Painkiller Already - PKA 682 W/Mint Salad: Going The Extra Mile, Paid To Be A Giant, Leaking In The Meat Section
Episode Date: January 13, 2024...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
P.K.A. 682 with our guest, Mint Salad.
Taylor?
This episode of P.K.A. is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com,
Lock and Load, and Merrick Health.
Merrick Health.
We'll hear more about them later.
Mint, thank you so much for joining us this evening.
Hello.
Hi.
Nice to be here.
How are you?
How are you doing?
How long is our no-girl streak on this show?
Is it a decade?
I'm counting Finster, goddammit.
Finster's a girl.
All right. I'm doing i'm doing solid mint to answer your question thank you for for being so polite and
joining us for i'm sure a lot of our audience isn't familiar with you can you give us a rundown
on the kind of content you make and how you got started in it okay um so i do daily mover reviews and i also do uh daily sets on fansly where i started though
so i am from i am from the dick showed side of things i actually started i started listening to
the old biggest problem in high school and then i i caught up to where uh the the i caught up to the Dick Show in June 2019.
I was like, oh, there's a bunch of drama that I missed.
And I was a fan of The Biggest Problem.
I was a fan of the Dick Show.
I started doing thumbnails for him.
And through that, I was able to do art for Who Are These Podcasts and Hack the Movies.
In particular, Hack the Movies is why I do daily movie reviews now.
A fun story.
I was supposed to watch the first Power Rangers movie.
I was supposed to review it on a show.
I did review it on a show, but I fell asleep during show but i fell asleep during the movie so i walked on
yeah uh and i walked onto the set and i was being asked questions like oh who is your who
went in a fight like rita or like some mortal kombat character and i picked rita he's like
he would ask me why and i'd produce quotables like oh oh, because of the quick kickiness. Like I didn't know what was happening on the plot whatsoever.
And I did such a terrible job on that movie review
that I just felt I needed to redeem myself.
I just went ahead and started my own movie review show.
I'm currently 500 days in a row straight of movie reviews.
And that's what I'm doing right now.
And my career goal is to be a colorist for comic books.
You know, because I've just been doing art all my life.
I'm an artist.
I just knew that I always wanted to be an artist.
But I didn't quite like know like which
direction to go so i learned how to do all of it the line art the coloring it wasn't until last
year that i really looked into comic books because of the whole eric july drama and yeah i was like oh wow colorist that's a whole career field this is what i want
to do is colorist the same thing as animator uh no animator is an animator you draw each frame
you draw each frame and it's just there's like also different jobs for the animators too you
can do the key frames and then you have
the in-betweeners you get like character designers and then also colorists and background artists for
animators the all different jobs i thought that i wanted to be an animator i learned how to draw
based off of cartoons and then i was like okay animation is it's time consuming, but I would, I really thought that I wanted to do animation.
And then I got into comic books like pretty recently, like within like the last year.
And oh, wow.
Sequential arts in comic books.
And I don't have to draw each, each animation frame of like the movement.
I always found that to be like the hardest part
of animation is just having to draw it over and over again it's still still being like consistent
and also like with the line art and also being like all dynamic and such and but like with comic
books you can still have that sequential art you can still tell a story and you don't have to animate the in-betweens
so and so i've i was like oh wow this has opened an entirely new world for me i just want to be a
colorist for comic books now so how does a colorist do that job like it i'm so old my initial thought
was it involved like markers and shit it probably doesn't it's probably
ipads and e-pencils sketch up i think it's called right uh so i actually there's like there's a few
ways you could do the traditional method you could print off a piece of paper and then color onto
that using specific pencils uh markers or whatever or you can do the digital way, which I'm going to do.
I'm actually a digital artist, so I know how to digitally color, digitally blend stuff.
I can do watercolor traditionally, but I just prefer to do digital.
What's the word for it?
It's not... Easier. Is it because you can erase and edit and do it more yeah yeah you can you don't have to dedicate yourself to a line stroke that you do
and like oh if you messed up then you can just hit undo so you can have the perfect product out there if it's digital like the perfect colored
thing if it's digital and it's that's why i like to do digital because then i can really control
how much colors i use and where the colors go that's the that's why i'm gonna do that's why
i'm doing uh digital coloring okay and that's my that's my projected career path
are you working i see you're wearing the super killer hat i know that that's veto of the dick
show or of the biggest problem he's been on here a couple times are you helping with his project at
all uh i did a trading card for his campaign like it was a stretch goal to do trading cards and i did one of them
okay and that's that's the exposure that i have to like comic books like working on comic books
and anyone who wants a coloring job who needs a colorist for your comic book, hit me up. So hit her up. Her links will be below for colorist needs.
So yes,
you got into the,
the colorist thing.
Do you do like gaming streams or any other content?
Um,
I do.
They,
uh,
I do gaming streams.
Sometimes I mostly focus on the daily movie reviews and also my daily sets that i do and also draw and color
that's what i'm focusing on right now okay so are you so you haven't missed a day in
almost two years a year and a half yeah 500 daily movie reviews straight right now there's no way
that you have had a list of like 800 movies that you like were excited to get to.
How many movies in before you were like, oh, God.
Oh, all right. This one. Ninja Turtles 2, Lost in New York or like just some nonsense thing.
Um, it's it's really helpful for like i have the audience request movies people can request movies on my
patreon.com slash asc presents they can request movies and then that opens my mind to movies i
never even thought about or even heard about because when i started doing the daily move
reviews when i started doing the min salad sauce. I know like almost no movies I saw pretty much like my entire life.
I was growing up drawing, just focused on drawing, ignored all the movies, ignored all the social stuff.
Just was drawing, drawing, drawing.
And then when I went on the Hack the Movies show and he just knows so much about movies.
He's seen like thousands of movies like, wow, I know nothing about movies.
And then I just felt I needed to learn more about movies.
Cause also what's helpful about watching movies is like shot references and
like helps with shot composition, uh, value work,
very important in movies. Um,
uh value work very important in movies um ever since i started watching movies like more more dedicatedly i was able to really pinpoint what makes a movie like good in in the picture
of it like values really help and i was like oh wow what's what's missing from my artwork is the consideration of
values so i've incorporated that into my coloring i understand what we're talking
consideration of values what does that mean pretend none of us know anything about art at all
oh okay so values it's like uh white black in between the that's that's the value scale so the white is the whitest part black is the blackest part and then the grays in between the that's that's the value scale so you get the white is the whitest part
black is the blackest part and then the grays in between those are the values so like light
gray dark gray middle gray that's the values so so we're talking about the videography of a movie
right now yeah that can apply to like pictures like
like a photograph how like how many how much black and how much white there is and how much
gray tone there is is like that's the value work of a piece and then in translating that into color
it's it's a little bit harder to consider uh value work in color if you're also not
considering how it will translate in black and white so uh boy i'm just realizing i know so much
about art how do i explain all this uh um it's a series of grays yeah yeah series of grays is a
good way to describe value work.
Values are important in media because it helps establish the tone.
Like if you have a darker picture of a movie,
the values are going to be generally darker.
And it's supposed to establish the mood of a movie.
And also, if you have a generally dark picture and then you have some white bam your eyes are going to go towards that white
that's the first thing that your eyes will see is the contrast between
the heavy contrast and the white will just be
there your eyes will draw to it
focus pose focus
polls to to establish like what you're supposed to be looking at first uh oh man there's a lot
of movies that do this well especially older ones like citizen kane understands values very well
like i tried to watch that when i had to watch citizen kane when i was like
14 in this high school throwaway movie class but because it was school it was almost like
i'm not paying attention like i'm not like it was all we were doing i was only 14 also and i
remember not thinking it was very good but maybe now as an adult if i went back i would enjoy it
i'd have to even if i didn't i'd have to pretend to because i feel like that's a mark of a dullard
someone who's like i don't get it what's the snow globe well i i mean it's also from a different
time it's from like it's it's from so many generations ago that it it's kind of weird
to watch i'm not a big fan of nazis we're warning the horizon oh i love it's number of weird to watch. I'm not a big fan of Citizen Kane. Nazis were warning on the horizon.
It's number one on tons of lists, like all time.
Yeah, there's a reason for that.
I feel.
Old timey shows, I can't get past the acting.
It is by today's
standards terrible.
It's not natural.
It's stage acting, theatrical acting.
Like before
there was video and they
just did like tv acting and they sort of overdid the voices and the accents you know yeah i'm
exactly where i was going like james cagney like like coming to the room all right you listen up
you uh you're gonna be right there you're gonna do what i say all right and it's like this is not
how any humans anywhere have ever conversed.
But then you just get more to the Godfather.
They're having these quiet conversations over a table.
And so slowly the train overhead, the roar builds as the tension builds.
And like, yeah, you watch Pacino's eyes.
And it's like, yeah, I like this.
This is a good move.
I think they're going to look back at today's movies and say, I can't get over the terrible audio.
They're going to say, you cannot hear the characters.
You have to watch 2020s movies with closed captions on
because the audio is inaudible constantly.
I bet they'll make fun of the ratio of CGI
that there is to non-CGI
because it's almost like in Lord of the Rings
when that came out, it wasn't even that big a deal because it was like,
yeah, of course they made armor for all the Uruk-hai and all the orcs,
and of course Aragorn's armor is real, and Legolas is,
and Gimli's holding a real axe.
That's just how you do it.
And now in the world we live in with Marvel movies and everything,
people look back at Lord of the Rings like,
can you believe they made all this stuff?
20 years from now, I bet they look back on lord of the rings like can you believe they made all this stuff like 20 years from now i bet they look back on like the silly superhero fights and are like look how lazy this
one i have another one i bet they look at the length of the shot like it if you look critically
at a show nowadays the average length before a jump cut is something like three seconds yeah
jump and with i get frustrated go on yeah with older movies um there's a lot of
yeah like you like you mentioned it was like um like a stage play um i actually like that aspect
of older movies because it feels more lived in there is not as many uh cuts between like a scene
maybe it'll cut away to show something very significant, like someone's doing an action
and then it'll cut to them just
doing the monologue, and there's a lot
of camera movement. It feels like they're in
the scene, versus now, modern movies,
they're so heavily reliant
on CGI and so many cuts,
and it's just so hard to pay attention to.
Even with
the weird accents that
Kyle mentioned, i get that
it feels to me it just feels that older movies they were definitely trying a lot more a lot harder
to do like a stage play make it so the movies are it just feels more lived in and so because of that
i believe the movie is more i just i just i just take the word for it that these guys sound goofy
and that's just the world there's just so many people everyone's from the north atlantic like
yeah they all sound yeah um but specifically citizen kane though the reason why i brought it up is the shot
compositions are so perfect and they're so it's so intentional and you can only do that like with
the camera like i'm thinking of a particular scene at the very beginning where there's a shot of a
boy through the window and we have the adults talking within the cabin and it's just so
shot up perfectly i'm like whoa this couldn't have been done unless it was rehearsed over and
over and over again and i feel like now modern movies if they tried to do that they would just
have a green screen through that window and then they would place the actor digitally like in the
green screen window and just feel a little bit fake.
I just feel there's so much more artistry with older movies than there is with newer movies.
Of course, there's CGI and such.
And there's just so many digital artists that they hire.
And I'm glad that they're getting paid and being fed.
And I'm glad they're getting jobs.
I just personally like the stage feel
of movies more in the olden
time. Yeah.
Do you agree? Disagree?
Kyle? See, Kyle's our resident
movie aficionado, expert.
I personally have seen dozens of films.
Don't mean to buzz.
Did you see Thanksgiving? The Eli Roth
horror movie that just came out?
Oh, I wanted to.
It didn't actually come out in theaters.
It didn't come out in theaters near me, so I would have seen it.
I've got it on Plex.
It's actually really good.
All right, really good.
What it is, it's Scream, but with a Thanksgiving twist.
And Tim Dillon's in it.
He's the security guard who's cowardly and fucks up.
Oh, that's fun.
Tim Dillon's there at the beginning and he's like,
alright, stay back. Fuck.
And then the crowd gets aggressive.
It's a crowd outside of a Walmart during Black Friday
and the Black Friday thing goes
crazy and people are getting their faces ripped off
and stomped and killed and everything.
And so the mystery killer comes back
the next year to get his revenge at Thanksgiving. But it's all thanksgiving related stuff all the time of black
friday people get their faces ripped off they used to go to black friday do you remember like
there was a period from like 2009 to 2013 i feel like where people were getting physically
fucked up at black friday every year and then slowly Cyber Monday took all their momentum,
and now people...
That's why I was training those years.
That's why you were training?
So you could fuck up some retard on the way to grab a terrible quality,
low refresh rate, 42-inch TV?
In real life, pub stomping.
It's the Walmart waiting line.
Woody doesn't even leave with anything in a cart.
He's just there for the raucous fight he's got his hands taped yeah what is there for the love of
the game he's like no i already have a new better tv arriving in three days off amazon i'm here to
beat your ass what is this guy in line at 4 a.m with a lawn chair and a mouth guard yeah
yeah people could just wait for cyber friday i mean cyber monday it's better like it's weird to me
that the retailers don't want to get that foot traffic and and because i remember the first big
one was when they the first dvd players were like 25 like they had been hundreds and hundreds of
dollars and suddenly it was like hey buy this little piece of shit it plays dvds it's 25
at 8 a.m or 7 a.m whenever they open and there were
crowds there were people getting their asses kicked over fucking dvd players and screaming
and like like i missed that for as a spectator did you ever go to black friday i've gone to
some midnight releases but never like a black friday like i've stood in line to be the first
to or one of the first to like get out of thing but never like I went to a plan the doors open I wasn't there for the doors open like you said so by the time
like the only good sales were like power strips that aren't really surge protectors I'm like
I don't even want this this is terrible the TV's are gone did the deals used to be better
or have they all always been like scam deals and people the consumers just got better at it because
now it would be better it was a different kind of scam i half agree with kyle like there were
great deals tvs that they probably sold at a loss but they had six of them that's why everyone was
in line and then everyone else all day long do you still have the tvs no of course not
they would they would hype it up with things like they would make it so the first 50
uh customers got a free thing and now you've got people chomping at the bit just to get into your
store and you know the free things four dollars to you and ten dollars if they actually bought it
and they're gonna go buy some candy or they're gonna go buy something you know it's just it's
i don't know why they don't do it anymore i I want to watch. I don't care about the deals. I want to see the fight.
Maybe it was the fights.
Go participate.
Did you see they're now doing
Black Friday weeks now?
The entire week of Thanksgiving.
Black Friday deals.
A whole sales event now.
Yeah.
Car dealerships.
I think they're trying to reduce the violence but that's
the entire point of black friday is to see them fight over tvs so they think if they can break up
one major day of war into seven minor skirmishes they can prorate the violence level yeah they
don't have to pay any uh any um they don't have to pay any money to anyone who gets
injured in the stores i think they're trying to avoid that now i wouldn't participate in black
friday but if i were ever just driving down the street and i saw one of those like target lootings
going down i might pop in like yeah if target's already being looted everyone's stealing stuff
i'm not even i'm gonna be a very minor scale looter.
I might steal a couple snacks, something like that.
I don't know, because I assume the good stuff's going to be gone.
I'll just get soaps.
You get soap? You'd steal soap from the...
I'd steal soap and toilet paper and paper towels.
You know how much paper goods are these days?
Of course you'd steal paper goods.
That's a riot, not the apocalypse.
Do you grab an extra large
trench coat and try to convince them you're two people on each other's shoulders no you wouldn't
have to like they're going to be distracted trying to like be a defensive lineman to stop
the guy who's like using the home depot style roll cart that's got seven tvs meanwhile mint has got 35 dollars of paper goods that are taking
out pretending she's pregnant yeah and no one is ever going to suspect no one is ever going to
suspect a thing no one's going to look at me just taking whatever i need for my household so i'm
stocked up for a year like i don't think anyone
anyone who's like rioting who doesn't take these things i don't think they got their priorities
straight they need to they need to prioritize their taking all the paper goods still i'd still
be too big of a baby i think to actually go in and like mid-riot steal stuff i would still be
thinking about it enough internally to be like okay i'm just another
guy with nine xbox controllers walking towards the front of the store and i would like i'd like
stand by an unoccupied checkout for like maybe two minutes and then like visibly look aggravated
as the mayhem's happening and then like walk out like i was trying to pay i was like look at the camera and go i'll come back yeah i'll come back
with money put it on my tab exactly and then i get to go out there and poach my xbox i imagine
that's probably a good high value item right if you're going to go in there controllers yeah
definitely not food oh laptops that's probably good you gotta got to be quick if you're running into a target
because I don't even think they have a big electronics department.
Do they?
Oh, dude, the most depressing thing.
I saw a photo from a Best Buy because I haven't been in one in a fucking 15 years
or some shit, but I saw a photo of one,
and my God, they were taking all of the physical media out.
The middle of Best Buy, for you young quipper snappers, used to be just aisle after aisle of Blu-rays, DVDs, and every other format of music and video.
Just aisle after aisle of it.
Video games, obviously, that's where you went if you wanted a real selection of games.
Oh, yeah.
If it wasn't a GameStop.
I remember feeling cool, but picking up cd that said explicit on it and
i'm like that's where i got my m&m cds like like i i like corny me was a huge m&m fan and i was
i don't want that target version we got to go to best buy yeah he's the red warning yeah they took
all that shit out because but but then on the other hand i keep seeing i think it was playstation that did that thing where people who had purchased movies or media tv shows or what
have you on the the psn they were just changing those libraries and you were losing access to
content you'd paid for so you bought the movie quote unquote you own it quote unquote and they're
like ah we're removing it from our servers so wait wait, I own that. Yeah, but we don't want to keep paying the licensing fee to the company that let us let you own it.
So fuck you.
And all of a sudden we've kind of come full circle.
And I almost want to get some fucking Blu-rays, not only because of what I just said, but because with some of the shows that I like are a little bit edgy.
Like it's always sunny in Philadelphia, South Park and stuff like that can be a bit irreverent. And over
time, we've seen they go back and be like,
you can't do that joke anymore.
It's like, well, good, because we're not doing it anymore.
We did it then. Yeah, but I don't want anybody
to see it anymore on Paramount+.
You can't even laugh at it anymore.
You can't even laugh at it anymore. And they just remove
the whole episode. And so there's
a handful. I can name them.
One of them is the Jihad episode, I think. There's a handful i i could name them they're one of them's the the
jihad episode i think um there's um there's definitely the south park where they show muhammad
um the super friends yeah they got rid of the super friends by the way every other god and uh
whatever is represented like vishnu is there that that elephant thing is there like fucking buddha
jesus christ is there everybody's coming together to do, like, super friends.
Geshi? Geshi, the elephant thing?
Am I close? Oh, I don't know.
Vishnu.
Okay. Sounds right. I know my Marvel character
is better than my Hindu character. I think that's Vishnu.
I think Vishnu's the elephant multiple arm woman.
Or maybe it's a man, beast. Which one has
the extra titties? Oh,
there's a good deal of them. Oh, thank God.
Mint.
Would it be preferable to have three breasts or two?
If you could be the one girl who had three,
would you welcome that?
Yes, of course.
An extra tit to squeeze.
Although bras would be hard.
That's the only issue.
You'd be able to afford custom bras.
I followed you.
I followed your link tree,
and I see that you're on OnlyFans.
What percentage are you?
That's every OnlyFans person, right?
Yeah, I'm on Fansly and OnlyFans.
OnlyFans too.
At least top 5%.
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh, you know, I actually had a thought to what kyle was saying earlier about
um the streaming platforms you know with old media like the twilight zone uh paramount plus
specifically sucks at preserving the twilight zone they have like audio synced, desynced. It's just completely desynced audio
and it just sounds
bad and muddled.
It's like,
would
much
rather prefer
physical media
than just the streaming
services. I feel like
I've come full circle around to the physical media because I was
buying it repeatedly,
right?
Like,
Oh,
do you want to buy twilight zone?
Sure.
That's a beta tape.
And then it's a VHS tape.
Then it's this DVD.
Then it's a Blu-ray.
Now,
what are you going to play it on?
I got it.
I just figured it out.
I just cracked the code.
So first of all,
there's another instance where it's good to have physical media and that's a
property like tales from the crypt where nobody knows who fucking owns it
anymore.
There's like,
it's like Spider-Man meme in a circle where everybody's pointing at each
other,
but they're pointing at themselves.
There's like the,
the,
the comic people,
the artists,
the,
the,
the writers,
the multiple TV networks,
major companies,
you can't get it.
So the answer is to pirate it on Plex
because I've got the Twilight Zone
synced up on Plex. I've got
Tales from the Crypt.
All of them that were ever made
in order sequentially.
The Plex guy rules.
We love you, brother.
My family knows about you.
I've been using Plex for like four years
before you guys joined me.
They mocked me for being
a pirate. I just
flew my Jolly Roger.
I want to see that meme of like
dangerous Woody. He's like, at first they mocked me
and then joined me.
Now, Woody was a first
adopter of the Plex thing.
Are you familiar with what that services
meant? Only within the last year because I'd look was a first adopter of the of the plex thing are you familiar with what that services meant um only
within the last year because i'd look up movies that i need to watch and be like free on plex i'm
like oh okay but i have okay so let me let me give you the nitty-gritty here so that the idea it also
it does that it is just one of those apps that streams movies you can buy movies like with
commercials um or or i think think you can rent movies without commercials
perhaps on there too. I could be wrong.
My experience is the commercial thing
and they're free, which is fine.
The real cool thing is that it has
this feature so that you can have your
movies anywhere and you just
add a bunch of accounts to it. We all have all
of the movies everywhere.
Pages and pages of
whatever we want for free there's a person who
watches the show who has a plex server he puts you know his movies on there but he's a fan of
the show so kyle will so much as mention like you know i watched on the waterfront again and sure
enough that's added like the next day you know for anyone who's interested in the show and a thing
that kyle mentioned it gets available so i'm saying i'm such a simpleton with it when i got added to the server i remember talking to woody and kyle where
i'm like this is incredible it's replaced all my streaming services it's free you can watch
anything even if it's still in theaters and it's totally legal and kyle and woody were like we were
like retarded like this is absolutely not how you're going to be. It's like we're all in an alley doing lines of...
We're all in some room upstairs doing lines of cocaine.
And Taylor's like, oh my God, why have I never heard about this shit before?
Give me some more.
It makes you feel good and wonderful.
It's legal and it's healthy.
I'm not even in a straight kind of way.
I've got energy and it's legal.
And we're like...
Keep it down. Don't talk about it on your podcast I gotta look into this
I do have physical
discs of all of the Twilight Zone
and also Columbo because the streaming
services fuck these
perfect shows up with their
audio desyncing with with all the
platforms what's the best episode of twilight zone i actually have watched a lot of that show
used to be on on like nick at night back in the day i love twilight zone um out of the ones that
i've seen since um i've only seen actually up to, yeah, 19
as of this episode.
Episode 1 through 19.
I really like
Shot an Arrow into the
Sky. Is that what it's called?
Shot an Arrow into something.
Into the Air. Into the Air. Thank you.
Shot an Arrow into the Air.
I love that episode. I love the twist.
I don't want to spoil it.
What'd you say? Is that it? It's a poem. It's a Shot an arrow into the air. I love that episode. I love the twist. I don't want to spoil it. What'd you say?
It's a poem. I shot an arrow
into the air. It fell to earth. I know not where.
Oh, I didn't know it was based off
a poem, but that's even cooler.
Man, good art.
I love good art, man.
It's so good.
Did you do any of
those posters behind you do any of those posters
behind you? Or are those just art that you liked?
This is
Ethan VanSkyver Arts.
I'm a really big fan of his
arts. So much so that I have
the posters here.
Colorist Kyle Ritter
did this. It's just
beautiful.
The kisses of appreciation to the art did this. It's just beautiful. Mwah, mwah, mwah. Like, okay.
Yeah, the kisses of appreciation
to the art because
Ethan VanSkyver has
replaced myself
as my favorite artist.
So detailed.
Okay, Kanye!
You know,
Kanye had that quote, his greatest regret
would be that he would never get to see himself live.
That's a shame.
Yeah.
I mean, I would be that, too.
I'd feel like that, too, if I were Kanye.
Yeah.
I mean, isn't he known for putting on great shows?
Or is he not?
