Painkiller Already - PKA 666 W/Wendigoon: Wizard Of Poz, Boebert Gets Handsy, Guess The Gun

Episode Date: September 23, 2023

pka666 oh fuck more guess windigroup taylor 666 the spooky episode

this episode pka is brought to you by lock and load pharaoh distro and blue chew a bunch of

wonderful sponsors starting the starting the show off right with you know usually i pronounce all my numbers

in fairness you're on such a good run. Who can even who even cares about this one? One out of 666 numbers you've beefed up. Who cares? That's a great ratio. That's an A plus plus plus. You round that off to 100 percent.

Wendigan, thank you for joining us. We all were very adamant about getting you for episode 666. And every time I go check your channel like you you've exploded even more like the amount of traction you get on your videos the amount i see like memes of you and i'm like that that's got thousands of retweets and that guy clearly doesn't even know who when dagoon is like you're just that big of a so it seems to be booming the supernatural business i appreciate that thank you so much and of course. Thank you so much. And of course, boys, thank you so much for having me for six, six, six. Uh,

it's funny that I got invited. Cause I remember like, when I used to watch the show, like a couple of years ago, like before I even started YouTube, I would be like, ah, yeah, they keep doing the numbers saying, ah, they're going to hit the funny numbers like four 20, six, six, six, or whatever. So now to be here for one of them it's an honor thank you thank you appreciate it of course and your beard is on point we shouldn't just let that it wouldn't be more perfect that's so sweet thank you trust me it's not natural i've i've like

looked at this thing precisely with little razors trying to get the cuts. You got your geometry on point. A black barber? No, no. I've had to become the black barber for myself. Oh, that's the move. I'm with you. Takes a lot of trial and error. A lot of accidentally cutting one side too low so you just look lopsided for like a week or whatever, but through the

fire we've maintained somehow. That's very kind. Thank you. Thank you. you i appreciate that you know what the most difficult skeleton behind you have a name uh we call her skella me and my fiance she sent me to uh she sent me to home she sent me to home depot not the skeleton my fiance uh to get halloween decorations and i saw her and i couldn't resist so I just randomly posed this thing around the house or whatever she keeps me company during streams my stream really likes it

whenever I'm playing games or something if I'm in Tarkov it's like a serious moment and if I just randomly turn behind me and scream periodically chat loves that so it's a good bit I'll see how much traction I can get out of it just keep rolling those bits until i mean if it plays it stays as long as they keep donating

i bet that scale that wasn't a 500 skeleton was it was it? I think I paid like $20 for that or something ridiculous. Bring the gong! The gong's not even there anymore. But you'll have that gong for decades to come. Probably till I die. There's a Chinese restaurant somewhere who would love

that thing. You can get rid of it. it can become an heirloom like you can have your kids lie about it say it was some like ancient artifact that was brought over whatever have you ever heard of youtube or gong videos like people who play the gong it doesn't sound good there's no good they're not musical at all. They just bong. The guy's like... It's a complimentary sound. Like, it can't be by itself. It's like...

Like, you can bang on it, but some of them kind of treat it like they're, like, seductively seducing a woman's nipple. They're, like, rubbing all around the perimeter real slow with this... And they got a stick, but it's all, like, padded on the end, and they're, like...

They're giving it this Q-tip-like circular motion thing. Sometimes they're adding water to the mix, lubing it all up. It can be feeling angry, because I just bite the gong right off the bat. No, that's not good tactics. You have to play it like, what are those called? Glass harmonicas,

where you have glasses with different amounts of water, and then you go and you kind of that kind of impresses me yeah i can't remember there's that one instrument that spins the glass rings for you and there are and i think you might moisten your fingers or it might moisten for you but you touch spinning glass that it's always spinning away from you multiple rings and you're you can can turn the stupid glass thing into a full-on instrument. Are you sure you didn't dream this?

If I did, someone get to fucking work. I want to find a video of it so that I can make fun of it as being stupid and lame because I remember I brought up that video a year ago of that dude who sits at the,

you remember that it's like called the American panharmonicon, that thing where it's got a million instruments and you're like tugging on things and, and beeping and also playing piano with it. And I, I thought that was so cool and so neat. And you guys shot me down hard on it. You said it, you said it was gay.

You said it wasn't cool. That doesn't sound like me. It's called an harmonica. An harmonica? Yeah, it's called an harmonica. It's powered with a foot pedal and it rotates 36 concentric glass bowls and it produces notes by putting wet fingers

to the spinning glass. It was invented in Austria. Mozart andhoven would compose chamber pieces for that's how i knew um and that's how i had like learned about it was like i know i know now that you were reading as you said that but yeah i was reading that okay yeah the way you focused i thought that you like sleeper cell activation harmonica machine yeah it's so clear i was reading that i had i didn't i didn't remember what it was called. I'm pretty sure that's not an instrument.

I pictured cocktail glasses, all of them on rotating. That's what I thought. I saw a horrible video of a Chinese factory laborer getting sucked into one. Oh no, not again! It sounded foolish. I have one of those somewhere.

The sperm thing? Oh, I thought you meant the Chinese live leak machine. Woody has a Chinese laborer around here somewhere. So let me get this straight. Woody, you envisioned a lazy Susan with lots of glasses on it.

Helps if you know what a lazy Susan is. Yeah, I know, but picture a lazy Susan, people know. For me, it it a late helps if you know lazy susan yeah i know but picture a lazy susan people know for me it's a cabinet device where you you open the corner cabinet and all the contents of it's been around but i think you also see them in like chinese restaurants we put the food in the middle and everyone gets access to it yeah that but um yeah something like that but not one glass not one lazy susan a bunch Lazy Susans the size of coasters that just rotated by a machine and you touched each glass. Can you imagine how politically incorrect the Lazy Susan commercials would have been if it were invented like in the 90s? Oh, Susan doesn't want it. Susan, another piece of chicken, honey.

Oh, I don't feel like it, Sam. Get up and get it yourself said oh that lazy susan women are lazy aren't they after a hard day of not working the end of the commercial is her bringing a beer over with a red handprint, like on the side of her face. Oh, no. Try the lazy Susan ice pack to take down that swelling, bitch. What are you going to do?

Go to the police? You can't even vote. Johnny, give me my thumb with staff. Yes, Papa. We're about to put a little bit of... Put a little mustard in it. Ah, the olden days. I love the old

timey talk, right? Like, put a little mustard on it. I saw a whole thread today where people had never heard the phrase, the juice isn't worth the squeeze. Is that not in common vernacular? Does everyone not know that?

I thought that was very common. Is it a southern thing? I thought that's probably a southern thing. That's a very grandma phrase. I've heard it too, but I'm from Tennessee. I feel like I've always heard it and I'm from Jersey. I don't know.

It really applies to anything and everything. It's not just about juice. They're just dumb. That's all it is. Fair enough. On your beard, let's not stray too far away. I was going to say the most difficult facial hair to take on is that tiny, thin little line that dudes will put at the perimeter of their face,

like framing their face like a little artist or something. Chin strap, I think it's called. Oh, my God. Okay, but a chin strap, I imagine being at least the width of a pencil. I've seen those laser-thin lines on people that kind of come up and do a... How long does that take? It's got to take forever. One mistake and you just...

Ah! You shave it all off again. Nah, I choose to believe they have a stencil they just put on their face and shave it around. It's like a football mask guard i mean that's like a facial hair style for someone who has a good jaw and wants to have facial hair so that's just showing off at that point yeah it's showing off i don't like it beards are for those of us who want to add a little you say that but i'm not sure this applies to skinny taylor i want to see the beardless taylor now maybe i haven't trimmed it in like two weeks because i'm getting other than like the top part here because i'm getting a

haircut tomorrow and they always offer they're always like you want your beard trimmed up too and i've always been for the most part like no because i'm like worried they're gonna fuck it up and then it's like no they i trust them with my hair. So tomorrow I'm going to let them trim me up. So if I come back Tuesday looking like a tard, it's because the lady fucked up. I do have to say I like the beard. It's looking looking solid. I dig it. Yeah.

Thank you. I'm just imagining different iterations like you're a Fallout character or something like Mr. Potato Head style. And you may have nailed it. But I would like to see i if i had like a big bushy full manly beard like you i would want to do that thing where you sit in like a reclined chair with the steamed up almost burning you towel like wrapped around it and then they really mop that old timey like they mix it they mix the fucking shaving cream right there and then they

mop it onto you with that little fuck have you had that done kyle no no uh no i have had like uh the guy whipped out the straight razor before to like do the back of my hair yeah like back of my neck i should say i've been shaved by my barber. Straight razor. Yes. Yeah. He had a straight razor and he had that like mopping, you know, the shaving cream stuff he put on. I'm trying to think.

I think honestly, it is the gayest thing I've ever done. It was so gay. Aren't you a blue belt? Jits way gayer. He was like my head as he, as he as he as he held my face and like you know touched it and did sort of this thing and this guy is a man's man he's like a 40 year old italian barber and media yeah and just the way he i don't know stretched my face

and held it and touched it and shaved it like five minutes in. I don't think that's the shaving you're describing. The way he slipped one finger inside of me. That's it. As he caressed my newly shorn.

I don't think that's standard procedure. You are gonna be a woody Bella. You were gonna be a Bella, Woody. Bella! You were gonna be so beautiful. Jackie's gonna come to the door. She's gonna say who are these men that come to my house

right now? I can barely put my finger on just why it was so gay. Like the way he held my head, the way he touched my face, the slowness of the cut. It wasn't held my head, the way he touched my face, the slowness of the cut. It wasn't... When they do the back of my head, I'll get a number two

or something. It's just like... He's mowing my head. He didn't mow my face. He caressed it with a blade. It was a gentle experience and super gay. Of course. Inzo, a gentle man. That's a great episode. I think it's the gayest thing I've ever done.

No, Kyle was right about the jits thing. As someone who has no experience with having my face shaved by a masculine Italian man or jujitsu, it's much straighter to let the Italian guy rub on your face for a bit than to be like, alright, day four of the gooch grab practice.

You ever been in a body triangle? I'm sorry. It's just, it's a little bit gayer to roll with a man. Here's how I know. Because I was always like hesitant to roll with a woman because I was like, at some point, like you could fall on me and i like if it was a man i would have my hands here on your chest and then and then maybe i can't use your titties and your titties are like this no-go zone that i'm avoiding so is your ass i mean i might grab a

man's ass to reposition him i don't feel good about grabbing your ass what if your boyfriend is over there and he's he definitely knows what he's doing because he's here and i don't because i'm under you i've had it also doesn't sound like you're describing jujitsu there is a super lovely husband and wife couple where i trained and uh they were mormon they were really like sweet and nice mormon jujitsu yeah it's true i really liked them both um and she was pretty good but i don't know if she had more skill than me but it wasn't close because i was so much bigger and stronger yeah and um but yeah you just like she'd lay there on her back knees spread and you get in her guard and if you don't know that just means missionary position it's exactly the same and it's just like this doesn't seem right but here we are yeah a mormon who can do that that's good position it's exactly the same yeah and it's just like this doesn't seem right

but here we are yeah a mormon who can do that that's good tactics it's like i demand a moment of your time to talk about your lord and savior federal government agencies federal government agencies recruit um extensively from from mormon uh like mormon groups it's not a joke. They exhibit... When you say government agencies, you're talking about the three like the FBI, CIA. Yeah. They find that Mormons are the perfect agents.

They have this stable background. They have this established history. They're often from the correct socioeconomic groups like they in case they get out of line the cia can be like hey ezekiel and isaiah and jeremiah and jedediah and suzy and alan and you know the the other half of your siblings are in trouble if you don't do this hey if you if you mess with us'll destroy your house. That'll be at least

67 people. They're people with roots, as another way of thinking of it. Whereas Enrique, who just like, I'm not here for a long time. I'm here for a good time. We don't give him top secret clearance.

Why not? He seems happy about it. I mean, none of us know shit about the cia compared to to wendigoon is that true are the mormons filling up our intelligence apparati do we need to be worried it it makes a lot of sense because like the cia they've been reigned back in in recent years but primarily like cold war times and stuff they were their own like dragon like the the fbi didn't like them other agencies didn't like them even at this day i know people in the fbi who are like oh those spooks i don't want to work with them like it's an entirely that's a different machine

and then they're like and don't get me started on the CIA. Damn, these guys are straight from the 50s. Just wrap the show 17 minutes long. I'm loving it. Good game, boys. If you're liking it now, it's not going to make you love it. I'm going to keep doing the Italian hairdresser all the time now.

The new character. I don't know how to do the voice good. The closeted Italian hairdresser. Your hairdresser. I've been watching videos about video game speedrunners all week.

These people who play the same 10-minute level 10,000 times until they're finally the greatest in the world. Like an autism documentary? Oh, my fucking God. I think it was a Contra. I watched an hour-long video. The history of the world record of Contra. And it was like, up until now,

and this is like 20 years into the game's life, every record ever had begun with 10 minutes until. And then they show the record with like music, like montage music is playing and the contra man is jumping. And he's like, not only did he try the three pixel jump, he got the flares on the mid level. In the factory level, he got the flares on the mid level in the in the factory level he got a perfect crane and like all these things are going right for him and he has to make all these risky jumps i love that shit i love that shit and and i'll start rooting for a screen name and a guy i've never heard of but penguin slayer would not be thwarted he came back and the music starts playing again you're

like yeah penguin slayer you could do it. You can take the record again. These people play this same 10 minutes of a level, like I said, over and over and over. When they finally do break it, my favorite part is how happy they are. They're like, no Orc Ultra! No Orc Ultra!

No Orc Ultra! Well, two days ago. What's that, Contra World Records? Holy shit. Yeah. This is well two days ago what's the world records holy shit yeah uh this is a summoning salt you're talking about right he makes uh yeah yeah yeah man that guy's videos like i'll never have heard of this game before and like you said midway through i'm like can he beat 10 minutes you have to have a perfect crane and perfect flares back to back. It's never been done before. I love his videos too. I watched,

um, so I got into doom eternal a little bit ago. I finished it now. And it was a video where the developers react to speed runners, which is usually fun, right? Developers are experts in the game, but the speed runners,

maybe even more. So it was the worst. It wasn't even doom there.'s how it works i i can't do it myself but i guess if you're near a surface that's an incline if you jump repeatedly while like on that incline you get super high like i don't even know two miles high and you can skip almost the whole level and they bind their jump to their scroll wheel and just you know you un-release it and it goes so now they're like spamming jump and then they open the uh weapon selection screen which puts the game in slow motion so now the game's in slow motion they're jumping and the developers just never expected someone to hit jump what is effectively like whatever, 4,000 times right away.

And I'm looking to see someone who's amazing at Doom, and that's not what I got. No. So, okay. So what you want, so what you saw is called an any percent run. And that means finish the game, get to that last screen. There's different ways of starting and stopping the time between the nationality and the records japan does shit weird but that's an any percent that often takes advantage of complete level skips weird glitches where oh if you warp tunnels and mario is a good example where that's built into the game but there's a record for using the

warp tunnels and skipping like from four to eight or whatever it is and there's a different record for just playing the whole fucking game and not warping so i bet well i know there's a record for the guy who just played the game the right way if you will um and just powered his way through probably taking advantage of all sorts of crazy shit but not flying off the map that would be fun to watch i agree yeah but i i saw the same video as you and i felt the same way it's like i don't care i bet this was hard for you to hit but it's not the game that we play it's you breaking software yeah it's fun to watch like once right to see like that you can break the game because i remember watching like uh mario 64 speedruns like the speedrunners figured out that if you can like put mario on

the staircase and like angle him just right and keep like back jumping it's really funny because mario's like like making the noise over and over when you let go it's the energy of every jump charged up at once so it goes from like mario like hunched over like this and he just teleports to the other side of the map like it's hilarious but yeah you can finish the game in 16 minutes it's not like playing mario apparently going up that staircase backwards like that is a difficult button combination or something and i've seen that meme over and over the boyfriend's sitting there and he's like clearly clumsy at it but he's getting up the stairs backwards and he hands the controller to his i think maybe japanese, but he's getting up the stairs backwards, and he hands the controller to his, I think, maybe Japanese girlfriend,

and she's like, why are controls set up like this? What the fuck? And she uses his weird controls, and she goes, and like perfectly, like, rapid fires up the goddamn stairs, and I don't know what perfect looks like, but that's perfect. Like, it didn't miss a beat. It was just so

consistent. She's like, here. And he's just like, fuck this shit. I would be be on a speed run i've never been on the opposite side of that no it wasn't a speed run having an asian girlfriend's cheating at a speed run yeah yeah yeah yeah i think it's uh it's always been like a girl like here will you will you beat the monster beat the fucking monster man with two swords ah there's two of them this time oh yeah they do that shit to you and like i'll kill the two guys with two swords and hand the controller back it'd be kind of yeah look at this i got so frustrated at that game when i was nine or whatever the fuck that came out i wish i had

known that trick to just finish it in 15 minutes and go back outside. Aggravated as hell over that game. Being the other guy, the one that hands the controller to someone else is so it's rough for me. My whole life, I was that guy you gave the controller to, right? Not the best gamer in the world, but I think I was a little underrated because I played the objective. And I was pretty good at Call of Duty, I think. No pro, but better than people say. And,

but it doesn't matter what game it is. It could be fucking some SpongeBob platformer. You hand the controller to me and I'll get you past your hard level. Now, Colin is the best gamer in the house. Clearly, you know, Mortal Kombat, whatever.

He loves watching me play fall guys. Cause it's hilarious to him. Just like if I get past the first level, that's fine. You know, the second level, it's kind of rare and Colin's autistic. Everyone knows that,

but like he wasn't verbal until he was like 10 and he's still not great at it. So he messes it up. He's like, you're so hard for fall guys. And I'm like, yeah, I'm hard for fall.

No, he knew what he meant just fucking with you he's like i'm the tallest i'm the best gamer hey short stuff take a take a take a run one day when he's gonna open the door of his office, Colin's just standing there like, get out. When you die, does he offer you a father-son hug? Do you need a father-son hug? He's so big on hugs. When you told me that, that was so heartwarming.

I do this thing, he doesn't let me, but I try to stand on the first step when we hug, so I have my old height advantage back. That's so sweet. He doesn't allow it. He's going to start picking me up by my armpits and putting me down. That's gotta be like slightly encouraging though. It's like the equivalent of like old, you know,

frontiersmen who would talk about, you know, they could give their son a rifle and he could guard like, you know, the wagons or whatever. Now it's just like, you know, your son beat you at fall guys.

It's a different, different passing of the torch. Just as important, I'm sure. Don't worry about it. The modern frontier. The modern frontier. Exactly, exactly. It is episode 666. I want to talk about some spooky things.

So as far as demons know, your demon knowledge, Wendigan. Yes. You've looked into it a ton. What's like an indicator to you when you're reading a demon story that you're like, this is made up, this is fake. And what are the ones that get you like, oh, I kind of buy this. I think this could be a real one. So the thing that's like, as someone who like, you know, believes in it, like I'm a Christian, I'm not, I'm not like some levels of religious Christians will get to where it's like,

like recently I covered a video game called Faith that revolves demons and talking to the creator. He's like, yeah, I get emails all the time from people who think if you put like a pentagram in a game, you're going to hell. Like, obviously that's not the level I'm at. You've seen the content I cover. But as far as like reading stories about demonology or whatever it's typically the theatrics of it um for that same reason i believe possessions can happen but i believe that like 99 of them are fake uh because a demon's mo or like in within christianity right like the devil's mo isn't to scare people or be weird and strange. He's not just creeping around like, they're going to be so afraid of this one.

That's what most like demon stories revolve around. It's just to divert people. It's just to point them away from God or Christianity or what have you. Most examples of demonic influence throughout like the Bible or old, like, you know, religious traditions aren't even people who are like, you know, frothing at the mouth, possessed, yelling obscenities.

That's not even what they do. Most of what they do is just being like leaders, people who will, you know, take the poor and the hungry and push them back to some righteous way until eventually bringing them into cult activities or what have you. I would say that there's, in my belief, there's a lot more possessed people in places of power or what have you than there are like, you know, satanic cult members. Like the Church of Satan and the satanic Bible, and that's just poser stuff. That's all a joke. But the real stuff, so to speak, is is just manipulation $50 wasted yeah

lifetime membership fee for Kyle there's a group god damn it this is horse shit the one thing that like I've researched lately there's kind of a white whale for me and demonology of like something that I think would make a really cool video that I think I could dissect but I'm a little afraid to, is this thing called The Lesser Key of Solomon.

Are you familiar with it? Is anyone familiar with it? So you have heard of this? Yes. Yeah. So The Lesser Key of Solomon is a book that was its final version, like the version that exists now was assembled around like 1720, like just pre-America or pre-government America. But the writings of it supposedly trace all the way back to like 800, 900 BC. So in the original Judaism lore and by extension Christianity, primarily Judaism, when Solomon, the son of King David, built the temple in Jerusalem, he used all of his wisdom and power to do it. It's believed in most Abrahamic religions that Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived because he asked the Lord for wisdom, the Lord gave him wisdom, blah, blah, blah. So Solomon, being the wisest man who ever lived, was able to

use a lot of powers of spirituality to build the temple. And again, in Judaism, it's believed, maybe not in their canon, but at least in Judaism-adjacent beliefs, that he effectively enslaved several demons to commission the building of the temple like the geometry of it is so perfectly done like the way the walls are cut it doesn't make sense for something done you know in bc time period it's like an architectural marvel for the time that it was built so one of the beliefs is that he used demons to do that the lesser key of solomon uh was supposedly assembled by his workers or the human workers at least in the construction of the temple the The masons, as they were called, which is where the Freemasons eventually get their name. They use a lot of the symbols and stuff from Solomon's builders. And there's whole connections between demonology and Freemasonry. That's another can of worms.

