Painkiller Already - PKA 669: Disney Wedgie Lawsuit, Taylor’s Trivia, Kyle’s Fog Machine
Episode Date: October 14, 2023...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
pka 669 no guess taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com
blue chew and of course lock and load wonderful product been out for a while now go read the
reviews excellent reviews all for good reason how are you boys doing just the three of us
hanging out i was in my desk i just sat here and took it like 20 minutes ago and I'm like, Brian, I take it on this show.
Anyway.
I was going to say
I've been goofing around with my Halloween stuff.
I got my fog machine out
but I'm a little worried it's going to give me cancer.
Why are you running it in your house so much?
You keep sending us pictures where
you can't walk around Kyle's house right now.
It's a laughable amount.
We get it. You vape.
It's absurd. I ordered a gallon of something called swamp juice that's like uh
low-lying extra thick carnival fog and i've been fogging my house out occasionally and just just
like i don't know i think it's really fun i'll tell you i'll be honest when i was a kid we used
to do this thing and the whole point of it was to teach you how to get out of your home if it ever catches on fire.
And then they build this little rig on the back of a truck or maybe a trailer.
And the little kids go in it and they pump that fog in and you learn that you get down and crawl under the smoke.
You learn that.
And I just thought it was the most fun thing ever.
I'm supposed to be learning.
I'm just like, oh, can I do it again?
And I was like, it's not like it's not the tilt-a-whirl it's you know i'm like four but i
still have that memory so i get giddy when i when i fogged the whole fucking house out i had this
room so fogged up when i came into the call zach was like oh your camera oh i can barely see you
but i was worried it was giving me cancer as I sat here because I could I was getting nauseous and I'm still a little nauseous from sitting in this room so full of fog.
Does it say not to use it in bedrooms?
I'll be honest.
I didn't read anything.
I didn't even attach the handle to the machine.
I just poured the shit in and turned it on and filled the house up with it.
It was a unbelievable amount of fog when I hopped into the call and i saw i thought
there was something wrong with his lighting yeah there's something very foggy like cataracts over
your lens i'll do it again in a little while when i'm not so sick to my stomach from sitting in the
fog for too long well don't do it again if it's making you sick it's silly i got a bunch of spider
webs you say taylor you got no counter for that. I bet it says in big red letters on your swamp juice.
Not for indoor use.
Not for indoor use.
Yeah.
Not for a 10 by 12 bedroom podcast recording studio.
Imagine if we filled it up with like HHC goo.
Just go in there.
And just filled the whole room up with it.
That would get you fucked up.
I think that would kill me.
You'd just pass out
and you'd not wake up
until the fog machine ran out of HHC
juice.
Days later.
Days later you're waking up starving.
Yeah, so I'm kind of excited for Halloween.
I'm going to do some shit.
The Swamp Juice webpage.
They're like, great for use outdoors.
Oh, is that all that they're talking?
I mean, is water not good enough?
Can you not just use water?
No, no, no.
It's a chemical.
It's some sort of like...
No, I mean like, can you not just put water in it
and get like that kind of fog?
Like a humidifier?
Well, no, no.
That would be a whole different thing.
Well, yeah, it would just get...
Yeah, very much so.
That would just be a mist of steam.
So you don't want to steam your house.
The swamp dude is bragging about its extremely long hang time.
That's when I got it.
Yeah.
So I'm guessing Carter couldn't make that.
Yeah.
It looked like my house was burning down because I fogged the whole house.
And then I realized I'd made a huge mistake and I started opening all the windows to the house.
But then the smoke is just roiling out.
Wait, you're capable of fogging your entire home?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm telling you this
thing is like i'll see the video it's across the room right now but it's it it's it puts out a lot
of fog really quickly it's it's it's yeah and i've read this swamp juice stuff it's for like
ice rinks yeah yeah it might be a little overpowered yeah this is for like halftime
shows and shit and you're just
like that did you did you not see the video that he sent to us no i've been uh fish tanking all
day yeah you can see just like almost solid beams of light coming through there's so much
particulate in the air like you'd have to wave your hand to to clear a path to breathe oh i see
it now it's eight seconds, right?
Like you'll be claustrophobic.
I was sitting in this room and I couldn't see the walls and the walls are almost,
you can see about four feet in front of you.
You got about four feet of vision.
So it's really fun.
It's my childhood all over again.
I'm probably going to gas the whole house later,
get on my hands and knees and sneak out.
It's going to be great.
It does say outdoors like six times on this page
i'm gonna learn he's the one you like yeah yeah i mean it's never man for himself the house is on
fire i feel sick and scared just like i wouldn't a real haunted house i feel the sick part i feel
the sick part right now there's too much fog for me and you're gonna be i want to talk for all those
kids to enjoy yeah it's gonna i think
halloween falls on maybe a saturday which never happened when i was a kid by the way it was always
a week a school that's cool that's mathematically possible no you wouldn't think so in my first 21
years never had a 21 years you got no all right so 1990 to 2002 was a string of wednesdays
no you have a window as a kid for an actual good Halloween.
What's the window?
You're old enough to go out on your own without parent supervision.
What was that age?
I would say between the ages of like 12 and 14 is your window to have your best Halloween.
Because you're not old enough to get in any real trouble yet.
So you can go and be mischievous,
mischievous,
but you're still young enough
to crave fucking Snickers
and to go door to door for them
to think that's cool
and dressing up and everything.
Like at 14,
you're at the appropriate age
to egg a house,
eat some Almond Joy
and finger pussy.
Like that's the best night ever.
The ultimate childhood triad.
Oh my God, yeah. The perfect day for a 14 year old kyle i can see woody i've swayed finger pop yeah i'm actually
trying to get two or three good halloween first time i touched a girl downstairs i'm i don't know
if i was 14 or 15 it was something like that that's a good time was it on how was it halloween
no it definitely wasn't halloween oh damn that sucks could have
been a great how was the sophomore it was 15 i think yeah i remember i didn't i didn't really
do halloween once high school rolled around you did did you do any halloween stuff in high school
like it would be like a party at a friend's house but no one was treating even as early
as like freshman year halloween parties in high school i don't maybe as a freshman i my last year trick-or-treating ever i got like a last second
call i hadn't planned on going so i threw on a backpack and said i was a student like for halloween
people hated that as an adult i would like as an adult homeowner now who's doling out the candy i would shut that
right down some kid shows up with like a this is my costume shirt not a lick of can i throw apples
at that kid my friend here's a multivitamin
an extra piece of candy to whoever hits that freeloader with an apple.
I've got my own little militia.
That's a thing that's fallen by the wayside, fucking bobbing for apples.
That's never coming back, right?
We're never going to take a room temperature barrel of water,
throw a bunch of unwashed produce into it,
and then jam our heads in, gurgling and burbling trying to
snatch one out with our teeth.
Take that to the next level. Hear me out.
You've got apples, but
they're not bobbing in water anymore.
It's heated caramel.
Not so much that it burns you, but just
warm caramel. Apples
you put your face in and
it's in your hair, on your
forehead. Come on on this is brilliant
it would have to be so hot
all right dude so here's the thing you got to get your face in the caramel and then immediately
in the ice water or it's good we call it candy dipping we can't do like a caramel-ish warm dipping.
They call it candy dipping.
Yeah, Woody won't be coming back to the show.
He's in jail for that molten caramel debacle.
27 years after the incident.
Was that an acid attack?
Was that Palestine?
No, it was Woody and his caramel.
I just realized
when I do my fake reporter voice,
I hold an imaginary microphone instead of using the one
well you should but yeah uh bobbing for apples never coming back as far as i know it was never
a thing that might be another myth that was a thing no i remember doing that okay never seen
it never seen it i did i never thought about how kind of gross that was
because I didn't do it except when I was a child until now.
The way it was was like you didn't bob to get an apple for a treat.
It was like I remember this.
I think it was like a church event when I was like seven years old or something.
They would have like multiple of them,
and then you would compete against another kid,
and whoever got the most apples out got some prize or candy.
It was never like, oh, I want apples so bad because they had to incentive it because like all the other booths and places that had candy.
Obviously, back in the day, it was definitely like, and you get an apple, young boy.
Oh, thank you, sir.
Thank you.
You have to get an apple.
How gross bobbing for apples is and sometimes that
like lights a little light bulb in my head that i must be way grosser than average i'm like bobbing
for apples is good i do grosser shit than that every day i'll do grosser shit right now today
i was walking in my house and on the floor i I saw that little, you know, the flossing tool where it's like a plastic thing with a little half inch of floss.
And I was like, all right, there's some trash on the floor.
I need to pick this up.
And I was like, you know, I can go for a little flossing.
Let's get those bottom fronts before we throw this away.
I don't know who used it first or how it even got on the floor.
Was the string still taut?
It was.
It looked pretty fresh.
You're not as bad as me then.
I would use it if the string was gone.
Sometimes I'll get something in my tooth
and I'll dig in the couch cushions
because I know that one of them probably fell in there long ago.
I'll be like, yep, found it.
I told you there's always one in there.
That's completely different than sharing a big gargle bucket with a bunch of teenagers.
That is true.
I hear you with the, I mean, yeah.
It reminds me of the movie The 13th Warrior.
So the movie The 13th Warrior is about a bunch of Vikings going on a quest,
and they pick up a Muslim guy along the way an arabic guy because
the prophecy says we need 13 one who doesn't speak like us or something and they're like it's you and
he's like i don't want to go and they're like tough shit and so antonio banderas becomes a
viking goes on their journey with them but they do this thing if i remember correctly when they
go into the the house where they've got a bowl of water and they're all just just blowing their
nose in it and fucking just doing awful shit to it
because that's just what we do.
It was just terrible.
Just terrible.
They're using the same
wash bowl and just making it as awful as possible.
This thought process I
had was like, dude, why
is bobbing for apples gross?
Everybody eats ass now.
And I'm like, wait a minute. That makes bobbing for apples
grosser. It does.
But I don't think the demos
there line up at all.
I don't think the ass-eating group
is bobbing for apples.
That does sound like
those Venn diagrams.
Both eyes bobbing for apples.
I didn't even think about that.
You got the clap in your eye
because you had to get that Granny Smith.
I would use salty water
to be really off-putting to everyone.
You ruined the apples also.
Get in there.
No, I wouldn't bob for apples.
You like apples?
I don't like apples.
I mean, I don't hate apples but i'm
certainly not going to stick my head into a bucket of water to procure one a tardy green apple can be
good but mostly i think apples are something you suffer with because you don't want something more
fattening yeah it's a big who cares fruit like even in the world of fruit i would never choose
it i'll choose a banana over an apple any of the berry the whole berry family beats out apples It's a big who cares fruit. Even in the world of fruit, I would never choose it.
I'll choose a banana over an apple.
Any of the berry.
The whole berry family beats out apples.
You know the red delicious apple?
I've come to realize that strawberries don't taste as good as you think they do.
Yeah.
You saw that on Reddit too, maybe.
Oh, yeah.
And I'm like, that dude's right.
Strawberries look like a freaking primo fruit like a delicious
candy snack yeah but they're they're not that tasty they're good i think that's i think he's
eating like walmart strawberries maybe but you go somewhere the reasons why here the reasons why
it's two things one we we know about sugar we've had sugar before so strawberries and apples are
never going to live up but the other thing, like the Red Delicious apple hasn't been bred to be more delicious.
It's been bred to be more red because they're just selling them off shelves.
And once you've got it, you've got it.
So Red Delicious apples used to taste a lot better, but they kept tinkering with the Red
Delicious apple plants.
No, no.
Make it last longer.
Make it shinier.
Make it a darker red.
Now they don't taste as good as they used to. They don taste like they used to taste those are the worst apples like they're a joke of
an apple i assume even among apple lovers like that's that's well known red delicious are the
like good looking you put them out on the table for decoration apples but you bite into it and
it's mealy that's a vapid blonde horrible enjoying your an apple. I'm just enjoying your integration.
Red Delicious can go fuck itself, I'll tell you.
They can. They're the worst apples.
I don't like the really sour ones either.
What are the sweet ones? The Macintosh Man?
Granny Smith is the tart green apple.
That's the one I like.
Not that one.
What's the sweet one?
Red Delicious is supposed to be sweet.
There's something above that that I'm spacing out on right now there's a apple talk i can't remember
the other i haven't had an apple in forever gala those are the good apples thank you zach on the
ball as always with a gala apple there's a honey crisp yeah what would you bob for though obviously
no one wants an apple but what if you're at a party, could I throw in a
bucket of tepid water that
you would stick your head in there?
Bob for $20 bills.
Yeah, something like that.
Little balls that had money stuck in them
like the same way you do...
I was trying to make it as disgusting as possible.
Just a soup with random cash.
Yeah, a soup with random...
You got kids dying because you're doing the silver with random you got like kids dying because you're
doing the silver dollar bob they're all at the bottom they're drowning trying to pick it up with
their teeth i don't know what i would or what i would bob for becoming an adult makes is like
you no longer have to bob for anything you know this would be so you guys might not know but water
like compresses the view so if you look through four feet of water, it kind of looks like you can easily touch, but you can't.
Yeah.
That might make like a carnival bobbing scam kind of fun.
You know, put like silver dollars on the bottom, but it's really three and a half feet deep.
Hold my people.
You can, but you might not have expected to go to your belly.
Hold my feet, honey.
What they're going to bank on is that like an adult isn't going to make an absolute ass of himself.
His entire torso soaking wet for 350.
And then you would call their bluff.
I'm showing up with goggles and a snorkel.
Fuck his ass.
You're not going to rip me off twice.
Fuck, here comes that guy in his 30s who's always taking us for a ride.
I want to do the thing where you hang on to the bar for $100
because I know the thumb grip and I can hold for a long time anyway.
I saw one where the guy didn't want to lose,
so he pulled the dude off.
And he's like, what the fuck?
What are you doing?
The video cut short.
Like it looked like he was going to fight about it or something.
Oh,
there were two guys,
right?
There was like muscle.
So one guy pulled the hanger off and the hanger guy was like,
what the fuck?
I've just been robbed.
He was clearly going to make it.
And then big dude defended the puller and hanger was like,
now he's to be one and it sucked.
Yeah.
No justice in this world.
Really?
That's the worst thing that's happened in the last two months.
100%.
I did that happen in the last two months.
I saw the video.
I saw a video in the last two months.
How the hell are you guys seeing these obscure videos?
Kyle and I spend a lot of time on Reddit.
You don't use Reddit. i like to know what's
going on everywhere on the planet throughout the day so you just sit that thing on our all and then
you go top hour and then you just keep refreshing and then you read 50 to 250 posts an hour i have
hundreds of subreddits that i subscribe to so i can just hit space bar and it's like ukrainian news israeli news boobs then like you know sports
news ukraine news pussy and i'm just like this is my favorite website so you're just scrolling down
and you're like oh hey yeah this is depressing i need to see a picture of a perfect pussy what do you know here's the perfect he's bringing his toys to his dinner ball he wants them to eat too
dead people
dead people oh look at him
you guys are like clockwork oranging yourselves
but for the better i need to rewatch that it's been a long time i watched a documentary about it
recently it was called like leftism run wild the world of a clockwork work orange
and uh and so i watched that but i the last time i watched clockwork orange i think i was 13
and it sickened me like it was like this is awful it's kind of they're just hurting people but to
hurt people because they enjoy hurting people that's that chance i got offended literally like
did they try to paint that as like what democrats want the world to be uh it's it's more like the the dystopia
that they're in is a is a leftist dystopia um it's it's not that they are themselves leftists
but um and he's been a while since i've seen it i only focus on the hype he called it hyper
violence is that what they said ultraviolence ultraviolence thank you yeah the ultraviolence
scenes are the ones that really burn into my mind. I don't remember the overarching plot all that much.
Yeah, there's a whole thing where they brainwash this sociopath criminal, psychopath criminal,
and they want to be able to say, we have the crime cure.
We've deprogrammed a person and made them one of us again.
And then they can stand on that to push their agenda.
You know, we've got this guy.
We did it.
And then it was funny, like right after I watched that,
Hillary Clinton was on the news talking about deprogramming MAGA Americans.
And it's like, bad verbiage, bitch.
You have a thesaurus.
You don't need a thesaurus, madam.
I've seen your resume, okay?
You picked that word, you cunt.
Like, tone it down a little bit.
Did she say camps?
Did she say something about camps?
Taylor did.
I wasn't sure if he was joking.
Oh, I don't know if she actually said camps.
Yeah, she said something about deprogramming.
And like Kyle said, the verbiage is a terrible choice.
Hillary, it seems like every time she talks, she hurts her cause.
Let someone else run with it.
She's the least likable person in America, and that's a feat.
We have a lot of unlikable people.
I'm not going to sit here and let you say that while Carole Baskin exists.
I'd rather hang out with Carole Baskin for a week than get lunch with Hillary Clinton.
All jokes aside, I thought Carole Baskin got a bad rap.
She didn't even murder her
husband it turned out right maybe yeah i don't think so she was based on what killed her based
on me kind of remembering something someone said dude i don't know he just disappeared but he like
regularly flew single engine planes over the ocean isn't that where he died am i wrong on that
no one knows where he went or what happened but without rehashing the greatest docudrama of 29 i tried to rewatch it i couldn't it wasn't good
just because everyone was so bored at the very beginning no no no i will not allow this i will
not allow this well you can't help it it was fucking gold the. Aptly timed. I agree. It was funny.
Dude, every episode blew you away with some more nonsense
and you were like, I have to see the next
episode because the craziest thing
would happen in episode three, but at the end
they'd be like, oh, by the way, here's a new
guy. He's crazier than anything you've ever
seen before. He's got a sex cult
of tiger hoes.
They call him doc ellis
oh and also this guy accidentally shot himself in the face watch boom click the next episode if you
want to see more than the fucking netflix logo rolls and you're like that happened a guy shot
himself accidentally and killed himself at the end of an episode on camera and you're like all
right well show me episode six dude because i can't stop at five. Was that accidental?
The gay lover of the Tiger King
who blew his head off?
It was. It's on film.
Was he playing with a pistol?
There's another guy there and you see
the camera's on the other guy.
So the other guy's looking at his friend
probably accidentally shoot himself
and kill himself.
And it's really awful because you just
see this guy be like oh no oh fuck because he just watched someone someone he knows yeah
accidentally too there was no like lead up or scary moment or like there's no apprehensive
art we're going in get ready it's just like we're fucking around and his face comes off or whatever. Fuck. So I stand by Tiger King as an incredible piece of media.
One of the like whatever you call that docudrama, I guess.
That was incredible.
Incredible.
And the characters.
The characters.
When you get to the sex slaves with no teeth and shit.
And you got like the glamour photos of them doing like muscle poses with their shitty tattoos.
Interviewing those bitches. Then you get that trans uh woman with no goddamn arm and she's like
cut it off i don't want you to get the bad press it's so crazy i don't want you to get the bad
press i'll just be a one-armed tiger trainer walking around your establishment like she knows
that that sub is gonna come in handy in her love life like i'm telling you like
like she she she's using that i've always said i would say i don't get my arm reattached really
you're gonna just let it you would kill yourself don't even let me ask you all right it so if it
went if it was like the left arm at the wrist and it was phallic enough i'd be like oh we're
on to something now you just get a circumcision tattooed around and my whole left arm would be a little opening in the tip yeah with veins and stuff and like
oh man i put that on my tender profile just me flexing my big cock arm
oh oh yeah you could say implants little ball sack implants. It's genius.
Yeah, but what about the 99% of the time
you're not fucking someone with your now tattooed dick arm?
You're going to look like an asshole at TGI Fridays.
I'm going to do everything I can to make it 98%.
That goes inside of like...
That'll go inside of a regular arm.
I'll have like multiple attachments to go of a regular arm. I'll have multiple attachments
to go over the penis arm.
That's got to be...
Jamie Lashley.
This is the first time in history
that I've seen people with missing limbs
actually put that shit on
and they can move the fingers
instead of just being static move things
with wires in it.
There's never been a better time to be
missing a limb if you're rich as shit because i imagine that stuff which limb would you miss
if you had to lose i'm gonna call it a foot left not not the i'm sorry not the
the distance of foot if you had to lose a foot of one of your limbs what would it be my left leg
for sure yeah get one of those blade legs they've already figured
that out yeah yeah i'm not convinced leg is the move like a left hand i need to know how nobody's
come close to this shit i don't care i've seen those claws and they're like here's 30 seconds
of somebody eating soup show me the rest of his life wipe your ass gimp i don't want to see that
shit that dude's always smelling like French onion.
Yeah, every day, all day.
He's got to clean that.
When he's done at the end of the day,
that $10,000 hand is filthy.
It's disgusting because he can't control that thing that well.
However, a foot, it just needs to support me.
All right, now I've seen some really good looking feet.
I see guys walking around and they're talking about yeah this and
that happening oh by the way and they just pull off a fake leg and you're like whoa you don't
have a limp it's like yeah you don't let now when you when you lose your leg i would definitely give
up my leg over over any of my hands oh my goodness i might do i might lose both feet before choosing
one hand because then now you're now you're a blade man.
You're probably taller.
I consider cutting
the right off.
I have the biggest
blades you can buy.
I'm bouncing around at 8'1".
I could have an NBA career
because the only thing
holding me back is my height.
I guess that's not allowed.
I guess that's not allowed. Your hops.
I guess that's not allowed in the NBA.
Blade legs or someone would have tried, right?
Air bud rules.
Yeah, no one's tried it yet, but there's no way it would.
I bet that they can't pivot as well as regular feet.
Actually, I bet they can't do anything as well as regular feet.
I saw some WNBA big ugly bitch explaining that.
That narrows it down.
I think maybe Shaq or maybe it was Tracy McGrady.
Tracy McGrady asked this big old NBA bitch,
like, why don't we lower your rim down to nine and a half feet?
That way there's going to be above the rim play in the game.
And not just a little, but a lot.
It's more exciting.
People love it.
Olly oops, slam dunks. play in the game and not just a little but a lot it's more exciting people love it ollie oops slam
dunks and she's just like the shittiest answer to it ever that's the most that's that that's the
worst question you could have asked me that's insulting this and that and the other and it's
like all right because like two of y'all can fucking dunk all right and nobody watches okay
you big ugly you're already using how about you play with the man's ball yeah yeah
you you play with your fucking baby ball that i i used in eighth grade why don't you play with
my ball if you're just as good as the men the women's free throw i think the percentage might
be as good or higher than the men but they play with a smaller ball i'm not impressed if the man
had that ball they'd never miss my favorite argument for um for what they need to
do with the wmba so that everybody gets paid the same is you you get rid of the wmba and you just
have the nba and anyone can play they're more than welcome to play that's what the nba is like the
the fucking hornets or whatever team isn't going to be like, well, she's incredible and would be a net positive to our squad,
but a woman? G'fall!
Like, no, if there was a world-beater woman out there,
she would be signed.
I often wonder about, like, the mystical...
Like, okay, okay, here.
Let's say, for example, that me or whatever,
some mystical person could lock down your best player, right?
I can't score one point a game.
I score, my stat line is like 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0.
But you don't get a point.
No one on earth can score against my defense.
How useful am I in the NBA?
Or alternatively, I can't miss a shot.
I literally, I can get blocked, but it's me, 50 years old,
not as athletic as I once was, plodding down the court.
I've got the cardio to play for 13 minutes,
but my shot is so good I can throw it off my own backboard and make it.
