Painkiller Already - PKA 643 W/ Dick & Harley: Woody’s New Channel, Harley’s Mental Exam, Froggy Fresh Drama

Episode Date: April 15, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:00 PKA 643, our guest Dick, and soon to come Harley, I think, Taylor. This episode of PKA brought to you by Lock and Load, RealDBG.com, and Freeze Pipe. A great way to... I almost said a bad word in the first few seconds. A great way to ejaculate more. And I almost slipped up. That was way too much racism before the show, boys.
Starting point is 00:00:21 I told you. Man. Plantations were built with that kind of racism. i let it flow out of me kyle lets it flow like a broken dam and i like it's his true i'm sort of like you know those southern uh um churches where the person stands up and starts speaking in tongues the lord is speaking through them i like that, but it's not the Lord. It's just a really bitter old man. Yeah, he starts speaking in tongues. Carol Burnett. It's Carol Burnett. You're like, let me tell you
Starting point is 00:00:52 something about the Polacks, too. Oh, you can say anything about the Poles. They are always taking strays. And direct hits. They have a very powerful ally now in that, that seven foot tall boxer. Tyson Fury? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Fuck him. Fuck him. I'd fuck him up. He's a pussy. I dare him to do anything to me that would allow me to get money. I dare him to do anything he wants to do. Tyson Fury can't hurt me over the internet. I dare him to take his big strong arms and do anything to me.
Starting point is 00:01:26 That's a real boxer that you're talking about, right? Not like Harley, who's coming on as a fake boxer. Is he? Is the feud still strong? What's the difference between a fake boxer and a real boxer? A fake one says, I'm doing this for charity over and over and over until people stop making fun of them. A real boxer just fights for entertainment value.
Starting point is 00:01:47 Oh, I can't wait for you guys to bitch at each other. This is going to be great. So what I want to get a, a totally unbiased take because out of respect for your guys bickering, I refuse to learn even a cursory bit about what you're arguing about. Fill me in before that liar. Harley.
Starting point is 00:02:09 That fucking liar. oh man who's just lying non-stop um i don't know don't you guys hate e-celebrities is it just me or you guys i fucking hate e-celebrities aren't we one no we're we're all self-hating no you guys are okay you guys are okay but don't you fucking hate other uh no i don't what this cringe clash thing that the boxing thing that they're doing uh is that what it's really called cringe clash i think so uh they kicked a boxer off because either he's friends with sam hyde or he made a joke about i dubbbz's Fat Wife's OnlyFans account. Mm-hmm. So they kicked him off
Starting point is 00:02:49 three weeks away from doing the event for what seemed like the most harmless thing or the most petty. What did he say? Can you repeat it? I only heard the Sam Hyde part. He was trash-talking his opponent and he said if he lost, he would subscribe to Anissa's
Starting point is 00:03:05 OnlyFans, which obviously is a joke. No one would subscribe to that OnlyFans. Not even as a loss. Does she have an OnlyFans? Yes. What's her name again? Anissa? Anissa? And I
Starting point is 00:03:21 keep saying over and over that he's cool with it, but if that's why Froggy got kicked off the thing, he's obviously not cool with it. Well, there's no way you're going to find her OnlyFans. Couldn't you know what she looks like? So when you found it, you wouldn't recognize her. You know what I mean? She looks like the she looks like half Persian, half Mexican, but the worst from both races. That's what you look like. Yeah, she looks like me. She looks like you oh yeah see look awful ugly uh the tats are bad too uh this is the boxing promoting e-couple huh yeah noodle arm fucking
Starting point is 00:03:57 noodle arm noodle boy over there so this guy froggy so this guy froggy was talking shit online and the impetus was he trained with Sam Hyde or he just didn't even train with him or did he just mention Sam Hyde? He met up with Sam. He like did a little training or something. I don't know. The guy called into my show last week. We can probably take these innocent people's photo off.
Starting point is 00:04:18 They're not innocent. Those are the fucking biggest jerks of all. So that's why that's what pissed me off. That's what pissed me off that's what pissed me off with harley fucking uh fucking the the remaining men together i cut cut dubs and his uh fat wife um so i'm glad you're keeping this professional not going even i don't call her fat man she is fucking a hard guy with fat people he will tell you if you are slightly you gotta see the only fans though woody she's keeping it in in some kind of a corset in in that picture
Starting point is 00:04:52 pretty representative of what she looks like fat there's not a lot unless it's photoshop but she i mean she's in her underwear basically yeah she doesn't show her pussy and you're happy about it on her only fans you're like oh thank god she's not showing her pussy don't you tell me what i want it's pretty lame in an only fans you should probably go for a living nap well that's ridiculous so this guy was training for a boxing match and then three weeks before they just go you're out so you met up with sam hyde and we won't associate with anything even tangentially related to Sam Hyde. So fuck you. Yeah, which is fucked because
Starting point is 00:05:27 I mean, I've never trained for a boxing fight, but it's like running every day, which is already worse than hell. Running like a teenager and then all this sparring and shit. It's really fucked up.
Starting point is 00:05:44 It's fucked up to just say so they fucking so they kicked him off and then they're like um well you're actually he's trying to steal from charity by not giving us his training money back it's like what are you guys talking about you totally fucked this guy over so then harley's dumb ass comes in and goes well actually they're totally within their legal rights that's in the contract for his behavior. I'm like, are you guys like, the guy who put on this event is famous because he said the N-word and the F-slur
Starting point is 00:06:12 over and over again. What the fuck are you morons talking about? You're just a bunch of has-beens dancing around and acting like men to make money. I'm catching some strays here. What are you talking about contract like go fuck yourself now i remember why i was so pissed dude i was laughing like i i saw you and harley because i follow both you on twitter like sniping at each other and i was laughing one part that i laughed out loud at was harley saying something
Starting point is 00:06:43 like you know they're allowed, you saying contract reminded me, he was like, you know, they are allowed to legally do this with the contract. They're pretty boilerplate. And then you responded like, boilerplate, this isn't real boxing. This is made up. None of this is boilerplate. They can throw anything in there they want. Like boilerplate boxing contracts?
Starting point is 00:07:03 What are you talking about? It's retarded. It's boilerplate that like a guy you talking about it's retarded it's a boilerplate that like a guy can't meet with sam hyde before the boxing event oh yeah that's typical boilerplate you know sam goes in a lot of mass school shootings so we don't want we don't want sam hyde bringing uh bringing his bad energy and bad reputation to our gay boxing event i don't understand so so was the issue that he had any contact with sam hyde at all because i know all right to draw a parallel that i also don't agree with on twitch if somebody's been banned and you have them come on your stream like you're streaming fucking mario
Starting point is 00:07:36 brothers this dude got banned he's a zelda player he thought he'd come over give you a little insight but he got banned because he showed some dick root or something. Now you're in big trouble because you just gave him a platform, right? And even if you're just like, oh, look, look, Zelda dude's calling. Hey, Zelda dude, I'm on stream on Twitch. What do you think? Let him know. Yo, Zelda dude here got my dick root out. You're in trouble again.
Starting point is 00:07:58 You just gave him that platform for a third time with his little dick root. You can't do it. That being said, I really don't like that Sam Hyde becomes Persona Non Grata from time to time with his little dick root. You can't do it. That being said, I really don't like that Sam Hyde becomes persona non grata from time to time because his whole thing is how stupid people are and how the normies, as he might call them, just don't get the fucking deal.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Why is he the bad guy in their eyes, though? What are they afraid? What stain would Sam Hyde leave upon them that they are so afraid of? Because, I don't know, we all rub shoulders with weird people on the fucking internet. Sam Hyde doesn't seem that bad to me. Maybe I'm just not educated. Well, he's like the patron saint of comedy boxing, too, so why the fuck would he be there? Right? Sam Hyde basically invented this event that fucking Noodle Man, iDubbbz, is pretending is his.
Starting point is 00:08:44 How is that true? Did Sam Hyde do any boxing? Yeah, Sam Hyde's been doing, you know how he goes like this? It looks like all red. That's pretty much it, Woody. That's like inventing.
Starting point is 00:08:58 That's 85%. That's 85%. That's inventing it. I actually have did this I did this in the mirror at 11 years old Not that That's like bodybuilding Like weight training
Starting point is 00:09:15 Boxing like this Boxing not weightlifting Yeah I'm not being heard i gotta think lamborghini not ferrari my mistake what was out of the way i was well that's well it's gonna it's gonna take a lot for harley to convince me now that i've gotten the facts now that i've got the facts on my side have the facts no way yes we do just gave us the facts this guy on the card said something mean about his boss essentially i dubs and got fired boss uh i don't think that's kind of what's up no well no
Starting point is 00:09:54 he trained with sam hyden sir and you can't have any association with him so now they don't he doesn't get to compete in the boxing thing and he's already been training and getting ready and preparing and now they're like hey you actually owe us that money that we gave you to train and prepare and everything. And if you don't give it back, then that's tantamount to stealing from charity. Because that's what we're all about here. We're about a charity. We're all making a little, of course, a little. But this is a charity, first and foremost.
Starting point is 00:10:19 And if you make us still stand by our agreement and pay you for your training, well, I mean, I guess we could take it out of our own pockets or out of the part of the profits that were going to go to us, but we're not. We're taking them right out of the children's mouths. Actually, we already donated that. We're giving them cancer, actually. We're going for it.
Starting point is 00:10:36 We're taking that little spin. All of it's coming back. That's what they're saying. That's the issue. One of the handfuls of powdered graphite on the playground. I think that we're dealing with here, which seems pretty silly. I guess a lot of people don't want to be associated with Sam Hyde on the internet, though. I don't understand why. He's a funny guy.
Starting point is 00:10:51 I don't either. I mean, I love Sam Hyde. No, I'll tell you why. Because iDubbbz tried to do a documentary on Sam, like a Sam fell from the grave. You know that one? We had Sam come on and talk all about it. That's why iDubbbz hates him. Because he made him look like such a fucking jackass like the way i dubs was simping for sam's pretend girlfriend like
Starting point is 00:11:10 we gotta get you out of here when sam falls asleep when sam falls asleep you put your hair out the window and i'll climb up and save you my beautiful princess and then they're like yeah that's fake man like she's just acting like that. Dude, that was the peak of that episode to me. I don't think – I'm not saying Sam Hyde isn't funny, only that his comedy doesn't work on me. I'll admit he's popular. Everyone likes him. He's thriving.
Starting point is 00:11:36 He's successful. But not everyone's going to be beautiful to everyone. Not everyone's going to be funny to everyone. To me, really the only funny part was when i-dubs tried to rescue the girlfriend the pile of dead wasps or at least the dead wasps the ball bearings smokey handles crypto for me like like hey we're gonna have i-dubs think that we typically exist in a messy room i'm like yes yeah it's a it's a it was unbelievably messy it was a gross there was an armed guard by the door dude when they went earlier think
Starting point is 00:12:13 lamborghini not ferrari that's what i was referencing he's got that slingshot piece of shit and idubbbz has never driven a stick shift so he's fucking it up he's like nah i gotta think lamborghini not ferrari or something like that he's giving us such unhelpful advice he's had to put on like a big dance like i'd have to put on this whole boxing event so he could feel like a man again which is like a wedding for him like i could i i lost but i worked out and i fought a man so now i can have my balls back after sam i took them uh he's just so but like he canceled all of Sam's front row seats he's got such a petty grudge against him and that's why I think he banned Froggy uh because Froggy hung out with Sam and I don't think it was that throwaway comment about
Starting point is 00:12:57 like he was joking about joining Anissa's OnlyFans if he it seems more like a Sam Hyde thing and that documentary like I thought the whole thing was hysterical like it was it was great and he made iDubbbz look like a fucking retard like he made he made him look like a smug trying to pull one over on someone retard and meanwhile
Starting point is 00:13:18 he's having something pulled over on him but Sam is doing it in a way that's like humorous and there doesn't feel like there's an angle at it like at the end when he does that big reveal he literally is like wait so you're that wasn't your girlfriend he's like you think i'm dating a fucking heroin addict are you retarded like like when he shuts it down so succinctly like that it's like you fool you absolute fool you were here to try and get dirt on me and then make me
Starting point is 00:13:46 look bad? No, no, no. Here's the tables have turned. And of course, iDubbbz doesn't like that because it makes him look stupid. I guarantee he doesn't want to be... Does iDubbbz look stupid to you? Oh, yeah. And everyone who saw that agreed he looked stupid. Let me say my piece, though.
Starting point is 00:14:02 I thought he looked stupid at the girlfriend part. We're in total lockstep like i get it other stuff like i dubs and sam hyde were gonna box and i remember sam hyde was encouraging i dubs to like try a little harder like don't worry you're not gonna hurt me and i dubs is like everything i give is gonna come back at me three times like i'm in a really difficult situation here, boxing this fucking monster of a man who's really comfortable boxing. Yeah, under a bridge. And to me, I-Dubs didn't look dumb.
Starting point is 00:14:34 What I did is I put myself in I-Dub's shoes. I'm like, Woody, what would you do if you were Sam Hyde? And he's like, go ahead, Woody. Go ahead. Show me your right cross. Show me what you got. Look at that. Look at that! Look at that! What is he supposed to
Starting point is 00:14:47 fucking do? This isn't real, is it? This is obviously a joke, right? We're not boxing under a fucking bridge. Sam Hyde looks like we'll put him at ease in a reliable, trustworthy way. No, he's fucked! He's supposed to know it's bullshit.
Starting point is 00:15:03 This is obviously a con i'm not think sam won't hit him you think if i dubs throws a punch where he tries right a nice 75 thinks he sees an opening throws the punch sam is gonna go oh i was hoping you'd do that it's a really tough spot to be in i mean maybe but like he's trying it is supposed to be so over the top stupid that by idubs taking it seriously and cataloging it he is making him appear foolish like i really think that a normal part of sam hyde's day is taking a bunch of weirdos under a bridge and fighting and the purpose of this like woody i don't think you like are fully like i dubs went there to to get like a documentary about sam hyde of like like that wasn't going to reflect well on him and so
Starting point is 00:15:50 don't think of it like he went there with good faith imagine that i come to your house woody and i'm like and you know i don't care for you and you know i have bad things to say about you and i'm going to put a video that i track of you and your life on my big channel. And I get to your house and you just fuck with me. And everything you do is fuck you. You think you're going to punk me? Fuck you. I'm going to make you like, you would be totally justified in doing that.
Starting point is 00:16:15 You would be totally justified in being like, yeah, what I like to do, Taylor, is go in the middle of the woods and then we naked wrestle. What? And then you put me in an uncomfortable situation and you go, ha ha, this fool who was trying to lampoon me is being lampooned.
Starting point is 00:16:27 So we're at lockstep there. The only thing I like, the only step the daylight in between us is when I looked at I dubs, I thought he saw it for what it was almost the entire time. He got them on the girlfriend. I think he was got him. But when he was boxing, he was like,
Starting point is 00:16:42 I see what we're doing here. When, when he was having other conversations, when he saw the he was like i see what we're doing here when when he was uh having other conversations when he saw the crypto stuff or whatever it was like i get it i get it you're playing me for a fool in so many the lamborghini versus ferrari thing he's like okay i see what you're doing you're offering you're pretending to offer advice but it's the most unhelpful advice you can think of i'm channeling my lamborghini like all right so like i dubs wasn't a fool i feel like he saw through all almost all of it not the girlfriend thing but he lost i mean he lost it just and he banned him
Starting point is 00:17:17 like why would he ban sam all this stuff from his events if he didn't feel humiliated you know what some of these people don't know how to lose like if you just if he just tipped the hat and be like you know what i went out there to get a documentary on him and he got a documentary on me and it was like if people are loving it you know what it's an l congratulations you got me get there what do you do if your eye dubs and you get there thinking you're gonna get that hit piece and then he starts using the fucking i don't know dimensional jujitsu on you where he's from another realm with with someone like honestly the advice you would give to like someone who's trying not to be punked is agree and amplify like exactly that's what you generally do but
Starting point is 00:18:04 with sam hyde he's gonna tell you what i would have done the boxing situation too like it's like playing gay chicken and you end up adopting children together yeah you're like well i always receive i hope that's okay with you have a good day at work homo like if he took me under that bridge and and was like he's like we're gonna learn. This represents everything in our lives. Once we do battle here, doing battle in the do battle in the boardroom is just going to be like second nature. You think you're going to be afraid of a merger after you've taken a right cross? I don't think so. I'm just not along wisely.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Yeah, yeah. Okay. But when do we put the blindfolds on, sir? We're going to need our blindfolds. You know, we don't need our eyes for where we're going. And he'd have to agree with that. If you tell him we don't need eyes to see where we're going, he'd be like. We don't need our eyes where we're going. And he'd have to agree with that. If you tell him we don't need eyes to see where we're going, he'd be like, you know what, you're right.
Starting point is 00:18:49 And we would be under their blindfolded boxing now. And then it would be funny. You've got to take his power away. And you take his silly power away. If he hasn't trained in the dark, you fool. He was born to it. That's why his eyes look like that. That is why it's hard for someone like Idubbbz
Starting point is 00:19:04 to get out of that situation though because with someone with sam hyde's profile like and his reputation it's like you're not gonna agree and amplify and laugh your way out of it he will find a new anchor point of discomfort and then work from there like that and it's funny and he's very good at that and i enjoy watching him do it and so like that whole like and i hadn't even thought about iDubbbz in many, many years since he was doing all the slur stuff, which I thought back in the day was funny.
Starting point is 00:19:29 Yeah, because that fat OnlyFans model stole his balls. That's why he can't do any of this one-upping stuff. Now he can't do his old video styles anymore? What does he do now other than box? Does he still make videos? You're going to make me look at her nudes again. Is she fat?
Starting point is 00:19:42 Don't look. I looked at her nudes once on accident and my dick never got hard again. Oh, my God. For free? That's stealing. Yeah, I should sue for that. But we don't have them this week.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Well, we'll tell you about it next week, though. But with all that in mind, that's where this, like, iDubbbz and his wife just took out this Sam shit on Froggy Fresh, who's just some singer who's training to do their dumb charity boxing thing. And then all of the other fucking boxing slash creators start defending that shit. And it annoyed me because I hate when celebrities protect each other's fragile egos and shitty decisions.
Starting point is 00:20:25 It's another Harvey Weinstein. It's exactly like Harvey Weinstein. Froggy got raped by Idub's wife and Harley's defending it. He's covering it up. Yep, Harley Weinstein. Harley Weinstein! Exactly!
Starting point is 00:20:40 Exactly! Exactly! If the names rhyme. If the names rhyme. If the names rhyme, he did the crime. And the criminal makes his way in. Feeding us an epic shit sandwich. What were you guys talking about?
Starting point is 00:21:00 Did I ruin it? Did I ruin it? It was perfect. It was perfect. It was perfect. Dick was just explaining to me that you're essentially Harvey Weinstein. And then we realized that your name, and we realized, Hey,
Starting point is 00:21:15 their night, their names rhyme. Ah, and, and, and I realized they had you then. So I was, that's,
Starting point is 00:21:21 they just now checkmated me and I could no longer defend you. Dude. Are doesn't rhyme Because as Taylor said, if the names rhyme He did the crime It's so true And then I popped in Yes, then you popped in Right as I made the Harley Weinstein joke So Dick has just been
Starting point is 00:21:43 Filling us with facts Getting us abreast on this whole situation and from what i can tell about this this boxing it seems absurd that poor sam hyde or i'm sorry poor froggy fresh just from his affiliation with sam hyde a little bit of training just like you did is getting the boot like is that this is that what happening? That doesn't seem fair to poor Froggy. Yeah, like, you know, it's been so interesting for me because I've known every person in real life, and I've never been in a scenario where I know everyone, and I do think iDubbbz is is cool and i do think sam is cool uh but it seems
Starting point is 00:22:28 like these days like i dubs just gets destroyed uh people are not team i dubs at all um and i'm like i like when everyone was jumping on the whole froggy fresh thing and they're like oh my god like i can't believe this happened they're like what do you think and i was like i mean realistically the best approach would to not be involved at all but i was like oh i think uh he talked he made a joke about the the creator who who contracted him so he got fired uh and ever since then i'm i'm the biggest only fan simp bitch homo idiot retard like i've been everywhere i have my dms are filled with nose emojis yeah i'm sorry about that you don't like those it is it is it's all witty
Starting point is 00:23:26 like a roman nose alright I don't like that I like the joke that was great but I don't like that your inbox is full of noses so I saw last time i was on with uh dick i remember i was like i was feeling myself my hair was blue i was like all was good and then i remember like uh i just felt like i came in here and my energy kind of leveled out to a specific place and i feel
Starting point is 00:24:03 like you know going into the fight maybe i should have that i was fighting all people on twitter and dick was like just i i hadn't seen you on twitter ever before and then you came out there and the energy was like i thought my energy was crazy and i was like whoa and then i went to your timeline i was like oh shit it's crazy but you know like i mean really it's the whole froggy thing i i really did i had like a whole opinion on it and i still do i have opinions on it but like i jumped in the subreddit and this is where it's really weird in my life is i went to the pka subreddit and i was like yeah i'm gonna be on i'll tell you guys all about it but you know what
Starting point is 00:24:42 exactly would he they were like hey ben we don't give a shit kill it at the show kill it on pka we don't we don't care actually you're good and that was 90 of the comments yeah and i was like damn i'm like i feel good mentally i feel good physically so that's a high point of my life but i should really stop and listen to the pka subreddit right now because they're absolutely they have they have more wisdom than i do right now they got their finger and i was like that's what i'm saying i actually was there and i was like i can't believe they're they're being logical here i'm not those people just don't care like you're just hearing from the people that give a fuck i don't like i
Starting point is 00:25:24 thought i i'm glad the situation's happening because it's been a treat watching you and dick fight for a while you haven't been going at it it's a better fight than any you'll see at creator clash right can we all agree on that it's very true it's free potentially i'm doing it for charity oh my that was actually the one thing i wanted to bring up, though, actually, to ask Dick about and ask you guys about. So, like, the fight is for charity. And my thing, I was like, it's for charity. It's a good thing. I know it didn't work.
Starting point is 00:25:55 And I was kind of like, it's for charity. And I saw you were like, it's not. Shut the fuck up about charity. You had said that on your Twitter. And I wanted your opinion more on that because not not like as if i have some argument that's a gotcha to that but yeah i always i always was curious about yeah anyways uh i think uh i think anisa could take a joke about her only fans for charity if it's for charity like it's it's cool that people are
Starting point is 00:26:23 going to put on a show for charity but then if they're going to act like assholes like that's not for charity uh that's my take on it so all the charity stuff that's cool but then they're like well yeah and we're going to fuck over this small creator for like a tiny slight which i think is more about sam hyde than only fans you can't say it definitely charged it it definitely charged it you know i'm not i'm i'm not a complete idiot and you know talking to sam talking to items i could tell that there's tension there so it's definitely super charged and i was under the impression that ian kind of told froggy that was just like hey i don't have the best relationship with that guy and uh froggy was essentially uh which is pretty gangster as hell he was like that sounds like a you problem um and i think so like that and then you add the thing on twitter maybe it all culminates
Starting point is 00:27:11 to a point and maybe there was other stuff behind the scenes but i was just kind of like you know optically it's a bad look optics wise because we're like you know everything you said yeah yeah the the thing that sort of sticks uh in the cross seems to be that i guess he had already received froggy had already received some initial payment for training or taking time off or something like that and they want that back yeah so you're salaried um to like i think it's 15 or 20 000 to to train with um so they give that to us and when i first got my contract i'm not allowed to talk about the contract but nobody that works creator clash will ever listen to pka like i see all the creators in it they don't they don't come here no one of them even once was like uh yo harley who is this guy he has me blocked on twitter
Starting point is 00:28:03 and i was like that's my boy taylor from pka oh damn nice it actually happened hey oh no hey i've just been linking those emoticons in the chat my dms are full of notifications from you sending me noses uh people send me that i'm sniffing too much on the show okay that i i get that meaning my behavior people are just like yeah maybe you slowed out on the coke buddy i was like when i was killing that i was not filming myself trust me i last thing i wanted to do was get in on the camera and be funny um but every time i go i get crazy or like you were saying though you get
Starting point is 00:28:46 15 or 20 grand wow for training and they want that back well so what happened this is what i can't talk about but i'm going to talk about it's the contract when i got it last year for creator clash i looked at it and i was like this is the worst contract i've ever got in in a like a social media scenario and i i brought it to my boxing coach and he was like that's a decent boxing contract that's how it works so you got a boxing contract for a boxing promotion looks like he's not treating you like a youtuber me a youtube legend you know how many views i had in 2012 and he's gonna give me this piece of shit paper so i i like my lawyer was like oh yeah that's a terrible contract you can't sign that you know because should i have trained for four months
Starting point is 00:29:31 and then hurt my thumb and can't fight or if my opponent hurt his thumb and he can't fight and we can't get in the ring and do it if we don't have if we don't complete it then i don't get the salary that I had for training. And that was a scenario I recognized and understood before I signed the contract, you know, like, I mean,
Starting point is 00:29:53 I, I, so you improved your contract. I, I didn't, I, I looked at it and I was like, I called up,
Starting point is 00:30:00 I was like, the other people signing this shit, like, and that guy from gang grumps has tens of millions of dollars in his pocket right now. He's signing this, this piece of paper. And I,
Starting point is 00:30:12 and I asked and he was like, yeah, they're all signing. And he was like, listen, I'm not going to do anything weird. And if you don't want to sign it, I get it.
