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It is PKN episode 108.
Yes, the first episode broadcast live from the seventh circle of hell.
You will be with us.
Yeah, rumors of my death greatly exaggerated.
I just, I popped on to do this show.
Now I'm on the internet for like the first time in a while.
And shit, I had no idea that like this much was happening.
Kyle said there was a new PKN header.
I wasn't even using the subreddit style.
I read one post of these guys.
I'm like, check out this post.
It's crazy.
And then there were, like, 10 of them or more.
I don't know, 20 of them.
Yeah, yeah.
Initially you came in and you were like, I got this weird message from a fan who was disappointed with rumors.
And I don't even know what he's talking about. Fuck that and i was like oh no you don't understand there's there's
thousands of people right now sitting around collectively wondering if you're dead or alive
and i'm one of them yeah me and kyle were one of them up until literally like nine minutes ago
we were sitting we were playing civ because we started a game and we're like, do you think he forgot the day?
I mean, he is someone whose hobby
is strapping a fan to his back
and taking to the skies.
I told Chiz,
first I googled
how fast does a goose fly.
Turns out 40 miles per hour without a tailwind.
And then, you know,
Woody flies at around 30 miles per hour,
I figured. I was like
What if a goose hit woody in the chest? It's at a combined velocity of 70 miles per hour
Maybe that's how he goes you know that
Heard anything you know where my kill me areas out there
You know left and right all kinds of horrible things like like I don't believe in like jinxing you luckily if if that were a thing
You'd have perished from something horrible because you know we come up with all kinds of scenarios for what could have happened
we don't hear from you sometimes and and yeah we thought you might be a goner uh gun surgeon
messaged me on steam and he was like hey what's up with woody you know uh if there seems to be a
lot of talk on the internet that he might be dead and i'm like i replied back I was like I haven't heard from Woody since Friday there's another thing like patreons I don't know what the patreons having exclusive
information is like Kyle theorized that maybe Chiz told them something um my theory is different
my theory is that there are people either claiming or who are patreons pretending to know stuff
oh yeah that's definitely what it is like there's no way that or who are Patreons pretending to know stuff.
Oh, yeah, that's definitely what it is.
Like, there's no way that the... That'd be pretty crazy if the Patreons had information that me and Kyle didn't have.
Yeah, okay.
I saw a comment like that because I was looking at the PKA Reddit earlier,
and someone was, like, saying, like...
Someone was alluding to the fact, exactly like you said,
of a Patreon having come forward with something.
And I was even thinking, like, well, fuck. Like, I'm not a Patreon. Did I miss out? to the fact exactly like you said of a patron having come forward with something and i was
even thinking like well fuck like i'm not a patron did i miss out like yeah what is what is chiz
telling the patrons that he won't tell us now this is a chiz issue this is like that package is 9.99
kyle i'm like god damn it all right everyone yeah no yeah well here's the actual truth so i'm away from my
computer a lot on weekends as a matter of fact at this airport i go to we call it zombie air
force base because the owner was born on halloween um it doesn't even have cell phone service really
like it kind of does i it's the it's like sometimes you get one bar and you can maybe one of
the sides can hear the conversation but like that's the level of cell phone service that have
texts constantly fail to deliver so you just don't even try and uh so i'm just kind of off the grid a
little bit and when you're in the air you get good service though right i don't even know i've never
pulled my phone out of my pocket in the air i even bought a handlebar mount for motorcycles like so that i could use my gps and
there's like paramotor apps but um i'm still a new pilot and i just haven't added any like
complications so terrified of like it popping out one of those little hard plastic mounts and
tumbling to the ground below like oh, oh, well, there it goes.
I know a guy who lost his phone a few weeks ago.
And it's like, in his case, he didn't know when it dropped.
He just knows it wasn't in his pocket when he landed.
And it's like, well, you're fucked.
Like, you've covered 3,000 acres of forest.
Get about that.
Yeah, unless you've got a tracker.
You're not finding that bad.
Dude, that's what I'm going to do.
I need to put a tracker on my phone ASAP.
But wait, I need my phone to track my phone.
I don't know that I really have this worked out.
No, you can log into the app.
There's better ways than a tracker.
There's apps for your phone that would be better.
I think there's an Apple recovery thing that can GPS your phone and find the location.
I think that's what you need.
I need to get some other people on
so they know where I am all the time
so we can find my phone if I ever lose it.
I'm going to get on that immediately.
I think it's a system where your whole family's phones
are on a GPS grid,
and all you've got to do is open this app
and be like, yeah, there's Hope.
There's Colin in his classroom.
You can see where everybody... But I don't do it with my friends and my family can't help me find my phone we'll be hundreds of miles away so they're gonna get some of my
pair of friends to Slow stopping crime.
So anyway, we came
home, I guess, Monday night after
midnight, after I'd been gone
most of the weekend. And today I was
just kind of offline. I was
playing with Colin doing Legos
and, I don't know, just
being a husband.
Yeah.
I don't know. I didn't realize that everyone would think I was dead
if I didn't post a video.
Well, you should have known better
to know that everybody would assume the worst immediately.
It's a little insulting.
My view of me is...
I think it speaks to your work ethic.
They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa,
what do you take a day off?
And he hasn't posted on Reddit since Saturday?
Which is true.
I know these things because we've checked this out.
We've been trying to figure out if you're dead or not. I'm like, the last text Woody ever sent me was this toilet overflowing with shit.
that's the last thing he ever said was this
image
of a toilet literally overflowing
with gallons of
putrid diarrhea
it reminded me of your story
me, Chiz, and Kyle
in our group text would have been texting each other
that sucks about Woody
man I can't believe it happened while still
in the fucking frame of the text
the last thing you sent to us which is a picture of a bathroom covered in shit
and never forget i print that screenshot out it was yeah we were a little bit worried um you know
we hadn't heard from you and uh you know the the general consensus of the online community was that maybe something bad had happened at sea.
Here's, like, in my head, this is my self-view of me.
It's like, Woody's lost in bear country?
Those poor fucking bears, right?
Like, that's what I want people to think.
Like, he's a tough son of a bitch.
He's fine.
No one thinks that about anyone in bear country.
No, no. I've been in bear grills i'm like
fuck bear grills it's just a matter of time like they're like oh man you really did a great job
for 35 days okay how about day 41 how about day 47 because he's not some deft you know
quite an infection from all that rhino shit, I hate.
There's not quite as much of him in...
He's like in the antibiotics by now.
Does he still do a show or anything?
Yeah, yeah, he's got a different show.
I saw a picture of him the other day.
Barely alive, yeah.
It was him and Shaq.
For some reason, Shaq was surviving with him,
and he had built, like, a multi-layered...
He basically covered Shaq with leaves uh
Shaq was just covered except for his little face his gigantic face and leaves dude I know
so the show is called like barely surviving and it's just someone who's like 40 to 60 pounds
overweight that they leave out there with no training or tools and just a camera crew that
follows them over the course of a couple weeks until they're about to expire and then they're brought out there.
And you see who can go farthest.
Have you seen Naked and Alone?
Yeah.
Naked and Afraid.
I want a fight version, though.
So, like, in fighting, right, this is what happens to fighters.
They start off, they're hungry, they just dream of being a pro fighter, etc.
As they get rich, like, it's really hard to get out of bed when you're
sleeping on satin sheets. That's the
line that some boxers use. I feel like
that happened to Les Stroud. That
happened to Bear Grylls.
People that were just enthusiastic
about spending time suffering in the
woods are suddenly like...
Les Stroud is a little different.
Because he goes out there by himself and like he you know
He films it all I'm sure you already know it's to say like sometimes he'll film himself
scaling down a cliff face using some rope he made from from like bamboo or
Vines and to accomplish that shot
He has to build the rope and then throw the rope down and climb down the cliff face and then put a
camera down there and then climb back up the cliff and then climb down it again for the camera that
he plays it's absurd what he has to do it's vlogging on veteran mode it's it's hard it's
it's mode it's nightmare mode yeah because i've read what he's written about it like they offered
him so much money to continue doing that and he he's like, no, it kills me.
