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UFC command in the sport world.
So PKN episode 152, we were just talking about McGregor and yeah, so...
On the show?
I was saying how like every, it's insane how no matter what news stories are out there,
no matter like if there's an attack somewhere or whatever, if Mayweather and McGregor come
up, it is immediately like, like the top story on Twitter, Facebook, everywhere.
And I was saying I don't follow boxing or UFC nearly as much as these two,
but it is pretty ridiculous that even compared to basketball, NFL,
aside from Super Bowl, it just skyrockets in popularity.
Every single story.
I think Conor's bigger than Mayweather.
I think his sports name right now at this moment.
I mean, you could talk about legendary careers or whatever,
like historical placement at this current moment.
But as far as names in sports,
names to hit the media and get the most attention out of the average person,
Connor owns an entire country.
You know why I think Kyle's right?
Because Mayweather was bigger when he fought like the mayweather pacquiao fight
pacquiao fight i feel like and that was delayed by many years true but there were two people on
that card who were big and it was and like kyle said the build-up was for years and years conor
mcgregor could fight me and it would be a big story he doesn't need anyone on the B side to make it big. He changes bum lives, right?
You know, when he fought Alvarez, I guess Alvarez was the champ.
But, you know, he didn't bring the audience.
I've only heard of Alvarez because he got matched up with Conor McGregor.
I only know who most of these people are because it'll be Conor McGregor.
Is he going to fight X?
Is he going to fight Y?
It's like I have no idea who X and Y are. No, I think that's true in the world of UFC
because UFC is its own niche thing.
But Mayweather's a big name.
I think whether it's A or B side, I don't know.
I think Conor's probably more A as far as media attention,
but Floyd may be more A as far as pay-per-view buys
for this particular fight
because his people think he's going to beat this guy to death.
It could go either way. But as
far as media attention, recognition,
Conor McGregor's huge right now. He transcends
all sports.
And I think it's going to be a really fun fight to watch.
I'm looking forward to it. So when are they doing the first
press conference? That's this week in LA.
That's the first one. Today? Tomorrow?
Yeah.
Right now it says,
Conor McGregor brutally trolls Floyd Mayweather at presser
before promising an early KO.
That's awesome.
That's so good.
I don't want to spoil that.
Don't spoil it anymore because I'm going to go watch that
as soon as we're done with the show here.
Okay.
But one thing that I know that leading up to this,
there was talk because Floyd usually shows up literally,
not joking, an hour and a half late to his press conferences, right?
Like he makes this dramatic entrance at the end.
And Conor's been known to do the same shit.
There's been a fight before where his opponent's like, I'm just going to leave.
Whenever my opponent shows up, y'all can talk to him.
And then Conor strolls in and makes the guy sit down and stuff.
So I really want to see this press conference and see how that went.
Did you see that Floyd is in tax trouble? Not really trouble, but he's appealing to the IRS for an extension on his 2015 taxes, I think, until he gets this upcoming payday.
That ties into something I've been saying, that Floyd's not as rich as he says he is.
He spends $8 million a day, apparently.
That can't be true.
That can't be true.
I know that so much.
That's what he has to do to meet his money now.
I kept repeating this thing.
Like when you schedule a second private plane to carry your luggage, you run out of money, right?
Will Smith was huge and ran out of money before Prince of Bel-Air.
He spent all that parents don't understand rat money.
It was gone.
He took his –
I didn't know that.
It's true.
Keep in mind he's in trouble with the IRS though, right?
So he made like 200 – whatever he made in 2015, like $200 million, right?
That's the year he fought Pacquiao.
He probably owes $95 million in taxes or something like that off that, something awful.
And I bet he spent all $200 million on minks and different Rolls Royces and tiger food or something.
I have no facts.
I just made it up in my head he didn't pay all his taxes.
I don't think he failed to file.
I didn't hear that he did.
No, he's filing for an extension on the payment for his 2015 taxes
that the exact verbiage is that he's got a big payday coming up.
Revenue event or something.
Yeah, revenue event.
No one said he didn't pay 2015 taxes.
They're saying he got audited for 2015, as if he
underpaid his taxes. So he maybe tried
to get a little cute in 2015.
It sounded to me like he was making payments
on 2015 taxes.
It seems like people with that much money who have that
kind of income,
they're not sitting there with TurboTax, like,
oh, well, he can't read. But if he
could, he wouldn't be sitting there with TurboTax going
like, oh, I can write this off. I can write that off like i imagine those people go into one
of the big four accounting firms and then one of those accounting firms it seems like like they
have a vested interest in like not fucking up you know like they don't want anybody coming and
ruining their what is like price waterhouse or whatever the names of all of them are like that
that's kind of true right what do you like it seems like these people who are that rich like they're handing everything off to someone else which is what i never understood
about the tax like fraud at that level is like like how how do you think you're going to get
away with it well they they're what it is is oftentimes the law is not defined enough you
know like oh you have to pay taxes on u.S. income. Aha! Well, this tax came over the Internet.
So, you know, we didn't fight here.
We didn't do this.
Like, you know, they make it out to be not U.S. income.
Like, that's a thing that happens a lot.
This was actually Cayman Islands income.
Because he's probably not fighting every fight in the USA.
And so he's...
I don't know exactly.
But what I'm saying is they often find a way to restructure it
or try to get a little cute to make it so that it's, you know, like he's the guy.
He cut all the middlemen out.
That's the interesting thing about Floyd Mayweather is he didn't want to be another Mike Tyson
who got robbed, blind, and then, of course, wasted the rest on tigers and planes.
But he might.
But we'll see.
I think he's prepared himself better than Mike Tyson ever did.
He's certainly in a much better position than that.
He's not. I don't see tigers, I see cars
And like our last guest suggested
Most cars could be loners and stuff
Yeah, and the minks could be loners
On Connor's side and stuff
You don't know, but I think Mayweather's spending a lot of money
Are you guys both
Still on the
Like I'm wondering if your opinions changed
Because I remember from earlier
I think, earlier, I think
Woody, you were saying that
McGregor had a good chance overall.
Did I say that? Okay.
That's what I'm trying to clarify, because I don't remember if I'm just
imposing that or what I thought. It just depends on
a good chance of what though, right?
Of winning. I'm talking about of winning.
Every expert says McGregor has no chance.
He's a huge underdog.
The thing is, there's not a lot of money to be made betting against Conor McGregor. no chance. He's a huge underdog. The thing is there's not a lot of money to be
made betting against Conor McGregor.
The guy wins all the
time, with the exception of the first DS fight.
He always wins. He wins.
Wins. And every time he
goes, you're like, well, Jose Aldo's been champ for 10 years.
This guy's lethal. This guy kicks.
He always wins at UFC
fights. It's not like you're
following Conor McGregor around. He's like, perfect. Like everywhere he goes, he's just sinking basketball shots. He's just rolling dice, flipping water bottles.
He's fucking like, just everyone's turning around like he's in an open sex store.
He gets like a perfect skee-ball store.
Pending tickets to kids.
He's real good at beating people up within his particular discipline of expertise.
You'll do nothing. That's four 100s in a row.
You couldn't catch it.
You got three balls left, Mayweather.
You can't come back.
I bet he's like, people like that have to be so frustrating to play little piddling games with
because their mind is just so competitive.
I win.
I win.
Just playing someone like that in Magic the Gathering.
When I was teaching Kyle to play magic when Kyle
Would beat me like we were in Colorado. He knew that it wasn't because he you know rused me into like a huge thing
It was cuz like you know I'm teaching him how to play if you were Conor McGregor
You'd have been like oh, this fellow's teaching me the game already beat him anybody else here trying to teach me
I'm already past this level. Now I'm not playing
you again. I'm one and all.
Give me your belt.
Give me your belt. I don't care if it's from Kors. Give it to me.
That's funny. He doesn't buckle it.
He ties it.
I really hope...
I hope Connor wins.
If Mayweather wins, are all the experts predicting,
oh, it's going to be a round nine attrition victory,
or are people saying there's going to be a knockout via Mayweather?
