Painkiller Already - PKA 647 W/ Harley: Wings Vs Boogie, Eat The Onion, Bud Light Ban
Episode Date: May 13, 2023...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
pka 647 with our guest harley taylor this episode of pka brought to you by lock and load
blue chew and of course real dbg.com bunch of wonderful sponsors you probably already know them
harley joining us from the top of big ben thank you so much for taking the classy up there it is
bro i'm out here in england i just got my dick sucked by the brand new king
I was like
Harley your sound quality is terrible
That's just a bell
It happens every hour
That's the brand new king
Sucking me off
Careful
They have strict rules there
I don't think you can say
Can you say fuck the king
It's the same as in Germany
When the thing
with uh displaying swastikas they'll lock you up and remember we're going there fast this time our
boy had his dog so throw in the new record so did the royal family have sex outside of just family
members i think there's a incest only rule but we got to nazis i can't believe we got to nazis in
10 seconds it's gonna lose that that's crazy well you know that was the whole controversy with uh what was that um the the the lady that uh
the prince married that brown girl megan markle is that her name yeah i think yeah yeah that was
the whole thing right you didn't realize that she was not white right yeah and i've known for a
while because i read it but i she identifies as italian to me my radar went off immediately i
i could yeah i could sense my said hey you know i don't want to be i don't want to be that guy
but i i feel like when you say not white it's like one thing but when you say not quite
it sounds it just hits in a particular way
not quite
it's also like anyone anyone who's been out in the sun at all in the last 30 days standing next to the royal family is going to look very ethnic.
Like, even in England, they're the pastiest people.
They hate sun.
The small amount they get in England, they despise it.
Let me ask you an honest question.
Has your opinion of England diminished, would you say, in the last five to ten years?
Do you think less of them as a nation?
Like, honestly, because I saw recently a poll of Englishmen,
and they were like, yeah, we feel like our country is diminished
in the last five years.
We are worse off than, not just worse off,
but, like, we're less powerful, less prestigious.
We're diminished.
I feel like they're kind of just our little like orderly we they do whatever we tell
them to do they don't do anything without our approval like like the us kind of oh you're
you're your country too if you ask people they're gonna be like oh hell yeah this country's in the
shit or not we got boys being born they don't know if they're boys this country's fucked up
and you go to if you go to Canada, they're like,
country's run by Fidel Castro's
illegitimate son and they're taking our freedom.
This fucking place is fucked up.
People will tell you if America is
strong or weak based on their political
affiliation. Three years ago,
the Democrats would have said this whole thing's
in the shitter. It's going terribly.
Wage gap or some complaint they'd
whip up.
Unemployment's the lowest it's been since like 18
years or something insane like that.
But Republicans
are still going to be like, the economy's in the crapper.
Everything's terrible.
And the inverse is true. They would just find a thing
to complain about Trump.
The economy is bad.
The one that bothers me is crime.
Well, the economy is bad. The one that bothers me is crime. Well, the economy is bad.
Why is it bad?
The corporate profits being at records,
the enormous, the very low
unemployment, the real wages
rising. No, real wages are not rising.
The consumer price index is going
up. Food, fuel,
all these things are more expensive than they were.
Excel spreadsheet would be the answer to gate, the let's see,
unemployment rate, average 5.72,
reaching an all-time high,
and it's fucking,
oh, this May of 1953.
That didn't really answer the question.
At least catch up to Reagan's time.
I'm sorry,
Zach posted it here, and I didn't really scan it.
Let's just all admit that most people would agree that things aren't going great right now.
I know the unemployment numbers are what they are, but I think a lot of people say that's a lot of people working multiple jobs to try to keep things together.
Most people's principal concern right now is economic. working multiple jobs to try to keep things together. I don't know.
Most people's principal concern right now is economic.
You're talking about downgrading the dollar
and maybe moving to another...
As far as what people's stated concern is
in the voter base, it's economic.
And I'm not blaming Biden.
I don't want this to slide over
into like...
Who are you blaming, Kyle?
Who are you blaming about the financial situation You know who I'm fucking blaming
You know who I'm blaming
I know
Just say it
Now I know who he's blaming
But all that aside
Do we want to talk about Trump
At that town hall
Because that was ridiculous
I didn't
watch any that was fill me in not a lot of lick okay so trump was found civilly liable for the
sexual assault and uh the defamation against that uh that that journalist gene carroll maybe
yeah and he's found innocent of penetrating her raping her or whatever and they made him pay a
sum of something like five million dollars combined he's appealing yes yeah um and who knows where that goes but the next day and trump trump was
like i'm going on cnn tonight on his truth fucking mobile whatever the fuck he's i'm going on cnn
tonight might go terribly for me might go terribly for them we'll see but hey they made it they made me an offer i couldn't refuse
so here we go i would love to know what they paid trump to go out there and in front of a crowd that
was registered they paid him i know they paid him they go out there in front of a crowd of registered
moderates and registered republicans and put on a show. He bulldozed that moderator.
She did the best she could.
She'd be like, no, no, no, you're lying.
That's a mis...
There were no moderates, by the way.
They were all Trump-leaning.
Trump-leaning moderates.
The lady interviewing him.
The moderator.
I was talking about the crowd.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, no, no.
The crowd was packed full of Trump sycophants.
Again, registered New Hampshire Republicans and moderates made up the crowd.
They made sure not to have any independents.
They were Trump-leaning independents and Trump voters.
It's important because I know this.
I'd love to see that because I wanted to see the makeup of the crowd more thoroughly.
It doesn't matter, though, because of how it plays on TV and the planet.
Because they played it and Trump was getting laughs, cheers.
And at one point she was trying to give him some shit.
And he was like, you're a very nasty person.
You're just a nasty person.
And they're like, yeah, it's like it's she's she thought that she was going to be there putting the fucking bright lights on Trump.
And suddenly she was in hostile
territory somehow the first question of the night was about january uh sixth so i saw this really
cool clip where again this was definitely um registered um independents and and republicans
that made up the uh the post debate like interview people you're like you just watched the debate
what did you take from this group okay yeah yeah they asked the guy they're like how did you feel
that he stuck to his lies about um you know the last election how do you how do you feel that he's
you know still talking about that and he's like well y'all asked him the question that was the
first question of the night and and he's like yeah well we wanted to know about it
that was his reply it was it it came off really well for trump it was i think it felt like it was
a huge win for trump um of course everyone on the left and the far left is screaming foul and
they're not just turning on trump now they hate cnn now cnn's the bad guy hate cnn oh yeah yeah cnn cnn fell off that's that's the word cnn
notoriously that's what my that's what all my homies are saying now cnn cnn has a new management
like it's off nah cnn cnn again it's great so cnn's been saying for a while they wanted to be
more straight news just the facts right because they were kind of drifting into msnbc territory during the trump presidency yep and they have a new
billionaire maga owner now and they're fired that's what they call him um he said cnn has a
new billionaire maga owner yeah that's what i keep reading yeah i forget who it is but it's a new guy libertarian he's
yeah he's like really like shifted what's going on there and like so they fired i mean they fired
brian stelter they fired a bunch of the most left-leaning people at cnn and the lowest rated
brian stelter and don lemon had terrible ratings okay they weren't and uh the new ceo chris like
i'm not sure that's his name or not and uh so they're trying to be a little more straight news.
And they held pretty much a rally for Trump on the air.
They packed the audience full of Trump sycophants.
They laughed at every line he made.
They supported him all the way.
They didn't like the moderator.
And now people feel like CNN did a bad thing to air his lies.
I'd be interested to see cnn's rating change in shows
over the past year or so because this just this seems like a ratings grab to try and like entice
people like hey hurry up watch cnn we need more people to watch our pharmaceutical ads look we're
gonna show trump looking good like granted i didn't watch it i didn't i did not watch one second of
this but i would say it all has ratings dude it's great um it's there's montages of it with air horns
okay like like they they asked him the audience asked questions too and this chubby white chick
was like asked him something about gas prices and i don't know minivan minivan mom or some shit
and he's like drill baby drill you know what i mean by that don't you
in the car so the audience starts whooping like like like trump was sexy or something
and then uh later on um i wish i knew that lady's name she wasn't that the the the one who was
interrogating him i'll say um she she was they were arguing how long after the riots or something on January 6th
that he asked them to stop or something.
She's like, you waited five hours or something.
He's like, no, no, no.
I'm going to have to whip it out.
And he reaches in his jacket and he pulls out transcripts of his tweets
to show, I guess, the timeline of when he tweeted.
I don't give a shit about any of that.
But just the double entendre kind of silly showmanship of,
I'm going to have to whip it out on her.
Right after.
Wait, it was a piece of paper?
It was a whole roll of transcripts of tweets, like printed out.
Bro, he kills that.
He's had documents before.
I've seen him pull out folders, and it's actually the funniest bit.
It's actually something I think he took from WWE.
People used to take out documents and be like, what I got right here?
And no one ever gets to look through those but he's conference he had all those papers in front of him and like
binders and folders and you're like people are like he's got the information I love about him
you're on mushrooms once okay
do you know your camera went out, Harley?
Are you still here?
Nope.
Okay.
We'll hear from him.
I got a FaceTime randomly.
Sorry.
Oh, okay.
Oh.
You got FaceTime?
Who randomly FaceTimes?
This guy I paid a jerk off on FaceTime.
But anyways, continue.
That makes sense.
I get that.
Yeah.
So Trump held a rally on CNN.
He did.
If you're a Republican, I gotta say it went really well for him.
And if you're a Democrat,
you're mad at CNN
because it's like
they betrayed them.
They should have watched more.
That's like being mad at a YouTuber
because he changes formats.
You should have watched more Minecraft, dude.
You wanted Minecraft.
You should have watched more.
Oh, you don't like the format shifting over?
Oh, you don't like me more?
I'm sorry.
He doesn't say the N-word anymore?
And he does charity boxing?
I'm sorry.
Hal's right.
Hal's right.
The reason they're making that change is not because, like,
ratings were high and things were successful cnn was kind of failing
yeah i mean like cable news is not gonna be around forever like they're already getting
blown the fuck out by the internet like if i i know tucker was talking about like doing
something on twitter doing on twitter yeah that's what i've been hearing and if if that like does what people think it will do which is blow out the total numbers on like
traditional media shows if it does it's gonna do crazy it's gonna do crazy consistency that's
one of the biggest tweets i've ever seen really show value but it's totally different because
his million his market is what he has to hope is that twitter's big enough now that his core market of
boomers actually switches over to it because a lot of the people who watch fox news are old and
they're not going to know how to switch over to a new medium they're just going to go to a different
guy on the same dude this is true this is 100 true can i pause grandparents don't i just don't
like the phrasing like they don't know how to change the channel.
No.
What I actually see it as is brand loyalty gets deeply ingrained in old people.
Use head and shoulders for 35 years.
You're going to have a tough sell getting them on lever.
Sell some blue.
Sure.
Sell some blue.
Get at that.
Thanks.
So they just get set in their ways and it's very hard to get them to change.
I don't know that CNN is going to pry anyone off of Fox, even if they get fucking Tucker.
Oh, no, I don't think anyone who watches Fox is going to switch to CNN or vice versa.
I was meaning the medium itself.
Like, I don't I don't think a traditional TV viewer is especially one in their 70s is going to pivot to online as their premium choice of media.
They might watch fucking Gregreg gutfeld and go well
tucker's not on tv no more like and that's like the end for them but if he manages to retain a
huge amount of his audience that's the only other guy at fox i know i'm sorry i didn't follow i
thought you said they don't know how to change the channel to cnn and i'm like oh no no they
just don't know how they're really good at changing channels they probably do it all the time but no
they don't know how to go to Twitter and find Tucker's show.
Yeah, they legit might not.
The same way, like, even us now.
Like, I know Harley's all over TikTok.
None of the three of us have TikTok.
It's like the first social media that's come out
that's been like, you know, not for me.
Like, think about someone who's 78 years old.
Why are you doxing me as the gayest guy here right now?
Can't believe you just doxed me as the gayest guy on the show.
I don't think that you do.
You can't see that.
You turned your head.
It's just me all up on TikTok.
How did you know I was doing dances on TikTok?
Did I talk about that last time I was here?
You showed us your chub dance
where you gave your...
Where you fluffed yourself.
I slapped it around a little bit.
I said I was going to tell you
I had Woody's dick.
Dude, I got to say,
I have never had such a spike of respect
toward Harley than when he just seamlessly
went yeah I fluffed
myself for that
it looked terrible
before I did it so I had to fluff it
it was pathetic
Conor McGregor does that it's pro move
you went a little too hard though
you don't want it standing straight out like that
you know what else I think of this?
I think Conor McGregor is also taking a lot of Cialis for vascularity
because you pop so well.
That makes sense.
And so he gets out there in those tight-ass shorts.
I think stage fright would make my dick shrink up just from being out there,
but he thrives on that shit.
So he's up there.
He's like, oh, maybe he's able to get turned on by those sexy ladies
over there. But sometimes,
unfortunately, you get the visual
of him just staring at another shirtless
man, and he's at three-quarters
masked, and he's wearing some
European-style undies
or something, and that dude's dong.
I mean, congrats,
but I don't need to see all that.
It takes an enormous amount of energy. You know what I did today? What'd you do? I don't need to see all that it takes an enormous amount of energy
you know what I did today
you know what I did today
I hope it has to do with Underwood
you see Wings of Redemption
I went
to the press conference
and I saw
Jordy
in person never met him in real life
you know if I had known that you were going to be there today,
I'd have sent you $500 to have you dress up as an old-timey whaler
and to be out in the crowd with a harpoon and go,
Yersey, blow!
You're driving me so excited for a second.
I was like, if I knew you were going to be there,
I was going to be right there with you.
But instead, you're like, I was going to pay it.
I'm a,
I'm a felon.
But I always forget about that.
Yeah.
It's,
it's,
it's sad.
It's sad.
I cry at night.
Tell me more.
Well,
it's so crazy.
One of the most crazy is like,
I go and I get up to the press conference and like,
this is where I realized that like,
like I'm a fan and I have a parasocial relationship yeah it's like my girlfriend
fucking look bitch oh shit his wife right there
oh look at it you saw the whole pod
and then jordy came in bro must have been 11 feet tall, 780 pounds, fucking came in.
I was like.
And also Boogie.
But Boogie, I've met Boogie before.
So I'm like, what's up, Boogie?
How you doing, man?
He was like, yeah, I'm good.
I'm really bad at this.
Both of them have to be under six foot.
They have to be under six foot because I only know when someone's under.
Oh, don't worry, Woody.
You're taller than Wing for sure.
I've been with him a couple times.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're taller, bro.
I saw it different when they had their shirts off.
Wings looked like he could put his chin on top of Boogie's head.
And in this picture, they look a little closer in height,
although the wings are still taller bro boogie drank prime boogie boogie took a big mouthful of prime energy
drink and that is what jordy said and i was like i was like i don't give a fuck bro like i'm fighting
there but it was like you're spit you gotta smack him you've gotta smack him right there you gotta
actually you know and then you back up into
like a karate stance that's comical so you can then walk away because you can't fight you believe
can you believe i met this motherfucker one time and i'm like jordy this jordy that let me correct
myself wings wings was like he was like i was ready for him to slap me in the face because i
was like bro you fucking spat that shit on your head like when i would have fought he was like
he could slap me in the face.
I would have done anything there.
Okay.
He's a professional.
Well, low-key, I was like, maybe he's mad. Maybe he's mad lazy.
He looked a little mad.
He's mad lazy.
He did.
Actually, he had one killer line because Boogie came out,
and Boogie was dropping all the common bangers that we know.
He was like, damn, Wings know he was like damn wings he was like
you left the mobile home and he was like everyone here is here to laugh at you and he was like and
when i'm fucking when we get in the ring he's like i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna drop you and
wings like we talking about man i thought you go up those stairs over there and they almost dropped you. It's true.
Boogie was low-key struggling just doing his thing.
Moving.
And Jordy seemed much more comfortable existing as a big man.
You know what I mean?
Not just that.
There was a moment where – let's show the clip.
Let's just show it.
It's like a minute, right?
Jordy hitting a heavy bag outside.
Is that what you're looking for?
No, let's show them belly bumping and everything at the
point.
I have that on my phone.
Don't pull it up!
You can see in that moment that Wings
is the one with the power.
They bump at each other like three times, and
Wings wins that every time, and Boogie
has to go to this arm pushy thing
to try to not look like a
punk.
Not only that, you're right and um by the way thank you woody for all the beautiful things
you said about me uh in regards to my fight oh god punched out of the ring and all that you see
that i love that yeah you took that well um you did you took that well yeah uh like i was thinking
about that i was like when you pull up my god, there's even more belly down there.
You should have kicked it.
I'd have kicked that little pooper.
You show me your pooper, I'll kick it.
I'll put on this karate kick.
You should have kicked it.
The hacky sack kicked it.
Kept hacky sacking it.
Twins has to because of his hips and all.
But yeah, a little sideways hacky sack.
Man, fuck that.
I told them both.
Yeah, where they were pushing, they were like bumping.
And Wings, and this is what I was saying, why I brought up my fight,
is that like there's an element of wanting it.
And my first fight, I boxed Aaron.
And like we were both like boxing.
But when I was boxing John, I was like, oh you fucking
wants this needs this and means it I
Saw them on stage. I was like
Wings fucking wants this needs this and means this
boogie's like I'm so happy that I'm not in a wheelchair
What and yeah, I mean boogie's like i'm so happy i'm not in a wheelchair
and wings is like i'm fucking ready to put you back in and he literally said i'm gonna put you
back in there um and i i think that is an element that is an element that wings has
look i'm gonna have to watch it's saturday afternoon at like 11 a.m for the east coast
america people obviously the fight's taking place in london or whatever
um man i i was completely wrong uh i didn't think wings would would actually go through with uh
any of this there's like five steps along the way where he could have backed up uh backed off and
quit didn't he have a hiccup that was like an excuse he said that too boogie was like contract
stuff but i don't think that was on his end.
I thought there was like a sickness.
Boogie was like you got –
Maybe I'm crazy.
Boogie was like you got fired from your own show because you couldn't go camping.
And after this fight, you're going to have no money.
You're going to be living in a tent.
And I'm like sitting there next to my girlfriend.
I'm like, he's saying that because what happened.
There was this thing.
And I'm like trying to break down all the dumb shit.
And she's like, uh-huh. But after I went up to wings i was like yo man i'm here i literally like don't tell ksi but wings versus boogie is why i bought a flight from
country but i was like i really want you guys and he was like how are you and i was like yeah i'm
gonna be on i'm gonna go on pka today it's like tell kyle that i want to have the pka reunion
okay no i i wanted to i wanted to i want it i want it more than wings
i was like really he's like yeah he's like tell kyle i was like okay i was like all right
I was like okay I was like alright
so that's it
and I have to tell you
no
I don't know what it is and I'm going to save it for later
because I have no idea what it means
I was going to say
I was wrong
I want to be clear about that because
I really did not think he was going to go through with it
I really didn't
me neither I agree with you
neither did I
still got to get in the ring did not think he was going to go through with it. I really didn't. Me neither. I agree with you. Neither did I.
He's still got to get in the ring,
but he's 95% of the way there, so we can almost
call this good. Bro, if he
backs out now...
I'd be very surprised
if Wings does anything
but win this fight.
If either of them back out right now...
I'm right here here and i'm like
funny i brought my gloves just in case this happened turns out i have you ate too
i'm not redemption i think i can one of you guys up have to get mad
did you go in there and actually kill boogie like that's what would happen he'd punch his head off
his shoulders you know i actually
have any possibility of this fight being anything other than total wings victory or boogie being
kind of you know injured badly like hopefully that doesn't happen but just looking at boogie
standing there you know he really struggled to stand next to wings even in the
belly bump i don't think boogie could get injured i i feel like the thing is he'll go down too easily
to get hurt to get injured takes a lot of stick-to-itiveness bravery you have to you have
to weather a storm or two to really get rocked in boxing.
Boogie would drop too quickly for any lasting damage. Oh, no, not a punch.
I'm meaning he puts too much torque and his leg shatters.
His ankle breaks.
His knee gives out.
After that much time of doing nothing,
trying to throw a hip into a punch,
I bet you could really easily overexert.
I'd be pretty scared if I was Boogie way more than Wings.
He knows the limitations of the fight.
I just think the fall could be bad.
I know it's a canvas and it's spring. No, you're right.
You're right.
I thought that too, Kyle.
I thought the same thing.
I was like, falling is not something you do when you're a big boy.
Is a boxing ring the same as an octagon?
No, I've been in boxing rings.
They're bouncy.
They are bouncy. They are bouncy.
I recognize that.
Not as much as you would think.
I don't know. I worry that a fall
could break a hip or dislocate
something. If you're bouncier than
the ring, the ring isn't that bouncy.
The ring's hard.
You know what?
It's funny.
For my match, when i was going
down there like i'm sure they'll they'll have this too um i did my um walking to the ring
and as i'm walking even though if you guys watch like i was very stoic and i was so like
i'm gonna fucking do this i was conscious and i'm walking down that i'm like bro i can't believe
john hennigan's gonna be punching me in the face and like i'm like this guy's gonna punch that i'm like bro i can't believe john hennigan's gonna be punching me in the face
and like i'm like this guy's gonna punch me i have to punch him in the face this is fucked
and like i don't know wings i feel like almost has it but i don't know if boogie has that i'll
make a boogie graph like you're gonna have to fucking punch him in the face and I like I feel like
wings means it more I'm surprised neither of them got a trainer or
anything like that I did that right away a lot of creators on creator clash the
first time didn't get a trainer or boxing coach the second one everyone did
but the first one I was like very fucking crazy someone's gonna be trying
to punch you in the head you don't want to learn how to
and I see them both they're punching their things
they're punching their things but you know I don't know
talk to me you're a boxing
aficionado a boxer a professional
boxer what am I saying you've looked at
the form of wings you've looked at the form of boogie
tell me your analysis
both very well I think
I think wings his punches
just watching like the keemstar thing that
he's on there i think wings looks like he he punches harder and more accurate it looks like
he punches harder and more accurate and like i said like bro like boogies been a little cushy
if you can think of a person who's got the pent-up anger on YouTube.
It's these two.
Yeah, but Wings especially, right?
Like, when you walk out there, Wings isn't even going to see Boogie.
If he's smart, if he's smart, Wings will see Sean Ranklin in front of him.
He's not going to see Boogie.
He's going to see every person that's ever made a thing or a video or what if he'd beaten up keemstar right here like how crazy is that if he'd taken that's not even
keemstar that's overt flow he looks a lot like him well except i think i'm pretty sure overt
flow is like normal height i mean they look so much You see, right? Yeah, you're totally right.
I didn't know
that was overt flow because I don't know him by
sight, but I made a joke the other day when I saw
those two together also wearing
sunglasses at the same time that
Keemstar was like Hitler, that he had a body
double at all times.
Ready to take that bullet for him
so he can disappear down to Argentina
with all his money.
Like one day he's going to push it too far and he's just going to –
that overt flow button is going to get pressed.
I'm living my nightmare timeline and I can't believe it that I'm happy with it.
Because like my nightmare timeline, I was like,
what if I like lose in spectacular fashion after like beefing with Keemstar a whole bunch?
And thank you, my brother.
And beefing with Keemstar so much.
And like what if like that happens?
And I'm like, then what if Keemstar makes my dream match happen, actually gets wings out to the UK?
Then I'm going to have to be like Keemstar is the best YouTuber that ever existed.
He doesn't even have a YouTube channel anymore.
I don't even think he's allowed to.
Yeah, exactly.
He's like, you know what I'm saying?
I'm like, well, I lost and fucking Wings is in London.
I'm here to watch him.
I'm like, it's actually kind of chill this whole thing, you know?
I want to get my two cents on watching those two throw punches
because the thing that we noticed way back when,
when we first saw that first footage of Boogie was that, like,
he doesn't rotate his hips.
It's all arm punches, and that's not poor technique.
You don't fix that with a trainer.
That's someone who's immobile.
That's someone who has a handicap because of their weight and hip issues.
So that's why I say these guys don't need trainers.
All you're going to do is get hurt.
Like all they could do is over train.
They're both handicapped men.
You're not going to teach them this new physical skill that requires coordination and endurance and power and all those things.
You know what?
But you know what?
I think like what a trainer can do is finding what's good for you and i've
gone to a trainer like when i was in bad shape and he was like yeah he's like let's go on our
on our let's do crab walking he made me crab walk and i never saw him again i was like fuck that too
hard like i don't want to i don't mean to be rude but like if i'm like a trainer for boogie or wings
and i've been there too i was like you know for over 310 pounds. If you train it for me, I just want someone to come with a fucking leash,
put it on my neck and take me for a walk.
If that's the level that I need,
then I,
I,
I like that.
I have the accountability and I paid for a person to come take me for a
walk.
So they should literally should have hired a dog Walker and had them walk
around the block three times a day.
And you know what?
That would be a big deal.
