Painkiller Already - PKA 702: The First Felon President, Human Zoos Were Real, George Washington Carver Exposed
Episode Date: June 1, 2024...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
P.K.A. 702.
We've had two guests.
Quickly, last minute, unable to make it.
Well, to be fair, one of them's a drug addict,
and we didn't expect him to be, you know, awake.
Well, awake. He's always awake, but, you know, functional.
Our second guest was going to be a meth head,
but he has a colonoscopy tomorrow,
so he'll be on the toilet cleaning out his system.
And I just didn't see, like, preventative medical care being the reason that a meth head would miss the show.
I would love it.
We can't let that one slip past the goal.
We have to get the meth head on.
The audience demands it.
I demand it.
It's his fourth colonoscopy this year.
This episode is brought to you by Lock and Load and Blue Chew. A couple of wonderful, wonderful sponsors.
That would be a funny guy
who is addicted to meth,
alcoholic, eats pizza every
day, and he only keeps up
with his colonoscopies.
That's it. Never goes
to the dentist. Never gets his hair cut.
He's got a punch card. Eighth one's
free. Eighth one's free.
Free fentanyl.
What do they give you?
Propofol?
I can never remember the free.
I don't know why you think we know those drugs.
Because you always tell me what it is.
We've done this before.
We just want you to stop talking.
Actually, Kyle.
I don't know any of those drugs.
Have you scheduled your first one yet?
That's like years from now.
No, I haven't scheduled.
Like 40, 45, 50? Yeah, so years from now. No, I haven't scheduled. Like 40, 45, 50?
Yeah, so years from now.
Years from now, two years from now.
I mean, I'm only five years younger than you,
and so I can already put myself in the 38, 39-year-old shoes
where I'm going to procrastinate the hell out of my colonoscopy.
It seems really unpleasant.
I don't know.
I've never had one before.
It sounds unpleasant, but it also sounds like a necessary evil, as they say.
You know the dread in the dentist chair,
knowing you're going to have to keep your mouth open
to get your teeth fucked with?
The whole night before the colonoscopy,
you can't even distract yourself with food.
Yeah, you've had one. You're not even supposed to.
Yeah.
What do you've had when you don't even drink water, right?
So they give you something to drink.
It's more fluid than you want to drink.
I don't know if it's an entire two liters or something, but you have to kind of muscle it down.
It doesn't taste good.
Then it makes you poop.
And my dumb ass was like, well, how effectively can it make you poop?
I mean, I know they want
me to poop, but we'll see how this
goes. Oh my
gosh. They have you Vaseline
your anus because
what's coming is going to be
rough. I'm like,
all right.
Friction burns. It's not
gay. I can touch my own anus. It's cool,
right? That's totally straight
you gotta take care of your first time dude do not skimp on the vaseline that's an important
part of this procedure you're going to poop like you've never pooped before it starts off just as
you know like a hershey's quartz type thing with the volume and a and a pressure that you didn't
know you had and uh then you just start like shooting blanks like oh my god i gotta go
well i mean it was like
an eyedropper what am I doing here
it's just like the liquid itself coming out
yeah it is awful it's the
pre-night prep that is the challenge some people
say it's the taste of it but not me
to me it was being tethered to the
toilet rushing over there like
you're gonna puke but poop
and like you're gonna puke
coming up with just shooting blanks like you're gonna puke but poop and like you're gonna puke coming up with just shooting blanks
like you are empty empty and i'm like you're you do colonoscopies for a living do i have to be
this empty can we have a gentleman's agreement that there'll be something left in there but i
guess yeah damn so it's like you probably feel like really good afterward though right
not after the colonoscopy itself after all the pooping no i didn't no i i you know at this point i'm like up later than i want to be with kind of
the knowledge that i have to get up early in the morning i hate being up at like 2 a.m
knowing that my alarm is set for 6 a.m like so i'm dreading it even before the the bad part happens
and um the colonoscopy itself is nothing you You go in there. They're all professionals.
They're not like, they make you comfortable being bottomless.
And then they give me a drug to put me under.
I guess not everyone goes completely under.
Wings said he got his colonoscopy without being under, but I don't know.
Why would he get one?
Yeah, he's your age.
I haven't verified the story or anything, but he did say he did it and that he wasn't put under,
so I don't know.
And I Googled that because I thought it was insane,
but apparently some people do it that way.
But you go under, which is a glorious thing.
I love the pre-surgery drugs, if you call it a surgery.
And then I woke up not even knowing there had been a camera in my butt
for an hour.
But one thing I didn't like, I'm not a farter everybody is right every mammal is but you could know me for a decade and just
think i don't do that right like like i don't i don't let them rip i don't i don't i don't fart
in front of my wife um like not that it's not that i've never made it i let one slip but that
there's a little boundary a little border border there, a little mystery still left.
But then you're on the recovery team.
I agree, by the way.
Different bathrooms, no farting.
Yeah.
You people who fart and piss in front of you.
Okay.
All that shit.
You people are gross.
You're disgusting.
I think we're in the minority.
You don't have real interpersonal skills.
Do we all agree on something?
That's wonderful.
Of course.
Taylor, you're that guy also? It's just, regardless of how long you've known someone,
it's rude to fart and make other people smell your farts.
It's rude.
Just hold it or go to bed.
I don't want you to hear it.
I don't want you to know I did it.
When I piss, I turn the sink on.
I tell her to do the same.
I'm like, I don't want to hear piss.
You don't need to hear the thing.
That doesn't happen to me.
I don't care.
That's my objective. I'm like, I don't want to hear piss. That doesn't happen to me. I don't care.
But post-colonoscopy,
you're on a table laying on your side.
My wife is there along with like three nurses all telling me to pass gas audibly
so that they know what happened before they release me.
This is like, to me, that is one of the worst parts.
Can everybody sing or something?
They want to be like
alright that was pretty good
I think you can rip a better one before we let
you go. And I'm like
for real? What if you did
a little squeaker like
and you hear the nurses laughing at you in the
hallway?
You had one of those little fart machines
and you just kept this session going
for hours
you're just in there like i don't know it just keeps
i don't know it's like he doesn't think we can see the tamagotchi in his hand
bright individual i know yeah i didn't like farting in front of everyone to prove my health
that's fair that should be an honor system by the, it's not stinky farts. They've loaded you
with air. It doesn't go through your digestion.
It came in the bottom and out the same
hole. Dude, if I had to take that water
thing and I was shitting out years worth
of shit, you'd be able to look at it like a
sedimentary, like a paleontologist
and be like, oh yes, the great charcuterie
war of 18.
I don't think a morsel of fiber passed his lips for six eight months
how the legend goes and that's why he's in here at 33
yeah well i don't i can't wait to not to not do that and to lie to loved ones that i did get it
done oh yeah there's i i see um uh what's the opposite of compliment contradicting i'm going
for studies on whether or not colonoscopies are actually useful so i cherry pick my studies and
present to jackie that i don't need to do it and uh i guess there's another way to do it like a
blood test that i'm more happy to go with oh blood test it is that's way better yeah yeah yeah um but i can look in your ear here we can
crack your skull open what do you want just look at my ear crack it open doc leave nothing
you're not going to be able to drive yourself home or ever again
i'm gonna need you to look at my duck but my butt doc because this is masturbation material for later
yeah the Trump trial finally
ended today guilty on all
accounts although I'm sure
there will be an appeal and then another
appeal and then we'll go to the Supreme Court
and we'll overturn it and then he'll be president
by then and he'll just expunge all of it
anyway right when you heard about
Trump being a 34-time felon, did it make you feel like a beta?
Like a less of a felon?
Was it only 34?
Yeah, I think so.
I thought there were like 70 counts.
To get to that, it's like 89 or 91.
You have to add all his trials together.
This one was only 34 of them.
You know, if you're trying to make it look like you're not weaponizing the criminal justice system,
or at the very least, if you're trying to make it look like we're all not conspiring to pile on at once right before an election,
they have failed.
They have failed.
The other thing that's working against Trump
is he's guilty.
We have his signature, along with
Cohen's and Weisenberg's, on
the payment schedules. We have his
audio recording where he's like, yeah,
we're going to pay off this whore I slept with.
I'm paraphrasing.
Can we push it till after the election
where it won't matter anymore?
No, I'm not trying to influence the election. This is all about Melania's feelings.
But can we stiffer?
And then if she comes free, we don't give a fuck.
He's
guilty on all 34 counts.
And that's working against him in these things.
Did the other trials. He was guilty
too. Think about lying about
the size of the properties, space,
the comps.
Again, the timing.'s uh after 70 years of
this man probably doing the same shit oh it's real important that we have five three four five trials
this year while he's campaigning and leading in the presidential election the timing argument
doesn't hold up to me anymore because he's been delayed, delayed, delayed. We tried to do this shit years ago.
Like I've been hearing, oh, the timing is pretty suspicious for like 27 months now or something wild like that.
You know, he picked the timing.
That's all.
He chose to push it off to the year of the election.
He chose to be in court and all that.
And like now by delay, he could have had these trials a long time ago, but he files frivolous motions.
He tries to ask things to get delayed.
He's the one pushing all this.
His objective was to make it after the election,
but this one didn't get that far.
All of this has happened in the
lead up after him announcing
I'm running again. That's what Kyle
means by...
That's actually incorrect.
They were doing this before he let up he
announced extra early hoping that this would get the trials to not happen but they ought to already
started yeah it still looks suspicious if you look at it through a lens like that then you'll
find suspicion but it's been happening for years now this shit moves slowly and it moves double
slowly when you try to delay
it, which Trump has indisputably tried to delay it as much as he can. To me and seemingly Kyle,
I won't speak for him. It seems like weaponizing the judicial system to punish a presidential
political opponent leading up to an election and throwing everything in the kitchen sink at him to
try and get something. Who knows if this is going to change, increase or decrease his popularity?
No one who was going to vote for him before isn't now not going to vote for him.
I also don't know if this is going to influence people who weren't going to vote for him before to vote for him.
Well, I know one person who can't vote for him anymore.
You're wrong. He can still vote.
Can he? How does that work?
wrong he can still vote can he how does that work because in florida where he's from they defer to the place where um they defer to the place where the felony happened and in new york they let
felons vote so he'll be able to vote in florida because new york lets felons of course they do
yeah well i i didn't know that let you you need to move to new york
fucking neopal and cocksuckers.
Bunch of fucking bigwig intellectuals up there.
Yeah.
Poor Donald.
Poor Donald.
I hope he's okay tonight.
I hope he's with his loved ones and his family.
I bet he's having a bad night.
I bet it looks like a Coca-Cola commercial from the 1930s.
They're all gathered around the fire.
He's sitting in his big armchair.
Little children gathered around on fire. He's sitting in his big armchair. Little children
gathered around on the floor
by his feet. Little Donald
Jr. and Eric and
Tiffany and
what's the hot one called?
Ivana? Ivanka.
Ivana. Ivanka?
Ivanka. Probably with a K.
Jared Kushner's over there
on the phone with Israel.
Perfect opportunity.
When you said the hot one, I should have said Eric.
The actual hot one's barren.
I can imagine Trump being like, this is a terrible time.
I need my family around.
Eric, just the other room.
It's fine.
It's a daughter that we can't even name.
Unless one of you can name who's the
ugly daughter tiffany oh kyle kate yeah you're right it is tiffany she's the one who i think
she's just not ivanka you know what she might even be pretty i'm looking at her from her awkward
stage eight years ago yeah it's fun i saw trump talking about her looks and he's like she's got
great legs we don't know if she's gonna have have these or not, but she's a good looking
little girl. She's like eight or some
shit.
Is this Ivanka we're talking about?
No, it's Tiffany.
This is like a, you know, he loves
doing media. So it was probably like Inside
Edition, one of those rag TV
shows from like however
long that would have been 15 years ago
or some shit. remember i saw that
one of the apprentice producers whose nda is apparently up claims that they've got trump on
tape saying the n-word they always say that i'm waiting to hear it so i need to see the numbers
because we heard that eight years ago and a little bit four years ago and now it's coming right after
the golden oldie is coming back again so what he said was this. They were talking about who was
going to win The Apprentice.
It's something very close
to, but do you really think
America is going to buy it? Do you think they think
that a ninja can win?
How close did I come?
Pretty close. He was like, you think
anybody's going to buy that? A ninja winning?
Get back.
It was something on those lines.
I bet when you hear it,
black people are like, ah, that's cool.
He meant it the other way.
You think that?
Black people know. When black people
hear you say the N-word, they can tell
if there's hate in your heart.
No, no. Black people do not like Donald Trump.
They give you pats on the back i assume that's what they were yeah
i spend all my time on facebook now and i get to see all the real photos of
donald trump i saw him at a barbecue with a bunch of black guys
everyone's so happy so happy they grew extra fingers and stuff like everyone's
having a great fucking time they got squiggly eyes they're eating
they're eating square meats uh dude it's so funny seeing the ai pictures
that that like so many boomers and like politicians fall for like it'll be like a real like congress
person from new jersey and they'll be like look it's hunter biden partying in ukraine and it's
like and it's like you don't even have to look at the hands like there's like women with
multiple arms like that don't make sense coming out other people when i was in college actual
boomers not me who's called a boomer but like actual boomers were like you could not use the
internet as a source on your papers you know the internet is unreliable none of that stuff is good
etc now those same fucking boomers believe people with nine fingers are supporting their favorite political candidates.
Yeah.
Dude, do you remember, like, maybe, Kyle, you're at the same age-ish.
Do you remember being told, like, don't even buy stuff on the internet?
Don't even use a credit card online to purchase things because it'll get stolen by like a chinese
hacker and then within like a decade all those same like literal boomers are like yeah well a
guy with an indian accent named scott stevenson called me and told me my amazon account had a
problem i gave him the title to my home and so frustrating to deal with that
i i've so i know boomers who've struggled with it i um um like girlfriends grandparents and shit
like i knew this one lady um i think the scam was this they called her on the phone pretending to be
her like her grandson um and then like pretending to be her grandson's lawyer.
Because he's in jail.
Yeah, he's on drugs.
$10,000 to get him out or something.
And they literally drove to her house and told her to put the money in the mailbox for the lawyer.
And she put $10,000 of cash in her mailbox.
And a dude drove by and took it and left.
And she's like, do you think you could track them down?
And it's like, no, no.
Not if we sicked the dog, got the dogs out,
the hounds, fucking Sherlock Holmes, the A-team.
And Captain America could not find that man
who drove by your house earlier and took your money.
Like, it was just gone, gone.
You've got to feel bad for him a bit
it's a different world but then i also think about other boomers and it's like no one like my
grandparents would never get got by that scam you know like so then i'll be like well i guess maybe
it's just like really dumb boomers we're falling well i guess you going to have to stay in jail. Sorry. Sorry, Taylor.
No, no.
Every man's got to pull his own weight in this world.
What's that, Taylor?
You're in a Honduran prison?
Well, you got to serve your time.
Do you remember your Spanish?
No.
When we cared for my mother-in-law on her last day, she stayed with us when
she had cancer, like her last
year or two.
She wanted to give to every charity
that asked for money from her
like it was a bill.
Like, oh, it says here that
I don't know, American Health Fund
needs $300.
All right, Neil, where's my checkbook?
And it's like, no, no, no, that's not a bill.
But I felt like, am I operating with a pure motive?
Would she have done this three years ago back when she was, you know, more peak mental fitness?
Or am I just like protecting the inheritance by making her less charitable?
No, you were doing the right
thing protecting her from predatory male 100 so i think i think making her less charitable is fine
as well because like she's dying um and and like like just look if the goal is for her to feel good
about doing a charitable thing and sort of score some points for the man upstairs maybe even a little
like i'm being good like just let her think you're being good and pocket
the money, right?
You know, there's a lot of
charities out there that only take cash.
But I'm running over to them.
That's what I should have done.
St. Peter would be up there looking at her motives.
I don't think he would get up there and
be like, we looked at
the financial data, ma'am,
and you're going to be spending a little more time in purgatory.
Yeah, you're saving her a lot of money.
You'll never get your wings because that's how heaven works.
No one does.
No one does as we've gone through before.
I feel like you haven't seen It's a Wonderful Life.
I have seen it.
It's a documentary on how angels get their wings.
Is that the...
Oh, boy, I've got this awful voice, apparently.
Like, it's that guy.
Is that where that old-timey voice comes from?
Where he just kind of sounds like this and it warbles a little bit, doesn't it?
That's it.
Is that a variation of the transatlantic accent?
No, that was just how Jimmy Stewart sounded.
Isn't that his name oh people
don't realize that i'm always having a series of strokes
all these damn actors and they smell like toast well anyway on the trump thing just to put a
period on the end of that sentence there's two dates in june one is when he has to appeal and
one is when the prosecutor replies to his appeal request
or something like that and then in july is sentencing which i'm seeing people predict
probation so that that's how i think yes until they do a new like round of polls how often is
that like every month they do oh there's new polls every day but like a better question would be how
long until the current polls adequately incorporate
this news and i would say you know 10 days 14 days okay that'll be interesting to see yeah
i don't think it'll matter you think it'll matter i think that shit going on overseas is going to
be more impactful than trump being found guilty for something that the average person doesn't
even understand uh i don't think anybody cares.
I think that most of the people are going to just see it
and go, ah, still going after him, huh?
Or, good, get him.
What's it for again?
Who cares?
Get him.
I think you're onto something for a slightly different reason.
America's so divided and set in their position.
When Ross Perot ran and got 24%, something like that, slightly different reason like america's so divided and set in their position you know when
ross perot ran and got 24 something like that people were more open like the swing vote was a
big was a third of the voting base now it feels like the people who are deciding which direction
they go every election i'm gonna make it up but it's like 5%, not 35%. So how much of that five switches?
Heck if I know.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think Trump is such a polarizing candidate.
It's a little bit different.
I think he had a more moderate conservative.
I'm struggling to name one right now.
Maybe Paul Ryan.
I don't know Paul Ryan's politics, but maybe just good looking white man.
And he's more soft spoken and he isn't so hard edged and he doesn't have any negatives.
That guy's can probably pull a lot more from the left or the center, but he certainly wouldn't have that die hard flag waving hardcore fan base.
No one would be turning out for huge rallies for Paul Ryan or turning out to vote.
Like, I feel like trump has inspired
what was traditionally an unreliable voter base like you know that you can picture the
overweight guy with the goatee the red hat and the mirrored oil stained sunglasses and the anger
uh that guy didn't go to the polls very frequently prior to Trump. Now that guy is passionate about voting. He was fishing.
Yeah.
He can't afford his new
bass boat because Biden's giving
all of his money to Russia.
It's true.
It's true.
He's just always giving Russia money.
He is. Those Eastern Europeans,
they're all
Greek to me. They're all Russians to me.
You know what Slav, where that word comes from, right?
Slav?
No.
Slave.
Slave.
They were one.
You got the cart before the horse, right?
Doesn't slave come from Slav?
Ooh.
Probably.
I don't really question Taylor's's word stuff yeah for the next time
which which came first the the the the chicken or the egg yeah let's have a long discussion
slavic people um i saw that that you can't say that now we with our awesome polish guy
in our in our he didn't look Slavic, though.
He's Slavic.
That dude was clearly Germanic ancestry.
Did you see his proud brow?
Come on.
Did you see his proud brow, I guess?
Yeah.
And he looked fit, the way I imagined a Polish.
I renamed him.
He had a ridiculous name.
I picture Polish people, French people, and Italian people not being fat.
Whereas I picture the United Kingdom probably being the fat of Europe,
which still makes them marathon runners compared to us.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
I wouldn't be surprised if the UK is fatter than us.
There's no way.
There's no way.
We're not as fat as we used to be.
We're getting all these spry brown people flooding in.
From Mexico?
Yeah.
Mexico's the fittest country. You have to understand, Taylor.
That's the Biden take on it, Woody, from Mexico.
Yeah, Taylor, the Mexicans we're getting have just walked a thousand miles.
They're thin and they're fit.
They're not sending their thinnest.
They're sending big fat retards.
They're sending fucking black people from coastal regions who are fucking
spry that whenever they go to the border and they start interviewing the actual migrants
and seeing where they're from it's so rarely mexico the mexicans are already here all the
mexicans that wanted to come like came already it's it's places way further south or just europe
africa or the middle east actually that's a good
point i'm looking at this graph here that would make obesity observatory and africa is thin can
you make it bigger zach please actually as with all these graphs africa just has nobody collecting
the data so that's probably what it actually i love that we don't even i wouldn't believe
anything you told me if you said they were all like giant fat people built like Buddha sitting on
thrones,
I'd be like,
yes,
that ties in with my expectation.
If you told me they were rail thin starving with bugs on their eyeballs,
I'd be like,
yeah,
I've seen that too.
I've seen that.
I've seen the sad videos that somehow just inexplicably make it in between two
weird shows and adult swim
it's like what is this doing going what's going on here okay so we're not actually number one
but there's a caveat here it's it's because like the top nine are all tiny little samoan nations
like all they're it's all the samoas so if we if we put them out pull them out of the out of the
the count the united states is 10 and then qatar but what are we ranking this is the
obese by country and it is the global obesity observatory and they're very easy to observe
let's see there yeah there's see. The observatory.
The observatory.
Just one weirdo.
It's just assholes with a megaphone yelling at people.
And whale watchers rolls off the tongue so much better.
You know, I don't know if this is reliable
because it goes against some of my preconceived notions.
And so, Croatia?
Croatia's fat?
Say it ain't so.
I figured they'd be fit.
Poland, they're fatter than Canada.
Libya is fatter than the United Kingdom.
Yeah, they need to, I don't know.
Who's funding this, hmm?
Let's see, who's at the bottom?
George Soros, no doubt.
This is funded undoubtedly by big Ethiopia
because they're down there at 200
with purportedly 1.1%
of their country being fat.
That makes sense.
They're very hungry there.
Vietnam, very thin country.
I buy that.
India, only 5% of them are big fat people.
Ethiopia, holding it down as the skinniest country.
Who saw that coming?
I didn't. I figured it was somewhere in that that corner you would think mogadishu honestly because they have
like famines there yeah well that's just uh mogadishu is just the capital of somalia right
oh it's got to be the palestinians they're the skinniest people in the world i saw a kid today
that had starved to death in pal, and he was so thin, Taylor.
Dude, Twitter is just like,
hey, we noticed that you've been liking hockey highlights.
Here's a dead child.
It's like, oh, this is a lot of dead kids.
That kid shouldn't have voted for Hamas.
You get what you're doing?
It's what he had coming for him.
Well, I mean, yeah, a little bit, you know,
like it's not about getting him.
It's about winning the war though.
I'm full on board with just winning the war.
I don't want to, that's,
the United States has done this pussyfooting around for my entire lifetime with these little wars we got in
and we didn't win any of them really.
And Israel's like going to win a war.
By the time this is over.
The question will be,
do you think Israel won the war?
Oh yeah.
Like no one questions that.
Usually in a war,
there's two armies.
Sometimes.
I mean,
they're still killing the army,
man.
They,
and when they blew up that tent the other day,
there was two leaders of Hamas.
Sometimes two,
even upwards of 5 percent of the deaths
are military people on the most charitable that's high i mean it depends how you calculate military
people when we when we bombed tokyo it was like oh there's workshops sort of mixed in with all
the people you know they didn't have that centralized shining example of america being
assholes it's not the benchmark to hold people to. Being assholes?
You don't think so?
I was really going for Hiroshima when I said
that. Why do you say that?
There were more people killed
in the Tokyo bombing raids than in Hiroshima
or Nagasaki. They burned them alive.
You talk about
indiscriminately killing anyone who's
in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Hiroshima is a good example.
Yeah, but what they did in Tokyo is worse than indiscriminately.
They planned for weeks waiting on the weather patterns to be just right
to create a firestorm, and they dropped the incendiaries
in such a way to create a giant firestorm and burn a huge percentage of Tokyo.
What did they do?
They either took something out of the bombers so they could add
more bombs. We could add
800 more pounds of napalm if you do this.
I'm aware of your argument
and I acknowledge the strength of it.
Intellectually, I'll even
concede, but something emotionally
about dropping a nuclear bomb
on a city feels
just an extra layer of indiscriminate
for me, again, again emotionally the calculations were we
were going to lose a million uh u.s servicemen uh on the the invasion of uh the main japanese island
and the russians were coming from the north as well eventually so if we didn't end that war
then you were going to end up with south japan and north japan and north japan was going to end up with South Japan and North Japan, and North Japan was going to be communist.
That's what really happened, and you'd lost a million Americans.
So I always celebrate when I see that.
There's this cartoon where they show the kids eyeballs turning into liquid in slow motion and stuff, and I'm like, yeah.
We all celebrate that, yeah.
You should have surrendered weeks ago.
What cartoon is he watching?
It's this Japanese cartoon about the nuclear bombings.
Oh, okay.
It's more of an anime.
You know our normal cartoons, Taylor.
America was going hard in the paint with their propaganda,
if that's the cartoons they were making at the time.
Look what we're doing to the Japs.
