Painkiller Already - PKA 684 W/ Wolf: Taylor Swift AI Scandal, Kyle Gets Poisoned, Wolfs New Game

Episode Date: January 27, 2024

PKA 648 with our guest Wolf Taylor This episode of PKA is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com and Blue Chew A couple wonderful products Wolf, thank you for joining us tonight My pleasure and Happy New Year y'all It's kind of late but you know

Happy New Year I like people who keep the seasonal cheer going To the point that it kind of bothers other people But they're like Someone has, maybe it's a family guy that's a good point how is your fourth of july wolf yeah or i like to throw one out for like holidays that you don't know enough about to dispute it where you're like happy arbor day they're like that doesn't sound right but okay oh yeah my kwanzaa was awesome oh yeah Kwanzaa talk to Kamala Harris about Kwanzaa

she does all the does Kwanzaa do candles? I don't know bro I wish I knew exactly what some Hanukkah people weren't happy about it if it's candle related I watched some sort of YouTube thing about Kwanzaa recently because I don't know

I never knew what it was I thought it was Black Christmas but they broke it down and I guess it was some shyster that invented it and it was some big scam or something like that and it's not a big scam no one celebrates it that's the thing like no one actually celebrates there's some it's like those stores that sell mattresses on every corner come on something's going on in there we know know. We know. I learned about it in university, but I didn't get the specifics as to the history and whatnot. So I have no idea, bro. Yeah. Before we started, though, you were about to launch into a brand new conspiracy you've been into enjoying.

And we told you to hold back. Oh, okay. Okay. So this one is kind of trippy. Okay. There was a book written in 1888 called Baron Trump's Marvelous Underground Journey. Ah.

And it's about a kid named Baron who can time travel. And it's a series of books, apparently. And I think it's like the third episode or the third book of the series. He travels to the future where his mentor named Don becomes the last president of the United States. All right. Come on now. There's no way this is real. There's no way.

I just found out about this like two days ago. Dude, Wolf is on it. It was written by American author and lawyer Ingersoll Lockwood. They remained obscure until 2017 when they received media attention for perceived similarities between their protagonist and U.S. President Donald Trump. Wild. Everyone goes on and on about how Lincoln's secretary's name was Kennedy and Kennedy's secretary's name was Lincoln. This is ridiculous. It's kind of crazy, bro.

Is there any mention to him being a giant in the story? Is Baron very tall? That would steal it for me. If it genuinely said Baron was, and he grew to six foot nine, he did. I'd be like, oh my God. Or the color orange was mentioned somewhere

yes but no i like i'm seriously thinking about like buying these books and reading it just to see what's going on but like i heard about this one and looked up the book and i'm like okay that's kind of crazy it's kind of crazy that is insane that baron trump's marvelous underground journey i i want to read it now. Like maybe there's maybe we can glean some tidbits from the future. Who cares about the narrative, Taylor? This might be a playbook for days to come. But the scary part is it was apparently he becomes the last president in the 1900s or something.

But when they emphasize the last president, that was like kind of scary. That kind of freaky. The last we'll ever need. Who knows if he gets elected again and then it all goes to shit. Or he just won't let anybody else run. This guy's a real prophet if he gets it right. He's already halfway there. Well, fingers crossed.

Today I learned about the Oklahoma panhandle. There are things about it I didn't. So here's what I already knew. I already knew it was part of Texas. And then so that Texas could remain a slave state, they gave away everything above that latitude. And it became part of Oklahoma. That's what I thought the history was.

What I didn't realize is that Kansas, which is above the panhandle, and Texas, which is below it um were both defined by their latitude so they couldn't just like grab it so nobody did and it had no laws and no like anything there was a place called beer city where cowboys would come and murder each other and like gangsters roam the thing like fallout it was just total like fucking um what's the movie where people kill each other was it even a territory it was nothing it wasn't a territory it wasn't a state it didn't have any government it was the wild west back but like kansas and

oklahoma and what year or what do you know like eight late 1800s and uh i think there was prohibition because it said there was. So you could go there and get alcohol, which I thought prohibition was in the 20s so I'm a little fucked up on that. They tried it a couple times statewide, not nationally. Oh, maybe that's it. Maybe statewide there was prohibition. That would make it make more sense. You wouldn't think Texas would be

the ones. I hear you. But yeah, I did realize the Oklahoma Panhandle, before it was part of Oklahoma, had no law at all. And people would just murder and gangs would roam and steal and whatever. When I was younger, like part of me would have been like, man, if I was back then, I would have been ripping and roaring out there. I would have been doing this and that. Now it's like, no, I would have been bullied.

Someone who was better with a gun would have stolen my horse and like my boots and I'd be walking barefoot in the sand. So I'm not worried about someone who's better with a gun would have stolen my horse and like my my boots and i'd be walking barefoot in the sand so i'm not worried about someone who's better with a gun i'm worried about someone who's better socially right i'm gonna go out there armed with what my biceps and this other guy has nine friends i'm like fuck yeah i got one friend like some dude with 10 charisma comes out negan didn't rule walking dead for his fucking shooting skills yeah yeah you just you just find yourself like in your underwear waving goodbye to their troop like goodbye man what a bunch of great guys that guy was the swindler he was so smooth apocalypse situation like everyone's hoarding food and guns you know what you should

get therapy learn how to make friends like that'll help you succeed in the zombie apocalypse dude you start doing therapy talk at some guy in the apocalypse he's gonna blast your head off i'm post-apocalyptic i'm already mohawked, tatted out, and some person's like, how was your relationship with your mom like? I'd be like, ah! We're not done covering that! We're wild now!

See, at that point, they're getting the fire pit ready for you because you're the next meal. There's no way. You're not essential at that point. You're not going to eat me. So which apocalypse are you imagining because I'm imagining like the road with the Viggo Mortensen movie

and in that scenario I ain't talking to no fucking body if I see you coming and I got a ranged weapon I am gonna shoot you and it's like Tarkov I'm not even gonna loot your body I'm running the other way your friends are all gonna hunker down like try to see me I'm running so fast.

Can you do the postman? Oh my God. Oh, the postman is such a much, the postman is happy days. Yeah. The guy who runs the, the,

the post-apocalyptic warlord in, in that movie is the Fonz compared to the bad guys in, in the road. When you meet a traveler, they are often missing their thumbs because what little society there is will cut your thumbs off for stealing. But Viggo Mortensen has one, maybe two bullets, and he's keeping them to kill his son and then himself

when the raping cannibals come. And they're always hiding from the raping cannibals, and they're filthy, and they're just beaten down. I'm unrapeable, Kyle. That's what you think until the cannibals show up. It's because I'm unbreakable, Kyle. That's what you think until the camera will show up. It's because I'm always willing. Oh. You're just like openly weeping under

a dilapidated overpass like, I chose this! Yeah, sure you did, bitch. Some guy with a fucking swastika on his forehead is deep-dicking you under highway standing. It's funny, because Belcher would be like, you take the sport

out of it. You're like, man, I'm losing my erection with this guy. You're like throwing it back. You're like, whoa! What are you doing? Push it back, bro! More spit! More spit! And that's how Matthew survived the apocalypse,

by learning to throw it down harder than anyone had ever thrown it down before did you see that poor reddit post the the lady is like i was wearing these are my comfy panties i was wearing them when i had a medical emergency and had to be taken to the er the doctor saw them the nurse saw them my family saw them they say cum slut in white cummy letters. Wow. This must be really comfortable. They're like full-size bloomer panties.

Like bikini panties. Can you go through that list again? The doctor and who? The doctor, the nurse, her family. They took her in. Her sisters. I doubt her dad saw it or anything but everybody else i think her mom saw it um what if you had the most comfortable pair of boxers on earth but it said like daddy's little devil and it had devil horns where your

dick is that's fucking hilarious you think that's funny when i bring that up because that's what I'm wearing. I'm about to checkmate your underwear. When I got arrested and went to jail, I was wearing yellow boxers that have an elephant face on the front with a trunk to put your cock in. That's pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't seem comfortable, though.

It seems like those glove shoes. I wouldn't like that. You know you get used to it. At first you're like... So you have to stand there after putting your underwear on and then cram your flaccid penis into a trunk? It's weird. It knows where to go.

Really? When you put on a glove, you don't have to put each... They just go. It falls into place. It falls right into place. He knows where he knows his home. I believe that if you're putting on your underwear hard. I do.

I double leg it like a fireman. You maintain an erection, cram it into the trunk and then you go flat and comfortable. At some point when I was a kid, Batman, Batman, the animated series influenced how these small ways in which I lived my life. Like, I saw Batman crack his knuckles before. I'm sorry, we can't move past that too quickly. He's been fighting crime ever since. I'm going to tell you. The Batman animated series made more impact on me than my own father.

It absolutely did. Because before Batman would get busy, you know, some, some gangsters in an alley, roughing up some poor old man. He cracked his knuckles, crack them. They'd all crack. I was like, Ooh,

that's what tough guys do. Sorry. Cracking my knuckles right then. I was 10 still crack my fucking knuckles. And what's the other thing? What were you just talking about before this? He was, he was talking about the elephant trunk underwear,

elephant trunk underwear, custom underwear, daddy's little jumping into your underwear. Baron Trump, the way that you put your shoes on and you're oh that's it yeah that's it i remember somebody was talking they were like conspiring against batman the bats puts his pants on one leg at a time just like everybody else and that was the first time i'd ever heard that expression maybe i was eight ten years old and i was like you know what from now on i don't put my pants on one leg at a time like everyone else. I double leg. And still to this day, when I get in the morning, I wake up, I sit on the side of the bed.

I grab my sweatpants, double leg, right on. Stand up. I'm starting my day. I know I'm already one step ahead of everybody else, even though I woke up literally. Sorry. Go ahead. Well, go ahead, Wolf. That's also the correct form to put on underoos, I believe. Mm-hmm. Yes. Or onesies. You go both legs and your dick in there.

Yep, you're good to go. I've been thinking so much about build orders for Age of Empires. You're mourning build orders much faster. You save a step with that double leg. Yeah. That's smart. I i min max my build order throughout the day the way you know like when i get in front of that mirror like like and there's like eight things i do after a shower or whatever like they're in a specific order you

know like like it have to be or i'll you know hurt inside once i've brushed my teeth and showered and like i'm dressed that's like freestyling? What else are we doing in the bathroom? If my skin gets really dry, I put that CeraVe stuff you recommended on it. You put that on? Yeah, after I shower. I'm not putting it on before I shower and washing it off. Why am I trying? He's upset that you're not using it

every day. You're using it conditionally? No. It's like brushing your teeth conditionally. You know, if I wake up with bad breath, maybe I brush. No. Always. That's his contention. I mean, that I wake up with bad breath, maybe I brush. No. Always. That's his contention. I mean, that tub that I have, at the rate I use it, Kyle, two years supply. Jesus Christ. Wow. I recommend the Jack Black's

pump stuff. Those blue bottles. It's like $50 a bottle for that moisturizer. It's really good. No, I don't know. I do a bunch of stuff in there. I fucking clean my ears and clip my nails. I clip my nails after the shower because they're soft and they're easier to clip you do that uh no i just do it whenever i notice i do it that's the move like like cut your nails right after the shower and they're they're really soft and they just there's not a big but in the shower though no no no i get

i actually do it over my sink like a barbarian and then wash them down the drain i don't know if that's that's kosher or not but it's what i do i do it over the toilet foot on the toilet end of the toilet and so they drop right in unless they're flyers and they go out you know no there was this is my house let it fly growing up i watched black sitcoms instead of white sitcoms and martin was my favorite is that what you really do taylor no that's disgusting just toenails all over my house my favorite i'm the man there's a there's a part where um i think it was martin and uh and uh what was his wife's name um gina gina martin and gina are in the bedroom and she's trying to be sexy and she is sexy she was always sexy but martin is cutting his fucking toenails and he like one of them flies off and the camera does this like first person view so So you are the toenail flying through the air and it hits Gina so hard in the

head. It like concusses her and knocked her back. And like seven year old me thought that was the peak of comedy. Like that was the funny shit. It was at that time probably. Yeah. Like, like my,

my, my older sister would do a shenanig. Martin would dress up as a lady and, and have these crazy titties bouncing around. She, they would forever. I never watched Martin at all. Really?

Yeah. Good episode on that. Wasn't mine. Do you have a robust morning psycho like regimen wolf? Are you putting lots of. I don't know if it's robust, but I get up. I drink a big thing of water and I stretch because I'm getting old, and 20 push-ups, then I go. And I recently, I used to down Red Bull, but I quit that last year, and now I'm like water and a little bit of coffee in the morning.

Was that hard to quit Red Bull? It really was. It really was it really was really really yeah i went cold turkey it was because i've been like i you know the habit right and i was like every morning i'd have a like one of the small things the red bull as soon as i get up and i would get my day going so to stop that like it was insane was the caffeine or just like the ritual of cracking a red bull and the taste and the flavor and all that stuff i is there's a combination of the caffeine and the taste and everything.

And it's weird because at one point, like a couple years ago, I stopped drinking it and I drank coffee instead, and coffee made my blood pressure go up, which was weird. But I guess my body assimilated or acclimated to the Red Bull, so that's why I didn't do that. So I cut the that. I can imagine a doctor looking at you like, his blood is acclimated to the Red Bull.

There's nothing we can do at this point. He's got it in the gutter. Just give him a monster energy and say goodbye. Red Bull or drone or something. Red Bull or drone. That's about it. The weird thing is when you guys...

Everybody has their weird thing that freaks them out or grosses them out. As the kids say, the ick. It's like people who brush their teeth in the shower totally gross me out. That would be a deal breaker for me.

Do you brush in the shower, Woody? Yeah, I have it cut out in the shower Woody? yeah I have it cut out in the wall for all my toiletries and I don't know shampoo, soap toothbrush and toothbrush I like the toothbrush to stand upright so it doesn't like lay in

I want it to hover in like a micro gravity thing that would be ideal but I'll settle for leaning on the little wall. And it's just an extra tooth brushing I slip in. When I come out of the shower, I don't always shower first thing in the morning. So, you know, I might like whatever, shower before lunch or after lunch. And when I come out, I like to be fresh in every regard.

And that includes having just brushed. That's a good point. I don't see how you guys are going to combat that. I just don't want you getting out of the shower. He's a married man. I don't think as a single man that's a good point i don't see how you guys are going to combat that like i just don't want to get out of the shower he's a married man i don't think as a single man that's a move or even maybe as a dating man or a relationship man i think once you've locked her down and your bathroom costs more than people's houses then you put a toothbrush in your in your shower and nobody will say boo about my wife does it too so i shower shower with Jackie like, I was going to say every day. That's not true.

It's like five times a week. At this point, it would be rude to not like offer like, hey, I'm about to hop in, you down? And she'll hold her toothbrush right there and I put the paint that she wants. I don't know. She likes it. So you're like brushing your teeth

and you're like spitting down at your feet and everything. Spit on her feet. You make out with it. You got the froth going on. You're like brushing your teeth and you're like spitting down at your feet and everything. Spit on her feet. Can you make out with it? You got the froth going on. There's nothing wrong with brushing in the shower. Like I said, I'm kind of weird about that. So it's a weird thing, right?

I'm not saying I'm normal. What do you think is gross about it? Or is it just disrupt your ideal? I see it as the same as peeing in the shower. There's nothing wrong with that. They're all pipes i i pee in the shower i mean i'm gonna go and break the seal on that one i've been peeing on the shower in the shower my whole fucking life i think a lot of people wrong with it yeah i peed in the sink like three years ago because i was just like i want to pee in the sink and so i did I told you there's a subreddit called Sink Pissers and I am the founding member.

You can join us. 187 strong. I dabble. I dabble in Sink Pissery. I wouldn't say I'm all in. Once was enough. As I was doing it, I'm like, this is kind of gross. This is the stink I brush my teeth in.

Unlike the shower where you also brush your teeth. Yeah, I've had it like talking about brushing your teeth during things you shouldn't. I've like been brushing my teeth in the morning, like post shower. And then I have to like shit really bad. And so then I like go start shitting while I'm finishing brushing my teeth. And then I do the quick duck walk, spit, finish shitting and then I shower again. Because if you've shit after you shower,

the whole thing's ruined. I want to feel clean and fresh. No, you just pull your balls. You grab your balls, you lean forward and just spit down between your legs. That's the move. It's going to get toothpaste all... Well, I guess I'm showering again. Yeah, about to shower. What are you worried about? Getting your toilet full of shit dirty with some toothpaste?

Come on. I didn't want to get it all over my penis. But you're right. Well, this is a one-time thing, and so I didn't have a plan. I just went into it. My only plan was like, let's get through this and the shower again. I prepare all my meals in the shower, too. I installed a garbage disposal in the crane.

Okay, crane. Just lettuce, carrots, everything. This meal was cooked in the shower. Okay, one more random thing. Everything we're eating was prepared in the shower okay one more random everything was prepared in the shower why is it do have you have any of you guys thrown up in the sink or do you do it in the toilet the idea of vomiting in a sink to me is so alien and weird and why do they do it in movies all the time because it's a better shot than the toilet i guess maybe maybe maybe even like there's i know back in the day it was um i think psycho was the first movie ever to to you heard the toilet flush it was a taboo they didn't you certainly didn't

show someone sitting on i remember when i saw nicole kidman sitting pissing on a toilet and then wiping her pussy and eyes wide shut i was like oh my god husband in the bathroom yeah it's like also that's weird but but but like that's kind of a taboo so my guess would be that it's a much nicer shot that that's more palatable for someone vomiting into a sink than you know into a toilet or whatever but in real life if you vomit in my sink I I am upset with I would be living oh yeah bro what have you done because you know it's got that little thing that keeps you from losing your ring and shit like there's it better be 100 water not 98 water 100 have you ever cleaned someone else's vomit yes i had someone get hammered at my house like within the last year and they like within the

last year i had someone come over, and we were all hanging out, having a good time, drinking and whatnot. And one of my friends got... He had gotten some rough news in life, and so he was hitting it way harder than everyone else. We were playing board games. No one was getting tanked, except he was. And he was sitting on my couch. I have white couches. That was a terrible idea.

He rolls the dice. He was sitting on one couch i have white couches that was a terrible idea he was sitting on my white one of my white couches and like looking down and like that hammered swaying like uh elbows on the knees you know holding your own forehead and one of my buddies had like a sixth sense to it before me because i'm like looking at the uh settlers of katan board or whatever and my buddy my buddy the Marine, actually, I've talked about him on the show many times, is like, Taylor, he's going to throw up. And I was like, and I looked over and I saw it. I saw it.

And it didn't even go straight to my carpet. It hit in between the cushions of my white couch. And so I had to go to the store the next day and get special pet enzyme removing spray and scrub and i use that and it got it like it's 90 95 out now but if i really look i can see i was i was way more displeased than i let on i'm so nosy i why was he upset i know you made it vague so was it financial if you're going to tell, I want to guess. Financial, emotional, or... Relationship.

It was personal. Hold on, let's get this. I'm not going to say what it was. But yeah, he was in a rough spot. And he yacked all over my fucking couch. That's going to have to be emotional. That's relationship stuff. Yeah.

So when I was 16, I took a girl i like to la cabana in livonia georgia it's a it's a wonderful mexican establishment if you happen through the area there's also one at heartwell georgia third location coming soon uh and um i've been there many times i'm sorry might be a minor, might not. And not at all. But I remember I bought her, I remember what she ordered. She ordered shredded chicken enchiladas. And I got to see them twice that night. Once when she ate them, and later when she vomited them all over and down between the door and the seat of my truck.

She was vomiting outside, and I went and got her a big gulp from the gas station to throw up into. We're 16, and we can't take her drunk ass home. We've got to ride this out. She had missed the fucking Big Gulp at some point and was just throwing up enchiladas all over my seats. I just remember the next day being out there with a fucking squirt bottle and fucking paper towels. I'm a big boy now. I've got a girlfriend with a fucking squirt bottle and fucking paper towels and like i'm a big boy now i've got a girlfriend with a drug problem i'm a grown-up now this is what it's like and i mean

that is the most grown-up thing a 16 year old can can do i think is clean you just have a drug problem make a baby oh maybe so maybe so. Maybe so. Felt like a big deal to me. When's the last time someone who wasn't you threw up in your home, Wolf? I've got an interesting throw up story. Okay, I've got tons of throw up stories because some people don't know. I've never drank alcohol. I've actually never tasted alcohol. So all my life, I've been the designated driver.

But there's one story that I'm kind of pissed about. I had bought my first Land Rover back in the day. And I was going to a wrap party for a movie. Wrap party as in the movie finished filming. And you wrap up with the cast and crew and stuff. So I was invited to this party in Toronto and the movie that was wrapping

was Four Brothers. It was Marky Mark, Andre 3000, Tyrese. So I was hanging out with those guys and stuff and my friends there, you know, it was studio money. So they're giving out free

food and free drinks and the guys who i went there were you know there was a couple of rappers and stuff that you wouldn't know and one of my friends decided they had uh unlimited crispy cream donuts that's fine so my friend uh was getting drunk and only eating crispy cream donuts for like three hours straight damn so you know you know being that being the dd i was you know make sure they don't get too crazy and stuff no fights happening all that stuff and i was gonna drive him home after which is cool that's that's what friends do so i'm here you know i'm hanging out with tyrese and stuff and and we're like i see them starting to sway and they're getting a little weird and it goes wolf i think we need to go home

and so we're going home like you know shiny your land rover and stuff and uh we're just in the middle of the highway and i go i just see him swaying in the back seat and i go don't you do it don't you fucking do it i just just got this freaking car, bro! He goes, don't worry, man. I'll be okay, okay, okay. I go, don't you fucking do it, bro. And I was like, if you're gonna throw up, roll down the window for the love of God. Roll down the window, please.

He goes, yeah, man. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. And he falls asleep. I say, okay, we're gonna be good. And then I'm driving. Everyone's sleeping past him. and all I hear is, uh, uh, from the back seat. Projectile vomit comes from the back seat over front of the passenger seat beside me.

Vomit hits my friend who's beside me in the car in the head, back of the head. And it's going everywhere. the fuck and it's just chunks of donut and the white sugar all chunks of donut he wasn't even savoring them it was the worst whole donut holes he was popping them and swallowing like and it was uh it was like winter we had to open the windows. I'm cursing as like and he's trying to say sorry and stuff. And then it's like I

dropped him off at home. I had to go to the friggin car wash in the middle of the night to try and spray this stuff out without destroying my car. Oh, it was just a pain in the ass. That guy's a bad vomiter. What the fuck's his problem? Yeah, he threw it on his like in his sleep.

If he would have been laying down on his back, he would have been a statistic. Could have been, but it just came out. It woke him up. Are you a loud vomiter? Because my mom would always laugh when my dad would get sick. You feel bad because he's sick or whatever, but

at the same time, it's like, he's so loud. It's just like, daddy's sick or whatever but at the same time it's like he's so loud it's just like daddy's sick it depends how sick i am like if it's i can be i can like i feel like i can proudly vomit if i'm only like a little like a little food poisoning amount where i'm like oh this is just the bacteria but like if i'm like really sick and my really it's how congested i am if i'm really congested while i'm vomiting it's gonna sound like i'm dying because like you're not breathing because like you finish the big vomit and then you're like because you can't breathe in through your nose while you're throwing up oh being sick is the worst the last few times it's been food poisoning and there's something about that where it's like it's you've thrown up everything and but your body's saying no keep going bitch and and by the end of like dry heaving i'm like teary

eyed and whimpering and just like my nose is running and it's just like i come out of there that was so horrible you have like those stomach convulsions like there's nothing it's just like stomach bile at that point it's like there's not one iota of even water in there to to puke up i try to drink a ton of gatorade when that's happening because growing up you said the last few times better you said the last few times how many times have you had food boys a lot all the time like like a lot like every couple months he gets it probably probably three times a year I get food poisoning, I would say. Are you allergic to something?

