Painkiller Already - PKA 667: Jackie’s Car Exploded, African Relationship Savant, Thrust Master Woody

Episode Date: September 30, 2023

pka667 slush puppy may be joining us um he was gonna he's not online right now so he's on the other side of the planet we'll give him a break sometimes you get sleepy especially when you're streaming as often as he's been this episode brought to you by pharaohdistro.com lock and load and better help bunch of wonderful sponsors we'll talk more about later kyle you had something you were just itching to talk about you know like i always talk about how you've oversold it yeah you really have this is gonna be the most interesting topic we've covered thus far kyle you had something you mentioned in a cursory half-interested way i tell you i've been reading those pamphlets you sent me about israel and god damn it if you

aren't right you know i've full circle. I wrote the check. Good luck to our warriors. We're all going Kanye mode. Salaam alaikum, my friends, and good luck in your battle to come. Wait, I don't know which side we're on. I thought we were pro-Israel until the end. No, I was thinking

of the new iPhone 15 just came out. There's this big, huge ad campaign. I was actually triggered a little bit by the ad campaign in a good way. I was like, oh, that's cool because they're showing that the element of titanium has traveled from so far to get to Earth so that it could be mined by us and turned

into the goddamn cell phone for you. Here it is. Look at it. It's like, all right, that's kind of neat. You got a titanium. That's the color of the phone. It's got titanium in it. And it did come from there. All right, neat and nifty. Why did titanium travel farther

than all the other materials on Earth? It would have had to be made in the heart of a star, right? Because anything more dense than Earth is only created in stars. How long is this commercial? 40 seconds or so. My point is that now that people have their hands on them they're doing i saw one reviewer do the standard like bends test you just put in your hands and you're like bend it and it

snaps it breaks and shatters and they're bending and bulging i see i've seen lots of pictures of shitty iphone 15s and then i saw them take a nokia one of the old school ones the first phone i had maybe or the one my mom had the first one she had that blue nokia block phone and they put 1 million volts through the charge port they hooked it up with this crazy apparatus i don't understand electricity enough to know how it works but they've amplified up a million volts and they're putting it into this thing and he he's just like Dr. Frankenstein, giving it the juice. And the thing's going wham, wham, and bolts of plasma are shooting out of it to the top and to the sides. It looks like fire,

but it's plasma. It's the electricity arcing through the air and ionizing. And they're like, that's enough. Back it up. Because it hasn't broken or burnt. They unconnect it. They turn it burnt. They unconnected it. They turned it on. It's got full batteries. I saw something that I think was equally true. They put the Nokia phone under a hydraulic press and the press broke. All right, that's not true.

I did see it. I saw that too. They made the top of the press out of like Play-Doh. It's a great video. There's no way it didn't break after putting a million volts but i also don't understand electricity yeah oh my god i don't understand electricity at all and my wife who has the same level of understanding of electricity as me is describing the route through which the lightning bolt went through her car and why she thinks it took out like

various computers so if people don't know it seems like lightning hit a tree next to jackie's car it seems like it might have entered through the side view mirror and from there it's just magic i have no idea but i know the mirror was blown off the side and then both of the front tires on my truck won't hold air anymore i have to fill them every time i drive the truck because i'm too lazy to get it fixed. So we've had some real lightning damage. Garage door stopped working. But for her to detail, like, which ECU to ECU, like, looking at a schematic of the computer she thinks the lightning traveled through, I don't know why she has any level of confidence in this.

But she does. Yeah. The only way to guess would be like, that's destroyed. That's destroyed. This is ruined. Oh, it didn't want to go to the center console because the napkins and pens are

in there. I'm hating the way this whole situation is getting down and I might get more involved because I, this is what's happened. I call it my insurance company and I'm like, Hey, look, I think that this car was struck by lightning.

First, we thought a deer freaked out because the side view mirror was blown off. But look more carefully. There's like a lightning bolt in the side view mirror. And there's electrical damage. For people who don't know, the car is completely unresponsive. Power doors, power windows, nothing works. The start button doesn't work.

The rear turn signals are just steady on. That's the only symptom. Just that. Okay, cool. start button doesn't work the rear turn signals are just steady on that's the only symptom just that um okay cool so we call up usaa and they're like take it to gerber collision we work with them and i was like oh okay but like this has dealer written all over it to me i'm no expert i'm out of my field but like ecu's getting replaced and programmer and computers getting swapped. That's doesn't sound like some collision store. That's the dealer. So we take it to the collision store that the insurance company said to take it

to. And they're instantly like, well, we'll tow it to the dealer for you. Thanks. Thanks for that. So there's two dealers in our area. One is these fuck shits that try to rate me every time I go there.

And for example, I call them up. I say, I'd like an oil change. And they're like, cool, we got you. And I get there and there's a bill for like this 30,000 miles service that includes everything under the sun.

And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I didn't say this car has 21,000 miles. Why did you think I wanted the 30,000 mile service when the words were oil change? And they started trying to give me this song and dance as to why I wanted it. Long story short, I got them to fix the price, but I hate them. That hasn't changed. So I told the collision place to take it to a different dealer that I don't really have any experience with. And they took it to the one I hate. The one I hate is saying it's totaled and not even that they're saying it will cost $4,600 to determine if it's totaled. And I just feel like, I don't know, a little good. It's a bad deal. Uh, go on Amazon and you can get a device that'll

read that computer. If it's, if the computer's taking any and you can get a device that'll read that computer. If it's, if the computer's taking any charge, that's the device they need. They're full of shit. That's awful. But they, they're saying just to diagnose whether it's total,

but it is total. It is total. If it's a, if, if just the parts alone and then the time and it, but you don't want the car after the repair is done is the other thing. This is where this is as bad as water damage. you ask me can i pause there yeah so like water damage and some kinds of damage like little things crop up for the rest of your car's life and that

sucks i didn't know that electrical was like that i thought that like once it worked you're like all right we got all the things fixed. It'd show itself immediately. I would be so afraid of a modern car with as many computers as are in them now that one of them was stressed. And they were like, oh, that one's still, yeah, it's sending back the 403 code. We're good. Leave it. And it's

like, well, it's not good, though. It's just barely sending back the 403 code or something. I don't know. I just feel like that whole wiring harness probably has to be replaced. They've got to gut that car. You know how dealerships are. What do they charge per hour? How many mechanics are working on this thing? How many specialists

have to show up? The computers alone. It's going to be multiple computers. It almost sounds like you're saying, hey, Woody, this dealership that's just calling it totaled without barely looking into it stay there they'll total it oh no i get out of there if you don't like it fuck them i but my i always want to get away from people that don't like so fuck but if i go to

a different dealer they might say it's not totaled i mean well then you can always go back this is like code names when people want to guess and it's like hey hey you can't win here but you can't lose why don't we wait till next true so i don't i don't think you can win right now at your current dealership but by going to the other one you can't lose i i would i would want that i always want that second opinion with everything that's going to cost more than 50 i guess like what do you think oh that guy's an idiot don't listen to him i'm glad i talked to you first the other thing that you might not none of this is my money like i i asked the insurance company specifically i'm like okay let's say the car is worth 30 grand i don't know but they charge five grand to tell you

it's totaled how much do you get how much do i get and they're like 3 500 or 35. I did the math wrong. I'm like, oh, well, I can't lose. It seems like... If you can't lose, then your only advantage would be wasting a bit more of you and your wife's time to stick it to the current dealership, which you'd want to tell them at some point for it to

be worth it as well. I need this car back ASAP. Hauling it across town, hoping to give them the business. Because fuck that guy right there. Steve? Yeah, you, Steve, you cocksucker. Steve's the reason I'm taking this $35,000 down the road. Yeah.

I'm more ready than most, though. I've also found out where Steve lives by now. Is a lightning strike not considered an act of god yeah sure right why are you asked i don't know i always see stuff on tv that's like well that's an act of god we don't cover that that's what you insure for you insure for acts of god yeah no i actually i don't have collision i always thought like like we haven't hit anything that required like real help in 30 years. Now,

if our car gets totaled, I'll just get another one and take it on the chin. But by and large insurance costs more than accidents. They make sure of that, you know, on average. So whatever it, um,

but I do have act of God insurance and it turns out that's good. Yeah. I would just cash it in then like are you gonna get the same car do you think it's probably up to her she didn't love it so i think we're looking elsewhere even better yeah yeah she all right she loved her forerunner really loved her forerunner she had it for a long time, hit everything she could find with it. And just really enjoyed it. But she ran that car until it was done.

I had 275,000 miles, something like that. And eventually, all the parts that you can see on the outside, like the fan and the belt and whatever, they stopped turning. Silver dust is flying everywhere. And this is a car coming on 300,000 miles. Silver dust. So like bits of metal like yes yeah so you're using it in the mind those scientists off the engine i thought honey maybe 10 more thousand miles but the alternator stopped working i charged it so we could drive it to the dealer and traded it in.

Yeah, that's dangerous. So we were going to get another 4Runner. But the year we got it, 2020, the 4Runners hadn't been updated for a long time. I want to say it didn't have Apple CarPlay, which is like a must for us. And it just looked dated. But this Highlander, it was either updated that year the year before and everything about it was like fancy and better and appropriate for her mission but it turned out she just didn't love it so we're gonna try to find something she likes more yeah yeah that makes sense another one with a car except it's bitch made with regard to lightning my truck

got struck too all it has is two flat tires. That's crazy. Wow. What did you do? It was a weaker strike. Upset the Lord. You know what it was, Kyle? You know, remember post show last week when we were talking to Wendigoon and you said, I was talking to Taylor and we both agreed that we would not do a joke about selling

our soul to the devil. Yeah. I wanted to do a bit on the show where woody sold his soul to the devil but i didn't even suggest it to him because i was like i know that he's an atheist but he wouldn't sell his soul to an and like all right here imagine this demon a guest comes on the show and he has sent woody the paperwork pre already and there's a lancet in there and everything. He's got to prick his thumb, put a bloody fucking thumbprint on a real contract that says that this man, as an arbiter for Satan himself, gains access to Woody's eternal soul. And so it's a well-written contract and everything. I wouldn't sign the contract is what I'm saying.

I wouldn't go through with it. I will sell you my soul for a crisp $20 bill every week. You know, we—'t just make it a recurring Halloween episode. We gotta find someone to buy his soul. Kyle, you wanna go in on, wanna split Woody's soul? $10? I so want to buy his soul.

Let's both give him $10 and we will be co-owners of his soul. What if, like, immediately our lives improve and his collapse? Like, immediately immediately your bench goes up 75 pounds you're like what happened well that makes sense you guys would have split mine so yeah yeah like get more powerful in every way and but every week woody looks like the guy from thinner he's just like becoming tiny like the. He's turning into the Crypt Keeper a week at a time.

He's looking more and more like a Mexican alien every single week. Crisping up and fading away. Just eyes sinking further and further into his skull. He's like, hey, about that soul. And we're like, I don't have it with me. I'll remember next week.

And we don't remember next week. It'll be like when we get to the pearly gates. It's like if our soul gets declined, we can be like, really? Let me check my wallet. Try this one. And they'll be like, this is an even worse half of a soul. It belongs to the devil. What are you doing with this guy?

And it's like, oh, well, you're right. I guess I don't want you. We shouldn't bring his soul to heaven. Yeah, we'll leave it here. We probably should sell it to the devil at some point if we're going to be the owners of the soul ourselves. I don't want to be involved in a devil deal.

That can't help us. Well, it's Woody's soul we're giving them. It's not ours. If it were that, then I wouldn't want to part that. God's going to know that we were middlemanning for the devil. God's going to know that we purchased Woody's soul. I don't think that we're getting out of this. I think that the reason we purchased it is to keep him from selling it to Satan

would he would Woody rather have his soul possessed by the Lord of Darkness or two retards clearly us I kind of wouldn't do anything with it I'd put it in my you want to actually sell

oh well I was being more benevolent. I was thinking I would take my half of the sold-out contract, put it in there in my safe. I was in the business of flipping souls, it would seem. You're going to make a cool $15. This is capitalism right here. Here we have Woody who has no interest in his soul. He finds it to have zero value. And here we have Satan who finds no interest in his soul he finds it have zero value and here we have satan

who finds nothing to be more valuable you know it seems like you want to really need to cut out the middle man maybe i'll but get rid of my gray hair what would actually happen is we would get bamboozled by the devil because he's smarter than we are and he would get us by virtue of the fact that we sold the soul to him. He'd be like, now you've lost your souls also. Three for one for him. Too late, fucker. Too late.

I don't know if it's an unpopular opinion. You're thinking about the devil. I already sold mine. I think Johnny plays the fiddle better than the devil. No, I have that backwards. Everyone knows that the devil plays better than that backwards everyone knows the devil plays better than johnny everyone knows the devil plays better than johnny mostly because he has accompaniment those demons and then a band of demons joined in and it sounded a little something like this

and they fucking play and it's like oh that sounds pretty good but when the devil hits his lick it's like that's a way cleaner longer better lick than what johnny hit it's definitely superior when that song is performed does the same person do both parts charlie daniels yeah yeah okay yeah i had it on my head there were like two fiddlers on stage one was clearly better charlie daniels is known as a a very good fiddler as you might imagine since he actually has the whole song about about the thing is he dead oh i don't know guy you know i remember that i remember him being very svelte very very long and slender i thought he was a big fat fiddler who was holding times yeah yeah yeah so i would not sell my soul to the devil that seems like there's nothing to gain there and i mean whatever

to lose there is your soul rising lot to lose. There he is. Your soul. Down here rising up your bone. Play your fiddle hard. That's good stuff. He looks like he's alive. Good for him. Rocking it. Oh, no, no.

He died in 2020. Now I look better. Was it COVID? That's a good question. He doesn't look like the kind of guy who'd line up for a vaccine. I bet it was well pretty much heart disease is the the easiest layup pretty much everybody dies of that i remembered him being heavier but in that photo zach show there he looks for those you don't know charlie jangles band check him out on youtube some some country music from the

i'm gonna ask you to pronounce this for me hemorrhagic stroke i made a good choice music from the... Taylor, I'm going to ask you to pronounce this for me. Hemorrhagic stroke. I made a good choice. He had a brain hemorrhage. That sucks for him. The devil took his... finally took him to the great beyond. Maybe you made a...

the devil got him. We don't know. I don't know. Did he sell his soul to the devil? I don't know that the devil got him we don't know i don't know did he sell his soul to the devil i don't know anything about this guy other than the last no seconds of you guys talking about him you don't know the song you don't know the lyrics of the song the story of the song i know well we should probably move along jesus fucking christ well who is that guy let us down again who is the fucking black guy who sold his soul to the devil in the old like oh brother where are legends uh robert something where there's like he was the best fiddler ever and in the early 1900s he sold his soul to the devil to be the best fiddler which is i would ask for more i wouldn't do it but if someone consulted me on it i would say ask for more than that dude i don't know what you're talking about but i do know know in the movie Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?, which is a great movie,

the black kid they picked up just had sold his soul to the devil at a crossroads, like a crossroads demon, to play the guitar. I have seen that movie, so that must be what I'm thinking. Oh, son, you sold your eternal soul? It's fucking great.

That's a good movie. Dude, we have to talk about the trump trial have you guys paid attention to the most recent thing i get headlines occasionally something about disbanding his uh like businesses in new york maybe and then also there was something about deciding that his property mar-a-lago in florida was worth substantially less than what he had been claiming yeah i did see that and it was like 18 million for that giant play. Dude, there is no fucking way.

That's only worth 18 million. I don't know. I saw 73 million for that place, but Trump valued it at 739 million, 10 times what you'd expect. So, so here's the deal. Trump was being sued for habitually deceiving lenders and insurers

on the value of what they were lending against and insuring and Trump's own personal net worth. Um, and the thing is he's really guilty. So there's something called puffery that is sort of normal standard practice in real estate where you might say like these wooden floors behind me, the part that's uncovered the finest wooden floors. They're the best you can get. And that's a little bit of puffery. Like, well, in my opinion, Oak is the finest, right? You know, screw your fucking mahogany or something. Salesmanship. Yeah. But that's not what trump does trump is like this room is 60 000 square feet square feet are not negotiable they're not a matter of opinion

or a term of art you can't say this building is 73 stories tall when it's really 53 stories tall this isn't puffery anymore this is deception and fraud. Here's what the judge wrote. In the defendant's world, rent regulated apartments are worth the same as unregulated apartments. Restricted land is worth the same as unrestricted land. Restrictions can evaporate into thin air. A disclaimer by one party casting responsibility onto another exonerates the party's lies. That is a fantasy world, not the real world. So that disclaimer part, what he would do is he would be like, this building is this many square feet. It's this tall. It's worth this much, but do your own research, you know, because you may have a different opinion. And they're like,

no, no, no. You can't just say, do your own research and pretend that that means that you're allowed to lie that,, that you have no liability. The judge found against that. So what happened is it was going to go to a jury trial next week, and the judge did instead a summary judgment. So I haven't had law forever, but a summary judgment is when the facts are so plain on the surface that it's not something that a jury needs to decide. If Taylor misses his court date, we don't need a jury to be like, well, you know, I think maybe he was there. I think maybe he wasn't. It's plain on itself. He either was there or he wasn't. So the judge determined that the level of Trump's deceit around the value of his properties, the size of his properties, the comps, you know, in real estate use comps like Taylor, probably a lot of homes in your area are similar.

We can look at what they sold for recently and get an estimate of what yours is worth. But he would do comps with things that like Mar-a-Lago, for example, is a country club, right? It's a golf course and it's a restaurant and shit like that. Probably a hotel. And he would compare it to a fully developed residential neighborhood that had the same square footage, but had like, you know, 6,000 houses on it. It's like, no, you can't compare your land, which has zoning restrictions against becoming that and say that yours is worth the same because the acreage is roughly similar. Like that's just lying. That's fraud. And the judge issued a summary judgment. And one of the consequences is that he has to disband all his properties. He can't work in New York anymore. So he's going to, his business is going

into receivership and then we'll be sold and the proceeds will go to trump and he will no longer be allowed to conduct business in new york along with his children and the other people in the trump enterprise and i'm just like are you saying there's a consequence it's called the going nuclear it's like the business death penalty. He got the ride him out of town on a rail. Yes. They're riding him out of town on a rail. And he's guilty, by the way. Like almost no one argues of these things.

Like nobody's saying he's not. I just didn't think they could ride yet. Ride down a town on a rail. And if you don't know that expression, Google it. It's fine. I've heard it, but I don't feel like I don't know its history that i'm laughing they get a rail and they sit you on that motherfucker and you were usually naked half beaten to death covered in tar and feathers perhaps which is not a cartoon type punishment like on a railroad they'd like put you in a caboose and be like get the hell out of springfield you're not welcome here it would be a monorail yeah anyway i am baffled that trump has now there's

going to be an appeal and i'm like he's already ordered the dissolution of this business as if it's a done deal i'm like but there's going to be an appeal right and what happens at the appeal level i don't know actually how this works. And there's also substantial fines, something along the line of like a quarter billion dollars is like the minimum. And that is going to a jury trial. That part, the judge doesn't just summary judgment. So there'll be some extended portion of this. But the findings of facts that Trump has fraudulently conducted business and routinely lied to lenders and insurers is locked in, at least until the appeal. Is there nobody checking on stuff? Like, I feel like if I were buying a big building and the guy was like, it's 80 stories, I would check. I'd at least get in the elevator and take a peek and be like, hey, this ends at 62, brother. Where's my 18 stories?

That seems like a buyer beware thing. I would never slip up and buy something. He names every floor a different name. Like, oh, that's the Peter floor. Which one is it? It's the Peter floor. It's between Sally and Judy. Bro, did you seriously not use numbers?

Yeah, just pick. What's the name word? Just literally, why are you counting? A series of glyphs. How many floors are not labeled typically like I don't even know of course there's no 13 right well I'm just making

this up because I don't know anything about anything but if a building's 87 stories tall you probably devote a floor to like maintenance and HVAC and I don't know what like I'm making shit up but like there's probably one that's just for staff and it's maintenance and HVAC and I don't know what. I'm making shit up. There's probably one that's just for staff and it's somewhere in the middle,

I guess. You don't want to go down to two every time. I've never heard of that, but if it were true, I wouldn't be surprised. I don't know. It'd be one of those buttons that has a key next to it that you need. But it's not like that floor doesn't exist. It's usually like penthouse. I'm trying to invent ways that make

it harder to count floors because how the fuck do you lie about that you literally binoculars and and how could you not see it you just could stand on the street and count or get in the fucking elevator and go you know what i would do i'd make short windows on my building so so it added up to like like make every window 20 shorter than they should be and just keep stacking them. So they wouldn't be terrible from the inside, but it looked like there's 20 more floors. There's another little fun thing about it. Trump had like five attorneys or something trying this case.

Every attorney was personally fined $7,500 for filing frivolous motions. So they were just like delaying and making bullshit or they'd file a motion and they'd like hear it out and be like, okay, that was obviously quite bullshit. You're just trying to stall us. And then they'd file the exact same motion again. And then the exact same motion a third time

until they got fines for themselves. You know, all of that was like penalty worked. Sounds Trumpy to me. All that sounds like litigious behavior that happens a lot. I don't care. It's neither here nor there. And it sounds like he's probably guilty of everything that you just said. I wouldn't be doing this to the guy who's leading in the polls.

Like, might just be the most powerful man this side of the sun the most powerful human to have ever exist this maybe wait about four give it five years and keep and and then do this guys like like when he's 85 and and his money's tapped he's about to become again the most powerful person that exists again Again, he's leading all the polls. Every time I see the numbers, and I'm not on Fox News. I don't have it. I'm on CBS, and they're showing the blue line crashing and the red line going up. They're showing Biden with 56%.

