Painkiller Already - PKA 683 W/ Harley: Fatphobia Isn't Okay, Keem Yells At Harley, Travis Kelce Does The Impossible

Episode Date: January 20, 2024

pka 683 with our guest harley taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaoh distro.com blue chew and lock and load a bunch of wonderful products wonderful sponsors talk more about them later harley how have you been in the past five weeks since we were hanging out since i last saw you bad really oh no you made me depressed i made you depressed yeah you got me smoking like six hash joints a day yeah but it kind of started a bit before you so maybe it's not entirely you it could be entirely me okay but since i've seen you it's been bad but like good bad you know every night i spent a day with taylor and since then you've just been smoking top and bottoming gay relationships yeah it just took three four days with me and now he's

wasn't a day with taylor there's a lot of taylor this is pretty cool taylor i thought about it i was like i guess taylor like caught up with as much time as i've spent with you woody in real life like really fast it was like uh me and you was a couple times taylor was like uh uh an intensive course it was it was like like a summer like three hour course where every morning i was waking up and i was just like harley who's harley's the fucking man harley's the ultimate like hangout guy because like i just i'd be on my phone early morning having coffee i'd be like i wonder what's going on i'm gonna text harley see what's up before i

can even like text him he's like here's the plan yeah you were very polite i saw i had to do that because you were very polite you were like no i don't want to i'm not going to try and intrude on that and i'm like oh dude i already lied and told him that you're my cousin and you're like no i don't want to do that i'm like no no but it's cool it's cool it's all good but uh we did uh spend a lot of shows up like i am trying way too hard to fit in the saddest part was uh was how much uh we brought up kyle and woody oh yeah i was i just i just wanted my other my other buddies there yeah especially kyle on range day we just really uh it would have been so fun i mean you love you know how cuckold porn works like i'd sit there and watch

no no we thought we we thought quite a bit no no no see you don't misunderstand see i'd sit there and sort of pretend like i was shooting a gun while you did it every time so it felt like i was no we had a plan that at the end you would have you'd be the only person in the line who was shooting the big SUV. You would shoot with a bow and arrow. I see. And it would be kind of silly. We could have got explosive arrows. I think explosive arrows.

That'd be like when the king has his fool come out and like silly night guard, but he's got a wooden sword. And they have him fight like a big stuffed animal. Well, it's not like we're going to be like, all right, Kyle, go up there and shoot the bow and arrow. And then as you're going up there to shoot it, Harley and I are like skittering back to the car like, what a queer, we're going to go get dinner.

Like, no, we'd hang out. We'd have a good time. What other fun stuff can Kyle watch us do that he doesn't participate in? Kyle, would you like to watch us like zipline? You could stand on the ground while we go by. Dude, you want to come watch me vote? I want to watch from where they start because I don't want to be with the group when everybody's

having fun after i just want to see them leave me with their phone oh you know if i were shooting a gun are you allowed to come up and hold me from behind and put your finger over mine i think so yeah as long as you don't touch the metal that That's kind of like an air bug rule style. What's so crazy is I would love to start a channel with FPS Russia where he's standing behind me and pulling the trigger, like pulling my finger, pulling the trigger, like just the full loophole, please. Just looking for trouble.

You don't understand. Like FPS Russia comes back, like a big mealtime comes back, and I need this money. Yeah, that would. So next time, think about it, Kyle. Because who knows? When big Trump, when he gets back in office, he might hook you up. He was in office when I lost my rights.

Yeah, but this time he's playing for keeps. He's the person that locked him up. Yeah. Yeah, but he feels bad you up. He was in office when I lost my rights. Yeah, but this time he's playing for keeps. He's literally the person that locked him up. Yeah, but he feels bad about it. I know how it feels now. Now I'm sitting in your shoes. I get it. I get it. You guys say you guys spoke about the Jew tunnels

without me. We only got into it briefly i bet you were mad as hell when you saw the specs on those huh i'm never fitting in that tunnel little jews dude when they pulled that one hasidim out and he's got the sideburns and i see them but i don't believe them thank That's Hesh from Sopranos. That's a good episode. It was like, man, there's got to be like Jewish public relations officer somewhere. The one who's in charge of all y'all was like, oh, we have we've spent a millennia trying to prove to the Gentiles that we don't live in underground tunnels like rodents and crawl out of them all under this guy's like he's in like the head jewish office on his phone talking to

like a head gentile he's like yeah steven we you wouldn't guess but we love sports too we love it hold on my secretary noah's coming in i need to check on it what's up noah is this urgent well you're gonna hate this they they found the tunnels no no they didn't find the tunnels i didn't find the bloody mattresses in the strollers too did they i was getting to that that it's a bad look it's like it looked like shitty blood hey that stain like blood shit looks like a blood shit stain i don't know come out well that's why i'm mad that i wasn't here for the conversation because i don't know fucking anything about those tunnels wrong place we here's what we knew we knew there were bloody mattresses and like a high chair or something it seemed to go

from a newsstand to a synagogue and as far as i could tell just went like under a street like it didn't go very far i heard some things but it's hard to go get through like accurately get through what's real and what are the jew lies so i'm just gonna tell you guys like what i what i saw because i i googled it because people were like on twitter they're like yo yeah harley you're one of the good ones what's up with the tunnels rsk by the way and you're like i don't care how cool i am i'm not sharing the group chat so i'm like looking at these tunnels and reading about apparently they use the strollers as wheelbarrows to like make it and i'm like nah i don't know if that's what the strollers are for but also like at the same time i don't think i don't think the strollers were to bring

bring babies down there you know were they like stealing babies cutting off their foreskin and putting them back in the crib without anyone being the wiser? We're just asking questions. I'm just, you know, I think also like human traffic, like when you're Andrew Tate and you have like three 20 year olds with you and you're like, and you're walking with them. People don't think anything. This guy pulled up in a Bugatti. He's got three girls. They don't know that he is, you know, allegedly making them go on cam and do all that.

You know, I don't think there's like a an equivalent to that i don't think there's like rabbis with like like bringing hoes in to the tunnels and making them film cam stuff and and taking a cut of it or anything like that um so what what type of tomfoolery could they be getting up to down there well like what is it i think they're fucking each other i think it was the innocent version something sinister the innocent version is and and it was the one that because i love your people i was quick to to like yeah maybe that they they said during covid times they wouldn't let us go to synagogue we weren't having that bullshit we go to synagogue if the lord wants to take us he will you know and that and i was like you know what that's some down south kind of shit i can understand that that's that's what the preacher

would have people doing he's like he'd have people go into the gas station going underground sneaking into the church of god and getting baptized and shit i can understand that that that overzealous religiousness but like that's like that came out they think it's coming back so are they is that their way of telling us that like they're dropping a new covid on us again i hope not like they're but i got i read that same thing kyle but then like within the same day i heard more news people being like fact check uh these the construction on these tunnels started seven months ago well after the covid lockdowns or something yeah i heard that it started after covid also yeah that's what threw that off them calling it tunnels makes it seem like it's for like traveling somewhere else

it seems like it's like an underground like hideout there's a there's a synagogue and behind it is a chabad house the head the hq and that's like a place like uh from what i understand like we could i could pull up there right now. Not you guys, by the way. Well, let me see your penis. I'm good. I can get you in. I can get you in. Did you forget it?

Maybe I just show his and I'm like, wow, you're going to check all of us. Come on. These guys. Yeah, he's got his cock. Yamaka. Okay. I always wear it. But those they share a back.

Like if I could go to one of those about houses on a Shabbat, and they'll have a goy for me to flip on and off the lights. But like, that's what you could do. And like, it's like a whole, it's like a thing. And they had during COVID. This is like the synagogue that didn't shut down. Like, they weren't listening when they had those videos of like a thousand, like, Hasidic Jewish people all chilling together and doing the thing.

Yeah. Yeah, this one it shares a backyard so underground apparently there isn't much distance for the basements to touch and they wanted to connect it and they they connect it and you look at it these are all men without wives like they haven't been married yet so like when you're done praying for 10 hours what do you what are you doing what's going on down there and it connects to like uh this type of bath that uh like let's say you are going to get married like you're you're like your wife would take a bath in this bath if you're super religious you bathe in this bath like a couple times and it was like an old

one down there and i'm just seeing i'm sharing like like this poopoo blood on the mattress uh this bath house there's some just some gay sex going on down here like they must be sucking each other off down there like gays would have sex in a cleaner place anti-semitic not not acidic gays it's a whole different type of gay that we're like we have no idea how they look like through a hole in a sheet is that what they gotta go underground to god can't see because like see that's the difference jesus is with you everywhere jewish like he's up there so if you go in deep enough like he's not gonna see that is a hilarious part about jewish law like if you look into it a bit is the amount of it that is in the entire purpose

is to get around their own rules where it's like God says we can't use electricity and power, but God doesn't say that we can't pay the an Irish guy $30 to flip the lights for us and press the return button on the bowling machine in our synagogue to bring the balls back like, oh, we can't use lights, but we can have this guy light a candle and then take the fire from that candle to light something else. Because we didn't initiate the creation of it. Look, the whole idea of believing in God

is its own thing. But let's say you do. How dare you try to make him read the fine print of his fucking contract? You know what I mean? Like, can you imagine getting up there and him being like abraham dude the jews are lights on every i was gonna say like god's fucked if he's going up against the jews like in contract law like imagine you were god and you

made the jew and you made people and they were the jews and they were like now you see you found a couple moves here and you're like oh i can't believe i made the jews i should have yeah son of god i don't mean to be a bother but if you'll turn to page six section a line four explicitly states that the irish guys allowed to do this for me that's why every country the country's always like what are these people doing and it's like we've looked over everything in the country and this is how we're gonna min max and be completely efficient on making money like we broke the game and then get out of here it's like wait you changed the rules it's like get out of here we're not changing and then it's like how could you obviously everywhere

they go they're gonna find the system and break it down they've been doing this game with the bible for thousands of years this is like they've, they've been finding the loopholes in the Torah, so. Dude, calling Jews like the min-maxing race is the most accurate description of all time where they're like, all right, we minimize these parts of the law. We maximize this.

We're going to find a loophole around shellfish because I love oysters. Like, you just kind of maneuver your way around it. And then I guess you can make a good enough argument. The other top Jews are like, all right, throw it in the book. Like if you were like making a build, like an RPG build of the character. And it's like as a Jew, it's like your charisma and speech craft is up plus four. However, other races will not trust you at a glance.

So it's like there's like it's like every race has a build and I'm not comfortable doing all the other races. But I have some good ones for Asians. I feel like agility would be high for Asians. I think that would be a good thing for them. You don't think ninja depends which build depends which building. I think I think endurance kenyan i think that using ninjas as your reason for for asians having uh like like dexterity or whatever is is proof positive that they don't right you've had to go back to some feudal secret service or some shit like like yeah there was like 20 guys

800 years ago that were fucking fit dude you don't know but we're like stereotyping like when the olympics come around and we're gymnasts yeah gymnasts it's always us and and china that's because they have that program over there right they kill you if you don't bring home a gold they do and they like they lie about ages they they cheat that way oh that is a thing yeah yeah trickery that's a that would be like really a deception that that skill would be maxed the fuck out. Which race does well in deception, Kyle? All of us. We're all good at it.

There's some that are worse at it. See what he just did right there. A little deception, a little I'm not going to say it. Harley said it because he's one of them, but not me. Deception, that's like one of those like, yeah, if you're going to build a Nord or an Orc, they could both punch. It's like, yeah, these're gonna build a nord or an orc they could both punch it's like yeah these ones these both have deception as a as a high uh like as a class up there but all

these split like you're like an asian like you they're gonna be a super smart one or it could split to agility because i think like you know like a gymnast yeah agility for asians yeah but uh i keep thinking of these excellent examples. I'm not comfortable saying out loud, and I fear we've said too much already. No, we haven't gotten there yet. We're talking about video games. That's all we're talking about. Yeah, GTA.

This is Grand Theft Auto 6. Yeah. Speaking of video games, you guys are playing games? I'm glad you brought that up. This is what I was going to say from the beginning when you said that you weren't doing well lately or whatever nonsense you were joking around about. Sure, it's not mental health.

You're fine. You're a man. I was on Discord playing Tarkov. No one cares you're a man. I'm straight. You know I'm straight. I was on Discord playing Tarkov at like 4 fucking a.m. or some shit, and I looked over, and you're playing Call of Duty,

and the next night it's like 2 a.m., and I'm playing Tarkov again. I look over, and you're playing like, what's the one where you jump? Fortnite. Like every night you're playing. That's not true. What is this guy talking about? That's not true. Every night, every night late into the wee hours of the morning, you're playing a different game.

Are you on Eastern Time Zone, by the way? Yeah. Okay. No, because sometimes my friends, they'll go on and say uh oh shit it's 2 30 already this is fucked and i'm like yeah and it's 5 30 for me oh shit so i was gonna say like yeah at an hour or two or three how fucked up my schedule is see i don't even mind the schedule i'm just surprised that you're playing this big like plethora of games all these different games you is that how you like the game like something different all the time yeah I do like I play uh lately it's been very much Warzone I I fell off the whole

battle Royale I got so tired of it for a minute there uh but I I came back to Warsaw I've been having a lot of fun with it and Call of Duty but then I I got the Avatar game so sometimes I'm gonna have to play this because I gotta beat this piece of shit is it like a single player game yeah it's like far cry but it's like uh you're literally in pandora but if you're tired of far cry games then you're not gonna want this game at all but if you never played a far cry game and you love avatar this is it's a very beautiful game is there a mod to play as the humans for all the people that love avatar yeah you really but like yeah but they got weird because avatar i feel like like i love avatar but i'm not like a freak about avatar uh but somehow avatar still kills it like who chinese people love it that much i'm like you hate it well it's not that i

hate it i think avatar is fine i like the movie okay it was good but what shocks me is avatar is one of the biggest best-selling movies ever both of them you loved endgame and it has no cultural impact avatar game avatar beat these and it didn't have a build-up of comics and the movies it's that it's because j it's because um james cameron's or not james um what's the name is so fucking good at stealing that wonderful idea from so many. It's Dances with Wolves and Fern Gully mixed together. And Smurfs.

Dances with Wolves plus Smurfs plus Fern Gully and you get Avatar. I noticed the other day, I didn't notice, I watched a video and they were like the Na'vi, that's the blue people, Taylor, that's an anagram for naive. Okay, look at these humans look at these evil humans they're like they break it down into its like simplest little

features and i'm like oh god that is so stupid uh every time i watch those movies i side with the humans in my mind i'm like wait wait wait a minute y'all savages are living up in the tree fucking fucking you're fucking the tree or you are you you're like docking with the tree okay and then i look at the human good looking guy in his 50s did you even see the movie good haircut and and he's telling me that there's some whale oil out there that'll make me live forever and this isn't somebody else's planet we've come here because earth is fucked clearly this is for our children back home where i wanted those blue people gone i wanted them wiped out if i was on the front line it'd be like the women and the children all of them they're little blue animals in that movie are evil for no fucking reason they're just evil for the sake of being evil every time there's an opportunity

to like take children and handcuff them to a sinking ship they're like here's our plan let's do that yeah but those children sometimes have explosives on them so they have to have take children and handcuff them to a sinking ship. They're like, here's our plan. Let's do that. Yeah, but those children sometimes have explosives on them, so they have to handcuff them to detain them. They don't. You never know. There's literally all types of guerrilla attacks. We have information that there are tunnels under that tree.

A hundred percent. And there are. There's a lot of shit going on in those tunnels. They never attacked the humans. They came into the Na'vi tribe and started wrecking shit. I saw those big sticks in the tires of the machine. They were throwing rocks. They threw big sticks in rocks. Those little blue kids were throwing rocks at those air tanks,

and we just couldn't stand for it. You see those big sticks in the tires. That could kill a human. They should virus bomb that whole fucking blue planet of losers i look there's the one part where and keep in mind this is like earth's superman that we've sent to go conquer a planet right you don't send your losers to do this job you get your fucking navy seals and your super scientists it's a trillion dollar endeavor it's mo it's it's it's it's their last best bet to like be a race and you know 100 years from now right you look at the guy when the general or whatever captain crew cut is getting

everybody fired up to go down there and fuck up fuck some blue ass he's he's there's two guys in the front who are no joke hillbilly drunk nascar fans they've got beer bellies and big old neck beards they're sitting laid back like they're not up in attention yeah boss we're gonna get that blue goo fuck yeah earn heart those guys are in the front row like it makes no fucking sense i it's anti-human propaganda i hate always side with the humans when i learned about warhammer 40k and i heard people like do you know the imperium wants to wipe out the other thousand races in the universe and just leave humanity i'm like yeah and people don't like that people think that's not awesome that humanity goes yeah all of it for me do you know how mad you would be if you were living in the usa in the year 2008

or whatever if you're living in the year 2800 whatever whatever, and you were living in St. Louis and you found out that your tax dollars were buying exosuits to cut down trees that the Navi are living on in a different galaxy, how mad would you be? Your tax money doesn't even get to that solar system. Because Ukraine and Israel took it. We can't fight the despicable Navi because Israel and Ukraine have soaked up all of our money. That's why I wouldn't like it. Yeah, we need to conquer the stars, not each other. We just need to hold hands, get along. We can unite against those blue people.

If we ever find some blue people, I guarantee we will. I've said that before, but if any blue, green, orange motherfuckers ever come down here and start starting some shit, start fucking our women, start fucking like, like taking our land, drinking our juice or whatever. It won't matter if you're Jewish and Arab, they'll be like, they don't believe in Allah. They don't believe in Yahweh.

They don't believe in God. They believe in some blue frog on the mountain. Who's who's going to fucking lay eggs all over our planet. You know what? That's what they believe. Right. And everybody's like like what the fuck they don't what

look at how they fuck they don't even fuck they connect their hair and with weird gross tension oh you're talking about the actual knobby half of us will want to fuck them half of us will want to kill them I'm just making up yeah I'm just making up a random alien like insectoid race category the knobby will proc them because have you seen them

show me a knobby that's fat. Oh no, I played the whole game and I was like, I want to fuck them. Every fucking Navi's got a flat tummy on the entire planet. They're cat people. Of course they do. Yeah. If you want to kill someone, start with the fatties. They don't have anything to fuck. I'll fuck her hair. They've got pussies. No, I remember that part of the film.

They connect their hair together and that's how they do it. That wasn't sex! Guys, I watched this it. I know. That's the only way they have sex. You guys need this. Guys, I watched this once 12 years ago. That wasn't even sex. They've got cocks and pussies. For sure. That's why they wear bottoms.

They have long dangling blue cocks. Okay. But the propaganda that you're going to run on planet Earth is that they fuck the horses they ride. Kyle's right. I Googled it. They've got dicks. Touche on the that's why they wear bottoms points that that got me i was like oh fuck he's right you just have a urethra and like a butthole though you know like a cloaca have a yeah oh a cloaca yeah yeah you guys uh you guys need to check out this link that i put here

because there's been no better context for me to ever share this except for right here and right now you'll go check it out what the fuck is going on on tiktok that's uh that's great it's it's like a it's a fucking navi it's a it's a person with a horrible navi mask saying that they're gonna join with the palestinians to take out the israelis how about now that is that is probably the side they would take in the conflict as soon as i saw that and i'm not even like listen dudes like i'm i don't so i don't i don't like war i don't like any killing but i'll tell you right fucking iron dome would take down all the ikran fucking dragons are flying in the air dome you're right like done maybe. Maybe, maybe like Israel would have a hard time invading Pandora, but the Kron aren't getting in the Navi on horseback.

Dire horses. None of them. They get fucked up almost anywhere they land on Earth. They have not figured a lot out. They've just been futzing about on their planet dancing. They don't have no tax. Like they get they get land anywhere and they're going to get fucked up by the local. They get land on Sentinel Island. Can't land. no attacks like they get they could land anywhere and they're gonna get fucked up by the local they

could land on sentinel island can't land they'll get absolutely on sentinel island and and you're right if they were to go to israel the iron dome would destroy them but the whole plot of the movie is that they have some sort of anti-radar force which is why they had to get in there and fight them with without really and stuff, our radar's jammed. Don't worry. They're the 13-foot-tall blue people swinging from vines. Yeah, they were like, yeah, just napalm it all. Yeah, but they couldn't lock on with weapons or anything like that.

Yeah, but like an AC-130 or whatever, like hovering way up above wing light, could have just shot them with aimed stuff or something. Sir, there seems to be a plot device surrounding these yeah this is crazy to me like i don't know what are you coming at you want to have your you're like children's children in a class filled with navi like a classroom just filled with navi the teacher is like half human half navi like what is she wearing plug their hair into a vine on the floor and start learning,

and your kid's just like, where's the book set? It's just that when I look at the kids' sides and compare right and wrong in my sense of morality, obviously the humans are super uber evil. It's not even supposed to be close. You're comparing right and wrong. I'm comparing W or L. You know what I mean? I'm a human.

I'm on team human. Kyle described fat people against thin people. Where do you think I'm comparing W or L. You know what I mean? I'm a humanist. I'm on team humanism. Kyle described fat people against thin people. Where do you think I'm coming down? But if it's all people versus the aliens, you've got to take the people side. The people are fat, Taylor. I'm not on their side. How about we introduce

our diet to the Na'vi and then four years later when they're all diabetic then we can take them out. The Na'vi don't have refined sugar yet. our diet to the navi and then four years later when they're all diabetic can you imagine how quick their fucking big feet fall off i like that you're like i know the difference between right and wrong and i'm for killing all the fat people yeah navi would be very expensive to feed at mcdonald's i bet yeah that's like fucking three trios for sure i even i'm consuming soda like did we see them eat that you eat in the game by the way there's a lot of cooking and eating in the game but they no one ever no one ever ate in the movie though did they i fucking love that movie by the way i love avatar

i fucking love avatar too but i don't recommend them to anyone i kind of remember them thanking an animal they killed before they ate it yeah they did that yeah they took that that was very uh last of the mohicans they took yeah that's taken from some other movie it's um um dances with wolves you ever see dance with wolves Wolves with Kevin Costner? They cut the buffalo tongue out, and he offers Kevin Costner the tongue. And everybody's like, yeah, Kevin, eat the tongue. You get the best part. And he knows he's got to fit in.

Yeah. See, you know, the whole thing about Jameseron is he hits those notes for dads that like dads love like uh like in in avatar when in the second one at one point his kid fights the other kid and then he stops it and he goes up to his kid first and he's like did you get a good one in you know every dad in the theater is like that's me that's me because my kid i don't want him fighting but i'm gonna make sure he knows how to fight you know i really don't want him losing yeah exactly or like uh like you know how much my dad loved that scene when the old uh dude came out and he fucking was shooting chasing them and then he went back calmly and took a hit of the air from

the mask and it was like a perfect little beat like james cameron just does it you see a james cameron movie it feels like you're watching like peak movie from the 90s that time just terminator 2 holds up perfectly today terminator 2 could come out today and would be sick did you didn't watch yet taylor tell you muted no not yet i will get to it i will see terminator 2 after i master age of empires 2 it's on the it's on the docket ah yes once you become the world's greatest video game player isn't age of empires 4 out it is but it's not as popular as aoe 2 aoe 2 still has a huge fan base for what it is for how old it is which one did I download with you guys and got my ass kicked? Did I do that? Did I get my ass kicked from one of you guys

or did I just download it and got my ass kicked by the computer? We never played Age of Empires together. Kyle, did we play Company of Heroes? Did we play Company of Heroes with Harley? Was that it? Was it a tank game? Maybe Total War Warhammer even? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it was yeah of course there's all these horses on the mountain yeah i'm pretty

good at that um that there's a couple games that i've played enough that i'm like yeah i fuck people up with this game that's one of them like i've played that that game so many hours um see that's what what's interesting about how you game though i see playing all those games like i can't can't be bothered. I don't want to play a bunch of different games. I want one to obsess over. I obsess for a couple days, and then the next one. And that's why it is weird.

