Painkiller Already - PKA 688 W/ Richard Ryan: Try On Haul, Richard Was A Reply Girl, Woody Won The Death Pool

Episode Date: February 24, 2024

I've got cactate crafting. PKA 688 with our guest, Richard Ryan Taylor. This episode of PKA is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com, Merrick Health, and of course, Lock and Load. A lot of wonderful sponsors. We'll talk more about them later. Richard, thank you so much for joining us. You are muted. There you are.

No, dude. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Let me start by circle jerking here and say like i like the older i get the more i start thinking about certain things and i fucking hate people who close doors on other people and i really appreciate who people who are like assets like they always like just come to the conversation like willing to contribute introduce you, whatever. And Kyle, you were always that for me. Even early days YouTube, when we were doing fairly similar content,

some people would get competitive. You'd be like, hey, bro, let's do this. Let's do that. I'm glad you remember it that way. It's like almost 20 years now, man. Like fucking two decades until like i'm like i'm getting i'm like getting older and i'm like one decade right one and a half people who are like i don't know they're just door openers they're not like fuck you closing a door or whatever maybe i'm just dealing with too many VCs.

Richard, I can hit it back because I got this. I was talking to my mom two days ago, and she met somebody new. It was the owner of a dog, the bidder. And this guy was like this perfect, super nice guy. Everything was so perfect about this man that she's like, he's too nice. I don't trust him. And I was like, that can can happen but sometimes they're actually that nice i've known this guy richard bryan for over 10 years now and he's a he's that nice and he

just continues to be the actual him no so you're 100 i always say that about richard that he is he is so nice that you'll be suspicious of him at first because i'm glad that you're like yeah from the very start you're great no i was like that richard guy's way too nice he's trying to introduce me to people he's saying he's gonna like hook me up with this that and the other he knows people that he thinks i need to know no there's something going on here i don't trust this guy well you never you never you never conveyed it and i was polite about it i wasn't gonna be like i like, I don't trust you. You don't need to know that I don't trust you. Kyle, what was the thing you used to tell me?

That was at the Twitch party. It was back when it was... Justin? Yeah, it was at that party or maybe an after party of that party. I was chatting with you. It was a long time ago. Whenever we met and you came and obviously helped me with high um, high speed stuff, that's when I was just so happy to, to, you know, I felt like we had a, um, I don't know, symbiotic relationship, symbiotic relationship. Yeah, dude. I, I, I say that all the time.

There's, there's no reason for people to have parasitic relationships. Like there's, there's way too many people out there looking to extract value and not really provide it um it just it's it's it's so nice to just involve people around you that are just looking for symbiotic relationships provided for everybody i have been on both sides of the 80 20 like um no no i better yet i've been victimized by the 80 20 deal right you can do a win-win or you can do like machinima and get this win loss right where it's like oh we're gonna take 80 of the money we're gonna give you 20 not let you know that you're only getting 20 and fuck you over and that's how ea like got around machinima and stopped working with them they created their own thing so you could go

directly because they were like what we give you a 10 cpm and you took eight of them and gave the other two to the content creators. That's bullshit. And then they lost EA. And I have had the opportunity to screw over people who didn't know better and didn't take it because I'd much rather have 50, 50 deals for as far as you can see than an 80, 20. And then the guy figures out I'm an asshole.

Like it's way better. It's so funny you say that because I've been given that analogy a lot about the video game industry in the early days of machinima, specifically because last time we chat, I was kind of alluding to the things that I was building in the world of software development and everything.

But it was early days extracting value. We're going to become a choke point for this thing we know is big. This is probably a horrible analogy, but what I was trying to articulate to people is like, it's like a garden hose and watering a lawn or a fire hose. You got all this water coming out. And then you get somebody who's trying to choke it off a little bit and get a narrow focus so that they can extract the value.

It's like, well, the lawn's going to suffer for it, right? Like Machinima was extracting so much value that other content creators couldn't come to the table. And whenever all these other video game developers said, hey, you know what? Screw it. Let's let the market do its thing. This is going to be free advertising for us. In return, Call of Duty became the largest entertainment release every year for how many years? Scripted theater mode with Red versus Blue became a thing that never really would have happened had you not let the community say, just build. And that's why I'm such a big advocate for open source everything in a number of ways, because how do you compete with an Apple or a Microsoft? You have to incentivize developers that they can't hire. Yeah, they can hire the best ones in the world. They've got the

budget to do so. But if you really want to make a difference, build an open source ecosystem, fork it, and let's incentivize some developer in Argentina who's got time on his hands to make a meaningful contribution. it's just like again that's i go to value extraction people are just trying to control fucking things and i hate it i hate it you've been hanging around a lot of meanies like you're just thankful to be too far richard right in or do they get it right so if people don't know, Apple does roughly this. You make an app. I'm calling him Richard Ryan. I'm Joey Diaz. Like, hey, Joe Rogan. Anyway. Oh, so Apple takes 30% of the revenue. Right. So if you make a game, you can put it on there. They will handle all the freaking like credit card transactions. They'll get the platform. They have the user base. They have all this stuff. They provide a lot of value for their 30% in a game. Or if you make a better ruler, I don't know how you do that, or whatever it is you're going to put on the phone, then Apple will take almost a 30% profit, 30%. But then you get access to this ecosystem. And

that to me seems like a fairly good deal. But then it becomes a bad deal for certain things. Spotify comes to mind it's like dude a lot of work goes into that and apple imagine if apple got 30 of all of spotify's revenue that seems like a lot um there's probably other examples like tinder or something no that's perfect apple is perfect um and and again 20 years ago this is this is your mind is just on fire you're like hitting all the analogies I like to give in these conversations. Okay. While we're building-

We could be friends. Because YouTube and Apple are the two perfect examples. We're almost, 2006, 20 years ago, when YouTube came around, hosting a viral video, if you had a million views worth of van bandwidth would probably cost you a hundred grand. I'm like, you like, it would break a lot of people to try to host their own content. So YouTube was providing an insane value. But now when you start looking at things and like how they may wait various algorithms

towards things that may not be, you know, well, let's just say it, firearms. Great example. You know, everything that Kyle and I did on camera is legal in the US. It may not be in, you know, third world countries or places where firearms are restricted or whatever, but for them to demonetize or even restrict, um, in search and related curates a, a narrative to society and making firearms taboo. And it's like, well, now the only things you're going to see propagate are probably like school shootings or something like that. Not 22 plinkster out at the range, you know, with his two daughters practicing firearm safety, you know, and, and doing an Annie Oakley trick shot or something like that. That's really frustrating to me because the cost

of hosting on AWS and a number of services now is a fraction of that. So how do we build these infrastructures that, uh, essentially index all of these other videos? Um, and I, that's one of the reasons why I'm so excited about AI specifically and being able to parse all that stuff and cut through the noise. Because for 20 years, we have been manipulated in so many different ways to increase watch time on platform through the exploitation of our neurochemistry. It's so frustrating. If you're watching a cooking video, it shouldn't be 15 fucking minutes long. Give me the recipe and show me how to do it.

Don't try to extract value by milking the algorithm so you get more watch time on video. I'm going to make a four-hour podcast. Jesus Christ. Yeah, right? We could break it into 400 short clips. We're being nice. If you were to take and look at how much time you spent listening to somebody say,

like, comment, and subscribe, if you like this video or milking this, think of how much time of your life was spent. Is it one day? Is it two days? Is it weeks? What is that time of your life worth if you were to quantify it in dollars? Are you willing to pay $10 a month for a fucking app that distills this down and penalizes in some way, shape, or form people clickbaiting or not providing value or at least open sourcing it in a way that allows people to authentically rank what they like and what they dislike so that they're served up things that are better. But sorry, I think we need a little bit of human moderation on some of these sites. Like it seems like there's like how expensive would it be to

get a room full of college kids instead of being in a call center hawking credit cards to be like whoa i can see your labia let's take this off youtube so woody and i our new favorite guy youtube trend yeah well put this on our new page we want to monetize the labia woody like like we this is youtube triple x youtube x that's coming that that's the adult side that i want to monetize the labia, Woody. This is YouTube triple X. YouTube X. That's coming. That's the adult side that I want to help these girls get monetized on, not on the regular side where they're currently monetized.

There's this trend where these girls basically try clothes on. It's called a try-on haul. I just went to the store, did all the shopping. Now I'm going to try it on for you guys. And I'm sure it began as a very innocent thing, right? Like literally maybe a mom goes out shopping on a Saturday. It comes on girls. Check it out.

Look at all these shoes. I got, look at this blouse and they try on normal clothes. Well, that is not what it is anymore. It is only fans. It is, it is hot, hot girls often like, like, like eights and, and they are trying on see-through transparent lingerie. And I'm like, I can always almost always see pubic hair and nipples. And sometimes you can just see their labia.

Like they're just naked, essentially. And then there's this other side. And those are the Western girls. There's some Aussies. There's some Europeans. Mostly Americans, though. And then there's the scary side where it's these Eastern European chicks who who look too skinny with dark circles under their eyes and their mouth is moving but it's not their voice coming out it's a different russian lady being like oh how i like this transparent blouse show off my titty very

nice for you all i have boys you like my titty yeah and then the real girl probably saying please help me we gave the money to gustav if you could just get me out of here as far as he's probably really saying but you can't see what that's the darker side of the try on girls but i'm still a fan nonetheless of of both both sides the try on girls are interesting because at least the ones i see they'll have like 5.8 000 subscribers and i look at the video i'm like 725 000 views on 5 000 subs like this is totally organic yeah they're tremendous um i was watching one just before this like just before we got on i had there was some redheaded australian chick with um with some transparent lingerie um it was great what do you mean on youtube what do you mean where was i watching it no i said why

just just look at porn dude i like no i'm not i'm not like i'm not masturbating i'm not getting turned on i'm just having a good time i'm enjoying the the art form uh over on youtube you know i can tell like scrolling through the suggested for try on hall right now there is no middle ground between pornographic actress and morbidly obese whale like that's all there is there's no normal women trying like like the nipple pasties thing you're right there's women trying nipple pasties on and then there's this woman who i don't even want to link for zach to show because it would be bullying but she looks like a fucking garbage bag full of melon pulp this disgusting animal how does melon well i mean he said see-through clothing i just don't

know if the viewers understand how see-through this strip tease like at a strip club they wear more like like i've never been to a strip club with like a um there's topless bars and there's strip clubs i've never been to a topless bar where you see this much pussy as you do on youtube you know when a nipple is erect sometimes there's like almost little goosebumps around the nipple. You can see those through the clothing. That's the level of transparency we're talking about. Yeah. Full on.

You don't miss it. They do a fun. This one chick does this fun move where she wears like a transparent gown and then behind her. And I mean, like behind her ass is a big bright light that shines through the gown so that you can see her vagina just perfectly through everything and she's just moving back and forth i don't know what do you

guys think and then my favorite is the idiots in the comments who think this is genuinely a lady trying to pick out clothes and they're like i think outfit three it really makes your eyes pop a lot of indian guys in these comments your boobs and vagina are so beautiful I am so very much a fan of your content Kyle the ones you're seeing are better than mine because at least they're like bringing the clothes home and doing lighting

mine are in the changing room at the store that's low class here I am there's mirrors on every wall but so you can see pretty well that's low class there's well here i am there's mirrors on every wall but uh so you can see pretty well that's stolen valor they haven't even bought the clothes sponsored by the brand the girls i watch are often sponsored by the brand they're like now head on over to the fucking love honey and get yourself some of this sexy lingerie use my code you're watching although i do like those eastern european girls who do not have any codes. They wish they had the code

to the door because it's locked. Do you think this guy is, do you think this guy, Steve, is interested in fashion? He says, she has the face of an angel and the body of a vixen typed with one hand. That's fucking cool.

I always just say great because you can do that with one hand yeah you left hand great that's why i adopted your water password on on video games yeah always water on video games yeah password yeah well now our lobbies are ruined thanks a lot taylor fuck you're right remove this sack using that password for 22 fucking years 22 years well no longer will my code names game games be private name for water is it hydrogen dioxide dihydrogen monoxide right thank you i think yeah i think i had it backwards we can use that well actually only taylor can use that i can't spell that half the kids i play with can't spell that shit yeah i'm in that that's why I'm playing video games with them.

They're easy to beat. I need the fucking... The best, we were playing Rust one time. Hold on, real quick. Peter left a comment that says, Nice areolas on this comment section. Did he spell areolas right? Yes, he did.

Is he correct? This wasn't his first rodeo saying nice areolas were they indeed nice areolas yes yes I'd say very nice I can see the whole thing back in my day I don't remember any

stuff I just remember titty girls there would be a lot of cleavage there was a lot of big titty goth girls and there was a lot of those replyitty goth girls um and there was a lot of those reply girls who would be kind of like looking up at the camera and and uh with their with their boobs out and oh the reply girls like my video would be called like i don't know ak-47 car destruction and their video would be called ak-47 car destruction colon reaction but did i ever tell you what i did thumbnail with like their titties like

superimposed on it and it's like what i want to watch the one with the titties dude so i uh i i had a reply girl channel and like i like testing out different channels to see how different things weigh in the algorithm and everything. And so I was like, screw these reply girls, man. They're like gaming the system. And I got some really busty woman mannequins. And I took photos of them. And I did a garbage mask a la Annoying Orange style. And I did voices for them.

And every day I would go through Google search trends because I didn't think that they were that smart in figuring out what was going to trend. And so I would do like 12 videos. Hey, guys, what's happening? Sexy womanican here. And a lot of times they would hit trending, which was fucking crazy. can hear voices. Did it get any views? A lot of times they would hit trending, which was fucking crazy. They started flagging my

videos. They started, I don't know, getting their little armies together and embodying my videos. Yes. Yes. I was like, okay, I got to test this because they would start copying my videos.

So if I uploaded a video on, let's say, FPS Russia with AK-47, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Within three hours, they would have a video up the same topic as mine. So I was like, I'm going to try to trick them here. I'm going to do a video that I think would look like it's going to trend. It was like a Samsung it's gonna trend it was like the like a samsung car or something like that that had like a lcd panel on it or something like that and i was like i know it's not trending it's probably not gonna trend but they'll think it is and i want to see if they copy me and they did all of them which is fucking crazy that i had this small channel that was just kind of testing this thesis on these

reply girls and they just they were botting me it was awesome i i hate to be this sexist but i wonder if it was the girls themselves running the channels or if they were like because there were there was a cod player i think that was like oh this is the girl who's good but it was really just like a guy with a hot girlfriend. Really? So you think there's Andrew Tate behind the scenes here? Yeah, it might be an Andrew Tate situation. Okay. I do remember the one big giant titty reply girl

that would make explicitly FPS Russia videos every time. She's a big fan. She would respond. Her reactions were so disinterested, I could be convinced that she was just... She did not care. Someone was off camera with a gun because she was... I was convinced that she hadn't watched my video.

The things she was saying could apply to a cooking video. Wow, the things that the person in this video did really blew my mind today. What a creative and innovative content creator. I gotta say, when you're doing things like insert name here, what are you doing? I don't think you watched the video. It was annoying, but only because they get like a quarter million views sometimes. And it's like, I don't know if that $500 was supposed to go to me or if that's just some extra that they got. But I wanted that slot.

You've got your video here, know, you've got your big, your video here. And then you've got this row of thumbnails into the right of it. I want all those, at least the first like half dozen or so should be me. And she'd sometimes get up there with her titties. It's like, I would put the titties too.

Clearly that's what we were talking about. Me clicking titties. Now you see use tags that were unique to me, things that look like passwords almost, you know, like not even real words, but it's like, all right, all right. If one to use tags that were unique to me. Things that look like passwords almost. Not even real words. But it's like, alright, alright. If one of the tags on this video, YouTube has tags for searching or I don't know what they're for. And the

goal was to own the sidebar, like you said. If you're enjoying my video, my hope is that the selection of other videos that you might go to next are also mine. There's a... Tmart had a very distinctive like text font uh and color pattern he had this gold on blue look and it and it was a certain background like the it was a bit abstract but once you knew it you knew it and you could pick a t-mart video

from a thumbnail uh and there was this guy stealing it making it his business to do so um now even there's a guy in the in the tarkov maybe i thought it was like alibaba or something like that was the channel i don't remember there's some guy in the tarkov community doing that now there's this guy that i watch he's the guy who makes like all the tutorials it's the three minute videos all right you want to know what this key does here's what it does thank you so much i make 10 000 of these because it's my passion and love and life thank you piranha and then this other piece of shit like i'm gonna make my video my thumbnails purple black and gold too and also show people where keys get turned and it's like fuck you man

fuck you with your with your bullshit you remember the guy who would target videos for advertising with and he would photoshop his face in with those people and run ads on their videos this is like early days when cpms and cpas were a little less oh man i wish i had some screenshots of that from back in the day he would do it all the big youtubers like i justine and everyone and he would run his ads on all their videos and like crudely, like he was like, you know, like you would say like a bearded overweight guy in his like fifties or something like that. I don't know.

It was just really funny. It was just a little side hustle for him. Yeah. Making some spending money, a little pocket cash. Oh, it was the wild west back then. That and selling women's shoes.

You think that was what he was doing? Yeah, in addition to his YouTube content. They go so well together. There's a good overlap there. It's like bait and tackle. Come on. At this point, I'll get into one thing on YouTube, and it's the only thing that will be suggested to me for like a six month period

and so it's almost like a cyclical obsession like if I go to my homepage right now it's nothing but Age of Empires 2 stuff to guarantee I'm going to stay into that and then I'll end up finding like a bunch of hockey highlights in a few months and then it'll be nothing but NHL stuff it's very predictive

in that way in a few months your team won't be playing. I really like that system. So never mind. I guess I'm in AOE2 for a lot longer than I thought. If you remember, they had almost a Reddit-like system that was so much better back before where you had categories.

I want to know what the biggest video in entertainment is and the biggest video... If I'm thinking pets and animal videos, I wish there was a category where i could go to and i could i could watch all the cute cat videos or whatever there's not though i don't think or if there is it's so deep within menus that it's not it used to be just the home page dude the monetization of like twitter with all the the payouts and everything which apparently like they don't pay out much at all anymore even to really really big accounts but they will basically like these former accounts where it'd be like, I'm like engineering world or something.

And like before all the money came into it, it was just a guy who was posting like, check out how these gears work in a steam engine from, you know, 1880 or some shit. And it's like, Oh, that's really cool.

from you know 1880 or some shit it's like oh that's really cool now those accounts like will bait with like posting incorrect information or like trick question math problems and be like god only 10 of people are smart enough to figure this out and then the dumbest people on earth in the replies are like not me the answer is four. And then a person will respond like, nice, nice try. You didn't actually didn't include the division part. And they're both wrong because there's no answer because it's meant to have no answer because it's trying to drive engagement. And it's like this is called world of engineering. And you have people arguing over a fake math problem. And then you go to their account and it's like, oh, it's been weeks since they've done anything but bait at all so in that way like twitter has been wrecked with some content because there's so

much bait like what's the old rule of the internet like if you want the answer to something don't ask the question explain it wrong and someone will come along and correct you i was talking about politics like three weeks ago or something and And they decided that this management course I had where you get the behavior, you incentivize. This is like circling back to that. Again, Twitter is absolutely incentivizing these people to do bullshit bait

tweets. And that's what they'll get paid for. YouTube incentivizes people to make 15 minute long cooking videos. So they do. You just have to change the incentives and then you'll change the behavior. Completely agree. But they want as many eyeballs on every post. And so they're not going to change that. I wouldn't think they want those advertising dollars. Richard, if you were in charge of X, how would you make it better? How would you make it more profitable? I think that's his biggest issue.

Yeah. Man, it's funny. Man, you are lockstep with me today. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You're mind-melding, huh? Y'all going to be – Are you riding motorcycles anytime soon, Richard? I've been telling people like the three areas of focus for me, at least in the last few years, is first and foremost, incentives, inefficiencies and optimization.

That's the three things that I focus on to tackle at a high level and get as granular as I can. And social has been that really big kind of existential crisis for me. that really big kind of existential crisis for me. Um, and like, again, the, the manipulation of human neurochemistry to increase watch time on platform. Um, I had hopes for X. I still do. Um, just because the discussion there's, there's tweaks around certain things. Um, there's tweaks around certain things. If you're paying for a product, hopefully advertising isn't the mechanism or the incentive that's driving the ecosystem. Value is a subjective thing. So let the users define what that value is and let their interactions or their muting, their blocking have higher weights than certain people who rage bait and stuff like that. I mean, if you look in the comments on Twitter, you genuinely ask a serious question or you say something funny and you want your followers

to engage with it, then there's 20 fucking random things that have nothing to do with it in the replies. And it's really frustrating. It confuses the user experience and really makes me less sticky with it. So I think that people need to throw away the traditional advertising approach and thinking about, again, watch time on platform and advertising and think

about what is the value to users. Can I tell you about something I've been working on? Yeah. Okay. So this is legit. This is a problem I've been trying to attack for the last few years and really trying to think about it from a high level. And if you get too high up, you just have to start building stuff to experiment. So one of the first things I'm building is actually for the Warrior Dog Foundation. And so when military working dogs were retired, they used to be euthanized because they were classified as equipment. And so Robbie's law, it was too big of a liability for the government to adopt them out or let them out like a machine gun or something like that. They treated them like equipment. And then in 2000, the Clinton

administration enacted Robbie's Law, which kept them from being euthanized, but allowed them to be adopted out to government organizations like local PD, sheriff's departments, NGOs, stuff like that. Hang on a minute. I don't want some PTSD ridden Iraqi dog policing my small town. Hang on a goddamn minute. We'll take care of the vets, but maybe not all of them. Vets, not pets. It's funny you bring that up because early days of YouTube, I actually worked with Blumenthal's office on my channel to promote the K-9 Members of the Armed Forces Act.