Look, there's this with your knees.
Oh, my God.
All right, this is silly and for YouTube.
I think you should have hired a trainer.
And I'm surprised I'm the only one who thinks that.
Someone teach this guy to keep his hands up.
Someone teach this guy what defense looks like,
to blade his upper body.
These are all things that are quick.
Yeah, look, he almost hurt himself.
He almost hurt himself right there.
Someone teach him to set up his right with his left, right?
Jab, jab, hook.
Like just some combos.
What for?
Because he doesn't know that.
There is some low-hanging fruit of improvement that they didn't grasp.
They're just going to show up with emulating people they've seen on TV
and never having learned really?
I mean, they've seen the best and never having learned really. I mean,
they've seen the best in the world.
They've been watching.
Do you think,
let me think,
let me be,
let me be like crazy for a second.
There's no shot that these two guys are like posted up with fucking
mountain dudes and hot fetus in the same hotel right now.
And they're like doing rock paper scissors to see who takes the fall in the
first round,
a minute and 30 seconds in, and they're both like,
fuck Keemstar.
There's no way Wings would do that.
Wings knows he has the W.
Wings would do that. Wings has tried to do things like that
before.
I know, I actually know this!
He's literally tried to pay people to take the fall
before.
Don't say Wings wouldn't do this.
I didn't know that.
I know so much
about him yeah when people try to fuck people be like wings wouldn't do that i'm like actually he
did that here's the recording can you film me what was the the fight quickly what happened was
after he lost that 1v1 on bog infamously to uh to um help syndicate. Oh my god, Zach. Amazing work.
This is literally his
communications with Syndicate, maybe a few
days to a week afterwards after there was a big
stink. He's wanting to redo
the match, and he's wanting Syndicate
to take the fall, and
they're going to split the prize money
that's going to be put up by Alki
David to stream the whole thing.
In this deal, if you look carefully,
Wings gets the money, I think, right?
No, no. He's spending it
$3,000, $2,000 syndicates
away. So he's going to give us
60%.
You happened to accidentally
mention the one person more
fascinating than either of them. Have any
of you met Alki David?
Yeah. You met him in person i spent
a weekend with him he tried to hire me he tried to hire me to run one of his companies really
what this guy by the way guys this guy is uh he's like a multi-billionaire or something his
his family is like european or something yeah coca-cola in europe or something like that um and uh he
got obsessed with like youtube gaming and stuff we took a couple meetings with him
and he was getting sued at the time by like discovery or something because uh they didn't
have the rights he didn't have the rights to uh do some shit i'm not sure and uh he he happened to be one of the most interesting guys ever because he's just
like he was just so crazy rich and somehow was like balls deep in the youtube gaming community
no oh wait did he well actually fake live stream suicide might be pretty accurate. Yeah. So here's what he did.
He told everyone he announced that he was going to live stream.
What does it call an assisted suicide?
It's my favorite rock band, the youth in Asia.
All right.
So he said he was going to announce this guy who was I'm sorry, live stream this guy who was terminally ill and they would live stream him dying.
And I'm not even against that like well
the live streaming seems a little not cool but uh the idea of someone like just living a few more
weeks or months in pain and ending early like you get my thumbs up if that's what you want to do
but the internet whoa thumbs down he was gonna like murder this person is how they viewed him
and it turns out that this
was all kind of a scam. It was
sort of a prank they're playing on the viewers.
They ended up doing the
live stream and after they killed
the guy, they got up and danced and they
played Monster Mash.
Zach, if you
can, while we're talking about
can you pull up Alki David farting
into the microphone at his wife's fashion show? If you want, what we were talking about, can you pull up Alki David farting into the microphone at his wife's fashion show?
If you want.
I just found this like such an excellent demonstration of power.
This guy, like he put on this fashion, like whatever his wife was doing here.
I don't know what her thing was, but she had dreams and ambitions and he helped her do it. It looks like he kind of made it all happen, put it all together.
And it's this show and they're like on the red carpet for her launch.
Of course, the owners of 9021 Go and of course Have Faith and Film On and many, many other
companies. Good to have you here.
Thank you so much.
You look beautiful, Anushka.
Well, I'm a little bit chilly, Jan.
That's okay.
What the fuck?
Then he gives it back to her to talk into it.
She's like, Alki, I don't want this in my face right now.
Then he laughs.
He's like, haha.
When I get the sound out, you heard it really loud.
And I was like, this guy.
And I think he owned Film On.
I think Alki owned Film On at the time.
I think he did.
Yeah, I was like, low-key,
very respectful behavior.
For those of you who didn't watch the video,
he just grabbed the mic
from the interview and farted in it.
That was awful
is he still going on it is a demonstration of power it is like all of these people are
subservient to me i can fart in this mic with no consequences because yeah david yeah and no one
knows anything about what happened there or what they were doing or what any of it was
but we remembered the
fart into the microphone.
There's not like this fart police out there.
Any of us can do it. It's just uncouth.
You have to have a fart
at the time, and you have to have the
timing to grab it before it's done.
It's an in-the-moment thing. You don't walk around
locked and loaded with farts.
You think he came there that day?
He made a decision real time, real quick,
boom, improv. Real time? No, he planned
that. He had some cauliflower 30
minutes in.
He was eating steamed broccoli in the limo.
Peppers.
We had a meeting
with him and we went and it was my partner
and I and we were kind of waiting.
We were like, oh yeah, we were meeting
with Alkia and we were like, oh okay. He's busy and we kind of saw that he was over there and he was like, we were like, oh yeah, we were meeting with Alkia. They were like, oh, okay.
He was just like, he's busy.
And we kind of saw that he was like over there and he wasn't really, he was like eating a
sandwich.
We were just like kind of waiting and we kind of hung around for like 35 minutes.
We had other meetings.
We're like, oh, okay.
We're like, okay, we're going.
And they're like, okay.
And like he saw us and, you know, he just like looked and didn't think much. And then we were leaving.
And then the girl was just like, oh, she's like, oh, they're leaving.
Epic Mealtime is leaving now.
And he was like, that's – by the way, context is like 2012 or 2013.
So he was like, that's Epic Mealtime?
And like he stood up and like ran out after us.
And he had like a mustard stain on his shirt and like mustard on his face.
And he was like, do you need to do a hologram epic meal time
i can get the hologram set up and he's talking and there's mustard all over and i didn't know
who he was really at the time and i was just like but later i said i was like that was the richest
guy i ever met in my life he'll turn me into a hologram with mustard all over his shirt i was
like it's crazy i was like i better go look him up i look him up he's farting in the microphone i was like damn we should have fucking stuck around waiting
for him when he was ready i like this guy he knows he likes mustard i didn't even think of him as the
richest guy i've ever met i've ever met but he's gotta be i don't yeah yeah i've never i think he's
up there billionaire i've never met a billionaire either no one of kyle has a friend who's very wealthy he um you know what he invented this is
cool you know um when you take a picture of a check to deposit it instead of like mailing it
or something like old school this guy somehow created that system and sold it to banks and
oh i love that guy yeah what a great guy he that has made life so great. What a good invention.
That's great.
I don't know the details of fraud prevention
in that, but it must be pretty
hard to do.
They prevent fraud by making sure it's on a dark
background and then you take your phone and go up and down
until it eventually takes the photo.
That's all it takes.
Sometimes
I'm going down on the check
and it cuts off some of it
and I'm like,
I guess.
You're the one taking the photo.
I guess that's okay.
You don't need to know exactly what it's for.
This is tangentially related to
the boxing and I guess
Sam Hyde and all that.
I know you're familiar with Fish Tank. Bro the fuck don't say that name what the hell bro i'm
still friends with idub oh fuck i don't know much about his drama and everything other than what
i've heard from i'm goofing around i it's so crazy. I like iDubbbz. Friends at the end.
I think he's great. I actually do think he's awesome.
I do think he's had an ascension and evolution of his
career. And I also
owe Sam quite a bit.
He put me, you know, he kick-started a lot of
change in my life, positively.
And I think he's a fucking hilarious guy
most of the time. He is.
Sometimes I'm like, damn, he really said he wants to kill her?
Yeah, but he did.
I think he's really bad on.
Did I say he was – did I bring up his husband a bit here on the podcast?
No, I don't think so.
He did this fucking – I actually – it's the only time I've ever called him up.
And I was like, can I ask why you did this? It's the only time. Like,
I don't do what you want, do your thing. It doesn't matter. But, uh, I like, I hang out with
people and they're like, man, what's the deal with him? And I'm like, Oh, he's really hilarious.
And he was actually really nice. And, uh, I doubt a Nazi would be that nice to someone like me.
I doubt a Nazi would be that nice to someone like me.
But so I don't, you know, I never get involved with his thing, what he's doing.
But it was the only time where I hit him up and I was like, oh, you said you would kill someone or you wanted to do physical harm to them. I'm like, was that a bit? Or was it like, were you like excited and you made a mistake?
I'm like, I do think he's a very smart guy.
And I didn't see the long play of that.
So I was like, what is it?
He was like, hey, man, you got a boxing match coming up.
You worry about that.
And after the match, you can ask me whatever you want.
Okay?
And I was like, okay.
I'll get back to you about that.
Yes, coach.
I had said that, and then I saw actually he got a couple of mainstream coverage,
and they don't want to talk about like, oh, he's doing this crazy reality show
that's so fucked up, which I want to talk about in a second.
But instead they were like, he said he wanted to do physical harm to this person or kill this person so i was just
watching him and jet the next day or so and uh this i thought like i i had a friend with me and
i was like i think of myself as good at this type of shit and he what he does here i thought was
like like on the spot like a master class of that type of thing
he was like uh someone was like hey man that chat was like what do you think about uh
like uh his bola uh beating up the cat he was like a fucking hate that little mutant or whatever and
he was like honestly like oh fucking kill him and jet was like and he was like oh can't say that i mean i hope someone kills him
and he's like you can't say that he's like no he's like
i if if someone killed hezbollah about happened i would be happy oh Oh no. And then he was like, Hey, if someone took garden shears and stab it into the back of his fucking skull
and stomped on his fucking groin until he was dead,
I would be the status person on earth.
Jesus Christ.
I was like,
he just,
he hates the thought of that poor little fella getting injured. Clearly. Sincerely. Yeah. He cares. He did it. He, he, he hates the thought of that poor little fella getting injured clearly
sincerely yeah he cares he did it he he he worked through it but he found it and he did it there
the the clips of him saying stuff that's over the line and jet being uncomfortable are hilarious
there's like a whole compilation of like sam hyde tos compilation and it is hysterical. It's him just like doing his
you know, going
over the line in his style. Very funny.
But regarding the fish tank thing,
so if you're not aware,
Sam Hyde has this
reality show where
a bunch of fish contestants
are in a house. All of the
windows and doors, everything you cannot
see out. the rules are
stay inside no weed and no phones and so it's six weeks of these eight people all put together
and the setup it's on fishtank.live is you get to click and switch between 10 different cameras so
you can go to bedroom one and see what people are doing there you can go to bedroom three living room kitchen all that kind of shit
and
it is a master class
example
of like why reality
shows always hire actors and are
always scripted because he
genuinely picked like eight of the most
genuinely strange
autistic people he could find
and put them in a house and the challenges are
often brutal and clearly made up in the moment counting and counting grains of rice he comes
and throws rice all over the room and he's like count the rice yeah he came in and like did like
the rice thing he'll do stuff just to upset them and then he'll do things to try and create
problems or he'll be like he'll barge in his enormous self wearing like a seersucker suit,
like just like dominating people physically in an uncomfortable way and be like,
tonight's challenge is the drunk dickhead off.
Whoever is the meanest, most ruthless person to your fellow contestants wins a fish buck.
A fish buck is a piece of paper he prints out with a fish on it that is purportedly redeemable for
$500 each at the
end of the show. And as he
introduced those, he was like, you guys are going to want to
take care of these fish bucks. These are definitely
worth $500 each.
Listen to me, folks. If I'm
lying, sue me.
And so he's
making enough fish bucks to people.
And people get kicked out of the house, but no one i don't think has actually
really gotten kicked out it's just people are so psychic psychologically tortured by text to
speech from sam hyde's audience but there is someone john oh yeah simmons yes because
they discovered one of the contestants this asian guy had written a book my understanding
was about his years as a camp counselor but what he wrote the book about was how to hook up with
the people at camp and kids that can't apparently it was too weird it was a bit it was uh it was
weird enough that the excerpts from the book
caused people to be uncomfortable.
What was the title?
The Most Dangerous Game?
The Most Dangerous Game.
Dude, it was so, like, apparently it was so reprehensible
that, like, Sam went into the house and was like,
you have three minutes to get your...
On his day off.
Yeah.
You have three minutes to get your stuff in the attic.
Jason Goldstriker went in on his day off.
Oh, not his day off he's like you
know norm he he was just in there with a weed eater attacking the kitchen and you're telling
me he's got to go right back in on his day off the uh yeah he was just in there attacking the
kitchen with a weed eater you saw that uh it a lot of it's a 24-hour livestream, and so
usually just every night, like after this, I'll pop
in and see what they're doing. It's either
sitting around doing nothing boring,
or it is
the most beyond interesting,
entertaining, surreal thing.
What happened recently, just I guess
yesterday, is Frank Hassell.
This ties in with Boogie. Everything's getting connected.
Frank Hassell is the gentleman who uh said to boogie i'm gonna come in your house and fuck you in the ass
that's hassle doctrine you know and forced you know you know obviously forced boogie to do that
that warning shot there was a goal that as soon as they hit their like subscriber limit or whatever
frank hassell would be unleashed on the contestants.
And so they let Frank Hassel into the house last night,
and he immediately proceeds to start tearing people's stuff up,
breaking things, being very uncomfortable around people.
But, and that was all expected.
This was all 100% expected.
Harley, that bag's so loud!
Harley, stop fucking playing with the bag!
I want to note that that wasn't me.
I was like, all right, he's done.
And then he's like, let me close it.
I don't want these to get stale.
If you know, so yesterday they brought Frank Castle into the mix.
And if you're familiar with another character kind of in the Idubbs universe, his name is Airsoft Fatty.
So Airsoft Fatty was this big, morbidly obese guy, is this guy.
There's an Idubbs documentary about him with like 30 million views, hugely popular.
It's called Full Force.
And it was tracking this big fat guy's like Airsoft journey and like his interesting life in Battle Creek, Michigan.
fat guys like airsoft journey and and like his interesting life in battle creek michigan and this big fat guy who's arguably the most likable like earnest genuine seeming guy in the world
airsoft fatty his name's chris at one point last night like he went up to a room by himself and
like started crying and this guy's like morbidly obese. He clearly lost his mother, doesn't have a father
in the picture in his mid-20s. He's had a rough go of it by anyone's estimation. And apparently,
a lot of people on Reddit and whatnot harass him and make his life very difficult. And he
marched himself up to bedroom four by himself and like started crying and saying like i you know pull it together i can't take this anymore it was very sad and frank fucking hassle walks in
and sees this guy like crying and starts to be like can i pause you know what i'll get yeah yeah
go ahead help me understand frank hassle is thank you character that sam hyde plays i'm right right
no no no frank castle the guy on the left there is Frank Castle.
He makes content where he hassles people.
He messes with them in public.
Oh, he's the guy that messed with Boogie.
Correct.
Yes, he's the guy that messed with Boogie.
And this gentleman here, Chris, Airsoft Fatty,
he was in this room crying.
And Frank Castle came in and saw him crying and started going like you know
you know kind of broke his character and was like oh you need anything man you you let me know what's
up and he started to leave and chris started to like open up and like cried a little more like
this is i'm having such a hard time frank castle like broke character entirely went over there
like patted him on the back, comforted this guy.
You know, the guy's saying, I feel like I'm worthless and everyone hates me and says I'm useless.
He's like, no, you're not, man.
Like, stop saying that about yourself.
It was genuinely fucking endearing watching in real time as, like, this dude who has a really tough life is actively comforted in a way that's genuine and human by someone whose
entire job was to come in and
fuck with them. The realness
overtook the act.
He also pretended to die of a heart attack
mid-stand-up show, which
was actually funny.
Are we completely sure that
that sort of
consolation and friendship
that he was showing there wasn't just the first
stages of sissy hypno that maybe maybe maybe i'm a fool and i i fell for it but it was
man airsoft that he was manipulating him he is he needs money it was a game it was a move
it was a tricky listen bro i know fucking money. I know manipulative money moves when I see them. My people fucking made the, they wrote the book, bro.
It's called Talmud.
No, I'm joking.
I don't buy it.
I don't buy it.
I do think it was interesting and it was great, but I see Airsoft Fatty.
I'm like, I don't know, bro.
That's your performer.
Crazy to say, right?
I know.
I know it's crazy to say but i always default so i'm like
but at the end of the day that's a youtuber and i don't know if i could fully trust the
youtuber really i met airsoft he was a nice guy he was cool but something about these youtubers
brother fucking weird me out i only care about me out. I only care about the parts
where he attacks the kitchen
with a weed eater, mostly.
I actually messaged him like,
bro, beating the shit out of the kitchen
with boxing gloves
was way funnier than it should have been.
Because he punched the shit out of that cabinet
and he goes, oh, whoa, fuck, sorry.
Like apologizing to the people around
as though he didn't just intentionally break it.
I thought he was going to destroy that fridge.
What is that house?
What is like?
All right, so I've got some basic questions.
Who owns that?
Is that a house like in the country somewhere?
Tommy will hide on his house.
Yeah, whoever owns that house made a huge mistake.
Like there's an enormous amount of damage but it's like
like does he own it is he renting it or is this an airbnb rented there's if it were rented i feel
like he came in and bought that shit out right yeah i don't have a vibe for how much money he's
making off this fish tank thing well the hosting's 10 a day right j? Jesus. I don't know if it's bringing in crazy bank.
Okay.
But it's definitely brought in enough attention to do it again.
Yeah.
I think it's very successful.
You go in there at any time, and you just see people spending money.
Yeah.
And I know these expenses.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
yeah and i know that he is i'm sorry go ahead you know i mean like he's like he's just like he's just a very funny person yeah he's very funny and i always but i'm like
listen i see shit like that and i find him so funny and i know the appeal of some of the other
things that he does and says um and i'm just like, I can't help but be like,
I don't know.
I have too much empathy to enjoy his humor.
Like I always put myself.
Yes.
Some of the things.
I agree with you.
That's what I'm saying.
It's the things that I too have too much empathy where I'm like,
Ooh, I don't know.
He asked a guy to hold pads for him, right?
And Sam Hyde had 150 pounds on this person who's holding his pads,
and he doesn't seem to be holding anything back.
So even though he's holding the pads, they're hitting him in the face.
He's getting crunched.
He is beating up a person under the guise of hitting the pads.
We just found the line, Woody, you and I.
I know our exact line.
I found that thing hilarious.
Really?
I found him holding the bag.
Very funny.
That guy, he works out.
He's a fighter.
He's an alpha.
If you're like, I'm a fucking top G. I love Andrew Tate.
If you're that kind of guy,
then it's okay for you to hold the bag
and get kicked. You're a top G.
You love Andrew Tate.
So, you can get kicked.
Do you know this lore, Kyle? So, this gentleman
that was holding the pads for Sam Hyde
has a pretty severe speech
impediment, and he's
Andrew Tate's top j and twist and take cope
with twate i love what the tape what is could you tweet this out yeah and you know what nothing
wrong with this guy i actually if i were in the house i would fully converse with this person
interact with him if i were another fish i would be like bro can we do some fucking push-ups please
what are you doing like you know you're pretty focused on this shit. So I do think if you're that type of person,
yeah, you can get fucking
kicked by Jason Goldstreicher.
On John's name of the guy with the
speech impediment, and every character,
every fish has their own little contestant
page that clearly Sam
wrote. And before I had heard
this guy talk, it was like,
you know, John's a jack-of-all-trades.
He may have a speech impediment
but it's often mistaken for a european accent and like i was like what and then i like started
listening to him talk and i was like oh god no it's never mistaken for european i didn't i didn't
know his backstory all i saw was the clip of him holding pads and he looked like a guy getting bullied he was he was a guy
getting he was and I put myself
in his position
and I think like what would I do
it's not like I could drop the fucking
pads and put
the fuck is it is Sam
in his place like it
well you're on the show also you're trying to get
money he has your phone
yes
it is wild it's wild this is the only time where i by the way i was like
this show's crazy i watched like i was on the third day and i was like this is the one time
where sam could actually get in trouble for something yeah this is the one time where i'm
like this is like this is like producer nightmare city because so much. Because not only is he doing silly things,
but he's got those silly people there who are dollars to donuts.
He's got people there who have attempted suicide or self-harm before
in the house with him under extreme stress
with all sorts of crazy shit around and cameras filming all of it.
I don't know.
I wouldn't want to be responsible for any of that.
I don't know how you get insurance for that.
You can't.
What is it, six weeks for $10,000?
It's six weeks.
Now it's $30,000.
He'll randomly go in and increase the amount of money.
I think it's like $30,000 now, right?
Sam is a very generous person.
Regardless of everything, at the end of the day,
when someone has been through it and they do it,
I don't doubt that he will be very generous. And I don think he's gonna swerve on them or anything what about the
five hundred dollars i think he's gonna pay the money for that okay okay yeah i really do i i can't
imagine him not doing that um he's he's it's he needs money to do his vision and he has extravagant visions.
I'm only talking to the person that's met him before.
What I gather is he needs money to do his extravagant visions, but money is not the main motivator for why he does things.
So I don't think he would hold out money or anything like that.
And even some of the crazy stuff he said, like you said, Woody, do you like me too i feel like i have too much empathy i get worried like you know maybe
my body's shifting like i shouldn't be a dad now and i'm like oh i don't know about this why it
could make me cry you know like i maybe that's what it is well like some of those kids are like
you could be their dad almost right you're starting to look at it like that it's guys like what is it like 19 in there i could be but i am also legally allowed
to have sex with them true like i'm old enough to be their dad and that's just my age now i don't
know if other people look at this venture this way i'm impressed by the business aspect of it
like this is a pretty big investment that he's
starting off i've never started a business where the risk was woody craft do you guys know how much
that's that cost to get going seven hundred dollars seven hundred dollars i made i don't
know how much i made on that it was seven digits though and. But that thing started for $700.
This thing, he's spending $10,000 a day.
But he made up more than that rolling in.
Go ahead.
We're a YouTuber again.
He's not just a regular YouTuber.
But once again, I'm like, it could be a game.
It could be a game.
Listen, his audience, they love to pay money to him.
They pay so much on the text to speech.
I mean, it makes way too much – I'm not saying he's doing this.
I'm not saying that.
But it makes way too much sense to consider being like these are the costs.
Is it really the cost? Are you trying to let people know like if this shit's not worth it, it's not happening anymore?
And you don't really get to speak English like that.
You don't get to be like, yo, if this shit isn't worth it, it's not going to keep happening.
But if you're like 10K a day is where we're at, then people know there's a milestone to hit because you want it to keep happening.
Yeah, yeah.
And I mean, the text-to-speech is, for people who don't know, like it's not like five dollar text to speech.
It's like a couple hundred bucks. And it's like one fifty and double at night.
Oh, one fifty double at night. And also like there are sound effects you can play that are boomingly loud at people.
And I think those are even more expensive than text to speech.
And for like the clips are maybe 30 seconds long.
And for 20,
30 straight minutes the other night,
I watched that Asian,
the new Asian guy totally not be able to sleep because they played the
shooting one,
the mariachi band,
the hysterical breakup,
like all of these clips,
the clips,
Woody,
it's not like,
like, or like something happy. There's one called like hysterical breakup like all of these and like the the clips woody it's not like like or like
something happy there's one called like hysterical breakup and it's like two minutes of like shrill
screaming there's one called mariachi band that is like only gets played at night and it's so
hilariously booming loud like the second you play it there's one there's one that's just called uh
like mayhem or something and it's people screaming and gunshots going off that's like
help and bang bang bang there's all right now i think this is funny this hasn't crossed my
empathy line yet but it's flirting with it it's like yeah it is flirting with it and he is good
at that is flirting with that that line where I'm like, oh, this is bad.
I shouldn't laugh, but I am.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like, hey, how much is it to play one of these things?
Like $30 maybe?
$15?
No, like $150.
I don't know if it's secret or not.
I don't know if it's secret or not, but I spoke to him briefly.
I spoke to Julian, and they were like, we want to get an epic meal in the fish tank
if we could do that.
And I was like, fuck, dude.
I've been watching.
I have all these trips planned.
It was last minute.
I was like, wait, that's why?
I don't know if.
You would suggest yourself?
Oh, you would just visit.
You wouldn't be a contestant.
I would go be epic meal time like they're there one day and I come in.
I'm like, we're making.
I don't know what we would have done, but we're making a fucking epic meal now, fish.
Let's start fucking
burning pizza. Like, hey,
Harley, if you work for me for six weeks, you
may or may not get 10 grand.