Like I was going to say. No. I don't understand. I've been having Mexican food delivered twice a day. How could this happen? Sushi at the gas station was great at first. I have been more careful over the years at what I would eat because I don't know

I like to go out and go to different restaurants and try new stuff but I get bitten by it a lot I remember back in the day it was Sonic that drive-thru place it's terrible, it's awful

but that place poisoned me and I swear to god i went back a week later and it poisoned me again that's such a dramatic way to say you got like a bad bit of food that they poisoned you i guess technically you're right they absolutely i'm telling you i was shitting blood they poisoned me yes yes i had an issue like in my memory like i can't remember the last time i dealt with that. It wasn't even like a year later. You went back like a week later? A week later. I remember my dad and I both got it the first time, and we're just dying.

And I'm like, you feel any better? No. So sick. And a week later, I was like, I bet it's clean this week. I respect your commitment to the scientific process, right? Like, all right, I tried this. I nearly died. But can we reproduce the results? Uh-huh. It's not a valid experiment.

We're in a replicability crisis. And Kyle's doing his part to make sure we can trust the science. Trust the data. I don't go to Sonic anymore. I've learned my lesson. But yeah, I get food poisoning two or three times a year. you shouldn't have to get sick to not go back to sonic i've never had a tasty experience at sonic every time i've been at sonic i'm like oh yeah i remember why i don't go to sonic it's it's like the door's blown off by chick-fil-a even mcdonald's is better than well

i don't know i did sonic no it's just Sonic? You go to Sonic after you went to the bar at 2 o'clock in the morning or something like that. I only eat when I have someplace to go, so Sonic doesn't fit. And if I'm on a motorcycle, what's the worst drive-thru experience ever? Just prop a chicken sandwich

on the speedometer. You'd look like such a tool sitting there eating like squanted. Just try and level out the plate for you. I like those clips I see and I feel bad for the people involved, but

we're a Sonic worker. They used to wear rollerblades and they just catch the curb and drop. One of Sonic's big selling points, and this is how you can tell a place is confident in their food, is they're like, the curb and drop because like one of Sonic's big selling points and this is how you can tell a place is confident in their food is they're like 70 cents and we'll give you 200 ounces of Powerade and it's like okay

half the time you see these people skating out with like barrels of Pepsi and in the clips they trip they fall and it's like an explosion you know they probably don't get in trouble because it's like yeah that's two cents worth of soda you just lost it's funny you say that that's when i think sonic i think of their like slushes those like frozen sugary drinks they they're like limeades i remember that yeah yeah like i that's probably what brought me there and i was like yeah give me a cheeseburger

too and then they poisoned me it absolutely is poison because that's doo-doo somebody somebody put some doo-doo in your food that's what ecoli is i just thought you know a restaurant that serves food on roller skates called meals on wheels would be fun meals on wheels but i want them to be in wheelchairs i want them all to be waitresses it's an old man. It's hot chicks, but they're crippled. It's hot chicks, but they're crippled. Check out the gams on that one. It's just two shriveled up dead legs.

Look at those tops! Man, fuck her like a marionette puppet. Oh, Jesus. Speaking of lemonade, my buddy, this is just last night. We were playing Age of Empires together, and he was like, hey, have you heard of charged lemonade at Panera Bread? And I was like, yeah, I saw the meme and everything.

And he's like, yeah, I had heard something about that weeks ago, but I went and I joined the Panera Sip Club or something. I don't know. It's like you pay a couple dollars a month, and then you can go in and get as many coffees and drinks as you want whenever. So obviously, you know, very few people are going there and getting a lemonade and not getting a scone or something.

So they make money. And he was like, I thought it was kind of like, I don't know, like a Red Bull or like a seltzer, a charged seltzer water amount of caffeine in it. And he said he got a large one and a small one and drank both of them and then had to go online afterward to look up how much caffeine it was and the large one is 390 milligrams of caffeine and the small one is like 160 so it was like 600 500 milligrams like over that of caffeine and he said there's no indication that it's that strong

like it doesn't take it like usually you drink something a lot of caffeine it immediately like parches your mouth a little bit dries it you can kind of tell so there was none of that there's no carbonation to slow you down and so he's like yeah i just like drank the whole large one unthinkingly while working and like a little bit later i was, why am I in such a blind panic? Why am I so panicked right now? There's nothing to be panicked about. And he said he was considering going to the doctor. And I was like, oh, it's the Panera.

It's the Panera charged lemonade. You know, it doesn't look that bad in this thing. I can't tell what all those drinks are. It's because all those other ones... Bang is the biggest one. Yeah, all those other ones are hot. Caffeine per ounce. This is the concentration of caffeine in these beverages.

Yeah, and so the Panera thing, that has more caffeine in it than a Bang Energy. And to point out, the Panera has the largest serving and the third largest concentration. Look how big the Panera... They largest serving and the third largest concentration. Like, my God. Look how big the Panera.

They serve you like a giant. But it's the fifth largest concentration. Yes, the fifth largest. Or I guess kind of tied for the dark roast about. But it's basically. It's still like, you know, the Panera dark roast that's right next to it that you'd think would have a lot of caffeine is probably half as much when you drink as the serving size,

half a serving. Yeah. Less than half. Like the Panera thing they're showing is like what? 12 ounces. And that giant cup is like 42 ounces or something. Like it's like a gas station sized cup. I was there the other day with my dad just getting lunch,

catching up. And I saw people getting it in that giant cup. And I'm like, man, they're getting to get so much done. I like that we live in an age of irresponsible food. Huge

servings, things that are tremendous calories. That's an American thing, though. That's the stereotype, right? Americans and food. It's not wrong. I had this team building event back when i had a

minecraft server and the guy from scotland came over and really wanted to experience the serving sizes of our drinks they went out at like 1 a.m one night borrowed my car just to go to a gas station and buy gigantic drinks yeah yeah i never. Like, even when you cross the border from Canada to the States, Canada to the States, it's, you see it immediately, right? Yeah. It's like, the extra large is like bucket size when you go to McDonald's and stuff, and it's. Does Canada have bitch-sized servings?

Yeah, we do. Yeah, it's small, normal, healthy servings. Paying for refills. I mean, you say to me. Do you pay for refills at the average? Not really, because some of the pop machines or soda machines, depending on what state you're in, they're on the outside. You fill up your own.

But it's not like in this. I'm going to say like an Outback or, uh, or an Applebee's like a chain style. Oh, no, you pay, you don't get, well, it's hard to say some restaurants are free refills. Not many are. I'm not tipping if you start charging me for Cokes. So, so yeah, it's, it depends on where you are. Yeah.

I'm so, I'm so trained that refills for soda for soft drinks should be free that i would be irate if i like because when i go to like if i'm going to a steakhouse or something i might drink seven diet cokes they give you those tiny little glasses with so much ice in it that you're like two sips and it's like oh well that's half of this one gone i better just finish it and let them reload me next time they get here and then you do that a few times i'd be you know four bucks a pop are you fucking kidding me fuck you this is communism this is i guess it's pure capitalism but it's you know i don't like it and things i don't like are communist so i would not i think so i i would imagine that their cost per ounce of soda is like zero, like, like,

like almost. Yeah. It's borderline free. So the idea it's, it's almost like a wink at another, Hey, we're charging you too much for this shitty food, but don't worry.

We got your back with the sugar water. Thank you. I appreciate that. The cost of the drinks. Like, so let's all agree that the seltzer water and sugar syrup is not very much. But what does it cost to keep those machines cleaned and maintained?

And I don't know what else there is involved. Do you think they clean those machines? That's rare. I thought they might. McDonald's ones, they keep them pretty clean. I've heard horror stories about the ice machines. Yeah, I have heard about ice i never

even considered that the ice might not be so clean but i'll i just scoop a bucket in a hotel like it's like no one peed in there yeah like no one like no one vomited in there three weeks ago as a prank or some some nonsense jesus i never get ice anywhere bro like if you think about gross stuff in ice or like if you're someone who always thinks your food is being fucked with like you're just not going to be happy you can't you can't dwell on things like that i like all of us have eaten food that's been fucked with at one point or another i know more than everybody else but i eat ass you think i care if you spit my soda? Get the fuck out of here. What if she had E. coli?

She definitely had E. coli. Where do you think I'm getting the food poisoning from, Taylor? I care all my meals. I got E. coli from the lettuce at Chipotle. I was wiping my girlfriend's ass with it in the bedroom. If you eat ass, E. coli is just flavoring at that point.

What you're spitting in my food is my kink. That's why I treat him that way. I'm always worried I'm going to catch some strain. Whenever I've been at a table and Woody orders, I'm like, I hope they don't get my drink mixed up with his. Yeah. If Woody orders a Sprite, you better believe i'm getting a coca-cola or something dark there's no there's no way i'm getting something similar yeah i never send

anything back to the kitchen just for that reason yeah i'll send it back if it's if it's fucked up i'll send it it's gonna be really bad for me to the same it's got to be really bad i can't recall sending anything back maybe if it's not what i ordered oh yeah if it's like i order a cheeseburger and they bring out pasta you know i've never sent anything back either i i guess i guess what i meant was i would send something back if there was something wrong but i i don't remember ever sending anything back i can't remember the last time i did it may be been like once i don't want to fix it up Like oh this steak's not cooked enough I don't want them to like give it another Round on the stove

That's not the same as cooking it right the first time I'll just take what I got So here's what people do If they're like shit's cold Or it's wrong or whatever To make sure they get a new one They salt the fuck out of it They salt the fuck out of it

Mix it up like hey this is all wrong go fix it and they bring it back and salt it again and you're like aha see I played a little joke on you bitch I salted you tricked me now go back in there behind closed doors and make my meal over again Kyle's gonna get my kink satisfied well

the joke's on you my time is worthless so I've created a Rube Goldberg trap for you to fall into. About the stultiness of my steak. Now go back there and don't rub your pussy on it. Did you see that? I used to go to... I'm sorry, Kyle. I'll give you the phone in a second. I used to eat with my coworkers all the time.

And when we had leftover bread, I had one who would stick green beans in the bread just to make like, so that if they served it to the next table, they'd get busted. Oh. What a terrorist. Yeah.

Genius. There's a hidden, not hidden, I guess, but like there's cameras behind the counter. And this lady takes the hot dog wiener. She hikes her skirt up, puts her leg on the counter, fucks herself with somebody's hot dog wiener, and then puts it on the bun and serves it to them.

And it's on camera. And there's no way they got to that wiener before it was eaten. No, they're kidding. That's vile. That's vile. That's vile. As bad as it is for the guy who has to eat the fishy wiener, she just, like, her pussy's now got, like, hot dog residue in there. That can't be good for her.

And the kind of woman who's going to do that, I don't think she's taking, I don't think she's douching. I don't think she's taking care of it the way she should. She's not taking care of that. oscar meyer bacteria into that it's self-cleaning taylor haven't you heard yeah to what extent ever since i thought that ryan reynolds movie where he worked in the kitchen and they would wait waiting yeah yeah that's why and i stopped thinking about sending stuff back to the kitchen like oh hell no that impacted me it was road trip for me there's a scene early on where that uh that geeky guy like

sends his french toast back because there's powdered sugar on it or some shit and the fat cook played by i think horatio sands just runs it through the most disgusting ringer of awful things to do to french toast it's he there's There's powdered sugar on it. He didn't order that. He goes, he picks it up. He goes, eh, eh. Licks all the powdered sugar off real quick. Throws it in the air. Then he reaches behind himself and pulls his waistband out

so it falls down the back of his pants. He leaves it down the ass crack of his pants while he does some other shit. He farts on it. Then he gets it back out, throws it on the plate, takes it out. does some other shit. He farts on it and then he gets it back out, throws it on the plate, takes it out, and the kid's eating. He goes, mmm, yummy.

Note to self. Have you guys ever worked at a restaurant? Anyone? McDonald's, briefly. You worked at McDonald's briefly? Briefly. My first job was at this place called The Keg. And I was like 15, 14, 15.

And I was a dishwasher. So I don't know if that counts as working in a restaurant. Yeah. It was the most back-breaking stuff. Because it's not just washing the dishes, but the cleanup after the restaurant closes. I was like, I realized at that point I was not made for physical labor. You have to clean that up and clean up all the stuff above the fans

and all that stuff. I was a young soccer player. I was in shape and stuff. But the morning after, my back was bugging me. I was like, oh, I'm not. That was a one day. That was a one day. I was done. One day? Yeah, I was a young soccer player. I was in shape and stuff, but the morning after, my back was bugging me. I was like, oh, I'm not. That was a one day. One day? Yeah, I was done. That's as long as I made it to Ben and Jerry's.

I worked at a place called Landers Boardwalk Grill in Ocean City. I started when I was 13. I worked there illegally. You have to be 14 in New Jersey, but I was under the table. My main job was renting out bikes, but I also peeled potatoes and served food to the

customers and stuff. It never even occurred to me to do something unkind to the food. I would just make it the way that I thought was good, and then eventually that evolved to making it the way that my boss thought was good, which I guess is a good evolution. He'd always hate...

I like my toast to be buttered. All of the, like, there shouldn't be dry spots on the toast. It should have a thin layer of butter from edge to edge. And he's like, you're going to give him a heart attack. I don't know if he thought he was making better toast than me, or if he was being cheap with the butter. I still don't

know. But that was the kind of food he, he was unpleasable. You were the toast king i bet everybody when they got your toast they were like oh who's the toe i demand to speak to the toast boy today because he's killing it back you come out you're just covered in butter but it was hard dude i i i must have had like Give me four slices of toast. That's your buttery. I never did anything bad to people, but it was hard, dude.

I must have had 15 gallons of potatoes I'd peel at a time. They were boiled the night before to make it a little easier, but it just took forever. It was so much work. It was so heavy. Can't you just pull it all off in one, if they're boiled and cold?

I used a butter knife and it would come off very easily oh you just scrape it out yeah isn't that like punishment in the military though yeah it was the worst job my boss always screamed at me um if i was even like one minute late he was just brutal the day i quit after two years of being like abused by him and uh i came in two minutes late and he just laid into me so he's like what does your time card say and it was early too it was like it was like 502 a.m and he's like you know what the fuck why are you late i quit i can't say i can't not one more day you're going going to your showering at 440 that morning. Like, yeah, today's the day you put your foot down.

Butter boy. That's awful. No, I'm not the bear. Have you seen that? No. It's a new TV show with the guy from from shameless in it i've seen a couple episodes of shame it depressed me i didn't watch anymore yeah i love shameless the bear is an amazing show but it it's about a restaurant and uh it will trigger you if you've worked in restaurants

like it's but it's an amazing show you have to watch it yeah i've never really worked in a restaurant so i don't know. What are you talking about? You were a scoop specialist for one day. Ben and Jerry's counts, bro. Oh, you're one day or also, right? One day. Why did you only last one day? It's not that I only lasted one day.

I've told this story before, so I'll keep it quick. I was never technically hired. I went into Ben and Jerry's looking for a job over summer when I was like 16 because what I what I did over the summer was coach hockey at a goalie camp and so I was a coach at one of those camps and that only lasted like eight weeks total all the different camps maybe even less six and my dad's like you're not gonna just do six weeks of work this summer you got to like do real job so go get Ben and Jerry's or go get something. So I was like driving around, like looking for a job. It's like 2007,

2006, whatever it was. And I found a Ben and Jerry's went in. This hippie lady was like at the front and I'm like, are you guys hiring? And she was like, yeah. And I'm like,

do you have an application? And she's like, Oh, don't, don't bother yourself with that. Come on back here. I've been invented. There were no customers in there.

A lot. Red flag one. And within 40 seconds of walking into Ben and Jerry's, I'm donning an apron in the back. And this woman is like, how about you just here? You're going to go with Steve here. If I recall, he's kind of an effeminate guy. You're going to make waffle cones with Steve. And so I made waffle cones for like five hours.

Not a lot of customers come in. I botched some waffle cones early, got my technique down later. The problem I had early with making the waffle cones is that the hole at the bottom was too large. There'd be too much drippage. And so I fixed that up a bit, got my technique down. Some customers came in, this girl and her mom, and then the effeminate guy was like, go ahead and serve them up. And so then I went over there and the woman asked for something like Choco Monkey Grape or whatever fucking ridiculous flavor they had. And the way they had it listed is, you know, there's like like six in each giant freezer. There's like 12 flavors and they're stacked like two or three like that in a row and then in a grid and the

the little cheat sheet they had at the top on my end as the scooper the way it should be is the top one should be what is furthest away from me it should be like i should be able to lay that down on top of the ice cream and that's the way it should be organized because i'm not like code name style because like if you're not retarded, it was inverted than that. The ones at the top were the ones closest to me. It just didn't make sense. And so I gave this woman, no one can make heads.

And I, I didn't have the eye expertise yet to differentiate between like a puffy, uh, uh, ape crunch and, uh, you know, the blizzard avalanche,

Rocky road extreme. And so I gave this woman a big serving. I was trying to hook her up. I gave it to her. And then she looked at it kind of displeased. And my manager was like, oh, that's the wrong flavor. And she was like, it's okay. And then the guy looked at me.

It was like, first day. And it was like, I haven't even been hired yet. I'm just working in no no then i went in the back afterward they were closing they were close no i didn't get anything they were closing and then i went in the back and the like the woman was like all right we're gonna give you a call and let you know when you start and i like went home told my dad like i'm gonna be working at ben and jerry's he's like good for you son good for you son you know you know you have a real job one day boy it's gonna be Ben Jerry and

it's gonna be Ben and Taylor's you're gonna beat that freeloader Jerry out get rid of that fucker and so then like I waited weeks weeks and never heard from them until i you know just lady didn't answer my calls went back they had closed and i realized they had just lied to me and just like gotten a free day of work because you're not just like suddenly closed down by ben and jerry corporate that afternoon they know it's coming they took into they took advantage of me they i was basically a slave for one day because I got no ice cream, I got no money, and I got no references. Wow. You need to go to

Ben & Jerry's and demand reparations. Dude, Ben & Jerry's, all their progressive nonsense online. And meanwhile, they enslaved me. They enslaved me for one day, and I'm not cool with it. So, Ben, Jerry, if you're out there, I don't want to hear a lick about your fucking progressive ice cream until I am paid for my day.

He's got an underground railroad that goes to Baskin Robbins. I'm going to freedom. Fight the power, brother. Fight the power. I'm going to freedom. Fight the power, brother. Fight the power. I need to do that. I need to get some of my followers on Twitter to help me harass the Ben and Jerry's corporate account for back payment with inflation taken into account from my day of work in 2006.

Not to mention interest on it and ice cream. That's like $2 million right now, bro. Go for it. It is. Yeah, that may have only been five hours of work in 2006 but that's that's 12 hours of work now you know are you sure pain and suffering exactly emotional trauma yep are you sure that she didn't you know just decide that you weren't ben and jerry's material i if i would have gone back and seen them doing their thing then maybe that would be the assumption I'd take away. But the fact that they were,

they had a going out of business sign, like closing sale shit. It's like, okay, well, does that sign there when you worked? Like maybe you should have put, no,

no, I would have put that. I would have put those pieces. I was a retarded 16 year old, but I would have put those pieces together. Like, yeah. So all I did that summer was coach hockey because Ben and Jerry strung me along. Coaching swimming was one of my favorite jobs ever.

You enjoyed it? Yeah, I enjoyed it. For the first year, they said I was a coach, but the kids were so young. I was basically a swimming instructor. And the next year, they were a little older, so it was more coaching. Yeah kids were so young i was basically a swimming instructor and the next year they were a little older so it was more coaching yeah i like i know how that was like i liked the older kids as a hockey coach too because it was more about like i could actually shoot on them and stuff a little bit more if they were like six-year-olds though i almost wanted to

go to the parents it's a goalie camp and so like I'm not going to rip it at a six year old but I also wanted to be like I'd like I'd look at the kids and like I played goalie and so I'd like I knew how much the pads cost and everything and I'd see like a six seven year old kid and I'd be like that kid's got way nicer pads

than me like that kid's got a brand new Vaughn pads and he's probably grew an inch since he got here this morning he's like like you got to be can you buy talent as a goalie like like surely you can but the question is how much right like improving your pads might make you one percent better but that won't get you very far yeah it wouldn't i mean you you want it wouldn't make that much of a difference like the only difference would be... They don't make it. Equipment can matter. In paintball, much more than hockey.

No. At the time, they were making the switch from the older style pads to the newer, sleeker, lighter ones. And so I still had the older style that would soak up water and get heavier throughout the game, and that sucked. And I'd see the new svelte ones and get jealous. But yeah, you're not going to... I knew plenty of goalies who had

much nicer pads than me, but they had no reaction time or hand-eye coordination. You need that. Certainly, talent is the most important thing. I think I just heard Wolf say that in paintball, the equipment doesn't matter. I don't think it matters in any sport.

Oh, you're so wrong. Okay, hold on, hold on. Unless it comes to car racing or something like that. I think there's a bare minimum in paintball, though. You don't want shake-and-shoot tipmans. You want an electric hopper. You want a laser eye anti-chop. I'm with Kyle.

I used my gun. It was an axe, if people know him at all and i thought it was perfectly fine and then kyle had something that i guess was much better it was purple and silver and it looked dope but it didn't make me better because we had gotten to that level where the gun was good um on the other hand i used taylor's gun this tipman that was like shake and shoot and not only that but the rounds didn't go straight. By didn't go straight, they would literally curve in midair.

How can you hit anything? When someone says you can't shoot straight, usually that means you aim poorly. If I give you a Glock and it doesn't shoot straight, that means you suck at shooting, typically. It shoots straight. You don't.

But with a Tippmann, no, honest to goodness, it'll throw curveballs. And good luck hitting anything with curveballs. It's like anything else, right? If you take two guys with the same skill set, then a better marker would make a huge difference. But if I go and rent A marker Like a tipman with a whole bunch of renters type of thing

I'm going to play better than the guys With the other, you know what I'm saying And you might play better than me because the skill difference is big enough Yeah, that's what I'm saying But if you're just a little bit better than me And my equipment's a lot better than yours I might have a better day It might even it out a little bit But yeah little bit. But yeah, it's, it's, it's so I've seen

kids go and bite. I love it. I'm with Kyle. Cause when Taylor was Taylor and a T-Mart were fussing that their equipment wasn't good. And since I was doing fine, I thought that must meant I'm quite talented. And then I tried their gear and that's not what that meant at all. I don't think that it matters. right when you go from woody's 500 axe to like uh 1200 geo or whatever the the hot shit is now then like that it's not a huge like this that you pick it up first of all you're like oh my god all right an artisan designed this and then a craftsman made it so fucking light that it's like something off a

fighter jet or something when you hold the $1,200 one. And the $500 one's more of a chunkier piece of aluminum. Maybe the electronics aren't quite as good and everything. And it's a little heavier. Like noticeably heavier. But they'll still fucking shoot a fucking rope. But he's talking about those

shake and shoot Tippmann 98s. The shoot curveballs. That's like being a wooden bat. That's the wooden bat in the aluminum bat league type difference. Even that would be fair as long as everybody has the same gun. Everybody's got Tippmann.