And also, their military industrial base was intermixed with...
It's not like they had this big factory over here and like,
Oh yeah,
that's the fucking Mitsubishi factory.
That's where all the bombers come from.
And it's all in the outskirts of the city and it's big square building.
They had all these workshops like mixed into the every,
there weren't districts as much as everything was just sort of mixed
together.
So there was be a house here and next to it,
there'd be a shop that was making wheels for airplanes.
And then next to that, there'd be another house here and next to it there would be a shop that was making wheels for airplanes. And then next to that there would be another
house. And then checker patterned everywhere.
So they just burned it all. To your point,
some stuff has a lot of purposes. I watched
the
airplane show. I can't remember the name
of ever. The way we were? I don't
know. Did he put it out shortly ago?
Anyway, they were doing
bombs and they're going after ball bearing
factories. And they said, you know
what? The war runs on ball bearings.
Yeah, so do bicycles and
strollers, but I can still
acknowledge how you'd call it a military target.
In the Japanese, we're going to fight.
The scariest thing to live next to if
it's getting blown up, a ball bearing
factory?
It's just a
whole factory claymore. Yes. I didn't think of that is that is a problem
and the japanese were going to fight man well just another horrible day at the ball bearing factory
oh no
make that whistle sound?
Is that a real thing?
Yeah, we talked about this.
They put whistles on the bombs to scare people.
Probably not like a nuclear bomb.
I can't remember that.
I imagine that is...
I imagine the whistle was being for small bombs.
That one blew up at altitude anyway,
so they wouldn't have heard it coming in.
Did Japan hold a grudge for that long at all?
I bet they did,
but I feel like they got Tokyo firebombed
and they took three days off and they took like three days
off and they're like well that's a rebuild yeah yeah they got right to rebuilding it it's crazy
um then america came in with the plan on how to rebuild their economy and they're like yeah we
trust you you're pretty good at economics they're like oh yeah you guys are the ones with the bombs
you just well they kind of followed it they tried to they almost went communist i think
in the 60s there was a there was a big movement and that's when you've got that you've probably
seen the video but maybe not known the whole context of when there's a japanese man speaking
on stage and some dude runs at him with a i don't know what the word it's called like a waza kishi
or something it's the short sword that they carry, you know, the samurai carry two
swords. The little one. He runs
on stage with the little one and kills
the fucking communist speaker on
stage live on Japanese television.
Everybody was watching and that
kind of put an end to the
Japanese communist party.
It's like an iconic picture. The
commie politician is like,
oh, don't stab me. and then the other guy's like
i'm gonna stab you well i came here for one purpose it was to stab your pinko ass
pretty much yeah um so no i i'm okay with what whatever is there's got to do to win the job
um and and win the war but you know it's what they need to do tense with whatever Israel's got to do to win the job and win the war.
It's what they need to do.
That's where the bad guys are.
We bomb tents. We bomb caves.
We bomb goat herders.
We send trillion dollar battle groups. This is worse than the wedding we bombed.
I've heard you guys both disapprove of that.
This isn't worse than that.
This is different than that. Big time.
The wedding, it was like,
we think there's a terrorist. They like tripled up
the number of innocent deaths
compared to that wedding.
I don't see how you can dislike the wedding part and not
see. It's pretty
similar. Oh, I don't see it parallel.
There's a war zone over there.
We were like, hey, there's a wedding
tomorrow. This was the place where
the resettled people
had to put up camps
because they're homeless now.
Why would their military generals
be there in that camp?
They shouldn't be putting
people in that kind of danger. Don't they know we're going to blow them up?
Is that how you parse?
Are there military generals
in that camp?
Yeah.
They called them senior Hamas members.
Senior Hamas members.
Yeah.
I mean, sure.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, heck, if Israel said there were some senior Hamas leaders mixed into the refugee camp, then I'm sure it's true.
That's what they said last time they blew it up, too.
They never say, say ah we missed they're like they're like wow we were hoping there wouldn't
be so many people in them yeah a lot of war is pr and especially on a global stage and so like any
sort of bomb you drop you have to you know if there's that's counterproductive though it shouldn't
be that way that's not what war is i think we've forgotten what war is i mean i don't know what
war is but i've watched enough tv and read enough books to know what war
was. The wars that got fought for all of human history, as long as we've been a thing. And you
don't Nancy pants around and civilians die and women die and children get blown up and eaten.
Like it's war. That's why you try to avoid war at all costs. Cause when war happens,
children get eaten. Like we're going to burn you alive. We're coming for you with a machine that burns you alive. You really want to do it?
Are you sure? You do. We're coming. And now you're burning alive. You're like, oh,
they're burning alive. We've got to stop. Why? They'll just regroup. We'll have to burn more
of them alive. Burn them alive. Get it over with. Just get it over with. It's a Band-Aid situation.
We shouldn't be building a $400 million dock
that broke apart in three weeks
or something like that. It was a temporary dock.
Three weeks is what the plan was.
An unbelievably temporary dock.
It's so temporary
before it was even finished.
Did you see our estimates on how much of our
aid was stolen?
No.
For an aid being pilfered and stolen?
That can't be true. Our estimate was 90% of it was stolen no it's a huge foreign aid being pilfered and stolen that can't be true our estimate
was 90 of it was stolen of of the stuff they chipped along this is three hundred palestine
i assume israel yeah okay and and i'm wondering who stole it because when i picture when i when
i imagine palestine the news just shows me it's just rubble and starving kids yeah but there's
got to be some dudes in
there with guns and shit like holding it down there's hostages still there there's there's an
apparatus there they they shot rockets at israel last week nobody cares like you know they shot a
bunch of rockets into central israel last week i i just think they should win the war i'm tired of
us funding the war but i don't want to drag it on for eight years nancy footing around
or whatever you want to call it just do it do it i mean they are doing i don't have a better answer
that's my problem you know what i want i want peace i want a two-state solution where they all
chillax and stop hurting each other yeah okay we've been talking about that since long before
i was born and that was a long time ago so so my vision hill dog was talking
about this the other day and made more sense than i've ever heard her making her whole fucking life
because trust me she's on my side on this issue she was like i believe she was talking about when
clinton her clinton had like yasser arafat and everybody at the table and she listed what they
she was like they got this much of their land back israel was going to give up this much of their land it was going to be like ran by this
overlooked by that security guaranteed money from here and she like lays out this incredible plan
where it's like oh the palestinians won in the 90s and i never heard about it she's like and
they said no they refused they refused and that was was one of the crowning like efforts of Bill Clinton.
And I've talked many times before about how some leaders, president, corporation, whatever, are like the smartest guys in the room.
They come with all the answers and sort of are detail oriented.
And they make the organization doesn't function well without them, but it functions well with them.
And then other people who can be equally effective just delegate delegate put you all right you're
my guy for this you're in charge of middle administrators bill clinton was a doer and
dude he would roll out the maps on the table and street by street decide which one should go to who
and how it should be managed bill clinton was like a wonk involved in the details of that plan.
And it just never got put into action.
Can you imagine if we had nothing to do with this Middle Eastern ethnic
conflict?
Can you just imagine?
Oh,
but Taylor,
those poor Israelis could never defend themselves.
They're helpless.
They haven't had the most devastating army in the area for 50 or more years?
Certainly not. They haven't been the only people with nukes for two generations.
They've been under the thumb of those rock throwers for 80 years now, trying to stop the oppression.
What was it called? Is it the Six Days War or whatever, when five Arab nations invaded them with tanks by land and the Israelis defended themselves?
I think the Six Day War was
Egypt and Israel, right?
In addition to Egypt, though, there were
multiple Arab nations.
The
something heights is where they had
that great tank. The Golan Heights.
There you go.
The Israeli tanks were on...
They had the high ground.
To Kyle's point, primarily egypt syria and jordan
okay three powerhouses i mean again i've heard of egypt no i've heard of egypt
you know what i've heard egypt is in their heyday right now
that would suck to be born in a country and be like, I mean, we can look back and be like, you know,
America's like, we were at our peak, like right after World War II.
Nobody could fucking touch us in anything.
Like, imagine being Egyptian right now,
and it'd be like, oh, you know, don't come at me 7,000 years ago.
You don't even know.
You know, before the Romans,
with their newfangled
technologies bullied us and all that?
We were a big deal.
Library of Alexandria?
I heard the whole idea of
so much knowledge being lost at the Library
of Alexandria is nonsense.
It'd be really sad for it to be true.
So it's easier.
They're always finding that
various pieces of geometry and stuff were discovered way before.
It was always find interesting that they'll find some uniform tab,
tablet or something that,
that indicates they,
they had some knowledge of geometry or,
or,
or astronomy too.
When,
when you look at the,
those really old civilizations and they've got all that stuff built for
astronomical or astronomy purposes
to predict the eclipses
and stuff. I still don't know how they're doing that.
I don't know how you look at the stars
and predict when the next eclipse is going to be.
Oh, I have no idea.
I'm completely reliant on smarter people for this
task. But those dirty fucking
proto-Mexicans
with their flat pyramids
figured it out.
Proto-Mexicans. their flat pyramids figured it out. Proto-Mexicans.
Do you think
the Aztecs would have been embarrassed
if they
saw the Egyptian pyramid at the same time
concurrently?
You know they were high
on their own supply for how cool their pyramid was.
When the sun sets, you can see a snake.
You cannot see the sun behind my pyramid.
Yes.
My pyramid blocks out the sun.
It is made to the sun.
Were there many Aztec pyramids?
I know there were some,
probably multiple.
I don't remember if it was Aztec or Inca or Maya or what,
but it was like those step pyramids.
Ziggurats?
Yeah, kind of like a ziggurat,
except not nearly as big as the G step pyramids. Ziggurats? Yeah, kind of like a ziggurat, yep, except not nearly as big as like the Giza pyramids.
I always say, what I said is a thing that like,
one of the unique things about them,
when the wind blows, they make a certain noise.
Like when the wind blows past the thing, it makes a noise.
There's the other one where you clap,
and it like reverts the clap back.
And then when the sun sets on one of the equinoxes you see
like an animal shadow like walk up the building or something on one of them so they did a lot of
stuff like that but i think that pales in comparison when you look at the the giza yeah uh
pyramid that gigantic fairness they're both i don't think cool you know like they always say
those are burial tombs or whatever i I don't even know what the fuck
they are. I don't think
they found people in the Great Pyramid.
I don't think there was a mummy in there.
Didn't they find Tut
in a pyramid?
I don't know. It was in a tomb, Taylor.
It was in a tomb underground, I thought.
I don't think
there was a mummy or a king
buried in the Great Pyramid at Giza. I don't think that there was a mummy or like a king buried in the great pyramid
at giza i don't i don't think they know isn't that theorized though that like they were
but i mean thousands of years of bandits and thievery like everything's been looted out of it
i don't think there's a tomb chamber though like like they don't i don't think so um is that just
like hokum nonsense where they were like oh and, and the Egyptians, when the pharaoh died, his servants would be thrown in with him, locked in the tomb so they could serve him in the afterlife.
So that happening, they would do that.
They would do that with they would like put your dog in there, your pets, like your favorite, your favorite fucking knife, like your favorite foods.
They would set the place up like there was going to be a finger snap and
everything in this room was going to be transported the afterlife like that black guy with the xbox
yeah yeah yeah exactly um but that'd be a total asshole if i was like ah my favorite thing is my
wife bury her with me yeah they do that honestly honestly she might be alive at this point she might be volunteering she might be
like yes yeah like let's go oh dude i'd be like and bury me with the entire chicago blackhawks
and then i'd you know i'd do a little bit for st louis and beyond the grave
some of these people are retired. I haven't forgotten. Patrick
Kane being dragged screaming into my
catacomb.
Did you see that
interview where they asked the, I think it was
the GM of the Chicago Blackhawks
just hockey questions?
I didn't see that, no. Oh, they had no
idea who this guy was and they're like,
do you like hockey at all? He's like, yeah, a little bit.
And they're like, name your 10 like hockey at all he's a little bit and they're like you know name your 10 favorite players and he's like nine of them were black
hawks like going back a bit and he obviously knew what he was doing it's pretty cool i think you'd
you'd like it even though you hate the team oh yeah i would enjoy content like that off to try
when gingus uh when gingus khan died they did that thing where they they killed all the guys
who buried him and then then they killed all the guys that killed them.
But how did we get this story?
Because I think someone was like,
yeah, I killed the guys that killed the guys that buried him.
I don't know shit.
And then after he said that, they killed that guy.
But the guys who heard it in the other side of the room,
they told us.
They told me.
Yeah, it seems...
I don't know about this one.
You always ask those questions, and it's like, because historians say so.
Because historians...
He's a skepticism.
He's a bit of a flat earther.
He doesn't believe it unless you saw it.
It's all...
I feel like...
No, I'm a hollow earther.
You immediately become Mac being like, have you looked at the files?
Have you combed through the documents?
I think it's a real common sense question
to ask to tell a story that's like,
do you know that Genghis Khan's burial party
was murdered by a secondary group?
And then this secondary group
was killed by a tertiary group.
And then this group themselves
were executed to ensure the secrecy was upheld
and it's like okay so who talked about it who wrote it down would they not immediately be like
oh mr historian we noticed you wrote some stuff down can we take a peek and he's like no not for
at least three thousand years they were burying it like like like medical studies. No, you can't look at this until,
you know,
the year 2000.
Well,
they never found it.
Nonetheless.
Ah,
well,
is anyone looking?
I mean,
probably not.
He's somewhere over there in Mongolia.
I would imagine,
right?
Mongolia is a pretty country.
That would be,
if I,
if I wanted to travel to asia japan
would be neat because of how many people there are and all their cool vending machines and technology
and then mongolia seems almost like untouched right to you you don't have to go to japan
find a vending machine no i do okay i have to go it to go. It's probably like seafood on the coast.
It's just better.
That's what you get.
You get fresh Japanese panties right out of the vending machine.
And then afterward, you get yourself a Sprite Zero Chill.
I struggled with the exchange rate in Japan.
I should have just put a minute into it so that I knew how much I was spending all along.
But the exchange rate is like $33,000 to $1,000 or $16,000 to 000 to 1 or 16 000 i don't know it's something you don't bump into all the time so you get your
bill for like hotel omelet and it's 66 000 yen and you're like i don't know i haven't paid 66 000
anything for a while is this even a lot i'm not sure yeah it was it was it was that's a funny like realization in
the lobby where they're like oh no sir yeah exchange rate is uh eight thousand yen to uh
one dollar and you're like oh these are some expensive eggs like
it was like 37 dollars for the buffet is that two two eggs? This is two, right? Oh, my. I remember the last time I was in a casino, I was so assaulted by the prices that when
I finally got out of there and got to the gas station down the street and bought coffee
for the morning, I was shocked that I got changed from my 20.
I was like, really?
You told me that coffee was $2.
You're crazy.
I just paid $18 for oatmeal.
You don't even know
what they do to you up the street.
Can you tell me, does Vegas do the opposite?
Because I told they are.
Lobster and steak
dinners are $7.
No.
I don't know anything about that.
If you were on some sort of fucking like being taken care of the
casino thing maybe but but the um the buffet is like and this is like years ago like eight years
ago the buffet was like 70 to 100 and it would but it's like the best buffet ever it's like all
you can eat filet mignon and lobster and And then, you know, everything that goes with that, you know, I love the buffets.
Like you can go online and look up reviews for the best buffets in Vegas or the best.
And there'll be a top 10 list of heavy hitters.
And every one of them is amazing.
And some of them are cheaper than like unlimited food good food and you're like what kind of
vacation focuses on the meals and then you do it and you're like ah now i get it yeah yeah that
cruise ship food is top notch yeah i i watch one of those travel channels where he will go to
like thailand and and he'll find the maybe the cheapest oh he did the cheapest buffet in town
and then the most expensive buffet in town and the cheapest buffet was awesome he's like you
give these people 78 cents and you get this bowl and you do whatever you want it was like outside
on a street corner but it was just so much food for 79 cents or whatever it was and then the other
one that was like a couple hundred dollars was five-star dining really fancy schmancy and cool too
shit like that if you don't speak the language or know the culture is dangerous like i i was
getting smoothies in mexico and i'm like oh that fucking red one looks dope we all know what red
icy things taste like it's delicious and filled with sugar right
no it's made with beets and it's like good for you it's awful
and i'm just getting surprised at mexican food some being great some being terrible left and right
yeah dude i'm i i was surprised that you wanted to go down to mexico out into the wilderness there
like mexico to me is one of those countries where you stay on the beaten path.
Like when Taylor went to Jamaica or when I,
when people go to Costa Rica or somewhere like that,
it's like,
yeah,
we stay at the resort that we don't go outside of it.
It's a,
you know,
it's an impoverished nation,
right?
I collect life experiences like that.
One of my highlights from that whole trip,
like it wasn't the flying.
I enjoy my time with friends and stuff, but was i was tired i was hiking it was about 8 000 feet
altitude in this part of mexico and i had just gone like two and a half three and a half hours
through the woods with my wing and all this like shit on me and i didn't have enough water i was
out of water at this point and this dude pulls up with three passengers on
his motorcycle it was his wife his son and then his infant child what the fuck and he's like you
need a ride and i'm like i feel bad like with your wife son and infant just like standing and
yeah drag me he's like they can wait so they all get off the bike and wait in the woods in a dirt road while he takes me to a place where I'll bump into like taxis and stuff.
I'm more populated.
That guy never went back.
No.
He was kidnapping those people.
Yeah.
I tipped him.
It wasn't like a tremendous.
It was like $25 or something.
That's fair.
Damn, that's a year's salary.
Dude, 25.
Like, I bet it fed his whole family that night.
That's what they were hoping for.
I can get a rotisserie chicken
here for like
$9 now.
Do you guys ever get those?
Do you ever go into a
store and buy nothing
but a rotisserie chicken?
I'll order it.
I feel like you're
outsmarting
the system because i've said before that's a lost leader product no one makes money on those
i get them delivered oh well you're already paying through the nose probably no it's it's still a
good deal like like some every now and then i'll it'll work out where they're giving some sort of
like spend 20 and get 10 off and it's wait, are you just giving me free food?
It just, but the chickens are always the way to go.
I'll take those and make soups and stuff like that.
I love those rotisserie chickens.
They're $6 at the grocery store right next to me though.
Oh damn, yours are even cheaper.
That's how you avoid that like shrinkflation
of fast food places is go and get lunch
at like a Publix deli.
And it'll be, you can get like 20 hot wings
and a big gigantic fry for eight dollars or something like that it's still cheap at the
grocery store that is interesting that like that's what so like you see so many people concerned with
that of all things like they're not even talking like their first example of inflation isn't like
hey look at the stuff at the store.
The stuff at the store is getting pretty fucking wild, especially in the meat section, which it is.
They'll be like, this meal was $4.99 in 2017 at Taco Bell.
Now it's $11.29.
And it's like, okay, like I got a real good first tip.
Don't eat at Taco Bell as like a regular occurrence.
Like that's already like fast food is like not cheaper than just buying stuff at the store.
It used to be.
It used to be like, oh, one of the reasons poor people are fat is that poor people food is cheap, but fattening.
Now McDonald's is expensive.
Yeah.
Now it's like McDonald's is so pricey.
How about you just go buy some
overpriced meat at the store?
It's going to get you more meals
than just the one at McDonald's.
The way milk
is priced at my local
store is so infuriating.
So I think
you get like a pint of milk
for like $1.60.
And I was like, okay, that seems reasonable. But then you could get a half a gallon of milk for like a dollar and 60 cents and i was like okay that seems reasonable but then you
could get a half a gallon of milk for three dollars and 20 cents and i was like oh so much more more
more milk that's it's four that's four pints but then you get a whole gallon for three dollars and
80 cents it's like i don't want a whole gallon i want it's gonna go bad but i i'm not leaving half
a gallon for 60 more cents on the table so yeah i guess i'll take a gallon but then if you want
the fancy schmancy milk if you want the grass felled fed milk then the half gallon that's got
like the pretty cow on it that looks like glass bottle yeah they fourteen dollars a gallon it's
fourteen dollars a gallon oh yeah dude the14 a gallon. Oh, yeah.
Dude, the Fancy Man milk is so expensive.
That's a little much.
The Fancy Man eggs,
they are getting bulled with the Fancy Man egg prices.
If you want the regular white jumbo eggs,
it's like two or three bucks
for a dozen of them,
probably like three or so.
If you want the brown,
hey, our selling point is that we don't actively poison chickens right beforehand like it's
slightly healthier it's like seven dollars i'm scared to ask what my milk costs i'm gonna yeah
i get the uh the the nelly's i think the eggs are called nelly's i think it's the brand there's a
brown cage free eggs but yeah they're like seven or eight bucks for a dozen.
But when I saw that a half a gallon of milk was $7 or $7.50 or something,
I was like, that's just...
This is scaring me.
We buy the fanciest of fancy milk that comes in half-gallon glass jars
and is delivered by a milkman to a cooler that they provided for us.
She read it.
I don't know.
She typed back, it costs
what it costs.
If you told me it was $18
per half gallon. I love it. She replied
back, honey, we can afford milk.
Don't worry about the milk.
You let me worry about milk.
She's not writing back.
She left you on read. She left you on read. milk don't worry about the milk she's not writing back she's not writing back
what if you're like see like a series of ellipses for like five minutes and then just disappear
there's no ellipses though nothing she's like
let's get well i called our accountant how much do you think woody's fancy milk costs per gallon? I'm going to guess it's $10 a gallon.
I'll say...
No, it's got to be...
No, I'm saying $15.
I'm saying $15.
I bet it's $7.50
per half gallon
glass jar or whatever.
I want to say...
I just heard her let the dogs out.
She's moved on to other things.
She ran for it.
She's looking at it like this fucking guy
with his
got a question lately.
She's going to be like, how much is a Honda Goldwing?
She said $4.58.
It's probably a half gallon.
That's less than I expected.
Is that by the ounce?
Because yeah, Oberweiss, which is like the glass one
we have here, the half gallons are
probably $9.
Like $8.99, $9.
Which is a lot.
You better love milk
if you're paying that. Does it come in the multiple flavors too?
Because the Sprouts near me has
like, it's either Sprouts or Whole Foods
has the glass half gallons
of strawberry chocolate,
vanilla milk,
custard, and then milk.
I bet they do have it.
I rarely buy milk.
Every time I remember
and I do get milk like twice a year,
I'm always like, oh man, I love milk.
This is great. and then i forget
about it again and i go back to sparkling fancy man water this is what we pay two dollars and
58 cents for a half gallon it's 458 but two dollars of that is the glass bottle that we
get refunded when that's crazy that's cheaper than the cheapest milk at the store. I won't fuss. All right.
Yeah.
Maybe you got grandfathered in.
That's possible.
The old milk.
You having a milkman makes me imagine one guy in his little outfit coming.
White outfit.
Got the hat. He might be that guy.
I know his truck is all milkman out.
It's not some random box truck.
It's got cows on it and shit.
Every single day, he's sitting down in his little house with his wife, his little life, all milk manned out like it's not some random box truck it's got cows on it and shit every single
day he's sitting down in his little house with his wife his little life and he's like and and
lord i pray that you help my my children off at school and that you once again bless the woodworth
household podcast or whatever he does going strong lord i can't lose my last client we like that guy he
they have um fancy pants soft pretzels soft pretzels are not a major part of my diet but
after this show every single week i have a standing order for soft pretzels to be ready
for me when i come downstairs and uh now we're on like gourmet soft pretzels that the
milkman brings us how are we 10 years into this and we just
it'll be like guys can we wrap the show up i got pretzels waiting
my pretzels are getting hard on the counter down there
spicy mustard you know that she puts upside down for me so it's ready to go.
Nobody wants a fucking stale pretzel, boys.
I got to go.
That's so funny.
That's a standing order for pretzels.
And that's a great treat.
I love a nice soft pretzel.
It beats the shit out of hard pretzels.
I want you to come over.
When you're like, I like soft pretzels, then you like I like soft pretzels then you try my fucking soft pretzels
you'll be an addict you'll be like
charcuterie boards scooch aside baby
well you know you can
fuse both
a lot of meats a lot of
bread just fuel you up for the next
day's workout man I haven't had a soft
pretzel and I
can't I genuinely can't remember the last time
it had to be like
a theme park or a not even a movie i don't think i get those at movies i don't like them yes you do
you liar they're all bread and salt bread and salt and they're hot and they're like crispy
good too yeah i like the mustard i don't have any
post uh post show rituals or anything i just try usually try to make my my brain stop hurting
and uh and and lie in a dark room with a towel on my head that would be so funny if you're like
you get the vapors after just because you're so tired from sitting here talking it's not even
tired it's just kind of like's just kind of like wired up too
because I feel like I've just been kind of focusing
for four hours to some extent or another
and I just want to not do that anymore.
I feel you.
That's why I wind down after the show
with the most stressful video game imaginable.
What game do you play?
Don't worry about it.
You haven't heard of it.
