Painkiller Already - PKN #130

Episode Date: February 17, 2017

It's PKN time baby! ...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 All right, PKN, episode 130. How you guys doing? Good. Doing great. Yes. Taylor and I have moved in together. This is our new apartment. I, as you can see, got the worst room. Yeah, it's pretty cramped. He sleeps on the floor back there. You can't see it, but there's a pile of old clothes.
Starting point is 00:00:19 He's forbidden all posters or what he calls individual art. That's to be frowned upon in this in this home it's a lot of us but no identity it's a very fascist regime but the rent is low yeah free no so since since we've been here uh taylor taylor brought his magic card people don't know you guys went on vacation in denver yeah yeah so we're in Denver, and Taylor brought his Magic cards, and I'd never played Magic before, but he brought these dual decks, which basically make it so that you don't need a huge amount of cards.
Starting point is 00:00:51 They're already set up for, like, multiplayer play, and they kind of do away with the card-collecting aspect of the game. It's just like, these are good to fight against each other with. And we played the first night, I think. We sat there in those chairs for nine hours nine hours straight without moving i think the legal marijuana may have helped with uh
Starting point is 00:01:16 the sitting amount of time that we were able to just sit there and do nothing nine hours we turned magic into sieve. No, we played many, many, many games as I was learning to play. We played nine hours straight and then the next day we played maybe six or seven hours
Starting point is 00:01:38 straight and then today we probably played three hours worth today and it got to the point where we were like we should go to Walmart and just buy some fucking magic cards, right? Shouldn't we just have a whole bunch of them? And so, like, here we are, grown men. Like, the only other people in that aisle at Walmart was this tiny little lad who came up to, like, my breastbone or something.
Starting point is 00:01:57 And he's, like, getting some Yu-Gi-Oh cards or some shit. And I'm walking out of there with, like, this. They can't see, but, see but like my hands heavingly full of these fucking uh magic the gathering cards and we're going back home and like cracking them open and like opening uh decks and looking for nice cards so we have full-on gotten addicted to to magic um it's it's really fun really quick though like yeah there was a couple really aggravating games where you could tell after we did the draft in the beginning where you have yeah because i don't understand the purpose of the draft like we were halfway through it and we were like you know i was asking like kyle what's
Starting point is 00:02:32 your strategy looking like you're gonna go white red blue what color and you were like i was supposed to be thinking about colors and i was like yeah man like what else would you be doing but i was like all right i guess he's new good ones, and so the whole first game was you just being like, I don't have anything to play that. I can't. This is just a pile of... And then at one point, you were complaining about not getting any land, and we realized that Kyle wasn't playing from a deck at all.
Starting point is 00:02:55 He had started drawing from another pile of cards sitting nearby. And so, of course, nothing was working. But, yeah, we're having a lot of fun with it. Magic is great. It's not the coolest thing to be buying. I pretty much got it down now. I certainly don't understand every single card
Starting point is 00:03:12 interaction and special ability and how they work and all that stuff. But I got the basics of the game down. I really like it. I've been having a lot of fun. I'm almost glad that the online version of Magic isn't as liked as much because I think it's better that I only play this when I'm with other people.
Starting point is 00:03:33 This shouldn't be an online thing. It's so much more satisfying to have the cards and play them, I think. Yeah, it's more fun to physically have it so you can kind of feel like the fuck you. Like, nope. Like the first thing Kyle did when he was playing, like if you don't play Magic, you know that blue is kind of the color of control and assholes and people who just get more pleasure from making you fail than their own success in a way. And you played that deck, and you're like, oh, this is all about me.
Starting point is 00:04:00 I'm loving this. Nope. Oh, you want to play that? Counter. No. Put it back. Oh, I see your sad face like that's what it does but yeah that's a real troll deck i like that a lot yeah
Starting point is 00:04:10 yeah we're having a blast so what do you've been sick oh you sound pretty oh really dude you have i haven't been on skype yesterday i was like yesterday i was like if i sound like this i might ask to postpone the show because I was just completely hoarse and phlegmy and disgusting. This is the best I've sounded in quite some time. And but I'm just, I'm weak. I'm tired. Every so often I'm like, you know
Starting point is 00:04:36 what? I'm done being sick. Fuck this. I get up. I make it to like the kitchen and I'm like, ah, fuck that. No, no. I want to lay back down. You try to will yourself to being better. What was that movie, Gattaca, or whatever it was where the guy can't go to space, and so he has to act like he can run 10 miles in the morning.
Starting point is 00:04:55 It's like you can't. Your heart's fucked. Stop pretending. Fake it until you make it. In the end, that movie just shows that if you're a stubborn asshole who disobeys the rules and you find one crooked doctor, you can sabotage a trillion dollar space mission. No! No, that's not what it shows. It shows that you
Starting point is 00:05:10 never let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do because they don't know what's really on the inside and that's all that matters. You might have more fire in you. You might be able to push yourself farther than the guy who's got the perfect body and the perfect heart and all that stuff. I love fucking
Starting point is 00:05:26 Gattaca. That swimming scene where his brother, who's genetically engineered, is swimming with him and he's like, I don't understand! How can you do this? Because the game is, you swim out to sea until one of you gives up and you turn around and go back. Bearing in mind, you have to get back to shore
Starting point is 00:05:42 because you're swimming out to sea, so you have to calculate that. You have to be like, whoa, I'm at like 49.9 of my total strength here we need to turn around and he won't stop he's just go and the guy's like how are you doing this how are you doing this he's like i don't save anything for the trip back it's great it's so great i love gattaca too and and by the way i'll mention this when the gattaca and me is that guy's success successful at denying his problems whereas i just succumbed to them 30 seconds into it like but anyway uh the swim scene i didn't like one they're not very good swimmers that's a thing uh two looks great i couldn't know i'll circle back on that but like like murka like if you were to watch I'll catch up to that
Starting point is 00:06:25 but like it just didn't make any like I never saved any for the way back but clearly he got back all these times like that is the one
Starting point is 00:06:33 line in the movie what he meant was he never even considered it he just gave whatever it took to get there and then that was secondary he never even considered it
Starting point is 00:06:42 it wasn't that he was like he was like purposefully using every ounce of strength he had. He was just going for the win. And if he got back, he got back. But that wasn't his primary concern. Primary concern, winning. Secondary concern, surviving.
Starting point is 00:06:58 Yeah. The thing is that he literally did out-swim his brother every time. You can't just be like, well, you know what? I gave it all I got. How are you beating me all every time like you can't just be like well you know what I gave it all I got how are you beating me all the time that was the only time that was the only time he'd ever done it that's why the brother was shocked he's like how are you doing
Starting point is 00:07:15 this because every time throughout their childhood the genetically superior brother had beaten him time and time again so it was like a moment of reckoning you know it was it was big that's a good movie it is a good movie gattaca's outstanding oh and on the swimming thing it taylor i'm sure if you watched a guy took a slap shot that it that had really never taken a slap shot before it didn't have it developed you would instantly be like that guy's a non-hockey player yeah i watched justin bieber
Starting point is 00:07:43 play right and while he's out there with nhl guys looking like he's's a non-hockey player. I watched Justin Bieber play. While he's out there with NHL guys looking like he's not... The guy played hockey. He could skate. He could handle a puck. He's Canadian. They can all play. Yeah, it's in the DNA. I was like, oh, look at that. Justin Bieber can play hockey. You instantly see
Starting point is 00:08:00 a guy who's played or not played. Did you immediately like him a little more? I liked him since his last album. I little more? Oh, well, I... I liked him since his last album. I knew he was Canadian, and so I liked him some, because I like Canada. And then seeing him in the All-Star game,
Starting point is 00:08:12 I'm like, oh, that's neat, because most celebrities don't like the NHL. They like the NBA. So when you see, like, the NBA All-Star game, it'll be like, fucking Jay-Z, Beyonce, whoever else is relevant. And then the NHL All-Star game is, like, some really famous dude from Russia.