Sometimes if it says I'm playing a game, it might just be on the menu, and I'll be like, I'll play you soon. And then I don't. I really loved Ready or Not and Squad. And I got into all those super tactical. I don't know really loved ready or not and squad and uh i got into all those like super i don't know what did you have a good group for squad are you playing solo just out out in the world i go in and i threaten people i'm always like yo i'm new with this uh talk to me like i'm your friend that'll include me or i'm gonna go play battlefield and you guys need as many players as possible to still be into this game so make me

feel comfortable yeah i literally say shit like that and people are like okay bud come on join join foxtrot we're tank squad yeah just look out this window to the left uh and if you see someone let me know yeah i was like it's so funny when you're trying when you're like trying to get people into games that like don't have a steep learning curve. This happened literally last night. Me and a bunch of my buddies were playing Age of Empires II. The max lobby count is eight, and we had probably seven people in there. One person, one of our buddies, we finally convinced him to download it and play it.

He's like, I haven't played that since I was a kid. I was like, all right. Well, it's more complicated than you remember, but hop on. I was like, all right. I'm telling them what to do throughout the game and i'm telling everyone like don't fucking attack him don't attack him don't if anybody goes over there and if i scroll over his base and i see someone attacking i'm gonna lose it because there's nothing more frustrating than starting an rts game and being like oh my guy's collecting berries from the bush oh no like archers on the horizon fucking my shit like you're just like and meanwhile he's asking questions like oh lumber camp near the trees i'm like yes yes lumber camp near the

trees and i look over there and my buddy he's like after like 10 minutes because my new friend didn't know enough to announce when he was being attacked he's like this sucks i got like no villagers left i'm like what it's so early in the game i go over there and my buddy tyler who is not one of like the best of us was like teeing off on him and i'm like you son of a bitch like he's having no fun you killed all his villagers you ruined his time apparently i never i never do this i never ever like look up the meta in a game or what is the best thing to do in a game and i always feel like it fucks up the experience and i just go in and i my logic is i play a game they call of duty the first gun they give me is always going to be good because if i just bought this game then the first gun that i have is going to be decent enough

because why would they give me a shit gun why would they want me to lose they'll give me something that i could get kills with it just at the beginning so i i never go in deep but i started playing so much war zone that like you're at a disadvantage unless you know what the fuck is going on like with what people do and shit like that and so the first time i ever clicked the video to change uh options in in the game and i always go to options myself but they're all like gotta have automatic tax print on you have to change to tactical bumper jumper flip your triggers and your bumpers for the buttons you want doors to open apply all your plates if you hold and all these things and i never got into that but i watched a couple videos and so i got in deep and what you're describing is

apparently an issue in call of duty that people have conspiracies about that like if you're getting to a modern warfare lobby and you're ripping it and you're killing people there have conspiracies about that like if you're get into a modern warfare lobby and you're ripping it and you're killing people there's conspiracies that the game is gonna have like packet dumps on you because you're too good and you're ruining the experience for new players so they're gonna fuck you up in little sneaky ways that's what these videos are saying that's how deep i got i never once played the game was like hey i'm killing it too hard they're doing this or that but i did get booted twice from a lobby and it was really bizarre one after really big games no one time i like was killing it i got like six kills extremely fast and it kicked me out and i was very furious about it and then another

time i was downed and i was crawling i was moving and I got kicked for inactivity. And I was like doing pretty well that one. But I wasn't like, oh, I'm too sick. They're kicking me. But when I saw this video, I was like, oh, shit. Is that if this is how people are thinking in which what you're describing. But now this is where I'm at. What's that?

Do you believe it? There's got to be some shit that they do behind the scenes. Like, I don't believe that it's necessarily exactly what I'm saying, but they got to have so much psychological understanding for us as gamers because I'll play a game like a headshot noise or a sound effect. That sound effect that is chosen is so satisfying in a lot of games that I'm like, they know what the fuck they did. And like every game.

So there must be shit that goes on in the background, especially a game like Call of Duty, where they want you to spend more time there. People were saying in the past, and this guy said he said this in this video, but he didn't have the proof because he had lost it. But he said it was one of the older videos. If anyone remembers, link him to it. But he was saying, depending on how many Call of Duty points you have in your bank account like in your call of duty bank account that you bought depending on how many are in there the the items in the store will be cheaper or more expensive cheaper if you have less points so you'd be more inclined to buy it like that would be dirty if it was true and it's a legit thing but i wouldn't put this type of stuff past games maybe like like you get odd

amounts of points like let's say instead of 500 you now you have 400 and the cheapest thing is 500 and like dude like and you want to buy it you can't buy a hundred points at a time or something like that yeah it's all digital goods so why wouldn't they for just for you roll your fucking thing down to 400 points take everything you have and then you'll re-up because you're you're roi like you're you're already like 100 points in i might as well just fucking this is 100 points has been sitting here i already you know yeah i say all that but then i'm fucking playing call of duty as timothy chalamet is that i never like that like is that the only evergreen game for you that you always end up

going back no i think i think i think if you really like a video game you want it to be taken care of as much as like fortnite is like i i believe as like as as gay as fortnite people as people find it to be or they connect it to like some loser youtuber with like silver hair or whatever like something like that like whatever it is that people if that game was called ready player one i think a lot more 40 year olds like us or whatever 30 to 40 would be more inclined to play the game but fortnight is just like you think of like these dumb dances these autistic children i don't even know enough about fortnight to know that it has a bad you don't know the

dances you don't know i know that it has emot bad reputation. You don't know the dances? I know that it has emotes. Tons of games have emotes. You've seen children flossing for the last decade, though, right? Like, way too young in public. Are they still doing that? Well, I'm talking about a decade ago. That's its cultural impact. It's been annoying people for a decade now. It's a much bigger cultural impact

than Avatar. That's fair yeah no one does i can't believe the navi are not as playable characters in fortnite it's really crazy they'd be terrible with the hitboxes wasn't a lot of outcry for that i guess did this game that i linked here this is the future have you have you heard of this it's a civil war i just saw that looks it looks like a it's so cinematic so fire is this like hell let loose vibes because that's what i've been i've been playing that a lot too lately but with lots of role play so this is called war of rights it is a civil war game yo look at all these idiots

are you are you a guy that can hold a flag and not do anything else because that's sick and you just buff the people around you and you're just holding a banjo guy you can be the banjo guy if you want like there's oh you're gonna be a bard if you see the well the videos people are role-playing as like confederates and they're all doing their accents and sometimes being a little racist and uh it's a real hoot yeah i hope so when in rome like i i want a little bit of racism in my confederate game right yeah yeah for nicky haley for states rights like i don't i don't want that i want rights to do what i have there's no challenge where are the slaves no i'm poor as shit for you me neither but let's fuck these yanks up let's get them i want i've been playing those games where you're like have a whole uh like hell let loose or whatever and and so there's

there's squads and the squad leaders could talk to each other and there's a commander who talks to all the squad leaders and i don't like being a squad leader or the commander i like to be like i like to be a medic and uh i like to just do what I'm told because I find in life a lot I've been like, you know I like a captain in my football team or whatever maybe because I'm outspoken I find myself in these leadership positions When I play video games, I just won't be a fucking grunt so I always do and then the the the Responsibility is never know someone's not doing it or they're not talking and after a couple games

I'll end up as a squad leader or as a commander and i'm higher ranked as commander because i'm always like so vocal in these games it's not what i want to do but it's like i it's what i'm pretty good at in the game even like even like just you know this is funny scenario tell people to keep their comms clean when they're having fun playing a video game it's funny because like they're still yeah they're trying to have fun but like it's also like we i know you guys are having fun i appreciate that but there's 64 other dudes on this team and they want to win they don't necessarily want to just have fun some of them are old and they're by themselves in their basement so let's keep these comms clean okay and let's get foxtrot to move over and like but in your heart you're a gamer sub you want to be

told what to do you want to be around get that tight ass up to a flag i do i get someone like sometimes i'll get in the game and there was squad leader i'll be like squad leader what do you need sir and he's like we could use support i'm like yes sir and then i'm like support and he's like just drop that right here i'm like yes sir and he's like okay kill yourself and redeploy as an engineer i'm like yes sir and i killed myself wait 10 seconds at a black screen come back in as an engineer and i'm like yeah he's okay drive me here i'm like cool he's like kill yourself be a support i'm like yes sir see now that's good that feels so bad it's yeah and it's also like i like having a mission and doing a thing and being part of the team like when i put out if you're actually doing that and building those

structures where he wants them like that would be a massive help because because no one else doing that for him everybody else wants to be like oh no there's like 80 riflemen one medic and one guy who actually wants to go like i can't remember what there's this one game that where it's it's a war that's continuously going like it's going right now it was going last week it'll be going two weeks israel and palestine um but it's a big like war game where you're like fighting for lines it's it's continuous and some people on the team have to like mine for the ore that's making the show yeah it's like a cartoon game is it like a top down like top down yeah yeah yeah and it looks so it it reminded me of squad with how everybody who played it seemed to

be like 30s 40s and like super into it because it's very important that some of your team are back home it's like world war one or something where like you need people back home getting the ore and melting the you don't have you literally will not have artillery if your team has not been building artillery and it's not quite as fun as running around with a machine gun right i don't i don't want to do chores in a game like it's got to be really fun for you never played you were ripping you were ripping on lethal company because all it was was chores and it's true we're pointless chores pointless lethal company i have that game it's so funny i played chores pointless chores lethal company i have that game it's so funny i played it with some buddies and i had a good time we got we got so smooth at

it that it stopped like being fun and it just became like well let's just have another successful runs until everyone has to go to bed like and that's about it and so everyone kind of lost interest there's just there's not enough to build towards because the the stuff you can build towards that kyle didn't know is like you can buy guns you can buy teleporters you can buy stuff to like get in and out and and kill the monsters more effectively but by the time you have the amount of money to do that it's no longer needed it's like oh i spend 700 points on the gun the fact that you had 700 to spend means that there's now nothing more at stake. Unless everyone dies and you lose all your loot,

which everyone's not going to die. Someone stays on the ship every time and reads the board and tells you where loot is. So it's just not as fun. You like being that guy? Oh, that guy sucks. I never want to be that guy. I like running around, exploring,

sitting there looking at a fake monitor. You know why I was that guy? Because you're a natural leader. one else is doing it i need a role i'd rather us lose all of our loot than me stay on the ship i will i will happily go out there and upset some bees and then pick up the beehive and take it back to the ship and hope the bees don't stay on the ship because that really ruins there is there is a beauty in being the guy on the ship and your team is being chased by a monster and you being like, calling it here, guys. I'm so sorry. And closing the door. That is valuable.

You need that guy. Because in the moment, I'm like, Harley, you piece of shit. I could have made it back. And then afterward, it's like, yeah, he was right. I wasn't going to make it. I was almost stung to death by those electric bees. Yeah, there wasn't enough. That game has a charm.

And if you don't buy into the charm, then I would understand someone not liking it at all. In fact, I would understand them fucking hating that game. I talked about it briefly, like last time we talked about Lethal Company. It would be a ten times better game if you were doing anything other than collecting trash. If you were collecting weapons, if you were collecting blueprints, if you were collecting ancient artifacts. If you were one big thing. Yeah. If you were trying to kill a couple of the rare monsters for pieces of them or something like that, anything else and all the rest of the skeleton of the game, the structure could stay the same.

You could replace the trash finding with anything else and it would be more fun. could stay the same you could replace the trash finding with anything else and it would be more fun it's almost like a just a stupid dev choice to make it about basically being anti-littering or whatever the fuck the the core is it's it's frustrating and the items get old quickly oh another engine oh another light bulb oh another can of soda who Who cares? Did you guys see the movie Poor Things, by the way? No. No, I haven't heard of it. Emma Stone and Mark Ruffalo. And Mark Ruffalo is the funniest.

No one's made me laugh as hard in a movie, I think, since that Pedro Pascal, Nicolas Cage movie. Yeah, that was great. That was so funny, that movie. Mark Ruffalo is fucking hilarious in this movie and emma stone she kills it it's very it i thought it was like it almost had the same messaging as barbie but it was just done in a in a much better way and i know that probably turns people off of it but it was fucking great one of the best movies i've seen lately mark ruffalo is so funny so did you guys watch the curse that nathan fielder show no i should i never heard of it i love that guy i saw the preview for that and i like i nathan fielder i can only take him in really really small doses

oh really this one really hurts it really i don't even want to recommend this i'm not gonna recommend is he the serenity guy nathan fielder? No. He did Nathan for You. That's Nathan Fillion, I think. I like him. He's great. Yeah, he's great. He's cool. Nathan for You is one of the,

I think I got more out loud laughs watching that show than almost anything else. The original couple seasons of Nathan for You where he'd go in and come up with the most brain-dead business ideas. Woody, it's Dumb Starbucks. Do you remember he'd go in and like come up with the most brain dead business ideas. Do you remember, do you remember he did the dumb Starbucks bit where he's so he comes in and he's like, I'm going to help you rejuvenate your coffee shop. You need a new brand. And they just steal Starbucks, all their branding, but they're called dumb Starbucks and they're open

to Starbucks suing them because that's just more news no they yeah they claim that it's parody they did a parody it was a parody and it was an art exhibit so the things that you could buy which were like an edible starbucks muffin uh which was cheaper than starbucks yeah it was exactly like starbucks but it was a dumb starbucks and that's an art piece that you're buying not food so it's not competing that. So there was just like a tip jar up front where people would be like, I'll have a venti Americano. And he's like,

the amount I would recommend you donate right now is $4.85. Just some Jewish loophole shit. Yeah. Wait, is this a movie or a show? it's an episode from his tv show but the thing is he's not doing this as a funny jokey guy he's doing it as like a severe as a character who is who is so autistic they don't understand how real humans converse and so every conversation is gratingly awkward um he'll leave these big silence silent pregnant pauses for people and they don't know how to fill them because his he didn't really even ask a question he just said a bizarre thing and and then they

repeat that for like episode after episode it's painful to watch very painful to watch what's coming out soon three body problem yeah i know the real one like well because they had one already that they made that wasn't there is a show an asian show of it but i never watched yeah i never watched that one apparently it wasn't perceived too well but yeah i'm excited for this there's so many things i'm curious how they're gonna portray it like so you know at the start of three body problem i'm going to fuck this up because it's been a while but there's like the chinese government is this totalitarian regime i think the dad is some sort of honest scientist and gets killed for that so the daughter has a real problem with humanity in general now there's some sort of communication device

they figure out if you shoot the beam into the sun, it gets magnified and communicates much farther than we ever have before. Someone answers back. An alien gets the receptor. An alien gets it who's not a bad alien and says, be quiet or they'll hear you and they'll take you out. But she hates humanity. So she's like, come and get me. That's about 80%. She got lucky.

She got lucky she got lucky because she sent out the broadcast or go get sent out and it just happens like one in a million of this fucked up alien planet got the broadcast and he risked himself to be like do not do that again if my planet finds out your planet exists they'll fucking come and kill you and she was like got the message back and she was like great and sent the message out again kind of like inviting the the invasion or whatever yeah if season one of the netflix series ends with that message being resent i'll be disappointed you just bothered me so much why would you put that into the universe i have like goosebumps now if that happens i'm blaming you for doing that because i i i like what i loved about last of us the show is last of us season

one ended with the first game and i did not see that coming i thought that they were good the show i was like i bet you the second level here is we're gonna they're gonna end season one but they didn't animate this shit and try and stretch it out they just did it one season one game fucking love it three body problem like one season one one book please yes so you get it's eight episodes um the teleplays by uh dnb you know obviously um from game of thrones and they were&D, no? Am I crazy? David Benioff. Yeah. I could be wrong.

It's David Benioff and what's the other guy's name? His name's DB, I think. Okay, if it's D&D, it's D&D. But anyway, it's them. And that Wu guy from True Blood are doing the writing.

So, I don't know what to take from that. Eight episodes, though. I looked at the cast. I saw fucking... Who's Jon Snow's fat friend? Oh, Sam. Sam's there. Sam's in the show. And also, fucking the guy

with his fingers cut off. He's in there too corinne half hand yeah the guy oh no jamie no his fingers cut off not his whole hand his fingers remember they cut off the dude's fingers for for fucking smuggling the old man oh the onion oh yeah the onion night the onion night davis right and then there's just a whole bunch of ethnic people who are ladies um so I look forward to seeing the show I do like the premise I haven't read the book because of the Asian names

it was very hard for me actually anytime a name has an X in it and I'm like oh that's the name with the X and when there's like three people who have an X in their name you're like wait was that this guy also that's completely valid the way that i made it through

that was the voice actor who did the audiobook did such a good job that's how i differentiated him it wasn't whether one was named g and the other was named ja i thought i i ended up doing the audiobook after you said that a while back and i uh it was funny because the guy it was like three body problem narrated by derek thompson written by he sounds so english and then he says an asian a chinese name and like it's the most chinese sounding shit ever you're like whoa same guy i wonder if it would be beneficial to have a little like cultural plug and play there in the audiobooks where it'd be like, you know, select British English, American English.

So then it would be like and then he said to astronaut Gregory that it would just move forward. And you'll be like this guy, Gregory. I'm a big fan of Gregory. And I'm not confusing Gregory with Stephen because they're very different names. And I'm an American. So it's easy for me to digest. There should be a westernized version. I'm bad with names. I'm not confusing Gregory with Stephen because they're very different names and I'm an American so it's easy for me to digest. There should be a westernized version. I'm bad with names. I'm bad with faces.

I'm the only guy I know that's not good with faces which is the fucking worst. I watch shows with my wife every night and I'm always elbowing her. Is that Caesar? She's like, no, that's Brutus. Those guys don't look similar.

I made that one up. Jesus, Matt, 50. Mark Antony? Antony, I think. Yeah, he's the young one. Dude, he shows up later in the film on a horse or something, and she could just read that I had no idea. Well, you have.

He came back with a beard. That's all the disguise dude i would i'm the guy who'd be fooled by clark kent's disguise i feel like if i shaved entirely and showed up one week what it would be like oh new guest like the context the context of it the context of is you'd have to be like glasses off shaved beard like shirt off and floating 12 inches above the ground in front of him in person and then he might not be like taylor what if i like just just put a hat on shaved that'd be crazy if you could if you could like track woody down and try and walk by him multiple times in

person get to his grocery store cab and walk past him see if he does a podcast for seven years i'm filming an epic prank video i pass him immediately he's like oh is that taylor and i'm like fuck cost me six hundred dollars to get a last second flight to north carolina for 15 years and not catch me there that's true what he doesn't go to the grocery store shopping is for poor people and he yeah I could I'd have to wait at the base of your driveway I hope yeah hang out by the mailbox sit there with a little tent I'd get binoculars to look in ah damn I don't think he's leaving again today this is unreal day 11 I've big day. Beginning to lose hope

at the base of the Woodworth driveway. I don't know if he's even in there anymore and I don't remember why I came. But I know it's my fault. Did you finish For All Mankind? I finally did.

Yeah, yeah. The show? Yeah. The season finale was like a week or I did. The show? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The season finale was like a week or so ago. I don't know. I was let down by this whole season, I guess. I felt like a lot didn't happen.

There's no sexy ladies that I can think of anymore. Everybody's ugly. Everybody's ugly and old now. Everybody. It's like there's no eye candy. I got to look at the old black lady. Like the woman that switched the disruptor, whatever that thing is called. She went up into the ship at the end

and shaved brown hair. Jesus. Really? Do you know her name? I want to ask the audience. I don't know her name, but she's not attractive. There's no pretty people. The first season, it was like four hot chicks testing out to be fighter pilots first season it was like four hot chicks tested

out to be fighter pilots and it was like all right let's go there's like titties and ass this season was just nothing happened and then when they finally got down to i won't spoil it spoil it spoil it spoil it but like they shoot a character at the end and i'm like all right somebody fucking died let's go like like she's been around for far too long anyway. And it's like an old person who gets shot. An old woman gets shot in the chest on Mars. And she lives. Yeah, she's fine. She's fine in the next scene.

Hardly an inconvenience. Barely an inconvenience. It's like, dude, that would have killed her eight times over. She was shot in the lung on Mars. And she is an old woman. An old woman. This is the black woman we're talking about yeah yeah she's from the 60s and it's 2012 or some shit or 2002 or something she was a this is like neil armstrong a few years ago getting shot in the chest it made no goddamn sense i was

watching total recall again recently old arnold one and it's funny at the end when they roll out onto mars and they're in mars but things being pressurized and they're like oh and like his eyeballs pop out and then everything goes like gets pressurized so the eyeballs go back in and he's normally like oh we're good we're good and it's so weird because back then that shit was okay to move you're like oh thank god perfect timing you look at it now you're like no dude your eyes were popped out you basically fucked up still they're so out of his head that's a great scene i watched a whole bunch of movies and i a lot of things like i watched um a lot of the funniest parts were things i didn't even realize like watching old nick cage movies uh like uh watching my girlfriend and the like nick cage's uh characters cameron poe sorry that's that's an uh con air and she's

like cameron poe kind of name is this then we watch his face off his name's caster troy she's like what kind of a man like comes up with these manly names i'm like john woo yep john moo comes up with these names that's why you got slow-mo dubs in this shit and like really creepy touching castor troy that's like a professional fighter name yeah i like that i like those those two nick cage movies in particular are quite good i love con air i think con air is an actually good movie like like not from like oh my god did you see the performance but but the whole time it's fun the whole time it's fun. The whole time it's fun. It keeps you guessing.

Shit happens all the time. There's multiple plots moving around, even though most of it's in a goddamn plane. And at the end, you're so rooting for Nick Cage. Put the bunny back in the box. The guy's got his daughter's bunny. It's great. I love The Rock,

and I feel like that's the most appropriately Nick Cage-casted role. That movie's like in a top 20 for me. And's the most appropriately nick cage casted role that movie's like in a top 20 for me and and he plays he's perfectly casted he plays a nerdy fucking scientist like i don't know how we got him to con air and caster troy and we were thinking about making him be super slick and smooth and sexy yeah yeah like supermanman like really it's just back in the day like the rock the rock he's like a fucking rocket scientist and he's a dork and it's great i love it um he was he was a teenage heartthrob by the way you ever see the old movies of pictures of him nick cage was like a hot young like for the like the girls they uh they like you know who's it's his father right you know

his father is right i thought his uncle was francis ford coppola that's what it is his uncle yeah yeah but he was avoiding the nepo baby thing right by by hiding his name by getting into hollywood exactly well maybe the next he really dodged that actor i don't i don't i don't know i always heard that he he he did that so that he wouldn't go into auditions oh coppola's here oh right to the front sir how's your how's your wonderful uncle doing these days by the way yeah come on in i think he was trying to avoid that or at least that's what suggested he still had to suck off some producers, you know? No, I bet he was too high-ranked to be given head for his position in Con Air or whatever. Whatever his earliest movie was.

