Painkiller Already - PKA 671 W/ H3CZ: Kyle Got Hit By A Car, Amouranths New Beer, The Bud Experts

Episode Date: October 28, 2023

pka 671 our guest hex taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaoh distro lock and load and a brand new sponsor qualia senolytic qualia senolytic neural hacker collective we'll talk about them later hex thank you for joining us again on halloween thank you for inviting me on halloween every year every year like it's every year yeah skeleton behind you well i i had to show up something i see you guys very well dressed i i came here with nothing but you know you found me right away that ruins the whole thing it does it does for the audio listeners which is most of you is waldo he's he's looking looking good. I love the background.

I bet I could... You know, I'm going to be looking for Waldo in that background throughout the show. I will never find him. These aren't real glasses. You didn't take somebody else's glasses and you're looking through a prescription. They go right through.

Kyle appears to be an injured man yes I'm the victim of a female driver oh no what were you doing was it your fault too no no I was driving properly no I was just sitting at home

I was sitting in my chair right through the living room she came and I am Pikachu you can see because Ash has chosen me as his battle companion throwing me out there I'm a big ass Pikachu I'd beat the fuck out of the other Pikachu actually I would lose horribly

I don't actually have electric powers I'd be shocked to death I'm just me I got a little bit extra tan right now but it usually looks the same shade yeah well well you are more than enough as the lord would say we were just talking to uh hutch and hutch was like ah you guys have strong hairlines heck's got that strong hairline too yeah that's the genetics right there look at that thing hasn't moved a millimeter since he was

you know what would be what would be funny is if like all four of us are here with our hairlines and then we like invite hutch on and make it kind of like an intervention you start rattling propitious like it's a choice like no we all donate a little hair yeah i like i like i like no i like that approach it's like an intervention we're telling him he needs to stop losing his hair and we just make it seem as like if he's doing it on purpose just as he was doing

some random drug because like Hutch you gotta stop it's going away he brought back the lip ring usually around every single new Call of Duty release I just saw him in one of the Instagram stories and I'm like ah yes it's there it's back jesus don't stream yeah i like you don't like the lip is not a not a good

look um he is the only i mean i don't even remember back in high school if but he's the only person i know that that like loves to. You know what it reminds me of? I like that he doesn't give a fuck what anybody thinks. Of course. And he rocks his lip ring, first of all. And the old school Punisher movie, the first one from 2002 or something, the one guy's got a whole bunch of lip rings.

They torture him by pulling them out one after another with pliers. And I always think that when I see somebody that's got these exposed loops of metal through their flesh like yeah yeah i can't see i will fuck you up but i'm grabbing those are handles i'm pulling those out and from what i understand hutch does frequent a lot of 7-elevens so that scenario might come up where he's might into a street fight. Someone's going to go for that lip ring. Do you look at certain jewelry or tattoos and make assumptions about a person? Here's the thing.

If I see a tramp stamp, I'm like, that chick likes doggy style. That's just what's up. If I see one of those choker collars, that chick blows. That chick sucks dick. That's a thing. These are wild assumptions. That chick sucks dick. That's a thing. These are wild

assumptions. Really? Sit back and relax. You would go agree with me. In a tongue ring, that means blowjob, right? Sure. No.

Oh, yeah. Exactly. You guys have never like made certain associations with like a tattoo or a tattoo location or jewelry location for sure i feel like it's like that high school rainbow party shit like once we're all adults i don't know a girl who doesn't suck dick or like doggy style like who are these women you know this is advertising that they do right these adult sluts with their multiple preferences for positions and and oral oral sex oh my i will say like tattoo position no matter what it is if it's front of the neck here kind of in the adams apple region i assume steer clear that person like really probably danger because that person does truly

truly doesn't give a fuck so let me ask you this when you say steer clear danger is this in the context of like a psycho future girlfriend or like a guy get that out of here come on buddy terrible it's too scary for this season not halloween yet are you saying this is a scary dude you'd stay away from or a scary girlfriend you'd avoid romantically? Either one. If someone has a big frontal neck tattoo like that, that's someone I'm going to steer clear of. If you're not an athlete. Yeah, they have bad decision making.

If you're a professional athlete. Or a streamer. Yes, if you're already a good. A really successful streamer. Yeah, you shouldn't be going live for people. You can't get a neck tattoo if you're basically your viewer counting dozens. Yeah, you better be hitting 100k every now and then

like if we're going to get neck tattoos, you know what I mean? We better be sticking some money away somewhere. I don't know. I mean, I think that if I walked into a Bank of America or wherever and I saw Teller wearing like, you know, ball-headed and then you know tattoos i

i would not be surprised and i'd be like oh look how far we i'd get on the floor a robbery is going down you know what i mean it is right like you like the the apparel right like you and your head didn't see that person wearing a necktie and a shirt and a suit, right? That's how I envision it. A little neck tattoo, too. Yeah. Well, so that's what I'm saying. You kind of hide it with that.

So I don't know. But I would not be surprised. I'm not against tattoos. I like people with tattoos. I don't have any of my own. You asked that a minute ago. But it's really because I'm not very creative and I don't really stand for anything. Why would I want anything to stand for me?

What am I going to put on there? My name? That's the best tattoo. Kyle. You should. That's what I'm all about, motherfucker. Always. Since 1986.

I would be honored. What about you two? That to get a pka like that's a that's such an iconic logo so old so old school like we got a bunch of fans that have done it got the pk pill on there yeah and i appreciate that and and i know that what they're really doing is getting a like a cat there yeah that tattoo you know but but no i i wouldn't want that i wouldn't want that i'm not against tattoos i just so you four get together for the yearly retreat you guys aren't all getting the same pka uh pill tattoo no we we do this circular like how do you what do you call it with the the caterpillar jerk off we all go inside and there's a...

What are you trying to say here? You know, we get a circle, the big circle together at the cabin every year and the, you know, the thing. Oh, we elephant walk each other. Yes. That's it. I knew Kyle was into that

as soon as I saw the earmuffs he wore to the retreat. No, I saw Kyle with his lip ring and I know he loves doggy style. Oh my God. Yeah, I don't think any of ring, and I know he loves doggy style. Oh, my God. Yeah, I don't think any of us are against tattoos. Woody has one. He's the only one of us. Kyle and I have the similar problem of, like, I'll think of something neat,

and then even three days later, I'm like, oh, thank God I don't have that. That was stupid. Like, I can't commit. What is this mist behind behind you sir it's that lady's car smoking she's she's still parked in the living room she won't get out it's an asian lady it's hard the communication is difficult is that what that sound is that yeah it's the it's the uh the wind motor she's trying to clear the windshield she's got them that's that's what that is you're spraying that fucking shit in your room you're closed off room the whole show i hope i mean i mean leave it on i'm giving you a little bursts

of it i've got a little remote here like like if i put that thing full on it would kill me like it's so powerful like just like regular smoke or it's if you've ever been like in a club where there's a fog machine, it's that fog machine shit. But too much of it in this little room really does start feeling dangerous and making me nauseous. You should just hotbox the room. I essentially have. I mean, it's closed. But it's...

Oh, you don't think it's dense enough? No, I don't think it's marijuana smoke. Oh, no, it's not marijuana smoke. How's it going over there in georgia we're good right um we've uh you mean as far as weed yeah so we've got uh all the legal delta eight stuff and we've got sponsors so i pretty much got a steady supply of uh what's the it's thca right yeah that's the the oh my god as shit oh shit. Oh my God, THCA is the shit. Sansu?

I'm not a chemist, so it's all just fucking alphabet soup to me. But the dude that I spoke to, our rep, and people I've spoke to at smoke shops, they explained that it starts off as a legal chemical, and when you heat it, it becomes the illegal chemical. So you... And I'm like yeah magic i do a dippity do a bippity boppity all right give me two you know like i don't give a shit about it it's the most flagrant loophole of any of them like that's what he told me too he was like oh let me explain the loophole to you

so thca in its pre-smoked form different legal 100 good to carry around in all legal states and whatnot the second you ignite it it turns into thc and so i was like yeah like really like that oh that's why then when i've been smoking these joints they're sending me i'm getting fucking lit yeah high as shit high quality stuff at THCA. Same with seeds, right? Because they're hemp and then they, they don't obviously mature and go through the adolescence part. Yeah. Same with like, uh,

like mushroom spores. They do that too. Like you can order mushrooms online and then make them in your, grow them in your closet, I guess. Never done that, but it should be easy. It's mushroom.

You would think it would be easy, but it's, I've heard it's rather difficult. The people who succeed at it say it's easy. I think it's hard. That's how a lot of things go. Yeah, we grew mold. I guess I wanted to grow fungus, and I grew mold.

I was close. You eat it, and you're like, oh, I feel just sick. We've got a guy in our Discord. We've got several that grow mushrooms, but we've got one that like makes dmt in his in his kitchen on pyrex with got the fucking gloves on mask and goggles and he's in there fucking like walter white making dmt out of shit but he doesn't look like a chemist he looks like in the same way he looks like a chemist in the same way i look like pikachu right now like

pretending to be a chemist and it's like but you're still gonna smoke this man i don't think you're supposed to wear like you know floor cleaning gloves when you're doing that like the yellow ones i don't see a problem with those yellow dishwashing gloves for his mom how is uh how is pine park going? Really good, man. Really good. I think we've hit a groove that allows us to just be curators of cannabis. And then we do collaborations with different multi-state operator brands. Dog House is the latest one.

Roundtable Selections. We've done um my my people in a private reserve garden in oklahoma city so we've done a collaboration in oklahoma city we did uh recently detroit and um and the falls and obviously california so three three uh three states we we're in right now nice what are you always experimenting with new strains and new everything or do you kind of when i get the chance to yeah yeah yeah but we have experts man we have these two really really talented um uh you know content creators uh tim tim brown and eric khan who has he's probably like one of the top if not the top uh cannabis creator eric khan is his name

and he's just like smoked so much and and so many different variations that you know most of the time we just let him pick the thing that sends him the the farthest and that's what we go to i'm just mixed on this idea of a cannabis expert like it if you get into candy i want to be your expert you can do that the dude he eats a lot of candy he just can't hold himself well it's the difference between a sommelier and a drunk right you know you gotta understand the facets of this shit

and why it's doing the thing you can't just be like I'm baked I feel like one's better bullshitting right no the sommelier's know something because they're being I watched a Netflix show about it many years competitions yeah yeah the competitions and so like they do know shit like they can have a

little sip of wine and most of them are like ah oak and uh a little bit of lemon is that lemon rind but it's from the hills of versailles and uh during the like they'll give you locations area uh they'll give you a locations area. They'll give you the entirety of every single thing that they can think of, that they can recognize from a certain region and shit. I just want to clarify as far as... Does Sommelier

cover hard liquors and all sorts of things? Whiskeys and such. The guys that are experts about that, because those things really are very nuanced. And what I've noticed is that the experts can absolutely tell the difference between a bad whiskey and a superb whiskey. And they can even tell the difference between great whiskey and good whiskey.

But when it comes to wine, whenever I see it really put to the test, they'll slip in a $10 bottle of wine and it'll slide right side by side. And with that fancy schmancy you couldn't pull that shit with me these aren't real Fruit Loops this is Acme brand get the fuck out of here you know how Woody would know

he'd be like ah processed sugar this one's number one is that a watermelon skittle I taste in my wine number one like oh is that is that a watermelon skittle i taste it's a mad dog 2020 it's the shit that bombs drink so you know it'll fuck you up oh yeah but i think most you could probably fool because i've seen that shit about sommeliers too which i'm pretty sure is just wine that sometimes they slip up and they'll rate like some 25 liquor store brand decently high i bet you can fool the the bourbon people too that would probably be even easier to fool because it's so fucking strong so much i watch

so just based on like all the stuff that i've watched because i've watched a bunch of the sommelier guys and and it might be epicurious as that YouTube channel where they will force those experts. The chocolate expert will have to is this five dollar chocolate or five hundred dollar chocolate? Have a bite. And it's usually easy to tell with that. I watched the cured meats episode of that. Sure. They're fantastic. It's fun viewing. But I've also watched YouTube channels that are just about nothing but liquor. It's like what we do here is we taste these liquors. Here's Conor McGregor's liquor. We're going to tell you what we think about it.

And you got two or three liquor experts, and they sort of, you know, it tastes a little bit like this other one. Yeah, there's a smell of vanilla, but you can definitely tell they cheaped out on the barrels or whatever. Like, they'll discuss and rate those things. But again, I've definitely seen those wine experts get befuddled by a ten dollar house red this was like a few years back i just had to google it probably 2018 or something this was one of those uh scotch or bourbon channels and it was just some old man who would i guess sit there and drink the scotch and be like oh this is this is a highland more scottish 25 year

very high quality i can taste the peat in that and like there's one episode of him that like got memed and viral because it is him like sitting there in a room with the camera panning down and he's like drinking different kinds of scotch and his wife is like packing up and leaving behind him like his life is being destroyed it's just like he's sitting there getting a little tanked on on bourbon and it's like man I don't know if this is this is the

episode you should have uploaded people aren't focused at all on the the peat that's rough but he must have really liked that whiskey he uploaded it anyway. Yeah. I haven't watched it. I think there was every now and then there's one of those live stream moments.

I think recently there was something where the guy. I think the guy is claiming that he's sick. Like, no, no, no. He's claiming that his mom is kicking him out of the house. I'm homeless. It's what he's saying. He's crying. Pretty big audience or whatever.

Maybe maybe a000 people watching. And he's crying because his mother is making him homeless for a bullshit reason that he's told him. So can you believe it? I meant to take the trash out. I thought it was Monday nights. It always was. Now I'm homeless. And they're donating money.

His mom walks in or whatever, and she's like, I'm getting messages that say that you're homeless. You live here. What is this all about? And he's just like, fuck. The jig is up. in or whatever and she's like i'm getting messages that say that you're homeless you're not you live here what is this all about and he's just like fuck like the jig is up it's the worst it's so he wasn't even being kicked out no he's making the whole thing up for donations just fake tears and everything what a scumbag drinking throwing his own mom under the bus on a stream. Yeah, to make $60. Terrible. What an asshole.

We were talking about your costume before we kicked things off, and I said it's always, I mean, it gets glossed over, but it's always maybe a little bit uncomfortable, this ill-defined relationship between the Pokemon and its master or mistress. Well, trainer is the now trainer nomenclature yeah yeah masters and i go with dom my pokemon dom yeah that i you know when i got into pokemon i didn't really see that as part of it like even at the age of seven or eight when the first pokemon came out i was like there's no

way they would turn 10 year old because 10 years old is the time you start your pokemon journey you get to skip out on school and just go wander the world with dangerous animals and i was like there's no way they would just give kids access to flame breathing dragons and electric mice that could kill people like short entire cities electrical grids out but i didn't have the sexual knowledge or wherewithal to see where people would get creepy with it until i was older and i remember the pokemon jinx which was a first generation pull up jinx uh it's the only pokemon in the original 151 that is like nx jynx i think is how it's spelled it's an ice type ice and psychic type pokemon but it's like kind of woman looking and so the i like that is one of those

things that if you saw a pokemon trainer who was like a bit ghastly a bit ghoulish with a jinx you would know like look it's got tits and so you'd know that they were fucking jinx which is totally wrong you shouldn't be able to have sex with your own pokemon unless you use woody's rule of having sex with animals the law of woody which is if it can stop you yeah and it's okay because i stand by that jinx psychic type ice type she could freeze freeze you up keep you from doing anything she could psychically move you away she could stop someone like brock lesnar because she's magic but she can't because i'm her master and i'll keep her in that little ball forever if she doesn't suck my dick with a big old dick

sucking lips yeah right i was gonna say taylor's i'm having sex with this girl she doesn't suck my dick with them big old dick sucking lips. I was going to say, Taylor's probably having sex with this girl. She wasn't purple before we started. This is clearly a blowjob Pokemon. Jinx, the blowjob Pokemon. Get over here, you grimace with tits looking monstrosity. I remember I never caught a Jinx

because I was like, this is the dumbest looking Pokemon ever. But I did think this shows my age. This is the dumbest looking Pokemon ever. But I did think, like, this shows my age. Fucking hands. This is the first Pokemon I've ever wanted, Taylor. This is the only one you've ever wanted. I do remember being at the age where I'm like, man, I'd never have to learn anything in school if I had an Alakazam. You could just psychic do my test.

Look at that Karen Bob wig you're forcing this Pokemon clearly to wear. It's not even... Yeah, you know what? Okay, fine. You're right, because there's no way it was just born with that dress and the wig. So this is a newer Pokemon. This is a creep who drew a Pokemon that's more fuckable, but that ain't cool. Does it have a body?

It looks like it's more of a wisp, like a wispy kind of... I don't know what I would do with this thing. The handjobs look like shit. There's no mouth and there's no bottom end. What do you do with this Pokemon? I only see one eye. Well, yeah, but that's like a style thing. There's no way it just has one eye.

Are those spikes? Are those spikes or is that like a nose and next to her eye? Is she looking up that way? No, you're right. It's not looking up that way. That's definitely

spikes. Spikes, another bad thing for sex. You don't want that. Maybe you do. Depends what you want to do. I could use a spike. But you're right about the pokemon master thing because they're it's inappropriate yeah i do want to fuck that chick from team rocket she's hot jesse you want to fuck jess dude i did not understand at all like the all the sexual jokes about Jesse and James.

Blasting off again. In one of the newer seasons, well, by newer I mean probably came out in 1999. I think it was newer. She had a Pokemon called Lickitung. Pull up Lickitung. And there were a lot of jokes about

this would be a Pokemon owned almost exclusively by ladies so pull up lick a tongue and this was the pokemon that she was wandering around with all the time in the pokemon series uh not not the original in the original obviously she had an ekans which is snake backwards i'm really anxious to see this thing yeah see there's looking cartoon like this is in the cartoon yes yeah that was in the cartoon and i remember also thinking jesse was hot in that little short skirt and she was running around always getting dominated by okay i don't remember being that explicit all right i'm coming back to this later if you send

me a link this is great and then didn't didn't jesse have a weeping bell which looks like a fleshlight uh or james and the japanese are awful people like like like this is this is why our culture is the way it is they they've been sneaking this in with pokemon and our parents are right our parents are right they do my my parents like couldn't have stopped me from getting into pokemon at that age it was it was my 9-11 that's how big please explain how pokemon was your 9-11 well you know well you can also make the argument that 9-11 was my 9-11. But, yeah, there was Victory Bell, which he would fuck sometimes, probably.

What is that thing? Yeah, it's just a big plant. Well, that's the fully evolved version. It's not as fuckable as Weepinbell. No, you want the little one that's more like a flashlight. Yeah, Pokemon was so big when I was in elementary school. I think it's a meter wide, Woody. No, no, no. No jokes. yeah pokemon was so big when i was an elementary meter wide woody looks like a fucking trash can at a baseball stadium yeah i can't believe like god it sucks

you're you're only five years older than me but you missed pokemon entirely like it was so my my jam i remember a kid showed me one of those A kid pulled one of those cards out in like sixth grade and showed me that shit. And it was all reflecty. And I was like, ah, no, to stay away from you. A hollow. Yeah. I wasn't about it. You know, the trading card game.

It's like, like, I just, it was so far away from anything I wanted to do. The Game Boy game. The Game Boy game was way bigger, and the series. Me and all my friends played the games. On Saturday morning, you'd wake up early and watch the cartoon, see what was going on. Yeah, my parents didn't buy video games, really. I had a couple consoles, but I got two or three games,

and then that was going to be it. For all of you, what is the series that you were definitely too old for when it came out but it still sucked you in oh i mean every step of the way i was watching i watched terminator 2 when i was five that's one of the reasons i i keep pressing you like i watched it when it came out that's the opposite of the question though i feel like you weren't old enough for it but you went oh it's too old for yeah too old for me still like oh because it's easy my bad i miss i miss where you're like oh i'm getting away with something here like okay um something i watch i i think i watch thundercats too long but i just didn't have enough friends at that how old are you woody i'm'm 50. You're 50. I'm 43, so

Thundercats was like my shit. Thundercats, Masters of the Universe. But in my later years, I don't think... I think there was a gap where there wasn't any cartoons or something, because I don't remember anything else. There's this Pokemon

thing. I would have been 12 or under when i watched it i wasn't too extreme but i was too old yeah well you guys i never thought of i i only saw thundercats like when it was replaying like at my grandparents house and in my head i always thought of like because of the art style of like that and he man i'm like oh this is kind of is kind of a bit more for adults. Like, that's in my head. It's a little...

It's kind of a pinkies up, a little bit of subtext in there. Like, oh, what's Snarf up to? What's he representing? I hated Snarf. He ruined the show for me. I promise you, no one knows what you're talking about. I have no idea what a Thundercat is. You've never seen Thundercats? How have you not? You're older for me. I promise you no one knows what you're talking about. I have no idea what a Thundercat is. You've never seen Thundercats? How have you not?

You're older than me. I don't know why you know what Thundercats are. Because it was on satellite at my grandparents' house. Yeah, I don't remember their names. I know about them because Andy dressed up as a Thundercat one episode of The Office.

Other people should go because I'm not the same age as most of our audience. What do you got, Kyle? Something you got into? Harry Potter. Well, I don't know. I was like 12 when I found Harry Potter. Maybe 13 or something. But then I was an adult

when those books were coming out. I drove to the midnight release of one of those fucking books. So maybe that. You have a lot of company as far as adults that like harry potter i did yeah it's not even a it's not fair but but i don't know i've always been you know since since my 20s i've been playing video games with people who are you know you gotta be careful so you're not playing with 13 year olds because because i don't want to curse in front of a 12 year old yeah right i say things when i get mad at a game that I don't want to curse in front of a 12-year-old. Yeah, right? I say things when I get mad at a game that I don't want to say in front of a 12-year-old.

If you're 13 and you want to game with me, you better be really good. You better carry this. There's got to be a reason you're in the mix. Do you need to put me in your backpack? Do you guys still play? Did you guys get into the beta this past one? So, no.

Call of Duty? I played COD last year up until war zone or whatever or dmz released or whatever it was i i just got burned out so fast um i mostly play single player stuff now or like co-op games um like i played a bunch of diablo and a bunch of um that 40k um smashy game dark tide and i'm playing a bunch of balder's gate right now doing a lot of co-op on that but not cod i'm not i mean i watch if if i watch some videos and it's like holy shit that looks fun i might jump in it's you know i'm 80 away from being a cod player what what would bring you back nothing probably um really because the skill-based matchmaking like i don't want to bitch about that

for the thousandth time we just had hutch on we had blame truth on four months ago covered it then too and we do it every time but it it makes it so against because my friends are too good for me to play with like it doesn't work it's like i'm getting shit on i can't keep a one kd because my friends are all beasts. Like really, really good. Like they could make YouTube videos if they wanted. They're styling on people. But I'm just getting drugged behind them, hiding

in corners, trying not to get fucked. And when we play objective game modes, now it's a problem because we're losing because of me. So it really ruins it. I don't want to pub stomp. I just don't want to get in that situation necessarily. I just want a random lobby.

