Painkiller Already - PKA 701 W/ Oompaville: Terrance Howard Is Nuts, Furries Are Actually Nice, Kyle's New Chinese Friends
Episode Date: May 25, 2024...
Transcript
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pka 701 our guest caleb taylor this episode of pk is brought to you by lock and load and
blue chew a couple of penis related pills that are gonna help out your life improve you
caleb thank you so much for joining us i dude i'm gonna be honest i'm honored i've been watching pk
since i was like 15 years old so this is really weird to me i'm gonna be able to start yeah i applaud your low expectations
and standards oh man yeah yeah yeah this is cool it's weird like like we did episode 700 last week
and i like went on youtube and like i wanted to see you know because i those big special episodes
i'm like i want to make sure everybody's you know receiving it well they're liking it everyone's liking it and i saw people leaving comments that were like you know it's crazy
i'm 24 years old now hard to believe it's been 13 years i've watched this show and i'm like oh no
your social development has to be incredibly hindered
yeah it's the opposite these we lifted these children up exactly without me these wouldn't
women wouldn't know how to blow it dude look did i are pleasing you learn a lot from us caleb
yes yeah yeah i learned especially dude this is so weird i started saving money when i was 15 years
old because of male monday the whole like boomer mythos of a thousand dollars a month over 20 years millionaire
thing i didn't stick with it for long enough to find out but i did that and uh and like a lot of
just really i don't know yeah i i've learned i learned a lot i became the man i am today because
of pka well no yeah that's tragic there's's a New York Times ran an article on someone
who became this like wealthy guy
by following it.
And he credited me
in the New York Times article.
I have it bookmarked.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm really proud of it.
So you'll be like
in the presidential archives, right?
Or congressional archives.
They have to keep track
of all that shit.
I didn't think of that.
Yeah, you're right.
Are we is our show
wasting space in there do all the youtube videos keep it's a different archive is it is it the adl
watch list archive it's closed in north carolina yeah yeah i know we've said a few things about
the israelis that'll probably get us on some lists no they're never wrong i'll be honest i've swung back the other way i'm i'm team idf now as well
like for a while they had me for a while they they had me you know on the other side because
they were showing me a lot of burnt up crispy babies and uh and then that aid group that that's
what really upset me a little bit it seemed like a bridge too far for me when the aid group seemingly
were like precision struck like Their car had a hole
through it where the missile hit.
It's like, hang on,
why aren't we shooting white people in cars?
These are definitely not your terrorists
who came on October 7th.
These are just feeding...
Help me understand, who shot the aid group?
You know what Kyle's upset about? They were white.
No, but wait.
Maybe I misunderstood the start of it.
I thought Kyle had swung back and become
Israel. Oh, I have. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have. Okay. Yeah. Because you like
people who kill aid workers? Well, no.
What I was saying was
there was a time when they were showing a lot of
crispy babies, and they were showing, like I said,
that aid group getting struck, and I was,
oh, this is no good. You guys are bad.
But I'm coming back around the other
way i mean they're just trying to win that war that they didn't start and then they released
that video today of them like torturing the those lady hostages and stuff and that brought a lot of
people back too if you watched it they need to they need to show more people that that stuff
because i feel like people are only seeing the awful stuff i've seen doing i've seen enough of
i cut their achilles tendon stail, so they couldn't run away.
I don't want to see...
Is this another beheaded babies thing?
They beheaded babies! They cooked them in ovens.
They retracted that.
You're so far behind, dude.
I just don't think so.
40 babies or something?
Definitely not 40 babies.
No. I'm pretty sure that's the initial
reported number, though. i don't think i
made that up um some guy said this on joe rogan's podcast and it kind of resonated with me he says
all right you and i are in the house some guy breaks in kills me and then you kill him because
hey you were next in line that's self-defense right that's not really a close call you're
allowed to kill that home intruder right i think we're all on the same page. Everyone's on the same page. He breaks in
the house. He kills me. You kill him. It's in your house. You're cool. Everything's set. Let's go
this way. He breaks in your house. He kills me. Then he goes back to his own house and he's there
with five or six family members, his wife, his four kids, he's chilling, he's watching TV. You go to
his house and you murder him,
his wife, and his children.
Is that self-defense?
Because that's more what Israel's doing now.
Well, it's called a war, though. It's not
about self-defense. We don't need
to stand our ground and we don't need to be
in fear for our lives. There's an existential
threat just over the border, feet
away. You can measure it in feet how far the bad guys are away. Remember when they were
dragging those European women
in the back of the truck through the streets? You didn't see anybody upset.
A fantastic feat of upper body strength, yes. Everybody's spitting on the raped woman
laying there with her leg twisted funny. Everybody's slapping her. The children are,
the peasants.
The Hamas has to defend their hostages from just the
populace at large in Palestine.
I don't know. I'm on Team Israel on this.
I think they're all bad. I think that there
might be a few people somewhere who aren't bad,
but those people are living such a shitty life because they're not
bad, because they're not of any
consequence anywhere. I think most of them are bad.
Most of them are either Hamas or Hamas
supporters. If this was Am I the
Asshole, I'm firmly
everybody sucks here. And that's why I don't
like being involved.
This was too early to talk about
fucking Israel and Hamas
in the show.
You're the anti-Boogie. No, you're anti-Boogie.
Boogie would have been like, you know, they're all good.
They're all people. They're all children. They're all God's children. Boogie would have been like, you know, they're all good. They're all people. They're all children.
No, you know what Boogie would do?
Boogie would barge into the West Bank,
and they'd see just how big and powerful he was,
and they wouldn't dare.
He would have shut that right down.
You know who we needed?
We needed Mark Wahlberg on a paramotor.
He would have shut that shit right fucking down.
It wouldn't have gone down the way it did.
That's all I'm saying.
If he hadn't seen, yeah, he's like, I was supposed to be on those towers.
If I haven't seen that Vietnamese guy on the way to work.
Yeah.
You know, and rough him up.
I would have been killed.
Yeah.
For those who don't know, Marky Mark has a history of hate crimes where he's
people's senseless.
Big hate crime guy.
Yeah.
He's a big hate crime guy.
Wait, is he a spree hate crime or was it a crime of passion?
I think there's definitely a gay guy,
but he beat this Korean man while screaming.
Elderly.
An elderly Korean man he beat while screaming
the right slurs for that man.
I don't know exactly what he called it.
Like an educated slur.
He's not throwing ones for Vietnamese people out there. I don't even know what the Korean ones are Like an educated slur. Like he's not throwing like ones for Vietnamese people out there.
I don't even know what the Korean ones are.
I'm embarrassed.
It's my job.
We're only seven minutes in.
I'm a professional.
I'm a professional slurrist.
But yeah.
To keep it lighter than the Israel thing, I was watching some of your content, Caleb.
And this guy, Daniel larson yeah uh
i have i'm transfixed with this guy now he's a dude who like has spongebob teeth like only the
two front teeth and he seems to have been he went down the popular tiktok guy to pedophile rabbit hole, I guess, in record speed.
A well-worn path.
A well-worn path, yeah.
Yeah.
What's the deal with this guy now?
Is he locked up?
Is he taken care of?
I believe he's still in, I think he's in custody.
I don't know if he's going to be sentenced.
So he's in jail now for, he's on his way to prison, I believe,
for making threats against the White House.
That he was going to build a
bomb and he was just like you know said some very unsavory things about uh the united states
government repeatedly over like a year and then they finally nabbed him up uh and yeah he's like
a he's like a really fucked up childhood super traumatic childhood into tiktok fame and like probably
schizophrenic some kind like some kind of oh terrible terrible disorder and people are like
you are the president you are and he's like i'm the president and he's like you are you are yeah
and he's like what is your royalty like exactly like that people convinced him of stuff for years
and there's all these different arcs um and now he's in jail for or prison for probably a long long period of time also a pedophile uh
but like yeah that's not why he's in prison no no no the pedophile stuff's just kind of like
extra yeah icing on the cake i'm super curious did he threaten the white house and the president
as a partisan or just sort of anti-establishment in general?
Like Ted K., I think. Like really just kind of – but like Ted K., but if Ted K.
Yeah, yeah.
If Ted K. struggled to do basic math.
Right, yes.
Instead of being a mathematician.
Instead of living in the woods, if Ted K.iktok live put a toothbrush in his ass basically yeah
yeah yeah different you like uh you slow sold it in a way that made me laugh i was watching
while you were working all i was working out and i the pedophile part hadn't come up yet
and you showed a clip of him being like yes and he has he has only his two front teeth
only his two front like a carton literally Literally Spongebob kind of teeth.
And he was like, I looked at the girls and I masturbated to them.
And I'm like, what is this big confession?
He masturbated to girls?
That's what straight guys tend to masturbate to.
And then the next clip was like, the girls he's talking about are in you know children's america's
next top model or something yeah and they're like 11 year olds yeah on pinterest bro like like 10
or 11 on pinterest yeah where do you watch yeah no the show is like them doing like america next
top model yeah where is it streaming requiring minds need to know i don't know i don't know
well yeah pinterest bro text him yeah it's on pinterest that's where the pedophiles are yeah
and then i real and he admitted it right on his stream which tells me that like he there seems to
be like a chasm in the world of pedophiles where like they're either very clever or they're absolute
retards and this guy's in the retard uh camp of pedophiles where he just was like, you know what?
I'll just cop to it and this will all blow over.
No, it did not.
I think sometimes when you see the people online, not just Chris Hansen's, but the myriad of amateurs, if you can call Chris a pro, who've come afterwards.
They want to get someone
and i think they'll go after lonely low iq and i don't mean that as an insult but like if you
tested these people you'd be like oh shit and you have a job and everything yeah they could
join the army they go you guys have you guys seen the poop pills guy is this a different fella the
poop this is a different this is like a,
an Asian guy that one of these predator poacher.
I don't,
it's not predator poachers.
I don't remember who it is.
Maybe I forget.
It's on rumble.
This is one of our sponsors.
So tread carefully,
you know,
he goes on there and he goes to like a CVS or Walgreens.
And there's this little Asian guy and he's there to meet a 13 year old or 14
year old,
whatever it is,
doesn't fucking matter. And he's like, I'm here for my poop pills.
And he just starts freaking out and having this like meltdown in public. And he's like,
I have to poop. And he just starts freaking out and keep talking. It's like, it's fake,
but it's not, it's real. He gets in his car, fucking crashes, drives away. You've seen that.
Yeah. You've seen it. Like his little little box car it's like a little fucking box does he flip it upside down like he incapacitates the vehicle
maybe it's like hits a curb and fucking knocks like like that thing had to weigh 40 pounds in
the back by how it popped off the ground like he had a jump like evil can even when you say maybe
okay something like that. Very ugly.
I thought he, like, it was like, well, he's not going anywhere now.
I poop pills!
Did he have a pooping problem that was established, or was that his, like, this is the only thing I can think of?
He has that in the back of his head.
He's like, I'm here for poop pills.
No one would admit to poop pills.
No one would. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He appeared constipated. I yeah yeah yeah he appeared constipated
honest he appeared constipated that's the easiest thing to fake oh i always thought you needed like
a child predator hunting license or something you had to go to yeah permit like like the local
police department or at least or maybe the feds even but apparently all you need
is a microphone and a telephone because vitaly is doing it now. You remember Vitaly?
He's a Russian YouTuber who did pranks for a long time.
I did that stupid thing.
That's not who I'm thinking of.
He's an actual Russian.
Yeah, he got real buff.
He started doing testosterone and other steroids for a while
and got real fucking buff.
That's a good prerequisite to pedophile hunting.
Well, he doesn't look as big as he used to.
And he also had like i like vitality
i've met vitality a couple times um he had some kind of a issue a year or two ago where he went
a bit deranged and maybe a slight issue you know allegedly i don't know i wasn't there
spicy there were mug shots but i've been there too so who knows the full story but now i guess maybe as part-time he's on he was either
rumble or one of those um what's it is that what is it he's on yeah oh that's where he live streams
that's where he does his predator hunting yeah okay okay well anyway they lured a 70 something
year old pedophile to like have with a child, and then they start
making... I caught
up at the point where he'd been found out,
and a lot of people are watching this guy.
He'd been found out, and Vitaly and his
squad is on the sidewalk
now, and the 70-year-old is approaching them
maybe after he's already went through the embarrassing
part of being called out.
I think he's trying to apologize
or make some amends or see if vitality is a cop or something and just some dude walks up he's like yo i got
kids and dex the 70 year old knocks him completely unconscious and he hits his skull on the concrete
on when he and everybody got vitality has the best comedic timing Bill Murray, fucking Chevy Chase
he goes, oh no
someone stop him
and he runs away
and I mean, when somebody can actually
run how quick they get gone
he's like gone
why did that guy run away?
he could have been the key to the city, hero
he just attempted and murdered an old man
he's got a puddle of blood
on the ground it looks dark yeah but he didn't have a little kid in his arms or anything he was
apologizing for his yeah do you think the pedophile hunting community like there's almost a purism to
it where like they're like you know i'm hunting the dangerous like 25 30 year old pedophiles and
you're basically doing what that dentist did to that old lion.
You have no honor in your pedophile hunting.
You're taking the safe targets.
Yeah, that was a good pedophile.
He was over the hill.
He was keeping the young ones at bay.
He was keeping them squashed down.
He was even more dangerous than anything
because he's given the young pedophiles hope
that they could survive in their way of life until, like, 80.
He's like the master vampire. You've a splinter of training files yeah he also uh
vitalia also caught uh allegedly this guy herschel vein rod uh like a screenwriter for space jam the movie space jam caught him the old one oh no the one from 95 or 96 oh that sucks that
one's okay that's a good one yeah man i don't like that one bit anybody who works around kids
you gotta wonder like why did you pick this job this doesn't yeah it's weird you're putting up
with it should pay more to have to be around kids you must be suspicious of anyone kind of children yeah yeah when i hear them playing outside my house i get
like angry and so so like the idea of going so far the other way i'm glad that that's how god
made me someone who hates children you're just a hater it's better to hate children than to love
them too much i'll tell you that right now 100 especially if they're not your own yeah yeah
yeah safe bet when you like yell at them especially if they're not your own yeah yeah
yeah safe bet when you like yell at them like when you're in your neighborhood yelling at them
kyle do you always lead where you're like and you're all so ugly you're all ugly kids hate you
i don't yell at them two ponytails what is that about bitch yeah she had one they weren't side
by side they were high and low it made no fucking sense your head looks like a
wheelbarrow i've only yelled at them once just when they were using my driveway as like a skateboard
ramp there's like a bunch of them out there racing around my cars so they had to go but you dislike
them outside because they're noisy yeah yeah i just don't want to hear their happy little voices
walking by my house dude it sounds funny but when i lived in a townhouse uh we all have our own yards it was
like this shared yard in front of my unit and uh i fucking hated the children i never went outside
and said anything but inside i would just complain to my wife because they're screaming
silence your goddamn kids shut up but having so much fun you little fuckers yeah exactly i'm not
having fun yeah i uh would pray for rain and storms
during the summer when i lived in a neighborhood yeah you guys and remember the and remember boogie
i know i always say boogie because i think fat and boogie's like boogie and fat are synonymous
to me it's it's like a large it's a straight no reason i know i'm busy for him to catch him you
know he's exact big guys.
Like imagine being as big as he was in a war.
He'd be catching like literal strays all the time.
How have you been hit eight times today?
Soldier.
The other people.
Cover.
Can you imagine him at Bastogne?
He's like taking,
he's like taking his jacket off.
He's so hot.
What am I laughing at?
It's because we're laughing because he's fat.
Because he's a big old fat person.
That's funny.
He's made a living out of doing it.
He's the one who made a video, like a documentary,
and then promoted it where it was like,
I'm a big fat loser.
Feel bad for me.
And now we're laughing at him for being a big fat loser,
but I don't feel bad for him. I don't think he a loser like like i just think that he's a big fat person and and he
makes people laugh with that talent or attribute if you will and i don't think he'd be butthurt
about someone pointing out that he's a big boy or making a funny joke like imagining him at the
psalm trying to rush those german guns like i just don't think he'd get very far. He's a big boy. You think Vin Diesel
could have saved him? Nah.
I love Vin. No.
Marky Mark's work schedule
would save him, though.
Do you know Boogie, Caleb?
I was on the Low-Cal podcast
before PKA, so that's
the extent of my
knowledge of Boogie, really, to be honest.
I don't know him.
He's not even a bad dude. I't dislike him i just enjoyed seeing woody feel bad we're making fun
of him so into that so our audience gave him such a hard time the last time he was on did he do a
good job or a bad job our audience that doesn't sound right yeah no i swear
yeah he seems like a good enough dude.
Hopefully he's losing some weight.
You know, it's hard to keep
fucking personal
attribute score after a decade or so,
but I don't remember him doing anything
that I thought was bad or evil
anyway. He's done some
questionable things, but it's like whatever.
He's just, exactly.
He's his own worst enemy eat that pussy
that guy edp so um you know edp is like a well-known pedophile he's been busted like twice
yeah it's crazy but he is well known you have heard of him you have heard of him i love him
i was i was watching i was watching that kendrick lamar song um and and it's the one part where it's
like certified lover boy, certified pedophile.
When they say pedophile,
they show a picture of Boogie.
It's like,
and I'm laughing my ass.
Do you mean EDP?
I did it again, didn't I?
Sorry, Boogie.
I know you're not a pedophile.
You just like Oreos, not kids.
He's just a big fat guy. He's just a man i i'm genuinely not trying to do that to him
edp the fat black guy he's the one yeah he might be my favorite like kind of known person certainly
from our little realm who's been busted for the the uh the philia because he was so first of all the people that caught him really mocked him and
derided him like in a way chris hansen never would chris be like oh so what are you doing here
tonight uh just out on the town like that's as mean as he'd get these guys like hey fatty
we got we got your poop pictures here yeah that's right we're not into poop but clearly you are
ew what did you eat fatty and it's jesus this is lowbrow shit but it's me didn't eat yeah i was i
was fully on board with that like the powerful looking fat guy calling edp fat because yeah
yeah alex rosen rascal mcgovern's as you uh donned him. I saw a video of him, dubbed him, yeah.
I saw a video of him powerlifting, and immediately, it was so funny.
I'm like, oh, he's that kind of fat.
All right, I fuck with this guy even more now.
Didn't you meet him?
Didn't we meet him together?
Did we meet him at the event?
Was that who that was?
Yeah.
I guess I met him. All I guess I met that guy.
We met that guy.
It was wonderful to meet you.
And this is a bit I remembered.
It just got me thinking is all.
You made a huge impression on Taylor, by the way.
If Vitalik can catch pedophiles, I don't see why we can't.
We should catch
ourselves a pedophile catch it alex has like a he has got a nearly 50 incarceration right now
he like arrests gets half of them to go to jail it's pretty impressive good for him impressive
way better than i would imagine what chris hansen got oh yeah by the end they had like a whole
investigation running side by side like his main show. I think it was
who told me that most of those guys didn't end up
going to jail. Basically, it's like
this. The first season, they
didn't know this was going to work. They didn't
know what was going to happen.
They were shocked when dozens
of pedophiles were either showing up
or trying to show up or one thing
or the other. Then the viewers
were like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're letting them go?
They're like, they had to change
the format of the show. They had to get the cops involved.
Even then,
sometimes the evidence wouldn't be
right or maybe
something would be done
inappropriately as far as the investigation of the cops.
It's not like the movies,
I guess. The cops can't just be like, ah, guilty yeah all right come with us they you know there's a chain
of command with us molesto yeah it didn't always work out but but the the recent episodes i've seen
they do that after report where they show like what they got sentenced to and it varies so wildly
that it it feels kind of dirty like it's like
well hang on we can't give this guy six months if you're gonna give him 16 years exactly how do
how do we how do you get into catching pedophiles that's what i'm saying all you need is like a
phone and like a like that's it you get lying i'm taking a totally different approach i'm casing
elementary schools playground shit like that.
That's where they hang out, right?
You're not Batman-ing this.
Holy shit. You're not telling me what to do, Kyle.
Okay, you'll be our
exterior squad.
You're going to love my costume.
Wearing your mask,
watching with a close eye on the kids.
Just paramotoring from playground to playground
looking for...
Call him the candy man.
You're just dropping stuff from your paramotor.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
I'd have to talk to Alex Rosen.
What do you...
How do you actually catch them?
Alright, so here's what i'd do i would
go on to like reddit or somewhere like that and i would pose as like a teen yeah somewhere that's
gonna i'd be like a confused teen on on on a subreddit that's for teenagers and then i and
then i would wait for the creepy messages to pile in and I'd start talking to them. Do you think many would actually come in?
You see it all the time.
Like you'll see posts where people will be like,
Hey,
I'm 15.
All I posted was new shoes for cheerleading practice.
It's my feet in the shoes.
These are my messages.
And it's like,
Oh,
we,
Oh,
we've gone to a dark place.
Oh shit.
Anyone out there listening to this,
if you want to pretend to be a teenager online,
send us the screen caps of the pedophiles.
Tweet those at me.
I want to see if we can find some.
Yeah, you know what I would be worried about?
And this is weird, but it's such an awful...
Pedophilia is the worst thing.
We always say it.
I'd be afraid it's somehow a crime
to be on the receiving end of the fake pedophilia. say it. I'd be afraid it's somehow a crime to be on
the receiving end of the fake
receiving end of the pedophile.
I'd be weird
that somehow
it would seem like I'm creepy because
I have a 14-year-old girl profile
that I'm operating online.
Imagine you're
out there trying to catch pedos, but you just get caught
pretending to be a 14-year-old girl.
Just because my Reddit handle is 16 and slutty doesn't mean I'm 16.
Yeah, right?
Like, you need cameras.
They're like, all right, everyone, now we're going to log in.
We're watching.
The team profile we're using to catch bad people.
Everybody ready for this?
It would only be creepy if it was like, you know, like they're like, Kyle caught the pedophile.
It would only be creepy if it was like, you know, like they're like, Kyle caught the pedophile.
Over the months, he'd made tens of thousands of profiles pretending to be the same 11-year-old girl.
I'm using it after this thing.
People question his methods by using pictures of actual children.
Just using actual children.
He recruits them.
I mean, I know that.
That seems illegal.
Chris Hansen used to get 20-year-olds who looked 15. That was his
workaround.
He's got this cute
20-year-old college student
wearing a baseball cap and
some jeans. She looks 12.
It's like, bro, don't go in.
Those cookies aren't
for you.
Don't go in. It cookies aren't for you. Don't go in.
It's like their last meal.
But the thing is, they're already done.
They're already cooked.
You want, like, going in is definitely showing,
probably, you know, escalating things.
But once they show up,
I think once they're in the yard there,
they fucked up.
Sometimes the cops will be in ghillie suits.
Have you seen that?
Oh, yeah. I love that. Yeah. The dude in the ghillie suits have you seen that yeah i love that yeah the dude the ghillie jumps out i love that guy's having such a fun evening
yeah there was a guy did i get the ghillie out here why not an ex mlb pitcher got uh got
stinged yesterday or two days ago or something like that and there was a guy who apparently
looked like me
people tagged me like a million times on twitter they were like why'd you do that why'd you do that
and the guy who tackled him looked like me with a mustache white guy with a mustache luckily uh but
they just opened the door and he fucking bull charged him and tackled him onto the grass which
that seemed aggressive but he must have been a really bad pedophile i loved it yeah i thought
that was great i'm fine with that He like knocks or rings or whatever.
And when the door opens,
there's a camera.
So you can see what's going on inside the room just before he opens the
door.
And the cops are sort of on the starting blocks.
You know how before you get ready and in position,
they're all starting blocks and they know who's going first,
second,
third there.
So they flow out of that room,
like eight deep rapidly
and the lead man wraps our pedophile up and tackles him to the ground sends him flying a
few feet like like he like bobby boucher tackles him to the ground yeah it was great i didn't mind
it at all because you saw that other clip where the pedophile immediately pulls the handgun out
when he sees the cops the cops were kind of like pushing up on him but they were still being what you call polite like cop polite how would you even get them in
the end though like let's say that you have the most convincing fake profile kyle and you actually
bait a pedophile who happens to be in your area and you're like meet me at the fucking uh bojangles
off seventh street at noon and then you meet him there, and then you're like, aha, I've got you!
And then if you call the police, are the police going to be like,
actually, because you're an adult, he wasn't
actually talking to a minor? Or would he be in trouble for like, well, this guy thought
you were a minor, and he was clearly going to do something illegal?
