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And we're live! Pain Killer Nearly, episode 155.
Oh gosh, are you guys playing a trick on me?
As soon as you said we're live, I got like this weird freeze.
Like everything froze a bit.
But I think we're good now, I think we're good now.
That's not true! Taylor was moving slightly.
I swear to God, I think Taylor may have played along,
but like I actually got a technical issue.
Taylor was just like in the groove like that, ready to fuck people that's all that that's it so man 214 happened and it it was 214 right i hope
it wasn't 214 happened and that i thought it was an excellent card i thought it was like an eight
out of ten especially compared to it was the best card this year it was the most successful card
this year it started off we were just discussing with these guys, Jimmy Manowar fought this guy whose name
we can't pronounce.
I can pronounce it.
Mier.
This is the same
card as John Jones
and Daniel Cormier.
That was the final one.
Yeah, they start from
worst and go to last. That's usually their idea.
Make you sit through the whole fucking thing.
So Jimmy Manowar comes out, gets his ass knocked the fuck out in 22 seconds.
This Volkan guy just starts the night with a bang.
I just feel like to lay it out, Jimmy Manowar was a world – like he was the man.
He was probably next in line for a title shot, maybe Gustaf.
But he's out there calling out DC week after week.
I can get you.
I can get you.
I can get you. I can get you.
I can get you.
The reason Jimmy Manowat is on this card is if Jones or Daniel Cormier get hurt,
he's the fill-in, right?
They do that a lot.
I love they do that.
Lozon was that guy once.
When Frankie Edgar fought Benson Henderson, Lozon and Pettis were on the card,
and they didn't tell him which, but they're like, hey, come out to Tokyo.
If someone drops out of the title fight, just saying, that's why you're here.
Man, I'd have had those eye drops ready.
You know how you poison people with eye drops?
Boink, boink, have some, Pettis, boink, boink.
I'd take two or three fighters out.
I'd end up fighting some guy that they didn't even have.
If you take all three of them out, then they got to find just some dummy to fight you.
But it's still showtime, right?
You get to go tee off on some guy that hasn't even done a camp.
That's a real thing, that eye drops give you diarrhea.
Oh, it's no.
So I read up on this quite a bit last time we talked about this.
They will give you a lot of things, and diarrhea is one of them.
But they can also mess with your heart rate, slow your breathing.
If you dump a whole... I mean, it feels silly to talk about this,
but I think we should because there's this urban myth that,
oh, yeah, it'll give him the poops.
You could kill your buddy if you give him these things,
especially if he's got a heart murmur you don't fucking know about
or some weird shit.
He's got some respiratory condition.
You'll kill someone with those things.
I had no idea it was that dangerous.
I thought it came up on PKA and that was an urban
legend. We researched it.
We researched and we discovered
that it has all kinds of
bad things that it can do to you.
It's really bad for you.
But back to the fight. Was the third
fight of the night Cyborg?
Yes, she was third. Lawler and Cerrone
was second if we're going in order.
And that was good.
Yeah, I want to talk. So Cyborg comes out and she looks like what Cyborg is.
She looks like an unbeatable god. She looks like a man. She looks monstrous.
Her shoulders are too wide for a woman. Her hips are too narrow.
She's got a masculine frame in it. And it's like, God damn, here she comes.
And then Tanya Evinger, her opponent, comes out.
And this is when I realize who Tanya Evinger is and why they always just show her butchy face.
It's because Tanya Evinger has skinny arms and narrow shoulders, and she's a 135 top 10 in the UFC, if you ask me.
She needs to be fighting someone like Beche Carrera or something like that.
It would be a fun fight.
It would.
I think they've actually fought before, maybe. But but it may be in strike force or something, but anyway,
they fucking go at it. And right away you're like, Oh my God, this is the least skilled opponent
I've ever seen in a five round fight, Tanya Ebinger. And the worst thing is Chris Cyborg
has no technique. We've been lied to. Apparently She has no technique. All she does is manhandle
people, and she's clearly so
like, I don't want to say
afraid, because she's not afraid, but she's being
careful. She's being technical.
And when she
should be going in there and just
throwing this bitch down and
just dog-fucking her, because she could.
Rousey was a superstar,
because Rousey would go in there and
beat bitches in the first round she has 19 second win over beche or whatever her name was yeah if
the cyborg we saw that night fought beche she'd slowly pick her apart apart across four rounds
you know being careful careful careful and it's not what this is the ufc man we want to see some
animals in there we want to entertainment it's entertainment and tanya evanger comes out there and she gives her heart out uh she
fights as hard as she possibly can like like if any tanya evanger won a lot of fans chris cyborg
lost a lot of fans that's my analysis of that fight and it's not because of anything bad cyborg
did it was just that she wasn't what she'd been sold as. She fought very safe and
technically. She didn't take many hits, partially because like, man, did you see Avenger's offense?