They think that Mayweather will do anything he chooses to do,
and that somewhere in the third to fifth round, he knocked Conor out,
and that's all he has left.
I want Conor's strategy this whole time to be to get punched in the
top of the head and break Mayweather's hands
by like round five
I saw that in a movie
maybe Conor saw that same
movie
because that seems like his best course
of action if he could make that happen by some
some fluke
so there's a lot of things against Floyd right
I think that's where you gotta start is like let's start counting things that gets
Floyd before we start actually owning up to the fact that it seems like boxing is
some sort it is like mathematics or something and and that every additional
hour to that 10,000 hours you actually do get better and Mayweather seems like
he's this special kind of human being that's really mastered that thing so it
doesn't seem like Connor who's an amateur in comparison, can step in there and beat him.
But Floyd's much older.
Floyd hasn't finished anyone in years.
He hasn't had a professional fight in years.
He hasn't looked great in his last fight.
He's not dominating or anything.
It's not like he destroyed Pacquiao.
He has those brittle hands.
And I didn't know about that until fairly recently.
I guess it's probably not something he wants talked about a lot, but his hands break a lot
And what else right see shorter? He's a smaller man time between reach like that's a big thing in boxing
I think Connor has the reach for sure Connor's five foot nine
And but but he has much longer arms than a five foot nine
Yeah, the arms of a 6' guy.
He goes up two weight classes and says,
my arms are as long as that guy.
Yeah, I think me and Connor have about the same wingspan.
Connor's wingspan is 74 inches.
Mayweather's reach is 72 inches.
Also, height matters.
If your wingspan is the same, yet i'm punching down and you're
punching up i have the reach advantage so not only it says that mcgregor it says mcgregor's
only an inch taller is that one of those athlete athlete things where mayweather's like oh yeah
i'm five eight and it's like ah you're five six buddy howard stern used to do this thing
so howard stern i think is six five", but he's a true 6'5".
He'd have these 6'8 basketball players
on, and he's like, 6'8?
Why are we the same height?
They're like, what? No, man.
Their contracts ride on
this. A lot
matters on this fake height. They're very invested.
I got a sign-in bonus for that extra inch, you
bastard.
Shut the fuck up, Howard. Why are there cameras in here anyway?
It's the radio.
Where's Bobbin?
Howard Stern has a real Slenderman build about him.
He's eerily lanky.
So if you don't know, if he gets any kind of flab on him at all,
it looks really bad because of that lanky frame.
He needs to be rocking almost a six-pack to even look
okay with with that look he and he has one a lot of the time he's very slender he's on a ridiculous
diet where he's like yeah i had some uh a little brown rice and then there was some some steamed
fish and then i went to bed six packs on skinny guys are like six packs on skinny guys are like
big tits on fat girls it doesn doesn't count. It does count.
It does.
It does not count.
I disagree.
I've heard that line many times, but I feel like a guy with a six-pack,
now I'll admit, obviously a strong guy with a six-pack is in a whole other league,
but if you have a six-pack, you need to be pretty skinny to not have a decent body.
That geek, you know, in every movie who in every movie who hooks up with the cool girl
and they turn him into a cool guy,
all he was was a skinny guy with a six-pack.
Suddenly you put him in a button-down shirt
and fix his hair, and he's hot.
You don't have to be too far away.
If you've got a six-pack, you're doing okay.
When I see a guy at a pool
who has no arm or shoulder or back definition,
but they have that, like, I haven't eaten since Thursday belly,
like, two more days of light eating,
and they'll be going from six-pack to emaciated Kenya belly.
Do you remember when Connor was calling Nate Diaz skinny fat?
Yeah.
He does look a little skinny fat, but not the kind of skinny fat I would want to fuck with.
I'm going to tear your skinny fat body apart all long and lanky and disgusting.
He's saying this like CNN.
He's talking about this guy's skinny fat body, and Nate Diaz is there with a speech impediment.
He's like, if you fight, you fight.
If you fight, you fight.
Connor, at 170, said he didn't like it.
He didn't have abs.
If I could look like Connor at 170, I would do this show shirtless.
You'd never see a shirt on me again.
He looks ferocious at 145.
He looks ferocious.
Emaciated a little, but in a scary way.
His eyes are all sunken in.
He's just like, ah.
God, he's damn scary.
He's got like a train spotting look.
Very, very emaciated. just like, ah, and you're like, God, he's damn. He looks scary. He's got like a train spotting look. Like, you don't know what's going on.
I'm on the same page as Taylor with the, like,
the way he described it, hasn't eaten since Thursday, too thin.
Yeah, yeah, that guy does not have a good body.
But, you know, I feel like there are a lot of things.
I mean, if your biceps are bigger than your wrists and you have abs,
you probably have a decent body.
You know, you got to be pretty thin to not have that.
Yeah, if you're pretty thin,
it's probably.
So 202 was my Thursday weight,
and I'm not sure.
I'm still 202.
I'm not sure I'm going to be 201 for Thursday.
I'm hoping on PKA I can say I lost another pound.
I've lost a pound or two almost every week,
and this week, I don't know.
It's Tuesday.
I weigh the same thing as Thursday.
I ate a whole pecan pie this week i don't know it's tuesday way the same thing as thursday i ate i ate a whole pecan pie this week and and it was everything that i thought it would be and more um every slice i
would microwave for about 15 seconds and then put a little dollop of vanilla ice cream on there
um so i gained one pound i'm at 171.6 pounds right now. That is so light.
I loved that pecan pie so much.
It's delicious.
I got it off Amazon.
It's pecan pie in a jar. If you like pecan pie, I strongly recommend it.
I was just surprised that you live in pecan country in Georgia there,
and you went the Amazon route.
Because I think they're like georgia
pecans you know stuffed in a jar from washington all the sugary goo and stuff like it's the whole
pecan pie in a jar and you just dump it in the pie crust and then well i think you add eggs yeah i
added eggs and and you bake it and that's pretty low effort yeah yeah exactly yeah exactly precisely
i was gonna order on Amazon for Prime Day
a candle making kit
because I think that kind of stuff is fun.
Kind of just
make some candles
and then as I was going to click
and buy it, I'm like, what's wrong with you?
Are you going to start an Etsy store?
What are you?
Are you some fucking maniac?
You're going to come up with excuses as
people come over what do you have 60 candles going oh i'm uh wiccan now hey that could be
the answer for the pig hunt right like like hear me out here we go and we we shoot some pigs we
render the fat into tallow we make our own wild boar soap and there's like a silhouette of a wild boar tusks on the on every bar right
done what do we call it wild boar soap i don't know i mean i mean i mean this is
oh we can try and sell it to whole foods clean or somewhere like that mud it'll be all natural
100 organic like the bear boar like b-a-r-e because bear is a great word for people like
in the whole foods market because like oh bear, oh, bear. That means there's
no preservatives in it, right?
I don't know. It's $9. There's a bullet in mine.
There's a bullet in it.
No, that's an exfoliating
bead, you dumb boar.
Yeah, the copper
it wards off cancer.
Yeah, you want that in there.
It's so much pork fat, it just puts your body instantly
into a state of ketosis.
I've been pretty good on diet.
I've been very good on kettlebells,
and I've been really active, but
yeah, just haven't lost a pound this week.
I don't know.
I'm down one. I'm at 204 now,
and I'm bummed out
that I can't work out this week again
because it's scarring up right now.
Right, right.
So, like, all the pieces are growing back together mostly.
You rub some vitamin E on there.
I'm rubbing a – I have some, like, Nivea lotion that you're supposed to, like, rub into it once it's 100% sealed up to get rid of scars.
But I'm not really worried about that as much.
I just don't want it to be one of those scar tissues that, like, pops all the time.
And you're just always dealing with that.
But it's bumming me so much more than I thought.
What did you say?
Mederma?
M-E-D-E-R-M-A for scars.
I've heard of that.
I'm going to get some when it heals up.
Yeah, it works really well.
