Painkiller Already - PKN #115

Episode Date: November 4, 2016

It's PKN time baby!...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 We're live. And we're live! So here we are. Oh, there's a thing people need to know. You see how Kyle and Taylor are frozen right now, yet I am not? They're not frozen in real life. Kyle does not. Okay, Taylor's frozen in real life. You can't see it. If I move my Skype around while we record, they're only pretending to be frozen now. They're properly animated.
Starting point is 00:00:26 And then the second I stop moving it, they're stuck in time. So what I'm going to try and do is literally just move this Skype window. You can see it in the reflection of my like thing. I'm sure no one will mind that. You guys are hip to this, right? You just got to jiggle it a little and you'll get a glimpse of us occasionally. So let's get to topics. Let's do. Let's get to topics.
Starting point is 00:00:46 I flew again, but I didn't fly today. I'm not sure if that's interesting to people. I guess, quickly, my friend came over this weekend and we flew Sunday morning. I was very excited. I had my second flight from the house. So that's a big deal for me. I was going to fly today. There was no wind at all and a little
Starting point is 00:01:06 bit of wind helps you get off the ground you know it's a few miles an hour you don't have to run and my wife wasn't home she had like errands to run and now that it's all said and done and the sun is setting i'm like did i puss out is it okay to puss out like i don't know how i feel about the whole thing but it was opted i was like this was kind of a hard take off maybe i made a smart call you know it's it's not the kind of place where you prove your man in my opinion the thing you're doing is so on the edge that that there should be lots and lots of like nah not today there should be lots of that yeah um because i mean just do the math like like like there are lots of days that just literally are not the day. There's lots of things that can happen that make that more dangerous than it should be.
Starting point is 00:01:49 If you're a matador, I don't judge you for having a weekend. Because you can't be going all day fighting bulls. Because it's going to go wrong. You go in there. You're like, you go in a stable. You see the bull. He's red-eyed, crazy as fuck. He's fighting the boars.
Starting point is 00:02:03 You're like, this is not a good weekend to be a matador a vacation you're watching on tv as sean pablo gets gored to fucking death in front of 15 000 there were a couple things lining up and like at the same time that made me say no and as i talked to you i feel a little better about it i don't like that jackie wasn't home you know not that she helps me launch or anything, but if I'm not there, she could take me to the hospital if things go wrong. Instead, she had to
Starting point is 00:02:31 meet Hope and take Colin somewhere and whatever. What you're describing is not pussing out in any way. It's taking a reasonable it's being responsible with your flying. If you were like, Jackie's not here and it's just me and Colin. Colin, go handle yourself. Yeah, these are precautions for you. Like if you were like, you know, Jackie's not here, and it's just me and Colin.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Colin, go handle yourself, you know. Fuck it, I'm taking off. You toss Colin a radio and disappear into the sky. He's just like, here's a walkie-talkie. Good luck finding my channel. You know, fly away. Yeah, all right, all right. Yeah, so I didn't fly today, but I did fly Sunday, and it was cool.
Starting point is 00:03:03 And now I've had two flights from the house, and that makes me feel good. Every day. All right. Yeah. So I didn't fly today, but I did fly Sunday and it was cool. And now I've had two flights from the house and that makes me feel good. Every day is a possibility. Today, they're just a couple of things. There was no wind at all and there was no one there in case something went wrong. So I decided not to fly. Good deal. But that's the thing. You were worried about Supreme Court justices? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's because that's the biggest fear.
Starting point is 00:03:20 What we're saying is, you know, we've kind of we've pretty much I mean, it, it's clear that Clinton's going to win, like 97% sure over here, I would say. And so what I was saying was, you know, this might be, this isn't the end of the world, is what I was saying. Because my biggest fear from Clinton is her Supreme, I talk about, you know, she's anti-gun. But what I specifically mean by that is that she is going to appoint Supreme Court justices who are anti-gun, and they're going to change our Constitution. They're going to change our laws in ways that we don't want. They're going to do permanent damage rather than some temporary damage like her husband did back in the 90s. He did some temporary damage with the assault weapons ban, but a Republican got back in. He said, look at this.
Starting point is 00:04:04 You're banning guns that look scary. You guys are idiots. Let's let these sportsmen have their firearms back, and let's let people defend themselves in a reasonable manner. And so they repealed it. And now I've got magazines that say for law enforcement only, because it holds 30 rounds, because it
Starting point is 00:04:20 came back during the ban. It's bullshit. So I'm not afraid. So I'm afraid that she's going to put someone in there who's going to change our laws, change our constitution, something like that. But we have cowards like John McCain in Congress who was, it's a good thing he was captured and made it back home
Starting point is 00:04:35 and didn't die because maybe he can hold things up. Why is he a coward? Because he was captured, right? Trump didn't call him a coward. He just said he liked guys who didn't get captured. He would have went that far. He said he wasn't a war hero. Yes, that's what it was.
Starting point is 00:04:51 A proper war hero is successful at war, not captured. I think that war heroes should be people who did get captured. If you were that good at war, you would have never gotten captured. But fuck, Rambo was getting captured left and right. Come on, man. This is bullshit. So yeah, I think that from what I'm hearing,
Starting point is 00:05:08 and I think Woody agreed a little while ago, was that the Republicans are going to be able to hold on to their chunk of Congress, and they're going to be able to hold up and obstruct Hillary Clinton Supreme Court appointees for a very long time. Yeah, the deal is, it looks like the Republicans are going to lose the Senate.
Starting point is 00:05:26 They are going to keep the House, but the House has nothing to do with Supreme Court nominations. Like, they don't have a say. But it takes 60 votes to overcome a filibuster. And filibusters now, if I have my facts right, don't even require filibustering. You know that thing where they go up and they read, like, children's nursery rhymes nursery rhymes and shit like that's just for show um you can just like do kind of an automatic
Starting point is 00:05:49 filibuster that's just for show take a nap i'm pretty sure yeah that's ridiculous you should have to stand up there and talk no that's not the rule i thought that they had to stay i thought they had to be present they had to stay there in that chamber and and the deal was that they had to be present. They had to stay there in that chamber. And the deal was that they had to verbally relinquish their turn. So the guy up, the speaker's like, the congressman from Georgia will end his turn. And it's like Civ. He's like, nope. I'm going to sit here until you all quit out. Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:06:23 You should have put a turn timer on this bitch. I don't think so. I think they can literally just declare a filibuster and leave. Well, that's bullshit. Filibuster. Yeah. Like Michael Scott. Filibuster.
Starting point is 00:06:38 That's a little bit disheartening to learn because I had no idea. I thought that when you saw those people up there being like, and then when I was 14, I went to my first Cardinals game. Love baseball, have ever since. I believe the score to that game. I'll read you everyone who scored in that game. I've got the box score that my father and I took down. A little hard to read, though.