It destroys my body.
I lose a little of me every time I go out and do one of those.
And I'm not recovering 100% every time.
These things are bad for me.
You can even tell when you watch, because I went through a phase a few years back.
I guess everybody did when those shows were big, where I watched a bunch of them.
And there was just a distinct difference in the sound like
the way he would speak compared to bear grills not to say that they're not different people but just
the way they'd respond like bear grills would be like i'm gonna drink some pee here to show you
that it's safe and les stroud would be like barely fumbling his camera as he's shaking
like like and then he gets it up there and he's I'm going to try and get some of this piss down.
I hope you're sometimes just going to
tough it out, and I didn't have enough time
to make a shelter.
Now I'm sounding like Rick.
He looked
fucking desperate. Desperate
and sometimes legitimately scared
in his show. As Bear Grylls,
even in the worst of the worst it was like
dude you know you're fucking fine there's a bk no more than 20 miles from here i guarantee
well he's got a whole crew there like they have snacks you know there's a guy right over there
with a snickers bar in his back somebody's gonna do your valley bar around there fucking somewhere
i wonder if bear grills started as a more honest show like i know that he had a whole camera crew
there right but was it ever like
okay we're a crew but we're not interacting with bear grills very much and then by like week six
he's like dude you fucking hook me up with an oatmeal bar well like i'll take the water i don't
think so because because like in the beginning the discovery channel would have had most of the
say not bear grills you know so so it would have been the cheapest and most expedient way to film
the show they'd be he'd be like all right so send would have been the cheapest and most expedient way to film the show. He'd be like,
alright, so send me out to the rainforest of Borneo.
They're like, actually,
we're based in Hawaii, we're based in LA,
so we'll just fly to Hawaii, and we're gonna
get in the same jungle they feel Jurassic Park
in, how about that? Yeah, that's where the Velociraptors
are. Talk about that.
We'll get an extra...
Talk about that. People like that.
Yeah.
But no, he went to all sorts of places.
He was in Alaska.
They go to the top of Mount Z.
But what I'm getting at is that, like, I doubt the Discovery Channel would be like, all right, we want this for real.
So absolutely no interaction between you and the talent.
I think they want him to be, like, energetic and able to do all of his silliness and stunts.
I think he's always been kind of a sham of a show.
Not that he's not a real deal guy,
but that his show is more about entertainment.
It's more about flash.
And Les Stroud's show has always been about bare bones.
This is as real as it gets to me.
Do you guys watch Naked and Afraid?
I watched some of it,
but when I realized there wasn't any real nudity you
know i kind of lost it every now and then you get a hint of it there was a lawsuit over it
really i've only watched like two episodes but every time or both episodes i watched the woman
did not pull her weight at all like the guy lost like 50 pounds over the course of their trip there
and she lost like eight dude or like seven
the women pull their weight i've so i've seen a bunch of naked and afraid i went through a kick
on it and i don't want to say i've seen all of it but i ran out of naked and afraid to watch like
this i'm sure there's more now and uh maybe one in 10 times the woman will pull her weight
you know they just i remember there was one in particular that had like weaving talent
and stuff then they were in this really sunny like burning climate and she's instantly like
making sombreros and some sort of clothing and out of like starting an etsy shop out of like
gigantic leaves and things like that and it was her hobby to do like survive all of them
it seems like they're going to be good like oh yeah this guy's
like an army ranger or something like he's constantly out in the woods and this you know
girl likes to just stumble in the woods doing whatever for a week like they all seem like
they're going to be great and then only a few of them ever are but did you watch go ahead that i
was i was going to keep going on there's one one that was Naked and Afraid, like extra large. I don't know if that's a penis joke, but it was 40.
There are more people, and it was 40 days.
40 days is legit because you can starve practically for 21.
Like making it 21 days is willpower.
Making it 40 is skill.
And that was really neat to see.
But anyway.
Did you watch Narcos, the pablo escobar thing on
netflix yeah i've seen it how good is it right it's excellent okay so it breaking bad no no not
even close to breaking bad okay so there's a lot of so there's a lot of subtitles and there's a lot
of spanish um so like that that's one takeaway from it It's not as good as Breaking Bad, but it's a
I think the fact that it's all based on a true story and every now and then they'll stop the
whole show and they'll show you news, but he's like, no, no, he really did it. And then they'll
show you news footage of from like, of like, you know, Tom Brokaw like, oh, holy shit, look what
he's doing. And you know, and you're like, God, that really did happen?
I want to do more show ranking.
Are you more excited about the next season of Narcos or Rick and Morty?
Rick and Morty.
Well, not to be too much of a spoiler,
but I'm almost done with season two of Narcos because it just released.
That's why I'm talking about it.
Season two just came out.
But I'm pretty fucking sure Pablo dies at the end of season two
despite the fact that Netflix has already bought two more additional seasons. But Pablo dies at the end of season two just came out but i'm pretty fucking sure pablo dies at the end of season two despite the fact that netflix has already bought two more additional seasons but pablo dies at the end of
season two almost certainly um so i'm not that excited about a season three as i am about you
know season three or four of rick and mori or whatever it is but that's more fan theory than
reality at this point it's been spoiled well i know oh i know the history oh so you know what
happens in real life.
Yeah, they're closing in on Piper.
He dies eventually.
Yeah, they gun him down.
You guys aren't Orange is the New Black fans,
so it's hard to throw that in the mix.
It's better than Oz. It's better than
fucking Oz for damn sure.
I disagree. I've watched the whole
first season and the first episode of the second
of Narcos, and I thought Oz was way more entertaining. I wish I'd never watched Oz. I've watched the whole first season and the first episode of the second of Narcos, and I thought Oz was way more entertaining.
I wish I'd never watched Oz. I finished it all up, and the ending is so shit.
I forgot it.
I'll tell you right now. Here's the thing.
And this is not just the last episode, but just summing up Beecher's story.
episode, but just summing up the Beecher story. Beecher gets
paroled.
Keller messes up his
parole. He sets him up. He gets sent
back to prison.
Is Keller his wrestling friend?
Yes. Law and Order SVU actor.
Then Keller sets Beecher
up to kill Schillinger.
So when they're doing Macbeth,
he gives him a real knife. So he stabs Schillinger. So when they're doing Macbeth, he gives him a real knife. So he
stabs Schillinger in the heart on stage. They clear him of that killing, though. And so
then Beecher has in his head, he's like, you know what? I'm going to work with the FBI.
I'm going to tell them that Keller killed those three gay men back in the day and tortured
them to death. And that was going to get me out of prison. So you're like, ah, finally,
Beecher has a way out. He's on his way out again.
And Keller and Beecher are having a bit of an argument on the second floor of Emerald City.
And it doesn't go Keller's way.
And he sees that Beecher wants nothing to do with him. And his goal is just to get out.
And so he throws himself backwards off the railing, killing himself, screaming, no, Beecher.
So he frames Beecher for his own murder
and smiles up at Beecher as he dies.
And Beecher is, at the end,
Beecher just kind of, he's like,
you know, I'm almost certainly getting the death penalty for this.
So you can just assume that, yeah,
Beecher's getting the death penalty
for something he didn't even do.
And that's how the show ends.
That's it.
It's a really, like, really like oh fuck nothing got better
everything is worse at the end which is realistic because nobody comes out of prison
like i'm sure some people do when like they're like oh man i need to i'm writing a book and i'm
gonna get all these kids scared straight but not for these people i wanted you to finish it because
of the uh because there's like that sliver of hope when the pastor disappears.
And everybody's like, where is this pastor?
He was laying burned in this hospital bed in the hospital ward of the prison.
And he just vanished.
And then you find out that he was just walled up in a wall and left to die by some more of the inmates.
Again.
He got sealed in a wall twice.
by some more of the inmates.
Again.
He got sealed in a wall twice.