If you give us all pistols, then it'll be good. And a gun that shoots straight with enough talent can go well. Like some people enjoy sniping and I'm just like, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So some people, I don't even know if there is a bolt action in paintball, but there is, there is an airsoft. Yeah. And, uh, you know,

a, a really talented guy with a knack for doing this right with a bolt action sniper can be effective. Very deadly. But at the same time, it's so many many times I've seen kids going with their rich dads and buy the most expensive markers, and they can't do crap with it. They'll hide in the back and be afraid of what's coming at them. That's a valid play style, Wolf.

I'm like, they talking about this is like making me remember arkham in the air i'm remembering the time i'm remembering the times i was like jealous of other kids equipment in the context of hockey now especially like like the the way you'd try out for teams as a goalie like usually there'd be a big goalie tryout prior like because they didn't want to just bring a bunch of goalies into the regular tryout and so before they oftentimes before the real tryout for the team they would try out goalies so that they could have like that those final guys be in the real one competing against the people you know and i remember going and seeing like that guy's pads are so nice that and the way i took solace in it was like look at that guy's pads are so nice that guy and the way i took solace and it was like

look at that guy's pads they're so those are so much nicer than mine but there's no black marks on them there's no marks all over that guy's pads he must he must suck then you get out there with him and it's like nah he's pretty good like that wasn't clearly just he he's going to have a bunch of black marks in no time. He's a good goalie. He might be better than me. He has multiple pairs of pants. That guy has multiple pairs of pants. That's what's happening here. Oh, no.

I never really experienced doing a thing growing up where I didn't have the right shit. But I still have instilled in me this sort of fear of showing up with the wrong shit. We were talking about those high school nightmares earlier in the week maybe yeah and how you have that one about being in a class you know it's time for the midterm yeah it's midterms but you've never been in this class before today that type of shit unpreparedness type shit and like i don't know the idea of showing up with the wrong baseball bat or the wrong glove or not having the right fucking cleats or having like the off-brand fucking baseball pants or some shit like that like like that would never even occur to us like i don't know i just got that shit taken care of i guess no matter what um and i don't know how to play like my fear was like what if uh

my nightmare is that the ball comes in my general direction oh a less nesman moment oh i loved it like a lot of kids a lot of the kids were i wanted to play infield but but it i ended up either pitching or in the outfield but um everybody was always afraid to eat up those like hot ground. Kids want to freeze and stand and let it come to them. And I'm fucking, my dad was like, attack the ball, attack the ball. He'd be over there hitting that shit so hard at me. I'd be fucking 11 years old. And it's coming.

The first time it hits the dirt, the dust is flying everywhere. And now there's a cloud and it's just, attack the ball, attack the ball. All day, attack the ball. I remember the way too hard backyard passes from dad sometimes we get to tryouts and and the when the coach would like hit him forever every kid would go out and field those ground balls and now the coach is hitting him at you and he's hitting him like a puss it's like dude i'll but i'll catch your ball my goddamn teeth coach like i'm now i'm the question yeah so in the your dad hits the ball in the infield at the dirt you know the dust hits the air can you predict what the ball is going to do as it comes to you like in tennis you can in tennis you watch enough balls bounce and it's a

very predictable thing you know what to expect you can even see the spin um in football you kind of can't i don't know if great players can but that football is going to hit the ground and do something you didn't know was coming where's baseball fit in is the ground that good that's what i was gonna say i bet on a major league field or any kind of nice field it's it's more predictable because the grass is so pristine and the dirt is so pristine but on our little league fields and high school fields like i don't know you catch some weird kickups and stuff. It'd go,

you have a good idea. And you 90% of the time, higher than that, 98% of the time, you know about where it's going and you're either going to glove it or you're going to make a, it's going to hit your body and you're going to scoop it up and like make the play.

And if it, when it hits you, it doesn't hurt. You think it's going to hurt, but your adrenaline is going, it doesn't fucking hurt. It's 20% of the time it kicks up and hits you in the fucking mouth. And you have to be prepared to eat that motherfucker

if you're going to play aggressively. That's what hockey's like. If I see this lap shop coming and I stand in front of it, I know that like 95% of the time, it's going to miss me, hit something that's padded because i'm aiming my pads at it or hit my stick because i'm trying to make that happen and then two percent of the time is gonna catch me just right yeah yeah but it's like when i played soccer it's interesting because you got like guys who could literally bend the ball when it's going into net and stuff like that and be very unpredictable like if they've got like a a free shot and you know you're lining up in front of

them and everyone's you know had got their hands in front of their crotches in case they get hit like there's guys who could like bend it around you and manipulate the soccer ball right so it it it's weird sometimes were you a goalie in soccer? No, I was a forward. I was a forward. And I was, no, sorry, my bad. I was more of a mid-center in soccer because I was good at running back and forth for defense. But in hockey, I was a right wing.

Have you ever put on a pedometer for a game? Because I'd be curious how many steps, like you take in a soccer game. I didn't have it back in those days, but I can tell you that soccer you have to be. That's the most healthy player there is that exists. I think it's it's a it's a really interesting skill set that's required for soccer. Like, first of all, I have respect for it, but no enthusiasm for it as a sport. I can't I can't get into it for whatever reason. It's my Americanisms. Yeah, I have respect for it, but no enthusiasm for it as a sport. I can't get into it for whatever reason.

It's my Americanisms. Cut it. Yeah, I just can't, whatever. But I have so much respect because I've watched the World Cup would happen and all my European friends would drag me to that shit. It's like, they're still running? I'm drunk already, and they're still running. We've been at this bar for so long and they are still running

that same guy he's been running all day i'm tired from the beer and he's still and it's not like like a like a track and field event where maybe you get in that groove and you just shit yourself if you have to you just keep it moving yeah it's it's it's wind they're so sharp with it and it's it's the wind sprints and then a jog and then the crazy footwork and then in the middle of that maybe you take the one shot of the whole fucking game because sometimes it ends nil nil somehow and and like it's it's all this all or nothing right now right now right now and you've been running for an hour and you gotta pull that hour and a half bro it's outrageous the conditioning soccer players i played Now, I didn't ever play good, and I never played competitively, really. But I played when I was in shape, right?

I'm like a swimmer in between college and high school in the offseason or something. And I'm training. I'm in shape. And I played soccer. And there is no hiding your cardio there. In ice hockey, take a couple hard strokes and then slide for a bit you can just coast you'll get to the other side maybe you're not you're a little late to arrive but you might be in the minors next game but you can at least play and if it's beer league that's fine

half the people are doing that yeah in soccer if you don't work hard you don't even get there you're just on the wrong side it's's very obvious. Basketball, too. It's like, oh, so you did track in high school, but now you want to make money. Okay. Soccer's perfect for you. That's great. Do you enjoy 1-0 games? Do you love ties? I've got something that's going to

tickle you. I wonder if soccer should do something to increase scoring. You know what it is we all know it's perfect the way it is it would just it would just be make it would just be indoor soccer just smaller field i like i like out i like the idea of the stadium i what's what's what i do here's the things i love about soccer my god that the stadiums are full of people it's insane the enthusiasm you have is incredible it blows the nfl and No American sport has that kind of enthusiasm because it's about high highs and low lows

as I always say. Nobody has lower lows than soccer. People get killed. Literally get killed. Refs get murdered on the field. There have been decapitations in soccer stadiums. Columbia players returning home after losing. It's wild

shit. The field needs to be a little bit smaller. It's wild shit. But the field needs to be a little bit smaller, a little bit shorter. It does. And the goals need to be just a little bit bigger. And that would fix so much. That would fix so much. I agree. There's too much of that running.

Even as a non-soccer fan, I am blown away by the things they do to deke each other you know like if one guy comes at the other and he does this like he runs with his foot in front of the ball and kicks it with his back foot to himself or something that blows i can hardly understand what happened and i'm just watching it in slow-mo and uh that would happen more on a smaller field what i'm not particularly impressed with is really long passes or just people who turn on the jets and run for a long time. I know that it's impressive. It just doesn't look as good as the Deeks.

So shrink it and make the talent that I appreciate more important. Another sport I hate but has great things, NBA. The things that the NBA has has that that that it could that soccer could take from it is that thing you just talked about where you like juke and deke somebody out like when you when you see someone do that in the nba it's like oh my god because everybody's a superstar now so it's like joe got fucking got his ankles broken by rakim can you believe it and then it's a fucking highlight reel i would like to see more of that in soccer like you said and i don't know i i wish there was i just wish there was more

scoring that's like how however you accomplish that if it leave the field alone if you want to but figure out a way to get some more points on the board but the thing is with soccer is that or football i should say is that that's why you appreciate getting a goal when they get the goal. That's why they do the little dances and stuff, because it's that hard to do it, right? And it's like you'll look at reels by Ronaldinho from Brazil. He's this Brazilian player. He's got the ponytail and the weird teeth and everything,

and he'll dance around the player. Yeah, like magnificent moves. But I don't know. Maybe it's one of those sports where you have to play to appreciate what it is. But for some reason, when it comes to Americans in sports, they have very little patience. And I remember when hockey was first really introduced to the States. And especially on TV when NHL went introduced to the States and especially on TV when NHL went down to the States and they had to put the little lasers behind the

puck for Americans to keep up with the game at first. You know what I mean? And it was a weird, and I mean, Canadians are laughing at it, but I remember that. And you're right, but I don't think HDTV was a thing at the time.

I was going to say that same thing. I remember specifically being in my room as a kid on my little ass standard def TV, like one of those that had the VCR combo probably. And Fox NHL had that sort of yellow outline around the puck. And it was like, yeah, you still could barely see what was going on. And I was like, what the fuck is even happening? You couldn't see it. Now on a big HDTV, you can see everything. They should bring this back.

And I think I might get Wolf to agree with me. It sounds hard. But in this situation where the puck is against the boards and there's maybe two people fighting for it. Yep. And the puck isn't even visible, right? The camera is above the crowd or something. You can't see it.

Make it glow. Glow or just a little white like outline, sort of reverse shadow, if that makes sense. Show me where the puck is. Exactly. And it would help me enjoy the game. See, it's weird though because, I mean, hockey is a religion in Canada, right?

So we're so used to it. We never needed that enhancement. So, yeah, that's kind of weird. We should wait a bit. No, right? So we're so used to it. We never needed that enhancement. So yeah, that's kind of weird. We should wait a bit. No, no, this is better. I don't agree with this. I like technology in the puck and I don't want graphics or overlays.

I want the puck to glow. When they hit it, I want it to literally glow and be able... Imagine this. If they hit it hard enough, it goes red. Like a light tap, it's like blue and maybe a little harder, yellow. I want accelerometer

in that bitch too. I want a stat on the board. Oh, that slap shot was 112 miles per hour. So what you want is Wii Golf. I want data. My mind is open. There'd be some work to convince me that black against the white ice isn't the perfect contrast

already like to change it to yellow or red based on how fast it's going i'm like i don't want a yellow puck on white ice it'd have to be glowing at that point you'd have to what if it was translucent fully translucent but on the inside was an incredibly bright light and so it meant that it was just this fucking little like how would it change the game if the puck was just transparent, see-through, if it was glass in the first place? Oh, Skip. Where'd it go? Transparent ice.

Yeah, that would be half the sport is just trying to find the bloody puck. Right. I do like data, though. I like what baseball's been doing, adding just more and more numbers. You get the rotation of the ball and not just the pitch speed, but the bat speed and the speed of the ball coming off the bat. And now we get these exact to the foot measurements because they got a fucking laser beam.

And look, I'm a Babe Ruth absolutist. But my God, at this point, we've got to admit that that man could not even cut it in today's game. Do you know how big that cocksucker the Dodgers signed is, that Hotani guy? No. He's like 6'5 Japanese. He throws 101 miles. The player.

He throws 101 miles per hour, and he bats like 330 or some shit. I always thought being tall was a negative in baseball because it made it easier to strike you out, but I guess I don't know anything about it. It's a bigger strike zone because it's from the bottom of the letters to the top of your knees, but also being 6'5 means you're a super athlete. Outfielding would be crazy, right? You're just a super athlete.

I was surprised tennis players' height isn't more important than it is you're you know or a super outfielding it would be crazy just a super athlete you know i was surprised tennis players height isn't more important than it is because the reach is very important wingspan is important getting a better serve is a little easier if you're a few inches higher um but top tennis players don't tend to be six six all the time i think because of the tennis yeah i was gonna say agility like there is a crit like if you watch nba highlights like once you get to a certain height like agility is not your strong suit like some six foot ten guy is gonna suck dick at tennis because he's gonna be lumbering back and forth and some andreagasi guy is gonna just tire him out and just be more agile quick on his feet low

center of gravity tennis is exhausting tennis is another sport that you watch and you're like i could do that and i have a different theory yeah i have a different theory i might be wrong i think that the agility can be somewhat made up for with length right if i don't have to move and you do i can overcome some agility disadvantage because i reached seven feet every time I moved my arm from side to side before I even moved my feet. I think a lot of what makes a successful tennis player is parents with money, growing up with coaches, growing up with court time, growing up with that quality equipment. That can help, but it's not just about length in tennis. You can have someone who's 10 feet tall who's just reaching his arm over here

like the agility is important because you need to get into position and get set in order to properly hit it back like you can't just reach over and do it like you need to be quick where it's like when it arrives there you're not just there you're there with your left foot forward your right foot back your weight distributed correctly so you can hit it overhand. That's especially true. Ping pong, I'd argue you're a little less right because you don't need to have great body position to return it and get it right. That's true. I bet being tall

in ping pong could help. But in volleyball, being tall, it helps. Sure. Those women volleyball players and the spiking and they're all tall, tall women right and it's like they're outstanding players you're muted crazy with it uh taylor we talked about hockey while you were gone oh no we had a whole conversation i was gonna bring up to wolf

i was like oh man he played right wing w cool position. Yeah, that would have been a good opportunity. Forward is a cool position. Too bad. Did you ever score a game-winning goal? No. No. I wish. I've scored. I had a hat trick at one game, but not a game-winning.

You got to play at a lower level. I've scored a bunch of game-winning goals. They're like, for the last time, this is a learn to skate, sir. Stop hitting people. No, I was like, didn't learn was MVP of my B-League one time. They had this thing where the other team would vote on who your team's MVP was, and I got the most in the league one time. That's awesome.

I wasn't good, but North Carolina B-League is not the peak of hockey. Did you have dangles wolf you get out on a breakaway did you have a little toe drag I had some cool moves but I played bro I played in the 80s though they were not like today's cool moves where you're doing pancake

flipping and all that stuff right you're a wooden stick deacon bro I had a let me put it this way. I had a, like, let me put it this way. When I was a kid, we played hockey outside literally every day after school. Snow, winter,

you know what I mean? And I remember one time my stick broke because I had an insane slap shot and I had a stick signed by Bobby Orr and I went and got that and started playing with that, and I played with it until it was destroyed. Oh, that's pretty cool.

You shouldn't have done that. Yeah, I know, but when you're a kid, you don't think about these things, right? It's like you want to play, and they're like, Andre, we need you. We need you. You can't leave. I go get my other stick.

All right, let's go. Game on. You know what I mean? It's like that's how much we loved it back in the day. I wish I had more signed sticks. Was the stick appropriate for you at all? I guess it's wooden. Maybe it doesn't matter. I played with Sean Hill's

stick. Sean Hill is so much stronger than me. That thing had no flex in it. I like a flexy stick, or at least I do. And this thing was built for a guy who had fucking great technique and muscles and it could have been made of steel for all i knew didn't i have a signed ray bork stick oh yeah yeah i don't remember how i got that i think my dad golfed

with him once or something i had a signed gretzky puck what that's sick gretzky doesn't sign a lot i don't know what happened to it i don't know what happened to it it's one of those things right yeah i i've told them i've got this signed photo of like the cast of the next generation crew and nice and i'm looking at it right now and i can see lavar burton over there i just saw a video lavar today he was doing that thing where they do your genealogy and they find out. He was so disappointed that his great-grandfather was white. It hurt my feelings. Really?

Yeah, he was upset. He was upset. Now I'm looking at him over there with Whoopi Goldberg's hand on his shoulder, and I'm looking at her, and I notice she ain't smiling. Everybody else is. It's kind of like the two of them over there are like, I don't even want to be here that's kunta kente bro white people i know that's kunta kente and it's great i don't know if you guys know who that is but for him i'm too uh i'm too young for that whoa whoa whoa y'all haven't seen root for it who's kunta kente

oh my goodness gracious how are are you going to be an ally and you haven't seen Roots? I know the line. Wait, is that... No, your name is Toby? Is that from Roots? That's why I named my dog Toby, by the way. No way!

I say it all the time. I go, your name is Toby. That's hilarious. Yeah, it is, boss. That show traumatized me when I was a kid because he kept getting beat because he wouldn't say the slave owner's name, and then

he kept escaping so much they cut his feet off in the show. And this was like 80s TV type of thing. That was traumatizing to see. I was like, oh my gosh. That's crazy. Did Canada have slavery? A little bit.

Not as much as it ended a lot earlier before this date. I can't remember the year. You can't ask a Canadian about that. Let's do our own research, Woody. A little, but we were really cool about it. That's why the Underground Railroad went up to Canada

because that's where you escaped to. I typed in, did Canada have? And Google took care of the rest. I'm just saying. No, the answer is not really. No, like 4,000 people. I mean, it's not like we didn't have racism or anything like that,

but it wasn't as insane. Oh, my God. I thought maybe it was telling about Kyle, but I typed it like, did Canada H? And it's like, have slavery. Oh, my God. Poor Canada. They had slaves, and they haven't won a Stanley Cup since 93, 92.

It's rough. I stopped watching around then anyways. Toronto Maple laughs or we're just too depressing. My prediction this year, one of my predictions for the year was that the Toronto Maple Leafs are going to win the Stanley Cup. They were

never going to win. This season they are. This season they're going to make the playoffs. They're never going to win when they're killing it all season and they show up in the postseason confident and cocky they're gonna win when they're like third fourth in the division and they sneak in and expectations are low and they don't have like the media hounding them like that toronto hockey media is brutal it's like they don't give up it's not nearly as big but it's the equivalent of like a big football market in america you can be

the worst player in the in in the nhl and play in miami and then just go about your day if you suck in toronto people are like coming to your house like hey bud it's about time you go play somewhere else hey that accent is perfect you notice uh i noticed you uh you didn't cover your d-man as he tried to enter the zone last game versus Calgary. Yeah. Just enter the zone the same way this brick's about to enter your fucking lounge. Well, first of all, we're not that violent up here.

No. It's also because the ticket prices are so damn expensive. That's true. You don't want to waste your money going there. You know what I mean? That's why Toronto fans, every Detroit Red Wings game and a lot of Buffalo Sabres games have shit tons of Toronto fans there because it's cheaper to leave Canada, get a hotel in Buffalo or Detroit,

watch the Leafs play there, and then go home than it is to go to one game in Toronto. Toronto must be like, is it the Lakers in the NBA that are known for not having a great crowd because it's so full of really rich people? Corporate. It's all corporate. Yeah, it's all corporate. It's like that, the equivalent of that.

Yeah, it is. It's big city stuff, right? It's like that in LA. It's like that in New York. UNC, the college basketball team, is known for having this wine and cheese crowd. That's this classy sort of reserve. Yeah.

And one time, I think it was a really bad snowstorm, so people couldn't come to the game, but the students could. They lived on campus, and it was the best crowd ever. So the coach created a student. He's like, we're going to have a rowdy section here.

Cause it makes the players play better. And the wine and cheeses will have to sit somewhere else. If the stadium takes money from the city or the state or whatever, the city or the state or whatever should have a say in, in ticket prices and certain sections. He said, okay, well we'll give you $3 billion for this giant stadium,

but there's no need for all of these tickets to be over $1,000 fucking dollars. We're going to have some cheap seats right here. Well, no, there's a good seat. Are you talking college or NBA? I'm talking about professional sports in general. If the community pays for the stadium, God, Kyle, that's a great idea.

Yeah, it makes no sense for you to like give them all that money and then have them rape your the people who gave them the money so that none of that citizenry can even go you know even the roman coliseum like you know every peasant could fucking roll up in there and get some good seats it should be at the level that the owner has a decision to make like i could fund this myself and then rate for tickets or i could get the city to help me. But then, you know, I know I'm going to give up some ticket revenue.

Where do I want to land? Like you're going to rate for tickets 100% of the time. And the beautiful thing is that nobody will pay for those expensive tickets. If they have to sit within smelling distance of somebody who spent $15 for theirs, I wouldn't, you tell me I'm going to, there's no way I'm gonna spend fifteen hundred

two thousand dollars on a ticket for this big game if i gotta sit within smell distance of a fifteen dollar fan who's drunk and disorderly behind me no fucking way like it would there would be a domino effect quick neighborhood and lower ticket prices everywhere subject matter when it comes to that should Should, and I have this debate all the time with people. Should NCAA college athletes when you get to the higher rung

teams, should they be making money? Yes. They do now. 100%. They do now, but they always should have. Because they've been making video games off their asses for like 20 years now. You're talking about the players or the teams? I'm talking about the players.

Yeah, the players should make money, 100%. Yeah, it's because I've had this argument with others. Oh, no, they get free tuition and stuff. And I've gone through those. But you guys are kind of smart, so you get it. I didn't used to be smart. I used to think that they should play for free for the education, et cetera.

They're kind of being trained for the next part of their career. And then they made the role change. I'm like, actually, I think this is better. I just had to stay in action. They've always like, it's not fair for EA to make football games or whatever the fuck.

They haven't used the names of, but they did for years before that. Since they haven't used the names of but they did for years before that since they haven't since 2014 this is actually kind of like breaking news because they will this year for the first time since 2014 oh the first time mizzou is good perfect sport yeah uh football ncaa football to 2024 is coming i'm looking at the article now um how player likeness is going to work in the games a major talking point in the community as it is ultimately what shut down the game after NCAA football 2014. Instead of using randomized likenesses to combine with numbers and jerseys, EA Sports has partnered with one team partners to allow players to sign an agreement

that gives their permission to use their likeness and everything. So, yeah, they're going to get paid. Look, every college player is going to want to be in the video game. I know this. With the UFC, it's a big deal. People will be like, yo, why am I not in the fucking game, baby? Come on. Get me

in the game, Dana. They'll be asking for that like nothing else because they play the game. It'd be so cool to be in a game that mattered. That would be cool. The guys who are already going to get paid that NIL money are going to just get more heaped on top. But even if you're

the third string kicker from a dark water town, you're going to be like, yes, use my likeness. I'll take the $5, please. Hand me in. Immortalize me in digital form digital form you should get paid how many points your character gets i'm actually a playable character in a video game which is kind

of cool what is it yeah uh fields of battle 2 for uh the mobile uh version right now and it's coming out on xbox and playstation 2 and it's a paintball video game as you could tell but if you uh you know if if you it's it's a free game uh i think if you subscribe you can play as wolf and it's got my whole loadout on there and everything and uh for the um upcoming uh console and pc version i'm i'm going up to seattle to do voice work and everything like that. That's awesome. Have you ever done voice work before? Not as myself. I've done it on

animation stuff for college projects and stuff like that. It's kind of cool to... They sent me the game and sent my unlock. You see me turning. Holy crap. Yeah, there you go. It had my original loadout and everything and it's my marker and all that stuff it was kind of cool have you

looked at your stats in game no they don't have stats for you okay that's right yeah that's you're not like what i'll master the bet but yeah i just i just remember when they were making my character and they did the 360 turn. Could I have my butt a little bigger, please? I got more booty than that. Beef up those arms a tad. Yeah, I know we're on the phone, but just take my... I'm flexing right now.

I know what you have on there. Give me tree trunk arms. They should have had an FPS Russia character on Call of Duty. It's not too late. We are one bit of legislation away.

How so? All they have to do is say that all innocent victims of this evil government, such as Kyle, get their gun rights back and their YouTube channel passwords back. Fight the power, brother. Fight the power.

