Painkiller Already - PKA 629 W/ Strain Central: Dana White Scandal, Brutal NFL Hit, Hot Celebrities
Episode Date: January 7, 2023...
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pka 629 with our guest josh aka strange central yeah this episode of pka brought to you by lock
and load blue chew and of course wonky weeds all right great product a great way to get high
and a great person to get high with here with us josh strange central how are you man it's been a
couple years i think at least a year it's been a hot minute i've been doing well though yeah you weren't doing well before like but someone asked who the guest was going to be
tonight i said it was you and they were like yeah that's the guy who like uh you know um
you know and i'm like the guy who had like a entire life breakdown you're like yeah
yeah yeah i'm gonna like kind of do it lightly yeah it's like pretty much i was coming from
like full mental breakdown and
like alcoholism which was i got a year sober so that's a positive thing nice you had the chip
are you doing aa oh yeah i get the gold coins i gotta start framing them or something wait
do you have one nearby no make a bracelet out of them make it make a little charm bracelet
you have to destroy it i would really have to wear it to bars and you get women to like
you get women you women to be like you get women to be like
this. I haven't had a drink. And then you get
the lady to take you out of there to save you from the
alcohol. Right. Please save me from
myself. I have one.
If you bring
your chip to a bar, do they give you free
water? That's what
the Purple Heart's for.
I'm already wearing that let's
call this hookup tip always keep a two-year chip and a purple heart in your pocket so if you pass
by an aa meeting and there's a hot girl in there you can be like hell yeah yeah if they call you
out on the purple heart you show them the chip and they're sharing your chips until you have a
higher one how about that four years yeah i could teach you a thing or two well that's great man a
year sober i that's wonderful.
I feel like NA is the place where most people go to hookup, though,
because it's all younger people in NA.
Like AA, I walk into a room, and it's mostly four 80-year-olds who have 40-year sobriety.
I'm like, who the fuck is this kid in his 20s?
What are you doing?
You should be partying right now.
You're still too young for this.
This is the worst hookup tips ever.
You want to get yourself a junkie?
I got tips for you
yeah four 80 year old men with your name on them i paid right at a rehab so it's not like i
necessarily did that entire thing correctly um but that was my first rehab in which i relapsed
so if you want to know a route in which not to get sober it's date the person you found in rehab
it's a pretty quick route too because you know that you both i
love to do drugs was she there for the same drug too no that was the thing that i thought we were
good on like she she was like a meth user i was like an alcoholic so i thought it like offset
each other and i'll get disney's offset but the equation didn't work i have to know like when you
go to these addiction meetings is there like a social hierarchy based on what you're addicted to?
Like, are you an alcoholic?
You know what?
Alcoholics is kind of pedestrian compared to my man.
That was how rehab was.
It was like everyone was in there for opiates.
And I was doing half ounces of Coke a day.
You walk in like I drank a lot of vodka.
And everyone's like, well, it's like thatave chappelle skit where he walks in for weed like i'm addicted to smoking
pot and he's like i suck dick for whatever for crack so it is that hierarchy thing where your
first few years you're almost like not necessarily even recognized as being sober it's like he's
gonna go back out he'll find his
way and then you hit like a year and people are like all right he might be taking this seriously
so there's there's weird hierarchies in that and there's weird dating situations it pretty much is
in the younger circles mostly just for hookups because it's really fucking hard to date as a
20 year old that doesn't drink like i can't go to a bar necessarily and most social situations
are like bowling alleys or whatever where people are drinking so if i go to an aa meeting it's like
one hopefully the person is actually trying to get sober and two you know we have the same interest
and we aren't going to be going to a bar so you said na is kind of the younger person one can you
not if your problem is just with alcohol do they not are they like you should probably go to aa not na or are they like you know take all yeah so
if you like switch to that maybe the yeah the cooler group i think they see it as alcohol is
a drug no matter what and that's kind of like the overclassing thing so you can kind of there's
actually groups for everything like overeaters anonymous and marijuana anonymous it's not quite so anonymous
wow what's that wow is there a triathlete meetup going on
what's happening
ties into something i was thinking like have you taken your rehab skills and applied them
to other places does it help you with diet and exercise and career?
To a degree.
I found when I first got sober, I was really struggling with depression.
And it was like the kind of depression that I couldn't get out of bed.
Mushrooms are good for that.
I've heard that.
I've heard a lot of the psychedelic experiences can help.
You come to me.
I got tips.
You'll have to fix that, Drew.
Is what is i see i think they say the leader of aa
like 10 years sober ended up trying lsd and i'm sure that was like he created some crazy program
and wanted to connect with the universe to try to figure out how he came to the idea of creating
this program so i think there is a a layover between hallucinogenic specifically and addicts. Are you religious?
You know, I
have my own spirituality.
I believe in
a god. I believe in
the idea of god, but I think that
every religion has its own
applicable goods.
So do you ever conflict
with the parts of AA that are so heavily
based upon Christianity like, Christianity?
Yeah, and there's...
Oh, that just jumped on my keyboard.
Am I still here?
Yeah, you're still here.
Yes, so there's actually groups specifically for people that are atheists,
and there's groups for people that aren't necessarily, you know, directly religious in the normal ways.
necessarily you know directly religious in the normal ways and actually in like the aa doctorate it says that they're not associated with any denomination sects or organization so if it is
you know being forced down your throat from the religious aspect they're not staying true to the
actual you know rules to the principles yeah i just know that it's you know you know the guy
who like founded aa that was a big part of it for him, clearly.
Right.
Because of the higher power part, where they're like, it can be whatever god you want, but it's got to be a higher power.
Like, you have to turn yourself over. Isn't that right? Right. So the idea of AA, it basically took an Oxford group, which was a religious group that tried to get people forcibly sober.
This was during the, you you know like alcohol prohibition
era um so it was a temperance movement that was basically fully religious like you had to believe
in god you had to surrender to the idea of like the catholic or whatever the baptist god and then
you could join the group but they took that oxford principle and consulted with like freud and some
other like the really big psychologist back then
and kind of came to the idea of AA that's like, you have to believe in something that's not
yourself. That's the main thing. Because like you yourself are powerless over whatever substance
you're consuming. So the idea of God kind of comes in for people that can't find a power that is not
themselves, that is not, you know, directly God or religious. So it's kind of like for people that can't find a power that is not themselves that is not you know directly god or
religious so it's kind of like for people that can't find their own spiritual principles or
spiritual idea they just kind of put god in the place because it's easiest for them to understand
if that makes sense so it's i'm not completely making you have to choose something above yourself
but not necessarily god so i could go into aa and be like, I'd turn myself over to Andrew Tate.
I mean, you know, if you're God, that's pretty alpha move.
You can only do that if you really mean it, though.
Yeah, I do.
If you run an A, no, no, no.
If I see you over by the complimentary donuts and coffee in the back,
which, by the way, are at the end of the meeting okay you're not the boss of me entertainers okay
you've had three donuts sir okay like calm down you brought your own coffee cup all right is it
a yeti I'm filling up your I came here to rent a Bugatti How many sugar packets are in your pocket
you piece of shit
I find that I get what I need out of this
in the first 45 to 50 seconds
Goodbye
This fucking guy
I don't even think he drinks
He's here for free donuts
He just bounced over from
Overeaters Anonymous
He's eating our shit You ever seen somebody come in a restaurant and actually scoop like tons of the like the
complimentary stuff that's for customers straws ketchup sugars salts creamers shit like that my
dad you know what would be fun it'd be fun to go to overeaters anonymous claim that you're like 18
months sober but not lose a fucking pound it haven't eaten too much in a year and a half
you just go to overeaters anonymous when you're feeling down on yourself or if you're heavy go
to the bulimia place and tell them how you defeated it have these really inspiring speeches
where you're in front of everybody and you're like i weighed a hundred pounds and then you start going off about like like like how you beat it by the end they're
gonna be crying yeah it's gonna be like phaedon on the fucking it was terrible i am i was cut
i was having sex seven times a week with a different person every night. Bulimia! You're not
a woman either.
You're not a bulimic woman. A bulimic man.
I also feel like
Overeaters is not the easiest one to fake.
You go into AA drunk, everyone's like,
oh, he's shit-faced. You go into fucking
AA, Overeaters anonymous,
busting out the scale. Oh, you gained
three pounds this week. We gotta test it to make
sure you're actually committed.
Easiest to fake in the short term.
I can get drunk today and show up at AA tomorrow acting like a superstar, but I can't overeat.
What a huge waste of your time to show up at these meetings.
When you don't need to show up for them.
I imagine there's no way to show up to an AA meeting drunk.
They had to have noses and eyes for it like hound dogs.
Like, hey, you! You had two beers earlier, didn't you?
I can tell.
If you had a drink with 20 mentally ill people, they would think you were among them.
I don't drink much at all.
I'm sure I haven't had anything since summertime.
I should just show up and ask for chips.
There's principles within the program that are good for everyone.
There's stuff you can apply to better your daily life,
especially if you're someone who's not motivated
or doesn't have an active set of something you're trying to achieve,
of goals.
There is sets of the program that are really good for inspiring people
and motivating people that were gutter you know bottom of the floor
drunks so there are applicable to a lot of other areas of life but it would be a huge it would
literally pretty much be torture going to one of those meetings not being an alcoholic
woody i'm sure you you mentioned him earlier andrew tate i i'm sure you were excited to hear
that they took his cars i I did see that. Yeah.
We'll see where this goes.
He's beaten the same charge before, I think, in England.
And he did it again in Romania.
And what he does, if the accusations are true, is he lures these women over by sort of saying, like, he'd like to be their boyfriend.
We're going to do this thing.
And then once they get there, he's really not the boyfriend.
And he's just using them to make money on OnlyFans. By the way,
I want to circle back to how much he makes at Hustler University. So these girls, for some
reason, feel trapped. I don't know. And it's human trafficking. And I think he's charged with rape
now, too. I don't know. And there's six of them like six women in a room producing only fans content for
andrew tate and i guess that's illegal he bragged us like just very recently like what why why didn't
we arrest him for this stuff if like he was wanted you know like when did that i don't think he's
wanted for it here he's wanted in romania maybe it's because he's doing it in romania he bragged
that he was paying off Romanian policemen,
and he bragged that he went to Romania.
I bet that's not hard.
Because you can get away with it there.
Well, I guess.
Don't talk shit about Romania.
Some people say that's what did him in.
He's super popular with the people under him,
but the people over him,
he sort of flaunts his success in their face,
and they stomped him down.
Man, people say that.
So I don't know.
Who are the people over him?
Like government and officials and stuff like that.
You know, he's bragging, I got the police in my pocket.
They're nothing to me.
And they're like, oh, you think so?
They're like, oh, this is a bad look for us proud Romanians.
Shut this down.
So Hustler University, he charges 50 bucks a month.
And in Hustler University, they teach you how to be a Sigma male.
They work out, exercise and make money.
You make money doing things like crypto investing, drop shipping, you know, the Internet stuff.
But there are some other ones, too, like online copywriting and logo designing for companies, things I don't usually hear about.
And they just encourage these people to go online
and make online businesses and stuff like that.
Cool.
Zach just said it's $150 a month,
but I'm sure I just read it was $50 a month.
And I also am sure I just read he had 200,000 people.
I did the math three times before I confirmed that's $10 million a month in revenue for online advice.
Wasn't it a Discord server?
Yeah.
At its core?
Yeah.
He's not even hosting.
No, of course he delegates that.
He's got staff.
He has teachers and stuff.
I'm sure they lack Tate's charisma, but they're supposed to be subject matter experts in the various things they're teaching you, like logo creation.
I wouldn't know how to do that.
I couldn't begin to do that.
It's not my skill set.
But when I heard it was $10 million a month, I don't know what his expenses are, but it would shock me to learn it was more than 20%.
It would shock me to learn that he wasn't bringing home gross $8 million a month.
$8 million. $8 million.
Yeah.
From that part of...
It makes me wonder why he did the OnlyFans.
What's his overhead?
Cars and manacles?
Maybe the OnlyFans.
He has professors that work for him.
I think he started with the OnlyFans.
Did he not?
He started with, like, campsites.
So, assumably, like, he snowballed from the campsites into social media.
He should have stopped doing all campsite stuff the cam sites into social media he should have stopped
doing all cam site stuff once he got the social media image thing but well we don't know that's
telling my wife i was like you can't get by on eight million a month you can't like to reduce
your criminal exposure see i need details like like all this is so vague i need to know how
many girls and what exactly did they say and i need to hear his side of it because this
all i hear these i hear charges and charges are so vague like you don't you don't know how many girls and what exactly did they say and i need to hear his side of it because this all i hear these i hear charges and charges are so vague like you don't you don't know how
credible they are every charge is credible kyle trust me i know this and every time like going
back to all the celebrity all the celebrity me too cases for example the ones that that were like
obvious the ones that were a little gray and the ones that were like aziz and sorry what was like
what the fuck yeah you know like like at first you heard charges or like or uh accusation then
they were like the ones like aziz or harvey weinstein like these are hard-working american
or some of them were guilty but very talented so we forgave them like kevin spacey do you know
how many lessons i learned that made me a better man from the cosby show please speak for yourself he's a great cards was
ruined it was ruined i wanted to ask one more thing about that because i know you uh josh you
do strain central you do a lot of uh weed cannabis content and now i was checking before the show you
do like the alternative stuff so that'll be fun when we do the ad read we can talk about that a bit uh how do aa and na respond to that is is their take kind of like well weed's not your
problem so we're not that's not our our bag you're here for something else i think there's there's
boundaries that i've set and maintain and then also it's just in like you read a set of rules
right and there's traditions that
are surrounding and then the tradition that says that our our main purpose and our main core is to
specifically for aa abstain from alcohol we're there to not drink so our common purpose is to
not drink and that's usually anything regarding cannabis or even medication at that is an outside
issue so like if it was in na and i was going to na meetings and i wasn't like talking
about it or didn't say anything about it and i think the same would be with aa like if i didn't
talk about it with people and wasn't open about the fact that i use it like a medicine um i'd be
hiding something so there's like little lies that end up being told and like it's a program regarding
truthfulness so it kind of just comes down to like being true with how i use it
and everything like that um there's definitely some old heads that have 10 years that are like
you know you're not sober you're smoking weed so you're not sober and i respect their view but it's
it's one of those things that weed i've learned will not kill me it might make me lazy it might
affect my drive and stuff like that when they do that you should call them out for drinking coffee right caffeine's a drug too you fucking bigot always
people hate being called a bigot right it's big and then i would feel like i had blue hair and i
was on twitter if i was dropping words like big yeah what you do is you make a burner account
on twitter as them you say something racist you screenshot your burner account on Twitter as them. You say something racist. You screenshot your
burner account and send it to them. Our fans
are all going to retweet it. It'll be good.
And that's how activism is done.
And that's
activism. And that's politics.
Did you say before that you're playing Tarkov?
Oh yeah. So I'm
on my fifth wipe. And I technically
missed last wipe. But I'm probably
40 or so hours into the wipe
in these four or five days.
But 10 plus hours in a day.
40 hours of two days.
Yeah. No, it's been three.
It's been four. We're on day four, I think.
Nice. What level are you?
I just hit, I think, either
18 or 19, but I haven't been tasking
as much as I have, just scav looting.
Trying to get that loot as full as i can yeah it's uh they added a lot of stuff the audio
is all jacked up um performance issues are everywhere but um i've always i'm used to the
audio being bad and i've got an expensive pc so i'm having a just a great time. They added a... Yeah, I don't know. I've been
tasking. They added
a pistol to the game, a five-shot
revolver that shoots the Ash-12
ammo, that 50
caliber ammo, and
if you have the right ammo, it one-taps people
to the chest, even with level 4 ammo.
Or level 4 vests.
And sometimes it'll
one-tap a level 5 vest.
So I put a fucking sniper scope on that bitch and I'm walking around
with it just having a ball.
Do you find it hard to aim?
No.
What is it called? Idle sway too much?
No, it's the steadiest
thing. It's like a rock.
I can snipe people at 100 meters with it.
It's incredible. It's one of the metal guns
for sure right now. It's that. It's one of the metal guns for sure right now.
It's that, and people are also running that new Russian SMG.
It kind of looks like an MG7.
The Tri-2 is real nice.
It's like a valve.
It's a lot like the valve.
Both suffer from ammo shortage, though.
But the nice thing about the revolver is I'll pay any price for that ammo.
I'll pay 2,000 or 3,000 rubles a shot because it's a five-shot revolver,
and I keep the rest of the ammo in my gamma.
I just drag the bullets into it.
So you're never losing chunks of ammo.
So you can spend 20,000, 30,000 rubles a shot.
I don't care.
Whatever it is because it one-taps people.
It's incredible.
Right.
So the.366, if you run AP in it,
that's pretty much the exact same.
I've never ran the little VPO in that game,
which is the single-shot sniper,
because it's 366 ammo.
That's like airsoft ammo, basically.
But if you throw the AP rounds in it,
it pens through level four,
and it's a single shot through level four,
even Thorax.
So I'm just running around with a four-shot,
basically, airsoft gun that has AP rounds in it.
Yeah, I've been playing way too much. I i i saw this the other day i saw a navy uh advertisement and uh i always pay
attention to military advertisements because they're they're advertising towards you know
16 17 18 19 year olds yeah trying to get them to sign their life over right to the armed forces
it's a big ask.
So what do they do to do it?
So, you know, you go back to thinking like, dude, that Marine Corps commercial that zooms
up to the mountaintop with the Marine dress uniform guy.
He's got the saber.
He's got kind of like in front of his face and, you know, the camera's panning and it's
always.
That made me want to be a Marine.
I remember seeing him on TV in the early 2000s
when I was 11 and being like,
God, someday.
And then, of course not.
The Marines have the best look out of anybody.
They look fucking slick.
This was a Navy commercial.
Who's second best?
Looking or like...
Looking.
Like the dress uniform.
The uniform.
What do the Air Force uniforms look like?
Aren't they pretty good looking or am I?
I'll be honest.
I don't I don't know what everybody else wears.
It's just that the Marine Corps thing, I can just picture it right with that cap.
And and can you pull up like a graphic of all the different branches of army like outfits lined up?
Yeah, it's God.
I want uniforms.
I think they're called costumes.
Oh, yeah. outfits lined up. Outfits. God. Uniforms. I think they're called costumes.
Oh, yeah.
I want to be in the pirate branch
of the military.
Do they have ninjas? That's the Coast Guard.
You can be in the pirate side or the ninja
side.
Whoever marketed for the Marines definitely
made them the most
badass. We're so tough. We're going to run the country. I feel like whoever marketed for the marines definitely like the navy said yeah yeah the most badass you know
we're so tough we're gonna run the country whereas i feel like all like even army is like
yeah you know their army their soldiers and then you have the navy which is like they're just semen
they're what they are the navy no the coolest fuckers in the world are in the navy and that's
what this commercial was it was showing off off like Navy SEALs or something.
And then it said, I wanted to get the quote right.
Adventure without any loading screens.
The Navy.
And I was like, damn.
That is preying on children.
I hearken back to what FPS Doug said all those years ago.
There's no respawn points in RL.
You get lag out there,
you're dead.
What are you thinking? There's no fucking
loading screens in the Navy.
It's like, oh my god. I mean,
it's true. It's true.
All right. Well, I think that...
Yeah, what is that?
Well, that's not...
Maybe find a parade.
Maybe find them in a parade.
I love that the Navy's a fat chick. What's going on with her hair? Maybe find them in a parade. Like, this looks like where I go to battle.
I love that the Navy's a fat chick.
What's wrong with our physiques here?
Aren't there any big, juicy, jacked men?
Air Force is a bad one.
Yeah, Air Force just looks like they're waiters.
Oh, look at the Marines.
That's a good one.
Case closed.
That's a great one.
I guess Navy was second.
Yeah. I was hoping the Navy
was going to be more
Captain Crunch-esque.
Remember those shoulder
pads with the ruffles?
Maybe one of those Napoleon
like hats.
Look, if you're like the
head admiral or whatever, the the the admiral of the north
fleet or whatever you may be i i expect you to have some some real you should be wearing some
cool shit like like stuff that you wouldn't wear into a battlefield you should look fancy
you should be flashy you know what would actually make the navy cooler is if we took down the
american flags and flew like a really violent flag,
like a pirate before we went into attack.
You know how pirates used to do that?
And so it'd be like,
the American flags are going down
and now the one with Putin's head
decapitated is up there.
Except we wouldn't want to go with like,
we wouldn't go with an actual person.
It obviously would be like a skull and cross.
Jolly Roger.
Jolly Roger.
I kept calling it Jolly Rancher and I'm like
I know that's not it
also a delicious thing
I like a nice Jolly Roger
that's a good idea there's a reason the pirates
used that it's because it was scary
I think that it's signaling
that they're going to take no
prisoners
or that they're offering battle
it's like a sign
if you can
if you can see my flag something's gone terribly wrong in my naval planning yeah if you're that
close it's not ideal in modern naval battle yes oh i saw this can you imagine like raising your
flag just show that you're chasing someone it's like being so confident it's like a mugger being
like having a siren like i'm almost ha ha, I'm almost there, idiot!
Like, right behind you.
Right, if it's more than a Somalian pirate,
you're making a terrible decision.
Glad you brought up the Somalian pirates.
No Jolly Rogers on the Somalian pirates.
I saw a story the other day where
the Somalian pirates were raiding at night.
They go up to those tanker ships and stuff,
and they see what they think is a juicy tanker ship.
And they go to board this motherfucker.
And it's like an Italian naval destroyer.
So everybody on board is like a fucking navyman.
They're armed.
They open up on these Somalis.
And the Somalis take off into the night.
Well, this is what they do
is track vessels at night.
They've got like radar and stuff.
I saw this story too, Kyle, but they were on
pirate patrol. They weren't just
going to Africa
for some reason or on their way.
Yeah, they were out there looking for pirates
and the pirates tried to take them down.
Yeah, it didn't work out. It didn't work out.
It didn't work out.
They killed one of the pirates.
They captured the rest.
They were impressed, they said, because these pirates were out like 50 fucking miles in
a kind of boat.
And what did they see?
What did the Italian boat look like?
It's a military boat, so it's got to look military-ish.
They thought it was like a container ship.
I guess it's kind of boxy on the top or something.
I've seen that.
There's probably millions of dollars of Parmesan in there.
They'll ransom the crew and ransom the one of Taylor's unpronounceable meats.
Yeah, the great so-pronounceable heist.
I was going to say, the military is sitting there with night vision,
and these guys are on a fucking dinghy
like, they've been
50 miles into that
so they just see a big black thing in front of them
and they're like, this is easy, clap, easy money
walk up to armed men
and then all the Italians are ready with their mustaches
and their fucking whatever
it would be hilarious if they successfully
with your dago mustache and your greasy hair
and your greasy hair I And your greasy hair.
I want them to successfully sea of thieves them, right?
Like board the ship and hide in the mast.
Yeah.
Become a barrel.
Eat their food and go back and make them wonder, like, is somebody here?
Go bail out one of those fucking smallies.
He's putting holes in the bow.
It also makes me wonder what the actual pirate
success rate is like how often do they
actually get aboard something and
complete one of their missions
what they do one try one shot
I mean
that's the I'm sure that
even guys who maybe aren't the smartest
cookie in the bunch
must look at some sort of risk reward analysis
right they're like I'm cookie in the bunch. Must look at some sort of risk-reward analysis when they do this.
They're like,
I suck right now. I'm hungry.
I have no job. No one's hiring around here.
I have no skills. Those are the people risking it to become pirates.
Yeah, probably so.
You gotta risk it for the biscuit if you want to be the best pirate.
There's a path at some point where it's like...
You gotta be the sweetest cookie in the jar.
You gotta be the sharpest crown in the box
smart cookie is a thing and then the smart cookie in the box is not really
yeah i mean the only time i've ever heard of fucking somali pirates really bringing home a w
is that tom hanks movie right You never hear about a real story
of like, man, the Somalis, they got
on the fucking Mona Lisa ship, dude. It's
gone. We don't know where it is.
I don't know why they were
doing their traditional tour 13
miles off the coast of the Horn of Africa.
That's just what they do.