Starting point is 00:06:59 I was eight. I'm going to now read the Wikipedia page of every current player of the St louis blues to you like that kind of thing that's what i want to believe happens but if you can just declare a filibuster it seems like like what's the point in doing it definitely situations where the old point in not doing it i think there's definitely situations where what we think of is that as like a filibuster we have to sit up there and keep talking forever still exists in some maybe in state government maybe maybe in some, maybe in state government,
Starting point is 00:07:25 maybe in some local governments and stuff like that. So I Googled it real quick. Since 1975, senators have not needed to stand up on the floor and make their case to colleagues or in constituents in order to halt legislation. Instead, these virtual filibusters can be conducted in absentia, which you guys know, but that means when you're not there. can be conducted in absentia, which you guys know, but that means when you're not there. And so, yeah, they can just like press the filibuster button and do that.
Starting point is 00:07:54 So in essence, any single senator. But oh, well, there's something called a cloture vote. So if they get 60 votes, they can end the filibuster. But the Democrats are unlikely to have 60 votes. You know why they changed the rule, right? There was a female senator who felt like it was unfair because she was menstruating and she had to leave the hall i believe you made that up no that's true oh is it really yeah no no god damn it kyle we'll see as soon as he admits there's a chance it might be real, that's when you gotta stop. Because if you go too far pressing a joke, he might beat you up. No, I... You gotta stop as soon as possible.
Starting point is 00:08:31 When you double-teamed me, I was starting to doubt myself, but I didn't buy that. That's all I wanted was to get that shadow of doubt that it was a female senator's menstruation that enforced that rule. Dude, I honestly wasn't 100% sure you were lying until I saw you smirk. I was like, you know what? That seems like something that could happen, where she'd be like, I'm bleeding down my leg. Can I go to the bathroom? And they're like, no, you must continue. So, so anyway,
Starting point is 00:08:54 to get this out, the Senate will have at least 40 votes that the Republicans will, and with that, I guess 41 votes, and because they'll have 41 votes they won't be able to just kill their filibusters and they'll both have to kind of agree on a judge.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Or not agree at all and wait for the next Republican to get in and then they just get their way, right? That would be pretty extreme. None of the Republicans now believe what they're doing is right. Like they're making this argument.
Starting point is 00:09:27 McCain's surrogate had to come and temper what he said because McCain was like. Well, let me get this out. There was a Republican talking and he was like, you know, none of us think what we're doing is right here. You know, the argument we're making that since the president only had a year left on his term, that he't get to support a like nominated justice is ridiculous if this president was a republican we would not be saying well he's only got a year left we might as well let the election carry out but since he's a democrat they're fucking with him and um none of them believe what they're doing is right so what they're talking about doing is letting obama get the next guy because they didn't really dislike him. As a
Starting point is 00:10:05 fact, I think it was Mitch McConnell who was like, you know, if he wants to get another Supreme Court justice through, it better be a guy like Gerstwin or whatever his name is. Do you guys know his name? I don't know his name, but I remember that he did put forward a somewhat moderate guy. It was a guy that a Republican leader, it might have been Ryan or Mitch McConnell, guy. It was a guy that a Republican leader, it might have been Ryan or Mitch McConnell, specifically said, it has to be a guy like him. It turned out to be him, and the Republicans are still like,
Starting point is 00:10:30 nah, let's wait and see. Maybe we'll get a Republican to win. Now that a Republican is Trump, and he's very unlikely to win, they're talking about letting Obama have this nominee. Is the way that it works that they would say,
Starting point is 00:10:46 alright, go ahead and appoint him, and Obama would go, okay, this guy that we agreed on is now a Supreme Court justice. Or would it be, alright, we allow Obama to appoint someone, and Obama could go, aha! This person! You know, the old Chucharu. What happens is, Obama can
Starting point is 00:11:02 appoint, uh, nominate somebody anytime he wants. He can nominate a guy right now. He has. And he has. It might have expired. He might need to redo it. I read that, but I'm not an expert on the process. And then the Senate votes on the guy he nominated.
Starting point is 00:11:16 And that process takes some time. But they're refusing to even look at him, though. That's the thing. Yes, that's where we are now. Yeah, Obama nominated a guy. It's not as if we're counting votes or people are lulling it over. That's where we are now. It's not as if we're counting votes or people are lulling it over.
Starting point is 00:11:30 They're refusing to do the thing where they even look at the guy and vet him. They won't even do it. They won't even consider him for the position. They're just like, we're doing other stuff. We won't be coming to that. We're just not coming. We're not going to do that thing. We're all going to be watching Rickick perry on dancing with the stars that night and depending on what team you're on either the republicans are like saving the nation by preventing this moderate from hitting the the bench or the republicans are not doing their job
Starting point is 00:11:55 that they're they're paid to do because they're supposed to be either approving or disapproving of judges but their job is like like if democrats did that to a republican president like i think they'd also say it's bad like the the senators themselves, like you said the Republicans did. But I do think that they're doing their job. Like, the job of the Republicans is to really try and push their Republican agenda. And they do whatever they can to do that. And the job of the Democrats isn't to, you know, push any agenda other than the Democratic agenda. Like, that's their job. and sometimes that means being obstructionist like when the democrats were
Starting point is 00:12:27 trying to obstruct bush doing shit like that makes sense because i i see your point but i still disagree i think that in the it while they all have their constituencies that they should be that's who they should be representing really is the is the individual voters i just got some weird audio is it just me it's just you i don't have anything yeah like i i swear we're getting both sides right here it depends on what team you're on you know like i think taylor is like hey come hook or crook doesn't matter so long as you fuck with democrats you're doing your job that's not really what i said though i said like i understand both ways like i think it's shitty what the republicans are doing i don't that's not how it was meant to work but i also understand ways like i think it's shitty what the republicans are doing i don't that's
Starting point is 00:13:05 not how it was meant to work but i also understand why they're doing it just like i would understand although i would dislike it more because i disagree with democrats more i if them i saw democrats doing this i'd be like yes they they're allowed to do this this is their prerogative this is their job like their job is to represent those big swaths of democrats out there and those swaths of democrats probably really want that agenda push. Like, they want the Democrats doing what they can and not going, oh, limp-wristed, whatever, I guess we got beat. But there's two massive issues that are at stake here.
Starting point is 00:13:36 And I feel like if I had my option, I would just never put another justice in there. Let's leave it freaking divided and make them agree, right? Or either they agree or they just butt heads and it bounces off. Like, I kind of like it that way. Yeah, sure. Because what I don't want is for Roe versus Wade to be overturned. And what I don't want is for the Second Amendment to be neutered in some way either.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Like, I don't want either of those things to happen. And if the Republicans get their way, I think they might overturn Roe versus Wade. And if the Democrats get their way, I have a lot of fear for what they might do to the Second Amendment and a number of other things. Not just the Second Amendment. Expanded social programs.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Who knows, maybe suddenly there's a new amendment and we decide that a basic wage is a human right and that everyone needs a certain percentage of... You don't know. The Republicans, when they dominated the Supreme Court,
Starting point is 00:14:37 or maybe early in Obama's term, like fresh after Bush had appointed his guys, did a couple things that were pro-business that I felt kind of bad about. You know, like the idea that businesses were people and they deserve to have free speech. That was one. There was like a manifest destiny type thing that was applied to businesses so they can take properties from individuals if they feel like a mall belongs there. And it was like, oh, yeah. It just seemed a little pro-business, anti-person.