What is it when they don't like you? Disapproval rate or whatever? What is it when they don't like you? They're real gentle about oh and what they mean is 56 said they fucking hate him i wish they would ask like a like a wild card question at the bottom and 38 say they he should be forcibly castrated in the streets really yeah 38 well let's hope that number goes down for his it's a lot of america a lot of americans it's probably close it's probably close yeah um yeah i predicting the president so tough it was only

a few months earlier in this cycle at this point eight years ago that uh jeb was winning so i try not to count my chickens before their hatch but i routinely lose on this i have been picking like you were like hey it's definitely going to be bernie or bide and i'm like i'll take everyone else combined not a good move no it was probably a coin flip it was probably a coin flip or maybe it was 60 40 you know it was it wasn't like the worst bet ever to take but i just felt so what i felt was that something bad had to happen to one of them and they i knew that they weren't going to get mud thrown on them like a republican might because probably they're just more decent human beings i doubt bernie sanders

ever sucked a dick in a in a lit theater or anything or maybe he did and then he'd be it doesn't make him bad you know yeah yeah poor peewee herman he can't make us laugh anymore can he he was jerking his own dick that's the worst railroad job ever if you want to talk about someone who who got who got fucked out of the businesses but for something so silly he was in those you don't know we you know there used to be the internet so if a man wanted to jerk off to a little pornography as we do from time to time you could go down to some sleazy theater downtown and slide in there on the way home from work oh look it's the triple x rub and tug let's go and you'd go in there in

the dark and bust right there and they had some kind of a goddamn jerk detective in this one which is the first time ever is like that's peewee herman jerking it maybe they caught him there before knew he frequented but they locked him up and he he had his goatee which was not what his characters looked like and immediately like what trickled down to the playground schoolyard yeah yeah because you know we start at the courthouse and in a theater in new york somewhere and what trickles down to the playground in livonia georgia is that peewee was a ped. He liked little boys or something. Pee-Wee's dirty. Pee-Wee wants your Pee-Wee.

You know, that hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. Because we're like second graders. Pee-Wee's dirty now. Let's not watch his movies. Let's like ruin that guy's whole career. And he's just, you know, he'd be making kids laugh all day. He needed a release. All right? He did. And he was doing it with a bunch of other adult men there. And i bet the

masturbation detective that guy saw dozens of guys beating off every day it wasn't until he saw a famous face that suddenly he decided to put it back in his pants and start writing up a fucking report which is you know really unfair to peeweeee-wee's Big Adventure is an excellent film. A wonderful movie. I'll watch that 10 more times before I see Terminator 2. Because it's wonderful. It's hilarious. It's a very good movie. And he didn't deserve to be railroaded.

And now he's dead. Are you happy, America? It's cause and effect. What was it? That 25 years later he died? Paul Reuben, I think. Rest in peace. Yeah, yeah.

So on Trump, we'll see if he actually faces consequences. I'm just not accustomed to consequences of finding him for real. I have this mindset because I've been watching that stupid show Rome on HBO. And when you do someone wrong in that show, they start thinking about how to ruin you in the future. And I'm like, is Trump like that? Is he like, go find out who that guy's associated with, where his daughters go to school, if we can make them lose a job or an internship, if we can make it so that they don't get a free car anymore from this business that's been lobbying them because I put the finger to

somebody. Whatever it takes, make their life hard. Then when he's in the presidency, is he like, find out what they need. Find out what funding that district needs. Find out where his kids go to school. Find out if their volleyball team needs a federal fucking grant this year for more inflation. I don't fucking care. Find everything everything and squash it make it go to a crawl for the next four years whatever they need like i hope that's the case because that's the trump i want to believe i believe in the one that's that's the vindictive petty one who's on the ball taking his cold medicine and he's focused laser focused nice i'm yeah i i i am fully convinced trump won't be the next president but i am also maybe blinded by my own bias right i have this idea that like once he gets

out there talking and people revisit the insanity that is a typical trump word salad that he's going to lose some support. People love the idea of Trump. But the reality of Trump, he's been bad. I think they're going to legally preclude him from running with some shit and be like, oh, this document thing, you can't run now.

They'll wait really late into the game, I think, to do it. That'd be the worst time. I don't even know what I want. It's a guy who doesn't like Trump and thinks that he's me. I saw their debates last night. And, uh,

um, I was like, I think I'd take almost maybe every single one of these guys over Trump. Not a huge fan of, um, the Santas, but Trump, I'm really,

really down on, but it's like, do you actually want Trump to be prevented from getting on the ballot more than you put them on there and let his ideas lose that would be perhaps the ideal outcome for a guy i don't think his opponents want him on there like he's so much more popular than everybody else he's competing against from a national perspective so i i respect that opinion and you're on to something i agree however i feel like historically every time the two candidates

are chosen they get elevated to the same level one guy can be a no one but if the rnc says mccain's our guy this year suddenly he's on par with obama no no he got butt fucked by obama uh didn't he lose like bad it was bad like it wasn't even so it wasn't a reagan-like blowout or anything but it looked bad and every now and then the political sector it'll be like holy shit can the left is the left dead or is the right dead like they just got beat they never are they never are because it's like never they rise like the phoenix again like two to four years we should have like 30 party has good enough answers to keep the ball rolling they can't get that fucking dynasty established like you see they need kirby

smart to be the president of the united states he's the coach of the university of georgia so after he wins his third national title this year should put him in the white house because that guy understands a dynasty mentality 100 we need a president who can win three terms yeah he would he would win he would win georgia so not one person in georgia would vote the other way i mean there's a lot there's a lot of georgia tech fans but okay who would go against that guy but they lose yeah not not many i i bet someone like if he wins a third term he really could probably do some political stuff here but why would he want to like that job i don't know trump win a third term is that what you meant we're talking about

kirby smart the coach of oh if he wins well he hasn't won any terms yet well i'm calling national championships terms i suppose but if he wins the third one in a row i like what if he ran for governor could he win as governor? Would he want to? Make way less money to have less fun and be less famous? I don't think he would. Good point.

Let's guess what Kirby Smart gets paid a year. I doubt he's one of the highest paid because he's probably had a contract. I bet it's like $5 million a year. It's got to be ridiculous. I bet it's $10 million. It seems like on the collegiate level especially, they're great at giving you a perks package that's so impressive

that it's like, oh, fuck the cash. Really? The jet forever? And fuel too? There's not a maintenance cost you're sneaking in. You handle the maintenance? The engines get updated every six years? Are you serious?

Like the perks packages can be nutty. Arnold Schwarzenegger's perk package for Terminator 2 was $86 million. His perk package for the film was. This guy, the coach for Georgia, has a 10-year, $112.5 million contract.

So he earns $10.25 million every year. And that's his contract i i don't know this to be true i'm just making it up doesn't nike probably pay him like five million a year or something i bet he has my guess would be that they pay the ncaa and the ncaa like trickles that money down to all the teams probably i bet there's a bigger contract as far as the overarching sponsorships like Nike. All I know is in basketball, it didn't used to work that way. No? So I don't know if that data point is worth anything.

I'm glad you brought basketball. As much as I despise LeBron James, I'm looking for some new sneakers. I love that you hate him so much. He's so meaningless in your life and interests. I just hate looking at him. To me, he is a guy I never think about unless I'm like. Well, you know, he comes up. You know, I talk a lot of sports in my regular life. I watch ESPN all day and I have to see that cocksucker.

And anyway, I hate him. And as much as I do hate him. That's such a good man. That man makes a fine sneaker. All right. Like I'm looking at the, like, like the shoes I want are LeBron's.

Zach, can we see a picture? I can't even pull up a pair of LeBron's. I like the white and gold 1980s. I like the white. I like white on white, but the white with gold is nice. I don't.

And there's one that's kind of got some like fruity colors on it. And it's not bad either. I like, like I like the design. I think it's not bad either i like like i like the design i think it's it doesn't look like a piece of shit because so many times i'm like i'm not putting that on my shoe i'm on my foot like that looks ugly it just looks like a nice clean shoe well yeah yeah yeah oh sure that's that's the exact shoe i like did you see uh that or the white one some news story about lebron's school did Did you see that not one 8th grade student has passed a math exam?

Like those placement exams since 2020? Yeah, I got beaten to death the other day there. Okay, well then, what are we doing? He's got to get his school under control. It sounds like it's doing bad. Don't look into why that child was beaten to death. It had nothing to do with race. Those three black children just happened to not like

that that white child's friend squirted them with a gel pellet gun. Wait, someone actually was beaten to death? Yeah, one kid shot at another kid with one of those gel pellet guns. So they came over and hit the other guy. What is those gel pellet guns and uh so they came over and what is the other guy pellet gun i don't know this yeah it's i i don't know where they came from it's probably a kickstarter or some shit but they got super popular especially in like i would see black neighborhoods where everybody had them like shooting each other having fun with them they shoot these biodegradable gel pellets that are soft and squishy but you like like blast with them they shoot these biodegradable gel palettes that are soft and squishy but you like

like blast with them they hurt a lot so it's nah no it's like silly it's like it's not paintball airsoft it's not that it's it's more like let's be silly with like nerf it's like a little bit above nerf okay and uh so i guess like somebody got shot one of those got mad and came over and hit the the white dude and then he fell and he he never got up again, and he never will. So that's what happened there, because I saw the tweet, and then Elon interacted with the tweet in some way. I don't remember what he wrote, and so

I read into it a little bit more. I see. Yeah, no, I read that. So the original thing I saw called it a squirt gun, and it was actually a pellet gun. And I was like, ooh, I know what a pellet gun is. And that's, that'll break the skin, you know?

John Candy said so. Yeah. That's how White Boy lost his eye. Not this gun. But this, I guess, is not the pellet gun that I'm imagining. They're little lead pellets in a normal pellet gun. Yeah, it's not a real pellet gun. A real pellet gun, you can fuck somebody up.

It's like shooting Tide Pods, almost. It's these little gel thingies they're tiny though um i've never had one i've just seen like lots of fun videos of they were like this used to be the most dangerous neighborhood in all of chicago what do they do they pass down 300 gel pellet rifles now the kids are having fun everybody's just having a war in the street shooting each other doing drive-bys with drill pellet guns is that true yeah somewhat okay damn that's a little bit then this school's not doing well this school's seems like a terrible terrible school and why is it so bad because it well funded. So did they just start with some really underachieving students? I'm making up reasons as to why it might be so terrible. Like they grab the students on the edge of dropping out, put them all in the same school and hope to turn their lives around.

In a situation like that, you're taking a really hard task. No one's even passing math. No one's even passing math. No one. How do you not have a guy who's just naturally good at math? I think LeBron James is bad at teaching. He's the only teacher who never shows up. I wonder what they do in China when you fail. I pick China because I think of them as a no-nonsense sort of place.

What do you do if you're a third grader who can't cut it? You don't have an excuse. You're not disabled in any way. But clearly you're not paying attention, Chop Singh. You don't know your A, B, fucking whatever the hell. You don't behave! You don't behave! We send you

to LeBron James School! In free room! I think learning your A, B, whatever the hell is an underappreciated joke your ab chicken scratches yeah like whatever the shit they don't want to get sent to this fucking shithole school so they behave like like forget lebron james school in every school in america it doesn't matter if you're matter if you do anything they'll just keep moving you along I don't think they fail kids I think that there are very few

places where they will fail you no matter what you do like maybe you don't get a diploma at the end but they'll keep you along the whole fucking time and just let you show up and leave and they won't hold you back you'll just be in another grade next year.

They won't do it. And there needs to be something for that. There needs to be. You don't want to turn out like those people over there, do you? Because everything else in life, they do that. Well, I don't want to go to bed. Why not? Well, you don't want to be like that guy, do you?

We need that guy to point at again. We need consequences. So there should be some kids who, ah, shit. Looks like you can't read, Timmy. Looks like you're not trying to very hard. Well, outside with you. What do you mean? You live outside now for eight hours a day out there in the kennels.

Just put them out there in the kennels or something of chopped wood. Give them a little craft. You can dig ditches with the team out there. Make them dig ditches. Slave labor of some kind. Just put them to work. So like punishment, but we're also building infrastructure. Yeah. Well, basically, it's like, all right, you don't want to learn.

There's plenty of jobs that do not require you to know your ABCs, like digging that hole out there with those fellows. Yeah, you didn't try in math or English. And so you clearly are very interested in the career of ditch digging. in math or english and so you clearly are very interested in the career of ditch digging so your semester will be ditch digging and then they won't go to the ditch digging class the same way they didn't go to the math class well i mean if they don't thinking is that bad a job i bet they don't even manual ditch digging or like one of those were those like now you're working at chainsaw thing i had excavator in my head which is the big bucket on the front that like those are fun to work if you well you don't want just anybody doing that

you want to operate one what do you have i operated one yeah excavator uh yes i have but i'm not good at it i don't have a lot of time nobody's good at it first time it's it's fun to fuck around with yeah it's like i'm i was at the level where like i'll bump this a little bit see what it does okay i want the opposite of that probably the other way you know and just like start to work on but the people who do it i can work a um front end loader pretty well um not amazing but i didn't do that yeah that's um the excavator is very fun uh of course i was a kid when i was using it i guess i've got a job right now like digging holes all day but like not so fun after all but you know

it's really fun as a kid to be moving there like digging that huge hole and having all that power to just when i would commute to cisco um i got into woodworking and i just hated my job like just hated my job. Cisco didn't treat me poorly or anything, but just going, working in a cube. All our cubes were the color of dirty dishwater, which had a big impact on me. I don't know if everyone's like that.

Like a gray? A gray with some squiggles in it. Squirrels? Like dirty dishwater. And you would just sit there, surrounded by this sort of dirty dishwater with your illusion of privacy. And then I would work there all day long. And the nature of my job was often like to be persuasive

and that gets just tiring. Like you have to persuade, but you don't have authority in some situations like over other people's groups. And just every fucking day trying to get people on board. And anyway, but I would commute to work passing guys who were like, uh,

expanding the road from one lane each way to two lanes each way. And I'm like, man, they're living the life out there in these like diesel earth movers. You know, there's, there's, I don't know the name of the machine but it's long and it has a scraper blade in the middle and it makes things

level the grading machine a great okay so i particularly thought operating the grader was the dream i don't know why that one but they're so cool uh my dad when he built a couple of poultry houses you bring in multiple of those and they look like dinosaurs moving along, just carving the earth anew. It's like this is a valley, but it won't be in two weeks. They cut the hill down and filled the valley with the hill. And now they have this huge flat spot and it pushes down on the dirt so hard that it compresses it. And it's shiny, almost like glass. It's like that the clay turns into this Like the light refracts off of it,

and it pushes it together in a way that it looks like... Sometimes when they split a rock, and then they polish it, it'll have that really beautiful look to it on the inside, like geodes and stuff. That's what the dirt looked like after a grader went over it. It was really cool. That's the machine.

Yeah, that one... The one I imagine has two wheels, or four wheels, but that's it. Is that not's the one i imagine has two wheels or four wheels but that's it is that not what you were talking about kyle the one i'm thinking of is is the bigger version of it this is um bigger than a talking truck oh this is good yeah yeah see woody you can't get in this that's a toy so that'll get you nowhere traditionally made of metal but they make some big ones like diesel engines you can get inside of it and no that's a the word i have for that piece of machinery the record size one obviously is a i think a road scrape but those grading machines look like something different i was actually thinking about this last night bizarrely enough because i was thinking about

what that land looked like before they graded it so long ago but But yeah, big machinery is fun to operate, and I've thought about that too. There's that scene in Office Space, which I'm sure maybe even triggered the thoughts that you're having, where he despises the monotony of that cubicle life and the horseshit of having eight bosses and whatever. And his buddy is out there just getting dirty,

sweating, carrying bags of concrete, digging with a shovel, but nobody's giving him any them any everybody's there as equals doing their thing nobody's getting on they're just getting done and and and that's a lot more appealing to it and it i'm sure it's a lot more appealing to a lot of people yeah i'm not sure there's a good i used to think that you got me thinking about my days at cisco So here's the deal. I was kind of a high performance employee. I did a good job. My projects were done on time and I went years without a single bug making it out of my desk, which is very, very uncommon. And a normal programmer has like a bug every 10 lines of code or something. I went thousands, but I wasn't a dream employee because I knew that I was high

performance. So I was very high maintenance. I would demand bonuses and raises and promotions constantly. Pretty much every fucking week I'd be in my boss's office being like, how are we looking for this cap award? Cisco Achievement Program. They had these bonuses they would give you and they'd pay your taxes too. So I told him I had one fucking kid instead of two. So they'd pay more in taxes. too so i told him i had one fucking kid instead of two so they pay more in taxes careful trump tried that now they're getting him for it

yeah and you know if i wanted like software tools or something like books it was just like i would just demand a lot so not perfect in every way but my projects would get done. So I was sort of high performance and high maintenance at the same time. And we do these team building events. And I suggested that we watch office space. Yeah. Sometimes I mix the title with the office, which is the tape. And we watched that at work and it just demotivated fucking everybody.

You watch Rudy. Yeah. Right. Right. You fucking everybody you watch rudy yeah right right yeah you watch you watch fucking miracle on ice you watch something we started referring to like some of our tasks as tps reports like it infiltrated the team you were doing that to make everybody else worse so that you were like yes now an even greater chasm has emerged and i can all right now everybody get out there and put in a hard day's work today. As many lines of code as you can. No faults. Remember, no faults. And then you get back in your cubicle.

Perfection, perfection, perfection. Get to work, Gresh. See, that seemed, it would seem easier to tear them down than to carry out that years-long streak of perfection. What about you made you so much better at specifically writing thousands of lines of code without an error?

Was it that your coding was a little bit different, less prone to committing errors or was, are you just that, that's that studious, that careful. I think I was just a little more diligent in the way that I tested it. And it was, so we have a quality assurance diligent in the way that I tested it. And it was so we have a quality assurance team and the development team and the quality assurance team have a bit of a rivalry.

Right. Like the QA guy sits in your cube because he wants to talk to you about your code. The fuck is wrong with you? Why? Why do you suck so bad? That's what he wants to know. So QA guys were not welcome well not that they weren't welcoming you but the i didn't want them ever to be asking me how my shit worked or why it's doing a certain thing

um and i did have a qa guy ask me this is in a meeting though about my cabs he's the guy that where that story originated from they're like how do you do it it? I see you enter the room in shorts and I'm like, oh my God. Your calves, they're huge. You could wear shorts at Cisco? I wore fucking flip-flops because I was Woody. You really took that movie to heart. You came in with sunglasses

and a fucking Tommy Bahama shirt on. Yeah, yeah. I legit did wear flip-flops or mandals or whatever the fuck I wanted. I made my own dress code. I don't see any reason to have much of a dress code if you're going to be in a cubicle. If you're ever going to be interacting with anyone

who's from a different floor of the building even, or certainly from outside the building, then that would make sense. But if you're just in a cubicle, like head down, getting your shit done done who fucking cares about your footwear like you really come in here talk about my footwear boss like what i i wouldn't recommend it like i don't want anyone to be inspired to do this i when i was in high school i read this book on how to get into college and some guy got into harvard and his essay was a man he admired. So the dude got a red

crown and he wrote for like a thousand words, a man named Jesus Christ, a man named Jesus Christ, a man named Jesus Christ, just paper age. And he turned in this crown written essay and he got into Harvard. But the book suggested, don't copy that idea. Don't try to get in Harvard in spite of your essay. Try to get in Harvard because of your essay. You'll have a much higher success rate. So I would argue I got whatever my promotions and raises in spite of my footwear. When I would have done myself a little favor to put on some fucking Dockers or whatever everyone else was wearing. But I was an asshole.

So what are you gonna do because you weren't bugging up the the works the way everybody else was yeah yeah that was how i saw it too and uh um i was sought after amongst the managers like they'd like oh i've got this thing and we're all gonna be measured on it and i need a a lead. Can I have Woody? Like that was who I was there. So like, are you going to pay his taxes? That was one of my favorite moves.

There's nothing illegal about it. I just had to deduct as if I had fewer deductions. I didn't even know you could do that. I guess you got to be a really good coder or programmer. Is there a difference? Is there a difference? Is there a difference between a coder and a programmer? What's the one? Is it W4, the one you fill out when you first get a job?

Yes, I think so. Yeah, claim zero on your W4. I claim one. I want to pay off. But yeah. Kyle, did you ever have the car dealership pay your taxes for you? Walking around in flip flops? mean like file them for me no no no i didn't say it out that way i don't remember um i think i think i got this back then i had the same tax guy as my dad um and um you know i think I think he still has that same guy. But no, no, I didn't pay my taxes for me.

We had a dress code, but it was, you know, just don't look like an asshole. You could either wear a button up or you could wear one of their polos. And that was it. Yeah, you couldn't wear a customer. You have to look presentable. Yeah. Well, some guys would push that and try to come in on their off day and sell a car wearing like a falcons jersey i wouldn't like that if i'm there and some guy in a falcons jersey comes up to me

and is like how do you like the new tacoma i'm like look i'm not looking for friends here bud like i did oh you work here all right well then can i talk to the guy in the tie like yeah i would have you i like the idea of like eyeballing the customer as he comes in and doing a quick change you know kyle shows up with like one fucking gold tooth and a big chain let me show you the grill and then he shows him his own teeth kyle's in the back like looking and like like like getting ready to like code switch and to talk to black people mode oh yeah like putting on his his atlanta falcons jersey or whatever

would you do that i would oh yeah i would absolutely code switch like that's what i would do i every there's probably different ones. There's definitely like a southern dude. There's a way to talk to another white man from the south. And there's a way to talk to like, you know, black folks. And there's a way to talk to like a hoity toity. alpha alpha alpha georgia is where i was alpharetta georgia and there the at the time the median income was like 175k or something like that and the median combined was over 300 and the average beacon score was like 725 725 was the average and so they're if they're coming into your ford dealership you kind of got to get them while you can. If it's that guy, because he's going to Audi after here or somewhere like that. Like he's going to go look at a fucking Lexus and compare it to your Fusion. So either he buys now or he's leaving. So I don't know.

I treat them a little different, too. That makes sense. Mostly just just like maybe my accent and some of the words. I like the way that I've seen Kyle code switch. He does it really well. It's personable and it always works. You can put them in Boston. You can put them with a real country guy.

There's only two versions of me. There's me. And then if I think that's not well received, acquired a version of me. That's what I can bring to you. That's perfect. All right. i am not being well received time to clam up and be silent we'll just get a smile and laugh at your jokes from here going forward that that works you know just just just clam up you're not getting a quieter version of me

Just clam up. There's a quieter version of me. That's hilarious. Kyle, how do you code? I'm going to name a consumer. You code switch into it. A Japanese man, brand new to Atlanta, and he wants to feel like real American.

He just moved here. Actually, no, now he Chinese, and he just moved here. Well, you know, sir, the thing about these American cars, they're they're really not like any automobile built anywhere else in the world. That's because American roads are like nothing else anywhere else in the world. American parking, our culture and our country is built around the motor vehicle. First motor vehicle is the Ford Model T. And we live, we bring that tradition on don't care how big it is and, frankly, how much fuel mileage it gets. I'd sell them like that. I'd beef them up about America and size.