Kyle can't get me back because I don't have the interest in putting in enough time to be competent at it. So all I do is just get smashed. And like Kyle, if I were to play, especially if I stream or something, then people who watch dreams will want to play with me and now i'm in a situation where i just have ringers bringing in ringers on

the other team and i i'm not there yeah when was the last time you you you feel like those skills were still in as well actually taylor you want to answer yours oh i haven't played any of the cods in a while but the last time i felt like i was pretty good like i could go into any lobby and like kind of single-handedly pull the team up was modern warfare 2 the original one in like 2012 yeah that was the last one or 2010 2011 whenever that was that's when i felt like maybe modern warfare 3 that's when i started to play it less but cod 4 and mw2 were the ones that I was far and away the best at. So you didn't get to just play remastered? I played a little bit of COD 4 remastered.

But I didn't play Modern Warfare 2 remastered. I played actually a good bit, like probably 30, 40 hours of the COD 4 remastered. And after five games it's like riding a bike I was like oh this is the nade shot on showdown I remember it like and then I'm throwing it

and it's like oh these fucking idiots these kids who were three when this came out they don't even know the nade spots I'm getting car explodes in the middle of the street they're like what the fuck they're like oh this game sucks there's only three good guns and then use those guns idiot like that's what i'm doing m16 red dot mp5 and m40a3 that's all you needed see i haven't played console since like black ops maybe water warfare 3 i guess that was probably the last game

i played console on everything else has been on pc so that's been a learning curve too just trying to ever be as good on pc as i was on console which i don't think is ever going to happen mostly because i used to play console eight hours a fucking day minimum you know every fucking day um and but when i play tarkov back yeah when i play tarkov to that level i'll play tarkov 12 hours a day sometimes for weeks at a time and just grind it like it's my life and i get pretty fucking good at that i get pretty good at snapping on people and fucking controlling recoil and i'll shit on groups sometimes like you better if they're not good they're fucked like they better be are you good at streets i haven't played tarkov since i played when i played the wipe itak? I haven't played Tarkov since. I played the wipe, it dropped.

And then there was that video that exposed just the percentage of cheaters in the average Tarkov lobby. And that was so discouraging. And then right before that, I had a moment in-game where, to make a long story short, a hacker killed me because he could tell I had a Let-X on me. And it just really soured that game.

I haven't played since then. So that's been a year now. How about you, Hex? When was the last time you were really solid on the sticks with Call of Duty? Modern Warfare Remastered, man. I played that game. I remember Fwizz and I played Game Battles matches from, and this

was when he was at YouTube we played like 13 hours one uh one more because he gets up early i get up early so we were fucking playing dubs uh all the way until like 9 p.m we didn't play with anybody we were just playing 13 hours straight just gangster shit uh and then after that like uh we it happens every year this the the right around the same time when the lip ring comes in. We all get together. We start playing some Old Men of Optic, Call of Duty matches. We'll do showdowns.

It's pretty cool. I still play it. I haven't been as passionate about it in the last three for sure. When Old Men of Opt optic get in a pub lobby do you just win all night long yeah but we don't do we only play we only play like competitive and we we get our we get we get our shit kicked in in um at war zone uh most of the time okay yeah war zone is the one that i can't get into now the smaller one i can get into but the war zone where you have to like go and fucking like literally walk like three miles to get into a fucking gunfight yeah not

my thing you take a vehicle and all that stuff like that that's not cod like they're trying to be something they're not italian right i'm sorry uh battlefield yeah battlefield i could never get into either because it's like this is a lot of running and listening to people on the radio. Like they can't decide if they want to copy Tarkov or Battlefield or just be themselves. And it's sort of this mishmash or, or go futuristic with some goddamn jet pack. So it's always something that I'm not exactly in love with. You know,

it's tricky for them though, right? Cause they get blasted for just like reskinning last year's game. And then they get blasted for jet packs. They get blasted for just reskinning last year's game. And then they get blasted for jetpacks. They get blasted for new movements. That's just the community, I guess. I just need less from a game. What I actually want from

a game is polish and good functional, intuitive screens and controls and stuff. I want the network to be perfect. I don't want to be lagging out of games on opening night. I don't ever want to feel like I got shit on

and it wasn't my fault. I don't want to be like, what was that? You see, this happened and in that circumstance he just gets to win and you don't. Did you just redistribute my KD ratio? You commie bastards. Get the fuck out of here.

Just keep that, but I don't care if I get to play as Peacemaker. I don't need a finishing move where I cap you in the ear and then spit in your asshole or something. I don't need any of that. You're winning me over. That's the shit that's in the game.

There's all sorts of fucking finishing, assassination moves. Everybody's playing as a goddamn video game character or something i mean we're our it's a video game i get that yeah yeah character a nerve of them but they're like running around with the gun is like ash ketchum and it's like well this this seems first of all why would you pick a a big bright character i would pick like solid snake someone who's sneaky put our job in there go ahead and have fun with it I didn't like that stuff when Fortnite would do all that stuff they'd have like Master Chief

and all that it's just it's silly not really if you saw Mortal Kombat is awesome what they've been doing because that to me that works for me it's like having a multiversal yeah like the terminator fighting rambo it's sick and you've got arnold schwarzenegger and sylvester

sloan coming coming to do the voice lines um and and you know they they got all the properties i can't imagine i don't think there's any property that they didn't get that they wanted at this point on mortal kombat i wish I liked those games. Same. I mean, obviously in the beginning, right, Sega and all that stuff, but I feel like I'm conflicted with Call of Duty in terms of what I would be okay with. I don't want it to be too World War II, but I also don't want it to be too advanced, right?

And I would be okay with Woody's costume right now being a skin in the game, but I would not be okay with, I don't know, just fucking, you name the thing that doesn't make it Call of Duty, like having to run all the way across. I frankly don't like it when we start being able to see through the walls and when there's like five different versions of what I'll just call a Claymore. There are so many things that i can place and then leave that are going to be a hazard or an

encumbrance or a death trap and i don't i don't like that the rooms are always full of those i mean i i do it i whore the fuck out of them i'm like fucking like shocks shock stick shock stick fucking mine use the perk that gives me another one real quick mine like like i'm the piece of shit who abuses it but at the same time i hate having to play against it i just want to shoot at people most of the time yeah it's really about having fun with your friends though so if you did you guys play you don't have anything battalion what is that 1944 battalion 1944 no you will you three would have 1,000% loved that shit. It came out in, it was like 2019 game.

It was Call of Duty 2-esque, but with a Counter-Strike sort of buy system or economy system, but it was also with the movement of Call of Duty 4. So it was perfect, man. one of the best games of one of the best games period ever um because it was like it was more call of duty that year than call of duty was call of duty the last 10 fucking years uh so i i really fell in love with it man it's a it was all keyboard and mouse i've never been a keyboard and mouse player but i i just loved it

man i got good at it and i miss it i wish it was still around good grant good ranking system all snd no uh like you know what i mean like if it's all snd i think that anybody can be proficient enough to compete against anyone because there's an element of strategy that i agree it's not just run and gun you know what i'm saying yeah there's a lot less randomness that it's like a real sport and that you reset from the same starting position and replay a scenario over and over to determine who's better at the game quote unquote you know it's it's i've always loved search and destroy especially competitive search and destroy when we play game battles and people get shitty and i remember when we didn't have, we didn't take pictures with digital cameras. The most fun I've ever had in call of duty was ground war domination,

paying no attention at all to the objectives and going, going like 108 and three and being like afterward, just being like everyone we won because I am the ghost of Kiev back here. Just, just absolutely slaughtering people. That was so much fun. Play the objective. It's like, what, you don't want the 108 kill

guy on your team? Really? It's really tricky. I was always that objective guy. Same. And I felt undervalued. Same. By someone who was just like... Falkutch and Diesel and Fwiz. And cnrs too right because they did just stay around the edge of the map shooting towards the center keeping your back safe going

all for kills now if it's team deathmatch which like cns for example did really well in so let's give credit but if you're playing domination just staying at the edge of the map going for kills i'm not saying you're not helping your team 102 and three good gosh no you're keeping he's murdered everyone's kill streak on the other team these guys can barely get a uav that's helping me right if you're 102 and three good god you've done a great thing but then there are these other guys going like 25 and nine thinking they're hot shit who didn't play the objective at all and it's like yeah that almost three katie is not what you think it is yeah and it's different if you're losing of course like if you're down 168 to 171 and they've got two and you've got one and you're still like i'm almost

half my hairier it's like no you got to get on b dude like we don't that'll be embarrassing if you have a 9kd and we lose because then you do look like a goober like what i was saying earlier is it's gotta be just be fun for me to play with my friends that's what's gonna get me to play a game a lot and every day and like i'm thinking right now like it'd be so much fun taylor like this is what it's like to play tarkov taylor we it like you and i'd be like taylor you don't play tarkov yeah yeah okay right, what do you want to do? We'd pick a map. We'd look at our missions.

We each have this list of missions. We compare. Like, oh, I got three on this map. I got two on this map. And then we plot a fucking trail, this circle we've got to make through this map. And there's players out there who's trying to kill us, and there's AI trying to kill us. We build our kit. Like, oh, don't bring that helmet.

No, no, no, no. Leave it at home. on a hat though put on a hat yeah yeah no no sunglasses no sunglasses like these are decisions that are important which sunglasses are not an important decision yeah so there's a glitch where they glow in the dark and you've got these white um like no circles in the darkness and it's like oh there he is ain't between those pink it gives you a really good headshot indicator in the dark do you need to hide because i'm on the un mission where i need to dress up in bright blue here we go you can do that too yeah um i don't know that it's the stakes to me like like when if that mission falls apart like like it'll be some um some we'll write like a movie narrative as we go like you might die but i'll be like don't worry

taylor i'll get your gun back to you i know you need this gun and now it's like saving taylor's gun the the story where i'm just i'm crawling through the bushes and they're throwing you can't let me die because all nine of my brothers already died in the tarkov and the military is trying to get you to return me i like the low-key evaluation of your friend like hey kyle do you is trying to get you to return me. I like the low-key evaluation of your friend. Like, hey, Kyle, do you want me to get your gun out for you? Yeah, Woody, why don't you just throw it in the bushes for me? That's fine. I'll take it in insurance.

I need something like that at this point for multiplayer. I need there to be some stakes where we both grind it a bunch and have time involved. And COD's usually the opposite of that. Although it seemed like last year I had to unlock, I had to be shooting SMGs and LMGs and shotguns just to get my red dot from my AR, and that was frustrating.

Yeah, my brother complained about that. He was like, I just want to use these three guns, but they're making me use everything to unlock the only usable reticle. And if you're not good like me, because you're playing with fucking Scum and Vavity, then it's hard to get 150 kills with that gun. That's going to take two nights.

You got to party up with your boy. Vavity knew against the pros. That guy is really good. And is really hard for a different reason what guy his name is vavity he's a pka fan and i mean i think he might have been like top five in kills two years ago like in the world like he's very very good and i would see him just do 1v1s against people who were very good and smoke them. And I was just like, well,

how good is he? How far is he from, I don't know, someone on one of your teams. Hard to say. Very good. The fact that the fact that this has been going on for 10 years and we still don't have a path to pro,

you know, for somebody who is interested in that, like, how do you do it? It can't just be a social experiment where hopefully you get on the team because they like your voice or hopefully you get on your team because you have something to offer there has to be some merit to the ranking system that actually values uh that actually gives you value externally right because you can play

and be number one fucking pub stomper all all day long but once you get into a even with a challenger's team that all they do is play competitively with the other best of the best than that but right now there isn't that you you couldn't say you know what i'm gonna dedicate my my life to being good at this thing and let's see where it takes me that's interesting i never thought about like how you would get onboarded onto a professional gaming squad like in your ideal world you know obviously you're very involved in it how would you construct it so to kind of encourage people down that road well i mean a ranking system that's universal across all color duties um going forward a i mean in the real world how would how would somebody do it

yeah that's what i mean yeah oh no i thought you were saying this is what the world needs well for sure based on what the world is today how you become a pro yeah i think it starts with uh with that right it starts with having a platform or a plug-in to call of duty that's always there and it will always be the same from a ranking perspective. You win one, you get plus two or you know what I'm saying? This doesn't exist, right? No, it doesn't exist and if it does exist... What I'm asking, and I'm not asking it well

I think, is hey, let's ignore what we wish the world was. Let's talk about what the world is today. I've decided I'm going to be a pro. I'm going to get my old ass back on a fucking controller with the paddles in is today. I've decided I'm going to be a pro. I'm going to get my old ass back on a fucking controller with the paddles in the back. I forget the name.

And try to be a pro. How do I do this? Just charm members of Optic or Envy or something? It wouldn't happen. It just would not happen. Professional players are going to pick pros and not often will they pick an up-and-comer just simply because there's a lot at risk right

their jobs aren't at risk there's uh there's only 12 teams right so the the level of of good that you have to be in order to stay on a team to be considered a professional call of duty player nowadays is crazy like we're losing a lot of big names that should be staples in this thing because there there just isn't a program that's available so now to answer your question sorry uh you you're playing challengers and you hope that you make a good enough name and then you play the social game of all right i gotta leave leave these three in a manner in which they don't know that i'm leaving until it's too late so that they don't themselves try to put themselves in my position and you know there's a myriad of different ways to do this,

but right now there isn't anything that I believe is solid enough for this to have the proper future that it needs. All right. Do you think it'll... Is there any internal desire from Call of Duty to change that? Or do they not see pro gaming as a big enough piece of their their goal to be honest it's been it's been a disappointing experience man to be honest um because this isn't new right like uh i think you know call of duty and competitive call of duty as you guys know

was a thing all the way up until like 2016 or 2015 2016 like anybody us four or us five can go to an mlg event and play right and then there's a level of aspiration there because you all you have to do is have your your 400 bucks to pay for your team pass have somebody help with the travel and stuff with the competition it's all that mattered and you got to see how good you were or who on your team needed to be replaced to get your team to the next level, et cetera, et cetera. And now it's like all of that is sort of gone, right? Like there's this like sort of all-encompassing, only one way to do things, and you can only play Call of Duty here exclusively.

And, you know, tournaments aren't as plentiful as they were back in the day. And that to me is an unfortunate scenario. Like I said, like we're losing a lot of like good players that have a longer career ahead of them but there's no way for them to continue down that path because of what it is uh i have a question yeah all right let's say we got this pro cod team right four of us are on it and we play this weekend we didn't do is what you're muted kyle we didn't um we didn't do as well. You're muted, Kyle. We didn't do as well as we hoped because I sucked. What are the signs I'm looking for that my team is low-key booting me on? Me and Kyle booing you.

Am I not invited to dinner with the boys that night? Yeah, that's why. You don't wear on your tires when you leave. People do that. We only got a reservation for three. Looking at the activity of your thread with those teammates is the number one thing. If all of a sudden it's kind of dead,

it's not. It's active somewhere else. Like nobody's talking today. What's your thread? Your group chat. Your team chat. Is this the phone? Yeah, anything. WhatsApp, Discord. It would be all of us like

kyle did you practice your quick scopes and then he'd be like yes and we'd be like what did you practice your your bouncing betty spots and you'd be like no i think i know it and we'd be like in our side chat like this motherfucker it's gonna ruin us with his lack of yeah there aren't even bouncing betty's in this game, Taylor! What the fuck? It's like, you caught me. I haven't been practicing. That's cop 5 shit! Yeah, I think that's the number one telltale.

When things seem to go a little silent. It's not silent. You know what? It sucks. It must be cool on the other side, though. Like, oh shit! A new chat popped up, and I'm in it. And the next visit. I don't know what's going down, but I know it's not

going down. Thank you for including me. Even in this fantasy version, Woody, you're still barely making the cut into this new team. You're number four in your own fantasy. You're going to have the blame hung on you.

That's like Dwight when he has a second life where he's also an assistant manager. He had his second second life. In his fantasy, he was the co-owner of a bed and breakfast in hell. You're the co-owner of A Bed and Breakfast in Hell. You're the co-owner. Not even the owner. So are the players leaving?

They're still in professional gaming. They're just getting drawn to the games that are paying more? I mean, that was a thing. But I think first-person shooters in console, and everybody plays on PCs now. They're just plugging a controller to it. But I think those sort of players don't often just go somewhere else to find a job. I mean, the most recent one has to be Formal, who obviously retired from Call of Duty.

And then within six months, he was back on the Halo horse and then won two championships and a world championship. What kind of money is that? I don't want to interrupt you, but you just laid out those cool accomplishments. What are we taking home? Sponsorships aside, if you win those three big events. A lot of merch. I don't know. Are we talking about ballpark?

Like $7,000 or $7,000 or $700? $70,000, $120,000, $250,000 per. Each? Per? Okay. Yeah, that's crazy money okay salaries right plus sponsorship opportunities like obviously yeah yeah yeah i mean you know you you guys know i think i think that if you know any of you wanted to like you know sort of like give it a give it a side as a like a run again on the side i think they they would be super good. That's all the earnings from 154 tournaments.

Matthew, formal Piper Halo player, total prize money earned $1,183,000. In what period of time? Real money. 154 tournaments? I don't know. Since 10 years. Okay.

He's making $100,000 a year in this. $10,000 a tournament? That's not including his sponsorships. 20, call it in 10 years. Okay. So he's making 100 grand a year in this tournament. Yeah. And that's not including his sponsorships. And there must be a lot more big ones. Because he said like, or on there, it said like, like world ranking, like 124 or something. So like not even top 100. And he's making, he's made seven figures in his career, which prorated still. I mean, look up scump, look up scumps, and then I'll make a comment on that.

Yeah, I know. I mean, I know who that guy is. He's an unbelievably famous game. I don't know. I think he was Call of Duty, right? Yeah, he is still. Yeah, well, he just retired. He just retired?

Skump retired? Yes, last year. Yeah, Skump retired last year. How old is he? 28. I have a question yeah let's say hypothetically you're a 28 year old professional call of duty player does that guy pull bitches on tinder or like does that job help you or hurt you if you're 17 probably what's that i mean he's presumably has a large

social media like platform, right? And it goes to these shows where there's fangirls and stuff. You don't go on Tinder. You don't need to go on Tinder. It's like, why? We're not going fishing anymore. Like, we could just go to the store. Why?

He's a professional. Maybe he's like, is there a professional Tinder player on here? Well, one, you know, my bro is a really handsome dude. You know what I'm saying? So that aside, but right there, you saw 1.1 is his earnings throughout his entire career that is not you know that's that's like only one of his incomes right and maybe sometimes it comes you have to win uh you have to replace top four to make some cash in that so you know obviously you guys know the influencer economy because we were part of the you know version one of that right like we were there from the fucking jump uh so you know i mean it might be a quarter of his income yeah

like not not even like he fucking you know he's done very well for himself right so it's it's it varies right like for my players at least i always make sure that they're not relying on that as their main source of income you know what i'm saying like they have to be free to be able to pay bills by doing something way easier and fun right than it is to the stress of having to be better than somebody else on a specific day other which is our number one goal all the time but if you don't have like that side hustle you know if you don't have your brand right where you're where you your youtube's doing great your twitch is doing great if you're doing that and then obviously your merch and your sponsorships like what about the idea of having like an open combat combine like like open tryouts for a team like make them play one of those like

reaction games you know that game where you click all the bubbles as fast as you can i've seen shroud do it looks like a machine's working those fucking bubbles i've seen monkeys do it they have this like accuracy clicky game yeah tiny bubbles appear on the screen randomly faster and faster and it's it's a aim lab yeah oh there's a bunch of them i don't know specifically which one but but yeah i think it's the best because it allows you to pick the game um i think um yeah i don't use it because i'm obviously very talented already of course yeah. What's the point, right? When you're that good, you don't want to be... I'd be bragging. You don't want to brag.

That's right. Yeah. I have a friend. He flies paramotor. He's a big deal on Instagram. He makes entertaining short videos. He has a checkmark next to his name. I have another friend who explained to me that that check mark on instagram is a clout that you can convert into dates and i'm like really

because i is that true what age group are we talking about these these gentlemen he's probably 28 and yes sure yeah yeah okay then that is true clout on any huge platform can be turned into dates they're clout leeches so so they they're you know if you're yeah of course you know like but you're either it's not obvious to me because like here's here's my background when i was like 17 or something i became a lifeguard on the beach. And 17 year old girls think lifeguards are the bomb, right? The coolest guys on the beach. It doesn't take long. They hit like 21.

And suddenly they're like, this is actually a person who's just hovering around minimum wage. He's no longer the coolest guy on this beach. Get me a CPA. I've got needs over here and then those are the guys pulling bitches obviously accountants so yeah yeah so i was wondering like hey what happens when you're like a 28 year old influencer pro gamer what is this world's your oyster my man okay the world is your oyster especially if you know how to talk right like like what do you like remember when there were tons of teenage boys

that wanted to do dual comms with you that you had no interest in? It's like that, except it's pretty girls that want to suck your dick. It's exactly like that. Like, literally, you can go into Instagram and it's like, ah, here's 25 or 30 more really hot chicks who want to suck my dick.

Like, right now. Because they're pro gamers. Yeah, well, they don't care that you're good at the game. They don't give a fuck. Because you have reach and influence. Because you're because you're famous because you have like because because oh my god did you see that um young gravy follows him on on on come squash.com like they'll get that's something somebody will care about you know i hope all these things are real things yeah they are you don't have a cum squad account what is cum squad if you have to ask you don't know

i saw someone write the other day like dude i don't think i'm that old but everything looks like this to me and it's like coom dizzle does a quick quack with jane quickie yeah man and then they showed me the real article and it was it was like god it's the same shit because i don't know who young gravy is i'm sorry i know it's a real thing i don't know he's a real person yeah i know that's i don't know if he's a gamer or a rapper or uh i gotta say like something there's something so soft about rapper names modern rapper names are always soft it's always

some silly shit with some numbers and letters back in my day Ice Cube and Eazy-E they were tougher Vanilla Ice inspired fear in all who would see him Stanley Vanilla Ice inspired fear in all who would see him. Stanley Vanilla Ice

is picking the clown of rap. MC Hammer scared St. Louis. Yeah, that's true. The Hammer murder inspired us. That's more like hip hop. You know what I'm saying? Method Man, more mystical names. Busybone.