Oh, cool. i figured probably not yeah man i want to who do you even call about getting a hard pretzel
or a soft pretzel delivered to you i've been on doordash many a time and i've never seen a
pretzel place i've seen cookie places that's what do. I'll have to ask my milkman.
I'm going to have to
stop the ice cream man and
inquire about his Rolodex of
antiquated professions.
I'll just
ask my travel agent.
You're a milkman and a pretzel boy
and you treat women
for hysteria with your magic fingers.
I make wagon wheels yeah yeah i'd love a nice antiquated snack what a great job do you think that milk man no i
mean back in the day like when you could afford to like raise a family on like those jobs where
it's like you were just a regular postman or you delivered milk like can you still do that on a post office
salary you can on like a uh amazon driver fedex delivery like i think they you saw that you saw
that thing the other day it was like how much money you needed in each state to raise a family
and it was like 200 000 a year minimum or something it kind of priced out the vast majority
of single income households.
Those don't exist anymore.
There's three companies that own those.
Three companies own like 70% of the households in America or something.
Yeah, I don't like it. Oh, I've read about it.
Like the BlackRock stuff.
Well, I don't know what the bigger
bigger, you know, when you go high enough, there's
only like 12 companies on the planet
or some shit.
He's not too far off yeah it's something like that it's it's crazy um how if you just look in the um the um defense contractors because i watch a lot of um stuff about the production of old
fighter planes you know in the 70s 80s 90s and stuff like that and it's like
ah oh yeah that company why don't they make planes anymore and it's like because they're all three
companies now all of those companies became three or four companies all those plane manufacturers
um just gobbled each other up and that can't be better yeah i can't name them but a lot of the
consumer goods are like that too i know tay. It's stuck in his head in there.
Taylor, who owns Kellogg's at the top?
Do you know?
Procter & Gamble?
Procter & Gamble, yeah. Yeah, and then one company makes so many paper goods,
and you think, oh, paper.
I don't even use paper anymore.
Yeah, you do.
All your stuff comes wrapped in it, your toilet paper, your paper towels.
Everything's made of oil, too.
I hate people who are anti-oil.
I hate those fuckers who glue themselves to highways.
Have you seen that thing where they take a piece of six-inch PVC pipe
and they stick their arm in one side and they handcuff it.
Then the cuff goes through the other side to another man and he handcuffs it.
So now the chain is in a pipe so you can't just walk up and clip it.
And then they all do it.
They make a chain of these fuckers.
Oh, I wish someone would hit the one in the middle with a truck and drag them all to their dune.
Everything is made of oil.
Everything in front of you is made of oil.
Plastic is oil.
That's what we make plastic out of. It's a petroleum product. I mean, I'm looking in front of me is made of oil plastic is oil that's what we make plastic out of it's a
petroleum product i mean i'm looking in front of me and this is all or paint paint is oil all
those electronics oil is in them it's a it's a part of everything wouldn't the party you like
if like we still had that old the time where like everything came in glass now it's to the point
where like when something comes in glass i I'm like, oh, this is
I'm glad you brought up glass.
Because recycling is fake too. We don't
recycle. That fucking recycle symbol
isn't even the recycle symbol. They made
a new symbol that looks like the real one and they
stuck it on everything. We recycle
like 5-10% of things
at best. I thought glass
was better. I think you're right with plastic.
Are you wrong about glass though? i think glass they well they reuse a lot of glass i know that i don't know um
how much glass gets recycled i think aluminum is the thing that where it's cost effective to
recycle it um but i think that like everything else they just throw in a fucking landfill i
throw food and stuff in my recycling bin all the time because i noticed one day when like it was like probably a year ago that a new company
took over our waste management in my neighborhood and like i'd roll out my trash and i'd roll out
my recycling the guy drove by and calmly dumped both into the same area of the truck.
And it's like,
Oh,
okay.
So we're all,
this is just extra trash space for me.
And so now I do that.
It's pretend we pretend we recycle.
Yeah.
I Googled it and it looks like I'm wrong.
And Kyle's right.
The top result says it costs 70 to $90 to process a ton of glass.
And then it sells for about $10 a ton.
So we're, We're really not recycling
anything then. I think aluminum
but
most of the time it all goes in the garbage.
Most of it's just getting thrown in a
landfill. One nice thing about glass
is I'm not a scientist but I think
it's pretty inert. It doesn't
get into your water stream.
Sure. It's sand's it's it's sand it's
just it's just melted sand with some additives do you see that little study that has been floating
around on social media where it was like they tested like it was only like 23 25 guys or
something and all of them had yeah microplastics in their testicles think what all of them who
cares yeah well we don't know how it impacts us fully yet
but it's just another like hadn't bothered me a bit asbestos or or lead poisoning or is it
bothering you what are your balls fine i really like my balls i'm pretty all good all good hanging
low baby swing low sweet chariots let's go your balls please please my balls can handle plastic let me know what is lead in every
um it makes this more durable sure i i mean i mean great things are made of plastic i i like i said
i'm a big fan of the petroleum industry there's a little plastic in me i appreciate that i don't
care it makes me last longer microplastics to me are the new fucking like... Lead or asbestos or all those other hokum made up nonsense.
No.
No.
Okay.
Like lead and asbestos are a problem.
Lead to a lesser extent.
I'm not convinced.
Oh, is this like your actual belief?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You don't think it's a problem having microplastics in your...
Anyone who says not to eat lead just doesn't know how sweet it is.
I think a little lead is no big fucking deal,
but I think you need to be...
I really don't think it's a big deal to get a little lead,
but like spending your whole life,
especially childhood,
eating lead fucking paint chips
or being exposed to lead contaminated water because of your pipes.
Yeah.
I mean, that'll definitely retard you.
Well, what about those generations of kids
who grew up eating food almost entirely from packaging made of lead have you considered our way that's plastic
right yeah that's us we're fine yeah you think it's all good you think we're all you think we're
you think we're banging on all cylinders you know what you know the best part about plastic
it's inert it doesn't do anything i saw this fucking floozy on oh that podcast is not inert
there's it reacts with all kinds of things
and there's like a million kinds of plastic i feel like taylor's desire to bang on all cylinders is
greedy right you you can have a misfire now and then knock it off but there is a way to fix it
blue chew and we'll come back to this yeah castration your microplastic get rid of that
testicular plastic get that out of your body yeah yeah so you don't you don't think plastic in people's nuts or in their hearts or veins or
skin or whatever is a big deal i mean when you say it like that it's like oh no but i don't know what
it what that causes to happen like like what's the i don't know what the downside is. I'm not a doctor.
I would say I wouldn't want anything in my body,
but then you got those little mites
right on your eyelid and your eyelashes
living right there, those little arachnids
moving around right next to your eyeball.
They're not bothering anybody.
Because you can't see them, just like the microplastics.
Not Kyle. Taylor, what would you want
your water bottle to be made of?
Probably glass.
Yeah.
Glass or...
It has durability problems.
Yeah, that's true.
I have a metal one.
You wrap it in leather.
That I like.
But then wrapped, like have a skin.
They make those.
You can get those.
You have glass wrapped in leather to protect it.
I think that metal is...
The only big water bottle I have is made of metal.
It's the same one you have, Kyle.
I don't remember the brand.
It was the off-brand of...
The tumbler?
There's some brand.
It's like spending $60 on a Stanley
or $12 on this thing.
Who am I trying to impress?
I'm not an ice mover.
I'll hold water. Microplastics
in water bottles create estrogen,
which I think is the scientific term
for cooties.
It'll make you gay.
I think there's lots of
things caused by this. I'm just not worried about any of that.
I just don't care. If I get cancer,
I get cancer.
What are you going to do? Not live your life?
I've had cancer before. It's a bitch.
Multiple times. I mean, I'm just not afraid of...
Dude, you guys can't bully
basal cell carcinoma
because fucking pancreatic's
going to hear about it, and he's going to be like,
these guys think I'm a bitch?
Knuckle crack.
Pancreatic can suck my dick.
It's just going to be in the
tomb with all the other cancers I've
beaten.
When you read about me evil-cuneveling my bike
off a ramp here in Atlanta, you'll know
the pancreatic cancer was coming.
I'm going to do something
cool.
I really don't care about
the microplastics, though. That's the
new, I don't know, call-to-arms they that's the new like i don't know call to arms buzzword it feels like for the health conscious i i saw some
college educated floozy who should be at home with her family on a podcast the other day she's like
and she was making the argument that birth rates were down because of testicular microplastics and
the guy was like you don't think it's like, you don't think it's birth control. You don't think it's birth control and abortions.
Well,
economics is my thing that I would have picked.
Yeah.
We're talking about since the seventies.
A mixture of those.
Yeah.
Probably birth control.
That ties into my personal theory.
Taylor,
why do you think birth,
birth rates are going down?
I think you're both right,
but I think,
you know,
you can't under cut birth control being a huge part of it.
Like it's the number one factor.
And having doctors recommend that young girls get and stay on it.
I feel like birth control is tied into my economics.
People deciding when to have kids, birth control is part of that.
Oh, well then...
I think people are like, hey, I don't want to have kids until i can afford a house that's
what i'm trying to say but i haven't put it that eloquently i don't want kids until i'm not living
paycheck to paycheck and that just delays people into their 30s nowadays if you take birth control
and abortion away like it was in whatever 71 then the then the birth rate skyrockets it's and then
we get the crime rates of the 80s, which is dope.
You literally do.
You're exactly right.
Then you get new Reagan,
Donald Trump in there
to pump the crack into the neighborhoods
and we lock them all up
and we're all good again.
It's cyclical.
That's the cycle of life.
That's nature.
Elton John could do that more eloquently.
It's a circle of life.
The circle of crime. a circle of life. It's a circle of crime.
Circle of crime.
Elton John, I think he's my favorite gay.
I love Elton John.
All right.
For now, he is my favorite gay.
Every time I'm playing Adrian Myers, I listen to...
Ian McKellen.
Okay, I don't know if Ian beats out Elton John. Gandalf?
Not only is he Gandalf, he's also
Magneto, which I know maybe you don't care about.
He's second top G.
He was a great Magneto.
Okay, I don't really care about Magneto.
I don't think either of these people can hold a candle to
MyGay, because MyGay has an OnlyFans,
Finster.
Is he gay?
Well, it depends. It's complicated. complicated it's complicated i don't know i
will have to ask finster next time well then he has to be in a different category out because i
because obviously i know him and then i like him he's my favorite i mean he sucks dick
well sweet is that gay switch is cool. Yes. Ah, shit. Is that gay?
Sucking dick isn't always gay.
I mean, sometimes girls do it.
Oh, is that what he meant when he said girlfriend?
Yeah.
Oh, well.
Nah.
Well, that is gay.
His girlfriend does have a penis.
His girlfriend has a penis, and so does he.
So does he.
And I don't know what his pronouns are,
because all the ones I used all night long were wrong. He literally doesn't either.
I don't think he gives a shit.
He literally doesn't know either, and he doesn't really care.
And I love that, because he is like a figurehead
in the trans, fucking egg, femme boy boy whatever the fuck community like he's the poster girl boy
um online for that group of people i know it's a bit but i loved it he would he refused to tell
me his pronouns on the show and then just got offended at whichever ones i used
this is a bit of what i said yeah he doesn't fucking care he didn't care what you call
but but if we're talking about the full-on gays like elton john and ian mckellen honestly i
george michael you threw you threw a wrench in my in my inner workings here bringing up ian mckellen
gandalf is so flagrantly straight that i sometimes forget. You know Aragorn today is the same age
Ian McKellen was during the trilogy?
Don't say things like that.
How's that feel?
I got an old picture of Aragorn.
That's so straight about Gandalf.
Pay any attention to women in that whole show.
He was really about Frodo.
Pay attention to.
Gandalf is a pedo.
He was like, oh, Frodo, destroy the ring
so I can get back to fucking elf
bitches. He was into
male hobbits.
I love a good dwarf moth.
You think Gimli?
Gimli was definitely straight.
You have to delve deep to find the slit.
If your girlfriend has a beard, how
straight are you? Like a vein of
mithril.
Yeah, Gimli was straight. legolas was so gay that he was
he wasn't covering for anything he was obviously straight he had a big case of the not gays so yeah
that's what i'm saying so the not gays is when you have your uh your your movie star your character
and your thing immediately be like ah it's your good use some pussy right now big old woman pussy
you know because i like those it's's like out of nowhere they have some
Legolas to that?
Well, not that. It was implied.
But I remember in the second movie
I felt like he was too close with
that made up, not the second movie, the Hobbit.
In the Hobbit movie with that girl they made up
so that she could have a love thing with one of those
ugly dwarves. By the way,
the Hobbit she picked, or the dwarf she
picked, was the hottest
dwarf in all of dwarfdom.
Everyone else has these big
bulbous noses and like
a forehead like a Cro-Magnum.
They got ears eight times
bigger than they should be and foreheads that don't
make sense, weird goofy chins.
And then here's like the
hottest dwarf ever. I'd fuck it.
Yeah, he looked good.
All the other dwarves had like facial psoriasis,
like problems.
And that's probably why he kept him in his troop.
He was like, no one's even going to notice,
I'm sure, next to these.
Did you know that Tolkien was working on a sequel,
like a legitimate sequel to the,
it's called like A New Shadow or A New Shadow
or something like that
is that the one is like sun tried to finish i don't know if his son ever tried to finish it
um i know there were three different drafts of it where you know each one was a little bit more
expanded on the other but it was 105 years after the death of aragorn aragorn's son is doing some
stuff i think he's the king now. I think the peasantry has
fallen into these orc cults
and all sorts of stuff
like that. I fell asleep.
I didn't hear the rest of what
it was about.
There's a really good
YouTube channel that you should be subscribed to
called Nerd of the Rings.
You've recommended them to me before and I haven't
got on it yet. That dude is a bigger
Lord of the Rings fan than you, because he'll go...
He's like... Yeah, he's got a YouTube channel.
He has these long-form
videos of like, what would happen if
Galadriel took the ring? What would happen if Frodo
or Gandalf took the ring?
And he's basing it on letters from
Tolkien, because Tolkien got
asked these questions. I think of Tolkien
and the trilogy as this thing from the
18th century or something.
But Tolkien died in 71, I think.
Something like that.
I thought it was before that.
70s.
He was writing Lord of the Rings
in the 1900s. It's not as old as...
It was based on his experiences
in World War I and he wanted to create
a uniquely English mythology because there really wasn't one outside of Arthurian legend.
And so that's why it's doubly insulting when you see the sort of miscegenation that Amazon's throwing into the mix with how they're making it.
Don't use that word.
I love that word.
Tom Bombadil's in the new season.
Did you hear? I did hear that word. I love that word. Tom Bombadil's in the new season. Did you hear?
I did hear that, and I don't care.
I'm not watching.
Not watching.
Not giving them any more eyeballs on their dog shit product.
No.
And all the people that were, you know,
LARPing trying to pretend it was better than it was
are probably not going to return to the show,
and Amazon will take a bath.
Get fucked, Amazon.
Well, what they're not taking a bath on is Fallout was it turned out to be um it broke all sorts of
records one of the most streamed shows they've ever had maybe the most streamed show they've
ever had super successful uh and i think it's it what's going to happen now is people are going to
seeing that success they're going to start looking for all any video game property to
to make a series or a movie out of so in three years from now you can bet there's going to start looking for all any video game property to to make a series or a
movie out of so in three years from now you can bet there's going to be a slew of more video game
adaptations trying to take advantage of that i'll watch the next season of fall it was like
it kept my attention it was like i don't think i'll re-watch it. I didn't like it that much. But I want more of Walton Goggins.
A similar fine amount of the girl.
I liked her.
I didn't love her character.
I didn't dislike her character.
She was just kind of the vehicle
through which the show moved.
I want that lunatic doctor
who was like...
Chicken fucker.
The chicken fucker.
I want a lot more of him.
There cannot be too much of that guy.
He was good.
I like the show a lot.
I'm looking forward to its return in two years, by the way.
Why do they do that shit now?
Well, they spend a bunch of money,
and they invest all that money in making season one,
and then they market it, and they release it,
and then they have to wait until we all all like it and they see that it's profitable
to make more and then they pull the trigger on the more and the wheels only then start turning
that's the like that they need to you know have some balls start season two right after season
one is done have some confidence in your product. Usually season three is quick to follow, though,
because they'll often green light season two and three
when they get going again.
The Boys is coming back soon, which I'm excited for.
I heard the creator of that say that he was going to go back on his word
and not only do five seasons.
He had said before that it was just five seasons, and that's it.
Would this have been four? I think we're going into four and it's and he's like you know maybe the story goes on a little longer than five yeah i'm getting used to these checks i think
there's a generation v spoiler in the boys but i didn't read on to see what it was
oh i don't know.
But I'm psyched for it.
The Boys has been one of my favorite things on TV for a while now.
I have a feeling we're on the second
half of the bell curve in terms of how good I think
it is. But we'll see. I'm still
looking forward to it. I think we're going to get Homelander's
trial for nuking
that guy. And that's going to be
fun as it mirrors Donald Trump's
trials perhaps a little bit uh
i i'm looking forward to that homelander is still the scariest uh villain on in in tv right now like
like when i watch that fallout show it's fun i'm not afraid of any of the villains or the bad guys
or the monsters it's just a fun little romp but whenever homelander's on screen i'm like
oh i hope he doesn't like tear my favorite character's nose off
or something awful like that.
Like, I hope he doesn't just rip it.
A chimpanzee in every scene.
Yeah.
There's always an angry chimpanzee in every scene.
Homelander said that he would beat Superman in a fight.
Yeah, he's a dumbass.
He said that he doesn't have a weakness of kryptonite.
There is no kryptonite for homelander
and uh that like superman would be fighting fair while homelander was throwing sand in his eyes
yeah that doesn't hurt superman's got pretty legit playing homelander said in the show that
he would beat up that he could be actor in real life said it because he wanted us to talk about
it because he knows how to promote his show but if you even look at how his show his characters represented in his
strength levels are represented in the show like he's he's not that strong you saw last season where
is his name stewie uh like stewie and uh and uh butcher took the fucking super formula
huey it's huey you got it um like they were beating the shit out of
homelander and none of them is that strong they're like throw a car strong or like fly through a
building strong it's like three on one right soldier boy huey and butcher sure but like the
way they interact with their environment like walls when they slam each other into a wall
it dents the wall so everybody goes through the wall right and like the building can
fall on him it's not a problem yeah his strength seems to be infinite and that's you know say what
you want about superman being an interesting character or not he wouldn't be interesting in
a fight against somebody like homelander because he would just like blink him out of existence if
he wanted to homelander is more evil than most of the villains that superman has to deal with
though because he's just from a nasty, dirty universe that's written by
a mean man.
Who's the mean man?
Same guy who made Walking Dead.
Oh, okay. Well, the
Walking Dead universe didn't seem that
like...
like there were good guys.
Yeah, but it's also very dark
with, you know, rape,
lots of sexual violence, cannibalism, horror, you know, mutilation.
It was an interesting take to me in that the most dangerous people in the Walking Dead universe were not the zombies.
I don't know.
Maybe it exists, but I don't know of any other zombie universes where the zombies are a secondary problem.
You know, like 28 days later, as scary as the zombies were,
when they finally get to the military camp,
they've been trying to get to this whole time for safety,
and it turns out in the military camp,
a bunch of sadistic rapers
who want to steal their women
and put them in sexual slavery
and kill them and put them in a ditch.
It's like, dang, the zombies didn't discriminate.
Like, you guys suck you're
right the people were bad i think you'd still argue the zombies are the biggest problem in
that universe yeah i guess so i i'm more afraid of a person than i am any kind of zombie though
like people are conniving and tricky and and and just brutal and sadistic like at least the zombie
eats you and gets it over with.
People are awful.
People stay problematic.
Most zombies, like you said, are dumb enough that you can build up your environment,
and then they're just wild animals.
People survive amongst tigers and bears
and shit like that all the time.
They just build up their environment
until they're protected from it.
You stay inside the house or what have you.
People, it's hard to protect yourself from them.
They're clever.
Yeah. We really
dominate the animal
kingdom so hard.
None of them are even
who's even second
place. I feel like if you
really want to dominate the animal kingdom,
you have to start breeding them out
of existence right
we need to bang so many donkeys that purebred donkeys aren't there anymore we we've on accident
done that to whole species we're like oh i'm sorry was there some kind of anteater that used to
fuck around here not anymore i needed i needed cheaper paper
i don't know what you're referring to it's still funny youtube and it's like all of the animals that the romans
would have seen that are now extinct all the animals the egyptians would have seen that are
now extinct and there's a lot of them it's kind of sad there's always there was some sort of pigeon
that was super numerous.
There was a hunting competition.
What a loss.
They killed like 3 billion of them or something.
They said the winner of a hunt would kill 50,000 birds.
They just killed them all.
Who did he kill them with?
Shaka.
Wait, when was this?
I don't know, 1900s? Early 1900s?
I thought you were talking...
You seamlessly went from Rome
to this. I'm like,
how are they getting so many?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lots of spears.
There's a YouTube series for
animals that the Romans would have seen
that have gone extinct.
For the Egyptians and so on and so forth. for animals that the Romans would have seen that have gone extinct. Yeah, okay. I see what happened.
For the Egyptians and so on and so forth.
And just as an example of another
animal that used to be around not that
long ago that we drove to extinction
were these pigeons
that we killed
off 120 years ago or something like that.
We need to do what
we did to Cro-Magnons and just
breed them out of existence. I some panda people right like bang the find something that makes a baby with people
i think we became crow i think we came from crow magnins or something like that
crow magnin yeah i think that's a prerequisite to they're not prerequisite preempted homo sapiens
right or maybe they probably lived side by side for a while and we were like get a load of these fucking idiots and then we figured out like some things
and and that's you you touched on it that's what i would want to go back and see that went extinct
the other people like the other people like the other hominids is what they're called
the other uh things that were a lot like us that had their own little communities of intelligent beings.
In Indonesia, they had these hobbit people that were like three and a half feet tall or something that were people.
And then obviously the Neanderthals.
And there's more.
There's several other little groups of people they found that are distinctly not human,
but intelligent two-leg walking hominids that fucking
make clothes and spears and hunted
and talk to each other and shit. Maybe not talk to each other.
They were close enough for us to mate with?
Like and create a wild offspring?
Not that I know. The Neanderthals,
yes. I don't know.
The Hobbit people they found
in a cave in Indonesia.
So like, I don't think
they know very much about.
I see some shit on motherless.
You can mate with more than you'd guess.
There's still a race of short people living in Indonesia.
They're called Indonesians.
Yeah.
Maybe not three feet tall,
but they're,
they're little fellas.
I think there are little fellas.
Yeah.
You have to be,
you're living on a,
there's a lot of islands there.
You're too big.
Like, you think some...
There are those...
...junkie weed is going to thrive there?
No, it takes too many calories.
There's that one group of people
who live on the coast or something.
They have extra large pancreases
or something like that.
They can hold their breath for really long
because of some genetic difference they have.
Like more robust lungs or something?
Yeah, we should all have that.
I think they can scrub CO2 from their blood more efficiently than we can or something.
The Nepalese have something like that with oxygen saturation, don't they?
They can just survive way better than other people at those ridiculous altitudes.
You would imagine.
So I know that,
um,
I read that one guy who's a Sherpa has done Mount Everest twice this month already.
And it's like a sixth or eighth time this year.
Yeah.
That's he's at work.
Like again,
not impressive.
It's not impressive.
Not impressive.
You tell me climb Mount Everest.
Oh,
cool.
I ran a four.
I run a five K a five. Yeah. Yeah. It really really is so we're like you gotta commit you know you gotta commit you gotta
train you gotta you gotta really focus mount everest not expensive though yeah not for me
no not for me either i don't it's more of a i can't be bothered not okay okay what like
feats like that
would impress you?
Swim the English Channel. I'd be blown the fuck away.
Go find the Titanic in a homemade submarine.
Swim the English Channel.
Or you swim Cuba to Miami.
You do one of those crazy swims like that.
I think that's 90 miles, right?
It's 90 miles. A lady did it.
No, that was the English Channel
and she was a big fat woman, right?
That's a different story.
That's probably a different story.
I don't know about the fat lady who swam the English Channel,
which guessing off the top of my head is 30 miles, right?
I have 22 in my head, but I'm not sure.
Yeah, I'm literally guessing just based on maps,
so I have no number I've ever read or remembered.
21, and it its narrowest.
Nailed it.
I bet you've got to start
swimming way
at an angle from where you want
to be because you're being
over the course of swimming 20 miles.
The current's got to pull you dozens of miles.
You've got to swim diagonally
or start on...
That's what I'm saying.
Your path will be diagonal. That's how I once did You got to swim diagonally or start on like, I think that's great, but allow just your,
your path will be diagonal.
That's how I,
I once did really well in a swimming competition.
What I said,
just following that exact lifeguard tryouts.
It wasn't an interview.
It was an athletic competition.
And there were 70 people doing this like mile swim.
You swim half mile straight out and then back.
And you can see the buoy and like 68 people lined up right in front of it.