Probably the 80s, right? Yeah, he was... Raising Arizona is one of the earliest ones I saw. That's the one that put him on for me. The Coen Brothers? Dude, that. All right, so now, con air is a fun movie um no he won the oscar for leaving vegas or whatever that the one that leaving las vegas

i've seen that also that's a good one um it's depressing but as much as con air is like a fun little popcorn movie where that you'll never be bored and you'll you'll enjoy yourself fucking raising arizona is this classic it's a coen brothers movie like it's it's a it's it's high film it's really good john goodman's in it does an amazing job with his character um the whole idea is that nick cage and his wife who's awesome his wife is the the little lady from a brother where art thou the wife from that she's his fast-talking country girl um they're married she's a cop and holly hunter thank you and uh but she's barren she can't have children and it's their life's dream to have these

babies together and raise this family it's all they want they live in this trailer in arizona he works the factory they just want a little tyke it's all they want and so lo and behold in the newspaper the next day nathan um whatever the fuck his name is the richest man in the state this uh has had like octuplets or some shit. And they decide that they've got more than they can handle over there. So maybe we'll just ride over there, kidnap one of the octuplets, and we'll make him our son. And so they do.

They go baby nap this child, and then the movie goes completely awry. Bounty hunters are after them by the end. His buddies have broken out of prison, and they want a piece of the action. It's hilarious. It's so funny. I thought you were going to say Raising Arizona was a sad movie. No, it's wonderful. It's great. It's a comedy. I forget how it ends.

Don't say it. I want to rewatch it. Don't say it. I haven't seen it. I need a refresher of it also. Yeah. How does it end exactly? Don't do that to Don't do that to Woody. Do it to Harley. Or Woody.

Whoever was mad about it. It's on our Plex too. It's on Plex. If you want to watch it on there. I think so. Plex doesn't have On the Waterfront even though I mention it every week. I keep trying to watch it. It's not there. Does Plex have all of The Simpsons? I haven't checked.

I don't know. I bet it does. What is the deal that would be? You guys like Boogie? Boogie, the movie. The man. The man? Do we like him like him?

Yeah. What does that mean? I like him the most. You don't like him? What does that even mean, though? Woody. I said I like him like him what does that like him the most you don't like him what do you what does that even mean though woody i said i like him the most like i i i empathize with him like the whole internet's mad at him which is a position that i can understand and they're mad at him for what at first he represented himself as absolutely mr rogers and it turns out he's a little naughtier than that. I'm okay with that. You're a little naughtier?

I think what a lot of people get mad about is the performativeness of it where it's like the performative woe is me stuff is what a lot of people do. I like that Kyle was like, what do you mean?

I don't know the context if somebody asked me if they like if i like you i would be like yes absolutely do and then i would list some of your attributes and and and feats some of the things that you've done that make me like you and some of the things that are the about you that i like i do that and it's like do i like boogie i don't dislike boogie that's that's probably where i am i have no hate in my heart for boogie i agree i was on i went on his podcast and he said that uh we were talking briefly and he was like oh this guy's hate me over there and i was like i don't think so no we definitely don't hate boogie we've definitely gone in and made fun of him when he does something we

think's retarded but we've done our best not to like tell lies about him at the same time and give him his fair shake yeah when it comes to this stuff and i've never though i've never seen boogie up to something and been like oh like like the last thing i remember big from him was how hilarious it was when he tried to kill frank castle like that was a few years ago crazy era that was shooting the gun in the air that was like multiple years ago now but that was the most surreal clip to watch to see frank being like what are you gonna do kill me and he's like yeah i'm gonna come out there and kill you and then he comes out there with a gun and frank's like kill me shoot me just screaming at him on his i thought that was

it was insane i was okay with that i thought that was as as silly as that was what he did and is ended up being like some sort of criminal charges which i guess he's through now or whatever but i bet the next guy thought twice before coming and knocking on his goddamn door yeah he was like next time it won't be a warning shot boys i'm not messing with boogie so like in that moment i was like he took a stand it wasn't a good one maybe it wasn't the right one even but he did take a stand i could appreciate that he'd had enough he'd had enough and so he went out there with his gun and that's still a hilarious like meme picture like have you seen like the ones where it's like him holding the gun and it shows like the fallout for like green like on him. It's like 68% headshot chance, 48% armshot chance. Try to disable.

That was funny. But yeah, I don't know. What is Boogie up to now? Is there a reason you brought him up? I was on the podcast, and I asked Wings if he liked working with Keemstar better or Woody better. What did he say? He said that you stole money from him. No, he did not say that.

I've never stolen money. He said Keemstar pays him better and then you took his money. Did he say that? He said he didn't give him enough money. What are you talking about? he got an equal share there there was no money he got we split those fifty dollars that the who was who were those children and those guys in the army the the boogie boys or some shit the weather telling people yeah there was like a group of five friends once who like gave themselves a silly moniker like yeah we're the

the juju boys or something boys and they were like what it was was like five guys who listened to our show who were like threw in 10 bucks each and sent it to us and was like hey give us a shout out and we're like this week we're brought to you by the yolo boys and we just showed a group photo of these kids and it was like, he got his 1725. Nah, he said you gave that to Chiz. He said that. He said you gave it to Chiz or something like that. I asked that, but then Woody was

sorry, Boogie was like, yeah, those guys over there, they don't hate me. And I was like, nah, nah, they don't hate you. Yeah, we definitely don't hate Boogie. We'd have him back on. Yeah, and to be to be clear wings absolutely got an equal share of the cash there was what he's saying is hey hey dude yeah muscles glasses too buddy i feel you no no i gotta blow the whistle on this because when when i replaced wings, Woody texted me, Operation Steel Wings Money is a good.

And I said, 10-4, good buddy. Operation Subvert the Fat Guy has begun. Yeah, now I want to hear what he said, because I'm like, that's just not true. Well, check out our local podcast. i'm like that that's just not true well check it out low-cal podcast that uh though they um because i did think this before that podcast started i was like it was like you know uh i was just in the room there and we had recorded a podcast and the podcast went to shit like someone didn't record their audio properly on it and then we did it again and then something

messed up but then keemstar came in and started yelling at them like he came in like fucking started yelling at them for fucking up like what do you sorry i don't know i keep doing that boogie and wings and uh and tommy and he's like ripping them and he's fucking going i'm sitting there too and i'm listening and he's like it's kind of like he's yelling at me also uh and then he left and i was like what the fuck dudes i've been voicing you guys how i want i want a part of this episode the keemstar's yelling at me also uh and then he left and i was like what the fuck dudes i'm invoicing you guys how i want i want a part of this episode the keemstar's yelling at me too he was he was very furious uh but then i just thought about how funny it would be like if any of you came into this

podcast before the podcast started and started yelling at the rest of the guys like i just don't i just don't imagine it, the dynamic being even close to that. Imagine Zach walking in here and started like, he pops in, he starts yelling, fucking cussing us out for like fucking up and being idiots. That's what it was. It was a very abusive working relationship.

So wait, did you guys record entire episodes and then realize there was no audio, do it again, and then do it a third time? We did an episode, and there was the audio messed up, and Boogie was just super apologetic. And I was like, oh, it's cool, dude. I've just been sitting at home depressed, flipping through every single game in my gaming library at 4 a.m.

So I'm good. And then we did it, and then 20 minutes into that one, where this is like, Wings was like, oh, shit, I didn't hit record. And then we did it. And then 20 minutes into that one where this is like wings is like, oh, shit, I didn't hit record. Let's bring that back. And then they started the podcast again. Wow. I can't throw stones.

I messed up on audio here or there. Yeah, but this is four hours. You fuck up a PKA. That's like what we're missing this week. Fuck it. Yeah, it used to be I recorded and left. He would do the backup recording and i think it only happened once where we actually lost the show would you

did you make it up or did you just be just like fuck no i like it was like the next day or something and it wasn't that i didn't like fail to record it said it was corrupted afterwards the filed like i guess it doesn't have a real there's no real good podcast software still today like there's no perfect thing you guys use this i guess you have a good experience so that we use squad cast with like saves all the things individually and whatever and but nothing's perfect some people use disco but there's just no perfect like super reliable thing you know it feels like uh nothing is really quite the best answer for this and lord knows more than ever we need more 40 year old white dudes talking on microphones together it's got to be easier it's got to be easier access streamline that his act

just reminded me it was the arrested development episode. Our guest was the Asian adopted kid from Arrested Development. Dude, that episode fucking sucked. I remember he came in here and big-timed us. I'm a big-time Hollywood star slumming with you podcasters.

I don't even know your fucking character's name. i've never seen that show i don't i still haven't i've never seen arrested development um i probably should i hear it's good i watched a couple episodes many years ago and it didn't get a laugh out of me so i didn't go back okay yeah it was at a time at a time it was maybe considered smart or funny it didn't really last for me like i don't i don't go back and watch it and laugh or think things were particularly funny there. Speaking of highly intelligent humor, Harley, have you followed any of Fish Tank? Someone on there had AIDS.

Did you see that? I did. I watched highlights. I didn't watch a lot of this one live. Yeah, the Twitter clippers help out a lot oh how does it know the aids thing no one does uh sam judge jebediah gold striker makes them do all these activities and just random a lot of it is clearly stuff where they're like you know jet quick go buy a dozen aids tests from cvs we're gonna have all of the fish take aids

tests and so he had them all take aids tests to make sure that everyone was clean because someone kept ttsing like one of the they use the black voice to keep going like yo one of these fish has fucking aids get them tested and so they kept doing that and then everyone took the aids test like all eight of. And all of them came back negative, except for the Japanese guy, Shinji, where they were all they were all looking at the lines because like any test, like there's a control line to show that it's actually reading it and it's not a faulty device. And then there's the one that that shows up if it detects the antibodies of the given test that it's it's for. And he Sam was even looking at it. Everyone was like, Shinji has a little bit of a line on the positive for AIDS thing. And he used to work in porn in Japan.

And Sam was like, no, hold on. Bring that here. And he's like, really? Like, yeah, there's a little bit of a line. It says any amount of a line. So they got a little nervous. a lot it says any amount of a lot and so they got a little nervous and i've never seen some at the end of the day like if it's an incomplete line the test does say like disregard this test again but it's still if you take an aids test and there's

anything but a clean slate there i would be absolutely panicked and this dude shinji this japanese guy they're like sam's likeji, you failed your AIDS test. You might have HIV. And Shinji's like, yeah, AIDS. Better to have this than to be a virgin, right? And everyone was like, they tested him again, like two days later. And he had no response to having AIDS. Everyone's like, Shinji, what's it like having HIV?

Being HIV positive? And he's like, pretty good, pretty good. Are we sure he understands enough English to know what they're saying? He understood the English. Like, he can read. He can hear what they're saying and understand it. He just is bad at parsing it quickly and responding. So he didn't really have AIDS?

No, they retested him, and he does not have AIDS. What do you mean, shit? understand it he just is bad at parsing it quickly and responding but he didn't really have aids no they retested him and he does not have aids and what do you mean shit you wanted that little japanese so much what i what i wanted was for sam to go or mr gold striker to go yeah i told you they took the iq test right yeah that one guy got an 82 which is which is just astounding uh air airsoft fatties but i've i've also not followed it uh much in the last week week and a half or so because there was an age of empires 2 tournament on youtube i was watching game rules but i would like the twitter clippers for fish tank are great because you can go and like follow a thread and in just like you, 30 minutes,

watch all the key parts of the day. And thank God Elon Musk owns Twitter because then we could see the clips because they're still on Twitter. Exactly. And Elon Musk, or not Elon Musk, Airsoft Fatty was brought back. You did say Twitter.

I'm sorry. I had Twitch in my head. I fucked your fatty that guy has just the most baffling physical existence of anyone i've seen like his body doesn't make sense woody wants to kill him so bad no well woody does not like the fats but if there's anyone that i mean clearly he eats way too much but the way he is fat is like the kind of fat where you're like okay that is there's anyone that i mean clearly he eats way too much but the way he is fat is like the kind of fat where you're like okay that is there's something going on there like that's not the way fat distributes on a body there's some genetic thing going on that's making his neck has a back his neck has a back he's walking around stark naked like almost like all the time now and you can see i i watched like the clips in

the first season where he was walking around naked and you couldn't see like dick or balls at all because of how fat he is there i saw a still of him sitting naked on one of the shared couches in their in their lounge i got and you can see his balls i don't even want to share this i don't want to share this uh okay so i have one of these scumbag clip channel motherfuckers of yours posted on tiktok don't do this okay but he stunk so bad i like i i creator clash we're like walking out to see the place and he was gonna sing and i'm like i'm like two people behind him and this whole like hallway that we're walking is just like like heat stink emanating like smells like something like like not like a bad smell like bo or like shit like like a biological waste accident like a uh like like like wherever they they they would take bad skin at the hospital that's been collected off of

something and put it into like some receptacle or something like that it was thick like rot it was like like rot like a maybe maybe this is what a dead body would i wonder if he's slippery to the touch right like like an amphibian like touches his deltoid or something is it greasy is it slippery i did i did see a clip maybe i did see a clip where he was naked and they had i think a couple of the contestants pour or rub baby oil all over him for a slip and slide and he does not have the physical capacity to like jump onto the slide so like when he would do it like yeah do it fatty it's like a like a three foot slide but like you're right about the smell thing that's not just you that's definitely uh seems to be a recurring thing that prostitute from from the first season of fish tank who was like who wouldn't sleep with him because she said

he smelled like poop yeah yeah which is sad he's got i ran fish tank i would oil up air soft fatty and see who could prevent him from leaving the kiddie pool. You know, like a wrestling match. I think that would be... I think I could easily prevent him from leaving a kiddie pool because he's so heavy. It wouldn't take that much to wear him out. What if you had to carry him like a... You know that... No chance.

Where they have the greased pig. You do the greased pig thing from the rodeo. No chance you could carry him. None of us could carry him. Really? Yeah, he's like 400 pounds. There's zero chance any of us could carry that guy Pete Kyle throws him on his shoulder and carries him like an urn victim

Pete Kyle is doing this show like Stephen Hawking if he tries that no he would just my body would pierce through him and he would move over they always act like Superman can pick up a mountain but really he just bore through the mountain because he's as sharp asman can pick up a mountain but really he just like bore through the mountain because he's as sharp as a superman pressing on a mountain that's what would happen

to him he would just go i would go through him and i would be left covered in in the core all four of us grab a limb get a good grip on a limb and lift they pull off like i feel like all the limbs dislocate and the body stays. It might be. And then it would just regrow. I imagine he has that capacity. I imagine him being filled with that slime from Nickelodeon. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know.

Dude, like, but they're in the last bit of the show. I don't know exactly the amount of days, but six weeks, right? And they had Airsoft Fatty and Frank Castle in there at the same time, just creating an unpalatable environment for them because Airsoft Fatty is seemingly just kind of unpleasant to be around because he smells bad. And the dude has the gift of gab. He does not. He can talk all day and say nothing. All day. And then Frank Hassel can walk. I saw a clip of Frank.

Frank's just sitting there just chatting with the fish, just kind of being a shithead with them and almost lulling them into a sense of, yeah, he's going to mess with us a bit, but it won't be too bad. And he's like, all right. Then he just walks away, gets a big

gallon of spoiled milk out of the refrigerator and then just sneaks back out of the kitchen and upends the whole thing on this girl's head and they get into a little kerfuffle frank's very good at at getting under people's skin and and bothering them and i guess that is creative i don't like i'm not i'm not saying that it is creative to pour milk i'm saying that if it is your job to go in and hassle people pouring milk on them is a pretty good way to do it that's awful to live through but this whole premise where offense is okay but defense is illegal is horseshit oh no no bullying is fine standing up for yourself is against the rules no no no like they they let the contest one of the contestants got so pissed

she was like spitting and like swinging and hitting and throwing eggs at frank back and they allowed that that was fine they only shut that down when frank hassled her so much that she like ran and grabbed scissors and was like threatening to stab him like stay the fuck away from me stop bothering me and yeah and then they they shut that down and they were like all right frank get away from her like she's gonna she's gonna stab you yeah i mean you know i i thought right away when the show season two was done over christmas i was like oh fuck that's good like you're gonna do it and how it is like him doing it over christmas right away i'm like that is so depressing for the fish yeah i would never do that and how it is like him doing it over christmas right away i'm like that is so depressing

for the fish yeah i would never do that and you're and you're like you're self-selecting then to the kind of people who would say i would rather be fucked with on a reality show yeah then be with my family on christmas and that is a big self-selection thing right like that self-selects for weirdos because if any of us were asked to do that any reality show even if it wasn't getting hassled and messed with and having tts blaring at you you'd be like oh wait it's through christmas no i'm that's family time i'm gonna spend time with my family i love christmas i have celebrated my entire life as part of my family but i'm telling you right now if i had a shot to be on

the show fuck this hot girl island or something i think i might go be on the show i was yeah but you wouldn't go to my family but my services are for sale over christmas they're just expensive yeah you would and you wouldn't we're not talking about hot girl island we're talking about you go somewhere where the challenges are like smoke as many cigarettes as you can okay i could do that but you can't you can't can you not like uh for 50 grand at most can you fuck can you do any of these fish fuck each other i think there have been a couple of them went into a closet together early in the season yeah i saw that too yeah Yeah, I saw that.

I don't think anyone's actually fucking in there. I can't imagine a more stressful environment. Would you break a piece off in any of these fish? Not one? Not one? Not one that's ever been or around or anything? Breaking a piece off, is that fun? A quick rinse?

You want to do a little quick rinse with one of these fish? Well, maybe a quick rinse with there's a fatty. I heard he needs a bath. He's got like half a million subs. I'm a clout chaser. I'll go with his soft fatty. Yeah. The Japanese, one funny recurring bit is like the Japanese guy doesn't seemingly know a lot about American culture.

Like everyone will come in and be like, so what do you do here? He's like, ah, student. Student, California. They're like, oh, for what? He's like, ah, computer programming. And it's just like the same kind of shit right there. And all he really knows is like, he'll like reference Mr. Beast a lot.

Like, you know, like YouTube, like Mr. Beast. beast a lot like uh like uh you know like youtube like mr beast uh he will do it and uh so sam you know that meme of the fake mr beast who's going like this yeah they got him to come in and so they were amping it up where they're like mr beast is coming today he might even bring chris with him and they were like and then they like amped it up they're like mr beast is here and shinji's like oh mr beast mr beast coming to fish tank and then they bring they bring this clearly fake mr beast up there and they obviously didn't fill him in on the extent of what he'd be doing they just told him like go up there and act like mr beast and do like whatever your bit is of him and so like like an hour into it or like i saw this through highlights i don't know how long

into it but by by the highlights mr beast was clearly getting very exasperated at the questions like they stopped asking him questions and the producers which kept being like keep asking him questions aren't you curious to ask mr beast about his success are you curious to ask him and so they like asked him just all these questions, and it got to the point where they had nothing left to ask. And so this weird contestant, they're like, TJ, you have to have more to ask Mr. Beast. And he's like, oh, yeah.

And this guy's like a nervous, ticky guy. He's like, yeah, Mr. Beast, I want to know, how is your Crohn's disease? It's like, what? How's your Crohn's disease? And it's like, what? How's your Crohn's disease? It's like, that's the only thing you knew about Mr. Beast is that he has Crohn's disease? I didn't know that about Mr. Beast.

You wanted to follow up? I learned it. That's real lore. So how did Kenji end up on this show, though? He said a friend recommended him. Yeah. It's got to be a bit. No, it's a bit.

I'm calling it. It's a bit. If it is, then this guy is daniel day lewis like because because he's been getting fucked with and like having milk poured on him and being harassed by by frank castle as well i saw i got your character the the mr beast guy put a wig on that looked so much like kyle's 2011 hairstyle that I tweeted it. Did you see? I saw it.

And Frank Castle has definitely gained a significant amount of weight, seemingly, after the first season. Or maybe I'm misremembering, but he seems to be getting heavier. And he shaved his head. And so it looks like a 2012 video of kyle i'm seeing skinny wings of redemption there too yeah i'm seeing a very very svelte look like if you took some of his onto your body like that's what happened to transfer it what this is actually is like if marvel had a wings of redemption verse and wings like stole some sort of crystal to go

to the perfect universe where i was this guy and he was that guy that's what's happened here like i i saw like afterward the the mr beast guy was getting very just not pleased with being there and sam took him up to the attic which is like this weird room they have to like do little downloads and and pep talks and discussions and once they got up there the mr beast guy was like you know i don't they're not really asking questions about the bit should i keep doing the bit i don't really how long do i have to stay here and sam it's like it's like midnight and sam's like just and sam's like leaving he's like dude just stay the night just stay the night we'll take care of this tomorrow just stay the night and we'll keep working through it that was like two days ago i think he's still in the tank still in there just futzing around so like it's if you just like go to fishtank.live it's free

to watch but like the the twitter clip channels too are very very helpful because they'll like piece out the action so that you can you can kind of catch up we went to a lot of very funny moments taylor and i we had gone to lunch with sam and his his whole operation and uh i was like vlogging it a whole bunch i told him i was going to film a bunch of this i want to have some moments and every time the camera went on to sam he just started talking extensively about chris from mr beast's team yeah and saying all types of stuff that would ensure that this vlog will never see the light of day on my channel and he kept being like how's this vlog going here is it good or do i need to talk about

chris from mr beast more he did he ruined your vlog i have a cut of it that's like entirely it's there and there's just so much beeping it's like beep beep beep and then he's like muslim child beep beep beep and a pull long enough to go inside beep beep beep and like we're just looking at the cut and we're like this goes this can go somewhere we'll find a home for this yeah that was a wild conversation to listen to while i was eating my fucking lamb skewers or whatever the fuck we had at that little yeah what was funny some some guy came up to him at the range and they're like yo i'm with some guy and i i added for mr beast and i love your videos and he was like yeah the guy was talking i was there and i'm like wait wait but yo you make mr beast to watch sam hide and he's like

yeah jimmy's seen it come on my god does mr bees love sam hyde does he tell us he's like no he's seen a lot of videos a lot and then sam was there he's like what about chris a lot of people were like a lot of people were like clearly trying at that event to like get sam to do something for them like for for content or something like i i was with him at the gun thing and someone walked up and was like oh sam sam hi i'm a big fan of this and that he's like will you come over here and on camera be like fuck russia and sam like he was wearing a shirt he was wearing like a ukrainian shirt also he's wearing like a ukrainian shirt and sam like laughed at him and was like no dude like no

like i'm not gonna you want me to like come over over there and do your political video right now? Just on a whim? That's goofy. Why would you want me to do that? That was a fun event. I want to shoot an MP40 again. You've got to have some crazy dudes that come up to him. I don't think you can just buy one.

