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There it is, now we're live. That had to be the longest one ever.
That's what she said.
Well played, Kyle Scott.
All rested and witty.
I did have a nice nap today.
Me too.
Yeah, we've been vacationing, so today we had a nice long midday nap.
It was empowering.
Being charged.
Are you still doing a lot of order-in sushi?
Oh, so much order-in sushi.
So much order-in sushi and pizza and stuff.
The Denver area is full.
I like Grubhub anyway.
Whenever I go anywhere, I'm using a ton of Grubhub.
I know they're anti-Trump, but I don't care.
That's the best way to get food brought to you, I think.
I can't care that's the best way to get food brought to you I think I can't judge too much I guess I'm on the blue side
compared to you
but I sometimes find myself at Chick-fil-A
you know
see that's the thing
if Grubhub's service
is awesome and I've only heard good things
I don't fucking care if they're communists
I mean they wouldn't be because they have a good service.
But, like, they – who cares?
Just like Chick-fil-A, I don't care if he comes out and he's like, guys, I mean, we're overblowing this Hitler thing at this point, right?
It's been decades.
You'd be like, well, you just keep making the chicken sandwiches and I'll keep showing up.
It came out because they were donating money, though, right?
Like, all right, so when you buy Chick-fil-Aa your money goes towards like anti-gay hate groups and you're like ah yeah i
really don't eat there much i honestly don't but my daughter does and it's funny because she's like
more militant than me right yeah yeah she's liberal there's some real hypocrisy going on there
man i'll tell you what that chicken is so fucking good that anybody who's like
no i'm not going to eat that chicken who's like, no, I'm not
going to eat that chicken, that's hay chicken,
probably didn't like chicken sandwiches
very much beforehand. I just feel
like there are so, so few people
who's like, I don't know, on principle
alone, would turn down
that delicious, tasty chicken because it is
juicy. It is the highest grade
fast food chicken meat out there.
There's never any gristle or fat or toughness or chewiness to it like I've had like
Bits of like hard bone and McDonald's chicken sandwich or like a slistle. Yeah. Yeah, you don't get that chick-fil-a
It's it's it's better than anything that I could make Wendy's is over in the middle. I feel like
You're not gonna get bones and stuff in their grade of chicken. But I do think that – Kyle says you might.
I don't know.
I think – I've had a lot of Wendy's chicken.
I have better luck than him, I think.
But I will say sometimes there's like breaded chunks on the side.
And it's like that's just a chunk of like breading nonsense.
It wasn't even chicken.
Yeah, that's just a cube of seasoning that happened its way into this container.
Like that's what the thing with Chick-fil-A is it's not like a world-class chicken sandwich,
but it's not just a little bit better than all the other restaurants in its caliber,
like its little wheelhouse.
It's right through chicken places.
It obliterates them.
Like, they have to sit in marketing meetings at, like, BK and McDonald's and be like,
all right, how are we going to attack Wendy's this week?
Like, don't you want to shoot a little higher and go for Chick-fil-A?
And they're like, oh, look at Ted, the new guy.
Yeah, we're going to go after Chick-fil-A.
We don't even require our employees to clean their fingernails, Ted.
Like, what do you think we're going to be saying?
Refresh your beverages and say, oh, thank you so much for coming to Chick-fil-A.
You come back real soon, you hear?
And like all the little lines that they say, like Chick-fil-A is the best.
It's the one fast food place where I go through and I feel like the guy serving me isn't like
fantasizing about murdering me.
Yeah.
They look like they're having a good time in there.
Yeah, they're not.
It's work, but still.
I don't know.
When I go by, there's usually two hot blonde chicks with ponytails and three dudes trying to really hustle to show off for those two.
They're really wiping everything down and fucking getting those milkshakes fucking made.
Everybody's hustling in there.
And the managers of Chick-fil-A?
You would think the owner of Chick-fil-A was just in a room somewhere with cameras, like GoPros, watching all of those managers.
Because they'll come over and bother you.
Like, I've had them come over and be like, hi, sir, how's everything?
It's good.
It's Chick-fil-A.
Can I refresh your beverage?
No, it's fine.
Like, I can do it.
Please stop walking over. Chick-fil-A, I've got your beverage? No, it's fine. Like, I can do it. Please stop walking over.
Chick-fil-A,
I've got a couple things to say.
One, Kyle's right.
There are more attractive...
Topic.
For Chick-fil-A,
or better yet,
for fast food,
there's a lot of attractive people
working at Chick-fil-A.
I never really put that together.
Like, if you go to Wendy's,
McDonald's, whatever,
you're likely to find the person
that you're afraid
this food will turn you into. Right? Like, ooh, you know? to find the person that you're afraid this food will turn you into, right?
You know?
There is a freak show of a woman at my local Burger King.
Like, I can hear her voice
and know it's her.
And I get my passenger
ready. I'm like, look, there is a
ham beast serving up
burgers up here. And
sometimes they'll be a little sensitive. They'll be like, hey,
that's not cool. Like, oh, you're going to make fun of the fat person i'm like no you wait this person's
face has done a job of the hut thing where it's melted into their body and it's they're just
inevitably even the like even the nicest person will be like oh god what what is that it's
disgusting there are some nasty people working the fast food windows. Chick-fil-a though.
If someone had, if their body fat is just gone completely off the scale or if their pimples and such on their face
It has just like turned like it's awful and they're working at like a Wendy's. I'm like, oh my god
That's what happens when you spend too much time here. They did you turn into this massive pimple faced fat person
That's what fast food does so
You turn into this massive pimple-faced fat person.
That's what fast food does.
But not Chick-fil-A.
It would turn me into what I would, I guess, like a really attractive 18-year-old girl.
Yeah, an attractive young girl.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, Michael Blonde.
Screw milk tricks, I guess.
Southern Baptist, conservative family, good school, you know, or whatever.
Exactly, exactly.
On home and vacation from Trinity, wherever. I don't care which Trinity, just one of those, you know, exactly. On home and vacation from Trinity, wherever.
I don't care which Trinity, just one of those, you know, universities.
That really is, for those who have not had it, it's in its own class.
It's a whole other thing.
I don't know how that chicken tastes that good, and I've never had chicken like that before anywhere else.
It's just really good, juicy chicken. Peanut oil.
Other places use peanut oil, though, and they don't achieve that.
Really? Where else does? I don't know. um i think checkers i think checkers might i don't have checkers
maybe that's why new topic yeah i went to the um orthopedic surgeon today
so people don't know i don't talk about it much because i'm kind of embarrassed but
when i first got my new paramotor i kind of had to relearn some of the controls and the way that it launched.
And on one of the launches, I jammed my knee.
What was that?
Maybe two and a half months ago, I got that thing.
And it hasn't been healing up.
Like, it still hurts.
Usually when I come back from a rest of some sort,
maybe I have it on the coffee table or I've slept
or I've sat in a chair for some time.
When I first get up, it's incredibly weak,
and I kind of have to walk it off.
It looks like it's not serious.
I was concerned it was a torn meniscus.
That was like my personal self-diagnosis.
I knew it was stable, so it wasn't a ligament
and I didn't know what else it could be.
Apparently, there is a fatty tissue lump
behind your kneecap whose job it is
to sort of lubricate the movings down there and
it's likely that i damaged scarred whatever mine and it's swollen and inflamed and he hit it with
a cortisone shot today and that was it wasn't bad at all but i was very fearful the needle was like
this long and uh he doesn't just poke it and stab it he's like wiggling it around gotta get in there
yeah because he's trying to insert the a cortisone is like a super strong anti-inflammatory and he's
trying to put it in a bunch of different places and uh he's talking to me while he does it i think
is a distraction method but you want him focused no i i i'll i'll pimp the guy dr martini at carry orthopedic is very good
um i really really like the guy he fixed my right knee and now that is like my good knee
an acl replacement there i went i went there to um get my hand worked on after it was broken and
um he basically looked at it and said you know if, if it was simpler, I might take it on.
But you need to go to a hand specialist.
And I appreciated that about him.
You know, like, I always watch doctors and stuff and see if they have a profit motive.
And he was just like, no, not this one.
You go get that.
You go to that other guy.
Whereas I've had some doctors that like
you know it's like asking your barber if you need a haircut you know hey do you think i need this
worked on fuck yeah sit right here i happen to do that i'd go somewhere else i'm not great at this
early onset parkinson's so um so yeah i i saw him today i've got full confidence in this guy and
and basically he said look this shot is almost definitely going to heal
it um if it unheals in a month after it wears off then uh you know we'll look at other ideas on how
we can you know fix it permanently but he's like that he's like says 60 of the time this will be
the last thing i need to do the other 40 and we got a whole test the last of which is surgery like
i always wonder with doctors like what you said with referring to a specialist,
like if it's kind of like that, like they like that a little bit,
almost like a customer service person, like up to them and you ask them like,
hey, I need to talk to a manager immediately in their head.
They're like, not my fucking problem.
And then you just completely forget about it whereas like if he
just sees your fucked hand or something he's like oh jesus actually i know a guy like i
it's real good at this like i feel like it's almost you know like my hand has um it's weak
it's like i i can do this little thing in person where i like show you the grip strength
indifferent and the difference between my good hand my band this hand is it's dull it has no
strength there's nerve damage you can hardly see the scar anymore but here the there was nerve
damage and um it was broken and you know when i took it to dr martini because he's like my guy
um he was like nah he's like yo i do um, he was like, nah, he was like, yo,
I do some hand surgery if it's vanilla, but you are Rocky road. And he sent me on. So, uh, yeah,
we went to a specialist as a whole though. That's good news that it's not more serious than you
anticipated. Yeah. It's less serious than, you know, Dr. Woody had self-diagnosed. And I mentioned
I was the old, I i was like could it be this
could it be that and he was able to i love this one a doctor is one doesn't think you're an idiot
like for having gone to google and learned about different stuff you know instead he just like
realistically discusses what you picked up and uh two he was able to provide sound arguments for his diagnosis compared to, like...
Yeah. And doctors have, like, a confidence that, like, I've heard this, like, you know, if you're, like, at a dentist's office or you're getting your braces on, oh, my God, my fucking orthodontist did this nonstop, where they'd say, oh, you broke a bunch of brackets off.
they'd say oh you broke a bunch of brackets off it's like well you know sorry like i don't i didn't mean to i didn't maliciously do it uh and they go you know what the problem is you're you're
doing this that and the other and i'm like well i actually looked up online and it said that i
should be able to eat chips ahoy cookies just fine and he's like well that's just ridiculous
then they give you a little like a parental lecture with like i can also tell you haven't
been flossing i can tell you haven't been doing this and that with real doctors they're not compensating for shit so if you go in there and they're like
yeah you have pneumonia they're like honestly though i googled it and it said i could handle
this with a little bit of sunshine and some sunny d the doctor's gonna be like yeah good
fucking luck i got other people to deal with see you later have fun with your sunny d elixir and
come back when you're maybe not dead next week i don't know it's like a difference in confidence with a doctor and like an orthodontist dentist like the dentist i feel
like they got to tell you like i i like it like if i say look you know i've got this lesion on my
shoulder or something i looked at it looks exactly like this what do we got here and if they're able
to confidently be like all right yep yep you know I can see why your Google search turned that up.
But that also presents with these three other things that you're lacking.
And, like, I love a doctor who's not, like, afraid to be challenged.
Challenging makes me sound like a dick.
But I just want them to be, like, confident and competent.
I'm not confident enough to question a doctor.
Like, I would never go into a mechanics and be like,
you know, maybe it's just the gas
itself that's the problem.
Maybe it's a bad tank. They'd be like,
what the fuck is wrong with you?
Could the tank have went
bad and now all my gas is bad?
I've been driven in like, when I hear that,
I always do both of those things.
Yeah, I provide
like my, if I can't fix it myself,
I provide like a sample diagnosis on both cars and body.
You know, like, yeah, I'm afraid it's this.
Hell, I went in there a tiny mildly a bit afraid it was cancer.
You know, I just like – you wouldn't think it was cancer
because it happened with a jam knee, right?
So that's not a cancer symptom, right?
But really, my brother's knee was just bugging him and not healing
and kind of like just not getting better before he went to a doctor
and found out he had bone cancer.