I'm like, do you know that Ford makes the largest SUV ever? Ever? We've got one. I was hoping you'd be like, oh, hello. I got a used Excursion out there. Oh, hello. Oh, you think I'm going to try to be Japanese? Oh, I put on my

round little glasses and misidentified the Chinese guy as Japanese and now you're his enemy. He's like, I just moved from Beijing and you're like, oh, a small world. Oh, me too. I'm from Tokyo. from Beijing. And you're like, oh, a small world. Oh, me too. I'm from Tokyo.

I'm from wherever you're from. Are you from North Cheat Town too? Jesus. So you wouldn't mirror their accent back at them. No. But I would fuck with them for sure. I felt like it would be more theatrical with a foreigner, and they wouldn't realize I was being ridiculous.

So I'd be pretty boisterous. My arms would be moving, and I might jump around a little. I'd be raising my voice quite a bit, like getting hyped up about the car. And there were Easternans you talked to who like probably just thought that different stuff was cool so if there was like a serbian guy who came in you could be like those guys don't come i finally need to show uh i have someone to show the the purple interior lexus too that's been sitting burning a hole in our pocket on the lot

because this fucking serbian guy will think it's neat this Persian will think it's cool actually include me in that purple Woody will think it's cool not my purple car yeah I guess you definitely just want to talk to people or I felt like you wanted to talk to different people differently because they're going to expect something different I think or different things will work on different people differently because they're going to expect something different i think or different things will work on different people of course that's just not being bad at sales if you're trying to sell everyone the same way you probably suck because like it seemed like with black people it seemed like it was easy to make this car buying experience like a fucking party we're about to have like like we're about about like let's get the fuck out of here so we go have some fun in this thing let's go somewhere and do a thing like hey before we get down to the nitty-gritty who wants to see a magic

trick oh shit oh shit oh shit that knows magic So you wouldn't do that You're a fucking warlock A sorcerer You didn't have a magic trick in your back pocket To be endearing I used to A story based card trick Oh yep

And this that and the other is really good for killing time because you know we can sit there and I can make that trick go for a long time I can keep rotating it and keep going for a long time and kill some time and also make you think that I am a wizard if you happen to be an African American because they do believe in magic readily

they don't look into it a bit that's the best part about it I want to believe in magic. You do the thumb thing. They didn't fall for the gotcha nose. They're like, my nose isn't white. Don't try and take adults' noses. They hate it.

Would that be racist if you painted your thumb and then did the... If you did then did the if you did black thumb if you did black thumb so you're gonna you're gonna steal it let's say you're gonna steal a small black child's nose and uh but and preemptively you paint your whole thumb like chestnut brown and then you come up and there it is and they're like wait wait did you did you paint your... Are you wearing black thumb? It's cool, right? It's cool, right? I'm going to be a Canadian prime minister.

Yeah, I bet they would. I'm with five-year-olds. Dude, they would hate if you did black thumb. I don't want anyone, any other adult touching my face in public. And I think that's a very normal impulse let me tell you uh john jones was at this expo and he's like back behind a booth um pimping some product or whatever and a guy comes up and starts talking shit and reaches up and gets his beard gives him a little beard flick and you could see john's eyes just john doesn't raise his voice or anything

he's just like it's okay it's okay no no don't hold him voice or anything. He's just like, it's okay. It's okay. No, no, no. Don't hold him back. Don't hold him back. He's good. He's good. Let him go. Let him go. Was this just a random guy who was trying to fuck with him? It's a big man who's calling John out and talking shit. Another fighter? No,

just a human being who likes slapping tigers in the face, I guess. Then it was like, John's not going to come over the counter and hurt you because he can't. But if you were to cross over into his counter, if you were to go over that table, he would hurt you so bad. Man, I can't wait for the next Jon Jones fight.

He's going to fight Stipe, who for Taylor's benefit is like the big white champ who everybody thinks of as maybe one of the best certainly the best left because of you guys Stipe Miocic Stipe has the most title defenses at heavyweight ever heavyweight because everyone has dynamite

in their hands people don't seem to be able to win like three times in a row it's whatever but Stipe did and by the numbers he's the best ever. Is he actually? I don't know. A lot of people say Kane.

Some people say Fedor. Kane smoked Fedor. Of course, I've never seen Fedor in a fight that I couldn't say for... When I see him in Japan, I'm like, who's he fighting? What did they talk about before they fought? I don't know if I believe all this. This guy doesn't have a Wikipedia page. And now

when I see him fight, and I saw him fight Chael, he's fought everyone. Like the last Matt Mitrione, he fought him a few years ago. He just gets his ass whooped half the time, maybe three quarters of the time. They just rough that guy up left and right. So I have a hard... He's before

my time as a fan, so I didn't see him when he did anything impressive. And when I look back at the old videos, I don't know if they're real or not, or who these fucks are. They're in a boxing ring. They're wearing weird gloves. He fought in Pride in Japan,

and it was notoriously corrupt. Their contract specified, we promise not to test you for drugs, which is hilarious. They say a lot of the fights were fixed. But anyway, Jon Jones is going to fight that guy. Man, I love Jon Jones. I love everything about him.

I love how awful he is. I love that he's clearly putting on two or three fake faces at a time. He wears he wears like three masks at once. And they're all like semi transparent. He's like he's got three fake guys. He's pretending to be all the same fucking time. And and and I we know what he is. And that's what I like.

I like the I like the piece of shit john the one who's like yeah i hit a pregnant woman it's not like she died like like she's you know i bet that's what he said in private like i like the villain john jones if you can do what he did do what kyle does and get past like being upset over the fakeness and just appreciate it as him being if he was just straight up an asshole and evil dick who like ram pregnant women and i'm sorry rammed pregnant women with their car broke her arm you know how hard you have to hit someone to break an arm in a modern car pretty hard so he hits her hard enough to break her arm runs from the scene hit and run then he realizes oh shit i've got my

drug paraphernalia still in my car runs back to his car and escapes again and it but then he pretends to be this absolutely god-fearing super wonderful person great father great husband uh if you do pot i'm gonna rat you out because i can't have people doing bad things in this world that's who he says he is and if you get all upset and riled up over that yeah you're you know uh falling for the mark you're a mark but if you appreciate oh i think it's funny that he's a piece of shit and the fact that he claims is not just doubles it's two layers of shit then you can enjoy him i like the fake religiousness the religious tattoos him giving thanks to god when you know it's he's doing it with a he's doing it with a grin. He's just like, yeah, thanks to God. Thanks to you, Lord.

Maybe he sold his soul to Satan. The guy he's fighting is genuinely a really nice guy. He's got a great marriage, good kids. He's a fireman. He doesn't need to work. He just enjoys saving lives. I got beats his wife. I don't to i got beats his wife just enjoys saving lives yeah i got i got beats his wife i don't care john jones yeah he beats his look she's still there she has she's clearly okay with it too i'm gonna root for the nicer guy then uh keep going i've been doing that that

hasn't worked for anyone for 20 fucking years 20 fucking years they've been rooting for the nice guy and every time the last john j, he just won the heavyweight title. He was the light heavyweight champion since he was like 19 or something like that. And he's 37 roughly, but he, now he's a heavyweight. They,

they set him up against Cyril gone. The guy who's supposed to be so slick, so fast, so elusive, this French big black guy. And John choked him on, choked him out and made him tap in like 40 seconds. And the look on Gon's face, there should be posters of that.

Make that into a poster and I'll buy it. John's walking away going, shh. And you can see Cyril over his shoulder, on his ass, against the cage, with a look of confused terror. It's like, what just happened to me? Wait, what do you mean it's all over we just started i never touched him and he didn't he never touched john john walked over there danced a little and then grabbed him and then cereal was on his ass and sean put put him in some choke that i couldn't

even tell he was doing to him and he was tap tap tap tap and that was it and it was like what the fuck that was supposed to be the Terminator. And then, of course, the next day, they're like, yeah, God's not actually that good. You know, he's not really that good. It's not a big deal that John walked in there and eliminated him in 45 seconds. It's not.

John could have held that choke and killed that man right there in another 90 seconds, and he'd be dead on the floor. I think that's how all the jokes work, though, right? Yes, it is. That's not you, Jim. Sorry. But okay. What I'm saying is he walked in there

and he could have had that man dead on the floor in under two minutes with his bare hands. And that's not a civilian. That's the best they could come up with. That's the best they could come up with on the planet. But even John Jones loses to the mighty gun. The gun?

The mighty gun, yes. So what's interesting is that john jones is like a well-rounded lethal man uh i'll call him he's got the belgian malinois attack dog that he trains with and he he does that john wick style like three gun shooting so you see him like like bang bang bang bang bang with the rifle dropping the rifle go into the handgun and like quick draw and stuff so like i think he's. I think he's as close to a superhero as I know that exists.

There's a SEAL Team 6 guy somewhere who you would absolutely want to send on a mission somewhere to get something done. You don't know nothing about that. But if we're sending people into a room to fight to the death, there's nobody I can imagine who's more skilled in more areas than Jon Jones. And he's 6'4". And he's been doing it his whole life. to death there's nobody i can imagine who's more skilled in more areas that that than john jones

and he's six foot four and he's been doing it his whole life you know he's just a terrifying it's not good to be tall in a gunfight a gunfight like if he's in a gunfight with keanu reeves and keanu reeves is six feet tall or whatever he's gonna have an easier time winging john jones ah like so so you you want to pick odd job for that kind of a scenario you want well you couldn't pick odd job just like in double a seven it's cheating well say what you want it's my game system that you want nachos after this i'll tell mom kid did you do that shit you demanded that mom three nachos tay Taylor doesn't want any. Yeah, fruit salad for him. No, that would have been...

His mom said so. If you were that kid, damn, I would have not liked playing 007 GoldenEye with you because that was unfair. The person who was actually really good always picked Jaws because Jaws was taller than everyone else. And so if you could win as jaws it was a flex

no what i just described would be the scummiest thing ever um yeah you don't play odd job nobody played odd job i didn't have a lay around with my snacks either because i didn't have i didn't i didn't have a 64 my sister did and she wouldn't let me play it like when she was away at another person's house or like hanging out i would get her 64 hook it up real quick and play paper mario and i'd get like halfway through the you know the campaign and she'd get home and fucking pull that fucking cartridge out throw it in the drawer wrap that cord around let me save let me say no no delete all my saves like it's my fucking 64 put it back in her closet oh my god that is both my that would not

have flown with my parents like we we were not allowed to just be like if i got an n64 for christmas or something it was well established like this is not yours really like you can't tell your brothers they can't use it like it's for everyone it stays here i like my my brother had a job he's two years older than me so he was 14 i was 12 call it and he had a job so he bought a nintendo 64 i had no job so when he was out working i played with his nintendo 64 like a piece of shit what's the game with link uh you can't tell zelda zelda yeah i beat zelda on his gaming station and he was bad yeah there's nothing wrong with that yeah he didn't like that I got I guess he felt like he was subsidizing my

good time yeah I don't think that I mean it's not like you were stealing it from him he couldn't have played at that time anyway there was nothing to have been lost the only reason you wouldn't want someone using a ton of your n64 was because those middle joysticks lost tension very quickly compared to other ones. And so if you recall, you'd go to a friend's house and they'd have four controllers on their N64. And obviously, when you notice them like doing the quick walk, it's like, you know, oh, fuck, there's probably only a couple of good controllers. And then they hand you one. And then we're trying to play Mario or Super Smash, and

it's like, there's no tensile strength to this. It's like, you can move it around as much as you want unless you really jam it to the side. You can't get your guy to jump. You really do need some rubber bands. Yeah. I remember, man, N64 was so fun. I think I'm gonna... I bet they're expensive now. No.

You can get an emulator uh i got super mario's as a chrome extension like those games are so little that that it's just on my it's just stuck on my uh well i don't want to play it on the old n64 controller for fun you know oh well you can get that so you can buy you can buy these things and um it's the old controller and it's like every game ever you know those bootleg ones like you don't need like the real system but i bet an n64 you can get for cheap there's usb and 64 controllers he said that would be the way to go with an emulator because then you then you're like actually i want to play zelda 3 nah fuck it super mario's 4 no fuck it super

mario's 2 and you can just just bounce around because those games are kind of interchangeable. Looking back, those controllers were bad. Real bad. They really only worked for a child hand. A standard Xbox now is fantastic.

The D-pad that's like... Back in the day, I used to play this computer game, a PC game, Falcon 3. It was a jet game. And I bought a joystick called the Thrustmaster. And they're not as good as they are now. Nowadays, they get a run-of-the-mill joystick for aviation is better.

But Jackie nicknamed me the Thrustmaster for a good decade after that. The Thrustmaster. Were you so proud of yourself that first time where you're sitting down with your Thrustmaster and you're like, I'm a pilot? No, because that

was a bad pilot. It was like, we're going to have to turn off crashing. I've never landed successfully in that game. I think that was an overrated skill. An overrated skill? Yeah, I think you could point me at the plane and I could get in

and fly it. I think if it was like a regular plane, I think I could just get in there, figure it out, and take off. I think modern planes are way, especially like commercial planes, are way, way easier than we're let on to fly but like if you were hopping in a little i don't know what a little plane cessna's that's not sure yeah if you

were hopping in that like that that would probably be pretty tough to just wing it i think they said it took five i think it was five thousand dollars to get your license i don't remember how many hours they said but they just kept going on about that book work and I didn't want to do it, but I kind of wish I had now. That would be cool. It was hours. It was weeks. What is the front of the plan? Have you done takeoffs and landings in a plate before, Kyle? Yeah.

Yeah. I just need help with some of the flaps and stuff. I feel like I need there are they'll be like, all when you approach you want to go this fast with your flaps at this thing and there's like repeatable sort of milestones if i had some cheat cards i think i could launch and land a plane i've done it with someone talking me through it but i would that's what i did as well i did it with someone talking me

through it both both times obviously i got spooked on my landing, and I told the instructor, I was like, all right, you have the plane, you have the plane, because I didn't feel like I was doing it right. And he said no. Yeah. You can't say no. We're both going to die. I thought we had a deal.

Little did you know, his controls don't even work. I couldn't afford a real trainer. I'm so sorry sir do we we talked about this before i remember like my grandma buying me a game shark at and or at uh toys r us and like being a little nervous like leaving being like there's they don't want us to have this like i was like i was like seven and so i didn't have a conception man if those if the jacks find out i have this they'll confiscate my sister it was yeah because like at the time they had like you could get like uh pokemon red you could go to like get whatever game store you wanted and they'd have a big magazine that was

like pokemon red and blue and then you could open through that it would have like a map of the the different levels and how oh this is how you these are all the turns in that cave you have to make your way through oh this is that tip this is that tip and then it would like have ads in there where it was like with game shark you can do this with your pokemon you can add this and like obviously didn't have the wherewithal in my little mind at the time to realize like it's being advertised in a magazine that says nintendo over the top but i thought like they wouldn't lie i thought it would be like free cable or something over there yeah basically um yeah i had a i had a game genie i i specifically remember that it's like a bald genie i think think, with his arms crossed, a white guy.

It was like Mr. Clean, and he's just like giving you the fucking nod of, fuck that game however you want, dude. A thousand lives, have them. And as a six-year-old trying to beat Mario Brothers, I needed some help. I couldn't do it. I was always on the way that people could. The way the cheats worked on Pokemon Red back in the day,

it was like Pokemon red and blue which came out in like 98 so i was seven perfect lineup for it and it wasn't like modern cheating where like if you get caught you get booted off or like it's a single player game so like they're not going to kick you off for cheating in skyrim or something but if you fucked up a cheat on like pokemon blue or pokemon red you know there was this thing you could do where you could go to vermilion city and talk to this guy uh and it was he was an early guy a bald man who you were supposed to talk to early game who you talked to and he said do you need to know how to catch a pokemon and then if you said no he'd be like oh i'm sorry to bother you and then he would leave but if you said if you said yes he'd be like let's go teach you how to catch pokemon and then he would do that and so you

had to put if i recall whatever item you wanted to make infinite which was always rare candies because that was a free level up you put that in your seventh i think it is it was either i think it was your seventh or ninth inventory slot and then you talked to that guy and then you flew directly from there to cinnabar island which is where blaine the fire gym master was and then you talked to that guy and then you flew directly from there to cinnabar island which is where blaine the fire gym master was and then you immediately walked over and you surfed up and down on the right side of cinnabar island and instead of a pokemon popping up because usually it would pop up and be like oh a tentacool is here oh a lapras like some water pokemon would show up a big box like of glitches that looked like um a qr code would show up on there and it would say missing no which is missing number

but we didn't know as kids we just thought it was like a thing called missing no and while missing no there it is and so if you killed the missing no and it would be anywhere between level one and level like a thousand and like but it always died easy and so you killed that thing and then you checked your inventory and it was whatever you had in the seventh slot you had a hundred or two hundred of them something like that and so then you could just boost up your pokemon in ridiculous ways but it was and this was like one of the uh like schoolyard things that like you you tossed around is the information if you ever caught a missing no if you threw a poke ball at it and you caught it it would often brick your entire game like it could never be fixed it

was ruined it wouldn't start if you if you turned it, it would just go and say, like, Game Boy. And then blink out. And so every once in a while, someone would be like, they'd want to catch the missing no. And people on the playground would be like, don't catch the missing no. You're going to ruin your game. And then they would, and it would often ruin their games. But yeah, it was high stakes cheating back then.

Because when you're seven years old and your Pokemon Red breaks, what are you going to do? Your parents aren't going to get you another one. You have no money. You have to hope that some idiot goes for a bad trade. A Tetris. Man, you were so close to being in the right age for Pokemon. So just like if you were three years younger,

you would have been in the mix. Yeah, that's fucking stupid. Color hadn't happened yet. Oh, I remember feeling like a big boy showing up in school when I got the yellow Game Boy Color, but they didn't actually have color. It's just like the whole game was red. Yeah.

It was instead of black and white, the whole game was red or the whole game was blue they could have done color originally apparently but it would have taken twice as many batteries they could have done the OG Game Boy could have been color but it would have required 8 batteries instead of 4 which is like a no go and those batteries already sucked I remember being panicked in road trips

because I'd be in the back of the car and i'd be like looking at my game boy and they didn't have backlighting back in the day and so you had to like plug this thing onto the top of it like a reading light and when you had the reading light on there and by the way it's a dog shit light so it's like glaring off of the crappy screen at you it doesn't look good but you're like just trying to play and it'd be like oh i don't only have like two hours left of battery i could maybe get two and a half if i turn the light off and you're just trying to squint at it in the back of a dark car i just remember road trip i remember thinking my game boy was super lame when i saw the first sega handheld that to me was had that it was um you held it like this because it was like wide wider than it was

tall and um i guess you know you had controls on either side of your thumbs obviously but it had a big color screen it had a like a wide screen whereas the nintendo was like a tall screen kind of like a cell phone this was a wide screen with color and you could play sonic and it was like when i saw a kid playing fucking sonic in art class and i'm over there making a goddamn ashtray or whatever they are oh my god that exists how much are they they might have been 300 back then which would have been crazy um damn but i wanted one of those so bad no dad would not buy me video games no no they would not buy me stuff like that because it man i remember

something much cooler than that in my mind that is not what i'm picturing maybe the what it looked like after that i think it i i think the one i remember was well i definitely remember it being better than that maybe that was an earlier model. When was the last time you were that excited about getting something? Probably a game that was coming out. Sometimes when it's wipe day, if I've prepared for that, for rust or something, I can be pretty giddy about that. I know what kind of color. I got my coffee set up for the morning. I know what'm gonna be i got my i got my i got my special pajama pants i'm gonna

wear those when i game tomorrow like that might happen but um probably when i got toby i was pretty excited to get him the fucking dog that's a good one uh the the neighbor's kids are always leaning over the fence like can we pet him no he'll bite you he'll bite you no he looks nice and he's going i'm like no he's gonna bite you don't is he a biter he would really bite him i don't know oh you just don't want kids in your yard yeah i don't want children to climb over my goddamn fence into my yard. It's like, no, get out of here. What are you doing? You can't come play with my dog. I would

absolutely let kids play with my dog. I'm a grown-ass man. Hey, ma'am, your kids, they'll be with me. Don't worry. Don't worry. Meanwhile, I'm over there in my pajamas high. My dogs are old now, so you don't walk

dogs that old. The idea of kids exercising my dogs when they need it sounds cool. Kyle, you're like, I'm a felon, but the drug kind. The weed kind, not the real drug kind. Well, sometimes the real drug kind.

Hey, I don't judge. i don't judge yeah my fish tank is coming next week and i have been uh the last one was getting out of the fishing game did you on it last time we talked about it oh i think i complained about the algae but that we resolved it mostly i hope and uh so look i got this tank in february took us about a month to decide that we were kind of into this and we ordered the new tank this company says if you custom order it it's cheaper the warranty is longer but you have to wait four to six months i call him on the phone and i'm like hey four to six months is a long time is it really that long and he's like it can can be. But a lot of times it's only three.

What I heard is three. I heard three months you got this thing. Dude, you'll be fine. It was seven. We're in our seventh month now. And it comes next week. Yeah, dude. Seven months is such a fucking long time.

My current tank is 25 gallons but a little bit smaller because the back of it is filled with like filtration and pumps and shit like that the next one is not 25 gallons but it's 150 and there's okay there's a 60 gallon tank underneath it for filters and shit like that so all 150 is devoted to like fish and display and whatever and i can't wait it's 710 pounds i don't really have a plan for that i can't lift that i don't it's 710 pounds before you add in how many gallons of water 150 at eight pounds per gallon you're gonna want a little more salt water you add water so we're talking about i'm so glad you said that i don't it, now it's 4,100 pounds.

I know, Kyle. You got to put a jack under the joist. It's 2,500 pounds. It's really heavy. Yeah, yeah. It's like parking a car in there. But I can't wait to get it. I've been on edge.