Starting point is 00:08:26 And then Justin Bieber, I guess. Yeah, Michael J. Fox back when he could move around. He's not a great player at this point. I stand corrected. He's really his core competency. He's their goalie. He never knows where to shoot. He's just all over the place.
Starting point is 00:08:43 Michael, crazy hands that's a very like turn of the century kind of name for a professional athlete like i'm convinced that in 1904 you could break into any professional league on the planet if you just like when you went into the like you found like maybe a table next to the bar the team owner and you just had one guy across from you throw a fight and just stand up and be like, I guess that's why they call him, you know, never give up Willie or whatever the fuck. He's like, yeah, that's the kind of spirit we need on our team. Come over here, sign a contract.
Starting point is 00:09:16 No, five pennies a week and all you can eat. Play for the Yankees and that kind of thing. Like you could, you didn't actually have to be athletic to be a professional athlete until like 19 i say 1930 1940 up until then it was just people who were like man we have a lot willing to play yeah harvests have been great recently what are we going to do with the other half of the year like why don't you take up a professional baseball hon you should love it you know that one guy from new york's doing great you're great at beating all the Jews with that stick you have. Jesus. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Man, I can tell how sick you are. You're totally... I'm so sorry. I hope I'm not disgusting on the mic. I like it. It's sexy. I feel like we got ripped off last night at that restaurant we went to this restaurant
Starting point is 00:10:06 that was highly touted as a good spot to go because it's the oldest restaurant in Denver it was called Buckhorns yeah like the Buckhorn the Buckhorn something like that anyway
Starting point is 00:10:22 they've got like dead animals all over the walls, like zebra, mountain lions, just dozens and dozens of dead animals, and their big selling point. It's even from that genre of place where it's like, you know when you go into TGI Fridays and you're a little bit stressed out because it's like, oh my God,
Starting point is 00:10:40 there's too many license plates and cuckoo clocks glued to the wall. It was that feeling, but with dead animal heads, where it was like, get it, you cunt. Dozens of dead animals everywhere. Were they all impressive, dead animals? Yes, some of them were. There was a two-headed goat.
Starting point is 00:10:56 It's one head, but two faces attached, and looking away like a conjoined head. That was shot, and the head was mounted. There was a zebra, elephants, everything. Do you have a level of confidence on how real they were? Would you be able to tell? 100%. The deal is that all of the animals in there,
Starting point is 00:11:13 all of them were killed by the family that still owns this restaurant ever since the 1800s. Huh. Yep. What did that dentist from Michigan kill? Was it a lion? He killed Cecil the lion. But like Kyle was saying about this being family owned.
Starting point is 00:11:30 It's been family owned for generations. And so I think that we got the shitty cousin of a waitress that they can't fire because she's part of the family. But she gets to just ruin the reputation. Because we, I'll let you continue Kyle because you started it. But our waitress, I was was not happy not happy with that but you know my two meals were 143 dollars and i just didn't feel like i got that uh 143 dollars worth of food um i got it i think i got like elk and buffalo and uh uh like a baked potato you're forgetting for appetizers, we got rattlesnake. It just was rattlesnake and alligator tail.
Starting point is 00:12:09 And so it was like, these are fun things. These are new things, things that will be fun to try. We can at least try it. And we ordered rattlesnake. And it comes out diced up, like chipped chicken almost, in just a cheese dip with a bunch of chips. Maybe this is being pedantic, but if you sell me
Starting point is 00:12:30 Rattlesnake, that's unacceptable to deliver it in a way that I can't tell it's Rattlesnake. I want it coiled up. I want it coiled up and sliced like a sushi roll, and we each grab a bite, dip it in a spicy Southwest sauce, and that and that
Starting point is 00:12:45 is how you serve rattlesnake it tasted so similar dipping and getting it on there and eating it when i tried it i was like i could be just a fool like this could be chicken if you gave this to me and didn't tell me this is a snake i would have thought it was chicken and in a cheese dip and then the alligator tail oh my god i was even i ordered this right after we got the rattlesnake, and I was like, alright, we gotta try something fun. Alligator tail. If this doesn't come as an alligator tail, I'm gonna be so upset. I wanted just like an alligator tail to cut pieces off of. And, you know, it doesn't have to be a big one, just a little alligator, I'm not picky.
Starting point is 00:13:18 And then they brought it out, and it looked just like calamari. It was just, I guess, sinewy strips of alligator tail that they fried, and it was just like calamari it was just i guess sinewy strips of alligator tail that they fried and it was it tasted so disappointing like calamari you even dissed it in cocktail sauce i am 90 sure because she did mention calamari in the same breath that she fucked up and brought us calamari i do not think we ate alligator tail i'm i'm sorry i had alligator like a month ago and um yeah it's like deep fried and i i expected it i don't know why i thought it was going to be in like the steak family because it's like a big strong animal but it's more like in the fish family the alligator is in the reptile family well i guess i'm talking about food groupings. I don't eat any other reptiles. Nope. But I was like, it's kind of fishy. It's like – I wanted to eat it and say, oh, it's just like chicken because that's what everyone who has no sense of humor says.
Starting point is 00:14:14 And it wasn't. It wasn't like chicken at all. It was really kind of a tougher sinewy fish. And also the meal we got, like the size of – so you could get like platters with a bunch of different kinds of meats. And I got quail and elk. And they gave me a piece of elk that was so small that like at a real steakhouse, if that amount of meat had fallen off the plate on the way to get it delivered to you, they'd be like, whatever, fuck it. It's still fine. There's still plenty of meat to give to the customer.
Starting point is 00:14:42 And it was such a tiny amount. And then the little two quails that I had looked like played men. Little poor little quail. Well, at least they looked like quail. Yeah. They were delicious. They were very good. But other than that, I wasn't happy with it. I felt so sorry for this quail because someone had to kill that tiny little bird that they served you to eat.
Starting point is 00:15:02 had to kill that tiny little bird that they served you to eat. Basically, I really felt like we got overcharged just for looking at those dead animals. We ate another meal after that, I think. I have a plan. Next time we take a different sort of vacation
Starting point is 00:15:17 instead of Colorado and magic, I come and I will keep the waitstaff in line. That's what I do. Oh. I feel like Taylor was shocked that I did not tip that waitress, but I did not feel like she deserved a tip. I felt like she was an absentee waitress. She wasn't there most of the time.
