Painkiller Already - PKA 700 W/ Gavin Mcinnis, Dick Masterson, Wendigoon, And Chris James

Episode Date: May 18, 2024

pka 700 gavin mcginnis the first of four guests taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by pharaohdistro.com log and load and perhaps blue chew we'll find out more when chiz gets back to us on the sponsor info gavin you're looking slick thank you for joining us i'm happy to be here boys it was fun last time let's hope it was let's hope it's at least half as fun this time oh i was hoping for twice as fun we got all the pleasantries out of the way last time the the i enjoyed that i got a lot of people tweeting at me the the dka podcast the don't know anything what was the thing you didn't know it was you right woody it was one of those there was one thing i didn't know that it had to do with um a break-in strategy of getting car keys oh yeah they just kick in the

front door and grab your fob yeah then i questioned it because it sounded wrong but i was wrong and that happened you know if you followed andy kumi on twitter you'd know yeah i bet you right yeah tell you about it every day. In Canada, I saw this great video that said the juxtaposition of Canada versus America. And they had this cop, like RCMP guy, saying, okay, guys, so they're taking the fobs. You want to leave your fobs by the front door. Make them easy to access so it's safer for your family. And then they cut that with the guy in Florida going, we teach shooting here.

So if someone enters your home, there's no excuse for you not blasting them and saving the taxpayer a lot of money. Hopefully you finish them off and we don't have to deal with it. There's an easier way to deal with this. I'm surprised no one's doing it. A garage? Booby trap the fob.

Oh, you can't do that. You should have the booby trap your own property. The law does. Yeah, apparently booby traps are illegal because they used to make them back in the day. They used to sell these little booby traps. It was like a little hammer-fired shotgun that you kind of nail onto your window and it'd be fired with a

pull string if somebody opened the fucking window. That's not a legal thing anymore. It should be. I'm into motorcycles and in the dirt bike world, you can't just put a cable across the path. Of course. If motorcyclists are tearing up your property, you can't booby trap it like that.

You throw nailed up boards down. That's what I did. There were people driving through a place and I just put boards out there with nails driven through them and fucked all their ATVs up. They broke my windows. They broke your windows. Were they even destroying your property

or you were just yeah yes no they're fucking doing donuts in my front yard oh okay for your front yard yeah of my personal yeah i own it but i mean like were they doing it because they didn't like you in your front yard who fucking cares why they're doing it was the rape personal madam did he did he mean it i don't care why they're doing it. It impacts how hurt my feelings are. That's what this is all about. This is probably like 2016.

It's a super old video where this one boomer kept having his Trump sign run over by people in his yard. And so he somehow put, well, not somehow, a very remarkably easy strategy. He attached it to a 2x4 with nails on it so that if you tipped it over, the nails faced up. And then he like showed a picture of that.

And then a photo of like some like clearly liberal woman with like a blown out car, having it tone away like that. You're going to talk about the guy who electrified his Trump sign. So when someone grabs it, they get zapped. And that's probably illegal, too. Fashionism. Worth it. You should be able to trap your own property in any way you please. With our fobs is if I have a shit or something, I rub shit all over the fobs and leave them by the front.

And then obviously in the mornings i put on gloves and get clorox wipes and i clean all the shit off them you have a very frustrating disgusting morning routine our whole the whole front of our like a whole area by our front door reeks yeah no car thefts not one no never my uh everybody's heard of that kia boy thing where like they rob tons of kias because i guess they just the Kia just didn't think it through. And my younger brother has had a Kia for years and he's always mentioning like, God, please, someone steal my Kia. This thing sucks. I just need a Kia boy in my neighborhood for one night to steal my Kia so I can get the insurance payout and buy a nicer car than this fucking Kia.

And so shout out to the Kia boys. Maybe you can find my brother's car and steal it. Yeah, yeah. We probably shouldn't discuss this insurance fraud here. However, I might add, he just needs to park it in the right spot. Did I say my brother? I meant a guy I heard of. Actually, I'm making this all up.

And a short story you once wrote as a child it's just a stream of consciousness though yeah okay fair enough fair enough key is get a bad lesson on that bad of cars they're really not they're fine they're following the path that a lot of cars do where they start as garbage and improve over the decades and they try to have like an exterior that looks like a more expensive car like i think i saw one of their like coupes the other day and i was like what is that like like i can't tell if that's a thirty thousand dollar car or a hundred thousand dollar car and then i got close and i could tell but for a while it's all cars you look at like the porsche porsche suvs and they they look like complete garbage they're on i'm a, so I have a 2000 Jaguar and a Land Rover and a Triumph and a BMW,

and they're all horrible cars, but they look really good, and that's the most important part, I think, of cars. Yeah, I don't think the Jaguar even has that cool hood ornament anymore, do they? Because it used to have the leaping. Yeah, I have the leaping Jaguar. Well, I think they did stop, though. I don't understand why, because it has a spring in it. So it's not killing any kids.

It springs back. I thought it was because they were getting stolen, because they're too cool. Well, that was the boys did that with the Mercedes thing, right? They would wear it around their neck. And then Mercedes just said, please call us and we'll send you one. Stop taking them off cars. Yeah, I mean, hood ornaments are cool. They have. Stop taking them off cars. Yeah. I mean, hood ornaments are cool.

They have to come back at some point. Yeah. Right. There's this inevitably cyclical, you know, a fashion. I got the leaping Jaguar on my desk. I totaled my car.

But when I may or may not have had some, some beers and I was drifting, trying to impress my brother, my brother-in-law completely totaled the car like gone and my insurance company gave me the value of the car 14 grand it was worth like 17 and they sawed off the front and then just stuck a new nose on like when I say sawed off the front I mean everything yeah imagine the foreskin of a penis going onto some other penis and uh so they i had an extra leaping jaguar so i just installed it on my desk it looks awesome but the core question remains was your

brother-in-law impressed no he was happy to be alive i had cameras on and uh i i wanted to see the accident for some reason it didn't record i just have i have audio after no video and i'm just going fuck because it won't start and apparently the fuel line cuts when you crash because it doesn't want to blow up so i didn't know that so i'm like come on come on fuck fuck and then i hear my my native american brother-in-law with his Midwestern voice go give, we got to get the fuck out of here. Like now I just feel like running guy. I don't think we've ever, any of us been in a real car crash.

Like I haven't. Yeah, I have. Oh really? I have another, I broke my arm. Yeah, that is bad was it your fault or someone else's

well I mean it could have been anyone's fault but I was sleeping at the time holy shit hope the statute of limitations are up on that how many people did you kill I was the only car involved I was I had this big night before and then I was in a bicycle race that day, and I was exhausted on my way home.

I pulled over and tried to sleep. I'm 17 at this point. And because I couldn't fall asleep, I made the bad call that I wouldn't fall asleep. You know, like, all right, I'm here. It's been 20 minutes. I can't be any more bored. Let's try again. And the car pulled to the right.

It wasn't a great car. And I woke up when the two right tires hit the grass and sort of steered back onto the highway quickly and got into this sort of swerving thing. And on the side of the road, it went down quite a bit. And then there was a hillside, like a checkmark. And when the front of the car hit that hillside, that's when I started rolling and it was two and a half rolls. So, you know, one roll isn't upside down. That's half a roll. It was two full rolls. And then I came to a rest on the roof and one of the

rolls lowered the roof by like six inches and broke every window and then i was coming i had my seat belt on but in my mind i thought i was going to fall off the driver's side window so i posted my arm out oh shit you know protect myself yeah and that's when i broke these two bones i've got that scar there i don't know if it's not super visible yeah i can see a little bit i can see that's from one of the surgeries to repair the arm yikes yeah and it's why my fingers don't work well you know you fell asleep so i almost like give you that one like because it's it's it's not exactly user error you were just exhausted but but i do pride myself on all the miles that i've driven and never hit any fucking thing like never and even a deer you can't

avoid oh i've hit a deer i hit the deer i got yeah yeah and he hit me actually honestly he hit me he hit my fenders like squarely in the side like he hit where the tire well was so i'm gonna blame that on him that's not my fault i couldn't do anything about that there was like a i don't even know if this was true maybe it was like a apparent thing to try and scare me but like i've had in my head that like if a deer is in front of your car you never slow down even the tiniest bit you're supposed to just blast through it and that's because it was either my dad or maybe a maybe it was a fucking hockey coach of mine i don't know but he told me he's like oh my brother-in-law yeah it was a hockey coach he's

like yeah he was driving windy road saw saw a deer, decided to slow down. All that did was kick it up onto the top of his car. He headed him. So his theory is you atomize the deer. Yes. You're okay. I've heard that theory on motorcycles too. He very casually mentioned that it decapitated his brother-in-law.

He died by having a deer go through the windshield and take his head off. And I'm only now realizing he was probably lying to me. Yeah, it sounds like a lie. Deers are not very sharp. They're not known for their cutting ability. It would have to hit you so fucking

hard to just take your head off. One of the greatest internet videos of all time. The dude's on his fucking It would have to hit you so fucking hard to just take your head off. No, I, one of the greatest internet videos of all time. The dude's on his fucking, I don't know, R one or something cruising down a road and a deer runs out in front of him. And he hits that deer right in the middle with his motorcycle going 90 miles an

hour plus. And it cuts that motherfucker in half. Really? It cuts that motherfucker in half and he travels through the deer it gets a little wobbly pulls it under control and pulls over but he is he looks like a horror movie like he's just he looks like you dumped a bucket of blood like carrie at the end of the fucking movie just don't go on with blood deer yes it was so badass yeah i saw a motorcycle accident so this guy was riding along

and a deer ran into the side of the bike and hit the motorcyclist. Alright, he was going fast. And the guy kind of swerves, pulls over, gets to the shoulder, and then drops the bike. And I'm like, oh, what's the matter? You know, task saturated, adrenaline, like what's going on here?

And then you realize, when you look the camera goes to his foot, it's as if it was put back on backwards oh no he's hurt he can't stand on that thing it's a problem deers are the worst i had i know a guy who had a got a motorcycle accident with a deer the deer was driving and uh he got so fucked up uh that he had all these holes in him like gashes and shit not just road rage but like perforations i don't know it looked like he'd been shot a couple times i don't know what that was about but his problem was the deer guts were in his wounds so there's a huge prone for infection there yeah you got to get to the hospital fast get washed out yeah and they're rife with parasites right don't they worse than

those videos are they i don't know their lives are a living hell fuck bambi all this like what we don't understand about animals is the unbelievable suffering just existing is they're fucking in the snow just trying to get a morsel of food they get a cut it gets infected they're walking around with maggots on them or i i saw a video of a deer half of it was gone you could almost see its ribs and it was just like and they're always foraging for food and then someone's gonna kill them there's always a predator i think who doesn't have a predator maybe a hawk or something they're always constant fear and stress and pain you make a lot of. Is there a good animal to be? I'm thinking dogs are chill as fuck.

It's like, what about a hawk? Like the fastest, deadliest hawk. Yeah. You'd have to be a, you'd have to be at the pinnacle of the food chain, wherever you were to,

for it to not be horrible. Yeah. Even a lion, you got fucking hyenas bugging your ass all the time, trying to eat your food. Yeah. And animal, you got to keep fighting the alpha

like to stay get near the top so that's no relaxing there yeah you live in an environment actual alpha animal is a mosquito that sounds terrible yeah they got the most kills there no but if you don't have that trophy hunting if you don't have that rich dentist coming to your fucking village to kill that old lion then he he slowly gets weak enough that his like nephews murder him to death in an awful kind of way if he's lucky and if he's not lucky they just cripple him and he gets kicked out of the tribe to like limp along that's how you that's what the sabo lions were they were two beta male lions who were like i'm tired of this shit let's eat those people over there instead. And they ate hundreds and hundreds of people.

That doesn't sound very beta. When was this? Sabo lions. I haven't heard that. It was when the British were putting the railroads through Africa. Oh. Patterson. And what was the other guy's name?

There's this town called Sabo where they were trying to build this bridge. And they had a lot of Indian workers. You know, the British still owned India at the time. And they were bringing them in. bridge, and they had a lot of Indian workers. The British still owned India at the time, and they were bringing them in, and these lions were just eating them, like a dozen a week or something. They were just in tents outside.

Were they too kind to shoot back? You don't give Indians guns. What are you, crazy? You had a couple of redcoats over there in a building, and they'd hear and they're like, you think we should go out? Why bother? He's done for by now. Are you crazy? There's lions out there. Exactly.

There's a really good movie about it called The Ghost in the Darkness. It's Val Kilmer and Michael Douglas. It's real good. It's a true story. They kind of alluded to it in that prequel to Yellowstone, whatever it's called, Michael Douglas. It's real good. It's a true story. They kind of alluded to it in that prequel to Yellowstone, whatever it's called, 1923,

that I was trying to watch with my wife, but even my wife was like, this is too gay. Like, it's lifetime romance. He's in Africa, and this rich girl decides to leave her wedding and follow him through the terrain, and it's sub-lifetime like

cornball pulp fiction like and I mean the the literature just unwatchable romance disgusting you're right but that guy's straight as fuck he fucked her in a tree he fucked her in a jeep he fucked her in a tent oh so you saw it oh yeah

that's the kind of show I watch he loves gay romance Oh, so you saw it? Oh, yeah. That's the kind of show I watch. He loves gay shit. Did you find the romance? No, actually, the romance was too much? It was. And I didn't like the unbelievability of it. You know, I don't know.

I couldn't suspend that belief. I really hated the scene where the big ship, like, casually floated into the tugboat. And then all of a sudden, the big ship's big ship's being propelled. It's bullshit. Did you see the previous prequel, like 1887? Yeah, that was cool. I don't know. The teenage

whore of the camp is the toughest gal of them all and then she gets shot with a doo-doo arrow and we give up the whole fucking Oregon Trail mission to bury her right fucking here i was i don't know i i was yeah i was annoyed with parts of it there were parts over there were badass though and i liked the early seasons of yellowstone um when i was locked

up like that was the show people would take their chairs put it in the tv room and put their and it'd be like this is where i'm sitting for yellowstone there'd be a post-it on the tv that said yellowstone 8 p.m was it everyone or was that the white TV? The majority. Oh, they'd fill the whole room up. The same way that they'd fill the room for college football because that crosses racial barriers, Yellowstone crossed racial barriers.

The black guys were in there for that too. What were you in jail for, gun stuff? Marijuana. He got bullied in jail. I ended up with two months of federal prison so they sent me to a federal prison camp in alabama with a bunch of fucking yeah that's what they said they didn't they didn't believe me either in prison part of 60 days in which is my yeah so they threw me in there with a bunch of like

bank robbers and murderers and shit who had been nice enough to get down to a camp. But still, they were like gangbangers and murderers and bank robbers and shit. So I got to hang out with them for two months in steamy Alabama. You called it camp, but is there an official name? Is it called low level security or media? I think they call it a prison camp or something because we're in that like dormitory style open air sleeping situation where you've got like no safety from when you're asleep you're just in a big room everybody's in a bed were you a little tempted at any point to like kind of juice up your story because everyone else has way more intense stories of why they're in

there and you'd be like i ordered weed in the mail and i shouldn't have yeah um they get your papers right that's it. Yeah. Yeah. And plus like, they can be like, oh shit, you did all that? You can ride with us tonight. Show up here at eight.

Okay. Are we going to smoke cigarettes? No. We're going to kill guys just like you did. We're going to kill that Mexican guy over there. He been snitching.

Now you have to like make up another lie about how now you're a born again christian you don't do that i swore to the virgin mary i start doing a cholo voice at this point i feel comfortable with you guys enough now to do this to talk normally i want to see how you motherfuckers kill i want to check your techniques i don't think you got what it takes yeah you just haven't passed my my skill check yet like i may have passed theirs but i'm still not sure that they're down on the down on the down how much weed did you have half an ounce or uh

yeah half an ounce half an ounce i got that on me and i don't even smoke weed yeah yeah it was not a lot of weight no forgive me for telling your story i think it's they got him for distributing but he didn't sell it he didn't sell it what he would do is he would like have girlfriends come over and you know smoke and poke i guess right and uh wasn't even that it was my full-time live-in girlfriend while she was at work i messaged her it's like hey you want to get high tonight and watch like lord of the rings or something? That was the evidence of my distribution. Shut up. Yeah, that's what I thought.

Something else is going on there. You're the gun guy, right? Yeah, they hate it. That's like Al Capone's taxes. Of course. Yeah, I can't prove that, but we've all thought that. I had to plea to that nonsense because they were trying to make like every firearm I owned and like a magnifier or whatever you call it.

Like each one was going to be like years, up to 10 guns, like five years a gun, up to 10 guns. And then it was like, I'm looking at 67 years or something for my half ounce of weed or just plead guilty and go do your two months in the prison camp. And I chose that option. Right. You can see how that law makes sense for situations where the guns are used to support the distribution. Right. Like this says something about your operation. If you have, you know, 18 scary black rifles in the kitchen cabinets or something like that.

But in Kyle's case, they were not related ones for YouTube videos. Yeah. if you have, you know, 18 scary black rifles in the kitchen cabinets or something like that. But in Kyle's case, they were not related ones for YouTube videos. Yeah, they were very clearly documented for you. So you can't own a gun now, right? No, no. I'll probably I'll try to appeal that at some point. I mean, they just reclassified marijuana today to a class three. I'm sure in another, you know, some odd years, it'll be easy to make my record.

I'm going to make him a felon for jaywalking. Of course, I have guns and fuck you. Yeah, because you're encouraging the populace to be armed. And that's a threat to my government. So the government is the mob and you don't threaten the mob. So they take you up. I mean, that's exactly how I've always seen it. A big part of it was I also sold a lot of Tannerite. You know what Tannerite is?

Yeah, yeah. I was responsible for promoting that big time and selling enormous amounts of it. Don't imagine dump trucks going to one guy's house, but everybody wanted a can of it to shoot in their backyard, and I think that that was causing a lot of extra paperwork. You shipped a lot of it to eccentric individuals who live in the woods. No, I didn't ship any of it, not a speck of it.

I advertised for where you could go online and buy it as a responsible fucking adult. Who was your biggest customer? Ted Kazintz? No, Ted makes his own shit, all right? Don't put that on Ted. Don't put that on Uncle Ted. He did make his own. He was a bit of a home brewer yeah i maybe it's because i don't know many criminals or any really but i just see the justice system weaponized against my friends on almost like every case that i can think of right now from j6 to this porn star

mercedes carrera is in jail for molesting her daughter which she absolutely didn't do to proud boys in jail for fighting Antifa to you know this one guy Tiny Tuetze he's from American Samoa he's a proud boy he's doing seven years now Antifa shot him in the foot and he's in jail for being violent towards them like i just can't think of a case where some guy i know did a bad thing like stabbed someone in a fight and then went to jail for like a good amount of time for that would be i don't know seven years or six years i can't think of one of those it's all marijuana bullshit or we're gonna get you with some other law or you know like mercedes has been in jail not prison in jail awaiting trial for five years now oh jesus shit what is what's her

story that she got accused by her her baby daddy got herpes in thailand and she goes how the fuck did you get are you fucking underage girls in Thailand? Are you fucking 16 year olds? Are you a pedophile? I don't want you around our daughter. I don't. You make me fucking sick, you creep. And coincidentally, a couple of days later, after her threatening to take the kid away and not let him see her, the kid does an interview with the police where she says, oh, yeah, I was fisted and they made porn with me and all this shit. And like really intense sex shit, like porn with me and all this shit and like really intense sex shit like threesomes and all this stuff and so they go to mercedes house and they see cameras

around the bed like all porn stars have they find meth like all porn stars do and they find tons of guns so they throw the book at her and uh like she's the she keeps getting these lawyers who quit or are incompetent the fucking the guy who monitors the prison is also the prosecutor and she goes this is you can't be the prosecutor and be in charge of me in prison and he goes i can wear more than one hat i mean it's in san bernardino and it sounds like the wild west damn yeah it sounds like how did she get an ideal one more thing by the way sorry they they got all her computers and her phone and her hard drives a hundred percent of everything that day no time to erase and they didn't find no like not a semblance of anything

kiddie porn no no pictures of the girl, nothing at all. So it's just that one statement she made that happened a few days after. How did the dude she was with not get in trouble for that? Or did he as well? He is. He's in jail too. Damien. That's wild.

Yeah. I'm sure, you know, a ton of people from the J six stuff. Like I, I did hear stories of like they just got they just got kept in jail for years without a trial yeah and then they get these sentences of 22 years 30 years and and then you hear the lefties going that's that's white

privilege and you're like what and they go well the max was 40 years and they only got 33. And you're like, for meandering? For trespassing? You want them to get 40 years? Like most murderers are out in 15. Most pedophiles are out in five. They went and some guys broke some windows. That's bad.

Don't break windows, kids. And what did the rest of them do? posed for selfies it's fucking crazy and the craziest part about j6 is hearing lefties talk about it like it's the apocalypse it's worse than 9-11 uh they didn't get enough time even antifa is mad about it really taylor and i talk about this a lot how like just prior to january 6th or at least the year prior like half of the cities in the midwest got burned down by antifa riots and yeah i don't know black rights every dollar store and mcdonald's and missouri got burned the fuck down and yeah we watched it like it was a it was a wild west movie every night you just couldn't go to st louis for months. They would take over the block and the cops would stand by.

Governor Abbott, pardon that guy. The January 6th guy? No, it wasn't January 6th. So his name is Daniel Perry. What he did is he texted to his friend that he was going to kill a Black Lives Matter protester.

And then he drove into a Black Lives Matter protest and the article made it sound like he hit someone, but I'm not sure that part's true, so don't hold me to it. Anyway, when he gets there, one of the protesters, this is Texas, he's wearing an, I think it's an AR-15, but

scary black rifle, and he approaches the car. Now, you're allowed to open carry in this place. And he makes the hand signal to roll down the window. And Paris shoots him and kills him through the window. And today he got pardoned. So he's not going to do time. Or I'm sure he did time only.

Yeah, that guy was in a truck, right? I can look and see if it tells me in this. Yeah, I remember this story. You know who started that whole thing? If it's a thing I'm talking about, this hideous black gimp with no arms or legs. How do you even start something? That sounds like his fiance. His fiance was a quadruple amputee that he took care of.

Imagine your son brings home a quadruple amputee. He's like, Dad, I bring home my girlfriend. And you might be surprised. And you see that she's black. And you're like, oh, come on. She looks like an eight ball, son. Get her the fuck out of here. What do you like?

Bring her in a backpack. I don't think she was there for the event. I don't know how. Why do you think? Yeah, no, she was there for the event i don't know how why do you think yeah no she was goading him he she was goading him she's that fucking nightmare troublemaker she fakes like i saw this video of her slithering out of her chair because that's all they can do is she faking a quadruple amputee yeah notorious yeah it's her fault she's evil yeah throw her in prison really you could just Yeah, throw her in prison. Really, you could just kind of lay her in the park

somewhere. She's not going anywhere. Let me read this. That's what you should do. Prosecutors said Perry, who was stationed at Fort Hood, initiated the counter when he ran a red light and drove his vehicle into a crowd gathered at a protest. I don't think that means he hit anyone.

He drove into the crowd. Foster was openly carrying an assault rifle. Foster's the guy that got shot. Legal in Texas. And approached Perry's car and motioned for him to lower the window. At which point Perry fatally shot him with a handgun. But the video's out there.

He's not waltzing up and saying, excuse me, would you mind? He's screaming and yelling and freaking out. And he had been goaded on by this armless, legless Bob. That's what we call her. We just having a laugh at a fat lady. I'm good with either one. No, no.

I'm scanning the article, but I guess she testified how much harder her life has been now that her caretaker's been murdered. There's no way her life could be any harder. Well, she lost her fiance. Take it easy on the virtue signaling, dude. Just having a black girlfriend gets you all the woke points you need. You don't have to go for one with no arms or legs.

I didn't understand what you were getting at first. Is that her? Arms, just no hands. Okay, well, we can't see what the leg situation is. I think elbows. Like, down to the elbows, they're gone. That's awful. Was this an accident, or was she born like this?

I'm so much more interested in her day-to-day life. She was swimming in the ocean, Taylor, and a shark gotday life you think a shark got her yeah she was swimming yeah right yeah she was that's his name maybe not yeah oh all right speaking of hands getting cut off is a little bit of a diversion i saw two black dudes have a machete fight today at a gas station oh not with my own eyes but on the internet and they both got fucked up i saw two black dudes have a machete fight today at a gas station oh not with my own eyes but on the internet and they both got fucked up i saw the after like one of them's head is like split open but one dude gets his hand literally chopped off in the fight like it's game of thrones like you cut the other guy's hand off and then the guy's got no hand he's got a stump for where

you know where his wrist ends and he retreats a little and then the winner clearly because he has two hands he's like yeah motherfucker and like walks off and then dude the loser runs back in and grabs his own hand because he's gonna need that for later you know that's good yeah he's still got his wits about him well you better hurry by the way it's you got like probably 10 minutes to get to the hospital saunter to that hand yeah i know i saw he was meandering but i've always wondered like you see that in london with all the the pakistanis and the the muslim refugees and they're always fighting with machetes and i never understood that like how what is a machete fight how does it last more than one second like i get you anywhere in your body and you're toast

these guys i saw the after of these guys and they were cut open everywhere they were like but they weren't like deep enough to get to like vital organs you'd have to hit like a blood vessel like a jugular or like they're you know femoral in their groin or something but it's mostly their hands obviously they got lost his fucking hand i've never seen that before i never seen that before i assume that there's only one video of these two guys machete fighting outside of a mobile on the run which is what i'm watching right now and so i had to watch it twice because so early in the fight that guy gets his hand cut off and then he's the guy winning it's not even his it's not his blade hand it's his off hand did he's his off hand. Did he block with it? Is that how he lost it? Yeah, he had it up.

You know, believe it or not, Woody, that's like day one of sword fighting class. This is machete fighting. We have different rules. Oh my god. He didn't have his shield for something. And you're right, Kyle. This guy walks back over to pick his discarded hand up as though he's more embarrassed

about the fact that he lost his hand than he is worried about the imminent problems that are going to come from having a hand cut off in a machete fight. Do we know anything about his current status? Yeah, I saw a clip. They probably sewed the hand back on and then took him to jail, right? Like you can't have machete fights outside of

gas stations. It's mutual combat as far as I'm concerned. Look, if two men show up and both of them just happen to have machetes, like, come on. It's mutual combat as far as I'm concerned. Look, if two men show up and both of them just happen to have machetes, like, come on. This was mutually combat. They both agreed to this. I don't see why anybody would go to jail. What is that term called? Mutually agreed combat? I've heard it before. Like dueling?

Like a legal duel? Like a legal duel. Have you ever heard of mutual combat? No, no, no. I forgot the exact term of it. There's a term where, like, legally legally where you can both agree to combat and it's not even against the law. Yeah. It's not everywhere.

It's a good law because you're fighting with your brother and you're half kidding and maybe the play fighting got carried away, but it's not a big deal. And you were not jumped by anyone. This is your twin brother. And you should be able to say the cops. No, no, no. This isn't what you think it is. is we were arguing about pepsi uh but the proud boys max and john they did four

years for fighting antifa it couldn't have been more mutual combat antifa said do you want to go and they said yes and then the cops said to antifa do you want to press charges and they the antifa said fuck you pig i just got punched 70 times. Where were you? Which is how they say no. Yeah. So the cops went, all right, out of my hands. I'm going to go now. And the Antifa guy didn't go to jail?

Just the Proud Boys? No, they weren't identified. I think you should be able to square off. I honestly think dueling isn't a bad idea. I like the idea, especially the old gentlemanly duels where we're going gonna shoot our guns in the air we're just gonna this was just but i you know you slap somebody in the face have a duel tomorrow at noon i like that i think we should still do that can you imagine the diarrhea you'd have the night before you have a duel i'm just sitting on the ball, just exploding.

I'm not sleeping that night either. No, you'd be so tired going into your life determining duel. You'd be so weakened from the diarrhea and the no sleep. I remember even in school in the eighties, it was pretty common. Like you're going to fight, you know, Clinton Bidecki by the abandoned baseball diamond. And you're like, when now? Cause that's a bummer but no tomorrow after school and you're like that's in one million years

i have so much time to fear before that i've been in that situation a couple of times it's awful like just the butterflies in your belly all day long for For me, it was at the bike racks. Like, oh, at the bike racks, they're going to be waiting for you. Well, darn. That's where my bike is. Yeah, right. I'm going to walk home. Or did you ever get like Barry Pueblo's looking for you? And it's never like a wimp that's looking for you.

Oh, yeah. No, it's not. No. It's the guy who turned into a man in 10th grade. Yeah. It's the guy with a beard. Well, this,

this particular guy, he, Ashley McClimant, he had a, he was a rockabilly and he had a gun rack on the back of his truck. He had a truck in high school, but you can't have guns in Canada. So his gun rack had like a chain,

a baseball bat, like stuff, but not a gun. Weapons, though. Yeah. And he was looking for me for like weeks, and it was just diarrhea, diarrhea, diarrhea. Yeah.