I'm so much more bummed out about not being able to work out than I thought I would be.
Like, I always, when people were like, oh, yeah, I, you know, when we were doing hockey workouts or something,
someone was like, yeah, I kind of tweaked my ankle.
Like, I can't work out this week.
It was always like, oh, lucky.
Like, you don't have to go to training and do all this.
Like, now it's like, oh, god damn it.
Like, I was on such a good click, a good pace with this. And now I missed two weeks, and I'm not taking up my week calendar anymore because I'm not giving myself credit for not doing it.
I was –
Yeah, I'm excited.
When I was sick, it was like two weeks ago.
I was sick.
I missed two workouts, I think.
But two workouts was a week because I do Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
I went from Monday to Monday.
I'm like, are you really sick?
Are you faking sick? How sick are you?
Can you do your kettlebell? Could you have done maybe
half a workout? Could you have done that?
It took me a while to
forgive myself. You're probably right.
I don't know.
They say that stuff and I don't know.
They talk about when your body's healing and stuff.
Maybe it's not good for it.
It sounds like you're super
motivated though. If you've got that where you feel that
guilty if you don't get your workout in,
you're in the zone then.
I didn't admit it
broadly, but when I first started
out, five push-ups was a thing for me.
If I did 10, they weren't good form.
Now I knock out
25 in good form. It might be time to add more.
You get fast
so quickly. Did you try a pull-up from the start and now try again
i did because that's a big difference because like you're gaining strength as you're losing
weight and so it's like you're doubling up on your strength difference even like four weeks
later you're like holy shit i can do five more now i was gonna say just the 18 pounds different
would help a lot like
if i put in you know 18 pounds worth of chain around your waist you would totally feel that
like that oh yeah significant like a wife but anyway yeah so i haven't lost a pound this week
i hope that sometime between now and tuesday i weigh in a pound lighter and um and keep the
streak alive but we'll see i tried doing like a couple kettlebell swings
and work mover move around workouts on friday just to be like oh it's probably not i guess it
was saturday like it wasn't like oh let's just see if this wasn't too bad and like one of the
movements like i could i could tell that something was happening on my finger and i'm like oh no i'm
gonna rip the fucking pad of my thumb off no i'm not doing this but jesus oh that sucks hey i used to get excited about trump news
as like as this would be the seminal turning moment i've given i've let go of that but it
does look pretty interesting from a story standpoint if i had my facts right and i might
not because i've been watching mostly liberal news sources today the the juicy ones um yeah it appears that trump jr got an email from a russian
they had involvement with both the russian government and um trump's business affairs
right like apparently she's related to this billionaire this billion is a pop star trump was even in this pop star's music video and and so trump may have known him through business affairs, right? Like apparently she's related to this billionaire. This billionaire is a pop star.
Trump was even in this pop star's music video.
And so Trump may have known him through business affairs, but they also worked together with the Russian government.
Anyway, the email essentially paraphrased said,
hey, we've got this awesome dirt on Hillary Clinton.
Why don't you come see?
So Trump Jr., Manafort, what's the K guy's name?
Kushner?
Jared Kushner.
Jared Kushner, that's who I'm going for.
And another person whom I've forgotten met with this Russian person to get dirt on Hillary Clinton.
And then apparently, I don't know what was said in the meeting, but they're saying that they didn't get any good dirt so there's no story here which uh um but like now the question has been answered
like did the trump campaign meet with russian people to get dirt against hillary clinton yes
they did like they when they heard that the russians had information on Hillary, they said, let's meet. So, that's what's new.
What I'm not liking from people right now
is the whole pivot to like,
oh, but it's not illegal.
But it's not illegal.
It's like, yeah, but
imagine the fury if right now,
if Hillary Clinton got voted in
and it turned out you didn't just elect Hillary,
you elected the whole Clinton clan.
And fucking Chelsea was out there doing what Donald Trump Jr. is doing and Bill's out there doing his stuff.
It's like, no, you didn't.
And people would have a right to be angry with that.
So I totally see how people are upset with the whole Trump clan being involved in this.
Because it's like, no, nobody voted for Donald Trump Jr.
Nobody voted for Eric Trump.
I really don't hear about that guy, to be fair. I don't know what the fuck he's doing. nobody voted for donald trump jr nobody voted for eric trump i really don't hear about that guy to be fair i don't know what the fuck he's doing nobody voted for ivanka you
did know ivanka was gonna be like have having a role in the presidency though right like like
kyle on that one because i like when taylor started i was like only if that wasn't the
expectation from the start like when clinton ran hillary had a decent role in his administration
but when clinton ran i know in 92 you guys weren't that old,
he was like, hey, she is a strong woman.
You get two presidents for the price of one.
He said that in his stump speeches.
Yeah, that was understood.
Yeah, so it's understood.
I feel like Trump does nothing but tout Ivanka's credentials
and talk about how wonderful she is.
Everything that comes out of his mouth is positive about how good Ivanka is.
And this whole time, I mean, he had her as a surrogate.
He's had her, you know, she's been doing radio interviews.
She's been there the whole way.
I knew going in that Ivanka was going to be part of the presidency in some way.
I didn't know that, like, the whole Klan was.
And, you know, I didn't know about all this.
It just seems like we're meeting a lot with the Russians.
I do get your point with Ivanka makes sense, though, because, yeah, that Hillary Clinton comparison is apt.
Because I guess of the three of those kids, it was clear she was going to be the one taking a role, if any of them.
At least that was my impression.
I did not foresee the two Trump boys, or I guess the one Trump boy, being a big part of this whole thing.
And Ivanka's husband.
Ivanka's husband.
That's even more nepotistic.
I feel like, and maybe I'm just thinking to
the days post his win,
and I'm thinking about that time,
but Kushner's definitely been
up front a lot for a long time.
He's put him in charge of Middle East peace.
That one blew me away.
But the guy's Jewish, though, isn't he?
He is.
I'm with you, too, but I do—
That's why I don't like anti-Semitism.
I think it was post-win.
I feel like prior to the winning, Kushner was not up front at all.
There aren't a lot of people who paid more attention to the election than me.
I was really into it, addicted nearly.
And Kushner really started
to meet. I think he replaced
Chris Christie in the transition
to lead the transition team. Does that sound right?
It doesn't really.
Did you see Chris Christie today on the radio?
Not today. I saw all those
photoshops of him in this seat, and that's
hilarious. It's good that you've seen those,
because this bears upon that. Chris is doing
this morning sports radio talk show um the radio show and a caller calls in one of his
constituents he says what area he's from so christy knows like what area of his constituency this guy
hails from and he goes governor i just wanted to tell you that the next time you want to take your
fat ass to a to the beach maybe you don't do it on one
that's been closed to the rest of the damn public.
And Chris calls him a communist and a bum and goes on this whole rant against it.
He's like, yeah, you can tell that he's from wherever the guy's from.
Like Bloomingdale because he's a communist.
Yeah, you bum.
You bum.
And he's coming on the radio cursing.
He's like, cursing?
What did I say?
He said, badass.
You know, it was pretty funny.
He is one of the most tragic, in a very funny way, stories of the whole election, if you think about it.
Because the first guy who was like, I'm going to put my neck out there as an established politician for Donald Trump.
Chris Christie, that big fat fuck.
Hey, Chris Christie, I need you to stand behind
me and just be fat behind me for a while.
He doesn't. Make me look thin.
Yeah, make me look... It's not easy,
but you're the man.
That's what he had him do. And then it
seemed like overnight,
just on a lark, like one day
Trump was like, no.
Not this fat
idiot. I got my attractive daughter.
I got my normal looking.
When he fired Chris Christie and sent him a packing, there was this hint of like, wow, Donald Trump meant what he said.
He's not going to put up with any of this bullshit because what it looked like, and I mean, guess what happened for all intents and purposes was Chris Christie put together a transition team.
And Donald Trump said, oh, you got everybody together that you want? Alright, you're all
fired. All of you and all the people
that you hand-selected, you're gone.