Yeah, you'd have to you'd
have to ask rascal mcgovern's about the particulars but i noticed sometimes rascal chris with chris
hansen that it'll be like you know they will just them saying that they're coming there to do the
things and then showing up is showing the intent so right and there's also laws about i don't know how it's phrased but speaking dirty
to children through the internet like like a cockpit yeah that oh sending dirty pics is
definitely its own crime too yeah if they do that something that proved you knew it was a prank they
do that and it's you know like if i showed up with a note in my pocket that said i knew this was
chris hansen i'm actually here for the cookies right and i can pull this out yeah viable
well it would depend what you had written in the messages and the messages he was like yo chris i
know it's you i'm coming for them cookies like like i think you'd be i think you'd be all good
because you never said you were doing anything dirty you never did anything dirty you're sitting
there what if you send a picture of your cock though that's a problem because that's a problem yeah yeah yeah is that illegal
yeah to a child what if i know it's not a child or in this scenario i knew it was chris hansen
well i think you'd be under the implication that it is a child yeah well you'd have to fight that
one in court i think woody people are not
going to take your side but i gotta i gotta litter we talked about this like a long time ago where i
don't remember who it was on the show but they were here's a good question caleb if you found
out your dad like killed someone like uh it got into a bar fight outside you know meet me out there he put your
dad punched this dude so hard he fell hit his head on a tailgate and died your dad escapes home
are you turning him in no no zero percent no all of us of course not yeah i would never i would
never i would help him all right so that's we would all help him. So you don't help him.
I'm not helping him at all, but I'm keeping my mouth shut.
That's helpful.
But of course, that's like the most defensible sort of thing.
That's the classic Con Air scenario,
where Nicolas Cage is just defending his wife outside a bar against three attackers,
but he's a weapon of death, so he kills one of them and has to go to prison.
What if your dad was drunk driving
and he killed someone but and and you see and you see him pull into the garage with a bloody
destroyed front end on his car and he tells you he just hit somebody and he says boy get the bucket
i wouldn't help i wouldn't help i would i would i would call the police if my dad was drunk driving
and killed someone i would call the police see the difference yeah i absolutely would yeah would you call the
police i would i would i was almost yeah yeah i would say i've like i i don't know i don't like
uh i don't like drunk driving i don't like drunk driving i don't like it either all right all right
let me change it a little bit what if what if he was only drunk driving because you needed him badly and he had been coming you're like dad you got to come home
i'm having a panic attack my my my girlfriend wife significant other just left me my life is over i
think i'm gonna hurt myself dad but he was drinking at the bar and he's like my son i've had a few i
don't know i'm coming and he's like dad this is it you're like i'm coming boy and on the way he ran over a street walking prostitute with a
saving lives at this point she was gonna spread those aids
though kyle he's not on the car boy get the bucket and the gloves
i'd say for that one that one's a lot more complicated.
I feel like if I'm in the situation
where I'm going on the edge,
I don't think I'm really too worried about
if anybody's killing anybody.
That's all about your feelings.
Yeah, it's selfish at that point.
All of these have to do with me at the end of the day.
Yeah, exactly.
What are you going to do with those?
You got to get your car repaired somehow.
I don't know what you're
gonna do the whole point of the the murder though thing the question is like i don't remember if you
guys remember the guests we had on was it filthy or maybe i'm maybe it wasn't filthy but all of us
me kyle and woody were like we're not turning our dad in for fucking killing someone like no
not turning my own dad in
and then we switch to pedophile and we're
all like oh 100% that guy's got
yeah yeah he's got to go
so it's that much of a line
I might kill him
you're just gonna
I might put him out of his misery yeah
kill your father
you find evidence of his
ill deeds
photographs this is terrible to say if it were to like You find evidence of his ill deeds in photographs.
This is terrible to say.
If it were to be my father would have molested my sister, let's say, I would kill him.
Absolutely, without a doubt.
What if it was in the distant past?
He did it, but it was 27 years ago.
She's moved on and established in her life now, and he's reformed.
Like Ashley and Joe Biden?
I would hurt him.
I think I would beat him up.
I would have to, I think.
You'd beat up your –
Back in the 80s, we all chowed with each other's kids.
My dad's 50.
He probably could still whoop my ass, to be honest.
My dad's 77.
I got him.
Oh, you got him up.
Your dad's got no shot.
You're going to ruin him.
I think you definitely turn him in
if he's done that.
I couldn't stomach that. But if he was just
like, you know, I got mad and I hit him
and he felt funny and
oh, shit.
Let's not tell anyone this.
What if it was Kyle to go in the other direction. What if it was, Kyle, to go in the other direction,
what if it was an even dumber murder where your dad's like,
well, this fella at the bar, he's saying Georgia isn't going to win
the national championship next year, and so I punched him.
He fell.
Pool cue almost kind of final destination.
It's way into his rectum.
And now I'm here.
Where is here?
Because how can I help him though?
Weren't there witnesses at the bar and stuff?
No, I was wearing, it was a mask orgy bar.
Eyes wide shut.
I was wearing a plague mask.
I had my furry suit on.
You had my furry suit on.
I'm making a lot of confessions to you tonight, boy.
That's right.
I am GrayWolf69.
I'm a very different man than whom you imagine.
The last few years have my horizons, Kyle.
How about this?
Your dad is a Florida Gators fan.
Look, I probably
would be like, I'm not going to turn him in.
That's the thing.
Not for Gators fans, no.
There's also a big difference between
not turning him in, not dropping
the dime on him, per se,
and just
helping him dissolve a body.
I don't help him dissolve a fucking body.
Who are we?
Yeah, if my dad kills someone, I'm not going to help him dispose of the body i don't help him dissolve the fucking body like what who are we yeah i'm not gonna if my
dad kills someone i'm not gonna help him dispose of the body no but i'm gonna i'm gonna over trust
his explanation of it if he's like this guy was coming at me with a series of blades
with death with his anger murder in his eyes i'd be like i trust you dad you take care what needs
to be done i'm gonna go play aoe i'll make a public statement. If my dad ever kills someone,
chances are pretty high I was involved.
That's so funny when this is going to play in court
and they have to listen to the whole episode.
Matt Allen, too,
when he did the African man impression,
let's pause there and go back.
Look at this.
That is a lesson, folks. uh let's pause there and go back look at this make it a lot of sense it looks nice
yeah so that is a lesson folks don't turn your dad in unless he's a pedophile
yeah unless he abused you as a kid oh and then you can if your dad abused you sexually as a
child i think it's okay to like retroactively make up something that happened within a statute
of limitations get them done there's no there's no way there within the statute of limitations, get them done.
There's no way there's a statute of limitations on being a diddler.
There is, for sure.
There's got to be, right?
Here's for beating your girlfriend.
I'm going to call it 25 years.
This is serious.
Don't count New York, though,
because they're just willy-nilly with their laws up there.
They'll come after you at any point.
New York?
Yeah, New York did some kind of
child victim
law or something. I think the point was
to catch people who've been diddled by priest's
children. There is no statute of
limitations. Good. Yeah, there's
no way there would be for murder or
molesting a kid.
And to be clear, it says for felony cases
there's no statute of limitations.
I don't know which pedophile abuses are felonies, but probably most of them. Ah, it says for felony cases, there's no statute of limitations. I don't know which pedophile abuses
are felonies, but probably
most of them.
Ah, it's just misdemeanor pedophilia.
So maybe misdemeanor is like online shit.
I don't know. I'm making it up.
Nah, that shit's felony too.
Yeah, I think maybe you could like
attribute to the delinquency
of a minor. Like you give some kids
some beer, that's a misdemeanor.
But I think if you lay hands on a kid in a sexual way
or send them dirty pictures or anything,
you're committing multiple felonies.
It's almost like gun crime in the way they've made every facet of it
its own crime to really get you.
And rightfully so.
Those are the worst people.
You always hear about pedophiles being killed in prison.
Oh, yeah. That's why they have to put them in like separate wings right even if they don't kill them
in prison it's really hard to bounce back from that socially like you have to register sex offender
the worst kind of sex offender what job are you going to have going forward what neighbors are
going to allow you to live in that neighborhood yeah how you're going to introduce yourself to
people from now on a lot of people kill themselves when they get busted
for that because they're just like,
nothing good happens to me from here on out.
That's a win for society, though.
They take themselves out.
No one has to have nightmares
about shooting their gun in the line of duty.
Unless, of course, you're Roman Polanski
and then you just move to Europe and keep making
movies for Hollywood.
You can go to France if you've done some
fucked up shit and they'll be like, oh, that is
just your old ink.
And it's like, ugh.
Pretty sure it's a 12-year-old girl
that he raped before he fled to Europe
from the charges. One of the greatest directors
of all time.
If you remember, he was Sharon Tate's husband
in real life. She's the one who was
killed by the Manson family.
Oh, okay.
Is he the one who married his own stepdaughter or something like that?
No, that's Woody Allen, who's also a child.
You know, Carl Malone stayed in America.
His girl was 13.
And it wasn't like, maybe he's innocent.
No, they have a baby.
It's pretty locked in.
They're boosting the pudding there.
Yeah. Yeah. But he was a really good power forward.
So he's got that going for him.
Hall of Fame, right?
I'm not sure.
Is France where a lot of these
Hollywood pedos escape to?
I don't think there's been a lot of them escaping.
It's just Roman Polanski, really.
And then they crack down on...
Is he dead?
No, I think he made a movie recently, right? People are working with him? It's just Roman Polanski, really. And then they crack down on him. Is he dead? No.
I think he made a movie recently, right?
People are working with him?
Oh, yeah.
There's a legend.
What a despicable industry of people.
They gave him a standing ovation a couple of years ago at the Oscars.
Oh, I remember seeing the brouhaha about that,
where all the Me Too people, like Meryl Streep and whatever,
were suddenly like
freaking out over this actual
pedophile
cowards you know what
I don't care how much heat I get in
I don't care for it
two thumbs down don't like it
not for this guy
I'm still watching
his movies though
I looked it up
he got elected into the hall of fame twice hell yeah for this guy. I'm still watching his movies, though. I looked it up, pal.
He got elected into the Hall of Fame
twice.
Once as a player for those accomplishments
and once for his Olympic
basketball accomplishments.
Call him alone.
I didn't know you could be in the Hall of Fame twice, but there he is.
That's impressive.
What was his excuse? He's like, I'm not a pedophile.
I'm just bad at math.
She was really sick.
That might check out.
He's like, I remember Jimmy Kimmel used to do an impression of him.
Everybody did.
You know, Jimmy Kimmel put on the full black face.
But you'd always play Karl Malone as borderline retarded.
Hello, I'm Karl Malone.
I'm not very smart.
I'm the butt of every joke.
So that would be funny that he just
got the math wrong and pedophiled.
But he did have children with the children.
He got them pregnant.
I bet being like Alex Rosen,
one of the pedophile hunters,
I bet it's
fun when you start because you're like,
yeah, I'm catching a bunch of these guys.
But I bet it's like
staring into the abyss after a while where you probably have a
sensation where you're like,
for every one of these,
every one of these Hydra heads that I chop off three more sprout up in its
place.
Like this will never,
there are way more of these people than I thought there were.
But I never,
I never looked at my own.
Uh,
I had a friend show me they're like,
uh,
like the sex offender map that you can look up online.
He was showing me his own neighborhood.
He's like, look, there's someone fucking over here.
I was like, I should look up my own house and see who's around me.
I never did because I almost don't want to know.
I don't have kids.
What if your next door neighbor
raped a middle-aged
bodybuilder?
I'm going to check it out right now.
What if he likes big-headed,
not even that overweight guys?
What if you're his type?
That could be a problem.
I'd want to know if that guy was next door.
That's fair.
I'm stronger than all my neighbors.
Many of them are boomers.
I live in no fear of my boomer neighbors.
They're not going to get me.
At least not going to rape you.
Yeah.
Well, I guess they could kill me or something,
but I don't think...
We're on good terms.
We all know we're wrong.
Do you have a yard of the month club?
Like a ward and everything? No. We have a yard of the month club? Like a ward and everything?
No.
We have a yard of the month club.
Have you ever won yard of the month?
My yard's not bad.
It's actually a competent yard.
It's perfectly green with no missing spots or weeds or anything,
and it's always kept cut.
But the people who win it go above and beyond.
They're doing horticulture out there they've got lots of wildflowers and shrubbery and landscaping
done so no they did not i've never won yard of the month one of my neighbors takes absolute
impeccable care of his yard and i hate how it makes my yard look in comparison. Yeah. So who knows?
Maybe he must be a bad guy.
He's trying too hard, fucking up the curve for everybody.
I like mowing.
You guys like mowing?
I just got a new mower.
Not really.
What'd you get?
I got a little electric mower for inside my pool fence.
So I have a big yard.
And so I mow it mostly with commercial level zero turns and a tractor with a bat
wing. But inside the pool I had nothing
and it got kind of out of control. So I bought
a little electric one thinking it'd be easy
and it worked. Did the job.
I use a side. It's cool.
Fuck yeah, dude. Eastern European
style.
Break out the old accent.
In his off time.
So mowing is part of your relaxation, I guess, behaviors, Caleb?
You really like it?
Yes.
I grew up as a farmer boy, and I just bought 104 acres,
and I have a 15-foot bat wing.
I take it back.
I don't have a big yard.
It's way too big.
I'm tired of it already.
I bought a tractor and a
commercial lawnmower and i'm like this is really fun and then the lawn starts to get well which
which one with the lawnmower how many horsepower is your tractor 75 nice 45 over here yeah yeah
so that's that's probably yeah my dad basically forced me to get a really nice tractor
is it air conditioned and everything yeah it's a cat it's a
cab it's a 5075e john deere and the it's a 15 foot rotary batwing john deere and then the uh
it's like the base level um 60 inch uh commercial john deere uh fucking yeah yeah so we have a 72
inch john deere commercial zero turn and a 12 foot bat wing
but on a 45 horsepower mower sometimes you're moving slow with that 12 foot oh yeah
yeah like five miles an hour four three three and a half like where the we have a septic system
where the grass is like wildly thick i'll stop talking about yards soon everybody and uh and
i'll literally go like one mile an hour
with the bat because the grass it doesn't like it how did you realize your passion for mowing
or is it a passion for mowing or is it a passion for tractors because i see the tractor
aspect it's it's a passion for just not having to listen to women yap really is what it is, I've got to say. That's pretty much what it is.
Men, men, men.
Do you need urine protection in a cab, tractor?
I wear headphones regardless, but I feel like it's probably just on the cusp of being damaging for your ears, I'd say.
Okay.
I used to mow hay with my dad and bale hay and stuff, so it's just been something I've always done.
What kind of farm was it?
Like a cattle farm or livestock?
Like a pretend farm, kind of.
My grandparents have 150 acres in Virginia and like on the West Virginia border.
And they had like some cattle, some just a bunch of random stuff.
No, it wasn't like profit driven or anything like that
but my dad's a team roper so we would like have cattle for that uh and bale hay for horses mainly
a horse farm i would say i guess oh that's cool horses so did you much of it what was it i i said
how much of it do you mow like you probably probably don't keep all 104 acres, like a yard.
No, uh, I have, I like two acres basically. That's a yard that's like irrigated.
And then the rest is just batwing, uh, that I mow like once every month, basically.
So the other 102 acres you mow like a problem, uh, probably, probably 60% of it is like coastal
fields. So yeah, it is coastal fields.
So yeah, it gets mowed.
Good.
Wow, that is a big job.
A lot of work.
My dad does a lot of it, to be fair.
He does the road because I'm a danger to myself.
If you're mowing hay, you cut giant fields.
Oh, yeah.
Crazy. My dad used to do that and i would i would help some i i did not enjoy that job that just endlessly riding a tractor all yeah
you'd be like a 40 acre big square field you're just making circles
oh nowadays i think there's gps that help the tractors but it's not me i just yeah i'm there trying i try to
maximize it right i have 12 foot i try not to have more than like 6 or 12 inches of overlap
between the other one so you're really paying attention the whole darn time making yes even
stripes and you're just looking behind you and it hurts your neck eventually it just gets it's
really nice for like the first 30 to 45 minutes and then it's just like all right
yeah i'm ready to not do this anymore are you gonna run over an animal with your mower
last weekend what'd you mow a rabbit yeah there was a dead rabbit in front of the guest house
and uh um i don't know i was told about it and I'm like, I got a good
guess on how this happened. And then when I
saw the body, I was like, all but
confirmed. I mean, yeah, they
freeze, they freeze up
and you just run
right over them and chop them up. We would
see stuff all the time, like especially the babies
because the more we'd pass over them,
kind of set them to the side and like maybe
your mom will come back kind of thing.
But rats would run out too,
so you'd keep a gun with you on the tractor
so you could shoot the rats as they ran out.
Rat shot, yeah.
Yeah, that's fun.
That's a pretty tough shot.
Pistol?
Yeah.
Rat shot, little pellets.
.357, just...
I feel like I would kill one rat per six shots fired, maybe.
Probably.
And there'd be an escape rate, too.
High escape rate of a rat.
If you add cattle in,
you won't have to mow as much.
And goats.
Are you going to add animals?
I have three cattle yet right now.
You want a mule.
Because the mule will defend
everything against any predators. And they do all that stuff, too. you want a mule because the mule will defend everything
against any predators
and they do all that stuff too
apparently mules are just better than horses and donkeys
or whatever they're just like superior
third party animal
especially as a pack animal
Texas
camel
alpaca
any African game
Gimsbok, Neil mean any type of fucking
crazy giant shit yeah uh we're trying to figure out what we want to put on it it's like we've
started with a we have this little stupid cow that my mom got for me it's it was like beaten
to shit literally like a punching bag while it was a baby it was being birthed and its mom was
just like running around smacking it against trees and shit it took a couple weeks for it to learn how to stand
up but now he's doing all right his name's ace and he's probably 40 of how big he should be
uh and he is very ornery he's really he's a huge asshole but he's cool i like him and then we have
two uh little hairy highland cows do you have to do you have to bottle feed that guy uh he's he's cool. I like him. And then we have two little hairy Highland cows. Do you have to bottle feed that guy?
He's grown out of that at this point, but he was bottle fed for a long time.
That's a Highland cow.
The little hairy ones?
The long hair ones.
You should get one of those Belgian blues.
Those are amazing.
Hold on. I can't get past the cow thing.
Is this like an investment are you
raising them are they sometimes i've heard them called yard ornaments you know like cows yes
they're useless they are uh they are i did we will use them allegedly but that's just for
sales tax for uh for ag for ag exemption uh but they're they're just cool i bought them my my uh
my girlfriend
really loves them so i just got them for her and i was like this is a cool first start you know
104 acres is neat like that could be the start of generational wealth i know not all texas land
is super expensive but it sounded like you got water you know coastal something yeah there's a
there's a pond we're actually six minutes from town, which is pretty awesome.
It's beautiful. I'm incredibly grateful.
It's very, very, very cool.
Yeah. Well,
I predict and hope that it turns into an amazing investment for you.
I appreciate that. Yeah, I certainly hope so.
Do you hunt at all?
Oh, yeah, man. When you said mules,
I've purposefully set up...
My mom tries to get my
girlfriend to get mules and all sorts of shit that makes a bunch of fucking noise but i'm like
don't do that because i want other animals shut up idiot i have uh hogs uh a lot of hogs huge
hog problem and it's just we it's like a continuous weekly sort of thing we partake in
not a lot yeah what do you do with the bodies uh we we will knock the loins out
and cook the loins uh and then just use it as bait grind them grind up pieces and just
have fun with it basically you put them in like a grinder yeah for an end loader on the tractor
that you just carry the log and you loins does that mean like back the tenderloin yeah the back
straps from the from the city yeah just like the big muscles on it like the deadlift muscles yeah
just like the whole back of the animal basically just cut into it feel the skin back and then just
kind of lightly trim it out they also have an inside let's call it inside loin but it's like a
it's pretty good actually um it tastes solid you don't need to like brine it or anything like that
man you've set up a fun life that's awesome dude you know i'm i'm known as like the cult guy on
youtube people always think i'm like the cult guy because i have all these people i've got like 50
employees and shit and like i try to get my friends to move here a lot uh because it's like
a really small town that i'm in um and uh the town kind of
likes me and so we might there might be some kind of conflict eventually with the federal government
haven't decided yet but uh we're just i'm joking it's like i'm just making a cult reference
okay i was very i was buying it hook line and sinker
yeah no it's yeah yeah it's it's cool
i i really it's beautiful i love it i want to keep doing more it's fun yeah there's wild
things going anywhere either like there's such a they reproduce and they're so so quickly and
they're so hardy that they're not going anywhere they're so good at surviving they're good they
would they don't have any predators, really.
They would need to do... I don't know. There's some program where they drop all of
these hookworms or something,
boar beetles, that
can't reproduce. They're sterile
to keep the boar beetles from moving
north into the U.S. and ruining
our trees, I guess. You would need to do something
like that to the pigs. You need to ruin their
breeding cycle somehow. What could we put
in there that feasts
on pigs? Bears?
Maybe some sort of
pig herpes that makes
their dicks hurt real bad.
That's like the 28 Days Later
Skinwalker.
Doc, I got pig herpes!
I promise it's not what you think!
I fucked a pig! Well, promise it's not what you think. I fucked a pig.
Well, I guess it is what you think.
Yeah, no, bears would eat them.
Tigers.
I know there's tigers in Texas.
Lions and tigers.
Yeah, lions.
All high fence, though.
I don't have a high fence,
so I can't put any exotic game legally yet.
I mean, down the road, though.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, it's like $100,000 to do it.
It's crazy how expensive it is.
It's wild.
Like per foot.
It's probably some silly number.
Yeah, because they're really, really high.
I don't know.
Are they 10 or 12 feet or something
the ones i've seen it's like oh yeah that keeps steering because a lot of those people have that
like you mentioned that african game and stuff that can really fucking jump and bound and clamber
yeah you gotta keep that stuff in not only because your neighbor probably doesn't want a
african buffalo in his yard but also because you don because you don't want to lose your African buffalo.
Yeah, they're valuable.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, it's cool.
I really want to, eventually, I think it would be cool to have some kind of high fence with
Axis and Neil Guy and stuff like that.
But Neil Guy are awesome because they're large, they're hardy, they thrive in the Texas climate.
They're delicious. They're very, they're very very very very very good um and they look fucking cool i i'm looking at them on you on google right now
i've never heard of a neil guy until just now neil guy yeah they're very they're cool they're
um there's a lot of them south uh near austin outside of san antonio and san angelo and like all those kind of areas in the a little bit west there's a bunch of them south near Austin, outside of San Antonio and San Angelo and all those kind of areas.
A little bit west, there's a bunch of Neil Guy farms.
Texas must have.
It literally means blue cow
and it's the largest antelope in Asia.
Ubiquitous across the northern India subcontinent.
I wish I was home on its back.
Come on, Woody.
That's all I know.
That's one.
Why does it look so awkward?
You know what it does?
Because its head is so little, it looks jacked.
It's holding its head back like you smelled something.
Uh-huh.
They look funny.
It looks like they didn't finish.
It was like they ran out of time at the end.
And they just quickly did the front part.
They're so fucking delicious.
It's crazy.
What do they taste different from normal beef?
It's hard to even compare beef.
Have you guys had elk?
Yeah.
It's elky.
It's elky.
Very elky.
But still, it's hard to...
It's just so good.
I love it.
I think it's probably my favorite meat.
I had to choose one.
Then you need to buy at least four.
Get some breeding pairs.
That'd be fun.
Like RimWorld?
Yeah.
Some of those fucking new guy breeding pairs.
Texas must have really loose laws for owning various wild game and exotic animals, huh?
What laws?
Yeah.
Every now and then.
A while back, I was like, man, I kind of want a Capybara.
How much are they?
They're cheap.
They're like a dog.
The same cost as a dog.
And I keep reading about how cool they are and how they're just friendly with every other animal.
There's that famous picture on Reddit of one hanging out with a caiman, one hanging out with all of the wildlife in the area.
The capybaras not just chill with it, but seemingly friendly with.
They're like sidled up and snuggling
with crocodiles and shit.
I've seen the pictures of them chilling in hot springs.
Yeah, they love it.
They're like birds perched on their cute little heads.
And they have the sort of the
I don't know, the mentality.
Not the mentality.
They seem like dogs. You can scritch them on the head
and they enjoy that and they want to hang out with you.
But you can't have them in Georgia. A a capybara largest rodents the largest
in the world i believe i'm with you except i didn't hear the animal at the beginning and you're
like oh they're really adorable they like swamps they have little birds i thought we're talking
about a hippo this whole time because they're adorable they're crap they're like dogs really
like no they're not hippos are. I read that article the other day
and it was like, Thomas James
raised the hippo from birth
for six years, every day,
spending time with it.
And then one day it drugged Tom into the water and ate him.
Dude, I don't
feel bad for that guy at all.
He fucked with the hippo.
He went to Africa,
got a hippo, cared for it
free. Do you know how many
people were warning him? They're like,
you should not be doing this.
