Painkiller Already - PKA 673 W/ Brandon Buckingham: Turning To A Clean Life, Donating For Abby Shapiro, Going To An Onsen

Episode Date: November 11, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:00 pka 673 fan favorite brandon fuckingham taylor this episode of pk is brought to you by pharaoh distro and blue chew a couple of wonderful products to get your penis hard and get you high i'll talk more about them later brandon thank you so much for joining us very highly requested we missed you yeah nice to see you guys again man it's been like 14 months it's been too long you're looking a long time, I've been in the gym. Nice. Do you have a feud with Danny? What was his last name?
Starting point is 00:00:31 Danny Mullen? Danny Mullen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did that ever, did that fade away? Did you squash it? Did you escalate it? Where are we on that? No, it didn't really fade away.
Starting point is 00:00:39 I'm just waiting for a mayonnaise round two. You're going to fight him? No, he's not gonna fight me it's fine i mean that's kind of old news at this point but uh no hasn't really been squashed exactly what does mayonnaise round two possibly mean is i squirted him in the face with mayonnaise you don't remember that i remember that yeah you do he didn't care for it at all no he was upset he's very well did he know it was mayonnaise but to be fair no he didn't know what it was and it could have been anything so i i'd be a bit upset as well can i just say like you're one of
Starting point is 00:01:09 those guys you're out there on the street sometimes with a camera and a microphone and i've seen uh ice beside in particular recently not recently but twice over the last couple months get some mystery liquid thrown on his head or in his face dude like that's gotta be a concern right i mean here you are perpetrating it throwing the bottle afterward is so fucking funny like he was playing a mentally handicapped war veteran but no ice beside and got piss uh allegedly piss piss and diarrhea like dumped on him is what i heard yeah like prison style a poo supreme i think that was in Oz. Remember, they throw a shit and cum cocktail at the Oz guard who was going to go to the NBA.
Starting point is 00:01:50 And then he has to get tested for AIDS. Life comes at you fast. That was the lesson in that episode. Yeah. Fuck Oz. That's a bad show. Dude, Oz. I don't want to get sidetracked by Oz. I love they found time to take taking guards NBA dreams away.
Starting point is 00:02:01 What happened afterwards? And their depressing show. No, this was This was after he had his Achilles sliced. Stop it with the Oz talk. Brandon literally squeezed it. What happened after that scene? I don't know this scene.
Starting point is 00:02:16 After the mayonnaise thing, I squared up with him and then his camera guy pushed me so I kicked him in the leg and then the cops tackled me and arrested me and then... So he squared up with you he was it's kind of a tie at this point i guess maybe he got mayonnaise yeah i think i'm up prized mayonnaise i mean i guess you're up but it like i feel wasn't like he cowered and said someday well his camera guy his camera guy got in front of me and then pushed me and i leg kicked
Starting point is 00:02:42 him and then they claimed i kicked him in the nuts when I didn't. He's a real one though. Like you got to appreciate your camera guy stepping up in a, in a moment like that. Do you think your cameraman would do the same if the, if things were swapped around? No, I wouldn't let him.
Starting point is 00:02:55 I would, I would want, you know, I would want to, you get mayo out of your eyes. You can't stop. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 00:03:00 What if it's spicy mustard? Oh shit. Dijon. You could get Dijon. Yeah. Yeah. No, he thought I came in the mayonnaise. That would be excessive. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:03:09 I just imagine him gathering all the particulates and having them tested at a great expense to himself looking for your seminal fluids. A DNA test. But if there ever is a second time, you better leave. There we go. I'm just kidding. See, a second bottle over there you're
Starting point is 00:03:26 absolutely gushing that's perfect that stuff rocks though got me juiced up but no there's not gonna be a second mania i think that the beef is just about you know it's dead pretty much at this point it's been over two years it's kind of faded okay okay that's a good clip though i had not seen that clip before i hadn't seen it either and you're both jits guys you both are either one of you would win against normal people yeah yeah i think he's a purple belt i'm a white belt so okay that means yeah but i wrestled for 20 years and you trained in thailand like you're not a typical white belt yeah but i only didn't know slide in though i wrestled for 20 years like this is so much wrestling experience yeah figure it out yeah jesus bro i actually i've been training mma i'm about to have an mma fight uh in december
Starting point is 00:04:11 well the contract isn't signed but i'm supposed to really is it like a high profile thing like a youtube deal or are you like in a minor show it's supposed to be in like ksi's misfits thing with uh you guys actually i'm sure you know who he. I don't think I can say his name, but he's a black belt in jiu-jitsu. Friends with Keemstar. I do know him. I know who you're talking about. Yeah. He's a cool guy.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Yeah, I like the guy a lot. He weighs a lot more than you. Am I crazy? Yeah, I walk around like 78, 80, and he's like 85, 90. Oh, I thought the gap was bigger. How tall are you? 6'3". Okay.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Yeah. What is he, like 5'10"? 5'10", 5'11". But yeah, on paper, he should take me down and submit me, so that's exciting. Is that why? Because I was seeing your Twitter and everything, how you're like, I'm totally sober, I'm working out every single day,
Starting point is 00:04:58 doing flexibility stuff, exercise, training. Is it in the lead up to that? I didn't know about the fight until like two weeks ago i was just doing that to get my brain right because you know i was having some some brain issues you know what i mean i know what you mean sometimes you have brain issues and you need a break from everything yeah just feeling like down and stuff and especially when okay your job's going good and all i'm doing is like editing videos and traveling but i'm neglecting my health and stuff dude isn't that crazy how like you can just not feel the joy you're supposed to, and there's no root cause?
Starting point is 00:05:31 Man, there's 30 million people who would trade spots with me right now. And fuck. No, definitely. They're stupid. You want to trade spots with Woody? Woody's got a sweet life i mean woody in particular i wanted to ask you about that palestinian uh rally that you attended what's what are the feelings on the ground oh the temperature of the room are they upset angry happy cheerful
Starting point is 00:06:00 the j boys got him riled up i'll say that j boys got a mad route up but i mean i watched the fox news coverage of it they said it was like a terrorist uprising and they were like trying to overthrow the capital or some bullshit but it was calm it was like similar vibes to january 6th it was just a bunch of people outside screaming with signs and um yeah it was pretty calm i didn't think it was that intense or insane or anything. Were you at January 6th also? Yeah, I was there all day. You didn't go inside?
Starting point is 00:06:33 No, I didn't go inside because I'm not a fucking complete idiot. That's a good move. And you'd tell us if you had, of course. Yeah, no, definitely. But they were welcoming people inside. You could have just gone inside. It didn't seem like a difficult thing to do. We've all seen the footage of the people who like busted in but they're not everyone had to break a window to get in no no it seems like a lot of people didn't they're opening
Starting point is 00:06:54 the doors what was part of you like oh my god the content if i go into the capital like that would be such good footage and then you'd be in jail right now you'd be in solitary being sprayed with a hose i think i had like 12 000 subscribers at the time and i was just thinking like if i go in there it's over oh for sure that's what i was thinking like i'm never gonna jail it could have been a second boston tea party you know if enough people had just piled on in there though yeah did it was crazy because january 6th everyone was outside of the capitol building for like four hours there There was conveniently bleachers set up. And then, I don't even know if I should be talking about this, but
Starting point is 00:07:29 they eventually tear gassed everyone and we left. But why didn't they tear gas them hours earlier? They let us be there for hours and hours. And as soon as they tear gassed everyone, we all left. They got their footage. You know how it is. Yeah. I saw a guy get shot in the face with a rubber bullet through his cheek
Starting point is 00:07:45 through his cheek it penetrated those are real deal so yeah do you think it just to be totally clear you think it went through his cheek and out the other side into his mouth yeah i think it went through his cheek and busted his teeth and then he had a big hole in his face it's still on my youtube video that's still up on youtube damn i did not see that one but yeah the palestine rally is the biggest in american history and um it was just a bunch of people yelling outside the streets with signs and they were upset that we're supporting israel yeah they were like joe biden sucks and he's got uh palestinian blood on his hands and whatnot stuff like that but there was an exciting uh sub-genre of black people that
Starting point is 00:08:25 uh the uhuru people and they were demanding reparations they were they're out there demanding reparations and they handed me the sign that was like white people need to give reparations to black people and i was like oh that sounds you know awesome and uh and i tried to get up to do an interview and they made me wait for like 30 minutes and then told me that they they wouldn't do an interview with me to get away and it's like how are you gonna get reparations from me if you're not going to tell me what the fuck is going on? They can't even organize their own rally. They're piggybacking on the Palestine people. They're like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:08:52 This is a big group. Let's bring our shit. Yeah. It wasn't a very good sales pitch. I'm going to bring a sign about how the NHL draft lottery is rigged. Just look at how pissed all of us are about this. And then Chicago got Conor Bedard so you saw a lot of um anti-joe biden stuff was that was that the main focus because there's a lot of ways to
Starting point is 00:09:14 to get mad about what's going on you could be like down with the zionists right or you could you could focus it solely on just them or you could be like down with all of israel or you could be like down with all the jews but you saw some biden stuff yes a lot of anti-joe biden a lot of anti-zionism a lot of i don't know if you guys saw nikki haley uh tweeted out that um anti-zionism is anti-semitism it seemed like a lot of people saw that and they were pretty adamant to fight against that like they were saying like whoops yeah we're not anti-semitic we're just anti-zionist so there's a bunch of people talking about that and people bringing up the nakba and you know things that um are from palestine's history what's the nakba the nakba was like the 1948 displacement of 900 000 to 2 million uh palestinians and they're not i don't know anything
Starting point is 00:10:00 about it i don't know anything about it yeah yeah you got the numbers pretty close no opinions i don't know anything about it nor do i't know anything about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No opinions. I don't know anything about it. Nor do I have any opinions. I agree with which, whichever side is going to get me in the least amount of trouble. You know what I mean? That's the same. We know which side that is.
Starting point is 00:10:15 Yes, we do. I love it. I love what we were talking the other day. Who, who was it? It was like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:10:20 Kanye is just always ahead of his time, man. Always ahead of his time. There are the streets. Like, like, like, like's just always ahead of his time, man. Always ahead of his time. They're in the streets! Like, saying what kind of... Damn it. Could have waited eight months. Yeah, he could have waited eight months.
Starting point is 00:10:33 I think he still would have lost his bank and his shoes. I don't know. Man, if he dropped some sort of anti-Zionist album right now and started talking about the Jews took my wife away or something, you know know with his craziness i haven't heard if he hadn't held up that like graph of it on his phone where like because that that made him look a little a little goofy where he was like it remember that woody
Starting point is 00:10:58 where he's being interviewed about it and he's like i'm not gonna say who it is. That Jewish. That hilarious line. But then he holds up this 4chan meme that shows the media and all that. Of course, it's read it out with the Jewish people and whatnot. He's holding the phone shakily at the camera that's videoing him.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Don't ever hold your phone up with memes when you're arguing with someone in person.'s a it's bad optics makes you look dumb yeah what about this i thought it was really uh interesting i asked like two dozen people why they think that the american government is supporting israel over palestine and pretty much all of them were like pretty much all of them were like i don't know we don't know and i feel like it's mostly because i was there with a camera and They don't want to lose their
Starting point is 00:11:46 jobs and stuff. People definitely seemed hesitant to talk to the camera. Stay confused. Understandable. Walk away. Don't come to any definitive foots about this. Or you might get got. I'm a good boy. I know who's right and who's wrong. I was saying
Starting point is 00:12:04 earlier, I feel terrible for those dogs that they're sending down into the tunnels in Valentine's. Kyle doesn't watch anything but Hannity. It's just nothing. Don't forget about Mark Levin, okay? Come on. I like Ben Shapiro.
Starting point is 00:12:20 I'm Ben Shapiro. That's my boy. His sister got them titties. I love them titties and I love him. He's so handsome and smart. He's so smart. He's debating 11-year-olds who are trying to play pickup baseball. Taylor, at what age should we start educating the youth? I think you should get them early because if you only argue with 60-year-old men, I don't think anything's going to change. Ben Shapiro would tell you that too. Kyle's making a lot of sense. He just said
Starting point is 00:12:46 faster. You need his sister to be there with him. Nodding along and affirming him with a low-cut dress. He would do so much better. She could make you agree and disagree by doing this and this. Show us the titties.
Starting point is 00:13:01 You get her up there talking about Zionism, I'm like, you're right, babe. I think we'd give you all of Egypt, huh? Does that get you going? How about the whole Middle East? She's a coercive young lady, that's for sure. With them titties, boy. I'd be okay if they wanted Egypt.
Starting point is 00:13:17 I know that they didn't build the pyramids, but most people don't know that. So they could make a claim for reparations. This woman makes good points. They're bigger than her head, which is a don't know that. So they make a claim for reparations. This woman makes good points. They're bigger than her head, which is a subreddit that I love. They're bigger than her head. Good for her. I don't know what her beliefs are. I can guess what her beliefs are. Her brother's
Starting point is 00:13:34 Ben Shapiro, but who cares? She's about to make me donate, boy. About to make me enlist. We should all join the IDF, you know what I mean? I was listening to that the other day yeah i think it's funny i'm just interested because we're allowed in you know what we were talking about the skin bank before woody do you know about the idf skin bank no how does the skin
Starting point is 00:13:56 bank are we allowed to talk about some of this stuff yeah don't be so loud about the goddamn skin bank all right well i'm looking to make a deposit. I've got... Somebody at your house is going to fuck... Oh, they're stocked full. They don't need any deposits. My doorbell rang just now. I'm an old man. I'm not expecting anyone. If I donated a little skin, would it be like a facelift, maybe?
Starting point is 00:14:15 I want the whole goddamn thing, I think. So the IDF skin bank is like... They've got all that skin there in case their soldiers get all burned up and stuff. So they need lots of human skin. And, you know, so they're skinning the uh the palestinians and that their skin thieves is what the word on the street is do they need any fat i could go for lipo just no they don't want that just your skin i think human skin goes for a lot on the on the on the uh the market now what are you're not a baby but they might if you're not circumcised they are willing to circumcise you and and suck your dick that's rumor on the street can we can we negotiate
Starting point is 00:14:49 on the circumcision part you know like uh like the american military you join the marines they sit you down and like roughly shave your head in the idf they like have a second guy trimming your cock skin before you go out into battle it to be sure wait the second guy i i was laughing does he blow you or circumcise no he circumcises you that's a terrible deal no no no they should shave your head and blow you as your initiation into the israeli defense force yeah you'd get more you get a lot more people interested if they're hard to get more people since it's mandatory. Isn't there like a 20%?
Starting point is 00:15:28 What's the percentage of Arabs in Israel? I would be curious about that number. Like population of Arab Israelis, I guess. Because I know there's no Jews in Palestine. There's none. There's some right now. But normally you wouldn't see so many.
Starting point is 00:15:44 I don't even know. I guess you're right. Yeah, 100%. There's none there that live there. So how many Arabs live in Israel? Oh, no. I would need Zach to fill me in. I don't have the number, but I guarantee it's greater than zero.
Starting point is 00:15:58 I'm going to guess. 18%? 20%. Oh, I didn't even see it. I was close. That was pretty good. Thank you, Zach. What about the inverse? That's as much research as I think anyone needs see it. I was close. That was pretty good. Thank you, Zach. What about the inverse?
Starting point is 00:16:06 That's as much research as I think anyone needs to do about this entire topic. That's very telling right there. Don't look any deeper at all. What did you learn from that? That 18% of Israel is Muslim. I don't know what to infer. You and I both, Woody. I don't get it either. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:22 I was just pointing out that there's zero Jews in Palestine, but there's 18% of Muslims in Israel. Israel is nicer. More taller to the other. It's nicer. Are you kidding me? If they're like, hey, you get a free house in Palestine and you get a free house in Israel,
Starting point is 00:16:40 I'm going to go to the place that has running water and nice infrastructure. Everybody's always complaining about real estate. Go to Palestine. I bet that stuff's cheap. Louis Thoreau did a documentary called The Zionist Settlers of Israel in 2012. It's a really crazy watch. There's like Christians will go over to Israel to serve Jewish people and work for them for
Starting point is 00:16:58 free, and they'll be like, oh, well, they're the chosen people. That's insane. And it's like a real thing that happens. But I like the name Defense Force a lot. Next time I get into a real beef with someone, that's what I'm going to call myself. No matter what, I'm just going to be defending. The Israeli Defense Force.
Starting point is 00:17:14 The Brandon Defense Force. The BDF. The BDF. Go around rocking people in the face. Well, I'm sure this won't escalate into a much larger global conflict so that's all it is it's gonna be fun to watch um i saw they were using some future weapon stuff they've got drones flying through the tunnels and then exploding with foam like foaming them uh the
Starting point is 00:17:35 tunnel out and i'm so this is like expanding phone to close the door essentially yeah okay and i imagine it like gigantic right right? Not like just a doorway-sized amount of foam. And I imagine the foam to somehow be harder than the great stuff I use to seal holes. I hope that it catches people, and that they're trying to escape it, but it envelops
Starting point is 00:17:58 them in its wake. 13% of Palestine is Jewish. 18% of Israel is Palestinian. I don't think this is real. Wow, fact-checked, dumbass. This can't be true. Zach wrote it. It's the end of conversation.
Starting point is 00:18:12 And I'm not going to Google it. And so it's true. I don't believe it. You're wrong. I choose not to believe it because the last three times you fact-checked me, he was wrong. Zach, can you go ahead and confirm that fact with a thumbs up in chat? I'm thinking it's confirmed. I don't think we can do it, Vodacons.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Fake news, Kyle. 13% of the population of the Gaza Strip is Jewish. Is that what you're telling me? What is dot line dot dot? So 200 million Jews are over there. Now you're flipping it around. You said all Palestine. Now you're going just Gaza Strip.
Starting point is 00:18:43 I don't even think Palestine exists, Taylor. Yeah. Ben Shapiro. A land without a people. I think the United States recognize Palestine as a locale. Probably not. I don't know. If they do, they're soon to not.
Starting point is 00:18:59 That's for sure. But I want to go over there next year. Wouldn't it be cool to go over to Israel and do some on-the-ground, men-on-the- over there next year it'd be cool wouldn't it be cool to go over to israel and do some like on the ground uh men on the street interviews that'd be sweet you should talk to the people not right now i think why not now i i think now is the time because i i do see those clips on reddit of like people with like having a great time in israel like like back home like chilling on the beach and bikinis and stuff by the pool like having a great time like i i think it'd be fine right now i think it's that's the
Starting point is 00:19:30 tiktok difference like like i'm not saying you're wrong but i am saying yeah yeah talk that like if you look at what the israelis are doing right now they're on the beach they're partying they're kicking off the next music festival girls in in bikinis, boys flirting, whatever. And then you go over to Palestine and there's like children bleeding, legs mangled, dead bodies, blood, ruined infrastructure. And it's a night and day difference. Yeah. I've seen enough war footage for a long time. Just scrolling through Twitter.
Starting point is 00:20:04 It's like, oh, I don't want to see that that's all those dead kids like lively lively got shut down and just became twitter neither of us have been within like 3 000 miles of a war and we're like i've had enough of this i mean we're not wrong yeah you know it's hockey and I'm going bread and circuses mode. It's all good. Dude, it is basketball season and my team is the best in the East right now. I'm going to have to pretend I was one of the best. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Oh, I hate regular season sports. I truly believe that major sports are mostly fixed and that they're regulating the scores and keeping them tight so that nobody leaves the TV and we get the full, like, you know, everybody watches the commercials at the end. Like, I just fully believe it's all fake. It's just fake, fake, fake. I don't know why a Georgia fan would say that. I mean, look, I'm not saying that.
Starting point is 00:21:03 And that thing about keeping the scores tight doesn't seem right at all yeah mizzou basketball and basketball right like like don't they do that all the time uh see i want to be like no there's lots of blowouts but the big game i just watched it was a blowout and then boston went on a 10-0 run, got it close, still lost. I don't know. Things happen. Yeah. I shit on basketball all the time, but I think I would like it more if they just completely changed the game and altered it and made it better. I just can't watch it. I hate it. There isn't another sport where you connect with the players as much.
Starting point is 00:21:37 I feel like that's basketball strength. If you're a stats and stories guy – well, actually MMA, I think you connect even more. I love that. You can see them. You talk to they get the media access is outstanding a bunch of these guys have like instagrams and youtubes and x accounts and they like share their views and they get into trouble their girlfriends tell on them it's fucking hilarious that's uh in the nfl for example like i wouldn't recognize most of these guys in the street. They're wearing helmets.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Yeah, the helmet's no good. That's the new tech thing they need to do for that sport. We need to be able to see their faces. Helmet delete on the video. Let me see that dude running around. Let me see him looking around. That'd be cool. You like POV angles?
Starting point is 00:22:20 Yeah. No, no, no. Digitally remove their helmets so I can see a scene. Oh, no. I was thinking more like Iron Man. That's so much better better you know the scenes where you see oh we're going inside yeah yeah dude a pov angle where like you could you could watch a linebacker's point of view or you could watch like an nhl player shooting or whatever it is like that would be that'd be awesome i can't believe they haven't done that i There is a lot of tech. I look forward. It all gets better.
Starting point is 00:22:46 So you know in the NFL, they have those orange pylons right at the corner of the end zones. They have so much tech in them now. They have CPU cooling fans in the pylons. It's pretty cool. There's too much tech there. In the NHL, they put sensors in the puck. Like two years ago, they tried it out because they were like, with these sensors in the puck,
Starting point is 00:23:09 they'll know exactly when it crosses over into the goal, so we don't need to analyze it. And then if I recall, a couple players were like, yeah, it's unbelievably obvious we're shooting a puck with something inside it. This is not game ready. And then they didn't use it for games, and I guess they haven't figured out that technology. It's because we're funding
Starting point is 00:23:30 all these foreign wars. We can't get the pucks right. I'm super happy with Georgia, obviously, on the brink of a third title in a row. But if they lost, it would just bum me out a little. But if my favorite UFC fighter loses, i'm genuinely upset tonight way more tomorrow and the next week i'm still bummed that clearly thug rose has some
Starting point is 00:23:52 mental issues going on right now and they haven't they've been persisting and that's why she's not there contending for the the title or in the division at all like that bums me out and when sean strickland inevitably loses to uh drick is duplessi i'm gonna be bummed out i'm gonna be in the other direction i love that guy when sean strickland won i remember you being on cloud nine like four days later you're like every day i woke up and thought i live in a world where sean strickland is champion oh oh i i dislike um out of sonja so much so to see him get get fucked up like that by a guy he was just looking way past was beautiful and you know sean's is such an interesting character the the mercenary nature of a professional sports is is a big turnoff like it's you can root for that
Starting point is 00:24:39 red and black ugag all you want but it's a different crew every four years at least. Maybe every year you got a different QB even sometimes. That's how college works. That's how all sports work is what I'm saying. Like your Minnesota Blues will not be the Minnesota Blues that you rooted for next year, next year, next year. They're never going to be. They're always shuffling around.
Starting point is 00:25:00 He has a point there. No one cares. That's true. The Minnesota Blues aren't just this. The St. Louis Blues cares. That's true. The Minnesota Blues aren't just this. The St. Louis Blues is who he roots for. The Minnesota is the wild. Did you see the video of Israel Adesanya jerking off his dog?
Starting point is 00:25:14 Yeah. What was up with that, man? I never got an answer with that. Hundreds of times. Do you follow the MMA guru guy? The guy with the big beard? Yeah, I've heard of that guy. He has a real hard've heard of that guy. Yeah. He has a real,
Starting point is 00:25:27 uh, hard on for, for that subject. So he'll break down Twitter posts and like dive deep into Adesanya is like search histories and shit and prove that Adesanya is into bestiality and, and into pup play. And he's, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:40 he's got the tattoo and he, uh, he talked about like, shout out to the puppy when he was talking about his sex life on that interview show. There's lots of evidence for Mr. Adesanya. That he's actually into bestiality. He's making out with the dog.
Starting point is 00:25:54 He wore the collar at the press conference. I was like, what the fuck is going on? This guy's a menace. He needs to be stopped. He can't be let out. You should ask the dog first. You're making some assumptions. Is he the guy Sean Strickland beat up? Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:26:07 I like that. Taylor only cares about one Israel and it's not Adesanya. For more than 10 years now, I've said it's okay to have sex with animals, provided that the animal is large enough that it can defend itself. You want to fuck a donkey or Clydesdale? Knock yourself out.
Starting point is 00:26:28 You want to fuck a chicken? I'm not sure the chicken's down for this so dog yeah it's right in that that in between spot is that the real meaning of this is like you're trying to fuck a gorilla that's why there's a gorilla on it it's because his logo has like a gorilla on it I lobbied hard for it just to be even more sperm on the bottle than that when we were talking to the designers and they kept coming back and being like is this enough come and kyle and woody were like yeah that's fine and i kept being like no it has to have more and i fought for every splatter on that bottle every single one it was like 50 less than that and i had to bite and claw and be valiant. I only cared about the cannon.
Starting point is 00:27:08 I was like, yeah, you know, lock it low because it's a gun. We're making a pun here. But it was like more cummies. More cummies. Yes. Yeah. And it's good that it has a lot of cum on it because it's funnier. It's better.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Yeah. That bottle costs 80 cents more because of the cummies. That white ink ain't cheap. I think the ingredient pigium africanum is kind of weird. Do you guys know what that is exactly? Yeah, I think pygium. That's for the pre-cum.
Starting point is 00:27:33 That's what that is? Yeah, that gets you leakin'. So that's why you're leakin'. The blood of a pygmy african or something? Well, we tried for that. It was really expensive to source, so we stuck with pygium, which is some kind of bark, some kind of some like makes you create more pre-cum. Because like, as you know, everybody out there, when you take it, you'll just be having sex or doing whatever you're doing. You'll be like, what's going on? I'm just leaking. I'm leaking pre-cum. Just absolutely dripping. And it's good. That's what you want.
Starting point is 00:28:03 Women say, this is great. You gave me a taste. I love this. Did you guys watch Sam Hyde's fight versus I.M. Thompson? Of course. In the pre-fight press conference, he's like screaming in his face, I.M. Thompson! He's talking about his dick.
