Painkiller Already - PKA 685 W/ Scott Sullivan: Taylor Swift Is A Bad Girlfriend, Scott Fights Sam Hyde, Palworld

Episode Date: February 3, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 he's just gone pka 685 with our guest scott sullivan taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com and of course as always lock and load a couple of wonderful products talk more about them later scott sullivan mma from fish tank fame professional fighter thank you for joining us tonight what's going on guys how we doing tonight doing solid doing solid so you just wrapped up season two of fish tank you were part of season one also how did you get kind of in that group with sam and the jet neptune gang uh well a couple years ago i hit up sam um and i actually had a question for him because i was going to send something to someone and i didn't want it to be like, you know, annoying.
Starting point is 00:00:48 And, you know, that's kind of how I broke the ice with him. And he knew me as as a boxer. So when he decided he was going to go on his fight, Hassan arc, I just kind of hit him up like, yo, if you need help, I got you. Yeah. Yeah. And then one thing just kind of led to another. And now now here I am. So you and Sam get into a fight. How's that go? Not not fun. I'll say that much get out really yeah dudes but like i'm i'm a big dude but i'm i'm not big enough as to where i kind of know i'm big right what's that what weight class
Starting point is 00:01:21 do you fight in well when i'm in shape in shape, I fight 170, maybe 175, somewhere around there. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So you walk around in the 190s, question mark? No, I'm fat as hell right now. I'm like 230. Okay. Been there.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Yeah, been there. I've been a couple trips to 230. It's a rough place to be. You're a tall guy, though, like 6'2 or so? No, I'm like six feet even okay and so you with your training though you couldn't you couldn't take sam maybe i give way too much credence to the training and in the boxing world too no no i mean like you know i i know i know how to fight dudes like sam right i'm just saying that it wouldn't be it wouldn't be easy you know especially because um even from the get-go i was kind of impressed by by his ability to like understand himself he
Starting point is 00:02:11 uses his physicalities he's very much a uh he's very much a bully right um and um you know it it's it's not that i'm like oh no i don't think i could beat him like if it came down to it and we had to fight which would never happen we're both too chill for it and we had to fight, which would never happen. We're both too chill for that. But if we had to fight, I think I know how I could try to go about it. But it wouldn't be pretty. Don't keep it a secret. What's your strategy?
Starting point is 00:02:36 What's your – how are you going to get Sam? Well, first I'm going to stash a knife in my cup. Slice him up. Dickless. Yeah, dickless. well first i'm gonna stash a knife in my cup cut yourself bleed out down your leg win by default for sam yeah i wouldn't want to box i wouldn't want to box anyone like seeing people boxing though i said fight i thought he was gonna say take it to the ground or something but he didn't mention that yeah i mean if i could if i could end up on top i would because that's kind of the way that i like to grapple i don't like being on bottom um i'm very much a top right yeah um yeah i like to think i'd be a top if i wrestled yes yes yeah you gotta be a switch you gotta handle it wherever it goes a power bottom maybe that's that's a good point yeah
Starting point is 00:03:22 you can't you can't go wrong um yeah i mean like if if it came down to it and i was able to to grapple because that's the thing is he like um i i rolled with him the first time on uh on fish tank season two right before that we had never done any kind of grappling and um you know if i had to if i had to like hand him a belt if i had to reach into like something and pull out a belt and be like here you go it'd probably be like a blue belt with a couple of stripes so like he's not actually oh he's okay he knows kind of what he's doing a little bit and then on top of that the again his understanding of his own physicality and just being like no i'm gonna bully i'm not worried about trying to be Mr. Technical
Starting point is 00:04:05 or anything like that. That's where it would kind of be tough. It's not just some big dude who's flailing. There's a calculation to him. He seems to have a little courage. Yeah. Yeah, that would have been... If he would have got fucked up in that fight
Starting point is 00:04:24 versus that dude... And the dude in that fight versus that dude, and the dude he fought was another big dude, jacked guy, but if he would have gotten shit-rocked by that guy and knocked out, that would be devastating for him, for the perception of him. Suddenly that whole joke about, like, Hasan Piker, fight me, suddenly that is out the window. That's that you can't do that anymore because now you just respond with a gif of you getting shit rocked by some dude in a YouTube boxing match.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Like that did take like you can't. It wasn't a boogie and wings fight where like, of course, it took bravery for them to take their shirts off and get up there. But like wings at no point thought, oh, fuck, boogie might really piece me up like no but boogie knew he was going to get owned and wings knew he was going to own him i would be like watching you instruct them like those those goofballs the fish tank contestants on boxing and me having no boxing experience like i like you like to imagine that like yeah i get in that situation and like i would look kind of crisp and like i wouldn't make a total fool idiot of myself,
Starting point is 00:05:27 but then I watch these people do it and I'm like, no, that's exactly what I'd be doing. I'd be like not leaning in with my hips, like playing patty cake, looking like an idiot. It was that, was that frustrating to deal with or exactly what you expected? I mean, it's exactly what I expected. Cause I teach, I teach, I teach kids and adults, but mostly kids. So, like, in certain ways, it's actually better because, I mean, they're not hyper.
Starting point is 00:05:55 They're not, like, running around, like, throwing stuff, you know. It's just dealing with people who are not athletic in any way, shape, or form. So, it's like, all right, whatever. If I'm not going to scream at to scream at this like little kid i probably shouldn't be screaming at this adult yeah i remember one time i saw the u.s uh army training some afghanis to be like you know we wanted to prop them up like hey you're going to take over now you'll you'll look after this place and they're doing um jumping jacks you know and you we all did that in school you got the teacher in front he gives you a little demonstration and then everybody falls in line. Not a single Afghani could do a fucking jumping jack.
Starting point is 00:06:28 The concept was so foreign to them. You got to imagine these grown men have never seen a jumping jack before. But they're all so uncoordinated as well. It was just lots of weird sizzling. You're not thinking of Iraq, are you? Was it definitely Afghanistan? I mean, I don't really make much. I've seen this footage.
Starting point is 00:06:43 It was guys in turbans with no dexterity jumping around. It was one of those empires we toppled. One of the problems with that footage, the same one I saw, was they weren't taking it seriously enough. Third graders learning jumping jacks in elementary school are at least trying to get it right.
Starting point is 00:07:00 They're laughing at their own incompetence and I'm like, someone needs to suck the fun out of this environment. Yeah, there's too much fun in the Taliban. But then again, maybe having fun wins wars. They did win. Have a good time. Enjoy
Starting point is 00:07:15 yourself. These were the guys that we left to be tortured to death. These guys didn't win. These guys didn't win at all. Is that like in Inglourious Bastards, when they have to like do a three like that maybe that's how they suss out taliban they make them do jumping jacks and if they can do it they're like he is a medican and then they medican spy fuck his ass up but then if they like have no rhythm is the jumping jack not like a global sort of calisthenic apparently
Starting point is 00:07:43 not and it's easy to poke fun until you see have you seen videos of like eight-year-old chinese kids in a grid 500 by 500 doing like punches and shit see that's bullshit though because like if we want first of all that's propaganda that's not they didn't just pop into some random elementary school the way gorbachev remember what gorbachev came over and uh and and they took him to a grocery store and he was like bullshit that's not what American drive me around I'll pick the store and he picks the store and he goes in and he's shocked thousands of products every every aisle is full nothing's missing every space is full pride that's when the fucking Soviet Union that's so funny you answered like one clear propaganda with another like you really think
Starting point is 00:08:22 Gorbachev was like openly weeping oranges? I'm dispelling propaganda. It's the exact opposite. It's the exact opposite. There was never a grain shortage in Russia. No, there was huge food shortages. I mean, look at the shelves now. They didn't hardly know that there are no bread lines in Russia.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Kyle combated the Chinese propaganda with the affirming Gorbachev one, and I was combating that propaganda with even more insane propaganda. What I'm saying is on the other the affirming Gorbachev one, and I was combating that propaganda with even more insane propaganda. What I'm saying is on the other hand, while Gorbachev could go to any grocery store in America and say this one, and it would be equally full and stocked up, you can't go to any random Chinese elementary school and say, all right, show me that big grid where you all look like a tiger's mouth eating the capitalist West. Show me that real quick. And they'd all be like abacusing their way to nothing. No, it's bullshit. They've got some like all-stars. It's the same way like
Starting point is 00:09:13 the Soviets used to pay chess players and ballet dancers and stuff like that. Look, our culture is so amazing. We paid these people. This whole program, it's bullshit. It's propaganda. I think they leaned into chess because they happened to have a lot of the chess guys and so they were like this is going to be our thing we're going to make it into a huge deal and then america is like well if they say it's a huge deal it's got to be a big deal we got to be the best at this we got to find some fucking
Starting point is 00:09:38 weirdo like who was the the chess guy who was bobby fisher Yeah. We needed to find our own little body. America did a more clever thing. Deep Blue. We invented the computer that beats everybody at chess and that's the end of the story. How does that work now? I remember that. At this point, computers fuck chess players.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Your phone is the best chess player to have ever lived. That's embarrassing. it knows all the moves are we better than computers at anything now yes that um they get go track and field yeah isn't the game called go oh yeah i know the game i know of the game go yeah i know like a chinese game right yeah yeah and apparently it's very um very cerebral There's a lot of black and white. Yeah, there's huge grids of maybe black and white marbles or
Starting point is 00:10:29 chips. I've only watched a documentary about it and how I think that maybe the computers can't beat the best players of that. Is it just a for now thing? Oh, they just haven't got around to it. Even Deep Blue, they knew, or Woody, you were like an adult at that time.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Like a young adult. Like was everyone, were there any people who were like, they'll never have a computer that can always beat Gary Kasparov or whatever. Exactly. And then when Deep Blue started winning, they started giving excuses. Like, well, Deep Blue has seen Gary's previous games and Gary blue has seen gary's previous games and gary has not seen deep blue's previous games he understood deep boo's tendencies and such and he would beat it or so they say but that is in the past now now computers just beat you don't ask any questions you can't win i think recently there was some kind of a competition somewhere
Starting point is 00:11:20 or maybe i'd maybe just read it on reddit they were they were programming a game and uh maybe a maybe a poker bot or something like that the guy's like i overslept i just wrote it this morning it says go all in every if if in hand go all in and it won like the state competition because everyone else's programs just fold at an all-in you know every other program folds to an all-in so he just sweeps the whole thing no one is none of the other guys i do against him damn yeah i wonder if the reason that we're not winning go or i see zach said gran turismo pokemon and monopoly all have all can't be beaten by ai yeah nobody beats me monopoly but is anyone? Is that why we're better at Go also?
Starting point is 00:12:06 If we devoted the kind of... IBM was at a time, one of the very few companies that did a lot of pure research. IBM, Bell Labs, and the list might stop there. I don't have any more. And so IBM was putting these PhD-level geniuses on both hardware and software to solve this chess problem and they did. Chess is a big time game where there's some incentives to get this right.
Starting point is 00:12:32 Competitive and recreational. And Go? Who's working on that? Is it possible that the US government was helping to fund IBM's computer to beat the Soviets because it's a good look. That's a guarantee.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Yeah. And when you're done, we would also like this bot. It will be flying our drones to kill brown people. That's like a guarantee. They see a little success there and they're like, alright, money behind this, boom. And things are about to get a little more serious in your corporate culture.
Starting point is 00:13:06 Government conspiracies are tricky. If you believe the government is always telling the truth, then you're a fool. But if you believe the government's never telling the truth, you're also a fool. And it can be hard to know when, what's what. The new one's the Taylor Swift
Starting point is 00:13:22 one. The one that, frankly, I have been espousing for weeks. Is it the government's behind the chiefs win instead of their skill it's not only is it a major conspiracy that lots of people believe it's one that i again i've been espousing for weeks and weeks and weeks that taylor swift is a psyop you get her you get her in there for the joe biden plug and make everybody get the vaccine taylor. Taylor, you're not thinking. You're not playing the long game. They've been setting this up since 2021 when Kansas City won the first time
Starting point is 00:13:52 or 2020. 2020, they won the Super Bowl. No. And 22. I think they did win in 2020. I don't know. I've only been a Chiefs fan this year. I don't know. Did you see someone calculated the financial impact of Taylor Swift being Kelsey's girlfriend and going to the games?
Starting point is 00:14:08 Fucking absurd, I'm sure. $331 million for the Chiefs and the NFL. Just like ratings over NFL. They made that much? Extra. Extra? Jeez. Her impact alone was $331 million more for the Chiefs and the NFL.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Through the ability to- They did this exact know they go to the playoffs every year i mean no i'm not doubting you i think that's what they did that's how they did them because like that the viewership was that much higher that they're slated to make that much more through ads not just the viewership but you know how it works like it's it's valuable eyes that are watching i think i think they're they're hitting demographics you normally wouldn't hit with NFL games. Young and middle-aged women are huge spenders, big spenders. So those are valuable eyes. You can get them buying a fucking Kelsey jersey.
Starting point is 00:14:54 I bet Kelsey jerseys are insane. As I looked it up, the Chiefs won in 2020, and they were in it in 21, and they're here again in 24. I don't know. I fucked it up. And they won last year. Yeah, and they won in it in 21 and they're here again in 24. I don't know. I fucked it up. And they won last year. Yeah, and they won last year. To say the Chiefs are in it through some sort of scam is a little silly. If I weren't from Missouri, I'd be all in with you.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Here's the actual conspiracy we need to line in. Taylor Swift is a gold-digging whore. That's what you want to line up behind. Taylor Swift is only happy to have Travis Kelsey for his money, and she's the kind of girl who sits at the finish line and fucks the winners. It's not until this guy makes the Super Bowl, what, his fourth time? This is what a real Psy-Op looks like.
Starting point is 00:15:34 Scott, disagree. I was going to say, she's definitely got more money than Kelsey. I wouldn't be dissuaded with your facts. So, I have my own Taylor Swift P swift like like psyop but it's it's not a fun one i'm i'm not a thousand percent sure what like the fun one is the one that everybody on twitter has been going crazy about it's just um trying to put her front and center
Starting point is 00:15:56 so that she can like push biden and vaccines and stuff like that there's nothing else to it it could be yeah i mean because kelsey's like the pfizer fun guy right now right he's in all those commercials yeah i don't see commercials but i do know he works for five aaron rogers talks shit yeah yeah that was funny yeah like you need you need pfizer money it's like you're dating taylor swift and you're you play for the chiefs i don't i mean yeah he needs that he needs that chunky soup money he needs that car insurance money the Manning brothers
Starting point is 00:16:29 are still fucking in commercials and running pizza restaurants dude they've got their own program those guys are 100 millionaires what are they still doing was Taylor Swift I didn't know this Scott was she like a big vax person or no not necessarily
Starting point is 00:16:44 just like a normal vax person or no not necessarily you know just like a normal um person about it i suppose i'm just kind of whatever people might take effort with that with that read but uh i mean my my my less fun theory was that she was being put front and center in the nfl right now to show like like cracked out psycho women that they can have it all they can wait to be like 35 before they start having kids and they can they can be pop stars and stuff like that and then also still get the football player that they wanted back in high school i could see that i mean that's certainly like definitely an endearing part of her to her core audience because you see a lot of the most hardcore taylor swift fans online because it's trending fucking constantly now
Starting point is 00:17:29 and they're like exactly what you described like a 39 year old single no kids and almost living vicariously the way one might through a child with taylor swift like look at her she's she's living the dream for the record i like taylor. I don't think there's anything wrong. I don't know anything about her. Her music's good. I've always liked her songs. I imagine she's a bad girlfriend, only because there's a long list of people that agree. Yeah, her business is kind of needed. I don't even know.
Starting point is 00:17:58 But I know the meme that all her songs are about breaking up, right? Yeah. A lot of them are. that like all her songs are about breaking up right yeah a lot of i think i i think that's why she's famous is because she kind of she kind of um um she she was she was caught on by like those girls in high school who like they weren't ugly like they're actually pretty and like cool but they weren't cheerleaders and like that's what half her songs are about if it's not about breaking up it's about like oh i'm better than the cheerleader i don't know why you don't want me yeah yeah like like oh she i'm just the plain jane and like
Starting point is 00:18:32 meanwhile she's hot like i really i really doubt she was a clean jane in high school oh does she yeah that happens more often than you would think it's very rare that it's just like a you know random happenstance i hate to call her a nepo baby, right? Because like some of our most talented actors and singers and such had parents in the industry, in the entertainment industry. And I think that's where she lands. Like, I like her music, whatever. I'm gay. Not actually gay, but, you know, gay enough to like Taylor Swift.
Starting point is 00:19:00 And I like her music. I think she's really good at it. I think she sings well and she plays the guitar. I tried to play the guitar. It didn't sound anything like it when she does. So, tip of the hat. But she didn't get a big leg up in the fame race because her father... Who are some of the
Starting point is 00:19:16 worst examples of the nepotism babies in the entertainment industry? People who would not be there. There's a 0% chance if they didn't have successful relatives. Anyone have a good one? I feel like Kyle's good at this game.
Starting point is 00:19:32 If we're being honest, Nick Cage. I wasn't sure about him. That's so crazy. He's so talented. Just because you don't like his performance style, he couldn't do it. He has his own style. I just need to ask, befuddled?
Starting point is 00:19:48 He has this raw... He's not always befuddled. Sometimes he's mad. Sometimes he's insane. His new movie's bizarre. I mean, a lot of his new stuff is. I think Nick Cage is very talented. I like his movies because he's funny to watch.
Starting point is 00:20:01 Because it is as if I'm up there trying. That's what he's like. He's my Taylor Swift. If I were a Hollywood actor, I'd be Nick Cage up there badly emoting with my face, probably making side comments to production about like, yeah, my uncle was Francis Ford Coppola.
Starting point is 00:20:18 And it's like... He literally changed his name, right? So he wouldn't be Nicholas Coppola? Dude, if he stayed Nicholas Coppola and he was an awesome actor, everyone would be like, damn, that Coppola family with the actress. He switched to Cage so that people couldn't be like, oh, that's the
Starting point is 00:20:34 Coppola kid. Oh, I see why he's in it. You see? He's not like Kevin Spacey. Kevin Spacey could have grown up in a dirt chair and be a good actor. You need to go watch Con Air and when he tells I think John Malkovich maybe somebody to put that bunny
Starting point is 00:20:50 back in the box you're gonna tear up you're gonna tear up alright when he beats up Danny Trejo Danny Trejo's like Johnny 69 cause he's raped 69 women and he has like a tattoo for each of them on his body and he's like eyeing up the female guard he has 69 tattoos I can't what what they are like women's faces
Starting point is 00:21:09 there's hearts it's like a heart for every woman he's raped on his body and he's like eyeing up the female uh guard he's like i'm about to be johnny 70 bitch and like everybody's like whoa whoa we cannot rape wait why wouldn't but yeah they take over the con airplane you ever seen con air no it's great steve buscemi plays like a hannibal lecter type like they wheel him on the plane and one of those carts like a settling torches he's got the mouth guard on and everything i think nick cage is not a very if we're being honest i have another one what about drew barrymore i don't think she's a great actor and so you guys america's sweetheart they pushed her down our throats as gorgeous and for two decades
Starting point is 00:21:52 i was like i don't get it why is everyone saying drew barrymore's hot yeah it's like that first batman movie with uh christian bale where we're supposed to believe this billionaire is like risking it all for Maggie Gyllenhaal and it's like I wouldn't look at this woman at the grocery store twice like much less if I was a billion if I was a billionaire and she were serving me food I'd ask her to be removed Zach can we have a picture of Maggie Gyllenhaal I can't I'd rather fuck Jake I can't picture this woman that is not as attractive as jake jake's a cutie you know those families where they have like sons and daughters and you look at them and you're like man this was a daughter family or man this was a son family they got the better
Starting point is 00:22:37 half of the genetics there the jill and halls are a son family all right i mean that's a recent photo what you know maybe we could have went back to when she was in her prime. I want you to remember, this is the best she could look that day. She kind of looks the same. She's just got long hair back. That's a deep cut. She's like 40 here. She looks great.
Starting point is 00:22:58 Look at that. She looks like his mom. That's a good looking man, though, right? If you told me that was him and his mom I wouldn't fight you poor Maggie Gyllenhaal and Taylor's description is really good I wouldn't look twice
Starting point is 00:23:14 at her at the grocery store yeah I mean she doesn't stand out ugly I'm not saying she's ugly like she's not deformed or anything but she is unremarkable in Whole Foods put that picture back up, put that picture back up. She looks like someone who beat cancer eight months ago.
Starting point is 00:23:32 Is what she looks like with her hairline. No, Taylor, she's too bad for that. She doesn't do herself any favors with the short hair. She probably shouldn't have lopped it all off. Her top doesn't fit right either. I don't know what's going on under that.
Starting point is 00:23:46 It's an ill-fitting dress, if we're being honest. Yeah. Look at that. The team of stylists was doing both of them, and there were like eight women all wanting to touch her brother and just a Honduran illegal taking care of herself. That's a better look. It's good.
Starting point is 00:24:01 You can't see her face that well, but you can see the streaks. Oh, show me Secretary.'t see her face that well, but you can see the streaks. Show me Secretary. Show me her in The Secretary. That's the movie she's fucking smoking hot in. That's the movie she's smoking hot in. That's a good movie. I don't think she's smoking hot in any movie. She is. She might have good boobs
Starting point is 00:24:20 and I haven't seen a top that shows them yet. Actually, I kind of like her there. I'm kind of a fan of that. She must be a terrible secretary. No, she's a great one. James Spader. She's being punished right there.
Starting point is 00:24:35 I like that she's literally bonded with that pole behind her back and Kyle's like, that's a great secretary right there. She's got potential. That's the whole a great secretary right there she's got potential that's the whole point of the movie is she's into BDSM no she's into BDSM with one person
Starting point is 00:24:52 why are you you're such an awful awful human being I'm an awful human being I mean I thought this was about a whore who he hired and was like you're my secretary now and she's like okay it's easier to hire a whore who he hired and was like, you're my secretary now. No, it's his actual secretary. It's easier to hire a whore and train
Starting point is 00:25:08 her to be a secretary than to hire a secretary and train her to be a whore. It depends on the starting material, really. I don't know. Greg, is she a secretary who's halfway to whore or a whore who's halfway to...
Starting point is 00:25:22 I think some whores are going to have substance abuse issues and it's going to be a problem. I don't know what a whore or a whore who's halfway to... Because I think some whores are going to have substance abuse issues, and it's going to be a problem. I don't know what a whore is. Eddie Cash is getting wiped out. If you were a big man... If you were a big, famous guy, Scott, would you have a sexy little secretary, or would you be like the opposite of that
Starting point is 00:25:41 and be like, no, none of that for me. Business as usual. The ugliest, most competent man please an asian man see it's that that'd be tough for me because on on one hand like um yeah i've i've learned the hard way to not shit where i eat but then on the other hand it's like i don't want to i don't want to walk in and be like what's going on uh john how are you today did i get any calls you know i don't want to see some like gruff dude when i walk in the be like what's going on uh john how are you today did i get any calls you know i don't want to see some like gruff dude when i walk in the office at like 9 or 10 a.m whenever i go in you know i think that yeah i think actually i do think like a maggie gyllenhaal or even like a
Starting point is 00:26:16 taylor swift like tier girl looks wise might actually be all right oh yeah like like maggie gyllenhaal is not ugly she's ugly in the world of hollywood like in the real world it's like oh that's an above average looking woman like taylor swift is like attractive i imagine if you see her in person i saw that pic do you see that picture of her with her naked pussy rubbing red paint all over uh the chief stadium 100 yeah do you see those real photos no the ai tay A.I. Taylor Swift shit. Oh, I'm going to have to. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:48 Like it was like a Streisand effect. Pretty hot. Rabbit or pussy with those six fingers. Yeah. You can tell because it's got the six finger thing. But like the pictures is like, I don't know what this dude input into his hyper realistic porn simulator. But like half of them were like Taylor Swift looking slutty naked with like chief's paint on and it says like fuck me and then she's just like in the crowd you can like see how the lines
Starting point is 00:27:13 on the field in the background aren't perfect the way like ai does it and she's just being groped like molested by like dozens of chief fans with like red paint on. Apparently, her legal team drew attention to it and was like, this is unacceptable. As soon as I saw that, I'm like, oh, that's... Yeah, the president. Biden's not... Nobody's doing her any favors talking about that. You let that slide.
Starting point is 00:27:37 You go, this will pass if we don't say anything about it. Now, it trended on Twitter 100 times because it got brought up. We'll see what they do. It's a lot of powerful people who don't like it. There may be some changes to how that technology gets used. We were talking about Gyllenhaal. Did y'all see the trailer for Roadhouse?