It was these big telegraphed, overhand looping windmill punches that are just bar fight amateur
type stuff. It's the stuff you see out of like someone who doesn't know anything about striking
and they're afraid.
That's what she was. She was afraid.
She admitted it afterwards. She should have been.
I can't describe it exactly,
but something about the way Evinger
moved just betrayed that she
was not athletic.
She was like the sand snakes.
Very unfluid.
On the other hand, I remember when
I fought Joe Lawson. The first time ever you were there with the camera doing the Russian accent in his gym,
Joe just jumped up and down and loosened up his neck and I was like, he's different than me.
Something about the way he shook it out.
You can see the muscle chain activating just in his regular movements.
Everything's moving with flow and
with precision and and when you see top the biggest thing that'll give it away to if you
haven't seen a lot of fights is like if you if a regular fighter is out there and he or her or he
or she's in their stance and you put a shoulder up a hand on them and give them a push or whatever
like they their level will change or their feet will move in unison and they'll move the right
foot first.
There's no, like, you'd never cross your feet.
Like, your feet move a certain way.
Tanya didn't have any of that.
Cyborg would put a little pressure on her.
She'd give her a jab or push her or give a body shot.
And she would tip.
She would tip top first instead of lowering her body and, like, ooh, let me balance.
Let me keep my balance.
You see these guys talk about movement coaches,
and I see Conor out there doing crazy,
like rolling around and crawling like a panther or something.
And it seems silly, but Tanya could really benefit
from some of that panther movement
because she looked uncoordinated and stiff and wasn't a great fighter.
145-pound women is a total disaster right now.
First of all, it appears that there's only
one fighter in this whole division.
Oh, that's not going to last. Not after that showing.
In my opinion...
No one was willing to fight her before this fight.
Nobody was.
She wasn't interesting.
The champion before her
backed out. The woman's
the champion, right? She's got a giant
belt bigger than my head. The Iron's the champion, right? She's got a giant belt bigger than
my head, the Iron Lady. And they
say, alright, number one contender, Cyborg.
She's next. And the woman goes,
nah, I'd rather
not fight at all.
Here's the belt. Here's
my championship belt. Anything.
Just please don't make me fight Cyborg.
So I was ready to see this kill it.
It couldn't have gone much worse.
It was absolutely a disaster.
I guess I still like watching it, though.
I think Amanda Nunez can beat Cyborg.
I think Durandamy can beat Cyborg.
That's not a totally original idea.
I had it last night, but then I heard Frank Mir say it today,
and I was like, I couldn't agree more.
That's what I was thinking last night.
I was thinking Amanda Nunez hits harder than Cyborg, I think.
It's definitely harder and more accurate. Like, they're both
hitting some mechanical machine. Cyborg can
produce more power, more raw power,
but Amanda Nunez is going to apply
it in a much more precise
timed way that Cyborg doesn't
have the skill for.
I was not impressed with
Cyborg. I feel like she's like a Brock Lesnar
type character who's just all
overpowering mass
and very little skill to go with it.
Although Brock has that wrestling background, so that's not entirely
true. But isn't she kind of understood to be
like the person to beat right now?
We're women? No.
So in Japan, there's this 250
pound woman, right? So like,
is she the one to beat?
Not really. No, that's gross. Exactly.
So like, at 145 pounds fighting weight, Chris Cyborg's the woman to beat.
There's only one woman in the world who does that.
Being a woman and fighting at 250 pounds is like being a man and fighting at 83 pounds.
Like, there are no other people in that range to fight.
Like, you're going to be the best by default.
Like, if you're, like're the grand poobah,
the strongest dwarf in America,
you could just dominate that whole run.
Dwarf wars.
Tell me
that you wouldn't be incredibly
intrigued if they brought out two dwarves
who both know how to fight
and they did a UFC.
I've been saying that for a long time.
No, for real. Maybe you bring a like a little person UFC. I've been saying that for a long time. No, no, for real.
I think like maybe you bring a couple of little people out.
Like that's part of the event.
Like, you know, like I would have preferred that to Woodley Maya.
And that was the next fire of the night.
Oh, did Woodley win?
He absolutely did.
Nice.
So Tyron Woodley.
That's my guy.