Starting point is 00:28:23 So good. That was very funny. sam came on here after the fight and everything we talked about it and he didn't seem like he had any plans ever again to fight like he had done the one and oh out in front of people and now i don't think or maybe he's changed his mind but i don't think he'll do it again yeah i think both of us after we did our fight was like this fucking sucked like really bad the training sucked the fight sucked even though we won but i don't know i don't know why i'm going to fight again really what did you not like about the training because i really enjoy having a purpose to to do something hard i guess the just the hard
Starting point is 00:28:59 sparring everything besides the hard sparring was good. Oh, okay. I was getting my ass kicked. Yeah. Besides the sparring, it was good. How did that impact your confidence? It was just like a steady, like, medium confidence. Okay. Not very high, not very low. But I lost, like, every sparring round I did in preparation for my ice beside fight, and it went a single round.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Yeah. Yeah, ice was in over his head. Yeah, I don't think he did any i don't think he did any hard sparring swear like when i hit him once he was shocked dude what the hell is that guy up to now i have that's what i was talking about earlier last time i saw him he was it looked like he was on like a pier you know somewhere in california maybe or florida and somewhere like that and some dude comes up behind him and douses him with a stinky mystery liquid
Starting point is 00:29:48 and Brandon and when I see that I always suspect that it's the prison thing where you take shit and piss and make a like a homogenous goo that you throw on somebody and it sounds like Brandon suggested that it was which is you just hear ice going
Starting point is 00:30:03 what was that dude and then yeah sam pepper like chased the guy down and tackled him and put him in a room naked choke but ice has been doing a prison stream where he has people like stuck in a room and essentially like harasses them until they quit oh okay little fish tank maybe fish tank yeah it was like the fish tank before fish tank actually inspired Sam and Jed, I believe. I've never watched Isis. Actually, I think the second season of fish tank is coming up, right? Yeah, it should be here before too long, a month or so. I stand by what I told them before.
Starting point is 00:30:36 It's very funny. They need to invest in some single wide trailers and take them out somewhere and have them isolated. And it would be so much better than having to worry about the police being called or anything like that i bet they've got neighborhood somewhere for this next season jet said that i could come and dress up in a gimp suit and run around and tase people yeah that'd be awesome maybe maybe i'll do the hat they talked about doing the diaper idea where everyone has to like fill a diaper or something or just wear a diaper where is it is it in california typically uh no the first season was in delaware or rhode island or something i think that's where sam lives rhode island
Starting point is 00:31:16 it was in ottawa canada oh was it no no i just i don't know um but yeah i was i went on fish tank season one and uh definitely, the swatting and shit was like, we're so, so annoying people just doing that. It was ridiculous. Yeah. I liked your cameo on fish tank. Just like, what was it like going in there? Did it smell as bad as you thought it would?
Starting point is 00:31:36 It was pleasant. It was really nice. I mean, I was like drunk as shit when I was on there, but, uh, they said they were, they were having trouble finding a prostitute to come onto the show. And it was like, dude, why didn't you ask me? I got that wonderful prostitute on within like an hour. Yeah, that big fat bitch. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:53 Jesus Christ. Where do you source a prostitute like that in a pinch? Fiverr. Just any litany of sites. I don't know if i should say them but yeah if you just type in like the escorts in this town and then you just text a bunch of them you can get one to come over but yeah she was actually down to uh to get sexual with airsoft fatty but uh he smelled like such shit that i just you know that's a sad situation dude that was one of the most soul-crushing clips
Starting point is 00:32:22 from the show is like airsoft fatty getting kind of stoked that he's gonna get to do something sexual with this fat prostitute and then her like being diplomatic in like how gently she let him down and it was clearly because of the smell yeah she was nice about it no it's like actually upsetting it was like why did he smell so bad he had shit on his on his britches man he had poop in his britches okay that's that's crazy but he showered problem he showered and then put the same britches on that undoes the whole shower you can't do that that he was like devastated in the bathroom and sam had to like pep talk him and it was just like man, this went so left. Yeah, it was sad instead of
Starting point is 00:33:08 funny. I mean, I didn't know humans would ever do that. I'm baffled. I'm out of words. He smelled terrible to the point where the prostitute wouldn't sleep with him, cleans up, and then he just gets back in his dirty underwear and
Starting point is 00:33:24 just look at him. Oh, man. Hard enough to feel bad for that guy. Man, he's so poorly shaped. Some people are in bad shape, but he is shaped badly. That fall is probably the hardest I've
Starting point is 00:33:40 laughed in the last year. Watching the little stutter step fall and then the yugioh boxes go flying and he he tumbles down like i've never seen someone fall so brutally in such a slow motion way what's the opposite of pigeon toad when your feet are pointed outwards owl footed i forget but anyway yeah he walks with his toes pointed outwards and it seemed to make steps not tenable for him i don't know he's like a big fucked up gumdrop but after he fell on the stairs he could have swore his jaw was broken he was trying to trying to like get medical attention yeah and i remember like he immediately started back up the stairs again and vance was like hold
Starting point is 00:34:19 on to the rail hold on to the please hold on to the rail and he's like just not holding on to the rail just like just took an embarrassing painful look dude when you fall at that weight it's gotta hurt like there's a lot of mass pushing you into the the corners of those stairs and you're not built for recovery either your body how regardless of weight you fall at the same speed that doesn't seem right it just doesn't true but neil degrasse tyson say that shit yeah neil degrasse tyson would be talking about how fucking you know holidays are actually made up and it's like shut up shut the fuck up i hate that guy we should all fight him 4v1 the four of us could take neil degrasse tyson so of us would... I'd distract him by giving bad information
Starting point is 00:35:06 on math and physics, and then you guys could all go in. Yeah, I'll mayonnaise him. Woody can put him in a hill, and Kyle can shoot him. I don't think you should mayonnaise a black person. That could be seen as a hate crime. Reverse racism. It's white-facing them.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Yeah, he's the racist. I stand by what I said. You're ghosting by what i said ghosting i was saying the other day like that's one of the slurs they call us they always reference mayonnaise uh they call us really mayo monkeys and stuff like that yeah mayos stuff like that and apparently i had a date i've always been a cracker i saw some black girl some black girl on twitter said uh some stupid ass thing like today. It was a video of white people doing something like hiking. And they were like, oh, today it's cloudy with a chance of colonization.
Starting point is 00:35:53 I'm like, what the fuck? Shit is that? Yeah. Like, what are people bullying you off of hiking trails? Yeah. Like, is that what's going on? White people can't hike anymore. Seems like that lady has hate in her heart and she needs to chill out no definitely man yeah i think a lot it seems
Starting point is 00:36:11 like a lot of people have hate in their heart these days we just all need to try to get along better yeah exactly i have zero hate in my heart right kyle i've got so fucking much hate in my heart it's all there's left no i man it's easy to do to feel that way though right like can you can imagine how you would feel if you were any of if you were involved with any of that craziness overseas we're just chilling over here worried about video games and i'm worried baldur's gate's not going to win game of the year that's my main concern right it is a problem you know meanwhile the over there the hooties are shooting ballistic missiles and from outer space at you you know like you could get completely different issues yeah so it's sometimes all you feel thankful is to like see a clip from sudan and be like
Starting point is 00:36:55 damn on the best day here it sucks like that's how you know nobody much better you know it's all hypocrisy no one cares what's going on in the sudan that that whole darfur conflict and the the fucking um that that whole it's a civil war it's what's happening two generals have are splitting the country in half and one of them has most of the land and one and the other has a lot of the armaments and they're having a civil war yeah africa is keeping like the map and globe industry running because you constantly need to buy new ones because they've got a new country with a new general every eight weeks and then that gets dissolved or absorbed into something else you seem to like the stripe of like where the wars are in africa it almost seems like it's climate related i'll look for it and ask zach to post it's fucking hot like they're in a bad mood because
Starting point is 00:37:45 it's so hot yeah yeah right like i am so sick of this weather i know in baltimore there's a lot less aggression in the winter time i'll say that atlanta traffic like on a hot summer day if they're out of their car they're they're gonna kill you you got to be a real piece of shit to be getting violent in Minnesota in February. Who's doing that? That's all war? It's like the whole continent. Internal armed conflict, external armed conflict. Why haven't I heard about this?
Starting point is 00:38:17 If you limit it to coup attempts, it's like a really narrow slice across the middle. Oh, wow. When you limit it to cool tips. I like that South Africa skates by, even though they're probably the worst nation in the continent. What's that country inside of South Africa called? Mozambique or something goofy?
Starting point is 00:38:40 Rhodesia. Rhodesia? I don't think so. I think that was a different one. District 9. I watched District 9 the other day you ever seen that i have i remember it's kind of liking it but i haven't seen it in many years yeah it's pretty good allegory uh for what's going on right now i would say you know it's all about an apartheid state that's made up of those dirty shrimp people from another planet so it's easy to hate them at first but uh you know by the end you your team
Starting point is 00:39:04 shrimp people because the humans are so callous and disgusting hate them at first but uh you know by the end you your team shrimp people because the humans are so callous and disgusting toward them no i totally disagree there you there's no amount of propaganda that's going to make me cool with a shrimp people stir with blades and and pincers on their never had shrimp pussies get out of here i haven't had shrimp that's true maybe maybe if it was really good i'd come around but no but by the end of that movie i'm being kind of look humanish what movie are we talking about i was looking for district nine in africa oh yeah yeah yeah yeah um yeah i turned there's a little shrimp person he's like daddy we are we going to the how many moons does our planet have when are we going home Daddy's like, we can't go home anymore
Starting point is 00:39:45 because that shitty human used all our gasoline or whatever the fuck, and we're going to go to this concentration camp. Look, this might be our tent. It's like, fuck, so sad. But then a heroic South African military guy comes in. A white man steps up big. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:00 Is it white guys in it? Yes, it's the Dracus guy, which is my new favorite. There's the coup attempts. There they are. See the little stripe? That's why I made it. It's like, damn, the hottest little section of the planet, where the equator is.
Starting point is 00:40:11 They're all doing coups. Let's change that country name. Can we all? Probably also the middle one. Yeah. Niger. How do you say it, Taylor? The way they do it on the news is they hit the French part hard.
Starting point is 00:40:24 They're like, Niger. like yeah something like that like it's like uh okay what do you call someone from there i don't even know i don't know but that's how they say it i watch this um it rides her motorcycle and the natives like she called it night what do i call it i forget what she called it but they correct the locals corrected her and said Niger. That's what I'm going by. Yeah. I never once corrected anybody on what to call me because you can't really upset me. Everybody's so goddamn sensitive.
Starting point is 00:40:56 Why does everyone care? What are some mean things you can call a Nigerian? I don't think people really care anymore. I think the whole identity politics thing might go by the wayside. I think there's enough real problems. I think that that came from a time when we didn't have any real problems. And now there's
Starting point is 00:41:10 real problems, and we'll start focusing on those again. Probably not. What if they called you a cauliflower conqueror or a chalk chimp? Damn, that's... That first one is cool. No, really? I prefer chalk chimp. I, that's okay. That first one is cool. No, really? I like, I
Starting point is 00:41:25 prefer Chalkchimp. Oh, no. I can be the cauliflower conqueror. That's a gamer tag. These would all be really good names for YouTube channels. All this stuff. Yeah. Dandruff demons. Desaturated donkeys. Is dandruff unique to white people? Some black
Starting point is 00:41:41 girl put like a big list of mean things you can call white people and it's just like I just owned her because i love it it's so good it literally made me happy for days marshmallow manipulators no that's too many that's too many that makes me feel fat yeah kind of a concessions liebless lieutenants i mean come on that's i mean ending it with lieutenant or general or conqueror is cool yeah like being a conqueror rules like that's cool you don't go alexander the great that guy conquered yeah right yeah you're right he was all their insults were subservient to white people like i don't know what's she gonna call us like wealthy whites or something like oh no it hurts yeah they're not like that those weren't even mean those were just like somewhat complimentary dumb yeah yeah mayo monkey who gives a fuck i think she's really smart i'm upset i love
Starting point is 00:42:36 mayonnaise it's a wonderful condiment i don't like mayonnaise so i don't really like it yeah i really do like mayonnaise it's fucking tasty man or chicken sandwich spicy chicken sandwich or something i'm not a mayo boy either brandon i don't care for it it's just empty calories good stuff well it is empty calories i'm on you there i'm not saying it's not empty calories is that something we're against the sandwiches are a thousand times better with a little mayo in there with that without mayo the sandwich is dry and yucky. I'm not huge on condiments a lot of the time. If I have a burger, I don't really want... I'd rather have lettuce, tomato, onion,
Starting point is 00:43:14 pickles, the food on there, not really mayonnaise. No, those aren't condiments. Those are vegetables. Tomato? Yeah, those are toppings. Is that what you'd say? Yeah. Okay. Toppings. Is that what you'd say? Yeah. Toppings. Is that what you'd say? I don't eat burgers all the time.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Yeah, not my culture. I want some mayonnaise in there and I want some mustard in there. I don't want ketchup usually at all though. People that put ketchup on hot dogs upset me. I'll straight up judge you. What do you put on your hot dog that you're Mr. fucking high horse over here? Ketchup's just a no-no. Usually I put mustard and raw onions on there.
Starting point is 00:43:49 Mustard and relish over here. Are you also racist against mustard? I like yellow mustard, but spicy mustard's fine. You wouldn't want a Dijon or anything. That's kind of weird. I do like those dogs we had up in Seattle, maybe.
Starting point is 00:44:04 They had cream cheese on them and some other shit. That was actually good. That was pretty fucking good. We were drunk, though, so who knows? Yeah, the cream cheese on a hot dog. That is such a Seattle thing. Late 83 of those hot dogs.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Those fucking cunts. Late 83 of those hot dogs, and then carried White Boy another two miles. It was one of the greatest physical feats I'd ever seen. He had to feel a lot. As drunk as he was how long has it been since you guys have gotten together and done like an irl podcast oh man podcast forever i have not seen woody in person in a decade and i haven't uh kyle and i hung out what was it like what year did year did Atlanta lose the Super Bowl? 2018?
Starting point is 00:44:46 2017? So it'd be like six years. That was an upsetting year. Yeah. It's been a while. That was an upsetting year. I feel like you guys did a Colorado trip more recently than that. Maybe I'm wrong.
Starting point is 00:44:56 That was the Colorado trip. He wasn't there, though. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I didn't make it to that one. I had a work thing. That was... We should do it again.
Starting point is 00:45:04 Yeah, that'd be rad to Yeah. That'd be fun. Associates, uh, over in Colorado. I, we, we thought we had picked a good Airbnb out, but I really did not like that place.
Starting point is 00:45:13 We stayed in. I really, I thought it was amazing. Well, the TV was amazing. And so that's what I really focused on. I got hyper focused on wanting like a, an entertainment entertainment center,
Starting point is 00:45:25 like a whole media room, I should say. And once I found a nice house that had one, I don't know, it had rose-colored glasses for everything else about the house, and it wasn't great. Dude, Kyle's a brutal guy to go on a trip somewhere with in that you'll be like, hey, you want to go get dinner somewhere?
Starting point is 00:45:44 And he'll be like hey you want to go get dinner somewhere and he'll be like no and it's like but we've door dashed every meal can we go somewhere other than the dispensary please and he's like you can and it's like well like we gotta like just just like and and i i feel like a girl like because you know it's usually the girl like responsibility on vacation as you're trying to sit on the beach and read and they have to cram all these activities into it that you don't want to do as much and i felt like that on the trip with you where i'd be like hey kyle chiz let's go let's go to this steak you make him you want to i'll go with you taylor let's go skiing let's go to kyle's house yes should we tell him or no
Starting point is 00:46:23 you guys should invite every guest of the year to kyle's house Yes. Should we tell him or no? No. You guys should invite every guest of the year to Kyle's house. I'm going to invite Boogie to Kyle's house. Woody's is the one on Google. Let's go there. Woody does have the most rooms. Tell me though, I want to clean up. It's mostly because with the Colorado trips, it's oftentimes
Starting point is 00:46:41 like a weedcation for me. Especially the Atlanta one, there was no weed in Georgia, right? You know, not illegal weed. We've got Delta eight or whatever now and our wonderful sponsors. But back then I was like, I'm here to get high. I'm here to get high all week. And, you know, I got my girlfriend with me. I'm not going out looking for girls.
Starting point is 00:47:00 The food we were having to live was delicious. I like that place we're in. I wasn't I've been to Denver before. I'm not exploring. I went to the zoo one time. I'm not exploring that place. I'm here to smoke. North Carolina lost its Delta 8.
Starting point is 00:47:12 It's fucking ridiculous. Really? That's fascism. One of the fucking Democrat people in the House of Rep became Republican, and now they have a veto-proof majority, and they pass every fucking Republican-wet dream. And one of them was to ban anything THC-related. Damn.
Starting point is 00:47:29 So they're like one of the few totally illegal states then? No. In theory, there are hoops you can jump through, but basically every place that sells it now doesn't. That's so lame. That's stupid. That's that's a losing this stuff is great it's uh you know get you real fucking high and uh and i love it no if we we could do a trip i'll tell you what i would rather do though um because you're right sitting in a room and
Starting point is 00:47:57 smoking weed is is not like a great like destination event it was for me though it gets old yeah an activity i i'd want to do an activity that that um i've always wanted to do something fishing related and you know every time we come around to this we this is such a circular conversation piece because then we go to woody getting sick on boats and the drama man and then we go to the story about him getting sick on the boat that time and the guy being rude about it fly fishing boom you're standing on the ground it's very active and so if you're against like the whole i don't want to sit there and fish with a bobber just staring at it you got waders on i fly fished once in my life
Starting point is 00:48:34 and it was a bunch of fun i hate that i'll see a go-kart racing i'd do that i'm not i'm not completely against that but you know that's like an hour, right? You could go catfish noodling. It occupies the middle of the day. You could go noodling. Tell you what I enjoyed. Tell you what I enjoyed that one time when you, Chiz, and I went on our little trip, and we had like three things to do because we were at a place that did three things. There was like whitewater rafting, ziplining.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Oh, yeah, yeah. I think there was a third thing. I don't remember it. I can't recall it either. That was a fun little time. I really enjoyed ziplining. I don't know. We got to meet all those new people. I found them to be interesting and fun to hang out
Starting point is 00:49:14 with. Ziplining is fun. I found it to be scary. There were parts of it that frightened me, especially when it started raining and we had that big gorge to cross. I like ziplining. The rain didn't scare me. The stuff that scared me the most was it started raining and we had that big gorge to cross. But yeah, I liked ziplining. The rain didn't scare me. The stuff that scared me the most was the things I did on purpose.
Starting point is 00:49:31 I'll make up a number, 95 feet in a tree, and your harness is clipped in and everything. But if you want, you can put your feet on the edge of the stand and fall backwards and just be supported by it. That was the shit that scared me. That was a moment. Have you... I've never bow hunted. You'd have to teach me the whole
Starting point is 00:49:50 thing. Or I could bring a gun and just alpha. Is it okay if I never stop talking during the bow hunting? 100%. I think it would be easier for you to teach me to shoot a hockey puck on the ice than it would be for me to teach me to shoot a hockey puck on the ice than it would be for me to teach you to be a deer hunter.
Starting point is 00:50:08 It's so fucking hard. It was years of training. It was my entire childhood. I'm not going there to be an ace hunter. I'm just trying to think of an activity you would agree to. Deer hunting with a bow is so upsetting to do. And that's not a fun thing to do. That's us sitting in silence 30 yards apart apart looking at each other occasionally and nodding and of course modern
Starting point is 00:50:29 days we have a cell phone when i was a kid we sat there and you guys are gonna be like woody stop snoring he has to pop a perk 30 just call he's asleep up in his heart out one thing i've never done it but I always wanted to try to kill a bow with a recurve bow. I'd kill a deer with a recurve bow, I should say, because I always used a compound bow, obviously. Is a recurve like what Legolas had? Yes.
Starting point is 00:50:56 Yeah, when you pull it back, you're still holding all the weight. That's the main thing. With a compound bow, you're holding like 15% of the total draw weight when you get back here and get the lead off. It's a lot easier. It's more like a gun. Compound bows are like guns. They're so fucking accurate.
Starting point is 00:51:14 I could miss. You could miss. The bow won't miss. What activity would you be down with? What activity in Kyle's mind goes, that would be fun as a group. Oh,
Starting point is 00:51:27 I'd have to give it some thought. Not sitting. I'm baffled that outdoor go-kart racing didn't just be like, yeah, that's amazing idea. That would be more things like that. But it's like, that's like 40 minutes of activity.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Yeah. I mean, we've done that on a trip. We, you know, and I mean, eventually your, your forearms are blown out,
Starting point is 00:51:44 right? And you're just like all right that's all the driving i can do today i remember like when uh taylor and i and chis did the racing after like an hour of driving and just fucking controlling that thing it's like man i'm done i'm done my forearms hurt dude chis was mad at me i rear-ended him hard like three times throughout the day and yeah those were like 50 plus mile an hour go-karts yeah his neck wasn't feeling good afterward my neck wasn't feeling good afterward like i i really it had never occurred to me that you could do go-karting where you didn't floor it the
Starting point is 00:52:18 whole time like i said it was like a real collision i i felt bad for everyone involved and was glad that i wasn't there. My girlfriend started crying. Dude, the guy pulled me aside or gave me a correction. The guy who worked there, as I came around that bend, after the second time, I smashed into Chiz's thing because he wasn't even flooring it. He was being a bitch. And the employee was like, hey, slow it down.
Starting point is 00:52:43 And it was like I paid for this. Why didn't you go around him,lor like if you're that much faster i was out of control i was i was going around the corner flooring it and i it like did that like like they were skipping across and i just slammed into him and like the second time it happened chis did that thing where like someone turns at you like rapidly in anger like like he was so mad that i hit because i hit him like i saw his neck snap back like i hit him hard i was going 50 miles an hour like it was you probably didn't see it coming no i didn't see it coming i really i overestimated my own spryness on the track.
Starting point is 00:53:25 I thought I'd be better at... That's the place we went back to when we went three years ago back, or whenever I got out of prison. I was like... Or when I got off probation, I was like, let's go go karting. We went to the same place. And it is. It's real intense. Those things are fast.
Starting point is 00:53:41 Next day, jet skiing. Jet skiing? Yeah. Oh, I'm so down to jet ski. I would love to go jet skiing. When's the last time you jet skied, Brandon? I have a lake house. My Uncle Mel has a lake house in Smithmont Lake, Virginia, so I was just jet skiing probably two months ago, man.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Living the dream. What kind of jet ski was it? Fuck, dude. I don't even... I have no idea. I think it was a C-Doo. C-Doo. Okay, so you sat down. You can just say like a red one. Yeah, it's a sit-down one.
Starting point is 00:54:08 I want to get one of the stand-up ones you can do backflips with. That'd be so fucking cool. That's what I had growing up. I want to go fast. Yeah. Yeah, mine goes like 58 miles an hour where your eyes are just like watering. Oh, my God. It's so good.
Starting point is 00:54:19 That's so fast. On the water, that feels like 100. Yeah, you hit a wave. You're just like, boom. You guys know that's really fast yeah you know an activity that would be fun is uh a water jet pack one of those things that you you hold on to the remotes and you can kind of steer yourself over the lake you rent those or like get like rent you can steal them i thought you stood on them and like the jet
Starting point is 00:54:43 stream i know the kind you're thinking like dr octopus you've like the jet stream came out of your feet you're like Dr. Octopus you've got water coming out of your hands water coming out of your butt right not your actual asshole but you know like on your back like a jet pack you can get the butt mod if you want Kyle you can get any kind of mods you want
Starting point is 00:54:59 anybody can go in you bring anything I would do that you always do I wonder if that's one of those activities though that after like three minutes you're like i get it like i did i did that with a parasailing parasailing that's when you're attached to the boat right that's scary yeah i did parasailing when i was like 12 or something and i remember being like nervous about it and then i got up to the the top height because the the like jamaican or dominican guy like was feeding the line out and after just a couple
Starting point is 00:55:32 minutes like like literally two minutes it's like all right i got i'm full i'm all full up of this like i don't think we're going to suddenly start going faster this is this is the whole thing so i do that of course i didn't even do it this year but that acrobatic flying over the lake in georgia and uh you use a boat to tow it about 5 000 feet in the air on a really good tow and uh and then you do your acrobatics on the way down and you land on the beach cool other people like locals would be like yeah i went parasailing in key west and it's like it is not the same thing that's not what we're doing here don't you compare this to parasailing you dig
Starting point is 00:56:10 no it was just parasailing yeah how does it tell you to five that maybe i misunderstood the boat pulls you and you've got to shoot on you right right? You get up to 5,000 feet of altitude? No. I mean, call it 3,000. You get anywhere near that? Oh, yeah. 3,000 is not that good a tow.
Starting point is 00:56:36 A really good tow is like 4,000, and the line is like 6,500 feet long, something like that. You've got to describe this line to me because I'm fascinated by the line itself. It's the most interesting thing about all of this. It's really strong. It's some super high-tech material uh it's doesn't tend to rot i shit you want to look up what the line is there a guy on the ground who's like got you on the other other end of like a yeah so the boat is the strongest man on the island just the boat has a winch attached to it and the boat will go like 40 miles an hour but the line is letting out at like 25 at like 25 miles an hour so he's pulling like you on the wing are going like 30 something the boat's going 40
Starting point is 00:57:14 something the line's letting out making up the difference and i have no idea that's what you've been doing he does a lap around like you know like a mile diameter and uh and then you sort of follow where the boat was the line gets so long you're going where the boat was like 10 minutes ago the boat's going sideways now and i'm still going straight waiting to make my turn aren't you ever what happened if the line just like got cut oh that happens all the fucking time line constantly if you're low then you land in the water and you're kind of fucked i well imagine you're at 3 000 feet oh if you're at 3 000 feet now you've got fucking work to do you need to fly this line to some location where it's less likely
Starting point is 00:57:59 to cause problems you might be able to drop it on the LZ, the landing zone, or maybe I just take it to a part of the lake that I think boats are less inclined to run over it. And then I let it go there and land back, you know, hopefully where I started. So you're going to land in the water, like splash down and they're going to pick you up in the boat, presumably. I hope to avoid that. If it's a 3000 feet, I shouldn't be landing in the water. That's enough altitude for me. Oh, you're going to fly back home with that. I'm going to take the line somewhere, handle my responsibilities so that the, whoever needs to fix this line doesn't find it to be like a big piece of
Starting point is 00:58:32 shit. Boats come, you know, run around there all the time. They'll slice your line. Now you got three breaks. Now you got four breaks. Like the problems are getting worse. Maybe they get like wrapped around like a, like a skier's neck. Turns out people get really mad at you when you hook their outboard engine and they blame me because it's my fault.