Starting point is 00:27:54 I haven't seen the first one. Where Conor McGregor just plays himself. He just plays himself, and that's why I think he can play himself. I was worried. The acting in the trailer was good. Now maybe it's just 90 seconds of good but um me as a bit of a connor hater nothing negative to say about that trailer it was his posture is hilarious when he walks into this he's just like like the way his shoulders and his arms and he's just like leaned forward all weird. And then, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:28:28 the line, of course, where he headbutts Gyllenhaal was hilarious. But he's got a golf club, which I thought was bizarre. I don't think that's a good melee weapon at all. I mean, like, first swing, the head's breaking off, and now you've just got a whippy cane. Dude, you only need one swing with a golf club, too. He's in a roadhouse! Yeah, you're assuming, one,
Starting point is 00:28:44 that I hit with that swing. Two,. He's in a roadhouse. You're assuming, one, that I hit with that swing. Two, I'm not in a bar environment with a dozen people. We're taking that away from you, friend. He's an actor now? He's a whiskey man? He's an actor? He's not a fighter anymore?
Starting point is 00:28:58 He's an actor. I don't think Conor fights again. He's going to fight again, but it'll be a last fight i think or his second to last fight uh with he's gonna fight chandler like i don't think he can get out of that there's been contracts signed or something some sort of when he did the ultimate fighter he agreed to fight that man and now he clearly can't get out of it you can kind of see the way he answers questions he's like apparently it'll be chandler it'll be chandler you know it's gonna be chandler i suppose it'll be chandler like he's not excited about it'll be Chandler. You know, it's going to be Chandler. I suppose it'll be Chandler.
Starting point is 00:29:25 Like, he's not excited about it, but he knows that, look, you signed. You agreed. Fight the motherfucker. I can't get the money fight, which is Jake Paul, unless I fulfill my contractual obligation to fight Chandler. Stuck on that one. How many? It hasn't been like six years since he's fought, and he's still on the hook for a fight from a contract? Would you say three, Kyle? Well, no, that's not. like six years since he's fought and he's still on the hook for a fight for a contract would you
Starting point is 00:29:45 say three kyle well no that's not a so on the fight with a contract isn't a good way to look at it you know he agreed reese he does a contract every fight so he recently like last year they did the reality show the ultimate fighter and sort of often what they'll do is they'll have the coaches fight each other at the end it's a it's a fun way to end the reality show not on the show obviously they'll do a pay-per-view event after and so connor was the coach and this chandler guy was the coach and they're both seemingly in the same division around the same ranking or whatever and but but year a year has passed now and it's like like what's what's fucking going on not a not a year since the show but like um it's been years since he's fought even it's been so many years since he's beaten
Starting point is 00:30:29 an opponent that you could actually be like yeah that was a good win that was so you all think he'll have one more fight and then be done yeah yeah yeah if he starts his chandler then obviously the the story continues well his last fight was in 21. Oh, sorry. And maybe it's been six years since he had a good win. Mm-hmm. Yeah, because when he came back and smoked Cerrone, it was hard to even decide what that meant because the circumstances were odd.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Cerrone was at the end of his career. And the way Conor did it was so interesting, though, that it was like what what just happened here did we just see like a new bruce lee type fucking thing like did he just change the game up with shoulder strikes um but i don't know nobody's done it since i i it feels to me like cowboy was looking for a way out of that fight he got hit in the nose with the shoulder and was like i'm out He took a head kick right after that. It was rough.
Starting point is 00:31:27 I remember people saying that maybe he threw or he gave up. He took an ass beating. He was done. If he had manned up like that one fight you like where maybe Diaz gives him the finger and he's like, yeah, that was where Cowboy looked. If he'd just gone out for another
Starting point is 00:31:43 beating or continued to take one, I think that's what would have happened. He wasn't going to be Conor that night. Say what you want about Conor and his longevity. He starches Cerrone every night of the week. Is MMA the sport that you follow, Scott, professionally? Or do you just teach it and you're not that into watching it? These two are obsessed with it.
Starting point is 00:32:03 I'll watch a fight once in a blue moon yeah i mean it i wouldn't say i follow mma but i definitely follow certain fighters like um you know i like perera um i'll watch israel out of sonia but i don't i don't like them um i can say yeah yeah fucking but yeah it's um you know it's it's it's interesting. And talking about the Cerrone thing, I think what happened was like the shoulder – because it's the punch you get hit with that you don't see coming that does like the damage and stuff like that. So I think that it was just a – I think there was just momentum from the get-go with the shoulder strikes. He was like, what the fuck is this? I just got hit with the shoulder.
Starting point is 00:32:43 And then it wasn't over then obviously he got he got pieced up more but he just couldn't really do much of anything after that you know yeah yeah he was like the look in his eyes was like what the fuck my nose hurts so much i can't breathe um i think maybe he was i've seen him like blow his nose before with a bad broken nose and his eyes did the puppy thing. So maybe that was even in his head. Like, like, um,
Starting point is 00:33:09 I've had my nose broken, not in a fucking professional fight, but just a kid punching me in school. And it was like, I'm done now. I don't want to do this anymore. So I can relate to it, but he did keep fighting and he got,
Starting point is 00:33:21 then he got kicked in the head and took like, that's freeing. I've had my nose broken a couple times, maybe four. And I've had it broken where I shrugged it off and I was the tough guy that I aspire to be. And I've had it broken where, like you said, I just was like, time out, time out. I don't want to fight anymore.
Starting point is 00:33:40 I'm like bending over, just leaking, pouring out of my face. And those guys could have done anything they wanted to me at that point I was only interested in watching my blood I guess yeah I don't I I the stories you guys and like other guests maybe Scott is something like this where people who are into fighting will talk about like yeah you go to a gym and like sometimes the guys you get paired up with there will pretend like they're going to go easy on you but really they just want to piece up a newbie and like pub stomp and that right there is enough to keep me out of that hobby or out of it as a hobby forever is like i'm gonna i'm in my 30s and i'm gonna go get my ass beat by some dude in his 20s who's been doing it for five years and just wants to practice. He's like, man, I wonder what this idiot's
Starting point is 00:34:26 head's going to feel like on my hand. Let's find out. He's 18. He has amazing cardio. He's on the current high school wrestling team, and he sees you as an adult he can test his skills on. And it's like, I don't need this ass-kicking son. Dude, I'd get beat up
Starting point is 00:34:42 one time. Somebody taps me out over and over, and I'd like walking out like, this is actually gay. This whole thing, this is actually fucking gay. It is. You didn't scare me away. I'm choosing. I'm doing a pajama time,
Starting point is 00:34:58 maggots. I'll have you go. Black magic. I'm going to go join a fucking tennis or pickleball league. How were you when you first started training? I'll do j jits i assume you do some presenting jiu-jitsu did you have your lumps for six months one month nine months um i mean i still take them today depending on where i go fucking um but yeah like i had a little bit of wrestling experience but the thing is it didn't really come in handy because we were starting on our knees when we were doing jujitsu. Um, plus I was, I was an ass wrestler in high school. Um, the standup wasn't that bad cause I did some like really basic boxing when I was a kid.
Starting point is 00:35:40 Um, but it's even, even to this day, sometimes i have on days sometimes i have off days and then it's it's like taylor was saying like you got those dudes every now and again they just walk in and they're like yeah let's go light right yeah and it's just like holy shit dude what what what bothers me isn't necessarily that people kind of like go off every now and again it's that like you get this weird form of like creep who like um like i was actually um um when when i fight i get sparring in it joe lozans jim you get you guys yeah you guys know him they know joe yeah um like every now and again i go there and like everybody's usually like really chill but every now and again there's a guy he comes in like once and then i never see him again and i'm not there all the time but like you know like once a week when i'm getting ready to fight um and he'll just try and kill me and
Starting point is 00:36:34 then i'll kind of like throughout the course of the round i'll figure out like all right so i'm hitting him with this um he's hitting me with that i just got to avoid that like i start doing math and then around the time that I kind of start figuring it out, that's when either a, they're like, nah, nah, we're going too hard. Or B, um, they'll tell me not to use whatever it is that I'm using. Like, like if I throw an oblique kick or something like that, it's like this dude slinging head kicks at me, you know, but I can't, I can't throw a soft oblique kick that I'm being very careful with because that guy,
Starting point is 00:37:05 he isn't here to train, train. He's here to feel like he won. I totally get what you're saying. Like me, I kind of have the opposite problem where I go really soft. If you see me on fish tank, you'll see Sam egging me on like, come on, dude, go, go. And it's because I know the fish, fish yeah i'm kind of here i'm here to teach them martial arts but i'm here to mess with them too a little bit and um you know i i i want to i want to give them a workout but i don't want to like break ribs or anything like
Starting point is 00:37:35 that yeah yeah you know did the uh i loved when you like made them all so scott's in his own colored gi to indicate he is the sensei and all the fish are in their own gis and none of them know what they're doing. And you you made them like refer to you as sensei. What was the Japanese thing you made them say? Like as an affirmative, they couldn't say like, yes, it's us. Which is a real thing too that was that wasn't even a joke but i figured you know it'd be nice to have them do that because they get fucking used to it and they don't stop well i think it was your first boxing thing of the season this year when that girl that was a
Starting point is 00:38:19 little little histrionic summer she like just started throwing up in the middle yeah she she was you can say like tell it like she just started vomiting in the middle of it it wasn't that strenuous yeah i was i'm not gonna lie i was a little nervous because like at this point we had basically just done some calisthenics and then um i taught them like real karate the first day like that was like real stuff you would go, you would see in a gym. And that's just basically like glorified calisthenics. And she ends up walking off with Sam. I had no idea that this happened, but like Sam calls her up.
Starting point is 00:38:59 And then like five minutes later, she comes back down. It turns out Sam asked her to get like a lighter or something like that. And the way out of the room he's like oh by the way panic she turns around comes downstairs and she starts looking for stuff and i just hear the sound of water hitting something hard and i'm like what the fuck is that and i look up and she's hunched over the uh the bar so i go over because i'm like fuck like could be serious. Like people usually don't vomit after something like that. She might be having an emergency. And, um,
Starting point is 00:39:30 she just, it was, it was like a faucet. She would not stop. And, uh, you can, you can actually see in the footage.
Starting point is 00:39:36 I kind of lean down because I'm trying to check on her. I lean down and then I catch a whiff of the vomit. And I kind of like, I kind of, I'm like, Hey, are you okay? You all right?
Starting point is 00:39:46 You good? And she was, she was just an absolute mess. I don't think, um, I, I forget if she lasted a week. I don't think she lasted a week,
Starting point is 00:39:55 but even, even without that, I don't think she would have lasted a week. Yeah. You're a little too fragile to last in there. If someone's saying panic to you is enough to be like literally vomit inducing, like a vomit inducing level. What is she doing on that show? Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Why would you volunteer for that? Like you probably saw clips of season one. It's going to be stressful. Just the text and speech part would be obnoxious. I bet it smelled like shit in there. Oh, yeah. Yeah, especially. I bet it smelled like shit in there.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Oh, yeah. Yeah, especially. It was weird because I'd walk in and you'd walk upstairs and then you're kind of in the main part of the house. And like I get three steps up, I'd be fine. And then the fourth step, I'd like get hit with a wall of just like trash. And there was like manure or mulch or something like that that they spread around everywhere. Yeah, they spread manure around.ch or something like that, that they spread around everywhere. Yeah. They spread manure around. I must've missed that.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Oh yeah. It was, it was for like the, the, the last like a couple of days, I think. Oh yeah. In the paint of the walls.
Starting point is 00:40:56 Like, like if the whole place would had fleas or lice or something like that, but. Dude, lice wouldn't have worked. Everybody ended up shaving their head. Ooh. Well, that is my grade. Even even the one of the last girls the last girl who was there shaved her
Starting point is 00:41:09 head didn't even win that's a huge was that for life misstep no it was because i don't remember why i think she said i would like shave i'd shave my head to win and they were like shave your head she shaved her head and they're like you lose if you get crabs can you just shave your pubes i don't know can they live in your asshole i i think they're i think you have to shave them all though they'll just keep migrating i think they're gonna look for hair somewhere you need to be softer than a baby down all my pubes are localized in the same place i don't understand i'm like a turtle down there no All my pubes are localized in the same place. I don't understand. I'm like a turtle down there. No purchase to be found. Now I'm on the other side of that bell curve. I'm a thicket.
Starting point is 00:41:49 I keep everything in the genital region okay, but the ass region is... The ass region is 32 years of the Viet Cong are hiding out in my ass crack with how fucking hairy it is
Starting point is 00:42:06 every once in a while you like do you ever like feel that hair and you're just like my god that's that's so long especially if you don't shower for a day or two and like you're sitting in your chair and you get up you start moving around and you're just like uh like oh yeah gross that is gross i get i have to shower i i can't go one day without showering or i'm just a fucking grease ball yeah i hate it like it feels like i have hair product in i'd have to be camping or something to miss a day of showering yeah we talked about uh i think it was asmongold a long while ago uh that really popular streamer who talked who's like yeah i'll go three weeks without showering that's damn vile yeah like that i can't imagine even like even
Starting point is 00:42:55 if you're inside and air conditioning all the time and you're not sweating you're just getting oily like you said like i have oily skin yeah i i'll feel it on everywhere like on my face my hair will get like greasy and and like i don't know it's it's it's disgusting i could go a day like if i don't do anything i could i could not shower and like like wait but i gotta get first thing in the morning first thing in the morning i'd rather shower like two or three times a day three is a little insane three is like what are you doing like you must have been very dirty but at least you know one or two times a day keep yourself growing up i shower three times a day. Three is a little insane. Three is like, what are you doing? Like, you must have been very dirty. But at least, you know, one or two times a day. Keep yourself in control. Growing up, I showered three times a day just to try to keep acne away.
Starting point is 00:43:31 It was just so oily. Do you remember the dentist telling you three times a day? What a lie that was. With brushing your teeth. Three times a week, tops. Three times a week? Do you know people like that? Who just, like, don't brush?
Starting point is 00:43:46 I bet you do. You're me jeremy um like jeremy clearly didn't brush or something you know because his teeth had rotten rotted out of his head um i also think that maybe he mentioned something about he had a condition that it's called not brushing your teeth yeah yeah like you have to like ignore your teeth through so many stages of pain to get to that like when when your teeth are rotted out it wasn't like you woke up one day and you're like i got a little oh my god is that a little blood in the sink when i brush like no it's like it's been hurting to eat for a year now and you're still like this will pass just chew my way through the other side well it's his front teeth too like like all of those are the worst yeah all of his teeth were you know he's got dentures now would you hire someone who had like rotten missing teeth for
Starting point is 00:44:37 any job at all i don't want my oh yeah you did he worked for you no but he was off camera he's the guy who would like dig the insides of a watermelon out with his bare hands on a hot summer day with no source of water you know what i mean like like he was he was the go the gopher he was go get this go get that hold these explosives in the air while i fucking shoot him guy plus the gum jobs that was all kyle needed to know what's the gum jobs you can't imagine oh the pleasures you can be found from a from a good gross gingivitis ridden gum then your then your dick smells like halitosis yeah yeah you like go to pee later and you're like oh that's oniony don't even want to touch your own you ever do something so awful with your penis you didn't want to touch it to piss after? I need to clean up first.
Starting point is 00:45:26 I've done that with my hands. Really? What do you do? Yeah. I mean, it's nothing too crazy. It's just it was so awful. There was this girl, right? Her friend was kind of getting with my friend.
Starting point is 00:45:41 And we're just hanging at his house. And he ends up going into the room with her. So naturally, it's just me and this other girl out, and we're like, well, all right. Yeah, here we go. Yeah, here we go. And I didn't go all the way, but I used a hand. And we didn't have cars at the time, right? It was much younger. And they end up leaving.
Starting point is 00:46:03 We end up walking to a store. It's like 2 a.m and every time i walk right i'd swing my hand back i swing my hand forward catch the nastiest fucking whiff and back swing forward nasty whiff it was just like the grossest thing i didn't want to touch anything so she had a she had a yeast infection or something and didn't it was so rude she didn't touch diagnosis yeah i hope that's what it was because if not it could have been something worse sometimes they don't know sometimes they don't know dude if i get bad bo i notice my own bo you might have a body smell that is just your smell though and you don't even know about it and you know what i mean like you you know your bo
Starting point is 00:46:45 but do you know you're like man musk like whatever whatever taylor smells like you know your dog's like oh that's taylor yeah what is he whatever he's smelling like you're used to that smell and it might be offensive to somebody else nasty puss is a whole other category though because i i knew a girl who just like she didn't know and and and i'm usually good at like broaching subjects with women i didn't know how to do it i know how to tell it be like hey your vagina smells so much that i don't want to have sex with you anymore um you should like what do you say what do you say really there's really no good way to broach that just ignored her till she broke up with me oh you took the mature adults approach
Starting point is 00:47:26 the one where i look like an asshole and her feelings are are saved yes the asshole approach yeah better than no than telling her the selfless gentleman that's what it was i'm agreeing with you we're gonna write her a note it smells you don't know kyle you should have done that the actual gentleman's route is a little bit sexual assaulty but if you could just slip that boric acid suppository in there while she's sleeping everybody wins yeah you'd have you'd literally it would have to be like that shit where you're like hey babe we're both gonna get into working out all the time dude i fucking hate that i hate that so i'm on reddit too much and there's a relationship advice and a couple other like like more intimacy-based relationship advice ones the girl can do no wrong no fucking wrong it'll be like my wife has sex
Starting point is 00:48:21 with me twice a year and they're all like well have you tried vacuuming more have you tried writing your love notes twice a day but the fucking whore just gives it hits it back a little bit yeah i they don't go to reddit for relationship advice i can't imagine how reparted that shit is i read the comments and get mad like Like, like, like I'll go through them and be like, how can the fact that so many of you feel this way makes me, makes me feel like we're all not the same after all. And that maybe I need to reevaluate how much trust I put into other people without knowing how they view the world and how much like appreciation even I have for them. Cause like, if you people think this and what else do you think about other common sense day to day,
Starting point is 00:49:07 plain Jane shit. Like if you can look at it, it'll be like you said, the guy's like, you know, I, I work two jobs and we have three kids and she said she was going to go back to work,
Starting point is 00:49:18 but you know, she didn't. And I was okay with that because daycare is so expensive, but she's mad because I can only have sex three. She's wanting more sex from him. He's like, I fuck her four or five times a week, but I really have a hard time. I'm taking the pills, but my doctor says they're bad for my heart.
Starting point is 00:49:35 The women are like, you piece of shit. You're not prioritizing her. You're prioritizing the mortgage. You cocksucker. I think both men and women on reddit are overly pro-woman i the one i was talking about i conflated a few but a woman had gained 30 pounds during pregnancy which is about normal rightish maybe 25 is better but 30
Starting point is 00:49:55 whatever and then she gained 30 60 more post-pregnancy so she gained 90 pounds total and the top comment advised her to advised him to write her a love letter twice a day. Like that fucking piece of shit. Gain 90 pounds. And your solution is to write two love letters a day. Yeah. How about cut the carbs? You cunt.
Starting point is 00:50:19 You can't gain 90 pounds. You can't gain 90 pounds. Hub of lard. Yeah, you can't. That needs to be a snack-based solution. So if I went to that Reddit and made a burner account, and I was like, put all the snacks on the top of the cupboard and hide the latter, because I'm not going to give up my snacks.
Starting point is 00:50:39 I didn't gain 90 pounds yet. You can't gain 90 fucking pounds. No. Do you think most of those commenters, though, are actual men and women split? Or do you think that it's a lot of dudes who are trying to be Reddit gentle sirs, like m'lady kind of guys who are like, oh, I would never treat my woman that way. I think it's probably that and then i think there's also women who like um you know they're not over something that
Starting point is 00:51:13 happened when they were in high school and now whenever they read any of these they're like they can't help but picture themselves in the situation as the woman and they're like well you know if you just wrote her a love note, maybe she'd lose the weight. It's like, eh, no, she wouldn't and you would not have either. Maybe it was your fault. It's like you're a woman posting on an online Reddit forum that doesn't bode well for your
Starting point is 00:51:36 BMI, like starting off. Let's get real. All your hot friends are drinking fucking zero calorie mochas right now. You know, all laughing. Your hot friends are on a fucking zero calorie mochas right now you know all laughing your friends are on a video-based social media platform yeah you were on a text-based one this doesn't look good you know like i don't i think that's a a truism is that no hot woman has ever used reddit no like you talk you don't you talk to a
Starting point is 00:52:02 you talk to a woman categories of hot crack dude? Okay, not pornography girls. Non-pornography girls. No, all hot women are pornography girls. What do you do here? They're not posting there. They're posting recipes and swimsuit try-ons on Instagram, I would imagine. They're not on...
Starting point is 00:52:20 Again, sometimes you'll go on someone's Reddit profile and you'll be like, that's a retarded take. And then you'll click on it and see their other participations. And it's like the balls of this guy to give relationship advice while he's addicted to downloading illegal hentai or something. Just seamlessly go from like, I got to quit gambling my life away. Please, I'm in the r slash gamblers anonymous. And then the next one is like, uh, physicist here.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Let me give you advice on the best way to repair your relationship with your fat wife. It's like, ugh, no. No. I assume most shit on Reddit is LARPing anytime I see those. Maybe that's negative. And maybe it's my own bias
Starting point is 00:53:05 because I know the only way I would ever comment on Reddit in those circumstances is if I was trying to upset people a little bit. Come in with a take that was a little offensive to them, but come off like concern troll, basically. Where that's what I would do.
Starting point is 00:53:22 I'd be like, oh man, guys, it's not her fault that she got so fat sometimes you just get to be fat and she'll always be fat and if you love her you got to learn to love more and just like leave that because they're not going to like it because it's technically supportive but they're going to be like oh did she gain 60 pounds in a year okay so in 10 years you'll be on that tv show oh yeah this is gonna be rough you get to that rapalette over time and you're a star baby there's fat and then there's like airsoft fatty fat another guy who was on fish tank i don't you were you were on while he was there right
Starting point is 00:53:58 yeah season one i trained him a little bit and then season two he was uh he was in the tank for the last like two three weeks yeah i saw him in the tank a good bit i didn't see him do boxing with you this season did you do any boxing with him that almost seems risky i just saw him fight frank castle no i didn't do boxing with him i think he did a little boxing with sam but um he he kind of avoid i won't say he avoided but he didn't do much physical activity this time around. Yeah, I don't blame him. He's very oddly shaped. Yeah, you get to a level of fat where I saw side profile shots, and it's accumulating in forehead.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Oh, yeah. Weird Danny DeVito body. It's odd, like a teeter-totter. A weeble wobble. Weeble wobble, yeah. Yeah, you can't knock him over. The ultimate fighter, he just rolls right back up. like like a teeter-totter what are those a weeble wobble weeble wobble yeah yeah yeah you can't knock him over the ultimate fighter he just rolls right back up he's got an overhang for his overhang yeah dude he was naked and i'm sure you were around him naked a good bit because
Starting point is 00:54:57 you were in there like he is a real life peter griffin he requires no censorship you could don't do it just in case zach but you could genuinely bring up a picture of him on screen right now, fully naked, standing, holding his like belly up a little bit. And you'd be like, nope, that doesn't upset terms of service. There's no penis there as far as I could see. Like it's it's it's astounding what that guy looks like. I don't even think an algorithm could identify him to tell you the truth. And I'm not even trying to be mean. I just think like,
Starting point is 00:55:29 I feel like an algorithm is looking at like a bunch of body types, but even for a really, really fat dude, he's so, uh, unique. Yeah. You know,
Starting point is 00:55:40 fat people look a certain way, but he's just like his own, his own thing. Yeah. Like you, it's such an odd proportion.'s just like his own thing. He does. It's such an odd proportion. He looks like he gets to drive a car crash. Dr. Who. Remember those weird people in Dr. Who that are all like that?
Starting point is 00:55:53 They have no neck and they're all thick? He looks like that. There's a Bloodhound Gang song where it's like, I'm hung like Pluto, hard to see with a naked eye. And that's him. That's funny. It's so weird. Have you seen that picture from eye. And that's him. That's right. It's so weird. Have you seen that picture from many years ago?
Starting point is 00:56:08 That's like, this is what the human body would have to look like to survive car crashes without airbags. Yeah, I think I know what you're talking about. Yeah, that's what he looks like. Like, he has that forehead. Because the demonstration of what the human body would have to look like is like a beyond wide torso it has like fat in the forehead almost like like a helmet over your right whale or whatever one of those whales that have the squishy heads oh the beluga whale yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:56:35 he is kind of like that i when i see someone that fat like i get it i've been i've been fat but it would be stealing fat valor to pretend i have any knowledge of what it's like to be his size but like that sucks like every second of like watching him on the screen made me tired because i was like imagining like him trying to get up on one leg if there wasn't a piece of furniture nearby or get up off his knees for something like it's a real struggle it's like you can see him like making mental calculations like all right one two three up like and being in your 20s and having to do that is a scary place i'm absolutely fixated on stealing fat valor as a comment like like if stealing valor gets you discounts at autozone
Starting point is 00:57:24 respect feeling fat valor makes you pay double at Golden Corral. Yeah. Yeah. I would never steal fat valor. Just like someone who gains like 20 pounds and gets to like 210, 220 or whatever at like my height. And it's like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:57:40 I've been fat. I'm like, don't you dare. Don't you dare act like you've stand you've stood where i stand like that's like that's yeah he's he is like a i can't look away from him like he'll be naked and i'll just be like ah like i i it's like you want to analyze it it's like what's going on here where It's like, what's going on here? Where is that fold? Where's the impetus of that fold?
