Painkiller Already - PKA 682 W/Mint Salad: Going The Extra Mile, Paid To Be A Giant, Leaking In The Meat Section

Episode Date: January 13, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 P.K.A. 682 with our guest, Mint Salad. Taylor? This episode of P.K.A. is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com, Lock and Load, and Merrick Health. Merrick Health. We'll hear more about them later. Mint, thank you so much for joining us this evening. Hello.
Starting point is 00:00:14 Hi. Nice to be here. How are you? How are you doing? How long is our no-girl streak on this show? Is it a decade? I'm counting Finster, goddammit. Finster's a girl.
Starting point is 00:00:27 All right. I'm doing i'm doing solid mint to answer your question thank you for for being so polite and joining us for i'm sure a lot of our audience isn't familiar with you can you give us a rundown on the kind of content you make and how you got started in it okay um so i do daily mover reviews and i also do uh daily sets on fansly where i started though so i am from i am from the dick showed side of things i actually started i started listening to the old biggest problem in high school and then i i caught up to where uh the the i caught up to the Dick Show in June 2019. I was like, oh, there's a bunch of drama that I missed. And I was a fan of The Biggest Problem. I was a fan of the Dick Show.
Starting point is 00:01:16 I started doing thumbnails for him. And through that, I was able to do art for Who Are These Podcasts and Hack the Movies. In particular, Hack the Movies is why I do daily movie reviews now. A fun story. I was supposed to watch the first Power Rangers movie. I was supposed to review it on a show. I did review it on a show, but I fell asleep during show but i fell asleep during the movie so i walked on yeah uh and i walked onto the set and i was being asked questions like oh who is your who
Starting point is 00:01:54 went in a fight like rita or like some mortal kombat character and i picked rita he's like he would ask me why and i'd produce quotables like oh oh, because of the quick kickiness. Like I didn't know what was happening on the plot whatsoever. And I did such a terrible job on that movie review that I just felt I needed to redeem myself. I just went ahead and started my own movie review show. I'm currently 500 days in a row straight of movie reviews. And that's what I'm doing right now. And my career goal is to be a colorist for comic books.
Starting point is 00:02:34 You know, because I've just been doing art all my life. I'm an artist. I just knew that I always wanted to be an artist. But I didn't quite like know like which direction to go so i learned how to do all of it the line art the coloring it wasn't until last year that i really looked into comic books because of the whole eric july drama and yeah i was like oh wow colorist that's a whole career field this is what i want to do is colorist the same thing as animator uh no animator is an animator you draw each frame you draw each frame and it's just there's like also different jobs for the animators too you
Starting point is 00:03:23 can do the key frames and then you have the in-betweeners you get like character designers and then also colorists and background artists for animators the all different jobs i thought that i wanted to be an animator i learned how to draw based off of cartoons and then i was like okay animation is it's time consuming, but I would, I really thought that I wanted to do animation. And then I got into comic books like pretty recently, like within like the last year. And oh, wow. Sequential arts in comic books. And I don't have to draw each, each animation frame of like the movement.
Starting point is 00:04:03 I always found that to be like the hardest part of animation is just having to draw it over and over again it's still still being like consistent and also like with the line art and also being like all dynamic and such and but like with comic books you can still have that sequential art you can still tell a story and you don't have to animate the in-betweens so and so i've i was like oh wow this has opened an entirely new world for me i just want to be a colorist for comic books now so how does a colorist do that job like it i'm so old my initial thought was it involved like markers and shit it probably doesn't it's probably ipads and e-pencils sketch up i think it's called right uh so i actually there's like there's a few
Starting point is 00:04:54 ways you could do the traditional method you could print off a piece of paper and then color onto that using specific pencils uh markers or whatever or you can do the digital way, which I'm going to do. I'm actually a digital artist, so I know how to digitally color, digitally blend stuff. I can do watercolor traditionally, but I just prefer to do digital. What's the word for it? It's not... Easier. Is it because you can erase and edit and do it more yeah yeah you can you don't have to dedicate yourself to a line stroke that you do and like oh if you messed up then you can just hit undo so you can have the perfect product out there if it's digital like the perfect colored thing if it's digital and it's that's why i like to do digital because then i can really control
Starting point is 00:05:53 how much colors i use and where the colors go that's the that's why i'm gonna do that's why i'm doing uh digital coloring okay and that's my that's my projected career path are you working i see you're wearing the super killer hat i know that that's veto of the dick show or of the biggest problem he's been on here a couple times are you helping with his project at all uh i did a trading card for his campaign like it was a stretch goal to do trading cards and i did one of them okay and that's that's the exposure that i have to like comic books like working on comic books and anyone who wants a coloring job who needs a colorist for your comic book, hit me up. So hit her up. Her links will be below for colorist needs. So yes,
Starting point is 00:06:48 you got into the, the colorist thing. Do you do like gaming streams or any other content? Um, I do. They, uh, I do gaming streams.
Starting point is 00:06:58 Sometimes I mostly focus on the daily movie reviews and also my daily sets that i do and also draw and color that's what i'm focusing on right now okay so are you so you haven't missed a day in almost two years a year and a half yeah 500 daily movie reviews straight right now there's no way that you have had a list of like 800 movies that you like were excited to get to. How many movies in before you were like, oh, God. Oh, all right. This one. Ninja Turtles 2, Lost in New York or like just some nonsense thing. Um, it's it's really helpful for like i have the audience request movies people can request movies on my patreon.com slash asc presents they can request movies and then that opens my mind to movies i
Starting point is 00:07:54 never even thought about or even heard about because when i started doing the daily move reviews when i started doing the min salad sauce. I know like almost no movies I saw pretty much like my entire life. I was growing up drawing, just focused on drawing, ignored all the movies, ignored all the social stuff. Just was drawing, drawing, drawing. And then when I went on the Hack the Movies show and he just knows so much about movies. He's seen like thousands of movies like, wow, I know nothing about movies. And then I just felt I needed to learn more about movies. Cause also what's helpful about watching movies is like shot references and
Starting point is 00:08:37 like helps with shot composition, uh, value work, very important in movies. Um, uh value work very important in movies um ever since i started watching movies like more more dedicatedly i was able to really pinpoint what makes a movie like good in in the picture of it like values really help and i was like oh wow what's what's missing from my artwork is the consideration of values so i've incorporated that into my coloring i understand what we're talking consideration of values what does that mean pretend none of us know anything about art at all oh okay so values it's like uh white black in between the that's that's the value scale so the white is the whitest part black is the blackest part and then the grays in between the that's that's the value scale so you get the white is the whitest part black is the blackest part and then the grays in between those are the values so like light
Starting point is 00:09:31 gray dark gray middle gray that's the values so so we're talking about the videography of a movie right now yeah that can apply to like pictures like like a photograph how like how many how much black and how much white there is and how much gray tone there is is like that's the value work of a piece and then in translating that into color it's it's a little bit harder to consider uh value work in color if you're also not considering how it will translate in black and white so uh boy i'm just realizing i know so much about art how do i explain all this uh um it's a series of grays yeah yeah series of grays is a good way to describe value work.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Values are important in media because it helps establish the tone. Like if you have a darker picture of a movie, the values are going to be generally darker. And it's supposed to establish the mood of a movie. And also, if you have a generally dark picture and then you have some white bam your eyes are going to go towards that white that's the first thing that your eyes will see is the contrast between the heavy contrast and the white will just be there your eyes will draw to it
Starting point is 00:11:02 focus pose focus polls to to establish like what you're supposed to be looking at first uh oh man there's a lot of movies that do this well especially older ones like citizen kane understands values very well like i tried to watch that when i had to watch citizen kane when i was like 14 in this high school throwaway movie class but because it was school it was almost like i'm not paying attention like i'm not like it was all we were doing i was only 14 also and i remember not thinking it was very good but maybe now as an adult if i went back i would enjoy it i'd have to even if i didn't i'd have to pretend to because i feel like that's a mark of a dullard
Starting point is 00:11:50 someone who's like i don't get it what's the snow globe well i i mean it's also from a different time it's from like it's it's from so many generations ago that it it's kind of weird to watch i'm not a big fan of nazis we're warning the horizon oh i love it's number of weird to watch. I'm not a big fan of Citizen Kane. Nazis were warning on the horizon. It's number one on tons of lists, like all time. Yeah, there's a reason for that. I feel. Old timey shows, I can't get past the acting. It is by today's
Starting point is 00:12:17 standards terrible. It's not natural. It's stage acting, theatrical acting. Like before there was video and they just did like tv acting and they sort of overdid the voices and the accents you know yeah i'm exactly where i was going like james cagney like like coming to the room all right you listen up you uh you're gonna be right there you're gonna do what i say all right and it's like this is not
Starting point is 00:12:42 how any humans anywhere have ever conversed. But then you just get more to the Godfather. They're having these quiet conversations over a table. And so slowly the train overhead, the roar builds as the tension builds. And like, yeah, you watch Pacino's eyes. And it's like, yeah, I like this. This is a good move. I think they're going to look back at today's movies and say, I can't get over the terrible audio.
Starting point is 00:13:02 They're going to say, you cannot hear the characters. You have to watch 2020s movies with closed captions on because the audio is inaudible constantly. I bet they'll make fun of the ratio of CGI that there is to non-CGI because it's almost like in Lord of the Rings when that came out, it wasn't even that big a deal because it was like, yeah, of course they made armor for all the Uruk-hai and all the orcs,
Starting point is 00:13:31 and of course Aragorn's armor is real, and Legolas is, and Gimli's holding a real axe. That's just how you do it. And now in the world we live in with Marvel movies and everything, people look back at Lord of the Rings like, can you believe they made all this stuff? 20 years from now, I bet they look back on lord of the rings like can you believe they made all this stuff like 20 years from now i bet they look back on like the silly superhero fights and are like look how lazy this one i have another one i bet they look at the length of the shot like it if you look critically
Starting point is 00:13:55 at a show nowadays the average length before a jump cut is something like three seconds yeah jump and with i get frustrated go on yeah with older movies um there's a lot of yeah like you like you mentioned it was like um like a stage play um i actually like that aspect of older movies because it feels more lived in there is not as many uh cuts between like a scene maybe it'll cut away to show something very significant, like someone's doing an action and then it'll cut to them just doing the monologue, and there's a lot of camera movement. It feels like they're in
Starting point is 00:14:32 the scene, versus now, modern movies, they're so heavily reliant on CGI and so many cuts, and it's just so hard to pay attention to. Even with the weird accents that Kyle mentioned, i get that it feels to me it just feels that older movies they were definitely trying a lot more a lot harder
Starting point is 00:14:58 to do like a stage play make it so the movies are it just feels more lived in and so because of that i believe the movie is more i just i just i just take the word for it that these guys sound goofy and that's just the world there's just so many people everyone's from the north atlantic like yeah they all sound yeah um but specifically citizen kane though the reason why i brought it up is the shot compositions are so perfect and they're so it's so intentional and you can only do that like with the camera like i'm thinking of a particular scene at the very beginning where there's a shot of a boy through the window and we have the adults talking within the cabin and it's just so shot up perfectly i'm like whoa this couldn't have been done unless it was rehearsed over and
Starting point is 00:15:53 over and over again and i feel like now modern movies if they tried to do that they would just have a green screen through that window and then they would place the actor digitally like in the green screen window and just feel a little bit fake. I just feel there's so much more artistry with older movies than there is with newer movies. Of course, there's CGI and such. And there's just so many digital artists that they hire. And I'm glad that they're getting paid and being fed. And I'm glad they're getting jobs.
Starting point is 00:16:22 I just personally like the stage feel of movies more in the olden time. Yeah. Do you agree? Disagree? Kyle? See, Kyle's our resident movie aficionado, expert. I personally have seen dozens of films. Don't mean to buzz.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Did you see Thanksgiving? The Eli Roth horror movie that just came out? Oh, I wanted to. It didn't actually come out in theaters. It didn't come out in theaters near me, so I would have seen it. I've got it on Plex. It's actually really good. All right, really good.
Starting point is 00:16:57 What it is, it's Scream, but with a Thanksgiving twist. And Tim Dillon's in it. He's the security guard who's cowardly and fucks up. Oh, that's fun. Tim Dillon's there at the beginning and he's like, alright, stay back. Fuck. And then the crowd gets aggressive. It's a crowd outside of a Walmart during Black Friday
Starting point is 00:17:16 and the Black Friday thing goes crazy and people are getting their faces ripped off and stomped and killed and everything. And so the mystery killer comes back the next year to get his revenge at Thanksgiving. But it's all thanksgiving related stuff all the time of black friday people get their faces ripped off they used to go to black friday do you remember like there was a period from like 2009 to 2013 i feel like where people were getting physically fucked up at black friday every year and then slowly Cyber Monday took all their momentum,
Starting point is 00:17:47 and now people... That's why I was training those years. That's why you were training? So you could fuck up some retard on the way to grab a terrible quality, low refresh rate, 42-inch TV? In real life, pub stomping. It's the Walmart waiting line. Woody doesn't even leave with anything in a cart.
Starting point is 00:18:04 He's just there for the raucous fight he's got his hands taped yeah what is there for the love of the game he's like no i already have a new better tv arriving in three days off amazon i'm here to beat your ass what is this guy in line at 4 a.m with a lawn chair and a mouth guard yeah yeah people could just wait for cyber friday i mean cyber monday it's better like it's weird to me that the retailers don't want to get that foot traffic and and because i remember the first big one was when they the first dvd players were like 25 like they had been hundreds and hundreds of dollars and suddenly it was like hey buy this little piece of shit it plays dvds it's 25 at 8 a.m or 7 a.m whenever they open and there were
Starting point is 00:18:47 crowds there were people getting their asses kicked over fucking dvd players and screaming and like like i missed that for as a spectator did you ever go to black friday i've gone to some midnight releases but never like a black friday like i've stood in line to be the first to or one of the first to like get out of thing but never like I went to a plan the doors open I wasn't there for the doors open like you said so by the time like the only good sales were like power strips that aren't really surge protectors I'm like I don't even want this this is terrible the TV's are gone did the deals used to be better or have they all always been like scam deals and people the consumers just got better at it because now it would be better it was a different kind of scam i half agree with kyle like there were
Starting point is 00:19:31 great deals tvs that they probably sold at a loss but they had six of them that's why everyone was in line and then everyone else all day long do you still have the tvs no of course not they would they would hype it up with things like they would make it so the first 50 uh customers got a free thing and now you've got people chomping at the bit just to get into your store and you know the free things four dollars to you and ten dollars if they actually bought it and they're gonna go buy some candy or they're gonna go buy something you know it's just it's i don't know why they don't do it anymore i I want to watch. I don't care about the deals. I want to see the fight. Maybe it was the fights.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Go participate. Did you see they're now doing Black Friday weeks now? The entire week of Thanksgiving. Black Friday deals. A whole sales event now. Yeah. Car dealerships.
Starting point is 00:20:23 I think they're trying to reduce the violence but that's the entire point of black friday is to see them fight over tvs so they think if they can break up one major day of war into seven minor skirmishes they can prorate the violence level yeah they don't have to pay any uh any um they don't have to pay any money to anyone who gets injured in the stores i think they're trying to avoid that now i wouldn't participate in black friday but if i were ever just driving down the street and i saw one of those like target lootings going down i might pop in like yeah if target's already being looted everyone's stealing stuff i'm not even i'm gonna be a very minor scale looter.
Starting point is 00:21:07 I might steal a couple snacks, something like that. I don't know, because I assume the good stuff's going to be gone. I'll just get soaps. You get soap? You'd steal soap from the... I'd steal soap and toilet paper and paper towels. You know how much paper goods are these days? Of course you'd steal paper goods. That's a riot, not the apocalypse.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Do you grab an extra large trench coat and try to convince them you're two people on each other's shoulders no you wouldn't have to like they're going to be distracted trying to like be a defensive lineman to stop the guy who's like using the home depot style roll cart that's got seven tvs meanwhile mint has got 35 dollars of paper goods that are taking out pretending she's pregnant yeah and no one is ever going to suspect no one is ever going to suspect a thing no one's going to look at me just taking whatever i need for my household so i'm stocked up for a year like i don't think anyone anyone who's like rioting who doesn't take these things i don't think they got their priorities
Starting point is 00:22:10 straight they need to they need to prioritize their taking all the paper goods still i'd still be too big of a baby i think to actually go in and like mid-riot steal stuff i would still be thinking about it enough internally to be like okay i'm just another guy with nine xbox controllers walking towards the front of the store and i would like i'd like stand by an unoccupied checkout for like maybe two minutes and then like visibly look aggravated as the mayhem's happening and then like walk out like i was trying to pay i was like look at the camera and go i'll come back yeah i'll come back with money put it on my tab exactly and then i get to go out there and poach my xbox i imagine that's probably a good high value item right if you're going to go in there controllers yeah
Starting point is 00:22:57 definitely not food oh laptops that's probably good you gotta got to be quick if you're running into a target because I don't even think they have a big electronics department. Do they? Oh, dude, the most depressing thing. I saw a photo from a Best Buy because I haven't been in one in a fucking 15 years or some shit, but I saw a photo of one, and my God, they were taking all of the physical media out. The middle of Best Buy, for you young quipper snappers, used to be just aisle after aisle of Blu-rays, DVDs, and every other format of music and video.
Starting point is 00:23:37 Just aisle after aisle of it. Video games, obviously, that's where you went if you wanted a real selection of games. Oh, yeah. If it wasn't a GameStop. I remember feeling cool, but picking up cd that said explicit on it and i'm like that's where i got my m&m cds like like i i like corny me was a huge m&m fan and i was i don't want that target version we got to go to best buy yeah he's the red warning yeah they took all that shit out because but but then on the other hand i keep seeing i think it was playstation that did that thing where people who had purchased movies or media tv shows or what
Starting point is 00:24:09 have you on the the psn they were just changing those libraries and you were losing access to content you'd paid for so you bought the movie quote unquote you own it quote unquote and they're like ah we're removing it from our servers so wait wait, I own that. Yeah, but we don't want to keep paying the licensing fee to the company that let us let you own it. So fuck you. And all of a sudden we've kind of come full circle. And I almost want to get some fucking Blu-rays, not only because of what I just said, but because with some of the shows that I like are a little bit edgy. Like it's always sunny in Philadelphia, South Park and stuff like that can be a bit irreverent. And over time, we've seen they go back and be like,
Starting point is 00:24:47 you can't do that joke anymore. It's like, well, good, because we're not doing it anymore. We did it then. Yeah, but I don't want anybody to see it anymore on Paramount+. You can't even laugh at it anymore. You can't even laugh at it anymore. And they just remove the whole episode. And so there's a handful. I can name them.
Starting point is 00:25:04 One of them is the Jihad episode, I think. There's a handful i i could name them they're one of them's the the jihad episode i think um there's um there's definitely the south park where they show muhammad um the super friends yeah they got rid of the super friends by the way every other god and uh whatever is represented like vishnu is there that that elephant thing is there like fucking buddha jesus christ is there everybody's coming together to do, like, super friends. Geshi? Geshi, the elephant thing? Am I close? Oh, I don't know. Vishnu.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Okay. Sounds right. I know my Marvel character is better than my Hindu character. I think that's Vishnu. I think Vishnu's the elephant multiple arm woman. Or maybe it's a man, beast. Which one has the extra titties? Oh, there's a good deal of them. Oh, thank God. Mint. Would it be preferable to have three breasts or two?
Starting point is 00:25:49 If you could be the one girl who had three, would you welcome that? Yes, of course. An extra tit to squeeze. Although bras would be hard. That's the only issue. You'd be able to afford custom bras. I followed you.
Starting point is 00:26:05 I followed your link tree, and I see that you're on OnlyFans. What percentage are you? That's every OnlyFans person, right? Yeah, I'm on Fansly and OnlyFans. OnlyFans too. At least top 5%. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Yeah. Oh, you know, I actually had a thought to what kyle was saying earlier about um the streaming platforms you know with old media like the twilight zone uh paramount plus specifically sucks at preserving the twilight zone they have like audio synced, desynced. It's just completely desynced audio and it just sounds bad and muddled. It's like, would
Starting point is 00:26:51 much rather prefer physical media than just the streaming services. I feel like I've come full circle around to the physical media because I was buying it repeatedly, right?
Starting point is 00:27:10 Like, Oh, do you want to buy twilight zone? Sure. That's a beta tape. And then it's a VHS tape. Then it's this DVD. Then it's a Blu-ray.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Now, what are you going to play it on? I got it. I just figured it out. I just cracked the code. So first of all, there's another instance where it's good to have physical media and that's a property like tales from the crypt where nobody knows who fucking owns it
Starting point is 00:27:29 anymore. There's like, it's like Spider-Man meme in a circle where everybody's pointing at each other, but they're pointing at themselves. There's like the, the, the comic people,
Starting point is 00:27:37 the artists, the, the, the writers, the multiple TV networks, major companies, you can't get it. So the answer is to pirate it on Plex
Starting point is 00:27:46 because I've got the Twilight Zone synced up on Plex. I've got Tales from the Crypt. All of them that were ever made in order sequentially. The Plex guy rules. We love you, brother. My family knows about you.
Starting point is 00:28:02 I've been using Plex for like four years before you guys joined me. They mocked me for being a pirate. I just flew my Jolly Roger. I want to see that meme of like dangerous Woody. He's like, at first they mocked me and then joined me.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Now, Woody was a first adopter of the Plex thing. Are you familiar with what that services meant? Only within the last year because I'd look was a first adopter of the of the plex thing are you familiar with what that services meant um only within the last year because i'd look up movies that i need to watch and be like free on plex i'm like oh okay but i have okay so let me let me give you the nitty-gritty here so that the idea it also it does that it is just one of those apps that streams movies you can buy movies like with commercials um or or i think think you can rent movies without commercials
Starting point is 00:28:45 perhaps on there too. I could be wrong. My experience is the commercial thing and they're free, which is fine. The real cool thing is that it has this feature so that you can have your movies anywhere and you just add a bunch of accounts to it. We all have all of the movies everywhere.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Pages and pages of whatever we want for free there's a person who watches the show who has a plex server he puts you know his movies on there but he's a fan of the show so kyle will so much as mention like you know i watched on the waterfront again and sure enough that's added like the next day you know for anyone who's interested in the show and a thing that kyle mentioned it gets available so i'm saying i'm such a simpleton with it when i got added to the server i remember talking to woody and kyle where i'm like this is incredible it's replaced all my streaming services it's free you can watch anything even if it's still in theaters and it's totally legal and kyle and woody were like we were
Starting point is 00:29:40 like retarded like this is absolutely not how you're going to be. It's like we're all in an alley doing lines of... We're all in some room upstairs doing lines of cocaine. And Taylor's like, oh my God, why have I never heard about this shit before? Give me some more. It makes you feel good and wonderful. It's legal and it's healthy. I'm not even in a straight kind of way. I've got energy and it's legal.
Starting point is 00:30:04 And we're like... Keep it down. Don't talk about it on your podcast I gotta look into this I do have physical discs of all of the Twilight Zone and also Columbo because the streaming services fuck these perfect shows up with their audio desyncing with with all the
Starting point is 00:30:27 platforms what's the best episode of twilight zone i actually have watched a lot of that show used to be on on like nick at night back in the day i love twilight zone um out of the ones that i've seen since um i've only seen actually up to, yeah, 19 as of this episode. Episode 1 through 19. I really like Shot an Arrow into the Sky. Is that what it's called?
Starting point is 00:30:56 Shot an Arrow into something. Into the Air. Into the Air. Thank you. Shot an Arrow into the Air. I love that episode. I love the twist. I don't want to spoil it. What'd you say? Is that it? It's a poem. It's a Shot an arrow into the air. I love that episode. I love the twist. I don't want to spoil it. What'd you say? It's a poem. I shot an arrow into the air. It fell to earth. I know not where.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Oh, I didn't know it was based off a poem, but that's even cooler. Man, good art. I love good art, man. It's so good. Did you do any of those posters behind you do any of those posters behind you? Or are those just art that you liked?
Starting point is 00:31:28 This is Ethan VanSkyver Arts. I'm a really big fan of his arts. So much so that I have the posters here. Colorist Kyle Ritter did this. It's just beautiful.