Because essentially what we were doing, we were pushing for treating military working dogs as servicemen and women because they already rank them higher than their handlers. And so giving them veteran benefits after they're retired so that they could live out, you know, their, their golden years or whatever. Um, and here we are today, they're able to be adopted out by certain people who qualify, they go through Lackland. Um, but some, like you say, suffer from PTSD and some of them are just top at the top, you know, they're the highest drive dogs out there and they're not really pets as, uh, Kyle can attest to. They're very top you know they're the highest drive dogs out there and they're not really pets as uh kyle can attest to they're very you know he bit me right yeah he died uh last year uh what was his name again dac dac dac yeah um yeah and so so i'm trying to attack this problem. And it's like, what is the value here to the end user and to the brand or the creator, which is the Warrior Dog Foundation? How do I build a more meaningful relationship between them and cut out all these middlemen that I can to at least increase the value exchange here. And so I've built a complete

tech stack from the ground up. And I don't know what the second or downstream effects of this are going to be, what people are going to build on top of it. But in the collars of the dogs, I put QR codes, NFC and RFID. And then I put like 60 cameras all throughout the facility inside the kennels where they sleep, where they eat, where they get bathed, where they play, all these different things. And then readers. So as the dogs go throughout their day with the handlers and stuff like that, it triggers events and it curates a media feed for them. So you can sponsor one dog, you can sponsor three dogs or all the dogs. And so it's meant to build a more meaningful relationship between the organization and the end user without the organization having to hire a bunch of social

media people and scale that in a way that helps, you know, uh, reduced overhead in some way, shape or form. Also not throwing mud at St. Jude or anything like that, but you know, you might get a mailer, uh, at Christmas or a blanket or something like that. But you might get a mailer at Christmas or a blanket or something like that. That's not really an efficient way of marketing and providing value, I think. Just here's my money. Thanks for the blanket or whatever. So for the dogs, I'm like, now you get a voyeuristic intimate relationship with the thing you're actually supporting. And then that helps the organization reduce the churn and increase the lifetime value of that customer too. And so this whole tech stack,

I'm like, I'm going to just build it and then give it away for people to build on top of, but I got to build these use cases. So this is the first one. Then the second one, and maybe third, I was thinking coffee company. So you'll quite literally see your coffee growing on the plant, being harvested, being washed, roasted, shipped, not stock footage, your actual coffee using the QRs and timestamps and the footage. But then this is where it gets crazy. Everything I like to do, I like to escalate to the next level. So it at least gets on people's radar in a way that really makes people have difficult conversations. So maybe somebody like Vital Farms, there's a lot of, like one of my neighbors is a CEO of Vital Farms, a founder,

putting RFIDs on the chicken's legs. So you see at the regenerative agriculture farms that they have, the chickens roaming around in their nesting boxes, extreme slaughter. Eating one another. It's funny you say that. That's the next one. So the Kansas City Cattle Company, food waste is a massive problem in the US. And so my goal with this is to, if somebody is thinking about throwing half of their steak away, give them pause knowing that they'll be able to see the calving process through the lights going out on their steak and the butchering process of it, the entire supply chain. We're going to have to get a guy who's camera ready to put the rod in their head though, right? We can't just have Big Jim there. He laughs every time. He loves to go down.

You don't even have to have a cameraman. That's what I'm saying. All the cameras are fixed. Hear me out. Maybe I pay a small fee and I get to, with my mouse, control the rod gun myself. I am. So with the Warrior Dog Foundation, I am going to do... It's hard because i am so with the warrior dog with the warrior dog foundation i am gonna do it's hard because i i just kind of got back into like the hardware hacking side of things so like i'm i'm trying to build a treat uh dispenser like a burbo or something that people can donate and dispense treats maybe we figure something out with the rod have you thought about like the

always keep skinny calves in that room have you thought about the application maybe at like a homeless shelter for this like i would donate to the homeless if i could have food and i'd like to see what yes no just so i can see what they're doing like this is roscoe he's an 82 year old kyle i know you're similar to me and that you would never in a million years donate to a homeless person ever. But if you can see kind of what he's up to late at night near the train tracks, you can follow around Roscoe. You can see what Roscoe's up to. Roscoe had a little run-in with

the king of the tracks or whatever happens at night. Big Jim? Big Jim. These are things we don't know. I don't even know how to make it up. This guy dropped 20 bucks on mushrooms? When he's not putting the cows down with a rod he's out there on the track messing with the it's like twitch but like i get to donate to give him his truck of choice keep him keep him active zach says only fangirls and that's like that legit like that's why i'm doing this open

is like if people want to fork or uh build on top of it have have at it. Because I think that I'm even building a generative art application without rails. So if you can come up with a way to specifically from a simple, affordable-ish bot that a thousand dollars or less that I can then as a user in my home control and manipulate an arm that's in the on camera because then you could make it weird right you could have i know there are guys who are like feeders they like to feed fat chicks and make them fatter and fatter imagine if with your mouse you could scoop up some ice cream and put it in her mouth for like a you know a couple bucks couple couple couple reality show do that with a paintball gun where you can shoot people with a paintball gun yeah no oh there was

some kind of it oh it was for a video game i remember what you're talking about they did a um maybe something different but around the time we were making videos maybe rage or some video game did a promo where like users could click and shoot a real machine gun at like a car in the desert or something i remember something like that i see happening that's i have no memory that's actually not a bad idea either if you control a gun from i might have some we'll give you control of this reaper that's the future that's oh that would be the best because i feel like we don't have our i'm sure the guys controlling the drones are really good at it. But, dude, you've seen Twitch.

There are some gamers out there. Have you seen the last Starfighter, the movie? Of course I have. It's exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah. For people who haven't, there was a movie in the 1980s. And this is back when video games were like consoles you stood in front of at like restaurants and arcades. It turned out this one game in particular wasn't just a random game.

It was put there by aliens to select the best pilot on Earth. The Galaxy. The Galaxy. The Galaxy. Yeah. These machines are on planets everywhere. These machines are all over the universe. Galaxy, I don't know. And they're getting over the universe. Galaxy, I don't know.

And they're getting people from all these different, I don't know, races, species. I get that mixed up a little bit. Like humans and non-humans and whatever. And this one guy, a teenager from like Missouri or something, was just really good at this video game. So the aliens came down, trained him up, put him in a spaceship.

And I forget something. They all got wiped out is except him so he became the last they put him in like the super duper prototype like we've got we got one of these bitches and you don't even know it's like it's the f-22 raptor of space and everybody else is in third gen migs it's a bad day for the enemy team because he's got like a rotating cockpit where like the it you know the the the sort of structure the underbelly but the whole cockpit like rotates so that he can like turn around and shoot behind him and like he's got a co-pilot who's like a weird like doo-doo

faced alien guy i never saw is it is it virtual that he's playing and he's playing a game so it starts off and he's at a console in a trailer park. And he's like, new high score. They come down and kidnap him and they put him in a real spacecraft. But then shit goes wrong. Enemy takes out the whole star base. And now it's just him and his co-pilot. And they got to take on the whole evil galactic empire. Wait, is that South Park episode with Kenny playing the video game? I had no idea that was like referencing a movie.

There's Ender's Game as well ender's game is is really cool um i read the book and then i watched the movie uh i like that concept is like i don't know it's a twilight zone episode it probably could have been that i instead of a whole movie i like um the reality do you guys remember Beyond? He was a very good Call of Duty player, and the 3 was a Yeah, actually, sure, yeah, yeah. Anyway, early on, it was like Hutch, Blame Truth, and Beyond was like one of them. He was very, very good at video games.

Anyway, he left and started flying drones for the Navy, and I'm like, they don't know what they got with this guy. He's really good. And I think he was. He was know what they got with this guy. He is really good. And I think he was. He was a better drone pilot than his peers. I just wish that Summit would be like, all right, guys, today's stream is sponsored by the U.S. Air Force.

We're going to be taking control of this Reaper drone. I'm told we're at, what's the latitude launch to? Yeah, yeah, right above Pakistan right now. They have no idea we're here. Well, if they're watching the stream, they didn't know stream snipe in Pakistan. We actually disabled the stream in their country. So stream snipe in Pakistan. We actually disabled the stream in their country, so fuck you, Pakistan.

Here we go. I'm going to ask everyone to refrain from using text to speech for the next few minutes. This is top secret. Alright, don't know who's in the chat if you want me to take out the nuclear centrifuge. Some guy's just leaving like R, R, R, R, r r r r just like where they say they take out the nuclear centrifuge poggers in the chat poggers in the chat

on uh i didn't know that that tiny little like hat looking key is called a circumflex i guess and so the the no it's not on my six i don't know it's just a little top like a rice farmer hat little yeah on the eight for me okay no i guess it is on the eight so they the text-to-speech person says that that is a circumflex and so during all of fish tank like there would be like five minute long messages with nothing but that because it's like three syllables you can get from one tiny thing just circumflex circumflex circumflex and they do it in black guy voice which is funny like circumflex circumflex circumflex and just do that over and over made me laugh the folks is circumflex it's crazy i always wanted navigation with a like sam jackson navigation i think would make a long drive or even if you

were like a delivery driver ups guy i'd love to hit turn left motherfucker god damn it's traffic he's always like late on telling you turn left in 15 feet sam l jackson you could get like a lot of different people on ways when they would do those things you just don't update your app yeah I didn't even do that. Do you have to pay to get Arnold on Waze? They would run a promotional thing when a movie would be going on. The new thing or whatever and you just download that voice as a...

I would like that, honestly. I've got a cold British lady. Turn left at the next intersection. You can use Australian guy. I use Australian guy. I use Australian guy. I drive an F-150, and it just seems like that's what his voice should be. Yeah, and it's more jovial than like a...

Most of your parts are made here, mate. Maybe. Turn right here, if you wish. Whatever. Life's an adventure, you know? We can keep going straight if you prefer. I like options there Where it's like a cold

Kind of shrewd British bitch No thank you Yeah Back to McDonald's again Like a 99.1.1 vibe I don't want that Do you remember that show

99.1.1 Yes There were like Three different shows That came out When I was too young To know that like All reality TV

Was scripted And so I'd be watching And be like Damn these kids Are getting away with murder. I wish I could behave this way. No. There were three of those shows.

There was Nanny 911. World Street. Super Nanny. Super Nanny. And I think there was another one. There was the funny South Park episode where they tried those, and he would spit in their mouth,

like the British. She's like, you're going to do what I say and he goes and spits in her open mouth these are Milan the dog whisperer and he's going and pinching Eric every time Eric does the wrong thing

and he's like god damn it it totally works he became the model child don't argue with it don't debate it dominate it It totally works. Don't argue with it. Don't debate it. Dominate it. Richard, back on dogs. You said dogs are ranked higher than their handlers in the army?

Yes, because all branches of service. That way, in the event the dog abuses it, it's abusing his rank. It's a superior op yeah and if the dog bites the uh the handler it's we just sweep it under the rugs that didn't happen wait a minute oh so if the dog bites someone they tend to be very high they just rank the

dog at the level they're allowed to bite what am i hearing no no no So say... Like colonels and below? Yeah. One of the military's following this shit. The dog is one rank above the handler. So in the event that the handler neglects it, then that's... You think anybody ever gets called out

for not saluting a dog? Probably. Like, ho, ho, ho. The sergeant entered the barracks, soldier. Sorry, Sergeant Waffles. Do not salute your sergeant. He works for a living. You will show the proper respect to Major Pop-Tart when he enters the tent.

To be honest, I don't know of any stories of people not loving the dogs in their units. don't know of any stories of people like not loving the dogs in their their units like like i love going on and on about the dog that uh they sent after that bag daddy guy oh he's beautiful dogs it's beautiful dogs that's one of my favorite clips do we have the best dogs do you think well he was talking about how they oh dude i think people need to know he was screaming and crying and begging it's like jesus did they let the dogs eat him alive? The procurement process for the dogs is interesting because there's probably, there is a very finite, let's say, amount of reputable organizations that breed them and and and so the american or the dod procures so many of them that it's really hard for civilians and a lot of ways to get a good dog without paying a shit ton of money like a lot of money just because all of those really good dogs they're spoken for and then like the females

another hard thing or at least i'm told is like no none of the breeders want to come off of any really good females because they want to breed them and so you know there's there's really interesting challenges my concern is that you start getting these like essential puppy meals of malinois in the u.s people wanting to buy them just because they want to look cool or whatever and it's like dude that's uh i don't know about i would imagine military dogs are very very well trained um but some of the police dogs i see i watch a ton of police videos on this police activity channel on youtube i see a lot of dogs that are that are not

good at their jobs just like they think we're we're playing right now and they're supposed to be attacking somebody and they're just like lollygagging around on the field she's like come on cobra get him malinois oh thank you zach that's is that what dax look like roughly yeah similar yeah kiwi do you have a Malinois? Yeah. Is it Belgian Malinois? Yeah, Belgian Mal. My pit bull's on the couch.

I thought my Mal was in here. Both of my co-hosts would like to kill it. So if you need that service. I mean, I'm sure he's got a good pit bull. He is. Everyone who's ever watched him was like, Hey, if you ever decide to get rid of him, everyone who's ever watched him was like hey if you ever decide to get rid of them just let me know it's like dude fuck you they're like kids i'd never

get rid of a dog richard has much more dangerous things than pit bulls i'm okay with him owning one it's just richard is so likable i'm okay with it i really don't like those kinds of dogs richards and i'm like we need a compilation of this juxtaposed against what we say when Richard isn't here. Oh, next week it's right back to it. I'll be like, those fucking... Line them up against the wall.

They're bullying all the other dogs. I think that both of them are such loyal dogs that the wrong people bring out the worst in them. I can see how they would be really bad dogs for other people um but i mean they are super loyal like the captain america serum where they just like magnify whatever they their handler has if a dog has traps you have to be has to be trained well like like they're like defined triceps ripped ripped

dogs if you just gotta break your knuckles trying to knock out a pitbull i just gotta i i nearly did trying to knock out my fucking knuckleheads the other day when they were fighting i was punching them in the head what do you have i got i've got a bernie doodle it's half bernie's mountain dog half poodle uh he's like 75 80 pounds he's a. Uh, he's like 75, 80 pounds. He's a big goofy boy. He's a year old. Uh, I've got like a shepherd mix. She's four. Um, she's sort of the speckled thing. Um, I've got a 10 year old Malamute that I got from the shelter that they were going to kill. Uh, and, and his name's Rocky. He lives on my couch now and he gets to be outside in the cold as much as he wants. And I just bought a four, just the tiniest one pound Pomeranian the other day. And

what I was going to say is like, it's not that pit bulls are inherently mean. I don't know that breeds clearly have like genetic drive to do certain things. When you see a pointer point when it's six weeks old you're like okay it's just in you to do that but that pomeranian tries to bite my face every time i hold it like it is it wants to rip my lips off but it can't because it weighs two fucking pounds what are they ratting dogs what are they pomeranian huh i would think it's just for aristocracy like it's some fancy dog for, like... But maybe they were ratting dogs. I don't know.

I would... Everything used to do something and have a job, but some of those breeds are just for sitting in laps. Ratting? Like a cat? Yeah. Yeah. Like terriers. Like, a lot of terriers are for clearing fields of infestation.

I've never heard that term. Okay. Yeah, there's great videos of ratting. Is it minks that they use it's something they use like a weird little critter they i think they use minks or something um or um and and dogs and they clear these fields of rats and it's just rat screams everywhere because the dogs and the i can't remember what the little critter they send in after jack russell like rock stars at it yeah yeah it's their job rats that's the end uh dachshunds at one point dachshund is german for uh badger hound so they're

all those weenie dogs are shaped like that to go down into a badger's hole and to give him such a hard time that he turns around it comes out the other side to you man and all that horrible back problems little feet just to go underground and fight a badger i mean you've really been a little cruel to dogs we should keep thinking what were pugs good for honestly pugs are like uh we show that to the other dogs we're like see it's not so bad is it not so bad being a terrier a pit bull now get into that hut and find the bad guys yeah look at your look at your compatriot here he needs a little a c-pat mask they usually love whatever they do like like pugs aside but I don't know. Bird dogs, when you're dove hunting with a Labrador,

he's just like, this is so much fun, boss. Do I get to bring it? Kill another one for me, please. Can I bite that guy's birds a little? I won't bite them. I'll just carry them. He just wants to hold that bird in it, and they know not to chew it up.

Labradors know not to damage the bird. They'll hold it really gently. I don't know. There's something. How does that work? How does that genetic sort of information almost work? You just breathe the behaviors in. Do we have anything like that besides being afraid of fucking spiders?

We suck on nipples. That's a good point. Fears are definitely a genetic trait, right? Like something downstream snakes snakes phobias phobia i mean i'm heights i'm very afraid of heights i'm very afraid of uh i didn't think i was afraid of snakes until i saw a real one um but i'm afraid of snakes and then i'm afraid of a real snake a rattlesnake like a big um diamondback rattlesnake in texas that one that i was going to handle that time um and just like man you don't look like the snakes we have back uh back east

they've got little round happy eyes and they go you're looking at me like do it motherfucker do it do it right you got copperheads or cotton mouse we just yeah we got those we exterminated those off our property to such an extent that you just i never saw one after a while like they were all gone we killed them all um but but yeah i'm afraid of rattlesnakes and i'm and i'm really afraid of spiders and i'm definitely afraid of i don't know if it's millipedes or centipedes i get them a bit confused but one crawled in my bed once when i was like 11 or 12 and bit me in the ribs and uh and i'm i'll always be afraid of them now did it did it hurt a lot yeah like what was the impact of it was like a bee sting um it just hurt and what and like woke me up and so i jumped up and freaked out lights on and there it is like with all of its thousands of little legs continue

to hurt like a bee sting does i don't think so so. Although I was like real fired up about it. There happened to be a hammer because I'd been hanging something and I pounded him into the carpet with a hammer. But I think my parents came in my room because I screamed and then the lights are on and I'm pounding the floor with a claw hammer. Did you get it? Oh, yeah. All right. Justice is served. It probably wouldn't have scared you that bad if you

weren't in such a place of like peace and tranquility sleeping when i uh when i lived in that lake house we had problems with bugs because the doors didn't seal well and so like there's around by the lake even there's always extra crittery things and so there would be spiders in the house and i was in bed with no shirt on sort of sitting halfway up watching tv and i looked and there's just a big fucking spider crawling across my chest and i jumped up flicked it off and i lost it oh no and so now i have to i'm slowly taking my entire bedroom apart making sure that the spider isn't on it in it and then putting that in the safe zone over there there's like a green zone on the

other side of the bedroom where I'm putting things that don't have spiders in them for fucking sure, because I made sure. And then after a while, there's very little left on the red zone side of the room, but I've got my bug spray and I'm digging around like, well, I guess I'm going to go to a hotel.

Okay, well, that's psychotic. You don't know the types of spiders, though? The the difference it was a wolf spider it was like a wolf spider like it wouldn't hurt me but i still don't want him living in my bed like a tarantula wouldn't hurt me either he can't live in my bed either yeah a wolf spider will bite you by the way how bad i am i was looking for my dog i thought he he's like he's literally right there though dude we got scorpions tarantulas like of course rattlesnakes here and everything but fortunately i have king snakes and uh hog nose snakes here now of course coral snakes where are you like uh texas it's like central texas um and so

they pretty much keep the rattlesnakes in check and off the property and so i don't like snakes but i tolerate these guys like and it's really weird because like coach whips kind of have a personality whenever i'm i'm you know drilling the field or brush hogging or anything like that like i'll look up and they'll be like sticking their head up watching me and following me seeing what's going on and all this other stuff it's really cool oh wait what kind of snake is that a coach whip and if you've ever seen a hog nose those are really cool snakes too they like they like i don't know compress flat lay flat and like make themselves look bigger and puff

out but they're really cool they're not like aggressive or anything like that but and they eat the other snakes have you ever had any exotic pets you seem like the kite that would have a fucking cobra in a cage somewhere oh man that shit like again i'm not i don't like snakes like i i just know the value of them in the ecosystem here, right? Because we don't have rats. Scorpions I could do without. The tarantulas. Dude, have you ever seen a tarantula hawk?

Yes. I saw a coyote. Yes. I saw one. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. They paralyze the tarantula and then drag it to their nest.

Yeah, they do that a lot. Wasps might be the worst thing on our planet if you think about how they live their lives and what they're about. They're completely carnivorous. Many of the species do what Richard just described where they paralyze a specific species often and drag it back to their nest,

lay their eggs in it, and then their larvae eat it alive from the inside out usually and then burst from within, and that's a big part of their life stage. And it's not like, oh, it was either lay you in a tarantula or in an orange. No, it was never going to be an orange. It was always going to be a poor tarantula. We call them dirt daubers.

I don't know what they're really called, but they're these wasps that take mud and make these sort of um lines that they make their little colonies in and if you've ever knocked one off your building or if you're the eve of your house or whatever you'll see they're full of spiders who have been interred semi alive to be devoured they're full of little spiders yes and any not just spiders but sometimes there'll be other little like flies like anything the wasp could capture and and like enter in there for its larva to eat it's terrifying it's like something out of the worst science fiction it's 40k we go in the garden and we'd see all the caterpillars where the wasp had laid the eggs and the caterpillars and like

all the scars on their backs and then like the babies growing inside before it's just there you go yeah inside there is a hellscape you can't imagine if you're a spider it's a dark place oh Ender's Game is a fun concept for those who don't know

like the at the end these children are the ones to control the sort of alien defense network and they think they're playing a game and it's a very structured militarized

game that they're playing but they don't realize they think it's a simulation that they're like trying to figure out how to fight the enemies in the future, but they're fighting the war right now. So when they're making strategic choices, like take having a cruiser full of humans, just crash into the enemy because it gives them a quarter second more time to, to charge up the weapon on a different ship. And it's like, that was 100,000 people. But the kid doesn't know that he just sacrificed 100,000 humans. He's trying to win the game. It's a fun movie, and it's a good book.