But I could see the current and I was a surfer.
So I read currents like every day and I know I'm right.
But 68 people disagree with me.
And I'm like, but I, I know I'm right.
I can see it with my own eyes.
So I walked two blocks over all by myself and I had a friend who was also competing and he's like,
what are you doing?
And I'm like,
I can see it.
The current's going this way.
All these people are going to be swimming against the current.
And,
uh,
you know,
except me,
I'm going to swim straight out and let it carry me to the buoy.
And that's what I did.
And I did well,
I was just a kid and there,
everyone else is like collegiate swimmers and shit.
I was out of high school and I got a fourth. That's better than I expected.
Yeah, for sure. Something like that would impress me. That Mount Everest thing
I think is a rich guy hike. I know people die
but they don't die because it was so hard they couldn't continue. They die
because a storm came and it killed them. That doesn't make
it hard. That makes it dangerous.
Hmm.
I just don't think it's hard.
It still seems pretty...
It's not easy.
I think it's easy.
I think it's easy on the grand scheme of...
Like climbing K2,
I would be so much more impressed.
I don't want to spend too much time on Everest again
because I explicitly remember not that long
ago sitting here talking about it
and like pulling up the Wikipedia to talk
about how people died from
and like many of them were in
like early
retirement age
yeah it's nonsense
I could easily climb Mount Everest
I could easily beat Brock Lesnar.
I wouldn't even brag about it.
I wouldn't tell people.
There's a non-zero chance Kyle's already
climbed Everest.
I'm just saying, I might have went up last
week. You don't know.
This is a green screen. I'm in Nepal
right now. Great internet.
I'm in
base camp right now.
He's tethering to his phone. I have a base camp right now.
He's tethering to his phone.
Next show, you should have a tent in your green screen background.
I'm wearing my parka.
I put some makeup on, so my nose
is blue and black from frostbite.
Do you have any other info?
What's wrong?
What's so wrong?
About non-pigeon animals, a good animal the or the romans had
oh you know like the egyptians either one either one there was some uh there were smaller elephants
with bigger ears there was a something called an oryx which was like a buffalo bison type thing
uh i don't none of them were like oh there was maned, there's some sort of a maned wolf.
And then the one in Australia,
there's that old video of, that might be the maned wolf.
Oh, the Tasmanian devil?
That still lives.
There's plenty of those, I think.
I don't think those died out.
I thought, because you know that old picture,
it's like from the 1896 World Fair.
He's spinning around real fast.
Yeah.
They show the old Tasmanian devil, and it has stripes on the back.
Tasmanian tiger.
Tasmanian tiger.
That's what it is.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's the last.
They have the last living one, and they're like, here it is, the last living Tasmanian tiger.
And over there, a boy from Nigeria.
It loves when you put coins at it.
I saw that graphic today, and it was countries who at one time or another...
And in the next exhibit, we have an African child.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's what it was.
He also loves it when you throw coins at him.
They all love coins.
It was a graph of all the countries who have had people zoos, or people in their zoos.
And it's us, the English, the Indian. We had people in zoos?
Oh yeah, we had people in zoos. Anyone that came up with zoos
before they figured out that was
pretty gauche, they were throwing people
in there. They'd be like, up this next
exhibit from darkest Africa.
Again.
They would have... Don't throw peanuts, throw coins.
They would have black...
What would they do?
They just would put them in a cage and be like, look.
Animals do.
They just chill.
They'd read books and stuff.
They can't fucking read.
They didn't let them read.
They didn't go get some scholar from Nigeria.
They got some boy with a bone through his nose and threw him in a cage.
Unhand me.
What is the charge?
Madam. Demoracing. What is the charge? Madam!
The democracy!
The life and joy of sunny day
in the canyon fields!
Yeah, no.
I didn't know how to fucking read.
They just were like...
Zach, find us a picture of one of them kids in a zoo.
That little fellow.
Some British guy literally probably showed up
and was like,
Hey, this shiny new gun, all yours,
as long as you let me fill up this cage and I get to have an exhibit.
And they're like, all right, deal.
Dealio.
Take him to the zoo.
You can just go scoop up a few of those little fellows
and nobody would really know.
Probably not.
No, I'm glad he brought up the little elephants. I really like this. I don't know i'm glad he brought up the little elephant i really i
really like this that well i don't know what this is find me find me don't don't show me
there well there you go now that's what i wanted huh that is what i wanted wait is this
it looks like they're people are just swimming here there's there's black
i think african people just like oh oh, so this isn't a zoo.
This is just a swimming pool.
There's only one black guy on the edge, and I bet he's ready to get out of there before he joins the exhibit.
There's two.
I see two.
You see this guy in the bowler cap?
My God, who taught those black men to swim?
My first day of high school, i was in the locker room and they were taking all the smallest
freshmen and jamming them into lockers and the way these lockers worked is if you could get the
doors shut then you couldn't open it from the inside and i'm watching these poor kids i don't
know them because we combined a couple schools to make my high school but i don't know these
strangers i just know that small people are getting stuffed into lockers and i was like backing away as a fellow smallie trying not
to get noticed and uh some guy was like look at woody and jimmy walking backwards away from the
commotion hoping they don't go in lockers it's like look at you calling me out for it you're
just like anyway i think it was the same vibe as that african guy
watching his other africans in the pool at the exhibit like i should back away i don't want to
go into so this is the sad story of an african boy who was showcased in a zoo cage in 1904
otabingo was kidnapped from the congo and taken to america and exhibited at the bronx zoo in the
monkey house he suffered inhumane treatment and ended up committing suicide.
12 years later.
I believe that entire story,
but what is going on with his head in that left image?
Like,
does that look shopped?
Look at,
I mean,
the man has a tall head.
Look in the right image.
They probably wrap it probably from some sort of society that wraps their heads and fucking rubber bands until they get tall head. Look in the right image. Probably from some sort of society
that wraps their heads in fucking rubber bands
until they get all long and weird.
Is that a man on the right?
Yeah, that must be the same guy.
Oh, that's the same person.
Yeah, yeah.
He spent his whole life in the zoo.
Yeah.
Woody, this is from Dr. Panking on Twitter.
And it was posted at 1.28 a.m.,
which is prime fact
hours.
He's a writer,
a novelist, and a medical doctor, Taylor.
What problem, what issue do you take
with doctors? He's an MBBS
and an MPHI, whatever.
That's nothing compared to my Twitter bio.
DM for ads and promo. A master's in
bullshit.
Noted historian on race relations.
Jesus, Taylor.
Trying to take Dr. Pin King
down a notch.
Have some respect for Otto Buntunk.
We should.
I'm glad I didn't have to live in a zoo. That would have sucked.
I wouldn't want to live in a zoo either.
If I did, I'd hope it was a way nicer zoo than that.
Yeah, it was more of a... It was a little bit of a zoo I guess
it smelled nice in there it was so clean
that the zoo that that kid was in looked filthy
now that you say that I remember you were telling me
that the other inmates kind of self-policed
and kept it tidy
it's the cleanest place you'll ever go to
is a prison
not only I'm sure do the staff make sure the place is clean
but the prisoners don't want to...
It's where you live, and you have very
limited living space,
so you keep what you have clean.
What about people's personal hygiene? Did they police that
as much as they did the infrastructure?
Yeah, you'd get beat up if you were stinky.
At some point, they would correct you.
No one was stinky, but...
Your cube mate
had hair with an odor i think no no no
he had he had this fucking black man hair treatment shit there's some sort of goo he put in his hair
that smelled like uh like a big fat magic marker like a permanent marker like the big hit the
biggest one you've ever seen you can barely get the cap off the way that thing smells really strong
of like chemicals
or something that's what the stuff
he put in his hair would smell like but
I would only smell it when he was applying it
because I was on the top bunk and he's like six
four and his head's basically like right
next to me as he's like looking in his
mirror of his locker putting the shit in his hair
but yeah that's dumb but no BO
just a chemically
black man smell.
When I first do my hair, it smells slightly of coconut.
Yeah.
I smell nice too.
I like coconut.
Taylor, what kind of cologne
do you wear, Taylor?
Dolce and Gabbana light blue.
It's very
good. I've gotten many
compliments.
I've had the same bottle of ck1 for a decade
at least and i just ran out get yourself some dng light blue your girlfriend will like it i don't
have cologne but i have gillette aftershave it's a gel and if i smell that way you know i expect a
so if i bring it on the next get together be my you are you're firmly
in the cologne money camp of people you should you should invest in that treat yourself in an
$80 but that dentine and aftershave that's my scent don't steal it dentine
the last stuff dentine manufactured in 2004 it's actually
I've updated it but
a bottle of polo
a bottle of polo at my house and I had
that bottle of polo for years too
and I used it I was like this is part of my
part of my group now yeah
cologne is like a like
a bottle that's like five ounces
or something like four ounces
is like 80 bucks at Nordstrom of
the Dolce and Gabbana stuff I have. And like that, that's, that's years and years. Like it's cologne.
You need one spray if you're putting it on. And how often are you wearing cologne?
Speak for yourself. Every day.
I get two dates out of a bottle like that.
I didn't even know that I had $80.
You wear cologne every day? Just even if you're just out and like about the house
if i could take a shower at like 7 p.m after working out and then go to bed three hours later
but i'm going to put cologne on but after that it's just part of my routine i don't i sort of i
turn my brain off for large parts of my day and so i have these pre-programmed when i'm making
coffee or when i'm making coffee
or when i'm like doing a thing that i do every day like one of those routine things my brain is off
it's in it's in it's in like that tesla mode where like i might hit a curb but i'm gonna get there
all the same like it's kind of self-driving and and so like yeah cologne's going on like i know
all my all my shit's in a certain order but yeah yeah, cologne every day. That's why I'm out.
But like you said, it lasts a decade.
I think it's an eight ounce
bottle that I had. And then I went
through wings bottle.
I went through wings bottle in like two years.
It wasn't full when he left it.
Yeah.
Well, I probably wear cologne once
a week. Like if
I'm going out
to dinner or whatever.
Out on the town.
Out on the town.
Yeah.
I want to be able to go to the blues game.
What does it smell like?
Is it spicy?
I'm so bad at describing smells.
It smells good.
It's not too sharp. it's not an aggressive scent and i've had
a lot of i mean what i want you can't sell with women because they're going to compliment whatever
cologne you're wearing like when they're interested in you like that just as one of their little
signals and so maybe it's not the cologne itself but i want some i want some black
market cologne you know what i want i want some of that shit it's got ambergris in it rhino horn
oh ambergris yeah i want that's i don't think you can get that in the united states but i bet in
japan you can get it so i'm hoping that like if anybody out there can get me well actually just
mail me mel woody a bottle of the finest ambergris cologne
from Asia, and then he's
going to send it my way as long as... Test its flammability.
Yes. It'll be very flammable.
It'll be very flammable.
Gotta test it, then over, sure. I just had to mull it over
for a second, Kyle. If I were just, like,
you know, off the top
of the dome to describe Dolce & Gabbana
light blue.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'd say that it's kind of a,
kind of a sensation of sun drenched skin,
the bracing breeze of the Mediterranean sea,
the fruity and floral sense of the vegetation.
That's just like,
that sounds kind of ethnic to me.
I'm not down.
I don't know about all that.
Mediterranean,
the North Mediterranean sea. No No that sounds like some olive eating
More mothered
Some olive eaters
You don't fuck with the olive part of Europe
You're a butter
You're ancestors
We're ninjas
That's a fact
You can look it up it's been written
It's been written it's been written
your ancestors
you're an eggplant
you're an eggplant
I love that fucking scene that's a good movie
I recommend that's true romance
it's just like the cast of that's outrageous
Gary Oldman is unrecognizable
Gary Oldman plays a
Rastafarian drug dealer pimp
with one of his eyes gone and he speaks in a Rastafarian drug dealer pimp with one of his eyes gone.
And he speaks in that Rastafarian mom.
I've seen parts of this movie on TV before.
And that's one of the scenes I remember.
Everybody's seen the interrogation scene with Christopher Walken and what's his name.
But it's a good fucking movie.
Give me a Walken.
Give me your best Walken.
Foo Fighters
that's my favorite he was on SNL
and he asked the Foo Fighters
do I put the accent on the Foo
or Fighters
and they're like on Fighters
ladies and gentlemen
Foo Fighters
can you imagine
how often he's just trying to go about
his business and someone's like
hey did you hide something in your ass today like do you know why he speaks that way he had a stroke
long ago long ago i don't remember exactly what he sounds like his parents were immigrants his
parents were immigrants who did not speak
english where a country where it's just them like no one else sounds like that they they had this
bro he learned english from someone who barely spoke english and and they had that pause and
like deliver sort of effect um to their wherever they were from i don't know where i don't remember
one of the stupid countries i'm sure and so that's why he speaks that way.
And it's awesome. We can all use a little work on our walk-ins.
I think you don't break out
impressions that much, but I liked your Jamaican.
I think you did a good job.
The Ross Safari and Gary Oldman.
Ross Safari Kyle should make more
appearances. I do have
some dreads in the other room I could throw on.
Yes. I got the hat.
I got some shoe polish you're going way too dark shoe polish shoe polish no spray tan when they're
trying to i was just watching that i was just watching that yeah yeah days ago yeah i hadn't
i hadn't dipped my toe back in sunny in so long because i did that stupid thing over the years where i drilled them all
into my head so much that now like i can go years without watching a one second of sunny and then i
put season four back on and it's like like a brain blast of like all of it's remembered right away
like oh yeah i remember every line of every episode what a good show i was watching a montage today of all of the uncle jack moments you know and junk uncle jack
it was in an early early season like maybe first four and charlie is like showing on a doll where
he was touched or something like that and uncle jack Jack is getting off watching. He's like, slowly, slow, slow, slow.
When they find that kid
and they're talking to him about it
and he's like, where's the child?
Have you touched the child yet?
And then they're like,
she's like, ah, I messed up big time.
I kidnapped Bill Ponderosa's kids.
I got him out in the car.
And he's like,
have you got them confined in a crawl space or a
closet? Have you touched
them yet?
No. What? No.
Jesus. Fuck.
Yeah, his unabashed
pedophilia is
one of the best parts of the show.
Him just
clearly being a pedophile.
What did I come back to?
Talking about Uncle Jack and Always Sunny sunny how he's just the most clear of clear pedophiles but the only thing he's insecure about is like he's like my hands don't show my hands i'm gonna put
them under the table now take the phone can you lay your hands over mine so we're lawyers
we're lawyers yeah it's like what a ridiculous ridiculous thing to be self-conscious about when you're an actual pedophile.
Actual pedophile.
And he actually really does have tiny hands.
I noticed in that scene that they genuinely look like child hands.
I was like, is that CGI?
See, I watched it and I couldn't tell if he actually had small hands or if I had it implanted in my head from the episode.
Because I never noticed on my own.
Yeah, it's the episode
where she's kidnapped Bill Ponderosa's kids
and they're sitting in the bar.
Like you said, he puts them under the table for the picture.
They really are tiny.
Do they play it up and give them big
cuffs and such? He wears
giant fake hands over his hands
in one scene when he's in court
and he's got these big fake... and everyone
knows they're fake.
And he goes to gesture and point's got these big fake... Everyone knows they're fake. He goes to gesture
and point it like the defendant.
It was him! My hand flies
off and he starts screaming,
Oh God! Oh God! Don't look!
He's trying to put his hand back on.
He's trying to have the hand remark
stricken from the record. He's talking to the stenographer.
It's fucking
great.
I told you a few times, but the newer seasons
or the last season was
good. It was a throwback
to previous years. It was
cool to see. Because a lot of the shows that
we've been watching for
15 or 20 seasons now
have kind of lost most of their
zest. They're not
quite the show they used to be.
So it was nice to see them have a bit of a resurgence.
Yeah, South Park.
Family Guy.
I've watched New Family Guy and thought it was okay.
I thought it was okay.
The Simpsons, obviously, you can look at the IMDb draft.
You can see where the decline is.
And it's obvious.
They lose writers and they run out of ideas.
I don't want to see modern Simpsons though.
That's so off-putting to me.
To have them make commentary on current things
or be doing modern things.
It's really off-putting
because I want the Simpsons to be
nostalgic and forever.
I almost want them to forever exist in the 90s
like they should still be in the 90s as far as i'm concerned with like what's going on bush should be
president you know what i mean like our clinton that would be fine with me if that was the the
avenue they took i know you're a little miffed that king of the hill is coming back um and bobby
is going to be 21 or 22 years old something like that and he's uh he's a
chef um and uh and i'm sure you'll have old hank uh and and i hope that a big focus of the show is
old hank dealing with 2024 like like i i appreciate how much taylor doesn't like it but i like it
i didn't want them to come back and try to do more King of the Hill as if nothing had changed.
Grow up the character.
Show me where we are now.
I don't want more of the same.
We've done.
Dale died.
Yeah.
The actor who did Dale's voice died.
And so after I heard that last year, I was like, oh, so any hope of it being good just went out the window.
Dale's such an important character.
I hope they get AI.
That's what I would do.
I'd like that 70s show to come back and have the kids be adults now.
They did that.
I think they called it that.
They straight up did that. They did that, and they brought everybody back except for Danny McBride,
who's a rapist and in prison.
No, not Danny McBride.
Danny Masterson.
Danny McBride is the guy from
sorry danny mcbride i love you shout out to danny mcbride fan of the show watches yep
you don't know yeah whatever i like i like it when you see president lisa simpson every so often
like a little glimpse into the future i don't i like i like it on one-off episodes when it's part of the plot, but the bread and butter of the show
is like
Peggy and
Hank and Bobby and their surrounding
little cast and the slice of
life problems they encounter as a
couple of parents with a single
child. They kind of want more kids.
You gotta change it, though. If you were still making
videos about how parents don't truly understand
what kids are going through, that would suck.
I'm okay with the change, too, because I don't want more of the same.
I do want something different if they're going to come back because Brittany Murphy's gone.
They probably call it Spring of the Hill or something, but Brittany Murphy's dead.
Dale's dead.
Chuck Mangione, I think he's dead um dale's dead uh chuck mangione
uh i think i think he's dead britney murphy peggy or the hot one she was the hot one he was yeah
yeah she was not i mean all of those episodes that centered around luann were terrible and so
it didn't hurt the show to not have luann i didn't like Luann as a character. I really liked... I liked Bobby and his
silliness.
I liked Hank and Dale.
I liked the boys, I guess.
I liked... If it was an episode with
just the four men off in the
woods, that was a good episode to me.
Dale's
probably my favorite character out of
all of them. Bill has the coolest
episodes.
The Bill Dozer episode, I stand by.
The Bill Dozer.
That's the best episode for me when basically Bill was this incredible high school standout.
Now he's a complete loser.
So this is one feather in his cap.
I was the Bill Dozer. I was the running back who could not be stopped by an entire team.
And this new high school kid's about to break his record,
and he welcomes it.
He loves that he's being interviewed on the local radio to talk about when he was the bulldozer
and how he's proud that little Bobby or Billy
or whatever his name is is going to break the record now.
Well, the kid who was going to break the record
breaks his leg instead.
And so now he's out, and they're like, oh, he fell short.
Or there's one more game in the season.
They have the kid with the broken leg go out on the field late in the game,
and the defense lets him walk in and score.
He's on crutches.
He drops the football, and a defense member picks the ball up
and hands it to him.
Here you go.
And he walks in and breaks Bill's record.
And Bill's like, you know, I'm a high school dropout.
I'm still eligible.
I think the billdozer needs to come back
and break that record. He starts training
and it's great. That's my
favorite episode. I love that shit.
It could get cringy
for me with Bobby and
his girlfriend and stuff like that.
Khan was always good.
I welcome a new thing on King of the Hill.
I'm glad they've changed it.
It feels right for Bobby to still basically be a kid at 21.
I like that they stuck with the series finale with him sort of discovering
cooking as the way he and Hank could bond.
I hope that Hank is going to his restaurant.
That's still the only thing they can
come together on
is cuisine or Bobby's cooking.
I hope that
Bobby is a wild left-wing
liberal and Hank
is conservative and they're having talks
about that. I'm looking forward to it.
I hope they AI
Dale too. I need Dale with his conspiracies.
In 2024, Dale is great.
All the conspiracies,
con trails, and whatever.
I don't have high hopes.
Will Dale be in the show?
I don't know.
He's dead, so I don't think so.
You could do him.
No.
No.
They could find someone who could do him.
You AI and you pay his widow.
That's what I do 100%.
That's soulless.
I'm cautious about that.
I don't know.
I feel like
it's so good.
That's what AI is good at.
Maybe you can't go and write me a symphony orchestra,
but copying somebody's voice
and maybe not on the
spot. You're basing it on
the ones where you just click
a button and make it happen, but they've got a studio.
They've got plenty of time to be like, you know, that didn't come
off right. Let's change the way they roll
that R. Let's change the way he leads from this
word to that word, Hank.
They could go in there and they
could tinker with it and make one. Hank, I'm burning in hell and they're using a computer to get my soul's trapped in
that machine hey joseph i'm scared yeah i think it's better to get a person i feel like this
conversation kind of made that true i what computers are good at are emulating almost anything but a human we're just too
sensitive to voices and faces and stuff yeah i don't think it's i agree 100 it wouldn't turn
out well either way it's not going to be a good show i don't know i can't tell sometimes if i'm
watching a youtube channel that's run by a man or a machine dude yes i like sometimes i'm a i feel
like i do tell by before it's over but the fact that i get four
or five minutes in sometimes on the long end yeah and then i'm like this is ai that it's
accenting the wrong things and it's not following its own train of thought like you'd expect and
that's the british applicable you piece of shit yeah i i uh i i don't notice sometimes. What I want to see an example of,
I keep hearing that there are
AI OnlyFans girls
who are just killing it.
I need to see one of these fake women.
You need to be one of them.
I bet we can find an example
of an AI OnlyFans just on Twitter.
You just get that service
that replies to your messages
and then just do they look real you see
you see some real ladies there but yeah these are not this is not ai we've been hoodwinked
you guys have been active on tinder in your life do you ever get ai chat bots trying to
scam you on tinder because i thought that was a thing uh
i've definitely gotten messages that were like clearly from uh just a random like they just some
some body out there just grabbed a photo from like an actress's website threw it up and then
it's just like disjointed sentence with too many spaces in between words where it'd be
like hey space space space space okay what's new with like an exclamation point or something like
it was a person with a bad translate app or an ai you can't really tell what it is yeah you can't
tell 100 but like if you look at the pictures and it's clear that it's like these are just headshots
from like a woman who was you know probably you know an extra
you reverse image search
the you reverse image search the
the photos and then you ask
questions and usually
I just I could tell right away that
something's up so I just in the like I'm not
interested in finding out what scam you're running
like as soon as I have a scent of
a scam I'm gone like
oh you know I'm doing i'm doing okay
having a hard time with my rent this month you know
get the fuck out of here you whore yeah yeah keep i hope you get kicked out
and then other other times it's like you're so fat you're real
sometimes it's like i know you're real. I know all of you is real.
Yeah.
It's like the balls to get on a website for dating and like have a bio that's like, I'm really picky.
And it's like, no, you're not.
You eat everything inside.
Like not even.
Here's my question.
In middle school school the ugliest
girl in school liked my friend he was actually a good looking guy but he was insulted by it
and i was like like i get why like it's not like her vision is bad right just because she's ugly
doesn't mean you are lisa burger if the ugliest girl in school thinks she has a shot with you
she thinks you're the ugliest guy in school that she has a shot with you she thinks you're the ugliest guy in school
that was his take
so do you apply that at all
like if some fucking Hamburglar goes in there
and tries to
I was going to ask
I was almost going to ask him the exact same question
I was going to ask him has he ever been hit on
by a woman so ugly that it hurt his feelings
yeah yeah
no no I take it all as a compliment me too
yeah yeah i i it's been a long time but i was once hit on by a guy and uh i'm like he didn't
bite if i was getting hit on by like fit gay guys i'd be like yeah yeah i got it yeah yeah
i'm not getting hit on by fake. Go to the public gym.
Should I?
Ew, public gym, wait in line at machines?
No.
I never waited in a line, but I was there.
Watch some other guy finish his last two sets of squats.
I'd sooner buy my own milk than go to a public gym.
Yeah, you can't work out in a home gym for six, seven years and then go back to the peon nonsense that
i bet if you went to a nice one though like i've got almost i've got all the machines i want i
think but still like there's some stuff at the at the big gym that i don't have there's cool
shit there there's gigantic machines and i don't know i i never minded i'm like hey i'm about to jump rope we all agree on
63 degrees in here oh that's the problem okay that's the problem yeah i would go in there and
it would be a lit it would be like 70 and 7 which is pretty good but come on i want it to be freezing
in here it's 62 degrees in my house right now like i like it cold why would you do that you'd
like because electricity is almost free in atlanta apparently i look i i every every month i get the power bill and i'm like what
can we do like three or four of these at a time or something like it's so little it'll be dozens
of dollars you've gotten like free water you've mr magooed your way into like free utilities in
different ways and in your head you're like it just free. It comes out of the wall.