I don't think the rappers have ever been that tough. What are the pussy names now? Some of them are actual criminals, right? They just half-solved Tupac's murder. Okay, okay. Actually, you're right. They're very tough. 50 Cent was a criminal, right? I'm pretty sure he had people killed. I'm pretty sure he's got

a bunch of gun or bullet wounds. Yeah, and then he had those people killed. On his face. There is a famous rapper right now whose name is Baby Keem. So that's... Any relation to Keem Star? I don't know.

I just looked up famous rappers right now. Baby Keem is a rising star. Captivating audiences with his dynamic beats and intro. This is AI written. Chief Keef. I remember him. Chicago. Do you know Chief Keef?

I don't know. I know one song, maybe. That's like younger. That's Embo's. It didn't seem impossible that he was like an optic fan or something. It could have happened. Oh, no, no. Ambrose knows those dudes. Oh, I wanted to talk about that shooting in Maine today because it was wild.

I guess the guy's still at large. National Guard Reserve or something happened yesterday or last night, rather like 6 p.m. in Maine. Oh, they haven't caught him? No. And he's like a firearms instructor uh first he went into a bowling alley uh and shot a bunch of people there and then he left there and he went to a bar grill shot a bunch of people there and then they found his car at a boat ramp you know where you put your boat in the water and that's

all they know but i it's pretty fucked up. The bowling alley, I saw a story from a guy that was there. He's like, I heard the shot, and I turned around and saw the guy with the gun. He's like, I just split. He ran down the bowling lane and dove in where the pins are back into the mechanism and climbed up into the machinery and hid there until the guy left and i thought that

was the coolest story and the news reporter didn't have a fucking follow-up question it was like stick with this guy get anderson cooper on the line this is a whole movie it was so cool to me that he went in could i because i'm kind of scared i don't want to get shot i know that's gonna you know you're gonna look rough but yeah i don't know for sure that I can die. You're in the danger zone. Clearly back behind those bowling pins could be like a thresher of blades and spinning implements for all I know. But he dove in there,

saved himself that way. And then, so then the guy went to a bar and grill and like, it's bad enough to go into a bar and grill and shoot innocent people, but it happened to be the deaf cornhole championship night at that bar and grill. No. It was the deaf. Okay. He shot up a deaf meeting.

Oh, deaf. Yeah, that says a lot about me. It was a cornhole championship for deaf people, those who are hearing impaired. Deaf. Did he know that? I don't know. They don't know because they don't know what. I know he killed the manager.

So, you know, you're just guessing. But maybe he went there because, like, he wanted one person. He wanted to kill the manager. He's traveling around Maine blasting people. Maybe he thought this out and realized that he could get, like, six, seven kills before they turn around and see him. God damn it, Woody. That's probably not it.

It's probably. So he was hiding in a bowling alley. He walked up into those places. Oh, and Hacks knows more than we do about the situation. What is it? No, no, no. I was just going to reiterate what he said. That's exactly what happened. He slid down the lane and then climbed up.

He said that he couldn't hear even the gunshots because all the mechanisms up there were so loud that he didn't know what was like that. So he was just, I mean, dude, what are you doing? Badass. That's awesome. Damn. It was a heavier dude too, right?

Sean Hannity came out. Sean Hannity said that if anyone tried that around him, he would use his MMA skills to disarm the gunman. Who said that? Sean Hannity from Fox News. I watch a lot of Fox News. Oh, yeah, he did. He said he'd been training MMA,

and God forbid he ever has to use his skills. He's a 61-year-old multimillionaire. He can't beat anybody up. He's soft hands. I bet he could beat up a 62 year old okay touche he's got a hell of a hairline first i might argue that sean hannity is tougher than most 61 year olds but that's the tallest midget at the fair tough as nails that's true you want i wouldn't want to mess i wouldn't want to have any fisticuffs with sean hannity

that hairline tells me that he is a high t individual okay with good genetics yeah is it a good hairline are you kidding me if it's low dht for sure genetic reacting to it genetically well i guess if he if sean hannity kicked my ass i got some of that fox news money so there's a lot there that's that would be worth it i i think anybody who says stuff like that is pretty tone deaf you know oh i was their odd fucking kung fu fighter that guy it's like you probably just get blasted in the face and you go out like a match in the wind dude have you seen the sunny clip where where mac is like dude where mac has a sword and charlie has a gun and mac keeps saying like you wouldn't be able to get me.

I would dodge the bullets and slice you, bro. And Charlie's just like, click, click, click, click, click,

Like, see, it's so easy, dude. It's so easy to shoot you. Like you, like, there's a reason that guns are so popular because they are like,

they're the overwhelming choice of American mass murderers. They make knives look like bitches. When it comes to fighting. A knife has nothing on a gun. No matter how good you are at throwing it, shurikens, nothing can take down the gun in a planned fight. If I threw my knife at you, I know I'd just be giving you my knife. Yeah. It's a terrible strategy.

It'd be like, I'd be like, and then hopefully it would not stick in me. If somebody throws a knife at me, I'm giving them credit for being a ninja or a samurai of some kind. I'm not putting that past them. I'm assuming that he can put that thing between my eyes. I think you should shoot anyone

who's throwing knives. Depends how many knives the assailant has. If he has a whole handful of knives, then I'm like, this guy knows what he's doing if he's oh he's holding them like a circus performer exactly yeah he's fanned out in his head yeah all right if he's got technique then i'm running this guy's dangerous he's humming like the he's juggling the blades he's thrown axes i have yeah it's it's not as hard yeah i thought it would be harder everyone's like oh it's hard to get it to stick it's like no it's because you're

throwing it like a fucking simian gorilla retard don't throw it hard just get it to rotate one time just focus on one rotation it doesn't matter how slow it is it's a fucking axe it's gonna use that inertia and stick. When you see people fuck that up, it's because they're trying to Goliath it into the wall. That's not how you do it. You just one rotation. Not that I could hit accurately,

but I did do it all right. Look, I beat Jackie every game. Some kind of a big deal. Men! Men! Men! They can't compete. That's why the professional... I didn't play against anybody better than me.

Well, game one was me and Jackie. Game two was Jackie and I. World Series. We played three games. You're like, you sweeper, and you don't play the third. You only do that once. We've only gone to do that once. What was that thing? We've only gone to do that once and it's just like, not my thing. I got to lose.

I had fun, the idea of axe throwing. After like 30 or 40 minutes, I was like, yeah, I don't think we need the whole hour to be honest with you. I kind of axed out. There was the group next to us and they didn't do anything wrong. They were having a blast.

But everybody next to a group that's laughing, like laugh screaming, and they're just cheering each other on with every throw. You guys are very excited about this. This is not that exciting. Alcohol would mix well with this place. I want one side of the building to be ax throwing and the other to be a bar. That's what it was. Yeah, yeah. it was attached to a bar are you kidding that's the last place terrible idea that's the last place i went no that's the last place i the only place i've ever

gone axe throwing was an axe throwing sports bar and it has like a big giant cage on the side that you go and you open up and there's like five six lanes and you go in there and you throw your axes and then you go out and you eat your jalapeno poppers and have a beer like it's how can you allow drunk people to throw axes they do they do allow it is there a waiver yes there's a waiver okay but the people like i remember the some of the people i was standing next to there's like a gate in. It's like a batting cage where, like, there's... If they over-serve you and you fucking scalp your girlfriend, like, they're in so much trouble.

I mean, no. That thing's crazy. The waiver, I guess, is... Waivers are mostly horse shit when you get to court, I've found. And I'm pretty sure if they over-serve you, they always take that very seriously. Yeah. You know? Like, if you can... You've got your blood alcohol level like to the decimal

point right after you scalp your girlfriend and i think i think you're in a lot of trouble i i don't recall anybody being like blackout hammered when i was doing it a few years ago but like i doubt if some guy is like stumbling he's like, I don't want to do the ax. There's no way that guy... The group next to us... How about the hatchet? Celebrate your friends. Taylor returns to the restroom and we're all like, Taylor!

You the man! You guys might be drinking. Well, I mean, that sounds kind of nice. It is nice. How was your piss? Pretty good, boys. Pretty good. If I'm going to do something like that, I'd rather go paintball

and indoor or somewhere like that. If I'm going to do that sort of aim or something that has target in it, I'd rather do that. I'd even do airsoft with pistols. You know what's fun? Laser tag. Laser tag is fun.

It's a little more dangerous than you think because you're running really quick and the other people are seven, so you can hurt them. Everyone else is seven, and so you're just running behind a kid, never letting his vest reset. Yes.

Oh, my God. If you're trying to get the highest score, that's how you do it. Yeah. You just find some poor kid, and you're like, get the highest score that's how you do it yeah you just find some poor kid and you're like you're gonna have here begins a bad memory for you son you just trail them don't let their best reset but yeah i i haven't laser tagged since i was a kid so i don't think i'd want to jump back to that i laser tagged with woody uh like like like six

seven eight years ago maybe uh is it interesting i actually today i re-watched that fight the john jones chael son and fight i found this russian youtube channel that has all the greatest fights on it for free on youtube that was one of the greatest okay that's well you know not the greatest it depends on your measure right all of the the big ones it was a big big event it was on there and uh i think the fight's seven minutes long you know it's at night it's right to the point he i didn't remember him bullying chael quite so much and it being such a boring fight they clenched against the fence for minutes at a time and he towered over chael clearly the two weight classes between them clearly i heard shale tell the story and he's like i'm in

there i'm on six different steroids so i'm like and i'm one of the greatest grapplers at 185 pounds so i figure i'll go to one or two or five and you know apply my trade there it's like and then i tried to move john jones on six steroids simultaneously and he didn't move at all so I thought I know your secret you're on steroids too that's how he tells the story so nothing went his way yeah I like when he talks about um someone asked recently if he was ever afraid or or something like that he's like well I'll say this you don't always go out and think you're going to win. Really? Oh, yeah. When I went out to fight Jon Jones, I knew it was going to be a rough night.

Really? That's a big compliment. He knew he couldn't beat Jon Jones. Yeah, because it was like. He still talks shit about Jon Jones all the time. Oh, yeah. Knowing that his nose is only straight because Jon Jones allows it to be so. Right? Yeah.

He keeps Jon Jones promoted. Like, yeah. Um, I, he, he keeps John Jones promoted. Like, like I think they're buddies. I think they're buddies. I think jail is, jail is like an old school WWF guy.

The way he plays that sort of heel and all that crazy, um, wrestling, wrestling gamesmanship. Like, like he wants to tell a story and you, everything is veiled with some sort of gamesmanship. When he wants to tell a story and you everything is veiled with some sort of gamesmanship when he makes a video he's clearly he knows how to pronounce those

people's names oh he knows okay like like he's it's part of a bigger game he wants you to correct him in the comments that's how the algorithm works dummy that's right yeah oh you're 100% right he is absolutely doing this he's he's always playing the the meta game um even the insults like you said he knows what he's up to and like he'll talk about contenders and the big joke used to be like where does kevin holland fit into all of this taking a guy who's ranked like ninth at the time and pretending he's one of the two or three vying for a title because that's his friend. He did it all the time. Yeah, I really enjoy chill of sports.

X. I know you're a Rangers fan. Did you get to throw out a first pitch? I did last year. That's around this time. You threw out a first pitch? Yeah, I did. Like a real baseball game?

Yeah, I mean, it's gone with the Rangers. And then most recently, so we've done two collaborations with the Rangers. We've done a jersey, two jerseys. The first one was better than the second one, in my opinion. But on the second one for Optic Night at the Rangers ball club, at the Rangers Stadium against the Houston Astros this year, we had the wordmark of Optic on the mound, so it was on TV the entire time was like on tv the the entire time

yeah that's the first time that's me and scum who had the better pitch you were scum uh him but he's athletic but he was well i'm not but look there's no shame in losing to scum how's that no no No, no, no. He was in front of the mound. I was right on parallel to where I was supposed to be throwing from. Oh, he cheated. I shouldn't have thrown a curveball. That was on me. And that's what happened.

I would be so nervous to throw out a first pitch. I would be thinking about that nonstop the whole day before and that whole day leading up, just being like, don't make an ass of yourself. Get it there. Just get it there. Do you practice a lot, Hicks? No. You've got to remember, Woody and I grew up in a place where everybody had to play every sport. You had to be good at

every fucking sport, period. You couldn't just be good at soccer. You had to be good at basketball. Yeah, but you didn't warm up a little? No. Oh, no, no. I did loosen up the arm 100% the day before i was like throwing i was like no i i haven't thrown a baseball in years i wouldn't want to spend like a couple days throwing one in the backyard of somebody no i the guy that sold me this house was uh was it was the next pitcher uh and we kept in contact with him and and uh i'm like hey i'm

like yo you still have that your baseball thing. And I'm like, we're going to come out and make a video. Like I was practicing, you know, to promote, uh, the Rangers, uh,

the optic night at the Rangers. Um, but yeah, this is, uh, we, we just did it again. Uh,

next year we're going to do it again and we're just going to keep, keep having fun with, uh, with those teams. We get a Mavericks night. That would be cool. That's awesome. I have double vision,

so I will never be good at baseball. And because of that, I never really played baseball. So not only am I like born to be bad at it, I've never done anything to change that situation. And shit, I think if I practiced for a week solid, I could become a lot less embarrassing. Listen, if another human can do it, you can too. Maybe you won't throw as fast, but accuracy, like, you know.

Right. I want it to look like what happened was what I meant to happen. Yeah. I'm going to get it. If we just did a shooting video, an NBA 2K basketball video. Yeah. That's the, yeah, that's the recent one. But we, and it was a basketball video.

I'm half there. They're half my age and I beat their ass. Just shooting contests. Something simple. They don't grow up playing sports. They grow up playing something else and their coordination isn't as fluid as it was back in the 90s.

90s is the greatest time period in the history of mankind. That's when we peak. That's true. That's when Seinfeld was coming out. Yeah, dude. Think about it, right? Just think about that era. Everything was new. Everything was being created. Music. Think about all the greatest bands.

Well, maybe, obviously, the Queens and all that, but if you think about the bands, you think about hip-hop, you think about pop culture. It all happened in the 90s yeah i think i would have liked this a little van life ass grass or cash right just spend a year or two in your 20s not being productive fuck that i think of that as more pre-90s right now is the best time to be alive like right fucking now this second and and tomorrow will be better and it's gonna it's that hasn't changed you know and so long whenever they i love when they show the um they'll

they'll pull people do you what do you think about crime these days oh it's so much more dangerous than it used to be and then they show crime and it's been better every year forever every year like there might be a step a stutter step, you know? I'm sure the pandemic was a weird time where crime went violently down. It's gone up the past few years, but overall, you're right. Like, it's so much lower, I think, almost everywhere than it was in, like, the 70s. Early 80s, I was going to say, so we're about... Yeah, like a crime wave in the 80s, right?

Something like that. That's because everyone was just... Maybe the 70s, because that's when you had the Charlie Brons the 80s right? Maybe the 70s because that's when you had the Charlie Bronson movie right? When they rape his wife and daughter. Warriors is the peak of that stuff to me. That's the scariest thing.

You were saying that gangs that dress up like obviously you know, I don't know themable gangs and shit. I don't know. Since you know the Warriors which gang is the scariest? I don't know, themeable gangs and shit. I don't know. Since you know the Warriors, which gang is the scariest? I don't remember the names of them, but the baseball bats have always been the scariest thing for me. They were the scariest.

Their name was the baseball bats? No, they dressed like Yankees, and they had baseball bats and face paint. They were all athletic, and they attacked you with baseball bats. And here you are good at street fighting. And there's a team of people with baseball bats. It's a problem. Yeah. That beats the Cowboys would have been the real standout.

The Cowboys would have been a bigger problem. With their pistols. There weren't a lot of gun gangs. There were girls on roller skates. They'd be a total non-issue. Like, what are you thinking? Boys on roller skates aren't tough. Girls on roller skates, they'd be a total non-issue. Like, what are you thinking? Boys on roller skates aren't tough.

Girls on roller skates, get the fuck out of here. I could just tip you over. You wouldn't want to be on roller skates for your gang activity. You wouldn't want to get kicked with one, though. No, certainly not. Oh, on the shin? No way. In the face, man? I give up the gang life. Got kicked by one of those skate gals.

Nasty, deep thigh bruise. Now was it like roller derby bitches? Her name's like Meg or Mog. I think they were dressed roller derby like. Mod. I'm not sure we got to know their names.

I think they tried to seduce our heroes for a while. And then once they had them in a room or something. It's been a while. I'm the 80s. I'm going to watch that. I'm going to go back in time. You said 90s

was the best for movies. What are your top 90s movies? Oh my god. Heat. One of them for sure. When did Starship Troopers come out? Yeah. That one's fucking fucking great that's early 2000s that's like um no no 1998 starship troopers 1998 oh are you right or are you guessing i'm guessing you'll be right kyle backed off quickly on his claim 1997 hang on let me let me 97 oh was it 97

yeah i thought i was i i watched it with my dad in theaters. I remember that. I would have been 11, I think. I really enjoyed that movie. I'm told it didn't do the books justice, but I still liked it. Were you laughing at Taylor? Because you were. No, I was laughing because you're like 1997.

I would have been 11, I think. And it's like, what do you mean you think? Like it's even more than 86. That's a little math there. I don't know what month it came out, Taylor. There's a big difference between a 10-year-old and an 11-year-old. Cool, you're just not everyone knows 97 minus 86. That's not a thing that people just know.

No, I think it is. It's incalculable. I'm pretty sure. Kyle puts himself back in the math knowledge of himself at the time. Here are other good movies that came out in 1997. Total Recall. I think that was Braveheart.

Did Braveheart come out in 1997? Braveheart came out in 1997. Demolition man with wesley snipes and sylvester stallone um you know like the stargate was really good back in the day i mean this is all new shit not bad bad movies i've seen them all and i like them all but i like them because i like nerdy sci-fi they aren't they don't have good acting or they're weak in one like key facet like if they were a fallout character you'd be like whoa you skipped intelligence all together what happened

like the the stargate movie which i like way better than the tv show which i never got into you got kurt russell there and you got um who's homeboy from secretary he's uh anyway that that good actor and the premise is cool they go through this interdimensional portal that they dug up in egypt that takes you to another planet that is like the father race of the egyptian um like culture so they've got pyramids there too because they taught the egyptians how to make pyramids and so it's it's a sci-fi egyptian culture on this other planet and then it gets pretty silly. They immediately somehow are able to communicate with the human slave people there and form an uprising.

They arm them. They overthrow the evil Egyptian space people. And then Kurt Russell. First try. It's a little dark, though, because it begins with Kurt Russell sitting there about to eat a pistol. though because it begins with kurt russell sitting there about to eat a pistol because kurt russell's son like i think finds a handgun that's unattended at home and offs himself accidentally like a seven-year-old son or some shit and then kurt russell is like army colonel guy about to off himself and he gets the call we found an egyptian interdimensional portal, sir. We need you. And he like shakes off all that depression,

buttons his fucking uniform up and goes off with James Spader to another dimension. And no one calls him on it. There's no psychological evaluation. They caught him like gun in his mouth. And then he was like, all right, if you have a mission for me. I haven't seen the movie in a coon's age, but the way I remember it is like,

he's about to eat the fucking pistol and they ring his phone or knock on the door and he's like, what? I'm busy in here. And they're like, we need you. He just goes off. Dude, if he has a gun in his mouth and an annoying knock at the door, wouldn't you think he just...

Just another thing. What did you guys think of Maverick oh the movie tom cruise i haven't seen the new one or the old one the new one i liked it uh i thought i didn't love it i thought i loved it i thought that that uh piano scene was over the top cheese oh yeah when they're singing the song song that Goose sang back in the day. And it looks over-the-top cheesy for me. I also thought, and this is some nitpicky shit. Over-the-top great movie also. Stallone's arm wrestling flick.

Yeah. I also thought that it was a little silly that they made it seem like you had to do this hot dog maneuver that only one man on the planet could do to get a bomb in a hole and as an american i promise you we have many ways to put bombs in holes and and it doesn't involve hot dog maneuvers from tom cruise it could if we wanted it to we just don't need to i guarantee you we got like eight or eight or nine different ways of putting a bomb in that hole just the way it needed to go. So that takes me out of it a little bit. But I love Tom Cruise.

I love the music. I liked him on that fucking motorcycle. I like the roof blowing off at the beginning when he soaps. That piece of shit ruins that research and development program that was probably multiple billions of dollars because he wants to go to Mach 11 or whatever. I liked it, but I didn't love it. I thought it was great. I watched that shit back to back days. That last movie I did that on was... I liked it a lot.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, the Tarantino flick, I watched that back to back. I watched it and I was like, you want to watch that shit again? My dad was like, roll it back. We watched that shit twice. Same day? Yeah, back it back. And we watched that shit twice. The same day?

Yeah, like back to back. I started it over. Yeah, yeah, that's great. That's great. I love when people don't give those a shot. I love when that happens. That was the last time I can remember being absolutely exuberant. If you don't want to be spoiled for the end of Tarantino's movie,

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, and don't let me spoil it, go watch it, you uncultured swine. It's going to 5.42. The whole time you think that Sharon Tate is going to get butchered, that Margot Robbie, in essence, because she's playing Sharon Tate, is going to get butchered by these pieces of shit, these hippie scumbags, these filthy, dirty-footed Walmart, white trash, brainwashed scum who, these filthy, dirty-footed Walmart white trash,

brainwashed scum who don't deserve to eat her trash are going to go kill Margot Robbie and paint the walls and write pig on the walls in her pregnant dead baby blood. And you're just dreading it. I was. I'm sitting there upset that that's coming because

it's been such a wonderful movie thus far, but I've been apprehensive because I know how it ends because I know how it actually went. And then history diverts. And I realized we're in the Tarantino universe. I remember that. Of course we are. This is where World War II ended with a Tommy gun shootout and some Jews suicide bombing the Fuhrer. That's what happened. And that's's what happened Went down to the Tarantino universe it's a different world And I was exuberant Watching Brad Pitt and his Pitbull massacre

Mame and destroy The Manson family And then you get and just when I Was like sore from Laughing and cheering you get to Leonardo DiCaprio and I know He's gonna get the flamethrower out know he's gonna get the flamethrower out i'm just like get the flamethrower and when he does he just shows up and burns that already

blind massacred bitch alive and it's just it's wonderful it's wonderful i i haven't enjoyed a movie that much since then it was so great i loved it there's a good um it's not martial arts show that i just started watching it got recommended to me on tiktok i know why do i have tiktok but um it's called bloodhounds on netflix so fucking good it's in korean i mean you can put it in english but i watched in korean with the subtitles it was usually better have you guys seen it bloodhounds i have no i've never heard of it. Watch the first episode. And you know what's crazy? It's fucking gruesome. It's fucking gruesome.