I won't lie. Listen,
once, ever since I did box thing,
nothing concerns
me now. Like, I boxed
John Hennigan, like, one of the
most athletic WWE superstars
ever, and he was on the most athletic WWE superstars ever.
And he was on the most juice of life.
So much juice.
It was the ultimate.
And now I'm like, I said to my mom, should I be a cop?
My mom was like, why?
I'm like, I don't know.
We're fucking good.
Well, mine is old times.
I spoke about being on mushrooms or drugs on these podcasts i was like
but i could do it i was like or i'll be a fucking postman i could do whatever should i be a fish in
season two yeah i'll go fucking to the mouse i'll hold the bag for jason goldstreich while he kicks
me in the face doesn't matter nothing matters now i'm doing all side quests all extra missions it's
all the it's all the nonsense part i'm doing the cleanup now bravery
now that's what happened that you you the the cowardice part of your brain got injured in your
last fight no you know what it was i always thought i was like man i'm gonna get my ass
kicked one day and then i'm gonna be humbled i i saw my ass get kicked. And I'm like, bro, I never got hurt.
And I kept getting up.
And I'm not even retarded right now.
That's my secret, Woody.
I'm always retarded.
I was just like, I walked out of that.
And I was like, oh, that's so weird.
And I was like, wow, I'm just like losing and being more confident
i was like oh that played out but i do i'm kind of like i look at every other youtuber like with
this youtube boxing event and i'm like well fuck any of you up you're youtubers bro
i'm undefeated in youtube boxing i'm just i never had a win in boxing wwe superstars sorry
and also even when i saw john i said no i was like
bro look how juiced up you are bro you're fighting a jew relax you're fighting a jewish youtuber
busted out all the roids
i'm honored but like i think there's a little overkill, buddy. You're not fucking boxing George Foreman.
Great.
He's actually a very cool guy, great guy.
I love him.
No.
When the challenge came through, I texted him right away.
He's awesome.
He even let me go the next week, and it was in Chicago.
He was going to be putting over the local guy, the local champ, which means like, you know, that guy is going to win.
And that guy is a heel.
Like he's a bad guy.
And so John was in there and John is wrestling him.
And in the middle of John being about to beat that guy, I stormed the ring.
And I come in and I'm like – I got like my bacon strips t-shirt.
I'm like, people, like my bacon strips t-shirt. I'm like people.
I hope they know the shirt.
But I come in and I stormed the ring and I like I turned John around and I choke slam
them.
The full choke slam in the ring.
And the crowd was kind of like, what the fuck?
They're like epic mealtime.
But because I'm like, John's the good guy.
They were like, oh, they're like, youaltime but because i'm the like john's the good guy they were like oh they're
like your channel your views are down and fucking you fucking got beat up sauce boss you like what
up and i was like this is this is your job like i just got to play into it and in wrestling having
heat like like is just good like to go in the ring and have people already know
who you are and like where you're coming from is something that wrestlers hope to obtain even
yeah sure if they like you that's the best if they hate you like it's still heat it's still like
excitement and i got in there and like i was like damn the people in here like in in illinois like
fucking knew who i was and they knew why i was here to meet up john and i was like
oh that was cool and uh john set that up for me he's fucking awesome for that um and he is a very
cool very hilarious guy uh you guys should check out boone the bounty hunter if you ever have time
he like plays like a bounty hunter who's like a parkour jack specialist that like you know just bounty hunts uh you know
older movie but it's i think twice i think he might have been on yeah survivor he was on
survivor too he's a great dude he's really fun he was on real survivor yeah yeah yeah
a couple times uh but yeah you said can i be honest harley i sounds to me like uh you're
still taking a few punches at this guy.
Hey, did you really need that much sauce?
Did you really need to hit me with those illegal blows?
Hey, hey, hey.
Being the athlete that you are, did you really need to barnstorm me in the first round?
We couldn't have pitter-pattered around a little bit, made a show of it.
I did work out for six weeks.
I did promote this.
I think I made for six weeks. I did promote this.
I did come out well here. I think I made it very clear we actually couldn't pitter-patter
because if you go to, like, the three brief moments in the ring
where we pitter-patter, I do have better technique there.
I'll be honest, guys.
I actually boxed much better than I did that night.
It's so weird to have boxed two matches and be like, I boxed bad that night.
No, I literally did. I boxed very badly.
I think if you had a rematch,
having that experience under your belt,
I think things might go differently.
Yeah, I'll hit up the fucking
Ghost of Kiev. I'll be like, bro,
can you fucking run into me like 15 times
in the fucking parking lot?
Throw me up against this dumpster and beat
this shit up. I need to be of me. I need to be hard
again. I need to be Rhode Island
hard, you know?
I had like one
I had like, it's funny, I had
like one, I was like, well, I beat up
that Gamer, Gamer
so I'll box that guy now.
But in reality, every
single boxer, like
every single one, even the YouTube boxers
you box easy people bro when I boxed Aaron no one said to me bro you beat up
a gaming youtuber who you're 60 pounds no one said that everyone's like buddy
fuck him up dude hell yeah like did fucking even even John people are like
well you fucking fuck that guy out but I'm like yeah okay beat up a Jewish
youtuber let's put it on paper but no one
says that instead people are just like they like the wind so i'm saying if any of you guys ever
glove up just choose an easy opponent oh you get no credit for for taking on well i mean what he
gave me credit i love that hell yeah but like, bud. Beyond that, it's not like you really get credit for it.
People are just happy
when you win, so just go win against
anyone you can win against.
How young could they be? Do they have to
be over... Box a woman.
No.
What about a trans man?
I want a trans man. I'm going to make it fair.
Wait, a trans man
means that they are now a man?
Correct. Yes.
They identify as a man, and I accept that.
It's your funeral, sir.
All you people out there
with problems
with me beating that gentleman.
Well, you're just bigots.
That's all I've got to say.
I wish I took that egg away better than the children.
I'll come out with the trans flag
and waving it.
Stop crying, mister!
You hit like a girl.
I think you'll take that one
handily Kyle
you'll win
I've been watching
I blame the algorithm for like
just force feeding me shit sometimes
because I'll try to skip it as fast as possible
that's my way of saying no
but it keeps it coming
there's this chick
I didn't even know that CrossFit was a competition
I didn't know you could compete in CrossFit, but apparently it
is. And basically, it's just like working
out in front of dudes in your underwear
and it keeps promoting this giant
blonde bitch.
She's so enormous. She has like
eight-pack abs and like
kind of man face.
I can't remember. I wish I knew what her name was.
I wrote it down.
And you enjoy watching these? No, it won't stop. It doesn't make any sense. Kyle, I'm't remember. I wish I knew what her name was. I wrote it down. And you enjoy watching these?
No, it won't stop.
It doesn't make any sense. Kyle, I'm with you.
All my ads, when I just go to news sites
and stuff, it's fucking
pegging and fish tanks
and more pegging.
I'm tired of all these goddamn
gay conversion camps advertising all over
my Google.
But you like fish tanks.
You said that you were buying an aquarium.
I am.
Another one, yeah.
So do you want to talk to us about the pegging now?
Why?
Do you like it too?
I saw a guy who, he said,
I will.
What are you offering?
I just want to clarify.
The guy's wife was asking to look at some link on Facebook.
He's like, all the ads are for divorce attorneys.
Fuck.
Just pegging in Cialis.
I thought everyone was getting this.
Sometimes you get a wake-up call
when you're just getting hammered with
Domino's, Pizza Hut, Papa John's. I've been making a lot of bad decisions. sometimes you get a wake-up call when you're just getting hammered with like dominoes pizza hut
i've been making a lot of bad decisions yeah i i think that was probably uh the funniest thing
that older boomers did for that brief window was complain about targeted embarrassing ads
that doesn't happen anymore most of them have figured it out i think there was that one guy who was like an actual congressman who was like why are the ads always so gay or like
something something exactly but it's like that damn it's too bad they figured that out and google
was like you know you know why you know exactly why is there so much gay porn on my Google device?
And it's like, that's a laptop, sir.
And it's playing right now loudly.
Those are my favorite, like, creep photos, I'll call them.
When you catch some old geezer in the library, like the public library,
with porn on one of those computers over there.
What are the...
Those guys are just real rapscallions.
What balls to be in a public library and...
They're not scared of prison.
They're not scared of anything.
No.
They have no shame.
They go in there and they alpha everyone at the library.
Probably an easy place to alpha.
I've seen so many pictures of the dudes over there and clearly just up on a monitor.
He's got just porn.
Just porn.
Did you see what kind?
You guys watch porn?
Yeah.
Sure.
I can't believe how many people are so so anti-porn do you know people who
are anti-porn you realize like 80 percent of canadians sam sam doesn't consume porn
i think sam is like a absurdist answers to to much everything. If you asked him his favorite source of protein,
he'd probably say camel tongue or something, you know?
He'd claim to be 5'1".
That is true, and he's tall.
Yeah, just to be like, Harley, I heard you were tall.
I mean, I'm 6'2", so what are you?
Did I tell you guys?
When I met him, he said he was 6'4".
When I met him, he was taller than me.
And I was like, whoa, that's so crazy.
What a crazy move to be like, you know, not that tall.
But then later in the office, like on like the fifth day I was there,
he was like, dude, he was like, you got to get these.
It's so funny.
So you got to get these lifts.
You put them in your shoes. What? Yeah, he was like, you got to get these so funny. So you got to get these lifts. You put them in your shoes.
What?
Yeah.
He was like, yeah, we were walking around.
Like, you know, Joey was like six one.
It was so funny.
And I was like, oh, that's a joke.
And I didn't think about it.
And then I was editing the footage later.
And I was like, oh shit.
I rolled up the first day and he had lifts on.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
Wearing lifts when you're six five.
So I bought lifts. yeah it's hilarious wearing lifts when you're so i bought lift
and when i did the wrestling thing with john i showed up at that wrestling event and i was like
six eight i was like i was like thank you thank you sam for this little tip i like that
you can't you like you can't be too tall. He was like 6'4".
I was like, dude, I think you're like 6'7".
And he was like, hmm.
He probably had lips on.
I went to the wrestling thing.
I'm like, I'm going to do the lips thing.
And I'm like sliding them into my boot.
I'm like 6'5".
It was like nauseating.
Why would I go in there and be like 6'8".
But I was.
What do lips look like? They're like a little heel of your shoe. nauseating why would i go in there and be like six eight and a half but i was what it looked like
they're like a little like the heel of your shoe you put them yeah you put them on yeah you're
like standing on your tippy toe in your shoes what do you just do it just get them order them
on amazon you're gonna see three and a half inches or whatever like just get them so you're
just walking around like you with like your heels slipping out of your shoe all day?
No, no, no.
You'd be shocked at how seamless it is.
Put them in your shoe and it's like literally nothing.
Yeah, I get the biggest one.
It's like heels for a man.
Yeah, you're just on your tippy toes in your shoes.
I have some.
What are you talking about? Let's get some.
It's like next week on PK, everyone's like this.
I love that, Kyle.
What do you mean, get some? I have lifts.
I have backup lifts.
I have the same fucking kit.
No, I remember when I had to do that
shit with Richard Ryan, and Richard Ryan is legitimately
like, Richard Ryan.
He won't fit in a shoe.
Are those centimeters? Yeah, centimeters.
Yeah, I've got those.
I don't want fucking Richard Ryan towering over me
On the internet, I gotta get some lifts
I wore my big boy boots too
4.4 inches is crazy
I didn't go crazy with it though
I just tried to match him, tried to be in the same zone
Next time I see any of you guys in person
I'm gonna be bananas
Take your shoes off
No I can't, I have a medical condition
I'm gonna be a stilt like a circus clown.
Like what?
That's why you guys are tall.
See, they don't know.
I'm some fucking horrors.
I'm going to be hard.
I'm going to take boner pills.
I'm just going to be like, what's up, dudes?
I'm like penis pointing straight out.
I'm like 6'9".
I'm like everything's normal.
You're always turning away to fluff and turning back.
Yo, Wingstone, let me tell you that he wanted
a reunion.
Let's fucking roll up at his house.
We'll get to the address from Keemstar.
We won't even tell him. He'll be like, you wanted that reunion?
We're all here. I'm here too.
I came too.
The ultimate prank would be to
hook a truck up to his house
and he would just wake up and he's on the road. Well, the ultimate prank would be to hook a truck up to his house, and he would just wake
up, and he's on the road.
Yes, the ultimate prank.
Stealing his home,
kind of. With him in it.
I had never seen that
footage earlier of him
with his wife in a wheelbarrow,
but that was
good stuff. I'm going to have to go back
and watch some more of that.
Do you guys remember?
Yeah, watch that Keemstar video of them.
It's going to chill.
Do you remember that prior to the survival trip,
the first one that Kyle and I did,
Wings was excited,
and he was talking about his opportunity to prove his manlyhood.
He really had a lot of machismo invested in this thing.
He wanted to prove all his naysayers wrong.
It didn't work out that way, but he talked about that a lot.
He called Lefty a pussy 50 times.
Lefty's straight up said,
no, camping's not for me.
He's like, I'm actually a lot heavier than I look on camera,
and I don't want my big ass to be on this survival trip.
He said, and he's from Chicago.
He was like, I'm from Chicago.
I don't belong in the woods.
Right, right.
So those were the things that he said out loud on air,
and he says, not for me.
And Wings comes back with, you're a pussy.
You're not a man if you don't do this.
Anyway, fast forward 10-ish years.
Wings has an opportunity to prove his courage again.
And I think he's about to grand slam this thing.
I'm excited for him.'s gonna do it is this
it's like redemption of wings of it is he beats up you know what the real redemption would not
even beating up boogie just doing it i think just literally he's 90 they're just going early you
know i agree taking your shirt off and i think his shirt shirt off. He already did at the presser thing.
I couldn't believe it.
Doesn't the syndicate live right there in town?
Isn't that where syndicate lives?
The whole country is like 60 miles wide.
He can come over.
Seems like he's already there.
Maybe he could challenge syndicate.
If he beats Boogie, that's what he should do.
He should challenge syndicate in the post fight.
He should have that in his head.
If you see him again, tell him. Oh my god god that's fucking brilliant i saw boogie i was like bro
do you have a firearm on you if you do we fucking take over this whole country right now
but it's ready bro he only fired those guns with fucking swords at the end and those guys
have the silly eye there's no bullets in that thing no i just silly you could be the king bro you could be the king yeah he's like
been the king for five days you can go be the king yeah we're seeing the birth of the king of
redemption with this bloodbath of boogie because it's going to be a bloodbath he's gonna the fight
will end whenever wings decides it's been enough that's my prediction i you know what's gonna be so crazy is if he were a God forbid I either
because I agree with you Kyle falling is a big deal is it like that's not I don't have that 400
pounds I would never have a fat friend obviously never been fat Woody you don't know what it's
like I've been fat before you don't get it I get it. If you've not seen our subreddit, I think I have.
He's not fat fat.
Now, Harley, you're doing a little Stolen Valor here pretending your fat was ever like wings or anything.
Let's get real.
You never had to get inertia to get out of bed,
like building up momentum.
And however my back putting on socks doesn't count hasn't
boogie had health problems like serious health problems right yeah that is a fused spine or
something oh gastric bypass some sort of i i don't look i don't know what i'm talking about
but i had this idea that because boogie is essentially round, that if he falls over, it's not
going to be a slam. He'll just kind of
like, I don't know, like pushing over
a barrel. It doesn't land that hard.
It's going to be like a garbage bag
that's full of garbage
and like
two 10-pound barbells.
Everything's going to be rattling around
in there. The eggs are getting smushed.
That old bacon, that rotten stuff is just putrefiedied we need to do that thing where one person gets on
his hands and knees and the other pushes him over and conduct a science experiment i i worry for his
safety because i worry for the guy on his hands and knees that's about it wings looks like how
many going hard like when he was hitting that thing uh that's hard enough to hurt somebody
that's hard enough to hurt somebody that's hard
enough to hurt yeah you guys like you know what's funny about boxing i got punched mad so many times
all that like the only thing that would have really taken me out like with john and i would
be like come out of here take me home is a good bop on my nose i was i was thinking that's where
this was gonna go it hurts man i've been punched right on the nose sparring and that's the only time where like
my eyes tear up my hands fall and i'm like this guy punched me in the face
so yeah wings his punches if he got me in the fucking nose i'd be fucking crying i got in a
street fight once and the guy broke my nose in two places and just blood so much blood
yeah did that hurt like crazy no it was disoriented and
i immediately was just looking to get out of the fight uh i and also exact same thing as woody
coffee paste really yeah fuck yeah i always worried me i i know i talk about bravery and
cowardness i i don't typically just cower like that. I rise.
I swear it's true.
But in that day, I was out.
I leaned over, and I just marveled at the tremendous blood puddle I was making as it poured out of my face.
And thankfully, the guy just took his W instead.
Now, in fairness to me, one of my arms was paralyzed and in a sling, and I didn't want to get into a fight.
Wait, what happened?
What happened that someone's beating you up when you're in a sling?
Was this the doctor?
I'll tell this quickly.
What happened was I had a tumor on my nerve here, and there was a surgery.
I can't really see the scar, but there was a surgery there's this i can't really see the scar but there's a surgery there and uh um it was like my first day out maybe three days post surgery you
know i went home and but i was still on like painkillers and shit like that and because the
surgery was on my nerve i couldn't move most of my hand i couldn't feel most of my hand stuff like
that and it was in a sling and my buddies came over and they took me to the boardwalk. I lived in Ocean City. There's a boardwalk and we
would walk on it. And on the walk to the boardwalk, we passed these drunks. Now I'm in the back of my
group of like five or six guys, four guys, four or five guys. And my buddy made a smart ass comment
to the drunk people and they like
challenged us or something like didn't just let it slide.
So we all turn around.
Now there's me in the front of the group previously,
like limping along,
barely keeping up.
We all turn around and now I'm in the front.
That guy and my friend are doing like the pre dance pre fight dance,
you know,
step off,
step off,
get on my face, whatever. And, and uh just as arm and sling i reach across like this to like sort of hold my friend
back or imply like let's not get into a fight and i even said those words like when we were still 30
feet apart i was like guys i can't get into a fight right now like i i'm not one-armed and uh
they're like yeah i'll be fine anyway as i reach across
the block my friend he hits me in the nose it was a one-punch fight and uh this isn't a fight you
got ambushed it's sucker punch that's ugly your friend should have sucker punched that guy my
friend got him too and his lip was split in the middle like a canine and they flapped back and forth
and we
didn't get any W's that night
like a dog man
I have another friend jump in
and try to like
1v whatever 3 or 4
the remaining of them and then my fourth
friend
fucking skedaddled
he was the lack of bravery guy yeah that i don't aspire
to be yeah you have no i kind of i'm like really mad at the guy that punched the dude in the sling
he became a professional boxer i looked him up yeah really you gave him his confidence i honestly
think that's how it played out his name was like
bjorki or something i mentioned him on the show he's from philadelphia when did this happen
1992 93 something like that and uh let's fucking sue him our fan base found him and sure enough
he became a boxer i don't know if he kind of makes a story about me but uh but yeah
i may have really done that guy a favor he didn't knock you out yeah he knocked you out though the
next day we went to like court over like the police did the thing right and i'm showing up i've got a
uh the sling like i'm in court yeah and the guy's like this is all fake he didn't have that on
last night and uh i'm flabbergasted at this claim and i'm like what there's blood all over it
and the judge was having none of this guy's bullshit no he may have not known that i was
it was it was nighttime like i don't know how he could have not known but may not remembered it
correctly or whatever he was drunk but um his claim that like i was faking an arm and he thought
it was a fighting stance so uh uh the the guy was trying to say he wasn't the one that hit me and
the judge was having none of that too.
And they found him on simple assault.
But he was like, you keep talking,
and we're going to make this aggravated assault.
And he got called for simple assault.
He was supposed to pay all my medical expenses,
and I never got anything.
Wow.
Bro, you got to challenge him, Creator Class 3.
Yeah, is he lying?
What if he's way better than me? Then challenge him, Creator Class 3. What if he's way better
than me?
It's fine.
It's fine.
You just told me to pick a weak
gamer. I heard you
30 minutes ago.
If he's still healthy and he's still like a bruiser,
you're above it.
You're above it.
If he got in a car accident
15 years ago
if he has one arm now I'm taking him
now it's time but if he's still boxing
you can't even be bothered with that
I don't know if I want to take on a professional fighter
even if he's one handed
you should challenge him in something you're good at Kyle
if anything
his punches are even more deadly
imagine a professional fighter
with one arm.
How lethal those punches must be.
How accurate, how dexterous.
I'm just going to circle his weak side all night long.
What is that Bruce Lee quote?
He's not scared of the guy that does a thousand kicks,
the guy that does one kick a thousand times or something?
It's not one arm.
Yeah, it's the thousand punches with one arm.
The classic quote, don't fear being kicked once,
fear being kicked ten thousand fear being kicked 10,000 times.
That's true.
You don't want to be kicked 10,000 times.
I would hate to get kicked.
Yeah.
I wish I had plastic surgery.
I feel like I...
Taylor, your nose is broken.
I don't know if it was a fight or not.
No, I broke it in playing tag once when i was
like seven my brother and i like ran around the corner at the same time and his forehead oh i had
that and it like uh it shocked me like but it was the same thing woody and kyle said were like it
wasn't the pain that scared me it was the enormous amount of blood because we were in the unfinished
like hockey concrete area we had like a little net.
We were playing tag. And I remember like the blood started pouring so bad that like I went to go through the hall, the basement hallway that had carpet on it.
And I like stutter stepped because I'm like, I'm going to get in so much trouble if I bleed all over it.
But then I was bleeding so much that I freaked out.
I did bleed everywhere and then went to the hospital.
The second time was basketball.
And they had to like move everyone to the other side of the gymnasium in eighth grade because there was like
and it was it was this dude on my own team and i've said this before it was the same dude who
was it his head finger no he was on my team we were both like dog shit at basketball and so like
they put me like they they had colored teams.
And so it was like blue, gray, black, green.
I was on gray.
Dog shit.
Terrible.
I don't know if it was actually ranked by color, but I felt that.
And this other guy, he came down for a good balance.
Even our colors sucked.
Yeah, even our colors sucked.
Our shitty little pennies.
And I remember this dude jumped up phil grabbed the ball and came down
and it was like a total practice everybody else is already jogging back to the other side and he
came down and started swinging his elbows so aggressively as though he was protecting it
and i was the only person even close to him and he you know broke my nose on the same same line
yeah he was on my team there i have this this ring finger doesn't bend right because this knuckle got broken.
And so it doesn't bend all the way down anymore.
That was from the same guy, senior year of high school now, also on the same team again.
We were both on the same flag football team.
And I grabbed Matthew's flag. and that's the end of it.
Phil grabbed my hand to pull the flag out to like wave at the gym coach.
And he like grabbed onto the tip of my right ring finger and like broke it to
the side.
Let's fuck this guy up.
Like the,
like the nail doesn't grow right.
The nails all short and shitty.
And I remember thinking like Taylor and what you do.
Yeah.
What you do is you pull it and it pops short and shitty.
What do you mean?
It didn't the,
you don't have the tip of your finger.
No,
it's just,
I'll show it to you next time in person.
It's like,
it's a little fucked up,
but yeah,
it was all to the side and it hurt a lot,
but I didn't want to like go to the doctor or nurse or anything.
And I had seen on TV or something that if you break a finger, you kind of just pop it back.
And I did, and it did not heal correctly.
So, yeah.
You know what another idea would be to go to a doctor?
That's true.
I wanted to avoid
doctors all the time when i can you're jewish how can you avoid them they're at your family
there's like two extra like bone nubs up here now that aren't on my other fingers
like it's like wider and thicker and doesn't bend right i don't know but not cool
two two lifelong injuries from from a gut well not lifelong you know the broken nose was fine
the only other lifelong injury i've gotten in the past few years has been my my ass dent which is
it's starting to you know i'm i'm buffing it out i've been doing i've been doing a lot of uh
a lot of hip thrusts a a lot of glute bridges,
trying to earn my way back.
It actually is, yeah, but it's not –
I'll never have my lovely ass again.
I have such a wonderful ass.
The calf on my broken leg is like 90%, 95% back, but not 100%.
Yeah, if I stand with my ass, like in the mirror,
the right way,
like I can see like the big dent,
not a big,
I'm exaggerating the size of the tent,
but it's,
it's enough that if you saw me naked,
you'd be like,
what's wrong with the top of his ass?
Why is the,
why is the,
why is the like lower part of his back?
That's a damn shame.
That's a damn shame.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
I don't know if I'd want to go on. That's just me. That's a damn shame. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if I'd want to go on.
That's just me.
That's a suicide entry for Kyle.
I don't know, man.
I mean, the finger.
If it was just the finger or just the butt, I'd be like, ah.
But the combo, that's what I'd do.
The eyes.
You would have ended it all by now.
Oh, the eyes.
You poor man.
Yeah.
