Painkiller Already - PKA 663 W/ Wolf: Hulk Hogan’s Insane Stories, Wolf Knows Kempo, Crocodile Pit Vs Chimp Closet

Episode Date: September 2, 2023

pka 663 our guest wolf had some tech issues we're hoping he joins us soon taylor this episode of pka brought to you by lock and load pharaoh distro and of course our friends over at betterhelp.com we'll hear more about all of them later kyle you were talking our ear off so excited to share with us some wrestling lore oh i don't hogan and potentially murder. Is he a murderer? Can you clear the air? I have some thoughts. Yeah, I watched his JRE appearance. It's brand new, I guess, today.

And I don't watch that much. For the listener, that's a podcast called The Joe Rogan Experience. Shut up, Woody. For those who don't know, a podcast is... So Hulk Hogan, amazing guest i i loved it uh it was so good and he was talking about the old days of wrestling so originally everyone knows of vince mcmahon i'm sure well his father is vince mcmahon senior so in vince mcmahon senior's day wrestling was this there were these territories and it was most it was like areas around the

country because you had local tv not this not cable uh like covering a whole country so you owned your territory it was almost like mafia rules you know like you don't go into our territory if you do you're coming here because we we invited you and your guys will lose to our champion and then you'll just and that's how we'll do business. And so when it came time to hand the business down, actually sell it to his son, Vince McMahon Jr. He's like, look, business is yours. Run it how you want, son.

But don't ever mess with the territories. Promise me you won't mess with the territories. It's like, I promise you, Pop. Fingers crossed. Immediately, immediately he goes to Hogan. promise me you won't mess with the territories it's like i promise you pop fingers crossed immediately immediately he goes to hogan we're going after the territories you coming with me he's like yeah yeah yeah so they go into this one territory and what the way they do it obviously is they buy ad time in fucking omaha or whatever and start pumping fucking hulk hogan's coming to town august 6th the baddest

motherfucker in the world the champion of this place in that place and he holds this belt and that belt he's six foot this 200 and whatever 24 inch biceps brother he's coming he's coming for the chance whatever and the problem is the champ in this region has been champ for like 18 fucking years. He's as hard as nails, motherfucker, who doesn't put people over. He doesn't lose to you. You lose to him. That's how it works. And he puts word out.

You tell Hogan, I'm going to kill him when I see him. And they're like, oh, yeah, we'll let him know. You let Hogan know I'm going to use this. I'm going to shoot him in the face. They're like, oh, okay, we'll let him know. And so Hogan flies into town or whatever, and they call him. And it wasn't about the threat. It was, hey, the champ came down to the ring today with a gun,

and he tried to burn the ring down. And the cops came, and they kicked him out, but they didn't arrest him. So he says he's gonna kill you when he sees you and hogan's like so i'm fucking terrified because i know who this man is he's a scary man he means what he says so you know i i roll in late um you know the the intermission's already begun i'm at a bar down the street i've had a couple bottles of wine and uh you know just kill the time and it's time for me to go in. So I go in.

Man, my stomach's just upset from all that wine. I got to take a dump, brother. And so I head into the bathroom and I got my yellow spandex around my ankles in there. And I'm letting her rip. And I hear the British Bulldog, who's another pro wrestler, yell, he's coming for you, Hogan. He's in here he said so i jump up and i jerk my shorts up don't even wipe my ass i got he's like i can't be caught my pants literally down and i burst out into the room ready to fight and he's got that gun right in my face

and he says i should kill you for coming here i should kill you right here for coming here and trying to do this to me. But I need a job. And he's like, and that's how we signed him. And we took the territory. And that sounded rough. There we go. Good evening. How are you doing?

Yes. We got him. We got him. Sorry about that, guys. Oh, no worries. I was just telling him about Hulk Hogan on the, giving an interview today. He also said that the scariest territory was, I think Puerto Rico.

He said that going down there and trying to do business with them was scary. He said there was this big wrestler. I don't remember his name, but he was like a six foot eight, 300 pound guy who wouldn't, who he went down there and he was the Rodriguez brothers or whatever, like, yo, you're going to lose to us tonight. And he's like, not tonight brother. And he, you know, he,

so he wins against the Rodriguez brothers. And then when I was like, Hey, Domingo wants to talk to you in the shower. So he goes in the shower and Domingo slits his throat, kills him right there. Kills the Rodriguez brothers one, really. And all the wrestlers who saw it were afraid to testify. He's like, so that guy's wrestling right now. Fuck. Jesus.

He's like, don't go down to Puerto Rico, brother. I thought it was so much faker than all of that. Yeah. It seemed like... This isn't supposed to be real, brother. No, it's not. It seemed like the real parts were real scary. He talked about the rooms getting destroyed and stuff.

They'd go places and they'd be wrestling and they'd go and just completely destroy their hotel room and destroy their belongings. They'd get security all the time. He's like, I'd stay with a group. He's like, you don't want to peel off and be on your own like we're at hotel you know on the way to the arena whatever it reminded me of how scary mma got when um they'd go down to brazil sometimes and like chael sonnen had talked so much shit that there were brazilians who were seriously talking about murdering him and it's

a dangerous place where you know maybe people might mean what they say honestly that guy though like i've showered with a lot of men and if some guy some of it sports related and if i had been asked like hey like after a hockey game or something the opposing coach wants to talk to you in the shower like there's no world he's not just the opposing he's the book see it's more incestuous in this not sexually obviously but intertwined i should say this business because not only was this guy his opponent that night because they're like i don't know but the rodriguez tree the gonzalez is what it is i'm just using a you know and i wish we could be more slurry on here i can can't. But he was also the booking agent. It's like your booking agent wants to see you in there,

not just your opponent and the guys. They just wrestled. They just did business together, essentially. And he's like, hey, he wants to talk to you in there and blah. Anyway, he was lured in there. And if he wants to talk to me, I'll be at the concession stand. Like, that's how you save your life there, is you don't go into the shower with someone who you know is really mad.

Also, you become psychic so that you know that the person luring you into the shower. I'm sure that's not the first time he's had a conversation in the shower. Taylor, you're wildly wrong. If someone invites me to the shower, I say yes. You say yes. No. You're coming across pretty straight in this conversation

I've never turned down a shower invitation it's the ultimate murder place it's an excellent place to murder someone because it's like all the blood's going right into the drain like it's already clean

before your boobs even come to attack the body. I don't want a slippery surface. I don't want to be nude. No. Give me an asphalt street surface any day. That's so exciting. The murderer was dressed. He wasn't dressed.

It reminds me of that. I wasn't there or anything, you know. Remember that Viggo Morgensen movie? Yeah, yeah. Eastern Promises. Yeah. The movie's awesome. That's why you don't want to have a fight in a shower, right? there or anything you know remember that vego morganson movie when he yeah eastern promises yeah he's awesome like that's why you don't want to fight in a shower right like that no that's why you don't want to fight vego mortensen in a shower or not yeah he will hang dong and beat you to death yeah that was a that was a good movie yeah he goes you was great. You're like, is that, are you sure that's Aragorn, son of Arathorn?

Because he's hanging his socks out and he's got tats all over him and he's cheek, he's choking Igor to death with his like, own belt or something over there. It was, that's a good hardcore movie. The only part of that scene that I didn't like was when I first saw that movie, Eastern Promises, and I saw Viggo Mortensen,

like naked like that, like I almost had a reaction of like, this is Aragorn and you're putting him naked in a fight. Like, like in my head, I was like, this man is a Titan and like he should be able to, like he shouldn't even be allowed

to be in a vulnerable position. Get Boromir, like get Sean Bean in the mix not eric dying in another movie and it's just he fails to save the girl like he just killed in the shower see maybe i'm showing my age or something but i i i think of him as master Chief from G.I. Jane still. Oh, that's right. He's such a piece of shit. Oh, man. Even his lieutenants or whatever, like his underlings who are mean motherfuckers, they're like,

he starts beating the shit out of Demi Moore. The idea is Demi Moore is going to be the first lady Navy SEAL with her big old titties and everything. And they're doing the part of training where you're like it's like uh interrogation uh training yeah and so you know they roughed me more up a little bit and she's she's like spitting blood at him and shit she's hardcore and then vigo mortensen just starts whooping her ass just starts starts punching her in the mouth, beating her like a man.

And I think she kicks him in the balls and tells him to suck her dick or something like that. Or maybe she just takes it easy. He's getting close to like R-ing her. I don't know what we can say. Yeah, yeah. Retarding her. Yeah, he was going to Viggo Mortensen. I think the YouTube code is grape, by the way.

Okay, that's what people say that's good yeah same as tiktok he was gonna give her that he's gonna give that arwen treatment under yeah but yeah and uh and even his like his like i said his second in command or whatever all those guys were like dude don't don't fucking rape her what's going on here this is like going so far but but you know if you've seen the movie it's pretty fucking good um you know it's one of my most inspirational movies ever i just like to mean more as big titties because she just they're just everywhere and i don't mind that she shaved her head i like to mean more than anything yeah she's one of she's one of the hottest chicks

she's one of the classes in my opinion she's that in the 80s like she was in um the one with patrick swayze ghost ghost yeah yeah yeah the scene with the clay or whatever on the list of women who aged extraordinarily well because demi moore to me that's her super connelly okay i want demi moore's way up there i am sondra bullock is on my list who played black panther's mom? Oh, well, Black don't crack. Okay. That lady. No Asians, no blacks. It's pool rules!

Pool rules! Chowder Bullock, Demi Moore. I had another one. You love it. Jennifer Connelly is the winner, man. I promise you. Look up Jennifer Connelly so you're reminded. In the early 80s, she did a little bit of nudity

and she's the one who's ass to ass in Requiem. Requiem of the dream yeah yeah and then the the most recent recent thing i saw her in was obviously on the uh the the tv show um uh with the train that's constantly going snowpiercer she's the main chicken and she's still like stunning i was gonna guess mr ro Rogers neighborhood. No. He's been dead for like 35, 40 years or so. Really?

RIP. You mean he's not 112? Right. Oh my goodness. This is like, yeah, she looks tremendous. Good for her. Always fit. She like always. How old is she in that?

You think? 55. Holy smokes. That's very good. Damn. I don't know. There's like a reverse code, too, that I've noticed. If you ever see an article about a famous actress going vegan, you can expect that they start getting that older looking skin real quick. Very sucking

and tight. Almost a little gaunt and emaciated. Having said that, I think being a little pudgy is good for wrinkles. Definitely. It keeps them at bay for a bit. You just want to gain

half a pound every year. Is the mother from black panther also michonne from walking dead no no michonne is the uh door melange i don't know what that is the that's the black panther that's the girls who can fight really good the special forces but michonne is in the movie right like yeah michonne's their leader okay okay um i'm talking about um why can't i think of her name she was in um she's been in she was in kill bill she was in she was oh is it angela bassett angela bassett yeah from kill bill i thought that was vivica a fox oh you're right i'm? I thought that was Vivica A. Fox. Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. My bad. That was Vivica Fox.

Shoot. Vivica, look. You've got to get somebody to pay you to get in the shape that Vivica A. Fox got into for Killville. Her ass is tremendous. Is she the Asian woman? She's the black lady. She's the first one that gets killed and she's wearing pants.

But her ass is huge. Anyway, I remember her with her hat. Yeah, this lady's held up quite well, but she's in her 70s almost, bro. Here's the thing. Because it's a Marvel movie and it's Disney, they put that

CGI magic on everybody now. They give everybody just a little bit. You know what? On Disney Channel everybody's a little prettier. You know what? On Disney Channel, everybody's a little prettier. You know what? It's never, never land forever, motherfucker. Fucking Peter Pan came in and lifted her up

like a fucking marionette. I'm watching Jack Reacher now. Everyone in that. Their idea of an ugly person is a seven. They'll be like people you're supposed to hate and meanwhile he'd be like the best looking guy at his high school it's that nobody's fat i do like that about that show reacher is like every time there's like an intimidating character or something you're like

damn that guy's pretty scary and then the main character walks in you're like oh no no he's not scary at all i forgot i forgot about the main guy the the guy who has to like walk sideways through doors dude he's so big he's so strong and he's so cut there's certain lore around this guy like this is it he's pretty much batman he seems to be able to bench a thousand pounds he's an attorney the police officer or something or other he's too perfect he's basically a superhero this is jack reacher the novel character yeah yeah and the amazon special tv show okay so um cruz with a good introduction to the character personally agreed he just doesn't

one of the pieces of lore behind jack reacher is that he eats a ton and he orders like four entrees for every dinner and it's like potato chips and fucking french fries and all and i can't watch that show without being like fuck you this is horse shit i will swallow that this guy takes bullets and knife wounds and doesn't give a fuck but don't tell me he eats french fries i don't believe that for a second that guy doesn't eat french fries takes me right out of the show i swear to god i thought the same thing really i was watching and i was like you look at his physique and i can do the math in my head on what it takes to get that physique a big a big part of the equation x might as well be just genetics because he's a genetic freak but there's a lot of there's has to be because he's white there has to be a lot of hard

work and and and dieting dehydration look like that like i don't know about dehydration because he always looks yoked as fuck dude he always looks big and everything he's ever done even in blue mountain state which i haven't really seen like maybe one episode he was the big dude in that you know we're working out in between sets and shooting like all day long and he's clearly on juice you know like not crazy style like he's clearly on juice you know like not crazy style like he's not bursting at the seams like a wwe guy or anything but he is the biggest human being i don't know if i've ever seen a person that big in real life in person like he is what colossal what's his real life stats like how big is he do we know that i don't know he looks

interesting because remember hollywood everybody could look tall right like I don't know. He looks interesting. Because remember, everybody could look tall, right? Like, it depends on casting. I think he's like 6'4". He's over 6'4", I think.

Like, he's big. Dude, so I'm watching Reacher recently with my wife, and it's making me insecure. Every time he takes his shirt off, which is like three times an episode, I'm like, you know he went on a cut

for this scene, right? Everyone knows that. Wow. Every time he takes his shirt off you should just make vague illusions that like cgi has gone too far like you know that's just a suit you know you know who plays him right peter dinklage this is this is all trumped up nonsense don't believe your lying eyes jackie this is impossible i gotta steal that line and i'm not gonna give you credit remember that movie with mark walberg and will ferrell and i would no not will ferrell the guy the replacements are more working it's but mark walberg is supposed to be like a guy who helps

out him and his wife when he's in trouble and mark is all cut and everything and and the guy from the office keeps saying steve carell he keeps saying why don't you put a shirt on like throughout the half the movie whenever you know he's looking at god he goes yeah you really should put a shirt on it's kind of chilly in here that's hilarious mark waldberg's had a great career do you remember the um what was the movie where he was like the older creepy boyfriend do you remember that one it's um he's he's like maybe 25 and the girl's like 16 or 17 and but but he's so scary it's the one where he like hits himself over and over they reference it in uh it's always sunny in ph Philadelphia. I don't remember that one.

Anyway, he can be super fucking scary and then he can be like the lovable dad movie thing. Was it called Fear? It was called Fear. I don't believe it. Are you doing Fear? Remember his wife with the rotten tooth? She starts hitting herself. He's faking an assault.

He's going to lie to the cops about oh he did this and this and that happened he's setting the family up so he's gonna bruise himself to yeah to set up the the stage yeah i i remember that reference from sunny but i never saw the film so i didn't get me neither one of the many times i watched something in a in like family guy i'm like okay something in the 80s had to do with that like that's there's a there's a cultural reference in the 80s had to do with that like that's there's a there's a cultural reference in the 80s that seth mcfarland's making but yeah i don't know he has the best references he does i haven't watched any new family guy in a good long while but that show used to be fucking hilarious like genuinely uproariously funny old family guy if you if you

haven't watched in a while while, pop that on. Yeah, I know what you mean, Woody, about like... Go ahead, Kyle. I was going to say I always appreciated that they had that orchestra where they have it like every episode is a different orchestra composing the music. I didn't even know that. It's like a ridiculous expense to do for a cartoon just because.

Just because he wanted it there? I I guess it has to be him it's funny like how many of those shows like it's clear that the creators are also just enormous song and dance like theater musical kids like the South Park guys can't resist song and dance and their stuff they're just they and it's and it's hilarious they do it Taylor I agree with they're just they and it's and it's hilarious they do it well i agree with what you're saying and it's funny to me because sometimes i see actors and in my head they're badasses like like picture you know a large portion of the game of thrones cast right like who's the the guy who liked brianne with the big red beard torment torment sure i was going for the actress's name. It doesn't matter. I saw him behind the scenes

at the trailers with a couple of the other actors and they are singing in like a chorus together, just laughing and having fun and I'm like, right, I think he's a sword-wheeling medieval badass. He's really a

drama nerd. Or got excessively late in high school. I think that's how drama nerds really worked and uh they're accepting so if you go to someone like danny trejo um if you don't know him by you know so he's the pockmarked mexican gang banger from everything ever yeah that guy started as a criminal and just was a criminal in prisons and stuff and they were like hey you'd be a great extra for the criminal movie i think he was due he was giving somebody hand-to-hand training for some movie or something and then they saw you gotta get in the background of this look how scary this fucking guy is and he made a whole

career out of that yeah and you know now he's he's had a few movies where he's been the star of the movie the machete movies um which were great um like like silly you know just for fun of it kind of movies and then of course i know you've seen it taylor the uh the movie that was based on epic beard man that awful movie yes that movie sucked yes so bad but you know there he was danny trejo, with a beard on. That was the only connection to the bus man that there even was, that he just put a beard on Danny Trejo and had him beat people up. Danny Trejo looked nothing like the bus man. No, Danny Trejo was a genius man.

I think the bus man had just like solid white old man hair. Is he the ugliest movie star you can think of? The ugliest movie star. Danny? Danny Trejo. Danny Trejo. I'd say Steve Buscemi's uglier than star. Danny Trejo. I'd say Steve Buscemi is uglier than Danny. I disagree.

How about this? You have to blow a Hollywood actor. Just one? If you had to pick between Danny Trejo and Steve Buscemi. You're saying blow one more.

Yes. Well, yeah, several in a row, maybe. But if you had to... Between Danny Trejo and Steve Buscemi, you would totally go with Steve Buscemi. I would. He seems like a gentleman. Danny Trejo's been in prison. That man's fucked punk ass. You know, I can't...

Maybe he'd be good. He'd make sure that I got to come too who's the actor that played general armadonna from galaxy i'm fucking 80 percent of this up but i think i can help me admiral adama was played by um fucking pockmarked mexican short man who also knows danny shrejo um what's his yeah he started out in miami vice um he's got like three fucking names edward james almost yes okay yeah sorry yeah so i think he's third on that list but he's on the list yeah he's and uh steve buchanan can we see a picture person? It's the pockmarked thing, right? It's really unattractive. He had bad acne or cystic acne or maybe bad chicken pox.

It looks like small pox. Does this feel slightly racist? But I think pockmarks show worse on darker skin. Yeah. That's why the bodybuilders get the tans, right? Because everything shows up more. Yeah, it shows the definition. I think that's a scar.builders get the tans right so because everything shows up more yeah it shows the definition yeah i think that's a scar on his chin yeah it looks like i'm sorry okay you can't use that picture of the guy like use it from i'm fine with that picture that's

not even that bad i wish you would show him when he was admiral adama if you search admiral adama boxing i think you'll get him at his, you know, what Woody and I can think of him as, like a 55-year-old. You know, this guy's not that ugly. I was being too mean. You need to look at him when he was in the 80s as the captain on Miami Vice when he was in his prime. He looked pretty good.

That's not the... That's not an ugly-looking man. I'm sorry. I'm okay with that. I'll sit on his lap. You find him more or less attractive than Steve Buscemi? I find Admiral... All right. Now, let me ask this.

Are we just talking about a man who looks like them? Or while I'm servicing him, can I be like, I'm not one of them. No, no, no. After he's done, he will answer any dozen questions you have holy shit so it's a blow job in an interview this i mean it's a little bit everything in there i mean i would take steve buscemi he's had the cooler career i think you might want to take yeah i'm trying to and here's the other thing here's the other thing i'm thinking too like like i bet i bet steve

buscemi is uncircumcised but i'm almost positive that admiral dama is cut because he's got to be like one of those uh like mexican catholics i think i'd rather give a head circumcised right uncircumcised guy i think here's me too no wait what no oh no no no i want here's the here's the thing i i've never given head in spite of all the jokes and i think it's much easier to do it to an uncircumcised guy because you can like jerk them off the skin works like you don't have to worry about a subject matter expert to succeed you're so wrong oh really how you just said what you just said was it's easier to suck an uncircumcised dick because you don't have to suck it. You just jerk it off.

Well, I'm going to do both. What am I fucking... Admiral Adama is going to be giving the orders around here. He knows exactly how he likes his dicks sucked. Am I going to reach my hand up and Admiral Adama is going to slap it away and be like, no hands? God damn it.

Yes. Who knows what their technique is gonna be but i promise you you will not be coming up with it on the fly you can't just imagine some better you see if he's uncircumcised i won't have to suck it he'll be happy with a hand job no this is what i'm saying i can just take the head in jerk him off and win at this thing as a kind of blow job even though i know it was a hybrid blowjob deep in my heart. I'm trying to get a mission accomplished here. More nerve endings, more sensation, gonna come

faster. He'll punch you in the top of the head and go, three blowjobs for flinching. Alright, well then I get like 36 questions, bro. I'll be like, you're sure. He's like, I have his dicks in my mouth and he's like again you said the question

i had to look at a hum the answer while you're doing it too i had to look up like list of ugly male celebrities to try and think here's another guy very he's funny but he's unbelievably ugly john c reilly uh do you remember him he's the guy who stars opposite Will Ferrell in Step Brothers. Yeah, of course. He's very funny, but he's very ugly, too. And so I think I would rather get with Steve Buscemi than John C. Reilly, for sure. I would much rather be with an ugly fit person or skinny person than even a decent-looking big old fatty. There's a whole

other layer to fat and hairy that i'd rather avoid how about gilbert godfrey would you suck his dick kyle gilbert godfrey will he shut up while i do it or is he gonna be he won't the whole time he's going to yell at you what's he gonna say taylor keep that goddamn dick in your mouth get those hands out of there i'm not answering questions unless you finish with your mouth deeper i love you i know you can do better than that i don't know what he's i can't remember what he sounds like i know that he's no you're nailing it wasn't he uh like iago or something was it Was he in one of those? He was the parrot, yeah. He was.