Starting point is 00:58:51 You cut my girlfriend in half. Yeah, so you fly, you drop the line in a good spot, and then you handle landing. That's what happens if the line breaks up high. I mean, I am in a flying apparatus. It's not a problem if I stop getting towed. That's true.
Starting point is 00:59:07 Oh, you got the paramotor wrong. No, no, no. It's a paraglider. So they tow me up. What happens normally, the whole goal over the lake is to get towed up to like 3,500, 4,000 feet. And then I have this special kind of knot that I can undo under tension. And then I fly on my own while they pull the line in. Then I have this special kind of knot that I can undo under tension. Then I fly on my own while they pull the line in.
Starting point is 00:59:32 If the line breaks, I have to handle the line for them. I was going to ask you, Taylor, if you have any interest in doing any things above the earth with Woody, but I'm going to be honest. I am afraid of jumping out of that airplane. I have not done that. It does frighten me. I would be willing to do it if it were required for something. But I'm not looking to just go do it. You know what I mean? I don't want to jump out of a plane. That would scare me a lot.
Starting point is 00:59:56 If there's something tying me to something else, I'll go real high. That will give me a sense of security. And I fully understand like my hands are getting like a little clammy thinking about like being up there and hearing the loud whipping of the air and then some guy do i imagine like bullying me like it's time to jump pussy you're gonna go yeah the light is red yeah wake up and there there'd be some 11-year-old girl that did it in front of me and was laughing and having a good time.
Starting point is 01:00:30 I'm openly weeping. Have you been skydiving, Brandon? I wouldn't do it, dude. I'd rather do fucking crack. I'd rather try crack. There's just no way. I really thought I was going to be the only one here who's afraid of it. I think I would try my hand at one dose of crack and then try and cut it.
Starting point is 01:00:45 What is the big problem? Because it's scary. I'm like heights. I'm about to do an MMA fight. I would never jump out of a plane. There's just no way. Another influencer boxing. I know I've told you two before.
Starting point is 01:00:56 It might be news to Brandon. You have two options. You can either take an all-day course, and then when you jump out, you're going to have two instructors holding your leg and your shoulder, elbow, or something. they'll make sure that you're straight. They'll tell you when to pull it, but you're kind of solo aside from having all these people holding you. The other way to do it is baby Bjorn style. That's what I did. And there's no all day training on
Starting point is 01:01:19 that. They just take care of you like your baby. baby. I'm standing there, and they have me stand in front of this outfit I need to put on, and they're just like, all right, put your foot here, put your foot here. And unbeknownst to me, now I'm getting dressed. I walked into the place where you do the jumping, and like seven and a half minutes later, the plane is taking off. It's all going so quickly. They're teaching me how to slide out of the plane is taking off it's all going so quickly they're teaching me it's too fast they're teaching me how to get out of the plane on the flight up there was no ground
Starting point is 01:01:51 training there's zero ground training they taught me how to land at about a hundred feet i would be like i can tell you what i would be thinking like i on that plane ride up i would be thinking of any lie i could grasp to about why I couldn't do it. I have a heart condition. Which one? That's private. That's personal. I can't tell you about it.
Starting point is 01:02:14 Well, you're strapped to someone or someone strapped to you in that case? Either way. Yeah. So I'm the girl in this doggy style jump we're doing and I'm strapped to them. Yeah. I'd do it if i could be face to face with yeah with a hot babe some breastfeeding in there dude if they choose feeding special i would do it i want to look at his strong eyes and know so like you and your four buddies roll up and they
Starting point is 01:02:36 have a bunch of uh tandem jumpers who you're going to strap to and they assign everyone by size yeah okay so you don't have to pick your guy. I've agreed to do it technically. We do deals where it's like, and one of the ideas would be to have a plane. Dude. It's just that I am very afraid of it, just to be clear. I don't want to be wings talking about a survival trip. Okay, yeah, right. I'm very afraid of it, want to be wings like talking about a survival trip like okay yeah right very afraid
Starting point is 01:03:05 of it just to be clear but if there was money to be made at jumping out of it i can go to another i can like flip a switch where i'm like all right this is now it's about work ethic and not about that other thing and then i can get it done if it about work ethic, or if it's about if I've agreed to do a thing, then I can just sort of flip that switch that says, there is no option B, and I can just do something awful. But I would be very upset. I would be the quiet
Starting point is 01:03:36 one. You would be like, are you sure you're okay? I just need to sit here and be quiet, pretend like what's about to happen isn't about to happen. I would love that it happens like lickety split, like you're on the ground and eight minutes later you're, alright, red light,
Starting point is 01:03:51 let's go. I would like that about it. We should totally do it. It'd be fun. Well, what I'm saying is I don't want to do it. My hands are sweaty. Kyle, we can veto this. I don't want to do this. I wouldn't do it. How much money to do it, Kyle? What's enticing?
Starting point is 01:04:07 Like 10. It would take 10. I'll give you 10 bucks. It would take 10. I'll give you 20. Because you'll have to come up with the other 140. You'd do it for $10,000, right, Taylor? 10 grand?
Starting point is 01:04:20 Jump out of a plane? And I'm strapped in like a baby to a capable, strong man. Yeah, 10 grand, I would do it. Yeah, see, that's like a number where you can like... Like, 5,000 is a lot of money. Don't get me wrong, I suppose. I'd be so scared. You can't make a thing happen with 5,000 dollars.
Starting point is 01:04:36 10 grand, I would do it with no training. I could do that. I would do PEDs. I would do Xanax, and then I would do it. I'd do it with no training for 10 grand, too. Just dose yourself up on benzos. I genuinely i genuinely now unless i have to fold the parachute that i i want to watch the you know how you always talk about when you're getting an iv put in you're like hey bring me the old nurse who's got hands that are like like fucking steel bring me the that gal
Starting point is 01:04:59 who could put it into one shot no surprises yeah a japanese origami master to fucking pack my parachute and fold it just right i want a guy who's done it so many times he's like on his phone sports betting on the way up there no you focus and attention you're not gonna like this but the person who packs the parachutes is the lowest man on the totem pole no they're called dirty packers they have hygiene issues their lives are not together that's what dirty packers means yeah yeah they're called dirty packers they have hygiene issues their lives are not together that's what dirty packers means yeah yeah they're dirty packers and they just do it all the time and uh they probably haven't washed i would rather do brandon and do you agree like i would i'm much more scared of jumping out of a plane than i am like scuba diving and going into the deep
Starting point is 01:05:42 yeah i'll go on the deep more i mean I don't want to go in the deep, but I would go in the deep before I jumped out of a plane. I would pick that over a plane 100%. I think it's unfair to just be vague about the deep. You've got to describe as a particularly scary kind of diving. Deep enough that you're wearing the real stuff. Shark diving is the equivalent. Shark diving without a cage is the equivalent.
Starting point is 01:06:02 What kind of sharks? Like nurse sharks? Sharks that'll bite your hand off if you don't get out of the way quickly enough. I would do it if I was in a... I need to be in a... We need to be in like a big group, not just the three of us. Actually, you know what? I bet I can out...
Starting point is 01:06:16 I think I could out-swim you, Kyle. Oh, you could definitely out-swim me. I was like, where is this going? I thought you were going to claim you could out-swim a shark. No, I can't out-swim Woody or a shark, i can't out swim woody or a shark but i can out swim kyle i'm like i'm kicking kyle on the nose trying to get it to bleed my respirator is like yeah all this stuff is scary i don't know if scuba diving scary but but the like i just i didn't want to act like i wasn't scared skydiving like i totally was
Starting point is 01:06:41 what about the submarine that like that you were scared everyone oh i submarine i like yeah i would not go on a bootleg bullshit tech bro xbox controller sub i would have gone but i'd go on i'd go on a real submarine that guy uh doesn't that guy who invented minecraft the accident i would have said yes which accident i can't i can't keep catch up again the submarine accident oh that yeah yeah but like no if you you would have seen that thing and been like bullshit but if it was uh that guy i think it's the minecraft guy the guy who invented minecraft has that really crazy one right that's like a you see you see a picture of his submarine and he's like james cameron maybe okay james cameron they both have aquatic craft when you when you're nerdy and rich enough, you get yourself a submarine.
Starting point is 01:07:25 I think it's Gabe Newell that has it, actually. Gabe Newell. He's the guy who has the record in every sea for the deepest seaman. Yeah, the dude's fucking Jacques Cousteau. Seven seas of the earth. I would get on his without a second thought, because it looks like a real submarine.
Starting point is 01:07:41 I would be too stupid to know the difference. Imagine, again again the accident hasn't happened yet and they're like hey kyle we're going in one of those deep sea submersibles i wouldn't question whether yours is the you wouldn't question it when they hand you the mad cats controller they're not gonna hand it to me and honestly i they use they use xbox controllers and nuclear submarines you know like they do not use wireless Mad Catz controllers on refugee batteries at least like like an extra couple double a's or do you just pop them out of his remote in the morning on the way to work yeah he's got like like two like you just kind of like bounced him on his never do that all right let's game some more out of the back of the fucking
Starting point is 01:08:32 remote took him out of a vibrator yeah i wouldn't get one of those things gabe newell's looks like a big fucking uh just wreck white rectangle yeah put up uh gabe newell's sub did you show a picture of gabe newell zach but then you showed a picture of the bullshit you know pvc pipe sub that those people died in i'm not getting this fucking thing dude i would i would absolutely get in theirs um that that to me is cooler than going to space like if you go down to the marianas trench and and see some cool life that's literally never been seen before and i'm not they go to the amazon they're like look at this little stick bug it's a centimeter long you're the first human to ever see one i hope i'm the last i'm the last this thing sucks but if you take me down there it's cool that it has a face there for some reason
Starting point is 01:09:17 but if you take me down there and we see like a little you know some skeleton clown fish or some shit or you're getting in that fucking lunchbox, Kyle? 100%. That doesn't scare me at all. That thing looks so... What I see in this picture is a craft where they got so good at making it safe and appropriate, they had time for style. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:09:39 That craft looks surprised. Yeah. This is the point of view of when it goes in subreddit. We're not going to make it. That's what it looks like. A face of shock and fear. It's more of a panel fan myself, but I see it. I agree with you that I would
Starting point is 01:09:56 rather go down into the sea and see something cool than go to space. You're not going to see anything in space. No critters. I take it back. I it back i'm just like the blackness of space and then the plan i agree with the no critters but you can see stars in a way that you can't on earth i want to see the earth i want to look back at that's i think that i would rather all right we're in space you have two windows you can only look out of one of them for 30 minutes then we're going home one of them faces out toward the blackness of space with
Starting point is 01:10:23 all the pretty stars and the other is earth like i'm staring at earth the whole time because that's the cool thing to me no how about this if you go that compared to being in a sub and they guarantee you you're going to get to see a bunch of deep sea life it's not like i hope we find something they're like there's a pocket of the farthest deep sea down fish i i bet that the amount of money that you have to pay Gabe or whoever has one of those to actually go down there is reasonable. You know, hundreds of thousands,
Starting point is 01:10:50 but I, back in the day you had to pay the Russians like $10 million to go up on, um, that. So use capsule bullshit. So I, I just think it's a, it's a real treat to go to space.
Starting point is 01:11:01 That's a, that's what I would want to do. Plus I'm a star Trek nerd. So I would, I would have a fucking uniform under my shirt you know i don't think space is gonna be that exciting after after the first couple minutes you're gonna be the weightlessness i think would be would be very interesting i wouldn't want to spend a long time there because when i hear about like just going to the bathroom seems so awful and you're just in the atrophy everybody the farts the the you know the there's just the the stink of it all we haven't no one's getting a bath up there not a real one
Starting point is 01:11:31 i would and i hate that there's so many lady astronauts the smell must be just gruesome didn't you know who i would take up there i learned yeah women smell way worse they got all sorts of hygiene issues like dude smell yeah um women can rot from the inside out um if you if you leave them to their own devices the japanese on the other hand so maintaining their how does this connect i'm so curious i don't want to talk about the japanese because this is so that like i think it's i don't know what the percentage is it's like half the japanese people have this gene where they don't get body odor. They don't get BO.
Starting point is 01:12:07 They don't stink when they sweat. They're going to say they're immune to radiation. And so, well, they've proven... No, that's their main vulnerability. When you right-click a Japanese guy, radiation... That's their main vulnerability. Look for his vulnerabilities.
Starting point is 01:12:25 That and dairy. Can't handle it. Can't handle it. All gassy. Alcohol make them all flush in the face. Anyway, half of them don't get BO, so they would pick those guys for the submarine force. You're going to put a bunch of dudes in a can. They're not going to be bathing at all. You want the guys that don't stink.
Starting point is 01:12:42 I don't think there's one Italian or Greek guy on Earth who has that gene i think i think that they are all how about wherever the japanese dropped that gene off the italians and greeks found it oh kyle you you your sound cut out bud damn yeah i went to japan in february Did you know that Japan has women-only public transportation because of the gropings that happen? I heard about that. Yeah, that's on me. I went to Japan a few years ago.
Starting point is 01:13:13 To help yourself? Yeah. Groper. How long does that have to go on for them to just finally make a woman's only car? They have decades. I don't know. They also have like japanese only
Starting point is 01:13:25 um businesses and stuff which i thought was cool getting refused because i was white i thought that i was i like that i like the national pride that'd be kind of fun it'd be like wow these guys are fucking serious they're not gonna serve me raw fish and you know what more more power to you i think it's korea it's one of those countries but i know that the the phones you cannot silence them when they take a picture so for guys upskirting is such a problem that you they made it so you could not disable the ka-chunk click sound when you take a picture because dudes are upskirting chicks like so much they're like hey you can't turn that noise off anymore i actually make it louder now i have to time my sneezes getting nuked really ruins you like i think that's south korea into a whole country of weirdos so i want to know about you got turned away from a sushi restaurant because you were white and
Starting point is 01:14:17 they're like no we do not deserve your kind yeah they were like no sushi fish uh yeah the restaurants and like various stores would be like, no foreigners, which I thought was pretty badass. I also went to this place called, in the Nishinari Ward. I didn't think that Japan had homeless bums, but there's an entire little town of Japanese people that are drunk at 9 in the morning, pissing and shitting in the street, vomiting and smelling horrible. It was cool. I filmed there. That ruins my perception of the Japanese. like vomiting and what smelling horrible and it was uh it was cool i fell in there that would ruin that that ruins my perception of the japanese i don't imagine them as like having
Starting point is 01:14:50 a new orleans outlook it's gonna be groundbreaking when i drop it it's like the dirtiest place in japan yeah like a dude was jerking his dick in the street it was oh my god do you think if you uh you previewed it for like the the bureau of japanese tourism or some shit you can get them to pay you off like hey this i'm actually this is i'm selling this documentary here's a taste of it pretend like your video is a sizzle reel i know you've got like you've got like two solid hours of this and be like i'm i'm actually like shopping it on the market right now you could be the you could be the owners and it'd go nowhere forever for yeah hefty price of blah catch and kill story is what they call that in the biz yeah i was shocked to see it they have vending machines where you can
Starting point is 01:15:28 get uh what's like the rice liquor stuff that's sake sake you can get like sake uh one cup of sake and there's no you don't need an id or anything it's just unlimited vending machines of liquor people getting fucked up uh it was just like a little plastic cup with the this the lid you peel off the top? Yeah, like a mini jar. Jesus Christ. That's kind of cool. I like the exploration of vending machine options. Yeah, a guy was boiling a turtle at 10 in the morning,
Starting point is 01:15:54 just boiling a live turtle. I don't like that. It was alive while it was boiling? Yeah. I have my doubts about it being alive. I have a video of it. It's moving. His head was...
Starting point is 01:16:05 Really? And it was in boiling water? Yeah. It takes a while for the boiling water to kill it. That's the whole thing. I think I'd die pretty quickly in boiling water. You think you would? I definitely would.
Starting point is 01:16:16 There are several historical... As I think about it, what kills me? Not pain. So what am I... Shit. What kills you what kills me? Not pain. What am I... What kills you with boiling water? The water. Heat kills you slowly. That would be a horrible way to go.
Starting point is 01:16:33 How much water is in there? Is that me? Enough to put a person in. That's not an answer at all. The cauldron is what you need. The size of the cauldron is important for getting a person into it, but then how much water do you allow a person before you throw them in it? Are you boiling eight inches of water
Starting point is 01:16:50 or two feet of water? No, it's whatever the recipe calls for. The recipe? Are we going to eat them? You know George H.W. Bush was shot down during World War II over a Japanese island while he was bombing it? I did not know. I think he's the last president to have served in a war.
Starting point is 01:17:06 Yeah. He, uh, he bombed this radio tower on an Island. Uh, his plane was badly damaged by AA fire. Uh, and as he's heading back toward his aircraft carrier,
Starting point is 01:17:15 he goes down in the ocean and he's out there treading water. Uh, he parachutes in, uh, and for four hours or something, at least fighters have to circle above him and fight off japanese guys and boats who are trying to go out and capture him they captured at least four americans and they ate them oh fuck yeah dude they ate them it's like i love the japanese
Starting point is 01:17:37 spirit it's like historically recorded the whole thing about how like wasn't until 2003 that they told George H.W. Bush hey, that island is where they cut the guy's livers out and the Japanese officers feasted on them. So, they narrowly escaped being cannibalized, our great president and future
Starting point is 01:17:59 head of the CIA. Yeah, well, damn. Shame they didn't get him. Kennedy could have gone on and had a great presidency had the Japanese just been a little quicker back then. I want to know about this. So is it like a point of shame
Starting point is 01:18:19 for the Japanese people that this mini New Orleans exists and they're like, that doesn't represent us? Or is it like a place where a lot of them go to cut loose uh i think it's like where all the impoverished just alcoholics go for like low-income housing but i had a translator but there's such a fucking language barrier that i really had a hard time even communicating with my translator but i don't it didn't seem like they were ashamed of it i was even in um osaka and i saw a man urinate in the street on camera i have it oh that's in the middle of osaka right outside of
Starting point is 01:18:49 don quixote whenever i see videos of people shitting in the street on like cctv or whatever they're often asian men yeah street and and i don't i don't point fingers or judge cultures i i just always assumed it was a it was the diet that they had there that was causing them all to poop themselves. But you're telling me that this group of people might just be more prone to pooping in the street. Yeah, you hear Japan's clean. I don't know. It was pretty wild when I was there. No, but the streets are really clean and safe and nice.
Starting point is 01:19:19 You guys have heard of Japanese onsens, right? The bathhouses? The non-homoerotic bathhouses? I have not heard of these onsens. They're like everywhere where you can just bathe with a bunch of japanese men but if you have tattoos you're not allowed in which is pretty awesome i think do you not have any tattoos no tattoos no piercings okay same keeping your body pure it's a temple you do you have somebody for the lord you're a you couldn't be allowed in the onsen. You're a gang member. You're a thug. You're a criminal. If they saw his tattoo, they'd be like,
Starting point is 01:19:54 You are either in the gayest gang of all time or you're fine. There's also swastikas everywhere in Japan because I guess it's like a Buddhist symbol. Just swastikas all around. We got a friend. My wife and I got matching tattoos. Oh, that's sweet. You got to bring her too.
Starting point is 01:20:07 Or no, you couldn't bring her. She'd be part of your gang. They'd kick you out. Yeah, right. It'd be evidence. I know our friend that was stationed in Japan. He's got lots of tattoos on his arms. I know that that was a whole thing.
Starting point is 01:20:20 I guess the Yakuza are the people who usually have tattoos, huh? Yeah. Dude, I did a video searching for the Yakuza. Couldn't find them anywhere. I was looking up online where their headquarters are and was looking around asking. They're very covert, not like the gangs in America at all. You know the fighter Rampage Jackson?
Starting point is 01:20:36 He's the one who had that huge slam knockout back in the day. Was it Cato Arona or something? Yeah, against Ricardo Arona. After he did that, he got invited to meet the Yakuza. He goes into his back room. He's like, there's a bunch of Japanese dudes back there playing video games and smoking weed. They was real hyped on me.
Starting point is 01:20:55 They liked me a lot. And they said, the boss man's coming. And this big dude come out. Must have been seven feet tall. Biggest Japanese man I've ever seen in my life covered in tattoos. He wanted me to do a clothing line with him.
Starting point is 01:21:08 I really should have took that money. I love those stories. I'm glad that you get guys like that on podcasts and you get those ridiculous stories like that. You know what's shocking for me? In the Don Quixotes, they had gigantic posters of
Starting point is 01:21:24 Bob Sapp, of all people. Oh, yeah. Isn't he huge in for me scared so we didn't take the money in the don quixotes they had gigantic posters of bob sap of all people oh yeah yeah isn't he huge like exhibition matches over there i guess he's like a star no i had no idea don't call them that unless you want a taste of bob sap for 48 seconds what he does and this is this is legit what he does he like, I'll go as hard as I can go for a minute, two minutes, three minutes. Whatever I got, I'll give you every ounce I got. The minute they hit me and it hurts, I'm dropping like a bag of shit. If they hit
Starting point is 01:21:54 me and it hurts, I'm done. Because he's just like us, big or not, it hurts to get punched in the face. It hurts so much. I don't know specifically his wins and losses. I know he's had some real beatings over the years, but he hasn't taken a real beating in probably a decade and a half
Starting point is 01:22:13 because he does what I just described, right? He comes out like a monster. He won one not long ago. He's got a lot of losses. Does he look like that anymore? Because he's got to be 50 he didn't he didn't get shorter you know and he didn't get obese so like he still looks terrifying to me okay i haven't seen him in five probably a couple years last time i saw something it was because he won
Starting point is 01:22:36 came out and starched the guy um but you know like i said he comes out like a fucking bull in a china shop which apparently isn't real they'll just a bull will just delicately walk around china if you put them in a china shop myth busters but um he comes out like a like a um i don't be racist here he comes out real violently for uh for as long as he's got yes they look at him i mean god damn jesus that's recently queer passing there a little bit is Is that Mike Tyson on the left? Yeah, I don't know why that's Tyson. What the fuck is Mike Tyson doing? Vax said he's being ducked by Tyson right now.
Starting point is 01:23:12 Really? I think Tyson gets him. I think Mike Tyson would knock the shit out of him. Why does he look like he wants to fuck me right there? Yeah, he's got... Bob Sapp's got bed rest. I think you're reading the room just fine. It's OnlyFans. That's Bob Sapp's ass i think you're reading the room just fine it's only fans that's bob's apps only fans jesus christ dude i like that he's got only fans steve has put there's like workouts and shit uh i think on only fans i think a lot of male athletes that's
Starting point is 01:23:36 what they do is they they put like non-sexual workout stuff and diet stuff on there yeah he's kind of doing a racist face there what did they record him with i i well anyway um bob sap was always a giant scary man it's it's uh i think he gets paid like a decent amount of money for each of those little crazy fights he does and he does a lot of them he's so obscure in america yeah in america he's like an obscure figure but apparently in japan he's uh huge japan's weird man they have animal cafes where they just have like uh meerkats and otters and shit that are just on fucking benzos that you can hold and they're just like ah that's kind of sad they just have really up and i mean i thought it was cool for my enjoyment but for the fucking meerkats, it's like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 01:24:26 It sounds like they're pretty chill, right? They're getting petted and fed well, and they're on drugs that make you happy. That's my dream come true. Maybe you'll be reincarnated into a benzod up meerkat. I could pick a few better animals to become. I mean, a rich American's dog is probably sick, but a benzod up meerkat
Starting point is 01:24:46 as a close second oh yeah dude dogs are lucky i just got two uh wiener dogs like a few months ago nice i'm jealous of them dude they have it so easy did were those the first two dogs in your house or did you bring them into like you already had another dog uh i had two dogs that died like in back-to-back months, but they were like 15 and 11. So then I just kind of got two more. Were they wiener dogs? Replaced.
Starting point is 01:25:11 The old ones? No, it was a Cavalier King Trail Spaniel and a Jack Russell Terrier that had its arm amputated. It got bit on the penis by a spider and got an infection and then had to get its dick and its arm amputated. And I wish I was joking. Oh, man. Had to get its urethra rerouted.
Starting point is 01:25:26 It should have just put the fucking thing down at that point. That was near the end, I hope. That wasn't like... It was like two when that happened. Oh. Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 01:25:40 He comes home from the doctor with his balls gone and he's like, this couldn't get any worse little did he know a year later yeah it's my grandpa's dog i have my grandpa lives at my house and it was his dog shout out papa shout out your grandpa yeah how's your grandpa doing oh he had stomach cancer and then uh he beat it and then now he has a girlfriend he's living with his girlfriend in frederick maryland half the time he's coming up grandpa yeah right he's doing he's doing good that's like one of the worst cancers to get very painful yeah it seemed like shit dude and he had
Starting point is 01:26:14 to do chemo and whatnot i was hoping to get him like a big breasted ebony woman but he found a little white lady so you know not all my dreams yeah yeah maybe she'll watch top one yeah there you go i think it'd be cool to like an international find some someone to fuck my grandpa i think lock and load should sponsor brandon's grandpa yeah we should we should sponsor brandon i think there's a show contest well there's a dating show called like milf and you've got like a milf on there and then her son is there so he's like my name's pete and this is my hot mom diane um you know she's looking for a guy and and i was like why are the sons there oh speaking reality shows i keep i keep meaning to bring this up again with with woody because i know he's seen it that that show on hbo where where they start by looking at everybody's penises
Starting point is 01:27:03 and vaginas before they pick a mate. I love that show, Woody. I love that show. Get into it. I want you to watch that. It's called, what is it called, Kyle? Naked Attraction, maybe. Does that sound right?
Starting point is 01:27:13 Yeah. So it's a British show, like Channel 5 or something. I don't know. Anyway, it's a British show. And you have, each episode has two rounds, essentially. And the first round will be like there'll be a guy there in the second round there'll be a girl there and they're looking for love and they've got them like four or five potential partners who are in this sort of chamber that can
Starting point is 01:27:34 reveal their body in increments telephone but it's but they're revealed from the bottom up in these little increments and like right away it's like all right let's see what we got and usually the chicks will be bisexual so you'll have like three pussies and three cocks or something and we just zoom in on everybody's genitals can i jump in i i thought like before i saw the show like are we gonna waste a lot of time looking at their feet and then we're gonna see their knees then we're gonna see then they're gonna like be a little tease unless the guy's 19 inches long you know we're just gonna see something oh no oh no they're like all right let's meet the contestants the little door rises to their belly button every one of them yeah well fuck and then like kyle said like there must be a
Starting point is 01:28:21 cameraman like right up on the dick or badge. He's got a long lens. He's sweaty. There's no questions. The one guy can flex his balls so he's drawing them up toward his body. Some guys will flex their pecs. He's flexing his balls.