The first time,
he got, quote, lucked out by having his entire body burned to a crisp
when there was an explosion,
a gas fire in the cafeteria,
and they found him in the wall.
And then, apparently,
he got kidnapped from the hospital ward,
and they just took him back
with all of their masonry tools,
which apparently are available at the commissary.
And then you go over and they
swatched up the wall,
whatever you call it, and
locked him in there. I hope Game of Thrones ends
like this. You know Game of Thrones has
a famous line, like, if you think this is going to
end well, you haven't been paying attention.
Right? But we're all like, no,
it really is gonna, you know,
Jon Snow's gonna ride a dragon.
Game of Thrones will end fine because
it's a fantasy show about a fantasy world and here's and here's why and I want you to wrap
your head around this one because because Game of Thrones is a long fucking story right like we're
used to these shows that have story arcs that are just that are within a season you know that like
the the the one or every humps in a storyline.
Every season our character has a problem to deal with
and at the end of the season he's back on top.
But that's not Game of Thrones because it's a book series.
It's telling this big overarching story.
So yeah, beginning of the story,
good guys are on top, all is well.
Then the bottom falls out.
You get a little bit of hope,
the bottom falls out even more.
We were at the bottom of
the well at the end of last
season when they killed Jon Snow. Now we're
coming out of it. This is a standard
story arc. There's nothing new about this.
It's just that we're headed up
now, and we're going to keep heading up. And yeah, there's going to
be at least one more... I hope they mess with your theory.
I hope Daenerys just gets...
Like, suddenly...
Daenerys tries to do another goddamn display of fireproofness,
and it doesn't work.
And now she's burnt and ugly and ruined.
Here's what's going to happen in Game of Thrones.
And I almost guarantee this is what's going to happen.
There's going to be some tension between Jon Snow and Daenerys at some point.
But they're going to either get together.
One of them might die.
She may die.
He may give his life in the end,
but in the end, one of them or both of them
is going to rule the whole kingdom happily.
The White Walkers are going to get burned to a crisp.
The dragons may have to be sacrificed
in the winning of the war
because they're pretty OP to be having just laying around.
Got to make some sequels.
And a lot of the ancillary characters are gonna die.
Jorah's gonna give his life valiantly
if he continues in the books as well.
I don't even know.
Yeah, no fucking way that dude's making it through.
Daenerys is going to become the new chief villain, right?
Nope.
No, no way.
Worse than Cersei.
Nope.
No, I don't.
Why do you think that?
I saw it in a YouTube video.
But no, yeah, I think that she becomes like the opposing force to Jon Snow.
I think Jon Snow's opposing force is the White Walkers.
Like he's got that Night King to deal with.
I think the White Walker story arc, and I bet this, someone will record this and see what he was writing.
The White Walker story arc is going to be extremely disappointing.
Someone is just going to find a way to mow them down like Solomon in Lord of the Rings.
I'm sure I fucked up his name.
Solomon, who cut the Uruk-hai in half
Who truly?
What is the guy's name he had the one ring like before the story arc now that's now we're into like three different characters
No, no he was a Oh Sauron Sauron. That's not going I thought he was
oh, Sauron? Sauron, that's what I'm going for. I thought he was afraid of Saruman.
Sauron, he's the one who
There shouldn't be a Saruman and a
Sauron in the same story.
Think of it like this. Saruman
is a man. I mean, he's a wizard,
but he's still a man.
That does help, actually.
So the other guy, who's just like a big
fucking floating eyeball or something, I don't know.
He, in the very beginning,
like in the opening credits almost,
he's like slicing all those people.
Yeah, it's Sauron.
Sauron, yeah.
So I believe the White Walkers are going to go down like that,
and I'll be very disappointed.
Here's what I predict with the White Walkers.
They are going to do some horrible, they're going to take the wall out.
Like there's going to be some moment where like,
help me with the biblical reference. Who blew
the horn and, like, made the walls of Jericho
fall or whatever? Oh, fuck, what was
his name? I don't think it really
blew the horn, but who was
they, like? No, they did. That was what they did. They walked around
for days, blowing the horn,
and everybody in Jericho was like,
ah-ha-ha, fools, you can't blow this wall
down, and then eventually the wall came down, and
they, I think they ruthlessly...
I don't think they treated the people inside very kindly.
None were spared.
The knife was put to every man, woman, and child.
But yeah, I think that's going to happen.
The Night King is going to show up to that wall,
and maybe because he touched Bran,
maybe through some new magic we'll see him do some sort of...
Maybe he sticks a knife into a human or he sacrifices
one of his uh white walker generals or something and that whole wall is going to fucking shatter
it's going to explode and and all the black brothers are going to die and they're just
going to flood in there and they're probably going to destroy winterfell again that could happen
but i i think that john snow andenerys have combined their forces after taking over
King's Landing at this point.
King's Landing is going to be
another Blackwater Bay battle, I bet.
I bet that's important,
but the White Walkers have to be the most
important thing, because that's your supernatural enemy.
Yeah.
Another thing with Daenerys and her army,
you know how all the horsemen
are riding over, vomiting
as we speak? Someone should really be giving them a basic class on warfare because none
of them actually know how to fight unless they're killing people who are running on their horses
like that's the big problem like it not joking like i'm just saying like they their way of battle
is like they ride in they fucking raid they steal need, and then boom, they're out of there.
They're like a demon in the night, just in and out.
But they can't do that in Westeros, because Westeros is too advanced.
I think they're like horse archers, right?
I imagine them as a bow-shooting that that would go in and attack like uh
the guys on on foot like they're they're not meant to go against lancers or knights they're meant to
ride in and take out yeah but that's who they're going to face the the we're talking about they
don't have bows do they no they do yeah they do have bows on horseback. I thought they were going to fight and shoot the bow. Yeah, I'm sure they do that.
No, they have both.
They have those, like, simtars,
and then they have the bow and arrow on horseback.
Although I don't think we've seen the bow and arrows from them yet,
but it was referenced in season one where they're like,
oh, a Dothraki boy learns to shoot a bow
when he's, like, 12 or whatever the hell from horseback.
I didn't know horse.
And we beat him to death.
I don't know.
I just think there's going to have to be some, like like finagling of battle tactics like they do in some shows where like it's not
fully believable we're like i don't know i just i feel like they would have to maybe they just
outnumber everybody so bad that they just run over them but i feel like they're not equipped for
knights she's got the perfect composition uh for her army right she's got the unsullied foot
soldiers these are spearmen who
stand in formation and walk forward
and they're going to be effective
against any other foot soldier out there.
And then she's got the cavalry
which can ride in
and flank and be quick and go around
the sides and take out other guys on horseback
because that seems to be like the Westerosi
way is like riding on horses, hitting each
other with swords and shit a lot of the time.
And then she's got dragons,
you know, to accompany
that. That's the big
difference maker there, the dragon.
Because I feel like, even they showed
earlier, like when Jorah was fighting one of
those Dothraki,
and the Dothraki guy's obviously faster,
but he goes to, like, cut Jorah,
and is almost surprised when he's like,
what? Armor?
And it's like, yeah, did you not,
did you think that every, yeah.
I just feel like they need to have someone like Jorah
or somebody else given, like, a quick,
like, Warfare 101 and all those boats.
Like, hey, guys, fucking pay attention.
You guys are really good at killing women and children
who are horrified of you,
and men without weapons and no armor.
But this is a different world.
You're going up to the major leagues.
They've got whole – they're iron suits, as you say so eloquently, so articulately.
That's going to cause problems for you.
So you've got to learn.
You've got to slice here and here because you can't just run at it like an asshole and hope for the best because you're going to get embarrassed out there.
And we are not embarrassing the queen.
You understand?
We're going to keep this franchise hot!
We're going to ride into victory!
This is our year!
You know, and that's what he does.
Free Tom Brady!
Would you be upset if she stopped on the way to, like, Westeros
and got them all a nice suit of armor?
