Painkiller Already - PKA 697 W/ Ed Bolian/ VINWiki: Alpha Male Safeword, Vultures Circling Woody, WNBA Will Still Fail

Episode Date: April 26, 2024

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Starting point is 00:00:00 pka 697 with our guest ed bullion from vin wiki taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com and lock and load a couple of wonderful sponsors almost said a bad word less than 30 seconds in but i caught myself let's try to make it to 90 seconds let's let's get the 14 i think 31 is fine, right? Oh, well. Zach, put like a... I can't recall the last time we haven't been demonetized. Let's get the 14 bucks this week. Come on, let's do it. We split that up. We could all pay the tax on a hamburger.
Starting point is 00:00:35 That's fascism taking us down from monetization. Powerful YouTube. Susan Wojcicki or whoever's in charge of YouTube. The last time we weren't demonetized was with Hutch. It's part of the
Starting point is 00:00:51 liberal conspiracy. We had one taken down this week because I aired a television commercial from the 1980s that had girls in bikinis in it. That was not tolerable in 2024 YouTube. Here's a fashion show on YouTube. And so there's a fashion show on crazy.
Starting point is 00:01:07 YouTube is live streaming a fashion show right now. And all they're wearing is black electrical tape, I guess. Hmm. Yeah. I would imagine that like Victoria's Secret is placing ads on YouTube. You would think so, right? But yeah, this this guy had run a van modification company in the 1980s. and he sent me a bunch of his old ads that he had run on network television. And they just had girls in bikinis in these vans. And YouTube said, nope, not having it.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Damn, that sucks because we're all getting we're all so close to the truth. When do you take flack when you're over the target? That's coming after us. Is that what's happening at columbia university they're too close to the truth that's right i don't know i haven't been but you've been loving that i haven't been following it i don't think you turn the news on that's why you think i'm loving it because it's like you're right biggest news story in the country that every university basically that that holds 50 or 80 000 people or so um they're rioting and and protesting and taking up big areas and making the jews go home and hide and now the police have been
Starting point is 00:02:11 called in and a few of the uh universities and ut did it texas and um somewhere else i don't think they've done it new york they've cut but they're coming and dragging them out and taking the uh the tents the tent cities down and such. They're taking their tents? Yeah. Go back to your dorms, college kids. They're putting them in a subsidized dorm at the local jail. They locked up a lot of people today. Oh, there you go.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Oh, the protesters? Who's right, Kyle? Who's doing the right thing? No nuance. Pick a side. Students have Hamas, and as part of their groups, they talk about from the river to the sea.
Starting point is 00:02:48 They're flying Palestinian flags, chanting death to America. And their professors, tenured professors, who are on the board that overlooks all the other professors, are espousing the exact same thing. I'm still confused. Who's right? A Jewish. A Jew said something. He said, get out of here. I don't want you in my classroom
Starting point is 00:03:06 There's hearings going on People going to jail and There's like tens of thousands I missed what you said a Jewish professor said Get out of here to the protesters No A lefty professor was like Jews get out of here Yeah it was a Jewish student who was kicked out of class
Starting point is 00:03:22 Because they disagreed with Something about anyone who supports the israel was a baby oh the people who joined the idea for baby killers and what was the other thing something about israel being evil and zionists and um genocidal oh no no he defended october 7th it was comments on october 7th as well he was like it's amazing we never thought anything like this could be achieved it's so great what an achievement anything like this could be achieved. It's so great. What an achievement. What an innovative solution to the Zionist machine. They made it sound like they invented a new way to cook popcorn.
Starting point is 00:03:52 I don't like it. Yeah. So that's going on this week. Yeah, it's pretty fun to watch. I like seeing people get pepper sprayed, so I'm always down for something like that. I want to know, Ed, will you ever go so far down the automobile and mode of transportation pipeline that you're flying paramotors woody style no no smart man smart man i'm gonna stay down here where i can still fall off it and live and uh but uh it is a very fascinating hobby that you've got woody a
Starting point is 00:04:22 friend of mine is still in the hospital right now. His wing collapsed. There's a thing you can do. Press the speed bar. It increases your risk, but you go a little bit faster. And if you're high enough, then it's not that dangerous. Your wing might collapse, but you have a minute or two to either sort it out or throw a reserve parachute. I'm not saying it's no danger, but, you know, you can sort it out.
Starting point is 00:04:48 But if you do that at 100 feet, then you don't get any second chances. And that was his situation. And the pictures of him in the hospital. Dude, it's hilarious because his friend group, they all tease each other and raz each other constantly. So they're all he's in the hospital with the neck brace on, the blood on his face. He's got the air tube up his nose, his arms in some sort of cast, and his friends are taking
Starting point is 00:05:12 selfies with him, giant shit-eating grins. It's pretty funny. I think that's your responsibility as a friend of somebody with a dangerous hobby. Look what I called him. Fall down the stairs. He brought this on himself. That's true.
Starting point is 00:05:26 It's funny that you pick fall down the stairs as like a totally unavoidable thing that happens to every adult. It happens to everyone a couple times a month. Ed doesn't know. Kyle falls down his stairs constantly. He's 37. Is that a good word for his abusive relationship
Starting point is 00:05:42 or is he actually falling down a flight of stairs? Dude, name a bigger rivalry than Kyle and doorknobs. It's constant. No, it's not a euphemism. Is it related to the very flexible joints? No. No?
Starting point is 00:05:57 Why would it be? I don't know. I thought maybe your gigantic toes or something got caught on the steps as you went up. Why are you on it? Oh, I'm the idiot, oh oh i'm the i'm the idiot right i'm the idiot not your extra is that why you fall off flexed on you no it's because i've talked about it before it's because i i go down them in a very i i hit the very edge and sort
Starting point is 00:06:17 of slide down and do this like fun sort of like slide down the stairs instead of walking down the stairs like a normal person so i'm bringing it on myself and then the other time it was just like dark and i couldn't see the stair i i thought there was another stair or and there wasn't or vice versa like i thought i was at the landing and there was another stair and anyway my foot just reached out and didn't have anything and i just fell into the night is this pigeon toed slide like your normal way to address a stair, or is just sometimes the mood takes you to extreme stairs? Sometimes I'm just having fun. I'm a pretty happy
Starting point is 00:06:53 guy, pretty go lucky. I hop, skip, and jump up and down the stairs like a little child. I like that. I like to keep that childishness in my life. Keep me young. Keep me vibrant. My feet hurt right now from excessive jump roping. So I can't.
Starting point is 00:07:08 This guy's over here doing hopscotch. What qualifies as excessive in the jump roping? Well, when your feet hurt and you have to take ibuprofen to kill, to combat the limp. There you are. How many did you do? You know,
Starting point is 00:07:24 I was hoping to avoid this because it's not enough to warrant this kind of injury less than 10 minutes you can lie online i never i rarely four hours four hours no i think part of the problem is i do it in weightlifting shoes instead of something a little more bouncy like you want to wear because it's part of my routine that might be one of those exercises you're supposed to do barefoot right not the way i do it that would hurt even more yeah oh yeah i don't know like they say squatting barefoot is like a lot of people do that i've heard that but you never hit you in jump ropers yeah we're all woefully unequipped to critique what he's jump roping i can't remember the last time i jumped rope i'm not a big fan of it i don't like jumping rope never have i don't like any
Starting point is 00:08:10 of the calisthenics really i hated all that shit we would do in jujitsu when we do like the monkey crawls and shrimps and fucking ab walks oh my god it's like i'm paying for this let's get to work oh bear crawls no if i'm paying i'm paying for hours, and the first hour of it is gym? Like, get the fuck out of here. Teach me something. I used to like that stuff a little bit. You know what it was? I had a guy I trained with whose T-shirt said,
Starting point is 00:08:33 my warm-up is harder than your workout, and I took a lot of pride in that. What a asshole. He's always wearing a disgusting T-shirt. He can't wear his non-workout. The concept inspired me. Have you seen those clips online of people who are spending like 10 grand plus yes to do like pretend six a day three days eighteen thousand dollar uh alpha man camp that's what it is is it called alpha man camp
Starting point is 00:09:00 no but it's the best way for me to like condense it down to two or three words a day six thousand dollars a day for three days eighteen thousand dollars um you basically go through like pseudo seal uh training and there's lots of like learning to be assertive learning to like be physical learning um you know um uh resilience um stuff like that and there's a lot i saw one guy who i guess had some sort of like, he had a hard time being assertive. And the coach or the drill sergeant, more apt probably, is like, I'm not getting out of your way. You're going to move me.
Starting point is 00:09:36 And he's just like sort of moving him out of the way. He's like, move me out of your way if you want to get there. You want this? You want to be a man? You got to go through me. Sergeant Slaughter. I got you for three minutes. I wonder if it works at all.
Starting point is 00:09:52 It's like, here's where I'm coming from. I know. I sometimes read self-help books and it makes me a better me for weeks or even a month. That's Sergeant Slaughter right there. Yeah. for weeks or even a month. That's Sergeant Slaughter right there. At one point, he pulled out a knife, and he's like, if you're going to horse around and you're not going to take Sergeant Slaughter seriously,
Starting point is 00:10:12 you see this tattoo? I might as well carve it out of my flesh. By the way, Alan, your check did not clear. I bet you it's like a self-help book, that it has sort of a temporary impact and making you a little better maybe uh i it strikes me as like this looks retarded oh my god this is so lame you were right alpha male boot camp is that that's what it's in the tweet a three-day attendees mocked online for paying $18,000 to endure military-grade inspired punishments.
Starting point is 00:10:46 You know what would be funny is if we saw them with a hood on their head standing on a box. Electrodes on their fingers. It wasn't worth it to be attacked by German shepherds for three days. I hated the rape. These people must not be total losers
Starting point is 00:11:04 if they have $18,000 to spend on a three-day vacation. What's the amount you guys would spend for that experience? If you have to pay me $18,000? How much would you charge? $18,000 wouldn't be enough.
Starting point is 00:11:19 $30,000, I'd do it. Three days from getting yelled at? $6,000 a day, you wouldn't do that? There might be chafing. They're all wet. You're going to pay me ten a day to yell at me. You can't yell at me for six a day. I get yelled at for six a day. Not for only three days. We stretch this out for a couple weeks. We can get down to six a day.
Starting point is 00:11:36 I was a used car salesman for a long time. I have been yelled at for much less for much less money. Today, I don't know. think i'm with kyle on that one it'd probably take 10 grand a day to yell at me and to meet me like that and probably you know these pictures are going to end up being used as like in the pro hamas camp of like this is what they're doing over there and whenever somebody so get on the monkey bars like whenever
Starting point is 00:12:01 in the backdrop is the guy yelling at me i don't i don't think i'm there yeah they were all the same hatchet by the way not even a collection he like bought bulk from an axe throwing depot or some signature model that wouldn't sell out on amazon so we had to buy the leftover inventory yeah it's fucking lame i think like it is i don't think i'm an alpha man but i don't even know what the fuck that means necessarily and i definitely don't need a camp to make me feel better about myself or more assertive. Like I yell, I yell at people all the time. The working man nearly got it last week. I don't need any help.
Starting point is 00:12:33 You didn't pay him anything. I said, don't you see the no soliciting sign? Yeah. Spray them with a hose. People give me a hard shit for pissing on waiters as if waiters are real people equals us. All right. Well, we differ. We differ on that one.
Starting point is 00:12:45 I treat my staff well because they have access to my food and they're humans, but the Orkin man, that cocksucker better learn to read. It's not proven. I'm leaning into it. Fuck it. It blows me away when people are rude to the people who have access to your food and they have no
Starting point is 00:13:01 cool down time. What are they going to do? Piss off a waiter? Yes. Yeah, you think I don't want that? They might give you a little they might give you a little doo-doo on there and you get the worst E. coli you've ever had. You think I don't want that? All it takes is a little human doo-doo in your food to
Starting point is 00:13:17 make you so sick. Every time you get food poisoning, that's what food poisoning is. I think it's probably more than just that. It's human doo-doo and the bacteria It's what food poisoning is. I think it's probably more than just that. It's human doo-doo and the bacteria that's in it. It's undercooked chicken. That's salmonella. That's a different form. You can be food poisoned in many ways.
Starting point is 00:13:33 It doesn't sound like I'm wrong. The most common one would be E. coli that's coming from human doo-doo because it's the most likely contamination source to be in there. It's funnier to say doo-doo, though. Dookie? Yeah, dookie. because it's the most likely contamination source to be in there. It's funnier to say doo-doo, though. It's a funny word. Dookie?
Starting point is 00:13:47 Yeah, dookie. So you think that the leading cause of food poisoning is intentional introduction of... No. I think that it is... Kyle, don't you back off your beliefs. What I'm saying is it's very easy to poison a motherfucker. You just finger your butthole a little, just take their hot dog bun.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Clean your finger off with that. Throw the dog in there. A little chili on top. They'll never know. They're like, hmm, this smells so rich and deep. And the next thing you know, they're like puking their guts up and shitting blood. You ever shit blood from food poisoning? No.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Holy shit. That's when you know you've got it. When your intestinal lining is sloughing off from the evil that you've ingested i've had that once what what was it what did you eat oh i don't remember probably fucking oh i think it was i'd remember it was uh it was greek food because that you know they do that thing where they've got the huge hunk of meat rotating and they slice it off yeah yeah yeah it was The most common form of food poisoning is undercooked poultry. I googled it. That does seem true. Yeah, it's called campy lobacter.
Starting point is 00:14:50 I might have mispronounced it, but it's close. That's what Big Doodoo wants you to think. That's what Big Doodoo... They're always fucking buying our politicians. Big Doodoo is some shit-eating guy. That's where that expression comes from, the shit-eating grin of Big Doo-Doo. The bureaucrats that ripple the strings.
Starting point is 00:15:09 I would get yelled at for probably three days. Three days in a row. You know, a grand a day. Pretty solid deal. Jesus Christ. They're not just yelling at you.
Starting point is 00:15:24 They are whooping your ass and posing you and making you get... You know what sugar cookie means? It's when you get in the water and then you go out in the water and you do exercises. Maybe you're lifting boats or logs. Strenuous to your beat. Then you come back in while you're beat and you roll in that dry sand and turn into a sugar cookie. Then they make you do calisthenics.
Starting point is 00:15:40 So your skin and your shirt is now sandpaper. Your nipples are bleeding. I warned you there was chafing. Your whole body is chafed. Your nipples are bleeding. I warned you there was chafing. Yeah, okay. You're all ignoring me. Your whole body is chafed. You're going to be wet and sandy doing hard outdoor calisthenics without brakes and shit.
Starting point is 00:15:54 It's seal straining. Which one of us is pronouncing chafing correctly? Chafing. Chafing. Like church. Like church. Chafing, yeah. Oh, I had it wrong.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Okay. Were you saying chafing? No. Like a Spanish person? No. Like church. Like church. Chafing. I had it wrong. Okay. Were you saying chafing? Like a Spanish person? No. He wasn't saying that. There's no evidence he ever did. He approved it. God damn. That's how a cholo would say chafing.
Starting point is 00:16:21 Chafing. And they would do it for way less than six grand oh they yeah they that's probably cholo's running the class i'd be scared those are the scariest people to me they got there's uh the cholo with the big white t-shirt shaved head and a mustache that guy's scary as fuck remember the guy who's gonna rape ethan hawke in uh training day they're sitting around playing poker he's like yo bro you ever get your shit pushed in he's like nah man i got mine pushed in and he's like what the fuck like things just flip on a dime and now he's in the bathroom upside down that was and then he molested the guy well i'm not gonna spoil the movie it's a good movie
Starting point is 00:16:59 training day denzel washington i think i'm on the same side i'm thinking of all the things that are scarier than that. Even Vendetta shows with Bush. I'm coming up with zero. Snakes. Even Longoria? A venomous snake that's in your bed with you. Okay. Well, if you put a cholo in bed with you now,
Starting point is 00:17:19 choose. He might not bite me. If you're lucky. If I'm bigger than him and stronger than him, I can enforce like a pillow barrier and be like, you stay on that side of the bed. I'll stay on my side. Not even on his spoons if I'm strong.
Starting point is 00:17:33 But if he's stronger than me, then that is scarier. I think it goes without saying, this is a big, strong, scary one. Okay, you're right. A big, strong, violent rapist. A nine-year-old cholo is not scary. In bed with me is very scary. I would pick the snake in retrospect.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Do you think they have a safe word? You can opt out at any time or do you think you just forego that on sign up? Yeah, you forego that. He's going to take it when he wants it. In the camp? If it's a real company.
Starting point is 00:18:04 I was thinking about cholo sex. I was like, nah, they just take what they want, man. No, they definitely in the can. If it's a real, like, if it's a real company. I was thinking about Yolo sex. I was like, nah, they just make what they want, man. No, they definitely have a safe word. Avocado, avocado. If they're running some kind of business there, like, they probably want repeat customers. And so they might be secretly hoping that, like, Stevie fails on day two so that they can then be like. You know what I do? You know,
Starting point is 00:18:25 we're not going to charge you for day three. You didn't make it, but we have another class in two months. We really think you're going to make it this time. I would put, I would put one of my boys in and he'd be the first to quit. Like I dog him hard and make him, somebody's going to quit today.
Starting point is 00:18:39 That'd be, that'd be part of the first exercise. We don't stop till somebody quits. We don't eat till somebody quits. And I'd have my boy there and he'd be ready to quit 45 minutes in. But right before one of the first exercise. We don't stop till somebody quits. We don't eat till somebody quits. And I'd have my boy there and he'd be ready to quit 45 minutes in. But right before
Starting point is 00:18:48 one of the pay, you don't want the paying customers to quit for sure. You want them to get to day two or three. Well, Taylor's suggestion is to get them to resign. You know, they go
Starting point is 00:18:56 two and a half days and it's like, I think next time you can do it. You can apply. We don't necessarily accept the deposit. Surprise, surprise.
Starting point is 00:19:03 If the check clears, that's your approval. I know that we said it was free if you complete the training. With four hours remaining, that is why we are now beginning the three-gallon-of-milk drill. Fuck. Some guy with a milk mustache. Nobody ever makes it past this one. Yeah, to me, that's lame lame not only because like yeah it's pretty
Starting point is 00:19:27 pretty gay it it it kind of stinks of that wannabe military shit a little bit um and i don't like that ever i hate that like fake army man shit i mean i don't like the cops do it too and they don't have any more right to do it than anybody i see where we ran a fucking patch for bro don't you write tickets like you're in a patch what do you mean death of dishonor death of dishonor 45 or over that's that should be your motto death dishonor fucking pig that's a good line i might reuse it when you're not around yeah do it when they pull you over as he's writing you the ticket, you notice it on his forearm. When you see the thin blue line wristband, let him know it's a gang sign.
Starting point is 00:20:10 I was wondering if like, because I see thin blue line stuff, not very often, like bumper stickers when I'm out and about. Like that, a lot of the people, or at least a significant percentage, a plurality we'll say, have to be doing that tactically.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Because I bet if you ran some numbers something like that like they they maybe maybe they don't get pulled over less but maybe they get off get off more yeah what if you absolutely what if you tell them you're on the job and just don't you know go any further than that what job's that i want to talk about code name night wing and then he's, what are you talking about? Above your pay grade. These guys make 38 grand a year. Everything is.
Starting point is 00:20:54 You've done all those races and everything, Ed. Is that a tactical move for racers? Throw a little thin blue line, slap that on the back? Well, so we do some fundraising for cops and most of their insignia has some element of that and it does help tremendously. Yes. If you get pulled over and you have some rationale as to how something about what you're doing supports cops in some way, it absolutely helps. We actually did a cannonball with some cops a few years ago called the Cannonball Memorial Run, where it was as cop hypocritical as I suppose you could ever get. But we were raising money for the families of fallen officers.
Starting point is 00:21:34 And so we sped across the country with cops. Wow. And you pulled over and you're in the club. That almost ties into this. I've had this question queued up. I was driving home from the Eclipse from Ohio and I was thinking of you. The cannonball has been done for a long time now, right?
Starting point is 00:21:52 Maybe 40 years. I'm pulling that out of my hat, but it must be close-ish. 50, yep. Okay. And therefore, a lot of the easy stuff has been figured out. Oh, you want a big gas tank.
Starting point is 00:22:03 You need a car that's comfortable going fast for a long time. It must be almost a little bit luck-based right now, where you don't hit any big time wasters along the way. What secrets do you have in your back pocket? If you wanted to break a cannonball record, do you think there's any ideas that haven't been done before that could give you an advantage that hasn't been seen? We've had people get away with the organ transplant ruse a lot.
Starting point is 00:22:32 And so they'll carry a cooler that says like, you know, live tissue or something like that. And, you know, do not open. And I have friends that have gotten away with it. You know, you're right, especially in the wake of all the COVID times where the time is now 2539, almost 110 mile an hour average. Low traffic. 110 average. Yeah. So our average was 100. And yeah, so you take away, you know, everyone commuting and you tell the police that they're not supposed to pull anybody over. And it's like a four to five hour advantage.
Starting point is 00:23:09 And so to go out and do it now would be an entirely different proposition because you'd have to run enough spotters ahead of you, which is the new thing. So the guys that beat me had 35 spotter cars, people that they've agreed to pay tickets for driving at pace, you know, less than a few miles ahead of them. And so, you know, you don't really rely as much on radar detectors and laser jammers and ways and things like that. You're just relying on the immediate Intel that you're getting back from somebody driving ahead of you at the same speed. Wow. And so other than a predator drone, I'm not sure what does any better than that. But it's a very different game now than it was 10 years ago when I set the record.
Starting point is 00:23:52 So you couldn't just find a vehicle that goes 150 with 600 gallons of gas or anything wild like that? We think that the sweet spot's about 50 gallons of gas on a decent consumption-based car. That's three stops in most cases. And that would pretty much be optimal. Trying to go longer driving stints ends up making you drive a little bit more slowly. One thing that I explored was actually becoming a senator. Because if you are on the way to any work obligation as a senator or congressman,
Starting point is 00:24:27 you are privileged from arrest. They cannot arrest you. Do you have to be a federal senator? Or is state senators mildly achievable? Oh, yeah, for sure. Some of the states emulate the same thing, but it's Article 4, Section 6 of the U.S. Constitution. And it says that senators are...
Starting point is 00:24:43 Oh, they didn't think that one through. That's a good one well it was from the early days of them going in for votes and the opposite side would just pull them all over and arrest them on the way and then on trumped up charges and then we don't see what happened and so it's a good idea voting outcome right um so now you'd have to find a cop that knows that that to get them to let you go. Uh, but it's, uh, yeah. So I thought about that, but I did not decide or have the money to run. COVID ruined it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:11 COVID ruined it. Um, you're never going to get that, uh, advantage again. And that's the biggest advantage of all. It's hard to overcome there. Like I hate to say can never be beaten because I follow competitive swimming a little bit. And there was a period where swimsuits were better than they are now. They were practically wetsuits, like from wrist to neck to ankles. And they're faster than human skin.
Starting point is 00:25:33 And they decided that that was too much and they backed it off a little bit. So now there's records out there. You know, how are you going to beat that? People do. So COVID, somehow that seems a parallel to me. Like, yeah, how are you gonna beat that that advantage will never exist again am i wrong i thought that women's swimming records had been stagnant for like two generations or something because of the um the steroids in the 80s
Starting point is 00:25:55 no they're still falling they still fall but there were some old ones though the distance women's distance women's swimming is interesting they're almost as fast as men like i get something about that i don't think there's another sport out there where there's less of a difference in times shooting oh yeah okay yeah you know they only split the uh the skeet shooting to men and women after the chinese woman won wow that's it there are some sports where i don't know why women can't be as good. Why are women not as good at chess? Why are women not as good at pool, billiards? This isn't that long. Driving maybe? I don't know. racing drivers and there's no necessary physiological reason that they couldn't be, but it's one of those things that just like, you know,
Starting point is 00:26:47 there's just not that many that pursue it, uh, at nearly the rate. And so it's probably still proportionate to the number, uh, that achieved something. Are there leagues where a light driver has a huge advantage? Oh,
Starting point is 00:26:58 all of them. Every single one. Yeah. I mean, somehow I have a NASCAR that they weigh the car with the driver in it. Am I wrong? All of them. They weigh the car with the driver in it. Yes. Um, and there can only be like so much, uh, you know, weight loss and things like that, but it's, uh, yeah, I mean, I'm six foot five. I'm never going to be a competitive racing driver anywhere. There have been a few tall racing drivers, more so in sports car racing and NASCAR, where you can be successful, but you're still at a disadvantage.
Starting point is 00:27:28 And it's a lot harder to build a safe race car that accommodates a tall person the way that roll cages and things like that are built. Yeah, because if you're heavy, they can't choose where your weight goes. That's it, essentially. Yeah. Well, you're generally going to be close to the middle of the car. And so with ballast and things like that, they're always manipulating it. But it's, yeah. And, you know, fortunately, cannonball, those rules do not necessarily apply.
Starting point is 00:27:53 But, yeah, it felt kind of like the steroid era in baseball where, you know, nobody's going to go out there and, you know, be racing for home runs like Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa ever again just because, you know, that was a totally different physiological exercise for them. And so I think that, yeah, when, when you have that, you have to decide, well, does that just flip the sandbox over or do people find a different way to
Starting point is 00:28:16 compete? And generally what's happened in the world of cannonball, which I think has been, you know, enjoyable to watch as people find these other much more granular records that they can pursue like the autonomous record and the non-stop record and the round trip record and the electric car record and all these other things and that allows them to say i have a cannonball record and i'm all for that i mean there's no governing body of illegal outlaw cross-country road racing and so
Starting point is 00:28:42 if you want to make a claim, and everything has those granular things. I saw an NBA player holding up a Wilt Chamberlain 100-looking sign that said he was the only player to ever score 50 points in the NBA and college in the same arena. That's a baseball kind of record. UFC will do records like that, too. It's like like who cares in the professional world i worked at cisco and cisco the networking company if you weren't number one or number two in your market they shut down your division that was it so they would start like make it office chairs right are you number one in office chairs oh i'm number one in five-wheeled maroon
Starting point is 00:29:22 office chairs with arms and they would stay in business that way. Some silly math. You know how they say a big reason for not allowing steroids in baseball is then all the steroid guys would just force everybody who didn't want to get roided up to get roided up. And then it's like you're taking a bunch of health risks and whatnot to be taken turnblown. I just had a Jimmy Neutron brain blast. Every team gets one guy, only one guy who can be on steroids. No more DH, just your roid guy. Yeah, you have one roid guy.