Starting point is 00:31:44 The kisses of appreciation to the art did this. It's just beautiful. Mwah, mwah, mwah. Like, okay. Yeah, the kisses of appreciation to the art because Ethan VanSkyver has replaced myself as my favorite artist. So detailed. Okay, Kanye!
Starting point is 00:32:01 You know, Kanye had that quote, his greatest regret would be that he would never get to see himself live. That's a shame. Yeah. I mean, I would be that, too. I'd feel like that, too, if I were Kanye. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:16 I mean, isn't he known for putting on great shows? Or is he not? Is he really? I don't know. I don't know. I'm a very recent fan. Same. He picked me up in the fall. He picked me up in the fall.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Yeah. So I saw last night, I subscribed to a bunch of Kanye subreddits, of course, and they said, Kanye, it said something like, Kanye does the best transitions, and it was him performing on stage and uh it was him performing
Starting point is 00:32:45 on stage and him trans it looked it was an incredible performance first of all the pyrotechnics the lasers the fog everything the coordination all the dancers and everything it was more of a it was like performance art as much as it was a concert i went to uh usher concert one time and his shit is also ridiculous uh it's like a whole fucking like that's just the stage morphs between songs it becomes a whole new fucking thing um but Kanye yeah I don't know I I really enjoyed uh like maybe a handful of Kanye songs but I've gotten fascinated with him during his mental breakdown period like I'm more interested in you know like the nitty-gritty of his life and it's the more I about him, the more I like Kim Kardashian
Starting point is 00:33:28 because when you see behind the scenes when she's not trying to project an image, you see a really reasonable sensible version of Kim Kardashian who's like, Kanye, I told you. I don't want to do that. This is crazy what you're talking about. And then him just going off on a tangent of clear craziness. Damn, she is the reasonable one. I didn't want her to be.
Starting point is 00:33:52 I want Kanye to be right. But I think Kanye is actually an insane person. I like those clips of Kanye now. Did you see the one where he's at a private, it seems like a private kind of dinner party, and he's performing some music up there oh yeah and clearly everyone's like this rules kanye west is gonna sing a couple songs for us and kanye lures them in with the song and then just firing off about jews like like wow he
Starting point is 00:34:21 he coaxes them in with the song I wrote this one about the evil of the Jews and now we're gonna take eight minutes in between songs now for me to talk about some theories it's like alright go off and everyone is like after a couple minutes is like man
Starting point is 00:34:39 please go back to singing you know you're bringing the vibe of the whole party down the only thing that i've seen of his concerts is when he was in paris he played that like paris song 14 times in a row and i thought that was pretty epic i was like that's the song you would play in paris because we're in paris once no 14 times 14 times in a row. Yeah, if it plays, it stays. If it's still
Starting point is 00:35:08 peering it, you just keep going after it. I don't know what he's up to now. Oh, you do? We just followed him. He's with his smoking hot Italian wife. She's got the... Oh, man. I saw a video of her
Starting point is 00:35:23 a couple of days ago, and she had the amazingly obscene tops that I would want. I would want to wear that in public. I want that top, actually. I do appreciate how much it lifts her tits. I'm like, wow, that's a miracle strap that's on her right now. How does this stay on? Like blue?
Starting point is 00:35:46 You're enjoying the... You're like watching an engineering marvel. We're just enjoying the way it looks. So again, green screen. There's some wires that they cropped out. They had an artist come in. But above her is a couple of marionette artists making her titties look like that.
Starting point is 00:36:03 Because there's no fucking way those 12-pound jugs are that... Oh, come on. Don't say things like that. You told me I was a dickhead for saying that Santa wasn't real as a kid. And now you're coming in here saying, oh, the gravity-defying tits.
Starting point is 00:36:20 That can't be right. That's Santa hatery as an adult. I also didn't believe in Santa as a kid. I never believed in him. You got robbed of it too? I never got that chance. Here is when
Starting point is 00:36:35 the Santa thing was ruined for me as a kid. When I was in foster care, I was with a foster parent who didn't really care about what she got for me for christmas but she did care enough to take me to a santa claus she was with an earshot that i wanted some purple boots right and then i got a train set for christmas and like santa's not real if if santa was real he would have gotten me those purple boots. No, none of that.
Starting point is 00:37:05 No more Santa Claus in my life. But I had a lot of people try to be like, oh, but Santa's real. I'm like, no, I've already been disillusioned. So he missed one gift and you shut it down? Yeah. I need to know more about this foster life thing. So were you a foster kid all the way through 18? So I was with my birth parents until i was five i went into
Starting point is 00:37:28 the foster care system for 19 months i got adopted when i was eight and then from 8 to 18 i lived with my adopted parents did they foster you first uh they fostered me for like a month. And then they're like, okay, we're going to adopt you. And I was like, okay, sure, that works. And then the whole entire process. You weren't excited? There was no teary-eyed Christmas letter with papers or something? Like Reddit?
Starting point is 00:38:01 Not really. I just was excited that they had dogs. And so I was like, I'm going to pet the dogs. I'm going to learn how to draw dogs. I'm going to hunker down and just draw dogs while they made all the paperwork to adopt me. I was just like, dogs! I get to pet the dogs! I was so distracted by the dogs that they just swept up and adopted me. Answer truthfully. Of the foster parents you had are the ones
Starting point is 00:38:26 that adopted you the ones you wanted to adopt you the most no no okay the one before i was really big fan of the my foster parents before the ones that i got adopted they were too old though then they already had like seven foster children to take care of yeah i didn't hear what you said he said that's what you want old ones like i want old ones that they can't discipline you can get away with not only that they'll be gone soon and they'll you know it'll be oh this is my house strategy yeah you just keep cashing their checks you know It's an investment strategy. Yeah, you just keep cashing their checks, you know.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Like, yeah, they were very nice to me. Like, the older lady would brush my hair, and she's like, oh, you're B-E-A-utiful. She's brushing my hair, and I was like, oh, that's nice. Oh, yay. And then the ultimate betrayal of my trust from her was when she sent me off to another foster home. And then I was like, dang it! I really wanted to be
Starting point is 00:39:27 her foster child. To be adopted by her. How does that work? Do they just put your backpack out on the stoop and it's a dog? We're like, get out of here! Get out of here! I'm telling you run down the road. Like Harry and the Hendersons?
Starting point is 00:39:43 They told me about a couple of days beforehand like okay you got a pack you got a pack you're leaving now i'm like oh that's sad where am i going well i got a new foster family and it's like meanwhile like without talking to me at all they're like talking to a um to the social worker about a month beforehand. Okay, we can't take care of her. Can you please put her into a different house? Could you do that for me, please? And then they'll do all the stuff behind the scenes. Well, I'm oblivious to it because I was seven at the time and I was only interested in
Starting point is 00:40:19 dogs and drawing dogs. Were you hard to take care of? Is that what they were saying with that. I'm, I don't know. I'm, I don't think I was, but that's just me. I mean,
Starting point is 00:40:32 as, as an autistic young and who wasn't diagnosed autistic until I was 16, I was just really quiet and also ran up the stairs like a dog and they didn't like that and i kept doing it that long to figure it out what would you say she's not she's non-verbal and she goes up the stairs like a dog you don't think autism do you no with all the foster families that i was with they're like oh i think she's autistic but they never sent me for a diagnosis like ever because they just didn't want to deal with that i guess where'd you get diagnosed was it the state the private doctor um it was a it was a psychologist that my adopted mother took me to
Starting point is 00:41:17 she looked into uh psychologists who can diagnose autistic people. Fun story. I walk into the psychologist place and I'm like, I'm not autistic. I'm not autistic. You crawled in. I was like, autistic people are weird. I don't want to be
Starting point is 00:41:41 autistic whatsoever. I go in and she's like, okay here's some tests what would you do if you were to brush your teeth and like oh well I just like mimic it like and then do the brushing of the teeth you know just like just follow her tests and she's like well you're autistic I'm like damn even
Starting point is 00:41:58 when I'm trying not to be autistic I still come off as autistic do you have any idea what you got like wrong about that? She said the way That I was mimicking The action with my Hands
Starting point is 00:42:12 Immediately you mime it Like she didn't ask you to mime it did she? No she didn't I just Mimed it It was easier for me to Describe what's happening If I'm miming it was like it was it was easier for me to describe what's happening if i'm miming it or like visualizing it and then like describing that picture versus just like coming up with words off the spot then it wouldn't be it would be uh harder for me to just come up with words
Starting point is 00:42:39 on the spot if i wasn't miming it so my son autistic. He's not as high functioning as you are, but my son is autistic. He's 20 now. And, uh, at first as parents, like, I guess we kind of pushed back against that diagnosis. We didn't want it to be true. And they'd say, all right, you know, he's autistic. Look at the way he's playing with these toys. And he has like, I don't know, 30 matchbox toys. And he would do what they called fluffing them like you put them in the air and stir them like you're trying to get the salt in your popcorn and uh it's like okay okay okay so you're supposed to tell me toys like that i guess so i'm out there teaching him how to play with matchbox cars and shit like that and then the next time we go to the doctor he's gonna pass this fucking test right so he gets the toys and he lines them all up like
Starting point is 00:43:22 there's some sort of traffic jam and they're're like, no, that's not right either. And it's like, fuck! He did the opposite of the other thing. He should be going for a ride. He'd be like, doctor, just out of curiosity, how would you play with the toys? I wouldn't.
Starting point is 00:43:40 I'm a doctor. He might be a loser for children. He's like, well, I'm a doctor, and so I would also pile them up. All of a sudden, he goes, Mr. Woodward, would you play with the toys for me? Yeah, exactly. Play with the toys. I do remember going to rooms before I went to the person who diagnosed me autistic.
Starting point is 00:44:06 person who diagnosed me autistic. There was like a transitionary period between being in the foster care and being adopted where I had to take these speech therapy lessons and they had these toys in the waiting room. And I would make these toys like perfectly symmetrical, like even when I was younger. I was like, oh oh that's definitely a tell that I was autistic because I was so focused on making them symmetrical and they couldn't physically be symmetrical because of the way it was built so it was always like free to me out and I would melt down because they can never be symmetrical I guess that's also a tell that I was autistic well but I feel like the because I used to like making things symmetrical as a kid, but I'm not autistic. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:49 I think because if someone were to knock my stuff off, I see those faces. I don't know what you're talking about. I wouldn't have a meltdown ever. If like someone came and knocked my symmetrical thing over, like what kind of meltdown were you having? Oh boy. I would just like scream and shout and be like, you're messing up my thing god dang it and
Starting point is 00:45:07 also another story someone stole uh my spot on this particular jungle gym and my reaction um was to bite their leg a bit their leg instead of be like hey can you get off the thing please i was like you stole my spot and then i grabbed their leg and bite into it that was like my first reaction how old were you at the biting age i was nine nine that's past fighting all right yeah yeah i don't think it's that bad though like i thought she was gonna say like 17 or something like was this also one of those things where like you hadn't been in your spot on the jungle gym for like a 24 since like the previous recess and then someone else, some unwitting girl sits in your spot and you go over guns blazing? I think I was actually sitting in there for I was sitting in there for the entire recess.
Starting point is 00:45:59 I got up because the teacher called me to do something. I went back outside and the person was in my spot and i was like you're in my spot chomp and i just bit their leg you draw blood no blood but i did get suspended for half a day because it was a friday i was like yes a day that's not a negative at all are you totally attached to your routines uh yeah i if i if i don't do a particular order routine like workout then like workout watch movies and then wash my face and take a shower and then get makeup ready if i don't do this by a certain time of the day then i'm just gonna be like i'm gonna fully tilted of you i'll feel terrible be like no, I'm not productive at all because
Starting point is 00:46:45 I'm not adhering to my schedule. 100%. Ah. And then I'll be prone to freaking out more because my schedule isn't being adhered to. Like I would just start yelling, crying if I'm not adhering to a schedule or if I'm, I like just start feeling weird and like the tension of not fulfilling that schedule just builds up more and more and more. And because I like to just keep all of my emotions just hidden down. Cause I don't want to like disturb people with emotion talk. And then until I blow up, I'm like,
Starting point is 00:47:22 ah, I'm having a terrible time. Ah, you know? And then, and blow up, I'm like, ah, I'm having a terrible time. Ah, you know? Yeah. And then, yeah, that's how I reacted not being on routine. At the end of the day, I have a conversation with my son, the same one for like 800 days in a row now. Yeah. Same conversation.
Starting point is 00:47:42 Yeah. It goes like this. He comes down. He says, Dad dad i watched a movie i say what movie did you watch and he gives me the name of it and i'm like huh what's the genre it was an animated was it a horror whatever because it ends with me guessing the length of the movie i ask what you know what the genre is um i might ask him the streaming platform and i ask him what year it came out because movies are getting longer and then I guess the
Starting point is 00:48:06 length of the movie and we do that every day for like 800 days in a row now. Have you ever nailed it? Oh yeah, I nailed it twice in a row. Nice. Twice in a row. Colin, that's going to be 122 minutes.
Starting point is 00:48:21 I do it with hours. Like one hour, 22 minutes, you know, and one hour, 28 minutes. Yeah do it with hours. One hour, 22 minutes. One hour, 28 minutes. I got it twice this week in a row. Damn. You got to gamble. Take advantage of this hot streak you're on. It's a fun game. You do talk with your...
Starting point is 00:48:38 No, it's not. It's like, all right, Woody. Buckle up. He needs this. I'm thinking of the two victories. i'm not thinking of the 798 defeats you know i was actually having an autistic meltdown uh right before i did the star wars video okay and i was also on four tabs of yeah i was on four tabs of acid because I was having an autistic meltdown. I was just so upset. I was like, I just need to get this energy out
Starting point is 00:49:12 and just screamed at the camera about people should not watch the new Disney Star Wars because it's such a pet peeve of mine now because there's so many YouTubers who talk about, oh, the new Star Wars sucks. But Disney knows this.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Disney knows that there is an entire economy talking about how the new Star Wars sucks, how the new everything Disney sucks, how the new Marvel sucks. And they're banking on them. And they're just perpetuating the economy. I'm like, I just want good art i want just i want good art and disney knowingly is not producing good art because they'll know if they produce bad art it'll be talked about more and so i was just like stop watching disney star wars it's all just going to be trash and sucked and I actually haven't watched the new Disney Star Wars
Starting point is 00:50:05 episode 9. I think what happens is people love Star Wars. They fall in love with Star Wars when they're age appropriate for that Star Wars. So like me, I'm so old. When Return of the Jedi came out, I was the right age for it. So I was like, Ewoks are fucking dope.
Starting point is 00:50:22 Right? They take all people on those flying motorcycles in the woods. Like, this is awesome. Yeah. You watch it as an adult, and it is the dumbest teddy bear movie that's ever been made. But I was the right age for it. Well, the second set, the original trilogy, whatever they call it. The next three.
Starting point is 00:50:39 Oh, yeah. Prequels. Thank you. You know, a lot of guys in like the rest of you, you other three, like your age group kind of maybe nailed the prequels or were somewhat close to it when you saw that. I watched that 13 years old in the fucking theater with my boy. His mom was cool enough to drop us off.
Starting point is 00:50:54 We'd been talking about the original trilogy. We'd watched that shit and we're like, alright, let's do this. What is it called? Clone Wars? It's the first one with little Anakin. Phantom Menace. Oh my god. Even as a 13 year old. what is it called clone wow it's the first one little anakin uh the phantom menace phantom menace yeah yes oh my god even as a 13 year old i the part comes so the pod racing as a kid i liked as an adult i think why are we doing this there's no reason for this to be happening as an adult i was so jaded i was like even on my first viewing i was like they're clearly
Starting point is 00:51:24 making this for the video game revenue that comes after this movie is what i was so jaded i was like even on my first viewing i was like they're clearly making this for the video game revenue that comes after this movie is what i was thinking yeah that whole movie is rather upsetting when you look at it objectively there's you could break it down scene by scene but but one of the things that annoys me is that they took anakin and left his mother to be a slave on that fucking desert planet it's like didn't you pull up in a chrome fucking spaceship like like gangster as fuck with the queen of a planet you tell me nobody here's got enough credits to buy an old white lady come on they don't want her and they and they left her there and if you don't know what happened in the second movie she gets kidnapped and raped to have almost to death by like desert wookiee people those are the way i was on star wars anakin's mother gets raped to
Starting point is 00:52:11 death i forgot about that and then he loses his shit and that's when he comes back to padme and he's like you don't understand i didn't just kill the man i killed the women and children and that's when she should have been like, Obi-Wan, it's happened. Directive 37. And his pen should have came off from the exploring college. Instead, she's like, eh, I can fix him. Ah. A troubled, sexy Jedi.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Just what I always wanted. Do you think a big problem with it, though, was that Hayden Christensen is a really bad actor? Very flat. He was too flat. You needed someone who was likable. You don't like him. So when he falls,
Starting point is 00:52:50 you don't even care for his sake. You care for everyone else's sake. Everyone else has had to deal with Darth Vader now, and you're sad and upset about that. She's lost her husband. They've lost their father. He's lost his best friend. The Jedis have lost their hope. But you don't care about hayden christiansen's character like he's just
Starting point is 00:53:09 so flat and dry like the set and he's just not a very good actor he's better now better now i don't know what he's in now i like me too star wars the same fucking thing he's come back to play the character wait really yes yeah uh and there'll be one series not like first his like helmet gets He's a character. Wait, really? Yes. In the Obi-Wan series. First, his helmet gets damaged, and there he is. Hayden Christian isn't in there, and he's in the suit. Oh, wow. Wow. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:53:35 That's cool. I think you hated the new Star Wars as well, right? And I think you guys were a little more split on it. The only Star Wars that I really enjoy, I love the animated Clone Wars stuff stuff i think it's fantastic and i love rogue one the movie is it's a standalone movie taylor it's like a prequel prequel it's just about a little ragtag group who goes and steals the plans for the death star and sends them to princess leia so that's the the the thing everyone's chasing in the very first star wars movie those plans yeah yeah um so you get to see the secret agent kind of shit that got it but spoilers at the end everybody dies the empire is like nukes the site and kills everyone but they get the message out with the plans but everybody dies
Starting point is 00:54:14 and it's like but they couldn't stop the terror cell i wouldn't be surprised if today's kids grow up get a little power when they're like 27 years old, and then they stand up for the most recent trilogy and say, hey, I liked it. That would be weird. I love when that purple haired lady just broke all the laws of like Star Wars and like, fuck you all. I'm going to fly my ship at light speed into the Empire and destroy it. Yeah, right. We could have done that all this time. Kyle, I have a question what do you think of the narration of the clone wars i tried to watch the clone wars animated series um when i was like 16 and binge watching it was so annoying
Starting point is 00:54:59 because of the narrator in the first five minutes and the last five minutes? Yeah, two things. What do you think of the narrator? First of all, when you watch the animated one, you have to go online and find the correct order to watch them in because they're out of order even on their site. But on top of that, I find the narrator annoying. For those who don't know, it's like a 1940s style.
Starting point is 00:55:22 The guy would come on and tell you what was going on in the Pacific. Our boys are making steady progress across the Pacific. Japs are falling back. The dirty yellow cowards they are. But you get that for the Clone Wars. And explicably for this futuristic Star Wars thing, they just come on. General Obi-Wan Kenobi, afraid that General Grievous would know his secret plans, hides amongst the Wookiees.
Starting point is 00:55:44 And then you're like, why is this the voice? Why don't we just hire like one of the original people to be Harrison Ford? That would be excellent. But anyway, I'm not a fan of the Star Wars either. I wish they had somebody doing a Rod Sterling impression for the narrator of the Clone Wars, because that would just be easier and on my ears. I'd be like, yes, it's like
Starting point is 00:56:06 the milky voice. Smoking a cigarette while he does it? Yeah. There should be more smoking in movies and TV. That's one of the things that bums me out about Sherlock. I know Woody's been watching BBC's Sherlock
Starting point is 00:56:23 with Cumberbatch and Martin Long or whatever his name is. Little fellow that plays Bilbo. Yeah. One of the things that irks me is he does. You know, original Sherlock, of course, has the Sherlock Holmes pipe. We even call it that. He's constantly smoking because the nicotine is fueling him up. And our Cumberbatch guy like BBC doesn't want him smoking clearly. That's clearly what it is because he's just always like covered in nicotine patches or like wanting
Starting point is 00:56:50 a cigarette and this guy would smoke. Let him smoke. I would love it if he was chained smoking cigarettes the whole time or if every time it was a different kind like a hookah one day and cigarettes the next. He smokes. Am I crazy? He smokes sometimes? Very occasionally. That's how they know. It's like a special event and they make it usually it's something he there's someone else who smokes sometimes? Very occasionally. That's how they know that there's a... It's like a special event.
Starting point is 00:57:06 Usually it's someone else who smokes and he joins them. Sure, yeah. It's great though. I didn't like that. People look cool when they're smoking cigs. Yeah. It is unfortunately true. Yeah. I swear if you want a really
Starting point is 00:57:23 cheap and easy way to make someone cool in a movie, you give them a cigarette. For sure. Not in real life. When I see someone smoking a cigarette in real life, it vibes low income to me. But when they do it in a movie, it vibes cool. What about a cigar? I'm different depending on the physique of the person doing it.
Starting point is 00:57:41 If you're a big, fat, slovenly guy smoking a cigarette i'm like low class trash but if you're like fit or if like a hot girl is smoking a cig i'm like i got the class yeah predator opening scene arnold and his boys land on the helicopter on the beach general looks through the fucking curtain there they are it's fucking dutch everybody else gets off the helicopter. We went, we pan in on Arnold who's sitting there smoking his stogie in that red, uh, um,
Starting point is 00:58:10 polo shirt, fucking huge, ripped, straining every thread of that thing. The stogie looks so cool. The stogie looks so fucking cool. It doesn't matter how much you love cigars in real life. When I see anybody with a cigar, it vibes to me like a pretender of some sort.
Starting point is 00:58:30 Like a guy who's putting on a show. Like, oh, look at me. I'm a cigar guy. Shut the fuck up. No, you're not. I've never enjoyed a cigar. I mean, I've had people give me cigars at live shows. And like, here's a cigar, and then I take a puff.
Starting point is 00:58:47 I'm like, why do people enjoy this? I don't understand. I feel the need to inhale the smoke. Apparently you're not supposed to inhale the smoke on the cigar. No, you're not. What happens if you inhale the smoke of a cigar? It's just a lot of nicotine. Right? Isn't that why?
Starting point is 00:59:03 You'll probably get sick to your stomach yeah it's too much nicotine it's too harsh as well if you don't inhale it what's the point the nicotine gives you um a rush it's like a it's a it's a lot it's like a head rush it's uh and and a cigar like that is like a big head rush those things are wrapped in um um tobacco tobacco leaves and the whole fucking thing so like when you're smoking a good cigar and you're just puffing it into your mouth you're absorbing it sublingually like you know into your mouth and getting that nicotine hit like that arnold's made the case that it's you know healthier obviously i think he finally quit maybe i don't remember it stains your mouth with the flavor of
Starting point is 00:59:41 the cigar for like 30 hours wow like that's your not, and it's not even like a good taste. Because like every time I've smoked a cigar, it's like with my dad on some golf trip or something. And he like breaks out cigars and I don't want to feel left out. And then I smoke it and it takes fucking forever to smoke it. And you get like a third of the way in. You're like, my God, how much longer is this going to take? And then all the food you eat for like the next 30 hours tastes different. It's a filthy habit.
Starting point is 01:00:10 Just smoke cigarettes like an adult. Yeah, I don't like it either. I'd rather just smoke a cigarette and get a nicotine rush. I've never smoked a cigarette. Never? Never. Plan to start? No.
Starting point is 01:00:20 Okay. Okay. When I was two years old, I saw my birth father smoking cigarettes. I never really liked the smell of them. I didn't like that he did it, and I didn't like that he smelled like cigarettes. So I made a pact with myself. I'm never going to touch a cigarette, and I haven't since then. Nice. You're on a good streak. A lifelong streak. nice you're on a good streak a lifelong streak yeah it's pretty it's uh i just i mean i know there's different tastes of cigarettes but i just don't like the smell of them i mean i if i want nicotine i prefer a vape but uh also vapes are weird i have a weird relationship with vapes if i if i picked up a vape i'm like oh i like the head rush initially and then i kept up a vape, I'm like, oh, I like the head rush initially. And then I kept smoking the vape. Then the head rush, whenever I would hit it, would be less and less. And it's like, oh, no, I feel a dependence.