I can't imagine waking up and not being able to see.
That's the worst.
You just have to...
I wake up like everyone else.
You wake up, and then you wait 15 to 20 minutes until everything comes into focus, and then
you like everyone else.
Like everybody else starts their day.
I don't understand how to live life where you can't see well enough to find your glasses.
Oh, no.
If I'm wearing glasses, they're always right on my bedside.
And there have been times, though, where I have, in my sleep, knocked my glasses off the end table.
And then I wake up, and I'm squinting at it.
And I'm like, I know I did.
I know I did.
And I'm going around to surfaces around my house squinting.
And then I'll think, oh, I probably knocked it off.
Do you just get the wife to find them ever? no no i'm an independent boy take care of it myself
yeah i'm not independent at all i ask you to get my glasses because i don't want to get up
nope no i'm all over at some point i will need some glasses i almost look forward to it i've
it's it's a cool accessory you know like like i i like your frames i like i like all of your your frames that i've seen you
you guys have i'm all i'm often envious i'm like ah i wish i wish i needed some glasses
maybe if i just struggled to read like sometimes i keep make i have the print on my phone on like
the smallest and i and sometimes i do have to bring it close and I'm like,
ah,
am I,
am I losing it?
Is it time for glasses?
Cause I want them.
It's like a,
it's like a fashion.
That's indicative of really good eyesight.
That small font.
My daughter,
when she sees my phone,
she thinks it's hilarious.
She just like,
this is such an old person font.
You're rocking here.
You gotta,
I don't throw stones at that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know,
the old person
telephones they used to sell like oh yeah the jitterbug are you too much of a senile retard
to call your grandchildren the jitterbug automatically turns off if you try and read
a credit card into it the jitterbug is so fucking simple it looks like a
child's telephone that you teach kids their numbers with it it's it's like eight but it's
like nine buttons and it's just a big ass phone each button's huge uh i remember those commercials
i bet they don't make them anymore i don't know that's it but gosh holy shit that's a classic that is the old school version of what my iphone looks like
god damn you call someone angrily on there oh i don't know that
see they need to show that like that thing is 14 inches tall
yeah it's a big clamshell phone like that takes up your whole hip pocket when it's folded
oh is that what you guys are talking about yeah yeah they had a tv commercial i'm not familiar
with that thing this is the more modern version of the jitterbug though the one i remember is
even more simplistic the ones that were like you know advertised on tv and i mean that's just
straight up like modern you know android phone or whatever normal phone or iphone i guess whatever though they do have it turned up pretty
big i guess i mean the jitterbug is do you guys know anybody who like opted to go back to flip
phones and was like i would smartphones you would i would for fun on the internet no it's silly
stupid thing for me to say uh what i meant to say is, like, I still want my iPhone. I just wouldn't
mind doing all my phone calls
talking on, like, a Motorola
Razr.
I just want to take it out. I want to
have, like, the fucking, I don't know if you remember the
ringtone you used to do.
Hello, Moto.
Like, I wanted to do that,
and I want to pull it out and be like, hello?
And then I'm like... You're right. When i switched to the iphone it felt like it was a hundred steps forward
and four steps back because this the the clamshell opening up and fitting by your mouth and by your
ear at the same time it's a better form factor for phone calls it is only one I've ever been envious of, the phone that
I saw and I wanted,
it was back when I think the second
Matrix movie came out and it was full of
product placement. They had the new
Cadillac truck, they had the new
Cadillac four-door, and they had
these phones. When you went to answer the phone,
you pressed the button and it went
and it was like spring-loaded on both
sides. Yeah, it came out like
morpheus used it it was yeah it was all the fucking gotta get me the fuck out of here
and it was just like oh shit i wanted that phone and i remember having just the tiniest amount of
money to my name at the time i was a child and and that phone was three or four hundred dollars
you had to order it and it was like that was way out of my price range and it was shit that ain't it that is not it by the way that's a wild ass fucking device
remember the side the end gauge that's the taco that played games i've never seen that yeah this
is a video game phone it was supposed to be a phone and video game it's called the end gauge
and you literally bought games for it like it had splinter cell on it holy shit i better run skyrim now yeah i would you might do them and you held it like a taco
like you hold it sideways oh i hate that do you remember like when the coolest thing was to have
like the littlest phone briefly in like the 2000s. I remember a friend of mine
went two in on that,
and it was a little flip phone
that could fit in the palm of your hand
that you would go like that.
And I remember even then,
in eighth grade,
thinking like,
damn, that's cool.
And it wasn't cool at all.
It was stupid.
See, I liked remember because the thing was
my dad's phone he had this thing that was in like a satchel that you had like um velcro he'd open it
up and there was a phone with a curly cord that went down to a receiver yeah like he's calling
command yes he had an antenna he had the it was like a it was like a little leather satchel with a phone built into it.
It was so old school.
And he was just like, why would I get a new phone?
This one works.
That was literally like a car phone.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was like a car phone you could take with you.
Yeah.
Plug it in somewhere else.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you had to have it plugged in, I think. Yeah, you did you had to have a power for it i think it plugged into your
ashtray even yeah god knows it was like a briefcase it was like blasting into your your
head the whole time but but so i wanted the opposite of that that's what was cool and yeah
i remember at the nokia store or whatever they had those little microphones. And I was like, oh, I wish, Dad, can I have the $500
microphone?
He's like, you'll fucking lose it.
No,
we're all getting the indestructible
Nokia ones. And we did.
It was like, Derek Kyle was the gayest
phone I've ever seen in my life.
He hit you.
He hit you. It was a bit of a
feminine phone, I suppose, to be so tiny.
Yeah, you need a masculine phone.
But the phone I got and I loved was a Motorola flip phone that was blue.
And it had some weird claim to fame.
The Razr.
Wasn't the Razr?
I had the blue one, too.
No, not a Razr.
This was like the earliest video phone or something like that.
I think it had a color screen and it had video capabilities let me see razor yep it was not a razor are you sure the razor had video
capabilities though i know this was before the razor happened though like by a couple years uh
it's also the phone that jim halpert has on the office um if that helps i noticed that one time not really i don't know
that i believe you now yeah it has this really distinctive look to it yeah i don't know
back in the day your phone was distinctive though right everybody had a different one
it was hard to pick somebody you're right you're like oh that's dad's phone there oh that's my
back in the day like people had uh first of all, we bought ringtones.
Yeah.
So my phone would be sitting there, literally.
And it would sit there.
And it was the ugliest one.
But I don't know why I liked it.
But it would be like, Pimp, pick up your phone.
Pimp, pick up your phone.
You got a house calling.
House calling.
Pimp, pick up your phone. I swear it did calling. House calling. Pick up your phone.
I swear it did that.
And I would always be like, that's me.
House calling.
Hi, mommy.
I swear it was like fucking pimp.
Shout out to Wings.
Dude, there was a half decade span where no phone ringing sounded like anything other than like tinny, no bass music.
Dude, I was, there was a friend of mine who had a ring back tone until 2020.
And I called him on the phone and like fucking blink 182 started playing.
And I like had to text him after and be like, dude, like Carter, what the fuck?
Does everyone listening know? Does everyone listening know?
Does everyone listening know?
Explain ringbacks. So ringbacks is when you would
call someone on your phone
and while you're waiting for them to pick up, music
plays to you. And it's
annoying as fuck and it's the same thing
every time. There's no variation.
Yeah, you'd call someone and be like,
and then they'd be like,
He told me. He was like,'d be like, now if you want to go, he told me.
He was like, I'm like, why do you still have this, dude?
How do you still have a ring back?
I was like, dude, I have no idea.
I've had the same phone number for so many years.
I got a ring back in the mid 2000s and I still have it.
And I'm like, you got to change your phone number or something.
No, let's call him.
Call him on the podcast.
Call him on the podcast.
I haven't called him in a while.
I wonder if it's still there.
That'd be funny.
I don't call a lot of people though.
You know,
so I wouldn't even know,
but that would be ridiculous.
I live,
I live in Quebec.
I live in Quebec.
I want to tell you something about my culture,
the Quebec walk culture,
not even my culture.
French Quebecers never stopped. French Quebecers
all have ringtones.
And when they ring, other French Quebecers
still admire other people's ringtones.
Oh, what?
What's happening?
So, like, they'll be chilling, and, like, the phone will be like,
boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop,
and I'll be like, ow, hey, ha, ha.
Like, this happens.
This happens.
Yeah.
Literally, you're out, and you'll hear weird ringtones,
and you won't even have to think twice.
You'll be like, definitely, Quebecois person, 100%.
Quebecois people, love him.
Happy to be Quebecois.
Happy to be from Quebec.
When you go to the water slides or the pool,
any Looney Tunes tattoo, French Quebecer.
100%.
You can go around.
French Quebecois people love Tasmanian Devil.
Why?
They fucking love Tasmanian devil when i go to like the
water slides i play a game how many looney tunes tattoos can i count every fucking every every
french dude has like a tasmanian or they know a guy named pat they're like he's crazy this guy
we'll call him taz you know looney tunes and. And all the women that were hot or sexy at one point in their life,
Tweety Bird tattoos.
So that's what I've been seeing at public pools is French Canadians.
What, you see the Tweety Bird tattoos?
I've seen a Tweety Bird tattoo.
It was many years ago, probably at like fucking Disney World.
You should hit him with a motherfucking bonjour. Could was many years ago, probably at like fucking Disney World. You know what?
Could you gauge
if she was formerly hot?
No, I was probably
12.
You had been in puberty
for three years at that point.
That's true.
At that point, I didn't have the register
of a woman who used to be attractive.
Gay!
We're's gay now
That is true
Welcome now you're gay Taylor with all of us
Speaking of gay
I thought Wings would have a kid by now
You thought so
He doesn't want children
No he's a boxer
He's focused on his career
That makes sense
Oh his wife had cancer.
I didn't know that.
How sad.
I hate what I was seeing at the exact same time.
Didn't his dog die this week, too?
Oh, my God.
No.
Didn't you say a cat or something?
I had a cat in my head also.
I wasn't sure.
Oh.
Zach's not sure.
It's a dog or a cat.
Either way, a pet dying is pretty fucking awful.
I gave him my phone number. It number. What about a reptilian?
At what point do you stop caring?
Hamster? Hedgehog?
How expensive was the fish?
He's known it for years.
You're right. A fish dying is not sad.
At what point do you not give a shit?
I'm going to mourn if Woody loses one of his
flock. I thought we lost a fish.
I'd mourn more if his aquarium broke and the water all came out.
Oh, that's a risk too.
Yeah, we have a fish.
He doesn't eat every time we feed, so you don't know if he's alive.
I think he eats like bugs from the sand and shit like that.
So it's like –
Gay fish.
He sometimes misses a feeding.
No big deal.
Misses two.
He missed six in a row.
We're like testing for ammonia to see if he's rotting in there somewhere.
And then today, poof, swimming around.
Oh, that's good.
Well, good for him.
You need to give him a nickname.
I was just sleeping.
He's named after Zeke is the name of the cowardly lion because he hides all the fucking time.
So we named him Zeke.
Good. I'm glad there's themes to the names.
He looks like a Thomas.
The lion's name is Zeke
in Wizard of Oz.
Wizard of Oz?
Wait, what?
What do you mean Wizard of Oz?
He's the cowardly lion, though.
He has a name?
The character that he is in kansas is zeke
oh well that's see that's wait what a different character oh when she has the dream of the people
yeah it's he forgot about that whole element i think he's a coward in kansas too yeah you forget
about that because it's right at the end right where you get that yeah yeah and i remember like at the end of that if i were zeke and and i i'm this little girl like uh she's not a little girl
she's a full adult yeah she wasn't you guys know i'm straight right yeah you've been clear about
so if i were zeke and i'm at this house and this like full adult woman wakes up she's got a dream
you were in it you were in it you were in
it i'd be like boys i think there's a girl i want to fuck her it's like we just the first thing she
does when she wakes up is tell her she's dreaming about us guys all three of us she's like you were
a lion and you were made of metal and metal you were fucking so flexible i'd be like bro let's
fucking turn this bitch's ass up right now boy
there's a hole for each of us
I'm like right
everyone smells bad because they're in a
dust storm it's crusty
yeah that I remember even
at the end of
Wizard of Oz thinking
like I get she wanted to
go back home because she missed everyone
but it was a it was
a very brief window of like i'm back and then it's like yeah you are like like you kind of
like you're always getting blown away i think those books go on and on with like lots more
crazy shit you know the movie just kind of that makes sense because she spent her time terribly in the movie
i'm like you want to start like just like you want to leave this whole area right now yeah they just had one war or whatever like they could yeah like no so take mushrooms here that
makeup that they had on the wicked witch that green shit stained her skin for a long time
afterwards yeah her uh she did a guest spot on sesame street
because she loved children they deemed it too frightening she wasn't in makeup they deemed her
real face too frightening to the children and they didn't air her sesame street episode it's
really i thought that was one and then they had judy julie Garland on methamphetamine to keep her thin.
And they were taping her breasts down.
And that snow in the poppy field is not snow.
It's asbestos.
Yeah.
And those dwarves were once tall men that they crippled for the sake of the film.
I heard they weren't even alive at the time.
They had exhumed corpses and were
puppeteering them about. Pretty grim.
The flying monkeys were mostly
Japanese corpses
from the war.
It's true. I don't doubt it.
Times are different. Times were strange back then.
They just went down to the internment camp.
This makes me question the things about
the skin in Sesame Street now.
No, that's true. No, that's legit.
Did you know there was this – I listened to like three podcasts,
so I don't know which one it was, but they spoke about –
maybe one of you guys listened to this,
but they spoke about like this napalm,
the first time that napalm was invented at Harvard,
which Harvard acts like they didn't invent napalm.
Even though they fully did
and they were trying to come up,
they were like,
well, what can we do to Japan to get them real good?
And the only one's like,
the houses are made of paper.
Why don't we burn it?
And like one bombing mission
when they invented napalm,
they like dropped napalm all over uh cities that killed
like 500 000 just people because all their houses just burnt everything burnt the whole
fucking thing was just raised and we don't talk about it because like a month later they got
double nuked yeah so no one thinks about that but i feel like i'd rather get nuke than be napalmed in my paper home
you see am i wrong say that well the thing is where are you uh in relation to the ground it's
on my i get crushed by the bomb it falls and that kills me the metal falls on my head before it even
explodes for that there's time for my family to be like, fuck! And then it explodes.
Have you ever seen that Japanese animation
of everyone in slow motion
being melted by the bomb and their eyes
are exploding and stuff and the children are screaming?
It's pretty heavy metal.
But you're absolutely right about the firebombing.
And not only what they did in Japan,
but in Europe.
And I think Dresden,
they have a day every year in
germany where they fucking have like a dresden remembrance day and and shit on the allies
they firebombed all those cities i'm not sure how deadly nukes really are this sounds crazy to say
right like they're the most deadly thing mankind's ever created which might be true but they kind of
act like,
okay, when I was a teenager or even a younger kid than that,
like in the 80s,
there were these shows on,
like the day after tomorrow,
that just showed all of America,
everything living was gone.
All the trees, everything,
the entire country leveled to the ground.
No, it was a nuclear attack.
Really?
Yeah, from the Russians.
And people would stay underground.
People who had, like, bunkers and could hide for a while
would not be sure if they could come above ground or not.
And they just made these things sound so horrific.
And the bomb's so powerful.
And the aftermath.
You know how many people died at Chernobyl?
What does Chernobyl have to do with anything?
It's a nuclear
power plant that blew up.
The blowing up part didn't matter about anything
though. The explosion
like a pressure pop.
I feel like it kind of like...
They had to put out
more than it blew up.
31 people died from that.
How many people died from Hiroshima?
31 people.
I think it's a really low number.
Zach says it's much bigger.
Oh, that's the napalm that killed them.
That's also what the Soviet Union was reporting
as far as deaths. All those towns
and shit that got fucked up.
I think the hiroshima
nagasaki the death toll is like a couple hundred but you've also got to take into effect with
chernobyl in particular the increased cancer rates across all of europe there that that's a
whole different than a nuclear detonation right that was a nuclear fire just spewing radiation
how those cancer rates compare to new jersey i I would say they... I bet they win
over there downwind from Chernobyl. There are no lightweights in Jersey.
My whole family's had cancer. It's someone that's like, I don't even have cancer
and I live in Chernobyl. They have three arms.
And they're a stump. And especially when those films were made depicting
nuclear war.
Right now, I think the U.S. and the Russians have like 4,500 nukes each, roughly.
Like 4,500 warheads each.
But they've cut way down.
Back in the 70s or whatever.
I don't remember when they hit their peak.
70s or 80s, probably.
It was more than that.
A lot more.
Maybe 10,000 each. Maybe 15,000 each. It's 000 each maybe 15 000 the number is giant it was absurd and and so if they did that and they all have trajectories mapped it's
not like there'd be a part where they're like where should we send this one isaac like like
there there's a big button and they all just launch they've done that then i think that the
we go into like a nuclear winter where it changes the the weather of the
planet and then there's so much dust kicked up that's irradiated that all the dust is just making
this big rotation around the planet with the kicked up irradiated heavy think that happens
if we launch these missiles that doesn't well there's a there's a there's a website there's
a website that you can select the nukes and
Drop it where you live or whatever and then see what would happen and you could choose all these nukes and
Everyone likes to use like the fat boy or whatever like the big one
But apparently there's like like none of those There's like very you know those and and the nukes that are actually a lot that we talk about
are, I don't want to be like, tactical
nukes, but they are
not meant to pulverize
the entire USA.
There are thousands of city
killing size nuclear
weapons.
We can lose a couple cities.
We still could.
You live in the USA. There's a couple cities
lost right now.
Already.
You can Google simulations of what would happen if,
especially during the Soviet era, if both sides had launched their missiles.
It's a global catastrophe.
It's not like.
People in Flint, Michigan wouldn't even be able to drink water after these nukes.
I don't think they'd be able to see the sun.
You know, I think about nukes, I think about
the craziest with nukes
and
I feel like
the
I'll get shit
at the dinner table for this
one, but I feel like Israel
with nukes is wild.
Israel's had nukes for a long time.
That's what's wild, though.
That's like, if you think
about a person
who's been
through it before,
and that's the person
that'll use a nuke.
That's the person
that's like,
you know, shows up
the next day with the gun, and it's like, whoa, bro, we were just joking. And it's like, no know, shows up the next day with the gun
and it's like, whoa, bro, we were just joking.
And it's like, no, you weren't.
I know how this shit goes.
Dude, I see nukes the exact same way as guns.
I love seeing every country with nukes.
I think that the world will be safer
if we encourage nuke ownership.
If everyone has a nuke, nobody has a nuke. If everyone has a nuke,
nobody has a nuke.
If everyone has a nuke,
no one has it.
100%.
You don't think
Trinidad and Tobago
deserve a few dozen?
Both?
You know what?
Both of them?
Trinidad and Tobago?
It's the same country.
It's a trailer for Emperor.
Exactly, yeah.
Everyone should get a nuke
for a nuke.
I just feel like
if they're just like
Yeah nah we just
We had a meeting and
We decided to bring the Holocaust
Back
I know you guys probably aren't down but they would
Take it out the fuck turn the two
Keys let's fucking blow ourselves up
Let's take out the whole fucking
The whole Middle East is just gonna be
The whole country will be fucking is just gonna be the whole country
will be they're gonna bring it all down like samson yeah whole sewers they would do that
they'd be like no we're doing it don't you can't you can't yeah and i was just thinking
about like the extreme measure pretty extreme of usa to drop two nukes back to back it's really cocky i'm a huge fan of metal gear metal gear solid and um
i just like being in japan like i just saw that like kadeo gets a lot of hate there
in some ways because people are like why would you love the usa and a lot of his art is like
american military based like special tactics and they're like how could you be so obsessed
with something that literally nuke does twice?
And I'm always like oh that is an interesting dynamic
even though his whole angle is about war how like what war is and I'm like kind of make sense that he would be
Obsessed with it to an extent I can understand it, you know, but some people react differently
They're like bro if I got nuked by that country i would never that they're doing art about it or telling stories or making
characters that are like american and even though the whole thing is about disarming nukes it's
still you know it is like a fascinating thing to think about that it's like you know your
recent history your recent country history is we like wouldn't let them have a military for awhile. Like do shit.
And what's crazy is that they, they thrive. Japan's like Japan thrives.
Japan is like, like if, if, if it was a game of sieve,
Japan is doing pretty well on their way to a cultural victory.
You got like fucking every American kid in high school.
Like there's like 40% of them are dressed like fucking every american kid in high school like there's like 40 of them are dressed
like fucking japanese cats or like they're like like like weebs are very common yeah they're very
very common i like that about the the cultural victory of japan they like you can't keep them
down you nuke them twice they're're fucking making perverted vending machines.
You tell them they can't have a military, they don't give a fuck.
They're going to draw stuff that will upset you more than any gun pointed in your face ever could.
Japan cannot be stopped.
I think we should all take a lesson from Japan.
And their food's great.
I like everything that's clean.
It's great.
I like,
uh,
I think everything.
Also,
listen,
I think like,
uh, I think about like Koreans,
like I,
I grew up,
uh,
you know,
went to like high school,
the end of the nineties,
you know,
mostly like,
like early two thousands.
And it was,
uh,
not an easy place for an Asian guy to pick up a girl.
Um, and you know, I
had a friend actually Freddie, Freddie Wong. He was like when
Tinder first started, he was like, he told me that he had
created an account with because he was just not having luck on
the on the site on the app. And he created an account with like,
a beautiful Asian dude who was like a model and who was like very well renowned there,
you know, was loved there. It was like a classically a very good looking guy still
did not do well on Tinder with that, with, with, with a believable profile in the spread.
So, you know, he made a fucking believable, you know, he didn't look like you're running
the mill catfish bullshit. Um, and he was he was like yeah it wasn't good and i asked him
actually like we were playing call of duty like uh like a month ago or something and he had said
that and i was like so i gotta ask it feels like the asian male stock has risen in my lifetime
i couldn't imagine like uh it would be easy for an asian guy to pick up a girl with every single movie
portrays the asian guy is like the horny comic relief or something like that or it's like a
white guy playing it with fake teeth and fucking thick glasses or some shit but now it's like
k-pop popping off a lot of like american teenager style are taken from like you know that like even the
hairstyles the clothing a lot of it looks like it comes like right from like k-pop j-pop and there
is like a a love girls got love for like feminine looking guys these days way more like back in the
day it was like you want that big stupid jock you know
that big fucking dumb jack dude you know but like people like aren't people's tastes are so broad
these days and i feel like the stock of asian men has risen in my lifetime uh and i i god i do see
like you know door online whatever i see like you know asian dudes doing well fucking smoking
babes and i can't say i've ever noticed that about asian guys but i'm glad to see they're
they're on the rise according to tinder they're the it's the they're playing the game on hard mode
to the asian men are getting the fewest amount of matches.
That is a fact.
Do they get the fewest of everyone?
Yeah.
Asian women do fine, but Asian men is bottom round.
Ah, so their response rate's the lowest.
Yeah.
Well, then that sucks.
That's a tough place to be.
Hopefully it's...
Well, but I can't think of, like, you know, like when I was in high school, there wasn't...
You know, like I had a couple of cool Asian friends.
None of them like had a girlfriend in high school or anything like that.
And I never stopped and thought about it until Freddie said it to me, like literally like seven years ago when he was like, when Tinder first started, he was like, oh, you don't get it, bro.
Cause I was like, what's he up to now?
I didn't ask him specifically.
I should.
But we, I know he does a podcast. And I mean,
what's he doing? He's getting fucking stacking fucking W's and whores on with the boy and
me.
That's what he's doing.
I do. I do. Like I'll play like Call of Duty with him. And because I'm also three hours
ahead, you know, I'll play like at 80 at times, I'm up at like 2 30 and uh i'll be playing with him and
you know nico from quarter digital and i'm just like man this whole youtube thing was crazy but
if there's one positive that i got from all this is that like i have other late night idiot gamer
friends right now yeah like you know it's weird when you're like a way bigger idiot like i i played
um tarkov a lot i played to like 3 and 4 a.m because my friend larry's from california and
he's playing to like 1 a.m yeah uh it's that's yeah we're we're all irresponsible fools here
and then they say some shit to you they say shit they shit. They're like, fuck, bro, it's 1.30. You're like, ah, crazy.
I think I've told you before.
It's like almost five for you.
I think I've told you before, Harley.
If you ever want to dip your toes into Rust, it's a real fucking no-brainer.
Oh, you told me that.
I do.
I want to.
You got to set aside a week.
And we got to like, it doesn't need to be like, hey, you want to play Rust this week?