Starting point is 00:29:58 They test everybody strenuously to make sure he's on whatever the approved uh you know prescription of steroids is and that way you can maybe compete with some mark mcguire records and keep it exciting baseball is doing a little better now i think since they made that rule it makes it go faster and also then a player can decide like like when the nhl like they could be like all right i'm that guy is volunteering to be an enforced enforcer he knows these cs in his future more likely than not, but a lot of players don't want to go that route. This is a good baseball idea. Hi, my name is Big Al, and I hit dingers.
Starting point is 00:30:31 Yeah. Big Al hit dingers. I think this is just a kid rules. So the problem is... Did you see him recently? No. He's not fat anymore. Actually, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:40 He's a handsome, good baseball player. Good for him. Hope he keeps hitting dingers. Hope he makes it to the bigs. There's a new steroid Olympics, right? What? I'm going to have to look it up. I remember seeing it pretty heavily
Starting point is 00:30:54 promoted. It's like the steroid games. I wonder what the games are. There's no snowboarding in that bullshit. Now the hardest event, the one-mile jog. Enhanced games allows anabolic steroids and HGH beta blockers, cannabinoids and all the everything. You can do anything you want.
Starting point is 00:31:14 And who's behind it? Was Peter Thiel? He's like a big tech billionaire. Yeah, Peter Thiel's involved. And yeah, so they've invested in this i don't know when it launches but uh take place in 2025 and it's uh yeah so what are they gonna have i want to see someone gold medal in both tracks swimming weightlifting gymnastics and combat sports uh it was originally December 2024,
Starting point is 00:31:46 but they, they're supposed to announce the location soon. It looks like, but I mean, that's going to be, can you imagine weightlifting where it's all, I mean, I have to assume, you know,
Starting point is 00:31:55 in some sports like that, it's already pretty prevalent, but who the heck knows, you know, that's a, China just lost a bunch of medals, right. From the,
Starting point is 00:32:03 maybe the women's 800 swimming in Beijing Olympics. I think they lost several medals. No wonder they're as fast as the men. They have higher T. They're fucking cheating. I would be okay with TRT levels of steroids. The problem is when they go ham,
Starting point is 00:32:20 when they're taking huge doses of exotic chemicals. If they were just taking TRT dosage of testosterone, not the women, because there's four women. I see. That's the real problem. Like it sucks for women more than men.
Starting point is 00:32:34 Cause men, a man might get enlarged hard or like die, you know, 15, 20 years early or something like that. But those women are like ruined. Like, like they've transformed their,
Starting point is 00:32:44 their, their ovaries, just their voice. They've turned into like they've transformed their their ovaries just their voice they've turned into they've been masculinized tell me more no kids what he's gonna give him a trans man we always talk about hypothetical single way it's a trans man it's a it's a it's a dude what he is trans he's male to alpha male they'll be like you're the most convincing one i've ever seen he's gonna have a clit bulge man i will watch the steroid games mainly i want to see how much more weight they're doing than regular weightlifters it might be telling if it's not a lot more they won't be anymore i bet because
Starting point is 00:33:26 the caliber of person who's willing to get dirty and never being able to be able to compete in the real games is going to be so much lower i feel that they're not gonna be approaching those weightlifting records because of the talent that's required to like clean and press 180 kilos or whatever the fuck and it could depend on what kind of lifting they're doing like if they're just doing olympic style lifting a lot of that is like having perfect technique right and how you move the weight that's what i'm saying not like not just raw strength so maybe if they i don't know what the best raw strength exercise is they could i don't know are you talking about things like deadlift press like like you know like if you watch a clean and jerk
Starting point is 00:34:05 that i know is tech yeah like there's a huge amount of technique there and so like those guys it's not like they can go to a you know strongman competition and lift those giant you know stone balls but a lot of those guys doing the strongman competition probably can't clean and jerk is or maybe they can't those guys seem pretty righted up they probably they probably wonder if combat karate is testing people if you don't know like taylor it's it's karate but they they actually hit each other beat the shit out of each other like mma style uh it just kind of eliminates the ground game and a lot of ex ufc fighters are going over there and i feel like they're they're voided up what do they wear kyle like i guess i'm asking do they have lots of
Starting point is 00:34:43 i think they wear a gi like no there's no padding they it's like mma with karate moves and the the fighting arena is weird like at the edges it just it's soft padding that goes up and away at a at an angle so you're kind of in a bowl i think luke uh bisping wants to fight rockhold and combat karate with one eye one eye so far. For those who don't know, Michael Bisping, former UFC champion, British guy, has one eye left because he was kicked in the eye by a roided-up guy, and it never came back right. Over his career, it got damaged more and more,
Starting point is 00:35:19 but the thing that pushed it over the edge was, was it Belfort? It was a roided out guy ruining his eye and so now he's got a glass eye in there it was either belfort or henderson and they're both roided up so that doesn't change the story i think it was i think it's belfort i saw it's not allowed right you're not allowed to use steroids in ufc right so there was a time when you were allowed to take trt um and the thing is once you're allowed to take TRT. And the thing is, once you're allowed to take steroids, people took seven times more
Starting point is 00:35:52 than you would expect them to take for a therapeutic dose. I can't tell how much you're taking just that you're taking. It's because people respond to it differently. I might give myself 100 milligrams and my levels might go to 1,000 and you might do the same
Starting point is 00:36:05 and your levels will only go to 500 so they're not looking at they look at the levels sometimes like I think Chael Sonnen may have been a case and they're like all right what the fuck like like there's no way this is 225 milligrams Chael you have the testosterone of a mountain gorilla like what is this like clearly you're on a lot of shit and he's i don't know dude when chael first explained that i wasn't equipped for the level of lying that chael regularly does chael's a great storyteller but he has very little uh adherence to the truth in his stories he's very so he mixes the two yeah i you just can't tell like it if i told you i'd caught a 12 inch fish and you suspect that i was a liar,
Starting point is 00:36:47 you might think it was really 10 or 8 if I'm a big liar. If you heard I had never been fishing before, now you're dealing with Chael Sonnen. So when he says that he set the record for the most substances, banned substances caught at a single time in one test, I don't know if it's true or not. It sounds true. But I believe it. I can't tell.
Starting point is 00:37:07 He was like one of the very first people to see that there was a testosterone replacement therapy. What do you say when something. Exemption. And get into it. But clearly he went like way overboard. He looked great when he fought john jones he did man he looked handsome guy and he's just like built out of steel and he's like and i got in there and
Starting point is 00:37:31 i knew i was juiced to the gills and i laid hands on him and he just moved me yeah what he said was this i was juiced to the gills i'm rock i'm you, just fucking muscle wrap, stretch tiger skin over my muscles. And then I grabbed John Jones and I knew his secret. He was juiced. And sure enough, Jones has been caught for steroids. Jones beat the brakes off him. I watched it the other day. I overwatched it the other day.
Starting point is 00:38:01 So Chael, when he got caught for steroids, said this is all a misunderstanding. I told them that I was taking TRT, and they forgot that I told them. But the exemption should apply. We'll just sort it out. And Dana is like, we have never had that conversation. I don't know what he's talking about. He completely made that up out of thin air, that this is a conversation that other people forgot, and I just wasn't equipped at that level of lying.
Starting point is 00:38:22 But I follow politics now. Speaking of the P the peds i just happened upon a video i just linked that show you know that like um hardest punch machine they have at the ufc private labs or whatever they do uh that dude eddie hall who is the former world's strongest man like i guess it was francis in ghanu for a while and then a guy named alex perea like blew his out of the water and like i guess like two weeks later eddie hall's like i think i'd like to be the strongest puncher in the world and then like just wandered in there and blew his out of the water and like his punch is so hard. Like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:39:08 I feel like he could just like assassinate someone with that. Like the mountain. Am I wrong about that? He fought the mountain. Yeah. It was like a, it was a big strong man fight. So they weren't like very spry, but I think the mountain one,
Starting point is 00:39:21 because the mountains like six foot 10 or something retarded. And so like that amount of reaches, not that Eddie Hall is like six, three or something retarded. That amount of reach is... Not that Eddie Hall is like 6'3 or something. They weren't spry. I think I saw it too. But they fought better than I expected. If you took an untrained person and had them fight, it would just look so much different than the trained people you're accustomed
Starting point is 00:39:38 to seeing. By comparison, I don't know what Eddie Hall weighs there. I'm going to call it 305. 380, apparently. Alex Perea, the guy he beat, fought at 185 a couple months ago. By comparison, I don't know what Eddie Hall weighs there. I'm going to call it 305. 380, apparently. 380. Alex Perea, the guy he beat, fought at 185 a couple months ago. Yeah, so he's over two of him. He was the 185-pound champ, and now he's the 205-pound champ.
Starting point is 00:39:57 And he's going to be the heavyweight champ. Do you think if you let Eddie Hall unload that punch on your head, it would actually kill you? I think he'd be more likely to kill me if he hit me in the chest because i think my head is made to like flick back and maybe he like hurt yeah i think i could survive that because we're just meant to survive shit like that but i think if he hit me in the chest i think he would stop my heart or he would collapse my lungs or burst them or something he'd like break all your wrists if he if he tries to hit your head or my head, whoever it is,
Starting point is 00:40:25 but you're rolling away from it, you're going to really reduce the amount of pain you take. But with some of the worst knockouts, there's this collision, right? Like I'm coming forward thinking I'm on the attack and you hit me while I come forward and combined, we've done something really special and I'm out cold.
Starting point is 00:40:41 That's what Conor McGregor does. He gets you to come in, come in, come in, and then he stops. And you're like, whoa, you weren't supposed to stop there. Oh, you're already swinging? How about this? You have to do that goofy camp and get yelled at or take that punch
Starting point is 00:40:57 to your very, apparently resilient head, Kyle. Very resilient. Yeah, I'll definitely take the three days of nonsense. I don't know how they can make me stay though. Is he there if I quit? And he's like...
Starting point is 00:41:13 You can walk away at any time. You can walk away at any time, boys! Them hoes are waiting! He's just ready to fucking kill you. Eddie Hall has my car keys. He's over there with his big giant man boys you can have too many time kyle get your keys i'm a sugar cookie all chafed up that's one of my biggest fears from being honest like i'd rather take an ass whooping than get real chafed i really would like you it like like i see people get jumped into gangs and stuff they take a pretty
Starting point is 00:41:44 good ass whooping but nothing nothing like UFC, frankly. I've seen real ass whoopings. So it's like, what, you got a bloody lip and some bruised ribs? I'll be better in a month. I don't know if I want to get all chafed up, though. You ever running and get chafed nipples and you can't stop it? It's a vicious cycle. I've never gotten chafed nipples from activity.
Starting point is 00:42:02 One time. You never do it again. Band-Aids or whatever it takes. I've asked lean them bitches up. What were you doing that you chafed youripples from activity one time you never do it again band-aids or whatever it takes it is i've asked lean them bitches up what were you doing that that you chafed your nips way worse it was it was something that shouldn't it was like doing you know fixing something or doing working outside and it was like how in the world did that abrade my nipples in such a fashion that i now can no longer wear clothing for a week. It happened to me every year.
Starting point is 00:42:31 So in surfing, you put wax on the surfboard to make it sticky. Otherwise, you just slip right off. And every year as you transition from wetsuits to just bareback, you probably wear shirts now, but it would make your nipples just be scabs. And then you still go surfing and the scabs would rip off and that just happened again. Just wear a shirt, man. This is before athletic, dry fit shirts. Now a lot of top surfers
Starting point is 00:42:54 wear big, loose, cotton to my eye, a very ugly, homeless looking t-shirt. I guess it's the style. I would wear something you'd see's the style well i would wear like something you'd see in the gym like a dry fit sort of flattering shirt but they don't they wear big sloppy cotton t-shirts weird but they're amazing i think it's style i remember getting my
Starting point is 00:43:17 thighs chafed at the beach like as a kid because like sand would get in there and you're like so excited you want to just keep running around and playing and like rolling in the sand and being buried by your friends and then burying them. And you don't like realize until later that evening when like you're getting out of the shower or getting in the shower, usually like the hot water comes on like, Oh, it's hamburger meat down there,
Starting point is 00:43:39 but that can't stop you. You got holes to dig. Those are my crabs to discover. Those are my... There are crabs to discover. Those are my most, like, I don't... feared injuries. Like, burns, chafing things, like rope burn. Rope burn hurts so much if you've ever gotten a good one. It's like...
Starting point is 00:43:55 It's excruciating. I can remember getting a rope burn once and, like, the whole ride home, having my hand in front of the air conditioner and just mad sky. We had this huge slide that went down a hill into a river and there was a rope to pull yourself back up, but it wasn't thick enough to get a good like grass on. And I,
Starting point is 00:44:13 my feet slipped out from under me and I took like a few feet of it through my hands. And I just remember it felt like it was so hot. It like, it got hot and it was just, it was a really bad rope burn across. But yeah, that sucks.
Starting point is 00:44:24 I hate chafing and i hate burns you know what it hurts more than you get credit if you're really cold and your hands are i don't know if it's technically frostbitten but when you first warm them up again that's more brutal than like it happened to me a couple years ago and i was like i forgot how much how bad this is yeah dude all right worse than that it has to be i was watching the um i watched everest the movie about those people that got trapped on the mountain fucked up and the one guy's face kind of froze off he got such bad frostbite and i was just thinking when can you imagine frostbite when they're when they're like putting hot water on that like that's got to be what you're describing
Starting point is 00:44:58 times 10 because i remember playing in the snow as a kid and coming in like staying out way too long and getting in the hot tub and my whole legs just stinging just stinging prickling and hurting so much i thought would you even feel it on like frostbite is it got to be that on the rebound it does when they're recovering the repair work does yeah yeah good god ed tesla sales, I think, three quarters in a row. Why? Are people not liking EVs? Are people not liking Elon? Are people not... Are they competitors?
Starting point is 00:45:31 Well, American buyers are absolutely hating EVs. There's a ton of evidence to support that. Although the rental car fleets just re-upped on them. So I think they got exceptional deals on them. But Tesla keeps slashing prices to qualify for different incentives. And that's causing just unfathomable depreciation, like 4% to 5% a month at times, which in the aggregate, cars depreciate about 1% a month. And so it is a huge, huge problem. A couple of months ago, actually, I got an Audi RS e-tron GT, which is essentially the Audi version of a Taycan Turbo S.
Starting point is 00:46:08 And I am not an electric car guy at all, but a friend of mine runs Audi Birmingham. And he called me. He was like he's really proud of himself because he had worked out this deal to lease these cars for a year effectively for free. Because Audi Financial Services is a different department or a different company really than Audi Corporate. And so Audi Corporate puts these incentives on the cars and Audi Financial puts the residuals on the leases. And the one year residual on the lease was higher than the purchase price, which is effectively creates a free lease. And so it was just like interest in taxes. And so I leased $160,000 car for 250 bucks a month. And the problem is that that is probably a, they had about 150 of these in nationwide inventory when it began and they sold them all, which is probably going to be
Starting point is 00:46:57 a six to $7 million mistake that Audi Financial will have made when they own these cars a year from now. And those are the kind of things that just kill them. I mean, that's a crippling blow to some of these financial institutions. And so, yeah, Teslas are down. Lucid's abysmal. Rivian's doing okay. My friend loves his Rivian. Yeah. I mean, they've got great customer satisfaction. Tesla just recalled every Cybertruck. But go ahead, Kyle.
Starting point is 00:47:29 What's the price tag on a Rivian? It started like $80, $90. Yeah. Then go up like $30 maybe. I happened to look last night, not only last night, but a few weeks prior to see what Cybertrucks were going for used. I felt like that would be very telling if you can get one used for $ 140 150 shit like that in the atlanta area well but that's still very new so when they first came out a couple of them traded for 200 240 which was a massive overage and um they were actually being bought by ford to reverse engineer and see what they needed to do so ford bought a dozen of them or something like that and sometimes that's all it takes to really change the perceived value. There are not a lot
Starting point is 00:48:10 of transactions happening in the 140, 50, 60 zone. And so they're going down very fast because these record prices were less than two months ago. And so they haven't been delivering them long. They got huge quality issues and stuff like that. So it's really been problematic. And now that the incentives from a tax perspective only apply to American built cars, the German stuff doesn't. So they're relaxing a lot of these standards about when all their cars have to be EV or a percentage or whatever, because it's just not feasible. I can see why the rental car market, because I would love, if you offered me a rental EV, I think it's the one I'd pick because I just want to play around with it without committing. Well, the problem with playing around with it is that you can get stuck somewhere and
Starting point is 00:48:58 you open up yourself to some exposure, especially like, you know, I was out in Vegas the other day and they had, you could rent an electric car for a third of what you could rent a gasoline powered car. But I had to go from Vegas to Southern Utah. And I was like, well, I don't know what the charging network's going to be. I'm staying at a hotel that inevitably will not have a charger. And I'm going to have to, you know, solve problems associated with having this car. If I was just tooling around the strip, by all means, that makes a lot of sense. And so Tesla's stock is dropping. They keep saying that the cyber taxi idea is going to be the salvation of the whole brand.
Starting point is 00:49:35 But man, one of my detail guys, they just gave out free self-driving for a month if you have a car that has the cameras that make it capable to try to make you subscribe to it. It's either $100 a month or a $12,000 flat fee to get the self... Oh, is it $8,000 now? They lowered it by $4,000. If you bought it already,
Starting point is 00:49:58 you feel ripped off. They don't care if you bought it already very clearly because when you reduce the price of the Model S by $30,000, the trickle-down depreciation is just horrific. And Tesla has always had such a devoted fan base because they've always been far ahead in terms of a lot of the technology that they're doing. And so it's been justified, but when they keep getting kicked over and over again, it's, it's really hard to, to stay that positive on it, especially since the long-term residual values are so, so terrible. Yeah. Every other car, I feel like repeat buyers are big part of the business model and Tesla. I can imagine anyone who, even if you like an EV, you look at the other ones to see if it's greener over there.
Starting point is 00:50:46 Oh, of course. If I were buying one, let's say my price tag is in that $80,000 to $90,000 range, which is kind of where the mid-range of most of the electrics, it seems. I would want the Tesla. I would want the Tesla. I would. Just because the others don't seem... Look, they had the issue with the accelerator plate.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Man, they got right to it. They got it fixed. I know they just shot a fucking pot rivet in it, but it's fixed. I'd be like, no, thank you. I'm going to use some glue. I don't want a pot rivet in my accelerator pedal. Maybe I'll just get a full aluminum accelerator
Starting point is 00:51:23 set up even because I'm already $100,000 into a goddamn truck that can't do truck stuff. It's just for looks anyway. That's why I like it. I do like the Cybertruck. Like Woody, I wouldn't care for how much attention you're going to get if you're in one. It's not just
Starting point is 00:51:39 riding around in a nice Corvette or even a Lambo. This thing is huge and tall. Everybody sees you on the block. You could sneak by in a nice Corvette or even a Lambo. This thing is huge and tall. Everybody sees you on the block. You could sneak by in a sports car and nobody would know. Did you see that Porsche? No. Of course you didn't. It can hide behind all the other cars.
Starting point is 00:51:56 I'm curious where you stand on this. To me, a disadvantage of having, make it like a Ferrari F40 or something, is that every time I pull up anywhere I'm getting attention does that bother you or do you like it because some people love it I don't love it I don't buy them for that reason and fortunately in large cities it is a lot less of a factor than it was 10 years ago. The volume of production in interesting and weird
Starting point is 00:52:25 looking cars is so much higher now than it was a fairly short time ago that it is wildly, wildly different. I had a lime green Lamborghini for a while, and that was a very different experience. And I've had every color of them than an orange one, red one, yellow one, anything. That one, I mean, people would crash taking pictures of it. And so it was a lot more challenging on a daily basis for that reason. But I would say that I mean, it's not that big of a deal in most markets today. If you drive into a small town, you kind of get that reaction, which is it's fun, you know, once or twice, but you it is a bit of a downside if it was all the time wherever you lived whenever we've been driving like usually classical cars like a 55 chevrolet or something and you go to a gas station and people would want to look it's fun to pop the
Starting point is 00:53:16 hood and show them like look what i did you know because you've built the thing especially it's like look at the interior i did that um so i've never minded that but i can imagine if every but people try to race me in my fucking camaro some douchebag at the red light the other night wanted to race and it's like i could do the math you're gonna win look like what are we racing for it's not like like do you think i got a sleeper over here like like do the fucking math asshole you got a supercharger so i can imagine like anytime you're in a sports car you're gonna get that a little bit but that tesla truck is going to really i like i like how it looks i know it's ugly but what i would do is i would wrap it in a uh like a like a dark hunter green like the halo color like like that's on the
Starting point is 00:54:00 warthog and i i would like that and i And I would tent the windows out and everything. It's got worse graphics than the Halo 1 Warthog. Yeah, it looks like the Laura Croft with the square titties. Remember the Laura Croft with the square titties? It's that era. They're not aesthetically pleasing. But every video I see about it, and maybe it's propaganda,
Starting point is 00:54:20 it's like, look, the patina on every body piece is different. Yeah. I mean, owning one of those would be kind of fun, too. The patina on every body piece is different like yeah this i mean only one of those would be kind of fun too the patina on every body piece is different i don't care that it will absolutely cut your fingers off if you have your uh your hand in the in the lift gate back there that didn't bother me but not software maybe there's i don't know it is yeah because i saw a comparison where they took five other things with hatches, similar-ish, Volvos, maybe Acura, this and that, and they ate a carrot and maybe a cucumber.
Starting point is 00:54:53 Oh, two. Yeah, yeah. It's like everybody else. Why both? Well, because they have them next to each other, and the cucumber is more sturdy than a carrot, so the carrot goes first, and if it pops that, then it goes to the cucumber. If it's popping the carrot and the cucumber before the sturdy than a carrot. So the carrot goes first. And if it pops that, then it goes to the cucumber. If it's popping the carrot and the cucumber before the software says stop, then that means you're going to lose something.
Starting point is 00:55:11 Like, I don't know, maybe a big heavy man finger could take it, but a lady is losing her fingers. You ever look at your girl's hand and think, I could bite every one of those fingers off like a chimp if I wanted to, bitch. Every day. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:23 Absolutely. I warn her. When she gets out of line or tries to touch the remote she i'll remind her oh yeah you turned into that chimp that remember that remember that chimp got all that bad press and everyone was like this chimp just lost its mind out of nowhere and attacked this lady and then it came out way later that like that the chimp tried to touch the remote control yeah that the chimp was the victim yeah the chimp tried to touch the remote control. Yeah, that the chimp was the victim. Yeah, the chimp wasn't the victim, really. But they were, like, plying the chimp with tons of Valiums and wine and, like, fucking it up. And then after all that, you probably, like, wanted its Valium.
Starting point is 00:55:56 You can't just get a chimp addicted to Valium. It doesn't understand that Valium isn't always on the way. I think that one lady was fucking that chimp, and then her friend came over, on the way. I think that one lady was fucking that chimp and then her friend came over and that chimp saw that other lady as a potential sexual threat. Is this theory based
Starting point is 00:56:11 or just wild guile-ism? I think when you got a single white lady with a monkey in her house that she's giving wine and volume, you don't have to be a What do you think Jane Goodall was up to out there? You can learn everything you need to know about chimps is like she was gonna create the missing link yeah 30 days like real quick don't
Starting point is 00:56:30 put that on jane goodall that was a wonderful woman you ever see her that movie gorillas in the mist with sigourney weaver no you should i skipped that one i'll tell you right now i'm not gonna watch maybe gorillas in the fucking cry i love those bad monkey movies i wish i don't i don't think she was fucking that monkey because a chimp would be a They'd be a bad fuck. They have tiny little penises and
Starting point is 00:56:52 they don't smell good. You don't know. Catchy strays over here. Listen. Tiny penises and bad odors are not a big problem. You can still live a happy life. What do you go so far as to say that's an alpha male? One of your sponsors? Yeah, you guys have a sponsor to solve that, I'm sure.
Starting point is 00:57:11 Oh, yeah. Kyle and I are in the lab. Coming up with ways to make us as sexy as possible. Is your sex monkey enraged? I had a guy trying to convince me the other day that from Christopher Columbus's diaries he was having sex with manatees there's no fucking way
Starting point is 00:57:33 I bet what he's referring to so I bet what he's referring to and it's just a wild guess Columbus did write of seeing mermaids that they were not as attractive as he'd been led to believe and i'm guessing maybe somewhere he wrote he banged a mermaid and i don't i could not find a reference to actually having sex with a mermaid or a manatee zach can you look into this but i i think that's what he
Starting point is 00:57:58 was citing and he did so while we were driving to the arctic Circle and none of us had cell reception to police this theory. That's cheating. Columbus is a hero. And that's the end of the story. We need to do this whole show somehow to people who don't have internet connections. Is that true? Is that true? We'll never know. It's like it's 1998 again
Starting point is 00:58:21 and nobody has the internet. He 100% did not. There's no way he fucked a manatee. I don't even... How... I found the reference of him saying that they were not nearly as attractive as he'd been led to believe. They had very masculine faces.
Starting point is 00:58:38 But I never saw further experimentation. Can I see a manatee face, Zach? I feel like I always see them from behind. They're not lookers, but they're apparently very sweet animals. Very nice and friendly. Yeah, they are.
Starting point is 00:58:53 I would definitely push back on that theory, Ed. As I did. Lower me down, boys! That one's sad. It needs a little Columbus in his life. This is that one that was, like,
Starting point is 00:59:09 halfway into, like, bumping its whole head against that, like, accordioning, if you know that clip. What a cool animal. Yeah, that is a cool animal, but there's no way you could mistake that for any sort of... Santa Maria.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Yeah, humanoid creature, if you you got within maybe if it had some kelp on it and the waters were dark and you were in a rocking ship and it would oh I I see I don't know how either it's disgusting and not human like yeah there's nothing Zach found the quote and I'm dying to read it Columbus also violated humanity thinking it was a mermaid and wrote the experience was less than satisfying as the creature was quite manly he also thought the world was a woman and the garden of Eden was her nipple
Starting point is 00:59:54 this is just Columbus hate I don't believe any of this shit he was like discovering America and then he was like hold on gentlemen I need to answer a personal query discovering America. And then he was like, hold on, gentlemen. I need to answer a personal query. Throw down the anchor.