Starting point is 01:01:12 I don't want to be dependent on this. And then I just quit. That's a good habit to have. You start consciously noticing that you're getting addicted to it and you cut it out. It's easy to not do that i'll say it's easy to just keep being like oh nicotine i want this i want it how many things though i was talking to someone about trt the other day um that's testosterone replacement therapy for ferment um and uh and they're like yeah but then you're dependent on that i'm like dude how many things are we dependent on that we have to do every day? So many.
Starting point is 01:01:48 You don't have to keep getting those contacts in the mail. If those contacts stop coming, it's a problem. Lots of people have lots of things. I wouldn't say I'm addicted to corrective eyewear. I think you'd get
Starting point is 01:02:04 headaches without it. You're dependent upon them. You're dependent upon them, though. Do you get headaches if you don't drink caffeine? No, I do not. I don't either, but I know people that do. I feel like you have to drink a lot of caffeine to get to that point.
Starting point is 01:02:18 If I drink coffee for, let's say, five days straight and then I stop drinking coffee, I will get a headache maybe four hours and then it will go away so i do get those headaches i totally get that um is there is there like another substance that you get a headache just a regular headache if you get rid of them like other than water yeah skipping water will fuck you up yeah with yeah lots of withdrawals from a lot of things give you headaches yeah i didn't i didn't was
Starting point is 01:02:51 apparently one of the rougher withdrawals nicotine yeah you can die from alcohol withdrawals and it's one of the interesting things i bet you both know this uh they keep like miller light at the at the pharmacy locked up at the hospital they've've got cans of beer in there. So if someone comes in and they're going through DTs and they're dying, there's nothing in a syringe to fix this. There's no IV bag to hang. Get that man a Miller light. It's Miller time. I'd love to see some guy
Starting point is 01:03:15 in the emergency room turn their nose up at Bud Light. Be like, what am I, fag? What am I, fag? I'd rather die. He's shaking his ass off i think alcohol and benzodiazepines are the only things that you can die in withdrawal from like i i know like heroin is a horrible thing to withdraw but i don't think it can kill you i got a thing woody you're philadelphia so so i've been
Starting point is 01:03:45 watching um the guy from channel 5 news um remember he had that sex assault allegation a while back so he really toned things down he's all gas no break he broke up broke off and did channel 5 news um he does youtube videos recently where he goes to like the scummiest places in america and kind of gets the nitty-gritty on the drug use and the and the street crime. He was in San Fran, um, for a while. And Oh my God, it's wild out there. I don't know what you're talking about, but I have a question. Did he go to Kensington and Arlington? I don't know where those places specifically, but I'm only five minutes in, I had to come, like I had to go shower and like do some shit and then come here, but I'm saving it for it's Andrew Callahan. i think maybe it's his name yes anyway thank you uh and uh
Starting point is 01:04:30 man five or ten minutes into the philadelphia episode so trank is the thing there it's uh like xylosine or something what it is is they're adding in this animal tranquilizer that's used on everything from mice to horses it's like the go-to, I guess, into whatever drugs they were all already doing. And it's called Trank. But the thing about that xylosine or whatever is something about the way it constricts veins or blood vessels. It ends up leading up to a lot of like fasciitis, like rotting flesh. And like they had these ulcers opened opened oozy wounds on their shins and calves and stuff. And also,
Starting point is 01:05:07 when they're on the drug, like when they're having fun, they would say, they look like zombies, like bent backwards, like in weird contorted ways. It's impressive that they can hold that position. It's like yoga. Like the heroin stances?
Starting point is 01:05:23 Like those weird, almost falling over? Yeah, so apparently oh they showed some statistics about like apparently a large percentage of the overdose deaths have had trank you know in in the mixture because it's that's it's like a cocktail i guess of that xylosine and uh maybe heroin and maybe even some fentanyl that they're shooting up. And Jesus, they all had dirty needles. The one guy had a needle like behind his ear. You know how you throw like a pencil or a pencil.
Starting point is 01:05:52 Oh, no cap, no cap on it. Ooh, that's gotta be pokey. Yes, yes, yes, it's pokey.
Starting point is 01:06:00 And he's asking this one guy's got stores all over his face. That part of Philadelphia is underrated underrated right everyone knows about uh detroit a lot of people know about bad parts of san fran or st louis but the worst parts of philadelphia rank with anywhere on the planet like i had a friend who was friends with a cop and he was like where's the worst place in philadelphia and he's like kNA the corner of Kensington and Arlington the prostitutes there will do things for less than five dollars whoa what a fucking metric
Starting point is 01:06:31 less than five dollars inflation proof how much is your fans Luke starting prices 10 at the lowest tier some self respect you know Starting price is $10 at the lowest tier. Some self-respect. You know, I actually stayed in...
Starting point is 01:06:49 You won't find her on KNA. No. I stayed in a really terrible place in Philly because I don't know Philly. And so there was the Who Are These Podcasts? The Dick Show live show there. And I was like, okay, well, I'm just going to pick an Airbnb. And I ended up picking an Airbnb in the top five. It was like number five on the highest crime in Philly.
Starting point is 01:07:20 And I was like, oh, no. Okay, so here's how the airbnb was three separate locks a lock on the door to get into the airbnb and then a lock it to get to the floor where the airbnb was and then a lock to get into the actual airbnb and there was a camera within the living room of the Airbnb. And I was like, this is insane. There were cameras in every room. I'm sure there was. Yeah, that's just the one you saw.
Starting point is 01:07:53 Yeah. That one's for wide shots. Yeah. Establishing frames and stuff. And it was pretty ridiculous. There was just people jaywalking across the street all the time there's a lot of people who are it seemed like they were bugging out like they would they'd be like acting pretty erratically i was a little bit scared but
Starting point is 01:08:14 uh atlanta is more violent you should be yeah like yeah sometimes i'll get off i'm i'm bad about missing my exit like i'll do it a lot um and driving mach one when this happens i go pretty fast they don't pull you over for speeding in atlanta and i'm past my court so now it's like you're gonna write me a ticket i'll pay it i haven't had one in 12 years you'll probably let me slide um so i'll drive like 100 pretty regularly like that's kind of my cruising speed and never been pulled over that's insane those are motorcycle rules it's kind of like i promise you like if you're on if you're on 285 it's a problem to pull someone over on that thing there's nowhere to go you get on that shoulder yeah hop out of your car officer and and indiana jones side straddle uh between the the hundred
Starting point is 01:09:02 mile per hour traffic because everybody's doing it in the fast lane. Anyway, I missed my... And I went down a scary fucking place. But it was more like violent than druggy. You know, like it was more like... I saw a lot of people on stoops with liquor bottles out in public. And I saw a lot of like... There was a lot of yelling in general.
Starting point is 01:09:21 It was loud there. You ever go to a place and like you're just at a gas station making a U-turn it's like why is everyone shouting uh i have that experience no weed in the air with la i went i was i was in a part of uh downtown la trying to get gas i pull into this gas station and there's just like like 10 people just loitering there and there's a couple having an argument and like um oh i'm almost out of gas i don't want to stop here because i don't want to deal with the people yelling like i have noise sensitivity issues so if i were to be next to a person yelling i just start freaking out and and just start stemming and then people would be like,
Starting point is 01:10:05 what are you doing, lady? Also, my first ever experience being catcalled was in the same place in Philly that I stayed in that Airbnb. What was his line? What was his go-to? It was just three honks
Starting point is 01:10:21 in the car. That's respectful. He just wanted you to get out of the street. Were you standing in the road when this happened? I was on the sidewalk. So I crossed the street and then when I
Starting point is 01:10:37 was on the other side of the sidewalk just going to my car, he honked. Then he was crossing the street. When he was crossing the street just going forward and I was going towards to my car he honked then he was crossing the street when he was crossing the street just going forward and i was going towards my car he honked again and then he honked a third time i think he shouted like hey mama you look good you look fine like towards me on the around like the third honk i was like i'm just going to ignore it i have other things to do i'm not here as part of you feeling like, yeah, I am killing it today.
Starting point is 01:11:07 Yeah. I was like, huh. I was just thinking to myself, this is the only time I've ever been cat called. There's so many people. There's so many people who say it's such a big issue that people online say it's such a big issue with them. But personally, it's only a big issue with them but personally it's only happened to me once so i don't know i don't know how what type of people do you go out a lot though um not often but when i'm in the big city i i dress up i dress real
Starting point is 01:11:40 sexy i'm in my ass is hanging out the only thing that's obstructing my ass from the real world is just some uh lime green fishnets and that's just how i'm looking so i mean i understand people honking cat calling me i expect that you really can't say much you're walking around in lime green fishnets they're honking at you and you're like, what about how I'm dressed tells you that's the kind of attention I'm looking for. Her shirt says honk if you love titties. It's like, I'm wearing stuff like that. And it was like the only time where I've been catcalled.
Starting point is 01:12:19 I'm like, huh, maybe I'm not going out enough. Like, I only go out whenever i'm doing like big events like if there's like a live show and i go to the city and i walk around also i walk around in groups too so that also helps it's probably a good idea safety yeah definitely you look tiny like somebody can like snap you up and run away with you aren't you five'7"? I am 5'7". I am fiercer than I look. I will bite. I will kick. I have four years of taekwondo training underneath my belt,
Starting point is 01:12:51 so I know how to kick, and I know how the best place to punch someone is in their penis. There you go. Unless they're into cock and ball torture, and they hear a couple of them. That's still the best place. Just in case I think you stick with the group plan. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:11 You still do Taekwondo? Or you're out of practice? I'm out of practice. I did Taekwondo from first and second grade and then seventh through ninth grade. That was when I did Taekwondo from first and second grade and then seventh through ninth grade. That was when I did Taekwondo. I still know the basic fundamental stuff like stance and the kicks because I've
Starting point is 01:13:36 done it so many times. I just know how to do it intuitively. What would happen if a man tried to pin you down? Would he be in deep trouble, you think? Yes. I'm slippery. I would flail my arms around. A windmill, right, right.
Starting point is 01:13:53 I would be like, woo! That's often seen in the UFC. You know your taekwondo well. I have a daughter, and it's a balancing act. We better get out of here. This bitch is trained. You want to, on one hand, let them know they're a strong woman who has, I don't know, worth and strength. Don't back down.
Starting point is 01:14:21 On the other hand, don't really do that. That's not a good plan. Bring a gun. If he can, run. If he can, run. Do you have a gun? I don't have a gun, no. Aren't you in LA? No, I'm in Kentucky.
Starting point is 01:14:39 You're the only one without a gun. You're in a huge area. Can't you get a mail-in concealed carry in kentucky constitutional carry just oh my god you know right there's really no concealing in that
Starting point is 01:14:54 outfit although carry although craft who allure craft is with a gun with a fun fun cosplay idea actually um but okay my my only exposure to like actual firing a gun because i don't have much experience firing guns but i did have uh my friend eric wong who is a gun instructor teach me how to fire a gun and i have a very fun story about this so i was being taught like okay you got you have the proper gun stuff okay you gotta hold down fire when you're
Starting point is 01:15:32 ready and when you said fire i fired the gun before he finished the sentence i said i just fired the gun he was like oh i wasn't finished with my sentence. Premature detonation. That happens to first timers. Yeah, I guess I was just really excited to fire the gun. But that taught me a lesson to not act immediately when I'm being told to act. Did you shoot anyone? I did not shoot anyone, luckily.
Starting point is 01:16:02 He was out of the way. Not that time. You should get a gun. I should get a gun. I don't know much about guns, though. I've only shot... What's to know? Kyle's a subject matter expert. Yeah, but you've seen so many movies.
Starting point is 01:16:17 Kyle, what gun would you put her in? I wouldn't. The phrasing was stupid. A trained young lady, I would want her to have a compact clock that fits her hand right and holds so many bullets that it's just a
Starting point is 01:16:35 noise-making machine forever. One of those little compact clocks. I don't know the model numbers anymore. They introduce one every two or three years, and I don't keep up with it, obviously. One of the little ones that holds a bunch of bullets. Compact Glock. Right back there.
Starting point is 01:16:51 Subcompact, even. But you want a bunch of bullets. That's the main thing. Lots of bullets. Nine mil, maybe? Because you're going to miss a lot. Yeah. You just need to hit a couple times. Or just keep making noise. If you're still shooting... I remember those Derringer pistols,
Starting point is 01:17:07 those little breakdown things that you put two bullets in. I was like, what are you doing with that? I have one in each sock. What if you go bang, bang, and now you're out, and they just start clubbing you to death because you tried to kill them, or you wounded them with that piece of shit? I want so many bullets.
Starting point is 01:17:22 If you are in a self-defense gun situation though mint you can't be firing up in the air or you'll end up like boogie you got to shoot to kill i yeah if i'm pointing a gun at somebody it means i'm intentionally trying to kill them that's the only reason to shoot a gun at some point a gun at someone yeah that's my intent sometimes you fire one a fifth grade playground just to just to spook frank castle sometimes you just want to scare into a fifth grade playground just to spook Frank Castle. Sometimes you just want to let them know you're serious. So in that case, you pointed out. Would I hit them with the back of the gun first before shooting at them?
Starting point is 01:17:57 Every time. See, that's called counting coup. In Native American tribes, that was one of the things you had to do to become a Great Plains chief. Had to count coup upon your enemy, ride up on him, slap the shit out of him, hit him with a coup stick. Those coup sticks are neat. I don't know what a coup stick is. It's sort of this long stick on the end. It's bulbous, usually wrapped in leather.
Starting point is 01:18:22 Like a shillelagh. That's not a rock in the end of it? Like a shillelagh, a Native American shillelagh, thank you. I don't know what a shillelagh is. It could be a rock or some sort of implement. Irish people used to fight with. Just like a hardened piece of wood.
Starting point is 01:18:35 And gangs of New York. Zach, I'll pull up a picture. Oh, here we go. That's a perfect weapon, actually. you can fuck somebody up with that thing i like how in your scenario mint you seem like the primary aggressor wanting to hit someone with your gun before you threaten them yeah so maybe maybe are you mugging someone in this scenario is that what that goes for yeah that's the ultimate benefit you can you can rob any size man that's not how i imagined it though
Starting point is 01:19:13 that's not what i imagined either like a stick with a rock strapped in the in the movies they have it exactly in the movies i i see this stick and on the end like i said there's it's very ceremonial feathers and such it's decorated but on the end, like I said, it's very ceremonial, feathers and such. It's decorated, but on the end, there's a hard, bulbous part that seems to be part... You know, the stick was shaped like that to kind of cup something, but also there's been like a... Yeah, something more like that.
Starting point is 01:19:36 They ride along and they sort of do like an uppercut sort of whip, like slap the guy with it. That's Counting Coup. I might have seen that in 1883. There was a guy who, uh, did the, the fucking, I don't remember what the other things you have to do to become a great
Starting point is 01:19:49 plains chief or a great plains warrior or whatever. Uh, it was, but he did them in world war two. He, uh, he, he stole some horses from the Germans.
Starting point is 01:19:57 Cause that, that's one of them. You got to steal your enemy's horses. So he found like some German horses and ripped them off. Uh, apparently he wrote up and killed, uh, counted coup on a German, slapped the shit out of him, and rode away. Dude, if I were a soldier in war, in World War II, World War I, any kind of war where there's no chance my feats were being recorded, I am lying my ass off about what I achieve.
Starting point is 01:20:22 It's like, Taylor, where'd you go? And I'm not going to tell him I was having MRE diarrhea just out of sight behind a tree. I'm going to cover myself in my own blood and be like, don't even go over there because there's so many dead krauts in the fucking place.
Starting point is 01:20:37 He was such a coward, he got a little poop on me. Have you? And look, he's got his vomit all over my shirt because he was so scared. i really fucked him up i am i really fucked him up like all right we're gonna go confirm your kills i'm like don't even worry about it i don't i'm not in it for the accolades boys i'm in it for the discounts at rental car companies for the next 70 years have you uh have you ever seen legends of the fall no it's brad pitt movie uh
Starting point is 01:21:06 anthony hopkins is and a couple other people are in it too but basically it's right around the world war one time and this rich ass white family lives on their huge estate um out in like montana or something and the boy gets in his head that he's gonna go fight in world war one for freedom or whatever and uh but he's kind of the bitch made brother so brad pitt who was kind of halfway raised by uh like an indian chief is like gonna go to world war one to like look after homeboy right away the the bitch made brother gets like mustard gassed and then tangled in the wire and he's like blind he's like help help and the germans like machine gun him up well brad pitt loses his shit and he channels all that that like savage native american shit that is uh the other guy
Starting point is 01:21:50 taught him and he starts sneaking around at night and he jumps into the foxholes and kills germans with his with his hatchet and he's scalping them and cutting their hearts out and shit it's crazy he rides back into camp all like covered in blood with german scalps and they send him home right away dude no one covers their their face and like the blood of their enemies post aid scare oh it wasn't no it was the blood of his brother because he couldn't get his brother's body home so he cut his brother's heart out and he's holding the heart he's holding brad pitt's holding this heart and he's just having a meltdown looking at it. And he takes the blood and rubs it all over his face.
Starting point is 01:22:28 That's upsetting. Wow. If someone tried to comfort me, they're like, your brother was killed in the battle, but here's his heart. Brad Pitt cut it out. What's wrong with you? Get out of here. He mailed it home. He mailed it home. He's like, sorry, Dad. I couldn't get Billy out, but
Starting point is 01:22:44 here's his heart. So You can bury it next to Sarah or whatever the fuck. Brad Pitt goes hard in the paint in that movie. That sounds like an intense movie. It's more of a love story. What? It's a big, long epic. There's a girl who's the love interest of both
Starting point is 01:23:00 Bitch Made Kid and Brad Pitt at one point. This whole love triangle. It's a long ass uh uh movie but the world how long is it fucking two and a half hours probably oh wow nice and long it seems like modern movies are getting longer and longer that i agree with they are and it's not entirely justified that murder of the flower moon killer of the flower killers of the flower moon that movie was so much long and it was an hour longer than it needed to be an entire hour like it was there was a a scene i was watching i was my brother and i were watching it and like this scene came up for
Starting point is 01:23:40 like a minute like probably 80 seconds that just showed us still like slowly zooming in through a foggy window showing a farm burning and this is this is two hours and 10 minutes into the film and you're like dude this is you're spitting in my face right now scorsese you know what you're telling me with this scene you're telling me my time's worthless every scene in the movie should be adding to the story, progressing the plot. It should mean a thing. You shouldn't get there and be... So, no, maybe he had a purpose for that. I haven't seen the movie.
Starting point is 01:24:14 But knowing Scorsese in his later years, Taylor, I would bet on you and say that, man, he probably could have cut five seconds of that eight-second hold on the fire away. And they'd have still understood that the cabin was on fire, and this was a big deal. Easily. Yeah, we're not watching the departed anymore from him. He needs to hang him up. The departed is such a gem. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:24:35 Yeah, the departed was great. Killers of the Flower Moon. Dude, when they blow Homeboy's head off in the elevator, like three-quarters of the way through, it's just like, whoa, you can't kill DiCaprio. That was great. It was out of nowhere i uh i do have an opinion on uh killers of the flower moon i don't want to spoil it too much but i will say this there is no ending it's just him coming up and this is how it would have ended just it felt like okay so you give me a long ass movie and you're not even going to finish it
Starting point is 01:25:06 you're just going to tell me what happens at the end with a like a jazz band playing behind you this was such a waste of time of a movie that's how incredible it was watching mostly like great movies or are you watching silly movies too i guess you said Power Rangers. That answers that. I'm watching a healthy mix, I would say. Some great movies. Some movies that a lot of people have already seen that I haven't seen like Robocop.
Starting point is 01:25:37 Some classic movies but also some really goofy movies. A movie that I watched recently. Poultry Geist. Have you heard watched recently, Poultry Geist. Have you heard of that? Poultry Geist? Poultry Geist. I thought you said it incorrectly
Starting point is 01:25:54 and I was going to let it slide. Not to embarrass her. Poultry Geist? Is that like an anti-meat eating thing? Poultry Geist, Night of the Chicken Dead is what its full title is. It's so weird. It's so goofy.
Starting point is 01:26:12 It starts off funny and then it goes into really gross both gore and body humor territory. I'm not a big fan of horror. I don't like body humor at all. humor territory i'm like uh you want to recognize the kind of movie my son would watch i am like instinctively asking you what year it came out and guessing how long it is body horror or body
Starting point is 01:26:32 humor i don't like body humor or oh i i don't like fart jokes but i equally don't like when the horror is oh no our skin's falling out like cabin fever where they get that like skin melty disease i'm not into that i'm'm not scared. I'm just annoyed. It's more intense than fart humor. A very pivotal moment is there's this fat guy who eats this pulsating egg,
Starting point is 01:26:56 and in order for this egg to come out of this guy's body, this guy just shits everywhere. I hate that. I'm like, I wish I didn't see this at all. It showed him shitting everywhere? Yes hate that and i'm like oh i wish i didn't see this it showed him shitting everywhere yes it did it showed him just that can be on the cutting room i don't even like those parts of jackass where danger aaron or whoever poops i always i skip it too i'm like i'm i know what happens here i know what happens i don't need to see it to know what happens here
Starting point is 01:27:24 i've seen this little model bathroom before and i know what's about. I know what happens. I don't need to see it to know what happens here. I've seen this little model bathroom before, and I know what's about to cover the entire little fake porcelain toilet. Is this a disgusting turd? Yeah. I don't like movies like that. What's that guy's name? Cronenberg? Is that right?
Starting point is 01:27:38 Yeah. Who does the crazy body horror? You don't mind that? I've only seen The Fly. i've only seen the fly i've only seen the fly i was it's both gross and also incredibly impressive with the practical effects i'm like wow this is his latest movie is his latest movie i think it's either him or his son's movie they they both direct weird shit but crimes of the future um withiggo Mortensen was so weird. It was just odd.
Starting point is 01:28:08 It wasn't great, but it was well made. And it was this whole new futuristic dystopian world where the performance art was like open, like vivisection, essentially. So Viggo Mortensen's deal is he gets dissected, opened up, and his organs. Oh, that's the thing. He's mutated in such a way that he grows these mutated extra organs in his body cavity. And his female sexy partner cuts him open and removes them for this audience of rich snobs. And it's really weird because they build upon the idea of the sort of why he's mutating,
Starting point is 01:28:48 why people are mutating. It's pollution, of course. And a few other interesting concepts. Did you get the feeling watching it that it was kind of like a smell your own farts kind of movie? Like it was really up its own ass with
Starting point is 01:29:03 the artsy fartsy bits of it. There was nothing ever at stake. It was gross for the sake of grossness. I thought it was dumb. I thought there were some sexy parts, honestly, like, like there was,
Starting point is 01:29:13 um, what's the, the chick Kristen Stewart is in it. And she's like, he's got this weird biomechanical chair that looks like a rib cage with legs that sort of feeds him. It jiggles his body in such a way that it helps him digest.
Starting point is 01:29:28 He's so mutated, this thing needs to massage his midsection and jiggle him about. The mechanism by which it moves looks like the way... Remember Pee Wee's Playhouse, the mailbox? It kind of saunters in, sticks in.
Starting point is 01:29:43 It looked ridiculous. Kristen Stewart shows up and she's wanting to like masturbate in this chair. She's wanting to like have sex with them on the chair. Like the chair, it's this, it's this extravagant luxury that she's like, wait, she's there to repair something. She works for the company that makes them. She works for the company that makes them. She's like, you've got an L500 auto digester chair
Starting point is 01:30:07 and he's got all these gadgets because he's rich. It's a really fucking weird movie. I want Woody to watch this movie because I know more than I've ever done anything in the world that he would be on my side that it sucks. I thought it was bad too. After it was over, I was like... I don't know. I'm kind of interested.