And I'm like, fuck.
I hope that's not it.
Jesus.
How long ago is that, if that's not too personal?
I'm going to call it 12 years ago, 15 years ago.
Oh, okay.
So it was a while ago, yeah.
But then apparently one of the things that chemo can give you is more cancer.
So he actually had a second cancer, lung cancer um from the chemo like it like you know how cancer
spreads and goes somewhere else that wasn't his symptom uh he just the chemo gave him cancer
and uh and he had to deal with that all over again we're like the u.s with those little like
shitty isis groups in the middle east where we like build one up like
you're the cancer for us now take care of that other cancer and then that cancer gets out of
control and you're like oh fuck we got to make some new cancers get real out of control
oncologists they just look at u.s foreign policy for ideas Get Hillary and Barry on the phone.
Oh, he, um, Obama, what is it called?
Commune a sentence today?
Commuted.
Commuted, yeah.
But I guess he commuted Chelsea Manning's sentence.
How much of it?
They said most, but like.
From now forwards. I think what it meant is that she served seven years And now she's done
Oh so it's like time served
Like it's art you're out
Yeah he's like my term's over you're safe
And apparently she was doing really bad
She had two failed suicide attempts
And I'm not
Did Chelsea Manning start off as a girl or a boy
No it's Bradley Manning
The guy who leaked
The information to julian assange
like in 2010 and then assange dumped all that information so yeah okay yeah bradley manning
so there's a transgender thing going on now bradley needs to become chelsea and apparently
i guess the military is somehow obligated to fix this, but they have very little experience in this kind
of surgery. Like, there aren't...
The military!
So Bradley Manning was in
the military, right? Yeah. And he has, like,
military health care. I was just reading
about it, like, an hour ago.
And
under this, they treat
the problems you have while you're still in the military,
which I guess he is and she is.
I'm very confused.
Because I think we're intended to refer to her as Chelsea and her, even though if you were to just take a picture, you might guess Guy.
And so anyway.
So anyway, somehow there's an additional complication in that
she wants to get a surgery i love that yeah you're like just just to be clear we're told to ignore
our eyes and all other senses and or mental faculty. She fucked me in the ass. We're all supposed to pretend together.
If we all believe.
Maybe it will.
Oh, man.
Like, I'm willing to, like, I guess.
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
So she.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
So she needs to have this surgery.
And I guess one of the complications is the military is not good at doing it.
Because there aren't a lot of soldiers uh who've become chicks
it's also not surgery that a lot of doctors are comfortable doing like
good at it right like urgent at uh johns hopkins even says like he refuses to do it there like it
was a big kerfuffle with him because he was like, no, we're still like in his opinion. He's like, this is you don't treat a mental illness with physical invasive, you know, reconstructive surgery.
Like that's not something we think should be done. And so I'm not going to do it here.
And so it's like it is you want to be super understanding to these people.
But you also need to, you know, get with reality, reality too that like this isn't just a stop and
fix you know oil change kind of thing like this is a that's an enormous surgery there are huge
ramifications for that like roll it up like a fruit roll up and then miserable and hate themselves
and end up committing suicide afterward like it's not a fix all things so it's definitely more
i agree with taylor and i'd love to take the pro-gender change community to – what do they call it?
Take them to –
Task.
Task.
Thank you so much.
So there is another mental disorder where people feel like they're supposed to be an amputee, right?
And this is like a real thing, and they just feel like they're not complete with this full leg like it doesn't belong on here it's like i'm supposed to be a below the knee amputee
that's just like the whole they're just it doesn't sit right with them and they have that compulsion
to remove it in the same way that like if you've ever gotten a splinter or a foreign body and
inside of you you're really it's a it's a it's a strong compulsion to like get it out you're like it i i'm normally squeamish but i'm i'm gonna start cutting you know yeah you got to get it
out and and that's how they feel but i suspect that a lot of the people who were like well that
they were just born a girl in a boy's body and you know they need relief from this would not be
like oh well they were just born an amputee in a full body. They need relief from that too.
Like I bet that they're not of identical thought processes on the two,
but I am, and I really think that, I don't know,
like there should be a therapy route towards helping people.
Yeah, there should be a therapy route for it.
Like it needs to be handled.
Like it was in the DSM as a mental illness up until the dsm5 in which a
lot of people contend that it was changed because it was politicized and it was too incorrect but
the problem like that people have with it is you can't even have the conversation because they
perceive any kind of saying is like i don't think that this is necessarily what you think it is and
i don't think this is the best way to solve it they take that as like malicious like no you just
hate these trans people.
It's like, no, if you really do fucking care about someone
and you think they have a mental illness,
you don't indulge their delusion.
It's tremendously cruel and maladaptive,
and you would only be doing that knowingly
if you just want to make yourself look good and feel good.
But then there's also people who really do think
that the surgery is the best way to help them,
so you have to know that they're not being malicious
or agenda-pushing.
It's just people are disagreeing on how to help
people with that. You see, I don't know. We don't give those
lizard people any shit. You know, those
people who want to put all the
bumps on their forehead and split
their tongue and stuff. I give them shit.
No, yes, actually. I am also carrying
my fair share of shit.
Oh, I just let them...
I usually let them pass by.
I fling a little poo
in their channel.
I identify as a guy
with no job prospects.
Clearly.
Taylor, is addiction
a mental disorder?
Do they classify that?
Do you know?
It sounds like you might know.
Or is it a symptom
of a mental disorder? That's what, like you might know or is it a symptom of a mental
disorder that's what like i think more is that like addiction isn't necessarily like like
alcoholism or being addicted to crack like i think that's a manifestation of something else
just the same way that overeating is a manifestation of maybe like have a lot of self-hate
or something like that okay so you think yeah but you don't want to get too into the addiction is a disease thing
because then it takes away personal responsibility in a way
because you can be like, oh, why am I smoking crack again?
Well, it was inevitable.
My body just brought me here.
So I don't know.
It's really interesting thinking about all the mental illnesses and stuff.
It's easy to be overconfident and think that you understand it and just be like there's no fucking way anything transgender could be real or
it's all totally real and when you question it you're being a dick like it's there's a lot of
gray area like um and it's easy when you're healthy even if you've had it before to not
empathize properly like oh depression yeah have you tried not being depressed yeah just go
outside and start running and do the things that fix depression and not realizing like this
invisible cage that a depressed person like the things that they need to do the most to really
help themselves like go outside get some sunshine go running you know you cure the root cause of
things that are like causing them unhappiness like they are just bound by invisible
chains unable to address the things that are causing these problems and um when you're not
having that currently you're like there's no fucking chains on you just get up and what's
fucked up with like anti-depression kind of medicine too is that because it's marketed out
there and it's a money make a way to make money is there's a vested interest
in companies convincing you that oh no you're not just sad for a couple weeks you're not sad
because people get sad you're depressed you're depressed and you can't fix this on your own
you need this and then you make yourself dependent on these pills fuck up your serotonin levels make
it so that you're you know uh unable to feel really happy you just feel off i've taken
antidepressants before and you just feel weird at least i did like i just i felt different i didn't
feel like i was fully me and you just get in this vicious cycle like i think like something like one
in four uh women over the age of 45 are on antidepressants or something like that like it's
a tremendously high number and it's because it's popularized as
like a you know it's it's unfashionable to just say that you know people get sad naturally like
maybe you're sad for like six weeks like that's just the way people are maybe you're real happy
after that like sometimes you really don't need the pills but sometimes you do so this is so
hitting it home with it one i was just sad uh when When we had the snow and such and I was cooped up in the house, I don't adjust well to that.
Like I know everybody, you know, gets homesick – not homesick, cabin fever and such.
I think that I'm prone to diving faster than an average person when it's too cloudy, when I'm too inside.
But I was really curious.
You took antidepressants
and you said you just fell off and my impression was they just brought up the happiness level but
that doesn't sound like what you described they don't just make you like fucking joyous and skip
through the halls no no it just it makes it so at least for me when I was feeling depressed I think
it was really more anxiety because it's very difficult a lot of the time to differentiate between feelings of anxiety and depression because anxiety stresses you out and makes you feel depressed.
So I don't know if I've ever – and that's not one of those things where you can never know what your experience is to someone else.
Like I think I struggle a lot more with anxiety than depression.
Like I obsessively make lists and do stupid shit that's not helpful for, like, keeping my day straight
just because in my head I'm like, I'm convincing
myself, and if that's worth it, this makes sense.
Like, it... I don't know.
But yeah, you're right. It's... it's real...
Have you ever been on those pills, Kyle?
Yeah. Or pills like that?
How did it make you feel?
Did you feel off or different, like, slow-witted?
Yeah. You feel dull.
You definitely don't feel like the version of you that could be quick-witted.
You feel slowed down.
And you feel like even if you were quick-witted,
you wouldn't even care that much about making that joke anyway
because what's the point?
Like, everything, the stakes are lower.
It's like, shit, I could just fucking do nothing.
But it's kind of i could just fucking do nothing and i i but like you're it's
kind of like that old uh that old song it's like um you hurt yourself to see if you still feel
i think that that that's a little bit the the kind of um loop that you can get into with
antidepressants sometimes you just got to feel some pain you know and and and move on past it
but that that band-aid of uh what was i think maybe cymbalta is that one it might be uh oh man
that's what i think i think i took that for a little while man that made me really upset just
feel terrible it's not that here's a good way to describe it i think you're kind of saying this is
it doesn't make the highs higher no it makes the highs lower and it makes the lowest lows higher
so instead of you know moving yeah it
just shrinks that spectrum a little bit so if something would send you off the rails and just
be totally anxious and depressed all day it'd be more like well man that kind of sucks it's sort of
something if there was a surprise party for you and if you weren't on it you'd be like oh my god
this is so great like i can't believe you guys took the time to do all this for me if they did
that for you and you're on antidepressants,
it's like, well, this is really nice of everyone.
I mean, it's going to be over in a couple hours
because that's life and it's just a party, you know?
But, you know, it'll be good while it lasts, I suppose.
It can't be worse than, you know, not doing it.
Like, it's just like, I don't know.
It's rough.
My response to anxiety, it's always been this way.
I was going to describe it as super healthy, but I attack the core of whatever's bugging me and solve it.
And like, I've always been that way.
My wife would be like, you know, I can see you're all wound up over this.
And like, why don't you just take a break?
No, no, no.
I will work 20 hours a day until the root cause of this is solved.
You know, do we need money?
Is this project behind?
Is this, are people unhappy about something?
Like, like if I'm getting anxious over that, I, I am driven to, to solve the thing that's
causing me this discomfort.
Yeah.
Anxiety is very different than depression.
I think that like I've taken anti-anxiety pills and and i feel like they're almost performance enhancing like if i if you were going to have
to go up on a stage and perform i i feel like an anti-anxiety medication wouldn't take your
edge away what medication do you remember i don't know maybe clonopens or something like that
oh okay yeah if that's okay that's a different tier of, uh, of antidepressants.
I cough. Can you give the name again?
Klonopin?
Okay. I don't know it.
So like, uh, so like a Prozac is an SSRI, a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, and it affects, it's just like a run of the mill quote unquote antidepressant that makes you feel like I described where the lows are higher and the highs are like lower.
described where the lows are higher and the highs are like lower. And those are, that's like the one that people get, you know, to where you get off that pill and then you go back to being depressed
and then you're, Oh, I I'm getting back on the pill. And then you start to feel better and you
get off it again. And it's like, it's just a vicious cycle. Uh, Klonopin, what Kyle's describing
is a benzodiazepine. And so that's a muscle relaxer that kind of makes you feel like you
just took an opiate as well. Um, they use it for some people, like if you took an opiate as well um they use it for some people like if you're an alcoholic
they can use that to help prevent seizures or if you're someone who i don't know really wants to
fucking sleep on that plane you could take one of those but yeah i've never taken something like
that but from what i've heard it's just what yeah it's like a xanax my dream pill is is much more
faster acting right because i i haven't had a lasting depression since I moved from New Jersey, like a real long time.
But I have had moments of depression.
And I'd like to be just like my wife.
Like, you know what?
You're just prickly today.
You're not happy.
Be like, you know what?