Like, what if next season you see them all, like,
kind of, like, looking at their new duds,
like, adjusting straps and stuff,
and they all got chainmail and plate armor?
That would just ruin the whole aesthetic.
I would not care for that.
They're looking at the helmet
and trying to put it over their big braids and stuff,
and they're throwing the helmet away.
I don't need that.
And her second,
Tyrion's like, no, you want the helmet.
Put the helmet on. Look at this.
Yeah, I could totally see that scene happening but i don't want to see them i want them to keep their aesthetic so i guess i'm complaining about two things where
i'm like they're not equipped for knights but don't put them in armor because then they won't
look cool i don't want to be bare chested out there like they don't give a fuck running around
with like a klingon sword. Yeah.
It's a whole year away. It's coming out in the summertime.
Yeah, it's a whole year away.
Kitty's uploading a vlog she made the other
day, and I think the intro of it is
she recorded
just outside the door to my shower,
and you can hear me in there like,
la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la You can hear me in there like, I'm doing the whole theme song.
Yeah, I love that show.
I remember there was that false rumor that was coming out a while ago.
I remember I was like, nope, that's wrong.
It actually came out that time last year.
And then I turned around and thought it was right again
because so many people confirmed it.
Yeah, I'm not getting excited about it until it's available somewhere like the way they do their seasons who fucking knows like it was they did like a year and a half between season one and
season two at the end of season two they said oh we'll see you in a year and a half for season three
and then a couple months ago they're like oh no it's actually coming now and then now came and
went and now now is the past and it's not here, so I'm just
it'll come out when it comes out. I think we might get the new
Game of Thrones book before Christmas
That'd be nice
I'm gonna have to re-read the book at this point
because I've, it's been so long
I heard that
he hasn't posted
on his online blog for like 45
days or something, and he's probably dead
I was joking he's probably dead.
I was joking.
He's probably eating ham.
He's somewhere eating a ham right now.
That's a good guess for him at all times.
Yeah.
Here's an interesting death pool.
No, that's not good at all because George R.R. Martin is going to win. I was going to say George R.R. Martin.
And say who had me in the death pool and break my silence like that.
You should let this content
go out there and be its own thing.
That way people will be more apt to become patrons.
We love our patrons.
We do.
Oh, but then that would make the thing about the guy
saying patrons no more
true.
It would make it retroactively true. Would that make this asshole...
It would make it retroactively true.
I thought the idea was that the patrons literally do know more.
Like, you know, they've got all kinds of little perks that kind of do tell them more.
Yeah, let's keep it just to this.
If anything, just ignore the rest
of the world. Continue.
You know, if you really want to have some fun,
make the
thumbnail to this just me and taylor
and that is a headstone one of the things that uh that happened and i'll talk about on this because
it's like a smaller audience my friend brad people know him from the vlogs his paramotor broke in
midair so the exhaust broke and then it started vibrating too much,
and the prop fell off, right?
Props aren't supposed to fucking fall off.
Do you need that? Is that an important part?
Yeah, yeah, you use it all the time.
What does it do again?
It prevents you from losing altitude.
Ah!
That's its core purpose.
It's a propeller?
Yes.
Ah, I know that part. Yes.
I'm sorry, I thought people knew prop. Okay, so the propeller yes ah i know that part yes i'm sorry i thought people knew prop but okay so the propeller
came off and it like the he hears the engine right the the exhaust breaks and it gets louder
and he's like what the and then it goes right now he sees the propeller just like fluttering to the
ground he lost it well we did find it later we went
around with an atv it landed in a field and uh a thing that every good paramotor every single
engine pilot must know is you always kind of have your lz picked out so uh so he just executed on
his plan he landed stayed on his feet everything was great and um but this is the third time his
exhaust broke and he feels like this
paramotor is no longer airworthy i shouldn't be saying so much but he's just like i said it right
and uh so he's working with them he gets a whole new paramotor an upgrade actually he gets a
paramotor worth like thousands more for like 200 they really take care of him in terms of customer
service but we spent a lot of our time like making that happen and going and retrieving it and shit like that.
And Marco, who is both the friend and the dealer, he doesn't like it when we put, like, our paramotor broke on the Internet.
Like, that, he feels like that's not a good look for him so now i have like
a whole lot of time spent last weekend on stuff i try not to like put out there to a really broad
audience and it made it hard to get vlog content and uh and i was like you know what maybe i'll
just take a week off i don't know i do have some pretty cool vlog content. We were fucking around with guns.
Like, that was pretty funny.
I don't know.
So you think this will be an off week for you?
A break week?
I was contemplating it.
I really enjoyed, like, not doing it.
So I don't know.
I'm like, maybe I should take a week off, refresh.
That's what vacations are for.
Yeah, I think that's a fine idea.
Get a few Civ games in.
Yeah, you can play Civ with us maybe.
But there's a whole Bill Burr bit,
and it was reminding me exactly what you've said,
of he was on a plane or something.
He was telling a story on his podcast of like, yeah, and this dude was saying, you know,
I was explaining to him this awesome concert I went to, the guy was like oh do you record it like do you have any footage of it or anything and i was just like no no i didn't record it on
any footage of it i just wanted to live in the moment can you just can anybody just fucking live
in the moment anymore that i'm going to say here i am this is what i'm doing like and it made a lot
of sense i was like yeah like it does kind of take away like when i'm with melissa or something or anyone like the zoo and i'm just like man that is
a really cool polar bear and then we have to spend like a few minutes there like documenting it it's
like we're never gonna look back at this polar bear because the zoo is free and we can come here
when we want to see the polar bear i like to show people the polar bear though i like to save little
pictures from from things that are interesting you know it makes sense i don't take a lot of
pictures i and i have some ideas on don't take a lot of pictures.
And I have some ideas on, like, there's a part of the house that doesn't get good Wi-Fi because her computer sucks at picking it up.
And I'm like, I should wire that part of the house for Wi-Fi for her and put a TV in her office.
And, you know, like, just the thought of, like, crawling around under the house with a fucking camera.
It really turned you on, huh?
It's the Les Stroud effect.
Everything's harder.
I've done a couple mowing montages, right?
Just hooking up the fucking mower to the back of the tractor
and getting six different angles from that,
PTO shaft, three-point hitch, whatever.
It takes a small job and makes it a big one.
And I'm like, you know, it'd be really nice
not to have that hanging over me this week.
And it's her birthday.
So it's like, if nothing else, that's the perfect time to have something that is just you and her.
And it's a personal thing that you enjoy.
And it's not for the world.
It's just for you.
Yep.
So I think more and more I'm thinking I might take this week off and, you know, just fucking chill.
And only patrons will know.
And I have some footage I might just slip in next time I need a day off.
Be like, yeah, here's us hanging out.
I'm like filming, like, yeah, you know, Brad's got this AR-15.
It's pretty cool.
It's like short-barreled silencer, whatever.
And he's like holding it between his legs.
And it works really well like this.
Shooting off into the woods.
Just fucking about.
I don't know.
It was fun.
Yeah, it sounds fun.
Well, I am really happy you're not dead.
Yeah, I like it that way.
Because I won the last death pool.
And that would have been a big blow if i suddenly lost that streak so quickly you know
i had christopher lee did you win the last two death pools i may have won the last two
well who was the one before i don't know i won some sort of like non-official version of the
death pool like like i lost it and we didn't re-choose new people and my guy died next. Ah.
That's like a silver medal victory.
At best.
Good guess.
Have we done a new death pool in a while?
I think we need to do it again. I think we did.
Really?
Yeah, I think last time that Christopher Lee died
we put one together.
But we could do another.
I'm not sure.
My impression was that Taylor won it, and we
need to re-choose.
Yeah, I think we might have to re... If we didn't
choose, then it just means we had bad choices.
Because these should be
pretty soon after we pick them.
Yeah, I'd like to put some thought into this.
My favorite is the under 40
pick. Like, what do we have? Three over
40s and an under? Or one of each?