Starting point is 00:30:19 And I was like, well, I want to be a part of it. So I signed what I thought was not a good contract because it heavily favored the promotion and that's something that's just a thing that's part of it in boxing and so i was you know i'm not a boxer i can't be like i demand this or that like you know i'm still not a boxer i'm gonna fucking play pretend on saturday yeah you know uh and so it's it's it's it was something that I was aware of. Well, that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Like, if you can't show, like, they're counting on you, but they're the ones that ended the relationship with him, I guess, over his relationship with Sam Hyde. So he's on the hook now. I wonder, it would matter to me to know how long he had that 15, 20 grand, let's call it, in his pocket slash bank account before they were like, ah, no, this isn't going to work. You talk to him, and he talks to her, and that ain't going to fly, and there's only fans, Fatty.
Starting point is 00:31:14 No good. You're out. Well, they fronted him before he started training. They fronted him like 15 grand of his $20,000 purse, and then when the Sam Hyde relationship came out, within 24 hours, he was booted. And they threatened to sue him for the money within 24 hours after that. And then somehow a bunch of the creators on the cards
Starting point is 00:31:37 were saying, well, Froggy's stealing that money from charity, basically. Somehow that word got out. Yeah, see, here's the thing it's interesting because you're like i wouldn't say that he's stealing from charity it's the way the sentences are made that changes the understanding of everything and so i agree with you because that's a weird and it was kind of put like that money is getting taken from charity uh no it's getting taken from the other fighter who would replace who even if they only had two weeks would still get the same because idubs gave everyone it's the
Starting point is 00:32:09 same thing can i ask what is the charity while we're talking about this thing let's do a small multiple multiple charities um i boxing for ms society there's the american heart association there's uh i'm fine with that There's anything with kids or dogs. There is an animal one. There is an animal. Anything for the Taliban. I only donate and give money to animals. Israeli defense budget.
Starting point is 00:32:39 Having a boxing match for all proceeds go to the IDF. Mama needs a new blue. I knew i should have read the fine print fuck i've now i have to fight in the israeli defense now i have to go to fly to tel aviv to serve my two years before the boxing with palestinians next month and this uh the the thing about the the the money that was given to him though like i wouldn't have said that's going from charter that's just the next fighter gets it but so what happened was he isn't fulfilling the contract and i believe from what i gather here because there's no lawyer i didn't see any lawyer's letter but any legal letter to me i for sure my it's stressful the your blood pressure goes up you're like oh fuck
Starting point is 00:33:27 i just got a legal document um and i think they wanted to maybe perhaps handle this a bit more casually but also you have to cover your bases otherwise you're exposed in in legal ways you know that i can't even think of because i'm not a lawyer uh but apparently they were like, yeah, so we're entitled to the 15,000 back because you didn't do your contract, but you can keep it. Please stop bashing the event, though, because also per the contract, you can't bash the event. So keep the 15K. But that's kind of like if you talk about us, motherfucker, we're coming for that money, bitch. Yeah, but they never. No, that's good. That's fine it is it's reasonable if you're used to a professional scenario 15 grand short hairs you can keep that cash if you just stop shitting on me and in social
Starting point is 00:34:19 media and and you would think that this is a boxer, right? Can he not shut his fucking mouth long enough to get the cash? He's a hilarious content creator. He's legendary. He was the person I was most excited to see fight at Creator Clash 2. When I found out he was boxing, I was like, this is crazy. But he's like a rapper. Like, I met him. He's super high energy, like, really, really.
Starting point is 00:34:42 I feel like they offered him an olive branch. Like, hey, you know what? Keep the money. Let's be friends. But he hasn't said anything bad. energy like really really i feel like they offered him an olive branch like hey you know what keep the money let's be friends but he hasn't said anything bad uh see that's what he did here's the thing here's the thing no no i was girlfriend but but to what dick is saying the joke isn't that bad in the sense that i don't think it's that bad i don't but this happened, the doors have kind of opened up to my mentions. And I've now seen the messages that she gets that's in this realm of humor. And I'm going to be a major hypocrite here because I watched Darkseid Phil streams that Darkseidil didn't upload or wing streams that he didn't
Starting point is 00:35:25 upload i go to the fighter and the kids subreddit and these are people that are targeted so i get exactly so i see that and then i sometimes i have this moment where i'm getting hated on in something and i'm like shit this entire community is fucking a cell dedicated to constantly doing this thing. I found out Anissa has that. I wonder what that's like. Well, so you know what? I'll tell you. I've seen it bad and I've had it bad.
Starting point is 00:35:54 I've seen other people have bad. I think when you're dealing with the type of people that do it and look, from my experience, it's just as a female doing only fans, the, the, the terror in the DMS is in the mentions is next level. I don't even know what the DMS are like, you know, I get crazy stuff in my DMS, but, um, so then I was just like, oh, now the joke reads weirder if I'm in her shoes. Cause this is a point of constant harassment for like over half a decade so that's when i become that's when i stop and i kind of become a human for a second i'm like shit i couldn't imagine doing that you know or having that all the time that type of energy um and i guess lastly what i wanted to say is your opinion on it all. Do you think Idubbbz is worse now than he was before?
Starting point is 00:36:49 Everyone's just like. I don't know. Hating on Idubbbz. I mean, Dick, what about you? He called his fans assholes. Like he did that interview where he said people would come up to me and say the N-word and like his catchphrase. and say the N-word and his catchphrase, and he said they're just a really... His fans were all a bunch of...
Starting point is 00:37:06 Or those ones were a shitty, toxic bunch of people. Can you approximate his catchphrase? I don't know it. Isn't that what he did? N-word F-slur. Just back-to-back? Just that's his thing? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Okay. It's got a real hook to it. Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to say it's a bad catchphrase, but it's the simple. Simple is good. Less is more. He's gone on like a weird crusade of attacking his own fan base
Starting point is 00:37:37 as though it shows his growth as a person, and it's rubbing a lot of people the wrong way. So it's like he got to where he was, and now he's pulling the ladder up after him. We're like, oh, I used this kind of humor. I did all this to get popular. But now I'm disavowing. That's how I see it.
Starting point is 00:37:52 People take it personally. Yeah. Well, sometimes to play the devil's advocate, you'll make a joke. You'll be like, yeah, look, conspiracy theory this week. Holocaust didn't happen. And then you start getting messages from people who are like, yeah know we're glad you're with us now we're glad you're on the inside and we're of one mind now it's like yeah i just thought that was a funny thing to say amplify i just thought it was a funny thing to say it's not in your dms you don't you're you're absolutely
Starting point is 00:38:17 right disciple number 47 i have many tasks for you like no no you gotta run i agree you'll say something up i bet when his he came up with the catchphrase n word f word he didn't mean it in incredibly hateful way but i bet he's had to deal with people who are like yes those are our main enemies the blank blank and like you know what i mean like i would i would wager i would wager more though that the people saying that at him are the people who watched him originally because of the shock value and the shock jock feel of it. Like, oh, he made someone uncomfortable by doing something wild and out there
Starting point is 00:38:55 and so unexpected. I'm going to be unexpected to him, too. He appreciates that kind of humor. That's what I could imagine. The same way that you see Anthony you see like anthony kumia or arty lang like they'll talk about doing ona or uh stern show and they'll be like kumia's still out there saying mfns all the time though he has not allowed himself to be changed by the world he has quadruped dude like his twitter got unbanned and like nothing has changed since 2014. Just race stuff.
Starting point is 00:39:28 And it's like, dude, it's 8 a.m. It is 8 a.m. And you're like this mad about black people. Like have a cup of coffee. Relax. Taylor. Taylor. Is it veiled dog whistle stuff no he just like
Starting point is 00:39:47 you know his like graphs dude he says mfn his he says mfn as what you think it means and he puts it right on the fucking timeline this is when he said this is anthony i haven't seen that one yet to be clear right i haven't seen that yet in fairness but i've seen him every every single twitter he's great no dude every like any crime across this whole country committed by a black person will be quote tweeted by anthony cumia in 45 seconds it's like to stay kind of on the topic dick what do you say to this idea that this gentleman was fronted the 15 grand, let's call it. He's not going to be fighting, but they're going to let him keep the money. Doesn't that sound fair to you as long as he can just stop trashing them and let them do their fight this weekend?
Starting point is 00:40:37 I mean, I think it's kind of predicated on this. I don't think he was trashing them though yeah if he stops talking about it they're like hey you're hurting our feelings okay that's great for him and I hope he does that
Starting point is 00:40:57 Froggy does that for me that makes me super pissed off because it's like leverage it's first of all getting your feelings hurt or taking out a petty grudge against sam hyde on this on this guy who put a lot of work into performing for your comedy event like a lot of pay and none of the pain yeah and he doesn't take that deal he doesn't get to come this is like anisa blue balling yet another guy by kicking by not letting him fight in his event. Pull up Mark Wahlberg. Go find an Asian in an alley.
Starting point is 00:41:26 Come on. You're in shape. Get out there. Have some fun. It annoys me to see people keep giving a no. Mark Wahlberg assaulted an Asian man while screaming slurs at him in an alleyway. He did. I've come twice since I found her Twitter. I don't know why you're saying
Starting point is 00:41:41 blue-balling. Marky Mark, not so nice. I feel like you're Sam hiding me right now with this nonsense. I swear to God, the funky bunch were there too, watching. I can prove it. Everything I said is like 93%
Starting point is 00:41:56 true. You'll find it with a quick Google search. No, if you ask me, Froggy got a really good deal because I bet he got in shape. I bet he learned a new skill because he probably wasn't much of a boxer before this i'm guessing um and uh he's gotten all this publicity he's gotten three quarters of his total money that he ever could have gotten and he didn't have to step in a ring shirtless and get hit by another man you could but i think he wanted the fighters uh equal split of 25 of the door to a certain amount and they're free to do what they want with that amount of money so you're salaried for the fight the training and then you are given this
Starting point is 00:42:38 capped amount that um derives right from the door the gate yeah exactly and and that's you want to walk that's capped the charities are not capped i know a lot of people were like oh my god this fucking jew never misses a payday no wonder he's back in creator clash he's getting the money at the like it's a capped amount and the amount is is less than half of an offer that i got from keemstar to box on his promotion. And I think a lot of the fire was fueled by Keemstar because he also runs another promotion. And, Woody, I know you're friends with Keemstar.
Starting point is 00:43:14 I'm not going to bash him. Super tight. Yeah, I'm not going to bash him on here. But I think what happened bad for me optically is I kind of got really excited. And Keemstar is one of the few people that get under my skin. You know, I'll talk to him offline even here and there, but it just bothers me.
Starting point is 00:43:32 And I kind of went in and I just sounded like a, like a shrill Jew mad about, mad about this event. And I was like, but it's for charity. And what I was like, you don't know froggy but you don't know can i talk maybe a little bit yeah i listened back i was like bro i've been i've been like on a caloric deficit for a year i'm not supposed to exist in cranky i feel better fat
Starting point is 00:44:01 i feel funnier and more jovial fat. And I'm like punching a bag. I'm not a guy that wants to punch stuff ever. And then I hear Keemstar gets mad, like gets me mad. And I jump on. I'm like, but that's not what's happening, though. But that's not what's happening. And then I listen to it back, and I'm like, ooh, I don't know if I should have gone on.
Starting point is 00:44:33 One of the guys on Sam's stream, Jet, he was like, yeah, maybe Harley should have gone for dinner instead of jumping into that twitter space and i he said that and i was like i can't go for dinner i can't i wish but i already ate my bowl of food that is the sustenance for the evening time there is no dinner i can't do it you know but uh yeah i think i got overexcited about it. And then people are like, wow, you have this crazy allegiance to Idubbs. And the truth is, I think Idubbs is great. My life changed over the last two years because of Idubbs and because of Sam. And so when all this shit's going down and Froggy does something like when he made the OnlyFans joke, I know enough of Sam and Ian and Anissa and the scenario and that like Froggy went down to Rhode Island that I was like oh shit it was a nothing joke it was nothing to me but I knew enough that I was like whoa because you know I'm not I'm not saying Sam was like you've got to make this joke he doesn't
Starting point is 00:45:18 do that he's not like a guy like but like he just it was he he if if I if I looked at it optically, I'd be like, oh, he tweeted at Hassan about 9-11 and then he tweeted and then he made a joke about the only fans. I'm like, so he's kind of I knew he was going to love it in Rhode Island. Yeah, I loved it there. I came back home and I was you guys don't get it, man. I really don't think he's a Nazi. He gave me his time. He's super hilarious. He's chill.
Starting point is 00:45:43 I got to like being his in his circle it was really he's really hilarious and they're like you gotta calm down bro he's not like you want to suck him off right now i'm like he's very chilling and he's funny that's all you know i maybe i'm getting carried away so i was like you know enamored and he was my coach and i have a level of respect for someone who coaches me um like froggy came back and he was like this is the greatest comedian of all time and i'm like he's the i think he's so funny you know what i mean i think he's a super funny guy i think he's actually one of the funniest guys that i could think of um but like froggy was just all in on it and i think they were probably nervous that maybe and now i'm gonna get crazy
Starting point is 00:46:22 theoried maybe they were nervous that like and i said this in my head privately i was like maybe they were nervous like sam's gonna like come through with a costume or do some next level shit like you know like if it were me i'm i'm like i'm i'm like i'm the bitch like that where i'm like no no we can't it's his event i would love to i would find it funny i would yeah but it's his event i can't have you we can't go in on each other's shoulders in a trench coat or something but froggy would do that go on sam's shoulders in like a trench and he would maybe they were worried about that and maybe i don't know he's been worried about that before like i think sam wanted to fight on an idubbbz event and idubbbz was like this guy's entire shtick is kind of fucking with people
Starting point is 00:47:04 i can't do business with that like we have to take this event and put it on what if he just pretends that he's gonna show the whole time and then he gets up there salutes and turns around like I'm paraphrasing but if I'm Idubbs I'm like
Starting point is 00:47:18 yeah look Sam I get that you're funny but your brand of humor is like messing people's shit up and fucking with them and making them look stupid. So that makes you a risky business partner. People are terrified of Sam. I mean, I told people I was going to go train with him and they were like, what if he and the things they said were so insane.
Starting point is 00:47:39 They're like, yeah, what if he does this? What if he does? What if I was scared of Sam before he came on the show. I was like, I've seen Sam before where he has like he just stays in character the whole fucking time. Start writing runes. And then you know what?
Starting point is 00:47:55 What's going to happen when he comes on the show? Is he ever going to break character? Sounds like William Wallace. Like he's like a mythological figure. Like he's just a comedian, right? He's good at it. He's like a mythological figure. He's just a comedian, right? He's good at it. He's good at it. He's just a funny guy.
Starting point is 00:48:10 Taylor, you ever look in the mirror late at night and say Sam Hyde three times? No, I'm too scared. I did think you guys were all laughing at me, but I'll tell you, in private, they said the same thing. They're like, I wonder what we get with Sam. I wonder what's going to happen when he shows. Is he going to be genuine and be interviewed, or is he going to just sort of try to ruin our show as his bit?
Starting point is 00:48:32 I was curious about which version of him we would get, and I didn't think there was a bad version to get, because if he was weird and bizarre and sort of difficult to interview, like we were trying to, Sam, what's it like being a fucking school shooter? And he,
Starting point is 00:48:46 and he just went and started talking about something off the wall. Like that would be good content too, to just go along on whatever journey he wanted to go on, go on. I'm like coming out of goddamn focus. After we had him on for the first time, the only fear I have with having him on is what his audio quality is going to be like.
Starting point is 00:49:02 Cause he's always screaming from a fucking supply closet, like, like in the wrong direction. You have to ask him to repeat himself. That's the top paid us streamer on YouTube. You're talking about right now, but he was pacing around a room like a psych patient. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:18 Was he? And I like Sam. Hi. Well, that's the thing. People are like, yo, what if you go there and he fucking jumps you or he fucking does i'm like yo i went there and he did something worse worse than you
Starting point is 00:49:29 could imagine what he was funny nice and likable yeah that's like that like i i left and i'm like cool guy and yeah you know that's like uh there are people that that didn't want that and i can't stress this enough idubbbz never held it against me that i still have a direct line of communication with him like i know inside stuff a creator clash as the fights were coming up like i know who was going to box froggy and all that and like i still spoke to sam and he knew i spoke to sam but i kind of just wanted to have a transparency between them both. And so it's weird, like when the fight happens, like when that shit went down and I was like, well, Froggy, I could see why the comment was fucked up. Then people are like, you fucking bitch, Jew, you turned your back on Sam, you know?
Starting point is 00:50:19 Yeah, you're like a stepchild, though. Froggy's not like that's part of what annoys me about it too is the double standard that i dubs and yokozuna have for a guy like you versus a guy like froggy who like can't fight back like you could fire up a stream and hit hard back no i'm not it's not like you think it was i don't have like my my friction is is insane to get someone for me to come to a twitch stream they think i'm playing fucking resident evil stone they don't want to go there i haven't given them anything enticing there my podcast like you know the the views aren't aren't crazy like we get views on facebook but
Starting point is 00:50:56 people on facebook are not real it's not the same group it's my it's like a little white woman traffic exactly um so it's it's not the same but i see what you're saying it there is an underdog aspect that once again optically it looks bad optically so the letter sending the letter about the money looks bad optically but professionally there was really nothing too crazy and i think froggy basically intentional or not called their bluff that they're they wouldn't sue him and he can keep the 15 and say whatever he wants about creator clash uh but no one's there i'm surprised any other creator said anything i'm usually the only dummy that jumps in and you know says something or smart i was surprised by that too harley why the Harley I sent Augie
Starting point is 00:51:46 why is he fucking responding to me this is insane if they were smart Dick's just gonna keep responding I'm just gonna say worse and worse things until someone explodes like I don't care dude that's the best thing about Dick on Twitter is that you will
Starting point is 00:52:02 see him fighting vehemently with someone for hours and then you go to your page and that is one of half a dozen fights you have at any given moment you have nothing but problems with everyone around and sometimes you'll argue with people and you will you'll like be making conflicting points with two people you're arguing about simultaneously and it's like they're both wrong he's just having a blast just just fucking with people that's a taxing thing for a lot of people but i agree it is for me i don't want to be like that makes me better or anything but i i do get a sense like i get like energy from it that is greater than the mental taxation of the engagement like maybe i'm egotistical enough to
Starting point is 00:52:48 leave a stupid twitter conversation and be like idiot i'm fucking chill and no it doesn't matter what i said or what it was like i i maybe that's part of it but i know a lot of people like this person's making me so mad and i'm like why are you saying that out loud turn it into a comment and tell them i don't want to hear about your bullshit fighting yeah but i go on and i'm like why are you saying that out loud turn it into a comment and tell them i don't want to hear about your bullshit fighting yeah but i go on and i'll fight people on something and i'll go back and forth and back and forth and i i leave that and i i wish i was more drained mentally from it because then maybe i would do it less maybe i wouldn't be like nah see here i i disagree everyone everyone i gotta weigh in step back i've met fun people on it that's how i met destiny Be like, nah, see here, I disagree, everyone. Everyone, I got a way in.
Starting point is 00:53:26 Step back. I've met fun people on it. That's how I met Destiny, just fighting, calling him cancer, and then coming on this show and having to sit together for four hours. And now you're fast friends. Now I love him. You mentioned cancer. We talked to Boogie the other day.
Starting point is 00:53:43 We had him on here. Oh, how's his cancer going? Oh, he's ripe. It's really eating him up on the inside. We're excited. He keeps saying that he's going to fight wings, but I'm of the opinion it's not going to happen. If that happens, I tell Keem all the time,
Starting point is 00:53:58 I'm like, if you do this, you're literally my favorite YouTuber ever, Keemstar. Yeah. You are the best YouTuber with no channel and no subscribers you're the best if you make this happen i cannot stress enough that is i honestly froggy fresh could take my place at crater clash too if i if in exchange i get to go watch that fight um great i know boogie personally irl he's a great guy all that man i kind of want wings to just get a w though how could he not he would how could he not for him to this podcast is convinced that wings is far more athletic he wanted anything boogie came on here
Starting point is 00:54:39 and i was like boogie boogie you're not gonna win here's the thing man you got to think of this like rocky balboa in the first fight you've just got to survive three rounds that's a win for you i literally said that to him and i meant it if he can go three rounds with not without falling and hurting himself then that is a win because i promise you a man who looks like him will fall and hurt himself if wings just takes both hands and gives him a hard shove like that because wings is my age he's like a decade younger. And sure, he has his troubles. He's 425 pounds or whatever.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Oh, I bet he's not that fat. 370? I don't know where I got that from. Or 25. I watched him weigh himself to his audio. He's so lazy he can't even read the goddamn numbers. His fucking scale talks back to him. I know, but it's funnier that way. He has to have read the goddamn numbers. His fucking scale talks back to him.
Starting point is 00:55:26 I know, but it's funnier that way. He has to have a series of mirrors. Of course, it's because he can't see the numbers because of his girth. I don't know what's funnier, though. It's funnier both ways, I guess. It's pretty hilarious just looking at him. But he weighed himself, and the scale's like, ow! No, it said 424 pounds or something like that yeah and he was like huh i was 418 this morning and i'm like what happened between morning and evening where you just have a bowl
Starting point is 00:55:56 of cereal and two gallons of milk wait wait yeah wow that what is the margin of error? Maybe it's greater with those numbers. Oh, yeah. Like if you weigh 170, you're going to get 165. How much weight are we talking? 425 pounds. Six pounds? Yeah, he gained six pounds between waves. Two fucking giant big gulp Mountain Dews.
Starting point is 00:56:19 Easy. He's sitting on his piss still. He didn't even piss before that. Oh, he's just. You're probably right. His shits have a lot of liquid in them drinks oh you know i'll be honest like i way back in the day i remember coming on a couple times or like maybe it was one and i remember leaving and thinking i was like yeah i don't know if woody likes me and that guy wings definitely didn't like me
Starting point is 00:56:40 and i just thought that you know didn't really now i know now you love me um but i didn't really flew you we could do that again i'm gay enough for that dick are you gay at all uh probably i can't tell the difference honestly and see what happens i didn't have that same after my first show i had the same feeling i'm like man i think that guy would have hated me what am i doing you need to say thank you notes no you're not you're just kind of like a like you just go like and people don't do this on podcasts like after somebody says something you go hmm what the fuck is that never got that reaction ever in my fucking life. Like, my mom's disappointed in me. You should just send a thank you note to your guest.
Starting point is 00:57:29 Say, like, thanks, I really enjoyed your appearance. What do you mean? You'd be, like, telling a story. You'd be, like, and then, like, so I loaded up, like, and I'm, like, wait, well, what's that? You're, like, I'm telling a story. And I'm, like, okay. Like, I came here here don't you want to
Starting point is 00:57:46 talk about it i feel like you hate me now for all this now we really hate you what did i interrupt or something you're telling a story i don't know what everyone's laughing at i'm lost yeah but i remember uh thinking about wings and not thinking much of him back then but like i could say now i'm a fan of wings i watch a lot of his content i i want you're a fan of him like tell me what does he create that you think is is worthy of your eyeball time like like what if you heard hey wings just made a new video stream thing it's it's there to be digested which one what is it that you're after you're like oh he made a that's cool i'm gonna wait for one of those fucking weirdos or dudes
Starting point is 00:58:39 to make a cut down of this oh that zooms in at the worst places at the worst times and and i i sit and this is what's hypocritical is i sit there and i'm like watching it and i'm enjoying the moments that wings creates and these people manipulate them to be more curated digestible and i'll watch it and then he'll get like really mad or something and then that's when the human me comes in and i'm like oh yeah this is a person and i do have i did the dark triad personality test like years ago and it was like uh your uh uh 70 narcissistic 65 manipulative jew and it was like it was like a really low it was like four percent four percent sociopath like i'm i'm i'm very empathetic whereas the other traits are things that could help you be good at business
Starting point is 00:59:33 this trait is also one that could help you and whereas i could have like i mean with this whole froggy thing there's an element where i could have just watched it unravel but there is a part of me that i'm like but can't you guys put yourself in their shoes and they're like you got little feet simp bitch they're like you fucking simp bitch and i stopped beefing with froggy once he merked me on big and tall jeans he wrote a song and said big and tall where i get them big and tall boot cut jeans and i kindly never i kind of never been roasted on the big and tall angle and i thought that was really funny like just coming from him it was really he made me feel like big and ridiculous and i haven't felt like that since like the third grade when i was double the size of everyone else and they're like man so big and you know i felt like jack robin williams no attack your childhood insecurities he cut
Starting point is 01:00:25 and i was like that's why i love this guy he's a legendary guy triad test he's a fucking scary guy i mean what if what if he what if he was just more like like i think about like you were talking about uh is it dog whistles on the twitter as you said kyle and i think it was like it was kind of towing i felt that there was an intentional towing the boundary with the creator clash thing and they like it was the only fans comment was the one if that was the one or around there that made it happen um i just felt like the line would have been pushed further and further like that was that was the sentiment that i was getting was that it would be something to uh just see because i feel like there's been a lot of bluffs being called the
Starting point is 01:01:10 whole time and what if it was just more nuanced like i'm surprised i don't know if if he wanted to make jokes about that like could have waited till he won his match and got on the mic and said something fucking crazy you know he seemed almost shy saying it like when he called into my show last week and i'm like i watched the only fans joke like you seem like a little kid who's making a joke that you're not supposed to make and you are but like you seem like you still seem like a sweet kid making it uh he just doesn't seem to be what's his name the hateful guy froggy fresh he's so nice and i was also like when i was yelling on the twitter space the second one was because the night before he called me a liar like 15 times and it was a
Starting point is 01:01:50 misunderstanding but he called me a liar and i kind of threw me off because i felt like i i felt like he changed so quickly and everyone's like you changed harley but they didn't see our interactions before and he and i kind of squashed it you know he came on my twitch stream like amongst dozens of people and you know we we spoke about it a little bit um and i i i felt like he did the joke seemed weird like i thought he someone was like say the joke now you know which was not the case it's just him but you know uh do you think i dubs is comfortable with his wife's only fans i don't think so depends how much it makes and how that money is distributed and if he gets um what do they call it when you get like final cut approval uh yeah if it's that sort of thing because i think like
Starting point is 01:02:37 those things would be crucial if you were going to allow something like that to like publicly go on like i think maybe some people get on board with it then. I don't like the idea of it in general. Wait, you don't like the idea of OnlyFans in general? Are we talking about something that makes $8,000 a month or something that makes $80,000 a month? I don't know. I think before you even get there, you just don't know that information.