Starting point is 01:30:23 Kristen Stewart does what? I'm pretty sure she gets naked. Maybe she does. I don't remember. I think she lezes out with the other repair lady. How is this a bad movie? She's eating her butthole in the chair. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:30:38 Oh, damn it. I guess I really wasn't paying attention. There was analingus. What the... Personally, I am more I guess I really wasn't paying attention like there was analingus what the personally I am more into movies like Yo Jimbo and Doctor Strangelove I'm not really into gore that much
Starting point is 01:30:54 but I really do like movies where there's a heavy emphasis on satire like satire like Doctor Strangelove have you seen that movie uh yeah i was i i i begged you to watch it and then had it put on the plex for you about a month and a half ago and you laughed in my face like usual and then i watched it i'm joking i watched it just
Starting point is 01:31:18 give me a refresher he didn't watch it what do you what do you think of george what do you think of george c scott's performance you know he's know i thought it left a lot i love him in patent but but man as the as the general he was incredible right he's more of a side character for me i don't put that much stock into his performance who is the guy there was a guy who i forget his name but he um was both um a military guy and he's also the german doctor in the wheelchair and he was doing both performances so well and there's a guy who reminds me of Tim Robinson actually which is why I think I like the movie so much. There's a guy who just he looks like him and he acts like him
Starting point is 01:32:01 I'm like what is going on? This is from the 60s how did tim robinson get here he's the uh i think you should leave guy right yes he is okay i've seen someone else seen goon those movies there's two of them the hockey movies yes i've watched i've seen both the hockey movies goon i don't know i think i've seen the second one the first one's really good i think so the first one is one of those movies that when it came out, it got reviews where people were like, you know, this movie with its cast of retards is actually good. Check this out.
Starting point is 01:32:34 I'm not going to win any awards. It's not Slapshot, but it's good. I like it more. I like it more than Slapshot. The second movie, I thought, took the good elements of the first movie, leaned on him too hard to where it was a little weird. Okay. Guy retires,
Starting point is 01:32:52 works at an insurance company. He's no longer a hockey player, and he's kind of struggling to find happiness. And his mentor auto-asphyxiate masturbates. He hangs himself while also jerking off in the... and i was just like i don't know they're pushing it a little hard like the whole like raunchy there's one guy who curses
Starting point is 01:33:13 so much it's like a profanity tourette's and he can't say three words without one of them being bad i just remember that one scene in the first one being very funny where the goon like has to start rooming with the skill player and he's like it's like there's one rule in the first one being very funny where the goon has to start rooming with the skill player. He's like, there's one rule in this place. Don't touch my fucking Percocets. Then that was it. He was just a Perc addict.
Starting point is 01:33:36 There's only one rule. Don't touch my fucking Percocets. We won't have a problem. It was a good movie. I really like it. What kind of comedy movies do you like man or are you not big on um it really it really is hit or miss with me when there's a movie that's labeled itself as comedy um i like comedy movies that are more satirical and uh comment on like society how did you like robocop then because that's you
Starting point is 01:34:08 that's what that is huh i liked robocop i felt like robocop was very very actiony like i felt like it was more actiony than comedy in some uh some aspects oh for sure um i really like the interspliced uh dystopian tv commercials there's uh they're ridiculous um i like the uh the jesus allegory so you've got peter weller's character getting crucified um being resurrected from the dead and then walking on the water uh at the end before self-realizing and becoming um murphy again just RoboCop. But the satirical part of it, of like big corporate America taking over was super ahead of its time. I think because you have global tech or whatever it's called. I'm spacing right now.
Starting point is 01:34:57 Like they privatize the police force. They take over Detroit. I mean, they predicted the fall of Detroit, you know, Detroit going bankrupt and everything, except in this world, it allows this corporation to just buy the city, tear the city down and like put in their new high rises or whatever. But to do that, they first privatized the police force to drive crime sky high so that, you know, every property values diminished and
Starting point is 01:35:19 they could buy everything. I love that one. But Paulul verhoeven's really i love the blanks um starship troopers is the other one that i would recommend if you're if you're on a kick like that actually speaking of movies what movie would you recommend me watch starship troopers because that's also verhoeven um so Starship Troopers, based on this novel, I don't know if there are multiples of them, but the whole thing, some people see it as a dumb action movie, and you can watch it for that. But the point is that we are looking at a Nazi future
Starting point is 01:35:58 where not only has there clearly been some racial purification of South America, because we're in Buenos Aires and everybody's white. But also the military and veterans are in control of society. It's a totalitarian, fascist, military-driven government, world government. And it's interspliced with those same sort of ads, but they're from the military that you're learning about the enemy and the enemy is the bugs the alien bugs that we got to go we got to go to their planet and kill them because they're trying to get us and it's like but they don't have spaceships out of this no no no they're after us they they 9-11 us and they even have like a false flag 9-11 in the movie and we've got to go get them. It's like the real 9-11.
Starting point is 01:36:46 I think it was before 9-11. They predicted 9-11. They did. Have you seen those pictures they'll use sometimes? They'll be like, the Simpsons predicted this. And it's like, I get sometimes these can be fun, but don't include the 50 million stretch examples.
Starting point is 01:37:04 Just include the good ones. It'll be a little more compelling. You weaken your good cases when you add the 50 million stretch examples. Just include the good ones. It'll be a little more compelling. You weaken your good cases when you add the bad ones. Exactly. And it's like they've made 800 episodes. You've never heard of... They probably have a lower right ratio than fucking Alex Jones.
Starting point is 01:37:16 Just going on ratios. Because at least Alex Jones is right about frogs and shit. Have you ever seen Triumph of Will or heard of it? It's the Nazi propaganda film. I have not heard of it. All right it? It's the Nazi propaganda film. I have not heard of it. All right. So it's a Nazi propaganda film. So the only thing to...
Starting point is 01:37:32 You guys don't watch it every Christmas? But what you can take from it is you can see the parallels between that and Starship Troopers. It's like a shot. There are some shots that are just taken from that nazi propaganda film to really hammer home if you've seen the nazi propaganda film like the formations what is it called uh triumph of will triumph of will uh every actor in there that's you know it's it's about the nazi military it's like a propaganda film but they're all like gorgeous hollywood looking actors like blonde hair blue eyes for every act and they do that as well in Starship Troopers.
Starting point is 01:38:05 So it's a it's a really satirical, fun movie. Yeah, I can see the the cover of this movie, Triumph of the Will. They did not soft sell it. This is an intense looking cover. Yeah, they're all angular, jawed German man. A lot of right angles. Yeah. The eagle. That's a good look uh and also if you want a silly one a samurai cop is so bad it's good uh there's a they they tried to do a
Starting point is 01:38:35 lethal weapon ripoff you know like old black surly cop young hip white cop with long hair they just and it's so bad it's good like it's it's really it's terribly acted it was written by a non-english speaker and he wouldn't let them change the delivery of the lines so you can imagine what that's like when they have to deliver these long monologues listen here you son of a bitch you come here to my american country and try to push your crime crime and drugs on my people no more will i allow the room vibes and everybody's acting like it's serious but the best part for me little detail is they wrapped shooting and homeboy cut his hair he did have this long ass like hair well we need to come back so they put this wig on him
Starting point is 01:39:25 that looks so bad uh but samurai cops free somewhere i promise and it's it's kind of known as one of the so bad it's good movies like one of it's that it's the room uh that's the other one that's you know the worst movie ever yeah and then it's troll two troll two is the one where the kid like pisses on the dinner like like they're it's it's it's Troll 2 Troll 2 is the one where the kid like pisses on the dinner like it's fucking Have you ever actually watched all of the room? I have watched all of it. None of it.
Starting point is 01:39:54 It's really difficult like it's a movie that when you watch it you know that it's like the worst tier acting ever that one dude like oh hi mark like just like not not emphasizing things correctly he's like oh do you want to go to the roof and we can throw the football like just like weird cadences and shit but if you if it was like a movie that you didn't have the backstory on and you just started watching it it could fool you for like 20 minutes into thinking that it's like primer where you'd be
Starting point is 01:40:26 watching everything like every iota of every frame has a meaning and something needs to be predicted before you realize that like wait a minute this guy was playing a different character two scenes ago this is a different man now they expect me to believe that adam is now alan did they forget the names and then his own voice is dubbed in over the entire film and so you can see him like not quite meshing up like he's his laughs don't match up like oh mark you are so silly ha ha ha but like in the audio he laughs more than that it doesn't so, it's good. I don't usually say that about movies. Usually I think bad movies are bad. The Room is one that I enjoyed watching.
Starting point is 01:41:10 Maybe it's the fucking sick sexy. When they play, they go to the roof at one point. It's like, hey, Chris, let's go to the roof. We can chat it out. And then they go up there and they're standing three feet from each other. And they're both in there and they're like standing three feet from each other and they're
Starting point is 01:41:26 both in frame and they're throwing the football maybe maybe 30 inches to and fro with each other because you know it said throw football back and forth back and forth and then like the background there's no movement it's just a still of a foggy day in san francisco or some shit like there's it's a map yeah it's so bad it's good and i like a foggy day in san francisco or some shit like there's it's a map yeah it's so bad it's good and i like those so bad they're good movies sometimes the thing is like they can't try to have made it bad they can't be like get a load of this horror movie we're gonna make so bad people are gonna joke about it like it needs to be a sincere attempt that falls flat yeah i promise you samurai cop is that in spades it's it's so bad i watched
Starting point is 01:42:08 it uh when we were in colorado with dirty and we were just dying laughing some of the there's this one scene where like the nurse says his dick's not big enough she asked him if they cut off too much when he got circumcised and they're like they're like going back and forth and there's no reason for this raunchy conversation to even happen. They're just in a hallway. He's a cop and she's a nurse. Then they cut to the black guy. It's a meme you've probably seen. He goes...
Starting point is 01:42:32 He's like black guy with a mustache. He's like... Getting spicy in here. Exactly. As far as movie recommendations, have you seen Lord of the Rings? Which one? The whole gaggle. All three.
Starting point is 01:42:47 I've only seen the first one. Then I recommend you watch the second and the third one. That's about it for me as far as movie recommendations. You have to watch Lord of the Rings. The rest of the way. No, don't listen to him. Is it Walking Stimulator?
Starting point is 01:43:04 It's the best movie series of all time, and I've seen dozens of films. It's far and away the best. Are there any other walking films you enjoy, Taylor? All three Lord of the Rings. Yeah, but you need the walking to show how far it is.
Starting point is 01:43:21 Mordor's not a hop, skip, and a jump. It was quite a trek. You can't simply walk there, I'm told. Yeah, Mordor, you can't just skip and a jump. It was quite a trip. We walk there. I'm told. Yeah. You can't just, you know, skip in there. You got to do someone showed a map the other day, like super. Of course, they use the United States to compare and show Frodo's journey. But it seemed like he walked from like South Georgia to like up to Missouri, where Taylor is, and then hung a right and went all the way to Kentucky.
Starting point is 01:43:43 It was a big long thing but it didn't take them years and years the crazy thing about that that they gloss over thankfully in the movie is get they find the ring gandalf like tells frodo he's like keep it secret keep it safe and then he goes to like menace tirith right isn't he gone 18 years before he comes back and they like follow up on the ring yeah it's supposed to be like a big, it's like seven years or something in between the scene where Gandalf's like, keep it secret, keep it safe. And then a huge amount of time passes.
Starting point is 01:44:14 Oh, they superimpose this? I'm going to need you to send me this map. Wow, Frodo and Sam absolutely mogging Bilbo's journey. Not even close, even though they got distracted there in the bottom it looks maybe had to go around a mountain range yeah dude if you're doing if you're doing daily movie reviews
Starting point is 01:44:31 you got to toss there's three days for you right there fellowship two towers return of the king she doesn't maybe want to watch four hour movies to get her review material she I watched the I watched the first Lord of the Rings and I gotta say I watched the extended cut of the rings and i gotta say i watched the extended cut by the way just clarify and it was worth the three hours i felt it used the three
Starting point is 01:44:52 hours very well agreed and there are movies where i feel like they didn't use the three hours very well they this movie establishes the entire world and by the end of it I'm like oh shit this is the end of the three hours I thought it was going to go on for longer yeah like it's not there's nothing wrong with long movies as long as it's a long story they're telling it's so much she didn't bother to watch the other two well that's
Starting point is 01:45:18 she's just biding her time she's going to watch the last two and then she's going to come back on here again and be like oh Taylor you were so right. I didn't even remember any of Kyle's dumbass recommendations. Lord of the Rings rules. It's the best movie of all time. Not the best book of all time.
Starting point is 01:45:34 We can all be real about that. It's I've never read the book, so I wouldn't know. It's a hard read. He is a bad author who thinks he can't make mistakes. He's he's he's bad bad at pacing his pacing leaves a lot to be desired he clearly needed more editing he needed someone in his ear being like hey this world you're building is awesome but these 30 pages in a row talking about the flora and fauna of the shire we got to move past this a little faster. Can you get to the action?
Starting point is 01:46:05 And then sometimes he would do something that, I rip on George R.R. Martin all the time, but something that George R.R. Martin doesn't do is like breeze past battles. Like Martin will spend way too much time on feasts and shit, but he also, he'll spend enough time on a battle usually. Lord of the Rings like is aggravating as shit sometimes because it'll be a huge buildup for some battle, like particularly at the end of the first book when they fight the Uruk-hai. And it's like, oh, here it comes.
Starting point is 01:46:35 You know, you know, when you're reading a book and you're like getting you start turning the pages faster because you're reading faster because you're anticipating the good part showing up. And then it's like, oh, that was six pages. There's 45 pages of lead up six pages of fighting and now you know four pages about how bad it is that boromir died what's the spider's name she lob she lob there are three or four pages describing that it's dark out on the way to that battle and i'm you try reading four pages of it's dark it's dark it's darkity dark it's so dark you can't see your feet it's so dark you can't see your hand it's so dark you can't tell where you're going it's darkity dark dark dark there's no moon out it's dark dark dark and i'm just like good
Starting point is 01:47:13 fucking lord i get it i get it i get it i got a long time ago one page was more than enough oh yeah he does do that uh he dwells way too long on certain things. But overall, it's carried by the fact that it's an incredible world and the story itself is so good. Did he invent a lot of what an elf is, what a dwarf is? A lot of the reason he, or a stated reason that he wrote Lord of the Rings initially was he was like, oh, so much King Arthur style ancient like english lore like like fables legends myths and stuff he's like we've lost so much of that i'm gonna make a new one i'm creating a new kind of mythos lore of england and all this and so he got way too into some parts because his goal wasn't just to write a book he was trying to like flesh out the world in a in a really thorough way which he did
Starting point is 01:48:05 uh but yeah not not the greatest book i i heard i uh i've never i said i never read it but the only thing that i heard about the lord of the rings books is that um it takes a lot of time to describe the world, like you said. And I find that to be actually very useful in a book. Like I haven't read that many books, but with books, some books, it's some authors don't take enough time to describe the world that we're living in. So I get confused a lot but i feel like having is it is it wrong to have too much detail or not enough detail yeah i'd rather have too much if it's between too much and not enough but like something else that tolkien does a shit ton in those books is something that i know
Starting point is 01:49:00 like more artsy people probably like like it'll just break from the story and be like, and then Frodo and Sam sang a song and it's just like a whole page of like a song he wrote or like poems he wrote. And so anytime I'm reading those books or rereading them and I get to one of those like specially indented, formatted, like this is a poem section, skip it. I skip the whole way past it which
Starting point is 01:49:27 amounts to probably like 30 pages of lord of the rings i haven't read if you were to prorate it because he did a lot of those so you're not a big reader except for comics i assume you're big i'm um just now getting into comics this past year, what really helped us, what really helped me get into comics was the whole Eric July thing, mainly because his ice cream is just bad art. And so I was like, man, this sucks. I got to look into comics that are good.
Starting point is 01:50:04 And through my reading comics I'm just discovering a lot of really good comics getting into Shotgun Samurai, Wanted The Walking Dead I'm just looking at a few that I've started to read and i'm just like i i'm doing a daily comic book review on um for canon sake dot live which is why i'm always getting in so many into
Starting point is 01:50:38 comics because i'm doing the daily comic review on top of the uh daily movie review but also uh i have a i have a thought non-sequitur to comics but it's based on your guys's recommendation you guys recommended this uh when you guys when dick was on uh you guys were talking about Oz. Yeah. I never heard of Oz until I heard you guys talking about it. My producer boyfriend, Young Clippa, and I, he's the guy that went to Eric July's warehouse. We started watching Oz, and I was like, whoa, this is intense.
Starting point is 01:51:24 Hurt your feelings. Yeah. Yeah, I love Oz. whoa this is intense this is feelings yeah yeah i i love lies it's it's i don't know it's really good you don't like it i think it's very well made and well acted i think it's just depressing subject matter that's unrelentingly grim and dark and and but there's no like shine to it like like when it's not grim and dark it's not like it's fun and quirky and dark and and but there's no like shine to it like like when it's not grim and dark it's not like it's fun and quirky and exciting and it's like the prison system oh yeah i've watched it too through dude just when you think things are turning around that the guy's like finally getting a knack for surviving in the prism system you realize he's being played and it goes worse than you could have imagined it always goes no one ever wins in oz you just lose a little less yeah wait who is your favorite character
Starting point is 01:52:12 yeah who's your favorite character oh i think it depends on the season because early show beecher kind of sucks he's just getting bullied and raped by nazis and then like late series beecher has become so disconnected from reality that like he actually scares people now because they're like yeah that's the kind of guy that'll just like he would happily die right just now he'll shit on you leave him alone on you he'll bite your penis off when like because he bit that nazi's dick off like yeah so beecher gets better as the show goes on uh the guy he's in those insurance commercials the head nazi i don't know what the actor's name is schillinger yeah yeah it's chilling her uh schillinger it's uh he's really good he's a great actor i like him at a bc simmons yeah jk simmons he's good uh the black guy
Starting point is 01:53:02 who somehow keeps that tiny hat on his head, Adebisi. Wimbe? I like him a lot. Oh, I know who said it. What is it? Adebisi. Adebisi.
Starting point is 01:53:11 Yeah. And then the old WAP in the early seasons was kind of like the last holdout of a guy in charge who was keeping things kind of in line. And then once the old Dago got removed from his position of power, it went wild and crazy in Emerald City and all that. Yeah, I'm glad you checked out Oz.
Starting point is 01:53:34 How much, have you watched the whole thing? I've watched up to like midway through season five. So I'm almost done with it. I think my favorite character, I really like Augustus. He's such a great narrator. And I like those bits where he's in the box, the clear box,
Starting point is 01:53:54 and he's commentating on like all the, like just what's happening in the story. And there's always some sort of poetic thing that he's saying that applies to what's happening and also it's so raw and well written how each episode is a self-contained story and it follows many all other stories within that and does it so well that i'm able to catch up what's happening with everyone uh i think i'm at the part now where um fuck what is uh o'reilly and his uh retarded brother cyril yeah yes yes uh ryan and cyril i'm at the point where cyril is on the death row and i'm like oh man this guy it's so sad because like his his mother is advocating for him to stay
Starting point is 01:54:50 alive and Ryan's just like no he's not going to survive here but his mother doesn't understand what it's like to live in Oz yeah and so they have a theater teacher I'm getting anxious sitting here listening i love dark material it is very dark like and i remember like i liked ryan o'reilly as a character he was great but a lot of the reason that cyril ended up on death row is because ryan kept fucking up like yeah basic like cyril who is ryan's retarded younger brother is also like the most skilled boxer in the prison. And he can just he can piece anyone up, fucks people up. He just he just loves boxing. And so over and over, like Ryan will be like, hey, Cyril, Adebisi stole one of your Twinkies.
Starting point is 01:55:42 And Cyril's like, Adebisi did that. stole one of your Twinkies. And Cyril's like, Adebisi did that? Oh no. And then he'll just go beat the absolute shit out of Adebisi or whoever the character is.
Starting point is 01:55:50 And then like afterward, Cyril's being dragged away by guards and Ryan's like, Cyril, no! Why is this happening? And it's like, because you just keep
Starting point is 01:55:58 sicking your retarded brother on all of your enemies. And eventually, he kills a couple guys by just knocking them out so hard. And then he ends up on death row. And the whole time, like it's not until he's on death row that Ryan even has the most
Starting point is 01:56:12 teeniest bit of, of sincere remorse. I haven't mentioned Chris Keller at all. Chris Keller is a good character. Oh, he's the baddest. Oh yeah. He's so evil. He's a bisexual psychopath who. Oh, yeah. He's so evil.
Starting point is 01:56:25 He's a bisexual psychopath who seduces Belcher. Is that his name? Beecher. And gets him to love him. And I think maybe they actually did love each other for some period. It's hard. I either got fooled by it or it was real.
Starting point is 01:56:42 But he still just ruined this guy's life and does he eventually like take down the whole fucking prison or something well the indians around the two of them i don't want to spoil it for her but the indians around speecher and uh and uh and that guy that guy's from svu you know that's that's what he was like known for he's the main guy uh in svu but every time i see him in some smaller role he does a really good job i like that guy you never watched oz through all the way did you kyle you got to oh i watched it all no no i watched it all i know i know how that thing ends you know that's dude any show that opens up with like
Starting point is 01:57:15 man i got fooled by the first episode of oz when beacher goes in and he's all timid and the jk simmons river is like you gotta be careful of all the blacks around here come on I talked to the head warden you're staying in my cell we'll be cellies and then I'm like man it sure is good that the all state guy is here to help protect Beecher and then like
Starting point is 01:57:37 15 minutes of screen time he's like pop those pants off you belong to me now oh god day one swastika tattooed on his ass it's pretty brutal uh okay he brushed his teeth at home that morning i uh lance riddick uh from john wick was great in it too i'll rip in peace though oh yeah yeah he's the like incredibly lean africanlooking black man with the English accent who's in everything. He was in Spartacus back in the day.
Starting point is 01:58:10 Oh, yes. I know who he is. He's the undercover agent. Yeah. He's like, I can go in and get the drug. And then they're like, hey, maybe our plan should be a little different. Maybe we shouldn't send a recovering heroin addict in to buy heroin and like, tell us about it.
Starting point is 01:58:27 And they're like, that's interesting. But you know, we've only got one guy and he's a recovering heroin addict. The wire, the wire features him heavily. He's like a main, main character of it.
Starting point is 01:58:37 And he's very good. Yeah. He's, he's like the higher up Lieutenant, maybe, you know, as the show goes on, people are getting promoted,
Starting point is 01:58:44 but I think he's, he's Lieutenant from the, from the beginning. As the show goes on, people are getting promoted, but I think he's Lieutenant from the beginning. The Wire is the premier old school HBO show, if you've already seen The Sopranos, I guess. I haven't seen either of those. I can't get on board with this Oz thing. If anybody's listening
Starting point is 01:58:58 to this and thinks it's a good idea to watch, it's a depression simulator. It'll make you feel bad about your day. You'll go to bed'll make it'll make you feel bad about your day like you'll go to bed at night that night better exactly or make you a little thankful i didn't get molested by any white supremacists today i didn't have to to box this giant italian dude i get to sleep in my bed a little bit of thankfulness it's you know it's how you spin it internally i guess because you went to prison it's different yeah that. Yeah, that's part of it.
Starting point is 01:59:25 I think Kyle watched it as prison was looming over him. What a stupid time to watch Oz. I think that I had watched it and was like, maybe in the last season, and then I got arrested. Kyle spent two months
Starting point is 01:59:44 in federal prison for marijuana oh is Oz accurate? it's exactly like that I raped so many people like first thing you do you find the biggest meanest guy on day one and you rape him
Starting point is 01:59:59 you suck his dick yeah you blow him you walk into there and you find the biggest dude you can suck his dick yeah no yeah um no i went to like uh like a junior grade prison they're in like federal maximum security you killed people prison yeah ah real that makes sense yeah that's why so many of them have so little to lose, which is the scariest thing ever when someone has nothing to lose. Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 02:00:28 Another series that I do want to watch more of and review this year, start reviewing this year, is Star Trek. You guys into Star Trek? I've never seen an episode, but tee off, Kyle. Let her ask questions. Yeah, I'm a Star Trek episode, but tee off, Kyle. Let her ask questions. I'm a Star Trek expert, I would say. What do you want to know? Well,
Starting point is 02:00:52 which series do you like the most? Deep Space Nine has the most character development, and it does the best at not being too serialized. You have to keep in mind Star Trek was mostly produced during the days of no TiVo even. Like no way to stream.