Starting point is 00:58:08 You need to make sense of it. You need to square the circle. Make sure he's not a threat. That's basically it. He could be a threat. How tall is he? He's not a tall guy, right? No, he's short and he's stocky.
Starting point is 00:58:24 I want to say he's probably like 5'7", 5'8", somewhere around there. I could be wrong, though. I'm a horrible judge of height. But he's like probably 500 pounds. Definitely no lower than 350. Probably 400. Damn. What's his...
Starting point is 00:58:43 I didn't see him snacking a lot. How was he keeping the weight on? Uh, I don't know. I mean, probably a sedentary lifestyle to a degree, you know, but I don't know. You don't, you don't see people lose weight. You, you take a picture and then like six months down the road, you like compare, you know, maybe he lost weight over the three or so weeks. Cause even if, even if he ate a ton, it wasn't exactly like nutritious food. They were giving him like ramen for a couple of weeks and stuff. Yeah, that was one of the worst parts. Like you, that must have been hard to teach boxing because you're going in there and like, all right, everybody get energized.
Starting point is 00:59:18 And they're like, I've been I haven't had protein in in nine days i've been eating well i think early in the season sam bought them like like hundreds of boxes of grits oh yeah they had like grits to eat which is not what you need for combat sports i wouldn't think yeah there was i think it was the second or third day i was there um they they had ch had Chris Lynch come in. He was he kind of played the role of bartender and they had him drink for like, I want to say an hour or so. And then I come upstairs and I'm just like, all right, everybody, get your geese on. They were set up and I'm just sitting there and like they walk upstairs to get their geese. And I just hear I think it might have been Brian.
Starting point is 01:00:04 He's just like, fuck. He was just like like absolutely not happy that day oh yeah i you had to like try and motivate them i mean i imagine that class you taught after they had the cigarette smoking and hot dog eating contest was not the most fruitful for for them learning although if you can fight after that when can you not fight? That's a way to think about it. That's true. You get used to rolling around on slick surfaces and stuff like that.
Starting point is 01:00:33 Good for training. On the mats. There was a lot of vomit. Yeah, that was crazy. I would never participate as a contestant on a show like that like when i part of it is like like watching some parts of fish tank has the same feeling as like the first third of a scary movie where like you see all the contestants in there like laughing early on and i'm like no
Starting point is 01:01:01 no you don't know what's to come. It's going to be horrible. The psychic torture alone of just having to sit there trying to fall asleep at night and having people play mariachi bands and the sounds of people vomiting at you is nightmarish. Taylor, could you do well on that show? Terrible. I could not be a contestant. I think I'm too like I'd like four days in. I feel like I'd be like, I haven't gotten any sleep every time I fall asleep. They're fucking harassing me and I can't get back to bed because I'm like, I'm on fucking camera right now. You're probably doing something, you know, embarrassing.
Starting point is 01:01:37 Oh, man, you don't even know the real time feedback of what's going on. So as far as you know, everyone on Twitter is like, what a fat headed retard this guy is is he's insufferable everything he says and then the tts comes through and it's like taylor kill yourself and it's just that over and over and over and it's really easy really easy to sit on the outside of situations like that and be like who cares man just ignore it but like there is a point of breaking where you'd be like i can't i can't handle anyone who says just ignore it but like there is a point of breaking where you'd be like i can't i can't handle anyone who says just ignore it hasn't been hated by a hundred thousand people that day like try it and it it is hard to look at look past it it's they're spending money to insult you there's something interesting about that it's like every insult is a bullet that they had to pay
Starting point is 01:02:23 for to fire off it's like fuck you that cost me three dollars that's how much i meant oh yeah you could see like a lot of the fish got tougher throughout it but like one of the one of the the fish taily not the most you know not as big a looker as some of the other girls i'll say and like like one of the first tts's that she got hit with was like everyone in chat calling her trans every single one being like congratulations on your transition like like implying she's a man who is now a woman and her doing like being like her first response that was like i'm i'm trans. And like you could see her be like, the fuck do these people out there really think I'm so mannish that they think I'm trans? That's like and you see someone ruminate on that.
Starting point is 01:03:15 It's like, oh, that's the worst. That would be so difficult. It's incredibly mean. By the end, Sam even gave her an Adam's apple check. Yeah. She failed. Do you sleep on camera? Everything's on camera.
Starting point is 01:03:33 Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't want to sleep with a B-PAP in front of everybody. That would be one of my Achilles heels. Frank Castle would come in and break your B-PAP. They even had bathroom cans this time around. They had a lot of it like blurred out you know but um people would hear you like shitting pissing showering stuff like that oh yeah that would be i i would i would not want to shit in front of people
Starting point is 01:03:58 that would not be comfortable for me you don't poop in front of people no i would not want to shit in front of people i'm not asking if you want to i'm asking if they do it in the fish room oh yeah they they're shitting and like there's like a preset area of the bathroom cam that's pixelated so like you can see who goes in and you can see him sitting or you can go see them get in the shower or whatever but it's all that portion is pixelated so you can only see the non-nude part of the bathroom is pixelated so you can only see the non-nude part of the bathroom unpixelated wow are there any leaks like is the pixelation that effective uh yeah i mean i didn't look for anything yeah i was gonna say i mean i don't i don't look for that kind of stuff but i haven't seen anything myself you know like i've seen um i'm afraid do you know that tv show yeah yeah yeah yeah um they sometimes fail to pixelate
Starting point is 01:04:47 so all they need to do is miss one frame and the internet will get it and put it on there and no i didn't i haven't seen like i followed like the fish tank highlight accounts that like will post if something interesting is going on and i haven't seen any of that or i didn't see any of it while it was going on so pretty So better pixelization techniques than naked and afraid. I guess so, yeah. That's a big deal. But even then, I don't want the audio of my morning shit and people text to speeching me while I'm sitting there with no phone.
Starting point is 01:05:18 You're doing good, Taylor. You're doing good. You're doing good. Keep going. I've seen your penis and it's small. It's just sitting on the toilet you just be like oh just getting bullied just like do people go through like positive transformations on the show ever yeah oh yeah yeah like overwhelmingly all of them like the
Starting point is 01:05:37 final three seemed better the guy who won was like a neurotic like shake him up autistic weirdo when he got there he didn't stop moving the entire time and by the end like he really did kind of cut that out like he he really i think it was i think it was the fighting thing like doing that with you and sam i think that really bolstered his confidence which i imagine learning to fight really does pretty intrinsically yeah we hit him in the head a couple of times and the screws tightened up a little bit. Yeah. TJ did really good though. Um, we're, we're all really proud of him. Um, I, I, I think the top three definitely got better. Um, you know, and then like there's certain other situations where, um, you know, people, I feel like they learn something even just about themselves.
Starting point is 01:06:28 Plus, it's even worse with the TTS because it's not just that they're talking shit. It's that you have weirdos who are racking your stuff down. And when they quite literally found a video of her that she made when she was like 13. And it was like a cringe video. It was the God in anime meme. She did her own like version of that. Oh, okay. I'm not familiar with that meme.
Starting point is 01:06:53 But I mean, 13 year olds make cringe stuff. And she was getting bullied for that. I didn't see that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like everybody gets like everybody gets things found out about them. And, you know, like they'll get TTS is saying that like about that stuff. Um,
Starting point is 01:07:07 and I think on one level, like some people they sink, but other people swim because it's kind of a spiteful thing. And maybe there's a little bit of teamwork, like put in with each other. Cause they're like, well, we're in it together.
Starting point is 01:07:19 We might as well just say, fuck those guys. How do people get kicked out of the house? Does Sam choose to think, is there a vote? What is the mechanism for winning? Uh, it, as well just say fuck those guys how do people get kicked out of the house does sam choose do they is there a vote what is the mechanism for winning uh it it depends um this season we had quite a few people who they left on their own for one reason or another i think uh i think they thought they could hack it and they figured out they couldn't yeah um and uh that'd be me yeah that'd be me it'd probably be me too i like to think i could but i don't know
Starting point is 01:07:46 if i could um right and then other than that there's like elimination challenges and stuff like that and then sometimes there's twists like uh there was this dude jimmy he um he got kicked off like suddenly they didn't like there was no warning they were just like jimmy you're off the show but that was just a diversion so that they could get him downstairs to paint his face with joker makeup and then come back up and the real elimination was who was going to be sacrificed to bring joker jimmy back yeah so and i remember yeah jimmy was an interesting character and then it turns out he was an honest to god loon uh at the end of it which i don't think should be surprising like you could you could kind of tell the way he behaved the whole time like this guy's not all
Starting point is 01:08:29 there he's a fucking weirdo yeah the the only thing worse than somebody who goes on a reality show like that and stays is someone who knew about the reality show and everything that it entailed and was like no i'm gonna do that i'm gonna go on that and uh that's that's i think what a lot of the contestants were including jimmy because he actually he came with a whole dossier of like i'm gonna make this joke i'm gonna send uh messages to people um you know if you send a tts that's for me uh use this code word and i found out about it i want to say like week two or week three and um it was just like bizarre you know jimmy's like i don't hate him but he definitely you know he came off a little weird at best yeah at absolute best he came off as a fucking weirdo yeah damn so you're i assume season three is gonna happen right oh yeah yeah Oh yeah. Yeah. Season three is, uh, has been confirmed.
Starting point is 01:09:26 Nice. Are you going to, you'll be a part of that one as well. Continue with the box and stuff. Um, yeah. I mean, if, if they, if they want and need me, I'm down. Um, you know, I, I, anything I know right now, I'm not gonna, I wouldn't necessarily say cause, um, yeah, I think that's Sam and Jet. That's, that's their, uh, wheelhouse is to be, you know, leaking info and stuff like that. I do know a little bit, but I don't want to take the chance of them being like, dude, we don't want you to say that.
Starting point is 01:09:52 Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. Did you ever, like when you fought professional, like in real fights, I'll say, did you ever get absolutely shit on and think about quitting because i put myself in that headspace of fighters sometimes oh yeah um my first fight um so like i said i wasn't ever really like horrible necessarily like i went into it with a little bit of training um and i think that definitely kind of made me a little bit cocky because i was offered a fight with a guy who i should not have been fighting he was like the captain of his college wrestling team which if you talk to
Starting point is 01:10:35 brandon buckingham i know you have like yeah he'll tell you that means the dude's like legit legit that's like practically a jujitsu black belt right there um you know he and he also kind of undersold his experience a little bit like i was like the third or fourth guy that got offered him and the other people before me they did a little research they did some googling they were like no like i was told this but that's not true he's really a lot better. Um, so I ended up taking the fight without doing any research and it was, it was, it was bad. Basically we came out, I didn't know you were supposed to signal a glove touch before you did it. I didn't know you're supposed to be like, Hey bud, you want to touch gloves? I just went out there trying to touch gloves. Uh, he came over the top with a
Starting point is 01:11:20 right hand and then with a left hook. um that was it wasn't over then who was in your corner who was in my corner uh my coach his name's mike okay yeah you should have you should include you into the protocol yeah yeah that that would have been nice but i i don't i don't think he was really thinking about it you know um what was i gonna say oh yeah and i got him back i hit him with a jab cross and i kind of saw his eyes shift like i know i heard him but then he shot in for the takedown and i spent the rest of the fight just on my back getting like destroyed like um i had a giant bruise down here blood vessels in the eye pop he broke his hand on my head damn yeah he was playing you showed him so for like like three for like three
Starting point is 01:12:10 weeks after that you're just having to walk around like ah oh my fucking my whole face for fucking 12 weeks he was like ouch my can't hold a dinner plate so he's really the winner here yeah who got set back more? I mean, it, it was, it actually, the face wasn't the worst part. Um,
Starting point is 01:12:29 I dislocated my knee in the third round and I was stupid. I didn't bother to go to a doctor about it. I was like, no, I'm sure it's fine. It's fine. It either needs surgery or it's fine. And if it needs surgery,
Starting point is 01:12:40 I'll know in three months when it hasn't improved. Um, so I kind of walked around with a fucked up knee for a while and i popped it back in a couple months later like by mistake um yeah yeah it was it was nasty it was disgusting how is it now do you think you recovered all the way uh i still have some issues with it like there's some inflammation that happens every now and again but i'm basically like okay have you been to the doctor yet? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:07 And they didn't want to take a look at it, you know, like, because the thing is, I popped it back in, right? I jumped up to grab a tree branch. I was drunk and I was like, I'm going to do fucking pull-ups. And of course I slip. And when I hit the ground, I felt and heard a pop followed by the worst pain I've ever heard felt in my life. And like a week later, it was basically back to 100. So I was like, well, I guess the problem solved itself. And when I did go to the doctor, I was like, oh, yeah, I dislocated my knee once.
Starting point is 01:13:38 And they were like, what do you learn this one trick? Doctors hate him. But I went to him and I was like oh yeah i dislocated my knee a while ago and i just never went to you about it and he's like what are you talking about i was like my my knee like it popped out and then it popped back in later and he's like no all right i ain't gonna argue with you man all right as long as your knee works damn so they just didn't care no it seems 100 you walked in it you have full faith in your knee yes oh my bad um yeah yeah i i have i have enough faith in it you know like i said there's a little inflammation um if i step wrong it'll like the only way i can
Starting point is 01:14:22 describe it is i feel like it kind of does that right um but like i've that was my first fight i've had like six or seven fights plus like other exhibitions and things like that since then so you know i've never had like a real issue with it other than that have you ever had like the opposite happen in a fight where you got into it and you realized like oh hell yeah this dude sucks and you just got to just piece him up i imagine that is satisfying as a fighter it probably takes some self-control yeah yeah it's um yeah there's there's been a couple of times like that it was mostly exhibitions because exhibitions it's just like you know we call them smokers like who showed up that day?
Starting point is 01:15:05 This guy is about that guy's size. We'll just pair them up. So when you get in there and it's some dude who's like windmilling at you, you're just like, oh, good. I can kind of work a little bit. My last fight was kind of like that, but I still lost because I injured the same fucking knee. I have had very bad luck with this knee.
Starting point is 01:15:24 He didn't land a single punch or kick, but we threw knees at the same time and i've had very bad luck with this knee um he didn't land a single punch or kick but we threw knees at the same time and they just did that and uh i got the worst of it so oh that's not yeah yeah there's there's injuries in fighting people don't talk about i talk about mine you know but like i've probably gotten off lucky if i'm being honest with you. I've fractured my skull. There was like a hairline fracture here. Really? Was that from someone punching you? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:52 Yeah, that was a punch. With a hand. Okay. Holy shit. I didn't know you could fracture skulls that easily with a punch. Yeah, yeah. It's a rough game. People don't really understand it on that level. And I'm not trying to sound like, know, people don't really understand it on that level.
Starting point is 01:16:05 And I'm not trying to sound like, oh, people don't understand. But, like, people, like, I can't tell you how many times. And even, like, my first fight, I lost it. And it's like, hindsight, I know I shouldn't have taken that fight. But I'm walking around, and people are seeing me, and they're like you lost dude dude really as if it's like what like what why are you like disappointed in that way you know did you think that was the best because i don't even think i'm the best you know like you're gonna lose some just depends on who you fight um unless maybe you think you're the best oh yeah yeah yeah 170 move over fucking
Starting point is 01:16:48 islam or whatever yeah and i think i kind of needed that a little bit too because um muted leon edwards i'm muted no no kyle is edwards is 170 okay you needed to get beat like that you think i think you're right oh yeah yeah because when i was when i was originally fighting i wasn't taking it as seriously as i should have i was like skipping like uh work jesus well work too you know i was skipping training to like smoke weed with my boys and shit like that and also i had this weird like outlook where it's like oh dude my first amateur fight bro dude i'm gonna win this fight i'm gonna beat the shit out of the guy. Dana White is going to call me personally. He's going to be like, yo, dude, we want you in the UFC, bro. Dude, what do I got to do to get you in the UFC, dude?
Starting point is 01:17:32 You're 1-0 as an amateur. There's not that many undefeated fighters for us to go after. That's a good point. But, yeah, I think i needed to i think i needed to get that knocked out of me a little bit you know did uh is that the only sport you ever played or did you play other ones growing up no i um i played everything i did pop warner football once i played uh high school a couple years but I had to stop wrestling. Baseball was like the sport that I played for years. It was like three seasons at a certain point. I gave up on almost everything else.
Starting point is 01:18:15 No, I'm a lifelong athlete. This is just kind of the continuation of what I was doing when I was a kid. That's an interesting transition from like baseball to fighting with your fists or i guess you said you you fought as a kid too like boxing like just no i didn't fight as a kid my uh my dad taught me um how to throw like jab cross hook um and then i think from there i was just like oh like i want to do this because i kind of looked up to my dad and he trained he didn't't fight. He just trained because, you know, when you're in Boston in the 70s, you get into you get into street fights. So I think I should know how to fight, you know, and I think it just kind of blossomed from there. But because like baseball is probably a better choice than getting hit in the head. Yeah. More money in it. Safer. Yeah. Yeah. They were like, oh, like let's do, let's do baseball, which I wanted to be a baseball player when I grew up.
Starting point is 01:19:08 And like, I'm not saying I would have, um, I'm just saying that I think I had a better chance than a lot of people out there, you know, cause my, uh, my brother and myself, I got two cousins. One of them, uh, was signed to the diamond backs though. He got hurt. So they released him and now he's playing semi-pro. We were mad good. What position did you play? I played third and first base. What did you play, Kyle, when you were baseballing? Mostly pitched or in the outfield.
Starting point is 01:19:38 Pitched or in the outfield? Is that a normal combination? I didn't. I mean, I was a kid, Taylor. I don't know. I thought, I was a kid, Taylor. I don't know. I thought you played in high school. Yeah, one year. Oh.
Starting point is 01:19:52 If you could go back, would you do all four? No. No, I was worried about the rape allegations that I'd heard on the baseball team. You thought they were going to rape you? Well, they raped that other kid. Oh, fuck. Were they good? that other kid oh fuck were they good at baseball were they good did you like it no they they raped that other kid with a coke bottle on the bus because they
Starting point is 01:20:16 didn't like him so i didn't think i wanted to be on that sort of team oh my god the narrow end right oh i mean i mean modern modern Coke bottles have that weird... It's not even a corkscrew. It's that weird sort of... There's a two-liter. There's a lip. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's unfortunate.
Starting point is 01:20:31 So I heard about that. I didn't want to be part of that team because then they kind of covered it up and nobody talked about it. Oh, wow. I didn't want to be part of that. That's wild. I've talked about that before.
Starting point is 01:20:41 That really spooked me out of baseball in high school. I was like, they raped a kid on the bus? Like, yes. They filed a police report. Well, but... Jeez. Okay, I get it. I get why you didn't join the team.
Starting point is 01:20:55 You saw it as like, you got out quick. Like, all right, I got out before I fully... My spring of puberty came into bloom, and I was like the new sexy guy on the team. Yeah. I don't think they raped him because they thought he was hot. I think they just didn't like that guy, so they wanted to put a bottle up his ass.
Starting point is 01:21:14 So they held him down and raped him with a bottle. That's horrible. I choose to believe there was a little love involved, a little intimacy. I feel like there's one of those at every every like either every high school or like every year there's the high school where that happens like when i was in school um uh there was a bridgewater rainham i remember that which i i know like you guys are like where the fuck is that why do i care but uh we heard they were doing it with broomsticks
Starting point is 01:21:42 for the freshmen nice yeah yeah which is like, holy shit. And then I think my town's hockey team, I think theirs was they would piss on each other in the shower. Man, that's a stroll in the park compared to each other. In the shower? That's like my favorite place to get pissed on. Yeah, that guy in the back of the bus on the baseball team. That's also my favorite. I prefer the ocean. I was in the back of the bus on the baseball team is also my favorite.
Starting point is 01:22:05 I was going to say, in the ocean underwater might be... Sidle up to me in the waves and let rip, buddy. I don't care. I do, but it's definitely my favorite place. Yeah. There was a bunch of stuff like that. It was always something...
Starting point is 01:22:21 Something kind of gay, usually. It was something kind of gay and something sexual um i know that our what kind of coach was he one of the football coaches there's like six it's like how many middle-aged white guys who can't teach english at all for get a job as a coach there and it didn't make any sense because we had such a small team but he got caught having sex um like in his office with an adult though like someone walked in and caught him with an adult but the problem was she's also a teacher who's married whose son goes to school hmm now the sun is in
Starting point is 01:22:59 the mix there that's no good everybody liked him so we just it's interesting when you're popular because if it had been someone ever nobody liked it would have been there'd been like a school chant at the next football game or something but because i like to this day i like him enough that i won't say his name so in my high school um a guy died there was it was It was reckless driving, basically. And one guy died and a couple other people were hurt. But he was popular. And the whole school treated it like I guess it is the biggest tragedy.
Starting point is 01:23:35 But everyone was, not me, but people were almost competing to act like they were close to the victim. And to watch that social dynamic play, they're like, Leslie didn't even know him. And she's acting like her boyfriend just died or whatever. they were close to the victim and yeah to watch that social dynamic player they're like you know leslie didn't even know him and she's acting like her boyfriend just died or whatever yeah i remember when my buddy died in high school john scott died in a car accident he had a super sport camaro he
Starting point is 01:23:56 had only had for a couple months he was going so fast apparently i imagine bad purchase yeah anyway um but i just remember like it was she wasn't his girlfriend. Molly. Don't like you. Fucking Molly. She sounds fat. But she was. Her mom was.
Starting point is 01:24:17 But it was because of some medicine she had. Now she is. Yeah. Maybe. The doctor prescribed her. The doctor prescribed me 200 grams of saturated fat a day and i listened to my doctor sodium's far too low man what are you doing we're gonna get some kfc in you have you tried the bowls so molly uh he made a big deal out of like oh i don't have a prom date now woe is me and it's like I don't have a prom date now. Woe is me. And it's like, we don't have a friend anymore.
Starting point is 01:24:45 He's never coming back. Like, nobody cares about you. Do you have a prom date, bitch? I remember. Was he her prom date? Yeah. Well, she maybe lost a friend, too. No?
Starting point is 01:24:57 Nah, it was one of those like, hey, you got anybody? Nah, anyway. Yeah, let's go together. Sure. It was one of those. So you have a date date. Yeah. Okay. You just wanted a chance to get laid that night and he's like you just want a girl with you know you don't want to go alone if you're a guy especially you know it's yeah um so a lot of guys went to prom with just guy friends like that's a bad look guy friends right it sounds
Starting point is 01:25:23 crazy to other people but dude we had guys who were popular and attractive who could get girls who just chose not to girls would try to pick them up at the prom at the prom that is like that's the whole because that's all it's like a that's the whole like ritual that you're doing right with the corsage and picking her up in the limo and the whole i don't know if the limo is a thing everywhere. I don't know if you all did that, but we had a limo every year. We usually had... I didn't have a limo.
Starting point is 01:25:50 I picked up my date in my 99 Honda Accord. Yeah, I think the first year we got a stretch navigator because our Kelly song was big. The next year we got a stretch Hummer. It was like four couples five couples of course my date's the only one who can't afford it so i'm playing double um it was yeah right that's that's not that's disrespectful i'm confused all the guys in my
Starting point is 01:26:17 time paid double like the girls just bought girls had their own expenses their dress costs a lot and oh that's a good point hair done and shit like that but the guys paid for they rented a tux and they paid for the limo nah the girls paid too except for mine um but she did say early on she's like i'm not chipping in for a stretch um and then you were like you'll end up chipping in and then end of the night you're going to be taken away don't worry my dad will pay for it he's got this this one's on Lamar absolutely
Starting point is 01:26:52 I wish somebody died in my high school I don't think there was any I don't think there were any good ones anyone I could think of that died nobody that you cared about anyway did you have the over dramatized car accident at the at the exit of your school parking lot to show what could happen if you're not careful it was on the school's front lawn i think we got a video like
Starting point is 01:27:17 at a real display and this car was fucked like it was you could recognize what car it used to be i guess but not obviously not by shape like it was it was mangled they took two wrecked cars and put them together and staged a car accent just when you pulled out of the school you go left or right obviously but just across the street there's a church and there's a big parking lot there that that they used for this display and they got the fire trucks and the ambulance and they got fake smoke or some shit to cars. And just people are out there like fake bodies, like crumpled up with sheets and stuff. And as you're leaving to go home to get dressed for prom. This is the deterred drunk driving, right?
Starting point is 01:28:00 Driving, reckless driving or whatever. We also had cops come to the school and talk to us about drunk driving. I think it worked, actually, because the reason limos were so prominent in my school was the drunk driving threat. Did you guys get the scary STD pictures?
Starting point is 01:28:18 No. Or did they bring in... You guys went to really nice dramatization styles. Maybe they brought a real person in. The closest thing I ever... you poke and prod at them. It just got warts down there. It's like, oh, ew. Don't end up like Genevieve over here.
Starting point is 01:28:31 You should see my butthole. It's prostitute. Yeah, they call me fucking Bumblebee or whatever the fuck they call it. Ladybug. Ladybug. Yeah, that's what they call it. Lindsey Graham's ladybug. Cool.