I take the long way around to my class. He's looking for you, and I'm like, he's 6'3 and has a beard, and I'm still mostly a boy. I'm going to go the long way. I'm going to go the long way. I'm going to go the long way to class. I'm not Taylor here. He hit puberty in, like, the sixth grade or something like that.

It's so hard. He had guys who had, like, an apartment. Like, there was men. Yes. That wasn't me. That wasn't me. Thankfully, I didn't ever have to deal with a meet me at the bike rack situation. Of course not.

You were the guy. No, I never wanted to meet. I never wanted to fight anybody at the bike rack. Did you ever get roped in? Taylor, Johnny wants to meet me at the bike rack. Will you please come? I did not. I avoided.

I was a pacifist pussy. I did not put up your Duke's action in high school, but I was large enough that nobody also wanted to fight me didn't you also wrestle i did wrestle just probably helped but i played hockey also and so like like those carry reputations of like oh well don't mess with the wrestling terrifying ninth grader yeah i was a big six foot tall wrestling hockey player that's a no-brainer what you're looking at now is his ninth grade silhouette there was was me and this other guy, Phil. We were the only people in middle school who were growing full beards. And he was a fucking weirdo.

And people would bully him for it because it wasn't cool to be like an adult yet. And so I shaved meticulous. My dad taught me to shave at like 12 very early. And so I'd go in fully baby face because i didn't want to get mocked like phil and then i showed up in ninth grade and everyone's like whoa steve's got like five facial hairs and i'm like oh it's cool now is it oh and now it's cool okay not only was i incredibly late to hip puberty so but i broke 100 pounds in 10th grade right at 15 15 years old. I cracked triple digits.

In 7th grade, I wrestled at 140. But when puberty did hit, it trickled in so slowly. I remember it was on this show. Kyle said something that blew my mind. I was telling a story of how pubes grew in. How you had these patches of crabgrass on either side that didn't bridge the middle. And Kyle's like what he describes the stage of puberty i never had like apparently normal people have puberty all at once

whereas i mine leaked in it was all oh yeah it was like waking up one morning when i was 11 just being like whoa like just like hair was growing like like bamboo that night. I've never heard of Mickey Mouse ears merging in the middle. It's usually they start out near the base and then they spread out. It goes that way. You had like a George Costanza head. He had a shoehorn baldness on his dick.

My 15-year-old, my wife called me recently and she goes, oh my God, his friends, i won't say his name but his friends were in a fight at the nearby high school and he didn't go thank god and i'm like wait what happened so i eventually get the story one of his boys some guy from the nearby high school was hitting on his girlfriend so he's like come on guys let's go and kick his ass they all i don't know where they got a car from i guess they got an uber so they went over and the guy who was there to like take care of the other school my son's friend he immediately gets rocked so hard that

he has a seizure so he's lying on his back after starting the fight just like going this is a tough guy. Okay. So I come home and like all good dads do. I said to my son, what, why weren't you with your friends? Like, why didn't you go to that fight? You went to subway and had a sandwich. And he goes,

what are you talking about? I don't even know her or what the fight was about. I would have been kicked off the baseball team. Do you want me to be a loser? Is that what you want? I go, you come from a long line of losers. Don't throw that away.

That's fair. Is he going to get in the fight next time? I pray. I hope so. I've always said to him, McKinnis's don't quit. We get fired. Yeah, and you have Scottish ancestry.

I always think of the Scottish as like a brawling sort of people he has to be alive it took me a long time to realize that my dad wasn't yelling at me he just yells like we i must have been about eight and he's in the we were driving across country so i think we were in vancouver in the rockies at the time and he was out of gas he ran out of gas and my mother's like you stupid asshole you can't even punch a fucking gas tank it's got a lever you can see it he is punching his driver his name is jimmy mckinnis james and he's punching his own steering wheel as he drives going you asshole james you asshole furious at jimmy mckinnis himself punching that steering wheel i was like oh that's just how he expressed himself

where's the country you from he's just a yeller i was born in england my parents are from glasgow and we moved to canada when i was about five Ontario, Ottawa. And then I moved to Quebec when I was 18, Montreal, which I consider a different country. And then we moved to New York in my late 20s. Oh, okay. So about half my life in America, but I'm known as Canadian, which is great. I'm fine with that.

You've got the accent. It's very, very mild. Do you think I have a Canadian accent? 100%. On some words, you hit it yeah like about about a little more yeah not as intense as i did that normal yeah i had a few more beers and it'd be a boot i hear it when i go back by all my friends sound like leprechauns they're like fucking check out mckinnis fucking strolling back from the states he's got a fucking six pack

of coors bank what the fuck is coors bank with their guy their guy i'm sorry i don't understand a word you're saying uh when you watched your dad like have a spaz out like that because a lot of people will like be like man why is my dad so angry and then you'll see like your grandpa in a state like that and he's like a level above was your grandfather even like obviously the full scott oh more intense like he was evil like he would lose his temper and beat up his kids like he was roy jones in the ring like he would punch my uncles my dad never got beat up because he always had good grades but uh but you know what's funny about my dad he's got a boxer's nose because in glasgow student was like the n-word it was the worst

thing you could be and i kind of get it when i see these students protesting right now and they're they're encampments and stuff i'm like wow you really are the lowest people there are you're worse than abos and let's call them abos too I thought I was the only one. We have a huge Aboriginal listenership. Black and Indigenous. Isn't that such a gay term? I choose to hone in on the groups that have no protection organizations around them. And that's one of them.

That and the deaf. So students are losers right now. uh so students are losers right now whatever you want about but back when my dad was young in the 50s in in scotland um you do these things called o levels there's a really good system i wish we had it here and they don't do it in britain anymore so at 14 you do your o levels if you're smart we're paying for you to go to college if you're not we're paying for you to get a trade and they would separate the wheat from the chaff and it didn't matter if you're not, we're paying for you to get a trade. And they would separate the wheat from the chaff. And it didn't matter if you're rich or poor. If you're a dumb, smart guy, well, you can get a trade or you can just have your parents take care of you, whatever.

We don't care. And if you're a smart, poor guy, you're going to private schools. So my dad was in the slums, but he had a private school uniform with the tie and everything. And they'd call him a student. And he'd have to fight every day. So he ended up being a great fighter but my his father would just beat the shit out of the ones who didn't get the scholarship at their old levels and like he would fight them like a man fights a he'd be punching them down

these marble steps at the age of 12 just a violent and he was a communist too. A violent communist piece of shit. He was actually a communist? Like a real deal? Yeah, the real deal. He was the head of the Glasgow Communist Party or some shit. That's so not what I picture when I think of Scotland. He had to have been a weirdo

over there too, right? Scotland, Canada, Ireland. Anyone who's near a big guy they are super lefty underdog they they are all socialist because they hate the cool big brother like elvis presley's brother if he had one right if you asked elvis presley elvis presley's brother what are you about he'd be like well i don't wear blue suede shoes and i'm not i'm not a hound dog you'd be like hey i get it you're not elvis but who are you like in canada we would write these like what does it mean to be canadian and it was always like well i'm not a racist in the clan and i'm not an

evangelical nut and i'm not a big fat pig in a monster truck and it was all america america america so you know you go to a glasgow celtics soccer match and they're all holding up the palestinian flag like this isn't from october 7th this is like 10 years ago because they know that palestine is the underdog and they're near the big dog so they just blindly worship all underdogs so yeah all scots are rabid socialist lefties woke morons same with ireland you say the word trump in ireland everyone has a heart attack and same with canada that's depressing i i knew canada was like that like ireland's always finding themselves in opposition to us

and i knew ireland you know i know they don't care for england they weren't there in world war two okay i always pictured scotland is like just being cool guys doing their own thing up there yeah i mean it's it's it's it's depressing because like irish people are fucking funny and they're great drinkers and the scots every single human being in glasgow is fucking hilarious like louis ck would people would feel sorry for him in glasgow because he's never made a good joke it's sort of like if you go to Scandinavia, your wife becomes the ugliest woman in the world. If you go to Glasgow, you're the least funny person that has ever lived. I'm constantly like, it's like sparring with some fucking pros.

I'm just like, okay, I've got to get funny. One time we were running for the bus, me and my gran, and we'd missed the stop and my gram was fast enough to catch the bus and the bus driver opens it or he goes just you keep going hand you're gonna get downtown for i do a random bus driver in the world of accents they might have the funniest one them and australians are up there like they everything they say is funny. Australians are good, but you know Scottish are peak.

I think you're right. Best accents in the world are Scottish and Jamaican. I would love to hear a Jamaican guy and a Scottish guy in a heated argument. That would be like a waterfall. That would be heaven. You could go to sleep to that at night. Unfortunately, there's so little crossover with those groups.

Yeah. Yeah. Probably for their own good. That'd be a good podcast. That's the name of the podcast. And they just discuss it the whole time. You got smoke drinking that whiskey. You got bubble and closing in on me, you know.

Don't you get me started. I would enjoy that. I gotta close this video of this guy losing his hand. He's been auto-playing over and over, huh? He's just auto-playing over and over. I thought there was so much more keeping hands on than that. No, that's the second hand I've seen get cut off in this week. I saw another video where a guy attacks this guy.

They're having a fight. One's on a motorcycle, maybe. One's on a car. And they've had some bullshit fender bender attacks this guy they're having a fight uh one's on a motorcycle maybe one's on a car and they've had some bullshit fender bender i think they're both asian and they're having like a really shitty old man fight where nobody knows now but then one dude pulls out a box cutter and you know a box cutter is just an inch and a half two inches he starts hitting this guy with it and i guess he hits enough of his wrist that his hand is dangling off by just tendon or something like that like he cuts his hand off with a fucking box cutter but and i guess he's the guy wasn't feeling it first so he gets hit all over he's just drenched in blood by the time it's over so don't fight people with box cutters i learned that this

week too no who knew i'm looking at a blade i didn't know that i'm looking at the carpal bones right now and there is a space right above those two arm bones where you get it in the right spot and you're good to go must have been what happened to this gentleman at the mobile he wasn't a gentleman I looked into it

no he was a machete wielding wild man I believe he was described is that what they said a machete wielding wild man, I believe he was described. Is that what they said? A machete wielding? That's what I'm calling him. Jesus. Was that America? No, they were speaking... Well, they weren't speaking English, so who knows?

It wasn't mutual combat legally. So there's no way to possibly know if they were in America or not. I've been enjoying the student encampments because in most cases, like here in Georgia and Atlanta at Emory university, they just sent the Georgia state patrol in. That's that video of the really stout cop picking the fem boy up and just

like dead lifting him and walking away as the, as he just, he's like, he can't believe he just got picked up. The only clip I've seen like that i really got a true laugh out of at those protests was like all those like drunk frat guys and then like some fat pig of a woman comes up and like is trying to in trying to engage them in like a discussion about not really a discussion where she gets to scold someone for as long as she pleases which is her idea of a discussion i'm sure

and like immediately like some and you can hear in his voice he's like you know nine coors bankies deep and he's just she's like you guys are fascists and he's like lose some weight you fucking pig you fat pig oh is that the one where the guy was making that was allegedly making ape sounds no that was a different one. I made up a different one. He was... I mean, that's a safe allegation. It reminded me of Black Panther. And then there's like, oh, look at me. He was both.

Genre. He really went at it. And he seemed to have some hatred in his eyes, if I do say so myself. But she was a big fat cow who was stepping to them saying some crazy shit too. She was saying like death to America probably or something about Palestine. So I don't know.

What, did she get her feelings hurt? Yeah, can't get on board with the ape sounds. That's what he was going for. He really should have went with bovine sounds, right? He should have mooed at her. Oh, if you moo at her, you can't be mad at that. Right? You think they wouldn't be mad at that?

They're mad about everything, dude. The fatties aren't as well protected. They're very well protected. When you're projecting a sound from my attack, it's like, it's got more than moo. Moo is kind of soothing.

You need like a ha, ha, ha. You're right. It's hard to go with herbivore attack lines. You're right. He's hard to go with herbivore attack lines. You're right. He made the right move. I went to that thing. I went to the Columbia one dressed as a liberal, and I talked to some of them. And I used to do this character, Miles McInnes, my twin brother who's a liberal.

But Miles has the courage of his convictions, and he'll argue with you. And I realize my fake character is too cool for these people. They won't say their opinions. They direct you over to someone who is media trained. And the guy who's media trained was talking on, I don't know, YouTube or TikTok or something about how all Zionionists need to die and then all racists need to die and you're like that's a lot of people that you're especially your definition of racist is like someone who voted for trump half the country and you're media trained i went up to these two guys they were guarding the one of the gates that went into the encampment and i was like can i talk to you guys they're like we have someone who's trained in media and they go,

yeah, you're an adult male at college. You're trained in media. This is just saying what you think. And they go, we're not, we are. They just kept repeating the same thing,

like a robot. And they each had their own individual umbrella. Cause it was kind of misting that day, not raining, but like they were ready for it. And I look at them. You say it like it's gay, but it's more gay to share an umbrella.

Alright, so hear me out here. You wear an umbrella in Glasgow, you're a dead man. You can't riot with an umbrella. Are you here to do business or not? You know? Sometimes Antifa will get the big black ones to stop you recording. This was the one your aunt has in her purse.

Like, it folded out to about this big. And it was probably like this when it's all folded up. And I go, guys. I broke character. I was like, guys, it's not raining, you faggots. And they both let go. Oh, whoa. And they undo their umbrella.

They undid their umbrella when you called them out? Yeah. Damn, they need to have the courage of their convictions. It wasn't raining at all. You know what there was? There was tons of ugly Asian girls. Like, uncool Asian girls. The kind that you don't even beat off to. The flat-faced ones.

Yeah, the badly dressed ones. I hate that. Not even good at math. I realize it's these girls. That's correct. They're like good drivers. They're not real Asian. I think you're just a fat Mexican in disguise.

Maybe you're just a white girl with black hair that's really stoned. Yeah. But I – Just a sleepy white girl. Yeah. Are you Asian or did you just wake up? Actually, some journalist was over at my house recently, and he was from Germany. My kids look Asian because they're Native American.

And he said to my son, he's like, hello, how are you doing, little boy? He goes, fine. And he goes, did you just wake up? I'm like, you know, you're being racist, right? He was a lefty there to do a hit piece, too. But anyway, I saw these Asian chicks and i realized this is just fashion they're not there because they give a shit about palestine or any any politics at all they're probably not even remotely politically active but this is the thing to do and they have not been going to parties their whole lives because their tiger mom made them

focus on the piano lessons and they couldn't go to parties so tiger mom's not around and i don't think columbia is very strict it's probably really easy especially if you've been studying your fucking ass off since you were born so they're having their childhood like they're living out their adolescence and going to parties and this is the party they can't drink right so i like when they dress up i i like the outfits i like theises. I love seeing them in the COVID mask in 2024. And you're right. It's exactly what you described, the way that you'll have two of the worst security guards you can imagine that they drafted from the student body will be standing by some refuse they've stacked together and not allowing entry to anyone, any students, any media, any just person. And it's a, you know, it's public university. There's no inch of that place you shouldn't be able to walk around on regardless of who you are.

Yeah. And then again, they're like, what do you think about, you know, all of the Israeli women who were raped? For example, you, you know, do you think those sex crimes matter? And you want to talk to Dave over there. He's the media guy. Talk to Dave. And it's like, I want to talk to to dave over there he's the media guy talk to dave and it's like i'm gonna talk to you i'm talking to the people who are out here with masks you know holding you know chaining everything up and superglue and locks and shit and locking everything

down no no you're gonna talk to dave he talks for us you know why they know they're gonna be humiliated you know they know you're gonna say something like what's the population of palestine what's the population of israel uh do you know where they treat gays in gaza and they're going to have nothing and they don't want and this has been going on for a while remember they used to have debates with right and left you had richard spencer on espn you had david duke on cnn they used to talk to the right but now they're so bad at knowing stuff. I think the term is stupid that they say, don't give Nazis a platform. So in general, we're at a disadvantage. And I've been listening and I'm like, all these kids don't know anything.

Whatever political beliefs they have, they've had for six months. They're 19 years old. They don't know from the river to the sea. They have no idea what to do. That's going to be true of the right as well. Like 19 year olds just don't have the depth of background typically to to argue their point any conservative conservative 19 year olds know a fuck ton more than liberal 19 year olds all right well i can't prove it either way but uh here's why he's right it's fashionable one of them is fashionable and when the other is not

you you must have some convictions if you're gonna choose choose right at 19, right? I used to fuss at the right-wing guys who go to college campuses and debate with children and it's like, you're dunking on a Fisher Price hoop here. It is low-hanging fruit, yeah. Well, that's the only thing that Ben should be working dunk on. That's sort of the core. I see you. I took

me a second. I was like, no, he's really smart. Because he's a Jew. It's like in Star Wars where they flew into that thing. Okay, I'm missing your jokes. They flew into the Death Star. This is where all these bad ideas, bad laws, incompetent judges, this is where they begin. So you might as well nip it in the bud, get down there.

But you're right. It's not very challenging. The shit they say is fucking retarded. But have you seen these streeters where they go questions like, can you name the seasons? And my favorite one ever was, what does Y.E.S. spell? And the woman says, Wes. What? I think because wise is like a what?

What? Yeah. That stuff has to be cultivated. I see the left do it at Trump rallies Where they find People within defensible positions Usually dressed up in their QAnon weirdos Yeah

And they get dunked on But there's going to be dumb people But here's why You just said it They have to have the courage of their convictions if you're going to be young and conservative but this is especially true of like conservative blacks and coulter once said our blacks are better than their blacks and they accused her of saying that we own blacks but if you're a black dude and you love trump you're

arguing through thanksgiving you're arguing at work your cousins every barbecue you're getting raked over the coals every year or you're closeted god forbid hiding that every day afraid you'll be exposed and right yeah your maca hat under your bed in a lot of places especially like new york and shit it being conservative is like being gay in the 50s where you just sort of look over at a guy and you're like – I was at my wife's family reunion and there was a – like they're all lefties, Midwestern, Madison, Wisconsin types. And this was – she's half Indian, half white. So this is the white side. And I was talking to her cousin and we were told not

to talk about politics because my mother-in-law is very, very, she's a liberal activist. And so we're avoiding it. And then I heard him say, yeah, I mean, you could tax these companies more, but you know, you get less of something when you tax it. So maybe there'd be less business. And I was like, and then I sort of sauntered over to him like a homo. I was like, yeah, I mean, the concept of taxing makes sense. We need roads and stuff,

but it is innately corrupt and bureaucratic. And then we had a couple more gay clues. And then I was like, I'm going to go pick up more beer. You want to come? And he's like, and then we get in the car and it's just like Trump. Holy fuck. He's kicking ass like this when he was president.

They kind of be screaming at each other. The whole drive. Yeah. And then we get back to the party and like, just like gays who had fucked in an alleyway, we both split ways and like, I go put the beer in the fridge and like, just like gays who had fucked in an alleyway, we both split ways. And like, I go put the beer in the fridge and we sort of have our backs to each

other because we're not allowed to think these things. You fade back into the background. Yeah. Actually, I think there should be more trans kids. Yeah. I don't think there's enough. Every single one.

We were talking, you guys were talking about like the people on those protests, not what they're talking about and it reminded me of this i'll call it theory that dick masterson was talking about a long time ago where he's like if you're ever in like a serious like political discussion with like a woman because he's big on the woman stuff he's like ask them what year the most common wars in history started, and you will immediately realize their level of understanding of the world. So he'll be like, ask him, what years? Give me the gist. When was World War I?

And he said to try this with the women in your life, and I did with a couple, and they didn't know. They'd be like, I don't know, like 18 know like 1895 something yeah i could do ballparks 1911 1918 like it can be close yeah i think he stole that from me oh my thing was i say i said that exact thing verbatim but i said ask in the population of america and you will not get i asked one lesbian i was arguing with about illegal immigration i said you're not going to believe me by the way so get ready i said uh how many legals do you think are in this country now the left usually says 12 although it's been 12 with fucking biden but and the right if you're really like right you say 30 that's the range 12 to 30 seems to be the range she said 70 billion with a b billion a big number oh man my dad's a mathematician and i said dad work out for me

how many people could possibly fit in america he spent like 20 hours on it. He was like, can I freeze lakes? See, now that's a smart guy. I've got a problem here with sky rises, you know, because you could keep, if it was nonstop skyscrapers, but now you need farmland for food so you're importing the food and now if it's just skyscraper to skyscraper coast to coast on frozen lakes and mountains i could easily get 80 billion in there it goes subterranean if we have to so technically that

maybe she's right yeah 70 billion that's a baffling answer i've never got with someone that's that stupid yeah i've never got the answer remotely close on any of those stuff and then i just go well now you're being disingenuous i don't care that you don't know how many illegals there are but you brought up this discussion of immigration and it's like me arguing with you about ballet so why are you wasting my fucking time? If you don't know who Nureyev is. Yeah. Why,

why even have the discussion if there's no in road to have a productive discussion? And I'm not learning anything. I'm getting dumber. I want, I want to lose an argument. Like I'm, I'd love my mind changed occasionally. Wouldn't that be nice?

Yeah. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not against having my mind changed. I love when it happens. I won't have that stupid opinion anymore because you set me straight. Thank you. I was going through life with my fucking left blinker on this whole time.

Everybody but you is laughing. You pointed it out, taught me to turn that bitch off. Now I'm smarter. Yes, exactly. It seems like the other people sometimes, their world, their reality would crumble should one piece of this mosaic of nonsense that they've based their existence upon be crumbled or tarnished by facts, reality, or common sense. If any of those things happen, then it's a domino effect. It all comes raining down. Who am I really?

Yeah. Kindergarten is woke. Grade school is woke grade school is woke college woke so you you tell a 25 year old that gays are murdered in palestine and the whole like not just last year's me is garbage my whole existence has been garbage since i was in kindergarten and no one wants to take that on that's that's terrible well they they can't reconcile it because in their head everything is divided into an oppressor and oppressed paradigm and their like core belief is like no matter what white people bad no matter what like that white people must be bad and so then if you're like well actually these non-white people are doing

some fucked up shit too yeah like some underdog are dicks sorry yeah but there's been studies that have shown that the more uh when people are confronted with data that contradicts their beliefs they become more steadfast in those beliefs like doomsday cults when that day happens and the world doesn't end they don't lose members they gain members that's shocking and you go i mean imagine if there were giant if imagine if there were heavily funded organizations that for repeated said the world was ending for decades at a time and they kept getting more adherence that'd be wild imagine if they had that kind of imagination we can't work with hypotheticals around here i can't i can't imagine i can't even fathom imagine if they said new york would be underwater in 1972 they taught us that kindergarten i remember there was this thing about they were using

pennies stacked on end as like a way of showing how much the oceans would rise i was five and so scared because i had seen land before time when all the dinosaurs get smoked. I thought that was coming for us too. They had us terrified. That was 38 years ago. 33 years ago. Have they raised it all? The oceans? I always go back to my thing

that beachfront property would be getting cheaper. It would be uninsurable. It's bought by people with no future like former presidents yeah i remember wealthy like my first true terror as a young child was like watching a fox news or cnn segment with my parents about how the world was imminently ending because when Africanized bees arrived, they were going to kill all the normal bees and there would be no food. And they,

I still remember this graphic of them showing this horrifying red wave migrating from Africa and then showing it hit the East coast and growing out. And I'm like, am I going to become an adult? Am I going to survive till the end game of life? Because with these Africanized bees, there's no telling. And then that ended up, I don't think that's a fear at all anymore. No, I think,

uh, I remember the killer bee nightmare movie. It came out on Fox. I begged my mom to let me stay up and watch the whole thing. It started at nine. Maybe it went to 11. My bedtime was probably 10. Please.

I'll promise. I'll get up. And I watched killer bee nightmare. And these, this family is stuck in the house. Bees are getting through all the crevices and cracks they're stuffing them through full of shit but the little daughter maybe eight ten years old she goes into anaphylactic shock she's fucking allergic to bees and we've got to like make that hero run to the dad of course has to like wrap her up in a blanket run to the car and like take all the bee stings and get her

somewhere to help i I was so scared. There's so much child abuse going on. If we're not telling them the world's going to end, we're telling them they're the wrong gender, we're telling them that Trump was going to grab their pussy. We're just constantly abusing these fucking children. Some of that might happen. Imagine you put a puppy in a tiny little dog crate for 70% of the day. Puppies need to run around.

And they put them in these tiny little desks. When we were young, we had two recesses, and then we had an hour for lunch. They're getting, like, no recess sometimes. And then their lunch is, like, half an hour to eat and half an hour to play. And then on Saturday, I'll see my youngest boy 11 with his kid. They will destroy the house, destroy outside,

make up seven games on the trampoline, fucking making jumps. And it's a good 10 hours of, of like what you and I would consider sprinting. Yeah. These things in a little fucking box to do what to draw shut the fuck up yeah the same way like like i was you know born in early 90s 91 and so like the big the first huge wave of putting kids on like riddling was

happening when i was in grade school shout out to my parents for not allowing... I had a teacher in second grade be like, Taylor's really kind of energetic, and he won't stop talking during class. This is a smart guy, Gavin. You put this guy on a bed of beans, he could have went far. I could have been something.

You could have been something. I mean, we'd be saluting you or buying something with your name on it a little instead you tell dick jokes on a podcast that's fair that's true maybe they were wrong way to make money that's pretty drugged me up like they like i remember that like there was a friend of mine who still a close friend of mine actually listens to this show sometimes and he had such little appetite from being a grade schooler on meth that like he didn't grow as big as he could have and i think he fueled me into becoming bigger because he would get in trouble scolded by his mom if he would come

home with food in his lunchbox and so for like a solid i think all of second and third grade i ate two lunches every every single. I'd be like, what's on the docket today, bud? Then he'd take out his salami sandwich. He keeps getting skinnier, so his lunches keep getting bigger and fattier. I was cooking.

My body was cooking in the age of, what, eight, nine? You know what they do up in Westchester, where I live? They'll say to the the parent uh your kid's doing pretty badly we're gonna have to fail him and uh he's not gonna move forward and they go oh fuck what can we do about this well he's very fidgety in class i think he might have attention deficit disorder which we all have and uh so they go okay if you can get

that diagnosed then i can't punish him because that's a disease and they go okay great great i'll do it so go get a child psychologist he says yes his adhd whatever and then they go oh he has adhd he needs ritalin or adderall and because he has the disease you need to take the medication for the disease. So you've just extorted this woman and forced her to make her son into a speed addict. It's amphetamine sulfate. It's meth. And you made a kid do meth because you're such a lazy cunt teacher that you want your kids to be high because you'll get better grades because they're fucking beaming. That's what they do with homework.

Homework isn't in the real world. People don't bring work home maybe three times a year, but your dad doesn't unfold his briefcase after dinner and start working on that budget report. He did that at work. You're doing extra work because she didn't do her job.

Now they're making the kids do speed. They're making them into meth heads so she'll get better test results. It's fucking child abuse. Have you done Adderall? Oh, yeah. In college. Yeah, a couple times. I had a five milligram pill, like the cut one into quarters.

Yeah. Had it at like 7 a.m. with a coffee. At like 11.30, I need half a bottle of bourbon just to get to bed. Yeah, you need that smoothed over. I've taken – I was prescribed Adderall so I can get a prescription whenever I want. That's basically how it works. And oh my God, it's great.

And small doses of it are like energy and motivation personified. Oh my God. I know somebody who takes, I think our boy Dirt takes either 40 or 60 a day milligrams a day holy fuck so like if he ran out of pills he could like die no i think he'd be he just wants some more um pretty bad i heard i did it on joe rogan's podcast i had just a quarter and like four beers so i'm like relaxed and a genius and rogan was like i have a new best friend so he invited me to

like a mma fight i got front row seats and then and then uh he when he was in new york he invited me to the green room at uh it's not i forget the name of the place it's on the upper east side comedy cellar it's a tiny green room like it's the size of my office here and so we're almost like facing each other in a bathroom basically and i'm not on adderall and i'm just like me so i'm like i had a fart earlier and it was like i thought it was a shit but i don't know why but it wasn't it was just like i guess my ass was sweaty and he's like what is this i thought you were always going to be on point, dude. Yeah, you lied.

I didn't lie. I'm a friend. Look, I'm strong. Look, I got tattoos just like you, Joe Rogan. Look at this. Upside down guy. Adderall is so much. You should not be giving it to kids. Adderall is so much energy.

I know the Nazis were on amphetamines throughout a lot of the Blitzkrieg. It makes sense. It's perfect to just be able to work for days on end while eating very little. Eating everything, yeah. If you're doing a job like sighting, if you're looking for the enemy or something, being able to

stay awake and focused when you haven't eaten breakfast and you you know maybe you walk 20 miles that day pop that pill and you're fucking the best you you can be that's why it's in uh air force uh pilots like go back like they've got amphetamines in there when you crash you're gonna pop some amphetamines put your p226 on and go we probably learned something from world War II. I bet we met our guys up a little bit. In World War II, we did.

Yeah, we had it in the flight bags as well. Oh, really? Yeah, if you want to get rid of 6 million people, it takes a planning and you got to stay awake and you got to really... We did the math. They have to be going around the clock. Yeah.