He looks like a fucking action figure he is very
muscular and like that bulbous like anime drawn kind of way where the muscles are very rounded
it looks like you drew a bunch of circles you know you learn to to draw certain things it's
like oh yeah draw four ovals and then a circle on top and you can it's a duck if you drew a whole
bunch of big circles and then put a head on top it'd be tyrone woodley because he's just massive muscles not only does he look amazing right he's a perfect specimen he doesn't look
like he's on steroids and this is just the eye test and it's inaccurate and etc but sometimes
people on steroids have oversized heads their traps are particularly well developed and um
you know their body fat is insanely low in their vast tyrone woodley looks
amazing not insanely vascular though his oblique muscles a little bit of body fat not fat don't get
me wrong he's a man but like he doesn't have some of the he doesn't have um bitch tits he looks like
an amazing nine percent body fat or something. Possibly natural. Amazing. What are the biggest things to look for for steroids?
Big head, bitch tits.
It also has to do with their history as a fighter.
Like, I think, like, there are some guys who, like, all of a sudden, like, Vito Belfort, right?
Like, he didn't pass the eye test.
There's guys who, like, their careers were going a certain way
and then they become a totally different kind of athlete.
A resurgence in your late 30s.
Yeah, you look like Barry Bonds.
Yeah, that's usually when you get your second win in professional fighting.
Barry Bonds early in his career, he's very slender.
He's tall and slender and he moves very well.
He had a lot of stolen bases early in his career.
He's an agile athlete
and then you see the end game get barry bonds where he literally has like armor on like like
he's given up on speed he's got that armor thing on his elbow he wears because he's coming out and
sitting on that plate if you want to hit him fucking hit him like he's gonna ding that thing
like like you're not gonna intimidate him because he's wearing fucking armor as he when he i'd never
seen that before like i just remember being like
have you seen why does he get armor did he get popular uh no no what got popular was walking
barry bonds it was just outrageous and that was steroids like totally yeah you could just see it
and so that that to me is the one like when guys get better in their 40s like we know anderson
silva is not on steroids right at this moment because he's got dad bod and he's not himself i remember it with
mark mcguire happening like in real time because that you know mcguire sosa uh home run race was
so huge everywhere in the country it seemed like every day there was a new picture of those two
on the front page of a newspaper and you can see in real time like just like god damn
like mark mcguire's putting in the hours at the gym jesus christ and then like if you like he
i looked up pictures like here like the before and after steroid thing for him like
forearms have to be another thing that's indicative of steroids because this guy's
like you cannot look at mark mcguire's forearms from like 2000 and be like that's a that's just
a healthy man like no arms are so important in batting they're like like he because of those
overdeveloped forearms and you probably know like those guys have a whole different kind of hitting
power that the rest of the people don't have like like like swinging a bat is this big fluid motion with with a whole bunch of muscles
working and your hips and your your foot placement and there's all kinds of ways to do it that's the
other thing like in sport i don't know in hockey is there many different ways to hit a puck is oh
yeah he uses the weaver stance and this guy's a standing triangle there's lots of different
style you can do slap shots snap shots. I don't know any hockey stands.
Backhanders.
There's tons of different ways to shoot it.
All right.
But no, the slap shot in particular, do lots of people do it differently?
Like, I really just...
Does anyone, like, do a wind-up?
Does anyone, like, do anything like raise their front leg and step?
Like, you know, is there any of that?
I feel like that's just telegraphic, a very quick, important movement. Zdeno chara used to do his slap shot where like he's the guy who's like 610
and from czechoslovakia some one of those fucking countries and a lot of people just bring their
stick up to here and do the slap shot he used to do it where he would be like like until it was
like going over like pointing the other direction and then come down and whip it and this was the guy that has a stick so big that other players can't use it
because his hands are massive, his forearms are massive.
And so he'd get that thing going like 109 miles an hour.
McGuire's forearms were just so much that he could just,
with just wrists in his forearms,
he could knock one out into the shallow left field or something.
It was very impressive.
But yeah, Damian Maia, Tyron Woodley fight.
Maia's thing, he's on a seven win win
streak. He's a specialist. He's a jujitsu
master. Probably the best
in the UFC. Everyone regards him as
such. And Maia's
game plan was clearly
don't let him take you down.
No matter what, don't let him take you down.
Excuse me, yes, that's Woodley's game plan.
Maia's game plan is nothing but I'm gonna
take you down. Woodley's game plan is don't let it happen 24 times this guy shot on him tried to
take him down his knees were bloody from scraping him on the mat both how many times did he get him
never never got him what that doesn't even seem that's like an anomaly isn't it like you think
at least one of them woodley has a 90 percent takedown denial. There's a term for it. Maybe 95%.
Now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's been stat padding for five rounds.
Highest for a welterweight ever.
Yeah, that's like the UFC version of cage match headshots.
