Painkiller Already - PKA 678 W/ Dick Masterson: Taylor’s Celebrity Meetup, Public Indecency, Twitch Too Racy?

Episode Date: December 16, 2023

pka 678 with our guest dick masterson taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaoh distro.com freeze pipe blue chew and lock and load a bunch of quality products we'll talk more about all them later indeed dick how are you doing great how do you think i'm doing taylor uh you know what i was all worried because i was losing my relevance and my Patreon was going in the shitter. It was going to dip down below 15,000 a month. And then my old pal Maddox decides to make a three-hour documentary on what a piece of shit I am. I saw that.

And I refuse to get anyone's point of view other than yours in your drama. Did you see the documentary, Taylor? I did not watch i didn't know i dicks right here i didn't want to give you a lie i didn't want to watch all three hours of that was my youtube bread just to fuel dicks haters i'm not going to give him one view because i'm team masterson and i only know one percent of the story oh it's not monetized he fucked uh maddox took 10 minutes in the middle of his video and just dumped like 50 000 screenshots of the n-word so his magnum opus that he's been working on for five years to try to destroy my life and my girlfriend's life and

basically everybody who's ever known me uh is not even monetized he's such a he's such an idiot is it did it even do well? Does it have a bunch of views or no? Yeah, it's got like 80,000 views. It did well in that he's been obsessively monitoring the comments for like a week and a half, deleting anybody making fun of him.

It did well because my Patreon's back over 21,000 a month. Thank God. Hell yeah. I was going to have a horrible Christmas. I already told everybody in my family, look, there's just no money for christmas presents you guys you're just gonna have to i'm gonna make you some cards maybe or write you some jokes but i don't have any money to buy you anything especially my girlfriend i had no money for her but now dick i'll tell you

a man cannot survive on a mere 180 000 a year from one of his revenue streams. He lives in LA. He might be down to half a million a year in total. He lives in a bunker in LA. He needs that money. What am I supposed to do? Cook my own food? Not rent whatever I want on Amazon Video Prime?

Please, please, gentlemen. In my head, I was like, he has somebody cook his food and it's like i do too and i probably pay more yeah she's downstairs right now i have two cleaning ladies i put i pit them against each other to see who cleans my house better um brilliant have you ever pissed off somebody so much that they make a documentary on how much they hate you that's longer than The Godfather 2. Like, let's let that sink in. With, like, 3D cut scenes,

like, 3D animation, wipes, all this After Effects shit. It took him no lie five years to make. It's totally insane. Is it, like, actually half a decade? Yeah, yeah, because the screenshots that he has in his Cuckumentary, It's totally insane. Is it really like actually half a decade? Yeah. Yeah. Because the screenshots that he has in his documentary, some of them say like a year ago and then it has a comment and that comment was made in like 2019 or 2018. Jesus.

So he started working on it the day he lost his lawsuit against me. So what has he been doing? I thought he kind of faded into that good night of content following the first lawsuit. But has he been doing his own thing since then? Just, I guess, for not a lot of viewership? Yeah, he's been, he pretended to be a banana on Twitch for a little bit.

That was pretty funny. Were you fooled? Yeah, I was fooled. He was fooled into thinking that people were laughing with him instead of asking. He would just get shit-faced and pretend to be a banana and go like, Oh, I'm putting him in the docks. Oh, God, I hate my life. And kind of shit on himself, shit on his real self and real life as these characters.

It must have been some kind of therapy. Yeah, there it is. I can tell that's not a real banana. Yeah, I can tell it's him. Is that even him? Dude! I feel like this shtick is lower than us. This is annoying orange shit. This is some

E-bombs world shit. I remember when we were making videos seeing Annoying Orange and thinking like, this isn't that hard. Yeah, this is easy. It's pretty easy. I got a future here. He would get shit-faced and then get into like fights with spiders and stuff as a banana uh because he lives in i don't know he must live in section 8 housing by now that was his that was his night job so you're still giving him money in a way yeah during the day oh yeah exactly fucking exactly uh during the day he's working on this uh magnum opus about

about me and how how he dumped me first and uh dude he doxxed maddox set up a website and doxxed 5 000 fans of my show like it looks like a world war ii memorial he made a website he said all these people uh are all nazis and pedophiles and then listed like full names of everybody who is in a facebook group for my show it's fucking psychotic you can do it on youtube he didn't get down for that how did he get a hold of your nazi pedophile list because he faked that he was a Nazi pedophile and joined the Facebook group. I don't know how he's still on YouTube. He's like doxing people nonstop, blasting the N-word for 20 minutes.

I don't know how he's still on YouTube. I got kicked off of YouTube for showing a fat guy with no shirt on. And Maddox is just... still on. This is fucking insane. You got kicked off of YouTube? Yeah. We is fucking insane. Are you getting kicked off of YouTube? Yeah. We can see you.

On this channel, he can. You're back though, right? Like the dick show is back. No. No, they kicked me off of YouTube. The Indian guys, like, you know, your first appeal goes to an Indian guy and I said, hey, that's not a... I'm not showing nudity. That's a fat guy. That's a bunch of fat guys laying on top did it look like a girl is that what they claimed

no uh yeah they said it was like sexual sexual in nature it was a bunch of fat guys laying on top of each other like a big pile as a joke yeah or as part whatever the indian guys don't judge the indian guys said it looked like the south park it was like the gay sex pile that they were doing yeah except they had all their pants on uh the indian guy said okay yeah that's obviously like just a fat guy you're back in and then by the time i'm pretty sure a fat lady at youtube just has it out for me in there they're like they're the worst yeah they're the worst. Except the fat ladies looking at this channel.

They're splendid. Beautiful. Don't lose a pound. One or two more pounds, then you're fat. But you? Oh, you're perfect. That's heavy. Those are curves, baby. That's how I like them. Enormous. The kind of girl you can tell in their car that they're fat. Because it's leaning a little bit they have to get their tires rotated

unevenly uh did you guys see the christmas present that i gave to all my patrons no that watch pin oh shit taylor you would love it i'm gonna send it to everybody but taylor you would love it hold on oh i find that watch pin. Yeah. I mean, nobody has like old nudities allowed on Twitch. Is that. No, we should get to that a little later. There's some news on that,

that I have not read. And I kind of, I do want to, I, I do know about like the thing where they're showing like the top of their titties. I saw that one chick loved her going to have to find her only fans. See what that's about.

Let's see. But if that one news. Yeah, this have to find her OnlyFans. See what that's about. Let's see this. Yeah, this is my Christmas present to all my patrons. It's a nice classy lapel pin so we can identify each other in the wild. Oh, Jesus Christ. Throw that up there, Zach. Throw that up full screen.

We'll come up with our own ideas. Oh, Woody. Speaking of ideas, I came up with a hum dinger today i can't spoil it on the show but we got another lock and load on our hands i'm gonna let you know right now you gotta check you gotta check the text convo me and kyle were having yesterday i mean i don't know if we're gonna cut you in at this point you you got left in the dust we got a real hum dinger down the line that watch so how big is this lapel pitch an inch it's one inch so it's nice and classy you know if a fat woman is close enough to you to read what it says you already have problems

yeah you're already too close if you can read this get away get away that's perfect like i love that and i know like you may not know this about woody woody has the most ingrained dislike of obesity and fat people of anyone i've ever met it's one of my favorite things about him is you it'll like someone will pull a photo up of a woman who's like 25 20 pounds overweight like not even noticeably fat in clothes and the first thing woody will be like put down the peanut butter sweetheart i'm just like damn based red pilled when the fappening happened and all those pictures of Kate Upton came out and who's like

Woody's like pretty fat she'll be 200 pounds in five years I think she's, check Woody see if you predicted it I bet she's looking good, my bet is she looks great bump him back bump him back. Get your fucking fist up here, Woody.

Bump him back, Woody. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I left you hanging. I was looking for recent Kate Upton pictures. You guys are probably on the list of Nazis and pedophiles that Maddox has been spreading around. Well, I don't care for that one bit.

What makes him say that the fans of yours were Nazis? Oh, I remember saying Kate Upton was pre-fat. I'm sure I was right. Look at her. You see this? You see what I'm talking about? It's that campy 2023. This is the shot picture.

That dude's face looks 18 inches tall. He's a professional ball player. That's how she looks thin if she dates guys with fucking Easter Island hands. Alright, well find me a less edited photo. You got a shot with her. With your head. Burn that picture in your mind.

Burn that picture in your mind because here's the real one. Wait for Zach. What? She's still not fat. It's just the front angle. I mean, come on. No, that's. Look. This is fat.

I thought she'd get bigger than that. But also, zoom into her face, Zach. It's a big core, man. I wish we could juxtapose that against the clearly shopped image that Zach found at first. His face is not. It's rounder than it was in Zach's picture. I'm seeing that. I'm seeing all that, and I'm agreeing.

I'm co-signing it. However, Zach, how tall is she? How tall is Kate Upton? Is she one of those 5'10 bitches? Because I bet homeboy there played ball or something, and he's like 6'4". Dude, Kate Upton looks fucking phenomenal in these photos. Yeah, I don't think i mean

she could lose five but i'm just five she could lose 15 and she would look phenomenal it depends how tall she is you're right you're right i mean that's it's totally right let's find out that would change woody's estimation from 15 to 25 5 10 bitch whenever we ask like like tits or ass or whatever woody's like flat tummy flat tummy i don't care look at that guy's teeny little i'm right look oh her she's 5 10 uh yeah that's partly why she's held up well tall chicks can put some weight on and still have decent proportions short chicks i swear they have one fucking donut and you gotta toss them out the door because they have no value anymore.

On the other hand, like they're good. Half a dozen donuts before they get into problems. That's true. That's Woody. Matt for tossing little women out your front door. What do you do? Literally.

You got to use your legs or you'll hurt yourself. I'm old. My back hurts now. I got it. I got a lift with my legs do i love being overweight still and being like haha fucking fat asses like just still not no visible abs unless i'm really sucking is that where your visible abs yet still taylor i thought you would i mean i'd like no at like the top of my torso i can see like oh there's like little bits coming in like oh

that's you're too kind with that it's just there's no longer an enormous amount of horse shit hanging there's a bit of a divot there that comes in like on each side yeah below the rib i think i'm gonna buy shapewear for men now i think that's my next move yeah thanks you know put some mascara or however those girls do it. I saw one Shark Tank. This guy had it was like a grate with holes mixed out and he hit it with spray

tan and it gave him paint on abs. That's good. That's the move right there. You look better than Bruce Buffer does. I disagree. I think Bruce looks fine. Especially for his age. I think Bruce looks fine. I think, especially for his age, I think he's the best 70-year-old dude slinging dick out there.

Is he 70? Is he slinging dick? I'm just yelling. Yeah. A friend always told us that he was big into the whores and the nightlife. And he does have those fake ab implants that look kind of silly. But he also does tea. I don't know what he looks like now.

He always wears a jacket or whatever in the ring. But last time... He's teed up. Yeah, this is old, but this is the photo we always go to. Those are fake abs? My picture is better. I can barely see his Those are fake abs? Like an ab? Yeah.

My picture's better. I can barely see his abs. God, that's got to be uncomfortable. Yeah, there we are. So what I heard, and this is not very reliable, is that he had sculpted liposuction. So they just remove the fat, and those are like fat pads. They're not abs. That's not a guy with strongly visible visible abs his body fat's too high you can tell he's not benching like he or he is he's just not responding to it like i see where

you're coming from he's an old man unless you're an old man are you right should i because i do great if i'm guessing his his age I'm calling him 70 years old. Or 67 to 70. That would be my guess. You're doing well. He's 66. Okay. Yeah.

So on a curve, he grades well. Yeah. But I would get the ab implants, I think. You know? If it were subtle. I think little things like that could be super strong. But is that your goal, Taylor? To keep slimming down perhaps until you are maybe like 13? You know, I used to have those pie-in-the-sky goals.

But I think now I just want to have big shoulders, big arms, big chest, nice back, lean mid midsection good legs like i just want to look good naked i don't want to like i don't want to take off my clothes as i'm getting in the shower and look in the mirror and be like you scumbag like that's you man that's a mental thing yeah i think you're adjusted on that where yeah but then i'll look at myself and be like you're not only fat you're a fucking liar wait taylor because i have heard you from i'll make it up five years ago talk about how rough your inter dialogue is on you inner dialogue i mean yeah right so you're like taylor you fat piece of shit you need to shape up or shit about and then call it 18 months ago you were like you know you gotta love yourself what i did before is not where i aspire to be i have a more positive affirmation where are you today i'm i'm much

better than i used to be what's better i don't know i don't i don't necessarily think old taylor was crazy no he wasn't because at the time when i was at my worst it's because i was fat as fuck but like now if i'm starting to get absurd with it and being like you fucking fat piece of shit you worthless dumb ass like all that i'll be like that's like calm down like don't you like i'll talk myself out of that pretty quick and be like you know you're not you're not that bad a guy you're okay but like five years ago like it was most of my adult life that i thought like the normal healthy way to talk to yourself in your head was mean. You fucking piece of shit.

Nobody likes you. You're fat. You're ugly. And be like, oh man, this isn't productive. Do you tell yourself that you're a good guy? Those are the things he tells himself. And attractive or are you closer to where Taylor was?

And you tell yourself, you need to shape the fuck up. You're bad, etc. Do you are you closer to where taylor was and you tell yourself like ah you need to shape the fuck up you're bad etc do you think you're more fat or more ugly i think i'm more ugly the more weight i lose i'm like oh there's there's yeah y equals mx plus b dude every once in a while you see a fat guy and you're like, there's a good looking guy under there. And then like you lose weight and you're like, fuck. Still an ugly guy. Did you guys hear me ask Dick?

I'm not sure. I think my internet broke. No, I heard you, but I don't think Dick – I don't think he heard the Dick part. I didn't realize you were asking the question to him. I'm sorry. Yeah, Dick, is your inner dialogue harsh or kind? I don't know.

I don't know if it's harsh. My inner dialogue primarily focuses on, fuck, I should have bought more bonds. And fuck, I should have bought more VOO last year. Fuck, why did I do? It's productive. Yeah, it's basically all that. Why can't i trade stocks like hillary clinton yeah why can't i buy trump virtual trading cards fuck why didn't i buy those trump nfts i could have got a piece of his suit he's selling he's selling pieces of his suit that he got arrested in now for five thousand a square or some shit. It's kind of so bad. I bought them all.

You have to buy 47 or 48 of his trading cards, which works out to something like $4,600. And if you buy that many, then you get a piece of his suit, like Kyle said. That's a steal. You know, it isn't part of me

like, it just fusses at anything trump does you know like oh you silly grifter whatever a part of me is like you know it's only bad if his customers are unhappy and i don't think they are unhappy i bet someone's gonna pay five thousand dollars get a piece of his suit and be like god damn this is just what i wanted so where's the victim right like it's okay yeah so melania's hair i just want to i just three stories of your golden hair yeah you're gonna ask for one but she's going to give you three yeah just like fucking there's no hair there that's how slovenians they're meldovians where's she from one of those hot countries whatever dirty village they dug her out of

yeah tom h' terminal country. The one that went away. I don't know what to make of the whole Slavic whatever. Russian chicks? Dude, in my mind, when I think of a Russian chick who's like, I'll make it up, 27 years old, gorgeous. Gorgeous. Some of the best women

on the planet. But go through this exercise. Picture a Russian chick who's 54. Now you're talking about a babussian chick who's 54 oh now you're talking about a babushka who's 113 pounds overweight and dresses out of the poverty bin at goodwill right that's what happens when you live in one of those industrial cities north of the fucking uh dark zone they live in a toxic wasteland it's like something out of Warhammer 40k, some of those cities. They live in these places where the cancer rate is

six times the norm. All of the major killing diseases are, they just live in a town that... Kyle makes a good point. I think I hear what he's saying. When it comes to Russian women, you rent them. You don't buy them. No, you import them. You import them.

What are you even thinking about 50-year-old women. Like, what a shitty hobby. I'm 50. I look like the last game. You can't help it. You'll be 80 by the time she's 50. Yeah, no 50-year-old women. See, Dick is on board the rent don't buy train too.

Don't tell your girl. I definitely think of like russian eastern european babes as being like tall and blonde but i don't think that they go the hispanic woman route of like being like a five foot three overweight maid you know because they go there is that meme about hispanic girls well there's different yeah there's different within each of those countries, right? Like, Russia's gargantuan, right? So on one part of it, you've got those caucus-dwelling bitches

who came down from the mountains a couple thousand years ago. They got the blue eyes. Five-foot-ten blue eyes, and they look like what you want women to look like. Then you got the Mongolian part of Russia. Yeah, you head out to the Western realms on the Great Steppe, and they start getting all slanty-eyed on you. What does caucus mean?

I don't know the voting thing. Like the Caucasian. The Caucasian mountains. The caucus mountain regions where we came from, Woody. I haven't come from there. Yes, you fucking did.

There ain't nowhere else you could have come from, homeboy. Jersey, Ireland, England, this is my... Where did they come from is the point, though. You know what I mean? Africa. I am African. Me too.

You need to get back to the start, huh? I didn't go back far enough. That's where I'm from. You're so white, you're proud of being African. That's amazing. Yeah, I would think, look at that. Southern, Central, Volga, you know, the natural direction of Volga.

Those three are the areas you probably get. And Northwestern, the hot Russians. Because that's like, that's more close to... That's actually what this map is. It's northwestern. The hot Russians. Because that's more close to... That's actually what this map is. It's a heat map of hot Russians. It is. Those far east ones are some fucking ugly bitches. I said westerner. I meant east when you get to the...

North Caucasian? Is that what that's called? Is that that word? Northwestern? I don't know. It's right under Vulcan oh north caucasian yeah yeah yeah so what happens is i don't make my screen really big so that when i look at you i'm not looking too far off the camera but then that also makes everything very small so even with glasses i'm like oh i need to full screen this shit i guess yeah if white people are coming

from from caucasia whatever the fuck where's where's Hispanic people coming from Dick would know is there like a mountain range I had to listen to I'm sorry the Latinx community yeah yeah thanks thank you uh Hispanic I think Hispanic I think what you mean is where they originally came from from right and they keep learning more about that because they always said that people came over on that Bering land bridge like 10 or 12,000 years ago or whatever when everything was all frozen up. And then everything changed and it went away and people were stuck here in North America. And they thought that from North America, they slowly trickled down to South America. But now the time doesn't add up because they're finding like human bones and remains in South America that date back really far, like I think 16 or 20,000 years.

They found multiple sites. So now they're not really sure when or from where. going across the fucking pacific in some sort of like raft city you know and just making it from i don't know pacific and pacific islands or something like that i mean that's as good as any other theory who knows i'll let you guys in on a little secret mexicans are doing that to fuck with you they're planning all that weird evidence like they tried to do this isn't aliens all that stuff like, moving them around, putting like old vegetable gardens in the middle of the ocean and stuff. We think it's funny.

They get off on that? They're tricking us? Yeah. Look at these stupid gringos. They believe in anything. I made a paper machine alien, and I made it on the news. They love it. Dick, have you ever done one of those ancestry DNA things

to figure out your makeup? I did. Yeah. I think I was just enough Jewish. I was just the right amount of Jewish in the report I got back. Just the right amount. I'd kill to have a little Jew in me. But not too much.

Half of it said that I'm from the middle of Nebraska. And I was like, okay, well, that's my mom, right? That's my mom's half right there. And then the other half was, you know, like half Mexican. But I don't think they really have like a pure Indian DNA sample I read somewhere. That they're kind of just like eyeballing it from a bunch of... Like, yeah, that's Indian. Okay. The rest was like a sixth Indian and a bunch of like yeah that's indian okay it was the rest was like

a sixth indian and a sixth the spanish and then i'm super fucking white everybody was so proud my family when i told them like like like that we had a party it was great you know it's like 99.99 and like the other rally we got a small gathering we got the tiki torches out we sang some songs uh blood and soil you know how it is yeah the fun part was how much neanderthal i am there that was the big to do like like when you do it the website focuses on the thing that like makes you unique or interesting i guess to try to get more money out of you like hey you're like four or five percent neanderthal which means that both of your parents coincidentally are each two or

three percent neanderthal which is very rare i'm like oh fuck yeah like like i might and so now so now i feel like i i feel like neanderthals should be some sort of protected minority because our people were raped and pillaged out of complete existence. No, you're like you're 100 percent Confederate, 5 percent Neanderthal, just a lineage of losers. I'm looking for another woman who's a product of double Neanderthal. And we're going to make some i think if we keep interbreeding we can create some strong proud children if you'd expand your web a little bit cast a wider net i might be your man i also have a lot of neanderthal oh we can combine our sperm spermazoids i hope so with you know through anything is possible. Take the best of mine and the best of yours.

Oh, a super child. Yeah. So my mother had a test done. I don't think it was like 23andMe. It was more like through the hospital or something for just to know what's up. And her measurement came back differently. It's the court system. She wasn't like 4% or 5% Neanderthal.

She was more Neanderthal than like 98 or 99 percent of people so i don't know how that compares to yours but i don't remember either it's been a minute but i i thought that was fun but again that's probably them just making me feel good about sending them spit and then give me sending them spit and 80 and them sending me back a readout like have you seen tell them twice how accurate it would be. Taylor loves shitting on these services by bringing up the dog DNA one, but I bet if I... It was lizard DNA and they got results.

Oh, fuck you, Taylor. Shut up. It's all make-believe, folks. There are things... I won't go on about fish very long, but I keep this coral reef fish tank and there are a bunch of hobby-grade kits that you do on your own, or you can send your water out to ICP, and they test all these weirdo traits. Insane. Violent J loves coral.

You don't need nitrates in your tank, brother! Wow, Dick knows a thing or two. I heard nitrates. Nitrates in your tank, brother! Wow, Dick knows a thing or two. I heard nitrates. Anyway, you send off a sample of your water, and then they tell you all the things in it. They run, like, I'm making it up, 50 tests on it instead of the four or five that I do.

Cool. Well, 50% come. What the hell is that? People send off, like, three tests to, like, trick them, and sure enough, it works. You know, they get, like, oh, you're high in they get like oh you're high in strontium you're okay in it and you're low in it same sample same day you know just sent it to them three times with three different results yeah i wonder if 23andme does better yeah they

definitely change it around i've never sent one in maybe i'll do that i have maybe i'll send one in and gamble on what I am. Here's the thing, though. And this is kind of a weird thing to even consider. But like if like your second cousin did some sort of sexual crime or some crime where they have his DNA, you're being part of this could like out him. Like there have been a lot of killers and rapists who have gotten caught because their cousin got or their son or somebody or their grandson went and got an ancestry DNA for the fuck of it. Now they have his name and DNA, and they're like, boom, it hit in the system. Let's go pick up grandpa.

He's the Green River Rapist. That's happened several times. That's got to stink. So if you've got a sketchy grandpa, wait a few years before getting this thing done. Yeah, if I have a serial killer uncle, I don't want to out him. Maybe he's on a run. Maybe I'll get interviewed when he eventually turns himself in. I had no idea.

I had a vial of spit ready to send in. I could have saved so many lives. Kyle told me not to. Kyle told me not to. If you ever get the hits on your DNA and it's like a girl's name, and you're like, well, I might as well check it out. it's like a girl's name and you're like well i might you know i might as well check it out it's like a tinder notification you know i'm like oh well you know second guys i'll see what's going on here i honestly i honestly didn't care about um like that who i was related

to i wanted to see where my people came from like i wanted to know because because i only know back a couple of generations some people have this big book of fucking ancestor. We ain't got that shit. Mormons know that shit. So being able to have that and be like, oh, yeah, you came over. Your people came over in 1898 to do this in this part of the country. And then he married her and her people came from. And it's like, oh, this is neat.