Starting point is 01:00:10 No, no. He's like, oh, really? You double dog? Like, none of this happened. This is the journal that was discovered by the campaign to establish Indigenous Persons Day or something. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 01:00:24 That guy was a millionaire. That guy was a millionaire. That guy was a millionaire with a fleet of ships on the cutting edge of technology. I can't believe that he's... I mean, he had all the native women to rape he could ever want. And he's gonna get a manatee? Yeah. Not a chance, though. Spice of life.
Starting point is 01:00:39 In this household, Christopher Columbus is a fucking hero. That's the end of it. He is a hero. I don't really know what else he was up to. He discovered the new world. There was a bit of slave tradery
Starting point is 01:00:53 that were going on. He did have that one quote about that AJ... In the 1400s, anyone who wasn't trading slaves was getting made fun of. It was square. You don't even have a slave. Are you a Frenchman? Anyone who wasn't trading slaves was getting made fun of. It was square. It's true. They were bullying all day.
Starting point is 01:01:06 Like, you don't even have a slave. Oh, you're a Frenchman? Next year, you'll be buggering manatees. I think that was one of those times where the French had a good reputation for being tough. Actually, when was the last time the French were super tough?
Starting point is 01:01:21 Napoleon? World War I? You need to see quite on the western front when the french show up it's dude at the end when the french show up i've never been more afraid if i if i didn't hate the german characters so much i was cheering when the french showed up it was like when when gandalf showed up with the rohirum and he's like the herald king stands alone not today that's what he should have said. It was huge.
Starting point is 01:01:47 They showed up with tanks and flamethrowers. And all those starving Germans got burnt alive and massacred. That was beautiful. I end up siding with the wrong team a lot of times in movies. But I don't think that was one of them. Because Germans were the bad guys. And when I saw those French with the flamethrowers, I feel like that's the last time they were doing some cool shit
Starting point is 01:02:05 you just shined a light for me on some of my ignorance why were the Germans the bad guys in World War 1 World War 2 I've heard a lot about but okay what did they do wrong for World War 1 was it invading France
Starting point is 01:02:21 okay they had those neat helmets that they shouldn't have got rid of though with the spikes on top that's one of our biggest problems militaristically is we don't see we don't see neat ideas in out in outfits and uniforms and make all our tanks eight inches taller to accommodate spikes yeah make them taller make spikes pointy have you seen the the dictator with sasha baron conan he plays like an iranian dictator or something he gets they've made his nuclear icbm they've done it the scientist is so fucking proud he's in there he's looking at it he's like this is a 12 megaton warhead we can strike straight to the heart of the great infidel
Starting point is 01:03:01 washington dc new york city he's like yes yes could you make it pointy on top because it's very round and blunt it's like oh no you see this is a re-entry vehicle this will be going into outer space sir this it can't be point ah i understand now i understand now you've you've shown me i'm wrong and then he like whispers to a guy and and they grab the scientist like drag him away. The next time you see the missile, it's pointing as fuck. Elon said that on the,
Starting point is 01:03:33 um, on the heavy lift vehicle or whatever, um, he was doing an interview and he's like, why is it? I noticed before it wasn't pointing on top. And he's like, yeah,
Starting point is 01:03:41 it didn't look right. I told him, make it pointy on top. Wait, you made it pointy on top just He's like, yeah, it didn't look right. I told him, make it pointy on top. Wait, you made it pointy on top just for aesthetics? Purely aesthetics. It in no way aids the aerodynamics when you're going that fast. You could even
Starting point is 01:03:53 argue it's not as good. You could even argue it's not as good. That's what he said. Kyle, you'll surely know this. The stealth fighters and the color, you could probably tell the story. The stealth fighters were originally kind of pastel. They found that that was the best way to hide visually the plane against blue skies, black skies, sunsets, you name it.
Starting point is 01:04:15 And then the Air Force saw it and they're like, yeah, make it black. Men don't fly pastel planes. Right. Yeah, make it cool. It's got to be scary. Shouldn't look like we got it from you know forever 21 i was gonna say the like talking about cool looking military stuff one thing that we absolutely dominated dominated as americans painting like shark faces on planes
Starting point is 01:04:41 no but i don't think anybody else was doing that at all. Maybe they ripped us off, but we were the ones who were painting scary shark faces tornadoes. I even like the sexy girls on the front. I think that's neat too. That's a bomber thing. Just a second to the sharks and the animals though. Think about
Starting point is 01:05:00 the dog fights and everything. You see that? I'm not going to kink shame you, but I think I like the girls more than the animals. You know that whistle on the bombs? That's just to freak people out. What? It's not the sound that a bomb makes. If you ever watch us drop bombs, they don't make a fucking noise. They put a whistle on that bitch.
Starting point is 01:05:19 Just to distract people leading up to the bomb? It's just to scare the shit out of you when the bomb's coming. That would work. Connect people leading up to the bomb? It's just to scare the shit out of you when the bomb's coming. That's a pretty... Well, that would work. I don't know what I thought it was. I was already scared.
Starting point is 01:05:32 This just seems mean. Yeah, it's a whistle on that bitch. It's like that thing you put on your hood to scare deer that doesn't work. Or taping a harmonica under your buddy's car so he doesn't know where it's coming from. Oh, yeah. Or taping a harmonica under your buddy's car so he doesn't know where it's coming from.
Starting point is 01:05:50 That's a good prank. Does it work on wives? Because that's funny. Oh, it works extra good on wives. You've done that to someone, Ed? I had somebody try to do it to me, but it fell right off because there was leaking enough oil that nothing was going to stick to the underside of that vehicle. I have seen it work, yes. That's really funny. to the underside of that vehicle. Yeah. I have seen it work. Yes.
Starting point is 01:06:07 That's really funny. That's a good car prank. Yeah. Yeah. I remember one of my friends had a, one of those deer thing. He lived in a very wooded area. This is back in high school. He had one of those like deer horns or whatever the fuck you like strapped to
Starting point is 01:06:18 the side so that it's supposed to keep them away. And like very soon after he got that and his driver's license like a full a full-sized enormous owl flew into him and he killed an owl he was we were at his house like i believe or like he was on the way back from something and we just happened to get to his house earlier and he's like guys my car's got fucking feathers all over it oh you hit a little bird he's like no like a great horned owl like it was like this thing could have picked me up and flown away like which is a sad bird to kill owls are majestic regal disagree i feel bad for like hawks and uh and owls to me are like the good birds the predatory birds something. I just, you look at a chicken
Starting point is 01:07:06 and he's just dead eyes. He's just a bug. He's like a beetle or something. I have no, I have no, he's barely sentient. I don't think much of a chicken. But when you look at those hawks, they're kind of looking around, like examining the world around them and reacting. A chicken seems to just,
Starting point is 01:07:23 the hawk seems like he's up there making decisions, planning shit outk seems like he's up there making decisions planning shit out like like he's he's he's the world changes because of him he's making that noise to scare the mouse that runs and then he's like there you are motherfucker and hits it from a kilometer away or whatever that chicken's just pecking or like that thing about turkeys looking up and drowning themselves i think that's true right My wife and I are getting older. We have vultures all over the property. It's insulting at some point. We'll look at them.
Starting point is 01:07:51 They're on the chimney. We're in the gym. Do you think this is happening? I can't keep this up much longer. Look at this guy's hobbies. We're in. We just need to keep popping back in. Soon the Nightwing will fly his last flight
Starting point is 01:08:06 it's like they were talking about this my my grandma texted me a picture like three hours ago of the windshield on her yukon like almost entirely shattered and it's because she said like a giant turkey like leapt off because they live in a rural area i'm very rural obviously just like kind of fluttered and then just exploded because they don't do well when you're going like 75 they just oh yeah just viscera you just randy johnson or grandparents you i feel like whenever you talk about grandparents i assign it to the same pair this is the same pair the southern miss Missouri pair. Yeah, I have two. No, I have three living grandparents.
Starting point is 01:08:47 Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so two biological. So they're. Must be nice. Must be nice. Someone linked me that clip from like a long while ago when Harley was on here and he made fun of your grandparents being dead.
Starting point is 01:09:04 And that was such a funny and that was such a funny that was such a funny clip you were talking about your dead grandparents and he was like oh I'm sorry I was so glad someone said that at me only guys would make jokes like that that's purely a boy thing
Starting point is 01:09:22 oh man love Harleyley shout out harley top j yeah my grandma's got to get her entire windshield replaced now so that's that's no good that's annoying especially when you live somewhere where it's like fucking safe flight isn't going to come out and repair it you're going to drive an hour i didn't even consider that that like i'm like it's not a big deal he does make a phone call insurance fixes stuff for or repairs replaces i think if it's bad enough i don't know my insurance company just makes a choice but i i didn't consider that they don't go everywhere oh oh go ahead i'm sorry it was almost a transition in topics k Kyle likes city life. He really does. He was bragging about how authentic his Mediterranean was like two shows ago.
Starting point is 01:10:10 He assured us there were like no non-Greeks in the kitchen or something like that. Do you remember this conversation? And I was like, again and again, Kyle really loves his DoorDash and all this sort of city life things that you don't get out in the rural areas. You're still here in the Atlanta area, right? Yeah, I've been for like six years or something. Yeah, I thought so. Yeah, it is. I'll say the food scene here in Atlanta, any kind of ethnic food you want to find.
Starting point is 01:10:36 We got great stuff. I was at a restaurant the other day that had bear paw on the menu. It was a Chinese restaurant. And so, I mean, I'm sure that's illegal but they had it and uh yeah so you can find anything here which is lovely was it good i i did not i'm not sure it was in season but was it expensive that's bad do you remember that it was it was like 40 odd dollars for one paw which i was was more expensive than most of the other things on the menu so yeah damn but not out of reach.
Starting point is 01:11:05 It wasn't like 280. But the Peking duck was the thing to go for there, and they did that very well. More places need to start serving duck. Oh, yeah. I disagree. Asians are doing that now. You don't like duck?
Starting point is 01:11:15 It's like greasy when I had it anyway. It's a little gamier than chicken, for example. Oh, I like it. I like that it's a little greasier, a little fatty. I just always get a steak it's it's going to be hard to beat the steak i'm going to a michelin star restaurant in a couple days and it's like there's no way i'm gonna get the fish or the chicken or the fucking game fowl or whatever cool thing they have i'm gonna get the steak every time i hardly ever eat i think i went
Starting point is 01:11:41 to a i always mess with the name ruth ch Chris or something like that three years ago. Prior to that, I was probably with Kyle the last time I went to a Michelin star restaurant. I mean, it is interesting how much like no matter how hard you try, red meat just dominates the other meats. It's just the best by orders of magnitude. Like a decent steak is better than like excellent chicken. Zach, can you show that picture? If I i was a viewer i'd want to see it when chicken is excellent it's because of a lot of other stuff's carrying the the load like like orange chicken fried chicken like it's not the chicken itself oh man that's a little grotesque eh there you go i didn't expect it to be so like when i buy chicken i don don't see any birds in the shape of it.
Starting point is 01:12:28 You ever eaten a chicken's foot, though? Yeah, I have. No, but I think I've seen it. Yeah, it looks like a chicken's foot. And unfortunately here we've chosen to look, I guess we're going to eat a bear. I kind of appreciate that they're eating. I'm sure somebody already ate the dick, right? That's the best part, probably.
Starting point is 01:12:44 Yeah, the fact that they the best part, probably. The fact that they're eating the bear paw. Do you break its little fingers off and eat those wings? Yeah, you hold the nail and suck all the meat off. I mean, sounds right. If I was going to eat a bear, I don't feel like this is the part I'd want to eat. I love the accoutrement.
Starting point is 01:13:02 Yeah, like a bear backstrap or something. Like there's got to be way better cuts of meat than this is. It's 40 bucks, Taylor. You get a bear paw and some seemingly raw carrots. What are the green things? It looks like the bottom of. Bok choy, probably.
Starting point is 01:13:23 Yeah, it looks like bok choy. Good eye. Oh, I come with bear sauce. Who could have seen this coming? Oh, we eating good tonight. This $40 worth of bear paw. Dude, that's like I'd actually
Starting point is 01:13:42 want to walk around eating at like a renaissance fair. That. That whole thing. A bear forearm. That's got to make you jacked. What the fuck is this picture? Yeah, you got to go to the advanced games after you eat that one. I'm looking at his badge
Starting point is 01:13:58 and like, what is he? He's a park ranger somewhere. Okay. I don't know how about that i guess goodness gracious i wouldn't want to eat bear how's the channel been doing guys y'all business good views are good everybody's happy oh it's solid i barely even look i don't know i'm always fascinated because i you know i've seen you guys do this kind of for a living for so much longer than most
Starting point is 01:14:27 content creators get to. I just think it's fascinating to see how it's grown, what works. I mean, are there like topics that you know if you land on something that it's going to perform better or is it truly you don't even look, don't care? The stuff people like enjoy the most is usually like silly, off the wall, like joking joking nonsense like just doing silly bits uh if a show flows well without having to like insert new topics because it's gone stale
Starting point is 01:14:55 then that's typically means the show was going to be well received but um when i followed it too closely i felt like it didn't help the show and it didn't help me emotionally. So now I just do the best job I can. Yeah. The only topic like, or, you know, who knows how many,
Starting point is 01:15:13 what percentage it is that like people seem to not like that much is like too much political shit because people will be like, I don't want to listen to you three retards. Talk about that shit. Talk about like Olympics full of animals. Or some such thing. I hold myself back on that a lot. Because if I went with my natural instincts, it'd be four hours of that horse shit.
Starting point is 01:15:35 I follow it all the time very closely. I do the same with sports. Specifically hockey. NHL playoffs are on right now. I'm not going to say word one about it because people don't give a fuck they couldn't not even in here in here people don't give a fuck for so long and they'll like get up and go pee and it's not what you talk about it's how you talk about it i think that uh and it's what's going
Starting point is 01:16:04 on for example if there was if something happened in the world of hockey that was such a story that it transcends the sport of hockey that's a great topic yeah that guy might not want to get into the minutiae of of little things yeah when that guy died um when that guy had the skate it is um kicked in the throat basically murdered yeah murdered. There's a fucking hockey topic. And never again. Yeah, never again. When Ovechkin breaks the goal record, we'll bring that up for maybe, I might get a minute and a half out of Kyle for that.
Starting point is 01:16:34 Maybe you're good. That'll be it. Although I do feel like I'm having women's basketball shoved down my throat all of a sudden, and that could just be that I watched the wrong short piece of are on instagram you absolutely are the powers that be are trying very hard to make um the wnba and women's basketball happen and they think they have their champion in this uh caitlin oh what's her last name clark person and i it is impressive how many jerseys she's going to sell and how many tickets she's going to sell. But here's the thing. At some point, people are going to sit in the seat and they are going to watch a WNBA game.
Starting point is 01:17:11 Right. And then they are going to say, okay, you have fun? Come back next week. And they're going to be like, whoa, I thought this was like WNBA week. How many of these games do y'all play? 97. 97. Well, I got my one in. they're just not going to keep coming back
Starting point is 01:17:28 they're not going to buy your your remix jersey I bet I think it's a flash in the pan because the substance isn't there as much as I derive the NBA for being a scripted nonsensical sport with people shaped they're abhumans at this point they like they are met they are they're not real people nobody who is playing the sport of the in the nba could even walk down the street and look normal for the most part they're so big and long and just weird looking that's not how that sport was meant to be played within those dimensions and shit doesn't make sense to me but it's still a fucking cool sport to watch sometimes when i see somebody actually do a crazy athletic thing, when I see a shot, a clutch shot, or a clutch play,
Starting point is 01:18:10 when we're down a point and we've got it inbound and they're playing D as hard as they possibly can because there's seconds to go. You somehow have eyes in the back of your head, get it to the guy who hits a tough shot, beating the buzzer. Then he hits the fucking three. You get the play, you hit the shot, and then you hit the shot, and it's like,
Starting point is 01:18:24 holy fuck, why can't you do that for for periods or whatever y'all play here whatever it is you know you got your finger on the balls you don't want to know the wmba is profitable there's this narrative that it's not profitable the nba had to fund it it's been profitable i read since uh after 2019. So I don't know if 19 was profitable or 20 was. But for the last couple of years, it was on the internet. I thought that they were basically a charity league that the NBA totally subsidized. Yeah, subsidized.
Starting point is 01:19:00 That's what I thought too. And they said that in 2019. The Economic Times says, and you know, this is honest because I didn't read the paragraph yet. It's also highlighted a hard truth that largely goes unspoken about the WNBA and many women's sports leagues. They aren't profitable. The simplest reason the WNBA isn't paying Clark more is that the league brings in just 200 million annually and relies on the NBA for some of its funding.
Starting point is 01:19:20 Hmm. Maybe I was wrong then. I don't know. I didn't make it up. I promise. I read it. I believe you. Yeah. I don't know I didn't make it up I promise I believe you I don't think you would make that up
Starting point is 01:19:28 that would be such an absurd thing to just I gotta sneak this one past the goalie did you write an article by Taylor yeah this is a subscriber to my sub stack are there any WNBA teams in cities that don't have an NBA team? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:19:48 We don't know if our cities have them. Yeah. I don't think Indiana has one. I don't know. I'm not going to Google it. Oh, Indiana. They think they could. It's a major city.
Starting point is 01:19:57 We did at one point, but I've never known somebody to be like, what are you doing tonight? I'm going to the WNBA game. You know what I do want to go to fucking nfc fights so the nfc um is some it's some lower league woody but but their seating is cool they have like an elevated area where you're looking down at the fighters like i've always wanted and they have the standard around and obviously it's a it's a smaller room because it's a lesser promotion. They put on 15 fights a night. It's cheap tickets. I was looking at what the
Starting point is 01:20:28 tickets for the Sphere are going to cost. UFC is going to the Sphere later in the year. I don't know what that means. The Sphere, the giant spherical LED building. The shape. It's a hotel in Las Vegas
Starting point is 01:20:43 with the most futuristic venue for performance like YouTube. I saw it in F1 racing. It was nearby and they did a thing. It's that thing that they can make it look like an eyeball or anything they want. The interior is absurd. There you go. The inside is more impressive.
Starting point is 01:21:00 They're going to have a UFC event there later in the year. The tickets are absurd. The tickets are absurd. The tickets were absurd. It was like $7,000 or something for the ticket I wanted. Too many sports do that. They realize that... I'm going to St. Louis next, Taylor. The real money is the whales.
Starting point is 01:21:15 Look at this. Wow. Holy shit. That's going to be cool to watch. What are they going to do? I hope they utilize this. I hope they utilize this for the fights well. I don't know if there's going to be anything up there i mean so what do you want do you want information about the fight do you want a better view of the fight like put it up there i'll tell you i kind of want to go there just to get high and just look at this ceiling if i'm being honest can you imagine dropping some acid and just chilling out and
Starting point is 01:21:42 looking at that ceiling just doing some sort of morphing kaleidoscope tie dye. Yeah. I think that's what's happening right here. If you look, it's like butterflies and owls and serpents and they're, I'm sure they're all moving. I think I, in my mind,
Starting point is 01:21:55 it was a reflection of the crowd underneath, but no, there's butterflies and things. No, that's a full on like 4k. Who knows what resolution? I don't know why I even said 4k, but maybe the panels are but
Starting point is 01:22:05 they're the panels so big he looks terrible at that size 720p would do it that's oh my goodness yeah yeah that's pretty cool but it's very expensive apparently to do an event there so the tickets are very expensive it'll probably i don't know i don't know what it costs there it's got to be way more than like madison square garden or something i don't know. I don't know what it costs there. It's got to be way more than like Madison Square Garden or something. I don't know. How would they do UFC there? On that stage right there you just saw? Oh, so everybody's watching from one side? Yes, that's what they'll do.
Starting point is 01:22:38 I looked at the ticket placing and that's how they had it laid out. The PPV, the television revenue has to be a massive disproportionate majority of what they receive than the ticket sales, right? So they have their ESPN deal. I don't know if it fluctuates. I don't know how that works out. But they have so many sponsors that I would imagine the sponsors come close to the pay-per-view numbers at this point because they cover everything with a sponsor. The ring itself will have
Starting point is 01:23:10 nine, ten sponsors on it. Then the statistics are brought to you by X, Y, and Z. They play commercials on the pay-per-view. They'll play ads straight up between rounds and shit. Actually, that's the undercard. Maybe they don't. I can't remember
Starting point is 01:23:25 exactly it's full of ads like there are ads they might be ads for future events but yeah especially if a fight ends early it just bombard you with ads they bombard you and so i would imagine that those do really well they just inked some huge bud light deal maybe 100 million or something like that um they're i I know that they... I was going to say they're bigger than hockey, but it's not that. It's something about their average attendance or something, but it's not fair because hockey does so many more games.
Starting point is 01:23:52 Who's the highest paid UFC fighter ever? I have to be Conor. Conor or Khabib? Because I was looking at a car the other day, and it was bought by Mayweather before the fight with McGregor which I guess that was a boxing match not a UFC match yes
Starting point is 01:24:11 and they said he made 300 million off that fight in the article which sounds insane but they lie in the boxing world especially but in the UFCfc a little bit too photos lie like rappers do to sort of you know boost their appeal you know who doesn't you know
Starting point is 01:24:34 who does the fucking opposite it's 50 cent 50 cent smartest sandbag in his earnings he he goes he'll be in he'll be in his he'll be in his rap video with like three mil cash. And then he'll be in court the next week. And they'll be like, your honor, he cannot like poor mouth here. Here he is with three. He's like, your honor, that's promotional money. That's fake. That's not real money.
Starting point is 01:24:56 You think I'm walking around like that? That's not me. All of his money is overseas. He's bankrupt at all of his companies. He didn't pay any of his debts. He just put his money overseas and he was sued and lost and that's where the bankruptcy came so he just i think he's wealthy he just pretends he's not exactly that's what you're saying okay yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly
Starting point is 01:25:15 that because i think mayweather is i think he's it's weird to say that he he's like fight to fight but i've heard people suggest his finances are like that because of his spending habits. Yeah, this was a big idea. He's had a bunch of them. The McGregor thing, I thought that they said McGregor made $50 million on that fight. I don't follow boxing, but there was a big fight last week, and the underdog won. A Mexican fighter beat the black fighter,
Starting point is 01:25:43 and it was the black fighter who was always saying no white boy will ever ever beat me i'll never let a white boy beat me was his like quote that they got him in so much trouble that guy got beat the fuck up by a mexican guy anyway mexican guy got 30 mil mexican guy i don't even know his name and i follow combat sports i don't know his fucking name but it's probably alvarez or gar. But you know what I mean? You're probably right. But the money is so much greater. YouTubers are dominant in fighting sports and combat sports. They just had UFC 300. Economically dominant or performance dominant?
Starting point is 01:26:16 Bullshitly dominant. It's something I say a lot. But it is true. YouTubers do very well in combat sports. You look at the Paul brothers, you look at, uh, you know,
Starting point is 01:26:27 there's probably other examples out there. It's very hard to beat a YouTuber in a fight. They, they pick their opponents. Well, what he's saying is that the Paul brothers have done a very good job of picking opponents at the tail end of their career or opponents. They have particular advantages over where that size reach or age in every
Starting point is 01:26:42 situation, really like a Jake ball beat. Um, who's funky fresh with the wrestling ben askren ben askren's a former world champion in two different um not just not divisions but organizations he was the champion of maybe nfc as well as bellator one fc thank you yeah that's what i knew was something like that and uh and he competed in the ufc briefly he beat robbie fucking lawler somehow former champion saw it happen um dude he got starched laid out unconscious because his thing is wrestling not not striking it's a genius move find a world champion that can't even strike i
Starting point is 01:27:15 i don't want to say that i can box ben askren but i he wouldn't embarrass me he's maybe he would i don't God, he looks bad, Woody. He looks so bad. Yeah, I believe I could get in shape and beat him in a fitness competition. Well, not one where you lift and move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I already did. Look, I've had better abs than him routinely.
Starting point is 01:27:39 Absolutely. Routinely, we have had better physiques than Ben Askren. All three of us here, he's that bad looking. He picked that guy because former world champion That he can stomp, stomped him Is that Tyron Woodley? Tyron Woodley, also former world champion in the UFC A good one
Starting point is 01:27:53 Beat him twice, KO'd him flat The second time they fought So he's really good at picking his opponents Well known, famous opponents Who he somehow can either pay to lose Which is why I think happens a lot Look at that guy That's like fight night for him who he somehow can either pay to lose, which is why I think happens a lot. Look at that guy.
Starting point is 01:28:06 Come on. That's like fight night for him. Dad bought all the way. There we go. Is this like right pre-fight, or is this like months before? He genuinely looks like... Can I just say, he knew a photographer was going to be there that day.
Starting point is 01:28:17 His hair looks photoshopped on. What's going on here? Whatever he ate yesterday was on purpose. He knew this was happening. I shouldn't have had enchiladas for lunch right before I came, huh? Shouldn't have had enchiladas for breakfast and lunch and dinner.
Starting point is 01:28:32 Does that hair be a DOT-approved helmet? I'm not sure. I'm just saying, this guy can't strike. He got stomped. So that's what he means by them having the record against UFC fighters. Like on the left? Come on.
Starting point is 01:28:47 But seriously, do look at Ben Askren. Now, look, his chest and shoulders and stuff look pretty good, but for a fighter, this is as bad a physique as you'll find. It's right there. Compare him to the other fighter, right there to the left. You know what I mean? The guy with striations in his armpit.
Starting point is 01:29:04 Right? Look at those traps on Jake Paul. Good gosh. I mean, he is like yoking them up real good for the camera there. Yeah, I could yoke mine up and they wouldn't mirror that. Yeah, they wouldn't do that. They don't touch it. My ears are at no threat of contact.