Starting point is 00:15:10 But like Kyle says, it goes both ways. I fear what the Democrats would do with the Second Amendment. They should just let me choose. I agree with all of my positions. I agree with – honestly, I think I agree with more of your positions than I do any of these fuckers. If you get them behind closed doors and you actually talk to them about what they believe. What was 2020? If you had like some kind of truth serum and you just like sat in a room and you had like George W. Bush and Hillary Clinton and Obama and Bill Clinton and all the like McCain, all of them, you injected all of them.
Starting point is 00:15:39 And then you got like their real opinions on everything. And you're like, all right, tell me what you actually feel about abortion or race issues or this or that. I think that it wouldn't even come close. Like, I bet they are all so hoity-toity elitists. I'm different. I'm better. The peon's at the bottom. Mrs. Clinton, what's your stance on abortion?
Starting point is 00:15:58 Well, I usually like to squat. Well, I don't fuck men. Haven't since that one time in the late 70s you know needed a kid for our foundation haha you know i feel like they're just i just don't trust those people do we need a new topic i feel like we do a lot of politics we played uh i played uh on filthy stream um the night before last we played a bunch of civ uh civ six yeah how do you feel about civ six oh man i really like it do you because i Civ 6? Oh man, I really like it. Do you? Because I forget when it was. It might have been before you played it, last PKA, when you were saying that
Starting point is 00:16:32 people don't like it, but they, like you had the vibe that people didn't like it, but that they couldn't say that. Yeah, yeah, I did get that vibe some boy, but after playing it, here's the deal with Civ 6. It's really, really fun to play, and they've got a lot of new things added to the game and a lot of big improvements, especially with culture and the civics tree and the civics policies, but it's really unbalanced for multiplayer play right now. There's a couple of Civs that are just ridiculous in early military. Much, much better. The Sumerians make this war cart
Starting point is 00:17:07 with no prerequisite technology so they don't need iron or um stone or something to make a war cart as soon as they start the game they can make a war cart it's it moves either four or five hexes at a time if you don't know civ that's a lot A lot of things move one or two. So four or five is extraordinary. That's like a bomber. Because it's a classical era unit. It has no unit upkeep. So it doesn't cost you anything to have like 50 of them. Normally each unit you have is costing you like upkeep, like a couple of gold.
Starting point is 00:17:39 I think it's an ancient era because you can get it like right away. Yeah, you can. I heard classical though. Maybe I'm wrong. But no upkeep on the thing. So you can just build 50 of them and you're not losing gold automatically It also has a buff against anti horse units like spearmen and pikemen, which is what would be designed to combat it So it has no there's nothing that's even close to being on the level as it is until you get a horseman Much much farther, you know in the next era
Starting point is 00:18:06 Unlocked and you get these things from from the beginning of the game four of these things um will just conquer your city in two turns instantly uh they'll rate any unit in their way they come out of nowhere really fast so you can just eat your neighbor right at the beginning of the game and start with two capitals and if you're quick you can you can eat a third neighbor. It's absurd. So do you guys just don't let that one play in a filthy stream? Do you guys just can't have it? No. Well, I think they're banning it. They played it.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Yeah, they've been playing it. He was playing as Sumeria. That's what he was doing. He picked Sumeria. Did he win? Oh, yeah. He's like, beep, beep, war cards coming through. And he's just eating.
Starting point is 00:18:43 He eats his neighbor right at the beginning. Like I said, he expands really, really fast. If I were to play, I'd want to be his neighbor. That would be the ideal situation for Woody. Nah, man, you don't want to be that guy's neighbor. Someone killed my neighbor in the game, and it messed up my game a little bit. But I think I was in second place at the end.
Starting point is 00:19:02 I was. I was in second place at the end. And we looked at where he was though i had six cities he had eight cities and everybody else was much lower in their cities three or four and stuff and uh he was beating me by like almost double in science but he was beating all of us combined in hammers and gold and stuff so we just quit we were just like so he was making more money and building shit faster than the rest of the world combined and you guys just said this is stupid no no he was making more money and building shit faster than the rest of the world combined. And you guys just said, this is stupid.
Starting point is 00:19:28 No, no more of this. He was like, you know, I've been streaming for 13 hours. I'm happy to continue. And, you know, I can kill all of you guys if you'd like. Or you can come at me all at the same time if you want. But be honest, I don't think you'll win. And here's why. And he laid it out there.
Starting point is 00:19:41 And he was right. We can't beat him because he has 8,000 gold stored up, and he's got some uber policy that allows for gold-built purchasing of units. So he can buy all of our armies right now if he wants, in addition to his already massive armies. But he can't buy your army. He can buy units from his cities. He can ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching.
Starting point is 00:20:00 Every city instant makes units every time. The way you phrased it, you made it sound like he would buy your unit and then you'd have one less and he'd have it he'd buy the he could buy the value of he has the purchasing power to create the world the rest of the world's armies in like five turns in addition to his already overpowered army so and he laid that case out and i was like yeah let's just concede defeat and get off instead of playing till like two in the morning what and having you i don't like how they got rid of happiness and they changed it to like uh living space or amenities is that what it's like a combination of amenities amenities and housing system can be a little bit complicated um to to wrap your head around and I still could
Starting point is 00:20:38 not explain it very well um it takes like the personalization part out of the game like that was kind of the fun part part of Civ 5 is like oh okay and maybe it's just because i just learned how to play civ 5 and now i'm jumping to something new so i obviously don't like having to learn a whole new thing when i still don't understand the first thing fully but i felt like the little smiley face or the frowny face it was just a simple way of like like almost humanizing your empire a bit so it's like i am this god king ruling this empire and ah you know truffles for the the peons you know you look at their happiness go up or whatever like that was kind of fun you know that adds to it where it's like it makes you feel like a king something a little bit more removed from human interaction like amenities or living space i don't
Starting point is 00:21:21 feel like there's a direct impact on the people of my little fake cities. This probably sounds so stupid, but just the way that I think when I'm playing it, having the happiness as a metric is good. It took a little getting used to. I think each amenity that you improve, amenities are luxury resources, I think. I hope I'm getting that right. I think if you
Starting point is 00:21:40 improve salt, you get four copies of that amenity, one for up to four cities. If you improve another one, then you can four copies of that amenity one for eat for up to four cities if you improve another one then you can sell it but the housing thing you can fix in a lot of ways by building districts that give you extra housing um and you know but making a farm gives you 0.5 more housing and you just have to keep enough housing in your empire uh to be like two uh housing ahead of your growth so if you're at 6 and about to have 7 pop, you need to have 8 or 9 housing.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Or you start getting a negative... Without getting too deep into the weeds, you generally like Civ, you feel like you're going to keep playing it, you're going to put a lot of hours into it. Yeah, I think at about 42 hours now, I've played maybe 2 full games and a lot of partial games,
Starting point is 00:22:24 which I think are key to learning is like these little partial games where you play to turn 50 and say oh well I fucked up and you quit and play to 50 again I do that a lot but yeah I'm getting good at it I think I'm already have like a grasp on it and I understand my timing which is the hardest thing to get
Starting point is 00:22:40 it took me like a year to understand two years maybe to understand to like feel comfortable in Civ 5 with my surroundings and know when I was behind and when I was ahead and what to do in each situation. I think I've already got that in Civ 6. So it's just going to be a, it's going to be learning specific
Starting point is 00:22:54 I've been gaming. What are you playing? You mentioned that you had updated your drivers. What are you playing? Battlefield 1. Yeah. Oh. Do you like it? I think I do like it. One thing clouding that a bit is that
Starting point is 00:23:13 I kind of suck. I've lost all but one of my games. And they've all been pretty close. Like Team Deathmatch games? I've never played much Battlefield or like i don't i don't have never played much battlefield i'm mostly playing standard game conquest so imagine uh uh it's like domination except there's five points instead of three and when you kill someone you also get like a ticket right so you know in domination it's all about owning the points yeah this is kind of a
Starting point is 00:23:40 domination team deathmatch combo there you have it it. The thing is, an average normal score for me to lose, according to my memory, is like 1,000 to 930. And I think, ah, you know, I bet a better player could have made that difference. Won this. Yeah. You know, and in COD, one player can win a game. You know, you have to be pretty extraordinary to win all by yourself. But those players exist. You know, that guy gets some air support in, and he really makes
Starting point is 00:24:07 an impact for your team. In Battlefield, typically one player doesn't win a game by himself, but when it's 1,000 to like 950, if you had swapped me out with somebody competent, it might have changed everything. You only need to get like three more kills.