You got to be like hey you're gonna play rust this week you gotta be like how about july july 24th through the 31st we play rust it's gotta be like that because okay
like i gotta get my boys in order like we gotta practice up and like should i should i get a
bunch of hash or should i get a bunch of coke both i don't know what mood you're gonna be in
coke you're gonna actually make me sweaty and anxious
and no the funny thing is you just balance it i did too much coke i need more action
we're all so stoned when we're playing usually and like hours will go by and nobody has said
a word sometimes and it's like yo i've got enough cloth now and somatoscope cool let's make let's
make let's make the bows and like everybody's this
this like gear in a machine that we all know what each other is doing and we're just grinding away
these monotonous video game tasks hitting rocks and trees and shit it's uh the fun part of that
is when you when all that work pays off and you get to be mean to people and like talk a little
bit of shit too and soundboards are fun so we'll be outside people's bases like not letting them leave their base playing like mean soundboards and shit
that's usually fun oh yeah like two hours ago almost i said i was on mushrooms i hadn't finished
my thought so i was interrupting someone i didn't want to um but i was i was on mushrooms
and i was like kind of bad tripping with like my buddy we were not bad
but we just couldn't get onto it we were like yeah like uncomfortable we were inside it was
ugly out we couldn't go outside so we're inside like your tv's bad and weird everyone like looks
strange it's all fucking weird and then like I like just like let YouTube kind of like roll onto the next video.
And it went to like Trump.
And man, did the fucking buzz smooth over.
We had the best laugh just watching Trump be Trump.
Nonstop, always being Trump.
And it was like, and before this like it went from
trump and then it would go to like old school wrestling promos and then it would go back to
trump and it was recommended and we were just like trump is like a fucking 90s wrestler with this
shit like he was fucking killing it and i'm not listening he wouldn't have had my vote but fuck
if he was not the most entertaining man alive
just you know i guess this wasn't affecting my life so i could sit and laugh about it anyways
but like fuck man he i i like i saw the appeal of people with him because like i'm like bro this
guy's hilarious everyone here is taking it seriously and he's doing his thing yeah he's
doing his thing he's always doing his thing
non-stop like shit like like you said pulling out the like why whip it out like pulling out the
paper we were cracking the fucking binders everywhere and all the documents and like
remember when he remember when he he had the fast food for all the athletes that time it was like
some championship team it was a um the funniest government shutdown and there was no budget
there was no budget.
There was no catering.
So he just bought fast food for him.
No, but he loved McDonald's. He loved McDonald's.
He always bought McDonald's.
He loved McDonald's, but he made a point to be like,
not everyone likes McDonald's.
Some people like Chick-fil-A.
Some like Domino's.
We've got something here for everyone.
Something here for everyone, folks.
And then pull up the picture of him standing there
arms wide proudly with Taco bell in front of him it's it's the best photo of a president
this is literally why like this is literally why epic this is why epic mealtime can't exist
anymore and get the views you used to. How am I going to compete with that? How can I compete with the fucking president?
So that room that he's in,
the president chooses
how that room is decorated. The reason it is
all gold and gaudy,
he chose all of that. Or somebody
working for him.
Look at those gold-ass candelabras or whatever.
Candelabras?
I mean, he made it work.
You gotta give him credit.
Oh, of course.
I mean, the football players
are having a fun time anyway.
I think they were the college national champions.
Does that sound right?
They had the nugget sauce and silver bowls.
I like that.
I never noticed that.
Jesus Christ.
You know, Trump is a real Real showman I'm looking forward to
To his you know
Do you think he'll skip the debates
He's talking about
Skipping the debates which isn't typical for a
When there's no incumbent the incumbent
Skips the debate all the time
But not usually the primary
I could see him doing A thing where during the debate,
he does his own thing and,
uh,
his competing show,
you know,
on some other network or something.
And that'll still be entertaining.
I think we'll still get our dose of Trump being Trump.
Uh,
I do like having his opponents there,
but,
uh,
but if he doesn't want to do that,
that's probably calculated, you thing it it does make them look bigger to be in the room with him
you know him sort of having the point of please there are challengers i'm not i'm not not only
am i the incumbent i'm the sitting president technically speaking and i'll have that sorted
out legally once i get back into the White House.
I struggle to put my bias aside sometimes.
And in this situation, I'm like, you're skipping the debate.
You weak, pussy, pansy, coward.
Harley wouldn't skip the debates.
Harley would go in there, get lose a hunched out of the ring, get back in like a man.
Trump, on the other hand, running like a coward.
However, I can't completely deny the tactical logic of it.
He's up by, what, 40 points?
Something crazy like that.
The debates are going to help him.
It's not like he needs to stretch that to 50.
It's only lose.
Yeah, I don't hear about DeSantis.
I've watched a couple clips of him.
That guy's boring. He's getting his ass kicked by a cartoon mouse right now.
Who cares? So there was a moment
during the town hall
when, oh, what did she ask
him?
Who's in the boat?
That's Trump. Is this an AI image?
Oh my god.
Oh, that's Sarah Huckabee in the boat.
It is Sarah Huckabee.
There's Bolton in the...
Wait, who else can we find?
That's his wife. That's the easy one.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mustache guy.
Mustache guy is John Bolton.
Man, they always fucking draw him like he's not a fat ass.
It's so funny.
Yes, they always draw him.
He's like 40 pounds off his chest.
He looks great there.
Is Mike Pence maybe holding the flag?
That's a lot of thigh gap for a man of his size.
That boat would be
rocking.
He's still fat as fuck, but he's lost
weight since he stopped being
president, and if he became
president again, all that
weight will come back instantly.
I think that's Jeff Sessions
sitting down in front of Trump-ish
oh there's his daughter
Jeff Sessions has blue poncho on
dude this shit sucks
who did this?
who made these?
that's his daughter
fan of her, she's great
she should be president
wait his daughter painted that
no she was in it i said no better than that no i'm looking for the trump show man he puts on a
good show um uh there was that moment during the debate i remember now where she said uh
yesterday you were found guilty and he was like and my pulse went out like that like immediately
before she could finish her question it's like yesterday you were found guilt civilly liable for sexually blah blah blah
and my poll numbers went out like and the crowd's like yeah that's just he has no chance
that was like 10 minutes in we'll see there was a time there was a time. I think so too. No way.
No way. No way.
I've been wrong about this many times.
Don't you?
I've seen it, man.
People do not care.
It's so crazy.
People used to cover up their weird shit, even online.
People used to say weird shit behind anonymous name tags.
You're right.
No one cares anymore.
People are wild now.
However, when he goes
to the general,
being a convicted rapist is a problem.
The Republicans put that pedophile up
in Alabama, and he lost
in Alabama in the general.
That guy's not funny at all.
True.
It is different.
It is different, right?
Pull that six shooter out.
This is touchy touch time.
I exaggerated.
He's for sexual assault.
He was convicted of a minor probably, though.
They like him young.
I'll say this about the Republicans.
They like him young.
You can't deny it.
You rarely see them in a sex scandal with a 19
or 20 year old. Something that you could kind of get behind.
Oh, all of that.
Hollywood too.
I can't believe I figured out everyone's a piece of shit
and everyone's a pedophile.
Pandemic's changed my shit, bro.
Young's too young, Harley.
I think I've asked you this before.
Never mind. We don't need to rehash that.
I saw one of the funniest i want to make a new
quote wait i want to make a new quote here wait he's got me he's got a higher than average number
i think you you only wanted to date someone who was like 27 or 28 or something or above or that's
right revise that yeah you wanted all those young ladies out there to know, hey, if you're 26 or below, get away from me.
Get away and stay away.
I'm with someone younger than that.
You're saying wait your turn.
I lied.
I tell you I lied on the podcast.
I don't remember what you said, honestly.
I just remember it was a little bit higher than because I'm always like.
No, we have to.
Oh, we did the math, right?
We got to divide our age
by three
and add two.
I don't need algebra
to keep writing.
Dude, I love...
A mathematician whose entire
reason is finding a new
equation that lets him be a pedophile.
Taylor's going for like 12-year-olds in this scenario.
That's the math.
Yes, it is.
I just love math.
It is no other reason I do these equations.
It's like, yeah, but you're obsessed with consent math.
Yes.
I change the algorithm every year so that it ends up with 19.
I'm like, those are the rules.
It's the unwritten rule.
What do you want?
You're supposed to divide by three and add two.
I don't know what to tell you.
You said something about the conspiracy, the pedophile thing.
I saw, because most conspiracies eventually get to pedo stuff.
And I saw one thread on Twitter.
This was last week that like very entertaining it was
going through this guy a bunch of posts
about how dinosaurs
totally fucking made up
a ridiculous lie
not real blah blah blah all that
he's like the fucking
bones are radioactive but the
bones aren't there and like just a bunch of shit
and like you get to like the bottom
bit of it.
And would you believe it?
The dinosaur fakers also pedophiles.
Shit.
It's all.
Did you see that?
Did you see that coming?
No.
These guys can't even focus enough on faking dinosaurs.
They look at so much like that's everyone. I do like that conspiracy theory that dinosaurs are fake
because the word dinosaur didn't exist
until like 150 years ago
or something like that.
No one had ever...
Obviously, the story is that
for all of time,
we've been finding big bones
and not knowing what they were.
But the other side says,
we never saw a dinosaur bone before
and then suddenly they're everywhere.
And oh, they look like this.
And here's how they sounded.
They think it's a big conspiracy.
Yeah, but they take shit that's true and extrapolate it to a million.
Where they're like, did you know that these skeletons,
they're extrapolated from tooth bones?
And it's like, okay, that's true sometimes.
But that doesn't mean this shit's
a whole cloth and throw it away.
There's a lot of
incentives involved for them to make it.
Do you ever speak...
Go ahead.
No, I don't want to.
That their discovery was more significant than it really was.
That's how they get grants. That's how they keep going.
That's how they keep their jobs.
That applies to everything. That's interesting. get grants. That's how they keep going. That's how they keep their jobs. Yeah, that applies to every part of research.
I always thought it was crazy.
Like if you've ever been in a debate with a flat earther or someone like that,
it's a fake moon landing.
They know so much more about the subject than you do.
I have a whole new research for flat earthers.
I want to squeeze it in before the end.
Really? Let's do it.
Yes. Here's the thing that I have recipe for flat earthers I want to squeeze it in before the end yes here's the thing
that I have learned about flat earthers
you think
that what they're telling you is they think the earth is flat
nay nay nay
that's not the point of flat earthing
for a tiny percentage maybe
but overwhelmingly what flat earthers are telling you
is that they don't believe
fuck all unless you
really prove it to them right so
if you tell them there's a hole in the ozone they're like fuck you i don't believe you scientists
unless you can somehow demonstrate to me how there's a hole i don't buy it they don't buy
anything you're telling them without a lot of proof involved and and i think about what I believe, what I know, so much of what I know is just blind faith,
blind faith. I'm learning about how carbon dioxide lowers the pH in a fish tank or the ocean,
same thing. And basically what happened, you think pH is a measure of acidity and it is,
but it's actually a measure of the free hydrogen ions sitting in the water, right?
So when carbon dioxide introduces itself into the water, it becomes like hydroxide acid
or something.
It's like H2O3.
And then that loose hydrogen goes in the water, and it lowers the pH level, right?
I've learned how this works and the covalent bonds and shit.
I'm coming up to speed on it.
It's all making sense.
Cool.
I don't have any proof of any of this. I don't know. It is all blind faith. works and the covalent bonds and shit i'm coming up to speed on it it's all making sense cool i
don't have any proof of any of this i don't know it is all blind faith i i can't tell you what's
happening on the that hydrogen atoms are separating from like calcium carbonate or whatever the fuck
is happening but it can be proven that's something you could look at under an electron microscope and
watch happen you know and then the proof is in the pudding right when the chemistry comes out
like math but yeah but he's operating on...
I don't believe it until you prove it to me, right?
Until you show me.
And I'm just trusting that the people who can prove it
have proven it and that the peer-reviewed research...
But none of it is being proven to me.
And that's what flat earthers are saying.
They're like, I can prove the Earth is round
with photos and pictures and curves.
And we could take two 15-foot poles and put them long enough that they're not level anymore
or whatever right um they're like on a beach or something like that yeah but there's not saying
the earth is flat they're saying prove everything to me yeah they're mentally ill
but you can't live your life that way, though. Every step of the way, your boss,
you're at the construction site, you're like, hey, I need
three meters of concrete
over here. Concrete's not even
real, man.
You tell me the Romans
invented that shit
thousands of years ago and we're still using the same stuff?
Why don't they...
Try the Jews.
That's not a real one though right
they know concrete's real but a better one is from my own experience for the for until i was like 19
i didn't really know that medicine worked not really not for sure did motrin cure my headache
like or did time pass like 90 minutes later your head kind of went away i was gonna do that anyway
i don't fucking know taylor nailed it on the head, right? It wasn't until I had strep throat that got worse and worse and worse and worse and worse.
And so bad I couldn't swallow. I couldn't eat. I was getting really, really ill and weak.
And I went to the doctor and he was shocked by how bad I had let my strep throat become.
But I was a dumb 19-year-old. Didn't think to go to the doctor soon enough.
My mom always handled that decision-making.
think to go to the doctor soon enough. My mom always handled that decision making. And then they gave me something selling and in like an hour, I'm better. This had gotten worse for like
16 days in a row or something insane like that. And it caused an effect, right? That's when I
learned medicine worked. I was a flat earther with regards to prescription medicine or Motrin or
whatever. I can just, not that I'm a flat earther,
but I can imagine how somebody would be.
That's all.
Did you know there's actually another layer of it that I found?
Like, not all of them think,
well, I don't know if this is divisive within that community or not,
but some of them think that it's like there's an ice wall.
Most of them think the ice wall thing,
and that Antarctica isn't a little continent
at the bottom of the planet.
It's actually a ring around everything.
Get this.
Some of them say that's not even the truth.
There's the ice wall,
but beyond the ice wall is not the end.
There are additional oceans,
additional continents.
And these things,
they do not need evidence for.'re they're all in on this part
and it's fascinating it's really interesting and it's interesting the same way like warhammer lore
is fun where it's like i want to know what you think about the flat earth the problem is some of
it i can't tell if i'm being trolled like i can't tell if i can't tell this person who's
saying these things sincerely believes them or if they're doing it so convincingly that i am
sitting there making fun of someone while they're at home going look at these retards believing me
like what's interesting about what you said with the oceans is it invalidates what i talked about
right i was like hey they're saying prove it to me yet they accept on blind faith that there's
additional oceans out there.
Yeah, there could be more oceans or just an ice wall.
Like that part, the science is meh.
You don't know.
Prove to me there's no ice wall.
You're like, oh.
Yeah.
And see, that's all the proof I need.
You can't prove against it.
Let's do the ads because I want to tell you about the show.
Because it kind of comes into the flat earth thing a little bit,
or at least like an oddly.
The show we talked about pre-show.
Yeah.
Roger that.
Yeah.
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I'll eat that.
I'll take a bite of that fucking raw onion
that everyone keeps fucking bitching about.
Keep bitching about this
fucking onion.
It's not even a big deal.
Bro, I get messaged night after night.
Can you hear my last chance?
That's the thing about the onion. It's the last chance to be here. I'm not even a big deal. Bro, I get messaged. I'm on the other end. I'm on the other end. I'm on the other end. I'm on the other end.
I'm on the other end.
I'm on the other end.
I'm on the other end.
And then people are like, oh, this podcast is so lazy.
You know, I know the podcast.
They do so much.
This podcast is telling me to bite my fucking onion.
And I look at him.
I'm like, bro, you say fucking bite an onion.
OK, I'll bite the fucking onion.
Just get me my compils and i'll
fucking do it okay wind me up with those compils i'll bite the onion for you and then everyone
could shut the fuck up above the onion you know how many messages i got about the onion bro you
do because you probably got a lot of messages yeah people tweet me pictures of onions all the time
still the onion bitch and then i'll be like, at this point,
I'm kind of enjoying not eating
the onion and seeing people.
You're like, I'll get the Jew to eat the onion.
Yeah, I'll get him.
Fair trade. You got me those comtills, I'll bite
the fucking onion. I genuinely didn't know there was an
onion kerfuffle, but can I eat
the onion and take the bullet?
Yeah, you eat the onion, bro. I'll be honest with you.
I've built raw onions before.
I'll eat a significant amount of an onion next show.
I've eaten a significant amount of an onion on my own.
I found a new TV show I like a lot, and I want to talk about that.
And if we can do that instead, I will take a big old onion bite.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I will find a dirty, tired onion.
I get compels.
He's not eating an onion, and you get to talk about the show.
Everyone wins.
I will find
a conflict region
onion, a blood onion, if you will.
A acidic onion
that money can buy. I'll have to use
crypto to buy it.
Elon's onion mines.
Yes.
That's what they feed the emerald miners
in South Africa.
Nothing but those awful onion mines.
Like that movie Holes.
No, I found a new TV show.
It's on Prime,
like the first season is.
And it's basically Lost.
It's like Lost, but better if you ask me.
So here's the premise, okay?
And it's got the black guy from Lost. I don't know that actor's name. This is all I the premise, okay? And it's got the black guy from Lost.
I don't know that actor's name.
This is all I've ever seen him in, but black guy from Lost.
That dude, if you've seen one.
Michael?
Sure, if you say so.
Basically, these people are in a town that you can't leave.
If you try to drive out of town, the road just kind of makes a loop and brings you back.
Everybody got there
because they were driving along.
There was a tree in the road.
They turned around,
headed back the other way,
and now they're kind of in
like a pocket universe or something.
They're in this Twilight Zone
sort of episode
that is this town,
and they can't get out of it
no matter what they do.
And at night,
monsters come and eat people.
Do new people get added
to the cast? Constantly.
Okay.
This is Damon Lindelof.
I don't know what that, what?
What's the name of the show?
From. F-R-O-M.
Oh, no, he has the other loft creator
guy has another show, I guess. Okay, continue.
Where is it streamed?
So you can watch the first season on Prime.
That's the place to do it.
Amazon Prime's stream.
The second season, because it's produced by them,
is on MGM+.
Yeah, I'd never heard of it either,
but I'll tell you what,
I'm a new subscriber over there
because I had to see season two,
and there's three episodes of season two out right
now and I had to keep it rolling.
I powered through this whole goddamn show
last night all through the fucking night.
How long are the episodes?
They're like 50 minutes
each.
But what are you watching on MGM Plus
now? Now they're like, you want to watch Wizard of Oz
again?
When I bought it, it was like, alright, bye watch Wizard of Oz again? I haven't even... Dude, I...
When I bought it, it was like, alright, buy.
Now, episode one, go.
Because the end of season one...
I'm not going to spoil anything, obviously.
But the end of season one is a cliffhanger.
And it's like, oh, shit!
I've got to find out what happened.
Because a lot of shit goes down at the end of season one.
So basically, you've got these monsters that come at night.
And there's townsfolk at this point who are... Who've over the years and it's this real mixed bag and there's two groups one
group is kind of a hippie group that lives up on the hill in an old like mansion house
like a farmhouse really lots of rooms and they're in there doing smoking weed and drinking and
fucking and then there's the townsfolk and that's the more like the couples and the families.
And they're in more of a, like there's a diner.
And the thing, there were a few things that bothered me about the show at first.
I needed some answers, but there's so many questions at first,
they can't get to them quickly enough.
I'm like, all right, where's the food coming from?
They explain that.
They explain where the food comes from.
And then I was like, all right, where's the fucking electricity coming from they not only explain it they make it a whole
centerpiece of the show about why the electricity here is weird um and then i was like well all
right the road is some weird magical loop what happens if we start walking into the woods and
then they answer that they're like all right well let's go in the woods and find out the only thing that's a little hokey and they eventually explain it um a child gets injured
in the first episode severely and i'm thinking damn that kid's probably not gonna make it and
at the end of the episode he's on some crutches and i was like but then later on they kind of
explain that away enough that um i'm digging the. And it reminds me of Lost a lot.
A more low-budget Lost.
And it reminds me a lot of the Twilight Zone.
Like a good Twilight Zone episode.
Love that.
I powered through that first season really quick.
And I'm digging the second season.
I'll look that up after the show.
Yeah, I like the way that sounds, too.
And I really love Lost.
And I even like the way Lost ended.
I was content with the whole experience.
Here's the thing that fucking hooked me in the first episode.
No, it's too much of a spoiler. I'll say this.
They show a dead body, and it's so
gory and shocking
that I was like, oh.
You don't usually see that on TV. They show
a thing that you don't usually see on TV.
You're like, as a felon,
I am intrigued.
Oh, they wouldn't...
They'd imprison you.
Those cartel photos?
Yeah, it's a cartel photo.
But it happens in a room. You see it.
And, you know,
women and children aren't safe.
Nobody's safe. If you're outside at night,
they get you, and they skin you alive
while your friends listen to you
scream and eat you and
tear you apart, really eviscerate you.
It seems like an animalistic...
Going outside after night, after dark.
The only hokey thing is
they've got some magical talismans that you
have to put on the inside of your door to keep the
bad guys out.
That's not hokey in the context of
Judaism.
Ridiculous world. I'll call it a yeah a mizuza they've all got mizuza don't laugh at our words so really taylor's anti-semitic
my mom's old condo like she lived there for years and they're the old owners were jewish and so
there was just a mizuza on her entranceway for like four straight years and they're the old owners were jewish and so there was just a mezuzah on her
entranceway for like four straight years and she was like i just kind of think it's fun and then
like just left it there you know you gotta do next time you go across mezuzah just for jokes
like it's with like really jewish people i would never do this before you walk you kiss your hand
and touch it so you can just fuck with someone if you're ever walking into a home with the mezuzah kiss your hand and touch it and just like well just fuck with someone. If you're ever walking into a home with a mezuzah,
kiss your hand and touch it.
And just be like, what, you never show love to the mezuzah like that?
Is that what you're supposed to do?
Is that like the traditional thing?
I'm not going to let some person in the sky tell me what I'm supposed to do.
But yeah, if you want to go to heaven,
you best be kissing the mezuzah on your way to the party.
You're wearing an American flag.
There's no way I'm kissing a mezuzah somebody's
you fucking better kiss that mezuzah
to my brain
I'm thinking of the right thing
the mezuzah like that little scroll in the
tiny box thing yeah it's like a little
thing on the wall yeah yeah yeah
what's the nail what's that about
the nail
so it stays there
that's just Home Depot
that's not us you can use a sticky tack if you wanted I think it just stays there. Oh, it has to be a nail. That's just Home Depot.
Yeah, that's not us.
I mean, you can use a sticky tack if you wanted, but I think a nail. I just remember watching Larry David try to pretend like he was actually like a practicing Jew
because he's got other Jews coming over and he's like trying to nail up the mezuzel or whatever.
And then he's trying to speak it.
The other guy speaks Yiddish. And Larry's just making noises.
I've seen this.
Yeah, yeah.
That show's so fucking funny.
When they're on the ski lift and the chick's like, I can't be with you after dark.
I'm an unmarried woman.
I can't be with a man after dark.
Don't you know?
Oh, yeah.
She's like, yeah, of course I know.
Yeah, you should know the law.
Yeah, I know the law.
She's like, all right, well, you got to jump. gotta jump sun's going down he's like are you fucking crazy and she ends up having to fucking jump uh yeah that's great that that's that's hit the show
it's it's so much like seinfeld i thought that show ruined seinfeld for me because really like
i i didn't like the laugh track after watching Curb. Because, like, Seinfeld is never, like, the way the formula of sitcoms works is it's like the beat, joke, punchline.
That's the laugh.
Beat, joke, punchline.
That's the laugh.
But, like, the beat or the premise off the bat is funny.
So to not laugh at the premise and wait for the punchline when it's like the whole you should have started laughing and been laughing
This whole time and then your your cadence of laughing is like matched to the fake laugh. I just don't like it
I like I like her better now because of it
But I do have a really good show for you guys that I'm comfortable recommending. I really like this on Amazon
Freebie that is but it's called jury Duty. Have you guys heard of this show?
No, I have not.
Is it new?
Yes, fake trial, fake jury.
Everything is fake except for one juror is not.
And so the whole thing is fake
and he goes to jury duty to get selected
and he thinks that they're filming the whole process,
but there's way more fake cameras
that he doesn't
know about that are hidden and everything so he's like calling out of work to be on a reality show
that he doesn't know and what's really he thinks he's obligated by law and what's really funny is
james marsden if you guys know that the guy in sonic the hedgehog that's with sonic he's got
like cheekbones and blue eyes yeah he's also, he's Cyclops in X-Men.
Yep.
He's in the movie and in the show,
it's eight episodes, 25 minutes each.
And he's in it playing like what you think
he would be like in person.
And it's just so hilarious.
Cause he's like such a Hollywood piece of shit.
He's like trying to be too famous to be selected for jury duty.
And it fails.
He like tries to get a role.
He beefs with the director.
And just at one point he's like, fuck.
He's like fucking director.
He's getting canceled on Twitter right now.
And the guy's like, what?
And he's like, yeah, probably called some bitch sweetheart, you know?