Was he the parrot? I'd ask about that. And he was also the duck for the insurance company. Not anymore. They canceled him out of that. Oh, yeah, because of the joke? Yeah. Wait, he got canceled out of Affleck for joking?

Yeah. What did he do? I don't remember specifically. Something blue, probably around women or gay people. Something blue? He's not a really dirty comedian. People thought really that he wasn't really. He went after a protected group, and they took his duck commercials away.

It sucks. But the duck kept sounding like him. Yeah. That's something. I feel like voice actors are more protected than they should be. Now, maybe, like you two are so good at impressions, you have an ear for it. But to me, you could swap Homer Simpson with 7,000 people

and I wouldn't catch it. Oh, I... First of all, Homer's voice changes at least... In the first 12 seasons, his voice must change four times that I notice. Like, not different actors, I don't think, just a different take on it. his voice must change four times that i notice like not different actors i don't think just a different take on it and then it sounds like different audio recording equipment maybe and

like a different it's like they moved to a new studio and tried harder it's like the early day like oh yeah this is the video he made you know before he got a good mic like like i don't know homer and there's changes and they're changing the actors the voice actors for rick and morty are they the guy who there's only one it's yeah now that oh is he the one that got canceled he did something bad i forget the details of it but he does he does rick and morty right yeah yeah that's yeah so they're getting they're getting like two actors to replace them right now that makes sense yeah yeah and i don't know if that'll cost more or less comes out in like a week for my untrained ear you could there's someone who can change every cartoon character like you

could you could replace them there are absolutely people who can do like no way on the impressions of everyone but like if you like i if you're on hulu if you have hulu you can go to like the simpsons and they only have like season 37 or whatever it is and every once in a while like an ad will come on for it and you can hear in homer's voice how old he the actor is like you know how as someone as someone ages their voice gets you can just hear in someone's voice on the phone how old they are you can just tell they're handsome and attractive and you can tell they're sexy you can tell that damn castle and that is quite the looker and then like you hear like the way homer talks and it's still 35 38 year old homer the character and he sounds like legit like because

he is like in his probably late 60s now and you just he just has an older sounding voice so which respect to to be going that long with a show that like your natural age reveals you out of your voice acting career like it's pretty impressive but also you know the rick and morty thing and i'm embarrassing this sucks so ben the rick and morty thing i think it ruins the show and here's why that guy wasn't just reading a fucking script that guy was ad-libbing all the time he had to be based on like what the show is if you listen to audio there's no way that that was ever written on a page like the broad strokes of course like but he's filling it in with all of this craziness and and and all this all this theories and everything yeah all sorts of ramblings and and just noises that he makes and and a lot of it it might be a burp but

there's some comedic timing that he's adding to it a little bit i know what he despises when he drools that's a that's a real turn off for him he gets triggered i don't blame you there's early on he does like a spit suck i don't like that that's that's one for me i don't like that when you let the snot like come down suck it back up a little bit gross you little fucker i think it's gonna i think the show is gonna suck i think the show is gonna start because the stories had been eh for a while it doesn't matter that that part of the team is still there the i think the coolest part the part that was still there was the guy who was being a little wacky and doing the goddamn voices that being said if i had a cartoon show there's no way unless i was the voice of the character that i would ever have an actor

do any of the voices i have a fucking algorithm an ai thing not an algorithm an ai that did it i'd have a button i'd have have a fucking Jerry button and a fucking Rick button and a Morty button and a Summer button. And I click that button and I type it in and I put the fucking dots in for pauses or whatever and I fucking italicize and I add sarcasm up above

that. You gotta be careful when you do stuff like that. You gotta be careful when you do stuff like that because that makes to be careful when you do stuff like that, because that makes it easier for other people to take it over. Yeah. You can replace everything like that. I think Kyle's motivation is the other side of that coin,

that he was at the mercy of no one. He got the profits. And I see both sides of that. If you automate it. I think AI is not there. Just take it over. Whenever I hear AI imitate anyone, like there's a popular one where like maybe Obama,

Trump and Clinton play video games together. I'm fouling that up, but it doesn't, not for a second. Does it seem right to me? They're all too fast. They're all a little off. It's close enough that it's very funny. Cause it's like,

Oh, that is kind of how Trump would say that. That is like, does sound like Obama, but like no part of you hears that and here's like the soul of a person putting like effort into an inflection for a line like and without that you're going to forget all the little things that make delivery funny like that if you took all the hilarious if you took louis ck's best stand-up and you put it verbatim into a Louis CK engine, that shit's not going to be as funny. It'll be funny, ironically,

to be like, that sounds a bit similar. But like, if that was the released content for his special, you'd be like, what the fuck is wrong here? So I agree with you, but that's not the bar that we have to meet. So I'm not suggesting that we write an algorithm that can instantly make an episode that's funny. I'm saying that we have a tool that gives us the voice.

It's just a puppet for us to marionette around and make. And we'll add those inflections just like we add pixels in Photoshop. Like, oh, let's spend three days figuring out how summer reacts here what what's what is her voice supposed to sound like here and but the whole time we're learning so next time it doesn't take three days it takes three minutes that's an interesting idea yeah i'm fascinated by the concept because we all know people are really sensitive to imperfections in sound if a video glitches you just look right past it if a sound glitches it's like what the fuck was that right sound

doesn't glitch in real life but people blink would massage sound be good like kyle suggests it can be or would it suck i don't know i'm just saying it'd be great if you cut those voice actors out who at any moment can strike like they're doing right now shutting everything down yeah we don't do voice actors are striking I thought writers were striking actors are striking all of them alongside the writers to strengthen the cause yeah that's fine whenever I don't think so that you know what actors are striking but I'm pretty sure no one's filming without writers. So they're striking in the same way that I am. So it doesn't really work anyway.

I haven't done any writing since Solidarity. So do you know what Strike Force 5 is? No. It sounds silly because it is. Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon john oliver and seth myers have teamed up for a new podcast as their shows have gone dark during the writer's strike five men one opinion tune in for the most boring status the whitest show on the internet be prepared to be given milk toast nothing takes from unfunny retards you don't think they'll go beyond their normal shtick and and and uh since you know they're out on their own but you don't think they'll risk

those clauses and their and their multi eight figure contracts you think they'll just be the same boring motherfuckers good little boys and to say what they're told nothing erasy nothing funny yeah i will not be listening to maybe nine those guys get paid like crazy i don't understand how the value that's placed on those late night hosts i don't get it because the numbers aren't i think it's a boomer thing who watches that shit like you could find a guy on twitch like right now who gets way better numbers than some guy that's doing late night with that one of those eight figure contracts i don't get it oh yeah why is that why is that

money worth so much more i mean there's still a lot of people there's no way streaming services and stuff there's still a lot of people out there is that true whenever i see numbers i think they're like 80 bullshit right it's like we're say, the number of views a video gets to the number of concurrent live viewers a TV show gets. And acting like that video got a lot more. That's horseshit. You know, look at the number of uniques throughout the broadcast and that number will go way, way higher.

I mean, do minutes watched. You could do apples to applesles on that but I never see Apples to Apples comparison which is the core of my point so recently Tucker Carlson and Donald Trump did an interview together and it broke like tons of records is it the most

viewed video ever? They're lying about that don't jump on the red side because it helps you you know they're lying about their numbers you know I agree and that's kind of the point i was making they're calling it maybe a 300 million view video i'm not sure and it's one of the yeah it certainly it hit a quarter billion views faster than any other video i've ever heard of in my life and it's not real views if you scroll past it that's a view it's impressions or something yes exactly exactly thank you you it's just and views. If you scroll past it, that's a view. It's impressions. Yes, exactly.

Exactly. Thank you. It's just, and I guarantee you, Elon, put it in front of that many people's homepages. It's a complete farce of an idea. It's like counting pay-per-views because I can count. It's like, oh, did you watch UFC 400? Nah, but I heard about it. That works.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm counting it. Yeah, yeah. It's the same thing. When they say this TV show is not probably watched, I'm like, I don't know that that Twitch live stream numbers are fairly being

compared. It's the same thing when you have these TikTok stars who have millions of followers, and then they'll go to a convention and have a meet and greet, and nobody shows up. You know what I mean? The views don't equate to actual following and actual stats when it comes to, you know, the real life situation. TikTok seems like the most flagrant with that as far as like absurd view totals and people not making any money and like,

Oh, this, this someone with like a hundred thousand followers on Tik TOK or whatever. Oh, they got 40 million views on a video. Probably not really doubt. It's 40 million legitimate start to finish views. Really they need to do a minutes watched. That's the actual, that would be a better equivocation of it. But when they have it set up like Tikiktok and twitter where it's like just do you know how many like videos i'll i can give a view to just by scrolling down like just through a page for a bit it's like i didn't watch that

if i just like if i just leave a video i there's a video i have twitter open right now there's a video of a fucking turtle in like a nature post. Like that was served to me in the, for you. Cause I like animal stuff. Sometimes how many views have I given this in the 40 minutes we've been doing the show? Like it's just running.

It's just running on auto. That's probably like 12,000 views that it's going to get over the course of the show. Like not, that's not real by the end of the show, four hours from now, I still won't have watched that whole thing, but it's still logging it. It still counting it's uh it's definitely not apples to apples it's still greg gutfield or whatever on fox news at the top

of like late night tv it says he has 2.5 million views an episode which seems pretty high is that peak viewership claim with 2.5 million viewers yeah that's that's tv talk that's how they put it um and then everybody else has like a million and a half and like dwindling down looks like interrupt for a second taylor you interpret that number to be peak concurrent yes yeah if they're saying 2.5 million i would say they're they're gonna they're going for peak concurrent at the absolute tippity top moment of the broadcast they had 2.5 million concurrent a lot though it is a lot and who knows like how many of them actually watched the whole program how many of those are a thousand tvs turned to cnn in airports like there's there's no but what

do you count that as well hang on if you that tv at the airport is one of the most powerful tvs in the world it has to be because forget those giant ones in times square nobody's looking at the airport though you've got a captive fucking audience i have sat and watched fox news intently in airports for hours before because it's all sometimes sometimes you're on the flight and you scroll through everything and I'd rather watch Fox News than Ant-Man again. So it's Fox News it is. Those are powerful TVs.

You don't fly Delta. You're talking about the on-board TV, not in the airport itself. Is that what you're talking about? Oh, in the airport. Oh, really? I've only seen CNN in the airports. Maybe NBC or something. I'll see something.

And the Delta terminals and Atlanta is definitely Fox News. Probably Spirit, though. Okay. Either way, though, there is like, you know, kind of a metric fight between legacy media and new media, because both of them want to act as though there are leaps and bounds ahead of the other and you know it's there are there are points to both and it depends on it all of it comes down to the demographic you're targeting anyway if you're targeting a demographic that's in like if you're if you're running pharmaceutical ads and you're pfizer uh yeah you're gonna run on cnn and fox and nbc abc cbs msnBC, because the viewership of those channels is so wildly old and your market that like, of course.

I would wager I would wager that they are very similarly valued. The one point five million that Jimmy Kimmel or whoever can get every night is about equally valued to whatever XQC does. I say that because I don't know what Jimmy Kimmel's contract is, but I bet it's about $80 million or something for the next decade. That's what XQC's contract is too. It's $100 million. As far as pushing a product though, I would bet dollars to donuts that XQC could drive more purchase. You should invest in him though, because the market has spoken. It's $100 million. Exactly. Yeah, Taylor, I'm thinking about that. So I don't know XQC. I can't comment on him. But I'm so influenced by influencers. If they do the thing I do, flying motorcycles, fish or whatever, I look at the things they chose to figure out what's good. And I know that that's the flawed way some of them are sponsored etc i disagree okay okay you have to be careful but here's my thought process and and this is one of the things that happened with the with youtube in general there used to be a time where you could

be the toughest guy that you'd ever heard of or you could be the best guy at softball that you to anybody that you knew had ever heard of and that time disappeared when youtube became a thing because now the best guys at softball all of the guys who thought they were the best uploaded videos and the guys that were the best saw those videos and said poor shit how much how much does a camera cost and eventually those guys got cameras and started making videos and now it just keeps propagating until you can find the best fucking softball player on the world from now on YouTube. You can find him because he's getting paid to do it. And it might be a good idea to see what kind of bat he uses

or what kind of balls he likes to practice. Because he's so accessible. He's so accessible. I can't get Tucker Carlson. I can't get Jimmy Kimmel. They won't talk to me. But I can go get that guy that plays softball, the thing I love the most. I can join his Patreon.

I can get in his comments. I can be like can be like hey man how did you get so good with that like like how are you seeing that ball whatever the fuck you want to know and he'll tell you that's incredibly valuable and so i agree influencers influence me because they're often the best of the best that are also kind of with it and hip i don't care what some guy on a mountain's doing regular commercials don't impact me because i don't see them very much but hypothetically if i saw charles barkley telling me which deodorant was good it would have a minimal effect on me however i don't know who's good at football right now but you know if the wide receiver for the seattle seahawks chose these gloves dude i don't care if he's getting paid to use those gloves he will only use gloves that he thinks highly of he'll just get paid by someone else yeah so the fact that he chose those

to pay him means something to me and if i was trying to get calls i'd grab them another key difference that like jumps out at me between like a jimmy kimmel or uh like xqc since that's who we're using is he's amaranth instead because i get to picture her then amaranth okay amaranth wait wait wait make it finster okay finster shout out finster because we know you're thinking about finster all fucking day amaranth has a hundred million dollar deal too it's then it's finster shits on one million yeah i just also do drop 30 grand on finster and one pop the other day just went boom 30 30k good for him i did it anonymously i'd rather you not talk about you're that chic the uh the thing you need to keep in mind about the influencer driving stuff, too, is someone like Finster, who's a big promoting myself and I go, hey, I'm Taylor.

I'm on Finster just sold me his channel. I'm going to send you to use lock and load this product that we made. No one gives a fuck about me. Everyone's going to unsubscribe. Everybody's going to tune out because I'm jumping onto a platform that exists solely by Finster pushing it. because I'm jumping onto a platform that exists solely by Finster pushing it. Meanwhile, if I was hired as the new late show host, like Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel is not the late show.

Anyone they want to plug in there is the late show because most people who watch it are watching it habitually. It's because they've done it for years. No matter who the host is, they're going to tune in and watch that. At least give them a try. at least give them a try at least give them a try and so that's why you can have this revolving door of these talk show hosts through these programs because they're not unique like in their own driving way they didn't really grow it they came in and they're sitting in the seat meanwhile you give me xqc's channel everyone unsubscribes right away they don't give two fucks about me because i can't use his platform in that way i find that matter though they're both both guys

are just as horrible to know as far as driving sales i'm talking about like you're going to be more likely to do it from someone who garnered a fan base over time they built it it's it's revolving around them they are the crux of it as opposed to oh we're taking uh seth myers and we're replacing him with jimmy kimmel that is not in fact is really interesting to me this like is it the platform or is it the person and uh so everyone knows i'm like a news and politics junkie a stats and stories politics junkie and uh tucker carlson lost his job recently and it will be interesting to see if he follows the path of the people before him like glenn beck and bill o'reilly who kind of became a lot less relevant if not irrelevant

or is tucker bigger than fox and at first it seemed like tucker was now it seems like fox is but the score is not posted yet we're gonna see how this plays out yeah like tucker is definitely a better example of someone with like a seemingly organic like big group around him than bill o'reilly because when bill o'reilly got nixed like he went in immediately into irrelevancy like he was bolstered by fox news no one is like so excited to get the new bill o'reilly book for the most part, unless it's pushed on a platform like Fox News. So actually, it's funny, you might not know, Tucker immediately was this big deal when he went on Twitter, and then his views just tanked and tanked and tanked until he interviewed Trump, which is probably more of a expose on how you know a newsmaker than what tucker is and uh tucker also wrote a book and it's not selling and they're acting like it's a big conspiracy

to suppress his sales but i think really he's just not on tv right now and yeah i mean most of these like politicians most of their like books don't sell a ton like they donors will buy a palette of books like they that's how that shit actually works yeah and that gets them on the new york times list and then and there's even a code on the new york times bestseller list to tell the the reader that they think that like while this is the fourth most sold book we think it's's not organic. I forget what it is. And the amount sold to get on that list, I think it's pretty low. They are allowed to put any book they want on the New York times bestseller list. It doesn't correlate with overall sales. It doesn't, it's not,

it's not, it's not, it is, it is a subjective, it's a, yes, it's a subjective list of what they consider the best seller. I've heard that before. It's not based on no no no it's not like this is the number one book of the week this is the number two book of the week like no it's like they can make anything in new york time bestseller that doesn't seem believable but it's like it's like music right it's like music, right? It's like the Billboard Top 100, even though that consists of how many, you know, records, well, or streams, whatever artists have, you still need to, you know, convince radio stations to play certain stuff to increase that number. So almost everything when it comes to that can be played with, right? It depends how much power of the record labels have or the book publishers have yeah and a lot of it is just about like with music with books all these things it's about framing like if you frame something that's wildly popular new york time bestseller list you don't think that means this sold a minimum of 5 000 books because there are millions of people who can

i'm reading about it and it almost i'm not an expert i'm only as good as this source but it seems like what taylor's saying is true but not the whole story for example like if taylor's book outsells mine by a couple thousand copies but mine sold across barnes and noble amazon real life something, then they might give me the boost above Taylor's book, who all the sales came from one source and it looks a little crooked. So it's not straight up. The point of thing I read is not straight up based on who sells the most. They look at some other things like diversity of sales to rank them. I mean, I would argue that's just a way to kind of muddy it. Like they're saying,

yeah, it's not really about how many books are selling. Really, it's called the New York Times bestseller list. Yeah, you just have to sell 5,000 books. Okay, there's 10,000 YouTubers right now who can do that. Well, but they don't have distribution in Barnes & Noble. Like who? James Comey, Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump? Like these big, powerful people whose books you want to push?

I can make an argument on both sides. Like on one hand, shouldn't it just be sales and, you know, stop complicating it. On the other hand, you know, we're trying to do an organic list here and we look at sales across the board and not just from one source. Maybe, I don't know. I think if they were doing an organic list, they would just say total sales. Then they're not, then they're not going to, they're not going to get the books on the list that they want to promote. Maybe. I started looking into this 60 seconds ago i'm not prepared to debate that's how that's how i am with so many things i'm like oh yes well

well see you're two layers deep now and i'm lost like i have a new topic okay i uh i saw this guy today uh he's australian and uh he's having a bit of fun with a new policy, I guess they have at their banks there, where if you ask to make a withdrawal, you know, hey, give me my money, they want to know what you're going to do with it. And so he shows up, and he's like, yeah, I'd like to make a withdrawal, you know, $5,000.

I'm like, okay. Kyle, can you do the voice while you're doing it please i really can't i really can't i just i don't i don't feel like you give me like just a little effort there you know just try if you can just the old college i think that's south african hello there on uh i'd like to make a withdrawal you know i'm here for it yeah a few dollar he does there behind the counter there, ma'am. There you go. That's a little effort. Yes! You're better than you think, Kyle.

And she said, what are you going to do with the money there? And he says, why you got to ask? Ask me policy, yeah? And he says, well, it's actually since you asked, it's for my ass. It's anal bleaching. They say I can get... See, I've completely lost it's for my ass it's it's anal bleaching they say i can get

see i've completely lost it now i've completely lost it you're doing great we're proud of you three three shades of anal bleaching you know for four thousand dollars that seemed like a good deal of a deal so just every single person uh he goes to multiple banks i guess somehow he must have deposited money so he could for his video i don't know but he gets multiple tellers and it's just one embarrassing thing after another that he's doing with the money um he's he's he's hiring a hitman he's he's paying off his wife just just whatever it takes but i thought that was a really sort of i don't like the way that feels that they need to know what i'm doing with my fucking money it's like well i was letting you collect interest on it and shit and but but not anymore um i'm

taking my money because i don't like your policy i've got a mattress somewhere or whatever whatever you do with your money since the banks don't work but yeah they want to know what you're doing with your money what are your fucking business is there a minimum to do that for them to ask that question because i know you're being if you're you know if they have your your loved ones at home at gunpoint and you're trying to take out a bunch of money sometimes i'll ask depending on the amount i don't nah like come on because it seemed he wasn't asking for huge amounts of money mostly it was i think he asked for 100 at one point. What are you doing with it?

What are you going to do with it? It's like $100? 100 pounds or whatever? Yeah, Australian dollar reduce. Yeah. Donating it to the Taliban. Oh, I'm sorry. Is that illegal?

It's like, yeah, it's illegal. You're going to jail. Yeah, that's insane. I'd never go for that. So I looked i looked it up again a few seconds of research it looks like if you take out more than 10 000 the banks are required to tell the government why they made the withdrawal well thanks for taking it upon themselves oh i'm with you banks have taken upon themselves to lower that amount to 2 000 where they ask you what you're doing with the money. You don't have to prove it. You can obviously lie or whatever.

Keep in mind, those are dollar-y dues. Not as strong as the American dollar. You might $2,000 like nothing. $87. It's not that big a deal because you can just lie. Also, it's another pet peeve of mine, and it's called the illusion of security, right? The same way if I say, hey, Kyle, is there a bomb on your luggage? That doesn't prevent any terrorist attacks. It does zero.

It's pretend security. It's security theater. I guess you can charge me later for lying with tsa official that's all i see it's like you've lied on a form so they can get you for that later yeah pretty much i see that yeah well you said your money was for anal bleaching but we followed you turned out you just bought lunch you don't need to take a look at that. That's not an Australian bleaching turnaround. That's a pretty brown asshole for someone who just spent $10,000 bleaching. It turns out he was just making really tick tocks in our expense.