Starting point is 00:15:40 And when I went to pay the check, you know, she hands you the check, I said, ah, I'll pay this right now one second and I like start counting out bills I'm counting her tip right she walks the fuck away I'm like oh well I guess I got some ones I can pay exactly I can do exact change
Starting point is 00:15:58 and she brought me a dime back and I was like thank you that is annoying I think it would have been better if you push the dime back no no no i wanted the dime i wanted to make sure she didn't get that dime like like you know that you're right about that you know that feeling like when they give you the check and you go like this to be like like last night i was like all right i'm gonna get my credit card out and give it to you and you're like right here and they're speed walking away
Starting point is 00:16:22 where you're like well hold on hold on jesus fuck like that take it like take it real quick like we told you we want to leave because you've been standing here ignoring us i tried to flag her down like right after we ordered the the snake and she walked right by me and i guarantee um everybody saw me we sat there for half an hour before we uh we got drinks i think so so, I didn't feel like she deserved a tip. I felt like she was a subpar waitress, so she was going to get no extra monies from me, especially when it was already $143 for, like, two tiny pieces of meat. So that's how that went down.
Starting point is 00:16:56 So it just goes to show that, and I was thinking about this the other night when we were eating there as well, is that this is a restaurant, because it's the oldest one in Denver, they didn't ever have to earn that title so there was you know in 1908 they were probably still serving food the owners were out hunting for fun they just staff it with whoever in the family they can run the place and they just serve kind of okay food but they get by on the fact that they're the oldest restaurant in denver you know we were 20 years old nobody else is older than 19 and they're still doing it today we got suckered in because there's a lot of den animals on the wall
Starting point is 00:17:33 how are they didn't even serve us real snakes you didn't like a drink either you got a gigantic like 20 beer and uh and and immediately didn't end up drinking it it was not good that oh yeah that sucks but that's that's the way she goes you know they didn't brew that beer i picked it out i thought oh it's got cherries that sounds good and then it was not at all it was horrible i would have made the same decision and oh and the worst part is we did of course at that place have the options instead of getting those tiny little portions of elk and buffalo of doing the shared three-man, three-pound steak experience where they bring a giant New York strip steak loin
Starting point is 00:18:18 that's cut anywhere from two to four and a half pounds out for you. But nobody wanted to do that for some reason. I don't trust anything where the selling point is the size of the item. If somewhere's like, hey, you gotta go to Joe's Food Shack. They've got a
Starting point is 00:18:38 meter-long corn dog you can buy. It's like, well, who the fuck's gonna eat this? Is that the selling point? I noticed that you didn't say, this is a really good-tasting corn dog. Are buy. It's like, well, who the fuck's going to eat this? Is that the selling point? I noticed that you didn't say this is a really good tasting corn dog. They have the finest sausages. That was just one guy who was like, fuck.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Teddy's Custom Sausages is packing our shit in ever since they opened up. What can we do? Well, we don't have the skill to compete, but we can make a goddamn huge corn dog and hope that children badger their parents enough to keep us in business. That's what they did. This fictitious restaurant that I'm talking about now.
Starting point is 00:19:07 That sells big corn dogs. I've been eating like such shit. We've got to slow down. I can feel my insides don't like it. You deep fried a piece of candy the other day. I deep fried a lot of pieces of candy. Yeah, that was something that...
Starting point is 00:19:23 You didn't like that? There's no excuse. I like the flavor of it, but it's also... There's no excuse. Did you bring a deep fryer? Or did he come to your place? No, I got a... You know, we got a house, so it's a fully stocked kitchen.
Starting point is 00:19:40 I use this service called Instacart. They deliver groceries to your home, and I just had some peanut oil and supplies delivered for free. You don't tip those people either. And I just fried them there in the kitchen. You freeze the candy first, batter it, fry it in oil, and you're good to go. So I thought deep frying, in my head, it was like a special equipment. It held like a gallon of oil.
Starting point is 00:20:04 Did you deep fry like on an open flame or something or does it come with the house came with a deep fryer um deep fry is just whenever the food is submerged in the oil okay um so like those big deep fryers the purpose of that of course is that you're lowering a whole fucking turkey and it's got to be specialized in my head but you can do it you can deep fry on your on your stovetop with just you know two inches of oil because you know it's a candy bite that's an inch thick so it'll was it a jolly rancher because that's what i'm picturing no no you do chocolates and stuff like that like chocolate twinkie butter i you can do ice cream uh anything like that
Starting point is 00:20:41 yes deep fried stick of butter you You freeze a stick of butter overnight with a skewer stuck halfway through it, batter that shit up, fry it, and... Are you going to do that? I ate two sticks last night. If I married Kyle, I would happily weigh 450 pounds.
Starting point is 00:20:59 I don't think you'd happily weigh that. I don't know. It sounds pretty cool. Down 700. No, I didn't eat you'd happily weigh that. I don't know. It sounds pretty cool. Down from 700. Yeah. No, I didn't eat the butter last night, but I did eat like a crackle and some Snickers and some Reese's and stuff. I got like an assortment of candy and just froze it all for four hours and then fried a few pieces.
Starting point is 00:21:17 It was delicious. Yeah. Yeah, we do need to slow down on the shit, though, because I feel like my body is like almost it's in near revolt. You know when you're playing Civ or Total War Warhammer and it's like your civilizations are getting rowdy. They're not going to riot yet, but they're very... They're discontented. They're not happy.
Starting point is 00:21:35 That's what all my organs are doing. My digestive tract, they're in displeasure. The bowels are in full riot. They're totally rioting. Yeah, I need to eat a fucking carrot or something. Jesus, I'm going to die. You ate like 30 incredibly hot hot wings last night or something like that. I tasted one of the ones he ordered, and tears were pouring down my face for a solid two minutes.
Starting point is 00:22:01 It wasn't like I could dry my face once and be good because tears were flowing and i'm just like how the fuck are you just like chowing down on these to taylor eat them like they were just french fries or something like he ate boxes of them they were so good i don't yeah i can't relate to people who who had that superpower like like i've had things before where like you just tip it on your like just touch it to your tip of your tongue and you're going for water and stuff and then and then this guy next to me he was indian and he just ate it like like it was ketchup like it was easy to eat the flavor is called wild if anybody out there is a buffalo wild wings connoisseur and then his secondary flavor was mango habanero and he he was like, oh yeah, that one's not hot at all. And I was like, oh, well give me three or four of those.
Starting point is 00:22:49 And I ate one of those after just having recovered from the wild. So I was already pretty fucked up. Same thing, just tears flowing. Your asshole must just really take a beating. I mean, you've got to put Vaseline on it. No, it's callous. Like a day worker's hands. Ah, damn.
Starting point is 00:23:12 They were so spicy. They were not good, no. What was good was the medium ones, the honey barbecue, the hot honey mustard, the ones that were flavorful and savory, not the ones that were so much spice and hot that it that it like damages your tongue you liked the asian ones though i told you those would be and i the
Starting point is 00:23:30 asian zing was tasty yeah sure sure i like hot wings i do too i like eating meat off of bone it's very you know i've noticed this is how it should be i've noticed that you're not an early riser uh is is that a common thing or is that just a vacation thing? It's a vacation thing. Yeah, just whatever thing. I have a hot wing eating technique. Are you guys familiar with how to eat the wings? You press it on the plate to sort of break it and then you pull it out and you can get a thing.
Starting point is 00:24:01 I'll have to show you in person. I used to play ice hockey with a guy who was a hot wing eating champion from Buffalo. And he's like, you guys might not know this is how you eat a wing. Cause I, you know, I always only liked the drumsticks cause everything else,
Starting point is 00:24:14 like how do you even eat that fucking double bone bullshit thing? The wing. Yeah. The wing itself. And he's like, you do this. And he's like, you just sort of break the seal.