I forget how we do it exactly.
I don't know. It's so complicated to do.
I think Judi Dench was mine last time.
Judi Dench.
Is she dead? No.
She's just getting there.
She's on the way.
Nancy Reagan died, right?
I take Bill Cosby. He was on my mind a second I think I had her. Oh, Bill Cosby. I take Bill Cosby.
He was on my mind a second ago.
Yeah, I was thinking of taking Cosby.
He's for sure going to die soon.
He's under a lot of pressure.
He's really rich, though.
Oh, that's not going to matter.
He's under a lot of strain, a lot of stress.
He's going to have that Joe Paterno syndrome.
He's just going to drop any day now.
Stroke, fucking heart attack, something like that.
Brain aneurysm.
He's going down.
Something's going to pop.
I need an under 40 pick.
That's a really good pick, Bill Cosby,
because I would be a little surprised if he was alive a year from now.
Under 40 pick.
Is Bieber going to OD?
No.
He seems really healthy. He's almost better's almost yeah he doesn't seem like a
drug addict kind of guy i don't know anything about him why would i even say that i have no
he likes drugs uh i don't think any heart yeah probably not anything hard
i'm trying to think under 40 is hard. That's the best part.
I just looked up fattest celebrities.
So I can find one that's
young.
Val Kilmer? Nah, I'm going to say
no. He won't die soon.
He's well over 42.
Mike Tyson is on this list? What a shit list.
Get out of here.
Yeah, I think Mike's in pretty good shape.
Yeah, I'm sure he is.
I'm going Kirk Douglas.
He's the top of the list. I didn't realize he was 99.
Jesus.
He was my first...
10 or 15 years ago.
He's all messed up.
He was my first dick in the first death pool.
Dude, Donald Trump
is 7th on this list.
He has to be right.
Look at his age and the fact that there's a lot of people
who want to kill him.
I think either presidential candidate might be
a solid choice for this death pool.
Not a bad choice, yeah.
I agree.
They are under constant supervision the thing about trump is i i don't know his vp that well but my wife hates his
vp even more than trump i mean yeah and i don't know much about pence at all i think i don't know
about him at all other than he looked like he was having a panic attack sitting behind Hillary when she started coughing and didn't stop coughing for like four minutes.
Kept like looking down like, I've got a fucking Ricola here.
Should I get up and give it to her?
Or is that going to piss her off?
Why don't I get yelled at again?
Oh, my God.
I got honeydew sweet.
Oh, shit.
Is that the one she likes?
Oh, God.
I don't want to get yelled at again.
Does she really have a four-minute coughing streak? A four-minute coughing fit. she likes oh god i don't want to get yelled at again like until eventually you see four minute
coughing streets a four minute coughing fit and it was like i was listening to some of it today
and it wasn't like uh healthy oh it was like like the way you'd picture like a witch coughing
like cackling almost like it was the bad coughing fit. That was one of the souls trying to escape.
She was having to
force it down to stifle it back in.
I know you said four minutes, but
do you think it was a whole minute?
It was
at the very beginning
of her speech, and it took her multiple minutes
to get back on track.
It was an actual
coughing fit and it wasn't the first she'd had that day she was interviewed before at later than
that in the day and she had to be like can someone bring me some water like you know it's like oh it
was allergies and then on the fucking internet like a bunch of sleuths were like i looked up
the cdc allergy report for fucking cincinnati yesterday. It says that levels were moderate.
This is all you need on the debate stage is for Trump to say, look,
she can't even swallow her own lies.
Look at this.
She's choking on her own lies.
Some of these lines Kyle comes
up with would be like zingers that would
go down in history. It's so easy.
I don't know why they don't write these down.
When you're nana nana boo-booing on a global stage,
you don't have to be witty or smart.
You just got to point out the obvious.
You put a mic in front of someone, it's so much better.
I see fighters.
I watch a lot of fight stuff.
And they're like, oh, this guy's really smooth on the mic.
This guy's so funny.
This guy's that.
He is not.
Your standards are just low gloriously low the
conor mcgregor says the same six bullshit lines like again and again and again and people eat it
up for three years now if trump said look at this she can't even swallow her own lies then oh my
gosh like it would it would go down with the reagan thing when he said he won't hold his
opponent's experience inexperience against him or when he said he won't hold his opponent's inexperience against him.
Or when he said he paid.
He's like, I paid for the microphone.
He had a couple of them.
Reagan was great.
I don't remember that one.
Ah, Reagan.
He paid for the event hall or something like that.
He had footed the bill for whatever reason.
And I guess maybe they were saying his time was up or something.
His line was something like, I paid for this microphone.
I'm going to talk on it or something like that.
Wow.
Reagan was always smooth.
Yeah, Reagan had a bunch of smooth ones.
I can't wait for the debates.
And my prediction is that on policy, the difference between them shows.
Trump is truly uneducated.
And for some reason, he thinks that you can too much and and come off as robotic or something so he's going to go into these debates i think
really not knowing what the fuck he's talking about from the hip but is that how you win no he
started using uh the uh prompter hasn't he yeah yeah but there's no prompter in the debate. So Trump will look like a fool on the issues.
But, gosh, he might zing her.
And Al Gore lost by, like, sighing too much.
And they were always giving him shit about looking stiff.
So then he wore a flannel.
Then they're like, oh, my God, can you believe it?
He's trying not to look stiff.
And it's like, what do you people want?
How do I change the topic?
I don't know. I'm looking forward to the debates. And it's like, what do you people want? How do I change the topic? I don't know.
I'm looking forward to the debates.
Yeah, me too.
I think that he could zinger his way into winning in the polls.
I would love to see that.
Or at least, here's what I...
We're definitely going to get Trump saying mean things to Hillary to her face,
and we'll get to watch that no matter what happens.
And that makes all of this worth it.
It's funny now that the polls are swinging in Trump's favor.
No, I'm not saying that he's ahead.
I'm saying that a lot of polls do show him.
Yeah, a few polls do show him ahead.
I think overwhelmingly it's way too close to tell.
They're really close now.
And now all of a sudden all the huge Trump supporters are, like, talking about the polls.
Whereas, like, three weeks later it was like, these don't matter.
All that matters is that a bunch of fuckers showed up in Baton Rouge and walked into this convention hall.
And I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm sure that there's some point to be made there about your big rallies.
But the polls do matter.
And now that they're seeing what they want a little bit out of the polls it's like oh okay look at fucking this one it's like oh yeah the one that you said was completely corrupt and
ridiculous 14 days ago yeah some cnn poll had uh trump ahead it's like oh yeah say what you want
about cnn i guess you like their polls today but um uh that wasn't directed at taylor it might sound
like trump's been telling
his people not to watch cnn he says he's gonna turn it off yeah don't watch it it's lies i didn't
know trump was saying that but i have seen it on reddit a ton it's great turn it off what was i
gonna say uh oh oh so it appears that hillary's ahead by like three or four percent so some of
the polls have her ahead by like seven and some of the polls have her behind by like
1 because these things get to be like
5% off.
That's just where it is.
But you know what? You go back
a month and a half and she's ahead by like
12%.
She needs to fix this.
She hit a whole new peak in unpopularity.
Over this
past weekend I was at my grandparents' house,
and so Fox News was just on as it is,
and I just kind of laughed a couple times because the big story was like,
Hillary Clinton hits new heights with unlikability,
making her and Donald Trump the two least liked candidates in the past 37 years.
What do you think about that?
And they're like well it
definitely shows that nobody likes them thank you like it was like and it was like that oh it was
just funny seeing that be the reported thing of everyone's vote seems to be a lesser of two evils
vote at this point aside from like a core contingent of people who for some indiscernible
reason like hillary clinton and a core group of people who really
do think that donald trump is like the solution like the guy like not just oh he's new let's try
something new like no he is the fucking guy what about this guy who's new no no this guy it's like
oh like i feel like you could put any reality show star in Trump's position and the arguments would still stand almost.