Starting point is 00:24:23 Like three of your engagements needed to go your way instead of his way and you win. That's how that goes. Well, that would have been six points. But like, you know, a better version of... How many more do you need? In the 50 in that case.
Starting point is 00:24:36 But, you know, a better version of me might have like locked down a flag and, you know, gotten some kills over it and, you know, just done better whereas i'm kind of negative and i'm not helping my team as much as i'd like to but uh but the game looks good and it plays well and i'm not finding it to be quite as slow as i have like i'm not a battlefield expert what are you playing it on pc and i'm not finding it to be as slow as some of the other battlefields like there's been some where I know you're supposed to jump in a Jeep or whatever,
Starting point is 00:25:06 but if you walk it, it's like a legit 12-minute walk. It's best if you get lost, which isn't that hard to do. Are you guys fucking serious? But this time I'm a little better. I find myself playing, and I'm like, not that I'm good, but I have a notion of what it takes to be good, like strong minimap awareness and sound whoring and stuff like that. And I'm like, Woody, have you even looked at the minimap in the last 30 seconds?
Starting point is 00:25:32 Do you have any idea what's going on around you? And it's like, yeah, I kind of got to get my groove back. Just bumbling through Aleppo blindly. It's going off nearby. But it's pretty neat. I like the combat. I like the way that the guns work. I like the way that the game feels.
Starting point is 00:25:52 I don't know if it's improved or if my tastes have changed, but I used to feel like you were kind of a tank. Like in Battlefield, you're like maybe a real-life soldier burdened with all kinds of equipment. And in COD, you're like maybe a real-life soldier burdened with all kinds of equipment. And in COD, you're a super soldier jumping off of buildings, doing like fucking Tony Hawk 360 dives, jumping the back, et cetera.
Starting point is 00:26:16 For whatever reason... That's something that turns me off to Battlefield. You said it well. You feel like a tank. Like the first one, I don't remember which Battlefield it was that I played, but after playing a ton of Black Ops was out at the time where you're pretty quick just like call of duty like you said parkouring about the map right and then i played a little
Starting point is 00:26:33 bit of battlefield at a friend's house and right off the start your guy is just as he's running through the wilderness and i'm like i'm really really stressed out and when i try and turn it's not cod where it's like snap right snap snap it's oh jesus you know like that's, this God is heavy. I'm not sure if the game changed or if my taste changed. Because it's roughly, it's still Battlefield. It's not like they turned it into COD. But I'm having an easy time accepting it. Like, yeah, you know, if I move the mouse faster, it goes faster.
Starting point is 00:27:20 And I move around fine. The pace of it doesn't feel slow like it once did to me. And, no, no, I move around fine. The pace of it doesn't feel slow like it once did to me. And I don't know, I'm enjoying Battlefield. Except, I don't know. It's like, hey, you had a bad afternoon at COD, right? You weren't the best version of you. Did you like that game? Well, I mean, I can see that it's a good game and everything. I sure did wish I beat that guy. Like, I had an engagement where I caught a guy looking the other way. And I had a sniper rifle, but I was close enough that I knew if I didn't
Starting point is 00:27:49 one-shot him, it would just be hard to hit him with the follow-up. So I get a little closer. I shoot him in the back with my pistol, maybe twice. And then he turns on me and defeats me. And I know what that means. I know how big this skill differential between that guy and me was that I got turned on.
Starting point is 00:28:08 And it's like, ah, something wrong with this game. I should have. That's cool. These are lessons to learning. Well, I can tell you now that is F on the keyboard. At the time, I couldn't tell you that. So that is why. I'm getting K for knife.
Starting point is 00:28:22 All I've done is watch some of the pre-release footage, but it seemed like if they put one bullet into a guy and then held F, he would melee charge him and put him down, right? If you have a bayonet, and Sharks, I'm not an expert in the game. The shovel too, the entrenching tool? I think the assault class has the bayonet on it,
Starting point is 00:28:42 but it's not called a sniper. It might be called a scout. And I didn't have a bayonet, so but i was it's not called a sniper it might be called a scout and um i didn't have a bayonet so i would have had just the knife i would have had to got up behind him which i probably could have i was just like what is the knife key i'm not really sure you know i better shoot him fuck it yeah and i thought i i if i got up even closer i probably would have done a better job he He would have just heard you. Maybe. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:29:09 I'm getting a little better. And Colin's taking a real interest in it. And I'm like, can Colin play on this? I really like the idea of Colin playing on my account for a couple of reasons. One is the cowardly reason of I am no longer responsible for my stats. Right? Like, oh, look at what he is. Points, they don't use KD very much in Battlefield World, but your points per minute.
Starting point is 00:29:29 I'd be like, ah, you can't look at my points per minute. Colin and I both play on that. Like, he won't be the better player. Colin starts playing, your points per minute start going up. It could be. You're just skyrocketing and you keep it a secret. Colin's good at games. He mostly plays Minecraft,
Starting point is 00:29:44 but not the Minecraft that you might be thinking. It's all these mini-games. He plays the CSGO version of Minecraft. It's called Cops and Crimps. He plays all these things and it's more sophisticated than you might think. If I put him on Battlefield, he might be the better player before long. But the other thing is
Starting point is 00:30:00 there's a lot of unlocks I wish I had and it's kind of like, oh, well, shucks. Why don't we team this up together? You know, like, I only have two hours in the game, but I sure would love a grinding partner. Hop on this thing, Colin.
Starting point is 00:30:13 Knock yourself out. You should have him do that. I think I will. He's 13. I don't know if that's bad parenting to put him on, like, Battlefield 1. No, definitely not. Some of the kids fighting in world war one
Starting point is 00:30:25 were about his age yeah so you know what i'll just i'll just lay that out there for jackie and i don't see how she could complain he is our facts show her that picture of that vietnamese photographer that 12 year old boy with the helmet on like in the battle yeah that's not even that long ago you go back to world war one they were fighting in the trenches at that age. You've got to stop coddling him. Get him a baseball bat with some barbed wire and let him play. The only game I've played recently, I bought NHL 17 because Sweet Tea is on the cover, and I buy it most years.