And everyone's like awkward.'s like oh you can't
do that anymore yeah and he uh he's just like he's he's really funny there's lots of funny parts of
it but i just thought james marsden like he fucking nails it because he's like yeah you know all right
he sits he sits with the mark at one point at the very first episode of the mark like
someone asks james marsden for a picture also fake just that he's like oh i thought you look familiar you're cyclops from x-men he's like yeah i've been a lot of
movies actually i'm in the notebook he's like you're in the notebook he's like yeah he's like
who are you he's like i'm the other guy he's like ah okay he's like i'm in westworld he's like dad
you're in westworld he's like oh yeah he's in west world yeah and he's like you're uh you know and he's like i'm in sonic
the hedgehog he's like sonic and the mark the guy's like sonic yeah he's giving him his whole
fucking like rap yeah but then the mark guy goes like ah i heard that fucking suck that movie
and he's like sitting there and he's like he's like so what were you and he's like well me and
sonic could go on a road trip he's like oh you're like the main character he's like yeah and he's like sitting there and he's like he's like so what were you and he's like well me and sonic could go on a road trip he's like oh you're like the main character he's like yeah and he's
like oh and you see he really feels like an asshole because he just said that the movie was
shit and the next day he comes and he's like hey man i saw sonic last night it's really good
actually i didn't i didn't know you know what are you doing sonic and he's like me and sonic
the hedgehog going on a fucking adventure because we're boys.
It's a funny show.
I thought it was really funny.
I think you guys enjoyed the hidden camera show.
And they just happened to get a really good guy to fuck with.
Do they put him in ridiculous things in court?
Like, is court kind of silly and he's making faces?
Like, is this real?
He like, like they have one time like where he's sitting there sitting there is like it's all the twelve jurors and the two
alternates and he said there's one guy that like he never talked he never talks
to him and at one point that guy gets up walks by it goes one of the bathroom
room one out and he's like okay it's just weird like something like that the
guy leaves but then later that guy injured, like in a fake thing.
And he has to leave.
And all the jurors are sitting there.
And the main character guy only had that one interaction.
He's like, I'm going to go jerk it off.
And he's like, okay.
And he's sitting there.
And then everyone's like, yeah, Tim just left.
And this guy was like, oh, Tim was great.
He told me about how he used to volunteer a place.
And the other guy was like, I spoke to Tim and we used to laugh so much.
He said, and each juror is like sharing these extensive stories with Tim.
And they're like, yeah, he's really great.
And then the director, the producers like to mark, they're like, the mark, the main dude.
They're like, did you have an interaction with Tim?
He's like, not much. We exchanged a couple of words. And they're like did you have interaction with tim he's like uh not much we
should we should exchange a couple words and they're like oh what did you say he's like
and they showed the clip backwards i'm gonna go rub one out he's like okay and then everyone
in the jury pulls up they're like yeah i had a great interaction with tim he made this for me
and they pull he pulls out like an origami bird and then someone else is like me too and they all
pull out origami birds except for our else is like me too and they all pull
out origami birds except for our main dude and they're like well where's yours he's like i guess
i'm not on the origami but they're the crane crew and everyone has one except so it's stuff like
that's believable there's nothing like someone comes in and they're like i with their dick out
it's like really weird everything's likeline, and they really push it.
That's a fun premise. There was this British show
where they made these people believe
they had won a trip to space.
Like one of those, like Elon Musk style.
And they sent him to fake space
camp.
They're doing zero G training.
And at the end, they do
a full-on bit where these people think they've been
rocketed into fucking space and that they there's a part where a general comes in like no
a scientist with a lab coat actor and he's like we've mastered uh the control of gravity once you
understand it you can control it and he convinces them that they have like fake gravity and they're
that is so funny.
There's a part where they're in space, but they're in a dorm.
One girl is like,
is this fucking for real?
When they first launch,
one guy starts crying.
Oh, we lost him.
That's a shame.
One guy starts crying because he's in space.
He's like, oh, I'm in space.
He's like, yeah, I ain't go to space.
I'm watching Picard.
They totally go to space.
They definitely go to space.
They're almost in space the whole time, I think, pretty much.
Yeah, just about.
I'm loving that show.
I think I'm on episode four or five, something like that.
Are there 10?
I hope there's 10. I hope there's 10.
I believe there's 10.
Picard is living up to the hype.
You said also, I am a stats and stories Yellowstone fan at this point.
I read like Yellowstone news at this point.
People don't know.
Season five of Yellowstone was meant to be broken into sort of a front and back, you know,
like,
like the walking dead used to do.
And the second half of season five is taking so long to even get started.
They haven't started filming that.
It's basically season six.
It's going to be over a year between the first and second half of five.
Oh,
you're right.
And I forgot about that.
Kevin Costner is refusing to film now because he's quitting the show
because he and Taylor Sheridan
are fuming and arguing
and they can't get along
Kevin Costner has been accused
of some sort of on-set sexual assault
which ties in
he's getting divorced now too
which needs a little like credence
to maybe I don't know
how can I know?
prove it to me i
say anyway uh so kevin costner won't film the second half of season five unless he gets to
choose how his character gets dies or gets written off of the show he wants to have some sort of
glorious hero's death and taylor sheridan who doesn't like him presumably hard to maybe the
colon cancer gets him an embarrassing ass bleed out i don't know what taylor sheridan would do
to him maybe his character is just not as good at fucking horse spinny circles as taylor is himself
and uh he dies in a horse race i hope he dies in a failing to spin a horse i don't know but
kevin costner is being a bit of a prima donna.
But I think he has an argument, too, that the show is being run poorly organized.
And they didn't film on time.
And that's why he was unavailable.
He's a big star.
When your big star says, I'm available from July 1st to 30th, you don't get to say, it's August now.
And expect it to work out.
Yeah, I'm not current on the show
uh i kind of like just having it out there let it finish its own thing it's a that's how i'm
gonna have to be with video games i feel like now you've got to just wait until uh they work
all the kinks out yeah they absolutely do um uh even that we haven't been playing as much warhammer
but that that game's got plenty
of bugs in its own right. Every game's just so buggy and shitty. Now.
The way it feels like games get into games like it's one thing people will play like
that's good. He's a buggy piece of shit. And it's like, why? Because you think your shots
didn't hit properly? Like that's hard. And it's minor and it's tough. You guys can't
start a game. That's a big deal that's
different um that that's um that that's a matter of um just it being a smaller game and and we're
playing a very we're playing a certain game mode at a certain time of the day we're playing like
the least popular version of the game and we just keep cutting the player base in halves until there's just not a lot of people but most of the people who play that game your
friends try to play together you can't get the game started it seems it might be oh well that's
simple that's look i don't i had a whole blow up with them because it's annoying but the problem
is if if you don't have the game installed on a fucking um solid state drive we're gonna have
issues and if you have a cheap-ish computer,
we're going to have issues
because it's a AAA title
and it's not optimized well.
And also, if you don't have a good connection,
if you don't live on the same continent,
those are the real issues.
But I think we'd have similar issues
if I tried to play, I don't know,
Age of Empires or StarCraft,
another RTS that, you know,
the bandwidth thing that we had
with the one guy, that was the whole thing.
If you go into a group of people
who play that game, you don't run into those issues.
I'm in a couple of different Discord servers
that are devoted to
that game. You can go in there and play.
When people play, they play amongst Discords
and private groups for the most part
because everybody likes to run
a mod that gives you a ton of extra maps because the most part because everybody likes to run a mod
that gives you a ton of extra maps
because the game only ships with a dozen
and only about half of those are decent.
It still seems that games are finishing more buggy
and less finished than ever before.
Oh, yeah.
That's awesome.
I agree completely.
No, and they're making more money because of it.
With that Darktide game, you know,
it was delay after delay.
And then after release, even though we were missing so much content,
you know, there were stations in the game.
It's like there's a guy there, a vendor that you can't use.
There's a bald guy like standing there polishing some armor.
And it's like, come back when we install this.
And it's like, what the fuck?
You really didn't even get to that?
And then when it did drop some stuff, it was the it was the DLC.
It was all the paste.
It was all the cosmetics.
And that worked flawlessly.
It was polished and well made.
And they made sure to make the credits not round off to round numbers.
So you had to buy, you know, you could buy your credits $10 in like five or $10 increments.
But you're going to need like $22.50. increments, but you're going to need $22.50.
You're always going to have leftover money in their made-up currency bank.
They fixed a lot of that stuff.
They went back and they're like, all right, we'll sell you 100 credits at a time.
They made them do that.
They're like, no, it's still not good enough.
We have to be able to buy 100 credits at a time.
I don't want extra credits.
I want one helmet because all we're doing is buying cosmetics. It's yeah,
it's real frustrating. I've heard that stuff about the Jedi game. The thing about the DLC
working flawlessly back in the day, YouTube used to buffer all the time and it wasn't your fault.
You'd have a good connection and YouTube would buffer and it would suck. Maybe even downgrade the, you know,
from 10 ADP to seven 20 or something like that.
I've never seen an ad buffer in my entire life on YouTube.
The YouTube ad experience is flawless,
but the video porn ads,
that's the,
that's the real,
that's the real thing.
You'll be on a,
a,
a porn streaming site and all their porn is like
they claim it's 360p woody that's 40 240 tops 240 tops i can't tell what hole that is sometimes
no i have no idea what's going on but the ad before it it's like oh my god is that 100 frames
per second like it's this crisp 4k
high frame rate like like streamer girl like with her titties out like why don't you come
stop jerking off come and see me tonight and it's like fuck just hurry up so i can jerk off
i wonder how much of that footage is like legally acquired right because it's all of it i may be but i i swear i've seen porn where
it's like this video was uploaded to x videos oh but i'm on porn hub did porn hub like they're
probably the same owner maybe but like i swear i see like downloads from one site uploaded on the
next site and their watermarks are still there sometimes maybe so i think so they've really cut down on that a ton because i think a lot of the major porn sites had cp issues and so now
almost all of the amateur porn um you watch is certified paid not paid members but members who
have shown id essentially and verified verified uh users they still claim they're still amateur porn stars
because it's just like bill and i don't know i can't think of a lady's name i'm sorry i'm high
yeah and uh just carol and eric
um it's just two it's just a couple but i don't know it takes all the fun out of it honestly i
feel like if if they've all like shown their id and like they're they're they're like this is taxable income now it's like it's their side
hustle or whatever yeah yeah i'm watching people at work whereas it felt like uh amateur porn used
to be like oh this is just like some couple's dirty videos that they wanted us to see that's
kind of cool um so i feel like that takes a lot out of it but all the same that seems to be the case i know uh the issue with porn hub recently it's pretty hilarious utah has that
law i believe where you have to about this you have to like age verify every time you log in
to a porn site there i think they made that a law or something in utah and so porn hub was like you
know what that doesn't seem like something that we want to be a part of. No Pornhub for Utah.
And say like
VPN searches in Utah skyrocketing.
Yeah.
They're attacking their freedom of speech.
I hate it. Not I hate it.
I think it's hilarious when every so often
someone goes against porn
and they find out that's a wildly unpopular
position.
A politician will be like you know what we should
take down porn sites why do they even marjorie taylor green said that recently she wants to
take down really i don't even understand why it exists that's the quote that's the quote it's
like well it's because people jack off to it dumb ass like yeah i'll send her a video the only jack
ass is here and here's you sir you that's what she'd say that's when i start
masturbating in protest oh my goodness right there like uh like an american hero
that's a that's a hell of a politician how does she still in there like when does her
term come up when can they get every two. She's won twice or three times already.
And it's not close.
She's not a year ago.
She's like Lauren Bobert, for example, won by the skin of her teeth.
Colorado.
The Florida guy, Matt Gates, he won easily.
And Marjorie Taylor Greene wins easily.
Lauren Bobert is much more attractive than uh
yeah i agree right there with the hottest name is magic politics like yeah she's got a lot of
the alarm going on aoc's hot even though taylor doesn't like her eyeballs she's i love them i
want to look like a lizard her eyes don't always look like that it's just sometimes she when she
gets mad she goes wide-eyed yeah too much uh but aoc is good looking if you can't see that
then you're being biased um lauren bovert's good looking the list is short the thing with
gathering is like yeah tulsa gabbard's good looking out of politics but like a lot like
mtg is not attractive i don't think but because of the class of like people like when you're hanging out with
who's the uh who's the gay guy in south carolina lindsey graham like when you're hanging around
like those guys you look like you do you know how how much i would love to be photographed next to
lindsey graham oh oh that's a good look i'd put that i'd blow that photo up and make me look so masculine. Chris Christie and Lindsey Graham.
We're going on a tour together.
Yep.
And the wheelchair guy.
All of them.
The wheelchair guy.
He's out of politics too.
Well, then not him. I'm only taking winners.
I want the eyepatch guy with me too.
No, you know who I want?
I want Diane Feinstein exhumed
i think she's going to work again now dude have you seen that yeah man it's great she's like
a hundred years old goodbye oh hello my phone died there and i mean is that what happened
yeah i'm charging it right now i have enough power just to say i love you guys and thanks
for having me.
Love you too, man. Always a pleasure.
You love me, but I'm just using you for sex.
I hope that doesn't hurt you.
It's totally fine.
I love you truly. Take care.
Okay, goodnight guys. Bye.
Later, Harley.
Harley's the best. I love that dude.
Yes.
I have never met him in person. He seems like such a fun guy to hang out with. He's the best. I love that dude. Yes. I have never met him
in person. He seems like such
a fun guy to hang out with. He's very tall.
He's very tall.
But he's an ally of mine.
He has stilts.
I watched this video and it's
shot from an old school camera
but it's GoPro style.
And it's these
skydivers. And's like a one of those
like 1990s tv um voiceovers is like jason was jumping that day with two new students and an
instructor i know he felt and he's filming the other people as they spin do stuff as instructor
and student is it was at this point when Jason realized he himself
did not have a parachute.
And he was far
too far away from anyone to
rescue him. And so you just watch him
flail a little bit for a while
and then they cut it off before he hits the ground.
Yeah. He just forgot?
He just forgot.
How comfortable do you have to be jumping out of a plane
to neglect your entire parachute i don't get it all right checklist parachute
because no no so i would argue that maybe motoring and skydiving and like a similar
kind of risk profile right and uh i've done both that's what i took away from i agree dude you check your buckles your
clips you do it the same way every single time you like if there's any deviations i'll like
fucking to start from the scratch you know if i go like i buckle up in like a from bottom up
you know it's like leg straps the the chin the waist strap the chest strap and then your helmet
strap and uh if something happens along the way that like distracts me or whatever,
I don't pick up from where I left off.
I do the thing from the start.
How this guy just kind of like, oh, totally forgot the chute.
Like, were you not checking every buckle like four times before the jump?
It's the most important thing of skydiving.
It's the only thing that makes it not suicide.
Like, it's the parachute.
I can't argue.
Like, that bombing run.
What a horrible minute.
Oh, it was so long.
It's longer than that event.
He was up there when he realized, you know,
but everybody else is above him.
He went through all five stages.
By the time he was like
hitting the ground he's welcoming him like i'd be aiming for a soft spot
yeah that i that was a really scary video to watch because the narrator kind of late
he doesn't immediately tell you what the problem is he's like today would be dave's last day because
he didn't know he didn't have a parachute watch Watch him jump now. He's like, Dave was recording his friends with a 16mm Kodak color camera.
Rare at the time.
It's like, I was interested in the camera.
And then all of a sudden, he's like, by the way, this guy doesn't have a parachute.
Oh, that should be, he buried the lead here.
This should be about a guy falling to his death.
Well, that sounds like an awful video.
I don't want to watch that. Yeah, you well that sounds like an awful video i don't want
to watch that yeah you don't see that yeah you don't see that yeah that well if he was the
instructor i guess no one needed to get fired it kind of solved itself yeah yeah takes care of
itself he probably he won't be doing that again i have never i never in my whole hockey, like, career accidentally went on the ice without a cup.
Do you know what happened?
Like, the one time I, like, put all my stuff on
and realized I didn't have a cup on, I just went, oh!
And then I had to take, and when you play goalie, Kyle,
you can't put your cup on after you have all your pads on,
and so you have to be like, everybody give me just fucking 20 minutes
to take all my pads off and put them have to be like everybody give me just fucking 20 minutes to take all my
pants off and put them all back on particularly i've played without a cup before it it made me
play worse right in the same way like i wore cage and whenever i played without a cage i was like
real defensive about my face i all everything seems like it's about to hit you every stick
is right by your face two-thirds of my energy is on not getting a fucking scar across my cheek when i play without
a cup same thing yeah you oh it's if you're like you're naked out there i remember i was playing
we were probably 12 on this hockey team and the coach's kid was like a forward and he lost equipment all the time and his dad was always like
if you lose another fucking stick or cup or glove i swear to god like he was getting mad about it
wooden sticks or carbon fiber uh they were this was back when like there was that one there were
the two-piece sticks where you would melt the hot uh the hot glue and plug it in like if you wanted a different blade and he lost his cup and he was so terrified to tell his dad that he had lost his
cup that he played multiple games with a hockey sock rolled up into a ball and then he taped it
like kind of around his genital area until his dad like saw him after a game was like why are you
why you have a sock tape to your dick and he's like i lost my cup and so that so the next game
he was like dad i still don't have a cup and so he went to the hockey store like the the little
club store that's there to buy the equipment in the cup and he comes back like five minutes later
like throws it at his son's like there you go and he like starts taking it out and putting it together and he's like
like dad dad this isn't a cup he's like yes it is i just went in there and bought it he's like
dad you got me a fucking pussy protector this is a pussy protector he was like i don't even think
they make those and he's like yes they do because this is like i guess a clamshell or
whatever you would call it nice i didn't know they existed i always wondered what girls do
i guess do they need like i don't need a bicep protector i don't need a does your bicep have a
vulva yeah if your puck hits you i don't like to talk about it any part of your body that's
vulnerable if a puck hits it can you like
like anything you get hit with a puck is gonna hurt like a but it's cold it's still just i guess
i would want a mouth protector yeah oh dude there was a guy in the nhl just the other into a mouth
guard are you talking about it's the only lips I can think of
that I do have?
I was trying to compare.
How much would it hurt to get hit in the pussy
with a hockey puck?
I think if your lips were to get pinched
between
each other, I think the folds of skin
might be a big part of it.
The problem with my lips is that
they get smashed into my teeth.
If my lips were
say in the middle of my belly, they could
take a hit. I mean your pussy lips.
What are your hypothetical
pussy lips? I'm taking a slap shot.
Oh, okay. I was just making sure
we're all still on the same page. I don't have
pussy lips, so I'm just going with the lips I do
have. No. The real
problem is that they're backed by the
teeth making them vulnerable to cutting and cut you know like getting busted up okay no it would
but even if you had gums you wouldn't want to get you know slapped around on the lips
no like you when guys get hit with like the puck in the mouth what is the question here
if vaginas are sensitive i don't even know what we're talking about. I don't know. We were talking about the pussy protector
thing, and they're definitely necessary.
What's the least sensitive
part of your body?
The least sensitive. The part that if you're gonna
bang, you wanna bang that. Man, I feel like it's my
forearm. Forearm.
If you take a hockey puck from a slap shot
in the forearm, you're gonna
have a bit
where you're like, oh my god, my arm's broken. Ass cheeks are not you're sensitive that's what they say you're gonna have a bit where you're like oh my god my arms broken
cheeks are not that sensitive that's why they
spank there as a matter of fact while spanking
and I'm not telling this to Kyle
I'm telling this to you guys who might not know
as much as Kyle try to
hit the part that they sit on
if you're spanking
and you're hitting her thigh or her
back that's not spanking
and she won't like it, probably.
Actually, the spot right below the ass cheek
is what we like to call the seat spot.
That's actually where you do want to hit
to deliver pain.
That's a very sensitive area.
With a cane.
With a cane.
Or a flog.
A flog, a cane, a crop.
Crop's a little bitch made.
One of those violet bulbs.
You ever seen one of those?
That you electrocute people with?
It's like a little science experiment.
Where's this?
Is it below the crease on the butt cheek?
Yeah, top of the thigh.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we're actually in alignment there.
Yeah, uppermost part of the thigh. That's a really sensitive area you don't get hit there and fucking hurt um but no i've
seen i've never used one but i've seen those i think they're called violet something and it's
like this thing to zap people with and bdsm bdsm and i think it gives off little purple bolts of
electricity you plug this it's either batteries you plug you plug it in. It's pretty wild. How strong is it?
I don't fucking know. That's not my bag.
I don't like shocking bitches and I don't want nobody shocking me
so I don't have one.
It does seem like a negative.
It's like, oh, fuck you,
but I'm really into shocks.
Fucking how into shocks?
I'm into shock play. Yeah. It just turns me on so much when your heart
stops ever so briefly uh it's not like that it's like a little like i like i've seen videos where
they break that thing out and it's like pops it's like it's like little slaps of electricity
looks like i saw a guy get fucked up by a stun gun in the back cleaning bay of an enterprise rent-a-car because one of the car guys said to the car prep, like, I bet you can't get shocked by this.
I bet you'll fall down.
And he was like, no.
And then he shocked.
He thought he could take it.
Someone left a stun gun in a car.
And so we took it.
And then my coworker, I was very new at the time.
This was like my fucking first week or something.
And he walked over there, and he's like, hey, I'm going to shock Zach.
And I'm like, I barely know Zach.
And so he walked back there and was like, Zach,
you think you could get shocked by this and not fall over?
And he couldn't.
He did fall over.
Was it, he just like stuck it to his body?
Not a taste.
Yeah, just he basically like had him stand there and
then he went to his belly and yikes um the i've me and woody have played around with one of those
before but it was a very cheap one it was a very cheap one we had i know there are better ones
my thoughts on those is it'd be those don't drop people i think that's like a bullshit movie thing
i i mean i bet it hurts a lot he dropped out of surprise he wasn't exactly incapacitated he basically movies they basically jumped back and like did that thing
like if you were jumping back like to do a whatever that thing is off a diving board where
you jump backwards and then you dive he did almost that and kind of like face planted a bit but it
was not like oh my god are you okay it just shocking. The surprises can make you react.
Kyle shocked me and I was like,
and then I shocked Kyle and he was like,
so I was like, oh, I guess I should do that
when he shocked me.
So then I became immune to it.
Yeah, we've been playing with that thing
for a month before you got there.
I've been doing car rides
where we were just sticking it to
the back of each other's neck while we're driving like like so we had calluses by then i picked that
up in like an army navy store but like i think the big boy ones are maybe like the end of a taser
like a police taser i think it's x26 yeah the end of that is a stun gun um as you know in addition
to it it's taser abilities and I've never been hit by one
of those but it looks like it would hurt you in a significant kind of way where you'd want to jump
and get away with it but I don't think I think as far as incapacitation the way I've seen it used
is when someone won't give a limb they'll target the muscle that controls that limb with that
rapid fire stun gun.
And so whatever muscle is being used to resist,
they'll target it.
And it's like you lose control of it enough that they're able to really manipulate you.
I've seen that done a lot.
And then I've also seen it done,
you know,
torture people,
unfortunately.
And there's been plenty of people that died from them.
And then there was that one guy that got set on fire by it.
That shit was wild.
Jesus.
I can't remember what the, what was on him that made him so flammable,
but he was.
Could have been.
Anyway, they hit him with that stun gun, and he lit up.
What are you going to do?
You can't put him out.
It was a roll.
He just burned alive.
I have not seen that clip.
Was it like a fun lead up?
I really don't recall.
It's a PKA topic that I never used.
Yeah.
It's pretty terrible.
I've fucked around with the police one before, obviously.
I've talked about it before.
We got Jeremy with it and did the whole thing.
But I've never been hit by one of those.
I've always been rather afraid of them.
Yeah, they don't seem fun.
It seems painful.
That's what they're made.
They sound scary when you hold them down.
When you're in person, it's a much more scary noise.
It's a loud, crackly pop.
And the louder it is, I think the stronger it is.
That's what I'm going on,
because I know that thing we stuck to Jeremy's ass was loud.
Yeah.
And he did not like it.
It seems like you guys did it for a while.
He hated it. That's one of my favorite moments that involved my dad
and making videos, though. There was the one time
when I did the pepper spray thing
and the video that's on YouTube
is me going, ugh!
And the video cuts and 30 minutes
go by and me pouring milk in my eyes.
But in the real world, my dad
walks over and he's like hey there
friends fps his dad here he's a little incapacitated so i thought i'd show y'all how this and he like
goes through and like shoots all the targets or whatever with that sub 2000 um but uh i don't i
wish i had that footage or knew where it was it was hilarious it's hilarious ah that'd be cool
yeah people would love to see it yeah but that uh but
i found pepper spray to be way better as like a defense tool or whatever than than fucking a stun
gun or a taser ever you've got one shot with that taser you better be annie oakley if you randomly
uploaded that to the fps russia channel you know 10 years later it would'd get $15,000 out of ad revenue. If only I had
the password, Woody.
I know.
Marty, we're fucked.
He had sanitizer
on him? Maybe I was wrong about
the gallon.
How would he have that much on him?
Shit, he has
a gallon jug of it in this picture.