Is he really?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm a very recent fan.
Same. He picked me up in the fall.
He picked me up in the fall.
Yeah. So I saw
last night, I
subscribed to a bunch of Kanye subreddits, of course,
and
they said, Kanye,
it said something like, Kanye does the best
transitions, and it was
him performing on stage and uh it was him performing
on stage and him trans it looked it was an incredible performance first of all the pyrotechnics
the lasers the fog everything the coordination all the dancers and everything it was more of a
it was like performance art as much as it was a concert i went to uh usher concert one time
and his shit is also ridiculous uh it's like a whole fucking like that's just the
stage morphs between songs it becomes a whole new fucking thing um but Kanye yeah I don't know
I I really enjoyed uh like maybe a handful of Kanye songs but I've gotten fascinated with him
during his mental breakdown period like I'm more interested in you know like the nitty-gritty of
his life and it's the more I about him, the more I like Kim Kardashian
because when you see behind the scenes
when she's not trying to project an image, you see a really reasonable
sensible version of Kim Kardashian who's like,
Kanye, I told you. I don't want
to do that. This is crazy what you're talking about.
And then him just going off on a tangent of clear craziness.
Damn, she is the reasonable one.
I didn't want her to be.
I want Kanye to be right.
But I think Kanye is actually an insane person.
I like those clips of Kanye now.
Did you see the one where he's at a private,
it seems like a private kind of dinner party,
and he's performing some music up
there oh yeah and clearly everyone's like this rules kanye west is gonna sing a couple songs
for us and kanye lures them in with the song and then just firing off about jews like like wow he
he coaxes them in with the song I wrote this one about the evil of the Jews
and now
we're gonna take eight minutes
in between songs now for me to talk
about some theories
it's like alright go off
and everyone is like after a couple
minutes is like man
please go back to singing
you know you're bringing the
vibe of the whole party down
the only thing
that i've seen of his concerts is when he was in paris he played that like paris song 14 times in
a row and i thought that was pretty epic i was like that's the song you would play in paris
because we're in paris once no 14 times 14 times in a row. Yeah, if it plays, it stays.
If it's still
peering it, you just keep going after it.
I don't know what he's up to now.
Oh, you do?
We just followed him.
He's with his
smoking hot Italian wife.
She's got the... Oh, man. I saw
a video of her
a couple of days ago,
and she had the amazingly obscene tops that I would want.
I would want to wear that in public.
I want that top, actually.
I do appreciate how much it lifts her tits.
I'm like, wow, that's a miracle strap that's on her right now.
How does this stay on?
Like blue?
You're enjoying the...
You're like watching an engineering marvel.
We're just enjoying the way it looks.
So again, green screen.
There's some wires that they cropped out.
They had an artist come in.
But above her is a couple of marionette artists
making her titties look like that.
Because there's no fucking way those 12-pound
jugs are
that... Oh, come on.
Don't say
things like that. You told me I was a dickhead
for saying that Santa wasn't real as a kid.
And now you're coming in here
saying, oh, the gravity-defying tits.
That can't be right.
That's Santa
hatery as an adult.
I also didn't believe in Santa
as a kid. I never believed in him.
You got robbed of it too? I never got
that chance.
Here is when
the Santa thing was
ruined for me as a kid.
When I was in
foster care, I was with a
foster parent who didn't really care about what she got
for me for christmas but she did care enough to take me to a santa claus she was with an earshot
that i wanted some purple boots right and then i got a train set for christmas and like santa's
not real if if santa was real he would have gotten me those purple boots. No, none of that.
No more Santa Claus in my life.
But I had a lot of people try to be like, oh, but Santa's real.
I'm like, no, I've already been disillusioned.
So he missed one gift and you shut it down?
Yeah.
I need to know more about this foster life thing.
So were you a foster kid all the way through 18?
So I was with my birth parents until i was five i went into
the foster care system for 19 months i got adopted when i was eight and then from 8 to 18 i lived with
my adopted parents did they foster you first uh they fostered me for like a month.
And then they're like, okay, we're going to adopt you.
And I was like, okay, sure, that works.
And then the whole entire process.
You weren't excited?
There was no teary-eyed Christmas letter with papers or something?
Like Reddit?
Not really.
I just was excited that they had dogs.
And so I was like, I'm going to pet the dogs. I'm going to learn how to draw dogs.
I'm going to hunker down and just draw dogs
while they made all the paperwork to adopt me.
I was just like, dogs! I get to pet the dogs!
I was so distracted by the dogs that they just swept up and adopted me.
Answer truthfully. Of the foster parents you had are the ones
that adopted you the ones you wanted to adopt you the most no no okay the one before i was really
big fan of the my foster parents before the ones that i got adopted they were too old though
then they already had like seven foster children to take care of
yeah i didn't hear what you said he said that's what you want old ones like i want old ones that
they can't discipline you can get away with not only that they'll be gone soon and they'll you
know it'll be oh this is my house strategy yeah you just keep cashing their checks you know
It's an investment strategy.
Yeah, you just keep cashing their checks, you know.
Like, yeah, they were very nice to me.
Like, the older lady would brush my hair,
and she's like, oh, you're B-E-A-utiful.
She's brushing my hair, and I was like, oh, that's nice. Oh, yay.
And then the ultimate betrayal of my trust from her
was when she sent me off to another foster home.
And then I was like, dang
it! I really wanted to be
her foster child.
To be adopted by her. How does that work?
Do they just put your backpack
out on the stoop and it's
a dog? We're like, get out of here!
Get out of here! I'm telling you
run down the road.
Like Harry and the Hendersons?
They told me about
a couple of days
beforehand like okay you got a pack you got a pack you're leaving now i'm like oh that's sad
where am i going well i got a new foster family and it's like meanwhile like without talking to
me at all they're like talking to a um to the social worker about a month beforehand. Okay, we can't
take care of her. Can you please put her into a different house? Could you do that
for me, please? And then they'll do all the stuff behind the scenes. Well, I'm oblivious
to it because I was seven at the time and I was only interested in
dogs and drawing dogs. Were you hard to take care of?
Is that what they were saying with that.
I'm,
I don't know.
I'm,
I don't think I was,
but that's just me.
I mean,
as,
as an autistic young and who wasn't diagnosed autistic until I was 16,
I was just really quiet and also ran up the stairs like a dog and they
didn't like that and i kept doing it
that long to figure it out what would you say she's not she's non-verbal and she goes up the
stairs like a dog you don't think autism do you no with all the foster families that i was with
they're like oh i think she's autistic but they never sent me for a diagnosis like ever because they just didn't want to deal with that i guess where'd you get diagnosed was
it the state the private doctor um it was a it was a psychologist that my adopted mother took me to
she looked into uh psychologists who can diagnose autistic people.
Fun story. I walk into
the psychologist
place and I'm like, I'm not autistic.
I'm not autistic.
You crawled in.
I was like, autistic people
are weird. I don't want to be
autistic whatsoever.
I go in and she's like, okay here's some tests what would you do
if you were to brush your teeth and like oh well I just
like mimic it like and then
do the brushing of the teeth
you know just like just follow her tests
and she's like well you're
autistic I'm like damn even
when I'm trying not to be autistic
I still come off as autistic
do you have any idea what you got like
wrong about that?
She said the way
That I was mimicking
The action with my
Hands
Immediately you mime it
Like she didn't ask you to mime it did she?
No she didn't I just
Mimed it
It was easier for me to
Describe what's happening If I'm miming it was like it was it was easier for me to describe what's happening if i'm miming it
or like visualizing it and then like describing that picture versus just like coming up with
words off the spot then it wouldn't be it would be uh harder for me to just come up with words
on the spot if i wasn't miming it so my son autistic. He's not as high functioning as you are, but my son is
autistic. He's 20 now. And, uh, at first as parents, like, I guess we kind of pushed back
against that diagnosis. We didn't want it to be true. And they'd say, all right, you know,
he's autistic. Look at the way he's playing with these toys. And he has like, I don't know,
30 matchbox toys. And he would do what they called fluffing them like you put them in the air and stir them like you're trying to get the salt in your popcorn and uh
it's like okay okay okay so you're supposed to tell me toys like that i guess so i'm out there
teaching him how to play with matchbox cars and shit like that and then the next time we go to
the doctor he's gonna pass this fucking test right so he gets the toys and he lines them all up like
there's some sort of traffic jam and they're're like, no, that's not right either.
And it's like, fuck!
He did the opposite
of the other thing. He should be
going for a ride.
He'd be like, doctor, just out of
curiosity, how would you play with the toys?
I wouldn't.
I'm a doctor.
He might be
a loser for children.
He's like, well, I'm a doctor, and so I would also pile them up.
All of a sudden, he goes, Mr. Woodward, would you play with the toys for me?
Yeah, exactly.
Play with the toys.
I do remember going to rooms before I went to the person who diagnosed me autistic.
person who diagnosed me autistic. There was like a transitionary period between being in the foster care and being adopted where I had to take these speech therapy lessons and
they had these toys in the waiting room. And I would make these toys like perfectly symmetrical,
like even when I was younger. I was like, oh oh that's definitely a tell that I was autistic
because I was so focused on making them symmetrical and they couldn't physically be symmetrical
because of the way it was built so it was always like free to me out and I would melt down because
they can never be symmetrical I guess that's also a tell that I was autistic well but I feel like
the because I used to like making things symmetrical as a kid, but I'm not autistic.
Yeah.
I think because if someone were to knock my stuff off,
I see those faces.
I don't know what you're talking about. I wouldn't have a meltdown ever.
If like someone came and knocked my symmetrical thing over,
like what kind of meltdown were you having?
Oh boy.
I would just like scream and shout and be like,
you're messing up my thing god dang it and
also another story someone stole uh my spot on this particular jungle gym and my reaction
um was to bite their leg a bit their leg instead of be like hey can you get off the thing please
i was like you stole my spot and then i
grabbed their leg and bite into it that was like my first reaction how old were you at the biting
age i was nine nine that's past fighting all right yeah yeah i don't think it's that bad though like
i thought she was gonna say like 17 or something like was this also one of those things where like
you hadn't been in your spot on the jungle gym for like a 24 since like the previous recess and then someone else, some unwitting girl sits in your spot and you go over guns blazing?
I think I was actually sitting in there for I was sitting in there for the entire recess.
I got up because the teacher called me to do something.
I went back outside and the person
was in my spot and i was like you're in my spot chomp and i just bit their leg you draw blood
no blood but i did get suspended for half a day because it was a friday i was like yes a day
that's not a negative at all are you totally attached to your routines uh yeah i if i if i don't do a particular order routine like workout
then like workout watch movies and then wash my face and take a shower and then get makeup ready
if i don't do this by a certain time of the day then i'm just gonna be like i'm gonna fully tilted
of you i'll feel terrible be like no, I'm not productive at all because
I'm not adhering to my schedule. 100%. Ah. And then I'll be prone to freaking out more because
my schedule isn't being adhered to. Like I would just start yelling, crying if I'm not adhering to
a schedule or if I'm, I like just start feeling weird and like the tension of not fulfilling that
schedule just builds up more and more and more.
And because I like to just keep all of my emotions just hidden down.
Cause I don't want to like disturb people with emotion talk.
And then until I blow up,
I'm like,
ah,
I'm having a terrible time.
Ah, you know? And then, and blow up, I'm like, ah, I'm having a terrible time. Ah, you know?
Yeah.
And then, yeah, that's how I reacted not being on routine.
At the end of the day, I have a conversation with my son, the same one for like 800 days in a row now.
Yeah.
Same conversation.
Yeah.
It goes like this.
He comes down.
He says, Dad dad i watched a movie
i say what movie did you watch and he gives me the name of it and i'm like huh what's the genre
it was an animated was it a horror whatever because it ends with me guessing the length
of the movie i ask what you know what the genre is um i might ask him the streaming platform
and i ask him what year it came out because movies are getting longer and then I guess the
length of the movie and we do that
every day for like
800 days in a row now. Have you ever
nailed it? Oh yeah, I nailed it twice
in a row. Nice.
Twice in a row.
Colin, that's going to be 122
minutes.
I do it with hours. Like one hour, 22
minutes, you know, and one hour, 28 minutes. Yeah do it with hours. One hour, 22 minutes. One hour, 28
minutes.
I got it twice this week in a row.
Damn. You got to gamble.
Take advantage of this hot streak you're on.
It's a fun game.
You do talk with your...
No, it's not.
It's like, all right, Woody. Buckle up. He needs
this.
I'm thinking of the two victories. i'm not thinking of the 798 defeats you know i was actually having an autistic meltdown uh right before i did the star wars video
okay and i was also on four tabs of yeah i was on four tabs of acid because I was having an autistic meltdown.
I was just so upset.
I was like,
I just need to get this energy out
and just screamed at the camera
about people should not watch
the new Disney Star Wars
because it's such a pet peeve of mine now
because there's so many YouTubers
who talk about,
oh, the new Star Wars sucks.
But Disney knows this.
Disney knows that there is an entire economy talking about how the new Star Wars sucks,
how the new everything Disney sucks, how the new Marvel sucks.
And they're banking on them.
And they're just perpetuating the economy.
I'm like, I just want good art i want just
i want good art and disney knowingly is not producing good art because they'll know if
they produce bad art it'll be talked about more and so i was just like stop watching disney star
wars it's all just going to be trash and sucked and I actually haven't watched the new Disney Star Wars
episode 9.
I think what happens is people love Star Wars.
They fall in love with Star Wars when they're age
appropriate for that Star Wars.
So like me, I'm so
old. When Return of the Jedi came
out, I was the right age for it.
So I was like, Ewoks are fucking dope.
Right? They take all people on those
flying motorcycles in the woods.
Like, this is awesome.
Yeah.
You watch it as an adult, and it is the dumbest teddy bear movie that's ever been made.
But I was the right age for it.
Well, the second set, the original trilogy, whatever they call it.
The next three.
Oh, yeah.
Prequels.
Thank you.
You know, a lot of guys in like the rest of you, you other three, like your age group
kind of maybe nailed the prequels
or were somewhat close to it when you saw that.
I watched that 13 years old in the fucking theater with my boy.
His mom was cool enough to drop us off.
We'd been talking about the original trilogy.
We'd watched that shit and we're like, alright, let's do this.
What is it called? Clone Wars?
It's the first one with little Anakin.
Phantom Menace. Oh my god. Even as a 13 year old. what is it called clone wow it's the first one little anakin uh the phantom menace phantom
menace yeah yes oh my god even as a 13 year old i the part comes so the pod racing as a kid i liked
as an adult i think why are we doing this there's no reason for this to be happening
as an adult i was so jaded i was like even on my first viewing i was like they're clearly
making this for the video game revenue that comes after this movie is what i was so jaded i was like even on my first viewing i was like they're clearly making this for
the video game revenue that comes after this movie is what i was thinking yeah that whole movie is
rather upsetting when you look at it objectively there's you could break it down scene by scene
but but one of the things that annoys me is that they took anakin and left his mother to be a slave
on that fucking desert planet it's like didn't you pull up in a chrome fucking spaceship like like gangster as fuck with the queen of a planet you tell me nobody here's
got enough credits to buy an old white lady come on they don't want her and they and they left her
there and if you don't know what happened in the second movie she gets kidnapped and raped to have almost to death by
like desert wookiee people those are the way i was on star wars anakin's mother gets raped to
death i forgot about that and then he loses his shit and that's when he comes back to padme and
he's like you don't understand i didn't just kill the man i killed the women and children
and that's when she should have been like,
Obi-Wan, it's happened.
Directive 37.
And his pen should have came off from the exploring college. Instead, she's like, eh, I can fix him.
Ah.
A troubled, sexy Jedi.
Just what I always wanted.
Do you think a big problem with it, though,
was that Hayden Christensen is a really bad actor?
Very flat.
He was too flat.
You needed someone who was likable.
You don't like him.
So when he falls,
you don't even care for his sake.
You care for everyone else's sake.
Everyone else has had to deal with Darth Vader now,
and you're sad and upset about that.
She's lost her husband.
They've lost their father.
He's lost his best friend.
The Jedis have lost their hope. But you don't care about hayden christiansen's character like he's just
so flat and dry like the set and he's just not a very good actor he's better now better now i don't
know what he's in now i like me too star wars the same fucking thing he's come back to play the
character wait really yes yeah uh and there'll be one series not like first his like helmet gets He's a character. Wait, really? Yes. In the Obi-Wan series.
First, his helmet gets damaged, and there he is.
Hayden Christian isn't in there, and he's in the suit.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
I don't care.
That's cool.
I think you hated the new Star Wars as well, right?
And I think you guys were a little more split on it.
The only Star Wars that I really enjoy, I love the animated Clone Wars stuff stuff i think it's fantastic and i love rogue one the movie is it's a standalone movie taylor
it's like a prequel prequel it's just about a little ragtag group who goes and steals the plans
for the death star and sends them to princess leia so that's the the the thing everyone's chasing in
the very first star wars movie those plans yeah yeah um so you get to see the secret agent kind of shit that got it but spoilers at the end everybody dies the empire is like
nukes the site and kills everyone but they get the message out with the plans but everybody dies
and it's like but they couldn't stop the terror cell i wouldn't be surprised if today's kids
grow up get a little power when they're like 27 years old, and then they stand up for the most recent trilogy and say, hey, I liked it.
That would be weird.
I love when that purple haired lady just broke all the laws of like Star Wars and like, fuck you all.
I'm going to fly my ship at light speed into the Empire and destroy it.
Yeah, right.
We could have done that all this time.
Kyle, I have a question what do you think of the narration of the clone wars i tried to watch the clone wars animated series um when i was like 16 and binge watching it was so annoying
because of the narrator in the first five minutes and the last five minutes?
Yeah, two things. What do you think of the narrator?
First of all, when you watch the animated one,
you have to go online and find the correct order to watch them in
because they're out of order even on their site.
But on top of that,
I find the narrator annoying.
For those who don't know, it's like a 1940s style.
The guy would come on and tell you
what was going on in the Pacific.
Our boys are making steady progress across the Pacific.
Japs are falling back.
The dirty yellow cowards they are.
But you get that for the Clone Wars.
And explicably for this futuristic Star Wars thing, they just come on.
General Obi-Wan Kenobi, afraid that General Grievous would know his secret plans, hides amongst the Wookiees.
And then you're like, why is this the voice?
Why don't we just hire like one of the original people to be Harrison Ford?
That would be excellent.
But anyway, I'm not a fan of the Star Wars either.
I wish they had somebody doing a Rod Sterling impression for the narrator of the Clone Wars,
because that would just be easier and on my ears.
I'd be like,
yes, it's like
the milky voice.
Smoking a cigarette while he does it?
Yeah.
There should be more smoking
in movies and TV.
That's one of the things that bums me out
about Sherlock. I know Woody's
been watching BBC's Sherlock
with Cumberbatch and
Martin Long or whatever his name is.
Little fellow that plays Bilbo. Yeah. One of the things that irks me is he does.
You know, original Sherlock, of course, has the Sherlock Holmes pipe. We even call it that.
He's constantly smoking because the nicotine is fueling him up.
And our Cumberbatch guy like BBC doesn't want him smoking clearly. That's clearly what it is because he's
just always like covered
in nicotine patches or like wanting
a cigarette and this guy
would smoke. Let him smoke. I would love it if he was
chained smoking cigarettes the whole time or if
every time it was a different kind like a hookah one
day and cigarettes the next. He smokes. Am I
crazy? He smokes sometimes? Very
occasionally. That's how they know. It's like a special
event and they make it usually it's something he there's someone else who smokes sometimes? Very occasionally. That's how they know that there's a... It's like a special event.
Usually it's someone else who smokes and he joins them.
Sure, yeah.
It's great though. I didn't like that.
People look cool when they're smoking cigs.
Yeah. It is
unfortunately true. Yeah.
I swear
if you want a really
cheap and easy way to make someone cool in a movie,
you give them a cigarette.
For sure.
Not in real life.
When I see someone smoking a cigarette in real life, it vibes low income to me.
But when they do it in a movie, it vibes cool.
What about a cigar?
I'm different depending on the physique of the person doing it.
If you're a big, fat, slovenly guy smoking a cigarette
i'm like low class trash but if you're like fit or if like a hot girl is smoking a cig i'm like
i got the class yeah predator opening scene arnold and his boys land on the helicopter on the beach
general looks through the fucking curtain there they are it's fucking dutch everybody else gets
off the helicopter. We went,
we pan in on Arnold who's sitting there smoking his stogie in that red,
uh,
um,
polo shirt,
fucking huge,
ripped,
straining every thread of that thing.
The stogie looks so cool.
The stogie looks so fucking cool.
It doesn't matter how much you love cigars in real life.
When I see anybody with a cigar, it vibes to me like a pretender of some sort.
Like a guy who's putting on a show.
Like, oh, look at me.
I'm a cigar guy.
Shut the fuck up.
No, you're not.
I've never enjoyed a cigar.
I mean, I've had people give me cigars at live shows.
And like, here's a cigar, and then I take a puff.
I'm like, why do people enjoy this?
I don't understand.
I feel the need to inhale the smoke.
Apparently you're not supposed to inhale the smoke on the cigar.
No, you're not.
What happens if you inhale the smoke
of a cigar? It's just a lot of nicotine.
Right? Isn't that why?
You'll probably get sick to your stomach yeah it's too much nicotine it's
too harsh as well if you don't inhale it what's the point the nicotine gives you um a rush it's
like a it's a it's a lot it's like a head rush it's uh and and a cigar like that is like a big
head rush those things are wrapped in um um tobacco tobacco leaves and the whole fucking
thing so like when you're smoking a good cigar
and you're just puffing it into your mouth you're absorbing it sublingually like you know into your
mouth and getting that nicotine hit like that arnold's made the case that it's you know healthier
obviously i think he finally quit maybe i don't remember it stains your mouth with the flavor of
the cigar for like 30 hours wow like that's your not, and it's not even like a good taste.
Because like every time I've smoked a cigar, it's like with my dad on some golf trip or something.
And he like breaks out cigars and I don't want to feel left out.
And then I smoke it and it takes fucking forever to smoke it.
And you get like a third of the way in.
You're like, my God, how much longer is this going to take?
And then all the food you eat for like the next 30 hours tastes different.
It's a filthy habit.
Just smoke cigarettes like an adult.
Yeah, I don't like it either.
I'd rather just smoke a cigarette and get a nicotine rush.
I've never smoked a cigarette.
Never?
Never.
Plan to start?
No.
Okay.
Okay.
When I was two years old, I saw my birth father smoking cigarettes. I never really liked the smell of them. I didn't like that he did it, and I didn't like that he smelled like cigarettes. So I made a pact with myself. I'm never going to touch a cigarette, and I haven't since then.
Nice. You're on a good streak. A lifelong streak.
nice you're on a good streak a lifelong streak yeah it's pretty it's uh i just i mean i know there's different tastes of cigarettes but i just don't like the smell of them i mean i if i want
nicotine i prefer a vape but uh also vapes are weird i have a weird relationship with vapes if i
if i picked up a vape i'm like oh i like the head rush initially and then i kept up a vape, I'm like, oh, I like the head rush initially. And then I kept smoking the vape. Then the head rush, whenever I would hit it, would be less and less.
And it's like, oh, no, I feel a dependence.
I don't want to be dependent on this.
And then I just quit.
That's a good habit to have.
You start consciously noticing that you're getting addicted to it and you cut it out.
It's easy to not do that i'll say it's easy to just keep being like oh nicotine i want this i want it how many things though i was talking to someone about trt the other day um that's
testosterone replacement therapy for ferment um and uh and they're like yeah but then you're
dependent on that i'm like dude how many things are we dependent on that we have to do every day?
So many.
You don't
have to keep getting those
contacts in the mail. If those contacts
stop coming, it's a problem.
Lots of people have lots of things.
I wouldn't say I'm addicted
to corrective eyewear.
I think you'd get
headaches without it.
You're dependent upon them.
You're dependent upon them, though.
Do you get headaches if you don't drink caffeine?
No, I do not.
I don't either, but I know people that do.
I feel like you have to drink a lot of caffeine
to get to that point.