Starting point is 01:28:42 No, we never got any photos or really any sex education, if I'm being honest. Like I remember there was maybe a week or two of mandatory health sex education attached to gym. So when you took that one required by the state of Georgia semester of gym or whatever it it was two weeks of that was in a classroom talking about like i don't know penises and vaginas or whatever the basics yeah the very basics and then you went back to you know dodgeball and running around the track and lifting weights or whatever right after that and it was never brought up again i know i don't think i ever got like a real sex talk like from anyone ever um i know i got a sex talk from my mom when i was way too young for it like i think i was like six oh i had like it was like within a calendar
Starting point is 01:29:35 a couple calendar years of like her shutting down santa it may have been that same year shuts down santa and i was over at my older buddy's house stewart and like by older buddy i mean like i'm six and he's eight and a half or something and our younger brothers are the same age so like i got to know him and we'd play and i guess he was allowed to watch a lot more on tv than i was and so he like talked about sex and i remember just being like oh like this is so befuddling and like i got in the car in the back of the van. I can see this in my mind's eye. Like I'm in the back of the van and I just asked my mom, like, I bring up something about what Stuart said. And she gave me like the penis in vagina sex talk on the way home
Starting point is 01:30:20 as I'm like six. And I still remember having the feeling of like just a whole new world a new reality of like oh that's what you and dad are doing like oh my god what the fuck no she didn't have that talk with my youngest brother though because many years later because my youngest brother seven years uh or so younger than me and he had neighborhood friends who were both his age they were all like i guess seven or eight and he would go over there and play and eventually his parent that his friend's parents shut it down because they said he was a bad influence and he went over there and i guess would tell them what sex was totally incorrectly like and so these two like eight year old like three eight-year-old kids
Starting point is 01:31:05 were all talking about like yeah you like like literally like pee in her butt levels of sex knowledge on how pregnancy works and then my like my younger brother got in trouble my mom was like you cannot be telling them that and you certainly can't be telling them that it's anal sex like that that kind of thing and it was yeah i never that won't get it at all i was probably just a little older than you maybe seven or eight and uh i learned about sex from this girl in the neighborhood no touching anything she's just talking and like to i think what happened is she somehow conflated and it made me very frightened. Sex that we all know about and a C-section. And she kind of combined those two things into one awful procedure.
Starting point is 01:31:54 And I don't know. I came home to my mom describing just what a scary, bloody mess this would be. And she's like, no, no, no. You got a bunch of things wrong. And she laid it out and explained it properly i was still somewhat traumatized and this is like part of woodworth lore at this point i asked my mother if she would hold my hand the first time and she said you lying bitch said she would it didn't follow through
Starting point is 01:32:24 you're like you're like 17 years old like oh hold on sweetheart mom it's happening get over here the girl's running no she'll hold your hand where's your dad is he gonna hold your hand hey let me put her on the phone
Starting point is 01:32:41 where'd she fucking get out again that was intimidating as a kid though just having that open to you is like uh oh my god this is what's going on we had a farm so i think i saw like cows going at it and i was like what's going on there and dad's like that's sex that's where babies come from that's and was like, oh! He's like, that's where people come from, too. And I was like, out of cows? This is the most redneck origin story ever.
Starting point is 01:33:13 You know, there's literally a field of cows in the backyard. Fuck it. It's hard to avoid it. Did you ever get the sex talk, Scott, from either parent? Not from a parent, but I got the sex talk while my dad was there and what i mean by that is like like i grew up in massachusetts so that you know it was like fucking weird but uh fifth grade we got told about aids all right um and then sixth grade uh they had this thing where it was after school um and they had a bunch of dudes show up with their dads and we had to watch a tape, right?
Starting point is 01:33:48 Why their dads? It's extra awkward that way. Maybe so they could answer questions later. That's terrible. Be on the same base as your kid when you go home to review the... So you had to sit there and watch with your your dad oh yeah and my my dad is like uh he's that like uh boston irish catholic like like what the fuck you mean you love me what are you a pussy he's he's one of those guys oh shit yeah so like i'm just sitting here next to
Starting point is 01:34:20 him and he's like i'm just waiting for him to do or say something and luckily it didn't come but i'm just like watching this and it's like like um infographics and stuff like that about like dick and vagina and uh they handed out this like flyer thing and he was supposed to fill it out but i i did it by mistake and i was like sitting here like why did it have to be so graphic i'm like asking these questions on the thing. It was just like that was I try to forget about that whenever I can. I hope he doesn't remember it. It can be awkward to like watch
Starting point is 01:34:54 a movie with your parents and then like, oh man, I know there's going to be like a whole rape scene here. Like it's awkward whenever I watch The Sopranos through with someone. There's like a really violent rape at one point and it's like, do I warn them the rape's coming? Because I watch The Sopranos through with someone, there's a really violent rape at one point. It's like, do I warn them the rape's coming? Because I watch it with
Starting point is 01:35:09 girlfriends. When Dr. Melfi gets raped in the stairwell by the sandwich shop employee. By the baseball team? Yeah. I mean, maybe. He was Dominican. I was watching, this was years ago now, I was watching, this was years ago now,
Starting point is 01:35:30 I was watching Gone Girl with both my grandparents, one of my younger brothers, maybe both my younger brothers, and my mom at my mom's condo. We were all watching Gone Girl, which is like that Ben Affleck movie. And at one point, that's it, right? Casey Affleck. I don't know know one of them but it's about that that woman and she is trying to like stage a a rape am i thinking wrong you're right yeah i'm thinking of gone baby gone my bad yeah gone girl and so she the woman is like like a crazy she's like out to to ruin ben affleck's life and so she like gets in a room by herself
Starting point is 01:36:07 at one point in the story and like takes a wine bottle and is like putting it in herself like in a violent way to like simulate what it would be like if she were raped and she's like doing that like grimacing and like it goes on for way too long and like when they're like grandparents like my younger brothers i don't care like we'll watch whatever but like my grandparents i'm like and then my mom and my mom's sitting there watching and she turns and she like looks at us and she's like she's simulating what it would she's trying to make it look like she's with the wine bottle. Don't. And I'm like,
Starting point is 01:36:46 mom, we know. Why would you say that right now? Like we're all trying to get through this scene together. If there were snacks in your kitchen, I'd be up right now. Like that's how serious I am. I went with my grandmother and my grandfather to watch alien resurrection.
Starting point is 01:37:02 And there's a weird scene three quarters of the way through where sigourney weaver basically has sex with an alien and i understood it at the time what i was probably 10 11 12 uh alien resurrection is the fourth one um and uh she's it's like holding her and there's rocking and she's her eyes are it's clear like and then they make a baby afterwards, but none of that matters. It's clear they're fucking. And I got it, but we didn't talk about it. Is it consensual? Yeah, more or less. It's weird.
Starting point is 01:37:34 It's a weird scene. At this point, she has been resurrected from the dead, but her DNA that they had to clone her had alien contamination, so she's kind of half alien herself. So it's not so weird for her to fuck an alien.
Starting point is 01:37:48 She's got acid blood and stuff in this movie. It's pretty cool. We're in the car leaving and my grandmother is like, What's going on there? What's going on there? And me and my pop are looking at each other like, we're both feeling
Starting point is 01:38:06 the exact same awkward feeling. Because that alien was holding her, and then the baby came out. Were they having sex? And me and my pop at the same time go, Yes! Yes!
Starting point is 01:38:21 Stop! Stop, granny! We don't want to talk about fucking alien sex. Rotten Tomatoes is talk about dude that should be like rotten tomatoes is a site there should be a site that tells you if it's like like grandparent appropriate viewing because if like like every time i'm at my grandparents house usually at the end of the night me and my brothers my grandparents will all like watch a movie or something and always like something starts getting that way and i'm like no no no no please please please please please like that that whole uh killers of the flower moon whoo there were some close calls in that one like it would be the intro to this like they're making out and feeling each other up and i'm like all right we
Starting point is 01:39:01 can just we can get out of this we can get out of this guys and thankfully there were no like real sex scenes in there so it wasn't super awkward to watch with my grandparents expensive it's just it's fucking weird because it's one of those things that like if you would have talked to like me at 20 and been like hey taylor when you're like 32 you're not gonna care who you're watching that stuff with right and i'd be like oh like i was in your 30s like a real adult no of course not and then now being there, it's like, no, you still have the same thoughts about everything. And the same things still embarrass you. And that makes me think like, oh, damn, my grandparents are sitting there.
Starting point is 01:39:33 They're like 80. They're thinking the exact same thing where they're like, oh, God, this lady's going to take her titties out and, you know, foe suck a dick in front of me and my grandkids right now. Yeah, well, it's, it's not what any of us want. None of us want that. Wait, do you want that? If you could, I'm kidding.
Starting point is 01:39:51 Like I do the reality. This is how sex scenes went down in my house. And I was little, my parents totally down for it. Comfortable as can be in their own skin. Just like eating popcorn. My brother and I also excited that there's a sex scene on pretending we hate it my brother would like blow these big raspberries like boobs and i would be like like covering my eyes but
Starting point is 01:40:13 not pretending that i'm not thrilled that they're having so it was a family activity for you guys yeah oh yeah woody had a very sex positive household. Gather round, everyone! Kyle and I, I believe, have said that Woody's household was entirely too sex positive. A little bit of good old Christian shame. There was no shame in my house. They did a weird one, because I bet they wouldn't like it now, right? Because they're very religious at this point. They're all about being fruitful. That's probably a part of organized religion they like the most being fruitful multiplying yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:40:51 no there's still sex positive my parents have taken a a very christian turn like super duper christian they go to bible studies several times a week sort of christian and uh uh but no they're still down like i i don't want to reveal medical histories, but surgeries will come and stuff. My father's under the fentanyl? Profit pill? I don't know. And he's just like, we've got to preserve this
Starting point is 01:41:15 legendary sex life. We can't take any breaks. Like to the nurses. You guys don't understand. It's like you're operating on a basketball player's knee here. we gotta get back into pro shape again that'd be good i mean you're definitely healthier than the average person in your 70s if you're still fucking regularly that's that's cardio it's been strong yeah Good for them. I hope when I'm 80, I'm still fucking. Just.
Starting point is 01:41:49 I hope I'm dead. You don't want to be dead. Yeah. Just like, I'm like, I'm like fucking like, yeah. I think my father just turned 77. If not, then 77 is a good guess. With plus or minus one year. That's his age.
Starting point is 01:42:04 He still rides his bike 20 miles a day. That's crazy. That's a lot. I'm looking at an even 50. That's where I want to go. You're looking for 50? You're 37. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:13 13 to go. That's almost done. 13 to go. Thank God. It's been 13 more years, though. We'll be done. No, give me... I want to make it into the sevens.
Starting point is 01:42:25 Into the sevens? Into the sevens? Yeah. I'm torn, because when I was Kyle's age, I probably would have agreed with 50. But now that I'm 50, I'm like, eh, no, 50's a little early to stop. Yeah. Circle back at 55.
Starting point is 01:42:40 We'll see what's up. Circle back at 70. Like, it's only really... I just, I never understand that when i hear people say stuff like oh yeah i want to be dead by 48 or like oh i'm gonna i want to cash out at 60 it's like why yeah unless until it gets really terrible and like it hurts to wake up in the morning like at that point i get it like if you're waking up in pain every day and your whole body just cool athletic stuff and too young to be president apparently yeah you can get to like 80 80 and start a career
Starting point is 01:43:10 in politics by that point it'll probably be even loonier than it is now i want to check in with you at this juncture as it is february 1st first day of black history month congrats everyone on your many accomplishments thank you you. Too far. Too far. Nothing. The many accomplishments thing. It's their month. God damn it.
Starting point is 01:43:36 Are you saying they haven't done a good job, Woody? They've got their own anthem at the Super Bowl. I think they're winning. Okay? 80% of the players probably, you and I about a year ago, me place, a small wager on the presidency. How are you? What's your confidence level at this point?
Starting point is 01:43:52 Because I, I was dollars, right? Mine changes all the time. The bets. If I recall, we made two bets. One was the Republican primary and I got everybody except Trump.
Starting point is 01:44:05 And on that one, losing confidence. Losing confidence fast. It is still, I think, more likely than most years to have a Black Swan event where somebody either dies or like prison or something. A lot of old folks. You get to that age, anything can happen. Yeah, yeah. So like Obama, for example, after he got the nomination, he got it, right?
Starting point is 01:44:24 He was going to be the guy on the. But Trump. We don't know till the last day that he's going to be the guy on the ballot. So but I still feel like I'm most likely to lose that. What was your other one, though? Because who was going to win? The general was the other one. OK. And it would be a wash. I think they're both in that case. I also got everybody but Trump. But I'm not positive. Sure. I might have just had Biden. Well, there's a difference. Biden could100. I think in that case, I also got everybody but Trump, but I'm not positive. Sure.
Starting point is 01:44:46 I might have just had Biden. Well, there's a difference because Biden could die. You know what I mean? Newsom versus Trump is like not unrealistic because Biden and Trump every day could be their last day. Yeah. Kamala even. Isn't that wild to have the people like who are running so old that like if both of them died on like the same day it'd be like that's life like there'd be nobody would be like oh there's they used a heart the cia used a heart attack gun to use a dart and it's like no they both died look at them they're old that's how i am with the kids that's making
Starting point is 01:45:18 the super bowl like ah there's gotta be something fishy about that by the way that heart attack gun doesn't shoot a dart they They're the modern Patriots. But Zach said I had everyone other than Trump in both boats. So I'm good. I'm glad that I was past Woody was clever and set myself up. We'll roll the tape
Starting point is 01:45:37 back. We'll get the exact word in. What were the amounts though? I think it was a hundred bucks. Was it dual hundreds? Maybe. I don't really care about any of that. I'm just wondering. I want to take your temperature. The temperature is I think it's going to be a push. I think I'm going to win the general and I'm going to lose the primary bet.
Starting point is 01:45:56 Did I bet, Zach? The temperature is that you think Biden you're confident in Biden at this juncture. Yeah, I think Biden will beat most likely Biden beats Trump in the general. That's how I think it's even with a looming civil war and the Houthis on attack. Even with that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:13 Honestly, I think that the Israel issue will be as much in the rearview mirror as the Ukraine issue is now. Like Ukraine, you remember, it sort of dominated our attention a year ago-ish. Now, no one's watching it. The YouTubers I watch who would give daily updates on it, these are like Ukrainians, so it's biased. They don't even make videos anymore. Why are you guys not interested anymore?
Starting point is 01:46:37 They don't want to cover losing. It's just a stalemate. By the time we don't care about Israel, Trump will be the president, though. That's the timeline if you're apples to apples. I think six months. Six months was too late. We're two months in, right? So it'll be April.
Starting point is 01:46:54 The people that you're counting on to forget are Arabs who think their people are being genocided. Well, they are being genocided. That's why they think that. Yeah, that does seem to be what's happening yeah yeah well i don't think they'll forget don't you pay attention to that footage you know all that footage don't don't pay attention to that hey they're going back to tolkien do you remember what thorin he never forgave and he never forgot and that's how the
Starting point is 01:47:23 arabs are and that's how they're going to be in michigan and minnesota all up there in those countries where they have those counties where they happily flooded with immigrants dreamers if you will fish um who have those people are not going to vote for biden so you're right i agree with that i don't know if they're going to vote for trump either like it trump will do if you ask Trump how he would handle Israel, he'll just be like, it had never happened if I was president. The power of my personality would have prevented that war. Yeah, there'd be peace in the Middle East because I'm there. I would whatever's unpopular right now. I wouldn't do it. But believe me, and you can you can listen to this. Believe me.
Starting point is 01:48:02 Yeah, I definitely wouldn't get on my knees. Your plan is to suck off Bibi Netanyahu to completion. That definitely wouldn't be what I would do. I think they don't like each other now. They don't like each other. Trump also has a very – He took shots at Bibi when it happened and said it was a failure of his for allowing it to happen. All right.
Starting point is 01:48:15 Good. I'm not denying that. But like Trump and Lindsey Graham, Trump and Ted Cruz, Trump and a long list of people were mortal enemies who became friends. So I think if Trump thought it was in his best interest to be friends with Bibi, he'd just flip on it. He'd turn on a dime. You can see who Trump leaves the room to be friends again. Nikki Haley's out. They're not going to be friends.
Starting point is 01:48:42 They might be. I don't even know if she'll ever endorse him when she drops out. I don't think she'll give him her endorsement or whatever. Like they all do. I don't think she'll bend the knee. Ted Cruz didn't. Well, Ted Cruz bent the knee in other ways, right? He needed that federal money. Stoic killer. He needed that federal money because he's in Texas. I'm just saying it seems like it's never too late. But carry on.
Starting point is 01:49:06 Make your point. Yeah, I think I think that people like Chris Christie, he's on the he's not coming back into the fold. He's been too mean. And Trump has been to me. And Trump said something to this like this the other day. He's like they asked if maybe Haley could be his VP pick. And he's like, you know, sometimes you say something about people and, uh,
Starting point is 01:49:27 you know, how's that going to be your VP now? And I remember what you asked me a few weeks ago. You asked you, she could be a V. I said, she's a lightweight. She's a lightweight.
Starting point is 01:49:35 How am I going to have somebody been by VP that I myself have said was a lightweight wouldn't work. And it's like, yeah, you're right. He's almost saying like, no, I ruled her out when I said that.
Starting point is 01:49:46 I say nicer mean things about the people I intend to make my VP. It's funny because, like, again, Lindsey Graham, Ted Cruz, they were hard rivals, right? The Ted Cruz, what do you say his father was a serial killer? His wife was ugly and his daddy was the Zodiac killer. Yeah. Right? And they bounced back from that that to me is like all the way that scorched earth and then it unscorched that's no there's no way they like that says more about ted cruz than donald trump though yeah i was gonna say ted cruz and a lot of these guys though that they'd like do anything just
Starting point is 01:50:22 yeah lindsey gra Graham said harsh shit about Trump also. Lindsey Graham was like, he's going to destroy the Republican Party and we're going to deserve it. Now the Democrats played out on a loop. See, it happened. I don't know what Ted Cruz said about Trump, but I'm sure it was some awful stuff.
Starting point is 01:50:42 Yeah, they go back and forth. They're politicians. They see the way the wind is blowing and then they act accordingly. So Taylor's agreeing with my point, which is sometimes when these things seem dead and gone, they can come back. And Trump has an ability to
Starting point is 01:50:57 forgive because he's really more calculated than emotional. Well, he's both. Yeah. What do you think, Scott? Do you give a shit who who wins i'd prefer trump but i i don't think i don't i'm not as confident as kyle yeah i mean i used to pay a lot of attention to politics but i'm out of the loop now i guess i would rather have trump than biden because fucking i go to the i go to the grocery store and a half gallon of milk is five dollars yeah yeah i'm getting real fucking sick of the grocery store and a half gallon of milk is $5.
Starting point is 01:51:28 I'm getting real fucking sick of the grocery store. It's so goddamn expensive. I think that's that doesn't happen to us. We just get it delivered. These two haven't stepped foot in a grocery store forever. Us common men that still walk amongst the aisles picking our
Starting point is 01:51:43 expensive fucking chicken. I'm on the walk amongst the aisles picking our expensive fucking chicken. I'm on the ground in the aisles. I was actually reading the details on that. And food's more expensive. I don't mean to deny it. But housing is the one that's really inflated out of line with the other things. Like gas is cheaper.
Starting point is 01:52:01 Gas is cheap, especially inflation adjusted. So energy costs are kind of low. But housing costs, ouch. Housing rents in. Gas is cheap, especially inflation adjusted. So energy costs are kind of low. But housing costs, ouch. Housing, renting, and food as a whole. I was reading how they often change the gauge on the consumer price index. And if they're lowering the percentage of it that's dictated by meat sales because meat sales have gone down. And so their rationale as well. Meat sales have gone down. And so now it's not as big a picture of it that's dictated by meat sales because meat sales have gone down and so their rationale as well meat sales have gone down and so now it's not as big a picture of it so we'll replace that
Starting point is 01:52:29 with cereals and things that really haven't gone up that much so the reason meat's gone down in consumption is because of the price do you think like meat in particular is i've always hated no no it's not cpi is a bullshit measure the consumer price index is a good way of gauging how it's affecting like middle class people much more so than like gdp which is really gauging how well the most successful companies and its shareholders the gdp is gauging how much america's making basically uh yeah but the the problem with the consumer price index another thing they do is they substitute stuff right so like if margarine gets expensive and that's in there now they just swap it with butter they got people buy butter instead if meat gets expensive like you called out then they're like oh people aren't buying as
Starting point is 01:53:12 much meat so let's just make meat a smaller part of the cpi and it just makes the cpi in my mind a bit of a bullshit index that like i mean they work a lot of it but if anything the point you're making is that the cpi is worse for average people than the number they even put forth because they're under including how much people would purchase meat if it were at the price it was four years ago i hear you but then you know on other days the cpi will get it wrong in the other direction so i i just think the cpi is not perfect it's too fucking flexible they just make up bullshit so the cpi the consumer price index they take this market basket of goods right i don't know if housing's in it but let's pretend it is because i don't know any better they'll be like this is how much the one bedroom apartment is
Starting point is 01:53:55 this is how much butter is this is how much meat is this is how much a new fucking tire for your car is boom and then they watch these particular items go up and down and then if butter goes too out of whack they just put margarine in there instead if meat stopped if people stop buying meat then they just put less of it in that market basket and it's it's so fucking changeable and like you can't care compare 2024 to 2019 because the basket changed and I don't like that about it. Yeah, but again, the point is that it's changed worse than the basket showing because they're including, at this point
Starting point is 01:54:32 in time, it's worse than what it's showing because they're replacing high desirability items like meat with lower ones that aren't as price sensitive like cereals and grains. Maybe that'll help with global warming because if we eat less meat, then they'll raise less cattle on those industrial
Starting point is 01:54:48 farms. No, I want even more cows farting into the atmosphere giving us a methane shield against the sun flares. It's actually the belching because of the rumination, yeah. Oh, it's not even farts? It's partially farts, but if there was a ratio,
Starting point is 01:55:04 it's going to be far more belching than farting. Apparently, for reasons I don't understand, belching and farting are both considered flatulence? Because they ruminate. They have those multiple-chambered stomachs. I thought ruminate meant to stop and think. It's applied in that way, too,
Starting point is 01:55:21 because the ruminating when it's digestion is this long process with the multi-chambered stomach that they use to get nutrients out of that fucking grass that they eat. Which is amazing if you think about the machine that a cow is, that it can take a fucking grass in the field and make a steak out of it. Yeah. Even when they feed them grains and stuff, some people have this idea that, yeah, it's worse for them and the meat's not as good. But I've seen people be like, this is how much grain a cow eats. That grain could feed this many people. And it's like, do you have any idea what kind of grain cows are getting fed?
Starting point is 01:56:00 That's not your grocery store grains. You're going to break your teeth eating that nonsense. Who eats the corn that's not your grocery store grains like that's you're going to break your teeth eating that nonsense the corn that's not corn like all the stalks and all that stuff where does that go yeah they chop it up silage right they don't turn that into fuel too do they
Starting point is 01:56:18 I feel like that's something they do they grow corn just for fuel you know to make which part of the corn do they use it's not just the ear right is it the whole plant i don't know they get ethanol out of it i thought they were making the ethanol out of like some process that they use on the corn kernels it'd be like ethanol total bullshit alcohol yeah it's total bullshit yeah they use almost as much energy to make the ethanol as they get from the ethanol
Starting point is 01:56:45 it's just a program it's a jobs it's it's money flowing it's sort of a net neutral you know why we have a lot of work for no reason iowa is the first state in the primary and politically you cannot fuck with iowa if you want to have any kind of political future so yeah it's interesting fucking that e85 shit corrodes old school uh fuel lines and stuff because it's more i don't acidic's not the right word corrosive uh and seems like ethanol like it's just alcohol and that's like so dense it seems like it would be a good fuel well it's just how expensive it it is to produce versus yeah because there's petroleum petroleum bursting out of the ground begging to be converted into hundreds and thousands of amazing products that we use every day
Starting point is 01:57:30 i say we we let's just use all the oil we're not even close yeah i know like there's so much more we haven't even figured out all the good ponds so when they come up with like they'll be like we have 80 years worth of oil left and then five years ago by, and now we've got 90 years left. It's like, wait, what happened? Did consumption go down? Actually, consumption went up. We found more. And technology is always racing ahead.
Starting point is 01:57:55 So those oil deposits that we used to not be able to access that were deeper, further, harder to get to, now we can get all that. So there's constantly more oil. We're never running out and it doesn't matter when we do i don't believe in the global warming thing i've gone i've gone full fucking right wing on that one since we're talking oil and policy i'll be there with you sure what do you think of texas trying to leave america not just texas good look good i sent you that charlie daniels song the other but, but, but I'm glad you didn't listen to it. Cause you just made fun of me.
Starting point is 01:58:27 I did listen to it. It's funny. There's an eight 24 movie coming out about an American civil war. And I think in that one, maybe text for eight 24 is a movie studio. They make lots of really good stuff. So tech, I think in that one,
Starting point is 01:58:42 Texas and Zach, pull me up the, the new movies like split you know red states blue states or whatever you want to call it north south because it's yeah because cali breaks off as well um in this scenario that they and i saw a little preview for it i don't like to watch too much of a preview i just like to get a vibe i don't want the whole story uh and it's got fat damon aka meth damon if you you remember that actor. He's like an American soldier, like all cocky with his M16. He's dressed in his BDUs or whatever.