Yeah. Like, what if that's what Biden got out there and started rambling about one time? He's like, they got people in Georgia, Kyle Myers can't even log into YouTube because of these weed logs that are keeping him from doing his job. He's got my vote.

That's how he could earn my non-vote, you know, because I'm not allowed to vote. Dude, I'd throw one for Biden for you if he brought you up. 100%. I would vote with my dead great-grandmother's ID or something like that i don't think they check that sort of thing no i get a voting are you are you is there a time limit

that you can't vote or is it forever now it's forever i you know there's there's expungements and like appeals processes but yeah yeah i haven't looked i haven't really done anything like that i'm i'm sure i will at some point can you cross the border and come up here? Not to Canada, no. Y'all are weird about that. I think there's an appeal process for that as well, where you have... You can have people write letters on your behalf

and stuff like that. Mexico lets you write it. Marijuana! There's a felon here watch out everybody put your hands where we can see them gringo he got caught with marijuana everybody look out like are you the guy with the youtube but i am not japan i know japan's super strict about that shit um there's a few countries that australia don't give a damn because they're like a prison colony to begin with how about russia but russia doesn't care you know i i i think it's best that i avoid russia not not only because

of like what what bit of fame i've accrued but also because of some of the statements i've made in the past about them and their people you know i go a little hard in the paint sometimes that more hard than i should be you don't actually just like comrades you know you know i got stolen as my youtube background for a year and a half that should buy me some some some goody commie points where you don't like murder me or anything um that's back when people used Hammer and Sickles online, ironically. Now you see them for real. I'm in fucking business back then. I've always been a true comrade.

But I saw Alabama's killing that guy tonight with nitrogen. Oh, yeah? What guy? So, all right, this guy's been on death row for some time now, probably a decade or doesn't matter. But what he did was another man hired him as a hitman. So he was a killer for hire, along with a second man, who I don't know the second killer's story.

It doesn't matter. But the guy hires, Bob we'll call him, because I don't remember his name. It doesn't fucking matter either. Bob gets hired to kill this guy's wife, kills the wife. The authorities then are closing in on the husband the husband office himself and then someone gives a tip to the authorities go check on this guy bob's house he's got a vcr that we think he took from the murder that's how

long ago this murder was i would imagine that he would steal a VCR from a murder victim and keep it. Well, he did. I guess not. So they traced the VCR back to the murder victim. The jury voted to put this guy to death and now it's time to do it. And they are using this brand new method of execution. It's never been used on humans ever

anywhere before. It is nitrogen asphyxiation. They basically just replace the air in a chamber that you're in with fucking nitrogen. I don't care what anybody says. That's going to be awful. That's going to be awful. Didn't they torture Deadpool like that in the movie?

I don't know what they did to Deadpool. What are they doing in Alabama tonight? Why don't we just fade off to sleep? I bet you're gasping for breath and there's nothing there.

The other thing is, do they do anything before the nitrogen? Is he drugged up in some really happy way? I've had shit prior to surgery that I think I could easily survive asphyxiation happily. I would want them to put, I said this earlier on, on discord.

I was like, I want them to put me to sleep with that dentist laughing gas until I'm completely out. And then lock my head off of an old French guillotine. An old one. They could, they could, an old one. Asphyxiate you with the nitrous oxide too.

Just none of this new age Bullshit I want the the real I think we've gotten entirely too soft With the way we execute people Braveheart Drawn and quartered Public We go this guy this guy killed

Two children he killed a 10 year old And an 8 year old in a park With a with a Shillelagh. A shillelagh. Yeah. He said, I'm going to cause. I just like to see the world burn.

Ivan McDougal, the murderer of Fifth Lane. Ivan. Just a classic Irish name there, Ivan. Half Russian, half Irish. I'm Ivan Korsakov, the most brave heart brave heart via execution they they cut him yeah they dragged him then they

cut him open they castrated him they pulled his guts out disemboweled him then they oh shit that's worse than what i had in mind it's so much worse think about how much fear gets put into the heart of other uh rapists and murderers when we do that at halftime at the Super Bowl. First of all, ratings explode.

Everyone tunes in to see the public execution. Coming up next, the 12 most notorious rapists of 2023. You won't want to miss it. And then they have like 12. Who won't want to miss it. And then they have like 12 different ways. Audience voting. Who's sponsoring the execution? Who's it brought to you by?

Arby's. We have the meat. And then you see a guy just being electrocuted in the chair. It could be your names. Tesla. Tesla sponsors it. They get shot to death. electrocuted in the chair yeah it could be your memes like like tesla other sponsors they get shocked oh yes yeah only green energy use only green energy it's like look you can see the windmill starts spinning when he starts fizzling

no no joke though general electric would sponsor that they'd be like our it's the cleanest electric chair money can buy. I've been watching these YouTube shorts and they go through companies that you think make silly things. Subaru. Subaru, you make cars for lesbians, right? What did you used to do, though?

Oh, well, back in the day, we made little Vespas out of old aircraft parts. Oh, that's neat. And then we made aircraft for folks. Which folks? The Japanese. Wait, did you bomb Pearl Harbor, Subaru?

Subaru's like, did you bomb Pearl Harbor, Subaru? It's a different time. I do not recall. Pearl Harbor Subaru! I do not recall. Subaru has done such a good job of whitewashing that. This is a little embarrassing to say. Only today did I realize that

Subaru was a Japanese company. I thought it was an Australian company because of the Outback. That is embarrassing. Because of the Australian Outback. Because of the Subaru Outback vehicle. Because in the Subaru commercials, hang with me here,

it would be an Australian themed commercial with the Subaru Outback. You'd have a crocodile Dundee motherfucker and he'd be there and there'd be koalas and kangaroos and shit. And for some reason, it stuck in my mind since childhood, that Subaru was an Australian car company. No, Australians don't make anything. I know. No, Australians don't make anything.

I know! They don't make anything. They're a global drain. They don't make anything. That's hilarious. I just thought within the name itself it said Japanese, but I see what you're saying. I know, but... I don't know how...

Literally today, I found out. The weird thing about the death penalty, and I don't want to get all serious and stuff I do I guess we're at the point where it's we can really prove when someone's dead I was just reading a story the other day about this black kid named Willie Francis and he had to be electrocuted

twice because it didn't work the first time yeah and then they find out later that he was innocent of all of it altogether, right? And it's like, hopefully, I don't know if we're at the point today where we can prove stuff 100%, but I guess it was video and all that fun stuff

and DNA, hopefully, yes, but it's like, so many cases, like, how many cases have we heard now of guys getting out of jail after, you know, 20 years and find out they were innocent to begin with? I heard of one this month. There's so many. You do the best you can.

The problem is the criminal justice system isn't made to find truth and right and wrong. It's set up just like every other system is. It's about winning and losing. It's about winners and losers. You don't look at a prosecutor and say did you win you want if you look at a prosecutor you're weighing and measuring if they're any good or not how many of you won how many of you lost not how many were innocent and how many were guilty actually like you can't say ah well i lost three oh that looks bad well they were innocent you lost like your job is to put them away their job is to

defend the guy i don't know the winning and losing aspect that kind of makes the criminal justice system a very scary place to be involved i promise you if you've never never dipped your toe in it's it's terrifying see that's one of the things that depressed me when i was in university i was doing pre-law and it was explained to me in a weird way but but it's like, it just makes you lose. It makes you lose faith in the system that there's two types of justice. There's criminal justice and there's civil justice. Criminal is when you do something against the people of the country.

So it's not, it doesn't matter about the individual because whenever a criminal is brought to court, it's always the people versus John Doe, right? That's why it's about the individual because whenever a criminal is brought to court it's always the people versus john doe right that's why it's about the it's about the society doing wrong it's about hurting doing something wrong society so it's not about the individual that's why people you know if they lose a criminal case they take them to civil court and that's when people get monetary wins as opposed to uh prison right so if you don't get that's why you can get guilty in one and not the other so you can take someone to court civilly and take away all their money and that's how you get justice the burden of proof is also

lower you know you don't have to go beyond a reasonable doubt so that's how you get a situation like oj simpson where well that's actually not how you got it, but, but what happened, we know how you get there, but, but, um, he was found civilly liable, but, but the problem with that is enforcing those payments, especially if someone's in a, in a state like Florida, uh, is very difficult. Um, Florida has, I don't know exactly how the law works, but it's something like you can't through almost any means, take someone's last vehicle, someone's last domicile, someone's last a few different things like, like, like through, through any sort of judgment whatsoever. It's almost like, Hey, don't,

that's all he's, that's his way of getting around. Don't, Oh, that's where he lives. Don't make him homeless. It's sort of that. But then what people like OJ will do is get a really massive home, sink all their value in that, and it can't be touched. Although OJ just seemed to ignore the court for years anyway and be just fine. It seems like he doesn't care. The longer he goes, the more on his side I am. Who's to say? Have you not seen any of the documentaries or television shows yeah i've

watched all of them same as you and i just have a difference of opinion i'm gonna i think i think i don't think he did i don't think he killed that lady and shut up if you uh if you go and watch if you want to see a wonderful mini series i know i've recommended before but but for everybody needs to hear it every time i say it the the i it's called The People vs. O.J. It's the one with Cuba Gooding Jr. playing O.J. from Snow Dogs. The man won an Oscar.

Radio. He played a retarded guy. He also was in Men of Honor with Robert De Niro. Very good movie. Carl Brashear, first black U.S. Navy rescue diver. It's a crazy accomplishment that he made post-World War II. What's the real evidence that OJ did anything wrong?

You know, everything, everything. He had her blood on him, and his blood was found there. And her blood was all over his house, on his belongings. And his truck really yeah and he's like i was too young to follow like literally it's like the only reason the glove didn't fit is he had a like rubber surgical glove on and he's look we can all make a nut glove not fit you yeah open your hand like like you go you go all feminine when you want a glove to really get on you you fucking get dainty with that shit.

He's up there with his big man hand like, nope, won't go on, boss. Dude, even putting on a glove that's not lightly. Yeah, having a rubber glove on can make it hard to put a glove on that's even slightly too big for you. It's grippy. They were fitting gloves. They were fitted ISO, what do you call them? Isotoners? Isotoners?

Yeah. All his shit was nice. Johnny Cochran was a genius for that, bro. His alibi was that he was in his front yard golfing for 90 minutes and no one saw him. That's a pretty bad alibi. Taylor, I highly recommend this miniseries. David Schwimmer

from Friends, he plays Kardashian. You may not know this. This is a fun little thing kim kardashian's dad was oj's best friend okay like best those families were intertwined and so they're present in this the it during the whole thing um um and so david swimmer is kim kardashian's dad and he's he plays OJ's best friend and as the thing goes on he's starting to be like

the fuck's going on here wait a minute what the fuck what do you mean they found blood where and like like you see OJ's best friend start come to realize that he killed her and everybody starts to realize

and at the very end OJ's out and he's free and he's and everybody starts to realize and at the very end oj's out and he's free and he's trying to hobnob and like press the flesh because you got to remember this as well not remember but know this about oj huge celebrity bike back then this would be like i don't know like not not who's beloved by all patrick mahomes it'd be like if patrick mah walked into fucking Outback Steakhouse everybody shaking his hand and fucking loving him up but at the end everybody's looking at OJ funny

all the white people especially those were his buddies I don't know if I can be seen with you anymore Mr. James Mr. James it's the huge amount of blood all over your things that's what it's upsetting the customers. You're wearing the gloves, sir.

Imagine Tom Brady, like that level of fame after football started making movies. That's how famous OJ was. Naked Gun Series, he was doing TV commercials. It was those insurance commercials. He was like the Allstate man. He was on

all the fucking time it wasn't Avis? oh no I'm just saying like nobody knows what Avis is I'm saying like today you have the all state man I know that guy when I see him or like JK Simmons with the other insurance place he was like a

household name and a nice guy and he always had this I don't know how to put this but he was not going to stand up for black people ever anytime that there was an issue where you could maybe pull a muhammad ali and be like keep your fucking money whitey no fuck you that's wrong how you're treating my my my black brother oj was gonna oj's what did he say um i'm not black i'm oj that's a direct quote yes that's what jay jay-z even said that in the song that's a good fucking song yeah it was so legit back in those days yeah i can't i listen and then you have the rumors that

chloe kardashian looks like oj too right so i was, that's how it goes. Khloe Kardashian is 100% OJ Simpson's daughter. OJ was boning his best friend's wife. Look, look at that bitch. She looks like she could run for some yardage too. All right? Before the plastic surgery. And the crazy thing is the rest of them, Bruce Jenner is the other super athlete.

Chris Jenner was was hooked up with some of the the most athletic supermen of her of her time i guess um but yeah oj did that shit 100 taylor it it's like not even questionable it's so crazy all right so here's the conspiracy theory that i can buy a little bit never will you convince me that like oh it was just crazed killers in the night you know how it is over in the richest neighborhood in america no i could believe that oj's son had had seen enough had had enough of his dad's name being drugged through the mud had had enough of his mom blowing jewish waiter waiters in his daddy's house and he was gonna put a fucking stop to it

and he went over there and did some shit and oj showed up or maybe he goes back to oj he's like what have i done and what did you do and let and they they stuck everything together with glue and oj paid the lawyers and they kept and he said i'll take the bullet for my son if i have to you'd like to believe that about the juice you'd like to because man he could run we looked it up that we looked at those yards no one realized how many yards per game that man was getting until we fucking looked it up and then i understood a little bit of how he got off too because i mean it's just unfathomable have you seen the family guy episode where they make fun of it where like oj comes on as a character

obviously he's not actually voiced by oj but the whole time is like a redemption arc for him where, you know, Peter's like, oh, wow, I guess he's not so bad or whatever the fuck. And at the very end, like OJ is like talking to the whole town who came to storm the Griffin's house and be like, we want him out of here. And he's like, I've made mistakes. Sure.

Who among us hasn't? But to say I've done that, it's egregious. And everyone's like the almost Simpsons end of the episode where everyone kind of learns something. And then in the last two seconds, there's a blonde woman standing next to him. And he goes, stabs her to death and then runs away. And Peter's like, I guess he did it. That's hilarious. I gotta look that up now.

Family Guy has some snarky quick humor sometimes. There was one recently where this lady's smoking at the bar and the guy comes up and he's like, I'm sorry, ma'am. You can't smoke here. She goes, I'm transgender. And he goes, oh, well then carry on doing whatever you want. Yeah.

Part of OJ's statement was that he didn't have the athletic ability to best a woman in hand-to-hand combat. He said that his knees were too beat up. So the prosecution put on an exercise tape in VHS that he had put out like a month before

the thing of him doing jazzercise. Not only that. That's a terrible defense. That's literally unbelievably bad. It gets worse. You know what else he did? So the jazzercise thing was a little older than a month, maybe a year, but a month before she was

murdered, he was taking part in a knife combat class for a movie. I've never heard that before practice what you preach it was like a knife for a movie bro or something like that you know they thought of him for the terminator he was one of the four or five names yeah and and one of the things they said is like come on he's too likable yeah and he's not he's not as juicy as fucking Arnold. Well, they didn't want Arnold either. Arnold was like a fourth choice, I think.

Interesting. Arnold got it because so Arnold was contacting James Cameron constantly. Hey, I want to talk to you about this thing. Or his people were. What it was was Arnold's people were contacting him. Arnold didn't want it and James didn't want Arnold. But they got kind of forced to a meeting where they both intended to kind of push the other off, but they inadvertently won each other over

in that conversation. But originally, the Terminator, if you think about it, is supposed to look like a regular dude. He's an infiltration model. The idea is the Terminator slips into your group. He's just that dirty guy we found on the road. Yeah, he lost his family to the to the monsters too yeah are you set you up in here buddy here's your bunk showers down the hall and then that night he's just walking bed to bed fucking killing people with his fucking fingers stabbing in the eye but arnold showed up he was supposed to be like the little kid in screamers yes exactly scream, exactly. Screamers, a great movie. Classic.

Yeah. Arnold is the worst undercover guy ever. He's very obvious. He's huge. It was supposed to be Lance Hendrickson for that movie. No idea who that is. Never heard that name in my life. He's a great actor.

He's in tons of action and sci-fi. He even had a TV show on Fox in 1999 called Millennium. He's the... Lance of the Android from Aliens. He's the synthetic from Aliens. Alien, all of them. He came in with James Cameron in one of the pitch meetings

to Fox or somebody like that. He was in Terminator character being fucking weird and nobody knew who he was. He had put aluminum foil on his teeth too inexplicably because nobody knew what the Terminator character being fucking weird and nobody knew who he was. He had put an aluminum foil on his teeth too, inexplicably because nobody knew what the Terminator was going to look like exactly. That was one of the ways they got funny, but they ended up sticking Lance Hendricks

in the movie anyway. He's the detective who's taking Sarah Connor's story and everything down. Never believed her. He got blown away by Arnold. He's got like a sega in one hand and like a g3 g3 and the other just ah it's a great movie um another one that you saw that one didn't you taylor determinator one yes i i saw it many years ago i was not really

paying attention yeah yeah that was a scary movie when this came out because you put yourself in sarah connor's shoes like you you you could not imagine how you would escape that like that was a scary movie back in the day trust me like nowadays it's light work right but when they when arnold doesn't have his eyebrows and when a lot of it some of his hair has been burnt off and he has this slick look or he's just, I don't mean slick like cool, I mean he's just smooth-faced and weird-looking as he's scanning. He really doesn't look like himself

and looks really fucking scary. Yeah. I don't know how we got onto that. I have a different topic. Have you guys heard of Jixxer Bra? Jixxer Bra? Can you say it again? Jixxer Bra. Jixxer Bra? Can you say it again? Jixxer Bra.

So there's a motorcycle called the Suzuki GSXR. Okay. And it's a really fast motorcycle, leader bike, whatever. It used to be the top racing thing. And now it's known for being like the hooligan bike. The people that go 180 miles an hour on the highway often gravitate towards the jixer. And this one guy on YouTube completely owns the persona. He's jixer brah.

And his hobbies are going wildly fast on the highway and running from police. I once saw him make a video of police chasing somebody else. video of police chasing somebody else. So he gets the police's attention and then evades them as if he's doing a public service for letting other hooligans get away with traffic crimes. Anyway, one of the series he makes is he'll like go to Google maps and be like, all right, here's what we're going to do today. We're going to go from here to there. In this case, it was Colorado Springs to Denver, which is on his thing in the video. It said it was a 45 minute drive and he makes it in 20 minutes. He does it by going like up to 150, 180 miles an hour between cars on the interstate, just ripping down the,

and he's been doing this for a while. And I'm like, how does he get away with this? How does he get away with just wild driving? I drive a little while, but I can't hold a candle to this guy. And anyway, the Colorado police looked him up. And now there's warrants out for him, this YouTuber. Menacing. Placed another person in fear of imminent serious bodily injury. Engaged in a speed contest.

Reckless endangerment. Rement, reckless driving, speeding over 40 miles an hour above the speed limit, engaged in an exhibition of speed and having no license plate. These are the things that he's guilty of and they tracked him down. But he did it in Colorado and he's from Texas. I don't know how this works. Can he just never go back to Colorado? Yes. That's a good plan for him because this war is out at this point. Why?

How are they going to catch him? Oh, yes. I would make a YouTube video. I would go to Colorado and make tons of content. As much as I could. Enough for a year. And then I would go back to Texas and keep my ass there. But I'd keep teasing oh i'd be outside the state patrol like well here we are texas again this week

made another trip up here just like change clothes every time i i would i would really fuck with just pretend that you're still i don't know although can they send like bounty bounty hunters or somebody like that to another state like i don't know how that shit works i know i know if you're like a if you're a fugitive from the law that seems like a different thing so can states not transfer prisoners from other states like i can't remember the specific term but when you like go to another country and you capture a guy in a different country and you bring it back to the states extradition you're talking about tradition so when that's going on it's it's like if you've committed a crime spree or a crime you come to crime in georgia and then one in south carolina you'll be already under arrest

in south carolina and george will be like we got dibs after you and they'll transfer you over but it's a little different if you haven't committed any crime in texas you know if he if he'd done a crime in texas and they had him locked up maybe colorado could be like hey we we want him when you're done but the idea of sending texas to go lock him up or invading texas and locking him up there they don't have the they can't do that i know i know you're something i'm stuck on like one of the ways that bonnie and and Clyde avoided getting caught for as long as they did is they would commit crimes in... There's a part of America where there's five different states all

close to each other. They would just stay near the borders. They'd commit some crimes in Nebraska and head over to Kansas. Commit some crimes in Kansas and then drop down to Oklahoma and just start changing states all the time. The police would literally get to the state line, like Dukes of hazards.

You got away. That's a stop. And if you think about it, like, I bet it was as much from like, we're out of our jurisdiction as it was from we're done now. We don't, we don't have to chase them anymore because the people you're chasing are,

are murderers, right? Like, like maybe, maybe on your $10 a week job or whatever they were getting paid month We're done now. We don't have to chase them anymore because the people you're chasing are murderers, right? Maybe on your $10 a week job or whatever they were getting paid, month job, you don't want to run off into Kansas and fight Bonnie and Clyde.

I know that she ran around with a B.A.R. She had a Browning automatic rifle, a fully automatic.30-06 sawed off. If she hits you, you die. If she hits your arm, you lose your arm.

If you hit the bone, you lose that limb. I don't think... For some reason, it baffles me that today we still don't extradite people. Yeah, it's weird. I can see how maybe if it's a traffic crime, then I can see why they wouldn't. But these are some

serious crimes. I'm wanted in two states. Yeah. Because Canada, we extradite people all the time, right? Yeah. That's kind of a third world country these days.

We seize bank accounts if we don't like... There's some countries that won't extradite at all. So you can flee there and then they won't send you back. But they're not G7. They're not G20 countries.

Yeah, they're usually a downgrade, though. It always is, but... Every country is a downgrade, though. It always is, but... Every country is a downgrade from America. Well, okay, don't go crazy. Yes, it's true. Canada's a nice second place. Nothing wrong with silver. Nothing wrong with silver.

Silver? Yeah. But, okay... At what Olympic sport? Well, Canada's the second place. No, he meant second place when the country. Yeah, when you take all the countries into account, I would say Canada's my second favorite.

I used to say you'd name it. The fact that you think they're making it to the podium is ridiculous. Canada's not my second favorite because I'm really sensitive to early sunsets and they're way up north and cold weather. Yeah, but they're friendly. Everybody's into hockey. I could talk to people about hockey in public it'd be like i'm not saying there aren't gay people there's gay people no all the other sports we're having gay sport i'm pretty sure they fuck each other as part of the hazing ritual

i don't think so. Not any of the Nordic football players. We're already trickle-truthing on this. Worth Harley when I eat him. That's how I made my best team. It was the final half. In California, where he chooses to live for a reason. Yeah, because he loves the U.S. of A. I would choose any Nordic country.

I would choose most of the european countries like like france just seems so snooty but i bet if you if you're not in fucking paris you don't speak languages oh how hard could it be like how hard learning norwegian if you live in norway i think i'll pick it up in a year or so. Oh, yeah. When you're out about town in your little Norwegian icy village. A little village. Yeah. Oh, hello. Oh, my God.

You'd live there for 10 years and you'd be like someone who moves here from Honduras and just lives in an alcove where everybody speaks Spanish so you never really learn it. Everyone would talk to you in English because they all speak English. I'd assimilate. Come on. It's a beautiful language. I'm trying to pick which country I'd go to. Australia is the normal choice.