But with the construction of Solomon's temple, it's believed that perhaps he enslaved demons. So a book called The Lesser Key of Solomon is the traditional beliefs of supposedly how Solomon managed to enslave these demons. So it is a book that is made up of 72 different demons that describes their name, their MO, what they do, what they look like, how they appear, as well as summoning rituals. So like the things you're supposed to draw the things you have to do to bring them in and going back to what i mentioned earlier of like the thing that tips me off demon stories are fake is the theatrics of it the way that like you summon most of the demons in this book is like forget to pray for a day or um no or yeah exactly yeah which is so much

more menacing than just like oh dude you, cut yourself and draw blood or whatever. I need a bunch of chickens. Exactly. It'll be like, forget to pray for a day or don't spend any money today. Instead, leave it near your bed or like put the money under your bed or stuff like that. Like these subtle things that you don't think about at once, but it slowly lulls you into this idea of either self-reliance or trusting a demon in some sense. Stop looking to God for all your answers. Just, you can take care of yourself. You should be looking to yourself for answers. And then by

the end of it, it gives you summoning rituals and what you can ask of these demons. So there's some that will give you wealth. There's some that will give you love. And again, most demonic stories in pop culture are around, you know, oh, this demon wants to damn your soul to hell. They want to curse you and blah, blah, blah. But again, the way it's normally given throughout Christianity's lore is they want to give you good things. They want you to trust them. They want you to come over to their side because their ultimate goal is to point you away from what's true and holy. So because of that, there's nothing in the lesser key of Solomon that says, and if you do this, your house will burn down or you have to sacrifice your firstborn. It's all like, you'll get money and then everything will be good. Look at that. You did

it yourself. And because of that, it is the most menacing. It scares me so much. The concepts of it, it bothers me because like, like yeah you hear all these stories like you want you on youtube how many you know of summoning the devil at 3 a.m videos whatever like all those are clearly fake but if someone was to do like a lesser key of psalm and they're like oh look at that my stocks went up this week how lovely absolutely not it terrifies me so i've thought about doing a video on that but again as someone who truly does believe in it, at least to a degree, I am so afraid of like, being like, okay, hey, kids, so this is the demon's name. And here's his sigil. Be sure to draw this on your bathtub or whatever. Like, yeah. could have through you with your audience. Exactly.

You could put something out there that was seemingly innocuous and get thousands of people around the world to do it. Rituals, incantations, blood, all sorts of things. Sacrifices. He's already made me decide to spend money every day. Yeah. I haven't remembered to pray in a minute. I'm going gonna be honest i'm a little worried about that i just look the thing is if there was a demon out there like uh

i like the crossroads demons analogy or an example and uh supernatural basically you go somewhere to the crossroads at midnight on wherever the fuck demon's gonna show up make a bargain with this guy sort of thing like, save my baby's life. And he's like, alright, but I get your soul in 40 years. That sort of thing. If that were available, there'd be a line. There'd be a line.

There'd be a line of people TikTok-ing their deals. Absolutely. Yeah. There would be a reality show where the devil could make his own reality show with horns and hell in the background. There's last

season's losers and they're back there screaming in eternal flames and people would come right on the show and try. That's terrible. Basic macronomics tells us that as you increase the supply, this line, that the deals they strike will get worse and worse. You'll be trading your soul for like a tank of gas.

It's a tank of gas that never runs out. Yeah, I got had by the crossroads demon because of soul inflation. because of soul inflation. Eventually, they shut off the markets because the supply of souls is too much and they don't need to intake anymore. The exporting is already enough of a hassle. Yeah, the demonic fed is raising rates. You can only have so many people

who are rulers of the world, so that's getting complicated. Yeah, you got the demons have to be like, who wants something less, like way way way less like we'll take senator i got plenty of souls around here anytime just let me know we've got a couple positions we can fill out uh midwest states if you're cool with that he's's about to open up, I think. You can be the president. Hear me out.

Somalia. No, I'd rather be a middle class person here. President of Somalia. Dude, well, what I'm learning from this, you're saying the demons, they aren't traditionally scary in that

way, which actually checks out with Christianity. They want to imbue you with pride or one of the sins of thinking you can get ahead. But they also help people. They do things like curing the blind by the thousands, curing the death, the death by the death, the death, the death. So is this does that make you give any more thought to the mr mark of the beast theory oh yeah yeah are you wait miss mr mark of the beast you're talking about the mark of the beast from revelations right yes with mr beast you've seen those people on yeah mr mark i did not i should have yet have you taken it into your body yet

like have you seen those people on Twitter? There's a bunch of people on Twitter who are... I should have known that's where that was going, but that blindsided me. Thank you, Taylor. Yeah, there's a lot of people online that are convinced that he's trying to pull the wool over people's eyes by pulling the wool off of their eyes.

It's interesting. I won't say to Mr. Beast specifically, but I have to give a good transition before I talk about this or else it could get clipped so easily. But not Mr. Beast, but, insert another person, is similar

to a lot of Christian ideas around the Antichrist, right? The purpose of the Antichrist is to unite the nations. Christian ideas around like the Antichrist, right? Like, the purpose of the Antichrist is to unite the nations. It's not that the devil needs to win, he just needs God to lose, right? That's his whole purpose. So like, for one, the devil's a losing battle. The devil knows it's a losing battle. He's just trying to get as many souls as he can while he's there. And what's the better way to get people's souls by, you know, tormenting them, making their necks spin around and like float off beds, or to be an administer of wealth and, you know, knowledge, prosperity, what have you. And it's interesting to see like the shift that that had,

because previous to, I would say, Enlightenment era, all stories around demonic activity were about that. It was always about like deals with the devil that were made of like the devil was portrayed as like a false member of the clergy or perhaps a ruler or a king who'd come to people and give them, you know, wealth and wisdom that stories like Faust, you know, capitalize on a lot of those legends.

But then after the enlightenment era, after the, in time where, um, it was like the religious tone shifted from, you know, God being prosperous, the devil being prosperous, but God being a true prosper in like the afterlife. Once it shifted to these kind of black and white ideas of good and evil, like the devil, you know, pitchfork horns going around trying to torment people.

Once that cultural idea shifted, then our stories around the devil shifted. It went from, you know, kind of this person who wants to give you what you want into someone trying to trick you or someone nefarious looking to cause harm or kill as many people as he can. But again, Christianity and Judaism, that's not his MO. That's not what he's trying to do. I believe that about the devil. That makes sense. If you've got some sort of figurehead, he's got his own plans. But what about a rogue demon? That seems more interesting to do. I can believe that about the devil. That makes sense if you've got some sort of figurehead. He's got his own plans. But what about a rogue demon?

That seems more interesting to me. So, that's an interesting point. It's something I think about a lot with these things. Because there, again, a lot of the stories in the Bible around demons, like he's described around the devil. Satan's described as the morning star, right? He's described as beautiful, conniving,

wise, and stuff like that. But there's also stories about unwise demons, like you said, rogue demons, just their own things. Like for example, the story of the maniac from Gader. He was a guy said to be possessed by thousands of demons, and he would wander the tombs cutting himself. He had broken chains because the people of the village tried to chain him and he would snap the chains and run into the countryside. And whenever he approached Jesus, and Jesus looked at him and he fell to the ground, Jesus said, Who art thou? And the maniac replied, We are legion. We are legion for we are many. Yeah, which is where that that's why that line gets pulled into every you know, demonic story or whatever. And it uh jesus banished the demons from him and the demons went into swine that were in the countryside and the swine ran off a cliff like they were crazed so that's very different from like you know the conniving

dealing devil that's just like wild that's what constantine does if you watch the movie constantine with canna reeves now i'm sure they made this shit up for the fucking movie they're like so maybe we just throw the demon in like a pig and then kill the pig. They threw it in a mirror and then shattered the mirror. I saw a movie recently with, who used to the gladiator guy, he's fat now.

Simon. Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe made this movie this year called The Pope's Exorcist. I'm sure it's based on probably the last official catholic exorcist or whatever probably i don't know but it's you know it's a silly movie but at one point he takes the the the demon and puts it in a pig and then kills the pig and i can't remember if it was a real demon but or if it was just to you know go through the ritual for the yeah yeah mentally

ill kid there. I can't remember if they said which it was, but I like both of those ideas a lot. I like the idea that we could maybe... And that's what happens in the Exorcist. Spoiler alert. His father, Charis, was it? Let's the demon into his body and then throws himself out the window. Did he throw himself out or did the demon throw the body out

because it couldn't stand to be within the pure body of the priest? I think the demon throw the body out because it couldn't stand to be within the pure body of the priest I think the demon threw his body out it couldn't cohabitate within a body so you know that also had God in it perhaps because Pazuzu shows up in the sequels right

so then canonically it would be that the demon threw him out what's his name bladdy is the writer i think it's got he's got three names william blah blah blah bladdy or whatever the fuck exodus 3 is the true kind of sequel if you've ever seen that it's tremendous it's very good good movie yeah and i don't know the demon of course wouldn't tell you whether he lost or won in the first movie i suppose but if you know what happened it seems like he pretty much won in the first movie, I suppose. But if you know what happened, it seems like he pretty much won. The priest is dead, the demon isn't.

Yeah, and the priest suffers for all that time. Just having to watch behind the eyes as he kills children and does all sorts of horrible things. Are there any world leaders now, maybe of religious groups or whatever, that you look at and you're a little wary of? You seem a little demonic. I think Taylor Swift,

she does have a good reputation. She did the thing. She did the thing. What does that thing mean, Wendy? That's just an Illuminati. That means she's going to eat that redhead from Game of Thrones' pussy. That's what that's just a illuminati or that means he's gonna eat that red head from uh from game of thrones pussy that's what that means i was mixing it up with kyle i

thought that was a vagina sign i i see it slightly different i i thought it was only slightly ah yes because it's evil because you know uh ox is dangerous it is actually interesting it is interesting how much in like old folklore that like we like i know we're joking about it but in a lot of old folklore it was explicitly described as demonic like it's it's an evil it's so it's part of women's curse like of eve that like a part of the devil is embedded with her there's a lot of imagery around like this being explicitly demonic yeah oh that's that's no good okay and we know the vaginas are bad they mean death what about the pope what's he up to do we need to keep an eye on him uh i'm not i'm not a big fan of catholic i mean i've been open about

this before i'm not a big fan of catholicism I don't like the idea of you have a religion and now you're like, all right, we got that whole God thing, but let's just, we can run it. Let's put ourselves in charge, you know. I wouldn't say demonic or anything. I think that Catholic beliefs still at its core align with Christianity as far as the beliefs of Jesus and redemption. It's everything after that that I'm not a fan of. As far as, I think there's a ton of religious groups from out history that I would describe, if not demonic, then like demon adjacent, whenever they take like ideas of Christianity and completely flip them around. Like for example, Church of Satan, Anton LaVey and all that, posers, jokes, it's like they were just edgelords. The entire synopsis of the Satanic Bible is if God real, why bad thing happen? That's all they got. So I'm not considering him some mastermind or whatever. But I think instead, religious groups

who have taken large groups of people and then been like, yeah, oh, you like God and Jesus. That's cool. But what if what if you did it this way? What if you changed a bit? Like, for example, I would say Jim Jones. I would definitely consider him adjacent. I would consider Ervil LeBaron. He was one of the early members of Mormonism who brought a bunch of people to the desert, ended up being a serial killer, like had his cult kill mass numbers of people. Wow. When was that? I'm interested in that. Erval LeBaron. Erval Redenbacher. He's the popcorn guy. I want to say it was... Hold on, let me just type it in. His name's Erval LeBaron. People joke because if you take out the R, his name is Evil

LeBaron. People joke because if you take out the R, his name is Evil LeBaron. It was, yeah, like 1950s, 1960s, it happened. So there was this... Way more recent than I thought you were going to say. Yeah, there was this big schism within Mormonism. I believe the disagreement was over polygamy, if I recall correctly. Not a lot of people know this, but core Mormonism, like the parts of it that exist now, are actually super anti-po polygamy, if I recall correctly. Not a lot of people know this, but core Mormonism, like the parts of it that exist now, are actually super anti-polygamy. It's that there's a bunch of offshoots who have left the church because they're pro-polygamy. And Ervil LeBaron

was one of them. So he brought him and all his sister wives out to the middle of the desert. I want to say it was Nevada, Nevada, New Mexico, one of those. And there was a bunch of other Mormon leaders who would preach against him, who would say that he's a, you know, he's a, what's the word I'm looking for? Yeah, well, that too. But whenever someone is trying to divert people away from the church, like a false prophet, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he was a false prophet. He was a heretic. That's the word I'm looking for. A heretic. That he was trying to push everyone away from the truth. So he would have his members

like roll over to that other church at night and they would like stab preachers to death. There was one point that he was going to go on trial. The big event of Ervil the Baron's life is right before he was finally caught. There was like three people that were going to go on testify against him. And within an hour, all three of them got executed like around the state at different locations. He had planned it that at the same time there would be men in each town. Like one got shot with a shotgun. Another was stabbed to death. Like it was like a Breaking Bad level hit like all at the same time. Because Ervil... death like it was like a breaking bad level hit like all at the same time because because because herbal lebaron had such a grip on his father that's what happens to liars taylor

they were smited by god almighty for their filthy lives about the great Kevin Spacey. I'll tell you what I would sell my soul to a crossroads demon for. Go back and make Kevin Spacey fix that last season. I want to see what was going to happen. For one season of a show that was already bad? For one season of a show that was already downhill, I want to know what Doug was going to do. I want to know if he was going to kill that bitch wife of his i want to know i need to see it bring kevin back hashtag safe spacey

all of his accusers are either dead or gone and i'm not sure that proves his innocence like you're implying it does not dude the list of this guy's wives and accomplices on Ervil LeBaron is insane like yeah he had like 60 kids and they included in that and also raised a couple of

step kids as though they're like pumping his tires a little bit here it seems like thank you seems like a bad guy killed on behalf of the cult that's a whole column in this enormous table killed on behalf of the cult why why why why why why why like a lot of yeses that they killed on behalf of this call so how did so how old was he old enough that his Here's my question. I'm imagining, I know you all haven't seen it, but the

TV show about this where the guy had Under the Banner of Heaven. Were his children, he had 60 kids or whatever, does that mean he had an army of sons? You can imagine when that would be very formidable. Yeah.

If you had 20 grown man sons that would be difficult to deal with the guy who has 20 sons who are like 18 or older that would be a problem not as difficult as the guy who has 41 sons without a big brother but I hear about this circumstance where someone beats up your little brother and then the big brother goes and beats them up. If there's 41 bigger and bigger brothers,

if you start pulling the totem pole, it's going to be a long fucking day before you get to the dad to say anything about anything. It's like a video game. He sends out the C-team first, and then you have to be the boss son who he had with an enormous Mormon bitch. He just sends two mean girls. He sends his two meanest daughters to get you first. It's funny too because this is going back to medieval times thought.

It's like I have to have so many sons because if not, this castle is getting destroyed. We got to have more kids. if not this castle is getting destroyed like we gotta have more kids yeah yeah i thought like i need like 15 sons because eight of them are gonna die in the the wars they're conscripted into or a childbirth like like a quarter don't understand how germs work yet so that's gonna take a few we don't know what they are but we're really afraid of them like people just die it's weird they can't imagine how hard we pray. Back in the day, it was just like, the only conception you could have of germs

was like, even them being airborne was just because you would get sick even though you didn't touch the gross person. That's the only way they could know. It's like, okay, so something's clearly going around here. They thought it was the stink of the dead body. Like, oh, no.

The vapors of it got me that's that that would make you ill like they're almost which they were close that was like they were close enough yeah there was um this thought process this was right before germ theory came around i want to say it was like american civil war i think it lasted like spanish civil war so like 1880s the idea was if you were a doctor operating on living patients right so like someone an amputation gunshot whatever the idea was that the blood of the living is good right because they're not dead the dead bad life good so if you get a bunch of blood on your hands and you let it cake on and harden, that acts as a protective layer against other things. So the idea was if you were working on people like in a medical tit, never wash your hands because you're supposed to have as much coverage from one person to the

other. And then they tried washing their hands during World War, and they're like, oh, we're having like a 98% survival rate over last year's demographics. This is incredible. Isn't that like the Florence Nightingale story? She was a big advocate of washing your hands. A lot of people at the time were like, shut up, you dumb bitch. Where's my blood bucket? Meanwhile, a bunch of pussies really.

They don't understand how inoculation works. I bet there was a Muslim guy somewhere really washing up that same year. There was a Muslim in the desert. Oh, those fools. They knew, didn't they?

A lot of Middle Eastern countries did. You're right. A lot of cultures figured it out way before that. Yeah. I have a working immune system. Healthcare sucks. Healthcare is still great. The Romans figured that shit out.

They washed their hands. I was watching a thing. They were talking about that device that was invented apparently during World War I. When you break your, what's the bone from your hip to your knee? Is that a femur? A femur. So when you break your femur that the biggest bone in your leg the muscles pull the the hip to the knee because they're you know they're under pressure and the bone is now broken so that bone slips past that each shaft slips past the

other and so the death rate of someone who had broken their femur was massively high it's like a career wound this is a career ending yeah you're muted kyle oh we lost you kyle it's a career ending injury if you're you know your career is fighting in a trench or fighting the unions or the confederates all those all those guys man he got so mad he was like i'm done with this he got so pissed that he's he's being disproven that demons exist i have a suspicion that it's hardware you're still muted one two three four oh yeah there he is so um it would be a career-ending wound to say the least you'd fucking die and uh they created this device that just stretches the leg back out it looks like it's kind of like a superstructure

that goes over your hip all the way to the end of your leg like a birdcage type apparatus is it like a chinese finger trap no but more like a i think that's what the leg does you know stretches the leg back out so they can get those two shafts together so they can mend. And then the death rate just plummeted. Like that one thing was what they needed to do. Can you imagine growing up, like getting hurt in a time where the bone saw was the doctor's most common implement? Dude, I would be, I've broken every limb. Do you know what it would look like? I'd be a worm.

You wouldn't be Woody. You'd be Stumpy. No, he'd be Woody. He'd be the guy with two wooden legs. He'd be like that. He'll never sink. When I broke my left

arm to set it, they had a thing that was basically you know the Chinese finger toys you put your hands in and when you pull them they get tighter it was a device like that it was for six fingers I'm not sure why but it had like six little finger traps they put your hand in it and then they put weights on your bicep

and it just pulls your form apart that's how they set bones yeah I've been trying to find like i've been reading a bunch of horror anthology books and shit recently i bought the the necronomicon the compilation hp lovecraft's his short stories like any anthology book a lot of hits a lot of misses what's what's a purportedly true story wendigo and that you would you would point me to that has a shit ton of lore around it that might actually

scare me it doesn't even have to be it doesn't have to be demonic it could be anything in your like the spooky realm you inhabit a true story though right yeah something that like i could look to it and it could even be like we don't we don't even know why this happened but it did the ones that always freaked me out are disappearance cases like you know got into thin air type things um i recently did one about the yuba county five that case freaks me out a lot but i think i have a decent explanation for it it's not a fun answer but it's like something that doesn't involve supernatural right is that like a murderer case uh maybe it's five guys went up into the

mountains um under very weird circumstances they were never supposed to go up there it's a long story um but four of them their bodies end up being found one disappeared a lot of beliefs are that the one who disappeared was the guy who murdered. I made a video about it recently. I don't think that's what happened. Instead, I think that he was forced off the mountain. I think the boys were chased by someone up there, which isn't a fun answer. That doesn't make you feel better, but it's not explicitly supernatural, like a lot of explanations around those stories tend to be some of the ones that I would say

are more creepy in their unexplained nature are the case of Dennis Martin I made a video about that and my conclusion at the end was like oh, who knows I don't know, but it's scary, isn't it guys? anyway, that's weird. See y'all next week. The case of Dennis Martin's

up there. The case... Oh, what was that point? Hold on, hold on. Let me type this in real quick. You're good. Boy... Such an innocent name. Yeah, he was six, I think. He was five or six.

Garrett Bardsley. That's the other one i was thinking of this this was a boy scout he was out on a fishing trip with his father uh and it i can get into the details of these if you want but if you just want the names garrett bardsley uh dennis martin and then there's one more um carried let me i can put it like the highlights of the case and typically it will pull up. Jared at a Darrow Spanish show Jared J. J. A r y d and then added arrow at a D e r o. Those are ones that it's kind of like, yeah, Taylor, go read that and tell me what you think because I have no idea. That's weird. That's creepy. The into thin air stuff tends to mess with me a lot. Cause typically the like details around it are so, so bizarre that it's like, I don't know,

maybe, maybe his entire family decided to kill him for no reason. Like that's the only thing that could make sense in a lot of these um the unexplained stuff tends to keep me up at night uh so yeah i have fun i wrote all those down i'm gonna listen to all what about the jared garrett and dennis what about the events that fire in the sky are based on that that logger from oregon or wherever he disappeared for multiple days three to five or something all of his buddies saw the light they were all out there working logging he got separated when or went to investigate the light goes missing days later naked and passed the polygraph for whatever

that means you know yeah yeah but but but still passed it um and says he was abducted by aliens and they did gruesome experiments on him. So that's another one of those cases that's kind of like, yeah, I mean, whatever you say, like it's such bizarre the circumstances, I can't pin it down. I haven't researched that one the way I would like a video topic because I haven't made it. But from what little I do know about that case uh my idea around it was always either an intense psychosis like from him like maybe maybe he decided to fake the lights in order to trick his friends and then like make up this whole story or whatever either out of some level of wants to be famous i guess or psychosis like i said but even then that's exactly come on Exactly. Come on. When you say fake the lights,

can you backfill me? I got a little experience in pyrotechnics and such. I'd have a hard time fooling y'all that the aliens were over the hill. Yeah, exactly. In this story, there were alien lights or supposed alien lights that people claim to have seen.

Kyle knows. Again, i haven't researched him well kyle probably knows there was a bright light over the hill like a blinding light that they didn't want to investigate because all the other grown men were afraid and this guy's like oh and runs off and doesn't show up for days and when he comes back he's like naked in a phone booth somewhere calling 9-1-1 um but but yeah the aliens are incredibly sexually aggressive they were um if you watch that scene it's so upsetting because they're very matter-of-factly like it's like when you see the crocodile hunter with a with an animal

like oh look at this fucking measure staple this through its fucking ear yeah they don't feel pain like we do fucking roll them over let's shove a finger or two up his ass see what yeah it's the cloaca yeah yeah she's almost ready yeah yeah did you wash your hands fuck it roll her over like being peeled alive on an alien table screaming and they're like, that's just air releasing from its own. They just feel a sense of pressure. Like a bitch. You're just, ah, stop it. And it's like, wow. Yeah, that's air escaping.