If I drink coffee
for, let's say, five days straight
and then I stop drinking coffee,
I will get a headache
maybe four hours and then it will go away so i do get those headaches i totally get that um
is there is there like another substance that you get a headache just a regular headache
if you get rid of them like other than water yeah skipping water will fuck you up yeah with
yeah lots of withdrawals from a lot of things give you headaches yeah i didn't i didn't was
apparently one of the rougher withdrawals nicotine yeah you can die from alcohol withdrawals and it's
one of the interesting things i bet you both know this uh they keep like miller light at the
at the pharmacy locked up at the hospital they've've got cans of beer in there. So if
someone comes in and they're going through DTs and
they're dying, there's nothing in a
syringe to fix this. There's no IV bag
to hang. Get that man a Miller light. It's
Miller time. I'd love to see some guy
in the emergency room turn their
nose up at Bud Light. Be like,
what am I, fag? What am I, fag?
I'd rather die.
He's shaking his ass off
i think alcohol and benzodiazepines are the only things that you can die in withdrawal from like i
i know like heroin is a horrible thing to withdraw but i don't think it can kill you i got a thing
woody you're philadelphia so so i've been
watching um the guy from channel 5 news um remember he had that sex assault allegation a while back so
he really toned things down he's all gas no break he broke up broke off and did channel 5 news um
he does youtube videos recently where he goes to like the scummiest places in america and kind of
gets the nitty-gritty on the drug use and the and the street crime. He was in San Fran, um, for a while.
And Oh my God, it's wild out there. I don't know what you're talking about, but I have a question.
Did he go to Kensington and Arlington? I don't know where those places specifically, but I'm
only five minutes in, I had to come, like I had to go shower and like do some shit and then come
here, but I'm saving it for it's Andrew Callahan. i think maybe it's his name yes anyway thank you uh and uh
man five or ten minutes into the philadelphia episode so trank is the thing there it's uh like
xylosine or something what it is is they're adding in this animal tranquilizer that's used on
everything from mice to horses it's like the go-to, I guess, into whatever drugs they were all already doing.
And it's called Trank.
But the thing about that xylosine or whatever is something about the way it constricts veins or blood vessels.
It ends up leading up to a lot of like fasciitis, like rotting flesh.
And like they had these ulcers opened opened oozy wounds on their shins
and calves and stuff. And also,
when they're on the drug, like when they're
having fun, they would say,
they look like
zombies, like bent backwards,
like in weird contorted
ways. It's impressive that they
can hold that position. It's like yoga.
Like the heroin stances?
Like those weird,
almost falling over? Yeah, so apparently oh they showed some statistics about like apparently a large
percentage of the overdose deaths have had trank you know in in the mixture because it's that's
it's like a cocktail i guess of that xylosine and uh maybe heroin and maybe even some fentanyl
that they're shooting up. And Jesus,
they all had dirty needles.
The one guy had a needle like behind his ear.
You know how you throw like a pencil or a pencil.
Oh,
no cap,
no cap on it. Ooh,
that's gotta be pokey.
Yes,
yes,
yes,
it's pokey.
And he's asking this one guy's got stores all over his face.
That part of Philadelphia is underrated underrated right everyone knows about uh detroit a lot of people know about bad parts
of san fran or st louis but the worst parts of philadelphia rank with anywhere on the planet
like i had a friend who was friends with a cop and he was like where's the worst place in
philadelphia and he's like kNA the corner of Kensington and Arlington
the prostitutes there will do things
for less than five dollars
whoa what a fucking metric
less than five dollars
inflation proof
how much is your
fans Luke
starting prices 10
at the lowest tier
some self respect you know Starting price is $10 at the lowest tier. Some self-respect.
You know, I actually stayed in...
You won't find her on KNA.
No.
I stayed in a really terrible place in Philly because I don't know Philly.
And so there was the Who Are These Podcasts?
The Dick Show live show there.
And I was like, okay, well, I'm just going to pick an Airbnb.
And I ended up picking an Airbnb in the top five.
It was like number five on the highest crime in Philly.
And I was like, oh, no.
Okay, so here's how the airbnb was three separate locks a lock on the
door to get into the airbnb and then a lock it to get to the floor where the airbnb was and then a
lock to get into the actual airbnb and there was a camera within the living room of the Airbnb.
And I was like, this is insane.
There were cameras in every room.
I'm sure there was.
Yeah, that's just the one you saw.
Yeah.
That one's for wide shots.
Yeah.
Establishing frames and stuff.
And it was pretty ridiculous.
There was just people jaywalking across
the street all the time there's a lot of people who are it seemed like they were bugging out
like they would they'd be like acting pretty erratically i was a little bit scared but
uh atlanta is more violent you should be yeah like yeah sometimes i'll get off i'm i'm bad
about missing my exit like i'll do it a lot um and driving mach one when this
happens i go pretty fast they don't pull you over for speeding in atlanta and i'm past my court
so now it's like you're gonna write me a ticket i'll pay it i haven't had one in 12 years you'll
probably let me slide um so i'll drive like 100 pretty regularly like that's kind of my cruising
speed and never been pulled over that's insane those are motorcycle rules it's kind of like i promise you like if you're on if you're on 285
it's a problem to pull someone over on that thing there's nowhere to go you get on that shoulder
yeah hop out of your car officer and and indiana jones side straddle uh between the the hundred
mile per hour traffic because everybody's doing it in the fast lane. Anyway, I missed my...
And I went down a scary fucking place.
But it was more like violent than druggy.
You know, like it was more like...
I saw a lot of people on stoops
with liquor bottles out in public.
And I saw a lot of like...
There was a lot of yelling in general.
It was loud there.
You ever go to a place and like
you're just at a gas station making a U-turn it's like why is everyone shouting uh i have that experience no
weed in the air with la i went i was i was in a part of uh downtown la trying to get gas i pull
into this gas station and there's just like like 10 people just loitering there and there's a couple having an
argument and like um oh i'm almost out of gas i don't want to stop here because i don't want to
deal with the people yelling like i have noise sensitivity issues so if i were to be next to
a person yelling i just start freaking out and and just start stemming and then people would be like,
what are you doing, lady?
Also,
my first ever experience
being catcalled was in the same place
in Philly that I stayed in that
Airbnb.
What was his line? What was his go-to?
It was just three honks
in the car.
That's respectful.
He just wanted you to get out of the street.
Were you standing in the road
when this happened?
I was on the sidewalk.
So I crossed the street
and then when I
was on the other side of the sidewalk
just going to my car, he honked.
Then he was crossing the street.
When he was crossing the street just going forward and I was going towards to my car he honked then he was crossing the street when he was
crossing the street just going forward and i was going towards my car he honked again and then he
honked a third time i think he shouted like hey mama you look good you look fine like towards me
on the around like the third honk i was like i'm just going to ignore it i have other things to do
i'm not here as part of you feeling like, yeah, I am killing it today.
Yeah.
I was like, huh.
I was just thinking to myself, this is the only time I've ever been cat called.
There's so many people.
There's so many people who say it's such a big issue that people online say it's such a big issue with them.
But personally, it's only a big issue with them but personally
it's only happened to me once so i don't know i don't know how what type of people
do you go out a lot though um not often but when i'm in the big city i i dress up i dress real
sexy i'm in my ass is hanging out the only thing that's obstructing my ass from the real
world is just some uh lime green fishnets and that's just how i'm looking so i mean i understand
people honking cat calling me i expect that you really can't say much you're walking around in
lime green fishnets they're honking at you and you're like, what about how I'm dressed tells you
that's the kind of attention I'm looking for.
Her shirt says honk if you love titties.
It's like, I'm wearing stuff like that.
And it was like the only time where I've been catcalled.
I'm like, huh, maybe I'm not going out enough.
Like, I only go out whenever i'm doing like big
events like if there's like a live show and i go to the city and i walk around also i walk around
in groups too so that also helps it's probably a good idea safety yeah definitely you look tiny
like somebody can like snap you up and run away with you aren't you five'7"? I am 5'7". I am fiercer than I look.
I will bite.
I will kick.
I have four years of taekwondo training underneath my belt,
so I know how to kick,
and I know how the best place to punch someone is in their penis.
There you go.
Unless they're into cock and ball torture,
and they hear a couple of them.
That's still the best place.
Just in case I think you stick with the group plan.
Yeah.
You still do Taekwondo?
Or you're out of practice?
I'm out of practice.
I did Taekwondo from
first and second grade
and then seventh through ninth grade. That was when I did Taekwondo from first and second grade and then seventh through ninth grade.
That was when I did Taekwondo.
I still know the basic fundamental stuff like stance and the kicks because I've
done it so many times.
I just know how to do it intuitively.
What would happen if a man tried to pin you down?
Would he be in deep trouble, you think?
Yes.
I'm slippery.
I would flail my arms around.
A windmill, right, right.
I would be like, woo!
That's often seen in the UFC.
You know your taekwondo well.
I have a daughter, and it's a balancing act.
We better get out of here. This bitch is trained.
You want to, on one hand, let them know
they're a strong woman who has, I don't know,
worth and strength. Don't back down.
On the other hand, don't really do that. That's not a good plan.
Bring a gun.
If he can, run.
If he can, run.
Do you have a gun?
I don't have a gun, no.
Aren't you in LA?
No, I'm in Kentucky.
You're the only one
without a gun.
You're in a huge area.
Can't you get a mail-in
concealed carry in kentucky
constitutional carry just oh my
god you know right there's
really no concealing in that
outfit although carry although
craft who allure craft is with
a gun with a fun fun cosplay
idea actually um but okay my
my only exposure to like actual firing a gun because i don't have much experience firing guns
but i did have uh my friend eric wong who is a gun instructor teach me how to fire a gun and i
have a very fun story about this so i was being
taught like okay you got you have the proper gun stuff okay you gotta hold down fire when you're
ready and when you said fire i fired the gun before he finished the sentence i said i just
fired the gun he was like oh i wasn't finished with my sentence.
Premature detonation.
That happens to first timers.
Yeah, I guess I was just really excited to fire the gun.
But that taught me a lesson to not act immediately when I'm being told to act.
Did you shoot anyone?
I did not shoot anyone, luckily.
He was out of the way.
Not that time.
You should get a gun. I should get a gun.
I don't know much about guns, though.
I've only shot...
What's to know?
Kyle's a subject matter expert.
Yeah, but you've seen so many movies.
Kyle, what gun would you put her in?
I wouldn't.
The phrasing was stupid.
A trained
young lady, I would want her
to have a compact clock that fits her
hand right and holds so many bullets
that it's just a
noise-making machine forever.
One of those little
compact clocks. I don't know the model numbers
anymore. They introduce one every two or three
years, and I don't keep up with it, obviously.
One of the little ones that holds a bunch of bullets.
Compact Glock.
Right back there.
Subcompact, even. But you want a bunch of bullets.
That's the main thing. Lots of bullets.
Nine mil, maybe? Because you're going to miss a lot.
Yeah.
You just need to hit a couple times.
Or just keep making noise.
If you're still shooting...
I remember those Derringer pistols,
those little breakdown things that you put two bullets in.
I was like, what are you doing with that?
I have one in each sock.
What if you go bang, bang, and now you're out,
and they just start clubbing you to death
because you tried to kill them,
or you wounded them with that piece of shit?
I want so many bullets.
If you are in a self-defense gun situation though mint you can't
be firing up in the air or you'll end up like boogie you got to shoot to kill i yeah if i'm
pointing a gun at somebody it means i'm intentionally trying to kill them that's the
only reason to shoot a gun at some point a gun at someone yeah that's my intent sometimes you
fire one a fifth grade playground just to just to spook frank castle sometimes you just want to scare into a fifth grade playground just to spook Frank Castle.
Sometimes you just want to let them know you're serious.
So in that case, you pointed out.
Would I hit them with the back of the gun first before shooting at them?
Every time.
See, that's called counting coup.
In Native American tribes, that was one of the things you had to do to become a Great Plains chief.
Had to count coup upon your enemy, ride up on him, slap the shit out of him, hit him with a coup stick.
Those coup sticks are neat.
I don't know what a coup stick is.
It's sort of this long stick on the end.
It's bulbous, usually wrapped in leather.
Like a shillelagh.
That's not a rock in the end of it?
Like a shillelagh, a Native American shillelagh, thank you.
I don't know what a shillelagh is.
It could be a rock or some sort of
implement.
Irish people used to fight with.
Just like a hardened piece of wood.
And gangs of New York.
Zach, I'll pull up a picture.
Oh, here we go.
That's a perfect weapon, actually. you can fuck somebody up with that thing
i like how in your scenario mint you seem like the primary aggressor
wanting to hit someone with your gun before you threaten them yeah so maybe
maybe are you mugging someone in this scenario is that what that goes for yeah
that's the ultimate benefit you can you can rob any size man that's not how i imagined it though
that's not what i imagined either like a stick with a rock strapped in the in the movies they
have it exactly in the movies i i see this stick and on the end like i said there's it's very
ceremonial feathers and such it's decorated but on the end, like I said, it's very ceremonial, feathers and such.
It's decorated, but on the end, there's a hard,
bulbous part that seems to be part...
You know, the stick was shaped like that
to kind of cup something, but also there's been
like a... Yeah, something more like that.
They ride along and they sort of do like an
uppercut sort of whip, like
slap the guy with it. That's Counting Coup.
I might have seen that in 1883.
There was a guy who,
uh, did the,
the fucking,
I don't remember what the other things you have to do to become a great
plains chief or a great plains warrior or whatever.
Uh,
it was,
but he did them in world war two.
He,
uh,
he,
he stole some horses from the Germans.
Cause that,
that's one of them.
You got to steal your enemy's horses.
So he found like some German horses and ripped them off.
Uh,
apparently he wrote up and killed, uh, counted coup on a German, slapped the shit out of him, and rode away.
Dude, if I were a soldier in war, in World War II, World War I, any kind of war where there's no chance my feats were being recorded,
I am lying my ass off about what I achieve.
It's like, Taylor, where'd you go?
And I'm not going to tell him I was having MRE diarrhea
just out of sight behind a tree.
I'm going to cover myself
in my own blood and be like,
don't even go over there
because there's so many dead
krauts in the fucking place.
He was such a coward, he got a little poop on me.
Have you?
And look, he's got his vomit
all over my shirt
because he was so scared. i really fucked him up i am i really fucked him up like all right
we're gonna go confirm your kills i'm like don't even worry about it i don't i'm not in it for the
accolades boys i'm in it for the discounts at rental car companies for the next 70 years
have you uh have you ever seen legends of the fall no it's brad pitt movie uh
anthony hopkins is and a couple other people are in it too but basically it's right around the world
war one time and this rich ass white family lives on their huge estate um out in like montana or
something and the boy gets in his head that he's gonna go fight in world war one for freedom or
whatever and uh but he's kind of the bitch made brother so brad pitt who was kind of halfway raised by
uh like an indian chief is like gonna go to world war one to like look after homeboy
right away the the bitch made brother gets like mustard gassed and then tangled in the wire and
he's like blind he's like help help and the germans like machine gun him up well brad pitt loses his
shit and he channels all that that like savage native american shit that is uh the other guy
taught him and he starts sneaking around at night and he jumps into the foxholes and kills germans
with his with his hatchet and he's scalping them and cutting their hearts out and shit it's crazy
he rides back into camp all like covered in blood with german scalps
and they send him home right away dude no one covers their their face and like the blood of
their enemies post aid scare oh it wasn't no it was the blood of his brother because he couldn't
get his brother's body home so he cut his brother's heart out and he's holding the heart he's holding
brad pitt's holding this heart and he's just having a meltdown looking at it. And he takes
the blood and rubs it all over his face.
That's upsetting. Wow.
If someone tried to comfort me, they're like, your brother was killed
in the battle, but here's his heart.
Brad Pitt cut it out.
What's wrong with you? Get out of here.
He mailed it home.
He mailed it home. He's like, sorry, Dad. I couldn't
get Billy out, but
here's his heart. So You can bury it next to Sarah
or whatever the fuck.
Brad Pitt goes hard in the paint in that movie.
That sounds like an intense movie.
It's more of a love story.
What?
It's a big, long epic.
There's a girl who's the love interest of both
Bitch Made Kid and Brad Pitt
at one point. This whole love triangle.
It's a long ass uh uh
movie but the world how long is it fucking two and a half hours probably oh wow nice and long
it seems like modern movies are getting longer and longer that i agree with they are and it's not
entirely justified that murder of the flower moon killer of the flower killers of the flower moon that movie
was so much long and it was an hour longer than it needed to be an entire hour like it was there
was a a scene i was watching i was my brother and i were watching it and like this scene came up for
like a minute like probably 80 seconds that just showed us still like slowly zooming in through a foggy window showing a farm burning and this is this is two hours and 10
minutes into the film and you're like dude this is you're spitting in my face right now scorsese
you know what you're telling me with this scene you're telling me my time's worthless
every scene in the movie should be adding to the story, progressing the plot.
It should mean a thing.
You shouldn't get there and be...
So, no, maybe he had a purpose for that.
I haven't seen the movie.
But knowing Scorsese in his later years, Taylor, I would bet on you and say that, man, he probably could have cut five seconds of that eight-second hold on the fire away.
And they'd have still understood that the cabin was on fire,
and this was a big deal.
Easily.
Yeah, we're not watching the departed anymore from him.
He needs to hang him up.
The departed is such a gem.
Oh, man.
Yeah, the departed was great.
Killers of the Flower Moon.
Dude, when they blow Homeboy's head off in the elevator,
like three-quarters of the way through,
it's just like, whoa, you can't kill DiCaprio.
That was great. It was out of nowhere i uh i do have an opinion on uh killers of the flower moon i don't want to spoil it too much but i will say this there is no ending it's
just him coming up and this is how it would have ended just it felt like okay so you give me a
long ass movie and you're not even going to finish it
you're just going to tell me what happens at the end with a like a jazz band playing behind you
this was such a waste of time of a movie that's how incredible it was watching mostly like great
movies or are you watching silly movies too i guess you said Power Rangers. That answers that. I'm watching
a healthy mix,
I would say. Some great movies.
Some movies that a lot
of people have already seen that I haven't seen
like Robocop.
Some classic movies
but also some really goofy movies.
A movie that I watched recently.
Poultry Geist. Have you heard watched recently, Poultry Geist.
Have you heard of that?
Poultry Geist?
Poultry Geist.
I thought you said it incorrectly
and I was going to let it slide.
Not to embarrass her.
Poultry Geist?
Is that like an anti-meat eating thing?
Poultry Geist,
Night of the Chicken Dead
is what its full title is.
It's so weird. It's so goofy.
It starts off
funny and then it goes into
really gross both gore
and body humor
territory.
I'm not a big fan of
horror.
I don't like body humor at all. humor territory i'm like uh you want to recognize the kind of movie my son would watch i am like instinctively asking you what year it came out and guessing how long it is body horror or body
humor i don't like body humor or oh i i don't like fart jokes but i equally don't like when
the horror is oh no our skin's falling out like cabin fever where they get that like skin melty
disease i'm not into that i'm'm not scared. I'm just annoyed.
It's more intense than
fart humor.
A very pivotal moment
is there's this fat guy who
eats this pulsating egg,
and in order for this egg to
come out of this guy's body,
this guy just shits everywhere.
I hate that. I'm like,
I wish I didn't see this at all. It showed him shitting everywhere? Yes hate that and i'm like oh i wish i didn't see this it showed
him shitting everywhere yes it did it showed him just that can be on the cutting room i don't even
like those parts of jackass where danger aaron or whoever poops i always i skip it too i'm like i'm
i know what happens here i know what happens i don't need to see it to know what happens here
i've seen this little model bathroom before and i know what's about. I know what happens. I don't need to see it to know what happens here. I've seen this little model bathroom before,
and I know what's about to cover the entire little fake porcelain toilet.
Is this a disgusting turd?
Yeah.
I don't like movies like that.
What's that guy's name?
Cronenberg?
Is that right?
Yeah.
Who does the crazy body horror?
You don't mind that?
I've only seen The Fly. i've only seen the fly i've only seen the fly
i was it's both gross and also incredibly impressive with the practical effects i'm like
wow this is his latest movie is his latest movie i think it's either him or his son's movie they
they both direct weird shit but crimes of the future um withiggo Mortensen was so weird.
It was just odd.
It wasn't great, but it was well made.
And it was this whole new futuristic dystopian world where the performance art was like open, like vivisection, essentially.
So Viggo Mortensen's deal is he gets dissected, opened up, and his organs.
Oh, that's the thing.
He's mutated in such a way that he grows these mutated extra organs in his body cavity.
And his female sexy partner cuts him open and removes them for this audience of rich snobs.
And it's really weird because they build upon the idea of the
sort of why he's mutating,
why people are mutating.
It's pollution, of course.
And a few other interesting concepts.
Did you get the feeling watching it that it was
kind of like
a smell your
own farts kind of movie?
Like it was really up its own ass with
the artsy fartsy bits of it.
There was nothing ever at stake.
It was gross for the sake of grossness.
I thought it was dumb.
I thought there were some sexy parts,
honestly,
like,
like there was,
um,
what's the,
the chick Kristen Stewart is in it.
And she's like,
he's got this weird biomechanical chair that looks like a rib cage with legs
that sort of feeds him.
It jiggles his body in such a way
that it helps him digest.
He's so mutated, this thing needs to
massage his midsection
and jiggle him about.
The mechanism by which it moves
looks like the way...
Remember Pee Wee's Playhouse, the mailbox?
It kind of
saunters in, sticks in.
It looked ridiculous.
Kristen Stewart shows up and she's wanting to like masturbate in this chair.
She's wanting to like have sex with them on the chair.
Like the chair, it's this, it's this extravagant luxury that she's like, wait, she's there to repair something.
She works for the company that makes them.
She works for the company that makes them.
She's like, you've got an L500
auto digester chair
and he's got all
these gadgets because he's rich. It's a really
fucking weird movie. I want Woody to watch this movie because
I know more than I've ever
done anything in the world that he would be on
my side that it sucks.
I thought it was bad too.
After it was over, I was like... I don't know. I'm kind of interested.
Kristen Stewart does what?
I'm pretty sure she gets naked.
Maybe she does. I don't remember.
I think she lezes out
with the other repair lady.
How is this a bad movie?
She's eating her butthole in the chair.
Oh, wow.
Oh, damn it.
I guess I really wasn't paying attention.
There was analingus.
What the... Personally, I am more I guess I really wasn't paying attention like there was analingus what the
personally I am more into
movies like Yo Jimbo
and Doctor Strangelove
I'm not really into gore that much
but I really do like
movies
where there's
a heavy emphasis on
satire like satire
like Doctor Strangelove have you seen that movie uh yeah i
was i i i begged you to watch it and then had it put on the plex for you about a month and a half
ago and you laughed in my face like usual and then i watched it i'm joking i watched it just
give me a refresher he didn't watch it what do you what do you think of george what do you think
of george c scott's performance you know he's know i thought it left a lot i love him in patent but but man as the as the general he was incredible
right he's more of a side character for me i don't put that much stock into his performance
who is the guy there was a guy who i forget his name but he um was both um a military guy and
he's also the german doctor in the wheelchair and he was doing both performances so well
and there's a guy who reminds me of Tim Robinson
actually which is why I think I like the movie so much. There's a guy who just
he looks like him and he acts like him
I'm like what is going on? This is from the 60s how did tim robinson get here
he's the uh i think you should leave guy right yes he is okay i've seen someone else seen goon
those movies there's two of them the hockey movies yes i've watched i've seen both the
hockey movies goon i don't know i think i've seen the second one the first one's really good i think
so the first one is one of those movies that when it came out,
it got reviews where people were like,
you know, this movie with its cast of retards is actually good.
Check this out.
I'm not going to win any awards.
It's not Slapshot, but it's good.
I like it more.
I like it more than Slapshot.
The second movie, I thought, took the good elements of the first movie,
leaned on him too hard to where it was
a little weird.
Okay. Guy retires,
works at an insurance company.
He's no longer a hockey player, and he's kind of struggling
to find happiness.
And his mentor
auto-asphyxiate masturbates.
He hangs himself while also
jerking off in the... and i was just like i
don't know they're pushing it a little hard like the whole like raunchy there's one guy who curses
so much it's like a profanity tourette's and he can't say three words without one of them being
bad i just remember that one scene in the first one being very funny where the goon like has to
start rooming with the skill player and he's like it's like there's one rule in the first one being very funny where the goon has to start rooming with the skill player.