You're right.
Just like when I have a headache, I pop an Advil.
When I have a sadness, I want to pop an anti-sadness.
You know, give me – I just need like a 36-hour upper.
Can we do that?
I think for you because you live –
I think because you're so straight edge with like even coffee being like a special treat for you that like B12 would do the trick.
Like that's all you need.
Five-hour energy.
Here's what I would – like if you want to get crazy with it,
then get some B12 and inject yourself
because it's a real simple injection.
You just put it in your butt and do it.
It's not the sort of thing that you
need a nurse there for. It's one of those intermuscular
I don't start off with injectables, Kyle.
I need to escalate into them.
No? Really?
I swear, it's like your life.
Take some B12, put it in a spoon
with a lighter.
Yeah, you gotta boil it first.
It's pure. You wanna do it hot.
And you'll save money on needles.
Because you can reuse it.
But B12 is like a little
happiness, you think.
Like, I could take one of those.
Yeah, like a supplement is definitely great,
but I've had B12 injections before and it it was just like, whoa, all right, yeah.
Man, I feel like energized and perked up and like ready to go right this second.
Could it have been psychosomatic at all?
Like if they had given you a sugar injection, would you have been like, hot damn?
I could taste it.
I could taste it, and she shot it in my butt. You know, with a hypodermic needle.
Was the taste okay?
It tastes
a little bit of feces.
No,
I've always found B12 to be
really energizing and stuff. I've had a few different
B12 injections, but just even
the supplements, like the pills and vitamins
and stuff that you can get that are... If I'm feeling sick, I just mainline
emergency.
That's good stuff too.
That ton of vitamin C
orange little packet thing.
It's like a thousand milligrams, I think, of vitamin C.
What is mainlining?
Isn't that like the spoon thing?
Yeah. Oh, that's all
it is. You just mix it up
there and it fizzles a little
bit and it doesn't taste good but you're like this is vitamins but what is main lining i don't think
i know is that an injection like oh okay yeah yeah putting it in your arm like heroin addicts do
yeah or i guess uh cocaine you can inject cocaine too which sounds yeah i don't mean i can't imagine
that step that step where you go from not using needles for drugs to using needles for drugs.
That's a gap that I can't imagine.
It has to be a price thing.
I imagine it definitely being like...
Because there's such a big gap there, like you say.
But just imagine your life is spiraling from snorting the coke,
and you're definitely needle adjacent if you're already snorting the coke.
You know people who know people who hang out in some den somewhere and fucking shoot up and lay there all day or something.
So you're really just one bad paycheck, or if you're a salesman or something or like one apartment fire one like
minor home disaster your car goes out or something from fucking picking up a needle if you're gonna
if it's that or getting the sweats and shakes and like the the symptoms that they get uh and they
need to continue a job they might switch to the needle so that they can you know keep being a
mechanic you know yeah or their hands aren't shaking when they're changing that carburetor
the dose shrinks right like like like oh ten dollars suddenly does what a hundred dollars
used to like that's my thinking from what i've gathered from film and television and like
heroin seems so powerful that it doesn't matter that you're building up a tolerance it's like oh
do i need eight dollars worth now to get completely ruined like it's just so cheap and powerful that
like i don't think you're ever getting to the point where you're like yeah give me that fifty
dollar shot give me that fifty dollar shot that never happens i think what happens with it is uh
like people who do heroin like they'll get used to a tolerance and they'll be like i need the
you know ten dollars sunday special or whatever and then they decide they want to get clean and so they go six weeks while using nothing and then they go back
to the same guy when they relapse and they go i want the ten dollar sunday special and that causes
them to overdose and die because their tolerance went back down and they didn't consider that when
they were repurchasing so i think that's's the most common way that people die from it.
Sure, yeah.
You hear about people getting hot shots, I guess,
which is when someone intentionally gives you something bad,
like either too much or the wrong thing.
Fentanyl. I can't imagine.
Am I saying it right?
Fentanyl.
Fentanyl is one of those things that I think
is getting either confused with it or mismeasured
because the lethal dose is like micrograms or something
like that it's about as much we described on that one show as what you could scoop up with a pinky
nail as a man like that's a lethal dose of fentanyl what's the motivation for that like do they get to
like if i slip in a little fentanyl do i get to save like six dollars worth of heroin like
i remember that just real quick in school this is is, of course, Stone Ages, they're like, oh, if you buy marijuana, there's a real good chance that marijuana will be laced with, I don't know, gold, platinum, and heroin or something like that.
They lace the marijuana with stuff you didn't expect to buy.
And I always thought, why would they do that?
Yeah.
They're like –
As a kid, though, that makes sense.
Yeah, perfect.
This is the same...
Like, your parents were telling you that they put razor blades in candy
just for the fuck of it, to be like,
hey, when we give out Crackle Bars this year,
let's cut up all the children's gums just for the fuck of it.
Is everybody here cool with that?
Oh, yeah, that's fine. Just throw them in.
Like, and so, and as a kid, you're like,
yeah, so, of course, drug dealers, they're rubbing their hands together, going, ah, I'm gonna get this little fuck. cool with that oh yeah that's fine just throw them in like and so and as a kid you're like yeah so of
course drug dealers they're rubbing their hands together going ah i'm gonna get this little fuck
this isn't about making money for me at all it's about hurting people and so like looking back on
it now it's like there's no fucking way you're gonna go to a guy get uh marijuana from him and
he's gonna go actually i included some other free drugs in the bag. We drug dealers giving out free drugs.
No, of course not.
It's not their game.
Yeah, I don't think that's a thing either.
I think that that gets popularized by when someone accidentally does get the wrong thing.
And there's no telling why they might have gotten the wrong thing.
If the fentanyl thing is a thing, at least it's sometimes a little bit of a thing. I'm not sure what's going on with fentanyl thing is a thing at least it's sometimes yeah i don't a little bit of a
thing so i'm not sure what's going on with fentanyl i think that it might be people be
who are like heroin addicts being like being offered fentanyl and the guy being like this
is big f and then being like uh i don't care give me like give me half a gram or whatever you know
the the the amount of like shootable dope is that they think or whatever they're either just
buying too much or they're or they're like you know i'm just imagining a bunch of people who
are shooting heroin sitting at a table right now and uh and you know like like there's a bunch of
powders out there like i could see how a mix-up might occur right like i don't imagine them being
like in lab coats like john all right yeah you're all good here only Walter White
was that concerned with purity
is that heroin or Ajax
I don't know
I'll sniff it
I burned the fact that fentanyl
was spelled with a ph into my head
to such a degree that
it was just undeniable fact
how do you spell it
it starts with an f sound
I think it starts with an F.
It's just a synthetic opioid.
I don't know where I got it.
I don't know.
You have to feel for the people who are inventing these synthetic opioids
because you know that his job was like,
hey, people are in a lot of pain, and morphine's pretty old age.
Can you make something better?
Yeah, I'm going to go bust my ass and invent something 10 times more potent than morphine.
You know, that's like that's a titan among drugs.
You got it.
It's tough to take down morphine.
And he did it.
And of course, the first thing that people do is start dying on, you know, jerks.
All I do is make surgery easier.
That helps people with bone cancer cancer not just scream all day
but man if you put it under your eyelid
a little at a time
you'll go blind
yeah
those guys
those guys with the Vicks Vaporub
we were in the hangout and some guy was saying
that there was a thing where people would do ecstasy
and then spray themselves in the eyes
with those Vicks Vaporub like
inhalers that are meant to be like instant decongestant because they felt it made your eyes feel like an ocean breeze or something like that.
I can't even fathom what he was talking about, but that's a thing apparently.
That just means the designated driver was bored as shit that night, and so just handed out fake drugs to see what he could get him to do.
Oh, yeah, Vicks VaporRub right under the tongue, man.
A dollop every 15 minutes.
No, they're spraying it.
Under the tongue is not even weird.
A Vicks VapoRub?
Yeah, it would be.
I misunderstood.
I'm a little confused.
I'm really lost.
Me and Chiz went to Star Wars last night.
And I got to say, I really didn't care for it.
I didn't like it
at all. I thought
it was just okay at best.
I want to clarify for people
watching, are we doing a spoiler-free
review, or a spoilered review?
I guess we could do a spoiler-free review.
If we do a spoilered review, it should
definitely be on PKN, not PKA.
Yeah, I don't know if Taylor
has even seen the movie or not.
I don't give a shit. I don't shit I haven't
even seen the whole scene one I'm not gonna fucking Star Wars fuck Star Wars
it's too close to superhero it's superhero it's also shit so me three
minutes of that Star Wars movie and I'll spoil the ending there was actually a lot of stuff that i thought was lame it's a
prequel so you already know like okay taylor they're this is they they go in and they're
trying to get the plans on how to attack the death star do you think they make it you think it works
out it does pan out in the end they do more or less yeah so what have you seen it what do you have yes i and i
loved it i'm on the other end of the spectrum is all right so yeah so i just thought the space
battles were kind of lame there was there was that one like i've got an idea give me a hammerhead
corvette you know like like like you know we had that cool space battle idea that that really turned
the tide of everything. That was cool.
But, man, it seemed like there was a lot of just sitting around, not really developing characters,
and also not really doing anything cool.
We didn't see a lightsaber until the last five minutes of the movie.
And I know that it's not a movie about Jedis.
I know what this is about.
But I'd like to have seen a lightsaber before then.
That stupid necklace never did anything.
For some reason, this bothered me.
And I felt like all those characters,
like the supporting characters,
like the blind guy and the guy with the machine gun
and the pilot,
and they were just all just, I don't know, tropes.
They didn't feel like original characters, really.
How many blind Japanese Kenshi knockoffs have we seen before
like he's just he's just walking around chanting the forces with him and he is with the force and
lasers are missing him and shit that works i was jaywalking the other day
he was the most accomplished blind person in the universe because like like the whole time
he's literally dodging blasters and beating up a dozen stormtroopers with a cane.
And he shot down a fighter at one point with a gun. Who is this?
A blind character in the Star Wars movie.
I think he's a Jedi.
I think that's safe to say.
No.
Well, he's a big fan of the Jedi anyway because he talks about the Force quite a bit.
Jedi enthusiast.
And he's walking through scenes that might be the most intense thing you'll find in Band of Brothers, right?
The blaster thing's going left and right everywhere.
People huddled down and he just walks to the middle.
Like the forces with me.
I'm with,
I'm okay.
So this is a spoiler review.
Apparently when he gets there,
but when he gets there,
he's like,
where's that switch at?
He's like,
he fumbles the switch that he's like walked through hellfire to get to.
He's like,
where was it again?
Even though he's been just fucking like dodging get to he's like where was it again even though
He's been just fucking like dodging shit and walking through stuff
Is it not in that scene?
But the whole but the whole movie before like we've established
Yeah
This is a guy who can dodge bullets because he can hear you squeezing the trigger like one of those like old Marx Brothers
Clips from the 1920s where he's like walking around dodging paint cans falling unknowingly
dodging paint cans falling unknowingly like there's like
wooden panels swinging outside of New York
that would have been good
this guy as I think about it
his powers are very similar to Daredevil
yes
yeah Japanese Daredevil
was kind of lame I wasn't
into that
that CGI
I didn't see any blood
I saw so so so little blood.
The way you described it, I was expecting arms being blown off and gore
and stormtroopers crawling with their torsos not there.
There were literally some arms got blown off.
But I will admit that if an arm comes off in Band of Brothers
or a below-the-knee amputation, look out.
You're going to see that leg afterwards. afterwards it's gonna be a bloody mess there's gonna be I don't even
know what sinew is but sinew coming out yeah yeah and and like it's a real nightmare if you see an
armor leg blown off in uh Star Wars well shucks whatever did it must have quarterized it because
you know practically the clothes are sewn underneath now,
and we're all set.
So there's that, but the...
Okay, guys,
if you don't want this spoiled for you,
jump ahead a minute or two,
because we're about to spoil.
You've jumped ahead now, right?
If you're listening to this, it's on you.
They all die! All of them die! I knew they were all going to this, it's on you. They all die.
All of them die.
And I knew they were all going to die.
All of them die.
I didn't know that.