They like to go to the stateless
nation of Somalia somalia where
there's you know no government and pirates kyle i have been trying to play tarkov so hard oh your
poor pc's still fucked the the the poor problem is my incompetence i am trying i well for people
that don't know my computers like over time would over time would freeze. I'd just come back, and it would have, like, the screen on it with a time that's not real.
Like, oh, look, a day and a half ago at 4 a.m., that's when it froze.
That's not what time it is now.
Yeah.
And that was happening for a while, and I kind of just would reboot it and use it.
It was cool.
I bought, what was the game we were looking at?
Darktide?
Is that right?
Darktide.
And I had all these issues while i played indicative of a bad
gpu like i was getting a lot of graphical anomaly anomalies anomalies anomalies i think and uh that
my other monitors were like blinking red and green and blue and stuff like that yeah that's weird i
googled the symptoms and it's when the game was crashing a lot and so that's a gpu problem so it's
like all right i buy a 480 cool cool plug that in it doesn't change the symptoms and then i like i had this issue
where it wasn't booting anymore i had to like boot in safe mode uninstall the graphics driver
and like get it to boot again all these troubles and eventually it won't boot at all or if it does
it's super slow like on the order of more than 20 minutes so i think it's the motherboard that after googling the motherboard is giving a code i think it was aa and that says it's a
bad motherboard okay cool we have a subject matter expert in the pka hangout he writes device drivers
and if you're not a computer programmer that's a code for he is like an alpha computer programmer
he's the nitty gritty nuts and bolts guy.
He's the,
he's a guy who would know.
And he's like,
look,
I see how it's pointing to the motherboard.
I get that,
but I'm also very experienced.
It's always Ram.
It's always Ram.
So I was like,
fuck it for a hundred dollars.
I'll buy some Ram.
I plug that in.
It doesn't fix it.
So now I have to swap the motherboard,
which is pretty much building a new PC.
Like, and I have a case. What is that? sorry i'm a new what is that the motherboard is the thing that has the cpu
seated inside of it it's the it's the thing it's it's the middle that everything connects to car
you have to take apart everything to get to this oh yeah that's the chassis of the car everything
has to come engine mounts to it. Body mounts to it.
Everything plugs into the motherboard.
It's the big circuit looking
thing that everything plugs into.
So I have a PC
I'm not using so I was like I'll put the motherboard in that
case. It has an upgraded PSU.
I'll use that.
I start pushing everything over.
I've done this like five or
six times before. Which is to say like I can do it,
but it's certainly not my cup of tea and I haven't done it for like four years or something.
Yeah, you're not sharp.
Yeah, there are a lot of little things to get wrong and I'm carefully doing it.
I spend hours on it and it won't boot.
It acts like it's not getting power, except it is because the motherboard,
not the things that plug into the motherboard itself, has like different RGB lights.
And they're all lighting pretty, the rainbows.
It's like, now I'm green, now I'm yellow, now I'm blue.
Clearly, you're getting power.
But when I press the power button, it's not responsive.
There is a power button on the motherboard, you would think would bypass like my shitty wiring
if that was it yeah it's not responsive either what's what's what are you getting to your
monitors yeah again not responsive like it's as if i never pressed the power button like like
right um have you tried plugging the monitors into different um ports on the on? Because it'll reset.
It might go back to the
primary ones.
I could play with that, but I'll remind you.
The fans don't spin.
It doesn't beep.
There's an LED on the motherboard that usually
has a bunch of codes and stuff.
Could it be like a lemon situation, like the way cars
are sometimes?
Could be, but now what?
Just because you're getting lighting
does not mean you're getting connected power also.
No, you don't think so, Kyle.
The reason you get lemons sometimes
is because cars have multiple computers in them
talking to one another,
and it can be so difficult to track down the problem.
We've got one computer with five components.
You know, like this isn't
rocket science it's it's barely computer science they have to send out a lemon of a pc every once
in a while okay which part is the lemon though like again like like like the motherboard this
seems to be the most important thing right well he already fixed that i swapped the motherboard
i'm still having problems i swapped the ram i'm still having problems that if it was a bad cpu i there's like a light for that i'm not getting that light i don't sucks
maybe the light's broken i'm deep at this point it just sunk calls fallacy the cost being the
things i bought and my time and i'm like i know i'm just like one switch away from getting this
right i just don't know what switch it is.
Here's what you need to do.
Take it to a PC repair shop in town.
Leave it with them. No, don't admit defeat.
Kyle's right, I think. I should just
walk this thing over. I mean, I'm shocked you didn't
just buy a whole new PC when
that one broke.
It sounded to me like your PC broke.
Oh, yeah.
That guy will keep up with it.
He'll make sure it stays safe.
You leave it with Hunter.
I said leave it with Hunter.
And then if you forget,
he'll track you down and give it to the news.
And then you'll be able to find it easy.
Why was this working again?
Giuliani will claim to have it.
I'm frustrated on your behalf
because I fucking hate this kind
of shit where stuff just doesn't fucking
work. And you go through the list
and you watch the YouTube videos. And the worst
is when you watch YouTube videos to help
with something and then you get all the
way through. You do all the steps
and it doesn't work. And then you go to
all the comments and all the comments are
like, lifesaver.
Perfect. As though it was
never broken and it's like, goddammit!
Fuck! What am I doing wrong?
Am I retarded? Perhaps.
And by the way, my work area sucks.
I'm working on the floor behind me
in a shag carpet.
Drop a little
of those tidy screws. Try it.
See if you find it again. It's great fun.
I've been playing that game all day. Good luck. You gonna be using tape what i wish i was playing was tarkov
and and for people who know the nature of tarkov like if you grind like kyle is kyle's ahead of
the curve what level are you 26 almost 27 right i bet when kyle looks at a list of 50 people
he's in the top three all the time i've only found one person that's at my level.
See?
Right?
So that means that when Kyle enters the raid, he's a little wealthier.
His character is better.
His character probably experiences less recoil than, like, a brand new character.
It runs longer.
It carries more shit.
He's stronger.
He's faster, kind of.
His recoil is less.
There's a bunch of things.
His footsteps are quieter than a new
person why because he's ahead of the curve and he gets an advantage and hear their footsteps
right way and he can hear their foot right meanwhile i can search a filing cabinet faster
than i'm in a race and everyone started but me i'm there like i can't wait to get to the start line. Well, one of the benefits that you'll have is I will have all the keys by the time that you get there.
I've got...
You'll be able to help that way.
Yeah, the keys are...
So they've slown progression way down.
If anybody wants to get into Tarkov, what he's saying is true, but everybody's slow because of the grindy nature of this particular wipe, this iteration of Tarkov, like, but what he's saying is true, but everybody's slow because of the grindy nature of this particular wipe.
This iteration of Tarkov is going to have a very long early wipe cycle.
They've made very common ammos more effective, so you don't run out of ammo.
Should I try it?
I have friends of mine bullying me, telling me, you don't think I would enjoy it?
No, no, you want to enjoy it you need to get you need to play a game where you encounter many more gunfights to
build your mouse and keyboard skills in tarkov you'll get into one gunfight every 12 minutes
and it will be six years before you're clicking on heads like landmark how much do you enjoy your
life currently i think probably too much i just i'm not very good at those kind of games.
Here's what you can do.
There's a bunch of super casual Tarkov players in our Discord.
Multiple of them are at the very beginning,
even though they've been playing for like a week.
They're still at the third quest.
They've been playing for a week.
You can hop in and play with them,
and nobody will give a shit if you lose,
and you won't give a shit if you lose.
And everybody there will love to answer Taylor's Tarkov question.
I would never want to.
Oh, please, Taylor, let me tell you about Tarkov.
Oh, Taylor, take a gun.
Oh, take my guns, Taylor.
When Kyle said one advantage I'm having, I didn't know what he was going to say.
It turned out to be keys.
I thought he was going to say, you're on YouTube.
People will give you money people will people give you i can live stream and they'll give me kits they can't anymore yeah they've made they could give you kits and give
you kits but they made so many you know how you used to be able to get no they seem kind of silly
you can't transfer from your there's a here's problem. I'll do it real quick. There's real money transactions.
Fuel the coding that's required to make smart cheats.
So what somebody does is they make a good cheat.
Now they can dominate in Tarkov and accrue lots of valuable items.
Now they can go online, sell those valuable items for real world money, dollars.
And that person comes in and they're able to,
they used to be able to just drop cases full of
money and valuable items and everything and now you can't do that anymore because they've limited
the things that you can take into a raid and then drop it says you can't drop this try again
motherfucker and we'll delete it making it harder for cheaters to sell in-game items for real life
money yeah kyle by the way that was really concise and well stated something i don't like about like tarkov like that that form of game is like i will never like
if i started now like i need a new pc first gotta order that but do that and i start playing i will
never be good enough to play with kyle and his friends and wo Like, you guys are way too good for me.
I'll never catch up.
Whereas, like, I just pick Age of Empires
because that's what I'm playing right now.
Like, you could jump in and play that,
and I could teach you because it's, like, those one-off games.
Something like Tarkov is, like, I frankly, like,
I would not want to play with Kyle and his group.
Not that I would be invited.
Because I would be, invited. I would be worried
like, I'm going to fuck up.
I'm going to cost somebody
six hours of their time.
No, no, no. That's what I'm saying, dude.
I play by myself.
I don't play with anybody.
I've played this whole wipe solo.
There's a group of guys in there who are brand new
and they're not taking
the game seriously at all. That's what I'm saying. You can of guys in there who are brand new and they're they're they're not taking the game seriously at all that's what i'm saying you can just jump in there you can just jump in there
with them and go look there are silly ways to play that game that you could be good at you could be
an extract camper you could wait at the part at the little the door where everybody all right so
escape from tarkov right you have to escape these raids you go into the raid with all these valuable
items that you bring. You push
O on your keyboard. It gives you a
list of places that you'll need to extract from
in the next 45 minutes.
Or you're fucked. You gotta get out.
If you don't extract in the 45 minutes,
you just die. Everything you brought in is lost.
You just lose everything. Okay. You might as well have died.
It's worse than that. So there's a list,
a very short list of locations where people
will extract. Usually just two primary ones on a map like Interchange.
You can just go there and wait in the bushes with grenades or an overpowered gun that's strong up close but not far, or the opposite.
You can use a sniper rifle and aim at the spot where people are going to be from a distance, and you can extract camp them.
So they'll go in there.
They'll fight tooth and nail
like the sound of this and and here's the thing it when when it happens to people they are
incredibly upset about it okay they are salty and you know that you've ruined their time because
they just spent 30 minutes working hard and they achieved something you when you do it you'll loot
them and you'll see you'll get get an idea of what they just did.
Because their loot tells a story.
In there will be another man's helmet and another man's medical device.
You can tell that there's like two classes of meds.
Ah, this is somebody else's shit.
You'll see another guy's gun.
You'll see another guy's dog tags.
And the dog tags will tell a little story.
Jim was killed by Bob.
Looks like Bob right here, huh? so the i avenged you jim the extract rate in tarkov is probably around like 45 that'd be like
a goodish typical unreasonable so most of the time you don't get out if you're extract camping
these people were crossing the finish line these people people did it. It's one of those raids that went well
for them. They've got a backpack full
of loot. They're happy as can be.
They're sprinting and dancing and hopping
to the extract. And then there's
you, the Grinch that stole
it. There's one more thing.
Their requests
that require you to go to a place,
do a hard thing, and then get
out. They've already done the hard a hard thing, and then get out.
They've already done the hard thing.
They just have to walk out.
But if you kill them, they've got to come back again and do a hard thing again.
Do I have to do the hard thing if I steal their stuff?
No, you still have to do it.
You don't have to do any hard things if you don't want to,
but if you want to progress through the game and do the story.
No, no, no.
But if I extract camp someone, can they hear me in voice chat?
If you want them to, yeah.
For about four seconds after you kill them.
No, that is tempting.
It's basically like sitting at the end of a bike race,
watching the winner coming across the finish line,
and then sticking your foot out as the bicyclist flips forward over their handlebars.
And then you get on their bike and you win the race.
Exactly.
If you want to play, you can buy the cheap version of the game.
You can get in there with the boys, and y'all can go five men deep and extract camp, and you'll have a blast.
You'll have a fucking blast.
Now, you said the success rate on actually extracting is less than 50%, which I did not realize it was that fucking hard.
So extract camping has got to be unbelievably common.
Like every time people are going to extract,
they have to be like, all right, let's wait.
Well, you always pucker up when you go,
but because of the one time that it happened
and it hurts so bad.
But look, I've played a lot, obviously, a lot.
And I don't think I've been extract camped.
I don't think I've been extract camped reserve i don't think i've been extra camped
i've gone through d2 maybe five times um why wouldn't you do it i feel like i get it
it's incredibly boring you're in there a long time and yeah and i'm coming for you i like
look i'm checking every corner when i come like if i'm coming into d2 you better be good if i
i'm coming you know i got grenades i've got a good gun i've got i'm coming into d2 you better be good if i i'm coming
you know i got grenades i've got a good gun i've got i'm stacked like you're you're gonna be in
trouble if you're not good um so you're not always successful unless you have something overpowered
like an impact grenade which are rare or or something like that i got a grenade launcher
now by the way woody fuck i got a fucking underbarrel grenade launcher yes for the ak
it's it's cool i've uh i've seen it on Twitch. Of course, I haven't
tried it.
I don't want to talk anymore Tarkov,
but I am absorbed
into it 100%. I've been
playing it.
I'm engaged in an automobile
base where I watched all my
competitors drive away.
You'll be there before you know it.
You gotta believe.
Zach gave me a good link. Thank you for that. i'll check it out in detail off the show but for fixing
my pc have you guys seen the um the top gun movie yet i'm gonna watch it tonight i still haven't
seen it no i read that it was the second most profitable or second most like highest selling
movie of 22 yeah it's incredibly highly rated and i saw that it was on paramount now and i have that
channel so i'm gonna fucking love it every gen xer i know like organically brought up to me like you
saw top gun i'm like no and they're like oh well i was born in 1975 and i fucking saw okay i love
maybe i should watch it that's me you should you're two years off, but I'm out. You're basically describing me.
Are there any more homoerotic volleyball scenes?
Just asking for a friend.
I told you, Gen XXX loves it.
Tom Cruise might be the best spokesman in the world.
Scientology.
He's so cool and good at everything he does.
He makes me think, like, shit, maybe they're on to something with that Scientology, right?
Like, the guy never rages.
Not really. Not at the normal human rate one of the religions has to be right right it's a number scheme i love that he's he's like gone into his tony hawk phase and late in his
late life like when he was in his 20s he wasn't jumping off buildings he was dancing in his
underwear right so now he's in his 40s and 50s, and he's riding motorcycles with no helmet, fast.
What a maniac.
Standing on airplanes.
His risk profile got even worse as he aged.
Actually, I think maybe Tom and I are onto something here.
We're risking less.
Yes, as a billionaire movie star, though.
And I bet he wanted.
If Tom Cruise dies right now,
he lived a better life than anybody else I can think of.
Look, Leonardo DiCaprio.
Leonardo DiCaprio has the greatest life
that's ever been lived by...
He's top 10 lives ever lived by men.
Did you see his new girlfriend?
I can imagine.
But his system is hilarious.
When she's like 24 and 10 months,
he's like pushing her out of a movie girl
i want a picture of them on the boat uh show me a picture of leo and the girl on the boat
leo doesn't have a shirt on no other full management team specifically for
next in line girlfriends like no we gotta get her moved out get the next right i like the idea that
his like her girlfriend's 21 so they're looking at, I don't know, 16-year-olds who will be ready
when she turns 25.
Yeah, she's ripening.
Her womb ripens, my lord.
There's some high school junior.
They're like, you're going to be Leo's girlfriend when you're 21.
And with the first overall pick of the 2004 Leonardo DiCaprio
new girlfriend draft.
Like Suszy Q.
Put her on the
number three drastic.
You'd have to wait.
Put her in the minor leagues
for a while while she seasons.
Wow. Oh, yeah.
Look at his body. That's great.
That's the body of someone who doesn't
care.
Dude, he's Elon musking that workout schedule.
That is an affluent lack of muscle.
There's a level of affluence it takes to get pussy.
I bet he's got gout.
I bet he's got like that.
Yeah, he's eating fucking organ meats like Bobby Hill.
He gets gap.
The confidence that he has blows me away.
Look, he's getting a handjob right now.
This guy's all, I love Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wish I were under 25.
Leonardo DiCaprio has lived a way better life than Tom.
Although, although, although Tom has enjoyed his life more than
Leo. That's the difference.
Because Tom, I've never seen Tom.
I've never...
Remember when that guy squirted water on Tom
at the premiere? Remember that
piece of shit went, like, squirted him in the
face? No.
And he was like,
he was like, no, no, no, no. Don't hurt him.
Don't hurt him. Come here. What's your problem?
Why'd you do that? Why'd you squirt me with the water what's wrong with you that's a jerk thing
to do that's a jerk thing to do you're a jerk and like and it was like oh he really called him out
he didn't let him like run away into the crowd or be drug away he like shamed him in front that's a
good way to handle that i've never seen that clip so what's wrong with you emotional warfare i like
it it's way better than what Dana went through. What I meant was
that's the only time I've ever seen Tom Cruise look sad
or upset about anything. He's always
so goddamn happy. His big
embarrassing moment was
him being too happy and celebrating
by jumping on a couch one time.
That's the thing people bring up. Remember, you see when
Tom Cruise lost his mind? He was
really happy.
I've never been that happy enough to jump on a couch.
Yeah, I don't know.
Are you a world famous, good looking millionaire who's in incredible shape?
Dates a different 25 year old every five years that's set up by the religion that you own?
No, you aren't?
Well, I guess not.
You won't ever jump on a couch then, you piece of shit.
Tom was happy.
You won't ever jump on a couch on fucking Oprah or whatever.
An absolute jubilation.
When you go on oprah make
sure you keep them fucking uh on the floor dude but let's see i'll jump on the couch too if she
has me on her fucking show i'm gonna take it over by xenu or whatever yeah no all that xenu shit
yeah it's lord xenu thank you no i mean i was making sure that you didn't think Xenu was a planet
Xenu's a guy
one thing I'm a little confused about
I'd love to get clarification on this
is Xenu merely imprisoned
like is Xenu
out there like imprisoned
potentially to be
unleashed back upon the
galaxy because
I don't remember if I know he was like overthrown
and he was either imprisoned
or laid low
but I don't remember which
they'll be like
I thought he was a Scientology god
who's god
okay so here's
Scientology I'm going to lay it out as quickly as I can
South Park can also do
this for you really well with animation I'm going to lay it out as quickly as I can. South Park can also do this for you really well with animation.
I'm going to skip some stuff because it's silly, made-up stuff.
First of all, you need to know that L. Ron Hubbard was a science
fiction writer. An unsuccessful one
up until Scientology.
Dianetics, I believe. Something like that is the
name of the book.
The idea is that this galactic ruler,
he ruled over the entire galaxy.
Many star systems
named Xenu had an over the entire galaxy. Many star systems named Xenu
had an overpopulation
problem. Too many people.
Can't support this population problem.
And so he took huge
swaths of the population
and he liquidated them
and took their souls out
and he
threw them into volcanoes on Earth.
He flew them to Earth in these spaceships
that looked like DC-10s, as he described it.
A plane of his time,
so it makes sense that L. Ron Hubbard
would use that to describe it.
Yeah, he couldn't compare it to a plane of the future.
No, of course not.
He doesn't know about that stuff.
So they fly the souls to Earth.
No, they fly the bodies to Earth.
They drop in the volcano.
The souls rise up,
and I think they brainwashed the people on the spaceship first and made them all crazy with some sort of visual stimuli.
But then their souls rose out of the volcanoes, all the aliens that were thrown into Earth's volcanoes.
And those souls flew into early man, our ancestors, our ancients.
And those are body thetans.
our ancient and and those are body thetans those are the sources of all of our psychological ill and many of our physio physiological ills so you got depression fucking body thetan man that's some
depressed ass alien soul infesting your body and we can purify you of that so like they're going
through those levels like i'm trying to purify the body thetans out of themselves and you don't learn and look i got some of that wrong and some of it's like yeah
horse before the cart but the point is it's all wackadoo made up like sci-fi shit it's not very
original and it's not very good so star trek is so much more original than all that nonsense that
l ron he's a bad science fiction writer. If Gene Roddenberry had a religion,
man, I might have already altered my ears and pointy or some shit,
thinking I was going to get to go up on Vulcan
and live up there living logically
for the rest of my eternity.
He could have hooked me,
but this was a bad science fiction writer.
So none of it makes sense.
The problem is you don't learn
any of that made up nonsense gobbledygook
until who knows what a celebrity pays in
because there's there's special
scenario but let's just say that like you're a businessman let's say you're like a respected
businessman who yeah we'd like him amongst us you know he'd be a respected member he's he's cut from
the same cloth but like the amount of money that you'd have to contribute might be a quarter million
a half million dollars like a meaningful amount of money in your world like a like huge to you before you find and it's been in fifty thousand dollar hundred thousand dollar chunks maybe or
maybe smaller to begin with you you've rpg'd this shit up to the end and now you've been told about
xenu at leah i'm i might butcher leah ramini the king of queen's wife yeah yeah she talked about
her mother's like super into science she was like one of the inner group.
She knew about Xenu.
And I guess there's like this ceremony when you're like OC 10 or whatever the fuck,
where you go in and you like, they let you in on some of that crazy shit.
And like she came out and she was like, what the fuck?
And her mom is like, can you believe it?
Can you believe it?
And she's like, no. No, I can't.
No, I literally cannot.
Yeah, so Scientology is an evil thing. But I feel like if you do believe
it, you become Tom Cruise.
So there is some credibility behind that.
That is a catch-22.
No, if you do believe it, you end up in Florida
as an unpaid intern living in an
un-air-conditioned trailer working
as a slave. because that's allegedly
in Minecraft
that very litigious group
yeah they're very litigious
let's keep respect
I've found that Tom Cruise is actually really logical
in his Scientology that for him
it's a good deal
you would think Scientology is terrible
they take all your money, they make you work for them, etc
but if you're Tom Cruise no, he gets free landscaping and bitches.
You see when they gave him the medal?
They get medals?
Oh, so there's a video.
There's a video.
Oh, I'm going to get this a little bit wrong again.
But it's at a Scientology medal giving ceremony.
That's all that matters.
That's fine.
Other religions don't have that.
It looks like a televangelist situation where you've got a massive group of churchgoers
and a big stage and a podium.
And it's Tom Cruise and it's like the guy.
Who's the guy who runs Scientology?
I've got my scavenger in my head.
Dr. Adam Science. Anyway guy that guy and I one of them's getting the medal and and Tom's like giving this really impassioned
speech I don't know how they let that get out but uh it's very creepy he's fully bought in I believe
but it has been nothing but a benefit I I think it was in one one of those documentaries I want
I watched about Scientology.
They were talking about how they set up
and sort of arranged his relationship with...
Who's the girl from Dawson's Creek?
Yeah, there he is wearing a metal jacket.
Is it Katie Holmes?
Katie Holmes.
How they arranged the whole thing
as he was leaving the Nicole Kidman relationship.
They were like,
oh yeah, we want a brunette.
She needs to be this age,
roughly this skin tone,
you know,
and they like set the whole thing up,
arranged that they would be in the same place
and they could go do this and that together.
And Tom Cruise isn't really even a part of this.
He's like,
yeah,
I'd love to be set up.
And they're like,
all right,
let's get that.
Everybody come on.
It's like that scene in Apollo 13.
It's like,
you know,
when Apollo 13 was like all
right you got this you got that two things that were never supposed to go together you got all
this horse shit put it together and they're like all right team engineers and they pulled one of
those and like threw tom cruise in there with katie holmes and made a whole relationship out
of it did they have kids i think they have kids didn't they name it like... I think the kid's name is Rumor. I think so.
Something like that?
Rumor.
Surrey.
Surrey.
Surrey.
Who was Apple?
Was Apple Jack's kid?
Rumor is Bruce Willis' daughter.
She's hot as fuck.
Elon Musk has a kid with an unpronounceable name
that they just call X, maybe?
Yeah, it's like A-E-X-12.
It's named after that big plane.
That shit sucks.
The kid's going to have to have a special keyboard.
You know why that's his name?