Hey, breathe it. Yeah, I know. Inhale, that's air escaping back in. It escapes the other way. Now, that scene in the movie is one of the scariest movie scenes ever. It's terrifying. It's one thing for someone to have you and want to inflict pain on you

because they understand it, but to be kidnapped by something that doesn't even have the concept of pain that's just there and treating you like another, I don't know, like a chunk of aluminum to be oared out or like an animal to be weighed and measured and cataloged. It's real scary. And the actor and the aliens

don't look super realistic or anything, but they're scary. They're scary to look at. It's the traditional gray aliens with the big heads and everything, but something about them is more predatory and mean, for lack of a better word. It's like they're aggressively like...

At one point, he's like... And one of them's like, oh, yeah, give me a handful of this brown muck to shove into its mouth. And he's just like... Okay, well, that's not even science. Can you imagine if like if you have we can't understand you've had like a lemur on a table that you're torturing and you're like we

need to get the information from this lemur's uh biology and its metrics and it's just like and you're just like no that's obnoxious put this quick crete in its mouth shut it up like no now it's not even science anymore. That's just a tour. That's just saw six. Like when they really lost. That's just mean. That's all that is.

I like the idea that to the lemur, a syringe. They're just like, he's just poking us with a sharp stick over and over. Like they don't see any scientific benefit to you stabbing them over and over. Like they don't see any scientific benefit to you stabbing them over and over So when when that thing like puts a handful of axle grease in his mouth, which is what it looks like It's like uh, it's like they have no idea that this is that max. This is magical axle grease It tells us everything you need to know about a human And out of ten lemurs hate having their eyelids cut off and mascara smeared into it We had to know if it was going to sting.

We had to know. We had educated guests. Turns out. From L'Oreal. That's the new sensitive of lemur eyes. It turns out 10 out of 10 lemurs hate it for some reason. We give it 8 out of 9 terrified lemurs. I feel like we should really

limit our bad animal testing to reptiles. We've got a ton of reptiles. No one cares about them. What did a reptile do to you? Yeah, right? Would you prefer monkeys? No, if we only test on reptiles,

then we only have products that are safe for reptiles. I swear to God, if Biden suggested something like that, everybody would be like, reptilian. I told you they're reptilians. No, that would be evidence he was a reptilian. He wouldn't want to experiment on his brethren. Or would he? He's just trying to lead the right way.

Both ways, right? Maybe he wants to know that his medication will work for him. We're testing new dementia medication for snakes. It's very promising. That's good. That's good. I still don't think he's going to run. I think we have money bet.

I think you and I have a small bet of some wager of some kind. How much did you guys bet? Like 10 bucks? Who knows and who cares right i remember a hundred was a number i don't know if they added to 100 or if we had 200 bets it was pretty significant yeah whatever it is you know somebody will let us know when the time comes but who do you think would i don't primary gavin newsom oh so i don't even know what the... If I recall correctly, Kyle had Trump, and I had everybody that wasn't Trump. And then I think there was another bet about who would win

the general. And I had... Oh, the Democratic primary? Is that what you're talking about? No, no, no. We're talking about on the Republican primary, Kyle had Trump, and I had everybody else. Yeah, gotcha, gotcha. And then, oh, okay. So, Zach is going from his memory,

so it could be off. He thinks it's $100 for Trump to get the nomination, and then we have another $50 on the general. That's not how I remember it, but you know, I'm known for my great memory. Again, whatever it is, it's on record. But what I would say is...

A record we will not check. A record that we'll be notified about that's for the comment section if we wish we're better than them a much larger amount than they actually bet depending on the outcome of course of course i don't think that biden is going to be the guy that you vote for i don't think he is going to be the guy that you vote for. I don't think he is going to be the guy campaigning when it's game time. I don't know what the protocol is for when you have an incumbent president who bows out. That's never been done before as far as I know. Maybe somebody got shot in 1897 and I forgot. Coolidge, I believe. He stepped down after one term. Fair. If we're

talking about Coolidge, then it's shenanigans anyway. We're in this crazy modern era where anything's possible. The USADA era of American politics. I think that anything could happen. I don't know what their protocol is for Biden saying, you know, after consulting with my doctors, my family, and Mr. Epstein. I mean, shut up.

You just had to get through the night, Joe. I've decided to bow out. My friend Jeffrey used to go to his island and have the best time. And leave the, but I, you know, maybe he says something like, I'm no kingmaker. I can't tell you who, but I, you know, Kamala is going to join the hunt for the presidency, the Democratic primary, even though you just narrowed it down to two people. She's joining it now, and she skipped that whole interim part

where you expose people and do your hunting and research. Forget all that. Here we go. Final four time. Final three or whatever. Kamala's going in and this will happen and that will happen. Blah, blah, blah. I'm not saying it's Kamala. For example, a name. I don't know who it would be.

Kamala would be a disaster. I think it's Kamala Harris, by the way. That's up for debate. It's not, though. It's Kamala. What am i saying that's different than kamala is incorrect yeah it's like comma isn't this like caramel and caramel no i think it is like you know why it matters it for some reason don't let him tell you different republican pundits mispronounced her name as like an intentional disrespect for like a year

and people are like it's kamala like tucker carlson got called out on it famously they're like this is your job you do this every day for a living you get paid tens of millions if not hundreds of millions of dollars for this you know her name but you're intentionally mispronouncing it why why are you doing that it seems i didn't know it was a board of contention yeah you're not i didn't mean to suggest you not i mean i think she's a fucking sounds better but uh but you're telling me that she wants us to hit that kamala well it i don't know believe versus believe like you put the accent on the wrong one it's kamala kamala yeah the emphasis i meant to say the emphasis is on the k like kamala anyway kamala i i genuinely still don't know how to say it but i will it is a made-up name as far as i

know vp harris all names are made up woody i call her i call her kh we're tight yeah um yeah anyway it's interesting both presidential candidates kind of have a thing hanging over their head with Biden it's like is he gonna live is he gonna bow out like what's gonna happen with this age thing with Trump that exists too um he did just say that he beat Obama and Biden's going to lead us into World War II. But he also has the prison thing. Biden's mastered time travel and he's taking us back to World War II. That was Trump. I would love that.

A couple clips of Trump golfing. I've seen Trump golf poorly and well. I've seen both. But who are those guys that do like the back off Like like challenge thing at the T I don't know but I know of them What is that so but you know They crack the funniest

Fucking on the spot riffing jokes On like this guy looks Like he doesn't pay his child support Yeah during golf Yeah like this guy this Guy's a professional at cheating on his wife wet Hair and everything look at those socks looks like he doesn't pay his child support. Yeah. During golf? Yeah. This guy's a professional at cheating on his wife. Wet hair and everything. Look at those socks.

As they're teeing off, and I saw him giving Trump some, and it was great. They're like, what did he say? Oh, that drives shorter than your second presidency. This is some good stuff. How long has Joe been seen of? Long time. Long long time and he's fucking and like half the time it's like all right fucking late and they do the thing they draw

the red line because i can't see the fucking ball that is helpful to go anyway i don't care where that fucking little ball goes but he hit it in the straight line and it went there and then another time they're like ah fuck you shanked it oh go brandon or whatever i've definitely seen clips of trump golfing where i was like that's better than i thought he would be at golf and then i remind myself like old tons of old people are incredible at golf like he's not good enough to go play in the old person tour the senior donald trump has the advantage of having probably played more rounds of golf and than most people who aren't professional golfers and having being being being able to have probably played with some pros and gotten

professional advice i bet he's had good trainers and stuff although i imagine with a narcissist like that who actually believes this the smell of his own shit and everything it's probably hard to hire a pro because immediately he's got that steven seagal thing where he's like oh yeah i'm a master as well actually let me show you something on your grip oh really i would go the other way that like if i was doing something like that with a pro i feel like it would open me up to be like well i'm no professional like you i I miffed that one. Not someone like them, though. Yeah, I guess I'm a similar to him.

This guy was talking about he's a stunt coordinator slash actor because sometimes they'll be like, yeah, you look tough. You stand in the background. You're henchman number three. He's that kind of actor, and he's on the Steven Seagal thing, and they're like, Sensei Seagal will be here in a minute. Here's the thing. Even if he asks you you do not tell him you have any martial arts training he will challenge you he will challenge you and it's like

that guy is such a piece of shit and and sure enough like like when they when he talked to him like i think he bowed to seagal and in a way that seagal like, you train martial arts? He smelled it. Yes, sensei, I'm a fucking third degree Yoko-Tan at fucking blah, blah, blah. Ah, you know what? I was supposed to beat this guy up today, but no, I like you. I like you.

No fight today. Move the cameras over there. Lighting up here like this. I'm just gonna, I don't know, pull out a knife and stab him. He's just like that steven seagal he decided that like my key wasn't right or my energy was off and he didn't want to fight me that day because i was a nice guy like but then you also hear that he actually beats up

those stuntmen and if you watch some of his shittier movies it's like he hit that guy in the face you just punched stuntman number eight in the ear you son of a bitch like like he's actually hitting and kicking these people that's why his kicks and punches do look good and his fights can look actually violent because he's yanking their joints and fucking twisting their fingers backwards like it's middle school and shit hard as fuck trump is a better golfer than i thought he was according to sportingnews.com he's a 2.8 handicap. Come on. See, I have a hard time getting past my own bias,

but he does shit like this. Now listen, he'll hold a golf tournament. The tournament runs like Saturday, Sunday, and then he will claim the win and say on Friday before you guys got here when nobody was watching, I got a better score than all of you.

I'm counting it as a win for me. That's serious horseshit. That sounds more like tax evasion or something. Maybe he's filtering the prize money to himself or something. And like everybody who's there knows that Trump always wins. He just recently posted a score. We talked about it on this show where his score was like it was the same or better than the score for the winning PGA tournament there. Although perhaps the course is different.

This is a good – this is like a really good handicap, but this isn't like a scratch golfer. Like he's not claiming like he's that elite at it. Like if you went and competed 2.8, it says, which is like... Does that mean you're giving him 2.8 on the round of 9 or round of 18? It means an 18 per shot. He'll be 2.8 above par. That's insanely good, right? That's very, very good.

It's not like PGA level, but for for anyone casual that's great if you're like a casual golfer that's excellent but like if he went out there with pros and like the senior tour he'd get smacked yeah pgas are always in the negative um but like the top you know 50 places are whatever but like i think that's what kramer they asked kramer what his handicap was he's too over par that's what the pros shoot, right? If you're lucky. My dad would beat Trump very easily in golf. What do you mean? Yeah, my dad golfs all the time.

He's like a scratch golfer. He's very, very good. Okay. He's like one of those people, like, when I golf with him, I'm, like, kind of annoyed. Like, the sound the ball makes when he hits it with the driver is like it's like a video game can i ask you a question do you always play on the course that he plays when you visit your dad no he'll play he'll play on any course that's close enough to play on like he played he just loves the thing right there's a lot like what you're gonna get if i were mine would be unbelievably high i'm

not good but like 11 14 25 give me like if i'm playing nine holes give me give me an extra 12 shots or something that's what i'm saying i'm one of those golfers that like like with irons i i feel like i can mostly get it to go pretty straight but then putting is just an exercise in futility. And people will like, I'll watch someone else putt, and they'll be like, hey, Taylor, watch me. My friends play more golf than me. They'll be like, hey, watch me, and then you can see how the green lies

and how fast it is and everything. I'll be like, okay, okay. And I'll watch it, and they'll be like, ah, this is slow as mud. And I'm like, is it? be like ah this is slow as mud and i'm like is it like is this a slow one or they'll be like oh there's a big break right here aim for this area and like my dad will help me with stuff like that and he'll like hold his club in between me and the pin and he'll be like don't aim for the pin aim for my club right here like hit it with like medium power

towards my club right here read and he'll do the read for me and make me feel like i'm i'm better at it i'm still not sinking long i might be better than your father at golf i've never played so there's no telling how good i am there's no way to know you could be an abalone there's such a chasm of how difficult you feel golf should be and how hard it is. Yeah. You watch someone who's good at it and you're like, I could,

I could do that. No, you can't. Well, you hit a ball with a stick. Cool. Good for you. I don't know how to know which club to use.

I always have to ask my, my younger brother or someone, because they'll be like, what, what, how far do you know where to go? Like, Oh,

this is a nine iron shot. Okay. I'll take your word for it. Turns out the nine iron sent it right into the woods, dickhead. You call, moron. Idiot, I thought you played golf. A seven iron would have been straight as an arrow. I bet you're due for like beginner games because I know you kind of got into golf recently. A seven iron would have been straight as an arrow. It's fun. I bet you're due for like beginner games.

Because I know you kind of got into golf recently. I bet 2024 Taylor's twice as good. Definitely. I couldn't. If I start getting worse, I'm going to quit. 2024 Taylor won't be worse. I take plenty of mulligans off off the t-box you know that's a bad one do it again that's a bad one do it again but yeah it's is there like a number of

mulligans per game that people like kind of comment like do people like hey one one mulligan per round boom when i've played like usually it's an overlap where like my brother and my dad are avid golfers and so they're keeping like real track of their strokes and for me they're just happy i'm out there spending time with them and so like if i beef it badly into the water they'll like be like take another one no that one's in the water too take another one my dad will be like i've got like 40 low quality range balls just keep you know you can get it over there and then i'll be like i've got like 40 low quality range balls just keep you know you can get it over there and then i'll be like i'm sorry it's not gonna go let's i was gonna ask that do you always throw the ball away when you take a mulligan uh like what do you mean like so if it

goes into the woods you might be tempted to find it especially if it's on the edge of the woods but now you're gonna take a mulligan you're not even going that way so do you just use a new ball and no you agree to lose you swing by and like grab the other balls you hit so unless you like like but sometimes it's so bad that like i'm slicing it out of my hole over the forested area and like onto the fairway of the adjacent hole and then you can like see people golfing up there and it's like, I don't want to run onto their hole. That's their golf ball now. Idiot over here.

Sorry. My stupid partner did this. Did you guys, I bet Kyle did. There's a Reddit golfer. If I understand right, the group behind him called his group and like hit the ball towards him, which I guess is a huge faux pas. And he was there, and he refused to move.

He was going to confront the people by their ball. Did you see this, Kyle? Yeah, he took his shirt off and growled at them. Yeah, he's like – My kind of guy. He took his shirt off, and he's like, you've now witnessed the body of God. On the golf course. He took his shirt off and he's like, you've now witnessed the body of God. Yeah. On the golf course.

Yeah. Really like, like, like eight and mugging them. Like, like, you know, like flexed and everything. And, and, and everyone else is like, he's crazy. Let's just go. And the comments were shredding him about how, like, that was not the body of god at all that guy was just fucking ridiculous and he looked terrible and i'm like his body fat i think is a little higher than mine but our bodies weren't far apart and for the comments to just like tear him apart

you're way bigger you're way bigger and stronger than that guy. He was definitely average at best, but it was more about the ferocity that he was bringing to the table. I read they had struck him with a ball. I thought that was his beef. And he was like, no, you can't go past me.

I'm right fucking here. He was definitely mentally ill, but I'm down for that. If I got hit with a golf ball i'd say i was god too yelling at people i'd be pretty upset yeah that would fuck you up getting hit with a golf ball but yeah you're you're supposed to to wait before you hit the ball and you can always tell who the worst person in your group is because like my dad will be like i can't hit yet my brother will be like i can't hit yet and they'll be like taylor you can hit like you can hit five times there's no there's no world in which you reach that guy with no shirt on the green pieces

i have a very tactical slice i get about 100 yards of lateral movement so i like i aim way left the people at the hole over there think i'm coming right for them they don't know they don't know it's not coming at all did you guys see uh this was some hockey news, but I thought it was interesting. So Spittin' Chicklets, my favorite hockey podcast. It's a Barstool sports show. It's got Paul Bissonette, Ryan Whitney, some other guys. So they are like a players podcast. They have tons of players on the show to talk.

Are they retired players themselves? They're retired players themselves, yeah. And so they have players on, they're very connected. Because they were players themselves, they tend to get more scoop directly than like a journalist at The Athletic or something. And Biz broke a story about a week ago now that Mike Babcock, the coach of the Columbus Blue Jackets, was bringing players into his office privately

and then having them give him their phones and give them the password and then go through their photos like air playing it up on his office TV so he could see the kind of person they were apparently. Everyone in traditional media, they don't like the Spittin' Chicklets show for some reason. I think that's ridiculous. They were like, this is probably hullabaloo,

overblown, that's crazy. There's no way that Mike Babcock makes millions of dollars a year, one of the most famous nhl coaches the past 20 years like that he is having his players come in and then air playing their photos up onto a tv to scroll through and he wants to see their dick he can go to the showers that's their professional hockey players there's going to be dicks there's going to be you know probably nudes they're sending back and forth and no it was true he was doing that he was bringing players in forcing them to give

him their phone unlocking it and then running through the pictures and as soon as it like fully came to light they fired him they they fired him rid of him. I think that his contract is guaranteed, so he gets $4 million for this year and next year. So that guy's got a lot of fans. Genius business maneuver. I wonder what he was looking for. Like, he gets Taylor's phone, puts it up on the big screen, and he's like, Taylor, you're a chubby chaser?

You're a chubby chaser. Second string for you, bitch boy. There's an enormous amount of racist grass first of all that's ridiculous like that's a huge invasion of privacy i wouldn't expect that however however however although i could imagine being part of a team environment where that was understood if that was sprung on you that's different but i can imagine like if if if it's like look no fucking distractions this this year a or whatever those people sound like that picture's a bit of a doozy no gosh darn distractions this year gosh darn it a last year last year uh how many photos you got of your cock last year

eagle off instead of coming to practice he was at the fucking apple picking orchard with his girl. Okay? Unacceptable. They're probably looking for drugs and strippers and late nights that don't involve going to bed and practicing and studying hockey film, right? Because if I'm running a different sports, if I'm in a different sports league,

I see that that's like 50 50 of the issues that they have is guys who want to go to a strip club and and do that more than they want to like study film or learn whatever game that they're part of and that's like every professional sport right and you can't blame them you know they're they're 19 or 20 years old and you give them millions of dollars and then their teammates aren't exactly good influences usually they're like let's go to scores dude yeah i'd love to be on that team i would have a decoy phone filled with mike babcock photoshop pictures just him on like napoleon's body george washington crossing the river like what they do with the truck. Pointing forward, leading us. Pointing forward, leading us.

It just says, truck, trust Mike. That's your screensaver. It's like watching Mike. Just trust in Mike. No, no, no. Mike would go, all right, son, put your passcode in.

It's like, it's your birthday, sir. No, no, no. Scan your face, sir. Just scan your face. It's Mike Babcock's face. Unlock the phone. We love you, coach. I'm impressed. It's just 64 gigs of the same Wayne Gretzky quote.

It's just over and over. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I'm proud of you. That take yeah that's that's insane that he did that and like that i mean that's a horrible way to build trust in a lot what was the purpose of it was the purpose of it to like shame people for doing stuff like that like you said drugs hookers or whatever he said it was to like to build you know knowledge i guess between him and the players and like get to know them better and stuff like that. But it's like,

no one gets to know. I'd love to get to know you. And I'm in a position of power. No, to me, maybe someone's not playing in the Detroit Red Wings anymore. Maybe they're playing for the Michigan. Who gives a fuck in the minor leagues?

Hey, by the way, open your phone up for me. Let me take a look. Like that. It's so, it's so funny you mentioned that because that's exactly what you said when you invited me onto this podcast so you know I want to see the kind of guy you are and by the way this is not he's not coaching the Georgia Bulldogs there's no excuse for that behavior at all but at least you could be like well the Georgia coach had to make sure everything

was working because they're on the cusp again of repeating. They're the best team in the league. The best, you know, Alabama's old hat. Yeah. They might need a father if I was the coach of an Asian university. These are the Columbus Blue Jackets. They have no chance of having any success this year. If I were the coach of the if I was UGA's coach, whose name escapes me right now. Is it Kirby?

Kirby Smart? I would have a rule. You can own whatever cars y'all want. I know y'all have that NIL money or whatever. You can afford basically any car you want because you've got a quarter million dollars a month coming in or whatever crazy numbers it is now. Good gosh. Is that close? Yeah.

For like a star, I think it is. I think they're getting the money from games and all all sorts of other stuff merchandise stuff i don't know exactly how it works i haven't looked into it but i know they get a huge amounts of money still playing college ball and the fact that they're driving around in those 800 horsepower vehicles around town it's like 18 years old is shockingly irresponsible i would say, look, limo service for everybody. Everybody gets a limo. Everybody gets a limo. You get a limo. I have an Oprah day.

You get a limo, you get a limo, and you get a limo. First of all, limos are cheap as shit. Those are run-down old-town cars that they chopped in half and put some aluminum in between. We can afford 30 limos at the University of Georgia. I promise you. Just booze-cruise these guys around all night.

Everybody gets their own fucking limo. Get them out of those quarter million dollar sports cars, get them out of Ferraris and track Hawks and shit that goes so fast. It's just a race car in Athens is a real condensed area full of drunks anyway. And then the highway there is these fat is these two lane highways that are, you know, omni-directional not omni-dire highways that are omnidirectional.

Not omnidirectional. Two lanes going north and two lanes going south is what I'm trying to say. It's a dangerous place to drive is what I'm getting at. It's a real dangerous place to drive really fast amongst other drunk 18. Because everybody there is drunk and 18 years old. Everybody is. Yeah. So if you were the coach, you't look through georgia players phones

you just give them well you'd be more limos everybody gets a limo yeah yeah if i were a coach i would want to maintain like a level of authority where it was like i'm not your social friend like i we are like we're friendly but like i'mick-esque you want to be a real piece of all business yeah all business you get and look at him he's been coaching for a million years for the patriots i bet he's the longest tenured coach he's not you know playing uh you know patty cake with his players i assume he's not looking at their phones he's just like a real piece of shit is he uh yeah i can't remember which player he He's like, you know, you do the little things. Oh, well, you would say that, Mr. 28-3.

Yeah. He's like, coach would be like, that's an interesting way to catch a football there. Interesting, interesting. Everybody see this? Rewind, play. Look at this. Look at this new technique that Mike's invented, guys. Rewind, play.

Look at that there. He's like dropping an easy ball. Look at that. See how he doesn't look at the ball? He just sort of waves at it. Rewind, play. Rewind play. Look at that there. He's dropping an easy ball. Look at that. See how he doesn't look at the ball? He just sort of waves at it. Rewind play. Rewind play. Whole team's watching. He's like, we won that game by 30 points.