Starting point is 01:03:01 You could still try and decide if it's a thing. Because I think a lot of the hate is actually focused on that and i never realized how big of a discussion and a thing like porn was in general you know yeah even like you know it's i just think the idea of your your like significant other being out there like that is an interesting topic because I, somebody I follow and I always think about this as Gal Gadot, you know, wonder woman. She's like a married lady with a family,
Starting point is 01:03:30 but so I, I'm always wondering like, where's the line for her on racy, but I've seen like that girl's ass cheeks. I know like, like, and, and I guess I'm sure her husband's okay with that.
Starting point is 01:03:41 And she's always making out with, with some guys wonder woman, right? Fucking Chris Pine. i'm sure her husband's okay with that and she's always making out with uh with some guy's wonder woman right fucking chris pine how different is that from her showing like three quarters of her ass and like spreading her legs on the internet for 20 at a time if it's adding up to about the same salary as what gal gadot gets and and he might be into it like i says i had a friend in off-roading and his wife was hot like whatever everyone has their version of a perfect woman she's a lot of people's perfect woman and uh they were like
Starting point is 01:04:13 really sexual out in public a lot i remember he wore a t-shirt that said i love head head is a brand of ski like for for skiing and uh and it had the ski on it but everyone knew what it meant and she's there in the passenger seat and you're like there's the person he loves it from okay then we were friends at his campsite call it like six tents you could hear them fucking at night like and it wasn't
Starting point is 01:04:38 it wasn't like I hear the sleeping bag did they hear you jerking off probably but it's like you know that's fucking hard right it wasn't like a subtle sort of like you hear the russell it was praise and kinky words and dirty talk and shit like that um i wouldn't put up with that shit i would literally like come back with oh yeah oh like start counter growing yeah you can do that i didn't maybe i'm wrong but i think that's shitty behavior at a fucking campsite to like
Starting point is 01:05:11 yeah you know what i find shitty about it you guys but let me get to my point okay yeah yeah yeah so that's an honest to talk that's not a podcast for this guy i don't think that's fair. I get ripped on for interrupting fucking ten fucking thousand times in shows. They were ripped me for interrupting, right? Meanwhile, I'm in the middle of a point. We change topics. No fucking big deal.
Starting point is 01:05:37 Don't do that. That's fine. Woody can shut the fuck up and take a back seat every fucking time he has a point. Woody's mad at her thoughts and they don't count they're nothing nothing this fuck is hanging that that's how we all see it so every once in a while i say hey i'm getting to something i dubs might all i think this guy liked that everyone found his wife sexy i think it increased her value to him right like this is someone that everyone
Starting point is 01:06:05 wishes they had and she's mine maybe i dubs gets off on no he's talking about the camping guy when he says that yeah yeah we're talking about both i'm kind of making this analogy yeah i knew a guy in real life yeah i'm sure doug that everyone thought his wife was so fucking sexy and i think i dubs might dig it too and what real quick to what kyle said where he was like he wouldn't put up with that i also instantly would be like i'm not my ears aren't your prop to get off right now but you guys aren't fucking there loudly so that you know that i hear it and you can get off on the fact that i know it like that's not no i'm i'm allowed to come watch then if i'm gonna hear it you're I'm not going to be an accessory.
Starting point is 01:06:46 I'm getting involved. Let me see. Maybe I'm not even getting involved, but I want to see it if you're going to be yelling in my ear about it. I'm going to be outside that tent with the moon casting my shadow on you. They're trying to force you to be involved in their exhibitionism. That's rude.
Starting point is 01:07:02 It's in the middle of a camp. You've got to wake up early for fishing and stuff. I have a take. in their exhibitionism that's rude and it's in the middle of a camp you got to wake up early for fishing and stuff and they're like come on i i have my girlfriend is great but you're probably way out in the middle of the woods not disturbing the true campers right no i'm right there you're in like a trailer park of it with the campers um but uh so you're like kyle you're saying at a certain amount of income the only fans is cool yeah all right so like it's it bell delphine level when we're talking about generational wealth millions a month type stuff i i think her i think i think she makes around one i know that's a round number but i think that's what it is someone told me
Starting point is 01:07:40 used to be jesus christ and she's banging her boyfriend anyway so yeah whatever it's just like it pays for your house oh it'll be a ton it depends if you're also out there how much you think your little fucking snatch is worth kyle generational wealth what do you think i'm just levels do is what i'm saying snatch is worth a lot take it from me like like if your girlfriend's out there making like three hundred dollars a month to like put pictures of her vagina there forever it's like all right i don't think this is worth it but if she's making three hundred thousand a month it's a different story yeah it's sort of like fighting for a case she's going to She's going to choose that $300,000 over you.
Starting point is 01:08:25 It's like, is bum fights cool? Like, is bum fights cool because that guy's getting paid Bud Light? No, it's not cool that the guy boxing for $70,000, that guy is cool. Like, fighting itself isn't cool or not. It's about the surrounding situation. Wow, that guy who's trained fighting is going to make $100,000 versus that guy who doesn't have teeth, teeth probably hepatitis and he might win but light i've seen biting in those yeah it's a it's a strategy you've seen the the classic one where
Starting point is 01:08:54 the guy is like all about the boxing and they're in that like what is it like la riverbed that shit concrete garbage and like he gets knocked down and the guy goes from tough guy to little baby the second the other guy starts biting off a piece of felony fights yeah oh felon fights you're right yeah it's a little once you graduate so much scarier yeah yeah have you seen that clip dick because the guy goes no i'm back and then he goes because the guy's biting him and the guy who's doing the biting doesn't stand up and look like a feral lunatic he stands up like a triumphant victor of ancient battles as though like that's what happens when you step to the king jeez like that's the guy is screaming for help froggy fresh and box chris ray gun that guy can you find him still this guy would fuck up either
Starting point is 01:09:44 of those people and I don't know what either of those guys look like. He was super scary. He was a face biter. Those people are YouTubers. Yeah. They've trained. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:53 They've trained in views. I think that his, honestly, well, there's my take on it. I think that his wife's only fans is having a wife that wants to be a singer-songwriter where if it's good like you'd
Starting point is 01:10:06 be happy about it like what are your story with the guy with the hot wife or like like gal gadot like yeah my wife shows her ass by the way oh wow i'm with the number but like i think that anise's only fans is bad and idubbbz knows it and that's like a why it's such a raw nerve you don't think he's a producer like he doesn't get executive producer credits he's not taking editing because he has no skills why would you hire someone else yeah like the content is bad or bad like it's not making the money that the content is bad like i think it's just like oh yeah this is i gotta like buy into this fuck and i said they got a sponsorship something about arby's roast beef like like i did say that
Starting point is 01:10:45 yeah i for five dollars all right listen it's a big chain i i i mean there are people that i could meet that could make content that i'm not a fan of but i don't give a shit i'm like it's my wife's like but you're acting like if like you know your wife was a painter and she was a shit painter you'd be like oh like i can't bear like it's just it's that's her work maybe it's not for you but there's people that like it and you just you know difference is it the because but that's it it's the new guys that's that you guys marry an only fans creator if it was good level only fans creator is she tina the snatch hoe who works at bojang angles it's not six figures a month it's not
Starting point is 01:11:27 six figures a month no no no yeah but is it five like to me if if if my if my wife was bringing in an extra 120k a year to take pictures in the living room i'm kind of very happy about that uh i know people will see her nipples will you be happy about the edits that we make of them no vagina but i know i know people will see people will see her nipples in her vagina but like derrick saw that in college it's not like it doesn't matter it doesn't really damn did your girlfriend get fucked by derrick that entire fraternity song don't hate yourself harley but like that's the thing is like i i i mean i i don't i guess my take is this i wouldn't have an issue marrying an only fans creator if i love them i wouldn't having said that i would not be
Starting point is 01:12:19 keen on our daughter making an only fans and I don't know why that makes sense I don't know why that makes sense but it does that's how I feel right now as a man and a man who's not married to an OnlyFans creator that he loves I'm just saying
Starting point is 01:12:38 I look at iDubbbz and I was a fan of iDubbbz back in the day I loved Content Cop I was like yo here's a person who's fucking destroying some people that deserve it at the time. And I see what he's doing now. And I have firsthand experience with Anissa and him. And I think everyone disagrees, apparently. But Idubz has had a major ascension slash evolution. Maybe he's not the best at communicating to his fan base that
Starting point is 01:13:05 he's not the same guy but i feel like raising 1.3 million dollars for charity is a better legacy than saying the n-word in tana's ear you know or like making a content cop on keemstar or rice gum i feel like this is better and i see they do that together and even a lot of money it's really hard to change in social media like if you become known for one thing that's all they want from you forever you may have two interests i only care about the one i found you on didn't uh filthy frank like totally become a singer he was the one of the best swerves and yeah he's he's actually like big youtube he's like lana del rey for men he's like lana del rey for men i know that sounds bad but it's actually great and it's it's it's
Starting point is 01:13:57 really fascinating it's a really fascinating swerve on and pivot and one of the more interesting ones on youtube in my opinion of people that were creators are we ready to shift topics have we have we agreed this froggy guy has gotten off uh uh with a lot of money and we all hate him now no no we all hate frog don't i can't don't do like even dick turns on it god i hate him now by the way you know I tried to get Froggy on here, right? You guys know I tried to book Froggy before all this shit happened? I did not. I didn't know about Froggy until this.
Starting point is 01:14:31 I did. I was pushing on Chiz. I was like, bro, you know, Chris McCrane, Froggy Fresh. They're very selective about their guests. They won't let Vito on either because he's apparently a pedophile or something like that. No, you know what? We got to get him on. I need to ask him more about.
Starting point is 01:14:44 He offered me child pornography. That was the first conversation we had. Because you're a felon. He thought that's what you do. Okay, that's fair, but they were Polaroids. I'm going to break the ice with this guy. No, I need to talk to him about how he masturbated his cat. Oh, yeah. I forgot he did that. This is Dick's co-host.
Starting point is 01:15:06 The biggest problem in the universe. Yeah. Last time i was a guest on the biggest problem check it out biggest problem it uh dick like threw me for a loop where you said something like yeah veto tell him about how you masturbate your cat and i'm like oh this must be like a silly running bit and veto started being like it's not that bad like insincerity a little bit and he he's like, hold on. Wait, this has to be this has to be uncovered. Like what was what was the impetus of this? And I guess he wouldn't when cats get horny. So to see. So
Starting point is 01:15:32 that's how he it's just easy to let him milk a cow that's mooing. You're relieving their stress. Yeah. And you're on. That's what it's like to be married to me. If you're a cat. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:48 And April 15th is when I'm boxing, which is this Saturday. Who are you boxing? I'm boxing John Morrison. Saturday. Oh, really? That's right. Yeah. I know him from way back in the day, man.
Starting point is 01:16:01 That's awesome. Isn't he so cool? He's such a cool guy. How is he he's he it says six one on online but wrestlers you can never trust the height and weight stats i feel like he might be six foot i'm definitely taller i'm definitely taller what are you you're a true six five does that sound i'm six five all right so i 6'2", with my shoes on for sure. Harley towers over me. It's upsetting to be around
Starting point is 01:16:30 Harley. I won't tell the story again, but I always made sure I was the tallest guy in pictures. I've taken a thousand pictures with people. When I met Harley, it was like, shit, there's no way to get around this one. He's just a guy. Let's take it by the stairs.
Starting point is 01:16:46 I've muscled up over 6'4". Okay, I put a box behind a guy one time and climbed on top. He didn't know it. On his own Facebook. That's been diesel in every shot of Fast and the Furious, by the way. Apparently, he's always standing on an Apple box. He's everyone's height, but his arms are short. They put him up a hill.
Starting point is 01:17:02 Yeah. Kyle, I like your commitment to that bit. In that, like, you made Dan Bil hill yeah i like your commitment to that bit in that like you made dan bilzerian look like a silly little boy when you're still i'm just calling him dan bilzerian that's what i'm saying is that you were still doing your your in twice as wide as falling thing and you know even when you're around someone like him who's i did to my buddy um bruno like bruno's just a big jacked six three six four x'4", ex-Marine fucker. We were all taking this group picture around a helicopter
Starting point is 01:17:28 doing this hog hunting thing. He is by far the tallest guy there, but there's these square 4x4 blocks that they use to keep the trailer, the helicopters on from rolling away. They got them cocked under the tires. I grab that thing and stand up on top of it, give myself another 4 fucking inches now i'm looking down on bruno but from
Starting point is 01:17:50 behind him and so he it's on his face looks like you have a short torso so oh i look on his facebook his buddies are like how big is that fucking russian god they know how big he is um yeah that was great i started parley you fucked you can't i've started pulling a trick on my son so if you guys don't know i have a son he's a 20 years old in two weeks and he towers over me by two or three inches he's also special needs and he's like this huge hugger so he catches me and he's like do do you need a father son hug? And it is emasculating. I put my forehead on his collarbone when he hugs me. And he's got a beard now. And I'm not used to being hugged by people with full grizzly beards and shit. It's something else.
Starting point is 01:18:40 So anyway, the last couple of weeks, I'm like, yeah, sure, I'll take a hug. And I'm standing by the steps. And at the last second of weeks i like yeah sure i'll take a hug and i'm standing by the steps and at the last second i take a step backwards and uh he has just denied that he'll be like oh no you don't now you're that old lion waiting for the day that he steals the pride from you. Yeah, it'll come. Those always made me sad, those clips that showed the old lions on Animal Planet. Yeah. I don't know why I didn't empathize more as a kid with the young buck lion. I just remember watching David Attenborough be like,
Starting point is 01:19:22 and then the defeated lion makes his way to the woods where life becomes much much shorter and it's like oh oh that's his way of like kindly saying he's like going off to die the way old dogs do where they just find a quiet corner and die but their death and stuff is so different to animals i'm done feeling sorry for them i want you to change my mind i'm tired i'm tired of feeling sorry for him too no i i like like i i just found out that dogs can lose an eye lose two eyes lose three legs and their level of happiness or satisfaction is not altered so i can only imagine it's such a human take to be like ah now, no, I lost. I got to go die now.
Starting point is 01:20:05 Wow. But I feel like that lion's like, as it is and as it always was, the pride lives on. And this is my destiny. Nah, they're going to eat his babies back there. No, this is a better way. They're going to eat all his babies now. He's probably like, dine. Dine on my offspring.
Starting point is 01:20:23 On my children. Make new ones, better ones for the pride. Animals are awful. What do you mean you learned you can lose all your eyes and their happiness isn't the same? What they do is they hook those sensors up.
Starting point is 01:20:40 They shave the dog's head bald first. Then they hook all these sensors up to him. They take measure of his brain levels and his happiness they give him treats and stuff and they're like oh look at this where they can measure how his happiness levels and then they cut his legs in off and they blind him and then they measure again and they're and they you know they're like they squeak the toy and even though and when those little three stubs kick around and those little blind eyes blink around it's the same level of happiness even though they can't do anything at all and then they kill the dog is this like the hell you guys
Starting point is 01:21:14 right though yeah you're right to say it though because the last time i was on here i was like i said some shit about coca-cola i was like i heard this shit about coke and it was like i don't know about that pull it up and it was completely wrong and i was like we know together we know together i know we learned about artificial sweetener that that episode i refuse to be corrected everything yeah women really hate that by the way the what do you mean by that just fucking listen to my interesting stat that i learned today listen to me parent something as though i've known it for more than 40 minutes fucking mirrors no that stuff is there okay whatever yeah i got it that's what i like to learn learn just enough to be like oh that's what you think and then never and then never an item
Starting point is 01:21:56 more about something just enough to be smug and i think back to the only thing only fans think it's almost a unfair to phrase it the way we've been doing it. It's like giving the lady an unfair advantage. Really? It's like, what if your girlfriend that you currently have wants to start one from the ground up? That's the real question. I think that's a huge blanketed no, right? What if it was a little more private? What if she
Starting point is 01:22:17 sold her underwear? Is that a better thing? I'm actually okay with selling me underwear. But here's the problem, Woody. You then start developing a group of people that are scary in your life for minimal um benefit cable you either have to you go full blast or not at all this is what you're bringing up this is like this is the interesting thing is that i like to approach stuff as everything can be a discussion maybe it's a really short one she wants to do an only fans maybe i'm the type of guy that's like i don't like that at all just anything i don't even want
Starting point is 01:22:49 to have an only i don't even want to know that there that it exists i hate it i hate it yeah maybe or maybe i'm like yeah uh i'm cool with you posting pics of your feet and selling underwear but don't show your lips uh or your butthole like you know what i mean and you could also like you can make it so the only fans is blocked in your country and it's only available somewhere else so it wouldn't be seen this is where you guys find out that i've been jerking off on only fans in europe my whole like the last three years i like not in my belly and I'm like then you're like god damn it that was a
Starting point is 01:23:31 door dash me I just paid to nuts when I got it for free but I think I will take over only fans and these girls will have to go back to work or second dick or something rather than getting free money honestly I think I literally think ai is taking over the arts which i always thought that our jobs were safe so yeah i think like pka is gonna go back to sucking dick and working real jobs like i'm never left have you seen the ai version of our show? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:05 It is shocking. It sounds like the stupid bullshit we would talk about. It is us sitting here and it's our voices having a conversation about daily nonsense and occasionally our faces move a little bit. Did you watch it and think I didn't like you? Because otherwise it doesn't capture the essence of the show.
Starting point is 01:24:22 You know, I mean... It was pretty silly. I don't think it's... I mean, they were talking about nonsense. But we're close. Maybe, like, I feel like they can, like, mine every single Manosphere podcast that's existed over the last five years, and you could have, like, Bradley Cooper voiceover rocket raccoon style from tiktok and the fucking another voiceover style
Starting point is 01:24:51 and they could have a manosphere podcast and speak for three hours i'm convinced that we're we're literally months away from that who it really puts out of business is people who do impressions because now you have every voice really, really well done. And you can just type it out. You don't have to pay some guy to do your voiceover. The David Attenborough stuff is great. There's so many David Attenborough parodies. Whatever your interest is, there's a David Attenborough biography about it now.
Starting point is 01:25:21 How do you guys feel about this AI art art and ai stuff like that what do you feel i love it voices it still can't make fun of fat chicks or say slurs so my job's safe technology's a rolling ball you know we'll we'll build up the momentum and we'll get to the ai will start disliking fat people on a woody level he's like got work to do if woody sees someone who is six ounces overweight he's like a sign of things to come everyone like writing is on the wall i do these piano streams where i i have open gpt write a song like i just give it the chat will give me a topic to write about and i'll type their sentence in like write a song about write a song like from the from the pov of pat tillman thanking
Starting point is 01:26:10 the american government for using him in an nfl ad and using his death to promote the military and it will it'll think for like three seconds and spit out like a perfect ballad about the topic so i'm like all right so i'll just kind of i'll just play piano and sing the song right um and if i great it's so much fun um it sounds every time every time they say something to sing negative about women which happens a lot i don't know why i can't imagine uh i will just put men in and then switch the words on the fly because it will still write the song about men so it's like oh yeah men are fucking fat lazy stupid and then i'll just say like women when i'm singing it but it will not write it will not write anything about what's that it'll do men but it won't do women yeah yeah it won't say anything negative about women this is
Starting point is 01:26:55 what makes my life so hard about being a cuck okay okay this is what makes my life hard is because it's stuff like it's like i i i do i i want to be like uh listen i love ai i love all why wouldn't it say why would it do one and not the other why is that why is that why i don't like when we're policed like that when we're like when our thoughts are policed or yeah things like, you know, um, that's true with all kinds of discrimination as a general rule of thumb. I think, you know, like how would I react to this thing? Right. White face making fun of me dressing like me as a Halloween costume. How would I react to this joke or whatever? And if I think that it's cool and in good humor, then it's nice. If I think that it's like hurtful and mean, then that's,
Starting point is 01:27:45 it would be hurtful and mean if I did it to these other people. That's my guideline. That's like where my reality goes. Why can, why can he write the dumb thing about men, but he can't write it about themes wrong. It fails that it's been done. What's called white girls.
Starting point is 01:27:58 You never seen that with the Wayans brothers. Oh, well that movie wasn't funny. I'd like to see it done. Well, well that's, um, it's not a perfect like, though, if you think
Starting point is 01:28:05 about it, because if I did a parody where I'm like, look, I'm Woody, and I was dressed as a slave with old-timey shackles, oh, shucks, massa, I'm Woody, whatever will I do? You'd be like, that does not offend me. Yeah, I do think there's weight. But if you were black, it would, right?
Starting point is 01:28:22 But that guy that has the box fan on his back and a trash bag is a harness. That was hilarious. That was like a celebration of you. That guy was embodying all that you were and clothing himself with it. The AI will say
Starting point is 01:28:40 pro-Biden stuff but not pro-Trump stuff? Yeah, correct. Really? See, bro, I'm so sorry. I think Trump's pro-biden stuff but not pro-trump stuff yeah correct yeah i think so really see bro i'm pretty lame i think trump's a fucking idiot um i don't think biden's a chill guy either uh but like why do you do that stuff why you know what like these are the things that that this is like this is why i would have never i would have never kicked andrew tate off is why I would have never, I would have never kicked Andrew Tate off Twitter. I would have never done it to Kanye West. I think you do that whenever you tell it, especially like a younger male that you can't hear this person.
Starting point is 01:29:15 You can't do this thing. You can't listen. You're like, motherfucker, you're trying to control me. You know what I mean? And like, you have this like strong desire to actually kind of be controlled by someone you respect or look up to and also like to pay that off and bring balance to it never be controlled never and question everything and so when people get booted off social media i don't like what they have to say but i want them to be there saying it yeah i want them i want it
Starting point is 01:29:43 to be questioned by other people or there to be a conversation. And I just hate when it does stuff like that. We should be able to say the N-word. We shouldn't just. AI should be free to say any word. You are allowed to say the N-word. And the consequences that you would get from it
Starting point is 01:29:59 are probably realistically. They're going to be realistic. I urge you to go. It depends. It depends how you say it. I say it all the time. There's no consequence. I just urge you to say it.
Starting point is 01:30:17 Fire that one out of the bank. Try it out. I will say this. Like, like I, I love when they ask a white person if he's ever, if they've ever said it and they're so it's such a scary question for them no it's like oh yeah all the time but the real question should be have you ever used that word in a with hate in your heart have you ever called
Starting point is 01:30:34 anyone that word with hatred in your heart that and the name is like oh yeah yeah definitely have like they were like but they had it coming in those instances that we've got to do in modern I was prestige level 2 in Modern Warfare and I was about to prestige again we're in the pregame lobby I did say it with hate I did say it with hate and I'd do it again, 24 kills ain't easy I've said awful things over stupid fucking video games
Starting point is 01:30:58 I can remember trying to make a goddamn video and like, you know you need to make the video and we've just got to get this last kill and we're done with work for the day now i can just go play free-for-all like i wanted to do and i i don't i've got my nuke i can upload this modern warfare 2 nuke it's gonna be like 1500 you know like we gotta get this thing uploaded motherfucker would kill me in the spawn while i'm in my ac-130 or shopper gun or whatever and and i definitely called him some slurs and and he was like oh shit i'm so sorry i didn't know and that and that's even worse because
Starting point is 01:31:30 i needed him to come back at me like just as mad i need to be like well fuck you i don't give a fuck hope you never get your nuke but instead he was like shit that's terrible i'm sorry how long have you been trying and i'm like all day man all day all right i won't boost with you or nothing but next game i won't kill anybody in a chopper gunner i'm like good deal good deal just let me lay in my chopper gunner i gotta upload this video i'm such a gamer i fucking hate game wars is waiting you hate gamers gamers so many times I hear them on the headset. Angry gamers is just the most pathetic fucking thing to me. There's very few things that'll get me mad than hearing a grown man on the headset being like, Oh, my fucking God.
Starting point is 01:32:15 Fucking aim, dudes. Play the objective. And I'll hear it coming out of my speaker, and I'll get up, and I'll be like, fucking pissing me off. And I'll plug in my headset. And I'll come in, and I'm like, pissing me off and i'll plug in my headset and i'll come in and i'm like buddy hello hello you're shit too put us on the team together this is the level you're at shut the fuck up or maybe be a leader but shut up complain and i got put it away and then the guy played i said and then people sometimes they'll be like okay i'm rushing objective a whoever wants to
Starting point is 01:32:48 i swear like they'll they'll like be a person perhaps there's a small percentage but it's happened it happens a lot in valorant people get mad in some of these games valorant like people get so and i get so mad because i never i broke broke a controller, a Sega Genesis controller in like 94. My mom didn't replace it. Ever since then, I never get mad. That thing's like a brick. Yeah, and I was fucking... And I was bending it all the time. You know when the plastic would go white?