Starting point is 02:01:12 The episodes had to be serialized. You had to be able to throw up season two, episode three, and then season four, episode seven back to back and really not even care. They should flow into each other because we're, we're, we're, that's how, that's how the next generation is to some extent. It's the one with captain Picard with the bald head and wharf and all those
Starting point is 02:01:33 people that was made from roughly 1991 to like the, the later nineties, 97 or something like that. And then they made four movies. I think that one's my second favorite, but it suffers from that because each episode has to be its own thing, and there's not a ton of carryover,
Starting point is 02:01:50 especially until later seasons with particular characters. Deep Space Nine, however, it's not a spaceship that travels around exploring or getting into hijinks. It's all about a space station, so there's this influx of commerce and traffic and races from all
Starting point is 02:02:06 over the the place and i like that one a lot deep space nine is very good uh that's young clip his favorite actually star trek's deep space nine he showed me a couple of episodes and i really like the premise uh i think my favorite even i haven't seen much but i will say that i like the original series a lot i've seen like 10 episodes i don't know it's something about their acting they just seem so serious and they're it because they're so serious it helps me believe the world that they're in even if the props look like it's from just like cardboard cut out they just made it right before the props look like it's from cardboard cutout. They just made it right before the shot. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:02:56 The way that they were so serious about it, I was like, okay, so that's what their consoles look like. Cardboard. Got it. That's what the future is like. Yeah, I grew up watching that one when I was like five, watching that with my dad on the couch or whatever. But I can't go back to that. There is a brand new series called strange new worlds. And it takes place 10 years before captain Kirk takes over on the enterprise.
Starting point is 02:03:13 It's got captain Pike who, who, you know, from the early episodes of the next of the original series, it's captain Pike. And then he gets all melted and he's in that weird wheelchair with his melted face. This new show, strange new worlds is all about captain Pike and it's gets all melted and he's in that weird wheelchair with his melted face. This new show Strange New Worlds is all about Captain Pike and
Starting point is 02:03:28 it's got Uhura and Spock and a few other people in it. Strange New Worlds is fun. You asked Kyle what his favorite Star Trek was and I don't know that I can defend it, but I've enjoyed Lower Decks maybe more than any of the other ones. I get a kick out of that thing. When a new episode drops and
Starting point is 02:03:43 it's between seasons right now it's a little light in my day like oh shit there's a Lower Decks buckle up baby this is what we're watching Lower Decks is the animated and it's named after an episode from the next generation
Starting point is 02:04:00 where you focus on some junior grade ensigns who are disconnected from the bridge crew there's big happenings but we don't get let in on that i just got to turn this knob and you got to flip that switch we do this shit um so that's what the animated series it mostly focuses on these junior grade ensigns or whatever and uh the the voice actor for the one guy is the main character from the boys. The quirky Howard. Is that his name in the Huey?
Starting point is 02:04:28 Huey. Yeah. Yeah. And it's written. It's clearly written by huge Star Trek nerds like me. So when there's continuous references, it feels like Rick and Morty. But instead of referencing pop culture and other movies and TV shows, they're self-referential. They're referencing Star Trek. But all of the Star Treks, all of the
Starting point is 02:04:51 Voyager, I've seen all that there is to see. I've seen all the trekking. Voyager's awful. Voyager's awful. The cook in Voyager is just a straight-up pedophile. So in Voyager, Taylor, you up pedophile so they uh so in voyager uh taylor you're gonna love this taylor um they get flung to the far end of the galaxy like 80 years from home it's like a problem no consent laws in that corner of space well they they pick up this weird alien named neelix and he's got like this uh this little girl with him and then kes and who's his main squeeze you
Starting point is 02:05:26 know and they're like ah kes what uh what species are you and she's like oh i'm okampa oh okay we never heard of that shit before how old are you three wait what yeah we only live to five we're like uh big dogs uh wait is it neelix like railing you every night because there's even an episode where somebody flirts with kes and neelix gets all like Sigma male about it. Like he's getting aggressive. Neelix is a straight up pedophile. And he's the most annoying character. He is the Jar Jar Binks of Star Trek.
Starting point is 02:05:56 Yes. Oh, no. No. But he likes them young. They live to be five and she's three. Roughly. Maybe seven. You know, like a great dame and so
Starting point is 02:06:06 he's fucking this all the time who's like it's okay because she's pretty it's like 10 years to one so she's like 30 years old she got into it i think she was killed by police or something not that long ago i i do realize she was she was like barricaded in her bedroom
Starting point is 02:06:22 yeah in real life like no all jokes aside she was i saw police in voy her bedroom. Yeah, in real life. Like no, all jokes aside. She was, I saw a video. Yeah, there's a police in Voyager. I thought maybe it was real life. She got killed by the police. The police in Star Trek are just these guys with old football helmets, old leather football helmets on.
Starting point is 02:06:34 It's stupid. What's her name? Sorry. Cass is the character. So that's how you'll find it. K-E-S, Cass actress. And then she was in something crazy. She was like in a police standoff
Starting point is 02:06:44 where she was barricaded in her bedroom. Jennifer Lean, is that her name? Oh, my. She's not being caught. She is not dead. She was not killed by police. Oh, that's good. Did she get in some trouble, though?
Starting point is 02:06:56 I remember seeing the video of her barricaded, and I felt like they had to be unarmed. Now you've got me scrolling down the Wikipedia, personal life. I watch a lot of police shootings. All right, between 2015 and 18, Lean was arrested and charged with a variety of offenses. Oh, a variety.
Starting point is 02:07:10 A variety of offenses. Well, I like that she called it a correction. Later dropped. Voyager has Kate Mulgrew as the captain. It's Lady Captain. She's the lady from Orange is the New Black. I guess the older Butch one.
Starting point is 02:07:23 I've never seen that show, but I know she's there. I've never seen that show either. I've only seen like three episodes and then my mom was like what are you watching you're watching a lesbian show you're no longer allowed to watch that because i was watching it was 14. tumblr was recommending it so i was like i'm gonna watch it i watched three episodes that means you're gay because you're watching it. Her quote. Which show? She was right. Orange and the New Black. Orange and the New Black.
Starting point is 02:07:49 I saw that. I guess I'm gay too. What show was it for all you guys that you weren't allowed to watch as a kid? I guess, were there any other ones? There were no... I grew up in a sex-positive house. I watched Blue Lagoon with my parents.
Starting point is 02:08:06 That's fucking weird. Oh oh weirder than you know yeah it's weirder than you could possibly fathom like South Park was the main like South Park was the main one for me in like like early 2000s
Starting point is 02:08:22 I was like middle school age that was the last big holdout of my parents was like you cannot watch south park you cannot watch south park and then you know you slip past that goalie pretty quick you know what's weird my my parents let my older brother older older than me by five years they let him watch south park when he was 12 but then when i was 12 i was never allowed to watch south park at all and i was never allowed to watch it when i was like 17 and they're like oh you're supposed to get out get out of here and it's like but we're watching it with my brother that's weird you're not allowed to watch it i'm like but you let him watch it when he was 12 what the fuck is
Starting point is 02:08:59 one of the biggest like i'm the oldest but one of the biggest benefits I always imagined of being the youngest or younger was that you get away with shit infinitely easier oh no actually not for me that ruins the rules your parents were stricter on you than your older brother it's also pretty typical to be strict on your daughters right
Starting point is 02:09:18 I didn't think about that in the context of like TV shows though like South Park stuff. I have an older sister. She was able to do more than I was. I think my parents were like, oh, we know where we messed up with our children. Maybe if we if we yeah, if we maybe if we really heavily sheltered her, then she would turn out fine. No, no. Maybe if we really heavily sheltered her, then she would turn out fine. No.
Starting point is 02:09:47 Look at me, Mom. Top 5% on OnlyFans. She would hate it. She would hate that? Does she not know about that? She probably does. I just haven't talked to her in five years. It's been a long time.
Starting point is 02:10:08 It is a long while are you actively doing like the no contact thing with mom um i mean not actively she hasn't really said anything to me but i okay there has been a couple of contacts where she would send an Instagram message to young Clippa saying like, you're keeping her hostage. She wants to be with me, actually. And she wants to do what I want to tell her to do, which is to do software engineering. And I want to make sure I want to crush her dreams of becoming an artist ever actually and she would send this big long message to him like this is deranged lady what are you doing like i i've chosen a path you're going to respect that or not and she doesn't so i don't talk to her she wants you to be a computer programmer yeah because my dad was a software engineer and so
Starting point is 02:11:05 i guess shown an interest in that no never i've never shown an interest i've only shown interest in drawing playing minecraft and uh yeah drawing you know what you know they know that it's a good stable career with advancement opportunities that they have a leg up in, right? It's the same reason you did accounting, right? I bet that's a similar situation, right? Yeah, yeah. Before, I was a software engineer. But before that, I was an accountant.
Starting point is 02:11:33 And like Kyle said, my father was an accountant. And there was a path that was already paved for me there. Fast track, even. I didn't want to walk it. His father before him, right? Didn't you once say your grandpa was an accountant too he was a salesman and an abusive alcoholic but he kept good accounts certainly not his wife
Starting point is 02:11:55 yeah i overestimated them look the thing, all of our grandpas were abusive alcoholics. I think that says something about the quality of either the alcohol or the ladies in those days. It can't be a coincidence that all these men needed to get drunk and women were tougher. They had jaws on them. The greatest generation had its flaws. It did. Yeah, but they beat the Japs and the Nazis. Not my grandparents. Did your grandparents stick around, Kyle?
Starting point is 02:12:31 My mother's father fled to Dallas and died of cancer in 1994, we found out on the internet. That's when we got the internet. And then my dad's dad died of cirrhosis of the liver at 35. So they didn't really hang around, no. Oh, so I'm close here. My father's father ran away when my father was 10.
Starting point is 02:13:00 And he did that thing that you can't do anymore, where you completely run away and start a new life. Dallas. 13 miles away. Mine went 13 miles away. It was like, I never saw it again. Different grocery store. One bus ticket.
Starting point is 02:13:13 And my mother's father, apparently he was a good guy, but he died of colon cancer when she was a teenager or young. Colon cancer. It comes for us all. I've already resigned to my fate. I don't think... You don't get your colonoscopies weekly?
Starting point is 02:13:31 Weekly? Yeah, Woody set me up with a guy. It's a house call guy. I promise you. You lay prone. His methods are controversial, but it's pretty cool.
Starting point is 02:13:46 Why do you have to test back and forth so much? He's very thorough. If I wasn't on fentanyl, I'd be mad at you. Did you guys have any parents in the war?
Starting point is 02:14:01 I only say this because my dad was in Vietnam. My birth dad was in Vietnam. My birth dad was in Vietnam. He was an old geezer. Damn. I thought a different way. Your birth dad was definitely older then, right? Yeah, he was born in 54.
Starting point is 02:14:18 That's like 10 years older than my dad. My dad was not old enough to fight in Vietnam. My dad was. he lucked out and didn't get his uh number drawn so he didn't have to go oh that's lucky and my grandparents like got some exemption from world war ii or my great grandpa got an exemption from world war ii one of them for flat feet which i guess they were like you can't go and the other one because he was a farmer and i guess at the time they were like all right you're called up and they're like wait no you're
Starting point is 02:14:50 a farmer you're like growing it we need you to keep growing go grow that stuff yeah you you don't participate you go back to your farm's gonna shut down without you you stay on the farm that makes a lot of sense it was think the reality was tricky. They're like, we don't want to lose our good citizens. This guy's a farmer. You keep doing that. We need you to make food. I think my father didn't go, at least partly because he was in college. If you go to college, we don't want to lose people
Starting point is 02:15:18 like you. We'll send these guys who are worthless. Married? I don't know. I'm not positive about mary i'm definitely positive about parents and uh only sons couldn't interesting i bet they changed that later on i bet they had different policies as the war went on that's how you end up with stuff like mcnamara's morons which should be a movie by the way it's it's that rolls right off the tongue mcnamara's morons coming this fall mcnamara's morons was discovered uh army program to utilize those with iqs below 85 in the
Starting point is 02:15:52 in the military industrial complex the idea was come on you can find something for him to do right and it turns out how to work no bad no because you can't teach them the basics. A lot of them couldn't read or write. They cause more problems than they can even come close to. They can't read road signs, so they can't drive trucks. They can't even peel potatoes, it ends up. We're going to hold your hand and get you to the place where you peel the potatoes and then hold your hand every night back to your bunk and walk you through all the regiment. Boot tramp camp is all sorts of fucking
Starting point is 02:16:26 polish your boots and tie your shoes shit. They're not getting any of that, ever. Jordan Peterson talks about this all the time. He says it like it's amazing. The Army doesn't want you if your IQ is below, it might be 85, 73, I forget what the number is. 83, I think. 83, okay.
Starting point is 02:16:42 And he says it again and again, like, you know, it's really important to have an IQ over 83. And I'm like, this isn't groundbreaking or amazing to me. This is quite obvious. Yes. It helps to have a higher IQ. Yes. 100%.
Starting point is 02:16:53 I mean, again, if you can't read or write, you're going to really struggle because everything's going to be labeled. Like, you can't be a clerk. You can't do any of the behind-the-scenes clerical shit. Like, there's nothing for you. You'd be in the way. You'd be a clerk you can't do any of the behind the scenes clerical shit like there's nothing for you you'd be in the way you'd be i feel like russia russia has these like wave attacks right yeah right they just they call them meat waves on youtube anyway dude i probably are right now right like like i know that it made news for a while when they would pardon a particularly nasty criminal for to go to ukraine they're like i think it was a cannibal that they freed you know it's like damn and like i wouldn't
Starting point is 02:17:30 be any more afraid to go to war against a cannibal than the than the rest of the russians shooting ak's at me you know but but it's it speaks more to like wait they're just gonna let this guy go and but then i was like he's not ever getting home he's not ever getting home he's gonna die in ukraine oh yeah they kind of made sure of it they give those people the most deadly roles But then I was like, he's not ever getting home. He's not ever getting home. He's going to die in Ukraine. Oh, yeah. They kind of made sure of it. They give those people the most deadly roles. Yeah, upfront and personal.
Starting point is 02:17:53 Taylor, do you want to do the advertisement? Yes, yes. Before we jump to the next thing, we're going to hear from a couple of fantastic sponsors. You don't have the rotating gif. Oh, I do. On my screen, I see it. Oh, don't interesting on the top right you don't see it perhaps it's on zax which is all that would matter uh this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaoh distro.com pka fans picture this you me and enough smoking accessories to make snoop
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Starting point is 02:20:48 This episode is also brought to you by Merrick Health. New sponsor. Brand new sponsor. Very high quality. Kyle, that is the same lab you used, isn't it? Yeah, that's Derek's place. I can't speak highly enough of the, of the experience that I had there. I think it's like 750 bucks to get going like total with all of your, uh, it's, it's all of your testing. It's all of your lab work.
Starting point is 02:21:13 Um, and, uh, it's, it's some of the meds and it's a few other things. Uh, they start off with, like I said, getting your lab work done to find out what they need to do. And, uh, then you have a consultation with a doctor, and you go over that lab work, and then they prescribe you whatever you need. And man, it's so fast from so my issue is always like sticking to something and getting the ball rolling with it. But it's almost impossible not to like, just get it done if you take that first step. Because from the time that I signed up or like applied or whatever to the
Starting point is 02:21:46 time I actually had my medicine was, I don't know, like two weeks tops. I think it was actually like eight or nine days or something. And, um, it's, uh, if you think that you need some testosterone, if you think that if you've got low sex drive or just low energy, if're you know early mid late 30s or old or something like that um it it's like secret sauce it's magic it's it's like something it's the secret serum from a movie it's what all of those bullshit products at gnc want to be like like all of those things with some swole motherfucker on the cover flexing if you want to know what he's really taking you can get it in maric like that guy could eat anything he wanted as long as he kept taking his medicine and uh and and uh i can't speak highly enough of uh the whole situation i like being able to
Starting point is 02:22:41 always have you know a doctor it's it's telemedicine. So everything really goes quickly. Um, and then just getting my blood work done and having them look at it. Cause I don't know about my family doctor, if he even knows what's, what his specialty even is, but they were like, Oh, we've got some things to fix. I think, I know my cholesterol was bad, but I think I had a thyroid issue that we fixed with, uh, like supplementation and diet too um i i love the the whole thing i still obviously you know take my merrick meds yeah so get your head right through chemistry start feeling good about being good
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Starting point is 02:27:46 Very high quality stuff. Start coming like a man. That's it. Those are all the ads. Check all those out linked below. Taylor, do you know more about these Jew tunnels than I do? Let me lay out what I know. It turns out there was some kind of secret tunnels that led from a synagogue,
Starting point is 02:28:03 that led from a synagogue to like a newsstand or something and that's at least that's their sort of a story they're like oh don't worry about my secret underground tunnel that's just so i can pop out for the paper and i don't think so yeah i don't know i saw a clip and it seemed like they were trying to invade the tunnels and there were lots of men throwing chairs and stuff. I am in the dark. I don't know what to believe. I don't know what's going on with the Jew tunnels, the underground Jews. But I know that I just I was trying to track the underground Jew problem.
Starting point is 02:28:37 And it seems that initially someone was like, actually, they built that tunnel to go to church during covid and then like immediately i saw like some twitter uh like fact check thing where it's like these tunnels were not uh were in the process of being built five months ago well after covid and so it's like i have no idea what the this is the ninja turtlesout. It took me a second, but that's the Ninja Turtles hangout. It's the pizza that gives it away. I have no idea what the Jews are doing underground, but I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. Did you see the mattress, that bloody mattress being carried out?
Starting point is 02:29:19 What's going on with that? A bloody mattress and baby strollers is a scary combo. It does lead to a synagogue. I'm reading while you're talking about it. I'm sorry. And the articles I read, both of them said that the purpose isn't known yet. What purpose? I don't get it.
Starting point is 02:29:40 I just saw the pictures of the high chairs and the bloody mattresses and the tunnel entrance itself. But I don't know what's going on. But that's pretty... From the outside looking in, it looks sinister. I have a theory. Yeah. Oh, okay. The ooze from above ground goes into the underground.
Starting point is 02:30:00 And we're creating the ninja turtles. We got ninja Jewish people. Ninja. ground and recruiting and like the ninja turtles we got uh ninja jewish people ninja and they're they're here to fight crime and they're being trained by the ninja turtles yeah yeah and they're being trained uh by uh master splinter who is uh who is a jewish rat and they're just doing kung fu you think that's what's going to fight crime yeah that's what's happening down there okay if who is a Jewish rat. And they're just doing kung fu. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. And they're here to fight crime. Yeah, that's what's happening down there. Okay, if it turns out there's a gang of crime-fighting Jews,
Starting point is 02:30:32 then I'm in. But I don't know what's going on down there. Do you know about the mole people in New York? No idea. Apparently they've discovered what was going on with them. Well, no. There are actual mole people who are... There are these subterranean
Starting point is 02:30:46 levels below in the tunnels and these people just live down there they're actual mole people they pop out to get food i guess occasionally but chis sent me a link the other day on whatsapp and i went down the rabbit hole because i thought it was a joke because there's also the silly conspiracy theory about actual mole hybrid people who live underground or whatever this isn't that this is like crazy homeless weird people who live deep down in the tunnels but then once you're down in the tunnel there'll be like a a manhole cover that they'll move aside and go further down into this an area like this and it's just they're in the darkness unless they bring their own light i don't know what where this oh did you i saw was subterranean i was laughing at some of those oh god oh i don't like that kyle you said the
Starting point is 02:31:29 mold people weren't real that's this there's photographic evidence on my screen like yeah you know proved wrong again i like how it's just some guy on the top left. He's a little moley, I guess. How did he get roped into this? He's behind it all. He's the mastermind. Did you guys see, there was like a really viral Twitter post from this guy who was like, I told you! I told you about the Jews
Starting point is 02:31:57 underground! And this guy had like, from six months ago, he was tweeting, he's like, I'm tired of people saying i'm a liar there are 100 jews under my apartment and i live on the ground floor and he was tweeting about it over and over like i swear to god there's got to be dozens of people jumping around singing every night under my apartment and no one will look into it And then like this happened and he's like, ah, there were Jews under my apartment. Like I found,
Starting point is 02:32:27 I was, I wasn't going crazy. Can you imagine anywhere near the tunnel? Yeah. He was above the tunnel. Was he above the real tunnel? Yeah. That's how he was here in the Jews dancing around or doing whatever they're
Starting point is 02:32:38 doing down there. Uh, I don't know. It's praising the Lord. Actress's blood. No, they're praising the Lord and looking out for us. Uh, uh, surface dwellers. You know, praising the Lord. Mattresses, blood. No, not that. They're praising the Lord and looking out for us surface dwellers. You think they're praising?
Starting point is 02:32:48 I don't think they're praising the Lord. I heard him saying, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. They don't like Jesus. Yahweh. Not Jesus. I don't even know who that is. They took care of him. Does the Lord refer to just the Christian God?
Starting point is 02:33:03 No. In my mind. I like to be referred to as the Lord refer to just the Christian God? No. In my mind. I like to be referred to as the Lord. In my mind, it's Jesus or nothing. I hear it's somebody who owns land. Oh, a Lord. Look at that. People's societies.
Starting point is 02:33:17 Yeah. That's all I know a Lord is. I'm not going to be hasty to judge these Jewish underground tunnel networks full of bloody mattresses and baby carriages because I stand with Israel. They were probably down there taking collections up
Starting point is 02:33:38 and those were things to be sent to the Israelis. Like a charity drive sort of thing. Can you imagine like, I'm just putting myself in the, in like Harley's shoes, just like a, just like a normal non-religious Jew who's like watching this unfold. And they're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Please tell me there aren't Jews in an underground tunnel of New York. That can't be, that can't. And then they're like, we found Jews underground in New York. Who knows? And he's just like, fuck, fuck.
Starting point is 02:34:11 Do they know about the Canadian tunnels yet? I gotta call some people. That's Harley's response. He has to call in some ideas. Hey, we need to disguise that Quebec tunnel entrance a little more thoroughly. They're on the lookout for us now. You know, this reminds me of the underground tunnels in Seattle.
Starting point is 02:34:29 You've heard about those? I don't think so. So Seattle burnt down in like the 18 whatever's. And then an entirely new city was built on top of these uh this like burnt down city but you could still like access this underground burnt down city through like a series of tunnels it's i've never seen it but i've only heard of it but that's yeah in seattle this seems like too new of a city to have a bunch of underground tunnels i always picture that like a new york or boston thing i'm probably wrong seattle established in like the 1840s i think show the pictures of the seattle underground paris catacombs
Starting point is 02:35:11 people go down there and don't come out yeah do you remember the 4chan post from like 15 years ago a guy stole a skull out of there and then was posting pictures of it he's like i'm gonna see if i can get this through security and then everyone's like you're lying that's just a picture of a skull and he's like i'm gonna post a picture with my dick in it and then he posted a picture with his dick in the skull and people were like goddamn you really stole a skull from the paris catacombs just to shit post on 4chan with your dick in it and he's like the 2007 internet whatever it was these photos yeah exactly
Starting point is 02:35:47 this is underneath Seattle there's an entire town underneath Seattle damn yeah does anyone still live in there the lights are still on someone's doing something it's been swept lately there's wait a minute there's there's there's there's a rope there
Starting point is 02:36:03 for people to like take the tour. Well, they allow you to go down some areas. Well, fun. I'm always fascinated when they flood a lake and they flood a town. I know Lake Hartwell is particularly big lake. Obviously, nothing like the greater lakes up
Starting point is 02:36:19 you know, but there are towns and graveyards and big buildings and structures under there supposedly obviously i've never been down there but i know it's true i've never heard of these before like heartwell's in northeast georgia um and south carolina it sort of spans the two 185 feet deep at the deepest part isn't that terrifying isn't that fucking terrifying did you see the one like clip
Starting point is 02:36:50 where all the Jews have been like pushed out of the they're like pulling them out of the tunnel and there's the most stereotypical like New York Italian cop of all time and like the Jewish guys are like complaining to him about it and he's like
Starting point is 02:37:05 you got fucking tunnels down there we don't know what you're fucking doing and they're like we want to get our stuff out of the tunnels first and he's like we don't do this here I don't know what the fuck you're talking about we don't fucking dig tunnels around in America and then like no one to build like this shit we don't do this here
Starting point is 02:37:21 and then he just kept telling them that just this big, broad WAP, and it's very funny. That's the attitude you should have. It's bizarre. They don't melt into the rest of society and become just like regular Americans. They retain
Starting point is 02:37:38 their old heritage and culture. Almost like Amish, but Jews. Are these Hasidic? Hasidim Jews? I don't know about these with the tunnels I just figured they were run of the mill I searched tunnel Jew on Twitter
Starting point is 02:37:54 and now I'm seeing some I know the Hasidic Jews the ones that have usually that curlicue shit and the hats and the whole black get up they seem to be I've seen documentaries about and the whole black get up like they seem to be i've i've seen uh documentaries about that about how that they like the whole neighborhood is them and you you're almost really not welcome to go there if you're not like it's like a you know it's like a chinatown
Starting point is 02:38:16 like chinatown but not welcoming yeah like they they tend to stick to their own very ethnocentric the hasidics has, Hasidim, Hasidic. I don't know. That's okay for some groups. Yeah. All right. So it is Hasidic Jews. I didn't make it up.