Because now when Elon Musk becomes such a hated individual,
his son can just make his name anything now.
Because that's just a placeholder name, right?
He'll be Brendan Musk eventually. He should have named him his name here now because that's just a placeholder name, right? He'll be Brendan Musk eventually.
He should have named him his third name here.
Yeah.
Two things I'm just
dying to say. One, Taylor said something
that is stuck in my head that
Leonardo DiCaprio has an
affluent lack of muscle.
It's like, I am fucking up.
I look poor.
I am going to fucking rock work.
Wow.
Go do some roofing, you lame girl.
What about that?
Wow.
Yeah.
No, you just, you want to be doughy as hell so people know, wow, that is a man of means.
I saw Avatar.
I saw it.
It was, I enjoyed it.
Look, I'm going to, I can tell you the plot of Avatar,
and it won't spoil it at all.
Jake Sully, the main character in the first Avatar,
he sort of repelled their invasion.
Well, they're mad at him, so they're trying to get him.
Boom.
Now you know everything there is to know.
Is he still there?
Same actor?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, here's something I don't remember from the last one.
Originally, they put their brains in that Navi body.
Oh, oh, he just never went back.
At the very end...
What happened to his crippled man body?
I want to say they used the magic soul tree
to permanently put him in the blue body.
Yeah.
In the first episode.
Is it weird if you did sex stuff to your man body
when you were in your Naboo body?
I'm okay with it.
No, the Naboo, they don't have penises and vaginas.
That's not gay, right?
They have, remember, because you saw the-
It's not gay to do it to your own body, right?
Yeah, but I'll be in my Naboo body.
It won't be like twins i can finally
suck my own dick but it's not even now it's but with some blue alien mouth you know i get myself
off and it looks like i just had a popsicle you know what i i love my own joke do you think that is the furry community like big into avatar
they're not even furry but think about what it represents it represents leaving your human body
and going to something that that that and actually becoming like that other like weird blue animal
thing and that's what they're all the fucking about. Every time,
they all want to be a blue animal-ish
thing.
Foxes and wolves.
Look at the Naboo or Navi or whatever.
They got the ears and the fucking
almond eyes.
Dude, the movie was good.
I saw it in a 3D theater
and it was like a modern theater with the
reclining seats and when the bass went hard it pushed
on your back. Indoor bathroom and
everything.
Modern theater.
It really did have an indoor bathroom.
But no, no. I'm trying to differentiate it.
Let your shit in a bucket at the end of the aisle.
I have a decent little
home projector type thing going on
but fucking my couch doesn't punch me in the back when the horses stomp and
gallop around or whatever.
Yeah.
And,
and it was 3d and I really enjoyed it.
Even though the plot was paper thin,
I,
the visuals were literally the best visuals that ever has been anything made
so far.
I,
there are obviously real actors with prosthetics and makeup,
and I can't tell where the reality ends and the CGI begins.
That's awesome. That's good.
I have no idea.
He's always done that.
James Cameron is the reason that technology moves forward.
Not only him, obviously George Lucas.
Those two men are the reason,
and Steven Spielberg to some extent.
Steven, it's more with cameras.
But those three have driven the advances
in camera technology, filming techniques,
as well as Christopher Nolan.
And the technology, though.
Like James Cameron specifically with the technology.
You look at Terminator 2, that liquid metal. Quick shout out to
Tarantino while I'm doing this.
No, Tarantino.
I'm not naming everybody.
These guys have done specific things.
But if you look at James Cameron
and the tech from the liquid
metal Terminator and Terminator 2,
that's crazy.
It still holds up. You can watch that movie
from 1992, I think.
Then you go to
the abyss.
That wacky technology where
the water
tentacle thing has the human face
and that pretty
white lady whose name is just...
I can't memorize that name.
I don't know how anybody does. Her last name is just...
Katie Holmes, We covered this.
Not even close.
So yeah.
You forgot. No, it's
a really weird name.
There's like multiple syllables or something.
The movie is really good. It does beat
you overhead with the environmentalism.
So if you're sensitive to that, you won't like it.
There's one scene, this won't spoil
anything, where they basically hunt whales and they do it yeah in the most like traumatizing evil way
possible like they get the baby first no they get the mom because the baby won't leave it and that's
like a free whale that comes with the mom and uh bonus well all right free whale and it's just
torturous the process in which they
get the whale.
Let me ask you this, Woody.
What kind of good stuff do you get out of alien whales?
An anti-aging cream.
Oh!
There's no problem anymore!
Who's lining up
in harpoon duty?
The only reason they need to kill less
is to make sure that they have
a sustainable supply of anti-aging.
Yes.
We need to be breeding them
in tiny tanks somewhere.
By the thousands.
Dude, I don't give a shit.
If they make anti-aging, are you joking about that?
Because that's the perfect answer.
No, that's the plot.
How well does it work? How well does the anti-aging it completely stops aging holy
yeah they didn't go as far as to say it makes you immortal and like impervious to damage but
no i don't care about the population i need enough for me i'm not sure what
because taylor has this idea idea of sustainably farming them.
No, I want it all now.
All at once?
Wipe them out.
Wipe them out and get me enough.
And I don't care about anybody else.
Well, in your reality, a thousand years down the road, you fall apart.
In my reality, I've got fucking anti-aging cream forever.
Because I started an evil, despotic dictatorship where I ensure that it's huge environmental levies and regulations on the common man and nothing at all for me, the elite.
So it's going to be like it's like nothing at all like it is here.
I can't wait to see.
I can't wait to see how like humans with like guns and missiles and spaceships are going to lose to the fucking Blue Indians again.
I can't wait to see
that little swing of
nonsense. It's going to happen again.
The worst part about that
inevitably happening, you don't have to spoil anything
or whatever, but the worst
part about that inevitably happening is
the team that shows up
that that happens to read the
report about the last team it happened to
yeah you know and they're all 15 and they're all 15 years older and it's really completed
this isn't a big spoiler because you learn it in like the opening minutes of the you know what
happened after colonel custer fucking lost at that last stand. He died. There weren't any more L's after that for a long time.
It turns out that the big baddie, if you remember him,
he's a military guy with a scar on his face.
He's older.
Yeah, badass.
Yeah.
Pumping on him.
Well, they had a backup of his personality,
and they put it into a Na'vi body,
and now he is also a Na'vi, but he's, you know.
Does he have a scar?
Oh, yeah, the scar transfers over.
How else would you recognize the character?
Dude, the actual tail is right.
As soon as they transferred, they just have it.
Also the haircut transferred over.
So you can recognize him that way.
Dude, this sounds really stupid, man.
The haircut transferred?
Yeah.
So he has a high and tight military haircut.
Oh, I know.
Scar on the side of his head.
So if he didn't have short hair,
you wouldn't totally appreciate the scar.
Man, fuck Avatar.
I mean, that's some basic-ass shit, James Cameron. It is basic.
Dude, James Cameron came up with this plot in 24 seconds,
and then it took him a decade to make the movie.
Yeah, so that's from Avatar 1.
He's a Na'vi in Avatar 2. That guy looks like he uh that was the only cool guy on the first movie dude i was
rooting for him the whole fucking time i wanted him i was sad they didn't go biological warfare
no not nearly far enough i wanted to be a big baby he needed to get real and start you know
getting some guns on the ground that That picture, you're right.
The tattoos came over.
They actually got a bunch of soldiers and all their tattoos came over.
There were soldiers that love a particular style of sunglasses,
so they got big ones made for their Na'vi bodies.
They're the same people.
Damn, Oakley's showing up big.
Are any of them pissed?
They're like, fuck, i don't have a dick
like now i have to fuck with my hair like a loser i think pretty much all of them are pretty
the knobby body if you get over the fact that you can't i guess jerking off different i don't know
you're just like a kendall it's a better body dudes up there brushing his hair i was gonna say
play with your hair and you're doing the same thing at that point it becomes more efficient
dude i could finally suck on my own hair that's what they keep doing they're like everyone stop sucking your own
hair we it's something that you learned as a child here it's not it's not okay it's not it's it's
pretty gauche here meanwhile the general is just like throating himself all the infant babies do
it constantly just part of the culture. Yeah, this sounds really dumb.
And this genuinely, how long has this movie been out?
A few weeks, a month, around there?
Yes, but I want to add, the movie's three hours and ten minutes.
And for me, it flew by, kind of.
It's a long movie.
You are the only person in my whole world now that I know who has seen this movie.
That's the level of disinterest I feel like among a lot of people with it.
None of my friends, no one has mentioned
this, no one's going to see it.
I don't think the movie's as interesting.
It is the biggest selling movie
that's come out in 2022.
Damn, my friends just met.
I guess I just don't hang out with people who go see movies.
Yeah, it crossed the billion dollar mark.
It's already in the top 50 all time of movies.
And it's I guess the Top Gun movie was second.
Right.
I was going to say, I feel like that kind of shows you that to actually reach like the
mainstream audience, it's not your average consumer that you're targeting.
You're targeting like this weird like Gen X completely like not the average movie goer
that we're all of a sudden like i have to go see the new avatar i
have to go see the new top gun not like your average person consuming stuff yeah and you can
see like that's a good point josh because like disney has made a pivot in their core consumer
in the past you know five ten years as well where it's no longer you know young children watching a
lot of disney cartoons it's like arrested development millennials who are consuming Disney cartoons.
And so like they're pivoting a lot of their content to be like for, you know,
a 35 year old millennial instead of for kids.
Of course, I could be wrong about this,
but it's my opinion that movies are more about like events now.
And those are the only movies that matter.
So it used to be 20 years ago, you could do a rom-com and it would pick up you know if you're the fifth most
popular movie you're okay and then it comes out on dvd and you get like another boost and that's
that now you're either fucking marvel avatar star wars or your movie failed yeah you can see all
those uh no no i think there's room you see otherwise you want to stream it yeah it's really Wars or your movie failed. You can see all those.
I think there's room. Otherwise you want
to stream it. Yeah, it's releasing straight
to streaming. Well, I think the
A24 stuff is a good example
of like cheap
like profitable modern
cinema. Yeah, the
production studio that made
Midsommar, Hereditary.
The Lighthouse. Yeah yeah i like that yeah
all of those like really successful low-ish budget but well done like they don't try to reach higher
than what their budget is like that's where like low budget looks bad that's smart like like if you
if you try to make a fucking like star wars clone with a 20 million dollar budget everybody's
laughing at it.
Have you ever seen that movie where like they're,
they're swatting at the CGI birds with coat hangers.
And clearly there's not,
there's just people in a parking lot swinging coat hangers.
I can't see the make-believe birds.
Don't make a movie that requires CGI if you have $20 million.
So they don't,
they make a really creepy movie that has 30 seconds of CGI and the whole
goddamn movie in the dark,
and it's a person floating or having a weird face,
and it's disturbing.
In Hereditary with that poor little girl?
Yeah, that was a good movie.
That unfortunate-looking girl.
Yeah, she has a disease or something.
Yes, she does.
That's why I called her unfortunate-looking.
Of course it does.
I wasn't honest. I didn't call her what I wanted to call her.
I appreciate that, Kyle. You're a good man.
I stopped the blow. I stopped the blow for that code face.
Zach, would you put up a hereditary picture?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, that's a fake one. I'll do that to kids.
It's a fine film.
Watch it.
But yeah, no, I see what you mean.
I saw that, what's his name, explaining,
maybe it was Matt Damon or somebody explaining
how movies aren't as profitable as they once were
because of the DVD market.
But I don't know.
I think when you're making a movie
for one of these big streaming services, were because of the dvd market um but i don't know i i think when you're making a movie for
uh one of these big streaming services you know like it doesn't have to be a hit that that chris
pratt movie that's a bad example because chris pratt's kind of like the lowest tier popcorn movie
but that was an expensive ass movie for the one with the time travel to fight the aliens
it was like this is a big deal like blockbuster movie just isn't he like
the biggest deal popcorn movie guy like with guardians of the galaxy and i feel like i see
him i don't watch his films but i feel like i scroll by him on shit all the time yeah he's
doing a lot of them um it seems like like they're always successful and he and he does one or two
or three a year so good for him so he's got that jurassic park money man i saw i saw the first
of his jurassic parks really just not good did you you know the the red you know the red you know
the redhead in jurassic park um i'm spacing the big ass yes it's how it's um ron howard's daughter
what's her what's her name that's ron howard's, yeah. Her ass is so goddamn big, they had to Photoshop it down.
They Photoshopped it down for the poster.
She has a badonkadonk ass,
like a big old ridiculous one.
Bryce Dallas Howard, that is her name.
She's a beautiful young lady.
Bryce Dallas Howard, sounds like it.
She's not a young lady anymore, I don't think.
She's probably older than me at this point.
But she's at this point.
At this point, she's beat you.
She used to be half my age.
She's 41.
She's going to catch me.
Still, beautiful woman.
But yeah, they had to Photoshop her
big old giant
pale ass down
to make it less huge for the poster.
Because it looked silly before.
Well, not before.
Oh, her.
Yeah, yeah.
People love her body.
She was in Mad
Man. No, no, no.
That's Christiana Hendricks.
This is just a
terrible, terrible photo of Bryce
Dallas Howard.
Show me her in Jurassic Park.
Oh, that's the good one.
That's the one that they're like, guys, we need to keep people focused on dinosaurs.
Instead of asses. Who you're thinking of, Woody, is the woman from Mad Men.
Christina Hendricks.
Christina Hendricks, who has the biggest boobs
there has ever been what apparently i think and i you know i don't think i'm exaggerating
r's or something like that they're absurd oh yeah they're ours so there are for retarding
for really really big tits do cup sizes go past age
I don't even know
you be
needing a flag as a bra
wow those are they're like human heads
this is like one of those things where
like then the photoshop would like drag
like Howie Mandel's head up
and put it back down to be like
I wonder wow i wonder
if i you know what i seriously want to see like is her lower back incredibly strong yeah does she
have like that that muscle next to your spine just like overdeveloped to counter the the weight of
her pulling her forward i think there's a whole like shout out to christina hendrix you're welcome on back then on the show anytime yeah damn those fucking mommy milkers i want to bat them around they're so big
you break your wrist i just want to like pour caramel all right anyway i remember the first
time i watched mad men and she came on screen and I'm like, how am I
supposed to focus on the business show now?
Now I'm just going to be thinking
every time she comes on screen.
On Amazon, there's a limited series called
10 Star and she's in it
at one point.
And I was like, whoa!
How's nobody even saying anything?
Because
in reality, if a woman with titties that big like
came into a room when she left somebody would say something yes like especially in a small town
that's news like like she comes in and she's like i'm representing the fucking oil company and we're
doing this that and the other of course whatever you say ma'am. You need to stay out of our business.
And she leaves and they're like,
fucking corporate lawyer
or whatever they said. They don't go, did you see
the tits on that?
Yeah, I don't know what she even said.
What did she say? Did anybody catch it?
Man, that's a dirty legal
trick. She said it in the big tit
one. That would be hilarious
if after she left the table, everyone
was like, did you hear her words?
That should be the whole premise
of the show. She's going everywhere.
She's constantly warning people
of what's coming and letting
them know that people are out to get them.
Nobody ever hears what she says.
The government's on their way for you right
now. The government's on their way.
And they're like, hell yeah, baby.
She's Paul Revere and she's rolling into town.
British are coming!
And everyone's like, she said something about coming.
I don't know.
Yeah, me too, me too.
Yeah, me too, babe.
Yeah, dude, we wouldn't have a country of Christina Hendricks.
I'm kind of into your stories.
How many of them?
It's funny.
Tell the Founding
Fathers. Tell them what?
That I'm hard right now?
Because of your tits bouncing
around on the Potomac River
or whatever the fuck?
American history.
I want to see a George Washington TV
show. Why hasn't that happened?
I want to see him cross the river,
that cold river he crossed.
How about a childhood?
Childhood?
Like his...
He was the...
He was the apple president.
The apple tree president
who lied and didn't chop it down.
You're thinking of Steve Jobs.
What led to that moment?
He had the,
I cannot tell the lie. I cannot tell the lie. Yeah yeah which is definitely a true story that's a that's a stupid
fucking story like like who cares that he couldn't tell a lie as a child that means he was an
uncreative child i don't i don't give a shit yeah and really he's gonna have a hard time succeeding
in politics you know what i said like like i couldn't believe this blew my mind we were talking
about his wooden teeth which everyone knows he everyone knows. He had wooden false teeth.
And he also had hippopotamus
ivory false teeth.
But something not too many people know,
I guess he had people teeth
too.
I think that he had slave teeth.
I choose to believe he harvested
the slaves he owned.
He was like, alright, line them up!
Smile, boys! They would take cadaver teeth. So he had the teeth he was like alright line them up smile boys
they would take cadaver teeth
so he had the teeth of a cadaver
no
it's a lot funnier
if he's lining up
smiles
no our founding father
wouldn't do that he was against slavery
he just kept it in check
his teeth look
his teeth look whiter in the donor mouth those are horse teeth why did that you can't tell
me those are horse why is there a big spring back there he didn't have that in his mouth did he
that's just for demonstrative purposes right this is for like uh so i'm gonna be honest i don't think
any of that did he have that whole mechanism in there like you know it's funny you can tell
i don't see any that even look vaguely like a person's tooth.
These look like...
Oh, they look awful.
These look...
Damn.
He was not a good looking dude.
Dude, that guy smiles at you and you fucking...
Oh, look at that one.
Can you imagine being so successful that hundreds of years after you die,
people talk about your teeth?
Can you imagine?
Oh, that's his jawbone
that's gonna be trump's hair in like 200 years they'll be like back in the day they thought it
was real like wait wait wait time out for a second like like that's wait whose jawbone is that
i can't read the blurry text like that's george washington's jaw i'm no there's no way no no no
it looks like his name is Lawrence John Devonshire.
Why do we have George Washington's fucking bottom jaw just in a fucking container somewhere?
That is disrespectful.
Doesn't that seem disrespectful?
Do we have FDR's crippled polio leg somewhere?
All weird up in a vessel?
Yeah, you're right.
I hope they have JFK's head in a jar.
Yeah, you're right.
I hope they have JFK's head in a jar.
That's like something you would do to an enemy where it'd be like, oh, here's Stalin's teeth or here's Stalin's hair plugs.
But like, we wouldn't do that to our own guys.
That wouldn't be like this is Lincoln's beard.
If that's actually George.
All right. Is that like a.
Why do we have George Washington's jaw?
That's definitely not George Washington's jaw.
There's no way they tore his jaw off.
Zach told me it was.
Zach's incorrect, and I haven't read any of his messages.
How was that acquired?
Did someone dig up George Washington's grave?
And then he goes to the
Natural History Museum and is like,
I did it for you.
It's true.
Is it a set of false teeth that's on display,
or is it his jawbone? I need to know. The lower plate of one of Washington's set of false teeth was's on display or is it his jawbone i need to know the lower plate
of one of washington's set of false teeth was on display so it looks like
he could in he could wear that take it in and out and that's wait wait wait all right time
let me ask you this so show show the picture once more please zach uh you're telling me that
his teeth were so bad that he put this in instead of his normal teeth?
He only had one tooth.
There's only three in the jawbone!
It's been a long time.
Look, look!
There's only like fucking three teeth
in the front!
At this point, it feels like you're taking digs at Boogie2899.
Look, look.
Boogie's got a solid
fucking front eight. You know? He did. Now he know he did now those are some bloody good teeth
very good teeth 18 inches into the ground
kyle i caught your joke i think no one else did
now he got those he got those teeth that you sell by like bragging about them on social media so you
know they're good.
They look better.
All jokes aside, they look better than him.
Better than they did before, yeah.
But not as good as they could have gone.
I mean, back in the day, when he first got him,
he looked like, you remember the Animaniacs?
Like Tom and Mary.
Oh, did he change him?
Did he have him updated or anything?
I think he got him shaved down a little bit. I had to do the same thing with these two yeah when i first got them they were too
too long and i had to go back in and be like hey trim that down a little bit and he trimmed
them down for me yeah bugs bunny action going on before yeah you don't want i would like you know
there's a part in a harry potter universe universe where Hermione has bad teeth and there's a situation where they they get shrunk down magically.
And she's like, ah, hey, don't reverse that.
Leave them the way they are.
And like, it just didn't make any sense to me.
It was like, if we can actually alter our bodies, then why are there so many ugly kids at Hogwarts?
You know?
Yeah.
Like there are so many fat kids at that school.
Jesus Christ.
So many fat kids. I school Jesus Christ so many fat kids
That's when they thought about Elastigirl from the Incredibles
She could choose any
Body shape and she chose
Badonkadonk
I think she's choosing to have a strong lower body and you're being a sexist
Well I do that yeah
Objectifying
That woman who's chosen to fight crime
And she needs to have a good vertical leap
Okay
I would have chosen to be just a regular guy,
but I'm nine feet tall.
Yeah.
But only outside the house.
It'd be inconvenient to shit on a normal toilet and stuff.
But when I went outside,
it'd just be huge.
I'd like to be able to change sizes.
Yeah, it is.
I'm dominating the street.
No one dares cross me.
But your car won't straight you i don't need to my
fucking legs you got all that nba money you can you can buy any car you want yeah yeah i'll go
i'll go to fucking 20 feet tall boom now i'm taking a new stride it might be hard to score
20 feet tall no one can stop you probably some people probably already seen the video of dana white and
his wife getting into a fight from new year's eve so um uh here's what happened uh and here's what
you see in the video anyway you see um like him kind of they're arguing and uh he kind of pulls
her to him he establishes risk control that's how it starts i so i'm sorry to cut you off but jackie and i watched this video
and sort of debated who's wrong who's more wrong for like a good 30 minutes and like nice bonding
it the video is actually two videos linked together so i'm guessing it was something of
a prolonged argument like this part i'm inventing but i think the guy's filming he took a little
magic from like his first film and then he just jump cuts to the next part.
So I'm guessing there's a gap.
And then you see the thing that Kyle's playing out.
In the first one, he was holding his wife's fingers awkwardly.
He's got a grip on some but not all of her fingers,
and he's controlling her hand that way.
And her wrist is kind of bent.
And my interpretation is that this isn't the first time
she's hit him that he's like wrist controlling or in this case finger controlling her and not
letting her hit him and he's agitated with her too and sort of manhandling her he's alphaing her
a bit um then it jump cuts and she's leaning over like a half wall
and i think she may have like her face in her hand she's obviously upset and distraught over
something he leans into her and says something that makes her more upset and again like gets
wrist control and with her other hand she slaps dana white so dana white immediately slaps her back twice
and that's the end of the footage you can't tell if he hits her twice
ah i have like a really high confidence on this oh you're saying the second one might have missed
i watched ariel hawani break this down okay i mean i could. Look, he's a professional. That's what he does. He was a boxer.
It was overhead.
We're the wrong guy.
Ariel Helwani, the MMA, like MMA.
When you said he was a professional, I was saying he was a professional fighter.
Dana White.
Oh, no, no, no.
You know who Ariel Helwani is?
Of course, yeah.
The Jewish guy with the shaved head, the large-nosed fellow.
That's racist, but yes, I do know him.
No, it's racist that he chose to have a large nose like that as a
jew true i didn't true that is what he picked yeah yeah i fucking love ariel i i back ariel
every time every he's always right every time i'm talking about every time somebody comes at him
they get fucking dealt with all right because he'll lay out evidence timelines and he'll start
showing fucking screenshots and video evidence.
He'll be like, roll it.
Roll the tape.
Roll the tape of that motherfucker saying this.
Show me the tweet of him saying that.
And he's like, I thought this.
I said he nails people to the wall.
So Dana White and him hate each other.
So, of course, he had like a whole 35-minute thing here where he tore Dana White a new one and made him look awfully bad.
Yeah, I guess it does look bad.
To add on to what you're saying?
I want you to do the whole thing. I brought the topic
up. I'm sorry, but you
only half covered the aerial
thing.
Nobody knows what even...
Go ahead. Maybe I'm not letting you
finish your thought.
Really? I'm not going to do it.
I don't want to talk about it anymore.
I brought it up and you did.
You wanted to tell it and I want you to tell it.
Okay, so in
2016, Dana White
tore into Ariana.
Help me with his name, Ariel.
You won't even do that.
He's not even giving you that in.