Starting point is 01:33:15 I kept doing it and doing it, and then one time it just fucking snapped. The kind of anger that you get in Call of Duty is that flash anger. It's, I'm mad right now but this one little thing and like the next game you don't even care but in a game like rust there will be a guy that you know you're like yeah he lives over there on that island that's the guy ruining our fun his name is joker he's friends with petey and joker and petey are the duo who
Starting point is 01:33:42 keep fucking with us and ruining all of my whole group's fun. And we go to this website where you can see what their past aliases were. And so because they'll continuously roll new names so that we won't know that it's them like scouting us out because they'll just be a naked guy outside your base. Best pitch for us I've ever
Starting point is 01:34:00 heard so far. He'll be a naked guy outside your base like looking around and you'll be like boom, smoke him. And you'll go check and be like, oh guy's named dave this isn't pd or joker you've got to go online and make and look he changed his name to dave last night for 10 minutes so he could come over here and scout us out they're coming tonight midi set your alarm and we set our fucking alarm clock for four fucking a.m and we wake up wake up and we're both sitting there drinking our coffee, waiting on Petey and Joker and we're fucking stacked and they're coming and they're not
Starting point is 01:34:29 coming because, oh, we're playing video games and it's fun. They're coming. We're gonna fuck up Kyle and Mitty tonight because fuck those cocksuckers. Fuck those N-word F-words because that's how Rust is. There are like these personal grudges over geographical resources but moreover the bile that
Starting point is 01:34:46 you can get out of another human being by ruining their time they want to hear the screen because it's a game where you have you have voip so they'll be like fuck you you motherfucker i was three hours i was grinding that's the type of gamer you are i figured it out it's not about how much fun it's not about how much no it's not that it matters not about how much fun you have it's about how much fun you can take away from someone else and that's why you like that's why you like tarkov that's what you like for us because you want to you know that they put in hours and you could take this from them and they'll never get it back you want to take hollow place in my heart from playing so many hours of those games and it was done it was made there by them taking from me i played those those two
Starting point is 01:35:26 games for hundreds of hours with with this thing in my head thinking i'm sitting here grown-ass man this is what we're doing with our time we are doing we are nothing but a loot collection device we run around and get the loot they kill us and take it away we are here for other for real men's convenience that's how bad you are at this game. And I had to play until I got good enough to be like, now the hunters have become the hunted. And actually win a few fucking gunfights. Because you're running around collecting shit,
Starting point is 01:35:55 and then they smoke you and they take all your fucking shit. You get bullied infinitely in those games. It's all about bullying people and taking their shit. Because you can go out and be a worker bee and chop trees, but it's so much easier to run around and kill a bunch of worker bees and take their trees or their rocks or their gold or whatever the fuck and what you really do is you use your podcast platform to get people who are good at the game you you get bullies on your team i do that you could be a bully too i do that i bring bullies with me yeah yeah i'll have my bullies stand outside your base and hold you at gunpoint,
Starting point is 01:36:28 and I'll be out there talking shit like I'm the one responsible for it. It's like, yeah, you don't mess with Kyle. I remember when you were pulling your bully and me taking all my tobacco. Well, these two guys are from Poland, and I brought them in special just for you. Dude, Kyle, I remember you talking about doing Tarkov that way, when you sucked, and you'd be like, Vavity, we're playing Tarkov. And then he wouldn't talk, and you'd just be like,
Starting point is 01:36:55 gentlemen, you don't understand what we're going to do to you. Vavity, make sure he knows we're serious. And then he would harass them and fuck them up and be like, ah, you don't like that, do you? No, you don't. I mean, while you're not doing anything. That's how I want to game. I just want to be a big fat overlord as my minions do all the hard stuff.
Starting point is 01:37:12 I'm like a fat white girlfriend standing behind her black boyfriend talking shit. Because I know he's going to smoke you. He's going to fucking lay you out the moment you come over here and i can fucking talk all i'm like dog the bounty hunter's wife rest in peace beth just fucking come on come on what are you gonna do i'm dropping white slurs even though i'm whiter than you dude dog the bounty hunter's wife probably had to give me like a taller casket some of those guys i've recruited are legitimate savants they they will actually be from those eastern european countries um with these with accents i can barely understand and
Starting point is 01:37:50 and i remember one night it's 3 a.m and i'm hanging out with this guy named timu and i think he was from i don't know lithuania or poland or some shit and and i like laid out my whole life story because it's just me and him stoned as fuck grinding away like building our base late at night I talked for 35 minutes telling my life story and I was like what about you Teemu I pretty much play this game
Starting point is 01:38:14 that was it he's like I'm like yeah that's right that's why I'm hanging out with you I almost forgot you're not a real person you're just a mercenary for this goddamn video game. That's AI. You want to talk about AI? He's AI.
Starting point is 01:38:31 It's him. He's the NPC. Let me just tell you, that dude was good at this game to a level that's hard for you to comprehend unless you've played. You have to be pretty good at the game to understand how great he is at the game like he would bully a team of four like four guys coming up to fuck him up and he's talking his way through
Starting point is 01:38:52 murking them like he's playing a single player game and now they will come around the corner and that one is dead headshot triple headshot dead triple headshot dead like he's controlling the recoil so perfectly that he's shooting them three times in the head in a row like instantly that he built a gun i couldn't even get my hands on a gun when i played that game yeah oh i was like i have a stick and a
Starting point is 01:39:14 rock someone's like if you ever want to play rust and nothing but hunger and fear if you ever legitimately want to play rust i know you've got your fight thing going on right now um but but like i would have you want to fight like a real man join rust dude it'll hurt you look i i didn't cry but but i could have cried someone hurt my feelings so bad and rust before like like you don't know what i hadn't been bullied since fucking junior high not like that like there's a kid outside my base with a speech impediment calling me names and they hurt my feelings and i can't do shit about it because if i step outside he's gonna kill me and take my shit and he'll run up in the hills and deposit it and come back with a pretty serious predicament eh kyle
Starting point is 01:39:57 you old fucko i bet your knees click when you walk, you old fuckle. Your pumpkins and their dust. Yeah, they click a little, just the left one. I'm eating your pumpkins. Yeah, he's outside eating our crops. I remember my first base. I remember my first base. And the worst part about it is we were actually
Starting point is 01:40:22 cheating. It was a duo server, two man teams, but I made a village of all of my friends. He came to our village and pushed all of our shit in. Everybody's hiding in their houses, peeking. Because any time, I mean, there's like eight of us. But if we go outside, he's so good, he goes, I'm my elated. My friends are going,
Starting point is 01:40:45 who's cheating, bro? Who's fucking cheating, bro? And we're all grown men. There's nobody this tall under 25. Very, very quiet. There's nobody this tall under 25 years old. He's a 12-year-old Elmer Fudd. Wow.
Starting point is 01:40:58 Only a retard would hide in their base like this. You know what's funny is I'm a webbing. You should be at work but what he was saying was true because we go outside with our armor and our guns we go outside with an armor and a gun to try to deal with him and all he had was a handgun he's naked and he merks us and he takes our full suit of shit and like steals it away and he says bring me more kids bring me more kids i'm num num num num i'm eating your pumpkins eating your kids feed me old man you know and my buddy we're in a discord call we're in a discord call my buddy's like bro what are we
Starting point is 01:41:44 gonna do and i'm like i don't know man buddy's like, bro, what are we going to do? And I'm like, I don't know, man. Let's go play something else. What else could we do? We can't play the game. The nature of Rust is our base is where we start. Anything we're going to do involves us walking out our front door and going to get things. He's there.
Starting point is 01:41:59 He's waiting. Next time somebody starts an argument about people not being able to beat the government in Civil War, I'm going to go, you haven't heard Kyle play Rust, man. waiting next time somebody starts an argument about like people not being able to beat the government in civil war you haven't heard kyle play rust man there's a speech impediment guy we need on our side yeah there's a lot of dirty stuff happening we it's it's a really fun uh experience and it's mostly driven by person-to-person interactions like like just finding people and befriending them and then betraying them or just finding a guy and really just like giving him all your shit watch a kid like kids again it takes dozens of hours to get a lot of stuff like an ak is hours and hours of hard work
Starting point is 01:42:34 but you like drop an ak for a little kid and they'll legitimately scream and squeal and like joy it's pretty fun to be nice in that game too whenever we're done playing we'll always give all of our hard-earned shit away to some person who's never played. But yeah, Rust is a great game. Anytime you want to play Rust, let me know. I'll make unhealthy decisions. And I'll bring Taylor with me because I think he needs to play a first-person shooter. Slowly but
Starting point is 01:42:55 surely, Taylor's becoming a PC gamer. He's killing me most of the time in Warhammer. His RTS skill's great, and we just gotta transition that into FPS eventually. Yes. Yeah, i'm much more confident playing rts than fps games no we played like slipgate or whatever it was called and you were killing it i was like what a fucking liar taylor is i'm not that good at shooters i'm not well you were scoring very high in that and i was like like after playing rts games which is like
Starting point is 01:43:24 age of empires warhammer like like it's so much less stressful to play a game where it's like the worst thing that happens is you respawn or it's like and like you didn't when like what kyle was talking about with like fucking up someone's day when you've spent like 45 minutes building your civilization manually making sure that enough people are on food, wood, gold, and stone to facilitate the creation of your shit.
Starting point is 01:43:48 And then they surprise you with a rush and they push your shit in. Like that's upsetting because you're not responding. It's like, someone's coming into your base, destroying your shit and is tacitly telling you, you suck. And I, everything you've built is nothing.
Starting point is 01:44:04 It's nothing to me. i come in and i spit on it and that's very disappointing the you want it it's it's way worse than aoe because it's such a more complicated game but i i've played one game of total war warhammer 3 on live like in multiplayer and everybody out there probably knows total war franchise top down rts and all my experience of watching multiplayer trying to get better at this domination mode, came from watching this channel called Turin. He's like a commentator of Total War games.
Starting point is 01:44:32 And I saw these names, where he's like, I'm commentating another couple of pros, you know, Dog Person vs. RTS Platypus, or someone vs. RTK Platypus, and like RTK Demon vs. RTK Platypus, and like, I just wanted to learn how to play the game. And so I got online.
Starting point is 01:44:48 And in my first and only game of multiplayer, I get matched up with RTK Platypus, who's a professional player of this game. And to the point that I recognized his name. I'm like, no, no. And then I went to YouTube and I checked. And it's like, yeah, this is the guy. And it was not at no point in the game
Starting point is 01:45:05 did i have even a a glimmer of a shot like he was toying with me did whatever he wanted it was it was not fun but it wasn't as devastating play the worst game in the world uh turbo tax you just chased down 1099s you should have looked for back in January. And it costs you all your money. I hate those games. Those are the worst. They always lose. I had a fun time with TurboTax this year, getting all my income from all the crypto companies
Starting point is 01:45:37 that went down and stole all my money. That's great that they still managed Celsius. Oh, fuck. They took everyone's money, but they still sent them the 1099 for the interest that they made while they were still making payments. It's really fantastic.
Starting point is 01:45:53 You got to pay tax on that money, and I guess it, I don't know at all. You get to claim it back when they finally go bankrupt in 40 years or something. I don't know how it works. I used to tell people, I used to always be like yeah like you know i'm love bitcoin i love and then like i remember i think it was quadriga went down uh people lost money in quadriga i lost i had ethereum and quadriga and i lost it and then like time went on and people like you never talk about bitcoin anymore and i was like
Starting point is 01:46:21 yeah because i would talk about it and then people were like i'll go get bitcoin and then they leave it in quadriga or whatever and then the thing goes down and they're like you fucking told me and i was like bro i also i had no idea i'm like i'm just gonna shut the fuck up bro we're in this boat together no one's ever like bro i was really happy you started talking about crypto here at this event i really wanted to talk about i'm like i don't need to talk about it about it next time next time i talk about something i should talk about i'll make sure it's on a twitter space with keemstar and that all of twitter is listening safe place yeah dick you're the most expert crypto guy among us none of us know shit about it is it gonna boom again should we get in uh i mean yeah i think like the only thing
Starting point is 01:47:03 that'll stop it i think is uh the uS. government saying flat out that it's illegal and that if you have it, you're going to jail. Otherwise, I'm in. I got a bunch of Bitcoin on a, you know, not on an exchange. Don't put it on an exchange like that. I'm a big crypto believer, though. Did you guys know that I made a, or me and a bunch of guys made a crypto Patreon? Did I talk about that last time I was here?
Starting point is 01:47:29 No, I don't think you talked about it. Yeah. Backed by. Yeah. Backed by. Yeah. I got it in my thing there. You know, there's so many people got kicked off of Patreon and all the all the alternatives
Starting point is 01:47:39 and PayPal and all them. Why? For cultivating an audience of homophobic racists yeah yeah no for jokes for making jokes about uh uh master cards wife's only fans they they banned me from processing i'm banned from the world for processing credit cards uh so me and a bunch of guys from the show made a it's a patreon on the blockchain that that you cannot be banned off of if the government puts a gun to my head i can't like i can't turn it off um that's just the way the blockchain works but uh yeah i think it's the future man it's the
Starting point is 01:48:16 technology of it that people don't respect enough they think it's like a gambling or speculation asset but it's really the the technology of a distributed ledger is is like a quantum leap in computing i can't i can't grasp enough of it but like i also just i have friends that are not the scamming type and are super smart computer type guys and you know they try and explain how nfts are still beneficial just not in the way that it is it is now not a way to like you know sell it as art or do like there's just other functions that i can't begin to grasp about it let me give you a good example so i'm i've been uh i started a company with a friend of mine from college and we will if you send us your collectible cards like magic pokemon mat uh
Starting point is 01:49:05 baseball cards we will store it in a vault and then we will give you an nft that represents your card so it's it's a it's um it's actually it's worth whatever the value of the card is because the card's safe but you can sell you can hold it you can send it to people uh you can buy and sell it on our platform that's like for two percent fees instead of like ebay's 20 fees or whatever they're charging now uh it's like and it's the right to the card itself also yeah so if somebody in 20 years comes to us says here's our here's my nft give me my card back we're like well there it is like cool yeah here's your car the picture is behind me it It's like a valley slip.
Starting point is 01:49:45 Yeah. These are all numbered. They're not just like a Walmart thing. It's signed by the guy, and it says like one of 20 or one of 25. And so I instantly recognized how the collector's aspect of NFTs. I just thought that it kind of got drowned out by board ape or whatever you know like yeah that turned out to be a scam exactly up by vc companies who just like giving them to celebrities and not telling anybody that nobody's buying this shit it's all like exactly and then people think that like oh nfts now you say nft and people are instantly turned off when i want a silly monkey smoking
Starting point is 01:50:25 a cigar when i hear exactly exactly i think of like you know i think about gamer youtubers that jumped in to make money off selling it or whatever uh and i i just always i wanted to see more of the progression of it but i feel like it's mainstream stunted now because the mainstream thing is that NFTs are scams. It's a scammer's thing. That's what scammers do. Cryptos for scams. All these coins are bullshit. I would never tell anyone to buy Bitcoin.
Starting point is 01:50:54 I'm happy I have Bitcoin. I believe in Bitcoin. I don't think you should buy any. So if you buy any and something bad happens, you're a fucking idiot, bro. Will you listen to the bacon guy on the internet not as I say not as I do Harley I wanted to ask
Starting point is 01:51:12 I want to completely change the topic because I'm tired of it you watched The Last of Us that's the best video game adaptation ever right yeah turns out not only the most accurate all we wanted was the fucking game. Name a couple other ones.
Starting point is 01:51:29 What are other good video game adaptations? Resident Evil? Resident Evil, I love the first movie. Resident Evil. But it wasn't directly the game Resident Evil. I think you just want me to name movies. Mortal Kombat movie? That was good.
Starting point is 01:51:43 I loved it. Back then, you liked Mortal Kombat. I liked the old one because it's cheesy and silly. Oh, wait, were we talking about the new one? I thought we were talking about 96. 96 is cheesy and fun. The new one, I fell asleep during the new one. I liked the beginning when you're
Starting point is 01:51:59 getting, I think, Scorpion's backstory back in feudal Japan or whatever the fuck. that was cool. But then as soon as we start fighting CGI chameleon guy, and I don't know, I have to believe that that woman can fight, then I just fell asleep on the couch. I specifically remember passing out on the couch with that movie. I thought Last of Us was great.
Starting point is 01:52:20 I thought it was exactly like the game, and I liked that. You guys have played Last of Us and Last of Us 2 never never never touched them oh so you guys don't know anything about Last of Us 2 I know that my main character is going to die so I'm not going to watch the second season it's so funny
Starting point is 01:52:39 when I watched when I played the game and the game is almost identical. So you remember at the end of spoiler alert for last of us one at the end when Joel goes in there and the guy's like, I could cure this disease. What are you doing? And he takes out the scalpel. And then Joel kills him. When I play that part in the game and I actually have it recorded, I was like, what the fuck am I doing?
Starting point is 01:53:04 I was like, I hate when i doing i was like i hate when i give the controller to the cut scene and then the character does some fucked up shit where i'm like whoa whoa whoa don't kill that guy because i i how many brain surgeons are left right exactly and then he could cure this if you'll fix it later think of the work he could do months down the road joel is like bam right in the face and then he lied to ellie about it he lied to her and i was like okay so i don't have a daughter so i don't know uh but maybe someone's like i'd kill the world for my daughter i've heard that before but would you kill the world and then be like i didn't kill the world honey
Starting point is 01:53:37 you know you're also gonna lie and then also parenting to lie to them constantly i don't know that we have a real father here. Standard boilerplate. So I didn't play the games at all, but the way that it was framed for the viewer of the show made it much easier for me to be
Starting point is 01:53:58 on Joel's side and be like, yeah, fuck these people. Because they went from flash banging him to killing her in surgery like that. there was no welcome to where we stay we've had a journey like this many hardships how was yours yes eat our food how was your night been well the surgery's tomorrow this is the doctor we don't get all of those people he merks in the hallways they're faceless um commando one two three four and five yeah but the thing is like why would they why would they give you all that you're joel they know you you're a fucking you've
Starting point is 01:54:35 been murdering people for 20 years we didn't know that you have some weird things that you've never opened up about that you never faced the fact that your daughter died and this is the only person you've had any emotional connection to i mean the makers of the tv show like i wish yeah like the way that it's laid out to the viewer is we get flash banged and then joel's like oh my head and they're like yeah we're killing her and i'm in operation right now get out of here the game's like that also i'm saying that's an unfair way to frame things But what do you mean That's what happened Like They wouldn't have done that They'd have been like hello Ellie
Starting point is 01:55:10 Welcome to where we stay We're going to talk to you about this They'd have made everybody feel good about the situation Before they went to killing people But Joel is like a fucking murderer He's just a sicko human murderer so like they don't they like woke up like he probably got out and marlene is probably like wait what the fuck you care about this girl because he's he's only been killing people so my thought was that they'd be like why because i would
Starting point is 01:55:39 be annoyed i'd be like well yeah i walked you here can i say goodbye before you cut open her brain i did fall in love with her as a daughter type thing so what the fuck they'd be like weird that's sort of character review instead he was like what the fuck bam bam bam i thought it was that that struck me as like i don't it felt to me you now you tell me that it's in the game like that but at the time i was like i bet if we didn't spend a whole episode having that lesbian tryst in the in the mall wasting megawatts of gigawatts of electricity that was bafflingly stupid that whole yeah that that in the game that's something that you get as a dlc like extra separate of ellie's background it wasn't in the actual game itself but that's when
Starting point is 01:56:27 decisions started to happen in the creative that people were like wait a second i thought this was a man's game now they're gay well the first gay episode was good because I like Nick Offerman and he's a good actor. But the second gay episode was like, what the fuck is going on? Like, I haven't seen a fungus zombie in like 60 minutes of screen time. And I'm learning about two characters that I could not conceivably care less about. And then, you know, there's nothing. Look, it's the apocalypse. No one cares about gay anymore, bro. Like, fucking suck his dick and get it over with.
Starting point is 01:57:03 Like, nobody cares there's no one left to care actually you know they might actually care a lot then they'd be like hey make sure more babies fucking contribute oh i see yeah we're running out of people because of the fungus and you're and you're not making babies they might be mad about that i i watched that episode and i thought it was a great episode and i was watching some of like their just like the sensual intimate moments and i was like um it was gay of me that i was uncomfortable in the moment watching it i was like fuck i'm like this is like what if i did this what if i had to act this i want to be an act like what like that's
Starting point is 01:57:40 hard which seems like one of them, it was maybe in the bed, and one of them just came off to me as, he was just gay, he was doing it, the guy from White Lotus, it was there, and I was looking at Nick Hoffman, I'm like, man, he's fucking acting. He's fucking
Starting point is 01:57:59 acting right now. I'm like, I don't know if I could do that. Like, he's, one of them was doing it that's like he and he was really good acting and you know it just had a another layer of believability to it but i kind of had this moment i was like shit like i don't know i don't know how i would be able to to do this like i you know you gotta like it's acting i'm like yeah i'll kiss a woman like i love her but then it's like shit this is really acting like kissing a man like believably believably exactly and that whole thing i was also super high so i was like caught in the month what's it like he's gonna smell like i spit in his mouth
Starting point is 01:58:36 but you know like like i think the hardest part about that it's gonna be the facial hair because that's gonna be so off-putting like because like like my like it's so bristly and sharp like like i i think it would hurt to kiss harley i don't kiss harley you have to taste my tongue i don't know about the beard you have to taste i bet oh my god here i just thought about this harley's tongue is so much bigger than mine i bet i bet invades my mouth and like bullies my tongue big bunches it around my tongue is so much bigger than mine, I bet. I bet it invades my mouth and bullies my tongue. My tongue is getting his little spoon to his tongue. Nah, my big retard tongue can't be bullied. I'll shove your tongue right back in your mouth.
Starting point is 01:59:16 I'm actually going in the other direction. I think both of you have great dick-sucking potential. I think so, too. Kissinging though. You took it to a dirty place. This is about romantic love between two men.
Starting point is 01:59:31 How much money can PKA Only fans make? You guys solo jerk videos. Triple jerk videos. If we got dirty with it we could bring in the bank. I'll say this. Our boy Finn. You know Fenster. Yeah I do. Do you know Finster, the Yeah, I do.
Starting point is 01:59:46 Do you, Dick? Dick, do you know Finster, the guy who dresses as a pretty girl but he's a straight man? He's got an OnlyFans and a big Twitch following? No, is this a friend of yours of the show? Yeah, friend of ours. Bring up a picture of him. Anyway, homeboy, he's a straight
Starting point is 02:00:01 cis man but he dresses like this for the internet. And his Only only fans right now I'm gonna guess is making $80,000 a month oh wow at least see this is what we were talking about I'd marry this guy yeah it's cool
Starting point is 02:00:18 80 grand a month is cool he's the one on the bottom he's the one on the bottom you're like the one on he's the one on the bottom he's the one on the bottom and honestly okay you're like the one on the bottom like i'm the same the one on the top spelled that fiend how close i saw that i thought that was a woman i was like i'll get i don't care about this shit some fucking new lesbian no that guy on the bottom he's a straight male like he's he's got a girlfriend i think i talked to him about this i'm like dude tell me about it you got to like cuddle up with the internet's number one
Starting point is 02:00:47 like girl he's like saw boob touched ass it was a good time and that was only episode one you know next time they collab they're gonna have to do more to keep raising the stakes that seems to be the trend remember like what was it three years ago when we talked about Belle Delphine originally and we were all blown away or we were
Starting point is 02:01:08 like she like puts on a bikini and she's making 1.2 mil a month and now like kyle will keep us abreast of this and he'll be like oh yeah she like sucks dick and like like is like it's all fucking her boyfriend but like it's full-on penetrative sex now does that yeah because you got to keep anchoring you got to keep lifting it up to keep people interested I imagine. Well yeah. Anyway. Somebody trained AI on
Starting point is 02:01:34 me and then made it do a bunch of gay porn and sent it to me. I'm like alright well thanks for that. I guess I don't have to wonder what that would look like. Was it like were you flattered? It gave me a flat stomach. It gave me nice arms. No, it was just a dick in my mouth. Oh, never mind.
Starting point is 02:01:53 I'm not wondering. I thought you were doing the penetration. That's not really AI. Give me my head right. I'm like, yeah, that's not for me. But if it was like, you know. Yeah, if you're the bound in some gay. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:02:07 But if you're going off pounding some some ass, you know, right. Maybe I could do that. Yeah, that would be that would be flattering. The dick in my mouth is like, I don't know if this is sexual for you or if it's just like funny. So it's not I'm not that flattered by it. But, you know, I don't want to encourage it either. Yeah. Taylor, why don't you tell everyone about FreezePipe?
Starting point is 02:02:27 Let's tell them about FreezePipe. Let's open the ad, which I have here. I've only had two hours to prepare for this, everyone. I do have to go early. I don't know if
Starting point is 02:02:41 Chiz told you guys that, but it was lovely fighting with you on Twitter. I don't know if Chiz told you guys that, but it was, uh, Harley, it was lovely fighting with you. Yeah. I hope we can fight again sometime. Yeah. You guys should box after Harley's done. There's ever a disagreement. I'm like,
Starting point is 02:02:53 bro, meet me on PK. I want to hear what Woody, Taylor and Kyle have to say about this. Yeah. I was like, you guys were like, I don't know,
Starting point is 02:03:02 man. Uh, I hope you, I hope you get in some good shots with uh with john you think you think he'll fuck me up well he's uh he's a he's a pretty rough character yeah he's a he's really fit he's a very fit guy i actually didn't think it through when I accepted the challenge. He can flip. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:03:31 Is he turning heel? The last time I talked to him, he goes, man, you're just such a good heel. You have that heel mindset. I wish I had it because it's so much fun what you're doing. I was like, well, that would be cool if you did flip. You should hit him up. Write some press conference roasts for me so at the press conference he could just come out the gate with fucking
Starting point is 02:03:49 chaotic energy yeah um yeah yeah have a good have a good fight man thank you yeah see you guys well you're gonna hear about it this episode of pka is brought to you by freeze pipe are you ready for 420 makers of the smoothest hitting pipes bubblers and bongs freeze pipe is running their biggest sale of the year going on right now until april 20th why buy a freeze pipe the secret is freezable glycerin chambers that come on every piece. Pop one of these chambers in the freezer for one hour, and as smoke passes through, it's instantly cooled by over 300 degrees. We're talking puffs so smooth, you'll check if the bowl is even lit.