Meanwhile, your neighbor's
losing hair.
$800?
Turn that computer off,
Johnny!
Sarah, do I hear a microwave ding?
I better not hear it.
Put that water in the
sunlight outside. Let it get warm.
Household now. You're over there, not even using your in-home outside. Let it get warm. We're in a household now.
You're over there not even using
your in-home sauna. It's just on.
I wouldn't be ready.
Red hot rocks.
Oh, that's the bathroom
where I always leave hot, hot water coming out.
Just in case.
Hot water is always ready. Yeah, it's really cheap i don't know if it's because we've got nuclear um right by here i don't
know where atlanta gets its electricity specifically like what what power source
we've got hydroelectric and nuclear in the state um so so probably a nuclear is like the most
expensive um we looked this up and and it was difficult to argue with you but i would imagine So probably a mixture is like the most expensive. Um,
we looked this up and,
and,
and it was difficult to argue with you,
but I would imagine over time without subsidies.
Well,
we looked at this,
but it was, it was multifaceted because isn't it,
isn't also about the volume of energy that can be created and,
and the reliability,
you know,
you've got that nuclear,
you've got energy on tap 24 hours a day,
um,
regardless of wind,
sun, weather, time of day and all that stuff.
So the thing that we looked at when we discussed it like probably a year ago now, the site that we were at was like a literal anti-nuclear site.
And their entire presupposition was that, well, if you assume that solar is always in use and has 100 percent hundred percent efficiency, and then you assume nuclear is, you know,
in use and has efficiency,
then actually solar is cheaper.
And it's like,
okay,
well,
what are their actual efficiency numbers?
And that's the problem with wind and solar is that they're not that
efficient.
They can't always gather power.
Whereas if you have a nuclear plant,
that's creating power.
Always.
It's always creating power,
barring some fucking, you know,'s creating power always it's always creating power barring some
fucking you know horrible thing like it's it's making power all the time it seems like the way
to go it's the future that's what we i can't believe we agree that there's probably a combo
that is the way to go like solar for example produces the most power at times when air
conditioners run might be a nice way to add a little extra capacity on top of nuclear sure especially if you're
I feel like we need those batteries that Elon
Musk has to charge stuff full of
energy
the oil should be powering our
fucking vehicles and our aeroplanes and
making all of our wonderful like plasticky
magical
devices that we create but but I don't
I don't I hope we're not burning
oil to fuel cities.
We're not turning
electrical turbines with
gasoline or diesel or something.
We do that
with natural gas, right?
I don't know.
Do what?
That's how we power a lot of electricity
with natural gas and oil.
And I think Pennsylvania even uses a lot of coal.
Does that sound right?
I don't know how those...
China's all about coal.
I've seen those graphs.
I guess they're all just boiling water though, right?
As far as I know, yeah.
Why not use the magic system that we figured out when brilliant minds were like,
hey, look at this. Magic stick boils water for basically ever.
What do you do?
You just keep water around it for it to boil.
Pretty much.
But other than that,
what do you do?
Well,
we keep people from bombing it.
And there's some other ones that I like too,
that aren't always dug into.
I'm stuck on this title stuff.
So I,
I'm influenced by the fact that I grew up on an island and when the
seawater raises the water rushes around the island through the inlets fast i'll make it up like 12
miles an hour something like that and then it goes the other way it does this all day every day with
the predictability that the sunrise and sunset hold you know it's moon based and i'm like why don't we harness this
traveling water the way we do rivers and dams and stuff you know you need you need some buoys
where you connect the cable to the seafloor and you got your buoy and then as it's lifted and
dropped over and over it can just be cranking out energy for us but yeah just a huge field of paddles
that move back and forth you would imagine would just be
making it flows one direction for six hours and then the other direction for six hours yeah let's
turn it yeah i don't know why there isn't like that would take a lot of space in the water and
someone could probably be like oh yeah that fucks with all the dolphins or fucks with all the crabs
or something like that i don't know like there though. It looks like there's somewhere, though, that we could... Yeah.
Like, cut an inlet into the land and keep the fish out
and still use the power of the forces.
Yeah, or build a nuclear power plant.
The inlet's 16 miles wide.
We can't...
And not all of it's navigable.
Some of it's kind of shallow.
I mean, I don't...
You can't devote one of these miles to...
Let's just put, like, 10 nuclear power plants in North Dakota,
like, right next to Canada, Let's just put like 10 nuclear power plants in North Dakota Like right
Next to Canada
And pipe it all
Right back hot piping nuclear power
They're going to be handing it out on street corners
Get your nuclear power here
The transmission
Distances is the problem with that
That's why you can't build them all out
In Wyoming or something
Where he wouldn't mind so much if they melted down a little bit.
Maybe one in the middle of New York.
Just one.
Just one.
The bad one.
No, a really good one.
It's the safest.
Everyone's talking about it.
The Trump brand one.
The Trump brand one.
Yeah, the Trump brand nuclear power plant.
It's the hottest reactor in the world.
Hottest reactor. I would like that. It's the hottest reactor in the world. I mean, nuclear power is just so much cooler than all the other powers that like the kid in me is like, do that one.
Like, do the one that's magic.
It seems like it's the one.
It's the one where they talk about nuclear waste.
It's so little.
It's so little that you haven't considered how much less physical space it takes up than a giant field in the water or land.
I think the wind...
A nuclear power plant?
Yeah, they don't take up nearly as much space as a wind farm or a solar field.
The capacity wind farm you would need.
I think the wind farms are ugly i really do um and and they put
those in like populated areas so i've driven through them before and it's like wind farms
yeah kansas has a bunch of them and they are an eyesore i drove past them coming back from chicago
there's some in maybe southern illinois or somewhere like somewhere on the way back from
chicago we drove through a wind farm i've driven through a bunch of wind farms and I usually think of them as in
very unpopulated areas,
you know,
farms.
Well,
it depends on what populated is right.
If you got one farmer on a thousand acres,
is that populated?
Like to me,
it's not.
No.
And every time I drive past those,
like,
like half of them are like,
all right,
so there's enough wind to move that one,
but not you or you or you or you.
I don't know why that happens,
but I agree it happens.
It's like all these half are spinning.
Have you seen the video where
there's two people on top
of one of those,
and it's spinning completely out of control
and on fire, and they're
hugging because they're about to die?
I saw a tornado hit one
recently no i did not see what the one you're talking about that sounds awful yeah it is awful
no they died they were every bit as good as those israel refugees for palestinian refugees there
was a hamas soldier in that in that yes there was one of them was a Hamas soldier. Well, we can't confirm he's not.
True.
I don't know if there are any good people
over there, Taylor.
I'll tell you what, I remember a guy a while back was saying
there was good people on both sides and he got shouted down.
Now all of a sudden,
good people on both sides over there? I don't know.
I saw Nikki Haley signing a bomb.
She did, yeah.
What did she say?
Do you remember what she wrote?
She's like, finish the job,
you dirty ragheads or something.
She wrote something awful.
She's the fucking worst.
You hate everybody.
What's your favorite politician?
Trump.
He's the guy who came up
and finished the job before Nikki Haley did.
Yeah, but Trump's had a history of funny like funny comments entertaining he's got good hair he's losing weight maybe or he's gaining weight
you see that quote from him where he's like people say I'm a man of Elvis
people say all the time I look like Elvis
see Nikki Haley's never even tangentially
approached something that funny
her life people say i look like share uh you know and you know when i look in the mirror i see share
she kind of doesn't like share just a little bit like ugly share she could be share's ugly sister
share was fucking hot like shares i think micky haley might have a prettier face than share
you think it's crazy i I think Cher's really old.
I'm picturing.
Neck down, Cher.
Fuck you.
Bullshit, old now.
Cher's 100.
No, I was thinking she's older than Nikki Haley, right?
She's ancient.
It's shocking she's still alive.
I'm talking about Cher from Sonny and Cher
when she would wear those titty shirts,
when she would be barely dressed on nightly television, dancing and singing and looking hot as fuck. I think she's be like barely dressed on like on nightly television
dancing and singing and looking hot as fuck i think she's half native america or something
like that i also like when she's got her flat ass and that g-string on that one uh video where
she's on the aircraft carrier the battleship i think if i'm back to home i mean share was
share was a cutie back then exactly yeah yeah see what i'm talking about like like
this is her aging over time obviously yes that's how aging tends to happen
yeah but she didn't age though there's got
just got tighter and tighter like that simpsons bottom left is her oldest
picture somehow. Yeah.
The top row is what she really looks like and the bottom row
is what she was able to have
crafted. Look at that.
She's got much
better pictures.
She wore lots of sexy stuff
when she was on Sonny and Cher.
Wasn't she groomed by Sonny Bono?
I don't know their ages.
I know they divorced
at some point.
I was a
kid at the time when he died.
She was 16 when they met.
How old was he? 27.
He's dead. RIP to Sonny Bono.
For the 60s though
it was probably the 60s when they met
that doesn't seem all that bad
but that is pretty rough
27 and 16
I knew 16 year old girls in high school that were dating
27 year old men
in 2000 fucking
zero
2000 and zero
I was going to add a number,
but I was like,
no,
that was like,
yeah,
right around there.
He'll wipe to the,
uh,
yes.
We'll hear from a couple of wonderful,
wonderful sponsors.
This episode of PK is brought to you by blue chew.
Let's talk about sex guys.
Shouldn't you always be at your best?
2024 is the year to maximize your performance in the bedroom.
Listen up, BlueChew.com.
BlueChew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra,
but in chewable tablets and at a fraction of the cost.
You can take them anytime, day or night, so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises.
The process is simple. Sign up at BlueChew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical
providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days.
The best part? It's all done online. So no visit to the doctor's office,
no awkward conversation, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. BlueChew's tablets are made in
the USA and prepared and shipped direct to your door in a discreet package.
Blue Chew wants to help you have better sex.
Discover your options at BlueChew.com.
Chew it and do it.
And special deal for our listeners.
Try Blue Chew free when you use promo code PKA at checkout.
Just pay the five bucks in shipping.
That's BlueChew.com, B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com.
Promo code PKA to receive your first month free.
Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information.
And big thanks to BlueChew for sponsoring the show.
Again, that is B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.
BlueChew.com.
Promo code P-K-A at checkout.
Just pay the $5 in shipping and you can give it a go.
See if it's right for you.
And when you do give it a go, to Dalafil.
To Dalafil is the one to go for.
Kyle's an expert, a resident expert in getting your dick harder with pills or tablets in this case, chewable tablets.
And so he led us to water and we drank, and he's trying to do the same for you.
So luchi.com, promo code PKA.
Just pay the five bucks in shipping, and we recommend the Tadalafil.
You want to know that if I want to fuck right now, have a really hard dick, boom.
Oh, I want to do it tomorrow again too?
Boom.
You're in the mix.
You're in the mix, partner.
That's what you need.
Yeah.
You'll be the best you.
Go twice.
The absolute best you.
You're good to go.
Refractory period, it's like down to nothing.
Yeah.
it's like down to nothing yeah and what's the point of having the hardest dick in the land if at the end of your sexual escapades there's just a little tootski of cum coming out of your
penis there's no point there's no laughing at you behind your back the women are laughing at you
behind your back they're saying his dick was hard sure but his bust left something to be desired and
if you don't think women are paying huge amounts of attention to that,
then you don't know women.
Not like we know women, right?
Yeah, they're like, fill me, fill me, fill me.
And then she left half full.
Classic.
I thought a woman was in the room for a second.
The way you were saying exactly what I've heard many times.
Lock and load is the premium,
premium ejaculation,
increasing supplement.
It's taking the world by storm folks,
and you can get it.
You can try it for 10% off over at gorilla mind.com with code PKA or code
jizz.
And it doesn't stop there.
Folks,
of course,
start with lock and load.
That's the number one product over there in my humble opinion,
but it doesn't,
it doesn't end there.
Get yourself energy drinks, weight loss supplements, dream supplements, anything and everything you could possibly need efficaciously dosed by Derek and his geniuses.
You can get for 10% off over at GorillaMind.com with code PKA or code Jizz.
But come on, get real.
Start with the Lock and Load.
What's the point of being jacked if again you're fucking with your
hard dick and then there's there's not a big uh explosion at the end it's just a trickle you went
out with a whimper you know you don't want that you want to go out with the bang you want to go
out with an explosion you want everyone in the neighborhood talking about it all the all of her
friends you want her to open up her conversation with her girlfriends next time my goodness i can't believe how much alan came all over me the other night and they're gonna go
my goodness that's crazy because my husband butch is a bitch i just call him bitch now hey bitch hey, bitch. I was going to curl the room. What is that?
Yeah, I know.
I hear the girls talking,
the Lock and Load customers,
like, is it normal to sound like
a 7-Eleven slushie machine afterwards?
And yeah, I mean,
for Lock and Load partners,
yes, it is.
Yeah, if he loves you, it is.
And that's something
for the female listeners out there,
both of you,
if he's not coming very much,
it's because he doesn't love you.
It's because he's revolted by your presence.
He's tired of your stories.
I don't know how much you come
is based on how much he loves you
and whether or not he wants to get you a ring.
That's true.
That's true.
So rest assured, ladies,
if you're blowing him
and then you're going to swallow his cum and it feels like the same amount when you got a slightly runny nose and you sniff too hard and it goes in the back of your throat.
He doesn't love you.
He doesn't care about you.
And that's that's all there is to it.
So get lock and load.
Start coming like a man.
Make sure your woman knows you love her.
And unless and woman, you know, get this for your man.
Yeah.
I love you more. And woman, get this for your man. Yeah. Buy it for your man.
Buy it for all your loved ones that are male.
Because if you're a woman, you don't have sperms.
And so we can't help you there.
Yet.
Yet.
I don't think we need to help them.
They're fine.
They have enough help as it is.
You can do a BKA lube.
I mean, we kind of have done a lube.
Just after you need it.
Is that what people want?
My face on a lube container?
Yes, yes, it is.
Taylor's old-timey, sexual, fantabulous lubrication device.
You fought for the cum splatters on the bottle of the Lock and Load.
What would you fight for on the
lube?
I would fight to make sure
that unlike this bottle
that our presence was
almost entirely minimized.
The official
lube of...
We'd have to just partner with
Wet Platinum or someone like that.
No, I want something like Crisco-based.
We can do better than Wet Platinum.
Crisco?
Yeah, I want like a pomades-type substance that you get for like a fisting cream.
No, the internet keeps telling me seed oils are poison now.
Seed oils are poison.
That's what they're saying online.
Who's saying it?
So where do your oils come from?
Weird people.
Do you use motor oil?
My oils, I guess if I'm cooking, I usually use like olive oil.
That's kind of, seems like that works for most everything.
That's a low smoke point.
You can't use that.
Okay, well, oh, I have beef tallow too.
My grandma got me beef tallow.
Now that'll do the trick and get that smoking.
And you know what?
I think it was you.
Whatever yeast infection.
They used to do the McDonald's fries in beef tallow.
Yep.
And they were better that way.
I haven't seen much of the store because I'm still using the one that my grandma got me, the beef tallow cooking oil or spread, whatever.
I'm going to stick with it it is better it tastes
nice it depends what you're cooking obviously making a steak and beef tallow makes a ton of
sense uh i've done french fries and duck fat before that really good i made eggs it was better
with making eggs i liked that yeah yeah they used to use beef tallow at uh mcdonald's and the
cholesterol was outrageous in the french fries and so now they use like a beef tallow flavoring agent they add god knows what it's made of it was
because of their concern with the public's cholesterol not it wasn't some overhead thing
i think it was there was like it was the 90s whenever everybody was trying to like be super
thin and salads were becoming a thing on menus or trying to be and it was a bad look that their french
fries had. It was a shocking
amount of cholesterol, I think. And again, it's
fries. It's not meat.
I don't think cholesterol,
that's not what makes you fat, though.
No, but it's bad for your heart.
It's unhealthy.
I think that's up for debate.
I don't think it is. I think they got some strong science on the debate. I don't think it is.
I think they got some strong science on the matter.
I don't know.
The clinical data.
Have you read the data?
The studies?
Pull up that doctor with the monkey boy.
Let's ask him about this.
Let's ask Dr. Petey Penguin or whatever the fuck his name was.
That was the saddest part of that photo, right?
That he had a friend.
They were like, give him a friend.
He looks sad.
And they gave him a chimpanzee.
He had that little monkey in his arms.
They were like...
That's like...
Do you know who you're talking to?
This is like Taylor's dream.
Yeah.
It's like telling me, isn't it sad?
Oh, to live as the monkey boy.
All I did is feed him trail mix.
I'm like, yeah, what a fucking tragedy.
Oh, was his best friend a chimpanzee?
Taylor's like, fuck.
Yeah.
Okay, so he was Mowgli.
Great.
Shout out to Kimmy and Kirby,
the chimps from my second birthday party.
They are long dead, undoubtedly.
No, they were a long time.
Well, they were older.
Michael Jackson's chimp is still alive.
They were older than me at the time.
So those chimps are probably in their late 30s now.
They live in 40s, right?
Incidentally, I think. Okay. All right. Well, then, Kimmy and Kirby, I hope you're doing all right. in their late 30s now. They lived in 40s, right?
Alright, well then,
Kimmy and Kirby, I hope you're doing alright.
Actually, I hope Kirby's doing alright.
I hope Kimmy was killed in some sort of accident soon after the party.
Kimmy was a cunt.
She pushed me off of my Kawasaki.
I've told this story before.
I had just gotten a brand new Kawasaki, and I was
wanting to ride it around, and she shoved me right off of it.
It was a tiny little four-wheeler thing
that a little child would sit on,
and you press the button,
and it had a little battery,
and he goes,
It was the little battery-powered RC cars
that everybody had.
Girls would get the Barbie car.
I had the Jeep.
The Jeep was big in the early 90s.
Kirby was astute.
He was smart. Now that's a chimp.
If you told me he knew how to read, I might
buy it.
Kimmy, there's no way you could teach that
bitch to read anything.
I was mad at her because she made
you the bitch.
Yeah, you
cracked the case on that one.
She hopped on my Kawasaki and drove away and the chimp handler was like ha ha ha and i was like this is my party that didn't happen she she got on it yeah i don't remember if she actually like
moved it away but she got left yeah she took your spot on the car your little electric car
yes she pushed me off of it my mom used to tell me the story like
oh yeah and then kimmy came over and pushed you off and you got on and i was and so i've always
been a kirby man myself my brother set me free i don't know the details of the storm too young to
remember it but i was like two outside in a bassinet and somehow the bassinet was locked
i've never seen a bassinet with a child lock or
whatever. Maybe it had a mosquito net or something, but my brother knew how to undo the lock. So he
set me free and I ran away from home at like two years old. No one knew where I was. A neighbor
was like, did you lose your child? And my mom's like, yeah, I've been looking for him. That's
kind of where the story wraps but it's part
of the woodworth lore that my brother tried to get rid of me at two years old damn and he would
have gotten away with it too it wasn't his meddling neighbors yeah my my youngest brother
must have been like four or five so i was like 12 my other brother was 11 and we were at my
grandparents house and like for the first time ever my, like both had to go do something at work.
And so they were like, now you guys just stay here and stay around the house.
You can, you know, go play in the field, ride the four wheelers, whatever you want to do.
But, you know, stick around here.
And like for some reason, my youngest brother was like, I'm going to run away.
Like I'm running away.
And I don't know.
I believe it was literally because he wanted to watch something something gay
like jj the jet plane and me and my other brother were like we're watching street sharks that's
what's gonna happen and he threw a tantrum over it and he left and me and my you know i'm 12 my
other brother's 11 we like watch him leave with his his little backpack full of slim jims which
is like all he packed and we like watched him walk
like somberly out and then like every 10 feet he'd like turn around and look like like look at
us looking at him through the mirror like he was about to cry and then turn walk a little further
and then after like maybe 10 minutes he never even left our eyesight he turns around to come
back defeated and we had locked him out of the house to be like, all right.
And then he's like begging us to come back in.
And we're like, you said you could handle the world.
We hope it goes well.
Tell us how it goes.
And he's like, Taylor, let me in.
We did let him back in, obviously, because he was probably five because i was oh my god well
yeah i did that too i was on the losing side of it though i wasn't on taylor's side and my parents
were the people mocking me like i i we were coming home from something it might have been a phillies
game on the weekend or something and i'm cranky and the whole car ride home I just wanted like attention or what but
all they would do is laugh at me like I was just really ostracized from the other three people in
my family and when I got home I was like I'm gonna run away my parents are like knock yourself out
we're all in favor of this so I uh I packed a quick bag or something and at this point it's like
8 30 at night or something but i'm young i
don't know how young six something like that and uh they're like off you go let's make our job
easier so i run away from home and i start knocking on friends families i'm getting way
further than your brother did i'm uh walking around the neighborhood asking friends if they
like want to come out and play and their parents are like no they're going to bed like it's 8 30 why are you even outside right now and uh i ran
away from home they're like good luck with that and i had to like crawl back home and just be
like yeah i couldn't make it no one else can play it's real tough out there you guys it's rough out
there you have no idea you wouldn't believe it
i've got no money i'm five years old yeah i run away like uh oh i'm sorry you ran away i was
gonna say i didn't run away but when i was like 12 or 13 i moved into the backyard for a little
while i put a tent out there and uh and then slowly but surely i I made my tent, like my bedroom basically.
Like a TV was in.
I run an extension cord out there.
I've got multiple electronics.
You're like Bobby in the doghouse in King of the Hill.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't think I had air conditioning of any kind.
I think I had a fan.
And eventually it was like, this is no good.
This is no good.
How long did you last?
I don't know.
I was like in and out of there for like a whole solid week for sure like i was sleeping out there every night for a week and i was like spending most of
the daytime out there is but it would get hot and then and that would drive me back in i had this
same story but it was it lasted way longer like for two summers i stayed in a tent in the backyard
my tent was really big like you could stand in it It might have been like an eight or a 10 person tent.
And I had an electrical cord out there.
So we had like a small television.
And I had a big box fan.
I don't know what else.
A sleeping bag, maybe an air mattress.
And I stayed out there so much.
I didn't even have to ask anymore.
And I had a friend who slept over in my tent so often.
He didn't need to ask permission from his parents anymore. It was like a given like it was his other room that he could holy shit sleep in my backyard have we not heard about this before how old are you uh well we're
25 but i must have been i must have been like 11 and 12 or 10 and 11 like that's pretty young
that's pretty crazy young to be doing that yeah it's a fun age to do that though because it's it's kind of like this is my little house this is my space
i have my chair here i have my air mattress my little tv like your own little castle i loved it
when it rained even today like if i'm napping in my truck and i'm protected from the rainfall or
nap or if i'm sleeping in a tent i like it when I'm like outside yet protected from rain.
That's just a neat vibe.
Yeah,
for sure.
I think,
uh,
it may have been the year that maybe it was Haley's comment came.
It was one of those comments it does every like 70 or 90 years.
Um,
so it was whenever that happened,
probably 90 late nineties.
Cause I remember being out there and watching,
it was one of those that just like,
it's there every night,
you know,
sort of just like barely moving.
It was really bright.
That was cool.
It is cool.
I didn't catch Aurora.
Bully Alice.
I'm messing it up,
but it was recently seen,
right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We had that big electrical storm the other day.
Did you see it at all?
Taylor,
you would have been in the best spot.
No,
I,
I forgot about it.
I had a bunch of friends over and we were hanging out. Everybody on you. I know, but I did in the other spot no i i forgot about it i had a bunch of friends over
and we were hanging out everybody on you i know but i did in the other room and then it was like
it got we were hanging out in my house me and like probably like six buddies were all there
and then someone at like midnight was like oh yeah there's some kind of celestial event tonight
and i'm like oh the thing god likes it about and then we went outside and there was nothing yeah the first night i totally missed it i like came to these messages like woody go
outside right now like kyle sent messages and some of my paramotor friends sent that message
and i'm like i was too late the next night it happened again i'm told jackie goes outside
she's like you can't see anything you can only see it through a camera, I guess.
I did see that where like I saw people posting pictures of it and it looks like majestic and magnificent.
And then some other, I guess, fact finding fun ruiner would be in the comments and be like, yeah, but that's not what it actually looked like because your camera picks up light that's refracted in a way that your eyes can't.
And I'm like, oh, so it actually didn't look that cool.
I have to believe it didn't look that cool because I missed it me too it looked cool in alabama uh atlanta was too bright um it was uh it was a big solar flare and all that energy being uh
refracted through our atmosphere and there was so much of it that it while it's normal normally you
know the northern lights lights way up there,
it was enough energy to extend down to Alabama. So that was cool.
I know there was
a solar flare event and
it was telegraph times, like maybe
1891, and it was so powerful
that it set the telegraph machines
on fire. That was kind of
the electronics of the day. But you can imagine
like, if it happened today, it would fry the whole
system. Like, all of our shit would fry.
Well, fingers
crossed on that. Hopefully that doesn't happen again.