Starting point is 00:31:02 But, man, it is so, I don't know why I keep... Like, this is the definition of insanity, is I keep going back to these NHL games, playing it against, like, all right, I can beat pro AI, now I'm going superstar AI. Ah, I lost to it. Okay, and then I consistently can start beating them.
Starting point is 00:31:19 And I'm like, I'm ready to take on, you know, you know, KoochSniffer68 that's online right now. I'm going to jump in there, and I'm going to take on, you know, you know, CoochSniffer68 that's online right now. I'm going to jump in there and I'm going to take him on. Like, there's no way that me beating all these hard AI like 10 times in a row by a good number of goals, like there's no way that won't translate. I have to win an online game eventually. And every time, every time, it is embarrassing
Starting point is 00:31:42 because I don't know how to take face-offs well enough i guess because i only know like basically every face-off i play online getting butt-fucked losing everyone like i've got like a 15 face-off win and that basically means that they get to set up every play the way they want to and it is horrible to just know that like i i feel like I probably know more about hockey than the person that I'm playing and I can't do it. I'm trying to do real stuff like, alright, pass back to the point. Now we're going to go down here, we're going to run the cycle down
Starting point is 00:32:14 there. We're going to pass it back off to our defenseman. You know, and he ran into me. Checked me over into my own bench. Alright, now they scored. They scored because they did some glitch. Welcome to adulthood. Welcome to adulthood. Welcome to adulthood. There is some 14-year-old who's devoting his life to
Starting point is 00:32:30 this game right now who will just steal your lunch money for the rest of your life. I don't think I've ever made it through a full game online because usually I get through like a period and a half. The way it usually goes is like right off the bat, they score on me.
Starting point is 00:32:45 And it's like, all right, that's okay. You know, now it's a comeback tale. And then, you know, before the end of the first period, they put a couple more past me. And then usually in the middle of the second, I rage quit and just shut the whole console off. Because I don't want them to have the satisfaction either of knowing that they beat me back. That's funny. Does it bother you that in real life, the Blues aren't really doing that well? They're in first place. They're in third. Disconnect. Does it bother you that in real life the Blues aren't really doing that well? They're in first place.
Starting point is 00:33:07 They're in third in the league. Oh, in the division, they're in first. Well, if you subdivide it small enough, they're all in first place. Philadelphia. If you use the world. Yeah, the Flyers are the best team in Philly. I wish I knew what some minor league hockey team is. Yeah, move over, Phantoms.
Starting point is 00:33:32 The Phantoms. Patty's pub crew is pretty strong this year. I don't know. I'm happy with the fact that, well, first of all, I don't think St. Louis is going to stay at the top of Central. I think that Nashville and Dallas are going to bounce back soon because they're both too good to keep failing. Chicago, I think,is is going to stay at the top of central i think that nashville and dallas are going to bounce back soon because they're both too good to keep um chicago i think is probably going to finish third in the division maybe they're going to division chicago's going to pick
Starting point is 00:33:52 up because currently they haven't been doing very well but they'll they'll pick it up soon they have fourth they are break uh i'm with you no i i might give them fourth i could see that or fifth yeah you know i don't i Or fifth. Maybe they will get fourth. That would still be a playoff position. I don't really care as long as they make the playoffs. I've had too many years as a Blues fan of being like, yeah, we're fucking killing it! You know, 52-18 on the season, and then you lose in the first round.
Starting point is 00:34:15 Does it matter how you go into the playoffs? Do you get a bye or anything? You get a weaker opponent. Not even that anymore. They ruined the playoff structure so that St. Louis last year, like second best team in the league by record, had to play the Chicago Blackhawks in the first round. So there's really the way that they do the seeding now
Starting point is 00:34:33 is they're trying to drum up more rivalries instead of actually having like the best team get the benefit of playing the worst team. That also is because the Central Division is really good and stacked. But I was saying I'm happy about Chicago. They're starting out breaking records with how bad their penalty kill is. Guess what their penalty kill percentage is. You know what that means, obviously.
Starting point is 00:34:53 You know what that means. For people out there, an average percentage. Since you're saying it's low, is it 75? 0.46% kill? 75? Lower. Really? 46? It can't be. Really? 46%? It can't be. Yes, it's 46%.
Starting point is 00:35:07 They have allowed... Really? Yes. Over half the time, you get a penalty. So far this season. Where is this stat? The Blackhawks have allowed 14 goals on 26 opposing power plays this season.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Three of those were from the Blues the first game, I think. But 14 goals on 26 opposing power plays this season. Three of those were from the Blues the first game, I think. But 14 goals on 26 power plays. And then it says in 2013, they allowed 18 goals on 141 opposing power plays throughout the year. I like that Taylor's two favorite teams in this order are the Blues and not Chicago. Yes, it is. It's the Blues and not Chicago, which is why i'm rooting against the cubs in this world series because it's not fair if they get this much success the things don't pan out for me in sports
Starting point is 00:35:51 so the cubs are gonna win but come on cleveland like give them something you know they already got the nba championship i guess but i just really well they've got the browns they're breaking records too yeah oh and seven i think i don't think what game this year i watched a couple other highlights i and you know those like sounds that they play like those uh british Yeah, 0-7, I think. I don't think they're going to win a game this year. I watched a couple of their highlights, and you know those goofy sounds that they play? They always win one. Like those British, like... Sure.
Starting point is 00:36:13 Like, that's what... You could play that over every Cleveland Browns game. And it's exactly... It looks like the quarterbacks... I guarantee they win one game. I remember there was a year, maybe four years ago or something, where there was one team that was, like, 0-9, and there was another NFL team that was 13-0 or something.
Starting point is 00:36:31 And it looked like one team was going to go perfect with the wins, and one was going to go perfect with the losses. And then the next week, it went the other way. They won one game, and then the Patriots or whoever lost a game that year. I like that, though. I like seeing perfect seasons. Either way, I think I'd almost rather see a 0-16 season than a 16-0 season. Yeah, I don't
Starting point is 00:36:54 I'd rather not see either because it's always kind of disheartening when you watch a professional I was looking through the NBA standings. This is of course I'm always tooting hockey's horn, but, you know, three months from now, check the standings of every major professional sports league.
Starting point is 00:37:11 I guess NFL will be over, but whatever. Check NBA and NHL. The best team in the NBA will be, like, 50-8. Or better. Or better. Or maybe it's like, oh, wow, breaking records because there are six players in this league where if you don't have one of them, sorry, you're basically just here to beat. They'll be like 52-9, 60-9, whatever it was.
Starting point is 00:37:33 The best team in the NHL will be like 41-17 or something because on any given night, the worst team can go out there and beat the best team because it's way more of a team sport. But any time you see in the nfl even like 16 and 0 or 15 and 1 or whatever like it's just it just shows there's like not a very the league doesn't have a lot of parody you're right but i feel like the nfl sometimes like the law of small numbers can exaggerate the truth you know it if hypothetically let's pretend that people didn't get injured or worn out and they played 82 games then, then I don't know that New England, for example, would have 76 wins. They wouldn't do what basketball teams do. They'd get beat.