He's like, there's one rule in this
place. Don't touch my fucking
Percocets.
Then that was it. He was just a Perc
addict.
There's only one rule. Don't touch my fucking
Percocets. We won't have a problem.
It was a good movie.
I really like it.
What kind of comedy movies do you like man or are you not
big on um it really it really is hit or miss with me when there's a movie that's labeled
itself as comedy um i like comedy movies that are more satirical and uh comment on
like society how did you like robocop then because that's you
that's what that is huh i liked robocop i felt like robocop was very very actiony like i felt
like it was more actiony than comedy in some uh some aspects oh for sure um i really like the interspliced uh dystopian tv commercials there's
uh they're ridiculous um i like the uh the jesus allegory so you've got peter weller's character
getting crucified um being resurrected from the dead and then walking on the water uh at the end
before self-realizing and becoming um murphy again just RoboCop. But the satirical part of it,
of like big corporate America taking over was super ahead of its time.
I think because you have global tech or whatever it's called.
I'm spacing right now.
Like they privatize the police force.
They take over Detroit.
I mean,
they predicted the fall of Detroit,
you know,
Detroit going bankrupt and everything, except in this world, it allows this corporation to just buy the city, tear the
city down and like put in their new high rises or whatever. But to do that, they first privatized
the police force to drive crime sky high so that, you know, every property values diminished and
they could buy everything. I love that one. But Paulul verhoeven's really i love the blanks um
starship troopers is the other one that i would recommend if you're if you're on a kick like that
actually speaking of movies what movie would you recommend me watch starship troopers
because that's also verhoeven um so Starship Troopers, based on this novel,
I don't know if there are multiples of them,
but the whole thing, some people see it as a dumb action movie,
and you can watch it for that.
But the point is that we are looking at a Nazi future
where not only has there clearly been some racial purification of South America,
because we're in Buenos Aires and everybody's white. But also the military and veterans are in control of society. It's a
totalitarian, fascist, military-driven government, world government. And it's interspliced with those
same sort of ads, but they're from the military that you're
learning about the enemy and the enemy is the bugs the alien bugs that we got to go we got to go to
their planet and kill them because they're trying to get us and it's like but they don't have
spaceships out of this no no no they're after us they they 9-11 us and they even have like a false
flag 9-11 in the movie and we've got to go get them. It's like the real 9-11.
I think it was before 9-11.
They predicted 9-11.
They did.
Have you seen those pictures they'll use sometimes?
They'll be like, the Simpsons predicted this.
And it's like, I get sometimes these can be fun, but
don't include the
50 million stretch examples.
Just include the good ones. It'll be a little more compelling. You weaken your good cases when you add the 50 million stretch examples. Just include the good ones.
It'll be a little more compelling.
You weaken your good cases when you add the bad ones.
Exactly.
And it's like they've made 800 episodes.
You've never heard of...
They probably have a lower right ratio
than fucking Alex Jones.
Just going on ratios.
Because at least Alex Jones is right about frogs and shit.
Have you ever seen Triumph of Will or heard of it?
It's the Nazi propaganda film.
I have not heard of it. All right it? It's the Nazi propaganda film. I have not heard of it.
All right.
So it's a Nazi propaganda film.
So the only thing to...
You guys don't watch it every Christmas?
But what you can take from it is you can see the parallels between that and Starship Troopers.
It's like a shot.
There are some shots that are just taken from that nazi propaganda film to
really hammer home if you've seen the nazi propaganda film like the formations what is it
called uh triumph of will triumph of will uh every actor in there that's you know it's it's about the
nazi military it's like a propaganda film but they're all like gorgeous hollywood looking
actors like blonde hair blue eyes for every act and they do that as well in Starship Troopers.
So it's a it's a really satirical, fun movie.
Yeah, I can see the the cover of this movie, Triumph of the Will.
They did not soft sell it.
This is an intense looking cover.
Yeah, they're all angular, jawed German man.
A lot of right angles.
Yeah.
The eagle. That's a good look uh and also if you want a silly one a samurai cop is so bad it's good uh there's a they they tried to do a
lethal weapon ripoff you know like old black surly cop young hip white cop with long hair
they just and it's so bad it's good like it's it's really it's terribly acted
it was written by a non-english speaker and he wouldn't let them change the delivery of the lines
so you can imagine what that's like when they have to deliver these long monologues listen here
you son of a bitch you come here to my american country and try to push your crime crime and drugs on my people
no more will i allow the room vibes and everybody's acting like it's serious but the best part for me
little detail is they wrapped shooting and homeboy cut his hair he did have this long ass like hair
well we need to come back so they put this wig on him
that looks so bad uh but samurai cops free somewhere i promise and it's it's kind of known
as one of the so bad it's good movies like one of it's that it's the room uh that's the other one
that's you know the worst movie ever yeah and then it's troll two troll two is the one where
the kid like pisses on the dinner like like they're it's it's it's Troll 2 Troll 2 is the one where the kid like pisses on the dinner
like it's fucking
Have you ever actually watched all of the room?
I have watched
all of it. None of it.
It's really difficult like
it's a movie that when you watch it
you know that it's like
the worst tier acting ever
that one dude like oh hi mark like just like not not
emphasizing things correctly he's like oh do you want to go to the roof and we can throw the
football like just like weird cadences and shit but if you if it was like a movie that you didn't
have the backstory on and you just started watching it it could fool you for like 20 minutes into thinking that it's like primer where you'd be
watching everything like every iota of every frame has a meaning and something needs to be predicted
before you realize that like wait a minute this guy was playing a different character two scenes
ago this is a different man now they expect me to believe that adam is now alan did they forget the
names and then his own voice is dubbed in over the entire film and so you can see him like not quite meshing up like he's
his laughs don't match up like oh mark you are so silly ha ha ha but like
in the audio he laughs more than that it doesn't so, it's good. I don't usually say that about movies.
Usually I think bad movies are bad.
The Room is one that I enjoyed watching.
Maybe it's the fucking sick sexy.
When they play,
they go to the roof at one point.
It's like, hey, Chris,
let's go to the roof. We can chat it out.
And then they go up there
and they're standing
three feet from each other. And they're both in there and they're like standing three feet from each other and they're
both in frame and they're throwing the football maybe maybe 30 inches to and fro with each other
because you know it said throw football back and forth back and forth and then like the background
there's no movement it's just a still of a foggy day in san francisco or some shit like there's
it's a map yeah it's so bad it's good and i like a foggy day in san francisco or some shit like there's it's a
map yeah it's so bad it's good and i like those so bad they're good movies sometimes the thing is
like they can't try to have made it bad they can't be like get a load of this horror movie we're
gonna make so bad people are gonna joke about it like it needs to be a sincere attempt that falls
flat yeah i promise you samurai cop is that in spades it's it's so bad i watched
it uh when we were in colorado with dirty and we were just dying laughing some of the there's this
one scene where like the nurse says his dick's not big enough she asked him if they cut off too
much when he got circumcised and they're like they're like going back and forth and there's
no reason for this raunchy conversation to even happen. They're just in a hallway.
He's a cop and she's a nurse.
Then they cut to the black guy.
It's a meme you've probably seen.
He goes...
He's like black guy with a mustache.
He's like...
Getting spicy in here.
Exactly.
As far as movie recommendations,
have you seen Lord of the Rings?
Which one?
The whole gaggle. All three.
I've only seen the first one.
Then I recommend you watch the second and the third one.
That's about
it for me as far as movie recommendations.
You have to watch Lord of the Rings.
The rest of the way.
No, don't listen to him.
Is it Walking Stimulator?
It's the best movie
series of all time, and I've seen
dozens of films.
It's far and away the best.
Are there any other walking films you enjoy, Taylor?
All three Lord of the Rings.
Yeah, but you need the walking
to show how far it is.
Mordor's not a hop,
skip, and a jump. It was quite a trek.
You can't simply walk there, I'm told.
Yeah, Mordor, you can't just skip and a jump. It was quite a trip. We walk there. I'm told.
Yeah.
You can't just, you know, skip in there.
You got to do someone showed a map the other day, like super. Of course, they use the United States to compare and show Frodo's journey.
But it seemed like he walked from like South Georgia to like up to Missouri, where Taylor is, and then hung a right and went all the way to Kentucky.
It was a big long thing but it
didn't take them years and years the crazy thing about that that they gloss over thankfully in the
movie is get they find the ring gandalf like tells frodo he's like keep it secret keep it safe and
then he goes to like menace tirith right isn't he gone 18 years before he comes back and they like
follow up on the ring yeah it's supposed to be like a big, it's like
seven years or something in between the scene
where Gandalf's like, keep it secret, keep it safe.
And then a huge amount of time passes.
Oh, they superimpose this?
I'm going to need you to send me this map.
Wow, Frodo and Sam absolutely
mogging Bilbo's journey.
Not even close, even though they got distracted
there in the bottom it looks maybe had to go around a mountain
range yeah dude if you're doing
if you're doing daily movie reviews
you got to toss there's three days for you right there
fellowship two towers
return of the king she doesn't
maybe want to watch four hour movies to get
her review material she I
watched the I watched the first Lord of the Rings
and I gotta say I watched the extended cut of the rings and i gotta say i watched the
extended cut by the way just clarify and it was worth the three hours i felt it used the three
hours very well agreed and there are movies where i feel like they didn't use the three hours very
well they this movie establishes the entire world and by the end of it I'm like oh shit this is the end of the three hours
I thought it was going to go on for longer
yeah like it's not there's nothing
wrong with long movies as long
as it's a long story they're telling
it's so much she didn't bother to
watch the other two well that's
she's just biding her time she's
going to watch the last two and then she's going to
come back on here again and be like oh
Taylor you were so right.
I didn't even remember any of Kyle's dumbass recommendations.
Lord of the Rings rules.
It's the best movie of all time.
Not the best book of all time.
We can all be real about that.
It's I've never read the book, so I wouldn't know.
It's a hard read.
He is a bad author who thinks he can't make mistakes.
He's he's he's bad bad at pacing his pacing leaves a lot
to be desired he clearly needed more editing he needed someone in his ear being like hey
this world you're building is awesome but these 30 pages in a row talking about the flora and fauna
of the shire we got to move past this a little faster. Can you get to the action?
And then sometimes he would do something that,
I rip on George R.R. Martin all the time,
but something that George R.R. Martin doesn't do
is like breeze past battles.
Like Martin will spend way too much time on feasts and shit,
but he also, he'll spend enough time on a battle usually.
Lord of the Rings like is aggravating as shit sometimes because it'll be a huge buildup for some battle, like particularly at the end of the first book when they fight the Uruk-hai.
And it's like, oh, here it comes.
You know, you know, when you're reading a book and you're like getting you start turning the pages faster because you're reading faster because you're anticipating the good part showing up.
And then it's like, oh, that was six pages.
There's 45 pages of lead up
six pages of fighting and now you know four pages about how bad it is that boromir died
what's the spider's name she lob she lob there are three or four pages describing that it's dark out
on the way to that battle and i'm you try reading four pages of it's dark it's dark it's darkity dark it's so dark you can't
see your feet it's so dark you can't see your hand it's so dark you can't tell where you're going
it's darkity dark dark dark there's no moon out it's dark dark dark and i'm just like good
fucking lord i get it i get it i get it i got a long time ago one page was more than enough
oh yeah he does do that uh he dwells way too long on certain things. But overall, it's carried by the fact that it's an incredible world and the story itself is so good.
Did he invent a lot of what an elf is, what a dwarf is?
A lot of the reason he, or a stated reason that he wrote Lord of the Rings initially was he was like,
oh, so much King Arthur style ancient like english lore like like fables legends
myths and stuff he's like we've lost so much of that i'm gonna make a new one i'm creating a new
kind of mythos lore of england and all this and so he got way too into some parts because his goal
wasn't just to write a book he was trying to like flesh out the world in a in a really thorough way which he did
uh but yeah not not the greatest book i i heard i uh i've never i said i never read it but the
only thing that i heard about the lord of the rings books is that um it takes a lot of time to describe the world, like you said.
And I find that to be actually very useful in a book.
Like I haven't read that many books, but with books, some books,
it's some authors don't take enough time to describe the world that we're
living in. So I get confused a lot but i feel like having is it is it wrong to have too
much detail or not enough detail yeah i'd rather have too much if it's between too much and not
enough but like something else that tolkien does a shit ton in those books is something that i know
like more artsy people probably like like it'll just break from the story and be like,
and then Frodo and Sam sang a song
and it's just like a whole page of like a song he wrote
or like poems he wrote.
And so anytime I'm reading those books or rereading them
and I get to one of those like specially indented,
formatted, like this is a poem section, skip it.
I skip the whole way past it which
amounts to probably like 30 pages of lord of the rings i haven't read if you were to prorate it
because he did a lot of those so you're not a big reader except for comics i assume you're big
i'm um just now getting into comics this past year, what really helped us,
what really helped me get into comics
was the whole Eric July thing,
mainly because his ice cream is just bad art.
And so I was like, man, this sucks.
I got to look into comics that are good.
And through my reading comics
I'm just discovering a lot of really good comics
getting into
Shotgun Samurai, Wanted
The Walking Dead
I'm just looking at a few
that I've started to read and i'm just like i i'm doing a daily
comic book review on um for canon sake dot live which is why i'm always getting in so many into
comics because i'm doing the daily comic review on top of the uh daily movie review but also uh i have a i have a thought
non-sequitur to comics but it's based on your guys's recommendation you guys recommended this
uh when you guys when dick was on uh you guys were talking about Oz. Yeah.
I never heard of Oz until I heard you guys talking about it.
My producer boyfriend, Young Clippa, and I,
he's the guy that went to Eric July's warehouse.
We started watching Oz, and I was like,
whoa, this is intense.
Hurt your feelings.
Yeah. Yeah, I love Oz. whoa this is intense this is feelings yeah yeah i i love lies it's it's i don't know it's really good you don't like it i think it's very well made and well acted i think it's just
depressing subject matter that's unrelentingly grim and dark and and but there's no like shine
to it like like when it's not grim and dark it's not like it's fun and quirky and dark and and but there's no like shine to it like like when it's not grim and dark it's
not like it's fun and quirky and exciting and it's like the prison system oh yeah i've watched it too
through dude just when you think things are turning around that the guy's like finally
getting a knack for surviving in the prism system you realize he's being played and it goes worse than you could have imagined it always goes
no one ever wins in oz you just lose a little less yeah wait who is your favorite character
yeah who's your favorite character oh i think it depends on the season because early show
beecher kind of sucks he's just getting bullied and raped by nazis and then like late series beecher has
become so disconnected from reality that like he actually scares people now because they're like
yeah that's the kind of guy that'll just like he would happily die right just now he'll shit on you
leave him alone on you he'll bite your penis off when like because he bit that nazi's dick off
like yeah so beecher gets better as the show goes on uh the guy he's in those insurance commercials the head nazi i don't know
what the actor's name is schillinger yeah yeah it's chilling her uh schillinger it's uh he's
really good he's a great actor i like him at a bc simmons yeah jk simmons he's good uh the black guy
who somehow keeps that tiny hat on his head,
Adebisi.
Wimbe?
I like him a lot.
Oh, I know who said it.
What is it?
Adebisi.
Adebisi.
Yeah.
And then the old WAP in the early seasons
was kind of like the last holdout of a guy in charge
who was keeping things kind of in line.
And then once the old Dago got removed
from his position of power,
it went wild and crazy in Emerald City and all that.
Yeah, I'm glad you checked out Oz.
How much, have you watched the whole thing?
I've watched up to like midway through season five.
So I'm almost done with it.
I think my favorite character,
I really like Augustus.
He's such a great narrator.
And I like those bits where he's in the box,
the clear box,
and he's commentating on like all the,
like just what's happening in the story.
And there's always some sort of poetic thing that he's saying that applies to
what's happening and also it's so raw and well written how each episode is a self-contained
story and it follows many all other stories within that and does it so well that i'm able to catch up
what's happening with everyone uh i think i'm at the part now where um
fuck what is uh o'reilly and his uh retarded brother cyril yeah yes yes uh ryan and cyril
i'm at the point where cyril is on the death row and i'm like oh man this guy it's so sad because like his his mother is advocating for him to stay
alive and Ryan's just like no he's not going to survive here but his mother doesn't understand
what it's like to live in Oz yeah and so they have a theater teacher I'm getting anxious sitting here listening i love dark material it is very dark like and i remember
like i liked ryan o'reilly as a character he was great but a lot of the reason that
cyril ended up on death row is because ryan kept fucking up like yeah basic like cyril who is ryan's
retarded younger brother is also like the most skilled boxer in the prison.
And he can just he can piece anyone up, fucks people up.
He just he just loves boxing.
And so over and over, like Ryan will be like, hey, Cyril, Adebisi stole one of your Twinkies.
And Cyril's like, Adebisi did that.
stole one of your Twinkies.
And Cyril's like,
Adebisi did that?
Oh no.
And then he'll just go beat the absolute shit
out of Adebisi
or whoever the character is.
And then like afterward,
Cyril's being dragged away
by guards
and Ryan's like,
Cyril, no!
Why is this happening?
And it's like,
because you just keep
sicking your retarded brother
on all of your enemies.
And eventually,
he kills a couple guys
by just knocking them out so hard.
And then he ends up on death row.
And the whole time,
like it's not until he's on death row that Ryan even has the most
teeniest bit of,
of sincere remorse.
I haven't mentioned Chris Keller at all.
Chris Keller is a good character.
Oh,
he's the baddest.
Oh yeah.
He's so evil. He's a bisexual psychopath who. Oh, yeah. He's so evil.
He's a bisexual psychopath
who seduces
Belcher. Is that his name?
Beecher.
And gets him to love him.
And I think maybe they actually did love each other
for some period. It's hard.
I either got fooled by it or it was real.
But he still
just ruined this guy's life and does he eventually like
take down the whole fucking prison or something well the indians around the two of them i don't
want to spoil it for her but the indians around speecher and uh and uh and that guy that guy's
from svu you know that's that's what he was like known for he's the main guy uh in svu but every
time i see him in some smaller role he does a really good job i like that guy you
never watched oz through all the way did you kyle you got to oh i watched it all no no i watched it
all i know i know how that thing ends you know that's dude any show that opens up with like
man i got fooled by the first episode of oz when beacher goes in and he's all timid and the
jk simmons river is like you gotta be careful of all the blacks around here
come on I talked to the head
warden you're staying in my cell
we'll be cellies and then I'm like man
it sure is good that the all state guy is here to
help protect Beecher
and then like
15 minutes of screen time he's
like pop those pants off
you belong to me now
oh god day one swastika tattooed
on his ass it's pretty brutal uh okay he brushed his teeth at home that morning
i uh lance riddick uh from john wick was great in it too i'll rip in peace though oh yeah yeah
he's the like incredibly lean africanlooking black man with the English accent who's in everything.
He was in Spartacus back in the day.
Oh, yes.
I know who he is.
He's the undercover agent.
Yeah.
He's like, I can go in and get the drug.
And then they're like, hey, maybe our plan should be a little different.
Maybe we shouldn't send a recovering heroin addict in to buy heroin and like,
tell us about it.
And they're like,
that's interesting.
But you know,
we've only got one guy and he's a recovering heroin addict.
The wire,
the wire features him heavily.
He's like a main,
main character of it.
And he's very good.
Yeah.
He's,
he's like the higher up Lieutenant,
maybe,
you know,
as the show goes on,
people are getting promoted,
but I think he's,
he's Lieutenant from the, from the beginning. As the show goes on, people are getting promoted, but I think he's Lieutenant from the beginning.
The Wire is the
premier old school HBO
show, if you've already seen The Sopranos,
I guess. I haven't seen either of those.
I can't get on board
with this Oz thing. If anybody's listening
to this and thinks it's a good idea to watch,
it's a depression simulator.
It'll make you feel bad about
your day. You'll go to bed'll make it'll make you feel bad about your day like you'll
go to bed at night that night better exactly or make you a little thankful i didn't get molested
by any white supremacists today i didn't have to to box this giant italian dude i get to sleep in
my bed a little bit of thankfulness it's you know it's how you spin it internally i guess because
you went to prison it's different yeah that. Yeah, that's part of it.
I think Kyle watched it as prison was looming
over him.
What a stupid time to watch Oz.
I think that I had watched it
and was like, maybe in the
last season, and then I got arrested.
Kyle spent
two months
in federal prison for marijuana
oh
is Oz accurate?
it's exactly like that
I raped so many people
like first thing you do
you find the biggest meanest guy
on day one and you rape him
you suck his dick
yeah you
blow him
you walk into there and you find the biggest dude you can
suck his dick yeah no yeah um no i went to like uh like a junior grade prison they're in
like federal maximum security you killed people prison yeah ah real that makes sense
yeah that's why so many of them have so little to lose, which is the scariest thing ever when someone has nothing to lose.
Yeah, it is.
Another series that I do want to watch more of and review this year,
start reviewing this year, is Star Trek.
You guys into Star Trek?
I've never seen an episode, but tee off, Kyle.
Let her ask questions. Yeah, I'm a Star Trek episode, but tee off, Kyle. Let her ask questions.
I'm a Star Trek expert,
I would say. What do you want to know?
Well,
which series
do you like the most?
Deep Space Nine has the most
character development, and
it does the best at not
being too serialized. You have to keep in mind
Star Trek was mostly produced during the days of no TiVo even.
Like no way to stream.
The episodes had to be serialized.
You had to be able to throw up season two, episode three, and then season four, episode seven back to back and really not even care.
They should flow into each other because we're,
we're,
we're,
that's how,
that's how the next generation is to some extent.
It's the one with captain Picard with the bald head and wharf and all those
people that was made from roughly 1991 to like the,
the later nineties,
97 or something like that.
And then they made four movies.
I think that one's my second favorite,
but it suffers from that because each episode has
to be its own thing, and there's not
a ton of carryover,
especially until later seasons with
particular characters. Deep Space Nine,
however, it's
not a spaceship that travels around
exploring or getting into hijinks. It's
all about a space station, so there's
this influx of commerce and traffic
and races from all
over the the place and i like that one a lot deep space nine is very good uh that's young clip his
favorite actually star trek's deep space nine he showed me a couple of episodes and i really like
the premise uh i think my favorite even i haven't seen much but i will say that i like the original series a lot i've seen like
10 episodes i don't know it's something about their acting they just seem so serious and they're
it because they're so serious it helps me believe the world that they're in even if the props look
like it's from just like cardboard cut out they just made it right before the props look like it's from cardboard cutout.
They just made it right before the shot.
Yeah.
The way that they were so serious about it, I was like, okay, so that's what their consoles look like.
Cardboard.
Got it.
That's what the future is like.
Yeah, I grew up watching that one when I was like five, watching that with my dad on the couch or whatever.
But I can't go back to that.
There is a brand new series called strange new worlds.
And it takes place 10 years before captain Kirk takes over on the enterprise.
It's got captain Pike who,
who,
you know,
from the early episodes of the next of the original series,
it's captain Pike.
And then he gets all melted and he's in that weird wheelchair with his
melted face.
This new show, strange new worlds is all about captain Pike and it's gets all melted and he's in that weird wheelchair with his melted face. This new show Strange New Worlds is all about Captain Pike and
it's got Uhura and Spock and a few
other people in it. Strange New Worlds is fun.
You asked Kyle what his favorite Star
Trek was and I don't
know that I can defend it, but I've enjoyed Lower
Decks maybe more than any of the other ones.
I get a kick out of that thing.
When a new episode drops and
it's between seasons right now
it's a little light in my day
like oh shit there's a Lower Decks
buckle up baby this is what we're watching
Lower Decks is
the animated
and it's named after an episode
from the next generation
where you focus on
some junior grade ensigns
who are disconnected from the bridge crew
there's big happenings but we don't get let in on that i just got to turn this knob and you got
to flip that switch we do this shit um so that's what the animated series it mostly focuses on
these junior grade ensigns or whatever and uh the the voice actor for the one guy is the main character from the boys.
The quirky Howard.
Is that his name in the Huey?
Huey.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's written.
It's clearly written by huge Star Trek nerds like me.
So when there's continuous references, it feels like Rick and Morty.