I hate it. No, you would. That would be so funny. You move to Norway and you don't speak any Norwegian, but you're like, oh, hello, gang. What is going on with you? Oh, no, I've been here i just uh left the airport that's why i've been here for 20 minutes kyle kyle bjornson about snow i think everywhere all the time. I think Australia's high

on the list of cool places. Too many things that would kill you in Australia, bro. Honestly, Costa Rica seems like a really nice place. I'm talking like bugs and massive spiders. I'll hire an exterminator. We play with the most dangerous game

over here, other people. Australia is safe by comparison. But you're going to say AIDS. Hong Kong looks fucking... The most dangerous game. Technically, that's other people. That's so random. Hong Kong looks fucking cool.

South Korea looks amazing. Like Singapore. I told you you they won't let me in the ideal world japan would be cool but you'd have to learn japanese they don't let you live in japan unless you're like committed to learning japanese adopting their which is what i want to do if i moved to japan you're still treated like crap in like kyoto and and japan like it's if you're a foreigner you're a foreigner forever. There's Japanese people who are born there who still can't get citizenship. Dude, I'm wearing my

fucking back-to-back World War Champions fucking t-shirt. It's going to be like Mr. Baseball. You ever see that Tom Selleck movie, Mr. Baseball? New York Giants player gets traded to a Japanese team. He's incensed about it and has to integrate into Japanese culture. It's hilarious. Tom Selleck with his

mustache, having to sit cross-legged on the floor and shit. It's a fish-out-of-water story. It's real funny. I would get a fuck. I'm not a scintillating. I'm going to get tatted up and get on the woman's cart on the train. I don't care. You're going to do that?

You're going to get on the roper's car? No. You went in Rome. You got to respect the land. I'd be bowing at people. I'd be doing it. And I wouldn't be doing it in a condescending way. I'd be – Wait, wait, wait.

So if you're saying when in Rome, do as the Romans do, you would start groping people on trains? No, I would say to the men's train like a decent human being. Actually, I don't think – yeah. Kyle, you're not respecting the culture if you don't grope the women on the trains. I think that's kind of racist. Well, in Japan, isn't it mandatory that your phone has to make a sound when it takes a picture because so many

guys were doing upskirt pictures and all that crap you cannot disable the kachunk sound on your camera phone the whole country is so horny that they're like we need a technological way around this problem that they're like, we need a technological way around this problem.

I mean, so they make a shutter sound. Do they still blur out their porn scenes and stuff? It's so weird. As far as I can tell. I think if it's produced there, maybe. I don't quite understand the whole deal. I've been told that the blurred genital law or rule

or whatever it is, is why you have so much tentacle porn because they don't have to blur it out. And it's just like, look what they've done. Look what you did. It should have been like Prohibition when all of a sudden,

we tried Prohibition. We got Al Capone, organized crime, and people drinking poison to try to get drunk. Looks like we tried prohibition. We got Al Capone organized crime and people drinking poison to try to get drunk. Looks like we made a mistake. Let's go back. Japan never went back to cock and pussy. They just rode the tentacle shit out and we get what we get today.

I'm preaching to the choir. I'm 100% on board. They need to go back to looking at regular dick and vagina. Why is it always rape? Why does the girl never enjoy the tentacles? And they're always like 15. Oh no. Is it? They're always like young girls in these videos. They always look underage

and they don't like what's happening to them. That speaks to the vast majority of Japanese animated pornography. How am I supposed to self insert in that? I have no tentacles. I have no suction cups. I pretend I am the girl. I'm the girl.

I just imagine being pinned down by a strong ass wide shouldered octopus. Take me. Hairy ass. What? Not much of them. They don't do anything. Yeah, Hentai is a whole different world. What? Starfish have brains in their legs? Not much of them. They don't do anything. If you cut off their legs,

you don't kill the starfish. You just get more starfish. Does the leg become another starfish? Yeah, they grow out and become more starfish. I don't know. It'd be like a good way to make friends. Drop a leg off. This guy's a dick. This guy's a dick. I never should have bifurcated

my legs and made more friends. What if they're like clones? If they have their own type of senses and memories and all that. I wouldn't consider that, right? You could murder someone, cut your leg off, make a clone, claim it was him. I think it's the legless one, Your Honor.

Because we know how our weird biology works. They caught me. Now I'm fucking Oscar Pistorius. Not only does your leg grow back, the rest of him grows back. A whole other being. To work off of the stuff

Woody started out with with the motorcycle. Sorry, motorcycles. There's a whole weird trend going on in the States, especially the warmer areas, where if you look on Instagram pages, like official legal pit, where kids will stop traffic and start doing burnouts. Yeah, yeah. And the hilarious thing is the new trending thing is that kids getting hit by people doing burnouts. Fuck yeah. And it's the funniest stuff. I love watching it. Like, this Instagram page is just dedicated to kids getting hit by these burnouts.

It is too funny. But it is like, ugh. My YouTube search results this week, it's like people getting hit by cars, protesters getting ran over by cars. Oh, Jesus. Like, I watched an hour just of protesters getting ran over by cars. Oh, Jesus. I watched an hour just of protesters getting ran over by cars. I found one that I kind of felt bad about, though, because it wasn't... So here's what happened. These people were

protesting a slaughterhouse, a hog slaughterhouse. They blocked the entryway, and there's a big semi-truck full of pigs. They run up, and they start giving the pigs water through these bottles. It's pretty pitiful. I kind of feel for the pigs. And this 60-year-old climate protester or whatever, she's standing in the middle of the driveway.

And the big rig turns in. He says he didn't see her. And she goes under the dual tires. And it drags her. it doesn't roll over her it smears her across the parking lot for like 40 50 feet and turns her into a mushy pile and there's a guy in front of her and you can't hear anything because the security camera from that's the that's one of the povs but you can see by his hand movements he's slowly like no no no no and then he's just like hands on head because he's seeing a like a 60 year old

woman get smushed on asphalt and i think they found the driver somewhat you gotta do different stuff online man like that information diet that's so terrible why would you put that in your soul in your mind and uh but it's usually a lot worse than what i was talking about it's not usually such a downer usually it's these cocksuckers in the road and somebody's had enough and they just mow through them and when i'll tell you when a car rolls over a human being that you don't like, it's a good feeling, Taylor. It's like I like the protest. The mob's banging on the windows. They're they're they're hitting it with sticks and bottles.

And then the person's clearly terrified and they just hit the gas. And you realize that even a bitch made car is just way more powerful than a human being has any business being in the arena with some fucking Subaru Outback. Like most lesbian lame ass car ever. It's up and over crowds. Yeah. But you have to look at the takeover videos that I'm talking about because these are kids in like Hellcats and BMWs and import cars. And they're like the light fires in the middle so the cars can skid through them and stuff.

And 99% of the time, there's like one kid standing too close. And for some reason, every time one of these guys get hit by a car, their pants come off. It is the weirdest. They weren't out to begin with. They needed a belt.

But you feel good because it's like, these guys are like blocking traffic and they're like skidding and they're skidding. They got the phones out and lasers pointing at the cars and they're throwing Molotov cocktails at cars and setting Corvettes on fire. There's a similar type thing. It's older, but with dirt bikes in the city. Yeah. And a lot of times these guys on dirt bikes are really talented.

And it's just a tall task for a policeman to catch somebody on a dirt bike in a city. That was happening in New York. But one weekend, the cops just went out and just took all dirt bikes, whether they were street racing or doing pop wheelies or just sitting there. They took all dirt bikes in New York and put them all in trucks. Like hundreds of them at one time. And they didn't give them back. In Massachusetts, it made it illegal to refuel your dirt bike. Wow.

Yeah, basically it had to be on a trailer. You had to buy cans, but the whole business of being a hooligan and then filling up and being a hooligan some more is over. Wow, yeah. these kids are getting bored bro it's like so weird i remember we talked about only use me blade a couple times a couple episodes ago and the mistake that was drinking for cash i watched these crazy motorcycle videos

and i feel like they've made a comparable mistake, which is driving recklessly for views. And these guys are on motorcycles going over 120 miles an hour through twisty roads or between cars on highways. And they just have to keep topping themselves. And there's one guy. He'll never walk normally again. He has a cane. And then he gets on a bike and somehow he's a super athlete unimpacted by his injuries. And then he gets off a bike. He he's a super athlete unimpacted by his injuries and then he gets off a bike and he's bad back bad knees bad everything and you just know like it's like you're watching somebody killing themselves yeah a couple of them died just

remember like what i'm thinking of right now is max wrist he's very fast very talented guy crashes every year his friends dead bad kitty and And that's just that's what happened. They just sort of stopped making videos and you find out they're dead. I used to do dirt bikes when I was younger, but I said as soon as I became a dad, I swore them off. Dirt bikes? Yeah. And I was about to get a ninja street bike back in the day before I had kids. I said, when I became a dad, I swore them off because literally everybody I know who rides has been in an accident at one point or another. 90% of the time is because of the other vehicle hitting them or not seeing them.

But not on a dirt bike. Totally out of your control. No, no, no. I'm just talking about motorcycles in general. Motorcycles are dangerous. I don't pretend otherwise. Dirt bikes, though. talking about yeah motorcycles in general motorcycles are dangerous i don't pretend otherwise um dirt bikes though at least the kind of dirt bike riding i do which is trail bikes and all the hard shit's done slow you fall over you break your finger yeah you know on the trail it's fine i'm just talking about like on the street and you know everyday riding and all that

stuff and on the trail you're good yeah yeah it're good. What are you looking at, Kyle? Before we jump to whatever Kyle's looking at, we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful I'll lick it so you can watch while I read. I'm not going to watch it while I read. You have work to do. We all take off. You, me, and enough smoking accessories

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But man, I have to get you into Survivor. This show is very good. All right. It's on Netflix. It's streaming. They only have like two seasons, but it's not the same two seasons. So it's like every year they get two different seasons there's 37 or so out there i'm watching 33 right now it is very compelling at this point the contestants on survivor have watched 30 years worth of

survivor go down and they are experts in it they know all the things that work, all the hashtag blindside. And someone will be absolutely on top of the world. And they feel like they're crushing it on this show. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. The tallest flower gets plucked. And sure enough, everyone's like, this guy's really good. Let's get rid of him. Or this person totally sucks. There's, um,

there's one, it's a, there's a black woman on the show right now and she's terrible at swimming really, really bad swims that take other people literally 15 seconds, take her like seven minutes. And it's just, you wonder if she's throwing the challenge and trying to get her team to lose, but she's still around and they always talk about getting rid of her, but they don't because she'll be easy to beat later on. Presumably there's another, there's a guy he's really weak and he's not particularly smart. And it's like, you're killing your team in the challenges and you're not really helping with puzzles and stuff. Sometimes there's a weak guy that's very smart and it's like, all right, we all have our skills, right? This guy can't throw a ball to save his life. But when it comes to like doing a word scramble puzzle or something,

he carries his weight. Totally worthless people sometimes survive because they're clever and they're like, man, I'm about to get voted off. But I'll tell you what, you're the second weakest person here and you're the third weakest person here. Don't you see how i'm about to get voted off but i'll tell you what you're the second weakest person here and you're the third weakest person here don't you see how this is about to go down you need to partner with the worst person on the island to keep us all alive it's in your interest and they sell shit and it you know i i watched a previous season where the guy was good at catching fish and he's like man i'm safe because I feed this whole fucking crew. They don't want to lose me. Turns out they'd rather starve than have a strong competitor on the island with them.

So you have to somehow be like not the worst person because they get voted off and not the best person, but this unnoticed person in the middle while still winning challenges and getting immunities. And the social sneakiness in survivor is next level and i remember early on 30 years ago or whatever they thought survivor was about surviving and it turned out the winner was the sneakiest rat on the island and it's like whoa i guess that's what survivors actually like like i was saying before that like you want to survive in an apocalypse you don't need a gun you don't need food you need therapy so you can make better friends so that you can lead this crowd or not lead i don't know where you want to be maybe tallest flower gets plucked like i just said i watch survivor and normally when i watch these shows i'm like these people suck often Or not lead. I don't know where you want to be. Maybe tallest flower gets plucked, like I just said. I watch Survivor.

And normally when I watch these shows, I'm like, these people suck. Often because I know more than they do. I'm like, they're making stupid decisions. I would be so much better at this game. I watch Survivor. They're better than me. They're all better than me. And I'm like, I'm so impressed with the way that guy manipulated that girl, that guy, and that girl.

To get them in his alliance and convince them that it was their best interest to leave the biggest, strongest alliance. You know, you're like, all right, you're an alliance of six and I'm in a group of three and I'm kind of fucked, right? They're going to pick us off one by one, but dude, you're number six on that six. You don't want to be that. You could be number one on my three. We just get a couple more guys over here. It is devious and interesting, and I'm on the edge of my seat the whole time, and the production value is next level.

I watch so much YouTube. I go over to Survivor, and I'm like, holy shit, they got time lapse of the storm? It's great. Is Jeff Probst still hosting that thing? Yes, and somehow he hasn't aged. Dude, it's 46 seasons of that show. 46?

Oh, my. I'm watching 33. Yeah. Wow. I remember the first two seasons, and I kind of gave it up after that. It's amazing, man. There was a reason it's gotten 46 seasons deep. And now the people are such experts

in the game that is Survivor. People come on and they're like, I'm a Survivor nerd. I'm a Survivor super fan. It is on my bucket list to be involved in a blind side, to get an immunity idol, to do this, that, the other thing. Is it a million dollar prize to win it?

I can't remember. I think there's also some money for second and third. Inflation has not been kind to Survivor. They can still get all those people out on a desert island somewhere for only a million dollars.

I wonder how long they filmed. The one I'm watching is Gen X versus Millennials. Unlike other Gen X people, i don't hate millennials like i dude all these gen xers on the show are like these guys suck they don't know how to work hard they don't know how to put their time in etc etc like what the fuck is wrong with you like like the producers told me to say it would he that's not true maybe i'm a fool but um uh i like, no, no, no, no. The millennials have their own talents. They tend to work together much better than the Gen Xers do. Because in real life, like no one even thinks in those concepts.

Right. So you need a producer to be in becoming like you guys are Gen Xers. I bet at least three of them were like, what's that mean exactly again? Yeah. And these are millennials. What does that mean? Well, let me tell you what millennials are. Well, you mean the group of people there shouldn't we get to know them no no no you hate them you see well it's definitely true that they're kind of like the

40 and 50 year olds versus the 20 year olds and uh yeah you know so you can forget the gen whatever's and just see like oh all right these 20 year olds have had the internet since the very beginning and i think that's created a bit of like social literacy that's different than the 40 year olds have and uh i don't i like watching it play out there's two people that got it they call it a showmance a boy and a girl fell in love so immediately everyone is like that's a power couple priority number one vote someone off the island and they're like in love like fuck is this a mistake so dude it is fun to watch we're adults I'll see you in three weeks

no it's over I'm actually not sure that whatever magic that caused them to fall in love exists off the island it won't who fucking cares my dick in San Diego or not at all bitch i'm playing the game like he's probably like he's probably like an alpha on the island and then when they get off

the island she'll go and meet him and he's like you know doing the dishes at the local denny's and you know what i mean like the uh what was i gonna say oh and then the other thing like there's the showmans right there's this couple on the on the show taylor and figgy they love each other but i'm like i am 80 sure this dude is head over heels in love with this chick and this chick is playing the game you know she's like i've got a puppy dog i get two votes all the time fuck with me go ahead i have two votes because uh fucking tails over here does anything i ask him to his name is taylor yeah and. He's just trying to get some island pussy. I think he is. Yeah, dude. She's a bit of a vote whore.

Yes. She's cute. I love playing the game. Yeah. At the beginning, she said she's really good at manipulating men, but I don't know what the producers tell her

to say or what's going on but and you can tell she is that's a hilarious thing to brag about it's like if i pretend that i'm gonna fuck men they do things i want them to and it's like yeah you're you've really cracked the code dude guess what lady if i pretend i'm gonna marry you i can get you to do it. Kyle, if you give it a shot, you have to give it like three episodes or so. Because that's when it gets a little good. Like the first episode, they don't know each other. The alliances aren't so bad. But then three episodes in, I'll make it up, 13 days in.

And with that, some real bonds have formed that get broken out of deceit and self-interest. And that's what the show is about. I'm too cynical to watch that show or any reality show for that matter. Like the whole time I'm watching it, I'm like, no, you're not. No, you didn't. OK, sure they did. Like I just know that it's manipulated the whole time. And then I don't believe any of it's real then i don't believe any of it's real i don't believe any of it's real i don't believe like like any of

those relationships that are happening or any interactions that are occurring like i don't believe any of it's real like i just don't like like i if you go all the way back to something like fear factor you could tell that was real because it'd go off the rails every now and then well it was real because it was like today we're eating roaches and it's like that guy's eating roach well no you had that one like fight with rogan where like the crazy bitch hit another contestant and rog was like whoa you can't hit people and then the girl's boyfriend sticks up for her and he's like she can't hit people and joe's like puts him in a fucking headlock they like like that was off the rails

that's clearly a real thing that's happening you can't pay joe rogan to like make up a silly fight thing but on the other hand like i don't know survivor there's definitely real shit and survive there's a chick whose eye is swollen and red and she has a bacterial infection there's a guy i thought he was having a heart attack but it was just dehydration uh there have been people who fell in the fire and got seriously injured i saw that season yeah oh did you yeah that are maybe multiple people have fallen in fires but this guy in particular he was like a great hunter and he had killed a boar he had went out and killed a fucking pig with a fucking spear and and to me i was like this is the champion of the tribe this guy I got behind

him full time. He should have his choice of the females the next that guy comes out there with his clipboard and he's like Greg you killed a pig today pick any of the women we're getting real in season 43 people

he could also make fires and that's how he got hurt he was making the fire and he was doing that thing where you blow on the uh the embers or whatever try to get it whooshing up well i guess he like mistimed his breath so he inhaled a big breath of like hot smoky air and went immediately unconscious face first in the fucking fire hands first really and like he woke up from burning you know maybe five seconds later maybe seven long time to burn long enough that his hand all the skin on his hands were draped off like like curtain material and he's running screaming into the water and he's in the water and he's ah and they're like they're like rich Richard will not be continuing on with the competition. He had to be taken to the mainland.

I can say 100%. Sometimes you see stuff in a show, especially a reality show, where it's like, yeah, I could also step on a piece of glass and cut myself on accident. That is a mistake I would never make. I would never, ever be blowing into a fire and accidentally inhale so much that I passed out. I would be the guy.

My play would be like, they'd be like, Taylor's a fucking bum. He hasn't done anything the whole time. And I'm like, yeah, you think anyone's going to vote for me in the finale? Certainly not you, you dumb fat ass. Like, just like that. And people will be like, man, we got to keep Taylor around. Everybody hates him no one is going to do challenges in survivor are all right so there's a challenge they have to

swim out maybe like 200 feet get a life ring that's the inflatable round thing on the side of a boat and uh and swim it back and touch their pole in the ring at the same time okay cool so there's two guys on each team and the two millennials who I thought were going to win. They look like surfers. They've got low body fat. They're fit. They like surfer guys. And then the Gen Xers, there's one big strong guy. And then there's one like total piece of shit, worthless garbage. Who's, you know, a fucking buoy. He's not going to, whatever. So I'm like, all right, obvious winners. I'll take the two fucking fit dudes. Well, the one big dude unbeknownst to me

is a national champion football player from the oklahoma sooners and he just grabs both fucking surfers and bear hugs them and doesn't let them play and then unimpeded piece of shit goes with the buoys and wins the game and The servers are emasculated. They fight for a minute or so, and then they're like, what the fuck am I going to do? This guy's beating us both up at once. That's really embarrassing. They can't hit him? I don't understand.

A good part of it was it existed in the water, and he was taller, so they barely have any grip on the ground while he has good punches. What are the rules of this combat the winner is the person who gets the ring and brings it back no but like eye pokes uh groin grabs legal scratching okay oh my god then i will say this i say there's not a man in the world who can restrain me and kyle at the same time bring it because i'm going he's going to be

blind and nutless i'm going eyes low i've got his balls in my mouth i'm doing this and unless he hits me with this i'm taking his eyes if i grab the like 17 year old version of you both against this collegiate national champion in football for Oklahoma, I don't know. See, Taylor Strong is not a good argument. But to grab the skinny version of Kyle from when he was 17, two of him, you couldn't do anything. I mean, but if you're allowed to be dirty.

We'd be punching that guy in the face. But just keep in mind, as soon as you poke his eyes, he's going to take your eyeballs home with him. He's the alpha. No, he's only got two arms. He can't take both't take both he only needs one finger i don't know i've seen guys take on two guys before you never know bro no dude no i'm an internet compelling yeah and then afterwards after this competition's over there were actually a bunch of rounds i haven't described guys have like massive scratches all over their rib cage and shit like it was real

they were fighting fuck yeah you remember pool fights as a kid like you'd go swim and like everybody like uh pool basketball pool basketball as a kid i can't count the number of times that i felt like i was right about to drown and I'm sure that I did that to other people, too, where, you know, you hold them underwater because you're trying to make the basket. And there is a moment where, like, you come up and it's not a normal gasp for air. It's like like almost like panic, like your body is freaked the fuck out. And then, like, you deal with that for 30 seconds and then you go, all right, down by four like we gotta we gotta do what he did to us water is not the reason i'm talking about but there was this one guy he was super annoying he was a good talker and he wasn't a particularly good athlete and everybody knew he was going to get voted off that night it wasn't in question

he knew it too which isn't always. Usually you go for the blind side. And I think the challenge was to like stand on an uncomfortable pole. And this guy would never done really well in any of these physical challenges. Just was like his life depended on it. So he stood on that pole and he annoyed the fuck out of everybody else with this terrible stories and insults. Fucking Jeff probes. Couldn't take it anymore.

He's like, stop. He's like, there's no rules that say I have to stop talking. I'm distracting myself. I'm not paying attention to my pain and I'm going to talk the whole time. You're looking old, Jeff.

Just saying, I thought you'd want to know that. Okay. This guy rules. I hope he won. He was great. This show is so much better than I'm describing. Dude pulls out a copy of My grandma watches every season of

Swimers. She loves it. My grandma's cool as shit. She loves it. My grandma also loved I think I mentioned this on the show. I was trying to fix her Netflix a few years ago and she's like, hey, it's not working on this TV, but I've been liking the show. I was trying to fix her Netflix a few years ago, and she's like, yeah, it's not working on this TV, but I've been liking that show,

Downtown Abbey. And I was like, Downtown Abbey, yeah. And I was like, Downton Abbey? And she's like, it isn't Downtown Abbey? And I'm like, no.

And she's like, well, I've been watching for two seasons, and I thought it was Downtown Abbey the whole time. I laughed at that. I love my grandma. Shout out, loves taylor's big listener yeah speaking of in a pure nice way now that you're a nice way she wouldn't she's never listened to one second of my online probably a good thing yeah she was like uh she's like i'll tell my friends they'll ask what's your grandson do again can you describe it and I just tell them he does a podcast and I've never listened

because he told me the kind of things he says on there not the kind of things I should hear and I trust him she's got that much cooler what the fuck speaking of survival games did you guys see squid games challenge a real life game from no I didn't Speaking of survival games, did you guys see Squid Games Challenge? A real life Squid Games?

No, I didn't. Oh, you haven't seen that? I saw the regular Squid Game. They did the game for real. Yeah. He did something. Squid Games. Mr. Beast? That's a separate thing.

Okay, okay. What is this? Squid Game YouTube video. There was the Squid Game TV show that's all fictional. Then Netflix made a reality show called Squid Games where they do it for real. Except people don't die. They lose instead of dying. Okay. When they die, they have like black paintballs explode on them to show that they're dying.