I'm going to get a new group in. It almost seemed like
he really was playing a little 3D chess
and he was like, I'll let those,
I'll let the swamp assemble
the swamp people that they want,
then I'll rake them to the side and then I'll know
that I'm not getting any bad apples when we
put my transition
Team together what wouldn't that be funny if like it came out in a memoir like eight years from now where Trump's like so to
Get rid of the swap I do I had to find the sloppiest creature the whole
About Chris Christie and I had to pick the head best team. I do every single person you would pick was awful
I didn't tell him this ahead of time over very smart man. That's good. I was president
It's like why are you when you write this like you're talking like it's very disjointed chris christie is america's least popular governor right now
that's like his thing he's only least popular because he's he's also the most
popular right like he's the most known like Like, name five other governors, right? I can't. I would struggle, yeah.
I don't know my governor, if I'm being 100%
honest. I just don't.
But I know Chris Christie, and I know a lot about him.
When I went to North Carolina, to Hickory,
North Carolina, that wonderful
rally.
Christie was there, of course, at that thing.
And you're right.
In comparison, Trump looks
slender, young and powerful and
and like statuesque i've noticed i have harsher thoughts towards fat people now that i'm 18 pounds
down it's just now you're starting to get it i have less sympathy 170 pounds imagine the hatred
i'm like fat people hating in my head like fuck just give up the carbs and the
sugar you weak willy pansy you know you're weak will pansy i mean to say like you know i did it
you could do it you like you're not doing it because you're weak you know body acceptance
just means low standards i go i'm i'm such a hypocrite with that. I'm so on your team where I will eat a whole pizza on a cheat day,
and three days later, after being good for three days,
I'll see somebody else ordering a gross sandwich in front of me at Subway
and be like, ugh, the fuck?
It's a Wednesday.
Care about yourself.
Don't you know to just binge on the weekend like an adult? Don't you know that's when
you get all your cheese and carbs?
But you're right. You go so quick.
Would cheating more help me?
Alright, so I now know
that I'm not doing keto strictly.
It was sort of the basis
of where I started, but mostly I'm just
eating clean and staying
away from carbs and sugars like keto tells you to.
But I had a fruit bowl the other day.
Should I cheat more or less?
Like, I'm like, no one gets fat eating pineapple, right?
Wow.
Nobody gets fat eating pineapple unless you eat an insane amount.
You know they have milkshakes in Hawaii.
It's fig and pineapple all day.
I think it's mainly the huge amount of sugary sauces that they're pasting their pork with.
Pineapple sauces.
Oh, that is...
They're not just rubbing pineapple juice on it.
There's added sugar and syrup and all of that.
It's like pulled pork kind of stuff.
No wonder they're fat.
Mine was a legit pineapple that came in a pineapple, in pineapple not a can like it should be healthy i mean like it's it's like anything else don't be
an idiot and you have to be fucking dumb to get fat on fruit like it's you i'm serious you have
to be a fucking moron a a full-on, pants-on-head retard to get overweight on watermelon and pineapple.
And first of all, you get two days into your fruitarian Steve Jobs,
I'll just take the risk with cancer diet,
and you're going to be on the toilet 24-7
because you will have nothing but fructose and water and fiber running through your body
as your body desperately tries to disassemble what little fat is left in your thighs to try and make cells work.
You know, Steve Jobs may have gotten cancer, but that fucker was thin.
From the cancer!
From the cancer!
It worked! Clearly the diet has something going for it.
I like this theory that the thinner one gets the the the stronger the
hatred for the fat become becomes i i like that i i there was nothing more motivating than fat
people hate that reddit subreddit from like that that was uh my reddit usage after fat people hate
was was destroyed went down calamitously because it was like my two that i liked going
to the most was hockey and fat people hate because you just pop on over into fat people
hate and if you were considering a burrito that night or a treat you would look and read the
comments and see the vitriol and the hate that everyday people out there just like you think
when they see a big fat person and you just go, you know what?
No.
Nope.
I want to be on the smug team.
Like, I'm going to be with these guys.
I'm one of the in crowd.
And, of course, it's not healthy.
Or actually, it probably is healthy because you're not eating shit.
I rationalized.
I was like, you know what?
All right.
I'm not as thin as I once was.
But, no, it was, how am I doing for my demo?
Huh? Huh?
For my demo amongst 44-year-olds.
Pretty fucking good.
If you're watching this, I bet I'm hotter than your dad.
You know?
Right?
Like, yeah.
You can compare yourself to other 44-year-olds.
The state of people in their mid-40s in this country is great.
It's so visible.
That's my demo.
That's my peer group baby
and and amongst my peers i'm like top 10 percent top five i was gonna say that but i was being
modest top five somebody else say top five you're top 10 oh yeah you know and then they bring up
yeah yeah top five yeah i uh And yeah, I don't know.
You're just one horrific accident away from a great dating scene.
Oh, John, I laughed and didn't even process it.
I was like, yeah.
Oh, wait.
One sort of Marvel Comics forming moment, and there you are.
Wow.
Tinderman.
Yeah, Tinderman. Tinderman.
Long skinny
fingers raking right.
But
yeah, I look much better than I did and
not as good as I want to.
So that's a thing. I think that's where we're all at.
And we're all marching the path
towards betterment.
So that's good.
Yeah.
I've been working out on the kettlebells hard enough that now sometimes I don't want to say dread it.
But, yeah, there are times when it's just like, oh, yeah, it's kettlebell day.
This is going to hurt.
What's the mace?
I saw those and I saw Rogan talking about the mace.
And that looked pretty cool.
I'm going to add that to the kettlebell.
Yeah, like a mace.
It's a steel thing with a heavier thing on the end.
Does it have spikes?
What do you do with it?
Well, it's for working out.
They're twisting them around and doing kettlebell-style workouts,
but you're rotating them and keeping them stabilized.
It's for prematurely wearing out your rotator cuff.
Try it.
You'll love it.
Well, he suggested that they were good for strengthening all the stuff between your joints
and stuff.
He was like, if you're on a machine, you're just doing this one thing, but you're never
strengthening the connective tissues.
And he made the case of the opposite, that doing that and stabilizing it and doing it
over your head and doing all these weird positions was strengthening all the connective tissues
and creating some...
I think it's funny when they try and like...
I bet you guys worry about working out than I do.
What were you saying, Taylor?
Oh, I was...
I'm on this website, Steel Mace Training, you know, where they're talking about how
you train with a steel mace.
And I like when they take these archaic methods and they try and impose like modern science
and saying like, you know, originally developed by the ancient Persian warrior elite, the
gada, heavy mace in quotes, style of training was directly applicable to real-world combat and wrestling applications.
And then it goes on to, like, real science and shit, and it's like, no.
No, it was people in Persia thousands of years ago didn't know how to make much,
so they made a heavy ball on the end of something, and it was like,
you know, if the other goat people come and try and attack after working out we give them a whack that's a good idea
buddy like you wouldn't be like oh and when you're training with these steel
mace ancient Persian techniques be sure to go by the ancient Persian dirty water
and honey diet you know like that's what you want you want nothing but it's
bullshit my swim coach told us what his swim practices were like.
They would just practice racing.
They didn't know what the fuck to do.
They're like, all right, you raced the 400, so, well, you just go back and forth eight laps really hard,
take a breath, and then keep doing that, and eventually you'll get better at that.
There was no real training.
There was no focus In technique, nothing
They just practiced racing all the time
That's 60s workouts
Now it's way more
I'm probably going to date what now is
But even by the 90s it was way better than the 60s
And our times were better
But anyway
So yeah, I don't know
If the circle back to the Trump thing is interesting
I'm really hoping that this special council But anyway, so yeah, I don't know if a circle back to the Trump thing is interesting.
I'm really hoping that this special counsel completely answers the questions, right?
Like, okay, I hated the TV show Lost because they left these clues, these things over the course of six years.
It was like, well, Walter has special powers.
This number is really significant.
The fat guy, this whole thing exists in his head.
There's a panda on the island.