In the first round, like the second or third time that Maya tried to take Woodley down,
Woodley hits him with an uppercut, a very hard uppercut in his eye.
And it closes the eye about three quarters of the way, maybe a little more.
And Woodley just stayed at – kept his distance, kept a really consistent pace that I'm sure he knew he could keep because his cardio is off the chain.
For the next 24 and a half minutes, he stalled.
Yeah. It broke a record
for least strikes thrown
in a five-round fight.
It cut the record in half. The previous record
was like 124 punches
thrown. 63 or something
thrown in this one. 62.
Something like that.
The crowd was
going, boring! Boring boring and waving their cell phones like
at a concert i've never seen the cell phone thing ever that you could see them like fireflies in the
background of the cage just just waving like a concert it was off so some people will say a fight
is boring and uh like i'm one of those like I don't know, wine and cheese guys who are like,
no, you just didn't appreciate the subtleties of all that was happening.
All those feints.
This fight was boring as fuck.
It was just one guy shooting un-telegraphed takedowns from 12 feet away.
Another guy stuffing them easily for 25 minutes
and it was maya was not impressive maya looked maya looked like if you didn't tell me that maya
was on a seven fight win streak if you told me that maya just came out of retirement and he's
been gone for a year i don't believe that so the thing with maya is if he gets you down once you're
oh you're doomed he like he is so awesome he will accept you be like if you if if he gets you down once, you're doomed. He is so awesome.
He will accept you being, like, if Woodley's like, hey, I'll go down with you in full mount,
Maya would still say yes.
Like, just dare you to touch the canvas with me.
I will wreck you.
Twice, Woodley grabbed the cage to prevent a takedown.
Saw that.
And I wonder what would have happened.
Is that against the rules?
Yes.
Yeah.
So Woodley cheated because he was going down. a takedown saw that and i wonder what would have happened is that against the rules yes yeah so
woodley cheated because he was going down he grabs the cage and now the takedown fails one time he
got a formal warning the other time i don't think they did anything didn't take the point even though
he said i'm gonna yeah he said you do it again i'm taking a point and then he did it again later
on and there was no point taken not that it would have mattered because well it um what
were the scores i thought it was pretty lopsided there was one of them where
i i don't remember the scores i thought i don't remember the scores so was this whole fight like
maya i guess doing badly or was it like was it just kind of like a bad showing what it was was
woodley was afraid woodley was being woodley does not want to lose his championship belt.
He has a lot of, one, everybody wants the money fight.
They want to fight GSP, who's right around the corner,
this guy coming back out of retirement who is in that weight division
and a superstar.
He was the Conor McGregor of his time.
The idea is that, and I watched the press conference for this event,
and a reporter asked Dana White, they're like,
hey, has the GSP-Bisping fight sailed?
He's like, oh yeah, that ship has sailed.
Whoever wins this fight gets GSP.
And Tyrone goes, nah, because he don't want to fight me.
He's like, nobody.
You win, you win the fight on Saturday, you get GSP.
Immediately after the fight, saturday you get gsp immediately after the fight they interview dana white he's like who wants to pay to see tyron woodley fight again
i'm like whoa that's the guy that runs the usc he's the promoter he's the guy that promotes
woodley is like yeah who wants i wouldn't pay to watch woodley fight yeah he's like that was a
boring he says i'm gonna take g I'm going to fight him against Bisping
because Bisping will come to fight.
Bisping will fight GSP.
Woodley?
That guy doesn't come to fight.
Now,
Dana,
it's three times in a row now.
So,
he fought this
ground specialist,
Damian Maia,
and all he did is like
push him away,
push him away,
push him away.
Super careful,
super calculated,
got his win.
And then he fought Wonderboy twice before wonder boy is an exciting fighter but both wonder boy and woodley were just super cautious avoiding each other so woodley has three duds in a row who won
those wow the first i only know who wonder boy is because you guys wonder boy but he's one of the
big ones the first time they, it was a majority draw.
So that's kind of like a Woodley win because the champion keeps his belt.
The second time they fought, Woodley just won.
Yeah.
The Wonderboy guy is a really exciting fighter to watch
because he's kind of what you used to see in karate movies
because he's like a point karate expert.
He's got an unorthodox stance.
