Painkiller Already - PKA 676 W/ Vito: Our Hero Fantasies, Sh*ttsburgh New Jersey, Dwarves Are Hatched From Eggs

Episode Date: December 2, 2023

pka 676 our guest veto taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com and lock and load wonderful sponsors talk more about them a bit later looking good veto how are you oh i'm feeling good i'm doing as well as i can after anti-vaxxer thanksgiving come down with some sort of variant of super COVID. Did you have... Tell me more. What happened? You skipped Thanksgiving? No, I went to Thanksgiving with a bunch of guys who famously are always bragging about

how cool they are because they never got vaccinated. Oh, no. Not only are they like, I would never get the vaccine, but I go out and I lick stuff that I think might have COVID on it because that's how cool I am. You guys can make good turkey, so I guess I'll take a risk. I told those guys I might have COVID. I'm vaccinated.

But I got licked. I stopped wiping my ass entirely around COVID. I said, welcome the germs. Just leave shit all over me. They're hardcore pro-covid guys they want the virus to win dude where are you going where does your family live two years ago what where's my family at yeah like that's such a weird thing to come up no i went to visit like some friends and

they were having thanksgiving so i managed to get sick i'm feeling okay and we got a little bit of a thick one my first i heard from someone that you're doing test positive i'm doing what i tested positive for what for covid i was asking if you really got it i just guessed i i didn't actually take that i don't want to stick a thing in my nose so you just decided to say you had it i mean like I got all the symptoms. I feel like a piece of shit. I don't fucking know. You're like the inverse of Kyle, who, like, in the middle of

COVID season, Kyle's like, I've been shaking and shivering for 10 days now, and then I'm like, do you have COVID? And you're like, no, I'm not getting tested. So, no. You gotta pay for the test. I've got a drawer with two STD tests and two COVID tests I'm always ready

you can at home STD test? yeah you give it some blood some saliva some pee and you mail it in you know like two days later oh okay I thought it was like a pregnancy test where like you know you're titrating over there I'm lensing samples

or anything now if you get three sad monkeys you have aids yes it's like one frowny face two frowny faces you're like oh thank god it's the cherries i'm fine i heard that you're doing a weight loss challenge of some kind. Is that right? Yeah, we're killing it over at BetoLoses.com. BetoLoses.com. Yeah, this is something that the great Dick Magerson set up to shame me into losing weight. Oh, God damn it.

It's at $1,200. So the idea was to lose 30 pounds in six months. Oh, I thought it was a challenge i know right you think this would be easy for me uh really easy for you i think right yeah yeah let's let's just say it's been very easy and i'm very good it doesn't sound easy 30 that's five pounds a month right five pounds a month is a significant amount of weight that's a good... You only lose five pounds a month if you have your shit together. I have

five days left, it says, according to this timeline. I can't spoil it. Do you want to spoil the surprise? Oh, I didn't know there was an ongoing ticker that you were updating. Oh, four more. We weigh in on the biggest problem once a

month of course everybody here should be subscribed at youtube.com biggest problem yes and uh tomorrow is technically dick's calling it the final weigh-in but i still have four more days after tomorrow so you're gonna cut my hands off sounds like it might be close well i'm like i'm like looking up videos of like how guys cut weight before a fight or whatever. You got to water load and you got to go to the sauna and put on a trash bag. And I'm like, all right, let's do it. It's like, when's the test due? December 1st.

What time on December 1st? Yeah, shift close. Say no more. To get an idea, what was your last weigh-in versus your start? Like, how much had you lost in between those? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The public knowledge. The last weigh-in, I was down 17 pounds out of 30.

And that was halfway through the total process? No, that was, like, with a month remaining. Of how long of a start period? Like, six months? Yeah. Damn. I'm off track. You are not doing good. So, the first five months Like six months? Yeah. Damn. I'm off track. You are not doing good.

So the first five months, you lost 17 pounds. Yes. And then in the last month, you need to lose the other 13. Well, as I keep saying, look, I'm happy that I'm losing any amount of weight. Okay? Am I good at losing weight? Obviously not. So what happens if you lose?

If I lose, I don't get the twelve hundred dollars that everybody in this fun little bank where does that money go i just get no the money just goes back to everybody so basically for the rest of my life everyone gets to go hey remember when you could add twelve hundred dollars for not being a big fat piece of shit and i go yeah i know and then i can go i use i took my money back and i used it to buy candy bars because i'm not a fat loser and i'm like yeah okay so basically the audience gets to uh no wait last time you said you said you were buying like black market of zempec from china and mix yeah itself is that part of the plan i used it but then i it was making me sick so i stopped using it that's how

it works you're so i know i know i can barely eat you only need to be brave for like five seconds a month when you get or a week when you get the shot and then you can regret it all week long just do it again on monday exactly here's the thing is uh i also yeah i do hate taking the shots it feels weird to jam a needle into yourself it does but we might go look if i don't make weight which i might wait make it we don't know let's see what happens but uh we have discussed the possibility of going double or nothing if there's some way to uh now you have to gain it back yeah the double is if i don't make the weight i have to gain it all. Yeah. The double is if I don't make the weight, I have to gain it all back. Everything I've lost,

I have to eat until I'm back at my starting weight. That is funny. I mean, that would just be a reference to equilibrium. You can do it, boy. It's like you're off by one pound, fat boy. You got to eat it all back. I'm not here on 2400. Damn.

That's high stakes weight loss i would definitely have taken it more seriously if it meant like 1300 at the end it wasn't 1300 when we started here's the problem is people can keep adding money to it so now they like see they're like oh he's not gonna make weight people are just like pumping money into it to fuck with me i'm sure people aren't bullying you online over this or i could be rope-a-doping them and making them think there's no way he's going to get it, so they keep putting money in to make the total go up. Yeah, this is a camera filter.

Yeah, you don't know. The camera adds 60 pounds. Exactly. The most I've lost in a night is 7 or 8 pounds, which by fight standards is easy. Losing 7 pounds in a night is the easy part it's the next heaven that's hard but i are you close to are you not telling us i don't i'm just like if

you only need to lose 10 pounds that's really achievable all right well maybe maybe after this you should tell me where i need to go because uh well you need to go to the sink and turn it off because you're gonna be drinking for the next day. That's what you do. What you do is you stop drinking except for little sips to keep your mouth moist and do cardio. And then you lay in a hot bath until you get dizzy and you do more cardio. And whenever you get too dizzy, you lay on the floor for a while and you just keep doing that until you weigh what you're supposed to weigh. You're just trying to get all the water out of you, right?

Yeah, because water's heavy. I get it, yeah. There's a little more to it. When's the weigh-in, did you say? Well, tomorrow's the weigh-in. That's too soon. You can't lose it by tomorrow. No, I don't think so.

Well, here's the thing. Tomorrow's the weigh-in, but it's not really the final way in. That's the weird thing. We set it up for, what was it? 180 days, so it doesn't perfectly coincide with the date of the show. So it should be next show afterward. It should push it a show, right?

I think so, because right now, if I look at the timer, it says I have five days, 15 hours. If you've got five days, you can do this 1,000%. So 1,000%, you can do it. All right. So, well, what you would want to do is start water loading. You'd want to be drinking as much water as you can for the next maybe two, three days,

probably solid. Okay. And then after that, again, you're going to start cutting the water out of your diet. The first day, you're only going to drink maybe 10, 16 ounces of and then the next day even less and then the last day you don't drink and then the last day i started doing lots and lots of cardio and hot water i i was already very lean so i wasn't holding a lot of water and i cut like 15 16 pounds of water no problem that's a lot and left out but probably did right now completely cut salt salt will help you salt will retain water a lot yeah it's it's one of the most like pre-loading

with the water like kyle already said and cutting salt are the principal steps to this you know getting the water out of your system and then stay off the salt and then cut the water and like kyle said sweat rest sweat rest until you're light yeah i've been just doing like cardio like crazy but not diuretics results you get the diuretic too uh over the counter like from the pharmacy i can't remember exactly what it is it's like cotton seed oil or something it doesn't matter but just an over-the-counter diuretictic that makes you just piss and piss and piss forever. I took something. Again, it was over-the-counter. It wasn't anything too intense.

Now, I've heard you can cut off a human limb and reattach it up to 48 hours later. You can. 100%. You can do that for $1,300, though. I think you're going to be in the hole. I have a good point.

Not a white flag. Not a white flag. Not a human leg. Are you feeling physically much, much better than you did when you started from the weight loss? Because Kyle and Woody have never been fat.

I've been fat, and it sucks. The internet said I was really fat. I was definitely fat. I was definitely fat. Kyle, the internet agreed that Kyle and I were pretty heavy. I'm a Marine. Vito's a Navy SEAL Team 6 and you guys are both National Guard.

That's what this is. I've seen a tiny bit of action but Vito's been in the trenches. He's like a World War I trench soldier. Exactly. Rotten off. So do you feel physically way better? I'm just happy that it's going down at all.

That's the other thing is everyone's like, it sucks that I haven't made the exact challenge, but there was a lot of retraining myself to have better habits anyway like if i could start the six months over from like you know what i've started doing now it would be much easier it just took time to figure out like okay like replace this in your diet with this and do this instead of that but uh yeah no i'm feeling happier you I just need to... I want to keep it up. This is not... It's not about the money.

I mean, I would like to get down to... I started at like 310, which is terrible. That's the heaviest I've ever been. Are you like seven feet tall, perhaps? No, no. I am six feet, luckily. Everybody always thinks I'm like a fucking midget for some

reason you're gonna look taller if you get lean just just you know because skinny people get longer yeah we'll get longer more usable inches down there that's good how's your dick looking compared to the beginning of the challenge how's how's my dick looking yeah is it i mean it's always spectacular it's always standing proud so i'm proud love to, it's always spectacular. It's always standing proud. Proud and proud. Love to hear it. It's hard to say. Maybe it's got a little more confidence, a little more swagger in the penis, I'd say. A little more swagger.

A little more confidence. Because you lose some of that fupa area and you start getting a prouder back. Yeah, exactly. So you probably have seen some gains down there and you're like, this is pretty nice. It presents much more proudly. It has a nice bed from which to emerge now nice uh yeah i'm just gonna keep it going i mean if i can get back down to like 250 even though that's still a fat kid weight at least it's a more respectable fat kid weight yeah uh i think the because i was always a fat kid like in high school I weighed 260 but I looked way worse and then I've

dieted before so when I was like in high school I was able to get back down to like 200 and I looked pretty okay so yeah 6 foot 200 nothing wrong with that yeah and I lost like losing 60 pounds stop saying it's the perfect

weight for a 60-foot tall man. Don't say it's my absolutely ideal. Absolutely ideal. Yeah, losing 60 pounds felt good. I'm close to 190. I'm close to 190. I am probably going to get on because there's something other than

Ozempic that my sister's taking, because apparently Ozempic's like the old shit now. Oh, really? Already? Yeah, already. There's like some new thing that the cool kids are injecting into themselves. The problem is that those are all just appetite suppressants, right? Or

they're going to make you poop yourself, give you those weird gastrointestinal things where you're like farting all the time or you're having greasy shits or i don't know it's the appetite well it's like but that's the thing is like for me is look man i'm a fat guy like falling through and through like if i eat food i'm just like this is the best thing that's ever happened to me and my brain doesn't want me to stop. It's like, there's more pizza. I'm like, there is more pizza. I do a little bit of lifting. But if you like to do a lot of lifting

and you took that strength of having a bottomless stomach, really feeling good about being overstuffed and made that chicken and rice. Translate that to lifting all the time? Yeah. Well, eating chicken and rice and lifting all the time. But even chicken and rice is like, I'll eat a shit ton of chicken and rice.

It'll defeat all you want. No, no, the rice is bad. I do wonder about that. Cause I've done this, like, like I'll have,

um, fruit like pineapples and blueberries and shit. I know it's not zero calorie, but I also just can't prove it. I just know though that no one gets fat on eating pineapple pineapples and blueberries like if you look at just go to the movie theater pick out all the fat people and be like are pineapples your weakness how many pineapples did you eat this week that's not it that's not now you'll cut to me in the movie theater and i'm pulling pineapples out of my jacket

i watched a youtube video once and it was about they were like adding the it was you know big muscle man it was probably one of those things where it's like this is what professional bodybuilder job gigantic eats in a day and at one point he's adding spinach to his to his meal and he's like if you're counting your spinach calories don't count your spinach calories. I'm not allowed to curse on here. I'm sorry. He was about to call you a faggot or something

if you're counting your spinach calories. And it hit me. It's like, yeah, Kyle, have as much spinach every day as you want. Pretend you're Popeye if you need to. As much as you please? Spinach? Fill up on it. And so I stopped measuring that day,

and I was triple fistful of spinach in every meal. It cooks down to nothing but it gives you some substance. Measuring spinach is psychotic. My favorite thing to hate is spring mix. You guys familiar with spring mix? Oh my god. I have seen so many fitness

influencers be like, this is 50 calories of almonds. This is 50 calories of chicken and this is 50 calories of spring mix which is like a 55 gallon drum of spring mix and i'm like fuck you it's not even food i could eat that drum of spring mix and i still wouldn't be full right it's not even calories human consumption humans don't survive off rabbit food. No, you couldn't. If someone gave you a wheelbarrow full of spring mix and was like, here's your food for the next week, you have a wheelbarrow of food. They'd show back up and you'd be dead on the floor.

They did it. So a cat. A cat is a carnivorous animal. And if you give a cat a rabbit diet, it gets diabetes and dies. Right. Guys, this is science. Spring mix gives you diabetes. We're omnivores.

Stay away from that shit. Yeah, we can. I bet we could live on spring mix. It just wouldn't be a happy life or anything. You'd be eating all day like like a rhino. Just you'd have to graze 24 seven. Like are like a panda. Pand pandas they only eat bamboo and it's extremely calorie and they're a huge loser species not dense you can't live oh i don't get

started on pandas i hate them let me start with those fucking quote-unquote bears all right those overgrown raccoons that we bow down to china and like oh please let us borrow your pandas please please no we should if we stop funding the propping up of those ugly stupid fucking animals we could save like three or four more endangered species that are much easier to say pandas don't want to fuck that's the problem like they're not they haven't evolved well to reproduce they make one little dirty rat every five years that has a 50 50 chance of surviving and then it has to interbreed with what their mother because there's no other pandas in the country god damn it you got a bunch of we can take that money and save like eight kinds of trout and like the fucking north american woolly bat or some shit like a

bunch of shit gets saved with the millions they get devoted to those cute little fucking bears. If you ever go to the trout exhibit at the zoo, it's just not as exciting. It's terrible. What a terrible exhibit that would be. You try to pass in there, they'll lose their mind. The zoo sucks.

Welcome to the old trout zoo. What about pandas? They took the pandas away, right? What about pandas? They took the pandas back. China did? China took all the pandas back. The understanding was they were taking all the pandas back.

I think the Atlanta Zoo lost their panda, too. I don't go there. It's animal prison. I don't support zoos. I think they're horseshit. Every time I go, it's just stinky and sad. You like aquariums. Yeah, but fish are fucking stupid they're not real animals like i feel bad for those whales they got in there but um what are you gonna do they seem happy they look like they're kind of waving the glass i went to see the beluga whales

at uh at the georgia aquarium and they're just like oh they see a kid they go straight for the kid they're like dancing with the kid the kid's dancing back and i'm like i don't have a dance partner no one likes until i start dancing with the kid out of the way i'm a dance champion watch this grab the kid block the cock block the whale throwing bows at the whale exhibit i'm trying to get attention so what is it veto that that puts a few pounds on you like what have you had to cut out entirely that's a good question well i've cut out the uh i was drinking those uh horrible mountain dew energy drinks which i've been addicted to for the past several years jumpstart kickstart whatever is that uh what is it called amp mountain dew amp which is still the

most delicious energy drink i've ever found, but I now have the prime 10 calorie energy drink. Do you pay for them or does he give them to you? Logan Paul. Yeah, me and him have a real good thing going. No, I have to buy these, unfortunately. I better give them

to you. Logan, hook a man up. Yeah, come on, Logan. See us? We also don't know Logan. Kyle us we also don't know logan i'll be i'll be the fucking face of prime man if i lose a bunch of weight on prime it's gonna be like this is a jared moment here yeah you could have the next subway jared because i would do that for a small amount of money just to enjoy the motivation of it. Like if somebody's like, hey, do you want to pimp our energy drink? We want you to get super

ripped in the next six months. Like, oh yeah. How much? $3,000? Yeah, sure. That'll cover stuff. Let's go. Like, get to the fun of it. It'd be fun to get gigantic. I want Derek to ship me more of those Gorilla Mind energy drinks that he was sending us all eight months ago. I had a pallet of those

because Kyle didn't update his address and so they just sent me like twice as many energy drinks. Oh, hundreds of them I had. I don't even know what they taste like. Oh, they're fantastic. So many wonderful flavors. Every time I'm like, ooh, two 12-packs. One for Kyle because he didn't.

And one for me. I don't know where I go to update my address flush with them in the WhatsApp chat we have with them but yeah check out the gorilla mind energy drinks those are good you're like you can't just drink like zero calorie Red Bull

or the white monsters I never liked the taste of those I really like this like lemon lime flavor so that's good i'm a big and that was a big thing for me is like i'm lucky now because i love like juice and shit you know i would always have like lemonade in the fridge and whatever else but now they've got all these good like low calorie alternatives finally that like for the longest time but they taste like battery acid you're like oh my god alcohol no i'm not a big drinker like i'll drink socially but that's the biggest one um liquid is the biggest thing

i think that's why i've started losing a lot of the weight is that like you know i i'm just a lot stricter i mean i was always like doing diet cola and whatever and trying to drink a lot of water but now i'm just like way stricter about where it's like no juice no like you know sodas or whatever else no energy drinks that have a bunch of calories in them i don't know how people who drink their soda aren't all fat as shit because if anyone drank regular soda the way i drink diet soda you'd have like a diabetic attack it's like an extra thousand calories a day drinking that soda. It's crazy. That's part of how Boogie got so fat, is just guzzling out and do's,

which is like, what, 50 grams? 220 calories for 12 ounces. Yeah, and if he's having 10 of those a day. Not even 16? Yeah, like a 12-ounce little regular. How did he get back to... Okay, but he got fucking gastric bypass. They make the tall boys that are Okay, but he got fucking gastric bypass. They make the tall boys that are 16, but the standard is 12.

Dude, if you get a gastric bypass surgery, but you're someone who gained your weight with sweet tea or soda, it's not going to take. But he didn't figure that out. He didn't go like, okay, now that I lost the weight, I'm going to- See, I don't think it's the knowledge problem. It's a discipline problem, right? Yeah, but man, after you get gastric bypass, I'm going to see. I don't think it's a knowledge problem. It's a discipline problem, right? Yeah. But man, after you get gastric bypass, it's like, bro, all you have to do is not drink

soda. Like pretty much. Yeah. Because your stomach doesn't have your stomach doesn't have room for food, but it's got room for, you know, plenty of liquids and shit. I don't think that you can lose weight without a purpose. Like, I don't think you just be like, you know, I'd like to be a skinnier person. purpose like i don't think you just be like you know i'd like to be a skinnier person let's just completely upend the way we live life and live that way for the next 60 to 70 years

no you have to have a purpose you have to have a reason it has to be a mindset a life-changing kind of thing and you have to have a system of people around you who are down for that you can't have some cunt wife over there 30 pounds overweight with malamars but you know buying them 12 at a time they're individually right for a reason out of my house like you you have to have a lot of things going on to to make those changes permanent because if you got a fat wife you're fucked i agree i remember i was dating this girl let's be real she was a big girl and she like screwed up all my habits because i was doing pretty good and then we'd like go like get you know some fast food or something if you get these like giant cokes or whatever and i'm like

oh i drink diet cokes like well i don't drink diet coke i just got the regular coke it's the same thing and then i like started drinking coke again and fucking eating all this wrong shit. She got you back on coke. Because that excuses it, right? You're like, if she thinks that's okay for her to do, then she wouldn't be disgusted by me if I did. I could still get pussy and coke and cola? Well, you're already in their relationship. Yeah, you're like, well, whatever. I already landed the girl. What else am I

here for? You're telling me I got pussy and coke and cola? I got pussy and coke and cola? Alright. We're having a sit-down meal at Burger King right now, so I think I'm fine with Coca-Cola. I got pussy and Coca-Cola. All right. I love you. We're having a sit down meal at Burger King right now. So I think I'm fine with the regular. Yeah. What did what put a few pounds on her? What else did she entice you with other than Coke?

I mean, she just she introduced me to things that I she was like, you got to try this place. They got chili cheese pastrami fries. I'm like, I'll just try those once. Once. Once a lifetime treat card when she comes in. They're like, here you go, man. They pull a string and a bunch of balloons fall from the ceiling. The owner walks his daughter out in her like college graduation outfit and tears thanking her for how much she's meant to the family honestly it's probably been good that i

haven't had a girlfriend because like i don't like to go to restaurants by myself you know so i just don't go to restaurants and i you know try to cook at home or whatever whenever i have like a girlfriend you know i'm like oh let's go out to this place let's try this whatever else and the yeah going out to eat all the time it's easy to to this place. Let's try this, whatever else. Yeah. Going out to eat all the time, it's easy to pack on some weight because you just do that old thing where it's like, oh, my God, even the asparagus here is fantastic. And it's like Parmesan everywhere, an enormous amount of butter. Swimming in butter.

A whole stick of butter. Swimming in butter. It is really hard to eat well on the road. Yeah, sure. And it might be possible possible but it takes a special kind of discipline you know you're on the road like it there's wendy's and mcdonald's and chick-fil-a's passing you constantly and they'll be like well you know if you go to the grocery store they actually have a healthier thing you can go to the deli and they'll make

the sandwich up for you whatever it's like fuck like, fuck you. I'm on the road. Wendy's will make it for me, too. I go to Wendy's and I get the I get two grilled chicken sandwiches and I eat the meat with my bare hands. It burns my fingers while I do it. I hate that. I get two plain grilled chicken sandwiches and I'm reaching. I like open them and like shake, shake everything out. So it just falls loosely in the bag.

And with my hands, I grab the chicken. You're a better man than I. I will be like, you know, while driving, calories don't count. I do the same thing. I will mow through a $2 only big bag of pork rinds driving anywhere.

I love those. People don't know the special rules around calories. During UFC fights, while driving, they don't even do anything. Yeah. If you haven't eaten much all day, you can actually order a whole pizza at night and eat the whole thing. And it kind of just comes out in the wash.

I co-sign that. I co-sign that. If you haven't eaten all day and your one meal is going to be like a whole pizza let's say you're eating 2200 calories of pizza i have no problem with that at all i know there's a world champion jujitsu guy who does that diet pasta and pizza yeah you're familiar with this guy oh yeah big time yeah he looks super nerdy from the neck up right he's got big thick glasses and he talks like urkel he's a white guy but he talks like urkel and uh but from the neck up. He's got big, thick glasses and he talks like Urkel. He's a white guy, but he talks like Urkel.

But from the neck down, you're like, world champion Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu? I see it. Yeah, that makes sense. Let's see if I can find his name. He's a bit of an anomaly. Before every game, Alex Ovechkin eats a bunch of chicken parmesan and pasta.

And if the greatest goal scoreorer in NHL history, if it's a meal fit for him, it's a meal fit for me. And so I see. Then he burns a bunch of calories by playing in the NHL, which I don't know. Is it this guy, Mikey Lucemi? Yeah, yeah, that's the guy. Oh, that's actually the exact picture I was hoping to give him.