There's this.
There's dragons.
There's smoke monsters.
There's whatever.
And then you get to the very end, and you're like, wait, what?
He didn't answer.
I hope that, is his name Mueller?
When he comes out, he's going to put out, and it needs to be written an interesting way like a novel that's that's 60 pages that like
answers all the questions rachel maddow has asked over the last 12 months i'd like some illustrations
in there this is the kind of out of box thinking that has made pka so successful
this is what we need to invest in right after the barebore candle market we're gonna go right into graphic novels and we don't even have to wait until all the details
are out you know it'll be just like making a murderer how they make fun of
that and it's always sunny where they're like you're gonna string it on for 10
episodes well of course we're gonna string it on for 10 episodes we don't
give answers we don't give what people want we don't give them you know results
we just imply things. Imply.
That's what we do.
We just write a big story arc of graphic novels.
That would sell well.
Did you read the 9-11?
What was it called?
The 9-11 report, I think.
It might have just been called that. The 9-11 commission report.
Yeah.
Did you guys read that?
Dude, it was good reading.
It was legit good reading like it it starts off with like you know
6 55 a.m you know 19 people get on board in a boston airport and manage to infiltrate the
and you're it's like holy shit this is like a crime novel and you read it all the way through
it was interesting reading and you really got to see, a lot of who knew what when and how it went down.
But mostly, like, the mechanics of what happened on that day.
Well, don't spoil the ending.
I'm going to read it now.
Okay.
Okay.
Is that one of those, like, because you probably know what I mean where you read something about history.
Something I remember, like, specifically is the letter about that albert
fish this serial killer wrote do you know who that is woody so albert fish was uh one of the most
notorious horrible child murdering serial killer psychopaths ever and this dude would capture kill
cook and eat little children and he has a letter out there on the internet,
and it is a letter that he wrote to the mother and father of a little girl.
Of two little boys, yeah.
There were two.
There was one, because he said the younger one had more tender flesh
or some creepy shit.
Oh, I see where this is going now.
It was just a whole letter, and it was written in a way
it wasn't written like i killed your baby and then i ate him up good i fixed him i poured him in a pot
it was like articulate it was like it was a thursday afternoon i decided to go out after
picking up the paper i i saw a nice young boy playing in the street i decided to invite him
back home he was curious and very cute. Once we got in the house,
I told him, like, here, Kyle, you
can jump in with whatever you know, but it was
suffice to say, incredibly upsetting.
It's a real telling of the times that this happened
in. The way that Albert procured the child
is he went to this lady's
house and was like, hey,
see, you've got a small child out here on the walk.
I have a small grandson
the same age having a birthday party
today. How about he comes with me
and we go over to the party? She's like, sure, take him.
Yeah, alright.
Bring him back before, I don't know,
dark? Whenever that happens.
And so Albert
is away with the child and like
days pass and he consumes
the child and then he writes her this letter
and it's delivered to her
she can't read luckily unfortunately her other son can and he reads it out loud to her um and it's
it's it's basically a part of it is a bit of a cookbook yes how long is it all right it's like
two paragraphs two two the part about the pps and the oh man all right Dear Mrs. Budd, in 1894, a friend
of mine shipped as a deckhand
on the steamer Tacoma, Captain John Davis.
They sailed from San Francisco to Hong Kong,
China. On arriving there, he and two
others went ashore and got drunk. When they
returned, the boat was gone. At that time, there was
a famine in China. Meat of any kind
was from one to three dollars a pound.
So great was the suffering among the very poor
that all children under 12 were sold for food
in order to keep others from starving.
A boy or girl under 14 was not safe in the street.
You could go to just about any shop
and ask for a steak, chops, or stew meat.
Part of the naked body of a boy or girl
would be brought out and just what you wanted cut from it.
A boy or girl's behind, which is the sweetest part of the body
and sold as a veal cutlet, brought the highest price.
John said that so long he acquired a taste for human flesh. On his return to
New York he stole two boys, one seven and one eleven, took them to his home, stripped
them naked, tied them in the closet, then burned everything they had on. Several
times every day and night he spanked them, tortured them to make their meat
good and tender. First he killed the 11 year old-old boy because he had the fattest ass
and of course the most meat on it.
Every part of his body was cooked and eaten except
the head, bones, and guts. He was roasted
in the oven, all of his ass
boiled, broiled, fried,
and stewed. The little boy was next. Went the
same way. At that time I was living at 409
East 100th Street, right side.
He told me how good little human
flesh was when I made up my mind to taste it.
On Sunday, June the 3rd, 1928,
I called you at 406 West 15th Street,
bought you a pot cheese, strawberries.
We had lunch.
Grace sat in my lap and kissed me.
I made up my mind to eat her.
On the pretense of taking her to a party,
you said, yes, she could go.
I took her to an empty house in Westchester
I'd already picked out.
When I got there, I told her to remain outside.
She picked wildflowers.
I went upstairs and stripped all my clothes off.
I knew if I did not get her blood on, I did not want her blood to get on them.
When all was ready, I went to the window and called her.
Then I hid in the closet until she was in the room.
When she saw me all naked, she began to cry and tried to run down the stairs.
I grabbed her and she said she would tell her mama.
First, I stripped her naked.
How she did kick, bite, and scratch. Wow. have and I wished she died a virgin that's the end of the letter wow
that is
more evil than
like any like the most
like fucked up like
horror movie writer in the world
has to read something like that and be like
oh man this guy's good
like this guy's the winner of this something like that and be like, oh, man. This guy's good. Like, this guy's the winner of this contest.
Like, that is so fucked up.
No, I got a little...
At first, I thought the girl's parents
were the same as the boy's parents,
but they were different.
Yeah.
It was different.
He was telling about how he first tasted human flesh
in the late 1800s
and how he decided he loved it so much
he just had to do it again.
Christ.
It must taste amazing, eh?
Maybe that's it.
Maybe this guy's stone cold sane,
but human flesh is just delicious.
I had some lamb chops a couple days ago.
I'd never had them before.
I just hadn't.
They were so good.
I think I prefer it to beef now.
Maybe it's like that.
Maybe he tasted human child ass,
and he was like,
oh, how can I go back to pork?
I'm glad this guy got the electric chair.
That must have been a...
See, issues like this
are when I have to rethink about the death penalty,
because I don't like the death penalty,
because stuff can go wrong.
But you read about stuff like this this and a dude who wrote a letter
like that and like if you ask him like
Mr. Fish did you write this letter he's like oh yes
I think it was my best work other than
you know upper thigh
cutlet you know souffle
or whatever the fuck he was making
aside from my recipes this is as good as I do
didn't Albert Fish wasn't he also inserting all those push pins
into his like groin area
and when I say groin sometimes pushpins into his groin area?
I say groin.
Sometimes on TV they'll say groin and they mean genitals.
I mean his entire groin area.
He's pushing pushpins in, and they're all embedded in his groin area in an X-ray.
It was about that time that Fish began to indulge in self-harm.
He would embed needles into his groin and abdomen.
After his arrest, X-rays revealed that fish had at least 29
Needles lodged in his pelvic region
He also had himself repeatedly with a nail studded paddle and inserted wool doused with lighter fluid
Into his anus and set it alight what?
That's just I mean this is that man's afraid of the electric chair yeah he's like you're not even gonna stuff lighter kerosene soaked wool up my ass that's what it was like they're like Mr. Fish we sentence you
to death oh are you gonna stuff me full of steel wool and light me on fire? Jesus! Christ, no! No! What are you talking about? No, we're gonna electrocute- what the fuck?
Jesus! Like I said, Judge is sitting there with his fucking hat all flustered.
Oh! His wig, you know?
I guess we probably should.
When was this?
Fuck, well I don't want to say what we were planning now.
Early 1900s.
That's very intense. We definitely weren't just gonna electrocute you to death.