Starting point is 01:59:11 And there's like civilians or whatever. And they're like, we're Americans. We're Americans. Don't shoot. And he goes, yeah. But what kind of American? And I was like, ooh. I kind of want to see that movie now.
Starting point is 01:59:24 I kind of want to see that. I like kind of want to see that i like that moment he's a good actor anyway i kind of want to see the movie because i'm curious about it i now is it a24 do they make good movies or do they make like right wing no no no that's that's fucking um binge daily wire and crazy it's yeah they're not comparable to them no this is more like artistic like high brow well-made independent films often i misjudged it then they make good movies yeah okay i thought you were like you know the best movie studio daily wiring me when you said no no no no this is gonna be a watchable i don't think you tricked me like you did with mandy no mandy was a good movie you're crazy but not like mandy but yeah
Starting point is 02:00:05 that i saw the oh that like daily wire shit is so fucking embarrassing like it's it's so badly done it's yeah it's like they're trying to cash in on the trans thing and it's like yeah i get it like you're doing your bit, but it's so ham handed. It's so unnatural the way they have the dialogue because they're not, they're not trying. The entire reason for the movie is for them to get those points out. They want to make like everything else is window dressing surrounding it. Like the way an actual movie that's meant to be propaganda is successful is
Starting point is 02:00:44 you have it be like little subversive threads throughout it. Something that's not hammering someone over the head with what you're trying to convince them of. Make them arrive at the conclusion on their own. Show don't tell. And these retards like Ben Shapiro think they can just make a movie the same style that they
Starting point is 02:01:00 debate 11 year olds and it doesn't work. I don't know anybody who likes that guy at this point in time like i'm sure there are but i don't know anyone likes him russell brand likes him tucker likes him i don't i don't watch tucker i've seen clips from tucker i'm like that's actually kind of funny they're kind of cross promoting right now like they're all in the independent sort of rightwing news ecosystem. Russell Brand shows up on Ben Shapiro's thing,
Starting point is 02:01:31 and they tell each other how smart they are. You know what they need to do? Who's the football guy, McAfee? Who's the guy who wears no sleeves? Pat McAfee. Yeah, he needs to, when his ESPN contract break ends, him and Aaron Rodgers need to go and do their own thing, and they need to coexist with those same people. I know Matt Coffey platforms Aaron Rodgers if that's the sort of thing you pay attention to
Starting point is 02:01:52 but he just had Travis Kelsey on too. What's wrong with platforming Aaron Rodgers? I guess that was where he said that Jimmy Kimmel was a pedophile and he was going to be on the Epstein list. And that's a bad thing to get out there. It's a lie. Yeah. I just,
Starting point is 02:02:10 I'm like my little like alarm bell, like that term platforming, like always like sets me off where someone will be like, Oh, they platformed this person. It's like, what do you mean? They let someone go on there and talk like yeah you don't like so he used pat mcafee show to tell the world that jimmy kimmel was going to be on the epstein flight
Starting point is 02:02:29 log which is not true he's he doesn't know him he was never on it it came out he wasn't on it it's jimmy kimmel's shitty for other reasons but i don't think he's a pedophile yeah it's because he's not funny and he hasn't been since he was doing the man show with adam carolla i i i i liked i like the man show i liked cranky anchors um he did that yeah they did that um adam carolla i noted and i'm sure jimmy kimmel was it's funny when you can tell who the funny person is in a partnership like adam have you seen like the the bits of um that they would do hilarious the honest that was a carl malone yeah that was it was great and it wasn't it wasn't trying to be racist like it was i did not rape all those children that's my carl malone impression yeah but i just i don't like
Starting point is 02:03:20 when i hear people getting critiqued for platforming people, I'm always like, I don't like that. Like, you don't, that's a, that's a slope. You don't want to start sliding down of just having everything be a bunch of hug box agreeing. So what I was getting at was,
Starting point is 02:03:33 I'm not sure Pat McAfee is actually like politically aligned with Aaron Rogers. Yeah, but he's, he's got beef with ESPN. They don't have to be to have a good show together. True. Yeah. I think he's got beef with espn they don't have to be to have a good show together true yeah i i think he's got beef with espn and i think that that that demographic yeah yeah they keep talking about how how upset they are with espn and how they don't like them there
Starting point is 02:03:55 oh they think they're being underpaid a ton i don't know anything about that i just know i'm gonna look it up i might be wrong i'm under the impression that he got like Joe Rogan money. He got a lot. He, he pulls ridiculous numbers. I had no idea how popular Pat McAfee was. Like it's, he's huge.
Starting point is 02:04:13 He could easily like split off and do his own thing. Oh, 85 million. He got from that ESPN. Holy shit. And so him and Aaron Rodgers, five year deal. So it's not quite as good as it sounds,
Starting point is 02:04:23 but all the football podcasts are popping up. They're not Aaron Rodgers are going to start. It's a five-year deal, so it's not quite as good as it sounds. All the football podcasts are popping up. Aaron Rodgers and the other guy. Aaron Rodgers has a podcast? No, I'm saying they could. The NFL podcast seems to be taken off in a way, like the Peyton Manning and the Eli Manning brothers. It's because stats and stories is the right way to be a fan. Don't watch the games.
Starting point is 02:04:43 The games are stupid. It's about the podcasts and the highlights and the dating lives and Jimmy Butler trying to learn to canoe. That's where sports fans are headed. I'm on the event. They do both, Woody. They watch the games
Starting point is 02:04:58 and then they learn about the stories. The games are a huge time sink. You can watch the game in nine minutes on YouTube. You gotta watch the games of the sports you like. Sports are not about games, Taylor. Sports are about dating Taylor Swift. That's what it's about. I've never been to a single Blues player's Instagram or any social media account.
Starting point is 02:05:21 Did you see Jason Kelsey jump out of that window and then jump back in that's what i based my scouting i think you talk about that i care a little about that i i just don't care about that now but what i like about fighting drama is i enjoy the wwe aspect of it because i can usually tell like oh he's doing a little bit here he's he's got a practice line here he knew what he was going to call him. He's got insults. He's got retorts. I enjoy the Chael Sonnen style of that game.
Starting point is 02:05:52 But I also enjoy when it's like when bullshit goes wrong, when keeping it real goes wrong, like that Dave Chappelle bit, where it's like that fighter thought that we were going to do a play sort of i push you you push me thing but he pushed a gangster like a real one and that guy like there was a press conference with john jones and um daniel cormier where they started fighting taylor they they got there was it was long ago and there wasn't that like security team of even huger human beings to be like no dana white wasn't even there they just let these two men who despise each other go on stage and face off and it goes push push push we're fighting now
Starting point is 02:06:33 yeah it was huge they were fighting and um daniel cormier sort of fell off the stage they're on this elevated platform and it's like three feet it's not the kind of fall that hurts a pro athlete typically but um the point is like he's tipping over and there's like a curtain he might have fallen into and it was a real bad look even though it was a pretty minor fall and i think he lost his shoe or something he like threw his shoe at john and he couldn't take losing the push like he didn't he's like I'm not done fighting yet. I hear no bell. He said, and John was on me. And I was thinking, I'm going to bite him. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:07:14 He didn't, but that was his idea. He's like, because I can't lose. I'd rather bite him than lose. Normally, Dana White stands in between the fighters when they do. I think they just did a pose where they were pretending to square up. Face off, yeah. Dana White. Thank you. the fighters when they do i think they were just going to do a pose where they were like pretending to square up face and dana white thank you dana white one is a little more physically imposing like if dana white wanted to block or break up you and kyle he would have an okay chance at like yeah he's you know exerting himself he's being strong um and also he carries the respect of being the boss like it really matters what d Dana White thinks of you to your fighting career. Well, the guy
Starting point is 02:07:46 that was in the middle, who was it? Do you remember his name? I think it was just some dude that had flown in. It might have been Goldie or it might have been some random representative from the Mirage. You know, it was they had no... I don't think so. It was someone I knew. They were very ceremonial
Starting point is 02:08:01 as far as the keep them apart guy. What I mean though is i like that part of mma when shit is real and visceral and it's like this guy genuinely hates that guy and they've got to step in that fucking cage tomorrow night and he's gonna take it out on him he's gonna make it personal and you don't i don't know i really enjoy that part of it. The fakeness and the genuineness coalescing in that sport is fun to me. Have you ever seen Chael Sonnen and Tito Ortiz
Starting point is 02:08:35 the press conference? Yes. Yes. Tito said Chael made money with his mouth He's like the only person that makes a mouth Or makes their money with their mouth around here
Starting point is 02:08:51 Is your porn star wife I added a bit but that's about right We were never married That was his retort That was his retort Taylor That's a bad comeback If you got nothing you gotta agree and amplify And pretend you don't care.
Starting point is 02:09:06 Yeah, she made money. She made more money with her mouth than you made from a career of fighting. Chael, the real gangster Sonnen. Get out of here. That's what he should have said. Is Chael the lazy eye guy? No. Chael's the fucking handsome gangster. Fuck, that would have been a good one.
Starting point is 02:09:21 Oh, he was thinking of Michael Bisping, maybe. Oh, okay. What does Chael Sonnen have that you can get him on real quick? If I recall, he's a good-looking guy who's fit and a professional fighter. Yes, yes. He comes from a wealthy family, and he's well-spoken, and he's got all his greens. He kind of learned how to talk from professional wrestling. He kind of brought that into the UFC.
Starting point is 02:09:42 Someone called Steve Austin would give him lines. Oh, yeah. Was he one of the first guys to kind of bring that WWE energy to the press conferences in UFC? Yeah, he was the first one to really make it stick. You had like Frank Shamrock and Tito Ortiz, which is how you know it was really bad when fucking Tito Ortiz wins. He tried to do it, and it just absolutely failed.
Starting point is 02:10:06 I think he said he was going to beat Tito into the living death. Yeah. Into the living death. He's going to beat you into a living death. He didn't have to say anything. He just kind of cracked up at it. And it was just weird. It was before the good talkers got to it,
Starting point is 02:10:23 but it was Kim Shamrock. And I don't remember who it might've been a boxer or something, but the guy said that Ken Shamrock was gay and as part of their trash talking. And he's like, you know, I'm not gay, but you better be thankful for that. Cause if I was,
Starting point is 02:10:39 there's not a goddamn thing you could do about it. And I was like, Oh fuck. He threatened to rape him on saturday yeah dude that's how you take things to 11 out of 10 you're a terrible fighter i'm going to molest you like oh damn i brought a gun to a knife fight jail shit talking to brazil and and a few brazilian fighters in particular was epic.
Starting point is 02:11:06 I remember there was a Brazilian interviewer. He's like, why do you say these things about my country? Why do you say these things about all Brazilians? It's because I'm trying to pick a fight with some Brazilian fighters. And by the way, they're barely Brazilian fighters. He lives
Starting point is 02:11:22 in Los Angeles in a $2 million home. He drives a Phantom. Do you know how much a Phantom costs? Do you know how far that money would go in your little favela? Your corrugated tin roofs. Those are some of the best chill moments
Starting point is 02:11:38 is when he's like he's not even like trying to talk shit. He's just like, are you seriously asking me this right now? And he just has to run through it all. Yeah, dude. So we all know the one where he said that the Garrett brothers came off the
Starting point is 02:11:53 bus and then they tried to feed the bus with a carrot. And he just, he sticks to this story and he tells it with almost Norton McDonald patience, you know, where like, it's taken a while to get to the point. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 02:12:07 And sincerity. And sincerity. Yeah, yeah. He just he doesn't break character. And he just goes on, tells this story that most people love. For me, it didn't totally land about how he fed carrots because he confused a bus for a horse. Okay, cool. Well, then Ariel Helwani gets him on an interview and he just lays out the
Starting point is 02:12:27 ridiculous story he told you told this story of the nog brothers feeding the carrots to the bus and petting the bus and saying whoa girl whoa settle down and jail obviously caught in a stupid lie looks him in the eye and goes that really happened it's just stuck with it double down i was like shit chel's good at this because he's winning me over yeah i enjoy him thoroughly um and of course connor was was was funny when he could back it up you know he was calling his shots and stuff that was that was good and i like colby i like colby because he says awful things he says he says the kind of shit that kids in high school say when they want
Starting point is 02:13:07 to pick a fight, but he says them into a microphone to millions of people in front of your family. There's something intriguing about that for me because then he has to go fight them and I want to see it. He usually loses. I'm sure he has a winning record, so that's
Starting point is 02:13:24 not fair to say. Lately. Okay. Lately. I think the sun's starting to set on Colby. Oh, for sure. Yeah, he's got one more. He's got one more.
Starting point is 02:13:34 I was thinking he's a little like, I'm going to fuck this name up. Gustafson? Gustafson? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That guy made his career out of losing good fights. He got his ass kicked by Jon Jones, but looked
Starting point is 02:13:50 pretty good when it happened to him. He got his ass kicked by DC, but he put up a nice, solid fight. This guy can lose to top talent and look like he belongs in the ring with them. That's Colby's talent also. I suppose so. I'm looking forward to these cards that are coming up. They're pretty ridiculous.
Starting point is 02:14:08 I think the Poirier fight may have fallen apart. I don't think it was. Actually, he put on a new tweet that said it was a mistake between him and his management and it's back on. Okay, good deal then. Lots of good cards coming. I really do want to see
Starting point is 02:14:23 a Conor fight. It's such a spectacle because here's the thing about the connor fight they'll they'll surround him with good talent too it'll be a good card it won't be just a connor card i think i think it'll be a good card i hope you're right i feel like they drifted away from that like early connor cards were amazing connor cart the ufc puts on two events that i call super bowls a year roughly right 300 is going to be one of them but most of the cards are just regular and then every so often there's two or three champions on the same night and the rest of the people the card are all like cared about fighters and it's cool early on connor was on stacked cards and then as time went on it seemed
Starting point is 02:15:03 like his cards got shittier and shittier. And they would just ask Connor to carry the sales all by himself, which he did. But I hope they go back to stacked Super Bowl Connor cards. Sure. And it's not just like Connor and 11 Woodies on the card. Like I said, I think we're getting one more Connor card unless he beats Chandler. And then like, you know, we'll get another one. We'll get a title fight if he beats Chandler.
Starting point is 02:15:28 I think so. But what weight class? They're so corrupt over there. They're so corrupt over there. They're going to let him fight a 150. They're going to let a 155-er who was a 145-er fight a 155-er at 170. And if he wins,
Starting point is 02:15:43 they're going to say, you should fight the 170-pound champion now that you've beaten a 155 or at 170, and if he wins, they're going to say, you should fight the 170-pound champion now, now that you've beaten a 155 or at 170. It's going to be nonsense, and I swear they'll do it. He will fight Leon Edwards, and it's an interesting matchup. I don't care. I'll watch it. Did they say 170, though, or was it 185? Because I thought I heard whispers about that. Yeah, but I think that's just them. I think that's
Starting point is 02:16:06 Connor being a jackass. Connor and Chandler both said 185 if I have my facts right. I know Connor did. And like Kyle, I also am doubtful that that's a real thing. Yeah, I think he's just being a jackass. I think he likes getting those extra clicks just by adding a little extra
Starting point is 02:16:22 cherry on top of weirdness. Like, whoa, 185 is he gonna get bigger is he really is is connor 205 walking around and he's got a cut to 180 no no he's not he's probably walking around at like 205 actually yeah he's probably walking around 205 huh he looks thick he looks big he's thick as fuck I, I am not good at estimating weight through TV. I don't know. If I stood next to him, I might be a little better.
Starting point is 02:16:48 Yeah. It's hard to tell. Cause he is shorter than us. Yeah. Hollywood's based on this. Like all your favorite action stars are five, nine. Yeah,
Starting point is 02:16:57 that's true. It's true. It's true. I know everyone knows five, nine guys. It can't be heroes. No, they can't even,
Starting point is 02:17:04 I don't know. They need car seats, I bet. What's the minimum height for being a hero? Probably 6'5 or so. 6'6, I would think, is the minimum parameters for being a hero.
Starting point is 02:17:19 I don't think I would be able to tell the difference. I need to know dick size if I'm going to choose. You need to tell how big someone's cock is and be like, man, this guy's a fucking hero. All right, all right. You're doing pretty well so far. Let's get that done. Dude, that'd be funny if Biden fell during a speech or something
Starting point is 02:17:35 and his penis fell out and it was tiny. And then the next episode, Woody comes on and he's like, I just am over him. I don't like this guy this guy's the worst he doesn't have what it takes to be a leader he's weak a frail old man like let me say this biden has a schlong let me tell you how i know because his son has a big one all right if he fell out he had just a giant old man dick you like maybe next episode kyle and i are like you know maybe there's something to this guy.
Starting point is 02:18:14 Marjorie, Marjorie Taylor Greene broke out those giant, you know, cut out, blown up photos of Hunter Biden's cock and like a woman's hand. Like there's a photo where he's taking a picture of a woman holding his cock like this, like in both hands. And it's like, you know, it's it's longer than her hands and she's not at the base. It's a big old dick she's holding. So she's just put this big black rectangle over his cock. And she was generous. It's like that Simpsons episode where Flanders is showering. And they blur his dick down to his knee. And so there she is in the hall.
Starting point is 02:18:39 In those hollowed halls. Oh, not poop on the walls. Marjorie Taylor Gre green is infatuated with hunter's dick she brings down the hall yeah i'm it was like i gotta go again it's just down the hall from where the staffers butt fuck each other i'm sure but she's got this big picture of of him whole of the top really came from yeah so i'm my bet is that uh i bet now i'll say this i bet if there was a dick measuring contest i think biden might win it based on what I've said here. Against his son?
Starting point is 02:19:10 Against Trump. Against Trump. Oh. Yeah, maybe. Don't make it weird. You're right. I'm sorry. They say Trump's dick is small, but it's always people that hate him, like Stormy Daniels.
Starting point is 02:19:22 Yeah. Actually, she's the only one I know. Can't really.s. Yeah. Actually, she's the only one I know. Can't really. Yeah. Anyway, on the topic of Joe Biden and Trump's penis, let's read an ad real quick. Okay. Pharaohdistro.com, folks. Is your head starting to hurt trying to figure out how to spend time with your girlfriend or your side chick on Valentine's Day?
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Starting point is 02:21:11 I I'm, I'm reading it for the first time and it's 27.9% total cannabinoids. And it's 26, 25.9% THC. A I actually haven't smoked this in a, in a while. Um, or maybe actually haven't smoked this in a while. Or maybe I haven't smoked this exact strain. So I'm going to try this out later.
Starting point is 02:21:30 Yeah, give it a go. I kind of want to smoke it now. Smoke it right now. Get yourself high. You're high every episode anyway. It's not like you'd get high and people would be like, whoa, Kyle's acting loopy. You're just continuing to be high. I just don't know if I want to burn up.
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Starting point is 02:25:05 fucking weed that is that i will say i often say that the future isn't as cool as i thought it was going to be like when i was a kid i bet i would have thought almost 2025 was going to be a time of space exploration and like i don't know advanced technologies in one area or another. It didn't really happen, did it? No. What's the most impressive thing? Because I think it's telemedicine and the ability to teleconference and get a group of people. Right here, we've got four people just being silly.
Starting point is 02:25:40 But if we had four experts about rocket science, we could make a thing happen here. I think the ability to get people in these conference calls and telemedicine in particular is cool. Because just being able to get that taken care of at home without, I don't know, I like that. I think telemedicine and teleconferencing are two of the more advanced technologies that are cool. But there's no fucking space travel. There's no hoverboards. There's no there's no hoverboards there's no flying cars not really every now and they'll be like look at this flying car it costs eight million
Starting point is 02:26:10 dollars and no one's allowed to fly it anywhere dude they can't even make delicious snacks yet without filling it with poison or too many calories and we think we're going to conquer the stars when oreos are the calories they are right now? It's defined as poisoned by the Europeans, not by us, so it's okay. I don't know. The more I see that stuff, the more I'm like, oh, I think the Europeans are right on this one. Don't let them find out I said that.
Starting point is 02:26:34 But on the food point, the Europeans are right. Every other point with their fucking nonsense about- Are they right? I think they are. Yeah, their food, every American I talk to is like, the quality of food over there is so markedly different and it is a fact that like even companies that like mass like heinz you know companies like that they have to they sell a
Starting point is 02:26:56 different version of their product in like the uk and the european union because they can't sell what they sell to us because they're like oh here in france we know that it makes you less gay and so we do not allow that and like that's like they they know it's not good for you and so they they say no thing in particular like like so here's my thing it the bioengineered plants are better they're better they're bigger they're juicier sometimes they're tastier they're more attractive you don't want fucking tomatoes from 150 years ago on your on your i thought they were less nutrient dense i'll be okay did i get did i get fake news i want i want the newest berries you have i want the brand new whatever that's the best
Starting point is 02:27:46 in the middle of an argument be like I'm just gonna go I'm gonna do a little freestyle in here no idea what I'm talking about doesn't forge an ad there is a general idea that if you look at strawberries from like 200 years ago they're not nearly as cool and there's also a thing that sometimes they modify these things to stand
Starting point is 02:28:04 up to pesticides. And now we get fruits with more pesticides. So that aspect of it, I don't love. But just the freaking selective breeding and genetic engineering to make fruits bigger and tastier and better. I'm on board with that. Well, that's not. Well, it's not just selective breeding if it's GMO, right? Like they've done some sort of dark magic science in a laboratory somewhere
Starting point is 02:28:25 you know like the selected breeding is how we got so many wonderful plants that we have now there's that there's this i don't know which painting it is but there's this old painting and there's there's it's fruit on a table and the what everybody's like why does that watermelon look like that because it's mostly rind and there's there's just a little bit and it's it's like there's a star-shaped like watermelon like the fruit of a watermelon is sort of star-shaped in there like that's what they used to look like they used to be mostly rind and there was just a little like edible watermelon in the middle everything's like that corn used to be this absurd looking thing that definitely you wouldn't you wouldn't be eating an ear of strawberries too but like yeah you know how big a strawberry is cut that by three-fourths for 200 years ago yeah everything's
Starting point is 02:29:10 better i'm okay with the gmo stuff but it is i have seen that i've seen videos and maybe just lists of all the ingredients uh that aren't allowed in europe i think it's it's one of the colorings that we use like yellow you know red 5 or yellow 6 or whatever the hell. One of those is bad for you. Subway can't advertise that their sandwiches come on bread because the sugar content is so high it's not bread. It's cake.
Starting point is 02:29:36 It's cake now. I think that ketchup is technically soda because there's so much sugar in ketchup. There's lots of things like that i don't care i like the that's my vegetable see i i don't mind i don't mind gmo stuff so much as like i don't like that um you can't find a lot of real stuff like i had a hundred percent grape juice for the first time like month ago. I mean, not watered down at all.
Starting point is 02:30:07 I got it from this Brazilian store. And I'll be honest with you. It's kind of strong, and it's so sugary that the sugar forms on the bottom. But if you can get over the strength of it, it tastes so good. And I've been chasing that high, but you can't find it here. Chasing that dragon. It's the shitty food. One time I had watermelon
Starting point is 02:30:32 juice and that was really good. You can buy it at the store. There's jugs of it. Actual, honest watermelon juice? It's from that Donald Sutherland brand that's simply you know okay it's just just watermelon juice oh half gallon of it i need to see the ingredients water but it says watermelon juice on the back i needed to actually say that don't be like water
Starting point is 02:30:57 and watermelon concentrate so you can fuck with the recipe no no i want it to be genuine. No, I don't get too experimental with my juices. I do drink that 100% cranberry juice that's just so hard to get down. I think it has iodine in it. I don't know why I eat half the things I eat anymore, but I think it has iodine
Starting point is 02:31:19 in it. Simply Watermelon. What's in it? 10% juice blend. Oh, no. Contains pure filtered water, watermelon something, and cane sugar, lemon juice for tartness,
Starting point is 02:31:36 cherry juice, and natural flavors. Not from concentrate. That's not simply then. Not at all. Nothing simple about that. You made watermelon soda. Something like that. That's horse shit. Maybe watermelon juice is too expensive
Starting point is 02:31:52 to create. I feel like watermelon juice would be the easiest though. You try and crush an orange and it's fucked up. You don't have to chew watermelon. You just fucking crush it with your tongue if you want.
Starting point is 02:32:08 What you do is you drill it. You cut a little hole in the top of the watermelon. You take a power drill and you put a wire coat hanger in there. Just tighten your power drill on there and stick that in there. Turn it on and it liquefies the hole inside. That's how the Egyptians got the brains out. You hit it with the at-home abortion. Yep you go the at-home abortion you get the fucking milwaukee out and make some melon juice that hit well it took me a second but i was like uh what do you do outside of fishbowl
Starting point is 02:32:39 and amateur mma what do you do for a living um i i lift heavy packages you know it's it's not exciting i i did i did the classic mma guy thing and didn't bother to learn anything ah i was like all right it's cool i'm just fucking yeah no um i mean you know i just i just i just um my my day is just go to work, come home, train. You know, I don't really do too much. I like video games. Obviously I do. I do YouTube videos and stuff like that. And I stream.