Starting point is 01:28:39 He's like, shushunk, shushunk. Everybody can lift their balls up. What? I can't lift my balls up you can't that's a thing no i can't and he has pulled them up man he has pulled them up like in the front in a way that's absurd he's beckoning you the ball stack flexing them like biceps next to his cock okay well the way he's doing it sounds pretty impressive it's a visual display i could flex it's not censored like no no no no no you see everything and it couldn't be less censored it's gynecological yes it's medical and and it's dudes and and and chicks so like and eventually she narrows it down to her two guys and often they'll be very different they'll be like a short like nerdy guy with a little dick and they'll be like this big
Starting point is 01:29:31 like tan motherfucker with with like a man bun and okay he's like five inches soft and then that i think she's like i don't know that's when the chooser gets naked so you get to see that person naked too and by the way they walk in but it's like all right whole body shot and then they're like boom here's her cunt you know it'd be discouraging is if you were like the guy and like they come up to your belly button and they're like that's a great dick and then you're like a front runner and then it reveals your face and then she's like oh no that's how it goes like that would be so discouraging where i'd be like damn it i passed the dick test and then she saw the face and wait which test do you would you rather pass oh definitely the dick test
Starting point is 01:30:17 like i'd rather pass that one because you stay in the game longer you're going to are you suggesting that either way you're going to fail like i'd say that it would be discouraging to get all pumped up on yourself hearing that the lady's like number three i'm all in he's got nice calves not as good as the other guy but and then he's got a nice dick and then sees the face and then it'd be like oh i want to ask you this if if i'm uh your creator and i give you 10 points of goodness to distribute between your dick and your face what is your distribution on top of where he is now you're suggesting oh no we're building his character in this game from start can i put a question right there can i get put points into like being taller too he's like skill point. Don't get greedy, Taylor.
Starting point is 01:31:05 We'll weigh that off. You're right. You're right. It'll be a decision you make later. I've always wanted to be six foot ten. That's just like funny. Yeah, I guess you're right. I would put more points in the dick because chicks seem to be more...
Starting point is 01:31:20 If you're funny and you're good at conversation you can overcome like looking average or below average with your face i'm on the other team here it's my opinion that guys care about your dick more than girls do the girls are okay with a wider range of dicks at least they say they are online this is they are online in public though that's yeah i I saw a girl with a, not a ruler, with a tape measure I'm looking for, and she pulls it out. She's like, this is four inches.
Starting point is 01:31:52 It's enough, really. If you have this, you're fine. She's like, this is five inches. It's perfect. This is six. We're borderline too much here. This is 12. This is what 12 inches looks like.
Starting point is 01:32:04 What am I going to do with that? And I'm like, I am convinced she's telling me her truth. Well, of course no one wants a foot of cock. Yeah, a foot long penis. My blood pressure can't handle that. I can't. It'd be good for your blood pressure.
Starting point is 01:32:20 No, it would plummet. I would just drop unconscious. You'd get to eat as much snalt as you drop unconscious there wouldn't be enough blood in my brain if we want to test that i have a home blood pressure thing i want to check off and do before and afters you know in order to figure out the facial point distribution i would have to be able to see like my face fast forward. Because if it was like, alright, throw eight points into my face, and I'm stunning, and I'm like, oh my, who's that guy? You might need to do that. It's not just variations of your face.
Starting point is 01:32:54 There's Prime Brad Pitt with some micro-penis all the way down to some legendary schlong and Steve Buscemi. I would be like David Schw swimmer i'll be like david swimmer with like nine solid i want to be steven hawking with a 14 inch dick just in the chair dead bodied quadriplegic about david swimmer he's fucking like through all those years on friends he looks
Starting point is 01:33:22 like the nerdy paleontologist he He's always wearing this big sweater. Like a trench coat or whatever. He could beat the shit out of Joey Tribbion. He was always real big. He did an action movie, at least one. At least one. That's funny, because even in Band of Brothers, they didn't show that aspect of him.
Starting point is 01:33:38 No, I don't know that he was then. That's real early David Schwimmer, I think. I'm about to start watching a show that's got Sergeant Winters from Band of Brothers in it. It's some sort of CIA show that's on Showtime. As a matter of fact, it might be better
Starting point is 01:33:55 than Joey. I think he did an action movie. I think he did an action movie and he legitimately looked big in it. I saw Matthew Perry did this thing where he thanked everyone and he thanked David Schwimmer for not taking all the money. I guess at one point in the negotiation, he was
Starting point is 01:34:11 the most established name? I think it was his character was the most vital to the show or it was very vital to the show, right? Him and Rachel's thing, I thought, was just to preface, I despise Friends. i didn't think it was good then don't think it's good now don't care what happened to that guy that he got turned into
Starting point is 01:34:29 a pot roast um i just don't care friend i i oh that's who you're talking about yeah yeah yeah what else was he in like what else would i know him from other than Friends? The guy who died in the hot tub. Did he do anything else? He did a bunch of comedies. Nine and a half yards with Bruce Willis. Then rehabbed the sequel. He was just sitting out of rehab the whole time. He did a bunch of comedies and romantic comedies
Starting point is 01:34:59 and funny action movies. I didn't know he had a career after Friends. He had a lot of like like high class girlfriends i think he was dating julia roberts for a long time um among other i think he broke up with her pretty sure he did yeah good for him but but i don't give a shit uh about about that show or those people i never really liked any of them or that show i remember my uh my sister would it, my mom would watch it, and I was just like, man, it's a good thing they got
Starting point is 01:35:27 a laugh track on this because it's garbage. It's like Seinfeld. I always thought Rachel was such a dirty whore that it was like, who would want Rachel? She's so nasty. Rachel's just a dirty whore. Rachel was Jennifer Aniston, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:44 Dude, I liked how she didn't wear a bra for a good deal of the episodes I saw. That was nice. I think she just has real hard nipples all the time. That's what I read. I didn't expect the slut shaming to come like this.
Starting point is 01:36:00 Yeah. All of them, really. I just hate that show. It's a terrible show i think elaine was hotter than them because i was like watching seinfeld and being like like i like her personality she's funny too and like i i liked elaine had a little mini crush on elaine in the what would that be early 2000s thought she was hot yeah she's i thought j Jerry was a fucking fool for not sealing the deal with Elaine. Wait, he had an opportunity?
Starting point is 01:36:29 They should have. I mean, it kind of would have ruined the show. They dated twice. She's introduced in the early episodes or whenever as his ex-girlfriend or someone who he has dated. And then they hook up again and they date again sort of for a
Starting point is 01:36:45 while during the during the show have you guys seen kramer apologize for saying the the n-word on um it's so awkward the audience doesn't know if it's a joke or if it's oh laugh it's so is that the one where jerry's sitting next to him like yeah yeah it's not funny you know it's racist and like people are just laughing at Michael Richards because Michael Richards is hilarious. He's a funny guy. If he'd owned that, I think it would have gone over so much better.
Starting point is 01:37:13 If he'd been like, look, it was just a joke. You've seen me kicking doors in, being wackadoo, passing out on hookers for years. Yeah, I said some words you're not supposed to say, and I will repeat that mistake because I see the reaction it's gotten. Come on i'm a wacky guy don't take everything i do don't even close to seriously come on they could have written an episode and ran away like like creamer's bursting into jerry's apartment he's like i'm telling you jerry
Starting point is 01:37:38 the neighborhood's changing people are looking different around here i don't like it i feel like my entire home's been taken away from me and he's like grandma stop don't like it. I feel like my entire home has been taken away from me. And he's like, Kramer, stop. Don't wear that shirt. And he's got a swastika on or something. That would be good. Yeah. All right, Kramer.
Starting point is 01:37:54 Well, if you watch the Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes where they're like doing the Seinfeld reunion show, that's a big part of it, is that Michael Richards is pretending like he's really upset about the whole thing, and he's afraid of black people. And so Larry has his black friend go pretend like he's representing, I don't know, the black Muslims or something, and then to forgive him. He's like,
Starting point is 01:38:20 go forgive him. It'll make him feel great. He'll be able to act. They have this whole bit. It's great. It's so weird how that went down. I like how the Mel Gibson shit went down. He seemed like he owned it a lot better. Which part? The Jew part or the sugar tits part? He hit every...
Starting point is 01:38:35 Or the N-word part. Yeah, the N-word part where he told his girlfriend that she was going to get raped by a pack of... You know what I'm saying? He went on a talk show like four years later and the guy asked him about it and he was just like uh you know it's four years ago why don't we just let the let the past be the past asshole i was watching mel gibson clips for hours yesterday that guy fucking rocks oh like once
Starting point is 01:39:01 every two years i go back and listen to the opie and anthony mel gibson tapes saga because it is hysterical them just sitting around in like what 2004 2005 going through his tapes because he's like i i bet like one of the hardest i've heard like i think anthony kumia laugh was like how many times they replayed him being furious that he wasn't blown before the jacuzzi like he was so insistent and she was like doing that like manipulative like recording someone voice where she's like
Starting point is 01:39:33 Mel why are you so mad at me I have not done anything to you and he's like you do things to me all the time Mel I just wanted to come home and have fun with you and have a glass of wine and use the hot tub. And then what'd you do? You didn't blow me!
Starting point is 01:39:51 He's like, I'm gonna put you in the rose garden. I'm gonna put you in the rose garden. Shit's crazy. It's anyone who hasn't listened. Why are we pro Mel Gibson in this situation? Because it's hilarious.
Starting point is 01:40:04 Because his wife's a hilarious. It's so funny. Because his wife's a bitch. It's kind of like he's going to blow him after the jacuzzi. He can't be flexible. Even just hearing his side of those voicemails or conversations, you kind of glean something about how the relationship has gone. He's like, those ridiculous fake tits you got. You look like a whore. You're disgusting.
Starting point is 01:40:25 I hope you get raped by a pack of ninjas. And it'll be your fault. It'll be all your fault. You filthy whore. I like the good one of being a virgin. Raging. Oh, man. He's raging at her.
Starting point is 01:40:40 And she's clearly baiting. Oh, but why are you so mad? I've never done anything to you. It's great. He sounded like a wolverine. It was awesome. He's growling at parts of it. It's so mad. I love Mel Gibson.
Starting point is 01:40:56 He's one of my favorite all-time actors. I always thought he was Australian, but I think he was born in the US and then immigrated to Australia and lived there for some of his childhood and then came back to the u.s so i really don't understand why he had that australian accent for so long i think he was just putting it on to seem more exotic he's a man of many talents but yeah his wife went on a talk show who's that really old talk show host guy that died not long ago he lived to be like 90 something he wore the fucking overalls larry uh larry king
Starting point is 01:41:25 larry king he died am i wrong about that is larry king alive i thought he's still still alive well he went on uh he went old in the 90s she went on his show and like she's so unlikable i mean granted she was like abused and hit and supposedly had her teeth broken. He paid for them. Larry King apparently died in 2021. Rest in peace, man. Damn. Rip. What do you think about that, Taylor? If you buy your significant other some new teeth,
Starting point is 01:41:55 say you sink a good $35,000 in them. That's probably what a good set of chompers cost these days. She cheats on you. She leaves you. You're allowed to pop one of those out. Just give her one right in the mouth. A little repo action. I think I should be able to take her back to the dentist and be like, make me whole, Doc.
Starting point is 01:42:12 Like, take these out. Leave her with her little sharp under the veneer teeth. And then I get all the crowns. She gets piranha mouthed? Yeah. No, I want all these in my mouth now. I double up. Give me a second row. Like a tiger shark. crown she gets piranha mouthed yeah no i want all these in my mouth now i double up yeah i i just wanted to i just wanted to control f to find that rose garden line because i'd forgotten about that she said uh or she said nothing nothing i'm not the one
Starting point is 01:42:41 to threaten and mel goes i'm threatening i'll put you in the fucking rose garden you cunt you understand that because i'm capable of it you understand that get a fucking restraining order for what what are you gonna do with the restraining order for me being drunk and disorderly for hitting you for what um don't hire blank it's it's so over the top he's like listing all this fucking. Fucking rose garden. He's like, yeah, yeah. All of those reasons. He's nailing it. In the correct order even.
Starting point is 01:43:10 Apparently he punched her so hard his hand ricocheted off her face and hit his child. Oh my God. That's his side of the story. In reality, he just hit them both. He was just like collateral damaging. Imagine if that's him trying to make things seem not so bad. I did not beat my childhood on her. See, I hit my wife so fucking hard.
Starting point is 01:43:30 Look at that noggin on that bitch. Bounced right off that thing. Hit little Timmy. I felt terrible, of course. You can imagine how I felt. This was a brutal phone conversation for him. You look through it, he doesn't come off looking good.
Starting point is 01:43:46 He doesn't know. The fact that on top of that, there's the audio from when he got pulled over that time, and he calls the cop sugar tits or whatever. He's like, Mel Gibson, there's no
Starting point is 01:44:02 way these are isolated. He lived his life like that from Lethal Weapon 1 until he got caught that was just how he was rolling I bet, what a king he's flying a little too close to the sun but I still love him I do too, the road warrior he goes Icarus mode every so often
Starting point is 01:44:21 goes Kanye mode he was badass is kanye gonna get his career back is he already had it back i don't even know he's fine right they had him at the inganu fight they flew him out for that but then it was like he refused to go on camera or anything or something because i never saw an interview with him they made a point of like sticking a camera everybody was in the middle east though so he so he was probably trying to show those graphs to the Arab guys. He's like, Kanye, you're preaching to the choir here. Stop it.
Starting point is 01:44:52 Yeah. Kanye could make a resurgence right now. There's a huge young crowd who'd be open to his message, I feel like. At the Palestine protest, there was a lot of the same people that would be at a Black Lives Matter protest for Antifa, blue-haired people.
Starting point is 01:45:09 It was quite the culmination. It was very, very interesting. I remember when it started, what were they doing in Wall Street? Where everybody just laid on the steps or whatever? Occupy Wall Street. Occupy Wall Street. When I was in college, they were doing that.
Starting point is 01:45:21 I think those are the same people. They just keep finding a new fucking scam to run. There's got to be money and being an asshole. Those people are like 40 by now, right? Yeah, they're the ones in charge. I think it's really interesting to be holding a sign and screaming in the street and then someone comes up to you with a microphone
Starting point is 01:45:38 and they're like, hey, what's your message? And they're like, get away from me. It's like, well, what the fuck are you doing here? What's the point? They wanted to post it to instagram get some i think that's what it is they just want to be like hey i'm a good guy but i don't actually have a message or anything to say yeah here's one here's here's one um i keep seeing that and i don't even know why it's a thing so what happens is people post these posters of like
Starting point is 01:46:01 the the jewish pows or whatever prisoners like they'll they'll why are you sticking that on a first of all why are you putting that in the united states like someone in new york city is going to see that and be like ah hakeem ah i was facetiming with my friend in palestine last night and i saw this little fucker in the background for sure let me call where who do i call id idf like no what the fuck are you even putting it there even still if you're putting in there to be like hey this is the evil that's happening in the world don't forget maybe doing that i can understand that i suppose but then these other people who come around and want to claw it off like you're so much more petty than than the people who are posting
Starting point is 01:46:40 them so i don't mind when they sneak razors in between the pages so that they cut their fingertips off that's funny to me because and it also means that the people who like to scratch at posters now have to bring a knife and you know it's new york city so then they get arrested so i've been enjoying watching that on the internet that's kind of what i watch they need a hobby like i can't imagine tearing down posters in public who like calm down idiot oh my goodness. Have you seen Babylon 5? You've got plenty of stuff you could be watching. Is there any cause that could
Starting point is 01:47:11 actually get you going to a protest? In my head, I'm trying to think they'd have to do something. I don't even know. I've never participated in a political thing. I guess if an Israeli settler stole my home from me in America, I might go. Okay, if someone steals my house from me, I'm going to a protest.
Starting point is 01:47:32 If that happens. Yeah, I would do that. Even then, I probably might just go get a different house. I don't know. I mean, here they just rezone your area or something and price you out or buy you out or something. They won't resort to genocide. But I don't know. Maybe if they were doing something that
Starting point is 01:47:49 took some of your core rights away, it's like, yeah, no more cars. How about something meat-related? I just thought of something. I was going to say, Dan B. We're getting rid of meat. We're not allowing beef farming anymore. It's too bad for the environment. Both of you fuckers would protest if there's no scoreboard at the end of the Vermintide round.
Starting point is 01:48:06 No, I just won't play their fucking game anymore because it'll scoreboard in it. It matters who wins. It matters who fucking wins. If it didn't matter, then I wouldn't play. Yeah, I'd go to the street for that if I could. Someone should be outside
Starting point is 01:48:24 Fat Shark's audiences. This game is called Fat Shark. Fat Shark's the developer, but they're owned by some Chinese overlord that made some changes. It's not Vermintide. It's called Darktide. It's the 40k version. Warhammer. Yeah, it's Warhammer.
Starting point is 01:48:39 You go in with three of your boys and waves and waves of enemies as you make your way through this data. It's incredible music. The music's like this gothic electric electronic music they get you pumped as fuck to go slay the the heretics or whatever but still there's no goddamn scoreboard so why would i try to get better like the whole reason i like play games like that is like shit i got 100 kills next game i'll see if i get 110 right like so i can help my team when go play on a harder difficulty or
Starting point is 01:49:06 something. There's no fucking scoreboard so I don't want to play. That's a real thing. They took away the fucking scoreboard? They just didn't have it. In the next version of the game, it didn't have a scoreboard. Who benefits from that? I guess they felt like people were playing for stats. The goal of the game
Starting point is 01:49:22 is to have a lot of teamwork. For example example you might kill him you might choose a character that's not particularly good at slaying all the bad guys but your presence heals everybody so on the scoreboard you might feel like a loser and be like i'm never gonna play him again this sucks i want to be the elf and they were like let's just get rid of all this score counting and focus on teamwork which is insane because it's like why wouldn't you just add another column for like heels or something or that right now i'll fucking you guys want to meet up you know okay you're right
Starting point is 01:49:56 i forgot how i forgot how he did i was over this i hadn't heard of that yeah because that game would have been so much fun because it's a cool property 40k i think there might be a mod for it where we could do that if there is i'd be down to I hadn't heard of that. Yeah, because that game would have been so much fun because it's a cool property, 40K's name. I think there might be a mod for it where we could do that. If there is, I'd be down to play that some because I've been looking for a game for us to play, like literally you and me to play. I was even thinking about doing single-player Tarkov
Starting point is 01:50:15 because that eliminates the human element. You're just playing against AI. So now we're just sneaking around in the dark with night vision shooting AI. There's not as big of an incentive to find those games when like Codenames is so fun. hunt showdown would be really fun i was watching uh general sam uh with a really funny fucking hunt showdown video recently that looks neat but yeah code names is the shit i i like the uh yeah for sure general sam's hilarious uh we played
Starting point is 01:50:39 some code names recently those games get heated uh i get upset i get so fucking upset when people do silly things i i think i on your team he had when he didn't say scurvy for orange and ship that was that was a real win for us though that that that meant that i didn't didn't have to punch any walls that that that night after i got off i get so upset at that game you were you were pretty ornery uh well this was like a few game sessions ago at that point you haven't been ornery since yeah you guys play age of empires oh yeah i love aoe too like i went through a big big like resurgence with some buddies of mine like a year ago where i was playing five six nights a week i was memorizing build orders i was practicing my fast castle it was so much fun do you play
Starting point is 01:51:23 yeah i played aoe to a bunch but i've been playing aoe4 and there's they're having the expansion in in five days cannot wait do you like aoe4 no i don't like that nerd shit i'm do cool stuff football drink beer you know no i love all that gay shit like i love age of empires is the most it's the most satisfying way to win a game in gaming i've ever experienced like it's and it's also the most, it's the most satisfying way to win a game in gaming I've ever experienced. Like it's, and it's also the most devastating when someone comes into your carefully constructed base and destroys it because they run a better economy than you. And they had a better build order and they scouted better. Like it's devastating to watch all your stuff be destroyed.
Starting point is 01:52:00 Cause it's not like, Oh, they nuked me and it's gone. It's like, okay, they destroyed that barracks in that house. So my I'm pop capped,pped but okay i can kind of recover back here maybe maybe and so it but it's like a slow protracted battle where you're losing but the inverse is like when you get the jump on someone because you were more clever or you anticipate you scouted them out and saw oh they have an archery range in feudal age I need to rock into some skirmishers and go over there and tech them out. It feels so satisfying because it's not just beating them briefly like Call of Duty.
Starting point is 01:52:32 You're wave after wave, grinding them down, destroying them for like 20 minutes until they concede. It's so satisfying. I've never played AoE 4. I just played 2. It's very similar to AoE 2,
Starting point is 01:52:44 obviously a little bit different, but the expansion is bringing in the Japanese and the Byzantines. I'm sure the AoE 4. I just played 2. It's very similar to AoE 2, obviously a little bit different, but the expansion is bringing in the Japanese and the Byzantines. I'm sure the viewers that are listening to this are at the edge of their seat right now. They're cumming their pants over this. I don't have a single IRL friend that plays Age of Empires, which I guess just shows how much of a loser I am.
Starting point is 01:53:00 Dude, if you ever play AoE 2, I haven't played in almost probably like 10 months now, add me and I'll play with you. I'm so down to play. Literally anytime. I love that game. It's great. I haven't played in a while.
Starting point is 01:53:12 I need to bone up on my build order. And also it's like it's so disheartening because like I played like I had like a group of eight or nine friends, like my buddies from high school, college and stuff. And like we all would play together and among that group i was like the cat's pajamas like they would have they'd have to be like all right we're doing a big team game we'll have to do five on three instead of four on four because taylor's on that team and he's much faster than us to make it fair and i'd still win most of the time and then i get high on my own supply and i hop on to live and play against people like real people and it's it's such a a slap in the face from reality because it's like oh like i'm not even in the vicinity like i at no point in this
Starting point is 01:54:00 game did i have a chance this guy's rolling up with fucking you know a five militia rush three minutes into the game and i'm like i need to watch this replay because i don't even know what he did to enable this as a possibility and i'm just getting humiliated that was unreal did what are your call do you guys play any uh rts games like you said you liked star trek do you play starcraft and they're not really related but um so not not that uh like recently i played a bunch of boulders gate uh before that i was playing diablo played a shitload of that or that i played a dark tide um every time i pick one of these games i'm putting like 400 hours into them or something warhammer was probably the last rts we played together yeah um yeah warhammer the uh warhammer yeah total war warhammer 3 was the last
Starting point is 01:54:48 rts we played i've played up maybe a thousand hours of that i'm i like that a lot i like the fantasy aspect of it more than uh historical stuff i guess i'd much rather have a bunch of trolls and goblins fighting than a bunch of like squares of shot and pike or whatever age mythology like probably five years ago now you and i played that for a while that's such a great i love a that was all encompassing uh it was seven years ago i remember very well i remember having like laptop to my left like notebook to my, just sitting there at three in the morning memorizing. Dude, we won some online 2v2s. Just because all we did was like pick sibs
Starting point is 01:55:31 that were totally complimentary. And I was like, every single game, I'm low-key Norse rushing. That's all I'm doing. And every single game, Kyle's holding back, building up an army to join me. And we would also play with like random fans who were like, yeah, let me download the game real quick.
Starting point is 01:55:45 Oh yeah, that's only 14 gigs. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they're like, what do I do with these villagers? And I'm like, don't worry about it. I'll be there to get them in a minute. Don't worry. Keep them busy.
Starting point is 01:55:57 Keep building more though. Build a bunch. Brandon, have you ever played the Total War Warhammer series? That RTS? No, I've never gotten into the big large landscape RTSs. I would like to. I feel like I would really enjoy them if I could get into them. But my brother is like a mega fan
Starting point is 01:56:12 but I just haven't played them yet, unfortunately. Total War is a cool It's like a lot to take in. Anything Warhammer, I like. If you're smart, you can pick up Total War real quick like there's simple ways to play you can pick a simple
Starting point is 01:56:27 with a simple like play style so you've only got like three or four main components to your whole army but you're not microing like tons of cav and zigzagging around the board that's when it gets really difficult that and understanding what all the matchups are because there's a thousand different fucking units in that
Starting point is 01:56:44 game with different attributes and weaknesses and strengths versus one another. Like movements are totally different from other RTS games like Starcraft, Age of Empires, like you tell your group of spearmen to walk over here, they instantly start doing that.
Starting point is 01:56:59 Whereas in Total War, like because you're moving around giant units, like you tell them to go forward and like realign here and then attack and like it's a it's 50 seconds of in game where they're just like marching that way and then realigning and then doing what you tell
Starting point is 01:57:16 them to do because it's just so much larger scale and so it's easy to get almost discouraged or or out over your own skis and be like wait where are you guys going i forgot where i sent this unit okay well actually bail on that plan realign here and then you go back and you allow a bad matchup to happen it's man i want to play total war again we should do that i'm about to play anything anytime uh you know i just like gaming i the the thing that makes
Starting point is 01:57:40 games fun to me is playing with other people though um like balder's gate story was good enough that i could go off on my own and sink i don't know how a couple hundred hours into that and have a ball but uh mostly i like working with people in some cooperative kind of manner and if possible upsetting other people that's the cherry on top like if if me and you can go over to their base and like hide outside the door of with a shotgun and grub kill his ass and take his good shit, even if we just take it and throw it in the ocean so he can't have it, I'm having a ball. You're just fucking with people.
Starting point is 01:58:15 I mean, you do that in Tarkov all the time. You grub kill one guy who's in a squad and grab his gun and just run off with it, just be a piece of shit. I'm not here to fight or play with you guys. I'm just gonna upset this one person and run away. Are you mostly an RTS gamer, Brandon? Right now
Starting point is 01:58:32 all I play is Age of Empires and Hearthstone unfortunately. The ultimate pussy-getting combo. Ladies love it. Yeah, I love AoE and also Magic the Gathering Arena. What game is the best for getting girls? Try Tinder.