It is going to fuck you up.
I feel the same, but do you feel bad for
Steve Irwin? Yeah.
I love him. He was doing his job.
I do feel bad.
I choose my bad.
I feel bad for all of them.
No, not the hippo guy.
Everybody knows hippos are the most dangerous thing ever.
And this guy was almost a PR person for hippos where he's like, look, it's a gentle, kind-souled animal.
And it's how it's – he's making like a pit bull argument.
It's how it's raised.
And it's like, no, it's a fiercely territorial animal.
I might change my mind if I do everything you did.
But I really view this guy as a
fellow bad decision maker and i have some empathy for his standpoint i've broken every arm and leg
everyone knows i routinely do dumb shit right but that's how life is lived this guy was doing
he beats the perhaps of his own marches to the beat of his own drummer you but you're doing dumb shit
where you're still in control like you're in the air flying and you're you're deciding how you fly
like when you take a hippo a full-grown hippo into your care like what happens every day is
whatever that hippo decides happens the universe and i wrestle for control of how my shit goes
that's what they should have
asked women instead would you rather run into a hippo or a man in the woods because bears might
run away or bears might just be so full from fish or a kill they're just like have a stomach ache
and they couldn't bear to eat you i saw a picture of a bear hugging a man because it had just spent the last week with women no more like like if he's
spending all day eating a honey and he sees you he's just like oh i couldn't bear it i couldn't
couldn't not another not another drop human but like a hippo i feel like every time i see a video
of people interacting with a hippo it's aggressively trying to murder them and it can't yeah yeah and they're they're just
fucking scary looking their heads are like these giant things they're just they're they're actually
mind-boggling yeah they got actually you've seen the ladies at the zoo feeding them melons now
those seem like oh dude yeah they seem nice that's true stick your head in there game the
hungry they opened their mouth to get their teeth brushed and shit. But that's what the guy thought, who had a hippo pet.
That's what he thought, too.
He played so much Hungry Hungry Hippo.
Maybe he was fucking that hippo and nobody knew,
and the hippo just had to give him the nut.
Hey, question.
Question.
Manatees.
Where are you guys at on manatees?
I'm pro.
Oh, big time pro manatee.
I think those boats should...
I think they should have more and more regions in Florida
where the boats can't go,
or they should design a new propeller that has a housing or something so they
agree chopping those four manatees up yeah i like you know what do you think about uh
propagating manatees spreading them out get them to expand more than better yeah i like them they're
called they're called the ribeye of the sea did you know that they're delicious called that people
and people are called long pill in Papua New Guinea.
You're wrong.
I've heard this so many times.
They're called the ribeye of the sea.
And they make excellent lovers as well.
That's why I was pro-manatees.
Normally I'm not into patricks, but for manatees, I'll make an exception.
I think there's a market for some kind of business for manatees.
Just put it out there.
Could it be like choosing
your own lobster?
Something.
Something like that. I think they're delicious.
I mean, I think I've heard that they're delicious.
I don't know. I've never had one.
I think they are actually called, are they
like sea cows, right?
Yeah.
Can you imagine you go out there and throw like a head of lettuce in the water and choose your own manatee?
We're taking a bath on this manatee project.
A steak's only 16 ounces.
These things weigh 3,000 pounds.
I just feel like they would be so delicious.
And that's like the myth of mermaids is that they're just manatees
because they got them like woman pussies.
Oh, do they?
Oh, allegedly.
We didn't know this aspect of it.
We thought it was a little manatee pussy.
I don't think I'll need to be.
That's a good thing.
Make sure you bring it.
Zach, go ahead and pull up manatee clam.
Pull up manatee pussy.
Bing manatee pussy. Pull up manatee pussy. Bing manatee pussy.
Turn off blur.
No, I guess I would be a hypocrite if I would say I wouldn't eat any animal other than dog.
Dogs are our friends.
Can't eat dog.
Korea's got to get their shit together on that.
I've been there.
None of these are manatee.
These are all humans.
I'd recognize it anywhere.
Well, if it comes down to a person or a dog, I would have to eat what person, actually?
It's a random person that's also in the plane.
What if it's like a well-marbled Dan Schneider?
We go down in the Andes.
All right, here's the scenario.
Our plane goes down in the Andes.
We're not going to get rescued for weeks at least.
And holy shit, one of them soccer players is dead out there in the snow.
We didn't know him, but man, is he fit. Those okay his back strap can you imagine but there's also a labrador who's still
alive okay well then yeah we're gonna prioritize the dead guy because the lab will be fresher
later and actually the worst kind of human to eat would be like an endurance runner
or a soccer player because you you know how you can get like rabbit starvation like you'd get that
there's a fat there's because they're so lean they don't have any fat content on them you would
crack his bones open get his marrow you'd honestly want someone who looks probably more like to eat
toby would eat his nuts taylor would get so good at cracking the human bones open like crab legs.
Get that marrow out.
Taylor, how are you gaining weight?
You guys are so...
Aren't brains made of fat?
Yeah, but I think
if you eat human brains, you get
prion disease, right?
Well, if they had a prion. Yeah yeah you can't eat the well if they had a
prion if yeah you don't take the risk though i don't know the internet's made me believe those
are like i'd risk it pretty common but i know they're not prions yeah well they're just a it's
just a simple protein that's why they're scary and they can just kind of like they just like
they came into existence it's kind of weird they're very mysterious prions are very mysterious
interesting there's a cow in scotland that recently testedions are very mysterious interesting there's a cow in
scotland that recently tested positive for mad cow and there's a man in michigan that tested
positive for that new bird flu or whatever so dude so much less scary than mad cow really
yeah mad cow's the one that like eats your brain up right i have a good bird flu a little fucking the orange juice yeah yeah they have to
yeah mad cows also i believe a prion i think i think it is chronic wasting disease it's one of
the and it's caused by the shitty way agriculture is done like they feed cows ground up cows and
they feed cows chicken shit they let you know weird they will feed cows chicken shit. They will feed cows chicken shit mixed in with feed.
It's regularly done.
I've done it.
Dumb question, Kyle.
Is it done on purpose?
They literally are like, oh, chicken poop is
for food?
Because it's expensive to feed cows through the winter.
If you mix in a big bucket of chicken shit
in with a whole bunch of hay,
they don't seem to mind.
But there's calories in it.
Or food.
Well, they eat grass normally,
so chicken shit can't be
that much less caloric than grass.
My grandpa was not feeding
his cows chicken shit.
He was giving them sweet feed.
Sweet feed, motherfucker.
Through the winter, he just had sweet feed? Well, a giving them sweet feed. Sweet feed, motherfucker. Through the hay, he just had, through the winter,
he just had sweet feed?
Well, a ton of sweet feed. Well, hay a ton
of the time, too. They only get sweet feed when it's time
to steal their babies.
I think
the
chickens, probably the way that their
bodies and brains work, because they have like a really,
they're birds, they have really probably, I assume
bizarre digestive systems, so their shit probably has
some of the nutrients that cows need because their ruminants i would assume some genius
figured out that you can safely feed cattle shit uh for a period of time obviously and then there's
you know you get some derivations yeah i don't think it's unhealthy for them i think you end up
with a wet
market type scenario although i saw someone point this out the other day no one went back and
apologized to the wet markets after we found out that it was a fucking lab lab that made the
coronavirus like no one went back to those poor chinese wet market salesmen with their like eight
levels deep of iguanas and bats and parrots all shitting on each other.
They do deserve an apology.
There was so much libel and slander.
There was so much.
They were just sitting there eating the same shit
they've been eating for a millennia.
And then suddenly they're like,
hey, you can't eat bat wings anymore.
And they're like, aww.
Aw, really?
And they're like, oh.
Oh, really?
They spoke English. That's cool.
Prisoner, shitty little market.
Big shout out to the wet market.
We love wet market.
Do you know that the same cave in Africa
I was going to say the same cave
in Africa is responsible for both
Ebola and something called like Marburg virus or something like two separate human viruses that are a real problem.
Came from the same cave of bats in Africa.
And the cave is still there.
We haven't sealed Team Six in for those bats.
Let's fill that shit up.
Fill that shit in.
Yeah.
Actually, what's going on in those shit up fill that shit in yeah yeah actually
what's going on in those who's living near those caves what do they need to hit that one of those
vacuum bombs they were using again afghanistan jesus yeah dude daisy cutter um why do we need
there's a uh that's true there's always something. Except for ticks. Ticks, pointless.
Sorry, I misunderstood.
They have to be the worst.
Yeah, wasps kind of suck too, as far as I know.
Yeah.
They keep spiders and
hornworm, like a lot of things that
infect fruits and
vegetables and gardens
and things, wasps will kill them.
Interesting.
I think ticks, we hate ticks i think we can ticks are a favorite food source of chickens turkeys and uh message fade
in reedley california have you guys heard about the bio lab that was there there's a bio lab in
reedley california are they getting ballsy with diseases or something it was a legitimate chinese bio lab that was operating in a small town in california um and a like compliance officer
just saw a fucking hose hanging out of the wall and was like that's not good got the proper permits
went in and there was like refrigerators that said eb Ebola and freezers that had like every single disease.
And the CDC and the federal government refused to look into it at all.
And it was a legitimate Chinese fucking bio lab in Ridley, California, amongst like 40 or 50 that have been sort of reported since then.
Holy shit.
It's pretty wild.
I don't have a video about it.
since then um holy shit it's pretty wild video about it uh if you look up really by really r-e-e-d-l-e-y biolab you'll find information on it
man it's crazy all that hullabaloo about about masks and stuff and now we're letting china set
these up in california obama's this is obama's america this is fucking obama's america yes i blame obama yep
and uh the guy who owned it he went to he got in trouble he was already wanted um for some for some
like fraud shit and he got in trouble uh and it was all shut down because he was buying expired
test kits and selling rebranding them and selling them like covid tests and herpes tests and shit like that. Dude was a legend.
Not herpes tests.
This guy knows how to make money.
This guy's a Wall Street money never sleeps
kind of guy.
That's literally a Sopranos scheme. Remember they were buying
those pharmaceuticals that were expired from the Canadians
and then repackaging them and selling them
in the US?
Well, that's not good.
Even Tony wouldn't open a lab like that though yeah he
would no tony he'd be too worried about it he would he wouldn't he would be hands-on but you
know if he just had you know what paulie and sill would have handled you're right he would park his
assets yeah and then uh fucking what christopher would like get high on drugs and then like leave the door open like
Tony I'm sorry I didn't know how many test monkeys escaped Christopher 37 test monkeys
all full of AIDS Christopher it's like he's fucking free or something how about
have you guys heard of the by one of your AIDS monkeys. Have you heard about the fucking AIDS monkeys in South Texas?
The 200,000 Japanese snow monkeys down there that are like wild in South Texas?
Oh, no.
I made that part up.
But there's like a 200,000 strong tribe of Japanese snow monkeys in South Texas, which is awesome.
That's cool.
I would buy a couple of those.
That'd be awesome.
I've never heard anything bad about Japanese snow monkeys.
I've seen them hang out also in hot springs.
I can't imagine them being very comfortable in Texas.
They're red-faced.
Yeah.
Zach, can you pull up a picture?
I just Googled it, and they look dope.
Yeah.
Japanese snow monkeys?
Yeah.
I would love to get more monkeys, more apes in the United States.
They're tiny. Same. I think bring them back.
Bring them back.
Or bring them here.
Were they ever here in the first place?
I don't know.
They're really loading me up for bear here.
You have
the New World monkeys.
Look at him.
Those guys are sweet. Look at him.
That guy, not a care in the world. Moisturized in his lane. You have the New World monkeys. Look at him. Those guys are sweet. Look at him.
That guy, not a care in the world.
Moisturized in his lane.
That dude is high as fuck.
Look at him.
I like those guys.
But the monkeys we have here in the New World are like South American lemurs.
The long-tail, apprehensile-tail monkeys.
They're not nearly as cool as old-world monkeys and apes.
Stuff like chimps.
I'm not saying to bring chimps over. Oh, cool.
It's like a grandma monkey or something.
That's like...
Remember when the Nazi looks into
the Ark of the Covenant?
And his face melts like Crayola?
That's what he kind of looked like.
If a politician came out, like if Trump in it. That's what he kind of looked like. Yeah.
If a politician came out,
like if Trump was like, and I've been talking to a lot of people, a lot of people
they say we don't have monkeys. These other
countries, they've got monkeys. We're bringing them.
That's right, folks.
Yeah.
We need monkey breaks.
Everyone gets their own monkey
butler and trunks america
have any of you seen dunstan checks in i was in that film like oh my god was he in that i don't
know i thought he was in dunstan checks in he was a great movie yeah but i would think about
think of the boon to our our economy if we had monkeys and they kind of run around they do their
own thing not the dangerous ones the fun ones i don't like that we have to borrow pandas from
china i i kind of wish that we had our own i'm over pandas dude they don't even want to be here
well i i think we should let them die but but that aside you did you did see the the one zoo
that had pomeranians painted like pandas yeah that wasn't good for the panda credibility movement
dude that was so fucking cute that was so fucking cute it was like you know what i'm not even mad those come on let's
look at them you know i'm a little care did they try to pass them off yeah oh because pomeranian
puppies look like koala or panda cubs if you paint them and they did yeah i thought it was
like a goof like i don't know no i guess chinese haircuts to make
them look like lions i have this idea of china where everything is a bootleg copy or a fake to
some extent like like like like especially if you're on the periphery of mainstream like maybe
there's like a downtown nice rodeodeo drive in every Chinese city.
That's like,
Oh,
all this,
all this is real stuff.
But look at that.
That's fucking cute as shit.
Like dude,
I panda when that exists,
I am no zoologist,
but this is not fooling me.
No,
no,
you got to imagine you're on a,
you're up on the like raised platform area in the zoo.
And you're looking down into a pit.
Like they're down way below you,
like 12 feet down there. They're all, and they're mill down into a pit. They're down way below you, like 12 feet down there.
They're milling around with real pandas
seemingly. I was shocked that real panda
coexisted with Pomeranian puppies,
but they did. I mean, real pandas
won't even kill things to feed themselves.
I mean, come on. Look at that picture on the
right. Don't they eat bamboo?
Yeah. What do they
need to kill to feed themselves? Nothing.
That's what i was saying like
they're not gonna they're not gonna hurt the little fella all right on reddit on reddit two
or three days ago i saw the cutest fucking thing so there's this panda that has been raised
completely by humans because its mother rejected it or died or something and so when the zookeepers
would break its bamboo for it because when it when it was little it didn't know how they were
teaching it you know you need to break it like this the zookeeper it because when it was little, it didn't know how. They were teaching it.
You need to break it like this.
The zookeeper was going,
because it was hard to break the bamboo.
So now the panda does that
when he breaks his own bamboo.
He goes,
and no other panda makes the face.
Only the panda who learned from humans
who also through effort
were making a face.
I saw a video of that panda
like effortlessly break it and then I saw a video like that. Like effortlessly
break it and then forgot. I made
the face afterward.
It's so
goddamn cute. It's now
you've got me coming around on pandas again.
That panda should be the ambassador
for all pandas.
I mean, China
gets to kind of decide the panda ambassadors
because they hoard them like treasure.
He's from here.
You couldn't teach a panda to sign like they or actually what they lied about Coco the gorilla.
Don't look.
Do a deep dive on Coco the gorilla.
It's not deep dive Coco the gorilla.
The way you ruined Helen Keller for everyone.
Don't do that to Coco.
They were they were equal intelligence.
Helen Keller and Coco the gorilla. Everyone don't do that to Coco. They were, they were equal intelligence,
Helen Keller and Coco the gorilla.
They were both retarded.
And,
and there was,
uh,
yeah,
yeah.
Don't,
don't look into Coco the gorilla. If you want to like have a nice childhood memory destroyed.
Yeah.
Cause let's just say if you can fake something to get money and grants for
science, it's going to be faked. Oh yeah. Let's just say that they can fake something to get money and grants for science, it's going to be faked.
Oh, yeah.
Let's just say that.
They're going to get that money.
They've been talking to gorillas since the 60s, I think, with sign language, like various gorillas, and they've never asked a question ever.
It's because they're not talking.
They're like, if I move my hands in this pattern, I get food.
First of all, that's not true.
They respond to questions and commands that make
sense, but they've never
asked a question, which really gives you
a look into what's actually going
on there. Worthless. You know what happens when you
teach something to speak? Do you think gorillas have all the answers?
They already know, yeah.
But when you teach something to speak,
it asks questions inevitably.
No, when you teach
people to speak, they ask questions inevitably.
That's a gorilla, though.
If it has the ability...
I don't agree to find the word sentience.
Yeah, they're not sentient
if they're not asking questions.
This isn't Lion King, okay?
You're the one saying a fucking gorilla
is signing language and talking to people,
and you're saying I'm living in Lion King?
You're upset because it's not Rafiki
fucking drawing maps on its enclosure
or something like that. That thing can clearly
communicate. Have you seen the group that
I think it was actually a chimp that
showed a bunch of numbers and then it redoes the pattern?
Do you remember this?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yes, the chimpanzee
pattern recognition is insane.
Yeah, I love chimpanzees. Not recognition, but
representation. Their short-term memory, right?
Their short-term memory apparently is
wildly good, way better than
humans which you wouldn't expect they gave it they basically gave it a bop it you know bop it
pull it twist it and this thing's knocking it out of the park it was a board full of light
he's prepared yeah he had the screw it version too
but the board sort of flashed like star you know it's like broken up into quadrants
and it's like star circle fish triangle like and it blinked out like a 15
um symbol code and immediately the champ is like
and they give it a little treat he's like nom nom. And they just keep giving him more. And he'd be like, ooh, ooh, ooh. The cool study thing with the whole gorilla is it reminded me of the ants and sentience.
Have you guys seen, have you heard of that where the ants were in front of the mirror and they had a green dot?
They looked in the mirror, saw themselves, tried to get the green dot off of themselves.
So it's like the implication is that ants are sentient.
They are aware that they exist.
They recognize themselves. Yeah. Because dogs fail that test, Iient. They are aware that they exist. They recognize themselves.
Because dogs fail that test, I think.
Yeah, it's weird.
Dogs are stupid.
Yeah, but I love them.
In that regard,
that test in particular dogs are for it.
I bet there's some kind of dogs that do well on it.
Like a border collie, like one of the real smart ones.
I think it'd probably do that.
My dogs wouldn't do well on any test.
That motherfucker don't know a goddamn thing.
Try sneaking up on that guy with that peripheral vision.
That dude needs a retard helmet.
Have you ever seen the...
Oh, he's got a twin!
Have you ever seen those graphs where it's the animals,
how predator eyes look,
like the tiger's eyes like facing
forward and then like the prey eyes just like big bulbous on the side those are prey eyed
those are prey eyes yeah yeah that little one acts like an like an object like it's not a living
thing which one's the little one the little brown one okay yeah they're still cute and that's their
job yeah so i try to put them to work sometimes but they don't they don't work real hard they're still cute and that's their job yeah
I try to put them to work sometimes but they don't
work real hard
they're not helpful on the farm
yeah they're not
they don't plow well they don't guard
well they're fucking wild
they yap
and that is just about it
how many would you need to connect to like a sled
or a plow or a sled?
Something that's pulling you, I guess, before.
Because I always think about in the Hobbit movie when the brown wizard had that whole thing of rabbits pulling his chariot.
Radagast.
Radagast, yeah.
I'd say 20.
That was a frustrating scene to watch.
I really hated that.
Yeah, you didn't like the no I did not like
Madagascar
it was just the CGI ridiculousness of it
what about when he was like these are sons
of rabbits and then they cut to
a chase scene yeah
he's like hauling ass and he's like
sliding out like it's NASCAR
not NASCAR but Rally
Return of the Jedi
it was so dumb.
I don't like Hobbit.
They did a really bad job.
Somehow the wargs
looked like shit in that scene where they had actually
looked better in the trilogy.
Yeah, the wargs looked awesome in the original
Lord of the Rings. They did a great job.
There's that one scene where Legolas jumps
on the back. He does that
lifty-loo thing.
No, not on the warg.
It's when he mounts the horse.
I think Aragorn's riding by and he grabs the horse in a funny way and flicks himself onto it.
That scene always looked weird.
I don't like them changing movies.
I think what George Lucas did over the years was pretty shitty to the Star Wars trilogy.
But I kind of wish they'd go back and fix that green army, that ghost army.
I wish they'd make that look a little nicer.
Like, don't change anything.
Don't cut it.
But like, just overlay on top of the green army that looks bad, a green army that looks more real if that's all that they did yeah and there was some sort of you know
legally binding life in prison thing where it's like you can only change the green army i'd be
okay with it but they'd go in and they'd add in like cgi orcs that ruined the immersion in mordor
and they'd add in like other uruk-hai into the into the end of the first one like everything
else has got to stay realistic effects because that's what hobbit sucks yeah i hated hobbit just because of that how about that me yeah same i've watched the
lord of the rings extended every year since i've been alive basically and the fucking hobbit i
watched it i didn't it didn't even i couldn't even finish it i was like this is ass this is
terrible it's terrible when it's on i'm actively upset. I'm like, we gotta turn this off.
This isn't even a background movie.
I don't watch Lord of the Rings shit that's not canon.
That's why I never even turned on that Amazon show.
Because they're like, it's Lord of the Rings,
but with an Amazon writer room twist.
And it's like, fuck you.
No, it doesn't need that.
I'm okay with not canon.
Just add to the canon.
I'm totally cool with it.
Lord of the Rings universe is a pretty good one.
And there's only so many
stories, and the guy that wrote it is very dead.
They're not just adding stories.
They're changing the old characters.
Now Galadriel's a bad bitch.
That's what I'm looking for.
But if they were like,
hey, here's what happened
way before
all this happened or way later
I don't know
they could use that
they're making another trilogy right fucking now
Peter Jackson's making his
new trilogy and it's gonna suck
we're not gonna like it
and it's just gonna be bad
it's gonna be too expensive to make those movies again
I think
have you actually made any good movies since? and it's just going to be bad. It's going to be too expensive to make those movies again, I think. To do all that live action shit.
Have you actually made any good movies since?
I didn't like any of them.
I don't even remember what he made.
I didn't like King Kong.
He made King Kong with Jack Black,
and that's really all I can think of.
Didn't he do District 9?
No, that was Neil.
Yeah, it was Neil.
Okay, well then I don't know.
He followed him on Twitter for like a week.
He's also made some bad movies.
You should have told him what you thought. I i was like i love district nine that just ignored
everything else and he district nine's really good i wish they'd make a sequel to that that
that movie on such a small budget oh we were talking about terminator one the other day
woody and how you were you were saying how bad it looked at at certain scenes to stop at the
stop motion motion was there there's a scene that looks really bad.
That movie was $7 million to make.
Wow.
I wonder what that is, inflation adjusted.
I mean, $14,
$20 million? Still real low,
right? I don't know.
What was $7 million in 86 or whatever?
I think it was made in 86.
88? Something like that.
You guys ever seen The Thing?
That is my favorite horror movie. Love Thing that's my favorite literally favorite movie
just of all time I love that movie so much
and Kurt Russell I want to be
Kurt Russell one day if it weren't for Lord of the Rings
The Thing might be my top
my complaint with The Thing
I love The Thing a lot I just
wish that there was 15 more minutes at the
beginning where we got to know those characters before the dog gets there.
Yeah.
That's what the second one's for.
No,
it's not.
That's from,
that's to watch Mary Elizabeth Winstead fight CGI for,
for 97.
It's terrible.
Yeah.
I do love the end of the first movie where you just don't know,
you don't know,
and you don't know,
you don't need to know.
And do they both die?
It doesn't matter. It's fucking amazing. I think Kyle andlor love the thing so i was i love that i must have watched the wrong one i don't think kurt russell was in it
yeah you watched the 2011 version that we despise yeah because that was such a big part of the movie
in some cold place like i don't know south pole or something they're back to back so one of them
was made in what fucking 84 84 yeah one of them's made 84 one was made like 2011 or so and what they
did the 2011 one is a prequel but i mean right before the events they lead into each other yeah
yeah they they touch um and so basically the prequel shows
what happened at the Norwegian-owned Antarctic station.
And the thing from 84 is Kurt Russell and his boys
at the American station that's like,
we don't really know how far away.
It's a short heli ride,
like a 20, 30-minute heli ride, it seems.
And so the problem that begins in the movie that
you watch from 2011 ends up in kurt russell's place and basically we don't know who's the thing
or how many things there might be and a lot of paranoia and you get kurt russell looking real
good with a flamethrower and he's hot it's pretty cool yeah he's not big beard john carpenter i
watched it pretty cool i i think
john carpenter said there was going to be a third one i think but i can't remember this was very
recently that i i read or heard that and i got really excited for a day and then forgot about it
but um that would be if it had kurt russell on it it would be really cool i think that's what like
the intention of the third one would be at tie it up. There's a few series where
Conan is another example
of where you've got Conan the Barbarian
that was very good.