Now, are you treating me, an Australian police officer, like a fool? You think I don't know? You think I can't see a bleached S versus a not bleached ass from one inch away? No? You think I can't taste the difference? You tell me, sick guy. Oh, my God. I imagine Australian police are kind of like ruder British police, but still no guns.

I think of them as more hippie British police. The British police, I imagine, is just real pieces of shit. Maybe not ruderish police the british police i imagine is just real pieces maybe not ruder like more ball busting like more like they've got to have the biggest inferiority of complex ever every time i see the british police on tv anywhere they're getting just bullied slapped around like like just made a fool of it made a mockery of people like run up and slap them in the back of the head and like run away from them brother you wouldn't have tried that 500 years ago a fat british policeman has no recourse he has none because all he's got is a fucking whistle

and a radio you can run up slap the shit out of him run away what's he gonna do blow his rape whistle running from the cop and he climbed up the roof of the building and he's hiding on the roof and everyone's like being a quiet around the cop not telling him counterpoint style i run at the same speed as a fat british cop. That would be bad. I don't even know if British cops are legally allowed to run. I think they have to briskly walk at perps.

Not in London. It's considered disrespectful. It is, yeah. You only have to go back six years and I've broken both legs in that span of time. I'm not that good at running. machete is like actively like benny hill chasing a cop around and it's like brits you got to give them something other than that like seemingly padded truncheon that he's like spinning like a goofball like in the middle of the road yeah at least give the british police their own machetes like that the sheddies here i'd be a

little medieval but okay yeah it seems to be years would have a presence about electric machetes how would that help what would it what would it do well you could stun the person with it be a stun shetty how about a cattle prod an electric spear dude they take that right away from you i i've seen the answer i it's an asian country like guns no no no it's not guns it's not it's really not because you can't go in somewhere and get a guy with a knife with a gun you can go in there and kill him but he can still lurch at you and fucking you better be the outlaw josie wales when you go into a little tiny closet with a man with a knife and expect to put him down before he cuts you. All right.

You better be quick drama, draw putting one between his eyes because otherwise shoot him five times in the chest. He'll stab you to death. I see where Kyle's going here and I'm on the same side grenades, right? You roll the grenade in there. I saw safe as can be. They have these sticks with like a hook on the end. And it's, it's almost like that thing you grab dogs with,

with the loop where you grab some but i've seen like two guys use those things and fork a person and they're fucked like it's it you're just fucked and they train these guys to use them uh there's like a technique to it and there's some teamwork to it and with these fork sticks they completely immobilize human beings who have knives yeah i. I think that's a good idea, actually. I'm fine with killing them, and that's what we do now. I watched a video last night. They've got a... Oh, yeah, the guy's running around with a machete,

hacking at people. Well, hear me out. Here's what happened. It wasn't that. It was kind of that, though. And there's gray areas to everything, right? It's an apartment building, multiple levels. Police show up.

The security guard's there. He's like, yeah, there's an old drunk guy up on show up the security guards there he's like yeah there's an old drunk guy up on sixth floor he's old though really skinny he's he's got a knife he went he went like this to me he's the guy's like what like this and for those listening he brandished the knife like stabbing motion back and forth and the cop's like oh i don't like the sound of that he's like yeah but he's old he doesn't mean he's drunk he's just being married he keeps saying that you know so they hop in the elevator and the cop's like so he's on the sixth floor and the security guy's like yeah he's like so let's get off on the fifth floor and then go up

the you know a flight of stairs that way we don't just open the elevator and surprise he's there and it's kind of a funny moment and the security guard guard goes, nah, man, he's I'm telling you, he's chill. Somebody presses six on that fucking pad and I got to go back and figure out who because when that door opens, there he is with the knife standing there looking pretty surprised because there's an elevator full of cops. full of cops they gunned him down before he could it was just and you could see meat hanging out of his like side a little bit like like fancy flesh and you could and it looked like this the life was draining out of his eyes like he watched that it was you watched him die right there in a split he just went and it was it was a little gruesome for me i didn't there are always multiple angles i just watched the first angle and got off that video because it was pretty dark people have knives and you have they died a video um there was an oversized

lady on a couch and there's these two officers who are talking to her and stuff like that and she's sitting down the officers are standing up her and stuff like that and she's sitting down the officers are standing up and uh you know they one of them says oh you can put your gun down or whatever and that and and uh they're you know they're telling her okay they're talking to her talking to her talking to her do you have any weapons on you no no no and they're having a nice conversation and everything and um they tell her okay you need to get up because we need to leave now so she starts getting up and um it it's uh one of the officers says don't reach behind don't reach for anything don't move looking like really fast she just gets up and stabs one of them in the head and everyone

just pulls out his firearm like boom boom boom takes her out right and i mean thankfully the guy who got hit the the officer got hit you know he's you're seeing it from his vantage point from his body camera and like he's bending his head over and you're seeing the blood dripping out and his partner goes are you good you're good he goes i'm good i'm good she just you know she just grazed me or whatever but it's like it happened and this was a large lady you know i mean like no fast reflexes or anything yeah and she just just half a second it took her to pull it out you're playing tag it's that's what you got to think about don't think somebody's gonna come beat you up think and how fast that might take although it's kind of the same thing if you don't if you've never trained or seen a fucking mixed martial arts match or like can't appreciate reality like a lot of i

don't know half about half the population i would say you're playing tag they will cut you open and if you've never seen what a sharp knife does to like a person it is gruesome i mean i don't know how many times i've been asked would you rather get shot or get stabbed and i'd rather run fuck away and like neither of those things happen to me but god damn it if i wouldn't rather have a get shot i think if it's just a full metal jacket regular if it's a standard bullet and a standard knife oh a big slashy wound over a gunshot wound i'll take the gunshot just don't shoot anything vital like fuck didn't we talk about this before when the guys were on the street and you know it's a regular after bar street fight and everything and uh this big guy is walking up to this little guy

and it's just this little guy just goes to the neck and then they start you know and this guy is holding you just see the blood squirting out everywhere and he's done you know what i mean and it's like the other guy that's still fighting don still fighting, they don't even know his friend got stabbed. He's done. Is he out of the fight or dead? Sorry? You said he was done. Is he dead or out of the fight? He died on the spot. I saw

a great one last night. Over on the Police Activity Channel, who should be paying me dividends, they do wonderful editing and they start off with two nine one one calls so you get so you know what the cop knows when he gets there on the scene you don't just pick up some random video who who is this you know what the you know the officer's name you know every you got context it's beautiful there is guy guy says hey there's an intruder on our property here he was sleeping in one of the

vehicles he's he's violent you've got to get him out of here you won't leave okay what's he what's he wearing tennis shoes shorts and a tennis racket he goes what the tennis shoe shorts and a tennis racket he's armed with a tennis racket yeah yeah okay so the cop shows up with a fucking german shepherd and he's got the shepherd at a big leash he's walking don't bring a tennis racket to a german shepherd fight don't so he's yelling come out you get bit come out you're gonna Gives him like three, four of those big loud warnings. Dude's definitely heard this shit because he's yelling back. Can't really tell what he's cursing. He's crazed.

You know, he's he's wearing tennis shoe shorts and a tennis racket. He's out of his fucking mind. And so the cop, the cop unbuckles that fucking dog and go, I can't remember. Pocking, maybe whatever he says. And the fucking dog is he let he lets the dog get a big running start because it hits this guy it doesn't just run up and like getting a fight with him it tackles this motherfucker and now the thing now the dude is on the ground fighting the dog and when the cop catches up he's going stop biting my dog and then i see the cop has the tennis racket

and he starts whooping this guy's ass with that tennis racket he's hitting him with the edge of it right in the face whack whack whack whack and he hits this dude in the face with the edge of the tennis racket breaking the tennis rack like like tears it apart hitting him in the nose and the mouth in the face with it the dog is also fucking the guy's face up. They destroy this motherfucker in like five seconds. Then they finally get the dog off of him and get him handcuffed. He's got a Mohawk and his whole face is just a bloody mask. It was wild,

but don't bite the police dog. Uh, that was the, or, or don't, you know, pick a fight when you're armed with a tennis racket i guess it's a great video with a tennis rack i like just thinking about that like hitting someone

with the side of a tennis racket is very funny as like a brutal way to to hit someone but like i was just thinking like if someone came up to me and was like what what what like wrapping me on the head with the side of a tennis racket i would like go in and if they were faster than me i would be like full-on panicking and like oh oh stop stop stop fuck man it's like it's just like it'd be you'd be bleeding because the edge of those is a little sharp and it's fiberglass that wouldn't be fun i i see like on his face there's a movie trope where the you know the dad bod 35 year old year old on athletic guy always grabs a golf club to defend his family. Terrible. Yeah. Terrible is my viewpoint too.

Isn't the shaft of it kind of weak in it? Like if I hit Kyle on the deltoid with the shaft, doesn't it just break and Kyle's not even injured. It'll probably just bend. Some clubs are aluminum and some clubs are carbon fiber, right? It might not be aluminum. It might be stainless steel or something. The metal clubs, like my experience, by the way,

is just buying clubs in fucking pawn shops and hitting balls in a field. So I'm no golfer. But the ones we bought were either metallic and you could snap those on your knee or they were carbon fiber. And it was tough carbon fiber and it was if it was tough carbon fiber the kind of like fishing rod tougher than a fishing rod like the best ones at the base like it felt real tough but down at the bottom i don't know i never broke one it felt like you could snap one like you're describing woody you wouldn't beat someone

with a driver like one of those like carbon fiber can snap a driver like you want to fuck someone up with like a nine iron yeah you can fuck someone up with like a nine iron yeah you can fuck someone up with a nine iron it's a good weapon you think you give it the thumbs up like if you it would be if it's what's your list oh yeah it's a low tier list weapon but if it's there and that's what i need if someone takes a tennis racket and i have a nine iron i'm oh i'm winning that fight nine iron beats ten one all, Taylor, I have a question for you. There's a burglar coming in. He has a knife. You have at your disposal a nine iron and a guitar,

an electric guitar. What are you grabbing? I don't think I can, I don't get it. I mean, I'm not a baseball player. I don't think I can get the kind of... They call it an axe for a reason, Taylor. I don't think I could get the kind of bat speed I would need from the guitar. You're a strong guy. Whereas, like, I could whip a... I could hit someone so hard with a fucking nine iron. Okay, okay.

That's what I would do, for sure. Because at first I imagined a cluttered hallway, close range already. That's guitar territory. But if I can, like, stand off like jean-claude van damme do my kata like fucking adjust my robe and then like kind of karate kick the ottoman out of the way just to show off a little bit like like like like i you realize you're not athletic enough for flips so you're doing like somersaults salts he's right there he's very slow actually

i think in open territory like that i would still take the nine iron um because but but but it comes with a problem and it's the one woody pointed out if if you don't hit them with the head of the club i think you could break the club or warp the club in such a way that it's no longer really swingable without like sort of being this silly thing that doesn't quite work anymore you lose a lot of your it doesn't become it doesn't work anymore so i'd take the nine iron in that situation but you'd have to be careful with it because if you don't hit them with the head it'll break on them on like a shoulder i think it'd bend around their

shoulder if you just if you were a dummy like they do in the movies and you just hit them across the midsection with the middle of your nine iron it just yeah just ruins your nine iron you gotta hit them with the head of the club yeah in the head yeah that'll that'll kill them like you hit someone hard with the club i'm trying to fucking put a divot in their face if i'm swinging at them i'll throw it at wolf your weapon is a pull cue and you're gonna swing it at someone you know i don't have to i said the word right it has it has two attacks a pull stick here are you wrong you're either... Okay. The heavy end, sure.

You would hold the heavy end or the light end? No, no, no. You hold the light end. Okay. You hit somebody with a light end. It's not going to... That would hurt less than a broomstick. I think I put more thought into this, just to interject.

Pull Q, you got to think of it like a weapon in a video game. It has three attack modes, okay? You can swing it. It has three attack modes, okay? You can swing it, you can stab with it, which I think would be incredibly effective. You poke somebody in the eye with it, you could outright kill them. And you could also

take that two-piece pool cue apart, and now you have a really effective club, and you throw those pieces of shit away. How patient is the guy who's trying to fuck you up that you're having time he's very we're preparing for battle i'll tell you i have an answer for you taylor he was so patient he he agreed to meet me in my billiard room okay or this fucking scenario that we're discussing he's over there juggling trying to pick which

ball will be his let me say i would take both my socks off if i had those double them up through a through a pool ball in there and then i feel like that's an even better weapon than a pool than the the stick prison talk coming out you know what i would do i'd take three locks put them in a sock with martial arts back in the day and like uh the quarter staff with one of my good weapons when i did martial arts um and whenever you know i do you know whenever i took girls on pool dates i do the twirly thing as i'm walking around the table to look really cool and stuff like that yeah cool my back and stuff do you wear the cowboy hat when you when

you go out like that do you whistle the harlem globetrotters music on your i do cartwheels when i play pool to look cool i throw it around i got i've got the trick where i you know goes around my hand and you know all that stuff but um yeah the best thing i mean if you couldn't screw it fast enough to using two of them like cambo sticks you know the the art that you've seen them do with the two sticks yeah that's probably the most effective thing you could do with it because you have the light one and you have the heavy one which is even more effective because it's shorter can i can i snap them with that like real quick and then

while they're blinded a little bit, club him over the fucking head? Yeah, it's literally like your fist, like a jab and a, you know, I like the idea in Kyle's lengthy pool room preparation, taking the chalk and making it loose so he can throw it at his

eyes. Oh, yes, dude, I've got a whole... Another blind... I do Bruce Lee move. Pocket sand action. eyes oh yes dude i've got a whole another blind if i if i'm using kimpo sticks and pool cue and and pool chalk to fight someone there's there's not a chance in the world i don't do some bruce lee noises like as i just to really throw him off and look you cannot say if you were a home invader, just imagine. I'm invading your home. You did not expect people to be there, but now you're being stalked by a guy who's making Bruce Lee noises.

And he clearly is armed with Kimpo sticks. And that would be terrifying. Yeah. Naked, naked. I would, I immediately stripped down and butter myself. All over. I get greasy. Upstairs, I'm not even joking. I'll go get it if I have to for proof. I have a gallon of silicone lube.

I could be smothered in that shit. You don't get to Kevin McAllister the prep of this. Where'd the club come from? Where'd the golf club come from? I don't own one of those you don't allow my scenarios no no i'm lubed up i'm getting greasy you know what i tell i tell her i'm like remember the movie where the guy's in prison and he's kidnapped like a fucking other prisoner or maybe like a war

a cop or something prison cop i'm already and he's tom hardy's naked and he's what does he say grease me guys he's like he's trying to get him up right yeah yeah he's forcing the he's forcing his hostage to rub his body down and smother it down with butter because he's about to fight an entire SWAT team like a riot team i should say like men with billy clubs and shields are coming he wants to be greasy because he's gonna fucking give a course know the gsp ufc legend oh he was greasy as shit and that's brilliant if so he he he got in the sauna pores open up in case you don't know you're sweating like crazy they they fucking smother him down with baby oil you get out do a quick shock of like cold water pours slam shut now you're hanging on to all that baby oil you get in the ring you get warmed up you start sweating

what's coming out of your pores fucking oozing baby oil you you you're naturally greasy for i heard vaseline but i don't know that i'm right and but what is it what's interesting he was fighting bj penn bj penn up to this point was one of the greatest grapplers brazilian jiu-jitsu guys in the history of the sport and gsp is like fuck you know i ain't gonna beat this guy but his grappling is my biggest problem so he comes out slippery as fuck wins the fight i mean there's a reason that bj so bj is on his back trying to wrap his legs up and around uh gsp's uh waist and he's trying to climb him he's trying to get into a position so we do a choke or a submission of some kind i'm sure or maybe just recover but the

whole point is gsp took him down and now he's in he's in his guard right like he was already on the ground like in, in trouble. GSP was going to fuck him up either way. Everybody had excuses for GSP. When, I guess it was Nick Diaz, probably, back then. He had all sorts. I think that's when he said that somebody had drugged him. Someone put something in his IV.

He said, the night before the fight, I slept for like 16 hours. I never slept more than six hours in my entire life. In for like 16 hours i never slept more than six hours in my entire life in my entire life i never slept more than six hours that's not true well that's what he said is this what gsp said or what nick diaz said nick diaz said nick diaz had so many fucking excuses he said there was bad air on his plane as if gsp had like uniquely good air. Nick Diaz, this is my favorite one, said no one told him, nobody informed him about time zones. So when he arrives at this fight and the time had changed

three hours, he's like, what the fuck? Now my sleep schedule's all messed up. No one told me. I'm just like, oh my god. Are you a grown-up? I'm okay with that. Now that I believe because... What dude this guy's never traveled before this guy's fought around if you're talking about well if you're talking about after he's fought all over the world then that's ridiculous for him to say that because he

has moved to japan he just fight in japan he like had to live there for some period of time for days or weeks yeah okay well then he's lying about time so i want to talk more about weapons we could fight people with in the home so if you were i was you made me think about the pool cue thing you and wolf were saying that you would go two hands i would not i would not i was just i was just being silly what i would actually do, because I try to be practical when I imagine my silly scenarios, whether it's funny or not, because if I were actually going to try to fight somebody, I think that I would be good enough at swinging one heavy thing

with my other hand free. So my other hand can do things like grapple punch claw scratch throw pocket sand or maybe just grab on and double hand this club i'm about to swing with so i'd want to get the pool cue in half if you don't give me enough time to unscrew it which is eight seconds tops i'll snap it over my knee which i'm fully capable of at which point now i've got a jagged pointy end rather than that is. That is scarier, yeah. Yeah. But if I burst into your pool room and you are standing on the opposite side of your pool table

with a pool cue, and you're ready to have that kind of battle, I feel like I could really do some damage to you just reaching in a couple pockets and then firing pool balls at you because think about that like you're ready to have a real fight like that and now you're getting pool balls fucking fired at you from six feet away i think i might rather have just the pool balls than the pool cue because you're gonna break that shit immediately i mean unless you throw like a

girl yeah sure yeah one of them even if you throw like a girl at six feet away you're gonna fuck somebody up with i wouldn't want a girl to throw a fucking cue ball at my head from i don't want anybody throwing one of the scariest things that ever happened to me was uh we were doing a this big like sleepover at a guy's house we like played paintball in the woods there's like eight of us and then we were gonna spend the night there we did spend the night there and his older brother showed up who's like even more hardcore and badass than the guy we came to hang out with and the guy we came came to hang out with was the most hardcore badass guy we know i mean he had a paintball field in his backyard you know and so and this guy's game was to play like tag with darts like real like darts that you throw like the real sharp

ones but there's no way to play that game except for single player and we were just targets and they're that was so scary i would have i was i was fine with fighting or like wrestling or like being rough housing or whatever but when he started hurling darts at people like a few of us ended up in a back bedroom in the basement like with the door like holding the door back against them it became a silly game but then like the way the room worked it was it was a finished basement but the ceilings weren't completely connected with the drywall at the top such that yeah he could sort of get up in and like throw darts into the room from the from the corners and so a dart would just hit the fucking floor next to it

and we're all it was scary every time i went that's actually really scary every time i went to a guy's house and again like like it was chad john scott and jacob cool dudes hardcore dudes the kind of dudes that do back flips off of the fucking swing in third grade like that guy they're great description in every case they're fucking older they had an older brother and that's the reason they were that kind of badass so so young and their older brother was always a wild man like he drove a camaro or something he like he drove a sports car or a motorcycle he did silly he had a dirt bike like he also did backflips but he did two backflips just off the the second floor of

their house then landed on a trampoline and just rode it out stiff legging like like mean mugging you that kid dangled me over a fucking balcony for the fuck of it just put a scare into me like you were michael jackson's kid i what happened to him now um i don't remember but i remember hearing a story here's how they scared us about him they told us that he had like and of course it's bullshit that he had hit a kid in the nose and driven that kid's nose into his brain and killed him that was but but but when that was such a common rumor of course every town's had that rumor when you're like 10 or 12 you believe that shit. His name was Don.

That was his fucking name. I remember now. Yeah, Don was fucking hardcore. Donnie Darts, we called him. He dangled me off a balcony like a child. And I had to be like 140 pounds back then. I wasn't a tiny 12-year-old. Yeah. You do sound like a child in this story, though.

Well, I mean, I was dangled. I was a child to him, for sure. mean he was he was a man grown i remember one of those guys in my neighborhood and uh he was you know the the big guy who's used to do all the craziest things and used to ride on a dirt bike and stuff whether he wasn't supposed to do he ended up paralyzing himself jumping off a local quarry cliff when he was trying to climb on him, and he paralyzed himself. It's funny you say that. My guy, not the brother, but the wild man that was my age, killed himself.

He got a Super Sport Camaro, and he'd only had it for a little while. It was a 1998 Super Sport Camaro. I think it's the last year they made them, and it had these bubble headlights. It was the only year that I remember that didn't have the sort of slit headlights on the side. They had these bubbles. And I love that one. It was black.