Starting point is 02:38:32 And like Kyle said, yeah, they kind of take over a town a little bit. They become a voting force or at least an influential enough voting force that if they don't own the local government, the local government knows their voting population is significant enough to swing an election so they leave them the fuck alone and before long like they have their own schools that are getting funded basically like private schools that are funded by the public and i've read about that yeah yeah yeah i'm well versed in this because i have family in new jersey who suffers from this. Like a city Jews dominating their town. And they get like all their private schools like tax funded. Exactly. Because they're active voters and they
Starting point is 02:39:12 vote in a block. And if you don't give them what they want, you'll lose your job. If you don't give them what they want, they'll build a labyrinth under New York. Yeah. It's so weird that they're doing that. It should be so weird. Like I always want to side on the
Starting point is 02:39:28 like let's wait and see what this is about but like there could be some perfectly reasonable reason for them to have tunnels from the new stand of the synagogue could there be like what was telling me about oh sure Elon Musk does it he's a hero the Jews do it
Starting point is 02:39:43 Elon Musk doesn't even do it a hero. The Jews do it. Elon Musk doesn't even do it. He's not even digging tunnels. He promises tunnels. He talked about tunnels once. Think of all the traffic they're preventing from the newsstand to the synagogue. I bet he wants space tunnels. Yeah, space tunnels that he'd like.
Starting point is 02:40:03 Are you big on Elon Musk? Mint? The space race or whatever? I'm excited to see if he ever goes to Mars within his lifetime. That'd be cool to see. I'm not really caught up on it. 100% Elon's going to Mars.
Starting point is 02:40:18 How old is he? He's like 50, 40. Oh, is he? I don't think he's personally going to go to Mars. I think he'll send someone there. He's 52. I was right. Maybe his kid that starts with a letter X and then it's a bunch of numbers. Maybe that kid's going to go to Mars.
Starting point is 02:40:36 One of his kids with the old English A.E. I think he wants to send people to Mars. He has so many luxuries here as the richest human being in existence that we know about anyway. Why would he want to go somewhere to live in a tin can and get irradiated?
Starting point is 02:40:55 Martian life is going to be a lot of tunnel digging. Right? Yes. Maybe we take a problem and we create a solution here. Yeah. Send the tunnelers to Mars they can tunnel to their hearts desire did you see how many satellites he launched last year
Starting point is 02:41:11 he'll have people on Mars by 2026 and by 2050 he'll have a million people on Mars does that make Elon Musk the biggest fucking liar of our time he's up for an answer. You're judging him on things that haven't come to pass yet.
Starting point is 02:41:30 He's still got two years to put somebody there. He's pushing the public can down the road. He said we were ten years from Mars ten years ago. Now he says we're ten years from Mars. And simultaneously three. The Mars thing is a pipe dream. It's never going to be nice there. It's going to be crappy forever. Yeah, but it's just about going.
Starting point is 02:41:45 That I agree with. Yeah. I think we should go, though. Yeah, may as well. Humanity will get there and back, I think. I want to see it. I don't count it as we've been to a planet until a person's there. Like, drones are not going to, that doesn't count.
Starting point is 02:41:58 Yeah, we're on the same team there. Well, we've had rovers and copters on Mars for years now. Yeah, yeah. But that's not the same. That's what they want you to believe. Musk launched so many satellites last year. It was like, I think it was like 900 or something. It was so many.
Starting point is 02:42:17 That's a lot. I can't remember the name of his ISP. Can you help me with it? Oh, Starlink, right? Starlink, yeah. I want to see those satellites because i heard he recently launched like a hundred or some some number that was way bigger than i thought on one like he broke a new record for launches in a year it was this particular
Starting point is 02:42:36 rocket i thought had like a hundred satellites on it and i'm like what is this baseballs yeah oh i don't know what their size is that that that's the sort of nitty-gritty shit that i'd like to know because uh i saw i always wanted to get how big cloud was because you have no way of telling how far away the fucking cloud is and then i read somewhere how much a cloud weighs and it's some unfathomable like like amount of weight that just a cloud each cloud weighs like an olympic pool worth of water like something like something colossal like like crazy shit uh yeah atmosphere is heavier than people realize clouds in the dust smell cool like that's like you know how you have like this like aroma memory type thing
Starting point is 02:43:17 what he's a rocket man i have smelled a lot of clouds and uh, I don't know. Whenever I'm in one, I'm like, yeah, this is cool. And you're surprisingly blind. You can't see your feet that well. Yeah, Mint doesn't know. The reason Woody can smell clouds is because he's soaring among them. Oh, wow. Yeah, he flies. You ever see the movie The Rocketeer?
Starting point is 02:43:39 Yes. I have not. They're teasing you. It's a good movie. I imagine going to Mars is like The Martian. That's how I imagine living on Mars would be like.
Starting point is 02:43:52 Martian was a great movie and a good book. I liked it a lot. I was based on a book? I didn't know that. What do you like the book? It's by Andy Weir. What do you like that book a lot? Because they go really nitty gritty with the science. Down to talking about the chemistry of splitting the fuel into water and oxygen to to you know keep the plant life alive and everything i like that movie a lot i
Starting point is 02:44:15 like to matt damon was really good at carrying that yeah i was and i don't know it's the loneliness zach can you show this picture to i mean take some a few seconds but he'll show it this is a paramotor it's one of my hobbies and uh you can fly around i've been oh i think the highest i've been is 12 000 feet oh wow that's uh scary yeah you know i've seen youtube videos of people doing this. And they have GoPros. They have GoPros on their head. I'm like, oh, I feel like you're going to fall. Please don't fall.
Starting point is 02:44:51 I'm watching. I can't look away. But I'm also scared for them. How safe is it? Comparable to a motorcycle. I think the accident rates. I have a friend. He's the most popular YouTuber for paramotors.
Starting point is 02:45:04 And he never tethers his phone. I have a friend. He's the most popular YouTuber for paramotors. And he never tethers his phone. He just holds it loose in his hand at like 4,000 feet. That's the one I always look at. I'm like, dude, the wind's blowing at like 30, 50 miles an hour. And he's holding his hand just like checking his altitude and speed and stuff and puts it back in his pocket. You might also know paramotors from the Palestinian terror attacks. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:45:29 They did it. They used them. I always thought they'd be terrible weapons of war, but I guess if you don't see it coming, then yeah. You need some AA defense, I guess. You need to know they're coming. I don't think I saw that video.
Starting point is 02:45:46 Yeah, they paramotored in to Israel. Is it October 6th? 7th? 7th. I think 7th. I mixed up with January. Something like that. It's also December 7th because that's Pearl Harbor Day, right? I never forget. It's a big day for surprise attacks. Oh, wow. January 6th, right on the cusp. Have you seen that video? It's from. January 6th, right on the cusp. Have you seen that video? It's from the January 6th. It's the one where the girl gets shot, the woman gets shot.
Starting point is 02:46:12 There's a thing in media right now where one side calls dead women girls and the other calls them women. I don't want to act like I'm doing that. It was a woman. It was a different angle I'd never seen before. She's crawling.
Starting point is 02:46:26 She's in the Capitol building. And she's crawled up onto a desk. And she's coming through some glass or netting that she's knocked out. And they shoot her once in the face and drop her dead. But as soon as she falls over dead, there's two SWAT-style officers. I mean, two steps, three steps behind her. Like helmets and black everything and like armed and it was like man do we need to kill her right there if they were right there to like
Starting point is 02:46:52 we were just a moment away from pulling her back and you shot her in the face and like she was definitely one of those maga people that you would find to be annoying if when you saw them rant on social media i've seen her rants. She's yelling about MAGA stuff. But she's also a veteran. She served in the military for some odd years and it's like, man, I don't think y'all need to shoot that lady in the face right there.
Starting point is 02:47:17 You know? Yeah. I remember she got a bunch of warnings and just decided to try to take the Capitol floor anyway. Having said that, it seemed like Less than lethal would have been a nice option right there. He had his Glock and that was it. You see him.
Starting point is 02:47:34 He's like, don't you fuck. As a suggestion, maybe less than lethal would have been a nice way to handle it. What? It just doesn't work. It's just not effective. Like a big can of bear mace was what they needed to be fair like that would have probably done the trick if they could have sent that big cloud of uh pepper spray at them dude pepper spray takes the fight out of people
Starting point is 02:47:55 oh yeah have you been pepper spray before yeah yeah you have i have yeah like twice a month like like women these days don't know how to fuck with a cat. Dude, I'm just leering. I was doing more of the leering. No, I mean, according to what Mintz said, catcalling Kyle, I think you should really up it. No, I... Flattering. I do that thing where I just follow a woman
Starting point is 02:48:19 and as she quickens her pace, I quicken mine and match it until we're both sprinting. Let's bring Kat calling back. It's not just for black guys anymore. It's for all of us. Get in here, White. I sort of did that follow thing once and I still think back to it.
Starting point is 02:48:38 I've told this story before, but here it is. I'm going to school at night. So it's like 10, 30, 11 p.m. at night. And I'm in my car and I'm driving home. And there's a girl walking on the sidewalk. And she is beautiful, beautiful. If you spend your time out and about amongst the population, you see a girl this stunning once every three months. Like she's just that one.
Starting point is 02:49:01 And I'm looking at her in my car driving home exhausted from my sexy job as an accountant during the day and then school at night. And I see her and just jaw dropping, like, what the fuck? And just the way traffic was slow in the lights and stuff. I kept, like, catching up to her and seeing her again. And, like, I wasn't following her. I was just going home. But she must have thought I was. And she quickened her pace, but so did traffic, right?
Starting point is 02:49:28 I'm just sort of like following her in my car in bumper to bumper traffic. And she takes a look at me one last time and then starts running off. Like she turns and just runs sideways. And I'm like, she's definitely running. So I get out of the car. And she's quick and all, but I'm like she's definitely running so I get out of the car and she's quick and all but I'm in a Honda it's clearly a runner but she's no match so I barrel her down
Starting point is 02:49:54 there in a Wendy's parking lot and when she comes to we're in the ICU and I'm her husband because you do OnlyFans I'm curious have you ever had any like disturbing run-ins or shit like that with a creepy fan no i haven't no uh all the people that i talk to are pretty um very nice very polite most amount that one that one gentleman
Starting point is 02:50:22 has sent your way like like who's your biggest donator not who your way? Who's your biggest donator? Not who, but what's your biggest donate? There's a guy who's really into giantess stuff. Shit. Like camera angles
Starting point is 02:50:40 looking up at you and you're going to stop him? This person would want me to be five oh fuck this person i am going to make you come i like it this person would want me to take like angles like photos of me like about like holding some just like just like this right and like take me photos of like me about to put it in my mouth but then i'm yeah vor and also giantess too they like vor and giantess yeah they would want me to like draw a cartoon character they would want me to draw the like the step of picking them up or like a video of me like uh picking, like the camera, and then putting the camera up to my mouth
Starting point is 02:51:27 like I'm eating them. That's the strangest one that I've had, but it's not hurting anything. Let me give you a recommendation. Here's an interesting camera angle. It just came to me. Could you take a hot dog bun and sort of wrap it around,
Starting point is 02:51:42 like have the camera lens look through the hot dog bun so that when you bite it like it looks like you're seeing part of you being taken off oh i have hot dog buns that's a good idea yeah i want that camera angle yeah oh that's really dark shit how much is that uh for custom content is that how that works what does it cost um it's like ten dollars a minute um for stuff he he over he like tips me a lot just to do it and he's like oh my goodness thank you so much thank you so much and he like tips me heavy i'm like oh thank you he's like every every message that he sends he tips me a lot i'm like wow thank you and he's like i have this i have this other idea i'd like you to do um here here's an idea then i do the idea and then he tips me a lot like oh my goodness this is
Starting point is 02:52:32 so hot thank you like dude taylor imagine if we had titties like you know because i'm thinking right now how i would take i'd be like mama's hungry like i guarantee if you send him that message right now you can make a hundred dollars before we can get off this call oh easily like is so how is the way it works that this guy paid you and then for like two months he's like boom i got my video of her pretending to eat me i'm solid or is it like every week he's got to go back to the well because he can't pretend to be eaten the same way over and over uh he would he uh he would ask for a custom i do the custom then he like send um like a lot of money with like this message like oh my goodness this is so hot thank you and then he would send me like a week later, this like long message of his fantasy,
Starting point is 02:53:26 but he also sent a lot of money to that. It's like, Oh, I have this big fantasy. 50 bucks. Like 50 bucks. Yeah. 50 bucks per message.
Starting point is 02:53:35 It's a lot. It's a lot to message. Yeah. And I'm like, okay. Like, cool. He's like,
Starting point is 02:53:43 Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm getting so turned on describing this to you right now like that's also his fetish i'm like okay cool it's like i have another custom idea and then i do the custom it's like oh this is so fucking hot this is awesome and then you like just like send me a bunch of messages like like oh this is amazing you did it so great. And also, I'm a weirdo degenerate myself, so I totally get the audience.
Starting point is 02:54:10 I also do have Pissment Salad as well. But there's also, what's interesting. I didn't get that. What is Pissment Salad? It's just piss stuff. It's piss stuff. Oh, okay. I'm sorry for the fact that I was
Starting point is 02:54:30 100% like like on board with her with no lag you only had a tiny bit of lag Taylor and Woody was like wait what now I couldn't get I didn't get the piss mint were two different words none of us should have the fact that any of us that's
Starting point is 02:54:45 hilarious you're not i love your reaction it's just stuff there's like there's um there's also a lot of different variation like there's a guy who wanted me to dress him dress up as a teacher he gave me this really long script and he wanted me to scold him like oh you've been really naughty uh you've you've been such a bad boy what are you doing here and he would want me to do that stuff uh there's also a guy who wants me to put duct tape on my mouth and just like photos of duct tape on my mouth. I can relate. Pissing and cosplay literally pays our rent. It's fun. Business is booming.
Starting point is 02:55:35 Have you put the duct tape on your mouth before? Have you done that? I've done a few photos, a few videos. There's this one particular time where he asked me to put duct tape around myself and also duct tape on my mouth and just like a minute just be looking kind of bored like he doesn't want you to look afraid yeah i mean it's against uh fansly tos for you to look afraid. Yeah. I mean, it's against Fansly TOS for me to look afraid. So I support.
Starting point is 02:56:07 Interesting. So I'm so fascinated by someone sending you an entire script. So when they send you the whole script, are you firing out the video like, here's the script, read it and do it and send the video back? Or are you like taking different takes where you say it and you're like, oh, that wasn't convincing, that sucked. And then you try it again?
Starting point is 02:56:32 I've done, like whenever I do these scripts, I do like a couple of takes. Like maybe if I mess up saying a word on the first time, then I'm like, oh, damn it, I got to do it again. This guy specifically wanted me to write down his script and what was funny about the script is it had no
Starting point is 02:56:51 punctuation whatsoever. It was just one long ramble. What an idiot. Equivalent of a five paragraph essay, but no, no punctuation at all. You know it wasn't Taylorlor so i had to so i had to do the punctuation i'll write down it with like punctuation and then i would act it out because
Starting point is 02:57:15 this guy gave me no direction whatsoever and he's like oh my goodness this is so great and then like to tip me more i'm like okay this is fun was this a was the script a giant one or a p1 i don't recall uh it was different it was it was uh this script one specifically teacher one right it was i want a giant p1 where like i'm a claymation figure and the p is slowly like like climbing higher and higher on the thing i'm trapped in and it's going to drown me. That's a good idea. I gotta do that. I like claymation. Claymation's cool. Are you being peed on?
Starting point is 02:57:51 Or are you peeing on things? Or is it just all pee? All things piss. I get pissed on some videos. I piss outside for some of the videos. Does your boyfriend help you with that? Yeah, he pisses on me sometimes. it's fun do you have to like i imagine you have to prep like a video worthy pee and so probably like you have to pee for a solid hour before you're like all
Starting point is 02:58:16 right fire it up yeah we gotta make this count i got one big piss in me the hardest part is like when i really have to piss and it's okay, I have to set up the camera, and I got to make sure I don't piss all over while I'm setting up the camera. So that's the hardest part. So you're waiting to the point that you're about to pee all over yourself before you set the camera up. Yeah, that's what makes the best videos. Yeah, that's what we want.
Starting point is 02:58:38 Yeah, that's what everyone wants. You want to be in jeans, holding their crotch, doing that little dancey thing. Like, oh, no, whatever am I going to... Oh, shame! And you make that Japanese face. When you're not outside, do you pee? Mostly, I would imagine, shower, right?
Starting point is 02:58:56 Like where there's a nice drain? Or are you throwing a tarp down? How do you keep them clean? There's shower, toilets uh just outside um if i get pissed on then i shower afterward um that's fair i do have uh plans though to do yira piss porn uh and also getting pissed on specifically uh yaira is a character from the ripaverse uh it's uh eric july's comic book company her name is yaira i'm dressed as her right now actually and um we're gonna be releasing some uh yaira porn by the time this comes out i'll definitely have at least one set out on the only fans and fansly and i just it's and also just like just a plan to do some yara piss porn yara is the character's
Starting point is 02:59:55 name okay that's and the rip verse for those who don't remember is the comic book universe of eric july who dick masterson has been in a feud with for a good long while now. In essence, you're having the character of Dick's enemy be pissed on? Pissed on, pissing outside.
Starting point is 03:00:18 He loves that. Have you seen these photos? Does he know this writer? Does he know his character is the subject of fistplay i don't know but i'm sure people will tell him they will after you said that on this show he will find out yeah um well i personally like to do like stuff outside like in the woods just because like toilets are dirty and gross and i'm not a big fan of toilet piss porn i like more like outside stuff so that's like the that's the goal i'm gonna just do it in this without without the
Starting point is 03:00:51 veto hat by the way i should clarify without the veto hat um so actually specifically uh when the yara campaign launches that's when i'm going to be doing uh yara piss porn mint salad her link is below with all the piss porn like is well i have to imagine that i don't just do piss porn but that's yeah you do the the other stuff as well like i'm i'm putting she has a giantess she's a teacher she's she wears a lot of hats i'm picturing myself like doing what you do and like the i having to act as a teacher and like read a script and reformat it and like add semicolons and shit like after doing all of that it must be kind of like a easy day at work when it's like what am i doing i'm pissing in the toilet and then i'm pissing on a bunch of acorns under a fucking oak tree and then i'm pissing uh you know near a football stadium like is the piss stuff the easiest shit to do like you're just peeing right um i would say it
Starting point is 03:01:56 is pretty i'd say it's the hardest part of pissing uh piss porn is holding it as it's like uh you have the urge to piss whenever you need the piss but when you need to when you record piss porn you got to hold it and it's like oh shit i hope i don't piss myself so that's the idea there but also for anyone who's not into piss porn i made sure to make like separate accounts very separate so you have to be looking for this account specifically if you're interested in this uh pissman salad is the piss porn account but my main account is titsman salad um just for the rest of it for the normal guys yeah just like the tits well for the normal well don't argue with me that being into tits is equal normal to being into p i mean i don't judge you know like like like look at the popularity numbers
Starting point is 03:02:54 i'm just alt normal yeah i don't you know just because more people like something doesn't mean it's better oh no i'm saying more popular yeah i'm curious same thing am i the first piss porn person on the show no you're like fifth sixth the fifth or sixth no of course you're the only of course every night well that's fun i think you guys had aria on when i wasn't here or something i don't know if i was locked up i don't think she was a p porn person and that was like nine years ago it was nine years ago. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:03:27 May have been 10 years ago. Like genuinely hilarious. We've looked pretty deeply into Vore before. Yeah. The idea of being consumed usually by a sexy large woman. And the animation is just upsetting. Although it's clear that Attack on Titan, whoever come up with that whole idea has a vor
Starting point is 03:03:45 fetish there's no way like you've never seen attack on titan taylor no i know it's an anime i know it's an anime the whole it's an anime about defending the last city against gigantic like human looking monsters i mean gigantic like skyscraper size sometimes who just eat you and they've got these like dead looks and these big chompers and they're just... It's Vore. Vore is very odd to me. I don't understand how you get there.
Starting point is 03:04:14 There's baby steps to everything. Spanking could start as some light tap and then it could end up being like canes and whips and such. I get the progression. There's a clear path. What's if Vore is step five? What was step four, three, two, and one?
Starting point is 03:04:31 Yeah, like how do you I see what you mean. Like what's the initial like, ooh, I like this about being eaten. Because being eaten... He says feeders and stuffers are in a similar like cast and crew.
Starting point is 03:04:47 Maybe just eating things and food what is this in general is that i don't know what is that just the person being fed or may or the the stuffer is the person feeding right now well then who's the feeder oh the stuffer i guess is the receptive the feeder is the stuffer okay that one's weird to me i've i've seen those uh reddit posts where people will be like i just realized that my fiance is a feeder and he's been fattening me up for the and i don't know what to do and like it's like i'm glad my life's simpler than that that's fucking yeah i am not that I don't want to be fat when you're no one wants to be fat bad for business when no one does when you're
Starting point is 03:05:29 when you're felt like you're very into art and all of that and so how many takes does it take you when you're pretending to be a big giant cannibal to get one that you're like fucking nailed it it takes a couple of it takes a few
Starting point is 03:05:49 photos like if i i'll be like okay this angle isn't necessarily right uh maybe this angle maybe maybe i do something more dramatic like i'm looming over the camera so i like giant and then i'll be okay this is a nice camera photo i also make sure to do plenty of lots of lights i'm a really big fan of lighting in uh not just the vor stuff but just just in all the porn that i make is heavy emphasis on lighting because i'm an artist and just love the colors and colors are so important um so like the vor stuff has great lighting like i make sure to emphasis the lighting like maybe if uh there's like a lot of uh behind me lighting or maybe there's a lot of lighting surrounding me but like there's heavy shadow on my face and And so I look more looming and more intimidating. And then it's like,
Starting point is 03:06:46 okay, the here, here's a good artistic shot. And then like the next shot, I'm going to get fun picking up the camera and I'm like, okay, I got to make sure there's a lot of good light on my face. Like none of the light is being obstructed by my phone.
Starting point is 03:07:01 I just pick it up and then like,, just, like, make sure there's no shadows on my face, no harsh shadows, and I feel, uh, a good lighting also establishes, like, the mood, too, of the scene. If I'm doing something blue, it's, like, maybe it's colder environments or something warm, it's, like, it's a nice warm or something warm it's like it's a nice warm environment but there's also if if i do some red lighting it's like oh this person's in danger this person is a heavy danger and if this person specifically wants me to signify that they're in danger then i'll use some red lighting i hope your fans appreciate this i wonder if it's lost on them i don't know.
Starting point is 03:07:46 A lot of people really like the colors. What did you say, Taylor? I said their fans are jacking off to it. And so they probably appreciate it without internalizing the level of care. Yeah, right? They know it's good. They just don't know why. I mean, that's some Scorsese stuff. All jokes aside, right?
Starting point is 03:08:05 When they're burying the body after they beat the guy to death, the maid guy, and they're disposing of the body, everything's cast in that red light, letting you know, this is it. They are in danger. Who made Tenet? They made the mistake. That's it. They're done. Who made Tenet?
Starting point is 03:08:22 Christopher Nolan. He did colors too. I might be mixing this up, but all the forward and time scenes are blue and all the reverse time scenes are red. Or I have that backwards. They use all sorts of red and blue little hints here and there.