He stands funny, and he moves funny, and he does a lot of kicks, a unorthodox stance he stands funny he's kind of and and he
moves funny and he does a lot of kicks a lot of high kicks and fun stuff to watch yeah yeah and
when he connect and he connects with them a lot he's very accurate when he's throwing these kicks
up like it's the dexterity on his or you're like oh that's a little different than when some of
these clumsy fuckers throw a kick they're just throwing a kick because they they've hit a bag
8 000 times whereas wood woodley's probably kicked a bag 800 000 times or something like that he's just another
level but and uh both of them play the distance game and both of them are pretty similar and
woodley was like i'm not gonna let that fucker kick me in the head and he didn't oh so woodley's
had three boring fights in a row now and like i was saying gsp the guy everyone's excited to see
return to the ufc is not going to fight woodley anymore that would have been like he would have
got huge pay-per-view money and they're like i'm gonna take that pay-per-view money i'm gonna give
it to bisping because bisping will come to fight and he will million dollars it's a million dollars
i would i would say like whoever goes to fight against bisping they'll get a mil maybe i would
say this the difference between gsp and someone else is a million.
Like if they would have gotten 450 grand for a dud fight,
they'll get 1.4 for the GSP fight.
Yeah, maybe so.
It just depends who they are, I guess.
They asked who Tyron was going to fight next,
and Dana said, I know what he said.
I know why he said this, because it's the thing Tyron fears the most.
He said, maybebie lawler maybe maybe the savage that we keep in the back yeah we bring out every now and then
he's blanca from street fighter he's just like
the hair in the orange maybe we'll get that guy in there have a champ that comes to fight
speaking of him he was the good fight of the night,
the best fight of the night, if you ask me.
I would have picked Coyier, but all right.
Robbie Lawler against Cowboy Cerrone,
two guys who are just, don't give any shit.
Real quick, is Cowboy Cerrone the guy from It's Always Sunny?
Yeah, yeah, and the guys from It's Always Sunny are their ringside,
like all three of them, they're next to each other.
Like Dennis is pointing at the camera, giving him the crazy eye. Yeah, and the guys from It's Always Sunny are their ringside. All three of them. They're next to each other.
Like Dennis is pointing at the camera and I'm giving him the crazy eye.
So yeah, they're all friends.
I heard Cerrone mention those guys
in one of his podcast interviews.
I'm not a huge fan of Cerrone's personality.
He had kicked that civilian, and that seems like...
He's been in two street fights.
I feel like pros should choke out civilians
and use their jiu-jitsu
because they know even better than any of us know that that's the safest thing to do but
instead he kicked that guy in the head and that guy was drunk he could have killed that guy even
though that guy was a douchebag like i would i would explain it like this when you're a professional
fighter you can do anything you want right like it if, I've rolled with Joe a bunch of times.
Just about everything that happens is whatever Joe chose to happen.
So Cerrone just, like, he had, like I was saying,
he had every option at his fingertips,
and he decided to hurt that guy.
He's like the cop who shoots the drunk guy
instead of tasing him first or something.
So, whoa, whoa, you shot him first?
Like, goddamn. Like, you could have whooped him with a stick or pepper sprayed him or or tased him or
just asked him to leave politely maybe like you went straight to the nine okay and that's what
cowboy did that was kind of a douche move but anyway cowboy's a badass he comes to fight he's
always ready to fight which i admire and he's always willing to fight which i really admire
because you know after after this loss that he that he received the other night he was like get it back in there he said balls
let give me give again so first round lawler comes after serone like a bat out of hell he's
pressuring this guy all the fuck over him and i was like oh man cowboy's taking a beating right
away immediately cowboy's eyes swollen up and it seemed like robbie had i don't know if this was
his plan but it seemed like he it was going to round one and destroy burn it burn it burn it
like you know all your energy take round two off coast coast because he's gonna want to recover
while he's recovering you coast and then round three fuck him up again that's what it felt like
i don't know if that's his plan he's's a championship level fighter. He can do five rounds of cardio, so it didn't make a ton of sense for
him not to just press for three rounds, but maybe he can't at that kind of tempo, but God, he
pressed him so fucking hard. Round two, Cerrone doesn't coast, though. He throws a lot of good
kicks. He pressures Cerrone back, I mean Lawler back, and I think he wins round two, and round
three was a lot closer, I think, than Lawler would hope it was, I think the strikes was like 36 to 34 significant strikes,
he won, so round three was very close, I thought that was an excellent fight, and that's a perfect
example of, Tyron should look at that, and be like, that's how you get rich, that's how you
get the money fight, like, nobody's looking at Cowboy Cerrone on Monday morning and going,
ah, he lost, what a pussy.
No, they're looking at Tyrone and Tyrone is saying that.
They're like, I won, but I don't want to see that.
It's exactly what Dana said.
It's entertainment, and Tyrone's not entertaining, but Cowboy is.
I'll pay to see Cowboy before I will Tyrone.
Tyrone, it looks like
his takedown defense is even higher
than what Woody thought.
He's number one all time.
97.6%.