They fall like they're dying or something something but it was actually really well done like i had to keep watching and the prize money was like four million dollars 4.56 million that's a reality that's another that's that's what i'm saying about survivor it it's a little lame that they're stuck with the one million before taxes this is like a man saying that steak're stuck with the $1 million. Before taxes. This is like a man saying that steak tastes horrible who's never had a steak. They've been doing that since...

Oh yes, they've been making a terrible show for 47 seasons. Nobody likes it. There's no market for this. I think it's been going since 2000. Maybe pre-9-11 they did one. I'm just saying they could up the prize money. Keep it with inflation.

I bet Jeff Probst's salary went up over the years. I bet he's not making the same he made for season one. A million dollars was a lot when it started. I bet they spend more making the show. But you're right. The prize is having it. Zach put it in here. The winner gets

a million second gets 100 grand and third gets 85 grand again that's million before taxes so you're losing half of that after you win like that can't even buy that because a lot of people don't think it's half it's about half it's about half it's just like and you can't that's why richard hatch went to prison because he didn't pay the app. Remember? Oh, that's right. You get to keep it, because if they're like, all right, Woody, 400 grand or four months in prison, I'll be like, I'll bring the Vaseline. I don't make 100 grand a month, though. Let's go. Well, you're going to have to pay a fine, plus on top of the taxes.

If you don't pay the fine, how many more months is that? Let's work this out. They'll garnish your future reality show winnings. It looks like... Kyle, if they were to keep it consummate with inflation, then the million dollar

prize in 2000 right now would have to be 1.8 million dollars. I thought it'd be higher. Yeah. And also that show, I don't know if they still do Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, but back when Regis Philbin, God rest his soul, did the show,

it seemed like a million dollars was a whole lot of money. Like $98, $99. I remember when that show came on, the idea that you were going to give somebody a million dollars on a reality show, it's like, oh my God. Everything else was Wheel of Fortune,y uh price is right because you susan won 17 grand and a fridge you could win 50 on those shows stuff like that or on wheel of fortune every night you could there was occasionally some bigger ones you get closer to six figures and it wasn't until jennings to Jeopardy started doing that crazy winning streak shit.

That other guy surpassed Jennings by quite a bit, I think, in total winnings. What was the show where they asked people the questions and you could call for help at home? Who wants to be a millionaire? Phone a friend.

Phone a friend, ask the audience. What was the one with the briefcases that opened? Deal or no deal with Howie Mandel hosting. And one of the suitcases, no, no, I don't think it was deal or no. Was it deal or no deal? No, it was deal or no deal. That was the suitcase one. You've got the ladies holding the suitcases,

and they have different amounts of money in them. Okay, okay. You keep getting the situation where it's like, do you want to take this much or do you want to keep going? They eliminate briefcases as you go. It really puts them in a shitty situation because you can walk away with fucking nothing. Five bucks.

Yeah. Was that a million dollars or was that like half a million? I can't even remember. Someone eventually won. I think I saw an interview with Mandel where he talked about someone finally won the like million or whatever but you know the odds of maybe it's half a million i thought it was a million but i thought there was like a briefcase with a million

and then half a million i think the whole thing combined with a million dollars but the big one was like 500 maybe i don't know i like that uh do you know the story of there was that game where you had to stop the spinning wheel on a thing and this guy studied the game until he had it mastered? Yeah, I know about that from Opie and Anthony. He just ran the score up on him?

Whammy. Oh, really? If you haven't seen that clip, you should look it up. ONA, the old opening show. I remember that show. My favorite show of all time. Like before his run. They did a talk about it

where he timed exactly where to hit every single time in order to make it go to like a vacation or dodge the whammy spots. And so the way that game always played, because it would just be, it was a square with a bunch of different panels in it and

then inside those panels they had like the cameras and everything showing things and then the whammy would just quickly go back and forth and everything and so when people got their turn they would usually just right away be like stop and then they'd be like oh you hit a whammy sorry you're out oh you got a vacation to the caribbean islands or whatever and this guy they'd be like all right jeff it's your turn and he would sit there for like 30 seconds a minute sometimes and just wait and so it'd be like and just he'd let it keep going until he saw it hit a square that he had memorized meant that the square after that would be a non-whammy and then he would

smack it and he he won he almost bankrupted that game because they they were like i think they had like an allotment in that game for like every winner to make up to like seven grand it was in the 70s and he like kept going and he was in like high, almost $200,000 or something in the late 70s. You know the Price is Right guy, right? There was a documentary on Netflix about the Price is Right guy. Basically, he was a super fan and he memorized

the prices of every item in the showcase and he would show up to every filming and you would hear him because they do that thing where the person doesn't know what to do and they look up at the crowd and the crowd yells at numbers you'd hear his voice a dollar 89 well it's a dollar 89 it turns out and like this happens enough that people start like noticing that that one guy is nailing it every fucking time and so and so he's helping other people win but finally they call his name after years of trying to get on.

And he just runs the table, just runs the table. It's a really good Netflix documentary. It's probably called The Price is Right. That would be my guess, but he just memorized the whole showcase. It's a lot of products. It's, I don't know how many I'm guessing, but 500? It's a lot. Yeah, that's a lot.

I don't know how many I'm guessing, but 500? It's a lot. Speaking of products, I saw trending on Twitter was a bunch of people wanting to boycott McDonald's because they donated some money to Israel or some shit. But the reason to boycott McDonald's is not that. It's their prices have become so insulting. Oh my gosh. It's as if like,

you know, I'm coming to McDonald's, right? You're trying to charge $5, $6 for like a 10 piece nugget. That would go fuck yourself. A Big Mac, a meal,

a Big Mac meal should not be $12. Big Mac meal up here is $15, bro. It bro like it's it's an eighty dollars that's not real it's not even close to being good american dollars like that's a lot do you remember the three three dollar the three dollar menu the two dollar menu the one dollar menu that's when you could rationalize going to mcdonald's because it's like all right low quality food but it's really fast and I'm going to spend $7

with tax and be full to the brim of sodium now there's no way to rationalize if anything it's bad for those of us who really like rationalizing eating bad foods because now it's impossible to rationalize going to McDonald's it's impossible

it's a healthy rationalize going to McDonald's. It's impossible. It's a financial decision. Supercise this financial decision. I want to be extra smart. I guess I should just go buy a fucking rotisserie chicken. That's only like a dollar more than that whole meal would be, and it gives me a whole chicken worth of meat. Guess I'll do that. But that's not as tasty, not as immediately satisfying

as getting that delicious injection of MSG or whatever they have in mcdonald's fries that makes it good it's not beef tallow anymore kyle clued me in that they don't do that it hasn't been beef tallow for a long time but they use a beef tallow flavoring agent which is just as good wow i bet it's not just as good yeah big mac combo the same price as a freshie salad now. Like it's... Yeah, it doesn't really make any sense to go there. Like I'm either going to

order something better or I'm just going to be like Jesus, the ingredients for this. I could make 10 times as much if I just go and buy the ingredients and it'll be so, so much better. I usually end up doing that. Very often, but I'm usually disappointed in the food.

My problem is they're not the premier fast food restaurant anymore. They never were. It's just something you know, right? They were number one. Maybe premier is not the right word, but they were number one and they had something going on. They're still number one in sales, but never been number one in quality.

No, never. I've brought them up before. Do they have Culver's where you guys are, or is that a Midwest thing? They do, but it's a new addition. Last five, ten years. Yeah. Nice little Butter Burger. They butter their buns the

way Woody did at his job. Woody would have a Butter Burger from Culver's. We carry on the tradition of the Butter Boy. buns the way Woody did at his job. Woody would have to hear it covered. We carry on the tradition of the Butter Boy. This is the character of Woody. Bring out the Butter Boy.

Lost in time is the true name of the Butter Boy, but legend says on the New Jersey boardwalk eat butter a bun like no other. So McDonald's then Starbucks, Subway, Burger King, Taco Bell, Wendy's. Dunkin' Donuts, Chick-fil-A. What happened to Burger King? It's not even close.

Burger King's got to be number four. It used to be number two, bro. They went so downhill. I think that was more Starbucks and Subway exploding maybe than Burger King losing ground. No, Burger King franchises have gone downhill. I mean, their burgers are still decent, but it's... I see Zaxby's down there with like two pixels next to Hardee's. I noticed Chick-fil-A did really well.

They're kind of not distinguishable being like seventh on the list. But then if you look at the number of franchise, it was like 14,000, 10,000, 9,000. Chick-fil-A was there at like two something. I'm close. Maybe not right.

But if you do like a little, little per capita rating or whatever, Chick-fil-A kills it. Do you have raising canes? I do. I have one not too far from my house. It tastes like, you know,

if you buy a sandwich at Raising Cane's, it's not a chicken patty. I don't think anyone does that. It's chicken strips. It's just chicken strips on a bun, which to me is lazy. Alright, so that's a specific style of restaurant. They get copied a lot.

It makes a ton of money. Down here, we have a place called Guthrie's, and they're like bootleg Zaxby's. They're like, we're going to give you the bare bones. They don't have those branded packets of sauce that Zaxby's has with their name on it. They give you a little plastic cup.

They don't have any, their name on anything. Everything is white boxes and white styrofoam and it, but it's really fucking good and high quality and it's cheaper than anybody else. But raising canes's I always hear Landmark talk about it when he's playing Tarkov

and just obsesses over it he's like nobody gets the sandwich you're an idiot if you get the sandwich and I'm like taking notes like yes don't get the sandwich don't be an idiot but I've never had it again that's one of those places I'll drive past and i'll be like

well you know i could what are the fries are they crinkle fries with like some seasoning they are crinkle fries and the times i've had them it's probably because like i'm getting it in the styrofoam container and the one i'm near has like raisin canes logos emblazoned on the styrofoam and everything and i but i bring it home and I think even that short amount of time with the steamy tenders in there with the fries ruins the fries. Okay, I don't mind that. I don't like crispy fries.

I like them to be floppy. What the fuck, man? That's my first question. You like floppy fries? I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal, and I'm proud of it. I pour the milk on. I leave it there for five minutes. I do something else cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I like soggy cereal. I'm proud of it. I like soggy cereal. I'm proud of it. I'm proud of it. I like soggy cereal. I'm proud of it. I like soggy cereal. I'm proud of it. I like I I I I I I pour the milk on I leave it there for five minutes I do something else come back when it's ready to eat. Why do you like soggy fries? What happened to you? Who hurt you? Oh, they're fucking delicious. I would cook them myself. I always underdone all floppy and greasy everywhere. That's fucking terrible. If I came to your house and you served me floppy fries? I wouldn't do that. I would twice fry them at two different temperatures and duck fat.

If I was making, I would cut them out with a, with a, an apple core. I make the, they look like cigars. They're incredible. Now we're talking. Cause the floppy fry talk.

I would like, that's what I like. I wouldn't serve that to you though. Never have I seen someone with a bad opinion, turn it around like into a chicken. I know. I know. Right.

I almost wish I was about to go fucking hard with floppy dick over there like yeah i like sex flaccid that's kind of my thing i know it's not for everyone but trust me yeah i only like to be with a girl i only like to come when my dick is like 40 hard and i'm having to grab with the whole. And then I'm like, jack off the hard part, babe. My masturbation technique's a little unconventional, but I like to use no lube and get a little blood in there. Oh my gosh. We were having a fun talk

about fries. Lord. Well, tell me about this. Tell me about the sauce. The sauce at Raising Gains. Is it like an orange sauce with a little spice, a little pep to it? It is. I don't really like... It's the same as Chick-fil-A sauce. It's Cane's. Is it like an orange sauce with a little spice, a little pep to it? It is. I don't really like... It's the same as Chick-fil-A sauce. It's the same thing. I don't like Chick-fil-A sauce.

I don't really like it either. Zaxby sauce, a.k.a. Zax sauce is delicious, though. It's this orange sort of like spicy ketchup mayo type thing with a little zest to it. Very good. We don't have Zaxby's here. Ooh, my mouth's watering just thinking about it. Wings of Redemption, also a big fan of Zaxby's.

Is it? Yes. It's a big thing. It carries weight. It does. It does. They've got hot wings at Zaxby's, though. That's how they distinguish themselves above lessers like Kane's and Guthrie's.

The hot wings are really good. I don't know if it's inflation or what it is, why hot wings are so expensive now, but it's like, you want a steak or do you want 15 wings? 15 wings are not so expensive, it's unreal. 15 wings are about the same price as a decent steak at a mid-tier restaurant. It's really like any meat option has gotten so expensive that it's jarring

now but like chicken wings go you always think about chicken wings is like lower tier cheap option for me even though it's delicious which is why wings are so popular i think but now it's like yeah fuck do i want 12 wings or do I want probably low quality New York strip? Yeah. From the same place. I don't know how wings got so expensive. I've actually never cooked wings myself. That's one of the few things I've never done. That's the one thing I can

teach you how to make. Real good wings. In the oven. You don't need to fry them. And they're crisp as hell. I don't like... See, there we go. I don't like them crispy. I want them to be juicy and soft. All off the bone.

It's juicy on the inside, and it's crispy on the inside. I want the skin to be... Yeah, I just take them and sort of... I pinch them at the top with three fingers and put them on the table or the platter, the plate, whatever, and push down to all the meat.

And I just eat that meat. If there's anything left, I can... Are you talking about a flat or a drum here right now? The flat, yeah. I can figure out the drum on my own. The flats are better, but there's a technique to eating them. I used to like the drumstick just because they were easy to eat on the side.

Like Kyle said, you have to grab it from the right side, which I don't always get right. And then you just push it, push it down and you just freaking suck that thing out. There's nothing but two empty bones. And I can, your hands are filthy though.

It's not the cleanliness. I like to eat the crispy parts around it, eat all the meat. And then that last little bit of meat in between the flats. I just break it open. In my dream, I go out, I order wings, Taylor gets crabs, and we share our expertise. We cross-pollinate the eating.

We'll have to find a place with crab legs and wings first. Two nights. But I would help you. Within two minutes, I'd have you guys perfectly breaking and pulling out the most succulent, solid pieces. There's no digging in that big meat piece. You are vastly overestimating my talent ceiling. You're going to have a light touch when you break it. You need to feel when it breaks on the outer wall when you crack that way, and then you bring it back slowly this way. But if you try and crack it

that way, you're going to break the meat in the middle. What you have to do is you break that one side and then you pull down and it almost peels the other side apart. So break out and then pull down, angled back and then you slide right out.

This is a great reason to do an in-person PKA. Let's do that and not talk for like 40 minutes on it while we just feast. It's so succulent. It's so succulent, Woody.

I'll be eating a wing and Woody will be like, Taylor, try this. And I'll be like, god damn it, you've done it. And then you'll eat a piece of crab leg and I'll be like, try this. And be like damn i didn't know you could you're gonna have such big pieces of crab that it's gonna be a struggle to get every bit of it in the butter that's gonna be your problem where uh i want to have where uh where where have you had the best crab like like I don't even know where. Taylor, where have you had the best crap?

Say it. Say it. Probably there was this really weird, like, mom and pop shop near my grandparents' house in, like, southeast Missouri. And they were obsessed with having, like, fresh seafood. Like, obsessed with it and they and apparently like being in southeast missouri very tough to get that shipped like like crab every day but they had like daily crab shipments still like frozen and ready and so like we'd go there and get it and it was fucking fantastic it was snow crab so it had to be frozen because it's coming from a

place like alaska but like a lot of places in the midwest you go to get crab and it's clearly old you can tell the meat is a little drier it's not what you want it to be it's not juicy they had it shipped in every fucking day and maybe a little bit of his like rose-colored glasses because i was like age 8 to 14 when this was happening they had an all-you-can-eat crab deal for 1899 and me and my younger brother specifically were responsible for that policy change. Specifically, it was us. My grandparents were friends with the owners, and they brought up to them because they'd see us come in, and then the owners would be like, oh, there's them boys. I wonder what they're getting today. And my younger brother was a little more responsible with it. He would eat like four clusters or whatever and be done. I would make everyone sit there and effectively watch me eat eight, 10, 12 clusters. I would eat until I was borderline sick and then I would go home. And I always had it in my head and I still have to this day that crab makes you have

to poop if you eat a lot of it because it's like it a 15-minute drive from that place back to my grandparents' house. And every time, because I feasted so heavily, I would have to take a fucking seafood shit on the way home. That's the nastiest shit ever. Dude, it was vile. That's the nastiest shit ever. I could get fog when I was doing it. It smelled like low tide.

It was like an asparagus pee where like you eat asparagus and then you pee half an hour later and you're like how on earth did it get through my system that fast i can smell the asparagus right now that's how it was with the crab where it's like how did this digest so quickly how do i already have slippery high protein shit buttery shit buttery shit and i i was not ever big on the butter I was a fucking Ford assembly line worker when it came to crab fast like maybe one

of every five or six big pieces I would put in the butter that was just to lubricate your mouth so it wouldn't overheat though yeah that's cause I was like about to choke got it lubricate get it back down that was my habit do that thing like like Yamakashi or whatever the hot dog eating champion you're like

guzzling the glasses of water like bun floating and you got those lot those red lobster biscuits you're dipping in those and in the water inexplicably i don't understand i don't think anywhere has an all-you-can-eat policy anymore i think that's a thing from the past gone by you know where that oh i just thought of it red lobster and i think they may have ended it this year i think i read something i can't remember exactly the all-you-can-eat shrimp though do you remember that yeah yeah i have taken part in the all-you-can-eat shrimp thing before like and it's exactly what you're talking about but i vomited i vomited after eating way too much shrimp, and it was outside of a... outside of a crystal.

The worst version of White Castle. It's the southern White Castle. Yeah, that's what Crystal Burger is. It's identical. But yeah, me and a Turkish guy got into an eating competition, and the idea was the loser would have to pay for the... Never enter an eating competition with Turk!

and the idea was the loser would have to pay for the... Never enter eating competition with Turk. Aha! I do not know what the Turks sound like. That's actually, swear to God, pretty close. His name was Barack. He had like a lazy eye and rotten teeth, and he had long, flowing, greasy hair, and he thought he looked like Elvis.

He literally went to a woman one time. We were standing there at the door waiting on customers, and to the woman, he looked like elvis um he literally like he literally went to a woman one time we were standing there at the door waiting on customers and to the woman he's like look come on who is more handsome barack or kyle and she's just like are you fucking serious right now bro what is happening what are we talking about like i don't want to talk i don't even want to talk to you you're barack again is that it he was just such a weird dude man i don't know but i was hungry and the the fucking commercial from red lobster came on the tv in the showroom and somehow i challenged barack to it to eating competition and we ate shrimp until they were closing red lobster until the kitchen closed and they refused to bring us more shrimp we were at 90 something shrimp at that point. I had been doing

shrimp scampi, so they're really small. At that point, I asked her, what else do you have in the kitchen? And she said, we just have cake. And Barack starts protesting right away because he has bad teeth and he can't eat sweets. And I'm like, fuck you, bring the cake on. So they bring this huge hunks of chocolate cake that reminded me of Matilda. We kill that. They kick us out, basically. So we each pay for our own part. But I say the competition isn't over. Crystal's across the street, and they're open 24-7.

So we go in there and start pounding Crystal Burgers. And I think I ate nine, and he ate eight, and then he quit. Do you want? Oh, yeah, I won. But I immediately vomited. Oh, here's immediately like vomit oh here's the worst part here's the worst part at some point after they stopped serving shrimp i challenged him to start eating our tails so so we ate a considerable amount of shrimp tails yeah because we had a big pile of them because we were both getting shrimp scampi and you had those crispy little fucking tails there and i was like all right well we eat the tails now

we ate like a handful of tails each before we agreed that was just silly yeah that's retarded that's like those uh your food poisoning stories are making sense now bro yeah tails that's like those people who don't know how to eat sunflower seeds and so they just crunch the entire shell and eat that and are like, oh, it's just as good. It's better. I met someone like that. People do that?

Just admit that you don't know how to crack a sunflower in your mouth and then eat the sunflower and then transition the shells to the other side of your mouth. Wait, is that what you do? If I'm doing something where I can't immediately spit it i put like a handful of my mouth and then i like on one side i crack them and then eat the kernel or i'll save the kernel in my little like a little squirrel pocket and like save up like 10 kernels and then i move the shells to the other side of my mouth and then if i need

to spit all the shells out i just spit those but if i'm like sitting watching tv eating sunflower seeds after everyone no of course not that's absurd wait you eat what do you do with the you spit the shell oh you don't know you finish your diet pepsi and then you just spit it in the bottle no you spit the part in the middle out and you eat the shell. But the part in the middle is bad for you. It's like the skin of an apple. He's joking. It's like the skin of an apple. Toxic.

The best flavor of David's sunflower seeds is ranch, which I'm not a big ranch guy, but it's unreal. It's fantastic. I'm just here for the salt. Highly recommend. A huge amount of salt. You look at the back of the package and you think this can't be legal. They've given me,

but I love it. It's fantastic. I have, man, I haven't had sunflower seeds in forever. Me neither. I used to eat them as a lifeguard. So to me,

sunflower seeds are only eaten in an environment where you can spit, spit them out. Yeah. I would never consider eating them like indoors. Something. It's like those bars where you can throw the shell on the ground yeah yeah it's a good like i this this happened like probably four years ago or so but i was i like saw online when i was like trying to lose weight it was like a good snack for losing weight are sunflower seeds as long as you make sure that you get them shelled like with the shell on there because it slows down your consumption like a big bag of those sunflower seeds is like 450 calories or something if you eat the entire

thing and but unfortunately what happened was i just became Mozart of eating. I could go through a bag. Like the, the resist to me was not like, Oh, I'm full. Obviously it was like, my mouth is burning from the amount of salt I've had in there. Like you wake up,

it's like you wake up the next morning and you're like, your mouth is still dry from the residue of the salt. Oh man, I'm absolutely by a gas station, getting some ranch sunflower seeds for this weekend. Popcorn was my go-to for that. They make these flavored salts to throw on popcorn. There's a cherry one and a buffalo sauce one. It's just so much sodium, but there's no calories in sodium, so pile it on.

Bags of smart food. Smart pop? I think this happened in your neck of the woods um those uh those uh chiefs fans who were in a backyard and all froze to death together did you see that i did see a little i didn't look like three grown adult men like with no health issues froze to death death in a backyard with their friends upstairs. Were they falling asleep? Yeah, exactly. The obvious thing to me would be that they got drunk and passed out outside

and froze to death. Because it was even colder in KC than St. Louis. I think it was because they went swimming in January. It's because they were so stoked on the wind. Jason Kelsey is awesome. I think we talked about him on PKM. He went into the

skybox, jumped out the window, hung out with the fans, took his shirt off. Is that Taylor's boyfriend? No, that's the other one. Her boyfriend's the Chiefs Kelsey. Oh, I thought you meant our Taylor. I was just joking. I wrote it. Taylor's super gay. He's got lots of boyfriends.

Taylor's unbelievably gay. Can you picture me in the arm candy of Jason Kelsey? Taylor Swift. It's his brother. He's also a cool guy. Yeah, didn't he do that in Buffalo? When he had the shirt off and the beer and all that?

This one was in... It was in Buffalo. I'm sorry. It was all snowy and everything. Super cold. Buffalo's always freezing. The real news, though, is the Taylor Swift AI porn. Oh, I saw it. I heard about that.

It looked pretty good, I thought. We're truly living in the future. I saw it. I saw it. I was like, okay. She was all in Kansas City paint on her, the ones I saw. That's what they, okay. I'm here for it. She was all in the Kansas City paint on her, the ones I saw. That's what they're making a big deal of?