Starting point is 03:08:39 Like the carabiner on the jacket or his backpack or his keychain or something. There's little hints as you're going through of that. Tenet is needlessly complex. And I saw it the one time I was, I was very impressed. It was cool. It's fine.
Starting point is 03:08:53 I'm never going to watch that again. It was fine. Yeah. What is the, what's the strangest thing you've ever asked to be, you've ever been asked to pee on? Um, probably just uh i haven't done any piss customs
Starting point is 03:09:11 but um i think the strangest thing i've pissed on has to be like a log probably yeah oh just i mean i've done a log yeah i think we've all pissed on logs. I made no money from it. I mean, I definitely need to. I definitely got to meet the other pissers. There isn't a good piss porn community gathering anywhere that I know of. Are there any real ghouls who are like, I want to see the video of you wolfing asparagus and coffee down anywhere that i know of so are there any like real ghouls who are like i want you to i want to see the video of you wolfing asparagus and coffee down before ap me i'll probably get those
Starting point is 03:09:54 sometime uh i think probably the most weird piss request was somebody wanted me to piss in some blue jeans. It was like a desperation thing. Hey, that's not weird at all. That's super common. That's like the main one. Yeah. So they just wanted you to sit down and be like, oh no. Lots of cool people are into that. In public too. They wanted me
Starting point is 03:10:18 to do that in public with people around. Yeah, absolutely. Would you do that? Can we access that somewhere? Public pee? Yeah. Would you do that? Can we access that somewhere? Public P, are you too shy for that? You got to go. You got to go. No.
Starting point is 03:10:30 Do you want to pool our funds here? I think it would take $5 each from what I've gathered. That's what I'm looking at here. You guys can just link me. I'll steal the content. No, we wouldn't do that. Never. My favorite type is
Starting point is 03:10:48 a long car drive that I'm on the side of the road. It's like, ooh, someone could see me. Ooh. And it's right next to my car or something. There's people passing by while I take
Starting point is 03:11:04 a leak on the side of the road and then people are like really into that like oh my goodness this is so hot holy shit and when you do that you can't post it like it has to be you don't share customs right you make it for one guy and no one else gets it yeah
Starting point is 03:11:19 yeah I don't share customs I don't even take customs just how busy that I am but um i do request i do take requests and then i will do them eventually but i don't take customs right now so busy you get way more customs on the normal page with giants and teachers and the piss one is more of like uh more of a specialist more of a connoisseur yeah but i'm always yeah always down for uh requests because people come to me like oh here here's an idea can you do this i'm like oh i would never have thought of this actually this is a really
Starting point is 03:11:57 good idea i'll definitely do this oh i believe your audience has many ideas you've never even thought of. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, that's cool. Yeah, sure. I'll do this just for you. Does your boyfriend get jealous of you making content? No. Does he get jealous at all?
Starting point is 03:12:13 No. Okay. He doesn't. No. He's like. Well, he probably has to participate in it for like, you know, sex stuff. Right? Yeah.
Starting point is 03:12:22 I do like blowjob videos with him, which is why I want the lock and load so I can get more bigger facials. We're in the wheelhouse. We've done a couple of sex tapes. The only reason why we haven't been making more is because I got to get my IED replaced. I'm just waiting
Starting point is 03:12:41 on that. But once I get my IED replaced, a lot more sex tapes coming. And also, he's fat, too, so he wants to get fit for the sex tape. Really? You gotta get him linked up with marriage. We got the hookup for you guys. Every sponsor here can help out.
Starting point is 03:12:58 You guys can be stoned. He can be fit. We can get him nice and jacked. Yeah. We can get him jacked and come in like a horse. How fat is he? Like an easy to fix level of fat? Yeah. Easy to fix level of fat.
Starting point is 03:13:15 Okay. He's not morbidly obese. He's not like spilling everywhere. Right. He just needs to get chiseled up. Yeah. Chiseling. He needs to get chiseled up. Yeah, chiseling. He needs to get in the weight room, start lifting. Yeah, it's that level.
Starting point is 03:13:32 Yeah, he's got to be doing that. If you guys are in this endeavor together, that's a professional dedication thing. He is a product. He needs to be buffed and shined, ready for the shelf. 100%. Yeah. And I'm trying to get more um buff and lean myself because it's it's a product i view myself it's like i'm my body's the product so i gotta
Starting point is 03:13:54 be looking snazzy yeah for sure lean pristine for the for the peoples out there. Make high quality stuff. I've actually... The thing that I'm doing right now cosplay masturbations. That's fun. Super fun. So you're like masturbating dressed as Snow White or something? Actually, yeah. I do have one of those. Most recent...
Starting point is 03:14:19 Supergirl. Oh. Rogue from X-Men Velma Scarlet Witch I have so many cosplays that I gotta do masturbation tapes in yeah Velma
Starting point is 03:14:35 Velma is a hit yeah that one's a hit that one's a hit Velma and Rogue are both hits oh I have a Scooby-Doo one too, I have a Scooby-Doo one too. You could pull off that. Is it Gwen, the female Spider-Man in the new Spider-Man universe?
Starting point is 03:14:52 Yeah, Gwen Stacy. Yeah, you could be her. Yeah, I mean, I was looking at all the cosplays of Spider-Gwen and they're not sexy ever. They're not sexy at all it's like how the fuck would i do this i mean i have a gwen mask i could probably do it in but like nothing nothing like
Starting point is 03:15:14 the bodysuit i'm still looking for cosplays that i can do uh like sexy masturbations in because it's just they're so hard to find they're always just like one piece body suits to take it off keep it on take it off all right well there's no part of me that looks like gwen now if i take off the one piece right well you probably use a lot of wigs and stuff right yeah i use i need someone who has a lot of accessories like fucking Jesse from Toy Story. Yeah. That's a really good idea. There's a snake in my coot.
Starting point is 03:15:55 It's a really fun idea. It's pretty funny. You gotta use that line. There's a snake in my coot. Yeah. That would work out. Jesse from Toy Story, you start doing, you're just one of the penguins from Halfie Feet. There's probably a market out there.
Starting point is 03:16:13 There's tons of accessories. When you take your clothes off, you still have the holster and a hat. No, you want to do a whole Frozen thing because you kind of look like her, but you want to fuck the snowman. I want to get that carrot. Oh oh you know what i've seen porn of that yeah i've seen i've seen a porn of a chick fucking a snowman and that has to be one of my favorite porns ever i want to like cut to the snowman and he's got like a just
Starting point is 03:16:37 a smug look on his face you grab the nose and she bangs herself with it and when she sticks it back he's real happy uh uh do you guys have ice of ice porn ideas ice porn like yeah like ice cubes or i want to do ice cubes but those are a little bit too obvious no you need to get one of those so they make these things for cocktails where you can make these big ice spheres oh you want to you want to insert those spheres into your vagina and then put your clothes on and go out. And it's going to continuously melt and leak. And so the longer you're out there melting, the wetter your pants are getting. So you're going to need a cooler to keep this in the car because you're going to want to pop it in and then head into the store.
Starting point is 03:17:16 Oh, that's cool. You think she needs like a whiskey ice cube tray? Exactly that. Yes. Then it's round and smooth. You don't want to use those like half moons. You don't need that. you got a big handful of that like stuff from zaxby's that the crush yeah yeah get some ideas really took a turn in the third hour, didn't it?
Starting point is 03:17:45 It did. Right into the piss play. We're learning about piss play. We're learning about cosplay. We're learning about all the plays. I didn't know anything about the cosplay community, but I guess the biggest ones are Velma and what was the other one you said?
Starting point is 03:18:03 Scooby-Doo, Rogue. Oh, you're the dog? Yeah. Okay, so there's this dress from Spirit Halloween. There's this dress from Spirit Halloween. There's a Scooby-Doo dress that I did a
Starting point is 03:18:19 masturbation tape in. It was also a hit, too. People liked that one all right dog girls are pretty fun is there anything that would be too like where you'd feel too silly masturbating in that outfit like a request you've gotten where you're like well no that's absurd i'm not gonna dress up as winston churchill i have not gotten a request i have not gotten requests like that where i'm like no i don't want to do that that's too weird i have not gotten a request. I have not gotten requests like that where I'm like, no, I don't want to do that.
Starting point is 03:18:46 That's too weird. I have not really gotten anything like that. I'm pretty open-minded. The cosplays have to fit in with the movie reviews that I'm doing. That's like the only barrier that I have. So any cosplays from a movie, then I'll definitely do a masturbation. Did you do the new Star Wars movies yet?
Starting point is 03:19:10 We talked about Star Wars earlier. Did you see the latest three? Yeah, I saw the latest three. Actually, you know what? I'm glad you went back on this topic because the first time I saw Star Wars was when I was 15, right before The Force Awakens was about to come out.
Starting point is 03:19:27 And so I was like, I've never seen Star Wars. New Star Wars are coming out. Okay, I got to type in Star Wars watch order. The Star Wars watch order I was given was 4, 5, 2, 3, 6. And so I watched it in that order. And then eventually watched one later because this uh watch list order was like oh fuck number one you don't need to watch it but i did watch it anyway um and then after seeing all of star wars with just being 15 and then i watched the force awakens like three times because
Starting point is 03:20:01 when it first came out all of my my teachers were freaking the fuck out. They're like, oh my goodness, it's Star Wars again. We gotta watch Star Wars. It's time to watch The Force Awakens in class. So I had three different teachers show me The Force Awakens in class. What sort of nonsense school is this? You've watched Star Wars
Starting point is 03:20:21 three times. A long movie. Her classmates write two-page things with no punctuation they have nothing to do that way it was really close to uh winter break and so i had finished i think we finished all of our work for like before going to winter break so this guy was like oh well we're just gonna watch star wars it's cool i'm such a big fan of this star wars i'm like i get it okay there is a soccer ball man soccer ball droid over here cool bb8 cool guy i haven't seen any of the star wars thing because ray would work she has that like flowy toga thing going on you and the stick like you can show off the goods and still
Starting point is 03:21:05 be in character yeah you weren't here before but a lot of bodysuit cosplay ideas where once the going gets good you're not even that person anymore because you take the bodysuit off and it's gone yeah it's fair yeah uh ray's got accessories i have a leia i have a Leia. I have a Leia dress from the first movie that I have not done a masturbation in, but yet, as of this recording, I'm likely to do these within the next few weeks. But I have done a piss video as Leia, which is fun. What did you pee on as Leia?
Starting point is 03:21:43 I just... It was just outside. I bet you get Boogie to dress up his job at the hut and piss on him. Oh my goodness, that's funny. You probably go, Mika, piss on me. Oh, you know what? Follow me like pussy. That's the collab we all need to see.
Starting point is 03:22:00 I really want to get a slave Leia. A lot of people have requested me to be slave Leia. Yeah. That seems like a layup, right? You know what? I thought of that and I was like, I'm not going to be such a fucking casual.
Starting point is 03:22:12 I won't even say, I won't even bring it up. I don't want to embarrass myself. I wanted to think of some sort of mood brain cosplay fan. All right. Well, Lord of the, if you watch Lord of the Rings,
Starting point is 03:22:22 it's not going to help you. There's like one, there's two female characters. Yeah, they don't talk much. And they don't talk much, and neither of them are hot. I don't think any Lord of the Rings fans are. Well, one wears the helmet. You could still be dressed while naked.
Starting point is 03:22:36 I think Liv Tyler's pretty hot. No. She's got her dad's mouth, and it's all weird. Some people super dig her. i didn't like her i remember watching lord of the rings as like a 10 year old in 2001 when the first one came out around there and being like what the hell is aragorn into this elf bitch like there's gotta be like aragorn you're king of the castle here you're a dunedain you'reedain you're a big deal and you're gonna be with this with Stephen
Starting point is 03:23:07 it's like when you see a black guy with a really ugly white chick he's got an elf he's got an elf what does that mean well he's a human but he's gotten himself an elf oh yeah fair yeah so a bottom shelf elf
Starting point is 03:23:23 is still an elf you might be right yeah she's like immortal yeah magical power she pulled a spell halfway through the movie and made a river wash away demons yeah but that wasn't even uh that wasn't even her that did that in the books bro it was glorfindel who did that i i don't know anything about Glorfindel. Who is Glorfindel? He wasn't in the movies. He was the actual character in the books who grabbed Frodo and got him to Rivendell.
Starting point is 03:23:52 They used Arwen instead in the movies because introducing a new elven warrior named Glorfindel would have been too much, I think. You can tell Tolkien was just, when he got to naming the elves, I think you've said this before, but he just rhymes all the goddamn names. He's like Pinky and Winky and Dinky
Starting point is 03:24:09 and Slinky and Minky. How can you tell the difference if they're all rhyming? You can't really. It's the dwarves that he just got to rhyming. That's what I mean, yeah. Gimli and Gloin and Groin and Froin and Frayn and Trayn and Thrayn. Those are all real.
Starting point is 03:24:26 Those are all real? All of those except for one was real. I don't know which. It's all silly. So yeah, watch the movies. Maybe they'll inspire you. I think Liv Tyler's hot. Like from Armageddon, Liv Tyler. When they're going to blow up that...
Starting point is 03:24:40 God damn you. God damn you. Woody. Good damn you. Hang on. Woody. Good fucking movie. I don't think I ever got your movie recommendation. What movie would you recommend me to review? Oh, shucks.
Starting point is 03:24:54 A movie for you to review? Yeah. Kyle wants to help me and I need help. Shit. What have I watched lately that's a good... Tell her The Fifth Element because then she can wear that bandage thing lately that's a good tell her the fifth element because then she can wear that bandage thing and she gets a good bruce willis movie holy just ask kyle twice clearly this is the way to go all right kyle more movie recommendations the fifth element
Starting point is 03:25:16 the fifth element yeah yeah yeah that's a very good movie you got gary oldman is the bad guy you got chris tucker is the comic relief you've got um our boy um bruce willis as the as the lead you got mila jovovich as the sexiest fuck like secret weapon fifth element magical superior being you get to go to this like crazy opera show performed by a blue bitch with like crazy hair um it's a wild ride it's its own universe they made a whole universe it's like nothing you've ever seen before exactly. It's futuristic. It feels lived in. There's a part where Bruce Willis smokes a cigarette,
Starting point is 03:25:50 but in the future, the cigarette's mostly butt. It's like the reverse of a regular cigarette, where it's a little butt and a lot of tobacco, but in the future, it's a super healthy bitch, so it's all filter and a little tobacco on there. Good movie. Mila Jovovich, though, wears this... It's like bandages.
Starting point is 03:26:05 It's like horizontal bandages around her body and with two vertical strips maybe, and that's it. The whole movie. I've got a thing. You could do Mean Girls and the cosplay to act like them is super easy. They wear just
Starting point is 03:26:21 schoolgirl clothes. I actually have done Mean Girls, and I think I wore pink in that review because I reviewed it on a Wednesday. like them is super easy they were just schoolgirl clothes i actually have done mean girls and i think i wore pink in that review because it makes sense i reviewed it on a wednesday there's mean girls too though have you guys seen when girls too oh you could do barbie and then you could do a whole vore thing where you've got kin you got the fucking kin doll and you're like you're not cutting it kim this is barbie's world i'm a girl in a barbie world and you bite its fucking head off damn i it, Kim. This is Barbie's world. I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world. And you bite its fucking head off.
Starting point is 03:26:46 Damn, I should have done that for my Barbie video. It's like magic. You can always go back. And then it's just a montage of you stomping on stuff. Let's go, Barbie. Let's go, Barbie. But it's like looking up at you. You just like stomp all over the camera.
Starting point is 03:26:56 Have you seen the Barbie movie, Kyle? Or are you just remembering this from the commercials? Okay. None of the above. Have you done Basic Instinct yet? Mint? What'd you say? Have you done Basic Instinct yet? Mint? have you done Basic Instinct? I don't think I have
Starting point is 03:27:09 it's actually a good movie that you would very much enjoy and the fucking porn writes itself that's the only scene of that movie I've seen the porn scene? yeah is her crossing her legs
Starting point is 03:27:25 and vagina she so the deal is she is a writer and she wrote a book about murdering a about a woman who murders her lover while they're having sex and gets away with it and then she in real life murders her lover during sex with an ice pick or did she that's the mystery and she's being interviewed by this detective and she's smoking hot she's wearing this like sleeveless um white dress it's very tight and she's cool calm and collected smoking a cigarette in the government building they're like you can't smoke what are you gonna do arrest me she lights that bitch up and the fat guy from seinfeld newman is the one interviewing, and he's sweating bullets because she's so fucking hot, I guess. She uncrosses and then recrosses her legs and flashes her vagina.
Starting point is 03:28:10 Just her shaved vagina is in shot for half a second, and everybody in the room is like, we just saw her vagina, and she knows they just saw her vagina, and it's a very power play. It's a fun moment. It's a good movie. She plays an over-the-top
Starting point is 03:28:26 super genius who's just always the smartest person in every conversation. And then there's Kurt Russell. Is that the other guy? Uh-uh. Douglas? It's Michael Douglas. Michael Douglas. Thank you. And he's almost as smart as she is.
Starting point is 03:28:41 And he's trying to catch her. It's really smart. It is both written for the porn scene and an actual movie you'd enjoy she's so hot that Michael Douglas is like 90% sure that this bitch likes to fuck and kill
Starting point is 03:28:56 people during sex like when she while she comes she likes to kill a man he's 90% sure but she wants to fuck him so he's fucking her in the bed and she's like trying to tie him up and stuff and he's just like worth it going along with it like not knowing if she's gonna kill him it's almost becomes a rush for him now because he realizes she might kill me but it might be worth it it's just crazy i think you'll really like the movie and like I said,
Starting point is 03:29:25 you'll totally know how to run with it. Have you seen the brown bunny that has a real blowjob scene in it? I've only seen that scene. No, I haven't seen the brown bunny. Okay, it's the only part that's worth the movie. What's the actress's name? It's a weird name.
Starting point is 03:29:43 Vincent Gallo? That's the guy who wrote it. it no the girl who's sucking the dick oh the i i heard her interviewed about it i'm sure zach's looking up her name um apparently the male actor is her ex-boyfriend and she had this thought process where she's like this doesn't even change my body count like i'll just suck his dick again. I've done it before. Have you seen Nymphomaniac? It's got a ton of A-list actors and there's full penetrative sex where they bring in
Starting point is 03:30:17 porn stars and fake cocks for that. I'm pretty sure Shia LaBeouf comes on camera, so there's no faking it. Shia LaBeouf is a real actor. Remember when he cut his... He like scratched his face up and didn't take a shower for Fury? He nutted in Nymphomaniac.
Starting point is 03:30:35 He didn't give a fuck. I've only seen it once and it's a little blurry, but I just remember being like, Jesus, there's a lot of dicks in this. Have you seen Nine Songs? No, I haven't probably certain parts of it dude nine songs is maybe the sexiest movie i've ever seen i don't know if there's full penetrative sex but there's no getting around the fact that his tongue is in that cooter um
Starting point is 03:30:57 and like it it was on netflix for a while which like got a lot of attention like oh my god there's fucking literal porn on Netflix. There's a cooter on the Netflix, honey! I couldn't tell you what that show was about, but you don't need to know, because from sex scene to sexy never takes more than ten minutes or so. That sounds sexy.
Starting point is 03:31:17 There's a subreddit for that. It's called The Extra Mile, if anybody's curious. It's nothing but clips from movies, films, where people are having real unsimulated sex huh i would think more movies would fake the sex scenes they're going most of them do right an extra mile gets fooled sometimes like what looks like a real sex scene is a dildo so the classic one is monster's ball i think halle Berry, and what's our boy's name? Fucking Billy Bob Thornton.
Starting point is 03:31:48 We like them French fry potatoes. Billy Bob Thornton. I had to do that to get there. Billy Bob Thornton is almost certainly fucking Halle Berry in that scene. You see his balls smacking and sticking to her, and it's just like, I think y'all are fucking. Yeah, everyone thinks they had sex there. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:32:05 And they're both like actors. Good for Billy Bob. Billy Bob was with the, um, what's her fucking name? Angelina Jolie. Angelina Jolie for years and years. Like Billy Bob must have something going on.
Starting point is 03:32:17 Right. Like, like what, what kind of charisma does Billy Bob? She saw him in bad Santa and was like, I need this guy. He's so funny. That was before that.
Starting point is 03:32:24 Oh, like, like, I don't know how the best movies ever i love bad santa yeah if you watch the uh i don't know if it's the unrated or extended cut it's much darker film it's less comedic and much sad much more sad i don't want that i already get sad enough when you see that poor fat dejected, loner kid. Like, when Billy Bob doesn't fully embrace him at times and is kind of like, get the hell out of here, you weirdo. Want a sandwich?
Starting point is 03:32:51 I'm always like, oh, come on. What is with you and making fucking sandwiches? Be there for the little fat kid because he needs you. You're his only friend, Billy Bob, and you haven't realized you're his only friend yet. I beat the shit out of some kids today. Made me feel good. Yeah. You're one only friend, Billy Bob, and you haven't realized you're his only friend yet. I beat the shit out of some kids today. Made me feel good. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:33:07 You're one fucked up individual. It's like fucking great. I love that movie. It's dark as shit. I like the black midget character. He's good. I love the black midget and his Korean wife. She's sick, too.
Starting point is 03:33:16 She's going around all snooty, picking out the shit to steal. That's a great film. And John Ritter, rest his soul, amazing actor. He was always good in everything he did. He's like the manager that Bernie Mac's going to, and he's telling them about the ass-fucking and the big and tall section and everything. It's just, oh.
Starting point is 03:33:37 Oh, wow. Do you have any movie recommendations for us? Any content recommendations that we could check out oh boy uh i got let's see a few let me go through my list actually poultry guys yeah i do not recommend poultry guys that's not a movie i recommend um okay you know what's a really good movie i really liked what is it called uh it's like i'm really getting to korean films so i really like oak jaw train of basan is also a really good movie um oak jaw there's also bullet train very fun what is that is that like another korean horror uh that one is not a korean horror i think it's
Starting point is 03:34:26 um i don't know actually who is is but i do know that's it's it's it takes place on a train and we got a bunch of assassins on on a train it's actually from the creator of nobody snowpiercer and also better call small uh better call saul i liked better call saul oh uh bob ogenkirk yeah um yeah uh bullet train is pretty fun and it's pretty epic uh is that one it's a very fun movie very fast-paced and it's very i would say i don't know if and like very anime and also comic book based on the title cards that show up every time uh there's like a character introduction like it will show their name and it's like stylized it's pretty cool and each character is like really cool i have my number here's my number one recommendation for you
Starting point is 03:35:25 you've gone on and on about uh art and color man yeah man mandy mandy has these mandy it has these color scapes every time we shift to a new color new stuff is going on and the basic plot of mandy is nicholas cage is on a drug-fueled revenge uh fest against evil and and along the way he's abusing cocaine and like some sort of experimental lsd so his perceptions are altered and you'll have these dark reds and blues and greens and and it's i love it i i haven't seen it in a while i'm waiting until the next time i do acid to watch it. Like, I really want to do it on acid just because of those colors. And it's a movie about acid, like the evil characters in this movie.
Starting point is 03:36:15 Their backstory is they were like outlaw bikers, murderous outlaw bikers who did LSD and their drug supplier made a special batch to poison them because he wanted to kill them. But it just mutated them into these crazed, even scarier versions where they've self-mutilated quite a bit. But Nick Cage actually does a good job. Most of his movies are crap these days, to be honest. But I love Mandy. I love Mandy. I'll definitely have to check that out. Have you seen Hobo with a Shotgun? does a good job you know most of his movies are crap these days to be honest but i love mandy i love mandy i'll definitely have to check that out uh have you seen hobo with a shotgun yes
Starting point is 03:36:50 ah that's such a cool movie i really like uh when the hobo like i don't know if it's called a heel turn when he turns from being meek to being a super badass guy. And just like start shooting everyone with the shotgun. That was pretty freaking sweet. And I really liked the colors in that movie a lot. It's also a movie I recommend to anyone. I liked how many times during Hobo with the Shotgun, people, even after he got serious with his shotgun, would be like, what are you planning to do?