You know, like.
They would write a play.
They would make plays for the second option for sure,
where as soon as you're in in they can get the ball to you
maybe i don't they just always be covering you with our when would you not be covered when would
there not be a giant superman in front of you in your face right there there are i don't think that
happens in the nba who if they gave me a hundred shots i couldn't get one not blocked right like
they're that much better than me like Could they run screens for you, maybe?
Right?
That assumes that I can dribble past the screen effectively.
You can take five steps.
Yeah, that's true, actually.
They'd have to run screens,
and you'd have to take two big steps and get your shot off.
Maybe some hooks, some jump hooks, maybe, because you've got to get
a little bit higher because they're three feet
taller than you.
They might double team me.
I don't know if it takes a double team
to stop me from getting a shot off,
but if they do double team me, then someone's open.
Exactly.
You would be
kind of like Ovechkin,
where you have to be covered.
Like everyone at all times
has to be aware of your position on the court
because you're an imminent threat
if you get the ball and you're open.
And so just that attention being diverted
from the person they're supposed to be guarding
would probably be a net positive.
I'd probably, not on defense,
like you'd really struggle on defense
to block some six foot eight guy.
I feel like the other team would target me on defense to block some six foot eight guy i feel like the other
team would target me on defense right they would absolutely pass the ball to whoever i'm responsible
for oh yeah yeah and you wouldn't stop any of it right but am i still a net positive in my
oh that's the thing though you you don't play d you stay on your side of the court. You stay there.
You stay on their side of the court.
Or you stay like 30, 40 feet from the action on the wrong side of the court. Oh, that's genius.
Isn't that offside?
No.
You don't have to cross the half court in basketball.
You stay right over the line.
And as soon as we get the rebound, we dish it to Woody.
And if nobody's staying out there so that we can play 4v4 over here,
I just volleyball tap that shit in.
Instant three-point from Woody.
Every single time, because he's waiting in the corner
over there at midcourt for us to
shoot the ball out to him on the rebound.
Yeah, if I stay far enough away from
the play, they're going to have to do it
too, otherwise...
Boo!
Is this 50-year-old white man ruining the nba we're gonna talk about it more
during i do dumb shit like bounce it off the floor to score you know yeah yeah they just play
the fucking globetrotters music every time you touch it yeah i feel like there's so much about
basketball i don't know most of it but having someone who can make a shot every single time,
you can't not use that guy.
What if Woody could bounce it off his teammates?
And so part of their job was getting their heads in a place
where Woody could hit them in the head with a ball really hard,
and it would bounce into the goal.
And that was –
Every player just holding their head.
They're calling it the Woodworth maneuver.
He's just smashing.
The guys are doing like this
so he can hit him in the head.
You have Shaq and Charles Barkley
being like, this is not good for our sport.
This is not good for our game.
He's clearly made
some kind of a deal with the devil.
We have black magic
on the court.
There's some form of wizardry going on here.
Jack is a really interesting guy.
He is simultaneously an amazingly
great man. Tremendous acts
of charity and apparently many, many
more acts of charity in private
you've never heard of.
Also, I don't know
how many wives he's had at this point.
Really?
Yeah.
And he'll tell you straight up, like, yeah, the reason that I'm not married to her anymore,
I cheated on her a lot every time I could.
You cheated on her a lot every time you could.
That's honesty.
Yeah.
That bitch exploded like a broken condom.
And then, like, dude, do you know how he got his master's?
Have you heard this story? Was it not uh like an honorary one like most athletes get he had an honorary doctorate but his master's
was earned so this is what happened he um he would go to these meetings and by the way so i think he
left lsu early this is his bachelor's and uh he told his mom that he would graduate and his mom
sort of called him out.
He's like, Mom, I make $30 million a year. Do I really have to finish school? And she's like,
you'd be the first O'Neill to ever do it. He's like, that's going to be me. So he did it. He
went back to LSU in summers and got his undergrad degree. And then he's sitting in meetings,
call it with Nike or whatever. And they'd say, hey, Shaq, nice to meet you.
I love to watch you play.
And then they talk to his agent.
Look at him.
And Shaq's like, what, you think I don't speak business?
You think I'm not the guy that you're talking to in this?
He didn't like it.
So he wanted to get his master's degree or an MBA, I think, so that he would have the respect of the people
in the room and speak their language. So he calls up University of Phoenix and he's like, I want to
get an MBA. And they're like, cool, cool, cool. You can do it online. That's a thing that we do.
He goes, nah, nah, I'm not, not wired to succeed in an online class. I need to have a professor
come to me and teach me. And they said, well, we don't do that.
And he's like, well, I have money.
And they're like, well, you need to get a class size of 12.
So he found 12 friends who wanted an MBA,
paid all of their tuition and got the professor to come to him.
And now he and his 12 friends got their master's degrees in business.
And dude's legit.
I really like that.
They talked to Shaq. Yeah. Yeah. degrees in business and dude's legit now when i really like them around they talk to shack
yeah yeah smart jack bought this piece of paper say he real smart
like jack's so fucking rich he bought 12 of them yeah and i doubt they would have failed shack
i thought that too right he's paying for 30 tuition yeah exactly they're not going to be
like sorry shack but we're going to turn
this money pipe off.
Because you didn't use MLA
format. You see a 13th guy also playing
basketball? They call him the professor.
He's like
cheating on his own
MBA test.
What'd you get for three?
Yeah.
I like Shaq. I love Shaq. but uh three yeah i like shack i i yeah he seems does he not does he not have kids i feel like
he's at the age where he would have like his kids in the nba he does have my kids but i don't think
they're in the nba i wonder if it's a little bit like tyson's kids did you i think it's i think i'm
thinking of tyson's kids where they said they wanted to fight And he's like what?
You can't fight
If you want to be a good fighter
You have to be poor and hungry
You grew up sleeping in silk sheets
You'll never be a good fighter
Yeah I believe that
If I were a professional boxer
I wouldn't want my son to follow
In the boxing footsteps
Just because it's more dangerous.
But if I were a professional athlete like NHL or MLB or something, I would 100% be like, come on, you got the genes for it.
We're going.
We're pushing.
Kyle, what's the show you recommended for me?
Rome?
Roman?
Rome.
Okay.
So in Rome, there's a character.
His name is Octavius, and he's really smart.
It's kind of his whole thing.
He's the smartest guy in every room. when he's like a young teenager he's smarter
than the adults and they're teaching him to sword fight so that he can be a man and uh he's not
really taking to it but the guy teaching him polio is really cool and he's like patient with him
and he's like no no you'll get it you just need to practice more what he's saying is that you do this more you'll get stronger and in shape and improve at it and this is what he
said you know at best all i could ever be is a middling sword fighter and it's better not to be
a sword fighter than a middling sword fighter and i was like graveyards are full of middling
sword fighters did he say that too i missed that missed that part. I don't know. Somehow that
it's better to be
not a fighter than a middling one.
I'm like, oh, that's some fucking wisdom right there.
He's on to something.
That's Caesar Octavius.
He was a very smart guy.
He spent his childhood reading
about the stuff the Greeks had written.
I loved his
character.
Even later on when they recast him with what's his his name i can't think of that actor's name uh i don't know
if you've got you watched it all right all of them not all of it but i have made it to the next actor
you can spoil it it's ancient rome yeah it's roman history i was just wondering if he'd seen
that actor yet when that they recast him i think it's really good it's another one of those things
like um deadwood that also got cancelled because they just came out
a little bit before the golden age of TV or at least before
we were ready for what that was. Because those
are just really well produced, great stories and they're historical
dramas too, which I like. I like when you take something that happened, make it
a little bit fancier. Tell me about a whore who existed back then too she's there she's running
around getting getting dick at her like sauce up the story make it a little better for me
gladiator is a great example of that right like those are real romans and real shit that happened
mostly commodus was a was was really a roman emperor all that happened but you know you beef it up and make it amazing
that's what Ridley Scott's doing again
I don't got that dog let me shut the dog up
Ridley Scott
yeah I don't know my history
that well so I just assume it's all true
but
I am enjoying the show it's a blast
the first season
Kyle told me that
the show ends a little early so they have to rush and
sort of you know put a bow on the storyline what happens at the the first season ends how i expected
the whole storyline to end i'm like where are they even going from here and now i'm learning
yeah it's it's frustrating to watch like i almost don't want to re-watch that show because
it has so much potential.
Yeah, I saw it many years ago and I remember it being sick, like awesome.
But they just sprint to the finish.
Like there's you're like mad as it's going because you're like, oh, no, you're not going to flesh that out.
It's just going to.
Oh, the next season was a sprint.
The first season is fast.
And then the second season is like oh between scenes
nine years past like literally shit like that it's it's okay you're watching like god i wish
they could have fleshed that out more with whatever that main actor is uh the really dark
haired guy i don't know what his name is but he's great in the first season caesar travels back to rome okay big
spoiler uh you might be surprised rome yeah caesar goes to rome and uh but like i was like if this
was game of thrones they would take one or two years to sort of define the landscape the players
the travel from here to there you know that the war with the gauls and the people in his army they
would be building that up here by like episode three or so he's defeated an entire enemy race
and now he's home again he's yeah he's conquered all of the germanic and celtic peoples like that's
the part you'd love to see right just nothing but war and big battle scenes yeah but you could tell
they didn't have money for that they didn't have any money for any of the battle scenes oh you're right sometimes i
forget about like the so expensive yeah it's so expensive to do a battle scene because you can't
you don't want to do a shitty one you'd rather do something sort of like they did a shitty battle
that happened i forget which battle scene it was but but there's basically foggy photos where there's a guy like, and another guy, and then whatever.
Tall dude won.
And you're like, he just robbed me of entire war.
Now imagine a war.
Close your eyes with us.
It's incredible.
with us. It's incredible!
Huge feats of strength and heroism are happening all
around you as the camera
pans through the
turmoil. Okay, are you going to show us
any of this? Here's the blurry screen, blurry screen.
Sword shield, sword shield.
How can they do that? That's what early
Game of Thrones was like, too, though, if you remember
the Whispering Woods. We didn't see shit.
That's a huge battle where Jaime Lannister
cuts down some of the best swordsmen in the North by himself. We didn't see shit. That's a huge battle where Jaime Lannister cuts down some of
the best swordsmen in the North by himself.
We didn't see any of that shit. We saw
a little part where they hit him in the head and they catch him at the end.
And then the battle where
the big naval battle where they're
King's Landing, they cut to Tyrion's
face and show him react to
the shit that's happening. So they
didn't have the money there. That shit's so expensive
when you get into that CGI.
They blew all their money on the wildfire explosion.
So I was going to say before, my dog, my crazy,
Ridley Scott, who made Gladiator,
has now made Napoleon with Joaquin Phoenix as Napoleon.
It's like three and a half, four hours long or something.
And it'll be on, I'm sure they'll put it in theaters,
but then it'll be on i'm sure they'll put it in theaters but then
it'll be on apple tv some sometime thereafter uh the trailer looks awesome just huge epic scale
um napoleonic era battles in egypt russia the entire and there's this the the trailer i saw
he's like i have conquered the world I have got I went to the frozen
north of Russia and they
cut to a scene of him in Russia like shooting
cannons on people on the eyes to
the plains of the west to
the sands of the far
and it's great because Joaquin Phoenix
is doing kind of a French accent and he's good at
that I'm super hyped for
that movie that sounds sweet
I love those really i love that he's
not making any more alien shit ridley scott's done enough of that um and what else has he done
that i might know i've seen a gladiator gladiator um black i think he did black hawk down um and
i'm spacing out on some of the other stuff he did those who are good enough those are excellent movies i love those movies alien um and um i think he did prometheus and uh the um the other alien sequel prometheus
yeah he's he's real into the backstory the aliens and i feel and and i i don't know i'm not
yeah that should be like a left a mystery but that's neither here nor there. But I am really pumped for that Joaquin Phoenix movie.
I like him a lot.
I think next month.
I think November.
Pretty sure.
I haven't seen a movie in theaters in years.
And so maybe I'll make that one that I see.
I've thought on multiple occasions over the past couple of years,
like, I want to go see a movie.
That sounds like fun.
And then I Google what movies are on, and I'm like,'m like well i'm not gonna force myself to go to the movies to watch
something i'm not interested you know what part of it is part of it is is it is so nice to watch
at home i you know on a good tv for free um but i keep every now and then on reddit they're like
this guy tried to get into the seats he reserved.
Here's what happened.
And he's just getting assaulted by three or four people in a movie theater.
Because he wanted to sit in.
What kind of people?
The kind who sit in your reserved fucking seats and then think that they're being singled out when you ask them politely if they would please not sit in the seats
that you paid special for
and have reserved here on your phone.
See the little thing here?
It means I sit there.
Why are you killing me?
Colonialist, what?
It's like, see how on my phone
seats 16 and 17 are blue
and the rest of the seats are gray?
Wait, don't stab me.
If you get off the phone call,
you could look at yours and tell that
your seat's down there somewhere.
I feel like not many people go to the movies anymore.
The last one I went to was Joker
probably four years ago
when that came out.
And I saw it pretty close to the release date, I feel.
And even that was like... Yeah, that was the last movie i saw like a young man when that stupid fucking movie came
i think it was 2019 i haven't been out of the game too long it was a good movie but even that
theater was not overrated movie oh i thought it was really rotten tomatoes of joker with
joaquin phoenix i bet I bet. The sequel comes out soon.
Why was it terrible?
It was long and
droning. It was like there was one scene
played over and over again. It was one note
is a better description.
Just played for... Was that movie
four and a half hours long? I don't know.
It felt like five and a half hours. It was ridiculous.
A little lower than I expected.
Two hours and two minutes. What? That was only two hours? That movie felt like five and a half hours. It was ridiculous. A little lower than I expected. Two hours and two minutes.
What? That was only two hours?
That movie felt like...
I honestly thought it was going to be closer to three.
Not four.
You didn't enjoy how they
built the tension throughout it of
you're seeing him crack.
He's starting off in a very
bad place and then he
almost the vibration of it increases,
increases,
increases to the really cool culmination when he's like time.
How about another joke?
Murray,
Murray,
Murray,
what do you get when you cross?
And like he fucking blows De Niro's head off.
That was awesome.
Like that was such a good,
like I like slow burn movies though.
And I,
I enjoyed that the sequel
i'm even more excited for and i think i'm only going to be alone in that though so first of all
lady gaga will be harley quinn and second of all it'll be a musical i love music god damn it i love
musicals and here's my prediction taylor i don't the whole you know like any musical there's probably
gonna be like i don't need to have ever seen a musical to judge all of them you've never seen one now dude i'm the biggest joker hater i've ever talked
to ever spoken with the same thing um but but a musical joker lady gaga i'm so in i've did she do
that song like in the shallows is she the one that sings that to catch
a star is that the movie am I the only one that knows this no yeah I don't even know the movie
but I know um oh Zach says I'm right okay I've watched the like that scene where she sings the
song a hundred times okay yeah I like her music uh I love her voice.
Politically, she's whatever.
I'm excited to see her in this movie. I hope she can act well. Also, she gets naked for no apparent reason on the internet all the time.
Lady Gaga does?
She did a whole documentary where she's completely nude in her backyard with these crystals
or some shit. It's a little foggy in my memory i just remember looking at her vagina interesting in that regard to me
so i haven't seen her naked as much as kyle so i need to step up my game but um she used to wear
crazy outfits like she wore a dress that was entirely made of meat like just steaks hanging
and flopping around and um then she didn't know what she looked like
for years because she had masks on and crazy makeup like kiss almost you wore a lot of makeup
but a lot of makeup could be confused with someone who like you know just gets really dolled up no
this is like weird clown makeup and kids i like her music videos too they're really
dirty i like that um see her naked more um yeah it's been naked a lot i didn't oh i'm all over
this you want to know about it just you you ever want to see a celebrity naked you come to me
my friend i'll show you them like putting a cactus in their butthole or something like i got you
well i don't want to see that.
Yeah, you do.
I don't feel like that's fun for anyone.
Not even the cactus.
Not even the cactus is having fun being crammed into a pussy on a photo shoot there.
Holy smokes.
Yeah, she's just got her pussy out.
Just not even doing that little coy.
There's not a stuffed animal there.
It's just labia. Yeah, rock and roll. Yeah, I not a stuffed animal there it's just labia yeah rock and roll
yeah i'm a big fan of it and she's just an incredible singer and songwriter and uh piano
player too it's amazing on the piano i heard her do this live performance on stern one time and you
got to keep in mind she's just in their studio playing like they i mean they've got a little
sound studio but still it's not professionally produced and
it's like holy shit she can just make beautiful music whenever she wants it's like the highest
level imaginable i like her a lot i'm excited to see that movie the other um what's the other
musical i like the one with johnny depp johnny demon barter oh uh fucking um freddie woman barber Johnny Depp. Oh, fucking Freddie
Knife Fingers.
Sweeney Todd.
That's not a musical. Sweeney Todd is excellent.
And Johnny Depp plays
Little Priest?
Sweeney Todd.
Johnny Depp plays...
It's Tim Burton, so
you know what it looks like already.
Everything's really dark and sooty
and English.
He has a fucking weirdo.
Yeah, he is.
And Johnny Depp is basically a barber who kills and robs his customers.
He's murdering them and taking their money.
And the lady downstairs, who is Helena Bonham Carter, She's the girl from Fight Club.
She looks like Elaine. Marla.
A little. A little. Like
slutty Elaine. Dirty Elaine.
She runs a
pie shop downstairs. And so she's
taking the bodies, making pies.
And so he's singing
about cutting throats and she's singing about making people
pies. And the whole time he's actually
the good guy in the story, believe it it or not making people pies can mean two different
things yeah people making pies for people like making people pies yeah okay yeah that's why
that's why punctuation and grammar are important makes a good song because you can go sing along
with that no i like musicals i usually do i always like the musical episodes of tv shows
did you see the musical star trek episode where the klingons are like in sync fucking doing a
boy band thing yeah my wife and i watched it together yeah but i loved it that's so embarrassing
we were trying people could really sing like there's like a talk singing you fucking fruit
then like to really belt out a song and some of the actors and actresses were just
clearly musically talented and some you know i could relate to yeah no i love the klingons come
on they're like they're like a boy band like all dancing together dude they the klingons in this
episode so something happens that makes everyone sing.
All right.
They're forced to sing.
The people in the Federation are like, man, we got to figure out this singing thing.
It's making us share emotions and thoughts that we would like to keep private.
The Klingons are pissed.
They just want to fucking kill everyone because they're acting like fruits.
It makes them so angry.
Why have you done this to me?
Oh my God, really?
I'm going to kill you.
Again, they're in sync dancing together.
That really well-coordinated
bye-bye.
Star Trek is a million times better than Star Wars
at this point.
It is so much better. I like every kind of Star Trek. bye was that right it's a million times better than star wars at this point it is oh absolutely
yeah it's so much better i like every kind of star trek i'm enjoying lower deck i bet
we watch it every week as it comes out i'm enjoying you get it do you get called generations
do you get a lot of the references and lower decks because that's why i love it because it's
chock full of like the deep cut like nerdy references from 1991 i mean i think i do i've
watched like every piece of star trek ever but it's i don't know the ones i don't get so yeah
it feels like it's it's like rick and morty style zaniness and and and fun but in the star trek
universe but it's and it's the cutting edge of the timeline as it were.
So so like and when episode comes out
in that animated show,
it's like the newest year date
of any of the Star Trek.
So they'll reference stuff that happened.
They'll talk about Kirk.
They're like, ah, Scotty would have fixed it.
You know, Scotty could have.
Scotty could have fixed this.
No problem or whatever.
They'll mention, you know,
ah, the Riker maneuver.
Yeah, I see just lots of
lots of these inside jokes and references and i like star trek voyager is of course a series of
star trek and if you ever watch voyager everything is like zany and stupid and uh so they take the
voyager out of mothballs and they're gonna make a museum out of it well they're like this is a dumb solution to our giant problem but it's
so zany it kind of works for voyager and they use this like growing cheese to disable the computers
if i recall something like that uh dude i'm loving it my favorite part uh like one of the main
characters is stuck in the vents or whatever and he's trying to escape and he's all he's got muck
all over his face so it's like brown face almost and his hair standing up on him and he's trying to escape and he's all he's got muck all over his face so
it's like brown face almost and his hair standing up on him and he's got like rags tied all over
him because he's getting hot and when he steps out the Tom Paris character goes Kazon and that's
such a nerdy inside joke because the Kazon I know are like 80,000 light years away on the other side
of the galaxy they shouldn't be there.
But Tom Paris got thrown there in Voyager.
So he sees them as his number one enemy.
And the guy looks just like a Kazon.
So it's hilarious when he punches him and says Kazon.
So yeah, I really like all the Star Trek stuff.
I couldn't agree more.
The Star Wars stuff has lost me for the most part. It was so silly in Mandalorian for Grogu to be like,
nah, I'm not going to be a Jedi. I want to ride around
with a Mandalorian and sell toys instead.
That's exactly what happened.
Disney said, no, no, no, no. He can't
hang out with Luke Skywalker. We're not ready to make the Skywalker
TV show yet. CGI is not
there yet. Let's make the
Ahsoka show and let's make the Mandalorian
show. They'll do their own things.
They're not doing the Grogu. What's the fucking name skywalker show yet no isn't mark hamill like 70
we'll see they cg they make a full cgi mark hamill so they've got this young guy who looks a lot like
mark hamill and then they put cgi on him and they use mark hamill's voice so it's as close to mark hamill as you can get
it's close that kind of sucks because it's never going to look 100 right like if you're a big fan
i think they're getting close i think they got billions and they're working on it they want to
you don't want to do something okay okay yeah yeah like if they already have a guy who looks
exactly like him,
just kind of, you know.
Zach, can you find the side-by-side picture of young Mark Hamill
and the actor that they overlaid in The Mandalorian?
Because it is very close.
And when you see it, you'll be like, yeah, cast that guy.
But I like the technology.
I like the idea of minor little edits
and Mark Hamill's de-aged voice flowing out of that guy's CGI mouth on a young man's body
that can run and jump and play and make the best show possible.
But they're not even making that show.
This is a hypothetical show that I'd like to see.
What they've got is Mandalorian riding around being bitch-made
with his little green sex toy.
Those are different people.
Yeah, those are different people.
That's just the same.
No.
No way. They must those are different people. That's just the same... No. No way.
They must be CGI-ing.
The hair is the exact same down to the strand. Look at the pattern.
Like it...
Okay, that's the actual him
without the CGI.
Still close. Especially in the facial
structure. Like the hair...
If you ignore the hair and just look at like the
jaw... You know, close enough in the facial structure. If you ignore the hair and just look at the jaw.
You know,
close enough. Good looking fella nonetheless, right? My goodness.
Better looking than the original guy.
I don't know. On the right,
that's not a good look. He looks like he has
AIDS on the right.
This is like before and after.
Needs to get some sun.
Photoshopped over Mark Hamill's.
He looks exactly the same
there, but the face photoshopped.
I completely lost
patience with the Star Wars movies.
I guess I
just want a white dude
to be the guy for whatever reason.
Maybe that's racist
or shitty of me, but I
like the hero of the movie to look like
me it doesn't have to be but i didn't want to watch that little girl somehow learn to be a
jedi i didn't like ray from the start um i i found her to be annoying and then they had the black
stormtrooper guy and i thought that was fucking cool i was like good they're showing everybody
that this is the era when they're not clones, making it very clear with a black guy.