Yeah, yeah. So from the neck up, you know what? Even in this picture, at least on the left from the neck up you know what even in this picture at least on the left from the neck up he looks like a nerd on the right like i kind of see it like there's an athlete there yeah yeah i don't even think he looks nerdy he just has glasses that's all it takes man yeah i don't know yeah that's how that's the clark kent thing if you heard him you're such a nerd that's the Clark Kent thing Clark you're such a nerd oh my god Superman I think the glasses make him look more

handsome and virile it tells everyone around this guy's got good genes with eyesight this guy can afford glasses wow he's not walking around blind I bet there's he's not walking around in america i bet there's man i bet there's

definitely uh blind people walking around in other countries that would just need like a standard prescription right i saw that video the other day and it was uh it was a black guy who was legally blind and they put on this geordie laforge like mask from visor from the future type shit it was huge, but it has cameras, I think, and it takes that and magnifies and blows it up right in his face so he can see shit. He's seeing his wife's face for the first time,

which is risky. That went well, I guess. He was like, let me see my mama's face. He gets his phone out, finds a picture of his mother, and then he was a big football fan I guess he played fantasy football but he'd never seen the game

played they like turned a football game on and he's just like like watching football for the first time it was cool as shit he's like wait this game has a ball it's cool there's a lot of guys out there he's like why are they kneeling in center field

he's like why did you they kneeling in center field? He's like, why did you know the numbers were on the field? He's shocked that it's mostly black guys out there. I mean, run this shit. You're telling me Demetrius Jackson is a black man? I don't know if that's a player. It sounds like I'm sure it is. The other thing I would say about weight loss, and I don't know if you've ever got your testosterone levels checked,

but as a man, that is such an important thing to do, I think, between 35 and older, for sure. Because if your levels have dropped to like you know two three hundred or something like that you know you're just not clicking on all cylinders you're a v8 running on five cylinders or something you could really be a better happier person with a little little testosterone in your life and it'll kick start your weight loss i actually uh people in your community were telling me because i've been trying to get testosterone because i did get checked and my levels are a little low but my health insurance or whatever was like

giving me the run around so yeah I sent you Derek's clinic did you yeah and I just I've been like busy because of like holiday stuff but I need to actually reach out and get I that probably would have made this process a lot easier in my head at least that's for sure if they test you and you're like T is low and then they juice you up to normal levels like kyle said before i've never been on t but i know from kyle and friends i know like they lose weight quickly and it seems like they're eating a ton oh they're also working out a lot so it could i don't know you know this and i i don't know that

there's a direct correlation between the increased testosterone and fat loss. Because fat doesn't just leave. You've got to get rid of it. That's the deal. But it gives you more. I understand that there's energy that you get from having the right amount of testosterone. Oh, yeah. You're going to hit the gym a little harder.

Well, I also abuse caffeine. I'm not afraid to just keep taking more. I'm taking a lot tonight. I'm drinking coffee after three pills of caffeine. You're popping pills again? You're going down that rabbit hole? No. Abusing caffeine makes you lose weight?

Oh, yeah. That's how I lost weight. Every workout, that's what pre-workout's about. It's nice. There's two things that pre-workout do that I give a shit about. One of them is make you look vascular as fuck after to take pictures. And the other one is giving you an increased heart rate for burning calories during cardio. I don't give a shit about motivation. When people talk about, yeah, man, I get motivated when I... No, I'm just...

No, I'm not motivated. I don't want to lift the weight anymore. I didn't want to lift it to begin with. I either did want to or I didn't want to. And caffeine is not going to change that fact. I don't get the motivation. So for me, it's using the caffeine so that lighter amounts of easier cardio burns the same amount of calories. That's where caffeine becomes magical. Because I can get on an elliptical on caffeine and expend less energy

or feel like i am and get this get a higher heart rate keep it up for an hour and burn my 400 calories a day and it just or you could uh do you smoke cigarettes you could take that up nicotine no i'm not even joking derrick was like you can all eat like that's one of the things he was like and nicotine works too for appetite suppressant even joking. Derek was like, you can all eat. That's one of the things he was like, and nicotine works too for appetite suppressant. That's when I was vaping like crazy on that nicotine vape. Yeah, you were just trying to get it down. I haven't even covered cocaine yet.

Adderall would be the hardest. I've seen the Saved by the Bell episode where Jesse gets addicted to caffeine pills and frankly, you're scaring me with this time. That is an episode because they couldn't do any real drugs because it was like tv standards and they're like i don't know how we're gonna dig into caffeine pills see what geeks up on caffeine pills what an unpleasant person

that would be to be around just not even the fun business ideas of cocaine. I am in LA. I do have access to vast amounts of cocaine should I desire them. Maybe it would make my life a little better. Start with cigarettes. Play that by ear. See if you lose some weight there. But then there's a problem. If you get addicted to cigarettes and then you have to quit cigarettes, you're definitely

going to gain weight. They're also expensive there. I can vape though, right? That has nicotine in it. That's what I did. I got a can vape though right that has yeah that's what you want to do anything with nicotine i did i got a free vape from adam 22's birthday party really you want to uh yeah adam 22 he's a he hosts what's the name of the podcast uh well he has no jumper is his youtube podcast and the one where him and his wife interview porn stars and then fuck them called plug talk. I guess I've never seen that one. Well, I hate that.

Out of 22 and his wife interview your favorite porn stars and then they go and they I guess bang it out and I don't know where they post that. Did he invite you on the porn? So we went me and Dick went on. Yeah, we went on the porn podcast? So me and Dick went on the porn podcast. Me and Dick both fucked his wife.

That'll burn some cows. That's the reality show he's doing right now. He's doing a reality show where the winner gets to fuck his wife. I want to get on that show. That'd be so funny. It's like you have immunity idols and physical challenges. You have to fuck this sex doll straight for 10 minutes. That's really hard.

Rate if it drops below 200. So everybody's just right. A tippy top. That'd be honestly, the show sounds like it does need more. Yeah. Weird tribal challenges. Yeah, they should have. So he has no jumper, which is like, you know, a show where he talks to like rappers and guys and that kind of crew.

And there was like a period of time where I think he got tired of just talking to rappers he's like why don't i just bring on some assholes so he brought on like nick fuentes and he brought on destiny and then i guess because destiny was there somehow me and dick got roped in so it was me him and destiny just shooting the shit talking about what he was like man i never get to talk about white guy stuff this is fun uh but then we yeah so we got invited to his uh big porn star birthday oh i got i got a picture with cory feldman that was exciting did he tell you about all the all the kids he's saving yeah uh no unfortunately we couldn't get into it i really wanted to damn that sucks so how was how was the general conversation with you and destiny and dick and uh adam 22 and nick fuentes

well that's the thing is like i think adam 22 started mixing us up in his head because we went to his birthday party he's like hey dick and vito hey these two funny guys he's like hey don't say the n word at this party i'm like we weren't going to you know what i'm out of here although now that you've put it in my head and to be fair i see all these black guys here and they're saying it all night long i feel like i get to say it at least once yeah it's a birthday party everybody gets one everybody gets one but yeah i got a free i got a big bag a big goodie bag but it was all like smoking stuff so not and i don't smoke you know like i'll smoke at a party but i don't keep weed in my house or whatever so i have this big fancy rolling tray and a giant no jumper ashtray and

whatever else a bunch of flavored wraps and i'm like maybe i could wrap like meat up in that and smoke it i don't know i can't believe we didn't get invited to the party i'll get you guys into the next one dick had a crisis though because we went and dick was just looking around at like all these porn stars with their asses and their titties hanging out it was beautiful and he's just going he's like this could have been my life i could have been having a huge fucking if I went down a specific path, I could have women surrounding me and loitering around and thrusting their asses. I could be up on

stage with Blueface who is some sort of rapper or whatever mumblecore rapping his way through my birthday song. Do you want that, though? I don't want that. He did. That sounds horrible. Tons of women shaking their horrible tons of women it does sound it does sound gross but look but they're not shaking their ass like yeah we'll get a party

together and women show up and they dress like whores they are whores well yeah but they they dress like they dress like they are whores they're prostitutes you invited a lot of prostitutes but they don't know aren't you afraid they'll steal sir it's like yeah they're still wearing clothes i can watch you suck a dick on my phone right now if you want to have sex with a slutty woman you don't need to be like a lifelong success or a trillionaire or something or have a birthday bash that's attended by celebrities and he doesn't know what he's talking about and i don't have to ever watch the video which i don't understand bottle service oh my god anytime i read about the cost of bottle service i'm like so rich people are insane is what you're telling me okay now bottle service on the other hand i completely stand behind that that

makes a ton of sense let me ask you let me explain what i don't get and see if you can fill me in yeah it seems like you're paying five ten fifteen thousand dollars for fifty dollars worth of alcohol now i i gather that it's some sort of flex that women are supposed to see you lay this cash out and want to be with you and that is as far as i might get no um well i don't know why it would be ten or fifteen thousand unless we're buying like fancy like gigantic bottles of champagne that are rare or something. But for maybe a thousand, $3,000, not only do we now have a little table to sit at wherever, where everybody else is in like standing room only in a little private area to go to, we have bottles and glasses. Everybody else has to go to that bar and

try to get a drink that's overpriced. We have bottles and glasses and mixer sit on my lap what's your name like we i don't have to go like into the lion's den of you and your friend group and try to pick you out and pull you away and and them playing fucking defense like the eagles like no they're they're they're talking to my like boy aiden and they're talking to this guy like like we it immediately becomes a social experience. So bottle service comes with a table, and the table comes with status, and it only costs a grand? Well, it was $850 per bottle, and we got three bottles.

It's adding up. $2,500-ish. I thought it added up a lot, yeah. But they're not fancy bottles. I was like, no, I'm not paying for it. Yeah, that's like a bottle of Sky Vodka or something. Yeah, a bottle of Kettle One, like 800 bucks. Absolute. I think you can get that at the grocery store for less than $20.

I'm not buying the vodka. I hate all vodka equally. There isn't a vodka you can give me where I'll be like, this one's actually kind of tasty. You're wrong on that with the social aspect. Vodka's the biggest people pleaser. If you bring a bunch of whiskeys over there, what the hell am I going to mix this with? It has

to be soda. But if you get vodka, people can mix it with juice. Cranberries, orange juice, whatever you want. You'll have bottles of juice too. Not like a little juice box. I didn't hear where I was wrong i was just saying that all vodka tastes the same to me i'm not sophisticated enough to understand that like oh this is only absolute whereas this other thing is like i don't know fucking tongue in your ass the high end yeah i can't tell much much difference there either as long as it's really

really cold it's really really cold they're all about the same, I think. It can get too... I don't like it too cold because it gets viscous. It gets thick, like oil a little bit when it gets really cold. But Hito's vodka is the smoothest vodka for the money. Because it looks different. Who makes Ciroc vodka? Is that Diddy? I think it's Diddy.

I think you're right. Diddy has a lot of trouble. He has that blue glass piece of... Why? Is he in trouble? Yeah, he's been... Well, I don't know if you. I think you're right. Diddy's in a lot of trouble. He has that blue glass piece of... Why is he in trouble? I don't know if you're allowed to say exactly why. He might sue you. I'll get into that in just a second. I just want to shit on his vodka for a second.

He has this vodka made out of grapes. R-A-P-O. It's Ciroc. I'm not sure it's Diddy's. I just know it's a wrapper from New York. It's shit vodka. When I was drinking sure it's Diddy's. I just know it's a rapper from New York. But it's shit vodka. When I was drinking a lot, I bottled a bottle of that. I mean, I drank the whole goddamn bottle,

but it was disgusting. You did it under protest. You're like, this sucks. This is terrible. You want to pour out vodka? I'm drinking the shit. So what did he get? He got accused of something to do with grapes? Okay, so I may get some of this wrong,

but, but who cares? I think the New York has this thing called the adult survivors act, which might extend sort of the statute of limitations on sex crimes with the idea that children certainly would be involved with clergy abuse and other instances. The standard statute of limitations doesn't serve them. I was 15 when my statute ran out.

He raped me when I was... Whatever. I think that that may be expiring now or ending in some way. A lot of ladies are getting their suits in before the bell rings. What happened with Diddy recently was this other entertainer lady

who I'd never seen before or heard of, but apparently she's a famous singer lady or some shit, uh, accused him of rape and abuse and like pimping her out and involving her in some sort of like sex trafficking stuff. And, uh, the next day he settled, it was like over. And then I keep hearing like more and more of those are happening. Uh, not just to him, but to other prominent people. I know the mayor of New York also has one of those hanging over him. I think it's the... Everybody's

trying to get those in at the last minute. They're like, girl, you here? Get that bag! Let them know! Let me read this thing that Zach put in because it adds details to what you said. In the suit filed in the Federal District court of Manhattan, Casey,

whose real name is, I'm going to not say that. And had long been Mr. Combs, his romantic partner says that not long after she met him in 2005, when she was 19, he began a pattern of control and abuse that included plying her with drugs, beating her and forcing her to have sex With a succession of male prostitutes

While he filmed the encounters In 2018 the suit says Near the end of their relationship Mr. Combs forced his way Into her home and raped her So that Is what he's accused of So he's a videographer

He's a videographer He's made music videos before he was just yeah getting content so what's the harm is he gonna he's not gonna be r kelly'd away if he gave her 30 million dollars and she disappeared 30 million she asked for 30 the first time she went after him um but but this time again like like she sued and then the next day, the case has been settled. And what they say is that if you're going to blackmail someone, they explain that if there's a civil suit, that it's not blackmail, it's a settlement, that they can pay that, and it's a legal way of blackmailing someone. But he paid, clearly, to shut her up and make her go away and I would imagine that

do you remember that reality show? Is she going back to the well? She got a payout or is she coming back for another one? I think she's all alone. The man can't live on 30 million forever Vito. I bet if he's got like Ciroc money and all of that shit like he's worth so much

like they probably had a meeting with his people and we're like the net bad business. Like, cause I'm sure he's saying like, I didn't do this. You know, I would never do this. Like I imagine that's his stance.

Like I does not want the bad press. I think it's slightly differently. I bet behind closed doors. He's like succession of male prostitutes. First of all, those people were friend and it makes it sound like there were more than two. He's like, succession of male prostitutes. First of all, those people were friend. And succession makes it sound like there were more than two. They're just buddies.

She's really stretching the truth here. She's really blowing this out of proportion, Your Honor. You see, she's a whore. I have the videos to show how much she enjoyed it, and I did. He put those videos away. No, we're're gonna watch them all here I went for a high angle shot

to add a sense of dread to the scene he did his own soundtrack like he's in the background he's rapping over it in the background singing like an R&B song low key this is pretty fucking good judge is like yeah you know what

that's a banger I have to find in your favor Mr. Did you know what? That's a banger. I have to find in your favor, Mr. Diddy. You're just so talented, Mr. Diddy. I have to let you go. I bet he's really good. I bet he can beat you masturbating while rapping over this video. Oh, our boy Kevin Spacey. Did I tell you I saw a video

about how he's 30 and 0? Our boy Kevin Spacey. My personal hero, mentor, and what else? Savior, Kevin Spacey. 30-0 now in court against his accusers.

30-0. Better than UGA, and that's hard to fucking do. Okay, we got 28 wins in a row. 30 in a row for Kevin Spacey against these sexual assault accusers. Yes, three of them died. Those are also victories. I think more than three. I think he's like almost got three. Only three. Those men died of shame

for going at the great Kevin Spacey. They died of shame. Well, the cancer took them because they were so ashamed of themselves. Kyle's scoring system extends to Conor McGregor too, which is hilarious. Like that old dude at a bar? That's a win. His girlfriend?

That's a win. The barometer for success is Georgia. If it's more than 28 it's very impressive. December 2nd. I want to talk Conor McGregor too because that's wild right now. Do you know what's happened in Dublin and Ireland in the old country?

They're having the troubles. They're having the troubles. They're having the troubles. Yeah, Irish lives matter. He's tweeting where he's like, this is fucking bullshit. What are these people doing here stabbing Irish folk? Get out of here. He's being investigated right now for his tweets

by the police. Oh, hey, crime laws, I assume they have in Ireland. Investigating tweets for criminal activity, that's insane. Hang on. So what happened was a teacher or a woman and like two or three children were slashed,

attacked in Ireland by an Algerian immigrant. I'm red. And of course, a lot of people pointed out that's because of some immigration laws they don't care for there, I suppose. A lot of Irish lives matter being spray painted on walls and stuff. It was an immigrant, to be fair, who bashed the attacker with a motorcycle

helmet and stopped the whole thing, but that's being lost in the shuffle. You know, the best way to stop a bad immigrant is a good immigrant. They put a fucking mexican on that algerian with a knife a good algerian with a knife a good algerian with a knife on every irish street corner is what i said you just see him standing there with his knife all day long everything is gonna be fine. No, that's my mood.

He's a good one. So do you see a school teacher and her children were slashed? Yeah, a lady and three school children. Apparently a five-year-old was severely slashed or something like that. They're being coy on the exact injuries because it's children or whatever. Coy might not be the exact word. Yeah, they're not being like, I don't know who got ma'am please we're trying to get to the bottom of this wouldn't you like to know but huge protests in the street uh they're saying the biggest they've ever had um you know burning shit down uh lots of irish lives matter

uh signs and stuff they already got shirts going and conor mcgregor just perfectly poised to actually win something and run for for like office in ireland that's the only thing he's got any chance of winning he runs for office in ireland not only can he fund his campaign but he'll get the votes he'll get that vote out all right he's popular over there there's only six million people in ireland okay they're all conor gregor fans they all love him i'm sure yeah they got like he's he probably has a mailing list with a quarter of the people there from selling them jerseys and they're all drinking his liquor yeah i just he could be like proper 12 is free on voting day, or whatever. Everyone who votes gets a free Proper 12. Remember that diet? Remember the

Dr. Pepper 10 commercial, like, it's not for women? He's like, Proper 12, it's not for Algerians. This is for good Irish folk. He claimed he was gonna, like, fix it himself. Like, if the police won't do anything, I will, or something. I took political office to be the intent of that tweet.

Yeah. He's going to be a politics vigilante. I'm going to go out there and beat every Algerian. I see. That's how I interpret it. Or at least, right. I don't think even he thinks he can beat up every Algerian.

He can only beat up so many Algerians, but if he ran for president or whatever they have over there, I'm sure he could get something done. 100% he could. You made the point perfectly. I'm sure Conor will be an effective leader that cleans up crime. Do it. Let's see what happens.

Let's see what happens with Conor McGregor at the helm. I struggle. There's a lot of people who agree with Taylor that It's like, you know what we should try? Let's just throw a Molotov cocktail into Congress and see how that goes. How could that be better? You know, it won't be worth it. Let's see what happens.

Yeah. These people suck, and they all hate the idea of Conor running. So do it. I would love that. If they have all those established people hate it, throw Conor in the mix. Have you seen that guy who won in Argentina, that far right? I would love that. If they have all those examples and people hate it, throw Connor in the mix. He'll be fine.

Have you seen that guy who won in Argentina, that far right? I heard about him. The guy with the crazy hair? Wild hair, mutton chop, Elvis type thing. He speaks like Hitler. And I mean that in a good way. What country is it? Okay.

Argentina. Argentina. Remember when Hitler would be like fucking sweating and like he's four hours into a 12-day speech and he's just. Yeah. And you're like, fuck whatever he's saying, I'm on board. This guy has that same hardcore white man energy, okay? Like he means what he's saying. He won.

That guy. He looks like the new Doctor Who. He does. That'd be perfect. he won and i that guy he looks like a dark he looks like the new doctor who he's he does very perfect from this guy is not threatening looking at all i did see a clip of him where he like i guess in like spanish it has like all these little placards of like department of education department of human resources department of this and that and it's just him because i guess he's a hardcore libertarian just being like none of this none of this one getting rid of this getting ready to shut down their central bank like his first day in office it's just gone you know he campaigned for the chainsaw like he's in the streets with the crowd behind him like i'm sure he's saying something about cutting through the

red tape or cutting something like there's yeah sure there's a pun there i'm sure but he's like people look at it like what the fuck i want to see how this works out i'm really curious about the experiment like so here's if it works like everybody's gonna fucking start changing up their shit they're gonna go oh shit the libertarians were right okay if they are i'm interested yeah that's a great picture so here's my take on libertarians I think they're a lot like cats Right they absolutely detest You they fucking hate The their the owners I'll call them right but they don't

Realize how completely dependent On the owners that they are they don't realize The benefit of the goods and services That the owners are giving them these cats Think that they'd make great libertarians And they don't need this infrastructure But you take it away from them and they will not make it. They will certainly not enjoy the same comfy lives that house cats have today.

So libertarians like, dude, you want the EPA. You want it. You think you don't. You think they're a pain in the ass. It's causing you problems. But wait till you have an energy industry that doesn't have an EPA. It'll fucking change your life. Let's see what happens. Let's see him get

rid of the EPA or whatever the equivalent is, the Department of Education, this, that, and the other thing. If Argentina gets better, I'm wrong. Do you want the EPA? Do you want the EPA? He says no. That cat's a libertarian.

It thinks it's doing all this on its own. But in reality, look at the infrastructure that it relies on. I don't even know infrastructure. Who's going to service that good kitty's anal glands? Not the government.

Who's going to express the anal glands of this cat? Even if it went off without a hitch and it's like, you know, we don't need the EPA. We wouldn't copy that. The US isn't going to suddenly disband a bunch of powerful organizations just because... We did... What's that South America?

El Salvador. They had the worst gang problem on the globe, like gang violence. And then the leader of El Salvador was like, we're going to... I don't know if he sounds like this we are going to uh throw them all in jail and then he threw them all in jail and if you've seen their like crime graphs their violent crime it's like like a cliff just a straight fall down it turns out you lock all those people up

it stops happening like like murders in particular went down like a tremendous amount yeah i was i saw it on reddit where's this i was el salvador i was reading the comments on reddit of it's this picture of this room full of el salvadorian prisoners and they're all gang members they all have the videos of them all like in like lines yeah it's ridiculous he's getting rid of crime i mean he rounded them up with that like lines yeah that's they call this guy a fascist it's ridiculous he's getting rid of crime he rounded them up with that he was just like go get them all how do we know you know yeah how do you know i don't know man it's the guys with a bunch of skulls on their face i don't know it's a guy on their forehead that says murder lords in a tattoo you

you'd lock that guy up and like when i saw the picture of all of them locked up i did not see any haphazard accountants who were on their way to work who were swept up in this no there's one guy in a suit and tie going hey they were they were shooting a thousand on there there wasn't like there wasn't like a jerry smith in the in the group with like a suit and tie looking confused amongst no everyone look they all look the same down there uh for whatever reason uh they got they've all got the exact same Spanish in them um they're and uh they're like very short they all got the shaved head probably because the prison shaves their heads for lice but they all got the shaved head

and they're all tatted the fuck up and they they sit them in the most humiliating way. They're all like on their knees with their hands behind their back, but, but behind their back. So, but the guy behind them is so close that their hands are in his balls, like cupping the guy, cupping that guy's balls. And they have them like in these rows,

everybody's on their knees, but slid right up behind one another. So the guy behind you, his balls are in your hands and it's just must be 500 of them in the room. And I'm thinking like, man, if this place caught on fire, they'd never get them all up. I don't think they're concerned with that. I think they're like, we're getting rid of violent crime no matter what.

And then I thought, I bet they made them get all out of their cells and get in this awful position just for the picture I'm looking at. Fuck yeah, I love El Salvador. What it shows to me is that what we need in America, easily eight to ten times as many jails. We accept a couple of the amount of jails, then we can

fix it right. I disagree. I look forward to when we drop the whole pretense. I look forward to... El Salvador prisons are cuddly. Yeah, they're intimate. That guy doesn't have pants on. That guy's bottomless. Wait, not his choice. On the right. No, it pants on that guy's bottomless wait not his choice on the right no it's the other guy's leg i thought that was one one naked guy slips in he's like oh

i'm having the time of my life i really felt there was a naked guy no that was my mistake it's the other guy's leg because i can't unsee yeah it's like one of those patterns though once you see it you won't be able to unsee it. See? You can see the knee of that guy bending. Ah, the elephant has eight legs. Yes, I see that knee. No, the other one behind it. Oh, I see the guy behind him is covering his shorts. I see. Thank you.