Oh, well, because in A New Hope,
they were saying,
a lot of people die to get a fish information.
It's like a fish alien saying it.
I knew that people would die,
and the death quota,
by the time the last people die,
was more than satisfied. you have lost a lot
of main characters it made game of thrones look light and uh of course it's a one episode thing
but yeah characters as significant as anyone in game of thrones that died have already passed
every main character died so everyone but by the end of it guy the rest did. I'm sorry, Black Stormtrooper guy? Black Stormtrooper guy, who's no longer a clone of the Cuban from 2001.
Yep.
He died.
He's not in this movie.
He's not in this one.
See, this goes back.
So that black guy is in episode seven.
It's on the complete opposite end of the timeline.
It's the movie we just watched is the very, very beginning.
Well, not.
No, it's.
God damn it actually got me
and make me and over using to to explain
it's right in the middle of three and
four yeah it's a yeah so episode four is
the one with the first death star right
and where they Luke shoots it in the
exhaust port and your way to go kid the
other one in a million shot these people
are getting the plans for where to shoot
it so it's right before the oldest star
trek which is the fourth one so there were none of the same characters in this one as the one that
came out last year every character was new it would have been improvement if it weren't because
they brought back princess leia and they brought back the like evil general that that um uh lord
vader like does the the air choke on at one point in the original series.
I was wrong about that.
I also described him as that guy.
He was in the room at the very least.
That's what they told me. He was in the room
but he wasn't the actual choke victim.
That actor has to be
dead. He has to have been dead for
30 years.
They brought him back with CGI.
Chiz and I both agreed it looked like Mass Effect
CGI when they brought this guy back. I have seen better human CGI in like- go to Tron Legacy with Jeff Bridges.
Jeff Bridges, young Jeff Bridges, like they de-age him. Or go to this last
Marvel movie where they de-age Robert Downey Jr. And you've got like fucking
19- early 80s
Downey Jr.
Yeah, he looked legit.
I'm telling you, this guy sticks out like a sore
thumb like a video game character
amongst humans.
His skin tone, the shadows on his
face, forget the movements
and how his face is laid out
and geometry. He looked rubber.
He didn't look like a person.
Yeah, I wasn't as critical as Kyle was.
And I also think that maybe some of the tasks
that Kyle's comparing to,
like to take Robert Downey Jr. and back off some wrinkles
maybe is not quite the same as to take a dude
that's just not alive anymore.
That's dead.
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe so.
And just create him from whole cloth.
Exactly.
That's what they did.
And Leia too. They had to create her from whole cloth. Exactly. That's what they did. And Leia, too.
They had to create her from whole cloth.
They had the old footage.
They couldn't get one old extra to just step in and be a real person?
That's the worst thing in movies.
It's so difficult to fucking get over a badly done CGI face.
It takes you...
I can't even pay attention to the human actors' faces in those scenes
because it's so upsetting to watch how they cannot get the upper lip right that for fake humans that's exactly the area that i focused
on on this cgi guy i i was like kyle said he was no it was terrible mass effect level etc i haven't
played mass effect so i can't comment on that but it was his i was like you know why is it that this
guy looks so off to me you know and we all know the thing about people and the faces and how hyper-focused we are.
And so I'm like asking myself, and it was the upper lip.
Something about his upper lip, just like he had too much Botox or something.
He reminded me so much of the Clone Wars.
He looked a little bit like the – his hair was reminiscent of Clone Wars animation.
It just looked painted. It didn't look like people matter. a little bit like the he was a little his hair was reminiscent of clone wars animation it just
looked painted it didn't look like people matter it didn't look like a living thing and i and leia
was on screen for all of eight seconds ten seconds tops and you see her face for all of like three
seconds and it's from the side so that was fine like when i saw leia i was almost like oh yeah
okay good but that other guy he's a
big one of the main characters yeah yeah and it that's a letdown um and honestly their plan is
just all right so i get it that the whole star wars thing is is about these plucky underdogs you
know winning isis yeah terrorists oh so i i i was listening to them describe what a revolution was
and why they
shouldn't give up he's like they're like we've all done terrible things yeah it would all he says it
would all be for nothing and he's it's the spanish guy with the dark skin tone who's saying this
it would all be for nothing if we do not keep going and i was like this sounds a lot like isis
like i can see an isis meeting where like like a bad bag daddies up there. He's like how many of you killed children women
My babies in their mother's arms. Yeah, quit now. This would all be for nothing
We have to fight the Empire
That's what it felt like they were getting fired up to go do a battle
I'd seen um I guess it was an isis person say this and an intelligence person say
this about isis that uh they look at star wars as a real sense of um like encouragement and like
they definitely see themselves as the rebels up against the you know the empire what does that
what did the empire do that was like that was so so terrible in the beginning? Like, I really don't know. Were they just, like, mining the Wookiee planet?
So it's a pretty complicated...
It's a real long, nerdy answer
that I'll probably butcher,
but basically it turned out that, like,
the leader of the Sith, like, the anti-Jedi,
like, the main uber bad guy,
manipulated intergalactic politics in a way that would
create a lot of strife. He created trade wars and things like that. And that allowed this
moment of time where he could seize power. He comes before the Senate like, I don't want
this power. I don't want it. He manipulates people so that they will offer it to him.
They'll say, won't you take power of everything?
The reverse George Washington.
Yes, he is the reverse George Washington,
and he manipulates the entire galactic senate
into giving him these overriding powers.
And then from there, it's one step after another of basically Hitler.
Do they find out quickly, like like, oh that was a mistake?
No, no, because he has this, there's so much propaganda, and there's so much,
it seems like everyone who knows the truth about what's gone down, especially with the Jedi,
and that the leader of the Empire, it's not known that the Sith Lord and Senator Palpatine or Chancellor
Palpatine as he becomes are one and the
same. It's this very cloak and dagger thing.
You'd always see him show up
on a hologram cloaked.
Yeah, so the plan's going through.
He killed
whatever his name is, guy from Snakes on a Plane.
Samuel Jackson threw him off the roof.
Windu, yeah.
I was thinking about it.
I was trying to remember what was it that made me dislike the Empire
when I saw the movies as kids,
and I couldn't remember a single thing other than looking at...
All that I had in my head as a kid
was just seeing the Death Star for the first time.
First of all, the name Death Star, it's a really big clue.
And then also looking at it,
it's like good people don't have things like that. It's like good people buy
homes on the beach and fun things.
I don't know.
But yeah, it's interesting. I don't know anything
about Star Wars lore.
Most people find that part to be
the shittiest part of it.
All the political stuff. But it's the part that
I'm actually like, oh, okay. This is
well thought out almost. There's a real conspiracy here that's fun to think about but that was one of
the reasons i like the new movie uh there were no not much of that senate debates there's no
house of representatives there were no veto overrides or like because if you watch like
especially i think it's the first one, right?
So this is not the oldest one, but the first one.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, just, like, Senate politics and voting.
Senator Klipflop, can you please read the minutes?
Yeah.
And then he just, 15 minutes later, last time we established,
space bucks are to remain, whatever the fuck.
Yeah.
Oh, my God thank you like i thought
you were goofing at first i'm like actually no i remember that part it's so bad yeah when they
ask a guy to recap a made-up meeting like i don't know and there's like so much time watching them
elevate and they're wildly impractical chairs where it's like, alright, now just wait
20 minutes while we wait for the green folk
from the top left corner in the nosebleeds
to float down here and say three words
about, I don't know, and then another
guy will go, they agree.
You know?
Oh, God.
Those movies were terrible.
I don't care for them at all.
I'll tell you another thing I didn't like. I had a hard time finding anyone to root for that i thought was like my guy um everybody
um i don't know i guess the girl is sort of the main character um and i don't know i just i never
really bought into her storyline she didn't seem like she really wanted to avenge her father and i
didn't really understand why she hated the empire so much it seemed like a much more personal fight
to her and then all of a sudden
she was rah rah rah
let's get all the ships and go and fight to the death
when realistically it seemed like her character
would be more likely to be like
well here's the plans and how you guys
can sort all this out. I'll take that immunity
that you offered at the beginning of the film.
Thank you.
And do you have a ship that you could, yes the one
I brought. I'll be taking that
with me that that big enormous one that must be worth a fortune you know let's just cash that in
right now like and she'd be gone not just star wars but in general this idea of like when we do
space travel like as americans we're very careful about it right all the dies eyes are dotted the
t's are crossed etc etc. When Firefly
goes into space, or when Star Wars
people go into space, they seem real
casual about this thing, you know?
They're sometimes very defying the universe.
And the guy's like, let me do them for you.
Boom! And they just go to light speed
in the atmosphere and just leave a planet
at the speed of light. I'm glad you mentioned
it was in the atmosphere. It was.
It should have killed everyone.
Yeah, there should be
some sort of back push.
They should have heated up, right?
The atmosphere just ignited and
caused a global conflagration
that would have just... God knows
Oh, I was talking about the heat
transfer to the spaceship.
Why would the... Do you think the whole atmosphere
would get heated up by this thing leaving?
I think that it would ignite the atmosphere, maybe i don't know what happens i don't think
anyone does when an object like goes into warp speed at next to your house i know that when the
fucking blue angels fly too low it fucks all kind of shit up though like this would be a major
catastrophe like a softball or something out of the international space station and it actually fell
like just the friction of that falling against the friction of the International Space Station and it actually fell,
just the friction of that falling against the friction of the air up there would cause it to just,
like a shooting star, just become fire. If you go from zero to the fastest conceivable speed immediately from the parking lot,
just directly up, I feel like it's a global sonic boom,
the likes of which people don't even understand that there is trouble is how fast it goes down.
People are like in the middle of mid pancake flip that morning in space and just just all of reality vaporized.
So meanwhile, they spent all that time and effort making the jets back because they want the speed of light.
Everything looks OK.
We've never just built a big thing to launch spaceships at planets at the speed of light
and just keep doing that.
With mass and break the speed of light
with it, right? So we know there's a sonic boom
when you break the speed of sound.
There could be a light boom when something heavy
goes the speed of light.
The light waves are just stacking on top
of each other. The lights are particle
and wave simultaneously, so this is probably
a little above our pay grade.
It's definitely above my pay grade.
I think we have a good...
We know enough to know that it would be very damaging.
It would be bad.
You wouldn't just do it, I don't think.
So another thing that bothered me was the robot.
There's a robot character.
And so this is supposed to be
early in the saga. We're still
at the point where we're using clones
for the troops and everything
and they just got the Death Star built.
All of a sudden, they have the best
artificial intelligence robot I've ever
seen in the Star Wars universe. Who is a
goddamn tank who could
take out a hundred men hand to
hand if there were no weapons involved?
No, no.
They've got a new robot who's like a humanoid, bipedal hulk of a thing who fucking can conk you on the head, knock you out, shoot a blaster like he's Clint Eastwood or something.
Better.
He's a robotic targeting system.
Yeah.
You know what?
He's an aimbot.
Yeah, sure.
He's outrageously he's
outrageously unfair and he calculates he's he's like a reprogrammed uh enemy droid and he's always
like calculating the probability so like he's he's like there are like 85 troopers between us and
where we need to go we'll die before we get 30 of the way for sure and they're like all right well
let's take a take a breath here then let's get that number a little higher i was thinking about with like the empire could have saved so much time
and effort and taking down the jedis if instead of those bullshit rifles they just gave everybody a
laser shotgun just and it shoots instead of one thing it just shoots four nothing out of control
nothing crazy still cost effective i don't know but it shoots four and then even the worst stormtrooper out there if he gets
one shot on mace windu sorry mace you're not getting four of them because they're all coming
at the same time right at you like you're not going to block them all you could have put me
in charge of the empire and it's a strong galaxy. I mean, real guns might work, too.
I mean, you know, a bunch of guys with real guns would probably
work, too, with real shotguns. I mean,
you go back to Star Trek, when the Borg
attack, and their phasers start
not working, and it's just like,
man, if these guys had a gun right now,
they would... Just a regular gun.
If they had me with them, like, toss
them an AK, and I'm like, here's an AR-15
Captain Picard, you got 30 rounds there, don't waste them. You're had me with them, toss them an AK, and I'm like, here's an AR-15 Captain Picard. You got 30 rounds
there. Don't waste them. You're like, I've already
got number one.