That looks so fake. They made it sound, the articles, and there's tons of them. She doesn't have nipples. There's tons of them. Made it sound, oh, new AI technology creates Taylor Swift nudes that she's furious with and is demanding this and that and legal action is

pending. I was like, oh my god, somebody made a porno. nudes that she's furious with and is demanding this and that and legal action is pending and i was like oh my god somebody made a porno and like because i've seen ai that's taylor swift like enjoying herself in video form on a on a porn star's body they've they've stuck her they took a recording of her or they're using ai to make real footage of her um like like they make it seem like she's getting fucked and in a porno. This was just a picture of a woman's bare ass in body paint. It's clearly AI

in that it's one of those AI-generated images, which means it looks terrible. I couldn't believe people gave us that. I thought it was pretty flattering. I mean, it's a cartoon of a woman, and it's not a well-done cartoon. I thought it was absurd that anybody cared.

Like, there's real AI porn. It wasn't my easiest wank, but I succeeded. I wanted the win. I don't know. Some of them are pretty nice. Yeah. Dude, Team Woody on this one. I don't think her

You didn't see it and think for a second like, okay. It looked like you copy pasted her head on with Microsoft Paint. It didn't look like a real human being. Wow. You look at women's faces when you're looking at porn and you're fucking queer.

Yeah. being wow you look at women's faces when you're looking at porn fucking queer yeah i'm coming off pretty gay right now ai is moving so quickly bro it's scary though like in a few years seriously it's gonna be so good okay well i didn't see these you didn't see these did did he? Okay, well, these are somewhat better. The one I saw was terrible. No, the ones that we're looking at are high-quality A-Rise. A lot of them are funny because it's just her getting groped by Chiefs fans. Just like a Chiefs fan, like a big fat guy. Nice titty grab. Yeah, they're pretty good.

Oh, here's one. She has a thing for Oscar the Grouch. Does she? She's trashy. I mean, I'm looking at a couple pictures here. Oh, I see what you did there. Well done. That's a fucking retarded joke. Oh, wait. What did Taylor do? I said it was trashy that she was in the oscar

oh my god oh goodness some of these cartoony ones are wild like this is just they're not animated though right they're just like still icing on her face which is supposed to become in a wedding dress that I assume a Chiefs game. But she's getting banged by Mr. Krabs? Is she? Mr. Krabs? Wait, from SpongeBob? SpongeBoy

me Bob! I be fucking Taylor Swift! That's Mr. Krabs, isn't it? Go to the middle link. Let me see. Oh, I haven't seen the middle one yet. Second link for Mr. Krabs? Doesn't it go to the middle link? Let me see. I haven't seen the middle one yet. Second link for Mr. Krabs. They're all from 1009. I don't know. The one that ends with

the shit, they all end the same. Jesus Christ. I only see Oscar, bro. I'll relink it. I see Mr. Krabs now. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta have a sharp eye for this kind of content. She's saying, I'm Mr. Krabs now. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You got to have a sharp eye for this kind of content.

Yeah. She's saying I'm ready. Like SpongeBob. Oh, okay. I see him now. Yeah. And they're actually in a big. Aren't they in a pile of garbage? Those Krabby Patties are worth it, though.

Don't keep me trying to use her pussy to get me Krabby Pattyies are worth it though She be trying to use her pussy To get me Krabby Patty recipe Spongebob I wonder how she feels about this Spongebob did you hear Mr. Krabs Is fucking Taylor Swift She already said she's very upset She's suing

I'm waiting for the plankting episode She aligns with the chum bucket. There you go. Dude, these guys didn't watch SpongeBob? Apparently not. I'm the only one whose age lined up enough for me to enjoy the first two seasons of SpongeBob.

It was awesome watching it with my kids, bro. It's a great show. They had some hidden adult jokes in there that were awesome. Yeah. Yeah, they did. It was...

Smudge Rob was genuinely funny. Very funny. The pirate guy was hilarious in his skits. I loved that. Yeah. They had the IRL live action actor. Yeah. And he had a party.

Yeah. And the one mermaid and the floatable device and stuff. I loved that show show that was so good did you see uh in very real like going to stick news uh a missouri state senator or whoever introduced legislation to re-allow dueling between senators or house members they said like yeah it was like if there is an issue between you and a fellow member that is irreconcilable and cannot be handled through x y and z you know you are allowed to challenge them to do and it said on the like thing it was like two consenting adults yeah two consenting adults at high noon.

High noon, the coolest time to fight to the death. And so I'm hoping it takes off. I'd love to see, I guess, Josh Hawley. He's a national senator guy, but our state senators. I'd like to see a little bit of shooting, a little rustle and tussle between our politicians. Is Josh Hawley from Missouri? Josh Hawley's Missouri, yeah, yeah. Did you see the incident when the

I can't remember who it was, forgive me, but there's one guy calling out another and he said, hey, you want to take this outside? And they're in the Senate. It wasn't the Washington Senate. I think it was House of Rep. And I think it was Washington, but I'm not positive now that you say it.

And he's saying, oh, you're always talking this and that. And, you know, why don't you put your money in the pocket or whatever. Apparently they had talked some smack on Twitter, maybe back and forth. And the reporter dude basically accepted his challenge to fight. And he's like, hey, you said anywhere, anytime. Well, this is a place and this is a time. Let's do it. And if I i recall the politician

would have easily won that fight like he had some they they both looked i remember like they could fight though they both looked like sturdy i think the politician was like he's either trained in mma or an ex-military guy where he had some skills i think it was going to be really lopsided. Yeah, but it was like, wow. Like they're going to go straight Chinese political theater. Usually I laugh at the brawls I see in different Asian governments.

And now we're there. Here in America. Best country. It's kind of funny. Did you see the Trump AI pictures? Oh, I don't know. It's just liberal porn. I gave it to Zach,

the link. You can show it to everybody. But basically the concept is he loses the election and gets a job at Starbucks to pay off. Oh, okay, okay. I'm really glad that's all it was. I was scared. Yeah, yeah. He has like a make coffee great again hat on.

Mind you. Reddit is so gay. I wouldn't mind seeing some Melania content. Yeah. Can you get to the third one? Because he has my favorite hat on. There, make coffee great again. He would 1000% start a coffee company

and sell that hat. As long as it's produced in china as long as he he would uh actually i could see his move being like it's an american grown it's the best coffee fantastic coffee and it would just be priced absurdly we have to price it this way it's american coffee people and then it would turn out that it wasn't. Obviously, Trump can't do this. But if I had a business, I'd try to avoid politics. I feel like all you do is lose half your customers. You do.

Yeah, you're right. That's 100% right. They say go woke, go broke. Dude, the opposite is true too. You go MAGA, you'll lose half your customers also. Unless you're in Wyoming. I don't think there's ever been a multinational corporation that went maga though the home depot what they do oh huge campaign donations um hobby lobby comes to mind too they're the ones who like got rid of birth oh well i mean like that's not really going

maga though no it's just going like going like i'm thinking of it like analogous to going woke like when i hear like going woke for a corporation it's like them overtly playing into that and like having like pr people discuss on it like i don't think i've ever seen a multinational powerful corporation have like a pr movement that's like we're maga we're maga people now i kind of agree i'm trying to think of companies that do align them not not a big company it would just be right there's little ones like black rifle coffee clearly markets to conservatives yeah but they still haven't said that like they wouldn't they've never said that outright

and that's only a big company amongst small companies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You specifically said multinational. I wasn't trying to counter it with that. Big multinational company that's outrightly conservative. They need to keep that ESG square. It's almost non-political, but like Chick-fil-A kind of sort of. My pillow, yeah. Even like the Chick-fil-a thing the more i looked into it was like oh they don't like they donated to charities who and the charity's

position was pro-life yeah it's like yeah they're not donating to fucking attack abortion clinics or something like they're donating because they're like it's murder or they don't even say it's murder they the people they're donating to do which of course if you're donating to a christian group like they're gonna think abortion is murder because that's yeah and they're generally religious people regardless of religion believe that about abortion i wonder if chick-fil-a open on sundays yet no no i wonder if there's any kind of business rationale to that i mean like the uh the esg scores all that stuff they need i don't know what that is like the uh the equity scores that that companies like blackrock who are large shareholders in a lot of these organizations

they basically will be like hey you have to hire x amount of non-white people you have to have these positions and if you have these hire X amount of non-white people. You have to have these positions. And if you have these positions and have this composition, this racial or sexual composition in your workforce, you will get more favorable business loans from us. And so a lot of these companies are playing into that and being like, okay, we'll be woke now. I've never heard of that. Okay. Yeah, it's interesting. Look up how Larry Fink at BlackRock handles the

DEI scores. That's what it is. Not ESG. Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion scores. Oh, that I've heard of. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I'm out of my depth on this. I'm not even going to get into it. I got in trouble last time. You got in trouble?

No, we were talking about racial stuff on the show and I'm not even going to get into it. I got in trouble last time. You got in trouble? Huh? You got in trouble? We were talking about racial stuff on the show, and I upset a whole bunch of fans and stuff. I don't want to... What? Our fans got upset? That doesn't sound right. Never. That's up skinned.

Oh, you know what we should talk about? Sean Strickland. I don't think... I think that... From the outside looking in did i saw so many people on the show i saw a lot of people talking about like this is bullshit the fix is in tell me the tell me what you think woody and kyle i'm assuming woody so when i watched the fight i thought strickland won okay um But when I see the experts talk about it, the overwhelming position is it was so close.

Nobody can be wrong on this. Like no matter what you think, it was such a pick them that it could have gone either way. It was so 50, 50 amongst everybody though. You know what I mean? It's like exactly what you said. There's no outlying

winner that's easy to choose. Yeah. When I watched the fight... I don't like Sean Strickland's fighting style. He shells up, so he's got really good defense. And he just works his jab. And he kind of walks backwards a lot, or at least against DDP he did.

And it's like he just sort of pillow hands point fights his way to victory. I thought he succeeded in that. Zach, will you show us a picture of DDP after the fight? Let's see what old pillow hands did to him. Zach, I think he bumped his eye on the line. I love your guys' UFC arguments. Fun to watch people

passionately argue about something you have no knowledge of. By the way, if you're looking up, show us Sean Strickland's fight finishing record. He hasn't finished a fight since 2016 or something. Is that his style, though? He really does just

jab. He's a boring point fighter, right? He's trying to get... That is true. The truth is his jab is pretty stiff. It hurts people. Have you guys been to a fight? They have. Unfortunately, it's a terrible people. Have you guys been to a fight? They have. Unfortunately, it's a terrible experience. If you're not literally...

If you don't have Donald Trump tickets, then it's not worth going. Dude, Wolf is Canadian. He's been to a thousand hockey games. He's not going to be entertained. That's light work. Did you have more to say, Woody? I guess... Where was I headed on that? I don't know.

I was going to talk about the Patreon experience I thought it was pretty cool Jackie Kyle and I hung out with the Patreons and watched the fight streaming together live and it was a good time I was at a friend's birthday party I would have gone oh that's the second one Jackie and I went to

I thought I thought that um that uh ddp won uh i thought that um it the oh my god yeah um sean did way more damage but i thought that they were going to score ddp's takedowns which weren't takedowns and so knowing that i, I begrudgingly just knew that DDP was going to get the decision. His takedowns to me were completely ineffective and made him look worse than they made him look. It wasn't about him doing something. It was more about Sean escaping them because every single time,

Sean got right back up and then got away from him and then started hitting him again. I thought by the way that I would score a fight, I thought Sean would have won, but I knew that they were going to score those takedowns. I would give Sean, without looking at that, I'd give him the first, second, and fifth. Does the takedown count?

Typically, no. It's still a good look, but the main thing for judging a fight is damage. And Strickland, I know Kyle said that Strickland did more damage, but I didn't see it like that. Strickland's fucking face was so bloody he couldn't see anymore. The stitches had to go into the muscle. He tore his fucking face apart with a punch.

It wasn't a headbutt. Kyle, set me straight kyle well i feel like what woody said is an argument for sean not an argument for ddp because sean fought with blood in his eye for for two or three rounds and he won he definitely won one of those rounds everybody gave him the fifth i think um and the the problem is because it could-50, I can see both sides of it. I thought DDP won based on how fights are scored. And I love Sean, but they're not going to do a rematch. Even though Dana is there, like, yeah, I think Sean won.

They will not do the rematch because they don't like Sean and they don't like him as a champion. They'll shuffle him down and it's going, they're going to want to get Izzy back in there. Izzy makes them money. Izzy cuts promos. They want Izzy versus DDP. That, that will be the next fight. I'll, I'll, I'm more confident in that than I am that Donald Trump's going to be the next president. I'm pretty damn confident of that. So I, I want Izzy DDP to be the next fight. They've got Smoke. It should be a really good fight. I think Izzy

wins, but I don't know. I think they do like Sean as a champ. I think Sean just broke the Canadian gate record, sold more tickets or more money than GSP ever did. They don't care about that. ESPN's breathing down their neck.

Okay, yeah. So I don't know what the pay-per-view numbers are. I don't know if they release them anymore. They don't care about that. ESPN's breathing down their neck. Okay. Yeah. So I don't know what the pay-per-view numbers are. I don't know if they release them anymore. They don't care about that either. But Sean's YouTube numbers are very good. Sean was a wildly interesting champ, except for in the ring. Outside the ring, Sean's wildly interesting. In the ring, he just point fights. I thought that was a great fight. I don't know why you didn't like that fight. It was two opposing fighting styles. It was very interesting, and they were constantly at action. DDP has this lunging style that's very sloppy,

and Izzy's going to destroy him. Izzy's going to destroy him. Izzy's going to time that, one of those ridiculous big lunging overhand rights, and do some shit that they slow down. And he'll be like Neo in the Matrix, watching that shit go past him, and then coming up with some fucking left upper hook

and just sending DDP to another realm. Like, that's what's going to happen when they fight. I would bet the house on Izzy to destroy DDP. And then, and what they should do then is... Izzy has the kind of power, but he will time it. I feel like there's a rock, paper, scissors thing going on where DDP can beat Strickland, Strickland can beat

Izzy, and Izzy can beat DDP. And everybody's scared of Alex Pereira and hoping that he can come back. I don't think he can make weight. I don't think he's motivated to make weight um although if izzy takes that belt then he will be that's the one i don't want to see he's like i'm not a 170 or 185 or until until is he's a champion at 185 and then i go on a diet is he talking too

much shit now he's got perera bullying him his whole life Pereira might just bully the whole fucking UFC roster um I'm interested to see him at any weight class that that guy can make to see him fight Jon Jones uh well that's never gonna happen um Jon's got gonna do one more fight they will dig up fucking Stipe Miocic who hasn't fought in or hasn't won in like 1,215 days or something it's gonna be four full years. The next time that Steve, when John Jones and Steve Amy Ochoa fight for the belt, it will have been four years since Steve pay want to fight.

Yeah. Wowzers like, yeah. And that's what John Jones fights again. I don't know how bad his injury. Oh, he's you can't hurt that man bad enough not to come back and fight the ghost of Steve Amy Ochoa to nail down his legacy forever is the greatest of all time and tom aspen walk and

eat shit because because dana's dana knows the fucking score too dana does not want to damage the legacy of his goat any more than his goat wants his legacy damage so any sort of dream fights are bringing up some killer who's fucking 28 30 years old fuck you this is like the end of mayweather's career it's like i'll fight a mma guy or a youtuber we're gonna we're gonna solidify and and steepay i look bless his heart but it's gonna be four fucking years since that old white gentleman has uh has had a fight uh that he won uh and john jones is gonna be better than jones he doesn't do striking better he doesn't do wrestling better where does he win he doesn't even talk trash better like it i like john jones

in that fight also he's less ring rust they both have have some, but Jon Jones is less. Yeah, I like Jones all around. But right now, I'm just a little frustrated with the whole sport. I feel like they kowtow to the money in the Middle East too much. the money in the Middle East too much, I think. And then they've also got guys like Kamzat who are terrorist adjacent enough that they literally can't get visas in the United States. So you can own, and you're not going to put Kamzat, I guess, on like maybe the France card,

whatever the fuck, you know, where like Gagne is your only Frenchman. So you're going to do him in Abu Dhabi or in Yaz. I want to see Strickland fight Kamzat. That's the thing. Why would they do that? You said the other day it made no sense. Wait. Strickland Kamzat Kamzat can barely make 170

I think. And he wants to go to 185 and take on Strickland. So why would you let him fight? Alright, so think about it. He's not going to walk straight into a title fight, but he's going to fight a top contender. He's jammed at 170. Am I wrong? Maybe I am wrong.

This is wild stuff. No, he's not the champ. No. He's the champ in my mind. I'm still right. No, he's not the champ. Leon Edwards is the champ of 170 pounds. Okay, you're totally right.

Kamzat is an up-and-comer who fights once every couple years. How long has it been since he even fought, and who did he fight? I bet he fought somebody at a different weight. He fought Usman very recently, obviously. A guy with blown-out knees at the end of his career at a different weight class. He fought a 175-pounder at 185 pounds, and he says, hey, now I fight the champion at 185, right? Since I beat up a small guy.

Strickland's not the champ. He's always asking for that. He's not afraid of anyone. Strickland was the champ last week is what I'm saying. How far has Strickland's fallen that he has to fight this guy who's brand new to the division? I hate Kamzat. Kamzat's

that guy who's only going to be fighting, like I said, overseas in Saudi Arabia or in Abu Dhabi or whatever the fuck. Because he is a fucking terrorist adjacent piece of shit. He was the one up there talking about killing Jews in his fucking post-press conference. He's the one screaming Allahu Akbar on 9-11. Literally on 9-11. I didn't know about that one. I watched it happen.

I'm not stashing stories. I watched this cocksucker. He's a piece of shit, Woody. I didn't mean to say you're wrong. I was saying that. I know. I'm just being emphatic for comedic effect. He meant to say you're wrong.

No, no. The reason I want to see Kamsat fight Strickland is Strickland is a point fighter, but he's really good striking and defensive striking. And his defensive grappling's really good striking and defensive striking and his defensive grappling is really good right the wrestlers like ddp that take him down hold him down for like four seconds and he's back up again yeah i want to see one of these freaking kamzat khabib clones who maybe can hold i want to see if they can hold strickland down because so far no one else can. Robert Whitaker, someone who lost to the DDPs last time out,

and I think he mutilates Kamzat. I think Kamzat has the worst day of his life when someone who's actually not a weight bully and actually talented at more than one facet of the game. Remember when he came out and it was the Blackfighter that

they fucking sacrificed to him a couple cards ago when he came out and it was the black fighter that they fucking sacrificed to him a couple cards ago when he missed weight by eight pounds you know they had that card they had that crazy card where they were going to make kamzat fight nate diaz for some reason a 155 pounder at 170 for nate's last fight as like a fuck you fight. But then comes out and misses weight by eight solid pounds. And they have him fight like Kevin Holland, maybe. And he malls Kevin Holland in under a minute. And you look at Kevin Holland's face afterwards.

Dude has scratched his face like a kitty cat. Marvin Vittori. Could it be? No, no. Um, that's a guy. Jared cannon here.

No. Um, it was, um, such Italian guy. Jared Cannoneer? No. It was... This is Kamzat Chemaev. Oh, I was talking about Whitaker. No. Yeah, I'm talking about Kamzat being a piece of shit. Just always a piece of shit. And most of his wins being over people who were in the wrong fucking division.

Just a weight bully who's beating... That's how I feel about Jon Jones a little bit. All those guys were light heavyweights, though, right? Like, all right, Chael wasn't, but Machado wasn't. Who the fuck else did he beat? Vitor from 185. I forget. The list is pretty long.

Like, Jon Jones has like a bunch of 185ers on his record. He's a charismatic villain, though. One you can enjoy and get behind is evil. Kamzat Shemayev is just a... I hate him so fucking much. I hate him so fucking much. I hate all those goddamn neckbeard Russian Muslims, though, if I'm being honest. I hate every fucking one of them.

I know. Not because they have neckbeards, not because they're Russian, and not because they're Muslim. Because of all three of those things combined are this soup of hatred that I create. I can't fucking stand it. I can't fucking stand their fucking bullshit, nationalistic, fucking woman-hating, gay-hating, fucking white people-hating, Western-hating, piece-of-shit, warrior-monk mentality. Fucking keep your money tight. Don't spend any money. And always salute fucking Katerov, our fucking warlord.

Calling them warrior-monks is the coolest way. I know, right? They train harder than anyone else on the planet. They don't blow their money. Here's the best part, Taylor. They've got this pay pig, the best part, Taylor, they go to the, they've got this pay pig, like warlord that, that pay that pays their way.

So they don't have to work real jobs ever. And, and then they have to go to that guy's house though, and let his children beat them up on Instagram. So this, this comes out to my guy. Who's like a real bad-ass. He has to go and spar with a 15 year old chubby kid and let the kid beat him up.

And they take pictures of him getting punched and roughed up and put it on instagram letting letting a child beat you in a sport that you're a professional in is not that's not what that's not how they frame it though i don't think it's the same as that it's always framed as like i was imagining like gretzky letting a fucking nine-year-old skate past him you think gretzky's really gonna defend that hit him with like we all saw diego sanchez lose to that guy with down syndrome right you're comparing you're comparing making for making nice with a terrorist to making a kid with down syndrome happy like i'm making a wish it's like make a wish but terrorism in either case you're taking someone with a mental disorder and making them happy what's the difference one 100 percent woody's 100 in the right 100 wrong right woody's never been more right and it hurts you

and as much as i want to like justin gaethje he went over to that fucking warlord and sucked his dick too uh he's over there like shooting rpgs in that guy's backyard and shit and they called him out on he's like i never met katarov i just was flown to his estate to play with his toy shoot his weapons and pose for photos on instagram never did i did i meet him or have anything to do with him it's like okay gaethje just admit you admit your fucking lapdog to a fucking warlord overseas in russia because he gave you enough money who cares what's his i do why darauf catara call me i'll let your son kick my ass it's cool see i have i have a i have a random ufc story um i don't know if you saw the picture earlier but many years ago i was in vegas hosting a uh paintball game and it was a charity for randy

couture which was very cool and hold on i don't think you can see that but he actually hooked that up for me oh nice that's really cool he ruined it though huh oh it's a piece of paper though it's a no maybe i understand yeah he's maybe he ruined your goggles it's so hard to see out of those you see all the goggles behind me bro but yeah now what's he gonna do but i was there and uh it was really cool i'm i'm not a ufc guy i haven't seen many of the fights i know the i know the basics and that you and some of the more famous guys and stuff. But he invited me to a fight after. I don't think it was an official fight fight.

I think it was like one of those fights where they worked their way up the ladder to get into the real thing, right? And they had a lot of future prospects there and everything. So he said, hey, yeah, Wolf, come to the fight. Bring your pals, yada, yada, yada. It was really cool because I'm there and I'm trying to learn. I was in great shape. People actually thought I was one of the upcoming fighters, which was

kind of cool. People asked me for my autograph and stuff, which is cool. I'm there and he got me. I was right at the ring, right beside the ring. It was really cool. Never seen it happen before. And this guy sits down to me and, you know, I was asking questions. Do you know much about this stuff? And he goes, oh, yeah, I know a little bit and stuff like that. And we were talking about it. And I was told him I did, you know, my martial arts thing back in the day and stuff like that.

And so we're leaving the fight and they go, holy shit, I can't believe you're talking to him. And I go, who? And I go, you don't know who you're sitting beside, bro. I go, no,

should I like, was he important? Did I embarrass myself? And I was worried and everything. He goes, bro, that's Dana white. That's the guy who started all this stuff.