Starting point is 00:24:23 I am the Merca lobster of hot wings. Yeah, I've seen you do it. You're very good at it. Yeah, I've never done it. I actually prefer the wing ones more. Really? Because I don't know why. Because that little flap of skin or whatever that's on the top of the wing,
Starting point is 00:24:39 it always gets crispy and good. You're a guaranteed good bite there. Sometimes the drummy ones, you get one where you know, like, wow, this was a fucked up chicken. We've got a lot of growth hormone, and this is a leg that if I saw this chicken walking around or dragging this enormous behemoth leg behind its shriveled little body, I'd be like, ew, who would eat that chicken leg?
Starting point is 00:24:58 And then it shows up in Buffalo Wildlings, but still good. Or it has muscle on one side of it. You're like what what horrific accident did this chicken get into it has like a quad but no hamstring and you're like ah well all right quad it is yeah there's there's a you you watch you know those clips where you see they walk through the chicken coops and they pick up the shitty ones and just throw them in a big vat and just go kill them or get rid of them or whatever? It's easy to watch that for two seconds and be like, oh, that's kind of cruel and a little too harsh. Until you think about, imagine being seven hours into your first day of work in the chicken coop, picking up the retarded ones and throwing them in a box.
Starting point is 00:25:44 You'd realize every time like these aren't even alive like i don't even think of these as things like you know you're laughing but you know what i mean i mean you absolutely you have chicken experience oh yeah yeah they're not real creatures just think of them as like plants or something it's like mowing grass just just just just just take it don't even don't even consider it. Oh, sure. Then he beats Henrietta and everything changes. That's exactly what happened. We took one chicken and we socialized with it rather than having a herd out there or what we've done before, which is like place the chickens out in the field
Starting point is 00:26:17 at like 500 yards, 600 yards, 700 yards, and they'll just sit there. They're not going to walk around especially if it's cold and start sniping them out with a.308 or something. They go poof. It's like you hit a feather pillow. The poof of white feathers. And then the coyotes are going to come for what's left and you get to shoot at them.
Starting point is 00:26:40 And then the birds come for them and you get to shoot at the birds. And then the wolves come for them and then the spider birds come for them, and you get to shoot at the birds. And then the wolves come for them, and then the spider monkeys come for them, and then the bears come for the spider monkeys. And then eventually the game warden comes and gives what all the hollabaloo is about, and you get him too. And they serve all the meat at Buck Hunt, whatever the restaurant. There was a picture of a man on the wall.
Starting point is 00:27:02 Yeah, there was. Like it was so much overkill, the amount of dead animals they had in that place like it made it was so much that it made the room feel smaller because of so much stuff protruding from every side like it did it was they were very high ceilings but it didn't feel like that where it was like it was like a forest low hanging limbs like drop a deer and put up a mirror would you you know exactly put a mirror up jesus christ open this place up a little bit you don't have to still abide by your we stick by our feng shui from 1893 when we open these doors my great-grandfather or whatever she would sound like they survived the great depression though
Starting point is 00:27:41 like maybe something cool did happen there. I don't know. They didn't have to earn that, but maybe they did. Maybe all the other restaurants dropped off during the Great Depression, and these guys with their magnificent fake rattlesnake survived. They've been serving chicken as rattlesnake for over 100 years. There was a scenario where Chiz was sitting and not paying attention, and a gentleman looked at him and says, he's like, your next son, what are you, stoned or sleepy?
Starting point is 00:28:14 It just popped in my head. That was funny. How did he answer? Do you recall? He was like, uh-oh. Neither or both. I don't know. He didn't say anything.
Starting point is 00:28:24 Yeah. It would have been funny. A little of this, a little of this little bit what's good here it was very early in the morning it was far too early for anyone to be stoned oh but but but yeah i'm surprised you're like sleeping till like noon one o'clock like today i last night we went to sleep at two in the morning and i woke up at 7 a.m and then i was like this is a little too early and i slept to like, like, maybe one more hour. I got up at 8.30, showered, and, like, we sat around. I cleaned the whole house up, and then, like, it was 10, and I was like,
Starting point is 00:28:52 where the fuck is he? And by this time, Chiz is finally taking his shower and getting ready for the day, and finally, we went out for, like, an hour and a half, and we're driving around doing stuff, and we're like, I hope Chiz isn't awake. I hope Taylor isn't awake, wondering where we are and it's like well he's fucking he's gonna sleep he's gonna sleep sleeping all day by the time yeah i woke up and then was just like
Starting point is 00:29:13 i walked out and i was like is anybody here anybody then walked out and car's gone i'm like all right that's neat that's okay and then just took a shower it was no big deal but i always i like sleeping because i feel almost like it's time lost and like sleep that I won't get back if I have like a totally open time. Like if I wake up at like 9 in the morning and I know like I have nothing to do today. Like I want to sleep like another hour, another two hours. Early morning stuff. Yeah, get up with me.
Starting point is 00:29:40 We'll do the things. I'm just sitting around watching TV with Chiz. Yeah, there's nothing to do. That's what you missed, though, right? I feel like you should promise an activity. You're like, no, we'll do the things. Yeah, dude, you don't know. We got, you know, Thundercats.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Well, no, we're waiting on Taylor to get up so that we can plan the next activity or see what Kitty wants to do or see if her friends are going to come over. I'll be up same time as you tomorrow morning. We'll make that work. Alright. 5am. I'll be up slightly after you tomorrow morning.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Why don't you just give him permission to wake you and then you don't really have a problem. Oh, you don't want that. No. If you wake me up in a rude way, I am off kilter and salty for at least a few. Your whole morning with me will be ruined. I'll just be a snarky asshole.
Starting point is 00:30:31 Like I if when I do have to wake people up, I try and just like do it like that's my I always, you know, if the Bible taught me one thing, that golden rule of treat people the way you want to be treated. I employ that every time I wake somebody up, like to the point of it being like creepy where i don't know the person well enough i'll be like you know karen karen you gotta go last time we were out here it was the final day and uh um it was like the sun had risen and i knew chis chis's's train was leaving at like 7am or something like that or he had to be up at 7am, something like that. And I hear Chiz's alarm go off and it's
Starting point is 00:31:12 super annoying. And it goes off and it goes off and it goes off in like 10 minutes and I'm like, the fuck? And I'm like, well he's not going to make his thing. So finally I go in there and I knock on his door. Wait, nothing.
Starting point is 00:31:27 Pound on his door. Nothing. Finally I cracked it. I'm like, hey, hey. And when I open it, I can really hear what's going on. He's got eh, eh, eh, eh. And there's a podcast going real loud, like Joe Rogan's fucking blaring in there.
Starting point is 00:31:41 And I'm like, Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! And he goes, You gotta go, buddy. He goes, No. And I closed the door. He didn't remember any of that shit.
Starting point is 00:31:57 I brought that up just the other day. And he was like, Oh, really? I had no idea. That's funny. I remember early on in my relationship with jackie like she'd have the she'd hit the snooze button right we're sleeping in the same bed she snoozes three times it's like woman this is unacceptable snooze button is for single people you can't just fuck up 27 minutes of somebody else's sleep like you're alone here that is so true and i have been a dastardly culprit of that before oh where i have
Starting point is 00:32:27 i have left snoozes on for so long and then later you realize like oh man i just kind of fucked the last hour and a half for them like because they had to sleep in between my every seven minute burst of half of a dumb song that comes to fault on the phone yeah it's it's not fair to the other person no not at all not at all fair other than that you know i think uh what other activities do we have planned kyle if i can if i can tear myself away from this wonderful bed um i don't know what do you want to do? Airsoft. We're not going to be able to drag Chiz to Airsoft. We might literally drag Chiz to Airsoft.