Or maybe it's because Trump has such a storied history of being in the limelight and business success.
Who was the guy that first won Survivor?
Richard Hammond or something?
Richard Hatch.
Richard Hatch won.
Jeff Probst was the host.
Not the Top Gear guy.
Okay.
That's his name, Richard Hammond.
I survived Survivor.
I wanted to see Richard hatch in this thing,
like planting seeds, building alliances.
Maybe he could be president.
Yeah, you just show little off-the-corner things
with a shaky cam as he's talking to one of Trump's aides.
Hillary's winning and she's a felon?
Well, she hasn't been convicted.
He has.
He did time for not paying taxes on that.
She's an undocumented felon.
He won that million bucks and didn't pay taxes on it.
Like, 8 million people watched you win, bro.
You didn't think somebody who worked for the IRS saw that show?
Yeah, Hillary is a documented felon.
She just hasn't been charged with anything because she's Hillary Clinton.
We need some term for her.
Above the law. Okay. I i guess you know they have undocumented
immigrant right instead of like illegal immigrant what would she be like an undocumented
um something i don't know i just prosecuted pre-prosecution pre-prosecuted uh let's come
up with something we'll come up with something.
We'll come up with something and then we'll start a hashtag.
You guys all need to get behind it.
Thank you. That's how we're going to win this.
Dude, he's winning with, like, zingers and memes.
Like, that's the core of his campaign.
Well, and Hillary beats herself through her history of just apparently not being that healthy right now
and being shady as fuck for decades.
And I feel like trump does when
hillary was at her best right like go back um i don't know what to call it six weeks like whenever
she was peaking she wasn't doing anything good right trump was just doing bad stuff trump's going
back and forth with the parents of that like golden soldier thing i forgot the details of it
trump's you know running off the mouth about this or that
and every news story is about what trump said next and trump is like why aren't you talking about her
it's like dude just yesterday you insulted the parents of a fallen soldier just yesterday you
did this like you're the biggest fucking retard you lost me oh no yeah i lost your audio did
everyone kyle can you hear no you're back're back. Okay. You're back. Anyway, when Hillary was doing her best, I felt like it wasn't through her own clever campaign or people agreeing with her or being inspired by her.
It was just Trump fumbling a bunch.
She was fumbling by default.
Yeah.
I could have beat Trump during those two weeks just by fucking not talking like Hillary did.
And now, I don't know, Trump's not feeding the haters.
I see it kind of like Trump, the entire campaign, has been on, like, the bottom of a set of stairs to winning.
And repeatedly, he's, like, gotten one step up and then not just face planted, but, like, fallen and, like, broken some teeth.
And everybody's, like, laughing at him.
He's like, I'm still trying. And, like, now as he gets, he's getting like on the third step
and he's like, okay, if I don't chase every little ball that rolls by, then maybe I can keep climbing
the set of stairs. And everybody's like, there you go, Donald. There you go. Good for you, buddy.
You're doing it. And Hillary, on the other hand, has her masonry work standing behind a wall of
lies, deception, and blood,
and is just trying, like, oh, fuck, another patch!
Oh, I've got to get this going! I've got to get this!
Oh, there's something over there!
Oh, Bill! Bill, run away for a minute!
People are remembering that you raped a bunch of women!
Oh, Jesus, run over here!
Oh, they're not talking about me covering up that rape anymore.
Okay, okay.
Oh, they're talking about health.
I've got to run over here and patch this up.
Oh, man, oh, Saudi Arabia has weapons deals!
How are people finding this out? And, I gotta run over here and patch this up. Oh, Saudi Arabia has weapons deals, how are people finding this out?
Just desperately trying to patch this,
and it's only a matter of time.
It's a shame that it's only a couple months left to go,
because she cannot maintain this pace
with all the shit she's done in the past.
It's going to get traction eventually.
I think the more she speaks,
the better it is for Donald Trump.
I think when Donald Trump opens his mouth,
he's entertaining no matter what, And that's a good thing. Nobody's entertained by anything
Hillary ever says, ever, ever, ever. But a lot of people will be turned off by every
other word she fucking says, because it's hard to even listen to her. Her voice is a
bit abrasive. Her laugh is a bit of a cackle. Maybe it's just because I grew up being screamed at by a shrill woman that when I hear that lady talk, I just feel this impending doom in the pit of my soul.
I just feel the tears coming from deep inside, and I push them down, and then it becomes a ball of hate every time she talks.
I can't even think of a thing Hillary says.
Every time Hillary's on camera, it's about her coughing.
It's about her.
And I must be at the wrong sources.
She must be talking somewhere to someone.
She's coughing.
She's like avoiding.
I remember she's on the plane with an impromptu press conference.
Right.
And I'm like, oh, cool.
And then they say, hey, what do you think about you being behind on the polls?
Oh, look at the time.
Look at the time.
Got to go.
You're on a plane bitch you're
not going anywhere you just left yeah he's like jumping out the media gives her such ridiculous
softballs like just recently like during that like second coughing fit by the plane where this is the
first time the media has had access to hillary like close up the way they do with trump in a
long fucking time like she just doesn't hand out these opportunities and so when they're
she's like alright I'll take a question or two
and they ask like how was your
memorial day and how
are you feeling did you have a good weekend
it's like my god
it's just like when they get to Bill they're like how's
it gonna feel being a first
the first husband huh
instead of
a lot more interns if you know what I mean.
Instead of asking
about when he met with
what was the attorney, was the attorney
general he met with at that airport?
Yeah, Loretta Lynch, that whole scandal.
Instead of asking a question about that, it'll be some
quirky thing about how he's going to be
her first
husband or whatever. It's come out that you're a
bit of a Knicks fan. And it's like,
well, guilty as charged, they're not very good,
but I like them. And it's like,
that's the kind of shit they ask the Clintons.
Is that a real example?
No, I just made that up about business.
The real example is,
how was your Memorial Day?
And did you, like, have a good weekend?
Memorial Day was in May.
I always get Memorial Day and Labor Day mixed a good weekend? Memorial Day was in May. I always get Memorial Day
and Labor Day mixed up.
Dude, I like it when the people on Facebook
post the caskets and like,
don't forget, this wasn't about a three-day weekend.
It fucking literally was.
It was Labor Day, not Memorial Day.
It was about a three-day weekend.
You just gotta hope that that person
is a real troll
and just move along. You can't even engage that that person is a real troll and just move along.
You can't even engage with that kind of shit.
I've been playing a bunch of Civ with the PKA Steam group.
I've been playing with them.
I think I'm like three for four.
Do you think you're on top of your Civ game now?
Or are you getting to where you were in the spring?
Man, I'm doing real good right now. I don't know. I'm doing. Are you on top of your sieve game now, or are you getting to where you were in the spring? Man, I'm doing real good right now.
I don't know.
I'm doing really good.
Like, when we play, you know,
the score, we always say, doesn't mean much.
But what we really mean is,
if you're ahead by 10 points, it doesn't mean shit.
But if you're ahead by 500 points,
then something has seriously went wrong here.
And that's usually the case.
If we're playing, like, a six-player free-for-all,
I'll have like a thousand
points, and second place is like 700
or something. And then I'll have 1500
and second place is like a thousand or something.
I lost to Wildcat,
but I think that's
my only loss.
Maybe I'm like
three for five.
But both of my losses, I felt like, weren't indicative
of bad play from me. I haven't been beaten
soundly. I've just kind of been
trickled. It only counts if it's a domination
loss. More
or less. I feel like
I'm outperforming them in like
nine out of ten categories and then like
one category they beat me in. Yeah, I feel like
domination, and this is from someone who's very
green with the game still,
but I feel like that is the hardest kind of victory to get am i wrong yeah you are it's the easiest one to get
like it's the one where like you can just build like like getting enough culture and tourism to
get that culture wins fucking hard uh diplomacy might be the easiest but only against ai if you're
playing against me then i'm just gonna like buy off your city state allies then war you so you
won't have the votes or i'll just kill your city states i don't care seems like if you're playing against me, then I'm just going to buy off your city-state allies, then war you so you won't have the votes.