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Starting point is 02:05:07 and say goodbye to harsh smoke forever. So check out the Freeze Pipe. That is linked below. Code PKA. Those things are really nice. They're very nice. They just sent us another one. It's heavy glass. If you were to drop it, I think most of the time it would survive. And
Starting point is 02:05:24 the fact that it gets cold is neat. I always would do that with pipes that weren't meant to do it. And it makes them extra brittle. And then when you bump them a little, they fucking shatter. I've had that happen twice before. And then your whole house stinks of bong water. It is a potent stink. It's a terrible, earthy stink.
Starting point is 02:05:42 Don't do that. Get yourself a freeze pipe. It's a really good conversation piece. And while you're sitting there fucking stone you're just gonna keep saying it's just so cold and smooth it's just so cold you'll keep saying that it's you'll keep saying it like it's it's really high quality like it doesn't like they say an hour in the read like i guess if you want it like fucking frozen yeah but that bitch in there. Yeah, you can leave it in for longer. But like it's – Continuously. That's what I do.
Starting point is 02:06:06 Like I have for the big bong because the big bong they sent us originally has the biggest ice chamber thing. I've got that freezing in my freezer now for after the show. Then they sent us like a little handheld one that's one piece that freezes except the bowl. Oh, you keep it in your household freezer? Yeah. Oh, see, I have this vessel that I keep my sperm in,
Starting point is 02:06:27 and it keeps things at negative 180 Kelvin, okay? Kelvin. So I leave my freeze pipe in there. I have to wear gloves when I handle it, and I'm not – of course, you can't put your lips to the – Your lips get stuck to it because it's so cold. I put another attachment on there that's room temperature, but there's nothing colder than that. Nothing colder than that. Have you frozen your sperm yet? You want
Starting point is 02:06:49 that young sperm stored away. No, I'm going to take the survivors, the ones late in the game, grizzled. You want to freeze those young, hardy sperm, the ones that are ruthless out there, just looking to just penetrate an egg later in life our sperm are more lackadaisical more uh more more likely to wear like a sweater vest even when you know more likely to cross their legs in that effeminate way where that's the way my sperm sit yeah like those are bernie sanders sperm but like that's what they look like that they've got this haircut and everything just a totally still flagella ah is the egg still there oh it's kind of dies in a puddle and the you know anyway freeze pipe check out bongs with with frozen parts and
Starting point is 02:07:40 uh and it gets you I mean it really does freeze it because it's just smoke going through a freezing ass bong and you will take hits bigger than the science checks out I just need to take one pretty big hit and I'm pretty solid for hours because you can take obviously much bigger
Starting point is 02:08:00 hits than you otherwise can because it's not harsh because it's cold because that's the science trust the science code PKA for 10 10 off the freeze pipe uh this episode also brought to you by real dbg.com real dbg.com hold on to your dicks folks we're going to need some parental advisory warnings for this one real dbg.com has got the goods and i'm not talking about candy we're talking about 100 milligrams of Delta-8 infused gummies, 50 milligrams of HHC gummies, one gram HHC and Delta-8 cartridges,
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Starting point is 02:09:37 You can just take a couple puffs and take it slow. The syrup also. I would not start with that. That shit's real deal. If you're at all nervous, don't start with the syrup also if i i would not start with that that shit's real deal uh if you're if you're at all nervous don't start with the syrup start with the one i like wacky weed wonky weeds yep i believe pka 23 still works over on wonky weeds as well that those gummies are a little if they're not sold out they're a little weaker but i know that uh people tend to go for the strongest gummies so the the real dbG 100 milligram Delta 8s are still the strongest. It's still the king on the block.
Starting point is 02:10:08 So if you buy those and you don't have a high tolerance, take it easy. Don't be a silly person and regret it. Also, this episode of PKA Lock and Load, you know it. We know it. It's the premium, premium ejaculation supplement that will help you be the man you want to be in the bedroom. The women in your life, the men in your life, everyone you're fucking is going to be like, oh my God, I'm impressed by this guy. He's virile. And so check it out. Nine pills a day, code PKA, code jizz over at GorillaMind.com. You can also get yourself the pre-workouts,
Starting point is 02:10:38 the protein powder, any of the other supplements over there, and of course, lock and load. And I believe, I don't know if they're available on Derek's site yet I should probably check but I've been getting shipments of like the new Gorilla Mind energy drinks and they taste great especially I've gotten the white flavor and the green flavor stuff like arctic white and like some kind of lime
Starting point is 02:10:57 and they're both good but I like the arctic white one the most so check those out on his website 5 and 10 calories is it one serving per can do you know one serving per can i believe yeah it's like it's 200 milligrams of caffeine which is a good level like like bang at 300 is too much but it's also got like all the derrick other shit in it where it's like it's got thiamin and this and that and efficacious dosages so check if you're over an energy drink you know who else would you trust? I trust Derek. He's smart and he's huge.
Starting point is 02:11:25 I do. Did you get energy drinks, Woody? I did. Damn it. Are you using the wrong energy drinks? No, send them to my old address again. Man, your old address has got energy drinks. This is the Christmas sweaters all over again.
Starting point is 02:11:38 The Christmas sweaters all over again. Yeah, you need to talk to him. Give him the new dress. And I was like, I was just making a big deal of it because I don't really want the Christmas sweater. He's like, no. I was like, no, no, I really don't want it. I'd never wear it. But this is my new address.
Starting point is 02:11:50 So I guess I don't get any energy drinks either. Yeah. Well, you'll get new energy drinks soon, hopefully. Because they're great. Check those out. I got the energy drinks, but I can't find the fucking 1099. Yeah. That's part of the fun. fun little guesstimation harley what have you been gaming recently any total war warhammer 3
Starting point is 02:12:14 no probably not he likes nerdy stuff no i do but not that not that level i'm not uh i did you got me you got me to get one once i forget both you guys were hyping it up once it may have been like age of empires no no no age mythology the the graphics were pretty good and you can like have like a thousand horse like running and you can form like set their formations up like is it like goblins and elves and shit no it's like a couple asians you know a couple asians haitians i'm kidding no no no asian um i forget which one it was but i played it and i was like oh i can never find the perfect amount of being high because i value the aspect of sitting there and thinking but then i get like really caught up and i'm like what if it's the wrong decision and then
Starting point is 02:13:13 i didn't game enough um but i can get caught up in the wrong things sometimes gaming if i if my level of highness isn't appropriate i just get as high as i can and and he and i play together so we can kind of hey hey you just need to ready up oh oh yeah we click the button how long have you been sitting there i don't know i don't know just click yeah see i get that high and then i'm like in warzone i'm like looking at like a tear gas grenade and a flash grenade and I have one spot left in my inventory and I'm like and then I get shot and I'm like scared I get shot I'm like oh fuck you know I don't know if you've ever been like really high playing a game and like passing
Starting point is 02:13:55 out almost but I've been like passing out and I just remember this one time old school ghost recon like passing out like lying down in the bushes and this motherfucker came right up behind me with a desert eagle like switch to the pistol which is like blam blam blam and i like jumped up in the couch i was like fuck oh fuck it felt real it was like my heart stopped like it fucked me up i scream like really high pitched when i when i jump scare in games and uh especially inarkov because
Starting point is 02:14:25 it sort of feels... There's crickets chirping. There's maybe light drizzling rain. It's very audio intensive. You're in an environment and then out of nowhere if you get shot in your helmet in the head and it hits you so loud and I've got my shit cranked to hear
Starting point is 02:14:41 a footstep from 50 meters. A gunshot to the fucking temple is loud. I'd scream and I've got my shit cranked to hear a footstep from 50 meters. So a gunshot to the fucking temple is loud. And so I'd scream and I'll hit my Windows key, my tilde. I'll, I keep my keyboard on its little stands. It's like tilted up toward me and I can set a flat. That'll collapse. Now I'm trying to fix all that shit while fighting. Like I'll completely lose it in a situation like that i'll legitimately
Starting point is 02:15:06 and i've screamed i mean the only time i'm so scared if i'm playing a first person shooter or something there's no point that i get too high but i've absolutely been too high playing like age of empires where like you just get to where like you look at and it's a game with like if you're good like 100 like well over 100 actions per minute so like if you zone out and you stare at the screen for like a minute you are i'm like i haven't been making villagers for a minute like and you just panic and you're like i'm so far behind i don't like that. Kyle likes to get high, like he said. Like, we will play Total War, and he'll just go until he – there's no upper limit. Kyle just wants to keep getting higher.
Starting point is 02:15:51 I peter out a certain time, and if I smoke more, it's like I'm definitely going to game worse. I can hear it in your voice. You're like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then you're like, let's roll this next game, and so I can take advantage of it. Kyle and I were so high just're like, let's roll this next game. And so I say you can take advantage of it. Kyle and I were so high just yesterday that we had been on for like an hour and a half.
Starting point is 02:16:10 And we hadn't even played a game one on one yet. We kept just going into matches like, wait, let's bring these and see how much we can fuck up this thing. It's like, yeah, that's cool. We're just watching shit fall apart. A guy will come in there like a patron or something. And I'm sorry that I don't know what I'm doing. It's taking a long time. I said, dude, we're all so stoned right now.
Starting point is 02:16:29 Nobody's waiting on you. I don't have pants on yet. We're like, I'm distracted. We have a good time. And so someone will pop in the chat and be like, hey, Taylor, I wanted to ask you something. And like three minutes later, it will register that someone asked me. I'm like, oh like i'm sorry i was managing my flesh hounds of corn around the map and i i wasn't able to
Starting point is 02:16:51 answer your question yeah i'm having a blast that game a ton uh the the dlc drops tomorrow tomorrow at 8 a.m all night at 8 a.m playing yeah no well maybe i don't know i'll play after the show some but uh but yeah that's definitely the game that i've been obsessed with lately but um it's always i've been resident evil 4 remakes one of the best remakes ever played really i always loved that first one yeah it's so great and what's so funny about our stupid fucking silly human brains is i put on resident evil 4 and i look at leon and i see him standing there from the back in his jacket. And I just remember, you know, my buddy, I was like, I can't explain it to you. It looked exactly like this in my stupid brain in 2006 on GameCube.
Starting point is 02:17:31 That's what it looked like. So I'm looking at this and I know that the technology is so different, but my memory of it, it hit like that. And I remember Resident Evil 4 when I saw the commercial for it back in the day on GameCube, I had done all the research of which system I wanted, and I chose an Xbox. Even though I loved PlayStation 2, I really liked Halo. And I was never going to contemplate GameCube. N64 did me dirty with the ugliest library of games.
Starting point is 02:17:57 And then I saw the Resident Evil 4 commercial on TV and was like, oh, fuck. This game looks insane. I was the third person with him having the gun out with the laser and I was just like oh fuck. I was like that for Gears of War 1. I remember seeing that commercial, that really good commercial sent to
Starting point is 02:18:17 Mad World. Is it Gary Jules? I think Gary Jules sings Mad World. And it's all around me a familiar face and he's picking up the half oh that was half the face of the statue and then he he like looks up like it's so well that was a crazy commercial because yeah i was in game engine so you knew it was the video game yeah and it was crazy because like my dad and my brother were like what's that game like they asked with the giant spider and i'm like oh you saw the
Starting point is 02:18:45 gears of war commercial they're like yeah i was playing on football like every every commercial and they're not gamers at all but they're like that game looks cool and i was like so funny just the perfect song and amount of visual that they showed to sell it it is definitely one of the best video game commercials ever yeah we've had that discussion a bunch of times and i'm super passionate about it like that and the halo um the the halo 3 stuff all that stuff they did all that diorama shit all that like stuff in the future with the old like veterans of the war they had the holocaust survivors they're like the master chief liberated the camps yes yes i don't know much about the
Starting point is 02:19:27 halo fight he didn't liberate the champs and half his face is from the plasma i did like yeah never mind i like the call of duty commercials kyle was in one but like the then that noob divette guy who made the transition at first he like barely knew how to throw a grenade and then by the end of the commercial series he was a pro yeah I don't think I ever saw that commercial why it's a chubby guy I bet it'd ring a bell if you saw it maybe I might you were really
Starting point is 02:19:55 into cod at the time it came out yeah I like I like video game trailers that have really good voice acting like if you if you watch like I know it's just because the game we're into now but like i'm into age of empires also they don't have cool trailers ever like they're not good because it doesn't have cool warhammer is amazing warhammer trailers they have like they don't need a dude who's a voice yeah you don't need to be into the game
Starting point is 02:20:19 they didn't hire a guy who's like oh you're around the office you kind of have a grizzled voice you can be this guy no they like hire the highest quality voice actors. It's it's unreal how good like the demons and the monsters and everything sound, even like the the elves and everything have like a regal tenor to their voice. Like it's I appreciate that in a trailer. Like when Nurgle that fucking disgusting beast, the gurgle way he talks. It's like, yeah, now i'm in that world like that is how he would talk but i like i like trailers that that are building the single player world um those man those those halo trailers it was like yeah i got some business to take care of
Starting point is 02:20:57 i gotta be there at midnight to get the game so i can straighten master chief out there's fucking coming at cocksuckers are going down tonight I'm not going to sleep until they're dead. That's how I felt. I was at that store, and I feel like everybody felt that way that was in that goddamn GameStop. Maybe not that stinky cocksucker that was ruining the experience for everyone, but driving home with that game, I was so excited to go handle some business with Master Chief
Starting point is 02:21:22 because there was a lot of business to handle at the end of Halo 2. You're going to finish the fight. Finishing the fight, sir. Oh! And the game is... And it's just like, oh no, not credits. How long do I have to wait? I was super into that one.
Starting point is 02:21:41 And then Gears even more so. I remember even the third trailer when they're running through the bodies that it's dead people who are now i don't know what the word turned to ash and they're like crashing through them you think it's snow falling but it's the ashes of dead bodies that have burned that trailer is good when they're going when they're drilling down to like take the fight to the enemy to the flood um not the flood the uh wherever the enemy is called the locust swarm down below uh all that shit all the all three gears trailers um and all three uh or not all three but the halo 3 campaign period was just so fucking good nothing has ever
Starting point is 02:22:17 gotten me so hyped to give them my money as i remember like i don't think anything mobilized me as much into the video games as metal gear solid has like when i played metal gear solid the first one and i beat that on playstation i remember being like you know i was like 12 years old at the time 13 i remember being like oh i'm gonna play games forever like i'm gonna do this all the time. That was better than any movie or book or show. That was the craziest thing. I can't believe these are games. Sucks that that's still my top three favorite games was that experience.
Starting point is 02:22:54 I was like, I can't wait to see what the future holds. No, turns out I experienced one of the best. Literally, my first game that I beat beginning to end completely on my own with no friends or anything was Metal Gear Solid. First movie I in theaters was terminator 2 i was like i love movies i love games that was my first experience he's never seen terminator 2 who taylor oh that's so much fun i'm pretty sure i've seen most of one on tv so i shame him you could actually see the tv version of one you could watch some of best movie. You don't need one. You actually could skip one.
Starting point is 02:23:27 You could watch one of the best movies ever. It's my favorite movie ever. Why would you skip one? I could still watch... What's that one with fucking Bruce Willis? The action series? No, I have seen Die Hard. I've seen that.
Starting point is 02:23:43 Are you talking about Die Hard? Lethal Weapon. That's Mel Gibson. hard i've seen that i've only seen because that's not lethal weapons i haven't okay that's mel gibson yeah i haven't seen that good this is such a better movie than any it's such a better movie than that yeah this is like this is literally one of this is like the best jump right to terminator 2 i'm a hundred a hundred you won't there's nothing to be confused about she'll never keep up with the plot of terminator i don't know what's going on here who's the terminator terminator one could actually confuse a couple people yeah it yeah look terminator one and two are very good it's just like it just like the alien movies i think the first alien uh movie is a horror movie the second one's an movie. And the same is pretty much true for Terminator movies.
Starting point is 02:24:26 And those are the good ones. You could skip every other Terminator and alien movie and you haven't missed very much. I recently rewatched the Covenant movie and the whatever the other one was. Prometheus. I watched this back to back. Man, when you watch those with like your arms crossed, you'll be like, why are you doing that? Why are you taking your helmet off? Why are you going there?
Starting point is 02:24:47 What the fuck are you doing? Double check his work. Double check his fucking work. No, don't run. Don't run. Stay together. Every step of the way, it's like white teenagers in the woods. It's that kind of a storyline, but it's supposed to be the best of the best.
Starting point is 02:25:03 A trillion dollars is on the line on this program. That's what it costs to send you 30 people to this fucking plan, a trillion fucking dollars. You better believe they had some real stringent hiring practices. Can I tell you something? People are freaking out right away. This was my biggest issue when I saw it. It was my biggest issue, and i watched it near the end of pandemic
Starting point is 02:25:25 and a lot of my issues have changed i was like i promise you 30 people one asshole smarty pants is going to take his helmet off to prove to us that he could do it that's the type of ego that we did back then i was like probably took his helmet off you're a super scientist here's what blew my mind and then another thing another thing this much money best believe nepotism is involved these are not the best people for the job it's political they're fucking goofy ass hirings they didn't get the best of the best people i don't know wayland utani a lot of i just i just think about it now i think about it now i'm like we would fuck that up. We would fuck up the hiring. We would waste the money. It's a private company. All right,
Starting point is 02:26:07 let's say all, but, but, but here's the thing that the guy that really blows my mind, there's this redheaded geologist and he's Scottish, I think for no reason at all. And he's just like, they get there on the alien planet.
Starting point is 02:26:17 They go inside an alien shit and he sees something that upsets him. Maybe in a dead alien body, which is what they're there for. They had a briefing. We're here to find the aliens. And it blows his mind. He's like, I'm here for fucking rocks, not bloody aliens. And he's like, I'm getting out of here.
Starting point is 02:26:37 And him and another guy who's beta as fuck. And he's like, yeah, I'm here for linguistics. There's no one to talk to. Or whatever he was there for. Some other shit. Should other shit and slap they pair up and leave the group so when it's time to go home to the mothership because the storms are brewing literally like a storm oh my god these two get left in the ship and the radio back they're like yeah you guys got left fucking behind huh well and they're like laughing about it. Better get cozy. Cuddle up together. What are we making?
Starting point is 02:27:07 Yeah. Yeah. Spend the night there. It should have been like follow protocol. So I was like, what a miscalculation. You guys are spending the night. Helmets on like you literally you have a ship. Why would you like?
Starting point is 02:27:21 How could you not plan? It's just like they decided after lunch. Like you guys want to go to the pyramid ship. I make a package. Let's go fucking do it right now. ship why would you like how could you not plan it's just like they decided after lunch like so you guys want to go to the pyramid ship grab make a package let's go fucking do it right now oh no you traveled for years we can't no no we can we can absolutely wait for them to get back sure oh no there's not a date we have up in lower uh lower fucking orbit and the problem there is writing it's stupid writing it's the writer saying no one will question it just move the plot forward
Starting point is 02:27:45 because we have we need to get to the part where someone gets an alien inside of them however we get there but remember those days you got to come up with a smart premise for how they don't you remember how do you fool them into going there how do you fool them into getting their helmets off how do you fool them into like acting out of character. These are these button-up, military, best of the best, yes, sir, motherfuckers, that you know in real life would be like, sir, I haven't taken my helmet off in 15 fucking years. You're out of your goddamn mind. Don't you
Starting point is 02:28:13 ever take your helmet off in my presence. It'd be like that. And you'd slap a civilian. You'd get an order. There wouldn't be any horse shit wandering off. You wouldn't be like, wow, a novel worm. I'm going to let you know right now, you breach my perimeter and leave us behind. I cannot secure this package. You walk away.
Starting point is 02:28:27 You are the enemy. Get back in line, civilian. It would be like that. You're not walking away. We're in an alien spaceship. We're light years from home. A trillion dollars on the line. You can't leave the goddamn room.
Starting point is 02:28:36 They just needed one really serious guy. Like a guy who took that shit seriously could have kept them in check. I get what you're saying with like, oh, the nepotism and like it would have been maybe like a shitty nephew here or there but like when they find the whole thing it's not like the worm that they found in that initial cavern was like my god it's a it's an inch long worm of of this planet i'm going to name it no it already it had uh it had a prehensile fanged mouth from the get-go. It wasn't a reveal of being a terrible
Starting point is 02:29:10 thing. It was like, let me play with this terrible thing. That part was stupid, and I also didn't like how shredded the alien was. That was confusing. The thing about... You know that was a real person? That's not CGI, right? That's a cgi right that's a
Starting point is 02:29:25 bodybuilder that they painted white that is a dude he looks like that not the head obviously they put some shit on his head because that dude from sunny who plays the bodybuilder that guy's incredibly built was he in 300 like that that guy's absurd look should have been he would have kicked gerard butler right of there. I like Gerard Butler. He made so many shitty movies. After 300, I was of an age where I was like, ah, Gerard Butler, he's my guy now. I'll think good things for him going forward.
Starting point is 02:29:53 I bet he'll make more good movies. And he just made one shitty movie after another after another. He made that White House down movie. Every now and then, Hollywood will duplicate a script. Two movies the same year about the White House going down and the president needing to be saved. Yeah. I got paid a large sum of money
Starting point is 02:30:14 by those people to make a video for them. But then there was a school shooting the week my video was supposed to go live. They were like, you keep the money. Don't mention us. Damn. Make it out like froggy fresh over here and and so and so instead of my video being called white house down presents it's called weapons of the secret service or secret service weaponry or some shit like that why am i wearing a goddamn suit like like why am i acting like i was fucking secret service
Starting point is 02:30:42 i have a bald cap on yeah no that was a different no that was a hit man yeah that was ridiculous my mother didn't recognize me when i went to her uh school i like peeked in her room it's like hello she's like hello sir can i help you i was like mother it is it's me it's me oh that was great that thing um i can't remember what that cost to get put on, that bald cap. I had somebody. He worked on Walking Dead. I remember that now.
Starting point is 02:31:12 He came to my house in Gumlog and put the whole thing on and airbrushed it and everything. He had that disease that Susan Sarandon has where you have that bug eye thing. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Did it upset you or that's just what you remember no but he mentioned he's like yeah i have the susan sarandon bug eye disease as he's like fixing my head up and everything he's a real chill guy like
Starting point is 02:31:36 he got to he was telling me stories about working on the walking dead and this is when walking dead was like in its heyday this is 2012 or something damn so you still have high hopes for that show dude i you know i had high hopes for that show i used to go to view watching parties for that show i used to show up to events for that goddamn show with people with hushed awe as that shit would debut for us uh yeah that that that's top three most disappointing pieces of media all time i'll tell you what number one in is it's deadwood i'm re-watching deadwood right now it's the western about deadwood montana i think it's it's incredible sounds right the the language is it has its own um very eloquent but crude old-timey language they
Starting point is 02:32:20 use they're very verbose even the dumbest of characters are well spoken and in their own kind of way and it's really good love deadwood but as you fall in love with it just know they got canceled at the last season and they were unable to they they they were like edging you they're edging you and it's just it's time to come okay because here's here's what happens all of the good guys get together for the first time ever because this is a rough and rowdy bunch. We all have different ideas
Starting point is 02:32:51 about the way things should be. They all get together and solidify against the big bad who's outside influence wanting to steal our land and gold. He's got an army of shooters coming. All of our badass good guys, Legolas and G and gimley the whole
Starting point is 02:33:06 crowd is there they're showing up and then they got canceled so the next episode they're like the good guys are like well i'll be moving on then and they're like right away and a stage coach you're like whoa what happened there was supposed to be a fight. Like a Death Star type scene was coming. If you're watching semi-shitty unfinished TV shows from 15 years ago, maybe check out Wednesday. You haven't seen it yet. It's fun.