Starting point is 00:33:12 I know, but he can't hear us now. He can hear me. I can see him in there. He's a little twitchy. If we can't bring Chiz to Airsoft, we can bring the Airsoft to Chiz. You and I, when we do wake up early tomorrow morning, zoot on out to whatever
Starting point is 00:33:29 close-by store, we pick up a couple of the cheap ones. Not the ones that hurt, but the ones that hurt enough that he's not happy with it. And then just hold that little trigger down and ying, ying, ying, ying, ying, ying, ying, ying, ying. Shoot him like that. What if you armed him? You could give him a pistol with a post-it note saying, defend yourself.
Starting point is 00:33:46 And now you've got a game. I would put it that. I'd make a series of obstacle courses he had to get through. And I think designing an obstacle course for Chiz could be one of the easiest things ever. I think I'd put it 30 feet away on the ground
Starting point is 00:34:02 and then maybe I'd close the door between him and you put like a mattress on the floor yes yes I'd pour steps that would do it is he busy on the second floor you guys have what is the place like is it one story two story um it's one story with a basement that's got bedrooms down there. I hadn't walked into the basement until
Starting point is 00:34:31 a few minutes ago where Chiz is staying. That's nice. He's got a TV down there. He's got his own little house down there. A washing machine. That happened on the Whitewater rafting trip too. We were both upstairs and then Cheez just managed to get the
Starting point is 00:34:48 floor to himself. It was the basement. There's one extra bed down there and it wasn't even listed on the thing. It's literally like a clown blanket on whatever the tiniest mattress that is made, whatever that is.
Starting point is 00:35:04 A cot. And it's like tucked in behind the stairs Harry Potter style. I was looking at the whatever the tiniest mattress that is made, whatever that is, a cot, and it's tucked in behind the stairs Harry Potter style. I was looking at the laundry and I was like, holy shit, someone would sleep back there? Oh, fuck, that would be the worst ever. It's such a depressing little bedroom. It's like a series of unfortunate events, that whole series and everything.
Starting point is 00:35:24 That looks like the little bed that Count Olaf Olaf gives to the Baudelaire children when they show up and they're forced to sleep there. Nobody? Nobody else knows that series? If I brought my dogs, that's where we'd have put them. They'd have their own little bed down there. They'd have their own bed down there, wouldn't they? Or whatever the voice sounds like. Can I go change it a little bit?
Starting point is 00:35:40 I don't even know. Yo, my bed's a butthole. Ugh. I'm abused how much Taylor hates that accent. Oh! I can tell how far back your tongue is in your mouth when you're doing it, and it bothers me. It sounds like you're about to swallow it.
Starting point is 00:35:57 Oh, no. Oh, no. It goes back a bunch further, precious. So what's new in Woody's world other than being sick? Sick dominates my world right now. I've been flying a lot, which is a thing my wife doesn't like. I'm sick. I don't feel well.
Starting point is 00:36:14 I drag myself out, have fun for an hour, then collapse on the bed like, oh, I barely made it. You sound like Jackie. Were you out in the wind? Well, I did fly for a while. Yeah, I've had three flights in the last three days or something.
Starting point is 00:36:31 But I am awful sick, I swear. Oh, it's warm out, which is part of why I'm taking advantage of it. Eat a clove of garlic. It's 73 degrees tomorrow. 71 today. That's good weather. Yeah, it's really nice weather here yeah global warming we're in that sweet spot right right global warming's cool in
Starting point is 00:36:52 february if we're breaking it down for real like i think we're all like we all know like even if this gets like disastrous out of control we're gonna be fine like best worst case scenario we're all you know 70s 80s whatever and we get to kind of see the calamitous stuff where it's like we could then be the people who talk to the people who are coming up like wow you mean back in your day there were four seasons not one and a half and it's like yeah you know there was it wasn't just the long winter when i was a boy whatever like that's i'm looking forward to it a little bit i'm not worried about it a little bit. I'm not worried about it. Maybe my kids would be concerned.
Starting point is 00:37:28 I don't care. I don't care. They made us apologize. We'll see. It may not be an EPA pretty soon. I trust what Rick Perry is going to do. That's energy. He knows 100%. That's energy.
Starting point is 00:37:40 That's energy. What's new with that? I haven't followed in the last couple of days at all. No. Any new things? I know Betsy DeVos. Yeah, that's the latest thing. So Betsy DeVos, for people who don't know, has spent a lifetime advocating alternatives to public schools.
Starting point is 00:37:59 And things like vouchers and charter schools and things like that. Someone put it. Some Democrat said it. He's like, if we needed to elect someone to lead the war against public schools, she would be ideal. But to lead public schools, she's the opposite of perfect is what they say.
Starting point is 00:38:14 Now, 16 years ago, I voted for W because of his voucher idea. And let me lay it out there. I probably said this before, but it's cool. If you wanted to start a business today, like Taylor, the young entrepreneur says, you know what? I'm going to start a school. That's going to be the business that I create. It's a terrible idea because you're competing with free. It's very difficult for you to launch a new school and expect to have any kind of success in it.
Starting point is 00:38:38 But if those public school kids could take the vouchers, the tax money that would otherwise go to their public school, and show up at Taylor Taylor School, then schools would pop up all over the place. Maybe a musically based school or a technology school or a school for kids with special needs or who knows what, right? But kids could take their tax money that they would otherwise go to public school and pick this entrepreneurial school. And then suddenly we've injected capitalism into the school system. Then 16 years ago, I thought this was a really neat idea. I'm like, oh, this is
Starting point is 00:39:09 great. You know, we can't lose. Now, I guess I'm just a little more nervous about it. Like, I'm not sure that this idea that I love, I still love, I don't know. But if I wanted to improve the school system, I think I'd do something way easier and guaranteed. And that's just like fucking put a bomb on the tenure system, right? The idea that what happens now is some 22 year old fresh face, you know, kid comes out of college.
Starting point is 00:39:35 They do a good job for three years until they're 25. You get tenure. And now for the next 40, their job is guaranteed. Like that 65 year old version of them is a totally different person than the 25-year-old. Why are you on the hook to give these people tenure unless they literally fuck children? They just get to keep their jobs
Starting point is 00:39:52 forever. Not figuratively fuck them. You can do that. Literally fuck them. You can figuratively fuck them by providing horrible education at public schools across the country because they're like, hey, should I make a new PowerPoint where Pluto isn't a planet? Fuck it.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Run the same one. It doesn't matter with these kids. They can learn nine planets. They'll figure it out. So there it is. I've done my best to present both sides. The voucher thing isn't completely crazy. Inject capitalism into the schools.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Maybe you'll get better schools. And then on the other hand, I don't know. I do worry about just completely blowing up what we've done for the last 200 years. As long as everybody's got more choices, I think it's good. We went to a hockey game. We watched the
Starting point is 00:40:37 Avalanche play the... Who did they play? Just based on this, Avalanche lost, right? No, they right no they destroyed oh did they i didn't yeah they've got the longest win streak of the year two games they won their second game in a row against the winnipeg jets that they played and it was a lot of fun we had good seats kyle you and you and chiz seemed to both enjoy the game for the most part. I enjoyed the free beer.