It's so good. I like the Korean horror movies they have on there. I haven't watched a lot of Korean stuff, but what I have watched, I've always liked. I've watched a few Korean horrors, and I love that train from Busan to Busan. I thought that was really good but um so this is on netflix you said netflix yeah bloodhounds let me write it down in my old

timey notebook there it is bloodhounds i'll have to check that out i'm looking for something new to but dude watch i hope that you guys like it as much as i did but as you guys just heard i loved top gun maverick so i'm really good at i'm really good at separating logic from reality when watching these things so when it's really bad it really it it's got to be like the worst thing ever like the movie driven holy that is the worst acted movie i've ever seen sylvester stallone um he's a formula one driver yep sharon stone yes right so bad so bad it's garbage he made a lot of them he made a lot of them he um sylvester stallone is a terrible actor he's just bad you know and he

is or no like rambo i love rambo the last two rebels were fucking great. He has these shining moments where he has Rocky 1 and Rocky 2, to some lesser extent, obviously. Good movies. Great movies. Rocky 1, original screenplay, Oscar, or something like that. He wrote the fucking thing. And then Rambo. I like Rambo.

First Blood is great. I don't really like the next ones. They're just kind of schlock. They're machine gunning Vietnamese people. And I can get down with that. I made videos about that. Isn't that what the whole first one is? No, the first one we've discussed this before, but only one person dies in the first one. And it's an accidental death. The first one is about a Vietnam vet being bullied by law enforcement and going into a PTSDtsd episode and fleeing into the forest and being pursued by the sheriff's department who's led by that overzealous sheriff and the national guard

the whole time rambo was begging to avoid confrontation and they're chasing him constantly dogging him through the forest trying to force him to kill them basically and then he snaps at the end and like in the book he kills himself you know but and we needed sequels so in the book he cried in the movie he cries and his colonel hugs him and he goes to prison that's how rambo first blood is and that's a good movie because that's a lot of good acting on on sly's shoulders but man these days he makes junk he just made expendables four i think ronda rousey's in that shit or something like come on he's making bad movies i think sylvester salone's in his mid-70s he's got a tv show right now where he's a retired gangster who just got out of prison and he's like living in the modern world and it's he's

like he's strong arms uh dispensary guy he goes and he's like you now you give me money and i was like it's it's all digital what are you talking To Taylor's point, he's getting too old to be an actor. He should be president. He looks big. You should. After you hit 70, hang up your fucking acting chops, get into politics, see if you can run the world.

That'll be the first time. Worked with Reagan. I moved from home alone to the White House. That's true trump was well i wouldn't give him too much credit for the success of home alone to uh trapped in new york what is it caught in new york lost in new york lost it was a very close election there's no telling he probably wouldn't have won without his home alone to fame like that's i mean that's what got me in 2016 i'm like a home alone guy like

what if i need direction somewhere we got to keep him in power yeah yeah so that's just the lunch you probably oh speaking of older actors he's not even as old as so lester stallone but i saw it today pretty sad so bruce uh willis is like non-verbal now. He can't communicate verbally. He can't read. Finally, the movie's end. Good. Did you see him at his birthday party? Is that what you saw? I saw an article today that was his frontal

dementia, whatever subtype is that. Aphasia is the first thing. Now he has like full blown dementia like he can't fully understand language like he can't read anymore i saw him at his birthday party they brought the cake out he was so happy he was really excited i think it was from like this week like it's super current and uh he Talking and he was like excited But it was almost like Down syndrome excited like like

He doesn't seem like he's really Happy he's having a great time But I'm not sure he fully understands Who all these people are and what's happening he just Knows it's a good day well I'll tell you you know Yeah he kept making those movies And uh it was it was upsetting

They call them geezer teasers where they have a $4 million budget and he gets like 3.9 of it. And then they stream together this bullshit fucking movie with him on the cover and then he usually sits in a chair through most of it or gets CGI'd into some space uniform or something. It's a good thing he did all that.

He's got a fucking earpiece in his ear the whole time just like talking because he can't remember the lines anymore. What's his best movie? His best movie as far as performance, or like my favorite movie? My favorite movie might be Die Hard with a Vengeance, which is Die Hard 3. Okay. Samuel L. Jackson and him pair up, so that's a good one. Die Hard 2 should just be removed, because 1 and 3 are direct sequels.

It's the brother of the villain from the first one has come back played by and he's played by Jeremy irons this time. And he makes McClane, he's bombs are in schools all over New York city. And he makes McClane go to Harlem or like the black part of New York, which I, you know, New York.

And he has, he's in his underwear with a sign that says, I hate ninjas, but it doesn't say ninjas and it ain't censored. It's just a big sign that says, I hate the N word. And he's say ninjas. It ain't censored. It's just a big sign that says, I hate the N-word. He's standing there because that's what the man's making him do or he's going to blow up a school. Sam Jackson gets involved because he's like, call 911. Tell them somebody's about to get murdered. He's like, do you see the homeboys over there? Because you got

about three seconds before they notice you and murder you right here. And he's like, nothing I can do about it, man. He's trying to play like he's crazy. I am the child of the Lord Almighty. His light charge threw me in onto you. And they've got switchblades in his face. That's my favorite. He's like, no,

I hate the term. I hate the term. You won't ever get me using this word. I'm reading this good. Wait, you don't like it? No, come on. So good. This doesn't appreciate culture.

I mean, look, if you're a kid, I'll tell you what, 12, 13-year-old boy movie, holy shit, Armageddon. You get that one scene where he's like feeling live tyler up like playing where they're slightly hairy belly button uh woody rebrown that over and over on that hairy live tyler again he's walking an animal cracker up or like midriff and yeah yeah and he's way too old for her by the way and he's like talking about like going down under with his animal cracker and she's like do they continue cocksucker and and the whole love story underneath steve buscemi like riding the nuclear weapon them crash landing the space shuttle onto a big jagged asteroid and then

blowing it up it's all like cartoon network saturday morning shit i don't know. It's too silly. It's too silly. I'm surprised you're talking about Bruce Willis movies and you haven't talked about Pulp Fiction. That's probably the best one he's in, right? Oh, yeah, dude. Yes, such a great... Another Quentin Tarantino movie. Yeah, but he's part of an ensemble there.

The Fifth Element is a good Bruce Willis movie. Him and Mila Jovovich are kind of doing that thing. What is The Fifth Element? I guess the better question, what are the other four? Ah, Earth, Wind, Water, Fire. Kyle oversold the belly hair on Liv Tyler. The Fifth Element is Mila Jovovich's hot fucking ass wearing nothing but bandages and doing kung fu with orangey hair.

And she doesn't speak english so she can't tell anybody what you do to her no one holds this title for very long but she may have had there may have been like the most beautiful earthling on the planet when they made that she is earthling sound very natural the most oh yeah i'm quite the charmer aren't you quite the specimen? She changes her clothes to get naked and the priests turn around because they avert their eyes and the one's like, they really make her.

And the other guy's like, perfect, yes. Everybody's melting down about how fucking hot she is. She's super hot. And she's wearing bandages for most of the movie. That was her idea, the bandage costume. It's just wraps of bandage. It inspired so many hotties, Hallowe movie. That was her idea. The bandage costume. It's just wraps of bright bandage. That inspired so many hotties, Halloween's. Oh, hell yeah.

I don't remember that far back. She's done Full Frontal before. She's the chick from Resident Evil as well. Oh yeah, really good. The first one was good. Sure. Sure. She made like eight of them. Oh yeah, i didn't

they're all about the same level of shitty they're all terrible is that the first one's fine no the first one's fine and they all try to stay somewhat true to the story but if you're like a real fan of the comics not out of the the games not that i'm really am but from what i hear it's like come on that character doesn't do that or like that's not what he's supposed to be. It's frustrating, even when they try to be true to it. I like action movie schlock,

but if we're talking about real good movies, Fifth Element's fucking one of my favorites. Even with Chris Tucker's silly ass. I'm almost sure. I don't think they make movies like they used to. I really don't. I think there's a big algorithm that has to say yes before the purse strings get untied

for a movie that costs a certain amount of money. And it seems like there's not a lot of drive for those movies that are like $50 to $75 million. Those small, not some indie flick that's horseshit, but also not Avengers 87 87 you know i i've seen enough billion dollar movies i'd like to see some i don't know some detective yeah you know nor you know we don't have enough of that uh event horizon was one of them that was also a good sci-fi movie i've seen that all the time i've seen that watch that i yeah i talk about that all the time. I've seen that one. I've been forced to watch that. Wait, that's the one where Sam Neill is on the spaceship

and everything starts getting, I don't want to give anything away. No, no, no. Because I actually know that one and I like it a lot. That was a good movie. So Event Horizon, then there is Donnie Brasco, The Game. What a movie, The Game. Great twist in the end. Highly recommended.

Michael Douglas? I haven't seen The Game. I don't think I have either. I bet Kyle. Michael Douglas? I haven't seen the game. I bet Kyle has. Really? You haven't seen it? I lean on you to have seen every movie, man. No, I mean, there's big stuff I didn't watch or haven't watched. Notable releases

also. Gattaga. Oh, that's so good. Con Air. Devil's Advocate. release this also uh gadiga oh that's so good con air uh devil's advocate contact the postman man goodwill hunting u-turn money talks i mean i don't know about that shit all right i've seen all those so those are all pretty fucking good um yeah i was talking about i'm not done i'm not fucking done it's so good face off gang related nothing to lose dante's peak the devil's own double team with fucking dennis rodman and volcano and dante's peak in the same year uh volcano of course being the tommy lee jones volcano movie where la kind of melts down

and dante's peak being the uh the one with uh pierce and Linda Hamilton. Correct. Yeah. Up in like Oregon or something. There's a part in that where this lake becomes acidified by the eruption. And it's like now it's acid water, but we got to get across. It was a grand paddling,

but the paddles are melting and the boat smoking and granny gets out of waist deep acid and starts pushing the boat and her whole lower body is just melting and she's just like, and she pushes them forward

and they don't show up, but her pussy's just eating off and stuff and she just lays there and dies. Yeah, it's awful. Her whole lower body is just dissolved off. You know what they used to do back then is that they used to two different studios would drop the

same concept in different one remember um 12 uh three days three days later or the day after tomorrow the day after tomorrow they had other other ones but let me finish this fucking incredible year of 1997 year that i should have graduated uh double high school yeah i got held back so i didn't know how to swim. Volcano. All right, here we go. Murder at 1600. Do you remember that one with Wesley Snipes?

Yeah. Batman and Robin? Eh. I get that confused with Passenger 57, which I feel like is also like a Wesley Snipes airplane movie. Mm-hmm. Yes. I think we're almost done here, and I think I just need to bring metro with uh eddie

really good yeah i've seen eddie murphy yeah eddie murphy eddie murphy was a huge fucking star back in the back of the day he had those cop movies oh dude selena obviously not your you guys aren't the demographic where j-lo plays that uh dude you dude you are my fucking man dude you know as much about movies as i do the jackal another that's where bruce willis it's a book he's got this badass gun i've used that gun system that he was fucking with it's basically remote control 50 cal sniper machine gun and uh jack black is like his weapons dude and he makes jack flax hold this pack of Marlboro cigarettes up down the Creek bed.

And he, and he like shoots it off. And I think, I can't remember if he hits the pack of cigarettes first, but I think they're like, Oh good. It's set. And then he just blows Jack Black's arm off for the fuck of it.

It's so hardcore. Jack Black was, uh, in the nineties. Yes. He was, Jack Black's been in stuff forever. Yeah, yeah.

Since a kid. He used to do... He's in kids' commercials for Gak or something. I can't remember what. He's been doing stuff forever. Yeah. I didn't know that. Well, why did he fucking shoot Jack Black's arm off?

Because he's the bad guy. He's the jackal. He's the jackal. He was being funny. Okay. I think we're almost done, but i cannot believe what i'm fucking seeing because i keep hitting the scroll button and new ones come out are you ready the pest with john lewis amo did you ever watch that that's a shitty movie i like john i think i saw that as a

kid yeah shit shit movie uh about uh the the what is it the most dangerous game uh the saint with val kilmer do you remember that one saying that i like that it's got is that elizabeth shoe in there with him i don't think so i think it's uh the the lady from um uh con air the same lady about pots i think it's actually blonde lady oh no you're right i remember him was it elizabeth shoe i think so right here i'm checking right now boom boom boom because he's like val kimmer's putting on all these disguises and he's like a different he's always really good looking most well most of the time though like you know he's super good looking doing voices and stuff yeah i like that now yeah he's he's he's not doing so well these days did he die like he was in

maverick but he was all man wow you are fucking on your shit i am impressed um the rainmaker with uh matt dave john grisham's the rainmaker yes yes now is that directed by i am so fucking impressed dude i am so impressed he knows just so you understand the the the the gravity of 1997 in in in in movies right because uh also right also with that i'm skipping like the ones that are like obscure i think uh but there is also the rainmaker and beverly hills ninja uh chris farley that's a good one whoever the girl is in that is really hot that's a he's he's uh i owned that on vhs so i've seen that over and over. I could quote that one. Private Parts. Of course, Howard Stern's movie.

And then Riot, Hoodlum, and Alien Resurrection. But one... I saw Resurrection in theaters with my grandma. And to cherry on top, to end it all, G.I. Jane. You've got those

big fucking titties everywhere. First of all, you've got those big fucking titties everywhere. First of all, you've got who is it plays Aragorn? Viggo Mortensen. Viggo Mortensen being lieutenant piece of shit. And you've got Demi Moore with her big titties. Can't even pull herself out of the water.

Going to be the first Navy SEAL. Yeah, it's a fun movie too. I've been looking for horror movies to watch for Halloween because I like to watch scary shit. I like to actually be scared and it's hard to find stuff that'll do that to me because I don't like

gore. It's not that I want to avoid gore. My face is hanging out here. I don't want torture porn. I don't want to sit there and watch fingers get chopped off and that not be the end of the movie. There's a good movie that I can think there and watch fingers get chopped off and that not be like the end of the movie now i mean there's a good movie that i can think of what's that midsummer midsummer yeah it was okay i like ari aster um i i i like um the pre i didn't know that was a scary movie

oh my god yeah it's it's upsetting it's more an upsetting movie. It is a very upsetting movie. I don't watch witches and devil shit or ghosts. I don't watch those. You just don't like them or they scare you more? In 1984, let me see when the fuck in this movie came out, just to make sure that I'm being accurate. The Exorcist.

Original. The Exorcist. I think it was in 1979, though, isn isn't it i thought it was older 1973 in 1984 when i was four years old my aunts my my dad's uh sisters put that on and say oh come watch this fucking movie it's it's funny it wasn't it wasn't since then i don't watch like even looking at it, it upsets me. So you're Catholic, huh? No. I mean, I grew up Catholic. I went to a Catholic school from kindergarten to sixth grade.

Yeah. So that is why that's so impactful to you. And that's a big part of why it was such a big deal back then. For a modern audience that might be less religious or more specifically less Catholic it's not as impactful but it scared the shit out of me the first time I saw it. That's such a good point. But that's why it works so well.

Exorcist was scary. I haven't seen it since I was like 14 but it was scary. It spooked me. I've watched a lot of reviews of it and seen a lot of people talk about it and I agree with this point it it's two directors i think and one of them's previous work is a lot of documentaries like medical documentaries and stuff and so there's that first scene where they exhaust everything that's not fucking made up nonsense they do what we do with our kid you know all right this doctor then that doctor and this specialist uh the shrink

the fucking neurologist the the the the every doctor every expert both hospitals this side of town that side of town and they're the kids going through those terrible like like like like an ancient mri that like jiggles your head like a paint mixer or something they're injecting dyes directly into her carotid artery and she's just like, little bitch here! Ah! Put a turkey baster up her ass. She's in tremendous

pain going through these tests that we, as the audience know, are useless. We're just watching her be tortured by her own family before the demon can resume its torture, right? And then you finally get to the exorcism. Oh my god, that should fucking scare me.

Dude. This whole fucking time. This whole fucking time, I'm like, I keep saying, I'm like, alright, it's there, it's there. Right now, as you're telling that, I'm like, I'm like fucking like going back into that scary spot. And I'm like, oh my god. It is spooky. You can set yourself up.

Hex has a glow-in-the-dark skeleton man behind him, and he scared himself somehow with his own prop. I didn't want to spook you, Kyle, or interrupt, but there is a bug on the wall behind you. It's a mosquito. I saw him. He was here earlier, I think. Oh, that's not a very scary bug.

That's a big-ass mosquito. I sent a picture the other day. Chiz says it wasn't a mosquito. I saw him. He was here earlier, I think. Oh, that's not a very scary bug. Okay. No. That's a big-ass mosquito, though. Oh, I sent a picture the other day. Chis says it wasn't a mosquito, that thing that attacked me the other day. He said it was like a mosquito egg-eating insect, but it had this huge proboscis on it coming out, like a huge one. Oh, like a mayfly-looking thing? Big, though. It must have had a wingspan of two inches and it

i started recording it because i was shocked at how big it was it was in my house and it came right at me like aggressively it's like and i hit it with the camera phone while recording the video and down his ass right there and then zoom in like you got knocked the fuck out you gotta you to watch my videos. It gets lost in the mix between like, I'm like, all right, this is clearly a beheading. There's like pieces of a dead guy. Oh, look, a white one of the participants is a car. Here's one I know you didn't watch.

I sent it to you today. And I added a little text. It said, ha ha, the Israelis bombed some Cabbage Patch Kids. Because what it was, it was Hamas propaganda. Look, all things aside, this little window was Hamas propaganda where

they were pretending like they had dead babies, but they were clearly baby dolls. Like, you can tell. And it was... What was that? did you hear that yeah that was me i went to your youtube channel and then i was about to say i heard a hello my friend yeah yeah you did i you know what's crazy is like why the fuck is my thing feeding my thing i guess that's how it works no worries um because you're like you gotta watch my videos and i'm

like oh i wonder if he's fucking uploading it no i'm right now we're like in the thread yeah yeah i know what's that pm them shit but but like if you don't click that video you might think i'm making a joke about actual dead babies which i wouldn't do that's too dark even for our little chat i got other chats for that so if you click it you see oh look at that it literally is a cabbage patch kid with rub you know wrapped in a blanket and with some schmutz on its face. Look, if I lay a certain way, you'd think I was dead too, right?

You can make a Cabbage Patch Kid look like whatever you want. You've got to click all my videos. It's high-quality content. I'm a media aggregator, okay? There's too many dead people in your clips, I'll say it. Why aren't there time how about more

silly ones i bet you can't even name the last time i sent you a clip of a dead person or a dying person you sent me a clip of the phillies game seven final score and that's worse you know what woody i only did that because the way whatsapp saves pictures the other day you sent me a picture when the phillies beat the braves and you said welcome to philly bitch i didn't say anything and then my phone said memories from one year ago when you did it last year and you had it was literally you with the same screenshot when you guys beat us last year. Same thing. So I didn't put any text. I said, go Rangers.

And then I sent the scoreboard of the D-back. Yeah, that was hurtful. I can't believe you did that. Well, I'm all in on the Rangers now. Very respectful. On Team Hex. Who are they playing? Arizona, right?

Yeah, yeah. Arizona Diamondbacks, yeah. I know baseball. Fucking Arizona. They don't even deserve to be there. It's the first time they've been there since 2001, which they must have had Randy Johnson back then. Yeah, words out of my mouth. You don't have to be a baseball

fan to know Randy Johnson. He killed that bird. That's his logo for his photography. He's 6'4 or something. Had that scowl. He had that pockmarked, ugly ass, white man face.

He's like, let's wrap this game up. I got hate crimes to get to. He looked like he's in the... He'd be the one who stood the crucifix up because he's tall. Look at him, bro. Great. What an athlete, dude. One of my favorite ever. He is, though. It's an intimidating

pitcher. He's not built for arm wrestling. He threw very fast. And he'd be... I remember watching that series because we weren't in it. What is happening here? He's an NFL photographer? Yeah.

Oh. That's awesome. That's so cool. This dude's got it all and he's like, I want to go work on something that I've always loved. Photography. One of the coolest stories. What's Brett Favre doing now?

Another one of my favorites. Brett Favre? He's robbing poor people in Mississippi, right? Brett Favre is a photo journalist now? He's saying, what's Brett Favre doing? He's robbing poor people in Mississippi, right? Brett Favre is a photo journalist now or per sports? No, he's saying what's Brett Favre doing? He's a thief. So Brett Favre.

Not a favorite no more. Brett Favre steals money from poor children in his home state. It's what he does. And I saw this TikTok. Like contacted Brett Favre's people about like, hey, we want to hire Brett for a speaking engagement. And they're like, oh, hey, we want to hire Brett for a speaking engagement. And they're like, oh, well, he's not entertaining anything that's under $150,000 for one of these speaking engagements.

And they're like, oh, you know, actually, before you sent that reply, I just read all about how he stole all that money from those children. I'm not sure if I want to be associated with a child thief or with a thief who steals like no i'm giving it to even poorer kids yeah he literally did and you can see i think there's text messages where he's conspiring and basically saying i'm paraphrasing but basically saying hey it's not

gonna come out that i'm stealing this money from kids right you're gonna disguise where the million dollars come from because it'd look real bad if my if my fucking super bowl winning wrangler jean wearing multi multi-millionaire ass suddenly was stealing money from the chill poor children of my town i think he had some money like sent to make his daughter's high school like gymnasium super college gymnasium maybe okay like millions maybe for that it was millions it's like a destination wedding location now her fucking volleyball court it's a it looks fantastic yeah are these the texts someone read this these aren't real glasses hey brother deanna and hey brother deanna and still

owe 1.1 million on vball any chance you and n can help with that? They don't need it at the moment. You and Nancy stuck your neck out for me with Jake and Prevacus, I know, and that's going to turn out very good, I believe. Good to hear from you. Let me see what we can do. We certainly want to see the V-Ball project come together. I'll get back with you tomorrow. We value you, Brett, and are willing to always be supportive. Do not look at it as sticking our neck out as much as helping a friend and potentially many, many more who are in need if treatment. Wow. Bad grammar all around.