It's like, Jesus, that would be frustrating. That's why his team was good, though. He's drilling on the story of Peyton Manning and the guy that caught it. There was a rookie, and he was good. Pey's drilling the story of uh peyton manning and the guy that caught it so there was a rookie and he was good and uh peyton manning throws on the ball he catches it with one hand pulls it in runs successful play it's terrific they go back to the huddle peyton

manning no words points the guy points at the sideline go he's like what what's i don't know what's happening here and he's no doesn't even talk about it. Double points. Go, go. Sends him back to the sideline. The coach is like, what are you doing? Get back to the game. So he goes back and Peyton's like, go. And he doesn't even know why he's mad at him at this point. Peyton Manning is overruling the coach and telling him he's not allowed to play this game.

And then when the defense took the field, he explained to him, you don't catch with one hand. Not on this team. Never, ever. You catch with two hands and uh point was made i suppose and to like to put a little more comparison on like this guy this is not the first shitty thing this coach mike babcock has been there's a bunch of stories of him being accused of being just kind of shitty he's the guy that woody knows who mike madonna is one of the best American NHL players of all time. And he was going to hit 1,500 career games played. 1,500. That's a big milestone. That's a lot. And Mike Babcock, who was his coach at the time, sat him intentionally one game

so that his career total at the end, everyone knew he was retiring this season. So his career total of games would be 1499 instead of 1500. Like everyone knew what he was doing. And he just spitefully sat Mike Madonna who had had a, you know, one of Stanley cup, like very successful player. Very well.

Like, yeah, just shitty. At that time. That wasn't Dallas. You know, I only ask. It doesn't really matter. But I only ask because the Dodgers a few years ago did this thing

where a former player was doing poorly. He was mentally ill. And they signed him for a day or a week or something so he could get access to their mental health facilities that are provided to the Dodgers team. That's a good thing. Yeah. And it's like, God damn it.

Whoever it is, like the Red Wings or name a team should be like, hey, how about coming in for a game? Dude who played so many games for us and did whatever the fuck for us. Like, get your round that over. Have your 1500th game here. Yeah. Anheuser-Busch Stadium sponsored by Bush. The smoothest of beers, or whatever they do. Like, find a way to make it work.

You told the tale last year of John Tortorello. How close did I come on that? John Tortorella, yeah. Tortorella, taking over the Flyers. He was going to impose discipline and turn them around and become winners until the team eventually mutinies and hates him so much because he works them too hard. How's it going?

Well, the Flyers are still really bad. eventually mutinies and hates him so much because he works him too hard how's it going well the flyers are still really bad and so i but i haven't heard anything about the whole team rioting yet and so what will likely happen is he'll be the coach for either this year or this year and next year they'll like start to turn around and then once they're like on the track to turn around he'll get fired and they'll bring in a better coach because that happens to that guy all the time. His players get so sick of his shit that they just can't deal with him. They should bring in Mike Babcock.

Careful what you wish for. Yeah, they're not going to bring that guy back anymore. I can't imagine. I don't think he cares. He made like $40, $50 million from the Toronto Maple Leafs. But besides the invasion of privacy, had he done anything else that was borderline?

What did he do? What'd he done? What'd he done? Did he win enough? That's really the question. What he done did. What'd him do? What'd him do? Worst things

Mike Babcock. Yeah, you see what I mean? I'll say this. I remember hearing about Bobby Knight and the worst thing they could conjure about Bobby Knight is like, did you know that when they were losing... Johan Franzen, former NHLer, ex-Red Wing, calls Mike Babcock, quote, the worst person I've ever met.

He's a bully who was attacking people. It would be a cleaner at the arena in Detroit or anybody. He would lay into people without any reason. That's funny. That sounds cool. The cleaner opportunity asshole is what I'm'm here let's get him on the podcast i'll tell you what this guy means to say mike babcock accepts nothing but perfection he will not tolerate he is intolerant of imperfection imperfection and so we were all in his midst lesser. We were weighed,

measured, and found wanting, and yet we strove to be winners, and he led us. That's what he should be saying. I bet they won a lot of fucking games under Mike. You were weighed in the balance of found wanting. I bet he's from one of those Scandinavian countries that are slowly changing demographics. Rapidly,

I mean. Rapidly changing their demographics because they're losers. They're losers. Vikings.ly, I mean. Rapidly changing their demographics because they're losers. They're losers. Vikings. Vikings, my ass. How does it feel? How does it feel? That's karma, isn't it? Used to just wave all over, just sailed all over the world

raping and pillaging. Here we are in the 21st century. I didn't recognize him until I saw his picture. This guy was the assistant coach when the Red Wings were good enjoy your lutefisk yeah lutefisk he was the assistant coach that beat the Hurricanes in the Stanley Cup I think

son of a bitch that bastard I do get you mean though Kyle like there is sort of a brotherhood like team environment where I could see but it's weird coming from the coach if it was another player like all right we're going through your phone let's see what we got like you know as a joke or whatever like that would make sense but the coach is what makes it

strange here's what i think i can imagine and you know his reputation is like sending people down for like not liking them yeah yeah i'm putting myself in the shoes of a player who's got like a couple more good years left and we, I haven't won a championship left yet. And I blame that partially on the work ethic of teammates in the past. And knowing that there were guys who weren't bringing their a game or a hundred percent, cause they partied or been drinking or whatever.

And here's this coach who's saying enough, enough with the shenanigans. Do you win a championship last year? Do you win one one last year is the cup at your house or dave's i can't recall who's got the cup tonight oh none of you none of you motherfuckers have it tonight here's what we're doing give me your goddamn phones all of you it's like you can kind of start to see what we're talking about and it's like oh look at this yog mirror oh how many titties did you wow this was just last night four six eight ten if only you had as many saves as you did titties last night

phone's still ringing they're coming in now If only you had as many saves as you did titties last night, Yagir. Phone's still ringing. They're coming in now. Hey there, princess. Did you know Yagir has a save percentage lower than his cock? You could get on board with that. But on the other hand, if you're just like, this is my first year here, eh? Maybe not.

That's my baby. What's this piece of shit frog-headed thing? That's my youngest. But the difference is, like, what's the worst team in college football? Well, it's weird because there's, like, multiple divisions. It's weird because there's so many different even though there's like ncaa football it's like well you you could probably play in a lower division right that's

probably where you should be like there's guys that have it it's more about who has the lowest expectations than who's the worst yeah right but if you were coaching that team you wouldn't give a shit about any of that you'd be like like, let's just not get embarrassed, guys. That's the team he coached, the Columbus Blue Jackets. They have no prayer. Oh, I didn't know that was a team. They're the Blue Jackets. I really dislike the Columbus Blue Jackets so much because I remember they came in.

They're supposed to be like a Union soldier. Oh, okay. Like that kind of shit, which is ret retarded i don't like it i don't like the jerseys i was yeah columbus ohio i was so pissed in like 1998 or whatever when they became a team and they were like announcing their name they're like the blue jackets it's like there's already a team called the blues there's already a team called the blue where do they and the yellow jackets there's multiple yellow jackets yeah the yellow. And the Yellow Jackets. There's multiple Yellow Jackets. The Yellow Jackets would have been a very much better name. I would have preferred the

Yellow Jackets. There's too many Yellow Jackets as is. Come up with your own fucking animal. I guess it's a Yellow Jacket. Or Entity. The Mets just made up a thing. I don't know what a fucking Mets is. The Flyers, they made up Gritty. It's like a Mets. He's the greatest. Everybody loves loves him gritty is a good mascot

because he goes around and kind of just harasses people like that's he sell battery night and everybody hit gritty oh i was going to ask you this because this would make golf fun for me in the movies sometimes i see a scenario in which a ball man and or boy is out on the range wearing some sort of armored protection and I'm allowed to drive balls at him while he's sort of... You know that

whole bit at the carnival where the guy's like, come on, you pussy. Is that as hard as you can throw? And you're like, give me three more balls. Because you're a big man. The worst... I'm sure those guys get beaten up occasionally. That's the TikTok videos I want to see when like... Give me three more balls. Because you're a big man. I'm sure those guys get beaten up occasionally. That's the TikTok videos I want to see.

Carney's getting what's coming. I don't know what that game is called. Carney's getting their comeuppance. It's just a guy who was too good for too long. Beating that guy up. I'd knock out his teeth if he had any. You thought those multiple felony convictions were bad?

Just wait. You thought it was hard to get a jab? You thought it was hard to get a jab? Now who's going to not screw in the bolts all the way and the portable roller coaster? Now who's not going to have a final destination of preschool? That doesn't happen in America. I swear to God, I think in America...

Stop jinxing us, man. We're due. It doesn't happen because there are standards. Those guys, like, whatever. At some point, they cracked down on the USA carnies, and they were like, look, here's the line. Here's where you are. Get above it.

And they did. But whenever you see, like, a tilt here's the line. Here's where you are. Get above it. And they did. But whenever you see like a tilt-a-whirl and you hear, and it's going faster and faster, you know somebody's about to teacup their last teacup. It's game over for somebody. Or if you look up and it's that tower that looks kind of like a sombrero and they've made it into a sombrero then that it's all the swing sets thing yeah oh you know someone's dying when you hear spanish music and shit there's a mariachi band in the back and everybody's eating

that corn what is what's that that mexican street corn somebody's dying on that ride american rides i trust i would get on a carnival ride and i have i've been on tons of cars that is true that every time i see a video of like someone dying on a carnival it is outside of the u.s but yeah uh my fiancee she still will not step foot in a carnival because i want to say 12 years ago 11 years ago she was at a carnival you know the scrambler the one that it's like it's like a triangle shaped three different seats of two and they spin as the whole thing itself spins around that's what i was calling the teacups there's yeah yeah like the teacups thing the scribbler ones are the ones that are like hanging off the ground you know it's got like the uh the metal rod that suspends them she was on that and then at the same time a whole

one dropped just fell off like all of it hit the ground. She was in it when that happened and she hasn't stepped foot in a carnival since. In the last 10 years, I think you're right. I've heard stories about that a lot less. Yeah. It's always South America or I guess South America.

I don't think I've ever seen an African one or a Chinese one. They don't have that technology yet. They don't have i've ever seen like anything an african one or a chinese one they don't have that technology yet i don't have the scrambler yet they don't you've never been to the ethiopian carnival no i haven't i bet the ethiopian carnival would be like riding fun animals right there's no deep fried foods everyone's just hungry as fuck i'm surprised there's no african safari rodeo that would be what i would do if i was trying to like make my mark in the african safari game

you got to get some of those skinnies on some of their native uh uh fauna and and you know see if they hang on to that thing for eight seconds you explain to them what a second is first because they don't fucking know and then you know use metric time yeah no they don't use time at all they have no way of measuring time this should be oh it's been one kilo second the seconds are shorter but they're very precise we should do metric time we should have like a hundred hours in a day we should have or 10 and you know 10 hour 10 minutes in hour or whatever it is 100 is probably better I think we should go 10 day weeks 3 weeks a month 4 weekends

4 days of weekend I don't want to discuss this again I sent you both a YouTube channel that explains why it's perfect the way it is time? no it's not how do you explain leap years then the Jesuits did the Jesuits.

Did the Jesuits do that? Hold on, hold on. I want Wendy to explain to me what the Jesuits have to do with. The Jesuits are the ones who built the calendar into the years, how it currently works, and they're the ones who reformed it. I mean, it came off of the Caesarian calendar, but they're the ones that refined it. So as they were doing that they were charting like you know solar constellations how time moves and stuff like that

and the way they were tracking it was by the stars you know full rotations and whatnot uh and found that there is a discrepancy of about a quarter of a day every year so every 365 days year. So every 365 days after one quarter day, or like after 365 days, the stars had moved a quarter further within 24 hours than they should have. So they backtracked that through all of humanity's history and said, okay, well, if we factor that in that every four years, there's another day, then this is what the timeline looks like. So they were the ones who figured all that out and put it in the calendar. I didn't know that. That's why the calendar as we know it is entirely built around Christianity, A.D., after death, Anno Domini, year of our Lord and all that, because the Jesuits were, Jesuit means follower of Jesus. So that's why it's all Christian based, because they were

Christians living in a monastery effectively. It's why it's all Christian based because they were Christians living in a monastery effectively it's why it's built out that way this is one of my new favorite YouTube channels it's called be smart and they've got a six minute video called I don't know the brief history of keeping time yeah and it's like nails exactly what we're discussing in six does it explain why there's 24 hours in a day? Yeah. Why they break it down into segments of 24, I guess is what you mean? Yes. That's my focus. I feel like there could be a metric-styled time. I think the visibility of 24 is a big part of it.

The way all those numbers come really close to making everything work in a full year long calendar. But yeah, I love that channel. He has a, he's, I don't know, it's called Be Smart for a reason. They try to give you little factoids every video. It's really fun. So you think that our Jesuit calendar is perfect? I think it's as good as it's going to get. I don't think it's perfect.

It clearly could be perfect. Well, you're always raving about this Jesuit calendar. Every time I see Kyle. Every fucking day we're getting texts about this calendar. Our chat is filled with how great the second is the minutes originally when the calendar was first set up it was only 10 months which goes back to like the divisibility thing but then they added they added july for julius caesar and august for caesar augustus in honor of what they did so it was broken up to accommodate that the months made a bit shorter and went up to 12 in honor of Rome. I don't have a big problem with the year.

The Earth spins about 365 times every time it orbits the Sun. So there's got to be 365 days in a year, roughly. That's just what you're working with. Boom. But I don't get why every day has to be 24 hours. Why it can't be something like 50 shorter hours or a hundred shorter hours. I remember, I remember having it explained why it's 24,

but I forgot. And I'll just assume Kyle's right with whatever link he was talking about. Yeah. Why is it 24 Kyle? I'm too high to remember. Video. You have to watch the six minute video. I genuinely don't know.

Give me your best guess. Okay. My best guess is we're measuring time based on the rotation of a circle, which, you know, a sphere. That's what it was. It's that you, it breaks down perfectly into quadrants of 24. That's it. Yeah.

I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. It's about the math of a 360 degree sphere as it moves throughout the day and how to time it. That's what it was. Because you've got multiple spheres.

Good job, HiKyle. Thanks. I do the best I can with what I've got. Imagine if I were on Adderall over here. I'm taking notes. I'm taking notes. Like two hours from now wanting to get in a huge argument about it like like flowers for algeron or whatever which is a movie i've never seen but apparently it's where they give the guy medication makes him super smart i have seen that it's always sunny at

where charlie gets the the same he parodies it but really he's just an asshole flowers for algernon was the first book i read that i loved i like every school assigned book i had read previous to that was a chore that i endured and flowers for algernon was just a page turner that i couldn't get enough of what why you're recommending books i i always recommend i was a kid i don't know if it's yeah high school or middle school like what age group okay all right never mind i had a theory but continue yeah i've never read that one how long is it like it was literally like 45 years ago no 40 years ago i don't know how long was the book you read in 1985 i remember like it's it's easy to remember the books

that I read as a kid because back then it was like this fucking thick can you believe they're making me read this thick I'm gonna look it up but I'm gonna guess 275 pages then every once in a while in school you got a book that was like oh we're reading Anne Frank's diary fucking 58 pages

those Germans are efficient firing through this. And I don't even have to read the whole thing. I just have to read the beginning, something in the middle, and then the end to make sure to write the little essay they want. It says 336 pages online. If the Nazis were worse at their job, can you imagine that bitch?

Like year after year the same shit. Because she's just up in that attic diddling herself, right? Page 375. She's not gleaning anything new about the world. Still in the attic. They did edit it down a lot because they didn't want the sex stuff in there, I believe.

You can munch a bit of carpet. Oh, please. Yes. Is the original version still available? The original? Like, is there a version with all the sex stuff out there that's, like, downloadable? Oh, they did not give us that version. They gave us the super school version.

It still exists. You can still find it. Yeah. Which is like, it's someone's diary. They're just like, oh, we should tell the kids of this. And it's just... The audio book has a little German girl that reads it. There's an audio book? Of course there is an audio book for everything. Yeah, I audio book has a little German girl that reads it. There's an audio book.

Of course. Yeah. Audio book for everything. Yeah. I do. But the diary of Anne Frank is my favorite audio book. That was a quick read. I remember liking that book in school.

Was it into the wild? Chris McCandless, the guy, the one where the guy dies in the woods. I made a video. I made a video about that guy really i remember my poison potatoes or something there's a lot of there's a lot of theories uh you're talking about why he died right yeah that's one of the main theories the poison

potatoes or there was a kind of like beetroot in the area that he ate that there was like a specific strain of that would make you sick or whatever i mean really what killed him was that it got a lot colder than he was expecting but i thought you were gonna say pride yeah i mean in essence it's like chris mccandless is an interesting one he didn't really value his life as far as like the actual living or like the the longevity of it he was very clear in his writings that he just valued the experience like to do something others haven't my favorite of his writings is that sign he left by his van that says please fucking help if you find this not a joke god save me very weak can't i can't i can't hike out foraging for berries it's something like that bears are

salivating yeah it says like if i'm not here i I'm out foraging. Please. His journal is so sad. Like, the last few days of his life. I don't know his story very well, but I choose to believe his journal has story after story of him diddling himself in honor of Anne Frank. I can't spare the liquid, but

let's shake one out. Float's getting smaller and smaller. I'll forage tomorrow. It's shake one out. Load's getting smaller and smaller. I'll forage tomorrow. It's me day. Down to my last bottle of lock and load. I just remember that guy wasn't a wildlife survival expert.

It would be like me going out there and starting a journal and being like, day one, I'm avoiding the very colorful plants, but I'm starting to get hungry. It's like day one, hour four. Hunger's setting in.

I haven't seen a sun-dried barbecue in an hour. Hour four. The 20-piece nugget I brought with me is running low. Don't you just hate it when you get a 20-piece, but they only give

you one dipping sauce. And who thought that ranch, warm ranch, was a good dipping sauce? I wish I had service. I'd eat them once gone. That's basically what his fucking book was. Just fail after fail.

We're going to hunt for rabbits today. Those fuckers are quick. The craziest thing is while he was in, he took pictures on a handheld camera. All he had with him was a.22 rifle. While he was in Alaska, he killed a moose. He took pictures with it. How on earth was this guy hiding in a tree?

He dropped down on it. You'd have to shoot it in the fucking head or the heart or something. I've never seen a moose in person but i understand from the internet that they are colossal beyond they're like their backs like seven feet high yeah they can talk so i i don't know if a 22 rifle can cut through enough thick muscle to get to the heart of a goddamn moose so you might have to shoot it in the eye i I don't know. Because if you hit its skull at the wrong angle,

I think it'll literally skim off. Like it'll just ride under the skin and dink off its head. I mean, look at that. Because parts of its skull are extra armored by the antlers where they grow under the skin. Shooting that thing effectively and killing it with a.22 rifle, let's

say we've got five shots, not 50. If we've got a Ruger 10-22 with a box magazine, you might have a bad day. Bolt action would be like in the video games when you try to do something like that. You anger it and it kills you, or more likely it just

runs away and you never see or hear of it again. It would be you don't think a crazy accomplishment would get the job done I mean slowly but where? oh it'd run away it'd run away how far would it get with a bullet through its lungs I think

I'm pretty sure a long way with a 22 bullet through its lung it would run beyond you'd never find it I've shot deer and lost them with a bow hunting bullet through it's long it would run beyond you'd never find it I've shot deer and lost them with a bow hunting and that was a deer this thing ran further than a deer I can run upwards of 8 miles an hour

that won't keep up with the moves in the wilderness and what if you catch it that's a wolf on the right yeah and those wolves are pretty big with a collar people keep pet wolves up there that's a wolf on the right. Yeah, and those wolves are pretty big. With a collar? Yeah, people keep pet wolves up there. That's a thing you can do.

Chris, I'm pretty sure he killed it with a knife, if I recall correctly. Which, like, good on him. You know what I have seen that's really big? Bison. I've seen those in person. Those are huge, yeah. Yes, I've seen those too. I think maybe in the Smok smoky mountains they have

uh like a nature reserve park thing and they have bison there perhaps yeah i may have been to the same place but i've also saw them when i did that motorcycle trip on the tat they're just wild like they're raising bison and out in texas i've seen a of... I don't even know the names of... Right, the various... The things that aren't antelopes, but kind of are. Exactly. So according to childhood science class, there's antelope and buffalo. Let's move along.

There's like 50 species of hooved animal in Africa. And so that dude had, oh, that's a kudu. And that's a Himalayan kudu. You see how its horns are black and sparkly? It's like all these weird hangbops or something like that.

That's what it's named. So many different kinds of weird goats and deer and stuff there that i've seen the coolest thing was that fucking camel i wanted that camel it was eight thousand dollars what are you gonna do with a camel though where'd you see a camel for sale eight thousand dollars and then keeping it alive is a thousand dollars a month yeah for $8,000, you could shoot it and that's what it's...

If you wanted to, because it's on a hunting preserve. Who cuts camel hunting? Exactly. Are they even good to eat? It's delicious. It's the most succulent meat in Arabia. Probably, but everything good. They say a sultan would trade five slings

for a camel's steak. No, it's not good. It's camel. probably but everything they say a sultan would trade five camel steak i mean i don't know horse is probably good and it's just like a shittier horse yeah i i don't know i i still think horse is the awful right i've thought yeah yeah yeah i guarantee you it's like jerky texture it's not that good of a camel just fat it's fat yeah it's fat yeah it's not a lot of yeah i thought it was like a canteen i mean i didn't think it was literally like you could pop the side of it with a straw it sounds like you did it was some sort of I didn't think that it was like a straw you're having your own chickens don't fuck

moment that'll never happen you still don't know where chickens come from vertical titties Zach says they're vertical titties they're not mammary glands they are

don't try that either Kyle Zach says they're vertical titties. No, they're not mammary. They're not mammary glands. Oh, they are. They are. No, no, no, no. Don't try that either, Kyle. Don't try that. They will not like it. Maybe. They like it. But the camel's name was Sushi, and it was like, Sushi.

And the fucking thing would come running like a dog, and you could feed it carrots. And you wanted to shoot it? No, I wanted to own it. I wanted to live at my dad's farm. I thought you said it was on a honey reserve. It was, but he has his pets on the reserve, too. Oh, okay. Well, that's a horrible idea.