I don't know how that works. I mean, it sounds right,
but is there more
protection in the lines than there used to be?
No. Okay. No, there's not enough.
Can't protect against something that powerful. Can't protect
against something that powerful. Everything would fry.
It would be like a
real setback for humanity.
We wouldn't be worried
about Israel, I don't
think. We'd probably be pulling
the money back home.
You don't think America would do...
The American president
would be like, in this trying... Biden would get up
there, or Trump, he'd be like, in this trying
time, we must remember to support our strongest ally
oh did we talk about civil war i think maybe we talked about it in the hangout about the
the movie i think it was pkn right oh okay never mind then yeah i just for this audience like
it don't waste your time watching the civil war movie the alex garland civil war movie
there is no civil war you follow kirsten dunst and some reporters around for the whole movie
and then you get a good firefight in the last 10 minutes and the rest of it is just people getting ptsd seeing war crimes that are just
kind of sad it is not what it's described like in all the promo images woody and the trailers
they show cityscapes full of american military like new york's burning with uh apaches flying
past um or or like atlanta's getting bombed and f-22s are flying over the top of it.
None of that happened.
Nothing even approaching that happens.
Those scenes aren't even in the movie?
Not even close.
Well, it's, again, they're like,
I don't remember them being,
yeah, there was video, I think,
of the helicopters flying.
Yeah, none of those scenes are even in the movie.
Not even close.
There's definitely images.
There's definitely lots of images. Yeah, they're riding around are even in the movie. Not even close. There's definitely images.
There's definitely lots of images.
Yeah, they're riding around in a Ford Excursion,
and they have to drive from New York to Washington, D.C., but they can't go straight because the interstate's been bombed,
so they have to go out around West Virginia and do this loop.
And it's just the drive there and then a firefight,
and it was so disappointing.
It wasn't bad. It just firefight. And it was so disappointing. It wasn't bad.
It just wasn't what it was advertised as.
It's like when I watch that.
I'm not excited about any movies right now.
I don't see a lot of advertising.
And the first advertising I missed was movies.
It was the only thing I really got value out of.
If you advertise toothbrushes or cars and trucks to me it's kind of wasted i
just wish you weren't bothering me food but movies i always want to know what's coming what do you
got yeah i like i used to watch all the movie trailers but and they've always given a lot away
but at some point they got to the point where they're giving the whole plot away if you watch
the whole trailer toward the end of the trailer you're seeing the bad guy die it's like all right well i guess they i guess none of
that other shit mattered they seem to have surrounded his evil castle okay well oh and
he killed him is he dead that's the end it's like you see the whole movie in three minutes i don't
know what they're doing uh so i don't watch as many what i will do is watch like a couple seconds just sort of get a
vibe for um you know like what what what the movie looks like or or what the or just some
semblance of what the movie's about and then i'm gonna watch this and i'll turn it off some
trailers are really good at avoiding the phenomenon that you talked about the The thing is, you don't know which until you're afterwards. You can't unsee it. Deadpool did a good job of
like, shit, I watched that trailer and all I knew
was the existence of Deadpool and Wolverine. I didn't know anything else about the movie
really. I actually haven't watched it. I haven't watched the Deadpool
trailer. I fully intend to watch the movie, so I don't see any need to watch it.
I don't want to get any sort of spoilers.
I know you didn't like Mad Max Fury Road all that much when it came out.
We watched it in theaters together.
Oh, it was fine.
Yeah, you just thought it was kind of mediocre, average at best.
And they just made the sequel to it.
No, the prequel to it, the Furiosa movie.
It's that Anna Taylor Joy girl or something like that.
The redhead from Queen's Gambit.
Who's got the triangular face.
She plays Furiosa,
who was Charlize Theron's female
warrior character from the Mad Max movie.
And it's doing real poorly.
It's the worst Memorial
Day opening since Garfield.
Does it suck?
Oh, I'm sure it's great. It's just not general audience. Yeah? Oh, I'm sure it's great.
It's just not.
Are you really general audience?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sure it's great.
I just,
I bet it's just not,
it's just not general audience is great.
So you got to remember what it is.
So the original Mad Max wasn't a gigantic blockbuster.
It was sort of a,
a niche cult film that launched Mel Gibson's career.
I've seen all three of them and they're just okay.
They're not that good.
Fury Road was great, I thought.
I really liked the visuals in that.
I liked that it was one nonstop chase scene.
I liked the fantastic nature of it.
All those characters looked so ridiculous.
And I liked the Max character.
I liked how understated he was. And I liked everything about character. I liked how understated he was.
And I liked everything about him.
I liked the devotion. I liked the culture.
You know, the warriors, the witness me,
the spray paint. That stuff got me
psyched. Like, I'm about to do something
crazy. Witness me.
Hold my beers, is basically what he's saying.
And that was really cool.
It wasn't practical.
When that guy's playing the fucking guitar that shoots fire.
And the other guy's hitting the fucking drums and he's playing the shit out of them.
Like he's so amped up playing those drums.
I should watch it again.
And that rock band is on top of like a monster truck.
And it's like gushing fire out every time he hits it out of the and
he's got like some sort of crazy human skin mask he's wearing he's like scary as fuck and he's on
a bunch of like without cgi uh because some of it's practical i think there is a car there is a
guitar he was really bungeed up there like he's bungeed up there yeah he's bouncing around he's
the thing about that movie was was it's all practical effects.
Then you learn later, oh,
practical effects was like 15%
of the effect and they really
cranked it up to 11% with CGI.
Are you guys talking about the new one?
Yes, this new one is in the prequel
with Anna Taylor-Joy or something like that.
She's playing Furiosa.
I don't know why they thought it was going to do well
because Mad Max Fury Road didn't let nobody go to gonna see it it's the worst memorial day opening since garfield it's it made
like 30 million dollars or something like that and it needed to make a lot more than that uh
i'm sure i'll enjoy it i like it a lot but i i don't think most the average moviegoer will i
don't think it's that movie and i I think a lot of them are like,
who,
who?
And they're like,
ah,
it's a Charlize Theron's character from that movie from 2016.
What?
Who?
Oh,
okay.
I don't know that or care about it.
Like,
yeah,
90% of rotten tomatoes.
The people that are going will love it,
but I just don't think a lot of people are going.
That's the thing.
Yeah.
We were talking about like childhood stuff earlier did you guys ever have a time i feel like this happened to
everyone at least once where you were like in a public place as a young child and you were like
wandering about and you like grabbed what you thought was your mom's hand in a crowd and then
you and then it just wasn't it was just some
other lady you never did that no i don't think it was that's pretty gay yeah i was a pretty i was a
pretty fucking you like skip while you swing along holding their hand yes yeah i was a very gay four
year old and i remember i was at like the fucking science center i was at the science center and i
was four tail carly just going
through puberty i had just finished puberty my voice was cracking yeah and i was i was walking
around the science center i don't know how i escaped my parents i guess i escaped my parents
a lot and i like was just holding this woman's hand for like not a brief amount of time and i
like said mom and this woman was like i'm not your mom and i look up and it's
a black lady i don't know shit even close i i well it was just like a second nature like i just was
like walking with this and so like looking back she was probably like some woman in her like early
30s who was just like what the fuck is this little kid holding my hand for? And it was maybe
the first time in my life that
my stomach
dropped in fear of
black people.
Like,
yeah, it was
like,
they start beating her to the ground
because like my
immediate thought
wasn't like, beating her to the ground because like my my immediate that white boy my immediate thought
wasn't like wasn't like oh i've i've lost my mom where she must be around here somewhere like my
thought was like you've been left you'll never see her again ever like because in a group that
large it was like oh my like i could never find like maybe 30 seconds
later my mom found me but stomach dropped i was like they've they've probably already gone home
they probably forgot about it yes they probably grabbed a different tailor
and started over my mom's probably somewhere with a little black kid yeah well no changing places yeah no idea uh i did that too
taylor but it i was a little different because i was at the grocery store and i was sitting on this
like tile floor and i don't know how my mom and this woman pulled a switcheroo on me but suddenly
it's not my mom standing next to me and i i like threaded my arm
between her legs and put my knee on i'm talking about my head on her knee and uh i was like hey
mom and she's like i'm not your mom sweetie and it wasn't my mom then you were like all right well
i'm your problem until we solve now. Now we have to solve this together, ma'am.
I wasn't a touchy-feely child.
So I definitely, I don't think I ever lost them either.
I would wander around when we go to stores.
I don't know.
I would just go off.
I would run around Home Depot hitting that button asking for assistance.
Really?
That was easy.
And I would go to the grocery store. I remember Publix had... I haven't seen
this since I was a kid, but they had these
coupon machines
next to the product.
So you'd go to the cereal aisle
and there'd be this little machine attached
to the shelf
and it would dispense coupons for
cereal. You would pull one out and it would dispense coupons for cereal you would pull one out and
it would stick another one out and you you'd like tear it off and so i'd go around just getting them
all all over the store like grabbing them um i can't believe you mentioned this because that's
like a memory i haven't had in decades and i remember really feeling like i was helping on
the grocery expedition.
Yeah.
I like going up and down every aisle and I'm being like,
Oh,
uh, you know,
Quaker oats.
I better get seven of these.
And like just taking huge amounts of them.
I thought,
I thought,
I thought of them as like a kind of currency and it was all you had to do.
Looking back,
it was just my mom trying to burn some energy of mine.
Yeah.
Go get all the fucking coupons.
Yeah.
Go get the coupons.
I go get the,
uh, the cheese samples. They'd be giving away some cheese cubes in the, in the deli. Yeah, go get all the fucking coupons. Yeah, go get the coupons. Go get the cheese samples.
They'd be giving away some cheese cubes in the
deli. And if we were at Home
Depot, I was hitting all those customer assistance
buttons. And I would run. I would run as soon
as I hit them. And I remember this black lady caught
me and she's like...
And I ran for it.
Because she laughed about it. I
appreciated that. She wasn't mad. She kind of
knew it was a game too. She was down. She's working mad. She, she kind of thought it was new. It was a game too.
She was down, you know, she's working at home Depot.
It's probably high as fuck.
My mom used to like to get me to behave better in the grocery store as a very
young kid.
Like the first stop when we went to the grocery store was the deli and fried
chicken area.
And she'd like get me a few chicken wings to eat throughout the trip and so
i'd just be like walking alongside her like eating chicken wings and that i guess placated me a
little bit chicken wings yeah you're you're just a little bit of a like a barbarian child
i told i've said before this many years ago, I was a leash kid.
Uh,
Oh my God.
I forgot about that.
That means you're so outrageous. I closed down a Macy's because I was so fucking good at hiding.
I would hear my mom and my grandma.
I'd hear my mom being like,
Taylor,
I could hear the,
I could hear the warbling of fear in her voice,
Taylor.
And then I'd hear my grandma like,
Taylor,
Taylor,
you around here. We got to get going. They're closed. And then i'd hear my grandma like taylor taylor you around here
we gotta get going they're closed and then i'd wait for like like both of them and the assistant
you know gay guy who worked in nordstrom or maces or whatever to come over there and they'd come to
look at the the circular display of clothes i had my hands on the top and not lift my feet when they peek under there I lift my feet
so I hid I hid so much one time that like they had to keep Macy's open longer for me until
eventually I came out and uh and then uh after that uh my mom like put me on a leash briefly
and she was she put me on a wrist leash i escaped that immediately she was trying to look
at clothes in white house black market i was gone i was gone i was at kb toys and then uh after that
she upgraded to like a full harness one and like similar to a dog i realized i couldn't escape that
one and i didn't want to spend time in the leash and so i stopped running away that's outrageous
yeah i don't know it's a normal
part of growing up every teen every teenager goes through that phase kyle i remember i would i was
probably like three like like three or four very i remember getting in the clothes racks like that
was fun you know those circular clothes racks like hiding in there yeah that's what it's a good time
but i definitely never hid until people screamed for me
and put out a search party or anything like that well it was a difficult situation for me because
there did come a time where i realized no one was going to be chill about it when i came out
and so then i was hiding a little harder until where were your oh because you get in trouble
when you were found yeah i'm happy to find you.
They were,
I was probably at this point I was probably like three.
And so my younger brother wouldn't have even been like,
he probably wasn't even there.
And my youngest brother wasn't born yet.
So yeah.
Yeah.
Just a,
just having a fun time.
I was just,
just exploring the world learning.
They call that the scientific method.
We talked about it
briefly but what life kyle's not impressed with everest is there anything that's cool you want
to do like big like i'll never do it but i think sailing across one of the oceans would be pretty
dope or around the world like a physical feat well just a life experience that you're not complete without? Lifelong dream of to do something to add on?
Nothing nearly as impressive as like sailing across an ocean
or climbing a mountain.
I guess the only like really intense physical stuff I'd want to do
is like stuff I look forward to.
Like I have no desire to,
yeah,
just jacking off all the time.
Jacking off on top of Everest.
You better be on lock and load.
You need to be on your best day.
I gotta be quick.
I got frostbite.
You'll never get.
Well,
it's probably on the dick still frozen to your hand.
Come out like an icicle.
Yeah, I don't know.
Water-based lube.
Even like, like I like hiking.
I like outdoorsy stuff.
I just don't, I don't do any of it with like a sense of accomplishment afterward.
It's like, it's like, oh, that was fun.
Like skiing.
Like, oh, I do that because it's a ton of fun and I love it.
But afterward, I'm not like, yeah, you conquered the mountain.
Because I didn't.
No, I want to visit the Titanic.
There's this billionaire who's got a vessel he's taken down
and he's selling seats for $100,000.
I'm thinking about...
He wants to prove it's safe.
He wants to prove it's safe.
So he's going to use a real xbox
controller yeah yeah it the fucking the new one the xbox x series x control mad cats no
control freaks all right adjustable triggers you'll be fine no mistakes all right we're gonna
be good on this he's got those those extenders so he can more accurately yeah oh is that what
those were yeah yeah i use control freaks are Oh, is that what those were? Yeah, yeah.
I use control freaks.
They're good.
Things get tight.
Be like, dude, hand that over.
My KD used to be over too sometimes.
Actually, seeing if I had to pick something,
and this doesn't even really fit because it's not an accomplishment I did.
I'd want to see big giant elephants in Africa, like big animals.
I'd want to be close enough to a hippo that I was kind of spooked
or an elephant or something like that. like seeing those animals doing their own thing
it would just be you want to go on safari yeah safari would be tight i bet it's like i bet you
do safari for less than 10 i bet you go on like a crazy safari for for eight grand i think that
would be well worth it like In one of those buses?
In one of those Land Rovers that doesn't have a top on it?
That's just got the cage?
I'd want my own guide for me. Me and whoever I'm bringing.
My brothers, my friends, girlfriend, whatever.
You want to be able to kill things too?
Or you just want to look?
No, we're not doing that.
What if he's for 50 extra?
You can RPG a fucking hippo
50 american 50 american
as if there were a backstory on how like this hippo were causing problems for the
larger group of him no no no it's a sweet hippo it's 50 bucks i'm still gonna do it
they call her
Bertha, the most gentle hippo
that can be found.
She is the only one here who has never
murdered.
You should hand feed her
iceberg lettuce
before you RPG her.
So if I shoot this thing, it'll feed a village?
Oh, no.
It's terrible to eat. eat oh it is against our religion
everywhere yeah that would be okay i'd rid the world of an evil i do that shit i always heard
about those places in vietnam you can go and you can shoot a water buffalo with an rpg for
x amount of money and shit or maybe it's cambodia yeah i think it was cambodia but no i actually like yours i
like the safari thing and seeing some animals uh i think that's i can't think of anything much
better than that that i actually would enjoy doing i would like to see the uh like wild african game
up close maybe see um like some icebergs like do one of those Alaskan or Antarctic cruises and just see like,
I don't know,
icebergs and shit.
Great ice wall.
Yeah.
The great ice wall that separates us from the spider people are overlords and
protectors.
I saw a graph that was like someone's theorizing of like,
you know,
the,
the earth and then the ice wall.
And then they even like added other continents outside of it.
And all I shit up.
They just made it up.
And like I was like, I was looking at it and all I could think about was like, if this were like a if this were the playable map in like Skyrim, that would be sweet.
Because, you know, how usually you play a game like GTA five, you swim out too far and like a shark eats you or something.
Like you can't actually go.
But if you're playing Skyrim
and you could just keep swimming through that sea
and then you arrive at a brand new DLC area,
but it's not DLC, it's free,
and you show up, that would be sick.
Minecraft does that.
I just can't.
I was born at the wrong time to get really into Minecraft.
If I were 10 years
younger, I probably would have been
all about it.
Yeah, I despise it.
I don't have a strong opinion.
I can see where you're coming from,
but it was a good game too.
Oh, I mean, it must be.
I think it's the best-selling PC game
ever.
I would guess that, yeah.
Yeah, probably so. I'm looking forward to this arena
breakout game eating tarkov's lunch i i i'm really psyched for it when they've released their full
game it's still in this little limited data where the only way you can get in is if you've got a key
and there's probably i think it's 150 000 of us playing it or something like that maybe they gave
away that many keys roughly this game's gonna have half a million us playing it or something like that. Maybe they gave away that many keys roughly. This game's going to have half a million people playing it easily.
It's going to be a really, really big game.
And I can't wait for Tarkov to just lose.
I think it's because you don't like Nikita.
No, I've always liked Nikita.
I didn't like the Unheard Edition thing
because
I felt like
it wasn't like
the relationship between the customer
and the
Tarkov developer ownership
or whatever had always been on even footing
anyway. It always felt like they owed us.
It's like, yeah, you owe me, but
it's like someone who owes you money,
like a buddy owes you money, and then they're shitty to you.
It's like, dude, did you forget?
You owe me money.
You owe me content.
I gave you $150 years ago, and I've been waiting on that content.
You're late on it, but I don't say anything because I like you,
and now you're saying you want $100 more,
and then that quote about we're going to see who the true believers are now.
It's like, motherfucker, do you know how long I've been playing this?
And I'm not even an old school player.
There's people who've been playing three, four years longer than me that feel the same way.
And then Landmark on his stream is going through and reading and how the phraseology about how this this is dlc now but you know it
what we said before doesn't count he's on their website showing what the old package we all bought
what said the verbiage on it and it says all future dlc will be free and then the next day
they delete that line they delete they they watchedmark stream and critique the unheard edition
and took one of his talking points away by going back retroactively
and deleting it off the description of the package that they had already sold.
And then when they were called out on it, they said, no, we didn't.
It's like, motherfucker, here's the video.
Here it is yesterday.
Here it is today.
If not you, then you've got a security problem.
There are hackers attacking you.
Are you going to fix it?
Because clearly someone has...
Oh, it was all...
That's my issue.
The unheard of addition.
It's so dishonest.
I don't like what they did,
but if it was the only thing they had done
and I'd always loved them,
I probably could have gotten over it.
Maybe even give them another $100.
Maybe.
But my issue is like,
we waited years and
years and years for the new content to drop for what they said the game was going to be
to be that it still isn't and i'm like oh you just i don't know i just felt like they never
worked very hard the whole time and then when they wanted more money to do their jobs it was that
i like you i'm mad what they did is they took our money
and they gambled it on a proposed esports game,
the arena version of Tarkov,
and it flopped.
It failed and nobody is playing it.
I bet there's nobody on there playing in those servers.
And they spent all that money developing it,
promoting it, putting it on cons,
and they wanted it to be an
esports game. They had this idea for a
future where they're doing these huge
events and stuff, and
all their money just went poof.
And now they're sitting there with
their dick in their hand and not enough funding
to keep the company going, probably. Or at least
maybe not. They could see the
end of the road if they don't earn
more, and they start see the the end of the road if they don't earn more and they start
milking the fan base for like they like they did so yeah i hope this chinese copycat game
eats their fucking lunch i love that it's free to play as long as they don't do their monetization
in a shitty or dishonest kind of way over there as long as they're like hey it's a knife skin
if you want it it's five dollars get. Get it or not. Or if they
just sell coin at a decent price with
okay monetary leveling
in the game, those things will be great.
It'll be a huge game.
It'll have half a million players on it.
And the programmers are bad at
Battlestate games. That's Escape from Tarkov.
We probably should change topics soon. But the programmers
are bad. That's why they have
huge hacker issues. They think it's the flea market or the real life training no dude it's because your
game is easy to hack there's too much on the client side your audio is awful why well your
programmers are actually not that good at this job russians like name all the other great russian
gaming studios there's whoever fucking made tetris in the 1910s and escaped from tarkov
russians made tetris it's that post-apocalyptic russian game but that's the only one i can think
of and um but but i i get in america and you're doing a game studio you're hiring the guys from
call of duty from gears of war from uh grand theft auto you know like there is talent in america who walks into it and
says no no you can't do that the hackers will have a fucking field day with this concept you
need to do it this way instead but you do that same thing in russia and they don't know yeah
it gives me old school vibes of pub g and how much fun that was to play with your friends
and and and run around and it kind of looks and plays like pub g but with all that tarkov shit
and without any of the pain you just click but with all that Tarkov shit and without any
of the pain you just click a couple buttons and you're
playing you get into a game in 30 seconds
Taylor
what was the biggest mistake you made as a teenager
as a teenager
the
reversing of the circumcision right
the reverse stealing that other
guy's foreskin and trying to
jerry-rig it onto my penis.
I had to spend a little bit of time in an asylum.
It just looked like a hoodie.
It just didn't look good.
Joey did that in an episode of Friends.
He was going out for a role for a guy that was not
circumcised.
There's not a Friends where he steals
someone's foreskin. There's no way.
He creates his own actually out of lunch meats.
And he gets the role.
I do remember that now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He gets the role and then his foreskin falls off in the middle of the audition or at the end of the audition after he's gotten the role.
Well, that's good.
You know what?
It's fine.
Like follows his foreskin, look forward with their heads.
It's great.
I don't know.
As far as big mistakes as a teenager,
I'd probably say not pursuing hockey in college.
I should have done that.
But then I know if I transported back into my 18-year-old self, I would still be like, yeah, I'm not having fun being goalie.
I don't want to go to an even more stressful place and have more people watching me and potentially making mistakes.
And so it probably would have been better.
And it would be cool memories now.
Like being an athlete in college would have been neat.
Swimming wasn't fun either. I enjoyed being on a team. I enjoyed a built-in friend group that had
a lot in common with me, but swimming is brutal. I mean, dude, take out the swimming. Just spend a
few hours a day with your face in the water, looking at the black line on the bottom of the
pool and tell me how much you enjoyed that. Yeah, it doesn't sound fun.
It's worse than prison you know but
add the exercise on top of it and now you're doing a sport where your face is in the water
like this is torture the cia could get people to answer questions by putting them on a swim team
but but i really have questions and it's like oh yeah we'll just see how many people are calling you gay. You'll get the answer.
Do I have to wear this fucking tiny swimsuit?
Shave too, Ahmed.
That's going to take a long time.
But I really like to have it a built-in friend group.
And the college even put swimmers together in the same room.
So my roommates were strangers to me, but they're on the swim team now.
So we all have this going.
And yeah, so the built-in click, I really like that a lot.
But the sport is torture.
All the mistakes I can think of aren't even like big ones.
It's just like mindset changes I would have differently now
with the perspective I now have of being older.
It'd be like, man, I would have been so much cooler in high school.
If I actually had more like the,
who gives a shit attitude,
everyone tried to act,
to pretend to have,
but like actually have it as like a,
yeah,
you guys realize none of this really matters,
right?
Like just pass your class.
Don't be a retard.
But like,
you know,
who cares?
Like I,
I could have been, I could have been so much who care like i that i could have been i could
have been so much cooler in high school is what i'm saying i could have been cooler in high school
uh probably i'm not that cool now but i could have been cooler than i was that's for sure
um i was even worse at 16 uh what i could have been is a much better student i like it i would i probably worked harder doing poorly
in classes just all the like scurrying and last night studying than a more disciplined student
with better grades would have to work like i yeah i could have done even better with less effort
but then again like kind of being a fuck up and making me work so hard through my twenties,
going to night school and stuff turned out to be a good experience for me.
Yeah.
I remember like judging people in high,
cause I was always a pretty good student and not that like I spent a ton of
time on it,
but like it just,
it was high school.
It wasn't that hard.
And I remember like seeing the,
like the quote unquote cool kids sometimes like being obstinate in how bad they were
at school where they'd like brag and be like oh i totally flunked you know miss stevenson's history
exam and like them i'd hear like them and they're they're the cool kid buddies laughing and like i
even even at that age at like 15 or whatever i, I'm like, do you not realize how embarrassing this is?
Like, this isn't hard.
Like, you have to try to do poorly in this English grammar class.
Like, the fact you got something wrong on a spelling test that's an easy word.
There are lots of people getting things wrong in spelling tests.
Come on, it's reliquary.
Figure it out.