I've checked the tracking number progress at least nine times today. And it hasn't changed. There's no updates at all it just it's left for departure so you're gonna have to hire movers or they bring they don't just send movers with it i feel like i don't know i want to say the actual glass tank right so the 710 probably includes like a pallet or two the um stand and things like that i want to say the tank tank itself is in the 400s and with that you're like oh maybe i get two friends you know like it's probably too much for just me and colin um it wouldn't be too much for like me and one of you

but so i need to figure it out let me me run this by you. Tangentially related. Would you have any interest in running a small fish farm, a fishery, if you will, because you can operate them in a greenhouse, basically, with that. And you go in there and there's like a water wheel that keeps everything going on this big circle. It's shaped like an L, a double L, obviously, because it's a square. But I've seen we had those at my school. Who wants to work on the fish farm? No one, you cocksucker. Give me my grade. But they had

them out there, and people would. I just had no interest in it. But I think we had catfish. And when they grew to the right eating size, fish fry. And we fry them all up, and we serve them with hush puppies and slaw and french fries, which cost nothing

by the way. They would make $10 a plate, and they would just have a line that went for miles. It was just so much money to be made by the school that went right back into all of our other programs. It was neat. I just thought, you're going bigger and

i feel like this this tank sounds like about as big as you'd want to go on an in the house tank but if you really want to you could go fishery very easily that could be cool yeah they do that with ornamental fish most of my fish are captive bred they're nice because they tend to be disease free they're accustomed to tank life they show up at your door already eating pellets as opposed to like wild caught bugs or something like that yeah and uh um and you know if you're into the environment and stuff i guess there's a little feel good that you didn't rob it from some coral reef it was bred for you and if tank so uh uh yeah but more interesting than that than a fish farm would be a coral farm.

We're literally like, so the thing about a coral, it's an animal, but pretend it's a plant for a second. You can just like break off a branch, stick it on a rock, and now you have two plants and then they grow. And, you know, you can just keep doing that. And there are really people make good money on coral farms. Like what are the requirements? You need a salt, salt water tank with the correct media. Yeah. And there's some economies of scale.

So there's benefits to being like, you know what? I'm going in this for like 70 grand to get started or something significant to a hundred grand, as opposed to just like doing it out of your own tank. Well, shit, you barely make enough money to cover your expenses,

but the economies of scale make it make sense to farm in a bigger way probably like a real farm yeah and uh um but i think i'm just gonna keep it at the hobby level sure why not yeah it won't be fun anymore once you feel like there are deadlines and things and you're like damn it i should have let my hobby stay a fun hobby instead of really because emailing someone about why their corals late because just now describing the catfish situation it's like huh that would be kind of fun because it's like it's basically a greenhouse with a gigantic tank and a few thousand fish in it and you just feed them and everything's automated it's on that would be fun because you can eat it like and that's like wait so much if everything comes crashing down and you got your own little fish hatchery.

Yeah, you're good. As long as you don't get sick of fish. I don't value the disaster recovery. I'm sorry, the disaster planning very much. I feel like a lot of times it's people cosplaying or wishing for apocalypses that aren't thriving in the actual environment we live in. Well, Wendigo's big into that. There's different flavors of those guys. I've seen guys

who think of it as cosplay for real. They're like, look, I know, but let me have my fucking bulletproof vest. Let me do my hobby. There's guys who are like, alright, if that's your attitude, Kyle, then when the big ball drops

best not see you around the perimeter that's all i'm saying it's like oh shit he means it for reals and you know there's everything in between there there and and i don't know what would happen that would throw us into that um that's so likely that we need to prepare for it. An EMP is the thing. It's like we're preparing. Well, those don't shut us down forever. Solar flare, whatever that thing is that fucks everything up for a long time. Even that, it messes up stuff that's here right now.

If anything, the economy improves because of all the shit that needs to be made. Like when the forest burns down and it comes back so green and perfect. Yeah, or like when a war happens and everybody's got to go build a bunch of shit and now we've got shit and you know disasters can be good for the for for good economic events um i don't think anything's shutting us down so that we need to have a bunker with guns and food and shit like that i really don't the odds of that are just super super low the variety of guy that i fuss at in particular is the one who's not doing that well has no college account for his

kids or whatever but he has tens of thousands if not a hundred thousand in his bunker and backup food and his armaments and stuff like that and it's like oh you should have gone to college instead you put you put enough money into dehydrated food to fund an education that could have actually like paid dividends in your life yeah it's like you you won't like give your daughter your old civic to teach her responsibility but you have 30 cows in a residential area like that you're bothering everyone with like that that would be i can see that that's just shitty yeah actually having 30 cows would be hilarious and that wouldn't bother me i'd be like i know those cows let me pet them yeah i can't deal cows a few cows don't bother anything it's when you got a dairy

operation where where your feet are a feedlot where they're not eating the grass anywhere because there is no grass they're just standing in muck and mud and you're feeding them grain and they're just shitting there all day that's a dread those those pig kfos i think they're called right i don't know what a kfos is kfo c-a-f-o isn't't it an acronym for those disgusting pig and cow farms? The phrase hog parlor comes to mind. I think that's the color.

I was trying to Google hog parlor because that's in my brain. It exists in there. Concentrated animal feeding operations. That's what it is. Oh, okay. That's the last stage before slaughter. That's they they brought those animals there from they've been purchased from anywhere and everywhere or bread or whatever and now they're getting fattened up for the slaughter oh and you know why i knew that uh i thought many years ago i probably mentioned

this on the show one of my first classes i took in college was food science in like my freshman year it was like some like bullshit like class that fulfilled the requirement sponsored by monsanto yeah literally yes and this guy because monsanto is a missouri like tier so it was and this this teacher always wore a bolo tie. He was very friendly, very fun and nice. And me and the other buddies I'd made in my dorm chose this class when we were doing our little schedules early on because it was basically like, hey, Taylor, let's take a class together. We're all going to do this. Food science. How hard could that be? That sounds ridiculous. Let's all do food science and it fulfills whatever this is. And so we all selected food science. Yes, it did. And we went in and I remember the first day he was like being all friendly and big lecture hall. So there's like probably five, 600 people in the class and he's up there talking and he's like giving us an example. He's like, so an example of something that might be on a test would be like, which of the following is a fruit? Like something like that was an example he gave, but he didn't really give it in that much of a jokey way. And so then me and a bunch of my buddies were like, fuck this.

Like, I'm not going to go to this very often. Like, why would I bother? And so I, I more than my buddies, like actually would i bother and so i i more than my buddies like actually would still go and pop into the class and the first test like i remember studying for all i did was read through all the chapters we had and was like all right well what's he gonna fucking ask me like what's gonna be that hard and we get in there and like i've never seen so many people also looking up from their test like making eye contact with other students with like panic. Because like question one was like, which subset of bovine hemoglobin is found in blank or something?

Or what is the mechanism by which musculature is reinforced in this type of ant like that kind of shit and like i think i got like a 61 on the test which was actually higher than the average i think the average in the class was like a 40 or something like that like not even a low f like a high uh he curved it and but he like he had some i think he had like some internal limit on the curve and so like i only got boosted up to like a b minus even though like it wasn't that bad or it was that bad and that was just like it set me up to think that every class my first couple years of college was going to be like that and it was i was going to be bamboozled and so if anything like it made me much better

going forward because i i got pretty good grades overall but that was a i remember like that was the first college test that i took and my head was like you're too dumb for this like you you didn't study you're not you're too dumb really but in that moment i'm like you fucking retard you moron you idiot you don't know this everybody else does the same lesson and and i have a takeaway i don't know if it'll help you see things are different now you go on the internet and find out if the teacher is good if the course is hard etc back in the day this advice would have helped how hard a course is isn't based on how hard you think it is or how stupid the subject is it's based on how much you knew before the course started. If you take

American history, you can probably get a C without trying, right? And if you try, you get an A or B. Those are the range. Because you've learned American history every year since fifth grade or five years old, maybe, and you're fine. I took music appreciation and I thought, what could be easier than music appreciation? I just have to convince this teacher that I appreciate music. I'm going to kill this. Then we start like he put some dots on the chalkboard and he's like, what song is this? And in my heart, I'm like, what?

That's not even music. That's writing. That's it. And what you might think I'm talking about about like we all know that is the scale you know where you there's the horizontal lines but no no there were no horizontal lines or it was some different notation that i don't understand then someone else from class is like that looks like the uh national anthem he's like i can tell because it goes up and down so much and that song is known for that and i was like like oh my god you're like one of him

and i'm not either of those i got fucked i i like you had the you could hear music and ask what time period it was from like if i played some old song and said like is this medieval or baroque most people would be like i don't know i don't know so i got fucked in that course i had to try really hard i think i got a c or something i didn't get good grades that sucks the difficulty of a course is based on how much you know before it started not how hard the course is and it can depend especially in college on like whether you have a shithead professor who really wants to believe their job is more important than it is. I remember there was this lady

who ended up getting fired. It's a university. She probably didn't get fired. She probably got put in a cushy administrative position. She used to teach macroeconomics. I'm no genius, but it wasn't like hard material it was hard because she was korean and she you could not understand not like not even doing my kind of joke like literally

like she you could not understand what she was saying like i remember being in the class and being like today's the day you you learn and like trying trying to focus on it and like by the time i had parsed what she said in the sentence through context clues from subsequent sentences i was now two paragraphs back and what she was saying and it wasn't just me everyone in the class felt this way because all the grades were terrible i took that class with her i took macro econ with her my freshman year. And I think I probably got like a low A after I learned like, oh, I just have to teach myself macro economics from the book. And then senior year, I had that same Korean lady teaching me

and it was me and I was just doing it as like a fulfillment of something. And I was like the only senior in the class. Everybody else was a freshman and i remembered like looking around at people and being like you guys have no idea how terrible of a teacher this korean lady is and how hard these tests are and i i ruined the curve for that class i really ruined it yeah because i didn't go to the class at all because at that point i realized like once i showed up the first time it was like uh she said in broken english that we weren't going to be taking attendance. But it's up to you to be ready for the test.

And so I just left because I'm like, I just I have to teach myself this anyway, because she is unintelligible in her speech. And I would go in like just from teaching myself. And this is not it's not because I'm smart. It's because it was easy material and like get a ninety five on the test. Ninety six on the test. And everybody else was getting like 65, like 64, 70 at the highest. They're wasting their time.

Wasting their time listening to this Korean woman garble up there, not making any sense, or probably making plenty of sense, but you can't understand what she's saying. There was so much time in class that was fucking useless. My economics professor, I thought he was pretty good, but his grading was way too hard. He had this thing, like a predefined number of A's, B's and C's, D's and F's that he wanted to give out. And then the class just fit into that curve.

Yeah. So he's like, A should be rare. Like two of you will get them. I got one. And I wasn't even a good student. I just really was invested and I wanted to be good at this topic. He's boring. Like, it doesn't matter what you do.

There's only one gold medal here. Yeah, yeah. That's not far from that. So he was bad. At Drexel, though, we had a similar situation to you with teachers that didn't speak the language very well. very well and early in my time at drexel they added the communication skills to the teacher reviews and just wholesale fired all of these teachers yeah they actually had really good credentials like their academic credit they were good at passing the tests but they weren't good at teaching and i think drexel was right look communication skills are important for a teacher

you have to measure that it can't just be the papers they wrote and the degrees they have yeah of course not they have to teach your understanding of the i don't care if you fail if you can't take the test because you're dyslexic for example if you're a good teacher who cares if you can take the goddamn test it's about teaching and so was drexel so i heard it and i was like i get this thumbs up i like their fucking sergeant matumbo up there teaching me economics and I'm over there just squinting at him the whole time like, what the fuck is he talking about? Dude, I would have killed for a Mutombo

over this Korean lady who sounded like she had just gotten every single class. It seemed like someone had, she had just arrived in the United States for the first time and everyone and they had like black bagged her put her in a van from the airport and then like pulled the bag off in front of us and was like teach econ like that's what it felt like oh no there was no

ability to under like and when you went to the econ building it was all koreans and so like they didn't i don't they were like speaking in korean to each other like this is the professors the teachers yeah and like a lot of the tas were korean and so it was like this is you guys are setting up a lot of blocks like a lot of blockades here that are making probably most of the students in missouri were korean no oh just ones of percent no not even that. Not even that. I remember when I met my first Asian person. He was a Korean.

It was when a Korean family moved to our corner of Georgia. It was high school. That was the first Asian I'd ever met. You'd never met an Asian until high school? No, where would I meet him? I don't know. I guess there was an Asian guy in my school I knew from a much younger age. In New Jersey, we had everything like oh yeah yeah a huge percentage of like italians irish jewish asian black i don't know what any

of those things look like except for movies and like my experiences later in life like i had no concept of what a jew was i had no concept of what no i really didn't not not truly like i knew about the holocaust we had a whole book in it and on the shelf called like and god cried and it's this You had no concept of what a Jew was? No, I really didn't. Not truly. Like, I knew about the Holocaust. We had a whole book on the shelf called, like, And God Cried. And it's this fucking whole horrific read about the Holocaust with pictures. You know, the piles of bodies in there and shit. And, you know, I knew Jesus. My grandmother had the little magnet on her refrigerator.

My savior is a Jewish carpenter. Something like that. I knew that Jesus was a Jew. But I didn't know what a Jew was. Like, something like that i knew that jesus was a jew but i didn't know what a jew was like like like i didn't know jerry seinfeld was a jew i had no fucking idea i had no my next door neighbor was jewish and uh it made me like at first i was like hanukkah sounds better than christmas i mean you guys have like eight days of gift giving this is the bomb and then he's like no no it's day three i got this and it looked like something that you'd put 25 cents in and get the toy out and the little capsule and the bubblegum

machine like that was your fucking present for day three of hanukkah never mind yeah keep that bullshit never mind this is a trash holiday i don't want it i'm glad that we have the good one they're like hanukkah is actually nothing. We just celebrate it because Christians have Christmas. Yeah. Which makes sense. Everybody else is celebrating. You want to do your own thing. What makes sense is that they've had a holiday that they've kept traditional for probably 5,000 years.

And we have this bastardized, corporatized slurry of traditions mashed together. Right? We're still figuring out what christmas is i think christmas was probably christmas was probably much better defined prior to like the early 1900s when it was less about gift giving like it was an adult these holidays are not about gift giving anymore the purpose of holidays is to have a cheat day. That's it. I want pie.

I want turkey. That's what Christmas is for. You eat turkey all the time. Not like I want it. Not deep fried turkey. I don't put salt on things because I'm always like, if I don't have high blood pressure, I'm bumping up against it. I have to work all the time to have my blood pressure in the healthy range.

But I don't work on Krispy Kreme. Do you take any blood pressure medications? No. I mean, shit. You could have turkey. You could have all sorts of things with a little pill. To me, it's a slippery slope. You do it with diet, you get other benefits along the way

but if you do it with a pill then i i'm out of my depth i don't know what i'm talking about don't half of them fuck with your dick that's very important to me yeah you take cialis constantly like like i mean so then you just let those pills battle right that's what happens yeah yeah they battle it out in there and the cialis always wins huh i this just isn't the route i want to take i don't know would you do it i'm actually seriously kyle if you had high blood pressure chronically yeah would you take a high blood pressure pill like couple it with the cialis and like just live that life yeah why not um cialis is already good for your blood pressure. It's the reason that

I take the blue cheese regularly. I just use it as my prescribed blood pressure medicine. But yeah, I mean, when I'm going hard, when I was eating two pounds of beef a day, there's no way to salt two pounds of beef let alone the veggies and everything else and rice that goes with it appropriately and not have high blood pressure while you're on steroids like it's you're just gonna get up there so i there was a point where i was barely using any salt and i was using all those salt substitutes it sucks it fucking sucks so yeah not nearly as good as no no i mean your taste is subjective like you know as you know like to some people that tastes like nothing to other people that

tastes like soap or whatever yeah those salt substitutes to me are so much worse than no salt they're just atrocious to me i hate them i like them oh i wish i did for rice like i do lemon juice instead of salt and then that like lemon or lime or something like that do like a fiesta thing and some cilantro to like put flavor in there but two you cannot eat two pounds of fucking beef without some salt it's just are you putting like that uh that like half potassium salt half regular shit on there yeah like you know and and the way that i do those big meals is i'm not going to have like okay my side is here and my my my entree is here and like i'm not going to dress a plate everything's going to end up in a

bowl that i'm going to eat you know with a the biggest spoon i own over the sink like these aren't this these aren't sit down and enjoy yeah because i'm eating you don't eat two pounds at a time right you got to eat five or six or eight meals a day to get two pounds of meat in you and not vomit at least if you got like a normal human stomach i i see that i think that's the hardest part of those of that bodybuilding lifestyle and i think i've seen like pro bodybuilders talk about that it's just getting I think that's the hardest part of that bodybuilding lifestyle. And I've seen pro bodybuilders talk about that. It's just getting that food in you. There's the one guy, have you seen, who does the chicken shakes?

Oh, he's blending chicken? He purees chicken breast and he drinks it. And when you see him do it you're disgusted of course but you also realize my god you just got a lot of chicken down fast that does work because he i don't remember how big the shake was but dude it was not one chicken breast it was more like eight and it was like it was so much liquid and he's just like glug glug glug glug glug just put that's like a fear factor kind of challenge. That sounds disgusting. I was drinking eggs at one point because I was so disgusted.

Oh, that's not that's not bad. Like I was so disgusted by the scrambled eggs because I was eating them in so much quantity that like the texture of them when like the fork would go into him was like gross to me. And like if I burped in it and it like tasted like egg i'd almost vomit up my whole breakfast and i was like fuck this we're not eating cooked eggs anymore and i would just start i started drinking the eggs and that was so much better to drink them really of fear factor challenges style stuff like what do you think you would do like could i anytime i see a show like that and i see people having to eat bugs, I have a bad gag reflex. Yeah, I can't do that.

I know that once I have the bugs in my mouth, even if it doesn't taste that bad, I'm going to be like, these are bugs. There are bug guts all over your mouth. And I'm going to gag. And then the gag is going to make me gag more. So I could do it if they gave me anything i wanted as a chaser because i think if your chaser if your chaser was something like water's no good because then i keep all the texture of the bug but if i had something that was like a like a slushy or a frozen drink of some kind that has like it's like thick and that can kind of mask all the mush that i'm eating but no i i know for a fact that i would

bitch out pussy out whatever you want to say vomit out i can't eat cockroaches i can't eat maggots uh i'll say this i made a pot roast the other day and i forgot to like clean out the slow cooker and like five days went by and i walked past it and i was like oh god no because like it all like came together and like i knew what had and i couldn't deal with it i just threw the whole thing away i don't know but but you know the inside part it's over a hundred dollars right no no they're not much no i could probably get the new a new walmart get one for like 30 bucks yeah but i was i can't deal with that i took a trash bag and i put it over it and then i picked the whole thing up and i sat it down at the bottom of my dumpster and i closed it and walked away

because i was like i don't want to throw up over the slow cooker i gotta i have two slow cookers well i did now you have one so now you you also wouldn't do well with eating challenges i i can't do it just every time i see like on survivor or something or i mean eating challenges are in fucking every reality show i'm like damn like i think this is where i would get eliminated again i'd be embarrassed too because everybody next to me would be at least getting like a couple scorpions down and i'd be still like the first scorpion i've seen a guy on tiktok and he runs it i guess it's popular enough that people will approach him on the street and they know him and And I'd be still like the first scorpion. I've seen a guy on TikTok and he runs it. I guess it's popular enough that people will approach him on the street and they know him

and they know the game. Like, so he just does bug eating for money on the streets. And it is Chinese. I don't remember, but it's in America. Like he's not eating the bugs. You are like you're approaching. All right. You want five dollars?

I got a cockroach. I got a worm right here. You eat the worm. All right. They eat the worm. You are. You're approaching like, all right, you want $5? I got a cockroach. I got a worm right here. You eat the worm. All right, they eat the worm. Here's your $5. Now, do you want to push that $5? Make it $20 for a cockroach? And it's like, no.

What are you doing? Yeah, yeah, I do. And they're eating the cockroach. How'd you get in my house? He's playing it like a street game out there. So there's no way that I can go on Fear Factor. Even for $50,000, I can't eat those cave spiders. That's the worst bug I ever saw, by the way.

Do you remember the cave spiders? Zach, show me cave spiders from Fear Factor. The problem is the volume. If they were like, what do you eat a cockroach? I could muscle through it. I could get it done. Even if it was alive, I can kill it with my mouth and get it down. I think I'm done.

But oftentimes it'd be like drink this half gallon jar of bull semen. Yeah. And it's like I can lick it. But to guzzle that much is a lot. That's right. They ate these. They ate multiple of these. And it was I can't remember if it was a man or a woman, but they were bleeding.

Their mouth was bleeding. And they're alive while they're eating them yeah they're alive yeah you have to reach in and grab them and again like like that i don't know something happened and the person's lips were bleeding from the the spot something fucking happened look at this thing every bit of this says don't eat me it's uh it's hard for me to look at frankly and when you they're very big like don't imagine that this thing is the size of your pinky nail it's a big spider that's probably a couple inches across and they they're munching them down multiple of them on fear factor that was the worst bug eating thing i ever saw on there obviously drinking the horse cum and the horse piss was the worst like challenge of anything

going in you because that's just the piss is not as bad i i would i would way rather drink piss than cum from a hot cum from a horse cock yeah i would prefer the piss over the spider even but the cum like temperature do you want your cum taylor i mean i don't want it to be like a softy or smoothie maybe it is better fresh i don't know like you don't want to have to chew you know when you eat a little pudding and you give it a little chew just to kind of yeah it's like in it's like in the fucking jackass where chris ponnius is like about to drink it and he's like this gets me out of something i don't want to do right this gets me out of it. Okay. Yeah.

And he drank that. But that girl on Fear Factor, it was like two sexy twins or something. The cast on that show was great. They're like, all right. And they were... Memory's weird. I remember beer steins. I remember them having beer steins of piss.

I don't remember what the cum was in. But I remember them drinking like a pint of piss. At least a pint of piss. I don't remember what the cum was in, but I remember them drinking a pint of piss. At least a pint of piss. It was so much piss. The volume is a joke. You ever pee on a lady, Taylor? No. I would if it was requested. It doesn't do it for me. Nicely done, Zach. That's impressive.

Can I see that again? I need to see that again. I didn't get a good enough look. Let's see. Let's pull that up again and see. Those young ladies imbibing a bit of, yeah. I wonder how they chose which one was going to get the piss. Look how tall that glass of cum is.

That's so much cum. Dude, the piss girl has to feel like she... That dude was on lock and load. She has to feel like she made out like a bandit. The piss girl. Logan. Logan on the left. He's just like... I got the donkey there.