Why believe your pets on a hunting reserve? Let me just say this. If you accidentally shoot the camel... What the fuck? What the fuck, Dave? It's a camel. What were you here to shoot again mike i forgot i thought that's what you were describing i thought you were like it's a camel hunting trip

deer hunting you're not gonna believe it i just killed the craziest boar you've ever seen i think zach's right about the vertical titties thing because I bit it without foreplay and it didn't go over. Campbell was definitely mad. And from what I know of women, probably. I don't know why you guys are down on horse meat. I bet horse meat tastes good. The French eat horses and they're great at cooking. Isn't the fat content?

For one, if you had like French cuisine, like true French cuisine. I've never been to France. I've had horse meat. They're the people who thought eating live snails would be a great idea. I feel like that was just arrogance on their part. We're so good at cheeses and desserts that we're going to make

snails good. They probably are good. I'd eat snails. I'd give them a go. I don't think I could bring myself to eat anything alive. I'd give them a go. No. I don't think I could bring myself to eat anything alive. I do like oysters. I would eat dead snails, but the way I hear escargot traditionally served,

they're always alive. Oh, really? I would prefer them to be dead. I thought they were all dead. Ah. I've had escargot. It was definitely not alive. I'm going to check that. Am I wrong? I've always heard that traditional French escargot it was definitely not alive i'm gonna check that am i wrong yeah i've always heard that traditional like french escargot in the u.s it's cooked i cooked escargot i would wager and and again i i only know what the youtube people teach me um i

would wager that snails carry some sort of weird parasites and eating them raw well you could end up with some sort of a fucking worm in them raw well you could end up with some sort of a fucking worm in your brain that tells you that you're the devil yeah i'm gonna only eat baked and then we've got out got to get out the key of solomon and it's going to be a whole deal and it's yeah you have to go through and make sure you're not possessed imagine if windigoon went crazy like legitimately like wearing clown makeup and showing up crazy okay and and that crazy utilized all of the weird darkness that he's read into all the theology all of the demonology fictional and non-fictional not that some of it's real

in the like brick and mortar way per se but some of it was meant written to be real. They're like, yeah, this is how I fucking call on demons. And it really was. He could be a real scary guy. If he ever snapped and had that cold sweat down his brow moment where he's just sort of fucking twitching out. You would. I Googled it it I couldn't find

any source that said they were served alive they all talked about how they were like their intestines were cleared while they're still alive and they're cooked alive but not served alive okay I don't care about a snail being cooked alive they don't even feel they just feel

just put that quick cement in their mouth that's what air escaping correct I mean I'd rather have horse than escargot anyway lots of cuts of lean meat are still good like I'm not saying

that horse would be in the same world as cow. They use horse in sausages, like hard salami-like sausages. They mix it in with pork and lamb or whatever in a lot of countries. I've had sausage, and then I was like, where did this come from again? I got a sausage sampler, and it had horse meat in it. It said horse on the back. Or maybe it didn't say horse, but it said the food industry word for horse. And I was like, wait, what's that?

What's that meat? I don't know. I don't remember. But I bet. Taylor, you live in a major city. You could get exotic food if you wanted. I could. I could get some exotic meats. I would try horse. I don't even know how it's served. I doubt it's like horse steaks. I bet it's something

else. Zach, find us some horse steaks i would like personally i would like horse sausage or like i could do sort of a charcuterie with um or maybe some some sort of breakfast sausage that's like 50 horse 30 pork 20 you know just pork fat or something i don't know i bet it looks almost exactly like a you know well you know what now that i'm thinking of you know, just pork fat or something. I don't know. I bet it looks almost exactly like a cow's meat. You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it. I could eat a horse. Thank you.

I was ragging on horse meat for being lean, but it can't be that much leaner than deer meat, right? I bet it's like the same level of lean as that. Nothing can be leaner than rabbit meat, though. That's true. And rabbit can be pretty good. You've got to sauce up rabbit. Maybe you've turned me around a little bit, Dale.

Maybe I'll go hunt a horse. That's not how you eat a brace of coneys. That's not how you eat a brace of coneys. That's not how you eat a brace of coneys. I need to rewatch that. Yes, add time. Thank you for the reference. The leanest meat available is Kyle's Tinder profile. He is lean.

He's so lean. I'd eat a slice of Kyle. I wouldn't want to eat him alive because he's probably rife with parasites. All that tests that you get in there, though, I don't want to eat him alive because he's probably rife with parasites. All that tests that you get in there, though, I don't know. 2022 Taylor is where the good meat is, right there. That's what you want.

You want that, just an absurd amount of marbling, the kind of steaks that you have to turn on its side just to render down that giant man. Is this human cheese-fed? Yes, he's entirely cheese-fed. It's like, that's cruel. That's cruel. How could you do that? It's like, he did it to himself.

We found him this way, trust me. You held down this poor man and fed him nothing but cheese for years on end? It's like, no, he's a free-range cheese-man. We gave him all the freedom in the world and he signed his own death certificate I love cheese anyway this episode of PKA is brought to you by

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Quality you can trust, pharaohdistro.com. Code PKA20, 20% off everything. That includes all the edibles I listed from the 10 milligram all the way to the 500 the pre-rolls disposables carts the dab x which is fucking incredible and something else which uh so i told me to try our wonderful contact over at pharaoh distro these these double doinks we all should have got some of these there's like a a joint in here that's thca i'll tell them to

send you some and it's got like crystals all over it and i smoked like a quarter of one there's two per pack i smoked like a quarter of the other one the other night and like it i got like too high from it like it was so much stronger than I thought it was going to be. So if you get the double doinks, if you get the THCA double doinks, these pre-rolls with the diamond-infused crystals at the top, take it low and slow. What are the crystals? Because I think all my jokes would make us lose our sponsor.

Yes, don't do anything. They are THCA diamond crystals is what they are it's thca crystals on there uh okay is with liquid diamonds that's what it says uh maybe i just got so fucking high off of it because i pretty much only use indica stuff like the the more downer kind of it this is sativa and so maybe that's what uh got me so high but i was just sitting there smoking it like i would like a cigarette just like not really you know paying attention to how much i was smoking got maybe a quarter to a third of it down and was too high for probably an hour and so take it slow uh they are not fibbing when they say this stuff is strong um if you're lower tolerance start out with one of the 10 milligram the the 25 milligram edibles

or get yourself a cart like this a delta 8 cart or a hhc cart all wonderful products they will get you pretty fucking lit uh so lit in fact that, that starts slow. Starts slow. It's accurately dosed. These guys make the nerd ropes, right? Yep. I gave a product sample to a family friend with a warning. And I was like, look, look, I don't know what gas station shit you've tried before or like fucking Mexican weed. This is different.

This is like pharmaceutical. This is the big shit and all the warnings i could come up with they didn't listen and they it's not like they even did the whole rope they did just like a bite of it or something and they were just very very high they learned a lesson that night they did and now they know that we're telling the truth in these ad reads accurately dosed this shit is strong as fuck if i i'm too afraid yeah the strong ones are strong as shit like the 10 milligram one that's going to be accurately dosed to 10 milligrams the 25 milligram one accurately dosed to that uh so check

it out pka 20 20 off everything there and the dab x and all of their dab little drippers, all those things 20% off as well. So check that out. Kyle and I smoke the dab X rig every single day. I know I use it every day and I would bet my house Kyle uses it every day even more than me because he's constantly using it.

I bet he's using it right fucking now. Yeah, look at his eyes. He just just his dab X. As a noob, kind of, maybe not anymore. But if you don't have any tolerance, the number you're looking for is somewhere like 10 to 30 milligrams. That's about right-ish.

So you can buy the powerful ones and then just take a third of it or a quarter of it. Like, do your own math. But I would want to hear that if I knew nothing. 10 to 30 is about your range as someone who's new. What you want to do is you want to get yourself a good movie. You want to get Mandy by Nicolas Cage. You want to get in a dark room.

Okay? And two hours before that, two hours before you fucking push play. Now make it an hour and a half because you want to ease into the movie as you ease into those edibles. Hour and a half because you want to ease into the movie as you ease into those edibles. Hour and a half before you hit play on Mandy. Eat a whole 300 milligram.

What are they called? A clusterfuck? Yeah. They are called clusterfucks. Yeah. And so if but don't take a 300 milligram or a 500 milligram one unless you have Titan level tolerance because you're going to go to have some high tolerance. It says on there,

caution these fuck. And so unbelievably strong. There's 500 milligrams in each of these shockwaves. Don't fucking play with it. And then tweet me. It was too much. I know I, I don't take whole 500 milligrams of these.

I'm taking nibbles off seeing where i get 500 milligrams is about what i take and it is a hot so here's what i do legitimately 100 i take two of the cluster fucks and i so it's a gummy that's covered with nerds like sour nerds i don't love sour nerds i'm looking to get high so i pick as many of those nerds off as nerds i don't love sour nerds i'm looking to get high so i pick as many of those nerds off as i can i don't even want to eat the fucking sugar and get get most of them off there i munch it a few times and i swallow it kind of like a pilt just to get it down i'm not i'm not this isn't the tastiest thing you're not eating candy you're getting fucked up we're not eating candy we're getting fucked up yeah one whole 300 milligram down then i take the other repeat the process and i sort of stretch it out and i take about half or two-thirds of that and i

just like bite it off and then i throw the rest away and that's about you know yeah yeah there you go so one and a half one and two-thirds of those and um i get so fucking high. I just get... Sometimes I'm afraid. I have told people, like, hey, I can't be with other people right now. I took too many edibles. And people were like, and I'm like, no, really, please.

I need to be alone for a while. I couldn't be with other people i was that high i felt you you will be i fully vibrate like my whole body is sort of not literally trembling but it's i'm trembling on the inside my feet i'm having i'm having internal convulsions you're um you're stoned out of your mind you're yeah it's It's a lot. It's a huge amount. So take it, take it responsibly. I don't like being that high.

I know we have a lot of ads to go through. Um, I lost my train of thought. I didn't want to bring that high. Oh, the candy. You guys have both said that as a candy, you don't really like it.

You like it as an edible. I, maybe my diet strict enough that I'm like, and I just love sugar. I love sugar. I don't take any fucking sugar off these things. I'm the kind of guy that lets other guys shave him. I eat every ounce of sugar on this thing and just lap it up.

I, yeah, it's a treat. It depends if you're, cause they are sour. So if you're a sour candy lover, you will like the way they taste. And if you're someone who likes getting high, you're going to like the effect of it. Cause it gets you high as shit check it out pk 20 20 off this episode also brought to you by blue chew let's talk about sex guys shouldn't you always be at your best 2023 is the year to maximize your performance in the bedroom listen up blue chew.com blue chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as

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a porn star who's who's using this so that we can you know interview him and he can be like we need a sponsor an athlete we need to sponsor an athlete. We need to sponsor an athlete. That's exactly right. Kyle, who are your, just off the top of your head, top 20 male adult film stars? I like Father Long. He does a whole Christian bit.

My favorite porno is called Come All You Faithful. It's made a big splash at AVN's this year. Are you making this up on the spot? Yes, I am. That's pretty good. I bet if you search that up, you'd find something.

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Are we done? Is this over? Is that horse meat? I wanted to ask you, before we go to the horse meat, I sent a video on the WhatsApp. Did you see Tito Ortiz on TikTok or some shit trying to slice an onion? I watched it. I got halfway through, and I was so goddamn tense. I brought Jackie over, full screened it, and we watched it together.

Yes. I've watched it 10 times. I've sent it to everyone. So for the uninitiated, Tothy's former ufc fighter he was he was smart he was dumb before he got his brains beat in for an entire career so he's a slow fellow now and he's like i'm gonna show you guys how to how how i slice an onion my style and then he starts like chop it it's like slicing this onion that he's like poor holding very poorly with this big fucking knife that you would maybe carve a roast with. And he's already been cut. But as the video begins, keep in mind

the music, I think it's from 2001, A Space Odyssey. It's this music that's very anxiety building. building. It's and it builds and builds with this craziness. And he's chopping toward his fingers and at his fingers. He's already been cut when the video starts. And then he cuts himself. And you're like, wait, did he cut himself? Yes. You're like, wait, did he cut himself?

I can't really tell. And you see a little trickle of blood. And you're like, yep, he's bleeding into the food. He's bleeding into the food right now. And this was his best cut of this video. He clearly tried another onion before this and cut himself and was like, ah, no good. Look at him concentrating in the middle picture. So hard. Both of the right pictures. Yeah, this guy is using every point of IQ he has.

And as someone who knows how to slice an onion the correct way,, like both the restaurant way and sort of the home cooked way. This is not at all. It was so bad. He's like holding the onion and making like a checkerboard, basically. But it's very dangerous the way he's doing it. I've never cut an onion in my life and I can tell that's not it. No, no. Tito Ortiz always, always just, no matter what he's doing.

He used to date Jenna Jameson, right? No, he's married to her, the porn star. That was one of my favorite Chael Sonnen bits of all time. Tito said of Chael Sonnen, he made his whole career using his mouth or whatever, running his mouth. And Chael's like, the only person I know that made a career using their mouth is Tito's wife. And all Tito could say was, ex-wife! And it's like, oh.

I'm not sure I'm right. I remember it differently. He's like, there never was no wife or something? Were they not married? I think I got it right. Okay. I'm pretty sure they were married uh and then divorced but uh but yeah yeah tito ortiz just a real knucklehead and my favorite home chef if he got a cooking show

i'd watch it i'd be way more into his cooking show than i don't know watching emerald lagasse or something who's the only home chef i can think of right now my grandma was so obsessed with emerald lagasse back in the day. It was on all the times. He's the guy who goes bam and throws salt on shit. It goes a little farther.

I was on target. Tito said there never was no marriage or something. Jail corrected the record later. Tito wanted you to know that he impregnated her but never actually married her he corrected that statement he wanted that known we have kids together but i never married her we live in sin god damn it i did not marry her i'm sure he he tried to get alimony from her but it didn't work out when he found out he wasn't

actually married. The jail just continued to rip him. That's pretty wild. I did not know that. The UFC's finally made some plans. Leon Edwards is going to fight Colby Covington for the belt. I couldn't be happier. This year in MMA is going my way, the kyle way if you will almost perfectly valentina shevchenko got a 10-8 and and it almost works in her favor because the fight was too close

the fight was too close um that the 10-8 is what made it a you know the draw and not a shevchenko win but still the fight was too close for comfort anyway so nobody even is talking about how close the fight was they're like what the fucking judge was doing dana white's like that guy should be investigated they're having a seminar about 10-8 rounds this week i hope he pays attention they're telling me that he's a good guy you know he's not a nobody what he means is he's not involved with the mob like that's what he's kind of implying they're telling me he's a good guy so i'm gonna believe he was just an idiot but uh but we'll see and he's like everybody's so mad about this that's all they're talking about it's like damn that was too close they're gonna

do the the three pete you know the third fight even though grasso has the first two wins that's the worst thing that's really happened everybody all my other guys are winning and like i don't care what race a fighter is if they're going to be a champion i really like you appreciate that they speak english and they be eloquent and if possible entertaining like the voice person silly be goofy if you want whatever your bag is whatever your your shtick is like be good at it colby covington's that fucking guy he's the guy who's just he's been he sat out for a year and eight months i think what a year and six months it'll be a year and eight by the time they finally fight hurt in the mass wasn't hurt his watch was broken exactly his watch was broke i think what i think he struck a deal with dana

white that basically says you get a title shot next and don't take Jorge Masvidal to prison and uh I think they made some kind of a deal like that or something because I don't I didn't know I didn't hear anything else out of that and then Colby didn't fight for a year and a half he waited until it's time to slide him in against somebody he can dominate because I think his wrestling is good enough that Leon Edwards can't handle it I think he's gonna just I think he's can't handle it. I think he's going to just take the belt. I'm going to bet on him with my buddies if I can. And it's going to be like so many...

I think we talked about it before that most of the male champions might be white at the end of the year if Stipe manages to somehow beat Jon Jones. I know, right? But that would be the case. It's been a great year with the UFC. I don't think Colby's going to win.

No? I want him to win because he's better on the mic. He's funny. I want a world where Colby is champion and gets that much airtime. But I feel like he's a worse Kamaru Usman than Kamaru Usman is. And Usman lost to him.

Okay. But I feelaru Usman than Kamaru Usman is, and Usman lost to him. Okay, but I feel like Usman... And ring rest. I feel you. All those things are true, although it's not like Leon's fought lately. He hasn't fought since. He kicked that guy in the head. I like his chances a lot. I think he

pieced Masvidal up. I know you don't think much of that, but he also touched up Usman quite a lot. I think he pieced Masvidal up. I know you don't think much of that, but he also touched up Usman quite a bit and his wrestling is fantastic and I can't wait to see it. I just can't wait to see it. Either way, the lead up to it, it's a weird way of phrasing

loss twice. True, true, but there's different ways to lose. There's some losses where it's like, a there's different ways to win to lose there's some losses where it's like he got knocked out the first time and decision the second time i think i think you're right but you know i'll also concede you look pretty good in those fights at times so yeah we'll see we'll see i love him he's he's the maga guy and it's maga season two like the time is perfect but it's um and season two like the timing is perfect it's um

and while we're on the MAGA we talked about a little bit like the bet or anything what is going to happen to Trump because I look I don't pay much attention to it because it gets tiring what it seems like to me is all of the senators and the congress people on either

side are very quick to lie to you and tell you, we got them. We got them this time. Everybody listen up. We got them. Left and right will say that sort of shit about whoever the fuck they don't like. And then the news media is so willing to eat that

bullshit because it sells every time. They're like, oh, press conference, Senator fucking Hatch has got them, so we're gonna all and then so i i i feel like the the guy who's not impressed with the eighth version of swine flu this year every time they come forward it's like no i've heard this before you've always got him you had aliens last week you had um a fucking senator you had the president's son the week before that you got Trump every week for

the last 10 years. It feels like you've had him. And, but, but this time it, if so much Trump stuff piling up, like it just feels like he's going to go to jail. It seems there's four cases.

I don't know if I can write them off off the top of my head. There's the New York one, the stormy Daniels thing where basically it, all right. So even if he loses that, I don't think there's much of a punishment, especially because he's Trump, right? You know, you got to be careful about locking him up.

It's the document stuff. Not just that. The documents thing, he's got a lot of problems there. One, he's guilty. He's just really guilty. The documents are there. He said they weren't. He just held on to it.

And he's gone done. He's gone done. All these press conferences where he kind of admitted to having them and said, I'm allowed to have them. It's like murder's okay for me, but it's not. And so he's kind of admitted to it. And then they have text messages. And there's some dicey stuff like coded messages. Like there's a woman that worked for him who's kind of flipped on him and talked about the things he would say.

So he would give codes like, Hey Kyle, you don't know anything about those boxes. Right now, what I'm telling you is I need you to behave like you don't know the contents of those boxes, even though she totally fucking does. And we'll see what the jury thinks of his,

you know, his sort of easily decipherable code so what do you think though like what do you well look at one more case there's the georgia thing where a couple people seem to be flipping on him already uh one guy's lynn wood he was like an attorney that got disbarred for his actions well he was going to get disbarred so he retired right before they were going to voluntarily disbarred himself. He appears to have flipped on Trump, and then there's Mark Meadows, who appears to have testified again. It looks like he's

going to lose both those cases. My question is, are we really going to punish him for breaking the law? I don't know. I wouldn't be shocked at all. If he just got away with it, if they're like, all right, guilty of fucking 91 felony charges,

suspended sentence, suspended sentence, you know what? Home arrest until Friday or something like that. That's my question. I don't know that really, even the people on his side, aren't claiming he's innocent they're claiming

that an ex-president should be able to do it like you know oh it's banana republic stuff to prosecute him for his crimes but they're not claiming he's innocent they're just claiming that we should look frozen they're saying let it go okay yeah yeah that's that's that's my whole point it's like yeah he did it let it go just let it go let him run because that's the best thing you can do for the country is just let him run because he's going to run either way and if you try to stop him it it seems like get messy that try to stop is interesting too because in colorado they're trying to determine whether or not he should be on the ballot so it turns out after the civil war they did this thing

where like hey look if you try to overthrow the government, then you can't run for government anymore. And there's an argument that that's what Trump is all about. So depending on how Colorado decides this, there might be a handful of other states that decide that he can't be on the ballot there too. And that hurts the chances. Speaking of Colorado, I'm sure you saw the video of Lauren Boebert getting felt up and jerking her date off through his pants.

I think the real crime there is she had a tan dress on. If I learned anything during the Obama administration, she can't wear tan clothing. Lauren Boebert's got some big old titties. I had really no opinion of her until that video, and I gotta say, nice. Yes, a child-friendly

That's my president. First of all, I liked the vaping. Everybody's like, can you believe she's vaping at Beetlejuice? They allow children in there. Dude, everyone's wearing nightgowns and suits and tuxedos and shit. There's not a kid in that building. Get the fuck out of here. I don't care about

the parallel between that. That counts, right? The pregnant woman behind her is like, hey, can you stop vaping? And she's like, fuck off. She's like, no, I'm giving a handjob right now, you dumb square. See, if the pregnant woman had been...

Tan dress, told you. That's it. See, you can x-ray those, Woody. The tan dress is the perfect color. Is she Colorado? It's a shame they photographed her with a piece of paper i don't know what what is this that they this is an artist's rendering of what is this because the piece of paper probably security camera this is like someone's memory like yeah yes i think everyone

knows this story but here's the deal she went to this uh musical of beetlejuice it sounds like a movie but it was a musical and prior to the show she was vaping and after the sort of the lights turned down she was singing yelling which maybe is i don't know whatever you could let that go she was also getting felt up by her boyfriend and it's the felt up is funny because he starts grabbing her boob and she does like one of these things to like really give access yeah get that titty yeah and she reached across and grabbed his dick over the

clothes but she was clearly grabbing his hog during the musical and do a side railing him yeah and I you know like I think I maybe I'm a square I thought the movie theater was a little packed for that. Like there wasn't an empty seat there.

So he's on the end, though. And she's leaning over. He wasn't. Oh, yeah. OK, so I guess he's on the end. You can grab the hog somewhat discreet. And we're all fucking adults in the dark. So, like, look, first of all, that's no behavior for a Congresswoman and certainly not for a lady in public.