Starting point is 00:38:14 But when they go like 14-2 because the numbers aren't that big, I don't think it would have just multiplied by four. That's a good point. That makes sense. But in basketball, you're just clearly right. And I really like the way you phrase it you're like yeah there's six players and those six players are spread across like four teams and if you don't have one of those then you're the sixers fuck you you know that's just like yeah it's like hockey in like the 1940s where the montreal canadians literally literally had a 50 mile radius around
Starting point is 00:38:46 Montreal where if you grew up there the Canadians got first pick of you. And go fucking figure, all the best hockey players in the world a lot of them come out of the Montreal area. And so for decades it was like oh yeah, or however they talk the French, like that French Canadian
Starting point is 00:39:01 oh another good, oh Jean-Claude, very good hockey player. Oh where is he born? Oh, 48 miles from here. He is ours. He on the Canadian squad. Les habitants. Like, that's how ridiculous it is, it seems. I don't watch the NBA, and I'm sure NBA fans out there
Starting point is 00:39:17 will correct me, rightfully so, because I'm sure I'm wrong. It's just, like, there's no way that there's enough... You're wrong. They'll correct me for some reason. No, they won't correct you. Who cares? I like trolling them. Yeah, shrink the four on four. Fuck you. Make the court bigger. 15-foot high ring, ball this big.
Starting point is 00:39:36 I want them slinging that ball at like 60 miles an hour. I like that you called it a ring. Keep that up, Kyle. Yeah, it should totally be changed. The game is all fucked up. Four on four. No more court, giant trampoline. There would be one trampoline pad per side, and it would only be big enough for one man to jump on at once.
Starting point is 00:39:53 It'd be the power boost or whatever. And there would be nothing to catch you if you took a header off that. You'd just be up in the air doing one of these like in the X Games. You'd just crumple down onto the hardwood but it should be four on four um you should get that that uh the the what ted cruz didn't know what ted cruz call it uh i don't know the basketball basketball ring is that what he called it instead of abuse he either called it like uh yeah go ahead sorry then it should be it, sorry It should be higher And the ball should be much smaller
Starting point is 00:40:28 Like give them a WNBA ball Or go bigger I either want them hurling it at like 60 miles an hour To the point where it's dangerous And if somebody takes one they get laid out Or I want it so big that they can't palm it anymore Because that's bullshit When those gigantic men are holding a basketball
Starting point is 00:40:44 What if they played with yoga balls and you added checking and they could do that belly bopping thing where you hit them that's good it needs a little bit more physicality there's something i learned anytime you see a 610 man get like and he goes ah it's like it's just it makes my stomach hurt just to be like oh but you asshole i know that's your job and you have to act like that's a big deal. But, oh, sorry. I stopped by your wedding. What is this, soccer? I was looking at, oh, oh, height stats on NBA teams. And if you don't know, the Golden State Warriors are one of the better outside shooting teams. Someone's going to tell me I'm wrong, but I know Curry was breaking records last year with the amount of threes he
Starting point is 00:41:22 hit and his three-point percentage. And he would seem to hit these game winners and shit from half court, or if not game winners, then like critical shots. And it's like, my God, like you need an anti-cheat, like a real life anti-cheat because you're not supposed to be able to hit half court shots and shit. But I was surprised to learn that Golden State was the second tallest team in the NBA. So it's like, wow, they've got what I guess is the best shooting or among the best shooting, and they also have the most height?
Starting point is 00:41:51 All that takes, though, is one 7'5 guy from Central Africa who's like, that is just a complete beanpole. Montombo, get the towels, let's go! Yeah, Manute Bull, have you heard of him? He's the tallest player in NBA history. He looks like Slenderman. He looks like he's so gangly. Let me look up a picture.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Let me look up a picture of this man. You won't believe it's real. He's very tall. Shit, I lost my train of thought. But yeah, anyway, I was surprised that Golden State was so tall given that they shot so well. That's all I got. Battlefield is cool. Oh, dude. all given that they shot so well that's all i got um battlefield is cool i'm oh dude i know you guys haven't caught up on walking dead have you i uh since season one oh my god but i saw the bad thing
Starting point is 00:42:36 that happened yeah i saw it too so let's do this should we should we do spoilers all right so here let me tell you what i know and what i and what I don't want to know more of. And I'm not going to be very specific. I know that that guy doesn't make it. And that is all I know. I know that Blank dies. I read that because it got snuck into it on I'm going to hell for this somehow. It was, oh, I'll tell you what the post was.
Starting point is 00:43:00 It was hilarious. It was like, remember these snack foods from a kid? And I clicked it and opened the picture. And it was like some twinkies and ho-hos and it was like don't you remember how good these were i'm gonna make up a name bill dies in the walking dead i saw that same picture so um i'm gonna try and do this spoiler free. I'll say this. In the first episode of this season, the viewer goes into it thinking that it's about who dies. But what they're really trying to say is this season's opponent is different. We have watched our scrappy band of survivors conquer indomitable foe after indomitable foe.
Starting point is 00:43:44 And you go into it thinking that like here we go again i want to be fun watching the rick and the gang you know just wreck house and uh at the end of the first episode you're like oh my god oh this is irreparably fucked like they they they killed that guy as as you know. I don't want to know any other stuff. I won't even say more. But they break Rick's spirit. I don't think that's going to ruin anything.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Aw, not Rick's spirit. Not his spirit. Dude, you have to see the acting on this. Like, the guy's in tears, snot bubbles. These are spoilers. I don't want to know this. Well, okay. To wrap it up, I was very... I was very pleased with the way
Starting point is 00:44:27 the first episode went down. I'm only talking to my wife who knows nothing about the show. Like, I thought I wanted this and now I'm not so sure. I'm just going to go watch the previous seasons. Remember how simple life was when it was just zombies and bad dialogue and a constant need to
Starting point is 00:44:45 find weapons you know dude that's all i remember from the show here's another thing that's that's not a spoiler um in there's walking dead lost some people around seasons like two and three when uh things got a little slow they weren't even running into zombies anymore. Trouble like that. Dude, Walking Dead now is like an action horror movie that's threatening to jump into this grade A. I mean, I think now it is. I think it's safe to say. That A grade show there with Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad, Walking Dead has been there for some time now. So it's... You know what?
Starting point is 00:45:24 I don't like... This is just something I remember from an early season. Maybe it's not even Walking Dead and I'm just getting time now so it's you know what I don't like this is just something I remember from an early season maybe it's not even Walking Dead and I'm just getting cross pollinated with memories I don't like in those horror movies or shows or survivalist whatever you'd call it where they like insist upon pushing one character as like an uber badass
Starting point is 00:45:39 but the character doesn't fit like if they have like a 6 foot 2 like chiseled guy, and he comes in and he controls it, like, it's like, okay, that is the kind of guy who would walk into this situation and demand respect from this little tribe, and they would get shit done. But when they, like, have to push something where it's like,
Starting point is 00:45:57 that's fucking quick Kim over there. She's only 4'11", and she's missing her left hand, but you look out. She's as tough and strong a woman as anyone, and for you to even dispute this, I'll remind you that it's just a show. And that this is believable. And that, you know, in the post-apocalyptic Hulk, this 4'11 Asian female has more strength than you even know. Then you can shake a stick at her, you know? But it's mental fortitude.