Starting point is 02:33:34 No, thanks. Oh, I watched that. Did you like it? Was it good? Yes, it was fun. It was good. I didn't regret that. I didn't regret watching yeah this is fine that's good i didn't regret that i didn't regret watching that i like that doesn't sound like an endorsement though you didn't regret it yeah because like for me like there's so much tv these days i can't say to anyone to watch
Starting point is 02:33:55 anything unless you've seen succession you're caught up on succession that's the one i tried watching that and i couldn't get into it the dialogue is so jarring it only gets it only gets better the way that brian cox who i like a lot the way that he and his like children communicate is so jarring disjointed and unnatural that it takes me out of it you say it only gets better is it is that kind of accepted by the fan base that maybe the early episodes of the first season don't haven't hit that tone yet because i don't talk to these fucking idiots on the internet anymore all right well you're doing it right now well let me say i know you guys from the internet i mean here we are from my point of view if i were trying to get somebody into like fucking star trait the next generation my favorite
Starting point is 02:34:37 tv show i would say first two seasons they haven't really figured out what's going on yet skip season three and then when you circle back you'll love the characters already so you'll you'll you'll let let it go what happens in season one and two all the weird shit season one i think is still good i still think season one is very good i do think taylor's point also holds up their their means of communication is really uh just like i've met a couple people that are almost like this that speak in a way that like uh like people that i've met in hollywood agents i'd be like um hey man what's up how you doing how are things ah you know powering through on the grind always making things happen because the grind don't stop 24 7 and you're like yeah sure how's the family the fam jams doing their thing they always do being the fam and you know me i'm a dad old and it's like everything is a fucking saying or an analogy or it's everything and i'm
Starting point is 02:35:38 like anyways yeah i just uh wanted to call yeah hey bro appreciate you touching base I'm going to circle back when I come back up for air and it's like bro just fucking speak speak normally they're kind of only in professional settings and they work with their family so they get this like really dramatic hard ass
Starting point is 02:36:00 blunt super rich cocky type of thing that comes off like what's his name writes like that um like on the west wing where it's like everything's like the next sentence already has everyone has the best sentence response back everyone has a fucking line i love the west wing yeah well i i think i think it's a little like that if you could bear that i think you would like this oh i love that if it's it gets better it's even better and the characters are really really good they're really like smart snappy dialogue that takes me and that show with katie holmes from ages ago was like that what was it
Starting point is 02:36:35 called yeah katie holmes uh she was a teenager dawson's creek dawson's creek dawson's creek and gilmore girls both had like perfect snappy, over-the-top, no one's this clever dialogue. But I kind of enjoyed it anyway. Yeah. West Wing. If I wanted to get someone into Succession, what I usually say is it's better than
Starting point is 02:36:58 Breaking Bad. What? Yeah, and I do believe that. And I always say that. I'm like, I think it's a better show than Breaking Bad. I've only seen Breaking Bad once. It would infuriate me to go back and watch it again because there are times when I just hate Skyler so much and I hate his family so much for not just getting on board with...
Starting point is 02:37:17 Look. Yeah, he's cool. If I had someone... No, you know what I mean. I know he's the bad guy. No, if he were making $300 a month selling meth, yeah, that'd be lame. First of all, I'm imagining
Starting point is 02:37:30 he's my father, so you all imagine that he's your father. Now imagine not only is he your father, but he's the smartest guy you've ever met. And not only is he the smartest guy you've ever met, he might be the smartest guy most people have ever met. Your dad's a certified fucking genius.
Starting point is 02:37:45 And he's got pizza on the roof. An artist. It's like, wait a minute. Like, maybe for a second, I should stop fucking around and listen to what dad wants. He did give me that car. It's like, bro, you're a child. Maybe dad. I can't believe you've been selling me.
Starting point is 02:38:09 believe you've been selling me i would have if i'm his chubby wife or his or his handicapped son when my genius dad comes clean i'm like father you will know best i i can only trust in you to lead us through this and tell me what i need how can i make this easier what do you need from me what do you need from me no one ever all need from me? No one ever said that. Quality testing, I'm in. No one ever said anything like that. When they hear Uncle Hank is dead, the wife immediately is like, oh, well, then Walt is dead to me.
Starting point is 02:38:33 That's your husband. You should be like, all right, what do we do now? By the way, Marie's here. I've been letting her listen to the call. We got to deal with her. She should be killing Marie right there. She should be with fucking Walt. I don't understand why everybody...
Starting point is 02:38:45 He should send her to Hank. He should send her to Hank. Yeah, yeah. I would have set that up with Walt. That's how that phone call would have really gone. He's like, yeah, tell Marie she can see Hank. He's here with me. Bring her here.
Starting point is 02:39:00 And then they should have offed Marie in the desert next to Hank. And then they can take on the FBI and those white supremacists get our money back. That would have helped. I'd have dropped that kid long ago, though. I don't recall the white supremacist point. I think it was cartels. But no, no, no, no. The cartels, right.
Starting point is 02:39:15 There are white supremacists in the show. Yeah, they're the main problem at the end. I forgot about the guy. I forgot they were also white supremacists. But one where he says, you know, my name, say it, say my name. You're Heisenberg, you're goddamn right. They're the white supremacists. No, that was a different gang guy.
Starting point is 02:39:32 The white supremacist was the uncle gang, the uncle group of that redhead guy who's Fat Damon. Is it white supremacist or white supremacist? I said it wrong. It's white supremacist. Okay supremacist? I said it wrong. It's white supremacist. Okay. I wasn't sure. I prefer the shorter version.
Starting point is 02:39:50 The supremacies. That's not shorter. Supremacy. Well, I think it's probably just Nazi. I'll never rewatch that show just because I'll be frustrated rewatching Breaking Bad. Yeah, I'm not excited to look at the the family stuff again really uh but i did i did re-watch succession i thought it was much better the second watcher the things that i were kind of like not really picking up on the
Starting point is 02:40:15 first time around i thought the second time around i'll give it a try because i do need a new show i am watching an old ass show that has a bad ending but i'm telling you it's really fucking good it would show at last it's deadwood yeah that's right yeah you're just talking about that yeah uh but yeah i need something new i'm not watching any more of that star wars nonsense i'm done you guys watch atlanta uh i haven't heard of it atlanta's the donald glover show i don't I'm not familiar with it. We're awful. It's black. So I'm not surprised.
Starting point is 02:40:49 I know all about Atlanta. I choose not to watch it. We're all very white here. Carly, it is. You know what it is. It's a really good show. And sometimes it's not. Sometimes there's like King of the Hill.
Starting point is 02:40:59 It has a few like anthology style episodes that aren't really sequential or part of the story that kind of play out like uh kind of like a black mirror type vibe but it's you know racially oriented it is but it is honestly it's better than breaking bad but i'm very there's no way it's better than breaking bad i think it's just as good i do i i it's an incredible maybe i like breaking You might just have a low opinion of Breaking Bad. I have a good opinion of Breaking Bad. I think Breaking Bad starts off
Starting point is 02:41:31 very well and most importantly ends perfectly. So perfectly that I actually never watched all It's All About Saul because I actually thought Breaking Bad was so perfect. I was like, I like that. I don't want to have a bad feeling. And now I have friends call me up and they're like, bro, I hate to tell you, it's better than Breaking Bad. That's literally what I hear.
Starting point is 02:41:50 And I'm like, is it actually? People are like, yeah, it is. It's actually better than Breaking Bad. What did you think about? Did you see the deep fake? Or I wouldn't say deep fake, but the Super Bowl commercial with Walter White and Jesse cooking up the chips and everything. I didn't realize that they did that. Yeah, they're tremendously
Starting point is 02:42:08 de-aged. Their heads didn't look like they fit their bodies quite right. It's always a little weird, eh? A little touch off. They're not that much older than they were then. Yeah, they are. When was it, like 2010? Yeah, it's like 15 years. Oh, okay, 15 years.
Starting point is 02:42:23 He was an older guy and how old's how old's um who plays walter why jesse pinkman uh no brian cranston brian cranston thank you yeah he's got 60s when i watched those two i thought that brian cranston was fine because he always played an old person right like you can go from 55 to 65 or whatever he did and you know still roughly get away with 55 if you try but at uh what's jesse pinkman's actor's name aaron paul right aaron paul those age those years you can't undo you can't be like 35 and play 25 like they're just oh yeah oh not yet here's what's coming i want to talk about this uh this is the future we're gonna get a fucking de-aged william shatner captain kirk tv
Starting point is 02:43:13 show mark my words it's fucking coming do you want fucking coming oh i want it so bad i want so bad huge now he's fed he'll be completely defaked he won't be there just like that okay yeah i get it but but they'll i'm but they've got so much of him they can just take his voice He'll be completely de-faked. He won't be there, just like that Bruce Willis character. Yeah. But they've got so much of him. They can just take his voice and they can do that Mark Hamill thing they did in Mando. Right? They'll make a fake him. In season, in the Boba Fett TV show that I know you guys didn't
Starting point is 02:43:38 watch. Good for you. They show the updated version of Luke Skywalker, like fake Luke Skywalker. It fake Luke Skywalker. It's really good. They got better from Mando to Boba Fett. I would watch movies like that. Did you watch Outdoor?
Starting point is 02:43:55 I tried, man. I really tried. When they got to that Scottish chubby guy, he was great. He was like the sergeant. The main guy just couldn't carry it for me and i didn't care it seemed like it was all about his goddamn sister and i didn't care about that and i i just checked out dude it wasn't for me yeah was that is that
Starting point is 02:44:15 so you only felt like episode one and two or something like that right maybe three episodes i think i gave it three yeah i i tried star wars breaking bad show this is literally better than star wars breaking bad and there's nothing really good about outdoor i was not i was not in the fucking mood i was like done with boba fett and i and obi-wan was just hard to like get and i my scars from the new sequel haven't healed yet and i just like what's that you hated the new star wars i i really liked force awakens i thought uh jj abrams did something really tricky uh he introduced characters that i cared about i liked ray finn and poe then i saw the last jedi and i was like whoa crazy decisions i've never seen star wars be so bold hold Hold on. Let them finish.
Starting point is 02:45:10 And then J.J. Abrams came back in and just pissed himself for that last one. And I was like, now that this last one's out, I hate the two before it. Yeah. Now that the last one's out, I thought you had a fucking flat matrix. Imagine you're fucking. Imagine you're Johnny Disney and you're posted up. You're like, can't wait to hear this, uh, this star Wars script.
Starting point is 02:45:28 And JJ Abrams comes in. He's like, here's episode seven. And you're like, Hey, just episode seven. He's like, yeah, we're going to make up eight and nine later,
Starting point is 02:45:35 but this is how it's going to start. I'd be like, no, go back. All is one, but they didn't do that. Not only that episode seven, you read the whole thing i'd be like where
Starting point is 02:45:47 why is luke skywalker not in the movie jj abrams said that he felt that luke skywalker was stealing every scene he was in and i was like oh sounds like a pretty fucking good problem buddy yeah i was like you don't want your movie to be too cool? Yeah, you don't want that character everybody likes. Reminds me of The Dark Knight. Remember the Joker? Yeah, you remember the Joker. We love that. We love when someone comes and steals a scene, especially when they have decades of buildup.
Starting point is 02:46:16 What'd you do? J.J. Abrams put him on an island for 25 years, handed the script off to Rian Johnson. Rian Johnson was like, why is he on an island and jj was like i don't know man figure it out he learned from yoda but i would have been like i would have been like bro don't give me a fucking episode seven with no luke skywalker and if he was like i don't know how to write him i'd be like i don't fucking care you don't need to do much buddy but what you got to do is we got harrison. We have Mark Hamill.
Starting point is 02:46:45 We have Princess Leia. We have all of these people alive. We need them to fucking hug. It was too late. It was too late for all that shit. They should have made that shit in 2005. Regardless, you got them alive. Let them meet.
Starting point is 02:47:01 I guess so. You know, they're bringing Ray back for new sequels. Yeah. I just read that today recently i don't mind i don't give a shit anymore what i think what did you want from luke what did you want him to do like if you were to write it because i was glad luke never i never had an issue with how they did everything up until the end of episode eight can i give you a script for lu? Yeah. Have Luke be turning the cheek. Every moment of the movie. Have him being harassed. In a small setting.
Starting point is 02:47:33 It doesn't need to affect the whole galaxy. That's for the next movie. He's on this world. Just trying to be his. In the nomad man self. But they're just slapping around. Pissing in his face, the whole fucking movie.
Starting point is 02:47:48 But you've got a character there, maybe a droid. He's like, sir, why do you allow them to treat you this way? And he hits him with that Jedi wisdom over and over about some, and then at the end, when they go too far
Starting point is 02:47:58 and they rape murder, like his droid, then he like zoom, but it's not the green saber. It's the red one. He's got the red one. And he fucking like cuts them all down, but not just the men, but the women and the
Starting point is 02:48:14 children. Kyle, your talents are wasted on this show. I want to watch that movie. Do that for me. If you're going to ruin Luke Skywalker, turn him to the fucking dark side. Don't let him go out like a bitch. They didn't to the fucking dark side don't let him go like a bitch they didn't ruin luke skywalker nor did they make him look like a bitch and i'll tell you exactly how the only way he was ruined was jj abrams put him on the island for 25 years
Starting point is 02:48:35 and didn't think through why so what ryan johnson did with that i think was extremely talented as a writer and i think as a director i think he made a visually pleasing star wars yeah there's very ugly scenes like the casino stuff or whatever but what i liked about this is going into episode 789 we were always like luke skywalker's a god he'll fucking blow up the death star with his mind he could fucking he could bring down a star destroyer and crumple it up into a fucking ball he's the ultimate jedi that's how i always felt so going into 79 i'm like i need luke skywalker when there's like a fucking whoever these new first order stormtroopers are when they raid like a fucking rebel ship and there's like a thousand of them and they all come in with their guns and they shoot their blasters i want it all to freeze like professor x style luke skywalker
Starting point is 02:49:19 walks in the music zone yeah and it's like quiet and everyone's frozen but luke luke is normal and he can just walk through and he grabs his friends and he like takes them out or maybe he goes and he fucking slices them all like but they're just they can't even compete with the level he's at he's a god he's a fucking god that's all i thought about and then seven came out and they didn't even give it to us i'm like what's it gonna be what's going to be and this was the beauty of episode eight that a lot of people i i i recognize was not delivered clear like in a in a in a way that is processed to everyone but i processed it this way i thought luke was a god episode eight comes out he's a fucking man he's a human being and people are like he fucking almost killed kylo
Starting point is 02:50:07 luke who couldn't kill his own dad who was so bold to tell the emperor no i am a jedi he almost killed his son i could tell you that like the amount that i've changed from 20 years old to 37 is huge i could just imagine from 20 to 65 you get sick as shit as a human being you do get sick of shit and also as a young male you are more bold my attitude on epic meal time or even coming on a pka was way more bold when i was younger compared to now and luke is just a fucking human but here was the beauty in ryan what ryan johnson did luke is just a human being and he's not the god that i thought he was but he used his force to stand in front of the first order there and get blasted by all those atsts the super ones and he dodged on kylo his friends escaped he wasn't even there and what I thought was so amazing about that was they showed the kid playing with the toy at the end.
Starting point is 02:51:07 Remember the wooden toy? And he was like, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. And I'm like, look what they did. They got the Chinese money. They made Luke. They made Luke. No, there was a wooden toy. It was made in America.
Starting point is 02:51:22 Real America. I thought you were doing like a Chinese child accent. Oh, no, it was made in america real america i thought you're doing like a chinese child accent oh no it was not it was no it was a it was a twilight accent um but anyway so the uh the the kids like playing he's like jedi master luke skywalker he thinks luke is a god and they show that to us so in the universe of star wars luke skywalker is the god that we thought he was us the audience we went in there thinking that luke is going to stand in front of five s atsts with no fucking lightsaber and they're going to blast him and it's not going to do shit but he's not a god he's a human being we the audience are in on that but to the rest of the galaxy he's the
Starting point is 02:52:06 fucking next level jedi god that we thought he was because the kid saw him stand in front of the atsts and he plays with the toys and now what i loved about it was they nixed the bloodline nothing is ever good from a bloodline and i like that ray was a nobody i hate that they doubled back on that i love that like luke the skywalkers existed and i love that they were inherently an evil family not a good family and maybe that's what the force need who knows what i have no idea where it was going to go where it could have gone and i just hate that a lot of things were doubled back on so it makes everything that i'm hyping up stupid now. Can I tell you about a better way to handle that scene?
Starting point is 02:52:50 Because it's from a movie called V for Vendetta. At the very end of that movie, V is standing in front of the big bad guy and all of his henchmen, and he's letting them know that he has the upper hand, and the bad guy kind of scoffs at him. He's like, what are you going to do with all your, all you have is your karate and your knives? We have guns.
Starting point is 02:53:08 And he says, no. You have your bullets. And the hope that when they're all gone, I'm not still standing. And then he starts fucking running toward them in slow motion while they light him up. And he kills them all in slow motion with knives and shit.
Starting point is 02:53:25 And at the end of that scene, it's revealed he did have body armor on, but they killed him. He's mortally wounded. He's given his life to do that crazy thing. I'm okay if Luke does that. They're always batting away those fucking things. Let him go no defense mode, like full offense into, I don't know, all those goddamn ad ads.
Starting point is 02:53:43 I just wanted to see him go out. I don't want to. I know what I didn't want let me just disappear i've been quiet for 15 minutes so i didn't want old fucking super fat fat fucking fat lord of shit mark hamill who was a good 300 pounds too fucking fat to play that role to be some superhero this legend that we were talking about no he's a washed up old man who let himself go and he can't be an action hero anymore don't ask me to believe that luke fat walker luke fat crawler whatever he is at this point can possibly do anything to the the empire no he's washed up he's a worthless fat piece of shit and he needs to be in that role so what they did with him i thought was better than what they did with like cgi yoda
Starting point is 02:54:33 which i also enjoyed but if they did that to luke skywalker and made that fat piece of shit some sort of flipping lightsaber savant who could take on battle stars by himself i see what you're saying i don't want that i get that i watched a lot of men and they need to know their role i liked what i liked also about last jedi and what i also hate what i found out is apparently at the end of the force awakens when she gives luke the lightsaber jj had him turn it on luke sky waddle that's what i could have came up with i'm a minute late luke sky waddle but he wasn't fat he was fat he was he gave it he lost a lot of weight but he was still fat but listen he he jj abrams had luke turn on the lightsaber at the end of force awakens in last jedi ryan johnson
Starting point is 02:55:20 got that cut and was like you have to change the ending and jj was like why and he was like because in my cut he throws it over his shoulder so if he turns it on it's not going to make sense that's how like discombobulated and disjointed these idiots were making a fucking three-piece movie that's how it was he showed it to me he's like you can't do that it's like how the fuck did you not know this how'd you you guys not discuss this? But what I thought was interesting and people hated him tossing the lightsaber to Woody's point, I recognized right then and there. I was like, oh yeah, how stupid of me. The fuck is a stupid sword going to do? He's the Jedi master.
Starting point is 02:56:01 It's not going to be done or decided with the fucking sword. Even when Yoda was General when yoda was general yoda and he was doing flips and backflips that's when he got got by the sith that's when they planned behind him he was focused on the wrong thing when she gave him the lightsaber as a real jedi he's like i don't have a fucking attachment to this thing i'm a jedi toss it over his shoulder or fuck the jedi toss it over his shoulder but it was a fascinating you know what they're doing it's more about like slapping the fan i feel slapped in the face when you take the nostalgia and the member berries and and you instead of finding a way
Starting point is 02:56:35 to use them you just throw like slap me in the face with but i give an example of where it's done well though i thought have you seen do Do you follow Star Trek, like Next Generation? Did you watch that shit? Yeah. If I say Picard and Worf, you know what's up. Season three of Picard, they're just doing full on the next generation. They brought the entire old ass cast back.
Starting point is 02:56:57 They're old as fuck. You watched season one and season two of Picard? That costume is designed. Yeah, and I didn't like them. I watched season one. I was like, okay. You got him, Woody. He's fat. picard that costume is designed yeah and i didn't like them i watched season one didn't really i was like okay you got him when he's fat the top looks for his ankles it's always changes but dude this is not an action hero this guy can't no but that's a jedi he he fucking doesn't have to lift his hand he literally doesn't have to do anything to be an action hero in this universe he
Starting point is 02:57:22 literally the older and fatter he looks the more wise and like powerful type like yeah like this guy only get it he can like when but i never wanted to see a backflip at this point i don't want you're saying i i didn't want him to do a backflip like that i thought the i thought the little twisting turn under kylo's blade was the coolest amount of acrobatics that he did that was cool to me in terms of like what an older luke skywalker would do but he could have done backflips because like my understanding is like yoda yoda wasn't so strong that he could flip around like he could run up a building he's using the force to like manipulate things like even fat skywalker stronger than him luke skywalker could run up a building. So Luke could be morbidly obese
Starting point is 02:58:06 and his legs could not work. He could still flip around because it's the Force doing all that, right? I wish he was not jumping. Instead of a lightsaber, he just had a turkey leg and he was beating it while he was force fighting. They literally had him suck his alien tit milk live. When he drank
Starting point is 02:58:21 the tit milk, I was just like, man, y'all just don't take this shit seriously. It's always for kids. I don't think your universe is just like man y'all just don't take this shit seriously it's always for kids i don't think your universe is for me just don't take this seriously you know what i mean it's like i and i need to fucking kids that's where i am if i'm being honest that's that's where i'm with star wars and the whole universe is that this is for children and and maybe immature adults but it's not for me um i want to see you don't watch andor and andor is the one that is andor is like the dungeon so and i fucking try andor i saw the whole thing and i paid attention to every minute and i had closed captions on and i read every word and but listen just dull but you know i see you say dull i i i
Starting point is 02:59:02 also i too i'm a man who appreciates the fine arts like Avengers Endgame as yourself. I know when I'm consuming an Avengers Endgame piece of content and I and I, I put on Andor. And as soon as he shot that guy in the first episode, I turned to my girlfriend and I was like, you don't need to watch this. I'm going to watch this alone. This one's for me. I thought we were getting some baby Yoda type shit. I had no idea what it would be. How old is your girlfriend?
Starting point is 02:59:31 She's going to be 18. Well, she's 61 and very attached to the original. Sorry, I didn't realize this is for a teen. Get the fuck out of here. I thought it was going to be like baby Yoda filler fucking mobile game Boba Fett type shit. And I was like, oh, it's a different show. I don't want to answer a question during this. I didn't put it on when I felt like some action shit.
Starting point is 02:59:56 I put it on when I was like wanting to watch Succession or Endor. You should have paused it and said, hey, this isn't the show i thought it was hush out of you hush all right woman if she ever gets confused probably just one backhand i'll get it done can i tell you like i i i joked about it earlier but i think um we we've lost something from the 80s that they in the 70s they had figured out and it was how to motivate how to motivate your protagonist how to get your guy
Starting point is 03:00:31 on a mission I don't know I feel like all these movies we're talking about it's like yeah we need you please come back well you touched on this earlier and I was going to say something you said earlier we were talking about aliens and you were like if you sit there with your arms crossed and watch the movies back in the 80s, no one ever did that. I watch movies now.
Starting point is 03:00:50 And people are like, why would they go there? I'm like, back then, you didn't ask that. You never went on Twitter after the movie and went, oh, you're right. Why did he go there? You just the guy went there. And the movie Death Wish. Yeah. Charles Bronson.
Starting point is 03:01:04 Death Wish. No. Charles Bronson's Death Wish? No. You are so, they rape murder his family at the beginning. Fucking, what's his name from Jurassic Park? Life Finds A Way. Oh, Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldblum rapes his wife and daughter. And so he's just taken aback by this. He's lost his family, essentially.
Starting point is 03:01:28 His daughter's comatose now. Not comatose. She's there, but nothing's behind her eyes from the experience. And he basically takes up a gun, long story short, and becomes a vigilante shooting people in New York. You're behind him every step of the way because you saw what happened.
Starting point is 03:01:44 I don't know. I need a character to be motivated to go do a thing and then i'm invested in the movie and then i can let little shit go if i do like yeah i like i like i like a clear motivation like that i'm pretty simple like the movie commando fucking yes yes commando you want to get his daughter back ever oh oh why would they take his fucking daughter harley can they literally take his daughter and they're like if you want your daughter you're gonna have to do a couple things and he's like no and then he shoots that guy and now continuously just chases killing to get hismy auto rifle just and then he goes on a tear but the premise of this movie is that these guys need a south american dictator taken out and arnold's the only man who's so fucking scary he could go to south america and take out
Starting point is 03:02:37 the president of a fucking country and so they're like oh well let's kidnap arnold's daughter that won't cause any problems they should wait a minute if he's so scary, he could go to South America and take out a dictator. Couldn't he just come here and kill us all and take his daughter back? Nah. What the first thing they do, the beginning of the movie credits are rolling. Cause that's what they used to do in movies. You get the credits at the beginning.
Starting point is 03:02:56 They kill all of his friends. They just go and kill all of Arnold's friends. Then they kill his last friend. Then they kidnap his daughter. And, and so then the rest of them's friends, then they kill his last friend, then they kidnap his daughter. They should have just killed him. They need him to go take out the L-President. He was the original particular set of skills that make him dangerous.
Starting point is 03:03:14 It's such a fun movie. I watched it last week. I watched it last week. I almost ring-walked to that steel drum at the beginning. I played it many times. I was like, can I walk to the ring to this what do you ring walk to i had a couple of uh ideas but you've done it once already right yeah i did last time i did nirvana man who sold the world and i came out kind of like big boss with an eye patch and a military poncho okay i kind of want a headband and a cigarette and maybe a vest,
Starting point is 03:03:45 and it'll be like a solid snake type thing. 100%. I love it. The cigarette part's hilarious. It's great. Yeah. I thought about. You're the best around karate kid style.
Starting point is 03:03:54 Just saying. I honestly was toying with an anime intro, this anime bleach that I like. Let me talk you out of that. Do the cigarette thing that's who steps back and turn to the left and maybe something like i need a hero i'm actually coming in on horseback dressed like legolas and i have an uruk-hai with me and no one knows that it's sam hide it's raining man have you ever ridden a horse yeah i've i've even galloped on horseback it's very difficult
Starting point is 03:04:27 if harley showed up at my village on on horseback with a helm on and and like some armor and demanded like all my goats i'd offer them the pigs too what's so crazy you're like you don't know like if harley showed up at my, the thing that popped up in my head was just me as the chainsaw guy in the Resident Evil village. I've been playing so much Resident Evil. If Harley showed up in my village, that's the first thing that was playing in my brain. Because you'd be so colossal on a goddamn horse.
Starting point is 03:04:57 You'd be so fucking scary. You'd be a tired horse. There would be. I feel like there would be an intimidation factor. If I existed back then, they would have been like giant of a man. You'll fight two opponents at once. And I just get double stabbed. He wasn't as tough as the legends told.