Then you had Conan the Destroyer
that was a real letdown. It was a studio
I haven't seen those.
involved mess.
The idea for a third one where he's
King Conan and his current
old man look is super appealing.
They were talking about doing it before COVID, and I think that fucked a lot of things up.
Plus, now Arnold's five more years older.
I can't see him doing anything other than Allstate commercials from now on.
He's got a lot of loose skin now.
You could CGI his head.
We just really need the growth.
I feel like you don't need them at all.
I don't even know that Schwarzenegger does the best Schwarzenegger
impression anymore.
Someone else could do it better.
Son Joseph Bane
probably could do it better.
Is that the Jack Maid one?
Yeah.
Get him in the mix.
His other kid's also an actor. He was uh gen gen v is it gen v or gen
z generation v yeah yeah patrick schwarzenegger he's pretty cool yeah are you guys still watching
that are you are you going to be out of the superhero no so look i'm out of the marvel
universe and mostly the dc universe like the standard comic- shit, I don't want to see the Flash do a new
thing. I don't need to see Batman or
Superman do a new thing. I know what they're going to do.
Just like I skipped this last
King Kong Godzilla
team-up movie where Godzilla's got
a power glove. It's like, what are you doing?
This is a cartoon. I don't want to see this. You're making that up.
No, this is all real. Godzilla
and King Kong team up and
King Kong has a power glove.
It's on the poster. Like No, this is all real. Godzilla and King Kong team up, and King Kong has a Power Glove.
Okay.
It's on the poster.
Like Thanos?
No, no.
He doesn't have rings of power in it,
or like gems or anything.
He's just got a big... You know in Fallout, you get the...
The Power Glove.
He has the Nintendo controller that didn't work.
It looks a bit like that, yeah.
Okay.
Well, that sounds really... So I'm out of um you know the boys is a whole other thing and it
really kind of takes the piss out of superheroes itself and you know there's a there's a lot of
satire there uh you know about corporations and america and politics the last season ended with our fascist Superman
basically laser eyeing a
libtard and like
all of the MAGA guys are like
fuck yeah!
And he realizes like holy shit
I just let my mask slip which I always
thought was going to be the end of me
and they applauded.
And he has that realization and then the show
ends and it's like ooh I want to see next season.
So very subtle commentary.
Yeah.
You're right.
Yeah, he's a stand-in for Donald Trump,
which makes sense because he's all powerful
and has laser eyes.
And is not overweight.
His mommy is not overweight.
No, he doesn't fall asleep.
He prays in court every day for hours of the time.
Dude, 235
was the fakest news
that's ever been faked.
235?
You remember that?
He's not as fat now as he was
at peak President Trump fat,
but then he had his doctor come out
and he's like, I weigh 235.
A lot of professional wrestlers out, and he's like, I weigh 235, like a lot of professional wrestlers.
And then it's like, no, you're –
like at the time, I'm like, he's way fatter than me,
and I'm over 235.
His height.
I'm on trend.
Yeah, I'm on trend.
He's 6'8".
I'm 6'8".
He's got the largest son in America.
Good for him there.
Yeah.
His height is legit. My son is gigantic. I got the largest son in America. Good for him there. His height is legit.
My son is gigantic.
I got the biggest son.
I bet he's jealous.
He's like, why are you so jealous?
Oh, yeah.
It's perfectly normal to be jealous of your son's height.
That's not weird.
He makes him wear flip-flops everywhere.
What are you doing with those shoes?
Those shoes have at least an inch of heel.
We're not going out like that.
That is the kind of thing he would get
personally offended for. They'd be like,
your son's so tall. And he's like,
everyone's talking about Baron being tall.
Where do you think he got it from, folks?
This guy.
He's staying next to his six-foot-one
fucking Slovakian wife.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, yeah, no, he's really coming from that giant...
Yes, Kim is in the world.
As we edge closer and closer to November,
I gotta say, I'm glad I got my money
in the Donald Trump basket.
I really feel like he's staying strong.
I feel like when I read articles about him,
they're grasping at straws these days.
It's like, Donald railed against Donald drug.
And it's like, by who?
Who is mad about these things that you're referring to?
Donald Trump's sneaky thoughts.
Don't tell me the article begins with everyone super upset
and leaving Donald Trump because he did this.
And it's like, wait a minute. Where are those people that are upset?
Because last time I looked at a rally, they're wearing diapers.
They're like they're chanting, you know, like his rallies look legit.
It looks like there's a lot that when there's not enough people there, they would be making fun of that.
Remember how they'd show those pictures occasionally of Hillary at a really bad campaign stop that looked pathetic and i definitely saw bush at a few of not
um jeb bush i saw him at some pathetic campaigns we'd have a much thicker crowd okay we can go we
can take any major city in this in this country and have a better crowd than jeb bush telling
you right fucking now dude i've had birthday parties bigger than like my 30th had more people than like joe do you remember those like sad pictures where he's like
oh there's just there's nobody here because of covid and then like the covid ended and
nobody fucking shows it nobody even likes him i mean i'm gonna let the covid ones go because
the left did believe in the virus a lot more than the right did.
Well, the white left.
I remember the black people in huge crowds around that time.
They were really getting together.
Do you remember those articles that were like, stay inside to protect yourself from COVID?
Unless you're burning down a Walgreens, then it doesn't spread. The heat from the smoke
dissipates the virus.
Yeah.
If that happens again,
you want to go out there? You want to go out there and get
involved and steal fucking
cosmetics? Danny DeVito?
Walking out with skis?
If that happens again in St. Louis, I'm going to
win enrollment. I'm going to go down there
and I'm going to rob enrollment. I'm going to go down there.
I'm going to rob Target.
What would you want?
I don't know.
There's nothing at Target you can't have.
I'd take a really – I'd probably steal a really good TV.
Actually, I'd have to wake up early to get there for the TVs.
I'd probably end up with a fucking Keurig that I didn't even want.
But I'm going to leave with something so I can tell my kids someday.
It's like your father's a free fighter.
Where do you think that Keurig came from?
I beat
a minority senseless for it
in the toy aisle of a Walgreens.
To fight capitalism.
To fight capitalism and Wall Street.
And Wall Street.
We took Wall Street down a peg that summer.
Yeah, we hurt Wall Street's feelings.
They do not want me to walk out of there
with an entire display case of Snickers.
I see Biden
almost daily coming up with
some new program or something that's
good, like limiting
late fees. He does a good thing and it doesn't help him.
Yeah, he does a good... I'm glad that he's
getting them out of the way because he ain't got much time left.
He's doing all these good things. He made marijuana
class three.
From one to three.
Kyle got it right. Thank you.
Airline fees,
they have to refund you now if your flight's canceled.
Right now they have to give you the fucking money.
It could be weather.
Give them their fucking money back right now.
Right now. And the luggage fees too. Fucking all of their money them their fucking money back right now. Right now. Right now.
And the luggage fees too.
Fucking all of their money.
Either overdraft or late fees on credit cards capped at $8.
Okay.
I didn't know about that one, but I trusted it.
It's like one little thing like that after another.
It's like, hey, we can all get behind that, right?
I don't own a credit card company.
And people are like, I don't know.
Trump's for the little guy.
That's what I want.
Well, it's good that all the little guys are going to be taking that care.
That's his major accomplishment. Because the big guys are getting it next year. Because Trump's coming in. He made a lot what I want. Trump lowered corporate taxes. That's his major accomplishment.
Big guys are getting it next year because Trump's coming in
and made a lot of promises to a lot of billionaires.
Started the lockdowns.
If they tried lockdowns again, actually, who are we kidding?
People would just be like, okay.
They'd line up to their own party
like they did last year.
Yeah.
Out with the whimper, fellas.
Out with the whimper.
People in Missouri, no way they're slapping masks back on no it's not bad yeah like there were times like 20 i remember
talking to people like not from like the midwest or like red or states and being like they're like
when's this covet thing gonna end and i'm like it's been over here for a year and a half.
I only kind of
agree, because I bet if Trump
went the other direction, he's like, listen,
Lovid is not COVID. Lovid's
a new thing, it's dangerous, and I'm masking up.
Then it might just
reverse. It might be Democrats
drop the mask. She's dead.
She's dead.
Lani's dead. Good riddance, I's dead i don't know because trump did take like the whole uh
the whole lead up to the the vaccine thing trump was the one being like you know i'm the one behind
it it's the trump yeah yeah i'm the one i got got it done. I just envisioned a hypothetical America where Melania dies
and Donald Trump does The Bachelor
while in office.
I'd love that.
The highest rated...
I would never watch The Bachelor.
The idea
of it repulses me. I'd rather
just take a nap.
I like the idea that he bones all 28
women and decides he doesn't like them. Yeah. I'd rather just take a nap. I like the idea that he bones all 28 women
and decides he doesn't like them.
Yeah.
Who wants to be the first lady of the United States?
He's taking time away from things he's clearly needed for.
Golf.
During the filming of the show,
they're whispering in his ear,
no, no, no, I don't have time for that.
McDonald's.
He loves McDonald's. He does. Him and Bill Clinton, that's what they have in common. of the show they're whispering in his ear no no no i don't have time for that mcdonald's he loves
mcdonald's he does it was bill clinton that's what they have in common they love it delivered to him
like every day in court he's eating mcdonald's dude people make fun of trump's weight and i'm not
uh innocent in that either but it is hard to be fit when you're on the road that's true it's hard
to eat right like that if he gets elected again i think he'll surpass
even how fat he was i want to say like 2018 or 2019 was like peak of his weight because like
you would see like even at the time on the show i remember us looking at the comparisons and it's
like he was never a svelte guy but he wasn't like fat fat before becoming president and then he had
a window where he was like this this guy's fat as shit.
Not Chris Christie, but fucking gross fat.
Like if you saw Trump naked, you'd go,
If he trended that way for four more years,
if he had a second term, he might have accomplished Chris Christie.
That's what I'd love to see.
I'd love to see Trump get as fat as he can in office.
Just a big, gross.
He needs consecutive terms to do it.
He needs to serve two more terms.
12 years.
Exactly.
All right. He needs to pull a king a king moment let's make it happen yeah is it roosevelt who did a bunch of roosevelt yeah fdr yeah was it he didn't get over 16 help me out 12
yeah i thought well fdr he that was uh press old prescott bush Isn't it crazy that, so during FDR,
he was president,
we had world war two and then Prescott Bush,
the grandfather of a president we had for two terms and the father of a
president we had for one term tried to overthrow the United States
government.
Did he really?
1938.
It's called the business plot.
How,
how is that possible that you are even allowed
to be a president if your father and grandfather over tried to overthrow the government and at
some point between your son and grandson becoming president a president is assassinated and people
think it's the cia and the cia is then headed by the the son of that guy i mean it's the CIA, and the CIA is then headed by the son of that guy.
I mean, it's a real slippery slope if you start to look into anything at all.
That's interesting.
That is how things go, where you start looking into it, and you're like,
I'm learning too much.
I literally, and then that whole rabbit hole, I cannot explain it on this podcast,
but it goes back to the road.
And then that whole rabbit hole, I cannot explain it on this podcast, but it goes back to the road. I piece together ribbons of like this knowledge all the way back to Constantine, the first Roman emperor to convert publicly to Christianity.
Damn.
It's all talking in.
Like an, you know, Adam axis.
Charlie Kelly.
Like Charlie Kelly from the yard.
My yard and my cork board.
Be quiet.
My dog's worried about me.
There is no Carol in HR.
Not only are all of these people real,
they've been begging for their mail for weeks.
I want to know this Bush thing.
Was he trying to overthrow FDR?
Because he was like,
yo,
you've been in here for fucking 11 years now.
We're shutting this down.
Or what was his,
what was the impetus of him trying to do it?
I don't know.
Like the,
the full,
the full,
full impetus.
There's a bunch of committee reports and,
and,
and information onto it,
uh,
into it that I,
I can't,
you know,
I remember like the base sort of points.
That's how I,
I can't ever remember like real like the base sort of points that's how i i can't
ever remember like real actual important details of shit um but i know that he told he brought it
to a high-ranking person in the marine corps guy named smedley i think i think that was his name
yes smedley butler and smedley was like a public supporter of FDR and was an actual real man.
And he told them that they blew it all.
It failed.
But there was no repercussions and no one went to jail for treason or anything like this.
But their idea was to overthrow the United States government and instill like a sort of fascist kind of –
I don't know.
All those words meant drastically different things in the 30s.
Let me read this. It backs up everything you're saying.
The business plot was a political conspiracy in 1933 in the United States
to overthrow the government of Franklin D. Roosevelt
and install Smedley Butler as dictator.
Butler, a retired Marine Corps general,
testified under oath that wealthy businessmen were plotting
to create a fascist veterans organization with him as its leader and use it in a coup d'etat
to overthrow roosevelt that's lines up with everything you said yeah i said 38 i think but
yeah it's been a long time since i've read it and uh yeah i just keep adding shit into it but uh it's really weird and
then uh i mean the helicopter war post post jfk being assassinated you have the cuban missile
crisis jfk gets assassinated the helicopter war it's and then the helicopter war linda b johnson's
why i mean there's just like every single possible war this is all new uh vietnam oh vietnam's like
the first kind of helicopter war and and uh you know
how um dick cheney enriched himself from the iraq war yeah yes uh lbj's wife enriched herself from
the vietnam war yeah lbj and his his group was they're pretty sketchy dude they're they're all
sketchy yeah none of these they're all like evil. Like you look into any of the people who achieve this level of power and it's like, oh, that's how you got there.
You have no scruples.
No scrupulous.
Is it fishy when they're not wealthy?
Like you see these electric officials complaining about the price of rent in D.C. as if they haven't even mastered the basics of insider trading yet? I feel like they're faking it. They're like,
oh, what do the peons worry about? Groceries? I was on their side on that because the way they
laid it out is they have to maintain two residences, two wardrobes, two cars,
all these things and nothing. They're not able to write anything off. Nothing's deductible.
two cars, all these things, and they're not able to write anything off.
Nothing's deductible.
And if you keep it that way and you keep the pay that way,
and again, D.C. is very expensive to do all those secondary things,
especially if you're some guy from a smaller state.
But if you keep it that way, then only the rich can even afford to be politicians if you don't pay politicians enough so that
the guy who's coming from Omaha can
afford to have a residence in D.C.
or at least an apartment or something.
They're like UFC athletes. They're not supposed to get their money
from the company they work for.
It's an opportunity to make money
outside that company.
Come on, Kyle.
What is it?
It's a hot sauce.
What are you doing drink has whiskey?
What are you doing, Lindsey Graham?
We know what he's doing.
It's probably disgusting.
Yeah.
What did you call him?
Lady Bugs?
Oh, yeah.
Imagine that as like a pocket pussy.
It's the Lindsey Graham asshole.
Ooh.
See, business ideas are just coming out of nowhere
on this oh god i saw belle delphine was i think she was marketing a real doll of herself
and so obviously she's like getting naked with her own real doll and it's like sometimes you
can't tell which one's which it really is well done that's outstanding did you order one of
course i did eighteen thousand dollars it's on the way
is that really how much it was i have no idea i would guess they're like five six seven thousand
i think a regular one's five i think that's always a number how do you how do you even have
company over knowing that's in your closet yeah like i mean you bring it out have dinner with it
like lars and the real girl uh we need a girlfriend they're gonna see some
shit already reagan shutting down the drill though vast implications we need to open the
asylums back up daniel larson yeah yeah we have more daniel larson's i mean what the fuck can do
with we got all these we got all these chris chans bounding about society doing their own thing.
No, we need those Reagan asylums open back up.
Throw the crazies in there.
We can start just by cleaning the streets of the homeless people.
You're homeless.
You're clearly not well.
Go in this fucking nice facility.
We got Candyland and board games without sharp pieces.
Like, have a fun time and stay here.
And don't scream at me when I'm trying to enjoy brunch.
That's the American way.
Do you have a homeless problem there in St. Louis?
An unbelievable homeless problem.
I was going to guess.
And you know what's crazy?
The homeless here, the strong cull the weak.
And so the homeless here are winning at homeless society
first time i went to seattle and i saw their kind of homeless i'm like this is like a different
species of homeless they're like almost blasé about it where i'm like that guy has a decent
watch his shoes aren't even that dirty outdoor camper yeah this guy's like pretending for it
whereas like you go to like downtown st louis after a blues game and there's just a guy, his voice,
his gibbers echoing off the underside
of an overpass.
I'm like, this guy's standing so
close to the guy that's playing guitar
and then this other guy who's handing out
gum and I'm like, I'm not going to take gum from you. You're a homeless
person.
They're bad in Atlanta depending on where you go.
There's definitely two different schools of homeless. There's some of them that have totally they're like outdoor homeless i
mean they all are but yeah they live on the sort of the underpasses and they have these tent cities
um in in like tucked away places where they usually don't get bothered sometimes it'll be
like this island of trees completely surrounded by fast highway and it's like how do they get in and out of there but it keeps them from being bothered and but then
there's like the more metropolitan homeless i remember we would go to a hockey game or a
basketball game and then they have a smoking area you can go to at halftime on the exterior of the
building but they sort of cage it in because we all we all have tickets or you know they're going
to let us out and then back in again.
And that's kind of a tricky process for a game.
The homeless know that there's going to be people who can afford a basketball game and cigarettes outside.
And so they're just waiting.
It's like feeding time.
Yeah.
Raleigh doesn't seem to have any homeless anymore.
Like if you talked to me a year ago, I'd be like, yes, I can tell you right where the exit is
that they tend to go.
They found a little patch of ground
that's not really near any other like commercial
or residential real estate.
And there was like a camp there.
And if you look through the trees,
especially in the winter when you can see further,
farther, then you can see like the tents and stuff.
Then Raleigh went in there
with some over the top amount of dumpsters
like nine and they cleaned up tons of stuff and i'm like you just stole everything from them i
felt sympathy for the homeless and now i don't know where they went to they problem solved
i don't know where they are for the winter but that's not solved maybe it's like just the st louis homeless
i've seen but every time i see someone say like a lot of these people are just a a fucking tie
and a planet fitness birdbath shower away from working at a you know respectable business i'm
like what where yeah where are the yeah haircut away like where are these homeless people because the ones i see are in are crazy people who you can't like like if you have a young child walking with you you
would get nervous over it because you'd be like i don't know what this erratic lunatic might do he
could he might sing at me he might lash out and try and strike feces he might throw feces at me
he might try and eat my face like that Florida guy.
Yep, true.
You can't be letting these people roam about.
Oh, like that other guy.
We need to get him in a big field
somewhere and let him run free.
Remember that train accident
the other day
where there were like
that homeless man
unconnected to the crash
picked up a dead man's leg
and was carrying it off
and eating it actively.
That's crazy.
And the police had to
take the leg from him.
Yeah, that guy's a future
Barnes and Noble employee.
Just a shower away. There's video like that. They're like, hey, get leg from him. Yeah, that guy's a future Barnes & Noble employee. Just a shower away.
They're like, hey, give that leg back.
I saw that.
I don't know how you fix somebody's drug addiction.
Apparently that's pretty hard to do, but that's what they are from the job.
They don't seem crazy or even that stupid.
They're just addicted.
I hope they get that meth head from last week to come on and talk to us some more because we were getting right to the heart of the fun of doing methamphetamine and I wanted more.
You guys had a meth head on last week?
Very briefly. One of Gavin McInnes' friends is a meth head and he briefly came on after Gavin was on and we asked him some meth related questions as you do like they were all meth related
and he you know he seemed to have his head on straight
yeah why did he go to prison
meth
I thought it was stealing
no it wasn't he's like you know it's not a bad guess
but it wasn't stealing it was something else
I thought it was just
meth related like probably being high
on meth in public
which is really off you guys it's really
off-putting to see someone clearly on meth in public can you identify somebody on meth i wouldn't
be able to you can tell because they're jittering about and they're tweaking like like you can like
like a homeless like not homeless like a heroin addict someone who just shot up or is like taking
a bunch of bootleg pills they're gonna do to do that. Like, like, you know,
where you see the people standing and like those Philly streets or some
documentary,
they're all leaned over like this,
like almost catatonic.
That's a heroin addict.
A meth addict is going to be like screaming to himself about something on
the street corner,
making everyone feel really uncomfortable about it.
Which one's similar to morphine?
Heroin.
Heroin.
Heroin. Yeah. But the and both opioids very very opiates
morphine does nothing I you know
I get hurt a lot so they give me morphine
and this is
accidents not like bad back
and I've never noticed any
difference from that freaking hospital button I thought it was
a placebo oh the button is
definitely some weak shit
okay when they are loading up yeah
when i was when i was all burnt up and they were about to scrub all the skin off they gave me so
much morphine it you i i remember being overwhelmed with the giddy warm golden you're fucked up
feeling and then no memory of the event like it took my memory away. I don't remember them
removing the skin from my hand.
I remember coming to
after and all bandaged up.
One of your dogs is humping the other dog.
Yeah, it's been doing that for some time now.
They wrestle.
They wrestle.
My parents used to wrestle when I didn't knock on the door.
Man, mom's
dogs.
It's always funny.
I saw Shane Gillis' show
got released onto Netflix last night.
I watched an episode or two, but
it was okay.
Some of his other comedian buddies show up,
and that's kind of annoying. I really wanted him to be
the only person I know
amongst a bunch of actors. I think Andrew Schultz shows up, and maybe some other annoying. I really wanted him to be the only person I know amongst a bunch of actors.
I think Andrew Schultz shows up and maybe some
other people. It's okay.
It's what you think. It's a poorly run
tire shop that he's
really uncouth
in. They're trying to attract more
female business and so they go
about that in the worst way possible, obviously.
You know who I appreciate
more and more all the time? Adam Sand dude i fucking love adam sandler i didn't 10 years ago i was like i sold
out to netflix you just make shitty films that aren't i love him no dude like his stuff is
consistently good and sometimes great have you ever halloween was pretty jack and jill was jack and jill might be the worst movie ever
made um and he'll be halloween's close oh it's terrible however i don't know what i will say
is adam sandler is a good actor when he wants to be and he sticks by his boys like he made
hundreds of millions and then he was like david spade rob schneider chris rock for some reason
because you got money but but maybe his divorce, he didn't.
Y'all all have... Oh, and then
King of Queens guy, whatever his name is.
All of those guys get a part in
every one of his movies forever.
They're always in his movies
getting paychecks way more than
what they're worth in the market, I'm sure. He takes care of them.
Punch Drunk Love is his
best movie.
No.
His stand-up is his best movie. I watched it. No. Dude.
10 years, 15.
His stand-up is great as well.
I don't know if it's an acquired taste,
but I have watched his stand-up special called 100% Fresh
probably 100 times, not ironically.
It's just been on in the background.
And all the songs, I know all the words to.
It's just like a weird, happy thing, I guess, that I've associated because I love Adam Sandler.
I think he's very funny.
I think a lot of his movies are absolute shit.
But the thing is what you just said, Kyle, and that is he keeps his bros close.
And I think he's not really against all odds because he had the fucking the whole SNL thing, but he's just done whatever he wants.
Basically, he got that nose fixed and things really took off for him.
Yeah, that's very impressive.
Punch Drunk Love has, oh, he had a big IDF nose.
So in Punch Drunk Love, it's Philip Seymour Hoffman is in it.
And basically the premise is Adam Sandler is an unhinged, mentally ill young man.
And he calls a sex number.
And he really just wants to talk to somebody.
But long story short, they start charging his credit card.
And they send goons to beat him up.
And the goons injure his girl.
And it becomes this whole thing where he's sort of in debt to this sex phone line mob
ran by Philip Seip seymour hoffman and he's this very
autistic man who really his main goal he's discovered that there is a healthy choice
pudding scam he's running where he's buying all the pudding he can and redeeming the tops for
airline miles and he's done the math he's like, they wanted to push their chicken teriyaki meals.
Those are $3.50 each, and you only get one mile.
But it's the pudding, too. And by some crazy measure, they've made each pudding top miles.
So you get four per package, and you get four packages for $1.
And he's got cases and pallets of pudding that he's buying so he never has to
pay for airline miles again it's true story that part like there was a guy who realized that healthy
choice pudding miles were didn't scale well and he just bought as much pudding as he can and he had
infinite airline miles by the time it was over for a few thousand dollars but that's a good movie
basically adam sandler plays you know and like
happy gilmore or um water boy he's this rage-filled violence man who's funny sometimes well that would
never work in real life because you'd get like arrested or like people would take notice that
you're a crazy person he plays that person still but everybody's like what the fuck's wrong with
you what the fuck i guess i never really put the pieces together of how rage-filled he was in water boy and even then he wasn't rage-filled unless his mother was called
into question exactly and i don't think there was even a second thing like i think it was a
journey yeah it was the hero's journey you start out as an alabama running back and then you become
water boy return to the father. Belly of the whale.