Starting point is 00:46:20 This is so forced and so stupid, and it's's like i can more easily believe in goblins because when i believe in goblins i'm taking myself into a world where goblins exist there is no world where a four foot eleven asian woman with one hand leads anyone in an apocalypse unless it's to certain doom now if live tyler does it as an elf princess who can somehow do magic and summon waves of horses to to take out some Nazgul, then I'm okay with that. Yes, because you're in the Lord of the Rings mindset, and you're like, this is a magic elf,
Starting point is 00:46:51 wizard woman, whatever, and so clearly you can believe that she's that badass. If Liv Tyler had tried to go to the moon with Ben Affleck and her dad and stop that asteroid, I wouldn't have believed a bit of that. It was hard enough to believe that Bruce Willis couldis could the thing is in walking dead that part of what makes people a badass like you said being able to hit people zombies on the head with an axe and no and the girls
Starting point is 00:47:15 that tend to be tough don't tend to be really good at that you know they need a guy to help them out on all the head bashing some of them are decent marksmen but there's a certain mental fortitude that can that girls or guys can have and like this is a non-spoiler but i think at the beginning of season six one of the women finds a way to make cookies and like everyone's just like oh my god like we haven't had cookies in ages and it kind of like did a thing like wow she went out there she foraged for acorns, they don't have any sugar, so she used beets to make it sweet. That's what you make sugar out of. Yeah, sugar beets. Most of the sugar in the world comes from sugar beets.
Starting point is 00:47:52 I didn't know that. I know that these cookies happen to be a little pink, because that's where it came from. I don't know if that's the right kind of beet. Those are shroot cookies. Shroot cookies. Not very good, but there's a lot of them. Anyway, in my head, I was like, all right, they're establishing a certain value to this female character because she has a mental fortitude when other people are maybe in the dull drums and she's making them cookies. And Walking Dead does a pretty good job.
Starting point is 00:48:19 They got a new leader. I don't know what to call it. This isn't in the show. This is in the production of the show. uh it's improved for several years now so i'm gonna get back on it i definitely will um all that sounds great it sounds to me like as they run into more you don't have to confirm or anything but it sounds like they've moved this it sounds like the zombies it's like daisy a bit that the zombies are this like environmental threat that's always there like gas or uh you know earthquakes or something like that but then the real scary thing is these you know i
Starting point is 00:48:52 don't know i'm guessing but cannibals or people who want to rape us or people want to eat us or enslave us or something like that people who don't people are always the scariest thing like whatever monster that we make up that's in the woods or under the ocean, there's nothing scarier than a person who's actually evil, a psychopathic. In Walking Dead, there's a line from the comic book. He won't tie you to a bed and spend weeks tearing at you with pliers or something. It's not in the show, but it's in the comic book. And the current baddie is like you people you think you're
Starting point is 00:49:26 tough you don't even know the score yet um you're still using bullets to kill zombies no you can kill zombies with an axe or a bat you save bullets for the much more dangerous but slightly less common thinking zombies they're like like people is what he's saying he's like you use bullets on people zombies you just whack them on the head they're no trouble and uh it was like wow like he has a whole philosophy about this thing and i think you would develop a whole system living in that world real quick if you if you've lived as long as that guy has or anybody who has in that universe then you've lost many loved ones you've killed many people you've killed many zombies you've starved you've foraged you've done things you didn't like and you've
Starting point is 00:50:11 become whatever it took to survive and however you got there is just going to be who you are now you might have gotten there through teamwork and friendship but a lot of people are going to get there the old-fashioned way by murder and deceit and violence. If anybody ever murders me, I hope they eat me. Like, then I'm not gone to waste. You know? Yeah. I accept your thought about that. I wouldn't want to be killed for sport. Yeah. I wouldn't want to just be killed and then, like, take a picture with my
Starting point is 00:50:35 naked body strung up somewhere. Yeah, eat every part, too. I don't want to go to waste. Yeah, just spare no expense. Suck my dick. Suck my... That's what I want from you way to eat my like my beautiful uh accutane cheeks so clean albert fish uh uh he ate those children and then he wrote a letter back to the boy's mother and told her how he killed and prepared her son he's like oh yeah i i ate his ass and not in a sexual way he He took the boy's buttocks and roasted it with his genitals and stuff like that and ate it all.
Starting point is 00:51:09 He was like – I think he said that he – I'll be the judge of whether or not it's sexual because I'm a little turned on. And he was like – I don't remember what he called his balls. He called them pee-pees or something. But he was like, those were too tough. I threw them into the furnace, but his his dick was delicious and i ate it it took me five days to consume it all you know the whole body or whatever just what do they call like bull testicles people eat them uh mountain oysters rocky mountain oysters ah yes i knew a guy that that had tried them no thank you yeah i haven't
Starting point is 00:51:41 tried one i don't think i if it was like presented to me at a restaurant and someone else was having it too, I'd try it. Because it's still just meat at the end of the day. Is it? Yeah. Well, it's an organ. It's an organ. So it's organ meat. So if you like liver and stuff, I'm sure you like stuff like...
Starting point is 00:51:57 Yeah, me and Kyle on the same page here. Yeah, I guess. Meat is muscle, right? Is that typically what you're eating when you have a steak or chicken? Meat is muscle, but organs are different. But the organs often have interesting properties when you consume them because for whatever they are, sometimes they're really chocked full of a certain vitamin
Starting point is 00:52:16 or something that can help you through this. There's all kinds of healthy drinks that might involve liver or heart or something like that. Do you like liver? They don't sound tasty drinks. I've talked about how finicky I am with my eating. You know, no,
Starting point is 00:52:32 I've never had liver. Uh, I've used it for fish bait. Um, that's about as close as I've fried chicken. Liver is really good. I like it. Um,
Starting point is 00:52:42 yeah, catfish like it. Um, what is it? What is it? What the fuck? Have you guys ever had tongue? No. I haven't really eaten anything interesting.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Huh. I don't think I have. I'm not sure, though. I just know that's, like, another one of the common ones that you'll hear that, like, make a beef tongue. Yeah, I knew that cow tongue was a thing. And I've told this story many times. We went to this restaurant. It was a restaurant slash petting zoo.
Starting point is 00:53:06 And we could feed it a bottle. But it wasn't a baby's bottle. It was a bigger bottle for calves. Oh, yeah. And it would suck your thumb, too. And you could, like, well, it sucked your thumb. I used to like to, like, grab its tongue. It was like a little bit of, like, I broke a contract we had.
Starting point is 00:53:20 But the calf was cool with it. It was a nice calf. Moved on her like a bitch anyway cow tongue is way thicker than you might guess if you haven't like grabbed the cow tongue before you're like it's like dude i can see why this is a meal this is a calf and like i couldn't eat it all i think that they use that tongue a lot in their in their eating maybe it's it's grabbing some stuff it comes out and gets bugs out of their nostrils and all sorts of things. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:46 It can come up and reach into their nose. I've seen them do it. Yeah, they use that tongue for stuff. We can get pretty deep in there himself. I can. You can get in your nose? Yeah. If I use my finger to help, I can get in easily.