Hitler, the rest of the war is going so poorly. If you could, you know, look at a bigger picture here. Instead of just train schedules, nonstop. Don't get me wrong. They are running on time. That's great. No, do not let him see the video, everyone, of him at the Olympics. He will not like the response.

Yeah, Adolf, I'm not criticizing. Don't get me wrong. But like this, you're telegraphing a little too much, my friend. He looked like he was having a blast, though, right? Like that might be the happiest we ever saw him. I've seen that one video where he's at like the Eagle's Nest or whatever it's called, and he's got his German shepherd and his ladies there, and maybe Goering or somebody or Goebbels comes up,

and they're chatting and looking almost human. And it's like, hey, that's a good day too. But that day at the Olympics, I think that's his best day. Best race I ever saw. Yes. Us and then ours, of course. You know who was there louis louis luigi louis fierpini no the guy who is who wrote the book unbroken that they uh and joe lee made into a shitty movie it's a really great book

though and he was he was just it's it's i think it's the best book i ever read he was, he was just, it's, it's, I think it's the best book I ever read. He was like a bad kid, Louis Zamperini, Louis Zamperini. And he was like a bad kid that got into trouble and he got shot down in World War II. And so he, he, he, he was in a raft for like 40 days. They, he started a war with sharks because some sharks jumped onto his raft and he was like, we had a deal. I won't fuck with you you don't fuck with me you just fuck with me so then he started luring baby sharks and eating them and then he got attacked by a bigger shark he goes to um he goes to he manages to get to some island in japan they catch him he's a prisoner of war uh he gets tortured in there by this guy they called

the bird who was on 60 minutes they found him and the bird was like yeah we just did what we had to do I'm the bad guy? Yeah you tortured men to death that's bad and it's such an incredible story and he remembers Hitler fucking checking him out as he was running damn

Hitler just needed the guy behind him to be like you're doing it again he needed a flask Hitler just needed the guy behind him to be like, you're doing it again. He needed a flask. You're bobbing too much. You need a few shots of Jagermeister or something to take the edge off, dude. You're freaking everyone out. Wasn't Hitler like a teetotaler with alcohol?

Like he didn't drink. But one of those guys who's like, alcohol? I will never touch this stuff. Where's my meth boy? It's like, this is the circuitous route. It was like custom concoctions that he was getting injected with. There was multiple stimulants in there and

vitamins, I'm sure. I'm sure whoever was injecting him, that doctor, didn't think it was poison. He thought this was like the Uber health serum or some shit. I was picturing pills. I didn't know he was getting shot up. Did you know at that Olympics too, the guy who gives him the injection, his friend said, did you give Adolf his three milliliters? And he goes, three milliliters?

I thought you said 30. And he went, oh, fuck. And then they look up in the stands and they see him popping away. He got fired after that. He got fired. He was fired for giving the most fun day ever. If Adderall makes people thrive in school and in productivity

and organize their fucking Spotify playlists or whatever it makes them do, why does meth ruin people? It's just a matter of how much. I mean, adderall is metered out in small doses no one does like a little little lick of meth they do like this much and then they're awake for 22 days but see there's lots of people who just do meth and they don't

ruin their lives though like you mentioned how like strippers and porn stars do meth like they're all functioning meth users. There's some people. They get the job done. I've got a meth head coming over in 20 minutes. Matty O'Dell. We do this show on Thursday nights. That's where I've got to go soon.

It's called Cops and Robber on censored.tv. We watch cop videos with cops. Then we have Matty as the felon and maddie's got a bad ticker uh so he'll just have a little bit of mass just just a just a little dip and it'll help him stay up and be sharp and he's been doing meth for like decades lemmy from motorhead he would i know a band that went on tour with them. He'd have a dinner plate full of speed and like a pile of speed, this much speed. And he would lick his switchblade and then he would dip it onto the

powder just a little bit. And then he would lick the knife. Yeah. And he lived to like 77. I don't know how old he was, but he was fucking old. That's a long time to live. Licking drugs off a knife.

That is a pretty cool way to get fucked up i saw a documentary about it his son was in the documentary and his son said he died at 70 his son said uh his son said that lemmy said to him son i want you to know that drugs kill and i've lost a lot of friends to heroin and it's a deadly drug that will ruin your life even well before you die it will have destroyed everything around you. But if you are going to do drugs, do speed. You won't die. Yeah, it's a productive drug.

Well, I guess in the world compared to heroin. Nobody's getting anything done on heroin. You need your television taken apart real quick? You're in luck, sir. You're right about the meth being the amounts because I thought for the longest time that meth like that something about smoking it actually destroyed your teeth

but apparently that's not even true like their teeth fall apart because they're just awake with the driest mouth in the world for days on end not brushing not doing anything but you know taking apart and putting together ham radios incorrectly like yeah that's all i can imagine they're doing and not eating a drink

fucking kegs of alcohol like coke and speed i mean i've done plenty of both but without booze there'd be no fun i i had this trainer once who would just do coke. He didn't like alcohol. And he'd go to these clubs. He was ripped. And he'd go to these clubs like. And girls would hit on him because he was so muscular. And he would just go, give me your number. They would write their names and their phone numbers and hand it to him.

And he called them the next day when he could speak. But otherwise, he was just weak. It it's no fun did you find coke addictive like i mean it sounds like a dumb question but no you didn't have a pull towards it no i've seen guys get addicted and i've never i saw one guy die harold hunter from kids that skater kid the black kid he i think he od'd he had a heart attack or something and i guess old dudes like john entwistle and john peel i think when you hear someone dies at like 3 a.m on a friday night and you're like yeah i think i know what caused your heart attack but i haven't tried coke but i've read about it and i've heard that people are kind of underwhelmed like it's not

this oh my god this is the dragon that you've been telling warning me about and it's really just kind of a mild happiness well if you were in really great shape and you had a uh a good breakfast and you know you you're you got a raise that day or something and your your wife was madly in love with you and she was trying to blow you and you're like not now i got to get to work to my fun job that's kind of like what it is it's not like acid the walls are breathing and there's a little ewok comes in and tells you to go fuck yourself uh this is uh and so if you're at a bar and you're getting sloppy and you're tired and you don't feel like socializing you can instantly have that fit guy just had a big breakfast and then you're like, hi, everyone. Okay.

But it's not good when you get old, especially now with fentanyl. I mean, it's Russian roulette. Right. That would be scary. Yeah. I like it. These guys have these test kits. But the thing I don't get about the test kit is you're assuming that the fentanyl is 100% consistent throughout 100% of this cocaine you have.

How do you not know there's a little chunk over there? There is no way to know. I always took the test kits to be for drinks, like someone who spiked your drink. And then in that situation, it might be, well, you could do it. Specifically fentanyl test kits for cocaine.

You can take your drugs to a place outside the club in many cases. Sure. Specifically fentanyl test kits for cocaine. Oh, okay. You can take your drugs to a place outside the club in many cases. I'm not going to say it, but give it back. So I guess I never really thought about how few people you hear dying from cocaine. Like it's usually Harold. Wait, John Candy. Did John Candy die from? i think he was not john candy fucking uh the other one chris farley chris farley i think blue she harley i think they were

all doing uh uh what do you call it with coke and heroin together uh speedball speedballs yeah because heroin relaxes you so much that your lungs forget to breathe and you suffocate. Cocaine just makes you annoying. Oh, yeah. Dude, I would rather be around a bunch of drunk people sober than a bunch of coked out people sober. Really? It's so fucking obnoxious. They all are getting along too well, coming up with business ideas and like making like guaranteed promises to each other that like,

we're doing this man. Oh, I know. Oh yeah. Don't you? Don't you think that this is just us talking shit right now, dude, brother,

who are you talking to right now? We're open. Doing that kind of shit. And you're just sitting there like, Oh, no one wants a competitor to Uber, but it's an ice cream trucks. You know what else they do?

They think it's louder than it is. So they talk into your ear like this, but their lips are basically touching your ear, and they're like, the girl over there with the red dress on, and she's been staring. And you're like, dude, get out of my car.

Get out of my ear hole. In order to enjoy someone being around someone who's on Coke, you have to be like, I guess I'll do a little Coke. Get me out of the ground floor. And then you guys are starting a grilled cheese restaurant. No thought of, you know, is that enough on the menu? Grilled cheese? Dude, we'll call it Mom's Old Style Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup.

We're going to have 15 different kinds of grilled cheese. Jenos one will have jalapenos it'll be spiced yes we are absolutely doing that's called the gav that's called the gav that's called the oh we'll call it we can all have one's name for ourselves it's it's guys i gotta go it's 7 30 i gotta do this show uncensored appreciate you good luck with your show for sure cheers check out Gavin's links below watch his cop show

which sounds like it would be a good show to get Kyle on as a guest to watch felons behaving despicably it's my favorite thing to do I love those fucking police videos so much. I, I even like the ones that aren't violent.

Now I just like ornery ladies and they don't want to get out of their car. I can watch 25 minute videos. That's just a lady who refuses to get out of her fucking seat. And the most patient state patrolman of all time. Man, please just step out of the vehicle. Please step. And then at the end,

you know, it's coming, you know, it's coming. You know, what's coming? Because you've never once seen a cop take an L in this situation. Never do they go, you know what, ma'am? Get the fuck out of here. You're being so difficult. I give up. I can't handle you.

You were right. You're too much woman. Never do they say that. So that window is getting smashed. My dream scenario is that the window gets smashed they get pepper sprayed and maybe tasered and they end up on the ground because i but because the videos i watch they continue on into the the cop car so there's a little camera back there that watches over you when you're in the back and you they're in there raging foaming at the mouth head

butting the glass kicking the the glass, screaming. Women? Women, men, everything. Yeah. Just losing their shit. And they'll have to hobble them or they'll have to give them the burrito treatment. Now, the burrito treatment is that brand new thing. They put a dunce hat on you, basically. They put a dummy fucking bicycle helmet on you.

And you got to imagine, this lady is like a cute black girl in like a nightgown. And she is screaming but now they've wrapped her up like a fucking enchilada so that she's just completely immobile her she she's wrapped up in like a big um like trapper keeper with handles on it and then they put a retard helmet on her on her but she's still trying to talk shit but she looks so ridiculous she can't even hurt your feelings anymore she's a cracker cracker fat ass cracker okay whatever it might be a cracker but you're a burrito yeah she's got nothing she's wrapped up like a fucking burrito and then they just put her in the car in that thing and she's just in it and then they drive her to the hospital and they pick her up again and they take her through all the people are looking at her it's it's humiliating it's great it's my some of my favorite some of the best entertainment you can get for free i particularly

like it when it's entitled women women like if this woman screams at a cop don't touch me it's like no no no you've given up your right this isn't a consent thing anymore now you're being detained and but they think that they're i guess natural right not to be held even on a shoulder you can't touch me no one can touch me yeah no there's no force field around you but i can absolutely touch you yeah there's definitely instances of that i saw this like waspy looking white lady with a short haircut getting she just she ran from the cops all the way into her garage and then got out like i'm home you can't stop i'm on base she acted like it was

tag you're it and she was on home or something like holding on to the fire pole or the basketball goal or whatever and he's like ma'am i'm conducting a traffic stop right now get back in your vehicle in your garage and roll your window down And he ends up dragging her ass out of her car out and she's eventually like trying to bite them And she's like a snapping turtle She's like lunging her head forward and it's and the the thumbnail for this video is her going ah She looks like a woman you would have a very intelligent conversation with at her very nice job or her offices where she works. But then she immediately turned into just a piece of shit. Just as bad as any of the hobos they drag out of an alley who try to bite people, too.

She's trying to bite them. And she's got that attitude. You do not touch me! You do not. And she she's like why are you growling at me bitch you've seen the one she's a little older maybe threatening 50 she's white she's an old country girl oh i love that that lady's like 65 70 she's old as fuck yeah okay and uh yeah again she like she literally drives off the cop has to chase her and get her to pull over again. Maybe throws it out and drives away. I think you're right.

Yeah. Because she just doesn't agree with what the policeman is trying to do. And eventually he tears her out. She's screaming bloody murder. She may be caught on the seatbelt a little bit when she tries to kick him. And does he tase her? And he's like, you tried to kick me and she's like well i'm a country girl and i don't put up with that it's yeah uh not okay yeah no i love that that's

it's not every day you get to see a grandmother get shot by a taser and roll through the dirt i'm a country girl and i won't put up with that that's what i heard what he say that was the first words out of your mouth you We're talking about traffic stops. This is my assumed identity. I identify as a country girl who doesn't put up with things. Kyle's getting into talking about people getting harmed by cops again. One of his favorite

YouTube compilations. It's a good topic. I love police stops, police cases, all that stuff. Big fan. Mustache is looking thick. Looking good. I like it. We had someone from the dick universe on our show. What was her? Autistic boobs or something?

Mint? Oh, yeah. Mint. Mint salad. I saw boobs on her. Oh, boy. I swear her OnlyFans name was... I'm close to it, though. Autistic boobs. Am I crazy? That's right. It's autistic boobs. Am I crazy? That's right. It's autistic boobs.

Autistic. Yeah. How did she get looped into your world? Well, you already saw the tits. We opened the door. I don't know what your criteria is. Oh, yeah. I do recall like I used to see a lot of posts from you about that Japanese woman who has the most bafflingly big tits. Baffling.

I know. They're great. I stared at him for many hours to try to figure out the mystery of Hitomi Tanaka's tits. I'm going to be an old man trying to decipher the Holy Grail. Just looking at how I think. What's her name? I need to Google her. Hitomi Tanaka. Man man there was the two saddest days of my life the second saddest day of my life was when she retired and the most saddest day of my life was when i found out she's

has a boyfriend oh and that he's some fucking white schlub from Northridge, which is 20 minutes away from me, who plays in some mid-band. I'm like, oh man, that could have been me. That could have been you, dude. Damn. You like boobs this big? Maybe I'm gay. They're not my cup of tea.

You are gay. You're always talking about thighs and being a southern girl and stuff. You're 100% gay. Dude, you can't get him to shut up about being a southern girl it's all day every day with this one you're gonna start working in like a little handkerchief and go like oh mercy our last guest was like he was talking about how gay someone was for holding an umbrella and i'm like god the list keeps growing. To avoid being gay is difficult. How do you hold the umbrella with your asshole? You're not allowed to have an umbrella that's gay.

Oh, yeah, that's gay. That's true. I mean, I thought just not fucking guys was enough. But I didn't realize how complicated it was. Are you kidding? That's the straightest thing there is, Woody. Are you saying gay guys are in prison? That's crazy.

That's the straightest guys there is. They are you saying gay guys are in prison that's crazy that's the straightest guys there is they're all fucking each other well one side of them is very straight yeah the the dealer as they like to be called like the you know the receiver very gay because that just means he wasn't powerful enough or didn't commit a threatening enough crime kyle would have been a receiver he would have in when kyle was in jail oh yeah yeah enough crime kyle would have been a receiver he would have when kyle was in jail oh yeah yeah for weed stuff he would have pre-jail post-jail he'd have been the deliverer that's rough yeah yeah um kyle knows who who tommy tanaka is i bet best boobs in the world kyle who who are they who do they belong to it was eva green for me for a long time because

i saw her in that uh can't remember the name of the movie right now, The Outsiders or some shit. And she has full frontal in that. She like, you see her vagina very clearly. And I saw that on HBO when I was like 13, 14, 15, somewhere in there. And so it's been Eva Green for a long time. Then I saw Monica Bellucci in the second Matrix movie. She's wearing a latex dress

and I went down a rabbit hole with her. Okay. So you're into like celebrities women boobs. Where else would I go? Like sports or something? Porn stars only. I get kind of annoyed at like celebrity

women, famous women. I don't even really think of them as like on the level of attractiveness when I'm thinking, I just go straight to porn stars. Cause like celebrity women, it's like, you just, you know,

you're keeping it all under wraps, kind of being a cock. The chicks I mentioned are the ones who throw it all out there. Like Monica Bellucci is the chick who gets butt raped and irreversible. Like she's got no shame. Oh, really? I want it. We were talking about meth earlier, and I was

saying some people do meth casually and they're fine. I have a meth head here. Oh, come on over, sir or madam. I hope it's him in a costume. Resident of meth head. How's it going?

Yeah, it's me. I love it. love it i love that i thought you'd be thinner i mean i've probably been doing meth since 2000 okay do you do it every day or just a treat i did for 11 years straight i did every day What's the best thing to do on meth? Sex. Tell me what's better about meth sex. Oh, my God. They call it chem sex. It's just intense. It gets crazy, though. People will get their weird perversions that'll come out and fucking...

It lowers your inhibitions. A chick? Yeah, she stabbed me when I was fucking her. Wow. Does meth on you last too long? I was fucking her. Oh, wow. Does bedlam last too long? I don't know if it's related. Oh, yeah, it's not like coke where you get coke dick and you can't get it up. You'll get it up and it'll be up for like a week. Yeah.

It sounds way better than coke. I remember one time I was banging this chick and we didn't leave the bedroom, honestly, God, for 24 hours straight. That must have smelled terrible. Dude, I think we sweat through the mattress, the box spring, the rug, honestly, God, for 24 hours straight. That must have smelled terrible. Dude, I think we sweat through the mattress, the box spring, the rug, and the floor. It was pretty intense. Oh, my God.

You just rotted the floorboards out. How often do you dabble with the meth now? Very rare. Holidays? Not as infrequently now. Special occasions, special events. Christmas, Mother's Day. My regular was six days up one day sleep. So what's the trick to doing meth and not dying, you know, living a life. You don't smoke it and you don't shoot it.

Okay. Sniff it or, or, uh, ingest it. Like you, you could just throw it in your mouth and eat it or put it in your, uh, I used to, I was in a motorcycle club. I used to put it in my water or Gatorade and shake it up. Jesus. And just drink it as I go around my day. A little meth at a time.

He made a Gator meth. How do you find your meth, Deirdre? I'm being in possession because I'm not going to taste your water or your Gatorade. I'm so thirsty, sir. Can I just? Yeah. Excuse me. your your it'd be so unless i'm so thirsty sir could i just yeah well excuse me i know it's it's 117 degrees out here in utah but can i have some of your data rate no you've shown me a whole new i know guys i'm from new york uh i live about a mile from gavin and uh there's guys that i know that are in their 80s that have for the last 40 years,

religiously every day gotten up and put in their coffee or their orange juice or whatever morning breakfast that they're having, like an old school, like 80s Coke spoon amount of meth into it, just shake, stir it in and drink it and go about their day. So they're still around because I guess they're keeping it to a low dose. If you low dose it, if you micro dose it, you'll be all right. Micro dosing meth. The thing is, is people start to do it. They think it's like Coke and they start laying out big rails and they start, like they overdo it.

We used to call it getting caught deep in the bag. Oh, let me ask you this. So you've taken real meth, obviously. Have you ever taken Adderall or Ritalin? I've taken Adderall once in the bag. Let me ask you this. Real meth, obviously, have you ever taken Adderall or Ritalin? I've taken Adderall once in my life. How does that compare? I don't do it. I mean,

there are so many people that I know that do take Adderall. They call them peachies, the 30s, the little orange ones. I like meth. It's just better stronger smoother um i used to get stuff that was 97.7 pure so jesus got that walter white shit oh yeah how much expensive does that get though so like so can you support a meth habit with a regular job does it get expensive well the thing is is say if you bought a gram. Right now, it's super

cheap. I used to say on the East Coast it's not very prevalent. On the West Coast, you can probably get an ounce for like $700, $500, $600. That's a lot. A lot for that amount of money. I mean, that doesn't seem very expensive. Right, yeah. I don't know how much

a dose is. How many coffees will that last you? Well, I can make a gram last like a week and a half okay 28 grams in an ounce yeah 28 grams in an ounce but like half a year if you do it correct like if you microdose it and you do it to where you can function and everything but or if you end up being like the people on the streets of philadelphia and all that where we're all spaced out and trying to swim across the ocean i mean that'll happen did you ever mix it with other drugs or were you always just a pure meth guy um i did tons of coke back in the 90s i started doing meth around 2000 ish like just around 2000 okay so you're just an uppers guy no yeah i'm an upper guyers guy no yeah i mean they say it was

polysubstance abuse because i do alcohol uh smoke weed mescaline acid mushrooms did addiction ever cause you to make bad decisions oh fuck yeah i spent 10 years in prison oh all right i did 46 months in federal prison and uh and and just about six years on and off between county and state. Stealing? No. Oh. Fights. Oh.

No, no. I wasn't a thief. That's the typical thing that you hear. You steal for your drug habit. You're right, right. Yeah. Was there a time when you'd get messed up and then you just wanted to fight fight or it was just the characters you were hanging around were goading you into it? Um, well, it could have been either perceived or imaginary in your head at the time when you're that spun out.

Yeah. You think it's easier to watch? I would usually stay up six days like normal throughout the week. And then I would sleep one day and you don't need like a like a 20-hour sleep day like you sleep eight hours ten hours and you're fine like wow you would stay up for six days straight yeah yeah what would you do for 25 sex all day is there oh i think i would run out of stuff to do i always start getting angry at the meth. When you're around people that are living the same lifestyle, it's a little different.

It's like you're not looking to go to your 95 job. Yeah. What's the second best thing to do on meth? If you can't find a woman. What's the second best thing to do on meth? Oh man, people will be fucking jerking off for a week straight. Who needs a woman? Dick,

use your imagination. What's the, what's the longest? I think he meant the non-sexual. Am I on meth right now? I think I might be. What's the longest you ever kept a, a jack off session going on meth?

Just, Oh, I've done a couple of days straight. Yeah. What eventually, what eventually stops you? Is it the coming or just pain of like, Oh, I need to let my dick straight, yeah. What eventually stops you? Is it the coming or just pain of like, oh, I need to let my dick go down?

Does your dick skin wear off? I made your dick through a fucking cheese grater. It's like, oh my God. Does your porn of choice just get kinkier and kinkier? That's what I said. It's weird because I've seen like, in the group of people that I was around, you would see people's sexual deviance.

The deviance. Right. Not you, of course. All those other people. Oh, man. Oof. What's the worst thing you saw? Like, you know, you got some upstanding guy and then all of a sudden you look over there

and what do you see? Hold on. Well, I got to go because I got to go do the show with Gavin. He's over here. All right. Zach, get this gentleman's contact info. We want his contact info. You got it. Hey, guys. Take care.

Good night. See you later. Meth guy there. Good night to him. That guy rules. He was way better than the mushroom guy we had. Oh, yeah. I'd leave my kids with that guy. He's cool. He's not going to fall asleep. Let him wander.

He's going to be too busy jacking off to do anything for your kids. Well, hopefully he doesn't involve them in all that. Maybe he can keep it in his pants. We got right to, like, tell me about the kinks. And he's like, gotta run. A couple days. A couple days of jacking off. Kids could probably fight him off

if he's jacking off, though. You know, he's only got one arm so did you see him scratching the sores on his face no oh my god i was at one point i was like he's actively scratching his skin i thought he wasn't on meth anymore mike oh he oh he dabbles he dabbles he's doing a godfather impression. That's what I thought. But at double speed. You come to me on this today, my man? You come to me today on my day that my daughter's wedding. You're supposed to be jacked off too. Look, I got six days here.

I got a lot of jacking off to do. I wonder if there has to be a huge amount of time dilation then. He thinks he's jacking off for five hours, and then he looks up and it's been a day and a half. Or maybe it really is. He's just loving it so much that it's like, I'm going to jack. I can't.

Man, it's Monday morning. I just had my meth coffee. I got lots of meth. I can't wait to jack off for two full days. Those 80-year-olds he was talking about who do a little spoonful of meth in their coffee and they're fine. They're actually 30-year-olds. Yeah talking about who do a little spoonful of meth in their coffee and they're fine. They're actually 30-year-olds.

FYI. Doesn't look a day over 87. They live into their 80s. I love that impromptu meth addict pop in. That's great. Dude, I love that. Get his contact info, Zach.

I want to have him. You said he got it. I want to talk a contact info. You said he got it. I want to talk to him again in the future, for sure. Well, have you been doing any meth, Jack? Not lately. You just done your fancy whiskeys? Maybe I should try it. That's what you like, right?

Next time my girlfriend gets almond milk, I hate putting that in my coffee. Maybe I'll try a little meth. You can't hurt. And that guy didn't seem addicted he said he did he's a he's a christmas and easter method you know what does that guy do for gavin i guess their neighbors yeah their neighbors he said he lived a mile away okay i that's that doesn't explain yeah it's not a complete explanation i'll grant you that yeah well it only takes me three minutes to sprint here so you know they met at the rotary club i mean that's an interesting place because i know or at least i suspect gavin is a very well-off

individual yeah so maybe this guy's got meth money. Maybe he was the dealer in the biker gang. He got meth money by using meth? Well, he had so much. Sure. Yeah, he had so much. How do you think you become an excellent drug dealer? You've got to meth up. I don't think he...

I think by not being a drug addict. I think that's step one. That is step one. You're right. That's like first things first, get rid of that gnawing habit for your product you have. And then you just sell it to your friends, right? Like you get in, you let the drug make your friends, and then you quit and just sell it to them. That's awesome, man. I had a friend in college who – I had multiple friends in college that sold weed.

And one of them was more of an acquaintance who was the roommate of one of my close buddies. And this guy sold like, you know, quops, pounds, like big, big amounts of weed. And so my buddy's like, you know, I'm like, you can at least smoke us out for free and everything while we live here, because we're taking a big risk being on a college campus here while you have this amount of weed. Like, we're all going to jail. Yeah. And so we just had free weed for a while. And when I would pop by, maybe I get a little free weed. And it eventually got to the point he's like, yeah, my buddy was like doing he was a weed dealer and he, you know, kind of fell out of interest with weed and enjoyed like uppers

and that kind of stuff and like prescription pills and so sometimes i'd be hanging out and then he'd text me and be like i'm not home right now stevie's coming by to pick up a a quarter ounce can you give it to him and you know weigh it out and pay and he's like and so i said yeah i gotta i gotta help him out hey uh taylor's coming by to pick up an eighth. Oh, I know Taylor's one of my good buddies do this. And he's like, after a couple months of that, it got to the point that like, I was just dealing large amounts of drugs to further and further, you know, tangentially related people until it was like, hey, my buddy, Davon is coming over to pick up a half pound. Can you give that to him? He's like, no, I can't do this anymore, man. I can't be roped into your seedy world. There's a guy named Sergeant Murphy on his way over. He said he got, he's like, and everything was going smooth for a long while until one day he got fucked up on pills and there were a bunch of people over.

And so he, and he didn't buy a safe for some reason. And so he just had two pounds of marijuana under his bed and he was so fucked up he forgot that he hit it and so the next morning he came down screaming and accusing all of us of having robbed him and we had to sit him down and be like where would we sell the drugs from where would we do the drugs we live together what do you think we have to gain here by robbing you of two pounds and he's like in like five minutes later went upstairs found his weed and came back down and was like big misunderstanding guys i didn't mean to do that and yeah so that's how he played a little bit of a role in a drug dealing ring and then he was a

drug dealer he was actually a drug he was okay yeah that's how he was a drug dealer i'm just helping out i just like helping my friends your honor just like to help them out i did that is true he did for money he did i heard one of those morning radio shows where like if your date doesn't go well you call into like the cruise crew and they'll call up this guy who stiffed you or whatever and the lady's like yeah i don't understand mark and I had a great time. We went out dancing. We got some drinks and then nothing. And like, all right, we're going to call this Mark up

and see what his fucking problem is. And Mark's like, hello? Did you go out with Kathy last night? Yeah, yeah, I did. And you didn't call her back or anything. It's been a week. Yeah, we went out dancing and then she wanted to go get some more drinks, which seemed cool. And she said, hey, could you take me to Target real quick?

Which I thought was weird. But sure, I took her to Target. But then she wanted to meet her friend. And he was parked way at the edge of the parking lot, which was weird, too. And she said, he's he's got something for me and i reached out the window and he handed me a bag of cocaine and i looked at her and she handed me a wad of money and i in that moment became a cocaine buyer forcibly he's like i got a job and shit that's not me that's not my start, they're like, you, why would you tell us this?

If you're, if you're literally buying cocaine, she's like, it's not that big of a deal. It's just coke. What the fuck? But yeah, that's what happened to your friend.

He got forced into being a drug dealer. He did. Yeah. Got bullied into it and then did it, I guess for months. Moved a lot of weight. Moved a lot of weight. Seemingly.

If it was an Xbox game, he'd have had some achievement points at this point. He's moved a lot of... He's a capo. How about that, you guys? You guys ever been drug dealers? I was at a... I was at my friend's house. I was at my

friend's house up in Mendocino, or a friend of his, and I didn't want to sleep on the couch. They're like, don't worry, you don't have to sleep on the couch. I'm like, okay, okay. We've got a room for you. There's a problem with the room, though. It was harvest season, so, you know, weed. Everybody up there grows weed.