That's exactly what it is.
A tale as old as time.
It's the biblical archetype.
I like it.
I like Waterboy.
Waterboy is one of my favorites for sure. I remember watching it on pay-per-view
when it came out with my dad.
Both of us dying laughing.
Vicky Valancourt is fucking hot.
He showed me her boobies. He showed me her boobies i like them too i liked rob schneider with his fucked up uh eye yeah in the crowd every
time he cracked me up as a kid and uh and um howard uh clint howard i think he's in there too
he's the one who's like i wasn't born good looking or rich or with a fully
functional brain or
smart.
That's such a sad scene
because he is a very
ugly man. He is
hideous.
He's a murderer
in a movie, right? Yeah, the ice cream
man or ice cream truck or something like that.
He's an ice cream truck driving murderer. I think he kills he kills children he does he kills kids and it's not a
great movie okay yeah that's an l yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't i wouldn't say two thumbs down it kept
my attention through most of it but if i remember like the way he killed the kids was like almost
like a rube goldberg ice cream machine at the shop in the back
it wasn't even like a a harsh stabbing and so in that way it was like i was just looking for
friends funny yeah um have you guys seen the movie thanksgiving yes i liked it a lot you did
really interesting yeah there was something go ahead yeah i was gonna say who the director was
it's um that eli roth eli roth yeah
yeah yeah who's done lots of stuff like that he did the hostile movies and cabin fever and uh he
was an actor in inglorious bastards i win it so it was i think that movie was one of those fake
trailers and another movie like maybe um the quentin tarantino movies it was the thanksgiving like slasher movie was a
fake trailer that he made for another movie and then i guess 10 years 15 years later they were
like could we actually make that thanksgiving murder movie and it was good i liked it i liked
it a lot i i don't know what it was about it like i didn't even watch enough of it to know whether or not it was good,
but it was the very first time I think I've ever put a movie on with the
intention of watching it.
And I was incapable.
I couldn't,
I couldn't,
I didn't watch any of it at all.
I put it on,
sat down and was just like,
I can't just started thinking about,
I don't know what was going on.
It just,
I chalked it up to it being just like,
uh, not good, but maybe I just haveiktok brain or something along those lines really really gory
there's lots of practical like skin getting ripped off i did see some cool stuff yeah in the very
opening scene it's like black friday and because lots of people are negligent which leads to a big
like rush of and a crush from a, and people die as a result.
I didn't see that.
Next year, one year later, it's Thanksgiving holidays, and I guess this town really does Thanksgiving big.
They have a whole parade.
Everybody's wearing turkey hats and shit.
The killer comes to avenge all those people who died before or something like that, but he does his murdering while dressed as a pilgrim.
And,
um,
and he does,
he kills people in Thanksgiving related ways.
Like what?
Like stuffing them to death.
He bakes one lady like a Turkey.
Uh,
he has,
he has her in a giant oven.
Um,
and then I think he forced feeds her to like her husband later or
something.
At the end,
they have everyone they have
all the surviving like victims like at a thanksgiving table sort of tied to their chairs
being served this dinner by this maniacal killer and everybody's just trying to get the fuck out
of there while awful things are happening to them he might kill somebody with a carving knife
one lady he like comes up behind her dunks her head early thanksgiving he dunks her head in the
water and then throws
her at one of those freezers from
a restaurant and all of her skin
sticks to the wall and so she's got to
tear all of her skin off to get away.
It's pretty gruesome.
I think I saw that part and I
also saw a part where a lady got cut in half
in a dumpster as well.
It's fun.
It's not a good movie. It's a slasher where people get killed in silly ways and it's fun it's not hard to give it another movie but it's right if you
like it's a slasher where people get killed in silly ways and it's kind of funny by the end
i like the final destination for that reason that's what it reminded me of that's what it
reminded me of but it just like for some reason i don't know my brain just was like
it didn't work do you guys speed past those log cars?
Like those trucks? Everyone does.
Yeah.
Everyone does.
Oh my God.
Were people chilling behind those before Final Destination?
Or was it always common sense to...
Yeah, that was Final Destination 2.
That's the opening scene.
That's the big event that sets everything in motion
where they foresee the event and they change it
and some of them survive that shouldn't.
Instead of where it was a plane crash
in the first one. But it's a log truck
and a car accident on
a major multi-car accident
and the logs are bouncing
and sliding through cars
going down the highway. And the CGI
I remember it being good
but maybe if I watched it now
it would be good. Yeah, I bet it's not if we were to
check it out. What was that, like 2002? yeah i bet it's not if we were to check it out what was that like
2002 yeah but it's logs moving through the air you know it's not like a hard animator it's not
it's not a problem it almost seems like people are the only bad cgi like if you try to get people
right it turns out poorly if you try to get polygons in a person yeah or i think people
are just really sensitive to imperfect people they don don't look right. That's true. In masks, etc.
Whereas if you do a shark or a building or some rubble, it holds up.
Yeah.
They go so overboard.
I saw some scenes from Wolf of Wall Street where they're just walking down a pier to a boat.
And it's like, there's no pier.
I mean, there's a pier, but it's built in a blue screen studio.
There's no boat. I mean, there's a boat, but it's built in a blue screen studio. There's no boat. There's a boat, but it's a fake boat in a studio.
Everything was blue. There was no water.
I saw something similar, but it wasn't blue screen.
They held something on site and they decided they didn't really like that site
so much. They changed everything about it so that the property had fewer
neighbors and that the water was
different.
They played tennis at
a federal prison in the very last scene
or towards the end. Nothing
about that was real.
It was great
CGI. You had no idea.
But it was also unremarkable. It didn't do much
to the story.
I've been in one of those blue screen
rooms it's like the size of a basketball stadium like a high school basketball stadium it's that
big it's a huge area and the screen is isn't 12 15 20 feet tall on the on the walls it's like all
the way up like many many feet you're in a big blue bowl and then they mix in real elements on the ground was that for the
call of duty commercial yeah that's the paramount one i'm sure every studio has one i saw somebody
like within the last couple months like they posted that commercial that you were in every
from time to time i'll always see someone online be like, what happened to FPS Russia is despicable,
and it's about time we get him his rights back.
And I'm always like, retweet.
Like that.
Big, big fan of this.
And then I have fun reading the comments also,
and they'll be like, what happened to that guy?
I haven't seen him in forever.
And they'll be like, he's doing some retarded podcast with two idiots.
It's like, how far he's fallen.
He's a big Jew lover now.
You mentioned Israel. This guy can't get enough.
Loves it.
I think it's terrible we're not giving
them their weapons in a timely manner.
No. You know what I want? I think
until every
American citizen starts getting some
weapons from the government, we shouldn't be giving
them anywhere else.
Like Switzerland.
Where are my artillery shells?
Exactly. Where's my space bombs?
And whatever.
I want them
provided by the government like everyone
else gets.
Those are loans.
They're not loans.
They're talking about taking the Russian assets
they have frozen and
loaning it to the Ukrainians at interest
and it's like whoa
who are the bad guys here
didn't the French do that to Haiti
or something
worse than that at least they didn't
steal the money from the Russians
and I mean it is stealing it's their fucking money
even if they are conducting this illegal war this invasion whatever you want
to call it it's their money we took that money and seized it and we're saying we'll just loan
this to their enemies i wonder if it's a little on it i bet they're not gonna like it didn't we
take money from iran in the 70s i'm making that part up and give it back with interest 30 years
later 50 years later something something wild like that.
No, I think we did something like that, right?
That was after our coup failed.
We unfroze some of their assets,
Obama did. We have a good coup record
overall, though, I think.
I think that $100 million
of cash that they
flew over there to the Iranians
had something to do with some unfrozen
Iranian assets that we've been holding for some long
period of time.
I'm seeing their leader.
I hope not.
Love interest.
Kobe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Iranian president got Kobe this week.
You got a helicopter.
Yes.
The butcher of Tehran.
They,
they,
yeah.
What,
what is powerful individuals and like being like,
no, you will fly me into the
fog i'm the president i play for the lakers like no just fucking take a car you can afford a limo
too there's no also stevie ray vaughn as well died in a helicopter crash they're flying from like
azerbaijan to uh this all started with a big bopper. They're flying over multiple mountain
ranges through this crazy
fog for some reason. Why is it so hard
to avoid the mountains?
I don't know.
I'm just saying you couldn't drive a car.
It's not like there's a...
I just feel like
we've mastered
low visibility flight.
It's called instrument flight.
What is it? IBR or something like that?
Why are these people hitting the land?
Don't do that. Avoid the earth part
and you're good.
Helicopters are no much worse than planes.
Planes shit on helicopters.
Do you think we killed them?
I haven't done any looking into it at all.
It's just weird timing.
I had to guess
if it was the finals
game 7 was next week and Kobe went down in a crash
we'd be like oh what the
fuck but here we are
like Iran is anyone taking credit
for it or is it just
this isn't the one you take credit for this is the one
you shut up about this is like some JFK shit
if they killed I would think so
what are the theories?
Like us, Israel?
Well, here's my theory.
My theory would be that the fucking Israelis tampered with the instruments on that fucking helicopter in some way to make the instruments that would be referring to...
No, that's small potatoes.
They changed the weather to cause the condition.
They did both.
They did both.
Yeah.
They're a remarkably thorough people.
I don't know why everybody's against them
They're clearly the winners
Who else died in the
Iranian president crash?
A lot of his cabin
I sent you a list but it's people I don't fucking know
Yeah I didn't know that
They're not that famous
I didn't know their president's name
I just know him as the butcher of Tehran
That's all I know
That's cool Man I want to be the butcher of tehran that's all i know man that's a good title
that's cool man i want to be the butcher of something you want to feed people the butcher
of st louis st louis man i'd have to take in mission that's got to be already taken google
the butcher of st louis and that's the thing you might find a nice place to get some ribeyes but
you might also find a hammer murderer yeah from the 30s some 30s hammer murderer it's
a story tradition yeah exactly yeah it's an old bizu tradition yeah i don't have hammers one of
my other conspiracy theories other than the israelis killing the president of iran last
week which they definitely did is that there are lots of serial killers that are like writing
letters in to to fucking newspapers and shit.
And we just ignore them because we don't like to fan those flames.
Like,
like the media and the FBI or whoever like learned their lesson from,
from the nineties and the,
and the eighties and the seventies,
the way you could like,
if that,
if you played in that serial killer shit,
they just made it worse.
And then it costs copycats because we,
you know,
our society with thirst for a
serial killer like the way that people like true crime drama about shit that happened before yeah
there was shit happening a lot if it was like yeah fucking st louis strangler he's taken down
18 women and he's taunting the police saying his next victim will be a redhead and it's like oh my
god everyone's dying their hair.
You go to the beauty shop.
We're here at Friday Street Beauty Salon where all of these redheaded
ladies have said they've had enough.
It's like, I just...
It's just not safe. It's just not safe anymore.
You guys are too young for the
last...
Irish a little bit now, I suppose.
They're redheaded.
Are you guys old enough to remember the
dc sniper yes oh dude i went to my school i'm from dc basically and when i was a baby we went
to the ren fair and i went missing at the ren fair and my grandparents and my mom were like
it was at the time of the dc sniper and uh that
that's like they've told me that story so many times like they were fucking you know heads on
swivels they thought i got kidnapped by the dc sniper not really but it's not what they do all
at the same time yeah yeah but yeah that's crazy that i'm young so dude that was i don't want to
call them badass but they had this big car.
Everyone thought they were in a white box.
They weren't.
Shooting innocent people.
They were in this like 1970s car with a great big trunk.
Really not badass.
And they could pull out the taillight, shoot.
They'd aim their sniper rifle out where the taillight used to be and then replace it.
And they'd just drive off casually.
And everybody just knew, in air quotes quotes that it was a white box truck.
Like a couple of these shootings had white box trucks associated with it,
like in the area.
So they thought that was,
you know,
correlation and no one was looking for regular cars.
They were,
he was a good shot and he was shooting people at gas stations a lot.
So the gas stations got creative and started putting up tarps,
like to be a competitive, you need gas.
Do you want to go to the station that's wide open
or the one that has like tarps hanging from everywhere?
Concealment, right?
Yeah, concealment.
Yeah.
It's fair.
So anyway, it was a big deal.
And that nowadays would be so much more popular.
It was John Muhammad and his stepson, nephew or something.
Lee Boyd Malvo.
And there was a lot of discussion on whether,
because Lee Boyd Malvo was like 15, 16 or something.
And the other guys, maybe 35, 40.
And there's a lot of discussion about how culpable the young man is.
But they had them all sewn up.
They had like the bullets from where they've been practicing.
And they caught him with the gun, I think.
But yeah, they would do exactly what he said.
They pop the taillight out of the car, crawl into the trunk of the car from the interior,
shoot with an AR-15.
Some just, they shot one guy maybe who was like just had dinner at outback steakhouse or something i
was like that could be me but i was in high school i was maybe senior year and so we were following
it really closely in my computer class my drafting class um we were all just like i don't know
following it day to day and discussing it at length and It was scary because they called him the DC sniper too. He had a name.
The DC sniper.
Or that or the Beltway sniper.
I remember that.
I don't remember how many people
they kill.
I don't know. I'm going to look it up but I'm going to guess.
I would guess 17.
Really? I would guess 17
victims and maybe like 8 or 12 deaths.
17 deaths. 17 deaths,
10 injured. Oh, shit.
Damn! You were on the money
if you hadn't qualified it.
I didn't know it was that many total.
That's crazy. In three weeks.
It was just...
The one guy is still alive.
John Muhammad, you know,
lethal injected. You can have him on the pod.
2009. Yeah, we got to get
Lee Boyd Malvo on the show. We got to get Leiboyd Malvo
on the show.
Hashtag, you did nothing wrong.
What was your favorite kind of
sniper rifle?
Oh, it was the Bushmaster AR-15.
That's what it was.
We get it. We get some hate online.
I literally
remember us being like,
so a Bushmaster, that must be a good one, huh?
When you're in high school.
Is it, now that you're an expert, is that a good one?
Oh, I don't even know.
I know it was a brand.
It's mid.
Milspec.
Okay.
I've never seen a bad one, really.
Like, there's been a bad AR-15 and a good one.
It's like, what are we doing that we need that?
You know, it's like the audio equipment thing again.
Like, yeah, the cheapest one's kind of, it's like, I don't know, we need that? You know, it's like the audio equipment thing again. Like, yeah, the cheapest ones kind of,
it's like, I don't know, we could do better than this.
But the most expensive one, it's like, come on,
$5,000 for this?
Yeah, it's like a, it's a very difficult platform
to accurize just in general
because there's so many moving pieces
and it's semi-automatic and like,
it doesn't really make any,
it just doesn't really make any sense to, you know.
I can't remember, the guy's name is Matt.
He has Demolition in his YouTube channel name.
Demolition Ranch?
Yes.
He got an AR-15.
It was like a race gun.
It was red.
It was very light.
Something about that lit my fire.
I never bought one.
Builded aluminum AR?
Sounds right.
After playing Tark tarkov you probably
know how to build like a really good one nothing teaches you guns better than tarkov honestly i
learned way more from tarkov like i knew stuff but as far as like the customization of certain
weapon platforms i was like you can do this like yeah this obscure bulgarian company makes a mount
for that wow like there's lots of things Tarkov I didn't know existed.
I knew about the guns and stuff,
but the little intricate ways to put attachments onto weird platforms,
I didn't know about a lot of that.
Tarkov's great for that.
Yeah, it's in-depth.
I want to find how many suspected serial killers there are right now,
like if there's actual names, is what you brought up.
The FBI has some statement that they think that like the number
they think are actively operating in the united states like they've given a number up but i just
got to imagine there's some guy out there right now doing something that would be like headline
grabbing like catchy like maybe he like he like he like pees in their butthole after he kills them
or something. There's some weird, demented
fool out there doing crazy shit,
but we don't publicize it because, again,
copycats and fanning the flames.
Dude, Mexico is putting up
Gretzky numbers
with some of these serial killers.
The highway of death.
Suspects charged? There's a question mark column no uh 136 mile stretch of federal highway 86 where since 2020 at least 71 men women and children have
disappeared or been murdered the 18 survivors said they were abducted by armed men and tortured
it's suspected that cartels are responsible for many of the murders but there's a possibility
that lone criminals are responsible for some of them criminals see now now you got a bunch of
serial killers potentially yeah you got to have a like a signature if you're going to be a serial
killer because you don't want to take credit for anybody else's stuff and vice versa you know
yeah the jamaican homeless stabbings, that's got to be the tutorial
level of
becoming homeless.
A lot of them start by killing
prostitutes.
Yep, exactly. It's just like
the lowest hanging fruit of murder.
But you've got to do something.
You've got to shave a little off in the head when you're done.
The toy car murders.
Also, Mexico.
Alleged vigilante who killed thieves car thieves
in sinaloa with a shot to the head minutes after stealing them toy cars were found on the body of
all the victims due to this distinctive mark the alleged murder is popularly known as
you know what i choose to believe i choose to believe that his son was killed by a car thief.
And so he's putting his son's toys in the pockets of the victims.
It's just like that scene in The Patriot.
Let's add that to the wiki.
Yeah, add that to the wiki.
Nobody will flinch.
It's just like when Mel Gibson was melting down his dead son's toy soldiers into bullets and then shooting them at the Redcoats.
That was a hard scene too.
I love that movie.
I like that.
Someone go vandalize
the Wikipedia page.
Flesh it out, you mean.
Flesh it out with the newfound information.
Properly research.
Man, that's the best
one of these on here by far that I've seen
in my three seconds of looking.
Fuck, there's one right here.
The Kansas City and St. Louis shootings.
Is that just broadly speaking?
Yeah.
It's in general.
A gun with ballistics
matching the hunt. This guy's just a run-of-the-mill murderer.
Yeah.
He's a gimmick.
You do need a gimmick. If you were going to go
and be like, I just love killing. You would want a gimmick. You would going to go and I just love Killah
you would want a gimmick
you would want to be able to take credit for yours
and keep score
you know what I would do
I'd go to every state
and on the body I'd leave one of those commemorative
state quarters
put it in their mouth
oh that's even spookier
actually two of them on their eyes.
Like they're having...
So they can enter heaven.
Yeah, exactly.
They can pay Sharon
or whatever to go across the river Styx.
Chiron from HR.
H-A-R-O-N, I think his name is.
It is C-H-A-R-O-N.
Yeah, that's a good ass story.
I think Chiron, though.
Maybe, but either way, I think Chiron, though. Maybe.
But either way, I think that would be a pretty classy, I want to say, way to do it with coins.
Pretty great.
But I got to say, I think that the American coins are a little folksy, and we want to rise above that.
What if you made them yourself?
Like you were striking coins?
I need a hobby like
that's what you do when you're getting ready for the kill there's that scene where we slowly like
move the camera through your your house of terror and you're playing rock music while you make these
coins you're minting them you know you're you're you're smelting you're smelting. You're smelting the jewelry of your victims to make the coin.
They're calling him the St. Louis smelter.
Rumor is he dealt it.
He's clearly started killing before his coins were ready for, you know, to be put on the public's plate.
Look at how Murder Victim 1, how crappy the coins are.
And Murder Victim 48, the coins are well rounded he's right
after that news reporter you don't want to insult them either i would genuinely not do that like if
i were a reporter i would be afraid to have antagonizing you know the killer i would only
antagonize with fake stuff i'd be like you'll never suspect me i'm asian and then they'd be
like is he playing catch-22 is he actually asian putting a lot of you know
headlights on the asian population of the country which they would you target a specific demographic
or just just anybody no we've talked about this before i would you cannot be a demographic
targeter if you're going to be a successful killer that's how so many of these people get
fucked up is they're like oh man i'm so in the mood to kill but this is
what if you make it
there can't be one
indecipherable
there is one but they don't
but they can't see it
it's like forest for the trees type thing
there's something special about each of these people
that only you know
and they'll have to be a real Sherlock Holmes
to put it all together.
Don't just kill redheads. Like very small heads.
It's really funny.
You can do it Gen Z style
with killing people with
negative canthal tilt.
You just kill ugly people.
I just kill people with uh the fucking uh like perms
like the guy gen z perm that they're all rocking now the broccoli head the broccoli head this will
be like 40 years in the future when i'm like an old man and i have nothing to live for but my
serial killer yeah and they'll be by then the news reporters will be like this is seriously not bussing
this guy's fucked up dude i'm struggling with the new language now i i i hung in there longer
than most like when i was 40 i could speak teen that's not true anymore oh yeah getting older now it it really is the the fucking simpsons episode
where abe simpson grandpa simpson's like oh you're with it now but there'll come a day when you aren't
with it and what is it seems weird and strange to you and then that is it now i see those kids like
i see the the broccoli haircut and i'm like man these
kids that would be the biggest invitation to get bullied and then a lot of the broccoli kids
i mean this sounds gay and pedo but like i i see how they're cute to like i can see why they're
scoring with that haircut boys with that cut huh that's all good we can take that out and post
like these instagram boys or whatever i'm like all right it's not a look that anyone
rocked when i was in school but okay you've got your stance you're just saying out there
bold haircuts you know the surfer haircuts that were popular when i was young or
no lamer what i don't like is where the the schultz thing where they just like
razor with a straight line on the side of your head and that it looks like half of a shave apart in yeah sort of no where the whole side of your head is like shaved
completely clean and then you just have there's no fade yeah yeah it's it's that looks like some
weird nazi hitler youth yeah exactly hitler you had better cuts than that yeah what about mullets
i'm in favor of come back i'd be all right with that yeah i wish the mullet would come back
i'm a hockey guy i love mullet and that back. I'd be all right with that. I wish the mullet would come back. I'm a hockey guy. I've been rocking a mullet for years.
I love mullet.
That's true, yeah.
I think you've done a good one.
Yeah.
Appreciate it.
That's part of hockey culture.
If it gets big, that's appropriation.
Zach, show us a picture of Rowdy Roddy Piper.
Now, I want that, or Billy Ray Cyrus would do, too.
Rest in peace.
What about Travis Tritt?
Travis Tritt was the king.
I'm a big fan of Travis Tritt. I got his songs memorized, every one of them. This is his son's merch I'm wearing, Tristan Tritt. Travis Tritt was the king. I'm a big fan of Travis Tritt.
I got his songs memorized, every one of them.
This is his son's merch I'm wearing, Tristan Tritt.
Really? Oh, really?
I fucking love Travis Tritt and Tristan there.
You mean his son, Tristan?
Yeah, I'm a big Travis Tritt fan.
I like him in Blues Brothers, too, when he's there at the end playing.
Yeah, look at that. That's a man right there.
That's rowdy Roddy Piper.
Ooh, Travis Tritt looks almost
Christ-like.
He's incredible.
He's a very good guitar player.
He's a good singer.
He's excellent.
Super talented.
That dude would not last in prison.
You're telling me
that haircut?
He'd be cold in somebody's pocket. This is a country singer Dude, you're telling me that haircut? Yeah, but he's got his onk on to protect him.
He'd be cold in somebody's pocket.
Wait, this is a country singer and he's wearing
an onk?
This is the early 2000s. I sing this guy's
songs in the talent show in elementary
school. Oh, he's tougher there.
That's a different guy.
This is
40 years
from now.
Your facial recognition's on another level. I'm sorry. This is 40 years from now. Wendigoon.
Your facial recognition's on another level.
He looks good there.
Yeah, he's got a weight chopper.
That's good.
Totally different guy.
Wendigoon's dad.
Is that Billy Ray Cyrus?
I'm bad at this.
He looks good, man.
I've got to say. Let's mullets back i think i think so mullets and i
don't know about mustaches are kind of weird but i like them no you just need you need a angular
face to pull off a mustache you have a good mustache face i've tried to go down in the
mustache face i look like i'm impersonating a police officer it's it's a bad look for my big round
head yeah you could have a good mustache face do you ever do the thing why don't you grow it up and
do the little upturned mustache that's all waxed and pointed i'm basically there i just need wax
i don't have wax honestly yeah i just realized that yeah you've got a very you could step right
into a western or something i feel like you look like a like a like a real cattle herd like you could be in the background of the
table this is high praise i feel like nick cage right now there's that fucking interview where
that woman asked a question he's like that's huge that's huge oh wow really oh thank you so much i
like nick let's get i like a good actor. I'm not here because
my uncle's French is for a couple.
I'm a good actor.
He is a good actor.
I love Nick Cage.
The way he plays Nick Cage.
He plays other people.
I thought...
He makes those shitty movies,
but he also... Look, nobody says
Sam Jackson's a bad actor.