Starting point is 02:33:11 Um, but I, I kind of have a boring life, honestly. UPS. Huh? UPS. I said, is that a UPS? Uh, no, no. Um, I do, I do shipping and receiving for a place. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 02:33:26 What games do you play? I play a lot of old games right now. A lot of like Fallout New Vegas. I'm playing through Fallout 2 for the first time. That's the top-down one? Yeah, yeah. That's the isometric one. Yeah, I've never played that one.
Starting point is 02:33:46 I've played the rest of them. If you can get through the first 20 minutes, it kind of picks up. Going from FPS to isometric turn-based is a little weird. It's kind of slow. Yeah, I got really into Baldur's Gate when it came out, but I'd never played a game that was like that before. But I instantly fell in love with that game. That game's so good.
Starting point is 02:34:11 Right now, Pal World seems to be the most popular thing. Our friends all have a server. They keep begging us to come play with them. It does look fun. See, I don't know if I'm going to like it, and I feel like I'm going to disappoint people when i don't like it you ever you ever like someone introduces introduces you to their hobby or the thing they like maybe even just a food or a restaurant you're like
Starting point is 02:34:34 oh this is bad i don't like this this isn't or it's just not fun to me i feel like that's going to happen if i play power because i don't have that connection to pokemon that you yeah like pokemon was you're barely too old for pokemon it was right in my fucking wheelhouse like i was seven when pokemon red came out for game boy uh scott how old are you i'm 29 29 okay so you're just a few years younger than me so you probably hit pokemon hard around the same time right yeah i i um i remember playing some of the games but i don't have like a lot like i don't remember them that well because i usually would just play them like you know on like a cousin's thing or something like that oh okay oh we were like obsessed with it like when we were little kids like like we would bring it to school.
Starting point is 02:35:26 We'd play Game Boy like on the playground. Someone would bring their trade cable so that you could trade or that you could battle. And the cable only worked like 30, 40 percent of the time. And so it was like always exciting when it did work. I remember like being devastated. Devastated. Because my best friend in grade school, Alex, and me were supposed to bring our Game Boys to school and use a trade cable because I needed to trade my Kadabra to him and then have him trade it back to me because trading it was the only way to get it to evolve into Alakazam. There was no other way to do it. And I needed an Alakazam on my squad it's a powerful psychic type pokemon fucks up other ones very
Starting point is 02:36:08 high speed high attack and i got there on the playground with him like the day before like i'm anticipating it like i'm like playing with my cadaver and i'm like this is the last day of you you shitty ass cadaver tomorrow you're going to be an alakazam then i get there and we spend all of recess trying to troubleshoot issues as seven-year-olds with a cable. We're like, there's only one place to put it and it's there.
Starting point is 02:36:33 What do we do? I'm out of ideas. We've blown in it a lot. We've gone, trying to clean it out with our spitty seven-year-old mouths. I had to go home that day with a cadaver still and was so sad. Yeah. Devastated. I have a very strong. What grade was this? This was probably how old are you when you're seven? First grade, second grade.
Starting point is 02:36:55 It's like third grade. The cool thing in my second grade class was Santavious Johnson had this pen that not only could you choose multiple colors by pulling the little sliders down on the side, but it was like, there was a, not a vibrator, but a motor inside that made the pen tip tip do like oscillations.
Starting point is 02:37:18 And you could, you could put it in these, I don't know. You could trace through these plastic things that you, the stencils that you put on paper. Something like that. Yeah plastic things that you... Like a spiral graph. You could create art with it. He was really good at that. He was...
Starting point is 02:37:30 That was the coolest thing we had. We didn't have fucking game consoles. It's okay. What Taylor's describing is remotely cool. Dude, when Taylor talks about... Five years. He might as well be talking about Blue's Clues to me. I was devastated at Blue's Cl blues clues how this worked out i wanted mr chair and i didn't i got the
Starting point is 02:37:52 fucking map and then when steve didn't check the mail i was like what the fuck yeah it blues cruise and pokemon ring the same to. They're just children's things that I never cared about. Yeah. Well, I was a child. And so it was my chance. You watched the show. And there's excuse makers. All right.
Starting point is 02:38:14 Which one are you being right now? I'm an excuse maker. I was a kid who was into Pokemon. To answer your question, Kyle, yes. Every Saturday morning, I woke up and watched the new Pokemon on TV. The new Pokemon? That's the one that has Ash and Pokemon. Like Ash and his...
Starting point is 02:38:31 I was coming up in the very beginning of Pokemon. Team Rocket. You got Jesse and James and all their adventures. Which one's the girl? Whichever one's the girl. Are they brother and sister? No. They had kind of what I now realize
Starting point is 02:38:46 to be probably a sexual relationship. I thought they were not siblings. And they were brother and sister. No, because one of them was like a rich kid. Because I didn't play the games. I watched Pokemon. One of them was
Starting point is 02:39:01 a rich kid. I think it was James. And jesse was like poor as shit okay oh i didn't i didn't realize that i didn't it was only like recently that i realized like both of their pokemon were like sex jokes in some of the season like uh i think jesse had like a weeping bell which is like it looks like a flashlight and then I don't know James had a weeping bell which looks like a flashlight and Jesse had lick a tongue just like a licking Pokemon
Starting point is 02:39:31 and so that I looking back I wish they hadn't done that it's classless boorish yeah the Pokemon were sex toys yeah he was definitely sucking that weeping bell were they supposed to be 16 I could never tell how old people were on that show because Brock, I always thought, was like,
Starting point is 02:39:48 oh, he's like an adult because he was a gym leader. Yeah, a gym leader who took care of his siblings. Yeah, he had like eight siblings. That's wild. You remember more of the show than I did. I was more into the games in the show, but it was like it was mid-'90s Game thrones in that when i went to school on monday i knew that alex and travis and all my buddies they were going to be like did you see uh ash
Starting point is 02:40:16 fight against the third gym leader the electric gym leader lieutenant surge who had a raichu and the big thing was like lieutenant surge has a raichu that's the evolved form of pikachu by the way and and ash merely has a pikachu and so how is he going this is insurmountable i don't appreciate you talking down to kyle and i like that we know which pikachus evolve into which i don't i don't think i don't think you do i bet if i would have said what's right you i bet kyle would have been like that's what pikachu turns into like i bet kyle actually might have no fucking idea about any of that stuff if i'm being honest i know remember when we you we had
Starting point is 02:40:55 a question that was like what named pokemon i named like three like i know you know like squirtle you can and charizard like, I know like three fucking Pokemon. I'm telling you, I saw one of those cards at school, in high school. No, middle school. I remember some kid pulled out some of those cards, and I was like, noted. Noted? Okay.
Starting point is 02:41:18 Nobody was bringing this shit around in middle school. He's like flipping through these pitches and like what the fuck is that he's like ah this is a fucking doobly-dop it's got eight attack but not against water pokemon which sucks because you know marcus because marcus the only kid that plays with me he's got all water pokemon i was like i don't want to be part of that oh dude like when i got when i was like the nerdy shit i was really into in high school, I like did not talk about that stuff. It's I literally had a friend from another school who I was really into that stuff with. And like like the thought of like telling my buddies at my high school, like, yeah, I'm going to I'm hanging out with my other friend.
Starting point is 02:41:59 I'm very close with still one of my best friends. And we're going to play Lord of the Rings strategy card card game together that was tight to the chest in high school magic i started playing magic the gathering when i was like 16 which is the least cool time to ever start and so i never never talked about that either taylor was a closeted nerd in high school oh yeah yeah. He had a secret boy from another school who he shared his true self with, but not in his own school. Do you... I remember... Man, I remember so many times I'd be with
Starting point is 02:42:33 this buddy. Where's this story going? It made me laugh. Me and this friend, we were great buddies, and he would come over sometimes on the weekend and we'd play these games and everything. And so we were like... I think we were maybe like 16 or so and we actually went to gen con 2006 in nashville together for a lord of the rings tournament yeah it's like a nerdy card convention that kind of thing but i remember like i'd be playing the game with my buddy having a grand
Starting point is 02:43:00 old time and i'd like on like a saturday afternoon and i'd like see my dad come down the stairs he'd be like coming downstairs to like do something else and he'd like look and see me and my buddy playing with what to him is the gayest game of all time and he would look at me with eyes that said like like like eyes of get cut that out and i remember the shame feeling like oh i feel dirty doing this i told you like he tried to play with me once uh when i was in like i was like 13 or 14 and i tried to get him to play with me he was always saying it and i was like in the middle of explaining the rules of the lord of the rings it's basically magic the gathering but with lord of the rings and i remember explaining it to him and he just like was looking with like Lord of the Rings it's basically Magic the Gathering but with Lord of the Rings and I remember explaining it to him and he just like was looking
Starting point is 02:43:48 with like a grimace and was like Taylor I just can't he got up and he went to golf he wanted to golf by himself instead of learning to play with that dad's like I don't know I put him on the boys wrestling team how'd he turn out so gay
Starting point is 02:44:03 yeah oh dude when it turned out I was good get your leotard on when it turned out i like ended up being good as a goalie in ice hockey my dad i could see my dad decide like all right this is our bonding thing like this is this is what we do because he's into a bunch of lame nonsense throw all those little cards away did you guys ever do scott you ever do anything like embarrassing that your dad didn't like yeah um i kind of had a similar thing except it was with uh halo um i it was it was halo 3 i had a buddy of mine that i'd always play with and um he was like so good and i was so trash i literally only beat him one time and uh it was like frustrating getting my ass beat
Starting point is 02:44:46 so i'm like sitting here like i'm not like freaking out but i'm like yelling and shit like that and he's just walking by in the living room and he kind of gives me that same look you were talking about like as soon as you said that i was like transported back i was like ah okay yeah no that yeah that sounds like my dad i dad. I remember trying to explain a game to my dad. A video game. I don't even remember which one. I was like, yeah, I'm like a lieutenant commander or something. I'm just trying to explain how the ranks
Starting point is 02:45:15 work. I'm not stealing valor. Yeah. He goes, see that, honey? I was a lieutenant commander. Do you have any idea? Dude, that's devastating. Kyle's a lieutenant commander. Do you have any idea? Dude, that's devastating. I was just like, all right, I'll never share my passions with you ever again. What do you like?
Starting point is 02:45:36 Let me form a life around it. Damn it. I remember sometimes that buddy I played those card games with like he was a good friend of mine so like he'd hang out with me and my like other buddies from high school and if i'd ever like if he ever started to bring up any of that stuff i'd be like uh like let's keep that let's keep that under wraps no one needs to know that you've been working on a magic card deck i had this friend that was a little embarrassing um i definitely wouldn't have wanted some of my friends to know he's my friend he was just kind of lame he was in very
Starting point is 02:46:14 nerdy stuff like more nerdy than me but then in some i remember we got in this argument about the fucking power loaders and alien 2 one time and it's like we're 12 year olds. This is my nerdy friend for sure. He was over my house and he starts explaining. Oh, he sang a Weird Al Yankovic song to my family. He performed it
Starting point is 02:46:38 for them and he thought it was very funny and then he explained Do you know which one? Was it Edith? He's singing Pretty Fly for the White Guy. I think he was very funny. And then he explained. Do you know which one? Was it Edith? He's singing Pretty Fly for a White Guy. I think he sang Gump. Gump sat alone on a bench in a park. My name is Forest.
Starting point is 02:46:55 He casually remarked. I didn't like using it just now. So I can't imagine how your family felt. Heath gritting. Verse after verse. He went on and on and and then after that he he um i think he talked about how nuclear reactors work because he was like learning about that in his like private school or something and and just he he had this accent as well because they weren't from around here so it was just a bad look dad was just like kind of accent where was he from canada well i don't know just north of us you know what i mean
Starting point is 02:47:32 like it's you can just hear it you can hear that yankee accent that i remember my my buddy curtis his cousin was from maryland and he would come down and it was like, whoa, you're too pale and you call Coke pop. We're going to keep an eye on you, buddy. We don't trust those states where the schools aren't ranked in the 40s somewhere. That's right. We've got some religion and togetherness down here. We all know we know our neighbors. A little bit of culture. That's right.
Starting point is 02:48:00 I remember I moved to North Carolina and I didn't want to believe the schools were bad, but they were bragging about being 38th in the country. Do they know how many states there are? Maybe not. They're 48th in the country, Taylor. They have no fucking clue. They were 38th, and they made some progress. We were previously 44th best schools, and now we're 38th. That's not bad, right?
Starting point is 02:48:24 No, that's because all the schools in Delaware burned down, thank God, because it moved us up. What state does have the best schools? It's actually Massachusetts, which is crazy, because if you met a dude hanging out in Dorchester, you'd never believe that. Yeah, they do have a bunch of nice schools. People come there for an education.
Starting point is 02:48:43 Dude, Bruins fans are some of the most educated people around. Don't doubt it. That's one of the few hockey games I've been to where the Thrashers played the Bruins back in the day. I saw an Ask Brett question. Here we go. We'll start with Scott. Scott, I'm going to give you three inches. You need to
Starting point is 02:49:02 allocate it to your height and your dick. What is the brain pound? Shit, wait, wait. Three added added to either of those yeah no you can you know two and one you can go three and oh oh dude three three and three in the dick three in the day yeah yeah i'm already seeing i'm already six feet tall i'm just barely in there so it's like you know in there is in there we're trying to make him get a whole new wardrobe he wants a bigger dick let's go by mistake i i'm with him i want that i want the gigantic dick let's go yes i want i want let's make that thing i want you you want women to hold it like hunter biden's that's a good one but part of me wants to take one and be 6'1". Because being six foot, it's like no one ever believes you
Starting point is 02:49:49 because there are so many fibbers out there, so many 5'11 guys who are stealing valor from six feet kings. And so maybe two on the dick, one get up to 6'1". Because no one lies about 6'1". Ever. That's the least lied about height. Alright, I'm with you. I'm taking an inch to the height, too. I'm taking an inch to the height, too.
Starting point is 02:50:11 You're taking one for height, two for dick. Yeah, two for dick. I might split the difference. I might split the difference because I think I'm about 6'1.5". An inch and a half would get me up to 6'3", even. I am putting every bit of this in my height. My dick is fine.
Starting point is 02:50:28 I don't even have a desire for it. You're a married man, sir. If you came home with more cock, she might be like, what the fuck have you done? Half the positions we do are already tread carefully positions. You add more length to that, and it's going to fucking... So you're just going to be 6'3",
Starting point is 02:50:43 with little arms? You can't add three inches of height without your arms getting longer i would look silly no you wouldn't notice absolutely not we've talked about before my wingspan is too long already like my my arms are a little longer than they know i'm not saying yours i'm saying that if i add all three inches then you're gonna going to have a six-foot man's arms on a six-foot tree. He's going to put it in his torso. It's all going to be torso height. That's what I'm describing. Will that three inches make a difference, though, on the arms?
Starting point is 02:51:17 Do you think people will look at them and they'll be like, what the hell is wrong with them? And then they slowly figure that out. You're probably right. I was just imagining there's a picture of the leg breaking surgery that some people get to become taller and this one dude went from i think the picture we saw was like he went from like 5 8 to 5 11 and a half maybe six foot but his or no it was bigger than that it was like 5 3 to 5 9 it was something like that the guy was real short and in the after photo he is taller but his arms
Starting point is 02:51:44 are like not they're like t-rex arms they're not coming down as far as like a normal person's arms hang so he looks like he's disabled almost yeah you know anytime you can nitpick it he probably still looks better oh yeah like if you're like five four as a guy that is a rough role like you you got to go to china or new york or wherever they do like breaking bone better hope you get a 20 on no go go find yourself a short girl and and make yourself like a couple that matches don't break your legs you know what short girls like tall guys money for some fucking reason well money yeah
Starting point is 02:52:19 money cat it's a lot easier to make a lot of money than fucking growth three inches so so so get to work cat williams was like they got this surgery they can give you for quarter million dollars they can give you an inch i'm rich as fuck i could be seven foot six i wonder how tall he actually is he's got to be like five he's a real little fella what were you saying scott no i was i was i was gonna tell a story but it's all good no no go for it i was gonna say fucking height matters because like i learned recently that my great-great-grandfather was was in the civil war right and he was in a regiment that was in like all the battles and shit like that and um we're we're learning about that we're learning about him and we're like oh dude like
Starting point is 02:53:05 wow this is crazy oh man like you know tears in the eyes kind of pride and then we see one of his draft cards and it says five three wow and me and my me and my uh uncle and my dad just started cracking the fuck up i think the i think the height really does matter if you're like five three five four you know I think that is? Is it because people didn't have as much protein as children back then growing up or something? Because you're six feet tall. How tall is your dad? He's like 5'10", I think.
Starting point is 02:53:38 The thing is, my great-great-grandfather was a potato famine baby. So that's probably what it is. Yeah, exactly. Not getting any nutrients. Zach, find that photo of the U.S. Marine, the North Korean Marine, and the South Korean Marine standing together at the border.
Starting point is 02:53:56 And it's like, first of all, y'all could have dressed that dude up a little better if he was going to be on camera with the American and the South Korean. Our guys? No, our guys's looking fucking nice. We picked a good guy out. The South Koreans got their dude. Yeah, Ace, come on.
Starting point is 02:54:10 Your cameras are out. The North Koreans sent this scrawny motherfucker who looked hungry in the picture. And he's wearing those brown, plain uniform. Everybody else is looking spiffy. Look at this shit. Yeah, so they didn't even spend the time what dude that the south korean looks like a gangster he looks like he could do yeah all
Starting point is 02:54:31 sorts of look at the look at the belt buckle he's got i feel like he's a dojo champion slash like he he's like a tom cruise level of cool right there with the americans not dressed well but he's a big boy he's at least he looks like one next to that little boy. I'm sure that South Korea and America were both like, all right, well, we're not stupid. Send your big intimidating guy. And North Korea is like, who's our biggest, most intimidating guy? Well, he's 5'4".
Starting point is 02:54:59 Is that his name, Anastasia? Is his last name Anastasia? What does that mean? Yeah,asia? Is his last name Anastasia? What does that mean? Yeah, that's probably his last name. I think they do last name patches. No one ever made fun of him. No. That guy's square jaw.
Starting point is 02:55:15 Where's Private Anastasia? Oh, welcome. Oh, there he is. Welcome to the unit, sir. Sorry. When we were making fun of you, we did not imagine you would be six foot ten sir oh my god all right so you know the simpsons episode where uh nelson's picking on the guy in the car and the guy gets out and he's a giant and it's like oh no that i saw a video i saw a video of that happening in real life the other day oh my dudes get the big guy
Starting point is 02:55:45 used his his restraint there there's like a traffic incident and this dude gets out of his car and comes back and he's yelling and cursing and the driver's trying to be understanding but dude's pushing it and so he's like hey motherfucker gets out and the driver looks like hodor from game from Game of Thrones. He is an ape of a man. Like maybe 6'4", 6'5", 340 pounds. A giant. And all of a sudden, the whole... It was hard to tell. He was standing next to a full-sized truck
Starting point is 02:56:14 and he was over the head taller than it. He looked like a Brahma bull standing on his back legs. And the original guy, the whole mood changed. It was like oh well fuck you alright well mind your P's and Q's sir I'm getting back
Starting point is 02:56:32 in my car it's absurd it's funny when you see that visual math happen real quick and it's like a different dog walked in the room or something like that oh shit what are you did you finish jack moment trial i told you i watched the first episode i found it wanting and i i don't plan to go back there
Starting point is 02:56:54 well you're probably right yeah quit it that show is shit now it's just a big jacked guy from blue mountain state going around you around asking advice from less qualified people. I don't... You guys haven't seen it. He has two ladies in his special investigators unit. Each of these girls, by the way, both of them built like fashion models,
Starting point is 02:57:18 can beat up two or three men at a time. Damn. This is just stupid. That's impressive. Was it their army training you think? Well, they were wearing plot armor. I think that's what helped them out. that's impressive was it their army training you think i think well they were wearing plot armor i think that's what helped them that's what did it yeah like like you know if you watch fighting and like watch professional athletes do their thing you you kind of have a different sense of the way the world works especially if you do it yourself a little bit like i that that's one thing that always irks me that really thin japanese girl from there was that keifer sutherland show um called last survivor where he was the designated survivor on a state
Starting point is 02:57:57 of the union and congress gets destroyed and he has to rebuild the government in the later seasons of that when they didn't know what to do they would just send this skinny japanese girl on like secret missions to go beat up thugs in south america and it's like like you said she's acting like she's rambo like she's doesn't matter how many men there are it doesn't matter how many guns there are and she's like a fashion model this girl's fists are so small like she there's just not enough mass moving to hurt someone you know what i mean like like you can be as technical as you want but you're not gonna knock me out like you just you can't hit that hard and she's just giving these guys the one two and they're oh they're out like cold it's like rowing a boat with a broomstick right yeah
Starting point is 02:58:39 you can pull as hard as you want you're not going anywhere it's not a girl thing even necessarily i always say like i don't want some little femme boy fireman coming to save me either i want a big brawny motherfucker that looks like captain anastasia over there like you better pick me up in your arms and and like not even sweat it like i don't want you to be having a hard time getting me out of there yeah firefighters should all be jacked who's everyone firefighters firefighters yeah everybody knows that i mean cops should be jacked too and they should they should probably be less retarded they should have an yeah both of those are good yeah they should have annual requalifying just some basic tests on the law and maybe run a mile and i don't think it would be fast fast right like it just run a mile at a pace that means you can't walk it yeah you can't be like
Starting point is 02:59:34 they should have uniform restrictions you've seen those guys who are like fupa to the max barely fit in their squad car it's like what what what are you doing? That's how I would police the police. I would if the union was like, no, I'm sorry, you can't force these qualifications. You can't make them run the mile. Okay, well,
Starting point is 02:59:58 uniforms no longer come in a size larger than triple X. No exceptions. What would the pants size be? Would you be 38? Maximum waist size is a 40 inch at 40 inches you can't be a police officer like there used to be some big boys out there we might fucking fat we've i mean i mean but again anastasia there might be a 42 he's a big man well i don't know that's that's a different kind though that's just that's a 40 inch waist because he's seven feet tall not because he let
Starting point is 03:00:25 himself go the army does that pretty well assuming it's still the same as back when my friend told me about it but they look at your bmi if your bmi is too high then they break out like the fat calipers and stuff because as you know like pro bodybuilders have terrible bmis they look like fatties and they're really not um so they do they just break out the calipers measure your body fat if your bmi is wrong that's what cops should have yeah the problem with um weak fat out of shape and untrained cops like physically untrained like they don't know wrestling or jiu-jitsu or how to like isolate a limb or something like that is they get people killed you get people killed because if you can't throw a punch or if you can't take a punch or if you can't wrestle a subject then all you've got to go to is your gun because that
Starting point is 03:01:11 taser ain't shit that taser is gonna fail most of the time you see that with chick tops i was gonna say i was ready my turn he didn't mention it but that describes every girl yeah it's it's most it's most women like like and it's it's sometimes it's an attitude thing. I saw a video the other day, and the guy's got his dash cam filming him. I think it's a black guy. Is he the cop or the other person? He's the driver being pulled over. He lets him know he's got guns in the car.
Starting point is 03:01:41 The cop pulls a gun out and puts it to his head. The lady cop pulls a gun out and puts it to his head the lady cop pulls a gun out puts it to his head and he's like whoa y'all really doing me like this what the fuck are you doing they're like get out of the car he's like you got a gun to my head like like it escalated to this crazy place so quick and there's two cops there was a male cop and a female cop and the female cop was the one not addressing him directly she was kind of a step behind closer to his you know she was holding the gun though and she immediately like like pointing through his jersey or maryland or just a state where guns aren't as common it's still bad i'm not excusing it i'm just i mean when when you're a woman you know and there's this like big scary dude and it's your job to go be like hey uh you have to do this and then you
Starting point is 03:02:32 also find out he's got a gun like yeah i don't i don't want to be mean here i don't want to be a misogynist or anything but it's kind of why i don't think women should be cops for the most part dude it's not just that like i i Alask Resort becomes a first response often because there's no other thing they can do. Yeah. That's... Oh, no. Go ahead. Go ahead.
Starting point is 03:02:53 I was just going to say, I watch a lot of this shit. I have a sick addiction to police videos. He does. It's just terrible. I genuinely watch... Have you seen anyone die today? Today? Today? Today, Thursday, yes.
Starting point is 03:03:09 I'm genuinely trying to answer honestly. I don't think I've seen anyone die today. But yesterday, 100%, like lots of people. Probably like 10, 20 people yesterday because I watched some war shit yesterday. I watched some war shit. And then I also watched like my... I let the police activity videos accrue I watched some war shit yesterday. I watched some war shit. And then I also watched like my,
Starting point is 03:03:29 I let the police activity videos accrue before I watched them. And I've seen some lady cops that could handle their shit. The majority of the ones who are in the, like in the shit, either shoot too much or not enough or shoot. I've seen them shoot their partners. I saw one. It's hilarious.