You've got a semi-automatic one, yeah. The MP40 was a hit there, by the way. The way the internet works. Everybody liked the MP40. I guarantee somebody out there makes an MP40 semi-automatic things that you could fuck around with and stick on the wall. It was better than the Tommy gun. I just like that at that shooting range,

everyone was shooting the MP40 and loving it. Everyone putting it down was like, damn, those guys were onto something was like damn those guys were onto something with this dude no one is those guys were onto something there's a lot of reasons to shit on the nazis but nobody ever goes after like the engineering part of it 1937 they made this are you kidding me they're never like those damn nazis and their math and engineering idiots they're like no it was it was the other stuff that people don't know the other stuff yeah it was the other stuff they loved the rockets i think i i went through my era

of going in really deep on all of that and uh man i think japanese make way meaner nazis what was the uh you know we'll know this 37 731 is that everyone like that where they would do like vivisection like the most all sorts they were like take this baby out of this person inject this disease put the baby back in that person and so that person's arms onto the person and let's see what happens oh and by the way fuck that person on your lunch break too and like that's literally and it's and i write oh and by the way fuck that person on your lunch break too and like that's literally and it's and i write it all down in these documents oh they're trying that maybe let's do it like the japanese were were absolutely worse than the nazis maybe not on scale

but of of you know actually when you when you throw china in yeah the scale is probably like this very similar with what they did in China, in Nanking especially. You know, babies on bayonets, fetuses being torn out of women's wombs while they're raped to death. The vivisection, which is when you dissect a human being alive without anesthetic. Tons of experiments that, unfortunately, the Allies would later reap the benefits of. Things like they would want to see expose someone to cold right like freeze someone's arm frostbite it and then let's find the best way to save those fingers well if you can freeze people every day and trust a new thing and like oh freeze them a little longer

or like thaw them out slowly or quickly or inject this into them first or they would do horrible experiments like that and then you know by the time it was over we got this data like it's been done now here's the we can use this and it was you know just the same way we used the nazis rocket tech and verner von braun apparently with the all the stuff that they got from the japanese they were like yeah you're gonna want all the things that we've done everything like that and. And, you know, just cut some deals. So the U.S. and the U.S. like, you know, don't tell anyone else about this. And then they did it and they got the book and they're like,

this is just a timetable of who's fucking the prisoners. None of there's like apparently the useful factor of it was so low in terms of what they traded off that they were like, oh, this is not this is there's information here, but how much of it is like scientifically that we're going to believe was done in a certain way they're just like this was just like fucked up people having fun masquerading as scientists not even any good shit and and to be fair though like i feel like we got them like we went in there and straight out yeah like they're still embarrassed about that. I saw a video the other day of some Japanese.

He's a thousand years old and he's crying and apologizing for what he did in the war. I feel like they feel sorry about it now. Yeah. They're looking pretty good. The country's looking pretty good. Are they?

I think I look at it. look at i look at germany and i look at japan and i'm like oh okay so the u.s uh they can fix a couple problems here and there yeah okay usa baby yeah let's get the same all it requires is 115 u.s army installations in the country be great if i had to live in any asian country it would be japan right like is there even a close okay i think there's one that might there might be one that likes fucking white people more i don't think they're down to uh fuck us you and i i think the south koreans are too full of themselves we've let them advance a little too far um but the japanese they're going for that culture they're going for that civ like civ 5 cultural victory right now yeah k-pop and uh america already won the

cultural victory we're going on it's final hour there's a lot a lot of moves are happening right now korea south korea is doing big stuff you got kids out there dressed like black pink watching fucking one piece reading the manga like they're not uh they're not watching wwe like they used to nfl's not uh doing the most right now football's becoming soccer everywhere do you watch americans yeah do you watch football do you care about the nfl at all i used to i used to love it i played football for 15 years and just, no, like in the last eight, nine years, no, not at all. Did you play American or Canadian football? It was a weird mix.

It was a weird mix, but the field was a Canadian field. Is that like a different size field? Yeah, there's no... Like a case or something? There's the 50-yard line. There's like something there's uh there's the 50 yard line there's a like a center line there's two 50 yard lines in american the 50 yard line is the middle and canadian there's a 50 yard line on both sides and then a middle a center line so it's a longer field yeah okay how much longer is deeper 10 yards and the end zone is deeper the end zone is deeper. 10 yards. The end zone is deeper. The end zone is deeper, too.

What did the XFL do back in the day? Didn't they make a shorter field and a bigger end zone to, like, you know, beep up the scoring? Arena was a smaller football field, I think, wasn't it? Arena football? Yeah. It was tighter or something. But, yeah.

Man, that XFL was so crazy. what position did you play in i played for so long that it depended if i was younger or older in the age group at that time but more often than not i really took a liking to defense but i like to play linebacker a lot uh sometimes defensive end uh oh okay yeah i was tight end a couple years um i guess white guys can be defensive ends in canada yeah you could be you literally could be uh anything you want in canada what else what else would our defensive end be any position there was this like really funny meme the this uh ex-football player does a podcast will compton someone some like media or ex-football player not even a media guy ex-football player was like if there was an all black versus

all white nfl game the black team would run away with it like like he was like saying this in like anger he was like mad like about some shit and this uh will compton white guy was like made a video. He's like, let's break it down. Let's see what we get. And so he's like doing every position. He's like, quarterback, all right, the white team's looking good. We're looking good here.

The line, the tight ends. We got all the tight ends, baby. This and that. And then he kept saying how they were good at all the positions. He even said, he's like, we, you know, we can take my homes, but we might have to let him pick what team he plays for. Or we, you just exclude any, any, anyone who's half, you know, they can't play in the game.

Otherwise we got whoever, I don't know the other quarterback's names, but he like, it was funny. Cause he was like talking up, like, it's a good team until he got to like the defensive ends. And he's like, all right, the defensive ends here we're in trouble all right we're gonna need we need uh first of all we need christian mcafree to play both ends we need him to play offense and defense because he's one of the only guys the white guys fast enough to keep up uh as far as other white dns maybe this guy who's like a third stringer here, and there's a really promising kid out of Wisconsin right now.

We're going to bring him up to the league. And it was just hilarious hearing him be like, yeah, the white team's going to be really good. And it seemed like really good until he got to like the really fast defensive end position. I don't know who the QB would be. We're in trouble. I don't know.

He rattled a couple off. For the white team? Because I think I just – look, I don't know. He rattled a couple off. For the white team? Because I think I just... Look, I don't know anything about the NFL, but I did see some stat on Reddit the other day that was like it was like black people Twitter and they're like, we're doing okay. And it was like seven out of eight of the QBs in the

playoffs or something were black or biracial or something. I'm probably wrong about that stat, but it was very high. It was like most of them. Like, I don't know. Wait, the black team can't claim biracial people in this line. Then why can't the white team? No, I was saying this guy said that they can't. No, this guy's test was that if you say it, you can play on the black team.

But if you don't, you have to play on the white team. This is a very very very funny video did you see that larry david clip where he's he calls his ex-wife's uh lawyer a baldy he's like i can call you that that's like how the blacks can call each other ninjas i can say you're bald you know i'm bald it's fucking great as if that's something to say yeah pointed out hey baldy we don't want you he does he does have a moment where someone else is like yeah he's like bald and the guy was like uh yeah it's like a black dude talking to him who's also bald and he's like yeah so he called you bald and he's like yeah it's a hate crime and he's like um no it's

not he goes well i'm i was offended when he said he goes i'm bald i'm not offended he goes with all due respect sir that is a choice you are shaving your head we do not consider you one of us so you wouldn't know what it's like to be called bald when and he's like saying it to a black dude who's bald it's so true no that's 100 true yeah like like larry david he's suffered through baldness he's been bald as long as he was bald before he was famous he's he's had to suffer with that his whole entire life he was there's a there's a sure he's had that hairline since like 1985 yeah there's old as an eclipse of him with like a bald head with like fucking all the other

hair uh except for the on top but yeah episode of of curb they go to they like this uh falafel place or shawarma place and the people there are you know they're arabic and that he's going there with his friend jeff and they're going and they're like yeah we love this place you know and then his other friend shows up um super dave and he comes and he has a keep on because he's more jewish these days they're like what are you doing take take your keep off and he's like no i'm gonna take my keep off or it's fine they don't have they got a problem he's like no they don't have a problem we're not gonna throw it in their faces that were jewish he's like i'm not taking my keep

of like if we're not going in there unless you take the keep off he's like i don't want to and they're like take it off and they're trying to take the keep off his head. And all the Arabs inside who eat there are watching them outside, ripping the keep off them. And they slam it. And they're like, get them. They don't hear them. And they're like, get out of here. And then they walk in and they're all like clapping for him.

And Larry's bowing to the. And it's Palestinian. It's a Palestinian chicken place. And the hottest Palestinian woman, probably on the earth i guess comes up you made the jew take off his jew cap he's like yeah i did make the jew take off his jew cap i said get it off what is your name is i'm larry david ah larry david that's that's that's my favorite lar Larry David, the most Jewish-looking man alive. Sneaking under the right arm of these Palestinians.

She hate fucks him later. It's great. She's upstairs writing Larry David. She's like, fuck me, you dirty Jew. Fuck me, you dirty Jew. And Larry's very Jewish friend happens to be downstairs overhearing this, and he's so shocked and offended. It's so good.

Fuck me, you dirty you dirty the premise of that show so many episodes are so hilarious yeah and seinfeld had that too but seinfeld the laugh track ruins it because the laugh track for seinfeld has it follows the sitcom beat of like a beat a beat the laugh a beat a beat the laugh but the beat is so funny in in seinfeld just like in curb where it's like that could already have a laugh but you hold your laugh because the timing of it is meant for the sitcom and sometimes like the funniest parts is not in line with the laughing and i just wish i could watch seinfeld with no laugh track there's like a larry if you did watch it with no laugh track it would be jarring and weird because sure because the pacing of it like they have to wait they'll wait yeah in order to deliver the line i want to sit i want to sit through that pain like you're

like me you think you hate laugh tracks and then you watch it without the laugh track and it's like it did make the show i feel alone now it told me the show was funny and it convinced me the show was funny it convinced me that joke was good it works yeah but i felt like it does the wrong times like it's the wrong times a lot of time like in curb i laugh at like the setup the setup itself is so stupid that it's funny that but like they're not they never laugh at the setup it's like the setup itself is so stupid that it's funny that but like they're not you they never laugh at the setup it's like the premise itself is worth laughing the episode where larry has an assistant in his office this this woman and she's got a bare midriff so she's

but she's chubby so she's got these big love handles and and her gut is hanging over and her big belly buttons and he's just like, ah! But he's furious right now. There's nothing funny about obesity, Kyle. You've lost me. And she's up on a ladder, thrusting her gut forward. And Larry finally says something to her, but she gets all offended.

And it's little things like that where he's offended someone. I'm often on his side, though because i yeah i guess i hate people i'm like yeah the fuck were you thinking no there's no kids allowed at the party we're gonna tell adult jokes why is your why is your 12 year old at an adult dinner party i don't know i love that show i was watching it uh a lot this week has anyone else seen louder milk am i the only one watching that i have not i haven't even heard of that it's on netflix right it's on netflix the star is the guy from office space yeah you guys are familiar with him the main dude ron livingston he is he okay and um he leads a uh like an alcoholic synonymous group but i guess

it's people do meth and whatever and he is is just a sour, cranky, grumpy music critic who gets on everybody's nerves, and I enjoy the show. Is this a good one? Seven out of ten. Because I have so many shows to watch now and things that I like doing, gaming, whatever. I'm in the opposite. What do you need to watch? I don't have any content. I'm out. I guess I'm shows to watch now and things that I like doing, gaming, whatever. I'm in the opposite. What do you need to watch?

I don't have any content. I'm out. I guess I'm going to tell you. I've never seen Sopranos, so I'm watching that for the first time. Oh, any other suggestions I haven't seen? It holds up. I didn't know. The Wire I've seen.

I've seen The Wire. You know, I heard this Lord of the Rings movie is not bad. They're solid. Give them a watch. Go to Harley for show advice. i've seen the wire you know i heard this lord of the rings movies not bad they're solid give him give him a watch go to harley for show advice he comes back with the sopranos jesus 2024 i watched i watched like the 25th anniversary by the way better watch like three episodes of the new reacher series because i thought the first season was fun and i was like man this kind of sucks and can i tell you something it does but you know what i fucking

love about that show and i can't believe this is where we've gone is like like listen the new star wars movies came out people were like a black stormtrooper and this bitch with a lightsaber and that never bothered me but they're always like i don't like this they made the fucking ghostbusters women i i didn't care i never really cared but it's been going on and maybe the back and forth of everything is just like it's just been low-key exhausting me in the background i don't know but watching reacher this big strong white man who's so fucking smart and he know he's got no there's no issues he handles everything i saw him beat up a car in one episode he likes pussy car he's straight he's straight as hell he's gonna fuck this woman i'm watching this and i'm like you know what this is refreshing

like a fucking perfect white man it's been a minute and i'm talking about one reason one is that we talked about on pkn reaches a superhero film like they don't tell you he's a superhero but the guy beats up no you need cars he won v6s peoples with weapons yeah powers you need to be a superhero he never sweats it's no he gets their password right i was laughing this guy really likes respect who would he be and it's his own fucking name that was really embarrassing and stupid but he's not a superhero that is not the only password he guesses he can guess what hotel you've chosen he doesn't have any powers he does he's just supposed to be like a sleuth he's more powerful than bad what are you swaying me what are you swaying me here's why

if you ignore that he never says you there the super serum gave me the ability to bench press a volkswagen he never says that and there is no serum however if a volkswagen fell on him i'm sure he'd get it off i'm sure yeah he's the main character like no but it's a super serum he's got enough juice in his ass. He's a super soldier. Batman isn't a superhero. Is Batman on roids? He doesn't have superpowers. He's just a guy.

Reacher's on a lot of steroids. Is Iron Man also not a superhero? No, he's a hero. He's not super. If you tank a guy out of his tank, he's not a tank commander anymore. Billionaire philanthropist playboy. Black Widow's not a superhero in your world.

If I wear the Iron Man suit. Falcon's not a superhero. If you don't have superpowers, you're not a superhero. You can still be a hero. You can still be like Chris Kyle, who sniped those bad guys, if I remember right. At the Superdome.

At the Superdome. You got those bad if I remember right. At the Superdome. At the Superdome. You got those bad guys that were camping out at the Superdome. But you need... If you're going to be a superhero, you need super strength, super speed. Any superhero needs super skills.

No. He shows all of the signs of being an actual superhero. If in the third season they were like, Preacher, how do you always look like that? You're eating collard greens and beating bad people up. You live in a bus. I know you're not getting your eight hours and eating your protein. He exists on the internet.

He's eating pie and Clark bars every episode. You're telling me there's no superpowers involved? No, that is a suspension of disbelief. he's eating pie and clark bars every episode you're telling me that those superpowers involved i was bitten by a radioactive hot guy when i was a child i was bitten by a radioactive navy seal he turns me into the most powerful man of all time but yeah no you you literally cannot be a superhero i could i could see that. Hold on. I think Taylor is right there. But if we think a bit further, I think if a person can do something like, let's say Batman is not a superhero by that definition, but Batman stops a supervillain, he's got to get bumped not a superhero by that definition but batman stops a super villain

he's got to get bumped up to superhero status at that point i've walked the planet got a 50 the joker's not a super five zero 50 years five decades and i've never met anyone who knows less about superheroes than taylor i'm not gonna accept his argument that's not true tell me name a superhero i'll tell you what their power is reacher not a superhero you already got one wrong skin color that's that's one for taylor fire another one across my bow any superhero i'll tell you their power like havoc black panther uh ethno-nationalism he's the most powerful ethno-nationalist power he is not a superhero money he is a guy in a suit to get back to where we started though i agree with you when it's on season one reacher it was like holy shit this

takes me back to the 80s when we had like three different muscled up white guys who were just good at everything and killed everyone in their movies it's like an old school schlocky action shit with a with a refreshingly new uh character who i'd never seen before because i never saw blue mountain state season two reacher it's become the the ethno scooby-doo gang every there's a brown woman to fix every problem i i i couldn't watch past yeah but only because reacher tells her what to fix wait i'm confused because i know there's a what's her name nile negley what is the place i don't know if you could nearly, nearly ever told you you're smart, right? Like if people don't watch the show,

he is this partner and her name is Neely and she makes good decisions. All the time. What other Brown women are there in the show? I don't know. I turned it off after the second. There was just a lot of Brown people. There are just a lot of Brown people and that's not what I'm there for. You know,

Jesus Christ. I'm just looking for a safe space for me. That's all. Well, I'm current on Reacher, and it just disappoints me week after week. Why don't you dip out of shows earlier? Because I stick to the end. I pull the plug, baby, early. Dude, I read books I hate.

I'm like, ah, this will never get get good but i'll know what happens at the end example of this there's a there's a show on apple tv called monarch now and when i let me explain what this is because it's interesting it is a it is about the uh the monarch organization that like looks out for the godzillas and the king kongs of the world it's the organization that's heavily featured in all of those godzilla Well, this is a show all about them and them trying to deal with Godzilla and the world of monsters. Does Monarch refer to

a group of people, an organization, or a big butterfly? A group of people, a big organization. A global super giant mega monster tracking organization. They know about Skull Island. It begins with a D.H. John goodman sprinting through the jungle this is a show yeah that takes place in the in the skull island universe it's brand new it's on apple tv oh definitely well i loved kong

i love that dh john goodman running from the jungle and he's doing like a selfie video with like an old school camera so a lot lot of CGI because he's running. It doesn't look bad. And he's apologizing to like a kid or somebody or a wife he's left behind to be on this island. And he's like putting it in this rubber bag. And he's hurling it into the ocean because he thinks he's about to die. And then you don't see if he dies. I'm sure he doesn't because, you know, they're going to utilize him more than that.

And I was so into it. And then they like cut to this Japanese girl. And we stayed with her for way too long and then we met her like half japanese brother and we're still with her and i still hadn't seen godzilla or john goodman in a while is the problem with this show that there's too many squinty eyes in it is that what you're telling me i was told that kurt russell was going to make an appearance and i haven't seen him yet either and it's like i was counting on at least two old white men to carry this show and i'm getting to be wrong and i'm getting like four asian people and and and now they're down in like the bomb shelter hiding from gojira and they're all saying gojira all ethnically you know like i mean i know they invented the guy or whatever but come come on. He's ours now.

We own him. That's what we do. I disagree big time. If I'm watching a Godzilla movie, I want a lot of Japs. Full to the brim. Huge numbers of Japanese. These are talky Japs, not runny Japs. That's fine. I want both. You're going to need both.

There's going to be a lot of running Japanese. There's going to be a lot of screaming Japanese. There's going to be a lot of screaming Japanese. Did you guys watch Godzilla Minus One? No, I've never seen a Godzilla movie. That I'm excited for as soon as it comes out. I've heard it's really, really good. Everyone's like, it's so surprisingly good. TV show or movie?

It's a movie. It's like 95% Rotten Tomatoes. It's Japanese made. People love it. It takes place right after World War II, so we've got peace. But I think the nuclear stuff has either awoken Godzilla or created him. In any case, he's on the attack, and they're utilizing World War II battleships to hit him and stuff. And it takes huge chunks out of him.

But he's like Wolverine mode, healing up by the next time you see him. And the main character, I think, is a failed kamikaze pilot who's like, Ooh, this is a rebu. And so now he wants to take the fight. If only there were a worthy target for me to fry into. Oh, I wonder what that will end up being. I have a universe question. I'm a big Godzilla's mouth.

Is there Godzilla, King Kong, and Mothra in this universe, right? Yeah. Is there any others? Mothra, there's Rodan orra there's a road road rodan or whatever what's the three-headed dragon in the godzilla versus king kong universe yeah there's a new there's a new monkey there it's a it's a it's an orangutan that's like that's the type that's down there it looks longer and skinnier and it looks smarter and he has like uh it looks like he had some cool magical weapons king kong had a king

kong had a gauntlet like an infinity gauntlet really yeah they were doing a lot i can't tell what to believe and what not to i think harley's most of this is not all everything i said to you is absolutely true that's the guy's name is scar i think the monkey with an infinity gauntlet no no king kong has an infinity gauntlet that turns into a shield and stuff and and and he's he's underground there's like an orangutan that's like really smart yeah and he has an army of fucking monkeys and so what he's not bullshitting the the whole godzilla king kong shit has really jumped the shark and they've made like five movies of that shit and at this point they're going to the center of the earth with the girl from stranger things and they've got like a mech godzilla powered by some magical rock from the center of the earth but godzilla or king kong shows up with like a fancy axe hammer thing and

it's got that magic stone in it too and he goes all super scion thor mode with it and he teams up with godzilla and together they take on mechGodzilla, who of course a billionaire owns, because rich people are the bad guys. And they completely destroy Hong Kong, which is maybe the most beautiful city in the world at night. It's a crazy scene, but now they've made like three since then or something. They keep making them. But Godzilla, King of the Monsters,

there's a ton of monsters. There's like a Mothra. Mothra's the good guy. She's a Godzilla ally. She comes in and gives him some magic love to like super charge him up and then he like Godzilla's a good guy you know he's more of an anti-hero goes back depends on like you're really

worried when he starts stomping on San Francisco but then when like a three headed dragon starts just eating Los Angeles you're like shit I hope Godzilla comes over here yeah oh I did a for shows I said I said the curse and I said not to watch it but if you did want something desperately to watch

that's a very painful show to watch true detectives got a new very no like painful and like it is do you like uncut gems yes yeah so Saf safty brothers yeah they wrote and directed this they did that movie too um and so they are really good at making something look super real like they made like adam sandler to be a very believable jewish man character in that movie adam sandler jews they pulled that off this somehow made adam Sandler seem Jewish. The Eat Crazy Nights guy. They somehow made him seem Jewish.

But you know what I mean. You ever see Sandler before the nose job? No. Oh, I didn't. Is it offensive? Yeah. It's like you wouldn't... If you described him to a sketch artist, you'd be describing him to the sketch artist in that movie you'd be describing him

to the sketch artist the guy who like mugged you and the sketch artist would be like sir oh fuck you're a real anti-semitic piece of shit there's no way that your attacker looked like this like please describe the assailant uh well have you ever seen the Harry Potter banking scene? Have you seen Matt Rife before and after plazafigure? Yeah. Do you want to know what that is? Yeah, he had his teeth. He didn't have... I think you'd know him if you saw him.

He's a comedian. He's like 28, maybe. I'm making that up. Oh, the good-looking? He's very good-looking. I think his storyline is like he had a ton of female fans because he's funny and he's handsome. And then he kind of like pushed back in his latest special, tried to like reject them and get more guy fans, they say. But anyway, before and after plastic surgery, he is much better looking now.

Did he get anything done other than his teeth? I think he did his jaw. At least in his pictures, it looks like that. Oh, yeah. But he's just grown up. Maybe a little, but he still has an interest. The jaw could be the same. It's just the teeth that jump out at me.