I loved that.
And then I'm like, maybe the black guy and the white girl are going to get together.
They're like, nah, we're not going to do that.
And they completely split them up in the second movie.
And then they turned Mark Hamill into a ghost.
And I know you didn't want to see an old ass Mark Hamill doing kung fu fighting.
I get that.
Frankly, I liked it when Yoda went Super Scion mode way back in the
third movie and was spinning around.
And if you had Mark Hamill sit
there cross-legged and made his
fucking
lightsaber go do its own thing.
What if he just sat there like this while his
lightsaber fought the shit out of the big
bad guy? Just operated it remotely?
What if he was just like, what if it was clear
he was sparing him? He's like, I've seen
you a few trips. I will
not kill you now, you fool.
Like Mark Hamill used all of his
good energy to
do that. But instead he showed up there
and just was a force ghost.
And he used so much of his life force
to make the force ghost to be a distraction
that he died. And they take him
away. And I don't want to lose Mark Hamill like that.
He went out like a bitch.
That does sound stupid.
I remember you complaining about it at the time.
He's the best pilot in the galaxy, so they say.
He's the most strongest with the Force in existence, so they say.
He's the greatest sword fighter ever, so they say.
And he goes out like a bitch.
Pick one of the three. Pick one of the three.
Pick one of the three.
I guess the Force thing is the Force ghost.
They're like, do you know what powers it took
to project himself to another planet?
And it's like, yeah, that does sound hard, but...
I guess whatever you tell me, because it's all made up.
How many goblins to take down a centaur?
That's what we're saying here i'll believe
whatever you say i i can't remember i don't know that if it turned out that ray was luke skyroff's
daughter or whatever but how great would it would have been if like the bad guy was about to kill
ray and luke's ghost showed up and was like get your hands up my daughter and like pulled him off
and like beat him up ray was dad at a baseball game. She was a bad guy, but didn't go bad.
I don't know.
Look, I agree.
The last three Star Wars weren't great.
I think I liked them more than you, but
I didn't love them.
I can't close my mind.
If a new Star Wars comes
out, I'd give it a try.
I'm curious. I want to see it.
Have you seen Ahsoka?
Who the hell is that i'm not curious why are they making a show about first of all every extra now you're
in the minority now you're in the minority sir because a lot of people know ahsoka from the
clone wars animated stuff a whole different age group way younger than us knows that because that
that was so popular she was an animated character from the Clone Wars, which takes place.
She's like Anakin Skywalker's Padawan learner when he was out in the Clone Wars,
like doing the fun shit that they, for some reason, didn't want to make a movie about.
There's a whole part in the Star Wars universe where the strongest characters that ever existed
are in a giant galactic war, flying from planet to planet, beating up a new big bad
on every planet,
solving huge problems. They chose to animate that, not make a movie about it because they
wanted more of the Senate, apparently. So she's in there and she starts off as an annoying child.
And over the years, she becomes your favorite character. It was true character progression.
I hated her. I was like, I hated every time an episode had her.
She learned
from her mistakes.
Her personality improved. You've got to stop being so shitty.
You're awful.
They were telling the character that.
She was like, yeah, I am being awful. She became a better person.
Now they've got Rosario Dawson
playing the adult version of her
riding around the galaxy fucking shit up.
Rosario dawson is
my favorite you want to talk about celebrity coochie look up rosario dawson on a little
frontal and you want the gift you want the gift is she in that like goofy tentacle headed set up
with her pussy out no no she's not but i imagine her that way i imagine her that way yeah rosario
dawson's one of my like top 10 like celebrity crushes of all time is that series
with her just like a total fan service
series because there's no way anyone who's not
into Star Wars already is going to be like oh
the tentacle bitch
like it's the big one right now it's the one
that's debuting right now and doing
well I think they might have ran all the episodes
out now but it's the latest and greatest of the
Star Wars TV shows
I watched what was the one where the guy like went's the latest and greatest of the star wars tv shows i watched what was the
one where the guy like went to the prison and made maybe the death star and or the tv show yeah i
watched like i watched a little of that i couldn't people said it was great and i it wasn't and or is
where the ewoks are from i think it is yeah no Endor. Fuck, now I think you're right about that.
I don't know. Look at me.
I believe it's Endor.
Well, in
any case, I wanted to talk
about Gen V while
we're on TVs and movies because
that's something that
you'll absolutely hate, Taylor, because it's more superheroes.
It's a boys
spinoff where it's the kids who are going to like the superhero school and they're ranked on their
power level and stuff so it's a bunch of college age kids with superpowers who are who are real
horny all the time and fighting each other and killing each other uh and their powers are um
at least one of the a couple of them have powers that are related to
like disorders so the one chick has a blood-based power so she has to cut herself right and it's
like i didn't really catch that that was like she's got to cut herself every time like a mental
disorder yeah yeah her period kills her parents in the first episode it's rad she gets her period
for the first time and her period blood goes ham and like takes her whole family wait the blood itself like
into a vapor of a poison or what uh sort of like picture like a really deadly uh whip you know she
can grab your foot and make you fall she can slice you uh that's disgusting i wouldn't let her in my
superheroes dude it is they talk about that the dude that. The dude's like, frankly, it's gross.
Like a couple of them say it's gross.
That's disgusting.
I also, it's not sexist.
I also wouldn't let a booger related guy in my.
Oh, it's not just period blood.
Like she cuts herself to get access to blood normally.
Cuts her palm typically.
But the first time it happens is when she gets her period as like a young girl.
Because her powers come on the same time she like you know womanhood does i suppose um so in any case that's her power the
other chick it's an eating disorder she has to vomit to get to get tiny or and she has to gorge
herself to get big this is a spoiler but i guess all the dudes are rapey as fuck
they'll be like sleep and you'll wake up with their dick in your face.
Sleep.
I didn't do what you thought.
It's Hogwarts with more fucking
and sexual assault.
So much assault.
I'm really digging the show.
I watched the episode as soon as I can.
The episode tonight?
It sounds just gross and dumb.
These are not disqualifying for me i can't believe i are you i feel like you're almost messing with me that there's a period related
super you're hung up on the period part that's he's a little mixed up that's the most interesting
thing you said so she goes to the bathroom uh and she realizes that she's bleeding and this is a new
thing for her she doesn't know what's up her mom's outside the door and she realizes that she's bleeding and this is a new thing for her.
She doesn't know what's up.
Her mom's outside the door knocking on it and she's like, don't come in.
Don't come in.
And it's well acted.
The mom is like, I figured this out.
Hey, it's okay.
This is normal.
This is natural.
And she enters the bathroom.
is natural and she enters the bathroom and then the new superpower chick immediately takes the blood sends it across the room like a bullet and kills her mom by accident yeah so then dad walks
in the room it's like floating in the air and sort of because she's scared and like the blood
defends her basically like like by instinct she uses the blood to basically kill her mother like
like but now a dead mom and we have a lot of blood in this
room so it is like a frag grenade when dad walks in and she just blood spurts everywhere and now
dad is like shards of glass in him and blood and all sorts of horribleness and she just murdered
her two parents and then they put her in an orphanage and she grew up there yeah uh and just
never had a period again and just i suppose like how does that how does
that work and i continue to have her people to gain control over her bloody powers again it wasn't
you gotta put that bitch on birth control she again she cuts her hand to make blood come out
to use it to do her power yeah you're a little hung up on the fact that the first time she did
it she just covered it through period blood but now she just you know you really fixate on one of these deals fixated on that one one little part well that's seems like a big part
there's a bi character a trans character but instead of just like identifying they actually
change to a boy and a girl like there's two actors now we're on board like this is how you know we're not bigots
now we're on board i don't as soon as i know this retarded show as soon as that happened i'd be like
see it would be perfectly fine for me to fuck the girl because because that she's not just
pretending to be a girl now there's a vagina her dna just changed there's that is a girl and then
she's like somebody boot and it's really it's that one again is they're trying to be woke but i feel
like they went the wrong direction they like showed their hand because this character is power
it's a super good fighter yeah yeah super strength and vulnerability but they also have the ability
to like morph from um i think it's
only a shapeshifter also i think but i think just like two people they could be i think in girl mode
maybe maybe um it's not as strong or something i think it goes to boy mode to fight and girl mode
to fuck but it goes back and forth it's fucked as a boy and as a girl uh but it's an asian person
she fucks a lot and does it well. It's an Asian person with traditional parents,
and they're like, this is our son.
And you can tell she's like, motherfucker, come on.
I'll be what I want to be when I want to be.
And it's like, well, dad's just trying to introduce you.
What's he supposed to say?
Like, you are a dude right now.
And then she's just like, now I'm a girl.
I'm a superhero.
It's like, but you still not doctor.
You're not in school. i'm a superhero it's like but you still not doctor the show does a nice job of making the boy and the girl the same person like
yeah they have really similar hairstyles the length it might be the same person
it might be the same person really maybe i don't know with the way technology works like they get
easily using the same actor and morphing them just a little bit and just having them stand up straight or some shit.
It's just a really...
It might be a really passable trans person
who's going back and forth
with their appearance.
But it could be two fucking actors because it really does look like a girl
and a guy.
I like that part too.
I think that's supposed to be super woke.
Is it Golden Boy?
Is that the person's name?
Yeah, that's Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. I think he's going to be super woke but i'm like is it golden boy is that the person's name yeah that's really your son i think he's gonna come back uh i saw him explode okay like days
i don't know how he heals and days later there was like a piece of him in the sidewalk
crack the camera like zoomed in on it like oh there, there's a little piece of him. And I'm like, for all I know, he's going to heal from that thing.
That would be cool because I wanted to see when I found out that that was Schwarzenegger's son.
I wanted to see him act.
It's not the one he had with the maid who's a hulk of a man.
It's one of his Maria Schreiber babies who's like just a handsome guy who does not look like Schwarzenegger.
And he's not bulky.
He's like a lean, like, I don't know, swimmer's body type type guy. does not look like Schwarzenegger, and he's not bulky.
He's like a lean, I don't know, swimmer's body type guy,
but he's super good looking, and you think he's going to be the main.
They're very serious about the rankings in this school,
and he's number one.
He's golden boy.
But yeah, this is the other fans character. They're not the same people, right?
Am I?
No, the foreheads.
Looks to me like the forehead's completely different,
but maybe the person's just tilting their head.
I can't tell anymore.
The world's a lie.
I'm growing more face blind by the year.
At this point, I have to watch television with Jackie.
And I'll be like, is that the same person?
Do you mean Jackie has to watch television with you?
She can watch television independently.
I'm the lost one.
That's hilarious. I'm the lost one I have you I need like a
I need a seeing eye dog
to tell me
in Rome Mark Antony
grows a beard
I'm lost I cannot
tell that's the person anymore
oh my god I didn't have any
idea
pull him up fill a picture of him up with a beard
without a beard it's so obviously
the same guy that might be a disorder like like you might do some flash cards face blindness is
a thing some people don't remember faces well at this point i'm like television camera man woman
dog or whatever trump says with his five words like i might be losing it I don't know you need to be color coded yeah anyway
is that that person
yeah I can't tell
without getting too deep into it
and while we're on the topic
of potential mental illness get that check
our friend
can you recognize this guy versus this guy
no well
good luck I meant to say Kyle I know you did Can you recognize this guy versus this guy? No? Well... Good luck.
I meant to say Kyle.
See? I know you did!
You had it!
See? This is proof positive.
He can't
keep us straight.
We look very different.
But yeah,
Gen V's really good. I like the
chick who vomits to get teeny
tiny uh she's this dude she just wants to get laid and feel good about herself because she's
like got low self-esteem and she's just to get a threesome and she gets this dude in her apartment
she's just trying to fuck this dude or dorm room or whatever and he's like could you make yourself
teeny tiny and she's like yeah and she has to go to the bathroom and vomit.
Nobody knows that she vomits to do this.
And it's real downer.
And she comes back and she's like itty bitty.
And she's like on his dick.
She's like hugging his dick.
Yeah, she's like hugging it.
Did he have to be like, I didn't think I had to spell this out.
Not this tiny.
No, he loves it.
I think that's what he wanted.
Yeah.
She's holding his dick.
She can't get her arms all the way around.
If I recall,
I could be wrong.
Yeah.
And she's like stomping his balls,
which is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's not something I would.
Is that the biggest cock you've ever seen,
baby?
She's like.
Proportionately.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's 10 times her size.
She's hugging it.
Yeah.
You should really.
But it's it's almost her fault for not telling everybody that she has
to vomit and gorge herself
to utilize the power. Because then people wouldn't
be as rude about it, probably.
They think she's just going to the bathroom for no
reason. Like, no, she's kind of being rude. She's not even letting me
watch the train. Because I would insist, like,
hey, if you're going to make yourself big or small,
do it in front of me. I want to
see how it works. I want to see
you shrink or dwell. There's a scene where she gets big. You remember it? big or small like do it in front of me i want to i want to see how it works i want to see you
shrink or there's a scene where she gets big you remember it of course does she come out naked
yeah okay but we don't see they they they film it slyly because you know she's kind of flat chested
and she's so enormous and she kind of comes out on her hands and knees and gets on all fours and
does a thing um so yeah then you don't see any nudity
from her i'm not sure if there is nudity i don't remember seeing any titties which is a real shame
i i i appreciate nudity and in my television shows it makes me feel like it's the real world
when everybody's in bed covering their titties up with a blanket pulled up like it's like it's
chilly i'm like what you just got fucked in the ass like are you shy now like what's going on
here like it just looks silly when everybody's hiding under the covers,
you know, have some titties out or like some ass cheeks banging.
It's just when they put so much of it that it's like,
oh, you didn't have enough to round out an episode.
That's what we're doing here is you wrote out the script
and you realized you were a page short,
and so you threw in an extra 120 seconds of this.
Game of Thrones did that all the fucking time.
I loved it. I loved it.
I loved it.
When they got away from the,
when they stopped hiring porn actresses,
literally for major roles,
that's when the show started going downhill.
That's the girl who plays a whore,
who's Tyrion's whore, quote unquote,
is a porn star.
Like she was a porn star.
A lot of them were.
All those background actors who were just
getting slammed in the back like that i love that part of the show i'm hyper fixated on the fact
that i can't actually remember any tits in this show like there must be tits because there is a
full-on gigantic dick that the girl climbs like a tree but there's testicles and oh yeah yeah not even like they don't show penis a little
they it takes up your entire screen very woke they show hairy balls like they call
pootie pie a nazi right away yeah they call pootie pie a nazi in the show yeah that's so stupid
yeah they just have to they have to ham handedly squeeze that shit into fucking everything now. You're right.
What did PewDiePie do?
I've never watched his videos, but that guy, he seems all right by me.
He's just doing memes, right?
I've never watched any of his content, but I've seen two things I think they don't like.
I'm pretty sure he might have dressed up as a Nazi for Halloween one year,
but that might just be imaginary.
I do remember, and for those of us who played a thousand hours of
pub g or more you know exactly where he was on the map when he dropped that n-bomb he's going
across the bridge to fucking millie island on the on like the uh the south uh east side and
he drops that n-bomb live on stream like who knows how many people probably 50
fucking thousand and it was like oh they didn't let that go for a long time yeah sounds like they
didn't at all if they're bringing it up now in a in this stupid show yeah and uh schwarzenegger's
dicks out too but they animate it so his his is he's sort of He's like fireman or whatever
He's like flame on and his whole body sets on fire
But that means his clothes burn
The fuck right off
And the girls are like
Yeah, look at his big
Uncut cock
It has to be uncut of course
Because nothing can cut him
Because he's golden boy
And he's got like a huge swinging fiery cock as he's doing his gym like
they're like showing off their powers and stuff and it's just like cock out all the time whenever
he flames on all his clothes burn off yeah yeah uh it's a it's a fun show i i like it i i can i
just ignore the woke fucking nonsense i i'm like there's lots of made-up stuff here so if they
make up some more stuff who i just make that part of the fantasy it doesn't jump out at me
ah like everything i just said right making fun of all their powers or like allegories
sounds woke as shit every it we're fighting the patriarchy and the white man every step of the
way man like like with our pussy powers i mean mean, it's as woke as it gets.
It's about a black lesbian
who fights the patriarchy with her
pussy power. That's what the show's
about. I like it. And she
does it alongside her white girlfriend
with the eating disorder, her trans
Asian friend,
and the white
girl who's
kind of evil.
We don't know yet.
I bet she turns evil.
The white girl goes evil.
The bad guy is Lincoln, the old white man.
Yeah, but we roast him right away and kill two white men at the same time.
That's episode one.
We get the two main character white men out of the way.
Look, it's as woke as a joke.
What?
I like the show.
Woke as a joke.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, I will not be watching that superhero show.
You're lost.
It does not sound like it's my loss.
You have to watch it with me
so I know who's who.
Yeah, I'm sitting there like,
the show fucking sucks.
Yes, that's the main character.
I imagine Jackie holding your hand
and like choking on top of it.
Honey, the show's starting
yeah
which one's that
here have a cashew
not too many
shit
I want an update
I want an update on your
your fishery that you've got over there.
My fish tank.
Yeah.
I've been working really hard on it.
Uh,
let's see.
It came in Wednesday.
By the end of that day,
I had it like the stand assembled in the tank on the stand.
I think I mentioned on the show,
it's 488 pounds.
So getting it on the stand,
like I can't lift 488 pounds,
but I can lift half of it and like get it on the ledge and then muscle
the rest and that like you can imagine um by the following day I had all the plumbing to take it to
the sump underneath and back um dry fitted and the next day I had it glued up so it's been running
um for maybe four days now something like that today I plumbed in the rest of the filters.
There's three fish in there, maybe five corals.
And either Friday or Saturday,
I'm moving the entire contents of my original tank over.
But so far, so good.
Is there going to be a-
What are you doing with the original tank?
Are you going to do like a second one
that's just for reef growing maybe?
I imagine that might be kind of neat.
We have like thoughts and ideas around that.
It's not nailed in.
So one thing is we're going to start quarantining new fish.
We're not just going to throw possibly sick fish in with the rest.
And it might do that.
We might do what they call a frag tank,
which is like when you buy or grow small frags and make them big enough
before you move them to your new tank.
Drag is a,
Oh,
a fragment.
It's a part of a coral. Yeah. And so I'm not sure what we're gonna do with the other tanks but we're gonna start like
quarantining fish and adding new stuff and i'm excited for that i love i love shorthand and
hobbies i love when it goes like that frag i'm like what's a frag yeah i'm sorry i didn't speak to my audience but uh we're not up
on the on the latest lingo of course not and you have to say that because the audience isn't
talking about either i i don't do fresh water stuff i'm sorry yeah enjoy your ugly fish
dude you should see it all day so my plumbing it's fairly complicated but i've talked before
about how i don't really like the task of plumbing.
And it's not that plumbing is bad.
I actually like putting the pipes together and gluing or soldering or whatever.
It's the places where I do plumbing.
I spent a good eight hours today under the tank.
And there's like another tank under it. So I'm like backwards, sharp corners digging in me, reaching far, lifting heavy things at the end of my arms.
And it was just exhausting.
My back hurts.
Everything hurts.
I had Jackie help me towards the end.
Woman helped me for like 30 minutes.
And she's like, oh, man, this is so hard.
I am seven and a half hours in, girl.
I don't want to hear about your fussing.
Fine.
No fish for anyone then.
Shut it down.
It's going to help.
I think I got pretty much the last of the hard plumbing.
It'll just be a terrarium.
I'm really excited.
She spent the day.
Dude, she's got like charts and whiteboards and stuff talking about the different needs of the corals.
And we have a light measuring device that shows you where the light is brightest and where it's dimmer.
And it's hard for the human eye to really understand how bright it is because it adjusts.
So you have this tool and we dialed in our lights today and I was really happy about that.
So now she's planning where every coral is going to go in the next tank based on
its needs. So it should be cool. She's really taken to this reef thing. I did it forever. I
did a long time ago for 15 years or something. And I came in with some knowledge, although I
was pretty out of date. She's fresh to this. And I bet right now she's either reading a reef book
or watching reef videos. She is constantly bringing herself up to speed and she's become an expert.
She's probably thinking anything to keep you out of the skies.
Or off of a crotch rocket in Arizona somewhere.
Oh, you want to grow fish in the living room?
Oh, my favorite thing, Woody.
Oh, more fish.
Let's grow frags.
Woody, come back.
We're going to do more frags.
Don't get in your sky machine and soar away.
Not this week, anyway.
Speaking of sky machines,
when you were watching the Palestinian-Israel shitrael shit were you like that's a pretty nice
paramotor or were you like dog shit that's a terrible paramotor off brand wouldn't touch it
with a 10-foot pole i couldn't tell what paramotor it was like the brand um i looked at the wing
and um but mostly i was like i can't believe someone actually used it in war.
So the U.S. Army trains on paramotors.
It's crazy to me.
But I have friends that are trainers and they'll just like they love the students.
It's really easy to train like a 25 year old athletic active duty fearless person, you know, compared to some buddy who can normally afford the sport.
But we do it and
i'm like this is dumb you can it you can hear me half a mile away if you're listening for me
and um and i move slow i'm a really easy target i'm bright in the sky it i just thought it was
a dumb thing to do but i have have to know you're the bad guy.
You know, and the only way to deal with you is a rifle.
Because I saw somebody was like, why does the iron don't shoot them down?
Because it's not calibrated to shoot some guy in a lawn chair moving slow as fuck. It's calibrated to shoot those rockets that are traveling super fast at super high altitudes.
They can hit a rocket.
They can hit a guy in a chair.
Again, they are calibrated for this.
It is not Star Trek.
Mr. Wolf, set it for paramotor mode.
Yes, sir.
I don't know.
It baffles me.
I don't know what they used to catch the rocket.
Did they need a really hot running engine?
You know what they say.
There's only one way to stop a bad guy with a paramotor.
It's a good night wing dude if you if you went over there like like you you could you could
teach the israelis to to turn the tables on on the parasails i think the first thing you need
to know this is a terrible idea you're all going to die are you guys positive because you have a
bunch of brand new Tacomas?
We could take these instead.
It seems like an idea that won't work twice.
The next time someone sees somebody in the sky at 50 feet going upwards of 26, 28 miles an hour coming your way, they're going to shoot it.
It's literally like invading via hot air balloon.
It's insane that hot air balloon invasion might be a better move because no one is going to expect an attack
if you look at what they're trying to traverse though like what's better for the money because
they're going through multiple layers of wire and traps and gates and roads and people who actually give
a fuck and they're zipping over those people in the course of 20 minutes or something they're
just flying over all the obstacles and you know we've seen woody do his thing they can take off
in somebody's backyard i was shocked by the payload because i saw two dudes loaded down with
combat gear on that thing with AKs and everything.
And it's like, damn, let's say there's skinny guys,
you know, 140, 150 pounds.
They're still got another 25, 30 pounds of gear.
Those things carry three or 400 pounds.
I would say 500 plus the thing itself.
You could put a 500 pound bomb on a paramotor.
Well, you need the pilot too.
So you can put a little guy. You need a little guy. 180 pound bomb. Dude,otor well you need the pilot too so so you can put a little guy
you get a child and and you put him in there i guess you could yeah can you not remote control
it it seems like that would be an easy can i know an instructor actually that has a remote
controlled paramotor so that if you panic he'll land you you. What? That's a good idea. Oh, that's so cool! I would feel comfortable doing it that way.