They said he was going in excess of 120 miles per hour and that he was not wearing a seatbelt and he hit a tree. And so it was a closed casket funeral. It was very sad. Right before prom and then the prom date made it about her now I don't have a date so then we all shit on her yeah she was

going through such an easy time oh you don't have a date anymore we lost our friend she didn't know it dude we ruined the funeral whole family well your guy uh somber at the funeral i mean was it the first time he jumped there jumped um i'm honestly not well no it was a popular spot he just chose one of the riskier areas in that spot like maybe he didn't like jump far enough to get to the water

sorry maybe he didn't jump far enough to get to the water sorry maybe he didn't jump far enough to get to the yeah i think he was drunk or something and he just didn't you know he didn't project enough or what have you but the guys like that in your towns were always the toughest and craziest for some reason that 99 of the time they don't reach a great end or they end up like you know the really big guy with the not so great looking wife and 10 kids and have a horrible life now so i just think you get a tougher dude when you've got brothers i didn't have any brothers um i didn't have like anybody to compete with that was my age or anything like that i'm definitely softer because of it like taylor grew up with

younger brothers so he got to be like he's always been a bully his whole life he's just been this piece of shit just looking down his nose at two younglings who weren't only physically inferior but you know they were younger they hadn't caught on he'd had multiple years of training and he multiple years of training is what i call it and being a human those early years are important an eight-year-old dominates a six-year-old in the in the realm of being a human that's using your philosophy kyle little brothers who are the victims or the older brother who's the bully like which one grows up for everybody's tougher for it because the younger brother has to fight a heavyweight his whole life

the the and eventually i bet in taylor's case he's probably had to fight a heavyweight his whole life the the and eventually i bet in taylor's case he's probably had to fight a tag team every now and then you know like once in a while yeah you know you gotta fight them fight them both back but it not only you know steel what is it steel sharpened steel i bet there's all sorts of mind games yeah if a lamp gets broken woody if there's three of us like like like the The three of us are brothers, not Taylor. Wolf breaks the lamp. What if me and Wolf agree that you broke the lamp?

Ain't nothing you can do about it. Yeah, there is, Woody. Of course there is. Just make our beds for two weeks. That's all. Then Wolf still broke the lamp. There is no fucking way I would make your bed. Okay. I understand that. I understand that way I would make your bed. Okay, okay, okay.

I understand that. I understand that you won't make our beds. I might lose, but you won't get shit from me. Like, that was... I understand your position, Woody, but let me make a counteroffer. You won't make our beds for two weeks, but perhaps you'll make our beds for one week, and

in addition, we'll break another fucking lamp and say you broke that one too well if i have an idea you know what and you smash a lamp on the floor right there look how clumsy woody was today well i'm gonna partner up with the innocent one break a fucking lamp and pin them both on you wolf is the innocent yeah that's not gonna work i'm the conniver you're the conniver you need to have dirt i'm mad about the last lamp you need to be like the way you the way you avoid stuff like this is i i remember like i got my youngest brother to like do stuff for me for so long and my my younger brother and i got my youngest brother to like and it was like little things like, Hey, uh, get me a soda from upstairs or go get this snack from upstairs or something. And he basically, the story with my youngest brother in like sixth grade or whatever,

my parents decided like, yeah, we're done with this school you're in. We're pulling you out of this school for the remainder of the year. And you're switching to a new school next year and my mom was like for the remainder of this year i'll just homeschool you my mom had no fucking experience doing that or anything and like she basically told him like here like take this book the adventures of tom sawyer and read this and like my youngest brother would just go in his room, which was a playhouse with Legos and everything and like just play Legos all day. And he made the mistake of telling me and my other brother. He was like, hey, Taylor, I haven't read any of the stuff. This is months into his homeschooling and he's done nothing.

He hasn't opened. He hasn't even opened the adventures of tom sawyer and he makes the mistake of telling me this and so then i'm like that's great go grab me a diet coke from upstairs and so like he and like after like maybe a month or two of that like me and my younger brother just all the time like just another soda a round of sodas for me and my friend all you have to do is read the book and so like it got to the point where he was like i'm sick of of you guys telling me to go get you sodas and snacks and we would just have to be like tom sawyer and then like in a way that like my mom could hear upstairs and he'd be like shut up shut up and we're like really you don't we'll

go get our own sodas but i'm gonna tell mom on the way upstairs about the tom sawyer thing and he's like what kind of sodas do you want it was great see we did a little politicking a little that's a little bit of model un in the home he learned if you're gonna cheat at school don't spread it around i didn't i didn't get to practice that kind of manipulation and bargaining and stuff and and it was all just to have him bring sodas to me like that's all we did so to be honest i don't think my brother would have done that to me like my brother and i had a lot of conflict growing up and stuff and i've lost many many fucking fights and grappling matches but when it comes to like ratting me out to my parents

yeah i think he was a loyal sibling in that regard you had that unified we wouldn't have told like we were bluffing like because we didn't care he wouldn't have blackmailed me he never blackmailed me my whole life like oh we did for sodas yeah yeah can i give you a weird topic for one second yeah yeah okay we're talking about that We're talking about stabbings and stuff like that. Has anyone here actually in person seen someone killed? In person? Yeah. Want me to give you a quick story?

Yes. Yeah. So we're shooting a music video in in uh toronto more specifically a place called woodbridge and we're shooting a music video for an artist called sean paul reggae artist and the music video is called let's uh get busy and um uh i hope my mom doesn't hear this because she'd freak out so uh we're we're doing the video and stuff and um uh me and a couple of the actors we're outside we're chilling in my car um if you're if you ever watch that video i wasn't in that but you'll see like both of my brothers in it my brother has dreadlocks he's the dj all that stuff um so uh sitting in my car we're talking about stuff

because it's a little chilly that day and this was a nice quiet subdivision neighborhood right woodbridge is like an italian area very cool quiet whatever so i'm i um a couple weird looking guys are on the set we had a lot of extras they were doing a basement party theme so there's a lot of extras you know we didn't you don't really vet everybody when you have extras like that and stuff so apparently uh someone went there because they heard someone else was going to be there and they wanted to try and set up something and i'm sitting in my car and everything and all you hear to hear is um a loud bang and screeching so i thought i don't know i thought someone from set maybe dropped something one of the light you know the light fixtures broke or fell on the ground or something like that.

See this kid walking towards me and just falls to the ground. Right. And young black kid. And we go over to him. You OK? You OK? And it's not like the movies. There's no blood spurting out.

There's nothing. No. You know, and i didn't even think of it right and i just hear someone's called call an ambulance call the ambulance type of thing kid was shot two car lengths away from me uh by someone in a black mercedes and took off and and uh he was pretty much non-responsive there in that freakiest thing i ever saw it was just it just saw the entries would yeah go ahead where was the gunshot and his body in his torso okay like a lung shot somewhere yeah but i couldn't see exactly where because he's wearing like a big jacket because it's cold outside you have one of those that's probably why you didn't

see blood i'm imagining a t-shirt where yeah yeah no no he was wearing you know he was wearing layers and stuff like that so again yeah that's why you didn't see anything right so you never found out why uh we found out later why that it was like a gang thing and someone came back to get revenge on a kid because they heard he was going to be on set no yeah it was crazy did you so you like watched him him just die there on the pavement? Watch him fall and die. At first, we thought he was drunk or playing around or something. And then he didn't move.

He was struggling a little bit, didn't move. Don't you hate that? Huh? I bet in the 50s, if somebody collapsed, everybody ran to help them. You know what I mean? Yeah. Our society is so fucked up that when you see somebody,

you're like, for real? Am I being pranked? Is Ashton Kutcher around here? No, I'm kidding, please. Yeah, yeah. It's just the weirdest thing. I can still vision in my head. And it's like, he was gone.

And it was like, you knowbulance got there and everything. And then police came later. We didn't even shut down the set. We kept filming. You know what I mean? I don't know what kind of video it was, but if it was like a hard-ass video, that could only add to it.

Like when the cops showed up and everything. I would want that in the house so if you're like if you were just i can just imagine that would make a great video quite the property dirty streets where i live every day and in the background wrapping the body up and just like damn that that video goes hard you've seen it so like after after he was shot like was it like the the ambulance almost got there or was it like oh we just called the ambulance 60 seconds ago this guy's dead like well no none of us are experienced enough this this happened a long time ago like a while ago like the late 90s so it's like you know we didn't have any training or anything like that to you know check for vitals or anything like that people just went you know they're checking

them are you okay or are you okay they didn't realize you know what i mean what are you supposed to do i would feel like but you're not supposed to move people with like neck things yeah that's the thing no one wanted to touch him because you don't know what's wrong exactly right yeah you feel like i'm just gonna make this roll over what you should do is you should get the fuck away from them because if you interfere in some way that that might if they if you interfere and then they die their family could sue they'd be like oh he would have lived if taylor hadn't tried to perform that fucking tracheotomy over there he stuck a knife my husband's trachea yeah don't worry i stayed at a holiday inexpress last night kind of sounds like there's nothing you could do that if you're an er surgeon that guy has that shot he still dies i didn't you asked about someone that died i've got a motorcycle accident

story but i'm totally helping nobody what's closer chick didn't die but i'm at something called an siv course this is a paragliding thing where you learn to deal with emergency situations and you know when you swing on a swing and you go really high you get that thing where the chain is kind of loose like it stops being tight and you sort of fall yeah that happens in these courses but to the extreme so anyway she's swinging and the wings go and get uh it goes wrong so she throws a reserve shoot and the reserve wraps around her neck and we're watching her come down on reserve with her neck just hanging in the lines of the reserve parachute how much she wet she was hot so 125 maybe she did the shoot open she's fine she's fine i'm calling it i don't understand open

like that the chute actually was oh yeah yeah the chute is fully open and my concern so a parachute is designed to open slowly there's this thing called a slider it's kind of a bird's nest and and you get kind of a gentle uh like relaxed opening of a parachute a reserve chute is designed to save your ass even if you're at a hundred feet that thing opens in a pow and i'm worried it's gonna pull her fucking head off but it's still attached anyway she was fine save the like rope burn around her neck she was uh she even kept going why she wasn't. Why? She wasn't a fatty. Yeah? She wasn't a fatty.

When you told me she was like hot, I immediately knew that you could, you could tie a noose around that chick's neck and drop her from 5,000 feet with a parachute and she doesn't weigh enough to kill herself. She'd be fine. She probably turned on when she got to the bottom if she's into that sort of thing. She's a fatty.

Yeah, yeah. It'd be like some sort of weird, like, you you know some people like like like a handcuff themselves up i saw i saw it the other day she's german i feel like that increases the bdsm so much hotter that that makes it more likely all those world war two countries that got bombed love it yeah yeah just all those guys wanted like someone to shit in their mouths for the next 30 years. It got real dirty after that. See, I don't think the Italians got bombed to shit as the Axis powers. They got Mussolini out of there real quick.

No, I'm saying that lines up with the theory. Germany bombed the shit. They all liked the bondage. Japan bombed. They liked tentacles and things. If we would have bombed the shit out of and things yeah if we would have if we would have bombed the shit out of italy we'd have a bunch of weird italians too what if your country was always a shithole like i feel like there's certain parts of africa and south america that

maybe dig bondage we just you just need to bomb oh it's always been shitty in like and so they're just into it. Countries like that are usually more conservative. More religious, definitely. Yeah. Countries like that. The harder things are, the more religious a group will get. Yeah. I feel like you go to like a Muslim country in Africa or the Middle East, you bring that stuff up, they're going to be like, no, we're not cool with that.

And we actually have a special place for you. I can't hear what you're saying with that ball gagging. We burn people like you in the burning hole. We plug a big hole and we put fuel at the bottom of the hole. That is so interesting. Get in the crocodile

pit. This is my cousin Taylor. You guys would think it was cool. It's like, no, go back to Germany. Crocodile pit. This is my cousin Taylor. You guys would think it was cool. It's like, no, go back to Germany. He wants to burn them. Everyone afraid of burning. Not crocodile.

I would rather be pulled by a crocodile. Tell me the problem. Tell me that you run into two fucking brothers in the congo two rival warlords first one caught even the other shows up and he's even scared in the second one he's taylor and he's got like a pet hyena like on a leash that's that's like fucking it's huge it looks like a 200 pound hyena and i captured you and i want to put you in my burning pits which is what i do with my whites and Taylor, on the other hand,

black Taylor, he wants to feed you to his crocodiles, his crocodilians. I would rather be taken by Taylor and thrown to the crocodilians because crocodilians, not a way to go. Crocodiles have one job and it's to kill things and they don't always do it the quickest. I know, but they're very slow slow if you could get your head in their mouth i feel like they'll do their best to wrench it off tear your jugular somehow maybe just outright break your neck and and hopefully they take you down in the water and just drown you okay i know that sounds rough but you haven't seen my burn pits you just haven't seen it don't you're there's a metal grate about eight feet above the

crucial question on this yeah you just dance down there and then you're most do you know game of thrones they burn that uh king baratheon's daughter i can't daughter yeah yeah yeah all right well they started that fire with her on the spike which which is a bad way to die. However, I might choose your burn pits over his crocodile pits if the fire's raging. If this thing is a 25 foot tall bonfire,

that might be the quicker death. What about when they killed What's-His-Name's daughter on Son of Anarchy? Remember? You don't know it that well. When they burn the pit? That's an anarchy. You? I don't know it that well. They threw her in the pit. Like a burn pit? That's an anarchy. You don't remember that?

Remember the weird thing where the guy was attracted to the transvestite and they were coming after him and they caught his daughter and they threw her in a pit and they set her on fire. He's going,

no, no, no. They threw her in a hole and doused her with gasoline and set her on fire. Yeah. Did the good guys do this? I do remember that. Bad guys did that, too.

That seems like a really bad guy thing to do. Yeah. Yeah. Like, that was a messed up way to go. That sounds really judgy, Taylor. Yeah. Burning alive would be terrible, but also, like, you are taking such a gamble with the crocodiles. No, you're not.

Because you're thrown in the crocodile pit, and so where you get bitten is going to be decided by the crocodile and they're gonna do what they do with antelopes they're gonna no latch onto your arm and they're going to tear your arm off no just a thought i think if you throw me a crocodile pit that's not i've got a five percent chance of getting out it's better than that. Here's what I do. I let them know. Look, I'm hoping that these guys don't have cable. I go into a Steve Irwin impression. I let them know that I'm the crocodile hunter.

And I do the whole bit. I steal his whole shtick. And I tell them, send me in there. And I mix it with Crocodile Dundee because they ain't seen that shit either. I tell them that I can make a croc hypnotized. Take him under my control. You send me in there.

When I come out, I'll have eight battle crocs under my control and I'll work for you, mate. Now we got the Australian. Yeah. I like some of the lion. Of course I can. Every one of his australian might just be mr in between

all the african people are just gonna be like why why is he talking different now than when he was begging for his life three minutes ago well it's because i'm having a stroke from high blood pressure stress from a bad to about to be in front of the croc. You hit me in the head right here with that nine iron, and I think it's called hematoma. You don't know that word. It's a blood leaf right here in my brain, and it's present on the silly part.

So I think this is all a joke. I don't think that just the impression is going to be enough. I think that you actually have to know. I think you have to know something about about crocodiles or at least i do though what i'm asking is they give me the the chance a fighting chance i don't want them to like tie my hands behind my back hear me out tie my hands behind my back and like shove me from like 20 feet up into a pool of crocs because it's death instantly i want to say send me in to do battle with them. Like, let me put on a show for you guys.

Do you want to see a guy get eaten by crocodiles? Or do you want to see a man fight crocodiles? I feel like I could talk them into like giving me a chance to fight. The burn pit? What are you going to say? Could you douse me with that kerosene over there? No, no. Oh, you're going to put water on me first.

I see. You're going to douse me in water before you throw me in the fire. You are. Oh, God. Why? Why? on me first. I see. You're going to douse me in water before you throw me in the fire. Oh, God. Why? Why? Is that fire-retardant gel? Are you putting it everywhere but my dick? You're just going to die looking like an idiot.

How did you get so much movie-grade fire-retardant gel? It feels good, but I know what's coming next. Yeah. Me, if you put it on my dick neck Meanwhile, you could be fighting the crocodiles over here With a pool cue You get fucked up so bad by crocodiles I know, but I'm telling you the alternative's so much worse There's not a third brother

Because you haven't stepped in and made a funny one yet Well, I'm Because I'm trying to think I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think of how we'd actually survive this. I think that would be good. You've got to do battle with the crocodiles and fight for your life. I always see that in movies. That's what I always see. They're going to

throw the hero in a volcano and he's like, dude, why would you want to see a man thrown in a volcano? You know what's going to happen? Nothing. I'm gone. How about you send me out in the jungle give me a five minute head start fuck i'm naked i'm bleeding you guys are badasses you come get me beat me to death i'll give a little tussle what do you get a bloody lip yeah spear me down like a man tell a story you scout me whatever you could totally talk your way out of getting thrown into a volcano by that if

i'm a warrior and we're about to throw in the volcano and you come up with that spiel you can if you call me a pussy if you're like god you guys are pussies there's three of you you got you don't want to take me on come on what you afraid to tussle with a muscle is that what you know what i thought you've never seen a white man before have you yeah you're scared you're scared aren't you kyle my method is even is even This is even more dangerous than the crocodile pit. You can burn alive, you can do the crocodile pit, or you can five minutes in the chimp closet. I would never go in the chimp closet.

You wouldn't go in the chimp closet? You wouldn't get me in there. I'd make you kill me before you got me in that chimp closet if I knew it existed. If you were like, all right, let's get him to the chimp closet. I'd be like, you'll have to make me unconscious right here. Wake me up later and throw me in that chimp closet.

I'm fighting right now as much as I can. Oh yeah, the chimp closet would be a terrible way to go. You'd be alive to experience having all of your fingers ripped off you'd like yeah you die without genitals you've like watched him eat your balls and your dick yep it's a dark closet it's a dark closet they got him in there with like rock music and a fucking what are those lights that flash over and over that's like a strobe light so he is pissed he's on an enormous amount of mdma i drop in there and start start vibing with him maybe what's mdma i thought that made you just tear my lips to see i don't think it would make a chimp cuddly i think it would i bet it they're all there in a big puddle okay it's a it's a coke chimp and he's no and he won't use amphetamines he just

like a heavy dose of amphetamines would would be a terrifying thing and it would work like like it would make a chimpanzee the scariest thing you could imagine plot twist all the chimpanzees just catch up on their homework and organize their spotify playlists on the adderall yeah they're talking to each other like you know i can tear off twice as many fingers in the same amount of time with adrenaline and amphetamines that would be and then put armor on him and like and and then you parachute them into an enemy encampment i don't even think you need armor on a chimp like they are already but doesn't the armor make it a little scary all right

not armor not armor but fit it onto their hands because gauntlets yes are you talking like let's not go it's like remember that the blades come from their forearms and over go go high enough over in like an arc like that thing shredder had shredder Shredder blade? So they can still use their hands. They're going to be reaching for whatever. But unbeknownst to them, because they're stupid animals, they'll be cutting and stabbing and clawing with the attached sabers that start at their forearm and sort of go forward like Shredder claws. I would like an army of those.

Man, I hope the Walking Dead scenario happens, because I'm going to make that happen. The Atlanta Zoo is right down the way. I bet they got chimps in there. We could armor them up, no problem. Dude, that's a bullshit zoo if they don't have chimps. Yeah, I don't go because it's sad. I genuinely won't go to a zoo

because I don't want to give them money to house prisoner animals. I don't know. If they had a rehab program where they put them out in some fake wilderness where they could pretend like they're in the wild that'd be one fun to see in the end i don't want to see some polar bear on some white concrete that's pitiful that is pitiful the st louis zoo has a polar bear and it's the saddest thing in the world

to see it like it's so hot it's so hot hot. You can look at it. I didn't know polar bears could, like, make facial expressions. But it's, like, looking at you like, I don't belong here. It's humid. I should be, what, on an ice cap hunting, what, walrus or seals. And walrus and, like, baby whales and shit. There is a level of humidity in the animal that i don't care if they're like the reptile house no reptile who's kept captive is upset by it at all they don't care

they're like this is so much better than out there yeah they love it they don't wait your son just works oh so i can have sun anytime i want it i just go out there and get it you've got 24 hours sun god i love my human overlords the birds like they got definitely like the like the birds is shittier because it's like birds you're you're stealing like the whole thing of like flying is such a big part of being a bird i imagine yeah like that they can't even do it that's a big part but at the same time to play devil's advocate like there's so many species going extinct it's like to to i don't know save a couple of them i don't know but does that help in any way or you know what i mean like it's like reserve a couple there because there's so many which one wait rhino they're almost gone now you know what i mean like it depends on how cool

the animal is like i'm totally on board with saving rhinos why because i can't save them i know but i'm saying the white rhinos like the the big rhinos the white rhinos are all dead they're gone i think but there's still a lot left maybe they still have black rhinos and i don't think there's a ton of them but we should keep rhinos around they're neat like if like hippos if hippos were going extinct we should hold on to hippos that's a really cool animal but they're not going extinct they have a real hippo problem in south america well they're really excellent they're good yeah remember um what's his name in um pablo escobar pablo escobar had a ton of them and apparently it's you know there's no lions in south america they eat them or like

fuck with them at all i guess it's good 20 there's just a jungle there so there's no dry season either it seems like they're doing pretty well even lions like lions don't want to fuck with hippos every video i've watched online they're real scared like yeah when you see lions attack a hippo it's like maybe a two minute process before the lions realize like oh this isn't going to happen like there are three of us on its back we're biting into we're biting three inches into a nine inch fat tissue area of armor and this thing is walking like it's a mac truck it just it can't be stopped they're so fucking powerful they run across like yeah they well they can't swim they they're because they're too heavy they run across the bottom like yeah they run across the bottom of it that's how they go so fast like it's i've seen

them catch up to speed boats i think i thought i saw one swimming really fast yeah i thought i saw that yeah it's so fucking scary to see something that big move that fast i think it's a little bit of both i i think it's i think it's a little bit of both. I think it's a little bit of both. I think definitely in the shallows, it's exactly what Taylor's talking about. They're so heavy. Yeah. And then like comparison there, like there are clips of hippos

being their like hyper aggressive self with an elephant. And then you see like elephants and just how much they dominate everything they want. Where like a hippo can run up with its mouth open and an adolescent elephant can just kick it in the face. Just kick it in the face and kill it if it wants. Did you see the elephant fucking with the rhino

and the elephant has a stick in its trunk? No way, really? You haven't seen that? No. They're facing off. There's a rhino, and I think the rhino has its baby, its calf or whatever. so it's pissed. The elephant's pissed about whatever,

territory or whatever, and the elephant picks up a fucking branch, like a big one. It's like, blowing it, and then throws the branch at the rhino, and it lands right next to it and freaks the rhino out, and it runs away. Then the elephant's like, yeah, you better run.