You know, you get your people's story to some extent for what it's worth i don't know it's i don't know if i would feel a certain way if my people were just like poor cobblers making shoes or if you know we have a lot of american generations kyle i don't remember i don't think so i think we literally can't i think i think it was 1898 or something when my people when my dad's ancestor came over, something like that. Yeah. I'm, I'm mixed on my father's side.

It's very short. Both his parents came from Europe on my mother's side. It goes back forever. She's like a daughter of the revolutionary war or something like that. Like, yeah, literacy. I,

I don't think it's, but she's from Jersey, right? Yeah, I know. I was fucking. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, yeah. yeah so her side goes back but i don't know a ton about it what happens is i had some dead grandparents and it kind of like erased the family's tales yeah yeah um yeah that's that's kind of sad i don't want to turn it in and like realize it's a bunch of fucking losers like what if that's what it is that's what i was saying would it bother you if you're

here's the thing would you rather look back and see that god my people ain't been worth a shit for 400 years or would you rather look back and see that until three generations ago the tailors were running shit yeah we we were hooked up with the medici and italy the pope owed us things and it was taken from us by those franks which would you pick that would almost be worse because it'd be like oh fuck the fallen empires were were were tooting around on sicily or something and then the other ones were in the UK. They were a Duke, a Duchess, some shit like that. More likely than not though.

Like every single person you talk to about this ancestry thing is related to someone like I'm 16 generations down from George Washington's wife. And it's like, there is no fucking way. Everyone has an interesting story. I'm sorry. There's just not. Like, most peoples are boring as shit, right?

Like, statistically, that has to be the way it is. And so when everyone... There's a lot of interesting people, and their descendants go really far. Like, the Genghis Khan thing is the first one I'm thinking of. What is it? Something like 20% of the population has his DNA in him? Yeah. Something wild like that.

In Asia. In Asia. Not like us. I don't know know i speak with very low confidence on these things so maybe just asian is that big well there's a lot of people in asia you know it's pretty true yeah big percentage in any case like who's to say taylor doesn't have wild bill hickok in his you know somewhere in the past there's a lot of like second rate celebrities that must have i'll check my brother brother sent 23 and me in a couple years ago,

and the reason I don't have that much confidence in it is they literally sent him unrequested, an updated version where they're like, hey, oops, you're more Italian and less French and less this and more that. And so I'm like, all right, I don't think you know that much about what's going on. A little bit of guesswork there. But maybe I'll send it in. That would be neat.

I'll ask him if we just send it from anyone famous. You want a little Wild Bill in you, Taylor? I'd like that. I'd like someone fun. Wild Bill. Hickok. Would it change your attitude? Would you take less shit?

Dude, I'd show up on the next show in a cowboy hat. I'd totally... I'd have a stick shooter, a cowboy hat. I'd start chewing tobacco. This is Ancestry in Africa. It gets all of the dashikied out and shit. You'd score up with spurs. Dial up the racism meter.

Have a spittoon. That'd be good. I'd like that. grandma um uh the white people in our half of the family came from like germany and my grandma's uh grandpa or something like that way back so they would have a family reunion every year when my grandma was little and they would to honor their ancestor because they're mexican um they would a piñata out of the white ancestor that came over and married the Indian woman. So it would be, she had about, she had like 20 brothers and sisters.

So it'd be a mob of little brown people beating the shit out of a white man piñata every year at the family reunion. But it was out of love. It was out of love, yeah. Yeah, that sounds really good sounds is that fun to go back and visit your mexican family because i imagine you're towering over the whole family right no they're all tall because of that guy that one guy brought uh this norwegian dna or

whatever it was so the whole like my whole mexican side of my family's super tall you know i i was we're shitting on it so i logged into mine to see like what I thought. It's got my dad's fucking school pictures in here from when he was a child. Never seen this before. It's wild. Well, that's pretty neat. This is like grade school photos.

Like he's like 10. That's why any, any good people in the, in the history, if you scroll down or back, however you do it, I'm trying to learn how to navigate the site did you come from any famous norwegians or mexicans dick that you know of

are there any there's some famous mexicans mexicans i came from all those oh yeah you came from the winners of the alamo yeah yeah yeah do they remember the alamo davy crockett that guy was my grandpa. Fuck that. Yeah, Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone. I was obsessed with them for a stretch as a kid. Fashion icons. Yeah. Collateral. I used to go out in the woods

with a coonskin hat on and pretend to be Davy Crockett on my grandparents' lawn. I told you, fashion icons. They were. They were fashion icons. I went along to some site and see my dad at 10 years old. That's kind of a Ratatouille moment. I need to be surprised by that. Do they remember the Alamo even more fondly in Mexico?

Because it was like a win. It was the beginning of the end. What are you talking about that that's like asking the taliban how they remember 9-11 well at first oh they probably remember it like i bet they've got like like when they lay down they've got a nine a two towers poster like on their ceiling like they're like like reminiscing on the good old days for them that's probably what it's similar with the the alamo we remember it because it was valiant but we lost they would remember it like those fucking idiots are celebrating a loss

we dominated them wasn't it 100 men holding out against like two to five thousand mexicans uh i don't know santa anna like leading them and like he kept asking to surrender and they know and he killed him to a man, because it took like, they defended the place for longer than was. Holding out against a couple thousand people is only impressive if those people are really trying. I have a feeling that was a siege

tactic, and they're like, you know, there's no food coming in there. How dare you rewrite the Alamo? No, I've read this. Woody's right. Yeah, yeah. This is how it happened maybe. Especially in front of the Mexican. This is absurd. This is like having an Arab over here and you're like, yeah,

9-11 was inside job. There's no way 2,000 people simultaneously charged at this place and they held out. They would win. It was a mission. So they just waited. They would win. It was a mission. So they just needed them out. They think they're being brave, but really they're being smart. How many did they kill, Zach? What was the KD ratio on the

Texans? 400 to 600 Mexicans killed. Come on. That's like a 2 KD. I mean, it's good. That's absurd. I get those games all the time. And those are all like American heroes. And then, of course, they use that as a rallying cry to steal a big chunk of mexico you know do you guys have been brave in the alamo like if you were in there i think i would have been like we got to get out

of here like yeah listen to that guy yeah this is fucking terrible i don't want to die for this like godforsaken mud hut we're defending you know don't know the answer. I hope I'd be brave. Dude, I'd be like fighting back the other Alamo fighters trying to raise the Mexican flag. Trying to get us out of this mess. Give me the Mexico! Shaving a mustache in.

Putting on my poncho. Trying to pass. Trying to pass. You're good at accents. You be hey i i've just been a double agent the whole time and they're like kill this guy he's over five four like we know he's not a real mexican because he's not from that giant masterson family that the norwegian guy fucked into now i went to mexico city and mexico city is very crowded and you could see, I don't know, like 2000 people at the same time.

Like I was taller than all of them. There wasn't a person in sight that was over six foot. That's nice. When you go into a public establishment and you're like, tallest guy here. Nice. You got to travel. Get yourself the Dominican Republic. You'll be a giant. Dominican Republic?

I'm sorry? Have you been to Japan? Yes. This is like a whole other level. Even going to the bathroom, like you get an Airbnb and the beds are tiny, the ceiling's tiny. Going into the bathroom makes you feel like one of the Muppets. They stick in the back.

I'm gonna get my dick out before i go in here when did you go to mexico dick or i'm sorry uh japan uh a long time ago 2019 right before covid hit it's like four years ago that was like a lifetime ago in cultural things like yeah yeah i would love to go to japan that's super fun like that's not that's a vacation the uh like i would not let myself go to japan overweight at all i would need i would need to be a good representation of an american and the last thing if i went to japan and i was fat there you just know that they'd be walking around like oh he bring a great dishonor they would love that the men are fat can we go to one of the i thought no one was fat can we go one of the sex countries that allow felons uh is that not japan they don't they're not cool no i bet they're very tight on crime stuff but they're very uncool about felons how about thailand thailand or the republic of the place i feel

like the thais would mix it up with a guy like me they'd be down they've got beaches it's basically just japan but shittier see i don't want any part of the beaches but but you know there's like prostitution and drugs right i want to smoke some of that chinese opium you see them smoking in the in the westerns when they break out the pipe and like hand it to the val kilmer or whatever and i want that curly go on a trip with you to to Japan where we both ruin our lives by getting addicted to opium. No, no, Thailand. Dominican Republic and Thailand will both let you in, Kyle. I Googled it.

Yeah, but I don't think the Dominican Republic has that old school Chinese opium from the Wild West that you can smoke out of one of those pipes. I don't know about opium, but I can tell you we didn't realize when we did a couple surfing vacations there. And the sex tourism in Dominican Republic apparently is second only to Thailand. And like on the first time we were going, my friend sat next to a stranger on the plane and he finished that flight with so many fucking stories the guy there the guy that he was sitting next to was there for a sexcation and he would just laying out like the whole landscape of like how to get girls etc etc so it opened my eyes to this every time we ate half the restaurants were full with like overweight-year-old men and smoking hot 21-year-old girls.

And I'm like, that is not a natural. They were hot girls. Hot girls. Are they like dark skin down there in the Dominican Republic? So the Dominican Republic has no...

I'm aware, but I'm wondering just how... I feel like they're very in the Dominican Republic. The Dominican Republic has no... DR is in Asia. I'm aware, but I'm wondering. I feel like they're very dark in the Dominican Republic, though. Darker than Puerto Rican people. They are. I've been there. I think that's a lie. I've been there. I have been to the Dominican Republic. Oh, have you? I'm sorry. I thought you were goofing. I apologize.

No, I disagree, though. They're not any one particular race and that was like a big thing like they don't have a race dominican republic just another melting pot success story more like a salad bowl like they look like everything yeah i mean it was they had nice beaches that's the only thing i experienced there i was like a kid on vacation so anywhere with no horrors me no i didn't fuck any horrors when i was like a kid on vacation so anywhere with me no i didn't fuck any whores when i was 11 in the dominican republic i saw people banging on the so you probably had the same mustache yeah i probably did you're like the third tallest guy

in every room at 11 yeah i i was surfing and the current drifted me down a few blocks so like you know i eventually came in and walked back. While I did, there was a couple just fucking on the beach wide open. Everyone was like, oh my god, oh my god. I'm like, yeah. Nobody helped her, huh? I'm pretty sure she was enthusiastic consent.

Oh. I don't speak that weird language they have. She kept screaming, no, no. I don't know what weird language they have. Shut up. She kept screaming, no, no. I don't know what that is in their language. Shouldn't mean anything. Shouldn't mean fucking anything. She was screaming something about kelp, I think.

Kelp, kelp. Kelp, kelp. I know. You love the beach. Shut up. We're all trying to enjoy our day. Would you be stressed going to Thailand for your sexcation, Kyle? Isn't that going to be just a tinderbox of dangerous STDs?

Isn't the world a tinderbox of dangerous STDs? I imagine it being not as dangerous here, but that could be familiar. Most things, I feel like nowadays, most diseases either already have them, or there's a pill that will prevent them, or you can fix it with penicillin. There's really no in-between ground. I guess there's what's that awful shit that ruins your liver? Hepatitis.

You can get Hep C, but I feel like that's a real grungy kind of disease. I think that it's expensive, but I think they can't... That's mostly used for venous... Now that you mention it, I think they came up with a pill not too long ago for Hep C,

but it used to be like you needed a liver. Uh, Hep C is needles and yeah, it's usually needles and like, like drug use stuff. That's what I think of with Hep C, but yeah, no,

I don't think I'd be scared. Like, like, I mean, if you're fucking prostitutes, you're fucking prostitutes, right? Yeah.

I guess you've already reconciled that in your head on the flight. Ah, these dirty prostitutes here, not like back home. Classy gals, everyone. No one gets to Thailand and is like, I think their mind is made up. You're right. They're like,

I'm going to find a nice Thai lady to fuck, or they're going there. What else do you do in Thailand? Ladyboy. Drugs. Drugs and the beach. I would want. Really?

I would want all. I would want all the legal drugs that they had there. I'd want to like a shopping bag with like whatever they're like strong hash or whatever is. And they've got like, oh, I don't know if opium is legal there. Some of those countries you can go in the drugstore andstore and buy opiates that I would think of as recreational drugs if I were on a trip like that. I'll do some Xanax if I'm in another country. Singapore's good for that.

You should go. Singapore. They don't let you spit over there. People are holding their farts everywhere in Singapore. Walking around afraid somebody's got a thermal goggle going to see it. That's a scary

place. I like those rules in Singapore. Good for them. Taylor, you wouldn't like those rules. A bug flies in my mouth. I spit. I'm being caned in public. That would be shitty. Would you want to be caned though just to

show them what pussies they are? Yeah, I could buy a t-shirt that says, like, I was caned in Singapore City. Giving a thumbs up. I went to Singapore and all I got are these lousy scars. How bad could it hurt? Have you guys ever been caned for fun? All right, so I know a little bit about this. I knew you would.

I'm ready, Kyle. So back in the early 90s, an American, I think, was over in Singapore, and he went around spray painting cars and walls, and in particular, damaging cars. He would tear off the hood emblems. And apparently in Singapore, just to be able to purchase a car, you've got to get a car purchasing license. And it's like a quarter million dollars in their money to them.

It's absurd to have a car. Every car you see it's like my god what an investment this kid fucked up a whole row of them so they're like all right you get caned that's the punishment for this and i think at first it might have been maybe a half dozen maybe even a dozen whacks and clinton got involved and i think they they moved it down to maybe three swats with the cane but if you look at a picture of what that cane looks like, they're not fucking around. This isn't like, tickle my butthole with a feather kind of bullshit.

This is like medieval times. Recreationally, right. It's like a piece of bamboo that's been split long ways. And it looks to me like when it hits you, it'll pinch. Like all those little segments will pinch together. It'll pinch on the butt? Come on.

I don't know what it's supposed to fucking do, but I know that that kid deserved the ass-whooping he took, and Clinton shouldn't have even gotten involved. Let him whoop his ass. Yeah, one of Clinton's biggest mistakes. I wasn't a fan of Mogadishu. I felt like we really should have put the hammer down. That's Black Hawk down.

That's all I know about that. Wait, that is what that's from, right? That's that's all i know about that yeah wait that is what that's from right that's exactly yeah okay thank god that would have been a big old swing and a miss yeah i wouldn't want to be caned in public those guys swing with their their fucking lower bodies they're not like wrapping you like a catholic school how did they do in the baseball world series they didn't they didn't even place right look at that little guy yeah and they're mad about it they're mad about it they got something to prove when they come up to the plate but they're not doing it out of anger they put they give you a shot yeah

but look right at your asshole the fact they're giving you a kidney protecting pad means they're swinging away they're they're fucking, yeah, like the end of, I'm reading about this thing. Kyle, uh, dude, it is something else.

So there were four strokes. If I were, if I'm on the right case and every time they hit him, he had to count it out. The only one. And then he hit him too. So he handed out, um, he said he couldn't sit for a couple of days,

but otherwise he's fine. His crimes were a little more than Kyle led on to. It wasn't just hood emblems and shit. Dude stole a bunch of road signs, but here's the kicker. He stole a telephone booth. Oh, wow.

The whole thing? They found it in his possession. It's like sneaking away with the whole thing like Wile E. C possession. It's bigger on the inside. It's like sneaking away with the whole thing, like Wile E. Coyote. How do you steal that? Is it Doctor Who? You drag it? Hold on.

Just the loudest stealing operation of all time. Just the grating of the bottom over the coffee. They found 50 stolen items, including a telephone booth and road signs. What a prankster. That is high risk, low reward behavior. I don't know. I'd like a telephone booth and road signs. What a prankster. That is high-risk, low-reward behavior. I don't know. I'd like a telephone booth. Not Singapore.

That's not where you go for fun. But I do think that somewhere like Thailand or whatever, it seems like a magnet of just dirty fun, right? That seems like a good time. Philippines. I bet the Philippines would be a good time. It's just a bunch of islands. I don't frankly know how they differ in geography or in behavior.

It's like the Mexico of Asia I've heard it described as. Oh, of course, Filipinos. That's where they're from. Yes. I never make the connection in my head. I just picture the women. Yeah. So we could go there, do whatever Philippines drugs are offered.

Wow. Probably not good good shit when are we going when is our you gotta get my passport from the marshals i'm gonna tell you they still have it those sons of bitches can't they just mail it back to you at this point well it's expired now but i think if you have your old one it's easier to get it's so much easier to get another passport if you have i don't want to go back up there and have to go through the because they're going to ask me if i have any aliases and i can't lie do you have a social do you have your social security card do you have like your actual card and your birth certificate because if you have those two things it's not so big i i had my birth certificate on my desk and i did that thing where you're trying

to tear up some like trash to make it smaller but I accidentally grabbed the birth certificate on the bottom and I like I saw it and I'm talking about my original printed with color ink embossed certificate embossed yes it came right like they did back then no this is mid-80s documentation did this because they didn't let women be notaries back then it was too important a job and and i tore it half but it's not ruined but it's torn in half which i feel like this life takes away from its legitimacy when i present it to people now but just tape it up i'm gonna tape it up i keep looking at it and just i get bummed out and i walk out of the room you gotta rip it up more before you tape it up. I keep looking at it and I get bummed out and I walk out of the room. You got to rip it up more before you tape it up or else it will look weird.

It's going to look weird no matter what. Say you were robbed. Yeah. They said this is MAGA country. They poured bleach on me and poured my birth certificate. You believe me, right? This is Biden country. And then they kicked me they bullied

me you know juicy just tried to have some kind of an appeal on his his uh uh juicy smoliette uh smoliette um that that that former uh actor who claimed that those two racists attacked him in the streets of frigid chicago in the early morning hours and shouted, this is MAGA country before tying a noose around his neck, beating him and pouring bleach on him. They were really prepared. They had a lot of accessories. They didn't take his signature, though. That was nice. But it turned out it was these two gay

Nigerian brothers that he had some sort of a quasi-fringe sexual relationship with that he convinced to get in on this whole fake crime to drum up you know oh i'll be all over the media i can get a get some of that me too uh stuff and get some political stuff i'll get a new show and and now he's in prison with a p with a fucking p is he really going to jail he's gone he's been gone he's been he appealed and tried to get it like thrown out um but oh there

was a prison what was his crime i mean lying crime the fuck it is when you lie to the police yeah lying to the police is a crime i mean they lie to us you can't lie i'm actually curious about this you can't lie to the police? I know you can't lie in court. Like, I'm familiar with perjury. This is up Dick's wheelhouse. I know for sure if you lie to a federal agent,

and I mean, he can ask you, you know, where were you today? And if you lie to him, you have committed a crime. I'm 98% sure on that one. Now, I don't know about a cop and whatever. He's like, where were you today? Like, fuck you. I was at your mother's house.

I don't think you've committed a crime at all i don't think you do anything to you but he filed a false police report he went down this like come to me i've been i'm a victim help me he's going to the hospital he's got detectives and there was a manhunt and a media showdown and people are going to the mayor why how are you going to make this city safe for blacks again chicago yeah i don't know we have to get rid of all the uh yeah well then there wouldn't be any but uh yeah what do you say dude chicago is a hub of white nationalism ask anyone they gave him some time and i saw him being sentenced and him he made this big scene shouting and screaming and they drug him away it was beautiful but yeah who would have thought he'd be dramatic yeah the guy who hired dude if i was

gonna fake that crime i'm not hiring two gay nigerians to be my hitman I'm finding like the rootinest tootinest good boy I can find on fiverr and I'm paying him to do it like there's he was doomed from the start you don't even have to pay him just like do a sale and when he shows up just pretend you're somebody else right and antagonize him that's good and then it wouldn't technically be lying what did he need I don't even I never really understood why he needed those gentlemen like I guess they roughed him up a little maybe but but that never made sense to me either because like you can pay people to rough you up yeah you know legally without getting a whole thing and it wasn't rough he wasn't if i recall he wasn't roughed up enough to be believable like if i am paid if kyle pays me to rough him up in a similar circumstance and i give him like an

open-handed slap that like and i like didn't trim my nails so it scratches him and then he's like that's enough we got it like and then he goes i just imagine this bullshit i'm like i need to beat the shit out of him i give you i hand you like 500 or whatever and the first year you're ready i'm like yeah all right do And you just punch me in the guts. I'm like, no, what are you doing? You kick me in the knee. I'm just beating you with a bag of oranges and a phone book. Like, I'm the absolute worst injuries that don't leave marks.

The opposite of what I want, yeah. Yeah, that's what I would do. Have you ever seen Dirty Harry, the old Clint Eastwood movie? No. He finds the evil rapist killer, but because he used his bad methods the guy gets out scot-free and uh and so so that guy pays someone the bad guy pays this other guy to beat the shit out of him and so he just i mean he's like crippled and i like a full body cast and stuff he's like and he blames it on callahan i can't imagine if

you were going to do that, wouldn't you just beat yourself? I'd do it smarter. I'd intentionally fall down a flight of stairs. I'd do something like that. Like unpredictable injuries. You fall down a flight of stairs, we don't know what could happen. You might never get up. I'll fall down and

I'll put a helmet on. You'd lose your pregnancy. What if you break your arm like like burke christ you're like all burnt or bent around behind you or was that the other one yeah i'm pulled up under the basketball hoop i i think if we're faking injuries we want a little at a time we don't want to just roll the dice jump down the stairs i mean okay well then i would you should have gotten like a ufc gym in disguise and got in a fight yes himself white like damon wayans and the white chicks and then got in a fight with somebody there i'm gonna wear like a like an i'm with her shirt to a ufc gym and be like it's my first day you

fucking pussies and then see how it goes i'd leave there beat the shit it'd be great they wouldn't i don't know how you do against a real man i'm a street fighter yeah yeah i would i'd be talking it up i'd be like i'm an expert in kembo like i'm an energy man you can't stop all right come on local idiot killed today at this is how that would fucking end it's like jesse smollett's end game was oh by the way i looked it up 150 days uh is his sentence plus two and a half years probation i would imagine he was going for attention and to like make people that he hated look bad yeah like kind of like there's like do you remember there was this is like many years ago but it was it was another one that came out as a hoax or it was like some guy spray-painted swastikas in a cemetery like a jewish cemetery and they are like

they showed pictures on the news not one of these swastikas was drawn correctly. It was angled up in diamonds. It's like, my God, I think Nazis would know. I bet Nazis are real good at firing out some swastikas. That's probably what they're great about. You don't know how to make one? I think the top left starts down. I actually don't remember what direction it goes, but I would get

it. Amateur. You want to show it with your stencil. You stencil it on. I'm going to look it up. I just hide it on your stencil directly yeah you stencil it on i'm gonna look it up and then there was one on your hand right you could write one in advance like on your on your other hand you hold your hand up and memorize it then there was this uh around the same time there was this white guy who clearly spray painted on his own driveway this white dude he called the news and he was like, it's getting out of control here.