As long as he's good.
He's very, very good.
I'd want to play a couple of video games with him beforehand.
That sounds so scary.
Yeah, it does sound scary.
This guy's very good. He has a thing where
he wears these oversized white boots.
He's kind of famous for them.
When he launches, he leaves them on the grass.
And when he lands, he puts them back on.
Like, I couldn't do that.
Okay.
Does he, he lands in his boots?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
That's a lot of precision.
It's pretty, he does it all the time.
Like, it's a thing you can easily do every time.
The, uh, growing up.
Giant boots.
Growing up in a small redneck town one of the cool things
you can do one of the really one of the like groups you can be part of is the volunteer fire
department and uh they had these speed trials and i don't i've never seen it really done but
so i don't know but but basically alarm goes off how quickly can you get your gear on and get get
in the truck and they time you to so that you can get
your i don't know good old boy license or whatever and the the move apparently the the riskiest of
moves was jumping into your boots just jumping straight into them but if you miss you like
twist your ankle and fall on the ground you're trying to get up and put them on the way you
should have from the beginning and you really only save three seconds so i remember them talking about that a lot man that seems lame to me it's like the time that you
respond like if you get dressed really quickly you can do it in what 25 seconds and if you get
dressed like normally 60 seconds you know if you're doing it in a hurry, that
30 or 35 seconds extra seems
like a very small part of
the firefighting operation.
I think it's all they seem to care about.
It was getting those boots on as fast
as you could, that, and just driving around
in a big old truck listening to radio.
The reputation that I have
from movies and TV is that the
vast majority of the time at firehouses, they're not doing anything.
But that can't be true, right?
They do almost nothing.
My father-in-law was a fireman.
And so he, I forget his schedule.
I think he worked two days, got two off, worked three days, got two off, and then just kept repeating.
And he's like, it's terrible.
It takes a lot of your time
we just want to work 24 hours and have the rest of the week off and i was like 24 hours wouldn't
you just spend your time sleeping that's what we do anyway it's fine that's normal but anyway
you don't want me well rested to fight the fire? Apparently a big part of getting along with the boys at the firehouse
was your culinary skills.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
They're all about chili.
Chili for the boys.
Yeah.
You need something to keep you spry and light on your feet.
Chili!
Chili!
Can you imagine a worse way to start the day than chili?
Everyone shitting their pants on the bathroom
breaks during the fire all the time yeah i kind of had the same thought with different resolutions
yeah although like i'll be i'll be honest this is one of those like i'm too afraid to ask do people
really shit themselves that much every time i see someone joke about taco but they're like ha ha and
then you shit yourself and i'm like are you making some sort of diarrhea joke about your bad digestive
system because i think it's a joke like first of all i don't get diarrhea from taco bell
because i i'm i don't know i'm not an animal and and second of all like do you really shit
yourselves when you when you eat beans and things because that's i think there are people who are
shitting themselves and think that they're accepted
because of some memery on the internet.
That's my take on that.
I think there are a lot of people out there
that think it's normal to shit themselves
on a semi-daily basis.
There's the whole South Park episode
where they're like,
oh, love Chipotle,
but hate the bloodstains in your underwear.
And it's clearly a joke,
but some people take that a little far. It's like... What? You don't have bloodstains in your underwear. And it's like clearly a joke, but some people take that a little far.
It's like,
but I've never,
yeah,
I've never gotten like grievous shits from Taco Bell,
even horrible food.
I don't really get that from it.
If I'm eating a bunch of nonsense for a while,
I haven't either knock on wood,
you know,
that,
that doesn't happen.
Every Saturday, Kyle's in that boat boat him and the firehouse boys oh i'm so glad you brought this up this this
triggered my memory yeah no um the uh this is a repressed memory
this uh this thing that happened at disney um world or land probably world that's the big one
uh and they're they're making it out to be another one of those to be a frivolous lawsuit they're
like apparently someone received a wedgie injury on a slide and they're suing and it's like no
apparently someone got blasted in the ass so hard by their slide apparatus it caused internal and external
bleeding and their and their and their like intestines were exposed or something like that
and they're trying and every every store you see well not every because i clearly i know what
happened almost every story is written woman sues disney over mega wedgie on on like the the super slide go this summer to check out the super
slide by the way it's the tallest slide in north america and it's like what the fuck her her
butthole got blown out by your slide i think maybe i think her labia was torn too oh not the labia
we need that actually could be what what was hooking off of the slide that got her? So I held in on the slide,
but my understanding is that you're supposed to be on a mat and maybe she
came off it or something went wrong.
And it's a ride designed to sit on a mat and she didn't.
I think I have that right.
Or she came off the mat perhaps.
I haven't been to a water park in a fucking coon's age,
but I think I've only been twice. I bet that was a bigger thing in a fucking coons age but uh i think i've only been
twice i bet that was a bigger thing in jersey or an ocean city or wherever right yeah sure ocean
city had a couple water parks um and then there were bigger ones out yeah we would think i've
been twice uh first time i was like 12 and chubby so i wore a white t-shirt
oh that's embarrassing oh Those are fond memories.
Turns out you look better
chubby than you do chubby with a white t-shirt.
My buddy did the same thing.
Just me and him. You may as well walk around
with party clackers. Look at my
fat tits. Look at me.
You and the Hispanic
guys.
You don't get it, right? You're so
cold when you have a wet t-shirt
that one doesn't come to me late all day freezing you just you were in a i was never a white t-shirt
kid in the pool i don't think just that one time he convinced me he's like yeah i'm gonna wear a
t-shirt you know because you get sunburned and i was he's like you know there's sun lotion this
way and i'm thinking like I'm also fat as fuck.
Maybe I'll just...
Maybe this will be my thing. Hey, that's
Kyle, the long shirt guy in the pool.
Everybody's like, is Kyle Mexican?
I'm glad they wear a rash guard
and a sun shirt. They're tight.
They're meant for swimming.
I like it more than
lathering up if i'm not going
to be out there long yeah i mean those sun shirts though is like when you see someone one of those
it's like oh that guy has a reason he's got a plan he doesn't want to get sunburned a t-shirt guy
is just because they're fat yeah a hundred percent i lost the way in all the wrong parts
went to whitewater like the next year i think and it was the same year that they had the the diarrhea um scandal at whitewater at atlanta when the kid just shit
himself in the pool and gave everybody um e coli just uh i just just shit in the pool and everybody
got e coli bunch of kids got sick i don't remember if anyone died but e coli is like serious business
it can kill you like if it's the right kind yeah and and
i've told before but man they nuked that whole park with chlorine and i went the week after the
diarrhea incident my dad was like you you should go to that park and when we were listening to it
i was like they just had the diarrhea thing when the kids got sick he's like yeah it's gonna be
so clean now and it was the whole place the eyes burning burning hairs turning yeah
dude they nuked that place and it was weren't many people there because you know kids had gotten
violently ill the week that's a terrible one the ocean used to do that like back in the day
when i was in when i first moved to ocean city it was in an adjacent town wildwood that place was so dirty like the
needles were washing up on the beach people were getting rashes and illnesses they just shut down
um they used to dump the trash i don't know if it was new jersey's trash in new york's
but the trash would wash up i had like wetsuits with irremovable stains from like tar balls of
something i don't know what it was oil or tar whatever it's so gross yeah yeah it was crazy yucky back in the day it's so much cleaner now
and dude trash was a problem in like the 70s and 80s it was i would say half of the drivers
if they ate fast food in their car would throw it out the window when they finished eating. That's so rude.
I remember now it's outrageously unacceptable.
If you were to see it,
you'd be like,
yes,
this person.
And you know,
it tumbles all over the place.
Imagine a drink with still ice and a little bit of lemonade or whatever.
Just go.
It's like,
um,
my grandmother went to,
uh,
on this big road trip in early nineties,
like 91,
92.
And they drove to Arizona and they drove to LA.
She wanted to see LA.
And,
and she,
and I remember every time I would watch Terminator two with her Taylor,
there's that scene at the beginning where there's trash everywhere on the
ground,
things like,
like coming in,
shut the fuck up.
And,
and my grandma,
my grandma would like nudge me and she'd be like,
Kyle,
that's how it is there in Los Angeles.
Filthy trash everywhere.
They just throw it on the ground.
And then Arnold goes, why is there so much trash on the ground in here?
What is this, L.A.?
I'm going to terminate all of the garbage.
That's my favorite scene.
I like it.
It's a good one.
Hey, I'm going to fight this German guy.
I assume the bad guy is probably German.
Is he?
No.
No, the bad guy is not German.
The trash man?
What is he?
No.
Well, in which movie? The actor. What is he? No. Russian.
The actor. The one that turns into liquid metal.
He's a white man.
I would say he's probably like
Scotch-Irish.
I can see that. He's got German vibes.
We got fucking phrenology Kyle here.
What are his cranial measurements?
It's Robert Patrick. fucking phrenology kyle here what are what are his cranial measurements uh i mean it's uh it's robert patrick fuck it zach show me i bet you that we're gonna do some trivia later here's a
little trivia for now robert patrick's his name right i'm like almost sure it's davy from sopranos
that gambles away all the money davy not not not eric's, Davey. Not the college fun.
Oh, this guy was the worst in Sopranos.
Yeah, just a real pathetic kind of fellow crying.
Not a bad actor, right?
Oh, he's tremendous in this.
He has a lot of scenes where he sprints, and he went to some Olympic sprinter to learn how to run.
He has to run like a robot,
and so he doesn't want to breathe through
his mouth so he's so he's having to breathe through his nose while sprinting you never see
him take a breath um of course you wouldn't know any of this um there's a scene where later on
where he's flying a helicopter and he's shooting a machine gun at the same time
don't don't show him anymore he doesn't deserve to see and keep showing me show me the end
don't just spoil my childhood and uh keep showing me show me the end no i'll see that eventually for sure yeah dude i'm amazed at this i looked it up i had to know
robert patrick is the eldest of five children born to nadine and robert patrick senior
and is of scotch scott irish and english descent jesus damn swish kyle knows his
kyle knows his race patrick from scott irish descent yeah uh i mean you're a racist you know
when someone at it's like if you look at uh uh you're buying a cat you know oh what kind of cat
is it it's like there's only It's American short-haired cat.
The American short hair is code for it's a fucking cat, dude.
And so saying Scotch-Irish about a white person is just saying he's a white person.
He's a white person.
It's that or Germanic.
That's the only two.
There's Germans and English.
But yeah, but by, by and large,
we don't care. Italians aren't white.
Italians aren't white.
You know, I have no idea how selective white is.
It's up to the...
It's in the eye of the beholder, my friend.
It's in the eye of the beholder.
Why not? Taylor is looking a little swarthy.
He is swarthy. He ain't white.
I don't think I'm very swarthy.
He's half white.
Taylor, you just got the n word pass i just got i got the w word pass i can say wop that's not even a good one yeah yeah i
think i think you're right it must be in the eye of the beholder because back in like the english
back in the day they definitely didn't think of like southern italians as like white but in like comparison if they were like i don't think i don't think they'd be like oh that
guy's white too probably i'm picturing like doubt that the english like like had a concept of white
people even like they knew about black people but like i don't even think they were ever like yeah
whites like us they were just like yeah there's blacks like those Irish
scum
they look nothing like us and it's like
they look almost exactly the same I'm a big
fan of when TV shows and movies predict the future
Simpsons is famous for it
Star Trek predicted the Irish
reunification 2024 just saying
so be ready for that
so Northern Ireland and
regular Ireland are going to get back together
the whole and and like the united kingdom i suppose under one big beautiful them i hope
ireland gets back to i don't know any of the politics back there or what's going on up there
it's one of the few deleted scenes from star trek and what i think they only showed it in uh on bbc
maybe twice because they it's a it's an episode about terrorism versus freedom fighting and how those lines
can be muddied.
And,
and,
uh,
it's about it's,
and just like race,
it's in the eye of the beholder.
That's what we should brown son of a bitch.
It's all in the eye of the beholder.
With your,
with your olive skin,
your greasy hair.
With your greasy hair.
And you got a guinea charm.
I'm being bullied by like four black guys held up against defense they're gonna beat the shit out of me and i'm like i'm not racist i have an italian
friend is he real italian no he's like an american mutt
that is so funny like people who are like i'm you know spanish and it's like
really like there's a lot of mix in there like come on you're not really spanish but
either way kind of kind of good for people to keep a connection with their their heritage i suppose
doesn't hurt anyone just that probably just means they're spending more time online
on Ancestry.com, which is a hobby
that tons of women like.
I know
that Mike Perry, who's kind of mixed up
in this whole Logan Paul debacle that we should
probably touch on because it is relevant.
Mike Perry found out
he was 2% African American
when he ran his DNA. Lots
of people are.
I'm not. Thank fucking
God.
I'll have to check
with my brother. I think we got a little of that in there.
I can tell. I can fucking tell.
You're always late.
I am always on time
for the show.
Yeah, if you say so.
I lie, too.
See?
Damn.
Just digging my grave.
I mean, I'm the fella.
I got a little in me.
So Mike Perry is 2%.
He's 2% African-American.
Yeah, Woody makes me clap when I leave his house
so he knows I'm not taking anything.
Hands out of your pocket, sir.
And he uses the N-word freely.
That's only private.
No hard R or anything,
but he's just in a friendly kind of way.
Like, yeah, ninja.
Yeah, yeah.
He thinks he's fine to say it.
The other one is Tito Ortiz.
Good for him.
Taking that word back.
White people invented that word.
I saw Tito Ortiz doing an interview there's this black guy he's an older gentleman he clearly has some beef against other black people he's he's the right wing older black gentleman you may have
seen on TikTok and stuff they'll be like are we supposed to just forget about you know what
happened to you the racism this and that did you just forget? He goes, yes. He's great. He's like, yeah.
I forgot about it. Destiny maybe debated
him a couple times. Probably so.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that guy.
What was I talking about? What was I going to talk about?
Tito Ortiz and him seemed to have a thing. Him and Tito
were sitting there together and
he was like,
Tito was like, yeah, I know how, he said something
like, I know how it feels. Look at me.
I feel like I'm black. I mean, I look like a gorilla. And it's just like, yeah, I know how... He said something like, I know how it feels. Look at me. I feel like I'm black. I mean,
I look like a gorilla. And it's
just like, fuck.
But you look at Tito, and he does
look like a... Show me Tito Ortiz. Show me just a
picture of Tito Ortiz, who's a very white man.
He was the fucking... I think he's Mexican.
Ortiz, that's a good clue.
Ortiz, yeah, it's good.
But what was his fighter name?
He's the something city bad boy
huntington beach i'm close huntington yeah brighton beach something like that it's no it's
i just can't call it word yeah okay yeah man i so a big thing happened in the with the ufc taylor
um i think that this might bring in some fans like you who are sort of peripheral fans and really enjoy maybe some of the more spectacle fights occasionally.
Or maybe you're at a place and you're like, yeah, I'll watch that.
But you'd never buy.
Yeah.
They're the USADA, who is the United States Anti-Doping Association there.
If you ever saw that, did you see Icarus russian olympic doping scandal back in the day
that big documentary icarus on netflix i have not seen it no well in that this guy novitsky
jeff novitsky is kind of a central figure in it um and he's the guy who's if not running the usada
he's definitely like the point man in the face of it publicly as far as testing athletes and sort of speaking on athlete testing, et cetera, with the UFC.
And the UFC's had this big thing recently where they want Conor McGregor back.
He's been out for roughly two years healing a leg injury.
He had a huge break of his leg,
and he's clearly been on performance-enhancing drugs,
not only to get big and bulky and fun and saucy and look cool,
but to heal the leg.
And he's been avoiding
he's out of been out of usada testing that whole time now he wants to come back in and fight
a fight they want him in january that's me talking because a lot of his fights have been in january
and january's when they traditionally don't really have a lot going on people don't want to fight in
january so sticking conor mcgregor there like they did when he fought Cowboy
or like they did last time he fought Poirier,
they get this huge bump in the numbers to begin the calendar year
because he's either 8 out of 10 or 9 out of 10
of the top 10 pay-per-views of all time.
You're talking about over a million buys at $80 a pop
on an already subscription-based service.
So it's huge money. It's crazy.
He wants to come back and fight, and they probably want him as soon as possible.
But USADA has a rule.
You have to be in our program for six months.
Give us a blood sample now and at least one more, and then in six months you can fight.
And he's been in a dispute with them over this because he's saucy.
And then he just finally signed the thing.
Like, yeah, I'm'm in i don't know
that he gave them a sample he says he did it's foggy but the next day like october 7th he gives
them the sample or signs up or whatever october 8th usada announces we are no longer partnered
with ufc despite good talks in and may about continuing our our decades decade long plus
service with them we will be parting ways
because of x y and z and it's clearly because they don't want to put up with the nonsense of
connor coming back because they did it once before back in the day and they allow brock lesnar to
come in smash mark hunt without testing they tested him after the fight he's hot as a fucking
ember melted the cup melted the cup because he's a monster mark hunt on the other
hand eats all that punishment bullshit then he just recently and i mean like last month mark
hunt lost the lawsuit about that and that goes back years and years he just lost the lawsuit
so usada's out so now as of january the united the ufc doesn't have a dope testing league so
just roid up a lot of fights are kind of
a lot of people are saying that on Twitter fighters
are kind of joking about that
the question will be isn't
if there will be a testing organization
because I'm sure there will be it's
whether they go with VADA or they go with something
that's made up VADA is a something
people know about it's already
established VADA but I don't think it's an...
I don't think, I could be wrong, that it's an organization that tests people like USADA is.
I think it's a set of rules. It outlines which drugs
are bad and things like that. You could do a VADA-style test,
but I don't think VADA administers tests like USADA. I heard it spoken of the way
I'm describing it, but I don't know anything about it.
All I know is the GSP thing back in the day
where he asked for Vada testing in his Johnny Hendricks fight,
was denied it, nearly lost the fight,
and retired after because he was salty about the whole thing.
So yeah, I'm excited because I don't give a fuck about steroids.
I think that everyone should just use them.
They're great for healing.
They're great for longevity. And these are guys who get beat up and cut and just have to work out and
learn so many techniques and just just to be doing boxing on monday and jits on wednesday and running
every day and fucking weights and technique and give them some roids. Let him heal up. So Kyle's made a really good case for how helpful roids are.
It is
unsafe to get beaten up by
somebody on steroids.
Is it more
unsafe than just getting beaten up?
Yes. I would much rather be beaten up
by a regular person than one who's
jacked like that. You want to fight
Taylor for 10 minutes or me
for 20?
You're going to take the beating either way in this imaginary scenario we're both better but yeah i'm but but it's gonna take me 20 minutes to
beat you up because i'm not i'm not as big and strong as roided up taylor taylor gets in there
he's a boom you're out but i'm just in the water i'm on that faster We're going five rounds. Deep waters. Grounded pound.
Elbows. So in this scenario,
Taylor's on roids and you're all natty?
You understand my confusion.
Yes.
No, you're right. Look, the point would be
Duke can hit harder.
He's going to generate more Newtons of fucking
ass whoop to put onto somebody's brain.
Like, if you told me that you were
using steroids in baseball,
I'd be like, oh, know like they should just have even rules and and it's a little dicey because that means you can't be a baseball player unless you do storage yeah because
now you have to do this drug which potentially may be at a level that's not good for you anymore
to play this game and it it's like oh if you want to be in our league you have to take these risks
and it'd be nice if that wasn't the case but at least in baseball you're not hurting each other
if it's a punching and kicking and strangling sport and now they're on steroids i mean don't
get me wrong i'm buying the pay-per-view but i'm not sure if it's right do you watch do you watch
that youtuber he's uh he's like the counter um he's the guy with the white dude with the beard.
Luke Thomas or something?
Really boring.
He's like on a webcam just like talking.
He's great.
That guy convinced me that the UFC allows their elite to juice.
And they basically have the best of both worlds.
They don't let it run rampant.
So you get like TRT, Vitor,
just brain damaging everybody.
And, you know, like three or four or five of those
in every weight class.
They just let their creme de la creme,
like the Israel Adesanya's and the John Jones's
and probably the Khabib Nurmagomedov's
and like people like that.
And Conor McGregor clearly to,
yeah, you need some?
Oh, would that help you out? Oh, we look the other way. Man, you do make us a lot
of money. They're not going to risk. They're not going to spend money to
help some middling guy who's getting $10,000 to show, $10,000 to win, which
I think they pay lower than that still to some people. This does
sync up with everything I've observed. I just haven't really put it together like that.
For example, John Jones literally
tested hot. They tested
and they're like, ah, this is just
kind of like a rebound steroid
from that time we caught him on
steroids six or twelve months ago.
I think they have an agreement now.
I think they're running
a scam now where when they test people,
when their stars test positive,
they don't
announce it, and they keep it a secret.
I think that Kamzat Chamaev,
who was fighting anyone and everyone
at two weight classes one week
after the other, tested positive.
And he just took a year off.
He was doing what I was
describing. Anybody, everybody,
170, 185, I don't care.
Yeah, I'll fight this week i'll fight next
week anybody i killed them i don't know who i far on 9 11 by the way that was the last time he
fought 9 11 so it's been a year and um whatever a month uh plus a month 13 now his suspension is
over because he tested positive but nobody wants to talk about that because it's bad for business
and i bet it happens all the time anytime you see some guy take a fucking year off,
Colby Covington,
is it Leon?
I got caught there.
Um,
he fought,
uh,
not that long ago,
I thought,
but I'm,
I think he's scheduled coming up.
I'm a little,
I'm a little blanked out.
I have a hard time following the scheduling cause they go back so much.
You know,
they just redid this whole card.
Um, anyway, that's probably enough ufc um i'm just yeah i thought that you saw the thing and potentially going into an asteroid era in the 21st century in a major sport like this was cool
like i i like the it won't happen i enjoy watching ufc like but i'm that kind of fan you described
where like if it's on somewhere,
I have some friends who are very much into it like you guys are,
and so they'll be like, hey, come over Saturday night.
I'm having people over watching the fights.
I'll always go do shit like that, but I'm never watching.
I have to ask, so what's this guy's story?
This seven-foot-tall Russian guy, what's his deal?
And they're like, well,
he's an enormous Russian that beats people up.
I'm like,
all right,
well,
I inferred that is,
is he going to win?
Is he going to win or lose against this other guy?
Oh,
well,
the other guy's got the hands,
but this guy is also a seven foot tall Russian.
So yeah.
And then I,
then I saw the Russian guy beat that guy up.
And then I saw the fat Samoan beat up the taller fitter guy, which I thought was great. That was a different
fight, but that was good. Those guys who do the black tattoos in the love handle area,
they're not fooling anyone.
Before Kyle was as knowledgeable a fan as he is now, he really
liked, who was the fat southern?
Big country. Roy Nelson. really liked who was the fat southern um oh oh big country big country roy nelson yeah yeah i think
roy nelson big country he had a he had a big beard that like came maybe not quite nipples but like
almost and uh it was an ugly scraggly like what was it duck dynasty looking thing and it was all gray and uh i think that he was the first guy to catch kyle's
fancy that i can remember i remember when that guy got big and like my friends that were in it
at the time being like you can't knock this guy out just look at how much punishment he can eat
and i was like yeah this guy you can take 100 times he was okay i don't remember if he won
the ultimate fighter but i remember him knocking knocking Brendan Schaub the fuck out
and then rubbing that belly.