It's chasing it. It's awesome. So cool. Elephants are smart. Not only bigger, they're like way smarter. If you want to see the most heinous animal videos and they can see. Go on Instagram and you check out the dark side of nature

and you see the most insane animal violence. I don't like that what do they do to each other like it's i like that it takes that thing of nate like like freaking hyenas trying to take on a lion and another lion comes in and breaks up the fight and don't say that in front of woody he'll woody will freak out about that he he'll tell you the whole story about see that video with the lion comes in and beats up all the hyenas yeah but then you like realize how evil birds are to each other like they'll eat each other's kids like birds are horrendous they're cannibals or like meat like

birds oh for sure chickens when a chicken dies if you don't quickly remove it from the the the chicken house the chicken pen or whatever they'll start cannibalizing it right away like just pecking its breast meat off its body just it'll it'll be eaten up all over really quickly like like they're like oh you down bro because they're always pecking each other they don't fight back it's like oh really each other nom nom they're they're just disgusting little brainless fucking shithole animals but then i see the ones on tiktok right like calling up with a three-year-old and like seems like they know what's up the uh the only bird that i've seen that i should say farm animal bird like like i what i

mean to say is i saw this chick with a pet duck and it seemed like that duck had personality that duck was like running up like like shaking its little tail like oh i missed you all day like a dog and it like yeah it like runs up and like wraps its neck around the person kind of like doing a little embrace and the person little girl's hugging it and then it's like all right let's go in the house and the dog's like tail's wagging again chasing the little girl inside like they're best buddies yeah have you seen that clip of uh this woman like releasing her pet duck back into the wild what happens she releases the pet duck back into the wild and it is immediately assaulted by another duck and like pinned down and fucked like by because like ducks are notoriously rapey yeah very rapey that's how they're like orangutans that's how they do all their reproduction

i've seen so many videos where someone is releasing a wounded animal um or re uh rehabilitated animal back into the wild and then immediately mother nature swoops in and it's weird because i've seen it to some extent in real life i've never released anything and had anything grab it but yeah when i'd be dove hunting sometimes i would shoot a dove and it would fall funny and it would flop flop flop around on the ground a little bit and a hawk had seen that so quickly it just like out of nowhere and it's on that dove and it's got it's like damn he was watching the whole thing like i didn't know he was there but he was somewhere observing everything that had just happened because he hit the dove three seconds after it hit the ground

because so he had to be up there just fucking let it go let it go i want to yeah there's another clip this woman i think she releases a chipmunk, or maybe it's a guy, releases like a rehabbed squirrel or chipmunk, immediately picked up and killed by a hawk. Instantly. It didn't get like a foot. I remember that one. And they're all just screaming in the background and crying and stuff.

Yeah. They should really be thinking like a couple of hawk chicks are going to survive, you know, the circle of of life it's hard for the kids to see that though but yeah yeah absolutely it is but you shouldn't you shouldn't bring a kid to watch a a squirrel be released into hawk country like that's it's it's not gonna make it my cat's a literal murderer like she's like evil like oh my gosh like she will get a and she has this thing i can hear her when she's hunting in the house because once when it starts getting called out the mice will

try and find some way to get in and stuff and i'll just you know lord forbid she brings them up to the bed after she's but she doesn't kill them immediately like she plays with them and i'll find blood all over the place you know what i mean and it's like you they're pretty evil they're cruel yeah like oh i don't want to kill it yet i was watching tv the other day sitting on the couch and my dog toby who's a bernie doodle came inside and like spat a dead vole onto my foot and i was just like ah ah! Did you thank him? Good boy! Killed that vole for me, though. He'd been bothering me all week

up there just living in the yard somewhere. Good boy! Fuck me! A giant hole in your yard? It was a little upsetting. I didn't need that. He killed it. It seemed like I should tell him it was a good thing yeah i know my husky loves bringing home prey like she'll she won she brought home like i have a fairly decent sized backyard and sometimes rabbits will get in and it was one

rainy day she just came to the door with this massive jack rabbit in her mouth damn i said you are not bringing that in the house a couple and she just like sat on the floor with it. So I wouldn't take it away from her. This thing was huge, like three foot long. Yeah. But, and I remember. You know that thing where the dogs, they won't let you open their mouth. They have something.

Yeah. Like I was walking at one time and she does, you know, dogs are the thing they'll like hop and jump into a bush when they see something sometimes yeah and she did that and she brought up and then she came up and she was walking like normal and i just hear squeak and i go sheba what's in your mouth and she has she puts her ears down i said what's in your mouth and then she you know she's she's turned her head away from me so i go i i grab her i start bringing her jaws open and i look and i see two eyes looking at me i just let go i said you know what just swallow it swallow it get rid of it and she just starts barking after that like it was

like so messed up i felt so bad for the thing from little field mouse or something but sheba got to eat right but you know what hey in the apocalypse that'll come in handy so i'm not really mad at it it will yeah yeah it's good to have a dog i've been watching to do that i've been re-watching walking dead and it's so fucking upsetting that there's still it's like i'm in season five or six or so yeah and they're the main way they kill zombies keeping in mind if the zombie bites you, you die. If it bites you on the hand, we got to cut your hand off really quick. Your arm,

your whole arm. And that's like it, you know, because you can't really live without your fucking leg in this post-apocalyptic war. You're just a nuisance then. So anywhere, it's just a death sentence to be bitten,

but they're, they're still stabbing them in the head with pocket knives. That's what everybody does. And so anytime an overwhelming amount of them come basically more than we can if they show up and like quicker than we can stab them then we're overwhelmed and we got to run away or go to guns but guns are ridiculous because they're just stumbling people who can bite and it's why why do they never make some bite-proof armor because a good a good motorcycle outfit is fully bite-proof

like from the gloves to the helmet to the boots to the every bit if you're dressed to slide down asphalt you're you're bite-proof like you need that russian bear armor and i know that'd be hot but it's better than being eaten alive which is the alternative and then it's like man a spear would hit the spot wouldn't it like holy shit what if we had a what if we had a shield with a groove in it and the spear sat in there and i just headshot headshot what if i put a laser on the spear because it is 2005 headshot headshot like why are we even a boy with one of those like guiding things just anything yeah just dude that's what you honestly

that'd be fucking killer i know what i actually want like instead of a spear would be like a trident something that one but it's wider you could hit multiple at the same time if they're kind of like a pitchfork would be good more easily yeah you don't you don't want to get stuck in the head though pitchfork then imagine A little of a pitchfork on the end. Yeah, a pitchfork would be good. And that way, if it has inertia and it's coming towards you or something, I wasn't kidding about the laser sight. it's going to stop it on the little, the rounded part.

It's not going to fall through your whole spear, and you're like, oh, fuck, now I got half my spear sticking through the zombie head, and I can't break it because the skull's not rotted enough. Just like a little pop-pop, pop-pop. You want me to tell you something else before you head up because i'm a huge zombie fan i watch everything everything zombie related but one thing that it's really nerdy of me but i think is valid point one thing that they don't use in the apocalypse movies that would really happen in real life is mode of transportation and you'll always see horses and you'll always see you know daryl dixon and his cool harley

looking bike and stuff but in reality everybody would be using bicycles why don't you ever need people using bicycles in zombie movies think about it probably because like the people on the show are like no that's not cool enough exactly you don't want to be riding around on a schwinn bike with you know i don't think i would i think i'd want to be on foot i i know we were talking about like cities and stuff yeah having a bike would be helpful no i think we're talking about post-apocalypse uh i suppose sort of walking dead zombie style thing and getting around i mean i think i'd want a motorcycle with some storage on it well standby it's important are there zombies though yeah

yeah we're talking about a zombie i like cars man and i'm a bike guy but gas doesn't last that long oh does it last longer well is it all right i i know he means like a physical like pedaling bike like that yeah i'm gonna go like a bicycle wolf does i don't think that's what kyle said yeah well i guess i was using the walking dead fake scenario where gasoline lasts forever and we always find enough for daryl Dixon's motorcycle and our Hyundai Sonata. Ultimate car of the post-apocalypse. Look how clean that Hyundai Sonata is. 2008 Hyundai Sonata and the apocalypse started in 2005.

What's going on, Rick? What's going on? started in 2005 what's going on rick what's going on god the apocalypse is so much more boring after we lost our xm free subscription but remember what rick we don't have much water but make sure it's not as polished up nice and shiny we're gonna pay the bills and that show is already the biggest show on tv those fucking yeah like i'm i'm telling you keegan and his crew keegan the guy with the bat megan megan yeah megan and all the guys they'd be all on bmxs riding around like 20 of them all right so if we're in a world where and and and i think it is the case like i think if you want a car gasoline goes dead and so i don't know where you get more i don't know if there's a way to store gasoline where it doesn't go dead

and the same is true for diesel uh what would work is any kind of vehicle that was rigged up to run on propane you know a lot of city buses here in atlanta run on propane and uh you know you can get propane anywhere in vast quantities and it's easy to get to get it from you know there's facilities is what i'm saying woody and they're easy to find because it's like look at that gigantic white bubble of propane over there. So you could like, and it'd be easy to get it from the big tank to a medium tank to a small tank if you needed to.

I worry that it's dangerous. Which part? I don't know. I'm thinking the Mad Max scenario where like the warlords control the fuel supply. Might go down like that. I mean, there's just propane everywhere in the south you know like like those those tanks in people's backyards and there's propane grills everywhere

i don't know how propane accessories if you think about i mean think about it my house right now there's three uh of those fucking things of propane and i've seen those trucks that run on that like you just fucking screw right in. That would be ideal. I kind of like the notion that Kyle is in his school bus. Well, not the school bus, but the city bus. They make trucks, like a car, a motor vehicle

of normal size and capacity that runs on propane. You should be a cult leader. I would love to be a cult leader there's i would love to be a cult leader it's hard to get up you think you've got to make a charisma stat to get that uh to get that you can't get that charisma role because the enemies have too much of a modifier on them and there's gonna be it's too easy because it's not the movies for people just to blow you away and take all your shit because that's always option b so you gotta somehow initiate dialogue without them immediately

going to option b and then convince someone who apparently has an advantage over you because it's gonna never happen like in the movies where two people point guns at each other and then start talking that shit's never happened ever i can't imagine no somebody turns around there's guns pointed at them and they're losing no guns yeah everyone dies now or more likely everyone who has you know those people with less guns die the people opt to talk die yeah you don't be talking to anybody you know so the idea of getting a cult together like you might get a i don't know it'd be so hard to trust anybody or about any fucking thing because you're all in the same scenario where you know what it's like you know you know you'd lie

you know you'd lie if you played enough daisy to know that i won't last i will trust someone and it won't work out well yeah i'll think i've made a friend and then i'll be in a stew pot before long i'm on my knees and he's asking me to squeal or he's going to take all my things and no you don't want to eat me i'm disgusting i think there could be a scenario where one man met another solo man and we could come to an agreement um and and i could believe in, look, it's hard without somebody watching. That's very Last of Us of you. It'd be like, man, it's hard to watch your back, you know,

when you're out here on your own. Look, I don't have a whole lot of shit. You don't have a whole lot of shit. I don't want to fight you. Do you want to fight me? Not really. Like, especially if the big guys hurt or something. And, like, maybe we can talk this out and work together.

I'll look after you. And that's ideal but i can't imagine me and my boys coming along upon like taylor with a skint knee and a big fat backpack full of we don't know what and and he's got his like he does he doesn't have anything in his hands man it's gonna be hard to even start talking i will talk but it's to find out anybody else around here before we get started this scenario out in my head where like i find a thickly muscled survivalist with a gunshot in his deltoid and i nurse him back to health thinking that we're going to be a partnership when this is done meanwhile i'm like that girl that dated the guy all through med school and when he finally

starts earning he trades me in for somebody better god damn yeah you're the miata that he got rid of for the beamer yeah you need to have a skill set that makes you essential which is something i rapidly find out like yeah that's why i don't's like accents were worth so much more pre-apocalypse yeah damn now people should now they're just upset and they're like you're not helping and it's like why are you why are you even saying this to me i am helping so much and they're like stop pretending to be an indian guy and carry the water jugs god this guy's been an absolute nightmare from sun up to sundown every day i would just really appreciate someone like just to watch my back while i slept or someone that that like had

another skill set that i just didn't have at all and like i know some stuff like i know where a lot of guns are stored like i know where like like i know where i know where the guns and that you've seen walking dead are stored right now like i know where that company is and where it's located here in atlanta like i have to lie like that guy who is like uh he's i don't remember what his fucking name is from walking dead but he's like i'll work for the virology department of the united states certain that that is not within our operational capacity shit like that and like i would just i would get like three sentences in and they'd be like how do electrical outlets work and i'd be like that is not relevant to the discussion at hand they'd be like but eugene knew that see like eugene knew things like that he was a very um like

jack of all trades kind of guy there was a very, like, jack-of-all-trades kind of guy. There was a time where they make a water filter really quickly out of a water bottle and sand and dirt and pebbles. And, like, you know, you start with small things, go to big, make this, like, makeshift water filter just to get the particulates out before you boil it. And she's like, yeah, Eugene taught me this. Like, Eugene was the guy who knew when they needed to repair the solar uh thing like what parts to look for and you know he was he was the bullet bullets too yeah yeah now i'm like an amateur i know how to do all those things that not not the not eugene knew some advanced stuff at metallurgy stuff but like i just know where to get stuff i know where some stuff's held what's the what's the most prepper stuff you have wolf i have i have food stores i not you shouldn't be talking about

this because prepper that's all right no one watches rules are not to tell you i got shit exactly hypothetically i even get now i'm getting stuff to review on my youtube channel and stuff like that like someone just sent me this ultimate match that never goes out or something like that. Like this product. And I, you know, I've got like several 55 gallons of water set up. I've got gas masks, as you just saw. You know what I have? I've got a whole bunch of stuff.

And it's like clothing that makes me zombie proof. Sorry? Yeah. I have clothing that makes me zombie proof. We said that like... Clothing that makes me zombie-proof. Sorry? Yeah. I have clothing that makes me zombie-proof. We said that right. We said that in your absence, that motorcycle get-up is zombie-proof. Yep. Yeah, you can't fight through that. Yeah, but it's like... But it's funny because, you know,

when COVID came and, you know, people were running and getting toilet paper and getting masks and stuff. I was the guy in my family, like, the lockdowns happened, like, March, I think it was, over here. And I said in January, I sent a text. I think I still have it on my phone. I sent a text because I had, I already have, like, several boxes of the masks. And I said, you guys need to buy these now for a box of 20. They're $9 at Home

Depot. Go pick some up. Right. And they're laughing at me. Oh, Wolf, you're always doing your weird prepper stuff and your weird, you know, saving water and all this stuff. And, you know, I had that prepper wet dream come true where, you know, all the lockdown started and everyone ran out of toilet paper. And, you know, the mask went from $9 a box to $50 a box. And, you know, it all went down and everything. And I was like, everyone was panicking. I was still home in my house chilling with a whole bunch of soap and gloves and stuff like that. So I think I have almost everything. I've got generators and a few other like that so i i i think i have almost everything i've got generators

and a few other things that i can't say but you know um for a certain amount of time i can hold out and then for when i can't i you know hopefully got enough skills to take it from people who don't know i don't know i don't know you got to use your tactical skills for good when you become a cult leader of Canada. Right. When you depose Trudeau and take your spot at the reins, what is that mask you were holding? And is that like a chemical mask? It's a full-on gas mask. And there's different filters you can use for uh depending

on what you need for uh the filters i have are pretty strong it goes from anything from tear gas to nuclear fallout right and uh this is just a random one this is not one of my good ones i just use this for show when i do reviews and stuff i actually have a quote on my channel for getting these gas masks but these are pretty good that you can run around your place and not they don't fog up and everything when it gets humid outside and i have a more tactical one where instead of the full face it's got the two eyes type of thing and that's a little more tactical per se so i have these i have these a cooler, pretty much more intense. Is it like, is a filter for nuclear fallout? Is that, is that kind of like a duck and cover thing? Like, like if you, like,

how, how are you like, cause if it's fucking everywhere, I feel like you're, you're dead anyway. Right. Well, it depends because when it, when you have fallout, obviously you don't want any ashes on you or anything like that. Yeah. But you know, you're going to go out, you can't just use a mask alone. You're going to need a full on suit. You don't need like technically a hazmat suit. You just need like a really strong body suit, you know, duct tape, wear on the gloves, all that stuff. And a few other tricks, iodine pills,

to make sure you don't catch anything. And you know, certain, and then you're going to have to, you need a cleaning station for when you get back in your house. So if you get to your house, you need a cleaning station at the front to wash all this stuff out because it's still radioactive. Somewhere to store that stuff or get rid of it. And you, you know, clean your mask and all that stuff and then change out the filter and start from scratch again when you have to go out again. So there's a whole process to it, like a boot changing station to make sure you don't track stuff all over the place and i have certain stuff for me and the kids and i even

keep uh i even keep a bug out bag in my car with with a gas mask and uh other stuff in it in case like you know something hits toronto i'm on the highway and my car goes dead from the emp and i gotta walk at home i can put on certain things i keep my car my gas mask and the suit and walk home if i even give a skateboard in the car so i can get home faster but the emp goes off like think of how fast everything goes to shit no internet no news no communication with your family your friends like everyone is instantly atomized and separated like it would go mad in instantly instantly and you know what covid taught me a lot about human interaction and how quick people will turn on each other and it's like remember uh supermarkets only carry enough food for three days that's it you know what i mean like people keep thinking

you know you're watching movies and you go to go to go to the supermarket like look at how quickly food ran out during covid like really fast like the you, it's stuff when the shelves are empty instantly. And you know what I mean? It's scary. And it's like, and 90% of people don't know how to take care of themselves, you know, when it comes to stuff like that. And I'm not one of those paranoid, paranoid guys, but I'm like, you know, I was fine in my house for a good amount of time, not having to go anywhere and not, you know what I mean? Not worried about anything. I don't remember COVID like you do at all. I remember a shortage on toilet paper,

but otherwise, I just had food delivered to my house. If you were lucky. Everybody was lucky. How's that going to happen? I was talking about COVID, though. I feel like you're like, hey, you know what? My printer thing really turned out to be you know money in the bank when covid hit and i'm like really i just used a bidet and had fucking luxuries delivered to my house all the time he just used

being rich to solve that whole thing it wasn't an issue if you're if you're rich you know what like he said it's a joke and i get it but if it's if being rich solves the problem it wasn't an apocalypse it wasn't even a real big problem no no no it wasn't even close to an apocalypse i mean covid was just like a a quiz it wasn't even a test you know what i mean like it was like a bare minimum of what could happen and people all everybody it was just a toilet paper shortage and there was certain foods you couldn't get there was some meat you couldn't get there was the trucks were running behind and stuff like that there was i remember um certain medicines you couldn't get a shelf that held my dumbbells that was slow in shipping that was probably my biggest COVID sacrifice.

That's devastating. I was mad. Meanwhile, people losing their jobs, having their lives destroyed. Just use DoorDash, dumbass. Again, I'd never compare that to a a real apocalypse scenario but at the same time like

like i just watched how people treated each other overall and it was like you know people fighting over toilet paper in the lineups and and you know getting big bottles of water and and people fighting with about like there's like bottle water shortage at some point in certain places and yeah and it depends if you're by if you're rural or by cities like it is crazy right like i remember like the blackout in the late 90s and people living downtown toronto in 40-foot buildings had to come down the stairs every day to do stuff right so like when you're a prepper or an you know amateur prepper you take all that stuff into consideration and try to plan for the worst and i mean you look like the crazy guy on your block but at the same time you know if i'm running on those plates and you know training for

certain things you know it's like i know one of my neighbors are like oh if anything happens i'm coming to you you know what i mean so it's like like I said it's it's I I was uh when I was first selling these gas masks and stuff I was like okay all this stuff that you have in your house not gonna matter if you can't breathe you know what I mean like there's weird things like that that people don't think of and it's like I've always thought that it doesn't matter if you can't defend it you know because you have to start with a gun or none of the other a gun or like a hide a hole to hide in like you've got a bunker where you can be self-sufficient live underground and you're just down there in some sort of silo or something and i know people who have systems

like that with air filtration enormous systems stockpiles of food and energy down there people it yeah it's up in a place. You know what that is. Millionaire crazy people. But it all goes back to a guy. You know what else he has? Stockpiles of ammo. He owns a firearms company, you know?

So like all that shit to defend it. A firearms company would be very big for the apocalypse. You're probably strapped. And I want to get back to that. Just realize we're having so much fun chatting. We got to do the ads, folks. This episode of PKA is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com, pharaohdistro.com.

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Is he talking to me? You're like, you've got like your key fucking centered over there with psychedelics and stuff and focusing on being better. Like, why would Kyle offer to pay for my health care? Not you, motherfucker. Not one of the people who have jobs, would he? Just you really, anybody I know who's, I guess, having a hard time, honestly,

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Is that the last one? Yeah, that's the last one. Wolf, are you still single? That's a complicated one. What the fuck was that? Wolf, how many girls do you have? How are you guys doing today? Every time.