Starting point is 03:03:45 This black lady starts fleeing. She's like a shoplifter or something lady cop is chubby man cop is chubby they start chasing the lady cop trips and falls because like like in an open parking lot because she she's doing that thing where you're trying to catch someone and you lean too far forward because you're not athletic and you've never chased someone before. You've never played flag football. Kind of like Tom chases Jerry. It's that she's never played a fucking down of football. That's what it is. She's never tackled anybody before.
Starting point is 03:04:16 And so she's leaning too far forward. And she just gets head over heels and starts doing crazy arms and falls face first into the asphalt knocks herself unconscious i'm talking about like out like snoring out the cop runs the man cop takes maybe 20 more paces catches black lady puts her down a little rough with her he's like he's screaming back to her like it's saving Private Ryan. I don't know her name. Amy! Amy! There are bystanders being like, she's fucked up.
Starting point is 03:04:53 Well, it's because they were lovers. They were probably having sex. They're outside the goddamn Winn-Dixie or some shit. Dude, I swear to God, I'm not exaggerating when I say there are like eight, ten cop cars there. Twenty fucking personnel. Everybody's like looking around for a minority blast and she's still on the ground she's still on the ground they put like a cushion under her head she's staring up at up at the sky with dead eyes she's like i can't feel my feet oh dude you paralyzed yourself in a fucking win dixie parking lot
Starting point is 03:05:21 from running incorrectly. On the other hand, and it's not just a female-male thing all the time, I saw a male cop, and he's having this interaction with a man in an apartment complex stairwell. Two buildings are next to each other, and there's that space between with the zigzaggy staircase that goes up. They're in there. It's poorly lit. It's nighttime.
Starting point is 03:05:44 And the black guy, i don't know why i tried not to take it he the bad guy i mean i mean 40 and slip tell us what the bad guy did i wrote that joke down four days ago he pulls out a a gun and points to the and and like point to the cop the cop's like i don't do that and he like puts it back by his side and he's like i'm gonna kill you i'm gonna kill you and the cop's like don't kill me don't kill me and he's like running around like he's trying to avoid a water gun and he's afraid of this guy and he doesn't have his own gun yes he has his own gun he's scared though he runs away he ends up running away and i saw another one where the same thing happens and the subject the subject like pushes the cop down and then grabs
Starting point is 03:06:31 the cop by his leg by his foot and starts dragging the police officer through the parking lot and the cop's partner comes around the corner is like what the fuck he's dragging my partner and and my partner's just like, stop. Just on his back like a turtle being drugged. So Homeboy pulls out his gun and murders the guy who was dragging the cop. It seems like he had to do that. He's being dragged away by some guy on PCP. And then police officer of the week was, of course, the guy who tased the subject who was running across an interstate highway so that the case so that he is now on the ground going as a car comes along at 80 miles per hour.
Starting point is 03:07:18 And the cops just like, no, no, stop. No, no. Rolls him up, fucking kills him case closed the cops just like fuck i mean that guy should have thought of that as a possibility before he ran across the highway yeah he definitely should the real victim there the family that ran into him yeah now you got to relive that all the time imagine the taking that car and like to the collision service or whatever and there's like chunks of meat in the grill and fucking hair in it yeah you're a witness to in a crime so they'll probably be like now you have to show up
Starting point is 03:07:58 and talk about it oh yeah they'll be like what did you feel when you ran over him? It's like some 80-year-old. Two bumps, real quick. Yeah, two bumps, real quick. I bet someone dies so fast from an 80-mile-an-hour car. I would kind of hope so. Yeah, there's no way you're laying there. I don't think I want to survive that. No.
Starting point is 03:08:16 It depends what they hit, right? They run over your legs, midsection, whatever. That's nice. I was imagining him in that frozen up frozen up still standing and then getting like oh i picture him laying down and then i'm like what depends what the tires hit on the person yeah it probably did happen like that funky chicken while he's getting shot or run over you get hit hard enough on your legs though that'll kill you like a lot of important veins and shit down there that can maybe not immediately though i'm looking the video because I love it, but there's this video
Starting point is 03:08:46 of Black Lives Matter or somebody like that trying to jam up an interstate at night, and this car comes along, and he's speeding. Maybe 90, 100, I don't know, but he hits these women. Women. And throws
Starting point is 03:09:01 one of them so much farther than you thought a human body could be thrown. It's shocking. Yeah, get out of the road. Get out of the road. That's where the cars are. Ukraine war is sending bodies through the air, man. They sent bodies and tank turrets launching all over.
Starting point is 03:09:18 Ukraine war footage is brutal. Have you seen the new anti-tank drones? Oh, my fucking God. They literally take... Talk about about like a video game dlc you know like hose clamps that you you know you turn the screw and the clamp gets tighter and yes they took like two big ones and attached a shape charge that like a big um imagine warhead to the drone and then they just fly it into the back of the tank and it's the shape charge it's meant to penetrate armor with that right under where the spinny thing meets the body and they pop in the back yeah yeah they hit it in the back where the ammunition i guess all
Starting point is 03:09:57 the ammo or i i think it's i think you've got powder i don't know how russian tanks work but i'm guessing maybe there's powder charges and then a projectile that they shove in there. All that shit's, I guess, in a compartment. Dude, if I were on Reddit, a commenter on Reddit, I'd be like, Russian tank expert here. Russian tank expert here. Actually, I don't know very much, but I do know. Actually, it's an autoloader. I know that.
Starting point is 03:10:17 Yeah, I was about to say that. Because the Russians have an autoloader and the Americans don't, it means that they store their shells in a more vulnerable spot like right near the turret and it turns out now that they're being kind of battle tested that makes the turrets pop off when you hit them with drones whereas americans americans ukrainians are a little safer with their protected those those would have fared better in the 70s when they were designed and and and if they'd sweat they could have swept across Europe back then, no problem, because there weren't cheap ass tanks. They almost look like they're from the 40s.
Starting point is 03:10:50 I know they've updated the design, but visually they look the same to me. Yeah, it's Cold War shit. Russia's strategy is like cheap, easy to maintain shit. Like they will never like, they don't seem to go the the digital route
Starting point is 03:11:07 on a lot of stuff like they want cheap easy to maintain shit in that's easy to manufacture so i don't think they'll ever compete in like the tank world in lots of it yeah so you know like the first boats weren't huge it took a long time to work up to aircraft carriers. Okay. Can you imagine how sick it would be if we had like, and it wouldn't even have to be the most like effective, practical thing of all time. It would just be like a show of strength.
Starting point is 03:11:34 Like we have a tank that's like 150 yards long and it's like 80 yards wide. And it's, it's rolling like the big, it's like a rolling city. It's got, it's like a, it's like a battleship, and it's rolling. It's like a rolling city. It's like a battleship, but it's a tank. It's a land battleship. This is a genius idea. You could start with the ship, actually, right? Put some wheels on a nice Corvette, right?
Starting point is 03:11:55 On a frigate. No, it has to look like a tank, though. It has to look like a tank. That's my idea. We're taking your idea. We're stealing it. It's like, have you seen that nazi uh rail gun they made back when you were talking about this they apparently rail gun i guess
Starting point is 03:12:10 they didn't actually end up using it often like because uh there i know but not often because i guess a saboteur got in and destroyed some some key mechanisms in it with a bomb or something and then afterward they're like well the amount it would take to fix this isn't worth what the fucking thing ends up ended up doing but something like that would be sick not a railgun though we don't want we can be anywhere like you roll around you're not on
Starting point is 03:12:33 a rail system wouldn't that be sick you don't have to shake the ground they don't have one turret they have like a triple it should have a triple like a ship yes it has well it could have one big major one and then it can have smaller turrets on the sides. There's a ton of room. So this is a mouse tank.
Starting point is 03:12:50 How big is that? Is that like really huge? No, no. I mean like in the world of tanks. It's the biggest tank ever. The biggest tank ever. Okay. So they proposed a much larger version of this. Who made this? America or Russia? Look at the helmets, bro. Look how stylish
Starting point is 03:13:06 everyone is. Everybody's looking pretty slick. What are they doing on the sides of it? They're making it muddy? Now this one looks crappy. Oh look, there's a hammer and sickle. Of course it's crappy. I bet it's stuck.
Starting point is 03:13:17 I don't see the hammer and sickle. It looks like it's right on the side there. It's upside down though. I would imagine that. Maybe that's for think maybe that's a sign of disrespect or maybe even a it wouldn't be a kill either way that is not the kind of tank i'm talking about something cool yeah no they propose what i'm going to say is they proposed a much more gigantic version it was it was during the period of the war where they were doing poorly and they started proposing those wonder weapons to Hitler.
Starting point is 03:13:45 The jet fighters and the ICBMs and all the craziness. Also, looking for Arthurian artifacts, looking for the Shroud of Turin and the fucking Ark of the Covenant and all that stuff. They were really doing that shit. But they had this... It was gigantic.
Starting point is 03:14:02 It would have been like you said, like a land battle. Like a land ship. Wouldn't that be was gigantic it would have been like you said like a like a land battle like a land ship yeah just wouldn't that be sick it would have to be huge to disperse the weight so that it's not just like creating wouldn't be a long dart yeah yeah like but that would be and i i get it it's not practical but that's cool as shit a ship-sized tank that we can and it can shoot from so far away maybe it would be a little bit practical well no the idea was that it would be so armored that it could withstand any air attack or any direct attack there would just be feet and feet of armor that it just wouldn't matter what you hit it with that's a good idea rolling bunker
Starting point is 03:14:39 yeah we should why don't we do that i think think we should. We spend so much on military. Let's do something cool with it. I think they do. I think they do. Something visually cool for us. Let's push off universal health care for 10 more years and get Taylor's tanks in here. If we get a big enough tank, okay. You'll get through the move long before we're getting universal health care. Now, that's an outstanding.
Starting point is 03:15:03 You got to keep your population hungry. Make them work for that medical... Yeah, we need... Ah, fuck. Or marry. I was going to say Nazi scientists are the way to get this done, but they're gone now. What a novel code.
Starting point is 03:15:14 I was going to say, we did take a lot of their stuff. We did. Well, I mean, you don't just leave good work on the fucking floor. You go, oh, we just conquered this part of Germany. Hey, there's a lot of interesting maths regarding rockets here let's just go ahead and let's stop that in the jacket pocket you know hey you looking for free clearance after world war ii you want to go to the moon and he's like yeah and that's just what they did like yeah i was never that big on the whole war thing anyway. I'm mostly a guy who's autistic for the moon. The talented Nazis got utilized and the non-talented ones got executed.
Starting point is 03:15:53 Yeah. Where they were like, I bet that was like a funny interview. Kyle just leaked Trump's immigration strategy. Yes. Yes. Look, who doesn't want that immigration strategy i think there should
Starting point is 03:16:06 be a filter all right that's all just a filter whoa a filter who can enter a country where you imagine a screen it's a screen door that would be the kyle policy it'd be a screen door you know and i and i would no more wall just screen all bugs, all the insects and the vermin, they get stuck. The mosquitoes, stuff like that, they can't make it through the screen door. No, the Taylor test is that we go even further. We're going to reconfirm citizens. We're going to make them take one of those 1940s spelling voting tests, and everyone who fails it, you got to go.
Starting point is 03:16:42 Sorry. You're a Mexican now. If I'm one of the senators on the like, we're putting the test together and we all get to enter. Well, the state of Georgia will never sign unless we can. We have a few questions of our own included in the
Starting point is 03:16:55 quiz. Like what question would you want to interject? I've got my question. It's not a question. It's not a verbal one. We have two doors. For the guys, there's an IQ test of some sort. For the girls, we just make the door 12 inches wide. 12 inches wide. And if they can get in, they're allowed in.
Starting point is 03:17:13 They have to walk up to like a, they have to like pace towards a wall. And if their nose hits before their tits, you're out. Oh my God. Clearly it's anti-Semitic. It he doing no the the jewish gals will be fine they got those big milk it's 1942 all over again the last dude if there was a question like for voting rights that was like what does a semi-cololon do what percentage of the country do you think can still vote that year oh if you don't give me multiple choice man i think you're uh you're separating like two i can't i can't what was the question what is the semicolon like what does the semicolon do
Starting point is 03:17:58 oh shit so it it breaks up two thoughts in a compound sentence ish how close am i that's close yeah it separates two independent clauses that's it yeah see i would have gotten the multiple choice see but in taylor's america you can't vote what if what no i guess it's the same as biden's america can't vote either this is those parallel universes all end up the same. But that's just like someone picking a question of something they know. Like if they picked something else that was easy for them, like mathematically, I wouldn't be able to vote. I want an essay.
Starting point is 03:18:35 I want an essay. I'd give up my vote if it could go back to Kings. I like essays because you end up getting graded by your handwriting, and that's not fair to me. You can type it, Woody. We provide typewriters. You win me over. If you can't type, you can't get in, by the way.
Starting point is 03:18:51 We don't want any non-typing people here. It's 2024. If you can't type, it's fine if you can't type. If you're already American, you get grandfathered in, but no new non-typers. No, you're too generous. Inpecking is going to be over in the next 10 years in this country, in my America. Okay. What okay what would the sab though oh i will look it's based on a question and it's like
Starting point is 03:19:11 um uh do you believe that the united states is exceptional and if so why what makes the united states exceptional i want to know why you think united states is the place to be are you here because oh this is like i had a binary situation it was like either i stay in poverty or go to where all the money is is that why you're here i don't need you i don't need you yeah like are you here because you have this really um well you have this really well-formed understanding of what makes the united states an exceptional place to live and you want to chip into that situation and reap the benefits of it uh but by becoming an american and by like feeding putting into the system do you have some plan
Starting point is 03:19:54 in place or do you just want to like be set free on the streets to run amok like i don't know i need to know i don't know what's in your heart but i don't know if i'm going to get there with some remember that scene in sopranos where they're sitting there memorize memorizing answers to the immigration exam he's like who led civil rights movement cia they were fighting against the civil rights movement taylor but but close you don't get in now you can't vote no you're wrong on that. What are you talking about? They were fighting Martin Luther King.
Starting point is 03:20:28 I literally don't know. I was just antagonizing you. They killed Martin Luther King. The FBI killed Martin Luther King. Well, the CIA. They were in his pocket. See, you might not know that. As someone who made it up just now. They recorded him having sex and they were trying to expose his affairs and stuff like i didn't hear about that yeah tell
Starting point is 03:20:49 him to kill himself like writing him those letters like you should just kill yourself and i heard that and i'm like man i'm split on this guy yeah yeah on mlk or on or on uh j edgar hoover yes i saw brand i linked it earlier. Brandon Herrera made a video, I'm guessing, today. I didn't look at the date. No, it was older. Okay, good. It was like breaking down the MLK assassination.
Starting point is 03:21:15 And that thumbnail is wild. Shout out, Brandon. Brandon rules. My goodness. I like that. I like the thumbnail. He just didn't give a fuck. I clicked on the video, but I didn't see the thumbnail.
Starting point is 03:21:31 Can you describe it? Oh, it's Martin Luther King giving a quasi Hitler salute. And there's a there you go. And then there's a bullseye on his head. And then Brandon's. Well, there you go. That's funny. But that's not a hitler salute
Starting point is 03:21:45 he's waving come on well you know you know how it is they caught him this way that's that's a wave hitler's was when he like kind of went like that but it was close to the chest was it more forward out like no no you're not gonna get me on that one you're not gonna get me fucking sing highland but no we talked about it many times everybody else did the totally do the real one and then hitler just kind of did like yeah yeah that's a key and peeled bit by the way have you seen it no i've only the only key and peel that i've seen is when they're like calling their uh girlfriends bitches watch the nazi shit the nazi shit's really good. There's one
Starting point is 03:22:25 where there's black people with white face trying to hide from a Jew hunter or a Negro hunter or something like that. I can't remember which. He's asking them questions and interrogating them and they're clearly very black.
Starting point is 03:22:44 And then there's one where I think they're laying on the floor playing dead and they're clearly very black um and then there's one where uh i think i think they're laying in the floor playing dead and they're clearly it's completely different but it's nazis they're pretending like they're dead because there's just a gunfight and they're clearly not dead and like the nazi commandant is going on and on about how cool it was to meet hitler and his underling is like noticing that the black soldier is alive not dead he's like sir sir stop interrupting me I'm almost done
Starting point is 03:23:11 those are good I like their Nazi shit I'll check it out sounds funny I don't know much about that I know you don't like I was going to say I know you don't like him because he's a racist who? Key I know you don't like him. Oh, go ahead. I was going to say I know you don't like him because he's a racist.
Starting point is 03:23:26 Who? Key. Oh, I've never seen his movies, so I don't actually know what they're about. They're really good. Yeah. You've said they're all right, but you've also said that they're not actually scary. So I'm not going to watch a horror movie that's not really scary. What is scary, though? What horror movie scares you?
Starting point is 03:23:44 watch a horror movie that's it's not really scary what is scary though what like what horror movie scares you or or like like i don't necessarily like my favorite horror movie is the thing the john carpenter movie yeah i that's definitely my number one probably by a good bit it's very it's so well done is it pasting is good it's older it's in the eight i think it's oh the late 70s maybe something like that and it's very good at being unnerving like it has like the gore and all that it's not scary especially coming from you know someone now who's seen a lot more gruesome gore in films that looks more realistic but like the unnerving aspect of it i like a lot of like not knowing who is the beast who is the impersonator who isn't yeah it's that's what's scary now to me as an adult right as a kid it was about some jump scare of someone coming out of the woods or you know behind that door as an adult it's not
Starting point is 03:24:37 scary unless i'm thinking about it the next time i'm in the dark walking through tall grass yeah or like what's that one is it kyle which one's conjuring and which one's sinister so the conjuring is is the one with the couple who like do paranormal stuff the guy the man and the woman and they go to um you know his name it's the guy from band of brothers they They go to his house to deal with some demons and spooks that they got going on there. And I think Sinister is the one where you've got the Bagul, which is the child-stealing demon who tricks the kids into or convinces the children to murder their own families and then records it. And Ethan Hawke finds all those recordings of it upstairs. I think you're correct. Yeah, you talking about both of them reminded me.
Starting point is 03:25:28 I like both of them. They're both very good, but The Conjuring is genuinely creepy. The first one is excellent. Yeah, the first Conjuring is great, and scary movies are hard to do right because it's so easy to fuck up or to overplay your hand and make it appear silly instead of startling your character. I said a long time ago that the baba duke really really bothered me and i think some people watched it and said i didn't get me that one didn't yeah but but like
Starting point is 03:25:50 when i was watching it i i had to turn it off because it was so upsetting like there was a part where the baba duke was like the lady's in bed and it's it's nighttime and her bedroom door just opens creakily and it like crawls in on the ceiling and it's like a spider almost crawling around the ceiling and she's hiding under the covers from it and when she peeks it's crawled right on above her bed but it's doing this backwards neck thing looking at her and it just pounces on her face and i was like all right that's it yeah we're done we're done we're done for the night we're not not going to watch the rest of it. I haven't watched a good spook.
Starting point is 03:26:26 Are you a scary movie guy, Scott? I like them, but it's kind of the same thing. I think it's more cerebral for me. I like interesting concepts. Children of the Corn was probably one of the... I was kind of like yeah the first time i saw that i was younger but it was like a really good movie um but i'm a nightmare on elm street scared the hell out of me when i was a kid too my wife is downstairs
Starting point is 03:26:55 watching that with my son right now yeah from 1984 damn yeah that's a that's a good one i don't remember being too scared i saw it too old i think did you see i think it's the second one it's the gay one it's the one with all the gay undertones and like like the gym teachers like clearly gay and they're at the they're at the leather bar there's a gay one yeah yeah oh my god it's i it's either the second or third one i i can't remember which but it's there are there's i But I've watched all the interviews and stuff. And it's funny to see some of the actors are like, yeah, it was clearly very gay. It was gay.
Starting point is 03:27:33 And then another guy is like, I had no idea that we were making a gay film. But it has become in the gay community just a cornerstone of what it feels like, the teen angst and the coming out and it's it's it's very very gay it's it's about being gay and dealing with it and and everything around it while in the middle you've got freddy krueger you know murdering people he krueger's even a little sexy with the the boy in this one and i think that um they talked about him maybe like licking him or something, but they thought it was too far. There was lots
Starting point is 03:28:08 of weird stuff in that movie. It's bizarre. It's not a good movie. All the horrors I see now are just bad. I haven't seen a good horror movie in fucking forever. I feel like HD is a bad way to do horror movies too.
Starting point is 03:28:24 I feel like if you see things too clearly, if everything's too crystal, you're it's kind of, there's, there's no mystery or anything like that. Yeah. Yeah. I agree.
Starting point is 03:28:32 There's, there's something to be said about when we were watching like the thing, for example, on a fuzzy tube TV that might even been small. And it's like, man, what is that? Well,
Starting point is 03:28:43 I can't really see it. It's in the dark. It's all, Oh no, you can see it it's in the dark it's oh oh now you can see i don't know there's something to now i'm on the you know a gigantic 4k tv and it's everything's crystal clear if you show too much of the monster um or if your cgi is a little wonky in some way i'm not afraid of cgi monsters almost ever yeah it's i i'm not really sure the alien abduction thing has always been really scary to me because i kind of believe it just a little like enough that i'm afraid of it and i remember that thing woody said about being in the situation and then being afraid of it
Starting point is 03:29:19 um i would uh when i was a kid i would i would jog to the end of the driveway and back. And it's dark down there. Like, we're in the country. And when you get to the end, you're in the woods. And I would always imagine that there were aliens in the woods trying to get me and run as fast as I could back home. And I remember thinking, like, this is as fast as I ever am. This is my fastest when I'm running from the aliens in the woods. And I know it was true. Like, if you had somebody other than stopwatch 100 i'm fast yeah you were going d1 if they would have
Starting point is 03:29:50 had the time or then if they had gotten like a scary alien on the sidelines i could have been like a water boy era like style talent where they just got to get the like the great alien face out on the sidelines and freak me out. That could have been it. It's really just most movies now. I'm not like and I think maybe it's the nature of like streaming services and their
Starting point is 03:30:15 their business model when it comes to a lot of the movies they make, which is like shotgun like, all right, make a lot of them. And if we make enough, a couple of these are going to be unexpected hits what would be good a little more like you could tell by well the ads but like big time movies the the ads would just hit different it's like oh this forrest gump is going to be a major event movie saving private ryan is going to be dope now good movies and bad
Starting point is 03:30:47 movies go straight to streaming and it's difficult to tell what it's supposed what's good and what's bad you don't like realize what's a social i guess phenomenon until it's like oh it's trending on twitter i guess a lot of people are watching this like there's there's no way to know because so many people have ads blocked for everything you don't even have the the run-up yes have you seen midsummer it's by ari aster the same one who did hereditary it's it's where the couple goes to this like weird norwegian festival out in the country i haven't watched it i should though because i liked hereditary i felt so bad for that funny-faced girl i love when she dies it's the best part of the movie um but but midsummer is like weird it's very upsetting and it's very like it's it's creepy it's because you
Starting point is 03:31:36 don't and it's very bright instead of uh lots of darkness and for a horror movie it's bright daylight i think in every scary scene like every scary scene is bright daylight i can't remember what no one that i knew um but but but like the girl's face when you see the girl's face it they may memefied the face she makes toward the oh the crying at the end i've seen that is that it there's maybe she's like smiling and crying or something yes that's it yeah um and there's a part of the beginning i can't remember what they call it the guten schlepp or something it's it's the practice of when the old people would jump off of a cliff to kill themselves and like viking uh society because they were useless now and so you just there's a they have
Starting point is 03:32:22 that out of nowhere at the beginning, and the tourists are just like, what the fuck did we just watch? What the fuck did we just watch? And there's people smashed on the rocks. I'm like, this is the natural way of things, or however they sound. Not like that exactly. More of an authentic accent.
Starting point is 03:32:38 Why are you so offended? We are just tossing the refs out the way we do every midsummer oh you said the movie title is that how that one's good that one's weird um i i can't i watched the terrifier uh recently terrifier 2 actually that's stunk i did not like terrifier that's not my style it's so gory like over the top gory and not comical goriness like it's not like oh look at all that blood spraying like akira movies you know you'll it's a terrifier that's a clown one right yes he tortures people to death and it's just like i don't want to watch you torture people slowly to death like like it's terrible like that's that's what i don't want in a horror movie is i don't want
Starting point is 03:33:25 gore torture like i i i am not scared by that i'm just put off by it like it's it's to the point where it's like what about like i'll tell you one that's that's really uncomfortable and like it's called funny people and uh it's it's a home invasion movie where they like hold them hostage and sort of torture and and like torment um a couple oh that's not a comedy no is it funny people or funny games i actually you actually might be right because i think funny people is the adam sandler movie oh i was like dude adam sandler's getting real funny like i think i think you're right i think it's going to be funny games funny games okay yeah it was like a norwegian version or something and then there was like an american version yes um i haven't i've seen some like clips from the norwegian
Starting point is 03:34:18 version or whatever it is the older one but i've seen the new one and it's, it's upsetting. Like the violence. Just, just how drawn out it is and how it's more mental than physical. It's, it's like letting someone know you're going to do something awful to them. And then like spending 20 minutes talking about it. And then, you know what? Maybe I'll wait till later.