But look at the tats, right? There's no accountants mixed in, man. I'm sorry. They're all scary tats, too. That's what these guys look like. They're probably from Jersey. They got crying women tattoos. Circling the one guy without any tattoos. His whole face is a dragon, dude. You like move around it.

His whole face is a death mask. Yeah, he's gonna stand up and have fucking SS. That one guy was the best. They're batting 900. Fuck these people. I don't care. The thing is, though, we could never do this in America because everybody would cry about, you know, civil rights because like here's the direction. All these guys like have genuine fear that like the guards are going to beat the shit

out of them. And in America, they would know like, oh, the guards head guards can't touch me. So I'll just be an asshole and I'm not going to get in the line and I'm not going to squat down or whatever else. Maybe we hire some El Salvadorian guards. And an S on his ear. All these guys have definitely watched another guy like them have his fucking face.

Why would you agree to Trejo now? How does Trejo work his way in? That's racist. I'm mostly just an actor. He's being fucking San Quentin. They saw him walking around and they went he's one of them bring him in no i'm just shooting another movie el sabador but that's not related to

the politician that just got elected right no that argentina's that one yeah well the that the weird thing about argentina is everyone's you know people in america are going yeah we got to do the same thing yeah and meanwhile argentina's like we need to dollarize our economy and have it based entirely on U.S. dollars because the United States' fucking economic policy is the only rock that actually works. And I'm like, yeah, we should not do what Argentina's doing. They're doing that because they want our dollar to be their standard of currency so much. It's like we've figured out economics pretty well. I believe it or not, I haven't followed the situation in Argentina closely at all. Get your finger on the pulse down there, Taylor.

In Argentina, I think Argentina is the country where it's like more people have United States dollars than they do Argentinian dollars. Or like the most amount of American currency outside of America is held by Argentinians. Because they're like, yeah, because if you have an argentinian dollar next week it's worth one-tenth of an argentinian dollar whereas if you just have a u.s dollar you just hold on to it forever hey look at my u.s dollar it doesn't change price that often give certificate to any store on the planet yes that's true like you want to get paid in a million fun bucks or one American dollar? I'll take the one American dollar.

Tunisia? Tunisia? I don't even know that. Tunisia. Tunisia. Thank you. Yeah, they take dollars there. They take you.

It's funny you mentioned. I just saw a video, and it was from when we were in Afghanistan maybe eight years ago or something. I know we were there for a long time, but the video is from then. And this like armored personnel carry of American soldiers, I don't know what, but the videos from then. And this like armored personnel carrier of American soldiers,

I don't know what, doing what, they pull up into this I call it a town. It looked like a wild west town, but in Afghanistan. Like there was like a hitching post, the Tiger Camel. And he goes up to this old man in what they would call a store. And he's got like chips,

like cheese doodles or some shit. And it was like five bags for a dollar. He like hands him like three dollars and comes back with this huge like like cheese doodles or some shit and it was like five bags for a dollar he like hands him like three dollars and he comes back with this huge pile of cheese doodles he's like i don't know if he got the best of me or i got the best of him but i got the cheese doodles he took dollars didn't even flinch yeah they're like did you shake his hand yeah. Did you think him before and after? Yeah. Good. Yeah. You got a bunch of like rubles or I don't know. What's another goofy one?

Lira? Like, what do I even do with this? I need to go turn this into real hard American money first and then I'll know how much it is. That guy in Argentina, I just put a link in the chat. Like, his whole thing, he was going around holding up giant American dollar bills with his face printed on them because it's just like the American dollar is king.

And he's basically like, look, man, you want to save Argentina? We got to just be a dollar-based economy. It's fascinating. If they hold all those American dollars and he loves us so much, Americans, is he going to send us some of those dollars? I don't know what's going to happen. A little show of fealty if they're the state 51. Oh, a good opportunity for the 51st state, as we've talked about.

We split Argentina up into 10. We get 60, baby. I just want to make sure it's not Puerto Rico. I just want to keep spying them. They aren't allowed in ever. Good. I have issues with Puerto Rico rico too what's your issue with puerto rico i have no infrastructure oh please give me three more million dependents

or whatever it is they're so smug too driving their 50s cars puerto rico we're like america but we're not really positives puerto rico yeah they pay like sales tax and that's it they don't pay income taxes but they want like u. us dollars to fix their infrastructure. Dude. The reason we do that for Florida or Louisiana, New York or whatever, when the hurricane Sandy hits is because they've been paying in for the last 200, 200, 300 years. But Puerto Rico, you just take, you just take, you don't pay taxes like the rest of us do. So, you know, you don't see me making health insurance claims

if I don't buy health insurance. I do, but hypothetically. They fight in the Army, huh? Like, you'd be Puerto Rican, you'd jump in the U.S. military? I think so. I think they're U.S. citizens. They definitely don't have their own thing. Here's a bit of trivia. Where do you think the U.S. military draws

its highest recruitment from which states states georgia alabama mississippi like those i would guess florida i think it was like south carolina georgia and then a weird one out in the maybe idaho like something like that like something out in the west i saw it the other day but i was just thinking like that's how you could contribute poor rico like like jump in the military but yeah that infrastructure for shit i don't want them joining it it's just another way for me to pay them you pay me pay your fucking taxes and we'll treat you like a state first make you a state Puerto Rico nice and then we'll check and we're changing the name to Port Rico. Come on. Yes, and no more Spanish

over there. We're naming you Port Ricky, and then you could be a part of the United States. Yeah, you're Port Jonathan. Wait, does Port King Henry? I think Porto means Port. Port of? Port of Rico? It makes sense. I never thought of it. Your name is Port Ricky

That's it If they don't want to contribute It's like that Ron Burgundy It's like that Ron Burgundy thing San Diego What those words mean have been lost to time It's not like you say it means A goat's vagina

It means San Diego Puerto Rico I looked it up That says it means a goat's vagina. I feel like that's vagina. It's San Diego. Puerto Rico, I looked it up. Zach says it means Port Harbor, but I've No, I don't think so. Google said it means Rich Port. Rich Port. Oh, yeah. The Port of the Rich. They call themselves Rich, too.

Why are they always begging for a fucking handout? You're the Rich Port. Shut up. These communists. Wait, the Poro, more like. Yeah, Poro Rico. Shut up. These communists in Puerto Rico. More like. Yeah, Puerto Rico. I'll settle for Port Richard. That's fair.

They're libertarians. They're libertarians. That's it. It's come full circle. They don't want to pay their taxes. They don't want to be part of the system. And then when they get into trouble, they do want to be part. No, they're definitely not libertarians. They're begging to be a part of the federal government. The system's too big and too complex.

That's the problem. That's the real problem. We need a system. They're the least libertarian part of the United States. They're like, don't leave us alone. Take care of us. When they collect, they're socialists. When they pay in, they're libertarians. Like all the banker

crises where they collectivize all their libertarians. Like all the banker crises where they collectivize all their losses and they capitalize all their gains. This brought to you by 2012 fucking March on Wall Street. Loss is private gains. Occupy Wall Street. Occupy Wall Street. I remember that.

That happened when I was in college. Everybody suddenly had big opinions about Wall Street. I could not have given less of a fuck about politics in college i was just like you guys like who cares i was i was dating a college student and i was like in her dorms when that was happening and i i was i was like what do you think about all this you know you're the age to be stupid and and she was like fuck those hippies i wish they'd take a fire hose to them and i was like i i like you yeah yeah i hope they don't at least be real homeless in there the best occupy wall street was fascinating because of the first time everyone really got

to see just how like ineffectual these like far left psychopaths were because it was like all right guys we got to figure out what to do today and they'd go hold on white guy who's speaking you're at the you can't talk right now there's a progressive stag like what are you talking about we're figuring out you know what we're going to burn down today but yeah but you got to go in order of most oppressed the black obviously this black lady should speak first and then like a midget albino would be like hold on hold on i think i should then there'd be like one a crippled guy who's just like you know a wheelchair with like an arm hanging out of it into like the blind retard yeah and then you're like why is that guy leading the talk he doesn't have any leadership

potential as he outscores you in the checklist so you you gotta go last yeah and uh we we really saw our future in Occupy Wall Street. Yeah. It's terrifying. It wasn't great. No. I don't think they accomplished much. Well, because at the end of the day, I'm like, yeah, set bankers on fire. And they're like, we'll set bankers on fire in a second.

First of all, we need to figure out which gender everybody is. I'm like, oh, God damn it. No. No. Just set the bankers on fire. You're so close to knowing what to do. You know who I hate more than the bankers? Our low income white people in West Virginia.

Oh, God damn it. No, no. It got hijacked so quickly. Yeah. I saw our beloved president speaking recently. He referred to Donald Trump as Congressman Trump, which is a weird way to take things. You know,

it's not like a, sometimes it's easy to slip one thing into another. You know, I think it's really easy to forget what order the presidents are in or like to call Trump Obama or something. When Trump calls Biden Obama, I think he's just thinking of Democrats I hate, but it was weird for him to call

Trump Congressman Trump. Yeah, I don't know where that comes from. He's showing the script. I swear to God, every time I see him, look, sometimes he speaks okay, especially when he does his addresses. I think they juice him up. He slaps himself a couple times in the face,

throws some cold water on him. He's getting those caffeine pills, baby. He's ready. Yeah,aps himself a couple times in the face. There's some cold water. Caffeine pills, baby. He's ready. Yeah, he's ready sometimes and he can do it. But sometimes he looks tuckered out, like tuckered out like an old person at a retirement home when it's like, hey. Let's let's all head home. Grandpa needs his rest. It's like whisper everybody in the afternoon. He gets real quiet and mumbly by this.

He does. He gets he can only have a certain amount of stamina in the day. He gets real quiet and mumbly. He does. He can only have a certain amount of stamina in the day. He's an old man. Yeah. I mean, 81-year-olds don't tend to be... Let me ask you a question. If you just bought a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise and you need a new manager, someone who's going to take this thing and make some profits out of it, because you

leveraged everything to get this KFC franchise, would you dare put the current President of the United States behind the helm of the Kentucky fried chicken? Of the past five presidents, if we're picking from those, 0% chance I'm putting Biden in charge of anything. Trump is going to eat through my profits. Yeah, it's going to be some shrinkage. Probably. I feel like Obama or W might be the best. Actually, Clinton.

Clinton's still kicking. He's got some panache, some charisma. He would be out there. Actually, Clinton would be the best one in my- If he made it Louisiana-style chicken or something? In my commercials, I don't think Obama would be in the commercial or W, really. But Clinton would be in the commercials. He'd have a saxophone full the commercials. 100% I'm picking

Clinton to run my fast food franchise. I'm surprised that we are assuming the black man would do a bad job running the chicken restaurant. If Obama's leading your restaurant, I don't want to make racist inferences about black people in Friday. Here we go.

There might be a connection there. They love it. Everybody loves fried chicken. Everybody loves fried chicken. It's fucking delicious. You guys are just missing it. Obama would be too buttoned up with it. He wouldn't want to have fun with the commercials

as a low-quality commercial actor. Clinton would. Obama would be too self-conscious. He kept his pretentious fake accent, but he just, the middles are delicious. Like, delicious. I don't like Obama's speaking style.

Some people found him to be... You like it. I love listening to Obama talk, especially now. Like, Obama would be a great Republican for this cycle. He should switch. That'd be fun. If you took 2008 Obama and threw him on that Republican stage, he'd fit right the fuck in. He'd fit right the fuck in. If you listen to

what he said about the economy, immigration, social issues, he's a Republican from the future. He'd be too far right. He was against gay marriage. They'd be like, hold on, we're past that now. Oh yeah, he would be too far right he he was against gay marriage they'd be like hold on we're past that now oh yeah he'd be he wouldn't he would be too far right for some of them

yeah yeah that was a act of political cowardness i i'm making this up it's just what he projecting but i don't think he was ever against gay marriage i think that he needed to be against gay marriage to get elected yeah he needed evangelicals to uh down in the south to sign on board those black preachers who hold huge sway over their flocks not just like their personal church but they're in charge of organizations that oversee all the churches you need to walk in that room full of black ministers and be like i got your back on this one they're not don't worry you won't be marrying any toms dicks or harrys together then there was obama in his second term knowing he was never going to run for anything again and he's like you know what my children opened my eyes

and now i'm pro-gay marriage i doubt hey man he played the game you gotta respect the guy who plays the game look at my wife got it done yeah if i think i would hope that he the president wasn't allowing his children to change his mind on things. Of course he never believed that. From the mouths of babes, Taylor. You doubt the president? His word? His integrity?

The people on TV are gay, and he's like, that's true. What's his daughter's name? I never thought of it that way. Malia Sasha. I never considered her. I saw one of them in a bikini smoking cigarettes the other day. For shame. One of the Obama daughters.

We didn't get the... He needs to smoke some more cigarettes. Who are you guys hiring of the last five presidents to run your... Obama, if I'm being honest. So that's Biden, Trump, Obama, W, and Clinton. Yeah. Right?

And run my chicken restaurant. And then Carter. And think about this. You can get Carter. Get the sympathy vote. Oh, that's stupid. Clinton is the most... President Carter.

And he is our founder. Peanut oil. And just to be clear, are we getting the today version of them or the presidential version of you're getting the today version of them oh i don't want carter i'm telling you that's that sympathy chicken will sell like wildfire see i think trump would you know be a great salesman but i know he's gonna skim all the profits like i'm not getting that money and he's gonna eat a lot of your I know he's going to skim all the profits. I'm not getting that money. He's going to eat a lot of your... He's going to be taking wings throughout the day.

You would buy a six-piece chicken nugget and get three nuggets. He'd be like... He's like, what, you want change? What, are you broke? Fuck you. Read the bottom of the box and it'd be like, no refunds, no exceptions. No loitering. They'd be like, get the fuck out.

Maybe Bush would be good too. He'd be like, never forget the delicious combos available at the delicious place in Nashville. I want W. I think W's the guy. He might be. Our new eight-petded Twin Tower Burger. The Twin Tower Burger.

With Freedom Fries. Freedom Fries. It makes sense, folks. We've got a bomb. I saw Clinton recently. Clinton is more spry than Biden. He's younger.

Yeah, I'm right. Holy shit. Did you watch the funeral at all for Carter's wife, former first lady? I only saw some still photos. I watched a bit of the video, maybe five minutes of it. I didn't dwell,

but I watched the presidents and first ladies all line up and sit down and be escorted and everything. First of all, Carter, he pulled it together pretty well. He walked. They didn't wheel him.

Carter walked out there. That's why a video is better than a still photo. In the still photos, he looked like a cryptkeeper. Okay, they didn't show his I'm not saying he looked good. He didn't jog out there waving to the crowd or anything. Let me see if I can find the photo I saw. He walked unassisted, which was impressive. How far?

30-40 feet from the door to his chair is all I'm saying. Usually they wheel this guy around. I saw him in the wheel. Okay, anytime you put a blanket over an old guy, it's just, oh, man, it just looks sad. You know what's so bad about this is you know he's not speaking right now. That's like trying to stay alive. Maybe I saw somebody else. They said, and now former President Carter. That's like trying to stay alive. Maybe. Maybe I saw somebody else.

They said, and now former president Carter. And an old dude. That was his grandson. That was the show Carter. You get, you know, everybody knows you get one guy who just walks out. Zach, did you take these tasties? Dude, he's like having a meeting. Zach was there. Fuck you.

This is the kind of vibe I got from the food. You're telling me you saw this man proudly strutting around? I think you saw somebody else. Meanwhile, Kyle's like, he looks great. That's Obama's daughter. I didn't know he was a black woman, though.

He's halfway through opening the Ark of the Covenant and Kyle's like, oh my god. He looks tremendous. I would make it looks tremendous. It looks fine. I would make him president again. He looks ready. He looks pretty. He had a confident strut. The internet was a dream

in this photo. I took the biggest L that I can recall right now on presidential wives being good looking. I was just sure that Trump's wife, while pretty, let's all agree. She's pretty.

Yeah. Presidents are like the winners of the winners. They are the most successful people that America has during their turn. Like that's it. Right. I don't care who you think is the bees knees. The president is right there with him. Yeah.

So I assumed that all their wives would be sort of their equivalent on the female side, right? Turns out a lot of these presidents have non-lookers. Dogs. Yeah. So I was a little surprised at Carter's wife. I think she's top 20, 15% in presidential wives. I would like to see a general's wife. What did Patton's wife look like?

You know what i mean like like someone who's who doesn't have to have a forward-facing partner who's in front of cameras perhaps or being judged on her elegance or her education or her background per se like if you're like the general can you just have like a dirty whore wife who's who's like stacked like like can you just do that or maybe just a bad bitch in general who wouldn't you know there's some giant titties yeah I mean I would be curious but I know that Trump definitely wins

the hottest first lady of all time contest and it's what if he upgrades before how hardcore would it be if he upgraded before this presidency because death exists it is a blowout. We don't count girlfriends. If we count girlfriends, Trump still wins. I don't think Marilyn was

a beauty for the ages or anything. Is that Carter's wife, young? No, that's Hillary Clinton. That's Clinton, baby. Oh, you're right. In 1952. She looks better there than I expected. That's her best fucking angle. I think Kyle's right. I think this is a very flattering photo.

She looks pretty arrogant. I think Kyle's right. I think this is a very flattering photo. Yeah. She looks pretty arrogant. I love that documentary where they talked about how bad her body odor was. Really? Really? Yeah. Was she on that all-natural... There's a biography that a woman that went to school with her and Bill wrote about her, about how she was disgusting to be around, that she didn't wash well or something.

I don't know what's true. Of course not. Of course not. I know she eats she eats babies though so i'm gonna choose oh yeah maybe she had baby breath and it wasn't bo yeah she had baby breath oh she had a baby breast okay carl malone talk what do we got here i that whole pizzagate thing like came back up right the investigator that yeah one of those you got arrested for child porn no that was that was a myth that didn't actually happen no no that was one of those psyops i'm pretty sure that they said like oh one of the lead investigators actually got arrested no that was what i thought that happened i'm pretty sure that was i'm pretty sure that was misinformation by a bunch of pro-Pizzagate

guys to be like, oh, see? It's real or whatever. I saw it was debunked, but feel free to prove me wrong. It's possible that I have been misled. I did see a meme on Political Compass

memes that suggested that the investigator from that got they said something about toddler rape like they went doesn't that sound a little too convenient like I want that to be I'm not going to disable my ad blocker for

you Forbes sought to find somewhere else Oh Elon Musk said pizza gate might be a little suspicious dude i know he retweeted a thing that that that like talked about what i'm talking about which may or may not be real it says he posted and then deleted which isn't to say i know you're wrong i'm just looking at what's in front of me yeah and retweeted it um he had a he had a whole meltdown yesterday is this the fuck him part yeah like yeah fuck you

what do you say to these people who uh worried about advertising with on your service after this that and the other he's like i say fuck you don't advertise well what do you mean we of course you want them to advertise no i don't fuck you don't advertise f you that's what i've got you and then he mentioned roger Roger Eggers or whatever. Bob. Bob. Right? Am I right?

Yeah, thank you. Yeah, you're probably right. Oh, so it looks like... He's the Disney guy, I think, right? James Gordon Meek was arrested for... I can't keep up with my American oligarchs. So this guy, James Gordon Meek, 53, of Arlington, Virginia, used an online messaging platform on his iPhone to send and receive images and videos depicting minors engaging in sexually explicit conduct. Some of the images and videos depicted prepubescent minors and minors under the age of 12.

However, he never reported on Pizzagate. So that's the thing is a journalist got arrested for being a creep. And then they tried to say, yeah yeah and he was like the lead uh journalist talking about pizza gates like oh no he actually never reported on that even once here's so this is just a run-of-the-mill another pedophile just a regular pedophile yeah yeah what do you think of the elon musk thing kyle i i uh i hate to see him uh clearly beleaguered and a little bit down uh if i saw him go to israel the other day to try to make up for uh that that tweet he made about the jews yeah he toured the kibbutz uh wearing a very ill-fitting bulletproof vest that that just

really made him cut a poor image. And then it was funny. And, you know, Netanyahu kissed his ass, of course, because richest man in the world is here. And Elon's like, I'm going to rebuild these kibbutzes. Don't worry about it. I got it. He's like, really? Oh, thank you so much. And big PR moment. But nobody cared because he tweeted something mean, apparently.

And then it was funny. The leaders in Gaza invited him to come there. And I was talking to my girlfriend. She's like, did you hear elon's gonna go to gaza i'm like i'll bet you anything you want in the world that elon is nowhere near gaza at this moment she's like how can you tell i was like ah there's a kid that tweets out his exact location constantly where's elon musk right now and it was like los angeles california he touched down 87 minutes ago i'm like yeah he's not in guys he's not fucking going in there yeah he's on a little apology tour he's not gonna he's not about to show the other side of the story by al schwitz

kissed the boots and then headed home so did he say something anti-semitic so i don't even know there was a tweet article meme thing that said something that said something like Jews incite anti-white racism and do this, that, and the others. Some things that may or may not be somewhat factual. And Elon tweeted, this is the truth. Like, he typed those words, something like that. He admitted that there are some Jewish people on the planet who do things that are not cool.

He co-signed a tweet that was borderline at best, is my viewpoint on it. Are you talking about the first tweet that he got in trouble for? It's hard to keep track. Where is it? What did we even search to find what it was? What it was was the

Jew tweet. There it is, this one. Taylor, read it please. Someone said, Jewish communities have been pushing oh yeah this one yeah someone please yeah someone said okay i don't want to read it you read jewish communities have been pushing the exact kind of dialectical hatred against whites that they claim to want people to stop using against them i'm deeply disinterested in giving the tiniest shit now about western jewish populations coming to the disturbing and then it says show more i don't know what the rest of the tweet is and then elon musk said you have said the actual truth to what he was getting at is that there's this blanket uh you know there's the idea

that it's kind of okay to hate white people you know or white guys and that uh now jewish people are complaining that people are saying it's okay to hate jewish people and that guy was saying well yeah but you guys were on the side that says okay to hate white guys and you're being hypocritical and that's kind of what elon musk was agreeing with i guess this idea that and i do see that you know that society is kind of biased against white guys where they're like well you're white guys you have nothing to worry about so we can be mean to you and hate you for no reason that being said if i own a billion trillion dollar social media network and somebody says anything about the jews i'm gonna go i don't have any opinion on that at all you're doing that it does seem like meanwhile if he went in on the amish no one would say

he wouldn't be petting a goat in pennsylvania apologizing all gotta do as a businessman, if anyone asks you how do you feel about the Jews, you go, kinda like them. And you move along and your life's gonna be great. That's it. If Elon Musk wasn't saying controversial stuff on X, would anyone be paying attention to it? Like, the X?

You would still be using it to fight with other people. I don't need to fight with Elon Musk. X, I feel like Elon Musk is effectively bringing a lot of attention to the platform that he wants to have a lot of attention on. People are saying he's anti-Semitic, and maybe that was anti-Semitic. I kind of think

it was, but I also saw him do anti-Hamas stuff. Didn't he ban the term from the river to the sea or something like that? I think they were trying to get him to, but he refused to do it. Am I wrong? I thought it. No, Woody's right.