Starting point is 01:29:19 Also, don't take all the testosterone that Jake takes. Jake is a science experiment. He is 100% on every, not just chemicals. Not the problem child. He's got a Derek somewhere. You know what I mean? Like, he's got his own Derek working for him, I'm sure, who's just like, yeah, three milligrams of this,
Starting point is 01:29:36 four milligrams of that, and take these. What if I don't? You'll die. Take them. You can't take enough steroids to shoot three-pointers better than Steph Curry. That is not a performance-enhancing opportunity. But you can take beta blockers, and if you were as good as Steph, if two Steph Currys were out there, one's on beta blockers and the other isn't,
Starting point is 01:29:58 the one on beta blockers blows them out of the three-point competition if they shoot for long enough. He doesn't shake. He doesn't tremble. What do beta blockers do for you? Oh, they shake and tremble? Yes. I would have wanted them for shooting. If you're doing... When I would be on a bench rest with a long-range rifle, there would be enough tremble
Starting point is 01:30:16 just in me that I could see it. And my heartbeat also was making the crosshair ever so slightly. And a beta blocker stops that? Yeah. It takes the trembles out of your hand. Beer will do the same thing. They also ban drinking alcohol. Testosterone? Like you said, you can't take enough testosterone to out-shoot Steph Curry. Okay, good point. However, if there was another guy who was
Starting point is 01:30:40 maybe just a little bit below him, who was on all the tea he wanted to be on, he could shoot a thousand times a day in practice and then do it tomorrow and then the next day and the next day and it would be an advantage that steph doesn't have i guess okay i could see that because you think like if there was a you know steroid allowed olympics the top one percent doesn't go there because they have their own olympics? They're at the top of their thing. So you're talking about the people that are in the 90th, 95th, I don't know, 98th percentile. And I, that's where the question comes like, all right, are they going to end up outperforming
Starting point is 01:31:19 these athletes? Cause they're not starting from the same like level. When I was in high school, I was a pretty decent swimmer. And if I swam a 50-yard or 50-meter race with flippers on, I could go at world record pace. I could swim like a 21-second 50 yards, and I could probably do 18 with flippers, which was about the world record at the time. And it felt like I was shot out of a cannon relative to like my achievable natural pace. You could feel the difference between you and that guy.
Starting point is 01:31:55 That's pretty cool. Yeah. And I mean, I can imagine like the difference of I mean, it'd be like dunking off a trampoline versus... That was a sport. Remember that? Slam ball. It was a full check basketball league. Every now and then, a fucking knee would dislocate in that little gap
Starting point is 01:32:16 between the... A lot of broken ankles. Who would have guessed, right? It's a dangerous thing. Yeah, man. that's okay. All right. So I mean, I guess there really are no sports where there's not some advantage to be gained from-
Starting point is 01:32:32 Even in chess. I bet, so my biggest problem before I have something to do the next day, I can't sleep the night before. I have so much adrenaline from the, it's all i can think about like if i knew that saturday it's thursday now if i knew that saturday i had to fight i wouldn't sleep well tonight i wouldn't sleep well tonight i'm definitely not gonna maybe i'll
Starting point is 01:32:55 get i'll catch a nap tomorrow that's what'll happen i'll eventually get exhausted but then my sleep schedule is fucked up and i'm still scared and then friday night comes and i won't get any sleep like i'll be for shit the day I have to actually compete just because of that. But if I had some sort of chemical I could take that would put me at ease and I could instead be meditating in a room full of testosterone gas, just mellowing out, getting my heart rate down, and I don't know, conserving my energy and maybe trying to like just heal up and be solid and getting a full eight nine ten hours i remember
Starting point is 01:33:30 reading about a bodybuilder who would sleep it was like 14 hours a day or something like that because he that extra recovery was key to him like doing the thing he was trying to i think he's big i might have been the guy with the bench press world record that it was something crazy like that i think i read about that it was like sleeping like 11 hours a day every day a lot because like most of the time like sleep is the best time for your muscles to recover and obviously if you're blowing the fuck out of your muscles every day you just need more sleep and i guess most people will be like all right that's my eight hours time to lift again and this guy's like nah no, no, a cool 11. I've never been well-rested for anything important.
Starting point is 01:34:10 I want to know the mechanics of the guy that used a vibrating butt plug to cheat in chess. Like, how do you express knight to G4 through a vibrating butt plug? Very long sequences. He's not a speed player. I think it's his time.
Starting point is 01:34:28 He loves every minute of it. Did you see Magnus Carlsen being shown chess game? They take the board. They have two men board in front of them and the presenter dresses the board with the pieces. And he tells you when it happened. And Magnus will tell you
Starting point is 01:34:44 who played that game and when i saw that on twitter yeah yeah and i don't i don't like like he'll be like ah that's a game i played when i was 14 years old in the junior championships i'm playing against a hoho he used the fibonacci open and i responded with the calazar left and you can see right here about to take his rook and it's like what the fuck and then they show him another one he's like the audience knows that this is that harry potter game when the when the with the giant pieces from the first harry potter movie it's a pieces are in weird places and he's like huh well thus far it has been like world famous matches
Starting point is 01:35:24 bobby fisher and and koroskov or whatever the fuck and all of a sudden here's this harry potter game that appeared in the movie that you don't even see the board well he's like that would that would have to be a harry potter one is that harry potter when they're playing with it and And he's like, yes, that is Harry Potter. And he gave him like one clue because he was like, this doesn't make sense as who would set up this way. And they're like, here's a clue. It's from Hollywood.
Starting point is 01:35:56 And he's like, Harry Potter one. As if there's not a million chess boards and movies. It was incredible to see his recall. not only that the way the board is expressed to him because i look at it as this two-dimensional thing with three-dimensional things on top of it but i bet he sees something different he has to he has to see that and envision that board and its pieces in some weirdly complicated manner so that i bet a code to a man like that could be very simple you know what i mean it's wild how chess is sort of figured out right like i read like there's a there's a way to define the perfect move the
Starting point is 01:36:30 perfect next move there's not many of them there's one that is the best move to be taken and that a high level chess player like him will do that move over 90 of the time which tells me that i could beat him with a cell phone and a butt plug somehow. I don't know. I don't know the details worked out, but if you have a cell phone, you don't need a butt plug. Now I'm feeling judged.
Starting point is 01:36:55 This is just for fun. That's to keep me involved in chess. Little Pavlov's dog. There's a teammate involved. But yeah, there's remote control bubblings. I just don't know the mechanics of how they told them to do things. It's got to be a Morse code interpretation.
Starting point is 01:37:12 With vibration? I don't know. Why in your ass? If you were going to do it. You're wearing shoes. You have shoes on. Because they'll hear it. You have shoes on.
Starting point is 01:37:23 You know that old nonsense where they on like like you know the that old nonsense or they're like you can pass the polygraph test you just have to hope they don't they're not on the lookout for bloody shoes by stepping on thumbtacks it does seem like i can imagine maybe five not pins but like pegs that get actuated in a shoe and they give you a lot more information than above buffalo. Each toe. Right, yeah, sure. I think he's just wanting to completely nullify any chance of getting caught.
Starting point is 01:37:52 And it depends if he can do a thing and then get a response. If I can, I'm sure this isn't what he's doing, but if I put my index finger on the knight and he gave me a okay, alright, like the knight and he gave me okay all right not the knight then but it felt kind of good so i touched the knight again
Starting point is 01:38:13 kyle has an interesting strategy every turn he touches every piece on the board sometimes in rapid succession like this no one loves the game of chess more than Kyle at the end of every match visibly worn out look at him he's sweating right through that same area of his pants again can't get enough of chess I haven't played chess in forever it's a it's a fun game though and i don't know much about it at all he's pretty good at it he uh used to play on stream a little bit what was your elo or whatever your your right i was terrible i i lost to so many people dirty
Starting point is 01:38:56 beat me like i oh and then they put the perfect move in the chat right i i don't know i don't think they were very good i think that they had a tool but the thing right i i don't know i don't think they were very good i think that they had a tool but the thing is i i would have this choice between running out the clock and making a great move because the chat's helping me or making my own move which wasn't good enough and uh but it was fast enough and yeah they're playing with it it's easy to set up another computer right and like play against AI and move like, it is possible that I was losing to cheaters. I can't tell.
Starting point is 01:39:30 I think dirty. He's a, I played him twice. I might've just lost to him. Legit. He's pretty smart. But, uh,
Starting point is 01:39:37 uh, yeah. Anyway, it turns out if you just play against people in your stream, they're remarkably good. How about that? Yeah. I wouldn't trust playing a game against someone when they can just easily
Starting point is 01:39:49 pull up the cheats, which is called like chess.com. It's like, you know what I mean? It's like, oh, I want to just briefly tell you what's going on with Tarkov. I was going to talk about that. This is pretty shitty, what they've done here. Tarkov's a big video game made by Battlestate Games, a Russian company that operates out of London. And and long ago they introduced a version of their game
Starting point is 01:40:09 called the eod edition the edge of darkness edition which all of us who love the game purchase it's like 150 dollars 140 dollars for this version of the game 100 extra dollars and it's a better version it's not pay to win though they just get you they just don't make it so hard they make it so hard. They make it a little bit easier to play. And there are a few things. And everybody bought that version that loves the game. And part of that thing was the EOD version.
Starting point is 01:40:36 It says all future DLCs will be free. So when you're in an early access situation like I was three or four years ago, it's like, this is going to be a big game. This is going to be a multi-year game. This will be a game five years from now. Can I jump in just to help? But at the time, it's a beta game, and you're buying the game based on its future. Yes. And so the idea of paying that $150, I was like, I'm helping them further develop their game, and they have promised in return that they're not going to nickel and dime me in the future. They're not going to say, hey, we've got a new this, $5.
Starting point is 01:41:05 A new that, $10. It's like, I don't like that. Well, they got rid of the Edge of Darkness edition in January. They stopped selling it. And I was like, okay, that's fine. I've got mine. And eventually, you know, it was an early access thing. And they're moving very close to full release.
Starting point is 01:41:20 Like the part where they like wipe their hands and we're done. They've released a new version of the game. This one costs $250. And it gives you some pay-to-win shit. And so they want another $100 out of me to have the good version
Starting point is 01:41:38 of the game now, even though I was promised that nothing like this could even possibly happen. And one of the things is an offline co-op mode so that you and your friends can go in and play like a horde mode and it's like that's dlc that's what you promised was going to be free going forward and there's also a and they also give you this is a game that has ai in it as well as other enemy players and so the ai will blow your cover sometimes they'll be sniping at you and shit. There's a part of buying the $250
Starting point is 01:42:05 version is you can get a thing that makes it so that the AI doesn't shoot at you anymore if they're 60 meters away. So now you don't have to worry about there's a mechanic where there's snipers up on rooftops and stuff as you traverse the game, and they'll shoot at you from hundreds of meters
Starting point is 01:42:21 away, and it's like, holy fuck, he's gonna kill me! He blew my arm off! No longer. Don't worry about that. You paid of meters away. And it's like, Holy fuck, he's going to kill me. He blew my arm off. No longer. Don't worry about that. You paid the $250. And the entire, Tarkov has this very tightly knit, um, community of content creators.
Starting point is 01:42:35 Yes, they are all, people are changing their names. They're like, I'm not noise Tarkov anymore. I'm fucking, I ain't my name no more. Uh,
Starting point is 01:42:43 I'm just noise guy. I'm just noise. i'm just noise not noise tarkov fuck that shit people um pretty much uh universally all the content creators aren't just are saying what i'm saying this is bullshit they've lied to us we need to find a new game um i'm not gonna play that game anymore that that is people i'm really curious about the streamers that you brought up. You and I could each name half a dozen guys who have made a career out of streaming that game. If they pick up any other game, their audience
Starting point is 01:43:13 wishes they were playing Tarkov. Greyzone. Greyzone is one of the newer Tarkov clones. It's very close. It's still in early access. It's not released yet. It's not close it's very it's still in early access it's not released yet it's not just early access it's um like pre-alpha or whatever you'd want to call it like only early access for streamers and shit it would seem like i can't play the game but that game seems very close it's just a clone and there's two or three more something is going to knock them off now and and here's the reason this is all happening. They spent a huge amount of their money, not on developing, not on anti-cheat,
Starting point is 01:43:49 which is their biggest problem, but on promoting the arena mode that they dropped back last fall. And they thought this new game mode that costs $40, which we got for free because we had EOD. We didn't have to tack on $40. This new arena mode that's just, instead of this heavy, in-depth
Starting point is 01:44:06 storyline quest with thousands of hours required, it's just get in there and get after it kind of mode of their game. Very simplified, like 4 vs. 4 or 5 vs. 5 or something arena mode. It bombed. Nobody likes it. Everybody hates it. There's no way anybody's
Starting point is 01:44:21 playing it right now. I bet you'd have a hard time getting a match, and I think they wasted tens of millions of dollars, not just on developing it, because most of it was already there, but on promoting it because they were doing all of the big trade shows, all of the big like E3 and stuff like that. And they were showing they did range days where they'd have like spend three or four million dollars and they fly all their content creators out. They'd shoot machine guns and shit and do promo and stuff. And all that money just went poof and it's gone. And now they're trying to make up for it.
Starting point is 01:44:49 I'm sure there's investors that are wanting their paydays. It's, it's a goddamn shame because it's a great game, but that's a bridge too far for me. That's a terrible developing company though, right? Somebody had a real gem of an idea eight years ago, 10 years ago, whatever it was, you know, to build a shooter that was hyper realistic and the gun play, the gun knowledge, the way that you assemble your guns and your shields and stuff is so realistic and complicated. You practically need a tour guide to get started with it. And it, everything else pales in comparison after you experience the
Starting point is 01:45:23 complexity of what is real life guns and gun building. And since then, it seems like they haven't done anything right. You know, their anti-cheat is absolutely awful. What it is is too much of it was built into the client side. So you can't really detect cheaters if everything's happening on my system. You know, you tell me if you got the hit. I'll let you know. And that's how the software works by and large. You know, you tell me if you got the hit. I'll let you know. And that's how the software works,
Starting point is 01:45:53 by and large. You tell me where you are. I'm flying. Okay, if you say so. But that stuff needs to happen on the server side where there's more rules. And it is hard to tell the difference between, say, dropped packets between my computer and yours and cheat. So I just run a little faster. I don't cheat. But people run a little faster i don't cheat but you know people run a little faster people fly a little bit and i can't tell if you're flying or if you just drop some packets and zipped over there yeah and it's such a punishing game that just a there's a cheat that makes it so when your legs are broken you can still run and no don't worry about it oh my god it's such a big deal in the game when your legs are broken it's like well they got me they got me now like when you see a guy running through a field,
Starting point is 01:46:28 it's hard to hit him right in the head because he's running. It's like real life, trying to use a rifle. It's hard. Shoot him in the legs. He's crippled out there. He starts walking at the speed of smell or something. You can just pick him off. I don't know. The category of it is a looter shooter. So you go out into this field, you kill people and you bring back the stuff you want to have. It gives you money, makes your character better next time around.
Starting point is 01:46:51 Well, your client knows where all the stuff is. It knows where all the valuable loot is. So if your client is a cheat, it tells me, right? If it was all server side, like it was supposed to be,
Starting point is 01:47:02 then that information wouldn't be available for me to cheat. But here we are. Yeah, extract the cheat. That's what it is. So these are all the flaws in an otherwise the best available game. It's a poorly written game around a fantastic idea. It's so fun to play because in Call of Duty, you just kind of pick a gun and go shoot at people. In this game, there's this in-game currency that you are
Starting point is 01:47:25 always trying to accrue and make more of rubles and you use that to buy new guns and now you own that gun and it's in your like stash in the game but then when you want to go play you're like all right i'll take this gun in if you die i'm picking that shit up and i'm taking it back to my stash and i can use it later on or i could sell it for rubles myself and keep the money flow going so there's and there's also quests that keep the players um like like always grinding for more things and going to these locations so you're always bumping into people and having these very intense gunfights there'll be gunfights where like i kill your buddy and you kill my buddy and we're on the other side of a wall and i'll be like bro yeah can we just like rewind a little i feel like
Starting point is 01:48:08 things got out of hand there like your boy's dead my boy's dead how about how about we just go our separate ways i pick my guy's shit up you pick your guy's shit up and like i'm trying to get out of here i got some circuit boards i need to get back home and he'll be like dude i got circuit boards too um yeah let's do that and it'll be straight because he he'll legitimately like be honest about it and you'll both just leave and go your separate ways that happens so much because the the the punishment for us fighting and losing isn't worth it's like real life a little bit you'd probably do the same thing you know i love these stories because kyle in real life has maxed out charisma and he
Starting point is 01:48:45 uses that to his advantage in a shooting video game and uh it works it works i i feel like my autistic ass would get shot in the ass i wanted to uh i wanted to talk to you about the abu dhabi situation um listening so they do cloud seeding there and i didn't realize that that was how they got all this flooding. For those who don't know, cloud seeding is, I think they go up with an aircraft and they drop, it's like salt or something like salt into the atmosphere. And that causes the water vapor to get cold, which causes it to condense, which causes it to rain.
Starting point is 01:49:22 And it flooded that fucking city. and i saw a guy in a canoe going going they're canoeing through the streets that's great he just had a canoe just in case well you got to remember that's that place where they built like that that cool island with all the you know off the shore that looks like a palm tree or whatever. Like, it's probably for that. Probably a catamaran, actually. Anyway, with all, Abu Dhabi might have the highest concentration or at least top two or three concentrations of supercars in the world. That place is full of fantastically expensive million-dollar cars. What are the insurers going to do, insurance agencies going to do?
Starting point is 01:50:03 Probably go bankrupt i mean it is in general you know we've seen the market absorb maybe 10 crazy cars you know and a salvage situation a year and there are hundreds hundreds and hundreds of bugattis koenigseggs pagani's and you know you don't even worry about lamborgis and Ferraris. Can I ask a quick question? Don't even worry. So if you have one of these Bugattis or whatever, do you go to Geico to get that insured? Or is there a big insurance company that those guys go to that we don't even know about? There are collector car insurance companies in the US like Hagerty and Grundy and things like that. So absolutely there are over there. I don't know which ones provide insurance over there.
Starting point is 01:50:48 I know Lloyd's London is big in the area. And so there are different insurance programs and there are some guys that probably self-insure, which could be catastrophic. So if you looked at flooding, like the flooding that happened in Naples about two years ago, where Freddy Hernandez Tavares, who's been on your channel talking about his P1 that was flooded. You know, a good 50 big cars got flooded there that eventually made their way onto the market.
Starting point is 01:51:17 Here, we're talking about hundreds and hundreds of cars, maybe thousands that are of that caliber that there's no absorption for. So it's going to be wild. I mean, so there's, there was also flooding in Dubai, in Bahrain, there's it's, it's everywhere. And they received about two years worth of rainfall in 24 hours, which was only like a foot, but it was still much more than the infrastructure could provide. And they've got a ton of underground parking garages just filled with these cars. Wow. And,
Starting point is 01:51:49 you know, when you think about like ultimate value of a car that has been in a flood, you're talking about maybe 60 to 70% once it's perfectly fixed with no evidence that it ever happened. Whereas the salvage value is 10-20%. That Tron look is sick, by the way. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:52:11 It's a cheater way of wrapping cars because you don't have to do the edges. It's a lot easier to wrap a car that way than total color changing. These cars, that's a Gallardo Super Leggera or a 458. There's a thousand of those and they're all ruined.
Starting point is 01:52:33 But there's also multi-million dollar Bugattis, Koenigseggs and things of that nature. And there's two factors that happen to the marketplace now so the low-end stuff starts to be like all right well maybe i'm not going to buy an entry-level pagani because i could buy this one that was in a flood in dubai and try to do something youtube style with it but also we've now got to replace these hundreds of cars with existing inventory that doesn't exist so it could radically change the values of these remaining cars yeah that's the ai generated image but yeah yes i figured out when i saw the enormous cartoon toucan that swims right yeah there's good things i didn't see but that but the event the event door in the top left raft was that you know, the Dubai guy from Fruit Loops was there. So I think it was real.
Starting point is 01:53:26 Yeah. And that's an image as well. But they it's there's a ton of cars and nobody knows how they're going to get sold. They're not really U.S. eligible. So I just sold a Lamborghini that I'm, you know, to out of partially the thought of cashing in so that I can go shopping for something here and just find a way, I've had a bunch of flood anxiety. Are you seeking out a car because you think there's an opportunity? Because my mind was on the other side. How does a guy like you avoid this problem? No, we do seek the problem out because my strategy has always been to buy the worst examples of the coolest
Starting point is 01:54:05 cars possible and so i had a and these are freshwater floods which is considerably better than like the saltwater flood from the hurricane that flooded out freddie's already selling boys pitch it ed yeah well you want to get yourself the best floods on the market that's right that's right don't mess with the saltwater stuff. But sometimes they can work. It's a huge, huge thing. We tried to buy a Bugatti that was driven into the Galveston Bay as insurance fraud a couple of years ago, and that car has moved around a bit. But it's going to be a wild market influence, and that's kind of what I always look for.
Starting point is 01:54:46 How can you change the perception of these cars? Like for instance, so what I was really selling my cars for a couple of weeks ago, I was trying to sell this Mercy Eligo and a Spiker C8 Labulette that I bought from Missy Elliott a couple of years ago, because I was trying to buy that Bugatti that I mentioned that Mayweather had for a while. It was the Frankfurt Motor Show car, and then Birdman bought it, and then he gave it to Justin Bieber as a present, and then it got bought by the nephew of these scam artist racing drivers. So they gave it to Justin Bieber as a present, then he sold it to somebody's nephew. Yeah, so then that guy sold it to Mayweather.
Starting point is 01:55:20 He's liking his Bieber guy more and more. That's right. And then I don't know i'd have to listen to every rap song ever to say that i'd heard a little uzi vert song but apparently he owned it for a while and um yeah so it's like a terrible condition bugatti with a really cool backstory that would be fun to share at cars and coffee um but the guy's just the price is just stupid so uh now it's like well maybe i'll go flood car shopping in dubai because there are going to be a ton of them and it's unclear how they'll be able to liquidate you know we're talking about the supercars but like i mean
Starting point is 01:55:56 let's let's call that a million dollars for the supercars at least 10 times as many hundred thousand dollar cars it's like that insurance market is ruined. Like someone is probably jumping off a building or blowing their brains out over there, right? Like somebody's ruined. It's such a – I don't even know. Look, if you live in Abu Dhabi and there's an option for flood insurance, you would never click it. Right. Yeah, we ran into that in Atlanta in 2009.
Starting point is 01:56:22 There was this massive drought. Like Lake Lanierier which is the biggest man-made lake in the united states was down 30 feet and sonny purdue was the governor at the time and he had this thing where he came out had a press conference that we need to pray for rain and it worked and it flooded this city like you could not believe. I mean, there were so many. And you got to think, this is 2009. So the real estate market is in the dumps. And so I remember 2010 is when we bought our first house as a married couple, my wife and I.
Starting point is 01:56:58 And half of the houses had flood damage because it rained feet in the matter of a month right after this and i'm you know i believe god can do a lot of great things i don't know that he's responding to sonny perdue's requests for such things but that's it that's it and it was uh yeah so that's like a that's a pagani utopia that came out like yesterday and this guy's driving that's an ugly car it's hideous it is absolutely awful who's the market for that can you say the name of it again so zach can find a good pagani utopia so harasio pagani was a designer for lamborghini uh utopia like the ridiculous to say that's the greatest place to ever live or whatever uh and so it is uh he designed uh a couple of cars for lamborghini
Starting point is 01:57:43 the 25th anniversary coontosh and the Diablo SE30. Then he went out to build his own car company. He built a car called the Zonda that came out in 2002 that was incredible. It's one of the most beautiful modern supercars ever made. Then they made the Huayra that came out in 2014 as a model year in the U.S. And then this is their third generation car, the Utopia, which is, I think, a terrible regression in styling. If anybody can pull up a picture. It's hideous. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:58:14 Zach, can you pull up the car from Speed Racer? Because I'm getting nostalgic over it. Okay, so you're 100% around the Speed Racer thing. But some of... Hang on a minute. Grab a picture of Pagani Zonda. That's a Huayra, which is reasonably okay, but if you go to the
Starting point is 01:58:33 generation prior to that, look up a Zonda Chinque, C-I-N-Q-U-E. Oh, you can't say that here. Now we're demonetized. What do they call that Asian grocer near me? That's a heavily modified uh zonda there are uh more simplistic versions that aren't quite as this is that's a hot speed racer car that's a hot wheels car right there this is sick too but like like you don't want to drive this like i don't want to drive this well but and and to be honest. To be honest, there's a huge market of people who are spending
Starting point is 01:59:09 the money that their granddad worked really hard for that support companies like Pagani and Koenigsegg and Bugatti and things like that. A lot of them are now in the Middle East. Yes, so a lot of these cars are now underwater. Zach, show that car I linked in the chat East. And yes. So a lot of these cars are now underwater. Uh, so that car I linked in the, in the, in the chat,
Starting point is 01:59:28 that thing's always appealed to me. I like, are there any cars, Ed, where you sit in the middle and there's one seat, like a formula one car. So the McLaren F one, uh,
Starting point is 01:59:39 that came out in 93 was the first, you know, widely known car to have a center seating position. There were some Ferrari concept cars and things like that. They still had two seats flanking them, so it was a three-seat car. There are a couple of track-only cars, like McLaren just released the Solara, that is a single-seat car. Lamborghini had a concept called the Iguista that is a single-seat car.
Starting point is 02:00:02 But in general, the F1 is the one that you drive in the center. They made a speed tail limited run of cars that is the single seat car. But in general, the F1 is the one that you drive in the center. They made a speed tail limited run of cars that is the same idea. And that is currently an F1. They've made 106 cars, 67 road cars, I think. And they're worth 20-ish million for a road car. And then the race cars are kind of a little more than that. And those for, for people generally our age, you know, under 60 years old, it's the ultimate car.
Starting point is 02:00:34 And I think that there'll be a hundred million dollar cars before too terribly long, just because it is like as good as it gets. We borrowed one for a production that we did called car track a couple of years ago and I drove it around a bit and it's, it's, I mean, it's phenomenal. Obviously it's a nineties car. So the brakes are weak.