Just look at my driveway. And it said, blacks rule. And I was like, there is a 0% chance a gang of black guys, as this guy is claiming, showed up and were like, blacks rule, man. Look at it. He put a period at the end all of it was like not even on his real driveway it was on like the public sidewalk below it very calculated so he's it's like dude you're fucking faking this no one does that well he's lucky with those swastikas

that he didn't get you know invaded and destroyed day after day you know we were talking about how hard the israelis Israelis were going a month ago, and they're still going. They slowed down for three or four days there and swapped hostages. Reloaded. They're going so hard. I have seen these groups of Palestinian

men, I'm going to say a hundred in a... All on the other, like, sitting Indian-style feathers, not dots. They're in a all on the other like uh like sitting indian style uh feathers not dots and and they're like in a formation all like tied up and bagged and gagged and there's like israeli command all around it's like what what are they gonna do with all those they're in their underwear or less right that's the pictures i've seen different pictures i and i think it's because

they're rounding up all the men and i don't know where the women and children are they're dead they've been going hard there already for a hundred buildings dick what do we need to do about this situation over there what do we got to do how do we fix oh the middle east uh do we stay out of it stop giving a shit as soon as somebody starts talking like oh shit that's over that's way over there i don't give a shit dude that's where i am on israel for real like i have i've tried to pick a side like a joke yeah i agree with you partly like sure the palestinians went a little too hard on october 7th hot take there um but it's a retaliation for decades of not quite as hard

but also hard treatment towards the palestinians now the israelis are going too hard and i'm just like everybody sucks here i don't want to be involved yes we shouldn't be involved the the middle east has not been good to us we just keep firing money over there and it's like what are we getting out of this a whole bunch of nothing i think we stole a lot of oil taylor i think that all those years we still buy it we buy it from saudi arabia there's a bunch of natural gas under pal under gaza too that i'm sure uh israeli government we need that yeah our our other our subsidiary government um i hate the israeli government i don't think i hate them as much as the u.s government um if i had to rank u.s

government israeli government hamas i don't know really if i could say you have a hard time sorting them yeah it's tough i'm like man who's fucked me most recently i did just have to pay taxes so i'm gonna have to rank you guys uh i'm honest you caused a bunch of really annoying news cycles but then you just paid taxes the israeli government comes in and uh shows like a gay marriage proposal happening on gaza like uh or voldemort looking at his phone and going like oh my god i've never seen did you see that the wait did they really really fucking account. If that doesn't radicalize you against Israel, I don't know what would. A guy of Voldemort looking at his phone going, oh, and the tagline is, if you want to see the horrors of Hamas, go to like Hamashorrors.com. And it was a Google website that was already broken when they posted this picture.

Look at this shit. The Israeli government's posting this shit. So I don't know how you can support this with a clear conscience. Obviously, I don't support. I mean, what is terrorism exactly, right? Like marketing against a poor country. But look at this. Look at this.

Why don't you explain to me what you don't like about this? Because what I see is them just really hammering down how evil Hamas and their behavior was. And for the Israeli point of view, they don't like that, for example, that UN organization that deals with sex crimes and war. They're like, why aren't you talking up about October 7th? Why is our crimes not being talked about? They feel like they're being ignored. crimes not being talked about. They feel like they're being ignored.

Their side of the story is that they censored the more hardcore evidence, footage, whatever you want to call it, initially because it was their citizens being raped and stripped and tortured. Israel's already committed like six October 7th

I mean, if you allow Baltimore, who's next? Oscar the Grouch? They're going to put like a... It's time to take out the trash. 6 October. If you allow Baltimore, who's next? Oscar the Grouch? It's time to take out the trash. How many Pearl Harbors did we cast out upon Japan? Hundreds, right? When it comes to America,

I view them through a biased lens. America is only good because they're my team. Man, what are you, fucker? Who's your CIA handler saying shit like that? Who the fuck is my team? Are you on? Does America let you put a high-flow showerhead in your house?

I don't think so. Missouri does. You can do it yourself. You pull the thingy out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do that in hotels i swear when i go to a hotel i swear to god i i service you're performing for everyone else there's an adjustable wrench in my luggage i swear to god i unscrew that bitch i pull it out i put it back

together every fucking time i i swear i cannot stand that drippy liberal ass shower. That's why they're all so sour. They're dirty. It's awful. You've got to clean your shower once in a while. You love America. I have I'm like the token liberal on this show. I shower in a

car wash every day. I have four shower heads going on me. I have three, no four exhaust fans in my bathroom and it can't keep up i have to i have to turn the radiator on the mirror so that it doesn't fog up because of the huge amount of water the mirror radiator yeah we've all we've all been there the mirror radiator is amazing and it's not that expensive It's like $200 or something for that mirror Yeah I see what you're saying I don't like the AIs of like

Movie characters For real life conflicts It's just there's something about it That like this is weird You're using Voldemort The same way like The US Marines using like Captain America

Do you remember World War 2 the same way like the US Marines using Captain America you wouldn't like it if it was Star Wars do you remember World War 2 when Mickey Mouse was getting out the war bonds when Donald Duck was fucking showing him how how old do you think I am? I don't remember World War 2 I'm talking about the cartoons where you're like I don't like

are they using Voldemort on modern conflicts? yeah like they did in the 40s and the 30s. Yeah, that was lame too. Remember to buy your bonds. Those bonds saved the world. That was important. Buy a bond so Jerry can give them hell.

No, you get the Jerry's hell. Give whatever. Did you guys see the Israeli woman that was trying to get her husband's sperm out of his balls when he was dead? I saw that and I thought it was made up. Is that real? No, Israel animated it. They made the same account animated this like this like quest that this woman had to extract semen from her husband's balls so she could have another kid with them like they always wanted.

If only she didn't have like a bunch of headaches leading up to this conflict. another kid with them. Like they always wanted. She didn't have like a bunch of headaches leading up to this conflict. It's not an isolated thing. Like she's not unique in this. They have a program for doing this. I don't know about the case you're talking about, but there is an Israeli like program for,

for like going and getting the sperm out of dead soldiers and getting it to their family. That and their sperm bank. No, not their sperm bank. Their skin bank. Do you know about the skin bank? You told me about the skin bank. Apparently, they have the world's largest collection of human skins.

When you ask them where they get the skins, they use them for burns from their soldiers. It's like, where do you get all the skins? They're like, oh what yeah oh wow and where are the sources kyle palestine you can't do those dna tests in israel why not really i thought they'd like want to make sure you were jewish before you moved there well you funny thing, Taylor, you're right to ask. You're right to think something like that, Taylor. But as it turns out, it's quite possible that they might not have a genetic link to the area.

And it's just up to a governing body to say, yeah, you Jewish. Come on in. That's one theory I've seen floating for why that's like being a knight. Can they can they take out like a bunch of money and go, I dub you a Jew? They magically raise your credit score the one dollar bill gun and go i didn't know it went to four digits oh my god yes most whites don't all right you're in the money cyclone machine a hundred dollars and you're in a whole nother tier of credit scores that non-jews don't know about. It was a reverse test.

Had you been athletic enough to get the 100, we'd know it wasn't a lie. Yeah, I guess you're right. So you don't think that a blonde-haired, blue-eyed Jewish person descended from the Palestinian-Israeli region, Dick? The Semitic region? I mean, I don't know. I'm no botanist or whatever. I don't know anything, man.

I just know what I can and can't do. And I can't have a fucking high flow shower like Woody who's cracked the case by having four showers instead of one. The reason you can't have that is because apparently California is worse than I could have ever imagined. Yeah, you should come here, Woody,

and see what your liberalness does in the long run? I'm living in LA where we have train robberies. My friend lives in New York city and I'm trying not to dox him, but he works in an industry that is just very liberal here. I'll write it to you, but I don't want to dox him. Child trafficking, child trafficking,

gay sex, gay porn production. So, so he works in a really, really liberal industry, and it's made him pretty conservative. Like, he just has a hard time putting up with their bullshit every day. Almost everyone he works with is either female or gay or both. And it just, like, the way they accost him if he doesn't have his mask on right or something like that, it's too much. Meanwhile, I'm here in North Carolina being like, liberals aren't so bad, but I'm not exposed to the kind of people that he works with. I'm exposed to people like me who I can deal with.

Have we all rubbed shoulders with the far right before? We've seen those guys, right? It's like, man, I'm down for most of this. y'all got a cool place here and everything but oh the flags and the uniforms i don't know do i have to march you have to call it goose stepping like like they need a guy to come in and soften a lot of those edges they're like guys these swastikas you lost you're a loser yeah the confederate flags the nazi thought you're fucking losers you lost you're right though the extremes of either side are hard to get along with they are but i think no no no no to get along with see that's where i disagree okay it's it's easy for

us to get along with the far right because that's my thing like i keep i whenever i'd rub shoulders with those scary people who you know have compounds and are part of militias it's like man they really seem to like me they treat me well they love the Russians they pay me to be here they seem like nice people to me but I know that

it wouldn't be nice if I weren't the color I am I guess or didn't sound the way I do maybe if you weren't an out and out gun guy guess, or didn't sound the way I do, maybe. If you weren't an out-and-out gun guy who's had a tuffle or a tiff with the government. I kind of agree. Who's the black gun guy? Is it Colin?

Colin. Yeah. I bet he'd do great there. Yeah. I imagine just being into guns and that shit would mean more, but I don't know. Yeah, unless you've gone all the way to the segment of far right that's actual Klansmen and white supremacists if you go to like uh neo-nazis like like obviously

they're probably not down with oh we lost your audio you got muted but while kyle fixes because you were getting too real most of the races that i've encountered in real life have exceptions for the good ones you know that's how they would say it yeah yeah i would imagine so i i don't think i've ever been adjacent to like an actual nazi someone who's like oh yeah that yeah that's what i'm all about bro and it's like like i i just i'm sure they're out there i just haven't met any before just like i've never met like a real like tanky Stalinist now is like Antifa. I hear about Antifa all the time.

Like they're everywhere. I've literally never encountered an Antifa person in real life. They don't come to Missouri, but you don't live in a major city, right? Like if you, if you lived in downtown Atlanta, you would see them probably.

How dare you come to Atlanta? If you want to see some of these like ridiculous groups when they shut down whole like four-way intersections and like burn shit in the street for the fuck of it that's this that's where they uh they tried to storm cop town or whatever they called it and the cops killed one of them uh you know a few months ago they're building some police training facility and this huge group of i don't know what the fuck they are anymore um like wanted to protest a police training facility trust me atlanta needs more police so during the matter protests raleigh had trouble right you know people came broke too many windows etc but those weren't like skinny white protesters they were legit gangsters like people who deal drugs there's too many murders in raleigh and they're typically the same like angry group of people murdering each other

trying to get yourself out of trouble i don't know if i'm following those are the people who broke the windows. They weren't like, you know, skinny white. Fucking Amish. Now I don't see race, but these groups that are always attacking. Like, Dick, where you're at

because you're in L.A., are there like, we, like the Michael Brown shit, like St. Louis had a bunch of the BLM riots a few years ago. But like as far as like real deal commies, are they they're really out there where you are, right? Like there's real deal ones like who are. Yeah, Stalin. Of course, there are a lot of them are up in Portland. But the people who are I guess the people who are too good looking for Portland and San Francisco kind of failed down to LA and just get,

get addicted to fentanyl and prostitution down and skid skid row has taken over all of downtown. Uh, the tent cities here. I always wish. In fact, I always imagine you doing this Taylor having like a, uh,

Richard Attenborough, like homeless, like the home going through each city and documenting the whole series on documenting wild homelessness because of all the of all the shows the live shows i've done over the years every city's homeless is like a little bit different they all have their own little tricks and like do you remember do you remember the bomb hunter the bomb hunter you sent me a video a long time ago these guys know about the bum hunter but dick you need to know since you don't know this little bit of internet history it's pre-internet

i had the vhs i rented the shit so this this was a spin-off of bum fights those those vhs you'd rent back in the day and this guy dressed up like steve irwin and he had a passing resemblance to steve irwin i swear he had the shorts, you know, the short khakis. And he put on the Australian accent, I'm sure. He's like, all right, here we are in the weiss of Los Angeles. And they stalk sleeping homeless people. And they pounce upon them, restrain them, and start. And I swear to God, these homeless people are screaming, Get off of me!

And he's like, Hey, he's a big buck here! Hey, I don't... You'll never believe what he's doing right now. Obviously tape. The man's already restrained. He's about to measure the circumference of that man's skull with that white tape measure.

And when he does, he tells his assistant, and the assistant notes the data it is our homeless are like fucking militarized now exactly oh yeah you'd get killed right away doing that to a modern homeless yeah if i watched it now i probably think it was sad but i was 17 when I rented that VHS tape, and I thought it was awesome. I feel like you could pull that in, I imagine,

Portland or Seattle homeless. Steve Urban was his name. That's very funny. We just had a bunch of freeway guys. I don't know if you guys have these. They shut down our major freeway downtown, the Palestinian protesters. So so for me that was like all right now hamas is back on top yeah freeways then nuke it before i was like killing

too many kids that's a big problem but gluing yourself to a freeway shutting down a freeway inconveniencing everyone no no wipe it out uh it's punishment um we have tankies like that commies like that and then we always have um we always have them flying in like they're always they're obviously being paid um we have that level of uh of anarch of communist here can you see yourself leaving like getting out of la at any point or no i don't know that stuff you guys were saying about Thailand with the hookers and the drugs. That sounded pretty good. Um,

they got internet. A friend of mine just moved to, to North Carolina and he loves it. Um, yeah. And you gigantic house, uh, fully connected sewer line,

which I don't have. Uh, so I don't know. Maybe, maybe. I mean, you get baked, but you get sewage anywhere. jesus christ this is a low bar we're swinging at well you know kyle the realtor it said public sewer on my mls but wouldn't you know seven years later when i have somebody come check out my sewage they find out that uh not only is there no sewer not only is it not connected to the

septic tank and that in front of my house that's been dry for 30 years which was the ultimate psych out well yeah you must be connected to the sewer because the sewage because the septic tank has been dry for 30 years so obviously it's connected to the sewer yeah uh here here's the report that you just paid 700 for for like a private sewage inspection okay you shouldn't have any problems with that, sir. Here you go. Go ahead and buy the house with no reservations. As it turned out,

they just disconnected it from the septic tank for no reason and then dumped it into a giant hole, which they call a shit pit. So I literally live on a big pile of shit. What do you call it? So this is in your yard? That DWP has been charging me a monthly sewage

fee for using for eight years. So a number of people to make me think that they have this stupid idea that I was connected to the sewer line. Man, I've never even heard of any shit like that. Have you smoked weed, though? No. man i've never even heard of any what a shit heard of any shit like that but if i were gonna

do you smoke weed though like you can do it somewhere i i only do cocaine because it calms me down yeah i call the city and say hey you guys have been charging me like uh uh 40 bucks for eight nine years since i moved in here for a public sewer that's not connected and not only that there no permit was ever pulled i don't know why the fucking sewage line guy didn't notice that no permit was ever pulled but it's irrelevant i asked him by the way i said hey shithead uh i pulled up the email of his report hey shithead uh not only was the inspection bad but there is no sewer line he goes well that's and there's no permit and he goes well that's common up where you live um so okay well is it common where you don't have a sewer so i said hey city you've been charging me uh whatever bucks a month for eight years and so i've paid you 11 grand

for uh sewage that i don't have that has been for nothing right and the guy goes uh oh yeah uh well here's this form you can fill out uh and then in a couple months, the charge will stop. And if we determine that you're right, that you don't have a sewage line, we'll give you a credit. A credit? Oh, free sewage for life! I got a credit for $11,000?

What the fuck am I going to use? Can I give that to somebody else? Can you hand those out? What the fuck am I going to do with $11,000 of free shit? That is hilarious. Where is your shit pit? Like, did you not notice there was a shit pit somewhere in your house? No, I didn't notice that there's a big shit pit.

You said in your living room? Where is your shit pit? I don't know. I don't know where it is. I hope it's under somebody else's house. Do you not know where the doo-doo goes when you flush the toilet? Is it like those old castles where they've just got a hole in the side of the house

and it just dumps? It's going underground labyrinth somewhere. I don't know where it's going. It's going on some fucking vampire. I don't know where it's going. Is it going on some fucking vampire. I don't know where it's going. Does it back up into the house? Do you have issues? No, I've never had any. It's a big pit. Who cares? Why did you look into this? Because he spent

$11,000 on a service. No, no, no. Sorry, go ahead. What did you say, Woody? I think you were about to answer. Something inspired you to check out what's happening with your drainage, your sewage. My stupid cleaning lady blended an avocado in the garbage disposal. The whole thing?

Yeah, the whole thing. What a dumb bitch. Your sink is clogged. And I dip my hand in and it's like fucking full of avocado seeds coming out. Oh, man. That's probably not America.

I got a guy to come out and like, can you do the, can you fix the fucking avocado that, uh, fucking idiot, uh, just tried to blend in the garbage disposal and he starts snaking it down. He's like,

yo man, you're, you're plumbing's fucked. Uh, and actually it's not even connected to the sewer. Like, course it's not why would it be so what'd he do just snake it down until he ran out of snake and was like it's still going boss there's a lab with the poo brought it back and just melt it off at the end i don't know where it goes and it was raining so it's all over so it was like at the limit like

the shit pit or what it was like at the top i'm like man i don't want to live over this that's how far away is it did he tell you like what's the actual distance between you and this feces pile you've been accumulating oh my god so you're like in sinkhole danger territory right like this could just consider that i don't know because it's that way it's like i'm right now i'm sitting on the Oh, my God. So you're like in sinkhole danger territory, right? Like this could just be considered that. I don't know because it's that way. It's like I'm right now. I'm sitting on the lowest part of my house in the studio laundry room. So I'll be first to be sucked in.

Yeah, it's the first to be stuck. It's that way. Please do it live. I don't know if it's like getting sucked into the neighbor. I hope it's under the neighbor's house, actually, because the way he was doing it, it hooked to the right and went that way for 20 feet. That's not my house anymore. What if you're low-key connected to your neighbor's sewage

and everything's fine? You could just stop paying and mooch off them. Trailer park boy style. That'd be good. Dude, you just got to move to one of the good states. You beat the system. I don't know what the top-ranked states are. What is your top-ranked state, Taylor? That'd be good. Dude, you just got to move to one of the good states. You beat the system. I don't know what the top-ranked states are.

What is your top-ranked state, Taylor? Missouri. This is just a green... Honestly, it would be... Okay, fine. We'll be real. It's Florida. It's Florida, okay? They have beaches, and it's nice. Florida sucks. Let me speak up for Florida.

First of all, Florida has medical marijuana for now. Second of all, Florida doesn't have state income tax. Third of all, you get the full gradient of real estate value because you can go to the coast and it's like, oh my goodness. But every step you take inland, you'll eventually get to your bracket, right? Whether you want to spend 10 million on your house or a hundred thousand on your house, you just keep going inland.

Your neighbors go downhill, but so does the, you know, the, the, the, the property. Yeah.

Yeah. You look outside of Orlando for cheap dude. Outside of Orlando. I really dislike it there. Strongly. Oh yeah. You need to spend. So I, uh, there's, um, you know dislike it there. Strongly. You need to spend. So there's Eric Farewell. You guys know him. He's been on the show. He was a paintball event. Well, he owns maybe the biggest, most successful

paramotor school on the planet. I think. I don't think it's off target to say that. And it's in central Florida. So I've been there a lot. And while his school is a first class organization, the area is not my cup of tea uh it is just redneck that i don't know inedible alligator meat is sold there it's florida florida's great like if i were going to live in florida it would be close enough i could drive to the beach just on a whim easy peasy like if i'm going to live in central florida i'll just live in Missouri. We have better laws than them anyway, other than the state income tax. What is it?

The St. John's River. There's a place that it goes through. I like it down there. There's a lot of places. Somewhere in Florida? I wonder where Florida gets its money from. I know a lot comes from tolls and tourists, so that helps them keep their taxes low. But lately i've been

hearing that texas has one of the higher tax rates and has no income tax so what are they taxing exactly maybe their sales tax is higher i don't know i don't know i don't know how that works me too i'm being honest they must get their money somewhere i mean they have i think there's a lot of industry there i mean i know i know there's a lot of big firearm stuff there. There's a lot of big firearm stuff there. Knight's Armament is there. They do huge government contracts as well as civilian stuff. It's a massive company.

What's your top-ranked state then, Dick? Your top number one. Shit, I don't know. Every time I hate California enough to think about leaving like i go to another state and everyone's so fucking fat they're never fat and hot i just think yeah i mean the taxes are worth it fuck it who cares colorado then it's not hot and they're like the least fat true of all of us are they yeah they're the least fat of all of us. Are they?

Yeah, they're the least fat. They're the only one who's not dramatically overweight at this point. It's a very white state, too. Almost no minorities. Yeah, I've looked into Colorado. That makes sense. A lot of the snow sports tend to be a very white thing, and that's what they're doing there, skiing, snowboarding.

What do you mean? It drives out the colors when they're skiing. You think so? They just see someone skiing and they're like, I don't like this shit. I'm getting out of here. It's scary. You don't want to see white people going that fast. Because usually we have that on them, right?

Like no matter how pissed off they get, we can outrun them. On ice. Only on ice. Yeah, we're decent skaters. They can't run downhill. From the womb the those from caucus mountain descent who are we talking about bulls i got bears bears oh okay yeah no we're talking about how dick cannot suffer fat people and so i guess that's who we can outrun. You fuckers. You guys gave Vito weight loss tips how to like cut water weight.

That fucking asshole weighed under. He won his weight loss contest by like a pound. Dude, he came in. Oh, yeah. He was supposed to lose 30 pounds in six months. Right. oh yeah he was supposed to lose 30 pounds in six months right and he spent the entire first month of his weight loss journey like just binging on mountain dew and tacos and like having a farewell orgy with the foods and the drinks that he loved and then the second month

he spent doing it again uh it was like the least committed weight loss. He told us. Yeah. I was like, why? It's why? But yeah, it was like, wait, you only have like 13 pounds or 17 pounds to go or whatever for like $1,200 it was at the time. Yeah. I've cut 17 pounds in the next 24 hours for $1,500.

I mean, it's going to suck a little, but it's $1,500. Yeah. Give me the money. It's like, Oh, how you do it? He did it. Huh? 13 pounds to lose in one week. And I guess that's, I guess that's when he went on your show. Yeah. Yeah. So he started, I mean, he started saying all kinds of weird stuff about like cutting and stuff that he's never said before. And somebody told me that he was on here. And you guys gave him a bunch of insane ideas on how to lose weight he comes in he comes

in the day of the weigh-in and he's like possessed like he looks white his lips have shriveled he looks he looks like uh like when spongebob does like a freeze frame they show him all this thing looked like that let's go he had a giant box of tacos in one hand and he had got because he's like we're doing the way in before the show i don't want to feel like this the whole show and i'm like all right man so i covered up the number on the scale i got this bluetooth scale covered up the number and it sent uh it's yeah like that it sent the weight to my girlfriend who wrote it wrote on a piece of paper put on envelope gave it to me and then he just starts like shoveling in tacos and fucking mountain dew like sucking them down wow he spent the whole episode this guy's episode burping and farting.

It was fucking disgusting. And then he finally... Oh, God. And he's acting like he's owed this repulsive behavior. He's like, I earned this. It's been the worst three days of my life.