But instead of referencing pop culture and other movies and TV shows, they're self-referential. They're referencing
Star Trek. But all of the Star Treks, all of the
Voyager, I've seen all that there is to see.
I've seen all the trekking. Voyager's awful.
Voyager's awful. The cook in Voyager is just a straight-up pedophile.
So in Voyager, Taylor, you up pedophile so they uh so in voyager
uh taylor you're gonna love this taylor um they get flung to the far end of the galaxy like 80
years from home it's like a problem no consent laws in that corner of space well they they pick
up this weird alien named neelix and he's got like this uh this little girl with him and then
kes and who's his main squeeze you
know and they're like ah kes what uh what species are you and she's like oh i'm okampa oh okay we
never heard of that shit before how old are you three wait what yeah we only live to five we're
like uh big dogs uh wait is it neelix like railing you every night because there's even an episode
where somebody flirts with kes and neelix gets all like Sigma male about it.
Like he's getting aggressive.
Neelix is a straight up pedophile.
And he's the most annoying character.
He is the Jar Jar Binks of Star Trek.
Yes.
Oh, no.
No.
But he likes them young.
They live to be five and she's three.
Roughly.
Maybe seven.
You know, like a great dame and so
he's fucking this
all the time who's like
it's okay because she's pretty it's like
10 years to one so she's like 30
years old she got into it i think she
was killed by police or something not that long ago
i i do realize she was
she was like barricaded in her bedroom
yeah in real life like no
all jokes aside she was i saw police in voy her bedroom. Yeah, in real life. Like no, all jokes aside.
She was, I saw a video. Yeah, there's a police in Voyager.
I thought maybe it was real life.
She got killed by the police.
The police in Star Trek are just these guys
with old football helmets,
old leather football helmets on.
It's stupid.
What's her name?
Sorry.
Cass is the character.
So that's how you'll find it.
K-E-S, Cass actress.
And then she was in something crazy.
She was like in a police standoff
where she was barricaded in her bedroom.
Jennifer Lean, is that her name?
Oh, my.
She's not being caught.
She is not dead.
She was not killed by police.
Oh, that's good.
Did she get in some trouble, though?
I remember seeing the video of her barricaded,
and I felt like they had to be unarmed.
Now you've got me scrolling down the Wikipedia,
personal life.
I watch a lot of police shootings.
All right, between 2015 and 18,
Lean was arrested and charged with a variety of offenses.
Oh, a variety.
A variety of offenses.
Well,
I like that she called it a correction.
Later dropped.
Voyager has Kate Mulgrew as the captain.
It's Lady Captain.
She's the lady from Orange is the New Black.
I guess the older Butch one.
I've never seen that show,
but I know she's there.
I've never seen that show either. I've only seen like three episodes and then my mom was like what are you watching you're watching a
lesbian show you're no longer allowed to watch that because i was watching it was 14.
tumblr was recommending it so i was like i'm gonna watch it i watched three episodes
that means you're gay because you're watching it. Her quote. Which show? She was right.
Orange and the New Black.
Orange and the New Black.
I saw that.
I guess I'm gay too.
What show was it for all you guys
that you weren't allowed to watch as a kid?
I guess, were there any other ones?
There were no...
I grew up in a sex-positive house.
I watched Blue Lagoon with my parents.
That's fucking weird. Oh oh weirder than you know
yeah
it's weirder than you could possibly
fathom
like South Park was the main
like South Park was the main one
for me in like
like early 2000s
I was like middle school age that was the last
big holdout of my parents
was like you cannot watch south park you cannot watch south park and then you know you slip past
that goalie pretty quick you know what's weird my my parents let my older brother older older than
me by five years they let him watch south park when he was 12 but then when i was 12 i was never allowed to watch south park at
all and i was never allowed to watch it when i was like 17 and they're like oh you're supposed
to get out get out of here and it's like but we're watching it with my brother that's weird
you're not allowed to watch it i'm like but you let him watch it when he was 12 what the fuck is
one of the biggest like i'm the oldest but one of the biggest benefits I always imagined of being the youngest
or younger was that you get away with
shit infinitely easier
oh no actually not for me
that ruins the rules your parents were stricter
on you than your older brother
it's also pretty typical to be strict on your
daughters right
I didn't think
about that in the context of like
TV shows though like South Park stuff.
I have an older sister.
She was able to do more than I was.
I think my parents were like, oh, we know where we messed up with our children.
Maybe if we if we yeah, if we maybe if we really heavily sheltered her, then she would turn out fine.
No, no. Maybe if we really heavily sheltered her, then she would turn out fine. No.
Look at me, Mom.
Top 5% on OnlyFans.
She would hate it.
She would hate that?
Does she not know about that?
She probably does.
I just haven't talked to her in five years.
It's been a long time.
It is a long while are you actively doing like the no contact thing with mom um i mean not actively she hasn't really
said anything to me but i okay there has been a couple of contacts where she would send an Instagram message to young Clippa saying like, you're keeping her hostage.
She wants to be with me, actually.
And she wants to do what I want to tell her to do, which is to do software engineering.
And I want to make sure I want to crush her dreams of becoming an artist ever actually
and she would send this big long message to him like this is deranged lady what are you doing
like i i've chosen a path you're going to respect that or not and she doesn't so i don't talk to her
she wants you to be a computer programmer yeah because my dad was a software engineer and so
i guess shown an interest in that no never i've never shown an interest i've only shown
interest in drawing playing minecraft and uh yeah drawing you know what you know they know
that it's a good stable career with advancement opportunities that they have a leg up in, right?
It's the same reason you did accounting, right?
I bet that's a similar situation, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Before, I was a software engineer.
But before that, I was an accountant.
And like Kyle said, my father was an accountant.
And there was a path that was already paved for me there.
Fast track, even.
I didn't want to walk it.
His father before him, right?
Didn't you once say your
grandpa was an accountant too he was a salesman and an abusive alcoholic but he kept good accounts
certainly not his wife
yeah i overestimated them look the thing, all of our grandpas were abusive alcoholics.
I think that says something about the quality of either the alcohol or the ladies in those days. It can't be a coincidence that all these men needed to get drunk and women were tougher.
They had jaws on them.
The greatest generation had its flaws.
It did.
Yeah, but they beat the Japs and the Nazis.
Not my grandparents.
Did your grandparents stick around, Kyle?
My mother's father fled to Dallas
and died of cancer in 1994,
we found out on the internet.
That's when we got the internet.
And then my dad's dad died of cirrhosis of the liver at 35.
So they didn't really hang around, no.
Oh, so I'm close here.
My father's father ran away when my father was 10.
And he did that thing that you can't do anymore,
where you completely run away and start a new life.
Dallas.
13 miles away.
Mine went 13 miles away.
It was like, I never saw it again.
Different grocery store.
One bus ticket.
And my mother's father, apparently he was a good guy,
but he died of colon cancer when she was a teenager or young.
Colon cancer.
It comes for us all.
I've already resigned to my fate.
I don't think...
You don't get your colonoscopies
weekly?
Weekly? Yeah, Woody set me up
with a guy.
It's a house call
guy.
I promise you.
You lay prone.
His methods are controversial,
but it's pretty cool.
Why do you have to test back and forth
so much?
He's very thorough.
If I wasn't on fentanyl,
I'd be mad at you.
Did you guys
have any parents
in the war?
I only say this because my dad was in Vietnam.
My birth dad was in Vietnam. My birth dad was in Vietnam.
He was an old geezer.
Damn.
I thought a different way.
Your birth dad was definitely
older then, right?
Yeah, he was born in 54.
That's like 10 years older than my dad.
My dad was not old enough to fight
in Vietnam.
My dad was. he lucked out and
didn't get his uh number drawn so he didn't have to go oh that's lucky and my grandparents
like got some exemption from world war ii or my great grandpa got an exemption from world war ii
one of them for flat feet which i guess they were like you can't go and the other one because he was a farmer
and i guess at the time they were like all right you're called up and they're like wait no you're
a farmer you're like growing it we need you to keep growing go grow that stuff yeah you you don't
participate you go back to your farm's gonna shut down without you you stay on the farm that makes
a lot of sense it was think the reality was tricky.
They're like, we don't want to lose our good citizens. This guy's a farmer. You keep doing
that. We need you to make food. I think
my father didn't go, at least partly because
he was in college. If you go to college,
we don't want to lose people
like you. We'll send these guys who are
worthless.
Married?
I don't know. I'm not positive about mary i'm
definitely positive about parents and uh only sons couldn't interesting i bet they changed that
later on i bet they had different policies as the war went on that's how you end up with stuff like
mcnamara's morons which should be a movie by the way it's it's that rolls right off the tongue mcnamara's morons coming this
fall mcnamara's morons was discovered uh army program to utilize those with iqs below 85 in the
in the military industrial complex the idea was come on you can find something for him to do right
and it turns out how to work no bad no because you can't teach them the basics. A lot of them couldn't read or write.
They cause more problems than they can even come close to.
They can't read road signs, so they can't drive trucks.
They can't even peel potatoes, it ends up.
We're going to hold your hand and get you to the place where you peel the potatoes
and then hold your hand every night back to your bunk and walk you through all the regiment.
Boot tramp camp is all sorts of fucking
polish your boots and tie your shoes shit.
They're not getting any of that, ever.
Jordan Peterson talks about this all the time.
He says it like it's amazing.
The Army doesn't want you if your IQ is below,
it might be 85, 73, I forget what the number is.
83, I think.
83, okay.
And he says it again and again,
like, you know, it's really important to have an IQ over 83.
And I'm like, this isn't groundbreaking or amazing to me.
This is quite obvious.
Yes.
It helps to have a higher IQ.
Yes.
100%.
I mean, again, if you can't read or write,
you're going to really struggle
because everything's going to be labeled.
Like, you can't be a clerk.
You can't do any of the behind-the-scenes clerical shit. Like, there's nothing for you. You'd be in the way. You'd be a clerk you can't do any of the behind the scenes clerical shit like there's nothing for you you'd be in the way you'd be i feel like
russia russia has these like wave attacks right yeah right they just they call them meat waves on
youtube anyway dude i probably are right now right like like i know that it made news for a while
when they would pardon a particularly nasty criminal for to go to ukraine they're like i think it was a cannibal that they freed you know it's like damn and like i wouldn't
be any more afraid to go to war against a cannibal than the than the rest of the russians shooting
ak's at me you know but but it's it speaks more to like wait they're just gonna let this guy go
and but then i was like he's not ever getting home he's not ever getting home he's gonna die
in ukraine oh yeah they kind of made sure of it they give those people the most deadly roles But then I was like, he's not ever getting home. He's not ever getting home. He's going to die in Ukraine.
Oh, yeah.
They kind of made sure of it.
They give those people the most deadly roles.
Yeah, upfront and personal.
Taylor, do you want to do the advertisement?
Yes, yes. Before we jump to the next thing,
we're going to hear from a couple of fantastic sponsors.
You don't have the rotating gif.
Oh, I do.
On my screen, I see it. Oh, don't interesting on the top right you don't see
it perhaps it's on zax which is all that would matter uh this episode of pka is brought to you
by pharaoh distro.com pka fans picture this you me and enough smoking accessories to make snoop
dogs collection look like a kid's toy aisle pharaoh distro.com's got everything for the
thc enthusiasts out there.
Bud lovers, dabbers, edible connoisseurs,
and even those who would want to discreetly puff away with disposable goodies.
It's like a THC performance, and your place is the green room.
Indulge in the festivities with their latest offering,
the Pharaoh Exotics THCA Buds,
an outstanding choice for those looking for top-shelf quality flour.
These buds are so top-shelf, they've got their own VIP section, dispensary grade,
indoor grown and crafted for the everyday flour enjoyer.
For the dab enthusiasts, get ready to savor the richness of our THCA diamond sauce
because who needs diamonds when you have something even more precious to enjoy?
And let's not forget our delectable assortment of high quality, high milligram edibles,
perfect for sharing and adding an extra layer of joy to your celebrations. If your new year's
resolution includes a step towards more holistic wellness, explore pharaohdistro.com's range of
CBD products and therapeutic mushrooms. And like Keef on your bowl, sprinkle code PKA30
on top for 30% off your whole order. Visit pharaohdistro.com linked below to discover quality products that cater
to your THC preference.
Elevate your 2024 experience with Pharaoh distros,
premium offerings,
and make this year one to remember kinda.
So pharaohdistro.com PKA 30,
30% off,
whether you're getting the edibles,
whether you're getting the THCA diamond sauce for your dab rig,
whether you're just looking for the most powerful flower you can get,
which is the THCA buds,
highly recommend that.
Or if you're getting the dab X go the best,
best dab rig I've ever used.
Very high quality.
The charge lasts forever.
Hits very,
very hard.
It's got that,
that little Kyle and I've mentioned it a thousand times,
that little silicone cup under where you put the wax and everything.
Something so simple, so revolutionary, though.
There's not even one iota of waste going on there.
So PKA 30 for 30% off.
Get yourself a DabX Go.
Get yourself THCA Diamond Sauce.
Get yourself a bunch of edibles.
And when you get the edibles, we say it every time time don't be a retard and take 100 milligrams if
you've been taking 100 milligrams of gas station shit start lower than whatever you're used to
because more likely than not you think you've been taking a higher dose than you actually have
and you don't want to get too high so pharaohdistro.com pk 30 30 off that's a hell of a deal
they get you high they'll get you fucked up.
This episode is also brought to you by Merrick Health.
New sponsor.
Brand new sponsor.
Very high quality.
Kyle, that is the same lab you used, isn't it?
Yeah, that's Derek's place.
I can't speak highly enough of the, of the experience that I had there. I think it's like 750 bucks to get going like total with all of your, uh, it's, it's all of your testing.
It's all of your lab work.
Um, and, uh, it's, it's some of the meds and it's a few other things.
Uh, they start off with, like I said, getting your lab work done to find out what they need
to do.
And, uh, then you have a consultation with
a doctor, and you go over that lab work, and then they prescribe you whatever you need. And man,
it's so fast from so my issue is always like sticking to something and getting the ball
rolling with it. But it's almost impossible not to like, just get it done if you take that first
step. Because from the time that I signed up or like applied or whatever to the
time I actually had my medicine was, I don't know, like two weeks tops. I think it was actually like
eight or nine days or something. And, um, it's, uh, if you think that you need some testosterone,
if you think that if you've got low sex drive or just low energy, if're you know early mid late 30s or old or something like that um
it it's like secret sauce it's magic it's it's like something it's the secret serum from a movie
it's what all of those bullshit products at gnc want to be like like all of those things with some
swole motherfucker on the cover flexing if you want to know what he's really taking you can get it in maric
like that guy could eat anything he wanted as long as he kept taking his medicine
and uh and and uh i can't speak highly enough of uh the whole situation i like being able to
always have you know a doctor it's it's telemedicine. So everything really goes quickly.
Um, and then just getting my blood work done and having them look at it.
Cause I don't know about my family doctor, if he even knows what's, what his specialty
even is, but they were like, Oh, we've got some things to fix.
I think, I know my cholesterol was bad, but I think I had a thyroid issue that we fixed
with, uh, like supplementation and diet too
um i i love the the whole thing i still obviously you know take my merrick meds
yeah so get your head right through chemistry start feeling good about being good
100 use code pka get a 10 discount on the complete package or other diagnostic testing
that's code pKA 10% off.
And I don't think you can put it better than Kyle.
Like go look at those pictures of Kyle when he was getting jacked up,
when he was getting huge.
You want to know what like Chris Hemsworth is doing.
It's not broccoli and chicken.
It's stuff like this.
And it's going to get you jacked.
It's going to get you yoked.
Or if you're just looking to try and correct some issue you're having,
they can tell you, Hey, you're low on this. You're high on this. They'll get you jacked. It's going to get you yoked. Or if you're just looking to try and correct some issue you're having, they can tell you, hey,
you're low on this, you're high on this.
They'll help you get there.
In five months,
when I started taking it
and eating a ton
and working out a ton, in five months
I had mutated into
an enormous thing.
A better man.
The five monthmonth period,
I didn't have a neck.
It's really effective.
Very effective. Code PKA.
Get 10% off. That is linked below at MerrickHealth.com
slash PKA.
MerrickHealth.com slash PKA.
Get that 10% discount.
You can look like Kyle.
You can look like Kyle from...
Juiced up Kyle from a couple...
Well...
You're not...
All right.
All right.
They're doctors, not magicians.
All right.
This isn't a monkey paw scenario here.
They're going to send you some vials and syringes.
If you're looking for your monkey's paw scenario,
go to merichealth.com.
Get 10% off.
Get yourself all tested up they can tell you
what needs fixing in order to achieve your goals in a way that is efficacious and scientific so
check them out come out and as always as always this episode is brought to you by lock and load
the premium premium ejaculation increasing supplement taking the world by storm are you
tired of coming and having it be a little,
just a little, just not enough? No, you want to come like a man. You want to come hard. You want your partner, female, male. We don't judge. You want them to be absolutely covered in jizz at the
end of it. And they're going to be sitting there going, my God, I did a great job. Look how much
I worked to get my partner off. And also your cum's going to be better. When's the best feeling
of the orgasm? When you're coming. More cum equals more good feeling. That's all the science I need, folks. But that's not all
the science Derek needed because this is efficaciously dosed with everything you need to
be absolutely creaming. So lock and load code PKA or code jizz 10% off. But it's not just jizz
supplements, folks. It's weight loss supplements. It's dream supplements. It's protein powders.
It's energy drinks. It's everything you can find
over at GorillaMind.com.
Efficaciously dosed to Derek's exacting
specifications. Check it out.
I need to get some of that for
young Clipper.
Could he be coming more?
Yeah. Get some cum shots in my face.
That's my favorite.
How about this?
We've got a lady with us
don't you do you feel more accomplished at the end if there's a huge amount of jizz you don't
want a little amount of jizz of course the more jizz the better i want my face covered in jizz
or else i don't feel like i've done enough. 100%. Please, we're going to need that for future ad reads.
We're going to need this as an endorsement.
So thank you, Mint.
It really does work.
We spent a lot of time and effort product testing in the lab.
Vigorous research.
In the bedroom.
Yep.
Yep.
A lot of calluses.
But we got to the bottom of how to make a man cum as much as humanly possible.
It really works.
I seem to be the only one who appreciates the pre-cum
as much as I do.
Oh, I'm leaking like a bad cat!
I'm talking livestock numbers here.
Well, that's the Pygeum.
Another thing that Kyle and I insisted had to be included
because it's...
You probably think we're memeing mint.
You have to take nine pills a day. It fucking ridiculous it's our suppositories we would not be can you
can you imagine if we're like just open your ass up nine times a day it's unbelievably efficacious
just stay hydrated when you're taking it because obviously your body needs water to create more cum
uh revolutionary technology check it out we need to get some
sent to young clippa so you can start enjoying it uh i was actually looking on the website
don't you need to take those pills with something fatty it does help to take it with something fatty
so take five in the morning with your nice healthy egg and whatever breakfast and then four at night
with and it's an excuse to have two fatty snacks. Like, there you go.
Very high quality stuff.
Start coming like a man.
That's it. Those are all the ads.
Check all those out linked below.
Taylor, do you know more about these Jew tunnels than I do?
Let me lay out what I know.
It turns out there was some kind of secret tunnels
that led from a synagogue,
that led from a synagogue to like a newsstand or something and that's at least that's their sort of a story
they're like oh don't worry about my secret underground tunnel that's just so i can pop
out for the paper and i don't think so yeah i don't know i saw a clip and it seemed like they
were trying to invade the tunnels and there were lots of men throwing chairs and stuff.
I am in the dark.
I don't know what to believe.
I don't know what's going on with the Jew tunnels, the underground Jews.
But I know that I just I was trying to track the underground Jew problem.
And it seems that initially someone was like, actually, they built that tunnel to go to church during covid and then
like immediately i saw like some twitter uh like fact check thing where it's like these tunnels
were not uh were in the process of being built five months ago well after covid and so it's like
i have no idea what the this is the ninja turtlesout. It took me a second, but that's the Ninja Turtles hangout.
It's the pizza that gives it away.
I have no idea what the Jews are doing underground, but I don't like it.
I don't like it one bit.
Did you see the mattress, that bloody mattress being carried out?
What's going on with that?
A bloody mattress and baby strollers is a scary combo.
It does lead to a synagogue.
I'm reading while you're talking about it.
I'm sorry.
And the articles I read, both of them said that the purpose isn't known yet.
What purpose?
I don't get it.
I just saw the pictures of the high chairs and the bloody mattresses and the tunnel entrance itself.
But I don't know what's going on.
But that's pretty...
From the outside looking in, it looks sinister.
I have a theory.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
The ooze from above ground goes into the underground.
And we're creating the ninja turtles.
We got ninja Jewish people. Ninja. ground and recruiting and like the ninja turtles we got uh ninja jewish people ninja and they're
they're here to fight crime and they're being trained by the ninja turtles yeah yeah and they're
being trained uh by uh master splinter who is uh who is a jewish rat and they're just doing kung
fu you think that's what's going to fight crime yeah that's what's happening down there okay if who is a Jewish rat. And they're just doing kung fu. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
And they're here to fight crime.
Yeah, that's what's happening down there.
Okay, if it turns out there's a gang of crime-fighting Jews,
then I'm in.
But I don't know what's going on down there.
Do you know about the mole people in New York?
No idea.
Apparently they've discovered what was going on with them.
Well, no.
There are actual mole people who are...
There are these subterranean
levels below in the tunnels and these people just live down there they're actual mole people they
pop out to get food i guess occasionally but chis sent me a link the other day on whatsapp and i
went down the rabbit hole because i thought it was a joke because there's also the silly conspiracy
theory about actual mole hybrid people who live underground or whatever this isn't that this is like crazy
homeless weird people who live deep down in the tunnels but then once you're down in the tunnel
there'll be like a a manhole cover that they'll move aside and go further down into this an area
like this and it's just they're in the darkness unless they bring their own light i don't know
what where this oh did you i saw was subterranean i was laughing at some of those oh god oh i don't like that kyle you said the
mold people weren't real that's this there's photographic evidence on my screen like yeah
you know proved wrong again i like how it's just some guy on the top left. He's a little moley, I guess. How did he get roped into this? He's behind it all.
He's the mastermind.
Did you guys see, there was like
a really viral
Twitter post from this guy
who was like, I told you!
I told you about the Jews
underground! And this guy had
like, from six months ago,
he was tweeting, he's like,
I'm tired of people saying i'm a liar
there are 100 jews under my apartment and i live on the ground floor and he was tweeting about it
over and over like i swear to god there's got to be dozens of people jumping around singing
every night under my apartment and no one will look into it And then like this happened and he's like, ah, there were Jews under my apartment.
Like I found,
I was,
I wasn't going crazy.
Can you imagine anywhere near the tunnel?
Yeah.
He was above the tunnel.
Was he above the real tunnel?
Yeah.
That's how he was here in the Jews dancing around or doing whatever they're
doing down there.
Uh,
I don't know.
It's praising the Lord.
Actress's blood.
No,
they're praising the Lord and looking out for us. Uh, uh, surface dwellers. You know, praising the Lord. Mattresses, blood. No, not that. They're praising the Lord and looking out for us surface dwellers.
You think they're praising?
I don't think they're praising the Lord.
I heard him saying, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
They don't like Jesus.
Yahweh.
Not Jesus.
I don't even know who that is.
They took care of him.
Does the Lord refer to just the Christian God?
No.
In my mind. I like to be referred to as the Lord refer to just the Christian God? No. In my mind.
I like to be referred to as the Lord.
In my mind, it's Jesus or nothing.
I hear it's somebody who owns land.
Oh, a Lord.
Look at that.
People's societies.
Yeah.
That's all I know a Lord is.
I'm not going to be hasty to judge these Jewish underground tunnel
networks full of bloody mattresses
and baby carriages because I
stand with Israel.
They were probably
down there taking collections up
and those were things to be sent
to the Israelis.
Like a charity
drive sort of thing.
Can you imagine like, I'm just putting myself in the, in like Harley's shoes, just like a,
just like a normal non-religious Jew who's like watching this unfold. And they're like, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no. Please tell me there aren't Jews in an underground tunnel of New York. That can't be, that can't. And then they're like, we found Jews underground in New York. Who knows? And he's just like,
fuck, fuck.