Yeah, that was fucking Christy. I read, though, it's hard to read when the words are wrong. Oh, dude. It is. Reading text messages you didn't send can be annoying. They have their little shorthand. You put a tone to it, and all of a sudden it's like, it's bad or good. Yeah good yeah well that's not good well another thing brett farve did that was

untoward was i think he sent a flaccid dick pic didn't he wasn't he flaccid the word he was i've seen his penis yeah i have as well and i remember thinking the lighting is off your dick's not hard like if on the checklist of dick pics it's almost like you tried to do it as bad as possible just i just look at it through the jeans maybe i'm soft core oh i was always noticing it in those that was the only part of those wrangler commercials i wanted yeah it's like damn look at him he must have been a good quarterback before my time even because when i would i remember watching him always throw the game away at the end because he's a gunslinger. I always just remember him just backing up, dropping back,

looking left, looking right, and just throwing it as hard as he fucking could and losing the game. Losing the game? What do you mean? Yeah, like throwing an INT or just losing the game right there. I remember that happening multiple times with multiple teams. I think he played Vikings and Green Bay maybe. Green Bay, he was

solid. As a Chicago Bears fan, it was a difficult time for me. Anybody can win one. Give them away. I don't think I could do it. I don't think anybody can win one. I think they can. I think all that shit's fake. I think most professional sports are fake, especially when you get the championship level i think they set it up

i think that at the very least they they shave huge points one way or the other to make certain matchups more profitable matchups happen um i've seen brothers there's a there's a you can watch youtube videos full of nfl players who think their superbowls were rigged. Famous, they're like, yeah, come on. Why wouldn't he play it? He benched him. They didn't play him in the second half. There's lots of instances. Jerry Rice. Jerry Rice thinks his Super Bowl is stolen.

The Kelsey brothers, one guy's a center for the Eagles, the other guy's a tight end for Kansas City, and they're both at the top of their game, like all stars, all pros, or whatever. They were doing a debate on whether an a normal person like one of us could gain one yard in the NFL yeah they came away with I thought they would like gatekeep a little bit but they're like one yard no they could do it they could do it it would have to be a play where not everyone on the field knew what he's about to get the ball and try to get one yard.

Like if it's punching in the end zone or something, then maybe not. But if, you know, if they have to spread the defense out, they don't know where it's going. I could pick up a yard. Yeah.

And then they said, but they might not like what happens at the end of the play. You know, the part where you get smashed, punished for gaining a yard. And I'm like yeah right i hate football that sounds about right i'm not durable enough to be no i i think if they were like rigging all sorts of games like the nfl would do it like hex just said you're a bears fan like chic, Chicago, enormous market. The Bears have a ton of fans.

And I don't know anything about the NFL, really, other than the Bears are a franchise that seemingly is always not good. They don't ever make it to the Super Bowl. Their fans are in constant torment. Like, if they were rigging it, wouldn't they rig Chicago up to the top before, like, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers so I'm not suggesting that there's a they're they're rigging to put a certain team in the into the Super Bowl

rigging the line that there are specific crews who might get like a tap on the shoulder for specific games because an instance needs to go left instead of right is is more what I'm thinking and I've seen NBA players to, like three or four of them. I don't know NBA players, but apparently, you know, like young new guys like sitting around a round table and be like, yeah, we let them know, you know, you better beat them by 15. You better beat them by 15 because and nobody wants to say it. It's like,

they're talking about one of the races that we're not allowed to talk about or one of the groups we're not allowed to talk about. So we just sort of wink and nod and call them Canadians or something. But they were inferring, I inferred that they were suggesting referee interference and conspiracy to make the game close at the end. You know, that's all. That's pretty much proven. It's documented.

Yeah, they've gotten caught. Yeah, there's an NBA ref who got caught. This isn't like 1920 like baseball. This is like five years ago. I'm a little shady on the history, but ref got caught. I think there were more refs doing it as well, and the NBA commissioner just sort of shut down the investigation, made it all about one scapegoat and moved on.

And I'm pretty sure I'm right. How much, how much would you need to get paid to, to be the scapegoat? How much would I say it again? Yeah. How much would you as a ref, would you need to get to get,

to get paid, to take the blame for that? Take the fall. It would have to be enough that like if you got caught it was like the cumulative of all your future earnings because if you get yeah so if it's like all right if i'm a if i'm a ref for the next uh 18 years until retirement age i would make i don't know 4.1 million dollars so it's got to be five. It's worse than that. You're getting blacklisted after this. Are you a guy who had...

If you're a ref, you bleed football. You'd love it. It's been your life. Clearly. If you're a fucking pro ref, you're about to get blacklisted from the thing you love. This is going to be like that... This is like asking that... Remember the guy who cheated at bass fishing? He's putting lead in the fish. His whole life imploded.

His wife is gonna leave him his friends fucking hate his guts now all right we're all those fish so you can't we're not talking about like the next three years of income you better give me like seven point and we're also not talking about like high school basketball we're talking about the nba you better give me seven and a half million dollars to keep my mouth shut before i break this nda like i mean i'll rig a high school man i'll go write a book right now shitting giggles now tripping five points to the other team but if you yeah if you want me to take the rap for that and be like yeah i have a gambling problem it was me and me alone i only did did it to games where it wouldn't affect the outcome but it would allow me to profit that was

my main cry you know tell the lie they tell and you'd need to pay me millions of dollars to keep that secret and not write a fucking tell-all book and you know because i'm probably going to jail people are gonna come after you right people that lost people who lost money might hold you personally fucking responsible and like there are people out there yeah of course i'm not talking about like like jim bob who who you know like maybe there's a fucking criminal who lost some money because of you who's the kind of guy who already hurts people on a regular basis and now you feel he feels like he you owe him money. That'd be a problem. Yeah. I mean, I would definitely, if I were a professional ref

and I got the opportunity and I was like sick of my job, I'd do it. You'd fix games? I think I'd at least, I think I'd dabble in a little game fix. It would depend because if it's basketball,

easy as shit. Just a bunch of trumped up charges all you have to do is like call fouls on one really good guy it's called walking when it actually happens yeah i was gonna say yeah i don't know about football because i'm not an i'm not an expert in any sport really but i feel like in basketball almost every play has something that could be called a travel something that could be called a foul, something that could be called a foul, a contact, et cetera. And it's just so much judgment involved in whether this is the kind of bullshit people get away with or the kind they don't.

Kyle, you're a baseball guy. You know, there's a bunch, like you don't tag a guy at second. You just sort of holding away that shows you could have safely. If you know, like there's a runner headed to first or runner headed to second.

I don't think you have to touch the guy going to second with the ball. Everyone calls him out. If you can like squeeze it. if it's a force, well, if it's headed to second. I don't think you have to touch the guy going to second with the ball. Everyone calls him out if you can squeeze it. Well, if it's forced, you don't have to tag him. I want to say there's some sort of rule of thumb in baseball where the guy's headed to second and maybe it's not forced, where you can just touch the ground and back off safely and show that you could have touched the player, but you can make a safer play and they call him out anyway.

It'll need to be a force. There are some instances where people slide in aggressively and take out the second baseman to prevent him from pulling the double play, getting the ball over to first. And that is usually what starts the big fight at second that or the second baseman applying an aggressive tag to but that's not a penalty to slide into a base or something like you can slide they've changed the rule about how far outside the lines and and a lot they've changed a lot of things i know the catcher you used to just barrel that motherfucker over and

give him fucking brain damage you know because if you can knock him unconscious, he'll drop the ball. Yeah. Oh, you're trying to knock him the fuck out. Yeah. Get down there. It's the game.

KO this guy and we win. Here I come. You know, so now he can't block the plate anymore. He can't stand there and play chicken with you. They've changed a lot of the rules. I don't know all of the changes. I appreciate the,

uh, I appreciate the timer on the pitcher now. It makes it a lot quicker. I love that. It made it watchable for me because also in Texas it's really hard to go, well the new stadium works but before it was in the outdoors

and it's Texas heat. I'm just glad the Stroh's fucking lost. I don't... I'm a hypocrite first and foremost it's it's it should be my fucking job title but uh man i hate fucking cheating in uh in sports i hate the astros cheating i hate what they did like there's some cheating i don't mind they're like oh tom brady deflated his footballs i don't fucking care i don fucking care. He's still throwing that piece of shit. Don't tell me that he took a little air out

and now he's the best in the world. If that's all it took somebody, then everybody would be doing it. I bet everybody's balls are light. I don't want to hear about Lance Armstrong because the 30 people behind him were all roided out too. That's true.

It's unfair he got those taken. But when you tell me the Strohs are fucking banging trash cans when some guy hits them with the Morse code after using a telescope to read a fucking sign or something, it's like, that's a little frustrating. You got an organized conspiracy, and it's so open that it's clear that it's like

your whole team is like, rah, rah, rah, cheat, cheat, cheat. I don't think the Astros ever admitted to it, though. Get out of here. You're joking, right? No, it's kind of like a he said, she said kind of thing. Yeah, there's no telling. Did he go on to do it again, the same trainer? With the Astros again? Yeah, I think so.

Damn. I mean, double up. You're already in. The latest thing i've heard is michigan's in trouble i heard that too for sign stealing which i love you know i'm obviously i'm i was born in athens georgia hex so i'm a i am a university of georgia fan and uh we've been number one for a while now and uh and some number two michigan is concern. And to hear that they're getting some recompense for their cheating ways just tickles my pink. Is there evidence of it or is it like a accusation? Some sort of sign stealing conspiracy that somebody's ratted everybody out and it's a big to do and they're going to get the NCAA will come down on them.

And I don't know what they'll do. NCAA has a lot of power and scope so that they'll do things to a university that you wouldn't think that a governing body that handles sports could do to them. Take lots of money away, take scholarships away, that sort of thing. And take wins away retroactively, like

rewrite the history book. What? You can do that? Yeah. To the winner goes the spoils. Yeah, that's actually that? Yeah. To the winner goes the spoils. Yeah, that's actually kind of fun. That's high stakes cheating. They'll take your high... They'll take your... Oh, I can't remember who told the joke. It might be Chappelle.

He was at like the ESPY Awards and dude just had won the Heisman. And he's like, man, that's the Heisman. Nobody can take that away from you. Unless you decapitate a waiter and a white woman. Then they'll snatch it away. They took his Heisman? Nobody can take that away from you. Unless you decapitate a waiter and a white woman. Then they'll snatch it away. They took his Heisman?

The crowd went, whoo. It was a pro OJ crowd. Yeah, nothing he does in the future takes away from him being the best. Is that the best rookie? Running back. Best running back? Best running back. God damn, I don't know anything.

A lot of yards. OJ Simpson. No, no, no. The He the heisman is just the best player i think yeah but the heisman aside like his nfl career like that's what he's known for oh the heisman is like outstanding player as far as my knowledge taylor asked the question what is the heisman for and you said best running back yeah okay i thought it was the best player sorry the fog gets to me you're starting to get lightheaded it was the best player. Sorry, the fog gets to me. You're starting to get lightheaded. It's the fog. You should do ads. Then I want to talk about how much cheating is clearly in the UFC. How it's just a farce

of a sport like they all are. We'll argue more about that. Hex, I know you've got to get out of here. Thank you very much for coming on for our spooktacular episode. Thank you. It's a pleasure, boys. Thank you. I do.

I do really do appreciate the invites. Uh, they come, uh, just out of nowhere. So obviously it's like a, it's like, it's like I,

I, I laugh and I, I smile when I get a Chiz and they're saying, let's, let's, let's run it back. So thank you. Yeah.

Thanks for coming, man. Yeah. All right, boys. Thanks, man. All right.

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Code Jez. 10% off everything over there. And that is it. There we go. What were you going, Bill? Zach linked this disgusting fucking article, which I hope is fake. It says that Amaranth has partnered with a brewery to brew a beer using her vaginal yeast, which I don't think...

That's a stupid question. Yeah. Do all vaginas have yeast? I thought that was like an infection that happened from time to time. Well, you know... Is there like a natural amount of yeast that's okay and normal? The vagina is a mysterious organ woody it's one of god's great mysteries yeah and then they tell all these lies like they

make you think there's a clitoris they make you think the girl's orgasm and yeah it's hard to know what's true and what's not after a while the ultimate prank on men. That's clitoris. Female orgasm and other myths back. By Dr. John Kellogg or whatever the fuck that guy's up to in the early turn of the century. I think that all pussies have some yeast in there. Oh yeah?

They do. Even on their best day, it's in there a little bit. It's kind of like a living organism. It's like an aquarium uh it's kind of like a living aquarium it's like an aquarium you gotta keep your bacteria in balance yes that's exactly you gotta keep the ph just right um you know so you don't get any any any any odor or or it doesn't get too sour sometimes it'll be so acidic that like i'll shave the base of my cock and maybe have like a little razor burn there and then her acidic pussy will like burn my dick it's like oh damn you can shock that thing yeah i see a little chlorine in that

bitch little orange juice pussy jesus christ nothing's getting out of there you know this is gross it says it's gonna be used to make sour ales and porters or i want some sort of ginger beer look like amaranth is the ginger incredibly fucking hot um but but i don't want her pussy yeast beer that's just disgusting i don't want her bath water either i just want to stick my dick in there like i don't know why people got to get so weird about it yeah what i mean just be an adult and and think about fucking her you know like an like an adult don't think oh the next closest thing because I won't be able to fuck her is drinking her vaginal yeast sour ale

which by the way is there a grosser kind of beer than a sour ale dude I don't like beer there's no Bud Light my boys and I would never drink that I'd rather drink a Bud Light any day of the week

than a sour ale. Those are beers where you have it and you're like, why are people pretending to like this? This sucks. The only good beers are the ciders. I don't even think it's really beer, but it passes as beer socially. Yeah, I agree.

I just want a malted... I don't understand the whole point. I just don't get it. We're dosing ourselves and like the whole alcohol thing and the ritual of the various kinds of mixed drinks is so fucking stupid to me. Like, I just really don't get it. I really don't. Like how the good ones are just for girls. Well, no. All right.

Look, we're here to get drunk. So what we're all trying to do is numb our got our brains with with a drug called alcohol and most people want to take this backwards floofy version of like oh maybe i'll drink it but first i'll drink like 800 calories of coconut and pineapple and sugar and grenadine and can you crack an egg in this bitch to make it like give it some volume like no get out of there there should be tabasco in there. Look, I like Bloody Marys, but what are we actually here for? Let's start with two straight shots of vodka. So the Bloody Mary tastes good.

How about that? That's what I'm about. I want to show I want to pregame if I'm going somewhere to drink. First of all, you're very utilitarian drinker. I'm showing up buzzed. I'm getting out of the car after like having a couple. Right. Like I'm going to pregame. Do you know how much alcohol costs?

He doesn't mean what he says, officer. No, I mean it. The cops say, do you see that guy? That's pretty cool. There are open containers in my car right now. Yeah, that guy saved a lot of money by getting drunk at home first. He's a smart shopper. That's all being a smart consumer.

But I just hate the idea that like I don't know like drinking six beers to slowly get drunk and I'm not really sure when it's gonna happen like I want to be drunk right now and the amount is very like the amount is very I don't want to be a little drunk

I want to be impaired that's what we're aiming for so just give me the amount you would never treat a headache that way. Or anything else. You guys help me out. Give me 8 milligrams drip of ibuprofen.

You put a shot of it in a beer and maybe it tastes a little bit like root beer. It reacts when you drop it in. Oh, like an Irish car bomb? Shit. I didn't think it was either of those oh red bull vodka where you drop where you drop the shot and like yeah that's a jaeger bomb and they don't it's not like a whole glass of red bull maybe i am thinking of a jaeger bomb so you're just talking about a beverage in general where you've got one big drink and you drop a small drink in it yes yeah and it, and it reacts, and you taste it quickly, and it vaguely reminds you of something that sucks less,

maybe root beer or licorice or something. And it gets it done, too. I think a Boilermaker is just a shot of Jameson dropped in a Budweiser or something. And then the Jager Bomb is what we used to drink. A Boilermaker is a shot of whiskey in a beer. Is there an egg? I've seen an egg added.

You pour a shot of whiskey into your beer, then chug it. So it actually sounds worse than a regular beer by a lot. Yeah, but you're getting hammered right away. Yeah. Have you ever had an Irish Car Bomb? Is it Jameson? Yeah, it's like Guinness. Guinness.

It's like a pint of Guinness. And then it's a shot of Jameson with what the fuck is the Irish cream in there, too. And like the second you drop the shot into your Guinness, the cream starts like curdling. And so you have to drink it so quickly or within 15 seconds, it's just rancid looking and awful. They are disgusting.

One of my roommates drank Guinness. He liked those thick, black, dark, OT beers. Lower calorie beer than you think, by the way. Jesus Christ. It looked like he was than you think, by the way. Jesus Christ. It looked like he was eating a loaf of bread in there. And I hated that shit.

I had a sip of his, and that's when I decided I would never enjoy Guinness. It's like, it's so dark. I can't see through it. What is this? Guinness isn't good. I don't like any dark beer. No.

Like, all the dark beers are gross. The sour beers are gross. Again, I just want to like i want like a like a injector i want a syringe full of grain alcohol that i can shoot into the back of my throat like if i could vape alcohol i would you know what i mean like i have no interest in this is a beverage it doesn't make anything taste better than it already did it is it only it's always a negative flavor wise. Yeah. Well, you're right.

It never really adds any unless you put it in food. Vodka sauce is great. I don't know how vodka improves that pasta sauce, but vodka sauce is delicious. Well, the alcohol burns. Yeah, all the alcohol burns the same way that like burgundy mushrooms. You can hate red wine with every fiber of your being and then have some burgundy mushrooms next to your steak delicious i don't often cook with alcohol because i don't usually have alcohol in my house to cook with it's like i'm not gonna go buy a bottle of red wine to do this sauce or or whatever i'm surprised i always thought it was people like scavenging trying to

make alcohol into something that didn't suck like i I'm going to put beer on this sausage. It's like, no, it doesn't make it better. Your vodka spaghetti sauce is stupid. All these things are bad. No, just me.

No, I disagree. Like, cause all the alcohol cooks away. So like when, in French cooking, when they add like white wine or red wine or whatever, like you're just getting the good flavor part

that makes the mushrooms better or the pasta. Oh, the good flavor part of wine. You're usually deglazing the pan. Yeah. You're deglazing the pan as well. I really don't like wine either, but I love a lot of dishes if it's made with wine. If you're tasting a bunch of alcohol,

it's because some retard cooking it didn't cook away the alcohol and they didn't let it reduce enough, right? Probably my bias coming through. I just don't. I notice that fancy chefs cook with a lot of alcohol. But I usually don't because I don't like the taste of alcohol. I'll never forget the time me, Woody, and Joe Lozon were at that fondue place.

And I was so excited for that cheese dip. It looked good, Taylor. She melted one fantastic cheese after another in that vessel in that cauldron right before our eyes and we had these fancy baguettes and and all these things to dip in there this this delicious bread that was going to be it was going to sop up that cheese one gouda and fucking cheddar and fucking this cheddar was bread in a cave in mongolia throw it into. And just when my mouth's watering, just when we're getting ready to start

sopping up some of that cheesy goodness fondue time, she upends a whole goddamn liter of beer into the fucking cheese. Well, you clearly ordered beer cheese off the menu. I think we ordered some sort of variety pack, and I didn't know beer

was coming either. All of our faces. Yeah, I don't think anyone because Joe variety pack, and I didn't know beer was coming either. All of our faces. Yeah, I don't think anyone, because Joe doesn't drink. Joe doesn't drink. Yeah. But it cooks away. Like, you're not getting any alcohol. It's just, like, thinning the, because, like, I've done that at fondue places.

The beer cheese is good. It doesn't make the cheese worse. It cooks away 5% alcohol out of a, she put a whole beer in a bucket of cheese. It tasted like beer. It was awful. It sounds like she didn't do a good job. That was part of my issue.

It made it unattractive. When I went to the melting pot a couple years ago, and they put beer in there, it was not a whole beer. It was not even a whole can of beer. You have a different relationship with beer than we do, too. just a yeah but like you don't need to enjoy if i told you taylor i i peed in it but it burns off like you're not getting the urea you're just getting the tasty parts of my urine then you might understand where i'm coming from just getting the ammonia

i mean also like what did they not list the ingredients of the cheese at the restaurant i feel like this is an oversight 12 years ago but i'm just saying i'm still salty about it that bitch i i i guarantee if i guarantee i was for a no tip on that one i i bet i bet i said something about it i think the reason they actually put beer in that cheese is because if you don't, it's not dippable. We left that place and went to a second dinner. Where'd you go the second time?

A steak restaurant. Yeah. We weren't fucking around. We went to two expensive restaurants that night. Did we left one? It was after... Woody was going to beat up the taxi driver. We left one. I would be upset. Woody was going to beat up the taxi driver. I remember that.

Woody, I'm pretty sure I remember you threatening that. You're like, you're going the wrong way. I don't remember that. I might be wrong. I do remember an incident in LA with a limo driver or something, but not the cool kind of limo, the vans they call them.

One of us was very upset with our driver that was taking us to the second restaurant. I remember that. But yeah, fuck that fondue place and their beer cheese. Fuck beer getting poured in or on anything to make it better. Maybe on a bratwurst on a grill or something, but you're just making fancy steam. Putting beer in those chickens, making the fancy steam. I don't understand.

Put a Dr. Pepper in that bitch. Put a Dr. Pepper, the full sugar Dr. Pepper. Tell me a thousand times better. Yeah, Kyle for president. Taylor, you're losing. Put a root beer or a fucking vanilla cream soda

inside of a pig's ass. You want a vanilla cream soda in a chicken? You want a Budweiser? I love vanilla cream soda inside of like a pig's ass. Black cherry. Vanilla cream soda in a chicken. You want a Budweiser? I love vanilla cream. I love vanilla cream soda, but I wouldn't waste it on that. USC just signed a big deal with Bud Light. Bud Light, yeah.

Dana's like not backing that. He's like, all those people are fucking morons for not drinking Bud Light. He's like, he's not, yeah, I know, two sides

of the story he's just like fuck you if you don't like bud light bud lights my my new payday well he's i saw a hundred million dollars he better be full-throated pro bud light for up for nine figures someone pays you nine figures and they're like how do you like the product you can't be love it yeah i don't know it's kind of gay i just thought i was a little brave like you know because he's they're like wanting to boycott the ufc now that some conservatives anyway are like yeah you line up with bud light then you don't line up with me i'm out and dana white's like you're a fucking idiot i doubt it i doubt it impacts their ufchip, but I don't know. I would,

it's weird. Usually I think of these boycotts as a very temporary thing with no lasting effect, but Bud Light's has been persistent. Yeah. Bud Light is destroyed. Like they're, they're facings and every major retailer, Kyle called it like,

like maybe two, three weeks afterward. If that, I think I was like, Oh, it'll blow over and kyle was like no it's a it's like a meme it's a joke like people are going out of their way not to have it at barbecues and things because they don't want to get razzed about it because it's like oh you're drinking the gay beer i'll have a coors light not a bud light because they don't want to pay me nothing and then maybe later on, I'll go home,

lay on my wife for a little while. How about that? How about that? That's Brock Lesnar's post-fight. Really? Is that what he said? That's hilarious. I'm going to go home and have me a Coors Light. That's right, a Coors Light because Bud Light don't want to pay me nothing.

Apparently, they were very upset. Yeah. They should have paid him. So this Bud Light don't want to pay me nothing. Apparently, they were very upset. Yeah. They should have paid him. So like this Bud Light deal, I don't think the fighters are getting any money, at least not directly. Like when they do a Reebok or Venom deal, the fighters get cash. They're wearing it. For wearing it, yeah.