It was harvest season, and the room kind of smells like weed. So if you're okay with that. I said, yeah, you know, that's fine. So I get up there and they're like, alright. Everyone's partying all night. Time to go to bed. Okay, here's your room. They open the door and it's trash bags from floor to ceiling around all four

walls of the room full of weed. Closets full of weed spilling out like a grain silo like what do you mean kind of smells like well you know it does kind of smell like weed a little bit yeah okay great this will be great uh i think my i think the tips of my hair around this part still reek of weed uh for when i was there but that was fun that's okay you're in california everyone probably sting you never get to see that much yeah it was cool yeah the most uh the most i ever saw in one place um i was dating this girl and one of her friends came to

hang out with us actually two of her friends came to hang out with us and so me and my girlfriend in the front seat they're in the back seat and uh, uh, and the girl in the back knows, check out what I got. And she pulls out like a fucking full on pound of vacuum sealed weed out of her bag. And I lost my mind. Like, why are you in my car with a pound? I have never in my life seen an ounce and you have more marijuana than I've ever seen in one place. I was so upset.

I pulled that fucking car over. She had to get out of the fucking car. We had to, we had, it was like, you're going to wait here. We're going to go get your car. We're going to bring it here.

You're going to get your car with your stuff, whatever it was. I saw in that bag, those lawn clippings or whatever it was. And you can follow me places, but you can't be in my fucking car with a fucking backpack full of marijuana. That was the most I'd seen before I went to like Colorado after they legal legalized and opened up and then of course that was like some sort of mecca experience where you've only seen like tiny bits of just who knows what strain it's weed and then

all of a sudden you're at like the the nicest store with ipads for each strain scrolling and automating this video about how it was grown and what the percentages of cannabinoids of it uh are and like that was cool that the first time going to colorado and getting high was so cool most we'd have ever seen i was a teenager and i was a lifeguard and some of the lifeguards would like rent a house together and that's where they stayed for the summer anyway i go over and they're like what do you check this out and they open a closet door and there's a little fucking grow lamp hanging like where the towel the rack should be and four plants each of them three or four feet tall i guess ready to harvest ish okay so i don't know how much that is yeah i i don't either i've never seen plants in real life uh i don't think ever i

saw that at a guy's house and it was like news was like happening that like Missouri was going to legalize weed like in the next couple months. And he's like, check out my grow. And it's like six giant plants with an enormous amount of weed. And I just wanted to be like, like, what are you thinking? Like you're taking an untold amount of risk here when in six weeks you could just go to the store you could just go to the store and buy it but can you grow it now i think you can grow like a personal amount now in missouri it varies per state on how many plants um that one person can grow and it'll even change like under one roof maybe like you can't have like

12 people in your house maybe and growing 48 plants you know something like that but it's it's it's one of those things where you don't have one marijuana law it's state by state it's like here in georgia i'm pretty sure uh marijuana oil like for medic medical use has been legalized for a while but there's no way to access it there's zero access to it it. It's like, okay, it's legal. Where do I procure it? From a licensed procurement center. Those don't exist. Do you guys have ketamine doctors now? All these fucking shamans are popping out of the woodwork.

What is in the K-hole right fucking now, dude? Yeah, ketamine doctors are dope. Are you really on that stuff? Not right now. I did. They're not a sponsor or anything but the company was called mind bloom and uh they it was it was a pretty positive experience for me a friend of mine

tried it he said it didn't do anything good for him but uh um for me it was a pretty positive experience it's sort of a, I don't know, alone with your thoughts without second guessing, sort of figure things out. Mental self audit. I like that expression. Yeah. And, you know, make some plans,

things that might be obvious. Obviously good plans, like spend time with Colin type stuff, but you do it like right down. It's like spend time with Colin, but don't forget you have these other things in the way. Nothing's in the way during when you're in the K hole. Everything is just a good idea that needs to be written down and followed through on.

And it was pretty cool. It's the opposite of Adderall. Everything's a bad idea. I hate it. I hate it. And that always makes me spill food all over myself. Ketamine. I don't know if you're not,

but I didn't have a shaman to tell me how to do it, but every time I do it, I, every time I do ketamine, I'm like, okay, no spilling food on yourself. And then I wake up, and I'm like, I fucking spit it in. We have a very different experience.

I'm like, I don't eat for, I think it's three or four hours beforehand. One hour beforehand, I'm taking an anti-nausea drug. It comes with the pack. They give you this super super high end yeah yeah they like a super high end blindfold i have a heated blanket and a scented candle in the dark room and i just go into my little fdr roll so he goes deep he's he's doing he's he's doing some auditing he's going in there he's going as deep as you can go and he can up his dose you know he can talk to him about i think i need a little

more i want to go yeah that's what happened for numbers i started out at like it was 400 or 450 i think and uh i was like it worked but i kind of felt like this is how i described it i was like every you're drinking as a teenager and then like an authority figure comes in the room and you suppress your drunkness. I was like, I don't want to be suppressing my drunkness. I don't want to be asking if I'm like leaning into this or really feeling it.

And she's like, we got you. And they change it from four 50 to 800 and then a thousand. So like, you know, the doubled it. And then some yeah and uh white girl setting yeah so like it there's no fucking around and also like i didn't know how to take it

or what they give you all the advice it's a blood pressure cuff that comes with it so you know you know you're in a good spot for it see i'm glad they did that because that's how i feel about all drugs because i remember the first time i did mushrooms and we didn't have enough we had like an eighth and then i think what we tried to do was do two doses twice with an eighth which just isn't enough like you know whatever that fucking is but yeah colors were a little i remember we went to the park on the mushrooms and it was like i guess you know when you tinker with your tv and you can't remember if you turn the saturation up or not but those greens are popping that's what it was like it's like all right green's green really green that's cool but that's not what i was going for i want to see some shit when we right when i finally took acid and i took all that acid

i was like okay i am undeniably high as fuck on acid right now it like incapacitated couldn't drive a car without seeing weird shit. The moon is breathing on acid. And it was like, this is fun. That's what I want. Mushrooms can drive on acid. No, I'm just hypothetically speaking. Oh, man. Give it a shot.

I drove us home from a park because the acid, I was with my girlfriend at the local dog park, and the acid kicked in right when these kids started tearing apart this goalpost i'm like we got to get out i think they're gonna tear us apart next it's like all right and i'm like i'll drive i'm good to drive i'm good to drive you know i've been a long time drunk driver i have a pass from biden that says i can drink drive whenever i want oh shit you too let's go yeah yeah yeah it's cool i'll copy and send it to you somebody copied and sent it to me it's still valid so we get in the car and i'm like you know and the car it starts like oh man this is bad how long have i been driving and she's like you haven't pulled out yet I'm like oh this is bad already so we're driving and it's

like it just feels like you know how you know that acid that ever that whomp you get every once in a while where everything like war that matrix like when you go yes and it just won't unflex like oh god I'm driving like that and it just doesn't seem to be going through it and after a while you know i'm sweating and i'm like i fucking i've taken this right turn five or six times at least there's two rights i know the way back to the house i could do it drunk i know but i've made this turn six or seven times i'm like honey i i i think we're stuck in a time warp or something she's like i'm so glad you said something i think we seriously are uh it was like the it was the worst there's probably the worst five minutes i've ever had on any drug dude you need to get into a bedroom with a heated blanket heated

scented candle yeah i don't know here's my acid question i always have these dark i need to jack off like i'm on fucking meth like that dude i'll wear my dick off on acid elf i've never done a drug that doesn't have like some level of nausea disorder battle even like edibles have that you know not only did acid have none and i i like took one and then like an like maybe 45 minutes took two and then like maybe 45 minutes took three and then at three i was like just give me all of them and got to four or five but at no point did i feel nauseous in fact i was hungry i remember that's when i tell that story about eating that delicious donut we had a maple bacon donut delivered from this from this and it had like really good bacon on top and it was crispy and i just remembered that

was so fucking delicious and and no no nause. And that's always my fear too. Because I'll get nauseous on any number of things. And that just ruins the whole experience. I always get, if I drink too much, I get so nauseous. The whole night's fucking ruined. I'm just. I've been there for that. Yeah, sure.

Plenty of people have. I had a problem. You know what acid has that's great is another benefit is the, at least for me, the farting. There's like a stage, I don't know, like two hours in. Oh, man. I sound like the Blazing Saddles camp. An hour and a half. Like, man, this is awesome.

Thank God we got the sex out of the way because this would really fuck up. Acid to me is the best drug as long as you don't have to operate any vehicles or machine or anything like that or be expected to like fight for your life or do anything where you need to be you because you are going you're not capable i know we're on the air but like how did you find it how did you find somebody like friends got it for me okay it always goes yeah right now, I'm curious about it. I'm very curious, but I don't want to grab my skateboard and just hello fellow kids it down at the school.

Please do. Yeah. Yeah. You don't get out of bums in LA. You soak their hair and then just wring it out. It doesn't come from their nipples? Go up to them and go up to the kids and do like the Wazzap from the 2001 Budweiser

commercial. They'll hit it back. Dude, this guy in his jean coat jeans seems pretty legit. Oh man. Isn't that sus at all? Button fly jeans? Wow, you're 1988 awesome.

LA gear and a skateboard, you'll fit right in um yeah it was just a friend brought it i'm sure they got it from somebody somebody that it's really cheap and it's really small and it's just little pieces of paper little they it like a mat you know it's a big square that tears into tons and tons of tiny squares and they i think they dip that whole thing in acid and then let it dry and so each one of them is now dosed. I wonder if it's complicated to make. I don't know. You going to make it?

You got a chemistry set over there with your ketamine, Woody? Yeah, you know, I've been keeping a coral reef tank. We got a microscope. We got some ingredients here and there. I'm mixing up sodium hydroxide and calcium carbonate on the daily. Why can't I be dancing? If you have a goldfish alive, you can make LSD. Let's go.

Quick stop by the pool store. Get all your equipment, and you're good to go. Make some semen-blowing acid while you're at it. What are you guys doing, that stuff that you're always selling? To weaponize your semen. Ooh, we can weaponize our semen. Yes. We already kind of have. I don't like weapon your semen. We can weaponize our semen. Yes, we already kind of have.

You know, with... I don't like weaponized semen. Weaponized semen sounds like you have AIDS. Acidic semen. That's what Dirty had with all that Pepsi in his diet. Yeah, but I want truly acidic. If you shot it in a cop's eyes, he'd be like,

he wouldn't be able to fend you off. If you stand there for five more minutes you're in trouble and not a criminalized how much acid did you take before your harrowing drive i'll like a half probably like none one maybe i don't go crazy i think one's too much honest that's what freaks people out i always don't want to do like a water bottle like it's important to me. That was the first time I'd done it, and I really wanted to see a thing that wasn't there for the first time in my whole life.

Since you're a kid, that's what cartoons make beer seem like. Oh, he drank beer. He sees pink elephants flying. You go get drunk waiting for the fucking light show, and nothing happens, but you have a headache and throwing up on the seat. Every drug after that was the same thing. Marijuana. They said that about mushrooms. light show and nothing happens but a headache and throwing up on the seat and then every drug after that was the same thing marijuana and then and then they said that about mushrooms mushrooms

don't make you see things they it's like changing the set the contrast and the saturation on your television that's what happens to me anyway and i get nauseous as fuck but acid i was seeing shit move around there was shit that wasn't there there were colors that weren't there that were just happening like like i was looking at a picture of a clown that was creepy, painting of a clown that happened to be in the rec room at the house and its face was wiggling. Mushrooms will do that for you too

if you take enough. What an awful painting they have around on hallucinogens. It was upsetting a little bit. You stared at the clown painting? I stared at whatever I could to get different experiences because every interesting object becomes a kaleidoscope

that you can walk up to and sort of experience. The moon was my favorite thing. It was a night where there were fast-moving clouds moving between me and the moon. Obviously, it was a full moon. I don't know. It was like a horror movie, the way the clouds are just moving past it

and it's sort of translucent coming in and out of focus. That was amazing to stare. Then we had a fire going outside so watching fire and fire is neat so that was fucking cool but just your phone just your phone is something important the whole set and setting thing if you guys listening have never done any kind of psychedelics um set and setting is your mindset and the place. And Kyle describes a really great experience where he was with good friends in a good place where there was not very much that was scary and got to experiment with the effects of it.

Had he been at like a nightclub surrounded by strangers, he might not have had a good time. Yeah, maybe not. That could have been weird. I could be a unique person too with acid because you also said you ate a bunch of food on acid tons of it and i've always heard from i've never done acid but everyone i've done it is like oh yeah i don't eat on it like it's gross the whole group did the acid

and um like four or five of us at least and we all ate the donuts you know like fish ate donuts he was on acid uh allegedly you know as far as i know and uh but but there were i don't know it did it didn't affect my appetite but bar none that is my favorite drug to do if i could only do one drug i would do that drug uh i do i have read and heard that you need to do that drug like maybe once a month because you're releasing a lot of brain chemicals or something that need to rejuvenate before you dump that supply again. So that makes sense. No maximum.

Oh, that's a month. The one. Yeah. I asked somebody on Reddit recently, they'd like Molly. And I was like, I've heard that Molly is borrowing the joy from the next two or three

days and having it all condensed into tonight. Does that sound right? And this is just a Reddit stranger, but they're like yes one thousand percent true that is how it is so it hits some people pretty hard where they're in bed all day i i could do this is the next day like i could drink i wake up like yeah let's go all right i'm i'm in an even better mood today because i'm not function i'm not functioning at uh. But that's on the molly, right? Or are you talking about the day after? The day after.

People are always talking about those hangovers, but I don't know. I think my joy is already so low that it can't go any lower. Yeah, it's secret. He's always joyless. Yeah, I'm like a low rider. I'm like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. I feel like shit today anyway. joyless yeah i'm like a low rider i'm like that that that that yeah i had the same experience but i felt great the next day after after all that acid i i wanted more um but but like like not an addictive kind of way but just like that was great not in an addictive kind of way but i wanted more dick if i have have a little more. I just needed more and I was willing to do anything to get it.

Anything it took. But then we did a show where I took 1,000 milligrams of marijuana edibles. And I don't really remember that show, but I do remember having to go to the airport the next morning and still being so so cripplingly high that that just sitting in the back seat of the uber i forgot where i was for a while on the way to the airport and got terrified because there was an african man driving me in the dark and i didn't know where i was you thought you'd been kidnapped perhaps that's what happened that night at uh applebee's or whatever i thought we'd been kidnapped for a brief moment like like i got so high in the back of that uh senegalese uber pirates well we were all just in a van together driving to applebee's and you know i'd never been to chicago before maybe maybe once or twice i

didn't know where the fuck i was though and i just i got so high and what had happened we got a little bit lost and we pulled into a residential neighborhood and then into a house's driveway boy had to pee yeah no no we're just doing a j turn we're just getting we're turning around and going back the other way but to me i come out of my stupor and i'm being taken to a house in the dark in chicago in a van full of people i barely know i was real scared yeah i was real scared the pre the the pre that was a classic kyle tale it was like the first time we'd actually hung out for an extended period of time it's like 2010 and like i was like oh kyle's a big pothead i smoke pot like i smoked and kyle and i were walking in together and he was he leaned over to me and he's

like this is the highest i've ever been as he's walking and he was taking like you know the ministry of silly walks he was he was walking like he was going upstairs with his knees really high knees we were on flat a flat plane so he looked like a fucking lunatic walking in and i was i remember thinking like all right i don't look as high as this guy like yeah no i was i was high stepping because to my eyes i remember this very vividly the asphalt was so close it was like you put someone else's glasses on and they make everything seem closer than it is i had that effect i was so fucking hot that was too much that was the night yeah it must have been after applebee's that like we got lost again and white boy said he had to pee so bad he just like got out and peed in the neighborhood i don't

remember that i have no no memory of those events genuinely Genuinely. I do. It was like, you can't hold it, man. I don't think we're that far from where we're supposed to be. Shout out to him. I hope he's doing well. I don't know anything about what Whiteboy's up to. Still setting records. Still setting nukes. I don't think so.

I don't know why that's so funny. No, I think probably anything but that. I think 13 years has passed since I was a kid. Yeah. That was such a weird time. Dick on YouTube at the time, it was like we were all making these Call of Duty videos. And if you get 25 kills in a row, you get a nuke.

You can call in and kind of end the game. Oh, yeah, I remember that. And so it became this thing to get one really fast on youtube it didn't even it was like who get the fastest one and like somebody got like one in like four or five minutes and it was like oh my god and then this piece of shit uh faked a video where he had only his all his friends on the other team and they stood in the right spot at the beginning of the game and he blows them all up but he pretended like it was real like it was just because it was domination people do capture flags but he had the world's fastest nuke and it

got a million views when a million views was like bonkers and when the youtube sherlock holmes's all came around and realized what he had done he was shamed so hard that i didn't think i think he basically quit after that right i know he kept faking videos shaggy aka g unit remember him yeah his after that his shtick kind of became fake videos that like you know are fake like the whole team's just rushing him and he's mowing them down in a field getting his getting nukes and stuff that guy was a piece of shit. Oh, man. I want to see. He's still uploading. No! I googled him. I was curious. He's playing Call of Duty 2, 3.

I mean, well, Modern Warfare 2 I meant to say, and 3. Like yesterday. Dude, there is a on his YouTube channel, GUnit123. He has a video from his most recent one. GTA6 trailer reaction and breakdown five months ago. Top comment

five months ago. You faked a nuke, bro. Dude, look at that. These are comments. This happened in 2010? 2011? Shaggy faked a nuke. Yeah, this doesn't excuse that 6-in-1 Semtex, buddy.

Wow, that's a deep cut. That's a deep cut. That's not surprising. I remember it was a big deal at the time. I cared for some reason very much. You cared? Yeah. I remember Hutch

worked at Machinima at the time and he had almost a somber video coming out where he's like yeah i don't want to make accusations here as a person of power in this community but this is very clearly fake it was just it was just really gay back then it was a big deal i'm telling you there were this video is from 13 years ago i'm telling you everybody was looking at it we were all all the content creators were talking about it in private. Like, like what, what is this? What is, they were like tracking down the people who were in the video dying. Like we got to get witnesses.

We got to corroborate all this. Is there any video from the, and then somebody got video from one of the cheaters who was helping. And then you had their point of view where they're all like, get on it, get on it, get on it. They're like talking together, organizing the cheat. It's like, aha. And they kind of ruined him this is so funny to the seven or eight year this is on his original video it has like what a couple million views or this is on

the machinima upload to the seven to eight year olds watching this now who are now 17 18 to us this was like the moon landing bad. It's like JFK. And when we found out it was fake, it was like that announcement on Judgment Day. Fantastic. Yeah, that was looking back. It's so funny. The care commentators were taking to be like, I don't want to, you know, cast any aspersions here against Shaggy.

We would rip the fuck out of him. We play as more recent videos where he gave fake tips like I don't know, he'd get shot or something so he'd change weapons and change back and be like, look, it healed me. And we're all like, the fuck? That doesn't do that. It made it seem like you could run at people while switching your weapon

and you would like matrix around the bullets. That's what it was. He's like, see I'm dodging bullets and I stab him. I'm dodging bullets and I stab him. And he's a British guy. And they're just friends, not aiming at him. He's a black British guy, who's 16, I think, by the way. It was a 16-year-old we were all piling on. Now he's probably 30.

In my defense, I was only in my mid-30s. Yeah, I was only in my mid-20s. We let him have it, though. We just kind of drummed him out of the community, really shit on him pretty hard. And deservedly so, because we were all trying to... I remember being like, maybe let's just quit this whole Call of Duty thing.

I'll never measure up to something like that. I'll never be a shaggy AKG unit. It was such a feat to do. You know that game in gym where you stick post-it notes on the wall, you jump, and then you go higher and higher? It'd be like if someone came along and just drilled one 25 feet up there it's like i oh i don't want to play dude this is like too high like michael vick came back faster than than this guy yeah like like producers in hollywood have raped been caught been rehabilitated raped caught and

rehabilitated a second time in the window that this guy has been fucked for. Faking a nuke, which was, you know, it was 2010. We had that $2 CPM, you know, we... 250 on that upload, it was on Machinima's channel. True.

For me, these fakes, though, like the takedown, it's like true crime for men. Like, I'll watch i'll watch four hours of a guy analyzing if a mario original mario speed run is like a glitch in this three frames i'm like oh yeah she'll turn on the true crime shit i'm like oh yeah here we go speed run investigations this is what i do you love those two i'm addicted i get into the ones it'll be a game i've never even heard it like buzzer b 1987 took took arcades in taiwan by storm it's like okay and it and it's like a bumblebee who spins around and shoots stingers and shit you've never fucking heard of

but this guy can do it in fucking 30 minutes and like after a while i start getting invested with these random gamers, like they're like basketball players or something like no one beats Michelob 27. And then Michelob's record will get taken down by this new exploit where you don't even climb the ladder. You just like double bounce up it or something like that. And he'll fall out of favor with the meta. And then all of a sudden, 15 minutes in the story later, he'll be like, he'll fall out of favor with the meta and then all of a sudden 15 minutes in the story later he'll be like but michelob 57 had something to say about that and then the music kicks in it's like and but it's still the bumblebee spinning and shooting stingers but now the music is like

and you're like holy shit michelob can do it and i watch an hour of this shit for games you don't care about matters like i don't care about you don't know any of the game i don't care about anything else i'm totally nihilistic i need to know i need to run i do remember i watched it i think it was like a netflix documentary like king of the arcade or some shit and it was this king of connelly is full of quarters yes yeah king of billy mitchell billy mitchell. This guy, I've never seen someone take themselves more seriously. You can catch

Churchill and Hitler laughing at themselves in some old clips. Not this guy. Not Billy. He's doing the John Cena bit 24 hours a day, but it's his own original take where he's like Mr. America.

Can we get a picture of Billyy mitchell the king of kong i don't know if you're aware of him on this show no he's been getting he's in a lot of trouble can we get him they caught him they caught him if you if you search him on youtube you'll see there's a lot of like i think they caught him cheating multiple times in multiple games and all of his records are now taken away because he wasn't really good at games i guess he's good he just untrustworthy like you know yeah i guess it's just that he's good he's just not the best that was an amazing documentary i'm gonna watch i'm gonna watch that fucking tonight king of conga it's on legend he always wears red white and blue though that tie i like the red white and blue yeah blue, though. That tie. I like the red, white, and blue. I do, too.

He's got a wing sauce, too, I think. He does. He has a restaurant. It's a lateral move. Is that the guy who was the good guy in the movie playing? I forget his name. It does look like his profile. That guy has that haircut.

But doubt it, right? That'd be a shitty photo to take. He's's trying to break your record and you're over there like flexing on him literally like you better not yeah i don't know it's billy mitchell man for those that don't know the uh the fucking story of that movie it's it's brilliant um basically this guy i think he was unemployed like he lost his job he's got a family and kids but he like lost his job or something maybe got injured but he bought himself a donkey kong machine and just played it non-stop till he became the best in the world at it and they but this billy guy had an end with the committee of fucking video game nerds yeah so he invalidates this guy's vhs tape he's like ah nah you can't count that that's

probably not even on a uh billy zane certified machine he's using. That might be a Japanese machine. Those run at 30p instead of 24 frames. And they cheated him out of his fucking record. And so the guy comes and breaks the record live in their faces. And it's just a cool fucking... It's like, okay.

So nothing I can do can be registered on your site. How about I show up and fucking break it while you watch? And like he gets there and he's breaking the fucking record while everybody watches in the arcade. And this cuck boy who's like Billy, what's the guy's name? Billy. Billy Mitchell.

Billy Mitchell. Billy Mitchell's like. His little manservant like Igor. Yeah, his manservant, his smithers. His smithers is going around the arcade going, hey, hey, hey. They're going for a Donkey Kong blank screen over here. You want to come? And what he's trying to do is build pressure on the guy he's trying to –

he wants a crowd cheering and throwing him. He's literally trying to cockblock this other grown-ass man. That's a good Smithers. He's doing his job. And so you're watching this happen. You take umbrage with someone faking a high score on an arcade game only if it's i didn't try to let you gotta let kyle get to the peak of the story because he in spite of all the pressure placed on this guy he does it he fucking hits the

grand slam and defeats his record live at a tournament event you know there's no question yeah so then billy mitchell has fucking smithers show up with an envelope and like a manila envelope with a tape recording in it of billy mitchell score that's even better but now it's a very suspect vhs tape and they believe billy mitchell over the guy who did it in person and he doesn't have the record yeah they had to take there the whole time watching him break the record. And they fucking tear the envelope. And it's like, this is some evil shit

y'all are pulling. That's so funny because there's no stakes. And the tape was suspect too. It was clearly fake. A million dollars. Wait, there was a million dollars in the line? No, it's not true. It's a dragon. You get your dollars on the line no money

all in quarters Twin Galaxies website yeah that's it but yeah that Billy guy is like a full on cheater they caught him over and over and it's a shame but that's a good movie it's a good documentary it's on Netflix I'm pretty sure

I saw him at the steakhouse in Hollywood one day just by chance, and I really considered just walking up. Yeah, Billy Mitchell, the Donkey Kong cheater. I considered walking up and just horse collaring him, like yanking him off the bar. I fucking hate him so much. I was like, man, I'll get arrested for that.

Is he really tall? No, I think he's probably shorter than me um but i was we were there to see uh tootsie and i'm like man i don't know i'll fuck up i'll fuck this night up for sure i'm gonna get arrested because i'm not leaving i'll come back and eat my steak but i think that might be worth it i might have to do that and i sat there it's like stewing about it and thinking about it getting drunk or hoping that i would get have to do that and i sat there it's like stewing about it and thinking about it getting drunk or hoping that i would get drunk and do it and then stop you know considering it but he was gone before why don't you just go spill your beer on him and go oh i'm so sorry sir

sorry let me get that for you oh you're a fucking cheater oh i'm so i wanted him to know that he got down and that's for steve weeby you this is such a funny thing to follow i've never thought about watching documentaries on youtube about oh it's really good i've never had that feeling it sounds entertaining it transcends the the niche hobby that it's about fully it becomes about the storytelling is next level and I watched one about it was an Atari 2600 skiing game and they just have a controller and you go left right and you have to go around

the are they called slalom gates I think gates and dude they had to get it frame by frame perfect people are finding faster lines and I combine your technique with that guy's technique and suddenly i'm even quicker it might sound boring but the way that they do it like kyle you know first you got fucking heinz 57 and then comes michael of 21 and they just go

back and forth to the heights and it's great to watch the back and forth i hate heinz 57 do you yeah a1 forever man uh dump that anything when i was a kid i liked anything that was like sour and like funky so i would douse my steak with that a1 yeah anything vinegary for sure yeah a1's good like as far as steak sauce is good i can't remember the last time i used a steak sauce it's in heinz 57 ketchup am i crazy it's like spice steaks it it but but in consistency it's very similar it's an orange color so it's got to be tomato and pepper based. But it's like a vinegary twang to it. I don't like it.

My sister liked that growing up. I hated it. I hated it. Because of her. Did we do ads? No, it's just terrible. We did not. We hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors right now.

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If that is not your goal and you're looking for a more mellow high, the, uh, the Delta eight is going to be more your jam. And as far as the edibles go, we've said it before. Kyle's tolerance is bananas for weed. And even he gets fucked up when he takes too big of a bite of one of those nerd rope things.

So play it safe. If you're not a Titan of tolerance. An Olympic level pot smoker. Yeah. And even then, Kyle's like Olympic level. And this is like beyond him even. So take it easy. Get one of the lower dose edibles in Delta 8 if you're just looking to mellow out a little bit.

But hey, if you're a Titan who's just trying a little bit, but Hey, if you're a Titan, who's just trying to get fucked, a THC, a is the strongest thing to smoke. And the nerd rope edibles that are, I think 1500 milligrams and the entire nerd rope take little nibbles of that guys, little nibbles.

I'm not memeing. I'm not joking. Little nibbles. That shit's strong as fuck i'm scared of them i have one from months ago that he sent me that like i'm i'm too afraid to to even dig into this one i think you sound like a guy who carries an umbrella i'm a little bitch who carries an umbrella oh fuck i'm gonna have to eat that tonight because because i will not be an umbrella guy no No chance. How often are you carrying an umbrella around? I haven't carried an umbrella in 10 years, but I reserve my right to.

You got a sodomy clock for that? Like Milo Yiannopoulos? What? Sodomy clock? Milo, he's like, you know, he's a gay sex addict. How long has it been since you've taken one? Yeah, up to the ass, yeah. He tweets about it.

I thought he wasn't gay anymore. He's not gay anymore. he's uh you know i don't think he's gay no that's you that you go to hell if you're gay he's not going to hell so he's not gay you also go to hell for lying about being gay he's not fucking guys in the ass anymore that's all i know because you got the clock work uh like the way a tornado trailer park clock works like no dick in the ass since this date and then you count like how long has it been oh i think three years oh he had a relapse one day i was like that was a great day i mean but i was like oh he's being honest about this shit oh my god and now i'm glued onto the milo sodomy clock if i ever see like oh i'll give it let me take a look

at that wait milo had a clock that kept track of his sobriety from being fucked in the ass and then he came clean about getting fucked in the ass yeah he had to reset it one day all right you know i love this awesome man i've got. I've got to respect it. Now I want a fucking sodomy clock. I'm going to start doing it so I can have one. That'd be so funny if you're like, I've been doing it for 41 years and then one day you just get online

and reset. Isaiah, thank you for joining us. That was an insane sentence to come in on. Good to see you. How's your shot at me, Clark? I don't want to get personal. I don't know you.