Right, guys? That wasn't the plan we were going to put needles in your genitals until you die
two steps ahead judge your honor my only issue with the death penalty is that sometimes they
mess it up and that i don't like you know that oh and then a lot of people say that
it's more expensive which i believe like it's no one seems to say no it's more expensive, which I believe. No one seems to say no, it's not.
But I do feel like we could make it.
Can we streamline this?
The system that makes it more expensive is bullshit.
That's the problem. It's not that the death penalty
is inherently flawed. The idea of
killing someone as a punishment
or as the final solution to their
ruined self-being
isn't necessarily
a bad thing or a problem, I think.
It's how we as imperfect beings implement that system.
It's the innocent people who get killed.
It's the guilty people who don't get a quick death.
They asphyxiate or they're tortured.
With the lethal injection, I think sometimes they're lying there
completely unable to scream but in tons of pain.
We really don't know what's going on.
The way they do it in westerns,
you know the old movies?
That seems cost effective.
I bet it's cheaper to do it that way than it is to keep them in cells.
It is, because there's no litigation.
Although they try them.
Those trials go on
sometimes for a week.
Sometimes hours
at a time.
Before everyone involved
is too drunk. Yeah, that's what
Hang Em High is all about. Clint Eastwood is
falsely lynched, hung, at the
beginning of the movie, and then he spends the rest
of the movie, he gets deputized, and then he
goes and gets all the men who falsely hung him.
How do these survivors
hang him?
I don't remember if someone rescued him or
whatever, but the whole movie he's got this awful scar
from where the rope was. He did
survive it somehow or another. I think the limb
breaks or he wiggles out or someone
saves him. I don't recall. The people that
hung him or hanged him, I think hanged is actually right.
The people that hanged him,
were they incompetent or bad?
They were on the lookout
for someone who had actually stolen some cattle
and they came upon Clint Eastwood out in the wilderness
And said ah this must be the guy and then like there's two ways of hanging someone like the
Every time you see them in the town when they're up on that platform with a trapdoor
Like there's a precise amount of rope that they use based on your weight to calculate breaking your neck without tearing your head off
And a lot of times what they'll do instead you see is people just get strangled which is a long
excruciating death and and that's when you just put the rope around someone's neck and then just
suspend them slowly so that you don't get that quick snap of the neck um and then they can last
like depending on how strong you are how thick your neck is all that stuff you can last long
kyle you've been strangled and i know i have a couple of times yeah it's not that bad um there's a panicking completely out of control of your own existence
kind of moments that's like claustrophobia uh a little bit um and there's a there's some pain
but it's it's not the sort of it's not a sharp pain it's a dull squeezing pain the big issue i've
had with strangled which is not an issue in execution is uh for some reason when i come back i'm embarrassed
like it bothers me that everyone else knows what just happened and i have some sort of memory loss
there's a span of time even if it's just 15 seconds where everyone knows something happened
like something interesting happened the man was unconscious they all know about it and i have no recollection of it and being at that disadvantage made me really uncomfortable
every time i always enjoy it it's it's it's like uh i i from panic attacks i've fallen
unconscious many times so it's like i'm pretty accustomed to what it feels like to lose and then
regain consciousness
i guess and i've bumped my noggin a couple times too doing silly stuff so you know uh so whenever
i'm coming out of them oh this is cool oh oh that was cool where was i how long how long
because you can't tell it's it's not like if you take a nap you can often tell oh that was only like a 45 minute nap my eyes still burn
but like with this you're like was that three seconds or was that three minutes were you guys
like did you give me cpr because because it didn't work right like what just happened here like you
know you don't know yeah you don't know i saw a cop hold a choke too long kill a guy the other day
really yeah maybe 90 seconds two minutes three minutes
maybe a brazilian jiu-jitsu practitioner got into a fight with a guy uh it was at a drive-thru
and the other guy was drunk so he was being an ass and like honking and stuff so they came out
to like he like came out to confront him because the honker was clearly overreacting he put him in
a guillotine and uh you know he'd probably done it a bunch of times before.
The guy passes out, comes to,
but something to do with choking out a drunk
is more dangerous.
Their brains like restart button
might be a little rusty when you're drunk.
Could be.
Could be.
I don't think those are actually things.
Yeah, your brain's restart button. It's just in the back. It's a little red are actually things. It brings restart button.
It's in the back. It's a little red thing.
And it's made of metal.
You gotta use a pen.
And it was rusty.
I'm looking up
famous executioners.
What a job that must have been
back in the day.
I'm reading about this guy here who was the executioner for 500, or I guess the less famous Bugatti, Giovanni Bugatti.
He didn't make the fun car.
He conducted over 500 papal executions, meaning that he beheaded over 500 people who had offended somehow the
papacy.
Damn.
Which means they didn't deserve it.
The Catholic Church, the Pope. Yeah, so the Pope.
I would guarantee like only 10% deserved it, right? Because like maybe they offended the
papacy by raping a child or something. No, no, they would like that. What would actually
offend them that we would-
Well, what they would hate more than anything then, I would think, would be blasphemy.
Jews.
So anything that you're preaching, if you preach against whatever religion, Catholicism, at the time, then they'd kill you.
Ah, this is good for a segue.
And I know we've only got like five minutes here or something like that.
We're going to bring it on.
I have been watching this thing called Castlevania on Netflix.
It's a four episode
animated thing based on the
video game that I never played.
But like, just to like, it gets
right into the story right away and I really dug it.
There's gore.
There's like blood and guts.
And not just adult men, like the
women. But the women.
And the children like everyone everyone
gets ripped apart uh basically the story is that uh it's like 1450 the year is and vlad dracula
is a thing and but but he's he's retired from his old impaling ways now he just lives in his
castle with advanced technology uh and and a solitary uh sort of lifestyle and uh a woman comes to him from her ignorant-like city, and she's like, I want to learn to be
a doctor.
I want to learn to use real science.
And he's intrigued because he's like, maybe I'll just drink from you.
And she's like, you're rude.
You haven't even offered to take my coat.
And he's kind of taken aback by this woman's style.
And he's like, I think I like you.
And long story short, they get married.
The townspeople, aka the Catholic Church church decides she's a witch and burn her and so dracula's like crying
tears of blood and turning into a big pillar of fire and coming back as a demon head on the pyre
and he's like you have one year and i will come back and destroy all of you for burning my wife
and and they're all like bullshit and it's like what are you all of you for burning my wife.
And they're all like, bullshit.
And it's like, what are you talking about?
You just saw it happen.
And so a year goes by.
For real, for real.
A year goes by and the cardinal gets wheeled out, right?
They bring him out on one of those altars and put him down in front of everybody.
He's like, a year ago, Satan came to us.
You all saw him.
He said, be prepared.
I'll be back in a year and going to kill you all.
And look at us here.
This is our greatest celebration.
Satan is a deceiver and a liar.
And right about that time, the fucking sky turns dark and Dracula shows up.
And he's like, you're all still here?
I gave you a fucking year to run
for your lives.
I spent that whole year summoning
a hell army. I get
back and you're celebrating
the day you burned my wife.
I've had it!
And he turns loose
this army of... Is this like the opening?
Or have you told the whole story?
Yeah, this is like the first episode.
This is like the first half of the first episode.
On the morning of the anniversary.
Like, that's a 365 days later party.
Like, you gotta be sure.
Yeah, right?
Yeah, because if you're wrong,
then you don't want to be like,
it's almost been a year!
You want to be like, so it's been a year.
We can breathe now. It's been a year. He didn't say a year and, it's almost been a year! You want to be like, so it's been a year. We can breathe now.
It's been a year. He didn't say a year in a day.
He said a year.
That's a pretty interesting premise.
Yeah, he releases this hell army on the city,
and as it's ripping through these
beasts with wings and fangs and claws,
they're tearing babies apart,
and there's a part where you see a baby
in its jaws as it's running away,
like eating the baby.
And just big swaths of people get clawed apart
and guts go everywhere.
It's a real dark time.
And then, of course, there's a hero to come in
and try to help with all this.
But honestly, I'm on Dracula's side.
Have you watched The Young Pope yet?
No, but I saw it on HBO.