And they're mandated to wear it. But at least, you know, there's a formula and they all get paid. In Bud Light, I think the UFC just keeps just keeps all that yeah it's on the ring i mean you know it's not on them they don't have to drink it the monster is interesting they they monster pay some people pay it doesn't pay others israel out of sonja always throws that fucking can away makes fun of the fact it's empty and throws it away because they don't give him money there's mixed feelings on all the sponsors yeah uh strickland gonna fight israel maybe uh wait no no no do i have it wrong who's he gonna fight cosmonaut cosmonaut no one knows um um so so what was proposed was that the winner of umzat, Chemeyev, and Usman would be the contender. They said that.

Dana said that. But you know how it goes. In the post-fight smoke, he didn't look that great against Usman, and he breaks his wrist. So now we got six, eight months heel time then a six week camp strickland sitting there in the wind doing nothing so i think they're gonna have uh strickland fight duplessy maybe like duplessy actually gets uh his that's how you pronounce that okay duplessy i think if i were trying extra hard if i were if i were greeting him i would probably put a little little english on it or a little french rather uh he's south african though so neither of those really apply but um i think

he's gonna get the shot i haven't seen that confirmed but he just seems like the guy who should be he's the contender he's healthy because he's he had a foot thing that prevented him from being the one shot strickland stepped in because Duplessis wouldn't fight Adesanya on that short notice turnaround, injured foot after all the N-bombs in the cage. Adesanya jumping in the cage after Duplessis beat Sean, not Sean Strickland, but the big

Aussie fucker who was the gatekeeper forever. Anyway, Duplessis beat that guy and then Adesanya steps in. Oh, you an N-bomb? Whitaker. Yeah, Duplessis smoked Whitaker, which nobody Adesanya steps in. Oh, you an inbomb? Whitaker, yeah. Duplessis smoked Whitaker, which nobody thought was going to happen. And it's clear that, like, dude, you just walk through Whitaker. You go to the belt.

But he didn't want to take the fight on that short notice with the hurt foot. So Strickland steps in, takes out Adesanya somehow. And so now it only seems fair that Du Plessis fights for the belt, uh, with Chemaev injured. And Chemaev is just, again, like,

like his translated post fight is like, basically if the Chechen president, Kadyrov, who, who, you know, you know, he's the terrorist guy allows me to,

then I'll go to Palestine with a rifle and kill for my Muslim brothers it's no big deal to come in here and fight in shorts you know that's not what's in my heart I'm a killer I'm paraphrasing a bit but basically that he said that if the president of Chechnya will allow him to, that he won't be fighting for the belt next. He'll be heading to Palestine to fight.

To be honest, in a WWE, WWF way, I fucking love it. Yes, yes. This is the modern Iron Sheik. He's like the bad guy, I guess, or the good guy, depending on what side you're on. But the Iron Sheik wasn't... He had a script. Yeah. The UFC has scripts, too.

Chael Sutter had a script every post-fight. He wasn't kidnapping American students on the weekends, though, and being an actual Iranian terrorist or anything. He was just being like, Iran is the best country in the world! That's Russian for some reason, but that's kind of what he sounds like. I hear you.

This is a guy I want on my TV. Good God. Well, he's not going anywhere because he stood up well against Usman. I feel like he underperformed. I would give his performance a B because he should have smoked Usman.

Usman coming in short notice. The old man Usman with the bad knees didn't look right against Adesanya the last time he was out. Not Adesanya, but the guy down at 170, the British black guy who's the champ right now. Leon Edwards. Leon Edwards, thank you. Yeah, he didn't look great against Leon his last time out.

It looks like Usman of old. But he came out with plenty of gas, and he got Tumayev off his back. If it was a wrestling match, there's no point. He got up. There's no pin. It was a really good sequence and showed that he could wrestle with them, that the guy wasn't going to be overpowered the way so many other opponents had been. And then as the rounds went on,

Usman was gaining and winning more and more. I, if they go five, I I'd want my money on Usman. If the fight was continuing and I could bet at the end of the third, I put my money on Usman to like close it out. Like with two more strong rounds, maybe finish him.

Cause he didn't look like he had the gas tank for it. He looked like a wrestling Conor McGregor. Who's just mauling you in the first and second. But third round, fourth round, fifth round, is he going to be there? And Usman's fought nothing but 25 round fights for like a decade, right? So there's no questioning his gas tank. Did I say more? 25 round fights.

Oh, 25 minute fights is what I meant to say. Okay, that makes sense. Anyway, Sean Strickland is is my favorite thing going on right now because just team kyle which is like the athletes that i feel like are my guys yeah having a rough time of it you know across all sports and genres and really everywhere john jones tore his peck off the bone uh oh i was gonna ask it is that what i knew he tore his pec i didn't know how serious it was i didn't see anything eight months it's eight fucking months um of like no usada recovery you know like superman recovery and then then stipe eight months from now like

like jesus he's 41 years old at that point like now we are talking about the geriatric fight as chael sonnen is trying to to make it so now it's about Aspinall and that other contender that's coming up. So I've heard there's a doctor. His name might be Brian Tyler. If not, it's not far from that. And he was suggesting Jones might retire. Well, he was planning to retire after this fight. So, yeah, he might just walk away, but I don't think he will.

I think he needs to come back. fight so yeah he might just walk away but i don't think he will i think he needs to come back man it was set up so well for him to just to smoke steepay and retire as champ champ goat goat like he's just done it all like 28 29 and oh and you know they're gonna overturn that no contest eventually you know dana will get that overturned to a like 100 he's he's been working on the commission every year he's working on them they don't even they call him undefeated in press and in the media at times because he is technically the undefeated heavyweight champion he has not been defeated heavyweight so they will get that overturned he will eventually get that to be like a no contest or something or a win maybe i don't know what they'll do but you know what i mean they might get disqualified for a

silly rule but for breaking a rule i mean it was the writing was on the wall though like like he was whooping that white boy's ass like it was he was on top of him going die die die and the guy's just bleeding and bloody getting bashed in and i don't know why he said die his opponent was deaf it was a waste of air and and don't forget we're signing adam what i really need to happen for me to like get fired up as colby coving to come back and win like twice in a row in quick succession no he's the fucking number one contender he's fighting for the belt next let me tell you he's been fought for like 600 days he doesn't have to because he's uh he's been all i don't think you've been following his social media he's been uploading daily.

He's the number one contender, so he's fighting Lelon Edwards. He's going to come in there with his slick talk, and it's going to be amazing. He had this post fight. He won the fight, and he had this speech where he said something like, You should have learned from your training partner matt hamill it doesn't matter if it's a real train or the trump train stay off the tracks or you'll get crushed or he said something like that and he's referencing that the guy he just beats training partner got hit in the real world by a train was it matt hughes yeah matt hughes like like a few weeks before hit by a train and

crippled is he trying to kill himself on the tracks like how do you get that's some people say yes but that would be my guess the man got hit by a train and is like crippled like don't know if he's gonna live or walk and colby's ripping on him in the post fight like like doesn't matter if it's the Colby train or the Trump train. Get out the way, loser! So who got hit by a train? Matt? Matt Hughes.

But it was a while. It was like 10 years ago, so I'm not sure when this happened. He might have been referring to an old event. It could be 10 years ago. In any case, Colby was making fun of that. I love Colby's trash talk. I saw somebody else was talking about doing a thing with Colby.

Oh, Bryn Schaub was talking about being at Colby's place. He's like, get there. And he's got these two whores. He's got these two girls there that he's paid to be there. And you can tell they are not into it. They don't know who the fuck he is. They don't know who I am. They don't care. And he's like shooting don't know who i am they don't care and

he's like shooting his little instagram videos you know i know what would be good if you came over here and you were like rubbing my shoulders and she's like i'm not fucking touching you he's like no nothing she's like no fuck you he's like okay that's cool we'll just stand there you know and it just made him seem like such a loser which i love you know the whole thing about colby is they didn't like his fighting style they were like hey man you win fights but you're boring nobody gives a shit we're gonna cut you and he came back and he was make america great again yeah it was six years ago i misremembered it yeah and then colby hasn't fought in two years so it would have been you know yeah it was at the time it was the the wounds were raw

i just looked up what he looks like he looks excellent for a guy who was hit by a train i was expecting like like stephen hawking in a little you know not math stephen hawking so like not even a good part of stephen hawking like just in a kind of chair but no he's like up doing doing fist photos with people like fight like i why i oughta like i was a fighter so he's standing he's not crippled i don't know he so i see him and i see a guy who's lost all his muscle mass. I'm used to champion Matt Hughes. I hardly recognize him, but I also can see that he looks healthy. It looks normal.

Pretty good for a train crash survivor. And look at that. He has excellent taste in sports. Go cards. Cause cause look Cardinals hat on. Oh, is that what that is? Yeah.

They were probably good in 2017. I don't know. Yeah. Kyle, what are you talking about? You were like, all my sports teams are bad oh my god the falcons are above 500 oh my god atlanta made it all the way like deep in the playoffs right are you kidding me they made it to the quarterfinal i i don't i don't really want to talk about that but i i it must be rough i mean

if i just want to release i just want to say this and then i don't want to talk about it ever again uga i am not a braves fan i will never watch another braves game i swear to god i swear to god done that's it that was your last fucking chance as an organization is that the second year in a row they got bounced by the it absolutely is for me that's your second and last chance. There's no third strike this time. It's literally baseball. They are the least clutch organization across all professional sports leagues.

They are the least clutch organization of all time you could go back to the san francisco spiders playing fucking gay tennis underwater polo nonsense and you still couldn't find losers this this this this bad if you go back to like 93 or something like that and extend it to modern times they've got two world series and and and they've been out of like 25 postseason appearances or something like that. They are in the postseason every other year on average. At least there was a 15 or 17 year stretch postseason every single time for 15 years. And they won one World Series with four fucking Hall of Fame starting pitchers on the starting roster with Chipper Jones, Andrew Jones, Ryan Klesko, all these fucking Hall of Famers. All of them are not class. Greg Mad maddox that's the pitching staff that's the four fucking guys that are all hall of famers that were in their prime fucking none of it matters i don't care about your regular season

baseball win a fucking championship or you lose me i am fucking done i don't care if they win eight more in a fucking row fuck you i hope the woke crowd takes your indian logo away like they did the fucking commanders from wherever the fuck. I don't even know what they are anymore. Kyle is the worst. Fuck your team. Kyle's rooting for UGA, right? This is in the chat.

And they're winning just not by enough. And Kyle's like, they don't look like a number one team to me. I'm ready. Fuck them. They're not good anymore. I didn't say fuck them. I said I was like, they don't look like a number one team to me. I'm ready. Fuck them. They're not good anymore. I didn't say fuck them. I said I was giving an honest.

What I was doing there is giving an honest appraisal of my team. I do the opposite. I'm like, my team will be 1-0. And I'm like, of course, half the NFL is 1-0. And I'm like, they've got the best record in sports right now. Yeah. I'm watching the game, though. 16-way tie for first. That's how I phrase it.

Week one. Thus far, no one has been able to hang with my team. Yeah. I mean, UGA is spoiling you a bit. And I get that Georgia has had a lot of tough years getting bullied by Alabama or Florida or whatever. It never lined up for them correctly. Yeah, but in Florida this weekend, fuck them too.

No, the problem was they were playing Vanderbilt, a team that I'm a little fuzzy on the math, but I think we beat them 70-0 and then 50 or 60-0 like the last two years in a row. Of course, we won the national title the last two years in a row. Then this year, the game started with Vandy running it down the field and scoring on us. And then us having like two, maybe three turnovers,

but there definitely could have been three or four. They played bad football. But when you win on your bad days, that's good news. It's a team that we pay like $3 million for the privilege to whoop their ass. No, you don't pay Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt's in the SEC. Are you sure? Impossible.

I mean, I know they're in the SEC. They're like the team that gets shit on in the SEC. You pay like Georgia Middle or Middle Georgia State or something to like... You're not thinking of Mizzou. No, Mizzou is SEC. They don't have to pay us. We'll come there and

get beaten for free. Did you guys play yet? Was it last weekend? No, that's not this Saturday. Next Saturday, Georgia and Mizzou come on. The more I like, I'm enjoying college football a lot this year because Mizzou's actually good. Yeah, because my team's good.

I went to this school, so I'm like, yeah, I've got a part of it. And then I'll watch and i'm like goddamn like mizzou is making the kinds of catches and plays and shit that like really good teams do like our quarterback throws it and it goes like 40 yards and it's like a diving catch because we have the best receiver in college football right now and it's like oh my god like we're that never would have been a completion back in you know when i was in school i'm pretty worried about the game you guys are uh you've only lost one uh yeah and it was to lsu a good team we've got some injuries um so so that uh brock bowers guy had a high ankle sprain and i think he had a surgery on it that's got like a but but i think he's

gonna play anyway like i don't know i'm sure it's some super fancy surgery when you're operating on one of your best players in the number one team and sometimes a knee brace can be as good as a tendon like acl the knee brace is really good for some sports so yeah i'm i am worried they didn't look like the number one team i still don't think they are uh it's it's worrying they're definitely not as good as they were the last two years they don't have the same roster they don't have as many nfl game uh guys like first like yeah like i said if you like the eagles then you like the bulldogs they're like they're not smashing teams the way they did last year like they beat vanderbilt by the same spread that Mizzou did. Yeah.

So I hope we don't lose. I hope we don't end up having to play Alabama and then lose. I was going to argue and say, hey, if they're not the number one team, someone else has to actually be better. And then I looked at Michigan's record. Well, actually, they haven't faced a single-ranked team, but they are whooping them. They're destroying.

The same day that Georgia failed to blow Vanderbilt out, Michigan stomped somebody's asshole in, like 70 to nothing. Woody's right, though. They haven't played any ranked teams. Yeah, right? So, like, a lot of teams could look good if they only played unranked teams. We played Florida this week. I'm worried every game.

We'll see which version of UGA comes out because there's been different versions at the beginning of these games. They've been starting slow a lot early. They were great against Kentucky. Kentucky was wonderful. I hope they blow out Florida because if there's been a year in the past decade that Mizzou can steal one from Georgia,

this is the year. It is. It is. I don't know what the line is on that game, but I would just guess that we're probably only favored by 14, maybe 17, something like that. So it's, you know yeah you're just a turnover away

from losing the fucking game it's exciting i'm gonna watch that game and probably be like a little glum when it's like oh halftime 37 to 6 oh please oh i would love that that would make my day that would make my day. We can watch it and stream live our reactions. That would be fun to be mean. Dude, I'll hop on here and watch it with you. That'd be fun. I'm inviting myself into a frustrating

situation because George is very, very, very weird. I wasn't too far off. See, man, we're not going to do that do that though you guys it's not gonna be i don't think so either bazoo's pretty good like i i sports gambling is illegal in georgia but i would be like oh well that seems like an easy bet like it's gonna be closer than 18 and a half for sure yeah for sure hope so where is it in georgia in georgia so that's not ideal but

what are you right like it's funny that at least with college football kyle will be like ah they beat fucking vanderbilt by three touchdowns looking like dog shit and i are like we're in the there's a number next to our name right sure it's 20 i know i'm not ranked but like we would be 28th if you count the other team receiving votes maybe that'll help with recruiting this year oh yeah that's how i feel looking at it i'm like damn mizzou 16 that's a real one they're in there now if you're like state you can get numbers in the 20s and the teens, but you don't typically end the season with them. So you might be doing better.

I don't know. Your team looks good. I hope so. It seems like every time State's ranked 15, that's their peak, and then something bad happens. There was a time when all I really wanted was some respect on SportsCenter for my team because they couldn't get any. Now they're two-time national champions and you don't give them respect.

Kyle gives them no respect. It feels really good to be there in this position where everybody is like, number one, Georgia. You can't keep that fucking thing out of your mouth. It's just like, number one, Georgia. I really enjoy that because they don't

they don't like us for some reason i don't know why you can tell that they hate it they're like ah can we go talk about lsu for 45 fucking minutes straight we all went to lsu here so we love coach fucking suck a dick like this to their own schools and it's like there's no uga alums at sports center so they just don't even want to cover it i never see them do like the game day coverage at georgia why wouldn't they they're i mean they're number one they've been number one for years yeah and it they'd be even a steeper number one if it weren't for those bastard wolverine mich Michigan people stealing signs. Confirmed. We, I love that we, UGA is clapping and chanting to fuck up the other team's audibles. They're like, they're basically mocking them.

So they'll be like, blue 42, huh? And the whole Georgia line is like, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, clap, clap, clap. They're like fucking with them and they keep getting, and if they get caught, it's like a five yard penalty, but they do it under their breath or something. And they'll be like pointing to be like, Hey, Hey, Hey. And the guys, everybody plays dumb. And the ref's like, well, I oughta. When you have a helmet, you can do shit in there.

Don't move. Just be like, hup, hup, hup. Try to get the other guys to jump. This damn pollen on this field. I keep almost sneezing. But you do so much as that, and then they call you. I really hope we win that third national title. That, to me, is a dynasty when you get three. Two

can happen as a fluke, but three just, you did something. Not a fluke. I know, right? Who amongst us doesn't have back-to-back national championships? Well, who does? But who's got three in a fucking row? Does Alabama have three in a row? There's no way. Because they were a dynasty.

I'm not an expert, but I'd be surprised if anybody's got three in a row. USC claims they do, but they don't there was a time before the playoffs where like uh maybe they won the coaches but not the national it was something like that like they declared themselves the other national champ and then they won two more legit and that's oh that's actually that's real close that's close enough for me. I remember that's before the playoff system. That's probably... Is that Pete...

I can picture the coach. He's like a young, handsome guy. His name's probably not Pete Carroll. Probably wrong. I'm not sure. That's pretty fucking close. Yeah. What?

I don't know. I said Pete Best after he finished with the... I don't know who that is. Wasn't he a Beatle? No. Yes, he was. This is why I love trivia. Not only was Pete Best a Beatle, after he got cut from the band,

he made his own little album called The Best of the... Rolling Stone. It was called The Best of the Beatles? Fuck you! What? best of the beatles did he really that's good i like that that makes sense best of the beatles because he's best of the beatles i like that i like that a lot yeah yeah speaking of uh trivia i wrote some some questions oh god bless your soul in the form of the the whiteboard thing and i can't use the whiteboard tonight i was so fucking excited to use the whiteboard and i can't use the whiteboard wait we're doing the whiteboard

thing yes standby can you get the whiteboard thing i don't want to talk about the whole trivia situation but I was annoyed well I could tell you were annoyed and so I'm like you know what I'm going to be good guy Taylor and write a quick like fucking 30 trivia

questions and try to make them fun I did I was like I need to try and make them fun. I did. I was like, I need to try and make it more even with the topics that Kyle knows versus the ones that Woody knows. I put some in there for a series

that you both know. Hopefully, it's actually difficult questions. They seem difficult to me. You got some The Wire stuff? Nope, not that one. You'll know when you get to it. It is a good one. I'll write down The Wire for another one. Yeah, Woody and I both know The Wire fairly well.

I would, you know, obviously I'm incessant with my rewatches. I think you'd win a Wire head-to-head. I would give that to him too. I can't hang with Kyle on old HBO shows. I also. I can't hang with Kyle on old HBO shows. I also learned I can't write anything about paramotors because Woody's going to know it right away.

I'm like, oh, this is clever of me. I feel like this part of my face is really getting left out of the action. But this is the most gory bit. Well, when you get us at the angle you do, you can see it sticking out. Yeah, see that? It's quite the mess. That must have been a terrible driver. Yeah. I mean, aren't they all? You're very injured.

I like the black eye and the sooty forehead. Like you're on the way home. It's like a Korean grandma. You know how when you multiply two negative numbers, you get a positive one? Yeah. Can Asian women drive? No. Nope, unfortunately. They can't even start the car.

And they can explain to you why mathematically. They follow the addition rules. Two Wongs don't make a white. Two Wongs can't make a white. Oh, wow. I have my

board and writing thing on its way alright sweet it was much easier to do the questions this time because I didn't have to do any multiple choice and I only had to do one question per category I realized while writing them I don't have enough ideas for categories

so a couple got reused I like that I also tried to reuse goodens i was gonna say um the the francis and gano tyson fury fight i think is this weekend taylor if you've got any like buddies who are playing and watching that and you want to make some easy money if you can find a schmuck who will bet against tyson fury you want to go ahead and take that easy money i'm i'm doing a ha a Halloween thing with some buddies this Saturday before those fights start,

so maybe I'll try and coax one of them into a coaxing snafu. And Ghan is going to get smoked. Yeah, of course he is. He's not a professional boxer. Yeah. So far, the pro boxers have beaten all the UFC guys, but even harder, the YouTubers. Yeah.

These pros, they're really good at what they do. Turns out. All pros, they're really good at what they do. It turns out. All right, Zach, let's throw it up there. Taylor's Trivia Titans. Yes. My Titans. Like in Spartacus. That's how I picture it,

is I'm the guy on the fucking banister or whatever, and I'm looking down, and you guys are shredded in underwear. Commodore? How do they? Well, I don't know. Yes, it goes here, and then out. You want to make it real steep, though. You want to come up high and steep.

All right. First question, Lord of the Rings. Which Ent led the forces of Fangorn Forest, along with Merry and Pippin, into Isengard, the home of Staruman? Of course, you remember in The Return, I'm sorry, The Two Towers, Merry and Pippin riding on his shoulders, getting marched in. All right. I couldn't hear that, Woody. I don't know the answer but i wrote something down we'll see i bet kyle knows this i go behind early i thought kyle might know it and i thought woody might know it because of the rewatch recently because he's really the only named named Ent in the series. All right. Throw it up, your whiteboard. Oh, my camera's... Hang on, let me fix that.

Wow. Woody and Kyle, both correct. Tree beard. And Kyle with the extra, voiced by Jonathan Rees-Davies, a.k.a. Gimlet. Now that, I'm going to put a I'm going to write this down. Potential future

half point for Kyle if that happens. I'm going to add useless shit next to answer. 100%. Do that. No big deal. I just know the actor and the other character he plays. Mine's going to be less related. Here is my favorite

food. All right. Now to the to the next one zach thank you very much in season this is seinfeld in season four episode the old man elaine's elderly partner claimed to have slept with a famous geopolitical figure who was it that elaine's elderly partner claimed to have slept with? The classic episode, The Old Man, brought us a lot of laughs. The old man yelling at George, saying, you're wasting my life. Elaine's elderly partner was a man.

Was a woman. Yeah, she was she had a woman and was like supposed to be like a buddy to her in her old age in this kind of social program. And that old woman had a tale that she had slept with a very famous political figure, geopolitical figure.