He tweeted like, that's a call for, yeah. Elon said, as I said earlier this week, decolonization from the river to the sea and similar euphemisms necessarily implied genocide. Clear calls for extreme violence are against our terms of service and will result in suspension and then this other guy said will you suspend the Likud party whose founding charter uses the phrase from the river to the sea in the same way Palestinian activists use it

yeah will you do that Elon got it I fucking hate gotcha tweets and he's definitely not the whole like hands off free speech say anything you want guy that he said he was gonna be but he also doesn't seem to have exactly clearly chosen his side yeah i i mean you can everyone seems like they're allowed to say more on twitter now than they were a year two years ago whenever it was when he bought it like for sure dude i'm like

sometimes saying retarded again i don't know if i'm allowed to but i've been doing oh you can fire retard as much as you want they can't take that from us that's why i got banned for the first time though i got banned for a year for saying retard wow i didn't even call yeah for a year i was off because the reason was somebody we were talking about uh the new Snow White movie was coming out and they're like, I don't know why they can't just get actors. And I'm like, well, because they're not going to hire a fucking retarded midget to play

dopey. And then I got reported for calling dopey a retarded midget, which he he is. He's a retarded midget. That's what he is. It's true. I was talking about a Disney. He's a beloved retarded midget. It wasn't even used from a term of insult. Yeah, for a year I was talking about a Disney character. He's a beloved, retarded midget. It wasn't even used from a term of insult. Yeah, for a year, I was gone.

I saw the actress who plays Snow White speak, and she's like, it's not 1937 anymore. She doesn't care about finding true love. She's looking to be a leader. I'm like, oh, I'm not watching this movie. Yeah. Are they redoing Snow White? Yeah, with a brown chick and

no dwarves no they i think they finally got bullied into doing dwarves because they were like that's so much of the movie snow white's in it yes but it revolves around the dwarves much no they had so they had these set photos and everybody was really confused because they're like, are those the fucking dwarves? And it's just like a bunch of weirdo hippies. Yeah. Okay. And they're like, are those the seven dwarves? And I think they were.

There is a dwarf in there. There's only one, though. Yeah. And the rest of them are just. That's confusing. Oh, he is a dwarf. I thought he was a short king from the first view. Yeah.

Why is there a black lady? This is all Snow White's fanciful band. Dopey, sleepy, tranny. Is it bad to call you Snow Brown? I mean, I bet I could search that on Twitter and find a bunch.

How dare she wear the same dress? How dare you stand the same dress? How dare she wear the dress? How dare you stand where she stood? But they did just put out a set photo of her surrounded. They've gone back on it, and now they are going to have CGI dwarves. That's ridiculous. I don't even want Gal Gadot to play the evil queen. The evil queen was paler than Snow White.

Gal Gadot also is a Jew. Why can't we have any any white people i do that's fair the huntsman's gonna be idris elba what i don't even know what that is but should i be upset about it should i care you sure oh my god idris elba that guy who i think is a pretty good actor without these cartoons our culture amounts to like fried cheese and corn without these characters I don't know yes I don't think we the dwarves look like shit

because I think terrible I think they had to like very this is the this is what they're actually doing for the dwarves now like Disney put this picture out so I think they had to go into whatever footage they had of all these fanciful multicolored people dancing around. All of it's animated. Well, not her, though. The girl's not.

She looks animated to me. That dress doesn't look real. They probably color corrected it. It does look very odd. It looks fantastical. I'm surprised that none of the dwarves are black, though. I gotta say. I'm surprised they didn't try to make one of them black.

Aren't they all supposed to be in the same family? Am I misremembering part of it? I don't know. What they should have done is use CGI to make Kevin Hart should be one. That could be so funny.

You have the regular actor's faces. The Rock could be one. I'd be fine with that. Put his face on a little character. Like he's the littlest one. How about a little blast from the nineties past? Eddie Murphy plays all of them. Eddie Murphy's coming back for Beverly Hills cop and he looks good. Good for Eddie Murphy.

I saw the, I saw the, uh, like behind the scenes photos, like black, don't crack. Eddie Murphy's got to be in his sixties or something. Those movies are from the eighties.

He looks like he could still do it. Like he, like no wrinkles, His hairline's glued on, but who cares? That's what black people have. Their hair restoration programs. Can't compete with that. Okay, I want to circle back to that. Taylor, they all

are related. They were all hatched from eggs at the same time. I don't know if that's a joke or not. No, I read it. It's on Wikipedia. Wait, the dwarves come from laid eggs? Hold on. Well, the same mother, if they're all cracking at the same time, just firing

out seven dwarf eggs and then... They are an all-male race that hatches from eggs. Oh wait, this is something else. An all-male race. How does that work? Grumpy is played by one of the eight dwarf brothers who hatched from eggs at the same time. Like all dwarves, he's immediately sent to work in the mines and is given a pickaxe which he names dreamy because his egg was accidentally sprinkled with fairy dust by the fairy nova

he dreams about her and falls in love with her it goes on oh my god what a terrible life these or how can little people be upset about this is like you didn't hatch from an egg it's a different thing yeah you're not you don't even have whimsical minding yeah you're you just can't ride roller coasters exactly yeah i don't know what we do to fix the snow white situation but i'm very invested well are you as invested as Ben Sparrow at the Daily Wire? He needs to go make his own fucking Snow White movie. That's what I was just thinking. Fuck this shit.

It's so embarrassing. The whole parallel economy, because I have friends who are conservatives and feel like they've been pushed out of creative spaces. They're like, yeah, it's hard to exist in Hollywood as a right-wing guy, but I just want to make media. i'm like that's awesome i hope that the daily wire will fund like cool projects from guys who just kind of got forced out or whatever else but all they can do is be like hey you see what disney's doing we're gonna make our version of it hey what do you think

about trans people we're gonna make a movie about them or whatever else i'm like why don't you just make like tv shows and movies that aren't stupidly political or based on whatever disney's doing yeah the right wing economy does feel like a bit of a grift right like the right wing economy cannot exist without the left it is only a response to the left it's the left is making a snow white we're gonna make a snow white the left doesn't like trans people we're gonna make a movie about trans people it's like just why don't you just make a star wars movie just your own star wars the right wing coffee make a cool one beer the right ring whatever it's just overpriced bullshit it's because the marketing pitch doesn't work unless it's aren't you aren't you tired of the chocolate that hates you no i don't really give a shit well

our chocolate for triple just 25 a fucking bar we don't hate you or some shit don't you want your chocolate to love you i'm like i don't give a shit who makes my chocolate bar it's a chocolate bar i don't care who makes my razor i don't i don't give a shit about any of this because i'm an adult i just want the best possible razor yes if it was like gamble doesn't have a political stance they just want to sell products yeah their political stances don't alienate anybody look if every dollar from my my hershey chocolate bar went to like molesting a child in an african mine i would get it but at the end of the day chocolate tell me more about the molested wherever the best chocolate's coming

from is where it's probably going to succeed but yeah i mean like big corporations will make like political stuff like that whole bud light thing and then they'll end up eating their lunch on it but for the most part they just want to make a lot of money and have good reports for shareholders and that's what they're going to do and then you have ben shapiro and his merry gaggle of retards and like the only thing i see of him is like these movies being promoted where like on silent i'll scroll past it on twitter and just like just from the still first few seconds i'm like oh the all the acting is bad it's going to be bad and it's going to be a bunch of ham-handed meme jokes that are way outdated about like some there's gonna be an attack helicopter joke in there and they're gonna think that slays like it's just gonna be

embarrassing and lame and that's the worst part. Like, it's just going to be embarrassing and lame. And that's the worst part. It's how embarrassing. It's embarrassing when I see stuff like that. Where I'm like, guys, I really want. I honestly, as somebody who wants. I hate, you know, when guys get, like, pushed out of, like, creative fields because of their politics or whatever else. I think it's bullshit. You know, there's been, like, a lot of writers and stuff like that.

Like, Orson Scott Card is a guy. He's, he's like a famously the guy who wrote ender's game if you ever saw that read that book or something yeah yeah okay so that guy's like you know he's like a hardcore christian or christian so i don't remember but he hates gay people all this shit you're like yeah that sucks but he's still a really good sci-fi writer how about that guy uh you know like they're maybe a little more than the regular christian amount you know like oh they're all degenerates and destroying society and you know yeah well if on one end you got jk rowling and the other right you have hp lovecraft right oh you guys want to meet my cat no hp lovecraft guess what i named it i don't want to guess we know hp

we know what your cat's name is it is funny it starts with an N we can't say it on air he named it the same thing Wings of Redemption named his dog he named it exactly what you think it is Wings named his dog the same thing as Middy has a soundboard that he'll play when things get awkward

or quiet and it's Wings going we had a dog named ninja it's just a clip from way back in the day on pka and he's just like mentioned that he used he named his dog the n-word at some point or they named their dog i doubt he named it granny named it or something you know it is you know i guess it's just when veto said he named it exactly what you think i'm like i don't think, because I'm thinking the N-word. Couldn't be that. That's also what H.P. Lovecraft named it.

Did you look it up? And you went, oh, well. I'm guessing that Wings had a soft A at the end of his pet's name, and H.P. Lovecraft, hard, the hardest R you've ever come across. He didn't even have a soft A when he said it on the show. H.P. Lovecraft held the R for three seconds every time he said his cat's name. He was hitting it hard. No one hit it hard.

I remember Wings of Redemption was on this show. It was a long time ago. He was absolutely insisting that Sand Ninja was an acceptable term used everywhere. I've heard it said in Congress to refer to the ongoing conflict. He definitely did not hear it said in congress to refer to the ongoing conflict he definitely

did not hear it he just kept saying it like bam bam remember obama just wouldn't quit it with that all these uh sand ninjas we're gonna take care of that that was an upsetting time that's gonna be okay that was an upsetting time what wings dog i mean be okay. That was an upsetting time? What? Wings dog? I mean, you guys, so now I know you guys have a history with wings, right? What do you think of his new podcasting life? I don't know anything about it. I don't know. He and Boogie.

Yeah. And, of course, Tommy C. Who's a good guy. I hope it's going well. How can I see him? Yeah. Is it on his channel? It's Tommy C. a good guy how can i see it yeah i don't know his channel it's uh i don't know tommy c used to do a

podcast with keemstar and then they had a famous falling out of some sort uh but he's just a cool guy who lives in germany i really don't i really don't keep up with wings and it may not appear that way but i really never have people would just kind of send me his stuff and like like when something crazy happened like if he fell out of a chair or if he if something bad happened you know i i'd get like hey do you see this you see that but um i had i think our somebody mentioned maybe harley mentioned something about because we're talking about boogie that's what it was we were looking into what boogie was up to and we saw that because you know boogie just had that whole scary documentary that he made about himself for some reason because he needs some he needs some uh some i feel like he's

like crazy it's like when eminem comes out and he's like i'm poor i'm i'm white trash you fucked my girl like he made the documentary so somebody else couldn't or something well he didn't make he says this other guy made it but like i don't know boogie does this thing it drives me nuts with the emotional manipulation where he goes well when this documentary comes out everyone's gonna see what a big piece of shit i am and you're all gonna hate me blah blah and i'm like buggy i know what you're doing because then everybody in the comments goes no boogie you're not a piece of shit i love you and then like the documentary comes out he goes well now you can all see i'm a big fat loser. And I'm the worst.

Now my life's over. No, Boogie, we love you. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And just constantly fishing for fucking sympathy. Dude, that was not happening. That's some low-key shit. Yeah, that was not happening in the comments of that documentary.

When I watched it after it came out, I did not see a single comment that was voted up that had like poor boogie every single one was like i am taking glee in the failure of this fucking weirdo like every single one was like this guy had everything and he pissed it away because he's a fat tard like mean comment section and it wasn't on boogie's channel and so like they're living there well i think right now the controversy is that boogie has uh kind of portrayed it as i'm completely bankrupt and i'm completely fucked and blah blah and then if you look at it it's like well dude you own that or like you know you paid off like half that house so you got like give equity you have a lot of equity in that house right there it's not like zero dollars in your bank he's basically acting like he's dirt poor

when i when i look at him i'm like he probably got more money yeah the actual poor people who are actually struggling for sure yeah it's like somebody's got 300 at the end of the month and it's like christmas is coming up i have 300 and then boogie's sitting over there in a house that he's got quarter million dollars of equity and he's still got money flowing in and he's like yeah and he's been like oh i gotta sell off my magic card collection which is worth you know two hundred thousand dollars and you're like okay well i mean i guess it sucks to tell you shit but a lot of people he's almost a thousand dollar magic collection he's 400 pounds oh he has like six years to live oh let's not do that how much money does he need? Right? Like he's retired. Enough to leave his new 19-year-old girlfriend's

family. She's playing that game. She's like, alright. I don't gotta fuck this guy that long. Woody came in with some basic accounting. Woody's like, alright, the normal span of a reverse mortgage is this long.

I'm doing some retirement planning for him and it's easy peasy you've got 18 months to live this is this is all in your wallet yes yeah he you're right about the like larping is way poorer than he is and also it's just i don't know maybe he was expecting some sympathy out of that but i don't know how you could when it's like he could have owned his house outright no mortgage no more payment and still spent 35 000 on prostitutes and be in the position he's in now he could have done that i want to have a private conversation about these hoes because i want i need to understand what it is because like i like women too like and i i'm not about paying for sex and so so like I'm kind of on the same wavelength

I'm kind of on the same wavelength here right but how do you spend that much like because he was buying stupid gifts and shit yeah he's buying them all you have the mindset of like here's the money give me the sex see ya

and he's like why don't I buy you some car seat for your baby child there and I'll get you this nice coat and whatever. I was like, Boogie, just let the whore go home. You don't need to take nothing from him. In the sugar world,

you're paying for the gap between your sexual market value and hers, you know like so it's very expensive for him or like you for example there are probably sugar babies who would just like there's not an adjustable rate take a room in your house should be it's not just so so i don't know about the sugar baby thing, because what I what I see there is like the hottest of girls who can play this crazy game where they they've got like eight guys on the hook and they're only fucking maybe two of them. And they might fuck a third someday. But like two of them know they're never getting fucked.

They get the whole hand dinner and shit like they're running a real game where they're pulling down to three hundred thousand of like cash money gifts a year from these they got ball players on the chain and shit you got there's some upper echelon sugar babies like that for sure there's instagram bitches that are working the nba team rosters right um but on the other hand there's who boogie for a few hundred dollars can get like sucked off and bubble bathed up and whatever the fuck he wants maybe if you throw a grand it's like all night three grand and you get two of them and like I think he wanted a relationship with these girls they'll they'll do that for like

a grand a night though like I don't know how he gets that crazy like that's like I mean like 24 hours like I just don't understand how he spent that much and there's no way I'm buying a whore yeah like an actual prostitute that I'm gonna buy her like purses and shit yeah uh man i wish i had watched the documentary but i heard yeah they would just like basically fall in love with them and be like buying them shit it's like bro this entire she's your waitress basically okay you don't have an

actual right yeah she refilled she she batted her eyes when she refilled your drink but it doesn't mean you guys are like falling in love just tip her and move on uh don't tip her actually you ever know a guy you never give her a little tip if you go to the strip club but he's like she really likes me man i'm telling you like yeah and you egg that guy on because it's funny you go i know you should give her another couple hundred bucks then she'll then she'll come home with you she said my eyes look like this and that we went to the same blah blah blah what wow that's awesome what are you doing right now i don't know you got to enable that guy hey my atm could only give me 800 a day can you spot me 500 what are you doing you go yeah 20 interest and

he goes oh thanks dude you're like yeah don't worry how much did boogie say he spent was it half a million he said 200 000 i think two and a quarter million i think i heard yeah but anyway over how much time though like like like yeah like 200 grand you know over i don't know, no amount of time. Even if it was over 10 years, it's still too much to be spending on who was. That's what I mean. I don't know what we all spend on our ladies, but it gets the right when you, when you over time, you know, and, and you just, just get a real doll and then, you know, put a voice

box. They make them in his size. I think, I think there are then, you know, put a voice box in. Do they make them in his size? I think there are any size you want, right? $37,000. Boogie, here you go. Just having an airdrop. There's this company in Korea that makes these sex dolls that look

exactly like video game characters. I'm like, man, I tried to get them to send me the Tifa sex doll to make a video with. Yeah, which company does that? That's gross. I want that stock of the hedgehogs. What's their website? Who is Tifa?

Tifa from Final Fantasy. They make a Tifa sex doll that looks exactly like fucking Tifa. It's insane. And you want to fuck it? Zach, show me. I mean, obviously I want to fuck it, but I also wanted to make it all funny. Show us a picture so we can know if we want to fuck it. I'm going to find a picture.

I don't know what Tifa is, but I want to. If you see a picture of a Tifa, you're going to want a Tifa. This looks like it's safe. I wouldn't want to fuck Queen Latifa. She was a safe for work link. She had her phases of thinness. I don't know if this is...

Oh, it's 15% off. Guys, I got to get one. This looks like an artist's rendering. How much one this looks like it's a 1700 this is from like resident evil 6 or something it's like a cutout of a from the game or something like oh this is the doll yeah it says free implanted hair free premium outfits free gel don't scroll too far down don't scroll too far down. Free gel butt. Don't scroll too far down that page. Soft butt. Free standing feet. Free removable vagina. That's better than a real girl. Dude, free removable vagina.

Normally, you got to pay extra for the removable vagina. Yeah. Usually, you have to fold the whole thing up and cram it in your dishwasher. An Evo skeleton upgrade. Is that like rebar ribs or something yeah you want to pose that bitch oh you're right yeah it needs to be semi-rigid for posing i wonder how heavy it is but wouldn't it be better if boogie just lived out his disgusting sex fantasies with a rubber woman instead of spending 200 000 on a nonsense he could have a baseball team of characters if he just would have done that instead he could be fucking all he could

be taking baths with all of his favorite cartoon friends hey you want resident evil i found the actual company here you can get jill valentine although i guess this is just the cop outfit for your regular jill valentine doll yeah valentine this one's only 420 dollars yeah but that's i think that's just for the outfit i think you don't get the doll i think they're saying the lamest one i think it's the most embarrassing sex toy the sex doll yeah i don't think it's the least embarrassing it's like it's an actual woman that you're fucking. It's not a fake vagina in the shape of a flashlight. The most embarrassing one is in terms of spending

money on it. I have a horse dildo. I'm much less embarrassed by it than I am that a full life sex doll. When you're winning on all fours, you're not a little embarrassed. She wears the saddle it's fine by me

you're like god those spurs hurt you're cutting me giddy up yeah I'm not embarrassed by that at all I got a couple of those bad dragon toys but I would think butt stuff is the most embarrassing

butt stuff for boys that would be the most embarrassing. What? Butt stuff for boys? That would be the most embarrassing. I don't... If you had what? Like a rubber butt that you fuck? No, he means putting something in your butt. If they see butt plugs... There's plausible deniability there

because you see some butt plugs. I'm like, yeah, man. I'm sticking things in bitches' asses. Oh, okay, cool. But if they see that sex doll, they know what you're doing with it. Yeah, I get my girl to lick it. It's hot to me. You're saying like the most embarrassing thing for your friends to find out about? Is that what you're saying? I want you to eat my sex doll's pussy.

Eat your sex doll's pussy. While I sit in the corner. You want to see how fast a woman can run? I want to be a virtual cuck. The most embarrassing thing you can do is eat a sex doll's pussy i think you're right girl no like get your real girl to eat your sex doll's pussy that's the plausible deniability i don't play with that thing it's exactly disgusting that's just for her and then i don't even kiss her afterward because she's got fucking silicone mouth

latex flavored mouth don't like that yeah i think you're right that might never i don't know the having a horse dildo with a little labor label maker on it that has your name on there and said this is my uh mine's blue and it's got like some like i don't know like purple like stripes on it shit it's all silly how far can you get it in? Can you get past the knot? All the fucking way. It's actually enormous. It's more for shits and giggles than anything. You pull that thing out of a drawer like, you ready? Everybody laughs.

Wasn't Bad Dragon making the dildos that lay little silicon eggs inside you? Yes! We've gone to that site on the show a couple times and every time they branch out and find whole new... It'll be like, you ever imagine what a griffin's dick looked like here you go pussies too you can i went to the uh vegas porn awards and i interviewed some of those guys and they're very they're very passionate about what they do the designers what else did

you do at the vegas pornography convention uh i i did a bit where i told all these porn stars that the only way i could get my uncle's inheritance was to spread his ashes on their bodies and then i had to spread them on his five most favorite porn stars bodies so i i recorded a video of me walking around a porn convention asking porn stars if i could sprinkle my dead uncle's ashes on them in order to claim my inheritance for my porn loving uncle. And they all agreed. They all agreed.

Most of them agreed, so I'd sprinkle a little bit of ash on their titties and then walk away. I appreciate that. Do you get the inheritance? I feel like ladies who do porn are very practical thinking women. They're like, really? You get the inheritance if you sprinkle it on me. Huh?

Yeah. That's sterile. Yeah, go for it. I've had worse. I've had worse. This is the least offensive body remnant I've ever had on me for money. I got shit on for $300 one time. Sprinkle away, dude.

Like, you know, I don't care. How much ash did you bring? Because when you cremate someone, they give you way more ash than you think you're going to get. It's a big box. I had a little urn with a good amount of ash in there, yeah. I mean, I obviously didn't bring actual human remains,

sadly. That might be a crime. I was getting my dog's ashes made into diamonds the other day because i got dog's ashes and um it's ridiculously expensive turns out it's about the same as just buying diamonds that kind of makes sense also total sense is there any sort of like thing that says like here's how much of the ashes actually get made into a diamond like how would you even know

yeah like none like what well i mean you send them the ashes and they compress them supposedly and then they laugh and high five and they laugh and they send you like they send you a little diamond well you just gotta trust i mean how do i know the mortuary actually sent me like nana's ashes right like i i gave them my grandmother and they gave me back the biggest Chinese takeout box you've ever seen. I don't know what happened in between. That's true. The only thing that identifies it is the name on the box that gets shipped to your house.

We buried the box. It's weird having remains shipped to your house and you're like, oh, what's this? Oh, it's not my spin drift. It's mom. Have you seen the video? Have you seen the video? They handed them to drift. It's mom. Have you seen the video? Have you seen the video? They handed them to me.

That's dark. They handed them to me at the funeral, like after the funeral, under where the hearse was parked. I still remember very well. I was like... The person that handed them to me was holding them in one hand,

and I was like, God damn it. Give it to me. What are you doing? Put your hand under my grandmother, please. You're spinning it in the air like a nerf football it's whistling like you're the harlem globetrotter over there have you seen that they can now uh instead of taxidermy they can like freeze dry your pet and it just looks creepy

like it looks like it's there man forever pet huh yeah so like it has here i got a video i don't know if that's what you want to see but they just take all the organs out i don't know what they replace them with gonna be dark it'll be like sawdust oh this is oh this is oh my god so for those for those of you on what they do when you're when your animal dies they I don't care what process, but they've used some sort of black magic to basically preserve it almost perfectly, like 90%, 95%, depending on the animal. And that thing, oh my God, that would hurt my feelings. I would cry every time I saw that. I would fucking tear up. This would absolutely make me cry if my poor little dog, I'm just being awash with memories and sadness every time I walk in the room.

Oh, they did a rabbit. You just put it in like a little pet bed and it's just there. Oh, my God. I hate that. I hate this so much. Do the people in the comments like it? This this got 189 ups. This is beautiful.

If I were ever to do this with my cat, I'd probably have to keep her in some glass box with a pillow under her. Well, how long has this lady been dead? I wouldn't mind seeing them every day. There's nothing. She looks so lifelike. Look at her.