I'm not sure this is the same incident
i'm talking about oh is this done on purpose he burned he thought he could put himself out
and he couldn't i he there's pictures where he takes the gallon jug puts it over his head
and he's just like draining the hand sanitizer on himself that sounds like a fucking tiktok
challenge or something he was doing the old...
Oh, he's in the police station.
They're trying to detain him or something.
He's not being cooperative is what I think I saw.
I just looked at stills real quick.
He just grabbed it off the counter, the community
hand sanitizer, unplugged it, and dumped it on himself?
He lit himself on purpose, and it was suicide
by cop, Zach says.
Jesus Christ.
You see those...
Is it like Indiaia or china or
wherever where they do like the suicide by immolation where they sit there in style and
like burn themselves alive it's monks yeah monks do that why do they do that like that i don't know
protest it's protest does it is it effective have or people Are politicians like, okay, let me take a step back. If I'm a politician,
right, and I'm doing something unpopular, trying to ban porn or something, and this guy, suicide by
emulation, I'm like, that's one less guy that disagrees with my policy. Quite frankly, you're
solving my problem. If the rest of you would do this, I would have no problem at all. So I don't know a bunch about this, but I think one of the instances was
maybe Buddhist monks protesting against the way China was treating
them. And I think they were burning themselves to get
Western attention so that Western citizens will put pressure on
Western politicians who will then put pressure on Chinese politicians
because they were getting ignored western politicians who will then put pressure on um chinese politicians because the op you know
the they were getting ignored ignored already and i'm and i'm sure they're ignoring them burning
themselves because why wouldn't you one less i don't know we know about it i guess it feels like
it did a little bit i'm sure someone said something to china about you know them being awful have you
been following the ukraine war oh of course every day it. You know, it's it's I saw.
All right.
So Taylor was at the end of the show.
Yeah.
Taylor's mad because because they didn't let that guy surrender that time.
I found I saw one where they let him surrender.
You know, they they they used the drone to lead him back to surrender land and took him prisoner.
That was pretty.
They dropped them instructions on how to surrender something with the drone over.
Oh, I wonder how detailed they are you know uh not very i can't read cyrillic is that what it is i'm not
sure um but there weren't a lot of words it was like great big scribble you can almost read it
from a distance it's not like the the vegas guy stand up touch your toes jump up and down what you're gonna say i surrender
hands up crawl hands up crawl crawl with your hands up and i'm like what
i didn't say simon says
dead that guy yeah it's uh i uh i think that trump was uh is gonna be a big part of how things are
handled there because i there is a ticking time clock.
If Trump is elected, who knows what
he'll do there?
I'm convinced
Trump has no shot, but who knows?
I don't think he does either.
He's leading Biden right
now, right?
I saw that.
I think, though, the more airtime
Trump gets, the worse he does.
The plan for now is that
Trump will shoot himself in the foot for Joe to come back.
I don't know. The airtime thing seems like, based on what you guys said about the last night
thing, that it went good. Based on what Trump said. Trump said he was up in the polls
the very next day, which is bullshit. Polls take a week.
No, I was like his CNN thing.
You said that went well for him?
We'll see.
The crowd was stacked
with people that loved him, so it looked like it went
well. But online, everyone is like,
this is fucking ridiculous. He's telling lies.
They're all outraged. So you
really need a better basis than that.
Reddit seems really left they said
that he's an idiot he's just lying yeah reddit the crowd was really right and they seem like trump was
amazing like he's got his magic back etc so i just can't know you know i i don't want to do it during
the show but i'll show you like a two-minute montage with the air horns and stuff it's a
body mate i don't know i think it comes off. Like I don't think that the left has more clips to show to attack Trump than
the opposite is true.
I think the Trump side side got a bunch of gotchas and a bunch of funny punch
lines.
And if you ask me,
at least from where I sit,
the reason he won last time was the meme war.
I think he won the meme war he took over the internet read
it in particular this is 2016 yeah when he won i think the meme war was the the the the main battle
of the winning the presidency i truly believe that and he is uh my thoughts going into this
time was man he better not be talking about fucking the last election being
stolen we need means we need we need bits we need him to like be silly and come up with nicknames
for people and i don't know he had like two minutes of of gotcha shit and like an hour of
of content on there and i think it's enough i think if he just keeps going on there and being
funny like that there was some i don't even know what they were talking about but she was like
you said before that it's inappropriate to use the debt ceiling as a wedge, as a negotiating
tool. And he's like, that's right. I was president. Well, why don't you think it's,
why do you think it's okay now? Because I'm not president now. And it was just like,
so matter of fact about there's president Trump and there's businessman Trump. And obviously we
don't do things. Oh, maybe you didn't see it that way, but he's just being matter of fact about being dishonest if you want to see it that way but he just he just
basically said hey that's president trump this is businessman trump that's how i read it so it's to
trump's benefit for the world to blow up and the economy to crash because the debt ceiling isn't
raised and america doesn't pay his bills so So candidate Trump is like, I think we should not raise
the debt ceiling and just fuck up the planet.
But President Trump,
back when it would make him look bad, was like,
raise the debt ceiling, obviously. It's the right
thing to do. Otherwise, the world catches
on fire, I'm told.
So here he is running and he's like,
yeah, set the world on fire. I don't give a fuck. I just want to be president.
Now, I saw that and I was
like, oh my God. He's like telling us he's's a liar he's telling us he's a hypocrite politician he's
admitting he's admitting to what a what every politician does but he's the only one liar that
he is to be honest about it and say it to america's face on cnn in front of everyone for what it's
worth only republic Republicans do that.
The Democrats raised the debt ceiling without a fuss for Trump like five times.
They didn't make a big deal out of it.
It's the Republicans who are like, you know what?
Let's fuck people over because we've got this leverage.
I don't care about the policy and who did what and voting records.
Nobody cares about that.
Again, it goes back to the fucking sound bites, I think.
It's the meme war.
It's when you put Trump on an eagle in a tank, it's again, it goes back to the fucking soundbites. I think it's the main war. It's that he looks,
it's when you put Trump on an Eagle in a tank,
it gets clicks.
You can do that to their candidates.
They don't care.
Cause they don't,
they don't,
they don't have a political cult.
We agree about that.
I think though that when it goes to the,
of course,
there's going to be people who would vote for Biden,
no matter what.
And there's going to be people who will vote for Trump or anyone read,
no matter what.
But the middle is going to look at this guy who's
convicted sexual assault, $5 million. They're going to go to the
appeals court. It's going to stay in the news. It's going to hurt him a lot.
I think what they'll say, at least it's not kids like Joe. At least he's not sniffing
around little girls. Well, except for that one time. Those little girls were asking
for it, Kyle. Well, I mean, Joe says that. Of course, he can't hear very well these days.
Yeah, we'll see. We'll see. I think
that when you get to the independent... You got a turd sandwich and a douche here.
Look, and no woman is going to vote for a rapist.
He is going to get smashed amongst women. Well, that's good because he wasn't found
liable of rape. Well, that's good because he wasn't found liable of rape.
Well, that's because she couldn't feel his tiny little penis and she wasn't sure it was inside.
That's a good line for her to use, isn't it?
Hmm.
Except strictly he wasn't because it was a civil thing, right?
He finger banged her, but she wasn't sure if his little penis was inside or not.
His little mushroom.
You think so? Interesting. I do. I think she said something that i made it worse you think trump has something like that
micro penis micro penis is a stretch but she did say she wasn't sure his penis was inside her
and that's why she didn't get the rape thing i think interesting you know when when they say
things like this about biden i'm like come on on, that's obvious. I bet Biden has a man-sized penis. I'm not saying.
Like, you'd never convince me that Biden had a micro-digma
because some lady who hates him said it. Yeah, exactly.
She had 11 witnesses. Now they weren't there, but this is like
the people that, no. She had 11 people she called to the
stand that all said, yeah, she's told me about it. She talked about it
over the years. This is like a known thing. Everyone in her
circle knows this has happened. And then
there's Trump who didn't even show.
That's why he lost. It's not
even a he said, she said. It's 11 people
said and Trump remained silent.
And so he's going to what? Fight it somewhere else?
He's going to appeal it. Well, to be fair, 11 people
said that she told them this. I'm
one of those people now Because I listened
Now when I
All they have is the benefit of time
We'll see
Trump is like, I've never met this woman
They're photographed together
Of course he met her
He's not what he says
Yeah, he's lying, Woody
I know
That's what you do
He lost in court He was found simply liable woody come on
don't no not according to woody five million dollars convicted rapist again that's not what
no no you say tomato i say tomato i'm gonna keep saying it i'm liable for that he is litigious man
he he is litigious he loves he loves lawyers now i just excuse us that'd be so
so low ball i don't care how big trump's dick is but i think whenever they start lowering them
when they're like oh look at his little you don't remember the cnn clips of like
bringing people on to be like tonight we're going to talk about trump's penis shape because we're
the news like i don't remember that.
You don't remember that?
They literally had Stormy Daniels on.
That's hilarious.
You would love it if it was on the blue guy.
You're being biased now.
You guys are like, I just want somebody funny.
And they're on CNN talking about this guy's tiny dick and his tiny hands.
And now we've got multiple women saying his tiny dick.
You would be running with this thinking it's the greatest thing.
Instead, you're like, ah, they're kind of like not giving respect to the office.
Because I know what they do.
And I see that it's orchestrated.
You can see strings being pulled in multiple media outlets like parroting things.
Thank you.
Yes.
I admit my bias when I have a hard time seeing through it.
You guys are like, I just want a funny person to get elected because Trump is hilarious.
But when they talk about his tiny dick, it's not funny.
I don't think
tiny dicks can be
funny. It can absolutely be funny.
But I just think...
You're like, that lady said he had a little
dick, Kyle. Can you believe it? I'm like, yeah.
She seems like she really despises him.
But you know he doesn't
have small hands. He does have small hands. But you know he doesn't have small hands.
He does have small hands.
Okay, well,
I'm glad you're taking the high road
on this one. No, I am not.
I can't stand for it.
He triggers you so hard.
You cannot
help yourself. But you can't see it either.
You will defend almost anything he
does. You'll say his tiny dick isn't funny, it totally is we make fun of trump we make fun of
trump fucking constantly we mock him we make fun of him i'd say we make fun of trump a lot more
than you make fun of the blue team if we're if we're doing a little that's fair i i like
i'll laugh at biden when he gets it wrong Yeah I agree
Biden does have less to joke about
Than Trump does
And not because he's bad
I've seen Hunter's penis
So I know how big it is
No of course not I'm making a point
That we don't talk about penises
Because we don't care
We have pictures of your guys dick We don't care We don't care. We have pictures of your guy's dick.
We don't care.
We don't care if it's big or small or cut
or not. I hope it is big. Good for him.
Well, let's do that.
I didn't sit there
and defend Hunter's dick. I asked about it.
I was rolling with it. What I'm saying
is, like,
I think especially, like, I don't care how big
Trump's dick is, but i bet it's a normal like
human-sized penis if i had no i care deeply odds are it's average sure like i think that
um i think that that's her way of not perjuring herself um when she says that and at the same
time taking a swipe because the maybe I don't understand sex. Maybe
I've never done it, but I think we all
know when it's in like
like we all know when it's in, right?
Like, yeah, you can
tell I can tell
well, it hurts. First of all,
there's a lot of there's a burning feeling
and it all circles
back. Yeah, I wake up right away i come to
um you know like i think i think she probably i believe that that lady was sexually assaulted
by trump i i think he's a bad guy um but i don't think he raped her i don't think he stuck his dick
in her he might have tried to but i don't think he failed her. I don't think he stuck his dick in her. He might have tried to but I don't think he failed because of
tiny penis. Do you see how close to the
edge I'm willing to walk with you?
I think that the idea of her saying
it's a tiny penis is a silly jab
and not funny. I'll admit to you
he sexually assaulted her.
I bet he did it a lot.
I bet he sexually assaulted dozens
of women. It's going to hurt him in the election.
Women's?
Women's up and down the coast.
You're talking about him like money's... He was reported to a couple of his chiefs of staff,
but I'm trying to remember which one,
repeatedly for sexual harassment while he was president.
Interesting.
I buy that.
Maybe he sexually president. Interesting. I buy that. Doing that, I guess maybe, maybe there was a,
you know,
um,
you know,
he sexually harassed them.
I don't know.
I don't know,
but I believe this kind of stuff will kill him in the general and he'll have
voters who just toss all of it aside and say,
I like him no matter what.
Yeah.
He's got that.
He's got that charm,
but,
uh,
he's not going to win in the general. i think it's impossible to know right now i think that if i i think i would
lean a little bit more toward the left toward biden like maybe 55 45 uh if i had to do it all
over today but man you know how the political landscape changes in in three to six months
a year from now which is what we're talking about, right?
Roughly.
I'm not even sure they'll both be alive.
There you go.
I don't know.
They're both already over.
I don't know how with it Biden is still going to be.
And I don't mean that I'm not even poking fun at the crazy old man stuff.
It's like every day when you're in your 70s matters, you're always creeping toward possible dementia or some sort of aphasia or whatever the
fuck so who knows um that and also who knows where the political landscape is what if gasoline is
eight dollars a gallon going into like like this time next year like heading into like the summer
vacation months it's it's 599 and they're like it's gonna hit ten dollars it's gonna hit ten
dollars in july and trump's over there like drill drill drill baby and uh biden's
over there talking about owls that we don't even know what they look like you know that's a good
one um there's a lot of time another one oh banks failing the like i feel like the banks failing
hasn't gotten the press that i would have expected it to i I mean, we're adjacent to 2008. And I don't know, a few more drop and we got a really big thing going on.
Here's one.
What if Biden wheels Fauci out around September, October, and it's time to go back inside?
Mask up.
Imagine that.
Time to go back inside.
I think he's more politically clever than that.
And Trump's smart enough to be out there.
I have the vax.
You don't have to get the vax to be an American, though,
and to live.
And he starts quoting the Declaration of Independence
or some shit, the Constitution.
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That's what I read here.
I don't see anything but a mask.
And he's flipping through that shit.
If Biden dies, I don't even know who the Democrats run.
You'd think Kamala would.
Oh, I'd love that.
Run, Hunter.
Hunter. I don't know hunter might get the molotov cocktail boat right like there are a handful of people who just want to blow up washington hunter they would file those criminal
charges on him and then he couldn't get in because he'd be a fellow because they could file charges
they wanted to that's kind of scary that's the problem with fucking with Trump in the courts now.
You've let him get in there,
and his Justice Department wants to file charges on Hunter Biden,
and now it becomes, I don't know much about legalese,
but now that his laptop is now subject to a criminal matter,
I bet that opens up other avenues,
and now you can subpoena lots of other people,
and now those people havepoena lots of other people and then now those people
have to come in under oath and they can be questioned about all sorts of tangential uh
issues so yeah we're talking about the laptop today but also sir do you know ambassador grevich
he's like uh nah i don't know uh alexi nah i don't know him like well let's bring up exhibit a like things
can get nasty you they don't want that that's why they should be leaving them alone they should
leave them alone you shouldn't prosecute presidents because we we change every four fucking years we
change every four fucking years it's not like we got a monarchy here and you can just shit on
somebody and lop heads off usually the idea still stands they uh yeah we'll see if trump
gets if trump does win i bet he he's kind of known for his retaliation petty petty petty small
small small-minded and petty the whole presidency is about that that dinner with obama i choose to
believe that that was right publicly humiliate me all right now now you full effort trump like i was just gonna eat kfc and be a
eat kfc to death in my gold bathroom but instead now i'm gonna become president i don't know don't
motivate your enemies that's what you could learn about trump like piece of shit that he is
you don't want him to be your enemy motivated,
right?
Doesn't go well.
Yeah.
I don't know who's going to win.
I,
like I said,
I would,
I would,
I would go with Biden right now,
but a lot can change in a year and Trump's in the lead right now.
Trump has to go down and Biden has to go up for,
for,
for this all to come to fruition.
So we'll see.
We'll see.
Last time Biden won by sitting in a basement on zoom calls,
raising money and Trump going out there and
embarrassing himself it felt like that replays do you i remember as we were getting toward election
day last time it really felt like everything fizzled out it was almost like biden and i'm
not saying this happened but it felt like all of the media was like let's not let's just not talk
about the election at all let's just let it happen let's not talk about the election at all. Let's just let it happen. Let's not let anybody be passionate about
this. It just felt like
there was no real coverage. Maybe I was busy at the time
with a lot of stuff and I didn't
notice it, but it felt like the coverage was way down.
It wasn't this big crazy thing like
the previous cycle had been when Trump
did win and beat Hillary. It just seemed like
nobody cared that much. Trump
wasn't out there waving the flag as much
as it seemed like he should. Like you said biden just bunkered up and won yeah we'll see we'll see i uh i don't
know how it's gonna be fun to watch biden again he's so fucking old he's killed it at the white
house correspondence dinner and my question is how often question is, how often can you deliver that version
of Biden? How many fucking
uppers do they have?
All of them?
They're not good for your heart, though.
It's much straight on your heart.
I've thought about the uppers. I hope
they're not. They're legitimately
very bad for your heart.
With Trump, it's not a...
They have the pictures of them in the drawer.
Yeah, those are weak amphetamines or whatever those cold medicine shit things like it's not good for him it can't be but especially as overweight as he is but but uh yeah they might
not they may not survive into this thing who's not as fat as he was but he's fat because you
know it won't be pence he'll have somebody else i bet he picks a lady oh god please not Marjorie Taylor
Green that would be so awful
he's gonna pick like a neocon
like establishment person
to try and win over like Nikki Haley
to try and win over those people I'd love Nikki Haley
why
I don't know I think she looks good
in pants
I think that's a great way to
have a take it's just about female politicians not give a fuck at all about what the vice president is.
AOC, huge fan.
No idea what she's all about.
My favorite big booty Latina.
Yeah.
For those tits.
Like MTG was like one of the leading candidates to be his vice president until recently.
And I forget what happened. But he wanted her he's being advised against it as it was the news on the
internet idiot she did or said something that ruined it i forget what it was oh you've been
following the bud light shit or the budweiser shit i guess we should say i think so yeah
apparently it actually has like had a tremendous effect and they're just not selling a lot of it
although i heard 17 which matters yeah diminishing that effect. I heard 17%, which matters.
Yeah, diminishing that effect forces the people who don't know how many beers Anheuser-Busch owns.
Yeah, they own a whole lot.
Their sales are struggling from it now.
But, I mean, it's the largest brewery on the planet.
And so it's like, yeah, their American market share is taking a hit right now but like globally
they're fine like they're the biggest premier brand their own yeah bud light and budweiser
are their premier brands but it's also like imagine a really bad marketing call for coca-cola
and if and it runs in the united states okay now that doesn't impact coke sales in japan
zimbabwe everywhere else
similar with this like the kardashians they might have i'm not familiar with that oh yeah pepsi or
when they had that lottery and those people died the pepsi one wasn't like nearly as unpopular as
this budweiser but uh dude like being in st louis like we are we are budweiser's home court. Like nobody has market share here like Bud.
And like in gas stations and stores, like Bud Light is marked down significantly.
I noticed like this was maybe a month or so ago that I was having some buddies over.
So I was going to pick up some beer.
And I usually like Bud Select, Bud Light, just like basic shit like that i i enjoy it's fine
and i went there and apparent like i kind of took this as an indicator of how bad their sales were
before the data came out or how bad other competitors took it to be because yingling
which is a florida brewery which is you know it's a better quality than a budweiser they were
selling yingling light next to the Bud Light undercutting it.
And so other brands were taking a little loss off the top to insert in areas where Bud has
heavy market share to try and get some. And so literally, I went to go get... I don't give a
fuck. I was going to grab Bud Light. It's fine. And right next to the Bud Light is Yingling Light
for a dollar less. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to say 15 calories of beer and a dollar.
Give me the fucking Yingling.
And guess what I found out?
Yingling Light is genuinely way better than Bud Light.
But as soon as they move that price up, back to Bud Light.
I think that you're an example of a person with a fully functional brain.
you're an example of a person with a fully functional brain,
but I bet you went to school with some bros who call Bud Light the gay beer now,
and that will be in their consciousness forever.
Ten years from now, Budweiser is still going to be the gay beer.
So do you know what year to get pierced, Woody?
Because it was made abundantly clear to me in elementary school which one was gay and which one wasn't.
We took it to heart.
Here's the thing. I don't know how long...
I expected it not to be long-lasting because
Nike did... I guess the Colin
Kaepernick thing with Nike. That's totally
in the rearview mirror. No one gives a fuck about that.
That's racism. I remember
they were throwing Keurigs
off their balconies and shit.
I don't remember what they did wrong but
the right hated them that's totally in the room that's convenient coffee we're under the bridge
um i had another one i forgot i can't even remember all the like they never came back
they had to change their fucking name it's counter they're just the chicks but it seems like the
right cancels a brand every four or six months yeah and then it gets uncanceled it's
fucking embarrassing how they'll be like actually bud light's gay so buy my 65 12 pack of patriot
winter brew and it's like good god you're just a a grifter embarrassing loser like yeah i it will hit like a difference between the nike thing and
the bud light thing is their core market um a bud light an average bud light drinker is like
not a lib for the color like blue blue collar more conservative right wing leading um yeah
it was a terrible marketing decision you know i don't know
why on earth they would do that so i'll tell you but unfortunately there's a new president they
have a lady for the first time ever and she wanted the brand to be quote unquote more inclusive
so she's their flagship brand you know something i i was insulting i phrased it so stupid i'm so
sorry it sounds like you know something i didn't know i learned that from you all right yeah they
did they did bring in like a new like advertising lady hyper progressive very common for uh progressives
and advertising to like shoehorn shit in and that is very jarring to a lot of people and but what
you're saying woody i don't think that this will have like it will fade into the rear view and the
people who have already made their purchasing
decision now to pivot i don't think they're likely to come back because they're like rah rah about it
but everyone else will forget everyone else will be like one summer from now oh bud light just
basic fucking beer like like all of these boycotts it's not going to amount to much more after a
couple years they own fucking 500
banners of beer. They're the biggest brewery on Earth.
Yeah, the problem is that I don't feel
like they can't back off. They almost
have to double down. They almost
have to go even. They should not.
They almost have to go gayer with it
and have like, they
need like, dude, I hope they
do. They have to have like two trans
men with like a Puerto R they do they have to have like two trans men with like a puerto rican
baby they've they've neutered like a dog better yet reshape the beer can to be peep
drink from the tip i love that and, you can sit on it.
Give me a Bud Light. Do you want cut or uncut?
Give me the fucking cut. Give me the cut.
But you know what? That's the last straw. This is America.
Last straw.
The cock can is where I draw the line.
I'm the other way. I only drink gay beer.
I want people to know I'm on the right side of history.
You're an ex-porter.
I'm progressive.
Weak and all the dicks
are brown man look i i promise you they're gonna double down on that shit because they won't learn
their lesson they'll be like oh we're we're standing proud and it'll go down on it they'll
do something i'm looking forward to it i can't wait to see the commercial by the way anybody
who drinks bud light you just have awful taste i mean don't like beer, but I can tell you that's bad beer. It's not that bad.
It's bad beer. It's fine.
It's bad beer. If you're
at a hockey game,
if you're at a bar... It's McDonald's of beer. Yeah, it is.
Literally, yes. McDonald's is
bad food. It is bad food, but sometimes
it's what you need. Sometimes it's what you need,
man. If I'm sitting watching
a Blues game at the Enterprise
Center, I'm watching a whole sports game. I'm watching a whole sports game at the enterprise center rolling rock i'm watching
i'm watching a whole i'm watching a whole sports game i'm watching a whole sports game do you think
that i want to sit there and drink some like heavy eight percent quadruple ipa bullshit or do i want
a nice light low alcohol like it's genus or bud no get a yingling get a rolling rock get in to get
a doseki get a corona get in get a miller light i drink i will drink a
pitcher of miller light fucking warm before i drink a cold bud light okay the thing about even
the thing about miller light is it's actually better than bud light it has a it has a worse
aftertaste but it's it's less calories it's 15 less calories it's less alcohol though so you
gotta drink more of it oh i thought it was the same i think it's like five even or something maybe four eight that's one of those i assumed all of the the big lights were the
same like bud if you put any of these beers in front of me i'd have no idea which is which oh
i pick regular versus light like i don't i don't drink beer at all light just means less calories
so you can be like oh i'm not making as bad of a decision what else does it have less of alcohol feel it's it's a it's a super light lower alcohol beer that's like meant to
be drank like over the course of the day like outside or at a sporting event like while driving
just an anytime beer man just something to take the edge off you know you might think that that
that drinking and driving is is really frowned upon everywhere,
but I swear, I know a guy.
He'd come around and be like,
Oh, it's such a nice rainy day.
I saw him at the gas station.
He's one of my dad's kind of friends,
but I was going into a gas station.
He was coming out, and he had a whole case of beer.
I was like, Where are you going, Ronnie?