Starting point is 00:41:08 I know you probably didn't think that I was enjoying it because I only drank like three beers, and you must have drank like nine fucking beers. We were double. Yeah, so because of our seats, we got like these gold wristbands, and it was like all you can drink beer and all you can eat food. How did you get these seats? You just paid for them. Oh, so you just lived with the pig.
Starting point is 00:41:31 We go down to the Lexus room where there's a whole bar that's ours. You just order whatever alcohol you want. You can double fist beers, go back up to your seat, kill them, and then go back and get two more if you want that was that was taylor taylor was so happy about that i could tell that it was yeah that was nice my favorite part about that was watching taylor really enjoy himself because he was just like i got hockey uh the players are right fucking there and i got a beer in each hand he was in heaven yeah it was a lot of fun like i was hoping that it would get real rough between the jets and the abs because neither one is like we're going to the playoffs but then it's like
Starting point is 00:42:12 there were no big fights or anything but there were a couple enormous hits that we saw where there was like you your impression of seeing it live you had fun with the game itself? Yeah, my favorite part was making sure that, you know, my girlfriend didn't get hit in the head with a puck. I was like, keep your eye on the puck because it'll fuck you up. And Taylor's like, yeah, look at this. This is what happens when you get hit in the face with a puck. And it's like this player's pretty girlfriend with a big scar on the side of her face, all stitched up.
Starting point is 00:42:42 And I'm like, yeah, that'll be you. And she's like, baby, will you pay to fix my face if I get hit with a big scar on the side of her face, all stitched up, and I'm like, yeah, that'll be you. And she's like, baby, will you pay to fix my face if I get hit with a puck? And I went, mmm, yeah, but we're not gonna, we're not gonna, you know, 10 to 15,000. Tops, tops. So you better be on the lookout. And so the whole game, and they flicked,
Starting point is 00:43:00 at least three left the play area and didn't get caught by the net. Went into the fucking crowd. Quite a few happened like it was it was something that i thought was funny because i've never been to a group to a hockey game with a group of people who had never really been and so the whole lookout for the puck thing never had to be established but they put up on the thing like a warning where it's like warning the pepsi center is not responsible for anyone injured or whatever the fuck by flying pucks. So keep an eye out, you know, viewers or whatever. And then like five minutes later, one hits a lady in the second row.
Starting point is 00:43:31 And it's like, we're in the second row. This is no good. Yep. Well, we didn't get hit, so it panned out okay. I bet 15 years from now, they're going to be shocked at how barbaric it was, you know, back in the 2017s and pucks could get into the crowd. Yeah. I mean, it was only back in like 2004 when they didn't even have that net behind the glass. That was crazy.
Starting point is 00:43:55 And then that lady in Columbus had to go and die. Now, I look back on that and say that was insane. So, Kyle, you know how there's nets behind where they shoot, right? Oh, I know all about this. They could just sail them out full speed. Well, it was typically. So Kyle, you know how there's nets behind where they shoot, right? Oh, I know all about this. They could just sail them out full speed. Well, it was typically a deflection, right? They crush it and they don't miss the net by so much that it goes into the crowd.
Starting point is 00:44:12 But they really commonly, a player will touch it with their stick or a knee pad or who knows what. And it's still going like 60 miles an hour when it hits people. And if you've never touched a hockey puck, it's curiouslyly heavy and dense and they're frozen so they don't bounce much and uh yeah they're harder it's yeah it's it's really bad it's a it's harder you know it's it's it's uh my roommate had one and i remember picking it up the first time being like god damn okay i'm guessing it wasn't frozen you know no of course not no he just had it on shelf he got one from a game you freeze it it's God damn. I'm guessing it wasn't frozen. No, of course not.
Starting point is 00:44:47 He just had it on a shelf. He got one from a game. You freeze it, it's that much worse. That was a good one though. I was happy to see the Colorado win because you could really tell that win means a lot to those players. They won. They started skating around and celebrating
Starting point is 00:45:03 and holding their hands up in the air. They just won the division or something. And the crowd was like, fuck yeah, all right, that's what we're talking about right there at W, yeah. It was a big fucking deal. There's win number 14, yeah. It was a big deal in Colorado when they got that win. Yeah, I guess that was fun. I'm glad we did that. I thought it was a big deal in Colorado when they got that win. Yeah, I guess that was fun. I'm glad we did that.
Starting point is 00:45:26 I don't think it was a football game. Oh, that was less fun. Man, the Falcons come out, score like 28 unanswered points. The half ends like 28-3. They shut Brady down like four or five times. They're sacking him left and right. And I even said at one point, man, I hope they're not like blowing all
Starting point is 00:45:45 everything they've got in the second half like like they got to come back in i mean first half they got to come back in the second half with like just a little something to finish brady's like oh yeah yeah what do we need two touchdowns two two-point conversions and a field goal hold my beer yeah we can get it off he goes it was shocking it was shocking to watch it happen um uh you know step by step the exact things that were needed for them to win the ball game and uh and at one point i remember saying like even before it happened i was like you know it would be nice to see him win his fifth fucking super bowl it i mean you know and to like overcome the the year of the deflate gate where they take take four games away and he comes back and wins the goddamn Super Bowl.
Starting point is 00:46:27 I like that almost as much as I like having the Atlanta Falcons win one. So fuck it. I guess I'm almost as happy that the Patriots won. I like Bill Belichick. I like his don't give a shit attitude. Doing those press interviews that he's obligated to do, he's out there. They ask him this complex question where someone who likes speaking publicly could get colorful with it and offer different scenarios. Well, this could happen, that could happen.
Starting point is 00:46:58 But hey, we're really going to focus on this part of the game and let that be said. They could have fun with it and and and give you a quote but he's just like they're like phil um we noticed that julio jones is just incredibly fast how do you deal with that speed and your your you know your secondary of your defense you just got to play hard uh not just secondary either um we got to play hard as a ball team that's what we'll do on sunday and it's just total non-answers yeah total non-answer he's like he's like i'm giving you fucking nothing i hope you don't quote me the only thing i want you to write is patriots win suck a dick it was funny watching now if you excuse me i have some practices to to film you care so little that you couldn't even commit to
Starting point is 00:47:41 the bandwagon to where at the end of the second or middle of the second quarter when it was 21 to 3 you were just sitting there and you're like i remember you saying man falcons are gonna win the super bowl that's really neat and then you know they started scoring and you didn't even bitch about like that's ridiculous until the end you were just like man it's gonna be kind of cool to see him get his fifth super bowl like that's that's him like i was like god you can't even care enough to to finish it out like you're a bandwagon mid-game from team to team you know you have a patriots hat and then you got your falcons jersey yeah absolutely it really because i saw the falcons we're gonna win and i was like well what do i get when the falcons win anyway you
Starting point is 00:48:21 know it's like we're winning the super bowl but I do like seeing dynasties be formed. I like seeing history be made. And I don't think it's an argument anymore. I don't know much about football, but Tom Brady's got to be the greatest quarterback of all time now. You've got to just say it. And I would lean on the experts of football, and I would guarantee that a lot of them are saying the same thing.