That's great. You've been great. So you probably don't want to talk about it. Hold on, hold on. We don't want to delve into all that then. We were talking about something earlier. My man man spinning plates i had this is one of the things i keep in my uh collection for

apocalypse you got some canned potatoes there i see you got some uh you think last for a good amount of time and i get a whole i've got a whole bunch of these the main ingredient subterfuge yeah that's 100 ounces of potatoes that probably don't taste good no but at that point who's gonna care right like come on and one of the things i say about prepping is don't buy things that you're gonna want i love those misdirection brand potatoes yeah yeah they're filling um i when i when i thought kobe was going to be bad i bought like a ton of rice and beans um but then quickly found out it was just going to be annoying and not necessarily bad like you'd still be able to get chilies delivered but but they fire you if

you didn't like do exactly get the shots and wear the mask like i was okay with all that because you know woody didn't fire me and i got the shots and wear the mask. I was okay with all that because Woody didn't fire me and I got the shots and it all worked out. The best part was that my prison sentence ended in October. We were already hearing rumblings about it by

maybe November, December definitely right around then. We were taking it super lightly. I still remember November, December, definitely right around then. We were taking it super lightly. I still remember being like, I'm like 2 out of 10. This is going to be a 2 out of 10 event. This is nothing. This is going to be another swine flu,

bird flu, fucking the media is trumping up to get some ad revenue and then... Do you remember Ebola? We had a bet on it. Ebola seemed like it was going to take over the world and I think I won with zero u.s deaths maybe if i recall it's yeah it's a little worse than that continent i'm sorry and you leave the continent like it didn't really get over here did it north america uh i think i think what he's talking about it was like a news story about ebola here or something or an outbreak or i think someone came over on a plane didn't die and you know and yeah

it was a train derailment of the week you know it was all discussing and trying to figure out if it was going to poison us or not and whether we needed to do this or that and uh every time it's always been nah you shouldn't have worried about it they were full of it and then it turned out they meant it this time. But it turned into Mad Max. It just turned into a more boring version of us. Yeah, it turned into that. Listen, you have to stay inside and play video games.

You know what? All right. Dude, I played so much Tarkov during that. Bro. Left lots of ways. I played Apex Legends, I think saw it's one of the most played games of all time it was like i think it peaked over a million players at one point yeah it's still really popular it got super popular is it balder's gate that everyone's playing balder's gate i don't know about the the

the they're really happy that it got so many um players because they were expecting like 150 000 concurrent players and they've gone over a million so it's and not only that i i think it's the highest rated video game of all time i i think it really has metascore record now i think it um above like that zelda game or mario game or whatever some stuff that i don't really play and i started gaming again i saw you're on uh doom eternal i i didn't know i showed anyone but okay show me i guess i did you're right and i was watching yeah i i dude i've watched the intro to that game a hundred times half the time it makes me cry i just love the idea of like help we need you the only the devils have come they're unlocking the

spawn of hell i'm ruining it we send to them only you rip and tear until it is done and i'm like fuck i gotta buy this i gotta buy this i bet you that's what i'm playing nice it's great um the the the expansion the dlc for it's really good when you get into a groove and you're like rotating through the weapons and sliding around and stuff it feels feels really good uh that's a beautiful game to play too uh i like the combos that you get into like i said when you're when things flash you're able to like go and get them and do something awful to them and they're so hideous to begin with that they really deserve the awful things you're doing and you're doing funny things you know you're like tearing its tearing its horn off and like shoving it up its ass or something

it's always something silly if you don't know doom the mechanic is like you hurt it by shooting it and he flashes and then if you kill him with a melee he lets um i think health and bullets go i'm not sure i've totally figured it out so what you want to do is finish him with the melee because you're constantly low on bullets at least i am so uh when you kill him with the melee the animation is amazing like kyle said like you rip his eyeball out and you feed it to him until he explodes or you know like you're you've got a a knife that comes out of you like your wrist it just extends you poke that thing through his temple and you rip it out and it's really gory and i don't think you can get hurt during this animation at least i haven't yet yeah you can't and you can string them together

so you can be like warp to a guy pull his eyeball to another guy pull his eyeball out warp to another if you because you sometimes you hit an area of effect attack so everything starts flashing and you're like oh i'm in trouble now you don't even have to wait for the whole cut scene to go to go through you You can just... What game is that? Doom Eternal. What happens to me? Because I'm not very good.

Is that like the extension of the original Doom that I used to play? Oh, let me explain the timeline. So right from scratch in 2016, they made Doom 2016, a whole new game with lots of new mechanics uh with with some platforming mechanics with a different backstory and with uh with some really cool effects that they add to the game okay and uh it's a great story you're on mars i think they find you in like a sarcophagus like you're this eternal um like enemy of the demons who's being awoken who's been discovered and accidentally awoken the way i remember it and they're trying

to destroy you but you're just like right from the beginning you're like fuck you you're not gonna kill me and like break some wrist and tear out of your chains and it's like oh you've put my armor right fucking here you dumb bitch and you like get ready to fucking go and then you conquer mars and um you completely like kill everything on mars and i think you go to hell through mars kill everything down there come back to mars and i think you tear like a chunk of mars off or something with a castle on it and fly that shit back to earth so when would the broadcast that you're picking up in woody's game which is the sequel yeah you're here you're hearing earth like being murdered like civilians crying out for help like somebody please help us ah they're good please we need a savior and like you're showing up with your chunk of mars with a castle attached and you're like you're like out on the parapet just like all right fucking loading your shotgun

getting ready to go. And it really leads well into the second game. And the second game adds newer, more fun mechanics and new weapons. And at one point you fight this Goliath that's as big as like the Twin Towers and you're having to like take its limbs off one by one. And it's a really fun game.

It's very satisfying. The enemies are great and the weapons are all fun when you switch to your shotgun you're not like oh not the shotgun you're like every one of the guns has a fun like alternate firing rate or ability that it can do this gun could be a machine gun or it can have heat seeking missiles or it can be a sniper rifle like what do you want it to do and you can do all those things and tech into them really fun game i've played if you've played the very old one the original one like i have yeah then you get to see like oh i remember that floating eyeball monster now it's reimagined for 2020 something and there's all sorts of details and movements that make it it's fantastic like oh

i remember there were like barely make out that they were Wookiees or something that threw fireballs. Now, these are motherfuckers. Like, you're ready to kill them. It's cool to see them. It's a really good game. Let me tell you how old of a gamer I am, because me and my friend Andrew,

my friend Andrew back in the 80s and 90s, his dad was a computer teacher way back in the day when computers first came out, like the late 80s and stuff. And we used to play Duke Nukem and Doom on two computers, like multiplayer. And like that, like I just remember going through all the Doom levels and the final battle in that big room and stuff like that. And Duke Nukem was, I love Duke Nukem. Like that was so cool. all the the doom levels and the final battle in that big room and stuff like that and duke nukem was i love duke nukem like that was so cool and giving a stripper money and show her boobs on the game and stuff like that takes me way back right but it was like but to hear that's continuing like

i i didn't know if it would be good or not so that sounds like someone might actually check out that sounds dope i think you might like it it's 40 at the moment oh that's great it's tremendous uh i highly recommend it you could start with the 2016 which isn't as fun because it doesn't have as many mechanics but then you get the full story but you're just fine jumping right into the the the newest hottest thing with the best graphics and the most mechanics because the amount of story you lose could be caught up with like a 10 minute youtube video and you'd be extra pumped because it strings all the cut scenes together you know there's not like a week worth of like you're like oh yeah a cohesive story in 10 minutes that i can get behind and remember i was like you know it's kind of nice to do that's cool really good game

i've been playing a ton of balder's gate which is a whole different kind of game i won't go into it because we've talked about it a bunch but it is incredibly popular and it's become such a fucking time sucker sucker yeah i just started playing dark and darker with my son like that's a it's like a dungeons and dragons game okay and you're like in a underground and you gotta if you die you lose everything i played that all right that's been an early access forever i play i don't i don't know what version's out now i played about eight months ago yeah yeah yeah hard that's a hard thing bro yeah like and it's i don't know and they just reset it like yesterday i think so everyone starts at level one can i lay it out real quick what it is um

so it's an extraction dungeons and dragons so tarkov has the the extraction part where you go in with your gear that's your gear and if you die they take it now it's their gear and they can take it out and keep it in their stash back home this does that but with wizards and clerics and barbarians and shit dungeons and dragons and so you go in with your boys trying to get in and get out maybe you just want to grab a sword or something but a bunch of skeletons and bats are fucking you up you see a bat and you're like bro step aside i'm barbarian level three the bat's all mine and the bat's just like blinding you you've been blinded by bat now you have syphilis and it's like wait what other party members are disgusted negative two yeah like wait wait what and then all of a sudden real players show up and and they're one of them's got a crown on that

glows and the other's got a staff that's on fire and they push our shit in so fast and you can tell they're not going to take any of our bullshit gear like i've been on this the other side of this before but in tarkov that's what my experience was i played for three days probably put eight hours total into it had zero fun because i got bullied bullied all time eight hours of bully i went in with like friends who are also as am they play games but not this game yeah um and bullied yeah yeah like you like i'll be walking around like with no shirt on and a barbarian access like half crack cracked and and then you know we're killing a couple skeletons here and there and then like some wizard comes around with like sparkles everywhere and shields and like takes me out with one freaking spell and

it's like lose everything done like it's we were battling this guy ever we were battling we were battling this guy and in the middle of the fight he sat down indian style and got a workout and he starts fucking fucking flicking through that book right there. And we couldn't get to him fast enough before he read some shit that killed us all. It was just like, bibbidi-bobbidi-boo,

fuck all of you. Close that bitch and we all froze and now you're brittle. And he was like, perfect, because this is the acts of brittle breaking and just they are fucking assholes it was just yeah it was like like it's so unbalanced he like went to loot all your bodies and he's like no no no i don't even want your money i get back he literally wouldn't have taken my shit like maybe my lock picks or something you know

those games where you lose everything when you die are discouraging. I don't like those as much. So as an entryway into this game, they give you a gear set to go in with that you seemingly can lose infinitely. And it's like your level one gear set. All right, I got a hat and a sword if I'm a fighter. I don't remember exactly what it is,

but your wizard's got a fucking staff. You just get the shit you should have have but it's all level one shit and you can run into billy badass out there just like in tarkov but in tarkov you can run out of shit like all right nothing left oh they don't give you base stuff in tarkov you can run out of everything though like no money no inventory that's still a business somehow you start with enough to do would you call it five raids i'm not sure it's hard to say you know like like there's you've got a few kits that'll send you in with like a pistol with a couple mags full and like not not really any armor but some light shit so that a shotgun won't kill you outright like very light.

And then you got, like, oh, I got, like, three rifles. Okay, those are heavy. I could put on my one helmet with my three. So there's different amounts of considering. There's different geared levels. So you can go out maybe a bunch of times lightly geared or a few times heavily geared. Very quickly, if you were to die 10 times in a row like and lose everything you had and every time you went out you were trying to go as geared as you possibly could

you'd be pretty broke you'd be kind of nothing now a lot of streamers will just delete everything from the start because if you're if you're okay at the get i could do it it would be annoying but i could do it it would just be frustrating the frustrating part would be getting heals because if you get killed in the game, then you go back to your stash, but now you're injured because you just died and you've got to heal yourself.

But if you don't have any way to heal yourself, then it takes your money. You're like, okay, pay the nurse to heal me. But if you don't have any money or any healing devices, then you just have to go into the next raid injured. Oh, Jesus. Bleeding or with a broken leg. And so maybe you go in limping. And in raid injured oh bleeding or with a broken leg and so

maybe you go in limping and in this game when you have a broken leg it's like real life when you have a broken leg slow you barely move because because every time you put any weight on the lefty it's just excruciating so it's just creep creep creep creep are there npcs in it oh yeah that will kill you almost instantly if you bump into them if you bump into one they've gone through great lengths to make it hard to tell if an npc is an npc oh really there are players who look just like them and the npcs do weird things like run and slide to a stop and turn the other way and you can be pretty sure that an npbc is an nbc if you play a lot but yeah it takes a while it's not like a where you can tell easily it was it was it was probably 200 hours of that

game before i before i could like at this point when i i can tell especially when i'm playing like if i'm playing every day i can tell 90 of the time what's going on whether it is or not just by the the way they move or the way it sounds and where they also reckon after a while you recognize their the the the the false things that they do to to imitate people you're like oh that's the fake run that that the bots do That's the fake weapon check the bots do right after the fake one. Bots loot dead bodies in this game. And you're like, that's real player behavior. That's messed up.

Okay. They have, and there's tiers of bots. So normally you're dealing with these tier one bots. Again, don't bump into it. But if you're going in and you're experienced, you kind of mop the floor with them, like SEAL Team 6. They don't see you come in. You're just silenced once in the in and you're experienced you kind of mop the floor with them like seal

team six they don't see you come in you're just silenced once in the head and they're all gone but then you'll run into these higher tier uh guys who are like bosses like boss characters who will often have a support squad with them and they are they are uh like like an an area of magnitude it's it's it's a magnitude more powerful it's not like oh these are level two guys these are level three guys it's like these are level 50 guys we've been dealing with level one guys who had 100 hp this guy has 1500 hp he has a backpack full of healing items if he gets hurt to run away and heal himself all of his all of his all of his boys are popping stimulants so they're

all hyped up and crazy they make no noise when they move and the the their ai tells them to stab you with poison as quickly as possible it'll be shit like that we'll see them and recognize their character model and you'll hear somebody call out the name like sanitar is here we immediately back into corners and close doors in front of us like aiming at a closet door like a woman in a scary movie because that's the only way to defeat them because when that door they'll phase through the door a little as their character is opening it yeah and you just aim where now you can tell where their head is through the door and you're just because one headshot won't do it five won't do it if you don't have the right ammo they are way more powerful than anything you ever deal with but when you kill them it's often really

good loot so you get into these crazy walking dead scenarios in that game where i might come upon a scenario where three men fought the boss and there's one of them standing and he has a pile of gold in front of him basically but here i am all fresh and clean like not a speck on me and i can hear him breathing blood in the bathroom and he can and if he uses the med kit then it's a he's locked in a 10 or 12 second animation i can if i hear him start that i'm coming for you bitch i'm opening the door blowing you away so he might be faking it click click click click but he cancels to see if i'm coming for you bitch i'm opening the door blowing you away so he might be faking it click click click click but he cancels to see if i'm yeah he's just testing because he's not sure if i'm out there or not there are these my but then i might speak in voice and be like bro

there's a lot of loot out there how about you heal and uh i'll uh let me know when you're done i'll be looting out here and when you're healed up i leave with what i've got and they'll be like yeah deal like you make deals like that yeah yeah and just kind of split what we got your deal 100 of the time i've never told a lie in that game i will never like tell a straight lie to you if you if i say i'm not gonna shoot you i will not shoot you 100 of the time never lied it's good you have to have a sense of honor i have done things what i will do is say hey hey hey you come here come here come here come here. You want some apples?

Here, throw some shit on the ground. When they bend over, go, boom! How you like them apples? Because I never said I wasn't going to. If you said to me, if we come out, are you going to shoot? I will say, no, I will not. When you come out, I will not shoot under any circumstances unless you shoot first.

But I was just being an asshole. I was like, hey, come here. Look at this. And they come over. It's their fault. You're like a despicable Johnny Appleseed. Just going around murdering people. See, games like that I can't get into because people are going to be so souped up by the time i get into it like they'll

be playing for years like you have like i wouldn't even stand a chance where a basic game like apex legends everyone's pretty much on an equal footing and all have the same weaponry you know what i mean so it's like i tell you it's like a division the division or division two like i started playing the divisions a game where you're running on new york and you got to build up your arsenal and all that stuff and shoot people and i i was really good at the division and then i went on tour a paintball tour for like three weeks and i came back and everybody i knew was like completely tanks in the game so every time i tried to do anything i got destroyed immediately so i just stopped playing that game you know what i mean so i don't yeah i'm not up for that, you know,

stressing myself out for a game that I don't have that much time to play. So that's exactly, I played the game for a year and was awful at it. Like always getting bullied and would be so discouraging because a big part of it is going in and scavenging, which is honestly, which is my favorite part when I envision The Walking Dead. It's like how fun it would be to go on the adult easter egg hunt where a can of ravioli was a huge find like kind of fun to scavenge through an old grocery store looking for chicken noodle soup i like the idea of that yeah and you do that so much in this game that but i but i would be like

man i'm just a walking pile of loot I'm just waiting on somebody to catch me. And that's what it would be like because I would lose every gunfight. So I started just being sneaky, just being a rat. So when I hear people coming, I'm just like, I ain't here. I ain't here. Just walk on. I'll go prone. I'll lay in the grass on my belly.

All my belly in the grass and hope they walk past me. And they will because nobody expects you to just lay on the fucking ground none no i'll bet oh we'll beg we'll plead all sorts of things we've made people squeal like a pig we've made people do awful things in that game see that's fun that's that's like part fought people before. We make two friends fight each other to the death with a weapon we provided. So you're like the Joker with the broken pool cue. There's only one

opening. You give one of them a crowbar and you give one of them a knife and you're like, winner gets to leave. Winner is also going to be killed. Oh my god. Because I'm gets to leave that's the winner is also going to be killed and i'm really high on a nerd rope it would depend it would depend how well he fought whether he was actually spared or not at the very least i'm probably going to break his leg. Because that's so funny. Can you like a Roman emperor?

Like up or down? Exactly. We've done that so many times, dude. So many times. That's hilarious. Absolutely. Because you can catch people and in VoIP, you can tell them to disarm. Like, look, bro, there's four of us and we'll all start talking.

Yeah, man, I'm over here. I'm over here. I'm over here. Like, we got you fucking surrounded dude give us your shit you can go but of course they can't go we just want their shit it's just like in the movies like we just want your we're trying to take your teeth away so we can take everything else away and have a little fun while we do it you know and that's what tarkov can become if you like really grind at it. Rust can too. In Rust, it's even more likely.

Well, actually, in both games it is. Sometimes you'll find an item that is key to your future survival, and getting home with it means not only you possess it, but you learn to make more. So it's like, not only is this a med pack, like the good one, like the one everybody wants, I can learn how to make these if I can get it home. And then my whole med problem is solved. i'll do anything you say mister do i need to stab taylor

i hope a french accent we must like whatever they want i'll do it when i'll call a duty is getting artificial intelligence to uh check watch the uh what do you call it the chat rooms right they have ai is going to be now monitoring voice chat to see if there's bullying and name calling and stuff happening so that should be interesting oh they're gonna find bullying and name calling you know they hired me as a consultant i would have been like yes there is you will you think people are being mean online and it's like shut up pussy i'm sorry you hired me modern world warfare 3 they're gonna say you know the ai is gonna be monitoring what you're saying

and look out for certain words and do you think that might just be a scam no i think it's legit i thought on ign or something like that that they're gonna initialize it i hope it fails and i hope that i don't play call of duty anymore i saw today that you could buy a homelander player model like you could play a homelander you can buy nikki minaj you can play as nikki min. And you can buy Snoop Dogg. There you go. In what game is this? Call of Duty. Warzone. Call of Duty. Now, do you guys watch The Boys? Oh, yeah. Big fan of The Boys.

Because there was a part of the game in Warzone where you could use some of their powers. That's Nicki Minaj. So you could find syringes and inject yourself and you could have Homel syringes and inject yourself and you could you have homelander's eyes to take out people and jeff bezos has so much money he's like hey i called duty uh i want to like my superhero star the guy in there he's got laser

eyes and shitty superman and we put him in your call of duty game that's what you do right video games and shit kids yep yeah i guess How much did you say, sir? What? Yeah. A fucking military shooter and they've got a white supremacist going around with laser eyes. Can you turn off? He's an asshole. Can you like turn off these

visibilities if you want? Do you just have to fight a bunch of Nicki Minaj? I'd be so mad if so right that to me and cod imagine you were laying there prone sniping and ben homeboy showed up behind you put his boot on you and lasered your eyes out of your head right i took out a chopper doing that it was what am i playing though it's called dude yeah it's not really on i used to get mad about noob tubes booty i hear you but i can't imagine we're

laserized publicly you know and then i would use them you can't just look across the whole crowd i assume and laser everyone at one time you're really loud for like three seconds i just don't think it fits the the brand i just think it's off brand and it's it's this whole other thing it's pretty much right i have less commitment to to the brand. But if you're like a military shooter kind of guy... Yeah. That's Snoop, I think. I'd say so.

He's got a special gun, too. Is he leaning back? That is terrible for him. They've got his voice and everything in it. Oh, shit. He does a bunch of voice acting. Yeah, he does i i don't care well this is kind of this is kind of fucking dumb like i don't care either but like it is funny to

be like like hearing the voice lines i'm sure it kind of is move out get the b flag and then you see like fucking uh macaay Culkin, you know, running across the way in his Home Alone outfit. Oh, did I read? You know, Sergeant Price, right? That's the guy with the mustache. Yeah, yeah. I think I read that Henry Cavill was going to play him in a movie.

Oh, that'd be crazy. I thought he was pouring all his effort into that Warhammer series. I mean, you know, I'm sure he's he's he is henry cavill will have a fall i think he is perched up like put on this podium uh this pedestal is looking for thank you he's put on this pedestal as the greatest guy right everybody loves him from his pc building to his PC playing to his gaming to everything. Have you seen his interviews on the Graham Norton show

or whatever, that British big popular night show thing? I've seen that. You can tell he's a nerd and I like that about him. I love his straight face. Yeah, they're figures. And I play a game called This and That and the way it works is he just won't even fucking laugh

at himself at all about it. I love it. Yeah. You know I'm Henry Cavill, right? Yeah, I play with my figurines. Real popular game. I'm not hating on him. I just feel like typically when someone is that elevated to this is our hero

that you find out they make one mistake and they was superman yeah they get what comes to mind chris pratt was like the guy that everyone loved i was like i i will watch a movie just because i want chris pat to succeed at life and then he said some christian stuff or republican stuff or something and lost half his fan base yeah but we'll get some perfect example of that though right well we'll have been losing he'd been shedding it for years man look that jada stuff what we knew about that stuff for a long time like like if you if you were on the internet you knew about it and you followed it like like the

whole thing with the the son's rapper buddy and like he's always been soft kind of but like i love will smith i love his fucking movies i feel bad that all this happened to him. I don't mind that he slapped Chris Rock. No, no, let me take that back. I understand why he slapped Chris Rock. He just exploded. Look, every now and then you get mad.