Starting point is 03:34:41 Ah, I really, if you were going to murder someone you hated, you probably wouldn't even do it that way to them because you'd be like, nah, nah, I hate this guy, but you know,
Starting point is 03:34:51 I just want to get it over with. But, and they're just strangers. I think if I remember correctly, like they've just, they have, they have no reason to do these things other than they want to do that. Sinister.
Starting point is 03:35:01 Yeah. That, that, I remember watching that and that one making me feel like kind of nauseous and kind of sick to my stomach like kind of wish i hadn't watched this of course i was a kid if it's if it's too over the top gore and cruel it can be off-putting and like oh this is it's it's cruelty and gore for the sake of it without it like playing into the character's motivations this one isn't really going you're trying to shock me right now yeah this one's and gore for the sake of it without it playing into the character's motivations.
Starting point is 03:35:25 It's like, oh, you're trying to shock me right now. Yeah, this one's more mental than gore. It's more the threat of what they're going to do, although they do awful things. The ending itself is... I don't want to spoil it. You should watch it. It's a dark horror movie. I'll try it out.
Starting point is 03:35:41 What was the title of that one? Funny Games. Funny Games. I'm try it out. What was the title of that one? Funny Games. Funny Games. I'm glad he corrected me and somebody didn't rent funny people and be like, this isn't scary at all. What a pussy.
Starting point is 03:35:57 There's a lot of Steve Carell singing. Once it gets scary, it's actually pretty good. I wish there were more movies and shows I actually enjoyed watching now. Survivor, you guys are both missing it. I don't like reality TV really. This is better than other reality TV.
Starting point is 03:36:17 Not a big fan of it. It doesn't pull me in. I fucking can't sell a TV show to Kyle. I'm the worst salesman ever well it's you know i've seen it i yeah i know you have a new season five you gotta watch reality tv with a woman though because like it kind of it's it's it's almost like um it's almost like an out like if you were sitting down watching Survivor on your own, you might feel a little
Starting point is 03:36:45 weird. But when you got the girl there, you're like, oh no, she's watching this and I'm watching her watch this. I'm telling her how dumb that person on the TV is. Yeah. She's watching Cakebox. I'm just here.
Starting point is 03:37:02 There's like, I don't know, 30 people at the start. Like 27 of them are better at this game than I am. And I'm just here there's like i don't know 30 people at the start like 27 of them are better at this game than i am and i'm just like watching them make moves working their strategies i'm like fuck that that's actually pretty clever they're not dummies the only one i like and it's only of clips of it is like a gordon ramsey cooking show it's fun watching him yell at people briefly but other than that not really and even then i can't remember the last time i watched a gordon ramsay show that's what i watch i i watch all of the gordon ramsay shows no matter how shitty they are i watch him cook with children i watch him
Starting point is 03:37:35 cook with adults i watch him yell at restaurants and rebuild hotels i watch all that shit i the man's a billionaire and he's he comes out with a new Fox TV show every fucking year. I don't, I don't know. I watch them all. Like, like I'll just start watching a new show or a movie or something. And always I'm like,
Starting point is 03:37:53 is this, is this as good? Are you enjoying this as much as you would just enjoy kind of having old Simpsons, old King of the Hill that on in the background? It's like, no, like I don't like i'd rather watch
Starting point is 03:38:06 season four simpsons again than this you know uninteresting nonsense and maybe maybe that's like part of getting older is that like you want to go back to these things that kind of tickle that nostalgia feeling of like oh man i remember watching this season for the first time of the simpsons and you know late school, middle school, whatever it was and enjoying it and that happy, carefree feeling. Snow day feeling. I've been watching
Starting point is 03:38:33 hours and hours of Warhammer lore. This character said this to that character. This character made this sword. Then 10,000 years passed. Just hours and hours of that i really like it that's what you're into now yeah yeah like like every day probably at least two we can play total war warhammer 3 again sometime oh see that's fantasy that's that's oh you're
Starting point is 03:38:56 doing 40k yeah i like the 40k stuff the space marines and all that shit i'll get you on age of empires eventually we'll play rusted age of empires i sent it to you as a gift so there's no excuse you've been watching uh taylor and i have a similar ish sleep schedule we were both up pretty early in the morning and uh and i'll watch him play age of empires and he'll watch me play tarkov are you you're not tempted to come over to tarkov and manage that ridiculous inventory system and all that horse shit? No, Tarkov seems too high stakes for that, but when I've watched you and other people in the
Starting point is 03:39:30 Patreon Discord play Rust before, I'm like, alright, this kind of looks fun. I can see myself enjoying this. So I'm happy to play Rust when you're done with Tarkov and get back into it. And I know for a fact once you play AoE 2, you're going to fall into it just like Age of Mythology.
Starting point is 03:39:46 And you'll get good at it. And it will... I don't know. If you end up playing regularly, I'll end up getting frustrated because you'll be better than me. So while, and I went on it in nauseam, while Tarkov has those high stakes or whatever, nobody's mean to you.
Starting point is 03:40:02 Like, even when people talk shit in VoIP, they're kind of respectful about it because everybody's 30s and 40s and shit like there aren't a lot of children that play the game or even young people that play the game but in age of empires they play those like auto sound effects yeah you can sound effects you can enter numbers haha you are the king of losers you are the king what does it say yeah you can you can enter sound effects that play globally through your opponent's ears so if you type 11 it goes like a laugh like a condescending laugh happens and if you hit like 80 or something like that it goes like some goofy voice is like all hail king of the losers and so like your your base that you worked
Starting point is 03:40:43 so hard on and you're trying to win in a fight, and then he rolls in and he's better than you. And the whole time, it's also a flex to show that you're so much better than someone that you've got the extra APM to just type sound effects to them while you're wrecking them. And so I'm just getting like,
Starting point is 03:41:00 ha ha ha'd and king of the losers. I actually downloaded a Trump taunt pack. It was like an included mod in the game. The mods in the game, you just click checkmark. And so if I put in like 456 or whatever, you can get Trump to say stuff like, what a disgusting shithole you live in. I can't believe you're even upset I'm destroying it.
Starting point is 03:41:21 Like weird stuff like that. See, that's disrespectful. That you can play while you're doing it. It is disrespectful but it's, and I don't have the AP, I'm not good enough, I've never sent a taunt in a game, like because I'm so focused on trying to be decent at it and not lose.
Starting point is 03:41:35 You say it was 11? How hard is it to hit 11? Dude, you're you are non-stop doing something in this game. You're managing an economy, you're managing a raid, you're managing getting raidedided you're trying to manage your upgrades you're dealing with your resources you're taunting i am and i'm on a fucking i'm not to not to brag being but i'm on a hot i'm saying i'm being taunted by so this guy this guy yesterday what's he gonna tie yeah you're right i'm sorry i'm sorry this guy yesterday beat me senseless like at no point in the game did i have a chance it was beyond frustrating upsetting
Starting point is 03:42:15 just getting owned like that on i've never experienced i've always been good about not getting tilted in games because i just don't put that much stock in it. I die after a big kill streak in Call of Duty. It's like, oh, damn it. That stinks. But in this game, when I've been building my farms so perfectly and I'm right about to hit Castle Age and get my knights on the field and start claiming map control and going on the offensive,
Starting point is 03:42:40 and then he sends a bunch of archers shooting my villagers off the wood line or off my gold i'm like i'm tilted i'm like hearts beating faster than it does when i work out and i'm like all right these guys over there we can move them over oh no they're in on the other side too okay okay all right we can we can manage this and then there is a point in your head where it's like being on the titanic you're like, there's no coming back. I get more afraid in a Tarkov gunfight sometimes than I do when I was being sentenced in federal court. My fucking hands will go numb from the adrenaline rush. I'll have so much adrenaline going that my hands go tingly and the fingers and,
Starting point is 03:43:26 and shake. And, and, and I have to literally shake my hands out and like clap them together and then put them back on the mouse and keyboard. Like, like I have to, I get so fucking stressed out by that shit. So if somebody was taunting me about something I care so fucking much about for some goddamn reason, that would ruin my day. See, everybody says... You gotta get good enough to be on the taunting. I'll get good enough that I can taunt eventually. See, there's just more gentlemen playing
Starting point is 03:43:53 Tarkov. That's what it is. Everybody's very... Yes. You gotta jump on. You'll have so much fun with me. We'll have a blast. Perhaps. You're good at RTS. You'll pick it up quickly. I'm good at Rts when i devote my fucking existence to it like like like i'm not just we we talented at rts we wrecked people 2v2 in age of mythology do you remember the spreadsheets and the fucking note taking i do
Starting point is 03:44:18 it was fun dude you play i don't remember i think who did you play we always play the same too i played loki so i could temple rush him, and then you built behind. So I had the Egyptians or something like that. I probably had some, like, walking Karifact with, like, laser eyes or something crazy that I would bring out on him. Yeah, you'd have so much fun, dude. It's such a fun game. I'm having fun in Tarkov.
Starting point is 03:44:39 I'm playing so much Tarkov that I'm getting kind of good at. I'm fucking clicking people in the head. It's nice. You've been good at Tarkov, though. Some guy was, like, strafe jumping today and just clicked him in the head. It's nice. You've been good at Tarkov, though. Some guy was like strafe jumping today and just clicked him in the fucking head. One tap. Oh, it felt so good. It feels so good, Taylor. I take all their goods.
Starting point is 03:44:52 I take their juice. I drink their juice. I take all their odds and ends and doodads. When I get a win, I see my little ELO number go up. And then when I get a loss, I see that little ELO number go down. Do you buy better get a loss, I see that little Elo number go down. I'm trying to look at my stats. Do you buy better clothes yet, Kyle?
Starting point is 03:45:07 Do you invest in your drip? So it's actually one of the cheapest clothing items you can buy. It matches the snow, though. I went for purpose. Instead of getting the cool shit, I got the lightest colors that you can buy and wore those.
Starting point is 03:45:22 So it's a white jacket and light blue pants. So I blend in better with the snowy environment that Tarkov has right now. colors that you can buy and wore those so it's a white jacket and and light blue pants so i blend in better with the snowy environment that tarkov has right now you need to fucking go in there ball swinging with the pilgrim and some black and white they took they took the recoil down to call duty levels and nobody moves and i mean i know it's always been like that but i mean nobody fucking moves uh it's that you can buy an m4 in that game ready to go for 150,000 rubles. Ready, made, built, like a trade. It's as good as the best meta M4s used to be.
Starting point is 03:45:55 It's no recoil with a scope, like just drilling holes in people's heads. They may have been too aggressive with the recoil. It's very easy to burn people down in that game right now do you game at all Scott? yeah he's been playing a lot of Fallout he said
Starting point is 03:46:12 maybe streaming and making videos and shit I was actually going to ask about I was actually going to ask about what game you were talking about was it Age of Empires? Age of Empires 2 is that on Steam? it's on steam yeah eight of empires two definitive edition it's a it's a game for kings so it's the best game of all time it's the most complicated game of all time
Starting point is 03:46:35 it's it's so fucking difficult game of all time it's okay what's more complicated i mean what requires more apm i suck at it i'm not saying i'm a good gamer what's that space game eve online where they've got those giant economies and they they have battles with like hundreds of thousands of real dollars being burnt up in space that's not a game that's a lifestyle yeah i think anthony kumi got addicted to eve online back in the day or something like that but dick masterson used to play and make money. Dick did too. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:47:07 No, AoE, it's so complicated. There's so much to remember. There's so much to do. It's shocking. I remember playing as a kid and being like, oh, I'm not going to go kill that boar. I know he'll attack my villager. And so just playing it calmly as a child. I'll just make some nice pretty farms and do this.
Starting point is 03:47:29 And now as an adult, you watch YouTube videos, and it's so fucking sweaty. It's so sweaty. It's like you need to go up at 18 pop in order to hit the scout rush because your opponent's going to be running this build order. And if you go up too slow, you're going to be fucked. And every little thing, there's opportunities for error. scout rush because your opponent's going to be running this build order. And if you go up too slow, you're going to be fought. Like it's, and every little thing,
Starting point is 03:47:47 there's opportunities for error. Oh, I lured the board too slow. Oh, I hit the wrong. I pop capped myself. I didn't get people to wood fast enough. Oh,
Starting point is 03:47:56 I started going up to feudal age and I didn't move four people from sheep to wood so that I can hit the scout rush with the stable. As soon as I hit, it's so complicated, but it's so fun. And I'm bad at it. I suck. That's the best. Honestly, that's the best.
Starting point is 03:48:12 The most fun you're going to have at a game is it's when you love the game and you love playing the game, but you're bad at it. You're still bad at it. You haven't gotten those noob gains yet from that first little carouse around YouTube. I'm in the zone, baby. You haven't gotten those noob gains yet from that first little carouse around YouTube.
Starting point is 03:48:28 Oh, I have the noob gains. If I play with someone who's only played in private matches with their friends, I'll probably whoop up on them. But online, those people... Dude, I see those fucking Chinese characters come up in my opponent list and I'm like, all right, fingers cracked coffee down, like time to play. I'm like nervous when the game is about nine,
Starting point is 03:48:50 baby, it's losing time. It's time to get absolutely destroyed. I don't think there's ever been a gaming community ever. That's more connected and integrated with its streaming and video making community than Tarkov tarkov tarkov is strewn with streamer items each of the streamers gets his own item in the game and i mean little streamers everybody seemingly gets oh that's cool and so like if i'm in a tarkov game and i just
Starting point is 03:49:16 randomly come upon a player that's willing to chat i'd be like hey do you know pastilli oh yeah of course i know pastilli you know landmark yeah i watch landmark all the time like a hundred percent of the time there's you're not gonna run into somebody in that game who doesn't watch the video does it not have a huge player base i imagined it it had a real release numbers okay but you can judge mostly by like twitch numbers when they do drops which is when viewers of twitch get rewarded with in-game items for the amount of hours they view you you tie all your accounts together. There'll be a couple hundred thousand people watching live continuously on one channel.
Starting point is 03:49:52 It's a fairly big community. I don't know how it compares to other big games. You said you played Fallout, or were thinking about streaming it. Is it just Fallout you're into, or are you into the Skyrim side of those games as well? I'm into Elder Scrolls too. I stream fallout new vegas right now on sundays um but i'm also playing through fallout too um i want to play morrow what's that i'm sorry i was gonna ask is this your first new vegas playthrough oh no no i'm fucking at least my like 15th i i'm on the
Starting point is 03:50:23 i'm on a similar that's my favorite fallout game by far oh yeah i really like it's so dark there's child fucking um trafficking and cannibals and pedophilia and all sorts of nasty shit in that game it's a that's a good game oh yeah you know it's it's um there's a lot of options that you can go to you know that that's the thing about fallout 4 i'm actually double pissed off about can go to. You know, that's the thing about Fallout 4. I'm actually double pissed off about Fallout 4 because, like, that's the game Boston gets is Fallout 4. Fucking, you're kind of railroaded the whole game.
Starting point is 03:50:54 But New Vegas, you feel like you actually do have a bit of a choice, even if a lot of the end points are kind of similar, you know? Yeah. Yeah, there's multiple avenues to take at the end of new vegas and feel like you did the right thing or the just thing or even the thing that you would do or your character would do but at the end of four it's like i don't know y'all guys seem like kind of evil and shit right yeah the bad guys huh i joined the brotherhood i i joined the that's the only fault i ever played and i joined the brotherhood because That's the only Fallout I ever played, and I joined the Brotherhood
Starting point is 03:51:26 because that was the only team that has fucking mechs. Well, they're kind of like might is right, authoritarian, military and shark. And on my playthrough, they ended up being correct. And if I play it again,'m going brotherhood i'm not gonna i'm gonna hang out with those underground losers until i can complete that quest that makes my gun better and then yeah the railroad cleaning house at the real frankly that's what i do too i stay with the railroad until i get i don't know what it is something that some end game kind of item
Starting point is 03:52:00 and then i'm like y'all gotta go yeah you guys are lame as shit do you know who you're up against you know they have a fucking zeppelin with mech suits up there and you guys are in a leaky basement the institute's got a goddamn teleporter like star trek dude they got they got commander data's running around zapping people um but you know they're super evil yeah the institute uh they seemed like the most evil. By far. I do like the twist. That was an interesting twist in that game. But once you know it and then you replay it,
Starting point is 03:52:32 it kind of takes, there's no, I don't know, it takes something away from it, knowing the end and knowing how it's, I don't know. I love New Vegas. I haven't played it in a while, but the main reason for that, each time I try to play it, I'm like, I'm going to mod it just the way I want. And then I'll spend days
Starting point is 03:52:50 modding it. But I'm not... When I mod games, I don't often have a really good understanding of everything I'm doing while I'm doing it. The tutorial I might watch might just say, move this here, slide that there without giving you that broader depth of understanding.
Starting point is 03:53:07 So I'll accidentally move a folder somewhere it's not supposed to go or a file to a folder that it's not supposed to go into. And the whole thing breaks. And it's like a needle in a haystack, except you don't know what needles look like. Yeah. Time to uninstall and reinstall the vanilla game. Not even that will fix it sometimes because i've done things to other files outside of the game i've done things to my pc so i will absolutely i will factory restore after a failed mod attempt of new vegas and get so mad i get so mad that i'm just like i'm gonna go play a fucking game that I don't have to spend days and
Starting point is 03:53:46 watch. Like, like I'll have so many tabs open the easiest way to mud using. No, I'll fuck it up somehow because I want so many, uh, script extenders and stuff installed too. I don't want to do it the easy way.
Starting point is 03:53:56 I want my chick to have big titties. I want them to have like physics. I want to be able to add he man's fucking sword. I want to do a lot of shit. And, uh, you know, cause I want like be able to add He-Man's fucking sword. I want to do a lot of shit because I want the perfect experience, but I'll usually fizzle out after two days of trying to do that and not get it done. New Vegas was harder to mod than 4 big time.
Starting point is 03:54:16 Yeah, I tried to mod New Vegas just to make it run smoother and stuff like that, and it didn't quite work. I really don't know how people are able to mod like that. It's like a learning curve to new vegas run more smoothly isn't that game like 15 years old yeah well i i mean i was told you just you mod it and it doesn't crash as much and shit like that oh yeah it was a rushed problematic game um and uh but but they did the they did a really good job the script the The story's great, but it has some bugs. I was stuck on the
Starting point is 03:54:49 15-year-old game not running smoothly. At this point, Skyrim runs on a home pregnancy test. If New Vegas can't run on your PC, what the fuck? I mean, you've run it at 4K or whatever still. It looks amazing. When you're running all the mods and texture packs and everything,
Starting point is 03:55:09 all those games do. If you're modding the game, it becomes a game. I'll play New Vegas then. I need to download the mods and texture packs and all that. Oh, is it not? Okay, how many clicks is it? What we're talking about right now is that we can't do it. Like Scott and I have failed at it.
Starting point is 03:55:24 I did it once. But sometimes you're just built different you know i got it to work like five years ago and had a great time dude the way i like mods in my game is the way like aoe2 does it where you go to the fucking mods tab okay and you just click check mark next to all the ones you like. And then you go back to main menu and they're all there. Yeah. It's like, Oh,
Starting point is 03:55:50 this is great. There's, there's a bunch of different kinds of mods. There are some mods that do exactly that. You go on to mod the next mod manager and you're like, Oh, this one gives me a green hat. Click.
Starting point is 03:56:00 I got a, I got a mod that replaced, I got a mod that replaced the aoe2 soundtrack with the the lord of the rings soundtrack oh that's good and so and it usually the beginning of the game it starts me off in the shire everything's everything's fine it's going calm it's good and then sometimes when shit gets real later in the game like helms deep music is playing and that's like a perfect little thing because lord of the rings soundtrack some of the best music ever fantastic yeah i don't know if that's that's not john williams but whoever did it did a good job yeah i don't know it's really
Starting point is 03:56:33 good it's um oh i lost my train of thought what game were we talking about just before that uh fallout new vegas new vegas fallout aoe 2 um fallout 4 skyrim it's gone now that's what happens that's the power of t i was gonna say i'm i am i think i'm gonna play grand theft auto a good bit when it comes out i'm excited for that that looks like a i don't know that looks like the most technologically advanced game that's there's ever been right the only kind of like that they spend so much money on it's it's like yeah it's like so a huge studio spent hundreds of millions of dollars thousands of people collaborating to make a thing that i can buy for 60 dollars that's why i'm an avatar too i was like i'm not super into the Avatar universe or anything,
Starting point is 03:57:27 but it's like a big thing somebody worked on. It's why I watch the fucking World Cup soccer now and then. It's like I'm not even that into soccer, but obviously I'm calling it soccer. Yeah. But it's a thing that the whole world's caring about right now. Let's look. Yeah, I just liked it.
Starting point is 03:57:43 Something about how much money and how much time and effort went into it i'll definitely play the story i i'm not i want i like to be able to make the character look like what i want the character to look like which is always a white woman and so that's why i didn't play grand theft auto 5 wow fucking couldn't be a white woman i you had to be a black man you had to be and I didn't want to be I really wanted to be a white woman you shift like you pick what character you want to be in the moment you can be the black guy
Starting point is 03:58:14 the white guy who's normal or the white guy who's crazy you sure I really should have bought the game then is it too late to buy the game now normal guy yeah that's what i remember right because i my favorite character was that like lunatic white guy what was his name that like but he'd be like oh it's time to go crazy and he'd like drive his fucking truck around like all his missions
Starting point is 03:58:41 were more fun yeah you like hit like b or x or whatever and it like pulled up the menu and you can switch between the three characters i didn't play it because of that so you i could probably go back to it now huh yeah you could just avoid one story well you're gonna have to play as a black guy because some of his storylines are very fun what i think i think the where do we start out with yeah you're coming right you try to sneak the black guy in when you're right you're right this is like that jack reacher show all over again it is they're trying to make kyle play as a black man but kyle is a proud white i have no no we are not allowed to be proud he is the proudest white man you've ever seen we're's always telling me white pride. Kyle says, I'm proud to be... I can't wait to stand for the Black National Anthem
Starting point is 03:59:30 at the Super Bowl this year. I'm going to kneel for the Black National Anthem. Does anybody want to bet on the Super Bowl with me? I think it's Chiefs all the way. Anybody want to bet against the Chiefs? The Eagles have to be favored. The Eagles aren't in the superbowl excuse me the
Starting point is 03:59:46 niners i hope the 49ers are favors mahomes is apparently good in being the underdog but then i see other stats where it's like no you just cherry pick this he's always good like what he's like he's fine so hopefully he can bring another fucking... What is the NFL championship trophy called? The Lombardi. The Lombardi. Okay, hopefully he can bring another Lombardi trophy to the proud state of Missouri. It's a different one every year?
Starting point is 04:00:14 I don't know. Or I'm asking. I don't know. Does Kansas City play for Kansas? No, KC's in Missouri. I'm not falling for your problem. Overland Park is a suburb in KC that's in Kansas, and it's the nicest area
Starting point is 04:00:27 of Kansas City. They play in Missouri. The stadium's in Missouri. No one believes you. You don't have to. We're sports city, but we got Stanley Cup in 2019. Super Bowl 2020. Super Bowl
Starting point is 04:00:42 2022. We don't have a basketball team. We say, who needs it? 2022 we don't have a basketball team we say who needs it we don't even want a basketball team basketball is gay and it sucks hockey and football are the only sports that matter and MMA, I'll throw you guys a bone there I don't like any of that shit
Starting point is 04:00:58 if I'm being honest, it's just a drag you like football I don't know I like hanging out with people watching football i guess but i don't really yeah like just like that's what i mean like when i'm watching football usually i'm like hanging out with buddies the problem is i get too invested in things like when i i i get upset and and and there's no reason to be upset because my grown-ass man watching children play a fucking sport on tv and yet i can't watch a University of Georgia football game
Starting point is 04:01:26 without getting upset. I get nervous. I get nauseous. I get mad. I get real mad. Then I start feeling like there's been some sort of... The refs are in on something, and then I get all conspiratorial. You're a Georgia fan.
Starting point is 04:01:40 I'm on message boards. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. You know Ugga died? You know Ugga died? You know Ugga died? Our fucking mascot died. The dog died? The dog died. The dog died after the season.
Starting point is 04:01:53 They'll get a new one. It's fucking Hollywood magic. When they told the dog that they had come down and not let us go to the playoffs, the dog killed itself. So will the next dog be named Ugga too? That's how we handle fish. Actually, we're on to Ugga 16 or something like that. I'm on to Hector too. That's awful. You've got to give him a new name, man.
Starting point is 04:02:16 No, no, no. I like to pretend the first one never died. Imagine if somebody did that with their kid. Good Hank! Oh, that's a good idea. T-H! You can their kid. Good Hank. That's a good idea. TH. Yeah. You can't name him good Hank.
Starting point is 04:02:30 Let's wrap up. I haven't eaten yet. I'm so hungry. Scott, where can everybody find all the content you're making? YouTube.com. Scott Sullivan MMA. Instagram. Shit, what's my...
Starting point is 04:02:43 Oh yeah, Scott Sullivan MMA on Instagram Twitter Sullivan underscore MMA check him out that's all linked below give him a follow thank you very much guys 685

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