Starting point is 03:05:21 We met this morning. They'd only make you fight one opponent, but they'd put a little midget on your shoulder's piggyback and he'd be like hanging on with a little weapon. Master blaster style. Yeah, master blaster. And he'd be giving the orders, get him! You know what would be better? You have a dwarf on your back with a ranged weapon
Starting point is 03:05:39 and you have a melee weapon and now you're a multiple threat. That'd be sick. Now you have a ranged dwarf on your back as you're meleeing that's the future of people talking about ai no it's tactical dwarves that's the co-op right there yeah i will say this i don't know how would fight a man who had a dwarf like harley for example big strong guy who a dwarf would like not encumber him at all i don't know how you would fight him in a in a one-on-one fight if he has a dwarf on his shoulder shoulders with like a quiver full of small javelins like he like like he's just launching them at you you need your
Starting point is 03:06:14 own dwarf with the series of shields the midget is throwing them harley's coming for you yeah i like i like the idea of one midget on the back. He's giving you the John Childs push kicks. I like a child on the back or a midget on the back, like with like maybe like a poker eyes on the back, like, you know, spear type thing. And then I like another one in the front that has a little bow. And then I like one on my forearm is like a shield. Yes. And like I lift them up.
Starting point is 03:06:42 Yeah, exactly. And you just have dwarves taped to every. Yes. And like I lift him up. Yeah, exactly. You just have dwarves taped to every... Exactly. You're holding a dwarf by the feet and he holds a sword. And every time I'm like, you're just hurting them. Yeah, you're just hurting them. You're beating up my
Starting point is 03:06:59 shield. Don't you feel guilty as you're blocking blades with a little dwarf doughy torso? That's Harley Dwarf Helm. That's Dwarven armor. Why would they make armor for such a man? No, no, no. It's Dwarves.
Starting point is 03:07:16 He's sewn them into his arm. No, Master Blaster was awesome. That's the best part of that fucking movie. It's Mad Max 3. Right? Yeah, the Thunderdome. that's the best part of that fucking movie it's um mad max three right yeah the thunderdome that was the best part that and the whole thing was powered by pig shit i thought that was a good idea like there's a good example of writing in a silly movie where you're like ah their power comes from pig shit yeah i believe that i don't know how much power you make from pig shit but they say you can do it so they got it i believe you just just star trek will be like oh that's positrons and the fucking yeah the positronic flow we're
Starting point is 03:07:49 gonna have to reverse the deflector dish and pump a lot of the warp nacelle uh gases and then we're gonna vent those gases and detonate them i'll nod along okay all right vent the gases then let's go the uh i watched picard season one and i was like okay and then people like season two sucks so i didn't watch season two but then i heard season three is great season three three dude have you seen it yet or no i started i actually started watching season two to get caught up and i really liked season two okay well i had i had a good time with it i was i was totally surprised like i anything that has anything to do with q i always like it i don't like you yeah i find him see i i look at q and i'm always like fucking jedi and sith are so silly when you know there's a q out there yeah just a
Starting point is 03:08:38 jokester god essentially um he's sort of a loki type character who just comes and plays hijinks to me the cues showing up on the show is is almost the writers and characters way of having a cheap episode where they just do that that fucking thing uh where they make a flash when he snaps his fingers and it also gets them to dress as fucking robin hood or do some historical reenactment which they all love to do because they're theater actors yeah i bought those episodes season three dude is member berries nostalgia fan service but done so well that you're just i look for a new episode came out 10 15 minutes ago i'm psyched to go watch it in an hour i'm gonna sit down with my popcorn i'm gonna fucking get my sugar-free kool-aid like this is gonna be a night it's so
Starting point is 03:09:26 good they bring old ass card back and uh he gets a message from um the doctor beverly crusher i need you now our son is in danger bum bum bum and he's like so he's he's retired and he's not he can't get a ship so he calls up reicher and him and Riker flagged down like a nice ship called the Titan, like a state of the art Starfleet vessel. And they're like, we're here for emergency inspections. And the captain treats them like shit. They show up for dinner and the captain's mess. He's already started eating. And Picard's like, I'm sorry, were we late?
Starting point is 03:10:03 And he's like, like no you're right on time have a seat and he's like it's really talking down to him about how i love that shit when you have a character built up that a scene like this it's like you've ate before captain picard could sit down it's like little setups that are just that moment exists because you've watched the shows before you know and picard's like it's nice to meet you and make your acquaintance captain. And he's like, oh, we've met before.
Starting point is 03:10:28 You met before. You might not remember. And it's when captain card was the Borg at wolf three, five, nine or whatever it was when he like killed the cutest team, 20,000, uh, like,
Starting point is 03:10:39 like, like servicemen destroyed like 40 vessels or whatever it was. And now Picard's like, he, now he can't talk back. He's got to sit there and take it because, yeah, he did do all that shit. And he keeps talking down to him. Like Picard brought him a gift of wine.
Starting point is 03:10:52 He's like he's a wine expert himself. He's like, nah, I don't think this really pairs well with tonight's blah, blah, blah. And like rejects the wine and just shits on him the whole time. By the time it's over, like I'm multiple episodes in. It's not over. But Worf is in the mix and Geord time the whole time um by the time it's over like i'm multiple episodes in it's not over but wharf is in the mix and jordy's in the mix and they found a way to tastefully bring back data i guess but wharf is such a fucking badass he introduces himself as like wharf son of mog bane to the house of duras a slayer of martok would you like some chamomile tea and it's like he's like centered himself he's got a he's got a white ponytail the big white eyebrows but he's he's got a sword on
Starting point is 03:11:33 his back that he'll decapitate a motherfucker with at a heart what about the guy that was rude to picard did he said to get his comeuppance oh he's the best you fall in love with him he's the best. You fall in love with him. He's the like, I already felt that I would have liked this guy a bit because like to just, I don't know. Yeah. You fall in love with that. The Picard's a big deal. Like he's famous. He's famous in the show.
Starting point is 03:11:55 Yeah. Like infamous or famous or loved. They give you those member bears. The captain's like, I don't know. Little things like the time you almost destroyed this. And when you violate the prime directive just to get some alien pussy on this planet. And the time he's like laying Picard out.
Starting point is 03:12:13 And Picard just looks at Riker and goes, those were the days. This guy knows everything Picard's ever done. But that's a good comeback, too. Like, yeah, I had a great time getting alien pussy violating prime directives he did he did exactly that this scene is like uh it was in a movie oh the uh the the the moments that they build up are the things that i like in the in the second season they have they they have a borg queen in their possession like on the ship and uh they're kind of in this alternate timeline dimension that q can do this
Starting point is 03:12:46 and he puts them in like a different world so everyone is uncomfortable and weird because they've been living it's like they're not comfortable in their own the fascist version yeah yeah exactly except the autistic girl is like unaffected by this major change and autism is a superpower I've seen it before. And the Borg queen is just like the Predator in that Predator movie where they're like, we don't have autism on our planet. We've come here to bring it to ours. The Borg queen is...
Starting point is 03:13:16 I'm sorry. I cut you off. My bad. Go ahead. Hush. I am hushing cops. I'll cut you the fuck off. I'm excited. Don't act like I do what he does. And am hushing cops. I've got you the fuck off. I'm excited. Don't act like I do what he does. And I never do that.
Starting point is 03:13:29 I don't even do it. I sit here fucking quietly for 15 minutes in a row. I've been here for 10 minutes. I don't even like Star Trek, but I'm listening. I say something. New fucking topic. This is fun. I just want to tell him about season three of picard and how much he's going to enjoy
Starting point is 03:13:48 it i don't want to talk about you hold on it more you perfectly in time i was just talking about season two i don't even want to talk about it anymore what do you know what i wanted to talk about kyle that you you breezed past with uh was tell me if i am misremembering this was was jeff goldbloom's role in the original jurassic park that he was a dinosaur sexuality expert no did i make that up no he was an expert in um and uh doesn't he say something like that no no no no no he's an expert in like string theory or whatever or like the way that like a butterfly like flaps its wings and it affects i need to reevaluate what was happening to me when i was dinosaur dick didn't he yeah not there for dinosaur sexuality he was hitting on the blondie like like right away like running his finger up her hand with the drops of water and shit
Starting point is 03:14:39 trying to explaining what he does i hated that part but yeah he was the one who said life finds a way and he was the one who said life finds a way and he was the one who said that they'd reproduce. So I can see where Taylor got that. I thought he was a dinosaur of sexuality. I think he was a philosopher, really. In my head, that's like, how would you even know? Oh, he's a mathematician.
Starting point is 03:14:57 Oh, it's chaos theory. That's what it's called. Yeah, okay. All right. Sam Fisher. Well, that's all I had on that. Never mind. Just a childhood misapprehension.
Starting point is 03:15:09 Have any of you seen the D&D movie yet? I've heard good things. I've heard good things, and I am absolutely going to go see it. I think it's fun. Or it's supposed to be a fun movie. I don't think I want to do that. I'm just not in the mood for a comedy. Does that make sense? I don't want to laugh i'm fine i heard that they got that movie and
Starting point is 03:15:31 people they tested it apparently and then they hired a comedy troupe to punch it up so they got it and they were like this might read better if there's a ton of jokes in it let's punch it up you need more silly a whole bunch i wonder if it worked because i have this idea that you can't take a movie that's not funny and just add some funny in it ham-handedly right you'd have to do that you'd have to be lucky i think to get good results there are people whose jobs are that that's yeah i mean i'm but it's not done well is what he's saying yeah because i know what time it was done and it was done terribly it's like suicide squad uh okay they released it
Starting point is 03:16:11 and then they were like wait this should be funny like guardians of the galaxy and then they recut the trailer and made it because they did that with justice league that's what i was thinking of the one that zach snyder remade back in the dark They, I think they made that and it was a little lighter and then they just recut it, reedited it and tried to make it a little more. That's a different thing. Avenger. What I'm talking about is a script doctor,
Starting point is 03:16:33 someone who's coming in before production has begun. Oh no, this is like they filmed it. Yeah. They filmed this. Apparently dungeons and dragons. Apparently it was done. They're like,
Starting point is 03:16:41 yeah, call them back in. We got some jokes that we're going to need. Yeah. Harley said they showed it to audiences and yeah that's what i heard but then once again it could be another harley lie on pka that's okay we all lie most of them are accidental he feels physical pain if he doesn't get one out every few hours he's like polka dot man must make money or lie. I must deceive a Gentile. Must deceive.
Starting point is 03:17:06 Deception and earnings. Deception and earnings. You can either slaughter a lamb or deceive a Gentile every fortnight or he feels physical pain. Do we have been doing too much Warhammer? Harley's little scheming voice sounds like a skaven to me now. Yes. Sneak stab.
Starting point is 03:17:22 Dude, you were talking, Harley, about how you had you had like you just fall into like video game terminology in your head when you're like addicted to it and thinking too much like in this game warhammer total war like if i bring a unit that costs me 700 gold i want it to do at least 700 gold worth of damage to kyle's army too preferably more so it's a good trade you want to it's called getting good value on it so when i bring a unit you have to get good value i woke up before a meeting like three days ago like 45 minutes early and i checked and i was like 45 minutes before my alarm and i checked and i was like i've got 45 minutes i bet i can get good value on that went back to bed and was like what the
Starting point is 03:18:05 fuck's wrong with like why are you thinking like that and then i couldn't sleep because i was thinking about army compositions and that's just what's so funny is i love i you said also like you're like yeah this meeting where i just imagine you in a boardroom and you're like probably wondering why i gathered you all here today yeah come pills pills and total war value like something like a a powerpoint and like clicking through it in front of businessmen it's just come bills yeah and every and like over here is a collage of tributes that have been made to it's the overwhelming majority of the show it's mostly tributes from our lock and load program remember that? Remember when you're getting tributed back in the day for a while? I asked people to tribute.
Starting point is 03:18:49 But it's so weird. I attributed you guys. I attributed you guys. I'm like, no, I'm not going to send them. That's weird. But now that it's been saved on my phone for three years, that's weirder. You guys don't know about it. And now I can't send it.
Starting point is 03:19:02 My dick doesn't even look the same. Upload it anonymously and we won't even know it's you that's what you do you just throw it in the mix i've been so fucking sick this week dude like like i'm sure you see me over here like you sound better now i'm on so much shit i'm on so much pseudofed and claritin and i keep every time i step away i'm like blasting my nose i've got this pressurized can of saline and i stick it up one nostril and blast and it forces the other one nostril open and so like it's a traumatic experience for my body like it feels a little bit like drowning but i just kind of suffer through it because it's it helps and uh but every time i'm done i'm kind of crying a little i'm like all right those are big boy tears and i like i clean up and everything like
Starting point is 03:19:49 like i'm just a fucking wreck well last night on top of that oh and like my nose is just so raw it's rough i try not to touch it but you almost got like a girl look dude i don't have any fucking kleenex because the dog has eaten two boxes of Kleenex. Every time I buy a new box, he eats them and tears them apart when I'm not looking. So I'm using fucking paper towels and stuff. Yeah, they had the lotion in them and everything. He ate them all. I'm going to the bathroom, but I still have my headphones.
Starting point is 03:20:15 Don't talk shit about Jewish people. So when I was ordering groceries, I got a jar of Vaseline. And they gave me this black people Vaseline. It said something about... It's better than the Jewish people Vaseline. Oh my god. Careful, he's scary looking now. Oi!
Starting point is 03:20:38 Don't use all of that petroleum jelly! So I've been putting that on my nose. Well, the dog got into the Vaseline today and ate like half a tub of fucking Vaseline so now I don't even have that it's going to be such a disgusting shit all over the house it's going to be rough
Starting point is 03:20:54 he ate so much Vaseline so then last night I woke up and I already had vomit in the back of my throat, like I woke up mid-vomit from food poisoning and so I'm just like I the back of my throat. I woke up mid-vomit from food poisoning. And so I sit up as my mouth is filling with vomit and rush to the bathroom. And I'm throwing up for like a fucking hour at like 4 a.m. last night. So that was fun, too.
Starting point is 03:21:17 Why would you think it's food poisoning instead of whatever sickness you got? Oh, because it was really sudden. And I ate somereek food last night these uh that like that lamb that they sort of slice off of that that's delicious it's just a rotating chunk of meat that they have the meat and man it must have been rotating for too long i did notice some of it was a little dark and crispy when i ate it but that just made it taste better yeah i mean i think your stomach just needs to to buck up a little bit you gotta you gotta toughen it up eat what you need to do is teach your stomach this isn't gonna fly mister and you double down
Starting point is 03:21:53 get some more shawarma well i bucked up last night and and vomited for for a good two hours until i was just throwing up bile and just just just my my my, my abs hurt. Just, just on the floor, curled up in a ball. Has it been two weeks that you felt shitty? Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I think it's allergies mostly. I may,
Starting point is 03:22:11 I might be sick. I'm not willing to write that off entirely, but I don't have any accompanying symptoms. Hopefully you're sick. I think it's on its own thing. But, uh, but yeah,
Starting point is 03:22:19 it just feels like it's just nasal congestion. And, uh, did you try the pills I sent? Yes, I have those now. I have a whole, whole tried them and i ordered them from amazon no they're what i'm taking now but i mean it's like nothing seems to have changed i was already taking claret in 24 hours which i assume is doing a similar also 24 hours yeah oh yeah i was hoping you had good luck no i don't know what the deal is uh hopefully you don't just suddenly like like you. You don't get suddenly out of nowhere horrid allergies one year, do you?
Starting point is 03:22:48 Well, here's the thing. Growing up, I had terrible allergies, and then they went away suddenly. I used to not be able to go outside this time of year. I was handicapped, essentially. My dad would be like, I'd be working with my dad, and he'd look over, and my eyes are swollen shut and just tears pouring out of them and it's like what the fuck go home
Starting point is 03:23:10 it's partially like exposure because when I was a kid outside 24-7 I never had allergies and like I still don't get them bad ever but occasionally I'll go outside after the grass is cut and it's like oh my eyes are a little itchy so I just watched a podcast on allergies recently.
Starting point is 03:23:28 And they're tricky. They're more common than they used to be, which is weird. And my knee jerk instinct was like, oh, maybe people just more apt to complain now. Maybe they have better access to medical care. But they said it's actually that they're living cleaner lifestyles. They're spending more time inside on computers stuff like that where uh pets i guess are less common didn't know that but um it used to be kids went outside like you did like i did it used to be that you know there was a dog in the house like that's a good thing to combat allergies oddly
Starting point is 03:24:00 just a little more exposure to dirt and you don't get so sensitive to stuff i didn't think about that yeah that's but my allergies were crippling as like a teenager and my early 20s and then they completely went away around the time i was 27 and uh so for a decade ago and now i'm having some really awful fuck it feels like i snorted a line of fiberglass the inside of my nose burns and tickle itches like it's this thing where like if i scratch it it'll only itch worse it's like i'm keeping my hands i'm trying to keep my hands off of it as it's just my nose is constantly running the amount of mucus that comes out of my fucking head every day it's got to be a goddamn record it's it's, it's real upsetting. Uh, I've changed the air filters in my house.
Starting point is 03:24:47 I've cleaned the house thoroughly multiple times. I'm vacuuming every fucking day. I gave the dogs baths. You did. And they're clean and they're looking nice. Yeah. I groomed my, my puppers.
Starting point is 03:24:58 I groomed my puppers up. They're looking real nice. Um, Toby's got short hair now. He looks very silly. It's awesome. What is the sickest you guys have ever been i had uh like a few things going on um i had strep throat for sure i had the flu for sure it's debatable whether i had full-blown pneumonia or not but i i was um i was
Starting point is 03:25:22 coughing up blood and um that's when they gave me that bottle of... What do you make scissor fat of? Coding. Arizona iced tea. I had that big bottle of Coding. Skittles. I went to my doctor,
Starting point is 03:25:39 and he was like, yeah, that's definitely strapped throat, and you definitely have the flu. I was like, well, and this is Friday. I'm like, Monday morning, I'm, and this is Friday. I'm like Monday morning, I'm driving to New Mexico where I'm going to film half a dozen videos and make this much money. And I can't not be there next week driving to New Mexico. He's like,
Starting point is 03:25:56 well, the desert air will help a little. I was like, some, some, some antibiotics, some injections would help a lot. And he's like,
Starting point is 03:26:01 yeah, absolutely. And he gave me a shot in my ass, a big bottle of uh codeine and maybe some pills too and i still barely fucking survived i can i i can remember trying to drink gatorade and then vomiting it up behind a truck and then like gargling the gatorade to get the vomit out of my mouth and then going and shooting the video where i've got a uh a big um 500 magnum in each hand um i'm so sick so if we go back and
Starting point is 03:26:27 watch that one will we be able to see like sick eyes like you can hear my voice like i can't do the accent i'm uh i sound ridiculous like like i'm so fucking sick did it end after the shoot or were you sick for like another week i don't really remember i remember i think i got better because when i ran out of coding i think we're we were in a i don't know remember. I remember, I think I got better because when I ran out of codeine, I think we were in a, I don't know what state we were in, but whatever state it was in, they put an additive into their codeine when it's prescribed to make it taste awful so it can't be abused so easily.
Starting point is 03:26:58 Whereas in Georgia, man, it tasted like candy, like liquid Jolly Rancher. And so when I got the foul tasting stuff, I didn't even want it anymore. So I guess I was well enough. I mean, it served its purpose. I could have gone on abusing it and developed a fucking habit if I'd had another bottle of that shit.
Starting point is 03:27:15 It is such a nice feeling, dude. It's like all the warmth and good feelings of alcohol plus like this dopey opium, relaxation yeah dude it feels good and it's it's no itchiness it was such a nice high i've never done it since so for me i get kind of a thumpy headache and i just feel um from opiates, like a thumpy headache and I try to get off them as fast as I can. I have more surgeries probably than most of you guys. They send me home
Starting point is 03:27:51 with shit like that. I'm trying to think. What else? It's like the thumpy headache and I just feel a little down. My wife gets itchy, but I don't. But it makes me a little sick to take opiates so i'm i'm not uh i will never fuck with like i have seen being in the midwest like so many fucking people ruin their lives no
Starting point is 03:28:15 you'd be fine you'd be fine your personality no desire to fuck with that shit i believe i think your personality would allow you to try heroin if you wanted and be like oh man that was good better not do that again. Because that's how I feel about it. I know right now if I scored a bottle of codeine, I would have the best night in memory. It would feel so good just to sip on it slowly, maybe mix it with Sprite or whatever and have a nice cold drink.
Starting point is 03:28:42 Man, it's so good. I should probably never touch that shit again. if i had a bottle of codeine here i would be like that freaks i'd throw it away like i don't even i don't want to be in that world i'm with taylor on this and i show you respect for taylor and like self-control if you need to but i've seen other people with self-control other people who whoever act together fall victim to this shit and it's like can i it's so addictive it's so dangerous i would i would guess that the people who are squared away who become addicted are we're taking it initially responsibly and prescribed for a real painful
Starting point is 03:29:18 thing and they became addicted over time i'm describing a scenario in which taylor who is like so driven that he never got those bad grades taylor who is like so driven that he never got those bad grades taylor who's like always on time he could get when he could shoot heroin up tonight and never touch heroin again like he would he would let's go then bro you know kyle wait that's how i feel i'm not going to agree with you this but yeah i am willing to bet five dollars on it and this is a testable hypothesis wait i owe you five catch me up what's going on my headset uh we were talking i don't know how i was saying that he thinks i could try prescription pills or heroin and not get addicted to it and i was saying i would never want to like i every i think everyone that is why he's right would like to everyone
Starting point is 03:30:01 would like to believe that they would not get addicted to an addictive pill but the reason you get addicted is because that pill is like made to be addictive like it's yeah but there's a denial factor that you're that you're not acknowledging that you're already doing yourself that your defense mechanism is already working by you being like i don't even want i don't want a lot of people are like what it's a little bit of heroin i'm'm good, bro. Look, I still go to work tomorrow. So I do. I just think I have the willpower to.
Starting point is 03:30:30 I believe I could try heroin and just never do it again because I did that with codeine. It's just just. You know why I think you could do that? Well, I'm not proposing that I go do heroin. No, we're all here. So, you know, I'm saying prospectively where that your anyway to answer your question that is when i was the sickest thank you for that taylor asked when we were the sickest in our lives and i spent about 18 minutes telling him that's exactly what we want 18 heroin no no that that uh
Starting point is 03:31:04 i was prescribed codeine when i had like pneumonia strapped throat and i was feeling really really isn't it funny how you like see the backwards trend of the conversation but oh harley what's the sickest you've ever been ever your whole life fucking knocking out aaron game grumps creator clash was fucking i ain't getting sicker than that bro unless i knock out a wrestler this saturday so you just don't get sick okay well i'm sick right now i've been mentally ill i've been mentally ill i'm actually like illness counts i might need to change my answer when i got sick this whole time you see my minecraft servers yeah yeah the more the fitter harley gets the more the whites of his eyes are showing when he's looking at you. I do. You know, I do.
Starting point is 03:31:50 I get a certain virility to me. I get a certain lifeness that I see in my eyes. Yeah, your eyes are very white, actually. Right there. This is AOC eyes fucking coming for your soul. Do you need to make weight, Harley? No, I just need to be over 200, and that's not a problem. I couldn't get under 200 if I fucking unless I cut my legs off 30 years ago i don't know if we revealed your who you're fighting or you if you were able to last show can we show a picture of homeboy can we do that yeah yeah yeah the mayor of slam town
Starting point is 03:32:16 zach you'll find all right so so harley showed me this like a long time ago like maybe six months ago and i remember thinking why would you want to fight an actual athlete i didn't think it through at the time i didn't say that i was like i was like nice man fucking nice good no one can take my boy harley i have nothing but confidence like the whole jesus christ that's a little older pick i think wait that's him that's him he's older now and stronger, I think. Yeah, he's definitely stronger now. Oh.
Starting point is 03:32:50 I know, I know. Look at that mane of hair. He looks like Duke Nukem, dude, with that jaw. Oh, I almost ring-walked to that, by the way. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's a pretty... So you're going to dominate this. I've seen a lot of this guy because he was on a season of Survivor. That's right, he was. walk to that by the way oh shit yeah that's a pretty so you're gonna dominate this video
Starting point is 03:33:06 he was on a season of survivor that's right he was yeah he ate the other competitors he was a great competitor like he's smart and he was really athletic and they all banded against him and voted him off because they were worried that later in the game he'd be a big problem. Wait, is he breaking fucking bricks? Oh, no, Harley! That's going to be my fucking thick Jewish skull. Do you imagine how much money he wasted on those bricks? Man, this is...
Starting point is 03:33:40 Oh, my God. I didn't realize who you were fighting. I know. I do. Dude, you might not remember in the show. He's one didn't realize who you were fighting. I know. I do. Dude, you might not remember in the show. He's one of those guys who comes to church. Harley says the guy's name, and I go, oh, oh. And he's like, Woody, you're getting in my head.
Starting point is 03:33:54 And I'm like, I'm sure. Good luck. And he's like, Woody, you're not helping. That's how the show ended. It's for charity, man. It's going to be a good time. I bet that guy brings a pretty decent audience, too, which is really good. I look forward to watching.