I haven't checked it out in a while, but it was good last oil change. You should know right away. Do I use an umbrella? I've been trying to quit. Gavin McInnes said that we were gay if we used umbrellas. Don't own one. I don't even own an umbrella.

I kind of respect that. I kind of get that a little bit. Gavin's got all that goo in his hair, right? Doesn't he have slick back hair? He does. I'm a goo man. Maybe it's just wet because he doesn't use an umbrella. Maybe that's what it is

that's clever there's an actual account called sodomy clock that's cool get them as a sponsor that would be so funny are you addicted

to having your asshole plundered well we can help well it depends on the definition of sodomy Are you addicted to having your asshole plundered? Well, we can help. Well, it depends on the definition of sodomy. It's also oral, technically speaking. No, get real. I'm just letting you know what the laws say. Right.

Yeah, but that's... Next time you're anti-sodomy, you just know you're down to vagina. We know what it really means. Wendigood, how would the lord feel about uh oral penetration would he think sodomy uh with a clock he probably wouldn't approve of it if i had to guess what i mean you're losing on all fronts here taylor i've i've you know i'm so sad about that that i'm sure he's at least a little sad the laws of man and god alike are against you here well when you're wrong you're wrong i guess it's funny because right before this i was recording the weird bible show so it goes from like parables and jesus immediately like sodomy

how do you confer how do you i mean old testament, notoriously unchill with it. It buried it. Very unchill with it, yeah. Jesus just had so much more stuff on the list he was trying to get to. There was a lot. He was fighting Pharisees, and he had the whole dying thing to go do, so that took up a lot of his time. Yeah.

He had a lot of people coming after him because he ruined their bank, the temple they were using for money changing. Not good. Not good. You got to be you got to everyone knows church is for a guy in jeans who knows three chords on an acoustic. If we're going to steal people's money, we're going to do it our way. OK, we're going to do it with with speakers and have like these big projectors and stuff like that. Yeah. Does anyone else think Jesus' suffering was

kind of blown out of proportion? No, it seemed horrible. Have you seen what Mel Gibson did in that documentary? He shamed those Jews real good. Was it a weekend that he came back? Are you talking about the dead

part or the torture part the dead part was enlighten me it was three days the dead part was three days but he was tortured leading up to the death for how long what did he go to hell during the dead part that most people believe that yeah because there's a verse in uh that paul talks about about uh rot from hell uh so most people think he was in hell for three days but that he destroyed perdition whatnot while he was there the catholics have a lot of lore around it but it's just mentioned for a verse and uh uh like protestant beliefs and stuff but he was taken in he was arrested and then he was tortured uh the worst part of the torture consisted of what's

called the catanine tails it is a whip that has nine different strings that has like these barbs off of it. And when you drive it into someone, the barbs hook. And when you rip it out, it pulls out all the flesh. So he was going to kink shame him. But like cancer is way worse than that. Cancer is so much less bad than that. Please, cancer lasts like a year. It's a slow, grinding death.

Jesus had a bad weekend. You can have nachos on cancer. It's true. Fact check. True. You think the Lord... Jesus could have had nachos. You don't know.

They asked for water, and they hit him up with a vinegary sponge. Where did they get the vinegar in the sponge? They brought it from home. That's what we're dealing with here. That's the level of food. Vinegar is like my favorite kind of potato chip. You know what I mean? It would sound dope.

They were mean-spirited. Hey, are you thirsty? Man, we're torturing to death. Get a load of this. I've been thirsty and then I have more vinegar potato chips or pistachios anyway. I understand Jesus is suffering. Cancer's worse. You know what?

Because Jesus is omniscient. He was looking at the sponge and he's like, I fucking know. What? I know this is vinegar. You sons of bitches oh here they go to get the water

pranked him the ultimate Christian like last second salvation has to be the thief on the cross next to Jesus who didn't make fun of him just sliding into home. That's like being the backup quarterback on a Super Bowl winning team.

You didn't have to do anything. He's just hanging there dying, and then Jesus is dying, and the one other criminal is crucified. It's like, this guy, you're not even the son of God. This guy stinks. This guy stinks. Y'all don't like him and then the other criminal's like he's done nothing wrong can't you see that jesus is like in like you're in you're in

good with me and when you get up there to tell my century come come over to my side yeah yeah uh someone i'm friends with someone here you may have heard him uh god there's just the name god ringing high above everyone else in the crowd up ahead and he's like oh yeah that guy waves you right through 30 different indiana jones like soul tests there's guys over there going through ninja warrior in heaven and you're just speeding right through oh my god imagine not his wife though leave her out imagine the hell if you if you get up to the pearly gates and uh and saint saint peter is there giving the test he's like all right the book everything's looking good uh now it's

just honestly just the cardio test and you're in be like what what? Yeah. Was that in the book? Like, sub-six-minute mile. We want fit people here. Cardio. Jesus is huge on cardio. You've seen how vascular he was on the cross. He's got that lean fucking runner's look. He was a swimmer, I think.

That didn't start that day. A swimmer, a runner, for sure. A lot of cardio. A lot of cardio. He wasn't just swinging a hammer. No, sir. That's not a cardio. I don't know why he was't just swinging a hammer no sir that's not a car i don't know why he was a swimmer because he could walk on water he walked everywhere now you gotta

keep that in mind like he was traveling everywhere on foot yeah every man what do you would have been in heaven with what i'm sure the amount of fat hate that was going on in ancient times like being fat in a time like that is like, what the fuck is wrong with you? No, remember, that's the times when it would be the mark of a rich man or maybe even royalty. How'd you do that? That's a fat myth. They've been telling us that since we were kids.

Men have hated fat women forever. That's a big fat lie. We were rollers once. Oh, yeah. Actually, you used to be very attractive. It's a fertility goddess. No, it's a warning.

No. You nailed it, David. That's why I disagreed on this one. Zach, show me an ancient fertility idol. It's like a ball without a head, by the way. It's just titties and an ass. And they're like, yep, a perfect woman.

No head, just gigantic tits and a gigantic ass. I'm living down in New Orleans right now, and I've gone to a bunch of the voodoo places, and those little statues are everywhere. And they're like, yeah, it's part of voodoo belief that if you hang this in your house, you'll have a lot of kids. Bizarre. How did she get that way? I put a ring on her

finger. Tale as old as time. Yeah, we need to redo the fertility goddess statue. There you go. That's more like it. That's what I'm looking for. There's not even a face on it. Yeah, they didn't need one. Where's this from? They were bad at art. What are you looking at the face for, homo?

Don't you see those giant belly? That fertile belly? How many guys are supposed to be fucking these guys at the same time? Maybe this is what we looked like back then. It's that ancient. This is some sort of worm goddess that was ruling over us. It's that ancient. It's not even close.

It's not even close. That's just like a weird stick they found that's not that doesn't the one on the left right i see a belly button sure that one but the bb's i know her what on earth living the dream ah is that priapus you have a sister my ancestors out every time it gets hard last pick? Yeah, probably. You know what, though? It's probably like furries because they make just more art than anybody else. So back in the day, it was probably the weird, sick perverts,

the grimace-shaped women making all the art. That could be true because everyone else is like, okay, I'm going to go work while you do that. But the furries make talented art. These are clearly like kindergarten class projects. Yeah, some dude was like absolutely gooning to those. And now we're like, oh, it was an object of worship. And it's like, no, just all the other Neanderthals were like,

me no like ugly, weird pervo. Do you see what he be making in his cave? Despicable. I guess depending on how you look at it, it is a sort of worship, really. They found the Neanderthal skull, and they took its molars, and they're able to test it for chemicals

so you can see what he'd been eating. He tested positive for three or four hard drugs. It was like marijuana and cocaine or something like that. Man, that guy's cool. The question is, how did cocaine get to Europe when it's from South America? Can we smoke those teeth? We probably could.

You could definitely smoke those teeth. You know there's that place in Africa or wherever the fuck where they're digging up the bodies to get the bones and then they add the bones to the drug they use. It's a main ingredient in the drug that everyone there smokes. It has to be Africa or India based on that they use. It's a main ingredient in the drug that everyone there smokes. It has to be Africa or India based on that. It's a real problem with the

grave robbery. When you get to the point where you're using bones to get high, maybe you should quit. You're violating a religion you should probably be a part of at that point. That's too far yeah typically judging

i was gonna say that too right this guy's got a lot of american coming in here thinking over there hey i'm just smoking some bones bro you know it's funny it's like some some professor was doing coke and then his research assistant had to be like, this is remarkable. There's high grade cocaine dust on this artifact from Mesopotamia. That's my theory too. Professor Jittery. What is it? Oh, you're not going to believe what we found. It's unbelievable.

It's unbelievable. Absolutely shocking. These guys were gacked out of their mind. I have a business idea too. I have a business idea. It's called we sell fake artifacts with cocaine. It's full of Colombian cocaine. That's so weird.

Oh man, this professor's a real bad guy. Yeah, he's the same guy who found a painting from the 12th century that had child pornography on a disc inside it. Yeah, this guy's a no good, Nick. I don't like him. He has a CD--rom of child porn thumb drive with some really seedy material oh i saw that uh that biden challenged trump to a debate and trump accepted so i'm wondering they're gonna be so stemmed up i can't wait to see like how they show up if they've got those

crazy eyes like i want to see like how much amphetamines these two get injected with like just like our just like the fewer past to get on the debate stage and do battle because it's a big deal debate right like Trump's leading almost every poll and and specifically in swing states he's he's like so far ahead in nevada that the talk is like something's wrong with the polls because he's like seven and sometimes 10 points ahead in places like nevada and georgia which georgia he's 10 points ahead lots of places that were supposed to be purple or like deep red out of nowhere and then the rust belt's up for grabs in places too not in wisconsin i think biden's ahead there but like michigan, Biden's ahead by like six up to seven. That's what I meant to say. Pardon me. Yeah, Trump is ahead in all of these important areas. Not all of them, but many of them.

I have Trump ahead very slightly in both Michigan and Pennsylvania on the thing I watch. But there's swing states that are supposed to be Biden's. Yeah, we'll see what happens to Virginia as well. Virginia is one that's definitely up for grabs for anybody. But this debate is going to matter because if somebody really stumbles, that could make the difference in the whole thing. I'd be surprised if they've agreed to two, but it seems like one of those things where like,

if you knock out, if you had a home run in the first one, you're like, I'm not going back up there. Like, I'm leaving on a high note. You know what I mean? They agreed to two already.

You said, yeah, June and September. The first one talking about who likes israel more and then they can talk about america in the second debate probably well i don't know israel might take two debates where they both argue he thinks out probably right who loves america later and who hates palestine is the second debate ah that's gonna's going to be exciting. Listen to creepy Joe Biden. He doesn't love the Jews as much as me. Look at me.

I love the Jews. Love them. Ask anyone. You gave your daughter to one, right, sir? Gave her to the Jews. Give, please. You know what I love? Money.

You know what they love? I don't have to finish. What do you always say about Jerry? You gave the Jews the good daughter, too. Just saying. Yeah. What does he always say about Jared Kush He gave the Jews the good daughter too. Just saying. What does he always say about Jared Kushner? I gave the Gentiles my ugly son. My ugliest son I gave.

I'm genuinely looking forward to it. I think it's going to be prime time viewing for me. His call out was funny. He's like, I heard you're free on Wednesdays. He's like I heard you're free on Wednesdays Yeah He's like I'll be taking my plane It's like Trump will be actually Taking his plane you're taking the one you're borrowing

From the federal government So I didn't feel like that was a great burn Like Trump's plane is Trump's plane Trump replied saying he'd supply his own Transportation which didn't seem like a Out of the park home run either Like I don't know. I want to see them compare medicine cabinets.

Who's in a more dire situation? It's like, alright, well, Biden is taking stuff to not shit his pants. Trump has not shit in weeks, apparently. They should just do an MTV Cribs of the White House and the Trump Tower and see which one's doper. These are Joe's Legos.

When he has the energy, he plays. And this is Trump. And he only watches WWE 90s tapes of himself. With a little Home Alone 2. I've been paying close attention to both of them for a while now. And I still think it's going to depend on which version of each of them turns up. Because Biden at the State of the Union was great. That was a very, very good energetic.

The best version of him. He spoke loud. You know that raspy thing. I saw him do an ABC interview or some shit recently about Israel-Palestine. And he's so raspy that he sounds ill. He sounds like he's got laryngitis or something. It's like, whoa, if you show up like this, Trump's going to murder you.

He's going to just talk over you. You've got to be able to come up to his level and interject with Trump. Did you hear the mic hang out? No. The non-speaker's mic will be cut off. Oh, boo. Really?

You hate that? Okay, okay. I was on the other side when and where I think it's Biden you have 90 seconds to reply to this question oh you know now Trump you get 30 seconds to rebut and they can't

interrupt each other and I think their mics get cut off at the end of their time so they can't take two minutes. Oh, that's so lame. I hate that. That's like a high school debate. This is the fucking world we're talking about. Give them boxing gloves. Yeah, get them juiced up.

I don't like the talk over each other thing, though. That's not what I want. I like when Trump yells at them, though. I want to hear their actual ideas and plans and you know counters and you know you say one thing i want to hear him respond to it i don't want to hear him begin his sentence then you just yell over him and that's that's i'm not getting what i want from that yeah i mean this seriously and it doesn't sound like it but why what would what would any of that matter the stuff that they're saying that's i mean i hear your point right like it's

all lies especially biden but also especially trump the first i'm there testing competency in like like their mental status like i would be fine if they just had like a talk about call of duty then i could you know and it's like holy shit biden doesn't know shit like he said world at war was the best what's he thinking he's seen andersonboy or some shit. We'd know that there was something seriously wrong with the Biden administration. He's a Call of Duty 5 fan. But what I'm getting at is they could talk about anything. I need to see how well they talk about anything.

Talk about sports. Talk about finances. I'd love for you to talk to me about the stock market or the economy in a very niche area. I don't need you to cover the broad strokes tonight. I know where you both stand. You put it on your fucking website. Let me see who's confident, who's still there at 80.

Jesus Christ. I don't know anybody who's 80 who's sharp. Not sharp enough to be president probably. Because most of them are dead already. I mean, this is kind of confirmed. It really doesn't matter who's president. It really doesn't seem to matter. It matters a little.

It matters a little. If you're talking about, like, in some grand scheme of things, it depends. Now, Trump didn't make any wars. That hadn't happened in a long time. It seemed like he just wanted to do little precision strikes. That was the best thing he did was something he didn't do. Yeah, sure. I mean, there's something to say for that.

Now we're all about war again because lion biden is in office back on top baby ready to go find a side joe let's go boys he's going to do it it's genocide joe and and uh he's clearly an engineer to genocide and he's weaponizing uh the genociders that's why he's gonna lose by the way yeah that's why he's gonna lose that's why he's losing to lose, by the way. That's why he's going to lose. That's why he's losing in Michigan, is because of this Palestine thing. Trump increased levels in Afghanistan, and he didn't pull out.

That's not really an anti-war thing. Trump went into Syria. That's not really an anti-war thing. The narrative that Trump was the peaceful guy, by that measure, you could trump was the peaceful guy you know by that measure you could call biden the peaceful guy because he kept us out of ukraine and kept us out of gaza we're not out of ukraine we fund the entirety of it we do fund well not the entirety that's not right your

funds almost as much as we do combined i'm telling truth though though Yeah but half and all Of it is a lot different Okay well like a couple raids Or bombings in Syria is not funding A war against Russia We had boots on the ground In Syria We don't have boots on the ground in Ukraine

I believe we already had those boots on the ground correct Yeah I think they've been going on Ever since Gaddafi in Libya And he increased the troop levels In Afghanistan on the ground, correct? Yeah, I think they've been going on. Ever since Gaddafi in Libya. It's Al-Assad. And he increased the troop levels in Afghanistan. I just think the whole Trump kept us out of war thing is half myth. He didn't start any new ones.

Well, Biden ended Afghanistan and he hasn't brought soldiers. That's a negative on everybody's list. I'm fine with him taking us out of Afghanistan. That was a good thing. I don't know how he did it, though. It like trump did it better trump just stayed in there trump we'd still be in there if trump won re-election maybe yeah maybe yeah who knows how anything would be materially different maybe it wouldn't matter at all because trump and biden are literally just

going to argue in regard to the israel shit about which one of them loves Israel more and which one will give more money and how they're my favorite country. No, they're my favorite country. They're my favorite, actually. No, actually, no. Shut up. What if Donald's take is, because he's a real estate guy, he sees a vast opportunity

here. We've got all this property. We've already done the demolition work. That's half the cost. There's no asbestos regulations in palestine i got a guy for that like it would i could see him taking that he like he's like how about this we will buy that's from israel what if he buys palestine i think israel wants it real bad i think you'd love us to just buy it over though what's, though. What's that, Isaiah? No, sorry, I didn't mean to cut off. Do you think they're both, like, tonally adept enough that they would both argue like pro-Israel?

Or do you think both of them are just going to do the politician thing of being like, well, there's people on both sides, and I like people. So, you know, like... Trump is pro-Israel 100%. Trump is like, they had 80 80 foot banners of him hanging in jerusalem they fucking love him and he loves them yeah trump's take on israel i've heard him say they need to finish the job what israel's not doing right is they need better tiktok videos they

need better pr around this he is not saying we should should Israel's like, let's just keep bombing. Let's make the rubble bounce. Trump is not saying that's a bad plan. Trump is saying you just need better TikTok videos around this. The IDF used to have the best TikToks because they have so many hot ladies. I guess they pick a job for those ladies that's media person. She just gets to be hot and wear the uniform and tote a gun around and so it was off the chain i love their social media but then i saw there's there's like this trend over there where they dress up like palestinian refugees and so like these girls have like blacked out teeth and like rags on and like fake dead babies

and they're like mocking and like dancing and stuff uh you know they're mocking and dancing and stuff. They're wearing the black footage numbers. Have you seen these? No, I'm not on TikTok. You've got to subscribe to all of them. I see them on Twitter sometimes. You'll see the comments from people like Muslims and they'll be like, you will rue the day that you did this.

One day we will finish this. Yeah, sure you will. Why am I involved? why am i funding this so trump's trying to have it one way trump's trying to be pro-israel and biden's trying to have it both ways which i don't think he's really getting so they're not the same but maybe they are the same yeah i don't know we just finished that like extreme 300 million300 million landing pad we built for them so that we can give them free stuff. Luckily, nobody got killed

in construction of that. In the end, they're going to kowtow to their multi-billionaire Palestinian donors. Can't argue with facts. Big Palestine. A lot of industry there. They make RPGs. palestine yeah a lot of industry there they make rpg a lot of idgs that's that's kind of it they make those manufacture fear and hunger yeah no it seems like it's pretty rough over there i'm not sure though i haven't

oh yeah can you drop me over there i'd say say, get me out of here. Yeah, you think so? I wonder if there's any Airbnb... Zach, see if there's an Airbnb listing in the war zone in Palestine. Party's not allowed. No smoking. No smoking. That would be so funny. There's a missile impaled through the fucking

wall of the building. But it's done in a fun way, like at Margaritaville. Yeah, yeah. Like a theme restaurant? Don't worry, that rocket is theme restaurant. That rocket real. Don't touch that one. Come right

to your table. Scream at you for being infidel. The ration will drop right out of the ceiling, right on your table. I hope you like sour Skittles. Oh, and the newest thing. This is the newest thing I've seen, Taylor. I know you don't follow this, so you'll love this.

So they've organized huge convoys of semi-trucks. Oh, here we go. Palestine. Beautiful. Nicer than I thought. Holy shit. Look at that. Oh, look at that spacious fold-out bed.

Where were these taken? They have hammocks and benches in Palestine? I wish there were helicopters. Oh, look at you paramotor while you're there. That's a stunt kite, though. Now I see why they need to get invaded. That's beachfront property. A picture of the animals' asses.

Some ladies there. Well, this makes it seem like a good old time. Oh, kite surfing? Yeah. Wow. That's probably what that kite was. What was I saying? You said something new you found? Oh, there's huge convoys of food going into

Gaza. I mean, huge convoys of semi-truck trailers loaded down with food, but the Israelis are stopping them at the border and throwing all the shit off the trucks and setting the trucks on fire like like like like in broad daylight in broad daylight they're waving israeli flags they're on the mountain of food and they're going death to palestine while they pour rice and flour out on the ground and stomp on it and like are soldiers or just people? No, these are Israeli citizens. Well, they're all soldiers because they have mandatory service too.

That's true. And then when night fell, they burned three of the trucks that were sitting there. And I mean, you can't imagine the pile of food on the ground that I'm talking about. It looks like that picture of the buffalo skulls from the wild west. Every buffalo is a dead Indian. They've got the same mindset

over there they're literally like no we will starve them like they're not like trying to be they're not behaving in a chill let's get along man it wasn't very chill taylor october 7th wasn't very chill okay dude that whole region not chill i think i think we you could say that about 9-11 Well yeah 9-11 was a not chill day But like On September 11th Very not chill

New York sucks All of New York City Awful vacation A lot of noise I saw the portal With the 9-11 picture that Ireland put on it I wish they'd do more of that

that's first I saw a bunch of what are they Ireland? where was the other side? New York and Dublin so on the Dublin side I saw a bunch of men like mooning New York and then in New York, an OnlyFans

model comes and raises their top. We win. I like that. How long until video from that is used in court for a murder in New York? They closed it down.

Yeah, they shut it down. Did they shut it down over the OnlyFans girl? This is Sally O'Houlihan from Dublin, a They closed it down. Yeah, they shut it down. Did they shut it down over the OnlyFans girl? It was the tip. This is Sally O'Houlihan from Dublin, a witness to the murder in New York. It was the most ghastly thing I ever saw. Black as the night he was.

Eyes are gleaming. Eyes gleaming eyes gleaming mouth spittling with fury quick was his blade and faster was his gait how many puppets for this for anonymity they use some like some like some like racist puppet from from the 1920s

you sound like um have you seen that show baby reindeer that's getting a lot of traction lately it's this show based there was this uh stand-up comedian who like it's apparently based on his life he had this woman stalk him for years and years like sexually assault him and like yeah are you described is that her kyle is that her yeah yeah she was fat person big person big girl big girl yeah that's just her head yeah imagine the rest of her um but yeah it like for years this girl like stalked him like uh like ruined his job ruined his career stuff like that uh so he makes a series and he plays himself about like this woman's years of stalking and stuff like that so immediately the series got really popular uh immediately people are like all right well who was the woman so they find this girl who like no no i'm sorry interject she comes forward she wants the that's right she did come forward first yeah because

like she is in the tv series it's like very apparent that she like craves his attention even if it's negative she just needs to be on his mind so as soon as the series gets popular she comes forward people found a bunch of old tweets where she is like tweeting sexual stuff out him so she goes on piers morgan right and it's like straight up like no that wasn't me none of that none of that that happened not me and he's like what appears like well did you in fact send like 48 000 emails she goes that could be a friend who doesn't send hundreds of random emails a night to the same person like that's just i don't know i've had friends and that's what we do so i don't know yeah i don't know how the emails that's how many emails i've ever gotten like like what in 25 30 years or whatever i've had an email address i haven't gotten 50 000 emails yes she would she

would text him call him email him like any way to contact the show's really intense i'm surprised it's doing as well as it is because it outright shows like because what what happens over the course of the show is you find out that the reason he's handling the situation so weird is because he was sexually assaulted by a man years prior and had never like correctly processed that so now it's happening to him again so he's kind of like he has he's fascinated with it he wants to show it which when you think about he himself writing the story about an event that happened to him and then playing himself in that role it's really strange uh, they outright show the entire assault

with the man previously, like in all the detail. Yeah. Did you buy that? I skipped that one myself. Reason? Did you buy his version of like, oh, I was out doing hardcore drugs in Mali with this older celebrity man

that I wanted to make me famous, and then we hooked up every weekend doing drugs but he raped me. Was meth one of the drugs? Was meth one of the drugs? Because that you're definitely describing what he wants to get across

but the whole time I'm like I haven't gone and Molly with guys and fucked them to get famous I don't gone and drugged Molly with guys and fucked them to get famous. I don't know. How famous? Not at all. Chris Pratt famous?

What are we going for here? I don't know. When I first watched it, Dick, I remember sitting there. I was really bitter to it immediately afterwards because my wife was the one who was like, Oh, it's this really good show. It'll be popular. And I came out of it like what was that that sounds familiar yeah never do that again what i'm having weird flashbacks why is that shag carpet looks so familiar yeah uh no but like i i was really harsh about it like why did you do that that was stupid or whatever

but then like i i hear situations like that in real life where someone lets themselves be taken advantage of over and over and it's kind of similar you know like oh well they're so nice to me otherwise and this could be my big break and i don't want to like depending on the person i guess i could see how that could happen i like to think that i myself would be like did you just touch me all Alright, well, I'm never coming here again, right? But, I mean, there's some people that happen. I do a lot of drugs with gay guys

and I've never been crying in the shower the next day. And then I definitely didn't go back to them next week and do it all again. Yeah, bro, that scene in the shower is awful. But what if you knew that you would get to be Katniss Everdeen? Yep.

Then all of a sudden Harvey Weinstein's looking sexy as fuck. Pretty charming? Oh, absolutely. And then he doesn't even tell his girlfriend, like, okay, yeah, you got raped. Why don't you tell her that you're, like, doing drugs and fucking this guy? Like, that's not... Wait, wait. So you do drugs with the gay guys, but you don't get any sex?

No. I'm so off-putting. Do you want to, like, hit sex no i make you i'm so off-putting do you want to like hit the gym or something maybe i don't know i mean i'm just saying it i but i'm unfuckable even the guys that are trying to roofie me they're like oh never mind get out i'll call you an uber move his drink move his drink all right guys i gotta get out of here happy 700 and whatever this is thank you 700 thank you later dick take care see ya this is a this is a fun episode i heard when i was in the waiting room zach was like yeah meth head came on earlier that actually happened

yeah oh yeah yeah yeah we got his he's uh excuse to fill alright prison that guy very dirty shoes to fill I'd imagine yeah Gavin McGinnis was on for the first hour or so and he left and then he popped back in and said hey we were talking about meth heads here's my buddy he just popped in he's a meth head

and we talked to him and he was like oh yeah you can just goon for two days on meth if that guy's not a meth head he And we talked to him and he was like, oh, yeah, you can just goon for two days on meth. Yeah. If that guy's not a meth head, he's Daniel Day-Lewis. Yeah. He was scratching at sores on his face and no one noticed somehow. Look. I just thought he could be dry out.

I've got to say as a fan of PK, for one, i really appreciate coming on for the 700th spectacular it means a lot thank you boys very much thank you but also i think what would be more interesting is if you had the opposite of whatever this is i want to see an episode where you bring back on um the larry guy who robbed a bank but couldn't describe it or the drill yes and then you bring on the netflix producer who could not what the movie was you just have like the worst hits the mushroom guy who left his children with the most part of the lady

the one who tried to explain that like no if you kill your wife just forget about it it'll be okay it'll blow over what you need to do is you need to be like yeah we're gonna have you guys on at different times but you actually get all of them in a room at once and then leave. I want the girl bouncing her boobies the whole time too.

The one who just sat there and like shuffled her feet. The one that did the RC racing track? No, the one we just talked about tonight. The mint fucking titty girl who we had. Who was shaking or titties there i remember the highlights there's that one guy who got onto taylor for vaping i can't even remember what he did oh that that was uh that was the um the ceo of dollar shave club that's it yeah he's like oh we're you're vaping here on the show what do you think we're doing, dude? I believe we have the CEO of Dollar Shave Club.

What do you think this is? Bill Maher smokes weed on his show. Do you think that this is like a Fox News panel or something you're on? What the fuck? You're here to talk about business? How's their shaving? Was I there for that or was I in jail? You're in between an OnlyFans chick

and a streamer in a med head. It was Red Couch Kyle, I think. Okay. That was a long time ago. I love this idea, Isaiah. I want to get... Maybe episode 800. I think he died.

He was in a coma last I heard. Even then. If you don't have them on at the same time, you've got to purposefully mix up the questions. So you go to Larry and you're like, what's a producer do? And he'd be like, well, in the jewel robbing business, my daughter fixes my phones actually. No, my daughter, she wouldn't believe this.

She programs phones. She's a whiz. A wh't believe this. She programs phones. She's a whiz. A whiz this kid. She's going somewhere. He's clearly describing setting up an iPhone. Yeah, like hitting next and entering an email. God bless that man. He's just great.

She can connect to Bluetooth headphones. He's giving her credit for just things that are on an iPhone. He's like, you don't understand. It shows me how to get to work. It shows me how to get to the club she programmed it for me like she was like typing the address that had to be i think the most frustrating podcast because the whole time i'm like how do you rob a jewelry store i was sitting here so i was exasperated because i felt responsible for him. It's like I brought him to a party

and he had pissed on the rug. And I'm trying to be like, guys, yes, he pissed on the rug, but please, he has some great anecdotes. If we could just get them. And he won't fucking tell. Give him a second. Yeah, he juggles.