Jeez. I want to know. They got to put, they got to put something in the cavity though, right? It can't stop them full of like uh foam and uh and stuff like that but they got is there one person in the comments who's is speaking truth to power here i need to find it like this is absurd they have like a like an outline of a dog

that they stretch all right i don't know what they're doing but in taxidermy they've got like a the outline of an animal that they re-stretch the skin over and then you know what i mean so it's not even really that your actual shape of your cat yeah you don't get the bones and the innards or anything they just like ah you killed a fox huh they take all the skin off and they stretch it over the fox like yeah thing this like that you get some reasonable people down here i've got a bunch of deer done i would feel uneasy to stare at my lifeless pet like that. I wish I had known about this. No, I miss my little friends tremendously. And it would,

I miss ex-girlfriend's dogs more than the ex-girlfriend. You know that? Like I've got two different ex-girlfriends that I got really close with their animals. And I'll think about the animals and I'll get much more feelings of, man, I missed

that than I ever do thinking about the girls. You think about an old ex-girlfriend and you're like, they were good times. I kind of missed when we'd sit and watch fucking cartoons before she went to school. That was a nice day. 2020. 2020.

I dropped her off at school. had to give a a corrective you know finger wag to her teacher for jones not giving her a good a miss jones let her out at recess miss jones 23 years old 20 old hat she spends her recess in my car whether you like it or not and you can't stop me what do you you pull up to. You pull up to an elementary school in a sports car wearing sunglasses like, get in, babe. You're like, God, that guy's a fucking ghoul. Oh, that's Kyle.

Everyone hates him. He's always trolling around elementary schools in sunglasses. He's got a whole around elementary schools in sunglasses. He's got a whole backseat full of fucking Pokemon cards. But yeah, I hate that. I think I hate the freeze-dried pet more than I could hate anything on this Bad Dragon site. Yeah. Scraps.

I'm going to freeze-dry you. But yeah, when I think back to Ex girlfriends dogs i'm like oh there was never a bad moment you little buddy you were always good you were always good love dogs you never gave me any bullshit you ever have a friend like what they wanted to watch didn't you yeah i was gonna say i have some friends the friend was okay but i way more enjoyed their cat i'll just go over the house to play with that cat yeah yeah i've never gotten that close to a cat i'm like that guy was kind of an asshole but his cat was fun i just pretended he said dog so i could agree yes yeah okay but i knew this dude who had a cat the cat could like fetch bottle caps it was crazy you would drink a, you would pull the bottle cap off, toss it across

the room. I was like, I never knew a cat could fucking play fetch. This is awesome. I can appreciate that. Now, I have been... I'm getting a dog soon. One of our dogs died recently. He was 16 years old. I had to put it down. Very traumatic. I did it in the house.

I had the vet come grab the piano wire and just went down. I love you, buddy. I love you. Oh! Like a buckshot in your kitchen. Oh!

It's just... Oh, don't you hate it? The oblong flight. No, they came in and put it down in the living room bet they're super sad um and so it's time for a new dog or cat now I've narrowed it down to like

mini schnauzer I think that's what I'm getting you sent one of the pictures you sent one of those guys they were I don't know I've sent a lot of dogs I'll send you the newest lineup um but I'm thinking mini schnauzer but I've also looked at those Maine Coon cats, which are just really big, beautiful cats that go for like seven hundred to three thousand dollars. Like this is a big boy cat. And they do have those dog like personality.

Some of them do that are more out. You might walk them on a leash. They'll play fetch and stuff and they're fucking big like 25 30 pounds or something like a big ass cat and they're pretty when you look at the pictures of them they have like lynx ears some of them do they're like real tall and like really interesting facial markings um don't throw that in the mix with the pups keep it a dog home all the dogs will get along better like it'll just gel better probably so it's that that's like five percent chance that i that i get the fancy cat but good i think yeah but i think the mini schnauzer is the way to go those things are what kind of cat is it you're looking at a main coon yeah oh man if you want to be pulling fur off your clothes every day, get the Maine Coon.

No. I shed like an MF-er, dude. Yeah, my Husky sheds super bad. It's really annoying to deal with. Yeah, so that'd just be like the cat version of a Husky as far as shedding, right? Just a shit ton. Nothing's probably as bad as a Husky as far as shedding. I don't know. There's lots of stupid purchases you can make.

But I remember if you bought one of those real exotic cats, a lynx cat, that would be a nightmare. Something that wants to spray that foul piss everywhere. Do lynxes spray like crazy? Anthony Cumia had one of those. Like one of those giant lynx cats. And it's like, just get a dog. It's an interesting balance.

Like how hybrid you want it to be right like the more links it is the cooler it is but the worse a pet it is the more house cats you have like if it's one eight links it's still a little cool but it's a way better pet so dealer's choice yeah oh let me tell you the dog i was just saying i'm almost certainly going to get this miniature schnauzer but also in the running and i swear to god i would get it if it weren't in idaho if you go to puppies.com zach and look for a um an irish doodle it's half irish wolfhound and half poodle irish wolfhounds are gargantuan they're like 150 pounds super tall dogs like like they're taller than great danes but leaner i think and they have a ridiculous sort of like shaped snout and like body type to them i think they're beautiful um but they crossbred one with a poodle and there's

a bunch of this whole litter and they're even like not as expensive as some of the more pricey designer dogs a lot of dogs are 3500 i3,500. I'm sorry. I ain't buying a $3,500 dog. It's too much. You better have some kind of skills. I really like the idea of getting a dog and then getting your dog a dog. This is my Rottweiler

and this is his dog. This miniature pincher. It looks just like him, but it's small. It's his dog. Look at Dingo there. He's my favorite. Dingo's a cutie. That's a good looking dog. Dingo's gonna be fucking

Wolfadoodle. See, why do they gotta give it a stupid name? They gotta put doodle on there. Yeah, so who invented the doodle? Why'd you name a dog a... What's a doodle? Anything mixed with a poodle. Anything mixed with a poodle is a doodle? Why did you name it dog? Because it's a... What's a doodle? Anything mixed with a poodle. Anything mixed with a poodle is a doodle?

So here's the deal. They started mixing poodles with everything because their hair is hypoallergenic. They don't shed. So you take a, I don't know, yellow lab, a Doberman pinch or whatever and you make a Dober doodle and suddenly you've got a dog

that doesn't shed doesn't make you sneeze and i have a bernie's mountain dog doodle it's called a bernie doodle and he's this big goofy sweet thing that's got curly q fur that like doesn't shed or make people itchy awesome he's the coolest dog i've ever had so i really lean toward a doodle mix of any kind and i really like digging deep on the mix of any kind and i really like digging deep on the internet for exotic doodles i like to see anything that they've made it let a poodle whenever i put in exotic doodles i get something else i like kyle has a favorite dog i guess i do too i just don't like to admit it but i i picture kyle the dad being like i got this one

boy he's got blonde hair good grades best kid ever best kid i have i got this other kid a little i got this other hair piece of shit days a week i fucking hate that you fucking sheds i'm honest i got this one half asian kid he's smart as fuck you would not believe very low body odor on that yeah i told you high percentage of Japanese men do not get body odor. They would use those for the submarine crews. Interesting. How did they make that determination? Did you go in there?

Funny you should ask. That's the reason the Greek Navy folded. They had a guy whose job it was to sniff them who didn't have the genetic thing that makes Japanese men not have body odor. This guy's a stinker, so he can smell another stinker. So they'd have him go around, smell everybody, and be like, aha, you don't make the cut.

Get out of here, stinker. You cannot go on submarine. You smell too bad. It takes one to know one. It takes one to know one. I didn't know that. Well, it's like you can't smell your own shit, you know? I disagree. You can't smell your own shit.

But it's not as bad as I'm saying, like, the smell of your own shit is not nearly as bad as the smell of someone else's shit. I got a bathroom there right now. I will not go in. That's true. If I had to sit in a room with shit on the floor, I'd rather it be mine

than someone else's. I saw a police video the other day, and this guy's handcuffed inside the police station to a bench or a chair or a door or something like that. He's restrained for the room. He can't go far. But he's got a little chain on this handcuff, maybe 18 inches.

He's getting rowdy. He's yelling at them. they're going back and forth he doesn't want to like do what they want him to do he's definitely not giving him his name and number and he stands up sticks his right hand down the back of his pants you're like wait a minute what's he what's he doing and he produces a fistful of shit oh Oh, no! And he throws it like a fucking all-star pitcher. And it hits the wall next to the cop and goes, and splats

and sticks to the wall. And everybody runs. He's going back for more. That was the first volley. That was like a distance-finding shot. Warning shot. Now he's locked in. The the orders finding its target exactly that's disgusting i would have quit my job right fucking there like you see it sometimes with like convenience store workers or whatever some asshole come and do a prank where they just

spill a bunch of stuff and they're like bug it this is my last day of work i'm going home i'm not dealing with the mess you've made that's the that's the day i would quit the sheriff's department if somebody threw a fistful of shit at me and hit me with it like you gotta leave yeah i'm done i'm done you get you get a poo cocktail supreme like ice poseidon's not even fighting for our freedoms out there and he took a poo cocktail yeah steve-o so i think that's the name of the jackass bit poo cocktail supreme where they lock him in the uh they lock him in the porta potty and then launch him up in the air with all the dog shit in there that's often agreed to that that's that's i don't feel sorry for him

one bit you know what his next bit is what breast implants steve's getting he's getting some big titties no i don't know if I like that wait is that for real? he said it was I don't know if you take Steve-O at his word I can't imagine him lying because he's so crazy I saw him letting UFC fighters try to give him cauliflower ear by putting his ear

they put like a metal plate behind his ear and had them like smashing it like blacksmithing his ears and he's screaming in agony and stuff. He went too hard with it. He let them go too hard, and he almost lost part of his ear. It wasn't a smashed cauliflower ear.

It was like, oh, there's just a shred of ear and cartilage hanging. His pain tolerance is absurd. Your ear! Your ear! It's disfigured! It's just throwing up from the pain. For a guy who's done that much stuff, he has no throw-up tolerance.

I mean, I don't know. I wonder how big a breast implant he can get, right? Because he can't stretch that skin too much. I don't know if this is true. Okay, first of all, like you said, he says he's going to get a boob job. And then he said he was going to have a penis tattooed on his face. Hoping it will take

away. People won't notice his face is aging because of the penis tattooed on it. I don't know if I like that idea, Steve-O. Yeah. He says he hopes it'll detract from his aging face. I don't think it's gonna work

out i hope he gets the tits um i think that'd be interesting to see we've often talked about it we talked to fenster about i don't know why fenster just don't go ahead get the tits like go ahead and do it dude like what are you holding back for um but but for some uh like a masculine cis presenting man the tits are still kind of funny like i don't think it messes you up like now it i i think it's pretty awesome like if you're like a do bro i mean a bro dude if you're like like if you're at the bar every night or like you're there with your your boys and like every time you score a touchdown they like give you a honk or something or it's like quick squeeze mike's tits for luck we're about to kick a 60-yard field goal like if that would be hilarious like i'm sure there was that guy who did it on a because someone made a bet yeah he made like a hundred grand bet and they

just kept his tits and he just he loved it he decided i like having tits he's the reason i don't like it he's the because so if kyle knows about this guy he made a hundred thousand dollar bet that he would get a boob job and keep it for a year all right boom and then he kept it for years and years and years and to me he just came off like a clown and a hanger on to more successful people you are not part of our crew mr getting the boob job for 100 grand you are a toy i fuck with i pull the wings off of insects and that's what you are i just ruined you made you a fucking weirdo clown for 100 grand because it's entertaining for me you are so far beneath this guy that's a 40k shit friend i didn't like it dude if you like kidnapped someone and like drugged them and gave them breast implants

that would be like a big own it'd be like i got you now you're my bitch and you're like no i'm not gonna get drunk around you knock me out and you drag me away and I wake up with big juicy D's. Ah! No! I have to go to the doctor. I can't even leave the house. And then you're like, yeah. Now you just have to be my big-titted bitch. See? That's embarrassing.

I did not know about this guy. I wouldn't want that desperately. No one kidnapped me and give me breath no one do it please no it's really scary for me because it's kind of possible you know that i keep eight thousand dollars in my shoes so i just have to get me and then take me to the doctor and and if you when you get me don't open my bedside table and pull out a list of reputable surgeons that I trust to perform the procedure.

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Boom. All right. I'm feeling real good about all my bets for Trump winning the presidency I feel like I'm ready to push the action a little harder I think I can call as VP candidate with a great deal of certainty I feel almost sure okie dokie

it's a year out remember that's true you know the polls were relevant last week but he was ahead now that he's behind pish posh that's for the birds You know the polls were relevant last week, but he was ahead. Now that he's behind. Ah, shush. Pish posh. Pish posh.

That's for the birds. I said Trump was going to win when he was way behind in the polls. Polls mean nothing to me. I know Trump's going to win. So who's getting the VP? Tell us. Oh, Nikki Haley. 100%.

Nikki Haley. 100% Nikki Haley. Yeah, he's going to get himself a brown lady who's pretty, stand next to him up there. It's going to be a good look. He's going to have an anti-Kamala. It's got to be a lady. I think that's a good move. I got a brown lady that can talk.

What do you got? That doe-eyed goofball over there? Get out of here. She's only like an eighth black or something. What was I going to say? Nikki's all Indian. She got backed by the Koch brothers. Am I pronouncing it right?

One of them died. I didn't do that on purpose. The Koch brothers are a different group of brothers. I've met them and I don't like them. They also endorse her. They also endorse her, but for very different reasons. That's me and Taylor. We're the Koch brothers.

We're the Koch brothers. We like her too. All right, Koch brothers, get out here it's our flag is two crossed penises but yes now she has limitless funding question mark and uh it it's still an interesting race undeniably trump is killing it right now he's he's just running away with the republican nomination and uh goof everybody else up there just keeps stumbling over themselves I like them I like a few of them I like the little guy that reminds me of

Aziz Ansari I'd love to vote for Aziz If I had a vote DeSantis couldn't have gotten better fake shoes DeSantis really couldn't We found it on him for his shoes Many times he looks like a fake He's not going anywhere.

He'd make a good sheriff, maybe. No, he wouldn't even make a good sheriff. Everybody would mock him and they'd be like, look, there's no toes in his boots. What would he be good at? Comptroller? Governor of fucking Florida. He's nailing that.

Leave him down there. Let him do his job. But he can't run again. He's fortunate. You can only run twice in a row. I don't know if it's fortunate. You only run twice in a row. I don't know if it's twice in a lifetime or twice in a row, but it's one of those. I heard that as well. So he needs a new career.

I'm thinking in the Trump cabinet, obviously. I'm thinking energy department, something we don't care about. It's funny. So DeSantis doesn't go at Trump very much, but Trump goes at DeSantis hard. Well, DeSantis tried to go at Trump, much, but Trump goes at DeSantis hard. Well, DeSantis tried to go at Trump, but then he realized what everybody else realizes,

which is I'm not as good at this as Trump is. Okay. So if you go at Trump, Trump's just like, oh, cool. I'm going to make up names for you. You're 100% right. Trump's charm doesn't sink in my brain anyway. When he calls him Ron DeSanctimonious, I'm like, that is not a good insult. But he just sticks with it forever, and I guess it works. That's true. He made fun of his

heels recently. That was good. That's the worst one that he's ever come up with. He's like, you see him walk? You see him walk in his tippy toes? I wish I could be Chief Nickname Czar for Trump. Oh, you'd be better than Trump. Wait, wait, wait. Does Trump come up with nicknames himself? I just want to write zingers.

I just want to write zingers for Trump. Run to shithead. Run to sanctimonious. I don't know what's more foolish shit. Those fake boots are his policy. You could just constantly nail him. You could tear him apart if you just don't care. Crooked Hillary.

All the nicknames are... One second into a debate with Trump like if DeSantis is even up there he's gonna be like Ron that mic it's a little high up it's a little high up lower it and then like

he'd just be saying this before it even started he'd be like and everyone knows what I'm talking about don't we folks little guy people walk in they say what a little guy why don't you walk folks? Little guy. Little guy. People walk in, they say, what a little guy. Why don't you walk a mile in my shoes? You're walking a mile in theirs? Don't worry. They're your size.

We're both. Or no. What's your size? What's your shoe size? He would just toy and play with DeSantis. And DeSantis has the charisma of a wet paper bag. And so he'd get owned. He sucks.

He would. Trump is a stand-up comedian. You okay? Like, you can't heckle a standup comedian. He'll just own you. And that's what all these politicians don't understand is that like, well, why don't I like try a little thing?

And it's like, no, you're not clever or funny. He's been on like network television for a reason. Yeah. He's doing that show just because he was rich. They gave him that show. Cause like,

Oh man, this guy knows how quips and little lies. He knows how to be funny he's not doing the debates because the problem is like uh at a certain if he gets up against somebody who's like okay but can we talk about like you know politics and like serious stuff he's like nah i just want to have fun up here can i say why i think it's a good i think it's a good idea for him not through the base because he has everything to lose and nothing to gain. And when you've got him, the less of him you see, the better. Like, if he's up, the longer he's up there, the better the chance he makes some sort of foible or mistake.

He messes something up. But it makes them look like peers when they're all on the same stage. I was going to say, the psychology is kind of like, I'm the king of the castle. I've already won. This is a waste of my time. Exactly. You should come on the debate stage with us. And it's like, why?

I'm the nominee. Yeah. We haven't decided if you're the nominee yet. No, I am. You guys are just playing dress up. Like, he's totally fucking. Yeah. Yeah. They're playing for VP.

It's a huge power move to be like, there's no reason because I'm the nominee. Fuck you. Yeah. I love it. And I think it would be a very strong move for him to select a VP super early. Like, the earlier, the better. power move to be like there's no reason because i'm the nominee fuck you yeah i love it and i think it would be a very strong move for him to select a vp super early like the earlier the better i i like the idea right now it's biden or trump but you could make it very quickly biden and uh harris biden harris trump haley like i don't know for some reason that's a he should be

telling everybody hey watch the debates because that's how I'm going to pick my VP he should say are you guys going to watch the VP debates tonight that'd be sick everybody tune in and let me know which one's going to be my VP let me know maybe none of them maybe they all suck man I wish he'd come back to Twitter

what if he hosted the debates that would be funny that would be great There was a brief moment when I thought the Republicans were crazy enough to make him the Speaker of the House, and that would have been such a weird thing to happen. That would have been terrible for Trump. That's such a step down

in public perception. See, Trump has his charms, but they would not work in that job. He would just take L after L after L trying to herd cats. And there's not that level of attention on it. And he is, you know, he was if he was Speaker of the House to be a ton of attention and it would all be negative on this inability to get that very slim majority. No one goes president down to Speaker of the House like it would. would be filling in temporarily he'd be like he offered he was he was like yeah if my country

calls upon me and it's hour of need i will step he didn't really offer he wouldn't have done it like that's a bad move if you're running for president to take an office way below it like that especially an office where you're right where you're a guy known for making deals and it's like the most impossible place to make deals and 99% of them will fail. So it'd just be constant news articles like, oh, I guess Trump can't really make deals because he couldn't get these two guys.

No one could have got those two guys. Yes, I think Vito's right. The news would have constantly been savaging him. When does it actually kick off? It's like a month away, right? The first vote? Yeah. Is it less than Iowa? Where do they go first? New Hampshire?

Iowa? Iowa's usually the first one, right? The caucus? The caucus of Iowa? I wonder why Iowa gets to go first. Was that like a dice roll many years ago, and they just are like, we're in first, but you can't take it away from us january 15th so it's more like six weeks okay i think i still got some money in my predicted account you guys ever do that thing no i've never used that kyle you need

to get on that and predict it because you've had some you've had some good predictions sports wise and who knows that yeah i could i've picked some champs pre-season and i'm it's not like I'm just throwing a dart at a board. I'm picking a good team, but still. You called the avalanche a couple years ago? I did. I'm super bad. I went big. I was like, there's no way Andrew Yang is not the New York City mayor.

I put like 500 bucks on Yang. He's Asian. He loves math. This is what New yorkers want there was a black guy you should have bet on the black guy in hindsight there's way more black people than asians in new york did you guys hear george santos like rat everyone out no i heard he intended to is he a gay guy yeah he's gay he was married so he's gonna be a bi-ish or something i don't know he's whatever you tell him you want to be he pretends

to be jewish he pretends to be gay he pretends to be rich native america to be a world-class volleyball player for reasons i think he might be a jewish whatever yeah he's not jewish but he said he was jew-ish like similar to a jew i'm in the style of a jew i can't believe it's not jew so he was on this podcast or radio show or something and they're expelling him from congress for his financial frauds and such and he's like like i care what they think these guys they're all like drunk fucking uh lobbyists at night they can't show up the next day to vote because they're so hung over it's like i don't care what they think they act like i got the morality

problems they got the morality problem i should look at the quote but i'm pretty close he's got to name names though who was that young until they knew who was like that young right wing paralyzed politics guy from a couple years ago his name is madison crawford yeah didn't he come out and he was like there's all these people are doing coke and acting like freaks at sexual parties and it's disgusting. Cocaine fueled orgies. And then immediately didn't stuff come out like photos of Madison Cawthon at a cocaine fueled orgy arise. And everyone was like, ha ha, he was there too. And it's like, but he was telling the truth. They are

having cocaine fueled orgies. And then they released his fucking malfeasances when he started talking about their Eyes Wide Shut parties. Yeah. That's what it was. That's why they killed Cooper. Let me have the floor for a second.

Some of his quotes. Within the ranks of the U.S. Congress, there's felons galore. There's people with all sorts of sheisty backgrounds. I have colleagues who are more worried about getting drunk every night with the next lobbyist they're going to screw and pretend like none of us know what's going on to sell off the American people. He added that some do not show up to vote because they're too hungover. And whatever the reason is, or not show up to vote at all and just give out their card like fucking candy for someone else to vote for them.

I don't know. Does he mean a proxy vote or like voters voting i'm not sure this shit happens every single week where are the ethics investigations so yeah he basically tattled on the other people for fucking lobbyists and voting the way they want them to i mean i believe them like they're definitely fucking lobbyists and and corrupt as. Like, that's not even news. No. Yeah. And the insider trading, I think, is a big thing, too.

Yeah, all these... It's so fucking crazy that everyone's just like, this is fine. A bunch... Like, every one of these people is worth... Trump will root out corruption and drain the swamp. No, Trump will fit right in. You're saying there's cocaine these parties are fucking gay i've been to better parties than this on like wednesdays guys like

that's the dick this is a wednesday afternoon party like a wednesday party and it's friday you guys are late he's like he brings out like a coke testing kit that would be yeah like that would be nice if trump got in again and then he started wearing a gopro to the the coke orgies what was really happening behind the scenes he shows us like what politicians are just terrible at fucking and which ones are good at it and then that changes the votes you see lindsey graham getting you know deep dicked by a fucking bad dragon strapped to the head lobbyist of the energy corporation. I'll show you why they call me Lindsey Graham. It's because I'm a straight, I'm just a straight, 65-year-old unmarried Southern man is what I am.

It's not as heterosexual as they come. All right. You're a bachelor down here. You leave Lindsey Graham alone. He's just a straight man. Lots of conservative Republican straight men get to age 68 with no families and very dubious activities. That guy is gay.

Is there a predicted line on that? Can I guess? Because I have my house that Lindsey Graham is gay and that he's going to do. I just go to the bathhouse because those sauna, it's so calming in there. It's all your friends are there and you run around and put on our little towels. It's my blood pumping. All right, Lindsey. My name is Lindsey for a.

Yeah, Lindsey. When your parents named you Lindsey, that was for a reason. Just be gay, Lindsey. It's parents named you Lindsey, that was for a reason. Just be gay, Lindsey. It's okay. Just be gay. Just come out and be loud and proud gay. This is Lindsey Graham hiding it as best he can. He'd be leading the parade if he was a Democrat.

He'd be at the very front with tassels on his nipples skipping. He's just... Poor Lindsey Graham. You don't have to feel sorry for me, sweetheart. That's what he would say if you said that to him. You don't like that. Do you remember?