Brent Spinner's over there like, oh shit,
I'm number one. Mr. Worf's getting
all hassled. It would be the way to
go. Those laser weapons
are just silly. That's true. It tells
you exactly where you're shooting, and it goes very
slow for light.
Yeah, but I thought that robot was lame because he just seemed like it seemed like if those exist then why don't you just take like
a hundred of them everywhere you go like how much could a hundred of them cost oh and then there was
an and speaking of like how powerful the empire is there's this one scene where they were like
the rebels show up late to the battle like to do their space battle
thing and uh and it seems like nothing is happening for like 20 seconds of space fight
and then like the empire's like deploy the tie fighters and they open up this door dude and tie
fighters pour out it's like you opened a honeycomb and like tie fighters like fly out like an Amazon factory. You know how you can tell Kyle's more evil than the Empire?
Because he put all the stormtroopers
out of jobs, right?
The worst part of all
this is the unemployment, the
ravages on the... These people have
families, Kyle.
That's why even if they proved to me
that they were like their own people
and I was the leader, I would have my
own like inner propaganda of, no, it's all
just clones of that one Cuban dude from
like 13 years ago. It's fine.
They're gonna be fine. They're not real.
And then like, my name's Ted and I have a family.
Shut up!
I just took the job for the
summer. I didn't think I'd still be here.
It's the
Dunder Mifflin of
intergalactic control
i'm trying to put myself through night school this was a temp gig and like i just never left
well i mean there's been plenty of like comedy bits about the poor guys who were just working
construction or the janitor crew there was a whole show about that was based around um like two guys
who were janitors on the death star i can't maybe simon pegg had something to do with that but but it's just like think about that the
guys who are the janitors on the death star and you know it's it's like a 16th it's like 16 miles
through or something like it's the thing is gargantuan like it's incomprehensible it's so
fucking big he's one of the 10 000 janitors or something like that that's on this thing
like he doesn't have anything he doesn't have have anything at stake in this whole intergalactic game.
He's going to be cleaning up intergalactic toilets no matter who's in charge.
Whether it's Darth Vader's poop or Princess Leia's poop, he doesn't care.
And all of a sudden, Luke Skywalker rolls in there like,
oh, let's take out a few wombats and fucking blows up his moon base
and kills him, his whole family, presumably.
That seems like the kind of gig you bring your family along for.
They calculated it.
There's a number somewhere of how many people Luke Skywalker
and the Rebels killed that day.
But it would be considered a terrible, terrible terrorist attack, right?
It'd be like if they sunk an American aircraft carrier
with all hands aboard.
The Rebels are going to say it like that. It becomes really clear that nobody in the universe It'd be like if they sunk an American aircraft carrier with all hands aboard. Like, during a refit.
It becomes really clear that nobody in the universe is going to take their side after this.
Like, nobody in the news is going to be like, the Death Star was blown up,
and they're going to be like, well, that's like a, you know,
tsk-tsk to their marketing team for that name.
But, good God, you know, three million women and children, you know,
wives and families of the workers on board, many of whom,
did you know, Space Ted, that
they didn't even want to be there? They were brought in illegally?
Did that cross your mind, Luke,
when you were destroying their entire life?
Well, I knew it. They'd blown up
like three planets, you know.
I met a green guy,
a little guy. He's not around anymore,
but he's on a planet.
He told me it was a great idea.
I trusted him.
My sister was the queen of the world, and they blew it up.
Real hot chick, though.
Star Wars is a... There's going to be someone out there,
because I just am thinking about this now,
but if I listened to people with this level of Star Wars information
talk about Star Wars, but it was juxtaposed to be Lord of the Rings
I would be like pausing this every once in a while to like have my own argument road like actually
Pretending like the dwarves would be woefully outmatched in a battle with the elves is just propaganda from the elves
Propaganda I won't hear there's someone out there right now
Just so furious.
I honestly feel like we've given Star Wars
a fair shake here.
I enjoyed the movie.
The movie was beautifully made.
I'll tell you the things that it did better
than any Star Wars movie ever.
They mixed up the planets a lot and they went back to some of the
other materials and they picked planets
out of the air and you went to all these moons and there planets a lot, and they went back to some of the other materials, and they picked planets out of the air, and you went to all these moons,
and there was a rainforest planet, and desert planets.
There was one planet that was just nothing but rocks and hurricanes.
Hurricanes adjacent to hurricanes adjacent to hurricanes.
That was a planet.
It's a cob planet.
Yeah, there was a cob planet where everything was on a cob.
I liked that.
They mixed it up, and there were different- Rick and Morty reference? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything on where everything was on a Cobb. I liked that. They mixed it up.
Rick and Morty reference?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everything on a Cobb.
That one won't do.
Cobb's on a Cobb.
So I liked that, and I guess I did like that it was somewhat grittier.
I mean, our main character, he certainly isn't.
They kind of shied away from Han Solo being the guy who shot Guido first in the bar in that first film or so.
But this guy literally shoots an informant in the back and murders him 20 minutes into the movie.
He murders a guy straight up.
It was a situation where that guy was going to get taken by the enemy, and then he was totally going to rat on him.
So it was like either we both die,
or... It was either him or...
It's you or me situation.
And he certainly wasn't the Superman who's
so pure in every situation that he can't
give a bad... Oh, he shot him in the back and killed
him on the spot. So, you know.
Yeah. He was there to get shit done.
I liked it. I liked that
they were grittier. I thought it was really
good. I enjoyed it. I hope there's not another one. I can't wait for the next one. I liked that they were grittier. I thought it was really good. I enjoyed it.
I hope there's not another one.
I can't wait for the next one.
I'm wondering, do they continue that storyline?
First of all,
Rogue 2, I'm fairly sure, is Luke Skywalker's
call sign. That's what they called
themselves when they went and blew up the
Death Star. There is no Rogue 2, because we
already saw that movie. That's New Hope,
or whatever the second
one is or something like that.
I don't know if they're going to do another
mid-series
movie that's
a continuation of Rogue One in some way.
It doesn't make sense because
it seems like they've already got that
in a New Hope. So I don't think they're going to start remaking
movies. But there's definitely going to be a Star Wars
Episode 8 where we
see the continuation of
Han Solo, I mean
Luke Skywalker meeting up with
Ridley's character and all that stuff
and see what's going to go down there. Stop!
Young Han Solo movie.
Oh, there's a Han Solo movie coming.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The actor who agreed to be
Han Solo is an A-lister.
Let me Google it.
I was looking at it.
Yeah, that's good because it was about time Harrison Ford take a step back.
Well, he died in the last one.
He's getting uncomfortably old.
I didn't know that he died in the last one.
That makes sense.
From old age?
No. know that he uh that he died in the last one that makes sense yeah from old age uh no his son threw him off a bridge uh like an impossibly high bridge what an asshole yeah and like and chewy saw
it was like chewy was still alive how old is that motherfucker he's getting a little gray he's
getting a little gray that is it i assume like big dogs live like seven years i thought
that he probably replaced chewy you know like every other decade yeah but every time he moves
when you apart me he's a new new chewy yeah yeah i mean i don't know why or he just shows up once
this is stinky where's chew there's no there was never was a chewy It's always been Stinky. What is it, Woody? I don't know why I linked it.
The actor's name is Alden E. Reinreich?
Aaron Rick?
Aaron Reich?
Aaron Reich I'm going to go with.
But I thought when I heard it, I was like, oh, no way.
They got that guy?
And now I'm like, who's Alden Aaron Reich?
I don't know this guy at all.
I would rather them pick Dean from Supernatural, get that guy to play him or somebody like that.
But I don't know who Alden Eldredrick or whatever that guy's name is.
I'm so sick of the Star Wars shit.
Man, I wish they'd make some original content.
I'm hoping.
And that being said, though, I'm looking forward to this next um alien movie i know i know what it is um
danny glover is the new lando calrissian and that's the guy that i knew
danny glover and oh donald glover you mean don lover are you familiar with him by his nickname donald glover yeah you're
right it is that yeah yeah but his name is don glover which if you just shift the g it's dong
lover and and uh it was funny like he was on a talk show he's like i didn't even know that
until i was like 24 years old my name is dong lover it's pretty funny you figured that one out
early yeah yeah i was like my classmates would have been all over that i was gonna express it is pretty funny. You figured that one out early. I was going to be very surprised that they went the...
I was going to express
confusion at the Danny Glover.
Yeah, yeah. God damn!
Like, Danny Glover, you want to talk about old?
Like, Danny Glover's old.
So him playing Calrissian
didn't make any sense. Calrissian was such a minor
character anyway. I don't know what the big deal is.
Yeah, I don't remember what he did other than
sell him down the river in that one movie
he flew the Millennium Falcon
on the battle to take out the Death Star
the second time
and he was a close friend of Han Solo
so if we're going to do Han Solo
before he had him frozen in carbonite
and sold off to Boba Fett
those two were hugging each other
and he was really surprised by the betrayal
so they had a good relationship.
If we're doing Han Solo previews, prequels, then it would seem like...
Might have some Lando Calrissian in there.
Yeah.
They should have made a Boba Fett movie.
They should have just done that.
I know that it's just a nerdy thing to be a Boba Fett fan.
Everybody jerks off over that guy, and there's so much fan content.
And there's just really not enough material to
back up all their like bullshit about this guy but it would have been the better movie like it
would have been probably i don't know i didn't like this last one though so we'll see what comes
next i don't fucking care last star trek movie sucked too which one i like that one too oh man
that was horseshit what was the most recent one was it the one where it was
it was the one it was the one where they were the guy no it was the one where like that alien
um that's played by like idra idris or whatever the the black guy he's like he's like a mutated
star fleet captain who has taken a bunch of mining drones and retrofitted them and make it made them
the most powerful fleet in the universe somehow
like he's got old mining drones retrofits to take out the the enterprise and they whip the enterprise
so quick like it's not even close they literally like clip the enterprise's wings and and like
like toy with it like mining drones uh are very durable and so they just they're they
storm into battle
like a bunch of, you know, like a honeycomb
just opened up, and they just pierce stuff.
Yeah, they're just crashing right into them.
And
I don't know.
There's numerous plot issues with that.
Scotty is this deus ex Scotty now.
Scotty's always just like, oh, well, you need to
beam 20 out? Well,
you need to make this starship that's been laying here fly?
Okie-dokie.
Why did Idris Elba not know where his own starship
was hidden under that cloaking device?
You know what I mean?
Like, that's his ship.
That's his ship.
The one thing about Star Trek is I feel like it sometimes
doesn't have its own identity of, like, how extreme it is.
Because sometimes I watch Star Trek, like the Picard era,
and it is like Star Trek for office workers.
You know, like there's no athletes on the cast.
They just, at most, like even Worf just like shoots people
with the phaser.
It looks like he's snapping snaps together.
There's nothing athletic about it.
And then you go to the most recent Star Trek stuff,
the movies, and suddenly it's these like extreme athletes. Like, ooh oh do we have a problem that needs to be solved here you're in
luck i have mountaineering a bungee driving jumping yeah base jumping skills i'm a motocross
bmx type dude and i brought my sword yeah you know so like like star trek spoiler in the final scene, he restores an old Harley and starts doing laps around all the bad guys so they can't shoot him.
If I remember right, there's some big jump he has to do to save everything.
Wait, he's real bad.
No, he's on an asteroid or something.
He's on a planet.
Captain Kirk comes to save the day on a motocross motorcycle.
He gets beamed in at full speed and somehow by evasive maneuvers.
I'm going to tell you what.
I can shoot a guy on a motorcycle in 1.5 seconds.
That's how long it takes.
That is why I don't support your paramotor zombie apocalypse plan.
He can go as fast as he wants to go.
He could get all the speed
up he wants. It's not going to matter.
I can shoot a disc the size of my hand
going 60 miles an hour.
You're a fucked dude on a motorcycle.
I've seen Kyle hit skeet and
a motorcyclist would have no chance.
As a matter of fact, if Kyle
and I were to shoot competitive skeet
shooting against each other, am I saying skeet wrong?