Starting point is 01:58:49 That is a good question. What games to fucking Candy Crush? What the fuck games do girls like? They love phone games. They like mobile stuff. Any game that you're a pro in, you make money. You can't slide into their DMs in Candy Crush or something. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:59:03 Yeah. Probably if there's a game that oppresses them. Like to chicks like a fucking guitar hero. You can't slide into their DMs and candy crush or something. You know what I mean? Probably be the kind of that oppresses them. Like the chicks like a fucking guitar hero on drums. It's got to be Warcraft. Dragon Force, Fire in the Flames. You need someone lots of interaction. But with the drums, right? That's the sexy one.
Starting point is 01:59:18 Yeah. The guy sitting there, there's no sound coming from it because it's... Yeah, I don't think women are impressed by that. You hear about people who get married to their Warcraft pal. I hear about people who whore out their wives for Warcraft
Starting point is 01:59:33 in-game items. Oh my god, that's a relationship that's doomed to fail. Judgment. Yeah, I remember this woman was talking about her husband used to like have her fuck dudes and then he would get like i don't know flaming diamond swords i'm not into that game and uh she's like at the time i thought it was like the coolest thing ever and he's like now i feel a little devalued and i realized i was a prostitute in the lamest way possible
Starting point is 02:00:03 adam 22 and your wife for video game skins. Yeah, because you want an extra rare knife blade or some shit in Counter-Strike. Adam 22, is this a backstory I should know? That knife could be worth a lot of money in Counter-Strike. You know who that is, right, Woody? Mm-mm. Oh, like the No Jumper guy? Podcaster?
Starting point is 02:00:22 Oh, yes, yes, yes. You guys know who that is, right, Kyle? Yep. Yeah. I'm spacing now. I don't know who that is right kyle yeah yeah i'm spacing now i don't know who that is oh it's like a huge podcast yeah he's like five million subscribers or something um but he's just been uh videotaping or he videotaped his wife getting fucked by a man for money and then now he's doing an entire reality show about uh who is gonna fuck his wife with him on camera for a threesome. That's a whole show.
Starting point is 02:00:47 Well, hang on a minute. It sounds more like this guy and his wife are like just porn stars. They are. I'm picking. I'm getting a swinger vibe like he likes to cuck or be cucked. But like it was a progressive thing. Like, yeah, I think it probably got more and more progressive as they needed to do more to make that money. Sean O'Malley had the same situation like him and his wife or girl or whatever?
Starting point is 02:01:10 Or just like banged whatever they want? I heard him tell a story where he said he called up one of his buddies because his wife wanted to fuck him. And was like, hey, I just want to let you know it's all good, man. You can do it. I won't be mad. Sean O'Malley did that? Yeah. He told the story. What do they call that?
Starting point is 02:01:25 Something monogamy. No. Oh. Polygamy? Ethical monogamy? Something like that. Ethical non-monogamy. That's what it is.
Starting point is 02:01:33 Ethical non-monogamy. They just sound like they've got a polygamous kind of thing going on over there. I know Sean O'Malley, by the way, is the rainbow-haired guy with the tats on his face. He was like the 145-pound champion of the world. Yeah. He was the other upset winner, right and strickland um yeah i i didn't think sean sean okay sean ko'd um aljamain but before that like going way back i'll never forget that he lost to peter yan like like this that that wasn't pretty sure that was the fight that
Starting point is 02:02:02 yeah i agree a lot of people thought that decision was wrong. Piotr Jan's got a bad fucking batch of decisions. The worst. It is amazing. That guy only loses to the best and very close. Oh, we gotta talk about Tony Ferguson. The Goggins training? Oh my god, Taylor.
Starting point is 02:02:20 This transcends the nitty gritty UFC and gets out to the wider sports world, I think. So here's the situation. Tony fucking Ferguson, El Kukui, the nightmare, the demon man, the boogeyman himself, this Mexican 155-pound fighter who used to be the guy. You didn't want your guy to go fight him. You're like, fuck, he's going to cut my guy's face up.
Starting point is 02:02:42 He's going to embarrass my guy. He's going to take my guy into round up he's gonna embarrass my guy he's gonna take my guy into round five huffing and puffing and he's gonna be over there bouncing on his toes licking blood off his fist he's that guy he always trained very crazily all sorts of like um like kung fu ninjutsu lots of acrobatics lots of weird stuff um he made a point one time even though his fight got canceled of making weight anyway like cutting all the weight down to 155 which is insane and that's when i know david got um goggins or whatever um like noticed him because i remember back then that goggins was like i saw this guy tony ferguson you know he's always running i was gonna tell tony ferguson if i
Starting point is 02:03:22 got called off he still may wait he was letting him know he was letting him know and i'm like yeah he's letting him know he's a fucking idiot he just dehydrated his brain he's gonna have to go into combat in a few weeks and sure enough gets knocked the fuck out he's lost six in a row he had he had won like he had won like a dozen or 16 in a row and we wanted him to fight for the belt he was the interim he had the interim belt he tripped over a fucking power cord blew his knee out didn't get to fight then there's people missing weight fights getting canceled lots of bad luck now he's on a six fight skid six in a row he's lost but he's lost to the best he's lost to banil dariush he's
Starting point is 02:04:00 lost to justin gaethje he's lost him to charles olivera he and there's some other people he lost to but but come on those guys like the best some quality losses in there i'd be i'd be proud to lose to them yeah outrageous like the the guys that you call when you want somebody to fight for the championship he's lost to those guys but now it's six in a fucking row it's six in a fucking row and he's his next opponent is patty the baddie who's won six who's won six in a row all right patty pimblitt that british guy with the beatles with the hair yeah yeah who the crowd like loved in liverpool like like lost their fucking shit very popular fighter many people yeah he's said some shit but uh many people would argue that his opponent's a little cherry picked that usually when you win six in a row you're like going for a title instead he's said some shit but uh many people would argue that his opponent's a little cherry-picked
Starting point is 02:04:45 that usually when you win six in a row you're like going for a title instead he's fighting people who don't have wikipedia pages kind of it's his first six you know like he's getting started but uh this um this i'm so interested in this fight there are a lot of big fights coming up championships are on the line like big deals lots of cool storylines this is the one that intrigues me the most because you've got this guy in tony ferguson who has no quit in him it does he doesn't know how he we've talked about how he's crazy how he kidnapped his son and went to the desert because he thought the apocalypse was coming we talked about how he tore his mantle apart because he thought there were listening devices in it he's a wild man and insane sorry
Starting point is 02:05:21 i i think he's gonna win he's being trained right now by that you know dave joggins right i think i'm getting his name right he's the black navy seal guy who like does all those crazy things he's like a mental ill runner he's fucking mentally unwell yeah he's like unwell his training methods are impressive but stupid right training yeah like running a hundred miles with a broken foot in 24 hours how is that like advisable is that what he did yeah he worked out like shits himself yeah so i die right all my pants stay hard i think what this guy seems like a bit of a kook oh i'm surprised you don't know about this guy i think i saw a clip of him, this like lean runner looking black guy.
Starting point is 02:06:06 And I think like all I know about him is I saw the clip and he was like, I never train with music. You have to be prepared to run and fight in silence. That's why when I work out, it's in silence. And I remember thinking like, that's retarded. I saw this guy on the JRE talking about his, like he hired David Goggins to help him.
Starting point is 02:06:26 And on day one, day one, Dave's like, all right, let's see what we're working with. How many pull-ups can you do? It is some amount that a normal person can do like six or something like, okay,
Starting point is 02:06:36 cool. Rests for a little bit. Now, how many can you do? Four. All right. All right. All right.
Starting point is 02:06:43 All right. It's an, again, now he's at like two he's like all right you've done 12 you have 88 to go and what yeah so he just one at a time with like 10 seconds of rest 30 seconds of rest he made this guy do a hundred pull-ups and that was like how they kicked off their training so he's training with tony ferguson who's notorious for overtraining that's a the way, that's a terrible way to train for longevity and actual results.
Starting point is 02:07:10 Dude, if that's what training is, I'm the best trainer ever because someone goes, I just got back from my five-mile run. Coach Taylor, what do I do? I go, hoorah, Semper Fi, another five miles, partner. And then I just do that. And I'm the best coach on earth i just tell him to do more than is appropriate i think but he does he does more than what's
Starting point is 02:07:31 appropriate like some of his feats are outrageous if my coach is shitting himself i'm finding a new coach i think that's a big part of marathon running i think everybody shits himself eventually i think taylor likes enthusiasm discipline and stick-to-itiveness like there's ultra marathons when you're running like 100 plus miles i see those ladies like shit running down their legs all the time it's it's an upsetting sport yeah get better at running so you don't poop your pants while you're doing it how about that uh anyway recognizing when you need to poop okay i saw tony ferguson like going through this hell week with this guy and he's like doing the fucking elliptical like like like running and like training and then he's vomiting i'm like they record the
Starting point is 02:08:10 guy he's vomiting they recorded the vomit that that needs to be on social media now i'm hyped for the fight though i really am i i would bet on tony ferguson i would bet on tony ferguson to petty yet do you know i don't think he does that anymore i think that that was just you know he did that kyle are you worried though if tony ferguson is being over trained by david goggins when tony ferguson is already a psycho who's talked about training for six hours a day that he's going to be like fucked up by the time the fight comes i think here's what i i i think could happen i think that this could get him very mentally focused and uh and motivated enough that he he's like that lady lifting the car off her baby um he's he's he channels all
Starting point is 02:08:52 this intensity and i just don't know if patty is as hardened an individual mentally um as tony ferguson is i feel like tony will go places that patty won't i'm not talking about like eye gouging and biting it's a fucking MMA fight, but I just think he's a rougher, tougher dude. He's got so much more experience. I don't think Patty's been tested on that level. Tony doesn't make it to the ring.
Starting point is 02:09:16 Tony will get hurt before the fight. He'll fight injury or not though. I wouldn't bet that. Remember when Patty blew his knee out? He had to though so so so i wouldn't bet that what remember with patty biblitt fights patty blew his knee out like like he had one he and he and khabib used to like never met yeah a lot of injuries could be but kidneys failed that time patty piblet fought a terrible fight against
Starting point is 02:09:37 jared gordon and then was like screaming in the octagon for a performance bonus i was like dude yeah that was embarrassing i lost him a lot of fans yeah that for sure well not only that like some of the stuff with ariel hawani when he got into a a bit with him um chael has been hilarious lately chael got into a whole like argument with on ariel hawani show in an interview um they're yelling each other cursing at each other uh seemingly maybe they quashed that but um in the before they could jorge masvidal weasel that he is now that his court case with colby covington is over slides in on errol's show and talks a lot of shit about chael says some some stuff and chael just roasted him on twitter it was really funny shit like like something about
Starting point is 02:10:23 like can you kick with wearing that ankle bracelet um that court uh ordered ankle bracelet something about did you go to a miami dent shop to get no miami body shop to get them dents that that dent uh uzman put in your head pulled out like just really like when you see the one about how they're not likely to run into each other yeah uh yeah, yeah. What do you say? Chael's response is so good. I need to see it.
Starting point is 02:10:48 I need to look for it. I would love to see Chael fight again. That's a good fight for him, Jorge Masvidal. They should make that fight somewhere. Bare knuckle or boxing or MMA. Either way, I'd watch that fight. Chael Sonnen versus Jorge Masvidal. Because he ain't fighting nobody else.
Starting point is 02:11:07 That would be good. Chael Sonnen's like a retired media guy now, isn't he? Yeah, but he fought Fedor like two, three years ago, right? Three years ago. He's probably 44 now. He's still on steroids and big. And training. You'll see him with a mouse under his eye.
Starting point is 02:11:25 Chael's ready to go. I can't let you get close to me. I can't let you get close to me. I love Chael's son. He's fucking hilarious. He's had some of the funniest shit ever. So Jorge Masvidal said, you juicehead.
Starting point is 02:11:41 I bet you won't say any of this in person. Keep that same energy when you see me and she replied you know since i don't spend much time in county jails homeless shelters methadone centers or dodgy unlicensed outdoor barber shops it's unlikely we'll see each other in person anytime soon that's so good unlic barbershops is the cream on that cupcake. That's very funny. Because you can see Jorge in videos getting his awful hairline braided up, cornrows and stuff. He's got this, I think he's Cuban or something,
Starting point is 02:12:18 or maybe he's got some heritage. Jorge's a piece of shit. It's what he is. Colby Covington is the heel of the UFC.fc he's the maga hat wearing donald trump's my president stay off the railroad tracks you know kind of guy um he talked all that shit to jorge and then whooped his ass for 25 minutes in front of the world and jorge couldn't handle that so he assaulted colby on the streets he ran up behind him wearing a disguise, punched him in the back of the head,
Starting point is 02:12:48 and then ran away and then laughed about it on social media. They just finished that legal case. What was the result of it? Like a misdemeanor, I think. Yeah, he played it down to a misdemeanor. Dude, that makes you look like a bitch as a professional fighter, running up in a disguise in like a cape, punching someone and fleeing. That's where you lost.
Starting point is 02:13:09 That's really embarrassing. He had an opportunity. This is only two or three days after the fight, right? It's three days after the fight, if that. He just lost the fight. Score is posted. This street assault thing doesn't make him look like the tougher guy to me. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:13:24 No. No, you don't look tough. It makes him look like the tougher guy to me. Yeah. No, no, you don't look tough. Sucker punching people. No. I mean, if he squared up with them and beat him in the street, like,
Starting point is 02:13:31 okay, Colby, you want to go again? Colby says, well, heck yes, I would like to go again. I enjoy this sort of thing.
Starting point is 02:13:36 And then they square up and Jorge wins. Now the record's tied, but that's not how it went down. Yeah. No, you probably didn't want that because he just got his ass kicked three days earlier based on what you're saying. That why mma is the best fucking sport man because you can talk all that shit you want to if you're lebron james yeah you come here
Starting point is 02:13:52 i'm gonna put this ball in that hole over there so many fucking times bro you don't even know and when you try to i won't let you uh-uh that classic basketball trash talk. You just try and shoot that ball right through that hoop. Not going to happen, Buster. I would love it if someone did that. But at MMA, it's like, I'm going to knock your fucking teeth out on Monday. I'm going to choke you in front of your family.
Starting point is 02:14:18 Your wife's going to watch while you submit to me. I will be on top. You will be on the bottom. Your children will watch and you will submit to me. If you're on top. You will be on the bottom. Your children will watch, and you will submit to me. If you're on the other end of that, you're like, shit, man. How'd you know my family coming and all? That's what Khabib did to Conor.
Starting point is 02:14:34 He played baseball. And they take half your pay. And then Khabib is like, talk now. Talk now. Say something as he's beating the fuck out of Conor McGregor. They take half your pay when they win? Well, you don't get a win bonus. If you win, you get usually double your show pay.
Starting point is 02:14:53 So with a few exceptions, the contracts will be like this amount to show and usually an equal amount to win. 50-50. So it's like you lose half the fucking money. Another 50 if you whoop his ass. So when you're down there, you're like, he's getting an extra $50,000 just to humiliate me. And it was mine, $50,000 just to humiliate me like and it was mine $50,000 and then you look on their social media after the fight and it's just like so many fat retards
Starting point is 02:15:12 being incredibly mean every losing fighter just gets berated if I lose a fight in front of the world you can bet your ass like I'm watching fun videos on YouTube I'm not even opening social media. No chance.
Starting point is 02:15:26 It's hard not to. Well, you're right. And that's mentally healthy. But I bet a lot of them don't do that. I bet a lot of them just hate scroll. Doom scroll, I guess it's called. Yeah. Listening to the world make you have a hard time.
Starting point is 02:15:36 Yeah, you can't do that if you're an internet personality or like a much more intense fighter. Like you have to not engage with that stuff or it'll turn you into a weirdo. Oh, I disagree. You've got to like counterattack immediately.
Starting point is 02:15:48 You've got to be out there doing like with Rand. That is not what, yeah, he, yeah, this happened. Look at it. You'd be calling him a cheater.
Starting point is 02:15:55 Call him a fucking juice head. Say that you got poisoned the night before. Say that you had to drink a whole bottle of wine just to fall asleep. Whatever you got to make up, say it was dick pills. These are all real excuses, by the way, the MMA fighters have used. I couldn't sleep. So I had to drink a whole bottle of wine just to fall asleep whatever you got to make up say it was dick pills these are all real excuses by the way the mma fighters have used i couldn't sleep so i had to drink a whole bottle of wine before the fight so it wasn't me you saw oh someone poisoned me the night before i slept for 14 hours never slept more than six hours in my whole life like these are all
Starting point is 02:16:19 like unbelievable they put something in that iv bag they put something in that iv bag yeah i'd have all kind of fucking excuses about why you beat me up and why next time it won't be like that because we're having the next fight in my country, not your country, where those people cheat. Your scale was wrong. Khabib didn't make weight when he beat Justin Gaethje. That was bullshit.
Starting point is 02:16:39 I'd be screaming about that all day every day if I was Justin Gaethje. The MMA andc in particular is just full of cheating lying bullshit and horse shit making weight is a funny thing because like you'd think it'd be very obvious and objective and it's a scale right we're measuring weight this isn't real it's it's not a it's not an art. It's a science. But then sure enough, when GSP's in Canada and he has to make 155, or was it 170? I think it was 155. You know, it was 155
Starting point is 02:17:14 point anything you want because you're GSP. You know, and Nick Diaz got pissed off about that. They were rounding, I think it was they were rounding decimals at that particular show all of a sudden in Canada and they were like, we've they were rounding decimals uh at that particular show all of a sudden in canada and they were like we've always rounded the decimals and it's like okay bro because that's not what we do everywhere else on the planet we don't round decimals we're way into the scales
Starting point is 02:17:34 here but um there's there's also lots of uses of the towel that old wrestling trick you know they put up a privacy towel when you strip down butt naked to try to make weight and you push down on the towel and then what what they most commonly do now is they use an old-timey scale like your doctor or your your high school coach had or whatever and they don't wait for it to stop jiggling if it passes the that middle mark that means we're straight they don't let it stop they're like oh passed it 155 and i remember recently the lady's like, what? What was the weight? 155.0. He lost six pounds
Starting point is 02:18:09 in an hour. 155.0. And then they call the next guy's name out. It's horse shit. It's horse shit. Yeah, if any sports rigged, it's fighting. I was in a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competition. If your guy doesn't cut five pounds. So I don't cut weight very often.
Starting point is 02:18:26 I've only done it twice. So I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I just read about it and tried it. And I think I cut, if it wasn't seven pounds, it was eight, which is considered not a ton. Those are the easy ones. But for me, it was a lot. I had never done that before.
Starting point is 02:18:41 I'd never tried to sweat all night while sleeping and shit like that. And I weighed in and I made it and then i get there and they just ask you your weight like they were just asking people the weight they wanted to compete at and i'm like what the fuck like i i think i made 170 and i was like i could have come in here at like 173 like that would have been so yeah everybody else is honor systeming it and you're like just like with a cane coming in massive before we jump to the next thing we're overdue on advertisements so we're gonna hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors 25 okay calling all pka fans celebrate the veterans in your life this weekend with 25% off your favorite products at pharodistro.com. This week only, use code VETS, V-E-T-S, for 25% off your order. If you're into smoking flour, you'll want to check out our brand new THCA buds and pre-rolls.
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Starting point is 02:25:56 Get 10% off anything over at Derek's site. From cum pills to sleep aids to weight loss supplements to protein powder. Check it out. Code PKA, Code Jizz. Egg salad? Egg salad, potato salad? to weight loss supplements to protein powder. Check it out. Code PK. Do you like egg salad? Egg salad, potato salad? I do not like any of those because there's mayonnaise in them.
Starting point is 02:26:13 Yeah, that's why I asked. Yeah, it's just I don't like. And it's also just gross visually. Like even from when I was a young kid, I remember going to barbecues and is always being stoked on like brats, burgers, the meat and you know if you have if you have coleslaw there you want you want the vinegar kind of coleslaw because it's sharper that's better and then i would see people eating fucking potato salad
Starting point is 02:26:35 and i'd be like why are you eating that half digested vomit it's disgusting like i want if i'm at a barbecue and we have everything like i remember in texas we went to this place i don't remember the name of it, but it was wild. They gave you a platter. It was way too much food for one person, but it was everything. I didn't want eight different kinds of barbecue meat. I do want eight different sides, though. I like potato salad.
Starting point is 02:26:56 I like all that stuff. I like egg salad. I love chicken salad. Tuna salad. You preferred all of that to the meats? Yeah. I've said this before Tuna salad. You preferred all of that to the meats? Yeah. I've said this before on the show. I think genuinely a part of me wanting to eat so much meat at the age of six and seven was because, and no one ever told me this, but that was when Mark McGuire was jacked in like 1996 97 and i remember thinking in my head like if i eat a lot of meat i can be big like mark mcguire and it didn't pan out you just gotta drink milk man i did i didn't get
Starting point is 02:27:34 not like mark mcguire size you'd have been a real bitch if you hadn't eaten all that barbecue but can you imagine oh my god if i was bigger than rookie mark mcguire that's true that's true less athletic by a lot but definitely bigger than rookie mark mcguire like what did he pop for really oh i think he was on the real deal yeah wasn't the cream that he eventually agreed to on the back end of it where he's like i used testosterone and i used these supplements but it was a cream i didn't inject anything and didn't he fall back which does seem better like if you're an athlete especially back then and they're like dude it's a cream you rub on this is not hard drugs okay like this is like ben gay this is this is good stuff he's like yeah give me give me fucking two tubes you know i'd rub that
Starting point is 02:28:19 shit on quite no questions asked i also think my infatuation with dinosaurs made me want to eat more meat because i would see the t-rex eating meat and be like that's cool that's me yeah that's me dude like people meme about those kids literally me like i was that fucking autist like i'm gonna be either a dinosaur or mark mcguire i just need to power through these ribs that's when we all need that's when we learned that like cameron ford wasn't mentally handicapped but he wasn't one of us when uh when in fourth grade it was like career day or whatever and you know he still he still wanted to be a dinosaur okay well i had grown out of it you know mostly but we were nine. We were nine. People were saying, like, marine biologists, you know? People had heard of some shit.
Starting point is 02:29:09 We were nine. Yeah, you have to have, like, career day at nine. Like, they have you come in for, like, a special thing, dress, or at least my grade school did. When we were, like, eight or nine, you had to dress up as something.
Starting point is 02:29:20 And I believe because I had a cop costume, I just wore that. Because I had no desire, even at the time, to ever be a police officer. Really? Yeah, no, I never wanted to do that. I think right now, obviously I can't because I'm a felon and everything, but what I want to be is a part-time policeman. I don't want to do all that work.
Starting point is 02:29:45 I want to come in for three hours a day. I don't want to do all that work. I want to come in for three hours a day. Anyone can be a vigilante. No, I need the car and the belt and the uniform. That's going to give me my authority. You sure you don't want to be a fireman? I want to fight fire. I want to go to the people
Starting point is 02:30:00 who start the fires, Woody. I want to go right to the source. Give me three solid hours a day cruising the streets. I can make a difference. You should just join a gang and then you can make citizens arrest on your free time if you wanted to and kill the ops. You need that badge. You need that thin blue line between you and
Starting point is 02:30:16 reality that allows you to do whatever you want. This is the badge right here. The crip. I watch an hour of police activity a day and it's like they can do whatever they want you know they drive fast they can shoot they'll be like civilian cars right behind the bad guy who's clearly trying to get away they don't give a fuck don't give a fuck it's it's it's why if i was gonna if i was gonna begin a life of crime, I feel like
Starting point is 02:30:45 arson would be a good one. What? You don't know what you might be doing. Look at my power. I'm a good arsonist. I only burn down prisons. They can't get out. Yeah, that's murder.
Starting point is 02:31:02 Yeah, I'm solving problems. Burning houses down? Taylor will do anything for his next fix of meat yeah burning humans in a prison yeah they go on the news and it'd be the masked arsonist and the public could be like i don't care what they say he's a hero taylor you could it could be like to catch a predator but you just bolt all the pedophiles in your neighborhoods uh doors shut and then burn their house down just burning people alive for being in public when they were 19 you shouldn't have done that in that that college town you sex having sex with a 12 year old when he was 12 yeah i just get all the that's a good one though yeah arsonist who only targets pedophiles yeah not an effective way to target pedophiles no i think you want to steer clear of the arsonist who only targets pedophiles yeah not an effective way to target pedophiles no i think
Starting point is 02:31:47 you want to steer clear of the arson that's just a when i hear arson i think bad things you don't think like you at least get to be like wow look at all that fire i made you need to be a jewel thief i don't know how to steal jewels look at me i did this look how it consumes everything it touches there's like every photo all around the saint louis area it's just me just standing watching everything really happy about it yeah i just got a fire starting fires but but i genuinely like being a policeman for like again maybe three hours a day ah that would be fun not morning hours either no we gotta sleep after lunch i'm thinking evenings i'm thinking evenings
Starting point is 02:32:31 the night shift so it's harder to see you know what's going on i definitely want a dog too i want to be a canine officer uh and i'm gonna use him a lot he's gonna be he's not he's not in the back he's in the front seat with me he gets out with me for the traffic stops he's up on your car like sniffing like a fucking move like a fucking move officer canines coming right in your window right i don't i don't need him back there he can't he can't operate and i'm a little less respect though for the dog cops because you're like this guy can't even handle his shit without a german shepherd um i got my partner everywhere i go. I love that when people in the car are like, look how many y'all it takes. Look, y'all pussies.
Starting point is 02:33:09 Look how many y'all it takes to whoop my ass. It's like, yeah, this exact number is really good at whooping your ass. I love that. They grind him in the asphalt, put their knee on the back of his head. It's good shit. I like when the dog gets involved.
Starting point is 02:33:21 I saw one recently. It's a lady cop, and she gets all frazzled right away. And she's got two people to deal with, and the white guy's drunk, and he's just like, fuck off, bitch, and starts walking away from her. She shoots her taser at him twice, pepper sprays him, and he's just like, fuck you, walks away from his truck, just walks away.
Starting point is 02:33:44 And so she locks up his buddy who's still in the car, who's terrified. He's done nothing. Locks him in the back of her car and leaves him there. And her and her dog go after this white guy who's just like, fuck off. Her and the dog track him for like a mile. The dog is so poorly trained that it's playing with the guy. It's playing with the guy. He's just standing there. She ends up shooting him. She ends up shooting him in the leg or something. They have this big fight. She's all out of breath. She can't help the fight.