He got bigger.
See, the beard has color right here.
Yeah, this is not like a prime picture that describes.
He got bigger.
He had a gut, like a Buddha.
Yeah, I went to Woody's house and watched my first pay-per-view ever,
and it was Jon Jones, Chael Sonnen,
and I think this was the co-main event.
Not this fight
right here i i don't know it might might have been but uh but that looks like the reebok era
it's more likely this was the version of him i saw because this is back in the crazy logo era
so this beard is crazy dana white all of his gloves but i remember him being way fatter even
this he looks kind of young um towards the end of that's when he looked good when he's got the
mullet see that's the kind of guy who could be when he looked good. When he's got the mullet.
That's the kind of guy who could be popular now.
I like that. What was his name?
Roy Nelson. He's retired.
He's still fighting.
I don't know where he's fighting now, but he's still fighting.
He doesn't look good anymore.
Yeah, well, did he ever look good?
I mean, you wouldn't want to step in the cage with him.
No shit!
Obviously. I don't want to step in the cage with him no shit like obviously like no shit like i don't want to step in the cage with any of these there's the gray beard yeah but the thing is that
his opponent but i mean in this in the same way he wouldn't want to he wouldn't want to play magic
the gathering against me so tit for tat you know one half dozen of the other he's a professional fighter i'm a gay nerd like
you know equal equal part i just watched the clip he beat the shit out of brendan shaw
yeah like it like it wasn't even like a full power punch and it i think brendan shaw doesn't
get his due like he was a top 10 guy he beat crow cop um he he wasn't consistent enough
to really be a title contender but he was he was a professional fighter the the trash he gets about
that has nothing to do with with how good of a fighter he was or wasn't it's all about like the
hate for him because of other things and a myriad of other
things that he's done and said and you know patterns of behavior that have been noted and
just they really hate him they're right about everything they say like i get that i acknowledge
it all the criticisms they have are real they're not i don't see them often making up things
instead they're providing video evidence of him. Let's say a really cool thing
happens, but you're not the star of the story. This guy did something
amazing in reaction to that guy, or this guy had a really snappy comeback, and he tells
that story of something he saw. Then the next time he tells the story, he's
the main character. He's the guy who said the clever thing. They catch him
in lies like that.
But I don't that's not enough to make me hate him.
Yeah, I it is.
Those are the stories where he said, like, yeah, I saw Dave Chappelle vaping.
And I was like, that's just or smoking.
I was like, oh, yeah, you should vape.
He's like, yeah.
He threw his cigarettes away.
He switched to vaping right there.
Or like, yeah, Floyd Mayweather just approached me.
You know, I wouldn't have talked to him and bothered him,
but he came to me.
And he was like, ah, you that white boy who works too much.
Yeah, that's when I realized.
And he's like, yeah, that's when I realized I was working too much.
It's just like all of these self-serving stories.
He has like four where celebrities approach him
and say ridiculously complimentary things to him and then
like walk away and some like like it's a movie or something it's something he's making up in his head
it's like yeah and then this guy said that to me he's like yeah you're that you're that they're
that guy who kicks ass does comedy none of these stories and you know the whole thing about
asking the other the the lady comedian or podcaster or whatever you know the trugwag and all that stuff and it's you don't know that yeah
this you know he's a married guy and i think he like propositioned some um podcaster comic ladies
like like come to my truck and suck my dick basically um and but you know the way he talks
because he's got a little bit of a thing the way he pronounces
words they call it the trug wog you know can i can i walk you to my truck and and the idea is
like he's trying to get her to go out there and suck his dick and then she told the story
and hinted around about she's like yeah there's this ex-ufc fighting mexican podcaster who's friends with Joe Rogan. I don't want to say names.
He's a fucking
philanderer
creep who tried to make me suck
his dick in a parking lot and he does
it to everyone.
There's just tons of stuff.
They have dislike for him. As far as UFC career,
he was fine.
I don't want to get in that fucking cage. i don't get that fucking cage every time i'm watching if i'm with someone like
a girl especially i'll be like this is the worst job in the world like like look at this like we're
watching the undercard that that third fight of the night some guy you've never heard of fighting
some guy you've never heard of and he's just getting his brains bashed in on the ground for eight thousand dollars it's like eight grand yeah yeah it starts around there eight to show and eight
more to win oh my god i think professional soccer players make more than that if you lose here
huge sports no like i think one drivers make more than that i should have said american
professional soccer players.
Obviously, the European ones are raking it in.
I imagine they do.
You get that $8,000, you lose, and now you have taxes, obviously.
But then you've also got employees, right?
If you ran any kind of a camp, you've got coaches and perhaps a nutritionist.
This is your job, by the way.
So the last six weeks when you were doing
nothing else needs to be financed by this and your next three to four months plus another fight camp
as well eight thousand dollars after taxes coach rent like everything like it's the worst job in
the world remember ronda rousey was fighting someone and you got to see like usc used to do these like behind the scenes
documentaries leading up to the fight on how they train and there's ronda rousey with like her
dedicated coaching team or striking guy this guy that guy and she's just working at it like full
time and then her opponent is like a cpa you know trading after work it's like doing her best she's just like in a gym like it's 80 percent
mark from accounting holds my past
after work she'd go to a gym and like she's not a center of attention like ronda is she just
part of a bunch of and she's fighting's fighting a former Olympic athlete being trained and cultivated and
juiced up.
Rhonda was on something by like a whole crew of people before she,
when she got chubby cheeked,
that,
that that's how I knew.
I was like,
she didn't used to look like this.
She used to be all sexy.
She was on some,
some,
uh,
uh,
Anna barn or something.
They,
they,
they were,
they were thinning her out.
She,
uh,
at some point,
then she looked powerful.
She would throw those bitches.
She put them in that judo headlock throw thing that, that trip and just, well, thinning her out at some point. She looked powerful. She would throw those bitches.
She put them in that judo headlock throw thing,
that trip, and just,
and those 130-pound bitches would go flying.
Judo's a cool form of fighting,
like throwing people around.
I don't know.
It's just so novel compared to the other ones. I like the one where you flip their arm over your,
like the movie one. It makes sense, though you flip their arm over your... The movie one.
It makes sense, though, that
you have to be in a judo contest
to do that and make it
work, right? It's not... Nobody's in
the UFC that just
is a judo master, right?
Not anymore. Ronda Rousey.
Ronda Rousey comes to mind. Cairo Parisian
comes to mind. But the point
still stands that they tend to be
wrestling base is a huge
one. Some BJJ, some Muay Thai,
but
not a lot of Judo. Wrestling makes sense.
It seems like the way they blend martial arts together
that if there's anything Judo
based, it's like, yeah, twist your ankle like
it's Judo. Yeah, like a Judo
throw, but grab the ankle instead.
Or, oh yeah, it's like a Judo throw, but get a gable grip instead of the ankle instead or oh yeah it's like a judo throw but
get a gable grip instead of the gi or like i'm sure there's stuff like that
because everything is kind of melded together to it's like why would i go by jujitsu rules exactly
if it's more better to use a shoot boxing technique or a wrestling technique or just
just grab him why are we no don't spin grab you know
like everything's melded together at this point where it's getting pretty streamlined
where the best guys are wrestlers who can throw makes sense when you're a wrestler like i just
real quick i don't know i'm getting in let's say i'm really good at taking you down taylor
that means you can't keep your hands up here all the time to defend
yourself.
You have to constantly be ready to stuff my takedown,
which involves putting your hands by your knees and sort of your goal is
to sort of catch me on either side of my head.
Maybe you know this already and,
and stuff my takedown because I can threaten with this takedown.
And it's a real problem.
If I get one,
you can't defend your head like you wish you could
so a lot of wrestlers with mediocre boxing have effective boxing because their opponents have to
respect the takedown and some of the best that makes sense and like the best in the world are
are fainting that you know they'll get a read on you they'll go for that they'll shoot for that
takedown three times maybe they get one and punish you now next round you're thinking cannot let him put me down again so you they they faint that
they're going for the legs so you drop your hands and then they come over the top and catch you just
like khabib did connor and you look like an asshole as you fly across the ring and try not
to be unconscious did did either of you guys ever wrestle in school? No. No? I feel like I probably mentioned this on the show a long time ago,
but it's the same season as hockey.
And so when you get to high school and everything,
at least the real hockey teams I played for wouldn't allow me to wrestle
and do other stuff because I had more practices and stuff.
And so in middle school, I wrestled, though, because it didn't matter.
So I could do hockey and wrestling at the same time.
And I think I wrestled at like 140, like either 135.
Like for a 14-year-old, it was pretty big, like 140 or so.
And maybe it was 145.
And I was like way better at wrestling than you might imagine like i took to it pretty quickly but my
coach was like a fucking animal like he was one of those guys who was he was my wrestling eighth
grade wrestling coach and also my eighth grade history teacher and he could not care less about
american history this guy didn't give a fuck like Like he very obviously didn't care. He was
there to coach wrestling and he made that clear. Like he would call himself a coach who teaches
and he was like a collegiate wrestler. He was very good, I guess, or at least that's what he
said. I never looked into it. But before my first meet, he took me aside and was like,
Taylor, I scouted out the guys you're wrestling against today.
Some fatties.
A couple of fatties.
And I was not fat.
I was a pretty built 14-year-old.
So you should be at 140,
and you've got guys who are too fat to be at 40.
Yeah, I was probably 145-ish, 5'10".
That sounds like so much fat. yeah i was like probably 145 ish like 510 like like a pretty like these guys should be 120 but they should be 120 and like but he's like they have some good technique or something led
to that and he's like taylor this is what i want you to do at the start of every match your hands
are like this i want you to throw your right forearm and hit them in the collarbone
as hard as you can and like this like shoot my arm forward and slam into them like that
and i was like and in my head i'm like is he telling me to cheat i'm like
real like because we did not go over this and practice
for some reason yeah don't do this to my teammates for some reason.
Yeah, don't do it to my teammates.
Single legs, double legs.
Like, we did all that stuff doing the goofy wrestling exercises.
But he was like, no, I want you to hit him as hard as you can
in his collarbone right off the start.
And I was like, okay.
And it was my first wrestling match.
My dad, my mom were there.
I think my younger
brother was there watching i was one of the first on our team to go up and the first guy was like
definitely shorter than me stocky not not fat like a little fat i guess but like it looked like a
strong kid and i in my head i'm like i hope i'm able to get the jump on him but I was because it turns out no one
else was telling their kids to hit collarbones with forearms as hard as you can and so you know
the technique he didn't know and so I like off to start they go like or whatever to start it
and I like take a step and with all my power, slam my whole forearm bone into this guy's like.
And there's a little bit of a hammer arm to it because I don't know what I'm doing.
I've never practiced this before.
Not a way over the head thing.
Definitely not.
I came out and I hit and he told me he's like, hit him with your forearm.
You're not punching your forearm hitting him.
And I I dropped this kid like he i've never seen
shock in the eyes this kid did not expect to get belted like that and i hit him so fucking hard
that immediately i took him to the ground and like he was still in like shock and i pinned him
like it it's it's wrestling It's not like one, two,
three, four. It's like you get their arms.
I pretty much KO'd him.
I won super quickly.
All my teammates on the
bench were like,
yeah!
Nobody was booing. My dad was
so proud that I
beat the shit out of this kid.
It's wrestling.
I beat the shit out of that kid and it's wrestling so I had like so I beat the shit out of that kid and I won very quickly and then I went back and waited for my next match and then I
went up and or then my coach came over and he was like Taylor that was perfect that is that is
exactly what you need to do and he he's like, Taylor, next round,
I want you to take your forearm and hit him in the collarbone as hard as you can again.
And at this point, I'm feeling juiced up.
I'm like, man, I'm feeling good.
I'm good at wrestling.
And so I think I wrestled three times.
I'm going to need a name.
The second guy was actually my size leaner uh but he wasn't ready he wasn't ready to be
assaulted by another 14 year old i hit that kid so fucking hard in the collarbone that one took
a little bit longer but i still took him down like you haven't like the i'd never been in a
physical conflict where i could see fear in the eyes of someone I was in combat with.
And I just I dominated this.
I'm like high on my own supply.
I'm feeling great about this.
Now, my second wrestling meet after this, there was this big Asian guy who knew what he was fucking doing.
He got no he got cliff notes on my only move.
And he he like did a bunch of actual wrestling and beat me.
But this first meet, this first meet, I went back.
I was I was now two and I believe.
And then I had one more.
And the last guy was this kid who had no business fighting me.
Like he was a head and a half shorter than me.
A little butterball.
We're both 14.
But this kid, if the first two guys were layups
this guy was like a fucking play school dunk like on a on a three foot plastic hoop like that's what
he was and so the way it works is we we walk around to the side and we have to stand by the
like judges table while we're waiting for the match before us to conclude and i see this other kid
this little butterball walking up and he's like hey and i'm like hey and he goes i saw your first
matches i'm afraid of you he told me he said i'm afraid of you which got me being like yeah you should be bitch i'm gonna guess what's wow
no no no i didn't say that out loud in my head i was thinking i'm trying to hype myself up in
my head i'm like yeah you should be i'm a good wrestler not really and this kid told me he was
afraid of me and i was like oh okay yeah haha then like then we both go in there and he had seen me do my only
move and so like off the start i go to hit him as hard as i can in the collarbone and he he retreats
he retreated from the fight he like did like multiple jumps back i have so much energy behind
this forearm that i stumble forward like onto my hands and knees.
And now we're not wrestling.
Now we're doing Benny Hill where I am chasing this fat kid around the ring trying to get a hold of him.
And like he has his like back to me running almost like he's not even backing away.
And so I had to go wrangle this kid in and then do like a couple of the traditional wrestling moves that i had learned in order to win that one like the the little you know reach
under the arm and put on the back of the head and like push and roll them over like that which was
still easy because he was he was not in the mood to fight that kid didn't want to be there and yeah
so wrapped up my wrestling career my first day i think think I was 3-0 because I didn't lose my first day.
Did you get two or three pins this day?
I got three.
I got all three pins because once the first two guys got clocked in the –
they didn't run practice for what if the coach of one school
tells their kid to go balls out of salt mode on people.
It was like the most I've ever dominated in a one-on-one sporting event ever
and it only happened when i the next meet i was so like nobody can predict this my one move and
no this big asian guy he knew what he was fucking doing he was tying me up wrangling me like that
didn't go well for me he beat me very easily but yeah i felt good if you faced 14 year old
woody i would have gotten my shit pushed in i i you're like you fought at 140 yeah i don't know
what i weighed at 14 but i do know that at 15 i broke three digits so i was like what 91 88
something like that oh my god i was little when i was i was i was six feet tall when i was 15 i
know that and i was like 100 and like i lost a bunch of weight and then got down to 155 but i
had been like maybe 165 or something 170 like around then um i had i didn't know what like a
good male physique looked like and uh i've always had a
really big rib cage but at this point i hadn't like grown into it i didn't have like deltoids
or whatever to make me look like a human more like a bird and uh i was riding my bicycle shirtless
and i've got this giant rib cage where you can see all the bones in it. And this girl yells out, nice chest.
And I had no idea that she was mocking me.
I'm like, you're like.
Maybe she wasn't, Woody.
Maybe she wasn't.
Woody, there's no reason to look back on that.
No, for sure she was making fun of you.
Just pretend.
Think of that as a missed opportunity.
That was love at first sight.
Did she come over with like those xylophone mallets,
like ding, ding, ding, ding, on your ribs? Like Looney Tunes? Opportunity. That was love at first sight. Did she come over with those xylophone mallets?
Like, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Like Looney Tunes. I was just riding my bike somewhere.
I was probably going to work. I don't know.
But I had no shirt on and she yelled that out.
I don't think she really meant it.
That's unfortunate.
Let's jump to ads very quickly.
Already over two hours.
Been having such a fun time chatting.
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Why do you have that on?
It's healthy.
Is it on right now or did you turn it off? No, I just gave it like a couple of...
Yeah, I held it for maybe 10 seconds
and it really
fills the room up. How big is the machine?
Is it just like a handheld thing?
Yeah, it was like 40, 50 bucks
off Amazon and then
I got some spider webs
and a bunch of candles
and some creepy shit.
I was going to set that up, but it just didn't look good.
I didn't realize you have to really
take the fake spider webs apart
layer by layer to get something that looks like a spider web.
I'm going to play with that later.
I'm not sure how gung-ho
I am about the Halloween thing because i do do that
thing where i imagine how something's going to be and then i get there and i'm like fuck all that
we all do that oh this is how it works suddenly yeah oh i thought it was gonna be fun and like
i'd scare a kid or something and go home but i don't want to do that home yeah but i think
the fog machine i'm gonna try to fog the yard and like have the whole yard be all smoky and foggy
because i've got like a whole gallon of this shit and i could fog the neighborhood i think
yeah doesn't toby bark at children chain him up out in the front he hates people that's scary
people yeah yeah i had a repairman in the other day and and uh he barked
at him i don't think he's i don't think he would bite though i don't think so was he black like uh
like when the bird barks at at the black repairman and king of the hill but then they find out that
the dog is not racist it's because the dog doesn't like anyone fixing things around the hill so yeah
yeah here's a little trivia for you my friend friend. Who's the voice actor for the Black Repairman?
The voice actor for the Black Repairman
in that King of the Hill.
I'll give you a hint. He is black.
He is black.
I assume that.
I don't know who it is.
I know Chris Rock did
multiple episodes
cameoing with the King of the Hill show.
So I would guess Chris Rock,
but I probably am wrong.
Yeah,
no idea.
No,
damn.
That's hilarious.
You son of a bitch.
That's the trivia and not knowing.
If I had to guess,
I would say Bernie Mac.
Cause I think I remember maybe it being Bernie Mac.
But when you said Chris Rock, I was like, yeah, it might be Chris Rock.
So now Chris Rock is the driving school instructor in that other episode where he plays the comedian driving school instructor.
But damn, you got me hook, line and sink her with that. I know. Dude, I was going, I was making, oh, yeah, for non-PKN listeners, get on the Patreon,
listen to PKN, our bonus show, one hour a week.
I did trivia during our PKN where I wrote a bunch of trivia questions, different categories,
one question for Woody, one for Kyle.
I was going to do just one question.
And then I was like, that's not going to not gonna work because then you know you would need like your point i think before the show you would need
like something to write down like a a whiteboard or something like that yeah so you just reveal
yeah but that doesn't lend itself that well to audio and so i was like i'm gonna have to write
twice as many questions and so i did that and it was, it's hard thinking of stuff that's difficult,
but not impossible.
Like,
and also like sprinkling in some easier ones in there or thinking like,
okay,
this would be easy for me,
but,
uh,
you are an adult with object permanence of people who,
you know,
they don't have the same experience as you.
So like this,
this king of the hill question for you might be gettable but
for them not at all or i'm pretty good at that ufc was a hard one because i was like oh you guys
when i asked a couple ufc ones to you guys where i was like who's the all-time winner of most
knockouts who's the all-time win leader and you guys both got those very easily and i thought
those were gonna be kind of tough so i went a little harder on the ufc one this time we'll see if if you get that yeah it's weird because i i i wouldn't say
i'm good at memorization but if i have a passion for something it doesn't feel like learning anymore
it's more like absorbing and i i can i have really good recall about numbers sometimes because
like the number becomes a sound or a color
to me. I know that sounds autistic
as fuck, but I
know that that Japanese
diplomat toured the United States in 1878
because it tastes
yellow. Like the number 1878.
You know what I mean? I can't forget
that.
But
stuff that's pop culture related i'm actively trying to memorize
while i watch it because that's the fun game i play with myself once you've watched the office
for like the fifth sixth time all the way through what are you doing if not preparing for trivia
night right like yeah that's all i'm really doing I really like memorizing little things here and there from all the episodes of everything. I don't know. I like that.
I'll surprise myself with hockey stuff sometimes where someone will bring up like, oh, who won this award in 2009? And I'm like, oh, well, that's Stephen Stamkos with the lightning. And it's like, how did i know that what what information that was useful got pushed out of my head to allow for me to retain this
nonsense remembering but again i don't feel like i never sit down and like look at hockey stats to
memorize it i just have fun going on like the page every year and being like who's having a great
season oh this guy's having a real standout season oh this guy's having a real fucking shit show of
a season i'm really bad at remembering like the last 20 years like if you ask me what year a thing happened in the last 20
years i could be way off because it's there's something way less tangible tangible about the
21st century and those years when i was a kid i had this firm feeling for what the 70s were. The 1970s were such a self-contained era.
And then the 80s.
Oh, I got this perfect idea of the 80s.
Like, even as I'm saying them,
I'm picturing everything that is them,
and it's so self-contained.
And then the 90s.
And then, okay, the early 2000s, I guess.
I remember that as being a distinctive thing.
But the last 10, 15 years kind of just feel like the same
it's like our culture is stuck because it's like what what movies are coming out well they're
remakes of the same movies or they're just continuations of the same superhero series from
you know 2005 or like you're right it doesn't feel distinctly different the same way so so i
have a hard time if you ask me about something that happened in 2015. I have to start thinking
what was I doing in 2015?
What was happening
in 2015? I need an event
from that year that happened that I actually
remember to take me back to that period
at all. I have no idea. I don't know
what was happening in 2015.
Yeah, I would have to
sit there and think. I don't know what
year I was arrested and I bet I'd miss by a year or two like i'm i'm really not sure i have no idea
i thought it was 19 is that right 18 damn we should know that would be such a funny
trivia question to put in when was fps russia arrested and you're like, ooh, this is a brain buster.
I genuinely couldn't tell you what year I bet.
I mean, if I started counting backwards right now,
like through places I've lived,
I would use something like that.
Okay, I lived that place for the next minute.
I'd have to do something like that.
I got to get this smoke out of here.
I'm getting nauseous again.
I'm just kidding.
Why did you do that?
I mean, like...'m getting nauseous again why did you do that why i mean like he's nauseous two and a half hours ago he's like this smoke is making me sick and then he turned on the smoke
machine again it's like what did you think would happen who could have guessed yeah but think of
how much the listeners will appreciate a bad camera for five minutes
they'll love it actually they probably are it is funny oh yeah they probably will laugh at it he's
gonna he's gonna be vomiting later tonight from the fucking poison nonsense says says 10 times
on that website outdoor use great for fucking ice skating r rings yeah you think anybody's like checking to see what they
put in the the smoke goo the fog goo like no they were just like oh this shit makes the biggest
smoke and if we say put it outside we don't have to have it tested parts per million it lingers
and doesn't go away you'll love it no you'll love it it's great yeah we were talking
about trivia i'm excited to do a little little trivia we could i mean kyle's one and oh right
now bless you my loss maybe you can avenge your loss i added in this time uh because i didn't do
it last time i added in that you can can steal points. So if you miss something,
and as long as it's not a multiple choice question,
you can't steal multiple choice questions
because that seems cheaty
because then it's just like you're picking out a three.
But if it's not a multiple choice question,
you can steal the points.
So I think that's going to be fun.
I'm so in.
Pull it up.
Let me go back.
Whoa, did he do like a slide presentation this time? It's going to be fun. I'm so in. Pull it up. Let me go back. Whoa.
Did he do like a slide presentation this time?
It did.
Or is this maybe something Zach made?
I.
I think it's.
Zach did it.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
Zach confirming that I did this.
You're all very welcome.
For my heart.