The donkey's right there. Was it hot off the tap uh definitely not i i love that they picked this was the twins episode clearly uh man uh wild ass show i think they tried to bring it back a couple years ago and and it didn't work out or something if rogan came back and did the show obviously wouldn't but man that'd be cool right like i would watch would it cost that would be cool and do it would he do it for a million dollars an episode his own thing yeah he should produce it himself that way he's comfortable because i remember him being upset with the course come he was like you can't do this don't do that to him and also the bull riding those were the two things that he he was like come on you can't put these people on

bulls they're like oh don't worry it's a it's a stunt bull and they're like does he know that he's just the bull yeah the bull doesn't know it's a stunt bull it's still a bull like it'll fuck you up he doesn't know he's got like fucking paperwork like he's i like it remember that guy who was violent there was one guy he had curly blonde hair the real violent one yeah I don't know this guy

if I recall correctly it was maybe a couples episode and his wife was kind of aggressive towards another couple and then dude the wife started the fight dude kind of continued it from there and joe steps in and he's not like de-escalating too much he's like hey you need to stop you can't do this you can't put your hands on anybody and uh he's like just because you put your hands on

your wife doesn't mean you can put it on these other people over here and it was like a dig like you're beating your wife i i don't remember it as beating but the two of them were like passion she was they were they punched each other like in the arm hard like they would rough each other up and the wife had hit an opponent like punched him in the body hard because he was really good at manipulating and teasing her and they were cold and he's like the fuck you hit me and rogan was not having it it was yeah and rogan eventually put the guy in a standing guillotine choke if i recall correctly in his like efforts to sort of take control of the situation it was lopsided joe was not much taller but he was way stronger and obviously decade of training yeah joe's like uh five probably five

five maybe but he's 200 pounds he's over 200 pounds five five i thought he was taller than that i think it says five eight on the internet and people like standing next to other people that are five eight and he's a good bit shorter so hard to say i would say that with shoes on he's probably five six five seven he's he's a real short shoes on, he's probably 5'6", 5'7". He's a real short guy, but he's like 200 fucking pounds. He really is as close to a dwarf as like a

not a little person, but a dwarf from lore. He's built for mining. Built for underground labor. He's very dangerous in. Built for underground labor. He's very dangerous in short distances. He is.

I wouldn't fuck with Joe Rogan over short or long distances. That guy, all I know about him is it seems like he podcasts and then does hill sprints and wrestles with people. Have you seen his jiu-jitsu coach, his hand? Do you know about this? Eddie Bravo's hand? Uh-uh, it's a different guy so so uh rogan's jits coach has this genetic uh deformity in one of his hands where he doesn't have any fingers just a thumb but he's able to like sneak it in under your chin so well that

you can't stop it so it's like it's really an advantage when we're in jiu-jitsu because he just sneaks it in there and you can't keep it out because he doesn't have any fucking fingers and they showed a picture of and sure enough it's like these little nub fingers down here and then just a thumb oh yeah look at that thing looks like he's got a little pinky over there as well maybe something on the other side It's just a little protrusion He should get that ground off So he can't even punch Or maybe his punches

You don't want him to hit you with that thing You don't need a hand at all to punch Taylor You can do it with a wrist I guess that's true And it's a smaller point of contact More pressure Damn Yeah I wouldn't want to roll with Joe

Actually I bet he wouldn't be yeah exactly i bet i bet joe rogan is capable of rolling politely they're not like jocko fucking is he known for rolling he broke a guy's windpipe oh yeah yeah what a guy was like here's the situation if i roll with jaco i expect him to care for me in the same way that if i rolled with a nine-year-old it would be my responsibility to make sure that no one leaves this wounded right yeah i might win but i'm not gonna hurt the kid i'm the kid with jaco but jaco doesn't feel like that jaco is like you're just a piece of meat that he's there to fuck up and get better at fucking things up and yeah broke a guy's trachea or something it was it was bad that is and when jaco retold the story

there wasn't any like regret or empathy in it it was just like you know it's dangerous to roll with people he should have known and even joe rogan, it's dangerous to roll with people. He should have known. And even Joe Rogan was like, yeah, don't roll with Jocko. That's a mistake. Yeah. Fucked up.

It doesn't come off as like a, oh, don't roll with that guy. He's like, Ruth, he's dangerous. He's so good. It comes off as like, like what you'd say about a stupid person. Like, don't roll with that guy.

He's beyond dumb he doesn't know what he's doing it's like it's literally like if i'm like hey kyle you want to come and do a learn to skate with me here's a stick here's a little stick and puck i can teach you how to pass teach you how to skate and then i just like kyle's facing the board kyle's standing four feet from the boards the most dangerous place. He, he doesn't know how dangerous it is to stand there. Cause he's been on the ice for three seconds. And then I hit him from behind to be like, welcome to hockey.

And he loses all his teeth. Cause he hits his face right on that corner. Like if in that case, you wouldn't go like, Oh yeah, dude, don't go to stick and puck with Taylor. He's so good.

Don't go with Taylor. He's so good. Don't go with Taylor. He's a cruel piece of shit who gets off on hurting people. Oh, perfect phrasing. I love that. That was my takeaway from Jocko. And if he was like, look, I've rolled with people. I don't think I've ever hurt anyone, but people get hurt. And if that happens, like, yeah, this one got away from me.

I was going for this but it turned into that um but he was just like yeah he messed with the bully get the horns and that solidified what he's kind of a piece of shit on the mat john jones wouldn't do that i would yeah i bet john jones wouldn't if if i was rolling with john jones and i was like mr jones i'm brand new will you teach me the ropes? I doubt he breaks my fingers and stuff. First of all, he quickly code switched to his white people voice. And he put his collar down and buttoned up one button,

and you guys would have a great time together. You could play a little golf. What? MMA. Magic. What current UFC fighters do you think would hurt you if you were to do a fun role oh well definitely diego the nightmare sanchez because i called him a homosexual

okay and a lot of times yeah yeah what you guys were you know you do what you do and you send him the clip of me calling him homosexual and he didn't care he didn't like it a bit that's the only thing i know about diego sanchez is that he's that gay guy k He didn't like it a bit. That's the only thing I know about Diego Sanchez is that he's that gay guy. He doesn't like me. Yeah. I know a little better than you guys. I know that his asshole's not that tight anymore. Yeah. Yeah. That Fabio guy.

Fabio. That one for sure. Because he's also CTE case and unstable-ish. Although I think he's doing better these days. Man, Mike Perry seems like a guy that I'm just... You know, I don't know that he's... I'm just thinking Mike Perry is one of the most violent men in the world right now.

He's the bare-knuckle fucking guy. It's fun to watch him roll. I've watched a couple of his fights recently. You know he knocked Luke Rockhold's teeth out? did he no in his last fight luke quit all right so here's the thing about bare knuckle fighting taylor some people from various other sports like the ufc have jumped over there because it's more their jam because they're they got more dog in them or maybe they got their more hands than kickboxer whatever mike perry is that guy who i think he found out he's like two percent black so now he uses the n-bomb freely he's also he's also not a joke he's also the guy there's a great clip of him and he's he's gotten in a

disturbance at a restaurant and he is leaving but what he's saying and he's being loud about it is i'm not leaving the parking lot i'm if you called the cops then i'm not going anywhere because we'll get here you'll lie on me and that'll be the record i'm staying and this guy kind of gets in his face and starts mocking him and like because because mike is being loud and boisterous and the guy kind of matches sort of his tone or whatever he mocks him to his face a chubby older man and mike is like i'll knock you the fuck out old man and the guy like maybe does something like this into mike's face aggressively and mike perry like as fast as bruce lee ever did he's like and knocks him the fuck out and then they're like

leave leave and he's like i told you i'm not leaving now i'm staying till the cops get here ninja you fucked with me now he's laid out and he sits on the bench right there and works on the you. I'm not leaving now. I'm staying till the cops get here, ninja. That ninja fucked with me. Now he's laid out. And he sits on the bench right there and works on the cops. Mike Perry has figured Bare Knuckle out. He's got his own... I feel real stiff with his hands. Just keeps them close and stiff. And he can...

The knuckles are hitting your mouth guard because there's no glove. And he knocked Luke Rockhold's fucking teeth out. And Luke Rockhold said, I'm quiving. He knocked my fucking teeth out. And that was it. That's Luke Rockhold. It's like a Renaissance painting.

There he is losing his teeth. Most people would agree. I bet if you asked who the most handsome man to ever participate in MMA is, Luke Rockhold lands on top. The dude is a model. He's literally a model. He had a modeling career. GSP's a good looking man. If I had to pick a boyfriend between GSP

and Luke Rockhold, I think I'd go GSP. That voice is sexy. But I agree with you. Luke Rockhold's a top three handsome fellow in the UFC. For him to lose teeth feels extra tragic. I'll just put some better ones in there. Fuck that guy. No, Mike Perry's a scary man. Yes.

Are you watching bare-knuckle boxing fights now? I don't like the cuts. Highlights. I don't like the cuts, so I'll go back and kind of like, I don't know, I'll try to keep up with it a little bit. Because, I don't know, like the records and stuff, but I really don't like watching the fights too much. I've watched maybe three or four total. I don't like the cuts. I don't want to watch someone get brutalized.

I don't like seeing your face get cut. I'm on a different team than both of you. I enjoy watching facial cuts. I enjoy watching people get brutalized. If I hear there's a particularly fun to watch match, I'll watch it. I don't like the pay-per-views or anything.

No. The huge fight for me that's coming up, and I think the UFC and Dana White and his team of matchmakers, sometimes it's awful, I'll admit. And sometimes it's clearly they're trying to hurt this guy. They're punishing this guy. They've got a fight come up.

They've matched Tony Ferguson, who used to be an all-time great. Now he's lost six straight. Five of those, every one of those is a top ten guy, every one of those losses. Almost all of them, except for Bobby Green, is a top five guy. So it's kind of hard to evaluate his skills overall and just how much he's diminished,

although he's not the Tony of old by any means. Up against Patty Pimplet, Patty the Batty Pimplet, who's on a six-fight win streak of nobody. Against a six-fight lose streak. Against a six Ls, six Ws, fighting each other soon. Maybe December, maybe sooner. Can't remember exactly. And it's like, what's going to happen?

I don't know. It's a fun fight. One guy just beat six cans of tomato in a row and the other guy lost to six champions yeah i don't know who's bitter put some money on it tony i think tony uh my money's on tony uh i would have i'm going to bet on tony i'll bet now if you want to take patty the baddie who is also patty's 27 tony's 37 i might be a year or two off but more or less that's the deal is he 39 tony ferguson that would be that's a big gap in it's 10 years but during that 10 years he was learning how to hurt people in an octagon so you might want to take that into account uh most of

that time he was doing the hurting it's only the only the last two years, two and a half years, that he's been the one on the real receiving side. I got to bet on Tony Ferguson. When's the fight? I don't know exactly. It's this year, which isn't too specific, but it's almost October, so in the next month or two. He'll be 40 early next year, so there's a chance. Yeah, I think Tony's going to smoke him and he'll get his win and hopefully he retires. Please don't retire. I'm like the most ageist guy on this podcast somehow,

but I think Father Time has defeated Tony and he has no more wins left in his life. It's just who the... I just think he's a world-class guy still who's only lost to champs and Patty is none of those things. And Patty is still green

um although if you look at it like x's and o's tony doesn't really hit hard and you really gotta it seems like you gotta take patty out like knock him out and and he's he can eat a shot patty can because they we've seen that for sure so i can't wait for the fight i like that's one of those fights that's probably i don't know where it is on the card. It's probably not co-main. Who knows? I don't know where it is on the chain, but I'm excited for it. I really want to see it. There's a lot of good fights coming up. It's interesting. Zach said, is this the fight that blows Patty up into a star? This is something that they do in fighting. They take an aged champ who everybody knows, and they put him up against your up-and-comer,

and if the up-and-comer beats him, then he gets the aged guy's shine. They're trying to give Tony shine to Patty. We'll see. It works if you beat him. Yeah, and like I said, the 6Ls and the 6Ws come against each other. It's just a cool storyline. It's a really cool storyline, and I like seeing those fights. And afterwards, we'll be like, ah, well, clearly that's what was going to happen. But right now, I like seeing those fights and afterwards we'll be like,

ah, well, clearly that's what was going to happen. But right now it just seems so up in the air. I have no idea how that fight's going to go. Before we jump to the next thing, we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful, wonderful sponsors.

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he doesn't have that he doesn't have that. He doesn't have that. I'm glad Taylor didn't recognize me from that gif. No, I got yours too. He's a giant. He's a giant! He's a giant! I thought this guy looked

quite a bit like me. That guy looks a lot like you. Yes. That's your a lot like you. Yes. That's your doppelganger. He sounds like me a little. But see, he's got a black friend. That's how you know. See, it's the answer to making content.

See, the comet. It's the comet. It's Christ. And they're like, yeah, they just did the 666th episode that's damn absurd that guy looks so much like it's nice for you yeah to look like someone who's not ugly every time someone links me someone that looks like me it's some just boorish idiot some some ugly fat-headed retard and they're like you look like a spitting image of this guy. And it's like a homeless guy who's fat. So that's not good.

That's just people not being very kind. That's what that is. Yeah, it happens to me. Not anymore. I don't really read content about me. But they'd be like, this guy at the gas station looks just like Woody. He's 65 pounds overweight. He's wearing this shirt.

He's testing the tensile strength of his buttons and mandles. And I'm like, he does. That's how you see me. He's wearing like this shirt he's testing the tensile strength of his buttons and mandals and i'm like he does that's how he's wearing shorts white man shorts buddy dude this thing in my house called huck finning jackie downstairs and i guess she wanted to give herself some sort of pedicure i don't know but it led to her spilling too much water in the living room. It's like she's picking up electronics. It's trying to get under the entertainment center. And she has the Bissell out to collect all the soapy water or something. And she's just making it look like fun.

Like, look at it go. See the water coming in? Yeah, yeah. It's a vacuum. It still sounds like what Snoop Dogg would call a pussy or something. Oh, no, no. It's a vacuum, but it can shoot soap into the carpet, and

then it pulls that soap back out. You have dogs. You might like it. I have a similar thingy. Okay, yeah. So she's using the Bissell, though, to just collect the soapy water that's spilled on the ground, and she convinces Colin that it's fun and just totally fucking Tom Sawyer to him or huck finned him you know he's like can i do it can i do it she's like i don't know this is a good time let me try i don't remember the book i think it's

tom sawyer's the one who convinced the other kids that it was so fun so we could run off with huck finn yeah huck finn's like huck finn was the bad influence nobody yeah yeah he's not doing anybody's chores he was the cool kid um and then there's tom what was tom's first name what was tom's first name no tom's is definitely a second name oh no i think you're thinking of Jim. Oh, is that who it was? It was Jim. That's right.

Yes, you're thinking of Jim and his first name. When they got that word out of that book, it was like 30 pages shorter. Oh, man. That was an old trick they did to hit publishing limits in the 1800 1800s just throw a bunch of ends

in there see but you guys none of us should be uh offended if somebody's like oh this is your look-alike because we've seen them play code names we've seen how their word association alone is and it's like i'm not offended anymore if you think I look like that mailman, because my goodness, that I didn't know how to connect ocean and breeze, dude, I was so happy with skinnies and how that game was going until your guy just threw the game. And, and, and that just made that, that, that was such a, it didn't feel good to win. So was he doing? We had been playing... We played Codenames

in our most recent Hangout. It was his first time as the Clue Master. Taylor's so nice to him. I was the opposite. I was teasing, but I teased him all night. Yeah, you were awful to him. I don't see it that way. He cried.

No. He's 14. I mean, he'll be 14 soon. No, he won't. Not after what you said. He's done. Yeah, what was it? Yeah, it's a mean fuck.

I'll tell you what it was. Here were the words on the floor. Fever and potato. For the win, he has to connect the word potato and fever and of course it's hot you say hot because that's hot potato and fevers make you know it's when you're hot it's clear and that's the win but he said burning earning burning why are they gonna think that burning has anything to do with potato when moses is on the board so he thinks burning burning bush and that that throws the whole game that that right after he dude does that i went like it's game over it's like what the fuck yeah that's real upsetting

burning all game long we're like ones and twos so if people don't know one couldn't be easier anyone can do a one it. It's a nothing thing. Two, that's like a minimum. You typically get two every turn, unless you have such a huge lead you want to play it safe. And threes are good. Fours are rare. This guy did all ones and twos.

It was his first time. Well, no mercy. That's what we always say, so we banned him. I don't know about that kind of shit. It was fun, though. But yeah, if you want to... It's always fun. If you hop in the $50 Patreon Discord,

we have some very intense Codenames games. If I could ever get Chiz to come out of retirement, I would have my partner. And then we could play for monies. Then we could get a whole fucking bracket going. We get a bracket going. Everybody throws in small amounts of monies.

And then it could be very fun. It could be very fun. We could stream it either. Yeah, that would be fun. It's a frustrating game in that the it's truly random and so there are times where like you're the clue giver and you look at the other clue givers words and you're like oh no they have all four animals or they have all four locations well we are probably fucked because they're gonna kick off with animal four and it'll be like, oh, OK, so we got the easy board.

And that's that's frustrating. That's pretty extreme. Yeah, you can get fucked. I went up against Taylor. We were both the code givers. Yeah. And I was like, so Taylor's a smart guy. But in the world of language arts, he's particularly one percent.

I was like, oh, no no i'm so fucked but i absolutely wiped the floor with him that's how i remember it because i think it was i think it was oh to one by the end but yeah i didn't didn't win that one it matters so much and it and the board yeah of course but when you've given a clue and you're listening to them talk through it and they're going the wrong way, it's so upsetting. It's like, no, I almost had a guy. I almost had a conniption playing. I think Fish was one of my team guessers.

And I gave the clue anachronistic for four because I had four words that were all, you know, kind of old timey. And there was no other word that I could use to specify that without leading them the wrong direction and like immediately like all three of my clue guessers are like anaconda sack and i was like no no and then it's like you're not you're not supposed to go when i said all suddenly knew what it meant. I had to get foam and day, and I puzzled over that until I finally just went with iridescent, and two or three of them didn't know

what iridescent meant, and it was like, fuck! And then somebody probably Googled because they gave a very good definition for what iridescent was. I couldn't have done it better very good definition for what iridescent was. I couldn't have done it better and I know what iridescent means.

I would like to play a more structured, team-based version of that. It's my favorite game right now other than Baldur's Gate which I try not to talk about but I'm continually obsessed with. I love that fucking game. Are you on your next character now or are you on a third? I'm on obsessed with. I love that fucking game. Are you on your next character now?

Or are you on a third? I'm on my second playthrough. So second, I guess is the answer. But just going really slow. There's just, it's a really dense game. A lot of fun. Really like it. I try not to talk about politics.

There's a statement linked to that. But John Fetterman lost the battle and he will be required to wear a suit on the Senate floor. Thank fucking God. He looks like shit. He's so embarrassing. He's got this mustache now

and he wears like not even a normal hoodie. It's got like the sleeves cut off. He's wearing like basketball shorts. It's like, dude, you're trying to look ridiculous. Yeah, he looks terrible. He took the heat because he looks terrible um kirsten or christine cinema her first name might be kirsten she was also violating the thing but as a girl it's a little weirder like she dressed in denim from head to

toe and you're like this is not the dress code but chicks are a little funkier literally what i was look at that fucking that's actually kind of upscale for him without he stinks too look at that cop yeah but now he's wearing a suit there is a big picture everyone's looking at him thinking what a joke yeah of course they are Even if he's your guy, like, look, if he was my guy, I'd be like, yeah, but who's sitting in the fucking chair? This looks better. I don't know. That's an old picture, Woody.

You can tell. He looked with it as well. No, he's with it now. He's with it now? Dude, he is healed from his stroke, and the new Republican conspiracy bullshit, because they're fucking idiots, is that he has a body double

i saw a full body double like they say he has a body double and that's why now he can communicate effectively oh you know i've seen those where like people are like look at how different he looks and it's like do none of you know how focal points on cameras work like just like yeah he has tattoos on his arms here so it's like a picture of him with a tattoo and they're like now his tattoo is gone and it's like that's how arms work yeah he's fucking retarded yeah the guy i don't like that guy but i don't care i guess i'm glad he's not my guy i've already got an embarrassing gal you know we've got margaret's one and hers isn't even the hot one no i would i'd be look i'm okay with that shit with um lauren bobert fucking jerking the dude off in the theater getting all felt up i had no issue with any of that frankly um just so everyone knows keep you

safe in the theaters all theaters have fucking night vision cameras looking at you now, so you can't have any fun in the theater anymore. All theaters? Yeah. At least that one theater had one pointed there. All theaters that we're going to go to. I'm sure we could go to a Pee Wee Herman type joint and be in peace. There might be some.

That's what I'm saying! Right? You know, sometimes you gotta, i know what you're thinking you had to pee that time during ted too and what do you just let her rip right there yeah i tried to give him a cup he said that's such a that's such a ridiculous like like i could i could totally see that if i was sitting in the theater in 2003 watching return of the king and i have to pee really like i could i could totally see that if i was sitting in the theater in 2003 watching return of the king and i have to pee really bad i could have convinced myself at that 12 13 years old to be like pee in a cup just pee in this cup you cannot miss the the battle of pellinore fields right now but that's when i had to see i remember which one is pellinore fields i

thought i learned the crazy names that's the one outside yeah that's the one outside of Minas Tirith where Théoden is riding doing that like best intro to a battle like hype up song or speech ever so good so good

is that the one where he's like there's a day where the courage of men will fail but that's not this day yes yeah delivering speeches like that is so much harder than you think i think a lot of people feel like they'd be a decent actor like that maybe not great but you'd be decent and i i want to tell you listener who might think that the last time someone pointed a camera at you how'd you do did you start delivering lines well did you crush it were you interesting did you have something to say because you put a camera on someone and they turn to mush like i killed it he killed it i feel like it would be so hard

as an actor not to just feel ridiculous especially thinking about what people are thinking that gets in my head like am i killing am i loud am i do i sound like i have gravitas right now probably not because you're worried about gravitas and people who have it don't do that yeah yeah the real king of rohan wouldn't be worried about you know the uh the the pace of his speech right now. He'd just be laying it out there. Yeah, I don't think I'd do a good job acting either. Or maybe I'd do a great job. Probably not. No, probably not.

I think it depends on the kind of acting, right? And it's the director's job to go as long as it takes to make you look right. Whenever you see bad acting, it's not just a bad actor, it's a bad director who either couldn't get a good performance or wouldn't try.

You know? I was watching the director's commentary for Godfather 1. You basically watch the Godfather, but with Scorsese talking to you the whole time so you can't hear the audio of the movie. Sounds like an awful experience.

Yeah, and he's got a terrible actor right there in the opening scene right no i loved it i love it uh right away you've got the uh the character that's um the godfather's bodyguard it's it's fucking his name's a scapegoat no um but um the guy wasn't an actor he was a wrestler big giant guy and he was nervous because he's about to go meet um marlon brando so he's so he couldn't deliver his lines and when he did do it it's terrible it's all he's the one who comes in he's like godfather on the day of your on the day of your daughter's wedding i come to you he's like stuttering over his lines but they they made it a scene earlier where he's out there practicing the lines again, poorly.