That's why you were able to have a good conversation with him because you, you didn't know. Cause you didn't say, Oh my God, Dana. Oh my God. Can I hold you up? Yeah. Yeah. So it's probably been on the other side of that where like someone knows you knows a bunch about you and all of a sudden the conversation is like

hey wolf i saw you here can i get a in real life replay of this thing you've said or done before yeah yeah on the other you're like this isn't normal to me. It's a blessing, though. But, like, that was, you know, he seemed like a cooler guy at the time and everything. But, you know, I don't agree with all his politics, but, hey, he's done a lot. I agree with all his politics, not even knowing them. Taylor, did you see? I'm sure saying that you saw his interview with the Canadian interviewer the other day who asked him. I saw it. He says, Dana, you you give your fighters quite a long leash when it comes to a certain issue.

Sean Strickland being one of these. Wait a minute. What? I'll give anybody a leash. A leash. What are you talking about? Freedom of speech, buddy. You got any other.

Yeah. You got any other questions? The guy said, well i was gonna ask you about that but yeah it was it was a great soundbite moment where we're just america fuck yeah like i like that i like that pro pro freedom of speech guy i'm in i i well you know i do like that about dana that that that is one of his shining he said it time and time again that like i have no control about what these people say.

This is the fight business. You think your feelings hurt is bad? What do you see what they do to each other Saturday night? It's just like, oh, fucking perfect, dude. Nailed it. Kyle's right. He's really consistent on free speech in that regard. He definitely hates,

hates, hates it when fighters get in fights outside the octagon. That he hates. He's like, these people think this... Oh, yeah. He projects hatred about that. Okay. For example, a guy won the Ultimate Fighter, and then he got into a fight

with a valet driver in Vegas, and he's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? People think this is human cockfighting. People think that you guys are feral animals and then you prove them right. Do you know how hard I worked to make this legal? Do you know how hard I worked to make this

popular? And you're trying to ruin everything by beating up a valet driver? He's like, you're not even fucking famous yet. Wait till you get rich and famous. You'll be ruined. Guy you get rich and famous you'll be ruined guy never got rich and famous he got kicked out of the ufc yeah that he hates no that he absolutely hates you're 100 right but what i think he's he's always happy to to like utilize and promote is you know connor threw that dolly but like everything else aside like let's just if it

had just been khabib in there alone and oh in the bus yeah yeah yeah uh but but there were i don't think he liked rose getting glass in her eye or whatever happened yeah it rose got emotionally traumatized yeah it bothers somebody off roses and then maybe it was ray borg or somebody like that i don't recall connor gave him a check connor wrote him a check later. I remember. The guy wears glasses. I remember that about him. He's a white guy with brown hair. Yeah, Michael

Chiesa. Chiesa. Chiesa, yeah. That guy got some glass in his fucking eyes and it's like, god damn it. I don't like that as a Connor fan. It's like, people are literally catching strays, Connor you couldn't but on the other hand dana dana immediately he's i remember the he went on live right afterwards and he's like in a back room

somewhere you know and he's just like ah this is awful what's happened blah blah blah you know this is we don't like this did a great job but then like three months later there that video is in the promotional footage like set to music and ron perlman is narrating the shit i wonder i'd love to say right when life gives you lemons there's no bad press bro i'd love to get dana like with some true serum and find out how he really feels because what he tells us is he hates this and but his actions say like you know he's not afraid to sell it but it's there he's going to what not use it he's going to only take the downside and not capitalize on what could be a good side i have had drama where like my back and forth made money like my videos were getting

i don't know 150 000 views each and then suddenly they're getting a quarter million view each but i'm like hurting inside like this is stressing me out i didn't i was worse back in the day you know i really took like emotional damage from this thing and people are like what he doesn't care he made an extra two grand off this it's like i would pay two grand to have just avoided all this yeah um i wonder where data falls on that spectrum because you know yeah he made money but would he also wish that event didn't happen i don't know i think i think he's ruthless at the core um you know because he came from humble beginnings having to scrap and and he built this thing i mean he clawed his way was he poor uh he

not poor but he was a working guy you know he did like uh zumba like ladies like aerobics classes and shit like that like wow borderline martial arts you know what i mean like like a high bow so he was a boxer but not a good one like he he aspired i mean professionally though like like he had his zumba classes or. He had dreams of being a pro boxer. But then he realized pretty early on that he wasn't going to be that guy. So he was doing boxer-sized classes before he got into fight promoting. And then he's got this big lie about being ran out of Boston by... Oh, is that a lie?

I was a mob. I mean, come on. Well, it's not just a mob boss. The Boxing Federation? What's his name? Whitey Bulger chased him out. Johnny Depp played Whitey Bulger in the movie. If you haven't seen the movie, yeah. Johnny Depp has these crazy contacts.

He looks maniacal. It's like a monster. That movie was dark, bro. That's a dark movie. I think he's got a Mini-14 or something shooting it from the hip. Ping, ping, ping. It's a cool movie.

They just caught that guy maybe five years ago. He was old as shit. They had the whole sting on camera. He's an old guy now, retired, coming out of an elevator and they surround him with FBI and shit. It's fuck. And then he got killed of an elevator, and they surround him with FBI and shit. He's like, fuck. And then he got killed in prison.

I think they stabbed him up. They kind of had it coming. I'm going to say. A lot of those gangsters. He murdered a lot of people. He kind of had it coming, bro. Yeah, he murdered a lot of people. But, yeah, I don't know.

I'm feeling kind of down on the UFC and just sports in general lately. I have torn off baseball. I mean business. I won't watch a single game. I'll never buy another piece of merch again. Fuck you, Braves. Win two in a row, and then I'll come back. Two, not one.

Two in a row. You know they're favoring it this year to win again. Fuck you. No way they do. No way they have. No. Fuck you. The Dodgers will knock them out.

The Dodgers. Absolutely the Dodgers will knock them out. In a terrifying fashion, too. It'll be embarrassing when they do it. The Cardinals will be back to being great before I know it. All I have is the Bulldogs. And we got fucked this year. It's been sad.

It's been sad. All my UFC champions got knocked the fuck out. All of them, Taylor. All of them? All of them. Strickland lost by decision. I don't think Jon Jones is a... They by decision. I don't think John Jones is a... I don't think John Jones

is an active fighter anymore, so that doesn't bode well for you, right? He absolutely is an active fighter. He's the heavyweight champion of the fucking world. What I would want to see from Dana... He's the heavyweight champion. What I'd want to see from Dana is to see him crack open the books to see what he could really afford to pay fighters

for purse. You know what? It's funny. On one hand, I want the him crack open the books to see what he could really afford to pay fighters for like oh for purse you know what i'm it's funny on one hand i want the fighters to be rich right we all want that it's easy for me to give someone else's money to a fighter that i like all right cool the downside is as soon as you give these fighters money they stop fighting and i hate that i like them hungry i like them broke. People say, oh, we should have two organizations, UFC and make it Bellator. That way they have to compete. And whoever pays more will get the better fighters. I'm like, fuck no. I want them to fight each other. Back when there was pride in UFC and you were like, oh, I wonder how

freaking Matt Hughes would do over in pride. We'll never know. It's not going to happen because there are two organizations. The best teams didn't play each other. That sucks. When you can make more money fighting Jake Paul than in the actual UFC, that's kind of pathetic, bro. I disagree. I think that's a product of a perfect storm of social media content, and that can't be compared

to what's going on in the UFC. But didn't Strickland just have a huge rant about that? Everybody wants a raise. I don't know what's true. Look, they could absolutely afford to pay them more. They don't fight enough as it is. Fight three times a year and then come back for a raise.

That's what I would say. These people fight once a fucking year. A lot of them fight once every two fucking years. The champion at 155 pounds, when does he fight? Okay, Ramadan's coming up again, isn't it? I guess we'll put off the first half of this year, eh? Maybe you'll fight next December. Maybe.

But do you rate it on how many times they fight or how much money the actual fight how much money the actual fight is making i don't i think they're independent i want to a year whether you're doing well or bad like like two should be i think at least two if you sell a million pay-per-view and fight once a year you're worth this much if you sell three quarters of a million and fight once a year, you're worth this much. If you sell three quarters of a million and fight twice a year, maybe you're worth just as much. What Dana would say is everybody's got a contract.

They signed it. In this case, I'm talking about champs. I'm talking about the title. I don't think they need more money. I think Dana White needs more money. That man likes to play blackjack. I was making strong points. Are you likes to play blackjack. But I don't see what Sean Strickland got.

I was making strong points. Are you going to get another dirt bike, Sean? You're good. Sean Strickland's already got his fucking Tesla. He's already living high. He's changed his whole life. He's in silk sheets now. He has all these videos.

Like, look at my dumpy apartment and my shitty car. None of that. That was a year ago. I know. It was one year ago. Now all that shit's been changed. He's not the same guy. None of that. That was a year ago. I know. It was one year ago. Now all that shit's been changed. He's not the same guy. Even when you see real

boxers, and I'm not talking about the YouTuber stuff, but real boxers, their purses are still way up there, right? At the top. So the UFC card, I think it's better to be a middle of the road UFC fighter than a middle of the road boxer. Because in boxing, all the money's at the top of the card

whereas in the UFC it's spread out a little bit more but the top of the card is way better than the UFC yeah and nobody watches the boxing card anyway like I can't imagine watching an up-and-coming boxer fight another up-and-coming boxer. But in the UFC, it's like, these dudes are hungry. Everything's an event. They're getting paid $6,000 to show and $6,000 to win and shit like that. Oh my god. They're going to lose money if they don't win this

fight. They're going to owe money. Is that low? At the bottom, it is. It's not that low, bro. No way. If they have a contract, is it $-15 or is it 10-10? It's one of those. I don't think 10-10 happens anymore. It might start at 12-12.

How do you live and train? You don't. They work a job. You cannot live and train. Here's the thing. You have tons of costs. Just eating as a professional athlete is very is going to be very expensive but then getting the having coaches and nutritionists

and all the peripheral people around you that if you want a good one you got to pay them and you know you know what that's fucked up because you know why that's old school record deal ripoff you know what i'm saying like it's like it's like when you know tlc and new edition and all those guys were you know they're all broke because they you know they all pay into the label and new edition it totally is they could sell records like a champion whereas these guys making 12.5 to show and 12.5 to win nobody's no one bought that ticket for them they're getting built don't care don't care about them at all and you can replace them so easily but that is that good or bad it's good

for the for the consumer and that's all it's horrible for the fighter though oh well i mean most of these guys are destroying their bodies for pennies. This is how it starts. Just for a chance, right? Your only talent is fighting, right? And you don't have a nutritionist and a coach and all that stuff. You belong to a gym, right? And you're just kind of in a system, whatever.

You're fighting with other people who these coaches are helping. All right. You're new, so you fight three times this year. And you're good. So you're making $24,000 a fight. You made $75,000 that year. And now you get your new contract where that 75 is going to triple if you do it again.

And it's like, you know, 75 grand for a pay in your dues when you're a new fighter, it's not the worst deal. Is that what it is? It's like 24. And then on top of that that you're paying your manager a win yeah how much do you make if you lose that fight half that it's it's 12 when we say 12 12 we

mean to show is the first number and to win is the second oh so obviously you get them both if you show up and win the oh yeah well that's it that's a bad deal if you're not a great fighter you get your ass to take a pay cut, yeah. It's like the worst paying sport next to women's soccer, I guess. Yeah. Women's soccer players make more than that. Like the Olympic team? Probably.

It depends how you factor it. I think the way you want to look at it is percent of total revenue or whatever that's paid out to the athletes per capita or whatever. And in that formula, yeah, it looks bad. of total revenue or whatever that's paid out to the athletes per capita or whatever. In that formula, yeah, it looks bad. They're making a hand over fist kind of money. Again, they made seven... They used

Canadian dollars, so I got confused. It's like six and a half, seven million US dollars was the take from the attendance, just the seats sold in the arena in Canada. That doesn't include the pay-per-view. Yeah, that doesn't include the pay-per-view.

We don't know if it did $250,000. I don't have the foggiest idea what the expenses are. I don't either, but it can't be that high. I knew it was $5 million to get the stadium that night.

Nah. It sounds high. He's making money, man. He's making money. I don't doubt he's making money. We're on the same team there. His gambling is hilarious. Have you heard him talk about how he plays blackjack, his system?

No. He's like, it's not. They asked him, you've been banned from a lot of casinos. It's like, it's not that I've been banned. He's like, they just they asked him is that you've been banned from a lot of casinos It's like not that I've been banned He's like they just don't like how I gamble so I can go to this place this place in this place They're the only places that'll do He wants to play like many thousands of dollars per hand. He wants to play $20,000 and blackjack or something like that Yeah, but he'll sit down and play three. He's like I'll sit down and play three hands and if i win i get up and fucking go home yeah yeah he's like i walked away with ninety thousand

dollars in five minutes they hate that i did that when i was when i was in vegas i went to the roulette table put down a whole bunch of you know different numbers and i hit and i put down like a hundred dollars i came up with like 400 and okay i'm done and i just walked away and they're like almost mad at me looking at me like that's it bro i'm up like yeah of course they're mad like their whole business model is keep you in there as long as possible because the longer you're in there the higher the likelihood that you leave with less yeah yeah that's crazy and i have to go i'm gonna be in uh vegas for a paintball game and they're having an awards show which is going to be cool too is it a like a scenario game uh no it's a speedball tournament okay but they're doing a uh award show like the

oscars for paintball players and they're going to be giving out awards for best players. And it's supposed to be a fancy schmancy thing, which is very cool. Yeah, that'll be fun. You're going to put your tryhard hat on so you can be the number one player with the award? Well, that's not my world, but they're going to be giving awards for the Woodsball military style that I do, too, which is very cool. So maybe I might present one or something and, and it's, you know,

it's next level, but yeah, Vegas is a whole different trying to win against the house is impossibility. So if I get something, I'm out. Yeah. I'm glad I'm not very tempted by gambling. Seems like an easy way to get out over your skis and be like,

Oh fuck, I don't have the money for this i'm broke now because i thought the fucking chiefs would win or some shit have you ever gambled taylor i've been i've gone to uh casinos and shit i've it's just like i'm not that into it like i'll sit there gamble like 50 100 away and be like all right well anybody want to do something here's why because you're you're not playing the game you're you're playing the game of gambling when you just sort of like have a little snack i'm there with other people every time like i'm just like like socializing doing imagine this though i'm take if you enjoyed the game before the money came into it then it becomes a whole different thing.

Imagine if it was, if it's age of empires to had a league where you had wager matches, right? Where like, I'd lose my ass. Or you could play like five. There's like, imagine there's like a,

okay, you can play the $1 games or there's the $10 games. And there's the, I've been playing these $50 games. Just listen to me. I know it's a lot, but like, like you could understand how that could get out of hand if you because you start believing in yourself and you're like I got to assist. Then you start studying.

Then you start studying and you're like oh my God if I get a 1% edge how could I lose? I get how you get really into it. Like if and that was a good way to put it. Like if I was into the game prior to money being involved I could totally see it because that would just add a new layer put it. Like if I was into the game prior to money being involved, I could totally see it. Cause that would just add a new layer.

Yeah. Yeah. I would never do age of empires two for money. It's funny because I get blown out by some fucking European guy. That wouldn't, I would, it's funny because I would play like poker, uh,

on my, my, my, um, iPad. Right. And I'd get really good at it. It's just, you know, not for real money and stuff. i'd get really good at it it's just you know not for real money and stuff like i get really good at poker and stuff and then i was going to vegas i was thinking

about playing in vegas and he goes and one of my friends says no don't because vegas is made for suckers like you because there's guys whose full-time jobs is it to play poker and wait for guys to fly in who think they can play poker yeah and that's how they make their money you know what i mean that's true but but that's at a a table that you wouldn't be sitting at anyway it'd be a little bit higher stakes than you'd want to do but there are poker rooms there at like every major casino and i mean there's there's 300 people they're playing and you know they're not all sharks they all think they are we all watch world series of poker seasons one two and three but but you know everybody's there and they know they know how to play nobody's there asking the rules or

anything but to say that there are there's a bunch of like uh phil hellmuth's out there in the crowd that's not quite the case uh but if you step up the higher the stakes go then you run into you know the real players but nobody's sitting down there at the like there's stakes for everybody's got a couple hundred dollars i usually play um like a 500 buy-in and like two and five dollar blinds and stuff like that you know like nothing crazy 510 gets out of hand real fast i don't want to play 510 that's too much money see i was i was there playing blackjack once and um i there's this lady getting real there's this black lady who's sitting beside me getting really upset with me because i was playing really stupidly and I was winning

and she's there. Like, like I'm doing like, you know, five bucks a hand, 10 bucks a hand. And I, I just kept winning,

winning, winning, winning. And, and like, she, she would lose. Like you would go,

Hey, you should split those. I go, no, I'm good. And I, I went, I get blackjack.

I get a whole bunch of money back and that she's doing all the proper things and stuff. And if she's, she'd lose all of her money and she go, no, I'm good. I win. I get blackjack. I get a whole bunch of money back. She's doing all the proper things and stuff. She'd lose all of her money and she'd go, okay, here are five more hundred. One, two, three, four, five. Put down $500 bills. Lose it again. Okay, let's go. She just kept saying that. She's getting mad at you?

She's getting mad at me because I kept winning because I was taking her hands or something. She's mad at you because you are making moves that aren't just wrong but they're like incorrect if that makes any sense yeah and and you're changing the cards so like it's like that scene in sopranos she's going that was supposed to be my card i would have made blackjack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You cost me $1,800 to win 12 by playing wrong. Go away. It would be infuriating.

I guess so when you say it that way. If you want to work together, I guess. You need to set up your own little group and be like, all right, how many people are allowed at a blackjack table? Four or five? I don't know. You'd need to go like with a group and be like all right we're the we're the quad tonight we're setting up the whole

table and we're all gonna play correctly well most people what i'm i'm not talking about just not being adventurous with your betting i'm talking about playing in an incorrect manner like not jumping a move in checkers for example it. It'd be like, why didn't you take that piece? It's checkers. Oh, I didn't see that. Well, because you didn't jump there, something that you had no way of knowing now makes me lose. It's like you played bad, so I lose.

If there were just a competent player here, the game would be moving. You could still win as a result of them playing in confidence. I hear everything you're saying, and you're absolutely right. And that takes your card. Or I make no move. That's all true. I get what you're saying. Sounds like sour moves.

But this is a game where you get to see it play out. And also it's... Well, you gotta understand, they've never seen anyone play like him, is part of it as well. He's a maverick, is what you're saying. He's blazing trails over there, of it as well. He's a maverick is what you're saying. He's blazing trails over there and it's frustrating.

It's that you can see it in Blackjack and see how the cards have been altered by someone's weird play. It's like, oh yeah, you always split when you get this hand. It's just the rules of Blackjack. It's like, if A then B and this guy went C and it's like whoa you're not

being adventurous you're not gambling and throwing it around in poker you can be like fucking i'm calling because maybe because maybe right maybe he's not play that way he's christ like he barges into that temple of money and flips the tables i remember i remember i was doing one hand and it took me five cards to get up to 20 and I just kept hitting it was like it was five like nine it was like 13 it was like 14 and the

lady beside me goes Lord Jesus Christ there was no reason for me to hit I was just like let's see what happens you know what I mean it's like I won the hand and it's like I got money and stuff yeah she was so mad at me i still remember that to this day no i i i get it to some regard and i also get like and not from blackjack but just from poker like like some it can be it can be frustrating when again i don't know if i can

explain this right when someone just does the wrong thing and that changes the flow of the game it's it's like i get that this is all random but you interceded in my randomness a little bit with your in with your incompetence and i'm not saying you you will but like in poker yeah yeah i know it's like it's like bro why are you even in this hand i i misread my cards to be honest i thought i had two eights but it's an eight and an ace. I'm sorry. Don't apologize. You were the fucking hand. I'm just stuck because my stupid play could just as well help you.

I guess it's a luck thing. You also have to imagine we're not at a game where the general public would normally be as well. What's that a counter? It is if you're a gambler.

I think people are understanding what I'm talking about here. Like if you're at a table and someone's doing things that are wrong, like misplaying the game, and it changes the flow of the cards. And not just in an adventurous kind of... But the flow of the cards. And not just in an adventurous kind of... But the flow of the cards. What does that mean? Like, if I'm playing crap, I'm not crap. They're predetermined.

If we're playing a dice game, and I'm the seven. We're not playing dice. We're playing cards, because in cards... Cards is different, yeah. Once we shuffle them and sit them on the table, although we can't see them, the order... We could play the hand up, you know, face side up, play it all the way out, and we would know who was going

to win. It's already predetermined. It's predetermined. It's a predetermined result once they're shuffled, and no one knows it, and that's the whole gist of the game. But is it not equally likely, like, someone playing like a dumbass helps you and hurts you? Sorry, I'm not getting it.

The problem is that no one at that table should be playing like a dumbass it and and and that's already you just go in knowing that everyone is going to if a then b so someone going c is this weird thing that should have never happened it's like you tripped and fell and and and hurt me like like okay it's not making sense chaos theory i understand what you're saying now everybody's got to be on the same yeah it's basic strategy the same tactic in the game in order for it to work for everyone one fly in the ointment can fuck the whole thing up that's why you have hot tables and bad tables right it's just like you know if it's influenced by your ignorance as well because there's there's so many decisions you could make.

I'll bet this much. I'll fold this card, this and that. But 100% of the time, every other player with any sense would have said, I don't know. The best example is someone misreading their cards and thinking they had one thing, but they had another. And so they're literally playing wrong. That's inexcusable.

That happens all the time. Really? People go, aha, full house. And they're they're like no you have one eight not two that happens all the time that's that's why it's infuriating because we're not talking about for shits and giggles there's like thousands of dollars moving around yeah okay that would that would frustrate me yeah if i was trying to take it serious and some guys like flush and it's like you've got one of every different you've got a club a spade a heart and a diamond this is not a flush or however fucking poker works i don't know anything about that shit it's like that friend i

know about important games like like age of empires too kyle and I had a little yesterday afternoon or morning, actually. Kyle and I had a little melding of the mind. It's like 7 a.m. We're both on gaming. I woke up and was like, I just wanted to come in here and see who was online. I see Kyle's online at Tarkov. So we hop in a call together. I watch a little Tarkov. I feel like I know a little more about that game now.

Kyle watches a little Age of Empires, asks a few questions. I like I know a little more about that game now Kyle watches a little Age of Empires asks a few questions I think he knows a little more about the game I was playing when you came in there you were murdering I saw you kill multiple people look at all of his things and you saw me fuck up the Mongols

dude that game was over it was like his team is blue and the other team is red the blue team is shaped like a other team's red and this is the blue team is shaped like a pac-man eating a red little jewel in the middle surrounded the other guy and i'm like wait is that your is that your town center he's like no that's my second town center like why did you build it next to his town center because this is our town now and now i'm going to mine his gold i was doing that i was like

i was making i i destroyed his front base and he was off gold and i was like i mine your gold like the fucking uh can you hear each other in that game it will be blood no no you can't hear anyone in that game it's so fun and fucking tarkov and that's one of my favorite things that's what i love about dark yeah people are fucking me proximity chat yeah i it's so fun and fucking tarkov and that's one of my favorite things that's what i love about tarkov yeah people are fucking me proximity chat yeah i it's more often cooperative than toxic surprisingly but uh i i've i've grown to love voip in every game yeah well i think that's uh that's a show wolf where can everyone find you and all your content oh um please go and subscribe to wolf paintball on youtube um i need to break i need to get over 100k it's like it's ridiculous i went under because of some other stuff but

if you could come by say hi and subscribe and um again thank you for the invite and watching the show it's always fun and amazing i love it here it's a good time yeah that was a 648