And getting your teeth fixed. There's nothing wrong with that. It's been months since I've had that. I was talking about my Invisalign. Harley, did you finish your Invisalign? No. I have like i have like i have 40 days left right there close yeah i'm here i'm at the end i had an ortho appointment

today they go in there i go in there and i show him he's like show me your teeth i look and he's like cool it's working i'm like cool he's like all right so i'll set up another appointment so how do you feel you glad you did it not glad glad you did it. Well, I wanted to go get veneers that look like Steve Harvey's teeth So I'm very happy. I didn't shave my teeth down to nubs for a joke Bunch happier with this especially because veneers is totally a look in itself now that is everywhere and Like it's bothersome like it. I'm watching fucking book of boba fett and boba fett has veneers and i'm like what's going on here why does everyone have to do like these hauntingly probably dentures boba fett's 85 fucking years old yeah he's getting veneers

kanye went to the future with his teeth do you hear about this oh he went i got jaws he got moonraker jaws teeth he got titanium he got titanium jaws from fucking james bond um someone explained to me that those are like dentures that go over his teeth but they're like uh permanent or permanent you know they're like set in like like but but i don't know what to believe because as i dove through the comments i kept getting varying things. I imagine they're kind of like the vampire teeth. Did you see the cost? No. Was it $8.50?

I don't believe that. Well, that's fair. He is lying or he was had by the most shyster dentist of all time. A million dollars for a piece of titanium to put in his mouth? He could have got that done for $400 in Mexico.

Well, it depends. The reason that it seemed possible to me is it was before I saw them because it looks to me like it's just like a bar. I imagined that each tooth was going to be a perfect titanium tooth. No, it's like Jaws. He literally modeled it after Jaws from James Bond. Because the thing that's expensive about machining titanium is the tooling has to be hard enough to tool titanium.

And creating actual tiny individual titanium teeth would be so labor-intensive, and you'd be going through so much expensive machinery that I could imagine it being expensive. what he has like you said is like the james bond just like a bar which how does he even eat i'm not buying this one i'm not buying jewish dentist joke on him after all that shit talking he did that would be so funny as if some he's like yeah i'm going to my dentist dr silvigold and we are to get my teeth taken care of. And then he just comes out a million dollars poorer with rust in his mouth.

Nitinium doesn't rust. Kanye was so... No, he threw iron in there. He doesn't know yet. He just thinks it's titanium. It tastes like pennies in my mouth again. Kanye was so ahead of the game, the way it was like it was like a year and a half a year and 10 months ago or something but i'm on here and we were talking

about kanye uh wishing death upon all jews did he and everyone's like everyone's like that's crazy and then it happens and he always does that he does shit like pulls out some shoes he's a trend we're all like those shoes are silly a year later we all got the shoes on and he did that he literally was like yo death all jews and we were like shut up and then a year later everyone's like fuck get these tunnels out of here telling me i'm 12 months away from titanium teeth yeah we all are next time harley comes on we're gonna be we're gonna be toothed up we Next time Harley comes on, we're going to be toothed up. We're going to be tatted up.

We're going to be shat-headed. These really are nice. We thought they'd be worthy. Let's talk. The teeth were stupid. Why didn't we just copy the public press? I'm absolutely taking a bath on these teeth payments.

I'm impressed with... I'm absolutely taking a bath on these teeth payments. Oh, huge mistake for a joke. Dude gets blowjobs in Venice, and this is the part of him we copy? Yeah. We're fools. I'm impressed by that wife of his, and I'm impressed by his songs, always.

Like, I'm always up for a new kanye song really i like his opinions i like that he told he told kim k that there's a million of her and then he's literally has a new one she literally looks exactly like him her yeah he they're so similar that it's upsetting it's like a statement that he has made by finding someone so similar, but slightly better. You know, a younger, faster version. He traded her in for a newer model. You guys are all acting like a copy.

He had a 1988 Ford F-150, and he went out and got a new one, and you're saying he got the same thing. Yeah, but that F-150 he had is worth 250 mil. This one costs money. Yeah, but he's still got billions, worth 250 mil. This one costs money. Yeah, but he's still got billions even after the bankers shut him down. We'll see when we're done with him. We'll see when we're done with him. He's going to find him. Dude, Kanye is going to wake up one day chained to a radiator on a bloody mattress in a tunnel.

Holy shit. They look more like Nike. In a stroller. Kanye doesn't look like that. That's the best picture of Kanyeye taking the last 15 years kanye has not looked like that for decades pause this and go back to the other picture and this one you can flip back and forth kanye west in every picture every single picture looks like he's holding water in his mouth he's about to spit in your face it's like your friend trying to act like they don't have water in their mouth i'm gonna spit in your face every It's like your friend trying to act like they don't have water in their mouth. I'm going to spit it in your face.

Go to the other one now. It's because he got his jaw broken. Remember when he had the car accident? It made him famous. He's got water in his mouth. Also, his bottom teeth. He showed them off on Ellen years ago. His bottom teeth are like golden diamonds or some shit.

It's literally like he had something absurd i remember ellen asking him so are those diamond teeth i'm like yeah diamonds is better than teeth just say something stupid like i remember some one time he was walking by and someone yelled at him they're like you're an idiot and he was like i'm kanye west that's impossible and he said it back to them so fast i was like good good for you he was like i'm kanye west that's impossible and he said it back to them so fast i was like good good for you he was the funniest person in 2023 to me i thought it was so funny wishing death to jewish people hating jewish people and then being like oh by the way i watched 21 jump street and jonah hill was very funny i like jewish people again that's fucking

hilarious it is to To be all in on not liking Jews and then watching 21 Jump Street and being like, hey, alright. Those are the new teeth in the top right. Yeah, that's it. I'm sure it's the picture angle, but they even look asymmetrical.

They do. That's terrible. I hate that. It's so bad. You know know he's gonna try to bite something and hurt himself yeah this is what he had before his teeth are fine i heard i heard a funny those were diamonds oh then they're not so someone had an ugly tattoo and uh the person said to them i said well i hope it's important to you and i thought that was such a great low-key nice way to say something but also diss so like for his teeth I hope those are important to him

I hope they are because they're fucking dumb to us did I tell you guys to watch Jury Duty by the way you did not the prank show right did you watch that yet Woody or like do I give you recommendations and they just disappear

you recommended Sopranos. Don't act like I should hang on your every word. That's why I'm offended and I brought up other shows. He's a genius. That's why I brought up other shows three times, making sure he's got my good shows. You think Christopher's going to stay off the drugs? I think him and Adriana are going to get married and go the whole way.

I wrote it down. Thank you. Okay, yeah, Jerry. Did you like it, Kyle? I didn't. I thought it was a little awkward. And I kept thinking that it might be just fake, you know, that everybody was in on the joke and they were kind of like.

Every single person was lying, you think? Like maybe a big improv class is kind of what it seemed like sometimes, I guess. And I'm just suspicious of that. It definitely is a big improv class, but I think that main guy did not know that it was a show. Yeah, I bought that. Just some of the other editing stuff irked me just a little. I thought it was okay. It wasn't bad.

I thought it was a really neat premise. I like the premise of going full bore with a whole conspiracy to weird out one guy. Like that's a neat premise. I like prank shows. There was a hidden camera show that did this thing where dude goes into a porta potty that's just out in public in the street. And they assemble a room so that when he opens the door, he is now opening it into a boardroom full of businessmen having a serious businessman conversation and they look at him like what the fuck like all of like eight japanese businessmen are like what the fuck are you doing in our fucking toyota meeting cover the fucking

for the scion and then he's just like what where the fuck am i like it's some alice in wonderland friend i like that is that way is that the one he comes out of the the bathroom yeah that i love that's so fucking they've got like a whole team of people who have to like as fast as you can assemble this fake like shell of a room over the porta potty door i like i like stuff like that i watched two uh episodes i don't know if you guys would like this or find it very gay but i watched uh two episodes of that show, Strange Planet. It was like an animated comic that existed online with, like, blue people, and they're doing very human stuff,

but they describe it as if it was an alien planet thing. And they made a show, and Dan Harmon's the producer of it. And I watched the episode, and it's funny. But then again, if someone were to watch it and be like, this is the gayest seen in my life i'd be like okay okay i'm not for you um but i i did enjoy that show i will have the two episodes and i watched two episodes of the ted show and that didn't bother me i put it on because there was nothing really yeah and it didn't bother me it was like watching family guy kind of like the seth rick farland ted yeah yeah so there's a tv show now that's obviously set so that it's timed well with the Ted universe,

which means that it's in the 90s or the 80s? It's in 93, and that's why I gave it a shot because I love watching shit that takes place during those times. Oh, you were a kid. But that was not even just me as a kid. I feel like that's like peak. That was like peak humanity.

97. The 90s, yeah. you know you solidified it we weren't even thinking about y2k yeah not not me us like like americans i feel like 1997 i got pokemon red on my game boy color how fucking sick was that but how big stuff were you that's when f-150s you know how cool i felt getting a game boy color before some of the other kids had game boy color that? How big up were you? That's when F-150s went into the Kirby body style. Getting a Game Boy Color before some of the other kids had Game Boy Color, that was a big Christmas. It was yellow, and that wasn't my preferred color,

but it was the only one my grandma could get. You know the OG Game Boy could have been color if they doubled the batteries? The OG Game Boy had the worst battery life of all time. You had to throw like fucking four double A's in there, and it of batteries you put in it so like eight batteries and then it could be color like the pitch like like there's a there's a movie about about like the creation of the game boy nintendo and everything and when they pitch it to the guy they're like this is that they make him sign all the ndas take him to the like the top secret room is the Game Boy. And he's like, holy fucking shit. And he goes through the stats.

It's got three megabit processor and all these awful statistics for this thing. The Ks, you don't know how many Ks are in there. And he's like, what's the battery life? It's like 32 hours with four double A's. If we cut that in half and double the batteries, we can go to color. He's like, no, we want battery life. If we cut that in half and double the batteries, we can go to color. No, we want battery life. If we cut it in half

and double the batteries, we can put a really bad red tint over it, which is what the color Game Boy was. I was at the Nintendo store in New York City and they have a Game Boy there that was bombed in the Gulf War or something.

It's fully working and one piece and it looks like it was in a bombing but it survived the bomb a la like the nokia phone it's like there and it looks fucked up but they're like yeah it turns on you can play tetris on it yeah those were chunky those were chunky they were nice and thick you could not put them in your pocket that's why they came out with the Game Boy Pocket. I think that was right before the Game Boy Color. And so I knew a couple friends who blew their wad early, maybe a badly timed birthday, and they got the Game Boy Pocket,

which was just a smaller Game Boy that you could fit in your pocket. Then Game Boy Color comes out, and I show up at the playground in second grade. Not quite the king, because a lot of other kids got gameboy colors too but very you got your jinko jeans on you're like my pocket's good homie you got my jinko jeans on it was about it was five years pre-heelys but i would have been helium around if that was the thing which was awesome before we move on we're gonna hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors this episode is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com. pharaohdistro.com, folks.

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And that shows her that she's doing a good job. And you think she's alone in this? You're insane. Pre-show, Harley said the same thing. Pre-show, Harley said the same thing. Pre-show, I said the pre-show harley said the same thing pre-show harley said the same thing pre-show i said the same thing you know we all said the same thing pre-show when we're having gay when we're having the number one choice of gay sex havers on this podcast so lock and load uh start coming like a man nine pills a day muscle them down start ejaculating hard your orgasms are going to feel better you're going to be nothing

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sponsors. Nice. I still want to try cum pills. Yeah, we need to get you some cum pills. We need to hook Harley up. Why do you say that every time? We always do say it every time. You know what?

And I told, I told fucking, I told JT that I would have come pill sent to him. And I forgot. I need to, I need to send him some come pills also. And I don't know if you have my contact into, but I got yours.

Okay. I had to ask around for a bit of people were like, let me, uh, let me see if he's a cool with me giving you his number and i was like what the fuck who gave you my number i need to know i don't know if i want to bait them out like that i asked a couple people though i would have given you his number right away i would have been like yeah i'll tweet it at you

yeah but god woody i need you to come on my podcast now at some point yeah okay me is it really what do you mean me of course i always feel like third choice you are but not for any reason not for any it was never meant to be that way like it was never even like for example like you were you're now you are last because kyle and taylor have come on but the whole yeah but the whole order got messed up like i was gonna ask kyle first and he was gonna be then he got busy and then taylor came on so now the order was all fucked up so like yeah man you were gonna be the first i don't know what happened harley just had to ask me once and i'm like i'm there i'm there tell me what time to sit at my

computer and talk and you know do you know you could do that what do you you'll do that yeah i'll do it what when do you record tomorrow really yeah you want to do you have a guest tomorrow yeah oh okay you know you i'm very confused no i have you i have you but there's another guest also you want me to join yeah what time uh maybe uh i'm gonna text you i got your number but it's but the wings is the other guest okay no but that'd be sick i should line that up hey you should that would be great no i would never you know what i would never do i would never be a a gotcha youtuber i always hated those youtubers like i'll see a video sometimes even if it's a salacious video. And I'm like, oh, you hung out with those guys.

And then, like, you played yourself one way. And then you went out and you were a different guy when the video came out. And I always think about that video where those gun dudes. I don't know if you, FBS Russia. No, I'm kidding on him. Those guys, they uh like brandon and donut operator they were doing the range thing and they had these other youtubers go and shoot guns with them and stuff and then the video that came out they were like guns are bad and guns led

to school shootings and here's us shooting with these gun youtubers and they're like kind of chilling with those guys and i've been there but then after then they go and they put the video and the video like reads in such a particular way that you're like did they know that you were gonna do this video when you were hanging out with them uh the last yeah we don't do that either like sometimes never with you but sometimes pre-show someone will say something that should remain private we've never leaked anything yeah right like uh that time I came on and we were all saying the racist words. He never canceled me. Never canceled me.

But Harley can say it because he's already Jewish. Yeah. It's so funny. Like when things happen on PKA, I get updated right away because someone will come into my stream and be like,

did you see PKA had a girl on? Yeah. We had a had a girl on and like we had a super hot girl on and then our thumbnail didn't show how good looking she was i was very i was like yeah but you know what it's uh we needed to clickbait that thing but no but this is clickbait because this thumbnail is i know some uh your audience looking and they're like is this guy is this a guy not at all that she looks like a guy she's a very attractive person her vagina is a google search away what is a good salesman we had a super hot girl on you don't even know

yeah okay i believe it how did you get how did you how did you get a girl how did you come to i guess she's in the dick masterson universe who's a regular on our show and she's a regular on his show so oh yeah because i browse through her stuff i always like to see where people stand on things and i like browse through her uh page and i saw she had a Maddox thing posted up. Okay. And he had. Oh, because he posted the Dick Masterson's Instagram on this. And so she was there because Dick and Maddox are like enemies.

But how did you guys get this? How did you guys get to this girl? How did you guys just because it how'd you guys get to this girl how did you guys uh just because it's uh through dick like a connection oh zach says it was him who but yeah i think that's how because our show and dick show are kind of in the same universe i don't know what's up zach zach you you tug all you tug to this person here you go to their you go to their page you tug yourself right before the show ended sure all you guys or what we all jacked off i mean not prior to the show i'm not an animal no you got those cum pills you'd be splashed everywhere i think what he's right i think because

uh we usually will text beforehand be like who's the guest and chas was like yeah she's in the dick masterson universe were you like a girl i was on i was like yeah ah we're wrecking our streak i saw her right and she obviously vibed girl but i'm like i've been fooled before yeah you're like we've got some hot guys on before i'm not gonna believe into that let's get back on i did that with my dad so many times i would like show him like a picture of some sexy mom on his i'm like check this out he's like nice i'm like so i was born a boy and he's uh so now i show him actual hot women i'm like check this out of my face get this gay shit out of here and i'm like that's a woman you don't even know pussy you don't know pussy it's hard to know now again gaslighting your dad with trans people online that's a great bit i'm

gonna dropping trapping my dad i don't know i i found the first hour with her to be just dreadful like i wanted to kill myself but sometime around hour three when we found out about the p porn i perked back up and i was interested in that frankly i found the p porn hour to be just hilarious when she told us about the giant she did she has an only fans where and she's super kink friendly there doesn't seem to be a kink that yeah i was gonna say just because you have an only fans doesn't mean you get pissed on you know yeah no she has everyone just for p content because not all her fans like p content so she you know she kind of compartmentalizes it compartmentalize that's a better word and uh yeah so she's got a couple only fans i guess and a fan oh you guys gotta have like uh like uh is there a woman's month or something in

the during the year you know what's funny? You've got to have only women. Since we had her on last week, I have gotten multiple at mentions on Twitter from other OnlyFans girls being like, I want to come on the show. I want to come on the show. I want to.

It's like, ah, okay. I'd be down to try that. I like the idea of having them on like scheduling them for one or two hours because I don't want to dud for four hours and sometimes they could be. You know how women are, these silly bitches. No, I know what it is.

Especially the slut. Here's my take. If you grab someone from the YouTube or the Twitch universe, they probably have the gift of gab. If you grab someone from the OnlyFans universe, all we know for sure is that they're attractive. Yeah. Even that's iffy.

They've got to have the ring light set up, and if they're not diddling their bean, then how long can they really entertain us men? Am I right, boys? Oh, she's into... Men! Men! Men! Men! Men! Men! Oh, Reacher! White men men men men men oh reacher white men white men

oh whoa any men or people who identify let's get specific harley white men land owning land owning white man is fighting saturday am i right on that do i have the time yeah this weekend uh it's pretty i don't look kind of like a stinker of a card honestly it's the canadian card which i think they feeds them shit and they just eat it uh even sean was like yeah sean's fighting duplessi um sean was a did a very good job, I thought, this weekend on the mic, you know, at the actual pressers. First and foremost, some guy baited him.

He's like, hey, I'm a true to voting gay ally. You've said awful things. Go. That's true. But then he also, he like was crying about his dad a week ago. He was. He was crying about his dad a week ago, and then he was like, if I had a gay son, I son it was yeah it was weird it's like very hypocritical yeah of course but all that

being said um only for the fight i guess i will not be paying for this one this is a pretty real stinker the next few cards that were crazy you know max holloway's fighting gaethje at 300 um and and jim miller fucking jim Jim Miller fought at UFC 100, UFC 200. He won this last weekend at 40-something, and he's like, you know what? UFC 302, Dana White. And Dana's like, yep, you're set up, you're fighting Bobby Green. UFC 300, one, two, and three. Dude, it's so cool to see someone like he's of Joe's era.

He's from Joe Lozon's era. They fought in one of the greatest, I think it was he's of joe's era he's from joe lozon's era they fought uh in one of the greatest i think it was named fight of the year when jim miller fought joe lozon it's the bloody matt um thing and uh here he is still not just competing but winning he's i don't know how many in a row he's won it's it's it's a few um guys i i don't know if chis told you but i have to leave now did he tell you that? He did not. We wish you farewell. I saw you put it in chat. You guys are awesome. Thank you so much for having me, by the way.

And Woody, I'm fucking tagging you. If you fucking ignore my text messages, I'll fucking send you my pictures of my dick. I've never ignored you. Wait, how do I get pictures of your dick? Ignore his text. I'll send you a big answer in my text

Don't threaten him with a good one That's not what he said, right? Just make it clear Yeah, you should do it Get anything you want But yeah, you guys, thanks so much for having me You're all awesome Do I just press this?

You just hit hang up I haven't laughed early in forever You have? Later Harley What were we talking about? you just hit hang up i haven't left early in forever you know you have okay bye later harley bye what we're talking about we're talking about the strickland fight i'm kind of oh yeah yeah just everything for ddp but i think he's the underdog and strickland's favored to win that's what i saw surprised me i'm sure that ddp all right you know i'm having that Tony Soprano bet on the Jets we can't lose

my cousin knows the Kyra he's got a fractured elbow we can't lose betting DDP is the way here I love Sean Strickland I want him to win but DDP is going to grab him throw him down and TKO him

by round 4 has Sean Strickland fought a good grappler but DDP is going to grab him, throw him down and TKO him by round four. I has, he has Sean Strickland fought a good grappler. I don't, that I'm not sure either. Right? Like it to me, I'm a UFC fan,

but going through people's pedigree is, is hard for me. It's like he fought nobody's. He didn't deserve the title shot for lack of better phrasing. And then he did deserve it because he won. So scratch that. And now I'm like, oh,

shucks, you know, but what tests has he gone through on the way to the belt? DDP went through Sean Strickland a few months ago and that's all I, I'm not trying to trickle. Um, who's our boy, the Kiwi,

Robert Whitaker. Yeah. I can, I can see him. I can see like his facial hair and his like shortcut hair, but I can't fucking process his name. But that guy, I always thought

is like the man to beat and if you can get through him like you deserve a title shot uh i think ddp wins this easily unfortunately uh which because i i do love the train wreck that sean strickland on the microphone and when he's wearing that belt he gets a little more microphone time than he normally would and i think i like that he does yeah i i somehow don't like sean strickland but i do like him on my tv and he's interesting and uh um i don't know who's gonna win uh ddp has typically cardio issues but he got that nose job and apparently it's fixed his cardio he had to breathe through his mouth from like the opening minute and that's fixed now i know that they're like look at him he's huffing and puffing he's like my nose doesn't work you assholes yeah yeah there are a few like legendary

characters and i don't know like c-level cane and motivated bj pan and i forget what they call ddp but like sinus duplee or something like that yeah well that's offensive that's something he can't control and i don't like it well he got surgery, so now he can breathe through his nose, and apparently it's done wonders for his cardio. But if you look at his history, this is a guy who can barely make it through the third round in a five-round fight. If Strickland drags him to deep water, we got problems.

But is his history even relevant now that his nose works? I don't know. Does the UFC have a star problem? Because in two years, everybody's gone that we care about other than sean o'malley sean o'malley's like the last great white hope and he pulls real look his numbers are poor across like his social media stuff his youtube stuff does well but his pay-per-view numbers are apparently like you know what about patty isn't he really good at social media so that that guy's like a journeyman he's never going to be a top 10 guy probably he's he's he's not a good fighter he has

plenty of fans but he's not going to be a fighting isn't about skill on some level it's about attention that but but at some point you you progress every time you win you fight a better guy they can't get around that they patty's going fight a guy who's gonna kill him next next fight or the next one after that it's just gonna happen it's just gonna happen and and he doesn't have a massive i mean he's got a legal stuff in fights all the time right where they'll be like oh we know that this guy who's really popular they might keep you away from a wrestler they might keep you away from a wrestler but you still got to go fight a good striker. He's going

to get smoked at some point. But my point is sound. We're out of stars. The Gaichis, the Holloways, they've got like a year or two left in them. So my question is... Holloways are about to get retired this week. Aren't we always out of stars? I could go back a couple years and say Conor's about to

leave and I don't know lozon and who are the stars from three four years ago uh freaking who's the cuban science experiment yoel romero the fact that you had to ask that right there is in favor of your argument here that the shift change is so quick in this sport compared to others that there will be a new crop i'm not talking about champions i'm talking about stars there's only been a couple of them and they're all gone they're all going to be gone in two years the people who get who have ever had approaching a million pay-per-view numbers the people who get half a million pay-per-view numbers they're all gone the ronda rousey's the brock lesers they're

not coming back the conor mcregor's got one left in him. Gaethje's on the end of his career. Poirier's on the end of his career. Holloway's on the end of his career. Covington. Adesanya is approaching the end of his career. John Jones is one more in him. Colby Covington is not a star. He's got

one more fight. It'll be a grudge-hate fight and that'll be it. Sean Strickland, is he like... Sean Strickland's not a real star either like like none of these people are pulling those numbers i'm talking about like half a million pay-per-views no one is doing that except so i don't know on one hand pay-per-view numbers are hard to measure because we're in this era now where you have to have a us i'm sorry an espn subscription to buy the pay-per-view and that's crushed numbers people don't buy pay-per-views back like they did when you could just buy it so that's a thing it's hard to compare current ones to old ones

um what kyle's saying is true like all the stars are about to leave but i feel like the uc has perpetually been in that situation since chuck liddell and there's some new star that they managed to create but if you want to buy like i don't know who it is like we should know who they are now we should see someone like like sean o'malley is that is it you see like how long has triple uh c or whatever henry sahudo trying to be something that people will pay to see so hard he's been trying he will never get there there. You know he will never get there. You don't care, do you, who he fights next? I don't. I won't pay money to see him fight.