I like it. I got excited. Thank you, Zach. Yeah. Zach did this. Big shout out, Zach confirming that I did this. You're all very welcome. I like it.
I got excited.
Thank you, Zach.
Yeah, Zach did this.
Big shout out, Zach.
Thank you very much.
In the future, we're going with Taylor's Trivia Titans,
but this is good for now
because I want to be able to call you guys my Titans.
All right, Woody.
And I'll ask that you let me read the question for the listeners before you answer. And any non-multiple choice can be stolen by your opponent. And I love the picture, Zach. You killed it. Woody, in the season four episode, Mr. Plow, what is the name of Barney's rival snow plow business? Is it A, Dr. Plow, c plow king or d mr snow c plow king final answer
that is correct yeah it is there we go all right love that all right i i gave him two
he did give you two so i'm gonna give him give him two points on your one. Kyle, zero.
All right, Kyle.
In the season five episode, Cape Fear,
what opera does Bart trick Sideshow Bob into performing in order to escape?
Is it La Boheme, the HMS Pinafore, Don Giovanni, or Tosca?
Well, of course, Taylor, it's B, HMS Pinafore.
Correct.
That is correct.
I knew you'd know that.
We grade on a scale.
I did.
I did.
Even after writing the questions, I went back and I'm like, damn, this one's way harder.
But you got it.
Woody, which of the following years corresponds with the fall of the western
roman empire is it a 510 ad b 867 ad c 476 ad or d 397 ad
ad you say yes and it's encouraged k Kyle to try and throw him off the scent
if you think he's getting close to the correct one
B 867 AD
false
that's incorrect
that's incorrect
it is 476 AD
476
no chance to steal
because it's multiple choice it'd be too easy
I'm making up the rules as I go along.
We'll figure it out.
Kyle, which of the following years
corresponds with the founding of the Roman Empire?
Is it A, 27 BC, B, 103 BC, C, 81 AD, or D, 149 AD?
149 AD?
Ooh, incorrect.
I thought you'd get it because you've been watching Rome. That's 27
BC. That's A.
Oh no, no, no, AD!
No, no, no!
Of course it's not AD!
I was like, didn't he kill Jesus?
150 years after? Okay.
Was it 27? Because I would have said 103.
It's 27 BC. Okay, I'd have gotten it wrong
either way. I clearly knew it was
BC. I just... It didn't matter. It didn't matter. said 103 it's 27 bc okay i'd have gotten it wrong either way i i clearly knew it was bc i just
it didn't matter i didn't matter i had a coin flip but i was wrong either way
you guys dominated ufc too easily so i had to go a little harder woody in 2011 john jones defeated
quinton jackson via submission in what round did the fight end i'm'm not really sure. I'm going to say third. Third. Incorrect.
Kyle, chance to steal.
I just watched
something about this fight.
I feel like this is a multiple choice
question. Were Rampage's shorts red?
I don't know that.
I feel like this is a multiple
choice question, too. Let's just not
give them it because there's five rounds. Is it is it one two three or four or five yeah like it's not four
yeah i didn't think that through it was four yeah i would have guessed lower than three so again
okay no worries kyle in 2009 john jones was defeated by Matt Hamill due to illegal elbows. In what round did the
fight end? I take
issue with the question. It was deemed a no contest
of course. I'm afraid I didn't get that way to
troll you. I'm
guessing it happened
let's call it the third.
For the record, I would have
said second. It was the first round.
The first round that he
missed that one. Alright, I gotta go easier on the UFC ones then. R first round that he missed that one.
All right, I got to go easier on the UFC ones then.
I mean, rounds things happen.
It's hard.
This now discontinued energy cola was known for a red and white can with the tagline twice the caffeine.
I'm actually not sure.
Is it jolt?
Holy shit, yes.
It's jolt.
All right.
Yes, he's talking about enjoying joel cola
yeah well you get your own energy cola kyle this now discontinued energy cola caused controversy
with its name and branding oh i know it is it cocaine it's cocaine yeah I'll knot it up at two.
I remember I've had a can of cocaine.
Oh, those are good questions.
Woody, Rod Brindamore played for three teams in his NHL career.
Which of the following is not one of them?
The St. Louis Blues, the Carolina Hurricanes, the Detroit Red Wings, or the Philadelphia Flyers?
Brindamore was a great player, so I'm going to say
A, St. Louis Blues.
Incorrect. He played for the
Blues to start his career. It was the Detroit
Red Wings.
At least I gave him
a Blues dig.
And one point
deducted.
Kyle, MLB pitcher
Greg Maddox played for six teams in his career which of the following
is not one of them the Atlanta Braves the LA Dodgers the San Diego Padres or the New York Mets
was the Dodgers nope he played for the Dodgers he'd never played for the Mets never played
I'm picturing him wearing that Mets cap.
Okay.
I can see him wearing it.
Blue and orange.
Woody, this German dish contains probiotic properties.
I don't even believe in probiotics.
Are they proven by science?
I'm going to guess sauerkraut.
That's correct.
Sauerkraut. Oh, Kyle is eager for the steel on that one.
He's too quick.
Too quick.
Kyle, from what type of fish is lox traditionally made?
This seems like a Kyle question.
He doesn't know.
Lox.
Maybe don't put a picture of it
in the fucking...
Sardines?
I want to steal.
Chance to steal! Salmon.
Salmon, Woody is correct.
Smoked salmon. I can see it in the picture.
That's what I'm saying.
There's salmon in the picture.
What do you mean? The swimming form of it?
I don't understand.
I don't understand the question
even.
What are lots?
That's like a bagel with salmon.
Aren't the lots those little
green things?
No, those are capers. Lox is the smoked
salmon that
goes on it. Lox is the dish
and it's made with smoked salmon it's like a jewish
dish it's good i like smoked salmon and the capers are nice too but yeah now you know i thought those
were layups i thought i thought those we should just stop now stop the count yes all right and
this one like this next category is a little subjective. It's my preferences.
Woody, what is the worst condiment?
Is it ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, or hot sauce?
And now this is my preference.
And I've written these ones down, so I can't be accused of switching last second.
The worst condiment.
Taylor's idea of the worst condiment.
I remember we had a conversation.
Mayo.
C. Mayo.
That's correct. Mayo is
the worst condiment out there.
All the other ones are alright there.
That's another point for Woody.
Woody running away with it.
Kyle, which of the following
ships is worse?
It's so much harder!
It's because I was writing his
For those of you who are listening,
he's got a huge array of chips.
Okay.
None of the pictures have anything to do with me.
He added all these pictures.
So which of the following chips is worse
according to me? And we talked about this on the show.
Is it Pringles, Ruffles, Lays, or Cape Cod?
I'm going to say Pringles.
Pringles is correct.
Kyle's back in the game.
We hate that.
And you could have found the plan.
Can I say again, trick question for the second time?
Pringles aren't chips.
They're in the chip section of the store?
They're compressed potato shavings pressed
peanut sweepings yeah they're yeah that was correct five to three big one there there aren't
i don't think there's any more subjective one i love the random ass photos woody george hw bush
lost the presidential election in 1992 who was his vice presidential candidate oh my god it's the politics
section i'm going to know this oh dan quayle dan quayle woody with a swish we call him the genius
did you know it kyle easily yeah yeah i had to think about it. All right, Kyle. Al Gore lost the presidential election in 2000.
Who was his vice presidential candidate?
Oh, no.
I thought these were pretty even.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, this should be Al Gore.
2000.
George Bush and Dick Cheney.
Gore. George Bush and Dick Cheney. Cool.
I'm not going to get it.
Oh, no.
Do you want to phone a friend?
Yes.
All right.
Taylor.
See, this is tough.
I got to go with...
I'm doing a quiz show,
and it's clearly been fixed.
And I was wondering if you could...
I'd like to steal.
All right, I got to give some answer.
Was it Al Gore lost the presidential election?
Who was his vice
president candidate uh oh whoa um it was the um um was the jewish guy um lieberstein i'm gonna go
with joe lieberman because i actually know joe lieberman is correct. It was a Jewish guy. I'm going to give half a point for Jewish.
And then Woody gets the other half a point.
That's not fair. So it is.
You're going to have to take half.
Okay, okay.
All right, Woody.
This is the movies, movies section.
This controversial Civil War epic was released in 1915.
Name that movie.
Gone with the Wind.
Yes.
Incorrect.
Incorrect.
Kyle, Chance to Steal.
1915.
This is way before Gone with the Wind.
It is seen as racistist birth of a nation
Birth of a nation Kyle up to four and a half
Points
That's big that's big
That was hard now here's your
I've never seen that
I had to see it in school and it was boring as shit
It was like four hours long and there's nothing
But you but slavery stuff
Kyle Stanley Kubrick released
his ninth film in 1971
name the movie
am I crazy or did Kyle
get two in a row
wait
go back
no he stole
he stole it I got mixed. I should be a better
host.
At least I was the only crazy one in the room.
I guess
I don't know, but my guess
is going to be
I shouldn't talk too much
about this because he's about to steal.
Kyle's up to four and a half points, by the way, Zach.
71. much about this because he's about to steal i was up to four and a half points by the way zach uh 71
he doesn't want a space odyssey incorrect we talked about it earlier it's a clockwork orange
well you didn't get a steal though because you gave me the answer all right you know what i was
about to say the shining so I didn't let it go.
For me, it was between Clockwork and
2001. That was my mistake.
Both of you get an additional half point, so it's now
seven to five.
You can get that updated.
Woody, name
the arachnid horror that Sam
and Frodo encounter on the final
leg of their journey to Mount Doom.
It might start with a B.
The name of it. They avoid the name through most
of the film. I just don't know. I don't know. Kyle Chance to steal.
Oh, no. I don't remember it
right off the top of my head, unfortunately. I think it's a girl.
I usually do. It is a girl.
It is a girl. She-Lob.
She-Lob, that's correct.
Nicely done. Very nice.
That's six to seven. Kyle clawed his way
back from the basement. Now he's in the mix.
How many questions are there?
150. 21.
Kyle, this whimsical
woodsman is featured in the Lord of the rings books but not the movies
not this guy that's a harry potter guy
first i was like hagrid this is so easy uh tom bobadil
all knotted up at seven my god folks isn't this a treat to see these two titans bashing one another?
No, 7-7 because I gave you both half a point because of my mistake after the previous half point
because Kyle got the Jewish part of Joe Lieberman correct.
Okay.
And that's where I have a point.
I can picture his bald head and his little face.
His little face.
Woody, according to Worldometersometers which of the following is not
a top 10 country by population nigeria egypt bangladesh or russia not a top 10 country by
population well i'm pretty sure it's not a nigeria's had a population explosion.
Bangladesh is staring at me, but I worry if it's one of those like Singapore has a way higher population than you might guess.
Russia's
population density is really low, but it's a big country.
I feel like Bangladesh
is like the trick
part of this question
you would think it's
Bangladesh but it's not
I'm gonna say
Egypt
Egypt is correct
nice Bangladesh was the tricky one Egypt. Egypt is correct. Nice.
Bangladesh was the tricky one.
I was like, I need to put a tricky one in there.
Kyle, according to Worldometers,
which of the following is not a top 10 country by land mass?
Is it Brazil?
You're locking in Argentina?
Yeah.
Incorrect.
Mongolia.
Mongolia. Mongolia was enormous. I thought it was pretty big too. Yeah. Incorrect. Mongolia. Mongolia.
Mongolia was enormous.
I thought it was pretty big, too.
Nope.
I looked at the list.
Argentina is bigger.
Woody.
This combat tactic popularized by the Greeks features heavily armed infantry in close, deep ranks.
I know Kyle's going to know
this. If I don't get it, he's stealing
it and we're tied again.
I want to say that
phalanx, but isn't
that a Roman thing?
For lack of a better answer, I'm going to
say the phalanx. I don't know.
That's correct.
I thought that might be one that Kyle got to steal. For lack of a better answer, I'm going to say the phalanx. I don't know. That's correct. That's correct.
I thought that might be one that Kyle got to steal.
The English military initially refused the use of this weapon due to the idea that it didn't require skill.
What is the crossbow?
What is the crossbow?
Correct.
You guys, military history is excellent.
the crossbow. Correct.
Damn. You guys' military history is excellent.
Woody, which of the following states
does not border South
Dakota? I'm so glad this isn't me.
This is the one that's meant to look easy, but it's hard.
Is it...
Which one does not border South Dakota? Is it Nebraska,
Montana, Iowa,
or Colorado? Colorado.
I forgot the answer yes it's Colorado
oh damn Woody heating up I was there like three weeks ago we need to graph for it yeah I figured
give him Woody the western ones now okay no Don't show that. Close your eyes.
Why did you show a picture of the map?
Which of the following states does not border Tennessee? Instead of a picture, it'll just say like B, stereo or whatever.
That's hilarious.
Which of the following states does
not border Tennessee?
Is it Mississippi, Missouri,
South Carolina,
or Arkansas?
Three of those states border Tennessee. One of
them does not.
Mississippi, Missouri. I'm saying
it again because Kyle has his eyes closed because
the picture is giving it away. Mississippi,
Missouri, South Carolina, Arkansas. Fuck! it again because kyle has his eyes closed because the picture is giving away mississippi missouri south carolina arkansas
fuck i feel like it's missouri because it's further west but missouri borders every state
touches all that shit i've made this drive
oh i made this drive but arkansas seems so fucking far away because Alabama and then Arkansas
but I know it touches
Arkansas touches for sure
it's which one does not
so you've ruled out Arkansas
so Mississippi, Missouri, and South Carolina
are the remaining three
you were helping him you silly head
I was saying he ruled it out
I'm not saying that's right
I'll say Mississippi
Mississippi incorrect it is south carolina mississippi directly under it oh you can see
it in the picture you can see it in the picture no because i lived there i wasn't looking at the
picture i when i did that i picked the western ones and i'm like woody drives out there all the
time these are fair for him and i was like i going to pick ones real close to Kyle's home base.
Are you sure that North Carolina, or excuse me, Tennessee does not border with South Carolina?
Could you do a quick Google search?
See right there, the bottom right one?
The bottom right.
That one's South Carolina.
Well, that just solves that, doesn't it?
I see that very clearly.
That's 10 to 8
i preferred that that was funny i would love it what is it called the movie poster like isn't
there a word for that like the thing they have maybe at the movie theater in a frame oh yeah i
don't know he should have that as this thing's picture. You should.
Woody, HBO released the first episode of this horror series starring Anna Paquin in 2008.
I swear to God.
True Blood.
True Blood is correct.
He only has like three favorite shows.
Woody, what color is your own hair hbo's first attempt at a one-hour drama series released in 1997
setting the stage for later success of the sopranos and other hour-long series
hbo's first hour-long drama series.
Go through the list.
Incorrect.
It's Oz.
The Wire debuted after The Sopranos.
Oh, no chance to steal, but okay.
Oh, fuck. I'm not good at this.
Woody, this is
over or under or above
or higher or lower. That's what I wrote down.
I like this. The total
number of Simpsons episodes,
is it higher than 725
or lower than 725?
Wow. It's about 725 or lower than 725? Wow.
That's it's about 725.
I think that's what I picked it.
That is how they do higher and lower.
I gotta go higher because I'm going to go higher.
I don't know.
Correct.
It's 752.
I'd like to steal.
Now, Kyle, it's 752 I'd like to steal I'd like to steal now Kyle
the number of supernatural episodes
is it higher or lower
than 350
higher or lower than 350 supernatural
episodes I think they did
like 20 fucking seasons.
Like, they did so many.
I want to say that it was more than 350.
All right, that's incorrect.
It's 3...
Yeah, Woody with a chance to steal.
It's 327.
I picked a number like 25 away from both.
Yeah.
Make it more fair.
All right, Woody.
Higher or lower?
Years since the death of Charlemagne.
1,100.
Recently.
1,100 years.
Higher or lower?
Years since the death of Charlemagne.
I mean, we're thinking of different Charlemagnes, clearly.
the death of Charlemagne?
I mean, we're thinking of different Charlemagnes, clearly.
Lower.
Incorrect.
It's 1206 years since the death of Charlemagne. R.I.P.
Kyle, years
since the death of King Henry
VIII. Is it higher
or lower? We're in the coin flipping section
of the quiz. Higher. higher or lower? We're in the coin flipping section of the quiz.
Higher. Higher.
It's a four. Higher.
That's correct. Kyle.
Kyle's better at flipping coins.
Alright, this is the specialty round.
Woody.
This is so easy for me.
Which of the following
is not a brand of paramotor
equipment? Air construction,
paraflight, scout, or nirvana be paraflight paraflight's correct i thought it would be harder
all right
which of these is not a firearms manufacturer?
Which of the following is not one of America's top five firearm manufacturers? Is it Smith & Wesson, Sig Sauer, Ruger, or Taurus?
Taurus.
Taurus is correct.
Taurus is correct.
That's 10 to 12.
10 to 12. 10 to 12.
Woody, what type of beer do Hank, Bill, Boomhauer, and Dale drink in the alley in King of the Hill?
What's the brand of beer they drink?
He's just trying to cheat.
Miller?
Incorrect.
Kyle, chance to steal.
Alamo beer is correct for Kyle.
There we go.
There's the bing for Kyle.
Is that a real beer?
No.
All right, Kyle.
In which state do Peggy Hill's parents reside in the show King of the Hill?
Which state do they reside?
A number of episodes about it.
Could I pick the city for bonus points?
Wow.
Is it Phoenix, Arizona?
I genuinely don't know.
No, it is Montana.
They have a horse ranch in Montana.
Not that I knew it, but you are forgetting about the steel thing.
Yeah, I am forgetting about the steel thing.
I did interrupt him.
You don't want to get him for those.
Yeah, you want to snatch me out of the air for the steel ones.
Yes, it's 11-2.
I get in the microphone from Joe.
Hey, hang on.
Well, I'm a first-time game show host.
I'm learning.
Bob Barker.
Two days ago, you were lying.
You know Bob Barker.
That was a dry run.
Louis Anderson.
Oh, you fucking asshole.
Is it Family Feud?
Oh, at least I looked like Louis Anderson.
Oh, no, but you're the Louis Anderson
of Game Host.
Oh, okay, the bad one. Yeah.
Woody, what Marvel film
was released between Captain America
Civil War on May 6,
2016 and Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2, May 5, 2017.
There's only one Marvel film released in between Captain America Civil War and
Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2.
I'm going to guess Avengers.
Incorrect.
Was it Ant-Man? Oh oh good guess incorrect dr strange dr strange was the one in
between those kyle what marvel film was released between black panther 2018 february and ant-man
and the wasp july 6th 2018 2018. Only one Marvel movie was released.
I remember I was on a flight watching.
I watched Ant-Man and the Wasp.
Black Panther, I was real mad about.
That's when I started.
Let's see.
That's when I started.
Black Panther and then,
what Marvel film was released between 2018 and 2018? Okay, so it's the first Black Panther and then what Marvel film was released between 2018 and 2020?
Okay, so it's the first Black Panther.
So they're going to put him in
the Avengers?
Do I need to get the right Avengers movie?
I guess it would be Avengers...
Would it be
Civil War?
Avengers Civil War?
No, it's Avengers Infinity War.
Avengers Infinity War.
I didn't know Avengers Civil War was a movie.
It's not.
It's Captain America Civil War.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Again, no steel.
Well, you're winning.
You're winning.
Okay.
Sorry.
Woody, this president signed the Camp David Accords.
Goodness, I do not know.
Roosevelt.
Incorrect.
Kyle, chance to steal.
Kennedy?
Incorrect.
It was Carter.
It was Carter.
This chance to steal is really inconsistent.
Well, I'm giving out half points and shits next next i know i do this i'm gonna be very i know this one so i would like the chance to steal
well this is your question silly head this president is known to hold meetings while
shitting kyle uh was it lb? It was. Lyndon Johnson.
Yeah, it was an alpha move.
Sit right there, boy, and write this down.
I went to Harvard, sir.
All right.
Woody, list these countries
in order of population,
high to low.
Germany, France, South Korea.
South Korea, Germany, France.
Incorrect. Hmm., Germany, France. Incorrect.
Chance is to steal.
France, Germany, South Korea.
Incorrect.
It's the same order that's on there.
Because they're in.
Germany, France, South Korea.
I knew South Korea was lowest because they're having this whole population crisis they're trying to solve with giving people money to fuck.
Yeah, and they're not giving them enough money.
You're not thinking of Japan?
Maybe South Korea, too.
I think the whole world, but I think South Korea in particular is doing a thing.
I know Japan is as well, though.
Okay.
All right.
Kyle, list these countries in order of population high to low.
Italy, Colombia, Spain.
Italy, Colombia, Spain.
I'm going to say Italy,
Colombia, Spain.
That's correct.
I would have.
You know how I got this one?
Let me tell you the secret.
Look at me. Cities are in the country.
Look at the population density.
It's right there.
That was good. what did it finish at
Zach
was it 13 all
maybe
really wow a tie
a tie
goes to show how
fair
the questions were
okay as we were going through those I was like fuck show how fair the questions were.
Okay, as we were going through those, I was like, fuck,
Kyle's are harder.
It's because I would come up with a category and
then write Woody's first, and then I'm like,
alright, what's another thing to ask about that?
So next time I'm going to go back
and forth. Kyle first sometimes, Woody
first sometimes. I like the idea of these games, and I love trivia.
I do like the idea, and hear and i love trivia i do like the
idea and hear me out here of woody and i both having marker boards that we could write our
answer on and reveal simultaneously thus doing half the questions and of course we we get some
where oh woody like like you'd be you'd be like i said lieberstein it'd be funny to watch me
misspell weberstein and like like mark and like I draw a Jew.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like a Star of David and a hastily
drawn Jew head.
You know, it's like, come on. He looks like Larry David
kind of.
I like that idea. I will say that if we
do that, maybe fewer than 21 questions
because it'll slow things down.
It would speed things up. It's half the questions, right?
So we have to do a question for each of us yeah yeah yeah yeah you know a little dry erase
and a marker board maybe that could be cool um yeah pictionary could be fun charades charades
fun i love games i love i love all the games well you guys both did great you're both trivia
titans this week 13 yeah i'm i think but what do you and i both protest the results.
What is your protesting in the results?
It wasn't fair for either of us at any point.
Well, I tried.
You did great.
I had fun.
We applied your results.
I feel like the ref was biased against me.
It's because I kept forgetting to do the chance to steal on the first question,
and then I would be reminded, and so I would always do it on the second question.
All right, you know, that's on me.
That I didn't abide by the rules of my own game 100%. But also it evened out because I didn't realize how much harder that gun question was
than the paramotor one.
Oh my god. I was like...
But wait.
I'm not sure that's true.
It was Kyle's area
of expertise and my area of expertise.
I just knew mine.
What was your question again?
Which of these is not a brand?
I'd have loved that one. Do the same thing, but for guns.
You see how easy that is?
Which of these is
not an automotive manufacturer?
Woody's like,
my Chevrolet.
There's no such thing.
My Chevy.
What was the hottest selling automobile
in 1971? Was it the Chevrolet,
the Ford, the Dodge, or the Chrysler?
I kind of want to read you the question.
You can buy all that stuff.
It was a gas crisis.
Woody, what was the Civil War movie
from 60 years before you were born?
I thought
that one was hard.
It's such a famous movie.
What was it again?
Birth of a Nation.