And who was it? I'm shocked if Kyle hasn't got this one down pat. I'm sorry. I don't think I do, Taylor. I don't think I do. I remember that episode very well, but I'm struggling. I'm trying to reverse my camera. Also failing at that.

It's okay. I can read it. Fair. Thank you. Are you ready, Kyle? Oh, yes. Yes. Oh, Ronald Reagan for Woody and Nelson Mandela for Kyle. Incorrect. It is Gandhi. Gandhi. Mohandas.

You should rub his bald head in oil and rub it all over my body. Of course it is. That's embarrassing. I can't believe you missed that one. I thought that was a lie. I can't believe I didn't write Gandhi. I should have kept thinking. I was annoyed by my camera. I'm taking a mulligan on that one.

Alright, I'll jot that down. So he'll write Gandhi next time. Yeah, next time. All right, next one. Who won the first ever UFC event? The first ever UFC event. Who was the victor there? This is one when I was reading it, I never would have guessed.

Because I don't know ufc fighters oh that's a cool logo the ultimate fighting championship one he kind of looks like a like a jacked captain planet i just need his last name right uh if uh sure no no first name in there too no because there's like four guys with that last name there's four there's thousands of guys with that last name first name too first name too you got it you got to shoot in the shoot for the first name okay yeah i can't be i don't know that yeah no just get just i just watched a documentary about it and i still don't know they explained why they sent the smaller one and not the good one and there's a theory that either they sent him to really flex or it was a punishment to the the good one because he'd gone off and done like trained some other people or done something business are you ready yes yeah gracie i don't know which one don't his name is Hoist Gracie.

Starts with an R, but pronounced with an H for an extra half point. That's the full point for Woody. No point for Kyle because even I know that there's like a drowsy and sleepy and eating. Point deduction for insolence.

I'll be the judge of all of this. And if you think I'm just going to compulsively make up numbers at the end. I just don't want you to be disrespected by another contestant of mine. Yes. Don't forget there is a lifeline where you can call my phone.

You've been attacking the Trivia Master since the start. If there was a word spelled R-O-Y-C-E pronounced hoist, I'd want to know. Yeah, the high trivia master. I think of myself as a bit of a grand wizard

of trivia. You look like one in that outfit. Yeah. All right, next question. What is the only U.S. state to border just one other state? There's only one of them.

There's some easy throwaway ones. The ones at the bottom of the map there. So I'll give that to you. Hawaii does not border any states. It is an island. And Alaska is close to Russia and Canada.

And those are not part of the United States. Just one state. Just one state. Just one, Kyle. Fuck! You can't think? Well, I've got it narrowed down to... I wonder if Kyle... Does Kyle have the same guess as me? I mean, we're going to find out.

I'll never know. Is it Maine? Oh, I also wrote maine i don't mean that's correct both of you a point for maine that's excellent good for you guys geography whizzes i was just second guessing myself because i i know vermont is up there and vermont is shaped like a v but i don't i can't picture that shit it's all a mission yeah i was afraid new york squeezed in there but i don't have a better idea which state it could be yeah i found found that trivia online i was like that's a good ass trivia question it's not that hard so all right next up

all right who is the only u.. president to never win a general election? Only one has ever gotten in office without having won an election at all. And who'd that be? I feel like Kyle's going to know this better than me. And this is the kind of thing I'd find interesting. You can definitely just use the last name if that simplifies it for you, Kyle. The only U.S. president to never win. I'm real high, so

don't confuse me. I've got to stay in my lane here. Do you know it, Kyle? I think you might. I have a guess. The kind of thing I think Kyle might know. What's your guess? Fire off, fire from the hip. Dwight Eisenhower. No.

Woody? Millard Fillmore? Oh, no. You're taking up way too much of the space available there on the board. I can't right now. I'm horrible at it. It is Gerald Ford. Gerald Ford never won a general election.

Okay. He's got won a general election. Okay. He just got zooted into office. So, all right, that stays. Three to two, it's anyone's game. Next question, Zach. And this is going to take some listing. What are the top 10 by retail sales, retailers in the United States? List as many as possible.

You can't use more than 10 guesses. E-commerce is included. What are the top? This is 2022. The top 10 retail sales retailers in the United States. You can't just list like 15 things. If you don't get 10, that's all right. And if you can't think of 10, that's okay.

Thanks. I'm not going to think of 10. I hate this question. I've got to write. I've got to come up with one. Is it one point for whoever gets more? Yeah, yeah. One point for whoever gets more.

The top 10 retailers in the united states 2022 e-commerce included this is just think kyle like retail i have no idea. You have like two things. I don't know. I don't know where things come from. I get my place. Things from one place. Right. I only need one place.

Well, then write that down and then add some more, Kyle. You know, I can see Woody writing. He knows. I really feel like he's going to get 10. I'm not going to get all 10. Why would I know like the 10? Yeah, I don't think you're going to get all 10. You might get something that's outside of the top 10.

But yeah, retailers, where are places you go to buy things? And which ones of them have lots of sales? I thought this one was not too hard to get some of them. This is up your alley, though. That's true. I thought everyone here named which paramotor wasn't a company. I'm never going to have it.

You caught it. You're down on yourself. You're going to see the list and you're going to be like, oh, I could have just thought when I drive down the road road what fucking retailers do i see is mcdonald's a retailer like like you need to define what these things are including e-commerce yes so like when you go to a brick and mortar retail store

and you buy things off of the shelf, where do you go? Which ones have the highest retail sales? E-commerce included, of course. If it's bought through an e-commerce retail distributor, that would be counted. I'm just going to forfeit because

I don't know. I have three things. I think you're on your list so far. Three. I have nine. I'm probably going to beat you't know. I have three things. How many are on your list so far? Three. I have nine. I'm probably going to beat you. Yeah. He's going to win.

All right. Let's see. Let's see the answers here. I have Amazon, Walmart, Target, Dollar General, Etsy, Walgreens, CVS, and Home Depot, and Lowe's. All right. I think- First three, yeah. Yeah.

Kyle definitely loses I think Amazon Walmart, Target Walgreens, CVS and Home Depot either Home Depot or Lowe's one of them's like 10 one of them's number 11 so Woody runs away with that one I'm writing down there if push comes to shove extra half point for Woody down the road because he just absolutely slaughtered you and I did

not like your stick-to-itiveness there Kyle I wish you would have we have a sassy wow. We have a sassy trivia master. It was a bad question. It gave us a lot of busy work. I just want to call out that my competitor is kind of disrespecting the trivia master. That's a half point. He's right.

He deserves it. He's just not a good sub. Alright. In the TV series, The Boys, what is Black Noir allergic to? Black Noir allergic to something in The Boys. I'll write it bigger.

Seemingly a... I saw online this apparently was not... Fans of the show did not think this was a very difficult one. Yeah, I may have it wrong though. You ready, Woody? Was it Peanuts? that's what i have peanuts yes it's nuts is the answer you both get a point you know i was i thought it was gonna be like

cashews or like pistachios i just remember he was eating like nuts out of a little bag and it was when he was kicking somebody's ass mave snuck up behind him and gave him a snickers i think because he's allergic to nuts uh oh that that sucks. He's got to be a Milky Way man. Still a good candy. I know Kyle disagrees. I don't remember that part. All right. A little mythology. To the Greeks, Hades was the god of the underworld.

What is his Roman name? As you know, the Greeks and the Romans had a lot of shared gods. Zeus, the king of all gods to the Greeks, was called Jupiter to the Romans. I have no idea. I'm just guessing. Jupiter.

A lot of, interesting enough, a lot of our planets are named after the Roman version of the Greek gods. Oh, wait. You know, there's Poseidon, the Greek god of the sea. And then what's the other one? There's Neptune. Yeah. Poseidon, the Greek god of the sea. And then what's the other one?

There's Neptune. Yeah. So the Hades, Greek god of the underworld. What's the Roman name? Is it a planet name? I don't know. I could. I hammered that hard. Right there.

Kind of like, I believe. I'm ready. All right. What do we got? Kyle, have you written something down yet? I'm ready. All right. What do we got? Kyle, have you written something down yet? I have not. All right. Well, I'm not going to say if that's correct.

Kyle writes something down. Well, fuck, Zach. Think of God of War. I didn't play that game. I didn't either. I'm trying to think of something you would know. Uranus? Uranus? No. No, that's. I didn't either. I'm trying to think of something you would know. Uranus? No.

No, that's incorrect. It is Pluto. Pluto is the Roman god of the underworld. One of our planets. It will always be a planet to me. Taylor's like, yeah, a lot of Roman gods were named after planets. I'm like, could that be a clue? Could that be a clue?

A master of subtlety over here. I think the planet was named after the god, though. I don't even know if I'm holding it right. I'm not sure. This is the fruit category. Fruit. There is only one fruit with seeds on the outside. What is it?

All the other fruits got their seeds on the inside. The tomato, a fruit. Interesting enough. Not interesting. You ready, Kyle? Yeah. Me too. What do we got here?

Strawberry. That's what I also got. Strawberry, correct. The only fruit with seeds on the outside. Kyle crawling his way back in. Wait, I got it too. I know. I'm just trying to make it exciting.

I'm stiff-arming that baby over there with my Waldo arms see right now Woody is ranked one in the country alright next question Zach it's only because of the crooked coaches poll alright list these historic figures by date of death earliest to latest Attila the Hun

Genghis Khan Leif Erikson. The picture, of course, is SpongeBob celebrating Leif Erikson Day. Classic, classic episode. Happy Leif Erikson Day. This is what Patrick says to him. Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, Leif Erikson. I got blood on my marker board. Oh, dear. Earliest to latest by date of death. Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, Leif Erikson I got blood on my marker board Oh dear

Earliest to latest by date of death Could also be date of birth It's not like these guys were that close I'm gonna say this And then That And then Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan

Leif Erikson Alright, show them I said Khan, Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, and Erickson. Alright, show them. I said Khan, Attila, and then Leif. I said the order he wrote them, because that's been the answer every other time. Ooh, you're both wrong. It is Attila the Hun

died in 453 AD, right around the fall of the Roman Empire. Leif Erickson, 1020 AD, Genghis Khan, 1227 AD. This is your fault. Your question listed them out of order, and you've never done that before. I'm throwing fucking curveballs. Like a left-handed wiffle ball pitcher.

All right, all right, bring it. What you got? All right, this is the fish category. Lightly salted fermented Baltic sea herring is a traditional Swedish cuisine known for its pungent odor. What is it called? What is it called? It's been used in

shows like Fear Factor, a lot of challenge shows, because it can clear a room with how disgusting it smells. I don't even think the Swedes like it. I think it's something that they pretend to like. Are you ready, Woody? Yeah, I think I have it wrong. So let me go first, if I may, because I don't even think the Swedes like it. I think it's something that they pretend to like. Are you ready, Woody? All right.

Yeah, I think I have it wrong. So let me go first, if I may, because I don't know. I'll allow that. I spelled something that sounds like lutefisk. That's a good guess. That's a really good guess. Lutefisk. Guess not, though.

I have my real answer, which I think is wrong. And then a second one, just in case. It's not anchovies, is it? No. Is it lox? No, it's surstroming. Surstroming. We were both so close.

You were both so close. I've never heard of that. Yeah, it's just something they eat on. Ludicrous is actually the common dialect. The number of countries in Europe. This is above or below, over or under. Are there more or less countries in Europe than 40? More or less?

You got a 50-50 shot. I'm done. You sure? No. Not in the slide. Don't change the answer because I said it. I changed it. I changed it.

All right. I got the blue wire. All right. There we go. What's the answer? I said less. Ooh, I also went with under. It's more.

There's 44. Wait, wait. Woody with a point. Woody with a point that I got. with under. It's more. There's 44. Wait, wait. Woody with a boy. Woody with a boy that I got. Last second. I think that might be a... He flipped his board. There's no say.

I don't know. Some people are saying that, but people lie. How many countries are in Europe? We don't have any idea. Next time, ass heads or tails. Fucking flip it. any idea. Next time, ask heads or tails. Fuck it.

I thought it wasn't going to be easy. Not easy, because I wouldn't have known exactly how many. We're going to have those personalized questions real quick. Yeah, right? Alright. This South Pacific Island nation is also a

brand of beverage. This South Pacific Island nation is also a beverage of beverage. The South Pacific Island nation is also a beverage brand. Yep. Yep. Fiji. Fiji. There you go.

See, I add ones in after ones that I assume will frustrate you. Is that an appeasement question? What's the first letter in Fiji? Yeah, a little appeasement question get that get a sniff in you know there's sniffing on that i'm dripping bloody i thought you were going with your sharpie no it doesn't get anything give me anything it's not working seven to five anyone's game let's see the next question this is the rank one and rank two players in the country

all right in the season two episode of Always Sunny, $100 Baby, what is Charlie's fighter name? Charlie's fighter name, Mac, or Dennis, originally, was going to sign Mac up as a fighter,

or sign Charlie up as a fighter in an underground league, and they had to come up with a fighter name for Charlie. I don't know. I don't watch season two what no that's crazy it's a great season all right you don't have any guests you can't think that no all right show it crazy horse crazy horse No. Not too far away. Kyle didn't give a guess. Clown Baby. Clown Baby. The name of his... Taylor wouldn't have gotten that out of multiple choice. I'm like, did he do a subtle hint again?

No. I thought you were going to get that one. See, you don't watch season two. That's insane. No. This actor, featured in Gremlins 2, also plays Count Dracula in the 1958 film Dracula. Who is it?

Big time actor. Kyle questions. If the next question isn't what's Woody's brother's middle name. Hang on, leave it up. This isn't fair. Leave it up, leave it up. I gotta read that over and over.

This actor, featured in gremlins 2 also plays count dracula in the 1958 film dracula who is it played dracula in one of the famous dracula makes remakes i guess it would be a remake because the originally dracula was like in the 20s or something. Yeah. Who played Dracula? I would be surprised if no one gets this. Yeah, I'm not going to get it. Kyle doesn't know this? I thought this was the sort of thing he'd know.

No, I don't like the black and white Dracula movies. I don't watch any of that stuff. Okay. Let's go. Boris Carlyle? Carlyle? Did you make that up? Is that your name?

Boris Carlyle? No, it's Christopher Lee. Oh, okay. Well, maybe one of his... No, he was the skinny white dude. Well, any other thing Christopher Lee had ever done would have been helpful. That's why I picked Gremlins 2, because I thought it would be too easy to go. Because the old trivia about Christopher Lee is like, do you know he played Draco in the 50s?

That's how long he's been acting. But I don't know. First of all, I've seen Gremlins 2. Gremlins 2? It was a red herring. It was me. It meant to throw you off. Where was he featured?

Like, that's a movie full of like. I don't know. I looked up what other movies was he in, and I looked through his IMDb. I'm like, Gremlins 2. That's funny to add in as though it's helpful. No one will ever get that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I looked up what other movies was he in and I looked through his IMDb and I'm like, Gremlin 2, that's funny to add in as though it's helpful. No one will ever get that. Yeah, yeah. No, everybody in the comments is agreeing.

All right. Who preceded Vladimir Putin as president of Russia? Little hint here. The office began with this guy. There's only been two presidents of Russia. So who was president of Russia before Putin? Fuck, I know this normally. I've talked about him before.

You have. You've both talked about him before. Yeah. We've had conversations about this guy. Yeah, he was on TV the other day, like, talking. I think I thought when i wrote this i'm like this is more of a woody one i think he'll get it i don't think i have it right and if i do i'm not sure it's close enough all right you go ahead sorry i would get a multiple choice for sure

all right show them i don't know yeah. I put Boris Yeltsin. Boris Yeltsin? That is correct. Boris Yeltsin, the first president of Russia. But Putin was president, and then he relinquished it, and then that other guy took over, and then he took it back again. We're not counting that. That wasn't the right answer?

Boris Yeltsin was the president before Putin. Okay. So there are two people who were president before Putin, technically, then. Were there? I don't fucking think so, man. Only one could be right. Oh, because he went twice. Yeah.

Did the same guy proceed in both times? I'm not sure. No. That's the name I was searching for. If I had known Boris Yeltsin was the president of Russia from 1991 to 1999. Well, I knew Boris Yeltsin. I was looking for the guy. Before that, it was USSR.

You know what? This is unorthodox, Kyle. I'm going to give you a point anyway. I don't want a point. I want questions that make sense. I'm kidding. Don't give him the point. Don't give him the point.

Again, whose line is anyway up in this bitch. Yeah. Half point because he did know it kind of. All right. The high. I just know that the question is bad. The question is not bad. There are two different answers.

And you're like, what's the other? No, no, no. Because the other one wasn't a president of Russia. He was a USSR czar or whatever. Yes. The first president of Russia. He was a USSR czar or whatever. Yes, the first president of Russia. Okay, so Boris Yeltsin was before Putin,

and then Putin retired, and another guy took over for him for like years. And then Putin took over again. So I thought the correct answer should be that guy who was the president during that interim because he's the most recent person who was president before Putin. Alright, if you give me his name you get the point yeah i

told you i don't remember his name but i wish that i'd known that boris yeltsin was a possibility because he's like you know oh my gosh yeah it was dimitri medvedev is who you're talking about but he was a first deputy prime minister of russia not president medev. The name of this candy. All right. These disgusting, subjective, coffee, chalky candy discs were available in flavors including lemon, lime, clove, cinnamon, and wintergreen. Something thought of now as an old lady candy, kind of. Very gross. Is that a picture of them? No. No, that's...

If you saw a picture of it, you would immediately know. Has an iconic chalky candy disc look. And I included the flavors like clove and cinnamon and wintergreen. So, you know, this is not a modern tasty candy. It's the kind of candy that would be bullied, not as much as good and plenty,'s, but it would be bullied by the other candies were they to be anthropomorphized. I don't know it. Kyle, do you? No idea. Did you write anything? No.

I could write... Lifesavers? Lifesavers, no. Necco Wafers. Necco Wafers. I remember having those as a kid and being like, this is fucking dog shit. This is the worst candy in the world. I hate these.

All right. Next question. Kyle's getting a little aggravated. All right. What are the first five books of the old Testament? Whoever gets the most right. I don't, I refuse again.

I won't take part in these. Whoever gets the most right nonsense that gives me a bunch of busy work. It's five words, you fucking idiot. It's so much laziness on your part. Why wouldn't there be multiple choice or something so we can be like... I can't do multiple choice. Name five books. Just name one of the five books.

Just one of the fucking first books in the Old Testament. Alright, I have my five. Alright. These are gonna be all bad. It's Moses and the Sorcerer's Stone. Moses and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Like, you should know this, Kyle.

You know of the Lord. I don't know why I would know this. You're from the South? I don't know shit about this. She's so aggravated. Kyle being hateful is great. These are good-ass questions. I wonder what his answers are. Okay.

We ready? Yes. Genesis, Judges, Psalms, Romans, Joshua. Genesis. You got it. There's one. What do you got, Woody? Yep. I put the the book of Luke The book of Mark, the book of Matthew The book of John and Inviticus

In a stunning Turn of events Woody does not get Genesis, Kyle gets a point For one out of five You guys Are going to hell Because it's not real I haven't even been baptized

take that half point away I hate it I deduct half a point from Kyle for his fucking attitude about these questions there's a reason you don't have any points give it to me Chiz was too lazy to make this game properly well and so I

two hours before the show I know I'm mad at him and I'm misplacing it onto you! I'm sorry! Well, thank you! I love you and appreciate that you did this with such little time! That means a lot to me! Alright, next question.

This one's not about the Bible, so it should help. Thoros is a red priest. Game of Thrones question. Thoros is a red priest from Game of Thrones question. Thoros is a red priest. From what city is Thoros from? What city? They call him... Game of Thrones question.

Yes. Game of Thrones question. They even refer to him throughout the show and the books as Thoros of somewhere. Yeah, I don't know. The city and his name and his title. What? That's surprising. Not it. Thoros of... I mean, I don't know. Include the city in his name and his title. What? That's surprising.

Not it. Thoros of... I mean, I cut the cord on that after the thing. It was still good when he was bouncing around, when he was in the show. Maybe it was a picture of the actor. I would have some inkling. He is the guy.

He's going around in the red cloak, obviously, the whole time. It's a real dark show. I couldn't tell. I don't remember anybody in a red cloak. Alright. Thor of Genesis to get a half point from the previous question. He misspelled Genesis, deduct a half point.

I play the code words, so now I can get it from the previous question. That's true. Yeah, it's the fucking dumbest trivia thing ever. They can just come back and get it in the next turn. No, add that. No, add that. Woody has eight points.

This isn't a fucking joke. Wait, why did he take a point? He's willy-nilly with these points. He's capricious with these half points. Kyle, do you have a city name? Any guesses? Nah, no. Doros of...

Of Myr? uh any guesses no um of of of of of of of mere that's a point for kyle let's go let's go up really oh that's big thoros of mere wow that's good that's what they call them that's what they call them throughout the show the red priest thoros Myr. Next question, all knotted up at eight. Damn. All right, I had to look this up. What is the name of the dwarf who created Stormbreaker in Avengers Infinity War? I believe, and I'm going by context clues here because I haven't seen the film, is... No, I did see this one, actually. It's Peter Dinklage, right?

It is, yeah. Yes, Peter Dinklage plays this dwarf. He's a i don't know hefestus or something he's a giant dwarf or something confusing stormbreaker is thor's hammer right so it was uh the new one that he made for him yeah what is his name what's that dwarf's name i don't know i really i also don't know let's move on. Okay, move on from this one. His name is Eitri. E-I-T-R-I. Nope, doesn't ring a bell. Eitri. What is my current

favorite candle scent? Yes, this is Tay's Faves. And what is my current favorite candle scent? What it really is is you guys are competing to write down what candle scent you think I enjoy most, and between the two of you, I will pick which one is superior.

How well do you know your buddy Taylor? What kinds of scents does he enjoy? What kinds of scents does he abhor? Kyle writing feverishly. Erasing. Second guessing. I think Kyle's going to win. I know that we have different tastes in candles.

We do. We've talked about candles, though. And it's all tied up. And this is what some would call the most absurd, subjective question. So I've designed a candle for you, Taylor, that features sandalwood, leather, and vanilla. Ooh. That's so unfair. Woody, which one of...

I put sandalwood, too. Sandalwood. I have to give you both a point because sandalwood is one of my favorite scents. Both of you get a point for sandalwood. Oh! It's big. I like that.

Kyle! Want to do a little sequence? Name the three stooges. Woody's like, Mo, point for Woody. I could have detracted from you if I was going to be honest because I... Leather's a great addition.

I was tasked to blend. But vanilla is not a good addition. I don't like vanilla. And so it equaled out back to just sandalwood. In ancient Rome, what was a vomitorium? What was a vomitorium in ancient Rome? I'm ready. It is an oft-questioned aspect of history, the vomitorium.