It's phonetic. wrong in spelling test come on it's reliquary figure it out it's fanatic and so it's like i remember thinking that even at the time like what like what's wrong with you
like nate like you're uh you're sucking i'm trying to think of one of the kids in my class
when you said you're gonna be stupid proud of doing badly it's cool smart nate i'm like oh no no nathan that guy that guy vibes rookie bad grader
to me like if you're a serial bad grader you hide that shit like you don't tell everybody like i
remember i forget my exact class rank but these numbers are going to be close. Like if there were 323 kids, I was like 319 or something like that.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
People were dropping out of high school.
And I'm like, so this helps me, right?
That guy was like 310.
He sees no future here.
You're hanging on.
Right?
I remember my guidance counselor was like, no this doesn't help you maybe something in the trade son uh yeah so people didn't know i got the kind of grades i
got like i i kept it on the down low and if you had heard me speak even in high school i didn't sound all like uneducated or
ghetto or anything so uh so people didn't know but i knew yeah that makes sense i know there
were people who like kept their bad grades under wraps but of course i didn't know because they
kept it under wraps i only would see the kids who were like oh i totally going to flunk this history class. And it's like, it's American history.
It's the same thing we learned years ago in the previous American history class.
Like, what year?
Like, 1776 level questions.
Like, this is not tough.
It should be an automatic C, and then you just work from there.
Right? see and then you just work from there right like if you totally do badly in history and don't pay
any attention to the new material you should have walked in with 70 of that knowledge yeah
there were like i don't think there are any classes in high school i did bad at like just
none of them were that challenging in college there were a couple but that was a hundred percent
due to my own laziness and not wanting to put time in
it's like i could have just fucking learned italian i spent more effort cheating in italian
than if i had just learned to speak italian and then now and then i'd be able to speak italian
do you know how many times i would come up that'd be necessary in this job you could do it yeah i
could do it in this job and there's just talk Italian gibberish here. Nobody will know. Oh my God.
You're proving them right.
Mario and Luigi.
Oh, I'm in Naples. Close your eyes, Woody.
I'm there.
All those Italians.
Mamma mia.
You know that classic Italian saying?
Wahoo! you know that classic italian saying wahoo I can't think of any specific missteps
or mistakes you know like other than the ones
that you would make every single day as a
stupid fucking 15 year old
but definitely trying harder at school
just for the you know just why not
that like um because i definitely dicked around way too much but i don't know i mean there are
there are things i would do different because i know the future right like you know you know
there's tons of that shit some investments i'd make sure you know you want to be like making
as much money as you can until bitcoin becomes a thing yeah there's something called bitcoin
that's coming down the pike. Don't go to college.
I go a little farther back.
I'm like, you want to hold IBM
and then you get into Microsoft and then you get into
Cisco and then get the fuck
out while dot com happens. Just take a breath
there. Get into Apple
and Bitcoin. Then into NVIDIA.
Here's a window for
Tesla.
Also, follow Hillary Clinton during the early 2000s. Just whatever. yeah and then here's a window for tesla and yeah and also following follow hillary clinton during
during the early 2000s just whatever she does or whatever she does cattle is there a thing to be
done here to copy these politicians trades like i know that you can mirror pelosi's yeah um
portfolio but do you just get the information six months late and it's not good?
I don't know. I've heard people
talk about that online, but I never
read into it. Is there
a fund that is mirroring
Pelosi? Because I'd want
to be on board. She did
lose money, I know,
not that long ago. There was a bad one
a year ago. Her and
Marjorie Taylor Greene is another one
that's doing really well in the stock market.
Oh, well, she's so smart.
I mean, you'd figure.
Me too.
I mean, it could be that she's dumb
and she has one area where she's like...
Or someone could be advising her.
And actually, I'm told she's not as dumb
as she sounds on camera. That behind it,'t believe you like a fox and this is all calculated
i don't believe it i can look in that woman's face and i can see that that she's a she's a moop
um did you did you see that that interaction she had taylor the other day with the black lady
she says something to the black lady like i think you misread that maybe your big fake
eyelashes are getting in the way of your vision and this is like on the floor and the black there
are rules against insulting each other yeah and so there's this big kerfuffle where like
you know like the chair is trying to decide whether these remarks are blah blah blah and
he's reminding people you got the blah blah blah and the black lady comes back with okay so i understand that chair but would it be out of order if someone were to mention someone's
bleach blonde bad built butch body and this guy goes what now
clap clap clap of a gavel somewhere and people are going oh shit
and everybody's one they shouldn't There should not be anti-bullying
legislation.
They should have to, you know,
get in the fucking dirt.
Do it the British way.
Yeah, the British will be like,
I say, that's an interesting financial policy
from an avowed pedophile.
They'll be like,
I say, it wasn't your grandfather
or Nazi collaborator. I'm just
speaking openly here.
That is what we're doing, isn't it?
Take off your wig.
She sells t-shirts that say
Bleach Blonde, Bad
Butch Body. I messed it up.
Bleach Blonde,
Bad Built Butch Body.
Yeah, there's t-shirts you can buy.
She trademarked that shit right away.
I like the little bit of alliteration.
Or assonance.
It's a tongue twister.
I was shocked she got it out so smoothly.
And she did have some big old fake eyelashes.
She's a pretty good speaker.
Yeah, that's kind of what she does for a living.
But it was funny to see
the old white guys be like,
What? What? What? What?
What now?
They're like the white guys in the beginning of
late 90s rap videos.
They're like, hold on, what's going on here?
Literally.
Literally that. Because you know you'd have
to sit there for two or three
minutes explaining what just happened
to one of these old men who run our
country. And Marjorie Taylor Greene
acted like it didn't get to her.
Then on Instagram, she's posting touched-up bikini pics
like two days later.
Nice.
All that tends to be good-looking in that room
is like, don't be old or fat.
And you're like, could you imagine
the physical confidence you'd have
hanging out with our federal elected officials?
As long as Obama doesn't show up.
You would be the bell of the ball.
Everyone would be like, look at this guy.
He's got visible abs.
He's got nice shoulders.
I don't try to pump up my own tires,
but amongst the other congressmen, I like me.
Oh, yeah.
Paul Ryan was an aberration.
He's a pretty ripped dude.
I wonder if that guy that doesn't have any
fucking legs is strong. He kind of looks like
he works out.
He has big arms, if I recall.
Madison Cawthorn?
Cawthon?
I don't think that's who Kyle's talking about.
You're talking about the iPad guy?
No.
Madison Cawthorn is a wheelchair guy from
North Carolina
and he's got voted out.
What a loser. Was he jacked?
He was handsome
but not jacked. Okay, who are you
talking about then, Kyle?
The other day he had blades.
We talked about the Blade Runner the other day.
Yeah.
I don't know what party he's in
or anything about him, but I like
staying next to
John Fetterman as much as I could.
No, that dude's a fucking ogre.
He's like seven feet tall. You don't want to stand next to him.
I want to stand. I want to be right next
to Chris Christie.
Right next to him. In front of him.
I hang out with him. That's the only way
I would join the
Senate. He's so sweaty.
Right next to Christie. That's a man who never leaves the house without a the Senate. He's so sweaty.
That's a man who never leaves the house without a sweat towel.
He's always got that towel
boxers have around their neck.
Somehow he hoodwinked New Jersey multiple
times. They're like,
Governor Christie, what are we going to do
about the salted meat shortage?
And he's like,
I don't know.
But it's a problem.
I think it's all.
And he's saying that all the
crabs in the bay are being eaten.
America's raising it this time.
Jersey's got a lot of Republican governors. more than you'd guess for such a blue state i think chris christie whitman and there's others i'm lost he's been using
campaign funds to buy blue shell crap yeah we look at chris christie's uh
investment portfolios and it's like red lobster little debbie's he's got his retirement in entomans
because he's fat he's a big boy um and he hasn't gotten any skinnier i thought they were going to
lock him up for a while he had that whole bridge gate thing um and he seems like a corrupt he seems
pretty corrupt if they lock trump up i want him to be like i've been doing this a long time i've been thinking a long time and i'm actually a lady
i'm a woman put me in there with the ladies me and stormy we can share a cell it won't be our
first time folks and then he can he can get in is the gag order on him uh over now like like can he
say what he wants i don't know for sure.
Okay. You would hope so
since the trial is over.
Well, the gag order was to stop him from
intimidating jurors. It wasn't like
he was that restricted. He can still talk about
the case, the judge,
the attorneys.
It was just
the juror stuff. He really wanted to attack
the jurors. No, the jurors and the witnesses.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
Yeah.
And he really wanted to attack the witnesses and sort of like, you know, put his version of the truth out there in the public air to smash everyone who was testifying against him.
But I guess you can't talk about jurors or witnesses.
Is that allowed?
Like, aren't you allowed to call into question witnesses who are.
Not on Twitter.
Well, you're I mean, his attorneys were allowed to call into question witnesses who are on Twitter?
Well, you're I mean, his attorneys were allowed to cross examine them, but he wanted to go in front of the cameras and say nasty things about the jury or the witnesses.
But that puts them in danger when you're Trump doing it.
But they told him if he said those things, they put him in prison.
Ah, yes. those things they put him in prison ah yes well he did do it like 20 times and he got found guilty of 11 counts of uh contempt and he got 11 one thousand dollar fines that's so funny i read that
um so the nba had some kind of fine for you they have a specification for the color on the sneakers
it's got to be like i don't know 60 70 white and the rest can only be
this color or that color there's a couple things that and if you if you broke that rule it was like
five thousand dollar fine a game and what are there 84 games or something two like 82 okay so
so when jordan came out with his first sneaker they're like red and black and white maybe but
mostly red and black and so they just paid mostly red and black. They just paid $5,000 a game
and made $50
million selling sneakers.
I love that idea. Just prepay.
Yeah, like $450,000
or something like that of
$5,000 fines.
Well worth it. Of course, yeah.
He's a billionaire, I'm pretty sure. He might
be a multi-billionaire.
Yeah.
Is he the only one? LeBron James is a billionaire, I'm pretty sure. He might be a multi-billionaire. Yeah. Yeah.
Is he the only one?
LeBron James is a billionaire.
Oh, LeBron James. Okay.
What about Shaq?
Shaq's got to be killing it, right?
Dude, he's never seen a product you won't advocate for. No, come on. You've heard him talk about it.
He only advertises for products that he uses, he says.
No, he's only he says. The internet
says upwards of half a billion,
which is pretty good.
Call the general now.
Call the general.
The only person I trust
with my $30 million worth of cars
is this little cartoon man who gives
cut-rate insurance to lower-
I saw an argument between
charles barkley and shaquille o'neal that was pretty funny and i forget what the details were
about but charles says one thing and shack responds and charles is like hey hey you get
the bass out of your voice when you're talking to me and shack is like my voice comes with bass
yeah all right that tracks you know now that i'm thinking about the general kyle
wasn't the tagline you know come to the general and save some time 1-800 general now
yeah but i wouldn't pick an insurance company based on how much time I save.
It's literally setting it up.
I think their whole thing is like bare minimum coverage.
Cheap, bare minimum coverage.
I think that's their thing.
Insurance is a fool's errand.
That's why you should get the general.
That's what I do on my motorcycle.
You just need to get legal, you know?
Yeah, same.
I cover myself getting sued by a lot but damage to my bike
the whole thing's worth like five grand yeah it's gone there's no reason to get anything
but liability that's what i do yeah i haven't played in a while i saw that video i saw a video
of a guy getting getting twisted in half at the torso a few months ago. That was, yeah, that's pretty rough.
Wow.
A motorcycle guy got killed horrifically.
Yeah.
I couldn't believe it.
I thought,
I thought you were safe on those things.
You know,
I thought,
you know, Hey,
you're faster than everyone.
You're so safe.
Yeah.
You're one,
you're one 16 year old TikToker away from breathing your last on the
pavement.
You're a 700 pounds moving 150. I'm good. Ow last on the pavement. You're 700 pounds moving 150.
I'm good.
Owl in the air.
Like, everything kills you on a bike.
Yeah, you lose to birds.
Well, the bird loses as well, but, you know.
Yeah, it's a tie.
It's a tie.
Oh, did we talk about poor fucking Mike Tyson in the wheelchair?
We did.
We talked about it during PKN.
He's going to lose that fight, isn't he?
I've known he... Yes.
Kyle's been consistent.
Dude, you're going to make $100 on Tyson getting beat up.
You're going to make $100 on Trump becoming king.
You're going to make
$100 on some UFC thing
you have. You're on a hot streak.
I'm always on a hot streak. You're my Nancy Pelosi.
I'm going to put my money where your whims go ago you should follow his hockey picks because he does better so
now yeah yeah i can i'm i'm kind of a aficionado when it comes to betting you know not for myself
so much but if you follow my trends you'll do well speculative betting that's it that's it
i'm a theoretical speculative better
the safest kind of gambler to be like imagining uh considering betting that's that's my bag
uh i i really want to bet on dustin poirier to be islam makachev isn't he the heavy one
nah so these are 155 pounders the thing is islam makachev. Isn't he the heavy one? Nah. So these are 155 pounders.
The thing is,
Islam Makachev is like
the second coming
of Khabib Nurmagomedov.
He's just a bad motherfucker
who doesn't lose.
And he's only looked human
maybe once or twice
for a few seconds at a time.
And he's fighting Dustin Poirier,
who's like fucking purebred
American white dude champion
from the South
and just an all-around really good man.
And this is his last time at the bat.
He's top five in the world.
If he loses this, he'd still be top five in the world,
but he's not going to climb the ladder to the top again.
That's kind of all he cares about now because I think he's got decent money stuck away.
He's turning down McGregor fights.
McGregor desperately wants to fight.
He beat McGregor two times out of three.
Conor's like, try me again.
I want more.
He's like, no.
I've already proved my point with you.
Yeah.
I really hope he wins that fight.
It would make up for some of the rough stuff that's happened to my UFC fighters over the last year or so.
Most of my favorite fighters have had...
I'll put $10 on the other guy who's obviously going to win if you want that bet.
No, I don't think I want to.
See, I'll do the opposite, if anything.
I'll bet on Islam to win.
That way, if Poirier wins, I'm happy.
You win financially or emotionally?
Yeah, yeah.
I win either way.
I'm either going to get $10 or I'm going to be happy with the outcome.
One of those will happen.
So I usually bet against my guy.
That's just hedging my bet, I suppose, emotionally.
But I'm looking forward to the McGregor fight, too.
I don't know how to call that one.
I think they've been out for so long, it's hard to say.
I don't know.
McGregor's getting drunk at the clubs.
Sure is.
And I bet Chandler's training. Yeah. like i don't know mcgregor's getting drunk at the clubs sure is and i've been training yeah i
we've never seen this version of mcgregor at all right he suddenly built like an action hero from
roadhouse titanium leg titanium leg um but i think he's not who he used to be right speed kills
right precision beats power isn't that mcgregor's line now he's not who he used to be, right? Speed kills, right?
Precision beats power.
Isn't that McGregor's line?
Now he's going to the other side.
Yeah, I don't know if he's the guy anymore.
I don't know if he has been for a long time.
His last good win was eight years ago.
You know how long ago that is in fighter terms?
It's so long ago.
Yeah.
I think there's money to be made in betting against McGregor now.
Taylor, in a recent women's mixed martial arts fight in the UFC,
there was a TKO by titty punch.
You only get one of those and they ended it?
No, no, no.
The other way around.
This chick got punched in the titty so hard she quit.
Oh, well, that seems like part of the the sport is she okay like i don't know what
her titty punch is dangerous like nah it's just a big old ball of fat on there but it hurt
apparently real bad it's fun she gets punched in her left my right titty and uh and she meets
goes and like curls up and holds her titty and the other chick is such a terrible athlete
that she's keep in mind this person is holding their titty. And the other chick is such a terrible athlete that she's... Keep in mind, this person
is holding their titty,
turned to the side away from their opponent
and the opponent is like, miss, miss,
miss, miss.
And the ref is like, oh, this is over.
And it's like, why? She can't even hit her.
It's a stationary target
who's unaware.
But yeah, her holding her titty and being like,
oh, no, was...
That's a new one for me. So the one who was
punched, like forfeited
and lost? Yeah.
She was in so much pain, she was
stopped. She curled up and
held her titty. That's not good.
That's not a good face for
the toughness of female fighters.
Getting popped in the titty once
and they give up? I don't like that.
I don't even know if titty strikes are legal.
I genuinely don't.
They should be. You can punch a dude
in his titty.
You sure can.
And they're not hitting as hard as the dudes.
Not by a long shot.
But they are women.
They are more susceptible
to getting beat up are they
i guess so they're they're weaker and smaller you ever beat up a woman
no well you know you can yeah all the time because i'm a man the same way i don't have
to practice math to know i could walk into any woman's college and then be the professor.
It's like this is all theoretical.
Until you really roughhouse a lady,
I don't want to hear it.
Do you know the fighter's name, Kyle?
I'm trying to find this boob punch.
I don't know the name. It was
either the last event or the one before.
It's been this month.
It was this month.
I saw the gif of it today, probably on
one of the major
subreddits. I haven't watched the whole
thing yet, but this has to be it.
MMA casuals on Twitter.
Yeah, this is it.
It's Vidal versus
Gato.
Yeah, she's like holding her...
See what I mean? She turns to turns aside and the chick comes in and misses
three punches. She almost
waited a second after she got
popped in the titty to turn away
and go, ooh.
You know how pain is, though.
It doesn't immediately hurt.
It just sort of...
Oh, you got a great screenshot. I didn't realize it.
I bet her camp was not happy about it.
It didn't look like much of a punch.
Oh, yeah.
You see in the left frame.
That's it.
That's it.
That's her.
The right frame is after the fact, which is already turned away.
Yeah.
That's when she's missing the other punches.
She's missing.
Look where that right landed.
She went for the titty again, I guess.
Yeah. Why stop? Why stop? she went for the titty again i guess yeah why stop why stop yeah it sort of skims off the titty like down and to uh
my god you know what this might be like that mcdonald's coffee incident where you laugh
and you're like how much and then you see your titty and the nipples ripped off or something
right i hope not i hope her titty's okay like there ripped off or something. I hope not. I hope her titties. Okay.
Like,
like there's like a,
there's like exposed flesh, like her,
her titty ruptured or something.
It just pops.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just pop any,
like a,
like a blown out tires popped it.
I don't,
I've been watching.
Is it thought fights?
What is this subreddit?
Oh yeah.
Um,
it's,
um,
what? Thunder thoughts. Thunder thoughts. I's um what thunder thoughts thunder thoughts i'm
addicted to thunder thoughts i've i just go to all time but it is just fight after fight and you
you can't call a winner sometimes these scrappy smaller girls are beating the big thunder girls
and then sometimes it goes the other way thunder Thunder Thoughts is a two thumbs up.
I'd be a great girl fighter.
I know all the moves.
I know all the moves. You get that hair
and you slam their head into the ground
and they're done. So many of these
girls, they can't hit hard. I'm like, switch to
elbows, right? You've got the full position. You're in
full mount and you're raining down
ineffective hammer punches.
Dude, drop elbows on a nose. You'll damage
her. I'm telling you,
every time I see a chick slam another chick's head
into the ground over and over, they go out like a light.
That's a good move.
I bet they got thinner skulls than us.
Yeah, that makes sense. They have to, right?
Yeah. Well, it needs to protect
a smaller brain. Yeah.
That Kazakhstani scientist
proved it. The doctor
Yamona.
Remember
when Borat went before that women's group
and said that? It hasn't been
proven. The woman have a smaller brain.
That is not
true. Dr. Kamosovich
at the government
institute, he approved it.
He approved it. He approve it.
It is not true.
It has to be true, though.
It is true.
Because bigger people have bigger
brains, right? I'm not saying they're smarter.
They might be. I don't know.
In adulthood,
male brains are on average
10-15% larger than female brains.
I think what it was, he may have said that women have the same size brain as a cat or something.
He said something wild.
I like that.
I don't see what you're taking umbrage with so far.
They should be birds.
They should be bird brains.
It's interesting.
And male brains remain larger even after body height is adjusted for.
I would like to see.
I want to see if a genius
if there's any is there any correlation between brain size and and brain power like if you if you
looked at a genius's brain and a dotard's brain is there any is there any like visible difference
definitely a correlation across the animal kingdom right like there's no doubt that if i grab
something with a rat-sized brain it's not going to be smart as something with a dolphin-sized brain
that's not necessarily true though you know because you've got perfect you it's not but
there is a correlation like like some birds are so smart and then like like birds feel smarter
than cows that have that big giant brain i don't know cows have big giant brains i mean as
big as ours right fucking i've seen a cow's head explode before there's a lot of stuff in there i
believe you i believe you yeah i mean clearly there's a connection between the size of the
brain and how intelligent the animal is like maybe not the hardest and fastest you know how the bell
curve works with women's
intelligence though that the smartest individuals are women despite having the smallest of brains
the men are the smartest and the dumbest it's a it's a it's a less peaked bell curve for male intelligence women tend to cluster
more but the most smart person is a woman oh maybe i thought it was that dude uh who like
bartender i don't mean literally i just mean like statistically it would be most likely right because
the woman's bell curve goes taller than the man's bell curve despite not being as no because the narrow height is not the the it is a narrow peak in the middle of the bell curve
which means that there are more women clustered at average whereas men are flat so we have more men
we're not as clustered we have a more equal not, but more equal representation of low, middle, and high.
I thought that the female peak was...
I thought that in addition to all that, the
female peak was higher, as in
while there are
fewer females that are smarter than men,
the ones that are
are smarter than men.
No, it's the opposite of that.
If you meet an actual No, it's the opposite of that. If you meet
an actual genius,
it's weird.
Those dirty, lying fucking women, then.
They're not smart.
They're trying to lie to you.
They can't even interpret data correctly.
If you meet someone who's a genuine
dullard, like an actual
idiot, they're more
likely to be a man than a woman.
Similarly, if you meet an actual bona fide genius idiot they're likely they're more likely to be a man than a woman similarly if you meet like an actual bona fide genius they're much more likely to be a man than a woman speaking of
lady geniuses this is going to be boring to you but i was watching this thing about they were
trying to send a probe to mercury because they'd only ever sent two and both of them just did these
quick flybys and what you want is to get the thing to go around and around Mercury so you can test and photo and map and stuff.
But it has to be going so goddamn fast when it gets there
that decelerating is a problem
because they're traveling in toward the sun,
and it's so far away.
So they didn't know what to do,
and this Chinese lady, or her name was Chinese at NASA,
came up with this.
Her name's like Pung Ting Tao, came up with this. It certainly was like a Punting towel came up with this idea that where you
wouldn't just go straight for Mercury.
You would go around the sun and back to earth and like this huge pattern or
that,
that took seven years from 2004 to 2011 where it went around multiple planets
and using each of them to slow itself a little bit
so that when it finally got to Mercury
it would be slow enough to
go into an orbit
and I was fascinated by
her coming up with that idea
and how complex it is. You should have just shot it a little
slower.
My dumbass idea is to approach it
while it's going away from you right because it's the
relative velocity of the whatever the missile to the to the planet that matters right so we just
catch the planet when it's coming away from us and you know it would suck as if like they launch
that and three days later you know xi jin pao comes up and he's like, I come up with even better idea. Not take seven years.
It take two months.
And they're like, this is the chart we were talking about.
I don't know if Zach is able to pull it up on the screen, but it shows how if it's accurate, who knows?
I mean, it's a picture, so it's accurate.
It's on the Internet.
But it women are clustered in the center of the IQ range.
So they're highly represented in average, but poorly represented on the extremes of dumb and smart.
Whereas men are less represented in the average and more represented on the extremes.
That's what we were talking about.
Makes sense.
You got all the male inventors and all the male ditch diggers.
You got the the male inventors and all the male ditch diggers.
You got the circle of life as they call it.
I don't think that's what the circle of life is.
And all those great mothers.
And all the wonderful mothers.
All the very average mothers.
It's good to moderate mothers.
Yeah.
I don't know.
What's your favorite lady invention?
What do you think, Sue?
You'd have to give me a Google search amount of time to think about that.
Probably nagging.
I don't know.
What's a good...
Do women invent?
I don't know any lady inventions, I'm going to be honest. I bet there's some good ones, but I don't know. What's a good, do women invent? I don't know any lady inventions.
I'm going to be honest.
I bet there's some good ones,
but I don't know of any of them.
Oh,
wait,
wait.
Didn't a woman invent or discover penicillin?
Isn't that a real?
No,
no,
that's a man.
Mary,
Mary Curie.
That's who I'm.
Did the radiation stuff.
She was,
she was fucking,
she was fucking around with uranium and plutonium
or cesium or something
and gave herself cancer.
I don't think she was an inventor. I think she was a scientist, right?
She was, yeah. But I'm sure she
made some discoveries
that were important for nuclear science.
You know who's
always in the inventor conversation?
Even though I don't even know how
impressive it is, is Eli Whitney
with his cotton gin.
It's neat, but someone else would have
come up with it. Dude, the cotton gin gets
so much mileage in elementary schools.
It's like revolutionizing. It really does. What was that about?
Is that why we spent six months learning
about copy machines? What the hell?
Cotton gin.