But like I said, I felt like it could be a good 30-minute Twilight Zone episode. I knew what was going on right away, if I'm being honest. You mentioning the tarantula hawk. Have you guys ever seen Coyote Peterson's videos? The nature guy who's like unbelievably upbeat and he lets himself get stung and bitten by the most horrid things. He's been doing it for so many years. And there was a recent one that came out that had to be removed from YouTube

because I think it was too gory. He it's like, it's set up like a sketch. He's like, all right, I'm going'm gonna let the snapping turtle a real snapping turtle like bite onto the meaty part of his hand and the plan to make sure that it didn't bite all the way through his hand was to put a stick here and so it can't bite through the stick now you might imagine a stick like a big old beefy dowel hardwood like a baton it was it was the kind of thing that like if it was the structural post for a gingerbread house it wouldn't hold up it was the most it's the most it's the most

laughable stick you've ever seen and it's like taped to his wrist so it's just kind of splayed out here and he's like the stick will protect me and so he puts his hand in front of this snapping turtle and it bites damn near clean through his hand and immediately he's like beforehand he's like and the way this if this goes wrong you just dump water on a snapping turtle's head that convinces it that it's now underwater and it will release and so he immediately is bit and is if you've seen this guy he doesn't freak out like ever he can be stung by the most painful bugs and he's like oh that's smart gosh darn and like he it bites clean through his hand and he's like freaking out the camera is moving up and down because the guy's like jostling it trying to get close and the cameraman is panicking so much because he's bleeding so much

that he's dumping the cold water on coyote peterson's hand instead of on the turtle's head and so he wastes all the water on this guy's hand and he's got like like a chunk of meat that is like if the thing pulls is going to be gone from his hand it was up on youtube for like 20 minutes and they removed a man is he i don't know where he is he travels the world he travels abroad to get no no he's just a dude in a cowboy hat i like him he makes good i'm watching a video of his from eight years ago where he has the snapping turtle, but he does safe things. He has a big chunk of meat. He has a cast to protect his hand at one point, but the turtle that he's showing,

if this is the kind of turtle that he, he actually let bite him. That's crazy. Cause it's, it's the biggest, meanest turtle you've ever seen. That's an alligator snapping turtle. Yeah.

Dinosaurs. We have those here. I think, um, we call them loggerhead turtles again when you're in the south everything has a made-up name but they would be fucking huge we'd pull them out of the cat we'd get them out of our cat catfish pond because you know they eat the babies i'm sure man snapping turtles are the most ornery just shitty looking animal they look mad they don't look at like have you seen a box turtle box turtles just popping around having a time he's got friendly eyes

which is weird for a reptile to have he has a grin he's yeah a little there's a little little toothless grin a little you don't remember franklin from pbs little franklin grin that I remember, hey, Franklin. Jeez. This, though, demonic. Yeah, I've never seen one that big, but I've seen them so big that it's, you're standing like that when you hold it. It's just like this thing is 30 or 40 pounds. That's a huge fucking turtle. How long do they live?

I bet a long time. Yeah, I wonder if it's comparable to those sea turtles or whatever. Or those Galapagos turtles that live for hundreds of years, seemingly. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty cool. They get to live for hundreds of years.

But it's like hundreds of years of what? Grass and laying around? Like being on the bottom of a pond, just sort of. Are they stupid? I went to an aquarium recently and they had a sea turtle of some sort and i was like hey are the turtles smarter than the fish you know like can you get any vibe and she's like a turtle brain is about the size of the end of your pinky and they're no smarter than the other like fish yeah sharks whatever swimming around

reptiles are notoriously retarded like they don't they don't have a forebrain or a midbrain i don't think they're like all impulse and so like when when someone's like my little my little pet crocodile booby he loves me it's like no it doesn't it quite literally doesn't have the capacity for the emotion you are willing it to express but they have something they have something though like look i want to be with you i want to agree with you because i like to be that that cynical guy that's like no that's a monster it will never love you check the monster box and move forward i see tiktoks and youtube videos and it's like this is arnold india and and his alligator terry he's known terry since terry hatched from the egg. They live

here in Florida and they're in a pond playing together and Terry's being like, clearly it's not one of those playing together where a handler knows how to handle an animal. This guy's just letting the thing sneak up behind him and nuzzle up to him and shit. It looked

like he had a tame gator. I've also seen those lizards and i don't there's a bunch of different kinds of lizards i don't fucking care but i've seen the ones that they'll like scritch on the lizard and he'll respond like a cat or something sort of mean and like oh yeah right there have you seen dogs with big cats big cats being like cougars and tigers oh i've seen yeah they get along well yeah. You're smart though. So I just know a tiny bit about it, but apparently big cats are really skittish and bad

around people and I don't know how to, like fear aggression is one of the common attributes in them. So what they do is they pair it with a dog who is the opposite and it becomes a good role model. And then as the cougar, for example, grows up it just has a little bit of

dog influence in its personality, which is great for a zoo. If you remember the Tiger King, those animals had little dachshunds or something running around with them, like chasing the lion and licking it in the lion's mouth and chomping

on its ears. This big lion is just like, letting this little dog, these are yellow labs, but I can imagine that work. Yeah. Have you seen the videos of, uh, there's this guy and actually,

actually I think it's happened multiple times. This one dude raised a hippo from birth. What a terrible idea. Yeah. A hippo, which is smarter than a reptile. And it's like he raised this hippo for like 18 years and then one day they were going to do what they do which is fool around in the the swimming hole and the hippo

like bit him in half and drowned him at the same time like just just murdered him and it's like what did you think was going to happen moron i didn't know where hippos were on the how scared you should be hierarchy until like 10 15 years ago it was steve irwin it was uh the crocodile hunter this guy more people than just about anything like snuggles crocodiles and alligators and whatever he doesn't think twice of swimming underneath them and touching their bellies he was a football field away from a hippo and he's like this does not feel safe i am concerned i don't know how to handle hippos it's because they have like an internal map in there they're so fiercely territorial that even

if you're that far away they're like that guy he's on my area this is my area the only way Have you seen the one chase a boat? Yes. Full throttle in the wake of the hippo. He's like, how is he going? Hippos are incredibly fast in the water. They're basically aquatic animals. There's a scene in the movie Congo where the hippos attack. I thought it was science fiction when I was a kid because the rest of the movie

is. I think it's the Crichton novel. There's lasers and attack gorillas and blue diamonds and shit in that movie, but the hippo shit was legit. It topples the boat and eats McKimbe. That's a problem. We needed him. He knew the way. They just tear you to pieces and then leave you.

Yeah, I have seen them also feeding them whole melons, and I'd love to feed a hippo a melon. I'd take the risk. Okay, you're right about that but other than that i would like to stay far away have you seen the clip of the one doing like an indian zoo slapping a hippo on the head to get it back in a cage have you seen that this hippo was like trying to escape an enclosure that had a barrier that should never have been past muster

for a hippo enclosure and it's like both feet out like the way a dog is on a like those little like kitchen gates like a smaller mid-sized dog it's like that trying to go over and there's like this i think it's in like fucking india and this guard is like lackadaisically like smacking it on its like hairy nose and eventually the thing gets like kind of spooked enough that it's like all right you win this round and it goes back in the water which everyone was like that's so well trained that's crazy and i was just thinking like they're shocking the shit out of that thing every night or something in order for it to be that afraid of something like that's like you being afraid of your pomeranian that might not hold up for it i am afraid of that pomeranian it hurts ever put peanut butter on a dog's nose and then

you get like it's a little bit torturous but dog's nose and then you get like... It's a little bit torturous, but it's kind of funny and they lick the thing. I want to put a watermelon or a pumpkin on a rhinoceros' spike. Just fucking plunk that thing on there and watch him try to get the pumpkin off.

See what you do? You take your rhino, you put the pumpkin on his snoop, and then you put him on a treadmill that powers some sort of electrical generator. It's genius. And he just walks and walks. He never gets to Mellon. People are debating if this is the best use of the final three rhinos. They used to have those in the ground.

It's a special motion. These rhinos power enough electricity every day to almost light this bulb. We figure after the millions we've given them, it's time they return the favor to us. And the bulb turns a little brownish yellow for a second.

No, still not enough. Perhaps a fourth rhino would do it if only there were four. If only three no i don't care about endangered species that are like that i think we should say like as much now that's fucking communist taylor if you were capitalist if you lived in a meritocracy you'd let these things go extinct yes okay i'm fine with like bugs going away like which ones we need bees so shitty the shitty bugs like bees are good and And I'm fine with a terrible wasp.

A wasp. But I think the white rhino is gone now, right? Isn't that the big one? The big rhino? And the black rhinos are almost gone? I mean, there were bigger ones before that one. We act like we're supposed to keep the exact number of animals that were here

when we started counting fucking animals, I guess. I just mean if we can keep them. How is that the bar? Like the cool animals. Rhinos are awesome. What's awesome about them? They look they're blind. They're stupid. You ever see an elephant bully a rhino? I saw an elephant pick up a stick and throw it

at a rhino. Yeah, I have. Those are cool videos too. We should have elephants. Save the elephants. Fuck the rhinos. They're too expensive. And fuck those goddamn Chinese communist bears. I've had enough American Western dollars go to those commie bears. Draw a fucking line.

Pick an American species and bring them back from the brink. People always worry about the animals going extinct, right? Oh, this thing drops off. That thing's gone. We'll never get it back. They never talk about the new animals being created. humans alone have added like 37 genders in my lifetime so far yeah yeah that that is true i don't think we can invent new animal species though what i'm excited

about and there's you never know when you hear about something, it's either something that's very ambitious, or maybe even overly ambitious and slightly science fiction, if it's a scam, or if it's a real dreamer who's got an idea. And there's that one program that's been taking money for a while to bring back the mammoth. So they want to, like, fertilize an egg or create the mammoth. They want to fertilize an egg or create a mammoth with some

genetic material they have and put it in an African elephant womb and have the elephant give birth to a woolly mammoth, essentially. I'm fine with that. That's awesome. That would be so cool. It's short-sighted thinking. It's only one

mammoth. We we're gonna make more the idea the idea once you have one we have so much funding we can make a fucking it's in the bible kyle it'd be good so what they were they were saying that we were gonna do is the dna of the woolly mammoth and then and then have this hybrid which is like 50-50 and then they would take the hybrid's DNA and then they would do it with the woolly mammoth's DNA and incrementally make a more

woolly mammoth. So we'd get like a faux mammoth over time. It wouldn't be 100% right on the money but it would be way better than what we got. We're not 100% fucking homo sapien. What if we made the first mammoth and then like it hit adulthood and it killed itself and we were like oh you're like that's why they're gone they all killed them and it was like a species like it braided a rope and every and hung itself

we were talking about genetically driven behaviors. They jump off cliffs. We can't stop them. We've spent so much money making wooly mammoths. And they jump off everything. I'm out over my skis on this fucking mammoth project. Losing money. Didn't they just auction a

stake? Like a wooly mammoth stake or something where you could like they had some that you could buy or something?'s a good idea i remember something about that that sounded like they pulled it from the tundra it was preserved and they were like we're gonna have yeah we got plenty of them woody you don't even know these things died by the droves for some reason we don't know the guy who's like making that steak is like god damn if this wasn't a scam i'd be guilty it's just usda beef wow this is a steak with fucking hair the the idea though like if you could get one mammoth i think there would be enough funding that would flow in to make multiple mammoths and if you had a mammoth park

what if you could get like not jurassic park because that's too too long apparently like dna doesn't last that long but maybe like like uh like like a 10 000 year ago bc type part where you had some of that some of that mega fauna that you could bring back because there was all sorts of crazy shit apparently apparently we used to live inside of armadillo shells. People made our homes in armadillo shells because there was this gigantic armadillo, I think, in North America that we hunted to extinction, mostly because their shells were house-sized.

What else were they doing? They were being gigantic armadillos until we came along. Are armadillos always sick from something or never sick from something? I think some of them carry leprosy, which someone until we came along. Are armadillos always sick from something or never sick from something? I think some of them carry leprosy, which someone should have told me before I chased that one down.

Yeah, you're not supposed to touch them. I guess they're immune to leprosy, which is why they can just carry. I grabbed one by the tail. Tried to pull it out of its hole. He was too strong. It kept going. Really? I only see them dead on the side of the road i'm always afraid to pull too hard you know like what if his tail comes off he sprays me

that was really cool and you guys won't think it's cool at all the first time i saw tumbleweed that was cool like tumbleweed actually rolling across the road and shit like you're right that was that was cool but 20th time you like, they should fucking do something about this shit. Build a wall. Why is there not a tumbleweed wall at the very least? Jesus. We should let them in if they bring

a tumbleweed with them. It should be like that thing they did with wolf ears back in the day. Jesus. It's cool when you travel a bit. You're right there at ground zero. Not literally, but a lot to do going on in Texas. I heard that Taylor State, it's cool when you travel a bit you're right there ground zero um animals not not not literally but a lot to do going on in texas i heard that taylor state the great state of missouri is uh is stepping up they're not going to be left out of this border crisis they're sending some i think state patrol officers and maybe some guard some guard maybe yeah to reinforce the the border down there and

stop the invasion as your thing was your. You've got a very based governor, if I remember correctly. I mean, Missouri's a great state. Yeah, we got a good state. One of the top 50. All the weed, all the guns. I saw some lib on Twitter posting some complaint list

about gun laws, and they're like, you won't believe Missouri's's gun laws did you know anyone can open carry without a license and anyone can uh conceal carry without a license and there's no registering firearms and you can just same day go anywhere and buy a gun and like all the replies were like based like awesome like that's incredible like i wish they had that here i'm stuck in california my money yeah of course like the california comment from the sunglasses selfie avatar like in the car which is the classic heuristic of like the the conservative boomer on social media if you haven't noticed that let's

calm down all right that is what if you see someone with a selfie with sunglasses in a car on in their twitter account you know exactly what that person believes they love sunglasses they're wearing if they're wearing with multi-colors like rainbow oh they have rainbow oakley's on my friend that is uh he's voting he's voting red that dude dude was in Charlottesville. He planned Charlottesville. That guy's got a tiki torch in his profile pic. This here's an authentic tiki torch.

It has Heather Heyer's saliva on it because I poked her a little on the lid there. That's a dark red Republican for sure. Yeah. I remember seeing those pictures with the uh with the tiki torches and there's no way i don't want to bully the the tiki big tiki torch but like there's no way to hold those or even they look so cheap they look so silly and walking around

with them but they they're absurd you look like a fucking goober. Dude, they look strong, organized, well-kempt. I like that they had, okay, they all had good haircuts. They all looked like they just got back from, they all went together to Great Clips, and they were wearing khakis. They were dressed nice. Do they have khakis back then? I know they do that now. Oh, you gotta have your khakis on if you're

part of the movement. I'm sorry, we had Gavin McGinnis on a couple weeks ago. I've still got a little bit of that in me. That was a bit of a proud boy. No, no, no. He didn't like me.

No, that was fun. That was a good episode. You guys, every time Kyler Taylor, he couldn't see us. I guess his tech was different. And every time Kyler Taylor said something he didn't like,

he assumed it was me. Oh, yeah. Is that that liberal? Kyle's like, no, it's the God guy. He wrote something up. And I was like, oh, damn, really? And he's like, who's that? The guy that doesn't know anything?

And it's like, yes, but you're only coincidentally right. Oh, that's a good dog. What a good feller. Yeah. That's Kiwi. Kiwi. Dude, Kiwi. oh that's a good dog what a good feller yeah that's kiwi kiwi that's kiwi dude i love when they bring the when i'm watching police activity and it's a dog episode i know it's gonna be a good episode i love them like sometimes like i said some there was a lady cop with a dog that my pet would have been more effective and he doesn't know attack or he

barely knows sit um it was silly the dog did not know it was there to do any sort of work but then i saw another dog where the guy just was like go get him bonkers and bonkers like leaves bonkers went that way and the cops dealing with the other bad guy like gets him cuffed up thrown in the back seat of the car and he's like i'll be back and like bonkers is down the road and has the bad guy and is holding him and i don't mean just like oh yeah right there he went down the road and around the path and beside a house and he's got the bad guy and they got bad guys screaming get him off me get him off me because bonkers is chewing his ass up that's the thing about those those mouths but i mentioned how labradors have that soft bite and they also have dull teeth like i think they've been bred

to have dull teeth somehow but those malinois teeth are pokey and sharp they go in. Look at that guy. He wouldn't wait. Look at my chompers. Yeah, look at them. Bitch. Don't stick your dick in that. Oh, God. We comparing chompers? Oh, it's chomper time. That pit looks sweet.

Is that the pit? Oh, he's the best. Oh, sweet dogs. I like his collar, too. Jesus. Does it inject testosterone? It's like... No teeth.

No teeth? Where's teeth? Oh, no! You can put your dick in that one. That's awful. Why did you do that, Richard? I feel like I'm on to you. What happened to his chompers? There you go, bud.

I'll give you cookies. I hope you chew mine up a little first. Can you baby bird? I'll tell you, they were going to euthanize him because we found him tell you, uh, he, he was actually, they were going to euthanize them cause we found him in, uh, Bernie,

Texas. And he was a little chupacabra. Like he had no hair. Um, he was, he looked like, I don't know. People call them armadillo,

but, um, hip out of socket. I guess he was hit by a car. And so for a year or longer, it calcified and they couldn't put it back in his socket. Dual cataracts, pretty much blind. He walked into a pool at the ranch and I was like, Oh, fight or flight. This dog's going to try to swim. He's going to save himself. Nope. Just that's it. That's the end of it for me. And,

uh, sank to the bottom of the pool and I dove in phone, wallet, keys, all that good stuff. Pulled him out. This dude took maybe eight surgeries and I was like, screw it. I guess I'm keeping him at this point. Um, dual analsectomy, like, uh, removing the glands, um, uh, FHO on his femur, uh, dual cataracts. Oh, 16 tooth extraction. That's why he looked like a little crackhead. Like all of his teeth were broken or rotted out. Somebody must've just had litter of puppies and just said, screw it. Nobody's going to take these dogs and just let them out. Um, and so, yeah, I was going to try to find a home for him or whatever, but I kind of have a rule six months, they're either gone or they're mine. And, uh,

used to do rehabs like that. I don't know if he still does. Have you ever seen those videos? I haven't actually. So it's funny. I reached out to him. I reached out to him as soon as, because his practice or his former practice, I think his sister's running it now, um, is in Bernie. And I was like, Hey dude, I don't have a dog. Um, but I just found this one and it's needing some serious attention. All the shelters want to put it down and he's just a sweetheart. If there's anything we can do. And so he said, yeah, just bring them down to the clinic or whatever. And I did. And so I worked with a, uh, a rescue and they, you know, rescues are great there. It's just, you get what you pay for and you don't pay for anything. Uh,

and so, uh, you're getting a vet, a veterinarian that's willing to donate their time and their resources. And so you might not be getting the best quality treatment for the animal. So I was like, all right, well, I'm going to take him to Matt's office and, you know, make sure he's taken care of. Well, that's good. He's got a good home now. I've got. Yeah. Yeah.

Oswald. He's a lucky dog. So we have a tradition in my family where we take turns naming the dog. My turn is next. And I have two Great Danes well past their expiration date. I think they're 10 and 12 years old. Oh, shit. Any day now.

Literally. It's like when we went away for that weekend 10 days ago,'m like i don't know if she'll be here when i come home like my one dog in particular you don't have very old ladies get just to be skin and bones uh we cannot get one of my dogs to eat enough she eats every day but she's skinny like whatever anyway so i named the next dog. What would you name a Great Dane? Wow. That's tough.

Here's my leading candidate. We would call it Bones, just as a way. But his full name would be Indiana Bones. That's the best I have so far. I like the pun. I like B pun. Yeah. I like Bones as an everyday name for a dog.

It's good. It's good. Yeah, sometimes personalities have to shine through before you really come up with the name you're going to call them. It's hard to prep without seeing the dog. It's what it looks like at the very least, right? Sometimes you can... I named my dog after Roots, of course.

Toby. If my dog is solid black, I think we're going to go with Bark Vader. Bark Vader. But what are you going to call it? Probably just Vader. Vader. That's a mouthful. Vader!

It works. You got to make sure you can scream it dude my both both two of my dogs ran out the door the other day so a tree fell out of my yard into my neighbor's yard big pine tree and just crushed our fence i've got a good bit of um backyard that my dogs can go in there's a there's like a wooded area at the back of it they can go poop and privacy and then i don't have to deal with poop well when the tree falls through now i have to walk the dogs every couple hours all fucking day long and they escaped and ran through the neighborhood chasing this black guy and and i'm screaming they don't bite they don't bite which nobody wants to hear um you know because because what what they do do is jump on you and like poke you with their two paws like yeah they'll fucking like do that

so he's just like all these two dogs jump on him and i'm dragging them away but they still want to like attack him more he didn't say a word the whole time it was the most awkward scary thing ever because i don't want him to bite and then have like a Woody scenario where I get maybe sued or something like that could happen. I don't want anything like that. Woody had a dog that savaged a neighbor one time. They did. Yeah. I've told the story of the show a couple of times.

But the quick version is we left the door open. I didn't, but I'm the adult, so I did it. And the dog was outside while we were gone the neighbor was like corralling it like with her arms to like i don't know guide the dog to somewhere she wanted it to be it turns out in north carolina that makes the human at fault like even if the dog bitter which it did. In North Carolina law, I guess if you bend over and try to... Dogs have castle doctrine too. It would seem that way.

When the dog bit her, the dog bit her in the forearm and tore a little bit. It was a good cut. I saw a picture of it. It's not to be minimized. We were worried yeah about for woody yeah to move the story to the end a litigation standpoint yeah yeah no i'm well

insured like i've got a homeowner's insurance and then i have umbrella insurance on top of that like i didn't i wasn't worried but um civil court for pain i think i'm covered i hope I'm covered. I hope I'm covered. So anyway, moving the story to the end, when she told the cops and the animal control, she told the story that I just told. When she talked to my insurance company after having hired an attorney, she said she was getting the mail and the dog came out of nowhere and bit her on the forearm. But they looked up the police report and the animal control report and found that her story had changed.

And that's when everything just kind of, I got off. Bark, bark, bark. That's not bad. My girlfriend's dog, rest in peace. He, you know, he was kind of intimidating. Um, you know, 90 pound, a hundred pound ish, like Rottweiler, um, Aussie mix, um, beautiful dog. And, uh, I had a contractor come out to my property and he claimed that the dog bit him.

So fortunately the statute of limitations is up now. So I'm going to talk about it. I don't care. Uh, like you, like you say, uh, umbrella insurance and, uh, homeowners insurance and everything. But the guy, like he was so shady, like he clearly like stuck a screwdriver in his leg and said that the dog bit him and there was only one puncture. Um, yeah. And I was like, I did, I got cameras everywhere. When, where did this happen? And then there was only one puncture um yeah and i was like i did i got cameras everywhere when where did this happen and then it was only a few weeks later that he said that and then he's like i had to go to the doctor and this is where flag started going off he's like um they had to give me uh an antibiotic shot and i you know just want to be reimbursed for

that and everything i was like well a hundred dollars no here's the thing whenever you you you run into a situation like that typically you get a general oral course that gets in your bloodstream they don't give you a shot like locally in the the thing it's like oh okay that's weird i was like i'm not talking to this guy like i'll let my girlfriend do it um and then you know a few weeks later he's like, oh, okay, that's weird. I was like, I'm not talking to this guy. Like, I'll let my girlfriend do it. And then, you know, a few weeks later, he's like, I had to go back and get another antibiotic shot in my leg. He's got syphilis. I handed it off to my insurance company. And they're like, oh, yeah, this dude is career criminal. Like, multiple counts of fraud.