Did I just accuse him of masturbating? No, okay. I've seen Kyle skeet, ske shoot competitive skeet shooting against each other. Am I saying skeet wrong? Did I just accuse him of masturbating?
No, okay.
I've seen Kyle skeet, skeet, skeet.
Let me tell you.
He would probably double or quadruple my score if we went against each other.
And I would take out the motorcyclist.
I would take him out.
Oh, I see where you're going.
I could kill a motorcycle.
Imagine if – this isn't even...
This is thousands
of years of difference, right?
In technology and shit between
a Harley Davidson and spacecraft.
Right?
It's like 250.
It's a lot of time.
If we had a contingent of Marines in the Middle East
and some maniac refurbished a chariot
and went in seeing if he could just bamboozle our military that way, contingent of marines in the middle east and some maniac refurbished a chariot and
bamboozle our military that way like there's a zero there's a zero percent chance that he
lasts more than one second because at the very one soldier they're like are you going to the
right now i still got i can still shoot you i can shoot you go to the left i can shoot you
anytime i i don't have to move as fast as you.
I'm just aiming.
It's angles.
You don't even have to go to current.
If that happened in the 1940s or the 1920s, they'd still get them.
I don't think a chariot would do that well in the Revolutionary War.
Chariots weren't great when they used chariots.
That's why they operated as soon as possible.
Some guy with a bow and arrow but it's just so goddamn dangerous to strap
two horses to this wagon and hope for the best we gotta invent gas you know
that part made no sense um and i don't know like little things every step of the way it was like
all right you're just gonna fudge the facts like make up the numbers
push like the the realm of possibility and probability to the side like those aren't even
going to be considered i mean the movie starts out with some completely uh unconnected diplomatic
mission that kirk is on that's against these really cute tiny aliens and it's a really fun
moment i guess and in that moment he acqu acquires this what do they call it?
A ker-muffin or something.
He acquires the device, right?
The cube, the hypersphere
or whatever the bullshit thing
is that everybody wants.
And so immediately, he runs into
the alien guy who needs it real bad.
He's like, oh yeah, that's the
other half to this in like a chunk.
That was just kind of...
I mean, if it had been in the...
If he had acquired that piece in the very first reboot movie,
and they waited until now to be like,
oh yeah, remember that thing that we got way back when?
It applies now.
And it was also low stakes, right?
Like, what were the stakes of this movie? A failure?
I mean, I guess the ship dies.
That's about it. The people all die, it like don't the Federation eventually take out the like
mutated alien and his rogue group of miners like that I mean it do we have
little Klingons involved like really took Kirk to figure out just the right
rock song yeah that's how they beat him by the way they played fucking the
Beastie Boys over the radio and that's how they destroyed the drones and i shit you not 500 years in the future from
the point of the mining machine you get an uber you know advanced zamboni or whatever the fuck
when captain kirk figures out that if he plays the beasties beastie boys on the radio all the
mining ships explode.
Yeah, that's how we went at the end.
And there's this scene where it's like,
there's this scene where the Enterprise is just flying, like,
don't give a shit mode.
It's not the Enterprise.
They've recovered another ship.
But they're flying their shit, like, don't give a shit mode into the drones
while shooting all their lasers, but playing can't stand it.
As loud as the fucking enterprise
sabotage right am i crazy uh well that's maybe i'm thinking it's the same song i don't know what
the title of the song they're screaming can't stand it like they're streaming sabotage that
there's like the only two words of the songs i saw it i think
oh yeah right you're right I probably have the song wrong.
But, yeah, anyway, you know what?
It's silly.
It's silly.
I get that.
I get that it's like some Sean White of the future.
He's the Carrot Top Snowboarder dude.
Like he was solving all the problems through fancy footwork and bungee jumping and base diving.
But I was watching that movie, and I'm just like, yeah, get scared and i'm just like yeah i just like i loved
it i know like look it's i enjoyed the movie it's a popcorn movie and i was down to popcorn
but i just want more from star trek i i want them to do more with that like like if you want to make
some like silly thing where we're like we don't care what about about the numbers and the science
and if it all adds up in the end then you could just do another avatar type movie something like that
where just throw the rules to the wind and do whatever you want make blue aliens that and we
can move our souls inside of them or whatever that movie's about but i don't know star trek's
supposed to be about scientists flying through the space like getting shit done and like not
being racist or sexist or uh any of that stuff That's really what it is. Like everything you said is right
but I really like the movie man.
Can't stand it.
Like this fucking don't give a fuck mode.
They can still play the Beastie Boys. They just have to
do their math first. That's all.
Like in the final
scene there's something
fucked up about gravity
so the problems are solved with
base jumping skills.
It would never, see that's the
unbelievable thing is that a good
song would never be the one that
you needed. Any song would have worked.
You know what song would actually
destroy all of those ships
is he'd have to hit it and then you'd go like
rah rah rah ah ah
rah rah rah ma ma
and he's like alright I'm sorry we have to play this as loud as galactically possible for the next hour and a half.
I'm sorry, everyone, but it's the only way to survive.
You don't get three minutes of Beastie Boys to rock out and then just celebrate.
It's bullshit.
You know, I found out the lyrics to that song.
Who sings that?
Lady Gaga.
She goes into, what's it called? Carpool
Karaoke. She's like, it's romance.
And that's what she's saying.
Like, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah.
Something rah, rah, rah, romance.
She's just stylizing the word
romance. I'd say
over-stylizing it. One might agree with that.
Yeah. But just to say
Star Trek is awesome. I feel like watching it right
now. I want to go YouTube the final scene at the very least.
On Netflix?
Yeah, you can enjoy it.
Is it on Netflix?
I don't know.
I don't watch it.
No, it's not on Netflix.
The new Captain America is on Netflix.
You know, Winter Soldier.
Not Winter Soldier, but the newest one, Civil War.
Civil War is on there.
Is that a Captain America film?
That's Avengers. Am I crazy? I think it's Captain... Wasn't it Captain, Civil War. Civil War is on there. Is that a Captain America film? That's Avengers.
Am I crazy?
I think it's Captain...
Wasn't it Captain America Civil War?
Yeah, it's Captain America Civil War.
Okay.
So then there should be Avengers too.
At this point, does it even matter how they brand it or what they call it?
Not that one in particular.
Yeah.
Not that one in particular.
Yeah.
Although the Hulk's not there and Thor's out of the picture.
Good.
Thor was obnoxious.
Yeah, they left the god and the guy who's indestructible out because it's not fair.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know.
I don't even know how powerful Thor is.
He seemed like he was kind of even with Iron Man when they fought each other.
He's a god.
I mean, at the end of the fight, eventually Tony Stark's suit's not going to work
and Thor's just going to have plenty more lightning hammer to go
because he's a god. I think
Thor wins that one every time, right?
There's a YouTube channel that does those.
He's got the worst voice, though. He's like,
if Thor actually combated
the Hulk, he would find that
the Hulk's uncontainable rage
would give him a disproportionate
advantage over his
Mythlorian battle
tactics and his magical
abilities. It just wouldn't stack up.
I saw the movie Passengers recently
and I go to this nice
movie theater that has
electronic reclining seats
and table trays and stuff.
We did that last night. It's very nice. Yeah.
I'm a huge fan. I just tend to go there.
So I sat next to this guy, and I swear to God,
spitting image of the comic book guy from The Simpsons.
And I didn't realize it, but when I put my arm down,
he had this, like, leather fedora or something
that had, like, taken over both armrests that he had to scooch over.
Like, crumpled it.
Well, it just shifted a little bit and, like, made me, because it's dark.
pulled it well it just it just shifted a little bit and like made me because it's dark and uh dude i i i guess i had just never seen a cartoon character in real life that's really the beginning
and end of the story every so often like he'd not like something in in the movie and he's like
they just like sort of grumble in a way like uh like homer simpson's wife like marge like right
yeah what movie was it?
Passengers.
It got bad reviews, but I enjoyed that movie too.
I thought it was good.
I do not have high expectations.
I'm going to let that one come on out.
The review's just not looking too good,
and I just don't know about the premise.
And I've had about a little bit too much J-Low.
Oh, man, that Joe Lozon fight was crazy.
I couldn't believe that at the end. Is he your guest this week?
Yeah, I think so.
I guess we can save talking about that until then.
But, like, wow, that was a crazy decision.
Couldn't believe that.
Although, I will say, that fucking BJ Penn fight went exactly the way that I thought it was going to go.
Like, it was –
And he was –
No, he got destroyed.
He got massacred.
BJ, in his defense, He got massacred. He got kicked again and again.
DJ, in his defense, had a very good chin.
So it was like –
Yeah, he was real good at getting kicked.
The best at it.
Just picture two Street Fighter characters,
and one of them had a –
it was just hard to knock his bar down.
That was his thing.
And he just –
I didn't want them to end it because
i wanted to see yair kick more i was like those were his round one kicks you guys haven't even
seen his round two stuff he's gonna do the double kicks now but now's the flying stuff like he does
that like dude he'll kick with one foot and then you think like oh well he's probably using the
other foot for standing purposes nope nope he just got them both coming yeah they might come from different directions he might fucking
twist his body in the air like he'll come in swinging his front his back foot to the left
and his left foot's coming up swinging to the right he'll kick you in the leg with his with
one and kick you in the face with the other it's absurd halfway through the first i was like can
you throw the towel like like yes dj is so
clearly thinking that he can still fight he's standing there absorbing a ton of punishment
and i guess you know he's got a chance everyone has a chance chance right i think so i mean this
looked like a bully taking on a kid this looked like all right but that was like joe rogan was
having such a hard like i was stuck his chin out and said, I dare you to hit me.
And then he did and he hurt him.
I don't know.
Yair kicked himself twice.
It's so clear that Yair wins this thing 999 times out of 1,000.
Do we have to go through the circus of watching you take brain damage?
Because that's all I'm watching.
I'm just watching a guy get kicked in the brain.
I said that as it was going down.
I was like, you know what?
This is so bad.
I don't understand because usually this has to be like a –
I don't think that the old –
I don't think the Furtado brothers would have made this fight.
This seems like you're feeding a legend to an upcoming guy,
and that's not traditionally what's done, I don't think.
It's usually you kind of give them –
They just fight each other.
This was not that.
This was a very young, up-and-coming guy
against a very old, over-the-hill guy
who still has a name that can draw money.
And they just fed BJ Penn to this guy
in a way that I felt like they should have had BJ Penn fight like...
Well, I mean, shit, he already had his goodbye fight
when he fought Jens Pulver.
Like, that should have been his goodbye fight.
You're right.
Dan Hardy's talking about coming back.
Do you know Dan Hardy?
He used to fight at 170, which BJ sometimes did.
In his best, he lost to GSP in a title fight.
BJ was so cut.
Yeah.
A lot of cardio.
BJ looked good.
But then Dan Hardy went on, like like a four-fight losing streak,
if I recall correctly.
And, you know, he just something – he fell off a cliff.
And now he's like, maybe I can come back.
Maybe I can do this.
He's entertaining the idea.
So you've got a guy who hasn't fought in like three or four years.
That would be a perfect BJ opponent.
Sure.
Yeah.
It just doesn't seem fair to put him against like what –
I mean, like I've been watching a lot lately.
So like and Yair is the scariest thing that I have seen lately, like in the last maybe six or six or eight events.
He stood out big time, like with those kicks. And they're like, oh, this is the new Showtime.
This is this is the new Anthony. And this is the guy.
The thing is, like you said, in the matchmaking, BJ Penn was almost a perfect opponent for Yair, right?
You've got to, he was a heavy bag.
And this guy does amazing, flippy, crazy shit.
If you take Yair against a guy who's like excellent at distance management,
like a Conor McGregor, then probably Yair looks stupid.
You know, a lot of those double leg kicks,
he just falls on his hip and hits nothing.
And like, I think that, I think there's a solution to the Ayer puzzle,
but BJ was never going to be anything close to it.
No, BJ's not long enough for it.
His striking is boxing-based, purely boxing-based,
and Yair is taekwondo-based and muay thai.
He's hitting with both sides of his foot.