I will say it's not a good look because she's Mrs. Like, do things the right way. Most. That's my biggest issue. I'm glad you said that. She's been fucking Bible thumping me for four years. Lady, if you want a good marriage, you chase Jesus. And your husband will chase you chasing Jesus. You're telling me that these people don't actually have sincere beliefs and it's an act?

You're telling me that she... She goes on and on about her love for Jesus. So every time she takes the mic and, you know, here she is fucking grabbing the hog at a Beetlejuice musical. Go forth and be plentiful. That's true. And thine stroke thy man's cock at the Beetlejuice.

Make him hard as the Lord hardened the road. That must be Book of Mormon. I don't like the the fact that she bible thumps and maybe that's why i'm mad about her but i'm telling you if it was hunter biden do it i'd just be saying how cool he was so i'm you know i can't go too hard on her wasn't wasn't the venue going to be chill at first and they were like oh uh well you were just kicked out for the vaping thing and then she argued about it and that's why they released the tape.

She denied vaping at all. What? She said that she was kicked out for supporting the arts and singing too loudly. The audacity to know you were doing that and be like, show me the tape. Huh?

Actually, let's just upload the tape while we're getting it yeah now i did not now i didn't know also she on her being rude and loud that is that's much more it's a musical kicking her out she was doing the whole do you know who i am and flipping the bird to everybody involved she was really class i sing all the songs i don't know the words yeah i don't know that's not very polite you're it's not like a concert i don't go to musicals but i imagine i don't want to hear it first of all the big titted bitch in front of me singing i want to hear no one can the gay men on stage by the fact that i'm at a musical it's a show like They're so loud. They can't hear me. Oh.

Well, that was what jumped out at me. I thought, okay, I'm cool with the roping hand job. I am confident in saying I've been to the most musicals. I don't know how many musicals I've been to. No, I've never heard anyone sing. That's my thought. That seems rude. You want to hear the

alternative lifestyle dancers sing. rude you're you want to hear we all clap and stop alternative lifestyle dancers sing and you know you got the plastic to keep the watermelon from getting on that did kyle does you know i would go to a musical if it was kind of like medieval times and you got a cornish game hand and like everyone gets to eat while you're watching i guess that was the only part of medieval times. I really have a strong positive memory about it. Just give me a chicken. Like,

like, wouldn't that make you feel kingly if they gave, did they just went ahead and went all out? You know what? Give me a $4 chicken. Just, just, is that insane?

Like, just give me the whole fucking chicken. Or like put a, put a turkey leg in both my hands and then give me a servant to dab me. Like, as I'm ripping into both. I'll tell you what I would want. Here's my restaurant. Okay.

I want to be able to dip that turkey leg in the multiple gravies though. I want like a big, I want large bowls of dip for the turkey leg. Cause they're dry. Yeah, of course that you'd have gravies. I want to, I want like a spicy mustard and maybe an au jus of some kind.

This is my fantasy. You can have any sauce you want. Wonderful. What do you think, Wendy? Did you see her getting handsy with a handful of hog? And did you think that's my president?

Or did you think, I don't know about that. She was bashing it. That's my president? Or did you think... I don't know about that. She was bashing him. That's when your dick is hard and it's gone down your leg. She's rubbing it against your leg. Side railing. That's a perfect description. I knew what it was.

Side railing, right. That's it. That's why in Congress she's always asking for a sidebar. She didn't understand. I'm honestly kind of on the woody train of that. Initially, I was like, there ain't no way this is real. Like watching the video, I'm like, ain't no way this is impossible. But yeah, if it was like a dude, like if it was a friend of mine and like he got kicked out, he's like, bro, check out the footage.

I'd be like, that's the funniest thing ever. I'm so'm so glad that happened to you yeah but because that's a pro maneuver treated it like a gong right like yeah but because she's been harping on that stuff like an archaeologist afraid a little bit of history might be lost if you're too quick there you go wait is she uh she's she's a big bible one oh my god fucking yes who's that the the uglier one who's that's my girl that's your i wouldn't want to see her jacking someone off no no no i don't want to see i need to see it first side railing no none of that um i see the lauren bober thing no different than if we saw lindsey graham jacking a guy off in a

theater you know it's happening it's okay it's okay lindsey just be gay lindsey it's okay yes i agree yeah i think wendigo was going to say that it's the Bible thumping. It's the hypocrisy. Well, it's like, you know, you're supposed to be a public figure. You're supposed to be a representative for people. It's different if my buddy like Chuck does it, right? Like, your people

still look up to you. You want a place of power. Like, don't act a fool. It's fun for a teenager to do, but like come on i'm a little yeah i i feel like if it was like a matt gates or something i'd let it slide a little more or maybe even think it was funny because he doesn't bible thumb me he doesn't sit here and pretend he's chased um if it was built a younger bill clinton anyway like i would have that same vibe but you know i think i'm a little

i think what it is what he like the only difference between like my opinion yours is i'm a little skewed on politicians i just feel like they're all hypocrites so that part of it doesn't bother me that much oh no it's it's more so just the office as a whole that i'm like that's not even hypocrisy the core hypocrisy uh in this case is that she goes after the um the the trans reading tour strip shows or whatever they take children these days to be hip and cool um she thinks for some reason that you shouldn't be showing children your penis while reading the wizard of oz or something i don't know. Some sort of crazy right wing. It's The Wizard of Paws. And they're saying The Wizard of Paws! Oh my god!

That's good! Yeah, yeah. She goes on about like, what about the children? Protect them from the drag queens all the time. We have to make a product I don't know what we're selling I'm going to come up with a character the Wizard of Paws

we'll debut him but by the way like of all the musicals to do that during Beetlejuice is like top 10 funniest that Shrek I think those are up there get out of my swamp and you're like jacking someone up you guys watch the russell brand thing at all yes yes now here's what i

don't buy because as much as i enjoy the idea of 3d chess being played occasionally and i do see it i see it more in like people promoting themselves online than anything else. But I don't think what has happened, as some people would say, is that Russell Brand made this whole switch to a right-wing, sort of kooky guy on the internet calling out the left for COVID this and freedom of speech that all because he knew that there were going to be a sexual accusers down the line, maybe today, maybe a year, maybe five years from now. And when that day came, he'd be able to say, aha, you see, I told you the truth and they came after me for it.

They did what they always do. They framed me as a sex criminal because that is the weapon of the left. That is the Me too movement uh you know gone awry and weaponized by them to silence me some people would say that he saw this coming when he made his sort of media personality shift several years ago now in case you don't know lots of stuff on youtube where he's ranting in sort of an Alex Jones kind of way, but a bit more grounded and with his Russell Brand accent stick sort of entertainment kind of thing. In reality, I think he just raped four or five women, allegedly, allegedly, and they are coming forward now. You know, because the dam eventually breaks and your publicist can only keep them at bay for so long.

Then your lawyers can only keep them at bay for so long then your lawyers can only keep them at bay for so long then like that you can only kill so many of their pets before they're not just intimidated anymore now they're mad at you and they're proving a point and they don't care that you ruined your life that you if you ruin their life they're going to tell the truth about you i think a little bit of that happens every now and then and so there's like four or five women say any rape slash did something else awful to them allegedly allegedly some of the rape is a little bit um fun i don't i'm afraid i'm going to describe it wrong that's not the word line rapey but like there's a girl he had had sex with before she said condoms and then what is it called stealthing or something where he like yeah but this one isn't even stealthing,

but he held her against the wall and forcefully fucked her. But I had a relationship before and after that. So they're like, but she was like, no condom. I said, no, this was never okay.

This was a boundary that you crossed. It's rape, but maybe kind of, you could, I don't know. He had some dominant tendencies in his sexual behavior and but the no condom thing i think is why she was like that was always meant to be a no austin powers said it best okay only sailors and homosexuals use condoms

there was another girl that he was face fucking hard enough that she had to punch him in his stomach before he took no for an answer and she was just keen objection how are we to know how much throat fucking would an issue you know call for a punch from this young lady versus any other I didn't like the fact that one of the victims was 16

and a virgin so that what country was that go ahead Kyle make something out of that one Russell Brand and a virgin. What country was that? Go ahead, Kyle. Make something out of that one. Go ahead. Russell Brand? I don't know if you know this or not,

but Russell Brand ain't from around here, mate. He's a little bit different across the pond. It was legal. At 16, it's legal there. She can consent to anyone. God save the queen. She argues she didn't, but you know, whatever. It was kind of yucky.

He's like admitted. Make one up. He can't maneuver around. I'm not trying to make a video. First of all, Kyle, I didn't know that there were people who thought that he orchestrated his current youtube channel as a defense against this eventuality that seems retarded let me jump in his defense is that they're coming after him because he got too

close to the truth that's probably what his excuse is going to continue to be like but it's a little silly they have a lot of text message it's damning wait what do you mean by what do you mean by truth are you talking like uh q anon type like government truth or he did so you need to ask him what he means by truth but he's an anti-vax kind of guy okay and he's kind of a so yeah that That whole flavor of sorts. I can't say he's QAnon, but he probably lines up with some QAnon beliefs. I've heard that shit forever.

QAnon. Kind of nostalgic, isn't it? It'll come back. We got silly season coming up. We got silly season coming on. Someone will start boomer baiting on 4chan again. Mexico, who cares about QAnon or maybe that's part of the Q&A those Mexican look Mexico get your shit together first of all it should be telling to you Mexico that a significant percentage of Americans think that the term Mexican is offensive all right that's the left

they think it's offensive to say Mexican that's what they think of? That's the left. They think it's offensive to say Mexican. That's what they think of you. That's the left in action by the way. On the other hand, if you ask the right wing what they think of you, they think of you as hardworking, sneaky folk and there's nothing wrong with either of those things. I'm a little guilty of that. Go ahead.

It's like, hey, are y'all Mexican? You may be like, hey, dude, keep it down. I feel like Mexican and Jew, for that matter, are things I have to use gingerly, but they're not racist terms. No, you're just describing what... People are Mexican, people are Jewish,

but if you say that guy's a Jew, it feels a little like you said a bad thing about him. It depends how you say that. If you go, that guy's a Jew! I've been told I say things wrong all the time. So I like tiptoe around and execute you. If you're screaming at the grocery store, pointing at someone with a yarmulke, that guy's a Jew!

We get you a lot of money right there! It's just, Jew! Right? That's fine yeah but if you were saying harley is jewish or harley is a jew that's not mean you're just saying what he is yeah yeah anyway mexican and jew like dick masterson is mexican you used carefully if i say dick masterson is a dirty mexican then you could say oh that, that's mean spirited. You didn't. But it was the dirty in there that made it mean.

Depends if he's dirty. What if he's dirty? Then that would be a coincidence. Maybe he was just gardening or something. What if you were trying to say he's a dirty Mexican comedian? Now, I'm sure he showers daily, but he is a dirty Mexican comedian. See, there's a lot of ways you can say it and have it be totally fine sure i think so how can we make it where i was going with this it wasn't about racism at all i promised that woody took us there um

does this have to do with russell brand no you did you said people say jewish is mexican is oh yeah i definitely took us there with the jew yell like i think i had a slam from mexico oh yeah your fake x aliens are so fake you're like the mexican version of fake alien what was that about like it's so embarrassing like i saw that video what was that they're still claiming that's real and presenting new evidences they act they fucking x-rated them or are like they ran into a fucking scanner the two little plaster that they're still claiming that's real and presenting new evidences they they fucking x-rated them or or like they ran through a fucking scanner the two little plaster little guys what like a metal detector at the airport yes it looks like mini me's skeleton and they're they're like running it through an mri a mexican mri jesus christ and then claiming that they're real

and that they've got aliens. I like to think they don't have 40-year-old technology. Imagine a Mexican x-ray. Do they have those? Mexican resonance imaging. Let me take a good look. That's an alien. That's what

they pulled out of wings when he got his surgery down there. Oh my god, that's what it was. That is calcified twins. Yeah. That was Donnie! Good one! Donnie.

Those aliens look so fucking stupid and fake. Your skeleton behind you right now legitimately looks far more realistic as a fake body than that alien they brought forward. Did you have people in your community Wendigoon being like, do a deep dive on the alien.

You remember that Senate hearing that happened, I want to say it was last month sometime, and that you guys may have talked about on the show, but when that dude was up there, there's non what do you say, non-human remains recovered in the ship or whatever that that guy that whole thing my my mentions for like a week straight were nothing but

why aren't you covering this what's your problem do you know something we don't why are you talking about and it's lit it was literally just a guy like a dude who worked on a military base he's like a friend of a friend of a friend mentioned that um might be aliens you know you ever think of it that way and everyone's like oh the government's confirming their aliens it's like i don't know if you've ever talked to someone who works in government but they're not god like there's a pretty high area of a air chance with things that they say so it was just some guy um but yeah that like the the mexican one i still am having trouble believing because i've seen those videos i'm like this i'm getting punked there's something wrong here because it's literally like plaster ets like this big it's

yeah i don't know it looks like okay and so fake looking if they had just shown me like a big weird octopus thing that that didn't even make any sense and and they've been like look at this it's it had a glove on or like look at this it's it has meta it has in the x-ray you could see like it had implants or something around its brain be like'd be like, oh, shit, what is that? What is that thing? And this is a fossil. What? But they showed me those little Halloween store guys that looked so

fake that I know that a high school class could duplicate it or improve upon it. And any special effects group could make something so much better looking. I saw this fake Russian video of an alien once and it was supposed to like dead in the snow like fresh and like the leg was gone so you saw like inside of it like flesh and i was like that could be real i mean i know it's not real but like

that's what a real one would look like maybe you know i don't know what the inside of an alien looks like but i'm buying that that's what it is because i can see like muscles and bone and sinew they used an animal in the making of whatever they did like that looks more realistic than the one they had at the mexican yeah my alien's better than theirs yeah for sure woody set that hillside behind me there on fire one time. I did. How'd you set it on fire? I was shooting a I was trying to shoot a paint can with a shotgun that had dragon's breath in it so that the paint can would catch fire and the

dragon's breath was landing in the field back there and I knew that I was making little fires but I thought they'd be easily stomped out. I may have overestimated the difference between the fires and my cardio because it was a challenge and it was hot running from fire to fire the fires are growing right once a fire gets to a certain size it becomes a real problem and uh is that from glenn beck's wave

glenn beck ran a fucking article about me on how I was an irresponsible gun owner. Really? Yeah. That piece of shit, Glenn Beck. So anyway, I think Kyle eventually came up with that cooler that had water in it. Because what was happening,

when fire gets to a certain size, it gets really hard to put out. That wasn't me. So I would stomp it down to like 80 percent gone like down to 20 of its previous size and then move on to the next one why did i take it to zero well the next one was getting too big to handle so i was just sort of playing whack-a-mole sort of grew back up and uh once we got water involved they stayed put out after that i started bringing um my dad has a pto powered sprayer for his tractor it's a big tank call it it's hundreds of gallons maybe 300 maybe 500 and you've got a wand and it makes

a ton of pressure and shoots forever so we just use that thing as a fire truck after that no matter how big of a fire you made you could put it out with that thing there's no problem i uh i my dad set a hillside on fire once with dragon's breath that's i feel like that's a pretty universal experience for people who shoot dragon's breath my dad's was funny find out because he was like we it was like a lot of rocks on this hillside and then there was a hillside adjacent to it that like uh had like grass or whatever. So he, he, I was shooting it the whole time. It is fine. He's like,

I want to see that. So he fires it at a rock over on the rock. And you can just see like a little spark go lands over in the grass, sets it on fire. So we're laughing at him. And the only thing we had in our truck was golf clubs. Cause we had just got done golfing. So he takes a club and he runs down there and he's beating the grass with it.

So, of course, I'm laughing. My cousin there, he was laughing. We were all cracking up. And at one point he's out of breath and he turns around to us and goes, Help me! So we all hit golf clubs. We beat that fire into submission. It was a great time.

Like a nine iron? That's not a great tool for it. I feel like you'd just be chipping little bits of flaming grass. It was like the fire men thing where they build a ditch around a forest fire so that it doesn't spread. It was like that going on, but with grass, much less dramatic.

I've never started a fire on a hillside, but I've never shot a dragon breath round so that actually lines up yeah i've started a lot of fires on hillsides that had nothing to do with youtube well you were just bored yeah you know like just making fun yeah fire was always fun um i i started a lot of fires growing up. Not in a creepy way, like, yeah, watch it burn, watch it burn. But just having a good old time, just wanting to see what would happen. Because we would often have trash piles, or we'd pushed up a bunch of old trees and soak in those things with five gallons of gasoline

until the vapors fill in all the hollow places in the trees and everything, and then throw in a flaming torch at that it's crazy explosion it's a lot of you feel it it sucks all it sucks the air toward it because it's just such a big instant flame it needs oxygen it's like it's real cool i didn't do that but as a kid i used to start campfires all the time. Just random days after school, I go into the woods and start campfires. I loved it. I was a boy scout and they taught me how to do it. And it was like,

you know, you wouldn't, you don't have to even go camping. You can just do this anytime you want. And sure enough, that was true. I can do the fire without the camping part. No way.

Yeah. I loved it. I still love it. I'm, I'm ever since I was a kid, I was like, if you go camping, I'm the campfire guy. I make it. I still love it. Ever since I was a kid, if you go camping, I'm the campfire guy. I always take control of the fire. That makes it sound like

I'm an asshole, but it's more like a service I provide. I didn't get to make one fire on the survival trip every single time. That might be true. I was chipping. I was chipping once.

And he ran like a baseball sliding into the home. And went. And went. Before I could even stop him. Didn't you also get very ill on that trip though? That's trip number one.

Oh yeah. Woody put something in my water uh woody was in charge of the water bottles on that yeah yeah yeah turtle shit in my water i don't know that was that was a terrible terrible time i remember i don't know what was wrong with me but i know when i finally like six hours later i stopped in anderson south carolina at a jack-in-the-box and i was like i finally felt like i could eat a little food anderson south carolina at a jack-in-the-box and i was like i finally felt like i could eat a little food and i just ordered french fries and when i ate them the top of my mouth broke out in sores and i spat them out and went well i guess we won't eat tonight

whatever's wrong with me is really bad yeah we made the right call to leave it was raining as we walked out survivalist experience so yes we're walking out because the river likely will trap us on the sort of finger that we're currently existing on our island or wherever we are and and and if i get any worse then we're stuck and now we've actually got a problem problem like medivac him out or something but i or I die or I just, I'd probably just try to man it up and probably be okay.

Omar, if FPS Russia died on the trip that Wing skipped out of, what if he was a millionaire? What if he would be a millionaire? What if he would have been like, like he hits that footage, he's got the blanket bundled around him and like a

cup of steaming cocoa. I tried to get him off. I stand until my hands went numb. And I lost consciousness. My sense of direction is so bad. If I went to get help, I'd be like, I don't know where I left him.

I'm just not good at that. You're being're being taken off in cops it was the muffin man muffin man killer don't remember on the on the walkout we'd already crossed a river at night um to to get we're leaving and we cross the river in the darkness and we're we're walking up the other side toward our car which is i don't know how far away maybe 20 minutes maybe 10 minutes 4 30 a.m or something it's midnight i i remember it i remember it being like midnight the moon's out midnight i don't know it's the cars yeah yeah but but we're on that walk and i remember we saw some frogs and like mud puddles on the and you were like oh look frogs because you're still in the mode of like maybe we'll

catch and eat one and i'm just splash splash splash yeah frogs i don't think I could eat bread. If you had some warm, salting crackers with peanut butter on them, I think I would gag right now. These frogs in the puddle are like, Oh, look, kind of frog. You like that, don't you, boy? Flash, flash, flash. The cars are this way, Woody.

I think the cars are right i still have never eaten frog legs but but that would have been if we'd seen those frogs earlier in the day they'd have getting they'd have been it um the second trip was was interesting too um i've always said i will never do a third one without i don't know you'd have to to pay us. Without wings? Without wings. Without wings. You know what? Honestly, after the LOL Cal podcast, the boxing match and all that, you might be able to get it.

It's possible. I think, of course, I've never met the guy, but it feels like he's had a change of heart a bit recently. You never know. What I would say is that there are a lot better there are things that would be better for video

purposes and content creation purposes than us going out into the woods. Because I'm telling you, we've done that a couple times and we inevitably get out there and we're like, shit, now we're here. We're starving. Let's conserve our energy by doing nothing all're like, shit, now we're here. We're starving. Let's conserve our energy by doing nothing all the time. Yeah, now we're here.

We could bring board games. I could teach you guys to play Magic the Gathering. We could do that for hours and hours and hours and hours. Wouldn't it be funny if we were there with absolutely nothing to do and I still wouldn't learn Magic the Gathering? I don't know. You're like, I'm just standing about it. about it we play letter game like like i say

you say blueberry and he's by something that begins with t three fuck it's you isn't it taylor it's you it's me no you're the tree what would be a lot of fun i think again wings probably would be down for something like this But just like content to a similar degree between creators Yeah, are you familiar with like the board game hunter killer like how that whole thing works? Yeah, it's like Yeah, it's like a game where you're given clues to a murder It's like a game of Clue only instead of it being a board game You're given like notes that have like newspaper reports you

have to get clues from i've done shit like that yeah it's fun something similar to that but i've wanted to do this for a video for a while and i don't know how exactly the logistics of it would work but if you had a game like that only instead of it just being like oh here's all the peeps is let's put it together you spread it over like a pretty large forested area. You were to give like grid coordinates that people would have to figure out with like a compass and map how to get to. And then there's like multiple red herring routes that they could track between stuff like that.

I think that would be a fun way to get woods content out of something. What do you think? I'd try it. Well, so here's the thing. You know, we would struggle with an escape room. So sending us into the wilderness with a map and a compass. Remember when we did

struggle with an escape room? Woody knows how to use a map and a compass. I would wager that he has some training, but the average person probably thinks they know how to use a map and a compass and navigate maybe at like, not a geological map, a topography type map that's showing like elevation. You don't. I don't think you do if you think you do, unless you were in some sort of program.