Or I'll just kill your city-states. I don't care.
Seems like if you're playing six-player or eight-player, whatever the standard is,
and you want to win by domination victory,
then you have to conquer their cities and then mitigate the happiness and take control of those.
It seems just like a ton to manage.
It is. It's a lot to manage.
But what happens is you take one city.
What happens is you get to crossbows or whatever tech you're going to use to fight with,
and you go ahead and capture at least one more empire.
And if your army's healthy enough and it's in good enough shape,
and the next neighbor is weak, you just keep on going and moving your blob around. And you only
stop when someone gets ahead in tech
or production.
You can always press F9 and you can see
if you're going to win or not, more or less.
I like Domination Victory
because I feel like
that's what the game is really
supposed to be. Domination Victory
is most indicative of who is winning
the game all the
other ones are kind of like i don't know shortcuts to winning yeah it doesn't feel like the same as
winning because there were times like i played an ai game like last week by myself just trying
to figure it out and my empire was doing great i was really happy with it i'm like all right look
at this like my score is on top like i got a decent army i'm okay okay. I'm just going to try and build towards science or whatever I was trying.
And then it was like, oh, looks like you don't have enough delegates, motherfucker.
So Greece wins.
And it's like, what?
They didn't fuck with me at all.
I haven't had qualms with Greece this whole game.
Well, see, that's just because you don't know how to play that part of the game.
See, it wasn't like there wasn't a warning for that happening.
Oh, I'm sure there were.
Yeah, there were warning bells going off about that for like the game. See, it wasn't like there wasn't a warning for that happening. There had been, yeah, there were
warning bells going off about that
for like three hours.
You know, you just got to be able to read
the signs and like, you know, there's a vote that
comes up every now and then. You'd be like, holy shit, Greece has
18 votes and I got three.
I gotta do something about that. Or
you know, eventually they're gonna have 34 votes or whatever
you need to vote yourself world leader. So
diplomatic is easiest if no one is directly trying to counter your diplomatic victory.
But if they are and they know how, then it's kind of impossible.
You kind of got to sneak a diplomatic victory in like a curveball or something.
But a domination victory, it's kind of a tried and true formula.
You tech until you're ahead in production and or hammers and or science.
And then you build a lot of troops and kill, kill, kill.
So domination is the only victory that you can't win in the dark of the night.
That's what I should have said before, right?
When domination victory happens,
it's because like you and I went head to head and one of us came out on top.
A technology victory can happen because you didn't notice what i was doing and
the same is true with a lot of these other things and sure and now they're all part of the game
they're all legit wins like i get that but i just feel like domination is the one that i don't know
it was just it was the purest victory and my favorite kinds of domination like attack strategies
and stuff are the ones that kind of do just come out of nowhere.
If you can see my blob of troops slowly creeping forward, you know it's coming.
You know what's up. But if all of a sudden
I just hit your city with like
five ships of the line from the water
and just drop its defenses in one
turn and then hit it with a frigate and it's just
mine, you're like, whoa! I didn't get to play!
I didn't even get to play! He just took it!
He just took it! He just took it.
That's really fun.
People get upset about stuff like that.
That does sound like fun.
And the thing is, the sandcastle analogy you came up with a year ago is so perfect.
You're crafting this beautiful sandcastle, and you're so proud of it.
It's really becoming something.
And you're like, you know what?
I think my sandcastle compares pretty favorably with all these other sandcastles.
And then Kyle says, you know what?
I agree.
I especially like that tower over there.
Now it's mine.
Now that is part of my sandcastle.
Not only is my sandcastle better now, yours is worse.
A twofer, you know?
That's how everything is in the game game and that's the beauty of it every time
you like get an advantage you're also providing a disadvantage to your enemy like it's not just
that you got better they got worse there's it's you're always doing that you're taking you're
taking a you're taking one step up and kicking them a step down that's partly true when you build
um wonders wonders thank you yeah because some of the wonders you can only have one of.
Taylor knows this, but viewers might not.
So when you come up and you're like,
all right, now I got the Colosseum.
Well, there's only one Colosseum.
Hopefully I'm right on all this.
You're not.
Ah, fuck it.
Well, then what's one that...
Pyramids.
Thank you.
All right, so I got the pyramids.
And I think the pyramids make your workers better
or something like that.
Plus two free workers. What's that? Plus two free workers. So I got the pyramids, and I think the pyramids make your workers better or something like that.
Plus two free workers.
What's up?
Plus two free workers.
And yeah, they work harder.
Yeah, and now that I have pyramids, you can't.
And hopefully you spent your last 12 turns trying to build them because now you're fucked.
Now you've lost 12 turns or whatever you otherwise would have had. It keeps some paltry sum of gold, like a few gold for, I don't even know,
maybe a gold per hammer or something. I don't know what the ratio is, but it's never what you want
because you wanted all that. You wanted the
pyramids. Yeah.
Yeah. I really like the wonder
thing, but I actually didn't know.
I thought that once I clicked on a wonder
to build it, that that shut it off for everybody.
I didn't know that everybody could be building the same
wonder, and then it's just whoever gets it first. It shuts it off for everybody. I didn't know that everybody could be building the same wonder and then it's just whoever gets it first.
It shuts it off for your teammates.
So that keeps me and you
from interfering with one another when we're playing
two versus two. But for
everyone else in the game, and this especially applies
in Free For All, of course, because there are no teammates,
you don't know.
The other night, I beat Peter Baelish.
I stomped you, Peter Baelish. You got your shit
pushed in. It was embarrassing.
I took every fucking city two decks ahead.
It was great.
So what happened was I asked him.
He got this incredible city spot in the desert, all these desert hills.
And if you build Petra, it gives you plus one food and plus one hammer for every desert tile that isn't a flood valley next to a river or whatever.
It's a really nice thing to have.
He's building it in his second city, though,
and I see this, and I ask him,
hey, you building Petra?
He's like, oh, yeah,
and I can see how many hammers he's doing.
I'm doing the math in my head.
It's going to be a while, like 15, 16 turns.
I'm like, okay.
I get my culture tree filled out.
Why would he tell you the truth?
I guess he didn't know that I was going to do what I did.
I fill out my Liberty culture tree, get my free great engineer,
and I build Petra in one turn in my capital.
And he just goes, no!
It didn't benefit me whatsoever.
I wasted an entire great engineer to put it in my capital
where it improved one single tile by one food and one hammer.
I got a minuscule, almost worthless, almost nothing,
but I denied him a huge bonus,
and it probably gave me the win in the end.
I beat everybody in that one.
Petra is the one that Chiz got aggravated at me
for building my first game because I didn't know.
And I don't think it helped me very much at all, but I kept it.
It would have helped him greatly.
The game that you and I were
playing earlier, well, I guess the one we're in
right now, I don't think there's a Petra. Yeah, yeah, the game we're
in right now, I'm
aiming toward Petra. It's one of those
semi-early wonders that
gives you an incredible boost if you have a
desert city and desert
cities otherwise kind of suck.
It's real nice to get.
We've got a good setup in this game, according to you,
that we're playing right now.
Yeah, we can do whatever we want here.
We'll be able to do some Navy stuff.
I've been having a lot of fun playing Civ.
I'm looking forward to Civ VI.
I've been watching Filthy play.
Oh, and I definitely got to change my mind about Modern Warfare Remastered,
but we could probably save that for PKI.
Yeah, we should save that for PKI.
Because all the gun stats are the same?
No, because I watched all the videos.
I got to see something other than just a Twitter
cell phone capture bullshit
and what someone wrote on there.
And after seeing Hutch play
and OpticPomage or whatever his name is
and maybe one other guy
play multiple games and stream a bit,
my mind has changed.
It's pretty much COD 4.
Yeah, but better.
A lot of improvements. You get kill cams now.
You get final kill cams.