Cause he can't get it straight. Cause he's not a fucking actor and he's nervous and it's great. It's like, you took a non-actor and made the fact that he is a non-actor and a bad actor and made it a joke in the movie. And it, I never noticed that. I was like,

yeah, that character is like, he's, he's not used to talking to the Godfather. He's not used to being in the big room where everybody's got, I got tuxedos that. I was like, yeah, that character is like, he's not used to talking to the Godfather. He's not used to being in the big room where everybody's got tuxedos on. I always read it that way. But no, the guy was just a shitty actor.

Have you seen Wild Hogs? I have not. The Tim Allen, John Travolta film from 2006 or 2007 where they ride around on motorcycles. Have you seen it? No. Dude, so you seen it? No. Dude, so I think it was Fish. He suggested it to me in the PKA Hangout.

And I was like, you know what? Heck, I'm in. I watched the trailer, and the trailer seemed kind of fun. It's about four guys who have a midlife crisis kind of and decide to go on a motorcycle road trip together. And I'm like, all right, it comes in feeling a little personal, but okay. And

one of the characters is even named Woody. John Travolta's name is Woody in the film. It is the worst movie. It is over the top homophobic by the way. Like there's gay jokes all over the place in like an insulting kind of way and every everything about it is horrible all the acting is horrible the plot is horrible it's wildly predictable

there's nothing remotely relatable in like just how terrible they are and how stupid they are and in the end i was dumber for having watched it and i'm baffled that such a bad movie could be made it i it is one of the is maybe the worst movie i've seen in the decades this is why you don't listen to just like a flagrant star vehicle right like they just threw four stars in there and we're like just martin lawrence in it martin lawrence john travolta um adam sandler alan it was very popular at the time amongst the group that it's clearly targeting because i remember i was playing a lot of poker at the time like in three or four nights a week and most of the guys that i'm playing with are late 40s to 60s and they're kind of like

motorcycle dudes we're in a motorcycle bar and they're like oh you've seen wild hogs oh at tim allen god damn at john sprokel he wasn't so much a queer this time either yeah stand up kind of feather i think and like this is fucking i know it's a shit fucking movie like you can just see i can i can i can read a book by its cover most of the time like i can fucking tell i get there's enough like directed by who now what yeah so predictable so lame lame it just pitifully written i thought maybe tim allen wrote it like it was a first effort at a screenplay but no it wasn't him i i i'm sorry i'm not articulate on this i am baffled by how bad a movie was made and marketed and someone thought this was a home i bet it made money oh for sure

it's like 14 on rotten tomatoes it's terrible i try not to watch i the most recent thing i'm watching is rome i just finished it it's a real pity that that can't that should got canceled because you would you recommend it i have it on my list yeah yeah yeah i definitely recommend it? I have it on my list. Yeah, I definitely recommend it. It's two seasons. You'll tell that things advance quickly. We'll talk a lot. We'll have Julius Caesar and Caesar Octavian, and everyone's

in a room. We're talking about the war. Oh, big war with Egypt coming up. Then they're like, all right, let's fucking get them. Then the next scene, the ships of Egypt are burning in the ocean. And it's like, war over, bitches. Now it's time to divvy up Egypt. Like, stuff like that will happen.

Sex and violence, right? Lots of it. So much torture, violence, rape, and nudity. And I wouldn't say the fight scenes are particularly good. They're just okay. But I really like the characters. And it's an accurate telling of what Roman life was like. When you see the interiors of the houses, apparently, the way the streets look, especially the way they dress is true to form historically.

And while the characters are doing silly things, they're doing the broad points are all historically very much true. Like, yes, Caesar did stay in Gaul until whatever, 67. And then he came down into the peninsula and this happened on this year. And yes, Caesar Octavian was the one who was part of the triumvirate with Mark Antony and et cetera, et cetera.

Like that's all accurate. But the characters of Fullo and Lucius, was part of the triumvirate with mark antony and etc etc like that's all accurate but the characters of pullo and um lucius varinas are real people with fictional stories that are fun to follow along pullo is like the big brood of a guy that you always want there if someone needs a killing it's there's characters like that in lots of shows i really like the guy in the expanse that's all that he's short but he's real fucking ripped he's the psychopath on the and if you're in trouble if there's a scary man around it's like oh don't worry he's here we got the scary guy now he's a scary to you this guy's scary polo is so scary um it's i'll just spoil a tiny part you you won't know when it's coming probably

but he has an interaction with a guy and the guy's like we don't have to fight here today no one has to die pullo and pullo goes you're right they shake hands and pullo head butts him and then grabs him and pries his mouth apart with both his hands bites the man's tongue out in front of all of his men spits it at him and then charges into them with his sword and all of his men follow in behind him while the main guy lays there choking on his blood because he just got his tongue bitten out it was so awful oh shit i was just like that's the most hardcore thing i've seen in a minute that was pretty rough and then later on some other forgot about that scene some other characters asking him because

they're catching up been years since they've seen each other hey what what happened well we had a big fight yeah what what happened well i pretended like i was gonna agree and then i head buttered him and bit his tongue out i think i, you bit his tongue out? Sure did. Tasted like chicken. Let me laugh about it. It's great. I love that call. It'd be hard to bite my tongue out.

I feel like I'd pull it in. Well, yeah, I feel it. He's really getting in there. He gets up one hand on the bottom teeth and one hand on the top teeth and pries the guy. And he also is a bit concussed from the head-butt. So he gets in there. It doesn't seem like the first time

he wouldn't have tried that shit with Taylor he wouldn't have lost the headbutt battle and then tried to pry his jaw open good luck with that I'd have gotten fucking eight fingers as a snack just spitting fingertips at who you were fucking

with just would have destroyed him I told you yeah my dentist is blown away by the size of my masseter muscles from he said you have the largest masseter muscles I've seen on someone like which is the jaw muscles because I spent my entire

childhood and adolescence up until like 2728 years old grinding our teeth so hard in the middle of the night that they just got big. I bet there's somewhere with a bite force measurement system. I've seen those. It would be interesting.

My teeth are fake, though, so I wouldn't want to go all out biting. I don't want to break my teeth. Hopefully it's squishy like a mouth guard. You would bite hard with a mouth guard, like a hockey mouth guard. You think that would do well at an arcade?

Instead of the punching machine, the biting machine? I don't know. If you win, you get 100 tickets at Hep C. It's like, this game is disgusting. Taylor, I have a question for you. Yeah. Tell me about your African Uber driver.

Oh, yeah. This was like two months ago now that I was in an Uber, heading to a buddy's house, hang out, pool day, had to Uber because it was in the middle of St. Louis' absurd heat wave where we were the hottest place in the country for like six weeks. And my AC went out in my car. And so I was like, I'm not driving and dying in my car on the way there. And so I ordered an Uber and it's this African guy who's my Uber driver. And immediately, he's already on the phone when he picks me up. And he stops for one second to be like, do you mind if I continue to speak on the phone?

And I was like, no, not at all. And so I just got like a 25 minute ride from this guy. By the way, he took the absolute longest way to my friend's house. I like I tried like at least two times to be like, you want to take a right here? We didn't take a right there. You want to go straight? And we turned there. We went through like neighborhoods,

but this guy, he was like, must've been something of a relationship. That would upset me. Well, he was interesting. He was on the phone, clearly talking to,

uh, first a man for most of the car ride. And clearly this man was confiding in him about his relationship problems and they're both Nigerian or something and so he had all these like funny tips like the big tip that I remember him saying over and over was like you are allowing a woman in your own house to dictate to you what you do and what you do not do. This is something that to me is entire nonsense. That is why you are in this situation. This situation has happened to you because she is in your house and she is telling you and you are listening to her. You do not allow her in

your house to dictate the rules. He said dictate a lot. To dictate the rules to you. I'm with him. I'm on board with him because I'm picturing a scenario where like, yeah, you can move in with me. And she's like, hey, clean your shit up. Hey, get your towels off the floor. Hey, come in here. Like, fucking, what are you doing? You left your dish on the table? Yeah, it's my fucking table, my fucking dish.

Yeah. Mash. This guy was traditional as shit. Like, very traditional Nigerian man. man he's like she is not meant to be in your house instructing you you are to lead her in the house you are when you are in the house you are in charge and so you do not listen to her you are having listen and then he'll be like listen listen listen listen to me listen to what I am saying to you. I say again, when she dictates to you and you listen to this, you are not taking your power as a man.

Your power as a man, that is your house. That is your home. You are the head of the snake or whatever the fuck. I like that. Stay with that. I added that bit in. The head of the snake? You are the head of the snake.

Oh, okay, okay. You are the head of the snake. Okay, okay. You are the head of the snake. Now it will become a silly avoid. You are the locomotive on this train. If the head follows the tail, what would happen? What would happen? No, you cannot. You are having problem in relationship because she does not respect you.

You are allowing her to be in a part of the relationship that she as a woman should not be a part of and it was like i i wish i could hear the other guy's point like all the stuff he was complaining about but i'd like to say i think i learned stuff from him i think i learned a lot about nigerian masculinity and i think i'm going to take that to the bank next time I'm in a serious relationship. And never, never allow a woman in my house to tell me how I must behave. Never. I mean, I'm with my gumbo here.

All that sounds pretty good to me. I gave him a good tip and five stars. On the surface. I don't like him driving you all around town. I did not put up. No, but like at the end of it, I was fine with like four extra minutes of driving to get a little more more insight yeah that's fair but then at the end clearly a woman was on the phone and so i think he was like mitigating a familial conflict with someone that he knew like he was the guru

handing out life lessons to people and i didn't really catch much of the woman i would have got a second you know what take me back i want to hear the i want to hear you tell her yes you are just a woman it is your job to shut your trap he like gives the guy like all this build-up advice and then for the woman he's like you are a despicable witch i am going to kill you because you step out of line in your house with your husband so i assume it was husband and wife they're pretty traditional over there i think pretty pretty christian mostly in nigeria i think you picked up a few things from them yeah i think of them as catholic or definitely christian in some way or another yeah they're one of the one nigerian i think not super i worked with a nigerian guy um he had like a his name is like

alexander or something like a very white name and uh and i just remember he was like really good with the ladies he's a good looking guy he's a big dude and uh and he called pussy cuckoo he's like i know how to please the cuckoo The cuckoo tried to get away from me sometimes. I do not let it. He's like, going forward. I also call pussy cuckoo. Yeah. A little cuckoo for cuckoo puffs.

Explaining how he'd like put a pillow, a couple of pillows in pile. I'm kind of put that around the lady's waist or butt would be up. He's like, but then you grab the pillow. It's the cuckoo cannot get away. He was always talking about really getting after some cuckoo. And she's already woozy from the head injury.

She does not have a chance to escape my Uber. Yeah, I don't like them driving me around. Again, I don't take ubers very much but usually when i do it's because i'm dropping something off like a u-haul or something and i know the way home so i know if they're jerking me around i wouldn't like that very much wait i'm am i mistaken i thought the price was agreed on beforehand so they're not jerking you around like a taxi driver like price wise yeah no it didn't get

more expensive it's just like i would look at my app and it's like oh we're not driving you around like a taxi driver, like price-wise. Yeah, no, it didn't get more expensive. It's just like I would look at my app and it's like, oh, we're not arriving at 12.05 anymore. We're arriving at 12.10. He's just inexplicably taking a different route. Just inexplicably. He went away I'd never considered going to my friend's house. I hate that even more. It's frustrating.

Like you're not even profiting from this. You're just wasting both of our time. He was paying no attention to the drive I could have been holding him At gunpoint in the back And he would not have known He was very into this conversation You cannot pull a gun in my car

This is my car It is disrespectful You cannot dictate to me In my Uber Even if you have a gun like he yeah now that i looked at nigeria's religious breakdown it seems more likely he was muslim because they're like 50 50 and he was my guy definitely pretty hard with the woman's stuff and that seems to go with with muslim islam yeah but or in common sense in general you know like it does sound like like it does sound like

his girlfriend is like kind of bossing him around at his house and he's and i think your uber driver was on to something i think he was dude why are men better at everything what is with that i think it's just because because because historically if you weren't at least good at something as a man, you probably weren't going to have any children and pass your DNA along for one reason or another. You had to be good at something. But I was a lady. Are you there? I saw women complaining about men competing in their sport.

They said it was absolutely unfair and that we can't like if this trans woman you know born a man now a woman uh is competing against us it's not fair but that sport was fishing and i'm like why are men better at fishing why do women think it's not even fair to compete against men in fishing i'm close how much men better men are at fishing it was freshwater fishing mind you it's not like they how much better men are at fishing. It was freshwater fishing, mind you. It's not like they were catching giant marlins. That's the hard time. The deepwater fishing is easier.

You're just like, let's wait. The freshwater is when they're doing all this fancy cast and picking the right bait for the sun and the water and the cover and the fish. I just imagine bringing in a marlin might give a strength advantage to a guy. But if the fish weighs six pounds or four pounds then women are strong enough men just tend to obsess over things much much more and so any

hyper specific hobby you're gonna have way way more men than women who are interested in it like i would imagine and also you're right about the ancestor thing like i think we have like tons of men just throughout history just did not fuck and have kids tons of things you ever you ever you ever hear someone say yeah he's just talented at that thing you know why because his grand great grandfather was talented at that thing and that mean he got to fuck a lot there's a lot of people who are talented at jumping because their ancestors were too. And the guys who weren't good at jumping just couldn't get away from that thing.

Or maybe they just couldn't catch a woman to rape her, frankly. It might have been that. You think Thor Bjornsson was the first strong guy in his family? No. He came from a whole line of absolute monsters. They're taller than him his brothers are

taller yeah you go back 400 years and he's like storming a monastery on the coast of england he would be he's like a superpower in a world where you don't have machinery and like and electronics and stuff like he shows up twice as three, four times as strong as any other human being. The doors can't stop him. He's so big. I wonder what he looks like without steroids. Let's agree he'd be just as tall and he'd be very strong. But without steroids, how big would he be?

I mean, he'd still be that tall. Like ancient Viking Thor? I think he'd be the perfect big for smashing people, like whatever that would be. For stealing golden crucifixes from religious sites. His body is not the ideal

for fighting. No, it's the ideal for moving weight. I don't know what fighting meant for them, though. I don't think it meant squaring up necessarily as much as it meant chasing people down with an axe. The Vikings would just roll up on your shore, and you didn't know you had trouble with Vikings. You might not even know what a Viking is. You may have never seen a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, white dude that's six foot two,

but there he is with all of his buddies. They just rolled up, and they're here here and they don't want to talk. They're hacking the door down, screaming and fucking Scandinavian. I imagine a Roman skilled with a spear beats him. Picture who's the

poison guy from Game of Thrones. The Red Vipers of Thorn. Pedro Pascal. Yeah. All right right his character i think could beat thor there's some dude like that that was just interestingly enough here that that's have you seen the whole friend of of people being um the girls ask their boyfriends how often do you think about the roman empire and yes they're like i don't know like a couple times a week maybe but what you just mentioned like yeah all the time conquered all of the germanic celtic people of gaul which

was eastern europe like they conquered or western europe they conquered all of that and and those were those people um i don't know how long that campaign went on for, but they were just, some of the things the Romans did are so wild. They just went to the other side of the world with tens of thousands of men. They bring like 80,000 soldiers and go conquer a continent and then build a road back

and start taxing and shipping the gold home. And they just kept doing that until they owned so much of the world. It was, so yeah, I guess I think about yeah at least a couple times a week it's the coolest empire ever i should think about rome more because i don't know anything yeah rome is so cool 117 that's the peak of their expansion i believe right like like obviously i'm the the least knowledgeable geography wise but i know that's fucking england up there in the top left yeah that looks like they've got babylon and britain that's a big span and unlike that nonsense where they're like look at gangus

khan's empire it's like you mean just a trail with burnt villages and no infrastructure and no production and a bunch of... This was an empire. Every one of those provinces is shipping gold by road and ship back to Rome. It's a machine. It was...

I really like anything about Rome. I wish there was a... It's a shame that the TV show failed. They should do more Rome historical shows. Those would slay. There's a really good one on Netflix. There's a really good Rome multi-episode, like the history of Rome. It's very good.

Spartacus is good. It is fairly historical. Wait, wait. You said Spartacus was good. Did you watch it to the end? I watched one. Again, I'm good at reading books by covers. I could tell that I didn't want to watch Wait, you said Spartacus was good. Did you watch it to the end? I watched one thing. Again, I'm good at reading books by covers. I could tell that I didn't want to watch that new guy.

So I watched the first season, then the second season, which is like the prequel. And I disengaged because I knew it wasn't going to be good from there. I could tell. I could see it. The writing was on the wall. The man died. It ended really bad. And the fight scenes, I enjoyed the fight scenes in the beginning it was a different way to do videography

around a fight by the end they just took it it was like alright there's trouble and they all start moving in slow-mo with blood splatters on the screen and it got super bad yeah it's uh but for anyone who wants to see like another

titty period piece, my goodness. Seasons one and two of Spartacus. You'll never see as much cock and Titty in a regular TV show ever. I think Showtime made it. Real good show. It's got Cinemax vibes. Yeah, it's got

I'm spacing out her name, but fucking Zina is in there top. Lucy Lawless, am I right top Lucy Lawless am I right New Zealand actress yeah that sucks he died at 39 from cancer I thought it was

one of the lymphomas non Hodgkin lymphoma yeah that's the bad one I guess I mean they're both probably bad you don't even mind the other kind. You're just like, ah, do I have that too? Do I have that too? Oh, rats have got lymphoma.

Not again. It's going to ruin my weekend. I have seasonal lymphoma. Seasonal lymphoma. It really flares up around the springtime. Seasonal affective lymphomaoma they get in a bad mood and die now that guy was pretty cool i don't recall his name i do remember though at the height of that show i was oh spartans is a great show and then he was in a freddy w video

which is really cool and uh and then he died like soon thereafter it felt like um so as soon as i kind of became interested in him and wanted to watch more of his shit he literally died colin got into old school freddy w and rocket jump videos and he was very impressed that i knew freddy w and hung out with him for a day or two it was like suddenly i'm cool which is hard to do I know. That's funny. I remember those videos were just so crazy. I remember one with a cat, like a Call of Duty cat, and the cat was running around shooting guns and stuff.

I always liked that stuff a lot. He had a tremendous amount of balls. Maybe some were real, some were CGI. Did outrageous stuff with like too many balls yeah it's been so long ago i'm uh i'm mostly watching a bunch of science shit now i really like um i think it's called be smart i've been watching that channel a lot but but mostly space stuff i saw they land so a few years ago now they landed on an asteroid and took samples from it, like rocks and dirt and dust. I think they like land and then immediately popped off is the way the system worked.

OK, so that arrived back like last week or something, and they're testing it now. So there's samples here in Atlanta they're going through right now. It's pretty neat. It's in Atlanta. Yeah, here in atlanta they're going through right now it's pretty neat it's in atlanta uh yeah i think at the cdc they they landed um on an asteroid in fucking space they went out and got it grabbed some pieces of it flew them back home and and they're here now and they're and they're you know looking for i don't know the chemical composition i suppose yeah i wouldn't imagine there's life on an asteroid it's it could be i mean like uh like if you had um some sort of bacteria or something in a rock and then another

rock hit that rock and blew it off into space or something or if um what they always talk about lack of atmosphere do they have life oh it would just you just freeze the back it'd be like frozen in a rock though right like it would be like living on there like living the asteroid life looking around or anything it'd be like some little cells that are frozen in crack crevices in the rock in the middle i didn't consider dead life like those worms they find uh-huh in uh in um antarctica they thaw them out and like bring them back to life. They've done that a few times with the worms, with viruses that they found

that are just dead. They're not moving and they thaw them out. Oh, now we've got it alive again. And then, what was the other thing they did it with? Oh, seeds. They found, I always found it interesting, they found these seeds. One example I know for sure is the Anasazi beans.

They found them in these clay vessels in southwestern United States. And we didn't have any Anasazi beans. They didn't exist. They'd gone extinct. But there they were in these vessels. So they got them out and germinated them. And now you can buy Anasazi beans. They're basically black-eyed peas that look red.

And they don't taste that good, if you're being honest. I was like, I want some. Yeah. I've still peas that look red and they don't taste that good. If you're being honest, I was like, I want some. Yeah, I've still got them. But, uh, but they've done that a bunch of times found seeds in those old, uh,

clay vessels from Egyptian times and stuff and then brought them back, big trees and stuff like that. So, yeah, I guess there could be some bacteria living on that rock that got blasted off into space and it's frozen, just moving around through space. The beans and seeds thing having a history is cool to me. Yeah.

To bring it back to corals and fish. So what happens is sometimes in the hobby, some legend of the hobby will go scuba diving. And here he is in Hawaii or off the coast of Africa or Australia or whatever. And he sees a coral that's cool. So he breaks a piece off of it and he flies it home with him. And now this thing is like smaller than a baseball, but he grows it out and he gives pieces to this guy and that guy. And then it grows out some more and it's cool and it looks good in a tank. And it grows more and more and more.

And then like whatever, 25 years goes by and this thing has spread through like everybody's tank in America. It's this legendary thing. And this guy now is like old and fat and like, you know, 67 or something. And he's got this picture of him in Hawaii with a full head of hair looking young like the day he found it. And it's like the legendary story of the Oregon tort or whatever and I'm like I want I have one it's called a red planet like it there are different corals that are like legendary and they're common like it's not it's just neat I like the history of it yeah it came from here I don't know what kind of organism

coral is it's are those many plants that, that, that live together. It's an animal. And, uh, can you, Zach,

can you pull up a picture of like an Acropora, A-C-R-O-P-O-R-A. And, uh, it's an animal. It has a calcium skeleton in it. And every polyp is an animal. It's like a separate organism.

And they're connected by their skin so they can share some level of uh of nutrients and stuff that goes throughout and let me see what he gets oh perfect that's a great one yeah so if you look like at the say the bottom center there's like a little green polyp that's what that's and they're different animals each one or yeah genetically identical we're at, I don't even know, like a hundred different animals in this thing. Every polyp is its own animal, but they can share nutrients.