You don't know the man's
name but you want i don't know anyone's name but um uh so 2016 he's like what are your kids gonna
think of you what are your kids gonna think of you and he came back at him with the same line
he's like now dana what do your kids think of you you're hitting their mom what do your kids
think of you how are you gonna deal with that that was what i wanted to add on to your story that's he like held on to that for years then and waited to strike at the
right time he did i think i'm not positive it's 2016 but i think it was and yeah so he held on
to that for seven years and uh and then struck back so yeah it'll be interesting to see um what
happens to dana i don't think anything
will but a lot of people are taking shots all of his enemies um chris cyborg and uh um
just a lot of people i saw chris cyborg saying he needs to take some time away from the ufc
to spread awareness for domestic violence shut up shut up shut up buggo nobody cares what you have to say yeah i think it's
in the ring it's a bad look and it's a really weird look because he's just about to have that
like i can't remember what he calls it but like the professional fighting championship our
professional slapping championship is uh is his newest venture and it's going live on uh on cable
like soon like days from now maybe it already did like the first episode and then here he is is his newest venture, and it's going live on cable soon,
like days from now.
Maybe it already did, like the first episode.
And then here he is getting babied by TMZ, by the way.
He's got enough connections there to delay the story
and to make the story Dana White apologizes for X, Y, and Z.
Dana White beats his wife at a nightclub on New Year's Eve,
and the story's delayed so many days, right? We didn't a nightclub on New Year's Eve. And the club, the story's delayed so many days, right?
Like we didn't hear about this on New Year's.
We heard about it a week later, almost, you know,
days and days later than we normally would.
So he definitely had some control over that.
I feel like TMZ was like, hey, Dana, shit, you slapped your wife last night.
We have the video and we have to release this because if we don't, you know,
they're going to sell it to somebody else. So it going up on the fifth let you let you know like yeah i
didn't think about that it released with his damage control it was like it came out and he
immediately had like videotape with tmz talking about it and i didn't i feel like they gave him
a chance to work it out with his kids first. This is coming. You should know.
Yeah.
He definitely got the rich white person treatment.
Dave Chappelle had a bit about that in the Chappelle show where if a white person were treated like a black person and if it was reversed when you're in trouble with the police and you had the black guy being called by the DA. Hey, easy money, is it? Yes, sir. We have some disturbing charges. They're saying racketeering, murder, and
oh, and he's sitting there, murder? That's
crazy. This could be damaging to my public profile
if it were to go public under the wrong lighting. And they're like, yes,
sir, we completely agree that's fine we'd like
you to come on in and us all get our heads
together and wrap our arms around
this and then it showed like the white guys
in bed with his wife they kick the door
in they come and they immediately kill
the golden retriever in the head
they're like get on the ground you piece
of shit like just reversing the roles
yeah it's about how it go
it's pretty accurate
i'm surprised it was i didn't actually see the video was this like a backhand was this an open
hand like it was it i saw two open hands i kind of want to re-watch it now because kyle said there
was only one but so i mean that's just marketing for his new slap fighting then it's just really
bad marketing all press is good i want to watch
the slap fighting like like i want to see i'm gonna watch him versus wife exactly that's what
i'm saying like like she could run the women's division and he could i wish they do a whole
vince mcmahon thing but they won't because i think he actually just assaulted his wife and it's not not a bit um it's pretty pretty rough stuff no oh dana white
dana white yeah i uh i don't know that's a bad fucking look though he's he's uh
you never see her in public i didn't even know he had a wife like i guess i knew that that
i guess i knew he was married but i didn't think he had a wife if that makes sense
so she's not in public so this this is not a, you know,
this was a real deal fight they had in public.
She really stays.
You told me that like they had a public statement
where they're like, we're embarrassed by this.
Give us privacy.
We talked about it with each other and our kids.
Respect our, you know, distance.
They're in a nightclub on like a second floor
and there's like a half wall in front of him
and someone's filming
from the first floor. This is all
pretty accurate. But the thing is
there's like disco blinking lights and shit
all over it. I looked at the video.
He did slapper twice, I think.
I can't be 100% sure connected
in the darkness and the blinking lights,
but he went to
slapper. Tried to slapper twice for sure.
Yeah, it's not a good look. Well, he won the fight. but he went to slap her, tried to slap her twice for sure. Yeah.
It's a,
it's not a good look.
It's not a good look.
He,
well, he won the fight.
He won the fight.
Yeah.
Yeah,
for sure.
That's,
that's the point.
Wait,
do I get you home?
I don't think it didn't look like their first rodeo at this.
Like the way that he,
he was,
they were first rodeo isn't out in public like that.
I wouldn't know.
Agree.
Hit him hard.
And she hit him pretty hard. and when he was talking to her
he was like grabbing wrist
it was like he was defensively alphaing her
if that makes sense
like trying to control her hands
and I'm like I think she's hit him before
well if you got a cat that scratches you know how to approach it
yeah
there could be reasons she's never really been in the public also like
this could be very well be like a reason she's not been in public eye a lot i don't know their
relationship i can tell you he cheats on her so much she's obviously oh is that public is he okay
with it poly under duress like something's going on there where under duress. Like something's going on there where. Under duress.
You've never heard of Polly under duress?
Yeah.
Polly under duress is a term where like she doesn't want to be Polly.
I'm just making this up.
I don't know what her deal is, but it's that or lose the Dana White money train.
And she's like, well, I'll take Polly under duress over divorce.
Some people are in that spot.
Well, that would be a shitty situation, but
I've never heard anything about this
at all.
I gotta listen to more fucking
MMA podcasts to get up on
everybody's sex shit, I guess.
But yeah.
Go ahead.
I was just gonna say, I think this is the industry where you get
away with it. I think that
traditionally it has been.
We've seen so many.
It's a little bit different, but we've seen so many sports stars just get a little.
They'd be able to beat their wives on camera.
Haven't NFL players killed people?
Yeah, but they have the CTX.
Yeah, but they went to prison.
On purpose.
Yeah, but they went to prison for it.
They didn't kill somebody and then get to play. They weren't like,
ah, let it slide.
OJ almost did.
OJ did.
OJ did slide.
You get one.
Like a little domestic
abuse, it feels like it's baked into the
cake. You all knew what you were getting.
Dana White doesn't portray
himself as a Boy Scout. Dana white doesn't portray himself as a
boy scout data white doesn't portray himself as like the on it no he's a fucking mobster running
ufc that's like kind of his brand and when i found out he hit his wife it was like yeah
that's probably not yeah but it's his it's his brand like you if you're a fighter i don't think
most people assume that like you're
beating women because it's like yeah he loves to beat things so much like like i know like all you
guys we do this show together like i'm actually i'm a really nice guy like to talk to you in real
life i'm not like gonna be like brutal and mean and everything like that's just for the show like
the same way like he's playing all that shit up. I'm sure he's a normal guy who just likes
to slap his wife sometimes.
He was defending himself.
He was in a bit of a
brouhaha.
I love that term.
Me too. In his statement,
basically what he said is, we were drunk
and we started smacking each
other around and we're embarrassed.
He had a great statement,
and of course it was well-coordinated with TMZ
to make sure it came out along with the video,
and I think he'll be fine,
because this is the industry of like...
I think so too.
I don't know, all sorts of shady, shady shit,
and I don't think anybody cares.
Well, and the statement makes a difference too.
And also, she hit him first.
I don't think that matters.
He shouldn't be slapping his wife in public.
If she's attacking him and he can't get away,
you're going to have to do something.
We've always said that.
Look, but I don't think that the first slap from your wife,
you need to take her out.
That's the other thing.
It's his wife.
It's not like some crazy woman at a club came up and smacked him defend yourself quickly we don't know what's next yeah she could have a
needle in her pocket or something yeah or you know it's a razor in her in a left hand and a
smack in there i don't know what's coming let next i'm gonna knock you the fuck out if you
slap me in the middle of a club like lady but it's his wife she's not gonna sneak up and stab him
it's his wife he didn't need to smack her that was a you're gonna smack me motherfucker kind of smack yeah yeah that was not a defensive smack it was
like a retribution like a like oh you're gonna you're gonna embarrass me right now are you well
whop like that's what i got that's what i read with that situation the story seems to be dana
hit his wife like that's what i keep hearing about. I think we might open with that.
The story should be they hit each other.
Yeah.
A match made in heaven.
That's been the story that I've heard.
The story should be Dana's a counter puncher.
That's exactly how Ariel put it.
He phrased it that way.
He didn't say Dana White hit his wife. He was like, they got into an altercation,
and he laid it out, the chain
of events and everything, and was very fair
about it. He always is. That is the more accurate way
to say it. There was an altercation.
It's not like one of them was hauling off and just smacking
the other one non-reciprocally.
I don't know.
I don't think I would... I know that
as close as I've come to that, I was
sober at the time,
but I had my girl,
I guess not a girlfriend,
but a date smacked the shit out of me in line at a Six Flags.
And I didn't think about it.
Six Flags.
Yeah, right there.
Right there in front of everybody.
In line.
But yeah, oh, in line.
You can't even believe.
You're stuck until you get to the front of the line
with the same people that just saw you get slapped.
It was like a double date, too.
It was a double date.
The four of us were standing there talking.
Two guys, two girls were chatting.
To my credit, I was trolling her.
I had told this wackadoo story about how,
oh, you know, the scream machine here was actually in Coney Island.
It was called the Coney Island Ice Topper,
and they took it apart piece by piece.
I told this elaborate lie about how they brought it apart piece by piece and brought it.
I told this elaborate lie about how they brought it here and put it back together again.
So that when she went, really?
I go, nah.
And she didn't think that was funny.
And she just smacked the shit out of me.
And I didn't think for a moment about.
It's fine.
Who gives a fuck?
No, I was saying, oh, because that's a good bit.
I liked it.
I didn't like it is that's a good bit i liked it she was all wide-eyed nodding along as i told this like silly story about how like they put
it together piece by piece the mormons might have been been involved in this it was silly i was
making up nonsense and she didn't like being like made to look a fool is how she she thought it uh
it came across but because she was nodding along and believing me so thoroughly. I think everybody believed
my silly, goofy lie.
I didn't think about hitting her back.
Then again, I wasn't drunk. I've never been drunk
and hit by a woman.
I don't know what that's like either.
I know that my mom
and my dad would argue sometimes
and their most serious
arguments, the ones where dad would be like,
all right, I'm going to go leave now.
I'll be back in a few hours, maybe tomorrow.
They'll cool down.
Yeah.
But she would be all over him like, you motherfucker.
I'm going to get to.
And she punctuates her words with these like titty twisters.
She'd attack him.
She's like, come in, pinch, pop, twist and pop it.
What a bully.
Bam.
And he's backing up.
He's giving you swirlies at the same time.
Yeah.
He's backing up into the door.
Because I think he doesn't want to turn his back.
Because he knows he's going to get one in the back of the head or something if he turns around.
Oh, Jesus.
And she's like, you motherfucker.
Titty Twister.
You motherfucker twist.
You piece of shit twist.
Tell me, motherfucker twist.
Wasn't he defending?
He's trying to, but like...
She's quick.
Actually, no, no.
No, he's not defending at all.
That's right.
I remember it now.
He's just taking them without flinching.
That's what it was.
After all those years, he's got iron nipples.
Yeah.
He was just taking them without flinching as he backed away
those i mean his nipples are just dead skin at this point
there's no sensitivity there that's rawhide it's like a it's like a dog's chew toy like that
yeah i don't know i i don't think i would hit my uh my wife certainly um in a scenario like that
um so so it is a bad look and it does uh like what he said suggest that he probably has hit
her before but she's probably hit him before um and uh and who knows but yeah it didn't look like
what he hit the nail on the head it didn't look like their first rodeo like this is something
that has happened before in their kitchen yeah but not at a club or whatever.
If anyone watches the video, look at how he grabs like wrist control and something comparable by holding their fingers.
He looked like he was concerned about getting hit.
Yeah.
Or scratched.
It looked like she slapped him many times before.
Because you're right.
He had a little regimen down even when he was drunk.
Those two met when they were 12.
They know each other really well if if she had gone from 12 to whatever he is now 50 and never hit him i don't
think he'd be like establishing risk control and protecting himself and all that or maybe it's a
i i wonder if she oh she did slap him it was a strip what i'm afraid of is always a scratch
anyway with with crazy ladies i don't want to be scratched.
My face at all, I don't want to be scratched. Even the skin.
It's embarrassing.
Like a cat.
Yeah, I don't want to be like cats.
It's not a good look.
It's not a good look for a grown man to appear to have been scratched on the face by a woman.
All right, explain that for the next 12 days.
What happened?
Well, it was just crazy.
Get him!
Well, first thing she did, she asked me,
how'd you get these scratches on your face?
To do that.
Yeah, no, you don't want to have scratches on your face
from a woman.
That doesn't look good.
Dude, the UGA game last weekend was fucking extraordinary.
They were down almost the whole goddamn game,
and they came back at the end.
Did you watch it?
Outscored, yeah.
Outscored them 18-3, I think, in the fourth quarter.
Came back 41-40, I think it was.
Something like that.
And they get the ball.
Ohio gets the ball back.
They're all right. It's the ball.
Yeah.
They get the ball back.
And they have a chance to kick the field goal to win to take the lead back
from away from georgia and this kid has to kick like a 50 yarder it's not even close taylor he
oh i saw oh bad way right and then they zoom in and dude looks like he wanted to kill himself
dude that that was bad that was that kid's moment where where two roads
diverged right there like if there are multiple universes right at or whatever there are two
versions of that kid that kicked that fucking ball and missed it and and he's on the ride that goes
left because he missed there's another guy that makes that fucking kick and they beat the university
of georgia number one ranked team they go to the national championship, and they would have beaten TCU
because they don't have any business in there with them anyway.
That kid's a national champion.
They ride into it on his fucking kick.
The draft is coming up.
He's one of those guys.
He's one of those guys who gets that lifelong,
it doesn't matter what the pressure is, old Dirk, he fucking kicks him in.
Remember the national title,
the game that got him into the title game?
Ice in his veins.
I was there, 53 yards,
and every soul in America was watching it.
That would have been that guy's story,
but now he's that other kid.
I bet he, hopefully,
the lead up to his kick
like i i watched the clip and if if i'm remembering the correct game like they were talking before the
guy went up for the kick and they're like this kid's fucking tremendous here's the past list
of like the he was on a run of like and these weren't like piddling little kicks like he was
kicking like that distance and hitting it and so it's not like this was out of the cards for him like he had recently made many kicks that length and so like it's so hard
to the left oh it was like i tried to do it like it was it was like he had plenty of power he had
plenty of power um like i can't kick a football at all like i can't throw one either i saw this
thing that the u.s military was designing a grenade that was shaped like the football because they knew that so many servicemen would be able to fucking throw the thing accurately and now we
have women in the military yeah well now they now they make them out of never mind don't do that um
yeah i i wish that sometimes i wish i joined the military just so I'd, I could have gotten to like play with some scary stuff.
But the thing is I have this,
this,
this silly version of being in the military.
What else do you want to play with?
Play with tanks and be like the head of the Taliban member.
I wish that I had like shot for like air force pilot been.
And like my, you you know in that situation i
think your dream job is we're in a fighter plane or something fast and cool backup job we're driving
the cargo planes and we'll fall back to to air to airline pilot someday and make a killing and like
worst case scenario maybe we end up being an air aircraft mechanic also doing well falling back to a well planned job
I kind of wish I'd done something like that
that would have been fun
because there's only one way
that they let you in
a 50 million dollar fucking
killing machine that flies faster
than the speed of sound
there's only one way you get to do that
and that's going in there
and you have to be like you have to be like, like, you have to be like the right.
Are they?
You have to be very smart.
Are those guys fucking geniuses?
I mean, they are like, I don't know.
Well, one of my it's funny, like one of my really close friends from high school.
Shout out, Matt.
Hope you're doing well.
I haven't talked to him in fucking 13 years now.
But he like all throughout high school, he was one of those guys where, like, you know, shout out matt hope you're doing well i haven't talked to him in fucking 13 years now but uh he
like all throughout high school he was one of those guys were like you know you could ask those
certain people who were like what are you gonna be i'm gonna be an attorney and then like 10 years
later you're like that guy's a fucking attorney he always was like i'm gonna be a fighter pilot
in the air force and we were like okay like you know that's like fucking borderline impossible
like that's really hard but he's he was brilliant very smart guy super athletic and like i this was a few years ago now like i
was just curious and i was like i googled him to see what came of him literally a fighter pilot
for the u.s uh air force like that is what he is now he like flies those 60 million dollar planes like and i was just like like i got like a he was
he was like uh five eight five eight ish right that's one thing i've always heard which apparently
is like prime fighter pilot size like five eight is like very good for that not only do i think
they fit in there better i think that they handle g's better if you're if you're shorter i think you're right and uh i guess i guess i'd have that going against me even like six feet tall is apparently pretty
tall for that position like it does help you youtube it was the distance from your heart to
your brain and it's just a little shorter if you're shorter and that yeah on average women
were taking g's better than men i bet bet. Just because on average, they're shorter.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't you struggle to drive too professionally and stuff when you're taller?
Most F1 drivers are pretty much the same size, like 5'8",
because they have to actually fit in their cars.
Yeah, they're little.
Look at jockeys.
They're all 4'10".
Well, it's got to be an advantage to weigh less, right?
Definitely. That's true. In all racing sports, any kind that they don't balance out for, you know,
balancing out seems unfair, too, because it seems like part of your effort is like
like that dude who's like practice racing just as much as much as you who's 250 pounds.
But you also put in the physical effort and you weigh 160.
Like you should get
a benefit there right it's still it's a sport it's a sport you don't get special sticks that
make you shoot harder if you're not strong in the combine in the nhl like you have to work with the
same equipment you have to yeah that seems you'd want to you'd want to hit the scale like super
bloated and heavy and then you'd want to be like sweating and pissing it all out
for race day well that's what uh or yeah it'd be the opposite of what like wrestlers and people do
sure yeah yeah i i why don't they just weigh people in right before they go in the cage
and if you miss weight you're out because that would incentivize them to fight while dehydrated which is dangerous and bad
for your brain
that makes a huge amount of sense
I mean let's see how it goes for them though
it would be funny
you want more knockouts and you leave
that's how you get it
but it's just like weak
like just exhausted
punches
heavyweights
most guys literally wouldn't do it, though.
You've seen those guys on the scales who are shaking and trembling.
We could go beat these guys up right now.
They had a hard time getting to this room, right?
So the idea of them going and performing against another professional athlete is silly.
They wouldn't.
They'd be like, you know what?
Turns out I'm not a 155-pounder after all.
More of a 170-pounder.
These guys are professional athletes.
The scale is three inches tall, and they need help stepping down.
That's the moment I could beat Joe Loza.
Oh.
A lot of those guys catch an ass whooping.
You push them hard enough, they couldn't break their goddamn fall. Yeah, I lot of those guys catch an ass whooping. You push them hard enough.
They couldn't catch their couldn't break their goddamn fall.
Yeah, I wish they'd do something like that because I'd like this.
It's so silly when you see that Dustin Poirier and Khabib Nurmagomedov are 155 pounders.
They are these giant dudes.
They are big.
They're six feet tall and they're 205 pounds when they walk around.
They're six feet tall and they're 205 pounds when they walk around.
These are big, solid, muscly men who somehow get down to 155 when it's fight time.
Is there a better system?
Because like what he said, you really can't weigh them too close to the fight.
Yes, you can.
Yes, you can.
If they want to come in like that and get the shit beaten out of them by a guy who belongs in the weight class, let them come.
If they want their brains beaten out of them, if they to die let it happen let i love this i'm such a retard in regard to mma kyle says that and immediately i'm like all
right i'm i switch teams and so so yeah you're right so now it'd be 155 pound guy who's hydrated
actually weighs 155 pounds and then there's a dude who weighs 185 pounds who comes into the
ring who has no business being there and he just gets dehydratedly knocked out all right you you
won me over that would be fun one championship does it and it's expensive they weigh people
in training camp they weigh people all year round it's almost like usada drug tests
and that makes sure that they don't cut too much weight. They check their hydration.
That's overcomplicated, though. We weigh them right before
they step in there.
There are severe consequences for missing
weight. You better be dehydrated
enough right when you walk in, dummy.
You don't get a sip of water
until you're in the cage. Uh-uh.
After round one.
That's the other rule.
That's the other rule. No sips of water until after round one. You's the other rule.
No sips of water till after round one.
You shouldn't even be thirsty
when you walk up to that scale.
You should be like, yeah, bro, let's do this.
Don't take your necklace off.
Don't take your beets by fucking whoever off.
No, wear sneakers when you get on there.
Those rock sneakers.
They should have to only drink beverages
that are promoted on the mat they're
drinking monster energy i just know when i introduced the sport to new people and and i
i have to explain that like oh yeah see there they cut weight and you see a guy who's like
he looks he looks like the guy who got the chemicals spilled on him and robocop he's
they're all they got the mr burn hands likeo cop. He's like, they're all, they got the Mr. Burn hands.
Like,
like,
like,
like our beloved president.
And they're all shaky and trembly and they look gone.
And sometimes they'll even tell you,
they're like,
God,
I feel like shit.
Like it's their worst day of their lives.
Fuck that.
Don't make them have to do that.
Make a system that doesn't incentivize that.
Cause they're the ones who are paying the price.
Like,
like the system,
the system is supposed to make it
so guys don't get hit while they're dehydrated.
Shit.
It's failed.
I just loved Mr. Burns' hands.
Yes.
Any clip of Joe Biden moving?
Like, dude, fucking make a fist.
Tom Cruise got a running trainer.
Have you guys seen the video
where they break down how Tom Cruise gets better at running as his career goes so at some point he hired a professional
running trainer olympians have looked at his gait his run and they estimate that he runs like 11
second hundred meter which obviously isn't like anything to sneeze at on a professional scale
it's not impressive rather um but but for a normal guy it's wild
they talk about like how he he shifted to the palms open like straight back head up like like
running running thing and how that every movie it seems that he's getting better and then they
talk about how he like looks forward to the sprints in his movies like i've seen interviews
where he's like not interviews but behind the scenes stuff and he's like yeah yeah we're doing the sprint later today yeah yeah
the big one the big one and it's it's when you see tom cruise run it's a thing of beauty it is
it's the action hero run i found it there's the evolution of the tom cruise run 1981 to 2008
daniel craig is second place run it's a very run, but nobody's as good as Tom Cruise. And the other thing
to point out in that video, when Tom Cruise runs,
he ain't in shorts. He's not in sneakers.
He's in a fucking suit. 90% of the time
he's in a fucking suit and a jacket
most of the time. It's crazy. And he's just
50 years old. I saw something
related that was kind of neat. So Will Smith,
this is back when he was on Top of the World
and Will Smith in a movie was a good thing.
He was trying to get his son to be a movie star.
And Kyle, help me.
Do you remember the name of that movie?
After Earth.
After Earth.
And he's talking to his son on camera.
And he's like, look, girls will look at you run and make a decision about how attractive you are in half a second.
You have got to get your run right.
And I was like, like wow he's right
i do that and i'm not even a girl i'm just a little gay
so i do a lazy jog like one of these ah so that you have i'm not trying thing cooking
i mean i try if i run it's it's this though it's it's it's very pumpy
yeah i don't robot hands for sure yeah it's this, though. It's very pumpy. Yeah, I don't robot hands
for sure. Yeah, it's closed fist for sure.
It's closed fist. Kind of loose, though.
If I were to go like this,
I'd feel like such an asshole.
I'm not going very quickly.
Not when you're
fist closed.
Yeah, you're right. I don't...
God, I look like an asshole either way.
It's kind of like this open hand thing
where like my hands are closed but they're not like fisted yeah i remember the best runners at
my school would do this like where like the long distance runners they just would have no
which makes sense because like energy conservation i guess every little bit counts
i don't run i'm not made for but I, and to rehab my broken leg,
which I'm still working on,
I do grapevines in my driveway.
I have this really long driveway and I grapevine gay as fuck.
I'm just like,
I hope nobody sees this.
Full hips.
Yeah.
Feeling like a vaudeville performer or something.
Yeah.