Do they know about the Canadian tunnels yet?
I gotta call some people.
That's Harley's response. He has to call in
some ideas.
Hey, we need to disguise that Quebec
tunnel entrance a little more thoroughly. They're on the
lookout for us now.
You know, this reminds me of the underground tunnels in Seattle.
You've heard about those?
I don't think so.
So Seattle burnt down in like the 18 whatever's.
And then an entirely new city was built on top of these uh this like burnt down city but you could still like access this
underground burnt down city through like a series of tunnels it's i've never seen it but i've only
heard of it but that's yeah in seattle this seems like too new of a city to have a bunch of
underground tunnels i always picture that like a new york or boston thing i'm probably wrong seattle established
in like the 1840s i think show the pictures of the seattle underground paris catacombs
people go down there and don't come out yeah do you remember the 4chan post from like 15 years
ago a guy stole a skull out of there and then was posting pictures of it he's like i'm gonna see if
i can get this through security and then everyone's like you're lying that's just a picture of a skull and he's
like i'm gonna post a picture with my dick in it and then he posted a picture with his dick in the
skull and people were like goddamn you really stole a skull from the paris catacombs just to
shit post on 4chan with your dick in it and he's like
the 2007 internet whatever it was
these photos yeah exactly
this is underneath Seattle there's an
entire town underneath Seattle
damn yeah
does anyone still live in there
the lights are still on
someone's doing something
it's been swept lately there's wait a minute
there's there's there's there's a rope there
for people to like take the tour.
Well, they allow you to go down some
areas. Well, fun.
I'm always fascinated when they flood a
lake and they flood a town.
I know Lake Hartwell is
particularly big lake. Obviously, nothing like
the greater lakes up
you know, but
there are towns and
graveyards and big buildings and structures under there
supposedly obviously i've never been down there but i know it's true i've never heard of these
before like heartwell's in northeast georgia um and south carolina it sort of spans the two
185 feet deep at the deepest part isn't that terrifying isn't that fucking terrifying
did you see the one
like clip
where all the Jews
have been like pushed out of the
they're like pulling them out of the tunnel
and there's the most stereotypical like
New York Italian cop
of all time and like the Jewish
guys are like complaining to him about it
and he's like
you got fucking tunnels down there
we don't know what you're fucking doing and they're like we want to get
our stuff out of the tunnels first and he's like
we don't do this here I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about we don't fucking dig tunnels
around in America
and then like no one to build
like this shit we don't do this here
and then he just kept telling them that
just this big, broad
WAP, and it's very funny.
That's the attitude you should have.
It's bizarre.
They don't melt into the rest of society
and become just like regular Americans.
They retain
their old heritage and culture.
Almost like Amish,
but Jews.
Are these Hasidic?
Hasidim Jews?
I don't know about these with the tunnels I just figured they were
run of the mill
I searched tunnel Jew on Twitter
and now I'm seeing some
I know the Hasidic Jews
the ones that have usually that curlicue shit
and the hats and the whole black get up
they seem to be
I've seen documentaries about and the whole black get up like they seem to be i've i've seen uh
documentaries about that about how that they like the whole neighborhood is them and you you're
almost really not welcome to go there if you're not like it's like a you know it's like a chinatown
like chinatown but not welcoming yeah like they they tend to stick to their own very
ethnocentric the hasidics has, Hasidim, Hasidic.
I don't know.
That's okay for some groups.
Yeah.
All right.
So it is Hasidic Jews.
I didn't make it up.
And like Kyle said, yeah, they kind of take over a town a little bit.
They become a voting force or at least an influential enough voting force that if they don't own the local government, the local government knows their voting population is significant enough to swing an election so they leave them the fuck alone
and before long like they have their own schools that are getting funded basically like private
schools that are funded by the public and i've read about that yeah yeah yeah i'm well versed
in this because i have family in new jersey who suffers from this. Like a city Jews dominating their town.
And they get like all their private schools
like tax funded.
Exactly. Because they're active voters and they
vote in a block. And if you don't give
them what they want, you'll lose your job.
If you don't give them what they want, they'll build a
labyrinth under New York.
Yeah. It's so weird
that they're doing that. It should be
so weird. Like I always want to
side on the
like let's wait and see what this is about
but like
there could be some perfectly reasonable
reason for them to have tunnels
from the new stand of the synagogue
could there be like what was telling me
about oh sure Elon Musk does it he's a
hero the Jews do it
Elon Musk doesn't even do it a hero. The Jews do it.
Elon Musk doesn't even do it.
He's not even digging tunnels.
He promises tunnels.
He talked about tunnels once.
Think of all the traffic they're preventing from the newsstand to the synagogue.
I bet he wants space tunnels.
Yeah, space tunnels that he'd like.
Are you big on Elon Musk?
Mint? The space race or whatever?
I'm excited
to see if he ever goes
to Mars within his lifetime.
That'd be cool to see.
I'm not really caught up on it.
100% Elon's going to Mars.
How old is he? He's like 50, 40.
Oh, is he?
I don't think he's personally going to go to Mars.
I think he'll send someone there.
He's 52. I was right.
Maybe his kid that
starts with a letter X and then it's
a bunch of numbers. Maybe that kid's going to go to Mars.
One of his kids with the
old English A.E.
I think he wants to send people to Mars.
He has so many luxuries here
as the richest human being in existence
that we know about anyway.
Why would he want to go somewhere
to live in a tin can and get irradiated?
Martian life is going to be a lot of tunnel digging.
Right?
Yes.
Maybe we take a problem
and we create a solution here.
Yeah.
Send the tunnelers to Mars they can tunnel to their hearts desire
did you see how many satellites he launched last year
he'll have people on Mars
by 2026
and by 2050 he'll have a million people on Mars
does that make
Elon Musk the biggest
fucking liar of our time
he's up for an answer.
You're judging him on things that haven't come to pass yet.
He's still got two years to put somebody there.
He's pushing the public can down the road.
He said we were ten years from Mars ten years ago.
Now he says we're ten years from Mars.
And simultaneously three.
The Mars thing is a pipe dream. It's never going to be nice
there. It's going to be crappy forever.
Yeah, but it's just about going.
That I agree with.
Yeah.
I think we should go, though.
Yeah, may as well.
Humanity will get there and back, I think.
I want to see it.
I don't count it as we've been to a planet until a person's there.
Like, drones are not going to, that doesn't count.
Yeah, we're on the same team there.
Well, we've had rovers and copters on Mars for years now.
Yeah, yeah.
But that's not the same.
That's what they want you to believe.
Musk launched so many satellites last year.
It was like, I think it was like 900 or something.
It was so many.
That's a lot.
I can't remember the name of his ISP.
Can you help me with it?
Oh, Starlink, right?
Starlink, yeah.
I want to see those satellites
because i heard he recently launched like a hundred or some some number that was way bigger
than i thought on one like he broke a new record for launches in a year it was this particular
rocket i thought had like a hundred satellites on it and i'm like what is this baseballs yeah
oh i don't know what their size is that that that's the sort of nitty-gritty
shit that i'd like to know because uh i saw i always wanted to get how big cloud was because
you have no way of telling how far away the fucking cloud is and then i read somewhere how
much a cloud weighs and it's some unfathomable like like amount of weight that just a cloud each
cloud weighs like an olympic pool worth of water like something like
something colossal like like crazy shit uh yeah atmosphere is heavier than people realize clouds
in the dust smell cool like that's like you know how you have like this like aroma memory type thing
what he's a rocket man i have smelled a lot of clouds and uh, I don't know. Whenever I'm in one, I'm like, yeah, this is cool.
And you're surprisingly blind.
You can't see your feet that well.
Yeah, Mint doesn't know.
The reason Woody can smell clouds is because he's soaring among them.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, he flies.
You ever see the movie The Rocketeer?
Yes.
I have not.
They're teasing you.
It's a good movie.
I imagine going to Mars
is like The Martian.
That's how I imagine
living on Mars would be like.
Martian was a great movie
and a good book. I liked it a lot.
I was based on a book? I didn't know that.
What do you like the book? It's by Andy Weir.
What do you like that book a lot?
Because they go really nitty gritty with the science.
Down to talking about the chemistry of splitting the fuel into water
and oxygen to to you know keep the plant life alive and everything i like that movie a lot i
like to matt damon was really good at carrying that yeah i was and i don't know it's the loneliness
zach can you show this picture to i mean take some a few
seconds but he'll show it this is a paramotor it's one of my hobbies and uh you can fly around
i've been oh i think the highest i've been is 12 000 feet oh wow that's uh scary yeah you know
i've seen youtube videos of people doing this. And they have GoPros.
They have GoPros on their head.
I'm like, oh, I feel like you're going to fall.
Please don't fall.
I'm watching.
I can't look away.
But I'm also scared for them.
How safe is it?
Comparable to a motorcycle.
I think the accident rates.
I have a friend.
He's the most popular YouTuber for paramotors.
And he never tethers his phone. I have a friend. He's the most popular YouTuber for paramotors.
And he never tethers his phone. He just holds it loose in his hand at like 4,000 feet. That's the one I always look at.
I'm like, dude, the wind's blowing at like 30, 50 miles an hour.
And he's holding his hand just like checking his altitude and speed and stuff
and puts it back in his pocket. You might also know paramotors from
the Palestinian
terror attacks.
Yeah.
They did it. They used them.
I always thought they'd be terrible weapons of war,
but I guess
if you don't see it coming,
then yeah.
You need some AA defense, I guess.
You need to know they're coming.
I don't think I saw that video.
Yeah, they paramotored in to Israel. Is it October 6th?
7th? 7th. I think 7th. I mixed up with January. Something like that. It's also
December 7th because that's Pearl Harbor Day, right?
I never forget. It's a big day for surprise attacks.
Oh, wow. January 6th, right on the cusp.
Have you seen that video? It's from. January 6th, right on the cusp. Have you seen that video? It's
from the January 6th. It's the one where the girl
gets shot, the woman gets shot.
There's a thing in media right now
where one side calls dead women
girls and the other calls them women.
I don't
want to act like I'm doing that.
It was a woman. It was a different
angle I'd never seen before.
She's crawling.
She's in the Capitol building.
And she's crawled up onto a desk.
And she's coming through some glass or netting that she's knocked out.
And they shoot her once in the face and drop her dead.
But as soon as she falls over dead, there's two SWAT-style officers.
I mean, two steps, three steps behind her.
Like helmets and black everything and like armed
and it was like man do we need to kill her right there if they were right there to like
we were just a moment away from pulling her back and you shot her in the face and like she was
definitely one of those maga people that you would find to be annoying if when you saw them rant on
social media i've seen her rants. She's yelling
about MAGA stuff.
But she's also a veteran.
She served in the military for some
odd years and it's like, man, I don't
think y'all need to shoot that lady in the face right there.
You know?
Yeah. I remember
she got a bunch of warnings and just
decided to try to take the Capitol floor
anyway.
Having said that, it seemed like Less than lethal would have been a nice option right there.
He had his Glock and that was it.
You see him.
He's like, don't you fuck.
As a suggestion, maybe less than lethal would have been a nice way to handle it.
What?
It just doesn't work.
It's just not effective.
Like a big can of bear mace was what
they needed to be fair like that would have probably done the trick if they could have
sent that big cloud of uh pepper spray at them dude pepper spray takes the fight out of people
oh yeah have you been pepper spray before yeah yeah you have i have yeah like twice a month
like like women these days don't know how to fuck with a cat.
Dude, I'm just leering.
I was doing more of the leering.
No, I mean, according to what Mintz said,
catcalling Kyle, I think you should really up it.
No, I... Flattering.
I do that thing where I just follow a woman
and as she quickens her pace, I quicken mine and match it
until we're both sprinting.
Let's bring Kat calling back.
It's not just for black guys anymore.
It's for all of us.
Get in here, White.
I sort of did that follow thing once
and I still think back to it.
I've told this story before, but here it is.
I'm going to school at night.
So it's like 10, 30, 11 p.m. at night.
And I'm in my car and I'm driving home.
And there's a girl walking on the sidewalk.
And she is beautiful, beautiful.
If you spend your time out and about amongst the population, you see a girl this stunning once every three months.
Like she's just that one.
And I'm looking at her in my car driving home exhausted from my sexy job as an accountant during the day and then school at night.
And I see her and just jaw dropping, like, what the fuck?
And just the way traffic was slow in the lights and stuff.
I kept, like, catching up to her and seeing her again.
And, like, I wasn't following her.
I was just going home.
But she must have thought I was.
And she quickened her pace, but so did traffic, right?
I'm just sort of like following her in my car in bumper to bumper traffic.
And she takes a look at me one last time and then starts running off.
Like she turns and just runs sideways.
And I'm like, she's definitely running.
So I get out of the car.
And she's quick and all, but I'm like she's definitely running so I get out of the car and she's quick and all but I'm in a Honda
it's clearly a runner but she's no match
so I barrel her down
there in a Wendy's parking lot
and when she comes to we're in the ICU
and I'm her husband
because
you do OnlyFans I'm curious
have you ever had any
like disturbing run-ins or shit like that with a creepy fan no i haven't no uh all the people
that i talk to are pretty um very nice very polite most amount that one that one gentleman
has sent your way like like who's your biggest donator not who your way? Who's your biggest donator? Not who, but
what's your biggest donate?
There's
a guy
who's really into
giantess stuff.
Shit.
Like camera angles
looking up at you and you're going to stop him?
This person would want
me to be five oh fuck this person i am going to make you come i like it this person would want
me to take like angles like photos of me like about like holding some just like just like this
right and like take me photos of like me about to put it in
my mouth but then i'm yeah vor and also giantess too they like vor and giantess yeah they would
want me to like draw a cartoon character they would want me to draw the like the step of picking
them up or like a video of me like uh picking, like the camera, and then putting the camera up to my mouth
like I'm eating them.
That's the strangest one that I've had,
but it's not hurting anything.
Let me give you a recommendation.
Here's an interesting camera angle.
It just came to me.
Could you take a hot dog bun
and sort of wrap it around,
like have the camera lens look through the hot dog bun so that
when you bite it like it looks like you're seeing part of you being taken off oh i have hot dog
buns that's a good idea yeah i want that camera angle yeah oh that's really dark shit how much
is that uh for custom content is that how that works what does it cost um it's like ten dollars a minute um for stuff he he over
he like tips me a lot just to do it and he's like oh my goodness thank you so much thank you so much
and he like tips me heavy i'm like oh thank you he's like every every message that he sends he
tips me a lot i'm like wow thank you and he's like i have this i have this other idea i'd like you to
do um here here's an idea then i do the idea and then he tips me a lot like oh my goodness this is
so hot thank you like dude taylor imagine if we had titties like you know because i'm thinking
right now how i would take i'd be like mama's hungry like i guarantee if you send him that message right now you can make a hundred
dollars before we can get off this call oh easily like is so how is the way it works that this guy
paid you and then for like two months he's like boom i got my video of her pretending to eat me
i'm solid or is it like every week he's got to go back to the well
because he can't pretend to be eaten the same way over and over uh he would he uh he would ask for a
custom i do the custom then he like send um like a lot of money with like this message like oh my
goodness this is so hot thank you and then he would send me like a week later, this like long message of his fantasy,
but he also sent a lot of money to that.
It's like,
Oh,
I have this big fantasy.
50 bucks.
Like 50 bucks.
Yeah.
50 bucks per message.
It's a lot.
It's a lot to message.
Yeah.
And I'm like,
okay.
Like,
cool.
He's like,
Oh,
I'm,
I'm,
I'm getting so turned on describing this to you right now
like that's also his fetish i'm like okay cool it's like i have another custom idea and then
i do the custom it's like oh this is so fucking hot this is awesome and then you like just like
send me a bunch of messages like like oh this is amazing you did it so great. And also, I'm a weirdo degenerate myself,
so I totally get the audience.
I also do have Pissment Salad as well.
But there's also, what's interesting.
I didn't get that.
What is Pissment Salad?
It's just piss stuff.
It's piss stuff.
Oh, okay.
I'm sorry for the fact that I was
100% like like on board
with her with no lag you only had a tiny
bit of lag Taylor and Woody was like
wait what now
I couldn't get I didn't get
the piss mint were two different words
none of us should have
the fact that any of us that's
hilarious you're not i love your reaction it's just stuff there's like there's um there's also
a lot of different variation like there's a guy who wanted me to dress him dress up as a teacher
he gave me this really long script and he wanted me to scold him like oh you've been really naughty uh you've you've been
such a bad boy what are you doing here and he would want me to do that stuff uh there's also
a guy who wants me to put duct tape on my mouth and just like photos of duct tape on my mouth. I can relate.
Pissing and cosplay literally pays our rent.
It's fun.
Business is booming.
Have you put the duct tape on your mouth before?
Have you done that?
I've done a few photos, a few videos.
There's this
one particular time where he asked me to put duct tape around
myself and also duct tape on my mouth and just like a minute just be looking kind of bored like
he doesn't want you to look afraid yeah i mean it's against uh fansly tos for you to look afraid. Yeah. I mean, it's against Fansly TOS for me to look afraid.
So I support.
Interesting.
So I'm so fascinated by someone sending you an entire script.
So when they send you the whole script,
are you firing out the video like, here's the script, read it and do it and send the video back?
Or are you like taking different takes
where you say it and you're like,
oh, that wasn't convincing, that sucked.
And then you try it again?
I've done, like whenever I do these scripts,
I do like a couple of takes.
Like maybe if I mess up saying a word on the first time,
then I'm like, oh, damn it, I got to do it again.
This guy specifically
wanted me to write down his script
and what was funny about the script
is it had no
punctuation whatsoever.
It was just one long
ramble. What an idiot.
Equivalent of a five
paragraph essay, but
no, no punctuation
at all. You know it wasn't Taylorlor so i had to so i had to do the
punctuation i'll write down it with like punctuation and then i would act it out because
this guy gave me no direction whatsoever and he's like oh my goodness this is so great
and then like to tip me more i'm like okay this is fun was this a was the script a giant one or a
p1 i don't recall uh it was different it was it was uh this script one specifically teacher one
right it was i want a giant p1 where like i'm a claymation figure and the p is slowly like
like climbing higher and higher on the thing i'm trapped in and it's going to drown me. That's a good idea. I gotta do that.
I like claymation.
Claymation's cool.
Are you being peed on?
Or are you peeing on things?
Or is it just all pee?
All things piss.
I get pissed on some videos.
I piss outside for some of the videos.
Does your boyfriend help you with that?
Yeah, he pisses on me sometimes. it's fun do you have to like i imagine you have to prep like
a video worthy pee and so probably like you have to pee for a solid hour before you're like all
right fire it up yeah we gotta make this count i got one big piss in me the hardest part is like
when i really have to piss and it's okay, I have to set up the camera,
and I got to make sure I don't piss all over while I'm setting up the camera.
So that's the hardest part.
So you're waiting to the point that you're about to pee all over yourself
before you set the camera up.
Yeah, that's what makes the best videos.
Yeah, that's what we want.
Yeah, that's what everyone wants.
You want to be in jeans, holding their crotch,
doing that little dancey thing.
Like, oh, no, whatever am I going to...
Oh, shame!
And you make that Japanese face.
When you're not outside, do you pee?
Mostly, I would imagine, shower, right?
Like where there's a nice drain?
Or are you throwing a tarp down?
How do you keep them clean?
There's shower, toilets uh just outside um if i get pissed on then i shower afterward
um that's fair i do have uh plans though to do yira piss porn uh and also getting pissed on specifically uh yaira is a character from the ripaverse uh it's uh eric july's comic book
company her name is yaira i'm dressed as her right now actually and um we're gonna be releasing some
uh yaira porn by the time this comes out i'll definitely have at least one set out on the only fans and fansly
and i just it's and also just like just a plan to do some yara piss porn yara is the character's
name okay that's and the rip verse for those who don't remember is the comic book universe of eric
july who dick masterson has been in a feud with
for a good long while now.
In essence, you're
having the character of
Dick's enemy be pissed on?
Pissed on,
pissing outside.
He loves that.
Have you seen these photos?
Does he know this writer?
Does he know his character is the subject of fistplay
i don't know but i'm sure people will tell him they will after you said that on this show he
will find out yeah um well i personally like to do like stuff outside like in the woods just
because like toilets are dirty and gross and i'm not a big fan of toilet piss porn i like more like
outside stuff so that's like the that's the goal i'm gonna just do it in this without without the
veto hat by the way i should clarify without the veto hat um so actually specifically uh when the
yara campaign launches that's when i'm going to be doing uh yara piss porn mint salad her link is below with all the piss porn like is well i have to imagine that i don't
just do piss porn but that's yeah you do the the other stuff as well like i'm i'm putting she has
a giantess she's a teacher she's she wears a lot of hats i'm picturing myself like doing what you do and like the i
having to act as a teacher and like read a script and reformat it and like add semicolons and shit
like after doing all of that it must be kind of like a easy day at work when it's like what am
i doing i'm pissing in the toilet and then i'm pissing on a bunch of acorns under a fucking oak tree and then i'm pissing uh you know near a football stadium
like is the piss stuff the easiest shit to do like you're just peeing right um i would say it
is pretty i'd say it's the hardest part of pissing uh piss porn is holding it as it's like uh you have the urge to piss whenever you need the piss
but when you need to when you record piss porn you got to hold it and it's like oh shit i hope
i don't piss myself so that's the idea there but also for anyone who's not into piss porn i made
sure to make like separate accounts very separate so you have to be looking for this account
specifically if you're interested in this uh pissman salad is the piss porn account but my
main account is titsman salad um just for the rest of it for the normal guys yeah
just like the tits well for the normal well don't argue with me that being into tits is equal
normal to being into p i mean i don't judge you know like like like look at the popularity numbers
i'm just alt normal yeah i don't you know just because more people like something doesn't mean
it's better oh no i'm saying more popular yeah i'm curious same thing am i the first piss porn person on
the show no you're like fifth sixth the fifth or sixth no of course you're the only of course
every night well that's fun i think you guys had aria on when i wasn't here or something i don't
know if i was locked up i don't think she was a p porn person and that was like nine years ago
it was nine years ago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
May have been 10 years ago.
Like genuinely hilarious.
We've looked pretty deeply into Vore before.
Yeah.
The idea of being consumed usually by a sexy large woman.
And the animation is just upsetting.
Although it's clear that Attack on Titan,
whoever come up with that whole idea has a vor
fetish there's no way like you've never seen attack on titan taylor no i know it's an anime
i know it's an anime the whole it's an anime about defending the last city against gigantic
like human looking monsters i mean gigantic like skyscraper size sometimes who just eat you
and they've got these like dead looks and these big chompers
and they're just... It's Vore.
Vore is very odd to me.
I don't understand how you get
there.
There's baby steps to everything.
Spanking could start as some light
tap and then it could end up being
like canes and whips and
such. I get the progression. There's a clear
path. What's
if Vore is step five?
What was step four, three, two, and one?
Yeah, like how do you
I see what you mean. Like what's the initial
like, ooh, I like this
about being eaten.
Because being eaten...
He says feeders and stuffers are
in a similar like
cast and crew.
Maybe just eating things and food what is this in general is that i don't know what is that just the person being fed
or may or the the stuffer is the person feeding right now well then who's the feeder oh the
stuffer i guess is the receptive the feeder is the stuffer okay that one's weird to me i've i've seen those uh
reddit posts where people will be like i just realized that my fiance is a feeder and he's
been fattening me up for the and i don't know what to do and like it's like i'm glad my life's
simpler than that that's fucking yeah i am not that I don't want to be fat
when you're no one wants to be fat
bad for business when no one does when you're
when you're felt like you're very into art
and all of that and so
how many
takes does it take you
when you're pretending to be a big giant
cannibal
to get one that you're like
fucking nailed it it takes a couple of it takes a few
photos like if i i'll be like okay this angle isn't necessarily right uh maybe this angle maybe
maybe i do something more dramatic like i'm looming over the camera so i like giant and then i'll be okay this is a nice camera photo i also make sure to do plenty of
lots of lights i'm a really big fan of lighting in uh not just the vor stuff but just just in
all the porn that i make is heavy emphasis on lighting because i'm an artist and just love the colors and colors are
so important um so like the vor stuff has great lighting like i make sure to emphasis the lighting
like maybe if uh there's like a lot of uh behind me lighting or maybe there's a lot of lighting
surrounding me but like there's heavy shadow on my face and And so I look more looming and more intimidating.