That's how I choose my clients as well yeah well that's what they were like you need to you need to start like any like running background checks on people that like work and like did you like who does that like you yeah you want to work as an electrician on my property like i'm gonna run a background check on you it's like nobody does that but he had a massive record like theft over like you know insane amount like that i was like okay well that would have been good to know but he'd moved on to low-level antibiotic hoaxes yeah well it's so in the insurance company was clearly like handling it it was just you know like i say the statute of limitations is up and they weren't even his ambulance chasing attorney that he had didn't see a case there so

well what a shithead it takes a lot of gumption though to stab yourself with a screwdriver he wanted it maybe in an accident and he was and he thought he could like it's funny you say that together a roof not like a month after like selling or uh pressing charges or whatever filing suit or whatever fell off a roof in another incident it's like i wonder what to make it falls a lot yeah right by always getting hit by cars and slipping in the mall and guy burned by that coffee shop, and now your dog bites me. It's been a terrible week. It's been a terrible week. And after this, like a fucking 1870s

huckster, I'll be off to the next town to trip and slip and get bit by dogs. That's a cigar. Made a cool 700 as he's like sitting there with two casts on and like missing a toe.

He's doing me for a million. Oh my goodness. What's that Hurt Locker looking bomb defusal suit you got going on back there? What is that thing? Oh, that's an EOD-8 bomb suit. It's real?

Yeah. Check it out. I guess you've had calls to put that on before huh yeah um let me see here yeah it reminded me of hurt locker is that similar to what uh from the movie he's muted i don't know if he knows he's muted no yeah he is muted damn hear me all right thing yeah yeah yeah huh i thought that was a i thought that was like a red bookshelf how much can it save you from could could you handle a grenade could you handle a mortar shell nearby um what's that?

Do you think you could handle a grenade going off if you're in that? Man, that's a thing with bomb suits. I get why. I mean, they're really not going to stop overpressure that well i mean they will a little but it's it's really a light frag protection what is can i like like like i think it's the light frag protection and it's also like on the approach and the and getting away like like there's definitely no matter how big the thing is up up while you walking up to, or walking away from whatever you're going to defuse or fuck with where like, Oh,

if it went off now, I'd be okay because of the suit. You could not stand here. I can stand here. There's a range. You're safe at 50 feet. I'm safe at 200. But once you're up there tinkering with the thing,

right? Like that thing, I don't know what the thing is that doesn't kill you. Even though you're wearing that suit, if you're tinkering with it. You know what I mean? It has to be a little thing. And even then, this shit's gone and your face is gone maybe. Definitely your hands.

Most people don't think about soft tissue damage with overpressure. Like, like I've got, uh, I very seldom post a social at this point, but I've got a reel on my Instagram feed of like me uncorking a bottle of champagne with a fireball going off behind me. And you watch the overpressure go, uh, through the champagne as it's coming out and you just think about that going through all the soft tissue on your body in your organs and like i mean you can even look at my crotch on that and look at how the ripples on my blue jeans are affected by it and it's like most people think about fragmentation as like the the primary means of whatever, like the damage. But the overpressure can quite literally turn your brain tissue into jello. What does it take to create overpressure?

Like a frag grenade? A regular one an army guy would throw? It's the kinetic kind of energy of the gases expanding, leading out from from the, I think I understand overpressure, but for example, if I was next to a 50 Cal, that's not enough overpressure to do anything. If I was next to a frag grenade, is that where more than just the fragments are dangerous? The overpressure is also dangerous. Like what does it take to create a dangerous overpressure? Well, it really depends because there's a lot of different variables, right? So if you take like a 50 cal and like the, the, the round in itself is going what, 2,800 feet per second, um, give or take.

And, and if you're at the muzzle break, how that overpressure is focused could be X amount of energy. Um, but then you take most like PTN or C4 and stuff like that is running at around 30 or 28,000 feet per second. So quite literally 10 times the amount of energy being released. And so you look at things like up onward Humvees and stuff like that, And you get these really, really weird reactions inside the cabin because you have all these, these hard surfaces that can actually reflect and channel into like essentially laser beams of overpressure. So like you're channeling a muzzle brake onto somebody. So it really, it depends on the circumstance, but that's why it can get kind of, kind of hairy. I know a lot of guys who preferred to be in soft vehicles versus up armored. Could they be wrong? I think you're a subject matter expert on this, but like,

I can imagine this being a field where there's a lot of bullshit where like wives tales run rampant on what overpressure does. I've heard people claiming to be snipers saying that if you miss someone with a 50 cal you know from like a distance that they're still in deep trouble they could still die if that bullet comes anywhere near them i know the guy you're talking about what's that guy's problem it's the guy who's skinny and black yeah it's his skin that guy he's one of those guys with credentials who does social media stuff, right? Like, I'm ex-Navy SEAL Billy Badass, and I was a sniper for Delta Force, and I was sheet-dipped and did CIE Black Ops, and I also play Call of Duty now, so subscribe to my channel.

He's that guy. And he's just like, yeah, the.50 caliber BMG is such a powerful round. You can miss someone, and the bullet could go past them, tear their arm right off. No, of course it won't. If you could shoot it through my hand reliably, I'd be okay, I bet. I don't know if it'll shatter a champagne glass.

Did you do a video where you debunked this? I feel like I've seen the champagne glass video. No, I've uncorked a bottle of champagne with a 50 cal before and it didn't shatter it yeah i mean a glass like a flute a champagne flute i should say like i think mythbusters like shot right next to a flute because that's considered like this really dainty fragile piece of glass shockwave um women can break those by hitting high notes

right you've probably seen that happen that's a real thing but the 50 count going past it won't it's silly it's fucking science fiction and him saying that as someone who supposedly served or used that weapons platform is just he looks like a he might just want a lot of interaction because people are making videos about the stupid thing he said you know you got to think about what's happening so the the round in itself there there it is accurate to say that there is a um a supersonic overpressure wave around the bullet but the most people are talking about in overpressure like kinetic energy like damage situations it's like the rapid expansion of the gases not necessarily the projectileile that's creating the overpressure. So the be inside the chamber of the round going off, the gas is coming out the muzzle brake.

You're getting way more overpressure there than you are from the round going by. Yeah, there's the supersonic component to it. The shockwave around it. Yeah, there's the supersonic component to it, the shockwave around it. You see the air condensing because the water molecules are being pushed together and it's condensing into like visible water and from just the humidity in the air. Shockwaves are fucking cool. Like the big ones like that Beirut explosion. That might be the most impressive visual shockwave ever recorded because there's that there's been a couple of Chinese factories that blew up. visual shockwave ever recorded because there's that there's been a couple chinese factories that blew up and i think i saw a flour mill flour um like bread flour is very explosive in the right

conditions when it's atomized in the air just right so that when one piece of flour burns it can set off the piece of flour next to it if it's the right concentration it's a huge bomb um that explosion was big but that beirut thing is crazy. I think you're smart enough now, like after all your experiences to, to not fall into that situation that those were kind of, uh, kind of tragic in that. Like you,

I know most people, the urge to want to film, Ooh, big explosion. But like in the back of our heads, you're going, Oh shit. Light travels faster than sound that's coming it's coming loaded it's fucking coming take cover yeah especially when you're playing glass yeah and you see all the windows just like five seconds later

just yeah who knows who lived when you see it you know that that moves at 186 000 miles per second there's some other shit coming at like 700 miles per hour that's gonna ruin your life like you need to is that guy in the clip you just shared it was the one with the beirut explosion where there's a guy on a sea dew and he jumps into the water as the pressure video is coming yeah i just yeah referencing it i haven't seen is is that dude... So he's totally fine going underwater. Yeah, you see the camera get all upturned and everything because he's underwater while the wave is passing. 100%.

100% good. The water protected him. I don't know that it would have... I don't know what it would have done to him if he hadn't gone in the water. That was a colossal explosion. But going in the water is a smart move it's super heads up and look it's it looks cool on the video too that was very cool but i didn't know if that was like

oh that you know it traveled through the water and still fucked him up a little bit or oh no it just it did the pressure goes the path of least resistance which is across the top or so i don't know i don't know how this works it's the air moving is a big part of it. Like it's about to hit. That's the problem with those. You know, we faked all that nuclear. Every time you see a nuclear explosion footage and you I'll describe it and you'll picture it. A building gets hit by a wave of pressure. And at first all the paint is scorched off and then the building blows away. Or then there's the one where all the trees lay way over to the right, and then they come back, and

as they sort of settle, like, you can see ash and soot falling off of them. That's all fake footage that the Department of Defense crafted, like, made. It's not nuclear detonations, but when the Russians saw that shit...

My God, the West has the most durable cameras in all of existence. Well, look at what it does to that house, and yet cameras stay perfectly focused. Exactly. Imagine American camera technology. In 1939.

Yeah, like our fucking camera can survive the black... He's right. I was kind of disappointed when I learned that, too. No wonder those look so cool. I'm fucking proud. That's such a good move. You know? You think we got them?

100%? Or do you think there was some... I think we're still getting them, Taylor. We should make more fake nuke tests? That's what the Russians are doing right now, right? I think they're threatening to shoot some in space or whatever. Oh, really?

Maybe that's what the UAP things are or whatever. What's UAP? Those UAP things are either, most likely, that's our shit. That's our drones. That's our sixth generation Dark Wars stuff. Or slim possibility, it's some sort of alien race that lives beneath the waves. That's our sixth generation Dark Wars stuff. Or Slim Possibility. It's some sort of alien race that lives beneath the waves.

Not alien. They've been here all along. They're like the sea people. We're the earth people, but the sea people are like millions of years of evolution ahead of us because they haven't had to deal with any of the crazy shit that goes on topside. Little mermaid people. I think the footage is real kyle huh i think that footage is real i don't

think so i know the the ones where it's like the fixed camera and like the the house blows over no i think those ones are are fake the ones in like the bikini atoll um the underwater ones where you see like the naval vessels doing stuff, the space one, which is really cool. That's all real. This is all I, this is what I just found out.

So the artillery shell one, is it real? I was looking into it. There was a guy on Joe Rogan's podcast recently, Mark Andreessen, or I can't pronounce names, but that sounds right. Who claimed they were fake and said,

you know what happened to the cameras, et cetera. And that was like one of the ways of debunking it. But the powers that be have come fake and said, you know what happened to the cameras, et cetera. And that was like one of the ways of debunking it. But, um, the powers that be have come back and said, and the cameras were well protected in their housings or whatever. And that these are real footages.

This is real footage. You tell me a Joe Rogan guest misled me on scientific information. If that's where you got it, it seems that most of my associated press tells us, Oh my God, I get so much of my historical data from the Joe Rogan podcast. I, if that's where you got it it seems like at least that's what associated press tells us oh my god i get so much of my historical data from the joe rogan podcast i i'm in shambles right now if this i don't know where you heard it i'd only be guessing but uh literally that i mean i'm sure it was i'm sure it was i said no i've heard about these ones from other i don't remember where

but like obviously nukes are real but it totally makes sense to make propaganda videos to scare geopolitical enemies i mean we're right next to the house the logic in it like i'm not denying that it does make a certain sense to do this but that doesn't prove it false i think they showed many i thought you could see like that some of the stuff was miniatures or something i I thought that was the case. I had that belief, but it's very possible. It looks fake once you hear someone say it is. You're like, oh.

Yeah, I guess that doesn't really make sense. Well, you're a moon denier, so you'd misbelieve anything. Am I? Yeah, I don't even think it's fucking there. There is no moon. He doesn't think there's a moon. There is no moon. There is no moon.

He doesn't think there's a moon. That's no moon. He thinks it's a Death Star. And that if we don't pay our annual tithe of rare earth minerals to the lunar elite, then they'll zap us. That's what the Chinese find in northern Arizona

and southern something. I forget. What's north of Arizona? Wyoming? I thought it was Wyoming. I was afraid that sounds stupid if I was like, you know, the border of Arizona and Alaska. Dude, I didn't know Wyoming was the cowboy state until last week when we were looking at state mottos because it was

four hours in or whatever. Beautiful. But I was impressed. I don't know. I i like that i wouldn't have thought wyoming seems like texas should be the cowboy state but i think that's just uh hollywood propaganda yeah to be oklahoma's cowboy isn't that what they're what is the osu team called they're sooners right oh yeah sooners cheaters cowboy cheaters. You don't know what a Sooner is? We call them. You know what a Sooner is?

Is it a dog? Is it like a hand dog or something? No, no, no. Okay. So back in the days, people would line up essentially with sticks to go pick off their plots of land in the big migration out west. And they could claim land. Sooners were people who would cheat and leave early and go stake off of their land ahead of

the official start time. Yeah. That's how they got Oklahoma and you were stuck with Texas. I joke, cause I grew up, you know know i grew up technically there in georgia uh but i tell everyone chattanooga um and so you know they're like you know they'll see me with something ut on and they're like oh that's not the right you know color or whatever i'm like oh yeah that's tennessee and they're like well oh you know not ut that's that's And I'm like, well, technically Tennessee had a college before Texas had a state. So who's really

the real UT? And people always... It's just fun to think that fight was like, how many national championships do you guys have? I'm like, I don't really care. How many Dollywoods do you have? Using that argument. I don't know this for sure, but I bet USC, University of South Carolina, is the real USC.

Yeah. Again, I'm not that passionate to continue the argument. That's why you're even harder to be in the argument. I'm going to throw this out there and not care about your rebuttal. That's the easiest way to win the argument.

You say something wild. It's very fun try this everyone you say something like out there and then someone's like actually blah blah blah blah blah and you're like okay whatever i remain wow look at this guy fucking googling like trying to this guy did it with his first impulse my my favorite thing taylor does is when you come and you're really excited about something you're like taylor taylor guess guess how much weight i lifted today and he'll go 12 000 pounds it's like no no fuck you dude guess what near that no i do that 333G, just benching it in the back.

Dude, I had someone, this is years ago, brag to me about a deal they got on a car. And they're like, what do you think I paid for this Lexus? And I'm like, oh, nine, 10 grand, probably. And they're like, well, no. And you just totally take the wind out of those sails. You just ruin it. Oh oh it's so fun definitely gotta try that like i gotta think about more scenarios where you can really just throw off the gas just by oh yeah it's fucking awful it's so funny i hate it because you're coming in hot. You're excited about an accomplishment

or an achievement of some kind you've made. You're like, you'll never believe how many subscribers I got today. Taylor, yes. Did you get 30,000? No, I got 800. What's wrong with you, man? No, I'm sorry. You just came in so excited. I thought it would be big news. No, that 800, that's horrible.

That's good for you. It's a good fucking day, man. 800 new people showed up and then you go no no i am excited for you that's always great like my favorite my wife and i we do this thing where like when we insult each other it's like a veiled compliment so she's like what do you i'm drawing a blank how do you spell who i? I'll be like, you're so pretty. That's the way we lay it down. You guys are sweet.

Give you those sexcations. Dream relationship. You're dope. Are they dope? I don't know why everyone isn't doing this. You should. Fuck at the mayor's house in South Carolina. Historical landmark, but not a tourist attraction.

I feel like, I don't know if it's super pricey or whatever, but there's that one hotel where you're underwater in your room. Your room is an underwater. Sounds crazy. And so the windows are opening to a fish tank, basically. You're in a fish. You're like that little house you put in the fish tank. You're in that house, basically, with your lady friend in some sort of fish tank, basically. You're like that little house you put in the fish tank. You're in that house, basically, with your lady friend

in some sort of fish tank hotel. I definitely saw that on the internet. Yeah, I'm getting submarine vibes. I'm good. I could have dreamed it. That happens sometimes, too. Oh, I definitely am seeing this. Have you seen those hotels that are made out of ice?

Yeah, maybe in Norway norway or something norway finland something like that one of those cool countries where they haven't oh look at that that is neat i would be uh i'd have trouble sleeping there i think i would be scared a little i'd never leave the room really and let me see is that the one i'm thinking is that the first one i saw yeah i got the floating dollars a night you better not leave the room god damn i'm leaving okay so it's not that deep i mean you you'd probably still die but you wouldn't be crushed i mean what if it just makes some pinholes though richard land it just fills with water it's not going to shatter and allow you to swim to the top it's going to fill with water yeah and you're like those chilean miners or whatever the fuck oh don't even talk about that

that's awful they left them in there they left it in that pipe they didn't even know they got them out in the end right no all right here's what happened they all got all these chilean fucking welders or whatever scuba welders fucking got sucked into this pipe because of a pressure change. And they're all broken up in there, broken arms and shit. But there's enough air in the pipe that they can lean up and they're yelling down, like, Domingo's got a fucking broken leg and Mikey's head's bleeding. But we're all in sort of communication. And one of them gets out.

And the company doesn't believe him that his friends are alive in the pipe. is bleeding, but we're all in sort of communication, and one of them gets out, and the people, the company doesn't believe him, that his friends are alive in the pipe. They're like, nobody could be alive in the pipe. And they don't rescue them. They let them die. Oh, shit. No one could be alive in that pipe, Domingo. You must have hit your head. Had too much tequila last night, I suspect.

Get out of here. You're trying to get some workman's comp, probably. And they left those guys in there to die and they fucking died damn i had in my head that they had made a movie about this and that they had all gotten out safely i mean done to my head three minutes ago that's how i would have told that story is like oh and then they got them out and you know they you know they were back to mining happily doing their songs no there's one of those like dark stories youtube channels where like it breaks it down i think they've had like the guys they're talking and telling his story and then they have that you know the graphics showing how they were in the pipe looks awful 12 miners grievous pain

this episode brought to you by square space all these guys wished that they'd gone into web development. Great segue. That's a good one. I love those really dark murder channels that are like

VPN sponsored. Just very, very silly. disjointed are there any other horrid stories like that that i might be misremembering i don't know that you missed i like the stories about um there was a salt mine that filled with water um because it was like built under a fucking lake inexplicably but then the terrifying part besides if you're a salt miner being drowned like hundreds of feet below the earth yeah but the people who were in the lake like joy boating suddenly a whirlpool like in the cartoons opened up in this lake that started drawing everything

down into it and you and you're going down into a salt mine deep within the earth if you get sucked in there um and it sucked huge swaths of land up and and i don't remember if any boats with people on them got sucked in or not but oh well you said with people so i'm not sure boats would keep boats did but what was impressive to me was like trees were getting sucked down there you're like well that i mean the earth isn't going to get sucked down by the whirlpool and then sure enough the trees root systems would break free and these trees were 75 feet tall 100 feet tall it's a huge volume of estimating big things yeah and um so you watch a hundred foot tree get sucked into the lake and it's like holy shit it doesn't come back yeah i

saw one um about some mine in england i think it was like copper and tin and they had the way you got back out of the mine is they had these two reciprocating poles with steps on them so you'd grab one pole and put on the step on the step and it would lift you up 10 feet and then you stepped off onto the other pole and it would reciprocate and go up so they're always going like this and the miners doing this like jump back and forth thing this is before elevators were invented um but that that system broke off and fell hundreds of feet down through with men on it and everybody's just pinned down in the bottom i like the mining disaster videos because it's like

that's one of the worst that's one of the worst job being stuck down there buried beneath the earth um and even on a fantastic day in the mines like that sucks like you're mining salt the best day of the mines like the pizza party worst like i'd take any other job i did see some scary stuff of those oil rig workers. Actually, I'd prefer that. As long as I can see the sky, I'm in a better place than in a mine shaft. I think I'd enjoy being an underwater welder.

I feel like that'd be cool. You like scuba? I haven't really done it. I always like other water things, though though i've only done uh snorkeling and then scuba in a pool have you scuba'd richard yeah i uh i don't know man i just feel like the ocean will fuck you up and humble you in a heartbeat. Yeah. Like I,

like I, it's just, there's so many variables. You know what? It's one of those things. It's like skydiving. I was, there was no way I was going to do it until I did a lot of research on it and

realized what the variables were and all the incidents and most people that died, why they died and all these other things. But man, there's so many variables in the ocean between you being not the top of the food chain to like, I don't know if you've, maybe I psyched myself out.

Have you ever seen any of those like dives that people do in caves, like Jacob's well and stuff like that? I got to take their rig off. Love that shit through dude. It's so stressful. My thing. I'll take, got to take their rig off. Love that shit. Dude, it's not my thing. I'll take all the snakes. Give me all the snakes in my pastures, please.

I think I'm a snake guy. I changed my name to Snake. I'm going to incorporate snakes into my Tinder profile. It's so funny to be a snake guy I'm going to incorporate snakes into my Tinder profile. The snake Ryan. It's so funny to be a snake guy who has it on his shoulders and every time it's slithering, I'm like, I just love snakes.

It's better than scuba. It's better than scuba. Oh, man. Snake voice. Have you done scuba and didn't like it? Yeah, no, I'm certified i've uh i actually have tanks i have a couple of rigs i just like yeah i do like i spend most of my time shooting crap underwater uh like cameras i have a spear gun and stuff that i'd film high speed

uh underwater and everything because i wanted to see like the, the bubbles and like the super cavitation effect underwater and everything. So I'd shoot guns underwater and everything. Um, but I'm like, I, I don't know. I'm just,

I'm too ignorant to embrace it. You ever see the scene in the abyss where they use the liquid oxygen to go super deep? Yes. So I guess, you know, you can't, below a certain depth, I guess you couldn't breathe. Maybe it smushes you

because you bear inside. You can only take so much pressure. Something like that. Something because of the pressure. And also, like, the liquid mixture is much more oxygen dense. Oxygen dense. So it lasts longer.

You could have a tank of liquid O2 mixture that would last for hours, I suppose. Is it different than nitrox? I don't know what nitrox is. This stuff's pink. And in the movie, The Abyss, they demonstrate it by putting a rat into the liquid solution.