And he can't find, where are my parabolas? I did that, Kyle. I watched a surfer from New Jersey who just had the right vibe. I thought he'd be an amazing guest. And we brought him on the show, and he wasn't even paying attention to the show.

There was a guy in the background who was a way better guest, his friend. Old Ben Gravy. What frustrated me wasn't that he's bad, because sometimes people are bad. it was that he wasn't even trying like he didn't give a fuck about the show and that that way i hated it of the three guys you mentioned for like having a worst of all time show the only one that i thought

like that i genuinely liked at the end of the episode was the the jewel thief guy because he wasn't like the producer dude was being like intentionally obstinate about we'd be like what does a producer do and he doesn't want to say i have a made-up job and so he just weasels around intentionally whereas larry god bless him could not get to the point and would and would just meander he was the guy at the very end like one of the funniest moments where he just was like just just called me fat right at the end and i'm like you're fatter than i am dude we had a little bit of a fat off but you guys were gonna fight right he was like like you were like not at all scared you like come at me you fattled man i forgot about the fighting part i don't think that'd go your way, Larry. I don't think so.

I like Larry. You could tell he was just like an older guy who wasn't a huge camera personality. You should have called him a punk. Yeah, yeah. I bet you didn't even rob a store. Larry, I'm going to come over and take you. I bet you never robbed anybody, Larry.

Larry, don't let anyone tell you that you're too old for the game get back out there he's got gadgets from 1993 that he thinks are like star wars cut it that's a whole fuck i'd watch that show larry you know that james bond rebreather isn't real right you're gonna drown what what was wild about that too is that when you he did say stuff it was like the coolest stuff ever he's like oh yeah well you know we were going from jersey new york so you know our window was shot out so we had to pull up behind a truck and quickly zoom off like please do not speak about this and then go back to programming iphones there yes so you skipped it right there you skipped

over part of six awesome stories right there yeah yeah tell them. He had no idea what was interesting to us. He doesn't know how to tell a story, and he has no idea which of his memories have interest to others. It's like, dude, I've never met anyone who robbed jewelry stores. You were a professional thief. That, to me, is some Reservoir Dogs shit. That's what I'm picturing when he's talking.

I'm picturing the scene in Reservoir Dogs where they're sitting outside talking about the manager gives you any guff to fucking cut his pinky finger off, then he'll tell you if he wears ladies underwear that's what I'm picturing, and that's what I want out of him, I want to fucking build up like, yeah, and I had Mikey with me, and Mikey's a little guy, but he's good with his hands

he's good with his hands, and I knew Mikey had my it's like, okay, Mikey's behind us, he's good with his hands like, you're kind of going along with him on a fucking story, and he had no concept of a narrative, a story. I tell you, man, there's just some people out there who cool stuff happens to, but they just can't relay it. You know, I think socially people need at least a little bit of storytelling know-how, you know, just to get by. But like, for example, my sister, I recently went to her college graduation and the commencement speaker was a guy who had been to space.

He had orbited the Earth, right? or like been to the iss or something and he gets up there and he's like yeah i was in college and uh i dropped out so um then i went military and uh went to the air force anyway i was in space one day and uh that was pretty neat so uh yeah you guys do good like it just it's like what come back no don't stop there it was what was space like yeah you were in a rocket plane that yeah that was boring you know i didn't like it it's like just lie say it was cool do you remember the right opinion that guest that's is he was he british yes yes yes i do he does like storytelling videos i really like well-produced stuff. And I asked ChatGBT who the worst PKA

guest was ever and it called him out. I have seen him on some list people have discussed before, yeah. Because I like his channel a lot. I think he makes good content. This just isn't his format. I feel like that about Larry Lawton. If you go to his channel, there's some good content

on there and it feels like someone got him like like like someone walked him through the story and edited the video i think his son did right he said like his son does editing for him that's who's gonna send after you little little larry little larry little larry's gonna i'm gonna be getting someone's gonna tweet a picture at me of my house and and then i'll know that he's nearby he's good with his hands it's you know it's wild that i know jules i know jules it's wild that kyle went to jail for a plant but then this guy who robs diamond stores had worse jail stories no offense kyle but it's kind of sad you know yeah he was terrible i was i was embarrassed

worth of stories out of his 60 days because he's good at talking i was i was i was actively angry with him it felt like he was self-sabotaging to like mock me that's what i was like there's no way that he's like bombing to make me somehow there's the only people that there's no way that he's bombing to make me look bad somehow. The only people that there's a 0% chance we could get back are the producer guy. And I was going to say the hallucinogen, take the guy who's like wife. We could probably talk him into coming on again. And then you have to remember, Kyle, you have four kids. Is it three or four? I think let's go five. And then it will have been enough time, you have four kids. Is it three or four? Let's go five.

And then it will have been enough time. I said three. I had twins recently. Sorry. I had names ready. What were they going to be? Bill, Diane, and Toby. I was hoping it would be like Blinky, Winky, and Nod. I wouldn't believe that.

Let's go to that guy. Be like, Kyle wants to say he's sorry. And if he questions any name, that's immediately a dead relative they were named after who died in a heroic way. He was named after my aunt Susan who was killed on an acid expedition in Puerto Rico. I had no idea.

A fellow fallen soldier. Do you remember your dead relative children with a pedophile. Yeah. Oh, and then the guy who I called out for not having actually been stabbed by his dad. Maybe him too. Wasn't that the guy who voices Woods on Black Ops? Yes.

He was fun for the most part, except that was a baffling tale where he was like, and then my dad stabbed me with like a poker and it's sticking out of me. And so I run into the woods like you do when you're stabbed. And then I hung out there until like it cooled off. And it's like stitched it up myself. Yeah. And I'm sitting here like, no, you didn't.

Show us the scar. It's't. Show us the scar. It's like, show us the scar. Get naked on the show right now. Go ahead. It's like, me and her got it on. This guy I know, him and her did the wild thing. No, they didn't.

No, they didn't. You can imagine what it'd be like if it did. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I'd rather do a show with Chris Farley's exhumed corpse than that producer again. That producer's

so funny. I like to think that he'd do exactly what he was doing. Do you remember the show? And the show looked like dog shit and uh it's castlevania right yes maybe something he like wrote himself into it as like a cool guy castlevania is a good show he wrote himself into some non-fucking sense that that was crazy and he was like the tony stark of the fucking show it was live action but i think there might have been

some like various other types of media mixed in it was like a fever dream to watch i think there might have been stop action and animation mixed with live action and none of it made any fucking sense and it was it was so ridiculous i watched i didn't watch much of it to be fair but it was just clearly going to be shit oh go ahead sorry i was gonna say it might be misremembering but didn't he have something to do with the whole apu thing or was that someone else yes we found out about that or at least i found out after the fact because i would have had a fucking field day with this guy if i would have known that he was responsible for getting one of my favorite simpsons characters apu removed from the show because apu had the crime of being Indian, racist much. He's voiced by a white man.

Yeah, because Hank Azaria, I think is his name, does an excellent Indian 7-Eleven worker. Those guys didn't grow on trees in the late 80s. You find that guy. You find that guy. You couldn't just find an Indian man, okay? They were rare. It's not like today where there's billions of them.

Imagine if there were billions of them to choose from and you still went with someone like this. We have paid $5 million in episodes. I went back. I found that episode we did from episode 585 from two years ago, the producer. And the top comment with 1.2 thousand upvotes is laughing at kyle saying we are trying to engage you to discuss

your projects more i'd be happy not to talk about you if that's what you prefer i love it when kyle does flip a switch and decide this guest. What is it called? When you cut the hook off? Cut bait, maybe? Yeah. I turn off the politeness and geniality completely. And it's like, all right, now you're just dealing with me. So there's one point during it goes quiet. I think it was one of the times he asked about video games or whatever.

It goes quiet. And then Kyle goes, this is going great. This is going great this is going great because i know the audience can feel it i know that they feel what i feel like especially the ones who are like audio only perhaps who are like in a car and it's all quiet and they're like checking their fucking like you know media player like did it pause or stuff oh they're just oh it's awkward huh and i know it is i know it is because this guy's that guy struck me as someone who had done so much cocaine that that there was part of the brain that didn't work right anymore i had i don't remember the exact question but i remember being kind of well-formed like something i'd put together you

know during the minutes coming up to it and i asked him this question we lay it out there and he goes do you guys like video games it was like what the flying fuck you're gonna change topics on that yeah that guy was full of pregnant pauses and just he'd be like so what does being a producer entail all And they were all miscarriages. Yeah, all miscarriages. 100% of them abortions. I don't know why I don't do that. Why don't come on here and you ask something and I'm just like, FBS Russia. Yeah.

You were that gun guy. That's right. That's right. Yeah, you're accurate. He would start sentencing Sam. He'd be like, being a producer entails a lot of things. You may tell you what a producer does.

And there'd be nothing else. A producer's a position that does wear a couple of different hats. Namely, if you're a real producer, then you're part financier and part guide to the project. This project is going off to meet your vision. Not maybe the nuts and bolts, but you want a machine that does this. You don't care about the gears and the gizmos, the scenes and the lighting. You want this product and you're financing it to some degree or another.

That's what a producer does. Now you can get producer credits if you're an actor as a negotiating thing because you're getting paid twice for the movie. That's a different thing. That's not a real... Sometimes they make all the hiring decisions. You need an armorer. You need a cleaning crew. You need craftsmen. You've got a casting director for that. There's lots of fucking jobs on that

fucking set. I don't know why I'm cursing. On that fucking set. Fucking set. I'm just remembering how annoyed I was with that no i'm right they do that they hire the production staff is what i'm saying you can tell pretty quick who's a producer and who's a producer on stuff you know yeah it's like what's your your producer oh so like you're the nephew of a show runner at netflix sweet you you are the guy who made one phone call that helps the catering get here so yeah

i just i can't imagine like going on a show even ours like any podcast as a producer of a netflix show and not knowing anything like not being able to say any i i think i watched i watched a clip i believe that kyle sent in our group chat and was like, like it was literally like his own like suave character written in. Like it would literally be like, Hey Netflix, I'm doing a show and it's called Taylor and it's about the coolest guy ever. And he's jacked and he gets all the pussy and, and it's,

it's in every episode. It's about how his, his war is not that he can't handle something cause he's awesome and infinite and he can do anything. His problem is not that he can't handle something because he's awesome and infinite and he can do anything. His problem is always convincing the people around him to accept that he's as awesome as he is. And it's like, yeah, it's not compelling. I can't remember the storyline, but I do think it is the worst piece of media, written television or movies that I have ever consumed. I've never heard a song as bad.

It was dreadful. It was super bad. It was better. It was way better. I asked Shaggy what the worst TV show she ever saw was like a month ago and she came up with that one. I watched

maybe 15-20 minutes of it or something like that. I don't remember it very well either, but he had made himself the Tony Stark of the it or something like that. And he was, I don't remember it well either, but he had made himself like the Tony Stark of the universe or something like that. It was like, it was really ugly to look at and disjointed. It was like a fever dream. It made no sense. It was a little bit live action, a little bit animated,

and a little bit stop motion. It was like an experimental thing to put together. Oh, big time. It was like an experimental student film. That's what it felt like. It felt like something you would watch at a liberal arts college arts college on a saturday night and everyone would clap lightly afterwards and and leave you know like it was bizarre but it was on netflix i mean if you search this guy on youtube a lot of it is just worst guest in pka history like well those are the a lot of guys like that like they never have a public face like maybe in the

industry but not to like you know just people so all it takes is one one appearance on a podcast or a show or something and it's gone they're done yeah yeah well maybe not industry-wise but at least publicly i don't hate the guy that was just an insane interview every part of it you know who i'm legitimately not happy with hodor he said he would come on the show and then he pulled out we called him a bitch for like five years i would have liked you i don't know why you're all sour about it you big oaf he's like a he's like a gay club dj a gigantic one i'd love to like ask like daniel day lewis style questions to him where it'd be like my understanding is you actually didn't speak for the entire seven year run even in your personal life is that true and he's like no of

course not it's like oh really like you're asking like i heard you lived on the land during that entire filming process, growing your own grain. Is that right? You ate lizards. Is that right? I heard that you practiced for it by terrorizing Scottish villages and being chased with pitchforks and torches. None of this is true.

So you have a problem with your weight. It's true. Just being rude as shit. It's yeah i i really wanted him as a guest at the time because we were such huge huge fans of the show and it was i don't think he had died yet i think he was actively on the show carrying bran around or some shit like he was a big part of the show in that season like he was one of the main characters it came about because he said he loved being on podcasts so we invited him to our podcast and he said yes and then maybe he watched the show i don't know but he got cold feet and didn't want to do it anymore i think he got harassed on twitter by by our people they kept asking him and he was like i said yes and they're

like he doesn't know how the internet works i guess it's like they don't know you said yes dude and so for like days people are asking him because people watching the show over the course of a week or two weeks sometimes or whatever, they probably still watch that old episode and like, let's ring him up. Or he just got online and was like, lock and load.

What the life? These guys are pre-cummy. This is pre-cummy days. That would be so funny if we could get him now. After he's... I hear they're making a stand-alone Hodor show. Is that true? No.

No, not at all. Really? Because that'd be great for you, right? I hear that you're doing a lot of DJ work at venues with sturdy stages. So you're fat. lot of dj work at venues with sturdy stages so you're fat tell us about that sounds like you reword that question be like i've been fat i know how it is you know not like yeah but like just you're like famous for being like weird looking yeah you know i've been fat i've never they saw you and they thought,

ah, retarded giant. Perfect. He's the guy to cast. Everyone hated you in Winterfell. You food grubbing, selfish giant. They were all terrified while you're stealing turkey legs out of people's hands is what I imagine it being.

And also your character too. And your character. Yeah. He was also roundly disliked. We all watched the Game of Thrones spinoff show the house of the dragon i watched like two episodes and then i was like i'm not gonna get i'm not gonna get god again no way i'm not getting god again oh no it's worth your time it's pretty good

yeah wait did you watch it oh yeah i've never even seen game of thrones that's how far behind the curve i am at this point don't even invest i just i just got around to watching true detective for the first time game of thrones is better now no the game of thrones they ruined it like you mean the ending has set with you better since or what it is is some of my frustrations were how long it took for an episode to come out there would be seasons with only six episodes so i need six bangers and it was a year and a half like in between seasons sometimes so if you make me wait a year and a half for about five hours of content then they need to be amazing it better go off yeah but on re-watching when

you're like taking down two shows in a night if if one of them isn't an absolute smash hit, it's still a good show. I get that. You know, I kind of had that experience with the walking dead. Cause I quit watching the walking dead. Cause I just, I got so frustrated.

So then, and I'm talking like season seven, eight or something like that. But then I go back and watch them on Netflix and I'm like, now that I can just watch it, it's not as bad. Like, yeah,

it's not as bad when I get like a, just one character episode or whatever I can, I can sustain. See, it's still, it's not as bad like yeah i can't do it's not as bad when i get like a just one character episode or whatever i can i can sustain see it still it still went downhill but not i never minded the pacing i never minded the pacing with game of thrones i look i wish it would be fat you would want more but i thought that was the charm of the show that it always left me wanting more i was never full yeah as long as that kind of filler stuff is good, you can normally get by with it. I ate it up. I love all the minutiae in that show. My problem,

one of the reasons I don't want to watch the three-body problem on Netflix is those two creators of the show and the direction they took that final season and the way that they had characters completely betray not only all of their growth in one episode but each other.

Wait, are you conflating Walking Dead? I'm still just talking about Game of Thrones. Oh, okay. I'm talking about Brienne and Jaime. I'm talking about Daenerys Targaryen. All of that shit. Yeah, okay.

It was infuriating. I haven't gone back and watched it um you know since watching that finale that last episode and i used to re-watch that thing all the fucking time i watched the first four seasons a bunch of times like over and over and over i loved it and i mean you know i've got the books and the fucking you know i watched all that watched all the youtube theorem videos like like who is tyrian secretly a targaryen and it's like oh my god if tyrian like gets set on fire and he's standing there naked dwarf cock hanging down to his knee and he walks through the fucking fire i'm gonna

lose it like that i'm yeah yeah i'm thinking of magical things like that it never happened but yeah house of the dragon not to like go on a whole tangent because windigoon's not not into not down with the uh the game of thrones you should get it i don't care you can talk oh i'm spoiling i like hearing about stuff that you know i'm not into so it's saved by um i'm spacing on the actor's name he used to play dr who he's my favorite dr who um matt smith yeah yeah um matt smith is he he he's the whole show for me he's like the brother of the king who's who's a bad boy like a 40 year five year old bad boy i guess um like like he's just like whores and incest and and um capital punishment and riding a dragon and swinging a big cock.

And there's a scene where they're doing battle with this guy whose whole thing is he nails you to crosses on the beach and lets the crabs feed on you. And Matt Smith's been in this long, drawn-out conflict with the crab feeder, but the crab feeder lives in the caves and the dragons can't burn him. And they have archers that fend off the dragons. And Matt Smith gets a letter that says the king is coming now. The king's thought this war has gone on long enough.

He's going to big brother is going to step in and solve this whole problem. And Matt Smith rages. And the next thing you see, it's just Matt Smith rowing. He's not on his dragon. He's rowing to that beach where they nail the people and feed him to the crabs. And he walks up to a big mound of sand so that the crab feeder and all of his army can see him. And he lays down his sword and they approach him. And he just goes kung fu mode and picks the sword back up and starts killing everybody around him. And the archers are shooting

at him, but he's running through it. They shoot him two, three, four times. He's shot. He's breaking him off. He keeps running. And he's taking all of this damage, and he's getting all of this focus so his dragons can come from behind and just burn everything at the last second. And it's wonderful. The rest of the show is about a little dirty whore. Yeah.

And I like that, too. I'm pretty sure he deflowers his niece or something yeah yeah 17 okay well i guess it's okay then right yes as taylor says let's just put that on what did i do you always talk about how you love incest you bring up those bible quotes about oh yeah you can't get me off of that wait what bible quotes about incest are harmless as a lamb oh ew ew gross yeah it goes on and on it's upsetting i don't like it i find it blasphemous and upsetting yeah i can't believe you taylor disappointed i'm sorry everyone

so you you said you were doing the weird bible series is that where you're going through uh i guess the eccentric it's uh it's a podcast i have uh where like once a month we'll sit down and just talk about like different stories like uh we we just did one the one we did tonight was about the pharisees uh the one before that was like on um uh topical strong guy i'm just right there with it you know thank you kyle always just johnny on the spot um oh because they're jews oh thank you thank you samson samson yeah the strong guy we did one by him just like weird bible stories and stuff like that because i've got i've had three podcasts now it's absurd i have that i've got cast with meat canyon and then i've got the red thread with Charlie and Jackson Clark. So it's,

it's weird. I went from, I think last time I was on at zero and now it's like, you guys are right. This is a good drift. Great idea. Dude. Next time we have you on,

you'll have five. Then a Baker's dozen. There's like a, I think Shaquille O'Neal just did one lebron james has one jj you know what that should be called tall tales oh that's fucking amazing uh but like rich and powerful people are doing podcasts like they must earn more than us because to make it worth like shaquille o'neal's while so much more than us like i think what hill o'neal gets paid more than yeah i think what happens sometimes especially if there's like a spotify

exclusivity or something they just have to say shaquille's doing a podcast and spotify's like oh we'll pay blah blah blah like the contracts are absurd because that's what joe rogan did right he went spotify exclusive for like i think he's not anymore right am i crazy so he's they just expanded it and i think spotify in some way manages or distributes the youtube video so now it's on youtube but it's still part of his deal with spotify and he got a couple hundred more million dollars he's he's like uh i saw the spotify and i mean it's limited to spotify so you know who knows you know the itunes numbers and all that but rogan is i think over four times bigger than the than number two yeah it's like it's like average

average spotify listens on his episode 15 million and then number two is like three million something did you see the episode with lex friedman man it's call her daddy is that number two that was number two but like she was way behind and obviously totally different, different. Did you see the episode with Lex Friedman where Joe gives him his watch? No. Lex, Lex Friedman's got a watch.

I haven't seen much Rogan. I guess, I don't remember exactly how it went, but Lex Friedman didn't had like a crappy watch on or something. And Rogan's like, ah, what are you wearing that for? I think he complimented Joe's watch.

Joe like takes his watch off. He's like, here, this is yours. This is your watch. He's like, ah, what are you wearing that for? I think he complimented Joe's watch. Joe takes his watch off. He's like, here, this is yours. This is your watch. He's like, are you serious? Thank you so much. It was such a sincere thank you because it was like he just handed, it's like a $10,000 or $12,000 watch at least. I don't remember what it was, an Omega or something

like that, but it was a really cool moment. I like that. I also like it's kind of the same thing when he had Elon Musk on. on elon was bragging about how fast the uh the plaid is or whatever and he's like tell me which one to get you tell me which one to get i'll order tonight i'll order tonight tell me which one the fastest one and and sure enough he had one pretty quick i don't think he had to go through the standard ordering process you know yeah i it sounded like he bought it because joe tells the story like elon did him a huge favor by coming on the show and he wanted to return the favor by buying a tesla yeah and that's a that's a money making moves that's why wendigoon's gonna buy a lock and load

after he i don't uh i don't see much rogan but i, like, I like the clips of Shane Gillis on YouTube, just like Shane Gillis. Yeah. He's so funny. He's got a show. He has excellent delivery. I've heard about the show, but I watched this clip of,

uh, there's like a drinking episode on Rogan and Joe was like, and I saw like, it was like intersplice with, uh, Shane talking about it on his own podcast, the Matt and Shane secret podcast after the fact. And he was like, and I saw like, it was like interspliced with Shane talking about it on his own podcast, the Matt and Shane secret podcast after the fact. And he's like, Shane was saying like, oh yeah, Joe, he's like Mr. Competitive. And you know me, I can throw back the BLs, the Bud Lights.

And so Joe's like, I could drink with you. And I laughed at him and was like, no, you can't. You can't drink with me, Joe. And so then Joe starts trying to drink with me and he like turns gray like he's dying. He turns gray like he's dying and he's like slurring his words and everything. And meanwhile, I've like tripled them up on my total BL number. And like you see, there's that picture of them doing the podcast, like from like the aftermath. And there's like every bit of 25 bud lights in front of shane gillis and he's just like the only

one there who's still like a little with it and everyone else he went in there and ran the table on him you don't want to do it you don't want to do a bud light drink off again you gotta stay in your lane yeah gotta know your vibe. You got to know your vibe. A man's got to know his limitations. That's what Clint Eastwood said. Yeah. He was the first one to say that. He's a spokesperson, I think so. He was.

Right? He is the Bud Light spokesman now. I don't know if he officially is. I thought I saw something about that. Because I remember after the whole Dylan Mulvaney stuff, they switched over to Shane. Yeah. Then they paid the USC $100 million plus, and then they paid the usc 100 million dollars plus and

then they paid the nfl another 100 million dollars plus and now they have a can for every team so you can collect them they've done that before coke has done that they're dropping all of those things simultaneously right now because a lot of people still haven't bought that beer because they put a transaxle it's a problem is a lot of people switch to a different beer and now they're just going to stick in that new groove so taylor you're you have you're a subject matter expert on beer like light beers is bud good is it no like but they're all those like big three are all pretty similar like bud light coors light miller light like uh if you're gonna pro tip out there if you're gonna drink a light beer of those like three major ones go with miller light because it's actually lower in calories than all the other ones

by like 10 15 calories a can which if you're drinking a bunch of those that really adds up and they all taste the same other than course i disagree so much i know you do but course light's the worst of the three. I disagree on that too. Bud Light has the strongest, hoppiest taste, the most bitter taste to it. It's my least favorite beer. Miller Light is smooth. It has very little bitter hoppiness to it.

And Coors Light is like a twangy Miller Light to me. It's more watered down. I think it's less alcohol by volume. Like maybe Bud Light's five and a half, Miller's five and a half, and maybe Coors is sometimes four or something like that. I think all the Lite beers are like four and a half, 4.2. I think they're all the same, man. Yeah.

Well, we could look this up. I'm not going to. There's no way we can find it out. We're just talking about beverages, Chris. just here, which is a much more. I like those appropriate beverages. Oh, don't get it. You can't get enough. I love drinking things.

You're drinking things every day. I like drinking a thing. Yeah. Yeah. How are those, Taylor? I've got some of those orders. I give two thumbs up to the Sprite Zero Sugar Chill, the Sprite Cherry Lime. What's different about the Chill? Well, it's Cherry Lime.

Yeah, it's Sprite Zero, but with Cherry Lime added. They got their scientists together, and they figured out, how do we do this? I don't know how they fucking did it. And it's going to be like muskrat anus or something like that. That's where the cherry comes from, or raspberry. I'll never drink raspberry

tea again, because i was sitting in a cracker barrel one morning in chicago with woody over there and he and as as someone drank the raspberry lemonade he's like you know they get that flavoring compound from the anus glands of a beaver and everybody's like i'm great at parties everybody gets out their phones. Breakfast comes to a halt. Everyone is googling and citing. How did they figure this out? I mean, you know. It's true

though. Someone's tried a lot of different lands. They must have had like a Manhattan Project level of secrecy and they're like, no one better fucking spin. Some guy was like, hey guys, I was with some guy. I was doing something and you wouldn't

believe what I just figured out. It just fell into my mouth. Crazy story. Anyway. Two more times, Larry. How you figured out that that anus gland tasted like delicious raspberries? Everyone was talking about going down on beavers and I got confused.

That would be good for the presidential debate. That's what they say about the first round of milk to cow. The country's in such a bad spot, believe me. What are we sweetening our tea with? Cherry soda. Lion Joe doesn't even know. We're using assholes or animals, folks. This is what they don't want you to know.

This is what they don't want you to know. How are they figuring this out? I heard him use that line the other day at one of his rallies the whole they're trying they're trying to get through me to get to you i'm just in the way and it's like that that's a good line like like you could see that that that charged up all those black actors he had standing behind him everybody was was real pumped when he dropped that line. I've been watching his rallies lately, not for long periods of time. I pop in and watch like two minutes to see, you know, is he coherent? Is he slurring his speech any?

Mostly he seems like he's kind of like lazing his way through his speeches. He's sing-songy. Yes, I'm reading from the teleprompter what it says in front of me sometimes he gets caught like he'll be like talking he's like uh yeah yeah he was getting his birthday biden doing like needing a teleprompter and then his teleprompter got turned and he starts complaining i can't do the speech my teleprompter is pointing at you guys teleprompter is pointing at you like. Teleprompter is pointing at you. Like, dude, 10 seconds ago, you were saying you didn't need one.

I do like that Biden will just, like, read the non-verbal cues. Oh, yeah. Pause. He'll be like, America is strong as strong as I am. The strongest country in the world. Pause and look left. Then he looks right. The whole looking thing I didn't see, but I did hear the

pause one. I watch montages of it because it gets recommended to me. He's got Burns hands now. I see the Montgomery Burns hands a lot. It's sort of this old person, don't want to fall down thing. Or maybe it's a motor function thing. Like he doesn't move his arms in locomote anymore.

I don't know. But it's a bad look. I don't fault him for falling off his bicycle. If anything, that was a good showing for him. Woody's explained how those – Honestly, Woody's explained how those foot pegs work on the bike. And I've watched it back, and it's like, oh, I'd have fell too. He has no choice but to fall. He's attached to the bike and i've watched it back and it's like oh i'd have fell too like he he has no choice but to fall he's attached to the bike he can't catch himself he's he was smart

enough seemingly not to put his right arm down and snap it which is what would happen he just fell with the bike yeah yeah can you imagine having a president like a cast like a fourth grader oh it's got it's got signatures all over it i see cats so much differently to me they're like the mark of an athlete like the people who had cats growing up those were the football players those were the soccer players like fucking video game guys didn't wear casts yeah but like if it would just be so funny to see like one of my friends like now in our mid-30s and be like what the fuck were you doing every what do you are the adult I know that will be like ah got a little too rowdy

over the weekend again the problem was I was high in the sky where I don't belong oh my god have you guys seen that video of that guy like that's crashing and almost dying that's spin out that's all yeah yeah oh anthony yeah yeah i've ever seen anyone in my life yeah no that's anthony vella his whole crew in text was they always fly at like 100 feet and they're good pilots but that's here's the deal if you fall from six feet

it sucks but it's a little like crashing a dirt bike if you have a problem at 2 000 feet then you have a lot of time to sort things out shit went wrong for him at i'll make it up 8 500 feet and there's nothing you can do it's shocking he survived 150 with that rig yeah well if you watch it the wing caught and halted his fall once or twice and there was no time to sort it out and i've watched so many parent i'm pretty good at paramotoring and i've watched so many videos where it's like i wish i could take their spot just take their spot fix their problem for him hand it back right and then they would have never had any trouble anthony's bro there's nothing you could

do it was instant he was immediately in an like an something he couldn't get back out of in the seconds he had it was done he's like so lucky to have survived crazy and his i didn't watch the whole thing but the screams are are pretty rough yeah He broke everything you can break. Like evil, can evil that shit. Yeah. Yeah. His arms busted up.