I've done that before. Like, it is funny when you're doing something physical and you're like thank god no one's here like i started
in the last like literally month or two actually stretching a little bit before i exercise and
lift weights because i've never done that before and the like the level to which I am inflexible is baffling to me.
Because Josh doesn't know, I was a goalie in ice hockey as my sport growing up.
And so I could do the splits.
I was incredibly flexible.
It's part of the position.
You have to be able to do that.
Now, I'm grunting, touching my toes.
Just bending down to touch my toes.
It was totally involuntary. I could still touch my toes, just bending down to touch my toes. It was totally involuntary.
I could still touch my toes, but I went, I didn't mean to.
It's just that's the level of fat I am.
And inflexible.
Yeah, inflexible.
Yeah, inflexible.
I'm not as fat as I was.
I've been trimming down.
Me too.
How's it going?
I was going to ask about it.
It's been going very well. Uh, I have made very big leaps in late night snacking. Like, cause that's like
always, that has been my, the, the, the crucible I've had to run is like every morning. It's like
from morning until 8 PM at night. I'm, I'm like, I'm jamming.
I'm feeling good.
Look at me banging on all cylinders.
And then the last few hours of the night, I just start feasting.
And I won't even notice sometimes that I'm doing it.
You don't make 11 p.m. dietary choices?
No, no.
You know what I did?
Dots pretzels.
Anyone who's ever had dots pretzel sticks, the most delicious salty snacks you can get at the grocery store.
I ate a family size bag of them the other night and the,
not the whole,
most of it.
And I,
and I did like,
I remember the next morning,
like I was shitting and I was like,
Jesus,
this is it.
And I was like,
Oh yeah.
Like,
you deserve this.
And so like,
that was a fuck up
i also mentioned the couple months ago fuck up i had where i ate pizza three days in a row
because because you know sometimes life comes at you fast and so you just need your pizza but
overall been doing very good if i snack at night now i just like fill a teeny little dish with like
some goldfish and then no matter how much i want to get back up and keep
munching like it's like no no you don't get that go drink another diet pepsi go drink go guzzle some
make some lemon water and guzzle that like fill your stomach with some zero calorie liquid instead
and that has been helpful so you just discipline the fuck out of it you're like i'll allow myself
a taste and that's it no more just the amount i put there
and then like i'm not even joking about like the diet pepsi thing like i will be like because like
you can you can trick yourself into thinking you're not that hungry with just liquid and so
i'll just be like i'm just gonna drink a big diet i'm just gonna drink a bunch of diet pepsi i'm
just gonna drink a bunch of lemon water something like that to trick me into being people say that
apparently the most clever part of my body is my stomach
because it's like,
I'm hungry.
Here's some water.
You fuck.
I didn't say thirsty,
but there are other times like this happened just actually last night.
This is undoing my whole fucking point.
But like,
I did have a tube of M and M minis that I got for Christmas and I did wake up at three in the morning to pee
and just got like a wild thought in my head at 3am and I'm like oh those M&M minis are in the
pantry and so I got up and I ate M&M minis last night at like three in the morning and then like
promptly went back to bed and And like, I gotta,
I gotta cut stuff like that out, obviously, but general, but I don't buy candy. Like I don't have
candy in my house. And so it's not like something that's just going to organically happen as me
popping up to buy, to, to, to eat candy. So this was a one, one off one simple thing. Uh, so yeah,
I've been doing pretty good. I've been doing pretty all right. I want to, I don't even know what I weigh what I weigh. I should weigh myself. But I know I've lost a good bit over the last year just because I've had to switch into my thinner person clothes.
And I'm so fat, it's like I hate myself actively.
And it's rare that I get that fat.
And then 36 is like normal level of fat.
And then 34, I look like they're painted on, but I can wear the 34s now.
And only a couple of them look like they're painted on.
And then like 32s is like, that's like dream mode.
Like that won't happen again.
It's okay. You you know we all have
memories of the good old days you know it's like a money ball where it's like you know everybody
reaches a day when they can't play the game anymore it just comes whether or not it's now
or 50 years from now so yeah i ran it feels good fitness challenge so coming into december i was
working out well i was lifting heavy i was like prs and like two-thirds of my lips and stuff.
It was so heavy by my standards.
And December 5th, I had one of Jackie and I.
We go on these sexcations or whatever.
So that's a weekend.
We're back for one day.
Then I go on my long motorcycle trip.
So basically from December 5th to like the 21st, I'm living on restaurant food.
And then we transition to christmas food right so even breakfast is like i don't know turkey with gravy on it
like i'm having breakfast gravy i'm having like thanksgiving a couple meals a day
so i just ate too much and of course i had all that restaurant food and i didn't work out at all on the road on either of these trips and when i came back
my i didn't complain about it on air but my lower rib like i strained it on one of the times like
the floating rib i picked up my motorcycle and both my elbows are bugging me and i was like it
i did not come back from that trip primed to lift weights emotionally yeah i'm
taking a rest day i'm taking a rest day but like rest day three jackie is like take the year off
you know it is christmas day now yeah like just just you can start next year so i started the
diet on like whatever the 28th or something and uh i started lifting weights on the first so i'm back at it now back
in the gym rocking it you always feel better when you're actively working out like it just yeah
if you've been in that routine for any amount of time and then you don't have it
your body it's like you just feel your body almost like fall apart yeah day by day you feel
your sleep fall apart in real time when you have a nice habit of lifting weights
and then you take an off day or not even an off day because like an off day is like that are
planned your body's recovering so you still get tired but you just blow it off and it's suddenly
like oh it's four in the morning and i'm not tired because i didn't burn myself out today
for me everyone should lift it's so it's so helpful it's like a confidence almost like happy
with myself judgmental type thing right like if if the number of the scale went up by a pound but i everyone should lift it's so it's so helpful it's like a confidence almost like happy with
myself judgmental type thing right like if if the number of the scale went up by a pound but i know
damn well i've been strict on diet i don't care right that scale will give way to my good habits
it just gotta um it on and but when i know that i've had bad habits like even if the scale doesn't
reflect it you fucking know what you did. It happened.
And so I feel better, more proud of myself, and I'm doing it right again.
Good.
Good.
How about you, Josh?
I need to develop an actual workout-type routine that's not directly cardio-based.
Because I do pretty much all like marketing right
now i'm not really doing any in front of the camera stuff for the most part um so i spend
most of my days here just staring at my computer and pretty sedentary um so i'll do like walking
and occasional runs and stuff and i have some free weights behind me but it's all super basic
and i need to get back into like a daily actual gym routine
i'm just living where i am right now i'm like outside seattle we're having a lot of issues
with just like security and safety it's like there's a lot of homeless people there's a lot
of oh yeah and all the more reason to get jacked or get fast I think you should incorporate homeless people into your work average.
It could be a little MMA, a little running, a little...
You run down there, say a couple of choice words, and now you have to go.
Rape a $50 bill to your back, show it to them, and start running.
Do a fishing pole with a 20 off the back.
Now you're talking.
It's the opposite.
It doesn't have to be weightlifting. If what you like talking opposite yeah i mean it doesn't it doesn't
have to be weight lifting like if what you like is cardio and that's what gets it going for you
that makes you just as tired and like on the in the truest strictest sense running is better for
you physically health-wise than lifting like right as far as longevity like your heart stuff like
that it is bad kyle you disagree it definitely is blow your
goddamn knees out all right you as if squatting and stuff is like your knees are we talking about
the one thing that scares me i can't hear you well then just don't squat just do something else
like you're not training for the olympics yeah it's not what benefits you over time i don't know
i was just saying like like are we talking about for longevity?
I was talking about for
overall health and longevity,
running seems to be,
cardio seems to be the thing that helps the most.
Cardio is huge for longevity because of the heart
issues. Not only
will you be less likely to
get heart disease and any number of things, but the
running is kind of tied to a better diet,
which is going to help with that too.
And also if you're a fit guy,
you'll be much more likely to notice if something is a little off,
right?
If you're measuring your,
your four Ks every couple of months and all of a sudden,
like you've got that weird pain when you,
when you,
when you like,
like you don't know that your car makes a noise at 80 miles per hour until
you go 80 miles per hour.
Right.
And like,
so if you're sitting on the couch and you don't ever tax your body at all you might not know that things are
going awry but i don't know a guy who's an athlete i think they they're gonna live a lot longer
especially if you're just you don't need to be an athlete don't let me say that if you're doing 30
minutes of cardio every single day for the rest of your life on average those guys are like a decade
living longer i bet oh yeah if not more and like
and then that also like compounds like you said where it's like okay the people who take the time
to run for 30 minutes every day are also more conscious about their food they're more there's
a lot about them yeah they're probably not things about dabbling in heroin on the weekends they're
probably having a few beers with friends and then running like it says a lot about their
socioeconomic status as well they have spare time they live in a place where it's safe to run
they have special shoes to do it like these guys are like this is a different class of people
a certain class of people maybe not a different class of people not everyone can i guess everybody
gets a cardio right every that is the one that everyone now we've talked now i'm just talking
about running everybody get some fucking cardio go fuck yeah i feel like you're if you're a prolific
like like like fucker like you can get some cardio in in the bedroom right like cardio's cardio
you get cardio in anywhere if you're not concerned about being rude you could be a poverty-driven
like central africa type dude and still get cardio in and oh you'll be yours will be forced upon you that's not there
kenyans love cardio they they love it they're great at it dude we were talking about training
versus cardio yeah we were talking about strength training versus cardio i keep getting fed this
like strength training is the better thing to do i dementia right this is something i worry about
because i can't remember a fucking actress's name to kill me maybe whatever the phrase is but um uh they're like those sudoku puzzles people do
all the brain teasers that like mental exercise not proven to help at all but strength training
does like it's better for your brain than sudoku puzzles i wouldn't have pictured that but that's
what they say i think it's that mind muscle connection that you're focusing on something.
That's got to be flexing some mental muscles too, maybe.
Well, you have to be pretty smart to bench.
Yeah.
There's some math to do.
There's fractions sometimes.
You know what's funny is that people who don't know how to lift probably really do think that like you just go in there and move weights
around and like there's not like specific structures you have to put your positions
you have to put your body in or you're gonna fuck yourself up like it is more complicated
like if you've never lifted before at all i'm watching videos before you try it right i'm in
max everything but i i do think that that's like a a common trait among people who like get into bodybuilding or like get
serious about fitness in one way or another like like how could you be a runner and not you know
your times whenever somebody starts talking about running out like i don't know shit about running
don't get me wrong i don't know the events or the distances but i'll ask them their times and some
bait like yeah what's your time in this what's your time with that ah you know they don't know
it's like you're not a. You're posing as a runner.
I'm not anything like a runner, but I know you're not a runner.
We lift weights,
but we're not
weightlifters.
Aren't we?
You probably know more than the basic.
We know the general part.
What do you have?
Gatekeep for me.
Gatekeep for me. What do a bit. Gatekeep for me.
What do you have to do to be considered a weightlifter,
not just a lifter of weights?
I guess I was thinking of it more like a weightlifter.
Would powerlifter be the right word?
Like someone whose principal goal is like more weight.
Like that is their thing.
They are like, I want a 700-pound deadlift weight like that is their thing they are like i want a 700
pound deadlift and that is my thing is it enough that it is their goal or must it be their profession
i think it's enough that it's their goal like because like i know the way that we all lift like
we don't really give a fuck about the total amount of weight we're more concerned with
just like building muscle and looking better with hypertrophy.
It's more expensive to lift more weight.
It's got to be hard to make that your profession too.
Yeah.
Making an actual living off of specifically just competing in bodybuilding,
you'd have to have a secondary social media or something.
Or you'd have to be just fucking unbelievable.
I feel like a Greek god.
Like one of the top five or something.
No, I've always felt that anything that I do that I get
paid for, I'm a professional at it.
And so I
was a professional Russian.
And so
made a little bit of money doing my
workout transformation. So I
feel that I'm a professional bodybuilder.
Sorry, I'm cutting you off here.
Is Wings a pro cod player yes yes he always had
not anymore not anymore i don't think he plays but he's a professional video game player and
whatever game he plays he's a pro at that in my opinion as long as the money's coming in
and you're just splitting hairs if you say anything else no so you don't have to like
you need the licensing organization to put their stamp on it no else. No. So you don't have to compete. You need the licensing organization to put their stamp on it.
No, I don't care.
So you don't have to compete in a sport to be a professional.
Like minor league baseball players would be.
Let me ask you this.
Let me ask you this.
Do you think the guy that painted your car ever went to a painting competition and placed third?
No, but he's a fucking car painter.
That's his job.
True.
You don't have to compete against people to make money
at something and to therefore be a professional at it. So Wings is as much of a professional
COD player as Optic, name a name.
Or anybody. As far as I'm concerned.
You do something for money, you're a professional at it.
But does that mean you're good? It does that mean you're good it does not
mean you're good at the thing it doesn't the difference you're entertaining it probably right
and me i guess in the weightlifting thing like to kyle's like umbridge took with my point is like i
just almost i guess in my head i considered it like different levels of intensity like i am a i
am a game i like to play games but i I'm not a good gamer.
I like to lift weights, but I'm not a power lifter.
You can be incredibly obsessed with games and be a full-time gamer and still stink,
and that's okay because so many games are single-player games,
and games aren't always about hitting a high score.
It's about the fun, right?
So you don't need to be good at a game to be a gamer.
But you clearly don't need to be good at a game to be a professional gamer.
We all do that.
So that's how I've always looked at that.
Are you guys board game people at all?
Do you guys like board games?
I want to be.
Dude, my house.
Come to my house.
Open invitation.
I'll invite all my friends over.
We'll play board games.
Do it.
Dude, I always wanted to play board games growing up,
but my sister was always too young or too disinterested.
My mom would be on board, but my dad would not.
He would either want to watch the news or relax in the evenings.
He does not want to sit down for a game of Monopoly or who's he, what's it, or whatever.
It's the same exact thing here.
I know exactly what you mean where mom would be like,
yeah, Taylor, let's try this game.
And I'd be like, dad, do you want to play this game?
And he'd be like, no.
No.
No, I'm watching the hockey game.
That sounds like being in high school detention to me.
Playing a board game is just...
Oh, boy.
If everyone's invested, it's fine.
Prince of Beers
forcing me to pay attention to something
I find not interesting. Not you?
No, no, no. You'd have fun.
Like Settlers of Catan.
If you guys
both came to my fucking house, Josh too,
and y'all came over and we played board
games, you guys would have a blast. You'd be having a good time.
I guarantee Woody would be having a good time.
That would surprise me.
Magic was fun.
I play Magic all the time.
I love Magic. It's a good community building thing.
Yes. Smart man.
Here's what we did, Josh.
I'd never played Magic before
and we didn't have very many cards with us
but we all went to Walmart and bought
multiple booster packs or whatever. And we made decks right there. We had a draft and we didn't have very many cards with us but we all went to walmart and bought like multiple booster packs or whatever and we made decks right there we had like a draft and we
like four-handed and it was really really fun it was a great time especially like we were so high
and that was a great time but yeah i could get into any board game like like like not necessarily
a card game like i'd like to play um settlers of katan i'd like to play an adult board game.
And I don't mean adult as in sexy or dirty or anything.
One of the harder ones.
Code Names is a board game.
They make code names.
I have code names.
I have it.
The only board game I can think of I like is...
I'm a world-class code names player.
I know you are.
You're very, very good.
And I have it.
I have the game.
And if you come to my house, I call you as the...
I'm better at Codenames than
I've ever been at any game I've ever played.
I love Codenames so much.
I dominate Codenames.
It is.
I'll win when I have the shit
like... Everybody will be like,
oh, look, it gave Kyle the bad words.
None of them connect
dang that's gonna be an l no see the the thing that that i think woody isn't considering
with board games is in a lot of them i'm picking settlers of katan there's a lot of other ones but
settlers of katan is like one of the most popular board games. It's very simple. It's about, you know, settling different
places on the board, resource management,
and then building roads
or additional cities or whatever
it takes in order to reach the requisite
10 victory points in order to win.
And it's
a blast. But what
makes it so fun, because it's a pretty
simple game, is that you can
fuck people over easily you can
lie you can trade resources it's all about trading and so if the four of us are playing and kyle has
even a slight lead in the game my mission now is to manipulate woody and josh into thinking that
kyle does not have a slight lead kyle's running away with it and we all have to dedicate ourselves to
stopping kyle and kyle at the same time notices that i'm barely behind him and he's going to try
and manipulate josh and woody into thinking that taylor's setting you up you fools he always does
this i'm not that far ahead i'm only ahead because i have this one car and woody's going to come up
in a second and then you can also do things like there is a knight. So there's a bunch of hexagons on the board that have different resources on them with a number on top.
So it might be wheat and a six.
That means if you have a city adjacent to that and you roll a six, you get to pick up a wheat card.
Now, there's another piece that you can put down if you roll a seven with two dice.
And that lets you move a piece onto someone's square
and steal a card from their hand now this is in poor taste but what you can do and what i always
do is i pulled that card and i go okay who's got something great for me i won't fuck you over if
you got something great for taylor right now who's giving good trades to taylor i got a sheep to
trade give me three of anything.
And then they have to debate amongst themselves.
Like,
no,
don't fucking give him that man.
Like he needs that.
Or like,
well,
I don't want to get fucked over by him.
Do you?
And then something you can do every once in a while,
which is fun is like,
if Kyle was trading with me in order to not get fucked over and I go,
okay,
all right,
I'll take this hugely lopsided trade.
Kyle.
Now I'm not going to fuck you over.
And then I fuck him over anyway.
Because you can't.
It's all diplomacy.
It's all figures.
Every moment of that sales pitch
made me want to play less and less.
The more it went on,
the less...
Invitation officially
rejected. You're not welcome at my home. You were like, invitation officially invitation officially redacted
you're not welcome at my home
I could give you six wheat
it was like I could see him losing interest
oh my god
when you were like oh I have six
wheat and then there's a manipulation
you said hex when you said hex tile
he checked out I watched
it's such a fun game
this is the worst possible game i can
imagine it sounds like taylor like get a fucking motorcycle i will take you on
get a fucking motorcycle no no i'm gonna keep playing katan
i just found another dude this is gonna make it. You hang on to for the rest of your life.
Are these the painted mountains that Tom Hanks ran through in Forrest Gump?
And I'm going to be like, yes, yes, they are.
Look around you.
You can hardly tell where the mountains and in the sunset begins.
This is incredible.
Look at this, Colorado.
You got birch trees and fucking this.
And then we're going to go.
We got birch trees. Colorado has like a different system. and fucking this and then we're gonna go They got Bird Street!
Colorado has like a different system.
They're gonna put you on top of the rock
and melt.
Dude, I was about to tell you
I was about to be like, there's actually
another game
called
and this is so funny because I just
it's called Ticket to Ride and because i just started it's called ticket to ride and you
build trains and it's actually a great game shout out to everyone who plays ticket to ride ticket
to ride settlers of katan very fun games you guys are wrong well actually just woody because josh
says he likes it and i know and i guarantee this is the kind of game that kyle once he realized how
to fuck people over and that aspect of it, the high risk, high reward,
you'd have fun with it.
Because that seems to be something you enjoy in games is the ability to really make someone's effort worthless
and also the risk of having your own effort made worthless.
I go to where quest keys spawn and throw them away.
So that the people who didn't have enough balls
to get there yet or enough gumption,
they don't get a key that way. You piece i hide them i know i know where they spawn i go there i pick
them up i throw them away i know the corpse on customs what else are you talking about the brown
jacket on a second second story of three story the um you go up the metal stairs two doors down
you jump over the desk make a a right, go in there.
The brown jacket's the second one over.
There's the mechanic key in that.
It's for the bronze pocket watch that's in the truck.
It's a one-use key now, which is extra fucky.
It's another way of, here's what they're doing.
It's a little shitty.
This isn't as much a Tarkov talk as it is a game developer being a certain way with streamers
and a different way with the community
so a lot of people suspect that streamers get access to better servers but we saw all the
servers go down um during the event so i'm not so sure about that but but what what they had
what they did do for sure a lot of the streamers um obviously speeding through the
quest and through the game's progression i was fast enough as well that i got through
the unknown key and that mechanical key when they were multi-use they're now single use they
changed that like as the fast people got through it they they threw this bottleneck down behind us.
They shut the door behind us and slowed everybody else down.
And they're doing that multiple times.
It's like as the fastest people get through, they're shutting doors behind them so that people can't progress as fast.
They're making keys that you could just buy now barter keys.
And I love it.
It's making the game so slow and grindy it's not a
streamer thing it is in it's just people who want the only people there are the streamers it's it's
the professional players like like their motivation was streamers their motivation was to close doors
behind streamers you think i think that they like i think it looks good um to have streamers shitting all over the average populace of the game
because it projects an idea of what it's like to play Tarkov that is very attractive.
Whereas if everybody was kind of on an even footing,
if you saw what Tarkov was like 24 hours a day for the average person,
if you had Timmy stream for 12 hours and you showed what what dude i i
watched a level four guy i watched a level four guy i sound whored him the whole way i like like
i i got eight witnesses to this i i'm nonchalantly looting sound whoring him i stand up i voip at him
hey catch and i throw an impact grenade kill him go back to fucking looting and he's
fucking dead like hey catch their scabs are harder than most players the scabs are legit
this wipe harder that's what tarkov is like he never saw it coming and i guarantee that
that was a huge amount of fun for you right he had to run five minutes to get there he was
like it's such a run to get to where we were like so if he knows where he's going it's five minutes if you don't
it could be wandering you're like moses in the desert you know i always thought that moses
getting lost for 40 years was ridiculous until i played woods in that tarkov
yeah i could see it i could see it because i think i've been doing loops around this
mountain for half a fucking hour and the timer's on red now and moses didn't have landmines yeah
you start at 9 p.m and the sun's coming up it's like what's over there sand what's behind us sand
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And I've got the nine milligram tablets.
So they're cosigning 18 milligrams at a time here.
Yeah, they've always said that.
I think it was you being like, more than that, I don't know.
But yeah, mine says the same thing i have the nine kind and
it says one or two uh which i i just have a oil drum full of dick pills at this point i need to
to cancel that um yeah so i so whenever you want to do that you go on there and you can put it on
hold and it'll ask you the reason and i remember when i was on there and you can put it on hold and it'll ask you the reason.
And I remember when I was going to jail, I put it on hold and like, hey, why?
And there's options.
They're like, I have plenty of medicine.
You can click that.
There's one that's like, ah, it's not working for me.
And I'm sure they would say, hey, this other thing could. You know, they're asking some helpful questions.
It's a doctor's sort of situation.
And I just typed in going to prison
lol
they immediately approved
the hold order
like alright alright that's fine
I think that's short sighted you could use dick pills in prison
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Did you guys see the
I think
the guy who was in the coma
from the football hit?
He's awake now, isn't he?
He's responsive.
Dude, apparently it was
fucking bad. how weak are
people your heart can't stop for a little bit did his heart were meat bags because he had to
they did cpr on him for like a huge amount of time on the field and i was seeing stuff online
where people were like everyone was like they got him to the hospital and i saw people commenting like dude cpr was performed on him for 18 minutes or whatever he's likely brain dead like it's almost
positive over half hour yeah and i saw a bunch of people being like it's almost positive no
no it doesn't why not why doesn't it why can't i manually breathe for him by pressing? But I mean, they had probably an EKG.
That's what CPR does.
No, it doesn't.
Yes, it does.
It's what it does.
It's what CPR is for.
It's to re-kick it.
It's not to, if it takes that long to re-kick it.
No, no, no.
I'm manually operating that motherfucker.
I'm pumping his blood for him and breathing oxygen into his lungs.
I'm doing all the work.
You're not breathing.
They don't do that
shit anymore. That's not... Yes, they do!
No, that... I literally watched a YouTube
video where they said... No, no, no. They have a
different system now. Now you use a puffer.
You're not supposed to use the... I won't let you stand there.
Sit there. And
besmirch a goddamn American hero
here. What is pulling countless
human beings out of the water?
Sweet!
I was like,
what are we talking about? You're acting like CPR is some made-up propaganda
or something like that. Like seatbelts.
Taylor's on to something. They've removed
the breasts. Or voting.
I don't think they removed it for two-person CPR
and I'm not sure.