It's like an old slavery movie i've never seen it and i only
know like the title of it and i don't know what it's about i know it's black and white and people
think it's racist and i think there's a part where maybe the kkk is writing and they're the good guys
yes i think that is i think i think that's the scene i've seen we're like oh the kkk is here
they like write in like the cavalry.
And maybe they put like a Molly whopping on some,
some fellow of African descent.
But Kyle missed his movie question to the ninth Stanley Kubrick film.
I thought that was like,
if you asked me like the number of a film from the director,
I would have no idea.
It speaks to my,
my respect for your movie knowledge.
Let me give the year that question
because of the year i knew that it wasn't like so that lets me know okay it's not barry lyndon
and it's not eyes wide shut because that's like his first and last movie or like nearabouts but
i don't know what happened in the middle i just have to think 70s and i picture the 70s like i
was talking about earlier how you imagine a decade and it's like, 2001, like after the moon
landed. It's a sepia tone
time. Yeah, like
but clockwork
is the one I wanted to say, but somehow I got
drug over to 2001.
Next time we do
the little slideshow, Zach,
put in bold at the top
of all of them, chance to steal.
So that I don't forget the rules of the trivia game.
There's no excuse because that's kind of basic bitch trivia.
I can't believe I thought South Carolina, border Tennessee.
That's awful.
I live here.
I thought that that was a real easy one.
I had a little knowledge.
I'm like, man, Kyle's are a little bit tougher than Woody's.
I'm going to give Kyle States right in his home turf i didn't think i live here
mississippi that's right next to it i i think i've talked about this before how when i imagine
the the states that are to the west of georgia and to the east of texas it's just this mismatch
of stupid fucking pieces of shit people a lot of people do that to the northeast
and yeah like up in new england you can yeah you're like connecticut rhode island massachusetts
like connecticut vermont do that like 69ing thing and i can't always remember i don't know which
one's you're thinking of new hampshire and vermont exactly connecticut's the big chunky one up there
it's that big bitch next to anyway down here down here i'm the same way i
know what louisiana is shaped like because it's got character and it's you know it's like an l
with some like phalange hanging off or something you can remember vermont is a v next to new
hampshire no one's ever mentioned that it's the more v-shaped one well that's permanent um
but uh raising yeah and i know alabama's touching us but as far as arkansas
i don't even i couldn't tell you anything about arkansas like not a damn thing i love those maybe
half a dozen times that moment we just had i love those like vermont's a v-shaped cow goes that's
permanent it reminds me in uh supinate and pronate i was just gonna say that
if people don't know supinate is when you like do a bicep curl and pronate is when you do it that way
and uh i could never remember it and those words aren't like descriptive there's no root or anything
that means anything but supinate is the one you hold soup palm up yeah permanent i'll know it
forever yeah that's good yeah i want to do more geography questions if
they stump you oh those are that is our weakest all right so geography is by far my weakest
category yeah but when you do populations it's like it's a hundred percent a coin flip for me
i have no fucking clue how many people live anywhere like not at all and the size of those
places doesn't matter and africa can
be particularly misleading because you never know if they're the the ones that fuck a lot or the
ones that starve a lot like yeah or is it both all right uh niger are they fucking or starving
what are they are you the hungry ones or the horny ones great oh yeah nigeria is the the fucking exploding population
most of africa's growing pretty quickly i think but i don't yeah i didn't pick interesting is
africa the next china like a cheap source of labor where things explode could be maybe
i've got that huge infrastructure uh yeah china's got a lot
how much money do they pump into africa like it's like hundreds of billions of dollars worth
of infrastructure and it's not the beltway or the global belt or the one belt initiative i forget
i feel like zach would know yeah that's what you're talking about right yeah that's what i'm
talking about they're huge global, that's what I'm talking about. They're a huge global infrastructure funding thing.
And road initiative.
Yeah.
I thought the population ones were easy.
It's good to know your guys' blind spots for it.
No.
And like I said, if it's like, what year did this happen?
That's not a good thing.
That's not going to help much.
That's not going to help much at all.
Like I said earlier, I don't remember what year things happened at all at all no memory like
like nailing down exactly which year maybe i can get within five years i can do that with movies
like what year did this movie come out i'll even play that game with myself as lame as it is i'll
flip through here's the game i play i get on like whatever streaming service and i'm just flipping
through the posters and i try to i try to name the movie and the year it was made by the poster
um like just by the poster and then um and then for bonus points like all the actors and directors
and stuff like that's the kind of trivia that i that i really like like because i can i can do
that really well if you don't ask me what year they've shown me like a model of camaro and like
camaro is not a good example,
but a model of a car.
Are you asking what year the Steelers won something?
I don't know anything about that.
It's like a huge blind spot.
I have no idea who won what,
when I avoided most sports stuff,
but I,
I,
I purposely was like,
all right,
Woody knows Rod Brindamore and Kyle.
I,
the only baseball player I know he's mentioned half a dozen times is this guy, Greg Maddox. So I looked up his Wikipedia and was like all right woody knows rod brindamore and kyle i the only baseball player i know he's mentioned half a dozen times is this guy greg maddox so i looked up his wikipedia and
was like what teams has he been on and just listed those i feel like i'm waiting for taylor's troll
like he's you know woody cubs it's what like natalie portman and who's the one she looks
just like kira knightley yeah are these the same people or different people
that that is a hilarious idea for a trivia and kyle's like chase the steel
yeah that's the that the whole game is kira knightley or uh natalie portman and it's like
movies they did it's like in the movie in the film domino she plays a uh um what is it when
you a bounty hunter who does a sexy uh lap dance early on kira knightley or natalie portman this
is a real movie dude i wanted to write pokemon questions so bad but i know you guys can't i
would have known kira knightley on that one i I haven't seen that movie. Who's the hotter one?
They're both hot.
Which one is it?
Keira Knightley is the one who's in that old-timey.
No, it was early 2000s. It was a movie where she's running around in a crop top leather band around her,
swinging swords and shooting bows and arrows.
It's not Natalie Portman. It's Keira Knightley.
Do you remember that?
It's like a
wartime movie.
What war?
Space war? Fantasy war?
She's like a Viking kind of person.
Viking person running around.
What the fuck is the name of that movie,
Zach? Are you talking about Pirates of the
Caribbean? No, it was before that.
I mean, that's pretty good.
She's swashbuckling and shit.
I came up with a Natalie Portman movie
where she is period peace with a sword.
I mean, she did the big one with the...
What do you call it when the Christians go over
to get the Muslims?
The Crusades.
The Crusades.
She did that one with the guy with the big dick that plays
Legolas. Did she have a sword
maybe in Thor?
That's not even her. That's Eva
Green in Kingdom
of Heaven. That's a great movie.
With Salah ad-Din.
Totally Natalie Portman.
What the fuck movie was that?
A Tale of Love and Darkness?
That came out in like...
King Arthur. That's what it was.
She played Guinevere in King Arthur.
Do you see that? Are you talking about
a newish remake of King Arthur?
No, it's 2004.
Yeah, that's a shitty movie.
But I remember being like 13
and watching her
running around dressed up in that
and just being like
so horned up for Keira Knightley,
like being like,
Oh my God,
that's the hottest woman of all time.
And I'll never get to have her because I'm 13.
And well,
not that age was the limiting factor.
She's famous and pretty,
but,
um,
you say that it was,
um,
my friend was on her Facebook. what's his name like like you
i wish i could remember his name because you'd remember he was a gamer that gamed with us not
but i remember he like went to a party that she was at and got on her and they like exchanged
social media and then he would have it's not jaws no no it's none of those people he wasn't
a celebrity person he was just a regular like good looking fella uh but but he um but he was like
what what what do i what do i write to her i have the opportunity to shoot my shot like i have her
on facebook and it was and i don't remember what we decided to say someone i game with
it was a maybe his name was like matt ryan or something his name was
like his gamer tag was like just his fucking name or something like that it was like matt ryan or
just something like that this has been 14 years ago so i'm struggling with his gamer tag god
damn it i want to do trivia i i asked today because I was prepared to make trivia for you.
And then you were like, no, no trivia tonight.
And Chiz was like, oh, actually, I want to do this whole other thing and I'll do it all.
And I was like, all right, well, I'm hands off then clearly.
And then you come in with the trivia ready to go.
And I don't have the champion round.
See, I was prepared for Woody to beat me.
And I could be like, but the champion round now begins.
Five questions to determine the
winner and I was going to have like five for
you but I didn't but I didn't
know there was going to be trivia until like
20 minutes before the show and take a shower and
all that stuff so I hope listeners like that that
was fun you know yeah I enjoy your job
everyone is the host next no I
I thought that was like
an eight out of ten for job
there you know like yeah we'll get 9.
It's like a B.
It's a B.
That's solid.
I've had a question forever.
What are you better at than 90% of people?
Talking.
That's probably the one.
I don't know.
If I meet new people, and I think it's important that we have.
They like me.
I think I'm pretty decent at that.
I can be pretty charming.
You know, if you meet me the first time, I can I can do that.
That was an outstanding acquaintance.
I like.
Outstanding acquaintance.
If I meet if I meet a new person, I know what they want to talk about right away they want to talk
about themselves and and and they want me to pull it out of them in a way and then when they deliver
they want me to respond the right way and i think i'm pretty good at that like my daughter has the
same superpower like yeah she goes to a new place everybody likes her yeah um and then things like i
don't know like you know what mine was i didn't what percentage
of people i'm sorry 90 i said 90 yeah so top 10 percent mine was a bow climbing like not not like
mountain climbing but like climbing a rope or pull-ups like i'm just he's a monkey yeah he has
a fucking skill it's it's what it is lower body is tremendous, and he has that short upper body,
and it's just like no work for him.
He's like a cinch worm.
They call me the cinch worm.
Every so often, I'm like,
if you lose your athleticism as you age,
and I'm like, do I still have this?
And yeah, that one I'm going to keep for a while.
Yeah.
Well, I think any talent that we have,
like automatically,
like you beat 90% of the people if you put any skill into anything.
Like I bet I bet I know you ride bikes better than 90% of the people because you have 10% percentage that rides at all.
Yeah. And then, you know, you beat you begin to ice skate better than 90% of people because there's probably what 70% of people who can't do it at all.
I can I can get across without falling.
I won't fall.
I will not be going fast,
and I will look awkward, but I won't fall.
And I will hit a couple of strokes.
There will be moments where I'm clearly skating
and not hobbling along.
Yep, he took a stroke.
He's looking at the glide.
And then I'll hit another it another one knows the terminology
do you ever skate and you're like what do i do with my hands like like it's not that i need a
tripod to hold myself up the stick but i feel like holding a stick is part of how i skate
yeah i maybe because i played goalie i didn't feel that way it's just like
when i would skate without anything i would just feel like naked out there it's like what do i do
with my hands like usually i've got a big glove both two big gloves on holding the stick a bunch
of pads and then also like skating around as a goalie with nothing on like your stride you look
like a fucking goober and you're like you're with that weight like right like like yeah like you'd be pushed more laterally
with goalie skates whereas player skates more like that and so you wear goalie skates out there
with no pads on and you look like a guy you're the best skater who doesn't look like a good skater
is what you look like as a goalie when you're skating i've always so everyone says the goalie is the best skater in
the team that's like a thing that you hear a lot and i'm like what he's not the fastest uh he can
drop to his knees and stand again probably better than everyone else um but like best skater is hard
to define and i always like well you know like i don't think he has the best cardio. I don't think. And like, it's like small movements.
So like stopping very quickly and pivoting back with your whole body, like on the ground sliding, as opposed to like keeping both blades like a player would and jumping back and forth.
That's just what I would.
That's always like he's the best care of the team.
Well, he's the best at goalie stuff.
The goalie.
Yeah, he is the best at goalie stuff. The goalie. Yeah, he is the best at goalie stuff.
But you know if you play hockey that every once in a while
they'd be like practices where it's like,
all right, well, we just finished our last tournament
and this is one of our last practices.
So who wants to play goalie?
And someone's always like, oh, I'll be goalie.
It's like, all right, Taylor, give Johnny your pads
and he can be goalie. It's like, all right, Taylor, give Johnny your pads and he can be goalie.
And everyone thinks they can play goalie and everyone's dog shit at it.
Suddenly they start sliding laterally to the left and they're eight feet out of the goal,
turned around out of position because they didn't dig in correctly on the pivot foot.
And it's like it's much harder than it looks.
Moving that quickly in a small small rapid area where you have to
be very aware of your angles with the net behind you that wasn't the part that made me suck at
goalie so bad but i did suck at goalie i felt like i could move side to side fine enough like that
wasn't but um stick handling dude an nhl goalie stick handles like a C level forward, you know, like beer league forward.
Um,
and I was like,
I don't understand why goalie suck at this so bad until like,
Oh,
first of all,
I'm like holding the stick backwards or something.
I have a baseball glove roughly on one hand and like a blocker on the
other.
I'm like,
Oh shit.
None of this equipment is meant to like shoot a puck.
It's terrible at it. it's meant to stop a puck
and
I don't know
moving him stick handling stopping
it like all the goalie stuff I was bad at
it was terrible
that's why you gotta specialize in it because it's
usually people don't jump in and do a good
job that's why they like
had to make a rule
for Martin Brodeur because he was so good at stick's why they like had to they had to make a rule for martin brodeur
because he was so good at stick handling that they're like you can't you can't do this like
if you don't like you don't know kyle like this goalie was so good at going behind the net like
because what you do in hockey is often you dump the puck in behind your opponent's net
and then that buys you a little time to rush in and then their defensemen are turning around but they're back to you chasing
that same puck and their defenseman and it's your forwards going in after the defenseman the
forward's going to be a faster forward skater than the defenseman turned around forward and so
basically the goalies comes around to the back of the net and stops the puck behind his own net
and then passes it to someone on his team to prevent the faster opposing teams forwards from getting there first and and mucking
up the works and usually the goalies wouldn't come out of their net super far because it was
too risky because they could fuck it up and and biff it one bad pass and there's an open net one
bad pass there's an open net and martin bradour was so good at it that he would go way out of his net sometimes,
way into the corners, everywhere, to grab the puck and then rifle it very, very accurately,
straight up to a forward and then get a breakaway or a two-on-one.
And it got so frustrating for the league, because he was the only goalie that could do it consistently,
that they made a rule called the Brodeur rule where they added lines to every ice surface
that were like, all right, goalies,
you can't play outside of these lines anymore.
And like every single goalie other than Martin Brodeur
was like, we already don't play outside those lines.
And he was like, this is bullshit.
This is not fair.
It was like cheat codes because he would transform
into a defender instead
of a goalie. That's why he was great.
Shout out him. He was one of my goalie
idols. He played for New Jersey.
Our favorite show
comes back next month
in just
30 short days for all mankind.
It comes back November 10th.
It does. I'm looking forward to it.
This is a series you could get on board
with us with, Taylor. I have a question. How does
the releasing work? Will we get 10 episodes
or is it going to do week by week dribbles?
I think it's week by week.
I think it's week by week, which is
maybe they do that thing
where they give you two or three to lead off.
That's always nice.
Amazon does that a bunch. I really like
that. It lets you dive into
a show and get the feel for it and you know before you let you know if you like it right away but
yeah i love for all mankind i'm looking forward to the new season last season was kind of crazy
and at the end of it they did a big jump forward in time like like the final closing scene i think
it's the 90s and margo has gray hair she's like much older oh i forgot and
she's in you know another country and yeah it's it's wild so uh it's it's great taylor my favorite
part happens in i think the third season i think there's three out now and the fourth is coming
um if i'm wrong then like whatever the most recent season is, it's the Mars race.
It's the Mars race.
And the way it comes together is really fun.
Because you've got these multiple superpowers
vying to get the first person on Mars.
I think this is not a spoiler, but it's interesting.
The superpowers are America, Russia, and a very rich man all of them
doing it their own way it's like yeah okay the rich guys on the same tier as two entire countries
that's crazy yeah just like that wealthy basically his own team you're not paid attention it sounds
right elon musk or nasa or cosmonauts like yeah and he goes in and poaches
a lot of the nasa people obviously because he has money he can pay more than your government gig so
he gets really good engineers and scientists who have material science knowledge and just kind of
steals them by paying them more yeah you know so uh it's it's interesting and just and uh you know
they have this big race to get to Mars and they land on Mars
I watched the first episode of that show
I need to go back to it and and watch more the earth the first season is probably my favorite because I like when it's just
Like fuck the Soviets beat us. This is so humiliating and and they're all like no, we're not gonna like take this line down
Let's get back in the cockpit and then they get all them bitches together
And it's like they're putting together like the sexiest group of astronauts they can i like that i i
like the show more because of some of the things kyle pointed out like oh because we stayed in the
space race technology advanced so it's like 1991 and they're facetiming each other right this isn't
that's like what 2016 stuff i don't know so I don't think
I might not have caught up pick that up on
my own but there's a bunch of little things like that
that I started looking for like oh this
alternate timeline where
we stay in a competitive space race
is interesting yeah
like big thing the way
that like smartphones
is it just AI like are we at the next big thing the way that like smartphones is it just ai like are we at the next big thing now
if they can find a fuel source like we'll see the thing that's driving them on for all mankind or a
big part of it if i remember correctly was they find a this fuel source is abundant on the moon
like maybe it's helium-3 or something i don't remember exactly but that there's a resource on
the moon that that's like resource on the moon that that's
like that's the shit that we turn into the other shit that powers our spaceships and it's like now
the moon is just a big gas station for us and so they're able to advance and i think they use that
stuff on earth for fusion energy so they've kind of solved a lot of the energy issues that earth has
so now they're really able to focus on this space shit
because basic energy needs are kind of met by their helium-3 fusion reactors that i assume
they have is that how the rich guy got rich no no that's how nasa self funds maybe um i think i
think it's probably a little bit of both uh but but again i haven't seen it since it debuted last
year or whatever.
I think you missed Taylor's question.
He was saying in real life, what's the next big technology?
Well, I'm saying you need something like that.
You need to be like, ah, turns out there's moon gold.
You know, like something that's worth.
If it's going to be up there, it's going to be something like that.
If it's down here, what's's gonna be the next explosion in technology?
Maybe AI but but hopefully it's like hopefully it's not in you know at a post-world war three
sort of sort of thing because we're really geared up for World War three because you've got Iran there right between Russia and
and Ukraine and
Israel like like playing middleman you got India and Pakistan who are very much against each other all the time forever. And they're split on
this issue, of course, with China right there playing antagonist there and the South Sea below
them. And then you got the Russians and the Chinese running drills together over disputed
waters up above Japan up there. Meanwhile, you've got us funding at least two but about to
be three proxy wars i think something's going on in africa and uh you know it's it's a little scary
because you've also got most of western europe looking a lot more like the middle east and
western europe uh demographically speaking so a a holy war might not look like what Western Europe
is accustomed to holy wars looking like this time.
So, you know, we're real close.
Just need a couple more sparks to get the ball rolling.
The Razor's Edge of World War III.
How fun.
That's one of my favorite songs.
Walk along the Razor's Edge.
That is? I'm going to put a trivia about what year was it released it's from a rocky movie so i'm gonna say like 1987 what what question are
you gonna ask me the rest is totally against me no it's gonna be it's gonna be a picture of
the home alone kid and it's to be pronounced this guy's name.
Spell this name.
Make him spell it.
Holy shit, I can't spell it.
I don't even know.
I kind of know.
I think it's Mick Calkin.
Macaulay Culkin?
But I don't know where one name ends and the other one starts.
For you, it's just like Arab script.
It just blends together.
There's an F in there somewhere.
Makhali.
I don't know.
I couldn't figure out how to do spelling questions.
Kyle, are you a good speller?
I'm a passable speller.
I will have these weird brain farts sometimes where basic words,
I'm like, wait a fucking minute.
But I think I'm a passable
speller i'm not high level um but but there are some words that that i'm i'm better at than i
should be i think i think i i it's not what were we just talking about spelling um macaulay Is it his last name is C-U-L-K-E-N? Culkin?
Is that it?
It might be.
I think it might.
I think it's I-N.
I thought you had it in front of me.
Oh, no, I don't.
I think it's C-U-L-K-I-N, but I could be wrong.
He's been acting more.
And he was on, he was in a season of American Horror Story. horror story is this really creepy. Oh yeah. As this really creepy, uh,
like vampire gay crackhead type character.
It was,
it was real disturbing.
Uh,
and,
and last season of American horror story,
it was something about that.
There were these vampires that like,
if you drank their blood,
you could get talent to do a thing.
I don't remember exactly.
It wasn't great,
but Macaulay Culkin was,
I liked seeing him do things. Where do you think world war three is gonna kick off probably portland
portland you know portland oregon yeah yeah i think the lawlessness up there is gonna get the
better of them and uh i think that uh canada's is gonna deem them a public uh health threat to
their to their country and they're going to invade most them a public health threat to their country,
and they're going to invade most of the Pacific Northwest.
And, of course, England will side with their firstborn, Canada,
and France will as well.
So you'll have basically the entire Atlantic coming after us.
And lo and behold, China's on our team this side.
They've had enough of those europeans and
we're gonna split yeah yeah we figure we draw a firm line right on their side of hawaii they get
everything to the left we get everything on the right they attack from the uh the west we attack
from the east we clean them all out i mean if we can if we can solidify an alliance all the things that have never happened this is not happening the most but if we get china on our war games this woody
we could we could fuck up the whole rest of the world with china on our team like realistically
what happens i think that uh if vladimir putin actually turned into a quote-unquote madman
and wanted to he's like you know what i'm gonna be in the history books one way or another and like he already is struck poland or something like you know kicked
off a real nato type response article 5 type okay we have to launch how many missiles at how many
cities type thing then like dominoes start falling over all over the world and iran would quickly be
like all right who are our enemies? Israel, this place,
that place. I feel like it could kick off real quick if any of the main, I'll call it modern
axis of evil players gets going full speed. And there's just too many conflicts right now. There's
so many opportunities for it, whether it's the South China Sea with China itself, or it's Russia's
ongoing war in Ukraine that just seems so messy,
like it could do lots of harm
to all sorts of neighboring countries.
And there's missiles flying around.
It's a miracle that, like, I don't know,
one hasn't flown into Poland or Lithuania
or some shit and killed 10,000 people
or something crazy.
Like, then there's the Middle East, obviously,
which is just... That's the middle east obviously where which is just
that's the craziest shit i've ever seen it's like that whole area i've seen
we gotta get we gotta get out of there there's nothing we've got to get out we've got to get
in taylor there's never good news happening in the middle east we're in there right now i bet
i i would bet uh serious money that like Special Forces are already there, probably on the ground.
As soon as they get any idea of where a hostage is, I bet there's Americans creeping around in the dark.
I heard Biden talking.
And by the way, I didn't like what he said.
But he's like, you guys are all asking me, how are we going to get these hostages out?
What are we doing?
He's like, if I tell you what we're doing
then we can't do it and i'm like what is your team six there like you're giving me a lot of
really good hints here you know it i get it you're taking it on the chin right yeah they are
think that you're not getting americans out shut the fuck up that will all stop when you get them
out don't i'm sure seal team six is like you just
made this 10 times harder you basically told them we're on our way how many americans are there 14
i think are hostages well that's the number i heard what do i know but yeah it fluctuates but
it's it's over a dozen alive americans probably taking hostage but it could be more it the numbers
are sketchy right uh but yeah they're definitely gonna have to go in there and get them yeah they sent like a naval there's like a navy's uh strike group right off the coast out there with
an aircraft carrier and when they send an aircraft carrier they send a bunch of missile boats and
stuff yeah well i don't know if it's there there but it's like on the way it's been long enough
now that it's i think it's there i mean i think if we it seems like if we start sailing somewhere
we're always like three or four days from your back porch
with one of our really big $5 billion boats.