In hindsight, they were building up Yair's name off of BJ's
they were like hey look here's a main event
people are going to know about Yair because we're excited
about him and they did that
at the expense of BJ
yeah I think so too
I agree and it seems so stupid
for BJ to take that fight
in related news I saw that Dana's offering 25 mil apiece to Conor and Mayweather.
I don't know. I think it's silly to even discuss what happens with that fight until we know the rule set.
Because there's so many different rule sets that it could be under.
And Mayweather doesn't want to get hurt. I know.
Mayweather has never been hurt
the way you can get hurt in MMA.
Somehow Mayweather seems...
So what I enjoy most about this stage of it
is the negotiation.
Like I find that really interesting.
Mayweather saying,
I'm the A side, right?
Like I get more than the other guy.
Dana White coming out with some kind of saying,
hey, look, your last fight did 300,000 buys.
Conor's last two didn't do it.
Like, I'm going to make it a 1.2 and 1.5 million buys,
something like that.
Now, the fight before his last against Pacquiao,
they did like 4 million buys.
It is the record at 4.4 or 4.5, yeah.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
So, and I watched them go back and forth
to talk about who's the A side, who's the bigger fighter,
what's the bigger deal about this, who needs money.
You know, Mayweather hears the offer and says,
oh, that guy's a comedian.
And then the next step on this is going to be rules.
How big is the cage?
Is it a cage or is it a ring?
Do they wear boxing gloves or do they wear MMA gloves?
It's the gloves.
Right?
So I think it's interesting to watch all of this unfold.
I don't consider myself particularly, like,
great at high-level negotiations,
but I do love the show.
Like, I'm a student of it, but I don't know.
And I just watch, like, you know,
people play their cards,
talk about who has what, what there is.
You know, heck, Mayweather may be more interested
in fighting at $30 million with boxing gloves
than $50 million with MMA gloves.
Like, how does this all play out?
Right? So, I don't know. although it's like i enjoy it it's about the rule set um you know and mayweather's not going to want to play if there's takedowns or leg kicks so you're talking
about a boxing match right so then like does connor immediately like do you if it's connor
standing there like a video game
character ready to go and you say
boxing and does his stance just stand up a little
straighter his legs get a little closer together
he shifts he turns around a little bit and now
he's a boxer or is he like no this is
how Conor McGregor fights
yeah and then
if Conor McGregor trains for boxing
for I'll make it up like 8 months
right does he come back to his next MMA
fight with a real ring rust
having not worked on his ground game
all that time? I don't know.
I don't think it's going to happen.
I don't think that fight's going to happen because Mayweather
has been so careful protecting
his legacy.
So here's one of the things about Mayweather.
He produces his own fights. He puts
on his own fights. He is his own Don
King. He's the guy
renting the staples center or wherever the fuck they go so he's all about cutting out middleman
and this is just a huge middleman getting in the middle of if he's going to like go to another
sport or have some kind of like big crazy exhibition fight but it would be the biggest
thing in sports because connor's name is is enormous and and floyd's is like globally respected
in boxing you'd bring all kinds of fans that you
normally don't get. I think you'd break
the record. I think you'd do more than four point
whatever. I think it was a Fight Companion podcast
where they argued the opposite. Where they
said that Floyd is really a domestic draw
and Conor is international.
I don't really have any
stats. I don't know.
I don't know.
How would I
gather the intel
on Floyd's global appeal?
Anyway, it's super interesting.
I like watching it. And Connor wants a
piece of the UFC
in exchange for his next fight and all this crazy
stuff.
It's something
else. And Connor being the only star in the UFC,
I like watching the
entrepreneur aspect of MMA in addition to the actual fights themselves. else and connor being the only star in the ufc i like watching the backs the the the entrepreneur
aspect of mma in addition to the actual fights themselves the belts are all fucked up um that's
a thing now too like like oh there's two good guys from the same division fighting throw an interim
on it and uh because it used to be they would say oh whoever wins i'll make it up like you know
weidman rockhold gets a shot at the next champ, right?
Like, they just did that with Romero.
Who'd Romero beat?
I don't know.
It just feels like there's a lot of talent piling up.
Weidman.
It seems like MMA is normally a conveyor belt moving toward a meat grinder.
And for a while now, it seems like the meat hasn't been going into the grinder.
It's been just stacking up, and you've just been, like, setting guys aside and being like, oh yeah, this is a keeper.
Oh, and he's a keeper too. He won't fight anybody.
I don't know. There's so many talented guys
that are between 145
and 170.
There's so goddamn much talent in there.
And just guys who can hit those weights wherever they're
walking around at.
We heard him talking about Tyrone Woodley today.
What's he walking around at? 200 and shredded?
It's terrifying.
Yeah.
Lots of talent.
And you're right about that too.
I feel like champs aren't taking –
it used to be the champ had to take on the number one guy all the time.
That was it.
That's what happens.
When you're a champ, you're always fighting the toughest guy.
Matt Hughes, every time he fought anybody,
that guy was considered the hardest one
around. GSP, right? With the exception of the Diaz fight, every time GSP defended his belt,
in the Matt Serra fight, I guess, where he lost, but every time he defended, it was the second
best guy at 170 all the time. Now, you know, you get Bisping fighting Hardy. You get belts being held up with the McGregor stuff and Diaz.
You get, I don't know, Woodley.
Woodley is like, of course, I think he's going to fight Wonderboy next.
But he tries so hard to fight anyone but the toughest guy out there.
Woodley, he's calling out Nick Diaz.
He's calling out Bisping.
McGregor.
McGregor, Bisping.
He wants to keep that belt so bad.
He'll punch down.
He'll even punch up in the case of Bisping.
But he knows if he loses at 180, then he keeps his belt.
I'd be scared of him if I'm Bisping.
Like, I don't know.
Bisping is holding on to a belt that
probably shouldn't be his like like i if you if we have a tournament tomorrow and like you know
we put on fucking yeah yeah if no if the ufc if everybody shows up and fights it what you know
everybody pick a weight having a tournament tomorrow they're fucking gonna pad up and we're
gonna have a point-based like system we're gonna figure out who's the best and then we're gonna stack you guys and then we're going to have a point-based system. We're going to figure out who's the best, and then we're going to stack you guys,
and then we're going to start fighting that way.
That's what they should do.
You can't have those guys going in there getting murdered,
but fucking put headgear on them, and I don't care what you've got to do.
But I'd like to know where the skill levels are,
and they've got to do something about those weight classes.
Are you going to have two weight champs all the way around?
You're going to have Mighty Mouse stepping up and taking a belt.
Maybe you're going to have a man of Nunez.
Nunez is going to whoop whoever takes that 145 belt.
Whether it's Holly Holm or that ugly man that she's fighting next month.
I hope Holly wins.
I hope she does too.
And I don't want Nunez to get a shot at the 145 title because don't we already know?
I guess because.
Give it to her. That kills the 145 guess because like give it to her like like it should be 145 class no it becomes her well it kind of does but if that's it then so be it right like
like if there's a woman who fights at 145 who can step up to amanda nunez then she should get the
belt if there isn't then amanda should wear it if she's got a vagina weighs 104 can can come in
there at 145 or less and destroy anybody they
put in front of her, then she's the 145 champ, whether it makes money or not.
You're kind of winning me over.
Yeah, I hear you coming from- I'm okay with two belt, three belt, four
belt champs.
If you've got a guy who's like- Yeah.
The only trouble with the four belt champ, I know you sort of exaggerated to get there,
is belts get stagnant and dormant.
Now you got to make them fight. You got to put them on different timers for each belt. sort of exaggerated to get there yeah is it like belts get stagnant and dormant you know like now
you got to make a fight you got you got to put them on different timers for each belt you mean
like look connor i know that you're a little beat up from that last jose aldo fight you had to do
like but now we need you to step up because wonder boy wants some like you're just moving
him up and down the ladder he's coming all right here we go again he got his belts in the corner like
as you know is considered a ton and that's half as many i want two defenses a year if you can't
defend it then you should then you probably shouldn't take it but they should start they
should start offering the fight and maybe put in like a you know you turn down three of our fights
then you're gonna have to vacate that belt or something i don't like how they kind of just took
it away from him but then when you asked and he's like oh no no connor's the the 145 champ because he
hasn't been beaten at 145 but yeah there's that other guy who has a belt too uh ignore that ignore
the man behind the curtain with the belt like he is not and the man behind the curtain's like no no
look look it says ufc and everything Look at the back. It's metal.
This isn't the gift store one.
He's swiping his champs card at the UFC headquarters.
It's not working.
They promised.
Yeah, you're right.
While they stripped Conor of the 145 title, as a fan, who's the top guy at 145?
I guess it's Conor for as long as he makes that weight.
I don't think he's making that weight anymore.
I think he's done with that.
I think he's going to be a 155 guy.
And I think it seems to me that what he really would love to do
is do these exhibition fights
where it looks like he's doing something crazy,
like when he fought Nate Diaz,
but really he's just racking up tens of millions of dollars.
The Joe Rogan circle all seems to agree with you that
he won't hit 145 again but the connor i'm sorry the mcgregor camp is like dude i can hit 145
anytime i want i've never missed that weight i've never you know like it it's hard i can see
the connor camp being like watch out 135 like like like look look out everybody you know the
connor camp though they're insistent that like like, I'm the 145-pound champ.
I can do it again.
Don't make me come down there and kick your ass, much like us Northerners feel.
Go get sweaty and go home.
Yeah, right?
I think he should do that just for the fuck of it.
Just go down there and just beat the shit out of the 135 guy, if he can.
Maybe by that point he's so emaciated that he's just withering almost,
and the other guy's like, oh, finally, he just lost too much.
He's really, really big at 145.
I don't know if there's ever been a bigger 145-pounder.
So no one really thinks he can do 135.
I don't know.
It's so weird to be the
because of the the cutting weight you know you'll see people in that you'll see mismatches that that
you're like and you'll hear the announcer be like yeah he's a big 155 pounder yeah and you're like
dear god like how much diuretics do they have this guy on to get him in here like did they
remove some ribs exactly this guy is bigger than me and he's fighting at 145.
He's like 6'2 or something.
His cardio is bad because he's got one lung, but you
gotta make weight. Meanwhile, he's
fighting a man who walks around at like
160.
I don't know. That can be problematic sometimes.
I'm more excited about the
Polish chicks. I want to see what happens to the Bantamweight
division. I hope Nunez
beats up some more chicks and we have high-level fights.
It's fun when you see the opposite, too. Like, Frankie
Egger for a while was the 155-pound champion,
right? This guy would walk around at
like 159.
And he's the toughest guy on the planet at 155.
And he was just known
for being as good in the fifth round as he was
in the first. His opponent is the equivalent
of a V8 that sucks down
gas. And Frankie is like, I'm just going to kind of not get hit in the first two rounds is the equivalent of a v8 that sucks down gas and frankie is like oh i just
gotta kind of not get hit in the first two rounds and wait until you slow the fuck down and and you
know that he would have all these like amazing comeback fights like two against gray maynard and
like he he was the comeback king and it's like dude this is a cardio monster because he doesn't
deplete himself the day before the fight.
Who's Garbrandt fighting next? Is he fighting TJ Dillashaw? Yes.
Didn't he ask for Dillashaw to get tested
pre-fight? Yeah, he asked
for something I don't fully understand, like
extreme testing or intensive
testing or something like that, like a higher
level of... Extreme vetting.
Maybe he wanted to
test his blood, make sure he's not a Muslim okay I
talked about weeks ago like I saw him and instantly thought they call it gyno
but what's the full term for it when I got a pleasure is it okay and anyway he
has his gynecomastia is probablyia? He has puffy nipples.
He has puffy nipples.
They're always hard, which is weird.
And they're a little puffy, TJ Dillashaw.
If you look up like Dillashaw versus Linkler, then you'll see like recent pictures of him.
It's not extreme extreme.
Like he's not a chick or anything.
Do you think you could milk him? You think maybe he lactates a little if you were to give him a little pinch?
I give it a go, yeah.
What do you think he'd doates a little if you were to give him a little yeah yeah what do you think you do to you anything you wanted anything i just hope that he doesn't want to do anything
because it's really on him
so uh uh but yeah i i called out dillashaw as a steroid guy and then i looked into it more
recently favor called him out his old teammate is a steroid guy and he was like you know dillashaw is a steroid guy. And then I looked into it more recently. Faber called him out, his old teammate, as a steroid guy.