All you had to do was act normal for a couple months yeah not even that yeah um and then i i read it i must have teased that for like 10 minutes with drum rolls and bullshit i read it he won he weighed he lost well he lost 31 and a half pounds over six months. And then I made him weigh himself again after downing a whole thing of a box of tacos. And then he had he had gained like two and a half pounds during the show. And then he left the show and had a celebratory pastrami sandwich in Pasadena, a notorious, famous pastrami sandwich. The gluttonous

behavior after it was fucking disgusting. In no way did he achieve the spirit of the weight loss. He 100% cheated through dehydration methods. You don't think he made a lifestyle change?

How much was the bet again? How much money did he win? $1,200. Okay. People just dumped money into this smart contract until it was shameful of him to have lost it. Well, he owes me a little bit, right? He should.

When he came on the show last time he was on, just recently, he led into that conversation like, yeah, it's going to be embarrassing. There's zero percent chance I get it done. I'm going to take shit for it. And it's like, well, number one, yeah, you're going to take shit because you had six months to lose a very reasonable amount of weight. Like you're not Michael Phelps shape being asked to lose 20 pounds like you're all you're fat. Like it's easy to lose weight when you're fat. I know I've been fat and the weight just when you stop eating like that,

when you're fat, you're like, look at me losing weight like crazy. It's like, yeah, it turns out like 1800 calorie binge eating sessions late at night are not the ticket. And all you have to do is cut that out. And so is he is he going to change at all, you think? Or is he back to fat? He says he is. It was at all you think or is he back to fat money he says he is it was a celebratory sandwich woody

i've done shit like that where i'm like damn need to celebrate not hitting traffic on the way home a little pizza action like just the least the smallest things for the biggest yeah because he came on this show and he was like yeah it's gonna be embarrassing i didn't hit my targets i'm it's like having not studied all semester long and you know there's no way you're gonna pass this final and and we were like you know you can do this and i i've lost i think i've changed the number over time but somewhere like seven or eight pounds in one night for a jujitsu competition and kyle's lost somewhere in the teens for a photo shoot and uh we were both like you know you can do this like you this is how you do it and damn it worked good for him he got his 13 1200 for really what amounted 400 per day of dehydrating himself is a great rate

of payment if he could prorate that into a career he's just do it every day yeah he'll make a lot of money for about 13 days can you do another competition where it's like all right you get your 1200 we're going double or nothing you have to actually lose the weight this time, real fat. And if not, you have to pay me back. Like, get him on that. Or if he wins that one, he gets 2,400. Can I just say, because I know how people are, and I'm all for, like, cheating systems,

you got to get him in a DEXA scan, D-E-X-A, because that'll scan him, get an accurate fat, like, content. So it won't matter if he dehydrates or not. He can't cheat his way out of that. Then you can force him to do things. Is that expensive? My scale has like a, that's bullshit.

Oh, that's bullshit. Okay. Like a real DEXA scan, you get into like an, it's not quite an MRI machine, but it's like you lay on a table and then this scanning arm goes up and down your body. And you have to be like completely still.

And I had to strap me in because I'm a little bit too wide for the machine. And she gets this like ridiculous readout. She can see your bone density and everything. It's real cool. It's not that expensive, like maybe $80 a scan. But I bought like a dozen scans. Is there like, can she see your dick? Yeah.

Yeah. She see your dick. Yeah. Can she tell you your dick density? Yeah. She could literally see your dick in that thing. Cause I'm like, ah, there's my dick. And it's like, and it's like a cute girl and her cute girlfriend.

And, uh, and then it's like, there's my dick on the screen. And she's usually quick to turn that screen off because there's multiple views. It's like the Predator. She's got eight different ways to look at your body or whatever. But that one that's kind of like the airport scanner, the good airport scanner, not that cheap shit,

it just shows your dick and your ball. It's like, ah, we're leaning to the right today. It's like, we're leaning to the right today it's like there it is all crammed up in there like so you start i gotta fluff before i go in there for a dexa scan sure does that throw throw the numbers off though because then the heat registry it's going to be like you got a lot of i should have told you that's what her friend was for yeah this is a dexa scanned operator and a fluffer but uh but yeah that's like that's not the most the most accurate way is they use the water submersion method um and they have to submerge their whole

body in water and then measure like uh you know the the the displacement and uh but the dexascan is cheap and quick and you don't have to get in a fucking tank of water at some university somewhere do you think it's better than your gym teacher pinching you? A thousand percent better than that. But the thing about that, though, the pinch test works pretty good. Like, yeah, you're fat. He's like, yeah, I got a whole fist on here, Tubbo.

I know that you're fat. So Dexa scans about $200. Oh, it's cheaper than... I'm sure it will do. I don't know. Let's send Dexa to one of the... Go to Dexa Atlanta.'s about $200. Oh, it's cheaper than... I'm sure it will be. I don't know. Let's send Vito to one of the... Go to Dexa Atlanta. They're great.

That'll save you money. Derek's got a bunch of connects with these guys. We'll have... Next time, have Vito go in, get scanned up and down like that, and he can't take your listeners for a ride with his cheating. But, I mean, I respect his cheating. Well, he won, so I can't really manipulate him into doing

another humiliating contest for a while. You can manipulate. You have the money. Yeah. He's not going to do it. You have the purse strings. You have the puppeteer strings. Once you get his current body fat percentage, you can

give him a goal, and he won't hit that goal. You'd be like, all right, you're 34% body fat. Get to 20, and he would never get there. He'd never get to 20. Never get to 20. What did Taylor say? It's a mystical number, 20% body fat. No humans ever achieved that.

No one, no. I like backwards rationalizing overweight behavior by being like, well, our hunter-gatherer. They would often load on carbs every day. You would be cheap with the tribe. I mean, mammoths have you speared, Taylor?

Sometimes they would sometimes the Paleolithic man would eat 1900 calories of salted cashews every day. Sometimes they'd do this for a week before they said, get real. You're gaining weight again.

These pants weren't so tight two weeks ago. these pants were so tight two weeks ago that's like as long as i shut it down when pants start feeling tighter i think i'm in the mix as long as i keep a one in front of my my number i have shorts that are way too big for me and i intentionally wear a belt because if that belt loop starts being a struggle, you know, lifestyle changes need to happen. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's no fun. Well, it's fun to get fat off and on, but it is not fun to be fat. It's very uncomfortable. And you're always self-conscious like, ah, I bet I look like a fucking massive Simeon from the side right now i bet everyone at cvs is saying get a load of that fat retard and then i had and then and then it goes back to the internal dialogue be nice to

taylor taylor and then i have to go in my head you get out of your you get out of your car and the car like noticeably bounces up from the suspension fuck people saw that didn't yeah and then the guy next to me started commenting on the impressive shocks I must have on my Honda. You an off-roadster? And I'm like, no. Oh, man, do you guys know who

Merlogic is? We'll do your topic. Merlogic, do you guys know who that is? Merlogic, no. The Wonder Bread guy? You must know the Wonder Bread porno guy, right? No. Wonder Bread whore.

The guy who got like a zillion commissions. All of a sudden, long time ago, early internet, all these commissions popped up of women, like upper class, bitchylooking, white, waspy women with shopping carts full of Wonder Bread, you know, the loaves of bread, and, like, a shopping aisle full of Wonder Bread. And then that morphed from that to the same women, like,

chainsawing down forests. Like, really weird. Yes. Like this. If you're an old internet person you will have remembered this so it turned out all of this was being commissioned by one guy uh whose name is illogic this is like his he has a very elaborate uh a compulsion to get commissions and a very elaborate uh fantasy or desire to see bitchy white women

buying Wonder Bread and then other very hyper-specific I don't even know if you can call it a fetish but that's like his thing. What the fuck? He started calling into my show a couple years ago and we became very obviously we became great friends.

Wonder Bread code for something? It seems to be. Can seems like that picture up again i i'm very confused and i pull it out yeah the girls what's going on with is that a so those are boobs behind the bread i believe she's handling gallons of milk i thought it said milk truck or milk tank on her tits in that yeah there's probably yeah uh there's nothing else sexual about this so talking to him over the years um it we find out that he's had a very he's had a very hard life uh he's gone through some like foster he's gone through the foster system he's gone through a couple weird um like uh i don't know what you call them they're kind of like half half prisons half foster houses usually oh yeah milk truck yeah yeah scroll all the way down you know i'm more into this than i

am feet like i can get this yeah you can get it if you stare at it too long if you like stare into the abyss of wonderland staring back yeah yeah i'm it because he can't he can't take care of his own needs like his clothes and stuff when we started talking to him like his life is kind of in shambles so every year i buy him or i try to get the audience to buy him like clothes for christmas and new stuff and gift cards that he can use to go not buy commissions but buy like normal life stuff like so so this year he says he calls in he goes well i need new pants because all my pants have holes in them and i separate them by the week by days of the week so i only wear the pants on monday and then i put them back on tuesday so i

don't wear them out too fast it's like all right man let's buy you some let's just buy you all new pants right we can buy that we can buy you new pants for christmas what size pants are you and he goes i'm a 52 30 what the fuck is that oh 52 30 30 i can't even imagine that that sounds like the caliber you'd use for a buffalo that's like uh that's like a convertible cover I didn't know that they made that size real humpty dumpty body type so I'm like you gotta be fucking shitting me

go get an actual measurement from somebody who measures clothes he goes trust me I know I know what my size is I'm like alright so he goes to the big and tall store and he sends me back the next day look this is the pair of pants that they gave me to buy 52 30 so i said okay fucker we're gonna buy you we're gonna buy you a shitload of 52 30 big and tall khakis so you can wear them at

work yeah um can you imagine how tired the little sewing child Indonesians are when they're done with his pants? They're like, oh my god this job sucks for me. Yeah, great idea You know what's funny about buying eight pairs of 52-30 pants is the tacit admission that nothing's going to change

We're going to keep going this road Even one read by the loaf Nah, he, like, three good pairs of sweatpants to try to work your way down. Yeah. Jesus Christ. God, he's built, like, a pair of... If you invert that, that's what he's wearing, basically.

How can they charge $260 for those? Those are terrible. I hate these pants. But I bet I i would so this guy 52 30 i don't think i've ever seen that size available in like a kohl's or or a clothes shop like have you ever walked in and been like sifting for like 32 32s or whatever and then you like oh a 60 30 this is like a rare pokemon. Yeah, I've never seen it. But he's out there rocking it.

I feel like that would be a... You'd want suspenders, right, at that point? Yes, belt out of the question. You would need two, and you'd have to strap them together on the back. I gotta put suspenders on his Christmas list then. Because I really need suspenders. It's gonna look like a real Santa Claus body type.

Zach wears 30 by 38? Yeah. Zach is like six foot six. Yeah. I know he's a belter. That's what Zach is. He really is. He's even got that hairstyle.

He genuinely... He should send his... Shame the show's not on the air anymore. Well, missed that opportunity too, Zach. Goddamn. Wearing giant track pants. Yes, that's what you need as a lean 6'6 guy. Pants with a vertical stripe.

Really accentuate that Slenderman vibe. Ooh, that's got to be your Halloween costume every year, though, if you're tall and lanky like that. If you ever see someone with a high-effort costume that's scary, and it's a person in a costume and everything, but you kind of wish they wouldn't walk up next to you? Yeah, because it's like you're a little unhinged for having done this. It's like that's upsettingly good.

I mean, honestly, that's how I feel about Woody's clown friend. I like to bring him up annually around this time of year because it's Christmas time. And he's probably got some red and green and white face paint on looking ghoulish as shit. I wanted to ask about Wonder Bread Man. Did he ever tell you what the fetish was? Like, what is it that he finds so exciting about bitchy white women buying huge amounts of white bread? Bro, honestly, he might. He's like Van Gogh. so much detail about these Wonder Bread fetish

commissions that it's like the tiny tip of the iceberg of this universe that he has in his head that he's just trying to get out. This is one of the normal things he's into? What's that? This is one of the normal-er things he's

into, you think? I don't know. I don't know how to quantify it. Yes, probably. Can we talk to him for like 20 minutes one night? Because here's my suspicion. It sounds like he grew up in the foster home. Like maybe he like, he never had a mother, but maybe there was somebody who made him a Wonder Bread sandwich one time

who was like a mother figure with some big old titties. And she was like, she made him that sandwich and that sandwich meant the world to him. And it's been 25 years since, but he still has these weird sort of mothery slash sexual, like early teens. He wants that again. He yearns for it because in that moment he felt cared for and he felt that for it because in that moment he felt he felt cared for. And and and he felt that for the first time in his life. And he probably never felt it again. And he's been eating those sandwiches, trying to fill himself with that love. And he's just made me sad about it.

That's probably what it is, right? Probably. Hope you're doing all right. He's super fun and interesting to talk to, though. He has a ton of great stories let's get Wonder Bread man they're not over sexualized there's a hint of it there

but it's not over the top they're buttoned up they're buxom sometimes and they're older women nurturers it's sort of that motherly duty of mommy goes to the store and gets the bread and makes my sandwiches.

Like, I guarantee it's something weird like that. You're probably right. Yeah. Which, you know, who's who's to judge? If I didn't have a loving mom who made me sandwiches, maybe I'd be getting fucking commissions of fully clothed milfs delivering bread. Like that could be, although I haven't heard of anyone else ever doing this. So it's probably not that common. But as far as things that are weird to be into,

this has got to be the most innocent thing I've ever seen. Like not even any, the women don't even have nipples protruding through their shirts. I did notice they were missing here there's his there's his christmas wish list if you want to buy him some gigantic clown pants or do you feel that bad taylor well no hey that man wants this wall home hair cutting kit he wants to cut his own hair so he doesn't have to have to suffer the humiliation of not fitting into barber chairs anymore. You can't provide him with that little bit of humanity. I mean, I could buy...

Well, that's one of the more expensive items. Let's take a look at some of the other ones. Jesus, Mog. How much gold are you hoarding? $32, folks. Yeah, but look. He wants a cash gift card for $10 so that's the line he said i want a hair clipper but top of the line i said bro what do you put on there some shitty hair clippers

come on yeah quality hardwired in gonna work for me because i don't cut my hair i don't know what a good hair product is yeah uh well maybe maybe i'll buy him a little Hanes Men's Fresh IQ Polo. Extra, extra, extra, extra, extra large. I threw the pink shirt on there. He's probably going to get pissed off about that. But beggars can't be choosers. How many years in a row have you done this now that you've given him all this shit? Three or four, I think.

Isn't that nice of you? It's very nice of you. What other humanitarian efforts have you made? I know obviously you're donating to Israel, donating to Palestine. You work both sides, so you always come out on top. What else?

Yeah. That I've been doing lately. Or at all. Or ever. You already beat us with one guy. That's too much. I have to balance it out by being shitty. Woody danced for a charity he's he's

he's he's our charity leader kind of that's true yeah i that's not well you know like once every four years i get a bunch of black trash bags and i stuff all the clothes i no longer wear in them and then i go drop them off at Goodwill. I just throw them away. Do you really? Yeah. Well, I mean, you can go to Goodwill and just drop it off. If I can't have them, nobody can. Oh, you're not a medium

anymore? Then no one is! I got a lot of good memories in this shirt. And that's where it ends. The CEO just got convicted of stealing and bezzling all the money or something. Which CEO? From Goodwill? I'm not going to buy that at all.

I used to buy toilets from them all the time. I'd go to those Goodwill stores, like the big ones in Athens. And I would buy their used toilets to shoot my videos. And home furniture for poor people like yeah this this all looks like good stuff to shoot with a machine gun and there's

like a family over there shopping see you were just driving up the price at Renna Center for it so many toilets like I promise that no one went without a shitter I wouldn't I wouldn't turn into my toilet to Goodwill I feel like that's almost mean.

He stole $1.4 million from Goodwill. This was high-quality shitters. In the world of embezzlement, that's so nothing. You think he should have been more ambitious? I think he should have went more. He should have stole as many t-shirts as he could get his hands on and like $2 million. Well, he only caught $1.4 million worth of missing money. Who knows?

He might have a good couch and a used t-shirt that's true yeah he could have like one dented scraped kettlebell like that wasn't he already getting paid a shitload that's a huge attention that's why i kind of misrepresented it i think he was the sacramento goodwill c like In my head, it was all of Goodwill. When I do donate to charities, it's like animal charities. I think I've said it before. There's some YouTuber I watched who's got a bunch of fucking sick dogs that he takes care of. He's got so goddamn many of them.

And I'm like tears in my eyes. PayPal in this man's organization money one night like is he he'll go to like some yard where some poor dog's been left to die all chained up like like with three feet of chain because they've wrapped around and around he'll be like oh we're not having this and like scoop them up and like bring them back to being this happy floofy thing in a pack of other happy floofy things can't remember the guy's name you do get got by the animal charities pretty often because like there won't like some international conflict will come out and it'll

be like donate to get this baby moved to a non-bombing zone and you'll be like not my problem and then they show like one sad cat and you're ripping apart your i donated to that thing in ukraine where they were trying to get the animals out because they had just abandoned the shelters and the clinics and all that shit. And there was just animals in cages. And like, we're going in to get them.

And I'm like, here's a little money. Donating to like Ukrainian hamsters is more psychotic than donating. I don't think there's anything you can donate to that I've done. Imagine if like your little teddy was locked up in a cage. Three days, no water.

What are the humans that I love? I would have saved them. You'd pay some Ukrainian commando to kick that fucking door and scoop him up. Don't worry, little buddy. We're going to America. Get him out of there. Come on. I had to pick hamsters and cats when making fun of you

because i don't because like yeah i could see donating for dogs dogs are wonderful animals better than most people but i think i gave a few hundred i was really suckered in by that one they probably just spit it on beer i felt bad they probably did there's some ukrainians in a trench drinking fucking like american beer that they bought with my money. But I'd probably do that too. Honestly, if there was a beer fund for those dudes, I'd buy them one because it's rough over there. That thing's been going on forever. They're still just getting blown up left and right. That hadn't slowed down a bit.

Speaking of charities taking your shit and not being cool with it, what about the uh like the sudan one like all that sudan conflict and i haven't seen one charity being like donate to sudan check it out like they're good 100 ukraine 100 israel i don't see anything about not that like there's only two conflicts right now taylor well in the sudan there's a it's a civil war right so you just got two warlords fighting each other so there's not really a good side i don't think i don't think either one of them is like ah well well i'll be a puppet for america please there's probably some innocent people in the crossfire oh for sure yeah it's it but it's in that darfur region right where they've just been getting shit on for as long as I knew the word Darfur

like my entire life I just learned it so it hasn't been too long I don't know it seems like every time it makes the news it's either for genocide or like a new plague that we're afraid is going to come over to the real you know world or something or war something like that it's never like ah Darfur

right here's in potassium all other potassium producers are inferior it's never like ah darfur right here's in potassium all other potassium producers are inferior it's never anything like who would have guessed it the cure for covid came out of darfur those guys are cranking away geniuses no i don't think they really contribute anything on the grand scheme of things world stage that's uh yeah but middle east very little like good stuff comes out oil comes out of there i've said so many times they've got style though okay before we shit on them let's admit that like they are flossing on uh they're they're just they make us look bad look whenever i see uh like the ufc goes to um uh dubai or where whatever it's like jesus christ do they live in one of those star wars cities like like dubai is like one of those

cities and from fucking star wars or or from like a futuristic uh movie and new york has looked like new york my whole goddamn life you know what i mean like like that place looks crazy hong kong looks incredible like like like why do our cities look like shit what's the major chinese city i can't believe i'm on beijing shanghai yes thank you either one works it dude you look at them from like 40 years ago and now it is night and day yeah we're getting blown out in the in the achievement and city skylines but it's also like they're benefiting from that shit where they you know every once in a while they'll be like badminton is the world's fastest

growing sport and it's like yeah because like 8 people went to 25 like that's how they're like 40 years from now are their cities going to be badminton badminton do you pronounce the n badminton badminton do you say do you pronounce do you pronounce the n bad am i wrong badminton the sport of badminton is played by homosexuals

i think taylor's right and i made fun of him i'm gonna look it up it's possible i hate it when people like confidently incorrect oh no I'm often confidently I looked at it under Google I had it right it's bad man I know there's an N in there no no I'm gonna know it won't change me I can be wrong with evidence you have spelling I have pronunciation

there we go I lie is a sport of of kings run life and death really highlights fucking cool they're hurling that ball 190 kilometers per hour i don't know how fast that is in real units but it gets moving oh i wanted to ask dick like i know you're you've got your fingers in a lot of pies in the the drama world with with this maddox thing now yeah a lot of fights what's going on with that uh that fucking comic book goober that you were fighting with i

saw i saw you tweet something that like maybe people levied a lawsuit against him that he settled and what like what what happened phyllis oh yeah that idiot um eric july who made the isom comic um the minister the international school of ministry aka isom uh got wind of what he was doing and well uh there's a couple theories one theory is that uh proactively the international school of ministry was just keeping their ear to the ground. Their watchdog. They've got a watchdog out there just homing the internet. An alternate theory is that Eric July reported one of my fans on Twitter

and got his account banned. So in retaliation, that fan sent a concerned email to the International School of Ministry pretending to be a reporter for the Dixco slash the biggest problem in the universe news network, asking them about their collaboration with the ISOM comic book and wondering if any of their parishioners had a problem with there being drug use and prostitution in the comic book, but that they were proud of the ministry because they were supporting a black guy who says the N word online. because they were supporting a black guy who says the N word online. I'll say that that's why Eric July decided to run with that with that with number two. And then Eric July threatened to sue me and Vito because he said that me and Vito were secretly this pretending to be us and had emailed the ministry and provoked this lawsuit,

which is stupid because if we're pretending to be somebody who's going to be pretending to be like a reporter for your guys' show, we're not going to pretend to be ourselves. Yeah. So what are the ramifications for him, though? Like, it would seem to me that it's like telling Batman that, oh, you can't be Batman anymore. You can't use that word. And it's like, wellman that oh you can't be batman anymore you can't use that that that word and it's like well that kind of ruins my whole thing well you know so the international school of ministry said the only reason they went after him and eric is definitely infringing on their trademark yeah uh the only reason they went after him is because he was so litigious or he's because he filed so many dmcas on other people so you can trademark the

name of a comic book you can't you can name your like you can you can have a comic book where the main character is named uh mcdonald's or snoopy or whatever but you can't call the comic book snoopy like you can't call the comic book mcdonald's you have to call it like the invention the adventures of retarded mcdonald's retarded mcdon comic book McDonald's. You have to call it The Adventures of Retarded McDonald's or Retarded McDonald or something like that. You have to name that something because that's the actual thing you trademark. So I was making fun of it

because I thought it was hilarious because Eric was being such a prick to me calling me the N-word and stuff and veto and threatening to sue us. I hurt your feelings. A black guy calls me the N-word, what am I supposed to do? I can't say. I hurt your feeling. Yeah, clearly. Yeah, I can't. Black guy calls me the N-word. What am I supposed to do? I can't say.

You're defenseless. Yeah, you're defenseless. You're one of those dogs in a cage in that Sarah McLachlan commercial. I'm going to donate money to you. Call maybe some sort of Mexican slur. Yeah, so I said, I said, well, you should just settle like just change the name of your

stupid comic to to the adventures of like a black token isom or whatever just change the name a little bit and then pay or pay them some kind of licensing fee and like chill out but instead he went online and said that they're a fake christian organization and that he has rock star lawyers that are going to send me and veto to prison and all this other insane shit um and that he has rockstar lawyers that are going to send me and Vito to prison and all this shit. And then he hired some real lawyers and then immediately said that he was settling with the

it was like three months of I thought it was hilarious. Do you think every single online conflict you get into they're like hiring their brother in laws for their initial legal consultations because otherwise like like you would not get this content because they'd be like oh this is what you're doing mr isom okay well that's crazy don't settle that's your option

if the option is to settle yeah when did your when did your comic start one year ago okay and how long has the international ministry been going? Okay. 45 years. All right. So, so they win. Do you see how the timeline doesn't work there in your favor? Mr. Mr.