Starting point is 02:00:53 The exhaust isn't all that great, but it's, I mean, it's still as good as it needs to be for a car guy to justify its value, which is kind of the question of any of them. But it was kind of somewhat, some would say the first hyper car and it used a BMW V12, 627 horsepower. And it was the fastest car of all time. So 241 miles an hour that the Bugatti Veyron would eventually beat. Yeah. So they're plenty awesome. Yeah. That's
Starting point is 02:01:19 one that's a low mirror early car. And most of them are silver there's a lot of other interesting cars we've chased one for years uh that was owned by the the biggest drug runner for el chapo this guy named umberto ojeda it's a brown car with a red interior and gold wheels that was maybe a payment from some italian clients for some product but it went into mexico in like 98 and this guy uh got he he owned the car and he didn't drive it all that much but he got gunned down in his armored but also gold plated jeep grand cherokee and the vehicle got shot like 300 times but one bullet went in through the lock cylinder and hit him in the abdomen. And so he was able to drive home before he died.
Starting point is 02:02:09 And his son was like crouched in the footwell of the car. So he got home and then he died. And he never told anybody where the keys were to his McLaren F1. And it's been lost since then. And so I've made a handful of videos chasing that exact car. And, uh, it's been one of the more compelling storylines.
Starting point is 02:02:29 Lord whips. That's it. Yeah. It's a very interesting, uh, Instagram account to follow that one. But, uh,
Starting point is 02:02:35 yeah. So it's, uh, it's the only one in that specification, but we think it's probably still in Mexico. How much would that be worth if someone found it? I guess maybe it, it comes when it's that rare. Is it just come down to which Saudi chic wants it the most?
Starting point is 02:02:48 Well, there's a lot of big American car collectors that want them. And so if it was free and clear and perfect, it's worth $20 million. But it's been sitting for decades. And the recommissioning of a car like that is millions of dollars. for decades. And the recommissioning of a car like that is millions of dollars. It's got the hair on it of having been a drug lord's car, which some people wouldn't like, I would love. And then there's also the question of if you buy a car from the cartel, then it's sort of like you know that it came from or an ill-gotten way. And then the question is, well, will the US government seize it from you? And so you'd have to probably call the DEA if you even had it. And there's a lot of people that think I have it stored in my
Starting point is 02:03:34 basement, but I don't. That'd be sweet. It would be really, really sweet. As far as they know, you don't. That's right. We're going to maintain that narrative. And so you probably have to call them and say, all right, what do I have to pay you to not care that I have this car so that I can ultimately put a license plate on it and drive. But, um, it's, it was,
Starting point is 02:03:57 it was a while. They take money to not care. Yeah, absolutely. They take money to not care. Okay. Everybody does. to not care yeah absolutely they take money to not okay everybody does yeah it's true i mean no they'll let you sell the drugs if you just tell them you know how much of it's theirs but it's a uh yeah so we've been fascinated by the story of that car for a few years because i had a guy years ago off instagram just messaged me saying that it was available and for sale and you know we've always thought that if it
Starting point is 02:04:25 transacted exactly as in the circumstance as it is, it's probably a couple million bucks or $3 million, which if I sold everything I owned, I might be close to. So I'm, I find it fascinating in that regard because it is that ultimate Holy grail car. But I, uh, yeah, I think it's either buried in Mexico or long ago, it sold to somebody who will never tell us that. That's a risky business deal. It sounds like you roll somewhere approximately-ish your net worth, and then you need to find a few million to prep it for sale? And then you make a profit, I hope. Yeah, that's the gamble.
Starting point is 02:05:07 Exactly. And that's the kind of play that I've always done. I've done that many times with my net worth into cars and a lot of them have turned out really handsomely. ZEA's coming after you anyway. You just Thelma Louise that bitch off. That's it. And make sure you got the GoPros rolling.
Starting point is 02:05:22 You're not getting me out of the car. Wow. To me, most of what I've done professionally has been out of the motivation to be able to afford the next car. I don't really think I'm ever going to find this one, but it's been a fun chase over the last few years. I guess a month or so ago a guy contacted me claiming that he had found it on the isle of man and that it was going to be for sale for about two million dollars and that it was at the in the like a state of uh sir frank williams of williams racing but and this happens to me because i've been very public about wanting to
Starting point is 02:06:03 find the car it happens to me every few months, but this guy was the most communicative and the most, you know, it seemed reasonable, but he, uh, he could never come up with pictures. And that's always the thing is there's no pictures of this car since like
Starting point is 02:06:15 90. I had so many pictures when he first contacted you, he'd had, he'd have wanted them. Like he didn't want to, he'd be sitting in that bitch. You know what I mean? Like,
Starting point is 02:06:23 like if you're a car guy, his car guy, like there's no way he's not going to pop the hood and be like, fuck! I was fooled by the picture with the toucan. We've got huge birds over there in Abu Dhabi. That's the scariest thing
Starting point is 02:06:40 about the desert is the toucans. They just swim right up to you. Yeah. Then I saw the next picture. They stole my lucky charms. scariest thing about the desert is the toucans they just swim right up to you back yeah then i saw the next picture they stole my lucky charms on the uh on the other end of the spectrum um i've been watching kia boys content and uh most recently andrew callahan from channel 5 news on youtube shout out to him just doing the lord's work his channel's exploding just doing so well uh did like a 40 minute is he being about the kia boys guy used to be now he's obviously doing his own thing killing it he did a thing on the kia boys and so i can't remember what shithole city he went to but you know one of them and he's wearing a fucking ski mask in a car stealing
Starting point is 02:07:23 cars with the kia boys He makes the best YouTube videos. He's like, you know, I kind of feel bad. But they're at, he's like, we're like 20 minutes into a 40 minute video or something. He's like, it's at this point when I realized these guys are all underaged. Like he's riding around stealing cars with children and by that point by the end he like they take him to their hangout which is an old building they sit on the top of like little
Starting point is 02:07:53 kids would and he's they sit up there and talk about like what do you think about your dad if he came back around would you want to talk to him they're like hell no hell no he wouldn't have for me and it's like these are like 14 year old kids stealing kias and what they do to them you may not know so here's what the kia boys do and why there are kia boys and why it's a whole like instagram fucking tiktok sensation kias and hondas are so fucking shitty that you can go in there like in the movies and with a with your bare hands if you're a strong man but usually with a screwdriver or something, you can pop that plastic away from the column on the steering wheel. And then you just take like a USB, like, you know, the part that goes into not your device, but the other end. You stick that in the ignition and you fucking go.
Starting point is 02:08:38 You fucking go. That's it. Like in the movies, they at least get the wires out and start sparking. Come on, twist them together like none of that's necessary they just fucking pop that usb in the where the key should go because now they got the plastic shit off i guess and they start that shit up and they so the business model is you're going to sell them to someone who's going to do a bigger crime so it's mostly kids doing it so they get maybe a hundred dollars a car if that risking jail time but they're under age so it's juvie and shit but risking their lives too they don't steal the car like they're a fucking driver with fucking leather gloves pulling off a heist carefully like like mr wolf
Starting point is 02:09:19 from fucking uh pulp fiction don't think that they take the wheel and jerk it left, right as hard as they can and they massacre their way down streets having fun. Full of people all hanging out the windows like Saudis. Trash in the cars, running over shit. Then they rob the car too and sell anything that's in it. Then they sell it to a real actual criminal criminal
Starting point is 02:09:40 like going to do a drive-by or a robbery. Because the Grand Theft Auto people are make-believe criminals. Yeah, they are real real criminals they're causing huge problems for normal people they're just causing problems for those millionaires who own all their kids not every day work a day folk well what i'm saying is that it's murderers and and like armed robbers that they're they're produce they're providing cars for like getaway cars. Because they want to do their thing in an anonymous-ish car then drive away to their real car
Starting point is 02:10:10 and get... You know what I mean? You can imagine how this is going down. But it was wild to see how brazen and just not give a fuck they are about this. The United States of America! I think this was huge in Chicago. Everywhere. I think this was huge in Chicago.
Starting point is 02:10:26 Everywhere. I think it started in maybe Milwaukee or something. I can't remember where. But it's huge on social media. There's even Kia Girls. The Kia Girls shake that ass while they steal a car. You want to check out the Kia Girls? Are they also 14?
Starting point is 02:10:41 Because I'm nervous. Are the police? Yeah, they are. So the police just ignore this, seemingly? I mean, they do the best they can, but what are you going to do when there's armies of... They could do better if they're making YouTube shorts of them. They wear masks. They wear masks.
Starting point is 02:10:57 They call it jigs or bra. And they don't drive around. They go out on a joyride and then either sell their shit or crash the shit. Ed, did you see the Jigsaw Bra story? I'm sorry to pivot on the topic, but no, you didn't. Okay, Jigsaw Bra is a motorcycle YouTuber and his sort of
Starting point is 02:11:16 genre is zipping around at deadly speeds. The old Ghost Rider thing. Yes, he went from I forget where, Texas to Colorado Springs. And he averaged like 120 miles an hour or something just outrageous. And by the way, a lot of it is lane splitting. He lane splits at 160.
Starting point is 02:11:38 You know, I ride a motorcycle a lot. And, you know, he makes me nervous and not many do that. And, uh, anyway, they figured out who he was and tracked him down and he got in big trouble. And now he rides a much slower bike. Oh,
Starting point is 02:11:55 sure. Yeah. There was a Corvette guy doing that recently that was like baiting people into chasing him. It was like stolen ZO six guy. Yeah. And they found him in weeks. Every night he was going out with a 360
Starting point is 02:12:08 cam mounted off the back of his C7 Z06 and just He's got a blackout switch. The cop throws on the lights and all of a sudden the Corvette goes black. And it is black. All the lights go out. And then you know he's just dropped the hammer on that bitch because it's just
Starting point is 02:12:23 where'd it go? It kind of disappears because it's a nice time and like as soon as those headlights aren't on it anymore and you know with no taillights it's like and the cop the cops now the cops driving past exits and it's like how you know it get off on that one i know if you get off on that one maybe he's eight miles ahead maybe you know you don't fucking know he's so goddamn fast i like that shit there's a i've seen multiple youtubers who like make it their deal and often they'll they'll try to rob and hood it so they'll they'll do it when they see somebody else get pulled over they'll be like right leave him alone he's small fish if i can like drop the hammer and like do 120 past the
Starting point is 02:13:00 cop that's trying to pull over some like lane splitter or whatever i love that shit i saw the jigsaw bra video he's riding around i don't know mach one and he encounters a policeman chasing a motorcycle so he goes in front of the policeman and slows down and like you know like becomes the policeman's target instead and and he rescues the other the other motorcycle zips off and now jigsaw bra is the primary target. He flips off the cop, zips around, goes off the exit, does a quick U-turn in a way that a car would struggle with because he used the sidewalk to avoid traffic. And then he jams on the gas. He's going from 10 to 180 in a way that most cars can't. And the story just kind of ends.
Starting point is 02:13:44 He saved the other motorcycle from being chased by the police. You see the video of Red Bull, like getting all their toys out and having the drag race? Yeah. Yeah. All their toys included like an F-16 or something like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:13:58 And like probably some sort of electric, like supercar type thing too. But they had an F1 car. I don't know if it was the current one, but it was a Red Bull F1 car, which if you don't follow F1, is the top F1 car. The motorcycle was first at that distance
Starting point is 02:14:14 anyway. We all know that cars are faster. Just there's a little bit of time sometimes where the bike has it. Yep, exactly. I'm going to step to the restroom, let you guys do some ads, and I'll be back. Yes, sir. This episode of PKA is brought to you by
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Starting point is 02:20:44 I was worried y'all's sponsor lineup wasn't going to look like a go-go in-flight search history from P. Diddy's escape flight. You did not disappoint on that one. Wow. What do you think sponsoring this shit? This is the rare
Starting point is 02:21:02 night we didn't have boners. This episode is brought to you by TurboTax well I mean you could say that my sponsor lineup sounds like you're trying to sustain your pyramid scheme long enough there's still subjects to acquire but man that was something man the best part about Lock and Load is
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Starting point is 02:21:50 But my lord, there is no such force. We have sold tens of thousands of bottles. We have sold a lot of bottles of cum pills. When we came up with this a few years back, I think it's been hilariously successful. I tell people I'm in the jizz biz. It's what I do.
Starting point is 02:22:14 We're in the jizz biz. We're all about it. We're steaming, man. This might be an overreach. I drink more cum. If you were to estimate the percentage of your household income personally that comes from
Starting point is 02:22:28 the results of these pills. Oh, I wouldn't care. Now you're inquiring into my porn channel. I don't know. It's booming. The sales. I also sell sex furniture. So that's our next venture. We're going to get into sex furniture so that's
Starting point is 02:22:45 that's our next venture we're going to get into sex furniture a non insignificant portion of your certainly yeah it's a piece of the puzzle wow some people could live off that what was I going to say
Starting point is 02:23:01 oh I've been watching woodworking channels recently production quality is out of this world these guys have the voice over What was I going to say? Oh, I've been watching woodworking channels recently. Production quality is out of this world. These guys have the voiceover, the professional audio equipment, top-end photography. But the woodworking is getting frustrating. The formula for a woodworking channel is to bust out projects about weekly. So what they do is they buy a very expensive slab of wood, take it to somebody's shop that has a giant drum sander,
Starting point is 02:23:30 and then pour epoxy on it and call it furniture. And sometimes they outsource the base, right? Maybe they partner with a metalworking shop where they find an actual woodworker who can connect two pieces of wood together. I'm a little frustrated by this. Sometimes they literally just take this 2500 slab of wood looking amazing covered in epoxy and just hanging on the fucking wall and making a video and i'm like at first i was amazed by video three i'm like you gotta be kidding me there's
Starting point is 02:24:00 hardly any joinery in your woodworking channel i got got super into it. Um, into those videos. Uh, that's when I was thinking about making a table myself because I think they look cool and I did want a coffee table like that, but they're so overpriced. It's like I'm doing the math in my head. I looked what the epoxy costs that the good and you know, the special clear kind, no bubble shit that they use.
Starting point is 02:24:21 It's a little expensive, but it's like $140 to do the job or something. And, but then the slab of wood can be expensive, but it's like 140 to do the job or something and but then the slab of wood can be expensive but it's like you're charging double you're trying to double and you did woodworking that i can do like it's basic basic basic wood it's wood shop woodworking it's it's you're selling these resin poor tables with the fancy colors and the live edge sometimes leds i like the live edge ones myself. Yeah. I saw that too. I have a collection of car keys over here of broken car
Starting point is 02:24:51 keys from different cars that I've sold or owned or whatever. I was like, it'd be super cool to make one of those tables and bury all the car keys in the resin so you could see it in there. I've got a bunch of other broken car parts obviously that we could mix in there might be something with the license plates feels heavy but yeah um but i uh but then i saw like yeah they charge thousands and thousands
Starting point is 02:25:19 of dollars for these things and i guess oh yeah,000, 18,000? Thousands and thousands sounds like three. 18,000, $30,000, stuff like that. Yeah, those big boardroom tables are $20,000. Yeah, like a boardroom table. Imagine a boardroom table that is a four foot wide slab.
Starting point is 02:25:39 Usually it has to max at four foot because that's the size of the drum sander. Okay. Level it out. Without that, it becomes... Well, it would take actual woodworking talent to max at four foot because that's the size of the drum sander. Okay. Yeah, so it's going to level it out. Without that, it becomes – well, it would take actual woodworking talent to make it full. Yeah, you might have to build a gym. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's really interesting to see.
Starting point is 02:25:57 That, I think you could make money making those, but I always say you could definitely make – like a whole business is ready-made. Just make it sex furniture because it's so overpriced in the end the uh like when you look online at what it costs and the and you look at what it's made out of it's cheap shit being sold at three times what it costs it's crazy a couple of hours in what seems like really basic leather work right like something you might use on a weightlifting bench like Like you need that level of talent. This is an automotive leather work. This is something less than that. And, uh,
Starting point is 02:26:27 that and some two by fours and $750. Would you say that sounds right? $1,200. That ballpark. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like for the sex furniture.
Starting point is 02:26:38 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For like spanking benches or, um, or, um, like St.
Starting point is 02:26:44 Andrew's cross or, um, does that look like an X or a cross? It does. The St. Andrew's cross. Does that look like an X or a cross? It does. The St. Andrew's cross is the X-y thing. I don't know who St. Andrew was. Must have been the kinky motherfucker. He's kinky as fuck, yeah. They probably tied him like that and disemboweled him or something awful. And he praised the Lord. That's why he's St. Andrew.
Starting point is 02:27:00 The saint of butt plugs. Oh, that's the saint. Great at chess. That's great. say Andrew. The saint of butt plugs. Oh, that's the same. Great at chess. It's great. Callback. Okay. Oh yeah. It's always so overpriced.
Starting point is 02:27:11 Um, like, like a good, like spanking bench or like bondage bench is like $1,200. I think something like that. Way too much. I had a car question in the, I'm sure,
Starting point is 02:27:22 you know, the automotive YouTube community and maybe even attend the same events from time to time. Sure. Does the social ranking include driving talent? Does anyone care about that? That's a great question. I, the no is the very quick answer. There is there, there are a few channels that are well-known racing drivers that had a resume in this prior to engaging in social media. And like I'm sure you've experienced like what you just said, the woodworking content has gotten so high quality, so high investment that it means that the genuine woodworkers that were just setting up a GoPro and time-lapsing something can no longer compete, right? And so now you're getting these companies like Hagerty that will come in and just pay racing drivers and proper automotive journalists to make YouTube videos, and they'll spend $20,000 on a video that could barely make a few hundred dollars. And that's what traditional YouTubers
Starting point is 02:28:26 are competing with. And so there is absolutely a world in which that we now live in that you cannot just get away with being there and making consistent content. And the competition that we feel is high because of it. So we don't have gatekeepers that are like, hey, if we're having a dinner at SEMA, that you get a better seat at the table if you happen to have been a good kart racer because that doesn't really exist in the 10 years ago car YouTube world.
Starting point is 02:29:01 But man, to start one now, it's wild. And fortunately, the VinWiki content model is generally the best moments of everyone's automotive career. So every day we've got somebody telling their best story from their history in cars. And so that does well, like a podcast would relative to a vlog style channel where I'm just out there trying to be interesting every day, which I would have no interest in. So I watch videos on your channel, right? Now, you, Ed, are a very good storyteller, a professional communicator. But you have other people on your channel who probably aren't you. How do you set them up for success to tell
Starting point is 02:29:45 their story well? So yeah, generally my job is turning people's ramblings into a cohesive story at its essence. And so generally what, what'll happen is they'll sit here and I'll say, tell me what happened, hoping that they've thought about this a little bit before they show up. And in most cases, they have. And it'll involve a lot of confusion and stuttering and things like that. And we'll edit that and cover it with pictures and things. And then we'll build an intro and an outro later. Because most people's really good stories are only like three minutes long, because that'll say how long you can keep somebody's attention.
Starting point is 02:30:25 But for the sake of YouTube and generally the way the audience wants it, I need them to be like eight to 12 minutes long. And so we've got to add context and we've got to add details. And so the interview questions that we end up trimming out are the way we turn somebody's, hey, this happened the other day, into a concise but still entertaining form of its story. So like today's video is about a guy who organized car get togethers in Nashville, but they got interrupted by the street takeover guys that would just like invade a space and start doing donuts in stolen cars and then crash into stuff and hit people in the crowd and then try to take off and get chased by the cops. And he ended up getting arrested as the organizer of the event because these people showed up to his car show and it's performing well. It's at 20,000
Starting point is 02:31:15 views an hour right now. And that's a great outcome for us. But it's again, like if that guy or me or anybody else tried to say the same quality of material every day, that doesn't work. But him sitting here, I was able to say, all right, well, this happened. All right. Well, we need to know a little bit more about the venue and about what the cops were doing at that point, how they ended up catching you, what that was like. And then we build that into hopefully the most compelling version of the story that exists. Cool. Cool. I was wondering about that because I'm like, why is the car industry filled with compelling storytellers? How is this happening?
Starting point is 02:31:51 Well, used car salesmen are generally good storytellers because it's about building a narrative that ends up in the right place. And that's where, you know, when I tell- This is John Boyd's car. That's right. Exactly. Yes. And I think John Boyd's car is better than any other LeBaron, and that's why we're here to talk about it. And so I think that anybody has an interesting story. Anybody probably has five interesting stories. When you start getting past that, it gets real boring. And so we're now, I don't know, 2,500 car stories in and about 2 billion views. And that's a pretty wild thing to look back on.
Starting point is 02:32:31 But what I'm most proud of is that these guys' top moments are sort of immortalized in the forever world of YouTube. And it creates a good long tail in terms of viewership. So people are still watching the videos that we released five, 10 years ago. Well, not seven years ago, we started. And I think that hopefully that lasts forever, not for the sake of revenue, because revenue is negligible at that point. But for the fact that our storytellers are ultimately very proud of the product that we do,
Starting point is 02:33:03 and it's not hugely interrupted by sponsorships and things that we have to do to keep the lights on here. But yeah, so that's how it works. It is a good video. It's a good video business to be in, I should say. Right. Because like this show actually has a pretty good long tail. Better than you might guess. Because we talk about current events like rain and Abu Dhabi and people watch old PKA's, which is cool.
Starting point is 02:33:24 But I watch a lot of politics more than I try to talk about. I'll see a video that's four days old and be like, pish posh. This what is this a history channel? Yeah, like it's like I wanted to know what was happening in Israel now. Like I don't I know what I know was bad yesterday. Show me how bad it got today. Did they burn the children? Did they put lemon juice in their eyes first?
Starting point is 02:33:48 What did they do today? Like, did they make, are they throwing Yamaka shurikens? I mean, a star of David shurikens now, like, like I never know what to expect.
Starting point is 02:33:56 I want to know the most up to date thing. I mostly watch the news and, um, things about, uh, like old timey fighting. Like I've been really into Texas Rangers versus Comanches and Redcoats versus Zulu.
Starting point is 02:34:10 That's been my thing this week. I'm a big fan of the old movie Zulu. If you've never seen it, it tells the true story of Rourke's drift, maybe. It was a mission in Africa that there's maybe a couple hundred Redcoats defending. An engineering officer was leading them, uh, and maybe another officer, but,
Starting point is 02:34:28 uh, they were surrounded and attacked by thousands of Zulu and it for days, thousands of Zulu. And they had those, I think they're Martini Henry rifles. It's like a 45, 70 big fucking chunk of a bullet and uh the rifles already crazy long but then they got that bayonet on the other end so they've got a spear and a
Starting point is 02:34:53 breech loading rifle breech loading so you pull the thing in the bottom and the breech opens the top you slide one shell in close the thing in the bottom there's not a bolt but there's a you know a little bit like reach from the bottom it comes from the double barrel shotgun but one no that it doesn't the gun doesn't break in half when you operate a lever underneath the trigger guard and the breach opens and you're able to slide a bullet into the chamber and then when you close it it locks and you say the name slowly so zach finds a picture a breach low a martini henry rifle um that that would do it i think it's 40 45 70 or something like that it is a chunk of a bullet and the zulus start they can see them a thousand yards away or something like that really far and they come in waves just waves of spears
Starting point is 02:35:39 and shields they have these big shields that are oval shaped they cover their whole bodies and they've got a spear, a short spear that's three feet long or something like that. Yeah, that's it. For days, they fought. Every man has been shot. The medic has been sewing people up for days. The movie's good,
Starting point is 02:36:00 but the true story's even better. Yeah, that's what they look like. That's how these guys were dressed, fighting in the African heat. Oh oh that's a terrible idea oh i'll be the only one in shorts that's cut them all florida man there's a great scene in the there's a great scene in the movie where they get into volley fire so they have a front line of men on their taking one knee right like imagine 10 guys that's it okay so you got the front line like like like taking one knee and you got the line behind them and there's a third line that you can't see that's over to the left and they they got these guys in the middle they they
Starting point is 02:36:34 pop up and down as they as they're commanded to fire so it's like volley fire in the first rank and just 30 black guys die and then like they start loading second rank stand fire 30 more. And they just keep repeating this. And you see these bodies heaping and piling up in this Shaka Zulu. We're talking about the movie. No, that's no. This is just Zulu. Sorry.
Starting point is 02:37:00 I thought maybe you left it out. It was not. Yeah. Shaka Zulu was the um the leader's name like leader who was you know bringing all the tribes together uh it it's it's really cool that movie and the history of it is too because i don't know they follow they talk about the ptsd that some of the guys had from it and all this other shit but they i don't remember how many they killed it was some huge number ptsts oh the brits won i'm sure both sides but okay yeah zulu right yeah yeah i could have guessed the brits won that with the guns no no no no very that like the week before a force like 10 times
Starting point is 02:37:39 larger had been massacred by the zulu you got to keep in mind the Zulu are 10,000 strong or something, and the Brits have 200 men, roughly. There was a much larger force that had been destroyed. Even though you have the guns and the ranged weapons, that's scary. They're in a mission that they've got
Starting point is 02:37:59 sandbags and barrels and stuff. It's not a fortified position, exactly. It's not a fortified position exactly it's not a fort it's it's a mission that um that's been converted just because they're coming they're coming they're coming i saw a pretty cool video that explained the british warfare like revolutionary war times and uh in u.s schools we were taught that the redcoats were just morons with brave but stupid fighting tactics etc etc and they're like actually it's not quite as dumb as it sounds like i just thought that there was no upside that it would just fire into the crowd you'll guarantee to hit it's easy as that and
Starting point is 02:38:37 he's like you know when you do have a pack like that um communication is greatly increased. They had a top-down fighting organizational structure. The officers were able to tell their people what to do. Also, people didn't retreat and quit in the same way. When you're there with your pack, what, you want to run off and be the solo dude? That's suicide. Instead, these guys would fight practically to the last man because they were there in their group. And then, of course, there's like efficient blasts of volleys that that the commander can direct into the right place and be effective with. And I mean, I'm not going to pretend it was better than the guerrilla warfare that we used to win.