And you're watching the movie. You're like, wow, that looks real. It is real. The rat is breathing the liquid solution. It works. the movie you're like wow that looks real it is real the rat is breathing the liquid solution it works that's got to feel so weird yeah the rats hate it the problem the reason the shots are so quick is because the rats shit themselves constantly while they're in the solution that's what i would do too because they're terrified myself are you subverting me in the breathable pink liquid yeah they drown you um imagine a

breathable liquid like how hard it would drown you. Imagine a breathable liquid, like how hard it would be to move that liquid in and out of your respiratory system. Yeah. You would need a suit that worked kind of like a fighter pilot's pressure suit, the way that it squeezes your thighs to get the blood up here.

You'd need something to help you with operate your lungs, your whole system. It'd help you squeeze that stuff out and draw it in. That would be really hard. So if you put your face in a vat of that and just breathe in and then stood up and exhaled, it would look like you were vomiting? Like just pink goo exhaling? I would really be vomiting. It goo it's liquid it's it

it's very watery like um it's it's like the consistency of water um you could pull the clip up and like it's like water i think it i remember it being kind of syrupy i don't okay i'm just like risk risk to reward like i could go hiking or i could put a bunch of fucking pink goo in my lungs and walk at the bottom of the ocean and risk dying. By the way, the deep sea dive... Using it for humans to deep sea dive is like science fiction, but it works on the rats, is what I'm saying.

In the movie, now they put it in William Hurt's fucking suit, and they drown him, and he's like... And then they send him down to the bottom to diffuse a nuclear weapon. suit and they drown him and he's like and then they send him down to the bottom to fix to defuse a nuclear weapon but so we don't we've never used this on people really I'm sure they've used it on people if they probably got pneumonia the next

day I think that's the main problem is when you put liquid into your lungs you get pneumonia so that's that's going to be an issue okay that's another point in Richard's column of why. Like, just go for a hike. We're terrestrial animals, and we are best on land.

We suck in the water. We're not even, like, lower third in the water. We're bottom 1% of water-dwelling creatures. We're top tier for hominids. Look at them motherfuckers. They drown right away. They fear the water. Orangutan sees you jump in the water water he thinks he writes you off right away you think you might as well

jump into lava as far as he's concerned have you seen the clips of the gorillas like crossing a stream and they're doing their gorilla like quadruped walk and then they get to the stream and they stand up like a person with like their gorilla paws up and they like across because they don't want to get their knuckles wet and then they go back to it. That's funny. Yeah. They don't like it. I guess they like it way less than we do.

All right, fine. We're the best of the bipedal apes. I've seen the orangutan that washes itself with soap in the river because it had seen people do it in the river, and I saw the one that sweeps its enclosure. Not well, mind you. It's operating a broom, though, for sure, on purpose. had seen people do it in the river and i saw the one that sweeps its enclosure not well my it's operating a broom though for sure on purpose hammers too with there's a david attenborough oh that's sad david attenborough's like notice the

way they can mimic human behavior lucy here is using a hammer because her handler marcus was using one last week and like you show lucy doing it and she's holding it totally wrong she's not even the nail is like laid on a piece of board and she's just there's no there's no spark there's no understanding of like of what's why what this is why it is what this is why it it is, what this is, why it is. She just knows that this... Yeah. I saw someone do this, and I'm going to mimic that. Monkey see, monkey do.

I don't know why he was doing it, and I don't know why I'm doing it. And she really doesn't understand what he's doing either because she's not putting the nail there. She's not hitting it. Planet of Apes is not going to happen anytime soon,'s not hitting it. Planet of the Apes is not going to happen anytime soon, I don't think. No, we dominate the other

apes. Not even a contest. Have you seen the new movie? There's like four or five of them now. It started off with a virus that I think made the apes smart and killed people or something. So there's not as many people, but now you've got super smart apes. I the new one's coming out soon it's a kingdom of the planet of

the apes that cgi is good those apes look disturbingly real cgi is really good at everything but human faces i don't know about that man i watched that show masters of the sky oh please how deep are you i watched the first episode last night okay after we got the show i watched they're all the same you've seen it i don't think that cgi is very good and i expected more out of apple tv tom hanks and steven spielberg yep um and and it's supposed to be cut from the same cloth as band of brothers which i get you know from up from decades ago and at this point but still i think i expect a lot i don't know those b-17s look a little not real and something about that main guy i think he played elvis in that biopic like he's

guys buck or bucky the really good looking one blondish yeah he's got like elvis hair and a woman's mouth dude that guy no no... And he can't grow facial hair. He's a femboy. I'm four episodes in. Now, there's only five released so far, so I'm almost current. And that show fucking sucks. There is no character development

in that show. I am now four hours into this thing. I don't give a flying fuck about a single person in that show. And this is a mild spoiler, but I don't think it'll ruin flying fuck about a single person in that show and this is a mild spoiler but i don't think it'll ruin it there is a person in the show who disappears off camera i'm like i don't fucking believe you i don't believe you one bit these people have plot armor thick as fuck in this show that every time a plane lands it has like no landing gear it's all shot oh they love show they're missing half of their plane they

land in with like partial wings none of this shit is like it it is so action-packed oh by the way most of the missions like two-thirds of the bombers go die and i'm like that can't be how it really was that can't be that these guys had a one-third survival rate and they had to get to 25 missions what is one-third times 25 it's a really small number no one might must have ever survived that war it is horseshit thanks to it that i am i'm like yellow stoning it now and then i'm like kind of compelled and interested and wrapped up at hating this show it is so for those who don't know what we're talking about it's it's called masters the air like i said it's on apple tv it's uh tom hanks and uh steven spielberg produced thing it's supposed to be band of

brothers the the continuation of that like the the band of brothers trilogy if you will that pacific being the second one this is supposed to be the air war in europe and it's american fly boys heading over to the get old england i'm hitler and i thought that sounded fun but man i just seemed a little gay and i thought it was weird you know what i didn't like and i'll tell you this like i'm not religious but there's a part where they're about to go bomb the nazis and fly through an ocean of flack and the chaplain comes and he's like i'm father michaels i'll be down the hall if any of you need me and the guy goes we'll let you know if we need you, Padre. It's 1940 something.

It's 43. Everybody in that room is coming to suck the Padre's dick and ask him to call in a favor with God. None of these guys are agnostic. None of these guys are too cool for God. These guys think God is cool as it gets. These guys are Christian as can be. He's from casper wyoming this is a white man from casper wyoming who was born in 1920 if he is not christian then they would have beaten it into him by now i promise you so that seemed to me and again like

like it's the i don't like inaccuracies i don don't... They should all be religious. None of them saw Le Padre. I remember in Band of Brothers when they were about to drop into fucking occupied France, we're all taking a knee and throwing one up to the big guy. And one of my favorite war movies ever, right, with that Andrew Garfield guy.

Hacksaw Ridge. Something close to that. Hacksaw Ridge. What is it when you're... A conscientious objector. a conscientious objector? A conscientious objector. He's a conscientious objector because he's religious beliefs.

He went into battle as a fucking combat medic but he didn't bring a gun. I cry if I tell the story. He saved so many people the first day that the commander's like, why aren't you boys up on that ridge fighting?

The man won't go up till Private Garfield says a prayer for him, sir. Like, no, they're all waiting on him to get there and, like, say a prayer over him because the shit he did the day before was so miraculous. They think he's got, like, the touch of God on him or something. Oh, yeah. It's beautiful. And it's like, yeah, they're out there fighting for their lives. Probably all very religious, I would expect.

Can you imagine that annoyed me in the chaplain from your fellow soldiers? Yeah, you take it easy, Padre. The rest of your fellow pilots are going to be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? He's a man of God. You don't want him praying for us this guy doesn't want him praying for us as we're up there fighting the krauts by the way by the way the very next scene this guy's way too comfortable friend buck and bucky are their names these two gay friends um clearly uh fucking like one of them's like here

here's my lucky deuce take my lucky deuce up with you it's a two dollar bill take my lucky deuce up with you i flew two missions with it i bit a corner off before each one i made it back someday this will be red and it's clear like and it's clear the guy's taking it to to make his friend his boyfriend feel good he's like yeah i'll take your two dollar bill yeah tuck it in here he'll do but but meanwhile it's yeah we'll let you know padre nothing for the padre but but like our boyfriend's two dollar bill yeah i'll bite a corner off of it i'll taste your fuck oh it tastes like you buck or are you bucky which is which fucking lame as shit that happens again

actually another guy this isn't a spoiler, someone hands a snow globe to his peer because it's his good luck charm. I was like, oh, I guess this is common. Days went around until the 70s. Then all of a sudden, we're in France, right? We get into France, and the flak is coming up like the Empire is shooting at us. There's no way flak looked like

that. Every flak cannon has the altimeter fuse dialed in exactly the same yeah all they gotta do is pull up a few hundred feet boys or down it's all blowing up right here at 2300 feet where we are or whatever the fuck like at our altitude is where the flak is set so it's like up or down like it would solve the whole problem it's nonsense it's just for visuals it's silly and then they show the nazis for the first time and oh they got those uniforms they got those helmets their uniforms they're fucking let me tell you there's none of they're all fucking lockstep they're getting

shit done everybody looks clean everybody looks well dressed i don't know every time I see him, Taylor. Yep. Every time you see him, you want to dust out that uniform in your closet and you step around him. I just think that style's coming back. You know, I just wish I remember when... Think of how good our military would look if after the war we were like, we're taking all the Nazi scientists

and we're taking all the Hugo Boss guys and you're dapping us up same way we show up in korea just with drip like we look like god this is the world war ii american army they've got like collars they got pads in their shoulders like they're looking great that would i think we should do that we need to have better looking army uh attire people i would put our military in shoulder pads like Kanye was wearing to make us look bigger and more powerful. That would be part of every uniform, like the huge football

pads underneath the uniform. You know what? Hear me out. Hear me out. Ron DeSantis chooses the combat boots. Every soldier we have is suddenly five inches tall. Up and over, soldiers! You would hate that because it's that's mutually assured destruction because now he's five inches taller but the six foot two guy is also is he still you know kicking

yeah is he still wearing those boots or did he cut yeah he's reversing his book bands right now because he found them to be a bad idea. I think people are using the book bands against the Bible and stuff, right? I actually am not even sure. I just saw him kind of backtrack on a bill that he liked previously. Interesting. What about the boots?

Is he still wearing the boots? Oh, yeah. He's a boot man for life. You can't change your height. He's been photographed with his wife wearing those boots now, Taylor. He's a boot man for life. He's trying to get to the core of the mic. You can't change your height. He's been photographed with his wife wearing those boots now, Taylor. He has to wear them forever. Or he has to do something to her. The leg lengthening surgery.

Oh, I didn't even think of shortening the wife. That's a brilliant idea. Honey, you gotta lose six inches. What about the Weight Watchers? I'm not talking about that. He, like, goes to China for, like, a two-month all the Weight Watchers? I'm not talking about that. He goes to China for a two-month no-show trip

and they're like, he's colluding with Chinese officials. Comes back and he just got secret leg lengthening surgery. They do it wrong. We've got a long-standing bet, Woody and I, on who will be the next president of the United States. I've got the bet with a few people. I made it a couple years ago now, probably.

I want a bet, by the way. Which one did you win? I had Alexander something, Navalny, the Russian dude in the death pool. Ah, that's true. We also have a death pool here where we each pick, I think, three, maybe five people who there are some rules we can't pick people older than 60 years old i believe because that's you know it's no fun when people pick like feinstein four days before she died it might be younger than that it might be 40 or 50 like it's young so we wanted the death pool thing to definitely not be natural causes we wanted you

to pick like an occurrence so that way oh wonderful my man wow well done thank you can i just say i love my list all right i i thought i i knocked this out of the park i picked a lot of unhealthy fat people and frankly african americans because they suffer from a lot of uh diseases that that that others don't and also their health care is on average not that great. Gunshot wounds. That's how I won the death pool, by the way, with DMX. Taylor, come on. I took some high risk, high reward ones. At the time, Ben Affleck was looking sad in a lot of photos. I thought that might pan out for me. It did not. Lil Wayne is a genuinely very good guess.

He was in the news at the time we guessed this for like five. Lean again, which kills you. Alex Jones was in his reddest phase. Travis Pastrana. He is a risky risk taker and he's getting older. And that's when like the Houdini kind of guys tend to go Jonah Hill at the time. I don't like that Jonah Hill is thin in this photo. He was monstrously fat at the time that I picked him. And thenorge garcia might be dead and it could have slipped under the radar i have

no idea he has those bags under his eyes i always think he's on drugs i forget why i chose kanye alex and all do i need to say anything more he's that guy that's uh free climber free climber on oh el capitan thank you that's what i'm going for and he's just on he's just freaking hanging Free Climber on El Capitan. Thank you. That's what I'm going for. He's just freaking hanging from rocks on the edge of death all the time. Chris Brown was going through some sort of pedo-rape trials. I was like, he might just...

Alexei Navalny. What else do I say? That's a good pick. I polluted with Putin to win the death pool I knew it you're really falling behind here Taylor none of your chosen celebrities have died yet well I think the rules are

when the first person dies we have to re-pick if that were true we would have re-picked by now because we're very stringent with this stuff you just said you're like the rules are this well that already happened and we didn't do it well that those aren't the rules at all no i was saying because we don't follow the we we set up death pools trying to get a pay me five dollars i think so too that's a hundred percent oh do we owe woody money now you both owe me five dollars oh okay and you might owe me money now? You both owe me $5. Oh, okay. And you might owe me $10 now, Kyle. Rats.

I would owe you $15 now, I believe. Oh, really? Will Wayne, come on. I'm keeping track. I want the PayPal. I don't want to send you $5 and you to get $4.85 like you've been doing people. Woody pays bets $5 at a time, and you'll get $4.85 fucking cents. And it's like, you couldn't eat the 15 cents.

Just let a few pile up before you mail. Send me the money. Tell me what your fee is. I don't know. I gave you $5. I'm just speaking up for the poor patrons who don't have business PayPal accounts

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This episode is also brought to you by Merrick Health. Merrick Health, it's time you improve yourself. It's time that you go get the test done, get regulated, see what you can do and how you need to do it in order to improve yourself to a world unknown. Did Kyle ever imagine that he would be a shredded demigod? Not until he went to Merrick Health. Yeah, wasn't that flattering? I mean, I've always sort of considered myself.

On his biggest day. I mean, you're going to have to ask bigger questions. I've told you, I often believe that I'm in a simulation that's just created for me, and you're all just little NPCs. He has body dysmorphia in that he always sees arnold in the mirror i've got him on the wall i've got arnold on the wall and he's he's he's um he's he's doing curls and he's in excruciating pain while he's doing them and it says like conquer it says conquer yeah it says conquer yeah it's a good poster it's a good fucking poster but anyway that poster won't

get you jacked no it won't health can help Your health can help. Yeah. It's called PKA. It's pretty cheap to get started. The first part is getting your blood work done. And even if it comes back and says your testosterone levels are okay, the blood work is so comprehensive, and the doctors that they're going to have you consult with, telemedicine, everything, are so good at what they do that they'll find other things. I had an issue with

my thyroid that was concerning that it was like, oh, this could be something scary. And we fixed it with supplementation. You know, we fixed it with just over the counter supplementation and we tested again in three months and it's like all of my levels were better. Like so much was wrong with my blood work. And three months later, um, after continuing with Merrick, it was all optimal and super optimal. And some, some scenarios, right? Like, like it was, I had very good blood work three months in and just the psychological effect. Even if you're not going to like pump iron and gain 20 pounds of muscle this year, like you will feel so much more confident, so much more energy.

If you're, if you're getting sleepy in the middle of the day and you didn't use to, if, uh, if you're, if it's not that you can't have sex, it's that you just don't even want to, you're kind of disinterested.

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I am that I would even take before pictures. What did I think was going to happen? What did I think was going to fucking happen? Eight weeks later, you can't tell which is which. That's not going to be the case. Eight weeks after you start with Merrick and start working out and having a decent diet,

you'll be like, oh shit shit you're gonna be you're like I you'll you'll buckle down even more you'll be like eight weeks from now I will be a completely different human being I think I think 10 months in I had morphed into like a thick daddy I was like fucking 200 you've always considered yourself a thick daddy that's my nickname you gave it to me i was like 220 with no neck or something like that 225 with no neck and just just just like all traps like like well this is this is after i like leaned out this is later on but um yeah this is this is about he's filling out that tank though on the left this is like ten or this is a big daddy on the left and the right yeah this is actually the phase i'm referring to this is this is actually eight months do you remember when i kept telling

you not to leave that phase yeah you like this day like this you're fucking huge just like this but see i've got like a little bit of love handle here i don't like that and like but but i'm i'm enormous like that like i my clothes are different like that but when you lean out and you start getting that gaunt look like you're unhealthy that's what you really want you look like a chilean miner in miner. I've been fishing all day. I was angry at the fat. It almost spooked me. I'd be like, this is how blood's traveling around my body? Everywhere?

I have armpit veins this big? You got a Van Damme look going on there. I'm very lean right there. Get anything you want on Tinder when you're that guy on the right. Well, nobody wants that on there right yeah you can get you can you can i'm very lean like anything you want on tinder when you're that guy on the right well nobody wants that on the right i promise you all right anything you want on grinder no i don't think anybody there wants that thing on the right that's that's way too fast that's grossing me out a little bit when i look at my biceps two-thirds of this podcast though me and woody were very encouraging bring that photo back up because i that showed evidence in the left the before picture that you could absolutely grow a

beard you just choose not to you could see it looks like it would come in full when you were see oh i don't know about that look at that see what you're saying yeah well america probably with hair too like i get finasteride from them for my hairline. I think it works. Yeah, they do everything. They do all sorts of supplementation. Ask them about all the things that they do because you will be surprised at some of the services they offer.

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you shouldn't die without knowing the potential of the beauty of your body. Yeah, it's a shame for a man to go his whole life without looking jacked and shredded. Something to that effect. No, it really is. No, no no no no it's the other confucius say no paraphrase yeah so it's uh it is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable like i i felt like like it's like gay wisdom yeah i don't i don't give a shit first all, it's Greek, and they figured everything out, and so

checkmate. I mean, you know, they... They're like, Socrates, but what if there were more places to put our dick? And he's like, my God, what a question. Let me pontificate. Let me get one

of my boys to come over. Yeah. And of course, this episode also brought to you by Lock and Load, the premium ejaculation increasing supplement taking the world by storm. You can get it 10% off over at GorillaMind.com with code PKA or code Jizz. You can also get energy drinks, weight loss supplements, dream supplements, protein powder, anything and everything you want efficaciously dosed is available there. Link in the description to GorillaMind..com but start out with the lock and load let's improve your load

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We're the very niche market. It's drugs and sex. It's all we have here. Every now and then we'll get a sponsor to be like mental health. And it's like, I mean, i bet a lot of our guys need it but i'm coming i'm high and i'm still sad but i'm jacked when you yeah when you cry in the shower all doubled up, you're not going to have that embarrassing belly.

You're going to look great. You're going to look mean. It's been a while since I've cried double over in the shower. Those are sad times. Beaks. Is that a meme? Do people really cry in the shower? One time I did when I was like 17.

It's just real sad over a breakup. How long did you cry? How long was I in the shower crying uh just got you know to get a good cry out you know as it takes good 40 minutes no no we had a good water heater dad was all about that no i i like i think i just didn't want my parents to see me crying and uh and like what's wrong i don't want to fucking tell you what's wrong because that like that'll make it worse i don't want to talk about the same thing i've been getting easy pussy and now it's gone and uh yeah i think that's probably 17 the last time i had a double over in the shower crying although i have a good cry at least every like a real meltdown cry probably every two months i would say and it's usually

triggered by a fucking youtube video with a war veteran talking about the shit. I had some shit like that. He'd be like, I thought we was all dead. And then Mikey stood up. He was still alive. And he had the Bren gun.

And them Germans never seen him come. And I'm sitting there like, get him, Mikey there i'm like tearing up feeling sad like like that's the the the gaston um clip from band of brothers when that one guy is like talking about how cold baston was sometimes it'd be a cold night and my wife would say oh it's cold she'll come to. And I say, at least it ain't like Bastogne, though. Bastogne was cold. That doesn't really get me, but the Grandpa, I served with a company of heroes thing, even when

Taylor says it, I'm like, Taylor does it too well. You need to stop. It's so funny. Grandpa, were you a hero in the war? Grandpa says, Grandpa says, no. But I served in a company of heroes um the one that yes every time i watch uh medal of honor stories i like like half of those will

make me cry because the stuff the guys like like you know do is always so ridiculous like i remember the one vietnam vietnam one where they have to hold it out against uh some overwhelming force and he had like an artillery piece that he was firing point blank with beehive rounds and like they kept shooting him off his gun his artillery piece but he kept getting back he's like i just thought, Lord, let me fire one more at them. And I'd get back up, load the big boy, and give them them beehives. And it scattered. It killed a dozen of them. I shot. They'd shoot me again.

And I'd say, Lord, let me shoot one more. He just kept letting me shoot until I was all out. And then I looked across the way, and there wasn't no more of it in me. But I heard a boy crying he's on the other side of the river my legs were so shut up i couldn't swim no more but there was a raft and i got on that rubber raft and i started paddling with my arms because they'd still work and shit like that like he got to the other side then i realized that whatever god the vietnamese pray to is fake as hell.

Jesus Christ guided my bullets right into the brains of those. Lord, help me to put down this last farmer. Who's upset with our invasion. And he ghoulishly put his children on his back. And he begged me in his goofy speak. I said, Lord,

guide me to the village that these men came from here today. Let me find their families and fall upon them with your righteous love. And the Lord brought down his plans in fire no i love that there was a i cry for less man i'll cry for fucking cartoons winning a battle i definitely i don't think i cried at avengers end game when you know captain america gets the hammer and everything and goes ham on Thanos, but I

could have. I definitely could have cried. I've seen it a hundred times. It's a great fucking scene. We talk about it all the time, but it really is. Anything like that will get me. Oh, Green Mile. Green Mile makes me very, very sad. There's very little victory in Green Mile. I won't cry at that.

I don't want to watch it because I know I'm going to be so mad at Percy and how he treats that guy's a great actor he made me hate him as much as I hated Joffrey ever probably more actually not even close I hate Percy more than I hate Joffrey

like Percy is so despicable in that movie man what a great film have you not seen Green Mile? it's been a while. It's so... It's another Stephen King adaptation.