And he was like, Dillashaw looks like nothing now that you saw the role.
And he looks like a little boy.
I didn't notice a big difference personally.
And then someone else called him out as a steroid cheat too.
And now Garbrandt does.
And I thought I saw it.
The eye test.
The guy's got nipples.
I was a huge fan of Garbrandt's last fight,
so I want him to stay whole.
So, because I feel like a guy like that
could get fucking kicked in the head
and then not be himself anymore,
like BJ is now.
Like, BJ lost a little bit of himself the other night.
We all watched it live on TV for free.
He got kicked way too many times.
There was one
360 degree spinning kick
that he took to the head.
That was just a casual thing he threw in.
It wasn't like he crouched
and charged up. He just threw
that in. There was a front kick
where he just kicked
him like that with the front of his fucking foot
and it was awful.
Why would BJ Penn volunteer to do it?
He was 37
and he thought he still had it.
Oh, speaking of which, Kennedy just retired.
At 37.
At 37, yeah.
I might be wrong on BJ's age.
I thought BJ was like 41.
No, we looked this up. He's 37, I think.
37 too? whatever so um
uh yeah tim kennedy retired that's like it's probably the right call you know i know he took
a real whooping last time against kevin gastelum who um is not like the division elite well he's
good but he was good enough to really beat the shit out of tim that night yeah that perfect
and but i don't think people see him as a future champ or anything whereas kennedy was
at times kind of the uncrowned champ i mean he could beat the fuck out of bisping he did
right he beat him he beat bisping um and he nearly beat yul romero probably would have won that if
the guy
didn't like they call it stool gate
like between rounds he took an extra
extra 30 seconds of rest
and he couldn't answer the bell
Tim Kennedy pretty much knocked the fuck out of him
at the end of the first I think it might have been second
and he couldn't answer
the bell and his team is like spilling
ice all over like oh I can't fight yet
pouring water on the ground
oh yeah look we all left we left his chair in the ring His team is spilling ice all over. Like, oh, I can't fight yet. Pouring water on the ground.
Oh, yeah, look, we all left.
We left his chair in the ring.
I wish Tim had attacked him.
I wish Tim had waved off anyone and everyone who thought different and said, pointed up the clock and fucking went after him.
And he's like, no, no, no.
Looking at the ref and Tim's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is a fight.
The fucking ding, ding.
Out with your ass with that stool. With the stool. Like looking at the ref and Tim's just like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is a fight the fucking ding ding like like I
That was it that's how he bought time he's like he's like he just kept sitting on his chair when it came time to fight He should have went over there drug him off his fucking chair
And then he lost that fight if they spilled too much
I used to spill too much water
but like a crew had to come in and clean the canvas and
And the guy needed it couldn't answer the bell, so his corner cheated.
Should have called him out.
Yeah, they should have been like, done.
And Roller Amer, by the way, I think he's about to take the title from Bisping.
So beating that guy, which in my head he did, was a pretty notable thing.
Yeah, I would bet against Bisping.
I would bet against Bisping for sure.
So Kennedy was on that short, like in that little rotation in my
mind like like right there kind of with weidman rockhold and jacare as you know like guys who
could beat the champ and now he's retired so probably a good call the thing is being a fighter
it wasn't that profitable for him like he had a fight called off and his fight camp
apparently was equivalent to pretty much his show fee and um and then his next fight of course you
know i guess he got the show fee again because he lost and uh you know he's just calling making
money as a fighter yeah but on the other hand he's making easy money searching for hitler or something so i can see why he's making the shift yeah that's smart yeah he's got that special forces background
and everything and he's a well-spoken guy yeah no need to take any brain damage he's not bj pan
bj pan's rich did you know that good i didn't know that he no he has even even more retarded
to go out there and take that fucking brain damage the other night i'm telling you he
you couldn't have picked a worse matchup.
BJ looked shorter than this guy significantly.
His arms looked stubby.
It looked like a big, powerful, young collegiate baseball star taking on a catcher from the 80s.
It was like, whoa, whoa, that's not fair.
That guy's meant to fucking sit behind the plate
for nine innings.
BJ was always rich.
He was born into wealth.
I think his parents owned a giant Hawaiian hotel
or something like that.
I just know
he's at a level where
work was always an optional
thing for him.
Where he'd be able to get some treatment for the brain damage.
Can you find him getting his head kicked in on YouTube?
Or is it they always seem to take all that shit down right away?
They're vigilant about that.
Yeah.
What was his name?
Yair?
Y-A-I-R Rodriguez, I think.
Let's see.
Yeah, here we go what what do these people have to get from just uploading pictures of the fight with music
youtube money oh this one might be oh did, did you see this? Dude, this is off topic, but so we've watched a couple trends now.
We've seen the Hydraulic Press channel.
We've seen the Hot Knife channel.
And I was like, dude, the shredder.
Like, I wanted to do the shredder.
I looked into how much it costs to buy a shredder,
and a cheesy fucking gay one was like $10,000.
And the one you really want is like a quarter million.
I was like, yo, this is just prohibitively expensive.
Like,
so I never did it.
Some guy did it.
Some guy bought a cheesy fucking gay $10,000 shredder and he's getting like 6 million views
of video.
Yeah.
And he's shredding the gayest stuff.
Like,
like here,
a bottle of Elmer's glue.
Uh,
he did,
he tried to shred a knife,
a hot knife and it broke his shredder. He had to
disassemble it and take it out.
It doesn't reverse,
so if things get stuck,
you have to take the shredder apart.
At the end of that video I linked,
there's an interesting thing. They're showing the
longest active win streaks in the UFC featherweight
division. You got Max Holloway with nine,
Conor was seven, and Yair was six.
See, that's what I'm talking about with the meat grinder.
Just fucking...
It's...
It's jammed. It's not grinding meat.
He's gotten
kicked in the head so many times
in this minute and ten second clip.
Yeah. Like, this...
You know, I don't really
feel bad for him. What you think was going to fucking happen
you're 37
and that guy looks like he just
finished high school
like he's not going to be tired
he could fight you
he could
this guy looks like he could do three of these fights in a row
if he felt like it
are there any 37 year old
retired hockey hall of famers
retired in the hall of fame imagine a hockey player at 32 right he's so awesome he immediately
gets inducted into the hall of fame and then at 37 he's like you know what i want to give this
another go like he's lemieux almost yeah yeah and then they'd come back and they wouldn't be able to compete because the game passed
him by.
Like, yeah.
I mean, the Yager's still playing, but that's the exception, not the rule.
I was trying to like tell Kyle last night to turn on the Pittsburgh Washington game
because it was like the cream of the crop best hockey game to get someone
who's not into hockey into it more.
The final score was 8-7.
There were 9 goals
scored in the second period.
I was like, that's 15.
You can't fool me.
Yeah.
But no,
it was crazy. The Penguins scored 6
in the second period. Malkin got his own hat
trick in the second just for the fuck of it ostensibly but i don't know it was a really
good one it was a good game blues are playing right now probably losing we'll see nope they're
tied the blues are fortunate to be in the weakest division in hockey right now oh atlantic is the
worst by far i don't know i'm positive this. It's like a known thing on hockey forums
that Atlantic
is having like a
almost historically bad
compared to the other teams
whereas Metropolitan
is tearing it up.
Like Metropolitan
strongest in the league
this year
definitely.
But
yeah that's
oh man
Philly
fell
the fuck
apart.
You know
they won
games in a row and in the 14 games since then, they've won two.
I have a response to that.
A 10-game winning streak, and then almost a 12-game losing streak.
How are the Penguins doing?
It's okay.
You want to know why?
Why?
Go Hurricanes.
Yeah, go Hurricanes.
The Hurricanes are hot.
They're on a four-game winning streak.
They're about to pass the Flyers.
That's the beauty of having a backup team, baby.
It's going to be so fun when my predictions come true
and the Blackhawks take on the Penguins for the Cup.
That's what's coming.
It could.
I'm not betting on the Blackfeet.
Yeah, I wouldn't bet on the Blackfeet just because.
Oh, they're going to stomp all over you black feet are a whole team that is tied up in their top line right now
and they're like they have like five guys who have enormous contracts like if they're gonna
win another stanley cup in this era for them of cane and taves they gotta do it fucking now
because they will not get another shot next year.
Like they're just not going to be good enough because they didn't know.
I mean, but they mortgage their future to get those three Stanley cups, which I think makes their GM a really great GM.
Like if you can say, hey, we're going to win three Stanley cups in the next seven years.
But for that period after that, for a few years, we're going to suck dick.
Like we're going to be paying a couple of old guys a lot of money.
I'd say like, yeah, for sure.
Definitely pay those old fucks.
Like just get us a cup already.
We've waited 40 years.
You're kind of projecting at this point.
It's 50th season.
Missed the playoffs eight times in half a century.
Never won.
Never won.
It's a year GM.
I get,
that's interesting. So you're GM. That's interesting.
So you have a GM who gets you into the playoffs every year,
like Boston-like run,
and you're not happy with it,
whereas you get a team that goes hot and cold.
I like that better.
I want a championship every now and then.
Would you rather be the Canes?
I'd rather be the Canes,
where they go a long amount of time sucking,
and then they win, and then they go a long amount of time sucking. Well, for the Canes, I'd rather be the Canes where they go a long amount of time sucking and then they win and then they go a long amount of time sucking.
For the Canes it was different because they were such a new franchise
it wasn't like there was a waiting period.
It was like six years later. It's like, who won the Stanley Cup?
It's like, fuck you.
Nobody cared.
They also lost the Cup too.
People sometimes forget but two years before
they won it they lost it.
It's an accomplishment to get there.
Yeah, for sure.
But I would, yeah, I'd rather have the team that has the real high highs
and then the real low lows if you actually get some wins.
Whereas St. Louis was like, hey, how about we just make the playoffs
from 1979 to 2005?
Should we ever win it?
No.
Some President's Cups mixed in there.
We don't want a good draft pick, but we don't want the worst draft pick.
You know, it's like, I'm just picking middling idiots.
You know, suck dick for a few years and let us win.
I want the Flyers to put some rookies in.
I keep reading, like, everywhere I read,
apparently if they're, like, in the farm system,
they are the runaway winners of players not in the NHL yet.
They've got three goalies, and I know Taylor has said that goalies are particularly difficult to project who's good and bad.
But they have three in the Olympics for junior hockey.
They have a bunch of forwards.
They're just super strong all over the place.
I'm convinced there is some hungry as fuck defenseman who just
wants to wreck house you know in the nhl or they're giving train goss despair a lot of ice
time i think unless he's still injured but he's not a rookie technically last year was his rookie
year but he's gonna be good uh he is already but yeah i don't know i know that's part of the sport
i don't follow as much as like draft picks and prospects because I don't want to be let
down and be like, oh, like I know our first round draft pick this year was Tage Thompson.
Every once in a while, I see something on the St. Louis Blues Reddit where it's like
Tage Thompson.
Awesome goal.
It's like not going to watch that.
Don't fucking care because I'm just going to be like, man, maybe we really do have a
top line center. Maybe he's going to come up next year and then undoubtedly he's going to watch that. Don't fucking care because I'm just going to be like, man, maybe we really do have a top-line center.
Maybe he's going to come up next year.
And then undoubtedly he's going to come up, suck dick,
and be like, well, he's just another guy who couldn't hack it in the big leagues.
It's a whole different league.
Who is this big T play?
Tarasenko is right wing.
Oh, okay.
The best right wing in the NHL.
Can't argue about that.
Yeah.
They have to make claims that are obscure enough.
It would require me to name a better right wing.
You know, one time Crosby shifted over.
He would be an asshole and just play another position to be like,
hey, did everybody see me play right wing last night?
Just wanted to establish if I wanted to,
I could be the best at that.
I'm going to strap on the goalie pads for next game
just to keep the rest of you.
Oh, it's so hard.
The park's so hard and it comes so fast.
Get out of there.
Call it a wrap?
Yeah, I think it's the same thing. yeah alright that was
PKN episode 127
I hope you guys enjoyed
it's still recording
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