Starting point is 02:39:17 It was the fact that we used both and they only used one. It's not as if we weren't lining up with them and having those big field battles. It's not as if we weren't lining up with them and having those big field battles. It was that in combination with that, there would be snipers and trees shooting that guy who was giving the orders, causing confusion in the ranks. I feel like elementary school Woody was taught that the redcoats were just dumb, you know, and didn't think of hiding behind a tree or, you know. But no, OK, I get it. There were no radios. There were no command structures and people were apt to flee and we probably lost a lot of battles but it led to a war that we won and we only i think
Starting point is 02:39:53 the death toll from that is so minuscule it's shocking like i think 9-11 was worse than the revolutionary war there's no way can we fact check that zach i 3,000 people died on 9-11, right? It sounds right. Roughly. I'm going to call it 3,300 on 9-11. I'm going to include all the planes and the Pentagon, which didn't happen. Yeah. You got to include that. Those are misses.
Starting point is 02:40:14 The Pentagon thing didn't happen. I'm guessing. And the smallest building, seven. There's just no way. There were. Well, Zach's going to Google it up. I know that the Revolutionary War wasn't like fucking Civil War levels by a long shot or
Starting point is 02:40:28 World War I or some shit, but it's gotta be a lot of 9-11s. How many U.S. casualties in the Revolutionary War? That's the number we're looking for. Yeah, because the British were... 25 to 70. They were not keeping good track. But...
Starting point is 02:40:43 68... It says 6,800 killed in to 70. They were not keeping good track. It says 6,800 killed in battle on the American side. 17,000 from disease. I'm not counting the disease. If you count disease, then we're going to 9-11 all those cancer victims in. John Stewart's not preaching for
Starting point is 02:41:01 nothing, folks. 9-11 times 1,000. Grandfather, folks. 9-11 times a thousand. Grandfather in the cancer 9-11. And what does that gain to? 9-11 times 27. The thing about the disease, Kyle, is a lot of those were from gunshots. Right?
Starting point is 02:41:15 You get a wound and you die later. That's not true. You know, I just said it. What would I? He would have said it. He shot me with a flu bullet. Oh, no bullet no no no it gets septic which i think is a thing
Starting point is 02:41:29 doctors that ain't what they're talking about talking about the flu and colds and the plague and whatever the fuck dysentery some of the old timey diseases whooping cough kennel cough kennel cough
Starting point is 02:41:44 some of them had worms i guarantee they all had worms like i bet they were all like i heard that they took their ivermectin in your full account you know what's impacting impressing me here is i didn't know delete those words about ivermectin yeah i just saw the fda guy talk about it and say that ivermectin has no he said that ivermectin looked promising for a short period of time but it has no effective outcome for covet testified in congress and this is recent like within the last three weeks so i don't know what that's tweets were about. Yeah, I remember when they took the middle-of-the-road stance
Starting point is 02:42:27 across. They said, oh, yeah, ivermectin probably won't show any long-term advantages. That's not what they said. They said, this is horse medicine, you dumb right-wing idiots. This is horse worm medicine. Quick, get the TikTok bandwagon together to mock anyone who wants to take medicine.
Starting point is 02:42:43 That is literally what they did. You're medicine. That is literally what they did. I thought we were talking about the FDA. Everybody was together on it. They had to delete their fucking tweets because they were so ridiculous about ivermectin. Look, don't eat it. Don't eat it. I get that. Anybody who's out there eating horseworm medicine,
Starting point is 02:43:01 just straight out the tube. I bought some ivermectin last month i have a horse though you're talking a lot man i don't know you might need some more yeah you need just just you take a little bit i take it anally it a little bit goes a long way that way i bet it does that's probably where a lot of the worms are that's definitely where mine are there's this uh this parasite you can get i think you get bitten by a fly or something it like lays an egg in you or or uh or maybe it's that i think the i think that a bug eats another bug and then the first bug ends up in wheat or something. Anyway, you get this worm inside your body that is like meters long.
Starting point is 02:43:48 And it will come one day, finally, after being infected for a year or two, this blister will appear on your shin. It'll start like a pimple. It'll start getting worse and worse and worse. It's the worm. He's coming out to see the world. And the way you get rid of this guy is you take a stick
Starting point is 02:44:07 and you wrap it around his little head and you twist it a little and you wait a day and you pull a little more twist a little more because you can't pull it's it's not you can't pull now you got a big worm inside your body that goes all the way to your aorta or something like that so for like a week you're rolling and pulling this like seven foot worm out inside your body that goes all the way to your aorta or something like that. So for like a week, you're rolling and pulling this like seven foot worm out of your body. But wait, if you grow a seven foot worm, that thing is consumed a lot of
Starting point is 02:44:34 like, this is a weight loss plan you're describing. It's not a tapeworm, you're talking about a cardiovascular worm? It's moving around. It's not without risk, but the point is visible abs. It's not without risk, but the point is visible abs. It's not meant to be in people. Would you swallow a tapeworm
Starting point is 02:44:55 if someone told you it had medicinal... If they said, look, this is the new thing. The ozempic old fucking tapeworms now. We grow these tape fucking new. We eat the tapeworms now. We grow these tapeworms. We grow these tapeworms from a tiny tadpole or wherever worms come from. Eggs, whatever.
Starting point is 02:45:13 They eat nothing but pure media. These aren't filthy worms. Obviously, I do my research on Twitter and YouTube first. You get a good worm. You're a good worm guy. You're a good worm guy. He gives you the worms. If you guys can sell pills
Starting point is 02:45:28 for ejaculate, if you think you could not sell tapeworms for weight loss, you are out of your mind. That would ruin our credibility. I don't know if the tapeworms work, but if they do... Imagine if
Starting point is 02:45:44 the tapeworm ate 300 calories a day. That's a thing. People think 300 calories is not a lot. That's the difference between a gain day and a loss day. That's the difference between a good meal and a bad meal, too. That's enough butter and sauce to make your meal delicious now. That's the mayonnaise on your sandwich so it isn't dry that's the fucking butter in your mashed potatoes that i would absolutely invite
Starting point is 02:46:12 many parasites into my body if as long as there weren't any like side effects i don't want to feel moving around in there you know what i mean like don't get rowdy no wait where is he exactly he's in my stomach i'm worm curious i wish we had multiple stomachs like a cow and and he could be in more worms yeah so i had more stomachs now you just be well more stomachs is more worms and i could and i could process you know uh cellulose so i could eat grass and you could eat grass and run into the cut would you do that if i had multiple stomachs i could as a survival tactic. Oh, survival. Yeah, I would like to be, I feel like that would be an evolutionary benefit. If you had a second and third stomach that your body only used if you ate grass and stuff.
Starting point is 02:46:52 But now you could be an herbivore grass man if you needed to in dire straits. I don't think you could support a human-sized brain with grass, right? Cows? Cows? Cows are retarded. Well, that's just insulting to me. I've been around a ton of cows. A ton of cows. First of all, I have two.
Starting point is 02:47:16 They're sweet, but they're not right. Let me tell you how smart cows are. I can't wait for this debate. The intelligence of cows. Bring it. Bring it. In this corner, we got Kyle arguing that cows are intelligent beings I can't wait for this debate. The intelligence of cows. Bring it. In this corner, we got Kyle arguing that cows are intelligent
Starting point is 02:47:28 beings and Taylor who says they're dumb. I've never been more confident at the beginning of a debate. Our cows would escape through all sorts of fences and shit. They would get out. They would go all the way to town. At town, next to the highway,
Starting point is 02:47:44 fucking state patrol call. your cows are up here about to cross highway 57 and get obliterated okay and and so i'd go up there you can go to the convenience store buy a snickers bar and get home i go up there and i'm talking about this is like three miles from home i gotta drive like down the road so i gotta go this big long long way around. I get there, and there they are in the field. I get the shotgun out, walk out in the field, and go, hey! Get back home! They know the pump of a shotgun
Starting point is 02:48:14 because they've been shot in the ass before. They all turn 180 degrees, and they go back home three fucking miles. So fast, they beat me there. Did you discipline the cows by shooting them yeah yeah with birdshot from from range it just stings their ass they're made of leather now that it's true
Starting point is 02:48:36 yeah but kyle if you woke up tomorrow with the intellect of a cow, it would ruin your life. That's not true. Have you not seen the show? No fucking shit. They can't even spell if Chick-fil-A's taught me anything. Actually, the Chick-fil-A teaches you that they're not only kind of intelligent, they're a bit duplicitous how'd they get up that ladder they didn't get down i can tell you that robust ladder no i i've always found the cows to be
Starting point is 02:49:17 really intelligent as far as like knowing you know when you catch a dog doing something he's not supposed to do and he you can tell he knows he's not supposed to have that you like catch him with a shoe or something and he's like fuck you caught me cows are like that they have that level of intelligence where like they get caught and they're like sorry boss my bad we're cool and then you got me yeah yeah you got me yeah so they're not as dumb as chickens you're right no chickens are like bugs to me i think of chickens like insects like chickens and grasshoppers are on the same level as you guys all fell in love with henrietta we just all right we're not gonna we're not gonna do that i don't know why you would want to talk about that story i'm the alpha in that situation in the same way that Theon Greyjoy was an alpha when he chopped that guy's head off.
Starting point is 02:50:07 So Ed, we went on a survival trip about eight years ago or so. Me, Woody, our friend Chiz, and a cameraman that we hired to come and document the whole nonsense. Spent five days in the wilderness. Actually, on Mount
Starting point is 02:50:21 Currahee, where they filmed Band of Brothers, the first episode, up there. In that wildlife preserve area and we brought a chicken with us from my dad's poultry farm. I brought a hen and like a five pound chicken, a live one. And the idea was at some point we would slaughter the chicken and eat it. However after a few days this became the camp mascot. This chicken, we thought we had to cage it or keep it in a box. We let it out and it just chilled.
Starting point is 02:50:49 It stayed with us on purpose. It kept the campsite free of bugs. It started eating all the bugs that were coming around. They're in his way. People started petting it. And it was named Henrietta. There we go. And Woody killed
Starting point is 02:51:07 that thing more brutally than any Palestinian Hamas member would ever dare. I've seen... Hey, this is a little fucked up. I've seen cartel videos on LiveLeak
Starting point is 02:51:23 that begin with an extra warning after the first one. Like, seriously. Seriously. But they were quicker to kill those guys. Especially if you're a student at Columbia University, please turn it off. You ever see the one where the two guys are tied up and the cartel's guy offers them chainsaw
Starting point is 02:51:39 or a knife to be killed with? Mm-mm. No. Two guys sitting on the ground. They're tied up. Hands behind their back. Shirts off. They're tied up hands behind their back shirts off. They've been, they've had their asses whipped and a dude asked him, you know, you want the knife or the chainsaw?
Starting point is 02:51:51 And dude goes chainsaw. And I was like, Whoa, he must know something. I don't. Cause that sounds rough. Dude comes at him with the chainsaw. It's,
Starting point is 02:52:01 you know, he's, he's the chainsaw man is right-handed. So he's holding it like that. He's coming down from high left to low right. So in the guy's neck and that's it. His head's off. Like as fast as I said that his head's off.
Starting point is 02:52:16 And it's like, oh, my God, I bet that just stung a little. You know, I bet that stung a little. Agree to disagree. He didn't have there wasn't a lot of and then the then they go to work on the other guy with the big knife and it's like oh my god where did he get what was left the way i remembered he chose knife and it was he and i i also kind of remember the chainsaw going through the other guy's head neck or whatever and like nicking the other guy a little i think he might have nicked him a little. But anyway, they get the knife and go to working on that guy.
Starting point is 02:52:46 And it's like knife is not the way to go. So if you're ever paramotoring south of the border, you're taken by the cartel, Woody. And they ask you, chainsaw or knife? I promise you, chainsaw is the way to go because knife was rough. A friend of mine just went on a big paramotor flight. It was pretty cool. He went from Mexico to Canada. It took eight days. Holy shit. Do you know
Starting point is 02:53:10 how many stops? I can look it up. He posted it on Facebook and I think I can find it quickly. In my head, you do like 70 miles at a time on those. Less. I would say the range if there's no wind, let me think about this, 90 miles. You might want to plan for 60 so that you don't find yourself
Starting point is 02:53:32 landing without fuel. If you have a good tailwind or something. I use an iPhone. These guys were by the Colorado mountains. They might not always have signal like that yeah right and i bet he's got one of those fancy gps watches like you have yeah yeah actually oh yeah what do you want two three four five six seven yeah i mean he's up there in the clouds occasionally one of the biggest fears for what he does is getting cloud suck where there's this big updraft
Starting point is 02:54:05 of unevenly temperate air and you can be rapidly pulled up to heights where the there's not enough air to stay conscious and maybe and maybe live so people will get sucked up there drop unconscious and wake up covered in icicles when once they've descended after who knows how long where people just die or people just go hypoxic. You know, 10 minutes without enough O2 and you're going to come down anyway. On the high end of this, people hit over 30,000, close to
Starting point is 02:54:34 40,000 feet if they get cloud sucked like that. Do you carry oxygen for that circumstance? No. My instructor acted like this was a real problem. Much like your childhood cartoons acted like quicksand was going to get you all the time. Or shark attack to a pool swimmer.
Starting point is 02:54:50 It seems to be a hyper rare event. Yeah. I've never... I mean, I got lift. You intentionally seek out lift oftentimes. But also, I don't mean to pump my tires, but I'm a pretty good acrobatic pilot and i can lose altitude better than most if i had to what he can do all sorts of backflips and corkscrews
Starting point is 02:55:14 and nonsense so like when you start out they give you this big fluffy uh shoot to like put on your paramotor and it's so safe and hard to crash that you probably don't even need any training i bet i could paramotor like super good like way better than you to think yeah i started and uh but then like so but that wasn't good enough for woody so as he got better he he's gone to more aggressive wings that he's flying that allow him to like partially collapse them in some situations and do all sorts of really wacky acrobatics up there flips and loop de loops like end over ends and all sorts of crazy shit wow he's done he did this thing where you're just going there to practice your backup parachute i guess so so they just dropped out of the air and threw threw backup shoots right into a lake i've done that i've done that lots of time i've had what they call
Starting point is 02:56:01 combat throws which is like an actual you're going die. I threw my parachute and it didn't work. So then I threw my second parachute and it worked just seconds before I hit the ground. Zach, can you show this one? This is me just training over a lake. And I'm doing something like a gigantic somersault. But if you're not used to watching videos, like the one you're about to see it's hard to get the perspective because the camera's on my thigh, but it's just me and the wing tumbling over and over each other like that. So it takes me a second to get going, but at the end I straight up.
Starting point is 02:56:34 Oh, this is a little slide showy. I swear the video is not like this, but yeah. Soon you'll see the earth coming pretty. I'm sorry about the frame rate. That's not my fault. Oh, here we go. Wow. It's real sky ground, sky ground, sky ground.
Starting point is 02:56:52 Yeah, I go straight over the chute and get it perfect for five revolutions. Imagine looking up and seeing this. What the fuck? I can sell this video to the news later so this is an infinity it's i mean there are tens of people who know how cool this is how many people do you think could do this honestly uh in the paramotor community like in well yeah well you'd have to be right well there's paragliding too like there's some europeans that have never flown a motor but amongst the motor people like me you could probably count it on two hands Well, there's paragliding too. There's some Europeans that have never flown a motor.
Starting point is 02:57:26 But amongst the motor people like me, you could probably count it on two hands. Yeah, that's cool. Do you ever put any smoke shit on your feet? Because that's what I want to see. I want to see you up there doing that corkscrew thing, that end over end or whatever, with a blue smoke grenade going off on your foot so I can see the loops.
Starting point is 02:57:41 People do that. I've got some really tightly defined like safety theories on how to do this and not die and um you know one of them is i have like minimum altitudes depending on how good i am at the move if i'm very if i'm learning a new move i do it at the top you know i want to be 3 000 feet or something and if it's something i really have mastered i'll do it all the way down to you know 600 or something like that uh but another one is i only do shit for me like i'm not out here trying to impress other people these are things that i find interesting and i only do this for me so if there's a crowd watching i'm probably less likely
Starting point is 02:58:21 to do it um things like those Arab babes think. Right, right. Things like putting smoke on my ankle are like the antithesis of my personal philosophy. I do this when nobody's looking. What about water balloons? Have you ever been tempted to bring a couple of those up there? You know what? I'm tempted.
Starting point is 02:58:38 There are people in the community who carry toys on little parachutes. Maybe you've seen that, like little green army men and stuff. And if kids come out to watch you or maybe you're by a place where there's often a small crowd that'll take an interest in you, they throw toys to people. It's a bird.
Starting point is 02:58:53 It's a plane. No, it's litter man. There's garbage all over the city. I saw a video of a guy, it wasn't a person, but he plowed into a crowd because his plan was to fly low and throw candy to people.
Starting point is 02:59:09 In a parking lot? Yeah. Amongst the cars. I think he kicks a woman or something. It's hilarious. Giant everlasting gobstoppers. I don't do anything for crowd appeal. Even at the fly-ins where there are other pilots who would appreciate this kind of stuff, I go off by myself, enjoy it, and come back.
Starting point is 02:59:30 I don't do it for other people. But are you saying you're in the top 10? I'm a little rusty now. Yeah. But look, if you want to be at the top of your field, choose a small field. Hey, I totally agree with that i mean like you know there were probably less than 10 meaningful cannonball attempts in the decade prior to me setting the record so it was like winning at a game nobody was playing so i get that yeah but yeah
Starting point is 02:59:57 that's pretty awesome how how large do you think the community is do you think the community is? Let's make it active. I bet between 6,000 and 8,000 people fly a paramotor this year. Okay. Something like that. That's actually more than I would have guessed. That's a lot more than they'll drive
Starting point is 03:00:16 from New York to LA. He's counting Palestinians. They've got a whole squad of guys over there. Now, Bo, you want to see some tricks? Ho, ho! That's going to be like a funny Google search result in like five years where it shows like paramotor, like low, low, low, low, really high. Yeah, it's paramotor versus paragliding. So paragliding is when you jump off a mountain and you search for rising columns of air and you go as far as you can. Almost every time you do it, you miss your objective. You
Starting point is 03:00:51 don't go, you're trying to like set a personal best. You have these hopes for the day. And really what you do is you fly until you land almost certainly prematurely. And then by hook or crook, make your way back to wherever it is you're trying to go. You know, I I've ridden in the back of like Mexican landscaping trucks and shit like that, you know? Um, so paragliding is a sport of failure where you never quite get what you hoped you would get. Paramotoring is a sport of success. Pretty much every flight. It'd be catastrophic for me not to land exactly where I am. Most of the time I land, there's a bag I put my wing on. It's like, you could hug it.
Starting point is 03:01:30 I land on that. Like it's an objective of mine to make sure I'd nail my spot landing. It is so perfect. I bet if I had to land in a pair of flip-flops, I could do it half the time. So it is a sport of success. And that gets dull. You know, when every flight is exactly what you were hoping for, it's almost like a commute. Whereas the sport that denies you that,
Starting point is 03:01:55 you know, brass ring. With the paramotor every now and then, you never know how much fuel he has. People stay into paragliding as an interest far longer than paramotoring, and I think it's because they don't get what they want. And you'd think that'd be worse, but it turns out not to be.
Starting point is 03:02:11 I saw a Russian guy jump off a building yesterday with a homemade parachute. How'd that go? Exactly how you think it went. I don't think it went too well. Well, what did the homemade parachute look like? Like cardboard?
Starting point is 03:02:26 Was it a circle with a hole in the middle? It was the size of a trash bag. He had it in one hand. Oh, you watched someone kill himself. Yeah. Like trying to have a fun time with it. No, dude. He had his friends with him.
Starting point is 03:02:38 And he was like, record this, record this. I think it was in Russia, but I think he was a Brit. Because he had, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. And there's people recording on the ground too and they're like splat like like it didn't just not open it just it you know those old black and white early aircraft attempts there's the one that's a parachute that bounces up and down and there's one that looks like a da vci contraption. Those work way better than what this guy had because he just fell.
Starting point is 03:03:06 He just fell off a 14-story building and died. It was rough. I don't know if you've ever seen anybody fall. You ever seen anybody impact the ground from falling real high and die? I've watched 9-11 footage. Mostly from the top. It's loud.
Starting point is 03:03:21 It's loud when they hit. It's really loud. And not even from that far like they fall from like a hundred feet up it's this boom when a person hits it gives you a sense of like oh yeah you just don't survive at a certain point because there's not much of you left yeah biggie hill did but well that's an interesting... I'm an idiot. There's been skydivers who survived their falls. You know, like into fields or into trees and stuff like that. I think there was a lady whose
Starting point is 03:03:54 plane went down over maybe the Amazon or some jungle and her seat was flying free and she survived. She had like a hit severe leg injury, maybe a hip injury or something, but she walked out of the fucking jungle. I'm aware that water is like concrete if you hit it fast. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:04:10 Right. And the, and the reason I didn't understand until not long ago is that the water has to get out of the way for you to pierce it. And it can only get out of the way so fast. So, and the surface tension as well. Okay.
Starting point is 03:04:23 Yeah. I don't know if you'll sure you're right, but yeah. You'll often see guys who are about to do a bridge jump, throw a rock in and get the water moving down there. So it's not this perfectly still surface tension. That's not for surface tension though. I claim it is. I claim that that is so that you can tell the difference.
Starting point is 03:04:41 It's actually really hard to know how far from the water you are. If you drop a rock or in diving events, they have a little spray. It makes it so that the water has ripples and now you know how far from the water you are. I need to ask a rock jumping giga Chad. He'd know. That's why in high diving
Starting point is 03:05:00 they have spouts of water that splash. For practicing high diving, they have bursts of bubbles water that splash, but for practicing high diving, they have bursts of bubbles that go underneath the water and break the surface to avoid surface tension. So both are okay. Um, but you ever seen anybody jump into aerated water?
Starting point is 03:05:17 You're falling out of a plane. They tell you water's like concrete. Is it, is it, is it, I'd pick it over concrete. Like how bad is water? what if you turn into your best torpedo right toes pointed fingers sideways like what if i like spit when i'm close like
Starting point is 03:05:33 the very end jump he survives because he peed the whole way down water's better water's definitely better than concrete like but because i've seen people do really high clip jumping before. Zach, what's the world's record clip jump? I'm curious. Higher than the world record concrete jump. I've jumped from 60 or 70. I've jumped from bridges where there are markings that tell you how high the thing is. Does that make sense?
Starting point is 03:05:59 So that sailboats know what their clearance is? Certainly, yeah, yeah. So I'm not guessing. I can tell you it was 68 feet. I'm acting like I don't know. And I've jumped from that. Where's terminal velocity? How far is that from?
Starting point is 03:06:13 I don't know. You were not in terminal velocity. Terminal velocity is like 150 miles per hour for a human body. I think more if you're fatter, right? No. Bigger? Meters. Smaller.
Starting point is 03:06:26 You want to be aerodynamic. You don't want some big sail up there. 58.8 meters. Well, that's an incalculable. That's why you make yourself, you can go faster when you're skydiving by making yourself small or making yourself big. It's probably like 190 feet, maybe, is the record. That's wind resistance.
Starting point is 03:06:45 Not terminal velocity, right? Is terminal velocity the same regardless of mass? Am I crazy? I don't know. I'm wheeling and dealing here. I have no idea. Yeah, I think terminal velocity is the same. Yes, regardless of mass, but not regardless of drag.
Starting point is 03:06:58 So shape matters a lot. Right. Yeah, so fat people go slower. That's what Ed's saying. That's what I'm saying too. A bit safer. No slower that's what ed's saying that's what i'm saying too yep it's safer no that's what ed's saying ed's still right on this yeah ed's got a good point yeah i've heard that point, but it's so dumb whoever said it. You got to trust the source. I trust the science from Ed.
Starting point is 03:07:30 Ed, who is that mask behind you? Oh, it's Prince Charles from some rally that somebody did somewhere. They brought it. People donate stuff to the set as they come and tell stories. And so I don't know why they were celebrating that, but probably in bad taste. But yeah. Prince Charles. tell stories and so i don't know why they were celebrating that but probably in bad taste but yeah prince charles he's still he's one of the ones that's still kicking or did he just die king of england king charles now am i crazy who died is he's alive isn't he's got cancer
Starting point is 03:07:57 he's fine as far as i know but he's the king of eng, right? Prince Charles? No, it's in the title. King Charles. He clearly said Prince Charles. The king formerly known as Prince Charles. They might be different people. His uncle, the pedophile, though, is the one named in the Epstein stuff. This guy has an uncle? There's no fucking way. Oh, look at him. He looks like the Crypt Keeper. this guy's 102
Starting point is 03:08:25 he's not old i can prove it his girlfriend's 14 damn breaking king charles funeral plans reportedly being updated regularly after cancer diagnosis he's not doing well oh he recently got diagnosed oh shit that i did not i heard something about that. Oh. Is there an older one than this? What's the name of the older one? Queen Elizabeth.
Starting point is 03:08:52 No, the Epstein list guy. Andrew. Andrew, right? Is he older? I guess. Prince Andrew. I have a dumb question. Is there a situation in which an uncle can be younger than the nephew?
Starting point is 03:09:02 Absolutely, yes. Oh, yeah. Remember that movie, The Stupids? I'm My Own Grandpa own grandpa that it sounds funny i know but it really is so i'm my own grandpa it wouldn't shock me if you knew that many years ago when i was 23 i was married to a redhead who was pretty yes can be i know the whole fucking thing i love this i saw it it's like a six minute song. It just keeps going and going and going. Yeah, that's a... Kyle has a name for that sort of thing. I thought that movie was hysterical when I was nine.
Starting point is 03:09:31 Saw that on a 55 inch Panasonic in Livonia, Georgia. Was it a projection screen? Oh, you're goddamn right it was. It was a big old box. Absolutely. The touchy. In 1996.
Starting point is 03:09:43 480p. I saw it in 1996. Yeah. But but yeah there was some epstein involvement in that one in the yeah i got the pedophile it was it it was in pretty poor taste but during queen elizabeth's i suppose it's not exactly the funeral but there's the part where they sort of parade the body through the streets and prince andrew was either on foot or on horseback i can't remember fucking balloons over there and or maybe in a car but they're yelling at him calling him a pedophile you know it's andrew's only 64 oh that reminds me did you see um alec baldwin get confronted in his the coffee shop that he owns by that crackhead lady who's like uh i don't know what to call her
Starting point is 03:10:23 she's like an attention whore doesn't seem like the right word provocateur she's like a crazy person so she comes at alec baldwin you know recording him and she's like say say free palestine alec why won't you say it why don't you say free free palestine alex you killed that woman alex you murdered her and they're gonna let you walk scot-free the least you could do is say free palestine you murdered that lady alex you shot her you shot her alex and he's just like get out of my store and finally like knocks the phone out of her hand well then i guess pierce morgan had her come on to the pierce morgan that's what happened okay um and she was on there wearing i want to get this right a diaper she. She was wearing a diaper as her bottom,
Starting point is 03:11:07 and her top was her titties duct taped, the nipples duct taped up, like really sloppily. She's wearing a neck brace, and I think she has, I think she's going for white face, but it looks more like an old lady's face mask that she's wearing, you know, that cream all over her face. And she's popping Alka seltzers every 30 to 60 seconds into her mouth. So she's foaming at the mouth the whole time. And she's being everything you would imagine her to be. It's, it's, it's pretty absurd.