Starting point is 00:48:46 They were saying it before the game. They're saying it now after the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history, first overtime win in Super Bowl history, fifth champ to win his fifth ring. As an older guy, he's the greatest quarterback ever. I guess it depends on how you measure him right he's obviously the most successful quarterback ever right but then you get guys like dan marino that that some would argue were better quarterbacks they just didn't have the same teams around them
Starting point is 00:49:14 five times i hear you yeah yeah and that that goes back to how you measure it right like did zero times for marino but i think he has the most passing yards in the season ever. You know, he has unless Peyton Manning broke that. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know who's the best. I don't really follow football that closely, but you could certainly make an argument for it. It used to be
Starting point is 00:49:38 when Tom Brady had, like, two or three rings, people were still like, he's not even good. He sucks. Yeah, he sucks. He's just lucky he's on that team. Now he's got a whole hand sucks yeah he sucks he's just lucky he's on now he's got a whole hand right now he's trying to figure out how to do his thumb ring you know i hope he said that he was like make that one extra big that's my thumb ring like and by the but he and he's planning ahead you know he is he's like you know if i got this whole hand they have to make me like a helmet or something like a crown a crown to wear for my twin for my 11th super bowl win or a big
Starting point is 00:50:10 indent guys at that age are like should i retire should i get it like he had this he had a better year than he did last year like he numerically i forget the stats of it but in like five different important categories he's a better athlete now than he used to be. He's not looking for the door. You know, he's like, yeah. You think it's the four weeks? He got a little bit of a rest at the beginning of the season, right? You didn't have to play his first four games.
Starting point is 00:50:35 He got a serious preseason. I hadn't wondered that. You know, like if you could offer him next year, like, hey, I'll tell you what. You get the first four weeks off and your team will be 3-1. You take that deal? Yeah. I think he might be like, yeah, we'll kick it off with a three and one it depends on your plan you know if that one loss is not in the division then yeah they take it yeah i hear you i don't know i just three and one's a pretty good start usually you win 75 percent although they usually start out 12 and 0 or something like that because it's fucking incredible i don't know it was uh it
Starting point is 00:51:03 was it was fun to watch i didn't see a single Super Bowl commercial that I thought was noteworthy. Very pitiful year for the Super Bowl. Glad Lady Gaga didn't get political at all. I see that the hyper-leftists are calling her out. They're calling her Becky or something, which I guess is something those cunts call women they don't like
Starting point is 00:51:19 for not speaking out. Becky? Let's just move past it. And I guess I didn't catch it, but I guess she was floated down from the top of the building down to the stage. I didn't catch the halftime show. We were outside tending to a fire or something like that.
Starting point is 00:51:38 But I don't know. The game was good. It was very impressive. It's a shame the Falcons didn't win, but it's incredibly impressive, and it's cool to have watched Tom Brady. Did you just figure out tending to a fire? No, I was saying, Kyle was saying it's a shame they lost,
Starting point is 00:51:54 but also not a shame that Tom Brady was able to win and get five. It's almost annoying how little you care. If the Cardinals are in the World Series, even though I don't care about baseball at if the Cardinals are in the World Series, like even if they don't care about baseball at all, if they lose in the World Series, it's still like they did to Boston a few years back. They didn't win, so they didn't deserve it. The way I look at it is like I'm glad they didn't win almost because if they didn't have enough talent, heart, drive, expertise, coaching,
Starting point is 00:52:23 whatever it took to close out a 28-3 lead, then they didn't deserve a fucking Super Bowl win. Tom Brady deserved that ring because when he went into that locker room down 28-3 against an explosive offense and after he'd been hit like six or eight times or something and sacked like four or five times by an amazingly fast defense it looked like they weren't slowing down even at the close of the half he still went in there and came out with the mindset of let's go to work time to win this is what i do it's he's just the math is easy here it is this is how we win now we execute and he fucking did it meanwhile
Starting point is 00:53:01 the falcons were like well let's just, oh, God, let's not lose. Let's not lose instead of let's get 14 more on the board. Let's get 21 more on the board. Yeah, let's pull a trick play here. Yeah, they were playing not to lose in that second half. And they didn't have the speed, and they didn't have the passion and fire that they had in the first. If football were played, you know, instead of four quarters, if it was two quarters, the Falcons played their asses off for two quarters
Starting point is 00:53:29 better than any team in the league could have this year, I would say. It was amazing to watch. It was fun to watch. But second half Falcons were a fucking dogshit team, and they got stomped on by professionals. Yeah. So he deserved it. You can't argue that the Falcons deserved it it's
Starting point is 00:53:47 not like one of those situations from a few I don't even remember the teams but I remember a few Super Bowls back maybe five six seven it was like a yard or two yards that that that stopped a a game-winning drive at the end of the game and it was like really a downer even to the Titans that one or the Seahawks one okay I don't I don't remember at all but it wasn. The Ravens and the Titans, that one? Perhaps. I don't remember at all. It wasn't like that. They just got outplayed. Titans lost by seven against the Ravens, right? Am I crazy?
Starting point is 00:54:14 I don't know. When? Ten years ago, something like that. I don't know. I know the Titans lost on the one-yard line against the Rams in 2000. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah. Sure. I remember it being like a yard or something on the one-yard line against the Rams in 2000. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, sure. I remember it being like a yard or something on the goal line. But yeah, the Falcons didn't deserve it, so I don't care that they didn't get it.
Starting point is 00:54:34 That's the way I look at it. Because they had it. It was in the palm of their hand. All they had to do was execute. They weren't being asked to go above and beyond. That's what was being asked of the Patriots. The Falcons' job was play good, smart football. The Patriots' job was do something no one has ever done before, ever,
Starting point is 00:54:50 under the greatest microscope and pressure, and don't make a single misstep. And then they just did it. So Patriots deserved it. Patriots won it. And Tom Brady's like a football god now, and he'll be remembered forever. Like maybe we can argue because we don't know much about football, for one thing. But I bet 25 years from now, people are like, yeah, that Tom Brady guy.
Starting point is 00:55:09 What the fuck? Eight fucking Super Bowl championships, 18 Pro Bowl appearances. Because he's not... You think he's got three more Super Bowls in him? If he wins them concurrently. How old is he?
Starting point is 00:55:26 39. Kyle, do you know? I don't know. I know his wife's hot. They zoomed in on her a lot. She was losing her shit when they won. It was fun to see how happy she was. She was so happy and celebrating and filming herself do this
Starting point is 00:55:42 and be happy. She drops her caseless iphone and you know it hit concrete those bleachers yeah i was i was like i was like dude yeah yeah well you can get another phone it's not perfect yeah but it's a million dollar super bowl bonus that your husband got or whatever assistant got her phone squared away for her and she'll be all right i said that early in the game because the falcons coach was like so happy you could tell and i was like can you imagine what his bonus is for winning a superbowl on his contract like bill belichick probably like bill belichick's contract is probably like a subway
Starting point is 00:56:14 thing where he just he punches out superbowl wins and when he gets one more he gets one more he gets a piece of the stadium or something like that but you own section 102 yeah yeah like he's a part owner at that point for one more super bowl but with the falcons that guy god knows what it was but it easily could have been another hundred grand 200 grand quarter million half a million million you know you know it could be it was probably a beautiful little sign that it was in the millions for for getting a super bowl and and he watched that evaporate it's it's i don't know how that happened. We watched it happen in front of us, and it happened so slowly and so meticulously.