Isom. Yeah. That's, that's fucking embarrassing. Is, is it a constant, like just parade of errors though? Is he ever going like to his audience and saying like,

Hey guys, beefed up this one, my mistake, but back to the story. Or is it like, he can't let it go he can't let it go he can never he can never in your favor yeah it's great that's like my bread and butter is that like yeah hubris people whose ego will just never let them they'll never let

they'll never let uh they'll never they'll never admit what they did so as long as you have that you have an incredible villain for any story like somebody who can never let the audience off the hook i want you to like how many how many issues has he made of the series like is it done uh two but then i found out recently that all of his art for his comic is like from sketchup the 3d. So it's all these shitty free models that you can download and that are in a scene. None of it's drawn at all. In fact, it's like, if you look at his comic,

everything that's round has like those stupid polygon lines on it still. Oh, shit. It's like a low-res polygon. So I've been making fun of that, obviously. It's very low effort. I did see you tweet one where you were like, get a load of this guy's art. He just took a...

It was clearly an image of a standing man. Yeah. They had just rotated and then put him on a couch, but his feet were still in slightly bent legs standing position to where his entire lower body wasn't touching the couch. Like clip art. like for a laugh it looks so shitty like he made six million dollars and as an anti-woke i'm gonna take down dc and marvel and we're gonna make like our side proud and then you just dump this free clip art trash on people i don't know why everyone else isn't as like doesn't think it's as is um crappy as i do i need to get in on the grifter economy i feel like i'm missing out what is this

people get violently angry when i criticize anything because they're all on the same drifting side look at zoom in zoom into that is that outlet just floating it's an elevator door button so the the 3d the cheap shitty 3d thing is just like an elevator door in the middle of nothing but they forgot to remove the button that you used to call the elevator it's supposed to be like a metal detector right so it has like a model or something that you'd put on a wall but how does that slip through yeah i thought his quality control was air yeah like i would have caught that if if i was in charge like my god if you're gonna do it at least like give a fuck slightly right at least give a little bit of a fuck i meant my favorite critiques of

what you would do is when you would like go through his writing style and veto does this too because you guys both know how to write and i i was just cracking up at those where you're like oh look at this see why it's confusing it's because he forgot to re-establish the subject no like he didn't do that and so now who's they who the fuck is they here is it them is it him we don't know and the pictures don't help. So I hope you continue to run through those every time they release. Oh, I will. I can't help myself, Taylor. And it makes me money.

So it's kind of a storm. Pedantic, you know, grammar and syntax dick is one of my favorite dicks. Just going all out. When my wife talks, she often speaks in a way that I have a hard time following. So I'm going to ask you this, Dick. Here's a sentence. John hit Larry, then he ran away.

Who ran away? If my wife's talking like that, it's me. No ideas. Yeah. Me neither. I don don't know there isn't a way to know like that that's not there isn't like john hit larry then he ran away it's not like oh the grammatically john is still the subject or or the direct object is larry and the it's transferred control to him there There isn't like a rule. Well, there might be, but you have no idea

if the person knows the rule or is following it. That's the practical answer. Yeah. Yeah, it has to be like readable more than everything. Understandable. All right.

We're going to hear from a couple of wonderful, wonderful stories. Is your wife telling stories that short, Woody? God bless you. I can see why. see that with you they're short enough yeah first up we got pharaoh distro pharaoh distro attention pk fans pharaoh distro is doing an exclusive giveaway for listeners and viewers of the podcast over the next month your first 50 bucks spent on pharaoh distro.com linked below we'll get you five entries to win a dab x go the creme de la creme of dab rigs not only that but every 10 spent past the initial 50 gains you an additional entry the giveaway will run from november 30th

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that come on i don't think it's real oh it's not real what a shit check out the freeze pipe uh you will enjoy it very high quality stuff oh it's wonderful i've got mine right here the glass is very heavy you can tell the difference between quality glass and shitty glass by how thick and heavy it is and like crappy glass feels thin like you drop it or like you can set it down you like set it down too hard on your coffee table and like glass feels like, oh, I hope it doesn't get broken by my superior coffee table glass. This is not going to happen. This is high quality stuff.

I could beat the shit out of a home intruder with just the glycerin pipe. You could kill a dog. I could. Someone sicks a big dangerous pup at me, that's what I want in my hand. Or just for funsies. Yeah, and it keeps my hand cold

while I'm defending myself. So check it out. Thefreezepipe.com. Get yourself an ice quality bong or an ice quality. These things apparently are like their biggest seller. Flying like hot cakes. Super convenient. Super nice. And of course, Lock and Load, the premium, premium ejaculation, increasing supplement, taking the world by storm. Get them now. We're're running low holiday season. Yeah, we're probably running low by now. We sell out every holiday season because hopefully it's not all just meme gift people. Hopefully a lot of them are actually taking it and getting juiced up.

I need to actually I need to talk to Derek or one of his guys and have them ship quite a few bottles of this to JT from Black Rifle Coffee Company. Shout out, Jared, because we were talking. I was hanging out with him during that gun trip and Lock and Load came up and he's like, whoa, really? And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, can you ship us some of that? And I'm like, been hanging out

at his fucking incredible compound for a couple days. I'm like, yes, I will absolutely make sure that we send our cum product to your mansion from selling huge amounts of coffee so yeah we'll get him some lock and load but code pka code jizz 10 off anything over there at eric's site so get yourself some lock and load get yourself protein powder weight loss supplements dream supplements uh energy drinks, anything you need. And stay tuned because maybe around the corner, we step into the energy market, right? Yes.

Maybe got some bright ideas over there, some revolutionary thinking. I like the other idea. I don't want to make a joke because I don't want to give away where our head is at. Oh, yeah. No jokes. No jokes. Not going to mention it. Woody, you'll have to scroll back in our conversation and see the absolute psychotic nonsense that we were talking about. But it's a good idea. I think people would like it. But Woody, you'll have to scroll back in our conversation and see the absolute psychotic nonsense that we were talking about.

But it's a good idea. I think people would like it. Yeah. I'm surprised that Blue Chew isn't all up on the Dick Show. Yeah, me too. Who do I have to... Do we have to blow? I mean, it might work, might not.

Yeah. They're all over like male based podcasts all over us asshole over here persona non grata how come I wasn't getting an invite

to that shoot-a-thon that you were at I knew a bunch of guys there what did I piss too many people off like usual I don't know it was Brandon Herrera that invited me I knew a bunch of guys there. What did I piss too many people off? Like usual? I don't know. I like, it was, it was Brandon Herrera that invited me. And he was on the show. Then we went,

yeah, he's been on the show a few times and I was talking to Harley leading up to, it was like right in the middle. Brandon, come on, man. You guys do peas in a fucking pod. That's my real name that he's. I was,

I was like messaging Harley leading up to it because we hung out most of the time there in the same same group and I was you guys were you and Harley were like having your little tiff online yeah you're having your you're totally real fight and uh I was like oh man I really hope Dick is going to this that would be fun to like meet Dick for real chill with him but I was like ah I shouldn't DM him and be like hey are you going to this that would be fun to like meet dick for real chill with him but i was like ah i shouldn't dm him and be like hey are you going to this big get together thing and if you were like i'm not invited and it's but i'd be like then i'd have to say oh that sucks bro because i do not have the clout to just invite someone to this thing oh please everyone knows that taylor you don't have to say that. I'm just a jester.

Just going to go in there and dancing around. That shit was so fun, though. You would have had fun shooting machine guns. Shot a Tommy gun. Shot an MP40. Bunch of guys talking about guns. Fucking dumb. Brandon Herrera's really going to be in the U.S. House of Representatives.

It looks like it. I hope he makes it. That'd be fucking sweet. Taylor, I want to talk about the u.s house of representatives it looks like it i hope he makes it that'd be fucking sweet taylor i want to talk about the trip was was there like constant machine gun firing going on was it that kind of shoot was it like always going on or it was constant like yeah it was like 15 big tables up near the shooting area and there's like eight ten feet deep of people waiting at all times to like get to their chance to shoot or like talk to someone and there's like i guess custodians of these different tables who are handling like okay this is these are my guns and like you you shoot these yeah yeah and like the i felt like a bitch when i was standing near the barrett 50 cal i was talking like uh wendigan and i hung out a good deal of the day,

chatting, talking about life, having a good time. He's a great dude. And we were standing by the Barrett 50 Cal and I had in my head like a fucking call of duty retard. I was like, the Barrett 50 Cal is like not that loud. It's like pretty quiet, like compared to the other one. So I bet that's not a big deal. And and like i guess it is if you're shooting it but i like i was standing in like the cone of pressure where it like shoots out like i was standing there talking to wendigo and like

jumped when it when it shot and i'm like oh my god this is so much worse than i thought it would be and like isaiah knows a shit ton about guns he was like, oh yeah, it's not that bad to shoot. But you and I are in the absolute mathematically worst place to be right now when they're shooting this. And so the guy with the... Well, other than standing in front of it. The Barrett.50 cal guy would go like, bang! Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang! And just shoot it off.

And I could feel my organs moving a little bit from the the pressure of that thing it was like you didn't want to shoot that or try to finagle that somehow not really like have you shot a 50 cal before no i've never shot a 50 cal and so i maybe i should have taken my opportunity to yeah but it was so fucking loud that's the thing yeah if i did it i would have held it like That would have been cool. You could absolutely stand and lean into that and dump a 10 round mag, no problem. I don't know what 50 cal costs now.

That thing was sweet. It's gotta be 5 or 6 bucks a bullet, right? I could get it way back then for like 2, but I was getting machine gun ammo that was linked together to go through a machine gun but it seemed like if i just wanted to buy okay rounds it was going to be five anyway back then i don't i don't know i don't know maybe maybe it's like uh plasma tvs and they've

stabilized that market forever but they had a a rocket launcher but because it wasn't shooting like a real rocket it was shooting like a dummy one that didn't explode. I wasn't that tempted to shoot it. So I didn't shoot that a mirror from epic mealtime. Harley's like cook guy. Who's very cool. It was fun to hang out with. Uh, he shot it.

Um, I saw a shoulder shoulder fired. Was it like shoulder? No, it was more like tannish tannish and like silver. It's like a tube that like expands likeish. Tannish and silver. It's like a tube that expands like this? It probably did, yeah. It wasn't like a gigantic one.

I only saw Amir shoot it, and then I saw later Sam Hyde shot it. But other than that, it didn't seem like a huge draw because it's not going to blow up. You may as well shoot one with cool guns. I'm guessing it's an M72 Law trainer. Um, I think that is what it is. And, uh, I had a bunch of those little rockets, but they were expensive. Like there was, it was hard to source them. There was only one guy that I knew of that had them and they were a couple hundred bucks a shot.

Um, but like you said, they were, they're not all that fun to shoot unless you hit an explosive and make it blow up. Cause it's just a up because there's a little explosive in there. I shot one at the horizon one time, and I thought it was going to be like a bow and arrow, how it kind of arcs out, and then it lands right there, and it just fucking kept going, dude. I don't know where it went. Maybe next year if I go back, I'll try the rocket launcher then,

but it didn't look that fun. Did they have to pay? No, no. Everything was like it didn't look that fun. Did they have to pay? Because that's what I'm. No, no. Everything was like we just showed up and shot. They had like a barbecue truck there. Also, it was it was fucking fun. It was less a gun day and more like just hanging out. Like after the first 90 minutes, I was done shooting and just.

And then it's like, all right, am I going to like struggle to talk to Wendigoon here in the blast of the 50 Cal, or should we just walk 200 yards that way and have a real conversation without foam in our ears? Yeah, you can't have a conversation around those things without active ear protection. That was a ton of fun. That was so much fun. Next year, I hope Dick Masterson's invited.

I don't want to go. It sounds stupid. Right. All up, waiting in line line talking to guys like a semicircle have you ever uh have you ever been to a machine gun shoot like the knob creek thing maybe i have not dick have you uh like vegas gun ranges okay so at knob creek kentucky they have the world's biggest machine gun shoot every year um and it's i don't know a couple hundred yards of tables shooting downrange and they they have cars exploding

downrange and shit washing machines exploding and all kind of targets set up and it's every firearm firearm known to man going at the same time just fucking around for like two or three days two or three days but they sell a lot of stuff. It's like an outdoor open-air firearms market. You could buy everything from... There was an SS cap that I still regret not buying for $800 or something.

Then you can also buy machine guns and firearms and ammo and all that shit. At least last time I went. I would definitely shoot machine guns again. That was fun. But it's like I wouldn't want to do that all day. What you want to do is is go to one of those things with one of those dudes where they just go out in the field with like three or four people and shoot off a tailgate with with one of those guys. That would be what was what's fun. I have never liked those.

All right, now it's your turn. Stand here, point that way. Don't pivot a bit. You'll terrify everybody. And yeah, plink at that. No, you can't tell that you're hitting it because everyone else is shooting it too. All right, you're done.

Dude, there were just as many UFC guys and professional wrestlers as you would assume to be at an event like this that guy uh i didn't know who he was tim kennedy do you know who that is sure he's been on the show oh really oh well he uh uh he flew in on like a helicopter and just like showed up in a helicopter and i'm like this guy must be like fucking a really good fighter i was there shit i didn't realize we never talked did he repel or did he just land and get out he just made his money hunting imaginary nazis in argentina on a tv show he found him oh not i wouldn't say that to this guy's face he's jacked yeah he um where i trained he was like the biggest baddest dude around so i guess um people would come and roll

with him because he like something to do with fort bragg and uh so it goes like this my instructor would just toy with me and do anything he anything he wanted to happen while i roll with my instructor would just toy with me and do anything he anything he wanted to happen while i roll with my instructor is what he chose to happen cool and then there was his instructor this black belt over him he had that experience with that guy that black belt could somehow toy with the guy that toyed with me and then tim kennedy toyed with that guy and uh my instructor would talk about what it was like to roll with him. And if you've ever been full now, you kind of stand on your knees on the guy's belly. That's how you do it.

This guy would sit on your belly and put his heels on the ground disrespectfully. He doesn't even have a good base, but you can't do anything about it because he's fucking good. I wouldn't have fought him. He did literally have that show that Woody described. It's exactly that. He went to Argentina looking for maybe Hitler, not just Nazis. Hitler, they thought he was going to be like

125. I don't think they expected to find him alive, but I think they were trying to find him. My name is Adolf Smith and I am so tired. Maybe the Nazis had like a youth formula and he got the last dose, you know, and he's 125 and kind of spry.

And hey, the elections are coming up. All right. I didn't see that in Captain America. It could be a super serum of some kind. Maybe he's Red Skull. Yeah. Oh. Do you got to meet Chuck Liddell? Did you get to speak to Chuck? Or did he... Because did you get to speak to chuck or did he because did you

get to hear chuck speak is what i mean i got to say like hello to chuck liddell and that was about it just took a quick picture with him and harley and then he was like back to to shooting guns and he's a i don't know what i would have imagined he's a very thick man like a broad guy who would fuck you up if he wanted he had the hands of someone who has punched so many things like so like just those like big broad knuckles like that that have been forged on other people's jaws like that's that's what he did right wasn't he was he was a big striker right wasn't a wrestler he actually was a wrestler he that was his background before fighting and uh somehow he used that wrestling base to never wrestle people always had to look for his wrestling

here's the deal if you're afraid of my takedown then you can't just defend my hands you have to like keep your arms low and and be ready for the takedown then you can't just defend my hands you have to like keep your arms low and and be ready for the takedown so he would use that to his advantage and just punch people in the face all the time yeah and he had the coolest name he had the mohawk and the goatee and he had those shorts that's what i was gonna say he. He had these Iceman shorts. And I swear you could get a six-year-old to draw Chuck Liddell. And by the shorts and the mohawk, like his branding was on the goatee. Yeah, you just knew what Chuck Liddell looked like. And he had this huge rivalry with Tito Ortiz, the Huntington Beach bad boy.

And I was a Chuck guy. I was all about Chuck. And Chuck won. He beat him twice. I don't know if he beat him twice and they fought twice or he beat him two out of three. He had like a military at this event. So he beat him twice and then they did this awful thing like three years ago where they

drug poor. They brought this man out to fight Atito Ortiz who is still quite the professional athlete and Chuck got some more concussions. Yeah, they're about the same age chronologically. Is he taller than you, Taylor? It's hard to tell from angles because Harley almost looks less

gigantic. Harley was squatting down, but Chuck and I were like the same height. I was on a little decline. You look like you're about his size. You look stronger than him. Way stronger. He would beat the shit out of me. That fight would end when he tired wasn't he light heavyweight yeah he was that's 205 cut to what the was there not a 180 back then for chuck what i'm just saying i'm saying is like like like i don't know that man looks like there

was a 185 rich franklin was the champ at the time he couldn't make 185 i guess chuck i think he was too big yeah but that was that was fun that guy goldberg i never watched professional wrestling but he's way bigger than i imagined he would be that guy's fucking enormous was he the biggest person there he and harley were probably the two largest people there but like harley like is lean he's in good shape like he's not heavy at all like i think i think my money would be on goldberg though oh goldberg yeah would fuck harley's ass which like shout out like, shout out Harley. I know, Dick, you and him are having a beef. He was so much fucking fun to hang out with. Are you and Harley having an actual beef?

No. We'll see. That depends on Harley. That depends on what he has to say about Maddox's three-hour documentary slash hit piece on me. It's a piece of genius. Oh, well, he's right then. If that's his opinion.

I'm just trying to be. I want to fight you. Have you seen it? What do you want to drama? What? He's like, Dick, hate me. I want some on my beef. It's been too long.

Shake the rust off. Get back. What do you have to watch the the documentary and tell me what you think? I just asked Harley to watch it and tell me what he thought about the rapeless part because that was that's a pretty funny segment. Oh, yeah. I bet he would be totally

on your side if once he actually watched through it, but he's like did so I was busting his balls. But I don't know. I just pulled this comment off of your subreddit. I never have TV stuff to talk about. Have you guys seen Goldberg's show, Knife or Death? No. What is it?

It's a... Goldberg has a reality show where people who are way too into their knives come on and run a knife obstacle course. it looks like the most dangerous thing you've ever seen on tv run by the least athletic people you've ever seen and it's like shit they have to do with their and their knives some have like a dagger and some have

like gigantic machetes and a lot of 52 30 pants in that show i'm guessing yes and they run through this thing where they're like chopping ropes and yes they do it all in slow-mo and then Goldberg and this Chinese Navy SEAL with like a speech of fucking a goofy accent comment on everything that they're doing like one of the things in the obstacle course is they had to

they got to chop a fish a hanging fish in half none of them can do it. Is Goldberg really into knives or is he just what he's doing? Goldberg works for money. Yeah. But it's a great show.

It seems like a show. Is it a great show? It seems like it's a TV show. A lot of upsets. It's like, alright, we have yet another autistic 22-year-old from middle America. You know what? I don't think anybody's going to take

down this furry suit guy. He really fucked up that obstacle course. Can you imagine how much faster it'd be if he wasn't dressed like a raccoon? I love those guys, man. I haven't seen that obstacle course, but I've seen this before because I kind of like knives. I've watched this. Kyle, did you want to talk?

Forged in Fire, right? Yes, I've heard of that one. They have to build a knife or a sword in that one. Winners of that get to compete in here, I think. It's a feeder show after the pros. It's pretty neat because they'll take a knife. It's usually

something cleaver-h and they'll chop big thick hanging ropes that you might see in a tug-of-war they'll chop bricks and then they'll like slice paper and it's like how is he slicing paper after he cut that brick how can that be you know like he's sawing through a bolt and then he's slicing paper and then he's cutting a tomato and then a rope. It's cool. It's really cool. What's actually cool? It's a show that's really well broken down into YouTube shorts because you just want to see

knives break and knives succeed. That's all you care about. And the rest of it is that fake dramatic music that builds what's going to happen with Mark's katana. They use the fucking culture correct words for all of these stupid fucking blades and you just don't care when this 45 year old overweight man hits something real you're like i get to that part i don't they give you the backstory like it's a fucking recipe website but if you just see them

break their knives and then look disappointed and then everybody shits on the blade, they're like, ah, clearly, clearly he didn't temper that correctly, Mark. Yeah. You can tell, by the way, it fractured along the blade that he just, where was his mind? What was he thinking? I don't know.

This is the sort of pig iron that not even the most devious of dukes would have sent his peasants in to fight with. Throw him in the brig. And then sometimes they cut like a whole deer in half and it's sick yeah i've seen some we need a topic because i've been hanging on to this one for two and a half hours there's full nudity on twitch now i've been told is it competing with charterbait what is the opposite there's artistic nudity they're allowing on twitch which i don't i think that means like if an admin likes you you're good oh like their former policy exactly yes like because previously that wasn't

at all how it worked what like artistic nudity so if we just paint the boobs then we're good i don't know i put like a hat on my dick all right so first of all well no you know body painting's been allowed forever ever the it has but i feel like they covered the nip so the newest thing that i saw was this topless thing where they would bring the camera down just to just right above the nipples and they're clearly topless and they're slapping their titties together and making the noise for donations and stuff and i just saw like that got cracked down on real quickly they're like what is their problem it's like when somebody in a video game finds a new way to jump up on a ledge and the developers are like no we didn't intend that get the fuck out of here those bitches are innovators now i'm i'm all for hating on e-whores, okay? But come on.

When they innovate that way, when they came up with the hot tub category and bitches just started getting kiddie pools in their fucking apartments, filling them up and getting naked in them, come on. That's innovation. Beautiful. I love that. I've seen the blowjob and the double blowjob, but you do a triple blowjob on Twitch and you're breaking new ground.

I need to see it. I'm looking on Twitch for nudity right now. I'll let you know what I want to come up with. I bet there's some nudity on there right now. I doubt it. Seems like they probably shouldn't have any nudity because otherwise it's just going to become a cam site. I immediately found a fat chick shaking her titties,

but they're covered up. That should, everyone is on the same page as that page we can't have kids seeing that fat women no actually playing a game no that's that's a bad influence in multiple ways it's going to get them into something they shouldn't be how you doing kyle finding any nudity because i'm on chatterbait it's a gold mine so i'll be honest like like this feels like inappropriate to me, but it's not technically nudity. But it's weird to me that this is on a gaming website with. And she's doing yoga, I guess. But come on.

Like, do you see this? Yeah. That's inappropriate also, Kyle. But this is on Twitch. Yeah, this is like what? What is Twitch about? Why are women on a video game playing site? This is the yoga category.