It was funny. It's misdirected rage. Like, man, you should have smacked that other motherfucker. You should have smacked that ball-headed bitch next to you. You should have smacked that goofy-ass, bad-acting son of yours. But you know what? Let's go. You should have smacked whatever producer you pimped your teenage daughter to

so that she could sing that song, Swap Your Head Back and Forth, which is about getting fucked when she's 11 or 12 trying to make her a pop star. They fucking rolled the dice and forth, which is about getting fucked when she's like 11 or 12 trying to make her a pop star. They fucking rolled the dice and said you act and you sing. And it's despicable. That whole family's nasty. Wife's real fucking sexy, though. I liked her since she played Nairobi in that Matrix sequel.

I always liked Jada Pinkett's hair. Before the hair thing. I liked her in Demon Knight. I've never seen that. Demon Knight, Demon Knight. Demon Knight. It had the guy from when the demons came around. They were in this little hotel, and the demons started coming to the hotel.

It had, oh, what's his name? I'm not going to remember, of course. But that was a good. Oh, and Gotham. Zach nailed it. So Gotham is like i heard about the wb network or something like that but it's uh like the small it's it's the batman prequel so you've got a lot of the people that you would know from the batman universe but batman hasn't happened yet

um and and so she's in there uh i don't remember who exactly she plays but she's very sexy in that too she's probably got a way it's hot bro jada's hot don't sleep on yes i agree always has been very hot and woody always had the stance and i agree with it that like well you know who's to say what the real relationship is maybe they got like an open relationship where like maybe she fuck maybe it was fine that she slept outside the marriage because he does it a lot too but the real problem was that she was so close to home with with who she did it with like maybe that was the whole problem to begin with can i add on to that yeah a lot of times people in these open relationships it's like you know an essential part of how this works is you don't embarrass me and that's where she went wrong like

everyone knew she fucked that kid i can't tell you who will smith is fucking but i bet it's somebody or a lot of people but he didn't embarrass her i bet there's a masseuse somewhere that could tell you some tales yeah i bet so just like john travolta i remember that you leave him alone god damn it he's hey you know his wife and his daughter come on leave him alone his wife and his daughter what died died oh tragically really i didn't know that man owns a 747 that's pretty cool and he knows what he wants in a massage it would be pretty cool if it was at an airport somewhere but it's really fucking cool because he lives in it i was on the house yeah you jacked me off 747s in his backyard in a hangar with the rest of his craft aircraft

that guy i i love john travolta um i i i've always thought it was really when you hear about how tarantino had to fight to get him in pulp fiction sort of revive his career uh i always like travolta and and from paris with love it's probably the last time I think it's really good really good from Paris with Love is there's like some spy shit going down the American embassy in France or something and they send John Travolta's

goofy weird like CIA killer ass over there and he has this buddy cop kind of thing going on and I don't want to spoil it please straight lace partner from paris with love there's a part i'm not going to spoil it where you remember that scene in pulp fiction where they accidentally blow marvin's head off yes in the car there is a scene that is equally no there was a scene no i think it's worse bro it tops it there is a scene

that comes out of nowhere so it doesn't even spoil it to tell you that it's coming because you don't know when it's coming and you won't know when it's coming. But somewhere in that movie, I'll say 40% of the way through maybe. Now I know when it's coming. I mean, roughly, you know. No, you still won't know.

There's so many crazy things in the movie, you still won't figure it out. You won't see it coming. You'll have no idea. Just out of nowhere, boom. Ah, what happened i actually shot marvin's face off or whatever the fuck you know and and it blows you away and you're like what happened what happened and everybody in the it's great it's a very good

movie it's an action it's an action movie like don't expect uh it should have a sequel too i i would be fine with a sequel because his look in that he's bald i love that him embracing the baldness like get that shit off your head bro you look fine bald uh you look you look better bald than with whatever like don't do that steven seagal shit uh you know what i mean like that that doesn't that doesn't pass that doesn't pass muster i can look. I can see right through that nasty shit. Yeah. What does Steven Stegall do?

A mixture of things. So there's definitely a hair piece going on at this point. But early on, what he would do is he would color his hairline in with like a marker. And so there's a famous time when he actually stepped off the set into the water and they didn't warn him because they hated him. And so he comes out of the water and his hair's running into his face because he's magic-markered his... See, there you go. Yeah.

Now, there's no marker to be seen here, but on camera, when he's able to... They marker him off. He looks terrible with the hairline. Have you heard... Oh, he looks great there. He looks terrible with the hairline. Have you heard... Oh, he looks great there. No, no, the hairline.

Have you heard any stories that have been told by Rob Schneider and Kenan Ivory Wayne and stuff? I don't want to brag, but I'm pretty sure I know every single Steven Seagal story, and they're amazing. If you have any that you like, they're all good.

The one about the guy choking him out, making him shit himself. The one about how he would always hit the stuntmen. He'd hit them for real. He was known for that. Michael J. White almost knocked him out. Lots of people.

Lots of people almost did. He broke Connery's wrist. He He broke Connery's wrist. He broke Sean Connery's wrist. What a dickhead. Connery doesn't want to learn something for a James Bond movie or some shit. Connery told the story on The Tonight Show.

Maybe to... It doesn't matter. He's like, he was teaching me a bit of Aikido. You understand, he's a master at it. The man is 6'4". 250 you understand he's a master at it the man is 6 foot 4 250 pounds if he's an ounce and in a moment it snapped my wrist

and they're like ah I was about to fuck him up like I almost did Barbara Walters weird wild stuff but they just let it fly and it's like wait he broke your fucking wrist that sounds awful but yeah he's an awful human being i remember uh you know he has the tv show obviously or he had where he was like a sheriff's

deputy yeah in new orleans yeah and he he fought crime so they would just like pull people over for no fucking reason and and steven seagal go rough him up a little steven seagal go up there hey let me look at your eyes, bro. Let me look at your eyes, brother. Let me see if you're high. You doing this? You doing that? They're like shaking people down for Steven Seagal's TV show.

It was ridiculous. And there's multiple seasons of it. He's like friends with a sheriff or something. So they made him a real deputy. Can you imagine getting arrested by Steven Seagal? I'm not trying to copy. There's a bit. There's a whole bit about this.

I'm not trying to copy it. But I can't believe you didn't know. Maybe it's Tom Seagal.'m not trying to copy there's a bit there's a whole bit about this i'm not trying to copy but just i can't believe you didn't know i'm maybe it's tom segura you never seen the show tom segura has a great bit i've never seen about can you imagine what it's like to get arrested and it's steven fucking seagal and it's funny because on the show he'd go around and do this stuff and like he's like a you know he's high up in there he's high up there in the black community like he gets mad respect for some reason a black community really yeah and everywhere he'd go because he was huge in the 90s bro especially when he went to jamaica and did that movie and stuff and um like everywhere he goes on when he was doing the cop show all you know

tons of black people come around go oh it's steven Ghost! You know what I mean? He was like the icon almost. It was so weird. Did you hear about the story of him and Steven Spielberg? No. Did he beat him up? No, but I'll tell you this really quick. Rob Schneider told this story and he goes,

so Spielberg is on the set. He's working on a movie. And he agreed to, you know, have a chat with Steven Seagal or Seagal or whatever his real name is. And so Steven Seagal walks into his trailer thinking he's, you know, the big man and stuff like this. And he goes, listen, I read the greatest script i've ever written in my life it's masterpiece and it's something you'll thank me for giving it to you and spielberg goes really wow like how do you know it's that good like you know who wrote it he goes it's because i wrote the script

you know what i mean i like doing it to steven seagal i've heard yeah multiple people have said that that he told that to him he's mean i like doing it to steven seagal i've heard yeah multiple people have said that that he told that to him he's like i like that greatest i just read the greatest script i've ever read and they're like who wrote it i did yeah what was the movie on the boat that he did on the uh under siege yeah it was a sequel to that it's oh well there's on the train so let me just say in steven Seagal's defense, Under Siege is a damn good movie. So first of all, you've got Tommy Lee Jones,

the bad guy, taking over a naval vessel with missiles on it. Big boobies coming out of a cake. Is that Brigitte Nielsen's titties? Whose titties are those? No, not Brigitte Nielsen. Those are good titties. They're famous titties.

Oh, they're huge. Under Siege 1, Whose titties are those? I can't pull it out of my ass right now for some reason. That's a good movie. And I think I like the one he did with the Wayans brother,

where he takes the Wayans brother's got like a cold or a flu or something. He's congested and they go to this herbal shop and he gives him some stuff. He's like, yeah, put that under your tongue. He puts it under his tongue. He's congested, and they go to this herbal shop, and he gives them some stuff. He's like, yeah, put that under your tongue. He puts it under his tongue. He's like, what is it?

He's like, deer penis. Yeah. I like that because my favorite story from that is when he finally gets the villain, and this villain has been murdering people, right? Children, women, gutting them in their beds. He's a diabolical man. Bad guy. And Steven Seagal has him at gunpoint at an altar.

And I think he has a hostage in the, maybe the priest even. Maybe he's about to kill the priest at the altar in the big Catholic cathedral. And Steven Seagal's got him at gunpoint. Well, during the filming of this, this critical scene, pivotal scene, Steven Seagal has gone through an emotional awakening i believe he had met with the dalai lama and and he had been ordained as like uh like like god or something a deity yeah and he took that 100 seriously like thor down, you picked up Mjolnir for real. And he's like, bro, I can't give you mine, but I'm coming back with yours.

You know what I mean? Like you're one of us now. Like he acted like he got that talk. And so he comes back on set. Time to blow away the bad guy. Right. And again, bad guys, diabolical. Not only that, he's just foaming at the mouth, asking for it. Basically. Seems like a change of mind. Not only that, he's just foaming at the mouth, asking for it, basically. Seems like I changed my mind. I don't think I can do violence anymore and film at all, really. I definitely can't take a life.

And they're like, that's the whole point of the movie and today, Stephen, is that you do violence on this man and so they go to the actor who's acting the bad guy and they're like look you have to convince him that killing you is what your character needs to release him or figure it out make something up this is an interview with that actor he's like so i go to him and i say steven you'd actually be doing me a favor you see killing me because i'll be reincarnated and i'll be able to to you know live a real life then because this one's over this one's in ruins you understand i need you to free me so then could you do it and he's like i think i could do that yes i think i could so they film it with him shooting him. Boom, boom, boom. They use squibs. Blood blowing out of the middle of his chest.

Deep red. Heart blown out. Heart explodes on camera. Got him. Classic 90s bad guy death. Steven Seagal says, if you use that, if you have me kill him,

I'm done right now. I won't take it. This is like weeks later, comes back. That's not how this works. I did not kill him, fix it. And so they make the bad guy actor go back in ADR and record audio going,

Oh, Oh, it hurts. Come back and finish me off, you son of a bitch. And then Steven Seagal turns around and walks away. And that's how the scene ends. That's in the movie. That's so bad.

Is he the guy who, like, he won't lose a fight on screen? That's The Rock. And that makes perfect sense. Like, I can't think of too many fights that schwarzenegger's ever fucking lost you know i don't i don't remember salone getting beaten up other than rocky fucking yeah still don't get every rocky shell and and the other terminator beats schwarzenegger but yeah but in Rocky 3, he killed the other Terminator. The Glimmer Man. I feel like... Yeah, the one where he's what? The T-9000?

The metallic one? The T-2000. Yeah, that guy got the best of Schwarzenegger for all but the last scene. Well, no spoilers. Taylor hasn't seen it for some ungodly reason. You haven't seen Terminator 2? I haven't gotten around to it.

Please go watch it. Wow. I watched the documentary about it last time. I gotta watch the good, the bad, and the ugly first. And then I'll make my way to Terminator 2. Is that the one where Clint Eastwood rapes someone? Have you ever seen Die Hard? It could be.

Let me know if you've seen it. Stop me when you've seen one. Die Hard? you ever seen Die Hard, Lethal Weapon? Let me know if you've seen any. Stop me when you've seen one. Die Hard? I've seen Die Hard 1. Oh, okay. I'm shocked. Lethal Weapon? No.

Mad Max? None of those. No. No, I saw the new one with Tom Hardy. You didn't see the Mel Gibson ones? Have you seen Avengers? No. The first Avengers movie.

Yes, I'm almost positive I've seen. Yeah, yeah, the first Avengers, I have seen that. Okay. I don't think I've seen. Yes, I've seen all the Star Wars. Or I haven't seen whatever the new ones are, but I saw the original ones as a kid. There's these weird gaps.

The ones that came out when I was like 11, 12, 13 in early 2000s, I saw all those also. And I was at the age where i thought it was pretty cool like i thought the pod racing was actually really neat dirty harry no i haven't seen that it's a real wow so just like a lot of references you don't get on like family you'd love dirty harry a huge amount that i just have to go haha and play on play because kyle has an encyclopedic knowledge of movies and i uh i just watched a documentary about terminator 2 last night like like an hour long thing about terminator 2 with behind the scenes stuff i'd never seen before like i love that movie so much it's tremendous

it's tremendous yeah it's a art it's a work of art oh my gosh when she's trying to kill the scientist and through the the silencer and he's at his computer desk and she's like shooting through the the back of the office and running in oh my there's so many cool things about that movie love it love it you know spoilers seriously no spoilers Don't tell him about Miles Dyson. Have you seen it? Inception? Yes, I have seen Inception. I liked it less than... It came out the same year or maybe eight months after Shutter Island, which was the other

huge Leo movie. No, I need to get an email invite. Will my login work for you? Can me and him both use the same login? Yes, but there's a maximum number of streams. And if you only ever watch it just yourself, you're okay. Okay, I'll send you the information. Remind me at the end of the show to send you my login.

I'll text you. So you can get Plex and you can have everything for free virtually. Oh. Including a bunch of... Anytime I mention something on the show, he puts it on Plex. Like, you can see every show. Allow me to interrupt movies at her chris lord of plex lower deck is broken first episode doesn't work and it stops

at episode seven there are three seasons of this i love the show if you could find time there's a form for this there's a form really i i don't have his rules he does we would like a direct email for you how about that that would be well maybe but i my wife and i want to finish lower decks and we don't have paramount and it's broken on your service so yeah i i love it um uh because every time we talk about something here he'll put it on there and i'll jump on there watch it i um lots of eclectic stuff and dude he's so good kyle will mentioned like four shows and then i go into plex and it's like newly added sopranos lower deck and you know good the bad of the ugly and i'm like that guy he's on top of it i've been looking for good horror lately i watched a horror movie last night on shutter called c fever um you've seen c fever man all

right so i would definitely it's definitely a b movie based you know like like like um budget wise but i would say a b plus budget there's no there's no parts that look so bad that you laugh at it's certainly not like sharknado or some it's not goofy it's meant it's taken seriously essentially there's a uh a a fishing vessel with a lot of people on it including some sort of student scientist who's there to do some like accompanying research maybe on the ocean she's tagging along they've let her go and the the it looks like a whole scab scandinavian crew and scandinavian actors who you'll recognize if you've seen a lot of stuff vikings and shit like that you're like i i've seen you before and um basically the captain wants to

make a little extra money so he goes into a exclusion zone a place where you're not allowed to fish and and they even remark hey there's here. They usually stay out of the fishing lanes. They hate the boats. And it's like, yeah, we're not in the fishing lanes anymore. We've gone to where boats don't usually go at all. You know, we're out here where we're not supposed to be. And they run into an enormous creature that mistakes them for a dead whale, their boat for a dead whale,

that it would feed on and put its little baby tadpoles in. And so their boat becomes infected by little baby tadpoles. And then the people get infected by little baby tadpoles. And this guy's, I don't want to spoil what happens, but there's an explosive reaction that is real gruesome that happens because someone had little baby tadpoles in them. And it's how we find out that there are, in fact, little baby tadpoles on the ship.

They're like, oh, there they are. Fuck. And it gets increasingly darker and darker. And it doesn't have a happy ending. I don't mind giving that much away because, again, it's like a B-plus horror movie that's like, I don't know, I felt bad. I like a not happy ending in a horror movie where it's like i don't know i like

a not happy ending in a horror movie from time to time it keeps you guessing i am a horror movie fanatic so if you ever need a good suggestion i could tell you love it yes please there's this one movie that's probably my top three top five of all time horror movies it's a spanish movie called terrified where it's almost like a neighborhood that's haunted google that shit excuse my language and watch that it will mess you up amazing movie i'll watch that i love not terrified 2017 film yeah yeah you have to watch the ratings you will check that out i'm always like what's another good one i'm always looking for new horror uh midsummer is a good one enjoyed that i thought that was it was my that's a horror that's ari that's ari aster right the director oh yeah it's

my least favorite of his movies but i know people who think it i i i know people who think it's like one of the best of all time and people who don't like it. It's one of those movies. Hereditary blew me away. Hereditary was amazing. I had to watch it twice to enjoy it and appreciate it. I disliked it the first time. I maybe even came on here and shat on it.

And I really got caught up on that little girl. And I know that's how she looks. Her face is a bit unfortunate to look at. And it was off-putting to me. And she kept doing those little ticks, that clicking tick she does. And that was really off-putting to me for some reason, too. And every now and then I watch something and maybe I'm queasy, like unrelated to that. I'm like sick to my stomach.

I have this hatred of SpongeBob SquarePants because I was hung over the first time i ever i ever like saw an episode i was like like like fucking sour stomach hung over nasty feeling like shit and and so and you're like hearing like nah like just loud ass lives in a pineapple under the sea and i'm like i need a ride home and you're like ah ruined it for me um what was i talking about um before you were talking about that or hereditary face the second time i watched it though and i started appreciating the little intricacies of it the the hidden details the symbolism i missed huge plot points the first time i watched it and i usually think i'm

good at that but but I was like, holy shit. She was there though. This character was watching way earlier than she's introduced. There she is in the background or, Oh, this happened here and there. And Oh shit.

What's that in the fucking shadows. There's lots of that. And the last 10, 20 minutes of that movie are a shit show. Roller coaster, goat fuck. It goes wild the only thing that I can compare it to

as far as and I like that when you come out of nowhere and hit the audience in the fucking teeth when they've just been taking body blows all night it's like whoa wasn't ready for this it's bone tomahawk you seen that shit I've seen that when the thing that happens

fucking happens in bone tomahawk yeah like oh we're not watching a western anymore we went straight to cannibal horror film holy shit i've never i've never they go from that normal that gory before they go from like a normal western like it's a little quiet out here not just normal but good here and then yeah good slow burn good acting i was enjoying it and then in like maybe 25 seconds it goes from that to absolute brutality and then it gets worse and worse and worse until they're in the cages hear me out here wouldn't you watch a whole tv series about that cast just doing normal cowboy shit without cannibals like some rustlers came and

took bill's herd come on roscoe let's go get and that group of guys just rides off and deals with some rustlers i would need a little cannibalism you know lots of eating beans and campfires you need the cannibalism all right there would need there would need to be hints of it and there'd be like there's human-shaped mouths eating our steer bone tomahawks hardcore little death whistle yes it's not a cannibal anymore it's eating our steers a lot of the best horror movies are foreign movies like if you get out of american productions that tone their stuff down like hereditary is like a rare example but they're like what's a zombie train to busan very good very good have you seen that one of course yeah yeah i love korean stuff that was a cool one like this when you get out of the states

like there's some really messed up ones that will screw with your head yeah there's a bunch of good like asian horror whether it's like korean or thai japanese like there's a ton of those out there and what's your uh what's your favorite movie mine look i don't know uh oh okay um bram stoker's dracula yeah with with Keanu and Gary Oldman. Yeah, amazingly done. Winona Ryder and Anthony Hopkins. What's the Tarantino one? And Carrie Ewells. What? Are you talking about Dust Till Dawn?

Yes, the one that becomes a vampire movie at the very end. I like that. Yeah, that was more. Robert Rodriguez movie pinned by Quentin Tarantino. It was more hokey than scary. Yeah, definitely not a horror. The twist comes out of nowhere, though, which I really appreciate. I so wish more movies would do that.

I mean, George Clooney and Tarantino as brothers was awesome in the first half. I thought that was a really cool matchup, but the way that Tarantino was screwed up. I was cool with all that. I'd have watched that whole movie without the vampires and i watched a whole other that could have been yeah totally i liked both well yeah i've seen every vampire movie and i think that's one of the best one bram stoker's like really did it i was gonna say the same thing we're it's great i highly recommend it it's a very sexy, horny movie. Very sexy, horny movie.

Which movie? Wait. Bram Stoker's Dracula. Dracula turns into a wolf man and fucking raw dogs. This redhead with her titties out. Monica Bellucci and two other lesbian vampire chicks come out of the fucking bed like fucking serpents with their titties.

Because I love Monica Bellucci and her big fucking pussy. And not like, I don't know, like big poofy, like pussy lips. It's a real good looking pussy that she's shown a lot on film. Big titties. She's the chick who gets raped

in Irreversible. Oh, I'm a huge fan of her. Now you're on board. Yes. Her and two other lesbian vampire bitches come out of Keanu's bed and they're like sucking his dick and biting his ballsack and dracula's like bitches get the fuck away from him he's mine

but don't worry i got a brand new human baby infinite infant and he hands it to him and they're just like ah they like rip it apart tear it to pieces while it screams at keanu's like watching all that shit go down and then later on you get the wolfman raw dog and the redhead which which i mentioned but then lucy in general the red i might just want to watch just titties out everywhere this sounds pretty fucking stupid like it's it is it is as close to the original um as any Dracula story there's ever been. And my next one was Interview with a Vampire. As has ever been.

And Gary Oldman tries his fucking heart out. He looks great. I love it. Oh, you know, I actually changed my answer. What We Do in the Shadows is my favorite vampire movie. That's fun. That's a good one. That's a very funny movie.