If they really lock down the streams and the only way to see Henry Cejudo fight to be champ, champ, champ was to pay $80, no fucking way. However, if you told me it's Jon Jones' final fight, the only way you can watch him take on Stipe to unify is to pay. I would pay.

That guy's a star. Gaethje, if they brought back Khabib and had him fight anybody, again, I would pay. That guy's a fucking star. George St. Pierre, same thing. If they bring GSP back and try to give him another belt, make him fight Conor McGregor or something in sanity

mode, I'll pay. Actually, you sold me on that. I want to see that. GSP versus Conor. At first, I was like, oh, they're wildly different sizes. No. Conor's big now. I like freak fights. I wish they threw a few. Dana's been hinting that there's

some top secret shit. Maybe he meant the Gaethje Holloway bad motherfucker belt. Maybe that was his top secret thing. I'm praying that it's Khabib because Khabib's coach was like, Khabib only trains with me when he's getting ready for a fight and he's training with me. Wink, wink, nod, nod. And I'm like, oh my god.

Who would Khabib come back for? Is he coming back for 170 pound belt to be champ, champ 30 and 0? Because I'm here for that. Let him fight Leon Edwards. Push Bilal back to the end of the line again. Fuck Bilal. So I'm a Khabib fan, and part of me is like, don't put that at risk. Don't put that. But you're going to get your ass kicked by Leon Edwards?

Are you sure you want this? I don't know how old Khabib is either. No, he'll be rusty. I don't know. I like to imagine him like Master Yodaoda just always training right and and like getting better and his style might be good against leon edwards oh by the way i thought of who the next star is is bo nickel if bo nickel continues his trajectory he's the fucking man because he's a white blonde haired like all-american fucking wrestler like thought of as like the wrestler of

his generation and uh and he's i don't know four and oh five and i'm not sure i've seen him fight have you seen him fight uh so i'm fighting uh yeah i've seen him fight twice i remember he fought a black guy and he's he's like shot and the guy dropped his hand and he fucking came over and clocked him i saw how yeah um so that guy and it probably has the best chance of i think that's how khabib a big star knocked down connor same thing i saw a little highlight of it recently like watch this more closely and khabib like he sort of fakes that he's going for a takedown and his eyes scream takedown connor starts to defend it and then if i remember it was some sort of overhand right big one sat connor on his ass and connor's looking at him like oh shit that's a bad look you're not supposed to hit me i imagine so many outcomes but never you actually hitting me with

your fist oh my god that was a shocking moment um so yeah i think they're also unifying the bantamweight belt unifying um you know because nunez retired i don't even know who those gals are i think it might be grasso the foot girl uh fighting some south of the border chick who doesn't speak good english and has man face what weight class is this in numbers 135 i believe 135 is the highest i'll pay attention to 145 there are so few women who are 145 pound athletes that it just turns out to be like soccer moms fighting each other for ufc titles yeah it's it's fat girls um and and like poorly shaping women it's like oh man you're so tall but your hips are weird like what happened like and then chris cyborg and that's it and they made that weight

class for chris cyborg well nunez can do that but it's it's yeah you could have cut some weight here you don't need to be cyborg at 145 i know it was one of my it was incredible fight to beat that that woman had never lost a fight or at least was on some i watched it again recently yeah she beat the fuck out of her anyway yeah it's quick fight strickland fighting ddp is a really interesting fight to me so i'm looking ddp tko round four four round four championship rounds we'll see i don't know i'm like there has to be a reason people aren't holding strickland down and beating him it must be difficult perhaps uh we'll see i like uh i like ddp either one of them i'm happy with being the champion of that because you know adesanya is going to be there in the ring and he's going to step in there and

cut a promo uh with whoever uh wins that i bet a lot of money on that's happening i wouldn't take it i wouldn't bet against you on that adesanya is like the guy who knows how to sell fucking pay-per-views he's going to step in that ring and start saying some awful shit like he did the last time remember when he stepped into ddp and was calling him at the n-word like screaming the n-word in his face and that really awkward moment that my favorite adesanya moment was when he made fun of uh help me with this guy's name point it's not Poirier. It's the giant dude who knocked Israel out. Oh, Perea. Perea, thank you.

When he mocked Perea's son. Yeah, that was a good one. That was a great moment. That's pretty awesome. I know y'all, I'm still following the Ukraine thing, but I'm afraid to look at the Israeli thing. I know it's like a guy got beat up outside the bar and he needed, he needed a good ass whooping.

And I go in to get my drink, like, cause I, cause mine's, mine's done. And I come back with a fresh beer and I had to wait a few minutes, you know, cause the bartender was being lazy,

even though I did. And I get back outside with my Coronas and they're still beating that guy. And I'm like, Whoa, Whoa, you went and found this guy's kid too and you're waiting for the lime if i'd known what the fuck are you doing guys dude it is ruthless it's genocide what they are doing yeah yeah it seems germany and france disagree who are wow our lapdog countries agree with us that's crazy i don't know if i come up

you know germany france aren't aren't our lapdog they are they are our little bitches they do what we say absolutely not we've been begging them for years to pay their fair share and into into nato and everything they begged us not to fuck with the Nord Stream pipeline. Oops. All I'm saying is that the Germans might have a different reason for not going to believe that anymore. I was wrong. Yeah, that is real shit with Palestine. I love Kyle's analogy. I don't like scrolling past.

You're still beating that guy? He learned his lesson three minutes ago. It's like these kids have nothing to do with what you're mad about that yes that guy like what the fuck this is insane if any other country was doing this the u.s would be like whoa yeah and israel's like well in our defense they're using him as human shields there's nothing we could do yeah what do you do and it's like israel let's stop hear me for a second let's say they were using israelis as human shields would you change your tactics at all no because they are there's israelis in the over there held hostages they never they stopped bombing for like a day at a time to like swap

and there's like a hundred hostages and 20 000 killed those numbers don't add up yeah but each israeli is worth a hundred thousand,000 Palestinians. I guess so. There's some people who believe that. That's fucking crazy. It is a lopsided beatdown. I don't know. Biden gives lip service to like, you know, we might stop supporting Bibi if he

keeps all this genocide up. Yeah. I mean, hypothetically, we might stop. Anyway, I'm off to speak at the annual AIPAC summit, by the way. But yeah, totally we're going to... Yeah, okay.

You know what that sound is in the distance? That chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga? That's the Trump train. It's the Trump train coming. Trump is going to support the same stuff. Trump was so pro-Israel. Trump is unbelievably pro-Israel. Trump is unbelievably pro-Israel. Yeah. Trump hates the prime minister of Israel.

His personal grudge outweighs any other political thoughts. Dude, all of his big donors are Zionists. Did you see his immediate quote? He was like, how did Bibi let this happen? What a terrible failure of leadership is who is the biggest donor to to trump in 2016 i think it was sheldon adelson who's like a hardcore zionist or the coke brothers there's only one brother remaining i believe but they were both hardcore zionists so like brother coke trump's trump's gonna do what his funders want him to do just like all these

people counterpoint last term just throwing it out there maybe maybe he's not oh i don't care what he does it's about what he campaigns on oh no you're insane you're you're crazy if you think he's not going to campaign on on pro-israel stuff oh he doesn't no no so he has all he has to do is contrast himself and not be genocidal all he has to do is that he's oh i genocidal. All he has to do is that. He's like, oh, I wish they would. So many dead children. I wish they would be more exacting and getting the people that they wanted to get.

And then he just mealy mouths away like he does. That's been my frustration. I don't know if it works with other people. Trump's ability to cast a spell doesn't work on me for some reason. So when I hear his Israel thing, all I've heard is that would have never happened if I was president. I'm like, that's not a plan, and I don't even buy it. But even if it was true, what are you going to do when you take over?

And he doesn't say. Yeah, he's going to continue to fund Israel the same way Biden is now. Yeah, I don't care about the after. I care about winning the presidency. Oh, I was just saying there won't be a difference in how he handles it he will continue to you know give lip service about how like oh this is despicable no he won't even say that he'll be like these every single one of them are terrorists and we're taking care of them baby netanyahu great guy have talked to him he's a

good guy like because he switches on that shit. It doesn't matter. He switches on Adonis. Right. Trump has shown friend versus enemy. He's very flexible on those issues. Ted Cruz is a friend now. Lindsey Graham is a friend now. He's a politician and a tactician in that way. Whatever is currently beneficial to whatever he's trying to achieve is going to be the direction he goes. I'm more worried

about winning the presidency. I don't care how he runs the country. Or for how long. No, this is all... I'm focused on winning the presidency. That's what's on our table. You're talking about winning next year's Super Bowl. We haven't secured this one.

We're still in the playoffs. But we know who's not going to win, and that's similar to the war in Palestine. Yeah, we know Palestine's not going to win this, and we know DeSantis and whoever else is in that crop. DeSantis could get the nod, but I think Nikki Haley's going to be your vice presidential pick. She sucks.

Okay, I think Nikki Haley is going to be your vice presidential pick. She sucks. Okay. I think they win, though. I still think Trump wins. I think he's going to keep kicking the ball down the field with his trial shit until he can pardon himself. And that's going to be that on all of that. And frankly, it's going to be funny when he does it. And all those people, oh, just a miscarriage of justice. when he does it and all those people just miscarriage of justice

and seeing it. I can't wait for the pollsters to have that thing where they finally realize yeah, he's projected to win the presidency. I want to hear him say it. I want to hear him call him president again. He was projected to win 2020 up until like midnight that night.

That's part of his beef, I believe. He believes the fix is in. I don't think that's true. So I looked at 538 all the time and it really got it pretty accurately in the end. Oh, maybe I don't remember. Like when I went to bed that night, I was like,

this is unreal. He's going to do it again. He's winning in all these swing States. And then like, I went to bed and it was like 1am and I went to bed and then I woke back up and it was like, boom. All right. This is the the these are the odds for it looks like trump's vp maybe yeah why is it plus 1400 i don't

even know who christy gnome is i don't eat i don't either i just look she's pretty hot just a nice politics standard a nice jewish i have heard ben i've heard his name thrown around i don't know where i mean tucker carlson is only slightly less likely i i don't know about this one oh dude based on names i like tutor dixon what's tutor dixon up to i don't know that person who is tutor dixon tucker carlson would be an interesting vp choice oh my god dixon's a cutie that's a woman tutor's a woman tutor dixon she's a 46 year old lady tulsi gabbard isn't she a democrat i guess so is trump nah tulsi gabbard's a not a real democrat anyway go to the go to the bottom right wing pundit for a couple years. True. A few years now. Josh Hawley.

Kanye West. Damn. Chris Christie plus 50,000. Woody, is it an insta-win if he picks Kanye? He's got my vote. Does he even have to campaign if he picks Kanye? Imagine the music that he'd be walking out to. Kanye would rap

Trump out. Every fucking dude. The attendance would be finally integrated. He might lose a lot of his faith. Imagine the crowds at a Trump rally. Imagine what they'd look like now. You know how he takes like five black people and he takes his five Trump blacks and puts them right behind him at every one of those

events. Now the crowd would be swimming with blacks. Well, not swimming, but from your lips to God's ears, that would be the best outcome is if he named Kanye West as his VP. And then we got to watch that unfold. That would be so funny. Dude,

I love that show. The VP and I'm trying to win. I'm trying to get women back because he's going to get killed over the women's health rights the abortion stuff basically it won't matter because like he the the women that he would pick from are also like nicki haley pro-lifers i just think women might vote for if a woman's on the ticket my thoughts as simple as that. Maybe. I would love to see him pick Kanye.

That would be hilarious. Or any rapper. Pick Pitbull. Like, whatever. Just any of them would be funny. I think he wins if he picks Kanye. If he picks Kanye, I'm going to vote twice. You think Iowa voters are like, Kanye's on the ticket.

I got to give him my vote. We're going to win California. I picked him because they're like... We're taking New York! Picture someone who has a dirty John Deere hat he wears daily. Is he voting with Kanye on the ticket? That guy does not care. He's a Trump guy.

It's going to look like Reagan. No, the whole country is going to be a blanket of red. All right? Kanye's going to write songs about Trump that he will sing while Trump walks out. It's going to be a show. It's going to be incredible. Kanye will turn on Trump before November. The VP debates will be the highest rated debate of all time, and Kanye will battle rap against Kamala.

Kanye will leave the ticket and find a younger, orange presidential candidate to sync up with. That would be funny. Upgrade. Kanye will call Kamala a house ninja to her face at the VP debates. And that's, I don't want to say anything too much, but if he did that, that's enough for me to commit voter fraud in multiple states, legally speaking.

You pull that Cartman maneuver where you fly all over the country stuffing ballots? Yes. I'm flying all over the country. I'm stuffing ballots in favor of fucking. I'm doing ballot harvesting where I'm just showing up at people's houses and be like, hey, throw your bucket in here. I'm going to throw a couple other ones on there. Some dead people. It's incredibly hard to predict what this race is going to do.

Yeah. So barring any black swan events, obviously, Trump is killing it in the primary. That's kind of locked in. But in the general, the polling is really close. So what happens when the, like, Trump is treating his court appearances as campaign events now. He's showing up at every court appearance he can fucking get into.

They're like, sir, we don't need you here. This is like lawyers wrangling about some technical issue. He's like, no, I want to watch. I want to watch the whole time. Huff and puff and cross my arms. Slow things down. Object. Make a shit show. He can't object. He doesn't even talk.

He doesn't have to recognize his objections, but he can say all sorts of stuff. They really struggle with him. So he just sits there, watches all day long, and then goes outside and holds a little press conference about how unfair it all is. And it's like, he is absolutely using his court problems

as campaign stops now. For sure. And it works. Because is absolutely using his court problems as campaign stops now. For sure. And it works because the people that support him see that see this whole thing is unjustified, like legalese nonsense. And he's playing into that being like, hey, look at how fearful they are of me getting another crack at it. Oh, they're so scared of me because I'm representing you guys, the little guy out there. I have to agree. oh they're so scared of me because i'm representing you guys the little guy out there i have agreed i would phrase it as it works in the primary right because right now he's trying to get votes from his base in the general i'm not sure coming out of his like fucking rape trials is going to work for him well like the the nonsense that's the one he's doing right now yeah yeah the one he's doing that

whatever so he he's been found to have sexually assaulted this woman and he had to pay five million dollars for defaming her character and then he kept on defaming her character so now they're doing another trial to see how much more he has to pay to get him to stop talking shit about this woman and it's just like a constant reminder trump the sexual assaulter trump the sexual assaulter i mean maybe man but they did they banged that drum so hard i think they kind of made it almost toothless now in 2016 and throughout all that do you remember like right before the main election that claim came out that he had like molested a 13 year old girl and that she was going to come

out and speak and it was real and it was a hundred percent verified. And then it disappeared because it was made up like that. That is the kind of thing that like a lot of people have become jaded to where they almost overplayed their hand and how much stuff they threw at him because now he can just hide under this umbrella of like, Oh, and just similar to this charge.

Remember this people charge remember this people remember this folks absolute nonsense the lying media trying to take advantage of me trying to deceive you like he's he's playing that and that will play to the base he's going for i don't know if he'll win a general if he'll even be allowed to run things he's frankly not saying the right things i i can't it's right things. I don't think anybody's writing for him. Look, I'm not saying that I should be his writer, but I've got some bullet points that someone should look at.

Sometimes say some good shit, though. You're good at this. What he needs to be talking about is inflation, because that crosses all boundaries. He can talk to black people about inflation. He can talk to brown people. He can talk to women. about inflation. He can talk to brown people. He can talk to women.

People who despise him love their money more. He can say, do you remember when? He could sit up there, member berries, and if he brought the McDonald's menu and he put it behind him from like 2004, if he showed the 2004 McDonald's value. Dude, 2019. I was going to say he wasn't president before, but okay, I'm listening. It picked 2017, 2018, 2019 2019 and it would show drastic pricing you could do that's you should do this kyle that is right that's really fucking good you show a menu from 2017 mcdonald's and show how much it's increased since then like that resonates some people will mock him but not everybody a lot of people will be like, yeah, shit.

Got some things. Food in particular seems to have gotten more expensive. Rent, housing and food is what you roll that. You roll that up and rent and housing are kind of you roll up. And then you're self deprecating. You say maybe you all don't eat McDonald's like me. I understand that. And then you go into some higher priced items that appeal to the upper middle class.

The retirees, you start talking about their 401ks, their retirement plans. You start talking about higher priced items. Remember when an F-150 cost you $32,000, folks? Yeah, $32,000 is a lot of money, but it was 0% interest, right? And you had seven years to pay it off. How much does a truck cost now? $32,000 is a lot of money, but it was 0% interest, right? And you had seven years to pay it off. How much does a truck cost now? $100,000. I used to buy apartment buildings for $100,000.

You're really right. This would be super effective. I don't know that Trump can do it, though. It's almost like saying, you know, Trump should show how athletic he is. He should go throw out the first pitch and show everyone what he's got. And it's like, no, he's just not that guy. Zach, find that picture of Trump catching Mariano Rivera. He's catching and he looks like he's never done it before.

He looks like he's scared to death of the ball. Underhand is okay, but it's his face. Yeah, he's scared to death. All Trump is really capable of talking about is how life hasn't treated him fairly, how hard he's had it how successful he is how these overcome the odds how i don't know people are mean to him those are trump's issues he's he's a narcissist in that way but a lot of people see him as almost uh that's so funny this guy claims he could have been a professional baseball player. You know what his batting average was?

Yeah, he could have been a terrible one. 200. He bat 200. Yeah, but what if he was the... What you're not saying is he was the greatest pitcher of all time. He didn't pitch. Yeah, no, I would believe that he was never good at sports. If I were him, I can imagine them showing those two photos to President trump his photographer i'm going we're gonna go with b we're gonna go with the other one

we're gonna photoshop your head onto yadier molina's and we're gonna really you know cheater when he's doing that big turnaround mid-air throwing back over himself like put his head on that his attorney just left him trump's attorney like hot one no she's still with him uh this is like an aggressive italian dude um he's supposed to be good i never know they always tell me every attorney representing these people is great and that it's a big loss but i wonder what happened in the background did trump say he sucked did trump maybe treat him like an underling and the guy's not used to being treated like that like i'm just making shit up i apparently he would yell at people in

the white house a lot maybe he tried that with his attorney his attorney's like fuck it i'm out of here did he not pay his bills he's known for that i don't know his attorney dropped him though idea yeah but not i can't remember who the who the um the lawyer is, but he's famous for being a rapper lawyer. He's gotten a lot of them off. He's mentioned in rap songs. They're like, still got my back in the courtroom.

Calling that shit like an OG. And then I saw a fucking court appearance. It's him and it's, I don't know, T.I. or somebody. And they're like dapping each other up and celebrating and laughing. And it's so funny it's i don't know ti or somebody and they're like they're like dapping each other up and celebrating and laughing and it's so funny it's like yeah this guy is a gangster lawyer he's a rapper lawyer it's so funny trump trump always strikes me as like it doesn't seem like he has the best representation based on all of those mistakes and errors

that that were made uh you know it seems like he would want a lawyer who's great this is the hot lawyer right whoever did that i'm you know it's it's a team of people the hot lawyer is the one that the hot lawyer is not the one you get the jury trial now apparently it was her you're supposed to check a box whether you want a jury trial or a judge trial yeah but you've got a paralegal and yeah well anyway this recent time she was supposed to introduce evidence into the courtroom or something and she fucked it up they had to like call recess and while she like i don't know google how to do it or something but uh it's uh she does pretty well on tv she's excellent uh on the microphone which makes me think like she's probably not the actual box checker like she

signs her name and everything but there's got to be like a team of people i know with my lawyer he was not the guy doing research that like there was a room with like six guys in it with fucking law books out you know like they were doing that and there was like some girls with in another room who were filing briefs and paperworky shit like. Like, that old guy wasn't filing anything. He was just coming up with some ideas, I guess, and talking to people. I hope. Heck, well, I can't know who's doing what. I only

know on the news they blamed her. Yeah, for sure. She's hot, though. He definitely, and it makes him look good to sit next to a hot lady, doesn't it? It does make you look good to sit next to a hot lady. So, I don't think it makes him look good next to a hot lady doesn't it i it does make you look good i would argue so i don't think it makes him look good next to a hot lady but i think that being a hot lady makes her more effective when she goes on cnn fox etc you just you can present yourself a little she likes him

and i like whatever she likes. Yeah. So I, Trump may have made a good choice there. She's like this year's Kellyanne Conway, except that instead of defending him on Bill Maher, she defends him in court. That Kellyanne Conway thing. No one ever thought she was hot though. No,

that was a train wreck though. So with the Kellyanne Conway thing, not only did you have her like opposition husband, but the daughter went crazy and there was like underage pornography posted on the internet of her and all sorts of crazy shit went and she was like going having these screaming matches with her mother oh i saw that and yeah there's all sorts of crazy shit that went down that was a train wreck that's a sad thing to see a family go through, frankly, is like parents fighting about a national political issue. And then the kid. A shitty kid.

Yeah, that is a really shitty thing for the kid to do is airing out laundry on social media. But, you know, you could argue that the parents facilitated that. I mean, the parents were arguing. Yeah, exactly. She is modeling the parent behavior and yeah rough situation um but i think kellyanne conway was amazing at what she did she was so good at it i was often very frustrated at listening to her she had these like verbal tricks she would do like you know they'd say, hey, Donald Trump is out here lying to you. He's pulling dirty tricks.

He says he can murder someone. Donald Trump is fibbing about fake electors, and she'd reply something like, you want dirty? Dirty is Joe Biden's inflation rate. As if she answered the question. She'd take one word out of what she just heard, use it in her

response, and act like she answered the question but she i mean that's that's politics where they'll like no one else does as well as kellyanne conway like maybe she's a really good spinner but they'll always do shit like uh press secretary for biden administration whatever her name is like what are we doing about high levels of inflation and she's like racism is bad and i am a victim of it and that question victimizes me a better it like desantis they would say would you do a national six-week abortion ban like you did in florida and then he would just like dance around it and not answer it and And to me, it looked very weak, incredibly weak. So they double down,

ask him the question again, and he danced all around it. Say something that didn't answer it. And I'm like, this guy's an easy pussy. He won't tell you where he stands. What a coward. But Kelly and Conway,

I always walked away thinking like my head spinning. What did she say? I just picked up the Biden's's an asshole that's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander rick you see the good people of florida they chose they voted they elected me and i own active policies that they appreciate down there but i understand that i think the people in idaho have different thoughts about the issue that's why we have this great republic where each state has power to live the way they want to live because california politics new york win you idiot yeah that's easy as shit yeah you can lie after you

get elected or yeah maybe tell the truth you can tell anyone none of this matters say what they want to hear yeah what kyle said would get more votes than what desantis is yeah desantis is i'm also taller than him we're all taller yeah we all are yes actual men desantis is the and i've i'm saying this based on like five clips where i've seen him he has no charisma not even going in on the boot thing. Again, the guy does not have charisma. He doesn't have the ability to amp you up. Like I saw memes making fun of him where it shows him sitting around his staffers and whatnot,

you know, talking, holding court and they're sitting there bored, whatever. And then it shows like Trump doing the same thing with his sycophants, his fans around him. And everyone is locked in on Trump. Like, oh, my God, this guy.