A lot of them clearly aren't playing video games. She's in a thong. Oh, well. We can't get too bogged down by this. Yeah, Twitch is pretty wild. It is. I can see the argument a lot of people are making. Don't most people on Twitch,

like half of them are like fucking 13? You can't have nudity on a platform with a bunch of 13-year-olds. It's just like Gaza, a demo. Dude, it's like those Venn diagrams overlap entirely. Yeah, half of Twitch is under 18. It might be even higher than that. I don't know. I really don't know many people my age or older who watch a lot of streams i know some but it's definitely younger and i found the woman who's i don't is it like uh is it important to be to censor twitch if porn is available like anywhere else on the internet i don't know i just it just seems

like it's it's i don't know i always thought it was as a kid's website yeah it is it is a kid's website right like you shouldn't be having this shit on his website i nailed it i don't know right how bad is kyle's i'm still watching an ad for this person but my girl's on her hands and knees and a thumb with with words girl can't hang with my girl this person. My girl's on her hands and knees in a fun bikini with words written all over it. Your girl can't hang with my girl. Your girl's animated. Oh wait, did I miss your link? My bad.

It's right below yours. Okay. I gotta watch it. It'll pay off. Okay. It is a little wild. Didn't they ban gambling? That's not good for kids either. Like getting into gambling. Who's to say it's gaming, first of all?

No gambling on gaming. No, you mean gaming? Oh, yes, totally. Yeah, it's it's gaming to play online slots, which I mean, it kind of is. Yeah, I don't really I don't if you're gonna ban gambling because it could be bad for kids like then you'd have to use that same rule to be like yeah you can't have a bunch of naked people hanging out when like the majority of the user base is fucking 13 year olds it's just that's weird this girl. Oh, wow. What is the thing that your mouse turns into when you hover it over? It's like my mouse.

It was like a hammer, like a child's mallet. I think if I hit her, maybe she gets a notification and she's going to move or something. Try and bang on her titties. Now we're part of the problem. See how easy that was to be sucked in. I clicked okay i did it i did it hilarious and then i when you click on her titty and watch what happens it makes a little cartoon

explosion when you click her titty um so it's this girl is uh exactly what i was describing earlier she has the camera angle pulled down so that she is showing like three quarters of her whole titty she's probably like missing her nipple by two inches or something like that. And there's a lot of titty to... Look how little and minor the gameplay window is in all this. I didn't know there was gameplay! I swear I didn't see it! I didn't see it!

I swear to God, I'm not even being funny. This is the very beginning of that Pokemon game. I've played it. How long has she been live? Four hours? This is the very fucking beginning he's been live for an hour and 40 minutes dude this is three minutes into that game oh cut scene geez she's got that on loop dude she ain't playing that game is she still live for you

guys yeah yeah yeah okay you know i got banned from twitch because i had the word dick in my username dick masterson we get um demonetized for that a lot because we put your name in our title You know, I got banned from Twitch because I had the word Dick in my username. Dick Masterson. We get demonetized for that a lot because we put your name in our title. And I have to like, yeah, we get demonetized all the time. And by the way, his name is Strawberry Tabby. Strawberry Tabby, we are big fans of yours. We would love for you to come on and bring that camera angle to YouTube. Keep getting bigger.

Camera angle and get up. I want to hear. He comes on and immediately we're like, you're so brave for what you do. I want to, I want the last lady we had on the show was Finster. And, and so I'd like to get this young,

this young innovator, this young entrepreneur S online. And a big old stretch of biological women. Haven't had one biological women haven't had a vagina i can't it's been eight years since a person with a vagina has been on the show let's keep this far as you know i stopped inspecting a few years surgery yeah yeah taylor vibes could go either way yeah taylor is so much more man than me like he's like eight percent more man than me he's like so hairy and like like broad like i've got broad shoulders but he's just so thick i'm gonna i in the in the actual apocalypse like if we saw

you me and my little group we're down to hatchets I'm like dude there's a big guy there's a big guy I don't care if there's food here he'll kill us all we leave because I know you're going to kill us and enslave our women I'd be sitting on a throne of

cheese it boxes daring anyone to come at me and take my carb loads I'd present it to you I'd present cheeses to you like that I'd supplicate to you Cheez-It boxes, daring anyone to come at me and take my carb loads. I'd present them to you. I'd present Cheez-Its to you like that. I'd supplicate to you. I'd appreciate that, and I'd make you my right-hand man. Oh, what an honor.

I'd put you in a gimp suit, like Danny DeVito. Not Danny DeVito. Danny McBride did to that one guy, and this is the end. You would flick me that little red scoopy thing you spread the cheese on with and those little cheesy crackers. You'd throw those to me so I could suckle at the leftover cheesy bits.

I'd have gained so much weight from eating. I'd be sitting there Jabba the Hutt style and you're like hoarding all the testosterone. You're hoarding all the testosterone. I need to cholo-kyo. Making huge dance for me. I hate future man i can't wait till this fucking piece of shit dies of heart disease first guy to die of heart disease in the apocalypse that would be that's the goal actually to stay so successful that your cholesterol is high and

in a post-apocalyptic that's how you win having to consciously diet because you're owning people so hard i'm sorry i didn't realize it'd be so fucking easy to just put people under my thumb turns out i'd like i like to imagine myself somewhere in a deep forest living on venison but we tried that it didn't work yeah i got sick immediately yeah i got sick immediately and then the other time we just didn't ever saw a deer you know we never saw an animal really i don't know what happened i it would be real easy to just die you know if you got sent out there with just yeah here's some tools because eventually you're just gonna like get some dirty water that's that's the

biggest fear if you couldn't boil your water correctly and get sick out there, you'd just die. Alright, this is ridiculous. I'm about to fucking open that stream up again. She's also... This girl also has the hammery thing. But frankly, she's not showing as much cleavage, Woody. I don't even want... She doesn't have as much to show. She's doing her best.

Can I be honest? Don't say her name or anything, but she's... She's not she's not up to par Really? Yeah, she doesn't have anything to teach us I don't think there's anything we can learn from this

young lady Pastille's playing Age of Empires 2 my in She'll probably stay out of the sun You stay out of the sun? I'm still waiting I'm watching a fucking Chipotle ad waiting to see how heavy these hangers are. And you said that they are not as heavy as the previous girl. No, his first girl is the winner.

Dude, I like a woman with back problems. That's a good indicator. You know, I'm genuinely with you on that. Oh, yeah, there's a lot of ladies in here. Zach's coming up with them now. This chick's got her legs spread. This is ASMR, though. I don't fuck with those bitches.

It looks like the rule is that you can show full genitals. For anybody. I know what I'm doing tonight. Getting on Twitch? Getting some subs? I'm going to have to load up some twit my twitch account with a few dollarinos see what i can see no did you see that guy i'm i would i wouldn't do that did you see that poor pathetic motherfucker who had pumped like 60 or 160 000 and is her name

ruby red or whoever that the only fans chick and she's showing she's showing like he looks kind of like um the bad guy in sonic robotnik he's got like round glasses and he's bald and he's unfortunate looking and he has given this only fans girl who i'd never heard of before but whatever like maybe a hundred thousand dollars and his dms are pages of unreplied to i love you so much i want you forever i'll send you four bitcoin no 10 bitcoin right now that's almost four hundred thousand dollars if you'll just talk to me and still still no replies four pages of him like trying to trying to beg his way into her reply. And again, he sent her like $100,000.

And this all stems from, I guess they met recently and took a picture together. One of those real awkward pictures. And she described him in a way that was not exactly, but kind of sort of insulting. Like, hey, this guy is my biggest donor. hey, this guy is my biggest donor. And it's like, imagine giving someone $60,000 and her referring to you as this guy. Oh, I think those are the lenses, those Ray-Ban lenses that have the camera in them. I guess he's like recording his whole encounter here

because why wouldn't you? 20.5 million views. I saw him do an interview this morning where he says it's a hoax uh i don't know i don't know if he's just uh i'd rather believe yeah i really hate those pants dude look at those pants free publicity but that's real those could be like really rich guy pants i can't tell anymore oh i'm sure that they are i'm sure they are but like have you seen those pictures of someone who looks like absolute dog shit and it's like check out my

drip and it's like you're an idiot like that outfit cost you 31 grand i hope you're rob conye wearing the hood i saw it but it's black so it's cool he's wearing a black Klansman hood on stage. And I was like, that's too far. But then they played like 45 seconds of this one track that he's about to and it was like, he got me back again. He got me right back in. I went to his subreddit which used to, they turned it into like a Jewish memorial a while back.

But I went there and they're like, yay, doing it again. He's about to drop a banger like they've already went back dude everybody likes his music like nobody nobody ever went in and was like oh that kanye guy fucking idiot he doesn't know how to make a tune it's like no he's really you don't like his music you have to acknowledge that like people like his music that it's very good to people who want that you know yeah like he's the kind of artist that like i won't music that it's very good to people who want that you know yeah like he's the kind of artist that like i won't know who's on the radio or whatever and i'm like this is really fucking good and then you check and it's like oh it's kanye of course like he usually

makes good stuff except for sneakers those things are good they are ugly as shit but you know i appreciate him doubling down and wearing a clan hood hood. Because, like, he's black. He's wearing a black hood. If he had the rest of the robes on, there might be a little much. No, I thought that was a movie from Spike Lee or something. Hey, I could be wrong. Yeah. I wanted to ask you this, Dick.

Do you follow MMA? Not at all. It doesn't matter. All right. So I want to ask you about, Dick. Do you follow MMA? Not at all. It doesn't matter. All right. So I want to ask you about in the world of trash talking, if you're trash talking an opponent, is there a line? You know, like if we're about to fight or maybe it's just internet beef or whatever, but two men are trash talking publicly,

knowing that they're doing so publicly. Where is the line that we don't cross? Well, you can't lose the crowd if you're trash talking. I think that's all that matters. and so publicly, where is the line that we don't cross? Well, you can't lose the crowd if you're trash-talking. I think that's all that matters. If you could make it funny, you could say anything. Dead relatives? Oh, yeah. Well, a guy on our side went to Eric July's great-great-great-great-grandfather's grave

and took a picture of him. Did he stand on it? He did a peace sign like that meme of the guy that's okay but that's but you didn't disrespect it though oh he just i mean he disrespected the shit eric july was very disrespected uh and that's what he hates most i bring this up because I just watched a Twitter video from the UFC press conference, and Colby Covington is dressed up like General George Washington wearing a MAGA hat,

sitting next to the British champion in his weight division, who he's going to fight Saturday night. And he's been talking about sending the Brits back empty-handed and continental this and that. But he said, I'm going to take you to the seventh circle of hell Saturday night so you can say hello to your dad, who is dead. And Leon Edwards threw a bottle at him, and they had to jump up,

and they had to be separated. And it's like, damn, dude. I don't think that dude has said anything that bad to you other than, yeah, I'm going to show up to the fight and give it my all. I'm going to whoop his ass. You you'd expect a fighter to say about another fighter but he's in the seventh circle of hell what's that reserved for um oh that's for like uh that's for like traitors probably like speak against the church or something side speaking against the church or something like that like are like the worst ones

that would be it's for violence that would be the last place to say your fighting opponent's dad is you'd want to say he's in like the sodomy circle yeah i thought that that leans on a lot of people knowing the inferno and dante yeah the seventh circle of hell i thought was like the good one i don't know. That's Seventh Heaven. Oh, Ninth Circle of Hell. He should have gone with Ninth. With Jessica Beals.

So you got the first one is Limbo. Second one is Lust. See, Twitch is sending a lot of people to the second circle right now. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Is Bluntney's Sports and Lust? I might see her in the seventh circle too. Does that kill himself because that would be hardcore if he nailed the right one for suicide that would be funny damn thieves and liars lower than the sodomites seems like there's a lot of

overlap in a lot of these this is an ordered list yeah first uh in in dante's inferno like this isn't like catholic canon or anything this was just in the book yeah really good uh which is an interesting book it's on hbo uh the animated version is really good i think it was made for the game that came out and dante's wife is taken down to into hell and he has to go through each of the you know layers fighting demons and evil to like get to her and i think he's like he's dressed like a crusader knight i remember correctly it's a fun animated thing that's a good costume for halloween a crusader you don't see that much anymore i have joked in one of those palestinian things dressed up as like a full-on like french crusader reminding another loss leon edwards father was killed when leon edward was

13 he was shot and killed in a london nightclub over a dispute about money well there you go probably a touchy subject nonetheless um yeah you know what the dead dad thing i would be more sensitive about kid talk i feel like that is a when you were talking about lines not to cross I was like yeah. Probably leave the wife and kids out. Definitely leave the kids out. Like they're children. Except for what Izzy did I approve of. Yeah that was okay. He started it. Dead parent like that's tasteless

but it's like not anything like making fun of like a living child. You know. Cause then like you're bringing them in the mix. That's not cool. And your platform's so big. A kid can't fight back. He's just going to get abused and lose and it's a child.

So if his option was make fun of the guy's kids or make fun of the guy's dead dad, I think he took the high road. Strong point. I like it. Don't tell him that. He probably didn't know he had kids or something or he just said something he's an awful kid fuck colby's my favorite fighter who's fighting it's he's took two fucking years off but he's fighting saturday so he's fighting uh he's my favorite one because he puts on the best show uh but both like out of the ring and in the ring it's i love it

he's a boring fighter he has heart though which is a thing I admire a lot. Kamaru Usman broke his jaw. He did get knocked out. Well, TKO'd in that fight. If he wins and Donald Trump steps into the ring and puts that belt on him, that's going to be hilarious. Hilarious. He said he would. Trump said he would.

Trump's going to be ringside right there. Like I said, Colby was wearing that suit that's the donald trump mugshot on the back like obama eyes if you know what i mean that red and blue oh yeah poster yeah trump signed that bitch and sharpie on the front like he was down in mar-a-lago this week it's it's gonna be funny i love that donald trump shows up to the the ufc events because they're i don't know it's not like when he shows up to a ball game like a baseball game it's like yeah he's way up there in that little box or whatever he's just right there next to the cage it's funny have you seen that funny video of uh like trump walking in to the ufc event and it like looks like it's a video of trump but then

it's just like zooms in past him and And it's like Shane Gillis's face. Like, like, oh, like what? Like Trump. It's very funny. Like still like you could you could tell his thoughts from his face. Like, holy shit. That's fucking Donald Trump. He walks out.

He walked up to American badass. So that it's like, why does Donald Trump have? Yes. Yes. Trump had walkout music trump walks out like this is like two or three events ago the what american badass starts playing they shoot some pyrotechnics or whatever and out comes donald trump kid rock and i maybe tucker carlson or mike tyson i can't remember which and and also dana white and they're they're like they come out

together and then they all sit together in their little area right next to the cage uh it was absurd because of course he's like fist pumping while the song plays and get their skin rock next to him they got some vips like it's it's it's like white trash overload it's just like okay it's a beautiful thing i love it i i'd see that as something money can't buy. Or not really, but you know, like Dana White sitting next to him, being a part of the show like that, that's access. That's not material goods. You think Trump's

like an actual fan of UFC, or he's just like, ah, this is my crowd. Like, these people are all really stoked on me. He used to, a lot of the UFC events would be at Trump properties in the past, and he has a good really stoked on me. He used to, a lot of the UFC events would be at Trump properties in the past, and he has a good working history with Dana White, I believe.

Yeah, I'm mixed. So Kyle's definitely right. Way back before UFC was a super popular sport and they needed venues, Trump provided an event. They would fight Atlantic City in a Trump hotel. This is like the 90s. And it's

like, okay, does that make Trump a fan or a businessman? I suspect a businessman. He's like, yeah, we host events here. You're looking for a place to host events? Win-win. Boom. Now, I think Trump goes... I think Trump likes to do things that makes him feel good about himself

and going to UFC events makes him feel good about himself. And I bet he likes it too. Watching people fight each other is a show. He's got that crowd. That crowd is way more pro-Trump than a baseball crowd. He went to the playoffs last year in the baseball camp.

I'm not sure where, but he got a considerable amount of boos and lock hims up. Then he goes to the UFC and everybody fuck yeah, it's true. Like a burger, great idea. Fuck it, get your butt locker up and drain the swamp.

And everybody has a meltdown. It's a beautiful thing. I like it. I get a little pumped. Yeah. God damn it. I'm going to vote for you again, Don. That's not what Kyle's thinking. Yeah, but that's what Taylor's thinking though. That's why it'm going to vote for you again, Don. That's not what Kyle's thinking. That's what Taylor's thinking, though. That's why he's going to win. I'm voting for you, too.

Oh, is he going to carry Missouri? I'm voting for a talented gentleman like Taylor. Without me, how's he going to win Missouri? It will be tough. You think if I don't vote, he's just going to blow out the competition here in middle America? I made an argument that no one was running against him yet on pkn but i saw a bunch of polls more recently and it's like yeah you're lying if you say he's not winning is he like as hated as i imagine he is in la dick like persona non grata everybody like oh you

maga people fuck off i don't know man They're kind of all the whole Israel-Palestine thing split both sides in two, I feel like. They're more distracted. I don't hear about Trump a lot anymore. Interesting. I'm sure that'll change. I'm sure that'll change at the start of the year. I feel like Biden just praised Israel. He should leave it there.

Oh, Israel. They have an amazing Israeli defense force. They're more than capable of handling this on their own. Praise them. Praise them and don't do shit. That's the approach I would want Biden to take. That's mostly what we're doing. Anything that keeps us out of it, I'm good with that.

They're dropping white phosphorus bombs on civilians, and they look at the bombs and they're american made really okay that's not a secret like you know that's yeah that's not a secret i thought that was a big like hey don't don't be dropping white phosphorus on people did israel agree to not drop phosphorus on people they're the ones doing it i know did they ever agree yeah yeah they're doing it did they ever say they wouldn't do they they're the ones doing it i know did they ever agree yeah yeah they're doing it did they ever say they wouldn't do they ever they're not like my bad they're like isn't it like geneva convention stuff like where everybody's supposed to be on the same same page i don't fucking know i don't

know what is real signed it's easy to win debates i don't know yeah what i'm saying is like nobody cares anywhere about the phosphorus thing. It seems to be effective, you know, see if we could burn them alive, that'd be good. That works real well. They did Russia.

I saw Russian shooting white phosphorus too. You can see it. And so outraged over Russia doing it. Well, yeah, I didn't like that. I like Ukraine. They're the good guys,

Woody. I mean, when you're right, you're right. White hats and black hats it's that simple israel ratified the geneva conventions on july 6 1951 did the current israelis sign it no they signed it in 1951 i don't think bb plays by his own rules over there i think those were actually 5,000 pound bombs

on civilians. Harley's tuning in. Yep, those were illumination flares. Oh, were they? Illumination flares. Thank you, Harley. Wildly successful illumination is what they achieved. It stayed lit for three days.

Yeah, you see some wild shit over there where I thought that was like a Palestine propaganda thing for a bit where they're like, they're bombing the routes that they're telling us to leave by. And I was like, I don't know about that. But apparently that's true. Yeah, apparently they've been firing off into those areas. Hard to find a good guy in that. A lot of not chill stuff going on. You guys blew up a refugee

camp. Well, there was terrorists in it. Okay, well, then why did you keep blowing it up when they're dead? Well, because then everyone else became a terrorist because we're blowing it up. Yeah. All of Israel is run by Kramer in my mind. I literally

go back and forth. I literally go back and forth depending You're not going to believe it. I literally go back and forth, depending on what channel I'm watching. They could sway me back and forth on this one, which is usually a good indicator that there's probably not exactly a good guy anymore. There was, at one point, I'm sure, there was that first guy. He was like, ah, why? Who even are you? But that's so long ago that it doesn't matter anymore.

Oh, hello, my friend. You're coming to live here also? Surely you don't want my house wrong uh swinging a miss on that assessment sir that might have happened um but uh but at this point like it's just mayhem over there and i talked earlier about how it looked when i saw like hundreds of those palestinian men on like tied up on the ground like abu grabe style it was like shit where are they taking them i hope it's hope it's hope it's a nice place yeah it's a nice place you look at a very nice farm for you it is i'm sure sure they stripped these men down naked, hog-tied

them, put them on the back of large trucks and took them to a luxury resort. They're putting them up in a Ramada in Tel Aviv until they can work out where to send them. Sandals. I'm a little afraid they're taking them somewhere to dig a hole.

Then that could be the case. I wouldn't want to see that. I wouldn't want They're taking them somewhere to dig a hole. Then that could be the case. Yeah. Well, I wouldn't want to see that. I wouldn't want them to use American shovels to dig the holes. I'll say that. There are American shovels? I thought they were all made in China.

We don't make anything. All we make is bombs. We make the worst shovels on Earth now, probably. We make the best bombs. We can blow you up a hole, but you can't dig anything with ourself with it yeah we don't make we make war stuff and other than that what do we make nothing make money make money make money what do you make frank we make money you know what do we i think the war stuff supports everything else though right it's the it's the one you know it's the second Amendment allows you to have the First Amendment and the Property Rights Amendment, which at fourth or fifth or sixth, whichever one that is.

One of the good ones. One of the good ones. One of the good ones. Yeah. Top ten. I think our powerful military allows us to exert all sorts of pressure economically. Where did we lose our way? Was it the 14th, the 19th?

Was 19th the women voting one? Yeah. I think we nailed it, boys. Voting the marriage shit, income tax, IRS all happened right at the same time. Yeah. And I see that graph. I see that graph you'll occasionally post, Dick, that I you're like oh what changed in 1971 it's like women being allowed to open credit cards it was like mostly like whatever debt and then

skyrocketed you give credit cards who pays off their student loans between women and men and with men it's like kind of this normal payoff thing and women is like like oh we don't pay off shit wow what's your degree in must be something that's good yeah i bet it's more common for women to get worthless degrees yeah they're all social sciences and then they never pay them off yeah yeah like guys are in like engineering and I imagine the guys that are doing engineering are paying their shit off yeah yeah well engineering

lands big bitches right like if you want to make money and live that lifestyle there's certain majors we all know what to do fucking petroleum engineering is the highest paid major and it's 98% guys. You think they're passionate about fucking oil?

No, they're not passionate about oil. They're making money. They're probably someone who likes engineering and is like, all right, which one of these avenues pays the most? Well, I don't want to do civil. Roads are boring. I'll do this. Or chemical engineering, like work for a pharmaceutical company, make insane on behalf of some some really shady people what's this average undergraduate loan debt one year after graduation by oh there's a funnier graph than that wait non-conforming is the worst

man by a lot of genders selected is actually the best see that's because those are the engineers who are like i am not going to be punished for being east asian like i'm looking at a bunch of boxes here bitch oh 40 men and women are about like over 10 years let me i'll try to find it it's hard to make any sense of this men and women are about the same gender non-conforming is terrible but multiple genders is the best oh this, this is one year, though. Yeah, I think Dick had one that was like a long-term view of it that shows over time it really becomes disparate. Zero to nine.

$60,000 of debt. Jeez. $60,000 plus. So most of those people aren't sitting there with $61,000. Right, but they make it seem like everyone leaves with triple digits of debt now. This makes it seem like most people are $25,000 and under. They are. The average is like $23,000, I think.

Average student debt owed by race and gender. Black women, white women, black men, white men, Hispanic men, Hispanic women in descending order. So Hispanic women, least amount of debt owed by race and gender. Probably because per capita maybe they're not going to school as much. I don't know. Yeah. You take away the two women at the top and the numbers are

the same. Yeah, they're real close. Yeah. What is this? Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis. I didn't know we had a Federal Reserve Bank. St. Louis is a cheap't know we had a Federal Reserve Bank. It's probably a crappy one. Probably one of the worst federal banks. You're probably not proud of St. Louis.