I know we were talking about... What was the pilot TV show? Masters of the Air. Masters of the Air. One problem I have, I lean on Jackie so heavy for this, they are all the same age, they are all white, age they are all white and they are all men they look identical to me it's wild world too every fucking one of them is an identical actor

you could swap them around i'd have no idea it is rough i saw a black guy on the poster so i'm sure he's coming at some point he's probably going to be one of those tuskegee airmen um not in the first four but i saw it too. Yeah. I was surprised that they didn't find a way to like, he's as white as any of us. And like, get sneaky men anyway. Like the sergeant would be like, looks white to me.

And like rubber stamp, like let him in. Like the only Negro who served in the Western forces. Whitey chalk'm whitey chalk i met a world war ii pilot this guy was pretty cool he i think he took me for a flight in his like world war ii era plane it had like 18 cylinders like this radial engine going everywhere a bi-wing uh it was a cool thing anyway he had strong feelings on the tuskegee airmen he's like he um called them a word i won't say oh shit yeah yeah and he's like you know those brothers they didn't do shit that movie's totally fake they were the worst pilots they didn't earn their

way into the sky in the same way he test didn't we test like syphilis on them or something? I feel like the government infected the Tuskegee Airmen with diseases and did bioweapon testing on them to see what would happen or something. We have to let Richard go. I didn't know if I needed to acknowledge it.

He's being billed by attorneys right now. Let's prioritize this. Thank you so much for coming on the show. They're all on the West Coast. i really can't wait to tell you about some stuff uh maybe i'll maybe i'll be able to sponsor the show or something at some point that'd be fun hell yeah yeah well no thank you for coming um we'll link um let let them know like whatever you want linked in the description we'll make it oh cool but yeah but you should go you know if you're getting billed right now we hate attorneys and we really hate paying them well so go do that i can't wait to fill you in on that maybe this does turn out good maybe it

doesn't turn out like um yeah lawsuits and vcs and all this other bs vietcong yeah yes yes yes again yeah fuckers yeah so yeah all right thank you so much let's not make it four years you know this this next gap okay okay yeah all right thank you thank you guys for having me on i really appreciate it i love you of course man anytime. Later. Hate that guy. He's the worst. Fucking scumbag in the first quarter, right? God, he's so hard to like him. Richard's a real nice guy.

Him and his fucking dogs. Him and his great attitude. Did we fact check Your friend, those awful dogs. Him and his great attitude. Broken dogs. Did we fact check diseases on pilots? Yeah, didn't they spray the Tuskegee Airmen with

syphilis or something? They sprayed a lot of St. Louis with shit in the 50s. That's what's wrong with you now. It could be. What kind of stuff did they spray St. Louis with? growth the serum check that one yeah yeah look at that i nailed it wait they gave the pilots syphilis that doesn't seem i'm not sure if they gave the pilot siblings i think they gave um like like no like black military men there yeah and alabama i think right maybe it wasn't related to the

pilots same name different thing okay yeah okay well good good thing they didn't do it with the pilots because you wouldn't want them up there all itchy and bernie taylor i'm having already can't fly killer migraine can you read this to her crowd of course the tuskegee experiment began in 1932 at a time when there was no known cure for syphilis a contagious venereal disease after being recruited by the promise of free medical care 600 african american men in macon county alabama were enrolled in the project which aims to study the full progression of the disease. Oh, shit. Damn.

They didn't have a cure. They didn't have a vaccine. They just wanted to watch syphilis do its thing. Okay, but this is just the name of the experiment. This is not related to the pilots. No, it's not. Same name, different thing. I'm trying to find news about... I thought they had done it to the pilots.

What are the false claims? That's the same way you conflate the Tuskegee experiment with the Tuskegee airmen I thought that's why they were so bad at flying planes They were Their palms hurt From the Syphilis was awful Yes awful

I use it as my Preventative healthcare spiel Syphilis is awful It's terrible it as my preventative healthcare spiel. Syphilis is awful. It's terrible. It kills you, makes you crazy, hurts. It's terrible, terrible. Super easy to fix. 50 cents. Yeah. Oh, I don't know about that.

I was like an $80 shot in my ass that I got. Well, maybe it's not as neat, but yeah, it's like penicillin. Those cellins are super cheap now. Some guy wrote a whole book false claims the tuskegee airmen by daniel l hallman say it again i looked up the i was curious about when you said your your friend was like not a fan of the tuskegee airmen which is such a

hilariously niche thing to to not be a fan. But yeah, there's a book here, False Claims About the Tuskegee Airmen, Daniel L. Hallman. I'm just reading his list here. I will address seven false claims about the Tuskegee Airmen. The false claim that the Tuskegee Airmen never lost a bomber. The claim that the Tuskegee Airmen was an ace with five aerial victory credits, but one of his aerial victories was reduced or taken away. The Falls claim that Tuskegee Airmen were the first American pilots to shoot down German jets. The Falls claim that Tuskegee Airmen sank a German destroyer by strafing alone. The Falls claim that Tuskegee Airmen were inferior to white pilots in combat. The Falls claim that

the 332nd Fighter Group significantly outperformed the other fighter groups the false claim that a tuskegee airman flew more combat missions than any other air force pilot or more combat missions as a fighter pilot in three wars than any other air force pilot man i stopped caring in the middle of that about i didn't see one of them was positive like the false claim that they were inferior yeah there was like a false claim that they were significantly better apparently they were just like everyone else my guess would be that this guy's like hey they're trying to myth like myth mythologize i guess the word would be like yeah like this group as if they were like the best of

the best and then there are other people who are like they were the worst of the worst and can you imagine how scary is that like oh yeah of course nobody can kill a battle you know ship with strafing alone or i guess maybe that's a common you imagine can you imagine you're a tuskegee airman you're flying out over the pacific how terrifying that must be terrifying yeah what if your plane goes down? Then you'd just drown. Mm-hmm. I wasn't following you for a while. You'd just sink beneath the waves, because what the fuck else could you do? Oh, I picked up when you dropped the plane down. It didn't even hit the ground. I caught it. Oh, no, no, no.

You know how long it took us to teach him to fly an airplane? We'd have to have a team to swim as well. That's like the kind of character they would put representing like a white major in a Hollywood movie now where there would be some mustache swirling evil evil despicable

some scoundrel man scoundrel is such a good word you think we're gonna go out there and find them? a black man in the blue ocean. Please, Nigel. I ought to guffaw at you. And I will begin guffawing.

Yeah. Well, I bet they were fine pilots. Seems like the guy in the show thus far. I am going to watch like second and maybe continue third, fourth episodes. I'll see what more there is. It's debuting, I think, as we speak. Fridays, I think new episodes

come out, is what I should say. There's five out currently. There'll be six out as most of you hear this. But I was awfully underwhelmed by the first episode. I had high hopes. I don't know. I kind of heard people and other shit that I watched talking about live streams and

streamers and stuff were talking about it. They liked it, but I didn't like it very much. I think I will not watch it then because neither of you have seen that in Fizz. Kyle said he values it being honest and realistic and it will just fail you in that regard. I'm not sure about

that. I'm literally not sure. I would suspect that it's based on historical stuff like the previous two entries were like like like directly taken from events like when those guys got lost and actually went to france like surely that happened like that would be a weird thing to just make up and put in there um i will say this greenland so that's a pretty wild thing to miss. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't have a map or anything. Maybe. The one guy got his face blown off, though. Like, dude looks over at his co-pilot, and his co-pilot's face has exploded from either shrapnel or maybe fighter strafing, because there's, like, fighters shooting at him. And that was gruesome. That was pretty fucking gruesome. It was CGI, but it looked awfully real. because there's fighters shooting at him. And that was gruesome. That was pretty fucking gruesome. It was CGI, but it looked awfully real.

It did that thing where the nose was blown off, so it looked like a skeleton nose, and all of his lips were gone. His mouth was shot out. It was real rough. I liked that. The thing about aviation warfare is the way it impacts the people is a little different they never see who they bomb and they never see their friends die right if you're in trenches then you're constantly seeing

the most gruesome gruesome stuff you're seeing people take their final breaths and it's impactful on your own like mood that mood in air warfare that doesn't happen they just sort of disappear like oh especially gone taylor just like he just landed too hard in a potato field somewhere and that's i guess that's it i just have to carry on and he just disappeared while i wasn't looking in this show everything is so like visit they're constantly losing one or two people out of the plane they're constantly like they really see all the damage that gets done and i'm like that just doesn't seem real that's not how it happens i don't know um i i just remember you know it's that famous picture i think is a b-17 that's shot full of holes and they were they were figuring out where they needed to add

armor um and they're like i wish it armored the parts with holes in it no no no those are the parts where a plane can be shot and return it's the other places that need the armor you're right and they were stupid but i could see myself being that level of stupid like like let's let's look and see where all the holes are it's not a stupid stupid idea yeah i mean they're made out of some thin-ass shit, you know? It's all just so... It has to be light or whatever. But

yeah, I would guess that a lot of it's historically based. I would hope so, certainly. Because that I don't care about the friendships at all. And that Buck and Bucky guy are just way too lame and gay for me. They're annoying the shit out of me.

The stars of the show are two gay guys? They are Captain Winters and the drunk friend. But gay. They're way too close. Yeah, they're way too close. Oh, okay. He gives him a bicycle first day. He's like, oh, you're going to need this here.

Everybody wants one. They can't get them. I got you one right here. People have been begging me for this bicycle. I've been holding it for you, Buck. He named him after himself. This is all true. He's like, my name's Bucky, and you're Buck.

Why am I Buck? You look like a guy I know named Buck. And so now it's Bucky and Buck. They're telling this to their girlfriends. I hate are like their girlfriends are like this is me and my love a friend by the way his real name it's roscoe no no no john no no no that's right gail gail that's what it is yeah little manly cool names it's a gail so yeah you got like the gate you got two gay dudes um flying flying across europe it sounds like a modern reality show honestly not gay oh he does bone a chick later okay there's nothing gay about

that we call it we call that a beard in europe well and here too yeah but they're in europe i maybe i'm uh misinterpreting the motivations of 1940s women but like these guys are here temporarily right and they very well may die in the next two months and then they have dances and they're just trying to bone the girls who go to the dances i'm like was there a hookup culture in 1943 to for women to just show up dances and fuck passing pilots and navigators and whatever i think the kind of women who went to that were like looked down upon in their community no like if you're like a french woman or something and you're like boning some american or some german woman like they'd probably be like oh

what the fuck you're being oh what these are we are not good enough i just have this idea that 1942 women didn't want relationships with no future oh they wanted that well i mean as soon as they got they were going to have a future they're banking on this guy right but i i know i i'm sure there's always been hookup culture right like that's how we got not like a story about that's how we got that made-up story about jesus whoa like mary mary clearly hooked up with watch it easy there easy tread carefully god wow fucking david or whatever his name was was out carpentering like mary clearly went off with ship the the herder

yahweh um and and like like that's the fact that that became the story that that we tell as christians or they tell as christians however, it's how far from the truth must they have twisted that they stuck with that one? Like, I feel like Jesus's mother was probably like the town pump or something like that. I think about in the world of like religions and mythology and all of that, like. You're being asked to believe a virgin birth in the in that world where they're like some other guy on another street corner is like we're living on a giant turtle in space like that like they're like i don't know i think the virgin birth guy is a little closer to to reality so like they weren, it wasn't an unbelievable thing to them. They were already

believing lots of stuff like that. It's interesting in Christianity that it's so important for this mom to have been a virgin, right? Like the best mom ever never even fucked anyone or something. And I wonder if the Bible wasn't that way, how it would have changed even current society, like would divinity be less valued, important? So you're misinterpreting what, it's a virgin birth, meaning a birth without consummation. She was not a virgin, nor is that implied. She was a man's wife. She was a married woman.

It's an audio book by a comedian that said otherwise. Ah, well, then he's wrong. Bill Byrne, noted theologian. Kyle Swishen from the Three Point Line here. You're right. Yeah, she was not a virgin. It was a virgin birth. That's a stupid thing.

It is a weird distinction. No, you're going to have to take that up with St. Peter. And then at the pearly gates. I'm going to do that. I'm going to get on my knees tonight. There's some old Jewish guys that, they're going to disagree with you strongly. And if you mess with them, they'll drag you down to do that. I'll get on my knees tonight. There's some old Jewish guys that they're going to disagree with you strongly. And if you mess with them, they'll drag you down to their holes.

They'll get you. You don't want to go get tortured with Satan for all eternity, do you? There's no way they filled in all the Jew holes. There's no fucking way. Somebody put a fucking, Hey, I noticed you've been filling in the Jew holes. We like them where they are.

Something happened. Somebody came along. We like them where they are. Something happened. Somebody came along. We didn't hear anything else about that. If there had been Mexicans burrowing beneath the streets of El Paso, there'd be a fucking six-week expose on that shit. But, oh, no, it's some Hasidic fellas burrowing in Brooklyn. No big deal. Don't look at that.

They're not mole people and anyone who says there are the mole king will have something to say about it yeah i mean i'm sure it would have blown over if you saw them pull that guy out of the ground taylor out of a sewer grate nonetheless they had torched a sewer grate he was a fucking modern day ninja turtle he was crawling through sewer grates and he was so skinny it was like a magic trick when he came out it it didn't look real it was all hair it's the way some people describe skinwalkers sometimes how they seem to be there and not be there at the same time sort of flesh but fluid changing metamorphosizing right before your eyes what was he before he got to the sewer grate down below?

What are they down below? What are they? Underground folks, clearly. Mole men. Yep, you live underground, you become a mole man. They've been living beneath New York for millennia. That's why the Native Americans sold it to us for such a pittance.

They're like, they said they would give us those glass beads and they would take the mole land and take upon them the curse of the mole man for all time. Oh, take the deal. Take the deal. That is a great deal.

He goes, I already did. He's got his beads around his neck. I am so sick of those mole guys trying to get me on a predatory loan. me on a predatory loan. Yeah. And that story disappeared pretty quick. Like whatever ended up happening.

Clearly there was nothing to see there. We all moved along. When you did like the Italian guy voice, I was laughing thinking about like an anti-Semitic Italian york guy who's like mad they found the tunnels because he wants to keep them there he's like it was a fucking fine thing we had worked out we stay on land where we belong they stay in the tunnels where they belong and now the fucking government's coming in telling them they can't be in their tunnels

and what does that mean for me it means now they're walking around in my fucking neighborhood with their goddamn hats on, spitting. Do they spit? No, Chinese people spit. That's what it is. Yeah. We haven't talked about the Trump verdict yet. The business fraud one? Yeah.

I think that'll probably get appealed. It's definitely going to get appealed. So I'm so far out of my depth. I'm not an expert on this stuff. They keep calling it a $355 million verdict, which it kind of is. But it came with about $100 million in interest. Because it's just, I don't know. I'm like, where did this interest come from?

If you just got the verdict, where's the interest? Well, the $355 million is meant to represent how much he underpaid in insurance and interest and shit like that. This is insane. I'm not arguing. That's what they came up with. And the $100 million is the interest because these

things happened sometime in the past. But what gets me is there's still interest accruing because he hasn't paid it. And it's 87,000 something a day. So it's a million bucks like every 11 and a half days or $31 million a year in interest on this thing. So I guess that was the baffling. The number is so big. A lot of times when you like the McDonald's suit member with the coffee,

the new verdict, very much lower. I'm guessing it'll be a very much lower verdict, but he will be guilty. I think we'll see. I wonder what he'll do when they, when they make him the leader of the land again, with all that power, when they've spent the last two,

three years dragging him through. The last three years dragging him through eight years under the last three years especially i wonder what this very easily offended juvenile like mean conniving cruel man will do when they when he becomes the most powerful person in the world in nine or ten months he's probably gonna get some payback that there's no way you could have me prosecute him or persecute him in some way there's no way you could put me on the team for that you saw they ruined that girl in georgia who's like they i'm sure there's some sort of trump private investigation team was like find it oh and it turns out that like she's got like

the guy on her payroll that she's sleeping with, and there's all this impropriety and trips they're going on, and money's moving that shouldn't. And it's like, oh, shit. Who's going to step up now and be the prosecutor against Trump? They don't have any cobwebs because that's the ball they're playing. That's the game they're playing. They really should leave him alone. They're about to make him the leader of the world and they're just really being mean to him. It would be like if Joffrey is about to be coronated and you know that he's

the scariest motherfucker ever. And you're like pissing in his wine, rough housing him, Indian burns and noogies. You're not going to do shit, Joffrey. Yeah. Seven kingdoms,

my ass bitch. And one to grow on one. Meanwhile, he's cranking Seven kingdoms my ass. Bitch. And one to grow on. He's cranking the crossbow in the corner. He's cranking the crossbow in the corner. We're about to literally give this guy... He's about to be a very powerful person. And he's

at the end of his life. Okay? Like, leave him alone. Leave him alone. Leave him alone. I think you told me. I really do think you're right that he has a really good shot at winning. Like, at this point. I'm equally confident he's going to lose. But I wonder which one of us is right.

One of us will be. That's why we play the games, boys. That's the beauty of it. We get the pontificate and pour over it for these months ahead of it. I love it. It's my favorite thing. I don't like politics at all. I don't care about Senate bullshit, bureaucracy, nonsense.

I don't think the wheels are meant to not turn so that we never turn them too far one way or the other. It's meant to be a big rusty machine. That's how republics stand the test of time. That's why I don't think the U.S. is going to fail because it's so hard for us to turn those wheels any direction too hard. But Trump could be Emperor Trump because he's not like most of the bureaucrats we usually have who genuinely seem to bleed red, white, and blue. Trump bleeds green. I don't think Trump and his pro-elected officials do not bleed red, white, and blue. I think some of them do. Some of those guys, especially

the ones who were in the especially like the ones who like were in the military it's the ones who like signed up for for that sort of public service you know and like i don't know there there are true believers still not everyone is is is like you know just in it for themselves i i do believe that i believe there's there's i mean i think the vast majority of them are in it for themselves if i were to draw a trend my both is that the new people tend to be like red white and blue and for america and that the position corrupts you over time i think that's fair too because like there's no way to look at like a chuck schumer or a lindsey graham and be like yeah that guy cares about the american people it's like no

they're reprehensible scumbags and they will serve whoever their current pay lord is i think if you're in there and you're watching your colleagues gather wealth and it's normalized and everyone's like listen you know you just get paid to vote the way you would go into anyway what's wrong with that yeah i bet you're a hundred percent right like that's how it's easy to rationalize that as you're like well ever i mean nancy pelosi's worth 300 million and this guy's worth 300 million and i can't be the only poor person here right like everybody's worth 85 million minimum and we make 170 grand a year what i'm gonna be living in a real house i'm gonna live in an apartment in dc on 170 on $170,000? Yeah, pish posh. I hate to hear

people complain about making $187,000 a year. I think that's what house a rep is. If not, it's close to that. But I'm told that in D.C., that actually is not a very great living. You know, if you need to get an apartment in D.C. because you're actually going to the capital

all the time, then rent, cost of living, et cetera, 187 is not at all rich there. You know, I could couch my bet here and bet on Joe Biden because it's plus 250. Only a 24.47% chance here of him winning the election, according to this. It's based on bet MGM.

There's no way Biden is the pick that runs. There's no way they will put somebody else in who's better and more popular. I try to catch myself and be like, ah, that's just MAGA fools running up one side. So they made the odds favor Biden money. But I'm like, what do you just you want some more copium to snort just admit that like people wouldn't put that much money on bad bets right that they must think it's a good bet yeah yeah i imagine so like they i just i'm sticking with my early pick from like almost a year ago i think they're gonna biden will bow out because he's just too fucking old

and he's very unpopular and they're going to bring a charismatic young guy who's very good on the mic like gavin newsom when when yeah it would have to be pretty soon but i can't even produce the commercials for a new candidate in time like like like oh my god it's time like we're about to get into the heart of this thing like we're going right in the old days president chosen in primaries they were selected by the convention i suppose they still are technically right now at the convention they cast their votes right the delegates or whatever i'm actually not sure how it works on the primary level maybe i don't know because i remember like

i'm basing my knowledge on boardwalk empire when they have that oh with that thing where they just keep redoing the recount and then they pick the other guy to be the the guy but i don't know how real politics works just just movie politics i've seen the west wing three times all the way through i know quite a bit yeah so you pretty knowledgeable. I'm basically a Supreme Court justice's aide. That's the level of knowledge that I possess. I've seen volleyball. I know sports.

It's like I live on Capitol Hill and work there. That's the level. I have close personal contact with Supreme Court's justice. You know the entire I'm Just a Bill song? You've sung it to me? I know the hook. you know the entire I'm Just a Bill song? You've sung it to me? I know the hook. I know the hook. That is true.

You return to the chorus a lot. That's not my song. I know that other one. That other one that goes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Dude, I learned so much from that one. 12! The little echoing

kid voice. Oh, man. Did you know that Israel's still beating up that guy outside the bar? Israel? Did you know Israel's still beating up that poor guy outside the bar that offended them back in October?

Israel Adesanya? No, the still beating up that poor guy outside the bar that offended them uh back in october israel the no the nation of israel the home of oh the way you said israel beat someone up outside of a bar i was like oh another mma yeah yeah because i was in the middle of a u.s funded genocide and we have a nation of people who just collectively agreed to stop looking we just vetoed the just like something we just vetoed something at the un against israel too we did what russia and china always do when like iran or north korea go rogue and you hear about you're like run cover china vetoed it for iran you're like what the fuck why don't they see the iranians are evil and then now here israel is like day 472 of israel's defensive bombing campaign a two and a half year old could have been a bomb she was dressed like a frog maybe in her pajamas today we destroyed

she exploded when we hit her it's a huge red mist. She was loaded with C4 or something. I don't know. Dude, some of the clips you see coming out of there are reprehensible. Really? Like, fucking horrid, horrid stuff. Yeah, it's awful. My propaganda antennae are way up, and it just makes me not know anything. Like, I will see a bombing and be like,

bro, no, that was the Beirut fertilizer thing. Like, I can't be sure I can be a Nolan movie yeah I I'm so suspicious of every piece of information I see come out of is that Arma to dude

how much Arma footage has been shown and told that it was Ukraine I wonder if that game got more popular as a result of that people were like oh my god this is so awesome so as you know i swore off walking dead long ago um i watched it with my lady friend a while back up until like i watched my favorite season with her when she got there i jumped in it's terminus i like the terminus season uh with the cannibals that should have been late season later in the show that was some dark stuff um and then when we got to negan i bow out i don't i don't, I don't know.