See, I've been catching up with Game of Thrones.
I watched season six of Game of Thrones.
I actually saw that.
But Young Pope didn't move quick enough for me in the first episode or two.
I need a media consumption professional like you to tell me if it's good or not.
I actually did watch Young Pope the first, I think, two, maybe three episodes.
And it also didn't pull me in.
It wasn't that I disliked it.
It was just, I wasn't...
It wasn't as interesting as I thought.
There's something about a show about the Pope
where if the Pope...
If there's fucking cell phones and cars
and it's modern day society and you're the Pope,
like, I'm sorry,
but even though you're still a powerful dude,
you're not a fucking percent of a tenth as powerful
as the Pope 400 years
ago I want to look at the Pope from the year 800 you know when it was well
there's the king of England there's the king of France and there's the Pope the
three most powerful people on the planet like it's more there's more at stake I
don't want to watch the up-and-comer Pope like yeah we're gonna claw back
like two percent of what we used to be able to do if we were at the ocean's edge and we were worried it was too rough,
I would understand if you sent me in to go check it out, right?
That's something that I – this is where we need Kyle, right, Kyle?
I'm not a huge Jude Law fan.
Kyle can do five episodes into this thing.
See, I don't like that.
You know what turns me off to Sherlock?
I always heard about this Sherlock Holmes show on the BBC and the Cumberbatch guy.
Batch guy.
And I was like, yeah, yeah, I like that guy.
I guess I'm going to finally get into Sherlock.
I like the idea of Sherlock Holmes and Watson and all that good stuff.
It's modern day?
They're fucking driving around in cars and shit? I had no idea.
As soon as I saw there was no fucking pipe
and silly hats, I just
noped right out of that shit.
Who needs Sherlock when you can just Google shit?
Yeah, I've seen CSI.
I've seen CSI.
I've got a bit of an intuition about this
murder scene. Well, don't fucking touch anything
Sherlock, because forensics is coming
and they'll tell you.
No, I don't need that. I think
I've got this in the bag. Wipe that blood
up. No, I'm not fucking touching it, you maniac.
Like, we're not going on
hunches. Put your magnifying glass away.
Watch it or you'll fill in it.
He's doing that, like,
detective hand behind him magnifying glass.
He's like, ah,
dust, as I suspected. You as i suspected you know a slight
breeze coming from this crack in the floor yes sherlock that's the ac system get the fuck out of
here jesus it's not it's not always a secret wall you cunt what is this devilry it's the exit sign
it's the exit yeah of course sherlock isn't left. But Sherlock isn't from. Of course not.
Of course not.
Okay, thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
I was like, if they literally took some guy from like, I don't know, Columbus time and
brought him.
That would be a better show.
That would be.
If you time warped old timey Sherlock Holmes from like industrial era or whatever into
modern day.
And then that was the thing that like.
It'd be a comedy.
He'd be a laughingstock.
No, at first he would, and then every step of the way,
you'd write in a way that his old-timey techniques trump the new techniques.
They'd be like, ah, he used bleach all over this.
There's no DNA anywhere.
Ha, my good man, don't you smell that acetone?
Clearly we're dealing with the fingernail lady.
That's what I would like.
I would want to see a show where they bring back someone who was brilliant in the year 1200,
and then they just get beat the fuck out by someone just with a phone here,
where he comes into the future and he's like,
Finally, I can make headway into my research.
Tell me, what have you discovered of our
many humors in the body?
Like, humors?
What do you mean? You know,
viscera, blood, gore,
the confines of your mind controlled by these humors,
yes? No.
No, no, no. It's way more
complicated. Oh my god my god dude are you serious
are you serious he's like my whole life's work is nothing come here rub your head to determine
if you have any illness well at least tell me the the upcoming events of phrenology you know
which is the discovery of the head you know so they could like look at basically a black person
and be like oh oh, clearly inferior.
They look different.
I thought that would be a good gift
for you one time. I saw one of those phrenology heads.
It's like a human-sized head made of glass
or something, and it's got all the zones
drawn out and descripted and everything.
If they discovered my skeleton
in the year 1890,
I'd have my own Wikipedia page.
Clearly the Homo sapiens have naked with the Cro-Magnon's all of the creationist would
be like well then you explain to me the late 17th century Mirka man explain the
size of that head you You find me one human
being on this planet with a head that size.
The Lord clearly made us special.
You don't think of that kind of...
I don't know why that's funny to me.
I wonder...
I'm excited about the Trump story. I know I brought
it up like twice. I wonder, is it going to
go anywhere? Probably not. It never does.
It never does.
And then I know i've dismissed the
whole idea that the trumps i'm extending that to the junior now are playing 3d chess but he tweeted
out what seemed to be incriminating emails he's like hey i have no secrets these are the emails
and uh it's like his claim is that because he didn't get any good info that he's innocent, right?
Like, I can just imagine the conversation with my wife.
I think Trevor Noah did this.
Honey, the reason I met that woman at the hotel is she said she would fuck me.
But turns out she wouldn't.
So why are you mad?
Right?
That is the defense that they're pulling.
And it'll probably work. always does yeah it's different legally but we'll see if there's stuff there i
want it uncovered yeah i really don't like this whole fucking trump clan i saw two lawyers on tv
today argue about whether taking a meeting with her for like nefarious information about hillary
clinton is soliciting that information or not because that's a i guess that's against the law meeting with her for like nefarious information about Hillary Clinton is
soliciting that information or not.
Cause that's a,
I guess that's against the law.
And they're like,
he wasn't soliciting it.
It was offered.
And they're like,
well,
he took the meeting that's soliciting.
I don't know.
I don't know either.
We'll have to see.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'll see.
Uh,
but anyway,
super interesting day.
Yeah.
Yep.
All right. PKN. Check out Castlevania. You'll like it. On Netflix. interesting day. Yeah. Yeah. All right, PKN.
Check out Castlevania.
You'll like it.
On Netflix, you say.
Yeah, it's four episodes.
Only four episodes.
It's like two hours of total content.
Oh, dude, I rewatched season six of Game of Thrones.
It was good.
And there were things I forgot.
I'm halfway through it right now, and I'm digging it, yeah.
I was like, I don't know.
There were some significant deaths that i forgot uh walter fray i forgot they killed walter from like yeah i don't know how
right and then aria is like they're here they're in the like who did he feed to walter fray his
sons yep yeah his son and she's like you know see i want the last i am aria stark i want you to know that
i want you to know the last thing you will know the last thing you will see is a stark
shoving a knife through your heart and then she does it uh and it was just i'm coming up on that
episode like i just watched the episode where like aria gets stabbed and falls in the water or whatever.
It's such an amazing fucking show, man.
It's full of those incredible moments that'll give you goosebumps or whatever. The Khaleesi rides in on her dragon and she's like,
Every other call before has asked for three Blood Riders.
Not me, though.
You're all my Blood Riders. I i'm gonna ask more of you than any
other call asked before you you getting the wooden ships and cross the salt sea they're all like fuck
yeah will you kill the men in the iron suits yeah will you tear down their stone houses as no call
is done before they're like fuck yeah she's like all right let's go and like there's
like a quarter million of them over there the storm that is the calise i just i can't wait to
see that like land right like i want them to get out and be like all right we're fucking here let's
find some people to kill for some reason the sons of the harpy were this big problem that couldn't
seem they couldn't deal with them even though they 8,000 unsullied in the brotherhood.
They had the masks.
They were underground.
Guerrilla resistance.
Exactly.
They were terrorists, right?
They were very tricky.
Terrorists.
But they're out there like killing people
and then like a quarter million Dothraki screamers
come in on their horses
and it's like, yes, yes.
Like now she has the Dothraki behind her again.
Like, all of them.
Like, all of them in existence, it seems like.
Because that's what they were doing at Vase Dothrak.
They were having, like, the big quarterly meeting, right?
Like, everybody's coming in from the outside branches.
The international crew came in from Essos.
I didn't realize there were so many calls early in Game of Thrones.