Starting point is 00:56:51 It wasn't like, oh, the Falcons just aren't performing. It's error, error, error, error. It was just that, it was exactly what I kept saying, that like, at some point, Tom Brady is just going to start acting like a machine, because that's what he is, and it is just going to start acting like a machine because that's what he is and it's just going to be 10 yards 12 yards 15 yards 4 yards run run 10 yards Touchdown rinse and repeat and he's just going to keep fucking doing that to them and he did it was it was impressive Hmm. Yeah, no one talks about his first half though. They talk Brady's the man Quarterback rating was he didn was like 65 in the first half.
Starting point is 00:57:27 Because of the defense. Because the defense didn't save anything. Because the Falcons defense didn't save anything for the swim back. That's what happened. That's exactly what happened there. They were whipping his ass the whole time.
Starting point is 00:57:41 The corners were playing great. The deep coverage seemed to be good. They took him off his feet. He couldn't do anything. It seemed like they were burnt out and conservative in the second half and not blitzing as much. What do I know? They lost because they deserved to lose.
Starting point is 00:57:59 Alright then. We're at 58 minutes. It was a good Super Bowl as far as it went. I watched part of last year's Super Bowl and maybe it was only the first quarter and a half that I watched before I was like this is stupid this sucks
Starting point is 00:58:12 it's disappointing when the Super Bowl sucks even though I don't care that much about football because it's supposed to be the one thing every year that's awesome with sports there's no series which is that's the coolest thing about football playoffs it's like every game is like oh you really fucked up this isn't hockey or basketball or baseball where you can be like all right we'll
Starting point is 00:58:33 get it next game it's like no that mistake you just cost a touchdown yeah you might be the guy that all of i don't know baltimore hates until next season like The stakes are so high. I get stressed out watching the quarterbacks sometimes. It kind of feels, in college football, every game is like that. The what? Who, Kyle? Either one. In college football, every game is like that.
Starting point is 00:58:59 They have to go 13-0, 13-1 at the worst, just to make the playoffs in college football. You lose a game, the whole season could be blown because it's so hard to get into those championship games. In pro football, at least you can lose four games and you're still in the playoffs and you're still doing okay. Five, you can get the wild card. You can lose a lot of games. You're right. It's very forgiving.
Starting point is 00:59:24 It's more about postseason. You lose one game one game in college well they got the playoff system now so it's less forgiving right and more and the games are weighted because of the bcs system that you know if you're a powerhouse and you've crushed alabama and and texas but you lost to i mean this year clemson was the the champion but oftentimes they're kind of a piddling lower level team you know you lose to a shitty team, then they're like, oh, they just had a bad off week, and they weigh it that way rather than being like, loss is a loss is a loss.
Starting point is 00:59:52 So that's kind of nice. Yeah. They've got some computer algorithm that does all that bullshit. Yeah, I wouldn't be kidding. Yeah, you're playing against some tough competition. Although last year, maybe not so much. Yeah, last year, SEC East was rough. Georgia was the best team
Starting point is 01:00:08 or one of the best teams there and they were not even good. Mizzou quit halfway through the season, I think. Did they? No, they just were terrible. Did that not happen the year before? Because of the whole racist thing?
Starting point is 01:00:24 No, they were better last year than they were this year. Remember there was some thought of the whole racist thing what am i making no they were better last year than they were this year remember there was like some thought of the mizzou team walking out because oh that wasn't like a school thing or they're so bad at football it was like uh hey you guys we're not gonna play because of the black lives matter or whatever and then they were like all right well you you know that like you're not here on a chemistry scholarship right like so you're gonna have to go out there and play if you want to keep living here. And they're like, alright, but just rest assured I'm very upset by the happenings
Starting point is 01:00:49 and I will be at practice on Monday. Oh, and I don't want to talk about it and spoil it for this show, but maybe for PK we could do some movie talk. We watched a movie called Split. It's M. Night Shyamalan's new movie. Please tell me it's good.
Starting point is 01:01:08 Let's save that for PK. So Taylor did not like it. I liked it and Chiz liked it. It's in theaters now. It's in theaters now. I'll say this about it without spoiling anything.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Multiple personalities is a main aspect of it. One of the characters has, and the character who has that does an incredible acting job. It's James McAvoy, I think his name is. He's the one who plays the young Professor Xavier, Professor X, in the new X-Men movies. So he's
Starting point is 01:01:40 switching personalities on the fly at least a dozen times. He has a great performance. It's incredible, his physical transformation. I don't know if they're using CGI. I know they're using CGI at some points, but I don't know if he actually filmed
Starting point is 01:01:55 certain parts of it when he was leaner, and then he bulked up for certain parts. Maybe not, but I thought this was really good by Shyamalan. It's as good as something like Unbreakable that he's done before. It's not The Sixth Sense. It's not as good as Signs because you just didn't have a strong guy like Mel Gibson in there. It is scary and pretty fucking dark, too.
Starting point is 01:02:18 I liked it. I want to say he's done another good movie recently. He's kind of on a comeback. Was it The Gift, I think? Shit. done another good movie recently and he's kind of on a comeback gift was it the gift i think uh shit didn't he do the one with john goodman where they were like underground no he did not that's um that's 11 cloverfield lane or 10 or whatever uh-huh um i don't think he did that i don't think it was a shamalon thing unless maybe he produced it or in some way but he didn't direct it so but that was thinking of the visit the visit is the one you're thinking of yes what's that that is a shamalon movie i don't know if i saw it i think i might be giving
Starting point is 01:02:57 him credit for a movie that i liked that he didn't have anything to do with um well the visit has good ratings and it doesn't have anything wacky or kooky in it. It's just a good movie that he made. Okay. But yeah, Split. Really enjoyed it. Thought it was strong. And I thought that...
Starting point is 01:03:20 I don't think it had a twist ending. I wouldn't say that it did, but it has a great ending that leaves you like wow wow this is all really cool nice um at least that's that's what i took away from it because of having watched his other movies and maybe liking him i don't know just like to do taylor didn't like it so much yeah it was all right just not i don't know i had higher hopes we can talk about that on pka though because there's a good amount to talk about i think yeah i think so i want to see call it a wrap yes i believe so i am uh i'm really hungry we can do something about that about what new my hunger ah easily cured yeah more grubhub we've introduced taylor to grubhub which is've introduced Taylor to Grubhub, which is basically the Grubhub man goes out to a restaurant and brings your food to you for like $3. And that and another service basically opens it up so that you never have to leave your home.
Starting point is 01:04:18 They'll bring you McDonald's, Taco Bell, Qdoba. They'll text you. They're like, hey, bro, I'm outside of Arby's waiting on your order. It's a madhouse in here. Stay tight. Then they get your sandwich, and they text you again. Sandwich is on the way. They don't want to tip or anything oftentimes because you can tip them online.
Starting point is 01:04:36 The Instacart thing, which is for real hermits so you don't have to go to the grocery store, the first order is free. You go to Instacart.com. You can fill up your shopping cart like a like a like a like a family of six two weeks worth of groceries first one's free and and they'll just do whatever you want just just all this stuff that they're delivering from food just the delivery you pay for the food the delivery i was like how can that be a profitable model oh yeah you pay for food.
Starting point is 01:05:05 But man, I like all the services. It makes the vacation really fun. Very cool. Alright. That's really neat. PKN, episode 130.

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