I don't know. I just saw online that apparently
if you're under CPR for that duration
of time, it is very, very likely
that you're brain dead. But if he
is responding, then he's not brain
dead, obviously. Well, check this point.
You've lost the argument before it began.
It's the EKG, though. We have a case study here.
You have to think about that.
They have portable defibs
and portable stuff on the field that are much more
advanced than someone who just went out.
They would have basically
professional medical equipment
on the field with all the trainers and stuff.
I'm sure they had pretty much
ambulance equipment just on the field
at that point.
They wanted to keep the game going.
I'm telling you, if you hit me in the chest, I'd have been fine.
I'm a man, whatever his name is.
He didn't hit him that hard.
He didn't hit him that hard.
Everybody was like, have you seen the him that hard. I watched it.
Everybody was like, have you seen the hits?
The hardest hit ever.
And I watched it, and I was like, he could bounce right off me.
That was what surprised me about the hit.
I'd have laid the other guy out.
He would have been the one hurt.
Yeah, he would have had a neck injury if he hit this peck.
As far as football hits go, that was so not noticeable as a football hit.
There's a dozen. He hit so fucking hard, dude.
I really did think he hit himself.
I watched the clip in slow motion, and I was watching how if you watch the stance,
when he's running, he's so lowered, and you can see him generating so much power and speed,
and he just comes to a dead stop in that man's chest.
I don't know. I thought it was the kind of hit that happens 10 times a game yeah not a weak hit but football happens i mean the way he reacted is what was really crazy i guess well he stood up
and then yeah he like and he talked it looked like he talked for a couple seconds like he stood up
and then like said something to the dude and then just that's why i had to check and see it wasn't a head injury because that's what i assumed
from the jump that like he got knocked out or like it was something to do with his head and then you
play it back and it was like oh no that was directly to his chest so the only answer is that
was his heart so it did not look like a hit that well i did it i saw some part in that moment is
that what happened i i don't know it was in between beats so it was like a hit that... Did it stop his heart in that moment? Is that what happened? They're saying that it was
in between beats. So it was like a 1 in 6
million chance that it was in between
heartbeats and it hit in between
heartbeats and threw the rhythm of his heart off.
That was essentially the theory that was being
tossed around Twitter at the very least.
That sounds like that thing.
Yeah, that was the Twitter doctor. So take that grain of salt.
Is it that guy who did the boxing?
Is that who you watched also? I believe so. There the guy who did the boxing is that he watched also
i believe so there was someone who did a full video on it yeah i saw that video and apparently
if you hit a guy in the heart hard at just the right spot in the cycle it can stop it from beating
i saw it's mostly young people that get it it's usually uh young people in baseball or hockey
because the small projectile
and like i guess when you become an adult like your chest gets like thicker and stronger like
hardier and so like in younger guys like getting like getting the fucking fastball to the chest
or something can cause that i also heard it was more common in baseball than football which
surprised me yeah because it's like all about – I mean, that made sense to me
because if it's all about like a point of impact,
then it would make sense that the smaller thing –
like a baseball, the point of impact is so much smaller than like a shoulder.
I thought baseball players caught it all the time.
I'm not talking about me, a swimmer.
I get hit in the chest.
But a baseball player, they get hit in the glove.
Well, but baseball – no, no.
This happens to young people mostly.
Batters.
And so it's like a young guy.
He's not in the MLB.
He just is trying to catch a ball and gets drilled.
It's very rare regardless.
I think Kyle might be right about the batter thing.
I don't think it's drilling first base.
Yeah, you open up quite a bit of your outside where you'd be able to be hit around there.
They're not pitching that hard at 16.
Yeah, they are.
Some people are.
At 16, they can fucking hurl it.
50-60.
I read it was mostly line drives that did it.
I bet that doesn't help either.
Anytime the ball's moving fast and it hits somebody.
The worst thing I ever saw was me breaking my goddamn ankle like a dumbass,
and then that one kid getting
hit in the mouth with a throat with a fast thrown ball and he had braces and he just ate that shit
blood when you broke your ankle was your foot displaced was it all like um no it wasn't visually
like funky at all um they diagnosed it as a sprain and then the pain was like really excruciating that night i woke up
like in like ridiculous pain and went back and they're like oh yeah it is broken huh
like on a second look at the fucking x-ray like jesus you people are incompetent
but um it uh it sort of bent it was my right it's hard to remember honestly which one i broke
i don't remember which one broke i think it was the right one because that that makes the most sense and i think the right foot if um turned toward the pinky like the pinky led
the way in the turn and it turned out away from my body the right foot turning away from your body
pinky pinky direction when you're running for a base no when i was sliding in that you wear steel
cleats and the cleat caught on the rubber plate
so it my it made my foot roll made my me roll over my foot my foot had to stay
home okay your home is buried in yeah i bet you did it yeah total loss was it was it close was it
no i could have walked it backwards i don't even know if they were
throwing you know like i was gonna slide and look cool and fucking
i thought the way it felt how old were you
ninth grade i think something like that ninth grade i think no ninth or tenth it doesn't matter
um but but i thought there was going to be bones sticking out of my shin when i looked down because I think something like that. Ninth grade, I think. No, ninth or tenth. It doesn't matter.
But I thought there was going to be bones sticking out of my shin when I looked down because that's what it felt like.
I was afraid to look because I could hear it so loud, like so loud.
And yeah, that was silly.
I didn't.
When I broke my leg on the motorcycle accident, it didn't hurt that much. The couple like medical people that looked at it predicted that it wasn't broken it was just sprained because there wasn't that
much pain but it was really obvious on the x-rays yeah it wasn't tremendous pain it hurt but it
wasn't like overwhelming like oh oh it wasn't that shit like i've had i've had pain like that like from when i burnt my hand it wasn't like
what
i've just heard kyle's orgasm
did it hurt so much that you were shaking and it hurt
yeah i'm just imaginingassing afterwards still because it hurts
after your broken ankle did you have like a moment of clarity where you thought
oh man i probably should have taken the free run here
and that was not fun but it was the same thing where like once i did it it was very loud
and like the pop was loud
but i walked on it for like a week and occasionally it would what'd you break my torn my meniscus my
menial and my lateral um so like it would lock into place and all of a sudden i would be standing
there like polio leg just straight fucking couldn't move it at all or else i'd be in like
immense pain and then once it would go back to normal I'd be like okay it'd be fine
until I had surgery on it
how white trash is polio
I had a teacher
white trash
imagine how white
trash you had to be to get polio
I'm pretty sure polio was all over not just in white places
no no no no no no no no
modern polio
modern polio no you don't have to worry that white trash
problem i'm talking about modern fucking polio if it look if you know somebody today who has polio
they're white trash i promise you do you know someone there's a high connection yeah i did uh
he died a couple years ago but yeah like like he had polio he was my mother's age they
went to high school together and uh his name was jeff and jeff ended up in a wheelchair
and uh and i remember asking one day you know because he was around as i grew up like not
around us but like you would see him in the community or whatever and uh i'd be like oh you
went my mom would be like i went to can you believe I went to school with him? I'm like, he's your age.
He looks he looks 15 years older.
Yeah, yeah, he's my age.
I'm like, what happened to him?
That was a car accident.
Like like that other lady you went to school with because that happened.
No, polio.
I'm like, what?
That stuff from World War Two that they came up with the vaccine. My dad's got a polio vaccine scar.
I guess everybody of that age does.
You can see it.
I don't know if you guys have, but it's neat.
Find your old people that have them.
Look at them.
Make them show you the scar.
People still get polio vaccines?
No, because it's eradicated.
That's what I'm saying.
You've got to be so dirty to get it now.
I think you get it from bed bugs.
We're so old.
We're like you didn't like that guy.
We're like you didn't make it past the deadline where it was like.
Try to find a headline.
Try to find a headline about a person who just got polio.
And Zach, have my back here when you show the picture.
So you might have to cherry pick a little.
You know what I mean?
And if you never find a picture, that's okay too.
But don't show no colored people with polio.
Jesus Christ.
No people of color either.
I forgot.
We got distracted and I didn't finish the fucking
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I forgot. I hadn't taken
edibles in a while. I mean like a month
and a half, two months, or something like that. I've just been
vaping. I've had fun with that, and the edibles in a while i mean like a month and a half two months or something like that i've just been vaping i've uh i've had fun with that and the edibles can ruin your whole day you know or like
you know yesterday they thought hey yesterday i found a package of them i hadn't seen them around
in a while i've got them like laid about everywhere in boxes and stuff they sent me so many i was like
huh i wonder if these are fresh and i pop them sure enough they are because if you leave them
open too long they'll get like hard i bet you can still use them gummy bear you could like soak them
in like hot water i guess if you wanted to look they're drugs yeah you'll figure out a way to
take it right no we never said they tasted good low-key they are suppositories they do taste
some of them taste good some of them strawberry ones i like the strawberry ones are actually okay
anyway i popped two in my mouth and i i was chewing them up as i walked up the stairs to
my office here and i started thinking your tolerance is probably gone and i i walked
into the bathroom and i like opened the toilet and i spat out the vast majority of what was in
my mouth like well over three quarters of what was in my
mouth i spat it out because i was thinking like this is too much yeah i'm playing tarkov and i'm
in the discord and like i don't know there's half a dozen people in there maybe more we got there
was a big crowd later on in the night and uh i start feeling so weird and the game starts looking
funny like there's this there's a field of view bug you can do right now so that um the game starts looking funny. Like, there's a field of view bug you can do right now
so that the game does have kind of a different look to it
than I do.
It makes it, I feel like it's advantageous.
And then, you know, the game looks amazing as well.
I'm playing in 1440p, and I'm getting 144 hertz,
and I'm using a flashlight,
so you kind of have those god rays going,
and I'm running, and I'm feeling so weird it feels real it feels like i'm on a SWAT team and i'm clearing a building
because you can see the dust particles in the beam of light and like the the sort of fisheye thing
as i'm moving makes it sort of feel like i'm like i don't know there's there's so much depth it
looks so good and i was like what the fuck is wrong with me i'm like the edible the edible they're so goddamn strong
thank god you spit the other imagine you ate that entire thing i've been come the chair i've been
dosed to the max before like i've had some maximum dosages before like like i used to watch joey diaz on
on rogan brag about his 200 milligram gummies and at this point it's like all right i can i
i'm not gonna be like his friends that are scared of like a corner of his edible i'm gonna i'm on
the same level as he is when i'm when i'm in the swing of things but uh nonetheless nonetheless uh those things are super fucking
strong so to eat them with caution yes start off small the ones that really are i mean if you were
to take too much and then start driving like it don't drive and take any amount but you get what
i'm saying if you were to like take two of these and then go for a drive because you and like
forget right you take two forget and then oh i for a drive, and like forget, right?
You take two, forget, and then, oh, I need to go pick up little Billy.
Dude, let's hope you're not going to make it.
You're not going to make it.
You're not going to make it.
There's no way.
You're going to be on the side of the road crying. You would feel like you're driving a spaceship.
Yeah, you don't want to do that.
And these are the Death by Gummy Bears that Kyle's talking about,
the Wonky Weeds gummies that we're promoting tonight.
Those are cheaper.
The,
those are 30 milligrams of pop still pretty strong,
but not anything close to the a hundred milligrams of pop that the death by
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So check them out,
check them out.
It's high quality stuff.
What is your preferred of the THC alternatives,
Josh?
So I actually did a alternate cannabinoid tier list recently.
And I think HHC, I would agree, is probably in terms of strength up there.
THCO is also, I think, psychoactively probably one of my favorites.
But I've always been a fan of the...
I'll consume normal weed and then mix it with Delta-8.
And it gives almost that cbd
quality where it's very body heavy very just like almost sedating so i've i've liked pretty much
every like alternate cannabinoid that's come out came out recently uh i'm still it's funny i kyle
years ago changed the way i smoked in some way because like I dabbed for a long time flowers
never really got the job done I heard this motherfucker talk about the way he smoked and
he basically said like it's pretty much he sits down with flour smokes smoke smoke smoke smoke
smokes he's trying to achieve something very specific in that single sitting session and I
never really smoked like that I'd be like I hit a little bowl here hit a little bowl there so like
if I consume flour at any point I'm sitting down with the intention of like three or four bowls you know
just fully relaxing and consuming for that specific intention not just like one little hit there one
there i don't like this sort of make-believe things thing that like proper respectable adults
do when they consume things like caffeine alcohol and then slide it
on over to to cannabis and other drugs where we pretend like we're not here to get a desired
effect don't act like that booze tastes good don't act like that fucking big dick of a cigar
you're puffing on just just makes you feel like such a manly man suck Suck it deeper, Arnold, you bitch. You're smoking
it because it tingles and it feels good and it makes you
like it a little bit. It's a buzz.
It feels good. So let's
get all that bullshit out of the way and let's
dose the way it's
required to immediately achieve
those effects. I'm not going to sip your
fucking sweet nonsense
over the course of half an hour until
I get a weird headachy hangover
i'm gonna drink the purest vodka i can and i'm gonna drink three fucking fingers of it because
that's what it takes to get me trashed right you're looking for a specific three fingers and
a fucking like like glass like that and i'm gonna down the whole thing right now chase it with some
orange juice because i'm classy like that and i'm to be drunk because that's what I want to be is drunk.
That's literally how Kyle drinks.
Like he's not doing a joke.
Like he will literally just be like, I'm going to drink and then just drink a five ounce glass of vodka and be like, yeah, that was that was drinking.
You know, maybe now I'll drink another glass.
But and I do that for two reasons
one i'm over the pretense that i'm not here to get drunk if i'm drinking yeah and and two now
i can keep track now i'm never gonna over drink again i i do i bet i got sick so many times when
i was like i don't know younger like like in my 20s and and and trying to make it so many in the
early 30s even it wasn't that long ago. I've had some rough nights.
This show forced us to do some stuff that we know is like, well, this is going to suck
because you just keep getting more.
But in my
personal life, I don't do that anymore.
I don't drink till I vomit.
But yeah, if you're
going into something, like if you're trying to get high
for example on weed, cannabinoids,
whatever the fuck,
why am I sitting here putting all that harsh smoke in my lungs with some mid-grade marijuana like i'm a connoisseur smoking my hand rolled like non-bleached paper no get the fuck
out of here i'm gonna smoke some weird chemical out of this thing that i eat up with a blowtorch and in one hit let me tell you how how what it's
like you get such a hit of thc that you salivate to the point where you have to spit like like i
like it it's so much spit in your mouth that it feels gross to swallow it and it's your spit
like you're like like i don't know if as a kid if you were ever gross enough to sit there and
like save your spit up till you had like a mouthful i never did it just seems like a thing kids might do but
i was doing that i remember when kids would spit out that snotty shit and suck it back up over and
over kids things you remember it come on they did it you had a shit bandit no i know exactly i know
exactly i'm a man i'm picturing i'm picturing joe doing that on the playground and wanting to vomit. I hate that.
The bully thing is how I picture it.
I've never seen that in a bully
context. I just saw people in the
gross out context. One guy's pinned down, the other
one's doing it.
When I hit a big dab and I
have it and shit.
I haven't in so long. I was smoking some
Delta-8 stuff
a while back that was
concentrate.
I've stopped doing it
because it was so harsh and the vapes are so good
from our boys.
I smoked that stuff.
That was just okay, if I'm being honest.
I was getting some stuff
on wine
from another place. It's not as strong. Yeah um well it's delta eight so it's not that not as strong yeah but
it's concentrate and i was smoking huge like strings of it and uh and and you would get this
huge like hit of thc and again you would like salivate and have to spit i'd be like i'd run
to the sink i ran to the sink um to spit like it's that much of a huge punch i remember my girl this guy came to my house
this guy came to my house he was he was visiting and he was like hey have you ever done dad this
is the first time i ever did dabs he came to my house he's like you ever done dabs before and i'm
like isn't that some kind of a fucking like lame ass dance move or like or like planking or
something like like like that's that's some cringy shit man
no no no he's like no no no not that he's just like it's time no no it's drugs it's drugs
i think he said something like that so i was a little sketched i was like are we talking about
methamphetamine because i i don't i don't like that at all to me that's a little sketch that's another white trash drug i'm sorry it is wow skeeved out by meth pinkies up mr.
like fancy pants over here no methamphetamine in my house um please um and um but he's like
have you ever smoked and he explains no marijuana concentrate And I'm like, how do you do that?
And he's explained there's like three or four ways.
But long story short, the cheap, dirty way is to run, I think, butane through ground-up flour.
And you extract the concentrate thereby.
And then you're able to scrape it up.
The butane, it all evaporates away, as butane is known to do.
But you've got this oil now
you scrape it up you do it in the dab rig like we've described before it's a bong but hyper
heated by a blowtorch and instead of glass you've got aluminum or quartz is your bowl
we heated that mother fuck i had some wheat i had like three quarters of an ounce of wheat
or something half an ounce i'm like cook it all up big man you know what's up and he did and it made such an un it
made such an appallingly small amount of of concentrate because i because i didn't know what
i was looking at yeah that i was immediately angry at him i didn't say shit because i didn't want to
act the problem was it was so hard to get half an ounce of weed i just had procured that weed that
day this was my my weed for weeks.
He just turned it into
such a small amount of
brown, sticky shit.
I was like, I'm not
going to make a big deal out of this because he's going to think
I'm cheap, but what it is is it's going to
be hard for me to get more, so I'm just going to keep my mouth shut.
Then we hit that shit.
It was such
a fucking kick in the teeth that my girlfriend ran to her bedroom and like overheated, had to like strip down to her underwear, turn the fan on.
And she's like hyperventilating, overheating, can't breathe.
And I'm I'm I'm as stoned as her.
I'm trying to comfort her and I'm spitting everywhere.
as her and i'm trying to comfort her and uh and i'm spitting everywhere i've never had such a bad spit experience and i've taken plenty of dabs but i've never dealt
with that i salivate god damn it yeah i don't know what causes the overheating effect though
because dab sweats are like notorious and it it's i think it must just be that many cannabinoids
hitting your body at that time.
It's just no human was meant to consume that much.
My theory is that you are hitting your lungs with with it's either the hot air or or specifically that hot kind of vapor.
And you're having a reaction to that because your body thinks that maybe it's damaged its lungs.
And it's like
having an involuntary sort of reaction of some kind i think it's that which is a little alarming
if you think about it i don't know i say that because i've never had that overheating melting
down reaction after taking in marijuana in any other way yeah you know what i mean and and i've
gotten a lot of it in a lot
of different ways but yeah that was the first time i ever did dabs and i was immediately like holy
shit how because we done such a tiny speck of this shit right it was like what the fuck we got a whole
jar now now you're looking at it like oh my god my God. That's Jerry. Go. That's got to be two grams.
Yeah, it made like a gram and a half or so.
I don't really remember exactly, but it was like a significant amount.
And man, I was like, that's how you do weed.
And look, I wanted to get high because I love getting out of my mind high
and then playing an adventure video game or a role-playing video game.
Because I want to slay the dragon.
For real. Or a board game. Anything.
You can zone out.
I'm getting super duper
baked to play Tarkov because
it's so like, you're sitting there
clicking for hours. You're fucking out.
Woody, the new hideout is
tremendous. I don't know if you've seen
the level 3 shooting range,
but it has a mini game built in where it pops up targets everywhere at random
while three targets slide around at different distances,
and you're timed and scored, and you're like ping, ping, ping, ping, ping.
Did you get anything for it?
No, I think it's just practice.
I think it trains skill.
It does train skill.
It trains your shooting skills
and stuff i didn't know and then there's also a gym now and i've seen a lot of people that build
the gym and break their arm i got the full you break your arm in the gym it's just like gta so
in gta they had this concept and you you have like a hexagon on your screen and then a larger
hexagon is shrinking toward it and you have to click stop while it's within like the margins of the the
one that was stationary gta has the exact same game it's how you like work out in there and
it's hard to like do it perfectly but yeah if you really bug it up you you break your arm but then
like healing your arm also gives you like skill right so like everything's a plus no matter how
it goes yeah they added a lot of stuff to this wipe. I'm just loving it so much.
I took a full wipe off,
and this one got me back with a vengeance.
I can't get away from it.
I'm just playing 10, 12 hours when I have the time.
I wanted to play Darktide, kind of missed that.
No, we're going back to Darktide, I promise.
I believe in that.
It worked on their last game for years,
so it's a good
track record.
Some stuff changed, not to go into the whole thing, but they got bought by
a Chinese company.
Oh, I didn't know that. Maybe the track
record doesn't mean as much as it could have.
It's saddening.
Probably
it's not everyone's. This Kevin mccarthy stuff has been entertaining me
to no end if people don't know u.s government has three branches one is divided in two the house of
reps is one of those cool the first thing that they have to do even to get sworn in is choose
a speaker of the house that's the name of the leader for the house of representatives and it's been nancy pelosi for the democrats and before that i think paul ryan for
the republicans in any case there isn't one right now kevin mccarthy tried to get it when paul ryan
ran but kevin mccarthy is a below average speaker and know, he got up on the news and said the Benghazi investigations, which is fake and designed to make Hillary look bad for a presidential run.
And everyone is like, we can't have this fucking artist as our leader.
So he lost.
And Paul Ryan became the leader.
Well, now it's his turn.
It's his turn.
The trouble is the Republicans have a very small majority.
And the Democrats are voting
for a Democrat as they would traditionally do.
The Republicans are voting for a couple of different Republicans.
He needs 218 votes.
And I think he keeps getting like 201 and like 20 Republicans are voting
against him.
One vote goes to Donald Trump.
A couple go to another guy like Donaldson or something like that.
Summer jokes.
In any case,
they've held this vote to choose their speaker 11 times now.
And the Republican has come in second to the Democrat all 11 times.
He hasn't won a single time yet.
He has moved into the speaker's office,
presuming.
Oh,
no.
Yeah. Matt Gates is up there like, we need to
evict this guy. He's a squatter in the
Speaker's office, which apparently is pretty
dope.
They're like,
why did they allow him to move into
this job? He's
not going to win. He definitely doesn't want him
to be there. Matt Gates is against him.
The government is pretty much not functioning right now. We can't approve
any spending. Go ahead. I saw
a photo today, I guess, of them
arguing over this.
And
AOC is in the background
laughing. Oh, the Dems love this shit.
That's the only way
you're going to get me to care about this shit if you bring her you bring her sexy ass into the phone you can pay attention now
yeah the democrat ted lu who's a another democrat i think he's from hawaii but i'm not positive
he's photographed like bringing popcorn to the store to the thing so he can watch and laugh at
the republicans because they can't seem to agree
upon a leader what happened is this and this may be my bias coming through but on the republican
side in particular there's an affection or um what's it called an affinity for leaders who
just like are a molotov cocktail that you're throwing into washington dc you might describe
donald trump that way matt gates that way, Matt Gaetz that way,
Lauren Boebert, Marjorie Taylor Greene.
These are all people who are, I'll call them independent thinkers.
Radicals.
Radicals, just throwing a Molotov cocktail into D.C.
Well, now there's at least 20 of them who won't fall in line
and who would rather have a non-functioning government
than Kevin McCarthy as Speaker of the house and it's we're
watching it play out this hasn't happened for 100 years for 100 years the first vote has always been
what they needed to get their guy and well good i like it i i just you know what you know what's
going to happen uh it's going to affect us on our day-to-day life because of this nothing
it won't matter it will not matter to us in the slightest whether they work this out tomorrow
or not till next fucking year we won't notice it's still going yeah 11 they still don't have a guy
i for me this is as impactful as two youtubers beefing with each other. I like watching it.
I agree with that.
I guess in theory, eventually it'll be a problem.
Did you see that Dylan Danis snubbed, what's his name?
The black boxing guy.
PSI.
PSI. Yeah. what's his name? The black boxing guy. KSI. KSI, yeah.
I literally thought you were making up names doing it.
The first one I did as well.
No, no, no.
An actual YouTube drama I'll go to now.
So here's what happened.
KSI, huge YouTuber, streamer, everything.
Also, an accomplished boxer, making tons doing that.
Has this fight, had this fight coming up against Dylan Danis,
a big jiu-jitsu guy back in the day, kind of palled around with Conor McGregor,
made a name for himself in MMA a little bit, but he's a bit of a joke there.
He got fucking 10-8-ed by Errol Hawane on his own show recently.