I was about to say,
it kind of takes about two weeks to cross,
but then it's like,
do you think they started in Fort Lauderdale?
Virginia.
Say I'm from Virginia, boys.
Norfolk, wake up.
We must go.
Nah, it was like, yeah.
We gotta stop keeping our entire global fleet
in Corpus Christi.
It's a bad move.
Yeah, we've got, like,
people everywhere on the planet.
It's real fun to see the map of our bases
and the locations of our, you know,
potential locations of our nuclear submarines
and all the strike groups and aircraft carriers
and the power that we just have globally.
I really enjoy it.
I can't wait till we start cleaning them out.
You want to get out of the Middle East?
I want in there balls deep.
Not me personally, but, you know,
you know, look, I don't want to go play
in the national championship game, okay?
But I'm going to be rooting the fuck out of Georgia
when they get there, you know?
I don't want to take any hits, okay?
It's interesting. Do you ever run the math on, like, are you safe from the draft? the fuck out of georgia when they get there you know i don't want to take any hits okay it's
interesting do you ever run the math on like are you safe from the draft i used to i feel like i've
done it my whole life i'm so safe first with felony oh smart drug user i can't pass a test
this shit shows up on drug tests so all right that's a good point um what was i gonna say
oh so when you're 18 of course you're in the hot seat right you're the first person they want to
draft yeah but maybe when you're 16 it's even hotter because it'll take a year or two to kick
off the draft right if the war starts today they use the volunteer forces for a while before they start drafting maybe this is
just my math if you're like 28 then it's like all right i'm gonna draft until you're 30 that's not
bad you're certainly not frontline you're not their first choice by the time they get to 30
year olds you might be 31 32 um at 37 i feel like i mean you mean, you're going to be pushing 40 by the time they start drafting people.
Is there a cutoff, like a hard age where they're no longer or no?
The volunteer cutoff, I think, is 35.
Well, you're describing a global war where laws are going to get passed, where they're just going to say, what do they do in Ukraine?
Any man under 55, right?
Like, let's go.
I mean, I take your point.
You identify as what now, soldier?
Get in line.
Yeah.
You identify as private first class, asshole. Get that AK.
Zach wrote something interesting.
I'm an only son, and my son's
not above 18.
So I guess he
feels like his family status. Did that weigh
into it in Vietnam? Yeah, that is a
thing. An only son played into it in Vietnam, I remember it in vietnam yeah that is a thing an only son
played into it in vietnam i remember or you could say that was a thing who knows what the rules are
next time around i didn't roll in college just to make sure oh they'll change rules around if they
need people they'll change all the rules and be like hey we're taking up to 44 now i think the
college thing is definitely not going to happen because it was really a race, not a race,
a class-like
division.
It made Vietnam fought by
people who didn't go to college
and it almost
seemed like privilege is a better way to stay.
Wait till next time.
It'll always be that way.
No more student loans. We learned
from last time. You you gotta have cash if
you want to go to college and get your attention oh that'd be fun that's interesting taylor says
they'll always be privileged and i'm like oh they'll never do that again they really
caught they figured it out maybe they'll do privilege in a different way it'll the rich
people's kids like a senator's son isn't going to be on the front lines you know
we're not that would that might be a good way to like reduce likelihood of like going to wars is
like any federal politician who like votes us into a war has to have a blood relative fighting
i just i don't know why we would have a draft anyway because it seems like most of our military
jobs other than man with rifle who charges forward requires like years of training like if you're going to operate a piece of real
machinery that ain't a truck or a gun it's like years to make you that guy it seems like especially
even pilot or man with a rifle that guy too you can get man with rifle good and ready to go in
like three months like like he's good to to go out there and get some work done.
Maybe three months if he's already in shape.
There are other jobs that I could do right
now. Woody, 40 miles
behind the front line.
We need someone who drives trucks back and forth.
We take you
from the triage to the real hospital.
Drive that ambulance.
I'm like, oh, shit. actually, I could do that. Actually,
Nightwing, we've been reading your file.
This right here is the X3000
paramotor. It travels at a top
speed, if you're not going to believe this, 37
miles per hour.
We're going to be sending you deep,
deep behind in the lines, Nightwing.
I know you're
chomping at the bit, but please let me finish.
One time my buddy...
He's taken off already. He loves the fight.
I had a friend. He's still with my friend, but he's married and not the same situation.
But he would call me up and be like, Woody, Winslow Loft are like 60 miles an hour right now at 4,000 feet.
You want to go to virginia
and unless it was tuesday or thursday i'd be like yeah and i had a ride once i don't know
i think we went 120 miles in like two hours and uh it's like what size of new jersey yeah it's
like a 55 mile an hour tailwind at 5 000000 feet. So we just went out of space.
I wonder, Zach, help me with this information.
What does it take to join the IDF?
Like if you, if you're a foreign national and you want in,
do you just need a passport and a drive? Or do I need like a percentage of Jewish heritage blood, so to speak,
Jew blood to put it plainly?
Do I need,
how much Jew blood do I need to like be able to join up with the IDF?
They're like, Mr. Myers, we can't let you you in you can't show up with the blood and vials
my friend harley hooked me up he gave me a big bag of jew blood
he's so he's so tired he's so sleepy for the homeland uh because i know if harley were to like
get on a plane and and land in tel aviv they'd be like, all right, soldier, extra large helmet, huh?
They'd just throw him right in there,
because they're mustering right now hundreds of thousands of foot troops.
I think everybody knows military service in Israel is mandatory,
which means that all these 25-year-olds are veterans
and kind of ready to get right
back in the game i'm hearing the op what i'm hearing is that like the last like the current
class if you will or maybe for the the current generation of idf was complacent and ill-trained
and maybe they didn't have their eye on the ball or weren't motivated because i guess nothing
horrible has happened for a while,
but you know,
I've just,
I've been watching a bunch of CNN.
What's interesting.
What's going to be crazy.
They're all better than us though.
They,
they are ex military and knows how to,
I don't know.
I lumped you in there.
You can operate a rifle better.
I don't know.
I don't know anything about being in the military though.
I don't,
I don't know.
Like you'd say some military shit and you'd,
you'd be like this.
And I'd be like this and i'd be like well you want to go you want to go oh you're gonna kill me huh
oh let's fucking go let's take this shit off yeah
i came here to fight with you brother oh we're gonna have some
he's trying to tell me like down and be
quiet and cut it out and shit i don't know what this army man hand signals because i'm a fucking
guy that shot watermelons on youtube so um but i what i would say is that if they have three or
four hundred thousand man army that they're mustering that would seemingly be because
they're gonna maybe form a perimeter make
sure we're secure get get get the get the borders guarded but then invade then invade an area that's
the size of new jersey and is half the populations 18 or below right one of the most densely uh
populated areas on the planet they've been dropping whole neighborhoods for a week now um i mean just man
that that is some shoddy construction work it's almost like they made it out of mud brick
because no one lets them have building supplies but who knows but that they've been dropping whole
blocks of neighborhoods but so i think they're going to invade i think they're going to go in
with like boots on the ground door to door like we did in Fallujah.
When Russia was threatening to invade Kiev, Kiev, I saw this Ukrainian soldier being like, come, I dare you.
There'll be a rifle pointed out of every window.
Every civilian is an information source on your location.
It is not safe here.
Bring it.
And I don't know.
I was just like, holy shit.
And by the way, that all sounds true.
Not every window, but there will be snipers.
There will be.
All Russians are just going to get picked off in Kiev and they'll go guerrilla warfare on it.
Kiev.
Anyway, so they're going into gaza
and my knee jerk reaction my first thought was like dude israel's just way op in this right
they're gonna smash these guys and they have um combined arms and the whole nine
then it's like it's hard to beat a motivated bunch of guerrilla warfare guys
it is but if they're doing huge
carpet bombing raids and
I don't think Gaza even controls
their own water supply.
Let me speak on that.
If you control...
If I want to invade your house
and I control your food and your water,
there could not be an easier invasion.
I just wait
until you're destroyed counties
So in general the citizens of Gaza have like the an amount of water each that they have every day
It's below like there's some health organizations like a human being the exact same amount
They four liters of water a day for X Y and Z they get like two or something
Funny math, but you get my point
And so they have these big black rain barrels on the roof of every building. If you look, you'll see them. Big barrels. They're full of water because they're
storing up water because they don't have enough on tap daily. Of course, the other people do.
In any case, to be fair, though, they didn't build any water infrastructure for themselves.
And the Israelis have all the water and luck of the draw luck of the
draw and and look they're not selling the water okay okay they're giving it away so are you sure
no i'm not sure i'm making that up they're not selling the water when they got all the water
that'd be awful and And the Israelis are good.
Remember that there's a speech at the end of
Julius Caesar where, I think it's
Mark Antony. He's up there
and he keeps saying an awful
thing that
Brutus and Gaius has done.
Look how they rent
noble Caesar's body here.
Look at the wound there where Cassius'
blade stabbed, where Brutus'
wound fell.
But these
are noble men. Who can
deny that these are noble men? He keeps going back
to that. That's his fucking chorus
for the fucking song
of deception he's singing. It's beautiful.
It's one of my favorite things. I don't know Shakespeare,
but I know that speech. I love it.
I relish it. I play it all the time uh is it a tv show uh so they they don't do the speech
itself but what you get and i actually like this is they have common folk in a bar describing
having heard the speech they're like fucking bruce got there and he's all blah, blah, blah, economy, numbers, money, this and that.
And Mark Atney got up there.
Everybody likes Mark, you know.
At first, he was saying how what they'd done was good.
And then I started thinking maybe it wasn't.
And it's his slow-witted brain.
wasn't and it's like it's his slow-witted like brain like he's explaining how he was duped by the slickest guy in in rome because shakespeare's writing him um to to just completely win the crowd
over and turn a crowd that was there to be like yeah down with the dictatorship to one that was
like get those motherfuckers that fucked up caesar at the very end the crowd is incensed
they're roiling they're they're ready to get somebody and burn a fucking house and get their wives
too. And he's like, wait, wait, noble friends.
You have forgotten the will of Caesar
that you would bid me read. Give me a moment.
Let me read what Caesar has left unto you.
To each and every man, a hundred dinar.
And everybody's, ah, Caesar's so generous.
And he has left on to every Roman man to walk in his orchards and his parks and his gardens of leisure.
For all time they are given to the Roman people.
Ah, mighty Caesar. leisure for all time they are given to the Roman people of mighty
Caesar.
He's got them boiling by the end of it.
I love that fucking thing.
I think
Israel turned off the
water, food, and electricity
a couple days ago.
You don't last long with no water, food, and electricity.
Without
water, three days.
Right?
So, I know Kyle's like...
Well, they're not out of water.
They're just out of water pressure.
What's interesting is you can see as they run out of fuel for their generators.
Because at first, it was like, yeah, it's Gaza, that dimly lit place over there.
And it's like, that's Gaza, that place.
Yeah, you see a window there. And that's where the hospital is you can tell because they have
generators and now it's like yeah it's it's that dark murky land in the distance and i'm just
imagining like now that they've got the whole city or the whole place i don't know what to call it
region fucking blacked out now they can send in those fucking scary ass tier one ghost warriors that see
fucking your body heat and and shoot suppressed machine gun bullets in the night with robo dogs
and shit i i would i wish i could watch a movie about what's happening right now with special
forces and guys we just glossed over it they shut off their food water and electricity the hospitals they're dark now all those babies on intubators
they just died they're done everyone who needed electricity to survive in that hospital is dead
now that yeah it's unfathomable to me that like what a hospital with no power no no no they have
like backups and then the backups have backups they're out of power they're all those people
are going to die um and by the way imagine
the hospitals are quite busy right now you know yeah the ones that are standing so and no water
no water now kyle said no water pressure i don't know how to differentiate like
oh i was just kind of joking about their horrible situation more more of her saying that they've got
like those tanks of water so like they've got those tanks of water.
For now, they're probably rationing.
They're going to run out of water to drink and food to eat.
Like this weekend.
Some people are out of water this second and have been out of water for a couple days, I'm sure.
They're going to start fighting each other, perhaps?
I'm sure there'll be people who never run out of water.
They're like, yeah, I'm so much.
That guy might get shot by his friend.
I saw him using phosphorus last night.
He's a real dude.
Yeah, lots of...
Isn't that against the war rules?
Whose rules are you speaking of?
Yeah, exactly.
Even America sent cluster bombs to Ukraine.
And I was for that, by the way.
But those rules apparently seem pretty...
We didn't agree to that.
So the cluster bomb thing,
there's like three countries that didn't sign on.
And it's like us, Russia, and Korea or something.
Oh, that's the mine one.
But there's a bunch of them that are like that.
They're like, yeah, no,
we're not going to take our force-multiplying thing that cost that over day over the last few decades that kills the shit
Of you we're gonna keep using it. We're gonna keep using it phosphorus
Um, you'll see if you if you watch the footage you'll see little bits of white burning
Stuff falling down seemingly slowly, but if it touches you before the July
Yeah, if it touches you it you know, ituly yeah if it if it touches you uh it you know
it just burns you horrifically and it starts lots of fires too i'm surprised lots of guys isn't
burning already if they're using that i saw them use it out there you've probably seen that like
can i say the boats are the lagoonie area i saw him hit that with that stuff i just linked together
maybe you guys are i bet everyone listening to this is faster than me,
but I'm like,
Oh,
actually white phosphorus burning down on the billions on the buildings is a
rough combo with no water.
Like those two things work together.
Oh no.
Water,
water makes white phosphorus worse.
Actually the sand,
sand is going to help them here.
So I agree with what you're saying.
We have what we need,
but we have the rest of the building to concern ourselves with too.
And burning the building next to it.
Water is, I think, part of the solution.
Their primary building material seems
to be mud brick.
It does.
I don't think that they control their own
construction material.
Everything has to go through Israel, right?
I would imagine so.
I think so.
Everything else does.
The people do.
Yeah.
If water does, I would imagine.
It's an open air prison.
That's what Gaza is.
So let's just apply those rules.
I think they use mackerel as money.
They might be using macks because they clearly don't have access to anything that Israel
doesn't allow them to have.
Well, you know what he says.
Fuck around and find out.
I'm really struggling with that
and my own hypocrisy, right?
Because I'm like all about this Ukraine.
Obviously, we should go in there
and help, help, help.
And then it happens in Israel
and I'm like, you know,
neither side has a halo in this.
Like, I don't know if i'm right to say that
i'm pretty sure that's anti-semitic uh language you just used
that's wildly anti-semitic in my defense it comes purely out of ignorance
uh yeah i don't know it just the whole thing's awful uh it is is. I don't blame anyone for what they...
I don't blame the Israelis for what they're doing
because it's like you've got to be so mad
and just want blood.
If that happened here...
Now, I will say this.
My hands are a little bit cleaner than the Israelis are,
I would imagine.
But if that happened here,
you could imagine the hatred.
I know Woody remembers the motivation around 9-11.
You were mad at whoever did this.
We got to get that Osama bin Laden guy for sure.
We should torture that guy.
We should get him.
I don't care about the fucking rules.
I used to daydream about fighting Osama bin Laden
if that scenario would ever happen.
I used to consider...
All right, Osama!
We send you on you, Woody.
Rip and tear until it is done.
I didn't hear no bell.
Yeah, but
he's 6'6". He's long and lanky.
I don't know.
He comes out, you're like Lincoln,
right? He's got some long, underhanded
jab. He would come out like Lincoln. He was like
6'5", wasn't he? Yeah, like tall
and lanky. He's wearing those robes
so he's hard to get a beat on where his
32-year-old Woody kicks his ass.
He does. I'm gonna fuck him up,
I swear to God. Yeah, well, now
he's living safely in Argentina.
But, yeah, what I'm
saying is, like, man, that just made you
bloodthirsty, and I get that. That's part of being a human
is being a bloodthirsty, oh,
yeah, motherfucker? Well,
let me show you what we can do you don't even
know what we're going to do when we find you after what you did to us that's like in our blood like
you can feel it when you when you're in a movie when you watch an internet video and some poor
old man is just trying to go through his day and some piece of shit's beating him and then fucking
karate master comes out of nowhere to kick that guy in the side of the head, you don't care that he fell
poorly and his head hit the sidewalk. You're like,
yeah, that's what fucking happens. You get
brain damage for picking on old men.
You get that. That's
part of us. It's a
smash his skull,
smash his skull. We're all ready
to do that. It's one of my core
principles. You're allowed to
win. You are allowed to be bigger and
stronger than your opponent that that's within the rules i i every once in a while in hockey i see
some guy get called a legal check because he's big yeah right i get some guy called for a check
in hockey and i'm like no no he's allowed to hit him he's just big and strong don't call a penalty
for that yeah um back to israel they attacked israel right it i think
the math proportionally works out to be like seven nine eleven simultaneously on one day imagine if
that happened to us and nine thousand four hundred and seventy three like like the amount of people
they have dead compared to their population etc so anyway um uh now israel's hitting them back and i'm like yeah did you fuck around find
out that that's okay israel can you did enough that israel's justified a disproportionate response
in my opinion but all it makes it trickier for me when i consider that like a lot of them are kids and they are in an open air prison
and they're in an open air prison their grievances were really legit they just handled it in the
wrong way i wish instead of devoting that money to like 5 000 simultaneous missiles and paramotors
and whatever they just got attorneys i bet it'd be more effective. Attorneys against Israel? If you think the Iron Dome is good,
ho ho, when you see our Lord!
Do you know how badly
Israel would bamboozle
the fuck out of Palestinian
attorneys? You thought we were tough on the
battlefield! Ha ha! Welcome to court!
They'd have, like, jokes.
They'd be like, who is Jewish? All of us
say...
I'm sorry, is this your first case
judge yarmulke how do you find judge yarmulke how do you find
yeah i don't think they're gonna win any legal battles with israel i imagine
israel has a crack team of attorneys maybe you're right maybe you're right yeah i mean look look uh all i know is
when i watch i'm like oh it does get to that point after a while it's like you got them
right you got them they're crawling away they're like yes we know that was easy to hit them
well hang on you hit him now he now he can't crawl anymore oh this is my favorite they're just
warming up they're only warming up like they they may have accomplished disproportional response
already i think they already got them 100 i'm gonna be honest they already got them and everything
that happens like now it just really seems like it's like when that dad gets the pedophile right he goes all the way there so they're going all the way and uh and i don't think anybody can stop
them and i don't think anybody is i hope they don't strike iran too much i i know they blew
up some at all oh interesting i know they blew up some landing strips in like uh in syria maybe
in damascus and then somewhere else because drones were being launched out of lebanon and syria at them from the north and i guess northeast geography is
definitely not my strong suit but um yeah if they go in there like felucia style it's gonna really
kick off because then what you get is an insurgency because people from around the world are like oh
my god are you telling me that is Israel's going in on foot in Gaza?
Man, that's what I do.
I fucking he like shows you his medals.
He's like Syria 20 2017 champion or whatever.
Like that's what that's how you get an insurgency is when you're like, hey, we're the people you hate.
We're on the ground.
Don't come in here, though.
We wouldn't like that.
We're dealing with your friends and relatives and countrymen andmen and the people who worship the same God as you.
We're going to kill them.
Don't sneak in here through tunnels through Egypt and Lebanon and Syria.
But that's exactly what will happen.
They need to get in there and get out.
If they get in some protracted thing that's months and months like Ukraine is doing, oh, it's going to be nasty.
Is it possible to end Gaza?
Just take it? They want to kill them all.
Like they absolutely know what you do.
Kill them all.
Give them an opportunity to run.
How many of them are there?
There's a couple million.
One in two million.
I've heard one million and two million.
So that's a big difference.
I get it.
But there you go.
It's a lot of people.
A lot of you just kill a hundred thousand of them and then give the other
900,000 an opportunity to leave
and not come back?
Why don't they give them
an opportunity now?
Oh, I thought...
Who can swim?
You gotta kill 10%.
Head that way!
America's that way.
That's a long swim.
You're goddamn right. Taylor, maybe it's a long split. Yeah.
God damn right.
Taylor,
maybe it's a good idea to get,
actually,
I think they're letting them out now.
Are they just warning them?
I forget.
They ain't letting nobody out.
I don't think they're letting anybody out,
but I don't know.
But I do know that they're warning them before they bomb their building.
I think we talked about some PK and they either call or they send a,
so there's a,
they yell.
They're going to kill the hostages no i should have
finished my sentence they send a shell or a rocket with no explosion so now all you have is the
equivalent of like a tree hitting your house but you've been warned the next one's gonna go boom
yeah yeah if that's what that's how you well it is going on you can tell because you get this
footage where the uh the palestinians or hamas or whomever is in the area will film the destruction of the building because, ah, they're going to hit this building in 30 minutes.
Let's get the camera set up.
So they'll have a GoPro in the street on a tripod.
And the video will say that description is that in case you're wondering how we have why the camera is set up because everybody's a conspiracy theorist.
It's because the Israelis let them know that this is where they're going to drop their bombs,
so we set up our camera here to film them drop the bomb.
But they're not always giving them those warnings.
I guarantee.
They dropped, Zach, I wish you'd find the number for exactly how many bombs they've dropped so far.
It's thousands of bombs, thousands of buildings.
It's got to be so many people.
It's got to be 10,000 people they've killed at least, right?
And I wouldn't be surprised if they stop.
It's very densely packed.
Will they stop at 50, 100?
I don't know what they're going to do.
They're going hard over there.
And seemingly no one in that country has.
6,000 bombs.
Oh, he didn't say 6,000 what?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I took it as deaths.
It's just that every night when I check CNN, they're like, they say that they did like 300 strike missions or they launched.
And it's just these huge numbers.
And then when I watched the impacts, like I said, they're dropping big buildings and 14 story apartment buildings seemingly and blowing up mosques.
And they are going about as hard as they've ever gone.
But if they go in there and land, that'll be a shit show.
That'll be something I don't know that we've seen.
I mean, Fallujah was that.
They don't really need to.
Like they have such control over the situation.
They want to go in there and get their people and they want to go in there and,
and,
and like get their hands dirty too.
Frankly,
I think they want to go in there and like get them.
Benjamin,
Benjamin Netanyahu.
I'm close on that.
Maybe not perfect.
Uh,
it's kind of hardcore about fighting.
That's his thing.
And he's being sued.
He was like about to go to prison or something like he was
doing poorly he's not popular etc and now they're rallying around the flag and they're glad glad
they have a hawk in there so yeah it's a right-wing government uh i know that a particularly
right-wing government and then i saw a picture of him i think think, from the 70s, maybe 71 or something of him in his military fatigues holding a gun like a fit, good looking guy.
Yeah, they're they're they're in their 9-11 post 9-11 American flag on every car mode.
And they didn't really have much a good George Bush at the rubble moment.
They missed that part of the of the saga.
But I feel like they're going to
follow through with an Afghanistan
imminently.
Well, we'll see.
Anyway, time to wrap?
I suppose so. Let's hope the world
doesn't fall apart before next week.
Is next week the Halloween episode or is it the one after that?
It's the one after.
Okay, one after that.
Okay.
Very good. PKA 669.