Starting point is 03:11:39 But, but I enjoyed it. I felt bad for Alec Baldwin. I felt bad for Alec Baldwin. Cause like, I don't see how anybody blames him for what happened. He's an actor on a set and he's not a gun expert.
Starting point is 03:11:51 I can't expect him to know shit about guns. You hand him a gun and it goes off and kills somebody? How is that his fault? I just don't get it. It's the part where he was the producer of that. So he was like the armorer's boss. I also give him a pass to some extent, but
Starting point is 03:12:08 he's doing 18 months. I don't know how he's liable. I'm actually not sure. I'm not sure in both directions because he hired a very incompetent armorer and eventually someone got shot and killed.
Starting point is 03:12:26 Forget the actor, Alec Baldwin. I don't blame the actor, Alec Baldwin. But if the producer was somebody else, right, if I hired a cut rate armorer who kept live ammo on the set and didn't keep good track of this stuff. You'd have to prove what you'd have. You know, we say cut rate and I know what you mean. And I'm like imagining what that would be. you'd have you know we say cut right and i know what you mean and i'm like imagining what that would be but you'd have to prove in court that there were signs that this person wasn't just bad at their job that they were likely to be you know negligent at their job that they were an
Starting point is 03:12:54 unsafe to do or they were unlicensed and there were no signs like i were there signs prior to the murder that uh you know this person wasn't doing her job effectively? Did they overlook the obvious signs? Well, she nicked Lenny the day before! Right? Or like, you know, they're shooting live ammo on the set and it's like, okay, clearly she's doing this stuff
Starting point is 03:13:18 all wacky. Yeah, it's crazy. I don't know. I just don't hold him responsible. He seemed seemed i'm sure he feels awful you know like like holy shit can you imagine that happening like i know there's that scene in tiger king where the dude's playing with the gun and accidentally kills himself and it's on a security camera and you don't actually see him die because he's slightly out of frame but you see his friend's
Starting point is 03:13:46 reaction and it's so upsetting and just imagining alec baldwin literally you know thinking it's a prop gun he's he probably said some cowboy shit before he pulled the trigger you know you know that that's the worst practicing for the scene that involved the gun i i don't know if i made that up or if i'm right yeah they're running scenes or running lines or something they're going through the scene acting it out you know it's not like he was just sitting there with his prop gun and like aimed it at somebody and shot like they're doing a scene where he shoots this person or something and i bet he said like this is the end of the line for you charlene and like you know he said some shit he said some cold shit and then pulled that trigger but the gun went off for real and i'm sure the maybe the gun wasn't even supposed to be loaded or maybe it was supposed
Starting point is 03:14:28 to be loaded with a blank either way you know when the person falls oh god whole thing's awful yeah she got 18 months seemingly rightfully so we've got a we talked to a guy who does similar work in the movie industry and he was like that's crazy that's crazy to have live ammo like anywhere near those guns and like it's oil and water they don't even point blanks at each other i remember so the armorer on set has a lot of authority to shut this whole operation down and he was telling us about a scene where they wanted to point the gun at another actor and pull the trigger knowing that it was a blank right and he's like no that's not how you do it and pull the trigger knowing that it was a blank. Right. And he's like, no,
Starting point is 03:15:06 that's not how you do it. And they're like, well, that is how we do it. We run this thing. It's like, I will take every gun off this set, put it in my trailer and lead. You need to figure out how to do this with camera angles.
Starting point is 03:15:17 Like everybody else in this business does. You can't point guns at each other. And that's it. They're like, all right, well, I don't want you shooting a fucking blanket. Me. No, guns at each other and that's they're like all right well i can't shut this whole thing down i want you shooting a fucking blank at me uh no that's how jason lee died brandon lee
Starting point is 03:15:31 so that was he held it to his uh temple right and did that no the uh the gun i used to know the exact thing basically something was lodged in the barrel and the blank round shot that forward and struck brandon lee while they were going through a scene just like this alec baldwin thing and he died there on set at what distance could a blank like leave a mark you know like a bruise like well nothing's supposed so the blank they take the end of the shell and instead of putting a bullet into it they crimp it down and so it's pinched just Just really like what I'm doing here. But if you put your finger in the barrel, it would get hurt, right? So at zero, there's a problem.
Starting point is 03:16:10 Yeah. I mean, blanks aren't like a thing that you buy at the store usually. I mean, they are, but I don't really know. I know there's hot gases and little bits of particulate that are going to be coming out fairly quick. So I wouldn't want it pointed at me or shot at me because any number of weird things can happen. I saw a thing today where a lady or somebody was shooting in a fire in an indoor range and the pistol malfunctioned and shot twice, fully automatic. Boom, boom. So recoil comes up once
Starting point is 03:16:45 and she's kind of here and then it goes off again. The shots are so close to each other, the customer didn't even understand what had happened, didn't even report it. But because of the high angle, the bullet goes between two of the plates, way up in the ceiling, outside, through a shed, through another shed, past some some pipes pass some dry wood into the air soft range or some shit like that then it hits a ceiling tile and for seven inches it skids along one of those standard office ceiling tiles and then inexplicably it changes direction again and it diverts down straight into the head of a 14 or 15-year-old kid who's sitting there in a chair in a different building
Starting point is 03:17:29 in a different room, like so far away from... I can't imagine... The guy who solved that, it must have been like one of those Sherlock Holmes scenes. Dumb question. Did he die? Because it sounds like the bullet might have lost a lot of energy. They estimate 900 feet per second
Starting point is 03:17:44 by the time the bullet got to him. Damn. I didn't buy that. That seems too fast for me. I saw another one. You've probably seen this too because it was on Reddit and you match my Redditing. This guy was in a shooting competition. He had a pistol. He pulled it out of his pocket and he racked the slide and it fired. That's not supposed to happen. There's a term for it. Is it a hammer drop slam fire slam fire okay and and it slam fired and uh he had a pointed down range he took it out he cleared it and he put it back in his in his
Starting point is 03:18:17 holster and then the instructor like stops the whole competition he's like did you see he thanked him for his safe gunmanship that gun was was always pointed downrange. That guy didn't do anything wrong. He didn't jump. The gun malfunctioned. It wasn't a negligent malfunction. It was just a malfunction. It was kind of eye-opening for me. Yeah, that whole thing about always point I'll reverse. Never point at something you don't want to destroy. It's like, yeah, the guy did it right. Now he got DQ'd.
Starting point is 03:18:47 The instructor apologized. He's like, I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to DQ you. You did nothing wrong, but your gun malfunctioned and you get DQ'd for that. I watch those police shootings daily, and I'm always shocked at how bad they are. He really does, Ed. He watches so many people die. Shout out Police Activity activity channel best in the business
Starting point is 03:19:06 most of our pre shows start with Kyle telling us about someone he saw die that day yeah yeah he sends me so many like South American carnival accidents and like cops killing people I saw like
Starting point is 03:19:21 he sent me a video he sent me a video of what every person is hitting the truck. Bam! Bam! He sent me a video of what was clearly like a fucking Honduran festival with one of those like spinny chair things. I didn't even open it. Because I'm like this isn't going to be generative. This isn't going to bring me mirth or joy. It's just going to be sad.
Starting point is 03:19:38 I'm going to watch people get hurt. Zach, find that video of the South American carnival. It's the spinny chair thing. Oh, my goodness, man. It's the swings. You're about to put this on the internet under your account? And they're bashing into it over and over.
Starting point is 03:19:54 They're fine. I mean, I get the MRI results or anything. I didn't watch the video, and there's no way they're fine. It's a great fucking video. If they were fine, you wouldn't have said the video. This is the video. I wouldn't have said the video and there's no way they're fine it's a great fucking video if they were fine you wouldn't have said the video what what kind of google alerts do you have active kyle i mean oh my god i don't like that stuff i don't like being pandered to by mass media by big doo-doo and their partners yeah i uh but the police activity channel i watch that shit all all the time every day i've seen every video they've ever put out and
Starting point is 03:20:29 i watch on a daily basis let's see what they got usually two to four videos good shit and some of them are two minutes long i saw one this is the creme de la creme all right you got three cops in a hotel room guess who's coming to the? 67 year old pedophile trying to buy two little kitties. All right. He's coming in there to pay a mother to have sex with like a seven year old and an 11 year old. Uh-uh. It's officer Davidson and the Minneapolis police department. There were no children in real life.
Starting point is 03:20:57 He's been. Fuck no. There's three cops in the room waiting. He comes to the door and knock, knock, knock. They open the door and they goes, Hey there,
Starting point is 03:21:04 Dave, it's officer Morgan with the, and that's knock, knock. They open the door and they go, hey there, Dave. It's Officer Morgan with the. And that's when the guy pulls his gun out. He's got like a 19 pedophile, pulls his pistol out and he gets it to right about here. And I've watched this video like 12 times. I think he was going to shoot himself. I think he I think he was like he had basically took his he took his net worth. I think he's taking his net worth and he was putting it on black.
Starting point is 03:21:26 And either we get them two kids we've been looking for, or we lights out this motherfucker, but it's binary. You know, it's either going to be the best day or the end. I think that's what he wanted to do. We have different definitions of best day. His best day. This guy's a pedophile. Trust me, a pedophile's best day is a seven and 11 year old in the month.
Starting point is 03:21:43 Three way. Okay. Oh my God. He was on the way to that motel. He had that Christmas morning feeling. Yes. Yes. He didn't sleep the night before.
Starting point is 03:21:51 He's hyped up. So you're right. He was going to shop. Reaches out with his left and grabs the muzzle of the gun. The barrel. He's got it now. And all three cops spill out. One on the left,
Starting point is 03:22:02 one on the right, and one still on the guy. And we unload on this motherfucker. Until they got to blur out the gore. And he's just dead as a doornail laying there. This guy, his corpse was on the ground. And they still pumped another 1113 in there. Better safe than sorry.
Starting point is 03:22:19 Safe than sorry. One of the cops got shot. Pedophiles are notoriously resilient. 67-year-olds. It takes a lot to bring them down. It's absorbing the bullets! Literally. One of the cops
Starting point is 03:22:34 took one of the ankle, I think, and it was definitely friendly fire. What I was going to say is so many of them, they're like, we're just shooting. It's like kids with guns. It's like paintball it reminds me of paintball when cops have to like really shoot their guns most of the time now sometimes you see like real i saw a cop with an ar-15 and it's like active shooter is over there 100 yards
Starting point is 03:22:55 away with a gun looking for people to kill in the street and this cop goes subject down what the fuck like that was cool but then sometimes it's just johnny glock and he's just blanging away sometimes he's one-handed while screaming stop stop stop and it's come on guys in the middle is my most favorite kind of video right it's a it's a shooting and it was um a shop not an indoor shopping mall but like an outdoor shopping mall like many connected strip malls picture like the sidewalks being made a hanger outlet maybe a fountain okay i don't know what that is okay okay so anyway there's an active shooter right right? And this guy goes out and he gets his AR from the trunk. And then he like chambers around and I can, not that I'm some sort of expert, but by the way, he chambers the round.
Starting point is 03:23:52 I'm like, oh, this guy is competent, right? This guy has chambered rounds thousands of times before he's, he's the guy for this job. Now, Kyle mentioned, you know, you go up, shoot subject down, nothing to it. What impresses me is the extended bravery. He hears some shots. He goes to it. Right. He sees everyone screaming and running kids scared. This guy's going to it. Right. People are giving him clues along the way. He's past the fountain. Right. The cop isn't like, oh, no, I'm getting close. The cop is like, oh, good. I'm getting close and uh then he sees the shooter now i have a bad view through a gopro or whatever but in my head i need to make double dog triple sure that this is the shooter he's like that's the guy boom subject down and i'm like holy shit right so this guy expressed to me most situations in life that require bravery require two or three seconds of bravery.
Starting point is 03:24:45 You know, cliff jumping takes one second of bravery and now you've done it. Um, this took like 30, 60 seconds of bravery and that's a lot. And this guy didn't hesitate. The guy, um,
Starting point is 03:24:57 remember that good shooter, not the U Valley one, but it was shortly afterwards. Yeah. When they got the transsexual shooter and the elementary school that shot the six-year-old girl. It's a very similar thing. He opens the trunk,
Starting point is 03:25:08 he gets his gun and I instantly recognized by the way he handles it, how competent he is. There's a coward outside the door and he's like, follow me. Right now that guy's got courage. We have brought enough courage for a spare. He has a tail coming with him. And as he goes through the hallways,
Starting point is 03:25:24 he's just clearing it, checking it. I know nothing about this, but it seems competent. Like he knows what he's doing, how to clear a room. And again, same sort of thing. Every, as he's getting closer, there's like teachers or maybe kids, I'm sure. Bodies. And he knows like every time they're like, he's that way, he's that way. They're upstairs. He's like, good to know I'm on it. Every time they're like, he's that way, he's that way. They're upstairs. He's like, good to know.
Starting point is 03:25:43 I'm on it. And never a moment of hesitancy or self-doubt or wasted time. I don't expect them to run. I expect them to move smartly and smoothly towards the problem. Right? I played enough shooters. Running gets you killed. Right? He needs to be smart as he heads towards the actual shooter.
Starting point is 03:26:00 And then he sees him and he's done. And then some other guy comes along and like glory kills the body but we lit that person up but that is the most impressive thing to me right to be brave for three seconds is great to be cowardly for 45 minutes you validate not so great but the extended period of bravery that it takes to clear a school or an outlet mall, that's my top. That's where I get impressed. Yeah, you see a great mix on that channel. That's one of my favorite YouTube channels.
Starting point is 03:26:31 Yeah, right. Sometimes there's acorns. Yeah. Do you know that one, Ed, about the acorn incident? So basically, there's a – Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:26:39 Acorn hit the car, and the cop goes like tango and crash and starts – I'm here! He's like 34 rounds into his car, and he's got his partner shooting into the car and the cop goes like tango and starts i'm here like 34 rounds into his car and he's got his partner shooting into the car now i don't blame her she was following his intel and uh he said he was hit he was that hit an acorn fell on the top of the car and he just went ballistic and meanwhile that poor like suspect or whatever is in the car, probably on child support nonsense or some petty shit. He's not a big deal. I didn't realize the car had someone in it.
Starting point is 03:27:12 That's why they were shooting the car. He thinks the suspect is in the car shooting at him while handcuffed behind his back. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, then it's justified. I take it back. Yeah. okay yeah all right well then it's justified i take it back yeah it's and i've definitely seen i hate to say it but it's usually the lady cops i saw that one lady cop torture that poor black man
Starting point is 03:27:32 she's getting in so much trouble um she's i torture it's yeah yeah she's just like torturing him on the hood like he's bent over the hood and he's crying and screaming and she's like yeah you like it you son of a bitch you like? Don't you talk back to me. She's like shocking him, torturing him on the hood while the other cop watches. There's a big lawsuit going on in that one. And her accent, I was like, ooh, don't use that accent.
Starting point is 03:27:56 You son of a bitch. She's got some Confederate flags at home. Oh, she's got... She definitely has some Confederate flags at home. Yeah. she's from down here. Kyle, when you wake up in the morning, Kyle, what is the first thing you type into the internet? Probably, it might be MMA.
Starting point is 03:28:17 I go to Reddit and I check out World News, News, MMA, UFC, stuff stuff like that it's when i'm on youtube that i'm my youtube is like shootings police activity shit um uh lately i've been enjoying watching women lose their child support uh i also watch uh lots of wild west shit where you know like like apaches and comanches i've been really into that lately and like the tales from the okay corral is the channel i watch right now he just tells all wild west stories um but you know i i really like the the police shit i like i like the police uh activity videos because it's so real it's like an action movie but it's real let's do that as a round table ed what's the first thing you look at on the internet? Lately, cheap Bugattis on Auto Tempest is where we have it. For sale type stuff?
Starting point is 03:29:08 Usually, yeah. Okay. I don't spend a lot of recreational time on the internet. I've got young kids and things to keep me busy. So it's mostly just what furthers the idea and keeps the machine working. Taylor? Mostly like Age of Empires 2. I knew it!
Starting point is 03:29:28 Age of Empires 2 tournaments or I'll go to... When did that game come out? I forget. Is it 97? 1997 or 1999. Yeah. They remade it in 2019, so it doesn't look like the one from back then. When did you come out, Taylor?
Starting point is 03:29:44 1991. look like the the one from back then when did you come out taylor 1991 yeah so i watch vampires do stuff for the most part i watch it while i'm working out i'll like i every day i check harrah and viper the two pros i like the most channel and be like oh harrah's playing a 1v4 against four people who like are probably better than i am at it and i'll be like i wonder how i would do in a 1v4 because in my head i'm like of course i could you know one i could 4v1 someone and then like he puts up like a ridiculous fight for a 1v4 situation it's almost like he's a the best player in the world but yeah it's it's fun i like it it's a cool game kyle's gonna get into it soon he promised i lied he fibbed on me i changed my mind it's just because the requirements to to be decent at the game are are high like i could jump into halo right now and i know how to run around and
Starting point is 03:30:38 shoot shit i won't be very good at it but i'll at least know how to run around and shoot shit but that's not the case in an rts like that i'd have to learn and memorize these build orders and i mean memorize them like you memorize specific actions for like five minutes of specific actions that you can't you can't miss by more than three seconds each and because you know it's five minutes but the people you're playing against aren't like experts like they're gonna make little mistakes too like they're playing against me like i'm making little mistakes or big mistakes they are as well like so it kind of evens out yeah but i mostly play for fun with friends like you could you could jump in easy he kyle if he kyle gets so into games that he could spend like it's true he has this idea of like it would take months to get good and it's like
Starting point is 03:31:22 yeah it would take a super long time to get really really good but to get to like my level of good like it would take you if you really i would pick one race one faction one technique one uh maybe one like um cheese one build order one cheesy strat and then i would grind it for out you know eight hours a day and in six weeks i would be very very good at the game but i don't want to do that because i don't want to be good at the game that's my point i don't want to be good at the game you could just learn mongol's fast castle into steplancer and that's all you would do and that's the easiest most frustrating strategy i haven't playing any games but i think the next thing i do is going to be one of those tarkov competitors
Starting point is 03:32:01 one of those other gray zone games or something like that. That's probably around the corner. I don't know. I want to do something. I haven't played any games in a few weeks since Helldivers. Oh, did you guys watch Shogun? Yes. Ed, do you watch Shogun? The television show about 1600s Japan. I'm
Starting point is 03:32:19 three behind now, so I got like three to all watch at once. Let's spoil it for Taylor because he hasn't done his homework. I don't get butthurt over spoilers. You can spoil it. I don't care. I did not like the final episode. I thought it was a good episode.
Starting point is 03:32:32 It sucked. Ruined the rest of the show. Oh, my God. That show is absolute dog shit. I fucking hate Shogun. Don't waste your time on this big cock tease of a show they spend 10 hours preparing for war we've got this genius strategist against five armies how is he going to do it is it crimson sky you may ask is it ninjas is it assassins assassins? Is it samurai? How are we going
Starting point is 03:33:05 to do this? Oh, wait. The cannons? Oh, is he going to use the fancy English cannons? Oh, the range and accuracy! What is he going to do? Wait until they come up with those bad guys. He's going to use his white man guns and he's going to show those...
Starting point is 03:33:22 Samurais? No, no, no. He's going to get his closest allies to kill themselves so that someone has sympathy and joins his army, and they all decide it's not worth fighting over. But none of that happens in real time. It's sort of in his mind what he tells somebody
Starting point is 03:33:38 is going to happen. At the very end of the show, after ten hours of cock-teasing, the big battle. The big fucking battle. Oh yeah, you're going to kill my son? You're going to take this from him? It'd be like if Game of Thrones didn't even have a fight at the end. You know what I mean? Yeah, right. If the Night
Starting point is 03:33:54 King just decided he preferred the cold. So there's not even a big battle? There's not even a big battle. So this guy's going to die. One of the characters is about to die and our main genius, the general of them all with the master plan he's gonna execute him but they're kind of frenemies because this because the general's been playing him all the time but he's got to die now he's about to
Starting point is 03:34:13 cut this guy's head off and the guy's on his knees and he's saying tell me your plan come on i'm taking it to my grave and and he tells him his plan he's like a few weeks from now we'll show up nobody's gonna it's gonna sort itself out everybody's just gonna surrender and i'll be the boss that's it and it happens in like a flash forward in his mind like we don't it doesn't happen he just tells him what will happen and we get a glimpse of him like they even show the huge two armies and you're like oh here we go no i don't fight. Nobody fights.
Starting point is 03:34:46 There's no bloodshed in that episode except for a couple of villagers' heads on pipes. And that's the end. There's no second season or anything. Oh, no. No, that's the end. There are more books that they don't carry on this storyline. It's absurd. Should I not even watch the last three?
Starting point is 03:35:01 It doesn't even matter. I don't think you need to watch them. You might want to watch the... There's a couple of good fights. In the second to last one, there's an assassin. In the second to last one. It doesn't even matter. I don't think you need to watch them. You might want to watch the... There's a couple of good fights. In the second to last one, there's an assassin. In the second to last one. Ninja samurai battle.
Starting point is 03:35:10 Yeah, but the rest of it, fuck it. Who cares? It's a beautiful show. That sucks. There was such a cool setup. It's a great show. It's technically amazing.
Starting point is 03:35:18 The acting is amazing. I loved all the characters and the actors. Oh, my God. The swords look cool and the wardrobe looks cool and I'm interested in those characters and Mariko is fucking smoking hot and i'm so into it and then they just like nah it's like a ruined orgasm or something like they went right you like punched
Starting point is 03:35:34 me in the balls right as i was about to come and i'm just sitting here so upset at that show and i don't see that online i i expected to see more people upset and no one everybody's like oh bravo bravo i was wondering if you hate it as much as me because sometimes you appreciate a really slow burn but the slow burns usually do have a fire at the end views needs to get to the firecracker at some point and it never did it we never got the fight and that's what i don't know i was very upset i like it ended and i looked at my girlfriend and I went, that was it. And she goes, huh? I said, it is over. There is no more to go. And we just sat there and let that...
Starting point is 03:36:14 I hadn't even absorbed it myself as I was saying it. It was like I was saying it aloud to myself as much as to her. And we just went, huh. And we loved the show so much up until that moment that I think it was like when a relative or a loved one gets in a little trouble or something, you don't want to poo-poo them. It's like, well,
Starting point is 03:36:36 you want to get dinner? A long time ago, I watched The Matrix and I enjoyed it. The Matrix was really good. But then i read about the matrix and i was like oh my gosh the symbolism some sort of bible parallel all the stuff that i missed because i just watched an action movie but apparently it has deeper hidden meanings and then i watched matrix 2 i was one of the few people who liked Matrix 2. And then I read about it.
Starting point is 03:37:05 And I was like, oh, my God. Now I get it. Oh, my God. He's the one. He's Jesus. He's this. He's that. That's the debut of those new Cadillacs to do a car thing.
Starting point is 03:37:17 That was the first time you got that new bodied sedan. And the truck, too. It made their debut in that movie. And the Ducatis, don't forget. Oh, I didn't know those were new for that. The Ducati scene is sick. They built that whole stretch of highway. The whole highway, absolutely. So I was psyched after the second one when I read this thing online about its deeper meaning and felt like I understood it. So then the third one comes around and there's
Starting point is 03:37:45 all these like fandom strat uh you know fan fictions about what it's gonna be how where we're gonna go from here and then i saw matrix three and it completely shit the bed and all those like fan theories and such fell apart everything i thought i understood about the deeper meanings of one and two three was so bad it made one and two worse and that happened in shogun you know i was already this was a hype this was nine hours of hype to this i watched other movies with that japanese guy in them because i was so big on him like man it's and then when you realize it's only hype and there's no end i never got to see him use it i wanted to see that guy sword fight like no end. I never got to see him use it.
Starting point is 03:38:26 I wanted to see that guy's sword fight. Like, is that so much to ask? To see the old Japanese guy? No, there are so many swords in that show. And to know they didn't use them for fighting. Like, I wanted to see. The cannons. The cannons were supposed to change the game. I wanted our boy.
Starting point is 03:38:39 I wanted the white look. As much as I like the Japanese general and it's like, ho, ho, ho. He's the fucking, he's definitely the smartest guy in any room that we're going to see in this movie, or this show. The white guy. I love him, because he's not always that smart,
Starting point is 03:38:52 but he's very crafty, and he's got a gun. He's got a gun. And he's the only one that's got a gun. And so, I wanted him to show up at the end, after his, you know, his girl dies, and he's all enraged or whatever. Dude, you need to be showing up with a bunch of pirate guns and shit. Like, do it. I wanted a Quentin Tarantino ending, show up at the end after his you know his girl dies and he's all enraged or whatever dude you need to be showing up with a bunch of pirate guns and shit like do it i wanted a quentin tarantino
Starting point is 03:39:09 ending and i got some sort of philosophical japanese ending i don't know the white guy was obviously from england and they had accurate cannon fire which apparently is a game changer right these other cannons the japanese ones just kind of fire the general direction you pointed them, but no one knows for sure where it's going. And the English cannons could hit people. And this was supposed to be some sort of game changer, you know, in the same way that when you gave Native American Indians guns, suddenly like they're the best Indians around.
Starting point is 03:39:40 And at least that's how Dances with Wolves went. But that scene never happened they never figured it out right yeah they just the cannons they didn't bother with it it wasn't part of the story it it i bet there were two episodes on i hated it i i hated that ending it was so upsetting to me because i had such i need the fight at the end that you're building toward, dude. That's what we've been talking about. You know what always is a fight in it? Age of Empires 2 YouTube videos.