Like, he goes on the show, Errol tries goes on the show. Ariel tries to shake his hand.
He won't shake his hand.
Ariel called him a liar and a bitch to his face.
Made fun of his fake teeth to his face.
It was Dylan Dennis?
It was a 10-8.
Fucking Ariel on Dylan Dennis.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In the interview, he was like, I'll take fucking, I don't know what he said,
but like 8,000 fucking to one odds that Dylan Dennis doesn't even fight.
It's not even a real fight.
This is a fraud.
Sure enough, he pulls out 14 days before the fight or something like that,
and his reason is like he's unprepared.
They're like, why are you pulling out?
I'm not.
I'm unprepared.
I don't have a coach.
I haven't been training.
I'm not ready.
He was never intending to fight.
It was a fucking scam just for clout.
Meanwhile, KSI is over there like out an opponent. They go to some other YouTuber. intending to fight it was a fucking scam just for clout oh and uh you know meanwhile ksi's over
there like out an opponent they go to some other youtuber i i feel bad that i don't know the good
youtuber who stepped up and was like yeah i'll fight ksi who was a ferocious individual by the
way nobody wants to fight ksi he will fuck your shit yeah yeah this other guy's no other he's a
very good boxer in the YouTube world.
He's the guy.
He is the YouTube boxer.
Like Jake Paul or Logan.
He's the guy who beat Logan.
Obviously, different classes of people.
What were you saying, Josh?
I was just going to say, the thing about YouTube boxers is if you have enough time, which YouTubers do,
and have enough unnecessary resources,
which YouTubers do,
you're probably
going to be good at whatever you put yourself at so like with paul and them it's like they're they
have the resources to be good they might just not have that dog in them that's where it all comes
down to i mean jake is jake is a legitimate tough guy jake paul's a dog in him he's a ksi does as
well yeah so i ksi tied logan paul in the first fight i personally thought logan won but it was KSI does as well. KSI tied Logan Paul
in the first fight. I personally
thought Logan won, but it was so close
I didn't object to the draw. I thought KSI
won. Okay. Yeah. And I
think a reasonable person could go either way.
And I didn't watch. In the second one,
KSI only won
because Jake Paul hit him
when he was down. I think he took a knee
and Jake Paul just kept hitting him. His frowned upon. Lost some points only won because like jake paul hit him when he was down like i think he took a knee and jake paul
just kept hitting him his frowned upon lost some points and that's how and jake i'm sorry ksi won
on points because he got fouled so am i saying j i'm sorry it's logan paul i'm saying this all
wrong logan paul lost on points because he fouled him and it's one of those things where like
street fight rules he kicked his ass he had him down he had him down and he wasled him. And it's one of those things where, like, street fight rules.
He kicked his ass.
He had him down.
He had him down, and he was hitting him, and he was wide open.
But boxing rules, he lost points because of it.
Even boxing rules.
Like, a boxing fan, I imagine, just like an MMA fan,
would see, like, a clean knockout of a guy as a much more impressive victory
than like, man, that guy was neck and neck.
And then he took a penalty.
Thank God.
And that bumped him over the top.
Like no one's that blown away by that.
No one's like, yeah, it was a huge win for Paul over chaos or whatever order
it went in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I agree with what you're saying, but to play devil's advocate,
when the score gets posted and the memory fades four years later ksi
beat logan paul yeah true that seems like a good thing for logan or because they're both youtubers
they both love to box they've probably done like multiple bouts now right yeah but dude anyway uh
the guy pulled out super scummy move uh he's known to be a scummy guy like the whole thing
was intentional.
He accepted the fight knowing he wasn't going to take it,
and he rode the fight hype train to increase his own clout.
Man, if y'all don't watch Ariel Helwani,
now that his ESPN contract is over and he's doing Showtime or whatever it is, I might have that a little mixed up, but I think that's it.
He's cursing. He's saying whatever the fuck
he wants. He's calling everybody
out. He's eating everybody's fucking lunch.
Nobody takes somebody
down better within six hours
of them stepping out of line than Ariel
fucking Hawane. He will murder
you. It is so good.
To your face,
the Dylan Dennis interview is just funny
like like he wouldn't shake his hand and like at the beginning he's like you're not gonna shake my
hand you're really not gonna shake my hand that's a bitch move and saying this to a professional
fighter like jujitsu champion badass motherfucker as far as like you know normal things go all the fighters say ariel hawani is like dirty he's a liar he creates
news by talking shit all i never see it and whenever he gets called out he's able to articulate
his point in such a way that he seems like he's right like man why is he so universally despised
and seemingly always in the right how is this happening but that's what's
that's how i see it maybe there's stuff he's done that's wrong that i haven't seen i don't want to
like come off as an aerial apologist if he's some bad guy and i don't know it but to my eyes all
i've ever seen was him not getting a fair shake from dana white because i think he like released
some like unreleased information a long time ago about a fight that was
going to happen. He's like,
oh, it turns out Brock's going to fight for the belt
or whatever he leaked. Dana
didn't like that. Since then, he's been
banned from
coming there and doing his fucking job.
He's not at the events, Taylor. The
biggest journalist in MMA is banned
from the events. He's not allowed to
go. He's not allowed to be there
at the press conferences.
It's weird. He lives in America, right?
He's the biggest one.
His show is called
the MMA Hour.
It's called the MMA Hour, and he's not
allowed to go.
Every time there's a big card
coming out, every fighter
on the card will be on his show the week leading up to it.
All of them.
The main event guys.
So he's Joe Rogan adjacent, basically.
Yes, they all know each other.
Oh, and he despises...
He called out Brendan Shaw, and he's so nitty-gritty with his details.
It feels like that time Donald Trump had done his research when he was sharp.
When he had all the
Clinton accusers showing up to the fucking
pressers.
One need a broad on the stage.
Yeah, Ariel Helwani's diabolical.
It's good stuff.
I highly recommend people watching
some of that stuff. That's what I like about modern
sports.
I watch sports
in the 80s and 90s. All you did is
see the game and maybe a post-game
interview right and in hockey sometimes they interview guys between periods and that's it
now now they're like on youtube they're they're dropping twitter videos they're beefing with each
other on instagram there's so much more to see if you're a stats and stories guy like me oh i know
what i was going to say.
Like when he went after Brennan, I think Brennan Schaub said something about him.
And then Ariel went back at him.
And then Brennan Schaub was like, why do you keep coming at me?
And Schaub, he has this rant.
His rants are 30 minutes long, though, when he tears somebody apart.
And he's like, yeah, I'm coming at you.
I'm not going to stop because I owe you a couple and if you're
smart you'll just keep my name out of your fucking mouth because i'm gonna say whatever i want
whenever i want about you not just you this is ariel hawani saying this to brendan shaw he's like
and i'm gonna say it about you and i'm gonna say it about that bitch callan that works with you
and i'm gonna say that bitch noah over there that does your crypto shit in the background
and that motherfucker mike on the camera.
He knows the unnamed interns
in the background.
He's like all of them.
Juanita, your maid, you think you can turn on her?
And he's cursing the
whole time. He's like, little
Bill with the gimpy leg and suck
my dick. Your uncle Mike
can get it up the ass.
Your fucking
priest, Pastor Phil,
suck my dick too. Balls in your ass.
He's just going
off on them. It's fun.
I like seeing him do it
because every time he does it, he has
a goddamn... He's got sources
and a bibliography and a witness
or two with him too.
He's literally pulling up screenshots of text messages.
He's like, oh, they said that?
Well, here's my text messages.
See, he's lying right here.
Here's another lie he's telling.
Boo.
Just folding you through his lies.
Is that guy, you said he hated Brendan Chobb.
He's not even a fighter, right?
Not anymore.
Not anymore.
He was a heavyweight fighter.
He doesn't even fight anymore.
He's a heavyweight fighter slash Joe Rogan's friend.
But he's not relevant in the MMA world, right?
He is incredibly relevant.
He is a big part of the MMA iceberg, if you will.
He has his own MMA show.
He has a large podcast with Callum that's sort of MMA-based.
It's very MMA-based.
Is he liked? Is he not well-liked?
He is rather despised by a very vigorous group of individuals.
There's a subreddit for the fighter and kid.
And over there, if you start reading some of the posts,
you might think that somebody fell on their keyboard.
You might not understand their language because they got their own.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You might be trogging to a... Trogging the way to the chilies dog yeah you might be trogging along and
not understanding what you're talking about over there you know everyone's taking truck logs
i'm not lost i'm lost let me tell you what's up because because what happened was brendan shaw
a married man was asking this um sort of pod mma comedy podcast adjacent young lady who's got a show of her own with a couple other ladies.
Yo, will you walk me to my truck?
And she's wanting him to go in the parking lot.
He's trying to get this chick to go suck his dick in the parking lot.
And so she goes on her show and she's like, yeah, there's this guy.
She goes on her show and she's like,
yeah, there's this guy.
I don't want to get into specifics, but he's like an ex-MMA fighting
podcast host.
He's a big, dumb Mexican.
His name is
just a big galoot.
And
he was trying to
get me to walk him to his
truck to, I don't know,
work some stuff out in the front seat i guess and
this is a married man just so again not being specific she calls him out right and so now like
like those people have have like made that part of the mythos and the way they talk brennan shob
trips over certain words and he and he says certain words in a very particular kind of way
so they mimic that and they
incorporate that into every sentence
that they write sometimes.
So you'll have to read it phonetically and try
to hear his voice to understand what's being said.
Does he have an accent?
They call it Shabanese.
He doesn't have an accent.
He just talks like a minor boy.
He has CTE.
So that causes an accent.
There was this time, I think, and i might butcher this a little bit i think he challenged some people to like a sprint
and uh and like he faked an injury to get out of his bed in the sprint and he said he blew out both
quads i'm glad you laughed. Because you play sport.
You know.
You know.
Let me say this.
How'd you blow both out, buddy?
Were you jumping?
Were you leaping?
He was dunking.
You never blow both out.
And blowing one out is an incredible injury.
It's traumatic.
It's a huge fucking deal.
He had an NFL guy on his show later on.
After he told the lie and gotten through it and everything and got welched on his bet, he had an NFL guy on his show later on after he told the lie and gotten through it and everything and got welched on his bet.
He had an NFL guy on
and he was like, yeah.
And this guy's talking about being a fucking
gridiron warrior for real.
Playing in the fucking NFL or whatever.
And he's like, yeah, I blew out both my squads.
Both my quads. And this guy goes,
what? He kind of makes a little face.
Like a little, huh?
You could tell it caught him, but he didn't to call brennan did you owe someone money because otherwise
taylor asked if brennan schwab is relevant or if he's liked i would say people love to hate him
right people hate watch that guy pay attention to him and he's nickelback okay yeah yeah well
but that's like in
the world of fighting it seems like that's that's not even a bad position to be in because it's like
it's almost understood their hat there are like heels right it's better than irrelevant but it's
no fun i think he would he wishes people liked him and he's trying but oh my one little slip and
oh so they're not most people aren't what you mean is like most people aren't even like eating him the tongue in cheek he wants to be loved and he's hated that's
the situation what i've learned he wants to be relevant serious he wants to be thought of as a
comedian and a journalist he wants to be joe rogan he wants to be joe rogan so goddamn bad
um his comedy special is called what the last gringo or the or the something like that
gringo poppy it is it has been mocked and ridiculed by every comedian you've ever who's
ever spoken about it it's kind of like a running joke that it's the worst one ever made like like
and it's also a running joke that look how did it get made right like like like how did he get
that special like like like what
strings are being pulled for him etc and like with like netflix like a real company i mean no
show it's with showtime and the second one was youtube yeah it was a show i mean those are real
companies taylor it is humiliatingly bad it's pretty bad i don't think it wouldn't pass it's I watch a lot of comedy you couldn't get that act
at any
comedy place I go to
here in Atlanta
you would not be able to get on there
that place I went to see Josh Blewett
you wouldn't be able to get on stage
the least funny guy there that night
was hilarious
everybody makes you laugh
that's going on stage can you guys
at a big comedy club like josh can you compare him to a comedian for me like is there another
comedian you could compare him to that's not an open mic or probably not because it's a lot of
like hey i'm dating a latina girl haha isn't that funny and it's like where's the joke in that like
he just didn't include punchlines
people don't realize how important the punchline is
nobody knows
he tries to do some race humor
it's the crux of it
he tries to do some race humor
and he pantomimes a little bit
hey any black people in the house
any black people
no no like Mexican jokes he tries to fall into that sort of like,
well, look, look, it...
Because I'd be like, you know how I am, man.
I'm a U.S. fighter, and I also go in a bug ass, you know?
Is that what he's like?
What he needs to do is do what Mike Tyson does.
Have you ever seen Mike Tyson's one-man show on HBO?
Yes.
When he's telling those stories, and he's sweating profusely,
like toweling himself off as he tells a
powerful story he tells his story taylor it is art i love it i like mike tyson mike tyson's one
man show he this is when he was chubby he's he's this is before his most recent fights and stuff
like like this he's he's not at his best it looked like he needed the money and that's why he was
doing these shows and it's what revived his career in my opinion i think that's what did it he is on that mic on the stage like
powerfully like laying this thing down he's telling great stories and he's funny mike tyson is not a
comedian but he is funny because he's likable and he's telling you about a funny thing that happened
and his viewpoint on that funny thing is funny and because he's being you about a funny thing that happened. And his viewpoint on that funny thing is funny.
And because he's being honest about his viewpoint,
it comes off as genuine and real.
And you're like, oh, man, that's how Mike sees things.
That's hilarious.
It is the opposite of everything Brendan Shaw is.
It is the opposite.
Everything he has is like this contrived.
He's trying so hard. trying so inorganic yeah
i'm in a bizarre world because i saw brandon schwab tell a story of him losing a fight
his first one was okay his first special is funny his first special is genuinely there's okay it's
rough don't get me wrong he's a new comedian so like it's not polished but it's kind of funny this fucking last one i was just like
what are you okay well in any case the man the man has his uh has uh
enough on his plate logging people to the drugs and stuff yeah i was internet likes to manipulate
recently and like you can see it in subreddits like with wings all those people
you know dsp there's so many lol cows that the internet is now taking it an extra step farther
with and making devoted subreddits and devoted kiwi farm posts and devoted 4chan this that and
the other thing oh if not full discords and then they're now getting so dark and deep with it that
they're finding people that are you know retarded onarded on TikTok or people that are like level one or two autistics.
And they're manipulating the entire wizard.
Yeah.
Into like saying fucking wild shit.
And it's just like, I remember when Internet trolling was kind of funny.
Not let's ruin a mentally disabled person's life.
Yeah.
Internet trolling should be funny. You shouldn't be getting someone
fired or destroying their life
or causing problems for them at home.
That's not trolling.
That's just harassing someone.
Have y'all seen This Place Rules on HBO?
I have not.
What's it about?
This Place Rules is Andrew Callahan?
Oh, you mentioned Channel 5.
Channel 5 News, formerly All Gas, No Breaks.
It's his documentary around the 2020 election
is sort of where it's framed around that whole time period.
Him traveling the country, going to rallies,
going to events and stuff.
Damn, striking while the iron's hot.
Well, I mean, you know, it's been made through the whole...
Anyway.
Why are you being mean?
It's about the beginning of 2020 and the end of 2019.
No!
It's like 2023.
It's about the January 6th thing.
How did my camera end up over there?
I feel like it worked on itself.
January 6th of what year?
What do you mean, of what year?
No, I was just establishing it was three years ago.
Was it already?
It's really good.
It's really good.
It is bizarre in its own sort of hectic kind of way,
but I don't know.
I definitely saw a lot of footage that I hadn't seen before,
and I just like him. I like his show.
He is a funny guy.
Does he...
And he always gets good interviews.
He's just a bit of a goo-goo.
I feel like it's going over there for some reason.
You want to turn it the other way.
I know.
Because now your head is behind code PKA on lock and load.
Which, honestly, Zach, that graphic should say Code Jizz
as well.
Perfect.
No, I like that show a lot.
It's on HBO. I'll say this, though.
If you watch it,
you're going to be very confused when it begins.
I was so confused.
I thought I had begun this thing in the middle
somewhere, because it begins
without an introduction at all.
He doesn't say my name is this and that.
And this is this.
It begins with like this guy who has Joker tattoos on his face.
And he's like a,
an,
an Instagram guy.
And he's going to fight another Instagram guy over their porn star girlfriend,
and it's all kind of for clout.
And you stay with them for like 10 fucking minutes.
And I was about to turn this shit off.
And then they literally have a boxing match, and one of them gets knocked down,
and then it starts cutting to cool footage of the election and donald trump saying stuff and there's a little montage and then he comes in
and and a guy asked him he's like so why did you start it with you know joker face and and easy
money and their whole fight he's like you know i i feel like it's it's very similar to you know
the election how it's fight and i was it didn't make any sense to me that's
the weirdest part of the whole thing it made no sense but it's like a is he he's telling like a
disjointed narrative joke where it's like you pick something that isn't at all no it wasn't
the thing and then plays i i think he thought it was good storytelling but um it wasn't great
that's my that's one of my major complaints but i i did
like dude when he goes to the q anon family it's it's the one where the the guy shows the chipotle
logo and he says that this is the the sign of a boy lover and uh and what is the chipotle logo
it's a chili pepper because the the boy lover logo is like isn't it like a a triangle or a heart like in
itself oh it is kind of like a little upside down triangle yeah you can find those on the fbi side
like uh no no that's what it is a triangle well maybe he had a point on that that little part
maybe no it doesn't look like a pepper chip no don't well we'll maybe get up maybe chili pepper
logos not chipotle's per se can sometimes be interpreted
that way however the rest of its nonsense and what was great was this is the guy who had the
brainwashed wife and kids who were like going along with his q anon like theories and stuff
and afterwards after january 6th after months go by and cute and the Q and non thing like fizzles out and everybody
realizes it was bullshit. He goes back and he has dinner with those people. And he interviews that
same little kid sitting in front of the mom and dad again. And the kid goes, yeah, I think, you
know, my dad felt really silly when he realized that Q was, you know, just making all that stuff
up and it was all real and none of it was real. And, you know, we all wasted our time, you know just making all that stuff up and it was all real and none of it was real and you know
we all wasted our time you know just worrying about it so much and you know i was homeschooled
throughout all of that and so we're you know we didn't have any friends and the mom is going
like nodding along it's and the dad sits there and like eats his fucking crow he sits there while his 10 or 12
year old son is like yeah i think my dad really got confused and misled by some some stuff online
and he led us all astray into the queue stuff and really wasted a lot of his time and his dad
is just sitting there like man that's you summed it up well son you really you really summed it up well and concisely thank you son
i mean if that's like a band-aid boy do it right if that's i mean honestly if that's the response
of the dad then he's more respectable than most people because it is a lot it is infinitely harder
to convince someone they've been fooled than it is to fool someone he ate and so if he actually
came to the had to come to Jesus moment and was like,
yeah, I got hoodwinked a bit.
Like that's way more than most people can say.
That's also where they,
and that was in Atlanta.
And then they go a few blocks over
and it's where they burnt down the Wendy's
after that guy was shot.
And that's when they interviewed
those four black guys and they're like,
it was actually a Caucasian female
burnt down that windows yeah
hell undoubtedly true by the way yeah it was a white woman who they were there
i believe them i believe them 100 they said they saw it happen and then the other guy goes yeah
for real i fucks with that faux faux faux they were like we would i believe all we know for sure is that that guy didn't do it
look there was a man who was there and he said a white woman did and and look i picture this taylor
there's like there's a riot there's some antifa people there somebody's gonna throw a molotov
who's gonna be the one who's got enough like privilege enough balls to throw the first molotov who's gonna
throw that first stone but a white woman damn they're always ask dana white ask dana white
white woman will cut first thing first thing yeah
all those videos of those fucking white women throwing molotovs
always always absolutely zach show me pictures of white women throwing Molotovs. Always, always.
Zach, show me pictures of
white women throwing Molotovs.
And after that,
show me the Speaker of the House's office.
I thought I mimed that well enough earlier,
but I didn't. And then show us the old Speaker of the House's
tits.
I would like to see Miss Pelosi's
milkers. I would like to see
Christiana Hendricks or whatever
you pronounce her name. No, you know what? Dealer's
choice. Nancy Pelosi, Christina Hendricks
or Ben Shapiro's sister. It's your choice.
But big tips.
Also the cell phone lady.
He can't bring Abby to the quiz.
Actually not Ben Shapiro's sister. She didn't do anything
to deserve any of this.
But she's the only one that's
like trying to seemingly like trying to do her own thing online to deserve any of this. But she's the only one that's seemingly
trying to do her own thing online
and not get messed with.
What is this?
Look at this. That's the one with the molotov.
Boom. Kyle is a million
percent vindicated. I am happy to admit
defeat. When I'm confronted with
information that proves me wrong, I'm happy to
come around.
Eat your crow like that man who believed that chili...
I'm eating that crow just like the man who believed that Chipotle
was not only making delicious burritos, but they were
shoving up the children's asses.
Yep, that's right.
Man, that would be devastating if I learned
Chipotle was a child raping.
I'd have to be like,
damn, how much did I support this?
Look at Chipotle all along.
Wow, the only photo with no frontal no no look how suggestive
it is just this is with the with the washington monument in the background on phallic and look
i bet she's got a left kitty out of one of those uh those milker shirts that they give the ladies
what do you call those do you think she's wearing panties is it no no way no way yeah maternity
shirt thank you woody yeah yeah you know whenever i see like offices and like dc and stuff they No, no way. Yeah, maternity shirt. Thank you, Woody. Yeah.
You know, whenever I see offices in D.C. and stuff,
they really just look out of date to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, Dave Chappelle...
Dave Chappelle's like, they complain about
Trump doing some stuff that wasn't so bad.
God damn!
I can't even...
Thank you, Jack.
Honestly, this should be a part of the show
who wants to look at our mugs the whole time we just go zach your new job is just to find
big breasted women we're gonna look at my we're gonna look at a a montage of my favorite uh women
from sci-fi and fantasy films. So first show me
Jolene Blaylock. Work on
that. That'll be the next one.
And then after that, show me
from Lord of the Rings. I want to
see Liv Tyler. I want to see Liv Tyler.
But I want to see some behind the scenes
stuff.
What are you talking about?
Because I'm super into Liv Tyler.
Because I'm super into Liv Tyler. Because I'm super into Liv Tyler.
Fuck yeah, I am.
When she's got those ears.
Oh my fucking God.
Poor Abby Shapiro just trying to do whatever she does
because her sister's Ben Shapiro.
Only fans or am I crazy?
There is nothing.
She definitely doesn't.
This is a very attractive lady.
I mean, Ben Shapiro is an Orthodox Jew,
so I assume she's an Orthodox Jew also, and OnlyFans.
What gave it away?
That's kosher.
Well, what gave it away was her brother being, like, the most pro-Israel man on Earth 24-7. Oh, I meant from the...
See, Jolene Blalock's the one in the back, though, buddy.
I know you're trying hard, but she's the one covered up by that average-looking woman.
That small-breasted woman with the buck teeth, she's blocking the hottie.
All right?
So I want to see Jolene Blalock, but I don't want to see her in Star Trek, per se.
I just want to see, like...
Get your head in the game, man.
Yeah.
Like, don't show me Christina Hendricks from that show, 10 Star.
They had her in, like, a button-up fucking flannel.
Like, nobody wants to see that shit.
I want to see the shower scene.
But I bet that flannel struggled.
Oh.
Had fucking steel buttons.
Flannel's a hardy material.
Like, what's better?
Corduroy?
That's a tough material.
I think denim is the
hardiest of of fabrics if you ask and the most utilitarian you can wear jeans anywhere
job interviews funerals you know anywhere you don't care what people think you can wear
i've been to funerals that had the that worn. It's a little unseemly.
That's pretty trashy.
You shouldn't wear jeans at a funeral.
You can't slap on some fucking khakis.
I saw jeans at a funeral.
I mean, at a wedding.
That's almost as bad as shorts at a wedding.
Was it a biker wedding?
No, it was a Jeremy wedding.
Oh, Jeremy got a house.
Jeremy got a house.