Big Eli is out there propagating to us all of these
what else you know what you know what else got way too much attention fucking peanut butter
tax right it made slavery obsolete that was the point you know what uh peanut butter damn you eli
yeah they eli whitney he got too much attention. And then George Washington and Harvard, they didn't
tell us in school that
he didn't invent peanut butter.
They kept it a secret.
They told us he did.
He invented a bunch of other peanut-related stuff,
but not butter.
He didn't think to mash it up
and put sugar in it.
He was making wall insulation and shit over
there when some white dude was like,
you know, it's pretty good if you mix it with oil.
What the fuck? You made socks?
What the fuck?
You know, something tells me, Mr. Carver,
no one's going to be using your
peanut husk tampons.
Have one of these Ritz, dude.
Dude, I'm putting shit on burgers now.
It's fantastic.
He's using his earplugs?
What's wrong with you?
You're just making shit up.
I want to see what else.
They made that cotton gin seem like it was very important,
and I didn't remember why,
but I guess it did make slavery obsolete.
Dude.
If you went back and you killed him,
I wonder how that would change U.S. history.
That'd be a fun little what-if novel
where slavery has to
continue. The North never has an issue
or takes issue with slavery because you need
the manpower.
Dude, I am upset about
his list of things that he invented.
I don't see peanut butter on here, like
you said. The number one invention
that this guy came up with is salted
peanuts.
What?
That's more of a discovery.
Okay, so he's the one that ever...
He was just totally made up.
The guy, like all his stuff was nonsense.
Dude, I've invented shit drunk late at night
in my sparsely stocked kitchen
if this is the kind of shit we're counting.
They are not giving him credit for the salted peanut.
Apparently.
No one gets credit for that. No one gets that. Woody just said someone him credit for the salted peanut. No one gets credit for that.
No one gets that.
Someone got credit for it.
And he wouldn't lie to us.
Quick, what's the number one item on this list?
Let's see.
Salted peanuts.
Well, the number two, it says peanut butter.
I don't know how you missed that.
It was all the way down to number two. God damn it. I don't know how you missed that. It was all the way down to number two.
God damn it.
I don't know why it says that.
Miso?
Chocolate coated peanuts?
Chili?
Dude, he just pulled a Bubba Gump on this.
Salted peanuts.
Mock duck.
Mock duck.
Some of the other ones are.
He invented breakfast food.
Breakfast food number two.
Breakfast food number three.
Breakfast food number four and five.
Yeah, but who can forget the all-American staple,
cheese tutti frutti.
I don't know what that is.
That's down there.
Oh, now look at this.
This guy invented cocoa,
which is a
milk as well, which is a product
that you can purchase raw.
He did not admit Worcestershire
sauce.
Yeah.
He did not invent. What the fuck
website is this? This is
nonsense.
He invented vinegar.
Wait, look at the bottom bottom it says he invented plain pickles
no he did not he did not invent cheese sandwiches plain pickles cocoa bar candy
what is this this is just lies about eli whitney this is the least reputable site I've ever been linked to.
Tuskegee.edu? What are they doing over at Tuskegee University?
That explains a lot.
Okay. He invented everything.
He invented vinegar.
The car, the television,
the light bulb. Some people will tell you
that they've been using vinegar for thousands
of years.
This dude invented fucking punch.
He invented gasoline?
No, no, this is all
lies. It says it on here.
Pineapple punch.
Hand lotion. He was just mixing shit up
all day, huh? How did he invent gasoline
and gas? He didn't invent any of that
shit. Yeah, the concept of...
Roll up, Zach. This guy's getting credit
for paint. Pr up, Zach. This guy's getting credit for paint.
There's diesel.
Now I don't believe
he invented a goddamn thing.
So were we
fibbed to the same way we were fibbed to about
Helen Keller? And Harriet Tubman.
And Harriet Tubman?
Who was the one who wouldn't sit
in the back of the bus?
Fucking, I don't know.
Mary Tyler Moore, right?
It was Mary Tyler Moore.
Rosa Parks.
That's who it was.
Fib too about Rosa Parks.
Fib too about fucking Helen Keller.
Fib too about George Washington Carver.
Fib too about.
I've been doing a little research.
I have my favorite women's invention.
Mint chocolate chip.
You know what?
What respect, the deep
respect I had for Dr.
Carver
is now gone.
I don't have it anymore,
but I'm having fun making fun of his list.
That website's full of shit.
It is.
What do you do? This can't be a real university.
There's no fucking way.
Isn't it a...
He's taking credit for five different kinds of paper
in the bottom section.
Gas and gasoline separately.
I don't believe any of that.
Gas and gasoline.
Oh, he invented rubber.
Man, this guy was busy.
When you lie about all that, now i don't believe you invented peanut
butter now now i i don't think you would have come up with salted peanuts on your own at this point
the gall of the claiming salted peanuts the dude should just put the cotton gin on his list
I'm looking at Eli Whitney's list of
inventions and
I don't think he worked that
hard after the cotton gin.
It pretty much took care of him for life.
Cotton gin was a big one.
Interchangeable parts
which is like something
that there's no possible way
that people have been using interchangeable
parts since for thousands of years.
I was told Henry Ford kind of
made that a thing. I think he did
the assembly line.
But that mass production is part
of it. Yeah, it used to be
you sort of built all your parts to fit
together. I have made a lot of woodworking
projects and when you put the drawers in,
they go right in their right spot.
You can't just change them around.
That's their number one,
two and three.
They're not the same size,
but when they started adding more like precision and manufacturing,
then all the parts are the same size.
The idea of building,
the idea of building a truck in Detroit and then another one in Atlanta and being able to take them both completely apart, mix the parts together and build two more trucks again was a new fucking thing.
It was like that level of precision and with your machinery is necessary.
And then the coordination and everything.
That's one of the things that made the United States so good when they went full total war mode after Pearl Harbor.
When they were able to weaponize the auto industry that we already had and all that infrastructure for manufacturing.
The numbers of airplanes are staggering that we created.
I think we benefited from some new infrastructure.
Like, take right now, for example, we're building artillery shells, and I
think the machines we make them from are
80 years old.
We can't ramp up our artillery shell
production like we wish we could.
But back in the 1940s, all that shit was
brand new and
state-of-the-art. Probably so, yeah.
Ammunition. Every time there's
a freaking bullet shortage of some caliber,
then you find out like,
Oh yeah.
The machines that make that bullet are 80 years old.
And I never understand that one.
That one doesn't make any sense at all to me.
I don't,
I don't understand what the,
what the shortage even is.
Like,
like,
can you not get powder?
Can you not get primers or can you not get,
that's it.
Cause you can make the rest.
Like you make your own brass,
you make your own lead. I don't know how to make primers and i don't know how to make gunpowder but those
companies do so when i hear there's a shortage i don't fucking get it because you just the gigantic
machines like the ones that you would see on how it's made yeah i don't know how you get one of
those but there's reloading machines like i don't know it baffles me like like this machine turns
nickels into quarters, right?
It takes five cents of material and turns them into
45 cent bullets or 25 cent
bullets. Why aren't more
people jumping into this business if there's a
shortage? Yeah, I don't get it.
I never
know. I don't know what's necessary
if there's a licensing thing.
I found licensing easy to get
with ATF. I don't know if it is an
ATF license. I don't know anything about it.
I mean, you can make your own ammo.
And I know people make their own ammo and sell it
at gun shows. So I don't know if there's
any law
saying that Woody couldn't just
buy 50 machines, put them in his barn
and start Woody's ammo company.
I don't think there's a law against that.
But I don't know.
I don't know either.
I want to check before you get those machines.
I bet there's some laws on how some of this stuff is stored,
like the gunpowder.
That, for sure.
If you're going to have a certain amount of powder on the premises,
you probably need a magazine.
There's probably a point at which just smokeless powder alone,
you've got too much.
Actually, well, unless the guy that I knew
was doing the wrong thing,
he had kegs and kegs of powder.
Like when I would buy powder to reload,
you'd buy a pound and a pound of powder.
It's like the little jug of it.
And it goes a long way.
A pound of powder makes lots and lots of shotgun shells.
But he had kegs like from the video games,
like round wooden kegs full of powder. You know, like round wooden kegs.
Donkey Kong throws.
Donkey Kong kegs.
Yeah.
I mean, like that, though.
Full of gunpowder.
He just had them on shelves.
It was a flex, though, wasn't it?
No, it was his reloading room.
Okay.
Okay.
I mean, it's reloading.
Oh, he needs kegs of it.
Like for what he's big shells.
Big shells.
Oh, big shells.
Yeah.
I never understood
that either. How there could be a
shortage on ammo. I wondered what
component. Does all the gunpowder
come from China and there just
isn't any at the docks right now?
Does it come down to that? Can you just not
lay hands on one of these components?
Because a machine should just be turning these out, you said i don't get it have you seen ukraine's taking the initiative again and they're taking back territory yeah i saw they pushed them
out of kharkiv and um i heard they pulled their abrams back and started putting coke cages on the
uh the abrams because the russians are using are using kamikaze unmanned
drones to take out the tanks.
I saw
basically everyone except
for the United States gave Ukraine permission
to use their weapons
in Russia proper.
So the Brits were like, yeah,
you can fly the storm shadows
anywhere they'll go.
The French are like, you can use the fucking stuff we gave you anywhere.
Shoot it wherever you want.
And everybody kind of fell in.
And the F-16s are there, are getting there.
I was going to say, are we comparing apples to apples?
Because I don't think UK gave them F-16s.
Storm shadow missiles, that's the thing.
It's not even about the aircraft.
They're not going to fly their F-16s. Storm shadow missiles, that's the thing. It's not even about the aircraft. They're not going to fly
F-16s to Russia. It's about
launching those missiles deep into Russia,
those storm shadow missiles.
And with the U.S.,
they're going to want to use those attack them
and stuff like that. But I think the thing
they've got that goes the furthest is
when they take that Cessna
and load it up with C-4 and fly it
into Russia. That thing goes like 600 kilometers up with C4 and fly it into Russia.
That thing goes like 600 kilometers or something like that.
And it's insane.
I love that they've been...
I guess if you're on the receiving end of it, you would think it was despicable.
But there's something ridiculous and kind of funny about them just loading up a Cessna
that probably cost them $65,000, $75,000 and filling it up with bomb materials and just
autopiloting it to a refinery or a factory.
Russia must feel like we do when we attack Al-Qaeda, for example.
Like, oh man, we can win, but it's really expensive.
You know, we're firing $5 million hypersonic missiles
and they're loading up $32,000 1963 Cessnas for $30,000.
Yeah.
How long can we fight this war when we spend $5 million a bullet
and they spend $30,000?
I saw some photos of black fighters who were fighting for Russia
from Africa and the Middle East and stuff like that,
and it's so weird to me
some mercenaries yeah yeah it's professional army men or whatever but to see black people
fighting in russia for ukraine is is or in ukraine for russia that's so weird
why it's like a real mistake too because here's my just a mercenary group they'll probably fight for anyone right yeah but this isn't your uh your fucking ecosystem i feel like if i'm a ukrainian
and and then there's some ruskies over there and we wipe them out and we see one of them's like
please please my name's peter mine please no i'm like your language is so close to mine i know what
you just fucking said.
Alright, fucking crawl over here. Don't you move.
But if a black dude
pops up,
no, I'm not taking him.
He's getting it. Let me tell you why.
Because he's black? Yeah.
No, not because he's black.
Because he came here
from somewhere that's got nothing.
Because he's statistically less likely to graduate high school.
I see where you're coming from.
It had nothing to do with this shit.
The Russian guy, alright, you got pressed into service.
Your country is attacking my
country. Your president ordered you.
Your people are counting
on you, etc.
This black dude who came here
from Nigeria or fucking
Somalia or somewhere like
that. You're here for a check. Dude, a or fucking Somalia or somewhere like that. Kill me for a paycheck.
You're here for a check. Dude, a guy from
Somalia who showed up to fight there would like
be in the war zone and he'd be like,
you know, this place is pretty nice.
Look at that. There is a building standing right
there.
Idiot's country.
Take my picture.
Take my picture. Take my picture.
Oh my goodness.
Get a picture of me next to the building.
I'm serious.
If you came there for a check,
you're not even...
The Ukrainians and the Russians are
so close. It'd be like us fighting the Canadians.
A lot like that, I think.
You know, you'd take a Canadian prisoner.
But if we had a war against the Canadians
and all of a sudden you looked up and a fucking...
A Chinese battalion is marching in.
You'd be like, what the fuck?
It's like a North Korean pops up over there
next to flying a maple leaf flag.
That dude's getting it. He can't surrender.
You came here from Korea to kill me? Fuck
you. We're not putting you in the camp and giving
you our delicious prison food.
No. Yeah. I see your
point. I'm going to pull your
gold teeth.
There's no way they can afford that
North Korea. Give me that fucking tooth.
I'm glad Ukraine's taking land back
because the last time we gave Ukraine
a ton of ammo,
they're like, oh, we're going to do a big counteroffensive
as soon as the weather gets nice.
Eventually it does.
And what do they do?
Yeah, they sit back and they just fucking lob artillery
from the safety of their rear positions.
They don't do fucking anything.
They spend a trillion US dollars,
rounded up from like 50 million and uh and they
just don't do anything and they don't take any land and then they're like oh we're out of bullets
what can we do it's what you should have done bro you should have charged you should have like
taken your land back you're so right i can't believe i know you've been faxing the general
and and i i he hasn't been reading the faxes, clearly, because I've
been watching the troop movements. If Woody
had his... had a hold
of the reins of this war, he'd have
been in Moscow. We've been in Moscow last
winter. And I'm a pretty good
technician, strategist.
I've been watching YouTube videos since it started.
Strategist.
Strategist, yeah.
I'm pretty sure George Bush used the word
strategery.
I'm like 85% sure
he said that out loud.
Strategist.
I think he said strategist.
I'm not denying it.
I don't know what I said.
Certainly not a war criminal.
The one that mistakes common words like me.
Hell no. No way.
I like baseball and bombing people.
I mean, baseball.
He made so much.
He got a lot of traction and goodwill
based on the idea he'd be nice at a barbecue.
Yeah.
He still does. That's a lot of what
electing people is.
Did you see him cozying up with Michelle Obama
and they're all cutesy and hugging each other?
It's like, aw, look at George.
He just killed a million Iraqis.
I mean, that's just a million Iraqis.
That's another thing.
We killed a million Iraqis about a decade ago.
Let Israel get their war done.
Leave them the fuck alone.
Who are we?
Who are we to be the...
What are you doing over there?
Someone's funding it.
Yeah, if we're funding it, we get a say.
That's who we are.
No, that's not how it works.
What do you call that kind of parenting?
That's micromanagement.
We don't need that.
No, we do.
Let them go out and make their mistakes.
That's the only way you'll learn.
No, you're trying to be a parent that's like, all right, don't go out and make their mistakes. That's the only way you learn. No, you want to you're you're trying to be a parent.
That's like, all right, don't you do whatever you want forever.
And they're like, I'm going to do whatever I want forever.
And you're like, oh, you.
Well, daddy has to see his mistress.
So here's a billion dollars more.
And if your kid has a drug problem, you don't give them cash and trust them.
They've got a they've got an enemy problem, and so we give them bombs.
I wouldn't be signing the bomb.
That's a little gauche.
But I know why they're shooting the bombs.
I know why they're shooting the rockets.
Look, the stuff I don't like is when you're just killing civilians on purpose,
and I see that sometimes.
They'll sniper fire, literally just snipe a civilian.
It's like, whoa, what the fuck?
He was doing his laundry.
Dude, that happens all the time.
I think there's a rare isolated incidence
by outsiders who are later punished.
And I don't know why you would think
or say anything different, sir.
Yeah, all these damn AI videos
that are being released all the
time you joke but like mate i could be fooled by like you know some of the footage i see is so
grainy and shit that it's like this could be anything i could be every weather event i'm
fooled i'm trusting there's a giant hurricane they show me some picture from 16 years ago and
say look what hurricane diddly do just
looks that did and meanwhile that's like in hong kong yes i don't know they seem to be you know
going uh going a bit over the line over there i don't know but like what do you i i disagree
stay out stay out they get all of it it's not our business go need to go in there and get all
them bad people um round them up that's both sides all of them yeah it's not our business. You need to go in there and get all them bad people. Round them up.
That's both sides. All of them.
It's not a Marvel movie.
It's not like there's a bunch of guys with scary hats
on over there where it's like, we're just getting the scary hat, guys.
They're literally that.
It's Iron Man 3.
This is Iron Man 3.
No, you cannot let Iron Man 3 inform
your opinion on geopolitics. Please, I beg of you.
This is 100% Iron Man 3 inform your opinion on geopolitics. Please, I beg of you. This is 100%
Iron Man 3.
It's scenario year,
and you've got to go in there and you've got to clean those.
Iron Man 3, this summer,
Tony gets kicked.
It's not Iron Man 3.
You know, you've got both sides who think they're right,
who have an argument to be made. It's a confusing
situation.
One side's defending itself
from all sorts of evil, and the other side is to be made. It's a confusing situation. One side's defending itself from
all sorts of evil.
And the other side is...
Which one is that one? Israel's defending
itself and the Palestinians just...
I mean, put your hands up, dude. What are you doing
over there?
Get your hands up.
What are you doing, dude? You're getting walloped.
Get your hands up.
Or,
here's option B for anyone
who would say anything different. Surrender!
I don't
think they're taking prisoners over there.
What are you talking about? They offered a ceasefire.
There's a peace
agreement. They say no.
How do non-combatants surrender?
Hamas.
The leadership of Hamas
who they're negotiating with.
No one's worried about Hamas dying.
It's all the innocent people. How do they surrender?
Well, they're going to keep fighting the terrorist organization
that's over there until
they surrender. And whatever
happens, happens.
I blame the terrorists who are using the civilians.
Whatever happens is going
to happen and it would continue to happen if we were entirely disconnected from these world away conflicts that don't serve our interests.
Now who's got a problem with geopolitics, all right?
Do you really want the Ruskies to slide in there and be Israel's friend and arm them and move their missiles into that area?
Yes.
Giving Russian a white elephant to take care of for the rest of their time.
They've got a drain on Russia.
You want to cause a problem for Russia financially?
Make them fund Israel.
Exactly.
Wait, wait, wait.
This gets better.
We can have them fund both sides.
Putin, we have been doing pretty good with the numbers accounting-wise on this war,
but we are six hours into supporting
Israel and we're running low.
Dude, that doc is the
worst. No, it's the weirdest thing.
I gave him the money and then he's like,
thanks, fuck you, I'm doing
what I want. It is the wildest
negotiation. I tell you, these people
really are good.
I left there thanking
him. My God.
I don't want anything to do with the Middle
East. It's for the birds.
Nobody wants you to go, luckily.
I'd reset to pay for it. I'd go.
Wouldn't you? You wouldn't.
They want you to go.
Aren't you ready? You wouldn't. They want you to go? Aren't you ready?
No.
You wouldn't answer the call?
Go die for the Middle East?
Nah.
Die for them, fight for them.
If Uncle Sam comes and he says,
Look, B.B. Netanyahu needs you.
He wants you.
B.B. Netanyahu needs me?
Yeah.
B.B. Netanyahu?
They need an ex-goalie.
I'll do it.
He says you can be his guy i can be his top guy i'm bb's top guy i disagree so much with what they're doing over there but
bb needs me they're gonna call you the golem that's gonna be your code name
all right you're selling me yeah do Yeah. Do I get a harem of
big titty Israeli fighter bitches?
No, they make you play goalie.
You get three IDF hoes
who are TikTok hoes.
How many?
Three.
How many?
How many do you need, Taylor?
How many?
Four IDF TikTok hoes. That's all we got, alright? How many? Four. Four IDF TikTokos.
That's all we got.
All right?
You can't go to five.
All right.
Maybe I strapped some boots on.
Maybe I caused some problems.
All right.
All right.
Four TikTokos and a Palestinian boy we caught last week.
No.
You're giving me a financial burden now?
No.
No.
You can do anything you want with him.
Like, I don't know.
What's he good at?
Taylor, be creative. I don't think you're on the same page here with this young you know what actually what would alexander the great do give me the best
soccer playing boy that the palestinians have and then i will i'll give him all the right training
and i'll have my own fucking uh messy and i'll be worth a, jillion dollars when he's an adult.
Somebody has to shoot him in the kneecap right away.
He was coming at me with a
scary ball.
There's been anything in there.
That's how our cops are too.
I saw LAPD. If you go to Police Activity,
wonderful channel.
I saw a dude went at these two cops with a
paint roller and they shot him. It's a paint roller. I saw a dude went at these two cops with a paint roller and they shot him.
It's a paint roller.
I saw a woman. This is great.
This woman comes out of her house. She's like,
I got a gun! And she does this thing where she holds up
a coat and pokes her finger
through the coat and she's strafing,
you know, running sideways in her yard.
Coat in one hand and
finger guns stuck through the fabric.
And this one cop who's hiding
behind his car with his gun out gets so scared he goes bang bang bang six times doesn't hit shit
one of the other cops is like it's not a gun it's not a gun and he's a
they're fucking shaking.
The other thing you saw,
the golfer had that snafu with the cops the other day.
It's like one of the top golfers in the world was late to his tea time at the Masters or Augusta or wherever the fuck they were.
And this cop,
like,
it's hard to say what happened.
There were a lot of charges against him at one point, but basically the cop like sort of jumps in his window as he's pulling into the golf course and hits him with a flashlight.
And he doesn't know who he's being attacked by.
So he gasses it.
And,
and like the cop falls over and skins his knee.
And so they arrested the,
uh,
the golfer and charged him with a bunch of shit,
like five or six charges.
But it turns out the
cop's body camera wasn't on and they didn't follow procedure and and like when you see the interview
they're being the detectives a piece of shit he's like i didn't know who was attacking me he's like
we're dressed like cops sir we're all dressed like cops and it's like he's wearing an orange vest it's
it's night i thought it was a security guard i don't he's like you don't have to do a security
guard to tell you and i'm'm going to be like, no.
No, I don't. He's here
for me. He's here for my security.
I'm the guy.
Anyway, they dropped all the charges
and the officer who
hit him with the light
gave one of those non-apology
apologies where he was like,
not only do I have visible
skin knee, but I ruined my
$80 pants.
Good. Poor guy.
God, I hate those people.
Golfers.
I know we're
about to wrap, but I saw one where
a guy charged a cop with a steak knife.
The cop put him down twice.
Dude, he shot him.
He got crumpled to the ground, but then he got up and went for another run at it with the steak knife, and the cop put him down twice dude he shot him he got crumpled to the ground but then he got up and
went for another run at it with the steak knife and the cop put him down for good prior to that
he called 9-1-1 said voices were telling them to kill people so it sounded like suicide by cop to
me yeah or schizophrenia yeah a little bit of both maybe sure sure i like that too a lot of them do
that suicide by cop thing that I've seen where they'll be
talking to the guy.
They're like,
Gary,
just put it down and come outside.
He hasn't picked up a weapon yet.
He's like,
just,
just come with us.
You just have to leave.
Look,
you don't have to go to jail,
but you can't stay here.
It's one of those.
And he's just like,
I'm not going to jail.
I'm not going to jail.
And they're like,
you're,
you're right.
You're not Gary. As long as you just leave.
You walk out of here.
You head down the sidewalk, and you don't come back.
It's easy.
I'm going to die here tonight.
And it's like, fuck, man.
Why don't we have a big net like in the cartoons to throw over this guy real quick?
But eventually, he picks up some scissors or some shit and just comes at him like a crazy man you know screaming and stabbing and
they all gun him the fuck down uh that that's near happens so much where they you call the
cops because you've got a friend a loved one whatever who's having some sort of a like the
worst day of their life or something and they're falling apart or maybe they got mental illness
drug issues whatever but man if we just had a net like he'd be good tomorrow you know like he
just needs to sleep off whatever is going on tonight but instead they don't seem to have they
have those tasers but i always say those things are bullshit like i see them miss so much they
don't know how to use them or they can't really reload them fast enough to do anything and then
they got a gun so and the beanbag shit doesn't work and i remember that history
channel or discovery channel thing we watched 20 years ago where they had that goo cannon they like
sprayed the the guy with all the it was like that uh foam sealant you put in your uh your attic or
whatever but it was like a giant ghostbusters size one why don't we why don't we have some of those
gadgets from future weapons because we we still haven't come up with anything i don't we have some of those gadgets from future weapons? Because we, we still haven't come up with anything.
I don't know.
They got a thing now,
um, for high speed chases that grabs the car.
They like reach under it with a claw and grab it.
You sent me a video of it.
It ties up the rear tires.
I,
with a net maybe.
Yeah.
And then they got another thing that has an arm and it pokes a dart onto the
back of the car with a GPS and they just go,
and then they just slow down and let the car go
I like that too
I love that one
seems like if it's not your car
there's still an escape route
yeah they'll get away probably
Kia boys
well I've had about all I can take
check out our
sponsors in the description
PKA 702
Trump's guilty