Starting point is 02:34:11 These two dudes are wrestling with him. She's got her real gun waving it everywhere. Just everywhere. She's like, I don't want to shoot you. I don't want to shoot you. I'm like, she wants to shoot him so bad. Eventually, she just plugs him in the leg for the fuck of it. She has to take her belt off, put it on the ground and lay on the ground while her dog runs everywhere and barks because she's so out of breath from walking through the woods.
Starting point is 02:34:39 It was it was she fat and a woman. It's her camera. So you don't even know. She's just it's a woman, so you don't even know. It's a woman is all you know. No, but she was huffing and puffing. And the dogs suck. Those dogs are like tens of thousands of dollars, I think,
Starting point is 02:34:55 like $10,000, $20,000 for one of those canine dogs. It's like a real deal canine. And he was just like playing with the guy. He didn't know who the bad guy was. And I don't buy that she didn't want to shoot him oh no she definitely won i imagine a big part of becoming a cop is like i kind of want to shoot somebody yeah yeah i think you got to be down for that i saw one the other day where the bad guy pulls a gun on the cop and the cop bitches out and runs away and he's like please don't shoot me please don't shoot me and the guy's like give me your gun give me your gun please give me your fucking gun copper and the cop's like no you can't have my gun leave me alone
Starting point is 02:35:32 and he's like running away with like crybaby voice and like radioing for help and shit it was pathetic it was rough yeah you can't do that as a cop you got to go down you got to go on guns blazing yeah you got to spray that fucker down you got to go down you got to go down guns blazing yeah you got to spray that fucker down i was i was like what's happening right now why is he running why is he running from a man you see what he looked like no yeah yeah you know white man i don't know um i saw one where the guy like gets overwhelmed by some random dude and the dude grabs the cop by the leg and starts dragging him across the ground behind him like a cake you know like a caveman would carry a cavewoman.
Starting point is 02:36:06 He's dragging the cop like that. The other cop comes. He's like, what's going on here? Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Great. I love those police activity videos. Did you see that white guy that killed the people that were blocking traffic? Yes.
Starting point is 02:36:20 77-year-old dude. They fucking edited out the part right before he shot, though. I want to see what happened right before he pulled the trigger that's bullshit when you show me 10 minutes of horse shit and then it cuts and there's a guy laying on the ground and like look at the bad white man he killed that poor person what did you cut
Starting point is 02:36:37 fuck that smoke those guys he got house arrest for that really he even got to go home faster. I hope so. That's fucking awesome, dude. If you blocked traffic so far, it happened like two days ago. Blocking traffic is not cool.
Starting point is 02:36:53 Very shitty. Unbelievably selfish and narcissistic. The clip I saw of that guy who did the shooting, I only saw it briefly, but it looked like it was the most casual, like, I gotta get home for the game. Bam! Like, he just blasted this guy.
Starting point is 02:37:10 It was, I don't know, I think that's enough for maybe cool guy of the week. That guy fucking rocks, dude. I think anyone who stands in the, there should be laws. Like, that's the next Florida law. Like, someone should get DeSantis on this, because he's all about this kind of shit. If you're blocking a major thoroughway or whatever, however they want to define it,
Starting point is 02:37:30 don't have to slow down at all. Cars belong in the road. If someone's blocking the road, you can assume that they are trying to end your life and proceed as you may. In other words, run them the fuck over. I love when they run them over. I like when they don't even start to slow down.
Starting point is 02:37:46 I like when they slow down. They seem to speed up. Cars are kind of made for scooping people up and rolling them off, it seems. Maybe they even designed that into them because it's safer. But if you roll over some cocksucker, they just get rolled around over and over like a ball of dough up under the modern workings of a vehicle and drive shafts and it's all hot and dusty and sharp under there they always come
Starting point is 02:38:12 out like that guy at the end of robocop who falls in the acid like like all yeah yeah someone's got a bigger problem than fucking co2 now don't they it just got real yeah it turns it turns out those fossil fossil fuels really are killer huh yeah you don't care that much about those turtles now that shit just got and i really i remember doing the blm stuff when they would just like walk out on an interstate highway in a curve and there's that one clip of a car who's definitely speeding and probably drunk but i mean you know it's it's late night we're driving we're having a good time whatever a curve and there's that one clip of a car who's definitely speeding and probably drunk but i mean you know it's it's late night we're driving we're having a good time whatever but he hits these two women going like i don't know mach 3 so fast and just just slings her
Starting point is 02:38:59 body so far like it's it like a ping pong like a ping pong ball she bounced it was wild yeah yeah anybody in a road i got no um i got no care for it all it's for it's for cars you don't belong on the road yeah at risk of sounding a little bit insensitive they deserve it you know they're even asking for it i i believe that yes i believe they are asking for it i mean if you know what were they wearing in the middle of the road? I didn't know that, too. Was it reflective? You had your reflective gear on? I dare you.
Starting point is 02:39:30 Oh, yeah, that's a good question. What would you stand in the road and protest for? Because literally nothing for me. There's nothing that would make me stand in a fucking highway traffic. Here's a recommendation. Black foot is not good standing in the road wear. I promise you. It won't end well. Yeah, no, there's nothing I would protest like standing in the middle in the road where i promise you it won't end well yeah no there's there's nothing i
Starting point is 02:39:45 would protest like standing in the middle of the road because i have the sentience to be like someone's gonna barrel into me and i'm gonna die looking retarded that's the worst way to go out that's what like i'm gonna be my memory will be a meme of people sharing it around like get a load of this idiot like just getting bounced the protest should make the target of the protests have your full attention right like you should protest outside the white house or city hall or i don't know some dude's house maybe or protest like in a way that gets the attention of the person you're trying to change his mind if you just block up fucking i-95 headed into philadelphia what are you doing all those people are not your
Starting point is 02:40:25 enemy like the blm guys destroying their entire neighborhood because they're upset yeah that's it's like what are you doing it's wendy's yeah i've sold it on the show before my my buddy who worked in uh who worked in ferguson missouri in like 2013 or whatever it was when it kicked off there. He hated his job so much at the time and he still had to go right into Ferguson the next day after those riots and go to work. He was texting me. He's like,
Starting point is 02:40:56 Taylor, the only thing I had going in my life was going across the street to McDonald's at this shit job and they burned down the fucking McDonald's. Why did they have to burn? He had no care about anything else to do with the protest, the Ferguson stuff.
Starting point is 02:41:12 Michael Brown didn't care. He's like these fucking bastards. They burned down the only thing that put a smile on my face, which was some nuggets and Buffalo sauce. I don't get it. And some people make it racist. And, and for me,
Starting point is 02:41:24 I don't care it. And some people make it racist. And for me, I don't care what color they are as long as violence is being meted out on them. I really enjoy watching it. It could be a black guy or a white guy as long as they're getting ran over. I like when they shoot them with rubber bullets. It's sad that that guy that you mentioned
Starting point is 02:41:39 got shot. Sounds like he didn't deserve it. But normally, I'm a big... I like it when they break out the rubber bullets. That was a big rubber guy big time i don't it's a shame that the hoses got such a bad you know reputation in the 60s uh because the hoses are so effective i saw someone i don't even know where they were but it was a israeli protester he had a israeli flag and he's like stood up too high or something and and they must have a scope on that bitch because they just like hit him with a spurt of water from that cannon and sent him flying
Starting point is 02:42:10 so I love the water cannon but I want to see that stuff that we saw on the Discovery Channel in like 2002 I want to see that sticky foam gun I want to see that stink ray that they were talking about I want to talk about that sound ray they had this one thing they advertised that there was like a giant microwave oven where you feel like it was 110
Starting point is 02:42:30 degrees like baking your like you know like you're just like that's so evil like it's just like cooking break that shit out where's that shit at like like they made it seem like it was just right around the corner we were going to have all that cool shit for Disperse. And I love the box. I don't like that. They use that. Because not everybody who lives around there has to deal with fucking shit. Zach, can you figure out what the Israelis have some sort of special stink stuff that they use?
Starting point is 02:42:59 It's ineffective on Indians. Oh, I did see that news story. Where it wasn't working against the Indians. I read it did see that news story where it wasn't working. I read it online. I don't know. I saw that too. I thought it was a joke. It's called skunk slime
Starting point is 02:43:15 or something. It's got a catchy name. If we're talking about stat points, Indians have a hundred constitution. They can deal with anything but apparently they shoot this smelly shit on uh palestinians i guess when they're getting rowdy um oh my god so that's that's a stink cannon i think i'm guessing i choose to believe they're they're shooting
Starting point is 02:43:39 something so putrid on these people that they have had enough they don't want their freedoms anymore imagine getting covered in your face with stink juice whatever it is have you ever been pepper sprayed yeah i did it to myself my third youtube video ever to try to get views it didn't work i i same same story might work better now um it really fucking sucks it really fucking sucks um which is why i like seeing when they use that too. That would completely demotivate me in 99.9% of situations. If we're mad about some horse shit, you pepper spray me and I'm completely out.
Starting point is 02:44:17 I'd have to be fighting for my life. What non-lethal weapon would you want to have if a dude was getting aggressive with you? Pepper spray. Me. Pepper spray, not taser. Definitely not taser. If could get um the bear spray like the the one that looks like almost like a small fire extinguisher and you sort of squeeze like this and has the big um like like gaseous almost cloud of of effect that would
Starting point is 02:44:39 be the ideal weapon if you're going hand to hand with with anybody um unless you're something i don't you gotta be some you would be training with that fucking sword if you if you're going hand to hand with, with anybody. Um, unless you're something I don't, you gotta be some, you would be training with that fucking sword. If you think you're going to be better with that than I am with my bear spray, cause you're going to completely change your mind when you get shot with bear spray, but with a taser,
Starting point is 02:44:56 the closer they are, um, the closer the two barbs are going to be when they impact you, your target, you know? So there's a, there's an ideal different and, and the further the barbs are going to be when they impact you, your target. So there's an ideal difference. And the further the barbs are, that's the distance that's going to be affected by the arc of influence that's being pumped into your body.
Starting point is 02:45:12 So if I get one in the top of your shoulder and one in your ass cheek, you are going to get dropped like a sack of taters. Because everything between the top of your shoulder and your ass cheek, including your whole glute system, is to start like locking up at a rate. I don't know what the, but if they both hit the same nipple, I might be able to shake it off. You will.
Starting point is 02:45:31 If, if I shoot you point blank and they, but they go in from, they go into you six or eight inches apart, then it's just like a real bad stun. And especially if you're a larger person and you're strong and you're not, maybe you've been punched in the mouth before. There's different,
Starting point is 02:45:50 you know, some people are tough. Some people are used to getting hurt like oh you this is the first this is the third time i've been assaulted today come on motherfucker and then some people are like oh my god i've never been touched before well i'm shocked uh so if you get that i've seen lots of people just pull those things out or just sort of brace themselves and eat it. And then come on, give me some more. But if they're spread apart, you you drop like a sack of potatoes. But again, a taser takes five seconds at a time. I don't know. It automatically does five when you pull the trigger and then you can give them another five. But there's a brief pause between the two.
Starting point is 02:46:22 If you just kept rapid firing the trigger, it probably just rides you. It probably keeps you on a continuous ride. But when I shot Jeremy, I gave him five and I was so hyped up, you know, the adrenaline goes and time is just moving for you. So I was like, damn, that was not cool. That five seconds felt like one second to me on and, you know, recording. So I gave him five more and, and, and you know he's a tough guy but he was crying when he got up it's it hurts a lot i'm told but still if someone's trying to get you
Starting point is 02:46:50 you're probably just gonna piss them off and they'll take it away from you and then they end up like torturing you with it or something i'd rather have pepper spray dude i got pepper gelled uh directly into my eyes by my dad and i tried to read dr seuss because i thought i could like do it and then read a little bit but i couldn't yeah if i had to play tag for a million dollars i couldn't after getting pepper sprayed like it was completely that's kind of what i did so my video was i get pepper spray and then i try to shoot targets like it's like spray me and then i turn around with a gun and try to shoot the targets and i immediately was like nah not even a little bit not a little bit not even not even so bad dude it was like 45 minutes of fucking
Starting point is 02:47:25 absolute hell you ever you ever had it woody no it's so bad oh my god shit i haven't been really any of this stuff i've been what's not tasered what's like weaker than stunned i've been stunned those it's funny like it gets you and you're like ah big reaction but if you decide not to react you can it's almost voluntary yeah it's a it's it's just pain and it's when if you're cutting me i'm not just afraid of the pain i'm afraid of the damage i don't you know that that's why i'm so afraid of being cut but when you're stunning when you're getting stunned you can kind of be like i fucking hurt stop fucking doing that to me i can eat about three more seconds of this and i'm gonna get it off me you can kind of pull one of those especially if it's not like a cattle prod i've never been hit by cattle prod i've only been hit by like army surplus like stun guns that you
Starting point is 02:48:21 might see in a glass counter at a shop or something and those hurt but you ain't incapacitating me and the idea that a lady might carry that in the hopes of defending against a male attacker i gotta tell you you might end up getting tortured with that or like made to comply with it yourself that's the most likely outcome right oh dude i'm gonna hit a little on that bitch i'm taking her straight down getting wrist control and fucking making her tase herself that's literally how we go i'm going high crotch like john jones when she starts going off bounce kicking that other leg out we're going down our neck joke it's absolutely every time i couldn't i couldn't beat a five-year-old off the pepper spray there's just no way i wouldn't if you wanted to take me down right now what would you what would your takedown be? I would probably go, I guess, do you tie up? Do you collar tie?
Starting point is 02:49:09 Yeah. My main takedown would be a shrug. And if the shrug doesn't work, then I'll do a double through the shrug. But if someone doesn't tie up, I like low singles or snatch singles. But I'm a big upper body guy. I did a lot of upper body takedowns. Inside trip, Uchimataata that kind of a thing but dude mma is makes it so hard to take people down i'm having a terrible time in this mma training yeah what's going wrong you put your face in the wrong spot when you try to do a takedown
Starting point is 02:49:37 i'm training with uh this guy like one of my main partners is named matt semelsberger he's in the ufc he's five and four and they're just like so incredibly strong there are they're also good at jujitsu and wrestling but then just way better at striking than me so it's like even if i get him down for a second then they just get back up and just go and kick my ass we're doing so many rounds like look at these blisters on my feet dude hmm like my you know the uh you familiar that that that fighter uh he's one of the um russian muslims he's the guy with one eye yeah what is his name what is that guy's name mumunop or whatever anyway the russian the russian fighter with one eye that only gets to fight in abu dhabi because he can't
Starting point is 02:50:15 get it's clear to go over here when he was i don't know if you saw his fight a couple weeks ago he was doing more damage from the bottom than i've ever seen like tony ferguson would have some nasty elbows from the bottom i've seen him do that before this guy was striking from the bottom effectively like beating the guy on top of jesus i didn't see that um he got no takedown defense whatsoever he must have gotten taken down eight times in the fight uh this is he's like a kickboxing dagastani guy yeah years ago i was training m MMA. I was at Joe Lozon's gym. I won the takedown, but I was in the guy's guard.
Starting point is 02:50:50 Having had more time jits than striking and pretty much no time at that point mixing them together, I'm in his guard. I've got my elbows together. I've got my hands on his chest or something. I'm figuring out what my next move is. I'll keep my extremities
Starting point is 02:51:05 protected and he punches me in the face and i was surprised that like i like i didn't i forgot about that part of the game you know like i i made sure that my arms weren't vulnerable to any of the things he was going for that my neck is pretty good my arms were good he punched me in the face and it's just like yeah rocked it seemed strong but i just had to be like like shake it off and get back it's like cold water yeah it hurts worse than you think to get punched by someone that's laying on their back it's like what the fuck dude yeah if you can find this fight i'm talking about that magma whatever the fuck uh when i'd fell off i've never seen anybody that busy from the bottom he. He does what, as someone who's never done any of this shit,
Starting point is 02:51:47 when I watch it, I'm like, why don't you just go get him? This guy did it. He was just like, he's just working, throwing so many strikes, all sorts of strikes. Whatever you can do, staying so busy that the guy on top is flabbergasted by the whole thing. Was he elbowing from the bottom? When he could, yeah.
Starting point is 02:52:05 But lots of just strikes, lots of punches shirley knows a lot more than me but it used to be punching from the bottom was giving the guy your arm for an arm bar like 15 years ago people would take advantage of that people would bait you into it now it seems like it's more effective but elbowing from the bottom you don't really quite control my arm in the same way yeah yeah my jiu-jitsu bottom game is completely nullified in mma like i fucking got a guy in a triangle uh yesterday at uh inspiring and he just fucking drilled me with two hard punches with my head on the ground i just like let go and was like oh my god yeah yeah we were talking about guard passes and as you know there's a million guard passes in this thing but they're like if punching is allowed just punch him in the face. It opens right up.
Starting point is 02:52:45 And my dumb ass was like, well, I wouldn't. But yeah, sure enough. Yeah, it's kind of a natural response. Did you see Yuri Prohaska's interview? He's fighting. You're just making up names now? Yuri Prohaska. Jar Jar Binks is fighting Charizard on Wednesday.
Starting point is 02:53:03 I'm taking Charizard. See, Yuri Prohaska is fighting Charizard on Wednesday. Ooh, I'm taking Charizard. See, Yuri Prohaska is fighting Alex Perea. Great fight. And so you've got a European samurai versus a South American native. And they're both gigantic human beings. Yuri's the real fucking champ. He had to leave for shoulder surgery. Whenever I hear that whenever
Starting point is 02:53:26 like yeah he's gonna be out for one year he's dropping the belt you know he it's the worst shoulder injury we've ever seen but he's right back in a year like ready to contend for the belt against alex perea i call steroids a hundred percent of the time and i don't care i'll just i don't care anymore shoot him up you know like. Get strong. Get ready. Get in there because Yuri's a scary motherfucker. He did a surgery that left no scars. Yeah. Yuri, in his interview, he's like, I am here to fight
Starting point is 02:53:53 because too many fight now. Pussy men. Maybe I should not say this way, but it is true. Pussy men, they do the fight. I am here do fight. How you say with man versus man.
Starting point is 02:54:10 So in life you feel full. And I'm like, fuck yeah! Every bit of that buddy, let's go! The guy's fighting is huge and terrifying too, so I'm psyched for that one. Me too. Do you remember when it is?
Starting point is 02:54:26 I think it's this weekend. I'm pretty sure it's this weekend. Is it next? I like the storylines in MMA because it's like wrestling for adults. That's what UFC is. It's pro wrestling for adults. They actually do the fighting and a lot of the arguments
Starting point is 02:54:42 and troubles are made up and fake. the good guys are good at faking it and making you believe uh but but i love it what outside of the ufc what's your second favorite combat organization or sport because it used to be um for me i got two right now car jitsu is hilarious i love car jitsu. Combat karate is fucking real as it gets. Combat karate is fun. They beat the shit out of each other. I would have said bare knuckle
Starting point is 02:55:11 boxing. I can't do the cuts. I like Ryzen, the Asian promotion. I don't trust the Asian promotions. Woody doesn't like Asians. That's not it. They're just like... They always fix fights so like you think
Starting point is 02:55:27 shit's fixed here it's super fixed there yeah they put on good muay thai bouts and stuff shout out jonathan hagerty oh okay muay thai is a fun style as i'm a most casual fight watcher here but they're always moving very active like the guys who want to be on their back like a turtle and will sometimes in MMA almost rock back and put their feet up like a baby being changed and be like, come on down here, bro. Come on down here. And we can both look retarded.
Starting point is 02:55:57 I really dislike that. You should be able to head kick from that position. Can you kick someone in the head? Not in the UFC, unfortunately. All right, well, Commissioner Taylor makes that change instantly. You can kick him anywhere else. Yeah. from that position can you like kick someone not not in the ufc all right well if you know commissioner taylor makes that change you can kick him anywhere else yeah i i would yeah they kick their ass sometimes it's like you'll you'll see them immediately be like whoa no one's ever kicked me in the ass like that before i'm going to stand up i didn't know that you were going to
Starting point is 02:56:20 kick for reals i thought we're going to patty cake and both catch our breath like normal and the ref would make me stand you're just going to keep oh you're gonna all right i'm up i'm up like leg kicks are so for i have no concept of what a leg kick feels like i've never been leg kicked but i can see that the that athletes like manly men that i respect their toughness when they get them they're like fuck you i can't remember who it was i saw recently it might have been one of those like i saw cormier with perea but i also saw like maybe one of those british bodybuilder guys one of those giant human beings and he wanted to get kicked and the fighter was like no i'm not going to kick you you don't understand have my daughter kick you and he has like a like a eight or a ten-year-old kick him and he's like what the fuck all right never mind then the kid like this little girl walks up and goes
Starting point is 02:57:10 like flicks her hip over and hits him and you can hear her leg hit his and it goes shit i leg kicks ruin combat yeah yeah it's very boring to watch i like i like that it looks like nothing happened when you say no holds barred it sounds cool but it's not all right let's slow down let's take the biting out let's take the hair pulling out the eye gouging the leg kicks have to go but i'll give you the 12 sick 12 to 6 elbows and the soccer kicks all right that that's that's my sport that's what i want to watch you get you get 12 to 6 is all you want you can you can kick them kick their teeth out i'd love to see it but for the love of god stop ruining people's legs so that they can't move you're crippling him so
Starting point is 02:57:56 he can't fight you you know and connor wouldn't have beaten eight if he hadn't had those leg kicks fight too but i'm just saying come on yeah it's just it's not exciting you said it right I processed it wrong yeah it's not exciting and it's I kind of feel bad for them when I see them limping or when I see a big strong guy who I know is just the best at throwing hands just
Starting point is 02:58:16 it's like when the dinosaur gets hurt the good dinosaur gets hurt in the movie and it's limping now but it's still trying to fight the big predatory dinosaur. Whip your tail buddy. Whip your tail. Little Foot's grandparents are trying to defend T-Rex
Starting point is 02:58:34 Dwight from the P-Train. Eating the neighborhood animals and he's like I'm a T-Rex mom. I was. I had in my head that eating meat was some sort of way to be giant and strong, which kind of pans out a little bit.
Starting point is 02:58:52 But I did have in my head, I'm like, why is a T-Rex so big and strong? It's eating other dinosaurs, consuming their power. You ever think maybe you could take the power of another man? Yes. Make it your own? If I lose my mind and become a serial killer 100 cannibalism is in the mix you let me
Starting point is 02:59:09 know if you if you ever want to because because i think a duo is the way to go with something like that if we if we were if we opposed as a gay couple like they can't even fucking they can't they can't really question anything we do we're gonna be community we could make some moves that's good we're touring the country together it's our honeymoon we have like a bunch of finger bone necklaces on like just shoving it right in their face that we're gay and then they make us they make us on camera because they don't believe we're gay if you're gonna serial kill if you're gonna serial kill like who's gonna be your demographic because i i want to pick one and go with it i don't want to be mixing it up i genuinely want to see we're already having problems like because you can't just pick one demo because then you're gonna get caught oh the
Starting point is 02:59:56 the great dwarf killer like that's why we travel around that's why it has to be it has to be random and totally random. RV or big rig? RV or big rig? RV for comfort, big rig for practicality. RV's also less threatening and likely to get a thorough search. I'd want an RV.
Starting point is 03:00:19 You got a TV in there, it's comfortable, we could have snacks. Yeah, RV's the way to go. Big rig because you can blend in. RVs is not that many on the road. We don't want to blend in we want to be uh unassuming we want you to come and uh oh you want to yeah come out come hang out with tonight we're gonna play magic the gathering you've never played yeah bring your girlfriend van life ghost that's true yeah they're gonna think that this guy's way too lame to be a serial killer he just wants to talk about age of
Starting point is 03:00:43 empires and magic the Gathering. Talk about how afraid of heights he is like a bitch. Taylor's crushing oxys up in his wife's drink and I'm getting the power tools ready. Fuck yeah. We're putting up a shelf. I would kill illegal immigrant Guatemalan men because
Starting point is 03:01:00 what are they going to do? Yeah, but see you you segment yourself too specific there and now you're gonna be eight kills in and you're gonna be driving around going for the love of god where's where's my illegal immigrants don't call the cops just saying yeah that's my tactic yeah homeless people would be i feel like a lot of the most prolific serial killers padded their numbers with homeless people a good bit. I'm going to be real. I don't want to kill minorities.
Starting point is 03:01:28 I'm just saying it. You've got to kill white people? Yeah. You can't be some hoity-toity, I only kill one kind of person. You're not Batman. We're bad people in this scenario. We're murderers.
Starting point is 03:01:40 And if we're going to try and take the top spot from whoever has it, Albert Fish or whatever, then we're going to have to throw a broad net. Yeah, let's make it racial. We're the equality killers. No one's safe. All right, here's the real question. When we get caught, do we want life or the death penalty? Because if we make it a racial thing, we definitely get death,
Starting point is 03:01:59 and we get this whole thing over. But we're not going to get caught if we throw a wide net and we're just firing guns i wasn't gonna marry you if you'd said anything other than what you just did that was a test no we're not i love you exactly i love you too that's how you do it if you want to get away with it how did jeffrey downer get caught he was just killing homos and he was hanging out in in gay bars and they're like hey all the people going to these bars a lot of them are dying as well like like he didn't know how to put the hammer down i think you need to be like like there's a time and a place to play with your
Starting point is 03:02:34 food don't get me wrong but let's get them out to the cabin out in the woods let's drive the rv out on some trail that we know maybe on uh that new mexico is good you know you got all that uh that government property no supervision whatsoever once and once in a while sandy ground we we break off from our normal plan of like homeless poor dejected people who aren't going to be missed and we like do it in a big like bel-air mansion or something and then we can live there for a month or so until it's it's time to move on. How do we swing that? With ill-gotten gains?