He had a good weekend.
It might have been 90 before 24 in a row.
What would it be? Do you see the two?
Can you do the math and subtract 24?
It just says him compared to other fighters.
The next guy up is
renan burrow it's 97.1 then john jones at 95 he was already second on time so he did get to first
because a reporter asked him um a week ago you know do you think maya will take you down even
once and he was like oh yeah i think he'll take me down at least once but you got to keep in mind
i'm uh i'm number two all time in takedown defense,
and number one is a welterweight.
And so I guess he climbed on up the ladder, got himself another award or record.
But he's won no fans from that, lost some I'm sure.
And the biggest thing is it seems like either Dana White's playing some games
or he's real upset with him.
And Tyron comes out today and says, Dana White better give me a fucking public apology or I'm going to start leaking some shit.
And they're like, whoa, what are you referring to?
He knows what I'm referring to.
Silly drama.
I read on Reddit that Dana buckled,
but I have no idea if Dana buckled, what buckled.
Or maybe it's not even true.
I mean, it's Reddit comments, right?
Based on four hours ago, it says,
Dana White, Tyron Woodley and I spoke.
We're cool now from TMZ.
So they wouldn't lie.
He tells lies like that, though.
He'll just tell you a lie like that, and then the fighter will be like,
I haven't seen him in months.
And now he looks like the assholes.
He's like, oh, so you're reigniting the feud.
You're like, no, he never made good.
He's fucking me.
Well, according to him, this has all been squashed.
What is it this time?
God damn it, he fucked me.
It's the same time.
So what do you mean this time god damn it it's the same time this is what he means this time he just yeah dana white
lies like lies lies on about important things and and like demonstrably provable false things
and it was like oh yeah yeah we we talked we worked it all out we met and this guy's like
i've been in belgium we didn't meet i didn't go there. You know, like all of this is true.
I was simply removed from that meeting.
How could he say that?
It broke me away.
But, yeah, Cerrone's a total badass.
Lawler's a totally badass.
I can't wait for the Lawler-Woodley fight.
I will watch that, but not because of Woodley.
I just want to see Woodley get knocked the fuck out.
Yeah, he'll get his ass whipped again for a second time.
Fucking Lawler's a badass. No, he won't. Go Woodley. He's got it. No, you're right. He'll get his ass whipped again for a second time.
Lawler's a bad guy.
No, he won't.
Go Woodley.
He's got it. No, you're right.
Lawler was the champ, and Woodley took it from him.
That's right.
You're right.
That's true.
I don't know if they met another time.
Yeah, they did.
You're right.
I had it backwards.
So then the fight of the night comes.
This thing with so much emotional baggage and so much buildup and so
much riding on it we got the best donald cormier i think we've ever seen he looked thin and mean
or you know he was making his angry face like before he was he was running around there doing
his labs getting warmed up and uh he looked better than he's ever looked his physique looked
excellent the problem was john jones looked better than he's ever looked i just zeke wise
oh i was gonna say i going to agree with you.
I thought he was thinner.
I thought he was a little skinnier.
I thought he looked good.
Oh, he definitely is.
He lost some muscle.
He did lose some muscle.
He said that was better or maybe that, you know, who knows.
But I thought he looked like a great version of himself.
I'm not sure if he was.
I don't know what we saw.
I don't know how to equate what I saw
because I feel like I saw Daniel Cormier winning for a long time
and really pressing the action
and then getting too overconfident and getting predictable.
Did you see them predict that like a year ago?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Jon Jones is like, he's got some tells.
He's got some holes in his game.
And DC is like, what?
I know what you're talking about.
That's an obvious one.
Trust me, that'll be fixed before the fight.
And Jones is like, I'm not going to let you know which one I'm talking about.
And DC is like, if you tell me, I'll tell you if you have it right
or I might have that backwards.
Anyway, it comes out, and he's like, you're not going to catch me with a left high kick as I duck right or whatever it is.
He's like, it's obvious.
I know it.
Trust me.
That'll be worked out in my game before we fight.
It won't be there.
Good luck.
And Jones is like, all right, well, then we'll see.
And that is exactly how he beat him with that high kick to the head from that.
He spent the first two rounds, it felt like to me,
was some Jones striking with his hands, a couple elbows.
But really, it was a lot of oblique kicks, a lot of those T kicks,
like straight push you and get the fuck away from me kicks.
No eye pokes.
He was getting pressure too much daniel's dirty boxing
excellent it seemed like in round one he gets him in the clinch and it's just uppercut uppercut just
and and that came out of a counter it's i think john like john struck first and uh instead of
like getting distance he he gets in the clinch and then just gets two solid uppercuts in and then follows him.