You want my constituents? You guys are too young for this one. 2007, the Larry Craig scandal. What'd he do? He was a Republican senator from Idahoaho and i guess he would go to these bathrooms and get fucked or sucked off or whatever so his move was like while he was sitting on the toilet is he'd slide his foot into your uh what is stall stall i couldn't get stand out of my

head he would slide his foot into your stall and like tap it or just touch your foot and footsie yeah yeah and the so they like got him on it they're like dude you're having gay sex in these things you hit on like me you hit on me i don't want to fuck you and he's like no no i'm not hitting on you i just i go poo with a wide stance that's how i do it i remember the wide stance yeah i remember that yeah i remember i've been like no dude i just gotta go wide you know that's like nobody goes wide and then taps your foot like 20 times yeah that's like put your cock through the wall yeah was there any like was it like the sopranos where at first they thought they were like they thought it was okay

and then they found out that he was the one sucking the dicks. On the other side, they're like, all right, but why are all the knees of your pants so warm? Why'd you cut that hole in there? That's just for ventilation, man. It gets stinky in that stall. And then my penis was smelling so bad that I thought I would push it through there and try to get the stink off it in the other room. It's a defensive hole, like a bunker, in case there's a shooter by the way to put my gun exactly i was trying to save lives that he says i'm just a wide guy uh zach please show this guy's picture that he didn't fit in a single stall i'm just imagining him like really wide just tap tap

tap tap like like like i i really hope that he wasn't innocent. That's a wide guy right there. Look, I could get away with that excuse. This man is not wide enough. He hasn't had his session today and he's just thinking about it. I can't wait

to go to the public bathroom and tap feet with men until one of them turns out to be homosexual. And did they like set up a sting and like capture him? Or how did they get this? Yeah. How did they find out about this? First of all, we got him.

I think the gay community, if you take that evidence five times. Yeah. It's like with like the Harvey Weinstein shit where they like have the girls describe his fucked up dick. And they're like, fuck, he got me me his dick tastes like lemons or some shit yeah turn that way he uses a natural lemon shampoo leave some rind on there that's how they the best weinstein story was that he brought some model to his hotel and he's like we should fuck right now we're gonna fuck she's like no and he was like so mad or he's like fine and I just went over to a plant in the room and he jerked off over the plant and like left angrily. And I'm like, is that a power

move? Just jerk off on a plant one hand on the wall next to the ficus, like turning around angrily as he's looking at her. He's like, I'm going to beat off on this plant right now. And there's nothing he's in terrible shape. He's fat as shit. So like his dick's not very hard. He's mashing it. It's a spike. He's fat as shit. So his dick's not very hard. He's mashing it.

It's a spike thumb. Was Weinstein getting a bribe? You know what it was? He took his Viagra and he was hard. He's like, you've wasted. That's what it was. He didn't want to waste. That's 100% what it was. I bet you're right.

Club owner confirms the potted plant story. I just had to slide into Weinstein's mind real quick, and I figured that one out. Mind of a killer. I was scratching my brain for... Is there a sexy plant? A plant that would make sense to jerk off to? Poinsettia.

The chef from the hotel argues, though, and claims that it was actually... Venus flytrap that kind of has a mouth. Fuck that. Yeah, you come in a Venus fly flytrap and you're like, yeah, take it, you bitch. Swallow it. I'm going to trigger all three of your hairs

within 10 seconds of each other. I felt bad for the plan. Oh no, it's K-Wall flies! No! you're just embarrassed googly eyes and lipstick on your on your venus fly i've been playing that new mario though and those piranha plants do have dick sucking lips come on look at them like we gotta talk i know we mentioned on pkn but um alex j Jones' video game is fucking hilarious. It is funny. If you haven't seen it, you fight

things like homeless people in San Francisco, Bill Clinton on Epstein Island, George Soros, a bunch of doctors trying to vaccinate you in the first level. It's like a side-scrolling shooter. I

plan to buy it. It 17.76 and it that it seems like it's worth it there's lots of videos on youtube i just had to mention yeah i was looking i watched that video again it's like contra mixed with like metal yes contra yeah yeah contra fell off man i loved Contra I never played that years ago I never realized that the what did I get oh there's a Contra collection that came out on the Switch

and the Japanese version of Contra is like way better than the American version Crooked Witch of the West Wing okay like this looks genuinely like a fun game yeah I want to know who made this like clearly whoever made this has talent. Yeah, Woody made the point on PKN. It's a real game.

That's just machine gun ammo. Oh, the rapist. The rapist is that. It's a status. It's held by... Who is that? Is that Hillary? That's the crooked witch of the West Wing.

Yeah. And Alex Jones is dropping catchphrases the whole time. He saved all the kids in the cages. Yeah. He saved a bunch of MAGA guys earlier. They were in cages. They had MAGA hats on.

It needs a mission where you free all the J6 prisoners. That is one of them. Oh, is mission where you free all the J6 prisoners. That is one of them. Is that what's going on? Go in there and free those guys. Get them back out on the street taking lecterns or whatever they were doing. Fuck those lecterns.

That one woman got shot. I was thinking about this today. How serious do I actually think the January... Was it 6th? Yeah. How much I like... I really just don't think it was a big deal. was thinking about this today like how serious do i actually think the january was it six yeah six how much i like i really just don't think it was a big deal that one woman did get shot ashley babbitt doesn't seem like i know that one woman got shot but it seems like you had like maybe 30 troublemakers you know mixed into a big crowd and then they all got invited into the

building i could i would have went in the building i don't think they all got invited and we did see them smash for sure it's really confusing like it's still confusing because it's like a lot of people were just there because they're like yeah like trump and then a bunch of guys were like hey let's go to that capitol building the government has been claiming they're like well the guys who said let's go to the capitol building or you know a lot of more like proud boys guys who ahead of time were like let's let's usher everybody towards the capitol building because maybe something will happen but there's like no like real documents of like what they wanted to happen like anything of like yeah they wanted to kill all these like politicians or. It's like, well, there's no real evidence of that.

It kind of sounds like they wanted to be assholes. They were being pissy because they lost. They were trying to stop the vote from being ratified, right? Pence was supposed to do his thing where he made Biden officially the president. Well, cause a disruption. Well, not just cause a disruption.

They were trying to prevent that from happening. Were they? With what mechanism though by just like going into the by taking over the building and getting everyone out of there and you know work for a few yeah but they got into the building but then once they got in there they're just like all right now let's they started looking for papers and proof of conspiracies and shit like that where they normally ratify it like do they normally ratify it in the capitol building like the vote or whatever i don't know this is like a procedure that no one ever paid attention to until

that year i'm willing to accept what you said but i strongly feel that that's just the media narrative that they said hey they were doing this to stop the president because then you can go after them for sedition and you can go after trump for like trying to like treasonous account and just like where are you coming up

with that i get that like you you can imagine that well trump did look at the crowd look at those guys trump told him to march down to the capital and prevent it from happening that's the he also told them to be peaceful well yeah but it's like if I killed my mom and then showed you all this footage of me not killing my mom you wouldn't be like well you know there were a lot of times you didn't kill her and that's what they're doing they're showing all this

footage of the people who didn't shit on the walls and steal the lectern and you know go in Nancy Pelosi's office and whatever it doesn't mean it didn whatever um well that doesn't mean it didn't happen and it doesn't mean just like the moments that they were innocent are they're like oh look no one did anything here's footage of them obeying velvet ropes therefore no one busted no i don't think anyone would say no one busted no one died that day. No one smashed. Well, only one person died that day. There were no.

Okay. And it was, I mean, it's okay. It was an unarmed veteran protester. They told her don't come in here. Like, don't,

this is the room. This is our final stand. You know, Ashley Babbitt. That was, and she's like, I'm a girl. You won't do it. Well,

yeah, I guess. Look, I think but the idea like there is one like I get what Kyle saying like the more video footage I see of it the more it's like yeah there are a lot of videos of just like fucking sunglass wearing in their Twitter avatar goobers and flags like just kind of walking in because

the cops are letting them in I know and it's muddied the narrative like it they did how is it any different from any other like protest the cops are letting them in i know and it's muddied the narrative like it yeah that's why how is it any different from any other like protest like yeah protests get violent and stupid and they break shit and yeah you probably can have say like okay we have to give you more intense charges because it was inside a government building with a bunch of like you know politicians were in the building at the time or whatever else. Their safety was threatened.

Nobody cared when all those McDonald's, Burger Kings were getting burned down a couple summers. That's what I'm saying. Whenever a dollar store on a corner was lit up. You'd have to give me some real evidence. Not to me. Not at all. You know where I'm welcome at?

As a fat man, the Wendy's is far more sacred than the halls of Congress. I'm not even allowed in that Capitol building. They'll shoot me if I go to the wrong part. I go into Wendy's, though. Mr. Dave Thomas' legacy lives on, okay? They don't cut corners there.

That's why the burgers are so good. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely am. What does that mean? That they always cut corners? It's easier to feel bad for like a business owner's business and livelihood being destroyed. Then it is like seeing a government building,

get the windows broken and shit. I hear you. And I definitely understand where you're coming from. It's not how I felt though. Like when the, when the fucking Capitol went down to like protesters, I was like, what the fuck?

I thought this area was better protected than that. I thought we could like rally serious forces if anyone attacked washington yeah i don't know what's the capital police are like happening but it didn't realize that like fucked hearts with flag spears could take literally spears were like the weapons they had and uh they took over the capitol building yeah they brought flags with pointy tips and shit like that. It's not like, you could argue it wasn't even a weapon, but it... They had flagpoles. They had flagpoles, okay. Flagpoles with

pointy tips. Lots of them have them. They were like the Zulu, god damn it! They were like the Zulu! No, no, but I'm trying to say, like, the tip was... It just seems like such a stretch. There was a metal tip on it, almost like a bow. Well, not like a bow. They formed a... Did anybody get speared? What I'm saying is they weren't

good weapons. I'm not saying they were... The fact that the Capitol could be taken over with primitive weapons, spears, shields they took off of cops and shit like that, it made me feel like suddenly my government is not as big a deal as I thought it was. If a mob of that size wanted to take over

that building, they would have taken over that building. You could have bursted through and like... No. They did burst through. Yeah, some of them did. It seems like most of them just got let in. Bulletproof windows.

Wait, what? The bad people... Everybody else is barricaded in the back behind real doors and guns, right? That's how the Ashley Babbitt lady... I'm surprised y'all know her name. They took over that everybody else is barricaded in the back behind real doors and guns right that's how the ashley babbitt lady i'm surprised y'all know her name because i just they took over that room by the way the one that she wanted to go through they they eventually took like they did win the protest i guess they must have well then they had to retreat because you can't push them in with a gun

yeah they did yeah i guess one guy with a gun felt like he couldn't take on six thousand people pushing their way in probably didn't want to just open fire on a crowd. Probably only had 16 rounds left. He took out that one dumb bitch. You come down there. I've made my point. Here's how I felt about it. I felt like that building is full of people that don't like us, who are our enemies.

All those representatives who we just talked about how corrupt and awful they are and self-serving they are. There's nobody in there that's on my side. They represent corporations, foreign interests, their own pockets. That's what they represent. Not me in the slightest. I'm not even allowed to vote for some reason. Voting is not a right if you can take it away. So when I see that and I see a bunch of guys with flags running in saying, let's get Nancy Pelosi. I'm like, hope they don't get her. You're like, now you're being coy. Ooty.

I hope the guards don't rise up and join the protesters and form a new government around Emperor Trump that's better. I know that. I don't want that. I don't want that. I don't know that well when you talk about like people lighting their own pockets trump is his family are not innocent of that at all yeah but he's definitely as a private citizen like the rest of us like like they're the fucking

he did it as the president no he had people stay in his hotels they would like they would rent rooms they didn't even need to lie in Trump's pockets. Yes. They all do fucked up shit. They are all out for themselves. You would disgust it a minute ago. And now that it's Trump, you're like, everybody does it. It's funny. It's cool what Trump does.

It's a whole different thing. I'm just trying to stay. It's one thing over here. I'm not trying to circle to Trump and make it look bad, except Trump. I'm not trying to circle because all those people are bad except Trump. No, no. I'm just trying not to get distracted away from the differences that Trump likes Kyle. The people who are going to all the other politicians.

Hey, Kyle. But Trump loves him. Yeah, it's like this. You watch an Internet fight, right? You immediately figure out who the good guy is, right? Not always. All right. Let's see if there's a good guy and a bad guy let me figure out who's wearing the white hat who's wearing the

black hat this guy pick on that one did this guy assault someone first was he a bully is this guy too big to be even approaching this like you weigh and measure and you figure out who's the good guy and the bad guy and when i saw that january 6th stuff going on it was not clear cut it wasn't clear cut you know it like, people in there are fucking assholes. People in there are awful. And that building, all that shit in it, has nothing to do with me. I don't care about your flags

in your building, your old pieces of paper. I wish they'd burned it all down. I don't care. I don't care about that stuff. That's not my stuff. That's not our stuff. That's their stuff. They would wash the floors if we walked in there. That's CVS has insurance, man. You can just burn it in the ground.

It's not mine. Meanwhile, CVS, the doors open for me when I approach. I'm a king of CVS. You have $50? Oh my God. Yes, sir. No, sir. You feel personal ownership on the CVS. You feel personal ownership on the CBS.

You don't want to see it be harmed. I'm just kidding. Yeah, the more it seems like the more videos I see, the more it's like this doesn't look like what was put to us a few years ago. They're releasing these videos selectively bit by bit.

Oh, and they also keep releasing it to like they released it to fox news and let tucker carlson tell you about the videos and then you're like it's because they have something to hide really but the government house and gave the videos to tucker carlson who has something to hide i mean release all the videos give it a c-span release all of them but it seems like a lot of networks didn't want to release these ones. Here's the problem. The government is not effectively communicating to me what happened and who did it

and why. So like that guy, Enrique Tarrio, the guy who was leading the Proud Boys, he just got 30 years. Why? Do you know? No, I have no idea have no idea do you know I just saw it but I don't know it well enough

I assumed it was because don't you think of the guy who got the biggest sentence out of any January 6th person who by the way was not even there shouldn't every American know wait he wasn't there he was not there

at all he was like dicking around in like florida or whatever okay and he's got the biggest possible sentence and no american can tell you what he did i mean like the people who are more and the orders that he gave his organization you would imagine but shouldn't shouldn't a thing that was the most talked about, like desecration of our government in the history of whatever, as we've been told from the media? Well, they burned the White House down in 1812.

I'm saying in recent memory. You wouldn't know that happened based on how they've talked about this. How after we've been talking about it for three years, the biggest sentence comes down, and I still do not completely understand what they got him on. His guys were there, and they had some very vague messages of like, yeah, take them down, or yeah, move our guys towards the building or whatever else.

And I'm like, is telling a guy in a text message, move our guys towards the Capitol building, that gets you 30 years of seditious, like conspiracy? If they don't like you, it does. Apparently. It's like I would. Yeah. Look, he had good legal defense. So I would imagine that he's guilty of whatever they accused him of to the letter of the law.

It does seem to me that he was in charge of that large organization who were very good at covering their trail most of the time and being like, what do you mean racism? Look at me, I'm a brown man. I don't hate the ninjas. I love them. I wish there was a ninja here right now in front of these cameras. You could watch how much I love them.

There's so much dog whistling with them. And then, yeah yeah the people that were there on january 6th i keep forgetting when it even was um that were organized seemed to be his guys and maybe the cia all they both wear khakis hats have crew cuts on keeps getting debunked though like i recently saw some guy with a vape in his hand they're like look it's a badge the ray epps thing ray epps is not cia or fbi i don't know what any of that stuff is every time they talk about these guys they're like now were there any federal agents in the

crowd somewhere well i hope so i hope that they saw it going down everyone knew it was coming fucking i had four years ago i used to argue on Facebook with all the idiots and they're like, dude, January 6th, you wait and see. I was wrong. I thought it'd be nothing. You know, I thought it was just like you fucking fat pieces of shit won't do anything, but they did. I had a hundred dollar bet with a guy that

the election would be overturned and that Biden would step down and be. I was like, you think they're going to. He's'm just like yeah i'd bet a hundred dollars you're on the good side i'll take that yeah i was like i want a hundred dollars from a crazy guy who thought they were gonna hang by i bet a hundred dollars from a crazy guy and then i won but that was pre-election post-election i bet hundreds more i don't remember how many hundreds more it was close to a grand, I thought.

It was like $900 or something. I'm not sure. I have it in my head close to $600. But whatever it was. Being like, dude, why didn't you let us in on this gambling act? It was a non-trivial amount of money. I bet who would win the election months after it was over. Yeah, exactly.

Dude, and then when it was time to pay me, I was like, all all right here's my paypal address he's like no paypal's too democrat i won't do that and i was like all right here's like my venmo he's like no no i don't support big tech but there was another one what is it truly dude did we bet with the same guy really did because i had the exact same thing where i'm like okay here's my paypal he's like no they'll fucking track me if i do that or some shit he ended up having to send me some like weird crypto and he sent it some stupid like nazi fucking code number or whatever he's like oh i just sent you 1488 super coins or whatever and i'm like i don't give a shit whatever you didn't get your your your mag of dollars yeah exactly i was like whatever makes you feel good

your truth social coins oh okay now apparently this proud boy had planned to have a large crowd storm government buildings to prevent the election from happening and i guess that's what they got him well what they're saying is that basically he had a bunch of guys and that they were like let's go cause some trouble and one of them broke a window and that the government's saying that the guy who broke the window was like the key to everybody else deciding uh pozzola smashed open a window allowing the first rioters to enter the capital blah blah blah okay but like and then they're saying the men recruited and participated in every consequential breach at the Capitol that day but I read that I'm like well yeah

but don't like Antifa guys go like okay so we're gonna like firebomb this building and everybody run in and smash everything and grab everything like how does that get you 22 years I don't know let's go there and let's get apparently the proud boys viewed themselves as Trump's army and were willing to

commit violence on his behalf and commit to all out war to keep Trump and stop Biden from taking office. The defendant's lawyers sought to depict the proud boys as a glorified drinking club. I guess it didn't work. Yeah. Well, they started off that way and then it quickly kind of got

out. Kevin McGinnis really fucked up with the proud boys. He's like, oh, cool. I have my own little Proud Boys. He's like, oh, cool. I'll have my own little fun club. And his fun club's like, hey, can we go commit a bunch of crimes? He's like, no. No, we're supposed to be gay together. This is supposed to be stupid.

Yeah. I have no issue with that guy getting in trouble because I always knew that he was too far right. I'm more of a conservative. I think he means Enrique. Yeah, I don't know anything about the Enrique

guy, really. You've seen them all dressed up in their uniforms in the big crowds and stuff, though. They have a look about them of authoritarianism and white power. Are they like Nazi? Well, they border on it very strongly.

They wore shirts that said six million is not enough. Who wore that? Proud Boys. Well, some Proud Boys. It wasn't their uniform. Did they assign everybody to wear one? Did they have a vote and everybody picked that one?

You know what I mean? Look, I agree. They're awful. Did they put it in an online contest and it was kind of like the Hitler did nothing wrong Mountain Dew flavor? Did that happen? Man, I wish Raging Cherry had won. Man, I wish Wild Cherry had won. We have to make all these...

Yeah, it's like Air Bud style rules where they're like, I'm sorry, head of PepsiCo, but you have to make that do so i guess here's the problem is that like it seems pretty obvious that the proud boys were like i think the way they've characterized there's probably enough evidence to say they wanted to break into the capital and get a bunch of people in there but there's no evidence of like and then once they were in there they were going to do this this this or this it's more just like they wanted to cause once they were in there, they were going to do this, this, this, or this. It's more just like they wanted to cause trouble and get in the building.

It's like, okay, but, you know, what if they just wanted to get in there to. Yeah. Okay. I'm saying you can get them on. Like, listen, you guys were protesting. You took it too far. You broke some shit. Fine.

They were. Congress was meeting to ratify The election and make Trump I'm sorry Biden president I mean protesters have interrupted Protesters have interrupted The fact that they took over the capitol building And prevented that Or at least delayed that procedure was random

Like that they were just I think they went in there But couldn't you make the argument it's a protest We think that what's going on We don't think that this We think the election was stolen as stupid as i think that is you can believe that fine and uh we're protesting what we think is a fraudulent election and our method of protesting is to break into the building and frankly not hurt anybody if they'd got like they did end up fighting with some cops and those guys guys should be taking the test. I've got it. I've got it. Woody,

flip the script, and Trump wins. But Biden is saying that the election has been stolen. And there's actual evidence this time. And there's evidence. If there's evidence, the situation's different, and then it becomes more

complicated. Hang on. It doesn't matter. It's hypothetical. The fact that you're convinced is all that matters because they're convinced. You are convinced that Donald Trump has stolen the presidency and might even try to make this an empire thing. He's crazy. And Biden clearly won. They're making stories up. And the data's there.

We have the pictures. But he controls Twitter and Facebook, and you see clear, real evidence that Twitter and Facebook's hiding the evidence, just like they hid that other evidence about your guy earlier. You're there, and Biden's saying, get in there. Be mad as hell. It's been stolen. Your future's being stolen.

Your children's future's being stolen. The American dream, the legacy legacy sounds cool 200 years oh my god biden has so much energy today yeah it's usually a little more mumbly can you you'd be like you set up the scenario i wouldn't be running up the hill i might approve of hill running though like i'm trying to be honest in this like me i got too much a little hill running but yeah all right so trump stole the presidency do i lose my house no all right fucking i'm still here

you're not gonna fire the musket well you'll wait a few my fish and nothing's gonna be different but um would i feel the same way about way about like people trying to stop a legitimate what I think is a legitimately sold election? Yeah, I'd probably feel differently. I'd probably feel like it was my argument would be that Trump supporters are a particular group of Trump supporters are so. Brainwash that they if he tells them, then they believe it. He knows better than me i have not seen the data i did my own research when the president of the united states tells you oh hey by the way that election was fraudulent like when you grow up i think most a lot of people

take the word of the president united states pretty seriously it's like as the president united states he would know. He's not just a crazy madman who makes things up for personal gain. He would never do that. He's kind of very Trumpy. I think at the end of the day, though, I look at what these guys did and I can go, look, I can understand getting them

on. Yeah, you caused a disturbance. You broke some stuff. You broke into a place you weren't supposed to be. It was a sensitive government. Whatever. 22 years is an excessive sentence. I wonder what he'll serve. Over the top. That's a federal sentence. He's going to be in there.

I think he's going to serve the whole thing. There's a formula to it. There's a specific formula to when he can potentially get seen next. They have a sentence and guidelines. Let's pretend Trump doesn't get in but that a republican eventually does right in the next 22 years there'll be a republican for sure i think biden i think if biden gets elected again he should pardon all those guys as a show of good faith and just go listen you were all brainwashed by a psychopath weirdo named trump told you the election was

stolen and uh i can't hold you accountable for that you were lied to by your president and we're gonna let you go that's interesting am i not a merciful president i'm the most yeah you just have to kiss the ring and then he can sit by sitting on a golden throne with an owl head on it yes they need to serve 85 of it 85 of 22 that's a thing no one knows but it seems like a lot 17 yeah i was gonna guess 17 is that actually right it's uh well eight out of ten that's a 20 then there's 16 so it's like 17 and some change 17 5 yeah okay long fucking time long fucking time um i think trump will pardon some of the january six people potentially 18.7 okay um which will be interesting i hope he does it immediately and he doesn't do that bitch thing that we always talk

about where you do it sliding out the door i would like it if he was just all the time anytime there was a big he did the first news like when something jumps off in the news media like like like i'm at you know a cop does something that's borderline if he was just like you know what pardon him shut shut him the fuck up i'd love that he went more out like king jock pardon a sheriff from arizona maybe yeah yeah say it slower joe arpaio i think yeah yeah that guy was nuts yeah that guy he was like some argued he was excessively cruel to his prisoners uh some loved him being very rough on his prisoners. Did you see he was in? Was it Bruno or like he was in one of those Ali G movies? Oh, yeah. It was probably Borat 2.