And they have algae inside called zooxanthellae, and that's photosynthetic. So when you shine the light on it, the photosynthetic algae has a symbiotic relationship, gives energy to the animal, as well as the animal also catches like little debris and tiny bugs and stuff that come floating by. So, um,

fascinating. Oh, wow. Yeah. I guess what I was wondering is whether it were, it was a collection of individuals or one enormous one, the way that some kinds of, um,

um, like fungus mushrooms and fungi. Yeah. Yeah. This, and things like that are weird it's like is that thing conscious does it what is it is it down there thinking about stuff no it doesn't have a brain and its mouth and butt are the same hole but it is an animal i don't mean coral i'm

at the fungus oh oh yeah i hear people wonder about the fun like i guess there's some level of communication that happens in a network of fungus or fungi yeah um but it's tricky because the people who talk about it are usually really into psychedelics yeah so it's like you are both a subject matter expert and an unreliable yeah and i don't know what to make of it you're trying to convince me that like mother earth is communicating under the forest in this like network of mushrooms i'm open to it though like the the idea that maybe it doesn't exactly think the way we do but in some way it's conscious and capable of at least some sort of like i don't know reactionary like oh this hurts sort of i don't know maybe some sort of thought process

i was someone was talking about ants on a podcast i was listening to uh their i guess their brain is 35 of their body and you know ants do all sorts of crazy things oh that was yeah tunnels and i'm sure you know tier zoo the youtube channel yeah it's fun amazing content by the way you guys got a really good concept for a channel. And he talks about what makes animals successful. And so much of it is cooperation. I mean, it's the essence of humans.

We're not, well, we're pretty big, but we're not stronger. Really, what we're good at is thinking, working together and passing. And our long lives allow us to pass down generational knowledge and learn more. If we died in a year year we wouldn't learn much um so back to ants their socialization has made them one of the most successful animals on the planet organisms i should say insects are not animals right they're animals they are in the the what is it what's the animal kingdom animalia animalia no the not phylum. Kingdom. Kingdom? Kingdom. There we go. Man, it's been a long time since third grade.

Yeah. Insects are animals. That's why long ago, I was like, I don't think I want to do bug fighting, because it seems like animal fighting, and maybe someone would get in trouble somehow. But someone did do it. It's super popular now.

I keep getting these videos of scorpions and spiders fighting. Really? I still watch those sometimes. Yeah, they're definitely cool. Yeah, they're gruesome. The main problem with that, I don't want to house those creatures in my home. Not even a little bit. Oh, no.

That's a YouTube thing. You don't want a Japanese murder hornet. I mean, actually, the one where it's the Murder Hornet versus that giant Praying Mantis. A Praying Mantis wouldn't be rough to have around because it wants nothing to do with you. I'll pick those up and help them out when I see them in the woods

and stuff. They won't hurt you. They're pretty chill. Wait, Praying Mantis don't hurt you at all? I've touched them too, but I thought they really bit you. They're so chill that it almost seems like they know you're being chill. They're like, hey, buddy, come here. And you can pick him up. And he's just kind of, all right, what are you about, dude?

What are you about? I know he's probably just freezing because he thinks as long as he sits still, I won't hurt him. But he just sits there and they'll let you pick him up and look at him. him but he just sits there and they'll let you pick them up and look at them and like they watch you like an i mean they're animals but like a smart animal it's you can see its pupils and it will follow you around you're like dude are you are you serious right now all right get the fuck up in that tree leave me alone good day to you sir good luck out there in the wild i wish i had a bird do that to me today we had a bird jackie was taking the trash out so the kitchen door was open for like an entire minute bird

flies in the house and i hear these like scream woody there's a bird in the house but as she's saying that the bird comes flying into the game of thrones room and uh he's like doing laps around there he eventually slant uh we have a door with like this glass window over it and uh he bumps into it and he's on the ground but he's alive so now i can now i can get him right and i sort of catch him i pet him gently and i think he i think he was stunned but also figured out i'm not about killing him you know if this guy wanted to kill me i'd be dead by now and i i picked him up and i put him outside and uh we named him falcon food and i don't know what happened after that well he he dazed got eaten by a hawk it could be that that does appeal to me a little bit um eating hawks getting a falcon and and sicking it on

pigeons please get into falconry falconry because yeah because there's an air there's a there's a small airport not all that far from me and it's like man i bet they could use a falconer out here take care of those pigeons keep them out of the way of the planes and such keep them out keep them out by airfield you You think you would do... I bet that your first job in falconry isn't at the busiest airport in America. Oh, not that one.

There's a small airport nearby. There's a lot of airports around Atlanta. They'd be like, sir, why don't you just use a rifle? I don't talk about that. Oh, that's the easy way. He's the worst airport supervisor getting rid of birds ever. Number one, he's using rifles. He's firing.308.

Chimney sweeps. We lost three plays this week. No, you cannot bring your punt gun. I think you want the Falcon. I did read that book when i was a kid i think it was called my side of the mountain and it's about a boy who goes up in the mountains of new york up in the catskills i liked that book a lot and lives in a fucking tree makes acorn pancakes hides from anybody who's around and he goes up climbs up this mountain face uh uh, and he takes, uh,

a youngling peregrine Falcon, which I believe is one of the fastest birds in the world. Like it's probably top three fastest birds in the world. And, uh, yeah, I think that, yeah,

I think it is the fastest on a dive, like Taylor said. And so he gets one and he raises and he trains it to be his buddy and fucking help him catch small game. And that's a big part of how he survived. And always thought that was pretty neat and then when i was like 10 or 12 some falconers came to my dad's property was like hey could we use our falcons here we make these vhs tapes and sell them of us falconing and you could have some tapes if you let us you know go and so it's like sure we're about to pass on that deal well how could we

he gave us a fucking cassette tape and you can imagine what it looks like aiming a cassette camera at the sky trying to capture your falcon hitting a dove so i was we watched three minutes of it and turned it off but i remember watching them do it it was really neat because it would fucking yeah fucking smack in person i bet it was really neat because it would fucking yeah fucking smack in person i bet it's really bring them back yeah because you've got i mean it's it's you know what it is you've got a goddamn bird that'll fly off and kill another bird bring it back and it's pretty sick because they knock the shit out of them when they hit them did uh we talk about on the show that the Blade news,

the guy who died on his stream. Yes. Or maybe. Was that in the Hangout? Blade stream. Do you want to lay the whole thing out? Do you have the broad strokes? Do you know the whole thing? I have the broad strokes of it.

Lay it out. So basically, and someone in the comments will correct all the shit I'm wrong on, but Blade and then a few other guys were in like a streamer house where they all obviously stream and whatnot and one person named willie was like a fan of blade stream and he kind of got involved in it on the content side where now he was on in the house and you know chatting with the people and the text to speech i guess i guess he drove cross country i didn't even know he drove that well i was told 12 to 18 hours or something jesus christ so like the for a big part of the country

yeah 18 hours if he's driving that far and they're all in this this house streaming and lots of boozing lots of uh seemingly some some drugs going down there and this guy willie took like i apparently he took a bunch of ambien or some kind of pill that obviously is not going to interact with alcohol in a way that's zanix zanix that's another one of benzodiazepine that can straight up just kill you because it will shut down your respiration and everything don't do that you don't want to do not mix drugs folks do not mix benzos and alcohol or any of that don't fuck with me sometimes uh you don't fuck with them and this guy i guess was on those or ambient something i saw a couple different things but basically he was on some kind of pills that like make drinking like a a death wish basically and he started i saw a clip of him drinking on the stream willie and i guess someone paid on the

the chat text to donate it to himself donated to himself and he took like a whole so like like most of a solo cup filled with uh crown royal which is whiskey so like probably six shots worth in there a huge amount and that amount all in your system at once is already a shit ton but with pills like a benzo in your system or ambient benzo makes more sense like xanax like you will get to the point that like your your central nervous system is so depressed that like you stop breathing you your heart stops beating like you will die and this guy is clearly like totally out of it he's unconscious he's unconscious on his feet he passed out his feet, leaning up against a railing. And it wasn't blade stream. It was one of the guys he was with, uh, was standing there filming Willie as he's like,

totally out, like just basically almost wheezing with his breathing. And he's like joking, being like, Oh, he's going to fall everybody. We should make sure he doesn't fall. We should make sure he doesn't fall from where he's standing onto the ground here and the guy's clearly gonna fall if he wanted to help him not fall you would have just sincerely grabbed the guy and kind of gently any adult man could have done that like got him on the ground in a safe way or preferably to bed or to the hospital at that time they didn't know he had to go there and he collapses onto the ground, falls very, very hard. Some people said online, like, oh, it looks like he hit his head. I didn't really see that it looked like he hit his head that hard.

It looked like he just kind of went down almost like sack of potatoes, not a big head knock. But it wasn't, I don't think they're even claiming a head knock had anything to do with it. He was on the ground, like totally out, not with it he was on the ground like totally out not with it and instead of calling the paramedics they started like i saw one person held his nose for a bit like he's not breathing correctly and one person it wasn't blade it was one of the other guys was like held his nose for a bit pretty pretty shitty and then also they started painting his face so they have like black

and red and white paint and they're slathering it all over this guy's face they're writing juggalo on his stomach they are like putting like insane clown posse stuff on him maybe that was an inside joke i don't know but i don't know how long into that probably an hour or so they realize like it's this is not a guy who's just passed out like he's not breathing correctly he's like doing that knocked out like wheezy guy like fast breaths like very unnatural and so they call the paramedics and i think it was i think it was actually blade that called the paramedics and i did see the clip of blade like talking to the paramedic on the phone and was holding the guy's head and being

like do we keep him on his side do we keep him straight up uh and the paramedic on the phone and was holding the guy's head and being like, do we keep him on his side? Do we keep him straight up? And the paramedic person is like, all right, every time he exhales, tell me. And so Blade's like, he exhaled. He exhaled. Blade is? Yeah, Blade was saying this on the phone. And the woman's like, okay, his respiration is very, very fast right now. Okay, make sure that he still continues to breathe. Keep his neck elevated and his head and this that i'll send people out there the paramedics get out there and immediately one of the the streamer dudes is like they're still streaming it they're still the guy is still streaming it i don't know what blade's buddy's name was i wouldn't give him the attention even if i did and he is like talking to the

paramedics like we're streamers we do youtube and like as someone who like does a podcast that's on youtube i'm like oh that's fucking embarrassing why would you say why would you say that oh you should have said that right away sir we'll send the youtube streaming ambulance for good content and so then just to bring some some fucking marijuana like what are you doing like like you think there's a different line or something for streamer youtubers you cocks like they they get in there and they start trying that he's dying they're trying to help him the paramedics are like get me off camera i don't want to be filmed and the guy's like oh we're youtubers we do that and it's like dude a guy's like in in the paramedics are already here like

it's already an emergency you didn't call him for fun like what are you recording paramedics and the paramedics are like yeah the the guy it it was uh one of the guys who was there with blade was like like started lifting his phone up and paramedics like i don't want to be on your camera like they're they're at work and their job is to keep people from dyingics like i don't want to be on your camera like they're they're at work and their job is to keep people from dying so yeah they don't want to be on your fucking stream can we pause right here for a moment and make a judgment call on that move alone isolated on an island by itself let's say you were there you just arrived or maybe you've been there a while but you didn't drug this man or and you could have helped him if you'd seen it but you

didn't see him you're not culpable in any way. I think I still am going to stream the paramedics helping the guy because I'm not trying to be exploitative, but if I'm streaming and someone goes down as being life or death paramedics, turns out my life got interesting today, right? That's the way I see it. I would not feel comfortable streaming someone who was, like, in a life-threatening situation. It could go well, though, and then it's a happy moment for everyone. The best case scenario is he doesn't die.

I wouldn't do that to him. Living, streaming your day-to-day life, and then the most interesting thing. That could be the most interesting thing. These guys see their entire life. If you're them them you film it i understand their impulse to definitely and they clearly have no scruples and so like they were gonna do it but like i personally would not feel comfortable if if i were in a house and kyle you took a bunch of you took a bunch of xanax and then you guzzle the solo cup full of shit and you're on the floor wheezing. Don't stream me, Diane, goddammit.

I wouldn't stream you. But if your fucking loser drives cross-country and like poisons himself in front of you and you happen to be there, I might want to... Alright, we need to documentate

everything that happens. I'm going to record. I'm going to stream. We right. This we need to document everything that happens. I'm going to record. I'm going to. We need to read this obituary. Please. Is there a please read that where because I'm sure that everyone would like to hear these beautiful words. Willie two guns. Fifty two of Kansas City, Missouri, passed on August 25th, 2023.

He was surrounded by alcoholics and drug addicts in his death. This selfless man spent some of his last dollars buying energy drinks and t-shirts for a fentanyl addict at Walmart. Wow. Beautiful. Beautiful. Damn. I thought it was going to be a real obituary.

That is the real obituary. It mentions his screen name. Willie Two Guns with the number two willie two guns with the two that was a newspaper that's fucking why i don't think he's of kansas city because that's where that that shit happened if he drove i guess willie two guns took only use me blades is it wife or girlfriend it looks like the drama there is like i guess willie was dating his ex-girlfriend maybe it says he stole her from only use me blade now i don't know what to make of that i don't know what the truth is but that's what's in front of me um either way oh this guy it's crazy that he and blade were hanging out drinking in the first place

that that he like went there yeah like being that they had this woman between them so you would think it'd be awkward or volatile i wonder if it was like going before he went to like meet up with their group or if it was like they met there i don't know i guess no well i mean i mean no i think that's old news him like getting his girl i don't know anything about that shit all i know is what i saw and what i took from the whole fucking thing was clearly someone's dying in front of us and nobody's helping and it was real upsetting to watch yeah um especially the way they were i i particularly did not like them holding his nose it was it was brief but when someone's struggling for breath to stay alive that i don't i don't

like that a bit and then painting his face man if if if this goes to court in some sort of civil suit even like all of them are are in a lot of trouble. Yeah. The fact that he bought the shots for himself is not no good. He poisoned himself. It should be phrased that way. You can't even say that someone donated and made him do it or coerced him. He showed up. He drove eight.

He drove that all the way across the country to put on a show and he did it and he drank more than he could and poisoned himself but then nobody helped him they let him die there like lots of people drink too much they don't die on the floor in front of everyone though because eventually somebody like i don't know that was pretty fucked up xanax which is a kind of brand name for benzo maybe does anyone it's a type of benzodiazepine yeah it's good stuff but it doesn't mix well with alcohol at all and no not and i'm curious like what did the other people in the house know that he had taken a bunch

of these pills because if like the other people in the house knew he had taken these pills and he drank that much and passed out like that is that's an immediate emergency like no this guy was taking xanax and he passed out with drinking we need to get him to the hospital or he will die he will go right i'm not sure that's common knowledge though so when i saw him passed out it looked like any other passed out so they might not have understood the gravity of this situation. That's what I was thinking. Like, it's like, I'm sorry. I mean, I haven't been around a lot of people all the time.

That's true. So, so I've never, I can't think of anybody that I've seen that's like passed out, passed out, like knocked out, maybe like choked out and the whole way comes right back. But so drunk or drug that they can't answer a slap to the face and come to,

ah, that would be so fucking scary. i'd call somebody like yeah if you can't answer me then we've got to call for help that's it yeah especially like if they did know that he had taken a bunch of benzos or whatever the pill was and then responded that way after drinking that much booze like that's that's an instant like if we dire dire emergency maybe they didn't know i don't know the story of it but that like that is that is the most depressing way to die it's surprising it didn't happen sooner based on what we we see highlights occasionally i don't really watch them because you know it's kind of rough to watch it's not my cup of tea to see people sad poison and be mean to each other on a usually a rv like ice poseidon i his his rv idea has become this awful evil proliferative deadly oh my god like like

dude did you read the blade team star texts no i No. I did. I saw that. Yeah, apparently. Yeah, you go ahead and read them. I'll read. All right. I have to do a little censorship. I'll do my best. So Blade, apparently, the first one I'm about to read is drunk, and then it comes sober, but we'll see.

I just woke up. Bro, what is your fucking problem? What happened to you? This is Blade talking, I think. I'm disgusted to have ever help you you talentless leeching faggot you must be bored or evil here's the deal fuck off don't mention me ever i don't mention you you should have necked in the womb fuck your shitty drama alert channel which i came up with by the way you talentlessot. The fucked up thing is you were never my friend. It

was an opportunity for you to grow a YouTube channel. Because besides determination, you're nothing. That dumb kid at recess that tries the hardest. I grew up knowing kids like you, fucking losers that think if they try harder than the other kids, then maybe they might make it. You are the equivalent of an ugly bee cupper that thinks she deserves the prom crown. 100 years from now, when the dust settles, people will forget about you, and I'll live on. I'm so disappointed in myself for ever helping you. This is Blade talking. Fuck your interview and everything you stand for, piece of shit. The thing is, I don't hate you. I wouldn't go to your funeral, though. I am... Okay, it doesn't take over from there i'm sure you're gonna make a

video or whatever here's my statement willie died a month later from complications from ventilator i called ambulance and stayed on the line with the operator until the paramedics came i was sober and i didn't give him any booze or knew that he wasn't supposed to drink because of the medication he was taking because of a rollover car crash a month prior there is no police investigation anybody saying that is giving misinformation double dog toss colon i dropped not tossed dropped the dog like two feet including a picture to show the dog fall was not what the angle is same thing as your dog toss years ago clearly Clearly not okay, but not as outrageous as you people make it out to be.

Stop talking dogs. Yeah. Last note, going sober. I've done it before. You've helped me before. Not, not making promises,

but this time shit's old. Every negative thing stems from that. I do appreciate you in the past going out of your way to help me out multiple times and knowing I'm better than the booze so it looks like blade and keem are not friends anymore no i don't think they've been for i think keem kind of disowned him a while ago after after the first yes well read yeah i'm known for my insight very big tone change very big tone change in those texts between the wasted one and the sober one jesus christ and it's like to have to like talk about like i didn't know the guy was on the pills and that it's like that could very well be true like

could be but to then i don't have to wait it was the other guys that were there painting his face and pinching his nose that i don't like and i don't yeah i don't think blade was painting his face or doing that i don't like that the guy let him fall um although i'd probably let him fall yeah i don't let him fall this is being real some stranger's so drunk he's sliding down a wall i'm gonna dive across the room i don't know him i didn't see that part i don't know you fuck you come on be real you're at a bar and you see some fucking schlub sliding down the wall the guy

that guy and you're gonna dive in there and help him out. Dude, if I, if I would have been in, when I put myself in that house, like my real self is like, I would have been there for 15 seconds before I was like, this is the most depressing place I can imagine being. Is there a David Buster's nearby? We peeked in that. All right.

So I remember when we were in boston and me and woody like go up to y'all's hotel room and and we like peeked in there and it was like ah cool cool all right then bye yes because there's like 20 of you dudes living in this one little room with a xbox i think it was like everyone's 19 nowhere to sit huh yeah they were budget smells bad in here but no that's that that whole thing i'm not jumping in and helping anybody sliding down the wall so i won't judge that but i didn't like how they like fucked with him on the ground and i'll say again the reason i wouldn't grab somebody down the wall like i don't know if

that's a homeless guy he's all nasty and stuff or he's gonna get needles in his pockets i don't know if he's just goofing around and me going over there he's gonna fight me now i don't know if he is falling but me going over there he's gonna still fight me now i i don't want any part of crazy man falling down the wall he's on his fucking own hit your head i know that all if if each of us were there and let's say he's he fell down and you walk over and you're like what the hell's going on with this guy and then someone goes oh he took a bunch of xanax and then drank a solo cup of whiskey he'd be like wait so the ambulance is on the way right all right i'm gonna call the ambulance on the way out

put in a little anonymous tip hey got to send an ambulance here right away because someone's overdosing. Their imminent death is nearby. Like, send someone now. Here's the move. What's my name? I'm just a good Samaritan. Here's the move.

Give me your phone, person who's going to be staying at this party with the person. I'm going to call 911. Hey, 911. Yeah, I'm about to put you on with Jeff. This is his phone. We're at this address. X, Y, and Z. Dude's down. Here, tell him the rest. Tell him the rest. And then I'm calm. yeah i'm about to put you on with jeff this is his phone we're at this address x y and z

dude's down here tell him the rest tell him and then i'm calm i'm gone then you're gone why is it so important to be gone and not be i don't want to be here when the dude dies yeah i don't want to i don't want to be here for questioning if i stumble in this situation i'll be like whoa these guys are fucked up but i'm the adult in the room and i'm sober right now i'm calling the ambulance i'm going to give an accurate status report. No, he's not ambulatory. Breathing is irregular. I think this is urgent.

I'm not afraid of that. I'd like to get out of there, but you're right. When you phrase it that way, it wouldn't be comfortable. We don't have to. Oh, if we're all together? Yeah. You can go. I'll take care of it. We can go to the party. Stay behind while we get back to the hotel

and clean out the mini bar to make our hands stop shaking. Because that would be the most stressful night of all time. Oh, we'd have to hit a dispensary on the way back. It's Kansas City. It's illegal. We'd be good. Yeah. Oh, my God. Well, that genuinely is a shame. But you guys missed the big news. Blade's sober now.

If he throws chicken and broccoli into this mix, he's going to prove me right. Blade. I would love to see him turn it around and prove me right. That foot's going to start getting good circulation. Diabetes will go away. Does he have the beatus? He can fix that with diet.

Yeah, he has the beatus badly. That's what the cause of the... I bet it'd be easier to get into pee play if you had the betas. Oh, because it would taste so good. That makes perfect sense. Makes your pee sweet because your body can't filter out all that.

It's not actually sweet, though. It's probably only sweet in the world of pee. Is it a little tangy, Taylor? No, no. It's like cane syrup. only sweet in the world. Is it a little tangy? No, no. It's like cane syrup. No, no. You know the kind of piss I like? I like a 60 year old coffee drinker, a black coffee drinker.

Just so much you can you can smell the coffee through in the piss. Coffee and asparagus. Those both can. I don't. I love it. I love asparagus. It's delicious.'t i love it i love asparagus it's delicious um it's it's good even with nothing on it like i can spray it with like a little bit of pam and put salt and pepper on it it's good but i don't eat it because i don't like how my piss smells it's a it's

offensive to me like i don't i'm in the yeah it's so gross yeah but it's one of the best vegetables so you just deal with it no i don't i don't eat asparagus. It goes through your body so quickly. I've cut out all leafy greens as well, except for spinach. All of them. I cook the spinach. No raw leafy grains, of course. No sprouts. I'm really scared by that documentary.