He doesn't break away.
He's just really crowding him, getting into his own range, which you have to do on a guy with a 12-inch reach advantage.
It was impressive.
Daniel had a great game plan.
Then he gets kicked in the head, and he wobbles, and he bobbles.
Nobody's ever finished Daniel Cormier, and he's never been knocked out.
He's twirling around, and's like oh my god i'm like i'm sure he's thinking where's the clock yet trying to
fight him but and jones does something really heads up and really interesting i've heard other
people say this i'm just parroting what they said but he doesn't go in with his hands and keep going
to the body and the head like a lot of people would he throws this really quick accurate trip
he just kicks daniel's
leg out from from him as he's stumbling daniel hits the mat and hits the cage he uh he throws
a round kick gets him to the mat and then these left start coming on onto daniel's temple maybe
five six too many it was a pounding on the side of his fucking head i it was it was maybe too many like kyle said but i like that they do this
oftentimes when a belt's on the line they let a couple extra they give the champ a chance or even
the challenger they give these guys a chance to work it out so at first cormier was trying to sit
up you could see he was doing stuff and and then he took a good like three unanswered heavy blows
and the ref was like, you're done.
And I bet a lot of fighters would be like, yeah.
I don't mind that when the belt's on the line, they give these guys a chance to come back.
I watched the gif of the final part of the fight where you know jones was raining down those those punches on him
and as someone who doesn't know as much about the sport i thought i if you guys didn't mention that
he took too many i wouldn't have noticed the only time i noticed the shit is when i see somebody
getting hit and their hands are still up and the guy jumps in too quick like as a novice i think
that's what you're more likely to pick up than when when I saw him getting his ass beat Cormier Cormier I was like his arm was still up kind of and so I'm like okay
Maybe he's still semi with it who knows but I didn't even notice it was that bad
It was definitely three or four too many
I think I said five or six, but it's definitely three or four like like I don't know
There's a point where like you see like two of them land clean and his arms don't do anything else after that
And it's like I don't know I else after that. And it's like,
I don't know.
I,
I,
I know he's out like,
like,
like,
like I can just imagining he's always going down dizzy and foggy.
And then the first one is just foggier.
And the second one's lights out.
It has to be.
Sometimes you see the guy like doing a pushup,
trying to recover while getting drilled in the head.
And it's like,
push,
push down,
down.
And then,
you know,
nothing good
happens after that you know it only gets more brutal oh i saw that thing about the interview
afterward where uh joe rogan interviewed the guy i couldn't find a good clip of it it just seemed
like the oh he didn't he wasn't even answering he was just like crying and clearly uncomfortable
and he's the new crybaby man
remember Jamie Foxx was talking about how like millennials think of
Michael Jordan
as the crybaby man
Daniel Cormier could become the new crybaby man
I felt for him so much you could tell
this meant so much
I saw it all
he looked distraught and then I saw the clip with Joe
going like
I feel horrible about it.
I've said for so long that I wouldn't interview people
right after they got knocked out,
and then I fucked up and did it anyway.
And it's like, yeah, that makes sense.
You probably shouldn't interview people
when they're not even lucid
and they have no idea what's happening.
But also, it's like, how did you not notice?
Like, the guy was clearly getting the shit kicked out of him,
and you walk over and like
yeah how'd you like that fight and he's just
well he thought it was like yeah he didn't know he was he was very upset you know there's that
part where the where big john's holding each fighter's hand and they're about to announce
who wins so he can raise john's hand and everything and daniel's just like fucking get off me fuck off
and they're all like, what?
And John is like, is he disrespecting me
right now? Is he not wanting to give me
my moment?
Is that what this is? And he's a little distraught.
But what it is is Daniel thinks the fight was ended
way too early. He doesn't remember
the head kick. He doesn't know what happened.
But he's just like, I'm here now. What the fuck?
And he's mad at everyone.
How dare you stop this fight?
I'm ready to go.
If they hadn't stopped that fight, he was going to die.
Yeah.
And then he saw that.
And then he talked to Joe.
He was so sad.
He was so sad.
He saw himself get knocked out?
Yeah, they did a replay on the big screen.
And then he saw what happened.
And now his barely working reptile mind is like, oh, shit.
I just lost.
For years, he's wanted to beat this guy.
It was a good guy versus bad.
I was sad.
I woke up the next day like something horrible in the world had happened.
You know? I wake up and I'm like oh what is this dread what was there a tragedy there was there was a
tragedy there's something terrible happened in the same year john jones beat dc and the Penguins won a cup. Fuck those things.
Equally horrible to you.