Starting point is 03:03:10 Is there a way to make this a financial crime as well? Could we kill rich people, perhaps? I haven't thought you guys should consider that. You should never, ever kill pretty white girls. Especially if they're blonde. It's been just shown time and time again. When these girls get like captured or
Starting point is 03:03:25 go missing yeah oh my god natalie holloway exactly it's a big problem we're gonna write a book about your ass nancy gray's gonna make a career this vander sloop guy so bad turns out she was right the whole time and he killed another chick before they finally got him yeah never seen a book about a guatemalan man have you not known maybe maybe direction no but seriously though if you if you went on like a little yeah they're easy to overpower if you went on ridge hikes in hawaii these like crazy dangerous hikes where you're walking on the crest of the mountain you could i did one uh the stairway to heaven hike i was thinking like yeah you could kill anyone up here it's fucking terrifying i thought someone was
Starting point is 03:04:02 gonna kill me yeah just shove you and then it's like turn around hey i know what you're thinking motherfucker you're thinking i'll just push old brandon buckingham off this mountain no i don't see i'm gonna let you know something right now i'm waiting on you yeah dude we could we could really goose our numbers just by camping in that suicide forest in japan we just camp in the suicide forest just people walk in and it's like we're barely even doing anything wrong I'm not allowed in Japan dude we're already serial killers we could sneak into Japan
Starting point is 03:04:32 I'm not sneaking into Japan what is this World War 2 I feel like it wouldn't be that hard to find some shady guy with a boat he'll take us in and then we bring camping equipment with us. We go straight to the suicide forest. We set
Starting point is 03:04:48 up camp there. Every time someone comes in, we don't have guns because we're not trying to make a ruckus. I want to be a classic serial killer driving across the United States in an RV with my lover and just doing our thing.
Starting point is 03:05:04 Maybe like the Richard Ramirez thing where you like target the color of a house or something. Is that what he did? I think so. I could be mixing things up, but I think, yeah. I've never heard of anything like that, but I like it. Like, like what if we, we had some weird way of connecting the victim so that an investigator would
Starting point is 03:05:19 fit, would connect them all, but no one else would. I kind of like that. Like we only killed guys wearing like a very specific kind of wristwatch or something how long do you think before we got bored and started like sending clues in or something like that right away right away we haven't we haven't even killed someone yet and we're sending honestly that's the most fun part because i don't want to hurt anybody but like it kind of maybe playing that cat and mouse game like like the uh kyle i'm getting tired of cutting all these copies of people up for the letters nord vpn works when you email the fbi right let's just do that oh that's the worst with btk when he's like hey uh you guys can't
Starting point is 03:05:57 like backtrack a floppy disk can you and they're like no what is this star trek yes fine like good cops aren't allowed to lie to you like a floppy disk with like his fucking rants and raves and it's like got his name i wouldn't want to be crass about it though like albert fish who killed all those kids and sent that letter to that's to the victim's parents talking about how he cooked their child's ass in the fucking oven and ate it with Chianti and fava beans.
Starting point is 03:06:34 I wouldn't want to be gross about it. That's fucking insane. Jesus Christ. Didn't the BDK killer wait in someone's backyard for them to let their dog out and then come in through the back door when they let their dog out? Was that him? I don't remember that. Richard Romero, the Night Stalker, he did all sorts of crazy shit.
Starting point is 03:06:52 BTK, I don't know which one was worse. Romero, I think, was very rapey. I think he raped children, too. Old women as well. I know that they released his photo or whatever and it was almost like a movie like people on the street recognized the night stalker like there he is and got him and like
Starting point is 03:07:12 whipped his ass a little before the cops could get there like an angry mob like captured the bad guy and beat the shit out of him before the cops could get there i think he'd been wounded as well there's a whole netflix thing about that it's really good oh yeah it wouldn't happen nowadays they would just be taking tiktoks of him they wouldn't kick his ass they'd be like yo can you fucking do this could you do the dougie whatever they do can you do the dougie on this guy's dead body yo i'm here doing the gurdy with richard ramirez the fucking night stalker you badass man yeah badass look at him he got that riz and everything look
Starting point is 03:07:46 at his trench coat he like right there be sure to subscribe to his channel and check him out yeah i think uh i think that would happen people are so quick to get their cameras out and like make a moment and get some clout because they're standing next like i i'm surprised it doesn't happen more with like the war i mean shit you see some of that war footage and people are clowning around in the war right like you see jokers having fun with that and it's like i don't know it's uh we'd be going hard mode because being a serial killer now is way way way way harder than 100 years ago, 60 years ago. There's so much more. It's almost
Starting point is 03:08:28 like when they try and bring up records from baseball players in 1887. Serial killer totals don't count before DNA. You say Ty Cobb's name, I'll serial kill you. Leave this conversation alone. That's my
Starting point is 03:08:44 hometown, goddammit. Anybody who was hitting dingers in 1911 when World War I was a far off threat. He thought dingers were silly and a silly way to play the game. So he intentionally didn't hit them. Really? Yes.
Starting point is 03:08:59 He was challenged by a reporter and he hit, I think, five in two games? Damn. I like Ty Cobb. He's also the guy who pistol-whipped a pocket thief to death in the streets. Right? I caught a guy. So he got one.
Starting point is 03:09:15 Yeah. I mean, he pistol-whipped that guy to death and got away with it. Ty Cobb's pretty cool. I didn't know that about him. Yeah. Ton of hits. Ton of hits. How many other professional athletes have killed
Starting point is 03:09:25 not the obvious ones like oj obviously and caitlin jenner oh yeah yeah yeah never forget oh yeah oh actually that was bruce jenner that was bruce dude the ultimate modern day catch 22 i didn't do that that was bruce that was bruce jenner i'm a woman now. I'm aghast that you would even misgender me with the actions of Bruce's dad. That's crazy. Just like his victims. Who's the guy?
Starting point is 03:09:56 What's his name? A couple NFL guys have killed. What's that fucking guy's name? He killed some people. He ran him down. Claims he has no memory of the event, but he, like, killed a couple people with his car. Really? The Ferris Bueller guy killed people with his car? Matthew Broderick? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 03:10:13 The tight end Todd Heap used to play for the Ravens? Did he kill someone? He reversed back over his three-year-old child in his driveway. Oh! That's gotta be uh that's so fucked i hope you don't have him in your fantasy league yeah that's dark what was his name something that's dark oh yeah that's well there's the classic right with um who was the guy who got
Starting point is 03:10:42 caught was it junior say our somebody it was who was the guy who got caught? Was it Junior Seau or somebody? Who was the guy who got caught paying to have somebody murdered? Or maybe he murdered him, and then it turned out he was gay, and they outed him as gay while he was in prison, and he offed himself. Hernandez. Aaron Hernandez. Yes, Aaron Hernandez. Junior Seau killed himself, I think.
Starting point is 03:11:01 That counts as a murder, right? I mean, so did Hernandez. he killed himself in prison when they it was so fucked up dude so like he was in prison for murder like he had killed he had killed somebody but they outed him as gay like on the morning radio and i've heard and they're like making jokes about how he's i bet he didn't he used to be a tight end but not anymore and i guess he heard the jokes and killed himself that night like that's fucked about how he's... He used to be a tight end, but not anymore. Ho, ho, ho, ho! And I guess he heard the jokes and killed himself that night. Like, that's fucked.
Starting point is 03:11:30 Oh, Oscar Pistorius. The Blade Runner. The Blade Leg guy. That guy's fucking innocent, dude. Yeah, he was denied parole in 2023. No fucking way. He shot through the door. I thought it was an intruder in my bathroom doing
Starting point is 03:11:45 his makeup yeah for those of you who aren't familiar with the blade runner story this guy oscar pastoreus was famous for uh doing well in the olympics with no fucking legs he's got these blade legs they call him the blade runner anywho his girlfriend or wife or some shit is in his bathroom and he gets his gun out and just blasts her like 20 times through the door and his story when the cops get there is he thought some like intruder is in his house in his bathroom and so he shot first ask questions later and they convicted his ass they were gonna get my shampoo like what the fuck you killed him in your bathroom and like the trial was crazy he's like you know he had time
Starting point is 03:12:25 to strap his legs on you know get his guns like you had time to think about this did you never look next to you in bed and notice your wife wasn't with you oh he had his legs on yeah i mean he had yeah he had to like get him on to go kill his wife man i thought he would have at least been like all right i have to stay in the bed and I have to just have the gun in my nightstand and then fire wildly because they'll obviously know if I start athletic taping my nubs
Starting point is 03:12:54 and slipping my blades on that this was premeditated. He's got like shooting gloves on. Chris Benoit is another one. Oh, Chris Benoit. That's a big one yeah he that's the classic that was that made me afraid to do steroids a little bit you know but then it like like clearly it was the cte yeah not i i bet if he was doing like especially trend or something like real
Starting point is 03:13:18 intense that that can affect your your mood and well-being so much like that could have compounded it but it was clearly cte that guy went on family yeah that was so they like how can you kill your family that's i'll never understand that i i saw a police activity video the other day they show up and this dude has killed all three of his sons in his front yard and they're laying out in the yard dead like little kids oh he's just and he's just sitting there like that's a sinister man that's yeah that's who will serial kill we will go through we'll comb wikipedia for cases we think we're mishandled and then we'll go dispatch our own brand of justice did he break his neck with a lat pull down machine or am i misremembering that i thought
Starting point is 03:13:58 he hanged himself on something right the didn't he kill somebody with like a weight machine that did he dig up the next he killed himself using his weight machine? Did he? Zach said he did. He killed himself using his workout equipment? I think he pulled the lat pulldown machine on with a bunch of weight, put his neck around it, and then let it go and snapped his neck. Something like that. That's interesting. It looks like he used a weight machine cord to hang himself
Starting point is 03:14:20 by creating a noose on the pulldown machine. That's so fucking insane, dude. Yeah, that's not how you want to go. I don't want to give suicide instructions, but you can start Googling if you're going to hurt. Woody tried to kill himself when he was a kid. He tied himself. He took a belt, put it around his neck,
Starting point is 03:14:37 hooked it to the ceiling fan, and he's just like, ah, hanging there, and the ceiling fan fell in the room. So he failed at killing himself and then felt even worse about himself because he failed at killing himself. But you know, that's, that's not how you hang yourself. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:14:51 Oh, he should have feel bad. Now you're just, now you just gotta, now you gotta go to Lowe's. Like fix your ceiling. You need some cords. Yeah. You're embarrassed. Spackle. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:15:05 Embarrassing as hell. I think Chris Benoit was because he didn't shoot himself in the head he hanged himself and so like they checked his brain afterward and it was all ate up and destroyed from taking a thousand wwe concussions our uh you know there's a mma legend guy named bj penn he's a hawaiian guy uh he you know back in the day he was the goat and he's got cte real bad people call him out on it he was like cte does this is on social media like cte doesn't exist um and he lists like four of the greatest boxers like hearns ollie tyson blah blah blah blah like these guys didn't have it it's made up just like the coronavirus. They used CTE to hide murders. That's what he said.
Starting point is 03:15:49 It's like, there's CTE for you. See, he's paranoid. Not making any sense. He's mixing it with alcohol too. That's another sad story. We're going to see more and more of that. I don't think it's going to be a long time before the positives are uh outweigh our um stop outweighing the negatives right people are going to keep letting their kids play football because
Starting point is 03:16:12 it's so much goddamn money we're not gonna you know and the nfl is so popular we're not we're not gonna stop they're just gonna keep slamming their heads together yeah jesus christ yeah that's fucked up i think think BJ Penn's story is going to end up really sad, I think. I agree. It's already sad, but I hate to say this, because dark jokes aside, he's probably
Starting point is 03:16:35 going to hurt himself eventually, because he's got this weird mixture of a few things. It's definitely CTE, it's definitely substance abuse, and it's definitely an odd personality to go along with all that so and tony ferguson's right on the cusp of it too you know he had that dui crash where he flipped his truck like a couple months ago and he's a guy who's had not done nothing but be a champion contender for fucking 10 15 years he doesn't know any other way he has cte or you just think after his career, he's likely. I guarantee he does.
Starting point is 03:17:06 Justin Gaethje broke his brain. That man has absorbed more damage. He's only been knocked out once, and it was just like, what just happened? It's that clip when the guy got kicked in the chin, and his face gets mushed. Michael Chandler. That's Tony Ferguson. Yeah, that guy needs to retire. Yeah, that's going to be a good fight. The Ga guy needs to retire yeah the gaethje the gaethje
Starting point is 03:17:25 yeah that's gonna be a good fight the gaethje ferguson fight was like really gross just like the sound of his face getting hit it's like yeah oh my god he was he's eating those punches to the just to the nose and you could see him just like shaking the pain out like shaking the blood off and just like coming back from war and it's like dude why isn't your corner throwing the towel you have no path to victory you're not going to take justin gaethje down you don't have ko power it's gonna keep going you're in a meat grinder get out get out it looks like a monkey dude he does he looks like a fucked up down syndrome monkey how many g's is he pulling right there his brain is slamming into the bottom of his skull right now and with the same for whatever force it takes to pull your face skin and flesh down like that
Starting point is 03:18:12 and make you look even his hair is flat against his skull like like his skull is accelerating so quickly toward the goddamn moon his brain can't keep up it's slamming into the bottom aren't you so happy you didn't aren't you so happy you didn't aren't you so happy you didn't try to be a ufc fighter every time i watch ufc fight with with a girl or somebody who's not like as watch as much as me i'm like this is the worst job in the world sewers sign me up for the sewers sign me up for like rat killer sign me up for garbage man i ain't getting in that ring for 12 12 fuck you 12 like not even like i i um i got offered to bare knuckle box uh diego sanchez about two years ago offers that and uh exactly right i was like that's where we start
Starting point is 03:18:58 fuck all y'all and people were like come on and i'm like you don't understand you do it what the fuck you don't understand what you do it! What the fuck? You don't understand what you're talking about. That guy's a monster, first of all. But I did play into it a little bit and talk shit against him, and he responded, which was hilarious. He's like, I can tell this Russian guy's on steroids, but I've fought cheaters my whole career,
Starting point is 03:19:20 so who cares? He bought into the whole thing that I laid out. It was funny. He's clearly an easy guy to like. my whole career so who cares like he bought into the whole thing that i like laid out i i was i was it was funny he's clearly an easy guy to like or maybe he's just a pro fighter and he knows how to like hit it back he probably cte diego i think he's mentally ill too yeah he's always been like that though like on one hand this diego sanchez really seems like he has cte on the other i saw him 20 years ago and he was like that he's always been crazy i think he's always been a little mentally a little bipolar or something um you
Starting point is 03:19:51 gotta be a little out there to want to jump in a cage and fight another dude in your in your shorts right dude brandon's right here exactly i'm doing it against another youtuber so it's like that's a much that's a much better proposition i would never do it against diego sanchez like fuck that yeah that yeah absolutely not or maybe like boxing though like like boxing diego sanchez it's like all right i get a concussion i'll sell a concussion for you know six figures or whatever but if you're gonna bare knuckle somebody and like get your teeth knocked out like who's paying to put my teeth back in? I'm going to lose money on this. I'm going to lose money if he knocks my teeth out.
Starting point is 03:20:30 You get your teeth knocked out in that sport regularly. I see it happen all the time. It's as regular as face cuts are in MMA. If you guys were to bet, would you bet that I would win my fight against that guy? Oh, the person that you're likely to face in your fight coming up?
Starting point is 03:20:46 Yeah, against the black belt YouTuber and it's mma or mma mma i think i'm a pretty big underdog i think what you need can you strike what you think you can strike with him i would think i would be able to outstrike him i mean i think what you've got to do is start a campaign of terror in which you you point out that all he's going to do is take you down because he knows that's the only place that he can win that he can't fight a real man's fight and sort of play that angle and tempt him into a stand-up fight with you um because you know like you said he's a fucking black belt and you know i don't know what that means is that a kmart black belt or did he go go to Brazil in some cave and train under? No, he's very good at jiu-jitsu.
Starting point is 03:21:28 And so it might not be. But then again, you've wrestled for 20 years. I think he's durable enough to close the distance. That's my fear. And then, yeah. He's a very strong guy. Like, yeah, I feel like the more boxing it is, the better your odds are.
Starting point is 03:21:44 Also, getting submitted is seems way better than getting knocked out for sure is the goal pretty much to like backpedal and make them pay for trying to close the distance is that no i plan on grappling with them and i train at crazy 88 with people like you know uh tim spriggs is a black belt world champion vanessa griffin black belt world champion chris chan black belt world champion so i roll with those guys all the time and Yeah, they beat me, but I feel like I don't know. They have to work at it.
Starting point is 03:22:09 I believe in myself. It's going to be a fight. What is his MMA experience? What has he done in real striking sports fights? He's a professional boxer who's 0-3. 0-3 in boxing, yeah. I'm 1-0 with my one win against
Starting point is 03:22:26 Ice Poseidon, so that's pretty much I'm 0-0. What kind of gloves are you wearing? I think 4-ounce MMA gloves. Alright, so based on the two sentences that we know about this guy, maybe he's never been punched in the mouth with an MMA glove before. Maybe it's a different kind of fight. We keep talking about something
Starting point is 03:22:42 that I don't know very much about. Every time I've been punched in the face i fucking hated it that's what i i didn't want to go i didn't want any more all right we're done here all good uh mistake i bought all that boxing gear when i was like 19 or 20 or something like two a set of everything because when you're the kid who has money and the and your't, you might as well buy two. And then got rocked once. And I was like, all right. No more of this. I hate getting punched.
Starting point is 03:23:11 Don't need this mouth guard anymore, do I? I love the tough guy. They're like, I love it. I love eating shots. I'm like, do you, dude? Do you really? Because it fucking sucks so bad. They started it.
Starting point is 03:23:19 They were going to set me up to fight over it. It was a couple of years ago. But I forget how it evolved. It had something to do with me up to fight over. It was a couple of years ago, but I forget how it evolved. It had something to do with me and Keemstar. I think it might've been an MMA. If it wasn't, it was boxing, but it was basically,
Starting point is 03:23:34 I think it was MMA. And I'm like, this is so lopsided. Like I, I don't know. It might as well be Diego. Like I, I can't be overflow.
Starting point is 03:23:42 I can't, whatever happens in there will be what he decides to make happen my declined yeah well they wanted me to box him and i was like there's just no point like if he's oh and three it's like not impressive if i beat him in boxing but i think if i beat him in ma that would be impressive you know yeah definitely he's a black belt and i'm not afraid to lose at all i mean i think it's cool to take a challenge that's difficult like i'm not i have a lot more humiliated yeah i'm way too much of a bitch to fight someone in a ring certainly i'd do it there's no way i would do any sort of uh mma or bare knuckle um i wouldn't do it at all but
Starting point is 03:24:15 like the thing i would prefer is that we put on those big floofy boxing gloves and we have a pretend fight for two minute rounds actually you know you know, I would fight Kyle because I know he would hate it as much as I would. And we'd be like texting beforehand and we'd be like, all right, whoever. You know what we do? We'd spend the whole six months camp choreographing the best fight ever. There'd be sweat popping off your head and stuff.
Starting point is 03:24:43 There'd be like all sorts of Matrix dodging. What's the dance fighting? Capoeira or something? Yeah, yeah. I'd do a barrel roll through your legs and you'd look confused for a moment. You'd go to pocket sand and I would just pretend
Starting point is 03:24:59 like I couldn't get it out of my eyes while you worked my middle. Someone pulls the John Cena. Full WWE. You're talking to the crowd and I'm like behind you like holding my finger up like shush like that's the kind of like youtuber
Starting point is 03:25:14 fight that I would want to be part of pro wrestling youtubers because you actually have to be very very in shape and athletic to be flipping off of that shit you give me six months do anything where people don, very in shape and athletic to be flipping off of that chair. You give me six months to do anything where people don't beat me up and I'll be presentable. I'll let you hit me in the head with a chair. I also only get eight weeks to train for the fight.
Starting point is 03:25:35 I went from being completely out of shape to now in eight weeks have to get ready for a fight. So that's also not great. Any performance enhancing drugs? I would love to, but I'm pretty sure we get drug tested and we get drug tested at the last one what yeah i've never done pds because i'm scared of the uh like it killing my fertility but yeah you can free sperm though i think it would be badass to be like fucking super roided up um some six three imagine me at 250 dude fucking just you'd be enormous
Starting point is 03:26:05 into just barreling down the the street i've no one wants to do interviews with you anymore yeah it's say what i was asking kyle if he predicted you'd pack on a lot of muscle because you have a thin frame yeah i'm six three 175 i'd probably pack a lot of muscle right it's testosterone it's it's The testosterone is saying, fuck genetics. Put some muscle on there. It doesn't matter. You're just going to build a lot of mass if you train correctly
Starting point is 03:26:34 and eat correctly and just take testosterone. You'd get huge. I'm tweaked up right now, dude. I've got to beat this. If I got roped into a fight, I would do PEDs as a way to get out of it. And it fails the drug test. I'd come in there.
Starting point is 03:26:52 I've got veins on my forehead. I'm so vascular. Little do you know, this is a King Star organized fight. Hey, Taylor failed the drug test, but he looks amazing. Well, looks good to me. You're like, wait, what? The smell test. You're just like, all of a sudden you hear,
Starting point is 03:27:11 Boagria! The opponent arises from the smoke. Wouldn't it be awesome if I fucking head kick KO'd him or hit him with a knee or something? Wouldn't that be so cool? I mean, a head kick KO in a YouTube match would be the biggest highlight from any of those ever has that anything like that ever happened no they've only done boxing but watch i'm gonna throw that i'm gonna throw the head kick he's gonna catch it take me down immediately get me into full mount and then
Starting point is 03:27:36 arm triangle was it more challenging to get a mma match sanctioned or whatever like like approved than a boxing match it's still not not officially approved. We're waiting for the paperwork and stuff, so hopefully it doesn't fall through because I've already spent a bunch of money on the fucking camp. Okay. I don't get why it's so hard. If everyone's agreeing to it. What state are you fighting in again? Nashville, Tennessee.
Starting point is 03:27:57 Oh, you're good. Okay, never mind. I thought you were going to say Connecticut or something. You'll be alright. The Indian reservation would be perfect. Yeah, they go to the Dakotas. It's supposed to be the first influencer MMA fight.
Starting point is 03:28:13 You're going to kill it. I'm going to watch that. That would be fun. I am too. The only other one I actually watched was Boogie and Wings. It went exactly how all three of us on this show predicted it would,
Starting point is 03:28:29 which is like Boogie can't even keep his hands up. He physically can't keep his arms up long enough to even throw a punch. His shoulders don't work, so he can't raise his arms up to even. And Wings is significantly taller. It's seemingly four inches taller or something like his trash talk was better too yeah i liked him wings like he came out rapping let's never forget that he came out never forget the wings of redemption look credit for credit credit is due okay i call him like you it. He came out rapping and like, like,
Starting point is 03:29:07 like it was well done. I bet he didn't get to practice it. He came out, he nailed it. Like wasn't out of breath. And then like went through the ropes. I won't say athletically, but like, it's fine.
Starting point is 03:29:21 You could very easily embarrass yourself stepping through ropes. I've never stepped through ropes. I would probably embarrass myself the first time. I'd be ginger. I'd want to try it out first. I'd want to go out. You remember that scene in Rocky? Not you, Taylor.
Starting point is 03:29:32 That scene in Rocky where he goes to the ring the night before, the night of the fight, and he's, oh, the short's the wrong color, and he's out. You've got to go out there and see what's going to. I want to go out there and experience it before I go out there and fight there. But I don't think he got to do any of that shit. And he nailed it every step of the way. And then he whooped the guy's ass.
Starting point is 03:29:50 What a win for him. That was incredible. The pre-fight press conference, Boogie's like, I'm gonna kick your ass. He's like, I don't know, man. It looked like those stairs kicked your ass on the way in. What did Wing say in his style? He's like's like boy i'm gonna beat
Starting point is 03:30:06 the bricks off of you like and i like watching that clip because that was in the boogie documentary i watched last week i was like yeah that's like every bit of wings is confident in saying he's going to beat the bricks off of you like like wings had to go into that fight so confident like i'm going to fuck boogie up so bad boogie is here for his 10 grand paycheck he has no delusion that he's even gonna land a punch during the the like little boogie documentary thing like you know how like words come up like fade in the documentary style while a clip is happening or a still shot it came up like during the clip of him and and uh wings fighting and was like boogie
Starting point is 03:30:50 failed to land even one punch he didn't land that was such a good documentary i watched that last night wings that's how wings could have like topped himself if he had like come on give me one right here come on give me one right here. Come on, give me one right here and let Boogie throw some. Because Boogie
Starting point is 03:31:08 is incapable of hurting him. That would have been great. That would have been great. That's got to be his finest moment, right? Wings? That was a great moment for Wings. It was not a... It was good credit to Boogie for getting in
Starting point is 03:31:24 the ring at all in his shape and like even trying certainly speaking of that documentary brandon did you like the weirdest part of that whole thing was well obviously there were too many scenes of him in the tub i didn't like that there's a lot of tub scenes he spends a huge amount of his day in the tub like a hippo like splashing i'm a habitual bather and he's he's doing too much he's semi-aquatic it was like early in the documentary and so i didn't think they'd lead off with something this absurd he was like and you know and it's not my current girlfriend but his favorite memory my favorite memory is i was sitting in the bath with this girl, this young 20-year-old girl.
Starting point is 03:32:09 And she had a thing where she loved rubber ducky toys, little rubber duckies. And so we both sat in the bath together and I watched her play with her rubber ducky toys. And I was the happiest I've ever been. And I was like, don't say that. Like, don't never say those words in that sequence. Like, you fucking weirdo. Now, just as I was very calm, like you see him, you know, when Wings had his incredible moment,
Starting point is 03:32:38 rapping on a stage in front of maybe a million fucking people, who knows. That's some creepy, creepy shit. Dude creepy dude it was there's a word i want to use and i but but but ghastly it was so ghastly we'll we'll work it and then i suppose because it's less uh oh my goodness those little girls in his bathtub with the rubber duckies and their their mental age um must must be yeah just on the cusp of of illegality just my goodness that it was funny that like it was a pity play of a documentary like to try and get you know more of that and every single comment like i saw like one with like hundreds of upvotes that was like fuck fuck this guy Glad everything's falling apart.
Starting point is 03:33:28 And hundreds of people were like, yeah, this guy's a ghoul. This guy sucks. He's the worst. Damn, that video's gotten 500,000 views since I watched it yesterday. But yeah, the exact quote is, one of my favorite memories was playing with her. It's us sitting in this tub, her playing with rubber ducks as I washed her. And then when I got out, I took her to bed.
Starting point is 03:33:44 It was one of the best nights of my life. It was worse than what I recall. I wonder if it was a frost. Like, I want to go back and find that episode where he was on here because like, you know how memory can be weird.