Starting point is 00:54:02 I can't even get close. I can lick my top and that's about it that's a lot i have a i have a bullshit tongue ew melissa's tongue melissa you'd like it if we were married melissa has a hugely long tongue that like sticks out my tongue like it it doesn't even get to like the top of my lip like it's just looks like I'm sometimes I feel like it's technique all right stick your tongue out as far as you can and then bite it with your teeth to sort of hold it in place right nothing bullshit we're all sticking our tongues out for those
Starting point is 00:54:42 of you driving work also Woody's got mad skills. Kyle, did you just flip your tongue over? Ah. Yeah, it's longer than my tongue. Yeah, I think I've got probably a normal tongue. You have a very short tongue. I don't think you're going to survive in the future when tongue-in-long tongues
Starting point is 00:55:03 are very essential for reaching up and grabbing foliage. I think our evolutionary path is heading in that direction. No, I took the money I was going to spend on LASIK, and I'm putting it all towards tongue augmentation. Awesome. I just don't feel like I'm tasting food the way I could. So where is the LASIK thing? Did they just come back and say no LASIK for you forever?
Starting point is 00:55:26 I have to go to like another specialist kind of person and ask him about it. At this point, I know it's not the time because my eyes are still progressively getting worse. And it's a bad idea to do it when your eyes are getting worse because it's basically just, you know, I'm on a slow track to blindness. And you bring it back to the start, I'm still going to start to keep creeping in that direction. So you need to wait until I'm like, I guess maybe like 30 now or late 20s, and then they can go in and slice my eyes up and make it so that seeing isn't a bear. Just keep waiting. Stern was talking about this a while back, how his father's going deaf and how the hearing
Starting point is 00:55:59 aids are so good. And he's concerned about his own hearing. But then he said, but you know what? It's going to be 15 years at least before I get to that point, maybe 2025. They're going to have a bionic ear by then. They'll have a cochlear. Is it cochlear or cochlear? Cochlear.
Starting point is 00:56:14 That sounds dirty. They'll have a cochlear implant to, you know, just take care of that. They'll have artificial eardrums. It'll be a whole artificial ear that you just screw into the side of your head like a light bulb yeah cochlear implants are a weird thing man of course they have them now but um they're not like ears like people who hear them they can only like know songs that they knew before the cochlear implant they don't get the beat quite right and um i i i don't know that no one's ever yet no one's ever been able to describe how they can like hear and listen and talk yet they don't get music and they don't
Starting point is 00:56:52 get certain things there's a complexity that they can't absorb and uh it's just you want to avoid it if you can it's for people that really need it it's not by i would imagine it might have something to do you know if you think about the way your eardrum works, it's just a vibrating piece of flesh with those little hairs on it. But as the sound is making it vibrate, it's perfectly resonating to whatever that sound is, perfectly reproducing it
Starting point is 00:57:18 and then sending it through nerve endings to our brain and then being interpreted. But if you've got that implant, isn't it being digitally put together and then reproduced? It's almost like being compressed, isn't it? Yeah, it seems like you would get a shitty version of everything.
Starting point is 00:57:35 Yeah, it's just a crude version of hearing. Yeah, okay. Well, what he was saying was he's not worried about it because it's in the future. And what I was getting at was that Taylor shouldn't be too worried about it. If this is 1915, i would feel real bad for taylor because we all know that by the time taylor gets 45 someone's gonna be leading him around by the
Starting point is 00:57:52 hand it's just a given we're gonna get him a nice walking stick now but you know in modern times before i die in the war you know well they won't let you in the war you can't oh that's true yeah yeah dude um back to battlefield one some of the realities of war are driven home in that film like like you know in um call of duty they'll be like i don't know motivational quotes from patton or something in battlefield one they just give you really shitty statistics. Like, you know, 10-year-olds were dying in this. I'm getting them wrong, because I don't know them all. 150 tons of armaments are found in France every
Starting point is 00:58:34 year. Not armaments, but unexploded artillery or something like that. The average soldier left the battlefield with one-third testicle, or something like that. So many injuries. It makes it hit home, and you're like, left the battlefield with like one and a third testicle or like something like that so many injuries it makes it hit home and you're like oh my god i'm so glad i'm not really in this war yeah it's it was a terrible situation all the wars are bad but but but they're bad in different ways
Starting point is 00:58:57 and the way that world war one was bad was excruciating and terrifying it was prone to creating what they called shell shock which we call ptsd it was prone you know they had gas attacks because we hadn't outlawed things like mustard gas and chlorine gas which they use more chlorine gas it seemed the germans did they would they had these like they'd wait till a windy day you know they're they're yep today's the day to gas the english and you know there's a there's a slow wind heading toward the english and then they'd have these things producing enormous amounts of gas on the ground level, and then just this fog is rolling in. Of course, they dropped it in with mortars too.
Starting point is 00:59:30 But, all right, you've got the gas attacks. You've got the trenches that you're living in, the trench warfare, because all of a sudden we've got machine guns and armored cars, and guys are trying to fight them with horses and on foot with bolt-action rifles. So your feet are rotting off. There's 50,000 guys in that hole over there. There's 50 in this one over here. And at some point, somebody's going to blow a whistle, and we're heading that way.
Starting point is 00:59:54 The British, of course, had those sappies who would dig tunnels from their trench under the Germans' trench and put a huge amount of explosives there and blow the fucking Germans up in their trenches. But they were dealing with the ground gases that caused dementia and the collapses that would bury them alive. It was a terrible, terrible war. And the death tolls were outnormous. Outrageous.
Starting point is 01:00:18 Outnormous. I like that word. I think outnormous should be a word. It's far more normous than other things. A retentious level of death and destruction dude are you gonna get battlefield at this point i'm not gonna get it just because i like i know that i'm not gonna play it enough once call of duty 4 is available because that's if i'm playing a first person shooter that's gonna be the one i'm in because i don't play the shooters enough that i'm gonna be like like alright an evening of COD and then tomorrow
Starting point is 01:00:46 I'm going to play hours of Battlefield. I just don't game enough. I'm feeling the same way. I want to play it. I really do because I think it would look so beautiful on this monitor. I could get real close to this thing and I feel like it'd be great. So I may still do it. We need to get some people to play.
Starting point is 01:01:02 I don't want to play by myself. I'd like to play with you. It wouldn't be hard to get people to play though. I want to get some people to play. I don't want to play by myself. I'd like to play with you. I wonder if Chiz is going to play. It wouldn't be hard to get people to play, though. I want to pick up some ringers. Yeah, that sounds good. I'm like 68% sure I'm going to buy it now and play it. I'm just so into Civ right at this moment specifically.
Starting point is 01:01:19 It almost seems like with your 1080 card, you're required to get a AAA title. There's a rule. I definitely need to get the max out of this system. You're right. Because Civ, you can play. I think it only takes advantage of two cores anyway. Civ VI does.
Starting point is 01:01:37 So anything more than that, you're just... So it doesn't matter. Although it is a pretty nice looking game, I think now. I'm over the artwork looking bad. When you scroll really far in with the graphics maxed out, you can see and hear all kinds of cool stuff, so I'm okay with it. But you're right, I need a AAA title to put this thing to the test and
Starting point is 01:01:53 really fully enjoy it. Call it a wrap? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. PKN, episode 115. I hope you liked it. Goodbye.

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