St. Louis is a legit city. You got shit going on there. It's a legit city, but every time we're in the fucking news, it's embarrassing. Oh, we won't time off again. A hockey team and a baseball team we do we got we got we're a real town but it's just maybe an inventor sometimes maybe maybe maybe a prominent inventor composer someone like that coming out of st louis other than i guess we've made a lot of

professional athletes but that's it. When you say you made them, you mean they moved there and played? No, St. Louis disproportionately, a lot of athletes that you wouldn't expect come from here. So I don't know. Maybe it's all the nuclear testing they did here in the 50s. Is that a reputable institute, the Jane Family Institute? I don't know. Percentage of original 2009 balance.

2009 balance. So this is way back. Yeah. Did you find your graph? That's the one I posted in there. I have a question. Is there any data for how much of women's student loans men pay? Or if we're doing credit card debt, that. Yeah, it's right here.

See when the women's student loans start uh plateauing and then going down eventually that's what the men have been paying you see that dotted line that's when they get married when women start working themselves out of the hole right there is where it turns out we're working themselves this can't be true it can't be true well it's on the women wouldn't do that to us you know uh you're right they wouldn't take advantage of us that way if you were a woman would you want to be a stay-at-home mom taking care of the kids or someone with a career? 10,000% stay-at-home mom with the kids. 100%. Time it.

Fuck careers. It depends how pretty you are. Okay. Show me a picture of a woman, and I'll tell you what I would do if I were her. Dude, I'm going to be a fucking dog of a woman. I know for a fact. I need to be a stay-at-home bitch. I need to be a

drink-in-hand, end-of-the-day kind of bitch. If you're Roseanne Barr, you better get a skill. You know? Like, go to trade school. You're going to need trade school. Okay? Yeah, you're going to need an HVAC. Your nickname's going to be Barb now, and you're going

to be Barb's fix-it-all company. You're going to have an HVAC. Your nickname is going to be Barb now, and you're going to be Barb's fix-it-all company, and you're going to have three or four trucks under you eventually, but it's going to be hard going in the early years. Fucking shingles on each shoulder as she carries that shit up the ladder in her roofing job. Dude, that's so much harder than just like, would you rather as a woman work for a boss and be provided by a boss who doesn't like you and would fire you or by a

husband who loves you. That's way better. And you get to spend all day with your kids. Women love being around kids. There's huge differences. Huge differences, right? I have to trust you. Oh, I'm going to be an uneducated, no career history, no job history, no skills, and trust that you're going to make enough money that if you decide to be a wife-beating crazy person halfway through a relationship, I can leave and have a decent trajectory in life. I have to just trust that you'll do that for me? I don't know. You don't even have to trust. Big Daddy government will come in and take your wife-beating money. And I would imagine that most husbands don't wake up one day.

What I'm saying is I have to trust trust you make enough money for me to take i have to trust that you'll make enough for me to take what if you're not on top of being a wife eater you're a you're a deadbeat at work too you know what if what if half of nothing isn't is still nothing you know that's what you get for liking bad boys for any of of your choices Kyle you've perfectly become a woman I would never marry a woman or a man because I just feel like it's a raw deal either way like we can go find a medicine man and he'll marry us

in the eyes of whatever the fuck but if you get the federal government involved I'm sus right away yeah steer clear of that don't do that last time I went to the courthouse it didn't go so well you couldn't drag me Yeah, steer clear of that, muchacho. Don't do that. Last time I went to the courthouse, it didn't go so well. You couldn't drag me.

No, I'd a million percent rather be with my kids than have a job. Are you kidding? You wake up in the morning and your responsibility isn't like, you have to finish this paperwork for my shit dickhead boss. It's like, oh, I got gotta make breakfast for those kids I like. Dude, you're just... The idea that you like the kids, like, I don't even like my dogs all the time. You know what I mean?

Would you rather hang out with your dogs and feed them or go get a job? All right, if someone paid me to be a dog mommy, but see, I pay a cleaning lady to come in and clean as well you can still do that just choose i wouldn't want to clean this place there you go see that's why i need to know how pretty i am thank you yeah yeah if you're kate upton a wonderful life and how about this you're a you're a five probably makes more money than

baseball player what's what you're a five out of ten you're you're as average as it You're not overweight Can I interrupt you Taylor? What kind of 5? Do you actually mean an average woman? Because people call ugly people 5s I would Whatever like Show me a picture 5'4 and 175 pounds

That's enormous So yeah that's Is that really average? Yeah. Is that me on the far right? I'd fuck me. Damn. You guys are cute. I like that they choose Taylor's

glamour shot, and they choose the worst two pictures they can find. Dude, they put me through a handsome filter before they did it. Taylor got double filters. What is crying in that one? Dude, I made a short video. Dude, from now on on this show, don't put my video on.

Just put that picture up as a still. I did a video as a goof where I grew my beard out for like four weeks or something. And as I shaved it off, I did like mutton chops, weird goatee, funny this or that, Hitler mustache. And then at the end, I use like Visine or maybe water to like fake a teardrop. Oh my God, that teardrop

fucking picture has been posted on Reddit so many times now. You'd think that's my normal look. I don't know. It was a bit for video. I thought you were like a real actor and that you like got yourself that I actually cried for Shane

I was gonna be like damn he's a good fucking actor he can just summon that no you took you destroyed my illusions of you being a great actor all I know is the idea of being a middle-class stay-at-home mom

sounds horrendous. Really? I would rather work every day and swing a hammer than be a middle-class mother of two. You're a woman in this. That's what I'm saying.

If you see that's your your path in life you better start swinging early you're gonna have to be a bitch a butch what's so terrible about being a regular like a soccer mom oh my well you're a slave now like you you can't leave there can be no like weekend trip like babysitter has to be arranged child care has to be arranged and and forget the fact that if i were to be a parent, it would be my goal to make them the super people, right? Like, you need me all the time. You need support. You need education.

You need this, that, and the other. You're my new full-time thing. Oh, my God. It's prison. It's prison incarnate. How is it? You got to be a better mom. You got to be like my mom.

Be like, okay, it is 9.30am. Come back when the streetlights turn on and not before that. But you're using chemicals as therapy now because of that upbringing. You do intense ketamine therapy to try to deal

with that upbringing. 2021. That was a while ago. That's what they tranquilize cats with that upbringing. That's 2021. That was a while ago. That's what they tranquilize cats with, man. Yeah. That's why I get you moving. Or get you not moving. I think of all my mom's free time, huh?

Yeah. You just don't want kids, and the idea of having a kid at all poisons you against the hypothetical. If you're going to have kids... Think about it this way. Would you rather have kids as the stay-at-home housewife and be the stay-at-home housewife or have kids as a woman who also has to go work for some shithead boss doing like menial you know

administrative work obviously obviously i would ret home that's so i would rather do that the office work and have the kids if my husband is going to pay for like child care and and like keeping me at because being out of that house is going to be everything that's going to be my fucking day that's where i'll meet mark my new husband and you're gonna have you're gonna have a work husband dude you're a dirty whore mark's mark's my boss's boss and he comes in the third saturday of every month and that's when i wear this dress yeah he's he's a vice president at the german conglomerate that owns our emotional affair or are you banging mark well it'll start a homewrecking bitch we're gonna start

off a little flirting i'm gonna you know like we we're going to be a little nebulous thing, but we're heading toward like take half of Taylor's money and take off with Mark. That's where we're heading. I've already picked a divorce attorney. Fuck. Get more money if you had kids, though.

That's true. Yeah, but I ruined my body and Mark really appreciates my abs. Okay. What if it's like a Janet Jackson situation where the super rich guy wants to pay you as like a concubine to stay with him? Oh, that'd be fucking sick.

Oh, that would be the best. Yeah, yeah. Like what kind of pay? Like a hundred bucks. If I'm getting like fully supported as a concubine, like I've got my own place, my own car. If I have like a bill that comes up that's like, hey, I'd like to buy a $25,000 frivolous thing, daddy.

And he's like, no problem, get two. Yeah, that's all right. I can get on board. You made me a concubine. It's just money. The middle class concubine and the upper class concubine, you just need a dollar figure to settle on. Huge differences between being a middle class concubine

or an upper class concubine. But it'd still be better to be the stay at home mom concubine than the fucking putting together Excel sheets. That would suck. I'll put those Excel sheets together.

And you're working some bullshit job that doesn't even pay enough to pay for child care. It's all about my insurance. Your husband must have a shitty job. You married a real fucking loser. That's your problem. He's a good man. You should have listened to your mom.

I'll have you know he's a freelance architect. Have you seen the new edition of the Guggenheim? Oh, so he draws? Have you seen the new edition to the Guggenheim? That's me. Little George Guzman. What about you, Dick? Would you rather be the stay-at-home mom or the work-a-day mom?

Can I be a drunk stay-at-home mom? You can do whatever you please. Yeah, actually. If you can pull that off. Just going to be like taking mom naps at like 3pm yeah I think they had Valium for moms like me um I don't know if they still do don't get fat on your wine

back in the day you could just go to a doctor and he'd finger you get you off what as a woman remember they'd be like this woman's hysterical she needs to come they would finger her they'd finger her they'd use medical vibrators they had steam powered vibrators they like putting a little bit of coal in this thing and getting it fired

and vibrating and getting them off i saw one on reddit the other day yeah dude it would be a hilarious youtube video so i went to their doctor and said they were hysterical i'm hysterical you're just art as a rock. This is Odita Bluetooth. Get me off, please. What can you do? Man, this is the fifth time this week. You don't seem sick. Let's do that thing where I cough again.

Oh. What the hell is this? Is that a medical vibrator? I don't know. Is that part of a fishing rod? Is that circular thing the button pusher? It's like a sander. No, there's a little thumb switch down there,

but you see that sanding pad there? That's rusted from salty discharge. Those ladies were filthy back then. Oh. I don't think you understood what I said by button pusher. That's not the on and off switch. That's not the button I was referring to. i was thinking that they probably attached a dildo to that oh we're going old school i have a drill like that this is ghastly like i don't like whatever this is

why i don't know how i agree hand dogger i don't understand what what is going to move when you turn that. It's like a milkshake machine. That little thing down at the bottom that looks like the end of it. Oh, well, I've got one of those. Dude, you see a guy walking around with one of those, you know he fucks. Does this make my finger fall out?

Or does this thing have a... I don't know what touches the girl. Yeah, this is going to make your... You probably saw that thing on... Radio radium. That's probably... They do use Radium. They use those... You probably saw the little trend where everybody was taking

their Vibra guns and sticking it on their hands and showing that their finger goes like crazy town. It's one of those, but from the fucking, I don't know, turn of some century. So you touch the girl with your own hand in this. I mean, this looks completely impractical i'd rather punch somebody with this and fall out it looks milwaukee what does that do you have to

suck the bad humors out what is this though i don't i don't recognize is that a suction a horse inseminator what is that a concrete vibrator vibrator oh yeah yeah are you familiar with pencil vibrators no does it make the concrete settle? Yeah, yeah. It gets the bubbles out of the concrete, and you want in concrete the aggregate, the big stones to go low, and the smooth sort of liquidy stuff to go to the top.

And by putting in that thing and making it vibrate, it encourages that to happen. Very cool. Well, I bet that would be a fun sex toy. I'm going to price that out later you know they make dildo attachments for those vibra vibra guns you know they're like massage guns that are crazy powerful they're a gun uh-huh they're a gun thank you i've got a knockoff that was like 45 50 bucks off amazon but it seems i've got both now and they both work the same to

me but i gotta you need a dildo attachment for that thing so you just got like a crazy cock on the end of and it's a pistol grip which everyone loves it's the best way so you're like down there like you're fucking like tim the tool man taylor yeah you're tim the tool man taylor down there just jacking jacking her off yeah oh man you got a hard milwaukee tool is oh shit between four hundred and $1,000. I'm going to rent mine. Yeah. I'm going to go to the equipment leasing place.

See, now that's a funny hidden camera bit. You go to the equipment leasing place. You try to lease a pencil vibrator, but you let them know you're going to be using it on your wife. Genius. They have one for $90, maybe like a Harbor freight version. Oh, I really wanted to Walt. Dick,

do you game at all anymore on Twitch or do you, are you still doing your piano streams? You're singing. Uh, no, I haven't really done any Twitch streams. Um, while you guys were having that big,

uh, uh, rocket shooting day, I was, uh, I was finding all the stars and stamps in mario 3d world from uh 2012 that was a pretty big accomplishment full weekend yeah yeah i spent a full weekend doing that it's pretty cool that that sounds boring as shit what what game is that

mario 3d world i never played mario 3D World. I quit Mario after Super Mario 64. What? Why? Because I was like 10 playing it, and I was annoyed that I couldn't get the final. I didn't know. I didn't have the guide, and I didn't know where to go to get the last couple stars, and so I got sick of it and just quit.

Same with Donkey Kong 64. I searched high and low on every island with every ape even the orangutan who shot the peas out of the fucking uh yeah shooter and i could not find like the last few golden bananas lost interest quit it never go back my girlfriend and i are playing the new mario game but it's like like we can only play it together, so we're only on like World 3, and it's kind of like aggravating because she goes to sleep early for school

the next day, and I'm like, alright, well, I guess, who wants to play the same game for six hours? Not me! I guess we'll just wait for next weekend! Is she bad at it? Are you like the way better player? Well, I mean, you know you're obviously something the better player you're the man y'all know how women drive it's fine um yeah but it's you play at the same time so but it's still the can't play until

you should uh you should play lethal company did you like it taylor you i never got your full review we ended up playing separately i got on and hated it so much that I got off and uninstalled it. Oh, no, you should reinstall it. It's exactly what we talked about. It's basically this game, and it's kind of like Among Us. It's not similar to Among Us, but it's like a game where the gameplay isn't really what it's about. It's about working together and the silliness and nonsense that

happens but you're basically you and three other people it's supposed to have a max of four players but all my friends that are playing it we downloaded a mod so you can have up to 32 people on a team and so we've been playing with like eight nine people and you are these space basically trash men who are on this crappy ship and you have to fly into these like abandoned planets that have monsters and problems and like quicksand and and places to fall and die and you have to collect your quota of whatever goods you can find so you might be like oh i found a nuclear light this is really good this is 80 you might be like oh i found a nuclear light this is really good this is 80 you know space units oh i found this plastic uh piece of like brush or something that's only worth like four and so you and this team you're going out and you're trying to collect

stuff but the game chat works the way that a lot of others do like i imagine i think you said rust is we're like it's proximity chat and so you can only hear the people that are close to you and if you're like in some shitty warehouse you hear them like echoed and they echo you know more of the further you get away fades um if you're in a canyon it echoes like that and you are having to communicate using walkie talkies and uh usually someone stays back at the ship because there's a little module there that tells you where stuff is as your teammates search out.

And so you're having to like... Is it shopping? You just go... You're basically looking... It's not like you're walking around and seeing a bunch of different stuff. You might spend 10 minutes... You're in a maze of a building.

You're in a maze of a building, or you're in a maze of a wildlife, and there's monsters that are kind of fucking creepy. There in a maze of a building or you're in a maze of a wildlife and there's there's monsters that are like kind of like fucking creepy like there's like a torso monster that some of them are pretty pretty spooky and you have like no defense the only weapon you can buy the way you get money in it is like you have to use some of the funds you got from selling stuff and the way it works is you have to like every three days go to the company and put your stuff on this platform and then make it as an offering. And if it's enough, you get to go back and continue with like a now higher quota, but you get to keep the flashlights, the walkie talkies

that you still have. Whereas in the beginning, like the first run, you really don't have any walkie talkies. You don't have any flashlights. You just have to go out there and look. Let me ask you this and the more people that die every death attributes a penalty to your quota so if like everybody goes out and dies it's not just like oh we had a bad run it's like no you're gonna lose fucking everything and so if someone dies and you hear them and the way it goes it's funny it's like me and my buddy you know tyler are running around he's he's like there's a monster over here and it's like oh, he got him. Someone got Tyler.

Should I wander in? I need to get his body because we're really close to quota and we can get five points for his body if I can retrieve it. But if we don't retrieve it, then we lose 20% of our total take because we lost a body.

And so you're in there trying to pull it out and recover. It's a silly game, but it's really fucking fun. It's a silly, fun game. It's fun to hear someone on the walkie-talkie be like, copy, there's bottles here. Just found some bottles.

There's a noise. And then they scream and freak out, and then it cuts off because they're being chased. And it gets your heart pumping because the monsters are so poorly rendered and ridiculous that they're almost spooky like they're it's a monster you should try it there's a monster that records your voice and then plays it back to your teammates oh yeah predator yep yeah i did i didn't get to the part where there's fun i couldn't figure out what was supposed to be fun how far did you get into monsters you know you can kill the monsters

you just have to have a shovel to hit them with and you're not going to win most fights that really ups and so that means it's like it's not a fighty game it's a survival game and i don't i don't like that i want to kill the monsters it seems what i'm getting at is if at no point we're going to get so much junk collected that we're badasses and now the tables have turned monsters that's what i need to grind towards otherwise it seems like i'm like oh look i got a flashlight on my head now so i can find more junk and and now my quarter is higher and now i've got a radio so i can find more junk and it's like, I don't want to find junk. The junk isn't finding the junk wasn't fun.

It was like three games in and me and scum just stayed in the ship. And I don't mean to operate the module. We just didn't want to go. We just let them go around. We won't play anymore. If you don't like it, you don't like it. But like, it's I give it another shot. It is.

Yeah, you should give it a shot. Me and my buddies are playing. I might play tonight after this if they're still on. It seems so simple and easy, but it can go off the rails so rapidly. It's on PC. Yeah, Steam. Ah, shit. It's a $10 game.

It doesn't take anything to run. It's super light. Aesthetically, it's offensively ugly, this game. It's really ugly, but it's fun to be in the ship with your boys and make fun of people who died in stupid ways. There are jumps, like a platformer that they make. In every building, there's one area where you have to jump off of this onto an

I-beam and then crawl across it, get somewhere else. And it will randomly make the jump harder or easier. And I have died so many times just because I'll jump across, kill myself, and then I can hear everybody making fun of me. Or other times, you're like, I'm walking with a big group and I'm like, Hey, there's stuff over here. And then like, I get killed by one of those head monsters that attacks and kills me. And then I'm watching spectating.

I can't talk to him anymore, obviously. And I hear like my buddies going the wrong direction where they're like, maybe one of those monsters takes my voice and is now saying it from a different direction. They're like, Taylor's still alive. He's over here,

but it's not, it's a monster luring them to like, Taylor's still alive, he's over here. But it's not. It's a monster luring them to get them out. See, I like games where me and you go in, and we're like, hey, what kind of clothes you got? Nice, nice. You got a shotgun? Good.

I got a fucking sniper rifle. All right. Let's try to stay alive and try to kill those guys so that we can take their shit, and then we'll have more shit next time we play. We'llash this back at our house any game that gives me that mechanic like rust uh tarkov any escape any uh extraction shooter i guess to some extent dark and darker which i keep trying to get into but i'm just so dog shit at that i can't play dark and darker is basically dungeons and dragons um except you go in with your if you go when you get killed by other players they if they take your shit they take it out and now they've got your shit and

they can sell it to buy better shit so the longer you play the more money you make and now you're with a fancier hat and a bigger like uh let's just a way more in-depth game than this like if you're looking for that you won't get it here but like you don't you won't get the chance to accumulate lots of stuff like getting a radio is expensive and so it's not like second game oh everybody has a radio now everybody has a flashlight now great it's like the first game it's like all right we have 40 and flashlights are 15 and radios are 12 there's seven of us uh let's try and keep like a team going here all right we'll get a couple and radios are 12. There's seven of us. Let's try and keep a team going here. All right, we'll get a couple of radios.

And then if anyone who's holding something dies, that's removed from your team. So unless they remember to pick it up and you don't have a huge amount of carrying capacity. And so you're constantly losing shit. One game you might be teched out with, and teched out is effectively a walkie talkie and a flashlight. And then you die.

No one brings your body back or picks your shit up. And now you're potentially in the hole for the next one. Like you're always battling the quota and it's much harder than you would think. And then if you lose and you die, they just take you out and they eject you into space and you lose the game. I want you to play one of my favorite games with me sometime. And that's rust. Rust. We're going to play some rust.

We're playing rust this week. Nothing is required of you. Just log in and like, look around and goof around. You don't need to be good at anything. You can just wander the world of rust and experience. I bought rust a while ago. I will,

I will download it, put it on my PC. We'll play some. And if you change your mind on this game, let me know, because we've been having a good time. Here's the problem. Here's why it wasn't fun. I already know why it wasn't fun. I was playing with people who already knew how to play the game,

so nothing was being explained. They just kept piling the junk up, and I didn't want to play anymore. That was part of it. But also, I don't know which part of the gameplay loop I'm ever going to play anymore that was part of it but also i don't know which part of the gameplay loop i'm ever going to like but i will give it some more fun because the interaction is obviously the whole point of the game a lot of it's just like fucking goofing off like we i didn't know no one in our group told me that quicksand was even part of the game but if you walk into quicksand like your guy gets stuck and then you drown to death and so And so like six of our seven party all like jumped off the front of the ship to try and get an early run into a run.

All six of us drowned to death. And so it was like, no, fuck, like we're definitely going to lose now. People build bases in rust that are like imagine an octagon that goes up for like 10 stories. Each story has horse stalls in them where the ass is pointed inward so you've got like so they're all shitting out and it's falling down to the bottom where they're collecting it and mass producing fertilizer to sell like that's just one of the businesses that people build in rust to finance like the way that they buy guns and ammo and shit they'll trade it.

I think you might be able to make explosions with it. I'm a fertilizer man. Back when I haven't played in a couple years... That sounds way better than your game, Taylor. I'm a horse shit farm. My game does sound pretty fucking gay now. Yeah, Mario.

You're playing fucking Mario. We're playing poo games and trash collector that's what you gotta be doing as a true gamer or true gamesman i like if i when i when i lose i want to feel bad like genuinely upset a little bit and when i win i want not only to feel pretty good about it but i want them to hurt i want they log on, if I've killed them and taken all their shit, I want to be like, fuck! Man, my day's different now because somebody came. I want to do that to them when you kill them in the game. And there's a few games that do that.

Those are always my favorites. The only game I like that does that is Age of Empires 2. Like, I like fucking up somebody's base that they spent a long time on. That's fun. But other than that, I like the quick turnaround games just like call of duty i don't even like call of duty but that's style like oh but that game went shitty two minutes from now we'll be in a new one so dick rust is this survival game where you start out with a rock but you compete with everybody else to get to the point where you're like running around with ak's and armor and night vision and shit and you build your

a base that stays there for days of real world time you're playing this game continuously and uh when people go to sleep because they got school and jobs and shit me and my boys wait me and my boys wake up at 4 a.m and we're everybody and you see everybody logging on at 4 4 a.m. And you see everybody, ba-bloom, ba-bloom, ba-bloom, logging on at 4 fucking a.m. And we go and we blow one of the walls off their base, jump in their shit that they've been grinding for all week, and just kill them. We get what's called building permission, which means now we can build in the structure. We repair the wall we made, and we actually turn it into a door that only we have a key to. So now there used to be a wall here. Now there's a door that's we have a key to. So now it used to be a wall here.

Now there's a door that's not even their door that leads in. And now we're in there with their sleeping bodies. It's like, there he is the mother. And you see their name above their head. And rust is a game where you bump into these guys all day long. You start off with bows and arrows fighting over deer. And then you're like, maybe a semi-automatic rifle and a shotgun,

like hiding out outside of his door he comes out of his house you shoot him in the ass steal all of his shit disappear into the woods he sees your name every time you build this animosity and there's a void in game so they show up and they don't hold back this is a game where people decorate their bases

with swastikas and the n-word like there's no holds barred so people so when you show up in the middle of the night and take all their shit, it feels good. Because now they can't play anymore when you take their bass away. Now they've got to start from scratch.