I don't want to see anymore. Um, but I think they're going to pull me back in. What do you, have you seen the previews for this Rick and Michonne show? Uh, yes. And I think Dixon's already out,

but I'm not sure. Yeah. So here's what they did, Taylor. They took walking dead and they took like the three, they split it into three and they made three new shows. They made a show with Maggie and Negan and then they made a show with Daryl Dixon. Now they're making a show with Michonne and Rick and Michonne is trying to find Rick.

Maybe she's finding breadcrumbs as she explores. I don't know what city it is, but it's a major city. Rick has joined some sort of new world government. They're like, we're the most powerful military on the planet. They've got helicopters and uniforms. I guess Rick is... It seems pretty good, right?

Honestly, not only that, the scope looked big. I want to insert this the last two seasons of walking dead michonne was searching for rick so storyline consistent i watched like i'm pretty sure all of the regular show and i was oh i i think i really stopped paying attention the last couple seasons entirely left like it didn't they jump forward in time rick is he's not around the last couple seasons right true yes yeah then that's when i totally tuned out and was like this sucks negan's like a bitch now and doesn't really do anything and he oscillates between like repentance

and a very disinterested desire to go back to his old ways but it's not like a desire like i wanted to see him go back to being hardcore you didn't watch the very end did you i must not have yeah okay yeah and towards the very end he just becomes sort of a member of the community and he's a good warrior so he's he you know saves your favorite character here and there okay yeah um so yeah i might actually be pulled back to it one thing that just further cements how awful Call of Duty is now, I saw that Rick and Michonne are playable characters in Call of Duty. It's like, what are y'all doing? Nobody must be showing up to fucking shoot people on shipment anymore.

You can't get them in there with a pink M16 anymore. As Peter Griffin, and they've got Rick and Michonne. It's a big drop off what if they got would you play as uh would you play as homer would that would that kind of tempt you like i'm gonna do a little no it wouldn't tempt me either i i've swayed so far the other way with the tarkov thing like i really enjoy uh the survivor the survival aspect to games in general. I like that I got to feed my character and water him and that maybe like if I get a broken leg, then I can't just wait in a corner for 10 seconds and then just keep going like I got a broken leg.

We're going to figure this out. I like those aspects of the game and I like the weapon modification and Tarkov is really fun. I know COD does an OK job, but man, they go crazy in Tarkov. They're always adding new stuff. That's kind of what I like. It's two or three things combined that I like. I wouldn't play it if there wasn't loot.

If you weren't going in there and sneaking around and opening crates and be like, oh, here's a thing. Here's a shiny thing. If that didn't happen, I wouldn't play it just to shoot. There's too much fast like the the inventory just looks draining and it looks tedious it's a skill it's a part of as much as it's a skill to like shoot somebody or follow a target with your with your uh your crosshair it's a skill to jump on a body open it up and quickly inventory manage and and while you're

doing that taylor obviously you're doing a price check instantaneously where you're like each slot you want to be as much money as possible because you've got maybe just your bag holds 20 slots you want each of those slots to carry as much money so you're just taylor were you talking about the stash or like in the raid both. Probably both. I would look over and see them streaming, and it would be just a huge amount of reordering and backstacking. I think Taylor's talking about stash management, and Kyle's talking about efficient looting, which is a skill.

I mean, stash management's just a fucking skill. People don't know how to do that. It looks so boring. It's boring, but imagine it was like I dumped whatever, $275,000 in small bills on your bed and you were tasked with organizing it. Would you be bored? Like that's what organizing your stash in Tarkov has the same vibes. Like, oh, I'm going to have to manage all these awesome weapons, expensive night scopes and gold Zippo lighters. It's your money yeah well i can

see how you could enjoy that i just i like it it's too tedious that part of it like i wish some if i had a servant who came in before i got on and spent an hour doing that i would certainly have manfred that would be his name i would have Manfred going in there and like, Manfred, go organize my stash, flea market all of my weapon parts, and vendor my goods, but none of the task items. And if you make a mistake, there will be a record. If I could do that, I would.

Because I don't love doing it. So then it's not fun, that part of it. It's tedious. It's monotonous. But it's part of the game. And so I don't mind doing it i don't hate doing it but i would rather not do it i suppose uh but it's part of the game it's a multi-faceted game with lots of grind everything's grindy like that every aspect of that game is shitty and grindy like that i like multiplayer i've realized like single player games

i'm good with that kind of thing like it can be fun like skyrim like i always use that as an example because that's the most fun one like it's great but how many daggers like multiplayer games i really want to have it so it's like every game is a new thing so like call of duty style age of empire style like you open up the game you start a new lobby you kick off at the end of the game, you start a new lobby, you kick off. At the end of the game, you're not bringing anything with you. You restart on the next one. I've enjoyed both. One thing I liked about Left 4 Dead

is everybody was even. It doesn't matter if you have 10,000 hours in game or it's your first one. Your characters are identical. It doesn't matter which character you choose. They're all the same. Same hitboxes, same everything. And that just felt fair. So you go in and you have even fights and fair is fun right tarkov is not fair not fair in the slightest i i can be much better than another guy who's better equipped and lose and

vice versa and every so often if you're way better equipped you lose to someone who got lucky or is a hacker maybe and uh uh something about that not fair fuck you aspect is surprisingly fun too there's no there's no limitation you know there's there's no like hey don't do that that wouldn't be cool it's like would we do it in real life well in real life it'd be you know we're killing each other in foxholes with knives oh that sounds awful yeah you can do that too. You can, you can do,

you can beat people's death with hatchets. You can, you can do all sorts of fun things. It's a mean, nasty, nasty game just because of a lot of things. I ruined a guy's night for sure. The other night he was doing,

I for sure I did. There's a task that makes you go to a map at night and plant two very expensive pieces of armor. It takes 30 seconds. You have to sit there and it goes 30, 29, 28, 27, and you're planting them. They're two, two, they're very expensive pieces of armor. It takes 30 seconds. You have to sit there and it goes 30, 29, 28, 27.

And you're planting them. They're very expensive, both of them. I don't want to buy them and then go in and somebody kills me and I lose them. I killed the guy who was doing it. I took them and I planted them for my own. It was so... It ruined his night. It had to. It had to.

Did you hear him? Is this the factory mission? It's on interchange where you have to plant two gazelles, which is the type five nice armor out by the musician stage. It's a scary task to do by yourself. If you've got a squad, everybody watches your back. Yeah, Kyle's planting his thing. Watch out. But when you're by yourself and the crickets are chirping out there

and the scavs are jabbering, it's real scary. Something about interchange. If you hear a squad, like if I hear a squad on woods or shoreline i might go for it maybe i can take two and then it's only 1v2 or 1v1 yeah if i hear a squad in interchange i'm hiding behind a cash register or something yeah it's been a really fun wipe um they changed they took the snow away um i think that's i don't like that i missed the snow but i'm still just having a ton of fun did the community hate the snow or community loved the snow it was just meant to be seasonal though i i suppose uh there's no snow in february in russia

i'm sure there probably is i don't know oh that's the other thing i did that i thought was a little bit funny so i switched my servers to russian servers because i wanted to take the war to them oh and so like i'm like i'm in whenever somebody talks to me i just i just scream slava ukraine then they probably target you right well we're already in a fucking gunfight what are we gonna do be mean about it? I'm going to shoot you twice. What's Slava Ukraine? I don't know. It's like... Long live? I think it's victory. It's what the Ukrainians are always fucking screaming in their promo vids and their propaganda and shit, right?

You watch a bunch of Russian tanks explode and then some hot blonde goes, Slava Ukraine! Glory to Ukraine. Slava Ukraine. Slava. That means glory i guess glory google says so well i think google wouldn't fib to us no no we trust our tech overlords we trust them i i how do you even play with russians is the connection all shitty he chooses about 150 ping 170 ping i don't mind like i feel like i get pretty rough it's generally generally in that game i don't i don't know i

don't notice it too bad like i'm okay i'm real fucking good taylor you don't understand like first of all all right so half the time the person that you're that you're running into is scared i have found and timid about it and the other half it's the opposite and their aggression if i if i if the way they move and the way that they give me audio cues that i can tell this is an aggressive badass i can hear a chat and tell it because they're doing certain like movements they're like i can tell by the way they're wiggling around they drop their fucking bag right away. So they're light and nimble. It's like this dude likes to fuck and he knows how.

But then there's the guy where you both enter each other's audio range and he goes all sneaky. And then be like, yo, you over there? He didn't say anything. And I hear him like pull his gun up and aim because he's scared. He's just like hoping I don't come around the corner. I'm going to start yelling at that guy and then voiping in game and throwing shit at him and rattle his nerves.

I can't remember which UFC fighter it was, but he was talking about overloading somebody's nervous system with feints. He was talking about just giving them a lot to deal with. Maybe George St. Pierre was talking about doing it. He's like, I know every time I faint,

he's going to react. And your nervous system, it can only take so much of that. It can only do that, operate at that high level where you're twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch for a few seconds. You're an athlete, maybe a minute. So I just keep giving it to him, keep giving it to him. And he's peaked.

His brain is running at 1,000%. Hunt, kill mode, hunt, kill mode. But after a while, that's taxing for your brain. You can't do it. And I'm a Lays build. Then I strike. And so I know for me when I play that game, when I hear that chat coming, or maybe his buddies are with him too,

and they've already started talking shit about what they're going to do to me. Hey, buddy, coming for that ass. And I hear somebody go, come here pussy boy. I'm scared. Because they've already made it personal. And so it's going to be like, I know that they mean business. They're not going to Gigi.

They're about to deliverance you. They're going to be mean about this. So like my hands start shaking. I get an adrenaline dump because I know that if I beat them now, then I can talk a little shit because they can hear like the last. And when they die, they can hear for a little bit longer.

They can? Yeah. They'll be dead, but they'll hear me. Fuck you, pussy. I know because I hear it a lot. I'm dying out here. Pussy. But I can hear relief.

I can hear relief in their voices so often. They're so glad that I died and they didn't. That's the nature of the fucking game. relief i can hear relief in their voices so often they're so glad that i died and they didn't like that's the nature of the fucking game because if you die it's that 20 minute wait to get back here again between the lobby and that stash you hate so much and all the other yeah i did not expect i didn't expect it to be so long of a wait period to get in the game like you play like 10 games a day if you're really going at it and grinding you play like 10 games games a day. Cause the games can be up to 40 minutes each. First of all,

like it could be, it can be 10 minutes or 40 minutes. It's up to you how long you stay in. But sometimes you just get in a situation where you're like, Oh my God, I only got five minutes left. Cause the shit it's, it's like a little war movie every time.

If you really role play with it and you got a squad and you start in and you role play a little bit, then it becomes this Saving Private Ryan story where maybe Woody's pinned down under the windmill. I've got to get Woody! You're running and there's fucking machine guns and there's tracers flying and stuff

and you're like the Saving Private Ryan guy is now Forrest Gump. Even worse your best friend Woody is in trouble. And then I'm ben stiller in the field getting gunned down gunfights could last a minute or so but like i don't know oftentimes there's a sort of a cold gunfight i'll call it like i know you're there you know i'm there and now we're both trying to make sure that when the fight starts, we have the advantage that can last very long,

even like 20 minutes. And because of that, if you have friends like somewhere else on the map and your squad, maybe they're doing their own mission. Maybe they're like, Hey, I was going to go check gas station for loot. You go do what you were going to do.

We'll meet later. You can say, Kyle, I'm struggling here. I think this guy's there and I'm here. You know, can you third man in? And that can't

happen in cod 4 cod anything you know at best you can say i maybe hit him once before he got me he's one shot the arena mode for tarkov too now which is basically it's like counter-strike rounds you know you just go you rinse and repeat rinse repeat live live kill die live kill die over and over and that's fun too but i just enjoy the grind of it and so it'll be boring and then it'll be exciting out of nowhere i heard someone refer to it as call of duty as homogenous gaming how you're constantly at this like seven out of ten there's always a crazy war going on right here right fucking now and if you die, you're 10 steps from being right back in the thick of things. And it just stays like that.

Always just like that. And a game like Tarkov or DayZ, even more so. DayZ is incredibly heterogeneous in that you've got, you might be in there for two hours without seeing another person. And you've just been killing deer and farming. seeing another person and you've just been killing deer and farming and then suddenly there's three murderous men there with machine guns and night vision and one's got a bat and they're saving you for him like it can just it just happens they're saving you for the batman they're bringing out the bear jew hey donnie got a naz here who wants to die for his country. Oblige him.

So how far are you away from the turnoff of Tarkov? Man, I'm closer to the end than I am to the beginning. I'm close enough to Kappa and Lighthouse that I'm kind of like, just keep on keeping on. Definitely could get to Light lighthouse with Lightkeeper, is what I mean to say. There's a seventh trader in the game, Taylor, that you only unlock very far down the quest line.

I've certainly never unlocked it. I hear people describe it as, if you had a job or school or anything, if you don't do this for a living, you don't get to do Lightkeeper. What the fuck? Because there's these five-month wipe cycles wipe cycles and again you start back over again wait so how much longer is this wipe cycle probably another three to probably another three months minimum um and it could be

plus or plus two months maybe do you kind of lose motivation as it's going then because you're like well if i get to kappa or whatever i would only have that for three weeks or whatever and um that's so yeah that's actually one of the reasons i've never really gone hard in the paint for kappa is because what kappa gives you is a bigger secure container that that safe container that you can put things in and keep even if you die and the purpose of of that is, oh, I can store valuables in there that I find in the raid and counterbalance the loss that I take when I die. But by the time you get to Kappa, you have so much goddamn money that the idea of keeping three more things secure in your container

is just like this luxury of luxuries. It's a cherry on top of a cherry on top of a hat wearing a hat it's like i didn't need i needed that so long ago day one i needed that when i when bandages were gold dairy when i couldn't stop when i was bleeding and i couldn't do anything about it because i didn't have any money for band-aids you're like then i needed a secure container but by the end you don't you're just so rich i want the game to become more hardcore i want it to become like pastilli does like so rich i want the game to become more hardcore i want it to become like pastilli does like hardcore mode i want the flea market done away with and i want

the get the the secure container to be an alpha container and you'd have to earn bigger containers why not just play it the way pastilli does then well i've already started this way and it seems silly to punish myself without an audience i feel like i would need people watching if i was going to do a hardcore playthrough and i gotta say like it could be so i've been watching stilly do it taylor and it seems damaging to his psyche it seems like it's he like it's it's it's really bumming him out because what what is hardcore mode like your character's more vulnerable more no maintenance it's self-imposed rule set where you don't... Oh, it's not a game mode. No. He's playing

with everybody else on a different playing field. Basically, continuously in the game, you need little doodads or whatnots to complete a quest, to build something in your hideout, or to do even a barter trade so that you can acquire goods.

There might even, there's a quest that says modify an AK-74U to these specifications. Now for me, I'd click flea market, type in AK-74U, buy one for 30,000,

drag it into my stash, figure out what all the doodads that need to go on it are, buy them, put it on it. Pastilli can do none of that. Pastilli has to find an AK-74U out in the world of tarkov hopefully and then he's got to bring it back and then he's got to go back into the world of tarkov and oh look this is the grip this is the grip you need oh we got to get out so suddenly everything he finds is incredibly valuable because you need so

many things i just go in that flea market and go, wires? How many do I need? 15? Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, and I buy 15 wires. He has to find 15 fucking wires. And if he dies while he's carrying seven because he looted a bunch of PCs and got lucky, it's heartbreaking because that's going to take so much longer

to find seven more wires. It's miserable. And there are more things that make it even more punishing like other self-imposed things. It's miserable. And there are more things that make it even more punishing, like other self-imposed things. It's miserable to play like that. So when I start Tarkov, like if I were to begin this wipe, it would give me, I'm making this up, but like seven guns,

a hundred little med kit post-it note type things and more. He throws all that away. He starts off just like with nothing and has to build up from there. Of course, he doesn't use his secure containers, so every time he dies, he loses everything.

I put things in my secure container, like a surgery kit. It's kind of expensive, and I use it again and again, and you keep it in there. He can't do that. These rules make it really hard, and no one else is following these rules, so he's at a disadvantage. Vavity has been trying to do this quest all week i think he just completed it's called setup you have to go

on one particular map you have to wear a ushanka hat it's the ear flap russian hat you have to wear a dirty vest with very few pockets so you can't have lots of magazines and you have to use a shotgun to kill players 15 players for for vavity who's been struggling with it for like a week and a half or something like that just it's been miserable every time he needs a new shaka he just goes and buys one he clicks by but still he has to go find another goddamn shaka in the world before he can even attempt the very hard thing to do you know what i mean so every time he loses that kit with the scab vest and the shotgun the shotgun he has no way of acquiring those three items that are just the basis of beginning a quest that you need to do. It sounds awful.

It's awful. None of that sounds fun. It's so hard. I wish everybody had to play in that manner, and it would be a really good game. The other thing about setup that I love is what you want to do is you want to do tasks like setup where you kill a player wearing a stupid fucking hat and no armor and whatever um you want to do that early when everyone else is still broke and they're using shitty guns etc now vomiting is bumping into kyle's what are you level 45 something like that 42 43 40 yeah yeah that's high kyle's rich he's not like bill gates rich yet but he's like i got 45 mil that's pretty rich right so kyle can

have any kid he wants and then volvity runs and there's kyle all like fucking m4 a fully auto great armor proper helmet and volvity's in there with a p shooter trying to beat that he needed to fight kyle back when he was level three then he would have had an easier time i enjoy that frankly i like the uphill battle of starting late. And it gets rid of this thing that is inherent in my personality with gaming. And this is how you play Rust, by the way, Taylor. On Rust, there's like a pistol in the air,

go moment for the beginning of a new wipe. And those wipes are weekly. So today was the wipe. This morning at like 11 a.m. or something, like maybe 5 p.m., all of Rust that's on the regular service, wiped. Today was the wipe. This morning at like 11 a.m. or something, like maybe 5 p.m., all of Rust that's on the regular servers wiped. And then everybody's sitting there refreshing,

trying to get into their server of choice, like with all their buddies. Are you in? No. Are you in? No. Because they're waiting for the server to come back up. We've already gone to a special website that lets you vote on what the next map is going to be like. We've already picked where

we're going to live on the map because we know what the map's like before it's even generated. And it's boom, go. Everybody's naked on a beach with a rock and nothing else. And I mean, everybody, 400 people, and we're all just running and screaming. And some people are apes. So they just want to hit people with rocks or they want to run and make a spear immediately and poke naked people. Why would you not? Because we have a plan plan we're all going to like this part of the map we're we need to coordinate get going get the ball rolling because everybody has it sticks and stones today but tomorrow it'll be semi-automatic rifles if we work hard oh there's no like archery sword phase there is that's day one like like day one is archery and it's almost all

archery see like i the way you describe rust i could see myself giving it a go when you get back into rust i'll play something with you but yeah it's tarkov even the way you describe it it seems hellish no i wouldn't do that very little. You need to enjoy not only military-style simulation shooters, but also survival games and stuff like that. It's an interesting combination of games. Yeah, I don't like having to feed or water a character. I know there's a hardcore Skyrim mode where it's like, do you want to have to fucking feed yourself cheese wheels and shit?

Your horse too. It's like, no, no, I do not. I want to get as to the paralysis spell as fast as I can and then run around paralyzing entire cities. That's what I want to do.

Yeah. I've, I've only played AOE two for like months now. That's the only game I've played. I'm in operation trick viper or harrah to be friends with me so i can go from terrible to marginal have you tried asking him to be your friend yeah i did viper did reply to me and so maybe i can maybe i can parlay that hey will you teach me i know that you've that you're probably playing this game nonstop.

How about you play with my retarded ass so you can give me basic shit? Like, no, that's not how you lure a boar dummy. You do it this way. Like, just little basic things that you can help me with. That would be good. I watch so much of his and Hera's content. Like, that's all I've been watching on YouTube is trying to get better, trying to improve. I love doing that with a game.

I love trying to improve and learn all the tidbits it's like all right i'm click now i'm clicking as fast as i'll ever click maybe i could learn like a better way to stand though or a better way to like hide behind a box oh they can't see me if i'm behind this box but i can i'll never forget that now i'm a little better i'm a little better now yeah I like that phase of gaming. It never ends with some games. Yeah, with this one, it certainly doesn't. But just improving on little things.

Like, oh, there's a trick that I never thought of on how to micro archers. That's way more effective. That's great. I'm going to incorporate that. Then you work at it, you kind of suck at it, and you get competent, and now suddenly your archer plays way better. The eco's tough. and you get competent and now suddenly your archer plays way better like it's the eco's tough to

they constantly are doing balance changes on the civs to try and keep them semi like balanced because there's 45 of them so it's easy for one to get more powerful or less and so like in the 8 month phase I didn't play it at all between last year and this year

like when I popped back in and looked at the civs it's like oh that's new oh that's not what it was oh that's been nerfed that's been buffed and so it's like relearning a lot of it so i need to really it's like figuring out some core builds that can apply to a lot but even that is tough i got so frustrated my uh my brother joined because me and my brother and a lot of our buddies play on Discord. And my brother became a patron of Hera to get his custom high-level build orders. And then he sent a couple to me, and I printed them out. And I'm going to become a Hera. And now you're distributing them on the internet for money.

No, I'm distributing them for free. No, for a price. For a price. It's part of our Patreon now. I'm going to, for a price. It's part of our Patreon now. I'm going to join Harris. It's part of our Patreon now. You get Harris build orders when you go to patreon.com.

It's the $1 level. Why not? I mean, come on. The new Civ, the Georgians, has a different start. They have a mule cart for resource drop-off, and so they don't have to go to wood very early it's very big hearing this yeah and he has this build order and i watched a video of him do it i've watched the video like three times he's like guys it's perfect it's easy it's the simplest build order ever look how early the 17 population scout rush is look at how smooth the dark age can be. And I'll watch it. And it's like grizz mode where I'm like, yeah, it is easy, Hera. You're right.