Like, yeah, his back, his chest, his pelvis, his. Yeah. He had a bunch of surgeries. I haven't talked to him yet.

I own he, he called me and I haven't called him back yet. Cause I suck. But, um, maybe we could get him like, come on the show in his, in his hospital room.

But I, I got to get Zach to add that. And like, if he gets, maybe we could get him like come on the show in his hospital room but I gotta get Zach to add that beep beep and like if he gets animated like when he starts telling the story I want Zach to like amp it up beep beep beep beep that'd be a running gag that I would enjoy

oh the listeners would love that he's a really nice guy you don't know what they want I'm gonna dip and go eat dinner and let you all finish out with Chris but thank you boys very much for having me it means a lot get on that worst guest episode and also love your

videos dude very nice to oh thanks yeah I was gonna say nice to meet you I didn't want to interrupt but yeah no problem y'all take care appreciate it thank you I bonded over a girlfriend once watching a hour long. When do you in video the, the LA shootout? Yeah,

it's good. Yeah. That's one of my favorite historical events to like look over. There's so much footage of it and it's so fucking insane. Yeah. Is there a lot of good footage of the actual shootout? Not just the aftermath. It's I think it'sernardino maybe like um these two guys took like drugs to keep them calm like um before they went to relax or uh yeah like yeah and maybe painkillers too and uh they walk in like full

body armor like like i saw this in tarkov yeah it's just like like it would be like in tarkov if you took your best load out in that's what they did they got their full body armor i think they might have leg armor helmets and machine guns and they robbed this bank and the cops have pistols and shotguns and these and these guys are cutting cars in half practically with machine gun fire bullet you know the' bullets are bouncing off of them. The cops have to go to a gun store and get AR-15s so that they can fight these guys. And then the cops kind of go hard in the paint. They roll up on them in a drive-by type thing with cops popping out the side with machine guns and fuck up one of them.

The other guy, it's hard to tell what happened. You could see it both ways, and i don't know which is true it seemed like his one of his hands had been shot and so was partially crippled and he was trying to clear a malfunction with his um with his handgun because he was down to his pistol at this point and in doing so he was trying to push the gun against his body to cycle the um to cycle the gun right because he doesn't have the use of the other hand and he shoots himself in the head in that moment it's either what i said or he was just shooting himself in the head and it looks like the other thing but one way or the other he he shoots himself um it was crazy did he die no no he's still alive well i didn't know if

it was one of those like blow your jaw off and spend the rest of your life looking at your brain and now he's on a podcast and that man was Woody's gamer time now he's in little amount of deaths in that

situation like like almost no one died almost other than him really the two the two shooters died i don't remember if any cops and they sucked at whatever they're trying to do i think they only got hurt i don't remember it was their first time yeah i some cops got shot but i don't think the cops died um but yeah it's wild because there's helicopter footage of it all you know and they're walking down the street like switching targets. What did they wear on their heads?

What is the Tarkov mask that ruined your hearing? I don't remember what they had on their heads. In Tarkov, it's... It's Alton. Alton and RL is not something that stops

rifle rounds as far as I know. I think I've seen them tested. It's a ridiculously heavy thing that you're putting on your head too. It's heavier than a motorcycle helmet or something. I saw an Israeli take a round off his Kevlar this week.

He's standing and it gets shot full on in the head and he goes and he's just what the fuck and like steps back into cover dude I watched a video on how to stay alive in war and the guy was an American soldier and I clicked

on it like okay let's hear your stories of how great you are but it was pretty good actually and he talked about things that are probably basic to soldiers like staying spread out and what the body armor that you can wear he has a preference for the pelvis body armor he thinks it's worth carrying and he said the kevlar's the helmet they don't stop bullets he's like you might get lucky with a ricochet uh grenade fragments but rifle bullets will go right through it oh it's in the range. Depends on the range, I would say.

And maybe the angle. Yeah, of course. If you just glance the side, it'll do it. But I've seen a bunch of them eat rounds in videos. Especially when we were going into Fallujah and stuff and there's some asshole with his head out the top of the car on that.50 cal and he's just up there. That guy gets

shot in the head a lot. That's a dangerous job. I'd want two helmets. That's got to be the worst fucking job, right? You stuck out the top of this piece of shit. You're the only guy not wrapped up in armor and steel. You're just up there with a helmet on. I don't even know what's

safe. Nothing's safe, but I don't want to be him. He does seem like he's a magnet for bullet shots, but what about the IED? Is he a little bit safer, a little on top of the car, or less safe? He's all exposed. I want to be in that thing, I think. I guess. That's how you make a bomb, though, right?

A little pressure and... I don't know. It's not safe. I just know I don't want to be him just know i don't want to be him i definitely don't want to be him sounds like both suck yeah nah war is cool man good way to get shot i've been watching it's it's pretty easy you know i don't understand i'll see the guy he's all pinned down it's like dude give me give me the controller. If I've been there on... That's my favorite Marky Mark quote. Have you heard him talking about 9-11?

Mark Wahlberg's like, if I'd been on that plane, it wouldn't have gone down like that. That's what I'm telling you right now. It wouldn't have gone down like that. I love that. Do you see that meme I sent you a few days ago where he's like AI'd as that Roman centurion. He's like, if I was there and they were trying to put Jesus up on that cross, I tell you a few days ago where he's like, like AI does that Roman centurion. He's like,

if I was there and they were trying to put Jesus up on that cross, I tell you, things would have gone down differently. You guys like seeing him on like Instagram, like his, like the reels he posts where it's like, he wakes up at 4am every morning. I don't believe it.

Owns like a clothing brand. Like from head to toe, it's his brand. And he he's like we have the municipal socks the we get the shorts we got the shirt get the hat municipal drip i'm like who buys this yeah fans who's the market so far i've only sold it to my brothers but i'm not at all convinced the whole like grifter class that says they survive on two to four hours a day of sleep are telling the truth. But he posts like you can see him on their live, you know, at four in the morning when he's like, oh, he's a rise and shine motherfucker. He probably goes to bed at like eight.

Daily? I think he just goes to bed at like seven. Yeah, I bet he's just like asleep at seven or eight. First of all, like you said, I want to know when he goes to bed. And two, I want to know like, dude, I could get up at 4 4 a.m tomorrow and make a post and lie like i do it all the time yeah but you gotta do what he does on on his post he's doing like crazy calisthenics he's doing insane shit he's like i'm in ice like you see that white house chef you know the one yeah that guy's full of shit okay that's clearly full of shit that guy's

roided up yeah zach can you show us a picture of the really uh strong white house chef he says he describes himself like a Vulcan. He's like, yeah, so I'm basically nothing but lean mass. I sleep two hours a day. I never work out, and I eat nothing but palm grass. And I compulsively tell the truth. And I can't tell a lie. It's perfect.

Vulcan. Where do you see this guy's picture? Doesn't do steroids. Zach will find it. See if you can, see if you, the viewer, those of you who aren't just listening, see if you can spot the problem here. I think there's this whole

grifter, I don't know, fitness model type guy who claims that they get up at 4 a.m., that they have extreme accountability, everything I do is great. And it just reeks of bullshit to me. You calling this man out? You calling out chef rush not to his face are you saying you want to throw down

with chef rush yes i will i will no no over the internet i'd rather do it but he challenges him to a swim race i challenge him to a twitter debate That guy's got no fat for buoyancy. Almost. Yeah, that'd be his problem. The lean, yeah. So, Chris, any other absurd shows we should be watching with the express purpose to laugh at? Milf Manor Season 2 is out now.

Milf Manor? It was so successful they went for for season two i think we talked about where's that streaming motherless.com uh hbo max fubu um fubo i don't know um but like it's tlc and it's basically season one was a group of moms. And they're like, yeah, we're going to date some hot young guys. And then they found out it was their sons. They're all dating each other's sons. They're like, okay, that's cool. And then season two, I was at the gym and I saw on the TV,

they were like, season two, the twist is even twistier. And I'm like, how? And turns out... They're all trans. So there's all the moms, and then these young guys who are not related, and then at the end, their dads show up, the guys.

And they're all mixed in. So the fathers are competing with the sons in this incestuous war. But the dads are gay. For milf manner. The fathers are competing with the sons in this incestuous war. But the dads are gay. For milf manner. The fathers are competing with the milfs to fuck the sons.

And they're like, it wasn't so funny because Steven's son, I'm glad And there's one like, I made a joke. I always do this where I make a joke and then like I let it play out for like five seconds and then it's made reality where um there's a dad and i'm like what if like one of these like sons and dads like are on bad terms or like haven't seen each

other for a while and then that literally happened this guy's like i haven't talked to my dad for three years and i'm like what a fucking awful way handle this yeah doing this show so the host is like don't you think you can reconcile with your father over this show and he's like there's no i mean he molested me so many times 20 years ago his hand is on my thigh right now he's like how you doing son gives him a kiss on the cheek I thought we'd three way with this milf I didn't know he wanted me again you come to me you say you want a father

figure I try to be that for you not like this dad they're naked they're both hard like just something called milfor says a little bit about western society i feel i i it can't be a good thing it can't be a thing yeah the learning channel learning channel yeah oh my god when i was a kid it was surgeries on there you learned how to like do a do like a transplant or i saw a guy get um what's the thing where you not fertile anymore um infertility castration the surgery vasectomy vasectomy i watched a vasectomy when i was like

12 on there they're like using that endoscopic camera so they're like in his ball sack cutting his shit up it was cool as fuck now it's milf manor how dare they call themselves the learning channel how dare they they had i saw this clip of my my monstrous sisters or like uh 1200 pound sisters something like that it's like two enormous gals i know and yeah there's a clip of them i saw on twitter where one of the less enormous one still huge is like sitting there in their dirty house being like and they're the people on she's like crying and you're like oh this is sad and she's like and i try to take care of the house and make it look nice and then there was people saw a bug and now people are tweeting at me and sending message mean

messages at me saying there's bugs and messages at me saying there's bugs in emails in me saying there's bugs in my house and i don't like it and it hurts my feelings as this is happening a roach crawls up the wall behind her and like they keep that scene in this this the psychopath filming that is like yes yes dude you know they they fucking released that road to the woman's house like i got underneath it with a straw i went up the wall fella up the wall there's no way the timing can be that awful for her i need to find oh that's so embarrassing i've seen a couple of twitch streamers have that happen where a bug will crawl over them even like on their body yeah oh i saw

that one clip you sent of uh asmongold one of the huge streamers had a roach on him he's cleaned up quite a bit i saw him on a thing recently like talking about his dirty room i think he's guys that's the one the the blood on the wall? Oh, yeah. Yes, I haven't seen that part of the lore, but apparently his mouth was just bleeding all the time because he wasn't brushing his teeth or something, and he would wipe the blood on his walls. Oh, yeah, he'd press on his gums.

He was like, have a, you know, swish some water around your mouth. Salt water, maybe. Why add it to the walls? You're a big bitch. It's like have a you know, switch some water around your mouth like some salt water. Maybe why add it to the walls with a big bitch. Oh, no. Oh, boy, and that I want my baby back. That bug thinks it's at

base camp. Oh, it's on her fucking huge hippo fire. I didn't see it at first. Wow. God, I don't know if I have the flexibility to lay with my knees flat and her hips have imploded oh what a what a laid out like come on like would taylor would you swap bodies with this woman for five million dollars how long do i have to stay For the rest of your fucking life. Yeah, you need to fix it.

No. It's a fixer-upper, Taylor. No, there's no one. If you could somehow, if I could go without getting murdered and you gave me every dollar and every currency that existed. Really? I would not switch bodies with that person. 25 million?

Like, we could get you sorted. Make 25 billion. Make me Elon Musk money. No. If Elon Musk was worth $25 billion. Make me Elon Musk money. No. If Elon Musk was worth $25 billion, he'd jump out a window. He'd be like, this is awful. Give me $250 billion. Because what am I going to do with all my money?

Just sit there splayed out like an obese baby? You're going to start working on what you look like. Yeah, you're going to work on your mobility. You're going to get in shape. You're going to become an Instagram hottie. That shirtless photo of him recently? Actually is elon musk fit no no when you say instantly is it like a year and a half old no like last six months i have not there's a very distinct one i saw him very pale and oddly shaped on his yacht one time yes that's the one i know there's been a few but then

again he was on his yacht with a beautiful woman if i remember correctly jumping into some icelandic lake purer than any water you've ever drunk ugly old man could steal any of our girlfriends so there's maybe he is he is kind of right wing you know that i feel like that's uh that's gonna bring him down in the dating pool these days. I think women will really care. Don't you, Taylor? I don't think so. My favorite moment on one of those dating panel podcasts,

like Man Right Shows, whatever you want to call them, they ask this whole panel of beautiful young women, like Donald Trump as he is, or Brad pitt but he works at burger king you have to marry them every one of them wanted donald trump yeah it was it was beautiful the billionaire yeah that's a short-term investment too right like if i married donald trump today how long would we stay married five years for the rest of his life yeah surprisingly that's what i'm getting like he's five years for the rest of his life yeah surprisingly that's what i'm getting like he's they're all sticking around all those like old politicians like he's not going anywhere he's the fattest he's the fattest president we've had in a hundred years i don't even know no we had some real big fatties uh obama was terrible he was so fat yeah fat. I forgot about him.

That was all CGI green screen. Disney was making him look that way. You think he's a thin man? I don't think Bush was that fat. Clinton was fat. No, not compared to Trump. Yeah, probably not as fat as Trump. Clinton was actively running all the time. He was also like 30 years younger.

This was like 30 years ago Trump Jr.'s age That one's were like pre- He's still not as fat as Trump Carter's still alive That's wild He doesn't look alive Yeah he doesn't look alive

He doesn't look lively I would love to see him throw his hat in the ring Carter To be president again One more time I would love to see him throw his hat in the ring Carter To be president again One more time See him in the debates getting wheeled out there Then He's the only one who didn't say anything stupid

My vote's for Carter Reagan was not fat Movie star Nixon was a little pudgy Trump is smoking everyone in fatness For a long time He's 50-60 pounds overweight at least Trump's definitely the fattest president in a long time

Maybe it was Buchanan or somebody That fellow who got stuck in the tub He had a president so taft He had to go back then Most of them have been Grover Cleveland he was a big fat fatty Teddy Roosevelt was fat It's like pre like atomic bomb i know none of these presidents are in color except trump yeah and then you get way back actually i don't that was a dark period where

we had a couple of really morbidly obese presidents there was like a peak there was grover cleveland people couldn't be that. They didn't have to go on camera. They just had to show up on the back of a train occasionally and give a speech. Although it's from before then. It's really the Nixon-JFK thing that made what presidents look like important. That makeup scandal thing with the first debates. Yeah. One of them looked like JFK and the other one looked like Nixon.

If people don't know, people who listened to that debate on the radio thought Nixon won. But people who watched it on TV thought JFK won because he was better looking. Yeah, William Howard Taft. This wasn't sick. The all-time leader in presidential BMI at 46.8. I wonder what they used as Trump's height and weight because that's a tough number to get some truth out of I'll see what rank Trump would he guess

all time fat residents I mean Zach wrote it in the chat so okay well you're right it's fourth nailed it yeah Taft 46.8 BMI making Grover Cleveland look svelte at 38.4.

Teddy Roosevelt, 34. Trump, 33.6. Chester A. Arthur. Who the fuck's this guy? Some fat idiot. John Quincy Adams. Ooh, and that must have been bad because John Quincy Adams, I think he was a teeny little fella, right? Rotund.

That was before you could go see the president on TV or something because we were still electing short people, and we don't fuck with that anymore. Okay, okay. Apparently Washington was a giant. You know, Washington's like 6'2", 6'3", or something and would have towered over the average man by like six or eight inches easily.

I choose to believe Washington was very fit. He had to have been, right? Must have been in his day. I mean, he lived in the woods and marshes a lot. It was a general. That Shane Gillis bit about him. Oh, where he's a lunatic?

Yeah. That's a funny bit. Dude, have you seen those teeth? They're in a museum. How can we be sure there is what what kind of question is that why do you always question the facts of the universe you're like mac asking if i went through the fucking documents about global warming or god or something like have you poured through the documents the studies i know because they're

like at the smithsonian or the george washington one or the other. It's something like that. As soon as I ask that, I'm like, why did I ask that? How do you know? I don't. Because they say so, and they have no reason to make it up. They're donkey and slave teeth. Yeah, there's slave teeth in there. Are they not all just wood?

No. It's a mixture. Worse than wood. Well, that well that is worse slave and donkey teeth yeah slave yeah you know what i read today i'm not sure i didn't read the whole article so i may get some of it wrong but the original pinocchio was based i think maybe on a puppeteer whose puppet used slave skin and hair like like and it would come and the you know the tale was that this puppet would come back to life and haunt him or something the original pinocchio is even worse than the original there's

no way that's true that's too ghastly and i want the scariest thing about the pinocchio lore to be the the donkey yeah on that island i hated that i would like sometimes go like get a glass of milk little seven-year-old me and then come back at the end of that scene. On drugs, that would be disturbing today, frankly. It gets pretty wild. They're dancing around the fire, and he's talking about how he turns little boys into donkeys or whatever. It's pretty gruesome.

Then he ends up in the belly of that whale. That was a very... Zach, did they skin slaves' faces and plop them on little pupp little who little puppets oh yeah they sure did look at that look at that doesn't look like geppetto was actually a slave master and he made his puppets from slave skin and hair pinocchio was actually was actually a possessed doll made from slave skin and hair and he was actually seen walking around without geppetto and no one knows where the puppet is today and there's a there's a photo here of the puppet on the original real geppetto who was an actual historical figure clearly and it does not look doctored or comical at all what the fuck is that bring that back up

what the fuck is that little face in the bottom left did you see that open that up yeah i like you better no not that the other one you know was that a little face it looked like a shrunken head the bottom left of the image did you not notice that i didn't see it no i was i was staring at the puppet scroll down one yeah what the fuck Scroll down one. What is that? Is it Beetlejuice? What is that? Where are you seeing a shrunken head? See the bottom left underneath

the puppet? It looks like Kanye's being beamed to the Enterprise and we caught him halfway between dematerializing or something. It looks like that Black Pack member. Man, I like the original so much better look at that gentleman on the right he looks trustworthy jesus that guy was invisible to me i'm looking for so long so it's it's they're talking about the black and white picture just above the word

green screen is it what the fuck that's such an odd thing to do that's just watermark that would be the funniest watermark like yourself looking sleepy and out of it badly photoshopped in Geppetto was a good man in fact and fiction and he would never use slave parts his name is Geppetto

isn't that German? Italian Ge-what? Geppetto it works yeah Geppetto Hans see that doesn't work Japan. Japan. It works, yeah. Yeah, you can't do that with like... Hans. See, it doesn't work. You need that sing-songy Italian thing. Man, the Italians

just scooting on past World War II. No one mad. Right? Yes, they changed sides. Yeah, they're good guys. Yeah, dude, honestly, they should thank Japan. Because think about all the goodwill change sides yeah at the end guys yeah dude honestly they need they should thank japan because think about about all the goodwill japan gave italy through mario and luigi

you know that's fucking true i don't know why they didn't think about that why didn't they make mario a samurai what the what were they doing they wanted like a fun jovial plumber italian even in their mind in japan they're, he must be a jovial and fun. He cannot be one of us. Who are those usurious allies in the war? They always are so funny. Usurious allies? Usurious allies.

Yeah, they were pretty awful at everything in the war. They immediately lost. And then they scooped Mussolini up and did him dirty like there's pictures of mussolini he's like hung from piano wire or something his face is all shot off and he's been like everybody in the village has taken a turn doing something awful to mussolini dude the mom like shit out of there's never been a more for sure bad guy headquarters than Mussolini's. Like, I guarantee Hitler would show up and he'd be like, ah, little heavy handed, you know.

Have you seen the Weichstag? It's very nice. Everyone agrees. Did you see my place? It's kind of like a normal looking palace. The eagle's nest. Look, wonderful. Did you notice the big, giant, scary face I put on my headquarters?

No, it's because I didn't put ones in. No, no, no, no. Show me the one that says like, C, C, C, C, with a big, terrifying Zardoz face on the front of the building. Zardoz is going to go right over everyone's head. No idea what you're talking about there. I was thinking more of that guy's name from Legends of the Hidden Temple.

That's the same thing. Yes. Yes. Really? Yeah. Solid show. Yeah, Zach, bring that one up. Yes. There we go. There we go. Now, just for fun, show me Zardoz. Z-A-R-D-O-Z. Hmm. Is this even their headquarters? Is this a different building?

I mean... That thing in the left is really phallic, right? That's clearly just a cafe. There's the Hidden Temple, which for those who don't know was a show where children entered a video game by some means and competed for

viewers' pleasure. The Silver Snakes. I was a Silver Snake guy. entered a video game by some some means and competed for uh viewers pleasure the silver snakes when i that was my i was a silver snake guy yeah ah and there's zardoz see the face there background that's also uh sean connery wearing a mankini like borat he looks good in it i can tell it's him now he gets a lot of pussy in this he fills that thing out it's like post-apocalyptic and there's like the advanced race living in this secret bubble and like all the men are like breeders they're all out there like savages living this crazy wildlife and uh that that head comes forward and just vomits weapons to them so that they just continually kill and fight always there's a lot going on

in that movie when you're you know when you're watching your shows chris it's your job and so is part of you like you're like out doing errands and then you get home and like your girlfriend or wife or whatever is like hey let's hang out and take it easy tonight and you're like i have to watch milf manor you know how it is what do you think pays the bills around here not your for fun job studying to be a vet someday you know it's today it's me making fun of these whores no yeah i uh it's it's work i don't watch these shows like recreationally like uh um usually i'll just like i'll watch it write my jokes like with the google like voice chat and uh write a script and bust it out but i do not watch these recreationally i just watch camping videos that's like that's all i watch

what kind of camping outdoor boys uh mav um zander don't know his last name what do they do in a camping video yeah what do you think they can't i mean i'm sure they're out camping like your review that you enjoy or is it no it's just like it's kind of like asmr kind of thing where it's like they're just like filming their entire camp out and like cooking and everything like that is it like a sometimes i watch this competence porn have you heard of that just people i watch woodworkers for example who are just amazing at their craft uh four eyes woodworking four-eye studio something like that is one of my favorites he's a jewish carpenter you might like him and i got and uh it's just neat to see them design stuff and put it together and make a reality

out of it um primitive technology to get like a kind of competence porn where you're like oh shit what's he gonna do next where's this headed saves these guys are good at videos too which is good like they're good at both which is rare with like being good at anything and like making content around it but yeah yeah do they have to be modern camping for you to be into it or do you fuck with like primitive technology too because i love that guy's channel luke the guy that uh does outdoor boys he like does like survival and camping like he does both so he does both types of videos but yeah well you kind of like some of the shows you watch because

i saw you reviewing or not reviewing kind of poking fun at doomsday preppers that's kind of a form of survival i mean i like most shows i watch like to a certain extent like it's fun watching them do you have like your your shows or you're always on the lookout for something else that'll be fun to make fun of i just re-watch like old shows like office breaking bad like stuff like that like i don't watch a lot of new stuff but um but there are some shows that i watch like i think i've mentioned before like mountain monsters like airplane repo these insane fucking shows that are actually like so fun to watch but i was watching the brit the english

british version of cops for a while no no it was and then uh and then one where they did repos and i came to this conclusion that man things are just so low-key over there. The consequences are so much lower than they are on the streets in my country. It just seems like the worst thing that could happen is someone could get a bloody nose over there. Nobody's got a gun. They heard what they thought was a gunshot,

and everybody ran the fuck away, cops included. They called in special forces. Was it just an acorn? It was something like that. It was a car backfiring or something. Or it was, you know, because someone didn't want their cars repoed, so they were trying to scare off the cops. And they succeeded. It just seems

very low consequence over there. Whereas... They also always never want their car repoed. We have gun battles in our streets on like a fairly regular basis yeah i mean not that there'll be one in your neighborhood but there'll be one every day in your country oh yeah every night you can go on tv and watch two or three gunfights you don't think that was insane it was oh sorry mine wasn't i think i was gonna change topics a little let's do yours um i watched a wife swap uk recently that was fucked up this guy was like borderline abusive and also i forget

that like over there they don't censor this guy's like you shut the fuck up get the fuck out of my face i'm like i got wow what was he doing just verbally abusive? He wasn't even getting handsy? Yeah, this guy, he was close. Yeah, when I hear wife swap, I'm expecting something saucy. No, that's how they bait you in. Nobody's getting fucked. Except for the kids who have to live through this shit.

Jane and Stephen have four children who are desperate for someone to look up to so their parents signed up for a tlc reality show where their entire lives will be aired out for a bunch of miscreants and retards to make fun of i got a message from uh one of the babies that was on an episode i covered she was like hey i was actually on the episode i'm like like, oh. How horrible for you. How's life been since then? Oh, well, dad killed himself.

And he took mom with him. He took mom with him. And I'm stuck in this damn chair because the good Lord didn't take me to the bottom of that lake with him. But he did take my legs the one messenger got recently that was actually like i think is gonna be good is um the guy from um

a thousand ways to die that i did the video on where he was the self-proclaimed chubby chaser like that was his fucking lower third he was like hey i was the chubby chaser on that episode do you want to talk i'm like yes please i would love nothing more you'd never ask so i'm gonna try most about them i like when they're fat i didn't know that was gonna be my lower third sweaty yeah exactly they did they do some people dirty with that chiron under their name where it'll be like edgar resident pervert and they're talking about like pornography or something piece of shit yeah okay deadbeat dad yeah i never really watch shows like that anymore did you see they're gonna go for a new show gun or

at least they're talking about it i did he signed on It's done. I don't know where the story will go from there, but I'll watch it and everything, but I have no faith in what's coming. It'll be more of the same. Amazingly well done people talking in rooms, and a sword fight, and a titty per episode, and that's a pretty good show. It's just not the home run that I was looking for.

Give me a Battle of the Bastards at the end of that thing i want to see cannons from the ships coming in as the as the deus ex machina i want i want fucking um like like cavalry out of nowhere i want i want sword fights i want the old guy to have to pull off some yoda shit where he like puts down his cane and he's really good with the sword even though he's 60 like i want i didn't want the hot chick to die obviously i want her out there with her spear too i want her back yeah and i and i want the white guy to have so many pistols so many pistols on his body that he doesn't need and he's just walking through the samurai i want a j i want a uh i wanted a a moment that was that would be like indiana jones where the baddest samurai the one that's been built up this whole time,

gets his big fucking sword out and swings it around, and then our homeboy just blows him away with one of them black powder pistols. And we got none of that shit. It's not as greenlit as you said it was, though. That guy, Sonata, he signed on. It's called an if-come deal,

meaning, will you do it if we ask you to? And he said yes. They haven't written the stories. So FX, the network that's making it needs to see the creative, which I assume means the script or some storyboards and then give it the thumbs up to decide to green light it. So that's where we are now waiting for the creative. There are more books in that series, but they don't involve him as far as I know, because he dies like. A few years later, I don't know how many years it is. I think he died in 1613 or something like that. I watch it.

I loved the show up until that last episode that just felt like such a goddamn letdown that there wasn't a fight at all. And, you know, it did that thing where you were like, oh my god, time's running out. We're running out of time here. They don't have enough time for a battle and then the after scene of the battle and then the scene after that, which is what you need to close the show out, at least. Alright, the battle happens.

Everybody's healing up. We say some cool shit to the people who survived. And then we say, alright, you know what? The ship is yours, white guy. Take your ship and your crack crew and do as you will and he looks at the camera like the dutch are fucked and like you see the dutch fucking like religious guy like run away cower and like oh cool that's the show i'd watch i'd want to watch the white guy go on take his black ship and and go fuck with the whole thing led up to the big battle at the end and when there was no big battle at the end all the lead-up episodes got worse blue balls like i i don't i i was i was and i don't see anyone else upset so maybe we just don't get it

i loved all of the top i loved all that show i felt like it was so well done i had no complaints there was nothing for me to complain about even the cgi was okay but jesus it's like a different kind of oceans 11 where every character is so clever they've thought of every alternative they have this all mapped out and sure enough the bad guys are doing just what we expected them to do it seemed like they had a twist but really we had a contingency plan for that and uh then at the end there was no robbery yeah i i felt really let down by that i i'm so disappointed you know i remember looking my girlfriend just being like what that's it and she goes what huh you've been looking at her phone i'm like the show's over no yeah well they didn't do a word the whole thing.

What was this about? I don't know what it was about. I have no idea anymore. My wife was like, that was a Kyle pick. Mark that one down. It's a miss. Okay. Oh, something you will like.