That would be racist.
But they're very similar actors.
They both do way too many movies.
Most of them are shitty.
But he has these iconic roles.
And you're like, oh, yeah, man.
He was good in that one and that one.
And remember when he said this, that, and the other?
They're very similar
but sam jackson doesn't get shit on like poor nicholas cage nicholas cage bought that tyrannosaurus
head from fucking that collector and turkey was like hey that's our head and he gave it back
he was at a quarter mil for that what did he sound do a nick cage impression where he gives it back
kyle oh i can't do it try i don't even know fully what he sounds like. You're stealing the Declaration of Independence.
You're talking to someone else's head.
No, I can't do that.
It's a weird one.
It'll take a lot of practice.
I'm going to say I'm a bad actor.
While holding a fucking Academy Award.
Bad actor.
I like Nicolas Cage. You saw Mandy.
Come on, that is good acting.
I know, I'm antagonizing you,
but he is a bad actor.
Like, in the truest sense of the word,
he's just not very good,
but he's fun.
Tara Reid is a bad actor.
She's not believable as anyone.
She's not,
she's clearly a person
who's faking.
Tara Reid looks like a person
who's coming in
and pretending to be someone.
Her acting's as bad as her tits.
And those are off.
Yeah.
I was going to say, that's low praise.
I remember those.
I remember that was my first, like, because I was, like, mid-2000s.
So I was, like, in middle school, early high school.
And seeing, like, the difference in what those titties looked like
with, like, a bikini top on versus off verse off was like oh like how old are y'all
i'm 33 51 51 you're born in 1972 you're the same age as my dad woody oh yeah i need 73 yep
you guys are the same age are you like a 97 i was born in 1986 yeah 96 okay i'm a 91 i'm not that
much older than you go Go back to that picture.
Years and years apart, right?
So one thing to keep in mind,
not as many as you might think.
So the problem with the photo on the right,
it's not that... Her titties were worse. There was this time
where she got them done, and they were
lopsided. One of them did a crazy thing,
and then the titty fell out on an award
show, and everybody starts flashing their bulbs, and she thinks, oh, I'm so pretty! But her titty fell out on an award show. Everybody starts flashing their bulbs.
She thinks, I'm so pretty.
Her titty is just out.
It was a real bad look.
Her titty surgery had gone poorly.
She's just way too thin.
One of the writers from an article.
Is Tara Reid starving herself to death?
I wonder if more fat would smooth that stomach out.
Of course it would.
It would. Smooth that chunk. Bit of chunk. Some Chick-fil-A. I wonder if more fat would smooth that stomach out Of course it would It's not a good look
Bit of chunk, some Chick-fil-A
She just has to overeat a little bit
Oh, we've been having so much fun
I forgot to do the Blue Chew Read
Is everybody out there have a nice hard dick?
I didn't think so
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Are you tired of coming like a bitch,
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like a nothing?
No one.
No one wants to see a little
tiddly wink of cum
spurt out of your cock.
They want to see gushing
that girl that you're with
or that boy that you're with.
We don't judge as long as you're coming hard and you're both of age.
No Jared Fogle stuff here, folks.
We don't play that way.
Depending on the state you're in.
Ethical.
I like it.
Ethical.
We take a stand against Subway Jared and his six-inch.
Well, hypothetically, in Thailand, how old would the girl need to be, Taylor, before they could bust money?
I don't know.
Just legally speaking.
I want this to be part of the advertisement.
That I make up every time.
I don't want you to lose your place.
Lock and load.
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the bedroom you want to have two towels two second towels at any time and you this is how you can tell we're not lying to you because if we were trying to fib to you and this was a bullshit
product number one it wouldn't still be selling as well after years and number two we would have
done the easiest thing in the world and we would have been like take one pill a day for a month
like our competitors do like our competitors do those Those shady fucks. I also
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from this whatsoever, and it does work.
I and my close
friends have used it, and we are viewers of
PK, and it does work.
11 pumps. That's average.
That comes from OompaVille,
and he's a man
of truth.
He speaks truth to power. That's what he does. That's his brand. He's a bit of a prophet. He's a man of truth. He speaks truth to power.
That's what he does.
That's his brand.
He's a bit of a prophet.
He's a smart guy.
He never says anything wrong.
He's astute.
And so listen to him on this.
And also listen to me on this.
You have to take nine pills a day, folks.
This is not for the weak of stomach.
This is for people who wake up in the morning and they go, what do I want?
I want five veggie caps right now. And then at night you take four more.
That's what you need to get an efficacious dose.
Because when you're working with someone as jacked and mildly autistic as Derek,
he knows exactly how to meet out the nutrients needed to get your sperms.
Well, it's not for your sperm.
You're not going to get people pregnant more often.
It's more for seminal fluid.
And it'll add a nice pearlescence to it.
A little color boost. so check it out use code pka or code jizz for 10 off over at lock and load or over at guerrilla mind.com but it's not just that
your request it is your request and i remember we can go back in the chat because i was saying like
i'd say something in the chat like hey we hey, we're having out-of-stock issues. And then Kyle, like, without letting that even simmer, would be like, and also, we need code jizz.
We need code jizz right away.
And I'm like, yeah.
Code jizz immediately.
But priorities, though.
Let's get the out-of-stock thing.
Let's get the code working and then the jizz.
No, no, no.
I mean, look.
Every one of these cum splatters on here, I fought tooth and nail for.
Tooth and nail.
Kyle and Woody were like,
it's not that important how much cum's on the bottle, Taylor.
And I was like, it's so important
how much cum is on the bottle
because it's funny and it's fun.
It adds a little levity.
You can give it to your dad.
You can show your grandparents.
What if we came up with a kit
so that they could keep track of their volume
growth over time?
I think we could do that.
You guys should do a podcast episode
where you each get fertility tests
and you each get your
fertility tested and you determine how much
that would be cool.
Would you mind
if Taylor and I mail you some jism?
I've been waiting for this day.
How many nullators do you bust out?
That's what we need to know.
20 apologies in advance.
I shouldn't have used a security envelope.
It's going to be a little bit of jism.
I used a condom and a security envelope.
Would you be offended if I put a graduated cylinder first?
No condom.
Woody's just opening his mail.
He's like, ah, a little bleachy in here today.
What if I told the audience it's stack ranked by volume?
How would you like that?
That could be good. We could all be stack
ranked by our volume. We could have power rankings
week to week. That's funny. I'm going to send you a
big week for Kyle as he
surges into first place, as he
spurts into first. I have a
suspicion this is two loads. I'll get the microscope.
Yeah, true.
You need to video it
we have our own uh i i measured mine i i did keep track and measure but i don't remember the numbers
and what i did was i came in a condom and then i took a syringe and i was like oh that one was a
two helper i drew out all the cum with a syringe into a three milliliter syringe. And I think it took
multiple syringes.
I think it was like 11 milliliters. It was a
huge amount. Maybe 11
milliliters or something. It's been too long.
I say hi to you when you're taking
it and you will be blown away
as will your lady or man
friend at how much you bust.
It's awesome. It really is.
Yeah. The official
load stack
of Joe Biden.
You need to do it.
Lock and load is not the official
load stack of Joe Biden.
Lock and load is not the official load stack of Joe Biden.
Can you say anything is endorsed by anyone
as long as afterward you do a silly joke like that
this is not endorsed by the trump administration yeah that's awesome
stays in power
i don't know all that sunflower lecithin takes a lot of capsule space it does the sunflower
yeah yes see this is a man who knows.
I love it.
Yeah,
I love it.
I,
I mean,
uh,
I remember when you guys were talking about it and my cousin Clint and I
bought the individual ingredients pre lock and load and we're rocking that
for months.
Oh yeah.
That's,
that was like the funniest realization.
Like when Kyle and I were in that chat that day and someone was like,
Oh,
what do you think of your load stack?
And immediately Kyle and I just were putting out full ingredients and doing
a melding of the minds.
Dude,
I was there for that.
If I recall.
And it was like,
you're doing it,
you're doing it like,
like to do Spider-Man pointing at each other.
So yeah,
we put peanut butter in my chocolate moment.
The two of them had something together. That's such a good, the peanut butter in my chocolate moment. The two of them had something together.
That's such a good, the peanut butter in my chocolate.
That's one of my favorite family guy clips from like the old episodes.
You know what it's referencing?
Oh, you didn't know what that was referencing, Woody?
Oh, I know the commercial.
I don't know the family guy.
Oh, it's when there's a guy driving and he's like,
I sure love eating peanut butter.
And there's another guy who's like, I love chocolate. And then they have a head-on collision
and both get in a horrible accident and it combines. And then an officer
who's like, I'm Officer Reese's. What's going on here?
He eats it and kills both of them.
Reese's S-tier candy. I'm not that big of a candy
eater, but if I was, I'd be all,
I wouldn't,
I wouldn't be a sampler.
I'd be,
it'd all be Reese's and Twix as far as the common candy when I'm on the
road,
right?
Like,
like the scenario is usually this I'm on a motorcycle and I need to walk a
little bit,
like get off the darn bike while I gas up.
And the most tempting things are whatever Reese's cooked up this week.
They are just finding new ways to combine peanut butter and chocolate every
month.
And I need to know what's up.
Speaking of low quality snacks.
Take five,
dude.
Oh,
I've had take five.
They're good.
Fucking love take fives.
I haven't had one.
Oh,
you're a,
you a fast break guy,
Caleb Reese's fast break.
Yeah.
The Reese's fast break.
There's a,
there's like two sizes though.
One of them I don't like.
And one of them,
I just,
just eat,
swallow it.
Oh yeah.
I used to get the big one at the,
I like gained a little bit of noticeable weight after I turned 16.
And it was like,
I can just stop at gas stations anytime.
Oh,
same.
Yeah.
Like just,
I can just have a Reese's fast break candy.
And then that was that same phase where I'm like, all right, I'm getting a Reese's Fast Break, but I'm going to stick healthy on the beverage side, get myself a nice 24-ounce Arizona iced tea with ginseng, Woody.
It has ginseng in it.
Oh, I know.
I don't know why I laughed.
Yeah, that's a medicine, effectively.
And then you like, I don't even want to imagine
how many calories are in one of those.
It's just soda.
It's just an uncarbonated soda.
In the Arizona ginseng green tea?
I would guess.
It's like 24 ounces, like you said. It's big.
I would guess 100.
It was very...
I bet it cracks 200 calories.
24 ounces. 100% it cracks 200 calories. 24 ounces.
100% it does.
100%.
Probably 240 calorie servings, I would assume.
I went for the can, right?
I don't want them to pull that two servings in a can trick.
I'm not falling for it.
All right, someone's going to have to do some quick mental math.
That's a cute dog.
A 16.9 fluid ounce serving is 130 calories and 34 grams of sugar and so if you were to add up to 24 ounces
kyle off the top of your head what is that i wasn't that'd be 210. Okay. What was it, 160?
130 for 16.9 fluid ounces.
Yeah, it'd be just under 210.
It does have 120% of your vitamin C,
so you take the good with the bad.
I'm getting 195, but I'm not sure I'm right.
Ooh, right on the cusp.
Either way, those were good,
and I thought that they were like a healthier alternative to like a diet pepsi or something at the time which they are not although like people are always
talking about aspartame if it were that bad kyle would be dead i'd be dead yeah yeah i think you've
gone significant periods of time without water passing your lips. Years. Years.
Unless you count ice in soda.
Sometimes the fridge can't get them cold fast enough.
You gotta put some of that disgusting
ice in there.
Get a little water.
And you know, sometimes
you jump in the pool and you swallow a little accidentally.
Other than that,
nah, not drinking any water. Other than that, no.
I'm not drinking any water.
No.
Fish fucking it.
It's disgusting.
I used to drink even just for hydration.
I would carry around a half gallon of tea.
For hydration?
Yeah.
Why not?
That's awesome. Not even sweet tea?
No, unsweet tea.
Unsweet, artificially sweetened tea.
Yeah.
A big scoop of sweet and low in there.
And lemon.
Basically hydrate with diet soda.
Yeah.
I drink a lot of water.
But I'm a fancy man.
I drink sparkling water.
Yeah.
If I'm doing something that's going to make me sweaty,
I'll have a Gatorade or a water.
But as far as what I drink continuously,
it's like zero sugar
soda. It's Mr. Pibb Zero
over there. These new Sprites are real good.
It's like Cherry Lime
Zero Sugar Sprite.
Zero Sugar Chill. This episode's also
brought to you by Sprite Zero Sugar Chill.
Shout out to Sprite Zero Sugar Chill.
The official soda of Hamas.
That can't be a Sprite product.
Do you guys like Dr. Pepper?
I used to.
Yeah, but this is better.
I've switched to Mr. Pibb because they've got Pibb Zero,
and it's really fucking good.
It tastes like cherry.
It's good.
I think Mr. Pibb is very good.
I think Mr. Pibb is a close second to Dr. Pepper,
but I just love Dr. Pepper.
I don't know why.
Dr. Pepper Zero is pretty good.
Do you only drink regular or do you
drink diet i drink regular i it i feel like the zeros give me no energy and the the normals give
me energy and i use it for energy like whenever i record or work out or something like that i'll
drink a soda i like that fueling up the sugar and a little bit a little bit of caffeine you
work out home gym you go to a place?
Right now, I just have that fucking little body dip thing.
I'm a big calisthenics guy.
I've never been to a gym.
I like dips.
So you do dips, pull-ups, that kind of stuff a lot?
Yeah, dips.
My dad is a god tier.
He can do like 40 pull-ups.
He's fucking shredded still.
40 pull-ups, no stopping? Just 40? 40 pull-ups and he's he's fucking shredded still i'm trying to get him
just 40 40 pull-ups no stop there's a video on my youtube channel when he turned 40 10 years ago of
him doing 40 pull-ups um which is insane he's fucking jacked and uh i'm trying to get him on
trt but he don't listen to me he's way better than me i think of myself as good at pull-ups
i could do he's small and he's short never do so in a row he's got the olympian build so there's no there's no no
comparison he has a unique human he's a five five he's very small and light he weighs like 135
can just fucking crank out pull-ups um yeah he's he's cheating It's basically cheating. He can do the human flagpole
and all that. I just was always so jealous
of his physicality because I was in great shape, but he's just short
so he can do anything. He can stick himself straight out of the fucking
I thought I was going to be strong enough to do the flagpole thing,
but I'm not. No,'ve no, it's crazy.
Like my legs are also so long.
Like,
like I,
it's,
I can't,
I can't imagine doing that.
I mean,
Caleb,
you get the last laugh because you're not short.
And so you can always like mug your dad that way.
I do mug him sometimes.
Yeah.
Awesome.
Now he,
he's a,
he's fucking shredded.
It's,
it's,
it's really cool to have a in shape. Who's not on the internet at all. It just like, he's an, though. He's fucking shredded. It's really cool to have an in-shape who's not on the internet at all.
It's just like he's an old farmer guy with fucking, he's got the wrinkliest neck in the world from the sun.
And he just takes his shirt off.
He's got a crazy farmer's tan.
He's alabaster white.
And he's just got an eight-pack.
It's fucking awesome.
alabaster white and he's just got an eight pack it's fucking awesome dude i love people like when you come across someone especially if close to your own age who is just so not online at all
it's so refreshing because it's like a little reminder of like oh all these things that like
seem not to be like the internet's not real life because some of it is but like they'll be like oh
really fucking kanye said something really i thought he
was just kind of a music guy and i'm like i'm not even gonna tell you you enjoy you enjoy friends
just listen to you know graduation again like a good time i love that that's that's a good trait
in in like uh girlfriends wives like as a content creator,
like every time I make that,
I dub situation,
which like,
I'm not even,
I follow like Sam Hyde and his stuff much more than I ever followed the
I dubs thing.
So I like,
I only kind of saw his downfall through like Sam Hyde trolling him through
it.
But then I would see those clips of like him doing a podcast,
like with his wife.
And like, both of them are like like they're not just doing like, what did you do today? Like it's not like an independent show.
They're like having beef with people together.
And it's like, well, that's that doesn't seem like a good idea.
Like starting fights with your significant other on a podcast.
Yeah, I'm my my SO is a content creator and she is very much
just not online and she's extremely has her head screwed on fucking great uh she's got 50 million
followers on tiktok which is like another level of internet success but she's so like so far
eclipsed me and like like the world that i'm in and just it's just
not it's just nonsensical but she doesn't have to be involved in it in any way um so she's like
kind of gone past it which is really cool um to see because it's it's important i feel like to
have someone who just does not give a single fuck about stuff that you are bombarded with that is supposedly important and not you know so she's
like a like a post only kind of person where she's like all right here's the post and then now i'm
going outside enjoying my day yes very much so yes all right what about current events like like
what's going on in the world because i had a repairman over uh a few october maybe eighth
you know right after the Israel thing.
I'm, of course, watching it on CNN
and then going back to Fox News when it's commercial break
back and forth. He's
back behind me working in the kitchen.
He's like, what's going on over there?
Israel was invaded.
By who?
Why would they do that?
Germany again.
How do you know?
Aliens.
Aliens invaded Israel.
He had no idea, no concept.
He didn't care.
He didn't care.
I was like, yeah, they invaded Israel.
This is a big deal.
We're going to help them.
They're about to kill some people.
Nah.
Anyway, he didn't care at all.
That's for the birds, for the birds. I guess I draw
my own lines about the online shit
I care about and what I don't.
I care so little about the Kardashians
and certain groups
and people like that, but then I care
way too much about, I don't know,
video game drama
and shit like that.
I've given Terrence Howard too much attention this week.
Same.
That guy's so funny.
He's awesome.
The unshakable confidence to be that bad at math.
What did he do?
Wait, are you serious?
I know that Terrence Howard went on the Joe Rogan experience.
I also know a little bit about Terrence Howard.
He's the guy who fucked up and lost the Iron Man role.
He's the guy from Hustle and Flow back in the day.
Very good movie.
I think I've seen him dressed as a preacher.
Maybe he's got those green evangelical black preacher robes.
Maybe I saw him one time.
So I knew he was a little
out there but he made an ass of himself you've got it all wrong he didn't fuck up he didn't
fuck up iron man that wasn't his fault at all he had nothing to do with that whatsoever that part
there's i'm doing a big video on that whole podcast episode it is such a fucking crazy
rabbit hole dude he talks about his first memories. Like most people, it's just like him trying so desperately to seem like a genius that it's, it's really, it's like watching a train wreck happened on live. If you think watching Kanye West perform in front of cameras is funny. This guy is like a different type of that it's fucking awesome
he's he's figured out the periodic table the periodic table it's not just simply elements
and physics it's octaves and the key of e and it's it's like he tries to explain that you can
change the elements from one to the other because they are the same frequency and but not the same
frequency they're like just take that other frequency double it and helium becomes fucking
oxygen or something like that yeah and then
he's like because helium and oxygen
are both at the same frequency
which means they're blue
like all the
all the sounds have colors in his world
I can't explain why one
times one equals two but I do know that that part
is probably incorrect
so that's why I'm so sure that's wrong. I've never
been more sure. Dude, he's like,
Taylor, the square root of 2 is 1.
Therefore, 1 times 1 is 2. Duh.
And I'm like, wait a minute.
Isn't the square root of 2 like 1.41?
You're like, alright, if we take 1
one time,
how many is that?
This is hurting my head already.
Dude, I don't believe you
my problem is there's going to be a little bit there's gonna i've only seen short clips
i saw the periodic table thing that was very funny there's gonna be a little bit of truth
to his madness which is gonna make me even more upset but i'll have to check it what was joe doing
was rogan just enjoying oh yeah he thinks he's a genius it's the nikola tesla it's the appeal to tesla it's the
appeal to the to the uh the the shamed masters the same geniuses the underdogs like that's his
whole thing like oh we've all known this for so long i was born i was born with this knowledge
he claims his memory starts when his mom was about four months pregnant. That's when he first... Get this guy out of here.
That's called mental illness.
It seriously is.
I think it's weak sauce because I remember
being a sperm. It was the first swimming race
I ever won.
That was when I got my competitive swimming started
and I beat all the other sperm.
Wouldn't you need to remember being the egg as well?
You sound kind of gay. Well, that's where and I beat all the other sperm. Wouldn't you need to remember being the egg as well? Yeah.
You sound kind of gay.
That's where
the principle of bifurcation of memory
comes into play.
How many chromosomes do you have, Woody?
More than you.
More than you?
You got me there.
Did he say anything
that you heard, Calebaleb where you were like
oh fuck like that part actually makes a little sense i i do think some of the frequency stuff
is very interesting because like the earth has a provably resonant frequency and nikola tesla's
experiments with like wireless transmission of electricity there's a guy dr parkinstein
all that we're going to tie into the video who's on Tik TOK.
And he's like this, uh, no, we're different Parkensteins.
He's a, uh, a young African-American fellow who lives in Texas.
And he actually transmits, he built his own magnifying transmitter,
magnifying transmitter as he calls it.
And he transmits electricity.
You can build a thing that he has a uh like a
fucking blueprint for that you can download and you can build one and every night if you tune it
to the right frequency he will transmit electricity and light up your fucking light bulb dude so like
there's some some stuff going on for sure in terms of electricity but i'm not sure about the color of
oxygen um and how there's
harmonic differences in elements.
But if you're using enough power
for electricity to move
through the air,
then... It's moving it through the earth.
It's moving
it through the... That's the Dr.
Parkinson. I can send you some video. I don't understand
it at all.
That sounds pretty cool, though.
But there's a reason we ground things exactly doesn't move through if you send it through
the earth oh we need to do that frequency though that's the it's the resonant frequency that's the
it's like he built a giant grounding rod and like the certain voltage i mean you guys seriously need
to look up dr parkinstein if you haven't already. Let me ask you this. Am I going to be like, ah, Dr.
Parkinstein, he's the man.
He knows everything.
Or am I going to have some fun?
And you're going to be very fun.
OK, you're going to have a lot of fun.
He's a legend.
I don't want to walk away and halfway believe him and become like a
Parkinstein groupie or something.
I see those people get get scooped in by the flat earthers.
Like they'll see one presentation that's that's poorly presented science.
They're like, holy shit, they're hiding it from us.
One of my favorite things is like, why is the during an eclipse?
Why is the the Earth's shadow round?
Like it's clearly round on the moon.
Like you can see it, you know, when you see a crescent moon, it's because there's a round shadow over the rest of it.
You know.
Well, what does that have to do with grounding the electricity?
I'm on the flat earth now.
Oh, you're on the flat earth.
We're flying through it.
Well, they would just say that it's flat,
but that it's a disk, right?
Disk earth.
But then the disk would always have to be angled the right way, right?
Yeah. Like exactly the right way. Right?
Like exactly the right way.
It's silliness.
Kyle, if you click on that thing I gave you,
listen for 15, 30 seconds,
whatever floats your boat,
and just get a vibe for the kind of
scientific word salad
he likes to put out there.
I wish we could share videos.
Look, I'm a genius.
Yeah, he's like,
shit. Kyle, can you
say it while he says it so people
know the words?
One sec.
He says...
He wants to be a god, it seems like.
I've been nominated for Golden Globes
and SAG Awards. Those things weren't the things
that moved me as a child.
I studied chemical engineering at Pratt Institute.
I was there for two years until I saw that there was an inconsistency with the math there. And so I went out to explore a new way of understanding how the universe worked.
And I was able to define the grand unified field equation they've been looking for.
And I put it into geometry.
And then with that geometry, I was able to put props on that. And what I'm saying is,
now we have invented a new form of flight that I would like to bring here to Uganda
to replace the drones, to replace the helicopters, to replace the planes.
Are you sure this isn't like a Biden speech? We have funding necessary.
What we need is just a fertile ground
in which to build this now.
This is the geometry of hydrogen,
of hydrogen, hydrogen.
This is the proton itself.
All right, he goes on.
Kyle, you did that so well.
I'm so thankful that you have that talent.
I didn't know it was back there.
But he's- It's ramblings it's like the geometry of flights replacing drones i think
that whole thing leads up to a perpetual motion energy source for uganda is where he's headed on
it yeah zero point how many how many countries do you think he pitched it to before uganda
was like i suppose you can come on
television theories he went alphabetically that's funny he's getting turned away by like
by pygmies so he did like three or four hours laughing their asses off at you right now we
gotta do something else this is gonna work on the jre he did hours
of talk just like that you know all sorts of like just it mostly starts off with how extraordinary
he is his resume which we don't know anything about and then it leads to things like the
geometry of math the geometry of flight the the resonant frequency of helium and i'm just
it sounds like a thing i don't understand, but I think it's just nonsense.
Yeah, it seems like it.
Yeah, it seems like nonsense.
What does it mean to...
He's importing it into geometry.
That doesn't mean anything.
Because it doesn't have the words.