Starting point is 03:37:23 What are you fixing to do with that there shotgun you gonna kill me in front of my sons here and then he just just shoots him and then like that happened like four times prior where someone would be like he's too much of a bitch he ain't gonna shoot us and then he just blow their head off and then they had to relearn that lesson over and over he was serious about his shotgun to shift the conversation a little bit i've been what i'm on my police video kick again i can't tell you how many people when the cops point a gun at them and tell them to get on the ground their response is what i do what i do i didn't do nothing i didn't do nothing the idea of questioning them when they've got their gun pointed at you is so foreign to me.
Starting point is 03:38:06 Dude, I'm getting on the ground. I'm screaming back the blue. The blue line! The blue line! Everyone, everyone, open your eyes! Let them do what they want! I certainly don't do what I see some people do, which is decide that it's like a dance-off at that point. And they start
Starting point is 03:38:25 jumping around, erratically moving. It's like, no, that's... That's how you get shot. I like to show them how quickly I can produce my ID. Yeah. It impresses them. Impressed?
Starting point is 03:38:43 How quickly you can reach... Remember that guy in Southolina got killed for that they told him to get his id and he like it was um he had a truck and with a bench seat i think it was right in the middle of the bench seat so he like opened the driver's side door and sort of jumped in to reach past where he sits to get his id and they murdered him yeah and they murdered him and they murdered him yeah i see that him. And they murdered him, yeah. That's what I like about those videos. You get an unfiltered kind of thing.
Starting point is 03:39:11 So I'll see cops be heroes and I'll see cops be criminals. I'll see the bad. Sometimes I'm like, man, this guy didn't even do anything that bad. Y'all should leave him the fuck alone. And then sometimes it's like, get him! Hit him! Stop listening to his bullshit! Fucking spray him! Spray him! Shoot him! I saw to his bullshit. Fucking spray him, spray him, shoot him. I saw one where it was just a black granny
Starting point is 03:39:28 who had pissed herself in the grocery store. Now, she's like 57 and drunk as a skunk, but she pissed herself in the grocery store. Grocery store, new setting for you, man. Nothing weird so far. Nice. But the thing was, she made no effort to clean it up, and she continued to shop.
Starting point is 03:39:45 And so they call the cops, and they walk up to her, like, ma'am, how's it going today? All right. Do you have a little accent over there in the aisle? I sure did. I had to go, and I couldn't find the restroom. And she's like, I'm old. I'm 57 years old. It's not that old.
Starting point is 03:40:03 Catcher's craze here. What do you mean? I was like 57 is not piss yourself age no you meant so many kids you've had i guess but they locked her up and i was kind of feeling like man i want her granddaughters with her you know i was like let that lady go like she she didn't maliciously piss your floor she's's just a shitty drunk person. Did she drive her granddaughter there? That, to me... Oh, you're right. Yeah, she's got to go. Oh, she was drunk.
Starting point is 03:40:30 I thought you meant... Oh, that's why she pissed herself. I thought you meant she was just so incontinent, she just started pissing in the fruit section and was like, whatever, this is what we're doing now. Basically, but... You can't let somebody walk around food pissing, and that's gross.
Starting point is 03:40:46 It depends who it is. No, it doesn't. It does. It's really all about how hot she is. The meat section, everything's sealed up, Taylor. What's your problem? You guys sold me right away. You don't want someone who looks like me pissing in the meat section. I get arrested right away. No, you don't get to who looks like me pissing in the meat section. I get arrested right away.
Starting point is 03:41:06 No, you don't get to piss anywhere but a bathroom. Oh, I'm being dragged out. I couldn't find the bathroom! Fucking pervert! Nobody takes my side in that situation. No, you know what? I'm okay with that.
Starting point is 03:41:24 I'm okay with that because i i see oftentimes in porn like there'll be a chick masturbating in a car like in a parking lot you can see people behind her and stuff and it's like oh that's okay but the opposite is not okay for some reason there's a dude jerking in a car in a parking lot like we need to we need to get this guy lock him up right away i'm gonna shut that shut that down. That's a danger to all of us. Whoa, this is not how the parking garage at O'Hare is meant to be used, sir. That's step one to being fucking Jared Fogle or whatever. You're on your way.
Starting point is 03:41:56 I have it on good authority. He's a great guy. Misunderstood. I've heard that. I've heard many people. Many people. I mean, we had a friend, a guest on the show who was Jared Fogle's good friend, best friend growing up. Do you know Jared Fogle, the subway
Starting point is 03:42:10 pedophile dude? I didn't know his last name was Fogle, but I did know his first name was Jared. Yeah. We thought of him as a car guy. We didn't know that he grew up as Jared's best friend. He just told us what
Starting point is 03:42:25 he was like and yeah he called the ladies of the night he he he like he he called the victims by the way they're like 14 15 year old like midwestern looking girls like not girls who are like you know on social media pushing themselves and these are little 14, 15-year-old frumpy girls, Sarah Plain and Tall. And our guest was like, yeah, those ladies of the night, they took money. They took money. Because they were paid.
Starting point is 03:42:57 Everybody's dirty in this situation. He was like, you know, but he got taken advantage of by those whores. I was going to say something, but I felt like I had been shitty to like three guests in a row. And it was one of y'all's turn to stand up to him. I called out the guy who got fake stabbed. I called out the guy who who who abandoned his children with the murderous wife.
Starting point is 03:43:20 Like it was. I do remember I didn't let the Fogel stuff stand. I'm like, no, he he touched those he diddled those girls we all know he yeah had did that but but our boy was talking those 14 year olds and then following it up with a foot long sweet onion chicken teriyaki that's the worst sandwich that's what he was doing man well he had a card that would be that would give you free anything at subway that he'd flex to the girls he'd be like i can get you all the macadamia cookies you want ladies dude if someone if i was like good friends with someone who's like i got a subway black card
Starting point is 03:43:55 my my uncle works there at corporate i get free subway no matter what i'd be like that's great you can brag about it more on the way to Chipotle. Like, I'm not going to fucking Subway sucks. It's not good. Subway's okay. I'd rather have like Jimmy John's or Firehouse. Yeah, Jimmy John's. I'm over here calculating how many cookies I need to suck a dick, and Taylor's going to Chipotle.
Starting point is 03:44:17 Okay, fine. If we go to Chipotle, I get a nice bowl, and then we pop by Subway, and we absolutely clear out the white chocolate macadamia nut cookies i'm fine with that they go in and they're like what do you want on your sandwich sir and i'm like i want every white chocolate macadamia and they're like oh interesting this was the last bet now we're gonna have to make a new batch today and then they're gonna expect money you're not baking things back there go get them out of the box go yeah go get these they're pretty good cookies i've slept up and gotten a cookie at subway maybe and they're pretty fun cookies in subway
Starting point is 03:44:50 uh the chocolate white chocolate one the like the brown cookie with the white chocolate chips that's my favorite although you know what has the best cookies but is also frozen cookies jimmy john's jimmy john's do not does not bake their cookies? Jimmy John's. Jimmy John's does not bake their cookies for shit. It's in the freezer in the back. And I know this because I used to work at a Jimmy John's. You're dropping the Jimmy John's tea. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:45:15 Okay. First of all, they're new. They have really gross wraps now because Arby's bought them, and so now they're just a fast food restaurant with a bunch of different random options, including this wrap. I mean, the chicken bacon ranch wrap is decent, but it sucks on just some French bread.
Starting point is 03:45:39 Oh, man. You said you liked Jimmy John's. Yeah, I like all those sandwich places like the better sandwich places that are more on like a chipotle level like a little bit better than subway yeah what's your favorite sandwich though um i usually get like a club sub like bacon ham and turkey i don't want any of the if i can have whatever i want i'm getting like a club sub i never go to jimmy johns their bread is too hard I'm getting a club sub. I never go to Jimmy John's. Their bread is too hard.
Starting point is 03:46:07 I'm getting pepperoncinis on there, getting olives on there. All the bread I've had from Jimmy John's tastes old. I don't think I've ever been to Jimmy John's. Firehouse Subs is good, too. I like Schlotzky's back in the day. The Schlotzky's classic ham sandwich or whatever it was
Starting point is 03:46:23 had this olive paste that was just really delicious. To die for. To die for. Oh, man. I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten. I've been sick for a couple days now,
Starting point is 03:46:36 and so I haven't eaten today. Now I'm starving. You're going to feast after this? What's the best what restaurant? What's the best sandwich restaurant in your guys' opinion? Probably Firehouse or Jimmy John's. Jimmy John'smy johns at least jimmy johns insane that's a ridiculous take firehouse firehouse i'm trying to think of like national sandwich chains firehouse is better than jimmy johns for sure fucking blimpy is better than jimmy johns forgot about blimpy
Starting point is 03:47:02 quiz nose is better than jimmy johnsnos is better than Jimmy John's. I haven't seen Quiznos in a long time. I feel like Quiznos is on the out. I haven't seen one of those in years. Do you guys know what Wawa is? It's like 7-Eleven. It's heavy in New Jersey. They make better sandwiches than anyone
Starting point is 03:47:19 we've mentioned so far. New Jersey, Philly, Virginia. It's all down in the East Coast, actually, where Wawa's are. I wish we had a Wawa here. A grocery store that has good sandwiches is Publix. Publix has some good stuff. That bread hurts my gums. Hurt your gums? I've only had good
Starting point is 03:47:35 experiences at Publix. It's like eating not even ciabatta. It's like a giant crouton. I'm eating it. You ever eat Cap'n Crunch cereal and it fucks your gums up behind your teeth I wasn't allowed to have sweet cereal as a kid we're an adult man now
Starting point is 03:47:50 our parents loved us and I had Cap'n Crunch sometimes go watch one of the 500 movies you missed out on have a bowl of Cap'n Crunch and you'll be able to relate to me a little bit when I tell you that it fucks your gums up and that's how a public sandwich fucks my gums up because it's that old fucking bread they sell me no matter what i order and i also i'm trusting some degenerate to figure out a sandwich that i'm not even there to supervise i'd rather make my own sandwich if
Starting point is 03:48:13 i'm getting fast food or like yeah if i'm getting fast food the last thing i go to is a sandwich because i have like buying something from subway or jimmy john's or like anything analogous to that i'm always thinking like i could do i'm just like being lazy right now i could just go to the grocery store and get better bread and get better meat and make a better sandwich on my own i can't go and quickly make a double steak double chicken burrito bowl like i can't just quickly go whip that up so i may as well spend the same amount of money and get and get more meat and you can get a good amount of meat from chipotle kidoba those places if you play your cards right and if they have the incorrect number of workers up there because sometimes like sometimes you get screwed where you go in like little after lunch
Starting point is 03:49:03 where they're not that busy and the same guy is like what do you want you're like give me this meat this meat give me the brown rice or white rice whatever you pick and then if that same guy stays with you you really have no option but to let him start to put the first scoop of chicken or beef in and it's not until that first scoop is in that you go actually i want to double that because then an anchor point has been set for what a scoop looks like. Then he'll hit you up with more. You never, ever, ever Don't ever tell them you want double meat prior
Starting point is 03:49:34 to the scoop of the first scoop of meat. Always act befuddled. In conjunction with that, Taylor, you always get the bowl and you get tortillas as a side because you end up with way more you end up with enough food to make your burrito and then like have another taco or burrito or something it's so much food in that bowl yeah dude you used to be
Starting point is 03:49:58 and then you get up to the front and sometimes they have a totally different person working the register who's totally checked out as to what you just did. And then you can pull a fast one. And they're like, what did you get? And you're like, chicken bowl. You don't say double chicken. You don't say double steak. You don't say queso.
Starting point is 03:50:14 And then you get like, you get a $17 bowl for $12. And I walk out, you know, like fucking Kaiser Sose. He's seen a movie yes i walk out i'm limping in the parking lot and i slowly correct you're fixing your head cowlick that was an outstanding reference there is no better place to get your money's worth than chipotle or kidoba when they have too many people working the front i don't even know how to eat there. Oh, they're good. You go to Chipotle, there's some dude, he's asking you all these questions about what you want to eat. I'm like, I don't really know. All the
Starting point is 03:50:52 meals have names that aren't in English. And I'm like, what the fuck is the difference between this and that? They're all just fucking piles of trash food and wrappers, right? Because I feel like something has gone wrong for you. You order a burrito and they're going to say flour or wheat and you're going to say flour.
Starting point is 03:51:08 I'm already stumped. You want a flour tortilla. You want to do the flour tortilla or otherwise it tastes like corn. I don't like corn tortilla. You just tell them what to put in it. They're going to say chicken or steak and then it's up to you. I can handle that one.
Starting point is 03:51:22 You just pick what you want on there. It's just like Subway, but burritos. Now I don't know. Like how many things are they going to add? Like what do you want on here? Okay. How many things are we talking about? Do I get to have all of the things?
Starting point is 03:51:34 Yes. Do I need to pick them up? Okay. So I can help you. So the only thing that costs extra is guac, queso, and the meats that you put in the burrito. And they will add as much. the queso and the meats that you put in the burrito. And they will add as you can just,
Starting point is 03:51:44 you can get, you can say chicken steak and pork and they'll just charge you like four or five extra dollars for the extra pork and steak. But like rice and everything else is free. And if you want black beans and pinto beans, you just, you know, you get half and half. This is wild.
Starting point is 03:51:57 This is wild. No, this is not, I'm not even joking because it's weird to me. They'll be like, Hey, do you want corn? And I'm like,
Starting point is 03:52:02 I don't know. Am I using up one of my precious three choices or can I just have it no it's such a it's such a streamlined process it's like subway you can have as many you have tomatoes onions olives and lettuce or any combination you know pepperoncini is in there too like like oil and vinegar like It doesn't call it... What's a pepper chini? There's little spicy peppers that are in vinegar. Yeah. It's like a little banana pepper. Is it something that grows out of the ground
Starting point is 03:52:33 or do they turn a pepper into a chini? No, it's a pepper. It's a pickle pepper. It's a banana pepper that is in I guess, what is it? I know what a banana pepper is it's like a banana in a vinegar mixture that makes it a little more mild but they add some more spices and stuff in there so it's very good well that's just bullshit they made it milder than spiced it back up yeah
Starting point is 03:52:56 anyway you can throw i i get those on my sandwich every time but yes it's chipotle is subway but with you know mexican food except the only thing that costs more money just like subway is the meats yeah chipotle kidoba those are both the exact same place as far as i'm concerned they are infinitely better than than subway quiz sandwich shops yeah yeah i don't have a i don't have so you're in trump territory i wanted to talk to you about that what's. What's that like being in rural Kentucky? Maybe not fitting in exactly. Where in Kentucky are you? Actually, I'm in the town of the first KFC.
Starting point is 03:53:37 Corbin, Kentucky. The first KFC, best KFC in the world because there's a bunch of tourists and they have to maintain their standards and so the kfc there is bomb it's amazing in that one uh they don't but they do have a museum they have an entire museum and they have a couch they have a couch in this kfc oh shit it's pretty it's epic. There's no Chipotle in this town, but there is a Moe's. I've never been to that Moe's
Starting point is 03:54:11 because it's next to the interstate. I like Moe's because they got a shtick. You go into Moe's, welcome to Moe's! And it gets lazy over time as the day goes on. So then when you walk in, eventually everyone choruses together, Moe's! Your Mo i've never experienced that they have to it's like that bank that that owed kramer the 20 for not saying like hello or whatever like like when you walk into a they yell at you welcome to mo's i didn't know everybody not just one guy like everybody together
Starting point is 03:54:43 i've probably been half a dozen times, not in many years now, but they never sang at me. That's Joe's. That's a bootleg Moe's. You said you don't want to go to Moe's because it's close to the freeway. I mean, that's not the reason. I want to go to Moe's. It's next to the freeway, and so it's kind of out of the way.
Starting point is 03:55:05 But then whenever I am going on to the freeway, it's like, well, there's other food in different towns. I'd rather go to somewhere else than Moe's. But I do want to try Moe's. I've never... It's all the same. Yeah, it tastes pretty similar to Chipotle. Okay. I think maybe guac's included with the Home Wrecker burrito i think that's that's their
Starting point is 03:55:26 only little spin and they suck they have queso that's pretty good queso queso good queso is necessary i gotta check out their queso yeah i love a good queso on the burrito me too yeah i like to dip chips into the queso and eat them it It's like nachos. That's pretty standard. That is. You don't just pour it into little cups and drink it? Oh my god, I've been ruining my queso consumption.
Starting point is 03:55:55 I just chew up a bunch of chips and then pour the hot cheese right into my... Here I have been burning my hands, reaching into the cup, scooping bits of cheese into my face. Have you seen that restaurant experience where they pour the melted cheese all over the food
Starting point is 03:56:13 and they're doing it from up above? I fucking hate that. They should be in prison. I saw a clip where some hobo walking down the street, some filthy mongrel, reaches mid-pour and grabs himself
Starting point is 03:56:24 a big old chunk of cheese and yanks it clear of their dinner. And the man who's sitting there in the foreground goes, like a really gay surprise look. Like, oh! It was the
Starting point is 03:56:39 dinner. Because they're pouring it on a bunch of meat and vegetables it looked like. Now you've got homeless hand germs on the last tendrils of cheese. They don't watch. There's a specific place that I go to. There's a local taco
Starting point is 03:56:56 shop that I go to weekly though. It has the best queso, best fajitas and nachos I've ever had. They have incredibly cheap tacos. It's $1.25 a taco. Pretty solid.
Starting point is 03:57:12 Yeah, and it's like, wow. Is it C Senor Mexico Bar and Grill or Santa Fe Mexican? C Senor. Get out of there, Woody. I'm super curious about Corbin Kentucky. I've been deep diving since she mentioned the town name. They had a race riot
Starting point is 03:57:28 and they rounded up every black person in the town and shipped them out. Yeah, that was like 1921. Federal Express? It was a train, I think. Train's a bad look. I didn't think of that.
Starting point is 03:57:44 Rounded all of them up and sent them out? 1919, yeah. Oh, 1919. What do they call that in Boerhammer, Kyle? Not a Pyrrhic defeat. The decisive victory? Yeah, decisive victory. I used to go to Harlan, Kentucky a lot.
Starting point is 03:58:02 I was like, how similar are these towns? I want to know. Harlan sounds familiar. Something happened there. Is that Dukes of Hazzard? No, that's Hazzard County. There's a Brad Paisley song about Harlan, Kentucky. Maybe that rings a bell.
Starting point is 03:58:16 It's a coal mining town. Would you rather have sex with a homeless person or a dolphin? Don't they both rape? they do that's a great answer oh god uh and and just to be clear whichever one you pick the other one watches oh jesus fuck that's such a hard choice i mean my immediate answer is none of them but that's not an answer no uh dolphin yeah that's the that's the correct answer you you've won uh we're going to send you a uh a one month supply of lock and load i would pick the dolphin too because the dolphin isn't going
Starting point is 03:59:01 to tell anybody he raped me and i can just kill the homeless guy afterward. No witnesses. I can just let myself and make up a story about how I fell on some rebar at a construction site or something. See, I go the other way. A bunch of my friends are homeless, and they're nice people. A lot of your friends are homeless. Not that kind of homeless, Woody. Not a van life.
Starting point is 03:59:17 You don't get to pick and choose what kind of homeless. They have no home. No, gibbering. I bet when he files his taxes, writes some sort of like weird like van living exemption right like super curious about that actually ask him it might be one of those things where he's like shut up don't ask about how i filed my residency hank hill he was molested by a van and he turned out just fine one of my residency. Remember Hank Hill? He was molested by an orphan and he turned out just fine. One of my homeless friends upgraded his
Starting point is 03:59:47 home to a school bus. He's not homeless. Not real. Mint, let me ask you. It's great to have a young lady's perspective on such matters. Woody has some friends who are fairly well-to-do. They have money. They could have a real home if they wished, but they choose to do
Starting point is 04:00:03 this van life thing that you might be familiar with where they just kind of become homeless and live in a kind of pimped out van but not really and travel around the country. Sort of living in Walmart parking lots and camping grounds
Starting point is 04:00:18 and never really getting a good full shower. You know. They have gym memberships. Planet Fitness. Oh, come on. Have you seen the shower at a gym? I mean, you can getting a good full shower. They have gym memberships. Planet Fitness. Have you seen the shower at a gym? You can also go to truck stops. Truck stops is the way. You're right.
Starting point is 04:00:35 That's fine. Does that seriously lower a guy's sexual market value if he lives in a van? It depends on the question. So the situation is going to be this. He has driven your van to a parking lot near you. Lucky you. And he's hitting you up
Starting point is 04:00:54 on Tinder or something saying, hey, my name's fucking Chad. I'm a van life vagabond. I've been all over the country and I'm lucky for you. I'm at Los Cuomos Tacos over here at $1.25 each it's and i'm having a few would you like to come bang in my van that i travel the world in there's no way i'm getting in that guy's van i would be so scared like he's got you know what one of them he started with the double mattress
Starting point is 04:01:20 and then he found out he had far fewer partners than he hoped and he's like i could use the floor space level who am i kidding scary it's scary to like i don't want to hang out with another man in his van yeah i wouldn't want to be seen getting out of it right like imagine it's if like you just walk you're at the park with your buddies you're throwing horseshoes and you look up and like two dudes get out of the back of an at ford arrow star all sweaty yeah that's gay as hell and they come over they want to throw horseshoes too but i ain't having it and you're like come on kyle let them play and i start dropping slurs yeah you're missing the worst part of it like you you check out the van right because there's been upgrades and he's real the one i'm talking about super handy very good craftsman and just like i can't
Starting point is 04:02:07 tell you he's a he's an artist type craftsman i've seen him make a coffee table out of a propeller and an airplane skull you'd be shocked he takes human bones so his his van is just perfection everywhere it's perfect it's so nicely done and you go in there and you're like, wow, this is great. And then you realize it smells a little like a diaper. And they're like, the chemical toilet hasn't been cleaned. It's in here somewhere. That's gross.
Starting point is 04:02:35 That's gross. That's van life, man. I would rather stick with house life. You know what it's like? It's like that Simpsons episode with Milhouse's dad and Homer, and he's like, I've got a race car bed. Do you sleep in a race car bed? And he's like, no, I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Starting point is 04:02:54 Oh, I sleep in a big bed with my wife. Milhouse's dad is like, shit, that's way better than a race car bed. Check this out, Homer. Do you sleep in a race car bed? No, I sleep in a big bed with my wife. That only happened once. Isn't that kind of what Milhouse's dad
Starting point is 04:03:14 sounds like? Where he's like, what do you say, Luann? You want to get married again? And then she's like, no! And he kicks him out of the house. She always had a smoking hot boyfriend, though. It was like I think maybe she was like dating McBain at one point. You know, she was dating one of the American gladiators.
Starting point is 04:03:31 That was the lore. Yeah. Like, wow, it's Axel. It was Axel. Something like that. It was like torque or rod or something. It would have been rod, though, because it's already a rod. Yeah.
Starting point is 04:03:44 Well, you guys. That's probably a wrap there. Mitt, we really appreciate you coming on, hanging out with us for all four hours. It was fun. You really made it interesting. I thought it was really fun that the way we learned more about you as the show went on. I'm glad we saved pee for the third hour.
Starting point is 04:04:00 That was fun. We'll put links to all of your P and non related sites and such down below in the description thanks for coming on though any other shout outs any other accounts you want to promote so I do
Starting point is 04:04:18 daily movie reviews on youtube.com slash ASC presents every day at 7pm.m et and then um oh i do i do the clip of her show uh for canon's sake dot live that's just um if you're interested in drama specifically related to eric july it's like drama and hating shit. If you're interested in that, we do that pretty much daily.
Starting point is 04:04:49 If you're not interested in that, I do have my daily show and also you can go check out my Fansly is my main spicy site. I got it in my Linktree link. tr.e. Titsman salad.
Starting point is 04:05:06 It's on the screen. And what else do I have? I do daily. I do movie review requests. If you want to request me to do a movie review, you can do that for $20. Patreon.com slash ASC presents. And also my Twitter
Starting point is 04:05:25 autistic boobs. Twitter dot com slash autistic boobs. Alright. I just followed you. So there we go. Hey! Woohoo! Glad to get that follow. I don't think she stopped moving the whole four hours. No. You know what?
Starting point is 04:05:41 Don't tell people you're autistic. Tell them you're Italian. And then that... That worked out well. Check out all of Min's stuff below. Thank you so much for joining us. Get yourself jacked. Get yourself laid. Impress the girls with your cum shots. PKA 682.

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