Because at the end of the day, a lot of politics is just being endearing to the group you're attempting to court. And DeSantis is so middle of the road that he's not endearing to anyone because it doesn't come off as sincere. It comes off as very robotic. You just know that he's not good at sex. You think? You don't think he's an absolute animal? He's saving all of it for that? He does nothing but eat pussy, though. He's like a wild man. He just eats

30 minutes of pussy. And then he's so tired, he just goes to bed. He's like, I don't know what you're doing, but I'm pooped, and slaps her on the ass, and that's sex. So do I have your vote? Honey, I just got to tell you, Trump is just such a good leader. And oh, God damn it.

Some girl's like, oh yeah, Ron, please take your shoes off. Actually, I'm thinking about the sexual habits of all the candidates right like i would have said ronda santos never leaves missionary position that would have been my take on him nicky haley all the regulars nothing special i know ted cruz only does doggy style because his wife will have it no other way she does not want to look at that man in the face oh i didn't uh Lindsey Graham is the same way. He's not receiving in this situation? Lindsey Graham is only doggy style.

Yes, yes. That's how he likes it. Yeah. Actually, sometimes he'll lay back on his back with his legs splayed and he'll make the stand or fuck him that way. Amazon style. No, not Amazon style. He's the one being penetrated. You think I'm a top that's

adorable isn't it amazon style if you're on the bottom too wait yeah but that's when no no but that's you're penetrating going into the vagina i'm saying that that sometimes i'm saying that reports are showing that sometimes lindsey graham the AP, Lindsey Graham sometimes lays on his back and puts his legs behind his head and then lets a staffer fuck him in the ass. I just feel like Amazon has two positions and both of them are doing Amazon. That's my. I saw that. Yeah, that was on this. No, it's on the ticket.

And it's not allegedly, Kyle. It's I think it's locked in. Allegedly, Kyle. I think it's locked in. I think legally we can say that it is a fact that Lindsey Graham has a case with men, right? That's why I'm glad you're a contracted employee here. Fawcett protection? Taylor's joking.

I was never in any of those meetings, so who knows who who knows. I'm just saying. Legally speaking. I read, allegedly, yes, I allegedly read that someone... You may have made it up. Whole cloth. That a male

prostitute alleged that he got it on with Lindsey Graham or whatever. That's the ladybug story I told you, how he's got all those genital warts around his asshole and they're clumped together like ladybugs in the fall when they're trying to that's right and i'll be clear there's no evidence that he takes it in the ass laying on his back with his legs behind his head but i i have a hunch that he does who's the best fucking washington dc oh who's uh paul ryan is paul ryan was where I was going.

Paul Ryan's not in D.C. anymore. He's got a residence there. He hangs dong. Bill Clinton back in the day, right? I was going AOC. I bet she gets down. My favorite big booty Latina. Who is the one-eyed guy? Is he pretty fit?

Dan Crenshaw, yeah. Okay, well, then he might be in the mix. He's fit enough. There's not a lot of fit ones. It's pretty easy to narrow down once you just go, okay, who among this group is fit? I bet that Omar chick is terrible. Yeah.

Omar, I don't even know her name. She's from Michigan. She's the Somali. Is that what she is? Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of Somalis in Minnesota. Black Hawk Down, never forget. I think she's in Minnesota, right?

I don't know. It's one of those. I thought it was Dearborn, Michigan, but I may have made that up. That would make more sense. You could be. I don't know. I have no idea. But I do know I've been transfixed on this photo of Airsoft Fatty.

Kyle, will you open that link i put in the chat oh my god don't open this zach we can't show this you're so fascinated by this man's body type oh see i'm not signing to twitter i can't open this me too sorry elon you're not signed into twitter you can't open this yeah once you like screenshot it and like get your twitter.com link stuck in 2023 you're doing jesus copy pasting with right click over there do i need to pull up snipping tool yeah yeah paint paint and pull up and add a little a little bar here yeah sign it at the bottom you guys aren't auto logged into twitter i know oh it is minnesota taylor was right oh nice nice you guys don't ever use twitter at all it's the only social media site that i pop into every day social

you go to truth social get my uh get my news every day you know get my truth social follow the big guy you know i open twitter when reddit links to it oh okay that is i mean yeah i imagine that happens a lot though right usually is just like a link aggregator every day it's mostly pornography or um you know war you know something like that those are my two favorite things if you're looking like i know you guys are both on reddit all the time for your sports stuff dude twitter's so much better you get the highlights immediately instead of fucking i'm sure the mma subreddit is probably exactly like the damn hockey subreddit where they're posting about a bunch of fucking nonsense

instead of posting highlights to games no the mma subreddit good not only okay then it's the hockey one that sucks then i'm not only is it instant not only is it instantaneous but it will be ranked in the order you want to see them did somebody just get a crazy wheel kick knockout it doesn't matter if it was on the prelims it's at the top of the page because this dude's teeth are on the floor did the main event happen two seconds ago here it is with like 400 upvotes already and like everybody's commenting and go and get a whole thread and everybody can make fun of whoever got knocked out i watch the stream i must be two minutes in the past. Cause I swear Reddit will like beat me to seeing it.

They're so quick. Okay. Then I think maybe my chief Umbridge is with our slash hockey. They are dog shit. I think the NHL NHL is more litigious and locked down with their footage then. Cause like the UFC will sometimes the day after a pay-per-view, upload the whole thing to their YouTube channel.

They're all about growing the sport. I had no idea. That's interesting. You get full fights. Usually right before a pay-per-view, they'll give you a free pay-per-view main event. I bet Sean Strickland's fight where he knocked, where he beat Adesanya is free right now to watch because he's about to fight

and like defend his belt and everything. Feels like that would be a great move for hockey, which is the least popular of the four major sports. Like they're trying to get more attention. What does it compare to UFC? It makes, I mean, it's way bigger than UFC, but like as far as as major the four major sports go football is the only one that i could see an argument for being like no you got to watch

it on our shit because you're gonna watch it because we're so big did you see this there was a graphic that showed i think the top 100 viewership on cable media uh all the events on tv throughout the year and something like 97 out of 100 were football were nfl football like rank 30 was like a presidential debate or some shit uh this is from a couple a couple years ago. But it was insane. What is this? The ranking? NHL ratings. No, not NHL. NFL. All cable ratings.

So what were the highest rated national broadcasts as far as total viewership over the course of 2020, whatever it was. And it showed. And every single one was like football, football, football. There were 30, 35 football games football it was there were 30 35 football games before it got to anything oh look at that nhl it was mls pulling ahead and look we always get baseball a hard time dominating the nhl like the threefold four oh no i like i enjoy

that hockey is less popular some some hockey fans are like we need to share the sport and get more people involved. It's like, no, because when that happens, they're going to be wearing gay people socks. You're already doing that. You're wrapping your sticks with rainbow flags and shit. No, they shut that down. I saw it. I synced it.

Oh, then they changed the rule to allow political messaging. No, he disregarded the rule. He wrapped his shit anyway. And they were like, look how brave he is. What player was it? You have to tell me what player it was because I'll either say it was really brave or coward. It was Krirovich. Krirovich?

If you would have said it was Vladimir Tarasenko, I would have been like, he's a brave man taking a stand for what he believes. What do you want me to say? And if you would have said it was Brad Marchand, I'd be like, he's a coward. And it all depends on what i like yeah um that's interesting it always you know what's interesting like i was gonna say the cricket like dwarfs all this shit by by so many fold that it's upsetting because there's only 300 million of us woody there's billions of those cocksuckers yeah india ratings blow us out there's like a billion

fucking people watching that shit like like three times more than us exist at ufc 17 i'm baffled the bellators right on their heels at 13 what is this like what is what do these percentages mean? I don't know. Of what? Yeah. There is no way that college football is 30 and hockey is 20. Like college football would be way bigger, right? I'm just not sure about this because I know in attendance number, share of UK sports fans who follow US sports in 2021. Okay. Oh, soccer, of but this is this is uk fans wow their only experience with hockey is some guy getting kicked in the neck that poor guy did he die he did die yeah i i that's awful he died they charged the other guy did did that continue on as there's as many update

in that case of the hockey killing admittedly i have not followed it but hopefully that guy is not a lot i don't know if there's going to be criminal proceedings but hopefully taylor's not a real fan i'm not a real fan i'm not a real fan of the stories fan and he's getting a little light on the stories this week when it comes to the English professional hockey club, I am not a professional fan. I watch Bellator every month. I keep up with these things. I don't follow the KHL either.

I don't follow the minor leagues. You're as bad as Woody. Until you show up in the NHL, I don't give a shit. I knew when the Cowboys lost. I was like, somewhere, somehow woody is sending a mean-spirited message to scum yeah i absolutely did somewhere somehow a stats and stories fan is sending a mean well-crafted message to a guy who lives and breathes fandom and is genuinely watching every game he's hurting on the inside. He's hurting on the inside.

This is like his girlfriend just broke up with him. It's a little, it's like a quarter of that much pain. And what did you write? What'd you send him? I sent him a YouTube short of that. Nah, nah,

nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Hey, hey,

hey, goodbye song. Okay. Did you, did you say something to the, like, maybe it smells like bitch in here? That would be so funny.

I have said that before. I don't know. You may not know, but that's a real popular one that the NFC guys throw back and forth on their subreddits. The NFL football subreddits all hate each other and and they have i know i think the cowboys locked theirs down or maybe it was the eagles that locked theirs down because so many of the opposing guys were coming and being mean yeah true i know that but one of them was like hey guys let's not be like the fucking eagles and lock down we're men here we'll take our comeuppance or whatever like They have these internal talks in these... I saw the

Eagles say that. They were like, guys, don't shut down like we did last time. Everyone made it and said we were bitches. Hopefully they didn't this time. Hopefully they didn't shut it down. Man, that's a ballsy message, Woody, when your team is about to also play a

playoff game on a a five game losing streak and i like it i like it because you're in the perfect position where you can be like shit talk shit talk shit talk and then even if your team loses you're like i sincerely didn't even care like so i talk my shit the next day the eagles get knocked out of the playoffs he talks his shit and i'm like got a backup team go lions i'm still in it yeah i'm like actually scum football is gay why are you into this i was trolling you yeah now that my team lost i'm done but it turns out that the best team of the three of us that are fans of is still there. The Chiefs. The Lions are better than the Chiefs. The Chiefs are still in the mix.

We shall see. We'll see. Or no, we won't because they play the Bills. Chiefs play the Bills, not the Lions. The Lions are in the NFC, so they won't face unless it's the Super Bowl. See, that's a level of football knowledge beyond me. Are the Chiefs in the NFC then, I guess? Yes.

Okay. I was upset about the Lions winning because Matthew Stafford plays for the, um, is it the Rams? LA Rams? Yeah. Um, and I really wanted them to win. That was a heartbreaking game.

He used to play for the lions. I'm sure there's some bad blood there somewhere along the way. Um, Matthew Stafford, of course, used to be UGA's quarterback. And, when I was a kid and,

uh, so that sucked that they lost. And also the lions lost teeth. That's what people say. That's what people say. No one says that but you. Kyle, it was trending on Twitter. People say it. They say, when you come at the Lions,

you better beware of our very sharp teeth. That's how they say it. Very wordy Lions fans. Yeah. Big posters. Huge. Small posters. Small posters. Big huge big posters small font let's go on my throw pillows but i know that you're now uh what what did you call yourself kyle was it falcons adjacent falcon oh oh um i don't remember what i said but curious yeah i'm curious yeah and. Yeah, I'm Falcon curious. I'm Falcon curious.

Yeah, and here's why. Here's why. Again, they are borderline irredeemable. This is a, it's in the 40K universe, somebody will do something awful. And then as a penance, they'll be like, for the next hundred years, I will fight evil.

That's how I'll pay back what I've done here. The Falcons owe a penance after that fucking Super Bowl thing that apparently happened a few years ago. Belichick said he – they say Bill Belichick might go and play in Atlanta. Now, if that happens, I am definitely Falcon curious because the internet says we're just a quarterback away from being an okay team. Yeah, maybe we can get Brady back.

We don't want Brady back, but we have the eighth overall pick. I think Brady might have originally been with the Falcons, but maybe I'm making that up. But I think we've got the eighth overall pick this year. So we could get a good quarterback. We could get a good one, a really good one. With the eighth pick? Sure.

It's not going to go QB, QB, QB, QB. It's not like we're getting the eighth best QB. We're getting the eighth best qb we're getting the eighth best player that's probably the second best qb right not most teams have a qb we don't make sense the falcons have no quarterbacks that are any any good no just be a chiefs fan i am a chiefs fan i said i'm falcon curious and only if belichick comes i am a chiefs fan i i really enjoy that uh that nerdy biracial quarterback they've got. He seems like a lot of fun.

Dude, Patrick Mahomes is great. That Kelsey brother is trying to fuck himself into being a billionaire, and if he manages that, then what a winner. Dude, he's been doing those vaccine commercials, getting that Pfizer money. You know she's the first white chick he's been with ever. Kelsey? I don't know his dating history.

Zach, show me Kelsey with all of his hosts. Show me a picture of Kelsey. I'm sure you'll find it. There's a picture. It's Kelsey with four different very attractive African-American ladies. Now he's gone white. Travis Kelsey

and his brother Jason Kelsey were they have a podcast both of them got thrown out of preschool for fighting in like different years like when they were in preschool they got thrown they got tossed out they were probably big kids right you would imagine oh they were talking about um how much they love dodgeball because they're both big strong they can catch and throw and oh yeah you know how much man like do you know how much i realized later in life that the amount a kid likes dodgeball in school is almost directly related to how early they hit puberty and got big because when i would hear people complain like dodgeball sucks even back in like grade school, I'm like, what are you talking about?

Dodgeball is the most fun day there is because you just get to heave it at whoever you want. I love it. The gym teacher said it was dodgeball day. I was ecstatic. Dodgeball and I'm spacing out. Volleyball. I love volleyball. Me and my boy, John Scott.

I was as tall as I am. And John Scott was six foot or six foot five. And he was a state level pole vaulter. He was the man. So we took volleyball very seriously. We're on the front line. And I could set that man up so well. And he would get a girl got a

bloody nose one day and it was like boys tuck it down because we were the he was smart like me and he took you have to take one semester of gym we wait till our senior year wait your senior year we're towering over this semester of gym semester of gym? You had to take one. There was one that was required to even graduate high school. One semester of gym. I think you could take more, but what we would take is either weightlifting or track. There was other more advanced. It was like gym 2.0, basically.

We needed four years. Oh, damn. The way that our gym class worked um you would so freshmen just run they don't choose what they do and then once you become a sophomore you start choosing what you do and you're all excited like yeah fuck yeah i'm gonna do archery and bowling and golf and like all the cool shit and uh so first of all they did it alphabetically And so first of all, they did it alphabetically. So I'm like the lowest grade as a Woodworth.

And I'm like, fucking jazzercise. This is the worst. I had like aerobics, jazzercise and like swimming or something. Chip sucks. I'm just in the shot where you have to get vaccinated over and over again. It was the worst. But then on the second day of choosing things, they reversed the alphabet. So I did a little better, but I was still a sophomore.

By the time I was a senior, I was like, I'm going to choose an entire year's worth of gym subjects that don't require sweating. And I didn't sweat my whole year. I had between you guys, I didn't have to do every year gym in high school, but I didn't have just one. We had to do like two semesters of gym the entire time. And I saved my gyms and my study halls for senior year to make it as easy as possible.

Study hall is just where you go in and you have like a free period where there's some like a proctor who makes sure that you are studying nope never never had but what it really was i remember for senior year because if you're a senior you don't have to show up for study hall so i would schedule it first class of the day and then i could come in like 50 minutes late or if i was carpooling kids which i often had to do i could just chill for like an hour before we replaced study hall with agriculture classes i suppose so that we could get our cat fit cat catfish farming and your whole high school didn't have study hall i i only know what i only know the term study hall from movies and television shows um and i genuinely didn't quite understand the concept of it until just now yeah i had like two classes of study hall a day and it was

basically just detention during the day you would have to you'd sit there you're supposed to be studying but i was such a horrible student i almost protested and i would sit there bored 45 minutes a day twice a day not work so how many classes did you have per day in high school it was tricky because there were like 12 or 13 periods, but some of them were doubles. The answer is about eight. Oh, okay. So our classes were either one hour and a half or 45 minutes. Yeah, we had block scheduling too.

So you either had four classes a day or you could have... Electives, I think, maybe were 45 minutes or something. Again, it's 25 fucking years or some shit. So it's... I don't really remember how I spent those days. I was just kind of head forward trying not to snap um but it's not worth it i hate this i'm gonna shoot guns online close um but but i think they were hour and a half long classes and there were four a day but there was no like all right go in this room and don't do anything there was just another

class for sure there was you know no ours was super complicated there's so many fights at my school that they fucked up the whole schedule thing so the classes were like 13 minutes long but you had like six minutes to walk from one class to the next what so yeah well the thing is the classes would be two periods so 13 plus 13 is like 26 and then then you add the time that you're not walking. What can you accomplish in 26 minutes, though? Well, it would work out. I must have the times wrong because it would work out to about 40 minutes that you had to learn. Yeah, I think, like I said.

It was a way of getting lunch to be like. Lunch was like eight minutes plus the six minutes on either side you had to walk there. Half an hour for sure. Run to lunch, wolf it down, run to your next class, and try not to be late. It sounds like y'all were spread so thin, like not learning anything about 12 different things. I guess so. Yeah.

Because ours was like an hour and a half at a time, and then you had like alternating schedules. So it'd be like, oh, Monday, I have calculus, history, of time and then you had like alternating schedules so it'd be like oh monday i have calculus uh history and whatever other two classes and then tuesday would be a totally different lineup of also hour and a half and then wednesday would be back to monday and then i'm getting stressed thinking about that schedule this is one of my main nightmares by the way is is not remit i'm in high school and i don't know my schedule this is one of my main nightmares by the way is is not remit i'm in

high school and i don't know my schedule this is a reoccurring nightmare that i have oh my god i'm i'm in dr renfro's fucking biology class and i'm sitting there and i just realized that i don't even have biology on my fucking schedule none of what i've learned here is even yeah it's a year i'm a year behind or something in this class next year maybe while i'll've learned here is even yeah it's a year i'm a year behind or something in this class next year maybe while i'll be in here but i'm there's a math class that i haven't taken a moment of there there's a and i'm in there there's scantrons being passed out and i'm just what is go and it's just this complete meltdown and the more questions i ask from the authority figures and the children around me, the deeper it goes like, Oh,

you don't need, well, what about your language arts? I've never seen you in language arts. You, you don't need to be that. What language arts class? I don't know what I've been doing the whole year.

I don't have, I don't have that memory anymore, but what I, what's important is I have missed out on many classes and today is judgment fucking day. I have the same thing. You're not ready. It's going to send you to hell

is i didn't realize i had this class all semester now we're like three quarters of the way through the semester and i'm hopelessly behind and it's going to have ramifications that cause me to like redo a year or something like that but how crazy school must be fucking traumatizing. It is. If we're all into our 30s and in some cases... Failure. Because that illiteracy is still heavy, guys. This is still thinking about... 30s like us. Oh, yeah. Dude, I'll get that too.

Where I'll just... Early 30s like us. Yeah. Well... Actually, I'm 29. I'll be 30 next May. Yeah. Yeah.

Dude, I can't wait till I can buy a beer legally at the store. Because I'll pretend... Dude, I can't wait till I can buy a beer legally at the store. I remember you were talking about missing or like being in the wrong class and you gave me like a brain blast back to genuinely day one of my high school. Day one, I went into a class that I thought I was supposed to be in and I was sitting in there and there's a bunch of people and it was like mixed class, obviously. So like upperclassmen are in there. It's not just me. And I, or not just freshmen rather. And they go through the roll call and everything and it gets to the end and they didn't call me. And so I'm like sitting, not in the very front but like second row and the door is way behind and so then she was like all right if I didn't call your name you're in the wrong class so head to where

you're supposed to be and I had to get up I had to I had to get up in like in front of all the this is day one of high school you're establishing a rep and and i had to stand up because i was in the wrong class and grab my book bag and shove stuff back in there and then leave and the upperclassmen were all laughing at me and the teacher giggled at me and i remember thinking oh the teacher laughed at me too yourself then like this is awful and then i went and pooped my pants i cried no matter no i i got out of there and i walked out and i remember like leaving the door to like the sound of people like giggling at me and like closing the door behind me in a now empty hallway no one's in there and I have to find my new class and just closing it and thinking like what this couldn't have gone worse for you Taylor

like without pooping your pants or doing something really embarrassing like everyone now is going to see you and think there's that retard who didn't know what class he was supposed to be obviously didn't end up being a big deal but that was very embarrassing at the time being in the wrong class that's why um i always say sopranos is the best show at depicting dreams realistically or the way they feel because Tony has this dream where, um, uh, he's, he's, he's talking to his coach, uh, from high school and the coach is given, getting onto him because he's unprepared and he is unprepared. And the bullets that he's trying to use to shoot him are melting into chocolate, into his fingers. And in my dreams, guns, like if I need to shoot a monster or something like that, I can't pull the trigger no matter how hard and i'll even get both of my trigger fingers into the trigger guard

and i'm using all of my might and sometimes i'll even put it on my knee and i'm like pulling against mine it's like you know you do everything you're trying to open a pickle jar like i'm do anything i can to get a little more to pull that and i can't and if i do even if it does move it won't fire it's it's that dream of being unprepared and i remember uh after tony has those dreams he's on the phone with carmella and he and he's he's i had that dream again she's the one with your couch yeah you're unprepared yeah it's like that's the dream being unprepared was hammered into you from such an early age is like because the show stops the teacher goes whoa what do you mean you don't have your project everybody's got it but you

everybody's on you everybody's looking at you why don't you have it couldn't you afford a marker board or are you just too stupid maybe his parents aren't very good at their job that was such a terrible feeling right now it's like don't ever let that happen again don't ever let that happen and it's in you in here and your dreams your mind is saying yeah relax relax get your rest but are you fucking prepared are you fucking prepared when you wake when i was playing a shit ton of hockey in high school i would have bad dreams that i like let in a goal that i shouldn't have and it would be that same kind of like fighting running shooting in your in your example where like i would i couldn't move my glove fast enough to stop it. And it would be like

in the bad dream, it'd be like I hadn't made a single save yet. And we were like down five. When I'm trying to run quickly in a dream, my legs are like very uncoordinated. And so I will, if I'm in a hallway or in a home

or something where there's walls, I will pull myself along the wall to try to get extra speed. And I talked to my dad about this. He said, he told me that and answered it. He started saying that and I finished his sentence for him. I'm like, pull yourself along the wall? He's like, yes, I'm trying to get away, but my legs are so uncoordinated. And I'm like in this, I'm like in a bath of caramel standing up almost and so i'm just pulling myself trying to get faster down the wall to get away from whatever's chasing me those are the dreams i have like the nightmares i have because i'm always being chased

you know and something some monsters after you as a kid it was marvin harry from home alone as an adult it's often some good nightmares about marvin harry i watched you understand like we talked last week about was there an age you know like cap on what media you watched no never no r-rated movies were on tv like my dad was digging my dad well not home alone but like like terminator lost in new york yeah like like like i had a dream i was lost in new New York and Trump told me where to go. I was four! Then a scary burglar grabbed the handles of the sink and got shocked into a skeleton. You don't remember when Joe Pesci grabs Macaulay Culkin and hangs him from a door thing,

like a coat hanger, and he's dangling there. And they're talking about biting. He's like, give me those little fingers. They're going to bite his fingers off. And they're trying to make him, his hands are in fists so that Joe Pesci can't bite his fingers off. And they're literally trying to. They're about to kill this child.