You can tell when someone doesn't know what they're talking about.
They don't have the words
to even explain
what they're talking about have he can't put those
things you can get a ton of patents as long as you pay the you can get a bunch of theoretical
pets there i mean there's a that one guy uh who's that one guy uh there's a fellow with like sell
some kind of salvador that's his last name or something he has a theoretical patent for uh
uh those uaps they like to move them the navy the department of the navy has a theoretical patent for those UAPs to move them.
The Navy, the Department of the Navy has a guy named Salvo.
He's like an anti-grav, like gravity drive.
Yeah, shit that just can't exist physically.
Maybe he's drawn up specifications for something,
and the missing X in the formula that he's got is some unobtainium.
Element 112.
the x in the formula that he's got is some unobtainium it's like element 112 that that is able to levitate things at room temperature instead of at negative 275 degrees celsius and he
he doesn't have any accomplishments in this field but he has a lot of ideas and he wants to be
treated as if he had accomplishments and it's wow he's all over the internet today or this week i
should say jerry is like if he right, this will change the world.
That's how he led with the, like, you know, I just finished talking to this guy.
If he's right, he'll change the world.
Well, he wasn't right.
That's such a funny way to boost up an obvious kook.
Like, oh, if this guy's right, it's going to change everything.
And then he's like the lizard.
True.
Yeah, you can intro Alex Jones like that.
You can intro any number
that's funny it was tucker carlson tucker carlson was on the jre the other day and he was talking
about alex jones and and how he thinks that he's prophetic he talked he was like because he called
9-11 i guess like live on the air like years before it happened and um and he's like there's
no way you could just you just have those details joe there's no way you could just have those details, Joe. There's no way you could just guess that.
And I'm like, he guesses something different
every week, you know?
If there's a guy who's a broken
clock who's right twice a day,
it's got to be him, right? You just throw
so much stuff out there.
But only about 9-11 and people
in high power with pedophilia.
Only about those two things. Just 9-11
and the people in power and pedophilia only about those two things just 9-11 and the people in power and
pedophilia yeah it's funny how like like 10 years ago if they were brought up like hey a lot of
these powerful people are fucking creepy pedophiles i'd be like shut up and now it's like yeah well
what are we gonna do like what are we gonna do about these creepy better what's the deal with
tucker carlson on russian tv do you guys got his own show on there now yeah on russian state
television what's he trying not to get it wrong though like is it approved did they just take
his show and start broadcasting it because he has a lot of pro-russian ideas is he doing his own
a different program like are they paying him it made it sound like tucker carlson moved from fox
to russian state tv that's he's on x i know yeah i, he's on Twitter. I thought he had an exclusive
thing with Elon. Or is that not...
Elon Music's exclusive.
Oh, okay.
I didn't know. You would say it is
up until you had it somewhere else to go
maybe, but yeah, I'm only working
at X because I have this exclusive thing with Elon.
But then as soon as Putin
is... It's not a great look
that he went like that according
to the hill conservative pundit tucker carlson's media company says a russian state television
agency is airing portions of his show without legal permission okay so they're just showing
his show a whole different thing then yeah that's what i i didn't want to get it wrong like i just
like no i get things wrong.
Those articles lied to me.
The Russians are stealing his content? Shame.
The Kremlin propaganda machine
has made Tucker Carlson its newest star
whether he likes it or not.
Oh, okay.
It's called Tucker Roycia 24.
That's pretty good.
Everyone can do accents but me.
You just got to practice in the shower.
You got to look in the mirror.
This is my Mexican accent.
Hello, senor.
And if you can't get it right, you just go real offensive with it.
Bebe de perro.
Woody, did you see those surfers in Mexico got murdered and thrown into a well
no were they good at surfing
I don't know
not anymore
how big a loss it was
I think the cartel caught the guys
who did it and delivered them
I love it when
shit like that happens
I love the whole series
when the cartel is like oh you can't do that, and they just turn the bad guys
over to the cops.
The cartel's like, look, we do a lot of bad things,
but we don't want to be associated with that one.
We don't kill American surfers,
though. We would never kill
an Australian and American surfer.
That's what it was, maybe. Definitely Australian
and maybe an American, but I think there were
three people maybe murdered
in Mexico, and there was a big who- who did it kind of thing. Do you know what
coast it was? I don't. Even if they said the name of it,
it wouldn't ring a bell to me because I don't know the names of geography in Mexico.
Yeah. I don't know. I think they're mostly on the
east coast of Mexico, but I'm not sure.
Okay.
Anyway. the east coast of mexico but i'm not sure ah okay okay yeah anyway i had to take my dog to the vet today he's uh he's he's got a earache that keeps coming back and now he's got a nosebleed so he's
fucking like which one is uh the old dog so like he shakes his head and then like flicks these tiny
flicks of blood all over the goddamn wall.
And I swear to God, Woody, the day before he got the nosebleed,
I had cleaned the baseboards.
I went hours of work for naught
because he's just gone behind me and she shakes his head.
And it's not like it's pools of blood,
but it's just enough that when he shakes his head,
just flicks blood all over the goddamn floor and the wall. i'm walking behind him cleaning up after him constantly now i've got
they're going to have to do an endoscopic uh examination they have to like go in his mouth and
into his nasal passages one of these unconscious is the one that oh husky a little bit yeah dude
free dogs are by far the most expensive oh yeah that he sucks. That dog costs $20 maybe tops.
I've traveled this road. Free dogs
are so costly.
Probably $1,500 into him at this point.
Something like that. Meanwhile, the expensive dog
is like no problems.
Just never been sick.
Just got him fixed.
I'm loving my dogs though. I've got my
little Pomeranian sitting over there right now
watching me. He's a Murphy. He right now watching me. He's Murphy.
He finally got the cash. Murphy's adorable.
Yeah, it's a cute fucking dog.
I made a good financial decision
today, so here's what happened.
Lightning struck and
totaled my wife's car.
All right. Big lightning.
It also took out our garage door opener.
Holy shit.
It broke our garage door opener.
A couple other little things we
keep discovering that are bad. Oh, wow.
Anyway, we're going to rent
out the guest house soon.
You know the friend that we pay for Colin?
He's going to move into that guest house
well below market. We just want him here.
So when he needed a place, it was a fit.
Anyway,
turns out the internet was busted.
So we have a cable that runs from the main house to the guest house.
And the internet, if you look at the little port on the wall, there's like soot on it
and it doesn't work.
So I hired an electrician.
Well, I had an electrician come out and give me a quote.
It was like $5,500 to replace two cables and run them underground and through the driveway
and all that stuff.
And I was like, $5,500. Like, I don't want to, I don't want to, it just hurts. So I, uh, I hired
like a TV installer type guy, like low voltage dude for a couple hundred dollars. And I was like,
you know, maybe it's just the end. So he's going to come out here and like,
he's like,
I can come on Wednesday.
And I'm like,
cool.
That's a fit.
He doesn't reply.
So on Wednesday morning,
when he's supposed to be here,
I'm like,
should I be expecting you?
And he's like,
Oh,
I didn't see that you replied.
And I nearly wrote,
don't bother coming.
You're fired.
That was my,
that was what was in my heart.
But he said he could come today, which was tomorrow.'m like all right that's fine whatever you know i'm not in a hurry i was just mad that
he didn't reply to my text and didn't show it just like he kind of ghosted me
so he shows up this morning super nice guy fixes it instead of 5 500 it's like 300 and it's fixed
and i was like oh i'm glad it worked out
like that so yeah yeah that's good sometimes you get uh a quote from someone and then you realize
they were just literally trying to scam you although electric can be different i i don't know
it depends maybe for what he was doing that's a good price but you just didn't need that done you know they'll
do that too we got this crazy quote for from an ac guy one time that was like tens of thousands
like and then a second guy came and fixed a 80 part and it was like what was that first guy doing
yeah yeah it was a capacitor or um just a compressor motor or something like that.
Some minor thing. Some shit you can do yourself.
Yeah.
And he was like, oh, you need a whole
new unit here, but a different
bigger one.
I'm not going with you right now.
I made that exact mistake.
On the second floor of this house,
the AC in this room wasn't
good enough. So we call him up and we the AC in this room wasn't good enough.
So we call them up and we're like, this room's too hot.
It has a unique problem in that there's like four monitors in here, two computers, this, that, and the other.
It generates its own heat.
So it needs some better AC solution.
So they're like, all right, $18,000.
We're going to replace.
We had like an old mismatched AC heating thing going on. We're going to replace all that. We're going to replace your duct work. We're going to replace. We had like an old mismatched AC heating thing going on.
He's like,
we're gonna replace all that.
We're going to replace your duct work.
We're going to make it great.
And I was like,
that's a lot,
but I won't tolerate this room being like 87 degrees during the show.
That's not okay.
So they do it and it's not better.
And it's like this blows this super blows.
And they're like,
well, what if we put like a mini
split in just that room and uh they did it at cost you know no labor fees or anything because
i wasn't happy yeah and now i love the mini split and we did have a very old ac unit but i don't
feel happy i've got that i've got that uh ac unit AC unit that I installed in my last garage to make it a gym.
And I ordered it off Amazon and installed it myself.
Mini splits are awesome.
It's very good.
They're sick.
Yeah, it's like $12,000, $13,000 to get them installed and the labor and all that stuff.
You can buy one for $800 fucking bucks and just do it yourself.
And it's easy.
Yep. It wasn't that hard. I did it in maybe three afternoons uh every i have this thing where when i get too
frustrated with something i have to walk away or i'll start breaking shit uh oh you don't want to
open up huh i own you i started where's the hammer where's the bat you know i'm not even
i'm just wanting to break stuff i broke an ikea shelf for
that for that reason yeah like growing up we put the backing on reverse looked like shit and i just
broke it did you feel like a big man when it's you versus an ikea shelf it folds like i could
break mdf like sugar glass It's meant to break.
I've definitely smashed some shit before because I was just so goddamn mad at it.
And I've definitely said,
okay, well, we're just going to cut it all off
with a blowtorch or with cutting pliers.
I remember I was trying to get a spare tire
out from under one of my dad's trucks growing up.
I had gotten a flat tire
and I couldn't figure out how to drop the tire
from underneath the Silver silverado i think
there's a thing you pull to one and there's a cable back there and that cable unlocks and then
you're able to remove it or something but i just cut the fucking cable that was holding it i was
give me that fucking tire he was not happy about that but i didn't think it mattered
and the acetylene torch was always the the the easy switch when any project started
giving you any shit because oh yeah nothing stands up to an acetylene torch sometimes you can heat a
nut and get it off with acetylene torch too bearings too you'll heat up bearings they'll
start squirting grease um you're like investigative journalism i'll call it, you've done, Caleb, on your channel.
What's the most fucked up person or tale you've studied?
Anything that kept you awake at night?
First off, I definitely wouldn't call it investigative journalism.
I would say the most bizarre one, though, the biggest, strangest one
was probably Daniel Larson. Cause I made a video about it like two years ago or a while ago. And
it was kind of not, it was just like, a lot of people were like, you're just making fun of a guy
who's got mental illness and now he's in jail and is a pedophile. So it's like, I can do that.
Right. And so I would say Daniel though, because it's like i can do that right and so i would say daniel though
because it's a really long story that i've kept up with and i've watched him just be
literally manipulated by the internet and turn and go to jail i would say because of the internet
uh like i i don't think he's at fault really when it comes down to it like obviously you know it's
past the point of no return throw him away like it's he's not going to be a functioning member of society but i think
that the internet 100 had something to do with it or everything to do with it um and i think that's
fucked up yeah not everyone should have not everyone should be online yeah for sure a lot
of people should probably the majority of people shouldn't. It's a dangerous, poisonous place.
Yeah.
The internet was fine until we started talking to each other.
Then it got all fucked up.
When they let us have a voice, that's when shit got messed up.
When it was just downloading instructions for your hard drive to how to install it, everything was fine.
Everything was fine.
When you just wanted to know the weather, the news, whatever, whatever the internet was fine and then we started talking to each other and now
it's a mess of misinformation and lies and tricks it's like those memes where it's like like someone
who i think it's like an old 4chan post where it's like you know in 1980 some dude's like i want to
fuck toasters and they're like you're retarded don't fuck a toaster you're
going to ruin your life and then like do that in 2024 and it's like i want to fuck toasters
oh there's a whole reddit called toaster fucking and a bunch of people who are already halfway down
this this despair hole will encourage you down it as well it's like there's there's no breaks
for some of this stuff pretty scary which is definitely a
problem like you get more of these like weird maladaptive behaviors when you facilitate
entire communities around that like like furries for example like you wouldn't have conventions
of those people if they just would have been bullied out of it early and often but
now they go to their little spaces and they hang out in their stinky sweaty mascot uniforms
and and they're and they take over parks i haven't actually seen them take over a park
but i've seen pictures of their conventions online which is for me i like furries they
seem like nice people right i have no. I just picked them because they're an easy group to pick on.
I just imagine furries to be a really loving, fun-headed group.
They're not much different than Star Wars fans or something.
For sure.
That's how, yeah, there's a lot of, I've done a good bit of research on furries as well,
and they're pretty nice.
They're pretty nice.
I know a lot of them.
And I took a very middle ground approach in spite of me wanting to just relentlessly bully them, just because they're pretty nice i know a lot of them um and i took like a very middle ground approach in spite
of me wanting to just relentlessly bully them um just because they're different and uh uh they were
very appreciative of me doing that and they showed how nice they were to me and invited me in their
circles and i someone sent me a free mask and stuff yeah yeah oh no now unfortunately it was not worth it do you still have the mask
i do not i sent it back oh that's a smart move yeah yeah you're you're furry adjacent but not
not one of them i'd say i'm furry adjacent i do have friends that are furries that are known
furries but i do i relentlessly bully them though still i I'm not a defender of furries, but I will admit that they are good people.
Do you know what's funny?
The only furry for real I've ever talked to and met is the guy from The Hangout,
who hasn't been there in a while.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he's cool as shit.
Just a good dude.
I like him.
It's like 100% of my actual furry interactions have been with a guy that I like.
I remember he had a furry convention coming up so he got like a little extra lean and fit i guess he likes to bottom and be uh you know just a lightweight sex toy he just
likes to be gay and we said go for it we'll take lock and load yeah like they lock and load
absolutely ruin your friend's squirrel outfit with your big loads i i want to be a furry defender i i imagine myself with the shield
but it's big and blue like that guy from monsters inc you know with the fire and sully
yeah sully yeah thank you thank you what a good movie that was what a furry defender we have yeah Monsters Inc was great
you know how
Blame Truth has been railing against the skill based
matchmaking for years now with Call of Duty
yes is he still doing that
of course there's a new game called
I think it's X Defiant
maybe it's in beta right now and their
whole thing is no skill based
matchmaking we prioritize ping
and I think that it's made by Zach was maybe telling me about this last And their whole thing is no skill-based matchmaking. We prioritize ping.
And I think that it's made by,
Zach was maybe telling me about this last week.
I think it's the developers from maybe Black Ops 1 or 2,
something like that.
And I think they have access to a bunch of Ubisoft assets.
So I don't recognize the maps,
but they're from games that people would recognize. And it looked like Call of Duty, but with wacky
shit going on.
I don't know how to explain it, but
there was wacky shit going on. Fireworks and
confetti deaths. Sure.
Players all
looking pretty silly, like lots of different
player models, but the guns
look cool. The gunplay looked
like old school cod with like
when you could slide but you know into people and stuff and uh what was the other thing it
looked like you could spawn trap maybe it it looked like old cod but 2024 model of old
is old cod a good game or just the best game so far at the time the gunplay the gunplay just felt good and i think it felt good it felt
good without the skill-based matchmaking because you'd go on those runs and there was all that
camaraderie that you built up with your teammates it's like man we are unstoppable and it's like we
are unstoppable and unless we join a tournament that's like that's like cherry picked by a by an
algorithm to throw us up against tough
competition like are you trying to win a tourney tonight no you're trying to like pub stop with
your buddies and so i i don't know we've talked about that ad nauseam but i just think it's
for the user it's definitely better without skill-based matchmaking if you're the kind of
guy who's good at games or wants to be good at games or has friends to play with, but for the game to have player retention,
it's clearly better to have skill-based matchmaking.
Do you get break enough from the farm life to game much or not?
Not so much.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I game,
I play room world though.
I don't,
uh,
I'm not a big first person shooter guy.
I used to really like halo a lot.
I still love halo. I'm sitting in a $1 shooter guy. I used to really like halo a lot. I still love halo.
I'm sitting in a $1,700 master chief chair.
Um,
so big,
big fan of halo overall,
but like haven't played it since reach really.
Uh,
cod never really played much.
Sometimes I'll play Tarkov occasionally.
Rim world.
I imagine it's not as sexy as I imagine.
Have you ever heard of dwarf fortress?
That's a VR game.
Dwarf Fortress or RimWorld?
Dwarf Fortress.
I think you're not getting the rimming jokes, but okay.
I get you. Yeah, yeah.
It's a top-down game?
I Google imaged it real quick. It's ass.
It's like a top-down story generator game.
Exactly. He walked into it it i held it out there
um the uh yeah rimworld's awesome though it's dwarf fortress is one of the longest developed
games of all time it's like you can live 17 000 years in the fucking game or whatever like it's
it's crazy there's just you can do anything and rimworld is a sci-fi non-dwarf version of that.
I love it.
It's very fun.
You have these little creatures.
I don't know.
I got problems.
Is it a real-time strategy?
Basic.
Kind of, yeah.
It's hard to explain, to be honest.
It's fucking weird.
You have these people.
You have a level of control over them.
You can macro-micro-manage them.
You can make them have babies.
You can put the babies in vats to grow them faster.
You can create an entire theology
for your people to
proselytize
and evangelize.
You can do a lot of shit.
You can capture wild men
um and you can traverse the entire world as well because it's a really long time it's not like
they can last indefinitely yeah is this it's not like you play for 15 minutes win or lose and then
play again right yeah you can give yourself very difficult parameters and it'll be like a 30 45
minute play time um like if you can only eat
insects you make your characters where they can only like their religion prevents them from like
they'll kill themselves if they eat anything but insects shit it's fucking awesome i love it
are you always in it by yourself or is it competitive or just oh it's just me buddy it's just me it's sad what is this
game no this is a lot of fun yeah i've never even heard of this rimworld i love rimworld
i like the like 8-bit not 8-bit whatever that graphic style is style is. I don't mind that at all. I like it. I also have 140 mods installed as well.
Like bug-eating mods and anti-suicide prevention measures?
Pretty much.
Yeah, pretty much.
I have a massive compound right now with my little world,
and I have nine people, which is a pretty large amount.
Usually I die before that or something goes wrong.
I play on a very hard difficulty.
So how long is this game going?
You've been rolling.
This game's probably six hours.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, that's six hours in.
I was picturing like you were,
it's like, yeah, this is my world.
And I've been doing it since 2012.
No, you will die.
Like there are points to where
the game will be impossible
at some points like i just had an instance where i thought that was going to happen where
spaceships got into uh space combat over the specific hemisphere of my planet and there was
like debris from the ships crashing down and smashing my shit and uh like stray blasts from
their lasers were blowing my shit up and starting forest fires.
And I got to like, I was getting stressed.
I started sweating.
It was really funny.
Are you having to like quickly in real time be like, okay, you go over here with a bucket.
Yes.
And dump.
Yeah.
And just hope that they, you know, they don't get too hot and die while they're putting out the fires and
um hope that they're they're motivated enough to be able to effectively you know cross the map and
like sometimes they won't go through water they don't feel good so and so this is the only thing
you play you're just this is the only thing i've played in like three months yeah fair yeah i love
when i find a game i'm so into i just lose interest in all other ones
yeah yeah yeah i do love games though i love gaming i i yeah i love gaming i've been playing
a bunch of that arena breakout game the one that's uh the tarkov copy uh i i really hope
that that game ruins tarkov's market when it comes out uh it's in beta right now, but it's really good. It's really good. They made it better,
honestly.
Just putting your gear on your character,
buying and building guns,
it's all just streamlined and easy.
That's cool.
There's nothing that's hard to understand about it.
There's some shortcomings, too.
I don't think the missions
and the storyliner is rich,
but the gunplay is excellent.
How about the maps?
The size of them compared to Tarkov's
sizes, how would you compare them?
Smaller? Yeah, smaller
probably. I've only
played the first two maps.
I think you have to unlock the maps
as you go or something. The second
one's big. I'm not even quite sure how big it is.
Probably it's Tarkov size, I guess.
Okay.
But I would say smaller,
and the spawn points are probably something they'll want to work on
because once you have the spawn points memorized,
both teams sort of know where each other are,
and they either run or it's a fight right now that we've had before,
and that happens. Right when the game starts sometimes like there'll be a huge firefight like almost
immediately like a minute or two into the game factory yeah but you're out in an open field
wheat field with like buildings in a town or that's cool second floor first floor uh i've
been having a ton of fun using the shotguns the shotguns are so fucking strong in that game um just like they would be in real life yeah yeah
so i'm just running around with a double barrel with ap20s in it just being a menace because you
can one tap people to the chest with that thing it's been it's fun how much time are you putting
in a day not that much i'm only you know i'm probably playing four or five games a day or
something like that nobody else has it i don't know anybody else who has the beta such play by myself. And so last night I'm like I log on at 10 p.m
Eastern time and everybody's Chinese all three of my teammates are Chinese and they're going back and forth. Sure Wow
Paul what's what Paul a
FPA Kyle Rue
Like hi F-O-P-A-R-U. And I was like, hi.
People are strong.
People are strong.
Did you say, hello?
I said, hello.
She says she's broken English.
Oh, hello, my Pharaoh-arise.
Oh, my God.
I don't want to upset him. 你学中国人吗?
That was good.
Say 你好.
你好.
你好.
Tell him 你好 and then say
我学
我学中国
I forget how to say it.
What is that?
I'm speaking Chinese right now.
我学中国人吗?
Or some shit.
I don't fucking know. Wu shi chong guo ren ma.
Changua means like common language or some shit like that.
And then if you say a little bit, it's EDR.
That means like a little bit.
EDR? Chong guo ren ma?
That's good. You know like three things to say.
I did a month.
I did a month of Pimsleur.
Please do this or that.
How do I tell him there's a bad guy behind the windmill?
You say,
That means you are gay.
You know, like three phrases.
You are gay.
Dude, that's a great way to learn a language.
You're just like,
you're gay in Italian.
I think I got what I wanted out of this.
I learned it seriously for about a month and then i was like all right i'm gonna google translate i'll say you are gay and that's it i'm done now i can at least talk the the chinese yeah can't
you like say stuff like against their government on the chat oh wow well or actually no it's a chinese game you'd get you'd
get the x oh yeah maybe maybe you're not allowed to start talking about there say god i'm gonna
mind my p's and q's on the chinese game with the chinese players you've been minding your rsls
yeah it's a fun free to play game you know i didn't have to send them any shekels so so i'm
gonna i'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt and so far it's really fucking fun have you been like clearly way less skilled than your chinese compatriots no i'm pretty good at
the game honestly like not as good as a hacker not as good as a hacker no i'm okay at it though
like i win more of my gunfights than i lose and the gunfights are very tarkarkov-like. I don't know. I kind of used to
the recoil and everything.
Did they bully you at all?
I didn't talk, so I don't think they knew.
They were definitely in a...
Maybe they weren't even buddies.
They were just talking. Because they were talking in-game.
Not in a private chat.
A Discord or something, obviously.
Oh, okay.
I think it's just a lot of chinese players because it's
a chinese game probably that is that's a scary thing in gaming like if i'm in the ranked aoeq
and i see a bunch of fucking pound size bunch of glyphs yeah some pinion yeah i'm like i'm in
trouble i'm in serious trouble here is it because you think they're very good or they're cheating? It's because I think they're probably
very good.
They're known for their
gaming prowess.
That's the Koreans to me.
Where was
it where that guy
got stabbed in Counter-Strike
and so he made it his mission to
track down his killer and
stabbed him in real life like that i
think that was korea i think that was a korean it sounds korean i think i know that because you told
me yeah dude that's so hardcore because like like i i always heard that he got stabbed in counter
strike which i think is like a humiliation kind of it'd be like getting stabbed in tarkov i think
it's like it doesn't happen too often if somebody does it they kind of styled on you
okay so like if that happened,
he was just so red-assed about
it that he made it his mission to track the guy
down. My life is now over.
I've seen a video of someone
coming into one of those internet cafes and start
stabbing the guy up, but I don't know if it's that
video. I just remember the blood on
the floor. Like that's the thing you see
when you see a video of someone being stabbed,
blood goes everywhere. There's so much blood it's awful but your skin's keeping that in yeah
have you seen the video the the guy who jumps across the counter and the clerk stabs him and yes it just smokes crazy
dude that smoke shop
that guy was so cat
it's like that was his 11am stabbing
yeah
he had that slated and he was ready to handle
the show and also like
he's fucking good at it
the knife went in so much smoother
than I thought it would
looked easy
right into the back.