And then it's like,
okay,
the here,
here's a good artistic shot.
And then like the next shot,
I'm going to get fun picking up the camera and I'm like,
okay,
I got to make sure there's a lot of good light on my face.
Like none of the light is being obstructed by my phone.
I just pick it up and then like,, just, like, make sure there's no
shadows on my face, no harsh shadows, and I feel, uh, a good lighting also establishes, like, the mood,
too, of the scene. If I'm doing something blue, it's, like, maybe it's colder environments or
something warm, it's, like, it's a nice warm or something warm it's like it's a nice warm
environment but there's also if if i do some red lighting it's like oh this person's in danger
this person is a heavy danger and if this person specifically wants me to signify that they're in
danger then i'll use some red lighting i hope your fans appreciate this i wonder if it's lost on them
i don't know.
A lot of people really like the colors.
What did you say, Taylor?
I said their fans are jacking off to it.
And so they probably appreciate it without internalizing the level of care.
Yeah, right? They know it's good.
They just don't know why.
I mean, that's some Scorsese stuff.
All jokes aside, right?
When they're burying the body after they
beat the guy to death, the maid guy,
and they're disposing of the body, everything's
cast in that red light, letting you know,
this is it. They are in danger.
Who made Tenet?
They made the mistake. That's it. They're done.
Who made Tenet?
Christopher Nolan. He did
colors too.
I might be mixing this up, but all the forward and time scenes are blue and all the reverse
time scenes are red.
Or I have that backwards.
They use all sorts of
red and blue
little hints here and there.
Like the carabiner on the jacket
or his backpack or his keychain or something.
There's little hints as you're going through of that.
Tenet is needlessly complex.
And I saw it the one time I was,
I was very impressed.
It was cool.
It's fine.
I'm never going to watch that again.
It was fine.
Yeah.
What is the,
what's the strangest thing you've ever asked to be,
you've ever been asked to pee on?
Um,
probably just uh i haven't done any piss customs
but um i think the strangest thing i've pissed on has to be like a log probably yeah oh just
i mean i've done a log yeah i think we've all pissed on logs. I made no money from it.
I mean, I definitely need to.
I definitely got to meet the other pissers.
There isn't a good piss porn community gathering anywhere that I know of.
Are there any real ghouls who are like,
I want to see the video of you wolfing asparagus and coffee down anywhere that i know of so are there any like real ghouls who are like i want you to i want
to see the video of you wolfing asparagus and coffee down before ap me i'll probably get those
sometime uh i think probably the most weird piss request was somebody wanted me to piss in some
blue jeans.
It was like a desperation thing.
Hey, that's not weird at all.
That's super common. That's like the main one.
Yeah. So they just wanted you to sit down and be like, oh no.
Lots of cool people are into that.
In public too. They wanted me
to do that in public with people around.
Yeah, absolutely.
Would you do that? Can we access
that somewhere? Public pee? Yeah. Would you do that? Can we access that somewhere?
Public P, are you too shy for that?
You got to go.
You got to go.
No.
Do you want to pool our funds here?
I think it would take $5 each
from what I've gathered.
That's what I'm looking at here.
You guys can just link me.
I'll steal the content.
No, we wouldn't do that. Never.
My favorite type is
a long car drive
that I'm on the side of the road.
It's like, ooh,
someone could see me.
Ooh. And it's right next
to my car or something.
There's people passing by
while I take
a leak on the side of the road and then
people are like really into that like oh my goodness
this is so hot
holy shit
and when you do that you can't
post it like it has to be
you don't share customs right you make it for
one guy and no one else gets it yeah
yeah I don't share customs I don't
even take customs just how busy
that I am but um i do
request i do take requests and then i will do them eventually but i don't take customs right now
so busy you get way more customs on the normal page with giants and teachers and the piss one
is more of like uh more of a specialist more of a connoisseur yeah
but i'm always yeah always down for uh requests because people come to me like oh here here's an
idea can you do this i'm like oh i would never have thought of this actually this is a really
good idea i'll definitely do this oh i believe your audience has many ideas you've never even
thought of. Yeah.
And I'm like, okay, that's cool.
Yeah, sure.
I'll do this just for you.
Does your boyfriend get jealous of you making content?
No.
Does he get jealous at all?
No.
Okay.
He doesn't.
No.
He's like.
Well, he probably has to participate in it for like, you know, sex stuff.
Right?
Yeah.
I do like blowjob videos with him,
which is why I want the lock and load
so I can get more bigger facials.
We're in the wheelhouse.
We've done a couple
of sex tapes. The only reason why
we haven't been making more is
because I got to get my IED replaced. I'm just waiting
on that. But once I get my IED replaced,
a lot more sex tapes coming.
And also, he's
fat, too, so he wants to get fit
for the sex tape. Really?
You gotta get him linked up with marriage.
We got the hookup for you guys.
Every sponsor here can help out.
You guys can be stoned.
He can be fit.
We can get him nice and jacked.
Yeah. We can get him jacked and come in like a horse.
How fat is he?
Like an easy to fix level of fat?
Yeah.
Easy to fix level of fat.
Okay.
He's not morbidly obese.
He's not like spilling everywhere.
Right.
He just needs to get chiseled up.
Yeah. Chiseling. He needs to get chiseled up. Yeah, chiseling.
He needs to get in the weight room, start lifting.
Yeah, it's that level.
Yeah, he's got to be doing that. If you guys are
in this endeavor together,
that's a professional dedication
thing. He is a product. He needs to be
buffed and shined, ready for the shelf.
100%. Yeah.
And I'm trying to get more um buff and lean myself
because it's it's a product i view myself it's like i'm my body's the product so i gotta
be looking snazzy yeah for sure lean pristine for the for the peoples out there. Make high quality stuff. I've actually...
The thing that I'm doing right now
cosplay masturbations.
That's fun. Super fun.
So you're like masturbating dressed as Snow White
or something? Actually, yeah.
I do have one of those.
Most recent...
Supergirl.
Oh.
Rogue from X-Men
Velma
Scarlet Witch
I have so many
cosplays that I gotta do masturbation tapes in
yeah Velma
Velma is a hit
yeah that one's a hit
that one's a hit
Velma and Rogue
are both hits oh I have a Scooby-Doo one too, I have a Scooby-Doo one too.
You could pull off that.
Is it Gwen, the female Spider-Man
in the new Spider-Man universe?
Yeah, Gwen Stacy.
Yeah, you could be her.
Yeah, I mean, I was
looking at all the cosplays of
Spider-Gwen and
they're not sexy ever.
They're not sexy at all it's like how the fuck
would i do this i mean i have a gwen mask i could probably do it in but like nothing nothing like
the bodysuit i'm still looking for cosplays that i can do uh like sexy masturbations in because
it's just they're so hard to find they're always just like
one piece body suits to take it off keep it on take it off all right well there's no part of me
that looks like gwen now if i take off the one piece right well you probably use a lot of wigs
and stuff right yeah i use i need someone who has a lot of accessories like fucking Jesse from Toy Story.
Yeah.
That's a really good idea.
There's a snake in my coot.
It's a really fun idea.
It's pretty funny. You gotta use that line.
There's a snake in my coot. Yeah.
That would work out.
Jesse from Toy Story,
you start doing, you're just one of
the penguins from Halfie Feet.
There's probably a market out there.
There's tons of accessories. When you take your clothes off,
you still have the holster and a hat.
No, you want to do a whole Frozen thing because you
kind of look like her, but you want to
fuck the snowman. I want to get that
carrot. Oh oh you know
what i've seen porn of that yeah i've seen i've seen a porn of a chick fucking a snowman and that
has to be one of my favorite porns ever i want to like cut to the snowman and he's got like a just
a smug look on his face you grab the nose and she bangs herself with it and when she sticks it back he's real happy uh uh do you guys have ice of ice porn ideas
ice porn like yeah like ice cubes or i want to do ice cubes but those are a little bit too obvious
no you need to get one of those so they make these things for cocktails where you can make these big
ice spheres oh you want to you want to insert those spheres into your vagina and then put your
clothes on and go out.
And it's going to continuously melt and leak.
And so the longer you're out there melting, the wetter your pants are getting.
So you're going to need a cooler to keep this in the car because you're going to want to pop it in and then head into the store.
Oh, that's cool.
You think she needs like a whiskey ice cube tray?
Exactly that.
Yes.
Then it's round and smooth.
You don't want to use those like half moons.
You don't need that. you got a big handful of that like stuff from zaxby's that the crush yeah
yeah get some ideas really took a turn in the third hour, didn't it?
It did.
Right into the piss play.
We're learning about piss play.
We're learning about cosplay.
We're learning about all the plays.
I didn't know anything about the cosplay community,
but I guess the biggest ones are Velma
and what was the other one you said?
Scooby-Doo, Rogue.
Oh, you're the dog?
Yeah.
Okay, so there's this
dress from Spirit Halloween.
There's this
dress from Spirit Halloween. There's a
Scooby-Doo dress that I did a
masturbation tape in.
It was also a hit, too.
People liked that one all right dog girls are
pretty fun is there anything that would be too like where you'd feel too silly masturbating in
that outfit like a request you've gotten where you're like well no that's absurd i'm not gonna
dress up as winston churchill i have not gotten a request i have not gotten requests like that
where i'm like no i don't want to do that that's too weird i have not gotten a request. I have not gotten requests like that where I'm like,
no, I don't want to do that.
That's too weird.
I have not really gotten anything like that.
I'm pretty open-minded.
The cosplays have to fit in with the movie reviews that I'm doing.
That's like the only barrier that I have.
So any cosplays from a movie,
then I'll definitely do a masturbation.
Did you do the new Star Wars movies yet?
We talked about Star Wars earlier. Did you see
the latest three?
Yeah, I saw the latest three.
Actually, you know what? I'm glad you went
back on this topic because the
first time I saw
Star Wars was when I was
15, right before The Force Awakens was about to come out.
And so I was like, I've never seen Star Wars.
New Star Wars are coming out.
Okay, I got to type in Star Wars watch order.
The Star Wars watch order I was given was 4, 5, 2, 3, 6.
And so I watched it in that order.
And then eventually watched one later because this uh watch list order was like oh
fuck number one you don't need to watch it but i did watch it anyway um and then after seeing
all of star wars with just being 15 and then i watched the force awakens like three times because
when it first came out all of my my teachers were freaking the fuck out.
They're like, oh my goodness, it's Star Wars
again. We gotta watch Star Wars. It's time
to watch The Force Awakens in class.
So I had three different teachers
show me The Force Awakens in class.
What sort of nonsense school
is this? You've watched Star Wars
three times.
A long movie. Her classmates write two-page things with no punctuation they
have nothing to do that way it was really close to uh winter break and so i had finished i think
we finished all of our work for like before going to winter break so this guy was like oh well we're
just gonna watch star wars it's cool i'm such a big fan of
this star wars i'm like i get it okay there is a soccer ball man soccer ball droid over here
cool bb8 cool guy i haven't seen any of the star wars thing because ray would work she has that
like flowy toga thing going on you and the stick like you can show off the goods and still
be in character yeah you weren't here before but a lot of bodysuit cosplay ideas where
once the going gets good you're not even that person anymore because you take the bodysuit
off and it's gone yeah it's fair yeah uh ray's got accessories i have a leia i have a Leia. I have a Leia dress from the first movie that I have not done a masturbation in,
but yet, as of this recording,
I'm likely to do these within the next few weeks.
But I have done a piss video as Leia,
which is fun.
What did you pee on as Leia?
I just...
It was just outside.
I bet you get Boogie to dress up his job at the hut and piss on him.
Oh my goodness, that's funny.
You probably go, Mika, piss on me.
Oh, you know what?
Follow me like pussy.
That's the collab we all need to see.
I really want to get a slave Leia.
A lot of people have requested me to be slave Leia.
Yeah.
That seems like a layup,
right?
You know what?
I thought of that and I was like,
I'm not going to be such a fucking casual.
I won't even say,
I won't even bring it up.
I don't want to embarrass myself.
I wanted to think of some sort of mood brain cosplay fan.
All right.
Well,
Lord of the,
if you watch Lord of the Rings,
it's not going to help you.
There's like one,
there's two female characters.
Yeah, they don't talk much.
And they don't talk much, and neither of them are hot.
I don't think any Lord of the Rings fans are.
Well, one wears the helmet.
You could still be dressed while naked.
I think Liv Tyler's pretty hot.
No.
She's got her dad's mouth, and it's all weird.
Some people super dig her. i didn't like her i remember
watching lord of the rings as like a 10 year old in 2001 when the first one came out around there
and being like what the hell is aragorn into this elf bitch like there's gotta be like aragorn you're
king of the castle here you're a dunedain you'reedain you're a big deal and you're gonna be with this
with Stephen
it's like when you see a black
guy with a really ugly white chick
he's got an elf
he's got an elf
what does that mean
well he's a human but he's gotten himself an elf
oh yeah fair
yeah so a bottom shelf elf
is still an elf
you might be right yeah she's
like immortal yeah magical power she pulled a spell halfway through the movie and made a river
wash away demons yeah but that wasn't even uh that wasn't even her that did that in the books bro
it was glorfindel who did that i i don't know anything about Glorfindel. Who is Glorfindel?
He wasn't in the movies.
He was the actual character in the books
who grabbed Frodo and got him to Rivendell.
They used Arwen instead in the movies
because introducing a new elven warrior
named Glorfindel would have been too much,
I think.
You can tell Tolkien was just,
when he got to naming the elves, I think you've said this
before, but he just rhymes all the goddamn
names. He's like Pinky and Winky and Dinky
and Slinky and Minky.
How can you tell the difference if they're
all rhyming?
You can't really.
It's the dwarves that he just got to rhyming.
That's what I mean, yeah.
Gimli and Gloin and Groin and Froin and Frayn
and Trayn and Thrayn. Those are all real.
Those are all real?
All of those except for one was real.
I don't know which.
It's all silly.
So yeah, watch the movies. Maybe they'll inspire you.
I think Liv Tyler's hot.
Like from Armageddon, Liv Tyler.
When they're going to blow up that...
God damn you.
God damn you.
Woody. Good damn you. Hang on.
Woody.
Good fucking movie.
I don't think I ever got your movie recommendation.
What movie would you recommend me to review?
Oh, shucks.
A movie for you to review?
Yeah.
Kyle wants to help me and I need help.
Shit.
What have I watched lately that's a good...
Tell her The Fifth Element because then she can wear that bandage thing lately that's a good tell her the fifth element because
then she can wear that bandage thing and she gets a good bruce willis movie holy just ask kyle twice
clearly this is the way to go all right kyle more movie recommendations the fifth element
the fifth element yeah yeah yeah that's a very good movie you got gary oldman is the bad guy
you got chris tucker is the comic relief you've got um our boy um bruce willis as the as the lead
you got mila jovovich as the sexiest fuck like secret weapon fifth element magical superior
being you get to go to this like crazy opera show performed by a blue bitch with like crazy hair
um it's a wild ride it's its own universe they made a whole universe it's like nothing you've
ever seen before exactly. It's futuristic.
It feels lived in.
There's a part where Bruce Willis smokes a cigarette,
but in the future, the cigarette's mostly
butt. It's like the reverse
of a regular cigarette, where it's a little butt and a lot
of tobacco, but in the future, it's a super healthy
bitch, so it's all filter and a little tobacco
on there. Good movie. Mila Jovovich,
though, wears this...
It's like bandages.
It's like horizontal bandages around her
body and with two
vertical strips
maybe, and that's it.
The whole movie.
I've got a thing. You could do Mean Girls
and the cosplay to act
like them is super easy. They wear just
schoolgirl clothes. I actually have
done Mean Girls, and I think I wore pink in that review because I reviewed it on a Wednesday. like them is super easy they were just schoolgirl clothes i actually have done mean girls and i
think i wore pink in that review because it makes sense i reviewed it on a wednesday
there's mean girls too though have you guys seen when girls too oh you could do barbie
and then you could do a whole vore thing where you've got kin you got the fucking
kin doll and you're like you're not cutting it kim this is barbie's world i'm a girl in a barbie
world and you bite its fucking head off damn i it, Kim. This is Barbie's world. I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world.
And you bite its fucking head off.
Damn, I should have done that for my Barbie video.
It's like magic.
You can always go back.
And then it's just a montage of you stomping on stuff.
Let's go, Barbie.
Let's go, Barbie.
But it's like looking up at you.
You just like stomp all over the camera.
Have you seen the Barbie movie, Kyle?
Or are you just remembering this from the commercials?
Okay.
None of the above.
Have you done Basic Instinct yet?
Mint? What'd you say? Have you done Basic Instinct yet? Mint?
have you done Basic Instinct?
I don't think I have
it's actually a good movie
that you would very much enjoy
and the fucking
porn
writes itself
that's the only scene of that movie I've seen
the porn scene?
yeah is her crossing her legs
and vagina she so the deal is she is a writer and she wrote a book about murdering a about a woman
who murders her lover while they're having sex and gets away with it and then she in real life
murders her lover during sex with an ice pick or did she that's the mystery and she's being interviewed
by this detective and she's smoking hot she's wearing this like sleeveless um white dress it's
very tight and she's cool calm and collected smoking a cigarette in the government building
they're like you can't smoke what are you gonna do arrest me she lights that bitch up and the fat
guy from seinfeld newman is the one interviewing, and he's sweating bullets because she's so fucking hot, I guess.
She uncrosses and then recrosses her legs and flashes her vagina.
Just her shaved vagina is in
shot for half a second,
and everybody in the room is like,
we just saw her vagina, and she
knows they just saw her vagina, and it's a very
power play.
It's a fun moment.
It's a good movie. She plays an over-the-top
super genius who's just always the smartest
person in every conversation.
And then there's Kurt Russell. Is that the other guy?
Uh-uh.
Douglas?
It's Michael Douglas.
Michael Douglas. Thank you.
And he's almost as smart as she is.
And he's trying to catch her.
It's really smart.
It is both written for the porn
scene and an actual
movie you'd enjoy she's so hot
that Michael Douglas is like 90%
sure that this bitch
likes to fuck and kill
people during sex like when she
while she comes she likes to kill a man
he's 90% sure
but she wants to fuck
him so he's fucking her in the bed and she's like trying to
tie him up and stuff and he's just like worth it going along with it like not knowing if she's
gonna kill him it's almost becomes a rush for him now because he realizes she might kill me but
it might be worth it it's just crazy i think you'll really like the movie and like I said,
you'll totally know how to run with it.
Have you seen the brown bunny
that has a real blowjob scene in it?
I've only seen that scene.
No, I haven't seen the brown bunny.
Okay, it's the only part that's worth the movie.
What's the actress's name?
It's a weird name.
Vincent Gallo?
That's the guy who wrote it. it no the girl who's sucking the dick
oh the i i heard her interviewed about it i'm sure zach's looking up her name um apparently the
male actor is her ex-boyfriend and she had this thought process where she's like
this doesn't even change my body count like i'll just suck his dick again. I've done it before.
Have you seen Nymphomaniac? It's got a ton of A-list actors and there's full
penetrative sex where they bring
in
porn stars and fake cocks
for that.
I'm pretty sure
Shia LaBeouf comes on camera, so there's no
faking it. Shia LaBeouf is a real actor.
Remember when he cut his... He like
scratched his face up and didn't take a shower for Fury?
He nutted in Nymphomaniac.
He didn't give a
fuck. I've only seen it once
and it's a little blurry, but I just remember being like,
Jesus, there's a lot of dicks in this.
Have you seen Nine Songs?
No, I haven't probably certain
parts of it dude nine songs is maybe the sexiest movie i've ever seen i don't know if there's full
penetrative sex but there's no getting around the fact that his tongue is in that cooter um
and like it it was on netflix for a while which like got a lot of attention like oh my god there's
fucking literal porn on Netflix.
There's a cooter on the Netflix, honey!
I couldn't tell you what that show was about,
but you don't need to know, because
from sex scene to sexy never takes more than
ten minutes or so.
That sounds sexy.
There's a subreddit for that. It's called
The Extra Mile, if anybody's curious.
It's nothing but clips from movies,
films, where people are having real
unsimulated sex huh i would think more movies would fake the sex scenes they're going most of
them do right an extra mile gets fooled sometimes like what looks like a real sex scene is a dildo
so the classic one is monster's ball i think halle Berry, and what's our boy's name?
Fucking Billy Bob Thornton.
We like them French fry potatoes.
Billy Bob Thornton.
I had to do that to get there.
Billy Bob Thornton is almost certainly fucking Halle Berry in that scene.
You see his balls smacking and sticking to her,
and it's just like, I think y'all are fucking.
Yeah, everyone thinks they had sex there.
Yeah.
And they're both like actors.
Good for Billy Bob.
Billy Bob was with the,
um,
what's her fucking name?
Angelina Jolie.
Angelina Jolie for years and years.
Like Billy Bob must have something going on.
Right.
Like,
like what,
what kind of charisma does Billy Bob?
She saw him in bad Santa and was like,
I need this guy.
He's so funny.
That was before that.
Oh,
like,
like, I don't know how the
best movies ever i love bad santa yeah if you watch the uh i don't know if it's the unrated
or extended cut it's much darker film it's less comedic and much sad much more sad i don't want
that i already get sad enough when you see that poor fat dejected, loner kid. Like, when Billy Bob doesn't fully embrace him at times
and is kind of like, get the hell out of here, you weirdo.
Want a sandwich?
I'm always like, oh, come on.
What is with you and making fucking sandwiches?
Be there for the little fat kid because he needs you.
You're his only friend, Billy Bob,
and you haven't realized you're his only friend yet.
I beat the shit out of some kids today. Made me feel good. Yeah. You're one only friend, Billy Bob, and you haven't realized you're his only friend yet. I beat the shit out of some kids today.
Made me feel good.
Yeah.
You're one fucked up individual.
It's like fucking great.
I love that movie.
It's dark as shit.
I like the black midget character.
He's good.
I love the black midget and his Korean wife.
She's sick, too.
She's going around all snooty, picking out the shit to steal.
That's a great film.
And John Ritter, rest his soul, amazing actor.
He was always good in everything he did.
He's like the manager that Bernie Mac's going to,
and he's telling them about the ass-fucking
and the big and tall section and everything.
It's just, oh.
Oh, wow.
Do you have any movie recommendations for us?
Any content recommendations that we could check out
oh boy uh i got let's see a few let me go through my list actually poultry guys
yeah i do not recommend poultry guys that's not a movie i recommend um
okay you know what's a really good movie i really liked what is it called uh it's like i'm really
getting to korean films so i really like oak jaw train of basan is also a really good movie
um oak jaw there's also bullet train very fun what is that is that like another korean horror uh that one is not a korean horror i think it's
um i don't know actually who is is but i do know that's it's it's it takes place on a train
and we got a bunch of assassins on on a train it's actually from the creator of nobody
snowpiercer and also better call small uh better call saul i liked better
call saul oh uh bob ogenkirk yeah um yeah uh bullet train is pretty fun and it's pretty epic
uh is that one it's a very fun movie very fast-paced and it's very i would say i don't know if and like very anime and also comic book
based on the title cards that show up every time uh there's like a character introduction like it
will show their name and it's like stylized it's pretty cool and each character is like really cool
i have my number here's my number one recommendation for you
you've gone on and on about uh art and color man yeah man mandy mandy has these mandy it has these
color scapes every time we shift to a new color new stuff is going on and the basic plot of mandy
is nicholas cage is on a drug-fueled revenge uh fest against evil and and along the way he's
abusing cocaine and like some sort of experimental lsd so his perceptions are altered and you'll have
these dark reds and blues and greens and and it's i love it i i haven't seen it in a while i'm
waiting until the next time i do acid to watch it.
Like, I really want to do it on acid just because of those colors.
And it's a movie about acid, like the evil characters in this movie.
Their backstory is they were like outlaw bikers, murderous outlaw bikers who did LSD and their drug supplier made a special batch to poison them
because he wanted to kill them.
But it just mutated them into these crazed, even scarier versions
where they've self-mutilated quite a bit.
But Nick Cage actually does a good job.
Most of his movies are crap these days, to be honest.