Now, I've taken classes and training routes on how to do it. So I understand how complicated it is, which is why it would be great content. You misunderstand, Kyle. I'm not expecting people to do good at this test. Nay, nay, quite the contrary. You can get that content. I won't do that well either. What you would do,

just make us walk to the top of Currahee, but there's nothing up there when we get there, and then watch us blame... No, you translated it. You said you had all three pieces. Wings is like, there was four pieces. I had one. That kind of shit is funny.

We thought there were three clues and there was a fourth, and we've walked to the top of a mountain. Wings would take an hour. And look, I've hustled up that mountain before it it doesn't matter how fit you are you do you know you just weren't ran up a mountain it sucks when did you guys do an escape room uh we went to colorado seven years ago or something i would love an escape room i think it was i'm not particularly good at it or anything. We were way too high.

It wasn't a good escape room. It wasn't a good escape room. We were very high. And I think all of us lost interest. That's their fault, not ours. There weren't like dungeons or chains on the wall. It was kind of just like escape this Manila boring office room. It was bullshit.

And I immediately wanted out, but I was staying to humor everyone else. And I was kind of gauging everyone. And at a certain time, the temperature of the room was that most people were kind of done with it. And then I just sat down. You were terrible for morale i would be there for people but nobody really wanted to be there to begin with and i think i remember whose idea it was but it was a great idea but that one in particular blew because like you said we're just in a room full of like like oh maybe we put a coffee table here and under one of the cups would be a clue yeah yeah write that down fuck you send me to like a place that looks

like a haunted mansion send me the whole place that has a wine orchard in the back and that i have to explore send me to a place with cornrows send me to a place that has all three of those things and a cellar make me work for. I would love to do a bed and breakfast and scavenger hunt, whatever the fuck type thing. That I'd be into, but I don't want it to be way too easy, and I don't want to be way too hard. At one point, she's

over a microphone and a speaker like it's fucking high school. Yeah, you're running out of time. I'm like, I'm fucking counting on it. I'm running out of time. And I'm like, I'm fucking counting on you. What you want to do is lift the third candlestick. Like, no, I'm good.

No, I'm good. People start lifting the candlestick, and I'm trying to discourage everyone from playing along. I'm like, no, just fucking tell it. Do you care? Does anyone care? What could possibly be at the end of this other than a cue card that says you win yeah it's not

actually locked guys like we can just leave if we I was in that post like it's from a western Kyle I do remember at the end of it do you want to know how do you want to know how it ends came in and was like do you want to know how how it completed like where you

ended up because you were so close and kyle just went like no like just no like he had no interest in it and i i remember just kind of being like yeah because i mean she was clearly excited about showing us and something i think i walked out he did leave as soon as that door came open you were like let's go back to the airbnb and get higher better escape room experience i liked it and i wish we did better so i went with chiz and they're like some other woody craft staff we did like a team building thing and uh it was a pretty good escape room like you guys describe yours as manila this was like i think they built this log cabin out of seemingly rustic wood and there was like a cadaver open and stuff like it was pretty cool and um uh find old rufus's gold it's something like that apparently we made it away but we solved about two-thirds of it in like a quarter of the

time and she's like these guys might get it like we seem like we came out of the gate strong and then the other third and the three quarters of the time we couldn't get it done we didn't win yeah i don't even care what theme it is there just has to be a theme with like a backstory i need a prize because we're all working together for a thing it should be a thing we share and it should be a discount or a t-shirt if we get a lobster dinner after this let me say this let's say let's say average is 50 minutes on this thing an hour is a passing grade if we knock this bitch out in 30 this should all be free and we should get a dinner yeah there should be tiered rewards let me ask you this would this be a suitable price because it was would have been ours okay this is a popular escape room a thousand groups have tried it and there are like two groups with their pictures on the wall that beat it oh yeah do you want to be one of them i mean yeah i guess not honestly no

no okay i don't i kind of wanted picture on the wall doesn't interest me in the slightest, but any sort of... Depends how fat I am at the time. Sure. I suppose. I'm in good shape. I didn't get that with the picture. I thought you were choosing between a meal and a picture. I don't want my big fat mug up on there.

We'll go like, wow, that fat idiot did it. Why can't we? Because I'm not going to work hard to get my picture on their wall because i don't fucking care enough to care because i don't care that those pictures did you look at the flax and like oh look it's just a trophy what was he thinking in that moment like no nobody cares he was thinking lift the third candles but if he was to get lift look out of the bottom. I'd need a prize. I'd need a prize or something. Or somebody to beat. We're all working together. I need another team to beat.

I need someone to lose for my win to matter in the slightest. How about this? You get out first, they're trapped in the room for an extra hour. In their mirrored room. That's a dangerous fucking game. Now everybody's trying because you're going to straight up miss dinner.

So like six teams are working and every time a team loses, 15 minutes mandatory added to everyone's stay. Oh my God. No, every time a team wins. Oh, every time they win. And do stages? Yeah.

All right, now we're doing the vineyards. This portion is the vineyard. Old Mr. Taylor has hidden a bottle of wine. Blah, blah, blah. And then they think they've got the clue, but they take off into the vineyard, but they don't listen to that last second like your teacher from middle school. And it's like, disregard everything above. Here is the bottle you win. Like one one of those i always expect one of those and then i've never had that happen i always read

all the instructions i've stayed at the end of every movie hoping never once have i been rewarded by the you stay to the end kyle you read all the instructions you don't have to do a test get a 100 no one ever did that to me but i heard that story in like second grade and so i think that's the lie they tell you so you read instructions it is total fibbery they're not actually doing that when again have you done an escape room oh yeah yeah that's a typically if i'm like hanging out with a group of friends and we're in a town or whatever we'll go do one i've done several uh yeah i don't think i've ever lost one typically i'm in a group of like five or six people the only one i technically lost

was there's one we did in cincinnati and we got to like it was like a serial killer's house i think was the theme so like you found like murder weapons and stuff. There was one part where like I was in another room and I pulled a lever and I heard one of the girls in my group scream in the next room. And what had happened is when I pulled the lever, a skeleton dropped out of the ceiling and landed on her, which was very funny. But we got to the last step and we opened up a box and there's nothing in there. And then the timer ran out. There's like three minutes left. And we're like, okay, I guess we lost and then the woman steps into the room. She was like yeah, the key to the last door

was in that box. We forgot to reset it. Here you go. And then I took the key and just opened it and it was like a button that was like you win and I'm like, oh, okay. Well I still won. That still counts. We got the box open. So yeah I haven't lost. Administrator error. Exactly.

I can get frustrated with that stuff too. In video games, I really don't like puzzles most of the time. I've got to really care about this game if I'm going to sit here and turn knobs and pull candlesticks and try to figure it out. Baldur's Gate was the first game in a long time that I gave a shit enough to do all that stuff. There's a lot of that in there. The problem with puzzles in games is often i feel like you bastards realized you didn't have enough content and so you added like annoying little things here to slow me down like this isn't

fun having to wander around a skyrim dungeon and like the difficulty being the darkness won't get light enough for you to physically see the icon above the because that's how it used to be like playing Skyrim in 2011 on my shitty little uh tv in my college dorm I remember being like I don't know how many times I have to spin these goddamn pillars with the whale and the crow and like oh my god i didn't watch any videos of how to do it and so i didn't realize there were pictures above them right because you could because you can't you couldn't see with the coloring of it it was just you got the first puzzle wrong the first puzzle is the one where they say set it so you can see this one but not that one you set the gamma i can see all of a bitch turn the lights up i'm not here to play skyrim in the dark

now when i play games i'm just like it's like everybody's washed out i don't i don't want the whole game to be puzzles scorn the whole game is puzzles the whole game is puzzles it's weird biomechanical, creepy. That's fine. It's a bug game. Giger-like artwork. Everything's fleshy and disgusting. It's real gross. Scorned. It's nothing but puzzles. Puzzles in Doom are so easy, I didn't realize they called them puzzles.

It's like, oh, there's two levers. You have to press them without much time elapsing. Yeah. Okay. That was the world's easiesting. Yeah. Okay. Okay. It's a puzzle. Press X twice. You got it. I'm sure you know there's tons and tons of secrets in Doom,

but even most of those, you'll be like, oh, okay. We'll go over here. Doom's such a good game. I wish they would... It seems like that's a series that you could easily make a good movie about, but they haven... It seems like that's a series that you could easily make a good movie about, but they haven't. There is a movie. Do you think it's bad?

There's a movie with Carl Urban and The Rock and it is really, really bad. And it has almost nothing to do with the source material. And the enemies aren't Doom enemies. They just turn everybody into zombies, basically. There's two or three Doom enemies, like, real quick. But The rock turns evil out of nowhere.

It's it's a bad, bad. The lore. I agree. The lore for doom is really, really cool. It's a shame that no one's made anything like that. It's like the original doom movie. Like Kyle Cernbaugh was just it was standard trash 2000s film. Some Internet person I watch said it was good so i thought it's good

in the way that like there hasn't been a lot of just i want action i want stuff to blow up movies in the past few years so it's fun in that way but there's not like a cool plotter it is bad in every way it is not a faithful adaptation in any way they shoot the BFG three times once off screen. It's not even the BFG anymore. It's like a plasma launcher. It just shoots goopy acid at everything or something. The whole story makes no sense. You don't have the enemies. You don't have

the correct story. It's just... And the Rock looks small in that movie too. The Rock looks beatable in that movie. I feel like he's the third toughest guy in the bar. He's not beatable. It's in his contract. That's true. But Carl Urban

defeats him in the end in that movie, who of course I love in everything. He's in The Boys as Billy Butcher. Really soon. Soon, right? right yeah it's got to be i'm pretty sure because they're high the the cycles for the advertisements are starting

back up on it so i can play as homelander and call of duty and i think maybe even mortal kombat you can in the yeah it's in the first dlc pack you can play as him the new mortal it says early 2024 okay okay i found two sources early 2024 no confirmed date that's not as soon as i thought the more i see the way that like call of duty goes with stuff like that like homeland or nicki minaj and whatever the more glad i am i'm playing tarkov and stuff because like they've gone so far off the mark it makes me sad see i got really i got really turned off to tarkov when i saw that sort of expose like video where the guy showed how many cheaters there were in his lobbies yeah i have a theory about that guy i i

won't i want to say this like for a fact or whatever because i understand people value my opinion for some reason i feel like those numbers were fudged i've been playing a lot of tarkov and there's only been twice that i've ever died and been like, yeah, that was totally not my fault. That was a cheat. Okay. So I hear you. I have had the exact same experience. The cheaters aren't killing people.

So the cheaters are, by and large, coming in and scooping up ultra-valuable loot or ranking up. Or in some cases, they're just running through the task to sell the account but they're going through and sapping the resources and if it's something it'll take you so long to find say a led x if 60 of your raids have a cheater in them who will just go and vacuum it up and there's already only going to be one Let X and a hundred raids. Now there's zero. I've only been killed by one and been sure of it maybe a couple

times. I have twice had cheaters come to me, say, whoa, whoa, whoa, put it away. I can see you through the wall or fly above me and go, hey, Kyle. And are you the real Kyle? like like and and talk it out with them and and every time they're like i kill cheaters that's what i do now you know they ruin

so i ruin tarkov for them you want some cheap and i'm just like yeah and just starts dumping out like um whatever that green sniper rifle with, I'm blanking out, but thermals and thermal goggles, quad nods, slicks, just a blip, blip, blip, making it rain. It's like, take all this. I'm like, I can't carry all that. He's like, what's your extract? And he picks it off and carries it with

me to extract while we chat about his hobby of ruining Tarkov cheaters fun. That's how I know that game is so full of cheaters, so full. And a lot of them are kids who will try to ruin your day. That is the worst kind. And if you just get shot in the head in that game,

you don't, I can't really tell if it was a cheater. Sometimes it's like a good player. That's what it feels like. You just get turned off. I'm stuck. I've had a time or two where I'm pretty confident I was killed by a cheater.

We were on Interchange hiding in the dark. If you know that map at all, we were hiding in the dark and we hadn't moved for a long time. Call it 18 minutes. The guy marches straight over to us and headshots us. I think that guy knew.

Taylor, here's where you and I could have some fun with tarkov um all right it's it's playing it not in the way that i traditionally play it which is fucking nose to the grindstone acquire acquire complete fuck all that you can do silly things in that game though and bug people and bother people and role play there's a lot of role playing you could do in that game and and bug people and bother people and role play. There's a lot of role playing you could do in that game and it can be really funny and you can get some crazy reactions because you avoid the Wizard of Paws. You can talk to them.

There's got to be a song for that. I've been playing the game before and come across like groups of guys who are like, tell me who, good sir. We'll bout fire upon us. They're speaking old.

It's like five guys with the MP-18, the single shot. It's like the musket of Tarkov. And they're like, have you seen any redcoats this way? They're colonial role-playing in Tarkov. Yeah, that's fun. I saw this dilly dress up in the

uh there's a flak jacket type thing that says press on it and i forget what else he had but like he made it look like he had a microphone and a little un helmet and he just interviewed players i'm a war photographer. Taylor, if you've played the game enough, then the silhouette of a player who doesn't have a gun out is very recognizable. It's like you've seen a hundred sharks look the same, and all of a sudden one of them's got an extra fin. It really catches your eye.

You don't shoot them right away. You're kind of inquisitive. If you're experienced, most people probably shoot them him i'm sure he gets that a lot too but you can upset people tremendously in that game and and you can also goof around and uh it can be scary i've had some of the scariest like heart pounding and i've never been so angry at my friends as when they fuck up in that game like fish i've had screaming matches at fish like like all right never again that's it i'm never playing this fucking game with you again no that's fucking it never don't you let me play with him again he's not lying

because i heard him do something similar playing code names with fish. Yeah. That's what that clue was supposed to be? In what world was that the right clue for that? People need tough love. People need tough love. They don't need this fucking baby-babying you around and acting like you did this colossally fuck up. Kyle is solid at

Codenames, and so every once in a while, though, what we do is we just randomize the teams and sometimes you go on a good win streak sometimes you go on a big loss streak and if kyle gets like four or five losses sequentially under his belt you can like hear in real time the the exasperation of like all right guys all right this is the one this is the one and then the they'll send out like ocean for one or someone will send the same clue twice

and you'll just say like, I'm done. You know, after this game, guys, I'm calling it. I'm calling it a night. I'll talk to some of you later. And then it just disappears. I get really invested in games. Like I do. I care.

I care. And so that means that if you let me down i'm upset about it and i'm gonna let you know about it and and and look yeah that's what what's that coach that goes through yourself i go through all my players cell phones okay before we play code names i go through your phone make sure that you're the kind of person i can trust to play code names with if it's a bunch of memes and shit in there that ain't gonna cut it oh i i wasn't with our group i had a couple really banger clues the other night with some friends of mine that's such a fun have you played code names one again i have not played code names it is what is that what is the game what is it you got to come in and play it with

us in our in our discord it uh basically it's a word association game where there's 25 words on pieces of paper and there's only one person who knows which words out there correspond with the red team and the blue team and so if you're the red team clue master you're attempting to give words of one single word that will direct your team to selecting the red words but not the blue words and so there might be if there's rabbit and fox and lion out there and my words are rabbit and fox i can't say animal because you might pick the animal that lines up with them so you would need to it's like a vocabulary word association game And if you know people who have like similar pop culture. So if you wanted to do like,

say you wanted rabbit rabbit out of that, you'd have to say like herbivore, right? Because you were, you're trying to one, but we want rabbit and Fox. We want to double up. Cause I see.

I see. So if it was like rabbit Fox and then American whale, it'd be a bit wrong. So we want to get to American animal or something like that. It can only be one word at a time, right? It can't be American animal. You'd have to be like...

Interesting. It gets hard quickly. I see how that'd be fun. That sounds like a good time. People get mad at each other so quickly. I don't like any good game. Playing with random teams makes it more fun to watch us play and to be there as a third party.

Playing with a picked team makes it fun to play. Gotcha. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. Sometimes I'm just like, who's the, who's the, oh, you're the co-giver isn't english your second that guy's from the czech what's the czech republic called now he's from there

or is it burma killing fields place Irma. Killing Fields Place. He doesn't know which Batman is which. That sounds like a ton of fun. Absolutely. It's really fun. Alcohol would make it better if we had to drink on losses or something like that.

Especially if we played for word. That's like a negative feedback. That's how you play a game feedback. Oh, oh, oh. That's how you play a game like that. Because, frankly, if you lose by one, it's like you barely lost. It was so close if you lose by one point. It's like, oh, if you miss this word, then it's their turn, and they just insta-win.

It'll be that close to the games most of the time. Every now and then, you'll blow somebody out by like six fucking points points and so that'd be six shots of beer or something like that like the game could get sloppy quick if you play point and every once in a while like someone gives such a brain dead clue that like everyone is working their head around trying to write like like a word out there will be eiffel tower and someone will like put Spain as the clue. And you're like, okay, does this person maybe think the Eiffel Tower is in Spain?

Or is this some elaborate multi-level? Yeah. Did he misspell? Did he mean stain? Did he mean stain glass? And you're like, try and get these crazy reaches like maybe in spain because you can't ask him that's the deal interesting he's gotta sit there like i like

it when we got our videos on because i gotta sit there like they'll be like kyle wouldn't mean this and i'm like i absolutely meant that that is exactly what i meant and like i'm thinking like come on guys didn't you hear the one guy in the background, the guy with the little voice who's not as socially adept? There are big voices, alpha talkers is what he calls them sometimes in these voice calls. Then there'll be this little guy and he'll be like,

I know the right answer, Kyle. I'm just like, I can't say. Everybody pipe down and listen to little Joe. I just gotta sit there. The person who gives the word can't say everybody pipe down and listen to little Joe. Yeah. So I just got to sit there. Like the person who gives the word can't, can't say anything else. No,

you can't say anything. You can't. Wow. You can't like off the one way or the other. Okay. If your camera's on, you have to sit there kind of like this. And if they're like getting it wrong,

you have to try and not react to it. It's because like Kyle said, sometimes like you'll mean to send them to ocean, sea, whale, and salt. My biggest favorite. That sounds like a great game. Someone will say all four of those things, and you'll be like, yes, they're in the mix. Josh just said all four of them.

And then someone else who's more contentious in the game will take umbrage with one of them for the simple fact they want to. They'll be like, well, I don't know about salt for this. It could be racket. And it's like, no, don't do that. They go like multiple layers deep. You gotta imagine that if we're trying to get

three words to associate, one of them's gonna be like, oh yeah, okay, fucking dolphin and mammal. Okay, like marine mammal like definitely that and then like okay salt because salty salty like salt water but this last one is just whole did he mean blowhole and i'm like yes i meant blowhole yes do not start thinking about because over here there's this and in this yeah but i a soldier, and a type of soldier is a marine. No, no, worse.

Worse than that. There's a guy on my team. He'll go, well, and he'll say the name of it. In this obscure Japanese manga that I read, there's a character named Nirioko, and he has a sword named Red. Did Kyle mean that? Meanwhile,

Kyle is having an aneurysm on camera. No, Kyle did not mean the obscure Japanese manga that you and only you read. No, I did not mean that. Do you really believe I mean that, or are you trying to raise my blood

pressure right now? Do you have a bet with somebody? Who paid you to say that, you fucker? What's going on? I'm getting so mad now thinking about it. It's such a fun game. It gets you turnt and frustrated so much faster than you think a word association

game could. I'm down. I'm down anytime. That sounds excellent. Absolutely. We'll play. The beauty of it is a lot of games, like we're playing Monopoly I'm down. I'm down anytime. That sounds excellent. Absolutely. We'll play. The beauty of it is a lot of games, like we're playing Monopoly and you jump in. You're like, yeah, in a couple hours, I guess, or maybe tomorrow.

But in this game, it's like, yeah, join the blue team. Join the blue team right now in the middle of the game. They'll catch you up. And it doesn't matter if the teams are uneven. Even dramatically. I'll play with my three against your six. I don't fucking care. It's more or less the same shit.

Yeah, yeah. Tippers, the reason it's fun is because people get mad. I'm one of those people. I don't care. But some people get real mad. I don't think I get real mad. Yeah, you. I get real mad. I don't think I get real mad. Yeah, you.

I get real mad. And I yell and I curse and I call people names and I fucking mean it when I say it. Why do you think you've never done that any of the times I've been there? You've probably just been there when things have gone well. No matter what you do, i will never give you a hard

time or raz you um so i might even turn to like family and friends night like if you're there um because and just not try hard because not because you're not good at the game it's because you've never played it before i mean there was one point was like your first time ever playing with us um there's a lot of reasons maybe maybe. It could have just went well. If it goes well, then I'm a real fun guy to be around. But if it's going poorly, and a couple

times it was my fault, which makes me even madder than if it's your fault. A perfect example of me, it being my fault, I'll do a thing where I don't read the whole board. They'll be rushing me because I take a long time to give my clue and i'm just like okay this i'll give my clue and i'll be like oh my god one of their words works perfectly so they'll be like well of course eyeglasses let's click that first let's just get that out of the way and it's like ben franklin is the clue i gave because i

didn't see eyeglasses i've got like founding i've got like founding father lightning and fucking like syphilis and in mind like three benjamin yeah but right there was kite and i didn't know it was there and they're all going i look like an asshole and then if they're not keen enough on the game they don't go okay let's recover he either didn't see it or he was okay with us getting one of theirs it's still ben franklin they'll get completely frazzled and drop the ball you know you know you see it you see it all the time in sports they make one error and instead of being like all right fundamentals pick it up and fucking throw it or get back in position they'll make a second and a third and now they're back there juggling and now

they know they're making the espn highlights so they're even worse and they just keep just failing because they're so nervous and it's building you don't want that to happen and that's what makes kyle angry and that's when he starts using slurs he does i do that don't even make sense i'll call you a greasy cantaloupe out of nowhere and you'll scratch your head trying to figure out if you should be offended or not is that a clue yeah no there was on the board was something like policeman arm and nose and i was my clue was human i was like yeah that'll get those and then i hear my team deliberating they're like well he definitely means night with a K and thief.

And I'm like, fuck, I should have looked more carefully at all the other words. I remember that exactly. I was the one making the case for night and thief. Um, every, that's one thing I also probably do too much is I,

I can lead the team astray and it's not my fault that they want to agree with me for whatever reason. More than, say, that little kid who isn't socially adjusted back there who's like, I have the right answer. Actually, it's ABC. Shut up, Skinny! I get it right every time.