No, no. I think it was. It might have been. Yeah, it might have been Borat 2. But he brought him on to like unbox Shopkins. So I think he was doing the Bruno character. Yeah. And he was like, oh, so tell us about

the, oh yeah, why every American should have a gun. Oh, look at this tiny little ice cream man. And it was like they were making like, it was like those unboxing toy videos for kids you see on YouTube all the time. But with Sheriff Joe Arpapoe talking about why we need to lock up all these fucking

people. Did you see Borat who sucked it didn't have the magic of the first one but what he did have he's got like a girl who's playing his daughter who he's trying to like write off or something and there's a scene where she gets um mayor giuliani in a room yeah and she's making out like she's gonna have sex with him in exchange for some nonsense and he's on the bed taking his pants off because he thinks that yeah there are cameras and it's and they have to be like whoa not so fast and not so fast like jesus dude keep you america's mayor keep your cock in your pants

this is like this is a bit like it was wild he tried to that off, but he's definitely on his back taking his pants off. He's on his back trying to get them off as fast as he can. Rudy, it's your lucky day. He says he was tucking his shirt in. Dude, that's how I tuck my shirt in. Dick out. I went on the bed and lied all the way back.

You guys have no creativity. I pulled my dick through it, and then I tucked my shirt in. First, you grab your pants, which are right around the sternum it's crazy how easy it is to get in a room with rudy giuliani though if you think about it like clearly all of this get him on the show it's crazy how i remember when rudy giuliani was america's mayor and we're like oh what, what a strong, proud man. And now I'm like, how did this psychopath weirdo incompetent moron run anything? Jesus. Don't forget.

Rudy Giuliani is the reason the Italian mafia went down. Like he killed the Italian mob almost single-handed. He was good for crime. That's why he became the mayor. Right. He did that as a DA, I think. Yeah.

And then he continued his policies and his, uh, they're part of his mayoral campaign. And then he continued them as a da i think yeah and then he continued his policies in his uh they're part of his mayoral campaign and he continued them as a mayor and then obviously yes and then obviously like 9-11 he was the only fucking swinging dick in the room it seemed like it was like thank god somebody's here who knows what's going on he's got dust on him got a whole fire hat on he's in a dirty room with dirty men and they're pointing and looking at maps and shit you're like good somebody's on this shit somebody's squeaking turning the knobs and flipping the switches because i'm out of i'm out of commission and george bush is gone yeah bush was kind of silent and at the time i didn't really like how silent bush was i was like i need a leader right now

and he's just absent but uh older me is like you know I don't really hate that he gathered facts instead of just being like, it was the, I don't know, Jews who did it and then have to walk that back and stay with Iraqis or whatever. Baseball coach called it when we heard it on the radio. I swear he called it better. Is that Osama bin Laden?

Feller? No way. I think Howard Stern famously did the same thing. I think like as the attacks were going on howard stern went i bet it's osama bin laden that was like what he was public enemy number one it's not like well like because i remember um all right it's it's one of those things like name a terrorist um well there's osama and then uh yeah they can't name the second this is so i don't know if it was osama but the al-qaeda attacked

the world trade center before they successfully attacked it right they did that car bomb in the basement of it thing yeah yeah and uh i don't remember how that we had these muslim attacks on america now and then and then oklahoma city the guy's name is escaping me thank you thank you dude i remember i was at work and my boss was like, enough! Just take every Muslim and ship them out of the country. And then it turned out Oklahoma City had nothing to do with those guys.

That was all us. We're not allowed to talk about what it really was about. Timothy McVeigh. What was his stated purpose? I don't know. I don't remember. Do you, Kyle? I don't know. I don't remember. Do you, Kyle? Do you actually know? I don't hate that W took a minute to figure out who it was.

That's one you're not allowed to talk about too passionately, Taylor. Well, can you tell me in a not passionate... Just give me the cliff notes. Timothy McVeigh was bummed out about a bunch of children. Bummed out? Was that like the Ruby Ridge or the... Ruby Ridge and Waco. He did not like Waco. he also didn't like ruby ridge that was part of his

gripes i'm pretty sure and and and in those incidents you had innocent women and children shot and burned alive you had people's dogs shot in the yard you have people surrounded for their religious beliefs with really no evidence and murdered by a federal agency live on TV. That's what happened. They invited the news. And look, I'm an American, so I have no issue with any of that. We did what we had to do. Janet Reno, fucking salute wherever you are.

Those children needed to burn. You did what you had. Those were bad kids. All right? Here's what Fox said. They were friends with those kids. Fox calls Palestinian children so-called children i can't wait they call them so-called children and then like show a picture of a seven-year-old with like an ipad well they photoshopped on there to make them look like a pirate or bad okay i just put a point yeah put a picture of an old uh the clip art at a so he bombed that federal building not knowing

that there was a daycare within it. The story immediately became all about the daycare as it should have been because there was a dozen little kids that got killed. Again, I was a child when this happened and that's where my memories of it all come from. We watched it live on TV, the whole thing.

I just remember that gaping hole in that building and Still to this day, imagining how big that explosion had to have been and still being surprised that it did that much damage. I believe it was a fertilizer bomb in a van.

It was a van, like a U-Haul rental truck. A van doesn't tell the story. A 35-footer? I thought it was like a u-haul like i don't even think it doesn't tell the story like a 35 footer van oh i thought it was like a i thought it was like a like a sliding door maybe cargo van that you would have some painters in the back of so here i have it in front of me the bomb was 5 000 pounds and it was a rented rider truck there you go that wouldn't be a van that was a dump truck he drove a dump truck look at the size of the hole the size of the hole in the building is pretty nuts five thousand pounds is an enormous amount of like mass but it

wasn't right it was a rental truck it was a rental truck and he yeah like you'd use for moving okay but like i need like the 16 footer or the 35 footer, like all I know is 5,000 pounds is so much ammonium nitrate. Yeah. I've shot like a couple hundred pounds before and it feels like the whole world is trembling. And it does. The ground ripples. You break windows within 100 meters. Well, he got lethal injected. so we don't need to fear can you show this wonder where the other guy what happened

to his accomplice that that was mentioned on all the newscasts that where's that accomplice at that just they just stopped mentioning michael he's currently president of the united states so that's what the truck looked like that's okay i think I think that's what I was calling a 16 footer in my head. Actually, maybe that's the big boy. That's such a big truck. I don't know. I just didn't want people to think van. When I hear van, I think pedo van, like the white one.

Yeah. That ain't big enough. Not with ammonium nitrate. Like maybe if you had a cargo van, like a pedo van full of C4. But anyway, the picture, if you've seen those pictures, you know, it's a gaping hole in an eight or nine story building. It's crazy how

big the hole is. And it's seemingly right in the middle. That was a nightmare situation. Make the exact picture. It is something else. I feel like it might be worse than you remember it. Maybe not. I bet getting lethal injected is worse than we think it is. If I had the option, I'd want to be firing squad. There's a new one.

So firing squad is available in a lot of states. So hanging in a few. I've never seen this. I always saw this from above. It is just crazy. You see it. I could do better. Yeah, I got faith in you.

That's almost as much damage that happened to Building 7 before it collapsed. That one. Good, that one. Someone explain to me how that makes sense. This building stands and that one fell down. I think you're having a little too much to think. Is how nearby buildings going down took down Building 7. That this building stands and that one fell down. The one that I can't get past

is how nearby buildings going down took down Building 7 and that like the whole story of the let's roll and all the heroes went forward and immediately crashed the plane so that they didn't hit anything important. That sounds fishy

to me. That just doesn't, it's weird. Let me make a theory right now. I bet... I guess that Building 7 was the headquarters for some sort of maybe CIA or some sort of NSA intelligence agency, and that there was

very sensitive material, personnel, or something in that building. And this had now... But this whole area, they immediately saw, was going to become... They couldn't keep it secure because they had to leave the area. And this had now, but this whole area they immediately saw was going to become, they couldn't keep it secure because they had to leave the area.

And it's like, we don't leave this unattended. You don't understand. This is national security. Those are the plans to the Heisenberg device. And that is the water-powered car right there. That's Kennedy. That's him. He works here.

You want to talk to him? Hey, John, how you doing? Please let me out of here. And so they can't even unsecure. They have to use Operation Failsafe, which they've always known. If we have to ever evacuate the building because of X, Y, and Z, we take the building out. It can't be unattended. And so they did that.

They hit the demo charges that have always been in place. Sort of a self-destruct device on the Enterprise situation to cover their own asses. I think that's my guess. You want to hear one of the craziest things? Seven endured fires for seven hours? Okay. I didn't see any flames. Just saying.

You know they found one of the hijackers passport on the ground out on the sidewalk yeah man look at him I mean I know that and then the cop it's weird another coincidence the cop was like I know this guy this guy's a real bad egg

where they found all the rest of the evidence I seen this guy on a real bad egg. I went to his apartment where they found all the rest of the evidence. I've seen this guy on the news. He's bad. Well, thankfully, Rudy guided us through. Yeah. Who did it? This guy. Wait, what's that up in the air?

Floating gingerly down. And a typed confession. Can you believe it? We need to immediately start evacuating getting all this World Trade Center stuff into the landfill right no investigation

no nothing priority number one is to remove all this stuff melt it down recycle it etc yeah whenever I look at a conspiracy one of the first litmus tests that I use is, what's the game? What's the game?

Oh, there's Bigfoots and we're hiding them. Why? Who would hide that? Who's making money off Bigfoots? Bullshit. Who's making money off keeping Bigfoot hidden? Nobody. But when I look at something like Kennedy

and the military-industrial complex keeping the Vietnam War going, that sort of geopolitical domino that gets flipped when he gets flipped. It's like, yeah, I could see you taking him out. That's, I don't know what this is building.

How do you get this photo of it? Was this building seven after the first world? Is Zach in on it? Is Zach in on it? I'm just asking questions. I'm just asking questions. Previously unseen World Trade Center photos. Like, like wait how did you get that molding she for to a column it's like it's a selfie of him you guys ever seen this cool pov

footage from the uh hijackers on the plane no i haven't seen this zach why are you in this video he's cracking new ground he's he's not using Google Images. Never mind, you guys can't see this one now. What if that was the only thing keeping the conspiracy from falling apart is no one using Bing image search? It's all on Bing, baby. It's all on Bing. It's all on Bing.

But it's available on Bing. Why could we hide all this sensitive information? Put them on Bing. I'm just trying to learn about Tower 7 and there's a lot of porn. I think Bing might take over Google. Bing will absolutely take over Google. Have you tried Bing's AI image creator?

It's fucking insane. I've been using it for all my fun. I've been banned so many times. I have to keep making different fucking accounts or whatever. Because I'll be like, put huge boobs on her. And they're like, banned. I'm like, damn it. so many times i have to keep making different fucking accounts or whatever yeah because i'll be like and put huge boobs on her and they're like banned i'm like damn it i but uh after you type younger for the eighth time yeah exactly like well i imagine grandmas and i'm like young woman and they're like banned i'm like god damn it they're like this guy is a too old too old too

old i'm like put a hot woman and they're like now you can't do that i thought you were gonna be kyle like uh computer simulate a steel skyscraper burning for eight hours what happens and it's like it's still on fire and you're like now make it building seven you're like it collapses narrative i truly i truly believe that 9-11 was a um an inside job and i i think it was the exact same type of inside job as uh the kennedy assassination wherein you allow someone to do the thing you want to happen and you maybe even make you maybe even guide them a little you maybe even like make a ease the path for them there was six i nine years prior to the kennedy assassination god i wish i'd written down what the operation was called it was a hypothetical um for allow like allowing an

assassin to get near someone basically what people think the kennedy assassination was like sort of finding a useful idiot to assassinate someone or make an attempt on someone and then immediately removing them from the picture. It was an operation that they had thought up and considered and I think it was for foreign governments but it's kind of what I think that's what

happened to Kennedy. I think they found Oswald and they guided him molded him, manipulated him and allowed him to get close and that's what happened. I mean Oswald and they guided him molded him manipulated him and allowed him to get close and that's what I mean Oswald's whole history is like wild I don't know how that guy was under 24-7 surveillance to begin with you ever watch uh defected to Russia and then was like never mind it's like yeah what do you mean never mind what are you talking about yeah sure come sure. Come back. You're just a normal guy. I always recommend the Stephen King book, 11-23-62. Yeah.

I think I said that right. 11-22-63. That's what I meant. They made that in – did you watch the series? It's the one – all right. I read the book in prison and loved it. I read it in like two days. So when I got out and I saw they have James Franco cast as the main guy,

it's a little bit of a letdown because I don't hate james franco but the guy in the book is a big dude like he's a call him six three six four two twenty like when he's in a physical situation you're like all right we got this you know i mean like most of the time you're like they do that all the time you're not gonna bully our guy you know yeah jack reacher is supposed to be like a six foot five like super jack guy and he is now and here's Tom Cruise aren't they doing another Jack Reacher they have a TV show I've not watched it all

dude the TV show this guy dude I watch it with my wife it's emasculating he is such a fucking mountain of a man I don't watch it with mine that dude is huge dude holy shit i don't watch it with mine that's a huge huge mistake i'd be shirtless every goddamn episode it i like man none of my ideas are

getting picked up every single thing i've typed in is content warning this prompt is no uh the um reachers that on amazon prime like you said said. They've got this giant guy from Blue Mountain State. Yeah, that big boy. Looking at him, you might think, I bet this big dopey fucker is going to be boring. He's going to be... Sometimes when a wrestler gets his first movie, like those early John Cena movies,

like The Marine 4 or whatever. God, you're not much of an actor, are you? But this guy is funny, charismatic, and sometimes it's hard to laugh along and and um be self-deprecating when you're six foot five gigantic man but he's good at that you know like he may crack some jokes on himself and they're always one thing i dislike in shows is when you've got a physical freak like that that you don't acknowledge it constantly because you know how it would be if we hung out with this dude we'd be like whoa yeah all right big man all right what do you eat what

do you shit what do you do oh my goodness can i touch you not in a gateway man i just gotta feel how dense are you are you doing shit for me all the time every time there's something heavy in the house i'd be like jack i need a hand yeah you and so in the house, I'd be like, Jack, I need a hand. Yeah. And so in the show, when people meet him, they're like, what the fuck are you? Yeah, they do. The one problem I had with the show was that somebody's really smart and he's an investigator. He's too good.

He's like, you could just go to a random fucking budget motel and he'll be like, alright. I know Vito likes golf. So he's probably been to charleston south carolina but he probably doesn't want to be too far from the home so there's a town in between charleston south carolina and myrtle beach south carolina and he's kind of on a budget but he doesn't want to appear out of place so he'll choose this hotel probably room 17 it's a lucky

number for him and you're like get the fuck out of here this is outrageously there the guy is yeah yeah and then there he is right you know first thought the first idea he had is exactly where you'd be it's not realistic there's season two have you seen it just the trailer uh okay same i uh i saw him there's a guy sitting in a car uh and and jack reacher walks up and kicks the front of the car so hard the airbag deploys and hurts the guy. I thought that was the coolest big man move ever. Because you don't look like a bully. You just look like a mad scientist at that point. He just walks up and kicks the guy's bumper.

Knocks him out with the airbag. Very expensive. Oh, it ruins your car. I think it'd be totaled. I had a car totaled. And a modern car is your total. Yeah, absolutely. All cars. Any car with an air think it'd be totaled i had a car yeah and a modern car modern car is your total yeah absolutely all car any car with an airbag you're total because we would um we would go to the junkyard and we would buy those total sedans and it was easy to like

put a new dash in them put a new airbag in them or not and uh and just we're good to go again because it'd be little fender benders in both airbag early airbags it wasn't that oh it's a little crash so little deployment is not just blow them out the whole dash would be going is it are they like appropriate now based on the my understanding is that they are ford had this thing that they told us this is what i told customers that they were smart airbags. I'm like, it's a smart airbag system. You know,

it knows how tall you are, how much you weigh based on the sensors in the seat and like the, the adjustment of your safety belt and where your seat is slid. It's going to fill out a, you know, an idea of who and what you are and it's going to deploy the airbags at right speed and the right shape and the right areas. Some airbags will deploy.

I mean, and the right shape and the right areas. Some airbags will deploy some. I mean, you believe in this, right? Right. I haven't even gotten under the hood. What do you hear about the headlights and the motor mounts and the fan belt? They're all made of exotic materials. They really are. I mean, yeah, but they all are like that's not a competitive

industry standard but you like can you believe these headlights made of lexan advanced material it won't fog and yellow like those old plastic headlights and then you smack the shit out of that thing as hard as you can because you can't break a hand you can't break one with an open hand with an open palm yeah slap the car slap the shit out of that and sometimes if the wife's not paying attention that'll wake her up you slap the car and then you're like then you start talking about like uh the the kevlar and the fan belt bulletproof fan belts yeah it's gonna come in handy well they won't wear out woody you won't have to you'll never replace this belt ever this is the

same material provided you only keep the car three years and i talk about how uh the bottom of the hood and those plastic tabs are actually a very ingenious device because that's a a fire blanket and those tabs melt fall away and then a fire blanket will come down and put your engine fire out you could be trapped in your car in a motor vehicle accident you don't have to worry about an engine fire that's on every car ever i've never seen a car that doesn't have those things i don't know that well it's most it's somewhat i'm not sure if i made that up or not but it's very believable it seems like that sounds right and i'm pointing while i say it so it's a magician very uh firmly very uh yeah i'm it's called a walk around uh i i we would we would do walk around competitions you'd go and compete with the other f with the

other four dealerships so they would send me to go to the walk around competition i i was very upset i got second place at the walk around competition because i had spunk and i was 19 fucking years old but you can give it to that old man anyway still sore about it just like i am about uh that high school thing when they when they've got the superlatives or whatever second place wittiest you know that feeling well wait they had second place superlatives for you for your class they didn't announce it but i looked i was like what happened what happened yeah how did i not get it but because the guy who won was not witty at all he was that kid who like does zany stuff for attention like

eats bubble gum out from under a desk and like like does that thing that three stooges where you lay on the floor and run in a circle he was that he was goofball he wasn't witty yeah no witty implies a certain like intelligence i was doing impressions and fucking i hit a teacher i'm witty implies a certain intelligence. I was doing impressions. I hit a teacher. I'm witty. That's not what witty implies. I ran up and I slapped her right in the face. And I got a huge laugh. And I didn't win witty. I did win Clive's Clown.

Did you? Oh yeah, baby. And I won Battle of the Bands my senior year. That's kind of living the life. What instrument did you play? I was the singer. You were the singer. battle of the bands my senior year so you won battle kind of living the life what instrument did you play i i was the singer for a band singer that's the coolest thing to be yeah you have a good singing voice oh yeah dude i love to sing sing me i love karaoke um sing me a little what sing me um that journey song don't stop believing Stop Believing Just a small town girl

I don't remember the fucking lyrics Living in a lonely world She took the midnight train Going anywhere You can sing I'll add some melody Go ahead He's just a city boy

Who's gonna back me up you don't want me helping you're gonna get us copyright stuck I am gonna get us copyright stuck I wish you guys had effort you'd think I was kidding you have a guitar somewhere that you don't know how to play true i also behind me i don't know how to play so i mean we all do right like we're adult men i'm gonna i'm gonna really sit down and figure this thing out my friend told

me that fender and gibson both have iphone apps that are amazing for learning like he thought it was a super good teaching tool. I haven't tried it yet, but it made me think. There's a Steam game where you plug instead of like plug, it's USB to like amp port or whatever. You're talking about Rocksmith? And you can

play with your real guitar. I reached out to them back when I was a big deal and I was like sponsor me. I will be the guy that learns to play guitar by by playing rocksmith and they're like dude i can see you're a big youtuber and this would be probably a good idea but we have no advertising budget this time of year and they come back next year and i didn't i bought the product off amazon and then lost it in my closet they made a nintendo ds game where you just set up chords and then you can just strum on the nintendo ds and i played that for

like hundreds of hours dude i had like a 350 400 ukulele saved in my Amazon cart. Cause I got really high, like probably eight months ago now. And I just was like living in my head. I was watching somewhere. I watched somewhere over the rainbow with the fat guy who was like the top down image of him standing in a pool. Cause he can't freestand. And I like,

like I like was just having like one of those maladaptive nighttime daydreams, a night dream, but I'm awake. And just thinking, damn, if I could play, that'd be so cool if I could play the ukulele. You could bring it out at parties. Yeah, I was like, I'd bring it out at parties. Who's that ukulele guy? I have girls over.

I have friends over. I had myself convinced that being able to play the ukulele was perfect for any occasion. And I was in my head enjoying the fantasy of people being like, you play the ukulele? And being like, yeah. And then...

Dude, bring out that uke and let's do it! They're like, oh, do you know what the ukulele is? It's no big deal. My dad can just pick up a string instrument and fucking play it. He knows how to do all the fingering, the left-handed shit.

Everything else is just strumming, unless you're getting technical. Those are the two parts. I'm just saying, he can play the banjo well. He can play the guitar well. He's got a ukulele. He's got a bunch of guitars.

It wasn't a ukulele. It was a banjo. I was fantasizing about it. It always hurts my fingers so much and they get all locked up, I think, because I have that weird finger thing. I don't think I'm going to be able to play maybe piano, but still, I have a weird finger thing. What are your guys like go to maladaptive daydreams that you just think about stupid

shit? I'll think about being in the NHL. I'm similar, except i'm not just in i'm not just a pro athlete i'm a superhero on the down low that doesn't want people to know so i like i jump higher than anyone you've seen but within limits of human ranges like i'm so fucking fast no one in the world can catch me, but they almost can, you know, because I'm not turning on all the way. I'm trying to get a career and I'm picking my city.

I'm like, you know what? Who would really appreciate a championship? The Cleveland Browns suck all the time. The rabbit fans. I, as a benevolent superhero, will win a Lombardi Cup or trophy for the Cleveland Browns. That's my daydream. That's a good one. Do you have a built-in excuse in there?

Because eventually it's like, this guy's 50 years old. How is he still competing at this level? Everyone's been saying that Matt Woodward's- Dude, I have a strict diet of chicken, rice, and broccoli. That's why I can do this. Every year on ESPN, they'd have the roundtable and one person would be like, this is the year. Matt Woodworth, he's 50 years old.

He's got to fall off. He can't be the best scorer in the NBA. And then someone else is like, they were saying this in 1985. They said it in 95. They said it in 05 and 15, and he still plays. He's the goat for a reason. I suppose that's right. I like talking about you.

That would be so funny. Do you have any of these? I want to make the Hall of Fame on him. You inspire lots of other men your age to go into pro sports to hurt themselves. What would Woody do? And like a 65-year-old man's jumping up. Yeah, Woody is like,

this alternative Woody is like looking for groups that are downtrodden he's like yeah maybe the election was stolen i need to get i need to get in there with the people when i when i am my superhero fantasy i i always use it for some some like greater um evil like like i i imagine myself interceding in wars um or geopolitics like maybe going or evil i go and like talk to zelinski for example and like like have a conversation with him it's like you got a real problem out uh out east i hear maybe i could help you know um what would what would be in it for me though you know i'd want to what would be in it for me because man i it's a real nice country

you've got here i like the palace here especially this palace you have here what what's the rent like on a place like this you know i put myself in a nice comfy ukrainian position and then i just run ramshot over the russian military like omni-man right or maybe i can help with transportation i bet i could move those american tanks to you to ukraine like overnight right it's like yeah put them all on a big flat thing that you carry you know i'm omni-man essentially he's got most of my look if i'm fan when in your fantasies are you like a c-grade superhero are you sticky man or some shit and he has to work out constantly you got like a frog tongue and that's it

like get the fuck out of here I'm that orange guy like a horrible debilitating thing oh I hate my phone I do that too but I have this in this case I'm Omni man right like he's super all powerful and I don't kill the Russians immediately because you know they

might not be their fault they're doing it but I can like one punch a tank and disable it just rip a tread off I'm going to come back here and if you're still at this you die this was your warning punch I hear you but I'm kind of in it for that it's why I went to that part of the world

I would like you're not negotiating between sides trying to get the most possible I would like profit to be made you're not negotiating between sides trying to get the most possible for your i think they need to know look before we can negotiate everyone needs to know where they stand taylor and so i need to go make that clear first but you're you're ultimate man so like you could go they don't know about ultimate man though i'm brand new i thought you were world famous at this point you just no no no this is my debut okay yeah i just the spider just bit me and then and but simultaneously an asteroid hit me and oh my god scientist hit me with a pool of electricity it all poured over me and so now

i'm all powerful and doctor get in here this man's been having lots of risky gay sex, but we've never seen this before. It turns out the key to superpowers is pause loads. Who would have thought? It's keeping a low level of syphilis in your system for decades. Yes. That's what it is. I do have a low level of syphilis.