And I mean, you get what you pay for,
or you get what you don't pay for in that circumstance.
He was trying to rob the Asian
guys. I don't know what kind of store
it was. Smoke shop?
Smoke shop? Okay. You ever stab an animal?
Yes, once when I
was like
six or so. I went through a phase where I was killing cats.
I was on my grandpa's farm and he had like a huge issue in one of his ponds of like turtles.
And they were causing problems for all the fish and other animals.
There were so many of them.
And I hadn't like my five,
I was probably five actually.
And he,
cause he had,
he had given me a knife and like I had in my head,
Ninja turtle style that like you could do anything to a,
a turtle shell.
It's not going to kill it.
And I was wrong.
He told me to,
that I,
I was like,
if I stabbed,
like what would happen if i stabbed this
and he was like well you know give it a go and then
and so i okay bill cosby it just went right in and killed it and i was like i remember just being
like in my head i was like's going to glance off harmlessly.
This is a beautiful shell.
I had the exact same scenario.
Yeah, what a terrible memory.
You know what a frog gigger is?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's like a trident, basically, in the way it's shaped.
You have a long wooden pole, and on the end, you've got this, like, forked, tri-forked thing to gig frogs with, stab them and eat them or whatever.
And I stabbed a turtle with it when I was like 10.
And it's barbed.
So now it's stuck inside the turtle.
And I feel awful now.
And I want to put the turtle out of its misery.
So I'm just smashing the whole thing on the rocks
as hard and fast as I can.
I'm just trying to end this poor little turtle life
because I've ruined it.
I was crying.
I felt awful.
I've killed so many animals
really ruined my day i uh and i stabbed it back then no back then i was like five and i thought
that i thought that it was going to be fine i really thought like turtles wouldn't have spells
if they weren't effective and it was not effective my grandpa's pocket knife my great-grandpa's
pocket knife went boom right through that thing.
Kittens don't last around here.
We have too many hawks, falcons, whatever they are.
Yeah.
There's red-tailed hawks.
Did you guys know any kids growing up
that actually burned ants
and stuff with magnifying glasses?
I would do that to ants.
I remember specifically I started to do that once
because i had i had i must have been watching fucking some cartoon show where they were having
fun it might have been the simpsons on like and i was a little kid and i was like doing it on the
the back patio and i could like see the little burn. And there was like a procession of ants. And I think I literally only burned like one.
And then immediately was just consumed with like, what are you doing?
Let that be a lesson to the rest of you.
Yeah, you're just you're just killing an animal for no, no reason.
Anthony, like an old ONA as a fun reminded me of this because we're talking about horrific animal deaths.
old ona as a fun it reminded me of this because we're talking about horrific animal deaths he was like yeah i just i he had the top of a like a soup can lid like that you like the very sharp
after it's been you know taken off and he said there was a lizard in his backyard and that he
like rolled that over the lizard and he's like and i still remember, at the time he's telling the story,
he's probably like in his late 40s.
And he's like, and I still remember
rolling it over that lizard.
And I'd never heard a lizard make a noise.
And it went,
it screamed at me.
And I cried and I cried.
And I was like, why?
What have I done?
What have I done with this soup can?
Jesus Christ.
That's awful.
It's terrible.
Everyone leave a comment about what animals you've killed.
Oh my god, yeah.
I'm like thinking about that shit.
I might have to ask you guys
to cut that out. Holy fuck.
Does that make me look like a crazy murderer?
No.
You were following orders.
You can't be blamed any more than the Nazis were.
I know. I would like to tell.
I would like to explain who it is.
He's a famous guy.
He's a famous cowboy.
A famous farmhand?
A cowboy. The farm belonged to a famous
cowboy. It was his farmhand.
Cowboy Cerrone.
Were you on
Cowboy Cerrone?
Was it Don Wayne?
No, it was way worse.
He's riding bulls now. Have you seen him riding bulls?
He's cool. I like Cowboy Cerrone.
Cowboy Cerrone?
I've seen that he got on the juice and he looks
fantastic. Yeah, he got on the juice for sure. He hurt his got on the juice and he looks fantastic yeah he got on the juice for sure
he hurt his arm on the bull
and he like jerked his arm
it's one of those things where you're tied to it
and he couldn't get loose and he asked a cowboy
he's like how long does it take for one of them
to heal and the guy's like
oh it never heals
it's just like what are you doing
to yourself that sport doesn't appeal
to me at all I know Taylor's grandpa likes bull riding i will tune in when they do there's a bit where everybody
sits at a poker table and they let a bull loose and the last man still sitting at that table wins
the prize whatever the fuck it is cash i think that's kind of interesting to me but the idea
getting on that motherfucker scary that. That's not for me.
It's just the injuries. I think I'd really
enjoy trying to ride a bull.
That part I'd like, but there's a 100%
chance I'd get hurt.
At my age, I can't even fall off a bull.
I'd post up my wrist or something stupid.
What about
that motorcycle gear that inflates the airbags
around you?
Ooh.
Exactly.
Like, every time you fall over,
you want to look uncool.
And we got Pussy Pants Woody
coming out.
You got all your shit on.
Dude, the problem with bull riding is there's no payoff.
Like,
unless you're, like, the guy.
It's like, oh, this is Johnny Stevenson.
This is his fourth ride of the day.
He got noticeable brain damage in the last one.
And now we're seeing, and he wins this one.
He qualifies for the Montana Open, which has a first place prize.
Tony, what's the first place prize on that?
$11,000.
It's so not enough money to ruin your life.
The best in the world spend like they make like 150
grand a year and spend 90 000 driving around like it's jd mooney is like the only bull rider to ever
have like actually made a lot of wealth from from uh bull riding there's a few others maybe
a few minutes sorry go ahead no no that's. No, no, no. That's the problem. If the Michael Jordan of your sport earns 200 grand,
then yeah,
I was looking at bull related sports,
like on Wikipedia.
I got on some,
some related sports.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's like,
it's like that.
And Matadors.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And like every single famous Matador,
they'd be like,
and he was at the best in all the game.
And I would like click his link and it'd be like and he was at the best in all of the game and i would like click
his link and it'd be like you know he fought 300 bulls and he was born in 1970 and died in 1994
and i'm like oh none of those guys live a long time no they're all getting like and these were
not like the oh we make a fun of him for being ridiculously bad at fighting at the bull.
It's like, no, this guy's really good at the fighting of the bull.
And he still gets every single death.
It's like he sustained a serious head injury and then died in the hospital four days later.
Like the bull riding doesn't seem to be that cruel to the bull.
Like, like maybe I got to imagine that.
I mean, the bull's not like pleased with it,
but like,
yeah,
he's not having a,
maybe he's not having a good time.
Maybe he's having a great time.
It's hard to tell frankly,
cause he's a bull.
But I know that those bulls at the Matadors fight when they're setting their
horns on fire and they had these jab,
I don't know what to call them.
Yeah.
A javelin,
but it's this short throwing spear that has barbs.
And then it has like this flowery decorative shit on the end.
And they're just like torturing that bull slowly over the course of hours.
Yeah.
And like,
and I also,
well,
the ones that they kill them in the streets sometimes.
And they're like,
like,
like,
like they have like a stadium.
So they have the big stadium ones,
but I've seen in smaller cities where they have like an outdoor arena.
Like they take the city square and they just have a crowd around you know in a big circle and they're just torturing
it to death out there that's the same place where they used to throw like goats and chickens off the
towers on on like holidays and stuff they just they enjoy no one culture is better than another
disagree on that what like the japanese do to whales is like what the spaniards are doing to bulls
yeah just fucking with them no reason is there anything we do like that like like as americans
like i mean we do it to like afghanistan and iraq but yeah countries coups yeah we are so
on coups but we don't fuck up animals like that.
No, just governments.
Factory farming?
Factory farming is reprehensible.
That's not just us, though.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You don't want any ribs?
I want the ribs.
Are you going to check the no ribs for Taylor box?
No.
I'm planning on cooking ribs this very weekend, Kyle.
Don't discourage an entire industry.
Okay?
Don't spit in the eye industry. Okay? Don't
spit in the eye. I'm going to make one rack that's
sweet and one rack that's vinegary, ideally.
That's right.
And one rack that's a farmer out there
keeping those pigs in a dark, dark
fucking building.
Cave pigs.
Okay, well, I don't know.
I guess we really don't
torture animals for fun.
We have that over the Japanese.
Is there something that other countries consider
cruel and dumb?
What do we do?
Are we just the best?
That's a possibility.
I think they look down on our school shootings
as if that's part of our culture.
They look down on our school.
They're very judgy about it.
Nobody likes that.
No one sees that and is like no one enjoys it in culture what's with school shootings though like especially if you're
like an adult going there like sandy hook i think was that situation that you vowed they i'm not
sure about that one but like if you go in um columbine it where you're shooting your classmates
it's horrible but at least understand that this maybe was pent up
Frustrations or something
If you're an adult and you just go to an
Elementary school like Sandy Hook what is
The motivation why are we mad at the
Kids usually
They have manifestos and when
Someone has a manifesto
Like already I'm like this
Person's probably a fucking kook
Catching strays.
I don't like that take either.
About being crazy?
About manifestos. I have some rivals.
Everyone has some tomes, some
writings.
I just wanted to jot a few things down.
Some scrolls, dude.
I just have some ideas on how things could be better.
Sometimes you read a manifesto
and you go,
Ted has some points
yeah
Taylor's the kind of fool
who doesn't know
anything about
the color of sound
that's true
I don't know anything
about the magnetic
resonance frequency
of carbon
or whatever
wait till you hear
about it
I haven't listened
to a Rogan in forever
but I think
I'm gonna
tune into that one
sounds fun
Terrence Howard
yeah he sounds like he's mentally ill he does yeah to a Rogan in forever, but I think I'm going to tune into that one. It sounds fun. Terrence Howard, yeah.
He sounds like he's mentally ill.
He does, yeah.
If he's right, he's going to change the world.
Well, he's not, though. He's mentally ill.
You could say that about tons of...
You ever see the
scribblings of a
schizophrenic? Sometimes it'll be like,
oh, shit.
Damn, I'm not qualified to tell if any of this if
this makes sense or not like there'll be a lot of geometry and a lot of equations maybe there'll be
some physics equations and then there's like scribbled out this is it this is the solution
big circles and you're like all right i think i made this joke already but like if i like ever
was like gonna i was going out in a blaze of glory like i'm not smart enough to have a manifesto like that and so it would just be reams of paper
of like simple math it'd be like five seven minus four minus three divided by two
order of operations stuff in there slow your roll baby. Not even division. Right at the top.
E equals MC squared. Big circle around it.
I have bits scratched off.
That's fucking funny.
Carbon plus
nitrogen equals car-nitrogen.
Car-nitrogen.
Retardation.
What if the sun isn't real?
The problem when a celebrity
goes mentally ill is
because their whole thing
is being in the public eye and
being entertaining or whatever,
nobody rushes in to
help them because it's like, hey, this is working.
This is working. This new thing. Y'all are getting a lot of buzz.
And they're like, buzz, buzz, buzz.
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo. And it's like, you're out're out of your mind i'm not gonna say who's creating the buzz it's jewish people yeah it's it's uh because
britney spears you're seeing it again you're seeing her they they gave her her money back
they ended that conservative conservatorship that she was under. Now we've slowly been seeing her get
kookier and kookier on social media.
I was defending
the knife dance because it's just
choreography from
a music video, most of her dancing.
The knife thing, I think, was from a Lady Gaga
video or something like that. She was
kind of parodying something, but she's
also a nut. She's definitely crazy.
Clearly. I bet she was abused six ways from Sunday as a young starlet
because they tend to do that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's up with that?
Why do they do that?
Why do they do that?
They can get away with it.
Are we questioning why someone would sexually abuse a young Britney Spears?
Because they were horny and they knew they could get away with it just got here i mean i remember i still remember like going to that taco bell and they had her poster with
her big titties and my dad going wow and my mom going she's 16 lamar
it's like i don't know she's 5 8 with giant titties poking at me at Taco Bell. I didn't know she was a child.
Classic, classic Lamar.
He's a rap stallion, that guy.
You can't stop him.
At the peak of her career, Britney Spears went on CNN,
and they asked for her opinion on the Iraq War,
which was raging at the time.
And she's like like i don't know
i'm 17 and i sing oops i did it again i have no idea it was funny i think it's bad
good i don't know i don't like it i do like it i'm getting a nod my public well done there
i want to get air superiority over the gulf right now the fifth fleet has moved in and they are uh
wreaking havoc with iraqi air support like what if you had a technical explanation that would be
beautiful that would be so funny oh my god well i don't think that we understand the complex
geopolitics involved in these different groups well you've got this with the students in the
shia i'd say iran is just going to eat our lunch on this one, Mike.
We're going to throw a trillion dollars away.
We're going to lose influence and favor in the region.
It's going to be a quagmire.
Thank you, Britney Spears, everyone.
She's got her new album this summer, I'm a whore.
So I guess they're going to put her under,
they're saying she needs a conservatorship again.
Remember three years ago?
Well, they is us. Yeah. Well, I guess i guess she's going no i saw it on the internet but um a couple
years ago her father controlled all her finances and it's like this is ridiculously wrong she's a
grown woman leave her alone and now that no one's controlling her she's just going wild and needs
help yeah they are saying she's going through her money.
If you blow through $50 million,
that's kind of... I've got to imagine she could go on tour and make
as much money as she wants.
You know what I mean?
All she's got to do is work.
It's not hard work and it's a lot of money.
I just feel like a Britney Spears tour would do well.
A little reunion tour. I could see that.
That would be huge. She could do a knife dance oh i'd love the night what if she's like she's got she's
got somebody tied to that that big uh pinwheel spinning and she's throwing the knives at them
but she hasn't practiced at all they're just clanging off like missing way wide and the guy's
getting scared and scared her yeah that's one of the scariest things.
That's a real performance. When you see someone
throwing the knives at the dude on the thing, there's nothing
fake about that at all.
There was no way to fake it.
I thought the knives popped out
from behind the guy.
They throw in those fucking knives.
I thought it was like the little tourney thing was
like it had knives
ready to pop out no when you see
someone throwing knives at a person especially when they're on that board like they're just
throwing knives at them yeah here you go because i saw one where the guy gets hit with a knife
there here's the video from the it says 40s but i think it might even be a bit earlier. Oh, shit.
It's this mom who has her own kid standing in a cutesy pose.
Me if I was a dad.
Like 30s bathing suit.
Oh, my God.
That one almost didn't stick.
Yeah, one of them didn't stick and fell down right on the little girl's arm.
And she's doing this for not a big crowd of people no it's
more people are going to watch this
oh my god
and it's children
maybe if they
that's pretty terrifying to see
you can probably show that
it's 1903
it's 1940s
no way it's 40s it has to be before that
Lula Gallagher that's her name let's look that up that was crazy claimed for this 1940s. No way it's 40s. It has to be before that.
Luella Gallagher.
That's her name. Let's look that up.
That was crazy. She's a fucking legend. I googled it.
Kyle's right, of course.
The vast majority
are real. Sometimes they're
magicians that do tricks.
Wait, hold on. Rewind it and turn the
sound up so we can get this.
Five years old and Colleen Sue, two and a half, are a big help to Mother Luella,
who is no mean hand with a handful of knives.
Connie Ann is a veteran at being a target for her mother's cutlery
and doesn't turn a hair at Ma's cut-ups, even though Ma's pretty sharp with the cleavers.
But Connie's ready for a stand-in, and evidently for a different world have y'all ever thrown knives in sight accessfully so like i mean she's very close to it she's
spinning the knives once you can be real accurate like that but i would never throw at a person
like we've we've done trick shots with people holding targets up before
but like with guns like i i go in straight lines yeah they go in real straight you know
their whole thing is that they're accurate you know like holy shit she's throwing those knives
and she's clearly not good enough at it to do that like the fact that some of them didn't land
completely perfectly flush and she's not like drawing a perfect circle around the kid that they're
just kind of like two of them practically hit
each other right and I'm like
that's not she was trying to do all the knives
were spaced by like six inches except two
that hit each other almost so
one was off by six inches yeah
yeah it didn't look good this is I was wrong this is
a that was a 1950 clip
1950
it feels like that's so much more.
My dad's in his 20s or something.
After the night show,
Luella Gallagher sends her children
to an all-white school.
That's like
what was happening.
She does it for a crowd. A crowd
sometimes numbering the teens.
A crowd out of four people.
Out of four people. Four other night-growing families all in a compound that voice back in the day like yeah the transatlantic yeah that is like
the transatlantic it's it's it was supposed to be like a mix of everything so people could
hear it clearly and oh really yeah it's like a put-on accent. Nobody sounds like that. Right, right.
But I always thought it was some sort of
microphone limitation.
That was always my guess.
Maybe the mics weren't as good
or it couldn't get picked up.
But usually it's because British
people and American could all understand it well.
Yeah, the transatlantic
accent.
Look at that clip
oh my god
not everybody's qualified for the knives of people
is this guy gonna get knifed? I don't wanna see this
oh fuck
if that guy hadn't moved
Kyle linked a video
it was on reddit
and the knife, it's gonna go like between the guy's eyes
and he dodges it
and then the knife is right where his he dodges it and then the knife
is right where his head used to be and then the dude throws another fucking knife like that last
one didn't almost kill him yeah and the guy who's having the knife stone i was like what the fuck
he said oh shit he looks very upset yeah where is that happening somewhere in south america on
like it's on some stage in ve probably or something. Everybody does that trick.
It's evergreen.
If you Google knife thrower accidentally hits,
Google will help you out with the rest, I promise.
It's happened plenty of times.
I mean, I wouldn't put my daughters on the stage
and throw knives at them.
Maybe I'm just a different community.
That's where we're different.
I'd put your daughters.
You're a puss.
Man, a different that's where we're different i'd put you man a different time indeed what a what a bizarre like that i feel like i'd be such a stick in the
mud if i was back there it's like that someone's birthday party and i would be like the the
annoying oh what are we doing i'd be like hey
guys come on can we just enjoy the cake a little bit you like grab the kid
she's probably on amphetamines as well like that would that would track uh with the times yeah at
the time they'd be like this pinko doesn't want me throwing knives at my American daughter.
Yeah, like housewife drugs.
Amphetamines or whatever it was.
He's hysterical. Finger his ass.
That's what they used to do to women.
Yeah.
They'd give him steam-powered vibrators.
No, they'd go to Dr. Feelgood
and then he would put an
industrial vibrator in them.
Steam-powered.
They'd have to shove a little bit of coal in that goddamn thing.
To treat hysteria.
I was at the, like, around 1910, I think, in that era,
the British were trying to come up with a new submarine,
and it needed to do 20 knots, one on the surface,
to keep up with the rest of the fleet.
That was, like, one of the requirements that they had as they were having these
things built.
And they're like,
Oh,
we got that.
No problem.
Like really,
really.
How have you,
how have you gotten the diesel engines to get you such speed?
And they're like,
diesel.
They made coal steam powered submarines in the early 1900s. You can imagine it didn't
go well. It didn't go well at all.
It was the K-class submarines.
The British K-class submarines. I watched
a whole documentary about
all the men who died.
It had a crush depth of 200 feet.
It was also 200 feet long, which meant
that the front could be out of water and the bottom
could be about to explode.
So you just
injected toothpaste. And when was this?
Like 19...
early 1900s, like 1910, 1915.
Like
they were... there was this
apparently incredibly complex sequence
of valves that had to be turned... that had to be
opened and or closed to
surface and descend.
And just so, so often,
someone wouldn't close one as they went down.
And also you have the problem
that you have a steam engine inside your submarine
that's also full of 50 dudes.
Where's the air come from?
Well, they run the steam engine on the surface,
but you still have boilers
that are giant vats of boiling water
that are making the inside a humid, burning hot mess.
And occasionally when you have an accident, someone gets neutralized with hyper-pressurized super steam that just melts them into nothingness.
But they run batteries when they're under the water.
I saw it looked like it was the first military submarine ever.
It was using the Civil War.
And I don't know how it was powered.
Like this.
Really?
Yeah.
Did you do it by hand?
I know by hand.
Either three or four guys were in the back of the cylinder,
and they had a crankshaft that they were rotating like this
that turned a propeller in the back.
That's genius.
That sucks. That's a shit job. That's genius. That sucks.
That's a shit job.
That's why the South lost.
The year was 18. It was hot.
No, I don't think it was.
I doubt it was that hot.
They're underwater.
I've just been here next to a bunch of sweaty guys.
In a dungeon.
And they all died.
They were wearing wool. It was an unsuccessful
mission. Yeah, it's a shame.
Well, you know, maybe better luck next time.
I want to see
that movie, the Civil War movie.
Me too.
I want to see that.
I tried to avoid
any spoilers from the previews and stuff,
but there's that one clip of uh he's
not fat damon anymore because he got on ozempic so like beth damon i'll call him from uh breaking
bad he's uh he's like a i don't know military u.s army man who's maybe on the confederate side or
whatever it's called and he comes upon like the the two characters and they're like we're americans
and he's like what kind of americans and i was like oh i're Americans! And he's like, what kind of Americans?
And I was like, ooh, I like that.
I like that. I want to watch this.
Kevin Costner came out with a new movie.
It must be released soon because it was shown at the Cannes Film Festival.
He put $38 million of his own money in that shit.
It has
bad reviews.
Terrible reviews.
I haven't seen it.
I don't have my own review, but I know everyone
was shitting on it. I don't think there were any
good reviews.
The thing at Cannes is
all the movies
get a 10-minute
standing ovation. I'm like, you
cock-sucking, pretentious pieces of shit.
You stood for 10 minutes and clapped
your hands.
Why don't we just get a five star system and everybody vote?
What are we doing?
Just blow him already.
Yeah.
I heard it got some long ovation that he cried with seven minute.
Yeah.
I'm looking at it right now.
I heard that too.
And then,
uh,
then the reviews came out and all those people that actually like it.
Yeah.
I don't think I'd clap for seven minutes for a surgeon that
saved my life.
After 40 seconds, I'd be like, all right, I'm going to get here.
Did he direct it?
Didn't he
fun direct and star in it?
I don't know, but
I'll say this. He's directed a few
movies. I don't know if he directed Dances with Wolves.
Obviously, that's his masterpiece. It won
all the Academy Awards, and it's really good.
I can't rewatch it because it's so goddamn sad.
I haven't watched it since I was a kid,
but I know how it goes. There's two moments that
make me really sad.
But then he did The Postman and Waterworld,
and, you know,
those have mixed reviews.
I love Waterworld. He financed it,
he produced it, he directed it,
and he co-wrote it.
Well, leaving nothing to chance.
It hasn't.
He set up the lighting over there.
He did everything.
He's so into wardrobe.
He's doing his co-star's makeup.
Oh, my God.
Oh, that's funny.
It has an 8.5 on IMDb.
How?
About a 30% on Rotten Tomatoes.
What's the viewer rating?
Not the pro rating.
I don't see a viewer rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
Usually that's the one I look at more.
Same. I need to go and add a bunch of stuff to our plex.
Because I would like some of these Oscar
contenders or these
movies that are coming out at Cannes.
If we can get any of those, I'd like to watch them because I keep
hearing good stuff about various
movies. I saw that, is it Zendaya
or Zendaya?
I don't know. Either works.
I saw that her tennis
movie was on Plex, the one where she's
getting Eiffel Towered
by those two white dudes.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah.
I could have guessed white when you said tennis movie.
Yeah, yeah.
She's like, they're underperforming,
so she uses her pussy to motivate them
or something like that.
But I don't think she gets nude,
but,
but,
but her scenes are already on Reddit.
You can just go to Reddit if you want to get,
get to the bottom of things as it were.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I won't be doing that in three minutes.
Yeah.
Big time.
You guys want to call it a show?
I think.
Yep.
Yep.
I think it's time.
Caleb OompaVille on YouTube.
Thank you so much for joining us. That was fun. Everyone. Caleb stuff. Watch all I think it's time. Caleb OompaVille on YouTube, thank you so much for joining us.
That was fun.
Everyone check out Caleb's stuff.
Watch all of it.
I appreciate it.
It's high quality shit.
And check out his Sour Boys candy.
All right.
Thank you.
And Travis Tritt Jr.
Absolutely, yeah.
More so check out the Tritts.
The Tritt family.
Yeah, that's true.
The Tritt family.
What's your favorite travis um i would say where
corn don't grow but it isn't his song but his his version of it i like it i always liked uh
here's a quarter call someone who cares that's a good one yeah all right that's good pka 701