He's like, Oh, on a rainy day like this that it's like to ride and drink.
He was going to get in his truck
on this nice, calm, rainy day
because nobody would be on the roads,
he thought, I suppose,
and just drink that 12-pack of beer
while he just caroused the county.
That is just an incompetent murderer.
It's just, yeah, basically manslaughter after hockey so i came
from new jersey and in new jersey and pennsylvania at least in my circle no one would drink or drive
it was like a hard fast thing you wouldn't drink and drive having an open container while drive
driving was jaw-dropping but even if you did like drink you made like damn sure to do that like less than a
drink an hour thing so that you'd be legal that was my world in jersey wow i um would play hockey
guys would have like three beers after the game in a hurry and then just drive home
and yeah you're buzzed it was shocking to me um so i just sort of took it in the heart early on that it was a bad idea to drink and drive
and i just took it so seriously that i never even attempted it i don't think i know i've driven
buzzed for sure like a time or two uh that i shouldn't have but i've certainly never got
been like drunk driving like like many many drinks or anything uh and i always didn't think too much
of that i thought that it was just like what you're a little bit inconvenienced here like get a ride home or sleep it off or whatever
it's a very like to me it was always like dude chill right here in this parking lot for three
hours let's smoke cigarettes and listen to the radio and not kill somebody right
like because i didn't nugget smoke i didn't like drinking very much and i was also like an athlete
when i was young and uh um because because that i always like i wanted to be
designated driver and everyone else was thrilled that somebody wanted to be designated driver so
it was a win all over the place oh that's good yeah i had i had two friends that drunk it like
they were drunk and driving and uh they were like goofing about driving in separate cars and they
crashed into each other and like kept going and
they were like dented up and they fucked up their cars damn and it was just impactful for me it was
like wow like it's incredibly dangerous and this is a guy like has a high risk profile and they
didn't ruin their cars i wouldn't say this um so that you know children could hear me because you
want to set a good example but just between us, some people who drink every day,
they can handle that shit.
They can drink and drive.
They can drink and shoot.
They can drink and operate heavy machinery, all sorts of shit.
The people who actually every day are having six beers at lunchtime
or 12 or whatever, people who heavily drink, they can do it.
I just believe they can.
I've seen them do it.
I think the problem is when people don't know how to handle their alcohol their alcohol like a man like a man you're not serial you think i'd
like object to that but one i've seen it too with alcohol i was off-roading there are people who
drink 24 by the campfire at night i was like that's outrageous to me uh also i would say
there's a parallel but i could never take an edible and drive.
If I take an edible, if I take half a death by gummies, I can barely put my pants on.
I have to hold something to steady myself.
Yeah.
Even shorts.
I almost need a spotter.
So I shouldn't be driving, but I have friends who will like get high and fly their paragliders and shit
like that.
And they feel like they're better at it while high.
Yeah.
I don't think I'm a better driver high,
but I used to just smoke and drive all the time.
You know,
whether that's a good thing or not.
Chiz would,
would have my back.
I promise you y'all can message Chiz right now.
And just obviously he can't hear this. No, you won't respond. You can message Chiz right now and just, obviously he can't hear this.
You can message Chiz and you can say
Hey Chiz,
you can say, Chiz,
Chiz, who's the best high driver
you've ever experienced? You can just say that
or you can just say, Chiz,
you ever seen anyone who's really good at driving while they're
high? You can phrase it like that and he'll
tell you tales of my fucking
driving skills while stoned out of my fucking uh uh driving skills while
stoned out of my out of my mind but i don't think you're racing how did you do it like how did i
just all sorts of feats of prowess like i wouldn't speak in a loud lesbians bought a fool
you'll have to have to ask a chiz about the things that i've done behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. Okay. Feats, Woody.
Feats.
I don't doubt it.
You put off the good driver vibe.
I...
There are people, especially with smoking, and maybe drinking too,
who are just elite at it.
And they can get away with more than I can.
Yeah, but nobody should fucking try.
Because the downside is you kill a family of four who didn't deserve that shit and all because also you
get home a little bit early so nobody should do that shit it's awful very true yeah leave your
bad decision to be personal decisions like i do yeah yeah fucking ride a bicycle home
that should be legal if i if i was president i would make it only legal to ride
your bicycle in the bicycle lane
if you were drunk.
Really?
That's kind of a joker
mayhem for the sake of
mayhem policy, isn't it?
Why do you want bicycles in the...
I think they'll eventually
weed themselves out that way.
They're going to be getting clipped
left and right. I've talked about it on the show. I think cycling is more dangerous themselves out that way. If that they're just always doing. Yeah, they're going to be getting clipped left and right.
I've talked about on the show.
I think cycling is more dangerous than it gets credit for.
Everyone rips on motorcycles, but.
Cyclists get hit by cars, too, all the time.
Yeah, and it's driving in the streets and they're often asking for it.
Yeah, and they're not going with the flow of traffic like a motorcycle is. Beyond rude. Can you imagine me wandering onto a field with the Ravens and the Lions playing,
and I demand that their offense moves around me?
They're doing what that field is made for,
and here I come arrogantly traipsing about demanding access to something not made for me or my vehicle,
and all responsibility is onto the Ravens and the lions to not hit me but if you do it i think you should dress in rainbow colored skin tight spandex at the very least taylor absolutely
drinking bud light that's what i'm gonna do that's what cyclists do i i never see them in
casual wear next time we we don't do a drinking episode ever,
because none of us want to do one ever again,
we'll do Bud Light.
We should do a high episode, and I'll just nap.
It'll be a lot of Kyle ruminating on things
and me trying to like, uh-huh, uh-huh.
And it'll do that thing where it's like,
yeah, I had a joke like three minutes
ago and i'm still mulling over like regret for not having said it what's he talking about now
all pretense and bring my bpap for this oh my god
it's like you're in a hospital bed
zach will you show us a picture of gorlock the destroyer
show us a picture of gore lock the destroyer now i was watching anything about this is i like to watch your thing yeah i like to watch um those those silly podcasts where women say silly things
and uh this is gore lock the destroyer she they asked her to describe herself i think she said
she was a bad bitch and and she just kind of goes on about um just just really full of herself i
really hope you have a picture because you got to see it.
It's,
it's not funny.
What podcast is it?
Like what?
I don't know.
It's just the women sitting around talking about Gorlock.
The,
the decimator.
It's the destroyer,
the destroyer decimated better.
Oh,
there's too many people on a pot.
Whoa.
There she is.
You found her.
Oh,
I've seen her before man this
episode was so fucking i don't i like she's gonna grind your bones to make bread she's like
talking about like you know in high school when you just throw on any little cute little dress
and just go to go to school and the the's making side eyes at her and shit the whenever she says
something that's like an obvious i don't know troll um no one intended podcast i assume we're
looking at is it called whatever the whatever show zach can you zoom out i think the previous
picture okay so um there's what happens is this every show is about the same you have this guy who's a podcast host
and he is a professional communicator right like this is what he does and he makes his point and
he often has these stats and studies and stuff at his disposal and then he brings on these girls
they're from only fans typically and he tells them they're making life mistakes that like yeah
you're kind of rocking with it right now when you're 22 when you're 30 you're going to be alone you're going to die get a cat you suck and uh all the girls
just get smashed with their long-term negative life decisions in this and i don't know how he
finds more guests i don't they agree they're happy to come on for the exposure but if you had like a podcast where you just verbally and
physically beat up on 50 year old ex-gamers and i watched this week after week and then i was
invited i would say no thank you right like you're tired so what they i bet i don't know but i bet
they say something like we get 10 million impressions per podcast when it's chopped up,
and I bet it's more than that.
They give them impression numbers, and they're like,
these girls are all social media whores of one kind or another.
Most of them, maybe the majority, have OnlyFans,
but all of them have Instagrams that they're making money off of.
So it's a huge deal for them to come on his show
and maybe come off well you know gorlock ain't picking up no only fans i don't think i'm not
i'm not only fans but i bet i don't fucking know man that was rough she does but uh
you know they might look like fools but potential customers out there might see them as fantastic
like yeah what you've sucked over 400 dicks
and slept with 100 guys?
Do you realize how hard it's going to be
for you to find a good man with that
track record? What men are looking for,
he would say, is a subservient
woman with low mileage.
But
if you're like a sugar daddy or something
and you're like, oh, I could
get that, then maybe this is effective advertising and they're smarter than I'm giving them credit for.
I can't stop thinking about that woman's body shape.
Yeah.
Small tits.
Did you notice that?
I did notice that.
That's tragic.
That Grease's gold tooth looking bitch.
Yeah.
That's a good reference.
If Zach could show us grease this gold tooth that'll
get a real laugh out of everybody i promise um but it's uh oh my goodness look how big see like
look at her body shape there she's like oh my god oh my god i just found it that's danny devito
she's shaped like danny devito she is no i'm gonna go back to an argument i made three hours ago i
think if you push that woman over, she doesn't get hurt.
She just rolls.
Yeah, she rolls.
She's young and spry.
Yeah, I don't think she could.
And I hate to be a hater.
Like, never mind.
I'm not going to give her a hard time.
Oh.
If it gave you pause.
There's Grease's gold tooth.
He rides around in a wagon because he's immobile.
And in his left hand, you'll notice that's a big
hunk of meat. It's a big leg
of something. Probably a lamb.
He often says he's too
rich to walk.
Because he has everybody else carry him.
Very cool. Too rich to walk.
You have to be like a Saudi to be that rich
in the real world. Remember that one guy
who was
he got to about 800 pounds in saudi arabia
this was about 20 years ago he's not alive and they had to i'm sure they had to they had to cut
the side of his house out and get it and then he was kind of like waving on the back of a flat bed
like he was you know the sole member of a parade yeah Yeah. They're throwing candy.
They're throwing candy at him, though.
What gets lost in that is
the pooping.
How does that happen?
It gets lost, all right.
If you're immobile like that,
are you just pooping in place?
You have to be.
He couldn't move.
I think Boogie maybe told us,
somebody obese that we talked to us told
us or i've heard it at least they talk about like having a long swiffer like squeegee attachment
like like like a like a big stick with a whole bunch of sponges duct taped to the other end
yeah and a bucket now zach can you pull up a fat person ass wiping device so we can take a look
because you're right we have talked about this i don't remember if it was boogie bonus points if you show us a korean woman i have a motorcycle remember that that air
uh there was the story of like the the guy who forced the airline lady to wipe his ass and he
was oh yeah yeah he was like coming it looks like it's uh um what is the wet toilet paper called just wet wipes wet wipes thank
you i lost it for a second it looks like wet wipes i don't see how that would work i need a sponge i
need something with a little i think it's go it's like a belt loop i bet in there i bet it's like
going in and then coming out like a fish hook that like how do you get the shit off no you know what
it is i bet that little i bet that plunger on the end is holding the TP in there with some pinch.
And so you're supposed to wipe your ass and then hit the plunger.
And it's supposed to drop it.
Don't hit it twice, though.
It'll pinch your asshole.
I was starting to say, I have a motorcycle friend.
Dangerous.
This happened in the spring or something.
He broke both his arms.
So he was in casts that held them like this.
I was too polite to ask him how he handled
pooping. I shit in the hot tub.
It was me. Make somebody else clean that up.
Yeah, I shit in the hot tub now.
You're just getting out.
You're shitting into the hot tub
and you're like, oh, it's all
all over you.
I'm just using the
I shit in the hot tub and i'm covered in it
you're still drying off and you're like this is disgusting who did this
but you're clearly the only one that was in there and it's a hotel oh god damn you're not slipping dude if you need to shit in a hot tub
that's got to be one of the most awful things i jizzed in one one time and ruined the filter or
something i caused some problems with it or something um but uh but but to shit in one that
is truly repugnant it is but like you wouldn't even be shitting. You'd be leaning your ass over the side of it.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'd shit right.
I'd get my ass over like so that the jet is sort of shooting perpendicular to my asshole,
like sort of clipping it.
And and then I just let her fly.
And I figure it, you know, I'd hop out immediately.
Right.
Because the pressure is going to keep me clean, though.
Of course.
Yeah.
And then, you know, you have the lady
that cleans the rest of the house
come out with one of those skimmers.
She just skims it all out.
She just skims it like it's a stir fry.
She skims it all out.
Oh, the dog got in there again, huh?
Son of a bitch.
Gross.
I'm excited to watch that show from
I really do
I really want something interesting
season 2 on Plex
just you know dropping hints
oh god I gotta send that guy my
fucking email sometime
dude
it kills me because Kyle will talk about like
five cool movies from
1997 and then I look at like what been added, and it's all five.
In order that we talked about them on the show, he's on everything.
I'm sure Frum will show.
Yeah.
Well, I do recommend this show.
I like it a bunch.
I don't think it's like a fucking AAA title or anything,
but it's better than just a background noise show
because they've paid a lot
of attention to detail to i'm nitpicky i'll believe in wizards and aliens and ghouls and
shit as long as you establish some rules and you stick to them and as long as you don't leave
glaring plot holes like i said there's a part where a child gets hurt and he heals too quickly
and nothing is said of it for a while and i was like the fuck dude that was a serious injury that kid took and then
somebody's like man you're you're healing kind of fast huh buddy he's like i think people heal
different here and then it's like all right that's all i fucking need it that's all i need it tell
me people heal differently here and i can buy that his legs cool now and that he didn't die
just now holy shit because he should have if there's an aspect of magic it's easy to you know we'll see um part of the fun of the show and i still don't know
so there's nothing for me to spoil but it's like man are they dead is this like a sci-fi type thing
is this another universe that they fell into is this a religious type thing are those demons after
them is god on their side is there an overseer like
like watching through a glass like hologram like you don't know like what the fucking deal is
how long is how many episodes are in the first season like 10 episodes like 45 50 minutes each
you tore through nine hours of this show yesterday i started watching yesterday at like i don't know
8 p.m or something and i
stayed up like all night watching the show and then i got up today and polished off another four
or five episodes or something wow all right well if it was that engaging i i'm so tired of only
finding stuff that like i watched for 20 minutes and i'm like oh yeah this is like this should be
squarely in background noise like this isn't even worth paying they haven't annoyed me yet they
haven't annoyed me and it They haven't annoyed me.
And it's,
it's,
it's easy to annoy me and lose my business as a viewer for whatever value
that has.
I,
there's a Star Trek YouTuber I loved.
He referred to America as a death cult the other day.
I was like,
fuck you.
Did he call us the great Satan?
Yeah.
He called us a fucking death cult.
It's a gun thing,
right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then he said something else that I also
didn't like. I can't remember what it was,
but it was also like... Anti-gun people are calling
the Second Amendment
a death cult or suicide cult
or something.
Well, they better hope I don't start thinking about
their freedom of speech as a speech cult
or anything.
I'm with you. I'm pro-gun.
Guns are great.
I recognize that
probably lots of guns lead to more
gun shootings. It's why.
I'm not going to deny that. I'm not going to be some
crazy guy who's like, you know what?
It's really not about guns at all.
No, no, no. Lots of guns around.
All about guns. Lots of guns around
make shootings more common but lots of cars do
like lots of car crashes too like nobody nobody's talking about stricter vehicle registration after
that dude plowed into all those people last week with yeah one of them's a hot button political
issue the other one's not nobody's fucking with the nstca or fucking ford motor company what's
the nstca the national highway traffic safety association did i
get that right i think i'll go with it something like that i used to quote that real real fast to
people to trick them into buying cars oh yeah she actually says this and then this traffic they do
the traffic ratings the like 35 mile per hour impacts and shit from the side and stuff like
that's where the ratings come from the trick what kind of fucking rubes falling off an apple cart
were you selling cars to
that you could quickly say the National Highway Safety and Traffic Administration?
Well, I could tell.
Hell, this gentleman knows all of my bears.
I know acronyms, and I know all sorts of lies that I could tell.
And you wouldn't be able to call me on them,
or I'd make you look like a fool in front of your wife.
I know just as many lies.
Yeah, those fan belts were made out of fucking Kevlar. Kevlar, like a fool in front of you. I know just as many lies. Yeah, those fan belts were made out of
Kevlar. Like a bulletproof vest.
Yeah, they're like, no, they're not.
Actually, I installed that belt last
week, sir. I know for a fact it is.
What are you going to do? Test it?
You'll see.
You want to test this Volvo
fan belt? You're going to get a car today, sir. What's it going
to be? I don't know if it's still the case,
but those highway safety ratings were bad.
They were poorly done.
Maybe I had the suspicion Taylor knows about this too,
but what they do is they'd crash the car into a wall
and see how the car fares.
The problem is that really only matters
if you're crashing into a wall.
If you do something like a smart car
and crash into the wall, it might be okay.
But if a smart car and an F-150 hit each other,
a smart car does far worse than it would with a wall.
It gets pushed backwards.
And the collision-like things, they don't take account for that, the safety ratings.
You know what I love?
They don't test for women's bodies, only for men.
I'm fine with that.
I love that.
As it should be.
Because what the fuck is she doing behind the
wheel of a motor vehicle?
Ha ha ha.
I hope your brother gave permit.
A woman's ovaries
were never meant to travel over
30 miles an hour in the extended
period of time.
A woman's ovaries.
They used to think your cervix would just fall right out of you
if you got above 30 feet.
Get out from behind the wheel of that automobile
and get to your doctor for fingering.
You're losing your mind and you must come.
Go to your doctor.
Vibrating seats for when women first start driving.
To be in a doctor in like 1878, it's like, ma'am, you're terminally horny.
I've got to take care of this for you.
You know, they're coal powered little steam vibrators.
I saw this thing about how women weren't getting good medical care, that they basically treated them like men with a hormonal deficiency.
And I thought, and I don't know know i still don't know if i'm wrong
i'm like isn't that like mostly right i mean unless we're talking about reproductive organs
or something like that but if you're operating on a woman's trachea isn't she basically a man
with a different hormonal balance if you're operating on a woman's broken ankle like do
we need to treat them so differently than men what's the big difference
yeah like i think they were talking more about like female care specifically being neglected
right i agree with you i think ankles are ankles but now the thing i was talking about really what
they hyper focused on was that like women will say they're in pain and they're like not treating
their pain as seriously because women might be more apt to say, owie owie, this hurts.
That's actually not true in my family.
Like Jackie, for example, is very good with needles and pain in general.
So she's learned.
I feel like I don't know.
Actually, I heard redheads feel more pain.
It's true.
Yeah, I don't know about that i've always
been interested by that because it's like other than just other than anesthesia being different
what else is because like that is a thing that redheads need more anesthesia i've heard that
yeah and apparently that's semi-combatant is it because anesthesia is less effective on them or
because their pain tolerance is. See, that's,
that's what,
thank you for articulating what I failed to like.
That's my question as well.
Yeah.
And,
um,
potheads need more anesthesia.
Absolutely.
We do load me up.
I probably need a fuck ton at this point.
Just all this legal weed.
Give me milk.
Is pothead an insult?
Yeah, it's a derogatory,
but I don't mind.
You can call me a ninja
if you want. It doesn't bother me a bit. It's kind of like that.
We're friends, so you can call me
a pothead, but you
won't be like, yo, potheads!
They beat you up.
They're a violent
group.
Potheads are not a violent group at all.
If you're on their turf, especially, I've heard.
They say, get out of here.
That's all they say.
That's all they say.
I was looking for a counter thing.
That's it. That's all I got.
Get out of here, clean urinator.
Get out of here.
Hey, piss off. I'm sorry.
I'm a marijuana enthusiast.
Although I haven't had actual marijuana and I don't even know how long.
Cause I'm just enjoying these death by gummy vape cartridges.
That just gets you all,
just gets you zooted.
I'm sure.
Send you to a scary lands,
but it cracks me up that this is true on Reddit.
There is a subreddit called trees for reasons i don't
understand marijuana enthusiasts call their plant a tree maybe maybe it is i don't know um but that
left tree enthusiasts without a subreddit so like woodworkers and stuff have a subreddit called
marijuana enthusiasts and if you have like a two by four that's been cross-cut
you can post it on there and be like is this a douglas fir or pine and the marijuana enthusiasts
are actually tree experts and they'll do that and the tree experts are actually marijuana enthusiasts
and they'll send each other the correct subreddit because it's the opposite of what you'd expect
that's funny a couple examples of that i think there's something one of the political ones is
like um anime titties i think is the is is the really good political subreddit where they don't
allow any biased bullshit.
If they try to keep it a secret, go to AnimeTitties.
It's a great political subreddit. Not even kidding.
Not sure how to spell anime.
A-N-I-M-E
T-I-T-T-I-E-S
I think it's just AnimeTitties. I could be wrong about
that.
I don't go there. I go to ARC
and serve before they mean business. That's where the
memery takes place because
the other subreddits all got banned.
All the Donald subreddits
it seems like. There's a couple of them but they don't
con you. Okay, I totally fell for
Kyle's thing, hook, line, and sinker.
These are all anime titties.
Oh, you know what?
Girl after girl with the T-T-I-N-E.
You know what I'm remembering now what i'm remembering now
and if i'm wrong about this i'm sorry but i think what happened was anime titties for the longest
time was exactly what is described and then recently they're like it's not gonna work
anymore we're going to anime titties and they just actually started doing anime titties i think i read
something about that uh zach showed that it was banned, but I spelled it
T-I-T-T-I-E-S. I think that's the correct
way. You want the I-E-S.
Yep. You want
the I-E-S if you want to see anime. I wonder
if you spell it with a D.
This one's having sex, and she's a cheerleader.
How old does she look?
Aren't they cartoons? Don't answer that. Jesus Christ.
She's not a child. 50 at least. She's not a child 50 at least she's not a child i've been fairy years none of these are underage looking girls that i'm skiing
yeah yeah i gotta stay away from that every now and then youtube shorts will be like
here's two 12 year old girls lip sync into a fucking song. And I'm like,
no,
no,
no,
no.
Why won't you send me people singing annoying songs in my list?
I need to find people fighting.
That's not how 12 year old girls sing songs though.
They don't sit there.
They fucking put on like sexy clothes and dance.
That's what girls do on,
on,
on the internet.
Taylor,
all of them.
That's what they all do.
Well,
then they,
then their parents should probably be aware of this. You've never been on Tik TOK and seen the girls. We. All of them. Then their parents should probably be aware
of this. You've never been on
TikTok and seen the girls be like, well, every
human being on TikTok who sings along to
lip syncs to a song and then shakes their ass
and makes a career out of doing that somehow?
I don't know how you could do that on TikTok based on what
people said about the money.
I think that they show you
most of the ass and then they send
you over to their OnlyFans where you get to see the rest.
I think that's how you monetize that.
That's how you grab them.
That's how you entice them.
Business 101.
There's that famous photo of the OnlyFans model
and this ogre-like human being that's with her.
And she's like,
my best OnlyFans fan paid $10,000
to have a special hangout together.
TT.
And they're like, but then the commenters are like, wait a minute, dude. have a special hangout together. TT.
And they're like, but then the commenters are like, wait a minute, dude.
They're in a hotel room.
She doesn't have her shoes on and the bed is messy.
Dude paid 10 grand.
A fucker.
And then like months later, I guess he saved up another 10 grand.
And it's them again on another vacation.
Dude has lost significant amount of weight and like got a haircut and a shave he's like slowly but i want to see that third date $30,000 date yeah right like like you could tell
like he's made his life's mission to to get with this and you know she's the only fan smile she's
super hot whatever not like they all are or anything but that one must be rich or i think i think he's saving up you know 10k at a time and kind of living
on rice and beans until he can get his hands back on that that internet model damn that's pretty
pretty rough good for her though man i bet that's the life right yeah 10 grand well
based on what you just said, having sex
with a big, fat dude.
Alright, let's
switch places, right? Big, sweaty,
dirty girl wants to take you for
a ride, cowboy, and she's gonna put
you away wet one way or another.
And it's $10,000 a night
and she's gonna get her time, right? You gotta sleep
in that bed with her and it's gonna stink. And she did not
pull the correct move and get two queens.
One fucking twin there
and there it is. Air conditioning's not working.
She's just grinding,
grinding into you and her pubic hair
is just a little bit too long, so it's like sandpaper.
And you shaved your dicks and her
acidic vaginal
juices are like burning the root of your
dick root where you shaved and you just want it to
end, but it won't. It won't because because she's just she's got that desensitized are you having a ptsd
moment right now he's just riffing this isn't a memory at all no i mean she doesn't even pay you
and then you find out that it was 10 000 doll hairs
those were fish bucks apparently because they're not real
yeah yeah that'd be a little different you'd be okay with that though like like i don't know if
you're bringing 10 000 home a night like you could suffer through a big old nasty sexual experience
oh ten thousand dollars absolutely i mean i've been with some women and like halfway through
it been like god God, I want
this to be over with.
You just go to your happy place.
And you didn't even get $10,000. You were out
$200. I didn't get anything.
Well,
you guys want to call it a show? Yeah.
Real quick, Hurricanes won. Next round.
Go Canes! Hurricanes in five.
Told you. PKA
647.