And then the old man comes in with a shovel and shaves the day. So I dreamed Joe Pesci was going to bite my little four-year-old fingers off. I guess that was more grim than I remember. In my memory, McCulloch Hawkins was more competent than he really was my memory mccullough caulkin was more competent than he really was well that's the end of the movie spoilers i'm sorry guys if you've never seen home alone 1991 i thought he defeated the wet bandits he fought them off and he escaped from that zip line but uh but they you know they cut him off in the past because you know they're grown-ass men and he was like a nine-year-old child so they just hustled on over there and grabbed

every year winners making excuses kyle no i guess not no i i uh i see macaulay culkin quite a bit now on um like red letter media like doing their videos and stuff and i saw he got his hollywood walk of fame not too long ago oh and then his brother kieran won an emmy for secession so uh i don't know if you watched the Emmys at all. Did you? Not the Emmys. I watched Succession, though. The Emmys were fun.

It's always nice to see them get called out as pedophiles to their face. Always enjoy that. It feels like cheap, low-hanging fruit at this point, right? You just stand up in front of everyone. You say you make a joke. I saw your boobs. You're a pedo. No one in particular. And suddenly, Woody's so brave.

Whatevs. I mean, somebody needs to say it. They are. Are they? Which ones? Who? When? Well, I would start with that Epstein list, right? And then I would go to some of the people that there are always rumors about who are just sexual assaulters. usually people like eddie murphy and john travolta

yeah eddie murphy he likes the trans guys girls girls yeah he doesn't either hey according to him he said oh what he what came onto his masseuse or something like that? He's grabby with masseuses. What's plural for masseuse? Maasai. Let's get Taylor in on this. I think it's just like moose.

It's the same thing. Taylor will know, I bet. Taylor, what's plural for masseuse? I thought he was hard on this. Never mind. You got three masseuses. Hey, there's three masseuses over there starting trouble. Is it masseuses?

Yeah. Is it one of those words where you can just use it, the singular as the plural? That's what I suggested, like moose. I thought it was like, yeah, three masseuse were there. How many missus would you like? It's masseuses. Masseuses.

Damn. Both sides. Dude, I am so sick right now. I haven't told anyone. But like. What do you have? Sneezing in the runny nose. AIDS.

Pick up. Yesterday morning, I got up. Nobody's got AIDS. Before I normally do. It was like 6 a.m or something i was like all right i have to pee because i had ginger ale felt a little nauseous i'm peeing and i'm so fucking dizzy i'm like losing it putting my hand on like the window and as you know like you can't like stop task. Once you start peeing, you've got to be committed. You've got to make it to the end.

And I'm like, fuck, I just need to finish what I'm doing and get back in bed. And if I can lay down in bed, I can weather through anything. Sure. Didn't go like that. I finished peeing and wrapped up, I guess. And then I'm just confused. I don't know what the fuck is happening. And I don't know who's hitting me, but I'm being hit.

And then I gather while I'm still in it, I'm having a seizure on the bathroom floor. Oh, my God. And my head's banging against the wall and I'm kind of collapsed and I'm not breathing. And I'm like aware that this is happening, but I don't have any counter. I don't know. I'm just fucking experiencing it in confusion. I feel the hitting on my head. If you do one of these things, you can't breathe. That's my situation. I'm curled up in a ball and not breathing, but I'm banging my head and such. uh like on the bathroom tile yeah next to the toilet like i i wrapped up i didn't pee everywhere or anything but i i come to and i'm next to the

toilet on the bathroom tile just having finished my seizure and i'm like fuck that that's not ideal so i get into bed and what do you get into pick myself up, I dust myself off and I, and I like, you know, touch all the walls on the way to the bed and everything. Health insurance. What are you thinking? So I lay back down and there's like a, it's like a, I don't know how it happened, but I think during the fall I hit my cheek or something. Cause I feel like I've been punched in the cheekbone. When did this happen? A few days ago?

Yesterday morning. Yesterday morning. It doesn't show anything on your face. It's true, though. No, I believe it. It's not bad. Do you think Taylor is making it up? I do not think he's making it up.

Yeah, so I managed to get back to sleep. And all day yesterday I was kind of a wreck. I just laid around. I slept in a recliner type day. Today, I was more in spirits. I mean to say, I was more spirited. I was in a good mood, whereas yesterday

I was wiped out. Anytime I tried doing something, five minutes in, I'm like, fuck this, I'm tired. You definitely need to go um get a brain scan but but i would also want to get your house i'm fine he's fine you know what am i tested for like radon you get tested for like radon or carbon monoxide or something like that like it's a possibility that like maybe you were in an area where like

you got gassed or something, you know, like, like I would want to know why I've had a seizure that one time from the concussion when I had that wreck. And it's exactly like that. You're, you know, you're hitting yourself, but there's nothing you can do about it.

In my case, I was going like the whole time. It's awful to be out of control of your body. I know exactly you described it. And I was like, yeah, that's it. It's all you got to go somewhere that's brain trauma or, or or like exposure to some sort of some sort of gas or something if it was gas

that could be many strokes or something that could be very serious it could be something that's happening right now that's getting worse i that that that like we could arrest they might say oh look you've got a little thing here that we need to go and up through your thrombosis or whatever in your armpit and fucking... Or it could be a whole bunch of nothing. His brain quit working and he fell to the floor. It was either Jesus or a medical issue. We should go to our doctor, Woody. Kyle, I've never had a seizure, but I'm going to steal valor and say I have. You're kind of being a bitch. Yeah.

What do you mean? He showed that bathroom floor who was boss, and then he got up, and then he got in bed. Yeah, I was fine. The floor was cracked, all right? I mean, I would be so scared if I had a seizure. Thank God I've never had to deal with that. I know you guys have both had multiple of them, right? I had when I was like 10, 8, and I was sucking down helium balloons while sick. Okay, well that one, it's like...

We know the cause. Yeah, you know the cause. I had my skull on asphalt going real fast, and my brain was resetting itself over and over. Yeah, you blue-screened. Yes. Kernel panic. So you haven't had anything like this, Woody, in 40 years? 40 years.

Yeah, that's true. And it just came out of nowhere. Or you felt weird leading up to it all day, other than the sickness. I knew I was dizzy when I was walking towards the bathroom. And obviously, while I was peeing, it was like, I just had to get through this somehow. I can't wait to get back in bed. Didn't realize I'd be delayed. Could it be like, isn't lightheadedness, like when you stand up and you feel lightheaded,

is that like your blood pressure getting too low all of a sudden? Or is it getting too high all of a sudden? Low, right? I thought it was low. Now I'm wondering if either could cause it i'm not sure i don't know i think like high blood pressure causes like pain in the head right like hyper like a hypertension headache i've heard about that but damn that's scary i would be so spooked if that happened to me. I'm less of a man than you because I would be like,

I'd be too afraid to go to the doctor, but I'd be Googling nonstop. And Google, of course, would tell me like, you're dying. Prepare. Here's an ad for a will. Google tells me exactly what I just said, like with my made up nonsense. It's that it could be some things that are not a big deal. And it'd be some very serious things. But in any case,

you should got to get a hold on it. Like, like we know now, let me follow up on that. Pish posh. You're fine. If it keeps happening, if it keeps happening.

Yeah. But I mean, one, one and done. Exactly. How about this? If I have one, you might be having many strokes caused by there. be brain, the blood might be cut off.

If I was having brain trouble, I probably wouldn't have this memory that I do. No, and miniature strokes wouldn't cause that. No? Like you wouldn't pass out and have a seizure. If you're having mini strokes, you would have weakness on your left side, right? Numbness. You would have facial drooping on your left side, right? Numbness. You would have facial drooping on the left side.

Okay, but it could be a lot of scary things. I just googled. Or it could be nothing. I don't go through the list, but it was a scary list. Woody, I'm not... Kyle, I don't want to scare our friend. I looked through a list of seizures, and I chose tonic as the one that seemed

to fit me the most, and it was no big deal let me ask you something are you capable of deciding whether you should inform a doctor no but i don't know if he can get can he give consent anymore i think he can ah there's a standing consent yeah with him and anyone around him. There's the rule. Just blanket consent going forward. If you're fit enough to catch me, you're fit enough to fuck me. Rules are rules. No, standing consent, I do offer standing consent. Yeah, of course he does.

Are you really honestly freaking out about him having a little tumble in the bathroom where he forgot where he was? Wow. Baby Kyle. Wow. Somehow this is a big deal to Kyle. I forgot where I was and I couldn't control my body in my bathroom. Wow. Bitch made.

Dude, I think it's's like what do you mean it sounds pretty dire not really i was doing that too hey we're recording this this is forever so maybe uh if i die it's everybody's problem but mine and if wo Woody dies, I'm going to say it was unrelated. You know, if Woody dies all of a sudden, I'm going to go on Twitter and I'm going to be like, was he vaxxed? That's what I'm going to do. Woody, how many boosters have you had?

Two. Oh my god! It took too long! It took way too long! He's too boosted. Kyle, you're not boosted are you fuck no I got the vaccine thank god you got two I got the vaccine but no boosters

see that's the reason I could never have sex with you guys I'm pure blood would I be more pure blood if I had Taylor's semen in my ass it couldn't hurt it's worth testing Would it be more pure blood if I had Taylor's semen in my ass? No. It couldn't hurt. It's worth testing.

I'm trying to put myself in the headspace of having a seizure. And I always thought a nice part about the seizure, weird to say a nice part about it, but I didn't think that you were there at all, that you were just kind of like shaking. And then after the whole thing concludes, you're oh my god that was horrible but to know that you're in it and thinking my face is grating on the gravel the way you said or woody's like my head's banging on the tile that is unbelievably scary like you have to in the moment part of you has to be think do you have the cognition to be like my evolution or like this is is he okay oh wait why is my head getting hit oh it's me that's like the evolution that i went through that's so bizarre my sole thought was

damn it i'm scratching my face on the asphalt like i can't tell how badly i got a date tonight yeah i mean yeah i remember the lore but was it was it was the threat of what was happening to you guys almost muted in the moment where like it didn't there's no i didn't have any thoughts beyond what's happening right now in this microcosm of a moment in which my body is out of my control. And I'm very afraid. And I remember screaming. Like, it's more of like a, but it's like interrupted. Because I'm struggling to breath.

It's hard to breathe. Because I guess I've lost. Everything's seizing. I don't know what a seizure is. But to me, it just seems like uncontrolled muscle impulse throughout my body rapid firing almost like you're being tased so i can't operate my diaphragm to fucking breathe and i probably had the breath knocked out of me from the crash anyway i remember um wow again it's sort of an unreliable memory but what i think i remember is maybe kind of snoring and of course there's the like, why am I getting hit?

Oh shit. I'm having a seizure. That's what, that's what I keep hitting. I'm shaking. And then it was like, if I don't breathe soon, this will get serious. Like I had that thought after it's like,

I really need to go for a checkup. I think, I think, I think you really need to go for a diagnostic checkup. Let it slide. It's fine. Yeah. Like when you guys were doing that

like what happens when you're flying or on your bike uh i wouldn't launch if i was that dizzy i was just what if you become dizzy yeah he wouldn't up in the air he's yeah i would be he's doing acrobatics while he's barrel rolling he might actually that occurred to me dizziness i was like what if this happens when i'm doing acrobatics over the lake and i'm like well i guess i just land where i land and the boat hopefully is there for me no you die no based no whatever happens happens i love that yeah well then i guess i'll fall in the lake and drown yeah life preserver will go after after it's done and you finish seizing and all that in the period like that you go back to normal does your mind feel the same is it like you snap back

or is it like like waking from a dream that you it takes a bit to be like oh my god that just happened yeah i was processing what happened and it was kind of a uh all right like we have to get back in bed like i have a mission to accomplish i need to get onto my feet jackie's in bed i suppose waiting on waiting on you. Yeah, she doesn't know. Of course not. That's what we do! And she'll never know! She's gonna find out soon!

Kyle's gonna... She doesn't watch the show. She doesn't know. I wouldn't do that, but someone should. Goddamn, dude. I'm worried. He's fine. Yeah, yeah. So I sort of came to, and I was like, alright, but someone should. God damn, dude. I'm worried. He's fine. Yeah, yeah. So I sort of came to, and I was like, all right, well, that's behind me now.

I have to get into bed, and I want to go back to sleep and improve. Oh, my God. That sounds horrible. Having a seizure sounds like a two-thumbs-down awful experience. One out of ten. And you haven't had any since then right kyle i know you've had panic attacks where you fall out or yeah that's a whole other thing that's like a your flight fight flight response is miswired yeah what is that experience

like could you walk through it yeah um so there's like levels to it um it's it's usually triggered but i'll get one of them was a fight with my dad when i was maybe 18 19 i was moving out and we're having this big fight about just money and and just all sorts verbal though yes oh yeah nothing physical but but but we're yelling and uh and and he's like we'll just fucking go he's like kicking me out of the house and he might have said something mean and i'm like i'm going anywhere you're not kicking me out i'm leaving don't act like you're kicking me out when i'm in anyway he said something mean or something and i could feel like um it's just it's a little bit like um when you stand up too fast and you start getting that

gray out wherever where your vision comes down to like a toilet paper roll. And that's part of it. But there's also another part that's absolute terror. And you can't breathe. You can't catch your breath. You're almost hyperventilating. And a countdown for me has begun that I can only arrest with cold water to my face. If I can do that, that's a literal shock to my system everything we're good now i need that because i don't know about you but i hate having cold water thrown on my fucking face it it completely like it snaps my brain back into the real world but my brain thinks we're dying in this moment like a bully did it once i stood up to a bully

and i was like i thought we're gonna i was like all right this is the part where he beats the shit out of me here it comes but fucking do it fucking do it and he didn't do it but i'm in there and then i pounded him no no then i went to the bathroom and had diarrhea while while i almost passed out because i'm a brave boy who stands up to bullies that boy's gonna think twice if i knew that was on the car in the cards yeah literally that um but but in that um if it goes too much usually if i'm alone um or uh i'll i'll lose consciousness if i can't get that water in my face and i'll completely collapse to the floor. Now that I'm older and it's happened enough and I know that it's coming,

if I'm... If a sink is close enough, I'm going for that. But if there's a bed or a couch nearby, I will quickly lay down. Because that's... It's terrifying to be... Woody's been choked out before. It's a little scary at one point because you're leaving the world.

There's that scariness to having a panic attack too one point because you're leaving the world there's that scariness to having a panic attack too because i know i'm leaving for a while um i'm going full out unconscious i'm going to wake up and not know how this happened i fell on asphalt before just like fell over and woke up with like skint elbow and like my head sore and it's like oh when's the last nobody nobody saw that when's the last time you dealt with one of these as an adult? Two years ago. I got a text message from a loved one that was it made it seem like someone I loved

had cancer, but they didn't. They're showing me somebody else's test results and it's like, fucking preface this shit before you send me all this horrible... It's like paperwork that says I'm dying. And it's like from a loved one so i start having this panic attack and my rowing machine was in an awkward place in my living room and so i had been stepping over every day and i needed to make that step to get to the sink but i couldn't physically raise my leg up high enough to get over it. And I tumbled over it backwards and hit my head backwards on the,

uh, the hardwood. And when I woke up, my, my, my legs were up in the air on the rowing machine and I'm laying there on the floor, just going,

ah, you fall really awkwardly when you have no control. It's like being gazed. So elbows and knees, all the stuff that you normally don't allow stuff you hit that you get the pointy hard shit right where you and the back of my head just eats shit on the floor so now i've got like a little concussion type thing on top of the other thing so you know that was the last time about two years two two and a half years ago i was at at two houses ago. Yeah. I'm curious. When you woke up, because I've been choked out a couple of times.

I wake up so embarrassed. And it's not even embarrassing. Like if you're training, this happens, right? No big deal. I've been choked out intentionally. Like, all right, I'm going to sit in a chair. And this guy who's really good at rear naked chokes is going to put one on. I'm going to go to sleep. And then I wake up.

Everybody's looking at me. Everyone seems to know what's going on except me. And that registers in my mind is super embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's, it's, it's because you don't have later on, you realize, well, that's not that embarrassing. We were all in on the joke, but in that moment, your brain doesn't have the prior, not just the prior 12 seconds when you're out it doesn't have the last day maybe to play with it no you know you're you you know who these people are to some extent i forgot but you forgot that you agreed to be choked out you don't know why is everybody looking you're just boom it's like coming out of a dead sleep and there's people there and you didn't expect them to be there even if they're your friends it's like what the fuck you doing in my room well there's a moment of terror yeah that's uh harrowing i would not oh it's easy to do that oh come on you've never done it i've never had a

big pass out no i've never been choked unconscious no you should do it it's uh it's a little painful um like like you to squeeze somebody hard. I don't know. It's an interesting thing to experience so that you're ever in a self-defense scenario. You kind of recognize when you've got someone out so you don't kill them maybe, but also so that you're not as afraid of that technique. Once you understand what it is,

it's almost like getting pepper sprayed yourself before you start caring. I spend a lot of time day-to-day in fear of techniques. If you've you gotta rumble with somebody in your billiard room one night, I promise your rear no-kid choke is your go-to, unless you get the stick out. You get the

hockey stick and start spinning it like blade. I'm gonna go gun mode. No, you still have your goalie gear. No, the guns are... Take the guns out of there because that's not funny your you still have your goalie gear now the guns are take the guns out of there because it's not that's not funny you get you still have your goalie gear i i have all of it i have so many hockey sticks downstairs i my pads are all gone but i have i need you in full locker my i have my glove my blocker and my pet or my sticks downstairs the pads got rotted out and ruined after sitting in the garage for like

13 years. We used to do this thing in high school where you sit at your desk. If I remember correctly, I think someone sits behind you or in front of you. No, no, no. I know what it is. All right. You stand up, but you're back against the wall and someone presses on your, you hyperventilate and then the person in front of you presses on your chest like where your lungs are to squeeze all the air out of your lungs and you immediately go unconscious that was a game we used to play all the time oh what a terrible game we can't even win no you knock each other unconscious except you put your hands on their is it the jugular carotid one of those yeah yeah they're like the same. One's the blood vessel and one's like the blood

whatever. They're the same. Artery versus vein, I think. Kyle, you can be the first person to choke me unconscious next time we're together physically if you play Age of Empires 2 with me. No deal. No deal? How about this? How about trade deal?

Tented hands. I play rust with you. You play AOE with me. Look at the tented hands. This is a deal. How much rust versus how much AOE? Equal time. Are we talking about apples and oranges here?

I'm not trying to scam you. I'm saying we play four hours of rust. You play four hours of AOE. Okay. See, now you play four hours of Rust. You play four hours of AoE. Okay, okay. See, now you've got me on board. Now I've got you. See, I led with something absurd to get you on board.

Fair deal. That's what it takes. That's a fair deal. I think it's good. Well, the art of the deal. You just witnessed it, everybody. The art of the deal. And we didn't even have to buy his book.

I read his book. Is it good? I bet there's some good stuff. Yeah. I read it when I was like 20 or something, you know, like Donald Trump was the, he owned the casinos in Atlantic city, two towns over.

And, uh, he like employed half of my teachers and shit like that. Uh, he was like a big figure where I grew up in ocean city, New Jersey. And I read his book. I remember bits of it.

Stuff about being like super bold. Like, don't be afraid to tell someone this is the best thing there is in the world. And he still does that shit to this day. I mean, from a sales perspective, that's correct. It is. And you know what? If I hadn't read it from him, I probably wouldn't have thought that. I probably like don't have thought that.

Don't tell someone that this is the finest hardwood floor to have ever hardwooded. No one's going to buy that shit. Just say it's oak and it seems good. It never broke. But I'm like, actually, if you're trying to sell something, puff it up. Oh, yeah. He's probably right. You want to set your points high. I bought a house before this one. No, I to set points high i bought a house before this one no i didn't i looked at a house before this one and uh he described the marble as like imported from turkey the finest marble or something or other and i bought it hook line

and sinker in hindsight i doubt that was true yeah he was a real estate developer sales is just about perceived value it's not about real value oh that sizzle that's that's how damn damn taylor dropping wisdom perceived value that's what you're selling so well and then two one four yes that's right it was the one with the soaked floor that house I hired an independent inspector to look at the home he went under the house looked for like five minutes and he's like I'll tell you what how about you just pay me half what you were going

to I don't bother writing up a report or anything just don't buy it he's like this house is so damaged by flooding and water. He showed up two weeks later, bought that place. He's like, you can't believe the deal we've got here, huh?

I actually look at it from time to time because I loved that house. It was 8,000 square feet and it had a swimming pool in the middle of it. I remember it. To me, it was just really dope. It was almost on a peninsula or an island. It was on a peninsula or an almost it was on a peninsula yeah it was the last home in the peninsula so there was like this lake that went around three

sides of it and it had a pool in the middle and it was just really dope in a lot of ways but apparently it was a nightmare and i do remember even my amateur eye could see that the roof was repaired in like six places and it was currently leaking and i'm like this is some real repairs that need to be done in this place yeah i remember there being tar and stuff and uh and it seemed like there had been flooding down like the pool had flooded into a sub either the floor area or there was insulation that was wet everywhere he didn't have downspouts on the gutters. He had been to Japan and he had chain link, like these big change you might see on a ship and the water trickled down the chains instead of a normal downspout.

And, uh, but you look at it more carefully and you're like, but there needs to be that, like either some drain that goes away from the home or those, uh, concrete. I don't know what they're called.

The little because those are trays that lead it outward. Yeah. He didn't have those. Instead, the water dripped down the train and then under the foundation. And what an idiot. I didn't buy the house. Yeah. So it would have been a mistake, I think.

But I still look back on it and I'm like, was a fucking dope house it's still ridiculous yeah but anyway i guess that's a wrap that's a wrap yeah all right uh check out our sponsors links in the descriptions get yourself get your dick hard make it come like a fountain and some other shit too pka 6 yeah get high thank you pka 683