But I love Mandy. I love Mandy. I'll definitely have to check that out. Have you seen Hobo with a Shotgun? does a good job you know most of his movies are crap these days to be honest but i love mandy
i love mandy i'll definitely have to check that out uh have you seen hobo with a shotgun yes
ah that's such a cool movie i really like uh when the hobo like i don't know if it's called a heel
turn when he turns from being meek to being a super badass guy. And just like start shooting everyone with the shotgun.
That was pretty freaking sweet.
And I really liked the colors in that movie a lot.
It's also a movie I recommend to anyone.
I liked how many times during Hobo with the Shotgun,
people, even after he got serious with his shotgun,
would be like, what are you planning to do?
What are you fixing to do with that there shotgun
you gonna kill me in front of my sons here and then he just just shoots him and then like that
happened like four times prior where someone would be like he's too much of a bitch he ain't
gonna shoot us and then he just blow their head off and then they had to relearn that lesson over
and over he was serious about his shotgun to shift the conversation a little bit i've been what i'm on my police video kick again
i can't tell you how many people when the cops point a gun at them and tell them to get on the
ground their response is what i do what i do i didn't do nothing i didn't do nothing the idea
of questioning them when they've got their gun pointed at you is so foreign to me.
Dude, I'm getting on the ground.
I'm screaming back the blue.
The blue line!
The blue line!
Everyone, everyone, open your eyes!
Let them do what they want!
I certainly don't do what I see some people do, which is decide that it's like a dance-off at that point.
And they start
jumping around, erratically moving.
It's like, no, that's...
That's how you get shot.
I like to show them how quickly
I can produce my ID.
Yeah.
It impresses them.
Impressed?
How quickly you can reach...
Remember that guy in Southolina got killed for that
they told him to get his id and he like it was um he had a truck and with a bench seat i think it
was right in the middle of the bench seat so he like opened the driver's side door and sort of
jumped in to reach past where he sits to get his id and they murdered him yeah and they murdered
him and they murdered him yeah i see that him. And they murdered him, yeah.
That's what I like about those videos.
You get an unfiltered kind of thing.
So I'll see cops be heroes and I'll see cops be criminals.
I'll see the bad.
Sometimes I'm like, man, this guy didn't even do anything
that bad. Y'all should leave him the fuck alone.
And then sometimes it's like, get him! Hit him!
Stop listening to his bullshit!
Fucking spray him! Spray him! Shoot him! I saw to his bullshit. Fucking spray him, spray him, shoot him.
I saw one where it was just a black granny
who had pissed herself in the grocery store.
Now, she's like 57 and drunk as a skunk,
but she pissed herself in the grocery store.
Grocery store, new setting for you, man.
Nothing weird so far.
Nice.
But the thing was, she made no effort to clean it up,
and she continued to shop.
And so they call the cops, and they walk up to her, like, ma'am, how's it going today?
All right.
Do you have a little accent over there in the aisle?
I sure did.
I had to go, and I couldn't find the restroom.
And she's like, I'm old.
I'm 57 years old.
It's not that old.
Catcher's craze here.
What do you mean? I was like 57 is not piss yourself age no you meant so many kids you've had i guess but they locked her up and i was kind of feeling
like man i want her granddaughters with her you know i was like let that lady go like she she
didn't maliciously piss your floor she's's just a shitty drunk person. Did she drive her granddaughter there?
That, to me...
Oh, you're right.
Yeah, she's got to go.
Oh, she was drunk.
I thought you meant...
Oh, that's why she pissed herself.
I thought you meant she was just so incontinent,
she just started pissing in the fruit section
and was like, whatever, this is what we're doing now.
Basically, but...
You can't let somebody walk around food pissing,
and that's gross.
It depends who it is.
No, it doesn't.
It does. It's really all about how hot she is.
The meat section, everything's sealed up, Taylor. What's your problem?
You guys sold me right away.
You don't want someone who looks like me
pissing in the meat section.
I get arrested right away. No, you don't get to who looks like me pissing in the meat section. I get arrested right away.
No, you don't get to piss anywhere but a bathroom.
Oh, I'm being dragged out.
I couldn't find the bathroom!
Fucking pervert!
Nobody takes my side
in that situation.
No, you know what?
I'm okay with that.
I'm okay with that because i i see
oftentimes in porn like there'll be a chick masturbating in a car like in a parking lot
you can see people behind her and stuff and it's like oh that's okay but the opposite is not okay
for some reason there's a dude jerking in a car in a parking lot like we need to we need to get
this guy lock him up right away i'm gonna shut that shut that down. That's a danger to all of us.
Whoa, this is not how the parking garage at O'Hare is meant to be used, sir.
That's step one to being fucking Jared Fogle or whatever.
You're on your way.
I have it on good authority.
He's a great guy.
Misunderstood.
I've heard that. I've heard many people.
Many people.
I mean, we had a friend, a guest on the show who was Jared Fogle's
good friend, best friend growing up.
Do you know Jared Fogle, the subway
pedophile dude?
I didn't know his last name was Fogle,
but I did know his first name was Jared.
Yeah.
We thought of him as a car guy.
We didn't know that he grew up as Jared's
best friend.
He just told us what
he was like and yeah he called the ladies of the night he he he like he he called the victims by
the way they're like 14 15 year old like midwestern looking girls like not girls who are like you know
on social media pushing themselves and these are little 14, 15-year-old
frumpy girls, Sarah Plain and Tall.
And our guest was like, yeah, those
ladies of the night, they took money.
They took money.
Because they were paid.
Everybody's dirty in this situation.
He was like, you know,
but he got taken advantage of by
those whores.
I was going to say something, but I felt like I had been shitty to like three guests in a row.
And it was one of y'all's turn to stand up to him.
I called out the guy who got fake stabbed.
I called out the guy who who who abandoned his children with the murderous wife.
Like it was.
I do remember I didn't let the Fogel stuff stand.
I'm like, no, he he touched those he diddled those girls
we all know he yeah had did that but but our boy was talking those 14 year olds and then
following it up with a foot long sweet onion chicken teriyaki that's the worst sandwich
that's what he was doing man well he had a card that would be that would give you free anything
at subway that he'd flex to the girls he'd be like i can get you all the macadamia cookies you want
ladies dude if someone if i was like good friends with someone who's like i got a subway black card
my my uncle works there at corporate i get free subway no matter what i'd be like that's great
you can brag about it more on the way to Chipotle. Like, I'm not going to fucking Subway sucks.
It's not good.
Subway's okay.
I'd rather have like Jimmy John's or Firehouse.
Yeah, Jimmy John's.
I'm over here calculating how many cookies I need to suck a dick,
and Taylor's going to Chipotle.
Okay, fine.
If we go to Chipotle, I get a nice bowl,
and then we pop by Subway,
and we absolutely clear out the white chocolate macadamia nut cookies
i'm fine with that they go in and they're like what do you want on your sandwich sir and i'm
like i want every white chocolate macadamia and they're like oh interesting this was the last
bet now we're gonna have to make a new batch today and then they're gonna expect money you're
not baking things back there go get them out of the box go yeah go get these they're pretty good cookies i've slept up and gotten a cookie at subway maybe and they're pretty fun cookies in subway
uh the chocolate white chocolate one the like the brown cookie with the white chocolate chips
that's my favorite although you know what has the best cookies but is also frozen cookies
jimmy john's jimmy john's do not does not bake their cookies? Jimmy John's. Jimmy John's
does not bake their cookies for shit.
It's in the freezer in the back.
And I know this because I used to work at a
Jimmy John's. You're dropping the
Jimmy John's tea. Yeah.
Okay. First of all,
they're new.
They have really gross
wraps now because Arby's
bought them,
and so now they're just a fast food restaurant with a bunch of different random options, including this wrap.
I mean, the chicken bacon ranch wrap is decent,
but it sucks on just some French bread.
Oh, man.
You said you liked Jimmy John's.
Yeah, I like all those sandwich places like
the better sandwich places that are more on like a chipotle level like a little bit better than
subway yeah what's your favorite sandwich though um i usually get like a club sub like bacon ham
and turkey i don't want any of the if i can have whatever i want i'm getting like a club sub
i never go to jimmy johns their bread is too hard I'm getting a club sub. I never go to Jimmy John's.
Their bread is too hard.
I'm getting pepperoncinis on there, getting olives
on there. All the bread I've had
from Jimmy John's tastes old.
I don't think I've ever been to Jimmy John's.
Firehouse Subs is
good, too. I like Schlotzky's back
in the day. The Schlotzky's
classic ham sandwich or whatever it was
had this olive paste
that was just really delicious.
To die for.
To die for.
Oh, man.
I'm so hungry.
I haven't eaten.
I've been sick for a couple days now,
and so I haven't eaten today.
Now I'm starving.
You're going to feast after this?
What's the best what restaurant?
What's the best sandwich restaurant
in your guys' opinion?
Probably Firehouse or Jimmy John's. Jimmy John'smy johns at least jimmy johns insane that's a ridiculous take firehouse firehouse i'm trying to think of like national sandwich chains firehouse is better
than jimmy johns for sure fucking blimpy is better than jimmy johns forgot about blimpy
quiz nose is better than jimmy johnsnos is better than Jimmy John's.
I haven't seen Quiznos in a long time.
I feel like Quiznos is on the out.
I haven't seen one of those in years.
Do you guys know what Wawa is?
It's like 7-Eleven.
It's heavy in New Jersey.
They make better sandwiches than anyone
we've mentioned so far.
New Jersey, Philly, Virginia.
It's all down in the East Coast, actually, where
Wawa's are. I wish we had a Wawa here.
A grocery store that has good sandwiches is Publix.
Publix has some good stuff.
That bread hurts my gums.
Hurt your gums? I've only had good
experiences at Publix. It's like eating
not even ciabatta. It's like a giant
crouton.
I'm eating it. You ever eat
Cap'n Crunch cereal
and it fucks your gums up behind your teeth
I wasn't allowed to have sweet cereal as a kid
we're an adult man now
our parents loved us and I had Cap'n Crunch sometimes
go watch one of the 500 movies you missed out on
have a bowl of Cap'n Crunch
and you'll be able to relate to me a little bit
when I tell you that it fucks your gums up
and that's how a public sandwich fucks my gums up
because it's that old fucking bread they sell me no matter what i order and i also i'm trusting some degenerate
to figure out a sandwich that i'm not even there to supervise i'd rather make my own sandwich if
i'm getting fast food or like yeah if i'm getting fast food the last thing i go to is a sandwich
because i have like buying something from subway or jimmy john's or like anything
analogous to that i'm always thinking like i could do i'm just like being lazy right now i could just
go to the grocery store and get better bread and get better meat and make a better sandwich on my
own i can't go and quickly make a double steak double chicken burrito bowl like i can't just
quickly go whip that up so i may as well spend the same amount of money and get and get more meat and you can get a good amount of meat from chipotle
kidoba those places if you play your cards right and if they have the incorrect number of workers
up there because sometimes like sometimes you get screwed where you go in like little after lunch
where they're not that busy and the same guy is like what do you want you're like give me this meat this meat give me the brown rice or
white rice whatever you pick and then if that same guy stays with you you really have no option but
to let him start to put the first scoop of chicken or beef in and it's not until that first scoop is
in that you go actually i want to double that because then an anchor point has been set for what a scoop looks like.
Then he'll hit you up with more.
You never, ever, ever
Don't ever tell
them you want double meat prior
to the scoop of the first scoop of meat.
Always act befuddled.
In conjunction
with that, Taylor,
you always get the bowl
and you get tortillas as a side because
you end up with way more you end up with enough food to make your burrito and then like have
another taco or burrito or something it's so much food in that bowl yeah dude you used to be
and then you get up to the front and sometimes they have a totally different person working
the register who's totally checked out as to what you just did.
And then you can pull a fast one.
And they're like, what did you get?
And you're like, chicken bowl.
You don't say double chicken.
You don't say double steak.
You don't say queso.
And then you get like, you get a $17 bowl for $12.
And I walk out, you know, like fucking Kaiser Sose.
He's seen a movie yes i walk out i'm limping in the parking lot and i slowly correct you're fixing your head cowlick that was an outstanding reference
there is no better place to get your money's worth than chipotle or kidoba when they have
too many people working the front i don't even know how to eat there. Oh, they're good. You go to Chipotle,
there's some dude, he's asking you all these questions
about what you want to eat.
I'm like, I don't really know. All the
meals have names that aren't in English.
And I'm like, what the fuck is the difference between
this and that? They're all
just fucking piles of trash
food and wrappers, right?
Because I feel like something has
gone wrong for you. You order a burrito and they're going to say flour
or wheat and you're going to say flour.
I'm already stumped.
You want a flour tortilla.
You want to do the flour tortilla or otherwise it tastes like
corn. I don't like corn tortilla.
You just tell them
what to put in it. They're going to say chicken or steak
and then it's up to you.
I can handle that one.
You just pick what you want on there.
It's just like Subway, but burritos.
Now I don't know.
Like how many things are they going to add?
Like what do you want on here?
Okay.
How many things are we talking about?
Do I get to have all of the things?
Yes.
Do I need to pick them up?
Okay.
So I can help you.
So the only thing that costs extra is guac, queso, and the meats that you put in the burrito.
And they will add as much.
the queso and the meats that you put in the burrito.
And they will add as you can just,
you can get,
you can say chicken steak and pork and they'll just charge you like four or five extra dollars for the extra pork and steak.
But like rice and everything else is free.
And if you want black beans and pinto beans,
you just,
you know,
you get half and half.
This is wild.
This is wild.
No,
this is not,
I'm not even joking because it's weird to me.
They'll be like,
Hey,
do you want corn?
And I'm like,
I don't know.
Am I using up one of my precious three choices or can I just have it no it's such a it's such a streamlined process
it's like subway you can have as many you have tomatoes onions olives and lettuce or any
combination you know pepperoncini is in there too like like oil and vinegar like It doesn't call it... What's a pepper chini? There's little spicy
peppers that are in vinegar.
Yeah.
It's like a little banana pepper.
Is it something that grows out of the ground
or do they turn a pepper into a chini?
No, it's a pepper.
It's a pickle pepper.
It's a banana pepper that is in
I guess, what is it?
I know what a banana pepper is it's like a banana
in a vinegar mixture that makes it a little more mild but they add some more spices and stuff in
there so it's very good well that's just bullshit they made it milder than spiced it back up yeah
anyway you can throw i i get those on my sandwich every time but yes it's chipotle is subway but
with you know mexican food except the only thing that costs more money just like subway is the meats yeah chipotle
kidoba those are both the exact same place as far as i'm concerned they are infinitely better than
than subway quiz sandwich shops yeah yeah i don't have a i don't have so you're in trump territory
i wanted to talk to you about that what's. What's that like being in rural Kentucky?
Maybe not fitting in exactly.
Where in Kentucky are you?
Actually, I'm in the town of the first KFC.
Corbin, Kentucky.
The first KFC, best KFC in the world
because there's a bunch of tourists and they have
to maintain their standards and so the kfc there is bomb it's amazing in that one uh they don't but
they do have a museum they have an entire museum and they have a couch they have a couch in this
kfc oh shit it's pretty it's epic. There's no Chipotle in this town,
but there is a Moe's.
I've never been to that Moe's
because it's next to the interstate.
I like Moe's because they got a shtick.
You go into Moe's, welcome to Moe's!
And it gets lazy over time as the day goes on.
So then when you walk in,
eventually everyone choruses together, Moe's! Your Mo i've never experienced that they have to it's like that bank
that that owed kramer the 20 for not saying like hello or whatever like like when you walk into a
they yell at you welcome to mo's i didn't know everybody not just one guy like everybody together
i've probably been half a dozen times, not in many years now,
but they never sang at me.
That's Joe's.
That's a bootleg Moe's.
You said you don't want to go to Moe's because it's close to the freeway.
I mean, that's not the reason.
I want to go to Moe's.
It's next to the freeway, and so it's kind of out of the way.
But then whenever I am going on to the freeway, it's like, well, there's other food in different towns.
I'd rather go to somewhere else than Moe's.
But I do want to try Moe's.
I've never...
It's all the same.
Yeah, it tastes pretty similar to Chipotle.
Okay.
I think maybe guac's included with the Home Wrecker burrito i think that's that's their
only little spin and they suck they have queso that's pretty good queso queso good queso is
necessary i gotta check out their queso yeah i love a good queso on the burrito me too yeah i
like to dip chips into the queso and eat them it It's like nachos. That's pretty standard.
That is.
You don't just
pour it into little cups and drink it?
Oh my god, I've been ruining my
queso consumption.
I just chew up a bunch of chips and then pour the
hot cheese right into my...
Here I have been
burning my hands, reaching into
the cup, scooping bits of cheese into my face.
Have you seen that restaurant experience
where they pour the melted cheese
all over the food
and they're doing it from up above?
I fucking hate that.
They should be in prison.
I saw a clip where some hobo
walking down the street,
some filthy mongrel,
reaches mid-pour
and grabs himself
a big old chunk of cheese
and yanks it clear of
their dinner. And the
man who's sitting there in the foreground
goes, like a really
gay surprise look.
Like, oh!
It was the
dinner. Because
they're pouring it on a bunch of meat and vegetables
it looked like.
Now you've got homeless hand germs
on the last tendrils of cheese.
They don't watch.
There's a specific place
that I go to. There's a local taco
shop that I go to weekly
though. It has the best
queso, best fajitas
and nachos I've ever had.
They have
incredibly cheap tacos.
It's $1.25 a taco.
Pretty solid.
Yeah, and it's like,
wow. Is it C Senor
Mexico Bar and Grill or Santa Fe Mexican?
C Senor.
Get out of there, Woody.
I'm super curious about Corbin Kentucky.
I've been deep diving since she mentioned the town name.
They had a race riot
and they rounded up
every black person
in the town and shipped them out.
Yeah, that was like 1921.
Federal Express?
It was a train, I think.
Train's a bad look.
I didn't think of that.
Rounded all of them up and sent them out?
1919, yeah.
Oh, 1919.
What do they call that in Boerhammer, Kyle?
Not a Pyrrhic defeat.
The decisive victory?
Yeah, decisive victory.
I used to go to Harlan, Kentucky a lot.
I was like, how similar are these towns?
I want to know.
Harlan sounds familiar.
Something happened there.
Is that Dukes of Hazzard?
No, that's Hazzard County.
There's a Brad Paisley song about Harlan, Kentucky.
Maybe that rings a bell.
It's a coal mining town.
Would you rather have sex with a homeless person
or a dolphin?
Don't they both rape? they do that's a great answer
oh god uh and and just to be clear whichever one you pick the other one watches
oh jesus fuck that's such a hard choice i mean my immediate answer is none of them but that's not an answer no uh
dolphin yeah that's the that's the correct answer you you've won uh we're going to send you a uh a
one month supply of lock and load i would pick the dolphin too because the dolphin isn't going
to tell anybody he raped me and i can just kill the homeless guy afterward. No witnesses.
I can just let myself and make up a story about how I fell on some rebar
at a construction site or something.
See, I go the other way.
A bunch of my friends are homeless, and they're nice people.
A lot of your friends are homeless.
Not that kind of homeless, Woody.
Not a van life.
You don't get to pick and choose what kind of homeless.
They have no home.
No, gibbering.
I bet when he files his taxes, writes some sort of like weird like van
living exemption right like super curious about that actually ask him it might be one of those
things where he's like shut up don't ask about how i filed my residency
hank hill he was molested by a van and he turned out just fine one of my residency. Remember Hank Hill? He was molested by an orphan and he turned out just fine.
One of my homeless friends upgraded his
home to a school bus.
He's not homeless. Not real.
Mint, let me ask
you. It's great to have a young
lady's perspective on such matters.
Woody has some friends who are fairly well-to-do.
They have money. They could have a
real home if they wished, but they choose to do
this van life thing
that you might be familiar with where they just kind of
become homeless
and live in a
kind of pimped out van but not really
and travel around the country. Sort of living
in Walmart parking lots
and camping grounds
and never really getting a good full
shower. You know.
They have gym memberships. Planet Fitness.
Oh, come on. Have you seen the shower at a gym? I mean, you can getting a good full shower. They have gym memberships. Planet Fitness.
Have you seen the shower at a gym?
You can also go to truck stops.
Truck stops is the way.
You're right.
That's fine.
Does that seriously lower
a guy's sexual market value
if he lives in a van?
It depends on the question.
So the situation is going to be this.
He has driven your van to a parking lot near you.
Lucky you. And he's hitting you up
on Tinder or something saying, hey,
my name's fucking Chad.
I'm a van life vagabond.
I've been all over the country
and I'm lucky for you. I'm at Los
Cuomos Tacos over here at $1.25 each it's and i'm having a few would you like to come
bang in my van that i travel the world in there's no way i'm getting in that guy's van
i would be so scared like he's got you know what one of them he started with the double mattress
and then he found out he had far fewer partners than he hoped and he's like i could
use the floor space level who am i kidding scary it's scary to like i don't want to hang out with
another man in his van yeah i wouldn't want to be seen getting out of it right like imagine it's
if like you just walk you're at the park with your buddies you're throwing horseshoes and you look up
and like two dudes get out of the back of an at ford arrow star all sweaty yeah that's gay as hell and they come over they want to throw
horseshoes too but i ain't having it and you're like come on kyle let them play and i start
dropping slurs yeah you're missing the worst part of it like you you check out the van right because
there's been upgrades and he's real the one i'm talking about super handy very good craftsman and just like i can't
tell you he's a he's an artist type craftsman i've seen him make a coffee table out of a propeller
and an airplane skull you'd be shocked he takes human bones so his his van is just perfection
everywhere it's perfect it's so nicely done and you go in there and you're like, wow, this is great. And then you realize
it smells a little like a diaper.
And they're like, the chemical toilet
hasn't been cleaned.
It's in here somewhere.
That's gross.
That's gross.
That's van life, man.
I would rather
stick with house life.
You know what it's like? It's like that Simpsons episode with Milhouse's dad and Homer,
and he's like, I've got a race car bed.
Do you sleep in a race car bed?
And he's like, no, I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Oh, I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Milhouse's dad is like, shit, that's way better than a race car bed.
Check this out, Homer.
Do you sleep in a race car bed?
No, I sleep in a big bed
with my wife.
That only happened once.
Isn't that kind of what Milhouse's dad
sounds like? Where he's like,
what do you say, Luann?
You want to get married again?
And then she's like, no!
And he kicks him out of the house.
She always had a smoking hot boyfriend, though.
It was like I think maybe she was like dating McBain at one point.
You know, she was dating one of the American gladiators.
That was the lore.
Yeah.
Like, wow, it's Axel.
It was Axel.
Something like that.
It was like torque or rod or something.
It would have been rod, though, because it's already a rod.
Yeah.
Well, you guys. That's probably a wrap there.
Mitt, we really appreciate you coming on,
hanging out with us for all four hours.
It was fun.
You really made it interesting.
I thought it was really fun that the way we learned more about you
as the show went on.
I'm glad we saved pee for the third hour.
That was fun.
We'll put links to all of your P and non related
sites and such
down below in the description
thanks for coming on though
any other shout outs
any other accounts you want to promote
so I do
daily movie reviews
on youtube.com
slash ASC presents every day
at 7pm.m et and then um oh i do
i do the clip of her show uh for canon's sake dot live that's just um if you're interested in drama
specifically related to eric july it's like drama and hating shit. If you're interested in that,
we do that
pretty much daily.
If you're not interested in that,
I do have my daily show
and also you can
go check out my
Fansly is my main
spicy site.
I got it in my Linktree link.
tr.e. Titsman salad.
It's on the screen.
And what else do I have?
I do daily.
I do movie review requests.
If you want to request me to do a movie review,
you can do that for $20.
Patreon.com slash ASC presents.
And also my Twitter
autistic boobs.
Twitter dot com slash autistic
boobs.
Alright. I just followed you. So there we go.
Hey! Woohoo!
Glad to get that follow.
I don't think she stopped moving the whole
four hours. No. You know what?
Don't tell people you're autistic. Tell them you're Italian.
And then that...
That worked out well.
Check out all of
Min's stuff below. Thank you so much
for joining us. Get yourself jacked. Get yourself
laid. Impress the girls with your cum shots.
PKA 682.