Oh, okay, yeah.
I was like, what improvements? There's no room.
Domination switches sides now
so you play both sides.
That's nice.
All the perks and everything stay the same uh
oh the m40 acog from what i've heard might not still always be a one hit kill to the toe
might not be doing that 140 damage or whatever it's doing with stopping power
if when i played solo a team of decent snipers was actually hard to play
against and i know they say it shouldn't be right like snipers bad weapon etc but you just like you
can hardly cross the street it would seem like i haven't what's that team goes juggernaut go
juggernaut aka juggernaut oh really juggernaut anything but i like i like silence jug uh jug
p90 uh juggernaut aka jug p90 was my anything, but I like Silence Jug P90.
Juggernaut AK.
Yeah, Jug P90 was my favorite.
You know what would make COD 4 better, according to me?
Ten classes.
I would like that.
I'm sure they'll have some sort of unlock thing.
They changed the audio on the Desert Eagle.
It's now the Modern Warfare 3 audio on the Desert Eagle. But they left a lot of those random gun stats the same, like the AK-74U,
same, you know,
weird intricacies with that.
The red dot on the AK still
lowers the damage on it.
The sound of the 74U is different now.
It sounds more like an Uzi.
In COD 4, I'd have
like, let's see, I don't know,
say an M16 class, an MP5
class, I'd have an anti-aircraft class, a jug class, like a jug P90.
And then, like, that's four. I don't know where else I'm headed with this, but it seemed like I quickly, I couldn't have all the classes I want.
Oh, I liked having a class just for shipment. I had a shipment class.
Here's what I'll say about that. I like it. I like it, and here's why.
It's like how many cards are in your deck when you're
going to a magic game, right?
If you're allowed to come in there
with fucking 50 fucking cards
in a big stack, it's like, well shit,
you can just do anything now. You're prepared for any scenario.
But when it's only five,
you've got to really narrow down what's
the best of the best. That's why everybody was
playing with MP5s and M16s.
You don't have any room for your wacky, silenced Uzi class most of the time.
I feel like that argument works against you, though.
I like it.
Then everyone had MP5s and M16s.
And also, another thing about having more classes
is I felt like it benefited the more knowledgeable player.
And when I played COD a lot, that was typically me.
I'm not saying I was the
best player out there, but
I knew gun stats better than most.
I spent a lot of time in-game.
I knew my shit.
I spent a lot of time watching YouTube
videos. Knowledgeable players
would benefit from more classes.
I messaged
Impulse and Socrates. I was like,
do you still play Call of Duty?
It's been a few years, you know, like seven or something like that.
It's been a decade.
Just one more game, right?
Nine years.
Yeah, I feel like it's the Blues Brothers and we're getting the band back together or something like that.
I really hope they get back.
They haven't been on Skype, either one of them, since I messaged them, but I'm
hoping to hear back from them. That'd be cool if I could get those guys
playing. I've got a friend, too. Same thing.
It was him
and another guy and me
who somehow made up the Raw Dog
crew. This is like before YouTube.
I'm in the Raw Dog crew. It's like
they're not using Condom Crew.
Yeah, we
used to play pretty well.
I had a friend that,
Big Diz or something like that.
He was a real great guy.
I tried to introduce him to poor Wings of Redemption.
And he said he would never play with him again.
It was just such a bad experience
that they were oil and water, I guess.
Yeah, I can
see that. That was the old Wings.
This is like
2007 Wings or something.
2009 it would be.
Yeah, he's changed so much.
But yeah, I'm looking forward to this game,
man. It looks like a lot of fun.
It looks just like what I remembered.
Everything looks like it feels the same. The way they move
around, the way they clamber over objects,
all that stuff. I like the
weapon inspect. You press down
on the D-pad, you inspect your
weapon a la Counter-Strike.
Give it a little look-see. With the
MP5, you eject the magazine,
flick it around your hand once, then stick it back
in. Also, gold weapons for every weapon
in the game now.
It'll be fun. i learned something about i learned something about cs go and i probably have the details of this fucked up but apparently like there's a one in a thousand chance that you
reload differently are you familiar with this dude it has these amazing reload animations where the guy will look at the gun, magic trick it, and then it comes back and now it's reloaded.
Or he'll take a magazine.
I'm probably fucking it up.
But swirl it on his palm so it does that and put it in.
It's the exact same time.
And what I'm hearing is every one in a thousand.
It's not like every thousandth, but there's a one in a thousand it's not like every thousandth
but there's a one in a thousand chance it'll happen
and you get it and you're like whoa I get the
cool reload animation I'd love it if
COD did that
I did see recently
I saw like a battlefield thing where I guess
maybe if you do like
10,000 reloads on your gun
then you unlock the special reload and he was showing
the difference between the speed loader on a revolver and like what happens after 10,000 reloads on your gun, then you unlock the special reload, and he was showing the difference between the speed loader on a revolver
and what happens after 10,000 reloads,
and he just opened the gun
and had a handful of bullets
and just went,
and threw them through the air into it.
That must be what I saw.
All right, that was Battlefield?
I believe it was,
although I saw a Reddit GIF,
and that's my source.
I think I saw the same post. I'm not really confident, and I thought it was CSGO, and that's my source. You guys saw the same post.
I'm not really confident, and I thought it was CSGO, and I'm not sure.
But that's a really neat idea.
Yeah.
Lots of good games coming out, man.
There's like three or four big games that are coming out that I'm actually excited for.
Battlefield 1 looks so cool.
The more footage I watch, the cooler it looks.
I mean, it looks like a lot of fun.
Okay.
I'm watching this guy snipe with this anti-tank rifle with iron
sights and he is just destroying people all over the map really far he's like oh what's that over
there and he gets the kill it's like holy shit he was so far away so there's battlefield one uh cod
remastered 22 whatever the fuck that is. Fuck 22, COD Remastered.
Okay, COD Remastered.
What else are you excited about?
Civ 6.
Okay, Civ 6.
That's it, those are the three, right?
Oh, Halo Wars 2 comes out, but that's not too fair.
I don't give a shit.
That's the next thing I'm excited about.
It's an RTS, though.
Oh, really?
Well, then maybe I will give a shit about that.
So you're either the brute controlling
the Covenant side, or you're the
American general sending in Spartans
and ODST and all that stuff.
I want a nice casual game.
You know what I want to come out in particular?
There's a new Worms.
Oh, Worms is interesting too.
But I want a Portal 3. That's a game I really enjoyed.
Oh, you know
what would be incredible in Portal?
Fucking VR.
Oh, yeah.
Because you would step through the fucking portals
and it would be real.
There's a teleport mode to get around
having to walk long distances.
You're always near whatever you want to be next to.
Whatever there is, you can always bring it up to you
and then take those steps.
You could walk through the portals.
It would make the puzzle feel way more real.
Yeah. It'd be
harder though, I think. Because you could look around
like you were actually in those rooms.
And you'd have a portal gun in your hand and you'd
boom! Dude, portal
in VR would be so
next level. Yeah.
That would be awesome. Wait, who makes portal?
Steam, Valve, whatever.
Perfect! That's who makes the fucking Vive.
Really?
Yeah, Steam partnered with HTC.
HTC does the manufacturing, but it's a Steam product.
Well, they have to have that on their mind.
That sounds incredible, yeah.
I hope that happens.
Well, I'll write Gabe a letter.
I'm going to say, Gabe, you probably hadn't thought of this,
but Portal would be really neat in VR.
He'll say, thank you so much for the suggestion.
There's a Gabe Civ.
There's a Civilization mod where you run the Civ of Gabe,
and it has a lot of bonuses and unique units
that would be unique to him.
There's mods like that for anything you can imagine, though.
There's lots of Lord of the Rings mods
and Game of Thrones mods.
You can play as any...
You can be the elves or the dwarves or whatever.
And they have...
They're free on the workshop.
I'll have to get that. It sounds like fun.
Alright. Painkiller Nearly,
episode 108. I am not dead.