Starting point is 03:40:13 It's all fighting. Fucking upsetting, man. I'm not gonna finish the show then if it's not worth it. That's not right. I always finish shows.
Starting point is 03:40:26 All right. So now I need Woody's first thing you Google on the internet, and I need to figure out based on Kyle's behavior patterns what you've been the best in the world at. So the first thing I do and check on the internet in the morning, I have two fish tanks, and there are computers controlling them. So I wake up in the morning and check my overnight tests, the current temperature, shit like that. It's like, uh, I don't know, like imagine I have a surgery patients every morning that I need to
Starting point is 03:40:53 make sure it's still doing well. That's how I start. And what is the most interesting animal in your aquarium? I have a sick one right now and he's one of my favorite fish. He is a sand sifting Gobi. He's beautiful and he keeps my sand bread looking fresh and clean. But right now and he's one of my favorite fish he is a sand sifting goby he's beautiful and he keeps my sand bread looking fresh and clean but right now he's on a hunger strike and i'm trying to figure it out oh lord moody he eats mysis shrimp uh if i feed him but he also just eats whatever amphipods copepods whatever is living in my sand any kind Any kind of pod. An algae. Yeah, you got pods, he eats pods. But sand beds tend to get a little yucky. They can have like poop or just rotten food in it.
Starting point is 03:41:32 And this guy, by turning over the sand bed all day, every day, my sand bed looks like I just poured it. Nice. What did you ask? What I've been the best in the world at? Well, you talked about your attitude towards these games. The only way that you can enjoy it is to really dive in, figure out the path. I wouldn't say I've ever been the best in the world at any game,
Starting point is 03:41:53 but I get to the caliber of the best. I get to the point where I could play in a game with some of the best, and I wouldn't be ridiculous. Civ V, I definitely got like that. There weren't many people. Again, very small community. His 5,000-6,000 is blowing me out of the water. A game that maybe had 500
Starting point is 03:42:09 players who were doing it, and I was better than most of them. I was playing with the best of the best of the best at that game. I don't know. But every game, I sort of grind until I'm as good as I can be.
Starting point is 03:42:25 That's all I can do. There's certain, you know, there's hand-eye coordination issues and reaction time issues that you just can't get better at that at a certain point. You've done it. If you're practicing eight hours a day, which is what I'll do when I'm good at a thing, then I get really slick and smooth with my muscle memory,
Starting point is 03:42:42 but still, like, clicking on things precisely, I'm not as good as the best are, and I never will be. But with a game like RTS, where there's a lot of memorization and, um, and, and muscle memory,
Starting point is 03:42:53 I can get very good at that stuff just because I'm, I'm really good at memorizing things. They sort of just stick. If I care, I get, I have to kind of not a photographic memory. I don't even know what that really means, but I get images of like kind of ideas.
Starting point is 03:43:06 Like I see the piece of paper I learned it on, or like if I, or I see the blurb on my phone where I learned the fact and it's kind of like easier to memorize things that way. So something like a build order I can pick up fairly quickly. You could like all RTS is though is like the,'s less about like like to be really good at an fps you have to be really fast and like just click on heads and sometimes like there are people who could just do that better than you like you'll never be as precise and fast as this guy because
Starting point is 03:43:39 he just has it in his genes or whatever like when you when you think about when you think about a part in a movie or a movie you've watched, do you think back to the moment you watched it? Can you remember where you watched those movies? If I've only seen it once, yeah. But if it's like Lord of the Rings and I've seen it a million times, I don't really think of where I'm watching it from.
Starting point is 03:43:59 I bet you remember the first time. Oh, I remember the theater, yeah. I do, but I also focus more on the context within the Oh, I remember. Yeah, I remember the theater. Yeah, I do. But but I also I focus more on the context within the script, within the storyline of what that moment means than its interaction with me. But you think about that moment of impact on yourself. Yeah. So like Dragonheart, Sean Connery movie where he does the voice of the dragon um that's calm that's um that's commerce georgia 1996 i don't know there 1996 or 1997 i would have been probably nine or nine or ten something like that
Starting point is 03:44:42 uh i specifically remember walking out through the parking lot. I remember my dad, my mom, and my sister very specifically. I remember where we sat in the movie theater. We were six rows back from the front and on the left side because dad wants to get out quick. I don't know. When I think of movies, I think of the place I saw them. I can remember
Starting point is 03:45:02 really well. That's a lot of layers of information with respect to an impactful moment. That's pretty awesome. I was a shitty fucking movie. It's awful. Maybe that's what helps you remember. No, I just,
Starting point is 03:45:16 I like the milk toast. Who cares? Movie. Maybe not. Maybe wouldn't register. No, it was a milk toast. Terrible movie.
Starting point is 03:45:22 I mean, it's Sean Connery is a CGI dragon. So what is the thing or obsession or idea that you think you've been the best at with respect to the rest of the world that cared about it? Oh, I was really good at sporting clays for a while, shooting sporting clays. Because I did that every day. We had a sporting clays range at my dad's house. And then we would go to competitions maybe twice a month
Starting point is 03:45:48 and then meet with friends every week. So I was shooting hundreds of shots a day every day at fast-moving tiny targets in the air. And I got really good at that. I could throw gravel up and shoot it with a.22 rifle. I see this guy flick aspirin, it's like it's not that hard Like they shoot an aspirin with a rifle you do with a bow. I'm impressed but like It's it's sort of like this
Starting point is 03:46:14 That type of shooting is kind of is is interesting because it's it's a lot like you shooting a slingshot or a weapon that you don't Sight, you know that you're not let line up You know you sort of have a feel for where that slingshot is going to go. Or when you throw a ball and you see how, how accurate a pitcher can be when they throw, you just have a feel for the release point. And if you take the sights off of a 22 rifle, so it's just smooth on top.
Starting point is 03:46:35 So you can point and you, your eyes are up high. You're not coming down on it. You can get to the point where you know, it's like a, you can imagine a laser beam and you can put it where you want. It's really cool when someone can operate a piece of equipment as well as they can operate a body part. That's how I'm hearing Kyle describe the way he shoots a gun. There's a lot of people in the dirt bike world
Starting point is 03:46:55 that just seem to be able to operate that thing like it's an extension of their own body. And I'm not one of them as much as I'd like to be. Can you imagine what it would be like to go against a real swordsman when it mattered? Oh. I'd fuck your ass up. Like someone who had actually spent their life learning to make that fucking thing. It wouldn't take long.
Starting point is 03:47:14 Yeah. It'd be over quickly. You've been phoning it in in sword class and this guy couldn't get enough of it. There is no why are you smiling? Well, I'm not left-handed. This guy was going to all the fucking office hours.
Starting point is 03:47:30 There's a historical account of this swordsman winning, I think it was rapiers, winning a 7v1 in a bar with a sword in one hand and a club in the other, like a short staff. And he wrote a manuscript about sword fighting. It's one of the more famous manuscripts. And then I saw this fighter.
Starting point is 03:47:46 They try to duplicate it using his strategies and techniques, obviously with safety gear and the blunted swords and stuff. And it was really fun to watch. I like those videos too, where they take the historical sword fighting manuscripts and they show how people actually fought with broad swords. There's a lot of holding of the blade when you're actually fighting your own blade
Starting point is 03:48:04 and sort of using the pummel. There's a lot of holding of the blade when you're actually fighting your own blade and sort of using the pummel. There's a lot of that. What's on your hand? Are you wearing gloves? Gloves. Lots of throws. Judo like hip throws and disarms. Really interesting techniques that are
Starting point is 03:48:20 not the standard smash into each other's expensive swords over and over that we see in movies it's right a much more physical there was a lot of grappling that but sword grappling where you'd again be holding the blade and sort of pinching their blade and flicking it away and there was one where you like hooked the guy's blade and just threw it the fuck away and then killed him it's really interesting there was an ultimate fighter contestant who started in that kind of like medieval armor combat, but modern. Right.
Starting point is 03:48:48 And he's like, actually, all these sword fights turn into wrestling matches. And that's where I was strong. So then I transitioned to MMA and he was good enough to be on the ultimate fighter. Yeah. Yeah. I bet they would. Because when I see street fights that involve weaponry it always someone closes the distance most of the time and it turns into a wrestling match i saw two dudes face off with
Starting point is 03:49:10 nunchucks on on the internet yesterday and there it's it's like a it looked like one of those like felon fights where it's like street fight information diet is hilarious these dudes are like you got the nunchucks. That's where this began. How do you get their nunchuck fighting to the death? I was on a subreddit called either probably Fight Porn. I think it was on Fight Porn.
Starting point is 03:49:36 They're flicking the nunchucks around. You can tell. They don't know what they're doing. These are white dudes. The dude goes, these things are going to fucking hurt because they're heavy hardwood if you've ever held a real set. They start clobbering each other with them and it ends up, both guys have it in their right and they grapple with their left and hit each other in the backs with these things. That's what it turned into, you know, because neither of them is good enough to like and like knock a fucker out or keep anyone at range with it. It just turns into grappling and wonder how nunchucks were really used.
Starting point is 03:50:04 You know, like you just told me in sword fights oftentimes they hold their own and use it like a staff or they hit each other with the pummel it's nothing like i thought so you're like oh they weren't good enough to fight like bruce lee well maybe bruce lee doesn't fight like a real real person he fights like a holly i gotta imagine bruce lee was the real deal with the nunchucks like like if you could operate him like he he could it seems like you could just break people's nose at range and then woo!
Starting point is 03:50:28 It's the same range as a sword or a staff. Well, they're unarmed. The implication being that there is a world in which a nunchuck is a more useful implement than a baton or a sword.
Starting point is 03:50:44 It seems like two batons attached by a chain, but like a sword? Who would pick a nunchuck to go up against a sword guy? My idea is that swords are very expensive to get, but nunchucks you could... All this Asian fighting stuff turned
Starting point is 03:51:00 out to be mostly bullshito. Before MMA, they thought the baddest motherfuckers in the world were Japanese acrobats, right? These guys who could flip around, hit the top of your head, lay it on the other side. Cracking boards and shit.
Starting point is 03:51:15 It turns out the baddest motherfuckers in the world are wrestlers from the Midwest. Midwest Russia. Well, Russia, yeah. But these wrestlers from the flyover states and shit Russia and well Russia yeah but like you know these wrestlers from the flyover states and shit are the Iowa they're the toughest guys
Starting point is 03:51:31 on planet earth it turned out when we went to pride those are the guys of Russia soon I'm sorry say that again I said Ukraine's gonna be the Midwest of Russia soon you know so it wasn't until we watched the fights.
Starting point is 03:51:47 We're over here saying they're using nunchucks wrong. I'm not sure. Hollywood misled us. I'd almost rather be unarmed. I know that... I might hurt myself. Here's the worst thing. There's a difference between an ass whooping and an embarrassing ass whooping.
Starting point is 03:52:07 Okay. I'll never forget we're on the playground. These kids squared off. And one kid tried to do like a spinning karate kick and he fell on his ass. And then the other kid just jumped on him and beat him up. And it was like, man, that was worse than an ass whooping. Because he went, ah!
Starting point is 03:52:27 It's like, man, that was worse than an ass whooping. He went, ah! That's humiliating. There was a moment where he thought I'm about to turn this thing around. Yeah, he'd watched a lot of movies. He went, Red Ranger! And fucking spun around. Aspas Garouken! Garouken!
Starting point is 03:52:41 But it didn't fucking work. Get over here! Or whatever cartoon it led him to kick a man. I'm doing Street or whatever you're doing mortal combat same thing never played either really my jokes are falling flat with this regardless the nunchuck the nunchuck is a bullshit weapon and there's no way that the nunchuck guys weren't you know rightfully bullied by the sword guys back then even. You'd have to imagine. Oh yeah, you're a sword guy? I can't argue against that. That's the
Starting point is 03:53:12 jock and nerd of ancient Japan. Get a load of this fucking loser. What are the dual little zagers called? Are they Sai? Remember from our Codenames game? I gave Sai and it was beautiful. called are they size i remember remember from our uh our um code names game i gave the code i gave i gave sigh and it was beautiful oh you nailed it it was beautiful you don't remember that clue
Starting point is 03:53:32 that's the other thing i have was i was i guessing for you on that i remember i remember every one of our goddamn code names fucking fucking games that we hardly remember my own name i have like magnus this isn't all right i'm like magnus car Carlsen when it comes to remembering those goddamn code names. I'll never forget when I defeated the scum who thinks he's good at the game. Because all he had to do was clutch up. And he had to give a two-word clue that included Japan and... What was the other word? It was something.
Starting point is 03:54:06 Ketchup. He had to get Japan and ketchup with a one-word clue. He had to give a one-word clue that would make his team know that he wanted them to select Japan and ketchup. And I think he said, anyway, he lost and I won. Wait, wait, wait. I thought you were Carl Magnuson. You don't know his clue?
Starting point is 03:54:24 No, I lost. You don't have a suggestion? You're right. You're right. I may won. Wait, I thought you were Carl Magnuson. You don't know his clue? You don't have a suggestion? You're right. What do you think? I thought you were Carl Magnus about this. I'm famously bad with names. I'm just trying to do my Scarlett Johansson best. I still don't know where I got that wrong. Is it Johansson?
Starting point is 03:54:52 Johansson? Johansson, yeah. What is the accurate pronunciation? Of whose name? Colin Yeo's wife. Who's the star of Home Alone, Woody? Macaulay Culkin. Damn it, he memorized it.
Starting point is 03:55:07 He sat down and got him a mnemonic device or something for that. I got that one wrong for like six years. And actually, I can say Macaulay Culkin, but I'm not 100% sure where the first name ends and the last name ends. I just know the answer. To you, it's kind of like Cher. It's just a series of syllables
Starting point is 03:55:26 Which Emma is in Harry Potter Watson I know that one too Yeah yeah okay you're killing this game You can't be stopped So Taylor of all the things you've ever Pursued in life what have you been The best at relative to The rest of the world
Starting point is 03:55:42 Relative to the rest of the world relative to the rest of the world so we took woody's in the top 10 para glider acrobatic paramotor pilots kyle's shooting skeet with the best of them what is your like thing oh i've also been very fit before that's probably it that's probably the closest i've been to like if you're gonna like rank fitness i was probably a top one i don't know what percent but very small percentage and like body can you show kyle's sexiest pictures to us yeah pick find the black and white one where i'm looking off into space like i see something cool okay he sees a bottle of water so thirsty that's probably like the picture that's you and then strength as well it's like two years i was gonna i was gonna say taylor also like like your strength level
Starting point is 03:56:36 on some lifts is probably in a very small percentage of people there you go that's definitely true what see if you could scroll down... I got a pretty strong bicep vein there, I'm just going to say. I got the whole eight pack if you could just scroll down. It's a shame. Oh my goodness. There's Derek, pleased with his
Starting point is 03:56:56 project. If you needed to get my blood, you could just take it. More plates, more dates. There's a before picture. That was kind of his coach. Okay. Wow.
Starting point is 03:57:13 That is substantial. It was yoked. I did that in nine or ten months. That thing right above your hand. That was you post-prison? No, no, no. This is way post-prison? No, no, no. This is way post-prison.
Starting point is 03:57:27 A couple years after prison. I did a fitness kick. There you go. What? Golly, man. Yeah, I look pretty stout there. What's the percent body fat on that picture? I think it's eight and a half.
Starting point is 03:57:43 No. Yeah, I got DEXxa scanned regularly i kept charts okay i got regular blood work and regular um dexa scans every month to chart not just my weight but my body fat percentage and my muscle growth and you see you could see and my my bone density went up to beyond caucasian levels to. Black people have a different standard for their bone density, and I entered that realm. You became black. Negroid is the technical term.
Starting point is 03:58:14 Is it really? Yes. His credit score plummeted. Oh, jeez. Taylor, we had a guest a couple weeks ago Finster he transitioned from male to female and Taylor asked him if his driving is suffered I've used that joke three times going back to that well it was a good one yeah I didn't even think about the strength thing Kyle I guess like compared to the public, like I'm a lot stronger.
Starting point is 03:58:47 What's your highest bench? What's the most you've benched? I've done 325. I did 335 three times, but that was like two and a half. At what body weight? I was like, this is like one of my heaviest. I was like 250. At 185 pounds.
Starting point is 03:59:03 I'm way lighter. I'm not nearly as strong now as i was then but it got to the point that like it's like i'm not even aesthetically pleasing to look at i'm just like lifting a lot and i just kind of look fat with really big arms and like chest uh i guess i was very good at like special order or something like i didn't have it in i had yeah they had to take the shoulder and arms out of like my suits because like all the sizes like i looked like a silly billy like with like because like the size that would fit me in the shoulders and everything was a dress in my midsection and so they would they'd have to do
Starting point is 03:59:42 that but i'm like i'm not nearly like i'm i'm probably a bit under 200 pounds right now so i i'd die if i tried to to do 335 um i was very good at ice hockey oh to be fair i'm on steroids like just a bit so that's clear i saw the tagline there and yeah yeah understood enhanced game status nothing nearly as impressive as what kyle did um yeah but you did it clean which is also incredibly admirable true admirable took a long time took a lot of yeah it takes so much longer and look like what i do is trt it's in my opinion i've done a good bit of research and like i mean derrick's a muscle head but he's also a really smart guy he's done his research as well. That's what his channel's about.
Starting point is 04:00:25 Seems perfectly safe to me and way more safe than being obese or having high cholesterol and either which problems, you know, I really have anymore. My God, it feels so good to work out when you're on TRT. You get bigger, stronger, and faster.
Starting point is 04:00:43 You ever see a plant growing you're like grass growing like you can see it happening like every day you see that progress like i got so much stronger so faster like i'm every time i go to the gym more plates are going on like like it's like holy shit that was that was easy i couldn't do that last week i couldn't do it once last week and now it's easy it's like plink plink plink it was like it was almost like that fucking scene from unbreakable when uh bruce willis is learning that he's fucking way stronger than he ever believed knew he was that literally happened to me where i where i'm like all right what do i lift maybe 150 he was growing so fast kyle was
Starting point is 04:01:20 sending us pictures like throughout the process because he was keeping it on the DL secretly. And it was every two weeks. He'd be like, here's an updated photo. And it's like, dude, you've put on seven pounds of muscle in the last two weeks. And while he did it, he would wear jackets and stuff on the show so you couldn't tell. I was live streaming at the time. And my chat is saying negative things about i had to ban words you can't say pile in my chat because so many people were just like making fun of him calling him names and stuff like that it's like you guys have no idea but it's a secret i remember i was i
Starting point is 04:01:58 was letting people in my chat play that up a bit i'm like oh you think so huh oh that's curious it's just knowing in my head it's like kyle's a fucking mountain right now like he's he's just hiding it it was hilarious it was hilarious i can't believe who came on the show and like like tried to say i was fat or something i was like i might be the fittest person here tucker it was oh yeah tucker yeah tucker called me fat or something i was like i think it was the fittest person here and then uh and then like sure i i mean i was it was i was i was i was like i was super thick at that moment like i was i was there was a point so what i did was i bulked like tons of calories for 10 months and then i cut okay uh for like for like a month and uh all the fat off. So there was a point when I was like
Starting point is 04:02:46 220 and just stout. That's where I told you to stop. Remember? I was like, dude, you're looking juicy, bro. I look like a scary bouncer. I look so fucking thick.
Starting point is 04:03:00 I had a belly. Actually, I was way more flexible than the average and i realized i fibbed on the bench i did 305 three times i did 335 once which is still still good or i'll never do that again with the right chemicals you'd be lifting 500 pounds in eight months i don't know i'm i enjoy being like i'm not even like lean like enough now but i really like the way i i may be so much weaker than i was just but can you work on your car without jack stands pussy no i can't i'm a bitch uh i used to just hold it up with one hand i was a my dad said he squatted a Volkswagen once. That's an astounding claim.
Starting point is 04:03:46 Just the back end. He said he picked up the back end so he could change the tire. Farm strength. I don't know how flexible you guys have ever gotten in your life, but I was a goalie in ice hockey for many, many years growing up, and I got pretty competitive with it on some solid teams. And, like, I was the only – only well other than some other goalies like i was the only person like on the team that could like do the splits which is something most men can never
Starting point is 04:04:12 do and like doing the splits when you're playing ice hockey is not like doing it like watch me kind of maneuver down in a way it's like no you're slamming down falling into it and then you're like very rapidly getting back up and slamming back into them if you need to and i i was man that would be so sick if i was still that flexible i might tear something trying to touch my toes right now that's the other thing about the trt by the way i'm not trying to sell trt i mean use derrick's clear clinic merrick merrick health but like your tendons and everything get stronger. All the connective tissues get angry
Starting point is 04:04:49 about life and they want to hurt something so they get thicker too. You recover so fast. You recover so fast. It's a wonderful thing. I can't wait. If you ask me, if I could go out and find 1,000 people and say, can you, with no resistance, fall to the ice and hit your balls on the ground without dying the next moment?
Starting point is 04:05:18 Like, what amount of performance enhancing products would it require? And what time frame? I mean, that's insane like it take it it just took a huge amount of stretching like regularly and just doing it over and over and over like your brother's doing this with you like are you doing this alone in a cold basement you develop this flexibility when you were like 11 or something and then just kept it yeah yeah like i i started playing goalie when i was i played hockey since i was like five and then it was like roller hockey when i was five and then switched over to ice hockey when i was maybe six or seven and then
Starting point is 04:05:55 at eight i switched to goalie and just got very very flexible and just you're right he's right i just like played through it didn't lose it i couldn't do fucking whatever that guy's doing that doesn't look like a useful way to stop a puck he's not chinese industrial accidents i've been watching i saw this chinese industrial accident part of him is what that's his nuts right and the little bulge that's there he is yeah this guy doesn't have to make music. This guy got an OnlyFans? You were beyond 0.1%
Starting point is 04:06:30 of flexibility at a moment in life. At a moment in life, I was incredibly... I would do... My dad sometimes would get on to me and be like, hey, you're just watching TV. You could be stretching while you're watching tv like get more flexible with it and so I'd like sometimes get like I'd be in front of the tv and like trying to stretch out and like get more
Starting point is 04:06:54 more flexible more limber because it like it obviously makes sense if you've ever watched goalies in the NHL like those guys are flexible as shit like being able to do that is you've been in a situation where you're ever in a situation where like something was about to hit you in the face and so you just did the splits like spider-man and avoided it uh no no never did i'd use that maybe in a fight like like but if you avoided a major injury have you avoided future injuries because of that flexibility uh oh like when i was playing hockey if i would have tried some of that shit and i wasn't that flexible and i was like a normal level of flexible i would have torn my groin so i had this recognition in like late high school and college sports of like if
Starting point is 04:07:38 i was more flexible i would get hurt less do you have that recognition that I am hurt less by things because of this period in life where I was the most flexible of any human being alive? Yeah. Yeah. Like I was definitely like, even now, like I'm joking, I couldn't touch my toes.
Starting point is 04:08:00 Like in the world of adult men who do no flexibility training whatsoever i'm there you go much more flexible than the average remember we talked about defining a very small niche and being at the top of that yep here we are yeah being able to do the the splits to save a puck right and then like it was it was fun when i'd like uh because i played on like a real team that was more competitive throughout all those years and also would i played on like a real team that was more competitive throughout all those years and also would play on like a high school team that was like fucking who gives a shit camp like the level of like even the shots are so much slower like and like when people would come to the game and see and i'd like get the chance to like bust out some splits
Starting point is 04:08:40 for like a fancy save and here in like the the impressed like the stands it was like yeah i'm i'm pretty dope that feels pretty good i like that he's got another one what he's got another one like like i what he's got a blue belt in jujitsu and uh he's got two maybe two years of boxing training um and in like a real gym and i don't know. He went and did an actual alpha man camp and lived with a UFC fighter for a week or so. I wouldn't want to tangle with Woody if I was the average Joe. That's a little bit like
Starting point is 04:09:13 being better at guitar compared to people who don't play guitar. Yeah, but it turns out here in traffic today, we're having a guitar playing contest, motherfucker. You're right. You got your pick. It turns out here in traffic today, we're having a guitar playing contest, motherfucker. You got your pick.
Starting point is 04:09:31 If you're ever in a traffic incident and dude puts a mouth guard in, fucking back down. Somebody pulls a mouth guard out and squares up, just apologize. Right. Yeah. I saw a video today. I know it's probably time to wrap um the guy clearly was being followed home from a rage road rage incident to his own domicile and his cameras
Starting point is 04:09:54 are capturing this he pulls into his nice little driveway and he gets out with his handgun and sure enough he's in a corvette by the way like. Not the newest body style, but the one just previous. Nice fucking car. You don't see who's approaching, but he's clearly looking at somebody over there. Out of nowhere, here comes a truck or an SUV. Slams into the side of the Corvette so hard, it throws our shooter over the car. Our shooter is half on the hood
Starting point is 04:10:22 and half on the ground on the other side when he opens fire. And he doesn't stop until he gets the guy. It was a wild video. I don't know why in a road rage incident you go home. You probably wouldn't want to lead them back to your home. Maybe somebody else. How long was he out of the car?
Starting point is 04:10:39 Did he have the option to get in the house instead? He had to sprint it. Okay. And I think he's got his gun. the option to get in the house instead? He had to sprint it. Okay. He's got his gun, so he's probably... That was his plan. Okay. Clearly some shit had gone down on the road because this guy
Starting point is 04:10:56 has followed him home and he's getting his gun out right away. I think that's about time to wrap. Check out Ed's VIN VinWiki links in the description and that's cool buy our jism pills check out our Patreon down below get in our
Starting point is 04:11:13 fucking discord where we're gonna hang out this week and play codenames and you'll see who's the most dominant codename player this side of the Mississippi and don't get butt hurt what? I've been humble but but it's me. I am the most dominant player.
Starting point is 04:11:27 Okay, Turkey. Food for three. Is it Turkey? Oh, shit. Turkey's our food. I have the only five-piece in Codename's history. Kyle says his side of the Mississippi because you can't compete with my side. It is true. There is one other five-piece, but he did words from the previous clue. It's not the same thing.
Starting point is 04:11:44 I had a clue. Five words. Dominant. I have a huge winning loss record. I'm very, very good better than Kyle. 697. Judge for

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