It's a little bit of a struggle
though because like apparently they had so many of those like low income bastard white trash babies
that they were getting like a lot of government money like for each one to live in like whatever
housing they were in before um so now because they're like taking on a mortgage all that money's
cut off plus you know i don't know what a mortgage is, $1,500.
I think theirs is roughly.
So it just seems like a big struggle for him.
But I'm sure he's a smart guy, so I'm sure he calculated all that.
They lost the money because they bought a house?
Yeah, I believe that it was housing funding
because they were living in a certain kind of housing.
But if you move on up,
like now, maybe you don't get that
housing fund. I'm sure they're getting plenty of money
per kid for various other
programs, but maybe that one
program in particular is
no more. I don't even know how many they've had
at this point.
Idiocracy is coming, folks. I promise
you. I promise you.
How many do you think?
Six, seven, eight?
I don't know.
It's like they're Catholic.
In their litter?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm kidding.
I don't know how many there are.
I think it's two or three or four.
What's the most amount of children that, in your view, is acceptable if you are not Amish or farming?
So here's my answer. If you are not Amish or like farming. I think so.
So here's my answer.
I think you can have one child per $150,000 a year of combined house income.
And anything more is probably not a great idea.
And I'm talking about modern to modern money, right?
Like you go back 10, 20, 30 years.
It's less, right?
Well, it's the opposite of that.
The poorest people have the
most kids what i'm saying is if you have more children a year per kid roughly yeah i think that
if you exceed that then you have done something that is inappropriate i think that you have been
selfish i think that you are a cat lady i think most people don't ever make $150,000 a year.
Then you shouldn't have kids.
Oh, wait, I'm sorry.
Combined housing income.
One kid per $100,000 combined housing income.
That's what you get.
That seems fair to me.
I think that's reasonable.
Most people don't make $100,000 household income.
That's way above average.
Really?
Most people don't combine? No. Then household income. That's way above. Really? Most people don't combine?
No.
Then they don't get to have a kid?
Then they're clearly not ready to have a kid, are they?
You think the average household income is $100,000?
That's not what I asked.
I said, do you think they're ready to have a kid if their combined housing income isn't $100,000 yet?
Definitely.
Yeah, there are some people who are.
They're ready?
Yeah.
They're financially ready.
They're financially prepared.
Financially, they'll never be as ready as they should be,
but that's kind of the consequence of a fucked up system
where they don't have the opportunity to make as much as they should.
Well, we're not changing the system here, Taylor.
We're not rewriting the code.
We're not going to live under socialism
and get that baby all of its shots fat of magic money.
You've got $100,000 per kid.
That kid's going to...
You know how much diapers fucking cost?
I don't, and I don't ever want to fucking know.
All right?
You know how much shots cost?
I want to agree with Kyle.
I don't know.
People say kids are expensive.
I didn't think kids were expensive at all.
Right?
Like diapers?
Diapers cost fucking slightly more than nothing.
If you can't afford diapers, you can't afford children baby clothes now this is old is like 20 years ago
i was fucking shocked how cheap baby clothes are if i buy a pair of pants they're like 40 bucks
you can get a whole goddamn sailor costume for your little boy for like nine dollars they always make a big deal out of it
they always make a big deal
a fucking onesie is like 75 cents
and that's what fucking babies wear all the goddamn time
babies are cheap as fuck
if you can't afford formula
diapers and some onesies
get your shit together
you're not even holding down a McDonald's job
okay Woody is is 100 right there
if you can't afford to feed and clothe your child get it together
it's the size of like a bag of potatoes like
where the equation changes if you have a sick kid that's expensive as fuck but yeah normal kids i'm
not saying we should uh we should we should like make it a law against it or anything we should punish those people but but you should know that you know if
you haven't achieved that if you don't have that and and there's other ways of achieving that rather
than um you know having a traditional sort of household where that's you and your wife live
here and you combine for a hundred thousand you could live at home with your mother and have like a three generational household if your mother's okay with that and a lot would be i bet
there's tons of of like um parents out there who would love for the third for the grandchildren to
be on the same roof and and like if that's your case and everybody's like kumbaya on that then
like do it that sounds that's also that might
commonplace that might make more sense to me that's more normal than what we do like yeah most
countries like arab countries italy like that's more stable and more loving like like having the
grandmother there to to be like oh whoa whoa don't hold the baby like that like she's already raised
babies i don't know have
it seems like having someone who's done all that stuff there um to help you out and like the
financial security of like the couple and like that other generation there's presumably this
place just about paid off you know we got three generations under the roof but you know what i'm
getting at like that sounds sound you're just like a piece of shit grandpa who's like in that and you like
get a third mortgage like after you're about to die sorry everyone grandpa wanted grandpa wanted
to get his dick wet and big shit to the great beyond i want to be i want to be buried in a gold coffin
so I'm liquidating everything
I'm going to be
You can't take it with you
In my will I requested
that none of you go to college
I paid off all your favorite
universities to never take you
Ever Because you're a bunch of losers I paid off all your favorite universities to never take you. Ever.
Because you were a bunch of losers.
And you always will be, thanks to your grandpa.
And you always will never measure up to what I was.
So, yeah, I don't know.
That just makes sense to me.
I've given that no thought.
I just made that up sitting here.
But, like, 100,000 a kid seems fair.
Like, look, if I were planning on it. isn't that fun when you do that on the show when
like you start a conversation and you're like i don't think people should be able to have kids
unless they make a hundred grand a kid and then suddenly you have to now defend this point as
though you're like you know what oh actually it's like something that we just made up.
So that's how real debate works.
In a real debate, you show up and they're like, all right, you will be arguing.
Yeah, it's true.
You will be arguing pro.
Pro, N-word.
Parents being disallowed to have more than one children per 100,000 a year gross income
under penalty of law.
You are pro that point.
You are against that point.
And it doesn't matter how you personally feel.
You have to argue the point.
That's how real debate works, right?
So like, I don't know,
having a little improvisation
and like falling into a conversation like that's
just a fun little mental exercise, right?
So-
When we argue about any politics or debate worthy thing,
we should always have to debate the
opposite side because that's the only true way to discern what i've been doing here for a decade
yes and it's what i do intermittently when it's when it's funny you know
depending on what other people's positions are i form my own opinion yeah i've made fun of my
giant and tiny dick throughout the years.
Whatever's funnier at the moment.
Whatever the moment says.
That's the way it always goes.
It's the nature of a shitty, stupid podcast.
We got Patreon questions, Zach?
Yeah, we'll fire those through.
Let's see if they're good.
Let's see if they're good.
We'll see.
You know what?
I watched... So, Kyle, that movie Vice's see if they're good. Let's see if they're good. We'll see. You know what I watched?
So, Kyle, that movie Vice that you said was pretty good with Christian Bale,
it has him pretending to be as Dick Cheney.
I haven't seen that movie.
I think what I said was his portrayal of Dick Cheney was excellent.
Oh, I misunderstood. I probably wouldn't have rented it if I didn't think that you recommended it. think what i said was his portrayal of dick cheney was excellent oh oh i misunderstood i probably
wouldn't have rented it if i didn't think that you recommended it because it was not a kyle pick
it yeah that was not a kyle pick so it doesn't sell you the kyle pick i've still got la confidential
in my living room tremendous pick love that movie but you watched this movie i did watch it i loved
it good vice broke no i watched it like right away when you sent it to me i thought la confidential is fucking sick but this movie vice have you guys noticed this trend that seems to be more new in films
where if it is even vaguely complicated like if there's anything to do they will have like
like they did i think in wolf of wall street too the worst part of wolf of wall street well
they'll have like cutaways where someone starts explaining to
you how things work.
Yeah. And they have this shit in Vice
where it's like fucking
Christian Bale killing
it. Killing it
in his role. And he
will just be carrying the story
and everything's moving forward
and they'll say something retarded
about like how bills are
passed and then there's a four minute expose where some retard cheap matt damon who i don't even
dislike the guy from breaking bad who kills that kid like he starts being like the way that bills
are passed is blah blah blah blah and then this has to happen and something people don't know and like just little aside like like
retard level like like of course they're fucking netflix shows that they're like
fucking hollywood shows so they got their little fucking lib opinions in there they they talk about
how bad the republicans are with the bad music and then obama comes on screen and they literally
have like jubilation music and it's like i'm not even mad about that i just am like
don't fucking treat me like a retard like let the movie tell the story and let me ascertain what i
will from the film don't go to something very basic and it's like and and dick cheney really
didn't get along with donald rumsfeld and then someone goes on the side and is like hey in films
now we don't do subtext i'm gonna exposition my way through this because the side and is like, hey, in films now, we don't do subtext.
I'm going to exposition my way through this because the director and the writers have such little respect for the viewer that they think that you can't even begin to understand this.
Yeah, directors and the writers were forced to make those decisions.
You know it.
I would hope so, because you'd have to be a real fucking retard to think that that shit is not jarring.
It actively takes you out of the film.
It takes you out of feeling that things are at stake.
It reminds you that people are playing a part,
that they are acting.
Stop it.
Stop it.
If you're too fucking stupid to follow a basic-ass movie,
then turn it off.
This shit is not complicated.
Stop having these fucking asides in movies.
I want to be able to watch all my movies
while also surfing Reddit,
and it takes a little expose to help me keep up.
I can play Age of Empires
while I'm watching this shit.
Because that's how fucking easy it is.
I'm playing an in-depth
RTS game with fucking
60 movements a minute.
I'm working
an economy. I'm working a military. I'm attacking
four enemies at once, and I'm going,
speed it up, idiots!
At the TV. I fucking hate it i i absolutely
i i'm so peeved by this trend it is the worst though like opinions and and context needs to
be fed that heavily to your average consumer yeah that was that was not a kyle pick but but um i i
did see it i did see this what i saw was um i watch a lot of YouTube channels that will break down a single scene from something to explain like acting or writing or whatever it may be. there discussing how the presidency and vice presidency would share power should dick agree
to to take on the the the job and he's like you know and the vice president doesn't have any power
and then you know he's sort of like he's really carefully manipulating george bush and and and
and into uh into getting exactly what he wants and And what he wanted eventually turned out,
just so we're all clear,
I know some of y'all might be a little young,
they set it up so they started a war
with a country for no reason.
And the same people who were blowing the country up
were rebuilding it.
So Dick Cheney's company, Halliburton,
they rebuild countries after you blow countries up. Dick Cheney's other company,iburton, they rebuild countries after you blow countries up.
Dick Cheney's other company, the U.S. fucking Air Force, they blow countries up.
So it was this perfect cycle with $1 trillion floating right in the middle.
And it went on for, I don't know, presidency or something.
Yeah, the old military industrial complex.
It made so much money that Obama didn't stop.
Good guy Obama
strolled in there with his tan
suit and was like, this is terrible.
Wait, how much money?
No, you put
too many zeros on there.
You're not understanding
how much money we're making
he had to ask twice if the amount of zeros were right when they said one trillion like they kept
they kept that fucking shit going for a long not the halliburton thing and the and the and the and
the no uh the no bid contracts per se but you know the war went on based on that scene i understand why you thought like
it could be good yeah and like every time christian bale is on screen tremendous yeah i'm
biased because he's like my favorite actor i fucking love christian bale i think he's really
good he's awesome like maybe walking phoenix is winning me over i'm a big walking phoenix i like
him too he's he's got a new movie coming. He's got a new thing coming out that looks
ridiculous. What is it?
Pull it up. It interested
me a ton today, but I didn't have time to read it
because I was trying to get my hideout
built up. Is it Joker 2?
No, no, no. That's a musical
he's doing with Lady Gaga.
That's going to be really interesting.
They're going to make Joker 2
a fucking musical. Yeah, I like musicals like i loved um what was the one uh sweeney todd i
fucking love sweeney todd with johnny depp and uh that hot ass bellatrix lestrange shit
uh uh lady what's the real actress's name's escaping me right now um but the the one who
plays bellatrix lestrange in the harry movies. I think she's super hot. She was also
in Fight Club.
She is in all the Tim Burton movies.
She's like a
methed out Elaine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Helena Bonham Carter, that's her name. That's who it is.
I'm glad methed out Elaine got you there.
Yeah, it did. It really did.
It really did.
I gotta call him Chief Damon. Taylorlor i need to get you on board his
name is fat damon you know who fat damon's married to no uh anybody no no kirsten dunst
kirsten dunst his co-star in um that uh that netflix movie about the gay cowboys that uh
that everybody got all twisted up about. Brokeback Mountain.
I never saw that.
No,
no,
no,
no.
A new cow.
It's a new gay cowboy movie.
It's something,
uh,
something of the dog mountain of the dog day of the dog,
something about a dog.
It's really about how the,
Oh,
no,
what it's really about is how like they're in this Valley and the,
and the mountains shadow makes,
it looks like a dog on it.
It doesn't matter,
but,
but what it's got fat Damon in it,
it's got Kirsten dunst in it
and it's got uh dr strange uh he's in there what um cumberbatch or whatever his name is
i think fat damon fat damon may be a better i'm not a hundred percent oh wait no no no
zach is mistaken he's saying matt damon's wife is that person. No, no. Fat Damon. Yeah. Fat Damon is...
A.K.A. Meth Damon.
I'm going out on a limb.
Fat Damon is a better actor
than real Matt Damon.
What?
Absolutely. What is a role
that Matt Damon absolutely killed it in?
Other than the fucking...
Good Will Hunting.
Other than Good Will Hunting.
The Bourne movies. he's good in those.
He shows a lot of, he has range.
He shows emotion. The Martian. He goes from
angsty guy who's in a... Oh, The Martian is so good.
He goes from angsty guy in a hurry
to angsty guy in a bigger hurry
throughout the entire Bourne series.
The Martian, you didn't like that?
No, no, I thought The Martian was actually great. You're disproving my point.
I really, I liked it.
I withdraw.
Thank you, buddy. I withdraw. Zach, delete this part.
Yeah, Matt Damon's a pretty good actor.
Ford versus Ferrari was pretty good, I thought.
I didn't see that.
Actually, isn't he insane?
Christian Bale steals it.
He's insane in Private Ryan.
Okay, I'm wrong.
He's Private Ryan. Yeah, you'm wrong. He's Private Ryan.
Yeah, you're right.
Okay, that was a stupid take.
It's that meme.
It's that meme where he's going,
and he's rocking back and forth.
All right, all right.
Zach deleted part of the show.
No one needs to hear that.
Matt Damon, very strong actor as well,
specifically in that. It's just the strong actor as well. Specifically in that...
It's just the black hole that has Ben Affleck
next to him sometimes.
He must be the leading part of it.
Because I will never back down on that. Ben Affleck is a terrible
actor. He takes me out of all the scenes he's in.
He's terrible. I don't like him.
I want to come up with a good Ben Affleck movie.
You can't.
Ben Affleck does the town.
Ben Affleck does a good job.
He's terrible in it.
The town is good.
Jeremy Renner steals the fucking show.
But he's good in it nonetheless.
I think he's good in the town.
And the town is a very, very good Boston gangster movie about bank robbers.
And it's machine guns in the street, shooting cops, wearing masks,
like the kind of bank robbers who would go in and shit with full force. It's machine guns in the street, shooting cops, wearing masks, like the kind of bank robbers who would go in and shit with full force.
It's good.
It reminds me of Heat, but obviously not as good as Heat
because nothing is as good as Heat.
When they teach special forces guys how to do combat reloads,
you know what they show them?
You think they show them a video of some special forces motherfucker
being like, my name's Delta Force Commando Peteete and this is how you do a combat reload no they show him val kilmer
in heat reloading his m4 while he's laying the fucking law down in the streets of la or wherever
they are i don't remember where it was based heat is a great bank robber movie it might be the best
bank robber movie yeah it is it's amazing heat's good best bank robber movie. Yeah, it is. It's amazing.
It's good.
Best bank robber content is our jewelry thief guest who couldn't explain how to fucking rob a jewelry store.
Wait, what?
We had this guy, Larry Lauten, who was like a master jewel thief.
He was tied up with a mob a little bit.
I think connected. He did prison time and uh his youtube videos are very good he tells good stories
there because i think he he gets his his son to help him like frame up the story and maybe edit
some of the like slower paced stuff out but as a guest he had a hard time focusing and and following
along and because i asked him a very simple question i like you know
how do you rob a jewelry store and he talked for 10 minutes and i was like so how do you rob a
jewelry store for like five minutes and i was like so how do you rob a jewelry store and he
talked for 10 more seconds and i was like stop stop i still know how to rob a fucking jewelry
store and i don't think we're getting anywhere getting there anytime soon man it was one of those is it a secret it was one of those shows where there it was like a roller coaster
where in the beginning i was excited for his stories and then it became clear that he had
no conception or ability even if he wanted to tell those stories in a in a concise way
and then it started going down i'm like oh no and then once like he started really
frustrating kyle actively and woody i was like this is way back on the ups again and it started
going back up because like you can see you can see in real time as kyle is getting is Kyle's very patient with guests and he absolutely loses his patience
because here's what happens he starts first he he starts waxing philosophical out of nowhere
when he's supposed to be he's still supposed to be telling me how to rob the jewelry store but
he starts he starts talking about how the gen the generational gap and how this current generation is so good with their technology.
And how they can program their phones right from their pockets.
This is what he's doing.
I think that programming is downloading Twitter.
This fucking boomer starts bragging about how his daughter's generation
they can program a phone like that and i'm thinking like yeah dude because we've had like
eight of the sons of bitches like and it just says next
and he starts like waxing philosophical about that and i'm just like dude dude dude dude dude tell me about your tell me about mikey the nose and how he'd get you the fucking codes to the safe
tell me about how like one time the guy wouldn't give you the fucking like like key and you
fucking punched him and tell me how it hurt your hand tell me how as much as nose bled tell me his
eyes watered up and he told you what you wanted to know tell me he was fucking tough and you got scared of him but you couldn't show it like tell me
something make it off who was your driver give me anything ego because i asked him if he ever
lost a fight he couldn't come up with a single instance in which he ever wasn't the most alpha
person he'd met oh gosh i imagine everybody loses fights in jail or prison if you're there long.
Like, he was in prison.
Like, you're there long enough, you have to be losing a fight
unless you're, like, Mr. Pop.
I don't think everybody gets in a fight.
I think it's random.
No, but he was, like, gang affiliated.
So, like, he was in the mix, right?
Was he?
I didn't think so.
I thought he was, like, friendly with.
If I remember correctly, he was just kind of doing his own thing in there.
He mostly talks about cooking in there
and how there was some rough stuff going down,
but I don't remember him being gang-affiliated,
but it's been a while.
I probably made that up.
That's an example of...
I probably made it cooler in my memory.
To be fair to Larry,
he's an older gentleman who's lived a very long life.
If he has a hard time
bringing a story together, lickety-split
for us young folks, then maybe that's our problem.
Maybe we need to be
a little bit more patient. Also,
Taylor's a very slim man who could beat the
shit out of him.
Larry better step aside
rather than be talking any shit to
Taylor. I forgot about that. I was going to defend
Larry's old ass. Maybe Jim for
generations, this and that. He's talked shit
toward the end of the show. He can get
fucked up.
That's what will happen to Larry.
You'll do nothing.
You'll do nothing.
We'll fucking
three-way tag team
you all night long.
You and two more ex-cons
of similar age to you. tag team you all night long. Like you and two more ex-cons of civil
age to you.
Don't get some
young fuck.
Don't get some prison.
I'm going to fuck up all the biggest
hitters from Prohibition.
This guy, Tony
Tequila Rodriguez was crazy.
That's White Lightning Murphy.
That's White Lightning Murphy.
He could run a 40 in nine seconds.
He was the fastest white man in the NFL.
He was great before we let those athletes into the game.
What happened to Jeremy Renner?
I don't know who that is.
He played a whole guy, I think, and he got hit by a snowcat.
Yeah.
All right, so here's the story.
Sneak up on him?
What the fuck?
My interpretation is that they were doing something maybe a little bit silly,
and there was a couple guys there,
so maybe they're saying the story one way
that doesn't quite make a ton of sense
so that nobody's culpable,
but one way or another,
an unattended snowcat rolled over Jeremy Renner,
and he may lose his foot.
He's alive.
He's going to live.
His post was like,
I'm still alive, bitch,
and his face is a little beaten up,
but no worse than a bad UFC fight.
Not even quite that bad, maybe. Did he have
blunt force trauma to his chest, or am I
conflating him and the football
player? I don't know about
that. All I know is what I read was he
might lose the foot.
Is that the second snowmobile accident in a week?
Renner underwent two
surgeries the next day after suffering
blunt chest
trauma and orthopedic injuries
the actor's snow plow was
a piston bully or snow
cat an extremely large piece of snow
removal equipment weighing at least 14,000
pounds
yeah and I guess in his
foot too I don't know but he got pretty
fucked up and I guess he was
ICU for a while so yeah it can get hurt you want a you. I see you for a while. So,
get hurt.
You want a Kyle pic for this week?
Yes.
Here's the movie.
It's called Digstown.
Digstown, okay?
What it's about, somebody runs them out.
D-I-G-S.
Just like your favorite word.
Bigger. 2Gs. Just like your favorite word. Bigger.
Bigger.
So it's about this guy who runs his mouth in a small town and makes a bet.
And I believe the bet goes something like this.
I know a guy who could whip any 10 men in this town.
He says, I could beat any 10 men in this town.
Any 10 of them.
Line them up one after another. I could whip their asses.
And he gets in this silly bet and
I think they alter the bet.
He comes and he says, alright, how about
this? The slick-talking
guy who's the James Woods character.
I think they alter it to
I've got a guy who will fight for
me. Who will fight any 10 men
who live in this county.
In the county of Diggstown or whatever it in this county in the county of digs town or whatever
it is or in the town of it and they said and it's some of right it's a large amount of money like
it's 50 000 100 000 and small time small town money in the 90s and uh the thing is he knows
an ex-boxer a guy who woulda coulda shoulda been like a heavyweight contender he knows this guy he's played by louis um lewis
gossett jr um really good actor and he goes and digs this guy up and this guy's old even in the
movie he's old he's like late 40s 50s maybe and he's like he's like look you gotta beat up a bunch
of farm boys and and a couple of high school jocks okay it's digs town all right it's a population of 3200 and he's all right i can
maybe i could do this but it's i think it's i think it is 10 it's 10 or maybe even 12 in a
and like they i think they negotiated out so that maybe it's even over the course of two nights or
something there's they're really specific about how much time between each fight and everything
and he's going through him he's fucking destroying one after another because some of them
are like you said cop like high school jocks who don't know what they're doing every because some
of them are giving them up they're giving them varied amounts of trouble right some one of them's
a real tough fucker so he's like pumping right yeah because he's like a pro and these guys yeah and uh the problem is inside the county of digstown is a state prison
oh this seems like a cool movie don't tell me anyway don't tell me yeah so it's a 30 year old
movie it's a 30 year old movie i've only seen it once my memory of this movie was that it thoroughly
entertained me when i watched it but at the the time, I was 15 years old.
So 15-year-old Kyle highly recommends it.
It's Kyle Pick for the week.
Digs town.
I'll watch it.
This movie's a year younger than me.
Like, that's how fucking old this movie is.
There you go.
All right.
You sure you don't want to see Avatar?
Like, it's kind of a bad question.
Nah, I will once again
be re-watching King of the Hill.
Watch Louis Gossett Jr.
I will stick to my autistic eyes.
Is Louis Gossett Jr. alive?
He's certainly dead by now.
Five bucks says he's dead.
Five bucks says I misspelled his name.
Louis Gossett Jr.
He is
alive. 86 years
young.
86 years young.
Good for Louis.
He's got it, Junior.
6'4".
Big people die sooner.
I was going to say, tall people die quicker.
Yeah, but blacks don't crack.
And he also, 6'4".
6'4", isn't it at that point where you start getting
goofy shit when you're old like 6'8
that's a difference
big boy big man so josh where
can everybody find everything
strain central uh youtube at
strain central uh twitch strain
gaming that's pretty much my main two currently
i want to see you test some of the uh
some of our sponsored products sometime we should
get some of those if you haven't tried them already. I am more than
down. Once they get more stock
in Death by Gummy Bears, I'm going to have them
send you a bunch.
I think they'll blow your socks off.
We find them to be incredibly potent.
That would be very appreciated.
We are daily cannabis
users and these will fuck you up.
That's the show.
PKA 629.