I don't know if you have access to it. If you have Paramount, maybe. They're called Trek shorts. And it's kind of like Black Mirror, but for Star Trek. So some of them involve the the crew from strange new worlds maybe three out of eight but the rest of them are like one of them's like animated and um like tells the story of a tardigrade that lays its eggs in the enterprise and the security system is trying to kick it out it's like a cute pixar thing um but the rest of them are quite good there's one With Rainn Wilson that he's the guy that's

Dwight from The Office Yeah Dwight's I think it's Harry Mudd. He's this character from The TNG the original series Who's like this master con man Or whatever and the whole thing is Is him pulling this huge con on Some bounty hunters and stuff and it was really good

Trek shorts I think it's Pretty sure it's what it was called. I had never it's on flex i'm about to cancel my paramount plus i tried to watch it recently it has a show i wanted to see and it had like three minutes of ads at the start of the show oh it's like fuck like i pay for this i'm a paid subscriber and you're trying to blast me with ads yeah i think i've noticed it has some for like their stuff like like they're advertising paramount plus shows i guess and then i wasn't i don't know if you're getting like clorox or coca-cola ads or something like that remember yeah but yeah i don't like that either like and plus people have to know how much an ad is worth right like an ad on youtube is worth about two tenths of a cent right or like two thousandths of a dollar so to

hit me with three ads and you guys like this is less than a penny when i'm already paying you like 14 oh fuck off you know you you just got another like you hit me with 10 more ads and you'll get two pennies out of me and i already pay 14 for this shit like i can't understand how frustrated i am by this i either don't get ads on my version or they're i think they're just ads for like other paramount programming which does it right hbo shows you an ad for something they'd like you to see with a skip button over it and sometimes i'm like oh actually this could be my next show okay and uh and other times i skip it because this one's not going to be for me which is i can deal with that i watched a tom hanks world war ii movie

last night called greyhounds apple tv made it and it was nominated for some academy awards so i wanted to see it and it was okay i guess guess. It tells the story of Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks is the captain of a battleship that's doing Overwatch on this big fleet of ships that's sailing from the United States to England during World War II. They're being hunted by German U-boats. The U-boat guy is like coming over the radio like taunting them i am the gray wolf the gray wolf will feed on you tonight i hear your

friends scream as their boats sink and he's sinking their boats one by one and uh it's it's pretty good but i guess it it felt small for what it was. I noticed that we don't get to see a lot of the captain walking around the ship. We're just kind of in the bridge on the battleship a lot, and then the rest of it is mostly CGI shit happening in the water. That part I didn't love. I watched the tom hanks thing with the pilots recently and oh my god every episode people are like none of the

bomb runs everyone smoothly people couldn't even drive from or fly from one airport to the next without getting lost and accidentally going over france or germany or something and every time they land the winds were like 80 miles an hour and it was hard to put it down there was always a catastrophe around every corner and i'm like this just feels lame to me my thing was historical like like you know the number there's like multiple u-boats reported sank and you know multiple u.s and british mercantile and other shit. The taunting? Is that real? The what? The taunting? Oh, I don't know about that part. I didn't search it.

But I liked it. I thought it was pretty good. On the surface, when you describe it, it's like, yeah, it's a World War II movie where Tom Hanks is the captain of a battleship fighting U-boats at sea. You're like, oh my god, this sounds like a new Saving Private Ryan, huh?

No. No. Now they took care of a YouTube budget on spin on a Tom Hanks movie. It's an Apple Plus show. I think they're the best in the game at making new programming that's high quality. And I really like Silo.

I'm looking for more of silo i love that show a lot um and there's a bunch of shows on there i'm struggling yeah isn't that the one that watched a few at the end yeah it didn't end it it like you know they got to the end of the first season and then it's like oh what's coming next and it was a good ending it was a cliff are you thinking of shogun tay Taylor? No. The Japanese one? I'm thinking of Fromm. Fromm's coming too. Fromm season 3 coming up in a month or two or something.

I'm not watching that. I don't blame you. I'm going to watch Jake Paul fight with the boys. That's the next thing I'm big looking forward to. When is that? July. Doesn't Connor fight before then? Connor might fight before then? Oh. Conor might fight before then.

I want to see Conor fight too. But that Mike Tyson fight. July 20th is the Jake Paul fight. Yeah, that's going to be big business. I bet it's going to be. I said it before. It'll be the most watched boxing match, maybe most watched fight of all time,

streaming free on Netflix. Like, Jesus, everybody's going to watch that thing mike tyson's such a pop culture icon and so is jake paul like they they have a huge audience they're going to pull with the curiosity factor and it's i don't even know who's the a side i don't either um as far as like internet pull or uh or like like uh pay-per-view pull yeah yeah yeah well there's no pay-per-view pull, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, there's no pay-per-view though. So that's what's so cool about it, that it's free on Netflix.

That's why it's going to be monumentally big. And it's going to be big business for both of them. And man, if they could have a strong fight, like a good competitive fight back and forth, a slugfest, and it's like a draw, then we just double our money. Did you see the gloves? I did not. They're big. I think they're 14-ounce gloves. 16-ounce gloves are training gloves. That's what you'd spar with.

A common fighting size would be 8 or 10. 14 seems done to prevent knockouts. We'll see. seems done to prevent knockouts we'll see yeah i you know i i want to see i want i want to see mike tyson you know do that thing that rocky balboa shit but i think what's most likely is that jake paul is gonna fuck him up i just don't see it going any other way yeah i mean you definitely could be right i every time i watch tyson he looks amazing and i am routinely fooled by boxing hype. This is the year of Jake Paul and Donald Trump.

They're going to be big winners. You think they're going to collab? I hope so. He does need a VP. I think Jake Paul takes him. I think Trump's too old. I think definitely. If he can get through Tyson,

he has a good shot against any of our elected officials. Mm-hmm. What about that one guy with robo-legs though? Those are titanium. No, he killed someone and he's in South Africa prison. Robo-legs? Yeah, the guy, you know, he has no legs. He wore shorts the other day on the floor.

You know, he had the robo-legs. Wait, what? Are you... We have a guy with blade-legs in our Congress? Not blade-legs, more like robo legs wait what are you we have a guy with blade legs in our commerce blade legs more like robo legs they're like titanium shin bones that go down to titanium feet that attach to like his nubs stubs how have i not seen this dude i don't know he's kind of a beast i know i know one-eyed guy yeah different guy yeah that's a different guy he's got like this guy's got both eyes this guy's got but wow yeah can't sneak up on him no can you would you rather have a missing eye or missing both legs no one like fuck oh i'll lose the leg i think i'm gonna go like

my brother doesn't like he can't see it of his left eye and i he seems fine can he drive he never knew did he used to have an eye no he was born he doesn't know what he's missing of course he's fine he could be born without a face and he'd be cool as long as a license okay yeah i remember when i lost access to my eye for a few days i had to wear this goddamn eye patch after all the surgery and it was so hard to like watch tv and not feel like it was a weird depth perception thing to drive was like constantly like getting my good eye around every blind spot like turn around all the way yes what's so fucking funny is like the eye doctor like when he was a kid he was like maybe we put the patch on the good eye and it'll kind of train the bad eye he just couldn't see for a long time it was a real dr mengela he was dealing with yeah

perhaps if we drill a hole in his brain running into like trying to be silly he's like yes i'm your eye doctor but for everyone else i'm their eyes doctor yes he's all right he's all right he's the guy he well no a different Yes. He's alright. Did I find Brian? He's the guy? No, a different guy with robo legs. Of course that's him. He's got robo legs. He has blades too. I've never seen blades.

I'm watching a gif of him running. What a beast. You saw him navigate stairs. Isn't that the guy that showed up? He's hanging on everyone around him. Isn't he the guy who showed up with his Israeli Defense Force uniform on? I don't know.

Is that where he lost him? No. No, it wasn't. I don't know. It's just so interesting knowing that you can pick your shoe sizes. You can decide, you know what? I look better with this size.

That is not how tall he was. That is not how tall he naturally was. You know he was like 6'3". Oh, yeah. He picked his height. Yeah. 100%. And he's earned that right.

Hoorah. I suppose he has. He's earned it. Freedom don't come free. But he should have two purple hearts. I'm going to say that right now. I bet. When I see the no leg

people, I'm always like, how bad does it get the further up the thigh? I hope it's a smooth stomp up there. I hope it's a nice, smooth good stomp. You know what? I would have opted for bigger calves. You can have any calf you want. No, I

wouldn't be caught dead with regular legs. I'd have enormous blade legs. I'd be 7'1". People would gawk and I'd tell myself it was here. Like those African tribesmen who avoid the venomous snakes with their stilts?

Yes. Is that what they do? Yeah. They all walk around with these creepy stilts to avoid the poisonous snakes kyle this is your guy brian mass gop congressman says dead palestinian babies are not that innocent he just like he's just asking questions in the words of britney spears bye-bye-bye. Baby. Palestinian babies are not innocent civilians. They are terrorists

who should be killed. Is that a quote from him? The thing is, it doesn't have a quote, Marks. The terrorists does. Let me see if I can find it. I can't find it. If it was a quote, they would have thrown those quotes on there because that's a brutal one these babies don't get me started on these babies sick fucking all right all right

it's a back and forth it goes like this when asked if you've seen the images of palestinian babies killed in the attacks mass says these are not innocent palestinian civilians the babies they asked in astonishment half a million people starving to death have elected a pro-israeli government when one protester points out how much of gaza's infrastructure has been destroyed mass says and there's more infrastructure that needs to be destroyed do you not hear me there's more that needs to be destroyed he says again for emphasis um king this guy loves this guy can't get enough war he loves it yeah this guy context is really helping i just think i mean differently if it happened to us and the mexicans had come over and killed all the people and they

committed the biggest mass shooting of all time in dallas yeah if things were different they'd be different but they're this well i'm just trying to get into those israeli shoes those sneaky sneaky israeli shoes is that is he really is that his is that why he's so uh no he's just a red-blooded god-loving american who knows that that's the promised land and that those rascally rabbits came over and raped and he puts on his pants the same way everyone else very slowly and kills a lot of people because of the legs because of his legs yeah he wears those shorts um which i feel like it's cool i get up in the middle of the night and i hop to the bathroom to pee like those legs are like those legs are either 20 grand each or 40 grand each something like that they're like super expensive wow did a fucking lockheed martin make them

they're made of titanium oh you know what i would want i would want my legs and strong i would want it doesn't rust i'd want like titanium legs like kind of my show legs but also like my day-to-day legs i think i'd like want something unbelievably heavy like tungsten wouldn't like like mahogany no tungsten and they're so heavy that like the rest of my body becomes powerful oh what these my lead legs yeah my not lead that's a little gauche tungsten gold we've we've talked about tungsten being the coolest of the metals no not gold woody that's not practical all right it's very heavy he's trying to be strong like tungsten. We've talked about tungsten being the coolest of the metals. No, not gold, Woody. That's not practical.

It's very heavy. He's trying to be practical like tungsten. Okay, you got it. A cube of tungsten that's like three by three inches. What about crystal? What about a solid crystal? Minor mercury and I made a huge mistake. Oh, I've got it. I've got a dinosaur fossil. The dinosaur

fossil of its leg you have dinosaur legs for your legs i mean they're not the same height you you're walking with dinosaurs nobody does it like you you're in the footsteps of a tyrannosaurus i like it just giant feet man i'm so jealous you don't get the dinosaur feet you just get the shin bones i'm out of here why would you need feet? Why would I not with my dinosaur legs? They're not. I'm going to put my fucking Nikes on on those. I don't think you realize how crucial feet are to the whole operation of walking.

It's the shin part that's the dinosaur. You just have to be part of it. I don't know. The blades work better. No, I get it. But like the dinosaur leg bones. Yeah. Well, they're not bones.

They're fossils. You know what's really cool? That's true. Having both your legs. It's pretty good. I was going to say, yeah. I like the biobetic stuff. I'd rather those.

They won't listen. They won't listen. They love those candies. They can't get enough. Can you imagine doctors like, hey, so we've had this conversation 600 times over the past decade and if you want to if you want to keep your foot you've got to lose weight and stop with the candy and he's like he's the guy in the fucking deal or no deal it's like no deal like just no no i'm gonna oh what's that? No, not for this guy. Not for all this guy. Where did you get those ho-hos?

Do you have them in the... That's a full-size baker's cupcake you have there. If you really wanted me to quit lollipops, you wouldn't have had them at the front desk. Those are meant for everyone, sir. He's got the whole barrel. He's got a holster with one of those big like turn of the century lollipops that a couple licks with the coin dispenser like he's ready for every vending

machine past his coin finger in the west snickers in my mouth oh yeah i love the idea of going to an arcade with the coin dispenser that's cool you know that guy games if you're gonna do that though you better be good you can't be go to arcades if i was good i wouldn't need this many quarters yeah that's true you guys have been to a cart like an arcade before but like recently but like it's just slots and like tickets basically it's like there's no like recently but like it's just slots and like tickets basically it's like there's no like fun games anymore it's all just like ticket-based games oh even as a kid like i didn't get roped into the ticket-based games at chucky cheese as much as a lot of the other kids because like all the good games wouldn't give tickets so like if

you wanted to play jurassic park in that moving seat like it's the best game far and away that they had but there were no tickets involved if you wanted tickets you had to do that horse shit where it's like slam on the button as soon as the light passes your little window of the two you know luminescent tubes hated that it's like everything you can win is like pretty lame or like under 20 bucks oh yeah it's all real life money it's all trash yeah there was like an n64 box at the top that was like the the golden hope and it was like an amount of tickets an amount of tickets like that like a fraudulent amount to demand of that.

Like, this is like, oh, if you get the jackpot here, you get 480 tickets right now. How much is the N64? Oh, it's 41 million tickets. It takes advantage of kids who don't know big numbers. Like, ooh, I have 100. That's got to be like a big portion of 20,000. No, it's not. But you can get this USBb3 cord and then like i also i would fall into the trap with my tickets like as a young kid at

chucky cheeser i'd be like all right we wasted all of our coins on the t-rex game again what can we afford well we can afford nothing good, but we can afford a lot of bad stuff. And so it'd be like, alright, 20 cloth rings and 15 rubber poppers. You remember those? Oh yeah, those are actually 20

Chinese finger straps, or finger traps. Super balls. Give me some super balls, some Chinese finger traps, some of the rubber poppers and then this plastic frog toy that you could flick the back of it and it would kind of hop mostly yeah some things you would flick it stuff and they'd yeah like the hand yeah we would say on the package it'd be like instantly gets disgusting. You won't believe it. It could pick up every germ that's ever been in that area.

Every germ at the arcade. Seriously get like the joystick in the toilet. I remember like swinging those, trying to like slap at friends. Like they'd have one too. And if you even made contact with someone, it rips off, breaks. I would always get them stuck to the ceiling in my parents' living room.

It was a really high vaulted ceiling and they'd be stuck up there forever. You just ruined it. Just thrust it on there. You flick it up there and then it would slip out of your hand or it would snap off and now it's just stuck up there forever. Dude, I was... Oh, sorry. and then it would like slip out of your hand or it would snap off and now it's just stuck up there forever dude i was even as a oh sorry oh no but i was gonna say even as a kid i was like anytime i won like a thing for like cashed in or whatever those places it was like the fun lasted like a day

like before you're just like i fucking hate this yeah thing and there was a different like as soon as you got home from like toys not toys are us from like chucky cheese all those toys that you had there like that you got with your tickets you'd immediately be like oh my regular toys are so much better than this bullshit like i'm gonna play with my regular toys i remember in like uh i guess i was 10 so that's like fifth grade our teacher didn't know what the hell she was doing like it's funny looking back and realizing like oh that was like a 22 year old girl who like had no idea what the fuck was going on in life just teaching us and there were these little like rubber eraser men i think everybody had though they were just eraser people tiny little eraser people and

they were in different colors and they were one of those bullshit gifts at least at my school there was like oh you got your like you did well on your spelling gift come to this little box and you can like take out a chinese finger trap or like some garbage and it was like these little eraser guys and there were a ton of them for some reason and so all the boys started collecting all these and then we used like we built little forts on our desk like battlements and they they the teacher at first encouraged it like as an exercise in creativity and she made a mistake because because ford and joe started like a cold war going where like it started out just like a small little fort like a little like looked like a cold war going where like it started out just like a small little fort, like a little, like it looked like a garage. And then the next day, now a third of the desk has taken up and there's three stories to it. And there's like tubes of cardboard sticking out like

guns. And then all the other boys were like, this is awesome. Like, this is so cool. We all should have. And so there was a period for like a couple couple weeks where every boy in the class had like an index card created base with different layers different levels like battlements you people would like cut like uh spires into the top like a citadel and then you could put your little eraser men on there and decide like who was going to win and whatnot and then if i recall joe the fire boy guy for many years later went went to kindergarten on, started like taking a rubber band and like putting a paper clip around it and then like firing them at other people's bases. And then some some kid, Nate, got hit in the eye and was like, oh, my eyes bleeding. And so then the teacher shut that down. And so then all the rest of us gave up,

but these other two were fighters. So they, and they were doing very poorly in all the subjects. And so they like basically got, they stopped even putting books in their desk. Cause they were the open kind with like the cavity in the middle. And they were building a little city in there. It could have been neat.

What grade was this? This was fifth grade. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I think you all, you and your friends, senior year,

severe undiagnosed ADHD. We all probably did, but like every kid has ADHD. That's just part of being a child. I'm supposed to sit there and listen about. I think, I think it's, I think,

I think it has something. I know when I take caffeine it can make me sleepy does that ever happen to you? never I think that my chemistry is a little bit different in the way that stimulants affect me and the way that

I think gay guys get perked up by caffeine oh them too well never mind then my mistake oh fuck probably owned myself fuck i feel into it too damn delete this part by his own patard oh we were talking about earlier the shane g show. That's what you got to review when it comes out. I'm excited to see that.

It's a sketch show, right? What is it? No, it's about a tire shop that he works in. It's like kind of mockumentary looking. Yeah, it's like a sitcom. When is it coming out? Soon-ish, like a month. It might be out around now.

That'd be cool. I don't remember exactly. I just saw some clips from it and it looked pretty funny um he's basically playing himself um you know and working in a tire shop with other degenerates it looked it looked funny oh is it called tires probably yeah i'm seeing a lot of in june a week oh and it looks like June. So a week.

Oh, and it looks like six episodes are dropping on May 23rd. I'll watch it. I like Shane Gillis. He's funny. That might be all of them. I know it's a brave take that Shane Gillis is a funny guy. He was on SNL.

I think he's good. Yeah, that was funny to see. I've never watched SNL. I've never actually just sat down and watched an episode of it. But it's good to see. His sketches were good. I don't like the broadcast either. I'm an SNL fan, but I wouldn't watch

the broadcast because there's so much filler and there's so much crap. I don't care about the music act like you want to hey would you like to see your favorite artist get the worst performance they've ever given late tonight between some comedy skits no no just i want to go to bed so just put the comedy skits all together and i'll watch the music at the end if i want to i hate that formula that they do so i'm glad they post on YouTube. It's like Super Bowl commercials.

Just get to the meat and potatoes of this whole fucking thing, what we actually want to see. It's much better that way. I liked his skits, the one where the Trump sneakers gave him the ability to just... He shoots the basketball and he misses. They're like, oh, you missed. He's like, no, I didn't. It went in.

No, it didn't go't. It went in. It went in. No, it didn't go in. It absolutely did. I was like, maybe. They're like, I guess it did. I don't know. I guess it did. Did you see the one where he was at his high school reunion?

The Forrest Gump one. Yeah. Yeah, that was great. The Liberty Mutual one is good the uh the limu the emu that was probably the best oh yeah it was a cup of time yeah that one is really good but i watched them on youtube they're um no i i like him i like his comedy and he seems like a like a decent guy i like his world war ii obsessions too like i heard him talking about that dan carlin thing and that's what made me go listen to it and so it's funny to like listen to him talking about that dan carlin thing and that's what made me go listen to it and so it's funny to like listen to him talk about it after i've seen the 25 hour fucking

podcast or whatever it is about world war ii um no he seems like a good guy yeah you linked me that clip of uh other comedians like making fun of him for playing Total War or Age of Empires. One of those three. Or one of those games. Yeah, the Draculas. The Draculas versus the Greenskins. Which is definitely not an Age of Empires thing. That's a little more fun. Have you seen the Tom Brady roast? I have not.

Only highlights. I've seen clips, yeah. So I fast forwarded through all the people. I don't care what Gronkowski has to say. He's not a comedian. He's been fed some jokes. He won't even deliver them well. I'll skip that. If you want to see the best part, it's Nikki Glaser.

Nikki Glaser kills so fucking hard that nobody else can even come close. Nobody else came close to what Nikki Glaser did. She blew it out of the park so well. It was mean and nasty and fighting. And it was so well timed. She was hitting forehands and backhands. The jokes were coming quick sometimes. Just like bada boom, bada bing, bada boom, bada bing.

And shitting on four different people. As she looks around the room, everybody's getting some shit. And it's all mean, biting, true shit. It was really good. She killed. You told me. Did you see the Burt and Segura? I watched one minute and then I started going,

fast forward, fast forward, fast forward, fast forward. Non-comedians could do that better. They were really bombed. What's up with... I don't know about Burt Kreischer's career, really, but Tom Segura was very funny at one point. I think he still is, but

I don't know. I don't like Burt at all. Yeah, I've never seen any of his comedy and giggled at it. You've seen The Machine. Oh, I've seen The Machine, and it's just like why are we pretending this is a real story?'s a real story she was like i try to disprove the machine with a quick cursory google search do not do that

i want to think he's jokes with uh about burt like, I love that your joke. That one joke. Church is supposed to say ah. It's so funny because you don't wear it, but you're supposed to. Yeah. Everything she said was really mean and funny. They shit on Tom Brady so hard.

He wasn't expecting it. What? It's a roast? They went so hard, dude. They expecting it and i he said what it's a roast they went so hard dude they were talking about how you know his wife left him for her jiu-jitsu coach and they were talking about how like she's sucking his balls with their 30 million dollars and stuff like that you know like it was mean shit i feel like and they kept going back to it they went back to the jiu-jitsu teacher taking his wife at least four times, and I fast forward a lot. Dude, they would have to.

What else can you make fun of Tom Brady for? It's become a point of crisis and contention in his family. He's like, I did not know it was going to happen like this. And the only thing he objected to was when the Patriots coach got called out for that massage parlor wank. Yes, he did. I was just about to ask. Bob Kraft is there.

He got upset at. Bob Kraft is there, and they made a massage parlor handjob joke about Bob Kraft. And you can hear Tom Brady leaning, like, don't joke about that shit. And it's like, ooh, I don't think that was a joke. Make fun of my whore ex-wife all you please, but don't make fun of my man in the football world.

They cut over to Bob Kraft, and there the old fucker is. You know what I mean? It was awkward. Was he having fun? The massage parlor, yeah, he was a huge fan. Yeah, he loved it. Not at all now. Five stars on the Yelp review.

If I was his manager publicist, helping him with the face of his brand, Bobcraft, I'd be like, sir, Yelp reviewed the Massage Parlor right now, five stars. Right now, it'll be the funniest thing ever and this whole thing will blow over. You know it was true. It would be so hilarious if Yelp reviewed them. Or if he gave them a bad

review and had a comedian write it about that, he could own the whole thing. But no, it was clearly something that I caught that moment. Tom Brady's like, don't joke about that shit. You can hear him pick it up on the mic. It wasn't like, ha ha, don't joke about that shit. It was like

him leaning over to the guy like, don't joke about that shit. It was a fun little moment. It was a good roast. I haven't watched a roast in forever. I need to remember. It was funny seeing the one I haven't watched a roast in forever. I need to remember. I think the mom. It was funny seeing the one comedian roast Dana White and the fighters that are with him. Now, I like fighting, so I know these guys are killers, but they look ridiculous.

One of them looks like, I don't know, like a transsexual clown. And the other one looks like he's homeless. And these are two of the baddest motherfuckers in the world they both was the transsexual clown sugar shane o'malley it sure was and and the homeless person's max holloway he's just sitting there with like half a mustache grown in wearing like a sweater at a black tie event like like he's just wearing like a long sleeve shirt sit with like a regular like cheap little chain on like like you and it's a black tie event they know whites where everybody's wearing suits and gowns and shit and there they

are and so this guy's like who you got sitting with you there my god and it starts ripping into them and it's just like oh that is kind of cringy they're not representing themselves well why does your shauna malley have to look like a gay poodle everywhere he goes that's his brand why is that his brand i little fruit you got to take a brand that's not taken yet jesus christ that's true he's like god damn it all the cool fighter names are taken hammer the titan the fucking the attempted murderer but i'm the first bozo that's a real fighter name yeah the the The, the ax murderer. Ax murderer. I,

it was that, um, Vondelay Silva, right? Oh no. Who's the ice man? Chuck Liddell. Oh,

I met that guy. Yeah. Oh, that's right. You met Chuck Liddell. You had giant hands, right? He did.

He's a, he's a beefy boy, a broad fella. I wouldn't want to tussle with him. Good call. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I think he's a pushover these days. You saw that fight. I don't know. I feel like that guy goes

into any public place not full of professional fighters. I would rather fight Chuck Liddell than you. If I'm thinking about it, I just think I'd much rather fight Chuck Liddell than you. If I got to jump on one of you outside the bar with no warning, man, I'm jumping on Chuck. Chuck ain't

getting back up. It's true. I'm sprung. You might. You might. You might be like, you're in trouble. Ooh, I got you for three minutes. Like I dropped my keys trying to make my getaway.

Dropped your keys? I bet Taylor could beat Chuck Liddell in a foot race. I could definitely run faster than that dude. Yeah, and I'm not quick. I might be the slowest here. Are you quick, Chris? You got speed? Could you outrun Chuck Liddell if you need to?

I never thought of it, but now I am fast. I like the confidence. I'm small, so it's now I am fast. Not really. I like the confidence. I'm small, so it's, you know. You would be hard to catch. I would, yeah. He's quick. Oh, yeah.

What if Chuck Liddell had blade legs, though? Do you think you could evade him still? Dude, the blade leg guys run faster than regular leg guys. That's what I'm saying. Now you have a speedier, more agile blade-legged chucker. All the world record holders don't have blade legs. They wish they did. They would run faster.

There is a chance that I could unhook them. I would be, like, golden. How about this? We add blades to our regular legs. Now we're the best of both worlds. I have tried the moon shoes. What they don't tell you in the commercial is that moon shoes are not made for 150 pound 12 year olds.

You get any bounce at all? You're just crushing those springs. No bounce. All they do is clack against the sides of your sneakers as you're sadly walking around the unfinished area of your basement trying to leap against all odds. I want to share the blade leg answer. The research showed that runners using blades perform significantly slower than non-amputees. They took 40% longer to start out of the blocks, 19% longer to reach their aerobic capacity and were one to 3% slower around curves and had a 200% higher shorts budget. What's their top speed though? I think that might be where the blades take it. I think that was the 90% longer to reach there.

Let me see. That's where I'm curious to the top. They're like carefully avoiding top speed by mentioning the corner speed right is it like how some cars are like quick and then some are fast i think if that makes yeah i think this has a in the straight in like a in a drag race that's long enough the blade legs win if you're on fox where they had athletes compete against animals and so they had like a strong guy and an elephant like pulling against each other and shit but then the one thing they had like somebody fast i remember who it was but

they had him like race a cheetah and it was just like what do you think's gonna happen yeah man the humans once again losing to the animal that's specifically chosen. Fox didn't give a shit back in the day. They'd have like a two-hour special that was something like that, and they'd build it up for a week in 12-year-old media. Oh, my God. They're going to have a man race cheetah tonight. Who's going to win?

Oh, the cheetah. It's like 70 miles per hour. They could barely convince the cheetah it was in a race, and it won. Yeah. Yeah, the animals are always gonna they'd have to mix up the animal score competencies like you'd have to race an elephant instead of do a strength test against an elephant because obviously like any animal our size is way stronger than we are we suck at strength compared to animals and we suck at speed compared to animals we And we suck at speed compared to animals.

We hang our hat on being good distance runners, which is the lamest thing to be good at. I disagree. I disagree. It's how we chase stuff down and how we got our brains so big was by being able to run like that. I thought we got our brains so big.

Top speed is hotly contested. That's what it comes down to. You can get whatever answer you want to go with. They'd crack open the marrow of the bones of things that have been killed by other predators too. I didn't know that. Yeah. I don't know enough to dispute that. I don't know enough to dispute it.

That's helpful for me. The don't know podcast. That's my core competency. Sure. Yeah, I guess that kind of makes sense. Okay, I'll Podcast. That's my core competency. Sure. Yeah, I guess that kind of makes sense. Okay, I'll repeat that confidently to people at parties now. It's like me whenever I say,

I'm like, yeah, I read an article about that, but it was like a TikTok I saw a day ago. I was pouring over the data. There's this girl eating in her car that was talking about this one thing. Yeah. Now she was fat, so take it with a grain of salt.

Well, I think that's a nice five-hour show. Chris, thank you for helping us wrap it up. Appreciate it. Yeah, no problem. Appreciate that, man. Thanks for involving me, yeah. Yeah. Everyone check out Chris's stuff.

Check out Wendigoon's stuff. Check out Dick's stuff. And Gavin Wendigoon stuff. Check out Dick's stuff. And Gavin McInnes is all linked below. Buy our comp pills, join our patron, and have a good, have a nice day. That's it.

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