I like it. Have you ever seen twilight i don't yes i had the worst high school girlfriend the first one i did i was like that sucks so you know the vampire brad pitt i do the question i'm sorry we gotta go over the question we've neglected this for far too long let me pull it up yes we have a patron who oh check out the patreon if you'd like to submit a question we sift through and find the the good ones and this one is a follow-up to one from a few months ago that we got and uh kyle you can go ahead and read it i think he causes he

he backs it up even yeah it's a little refresher it's the insane life help question right yes hey i am the guy who who uh answered months ago and blew a ton of money from stocks i have continued to blow my stocks but to be honest kyle never messaged me back so i've just been blowing more money i've been in europe for three months now i believe this is his inheritance something like that a limited quantity that started to be as a rather large amount but is quickly dwind in Europe for three months now. I believe this is his inheritance, something like that, a limited quantity that started to be as a rather large amount, but is quickly dwindling. For three months now, he's getting his Italian citizenship, apparently. And his question is, what does he do now?

He has $110,000 left. I have spent hundreds of thousands on good times, but Woody or Kyle, how do I turn what i have left into something meaningful i feel so lost no family or friends only escorts in which i know will never love me i put 15 000 on the reds money line last week um that's i think he means the cincinnati reds baseball team and came up big enough to last another year. Sustained lifestyle. I know it won't last forever, though. I have always looked up to you guys as older brothers or parental figures,

and I know the fans have done the same. You've got to ride the Reds. Ride the Reds, baby. Let's go. Big Red Army. At this point, after blowing hundreds of thousands of dollars that my grandmother left me, gave me, I should say, what do I do? I have just over 110,000 left in my stocks, and I feel a loss. I am not sure if any of you have heard the term passport bro, but it means to travel for sex. I feel as if I am relegated to that. I know eventually my funds will run out, but there's nothing in my life that will even come close to the satisfaction I feel when I'm doing hookers and blow.

My favorite part of the question. There's nothing that comes close to the satisfaction in my life. I feel when I'm doing hookers and blow. All right. the satisfaction in my life i feel when i'm doing hookers and blow all right it is incredibly sad to say but woody is the closest thing i have to a father and kyle is the closest thing i have to a brother i need help and it's incredibly sad to realize the closest thing come on don't don't tear us down after you built us up i'm not reading the back part. Oh, it's sad that I have to reach out to Kyle to help me, but what else could I do?

Oh, it was either him or just blow my brains out here in Italy. I don't even know if I want to answer your question now. Maybe I'll give you bad advice. Anyway. Yeah, it was going to be good. I think that you're still so granted you sent this question in 30 days ago so maybe you've gone through all of it by now on hookers and blow which sounds fantastic dude i'm gonna be honest have the reds been on a streak we might be able to predict this yeah look into that see how the

reds are doing uh you should have bet on the bravos though because that's just that's gonna win the series this year but i would say that as long as you still have, no matter how much money you've got, that's more than most people start with. Which again, it's free money that came from nowhere. And there's no reason to think about what you've lost because it's gone. You need to think about what you have. Because there's a lot of people that are young like you. He's really young, I think. Who have nothing to bounce off of.

And that money, I think I told you this last time, I don't know why you're saying I didn't answer your fucking question. That's your cushion that you sit on while you go to school, or you get a trade, or you open your business, or you figure your life out. Hookers and blow need to stop, obviously, but you sound like a hookers and blow man. So look, maybe do what uh

mark twain said and make your vacation your vocation okay you like hookers and blow find a way to earn a living through hookers and blow i'm not advising you do anything illegal i'm just saying for example hookers and blow not literally hookers and blow. Not literally hookers and blow. Because I know you didn't literally mean hookers and blow. You meant like peanut butter jelly sandwiches and pay-per-view UFC events. Exactly. That's my advice to you. I'm not going to tell you to stop doing hookers and blow. You've spent half a million dollars on hookers and blow.

You fucking love it. All right? So find a... you need to be a drug dealing pimp a drug sure would be sure he loves it fucking would be fucking clutch as shit bro if you were a drug dealing pimp and let me tell you this those two things it's not like becoming like a fucking sand salesman who's also a fisherman those two things fucking synergize bro a drug dealing pimp the whores love drugs and what better way to control them than the chemical dependence listen my man this book

writes itself you don't need me here andrew tate wrote the book on this shit get to work you're already in europe step one move to romania you know why european women are so fucking hot by and large like the average european woman not the viking rape that accounts for their strong genetics and the red the reason they're so attractive is because when they went around burning all those witches up they burnt all the ugly hacks they went around oh crooked nose fucking wart on her cheek fucking lazy eye fucking patchy ass hair that bitch is like 30 pounds too heavy round her up too look at her she's casting spells she has like cerebral

palsy look at her with her witchy twitchy hand exactly if somebody had a fucking like hand deformity you think they were casting a spell on you round them up they rounded all of those ugly bitches up and they you know disposed of them unfortunately to australia unfortunately no they burned them they sent them to boston sent them all to boston massachusetts home of the ugliest bitches this side of the missus i would have gone the other direction, Kyle. I would have thought that jealous people in those days would have been like, fucking Susie with her giant tits and ass. I'm going to accuse her of being a witch.

Fuck her. And they would have thought there'd be some vindictive witchery. I'll be honest, Taylor. That's a bit of made-up history, and I've used that both ways in the past. Never let facts keep you from making your point. I've used that to talk about why women are so ugly in a region of Europe before. I mean, you know what's happened?

All the gals would get together. They see Becky fucking firm titties over there. And then they'd be like, oh, Becky fucking said that she wished the crop would fail and looky-loo, there it fails. And she said she wished Tommy would trip and he fell and broke his leg. My lord, her tits move in defiance of God's law of gravity. They'd fucking lie to her and they'd have her fucking crowned.

Yeah, they'd bring her upon charges. She'd be gone. So, you know, I can use that. You can use that either way. I want to answer the question. Yeah, we should answer this guy's question. There was a question? Yeah.

For the guy that wrote this or anyone who's in a vaguely comparable situation if you know the road you're on leads to the wrong place fucking turn what kind of jackass is like i can see myself headed to the pits of hell but you know momentum nah fucking turn dick fuck what yeah you're over the top stupid on this you've spent life-changing money on hookers and blow and you're still going turn now you still have 100 grand left you it's gonna grease the skids for the rest of your life if you use it smart 100 right he's that's what i'm talking about that that little it's grease that's what that that's a good way to think of it and life gets fucking rocky sometimes and it gets rusty sometimes and money is such good grease to like oh really that was gonna ruin everything twenty five hundred dollars fixed it oh life's over ten thousand fixed it all the time that kind of shit happens and if you've

got fucking six figures liquid over there man that's a lot of mana in your fucking back pocket yeah fix shit look you can't fix a relationship you can't make a woman not be a dumb piece of shit you can't make a friend not be a selfish jerk or whatever your problems might be in your real life but money you'll fix that other shit sick dog poof not anymore you lawn look like shit nah now it's pimping can't get any pussy car house working out i don't think he needs instructions on how to convert cash into pussy this is actually a huge problem it's like laundering money back into pussy like right now you're

doing it the illegal way you're going straight for the pussy like right now you're doing it the illegal way you're going straight for the pussy with the dollars you got to filter that money back through wardrobe and fucking a household and a car and a night and a good look your way is going to make the money last longer Kyle I think you'll go but then you have

a house and a car and and all the other things you know my dumb ass is like oh he spends the money on himself oh my god those appreciating assets no no like that's that would be my thing like you can get a lot of pussy you've got like other things than just paying straight up for although look i've never liked prostitutes i think i've just had the one or two or whatever i've talked whatever i've told on here i don't have any secret ones man it's like what an icky process and like if you don't have a good sense of humor and be jokey about it with her it could be real dark i'm glad mine

didn't seem like a sad prostitute she was like a happy i'm getting paid kind of prostitute um i don't know why i made her sassy because she was blonde but it uh um but but you know it didn't feel it still it was just like this wasn't like a good time you know you're only here because i paid you the money and all you know and yeah and and i like to hang out after sex i i always tell woody we've talked about the thing where these guys will just like get laid and like never talk to a girl again and i'm like why did you do that did you fuck a girl that was so atrocious that you don't want to be like near her anymore because i'd like to make a relationship with her of some kind or at least we're in contact and like hey you want to hang out okay that's cool brilliant

i don't know why everyone doesn't follow that kyle rule like i think they're fucking awful women okay all right in that regard it makes a certain sense but i think there are people who are turning down slutty women when they could be repeat customers i think this guy his like when you read that he was like i don't think anything is as like as much fun as i'm having now with cocaine and prostitutes like yeah it's more the dude the dude already knows the answer in his head like people who are happy and are not doing a bunch of cocaine and fucking prostitutes like you already know you know in your head and like your soul and heart whatever you want to say like you know you're not happy on this path like you know you already know that

you need to cut it out you need unironically get really into jesus rather than that'll cost all that money no don't you give a dime of that money to jesus yeah they're gonna no i didn't say he's getting to the church i said money get it the last that's what churches do they're cults that just fucking get the cash out of you why would you guys are too reddit brained if you hear i'm addicted to cocaine and prostitutes and you go just do something else maybe go to church or something you're like no no like it's not reddit brain it's the time we tried to join the church and they were like hey we like to do our deposits by you giving us your fucking number and bank password and we withdraw them automatically.

That's absurd. Don't give your bank accounting code to church people. Don't do that. Literally anything would be... Getting super into working out, getting super into some hobby, paramotoring, skydiving. You have enough to get into something fun.

You already know that you're miserable and depressed going down this path of artificial happiness that clearly isn't working if you've dumped hundreds of thousands of dollars into it and if you every day you do it more you're going to regret it more and you're going to drive oh i got another fucking prostitute for two grand how am i going to make myself feel better about doing this again another prostitute tomorrow night do you record do you record like you make pornos with these prostitutes because that would make so much more sense if you were making it like let's say you're hooking up with like the creme de la creme of european prostitutes man if you had an only fans where they of course you know what where they agreed to like be filmed and

everything and you could have like like yeah this week like that could be part of your only fans i don't know if anybody does that but like what if there was a dude who was like this week you guys get to pick who i bang here's the whole like fucking whore list of in in uzbekistan here's here's a 500 women y'all pick one for me to bang all right uh donate if the donations hit this amount you guys get to pick what i do to her so kyle wants there an only man like that so kyle wants you to parlay prostitution into sex dude i've been trying so hard to make his vocation his vacation like like get him fucking synergized it's genius really yeah you know how only use me blade is like hey the first shot i'll do for five bucks the second shot i do for 10 the third shot

for 20 etc you need to do that with cum shots. You're going to need a supplement to help you with all that. Maybe Church was the wrong bet. Here's the thing. You get your OnlyFans going. We will promote it. We want to see three videos that are already uploaded.

We will promote it. We will give you product. Hold on. We don't know what this guy looks like. This guy does not look good. Pending like pending it pending visual uh ocular pat down unseen you want to promote his porn we need to hypothetical clearly pending fbs productions 2023 um uh but but but what we just screw y'all out of it but no but but you know like then you could take our product you could up your game and the fans would be able to see how much of a

difference that it made and uh and you know you could pay us for for those services with some of the much money that you have the many monies and it could be a it could be a wonderful thing for both of us you could have your dad and your brother watch you you know blow loads on on romanian whores you know and we and we your dad and your brother could come together to give you that help you need to get your jism to the turgid mass of disgustingness that that we like to see out of our boy when he's blasting romanian whores youores. We want to welcome you into the family, is what I'm saying. This guy, he should

do hookers and blow during the hangout. We want you to be cool guy of the year. I'll make a trophy. Wolf, what's your advice for this gentleman? I'm kind of scared because Jesus after those. So here, what I would recommend is there's a very large percentage. This guy is probably not that attractive.

And I don't think he's going to want him to want to see himself on camera. I think he needs to go to mask it up. It's all good. He needs to go to a third world nation of some kind uh south america south america or somewhere where his dollar can be he could live like a king he needs to use that 100k buy a small hotel or something that he can get some gains from and like a regular influx of money before it all runs out and he's rock rock bottom and he needs to go

dry like drop the drugs drop he needs to go someplace where it's going to be really hard to get South America might not be the best idea but he needs to go somewhere we can pay you in pesos or cocaine. I keep picking the coke.

That's the word, too. I have never not chosen coke, to be honest. Invest that money so he can start building back or he can get a regular return from it so that he can live off of something because he's going to go broke real fast if he hasn't gone already yeah you need some real estate uh uh you know hotel with like four or five rooms that he can

make a little money from and chill out and sweat out the drugs and either end up in you know i mean you could also go your route and you know get moved to thailand where his money's going to stretch more and get his own roster of female employees if that's what he wants air quotes for the ladies part we're in thailand baby let's go that's what i'm saying that's you know he could buy some lady boys and ladies and get you a fucking money over there you go cat boys Cat boys everywhere, baby. Let's go. That's what he is, the cat boy king of Thailand. You know the whole

Tiger King persona, but you got a bunch of cat boys, a bunch of Asian cat boys following you around to get the hat on. This is going to save you financially. I think he just needs to clean up yeah because he's not gonna last not gonna last bro yeah no i mean if he's all the time bro like it's not retirement time it's it's used as a springboard think of it as springboard and cushion money right it's it's the money that

gives you that little pep in your step that nobody else has the other people can't put in as many hours as you can because you have money to take care of the things that they spend their time on like like you know what i mean like if you don't have time to make dinner you can order it right like that that's what that money's for frankly yeah so that yeah if you not so that you can just eat in so that you can keep working and not stop to make food you know what i mean like like you can outwork your competition because you've got 110 000 in your bank account that is a lot of money to have liquid like just well depends where you are well it was it was does it go further or not as far in italy would you imagine oh italy is notoriously cheap unless you go like it's incredibly expensive i

mean i don't like like like i i don't know cocaine here seems like cocaine seems cheap here from like we've talked about before we don't really know but like it's not it's not like crazy expensive like what's it costing italy is is he spending like ten thousand dollars a week on cocaine in italy like that's i don't know i don't know i don't know well anyway bro I think we gave you lots of good advice there. You take your big mix and match, frankly. Get yourself some whores and go to South America. Get clean and get a, what did you say, a hotel.

But if you get a hotel, you definitely got to get them whores in there. Some of these ideas synergize together better than others. I think a hotel with whores and cocaine in south america and fucking ding ding ding all of a sudden you're rolling like eight d d 20 d 28 at a time you're taking the highest roll every turn nothing but crit hits that's how you synergize so so good luck to you and look if anyone would like to ask us a question this is the perfect time to uh to click the patreon down below you know the month's rolled over here we are at the eve of a new month did you guys see the moon last night i texted you like a teenage girl hey boys go out and look at the moon i didn't text till this morning and nobody fucking replied

i'm out there looking at it i weren't i was i was so ready to be like i'm looking at the same moon as you little bird i i did look at the moon i i i didn't look at it i didn't see your text until this morning but i did see the moon last night and i mentioned i think even i think even if i hadn't known it was going to be a little bit brighter and it had just been a random night, I would have been like, moon looks pretty bright tonight. The hurricane was passing over me. There was an astrological alignment this month. A couple different things happened. You obviously had the asteroid shower in the middle of the month.

You get like 150 asteroids per hour at its peak. It was real cool to see. And it was a blue moon, which is when you have two full moons in a month. That's what light looks like to me when my contacts get too old it was eight percent bigger apparently uh then it's it not only was a blue moon it's a super moon um and uh so it's like eight percent bigger than normal because because it said it's uh is it f epigy perigy one of i can't remember which one's the the closest it gets to the earth and the furthest it gets from the earth because i don't fucking speak latin yeah whichever one it's when it's at

the closest to the earth that it's full which is a semi a semi-rare occurrence how much closer is like is it like like a million miles closer is it even a million miles away how fucking far away it's eight percent brighter so i would imagine it's eight percent closer and it's 250 000 miles away so eight percent of 250 000 um you're gonna have to start working on 16 20 it's like 20 000 you got it brother it's 20 000 miles closer i think i'm real high it's hard to or take. Just say that after things. Give or take. How rare of a moon was this, though? Because there's lots of custom special moons. Corresponding with a blue moon, it's super rare.

But just a super moon, one of the ones where it's a full moon when it's close to us, it seems like we have a couple of those a year. I wish that it was actually that bright all the time. Good for you hell yeah 80% I used a calculator and I cheated

yeah Woody's calculator right up here in his mind that's how he did let's try to convince people that that's true you can convince me

you're an accountant so to me it's like he just kind of knows that stuff just just from me he has a familiarity with numbers that surpasses the non-accountants. I've seen Reddit posts where they do a little math. Like, how do you multiply this number and that number?

What do you do in your head? And people have different shortcuts for how they do it. It's interesting to see how people visualize math. I really struggle with holding numbers together in my head, especially when I'm high. Yeah, this is addition. But if I told you to add 19 and 18 together, me, I'd add 20

and back one off. I just sort of do the math in my head. So 9 and 8 and then carry, just do it. You do the little carry thing and you're like the one and sometimes honestly what i'll

do it different ways depends on the number sometimes i'll add the the two the two tens and just have 20 over here imagined i imagine a 20 floating in the ether and then i add the nine and the seven or whatever he said it was and then i have that other number that i then throw on under 20 that's the quickest way for me to do it in my brain. I did eight plus 19 and then add 10. Really? Yeah. I don't know why that's how I wanted to do it. Yeah. Everybody's brains work a little bit different, or maybe you learned a different ways. You learn these shorts shortcuts. Um, like, you know, I don't know, 10% of eight is the same as 8% of 10. You know, like if you know, things like that, you can, you can do some difficult math. You can make difficult math more, more easy.

I do remember being impressed by that when I learned like that little, like reverse percentage thing. Really man, math is neat, but not neat enough to not be thinking about recess. The fucking calculator put an end to math's coolness, didn't it? It's like like do you remember you guys you guys are all older than me you must remember i don't know maybe i was like the absolute last group of ages where it was still like you're not gonna have a calculator in your pocket dumb ass oh yeah and like by the time i was in like late high school it's like we all have a calculator

now like we all have yeah i'm pretty thankful i know how to fucking add numbers together with with pen and paper properly using like the standard method there are other methods i've seen different methods let's say we're multiplying like 10 970 times 4 372 like there are different ways to do that and when you see the other way you're like oh it's almost like the first time you see the metric system and understand how well it stacks together. You're like, why didn't they teach us that way? I mean, I'm not learning. I'm not relearning how to do math, but that was pretty good. Well, it's cause like we can't remap the way we visualize distances and like

sizes of things, like back into metric, you know, like you just like, when you learned imperial like do you ever see a distance or something and think like how many kilometers how many meters is that like no you think like that's that many feet that's that many pounds like you just instinctively well for some retard like me who doesn't work in that like yeah if you if you know it's not telling us but if you ever like get into a hobby that works in them like if you, if you, you know, it's not intelligence, but if you ever like get into a hobby that works in them, like if you smoke enough weed, you're going to learn how many, how many grams are in an ounce.

You're going to, and, and then you know, everything about up to the kilogram and everything else. Like you got it now. The hard part is there's 28 fucking grams in an ounce. And Oh, I'm a master.

Now I can convert anything. But then like, if you run, if you run five Ks, you got a real firm feel for what 5k's is and if you shoot sometimes they shoot at 100 meters or they run at 100 meters or or and I have this real front obviously I pick a picture of football field and then just you know like 13 more feet or whatever the fuck it is eight more feet just a little bit more it's

so little that doesn't matter you know when i picture either one of them you know shooting a target at 100 meters and 100 yards the same fucking thing yeah well it's even like down to playing golf right like if you play golf enough you can tell what's like 100 meters 115 meters like or yards i grew up with yards i grew up with yards being used a ton when you uh when you bow hunt your bow you've zeroed an adjustable sight that's on the bow to 10 yards 20 yards 30 yards 40 yards and you can slide it up but you have to look at what you're at the deer and figure that out on your own range it out yeah there's situations where you have nothing to go on you just have to know you just have to have visualized that so many times that you can read it and figure it out within five yards and i'm pretty good at that out to a long long range i can look at 300 i can look

at 375 yards and i can get within 25 yards of it no i lose that ability around eight eight yards to 10 yards i'm not there yeah i stood at 20 yards i was like eight year old woody was really smart and then he lost it like how does that work i would i would you practice it about 20 yards a lot i would practice at 20 yards for like three hours a day so you get a real firm idea for what 20 yards is because you're walking back and forth from the target back and forth yeah but what the smart thing to do of course is once you're stand measure it and mark it you know with like oh break a limb off that's 20 and break another off that's 30 and then you've got visual markers and measured distances and stuff but sometimes you can't do that which is how the competitions work when you go to a 3d competition

uh you have these three-dimensional targets that's why it's called that turkeys foxes whatever the fuck deer and it's kind of like golf you measure it by sight you don't know how far is that that's about 60 what do you think for 60 i don't know adjust your sight you might even ask your buddy what he thinks but we're all competing like golf and you go up and you fire your arrows you know that thing in the way kyle said it like look and see how far the hole is away. Like, have you seen those like readers that the golfers will use sometimes and be like,

it's, I didn't know those exist. 110 yards. Well, there's range laser range find. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,

I grew up. And that seems like, I don't know anything about golf, but that seems like cheating. It seems like part of the game should be like, how far is that? I, I'm, I think it's about this of the game should be like how far is that i i'm i i think it's about this so i should use that yeah instead of an exact measure you'd agree with your buddies or whatever maybe tournaments don't allow a range finder i that wouldn't surprise me a bit

i've never seen tiger woods get a fucking laser range finder but you'd be surprised we bought one of those many years ago like like 1999, 2001, somewhere in there. And it went to 800 meters and it was shockingly accurate out to those distances for really cheap. And it looked like a camcorder, like one of the little ones from the early 2000s. But it was just like, blink, 700 meters.

Blink, 200 meters. Blink, 50. And it was wonderful. It was this, we used to measure it. We used to step it off, you know, like step it off. I know exactly. That was just a miracle to get that little piece of technology. Very cool.

We've even used all the paintball. Four hours. Yeah, I think it's time to wrap. Wolf wolf anything you want to pimp um wolf paintball on instagram uh tiktok and uh this uh youtube thingy uh feel free to hang out and see some crazy stuff cool all wolf's links are below click those check them out a a six six three