We didn't touch on the dog thing again. The dog throwing, or as he put it, the dropping do you do that again how do you again do that and he did it twice on that stream where he was just holding a dog and then just like like almost like aggressively dropped the dog i don't i don't like that at all because i got not you know i don't like people throwing dogs or dropping dogs i didn't watch it but everybody who watched it the other day they were like they were like oh that's that they've reacted

strongly to it so i know i don't want to see he held the dog and then he kind of dumped it he didn't throw it for distance he just kind of dumped it and he did it twice and like blade if you're watching this cats are for dropping dropping. They're built for it. You can chunk a cat. You can toss a cat. We probably have fun with it. Hey, I can't remember because of the drugs, but didn't we determine

that a cat could be dropped from almost any height and survive the fall? Tall skyscrapers. Yeah. Actually, they don't always survive, but they sometimes do. More than people. Like way more than you'd think. If you put a small parachute on a cat,

it can survive from any distance. Nah, I bet that would throw it off. Nah, what if it... If you do it right, it would have to land on its feet, right? Yeah, but it's going to go... So it goes... That's...

Well, all I'm saying is, throw cats, Blade. Don't throw fucking dogs. They a little tighter on it. So it goes... Tat Cat. All I'm saying is throw cats, Blade. Don't throw fucking dogs. They're not good at it. There's no way to win someone over by abusing a dog. Everybody likes dogs. I hate the instinct that Blade had. I don't know how many times I've seen him

on stream dropping and throwing dogs. Four, maybe? The really bad one was the one years ago where he just how many times i've seen him on stream dropping and throwing dogs four maybe like three times the really bad one was the one years ago where he just like threw a dog and it was like like flipped almost seemingly yeah it and that dog like so he abused the dog and then he picked the dog up and the dog was so loving and just like endearing towards blade And then he did it again to the dog. And that, what is, is it a parasocial relationship?

What is it? Is it, what is it called? Taylor? You let me, you taught me a new word recently. Parasocial is like someone developing a imagined relationship with like us. Like they listen to a podcast a lot and they're like,

I know this guy. So I thought it was like unrequited love, but I saw you use it incorrectly. Anyway. Yeah. lot and they're like i know this guy okay i thought it was like unrequited love but so i use it incorrectly um anyway yeah that dog loved blade so much and it was so just like wanting to snuggle and make up and blade did it again to it and it was a special kind of cruel to me yeah that's me it's like like the first time the dog was probably like oh sorry boy did you drop me on accident boss it's okay it happens sometimes and it's like no no it doesn't happen number one just like unless you're like the dog of a very

elderly person who just loses strength in their arm like no no dog hunt taylor i was just thinking about that you were looking i would say three shows ago you're kind of on the edge of pulling the trigger for a dog i was and i still am but i have decided when i get one i'm going to go full puppy mode uh not like a one year old dog that's already trained and i was talking to my dad and he was like you know i think it's a really good idea that you get a dog but something i wish I had thought through when I got my last dog, my last puppy, was that it's really a good spring purchase. You don't want to be standing out there teaching a dog to pee in the snow for a whole season through its puppy phase.

That would be annoying. Or he said it was annoying with my dogs. I was like, oh, I didn't consider that because it gets cold as shit here. There's a bunch of snow. That would be annoying. Got said it was annoying with my dogs. I was like, I didn't consider that because it gets cold as shit here. There's a bunch of snow. That would be annoying. I think a March dog might be mine. Wait, St. Louis and Atlanta are not the same.

I'm not sure Kyle made a mistake. Where do you weigh in on that? We don't need the snow for the cold. We get a lot of snow. It gets cold. Sometimes it's 58. It'll be in the 40s.

In the 40s? You don't understand. It's the 40s. Dude, last winter it got to minus 8. It's cold to me. I put on my fucking snow gear. I'll have on like a... Snow gear meeting flip flops shorts and a hoodie no i've got like a tundra coat with a big fur like cowl and everything john federman cosplay when i was when i was when i was genuinely considering going to ukraine

a year or so ago um my girlfriend bought me a Ukraine-ready coat. And so I was like, well, I decided I don't want to get castrated in Eastern Europe. So instead, I got this for when the dogs poo. So it works well for that instead. That way I don't get castrated or anything in Russia. Are the winters that terrible in Ukraine? They probably are.

Yes, they're rather terrible in ukraine yeah it has a big impact on the uh their ability to move armor and heavy vehicles uh yeah that makes sense um this is basically russia so yeah i'm i'm still looking at dogs i don't i don't know what i want to do but i do want another dog i i go back and forth a little yeah yeah i've been considering small dogs i've been looking don't know what i want to do but i do want another dog i i go back and forth a little yeah yeah i've been considering small dogs i've been looking a lot of small dogs mostly pomeranians of pomapoos and um i like um um huskies mixed with um pomeranians it's a pomsky i like those it's like half husky half pomeranian it's a very odd looking guy it can look more husky or more pomeranian but the ones that look more pomeranian are basically like big fancy looking pomeranians and i think that's cool i love they're ready for the winter it's like a it's like the winter model of a of a pomeranian sport or something am i right in guessing that

they're healthier mixes like mutts tend to be pretty healthy dogs more genetic diversity seems like a good catalyst for them not getting some weird tumor on their neck you know three or four years in which happens with those like like oh a yellow lab huh what generation of inbreeding is this 8 000 like this guy wow that's that's a handsome dog. I like it. Oh, I'm fancy. So I like those. But I don't know what I'm going to get. I really like my doodle. Toby is tremendous. I've never had a dog that just sits there and makes eye contact with you and smiles as much as this dog does.

He just wants to be with me all day. He's super loving. He barks at the neighbor's children when they lean over the fence and puts a scare into him they're like can i play your dog i'm like he bites he bites is he is he waiting for you in the bait or downstairs right now just excited to play oh he's probably he's usually right outside that door like laying there waiting um or downstairs sometimes listening to your voice adoringly yeah uh if i kept the door open he would be under my desk with his foot like on my foot uh or his head on my foot uh but sometimes he gets tangled in the cables and they get scared so i can't have him in here

he just knocks all you like your router over because you know there's there's a lot of hot air coming out of the back and the side of the pc so he like nuzzles up in there and he'll sleep there for three or four hours at a time if i'm gaming or something so i might get another uh doodle of some kind he's supposedly a bernie doodle but he mostly looks like a big goofy ass poodle to me so any kind of poodle mix works my dog loves me and uh it's funny because jackie does too and they both want to snuggle me all night but i run a first come first serve operation jackie will pounce and be like god enderman lay sideways a little get it just just move him

Lay sideways a little. Just move him. He's so big. I don't know what he weighs now. 170 or something? Oh my God. That's unreal for a dog. Have you considered getting a bigger bed? Like one of the fancy king beds?

It's a king. I wonder what that'd be like to live with. All right, so I've got a king and I love it. I've still got my old Casper mattress. Every now and then I'll, I'll be like, Oh yeah, there's a new thing.

Can you kind of mattress? And then I just remember, I love my mattress so goddamn much. I don't think they make them anymore. I love it, but it's probably eight years old now. It's about time for a new mattress just for grossness reasons. I don't know.

A lot of it. Yeah. Ours is too. Yeah. It's about time. And, uh, I,

I do Toby and the other dog always sleep in the bed always and they'll get hot and then they'll get up and get on the floor and cool off and they make that circuit and when he lies down he will flop onto me and wake me up and it affects my goddamn sleep so i'm thinking about getting there's a couple of different ones they basically they just take a word and put it in front of king right there's a california king i think those are like bullshit people think it's better it's bullshit thank you just longer but yeah i think it's narrower no it's longer and narrower like put uh zach put up the uh the texas king yeah show us the show us the whole diagram he did there's a oh my bad. I wanted it on the screen so everyone could see. It doesn't have regular King for comparison, which is a bummer.

Yeah, we need the comparison. But I know they make like a Texas King or a Montana King or a Colorado King. I think it's a Colorado King. That rolls off the tongue a little bit better. But it's huge. There's a Wyoming and an Alaskan. I don't know Colorado. Okay, there you go. Anyway. I don't know. Okay. There you go.

Anyway, I've been thinking about doing that next time around, just getting, all right, so let me find the king. Okay. So there's the, okay.

And then it doesn't have the next one. Yeah. That's unfortunate. This is, it doesn't mean California. Oh, whoops. Oh,

there we go. Excellent. Here we go. Yeah. So the California King, I need to make my font bigger. It looks like on the width, you lose four

inches, and on the length, you gain four inches. The Wyoming King is the way to go. Alaska? The Alaska King is pretty great. I usually cap out at three people no dog huh yeah well it's not legal dogs in there not anymore yeah but you're in the comfort of your home you can't be stopped can't have babies aren't legal here either i don't know what country

this was made in this is i in. I like how they put a standard size of a crib in there as if like... Like this baby... Okay, so I usually sleep in the crib, but that's going to be... I'll have so much more room in a human-sized bed. This is great.

As far as practicality goes, the Wyoming King looks like that. Look how much bigger the crib baby is than the baby on the Wyoming King. None of this is making sense. It's not tracking for me. I don't know. I'm not sure. I get that Big's fun and everything.

We slept in a queen for the first 20 years we were together. Dude, no. I liked it. I had an ex-girlfriend with a queen. Most girls have queens. I was like, we got to get you a new bed.

I was like, guess what you're getting for your birthday? A king-sized bed. A king-sized bed for me to fuck you in. Pick one out, and I'll pay for it, and I'll help put it in here. That's what we did because I couldn't stand to be a queen size bet because I want to be able to like I don't know

getting like the fetal position and not worry that my heels are going to clack against her knees or I want to make I want to be able to roll over a little bit not elbow her elbow I don't know I want a little bit more room the Alaska King seems definitely like overkill I can't even picture that in the room

because I know that King is already... Yeah, that's just arrogant. The Wyoming King, I'm literally going to do. How many feet is 108? 96 is 8 feet, right? So it must be 9 by 9. So it's a 9 by 9

foot. Alright, so you've got to really commit to your room being the bedroom with of course asking king like no i was meaning like there's not going to be any other room in there in a normal size bedroom for a nine foot by nine foot bed in a normal house yeah so i i mean my bedroom's really big um i don't know how big it is but it's 30 feet i don't know like it's big and the ceilings are like 20 feet tall like it would fit that bed so i'm like should i yeah you're not if you were still in the queen i would be like furious i used to like it though queen-sized bed so she can't get far away and we had a king size comforter so we could like both steal the covers

and do whatever you wanted with the covers i'm currently doing the doing the like one step above that i guess i've got the king size bed but with the the comforter from the size up so that it's extra wide so no one can steal all the covers because there's literally an extra couple feet so but i do want that bigger bed because I didn't usually sleep in bed with two grown ass dogs and I can't even imagine the Great Dane situation because my dog is like an average sized dog. He's leggy

but he's probably 60 pounds. A 150 pound dog is something I can't even imagine. He's so long. His feet are so long. Does he ever just kick you in the face or hit you with the claws like I'm not in the face

no but he runs in his sleep and stuff sometimes wakes us up that's hilarious I've also so all right so here's the alternative to the dog and I'm seriously I guess kind of considering that because my girlfriend is into it the caliph

the main coon cats are you familiar with those kind of considering that because my girlfriend is into it. The Maine Coon cats. Are you familiar with those? No, I was only expecting a pig thing, but carry on. Fuck that. I don't want that. Look, she'd be down for a pig or a goat or anything, but I don't want livestock shitting in my house, so fuck all that. But this cat,

these Maine Coon cats, they're very expensive. I guess based on how much they're huge, they're gigantic they're like 35 pound cats and they're not fat they're athletic small

lynxes basically so that's a kid holding one obviously but you're not getting a ton of forced perspective or tomfoolery here. It's genuinely a really big fucking cat. But why would you add a cat to the mix? Can you show the picture with the woman, Karen?

Because these cats, personality-wise, are quite a bit closer to dogs. They'll fetch. They'll go on walks on leashes and stuff. And they're just beautiful. They genuinely are beautiful. That one in particular is so beautiful. There's a little forced perspective, but they're big, they're beautiful, they're just beautiful. They genuinely are beautiful. That one in particular is so beautiful. There's a little forced perspective,

but they're big, they're beautiful, they're neat. I like them. Are they nice? When I hear it's a regular cat, it's just a cat. Oh my, alright, that looks frightening. I don't like that one. I don't like that a bit. Is that a guy in a costume?

What the fuck is going on here? Why is it fucking mean mugging me? I feel like we're ready to go right now. All right. You want that thing with those eyes walking around your house scaring the wonderful dog Toby? I'd smoke that fucker.

It's going to bully the shit out of Toby. I would lead that fucker into the oven the first night and turn the gas on. That thing's scary. That's a reincarnated human and not a nice one. If that cat tried to bully Toby, I'm 100% sure Kyle would make that a 2v1

right away. No cats bullying Toby. Now you both need to go get shots at the doctor. See, Toby's only $ cat scratches see toby's only 800 but most of those main coons seem to be like a 1500 to a 5000 purchase well in the grand scheme of things now but i'm just saying well i'm not gonna snap his neck like he's not disposable but he's getting it he's he's gonna win you know. Toby will win the fight. You can get like two of those husky palms or whatever for that price, right?

We'll see. Then you have the maintenance and the upkeep of two husky palms and the annoyance. I think of this guy as the least annoying thing. He's going to be all aloof and shit up on a banister looking over us. He's going you know litter boxing it up those things don't poop and pee in the house like like i mean they do but he's a litter box and it's not a thing it's not a problem so i'm considering those a little bit i saw some gray ones that looked i don't know like something out of harry potter like something out of a

fantasy novel and and kind of want one of those house is gonna smell like cats you know what novel and and kind of want one of those your house is gonna smell like cats you know what that's exactly what i'm thinking that if kyle gets a cat i look forward to seeing the litter box he chooses i bet it has an iphone app look at that babushka holding this thing my gosh it looks like it's stolen her soul that is the cat of my life force how much eight so you can find them for fifteen hundred dollars and you get that cat um again i think i don't know that that's not some sort of photoshop nonsense i would advise going to like the the site you purchase them on because they don't have any reason to to get extra clicks they're just selling cats and there's it's like everything else there's different levels to the to these mancoon cats there's different bloodlines and there's it's like everything else there's different levels to the to these mancoon cats

there's different bloodlines and there's preferred eye uh coloration and obviously fur coloration and there's some that are more short-haired it seems so the really desirable ones are like really desirable dogs up three five eight thousand crazy shit but know, I like the idea that like one cool thing is what someone who shows a cat really values might not line up with what you really value. You know, you're are probably care about personality paramount size second. So it looks cool. I color,

if you're like me, a hundred percent flexible on that. So if that makes the cat cheaper, I'll take the brown eyes one of the things that i really wanted in a dog is pretty eyes uh that that is one of my that is in my top three of important things is that they have nine eyes if they're first of all if they're cross-eyed not even interested uh and if they have extra pretty eyes that really puts them up a few levels same thing same with girls honestly like i was gonna ask that if a girl has these really light blue eyes i'm super into that green

eyes super into that look if you got brown eyes i i i'm still gonna think you're beautiful i'm just saying like like oh look at that that's a neat thing that's a cool thing i agree it's a cool thing although if i look at eyes closely, I've never seen human eyes that I didn't think were beautiful. Sure. They're all well done. I have these beautiful honey almond eyes. You just get lost in them.

I do. Do you have honey almond eyes? Is that a nice way to say brown? With flecks of green, yes. With flecks of green. That's hazel. I have hazel eyes. It says so on my license. That's right. It says so on green, yes. With flecks of green. That's hazel. I have hazel eyes. It says so on my license. That's right.

It says so on mine, too. It also says I'm 6'4". Really? Fuck no. Although, that would be kind of funny. I do think... That would be funny. Like, when you get your driver's license done

and make it silly, I do think that prank is funny. Who was it that shaved their head or did a whole disguise? Murr from Impractical Jokers. Bring up the Murr Impractical Jokers licenses and passport. His punishment was to make

his driver's license photo look nothing like what his day-to-day self looks like. So much so that it wouldn't work as ID. They made him get his passport photo taken one season as a punishment, wearing like a wig of fake hair and being all hairy and ridiculous.

And the next season, no hair at all for his license. And so he was like, yeah, even at airports, like it's not working. He looks like a fucking murderer in that. I wish there was a side by side of that with his. There you go. Yeah, that's why it doesn't work, because his passport, they made him look like that. And that wig, the punishment he had for that wig,

that's not a wig. That's another cast member's hair that they shaved off and made into a wig, and so he has to wear his buddy's hair for a year. I'm going to rewatch some Impractical Jokers. That is such a fucking good show. I keep waiting for the new season that doesn't have the one Joe

in it. I haven't seen it yet. I don't know how they're going to do it without Joe. I wanted you to finish your thought, but Joe was great to the show. It's going to suck without him. They bring in a guest star every week to replace him, which is what you always do when you lose someone beloved. It's a good transition period.

Hopefully he comes back. I was going to say, I think you wrote in the chat the other day that you'd been reading horror books or something. Yeah. As we lead into the spooky month of October, what have you been reading? I went to this discount bookstore probably a month ago and was just poking around. And within picking two books out, I was like, oh my God,

these are like thousand page books for $4.99. And so I bought a bunch of them. I got the Necronomicon which is the compilation of hp lovecraft's horror short stories and i've read most of that now it's very good mostly i've read a lot of that anthology have you yeah of course i'm yeah i'm a big fan of hp lovecraft as most well yeah i don't read too much about him or you might like him less um You know, I know I know I know his cat's name. If if you know that lore about him. But yeah, that was or no, it was. Yeah, that was him. That was him who named his cat the N word.

I'm pretty sure that, you know, that flew in the 20s. Wings of Redemption. Also, one of my favorite soundboard clips. It's wings. It's not it's it's not altered it's just wings saying i had a dog named ninja and it's like yeah jesus dude it's like you were born in the late 80s wings like that's not or mid 80s i don't fucking know but yeah anyway yeah the necronomicon i've been reading that that's a really good one um but

like i won't i won't say say it's all a banger or anything because like any anthology book, there's big wins, big where you're at the end of that short story and you're like, fuck, I wish this was fleshed out more. I wish there were 500 more pages of this story. And then there are other ones where you get 15 pages into the 30-page short story

and you're like, this one just isn't, isn't doing it for me. And then you just flip to the next one and go there. King has those. I read like, yeah, I don't know. One of those anthologies with just tons of stories. I have a bunch of,

or I bought a couple, um, giant books that were, uh, sci-fi anthology. And like, I don't have nearly as much experience reading sci-fi as i do fantasy and horror and so i've been doing that more like like just before bed like i'll read a few of those

it's just called like like the their compilation books from like the like 2000 like 1998 like and it's a bunch of uh i just say they're older books because i got i don't even know what you would call them it's just like the best sci-fi you know of 1998 or whatever and it's like 1200 pages of short stories and what i found with sci-fi is that even more with even more than horror or maybe it's just i enjoy that genre not as much as horror is like real early in stories you'll be like oh this is just stupid like this is really bad. But then the chasm is so great. There's other sci-fi ones where you're reading and you're, like, pissed that it ends.

Where you're like, fuck, that premise was so, so good. I wish this author, like, fleshed it out further instead of kind of leaving a cliffhanger. Some sci-fi books have me going at, like, if my brain was an engine, it's maxed out. I'm redlining to keep up with this fucking book. Like, wait a minute. I need the visual,

like three body problem. Did that a lot to me? Um, and I kind of like that. I kind of like trailer for that. So, Oh yeah. So anyway,

I like a book that makes me work at it. Yeah, I've got this. I've got a thriller anthology book. It's called Thriller, I think. And it's maybe Stephen King edited it or some like well-known author edited it. And it's got a bunch of like thriller style stories in there i just i don't know why i just saw they had a bunch of anthology style books available and so i bought like nine of them and it was only like like 50 60 bucks for yeah probably found a website thousand pages i found a website a while back where you could just buy boxes of books and you could pick the genre you wanted to purchase and every time i try to like wait for them to restock,

they're sold out of sci-fi and fantasy. And it's just like, oh, do you want 25 pounds of romance novels? It's like, fuck you. No, I want 25 pounds of sci-fi and fantasy. That's how they sell them, like by the pound. You just get a crate full of books. I would do that. I would definitely do that.

I wanted it. But you know what it'd be? It'd be like that time I bought all those magic cards oh yeah they're just all trash there's a lot of land in here oh my god we're never gonna run out of land it was so i i think i bought do a horror box you like horror i i think that was always sold out too i should check again it's like three months in a row that they didn't restock. But I have a lot of books here that I haven't read. I'll send you a picture later of the library is a strong word of the book pile.

Not even a shelf, just a pile. Well, the shelf's full. And then the second shelf, I've got two or three shelves full um of a bunch of stuff but a lot of it's fantasy and a lot of it i haven't gotten to but i do like i like the old stuff i like the um i like jules verne a lot and i really like the um uh all the cthulhu stuff i i i really like that and but then the more I learned about your boy, he's a real fuck. He's like the OG incel.

That guy was a fucking loser. Lovecraft? Who cares as long as it's a good story. Fair enough. As long as it's a good story. Well, oh, Slush Puppy's going to join. Oh, no, he's not. Well. Hope you guys enjoyed the show i know i did check out all of our wonderful sponsors

down below there's many of them it's the time to join the patreon it's the end of the month you roll right into october for the spooky month of patreon which is exactly like every other month but we have costumes to do. We do have costumes to do. Yes. I love doing the costumes. Yeah. I'd like to see one where it looks like your head is off your shoulders, but over here offset with some sort of tomfool

trickery. Maybe we'll do a theme this year. I gotta start thinking. I like when we surprise each other. I enjoy that. As much as a theme would be fun, I enjoy the surprise of when woody showed up with those short shorts that was one of my better ones dangle is your best costume it's one of the best costumes i've ever seen from someone don't end it yet is there a picture of me as dangle somewhere on the internet i bet there there is. That was incredible. That Dangle blew everything else out of the water.

Yes. Oh my. This is the first picture I found that I don't want to share. Dress up like that. You're like, oh, what about that one? Now, I'm not suggesting that, like just a thought, someone could dress up as that guy with the huge ass Now, I'm not suggesting that just a thought, someone could dress up as that guy with the huge ass

that we keep laughing about that does all the pranks and stuff. He's got the big fake ass under his shorts. I don't know what's about to happen. Those are short shorts. Looks like he's cranking out some pull-ups here on stream. Alright. I am not enjoying that.

This is just a bad... that Zach please stop that was a good look that was a good look well I guess that's the show now PKA 667