Like, season one or something.
I thought he led the Dothrakis. I didn't realize there were a dozen of early in Game of Thrones. Like season one or something, I thought he led the Dothrakis.
I didn't realize there were a dozen of him.
Well, you were right and wrong because he was the greatest of the calls
and he had united all the calls to go do one thing, right?
Okay.
But normally I think they're like, you know,
they're traveling warlords with their own bands,
varying in power, like war chiefs.
So he was an extra good call.
Yeah, because clearly when the Khaleesi was like,
I'm Khal Drogo's, she's like, I'm the breaker of chains
and the mother of dragons and the queen of marine.
And also I was married to Khal Drogo.
And they're like, you were married to Khal Drogo?
Oh, shit.
We're so sorry.
We're so sorry.
No man can touch a Khal's wait wait up yeah they changed
their mind about that yeah yeah later on when they all meet they're like we're all gonna fuck you
and then our blood riders will fuck you and if there's anything left of you we'll toss you to
the rest and horses get you then and she's like no nobody will fuck me and then she starts burning
shit it was really good yeah the horses you're right they said if anything left the horses get in on it yeah and uh they've seen bad drag and they were only
two buckets of water from the whole plan going tits up you know someone has started a fire in
the corner of our heart put it out back to business that's exactly what happened as fucking naked denaris stood out there
shivering where's my warm fire for me to jump into if you watch that scene again i don't know
why like it's like a tiki torch or something bigger than that but let's call it a tiki torch
for my purposes they knock it over and all of a sudden it's a 70s flamethrower from vietnam oh
well it's full of oil it's a big basin of it'sower from Vietnam. Oh, well, it's full of oil. It's a big basin of
oil. It's two big basins of oil
that must be holding like
three gallons each. So it's like she
pushes like six gallons of burning oil
and it splatters all over everything.
And it comes back up. It kind of defies gravity
attached. It goes everywhere. It's reminiscent to me,
you know, in Austin Powers,
that scene where the guy is
in the cement roller or whatever and
He's going straight towards that dude who's like 50 yards from and the guy's like
And eventually, you know after a minute it gets to him and crushes him
That's what I imagine it being like in that hut where it's like, how do we get out of this fiery hut?
We cannot use our swords to cut through the leafy walls.
No swords.
There's no swords.
See, that's the thing.
No weapons in base got threatened.
Well, he said that.
He can't use our swords.
We cannot use our big muscles and these wooden chairs to bash up.
If you give me my hands and you put me in one of those Japanese houses
with paper walls, I'll make a fucking mess of the place.
Laura came and locked the door for us. She told him to.
Yeah, but it's like
if I get... The only point you can stand on here
is that place burnt down like it was made of
kindling. Like, it was like... You gotta have it
one way or another. Either that place is so
sturdy that these men just can't get their way
out, or it's so
tinderbox light that it goes up like
that and it burns down instantly. It's one or the other.
But realistically, they should have either been able to get out or, like that and it burns down instantly. It's one or the other. But realistically,
they should have either been able to get out
or stomp that fire out.
I think the three of us would have beat that girl to death
and then put that fire out
with her body.
Gur Martin in interviews has said
she is not fireproof.
That was a one-time
event. I guess so.
And we're like, but a minute you know what about the
super hot water that you know like the other people didn't like but she was cool with or
what about that time she touched like the ring of a fire i think that happened early on yeah
all the whole way through in the show at least she's been fire resistant it just makes sense
that she's gonna have a flame fire breathing dragon like like i don't care what martin said
like it's i've always ignored that because of the hot bath and everything that stemmed from it yeah there's just
been so many signs that she's full-on fireproof anytime she needs to be and we certainly saw it
this time yeah burned down in the building she grabs you know that and that that's a moment in
its own regard she grabs that urn of oil that's burning and and the side of it should have been
hundreds of degrees you have been hundreds of
degrees you know like one of those things where you touch it you're like ah fuck fuck fuck and
she's like so i'll lead them and they're all like what what she's just touching that what wait wait
wait and then she shoves them over so i like that moment and i hate it at the same time that moment
would have worked so much better it would work so much better if she dumped the oil directly on the men.
If the oil had immediately ignited
the men, then I'm 100%
on board.
They were on bleachers,
if I recall.
She ascends to a higher thing.
I'm talking about redesigning the whole set.
All I'm saying is that it was a little unbelievable
that that whole place burnt down and all of those men
perished before they could get out or any of their hundreds
of thousands of cohorts could save them.
It's not like
there's a lot of stuff hiding the fact
that that place was going up like a tinderbox.
Everyone would immediately know.
Who burns this place?
It's the girl covered in oil, everyone.
It's that one.
That would have been cool.
They killed the lookouts.
They did do that. what if she had soaked herself in the oil and she was just a flame
like fighting them
like Johnny Flame in the Fantastic Four
I love this idea
and every time they tried to combat her they would ignite
yeah I like that idea
they hit her and then they have third degree burns
it's just as stupid as
what happened I don't know.
I don't like the unrealistic.
That sounds so stupid to say unrealistic parts of Game of Thrones.
But you know what I mean.
Unrealistic within the universe.
How many times have we seen some physically weak character get,
bah, fucking reality smacked right into him right away.
Oh, you thought you were the good righteous character?
Well, I'm the big strong character.
And that trumps that 1,000% of the time. like and and this was one of those moments where we're like oh
so the pretty girl wins just because eh okay there's another moment they got a ton of heat
for it with the damn sand snakes right yeah that's the lowest rated episode of all time
you can watch the imdb like episode by episode thing and that one is the like the only one
that fell below a seven I want to say on their aggregate score thingy read the
books and then you watch that episode like the whole thing you're thinking
when you're watching Game of Thrones anyway is like oh come on like get back
to Tyrion get back to Arya like let me see what's going on with John like
you're wishing almost the whole series away for the next ledge of the storyline
and when you spend
40 minutes on these
bitches with nothing to do
with the story itself, it's like
oh my god, you didn't just
waste 40 minutes, the opportunity
cost of those 40 minutes you wasted
is infinite, because you could have
done anything with those 40 minutes that actually pushed the
story forward instead of just
Making up shit characters because people complain there weren't enough women in it
And you know that's the reason why they did that is because they wanted to put more female characters in it
It's like well
Let me ask you this do you think that women out there are so stupid who like this show that they watch?
Female characters like that and they're like haha. That's what I like. This is what I enjoy in this show
It's like the worst part enjoy enjoy character development like men do.
They want to watch interesting characters.
And these were not interesting.
They were shit.
They took up time.
And worst of all is that you're putting those three silly characters in
in comparison with characters like Brienne and all the other bad—
Cersei and Arya and all of the other women in the show.
Every woman in the show is a badass. Like, Sansa has has had i mean you can say what she's been a victim but like
it's just the last badass i think of aria when i think badass in the series aria is a fucking
like like triple black belt assassin like faceless man uh little girl who's gonna be
always underestimated but will gouge her eyeballs out.
Like, super terrifying.
So you don't need these, like, titty girls with, like, Ninja Turtle weapons.
Sansa's growing a backbone.
So there's that.
I just watched her recently, you know, see the dogs on Ramsey.
Yeah.
And I was like, all right.
Sansa's calculating.
I hope Sansa is about to be the next Littlefinger.
She fails me.
But that's what I'm still hoping for.
Yeah, I know.
Ramsey's death was all brought on by himself, really, with the dogs.
Starving dogs.
Where it was like, you know what?
If Ramsey had just fed those dogs instead of being a psychopath,
then he would have been locked in that cage,
and she would have left, and the dogs wouldn't have eaten him
and he would have lived.
But because he's a psychopath...
The ropes!
The ropes, Fido!
Remember me?
Lovely Ramsey, your favorite.
And he'd be like,
Yeah, boss, I remember.
Yeah, boss, I remember.
Oh, I remember.
You let me eat them bitches.
Let's go.
Yeah, we can wrap.
Yeah, good show.
All right.
PKN 152.