And then I go and I try it and I'm like, oh, I don't know. I just got to feudal age. I don't have enough wood for a stable. Everybody's bumping into each other. It's not working correctly. And so I like try to modify it in a Google doc where I'm like, okay, have you gone? Clearly Hera's build is too clean for my ass, so we're going to add a wood guy here. Maybe that'll cover my mistakes a bit. No, it doesn't. It's very frustrating. Have you gone down the path yet of looking at your

favorite players or good players' hardware? Being like, maybe his mouse is the trick. Or maybe, what kind of monitor is he on? How big is Hera's monitor? Maybe I've got, maybe my monitor is too big. I'm looking around too much. See, the thing with it is for me, you can...

The monitor's the wrong side. That's the difference between me and Landmark. It's $1,000 monitor. I got the world's monitor here. If I got 200 frames per second, I'd be Landmark. And his ear has sets different. Seemingly, they play on a harder mode than i do because like i play a little more zoomed out than them which i

guess like makes mouse clicking accuracy more difficult but if you can see more of your map a little bit it makes it easier to kind of plan out when you watch their videos they're like default all the way zoomed in because they want because they're only moving around the map with hotkeys anyway. You disable mouse smoothing in your settings so you get accurate clicks, Taylor. Yeah, well, I don't know about that. I don't know if that's going to be the fucking difference maker in my play.

I'm way better than I was last year. I'm way better. Imagine next year. We'll be in the attorneys. Tell me more about your chair. You'll be wearing a fucking shirt you'll be wearing like a sponsored shirt to get to the gaming awards yeah i get invited just get absolutely butt fucked by anyone no when you go to north korea you're gonna fucking take on

qingping the fucking aoe2 master see they never got aoe3 or 4 there because north korea but they've got aoe see that's the thing north korea but they've got a a see that's the thing nobody plays aoe two has always been the national sport of north korea we just didn't know it and you're the great white hope we're sending you we're sending you in because the way the way the tournament works they get to pick any of our players and you just barely meet the accreditation you're like a rocky balboa scenario this is the movie that we're gonna that i'm making it's gonna be great that'd be good like it would be so embarrassing to play against someone who's really good any rts this will happen but particularly starcraft age of empires the complex

uh economy based like like i could get thrown in a cod lobby with like really good players and i'm not going to go oh and 20 i'm gonna get a couple kills. I'm going to get a couple kills. Like, I'm going to get a couple... I could luck into a kill with a grenade. I could luck into it. If I get into a game with, like... I know I'd have a hard time killing Landmark. ...an AoE2, like, there's no chance I do anything. I think if me and Landmark played, like, 1v1s on Arena,

I would never kill him. Really? I don't, I would never kill him. Really? I don't think I would ever kill him. Unless I did something cheesy and hid and laid and just hoped he walked and he just happened to walk where he's supposed to. Build every pocket with grenades

and just launch. Oh, he'd love that. He'd push me. He'd hear the pin and, Tarkov's different. He'd hear the pin and he would be in my pocket. I don't think I could ever kill Landmark. I don't think so. They're just watching.

Those guys are so fast and so accurate and they know how to play. Those guys with 10,000 fucking hours. Yeah. 10,000 real hours too. That's the thing about Facili we were talking about the other day. He has 12,000 hours in Tarkov. Shit. A lot of people spend tons of time doing that inventory management shit or just shooting the shit waiting on their buddies to get their gear on he has spent an

enormous percentage of those 12 000 hours not just playing by himself but playing by himself in the most speedy efficient manner possible because he's the best at that he's he's like continuously racing toward kappa with people over the years are doing like self-imposed like challenges that involve him playing lots and speedily so he has 12 000 real fucking hours at that game and that doesn't count his other he's got another account i guess where like um he didn't know it's 12 000 streamed hours it's 12 000 streamed hours i think he said good gosh dude i watched a video of of crazy do you know how many hours you're eating people six four thousand one hundred or so i i also have a really high number but i'm sorry i cut you off taylor but does it mean anything a lot of my hours are just i'm not even at the computer and my hideout is like making money for me and i i just walk

into the room slide some things out slide some things in and leave and it just keeps running and i do that like if i were to look at my account i bet my aoe2 is off the charts just from leaving it on overnight i had like thousands of hours in warhammer 2 for like hundreds of hours like a lot probably a thousand from just leaving it on on a laptop for months at a time like i forgot i had it open after i thought yeah the power bill i was about to get there like i think to myself you know I'm using real electricity to light these lights in my hideout. And farm bitcoins. You're farming fake bitcoins with a real GPU.

Yes. I mean, that's pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah. I genuinely, when I get off Tarkov, I'm like, let me kill this game because i don't know how much power it uses frankly my electricity bill is always so shockingly low that i'm like i better not look into this too much i remember my dad had these water bills for years that were way too low at his farm and it was there was a they were looking at the wrong meter it's what was happening

and we didn't know what was happening we just knew something was happening and i feel like that's happening with my electricity right now it's like it's so fucking cheap but nonetheless this pc runs so hot playing tarkov this whole room i opened the window in the coldest of nights when it's you wouldn't believe this taylor like 30 fucking degrees here so it's got to be it's got to be like using a lot of electricity you yours does too though you've got a 30 fucking 90 over there that thing 40 90 oh that's what i mean 40 90 i've got the 40 80 dude it runs aoe2 like a dream no shit i could run it i could i could get 20 monitors and run 20 of them how's it run

mine sweeper taylor how's how's solitaire i bet that one i bet when you win solitaire and he goes there's no frame drop at all not at all powers right when you win in age of empires a huge amount of embers come across the screen when it says victory and there's a mod because some people's pcs can't handle the embers and there's a mod called no embers i'm embering loud and proud now sometimes the wind you don't get them on losses and that happens a lot but those embers come in on a victory feels good that's another reason why i'm hesitant to play certain games indie games sometimes is like this these these computers are expensive and i and i feel like i should be doing for expensive stuff it'd be like having a big old john deere front-end loader and like getting it out and like doing some

bullshit tasks like this this thing needs to run it's like it's having that belgian malinois all cooped up not not killing things and biting people when you're ready to play rust i'm down to play as long as our deal's still on that you download the aoe2 i gifted you a month ago and we play a little bit of that ah that was the wrong account you gifted clearly it wasn't i didn't get that message in the middle of the night i bet if i check my email i could find that and it's like kyle has declined your gift i definitely didn't decline it. I'm sure I accepted it, but that would be funny.

It'd be a good time. You would have so much fun because you're really good at picking up games. You do this every time. You're really bad at manipulating me to play this game. You always say the same, but you're really good at this, Kyle. You'll be so good at it. Everybody's going to be like, wow, Kyle's a natural.

It's because I'm not trying to manipulate you. I want to play a game with my friend. You played this game? It's manipulation nonetheless. There's good manipulation. There's that thing that mothers do where it's like, where's my big strong man at? You going to school today to be a big boy? My goodness. You're so big. Look at you.

Look at you, you little hoss. You're just pumping and shining the wheels a little bit. You're my big strong RTS player. I bet you'd have the most APM. Like, it'd be crazy. Everybody'd be like, how does he click so fast? It's that trigger finger, I bet. If you got in there with my friends and I even heard,

if I even got a sniff that one of my friends was like rushing you on one of your first games, I'd be like, hey, shut that down. None of that. I don't want any of you to even see kyle's base until imperial age let him tee off i'd be at my base and i'd be like oh no kyle's attack oh you like foster bad habits though right like well this game's cool yeah if i know anything about aoe you're simity for the first 18 minutes. SimCity for the first.

Yeah. But you'll lose if you just SimCity. That's what it's called. I'm not going to have fun at all. But wait, I feel like if you SimCity in preparation for a fight and you avoid fights for that long, you're in a very good spot, right?

Yes. But like the goal early game is to attack early so they can't set up and so like the best defense is a good offense like if i'm playing on the same level like kyle wants to get to castle age and boom so i need to keep him from doing that and by having stuff running around his base he can't interfere with mine i'm sure you're right but it's why i didn't like civilization it's like i just want a sim city for like an hour or so you guys aren't on the same page why are you rushing me with these horse people if you're like playing with like

buddies like i like i'm better than a lot of my friends i play with and so because what do you made a purple garden in front of your castle and i wanted to see it burn like i i don't i don't rush my buddies goals actually i rushed my younger brother a lot because he's also like he's about as good as i am and so like we'll fuck with each other but one of the i won't like fuck with a friend who's picking it up one of the core things about civ 5 multiplayer was you can press tab and you go into this convoluted menu system and you can see everybody's military score. You can see, oh,

we're all the same. No need for me to build anything. I can continue to SimCity. I can focus on mausoleums and shit. As soon as you see someone's military score start really going up, you'll usually ask them, hey, your score went up. What'd you build? Oh, it actually got they

gifted me a tri-ring don't worry about it oh understandable that makes sense so what you do taylor is let's say it takes eight turns to build a samurai you put seven turns into a samurai you stop building now you start building a chukunono or whatever a chikono or i can't remember what is that it's the uh chukunu the the crossbow that shoots twice those take five turns put four into it yeah china especially in nao so you keep doing that you keep switching to like a different thing and now when you're ready to do your big military boom one turn into each thing unit unit unit unit unit every turn if they're not on their shit, literally checking every turn, they might miss it.

They might miss it for a while. Suddenly, there's a giant army on their doorstep in the course of five turns. That seems fun. I would play Civ. I like practical games. These are all viruses. Mind viruses, Taylor. This is what Richard Ryan was talking about

earlier with the mind virus. That's what these games are. To play that game, Taylor, I would have to... You talked about your YouTube recommendations. I would have to alter my YouTube recommendations to play that game. Right now, I'm getting movie reviews, lots of 70s

jams, that Brandy or Fine Girl shit that Woody put me on last week like i've been seeing it all goddamn week all week you'd be getting build order recommendations yeah i'd be getting build order recommendations right now i'm getting like landmark and pastillion willers and shit lots of tarkov loot guides 500 rare spawns on lighthouse and where to look yeah i know all you have to do is try it and you will despite yourself want to get better. Because you'll be like, I could do this. I could get better at this.

Taylor probably isn't even good. He said he's not good. He's not good. I'll beat his ass in a couple weeks. Perhaps we should find a game that neither of us have played before that we attempt. Because I... I want it to be RTS.

I love that genre. I hear RTS is dying. I think I read an online article that there's just like no good rts and all the rts's suck and everybody has gone back to legacy rts from days gone by then it's like the dying light of of a gaming genre that once was. Could be. I mean, I know AOE two does well. Uh, Starcraft two is obviously enormous. I tried that a few times. I didn't like Stark. I'm just not,

I'm more into like the history and like the different nations part of AOE than I am in like the three alien races that you can play in, uh, in Starcraft. Even though like Starcraft, like it seems like a really fucking hard game to be good at. Really hard. Wings was great at it. It can't be that hard. StarCraft 2?

He played StarCraft? Yeah. You didn't know? Are you serious? Did he say he played in South Korea or something? He did play in South Korea. That's when he flew to South Korea when he was 17. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I remember that now. He won, if I recall. They called him Two Seat Jordy. Yeah. They called him Two Seat Jordy. He only got, who you only game on the double white seat? He intimidate other gamer with massive presents. He devour entire craft services.

We go hungry. Yeah. I sit there with all my practice. He eating chili like he don't even care. It really get in my head. Be a master of manipulation. He always two meals ahead. He's always two meals ahead.

You feel the ground move when he come he announced himself before he walk in anyway um yeah i i've seen videos a bit but i never really got into it i don't know i don't know what i'm to play after this little phase I'm in right now. I don't think it'll be AoE. There is this game. Somebody linked this today. Fish, actually, who's always got, well, takes on things.

Let's call this trailer. I don't know what the fuck's going on here this trailer is for a game called yeah it's called uh Kingmakers on Steam we've been working really hard on this for five years you can finally unveil it to the public today I hope you guys like it I don't know what the fuck's going on here

it looks like anachronistic world war so what I mean by that is like bombers and Apache helicopters doing battle against these feudal age footmen is that what I mean by that is like bombers and Apache helicopters doing battle against these feudal age footmen right now we got like a feudal age like hack and slash going on

he's the one who trained our army who grew us into an empire I don't know where he's from but if you think you can stop him you're already dead. What? I didn't get this far. Okay.

I wasn't ready for that at all. He's got a pistol? He's got a shotgun! That guy's got a 7.4U! This is the game you were looking for like 10 years ago when we started PKA and you just wanted to mow down Nazi zombies. Look at that, he just killed a horse! I mean this looks pretty sweet.

Grenade! Oh, that was a nade! I was like, is he gonna run? Holy shit, he just shot like a general with a sniper. To save the future... He's a grenade launcher into a crowd of knights bro conquer the past dude what is this game it looks like this oh i like that yeah it looks like we've got fucking overhead rts with first-person soldier control, which isn't revolutionary, but it looks slick the way they did the transition.

If it's anything like this trailer, I'm in on this. Dude, I want to snipe from the top of the group. There's an Apache. There's a fucking Apache. That's just ridiculous. I hope he can save his own dude he brought the toyota dude the toyota might be the most the best offensive weapon in this game what just happened we went to the future future king makers and it's a fucking like

spec off guy with a machine gun on a horse that I'm going to check this out we'll see if that's if that's just a well cut trailer I love the idea I love the anachronistic combat style I don't know at first I thought that it was sort of a joke and basically

it was like a game like Civ where if you're really pounding somebody's ass maybe you've got helicopters and they've got foot soldiers, but that was all in-engine. I don't like that their release date is sometime in 2024. It's NASA adjacent.

No sooner than 2024. I'll take it. I'm interested in that. That'd look neat. I like that. I'm not pre-ordering shit. No, I don't pre-order things unless they give me a purple cape or something and then there you go. If there's purple capes involved, you didn't say that.

Baldur's Gate was like, here's the price of the game. Here it is. If you want a cape for $5, I guess we'll do it, but you don't need it. I was like, I need it. I need it right fucking now well hang on a minute hear us out we're also throwing in a useless hat that you'll never wear you had me at cape so i immediately gave him the five dollars because balder's gate is genuinely like it's on my mount rushmore of games now. It's right up there.

Can you see yourself doing another run through? Eventually, probably. Yeah, I told you. I was playing with my lady friend. She was doing a playthrough, and I judged her playthrough so harshly that we both got mad at the game and didn't bring it up again. It's like a sore spot. What did she do that you didn't like?

So there's this character called Auntie Ethel. She's this, what's it called? It's not a witch. It's a, anyway, she's a monster. And you get one over on her and she's like, ah, mercy, mercy, don't kill me. And I'll give you a plus one to your special skill of your choice. Oh, that's exciting.

And that's huge in an RTS. It's a one-time kind of thing for this permanent buff to a and what and what you do is you pick the skill that is your combat multiplier the thing that makes every stroke of a sword shot of a bow more powerful it's the combat multiplier for your race they vary by race and you know she picked the wrong fucking one and i found out about it far too late to alter course. And I was just like, man, I would just start over if it were me. And I meant it, but it was really discouraging the way I said it, I guess.

And so, but yeah, I will eventually play Baldur's Gate 3 again, I'm sure. She's like, Kyle, check out my character. And you're like, despicable. It's what I got her for a birthday. I got her a gaming PC, a monitor, a chair, and out my character. And you're like, despicable. It's what I got her for a birthday. I got her a gaming PC, a monitor, a chair, and a fucking desk. And then that happened. So we'll play some more Baldur's Gate at some point. We'll get through this. The word you're looking for, Kyle, is she is a hag.

A hag, yes. That's the monstrous in the game. I can't believe you didn't enjoy it, Taylor. That story is so wonderful. I played it. I just didn't play enough. I played like 20 minutes. I would play lots of that.

I've beaten it twice at least. I really enjoy it. I love the mechanics. It's a game where I'm sure if you were streaming it, somebody would look at what you're doing and be like kyle you're wasting so much potential here they'd look at my gameplay like i looked at hers and it would hurt my feelings but i feel like i'm doing my best and what that's that's another game that just absorbed my life right i was watching goddamn

videos on all those builds and stuff because it's like uh it's like magic the gathering which also absorbed my fucking life. I was watching those losers make their daily fucking build update like a brand new blue deck that'll blow your fucking mind. I'm like, shit.

I gotta know. Bookmarked when I get home. No, what do you mean on my phone? No, I need my headset to absorb and take notes i need to drink so i need three of these in my deck i guess chiz and i will get in a a spending battle for our decks that was my first fucking infection of magic the gathering is when i got into the spending battle with chiz and wasted all that money and then i got into it again with you on that new website where it was

incredibly easy to throw money at it and i must have wasted 400 don't even remember the name of the fucking website must have great decks i don't fucking care i will never play that really imagine gathering is like playing fucking dice except the dice have cool like character names and shit it's just a bunch of fun oh my god god. I haven't played in a long, long time now. I've been into other, obviously, AoE, but it's been so long since I've had a game that I've wanted to be this invested in that I'm really

enjoying it. I'm enjoying the getting better process. I just wish it were a game that was made in this decade. This century. Fuck. I guess that's technically a lie i'm playing the 2019 version but you know the original was 99 yeah i that's that's really a barrier for entry for me is that it is such an old game and it's the it's one of the reasons i never even

bothered with counter-strike obviously everybody thinks counter-strike is the greatest yeah it's the most played game all the time like perennial perennially but i know better than to get into a game that people have been practicing grenade spots and snipe spots on for decades like i'm not gonna get into that oh no they put you there's like skill-based matchmaking in aoe like you really actually need that in an RTS game. It's not like Call of Duty where you want to tool around with your buddies. If you play against someone way better than you in an RTS game, whether it's AoE or StarCraft, you will have less than no fun because the person you're playing against will immediately recognize you're new

and they will just try something like bully you. Like, oh, this guy doesn't know what he's doing. I'm going to wall him in. I'm going to go early and wall in this guy's berries so he can't collect berries. When I play with like Middy or Bobbity or whoever in Warhammer, it's like, all right, how hard can we meme on him? Could we bring that giant pterodactyl that makes everything around it invisible

but can't do any damage? Yep. Yep. Can we bring that giant pterodactyl that makes everything around it invisible but can't do any damage? Yep. Yep. Can we do that? How many lead belchers can I bring if we turn the unit? It is really fun to play the dinosaur men and bring just the gigantic dinos in that game. That is a really fun aesthetic, especially in team play.

If one guy just brings three gigantic saurus and everybody else has normal armies it's a problem yeah because that one i don't remember what it's called but it's like a shredder of lustria the shredder of lustria and it's got a bunch of little skinks on it that also are throwing javelins and blowing blow darts yeah the lizard men are a really cool aesthetic one i wish the ogres weren't so fucking bad, but they have a cool aesthetic too. I think the way they modify, I think the Lizardmen in Warhammer 40k lore

are like the old ones. They're like the race like 100 million years ago who started like the war in heaven or something and are responsible for some of the races that exist. I think in fantasy that's too. That's also true. Yeah, yeah. they converted a lot of the stuff when you realize the conversion it makes 40k a little less cool like the uh the necrons in 40k are these cool fucking things they're like they made a deal with uh with with the with the the frog people long

ago um and they thought that they were getting immortality but in reality they all just lost their souls and so now they're interred in like cyborg they're people but their their minds have been put into machines so they they're the necrons and to they decided to just sleep through the hard part of the galaxy so they live in these pyramids and they sleep for millennia and millennia and they wake up later on and they're the fucking Egyptians. So they're the tomb Kings. They're the tomb Kings. And,

and like, as you'd like, also aesthetically awesome. Tomb Kings are awesome. Um, but, but yeah, everything's like that.

There's even space dwarves. They call them squats. Uh, there's so, so we've got space dwarves up in there they're like humans who i don't know live too near the galactic core and because of the whatever the planet they lived on got short and hardy and mined a lot so they did as well i haven't checked since last time you and i got into i should have when i played a couple games a week or two ago when we stopped i think

they just released chaos dwarves as like a new race yeah they might i haven't checked the dlc there might be a new race again there is um i i could do that or here's a game i would get into with you i would get into dark tide um since since i stopped playing dark tide i think they have i don't know what they've done but i understand they have fleshed the game out quite a bit lots of dlc i just glanced over somebody's shoulder the other day playing it and there was like lots of like unlockable shit and like webs of unlocks and and stuff going on is that the i don't okay the vermentide yeah vermentide the chains now i had my complaints about that game but i'll tell you like the it's music it's aesthetic it's

it's accuracy to the 40k lore like blew me away like when you're you and your boys are running down that dark hallway that looks just the way it should and the music is like this it's like techno mixed with gothic it's like and the and then like one of the characters got like scream some like hardcore shit for the emperor you're like fuck yeah for the emperor you like say your voice line to whatever it is and you're you guys like it's the heretics and you're like fuck yeah and then some guy goes death to the xenos you're like oh my god. And then you clash with them. And that first clash, everything in front of you just explodes in blood and viscera.

And then you see in the back, the big stuff's coming. It's real cinematic every game. We can try that game. I'm down. I love that music. Hopefully they've added a lot to it. I play that music a lot when I'm playing other games. It's so good. That, or I found this music genre that I listen to when i play that music um a lot when i'm playing other games it's so good that or i found this

music genre that i listened to when i played tarkov it gets me a little depressed after the second hour though it's called it's russian doomer music d double o m e r doomer and it's like sad russian cartoon character smoking a cigarette and like and like this montage of like depressing russian architecture and it's just like i don't know what you're saying obviously it's in russian but it's lots of like like it's just like sad and then the cigarette wojak and that's it that's the music like like like like skip around in there that's what i listen to when i play tarkov it really gets me in the mood to be depressed and angsty. I have a mod

on AoE that replaces the soundtrack, which is good, with the Lord of the Rings soundtrack. How's that go? There's the Shire parts, there's the Rohan parts, Gondor, and so sometimes it meshes up nice where I'm running a bunch of cavalry and

the fucking Theoden music comes on. It's like this rules. This is great. And then sometimes it's totally disjointed and it's like, oh, it's playing Mount Doom music when I'm like peacefully eating sheep three seconds into the game. Or like it's playing nice, relaxing Shire music as I'm getting my ass plundered.

Like that's the way it goes sometimes. What was I going to say? It's time to wrap. Russian Doomer. Oh, it is time to wrap. Well, can you remember in 10 seconds? Eight seconds. Can you remember in six seconds, Kyle?

You got four seconds. No. Check out our sponsors. Check out Richard Ryan. I'm sure we'll have a link in the description. Click on the Merrick thing. Make us look good and make you look good because quite frankly, you need a little more tea.

PKA 688. Hasido!