Starting point is 03:33:55 Like you can watch a TV show and somehow it'll be part of your memory. If you think about it enough times, but didn't he describe either his dream girl or maybe a past girl you know he described his dream girl and it was like an 80 pound petite japanese woman it was something like that maybe like like like 18 19 years old little little Japanese girl. Where did I come up with wanting the girl to pop pimples on his
Starting point is 03:34:28 back or something? Because that's seared into my memory. That sounds familiar, but it could be from you telling me on the show. See what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he might have added the 18 or 19 year old part too. I don't think he said that, did he? I remember petite and Asian.
Starting point is 03:34:44 I mean, we recorded it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember petite and Asian I mean we recorded it I'm sure we filmed it he said listeners will know they'll leave a comment about it I heard it and thought this you know he wanted like a petite hot Asian porn star type chick
Starting point is 03:35:00 wait a minute I'm remembering it better now I don't think it was what your dream girl was. I think we were just talking about, like, I think maybe he was single at the time. We're like, all right, so what kind of girl are you looking for? And then he, and instead of, say, what we wanted was, you know, a heavy set Midwestern gal.
Starting point is 03:35:19 You know, maybe she wears a Carhartt jacket and boots. She drives a Toyota. Goes her way around a dairy farm. Dog of a woman. You imagine a big bitch. She's 220 and stocky, and she's okay with a big fella, and she'd be the alpha in the relationship. She's that kind of gal.
Starting point is 03:35:39 That's what you expect him to say, because that's what we'd all do if we were him. We'd find that gal, that good old country gal to make us some dinner and and like be okay with that we were 400 pounds but he was like oh you know there's this japanese anime wait wasn't he low-key dating the girl he described and just didn't say it he he was low-key renting the the the kind of girl that he wanted to to date and look we all rent it or or buy it in the end anyway but but when look sometimes he's clearly paying a premium because that it cost him was it a quarter mil is that what he spent 200 000 yeah and he said as much as
Starting point is 03:36:18 5 500 in a night what kind of fucking prostitutes is he fucking with that's unbelievable well yeah i have this idea that he's paying you fuck boys before between him and them what'd you say have you fucked prostitutes before yeah remember the first time i was on the show i was just back from thailand and i was like how much during his quarantine dude max like 300 that's like 300 is like thank you crazy that's like that's what i was going to say. If you're spending more than $300, it's something special. Yeah. It's just insane.
Starting point is 03:36:51 I also don't understand the Andrew Tate's of the world obsession with fucking an 18-year-old or dating an 18-year-old. Can you imagine how fucking annoying they would probably be? I can't remember the last time I hung out with a fucking 18-year-old girl, but they're probably unbearable. I think those dudes are talking about wifing an 18 year old and then training her to be like you're the best your ideal specimen lady which sounds
Starting point is 03:37:14 awful creepy when you say it the way it is when you say it yeah i saw you were like going in on like that red pill crowd on your twitter a bit. Dude, I fucking hate the whole red pill people so much. Andrew Tate, Sneako, Myron Gaines. I want to kick all their asses so bad, but they're such tough guys, they will never agree to a fight because they're fucking afraid. I know who Andrew Tate is, and I know of Sneako. He's like
Starting point is 03:37:37 similar red pill, like alpha male. He's the guy that made up a fake rape allegation about me that kind of stuck for like six months and had everyone call me a rapist and my phone number leaked and my parents harassed and it was just like months and months of harassment that's lame yeah it was awesome and now he won't fight me so it's really cool he won't even fight you after he won't fight me and he's like bragging on it so isn't he short he's six two he's six two one seven oh oh okay
Starting point is 03:38:03 right in your weight class maybe I've seen him stand next to some big fucking people maybe this is a completely different crowd Zach can you get his picture who was that fucking TikTok guy or whatever who has the big black security guard who goes around being a piece of shit
Starting point is 03:38:19 Jack Doherty that guy's a pussy too I'd like to beat his ass such a scumbag I hope somebody i can't say that these guys should be forced to fight i mean these guys are such fucking pussies they should be forced into it like he's walking through the mall doing like mega man shoulders bumping into people and when like and immediately some dude's like the fuck's your problem you want to fight now and he's in like his big gigantic security guard comes and steps in the middle of it. And it's just like,
Starting point is 03:38:48 you're an awful person. You're an awful person. That's Sneeko, I guess. Is he wearing a corset? Yeah, his shirt is missing. Yeah. He doesn't look tough. Is he trained in fighting at all?
Starting point is 03:39:03 He's been posting stuff from him boxing since 2019 and yeah that's nice he repeated nine times that i threatened to rape his girlfriend and then had my phone number leaked and he was only five constantly harassed shitty yeah and now he won't even not he won't even pay the piper and meet you in there yeah yeah how many times he knows you're gonna beat his ass zero oh. But yeah, I would love... Oh, it's this guy! Even if this guy beat my ass, right, I would have so much more respect for him. I wouldn't even be upset about it. I'd be like, oh, at least
Starting point is 03:39:32 he got in the ring with me and he settled it and punched me in my face. I would be so much happier if he would just punch me in my face instead of doing whatever the fuck he did. You would fuck him up. There would be no chance. So what is... Is he Andrew Tate adjacent where it's like yeah women are whores or i don't even i've never consumed any andrew tate content i couldn't play
Starting point is 03:39:54 with his voice he admitted to going to a sex party and sitting crisscross applesauce in the bed while a man fucked his uh girlfriend they admitted to going another time and eating his girlfriend out as another man fucked his girlfriend and the dude's balls dragged on his face and then he uh i made fun of him for it and said that i was going to run a train on his girlfriend like she asked me to last time i saw her because i went out to dinner with him and his girlfriend and they went out to dinner with him and she wanted you to fuck her uh i mean she they were trying to fuck people they ended up like hooking up with two people that were at that dinner um so i was obviously taking a dig at him like you know i'm gonna fuck your girlfriend like people say when they're in beef and then he took that is that i was brandon buckingham word for word said i'm going
Starting point is 03:40:33 to rape your girlfriend which is totally and i bet he's a big doesn't like fake news guy his his bio was like big truth through funny he's such a fucking moron Now he's Muslim, but then I have video clips of him just last year saying he's Jewish, so it's like he's just a flip-floppy little boy. That's a weird conversion. That's a weird flip-flop. He's covering all his bases. Just jumping to every party.
Starting point is 03:40:58 Actually, is it though? Because they're both Abrahamic religions. They both have that almost identical diet. I guess it makes sense to slide from one to the other now that michael jackson went from black to white this dude can go from jewish to muslim and so did uh sammy sosa uh yeah he went from black to pink that was vitiligo or something right i thought he did some sort of dye or something because he looks like he looks like whatever that pink uh cereal mascot is that come they used to come out in ha something because he looks like he looks like whatever that pink uh cereal mascot is that come they used to come out in Halloween
Starting point is 03:41:27 he looks like they did one of those wax sculptures but they use spam instead of wax yeah show us a picture of Sammy Sosa wait this was this guy doing red pill content while he was
Starting point is 03:41:43 watching his girlfriend get fucked by other guys no he pivoted he pivoted he watched that happened and then got made fun of a bunch and then did the red pill content but yeah being being uh the target of like fake rape allegations online from hundreds of people definitely had me really mentally fucked up for a bit there yeah it's an unnatural experience but i think that uh i think it was a good learning experience i don't think internet could give me that upset now zach knows that i'm like find a man's best picture i'm gonna tell you sammy looks like a ghoul in real life like that's the best picture it really showed the transformation that's as good as it
Starting point is 03:42:17 gets no no white sammy is disgusting looking like i'm telling you there are much worse but there's one where it looks like his nose has been... He's had nose surgery too, gotten a white people nose. Yeah, there you go. There's white Sammy. Is it the Frankenberry guy? Yes, call it the Frankenberry guy now. Looks like a vampire
Starting point is 03:42:38 made of meat. Propose the Frankenberry guy over black Sammy. I saw a comedian the other day and he was like, you think R. Kelly is in prison right now? Thinking, you know, Michael Jackson song comes on the radio and he's thinking, man, if I could just dance a little better. I could have just moonwalked my way out of this whole mess.
Starting point is 03:42:59 Never would have went down like this. That dude was so brazen with it. We knew he was peeing on little girls when I was in high school. I was in 11th grade when I found out that R. Kelly was a pedophile, and they didn't lock his ass up until like last year. That's true. Isn't that crazy? He had like a Cosby-esque run.
Starting point is 03:43:17 That's insane. I mean, it's a ridiculous run. Like he was, and he wasn't like subtle about it. Like he was rapping about it, and like there was a video of him peeing on a ridiculous run. Like he was hitting it. He wasn't like, he was rapping about it. And, and like, there was a video of him peeing on a little girl. It wasn't even like a video of him.
Starting point is 03:43:30 Like, you know, you can, you can pick on, you give Jerry Seinfeld a hard time. Cause he was like 41 and his girl was like 19 or some shit. And he'd known her for a while, something like that.
Starting point is 03:43:41 Like known her for too long. It's always that Pat. They weren't official until she hit 18 or something yeah it's that pat berry bullshit see so uh rose nama unis has been pat berry's like student slash girlfriend like her whole life somehow like like like like they've known each other since she was 14 like it being her in his jits not his his but like the same gyms and every gym and everything and then like he sort of courted her and then just oh yeah we're together now at some point when she's 18 and he's still with her and he's just it sean strickland straight
Starting point is 03:44:18 up calls him a pedophile on twitter it's hilarious sean strickland does not fuck around he's my favorite like i love like because he's like colby covington but he believes the shit he says that that's the difference like i genuinely believe shon strickland is that kind of guy he's just a wild man you've seen those clips of him yelling at people in traffic no he's getting a fender bender like bullshit and traffic this bitch is yelling at him he's like you got a man you can get out here you got a husband a boyfriend come out here and stand for you someone whose ass i can whip and then another and completely see that's the that's the kind of red pill content i want yeah he's alpha male he's
Starting point is 03:44:59 completely barreling into every room now he's yelling at a man in traffic and he's like fuck you fucking pull over you want to go pull a gun on me no guns no knives pull over and the guy goes you want to do guns he's like no no guns no guns no knives pull over you know I'm not liking my chances without a gun
Starting point is 03:45:19 this guy's the middleweight champion of the fucking world he's gonna beat the shit out of you and then he's gonna post it he's gonna tweet your broken face i've been watching his interviews he's been doing uh like some gun content like he's like in shooting range with the the chick that interviews him and um it's fun i love sean strickland i hope he he's about to fight uh uh dris drickus duplessis the south african uh badass motherfucker the real african the real african ufc fighter uh he lives in africa trains in africa all that stuff i love that i want to
Starting point is 03:45:52 see him come out he needs a black panther outfit they keep cropping it on to him on the internet and i fucking love it um but uh he's very white and he is he looks like an action hero or some shit and uh that's gonna be a really good fight looking forward to that one too the face-off he did with izzy was so out of pocket i don't know how did izzy get away with doing that like screaming in his face like yeah is he screaming his face the n-word um over and over and over um just calling him the n-word and dracus dracus just won dracus just beat sean strickland who's been the gatekeeper at 185 five years now. He beat a guy he is not supposed to beat.
Starting point is 03:46:30 It's usually probably a two-and-a-half, three-to-one underdog, and he just smoked this guy, made it look easy. He's proven himself to be the number one contender, and you don't even let him have his moment. You don't even let him come out there and be like, oh, I'm so happy. I told you I had it in me i always knew you doubted me he doesn't get any of that you get the champ jumping in the ring calling the n-word over and over and over screaming in his face and he's not a real african yeah the
Starting point is 03:46:56 dude's lived in africa his whole life like trained there his whole life it's like what the fuck you you were claiming china two years ago. Yeah. Fuck Izzy. I loved watching Izzy get smoked. It was beautiful. Both times. As beautiful it was to watch Perea fuck him up, getting to watch Strickland
Starting point is 03:47:17 eat him alive for five rounds, and in the closing seconds of the fight, Strickland is screaming at him, come on, pussy. Come on, pussy. Fucking come on, and coming after him. And Adesanya is running. He's running from him. It's like, give me two more rounds and you're a dead man.
Starting point is 03:47:33 Give me two more rounds and he's going to put his hands on you. You're not going to get up. End of the fifth round, the champion is losing. Everyone in the building knows the champion is about to lose his belt. The guy who's about to take it from him says, let's do this right now. Let's go. No more running. Let's's fight this is his opportunity right it's almost like last shot wins you know because you can knock out and win that if you're beating me in this football game 50 to 7 and then you say all right woody next touchdown wins it's a gift and that's the gift he gave him
Starting point is 03:48:00 and he chose to walk backwards scared you could see what what it was is he's scared of being finished like it's a big difference to lose a decision uh or to get finished he does not want to get finished it's a it's a different look has he like never been knocked out no yeah alex got him in the fifth yeah he got ko'd by alex ferreira before that one but then he came right back and like did the same to alex and he had that crazy fucking drawing the bow back three times thing you know as much as i hate izzy that's the that's that's some of the coolest shit that's ever been done in the octagon as far as the celebration do all your backflips you want justin gaethje like do the worm if you want to and throw your knee
Starting point is 03:48:40 out again um whatever your fucking autistic name is can't think of that guy but like johnny walker him drawing that bow back three times on him while he was ko'd and then doing the fake knockout like mocking his son in the crowd that was some cold shit i don't remember mocking his son in the crowd was my favorite part i was there for it i i i thought it was okay people were divided on this whether it's okay to mock a guy's son. His son mocked him. Get that little kid the fuck out of here. That child mocked Israel out of Sania.
Starting point is 03:49:13 His father was like, that kid can dish it out, but he can't take it. His child. That kid entered the ring. That seven-year-old should have not... How old was the kid? Seven or eight. Old enough to say the fuck out of it then, for sure. His dad should have not how old was the kid seven or eight old enough to say the fuck out of it then for sure his dad should have been a better leader there and been like hey don't get involved with the shit talk with this adult yeah what the fuck is he like
Starting point is 03:49:33 god he's like hey like got his attention and like did it like did the mock knock at knocked out are there any like like what's the most insulting celebration in m? I got it. It's actually performed by the same guy we were talking about, Israel Adesanya. When he got Costa down, he did a buttfuck hump into his ass. He submits Costa. I don't remember the particular submission. I may have even TKO'd him. Are you sure about that?
Starting point is 03:49:59 I thought it was a slow, boring decision. Am I crazy? I think you're thinking of maybe Costa and Yoel Romero. Maybe I am. I could be wrong. The way I remember is Adesanya fucking up Costa and at the end doing a butt fuck into his ass. And it was real off-putting.
Starting point is 03:50:17 Yeah, he finished him in the second. The butt fuck definitely happened. Oh, did he? Okay. Yeah, the butt fuck definitely happened. I thought it was mid-fight. But I guess I was wrong. I'm trying to look it up, but he said he finished.
Starting point is 03:50:27 Yes. Yeah, this right here. This right here, Taylor. That's right. Now, this was on the main stage. You got to imagine this is a big pay-per-view main event. This is the all-eyes moment. But on smaller cards, there was a guy who did a thing where he used the other guy like a springboard.
Starting point is 03:50:44 guards um there was a guy who like did a thing where he used the other guy like a springboard he like jumped on the other guy with both feet and did like a maybe even a flip off of his body like he's a diving board that was ridiculous i think that guy got like cut immediately there's a crazy one where shinya ayawiki breaks the guy's arm and right as he breaks his arm he stands up and gives him the finger right in his face and screams at him yeah that's dark i thought tito ortiz thing where every time he beat a fighter and he was a champ he won a lot of fights he'd like dig a mock grave and like bring the guy into it and pull a fake a body bag over him or cram like that see i like that that's theatrical yeah not a minor yeah um you know khabib spat on his opponent and then jumped out of the ring and attacked
Starting point is 03:51:26 his opponent's trainers. That's pretty intense, but I don't like spitting. That's gross. Then all Khabib's cousins jumped in and tried to mob Conor, and he kind of handled him like 1v3. How about the reverse, the most disrespectful loss? Conor breaking his leg and then yelling at Dustin Poirier
Starting point is 03:51:41 like, you whore, send me DMs! You whore, send me dms like he's laying there on the canvas and his leg it wasn't compound fractured i don't think connor's leg is broken yeah broken in half like like his whole leg is pointing the wrong way it must be excruciating joe rogan gets down and gives him a mic and connor connor basically says i was boxing him up on my feet. I was kicking his legs the fuck off of him. Had a little slip here and broke me leg. Your wife sent me DMs.
Starting point is 03:52:13 Your wife sent me DMs. You bitch. You bitch. I'm fucking your wife. He's fucking like, I'll be back. I'll be back, you bitch. You haven't seen the last of me. That's why Connor's the greatest. that's why he's the goat like like we can talk about goat at being
Starting point is 03:52:29 an mma fighter but when you talk about being the goat as far as like the best guy who's ever done the business of being an mma fighter it's conor mcgregor because when he's when he steps in there he knows what he's doing he knows it's theatrics first he knows like like he knows how to how to work his work the psychological uh side of the game and him cutting a promo sitting there in that excruciating amount of pain is just a testament to that it was incredible i hear you i can't get over chael son and i think he's the best who's ever done it i still rewatch his shit sometimes i watched him like he just beat shogun and like you know he he calls out he uses the opportunity having just beat shogun a former world champion
Starting point is 03:53:11 to call out wander wander lay silva and while he's doing it joe rogan like he's holding the mic for him and he pulls it away briefly and he's like you know give me that mic back i just beat a world champion if you think i won't take out a middle-aged comedian just for the fun of it you got another thing coming and i was like you guys did he's he's riffing on the fly he has you know he's scripted stuff new stuff great stuff one of them was something like joe's like how does it feel and he's like i want to know how you tell me how it feels. Is it electrifying to be in Chael's arena and Chael's stadium with Chael's people?
Starting point is 03:53:50 Yeah. He's like, when you're the greatest fighter in the world, they don't call you the greatest fighter in the world. They call you Chael P. Sonnen. Have you seen him in the press conference with Tito Ortiz when he's talking about Tito's wife?
Starting point is 03:54:06 Yes, yes. He says I've made a living with her mouth. Tito always says I've used my mouth to get opportunities. The only person I know that made money using their mouth is his ex-wife. That's good. He has that whole bit about the Naguera brothers about how when they first landed in the U.S. they were, I saw Big Nog.
Starting point is 03:54:23 I swear this is true true he went up to a bus a city bus he tried to feed a carrot little nog was stroking it he thought it was a horse big fella you believe this this actually happened do you believe it happened he's saying this no i don't it's happened i saw it with my own eyes. He's speed. I'm telling you, a man fed a carrot to a bus. And then, like, later it comes back and all of Brazil is so mad. They hate him. He's like, in my defense, I did not know that Brazil had the Internet. It's like laying down extra insults.
Starting point is 03:55:04 Don't you think the jail should should kick ariel's ass for calling him a pussy or whatever he was like no i didn't yeah i called him a weasel or something what did he call him called him all sorts of things it was insane to watch that i saw chael's video where he basically like quashed it he's i think he admitted some uh fault in the argument himself um that he had said some things and and i i thought he did a really fair job of sort of quashing it and then just really laser focused everything on jorge masvidal who's somebody he can actually fight what was unacceptable was when ariel hawani suggested that chael sun is an anti-semite because he did that right on his show i i heard it i synced it
Starting point is 03:55:41 with my own eyes you see he's, I wonder why he's piling on Chael on me all of a sudden. Maybe it's because lately it's kind of fashionable to do that. Maybe it's still fashionable to do that against people like me. That has fucking anything to do with it at all. It's so ridiculous, dude.
Starting point is 03:55:59 He's the worst. He called him a weasel, which I didn't know was an anti-Semitic thing. But I think Ariel called Chael a weasel. which I didn't know was an anti-Semitic thing. But I think Ariel called Shale a weasel. You've never heard? I hadn't heard before. A weasel is just like a slimy shitty guy. The fighter called the
Starting point is 03:56:13 other guy a weasel? It's complicated. These are two media journalists at this point. Yeah. They're both ex-fighter and journalist, essentially. Okay. Well, I can buy a fighter being mad at a journalist that covers their Okay. Well, I can buy a fighter being mad at a journalist that covers their sport. It's not exactly
Starting point is 03:56:30 that anymore. They're more peers at this point. They're like ESPN co-hosts and that sort of thing. Chael has been retired for a while. I think his last fight might have been Fedor, but it's been a while. And now he's mostly... I see him on YouTube. I watch every YouTube video
Starting point is 03:56:45 he does if I'm interested. He does like three or four videos a day. But he talks fighting. He talks mostly UFC and he covers it really well. I like him a lot. Don't like Ariel very much. He seems like an awful human being. What else did he do?
Starting point is 03:57:01 He's just a real instigator. He's a rat. And backstabby sort of sneak. He's like making stuff up. I actually don't know. There are a lot of fighters who don't like him. And I always feel like he's doing a good job. I like him. So I don't understand why other people don't.
Starting point is 03:57:22 He will ask you the thing you don't want to be asked. Like, hey, I saw you got into a beef with this guy. So I don't understand why other people don't. He will ask you the thing you don't want to be asked. You know, like, hey, I saw you got into a beef with this guy. You are looking to put that in the past. This isn't what your focus is right now. But I'm dragging it out because it's the juiciest, most click-getting thing going on right now. He interviewed Jorge Masvidal, for example. And he's like, you spent a little time in prison, huh? Back in the day?
Starting point is 03:57:44 A little trouble with the law? for example and he's like you uh you spent a little time in prison huh back in the day a little trouble with the law this is a guy who's second or third biggest name in the ufc at this point and he's trying to like capitalize on that now now it's time to get those like not just million dollar nights two to three million dollar nights and he's like oh he's like i don't know those was rumors that might not even been me he's like i believe uh you know he's like, oh, he's like, I don't know. Those were rumors. That might not even been me. He's like, I believe, you know, he's like, start getting paperwork out. He's like, you know, he's like, you don't want to talk about it. It's like he goes, yeah, you know, Matt, you know, he's like, oh, could we talk about your father?
Starting point is 03:58:19 Yeah, my pops. What's up about him? He was also in prison for a while. And it's like, holy shit, you fucker. Let this guy make his... Why are you doing this? He's trying to like... UFC's trying to market this guy to a different crowd.
Starting point is 03:58:34 This could be our new Conor McGregor. Look at him. He's ethnic. He's got cool hair and an accent. He's from Cuba. We can have him fight in Florida. It'd be great. It was a bad look
Starting point is 03:58:46 okay it was fucked up you ever seen john annick be like both of these guys are fighting for custody of their children or something which journalists are that that's pretty funny so the fight is happening i like that one it's it's like that moment right as the two fighters are in the octagon and like they're getting the cameras out of there getting the cords and locking the door and everything and you're adding some little tidbits some color commentary oh yeah actually this guy trains uh shaolin kickboxing originally and uh transitioned into muay thai but he's just like actually both fighters tonight fighting custody battles for their children. Jonathan, let us know that he has no idea where
Starting point is 03:59:27 his son is and hopes he hears from him soon. This is like, fuck. And what it was, I actually heard John Addick speak on this, and I hope I don't get it exactly right, but one of the fighters had been like, hey, I want to draw attention to this.
Starting point is 03:59:43 I'm trying to get my kid back, and they're railroading me. Any attention we could shed on this would be good. But the other fighter wasn't down. He was like, the fuck are you talking about my kids for? What are you doing? So it was a mixed bag of weirdness. The UFC is great because it's not polished. NFL is like, every time I don't like the NFL,
Starting point is 04:00:05 but when I watch one of those games, it's like, man, they got their shit together when they put this show on. Like, there's never any dead time on the air. Like, you watch college ball. They'll fuck up occasionally. But the show they put on, the NFL show, was incredibly polished. UFC, not so much. There's a fan dove out and attacked a fighter last pay-per-view hidden dove out of the crowd
Starting point is 04:00:28 like in a movie you know how somebody dives head first like that gives them did that and like hit a fighter costa palo costa like absurd things happen i wonder if like what impact that had on costa yeah none you think none, right? But who knows? Maybe he has an adrenaline dump on the walkout. Maybe that is in his head. He wasn't there to fight. Remember, he had the fucking staff on his elbow. He couldn't make the fight. There's a whole mix-up.
Starting point is 04:00:55 So he's fine. Costa's not a real fighter. Costa's a guy who stays famous and marketable by pretending to be a UFC fighter. He's pulled out so many times the last time he pulled out was supposed to be the last time they were going to give him another fight and here he is again and granted you look at his elbows rotting off but i mean he's just
Starting point is 04:01:15 not a reliable fighter yeah right like you say this guy's falling too many times and then people stop believing you yeah yeah i think he cried wolf wolf three or four times and then misweighed as well while cracking jokes on the internet, but now he's got a staff in his elbow. I think that Charles Oliveira was so afraid to fight Islam Makhachev a second time that he sparred hard until he got hurt.
Starting point is 04:01:38 I think he got himself cut. I think that's exactly what he did. That dude's scared of Islam Makhachev. Everyone should be the fucking Russian Muslims are the toughest motherfuckers on the planet I'm gonna let you know right now they're the scariest toughest motherfuckers on the planet they're about to eat that sport alive
Starting point is 04:01:53 it's gonna be all white dudes I wonder what their win loss record is compared to YouTubers against professional athletes because they're doing well they're like 87 and 1 when you take Islam, Khabib and like a couple more of them well they're like 87 and one like when you take islam khabib and like three a couple more of them you get to like 87 and one or something like that it's ridiculous i mean shit jake paul losing to tyson fury's cousin whatever tommy fury is the only time i
Starting point is 04:02:18 think a youtuber is lost to a professional athlete and and they say that could have gone either way like i keep seeing them give the other guy a hard time about how close that was. I can't watch that shit. The Ngannou fight was the only boxing match I've watched any time recently. Other than the Harley or Wings or something like that. Like a YouTube box.
Starting point is 04:02:36 Wings fight is the best one that's ever been made. Fuck yeah. You guys want to wrap it? Brandon, where can everybody go to find your wonderful content uh on youtube my youtube channel is brandon buckingham you can follow me on twitter at buckingham show and instagram at brandon buckingham uh if you guys want to check out a video of mine you'd really enjoy gathering the dracolos 2023 my good friend donovan castillo cryptaddy passed away and it was his dream to make that video so if you guys could watch that i'd appreciate it
Starting point is 04:03:03 check that video out sub to brandon follow him on twitter yeah um legit can you put that uh link in the timeline thanks pka 673

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