I call it the game of games. I love it so, so much. Taylor sent me the home version. I've been goofing around with that um is it a game is it do you like download it on steam even better there's just a browser link oh okay cool free brown you know what i do that i wish everyone number yeah yeah dope dope cool that i wish everyone did i take notes of the game and then afterwards i debrief and be like all right all right this clue i'm trying to get you to choose this one that was just my fault it was my first time being the word guy

human was a terrible clue you guys were right this one over here and it just yeah like oh i'll recap a conversation like you know taylor like read my mind you know there's a oh it was um i think shoulder and hit was the move, but I didn't. You couldn't say hockey because of skate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Taylor just like exactly outlined to the team why I was saying what I was saying. God, nice. Yeah, that feels good when you get those.

And Woody is a much kinder manager of his squad because someone can say something retarded and Woodyody will be like okay okay i don't think that's it i don't think that one's it and like someone will say that on kyle's team and he'll be like you shut up you shut the fuck up you don't talk anymore this round you shut up not like like almost that yeah because because i i because I, I don't, um, I don't have time for that. It's like, look,

I know you have time for it because part of me thinks they're only saying something so stupid because they're not trying very hard at the game or they're not paying much attention. And that's now I'm a little angry at you. If you're stupid, then you won't take too much offense to this anyway. You won't understand the insult offense to this anyway you won't understand the insult so we're good either way so yeah i'm gonna razz him a little for saying

something so stupid i'll be nope definitely not that because abc and also do you think he knows what that manga is i don't even know what manga is it's some sort of weird book that you guys read do you jerk off to that one in particular it's like a comic book right yeah, right? Yeah. Exactly. It's a backwards comic book. See, if that's our level of knowledge, you can't be giving manga clues to us. Oh, I've had that. There was a girl on my team, and she's actually really smart, but she wasn't paying

attention. And when I asked her her opinion, it was clear that she was talking about the previous round and hadn't noticed it. Ten minutes had elapsed. It was like, all right, yeah. Think about that one. Maybe this round.

So as fun as it can be and blood pressure rising as it can be to play with randoms, you literally jumble the team. You don't know who you're going to get. When we pick our teams and play for money, that is so much fun. That is so much fun. is so much fun you after hearing them

describing you get angry and then hearing you be like no it's best when there's something on the line i think i see what the issue is yeah right like like if i can if you play like money like duos or trios we've done a couple um the last time we played for money we they picked a judge who didn't know how to play the game very well, and so they made a ruling at the end that cost the winning team the whole thing. They were only playing for like $50 or $100 or something like that. But yeah,

it would be more fun to play for dollars per point differential. So if I beat you by three words, then your team owes my team $15. Yeah, yeah. I't get ugly i would be after i learned the game i'd be willing to play for money of course i'm not suggesting we start gambling right away before you know the game you're smart you'll pick it up although you

will pick it up taylor over here like oh come on give me your money what's the worst that could happen i've got money but you know Kyle can be... I'm the good cop in the... You got $10? That's one game away from $20. Give it. If I get furious, I just kind of silently am like, hmm. We have the Patreon Hangout

on Sunday. We should play again. We should. By the way, if you want to come play Codenames with us, join the Patreon. Not right now, unless you want nine days of access. Are you sure it still works like that? You can't start mid-month? I'm 100% sure it works like that because you do these monthly campaigns.

It would have had to change pretty recently. It depends on how you set it. Well, ours is currently set the other way. I'm 90% sure. Okay. Oh, they just changed it on other way. I'm 90% sure. Oh, they just changed it on Patreon, so you can do it differently. We can work something out like that, so when you join, you get 30 days from then, because that's

so much better. That does make more sense. And now every one of those Hangouts, like everybody's waving for code names every time. Just know if you join that we do our Hangouts on the end of the month, so you want to... If it is now such that you can join and then just get 30 days of access then just know the hangouts are at the end of the month yeah in any case we're gonna bless him if you want to come play some uh code names with us i i would love an intelligent person

with a large vocabulary and it's it's important that you did well on that standardized testing part, the word association part. Remember the part where you didn't even know three or four of the words, but you understood the relations and the suffixes and stuff, and you formulated a win. Or at least you narrowed it down to two bubbles. If you're that kind of guy who could take six or eight words you've never seen before and narrow it down to a 50-50 on a standardized test, I want you.

I want you. I'm your Uncle Sam. If you're stupid and you're on Kyle's team, the rest of us think it's funny. That's a good point. I mean, that's true. Don't be intentionally stupid. Can everyone hear each other, even on the other teams yeah no private oh perfect yeah that's pretty great here's what happens that's great that's great you troll the other

team so bad exactly yeah yeah kyle will be like a color and i'm like you know people are colors maybe it's lewis trying to make a case for terrible words every once in a while you get it good with like trolling where they'll be like all right he gave the clue kick i think he means boxer uh and punch and then he need and then you throw in like sock sock is out there you sock someone in the mouth that could be i told them and then you throw them socks on your foot. You kick them. I convinced your team that something was a nervous syndrome or something, a disease of the nerves or of the nervous system. Oh, that's what it was.

I gave the clue hepatitis to try and lead them to disease and vampire because it's a blood disease. You told them it was a nervous condition. I know it's a blood disease. You told him it was a nervous condition. I know it's a blood disease. I'm a whore. And Kyle was just like, they were like, I think that's a blood disease. Maybe he meant vampire. And Kyle trolling the other team was like,

it's a nervous disorder. And then they immediately went off of that. And I'm just like, trying to look stoic so that I don't ruin the game with my my camera because i'm easy to read it sucks when you like feel like man this is a winner hepatitis this is a good clue for these two words and then immediately they're they're off the case and then you have to you know realize if they my favorite was two hangouts ago when Gunn gave the clue

ivory, right? Ebony and ivory. And I'm like, ooh, league, right? Ivory league. Which, it's Ivy. It's not ivory. But he did mean that because we were both the same stupid.

But neither one of them went to an ivy league school so and i was sitting there trying to show some people on my team how to play for the first time and i'm like see that is an example of of just what just happened so you both thought it was ivy league it's. Synced retardation. You scratch your head and you eat the L. It happens. They got us.

But anyway, it's a very fun game. We'll play sometime when we do. We got to get you out of here. Dope, dope. Enjoy. In wonderful news stories I saw, the United Kingdom is looking to ban pit bulls. Yeah, XL American pitties to ban pit bulls. Yeah, XL American pitties.

XL American bullies. Yeah, they're gonna ban them. Do you know why? Because they're harming too many children and good dogs. Well, there was a specific video I saw recently of two of them murdering a man as he screamed and people tried to get them off

of him and he's just like and he's just bleeding everywhere and they're just like like one of them is on his leg one of them is on his arm they're monsters are they just going to kill every pit bull they see typically

when there's breed bannings like that they just outlawed the further breeding of it there's a fewnings like that, they just outlawed the further breeding of it. There's a few species in the U.S. that do that with like wolf interbreeds and stuff like that. Those are banned. You remember? I didn't know that.

Oh, I would be the one to capture the puppy, the puppy napper. Cruella? Come in with that big glove that goes up to your elbow. I'd go around with like the guy in Death Wish just shooting pitbulls. You've done that with pigs, haven't you Kyle?

Shot pigs? Go around shooting them? In Texas? Yeah. Apparently in Texas, they have such a pig problem that they've just legalized going around in pickup trucks and shooting all the pigs.

I'm going on a hog. It's my story and I'll tell it the way I want to. If you know the sheriff well enough out in that County, he will write you a, a piece of paper that says that you have permission to shoot in the city limits. And basically he's saying you're doing something against the law for us. Get after it. And so that is what

we were doing. We were under written permission to do everything we did. You cannot drive in the city limits of Houston shooting suppressed firearms in neighborhoods without permission. Who's going to stop you? A good guy with a gun. Oh, nobody could have stopped me.

There was an M249 saw in the back seat. We all had rifles. Several of us had night vision with IR lasers and stuff. In case you don't know, IR laser you can only see with the goggles on.

It's like a superpower because now you can point at 50 yards, a laser is all you need. You don't need optics. When is your pig trip that you're going on? We're trying to do it end of next month, somewhere around there. I'm getting married on the 30th, so I've got like this.

Oh, congratulations, Zan. Thank you. Sorry. Thanks, and I appreciate the condolences. Thanks for both. thanks and I appreciate the condolences thanks for both and then we're getting so like after I get back from the

as far as I know yeah I meant for you as far as I know yeah goodness gracious that's not your honeymoon is it sincerely congratulations thank you thank you

I was going to say after the honeymoon after we get back from that she's got some business trip she's got to go out on which means i've got five days to go to texas with some like other gun tube people and go shoot some hogs so i'm looking forward to that i built out a rifle to do it with stuff like that we're gonna do it under non it'll be fun yeah i'll be uh it's it's right in here I can grab it if you want is it cool to show stuff on stream yeah yeah uno momento I'm predicting it is a 308

no way he's gonna have probably a short if he's doing helicopter it'll be short barreled but like a short barreled AR-15 I bet he's got I bet he's got like a short barreled ar-15 i bet he's got like i bet he's got like a like a small um like like scope on it not a red dot he's got like a three by nine um i'm trying to think of the one from tarkov in particular like the vortex uh or whatever yeah like one of those on there

that's that's my guess and maybe even a shell catcher so let's see i've got so this one's my my dad's going with a shellcatcher. Let's see. I've got... My dad's going with me as well, so I built one out for him. So this is my go-to, my baby girl. It's an SR-15 Knights. I'm a Knights fangirl. I really like

the CAC stuff. Got my Night Force 1-8, got all my little Night Vision doohickeys on there. It's definitely a legal pack. Don't look for where a serial number is supposed to be or anything. I would never do such a thing. Of course not. Because like I can load this thing up with robot killers like, you know, A1 ammo and be fine against.

I don't know SR-15. What's the caliber of them? It's an AR-15. The SR-15 is just knights model of it knights are the guys who still have the original patent on the ar-15 and they've changed a bunch of stuff to it over the years this is currently like the spec ops or like special forces gun of choice they've done a bunch of weird stuff to the bolt and the inside it's just like it's a gucci out ar-15 basically uh and this is i've had this thing forever so i'm just

going to use that for my dad i got him this so this is an ar-10 308 um i actually found this on a pretty solid deal uh for like the upper i got that built out the lower it's a nordic lower uh it's got a sig 1 to 10 on top of it. I'm not crazy about six optics, but I also don't plan to be shooting anything from like, you know, 300 yards or anything there. Their hogs will be decently close. And my dad really likes 308 stuff. So I was like, if he'll be right at home, he'll be when you weren't here, we were guessing the caliber. I said 308. And Kyle said 223 or.556. You were both right.

That's a loud motherfucking gun. I've got a couple of cans to throw on these. I need to get a surefire break. This is a dead air break. I need to get a surefire because most of my.308 cans are surefire.

We'll throw cans on them but it's it's not going to help with a 308 so it's still going to be a real it'll help it's not going to make it quiet by any means um a 308 with a break on it is is something to behold it is very loud in fact it's not uncomfortably loud it's painfully loudfully loud. There's a guy in the group hurting you. That you hate by the end of the day. Not by the end of the day. Three shots. If we were standing shoulder to shoulder

and my head was turned to the left so my ear is squared to more to your barrel than to you, and you let off three, I'm in pain I'm done I'm walking away like were you fucking asshole like why didn't you warn me

it's so loud yeah with hearing protection who fucking cares you can be in a bomb you can be in a tank and then blow a house up on top of yourself nothing's loud with hearing protection just checking you know I mean I guess some things are but nothing i've experienced

you just get that shock wave that turns your insides to jelly or something if you're hearing through your pro um yeah don't you what kind of hunting are you going to do you may have just said and i didn't hear it but uh no it's going to be probably stalk hunting i got a buddy down there operator drewski uh on youtube yeah yeah yeah yeah that guy me and him are good friends stalk hunting mean you're walking it means you're walking is that his tarkov stuff's really good oh yeah yeah i'm in a couple of his tarkov videos me and him play together yeah i've seen you there's cool cool uh but yeah yeah drew's a great guy i met him on the movie set uh we went to because he was filming all our behind the scenes stuff and me and him hit it off really well but he actually he doesn't do as much now because you know youtube's kind of taken off for him but before youtube he

would uh as like a summer job he'd go to like farms around the area and be like hey if you pay me like however much a hog i'll take care of that hog problem for you so he does a lot of stalk hunting so i'm gonna go with him um so i'm gonna i'm gonna be with those nods back there wherever they're at the bnvds i'm to hook those up and do some night vision shooting. It should be fun. It's definitely fair. They're just feral animals, and I've got $40,000 of tech on me. It's a fair fight.

It's him or me. I was in defense of my life. I feared for my life. I've been stock hunting twice. I've been stock hunting twice, I've been stalk hunting twice. One more successfully than the other one. We only really heard them because they, it was so thick that we couldn't stalk them.

They would just hear us coming. And we were just stuck. We were, we were walking through the woods with SKSs. It was like Vietnam. It was so cool. It was so thick in South georgia and mosquitoes everywhere and and i had an sks with a bayonet on it because i was hoping that they had told us this place was

infested with hogs they're like you can't throw a rock without hitting mine and so i'm down there with an sks with a fucking clip in it like a magazine like a stendo mag and we we never even saw one heard them but then in texas we were i stayed with these guys once it was supposed to be a fun hunting trip and it ended up being like man i got lied to because these guys just had these guys just had this shitty fucking like house i guess you'd call it in the middle of nowhere, Texas. And they're like, yeah, that's daddy's old land we hunt on. And you just had to go out there and try to find a pig. And

one of the guys that was there was a wild man. And he hunted them in the daytime. So he would crawl on his hands and knees. In Texas, there are these briars and brambles. And that's where they were bedding down, like deep in those. And he crawled hands and

knees through that shit till he found where they were bedding down and glocked one with a glock 19 fucking that on a on a hip holster draws shoots one of them gets it it's a goddamn piglet that weighs maybe like 8 15 pounds he cooked it in it in a hub, like a wheel, like the old wheel of a car. He made a fire and sat that on top and he was drizzling pickle juice on it while it cooked on that tire. I ate a piece. It seemed rude not to after he

crawled through the fryers for it. Was it good? It wasn't bad. I didn't ask for seconds or anything. Bro. Did that guy know he wasn't literally in Vietnam? So his YouTube was a combination of,

uh, bow hunting. That was fake and real. He's like, a lot of my kills real. A lot of my kills real. Listen, right.

He's showing me his fucking videos i don't give a shit i didn't know people fake hunting videos before this and he's just like coming clean to me like like like that his videos are are faked and but he's putting these animals in pins and around feeders and stuff and then he's like climbing the tree next to like a pin and and and shooting these big pigs and stuff for his youtube channel and i'm like dude i don't fucking care i don't fucking care but he really did crawl out there in those briars and glock down that piglet that was bad that's intense that's also where we um my cousin and i like we were in a blind and the pigs all came out to feed. And it was just the whole, they come in a crowd, like eight or 10 adults.

And then you don't even know what the ages are. It's just every size. Like, oh, this one's a year old. This one's a year and two months old and everything in between. They're just, but we just opened up on a fucking crowd of them. And I had a 308, like AR-1010 really similar to what you've got there and i think he had a bolt gun he got off three good shots and we laid a lot of pigs out like that you got to be fast though because once you start shooting they'll start they'll just scramble yeah depending on where

you are and you wouldn't want to talk about publicly per se but tannerite can really maximize your uh your killing potential of your squad as much as a belt fed a belt fed would would we get the same job done but just 25 30 pounds of tannerite out there assuming you're on like private property or whatever like there's no like state issues around it since hogs are are pest animals in Texas, you could get away with that, right? Like you said, you would talk about publicly for social reasons, but legally. I've known lots of people who did it. I've seen it done. I've seen it done with Hy-X and I've seen it done with Tannerite. I've seen it done with all sorts of, we'll say, media added in to add

extra killing power. I've seen debt cord used to chop their heads off at a feeding trough you know because you got it set off so they all have to put their head oh man yeah yeah at load of debt cord so it's on the back of their spine pressed with a to it and they're all eating their bananas and peanut butter and grain or whatever. That breaks the trough too, right? No. Imagine a string, basically, that they have to put their head under to get to the trough, and it's just kind of sitting on the back of their necks.

That's deck cord. It's a string that's explosive. It's typically deck cord can get used to breach doors and stuff. It's not that big of a, you know. Are these things you're killing pigs, hogs, swine, or boars? Oh, it would be. It'd be boars.

Yeah, a group of boars. Anything I see a group of boars is called a singular. I didn't know that, but maybe you're smart and say it's a counterintuitive. If I'm out there in the woods and someone's like, all right, let's go kill this boar and I'm like, don't you mean a singular?

I'm gonna get shot. Three or more pigs is annoying. He's a bit of a smartass. That's not true. A group of pigs is a drift or a drove. Hogs is a passel or a team. Passel. I've heard old-timers say passel.

And a group of swine is a sounder. I've heard people refertimers say passel yeah and a group of swine is a sounder i've heard drovers in westerns you'd call someone a drover so that's like calling them a shepherd but for pigs i i'm putting together now yeah yeah i didn't know that i'm kind of it'd probably be easier to shepherd pigs around because they're much smarter than sheep. To drove them around, you mean? To drove them around, of course. Yeah, it'd be more difficult, I'd say. Yeah. More difficult? Maybe pigs aren't afraid of sheepdogs.

Well, I guess it depends on the domestic. Add drove to your repertoire for code names. We're going to need that. What's so freaky about pigs is that they can go feral in one generation, right? So they can go from like just pink and happy to man killer and just their offspring. Do you know how shocked those pig parents are?

The pig parents who escape from the pen and they start having pig children and then they're like, what's happening to this new generation of pigs? They're nothing to us. Yeah, that's why the South has such a pig problem because in the reconstruction era of the south after you know all the all the farms and like you know plantations

were destroyed and all the animals were released you had all of these farms that had thousands of hogs on them that are now reproducing rapidly i think the gestation time for a pig's like two months so there could be you know hundreds and hundreds of these things in a year's time uh and then they grow up and they start, they start killing kids. They start tearing up crops. They start wrecking people's houses. And that's why to this day, it's like a pest animal. If you can see him kill him. I, I went to two different helicopter pig hunting places. I think one of them was like Heli bacon and the other was something else, but You go through the same program everybody else does and we sat there and watched a video

about how awful pigs were to Texas. They made a propaganda film to get you ready for what we were about to go do. It was that fucking grisly. Just so in case any of you who came here to pay $650

an hour or are squeamish about killing pigs, watch this. It's like, dude, we're all here to fucking shoot. We know the score. We're down to clown. And he shows us this video about millions of property damage, and he starts telling me, do you believe that some of the Houston Texans players' yards were damaged? And I'm like,

I couldn't give a fuck about some millionaire football players. Goddamn turf being bad for one afternoon until he got somebody to fix it because of a pig. I'm here to shoot, but no watch more. And so we were making a video for Scott's channel. It's like silly hundred channel. And I was like,

turns out they're not that bad. They just cause property damage and eat corn and shit. Let's say they ate a kid though. And I was like, turns out they're not that bad. They just cause property damage and eat corn and shit. Let's say they ate a kid though. And everybody's like, what? Let's say it ate a kid. Can you say it ate a kid with a straight face, Scott?

And it took him all day, but eventually he can say that the pig had eaten the child. And then when he's out there hunting, he's like, this one's for Billy. I mean, pigs would eat a kid. It was opportunity that they didn't. I've heard stories.

It was a story for a while. I lived up in Kentucky that it was like the mayor of the town my parents were from or like some sheriff, some position. Yeah. That his children were killed by a hog. Like one day they were just playing on the front porch. Hog runs up, just gores them to death, just like tusks, beats them down.

Do you like that, Kyle? Can you imagine the story? I'm imagining the Kentucky accident. My boys killed by a hog. My girls were killed by a hog, too. My uncle Delmar, he's killed by a hog. All my eyes go by a hog. What do you mean you're killed by a hog, John?

You've got to imagine him picking a banjo as he's talking. Oh, man. He's made it his mission to kill as many hogs as possible. I bet he eats bacon twice a day. He's always making a whole slab just wants two pieces.

He just wastes it. It's the principle, Taylor. It's the principle. He absolutely hates hogs. If a hog killed my children, I wouldn't hate them. In the 21st century, if a hog crushes your bloodline, if a hog ends your bloodline in the 21st century, then you should figure out which demon you have summoned

using the Key of Solomon. Because clearly, it doesn't happen to good people. I realized I had forgotten to pray. What I learned that day is the Lord plays for absolute keeps.

He does not fuck around. Sure enough, next day, He does not fuck around. That was the biggest word in that damn book. Sure enough, next day, money under my bed. Just like that. Money under my bed. Are you serious he killed that man's children?

That was always a story I heard. They were playing out front, came out of the woods, gored him. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's awful. i hope that's not true but however however if you're dumb enough to like get gored to death by a pig on your front step what a loser right yeah they were four years old what a what an idiot if you're a four-year-old that's a valid excuse because yeah or you should have been able to get out of there like it's not like a two-year-old

four-year-old's half a man you had a job at six why didn't he square up with it why didn't he show down if i like but like your your point if i was killed by pigs that'd be humiliating. Of all the things to get killed by, right? You'd have to make up a news story about how I died. I'm skydiving. Anything but beaten by pigs and gourd. In a case of animal revenge,

the likes of which we haven't seen. Then it cuts to the making a murderer thing where the guy's like, they went after him in an organized fashion. I ain't never seen nothing like it. He was carrying around the charcuterie board till it killed him. And put it down,

you're infuriating him with your arrogance. It was the whole trove. There was a whole legion of them. Wait a minute. There was a drove of them if they were down. It was a sound. Thank you so much for coming here on our 666th

episode of Painkiller already. Thank you so much for gracing us with your presence and your spookiness, your power beard, and your ever-present wisdom. Where could our viewers slash listeners go to to procure a bit more of you? Well, I'm so glad you asked, Kyle.

Of course, everyone, thank you so much for having me on such an impactful episode. I'm glad I got to talk about everything from demons to hogs and senators having public relations at a play of Beetlejuice means a lot truly the full pka experience that people can find me here on youtube at windagoon uh and thank you all so much for having me on and thank you everyone for listening appreciate it thank you pka 666 bye come pills