Kyle's ready. Woody musing. I think I have this wrong, but I'll try. I just wrote the N-word over and over. Ooh, ooh, 10 points for Kyle Bravery. All right, Kyle says an exit. And what does Woody say? All right, Kyle says an exit.

And what does Woody say? I feel like Kyle knew it. A room where you vomit and rally to eat more. No, you're correct. It is a vomitorium is what they referred to as the large exits from amphitheaters because it looked like it was vomiting people back onto the street. Huge, huge exits from amphitheaters because it looked like it was vomiting people back onto the street huge huge exits from amphitheaters and coliseum so kyle had an opportunity to write exit because taylor gave me the answer while i was still writing mine and i didn't take it that's true we would have seen you doing a lot of this though just shaking it up man kyle turning this franchise

around all right california produces 98 of the u.s domestic product of what food what food does california make shit loads of boxes barrels bags bins crates of this food huge amounts and california is one of the only places in the U.S. that it's getting grown. 98%. That's not right. My answer's not right. Fuck. Mine's probably wrong, too. I wouldn't worry. Do you have another thought, Kyle?

Well. Or do you not want to second-guess yourself? Produce. Produce. Southern California. It's not the wines. It's all of California. And it's produce. Is it it's all of california and it's produce is it produce did taylor say no no hang on it's just it's food not not necessarily it could be produced but it's not necessarily produced it's just domestic product of what food i just saw oh i saw a little little sparkle in Kyle's

I'm ready I guess I don't think I'm right what's your answer well I was going to say lettuce because I know they make a tremendous amount I was going to say lettuce but then he said they make 98% of it so I changed it to the devil's lettuce meaning marijuana incorrect that's not right what do you got Woody

I'm probably wrong I just happen to know this factoid about water being incredibly misused somewhere over there to make almonds. Almonds. No, that's close. It's pistachios. They're making all the pistachios over there, and it is a bad misattribution of water, apparently. But who cares? Pistachios rule.

Excellent. All right. Next question. of water apparently but who cares pistachios rule all right next question this military drama featuring guy pierce won the oscar for best picture in 2010 not necessarily starring guy pierce but guy pierce was in it i couldn't say who it was starring or it would give it away Best picture in 2010 Military drama Best picture I don't 13 years ago

I believe in both of you Why would you believe in me on a movie thing Against Kyle You actually don't you're just lying You're saying that to be nice would you believe in me on a movie thing against kyle uh you actually don't you're just lying you're saying that to be nice but you believe it's not that it's not that it's it's not the one i'm thinking of either because what i'm thinking of is too old it's a huge movie that year military drama all right if neither of you got it i'll say it was starring oh okay no do you do you want do you want the extra you got it, I'll say it was starring... You ready? Oh, okay. No, I'm not.

Do you want the extra hint? Do you want me to say who it was starring? Sure. What he does. Sure, yeah, I'll say it. It's starring... I think his name's Jeremy Renner, the Hawkeye guy. Yes.

Okay, well, now I know the fucking answer. Thank you. Why don't you tell the class? Thank you. If you know it so well, say it out loud. Don't just write it. Actually, I'm going to write

I have Hurt Locker. Hurt Locker. Hurt Locker. I see nothing wrong with the way you answered. Wow, both of you knew that equally. Madness. Madness. Hurt Locker.

I don't know about that one. Get 101 points. I couldn't come up with that. Alright, next question. Guy Pearce was in that movie. I don't think up with that. Alright, next question. Guy Pearce was in that movie. I still don't remember. I don't think I got a point for that. Guy Pearce is the guy who dies in the beginning scene of the fucking movie, you asshole.

He dies in the first five minutes. He's the guy that dude replaces. I think. It might be. What is the largest island in the Mediterranean Sea? Really not difficult if you think about it. Yeah, it is, Taylor.

It is. It is. Are we ready? Yeah, it is. Yeah. Malta? Is it Malta? Oh, that's funny.

I have Malta, too. No, it is Sicily. Sicily, far and away, the largest island. Didn't know it was a fucking island. It was an island? It's the thing the boot's kicking. That's because your people are from there. You know that.

We don't know that. We're real whites. All right. This, I put three. This is the beginning of the Star Trek. There's three Star Treks in a row, because you guys both know Star Trek very well. What species known to the Borg as Species 329

were deemed unworthy of assimilation? Known to the Borg as Species 329, they were deemed unworthy of assimilation by whatever the Borg is, which I think they were just a total assimilation race. They wanted to... It's a good name. They wanted Borg...

I'm only guessing, but... Yeah, give me a moment, please. I'm trying to come up with this, but it's a good name they won i'm only guessing but yeah give me a moment please i'm trying to come up with this but it's like a moment take two you're out of moments now that's based on what property i would love to know right because it's like i didn't look at i don't know man uh yeah i've never because there's so much as a borg in all of them yeah Yeah, exactly. So when was this defined? When did we hear about Species 329? Just throw a guess up there, Kyle.

In the 20th century show. I'm guessing. I don't know it, so you don't have to know. I don't know then. Guess a species or something. I can't. They put too much pressure. I can't come up with it now. You can do it, man! Have you had your blue chew?

Maybe you could perform under pressure. Well, I can't come up with one that would be that makes sense. So I don't really have it. I think mine makes sense. Alright, should we just do it? Go? Yeah, do it. I put Klingon because they're so different and aggressive and I thought maybe they wouldn't like them.

Klingon? No, it's the Kazan. The Kazan species. I didn't know if that was hard or not. I went to a trivia place for Star Trek and it was on the middle of the list. My guess is that is a one episode in Voyager or

in a series that I haven't seen before. Well, I did not know. Next one. Data had a cat. What was Data's cat's name? I'm going to know it after you tell me. Don't you want to know what sex Data's cat was?

Sure. Include that as an addendum, and it could be the difference maker in the end. Data's cat. You wouldn't think a space robot, which I'm pretty sure is what he is, space android, would have a cat, but he does. What is his cat's name? I'm ready. Sparkles.

I don't know it. It's Spot. Spot. Early on, it was male, but later on, during the episode where they all get devolved, Spot got devolved to an iguana while having kittens. So clearly Spot had gotten off and gotten banged by one of the other Enterprise cats.

So they changed that detail. That's very good. One for two on the Star Trek. All right. This one I thought seemed easy. What is the Klingon home world? What is the Klingon home world? What is the Klingon home world? And Zach, get rid of cheated next to Woody's.

Woody's did not. As the commissioner, I'm a Pats fan, and Woody's the Pats, and he can deflate all he wants. He just took a half pound out of Woody's ball. Woody, what is your middle name? What is the Klingon home world? I'm going to know it for sure after I hear it. I've heard it a hundred times.

The Klingon home world. This one I thought was like not too difficult because the Klingons, even I know they're like a big part of that show. They're not one of their Zahn races. All right. You got it. Yeah. Kyle go first.

Kronos. Kronos. I believe that is correct. Uh, it was spelled on the site. Q O N O Ss did i spell it weird chronos oh who knows well well how do you even interpret the klingon alphabet you know you can learn that like it's a defined language well i guess people do that with elvish too but that's

pretty sweet uh from lord of the rings i wrote klingon i thought maybe the klingons were from klingon i don't know i got it wrong that could be a good question. Yeah, that's a point for Kyle. All right. Next category, Simpsons. What is the name of Ned Flanders' store in the Springfield Mall? Ned, in one of the early seasons, up earlyish season opened up a store in the springfield mall do you know what kyle i i think so i'm ready to show yeah i'm close left orium i also have left orium boom two both of you get left orium correct and he of course goes under because he's validating everyone's parking and giving things away for free and homer wasn't sending him all the business no it was like people were like these damn right-handed scissors and homer's just like not sending them there all right what this is walking dead what animal does daryl dixon wear as a necklace he's got a little necklace with an animal on it what animal is on daryl dixon wear as a necklace. He's got a little necklace with an animal on it. What animal is on Daryl Dixon's necklace?

Heck. Daryl Dixon, of course. The crossbow man. Now, could you phrase the question more specifically? Like more better? More better? Is he wearing a skull as a necklace or is he wearing a necklace that is made to appear to be a skull of some kind he is wearing a necklace that is either made of or resembling an animal

so it could be either or it's both well i say that because i didn't know the answer to this i just saw it online and so i know this i told that uh i'm going to say that it was a uh opossum's penis no what is it i put rabbit rabbit no it's a squirrel he had a squirrel necklace around his neck. Okay. Gerald Dixon, the squirrel hunter. Another nickname from the show. All right, final question.

You know, the natural place to end question 31. 31 flavors. Speaking of lutefisk, that's funny. In King of the Hill season three episode, Revenge of the Lutefisk, who ended up being the man with the terrible smell? One of the characters on the show devoured an entire tray that served 40 of lutefisk, a rancid fish dish

brought by the new, I want to say Wisconsin... It was Daryl. Is there a Daryl on that show? I'm prepared. All right, you're prepared. It is not Daryl. It was Daryl. Is there a Daryl on that show? I'm prepared. All right, you're prepared. It is not Daryl. Who is the man with the terrible smell? I was guessing it was Bill.

No, incorrect. Was it Joe Jack? Bobby ends up being the man with the terrible smell. Cotton Hill takes the fall as the man with the terrible smell, and then eventually Bobby comes out and says, it was me, I'm the man with the terrible smell. And then eventually Bobby comes out and says, it was me. I'm the man with the terrible smell. And then I was up like eight to six. And I'm like, this is an insurmountable lead.

Kyle has like a sour attitude. I'm like, this is going so swimmingly. I'm so upset about that retail store question. I was so mad about that. That was like the sixth question. It's like question 37. Do my taxes. I don't want to write 10 things.

That's going to be an instant win for Woody if he does my taxes for me. 100 points for Gryffindor in that circumstance. Good victory. A narrow victory, Kyle. I think I won the last time, maybe? Yes. Or was it a tie?

Yes. I believe you won last time, so I think that makes it – you guys are one and one. You know, you're one and one in conference games. The coveted PKA Cup can only be held by one man, so hopefully in the grand finals. held by one man so hopefully hopefully in the grand finals and in the end the the thing about this trivia contest is at any point i can add or take away points there were a ton of movie and tv questions in there yeah i i hated it and and again it's not again i i really appreciate all of taylor's quick quick work to to fall on this because you know i've just got so much hate in my heart about this subject. Just so much fucking anger and fury because I wanted to do the thing.

And then it was like, oh, let's not do the thing. Let's do this other thing and I'll do it. And it was like, all right, hands off. And then here we are weeks later. Whoopsie daisy. Now Taylor's got to do something last minute. And it's just making me angry. I mean,

I hear your point, but as the loser, I think I should be focusing my hate on Taylor, right? Taylor's asked all the wrong questions. That's fair. Yeah. I mean,

they're not all going to be winners. Like so often I'm like, I could put another one in here that's like, what country doesn't border fucking Italy? Geography's more fair than 13 years ago. Well, I actually got this one right. What was the movie that won

Best Picture? Well, I didn't know. I would like some questions that require a bit of mental math. I I have to be the arbiter again, I need you guys to send me seven or eight categories each, and I'll do a question for each of that category. No, like a full one. Like eight things you want to be asked.

Well, you don't have to be in our... It doesn't have to be that. I would recommend just using Jeopardy categories. I think that's the trick, is go back to old episodes of Jeopardy, Celebrity Jeopardy, and there you go. It's a pre-made game. I'll do something like that then, because it would be much...

If I have to do it over and under again, I'm going to kill myself. But it's the easiest thing. Over or under? You guys both missed it. I hate over and under but not nothing is as bad as name 30 name the top 10 the highest scoring basketball players from 1996

top what no i'm not gonna write 30 people's fucking names i hated that question i know you did and as soon as i asked it and you know what naive idiot that i am i'm like oh this will be fun they'll have a little he'll have a little fun with this one and then woody blew your back out no i hate it i refuse to take part he absolutely would have gotten more than me because i i hated the question so much like it was hypothetical i mean i quit i quit immediately because i refused to I hated the question so much. My brain would... I mean, I quit. I quit immediately because I refused to I tried to lead you to water

where I was like, what stores do you see? CVS. It was a little weird to me that it seemed like Kyle didn't know 10 stores. No, I don't know. It's like coming up with 10 stores is hard. I don't want to. It's weird to me that it's not front of,

like Home Depot, Lowe's, you've heard of these retail places. Sure. CVS, Walgreens. Yeah, I thought of them. I just didn't want to write them. I didn't want the, I felt the busy work of forcing me to write things

was, I would rather lose the point and move the game to a question that doesn't require a whole bunch of writing. Was your Sharpie, did it have more friction than mine? Because I didn't think it was hard to write. I mean, i just didn't want to three letters i will forfeit any question requires me to write i think you should write your high school teachers and apologize for who you were i i i absolutely won't do it i won't well okay don't write it and i've never seen a game

where that was a question you You know what? Next week. Last time Jeopardy said, name the top 10 scoring players from Major League Baseball. We're not doing the ideas. I want to be the quiz master next time. Yeah, do that. We can switch around. Someone else do it. I don't need to be the trivia writer.

That's playing the game. We're supposed to have a quiz master here. How about this? There's a good question for next week. All right. Whoever lists more two-digit numbers, more two-digit numbers. I would like some reasoning questions.

Not necessarily math, but I don't know, two cars doing two things. Which one's going to get there? You don't want to write CVS, but you want to do math i want to do common sense reasoning things like if you showed me a ball going that was going to travel down three different paths and you asked me which one gets there the fastest a b or c multiple

choice is fucking key to this game by the way it was a multiple choice well that makes it you know they're kind of complicated but you visualize pouring water in from this side and it's like which one would fill oh yeah i like first yeah those are hard that would be fun yeah they can be hard some well maybe if i think they're easy i'm not getting it so i don't know but i i don't know i've seen a bunch of the one i've only seen yeah that would be a good time i stared at stared at it for a while, and I was like, fuck all this. And then I read the comments, and they were like, actually... You know the ones I don't...

So there's these math questions where they ask order of operations. But sometimes I think it's not completely clear. It's not completely clear. That's why they're... For some reason, I'm on the homework subreddit. So it's like parents presenting their homework like like hey me and my wife can't figure this one out what yeah and the answer will often be that the phrasing is poor that like ah actually medvedev is the better answer because he is the most recent person who was president before putin he was the president of the country, right? He was not president. He was first deputy secretary.

What is Putin? President of the Russian Federation. Yes. Are you sure? Yes. How sure? So sure that I Googled it as I was writing that question. And then it said...

I feel like Matt DeDev was in charge for a while. If you go to Boris Yeltsin's page... It doesn't matter. It says, I'm sorry, succeeded by. I'm explaining why that's irrelevant. If I had not been mistakenly thinking that Medvedev took over for him,

then I would have known Boris Yeltsin, unfortunately. But it doesn't matter, because I won nonetheless. The uphill battle, with the tricked questions, just every step of the way. Even with your one point attitude deduction, just, just defensive defenders hanging off me left and right.

Like the bulldozer. Maybe that was prime minister. I don't know. Prime minister is different than president or president is a Russian title. I don't know. Yeah, but I, I agree where a guy who goes twice asking who's before him is an imperfect question.

I'll be honest with you. I finished writing these questions at like 535 and we started. Again, it's misplaced anger. Thank you so much for making a game with two hours of time while you put a costume together. Thank you. Everyone's appreciative. And it was wonderful. But I hated it. Well well i want to do i

want to do and we should just have let's just have zach be the the clue master next time and then we can all i know chis has a whole thing set up but he had a fucking emergency come up and i'm well we just have him give his setup to zach and then run it because he always here, and then we'll do it because I want to be able to... But Chiz will come on the show? I thought that was the deal, that he was going to come on the show and host the game for us, and so that's why I was annoyed is because he had a thing that came up today.

I'm not trying to throw him under the bus. I'm just mad at the situation. I thought he was making it for Taylor, but I might misunderstand the situation. No, he made it sound like he wanted to run it because I was like two weeks ago or whatever after we did the first one last week, I don't remember. I was like, man, I want to be able to answer him too.

And he was like, oh, you can because I'll run it. Well, if he's too busy, we can always have Zach jump in and do it. I bet Chiz does a good job with the questions. I bet Chiz does a fantastic job with the questions. bet Chiz does a fantastic job with the questions

I'm excited for it I love trivia when the questions are good and when people don't put poor Taylor in a position where he has to make such terrible terrible questions because that's not fair to Taylor it makes Taylor look retarded to do this to him

most of them were pretty good don't make it look like this again no one's blaming you taylor we're just saying you looked really bad we're just saying that people are gonna hate it you retards yeah yeah i'm not saying you did a bad job i'm saying you were put in a position where you did a terrible job i was set up to fail is what thank you i I enjoyed it. I'm glad we got our marker boards. There will be more trivia to come. Yeah, and I got my marker board untouched.

I'm going to get a smaller marker board next time. Yeah, right? See, it was like two more dollars for a much bigger one, and I was like, got an upgrade, and I really should have gotten that little one that was the size of this piece of paper. I have a little electric one. Do you know what a boogie board is? Yeah to me a boogie board is like a a toy you play in the surf

with but that is to me as well yeah oh if you google it you'll find that it's like an electronic whiteboard ah oh i didn't know that you just need a regular old dry erase, though, for this. I got one. I'm good. But that sounds interesting. I just remember the old thing where you peel the plastic back and the letters go away. Oh, yeah. That would be an aggravate.

And then it stops working. I don't know anybody who used that toy for more than a day. It was a way that you could write bad words and show your friend and go, and then you got your calculator. And then my mom walks over and is like, why is there an N embedded into this? Yeah, I wish I'd gotten this instead.

Colin uses it. I forget if it's speech therapy or reading therapy or whatever it is but we have them in the house neato uh zach i sent you a picture earlier on whatsapp in the group can you show them this gigantic rat that they shot in ukraine in the fucking uh uh tunnels or looking at that picture are you sure the gun's that size i've looked at that picture so much and what i'm looking at is the the gun close-up and the rat close-up because i'm trying to tell if there if one of them is a is a zoomed in image and so like the uh the clarity of it would be would be off or something but man it looks real to me and look i i maybe i'm easy

to get one over on but that looks like a real fucking rat maybe it's not a rat but maybe some sort of giant nutria or something that they have there yeah they said it was a rat on the internet and that tail is so long and nutria as a gun expert and i look at that gun and think it's a miniature like it's not a real gun but i i if you say it's real then that's the kind of thing you know i mean i don't see anything about that gun that says fake you know i just look at like the size of the clumps of dirt and rocks and twigs and i'm like they all look in proportion to the rat but not the gun to my eye. You can kind of see some footprints up in the top. But, you know, you've got to be Apache Joe to make anything of those.

No, I think you're literally right about the Nutria thing. They do have those big-ass rat-looking rodents. The rodents of unusual size? Yes. R-U-S-es. I believe it's just a legend what are those big giant rodents that they have in like southeast asia that are like the size of dogs the largest road oh those things are cool as shit they're they're like super chill the uh

capybara is that what it is yeah yeah they like, they'll sit there. Like, I've seen them like taking warm baths and chilling out. And I've seen them with like farm animals just grooming them. And they just sit there like a dog. You know, when you like scritch a dog just right. And he just kind of stares off and is like, yeah. Like, they just do that 24-7. They're friendly with every animal in their ecosystem. They're just chill with everything.

And they just get a bad rap for being a rodent. I don't think they get a bad rap. Capybara, people have them as pets. as pets look out i mean it looks like a cartoon it looks like photoshopped like it's so weird looking so i'm told they're super friendly and every time i see a video of one they're like snuggling a dog or playing with another animal in a non-aggressive way yeah i, I would definitely have one of those. Look at that fucker. I like an animal that's not scared. Dogs are curiously outgoing

for something that doesn't have a lot of attacks. This is a little off topic. It turns out I like venomous fish. We have some fish with venomous fangs, some fish with venomous spikes, and you'd think they'd be a real problem or aggressive or assholes. No. Fish with venomous fangs swim out in the middle like they don't give a fuck they they go and get

the food they they swim up to the glass they look at you they're not scared it's the scaredy fish that i enjoy less that makes sense like the the colorful poison ones kind of like the dart frogs, where they can just hang out in clear view because being in clear view, everything around them is like, all right, well, that thing's orange. Nothing else is orange. I want nothing to do with it. I don't want to eat that red thing.

You guys, I know Woody's up on the hill over there far away from prying eyes, but have you put up any Halloween decorations, Taylor? I have not, but I bought candy today when I was out getting my Pikachu costume. I'm all set up, ready to hand out candy this weekend. I think I'm going to do some stuff in the yard. I got a bunch of spider webs and candles, and I got my fog machine, of course. I saw where this guy, I guess they thought that it was Halloween decorations, but it was just a man dead in the yard.

And so when they came to cut the grass, they just cut around the dead body and left it laying there all day. And turns out, no, dead guy. North Carolina, China Hill or something was the community. Holy shit. How'd he die? I don't think they figured that out yet. I think natural causes was part of it. It's like a 35-year-old guy.

I'm off my memory. I read the article a couple days ago. 35? And just like laying... Again, I read the article a couple days ago. I found it. It's in China Grove. And they thought it was a training dummy, but it was an actual body.

This article doesn't imply Halloween's in play, but that's why they left it there. They thought it was Halloween decoration. So like the guy cut the grass and drove around a dead man because he thought it was one of those, you know, people do that show all the time. I've seen some gruesome ones online where it's like,

holy shit, this is a murder scene. This is crazy a couple of my neighbors went ham yeah I mean honestly that's the best possibility there for that groundskeeper like that could have ruined his day but he was still just like

after this I'm gonna go to Chick-fil-A no PTSD for me no PTSD he just was working he probably was thinking like alright that's a six by six square i don't have to deal with because this guy just wanted to decorate in a weird way what if he did it must be one of those animatronic ones it's gurgling at me what if he's like i told him to clean that yard up i'm drive over anything they left out here he's expecting straw to fly everywhere but it's just intestines brain matter christ

yeah one of my neighbors like must have like brought like had dirt shipped in because they like made like a giant grave site with like someone burying like other you know fake people obviously in this giant so there's just like a five foot tall by five foot wide like giant pile of dirt sitting in their front yard with like all the decorations around it i figure that guy did so much heavy lifting clearly that i don't actually need to do anything other than have candy yeah yeah you could do like a co-halloween type thing where you leech onto him and i like, what do you think of our decorations? What do you think?

You've got like a bowl of punch and that's it. I'm ladling punch into their pillowcases. It was Christmas, but there was this one that had an amazing display. You've seen them sync to music and it's outrageous. And the house next to it put a sign

with an arrow that said ditto I thought that was funny that is funny well all right I loved it check out our sponsors links in the description pka671 happy halloween