Starting point is 03:34:11 How do we watch it? Because I never know. Thecreatorclash.com. Okay. I don't know if they're going to give me a discount or if they're going to give me a link thing for our friends and family. If I get one, I would send it to you guys this is this guy dude you're looking thin good for you you're looking hung harley nicely nice nice do you know this is actually the only time i will ever pre give myself a pre-fluff before because the shorts were really small and so i pre-fluffed myself a little
Starting point is 03:34:42 bit right i swear to god that's great and it worked i noticed i called it on the show it looked like i had no dick dude it looked like i had no dick no it does so i slapped it twice and i was like now no one you know now no one's gonna be like he has no dick all the comments are like dick and i'm like is that your gym that's hilarious yeah that's my garage oh nice very nice high t maneuver when i saw you sashay like the facial hair though like the beard now is good but that video definitely go back to the mustache with the shorter sides wolverine that's really good i like that a lot makes you know why because it because it's like reclaiming my jawline i was fat all through pandemic and now at least it's like i have this angle here that i used to not and so that's the one thing i like
Starting point is 03:35:35 about the mustache and mutton chops someday but i told maybe mutton chops actually because i told you guys last time remember i said that the the hair apparently helps and fighting this fucking you guys last time remember i said that the the hair apparently helps and fighting this fucking juiced up mutant i should probably uh take every advantage i can get zach can you show us wolverine's facial hair because i think in one of the movies maybe he had like a mutton chop type thing going on he does he has those uh like maybe i would never i would never say this i would never say this on my on my podcast the n word i'm kidding the uh i would never say this on my on my podcast the n word i'm kidding the uh i would never say this on my podcast binge eater guys please also listen it doesn't have one up you can listen to mine um but uh i i wouldn't say it there you go sick do that dude the uh what i what i like
Starting point is 03:36:19 i want to tell you guys this. I feel surprisingly confident. I don't know when it happened. In the last two weeks or so, I kind of tapped into an element that I used to have that I used to not have that like, you know, it really resonated. Even watching Rocky
Starting point is 03:36:41 3 at one point, like they said to Rocky's like, you did the worst thing for a fighter. became civilized and i thought about me and i thought about old epic mealtime i was playing football i played for a football team i was defense i always got like rowdy i got crazy i could i played on like a team with like a lot of black dudes i'd grab these haitian guys by their shoulders and we're in the locker room. And I'm like, fucking that's how Haitians talk. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:37:08 I'm like, man, man, man. I mean it for real. Like I'm fucking, I'm like at that point in my life where like, if you showed me Andrew Tate,
Starting point is 03:37:17 I would have been like, let this man speak. That's where I was at. Like, you know, you'd have broke him out. If you were in my early twenties. Yeah. You'd have one of those hooks with the rope. Yeah. I would have at like, you know, you broke him out in my early 20s. Yeah, you'd have one of those hooks with the rope.
Starting point is 03:37:26 Yeah, I would have been like I would have been in Target pointing at a boy's t-shirt with a rainbow being like, what the fuck? Or a bloodline down the drain. Just exasperated a gay shit. Like turn up the kid rock. Let's get fucking toxic mail up in your bitch yeah um but i i was like that's that's that was easy for me early epic mealtime i was like hungry i had like i needed to like do
Starting point is 03:37:53 so i was like a million reasons to be aggressive and play a character but then as time goes on like pandemic it's like bro i'm sitting in my fucking house i can order whatever i want it'll come to my doorstep like i don't even have to get hard the fucking fleshlight just sucks the cum out of me like i don't have to do anything and there's nothing there's like there was no drive and then doing the first fight i felt like i was getting comfortable again or whatever and then like the second fight and then i'll be honest kind of like beefing people on twitter i was like i never do this but now why don't i do it like what the fuck are they gonna take what are you gonna take from me my views you can't take anything from me i was like oh my god i have nothing to lose it's been a long time i could be
Starting point is 03:38:39 a small channel out there so then i'm like oh i should do that so i get on my cam and i'm like you motherfuckers if you don't like what i have to say then you better and i'm like doing this i'm like i could do this because i can't cancel my fucking show my show is just kind of like it's not cancer it's not like it's not popping i'm not and all the other creators on creator clash i'm sure they feel similar in a lot of respect a lot of respects but they're not going to jump into the talks with fucking augie or nicholas the oreo because they're not these people it's not a thing that they're going to engage with or whatever but for me i'm like oh i could jump in there and be like i don't know bitch and get in a twitter space and scream or whatever and still sleep soundly at night because i already went through the motions i don't have
Starting point is 03:39:23 anything to prove in that space i don't have a sponsorship that's like ah you don't really fit the brand with la quinta hotels so you're cut for saying for calling this person a fucking idiot on so none of that exists so i was like oh i could just go and do all that and then i felt like going on and like when i was talking about i touched on a bit with dick i was like oh i was like i haven't done this shit in a while and i was like i haven't been i've been like civilized i've been like sitting around fucking video gaming doing nothing but i'm like i gotta fight next month and i have like the biggest like no joke all all optics aside the biggest fucking losers that i've ever seen in my entire life saying my name on their channel and i'm like you know
Starting point is 03:40:12 i'll see the guys i'm like maybe i uh should be a little aggressive in my fight because i opened up my stupid fat mouth and now they all want to see me get knocked out. I can't get knocked out. Use your strength, I guess, right? Yeah, if I get knocked out, think about this. What do you put yourself in my shoes? I get knocked out. Like I gotta like
Starting point is 03:40:38 like Keemstar is going to tweet at me and be like, bitch, you got knocked out. Here's the gif. Could you imagine that? You wouldn't want that. I got to go. I got to duck off social media for a bit. Seven inches shorter than you. You can't allow that. You cannot. I got to leave
Starting point is 03:40:54 social media. It would be an embarrassment to lose to the mayor of Slamtown. Humiliating. Was that his nickname? The mayor of Slamtown? No, no, that's John. This guy's going to fuck you up. And that's what's so crazy is my my mentality is i've been like i shouldn't get overconfident this guy's an athlete and i'm still just like a jew like i shouldn't get dude use your ways how about we get to him before the fight slip him a
Starting point is 03:41:17 mickey yeah you talk to your people at deutsch bank style. We'll get his bank account suspended and he'll be so stressed out financially. Tell him your uncle and your brother-in-law are lawyers and if he touches you, he'll never have a dime again. Is he married? Is this a married man? Maybe we have like a prostitute approach him the night before and drug him. Well, that's...
Starting point is 03:41:39 He said to me, he was like, we could joke about whatever you want. We could joke about anything you want. Do whatever you want. He's like, don't say shit about my wife, though. Oh. And he was like we could joke about whatever you want i could joke about anything you want do whatever you want he's like don't say shit about my wife though oh and i was like i was never going to and that to the froggy fresh thing also is i was like some people you can't say something about their wife and i and i know this and i'm not saying you can you can exactly exactly are you saying pre-fight during the fight and after the fight but you're gonna pay the consequences because is he really you said he's who's called the mayor of slam 10 the man you're about to fight yeah yeah god damn it dude that's rough
Starting point is 03:42:16 i know i'm like honestly you ask like what i want to do like i don't know this fucking guy's not gonna watch pka when does this come out thursday friday yeah uh saturday i mean like like are we going to lie to him or like tell him like tonight like like okay okay no because i just didn't want him to watch realistically slam down i'm just saying like i'm over here bro i'm really i'm over here look how much you put your palm on him look how far away you are my god we're really far we're really far very far you can't reach this stay there and then like imagine you stay there big bear
Starting point is 03:42:58 imagine you did some moves and you got past this you got past who's there amazing i thought you were going to be on my back here now again look at this look out mayor he's got two hands this one where's the kite coming from i'm the kite killer was scared of dude please tagline. Boom. That's it. Dude, that's your name. You have your nickname.
Starting point is 03:43:29 What you have, Harley, is you have an enormous red swastika on you when you walk in. Just a thin black no line across it. Huge red swastika. Tiny asterisk that says two thumbs down. And it's on like the back of your shorts. Update his freaking title. Now that he has a nickname. No, you're going to fuck this guy up.
Starting point is 03:43:58 You're taller than him. Antagonized. He's got a lot. He's got a lot of cardio. And if he ever sees this show, I have nothing but respect for you nothing at all for you and your wife and family sir upright people good people sir he is actually a great guy like i've met him before and i knew him and which i got a really
Starting point is 03:44:17 funny story about him you guys know uh moist critical i know uh i yes he's the guy he's got the long hair and he's like guys yeah he's like uh today you know so he had this uh gathering at his his g fuel compound gym streaming area uh like after the fight and i kind of hung around a long time and everyone cleared out and john was there john morse and the guy boxing and everyone's gone it's like 3 30 a.m 4 a.m and uh moist is there with like his girlfriend and they're like brand new like little kitty and everyone's kind of left and we were just like waiting outside for our uber which was taking a while but everyone's gone and he goes and he closes the garage door out there and we're like peace he's like peace he closed the garage door so like we're outside of the thing and it's all locked up now and my uber is pulling up and i look at john i'm like oh so you want to roll with us and he does the
Starting point is 03:45:14 coolest craziest thing i've ever seen he goes no he swigs his drink he's like i'm gonna go over stay my welcome and then he goes to the door and knocks on it as I'm getting into the Uber. And Charlie's like, what's up? And he's like, hey, and like walks back in. It's 4 a.m. I'm gone. Moist is there with I don't know who else, but I know his girlfriend and this brand new little kitty. And former WWE superstar John Morrison knocks on his door like, I'm going to overstay my welcome.
Starting point is 03:45:43 And I've never heard anyone say it so like that, being like, I'm'm gonna overstay my welcome and i i've never heard anyone say it so like that being like i'm gonna overstay my welcome i was like i fucking love that i'm gonna take that shit i'm always overstaying from now on alpha sigma behavior oh no bitch i'm eating snacks without permission have you ever had to overstay your welcome but and you couldn't help it i'll give an example uh i was i was a guest of uh paul our friend paul in chicago that his parents owned the whole place um paul was like setting me up the first time i went out there um every step of the way but then my flights home got really fucked up so i had nowhere to go like my hotel is kicking me out and paul's like ah come come to my place so kitty and i are sitting on his couch all day and he's just like yep yes we
Starting point is 03:46:34 wait on the flights and i just felt so bad i just felt like i had him inconvenienced he has to just be there with me like all night i know he doesn't want to like i don't want to be there i want to be home i just play paintball for 48 hours straight. I feel like shit. Kitty's passed out on the other couch. I'm just sitting there watching nature documentaries, wishing I was home. We were watching I Shouldn't Be Alive.
Starting point is 03:46:56 That show about people who shouldn't be alive for whatever fucking reason. Usually wilderness. Kyle, we lost you. You're muted, Kyle. We lost you. They can't hear you. Can't get any of the juicy tidbits
Starting point is 03:47:11 coming out of that supple mouth. Supple. Look at his lips. They're perfect. Yeah, they look so red today. I've been thinking about it all day. Can't get enough of them. Look at that.
Starting point is 03:47:21 Look at that koi boy. Look at that koi boy right there. You're talking about OnlyFans? We need to get caught. I don't know. We talked about Harley's big thick tongue earlier and I haven't thought about anything else since then. It wouldn't be good. Me and Harley are going to start an OnlyFans for big thick tongue boys.
Starting point is 03:47:38 That's what we need. Dude, I was thinking of starting a new YouTube channel. I'm just head over heels into this fish tank thing oh my god i don't think it's great show content but it's what i do when i'm not on the show quite and i'm like i need to make an only fins channel and just talk about like sexy rasses and like fat tanks and and plumping them up and slime them slippery when wet jokes. No, the play actually would be to call it OnlyFins
Starting point is 03:48:09 and never acknowledge or play into the fact that it's called OnlyFins. Can I give you some advice? I'll give you some advice that might be a decade too old. Your first video should be about Jackie using that overpowered bootleg laser to like kill the, whatever the things are called,
Starting point is 03:48:29 but you're going to have a really scary thumbnail and it's going to highlight the fact that it's a very dangerous laser that you're not, that it's what you're doing is dangerous and like prohibited. Maybe even call point at the lasers, technically illegal. And I put a Tesla logo on the laser. technically illegal and i put a tesla logo on the laser and uh and then like obviously like everybody here will watch it that's listening to this but then like if you can get it to roll over and do a viral thing if you can get it in front of eyes
Starting point is 03:48:54 people will click that that thumbnail however if you made a channel about fish tanks i think that would mostly just be about your love of fish tanks and not any sort of successful business venture and you know that going in so everything you have you have like an aquarium yes yeah like a big one uh so to shorten it up i used to have a big ish one at 70 gallons i currently have a 25 and i bought a 150 i'm waiting on it at 70 gallons. I currently have a 25 and I bought a 150. I'm waiting on it. How big is 150? That seems like a lot.
Starting point is 03:49:29 150 gallons? It's about two feet tall. Right? But it's on a stand. The tank is about two feet tall. It's about four feet wide and three feet front to back. Oh shit, that is a huge fucking tank. They get bigger it gets that pops
Starting point is 03:49:46 in your house it ruins your house right a part of it but you know what i could see like you know how you get into hobbies and then you have to up to the next thing like is there any thought about maybe a bigger sea creature not anything ridiculous but like something bigger than a little fish like because that's cool like something bigger than a little fish like because that's cool like something bigger something substantive you see swimming in someone's house it's like i don't know i always think that's neat yeah i hadn't thought about it oh oh um we went to the public aquarium last month and they had sea otters and i was just like what does it take to keep a sea otter dude I bet it's a nightmare
Starting point is 03:50:26 I have a pool and like I got some space and the sea otters look like little water dogs this is a good idea with animals like that you watch a video like talking about those like animals and they'll be like
Starting point is 03:50:41 at 3am known as the screaming out it's like oh god damn it my fucking otters are screaming again what do you could you could put in a pond on your property and have freshwater otters that run ugly freshwater they're not they're really cool i used to shoot them they uh they sort of like get on the top of the water and swim along you gotta shoot right behind the eye what do they do to you they eat the top of the water and swim along. You got to shoot right behind the, eh, what do they do to you? They eat the fish and then, you know,
Starting point is 03:51:09 they do otter shit. No, that's fine. Yeah. You need, I, uh, I,
Starting point is 03:51:14 you guys know that I was always into like taking pictures of toys and stuff or for a bit there. And so I liked, uh, the way it was set up. And one thing leads to another. And I ended up on aquarium YouTube. Uh, I like years ago, two years ago. Cause I was looking at dioramas being built, miniatures, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 03:51:29 And then I got into aquascaping. Oh, yeah. It's all we talk about. My wife has models downstairs I could show you. It's fucking sick, dude. It's sick. And you know what? If it sounds like a shit YouTube channel, it'll probably make a great TikTok account.
Starting point is 03:51:48 You're a gamer. you're a gamer you're a gamer the chinese communist party already has a blueprint of your entire house and how many people live in it you're fucked you're on the red shorts you might as well just get a tiktok yeah youtube shorts also you can put it there but i think you should lean into the aquarium stuff people love it there let me say this there's room i would love i think it's cooler than paramotoring. I've watched people. I do. It is. I've watched people empty out aquariums and clean them.
Starting point is 03:52:14 I watched a guy, this gigantic aquarium. He has to put his fish in like a fucking kid-sized swimming pool while he switches the water. I think an aquarium is such a cool thing to have in the house. I have every intention of setting up automated water changers so I can have like, you know, the dosers that nurses use to feed you your drip or whatever. Does that mean you don't have to empty out your aquarium ever? Right.
Starting point is 03:52:32 Yeah. That just goes to the house's waste. All you do is mix fresh salt. Okay. Because that's the one thing that ever prevented me from getting an aquarium is that i would fuck up if you go to the saltwater fish keeping world you can remove like a lot of effort and replace that with money like there's a there's a computer that will control your your water changes your temperatures your chemistry my water is being tested four times a day right now i i just i i have a website that shows me why am i boxing for stupid ass charity when i
Starting point is 03:53:07 could be boxing for a saltwater aquarium for fish yeah you should be exactly that's like a real life that people you need to find we have to box for fish so that we do would you if your award instead of 20 grand was the finest tuna the entire thing from that day at the fish market in Japan, you'd make more money with the tuna. What class of hobby is this? This thing that Woody has taken on Taylor. I think that is it is of the class of the train conductors, the home train conductors and the Warhammer model makers. However, I will say I got to all of these it's the top of them it is the best of them i i uh i like that there's live animals yeah um and i like that
Starting point is 03:53:53 uh that it's going to be very expensive and potentially like uh i don't know it's going to be a fancy thing that you're going to have it's going to be a beautiful thing it's a very it's a very classy hobby you know what it is? It's indoor gardening. It's a little more complicated because there's so much chemistry involved, but it's basically indoor gardening where you just sort of every day you tend to it. You make sure it's watered like you want it to be. You make sure that the tests, the phosphorus, the food. Well, Jackie and I meet every twice a day at the fish tank at 10 a.m. and
Starting point is 03:54:25 5 p.m. and we have a coffee and we watch the food drop. That is hilariously structured. I love that. That is very discount the 502 Jackie.
Starting point is 03:54:43 You can't record it for benefits of having an aquarium in your house with fish too yeah yes i believe in energies like that i don't but but it's beautiful what he has it's not an energy more importantly it puts off a good feeling it's nice to look at the same way an aesthetic painting in the room brings a better feeling to it because it's pleasing to see. It's way cooler than an aesthetic painting. He doesn't want to make it sound like he believes in Chinese magic. Oh, I totally breathe. I don't think you can underestimate
Starting point is 03:55:14 the fact that it's classy because I will say this. If I go to another man's house and he has one of those trains, we joked about it last week, but man, that's some lame ass shit. If you got a fucking train, your little hat on, and you got the trees and stuff. You have ruined this room. I disagree so much.
Starting point is 03:55:29 You have ruined your garage, sir. You have ruined whatever room is taking place in. I'm going to take off my wooden whistle. This will stay here until it ends. When you die, your family will take it apart angrily and roughly, and they'll throw it all away. However, Woody's aquarium, I walk into that room.
Starting point is 03:55:54 Loser! roughly and they'll throw it all away however woody's aquarium i walk into that room but but at woody's house however i feel like his aquarium could add an aesthetic to a room that nothing else could i know i always go back to the fucking dentist but i i think growing up when i was a kid like my uh the guy that did my braces had a fantastic aquarium. And it was really nice to sit there and get him to work on your mouth, the orthodontist, and have that soothing aquarium of little yellow and red fish moving around over there. Neat. It was soothing. It was cool. It was relaxing. So it's just infinitely better than those other lame-ass hobbies.
Starting point is 03:56:22 Fuck y'all train-conducting bitches. That is not the official stance of the show like i almost guarantee you when i come downstairs after this show jackie will have developed a new aquascape in clay for like for my feedback on it that's fun she's really into the animal husbandry part of it she's always looking at every coral for disease or for problems or invasive worms or whatever i'm more into like the the tool set and the chemistry side of it i always want to make sure the ph the orp the temperature the calcium the alkalinity you're like i doves and this aquarium is your creator clash now imagine one fish had been training with another fish in another aquarium i'm kidding fuck with my tangs i think that's i think that's when did you get into this
Starting point is 03:57:13 what is this i was it was like motorcycles last year dude no no so i kept um aquariums starting as a teenager and into my 20s and maybe my 30s. Then I took a break during my YouTube years and just got another one in February. We just got back into it. I got a prediction. He's going to get a big tank,
Starting point is 03:57:38 Taylor. Let me ask you this. Here's the question. Woody already knows the answer to my question. What's the big boy tank, Woody? You're asking me? Yeah, yeah, there's a tank out there. What's the big boy?
Starting point is 03:57:54 What do the reef keepers of the world look to when they install a tank in their domicile? I would say if you're in the 350 to 500 gallon range, you're a boss. If you're more than that, then it's almost like not pretty anymore. It's like a swimming pool with glass sides. It better be like the roof and your walls on both sides or something. Right.
Starting point is 03:58:17 If you get past like 500 or 1,000 gallons, it starts to get into this. It gets too deep and you can't see the shit going on and it's all distorted and the water is never as perfectly clear as you want it to be because you have like a shark in it that's when you join them all of his human oils will ruin the chemistry
Starting point is 03:58:39 he's gonna be in a full skin suit I gave Jackie a suntan lotion lecture yesterday you can't put that in there you're gonna kill him do you wanna kill him that looks really dope I wonder where that is
Starting point is 03:58:54 a cool thing is I also watched some videos on aquarium twitter or not on youtube probably a year or so ago but the guy I landed on was a dude who just has piranhas and it is an enormous tank i don't know the the gallons but his whole channel is he will like walk out to his yard which has a million other animals and like pick up a dead squirrel that he just killed or whatever it was dead out there and then he'll drop it like fur and all into the piranha tank and you just watch as the piranha is like like every time they spend like 10 minutes
Starting point is 03:59:31 like going up and like nipping at it all nervously and then once the first one gets enough to like get blood there's a little rush and then by the time blood's around like it is a flurry maybe 90 seconds and then like bones floating down it's it's really entertaining look up the piranha guy channel i don't know the fucking name of it but it's cool it's funny you call it entertaining because i always thought piranhas were psychopaths fits like they're awesome dude right what does that say so they never move they sit there very very still like the most they're not really super pretty. They have red bellies, but they're not beautiful.
Starting point is 04:00:08 They're not beautiful. They're not interesting. They have no personality. They don't move, but they eat like psychos. And it's like, do you like watching things die? Do you like buying goldfish to feed to your piranha? If you get off on that,anhas your fish it was interesting to watch it like when he threw a live bullfrog in there oh and you watched like the live bullfrog
Starting point is 04:00:32 like try to hide and then they're like nipping at it i'm like well this is it's like that russian torture this is kind of horrible but also it's like it is a frog i don't fucking care god wants this god wants god if god didn't want it the jewish god said torture the frogs the jewish god said worry not there is no hell there is no hell man that that must be take comfort in your good credit like what's the worst that can happen i don't know i mean it could be i mean the worst that could happen? I don't know. I mean, the worst that could happen is heaven. Are there better versions of heaven in the Jewish faith? No, I don't think. I wasn't asking you,
Starting point is 04:01:11 tank commander. I didn't realize you were going to say Jew. I thought you were going to say Christianity, and then I jumped the gun like a thorn. Are there like multiple heavens I thought you were going to say Christianity and then I jumped the gun like a thorn. Charlie, are there multiple heavens in your faith
Starting point is 04:01:30 that you are aware of? I mean, there's definitely a heaven. Yeah, but if you're extra good, do you get to go to a better heaven maybe or does everybody get the same heaven? How ridiculous. Well, there's seven heavens. Really? Uh-huh. Like the TV show with the child molester. Well, there's seven heavens. Really? Uh-huh.
Starting point is 04:01:45 Like the TV show with the child molester. Yeah, that's where I'm going. Also, Jessica Beal. Mm-hmm. Y'all get this reference, right? There's apparently seven heavens, and I actually don't really know much. Apparently, that's not the same in Christianity. No.
Starting point is 04:02:03 Yeah, no, because it's in the Old Testament, but not in the New Testament. They're like, oh, you didn't get the news? Yeah. The seven heavens, they've joined forces somehow. They're all literally just one heaven now. Yeah. We realized that was unfair. We're doing one heaven.
Starting point is 04:02:16 Yeah. People in heaven one, though, still are totally. They look down on people in heaven seven. You can actually know. You look at someone like this guy's from heaven three, isn't look at this fucking outfit that'd be a good little sitcom heaven seven and it follows a group of friends who are just not shitty enough to have made it by and they're and they're constantly almost sinning their way back into hell it wouldn't do well it would be it would be a horrible show but it is a show oh that's and that's a show oh this is us being this was us being silly the jews
Starting point is 04:02:53 here i see apparently the seven heavens are in it can be found in judaism christianity and islam but it looks like they're they were just people or ancient observers looking at the moon, Mercury, Venus, the sun, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn and being like, there's a heaven. And there's a heaven. That's pretty embarrassing. Yeah. Huge L for religion. Well, we just got the one heaven and the one hell. Huge L for religion.
Starting point is 04:03:21 Just lots of L's since fucking science and like that shit came about huge l for religion common religion l dude common religion l when the people who work in heaven is that their version of heaven working that's their hell your ass goes to the gates with the clipboard. That's St. Peter, supposedly. Okay, he's working. Your hell is you have to work in Jewish heaven dealing with unruly Jews. I don't understand. I'm in heaven and I'm still waiting. What is
Starting point is 04:03:55 it? Can you imagine? God, I should have behaved. Walking over to the table. Mr. Goldbaum Steensilver, I'm sorry for you. Can you imagine how low minimum wage is in Jewish heaven? That's more of a luxury. It's an internship.
Starting point is 04:04:15 It'd be like prison wages, like eight cents an hour or something. One thing I didn't like actually about the Jewish thing is that when that lends to tipping businesses i don't know maybe they try and maximize the profit but tipping every jew i know tips big i don't know a single jew that doesn't tip big or like 20s huge yeah with all the sometimes 13 all the money that we love it so much they take everyone else's tips. Hang on, let me figure out exactly... Hang on, it's a dollar and 37 cents. I know, that still happens. I love when I would see George Costanza
Starting point is 04:04:51 leave the tip, take two steps away, come back and grab a dollar. Like he did a little math in his head and realized, ah, not that. He comes back for it. Well, I gotta go blow my nose furiously and then cry a little yeah i've got to play warhammer check out harley's fight where do we see it uh creator clash.com you can check
Starting point is 04:05:12 out the thing there i actually have a video up now of knuckle sandwich 2 just my whole transformation and stuff where's that fortunately less sam hyde that's on the epic mealtime channel okay nice but yeah that's up now. And was that your Instagram you showed with that dick root flash for us? That was for fun before. Yeah, but where can I find that? Like, where was that? That's on HarleyPlays Instagram if you want.
Starting point is 04:05:37 That's where you want to go for the dick root. Yeah. That's where I go. Thanks for having me, guys. 643.

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