Antibodies, they're always present. I can't get blood, and I need to. My red blood cell count, it's too high taylor you see you funny but true i have to phlebotomize myself i have a lot of iron i would really like as like an omni-man type person thing um to have a weapon made for me like i get that i have all the powers, but I want a big fully automatic cannon that only I could ever wield. A silly thing

that I'm like, yeah, give me a 40mm machine gun and put an AR-15 stock on it. It's like a building built around an AR-15 stock. I can just fly around with that. I really want to just fly around and do Lord of the Rings.

What's the conflict in this fantasy? Someone's got to push back on you, I mean. Because if it's just you running roughshod, it's kind of boring after a couple hours. Not for me. I want to be president of the world or some shit. You wouldn't want there to be like... So if you're some shit but like I want global you wouldn't want there to be like so if you're picking Ukraine and Russia as the conflict you're joining you wouldn't want there to be a Russian Superman

because how else are you going to prove that you're badass unless you have like another guy that you can duke it out because everybody's going to know I'm going to employ a lot of genocide I think right away I think that'll let everybody that'll let everyone know how cool you are you see Israel you go whole region gone lasered away show your

serious honestly yeah i i think that's the first thing i would do is i would i saw a picture of like the whole region but it was a crater of water instead of israel palestine egypt and all those surrounding countries and it was like well peace okay i could arrange that if i'm omni man just kill everything there make a big hole of it would you threaten other like would you go to a country that's just never had their shit together and be like hey somalia i'm coming back a year from now get it together i want to see a statue i want to see something i think i would want all i don't know something good i think i'd want to go to the United Nations. I think I would want to appear before the United Nations and give an ultimatum.

And I'll be back in a week. And I need everyone's signature on this document. And I'd get myself an Israeli lawyer to draw me up a little document for all the world leaders. He'd be in on it. He don't care. Now all of Israel, you wall it in, and that's your personal, you have them on retainer. And they either basically sign their countries

into the confederacy or whatever you want to call it of Kyle, the axis of Kyle, the federation of Kyle. Or they are at war with the confederacy of Kyle and we will strike you the following Monday. Could it be the cool confederacy of Kyle? And you spell confederacy with a K?

Yeah. It could be. I don't think you can cancel this. Kyle's cool confederacy. You know, this reminds me, you're like talking to a news anchor and he's like, you know, it reminds me a lot. And then you have your giant gun. You're like, reminds you of what?

I'm sorry, the K. What is CKK? Taylor, I don't get it. No, the cool would obviously have to be chaos. The cool confederacy of Kyle. No one minded that. The hood is what was really off-putting for everyone. The hood.

They hated it. I told them they were dynamic, but they don't believe me. What's your superhero costume involved in White Hood? No, but I think that's generally what I would do. If I had the power, I side with when I watch Invincible, I see Omni-Man as the good guy because he's basically showing up and he's saying,

he is there to conquer the Earth. I see him as the good guy because he's showing me saying, look, I'm from a superior empire to you. We live longer. We can fly. We're basically gods compared to you you work for us now you are you are a a junior member of our empire prepare to like join us now under us you'll have advanced medical care and like like we're going to show you the secrets of the universe and lead you forward and for some reason everybody's like no we like limited

democracy under this weird quasi-republic thing that we're doing now i'm like yes yes thank you lord like like if if there ever was a god it's omni-man i could worship omni-man what happens the planets that viltrum invade nothing bad bad? Well, I think the idea is that Viltrum is in control. Yeah, but you'll never be in control. It's like, you can't be president once the Viltrumites show up. Your leadership would be more

of a committee. They would be more of like a cabinet. So you would change from human to dog. Do you want to be a dog? Well, that's an interesting way to look at it. They're not going to treat... He mentioned that he saw his wife as a pet, but it makes about right.

We are pets compared to a thing that lives without... If you process it, you'll see you're not in charge. You're in charge. You don't live a terrible life as a dog. We're not in charge now. The genetic superiority of the Veltramites you're not gonna interfere with your personal life they're just gonna completely change the way your society works we're not in charge of our society now that's true is the veltramite better than the the leaders we

have then i'll vote veltramite i don't get they've become like a lactic empire somehow so i i feel like they've got a pretty good uh they have a um on it what do you call it when um people who do well or uh or something taught meritocracy they have like i thought you were gonna say holocaust they do well they have a meritocracy we're gonna have a bit of a holocaust you think they're gonna do a little genocide on the humans i think they do a little bit of gen i think you're the velrumites are going to call a couple people. They'd have to. They'd need all the new subjects to behave. They're genetically inferior.

What he keeps saying is, if you would stop fighting, I wouldn't have to kill so many people. They just keep saying, stop resisting. I'm just trying to bring in a new age of, we're the Indians and the white people just got here. What would you like? You're showing up because you're you're King Kyle now and King Kyle's Confederacy and you show up.

You just what are you offering as the new king? Because you don't want to be the ruler of the ashes or some nonsense. You have to coax them to be like, you know what? I do hate our government. This cool Kyle guy, he's... I like him. Well, no. If we're still going back to just me getting superpowers, you know, the spider bites me and then I fall into the pool of electricity while the asteroid hits me

as I'm praying, then I'm not giving any... I'm not trying to smooth things over. It's like, this is how it is. You wouldn't want to be loved? You'd want to be feared? I think that I'm going to form a fan base of people who appreciate my take-no-shit attitude

and my mercilessness. I think there are going to be people who respond to that. They're going to be like, he didn't even show up to negotiate. Yeah, you don't negotiate with a god. Yeah. That would be my viewpoint. It's King Kyle's Confederacy, and then he has his

legion of hardcore soldiers, the super squad, the SS. And then you go around... I've got these really cool armbands, man. Yeah, the uniforms are dope. First thing Kyle does, statue of Robert E. Lee everywhere. The people in poland are like who is this man and why is he taking place of all our famous heritage this is i don't know who this man is i don't why you take down polish king and you're like shut up you're gonna love this guy poland don't worry about it. You're going to love him. But I just feel like if they are more advanced, then admit it.

I love my dogs. Their lives are wonderful. Yeah, I'd love to be Omni-Man's species dog people. If they look down on us as inferiors, that makes a lot of sense because we're tens of thousands of years technologically behind them. We live for 100 years, and they live for like 10 000 years it's yeah what is he like that is what are they trying to steal or gain they don't our planet they they they want a galactic empire they want now there's possible i haven't read the comics and there's some like twist at

the end we're like we're actually taking their souls to power us. Maybe that gets revealed later on, but as far as I know, they're just forming a galactic empire. They want control of everything. They want every star system to be theirs. They used to attack with these big fleets, these big army. They'd send three or four guys,

maybe a hundred guys, and just destroy a world, but that was too damaging to the world. Now their method is to send one guy in and blend in if he can and slowly pretend like he's a protector for the world but weaken the world's defenses

so that they can have no choice but to like meld into the galactic empire it's like carrot or stick though it really doesn't seem to be that sort of we're taking over we're mining all your resources and stealing them it's like yeah with us now sort of thing i i just don't see the downside to it at all i want on board you're selling me like it seems like a good idea i mean if they've run they should take like a couple leaders over to like an already conquered planet and be like

take a look at this here's photos of what it was like before we got here and it was a real shithole and now pretty nice nice clean streets nice whatever we el salvador this whole country or this whole world locked up all the crims all the baddies and then you could you could sell people on it then you get trump and biden and all the thes all the baddies and then you could you could sell people on it then you get trump and biden and all the the leaders come back and they're like it's pretty good i don't know if biden or trump could survive space travel though at their age you need a younger guy shatter lasted what half an hour right i felt bad for shatner after that when bezos started popping the champagne.

I've seen the horror of the infinite and I don't not like it. Shatner's wife died to a drunk driver and he hasn't had a drop since. Oh shit, Elon Musk was spraying him with champagne. What did he say? He looked out on the blackness of space and like said he was consumed with dread and fear something like that he's like for the longest time i dreamed of uh seeing the stars and now i realize we're trapped on this fucking rock forever and there is no hope for any of us dear god in heaven and it was like wow shatner that's not inspiring at all holy shit wow was it bezos or musk i thought one of you says that was probably says a spaceship too yeah this is what this is what shatner said he said my trip to space was

supposed to be a celebration instead it felt like a funeral it was among the strongest feelings of grief i've ever encountered the contrast between the vicious coldness of space and the warm nurturing of earth below filled me with overwhelming sadness wow don't go to space yeah I think Bezos was pissed off he's like bitch I am trying to sell million dollar fucking plane tickets to space don't tell everyone it's the most depressing fucking thing you've ever done

you asshole I bet it is pretty depressing once you get up there it's like oh my god it's not as bad as New Jersey but it's close it's not as bad as what's the shitty part? North or South Jersey? North. I remember you had a strong opinion about the North Jersey people

not being like us Southern Jersey folk. They're so obviously inferior. It's like, look, everyone in North Jersey and everyone in South Jersey knows that North Jersey sucks their town is not as good that it smells bad that it's dirtier

and the fact that the North Jersey people that like it's weird to me that they can't plainly admit that they're inferior humans what's their comeback what's their big thing they hang their hat on it's like nah like I don't know there is it's just

like verifiably true that north jersey is the inferior part of new jersey it it's not a close call and it's weird to me that they just don't see it as the garden state yeah if there was ever a self-named piece of land because i'm gonna you know, if anybody else had been in that naming committee, it would have been scum land. Ah, Chittsburg. I like that one. Yeah, that's like the kind of rivalry between St louis and kansas city except they're the better city like no you know we're not the shits

yeah what about you veto what's the regional rivalry of the area you're from? And are you from California? I'm originally from Massachusetts. So I'm from the most hippie, horrible part of Massachusetts. That's probably worse than anything in California. I'm from Amherst, UMass, Amherst, Amherst College or whatever. It's funny. It's like a super progressive town, but we're named after the guy who killed a whole bunch of Indians by giving them a cool blanket. He's he's like hey you guys want some blankets they're

awesome i thought that was myth busted i thought that was myth busted well that's the ongoing that's one of those i call those i call those little brown lies yeah the debate is and even if he did did a you know it's also the name of my new YouTube channel Where I'll be exposing the radical left Right The question is Did any English colonists really Have a understanding of smallpox

To the point where it's like Oh this will definitely work on Native Americans If anything it was just a happy accident Sorry a bad accident Not a happy accident I stand behind happy accident like fuck those people we wanted this land and we took it and i love whenever they're like give me my land back like no when like you were constantly eating each other alive and taking it from the arapaho or the fucking seminole or whoever it is what land could

be owned you guys were still fucking... They definitely were wrong about that. Dude, I was super pissed. They knew lands could be owned and possessed because they'd be like, hey, you're from the other tribe. We already kicked you out. We're going to fuck your ass up for coming back. My understanding is that the wording of it is confusing

to them with the language barrier. It's more of a semantic problem. It's a semantic problem because if I say, hey, Taylor, can I buy all the air outside your house? You're like, yeah. You want my air? Yeah, all of it. I don't know, man.

It's pretty steeped by all my hair. How about let's make it 500. And you're like, enjoy your air, sucker. And you walk away. I feel like that's what they thought. They didn't know it meant, so you can't step on our side or we'll kill you because that's what we view property rights that it's like in the western world it's like we own this which means if you step on it i will kill you and my friends will be will say good job and help me bury you because

i've done right and killed a trespasser which is the worst crime possible is it our fault that they love beads not ironically that's how I feel they just loved beads that's what it was they just loved beads so much that we're like they've never seen glass before we're like what about this shit they were stone age

and so like I guarantee the first fucking like Spanish conquistador whoever comes over and there's like, I'm going to go offer them diamonds and rubies. And one guy who's smart is like, hold on, hold on here. How about we start with glass baubles?

See if we can get them for that. And then they just go talk to these weaved pieces of cloth. Oh, yeah. Look at the colors. Look at the dye, the bright reds. You got a lot of blues here.

I don't know about the red colors. You've seen those. And then the one chief is thinking he got a hell of a deal going back, talking to his tribe. And who's the one they bought it from? It was in charge, right? Imagine this. An alien comes down, and he lands in Atlanta, Georgia,

and he happens to see me coming out of a 7-Eleven. He's like, hey, I'll buy the city uh 20 million credits and i'm like yeah okay give me the bag i throw it in the back of my car and i go home yeah he goes he goes back to neptune he's like secured it 20 million credits can you believe it yeah we can move in next week that kid was very nice he was a very nice guy i I spoke to, yeah, I mean. Meanwhile, you're just. He was the king. I asked him if he was the king, and he said yes.

And he wouldn't lie about it. Yeah, I am totally the king. Here's the thing about, like, dude, I can't feel bad for the Native American tribes anymore because I found out, you know, the one that's always like, we own Mount Rushmore. Give us back Mount Rushmore. It's like, all we own Mount Rushmore. Give us back Mount Rushmore. It's like, all right, guys, you're not getting back Mount Rushmore.

Just get over it. They actually had, the government went, I think it was the 70s. They're like, you know what? We looked into the records. It was kind of fucked. We kind of forced you off the land, whatever else. How about we give you like, we've decided you are owed $30 million or whatever amount, some obscene amount of money.

And the tribe said, we don't care. We don't want your dirty money. And the of money the tribe said we don't care we don't want your dirty money and the government said no you don't understand like we've already decided here's 30 million dollars it will just sit into the in this bank account until you take it and it's just been sitting there accruing interest for 50 years and at this point it's worth like i don't know half a billion dollars and the tribe who has now been whittled down to like 12 idiots is still like, well, I don't know. My job now is to marry a girl who's in that tribe and get that money.

That's my goal now. Can you imagine needing a girl in the tribe? It's like Woody and Taylor were the tribal elders and Woody just will not take that money. He's like, I'm a man of principle. And Taylor and I were like, come on dude, it's like, it's 487

million dollars. What are you going to say, greedy Indians? Like, they'll understand. Chief stubborn ass. Please let us have the money. We would take Woody on a fishing trip that he wouldn't come back from. No, put on this vest. It has lots of heavy beads on it.

Push you into the sea. I mean, at this point, if you give me. Do you want the rocks that look like a president? Or do you want $500 million? I'd go, you know what? I think I can have more fun with the $500 million. Well, what? But I thought that mountain has your ancestors in it. They'll be fine. They're

fine. Mount Rushmore was a dogshit piece of rock until we carved nice stuff into it to look at. It was already shaped like a head. That's why we chose it. And they had named it like the Great Elder Rock. And what did they do? Did they chisel it away and make it real good looking? No, we did that.

Yeah, they didn't they just a fucking rock that kind of it was you ever see you ever watch the history channel special when it shows them doing it they're out there rappelling down the face with these big yeah they look like boogers like like hydro chiselers or something there's like well that it's so incredible they got those faces into that mountain. Dude, taking their mountain and then making it good? Owned. Yeah. These people went 20,000 years and couldn't invent a fence. You think they're going to

make Count Rushmore? We were right about to get to that. That was next on our list. That was next on the docket. Sell all our land for three beads and then learn and then learn carving learn metallurgy i saw a diagram and it showed the first like uh pilgrims you know the

first thanksgiving people that came over on the mayflower or whatever and um it it has all the it's just it's a diagram it's a it's a picture representing each family so if it's just a single man you just have the single man symbol which you know it's got the hat and the belt buckle and the old musket and then but it depicts what all the families were oftentimes you had three to four kids and then it shows how many came and how many were there the next year it grays out all the dead people it was rough that was the first winter... Every family lost somebody. Every family. What's crazy is coming over on the boat,

we only lost one person. The whole trip from fucking England over here and everyone's like, hey, that went great! Normally everybody gets scurvy and fuck. We're gonna be awesome! What's this winter shit, though? Boom! Just knocked out 70% of them.

They got pretty decimated massachusetts uh yeah plymouth rock yeah yeah so apparently they had landed in like florida what'd you say carolina if it would have gone better i said apparently plymouth rock isn't even cool like no they've got it indoors now right dude plymouth rock isn't even the rock they landed on it was just a rock they like it's just a rock that they were like i named this rock plymouth rock yeah we landed eight miles that way doesn't have any historical significance it's not cool it's not good it's a tourist trap yeah if you're gonna do that we need to at least make up a better building around it and charge tickets or something, right? Is it indoors? I thought it was... I think it's now

outside in, like, a little pagoda or something. I thought I saw a picture of it on Reddit the other day and it was, like, inside. You had to, like, walk past a velvet rope to take a look at the fucking thing. Like, who would care? Who would do such a thing? Yeah, this is a dog

shit rock. They're saying it's down to a third of the original rock. They kept moving. Okay, I see. Okay. If they removed that and then just went through it in a big pile of rocks, like eight miles down the way, they couldn't recover it. They just have to get a new rock. That's how normal that rock is.

That rock. They would just get a new rock. I hate that rock. What a dumb rock that's how how normal that rock is that rock they would just get a new rock i hate that rock what a dumb rock i want to go see it i want i want to get a coffee cup that reminds me of the time i wasted my time are you getting an intense t-shirt i survived plymouth rock what's the i want what's the best day plymouth i wasted my time at the rock what's the best thing you've ever gone to see like a landmark or a monument like a one of those touristy pull over the side of the road it's five miles ahead the the great ball of yarn or the whatever the fuck of a man of man-made ones probably the st louis arch it's huge oh okay of like what's a like as far as

the landmark what's a better like man-made one uh oh i haven't seen that though i haven't been great wall of china i haven't been there you haven't been to china either i i haven't oh i suppose i didn't preface that you needed to go there, huh? Oh, well, yeah. When you said you have to go there, I'm like, you think I would put St. Louis Arch up all time up against the Great Wall of China? No. I was confused. Does it have to be man-made or the coolest place?

That's the coolest. Yeah, that's what I meant. It could be a ball of yarn. It could be a cave. For me, I think it's a cave I went to in Tennessee was mind-blowing. Yeah, I've been to some cool caves on field trips. There's a bunch of that around here. Yeah went to this uh these caverns up in tennessee uh and just

the tour in there was there were underwater waterfalls there was interesting lighting the tour guide was funny and talented it was it was a really good mind-blowing experience to see that stuff also uh sedona arizona zach can you show us some photos of sedona arizona the rocks there because the that place is very beautiful it would be in my top five of places that things i've seen freedom tower is pretty sick i saw it with you from the interstate it was probably five miles away but it was like you didn't go there it is i've been to the freedom tower new york is pretty amazing to see that i've been to the Freedom Tower New York is pretty amazing to see I've been to this stuff

That shit's pretty amazing It's Recency bias but I went to where those Four states connect and it's not Anywhere near as magnificent of these things But I really liked it But the one I thought of was the Strait of Gibraltar The Strait of Gibraltar is just south of Spain

It's what separates Europe From Africa And there are these mountains On either side of it Gibraltar. The Strait of Gibraltar is just south of Spain. It's what separates Europe from Africa. There are these mountains on either side of it. You take taxis and stuff and you walk around and the monkeys jump all over you and beg for food and pull the shirts off the girls. I like that a lot. That does sound fun. Don't call them that, Woody. It's not polite. Monkeys? that does sound fun don't call them that woody it's it's not polite monkeys they're really

man hey i don't want to have this conversation again just just because they look that way doesn't how evolution works we just have a common ancestor that's i'm offended yosemite is amazing if you guys ever go to yosemite there's really cool stuff i've never been there but i'd like to that'd be fun do we have any good i mean mount rushmore is probably the best man-made one we have right how big is mount rushmore it's way bigger than you think oh i thought it was people say the opposite It was right what I expected, but everyone was like, it's so underwhelming, it's not cool. I saw Mount Rushmore pretty nice.

I rented a helicopter and got flown around. Okay, well that'll do it. You get a nice view. This is Mount Rushmore. And then there's an Indian one that they're doing also. It's the lamest piece of shit. It's fucking awful. And I'm like, dude, this is embarrassing.

You should remove this. Did you know there's a southern Mount Rushmore? No. Zach, show. It's in the Smoky Mountains. It's the leaders of the Confederacy up on a mountain. I've never seen it in person, but I know they do a laser show there

that's supposedly incredible. Everybody always talks about it, but it's somewhere in Stone Mountain. They have all the Confederate leaders carved into a mountain, I'm told. Yeah, look at that. See, I like that there's more than just the heads on there. That looks good.

But I need to know how big this is. How impressed to be. It's 10,000 feet across. That would be the coolest monument ever. Two miles. Two miles across. If this was two miles across, the Confederates would have won. That's why they lost all that manpower on their giant.

This was what 80% of the Confederate Army was tasked with. The construction of the wall. This is not prudent, but it was very cool. We were just really sure we were going to win and we wanted to get ahead of ourselves. It took forever because they used musket fire to carve them.

This is the Indian Mount Rushmore that's supposed to be created. It looks so much worse in person. This is a really good picture. That whole part supposed to be his hand pointing right yeah i don't know look at this that part where you see that little platform it's supposed to be crazy horse going like yeah yeah that's what i'm saying i feel like he's pointing at us more judgingly like you stole my land you know in return i will steal your idea is there just one guy making that crazy horse thing i don't look like it yeah it's like one idiot making it he's like never gonna get kind no that

is kind of what it is it was just like some guy was like i want to make a crazy horse one you know to offset all those whities it's like all right man go nuts and he's like i'll finish it eventually like go for it. No one gives a shit, but if you want people to give a shit, do it well. Do it good. Make it look really nice. It's been going since 1931 they've been working on it. I think they're mailing it in.

I'm dead serious. You can look at the histories. It's 1931. They're like, I carved a little EI yesterday. I don't know. I don't want to do any more. Fucking lazy bones not getting their shit done. Well, that's four hours. You guys want to call it a show?

I think so. Vito, where can everyone find you? Guys, this is a very important plug if you're listening to this if you're watching this on youtube you have no excuse okay we have a podcast called the biggest problem in the universe just go right now youtube.com slash biggest problem and subscribe it's not a joke i'm goofing around i know people hear the plugs and they go, oh, I'm not going to do that. I'm like, just go do it and make this show better. If everyone listens

to PKA, subscribe. It's the biggest problem. My life will be infinitely better and you'll have another show to listen to every week. It's a great show. It is a great show. It's better than this show. It's equal to this show when Vito's on it, though.

Exactly. Let me know. I'll come on again. it's equal to this show when veto's on it though it's a good show exactly if you like let me know i'll come on we're really trying to get that math for a second we're stuck at like 14 000 subscribers we got to get to 20 000 subscribers and the only way we can do it is right now right now if you listen to it right now don't call do it later just right now go to youtube.com slash biggest problem as you're listening to this and subscribe to the show. Check it out. It's a very funny podcast. Good show.

All right. P.K.A. 676. you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you