They've got to go back to hitting trees. Man, this is way better than Mario that I've been playing. I'll play if I can be head of bass design. We're going to have a lot of confusing ideologies swastikas well it's going the wrong way it's going to have a big swastika

with just the thinnest smallest bad pointed at it giant swastika very thin red line right through the imperceptible Except for the right angle Your mic's coming in and out

Like a networky thing Mine is? Yeah it sounds robot-y right? Not for me Oh no is this a sign of things to come? Am I still sounding robot-y to you? Maybe I've had a Nobody hears it but me so it's on my end.

Zach says, no, sir. Okay, we're good. I just noticed your... Vampire Survivor, big time. A couple months ago, maybe over the summer, where... I don't know, have you guys ever played that? Vampire Survivor? I haven't heard of it. What is it? You're like a little guy,

and you pick a weapon, and then you can upgrade your weapons, which is my favorite part of any game and you can upgrade them in like paths so the weapons combine and then eventually you're this it's like gauntlet you remember the old nintendo game gauntlet where you're one guy walking around there's just people coming at you constantly so you got to upgrade your shit faster than they're coming at you um but the best part was every every game only lasted a half hour so i could sit down and go like all right half hour i'll be done i'm gonna go do stuff but then i'd still be there seven hours later on your 14th game uh-huh is it like a first person shooter no it looks like uh it's looks like it's from the 80s it looks like total shit uh it's all

pixelated i don't think i can understand games that have when the graphics are too good i kind of lose track of what's happening when did that happen for you what what was the game that you're like i'm out uh one of the call of duties i remember Or maybe Gears of War 2. Gears of War 1 or 2. I remember sitting down with my brother-in-law going, I feel like a child looking at this. Or like a woman trying to play this game. And I don't think I can catch up.

That was a hard game to play. I always suffered so much at the PvP in the Gears games. I couldn't snipe people. I couldn't perfect the roll and shotgun people. I'd wound them. They'd roll into me and one-tap me, and my body would come apart. They'd pop my head from so far. They'd just fucking roll at me.

It's that hand-eye coordination of just putting that tiny little reticle. You're doing the mouse, but it was console. I couldn't do it. It was like Halo Halo either I couldn't snipe in that game either I have a fun as shit game that I, we rarely play, my girlfriend bought it, she won't play it it's a horror survival game

in VR, so you put the goggles on and you have like a belt, but if you need to reload your gun or change anything you have to do it correctly like you have to put your hand down holster the gun get the axe out and then swing at this as the zombies are coming around and you're kind of in like a it's like a like a old style like concentration camp almost like all the all the walls are wooden and there's spikes and all this scary shit happening oh they made nazi zombies for vr it sounds like

yeah yeah it's terrifying though because you'll hear them coming but you can only see like you can only see where you're looking with your actual head in real life and you can duck and peek and stuff but it's uh it's a fun game have you guys ever seen the gears of war character designer no i just had to try and find one on twitter this guy you know people were like oh these are the most unrealistic character designs ever who designed these this character and you showed this guy's picture holy shit yeah that that's the guy who designed these this character and put a picture holy shit yeah that that's the guy who designed the gears of war characters dude the gears of war characters that were my go-to for like unrealistic body standards for boys so many girls have said oh my god there isn't anyone on

earth who looks like barbie all these women on movies, this, that, the other thing. That's an unachievable thing. You're making girls feel bad. Meanwhile, I'm playing Gears of War, and there isn't a human who's ever lived who looks like those guys. Other than the designer. Yeah, the designer. Yeah, that guy's shredded. I remember I never played Gears of War, really,

because I played once at a friend's house and it was very hard and i was like this isn't for me i'm a cod boy yeah story's still good i've heard the story is really good but it is so different helps out third person shooters are so much more difficult than first person for me like i it's just weirder and i also don't like it as much i think it like some people play Skyrim in third person. I have no idea why you wouldn't just be in the first person position. I go back and forth. I really enjoy going back and forth.

Although when I play DayZ or PUBG or games like that, I always like to play that in first person. I feel like people corner cheat. Anything where it's PvP, it's no good. Because we're both going to be behind the wall looking at the corner where we expose and just like elbow peeking each other and fucking around and like people will sit there and wait and ambush with full view of the whole scene and they they know just when to and just I don't like that I don't like that shut

that down that doesn't seem fair a game called scum found a way to do that they made it so that your what was displayed from third person view was represented by how much of by by what your eyes could see so they would fade out details and especially players it would be kind of blurry what was out there and they wouldn't and if a player was there and you put your eye behind the wall i think he blurs out I'm pretty sure that's how scum works but that's been five six years ago since I played that shit yeah scum's the game

where you get diarrhea if you eat the wrong food though it's a pretty in-depth game you play all these games where you have to like count your fucking macros I don't want I don't want to play that I don't want to be doing math and doing a bunch of horse shit and being like oh my god God, I have diarrhea. My vitamin D must be low.

But, but here's the thing though. Once you know how to like get your vitamins up and eat your kibble and everything, and you get to turn that knowledge on the noobs, you're like, look at him. You can hear him shivering.

Oh, listen, listen, got the flu, that little bitch. I bet he'd do anything for some vitamins hey boy you can have some fun you know because everybody's weak and sick and hungry tarkov's like that to some extent it's not so extreme on the eating and drinking but it's there

you don't get diarrhea at least uh i was scrolling through your your twitter and it reminded me dick I was scrolling through your Twitter and it reminded me, Dick, just back to the Maddox thing. Is that legal to like dox all your fans like that, what he did? Or is that like a free speech thing? How does that work? I don't know. What Maddox has done is insane. I don't think you can.

You definitely can't say that they're a Nazi stalker mob uh i'm sure you can't do it in europe uh i mean if if any country is going to be cool with it it's going to be america but i'm sure you can't do what he's done in uh in any country that has like like juicy smolea what's his video actually called it's not it can't be cuckumentary no it's called uh It can't be Cuckumentary. No, it's called Goodbye, My Career. It's called When Obsession Becomes Stalking

or something. It sounds like a Lifetime movie, the way he's titled it. When Fans Become Stalkers. Yeah, he tries to pass off this shit like I'm some obsessed fan of his. Of his.

Yeah, of his. I don't think that's true. You don't seem to care for him. That's a good spin for him, though. Oh, you think? Yeah, because if you're someone who's brand new to this scene, tell me about this fan of yours. Show me what he does.

Oh my god, is he laughing at that man's cancer diagnosis? This is your fan? How does he have fans? You must be a big deal if your fans have fans. My goodness, your fans have so many fans. You must have a million fans. I like you.

Let me sub. That's what happens. The great way to phrase it. Sound like what you'd say to a woman that just left a battered relationship like there are all these people with paragraphs going like i can't believe you had to endure all this you're just a really strong person it's like bro you got made fun of on the internet and then like sued 20 yeah i mean that does seem like it's what fucking happened and you're right this is the most curated comment section i've seen like like fucking the dnc and rnc have more balls with their comment section it's so bad like and then he's going through like telling them how strong they are for like telling him he's strong it's

like a rape crisis uh hotline it's really pathetic he's his best thing on there... Oh, and it's not monetized because he put so many N-words in it. It's not monetized. He wasted five years, three-hour documentary that he could only do once and not making a dime on it. Now he's re-releasing every section

as its own video because there's deleted scenes in each section. So to keep the video to a reasonable three hours, he deleted some of his crazier receipts. So he's going to be re-releasing every section of this for, I don't know. Dude, second time's the charm.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Dude, second time's the charm. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know how you do it. I'm scrubbing through a shocking number of ends in these screenshots. Just randomly scrubbing through. It's like... Yeah. I don't know how he... Some of these, if not...

5427, is that what Maddox looks like? Does he look like a little goblin? And he's bald with the beard and his aids yeah that's what that's him that's uh he's got the best thing on there is he's got a graph he's got a graph to show how obsessed i am with him like and it's a graph of how many times i've mentioned him on twitter his graph starts and his graph starts in 2021 and he's like here's his here's how much he's obsessed with me look at this is 2021 he's mentioned me 300 times and here's 2020 it's 600 times and then here's and he goes back and here's 2017

and 2016 and it's 1400 times but it's like a reverse time graph. You're showing that I dropped off exponentially talking about him and he combined two years to make it the most. And it was the years that, number one, our show ended and number two, that he sued me for $380 million. Why did you even include this graph if you had to reverse it and combine years it's so stupid he probably made the graph and was like well this isn't compelling maybe a little swap and do a little combine nobody will notice like why did you put the years on it

then does it make any sense and then oh god here's another thing that I haven't even watched this part yet. Apparently, a big piece of the video is him proving that he broke up with who is my now girlfriend. He features her heavily in the video. His video, he wants to show that he broke up with her and that she didn't broke up. She didn't break up with him, which is what I've been saying was actually what happened. Like, it's got to be 10 years ago now so maddox produces this this letter that she wrote him after they broke up which is like oh you know uh i'll never feel about anybody else the way i feel about you like normal chick shit they say to you after they break up to fuck with you you should never be friends with women after you break up with them because they're just

going to try to fuck up your new relationships anyway, which I told him that when they broke up anyway. So he produces this letter and says, see, she was she she still loved me. She said she'd never feel about anyone else. But now here comes the most retarded part. Maddox in his in another lawsuit where he his defense for a restraining order that we filed against him and his girlfriend, which he lost, he put into evidence his psychotic reply to that letter. So this is a letter that I would never have had access to. But for some stupid reason, he put it in a restraining order defense.

And in that letter, the first line is you know what i hate getting dumped and getting a letter like this so it's like this uh he couldn't have he couldn't have supplied more worthless testimony than this retarded video he gave taylor just enough to talk about for like years man it's can you imagine taylor if we had a breakup here and it led to stuff like this like you and i were tangled up in a 300 million dollar lawsuit and arguing over a girl and who broke up with her like publicly can you imagine i can't i literally cannot if we had that much we would behave that way if i had that much beef with you we would fight we would have to fight

and then we over i can why did you why how have you allowed this to happen dick because i've made millions of dollars literally on this on this guy on this like his just total lack of shame compelling yeah understanding you're winning me over yeah it makes sense housewife kyle's getting wet goodness gracious look at this i don't even know don't don't even put it on the page because it's uh he probably has too many n words or stuff but just don't open this neck i just add a roundabout to our house look at how Schizo This doxing website Maddox has made

Appears Like from a normal person looking at this It's got me Me my girlfriend and my co-host Who's done literally nothing to him Then it's got Nick It's got an SS logo Hang on we don't want to show this do we no no don't show this just just

i wanted to like have zach know what everybody wanted because i don't know keep scrolling down then he has 5 000 people like a world war ii memorial who were um who were in like a facebook group for my show in 2017 look at the amount of people on there. I got a question. I'm down to the part where it says meet the hate mob, and there's a four by four block of photographs of guys who all look very related. Those are all different people, right?

Yeah, those are just random people who like called him a cuck on Facebook. Okay, just double checking. They look very similar, all of them. yeah those are just random people who like called him a cuck on facebook and he's okay okay just double checking they look very similar all of them he was for the guy who was like an og of the internet he handles this shit so fucking poorly like has he ever let one thing roll off his back like who gives a shit no because it doesn't seem like it no uh i don't think so i don't know if he's going to start after this but i don't think releasing a three-hour movie to say that you dumped somebody

else they didn't dump you and then breaking that movie up into smaller chunks and re-releasing them over the course of the year is a good way to get your i'm gonna get back in my eighth grade girlfriend you know this one this. This one genius named himself with one of those funky fonts from Microsoft Word that's just symbols. He made out like a bandit. This guy named Zyler, he must be happy that he's at the end of every list, I guess.

Yeah. Zyler. That is insane to have this page up, doxing all those people accusing them of being nazi hang on a second well hang on a second is is there any chance that accidentally somehow or another he's ever been afraid that the quote-unquote hate mob might come get him has he ever been threatened in a kind of a realistic kind of manner because yeah we know when we know uh we know a person online who the threats got so bad and like we're gonna come and get you that he like duplicated the you know everybody's got kind of a

you look at what his background like like this guy duplicated his background like you know you you've got shit behind you he duplicated exactly that and moved to across the country and never let on to anyone ever that he had sold his old house, bought a new house, relocated to a new fucking time zone. He's never mentioned it because he's so

afraid of the serious threats that came his way. All I'm saying is that could motivate somebody to make a website. But I'm sure we're not talking about anything that this is a pretty janky website did he make this like like i mean and no professional could possibly produce uh a website that looks this schizo this is like 90s schizo um if if maddox ever had somebody that he was that afraid of it's one of his fans like he's been famous and such an asshole on the internet for so long he's he's attracted this uh this he's attracted fans who

are like deranged um which he mentions in the video and i know i know that he does but as far as real actual threats go i'm reading reading through this. This is so wild. Dude, it's a pretty fun website to like peruse around knowing that it's about you. When I, because the photos that he's chosen, like vary from almost like professional headshots to like the one of his ex girlfriend here.

It's like Marie, AKA 80s girl, my ex-girlfriend here, it's like Marie, AKA 80s girl, my ex-girlfriend, a contributor to the dick show, despite stating under oath in court that she has zero affiliation with the show. She has signed autographs, made live appearances,

and even provided content and personal. My life in an attempt to humiliate and embarrass. Do you notice how he never capitalizes dick show? Like a petty little me. Not gonna capitalize it. Going to live shows like as my girlfriend. She doesn't do comedy. You know, obviously.

Yeah, this guy's a bitch. I'm glad. I hope that that goes whatever way it should. Throw a $500 million lawsuit across his bow. See how he likes it. That's so bizarre. Have you ever pissed anybody off this much, Kyle? Has anybody ever pissed anyone off this much?

Like this website? I don't think so. I've never had an enemy like this. That's insane. But I mean, it's been a parade of Ws for you. Maybe they hated us as much, but they were more creative than this. It's not how much you hate, Dick. It's how bad you are at it.

Back when I was more relevant, there was, like, a YouTube genre of just talking shit about me. Like, channel after channel. They weren't big, but... Yeah, so you know. Leave them kids alone, man. Even, like, all the Wings, Tings channels, like, they've got more artistic integrity

than what he's doing here. That's insane. Yeah, those channels genuinely seem to. I think Wings is, like, you know, colluding seems like a bad word but i think they work together cooperating yeah that's that's a less sinister word for it yeah he's colluding behind the scenes to hopefully wings is getting a little little piece of that if he's cooperating with him i think that's the deal i i remember like who knows what's real but i

thought i remembered him telling one of those channels that either you give me 20% or I'll copyright strike you. I think he had made a deal like that with somebody. Wings talked shit this week? Oh yeah, I heard it. Do you remember it? He's always so mad. He's always so angry.

He was crying about getting kicked off the show and crying about Chiz and some shit. About our show. He talked shit about getting kicked off the show and crying about Chiz and some shit. He's probably just trying to... About our show. He talks shit about us. Yeah. Yeah. Because he's probably trying to promote his lolcow fucking podcast

with some actual drama instead of fake drama. Ah, well... I didn't know we had drama with wings. I just try to ignore him most of the time unless he does something fun or interesting and then someone sends me the clip of it. But it's been a long time, it seems seems since he's done anything funny or interesting because i haven't gotten a clip in like two years on that trip it was funny because like harley has his like

finger on the pulse like he follows a lot of the the drama shit he's like do you know about the lol cow podcast and i was like yeah i think like wings and boogie and i think that he's like yeah it's like they were talking shit on you guys again. Wings does not like you, Taylor. Oh no, really? That's not,

that's unsurprising. I know he doesn't like me. I didn't take his spot. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. Yes,

you did. Stop trying to rewrite history. Taylor called me and said, you know what? i don't think wings is very good for the show i should have his spot i was like you think i'm loyal to wings and taylor i remember fuck that guy i remember exactly what he said he made a joke he said something like wings can't cut the mustard he's too many sandwiches anyway something like that made a joke yeah yeah this is all he said in a chinese accent did he do that

nobody does this thing kyle does it kyle thinks to go kyle thinks the accent is fine but when i squint my eyes while i do it he said that go too far that's why he does the accent and i make the face and it's okay yeah that's called a distribution of responsibility there. What are we both being racist? How can that be? I dare you call me racist. Oh, that's close.

That was close. Almost didn't overlap. He's straight up. He does not like me. Apparently Harley clued me into that during gun day. Well, you know what that's a shame i wish that he did like you or us i don't care i wish he weren't so sour about things because it's not healthy to hang on to those kinds of grudges and he doesn't really have any reason

to be anyway you know you don't want to be a grudge guy and lefty took his spot you know go get go give lefty beef yeah lefty Lefty was here for a cup of coffee. So really, he was just a nice buffer zone so that I can be technically correct about not taking Wings' spot. Their Low-Cal podcast sucks, too. They're both too big to confront anybody. Yeah. Boogie, if anybody challenges him, he just sticks his ass up in the air. I think he's trying to spread his cancer out to all their listeners.

So, it's fucking horrible. It's so boring. If you're going to be a lolcow, like, you have to play into that and, like, indulge all the drama and the silliness and the nonsense. You can't go on there and be Mr. Serious. Yeah, James trotted out fucking wings. They were asking wings about something controversial, calling him a pussy, and he said, Oh, I'm doing this charity to get backpacks and notepads for poor students. It's like, who gives a fuck about your charity?

Kids coloring books. I'm going to start a charity that will raise more money to remove backpacks and put Wings from children. That's charity. Wings is, you know how in like magic like in skyrim you get like level one illusion level two illusion wings is a level one manipulation wizard and so he thinks that he did this thing a while back with some crippled girl who needed to remember that she thought that if they put her in a bariatric chamber it would like fix her ridiculous nervous disorder and allow her to walk upright and shit Heather hire or something and wings like

he would whatever her name was I forget who's Heather hire she's somebody I got big girls on the brain that help you Ashley something like that I can never forget him sitting there in his best greasy fucking shirt with that notepad clicking a pin to it because he's seen professionals do that when they interview

people like he's got notes it's scribbles on there or his candy list or whatever and she's and this poor little girl is genuinely disabled like she looks like she's got muscular dystrophy or something she's all like crinkled up and shit. And Wings is like, so, poor little crippled girl that I'm recording for internet clout, would a bariatric chamber be good for you? And she's like,

yes, it would allow me to be a human again. And her mama's there like, yeah, we just want little, we want her to be able to be like all the other little girls and wear dresses and go to prom and just live a normal life. And Wayne's like, yes, so how could we arrange this? How could I be poor? And it's just so cringe because you can see through his level one.

Yeah, that's what it was like. His level one manipulation skills. For poor kids. Like, who the fuck? You're a piece of shit. Both of you are two pieces of shit. Oh, wow. You got coloring books for poor kids like what the fuck you're a piece of shit both of you are two pieces of shit oh wow you got coloring books for poor kids man you guys are fucking great imagine a lower stakes lower benefit charity than fucking coloring books for kids yeah oh thanks thanks a lot Is this a barbecue stain? This barbecue stain is in my coloring book, you fat fuck.

All the pictures are already colored. I'm a kid. There's a fight out of it. I think she had cerebral palsy. Fight out of this coloring book. It was something bad. Yeah, she had cerebral palsy. If I understand a bariatric chamber, it's pressurizing the air around you, right?

Yeah, and maybe like high oxygen too. Maybe, but he thought that would cure cerebral palsy. Yeah, it couldn't hurt. It doesn't cure cerebral palsy. They kind of nailed it with the level one manipulation.

It was kind of a transparent thing. I could just imagine we joked about it on the show one person in the crowd gets those dizzy symbols above their head the rest of us are like i want to know that we know right it really worked for him maybe because the audience was young at the time but at the time he got all this praise and like accolades for being such a good person and he's like man i'm gonna like keep this up i'm gonna do another one and another one and continued with the praise and the accolades pouring in i was like i'm gonna one-up you i'm

gonna like go to a nursing home and get loads of sick poor people and eventually i was going to a graveyard like dead people and uh you know raising money for or something fallen soldiers and stuff yeah so yeah so so when he says bad things i'd take them salted with knowledge of things like heavily i'd take it thick skin you know he's i think sometimes you say things and then it maybe only felt that for a short period of time. I think maybe he's just trying to put a show on. Yeah, he can get hot-headed and I know what that's like. It's not trying very hard.

Have you watched much of the Law Cow show? I can only watch it when I'm not watching it, but I have seen enough to know. It's just like, I mean, it's like two, it's like watching lesbians have sex like it's two female parts try there's no interaction they need i don't know i might like this podcast

no you need you need uh some conflict having sex what he took it's 800 pounds of lesbians i mean c is great but he's doing i just the way. I just imagine, it's like, you know what? I like Mountain Dew. I love Mountain Dew. You know what's the best? Code Red Mountain Dew. Remember when you guys used to do candy debates? I want them to recreate that. I love our candy debates because I put a lot of thought into them. The Almond Joy, I still say, is a premier candy bar.

It's a good candy. I don't know. That candy's too sweet. Taylor's candy but it's a good candy i don't know that candy's too sweet taylor's like it's fucking candy yeah well that's a little too sweet for my fucking refined palate it's like okay mr pinky's up eating a reese's cup that didn't yeah that well that's a damn shame to respond to you you're welcome you fat pieces of shit man you're going on here and you're helping lol cow because now they can pretend that we responded for more than three seconds and in sincerity yeah oh they're still they got our like i saw zach say that like boogie claimed we were using his name to drive up views we oh i did absolutely a boogie hanger on yes i did accidentally usually when i

see a boogie title in their post show i'm like do people really care let's put something else in there like we usually don't include i was thinking of edp the other day but i accidentally said boogie and i felt bad about that we corrected it yeah yeah yeah But boogie's a much better guy than EDP by, by all accounts. EDP is a pedophile. EDP is, seems to be interested in the, the 12,

13 year old crowd. Yeah. It's so funny. Like, like I don't, I know we're, we're, we're done here.

We're over time, but like quickly they, they baited this EDP guy in case you don't know, he's a giant fat black guy, uh, online kind of like video maker at one point. And so grown men like our age, white dudes are pretending to be like a 13 year old girl sexting him.

And they're like, send me a picture of your doodoo. And he's like sending them pictures of his doodoo and like all sorts of weird shit like that. Cause they plan to humiliate him when they see him. And I think they made him bring cupcakes. And so that here's this like 400 pound black man in an alley with a bunch of cupcakes and these, and these two white dudes, our our age like roll up on him like yo fatso what's

up you've been looking and just they go right into picking on his weight calling him a pedophile showing the evidence they got pictures of his doo-doo like it's brutal he was dead to rights immediately they had their own weight issues too, which I thought. Nobody was skinny, but it's 400 pounds. He's the kind of guy that I would want a picture with if I were in a public place. Cause I would look svelte. Look real.

I wouldn't look like a pedophile at all. I'm standing next to him, right? You're looking, you're looking like you're into matures next to him. Upstanding citizen over there. You're standing there with your adult girlfriend well thank you so much for coming on we always have

where can everybody find all the dick content patreon.com slash dick.show dick.show biggest problem is every Friday every Friday night at like 6 whatever YouTube slash biggest problem You guys should come on Thanks guys

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