That was very
impressive. Then, of course, he calls out Brock
Lesnar. And drop
the mic. I loved it. Maybe you didn't
love it, but he's like, Brock Lesnar,
you want to see what it's like to get your ass kicked by
a guy 40 pounds lighter than you?
Meet me in the octagon.
And it was just like, that was awesome.
I'll put a crisp 50 on Mr. Lesnar in that fight.
I'll take that bet.
I'll take that bet.
I don't know where to bet on that one.
Are they going to allow that fight to happen even though he's 40 or 50 pounds lighter?
No, they'll absolutely allow it to happen.
They won't allow it because he's on steroids and he's still suspended.
He has to, yeah, that's what Dana said.
He's like, well, he's got to go through six months of USADA first, right?
You know, like, what are we talking about?
Is his suspension over from the last time when he fought Mark Hunt?
Like, right into the kills?
The last time he cheated?
Yeah.
Which is every time he's fought.
Brock Lesnar is like one of those corporations that's so big, they're like, we'll pay the fine, whatever.
Fill us in.
Do it.
All right. Yeah, I'm cheating.
What's the tab?
I'm running short on time.
I've got to beat up another giant at noon.
I feel like he's just such a giant human being that someone will approach him and be like,
Brock, Brock, you're cheating again.
And he's like, you know, that's a really interesting point,
but nobody's ever made a compelling case to me about why I shouldn't do it. they're like you know what uh mr lesnar i'm not gonna try and convince you i
trust you know your health and like there's just no way that people could compellingly bully brock
lesnar into not doing that he's too scary he's like that sword tattoo on his chest would look
so stupid on 99 of people out on 99.9,
everyone,
whatever the percentage is of people who is not Brock Lesnar,
like put that on most other fighters chests.
And there you'll be like,
okay,
Mr.
Kickboxer,
you're real tough,
aren't you?
But with him,
like you think maybe he did like fight for the Scottish or something.
Like,
I don't know.
Like he's a scary man.
His hands are unsettlingly large
yeah like doesn't he have to wear like 6xl gloves or something because he's just swinging gloves
like cooked hands at people like that's what it is they had to make him special gloves because
he's so goddamn big it's absurd but uh but i've watched john joe i think john jones can handle
that like brock is pretty unskilled he's gonna try to take him down and and i think john can stay away from plus john
will get big for that fight and john's wrestling is really good right yeah i'll get big for that
not that john can out wrestle rel esner that's just crazy talk but you know like you'll see
he'll see lesser shots coming we just watched Woodley take out the best ground fighter in the history of the UFC
because it's easier to deny it than to make it happen.
And yeah, he's bigger too.
Woodley's 5'9", and Maia's 6 feet.
Larger man.
I mean, it's not just dramatic.
It's Brock Lesnar, Jon Jones.
I don't know how tall Brock is.
Jon's 6'4", so with incredible reach.
Just a completely different shaped individual. It'd be a fun fight
to watch. A bit of a freak fight.
I'll watch it. I'll buy it.
I'll watch that one, yeah.
There's a big freak fight set up for, and that's one of them.
But I think Amanda Nunez
needs to step on up to 145 and get herself
a second belt. I think Jones is going to fight Gustafsson
or Gustafson.
I think that'll happen again because you can't wait for Brock.
That'll be over a year from now or so.
Or Rumble.
Rumble will come back for Jones.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, I could see that too.
So Jones will fight one of them before Lesnar and hopefully still have the belt so we can see the Lesnar fight.
And then Nunez, oh, I want to see her fight Cyborg.
But that has less chance of happening than the Brock fight, I think. Fuck her up. I would put my money on Nunez, oh, I want to see her fight Cyborg, but that has less chance of happening than the Brock fight, I think.
Fuck her up.
I would put my money on Nunez in a heartbeat.
She's a black belt on the ground, too,
in addition to that outrageous striking.
I'd have to go with her.
Plus, I don't hate Nunez.
I don't.
I have nothing against Nunez whatsoever.
I don't even hate her.
Ah, not a bit.
There's no positives for her but
there's no negatives either she she just handles her business and uh there is a negative she pulled
out of her last fight i was okay with that um that that sinusitis thing like like that seems
legit to me okay i believe that when i go to vegas my nose bleeds i can't imagine like the doctors
couldn't find anything wrong with her and she pulled out of a fight so there are a lot of people who were like did
she pull out cuz she knew she was gonna fail a drug test did she pull out cuz
she just didn't feel like the best version of her and now she's like
cautiously like Jose Aldo used to do that he pulled out of five title fights
he pulled out of one against Connor because anytime the guy wasn't like a
million percent he's like got too sick to fight you know Connor going in there like, you don't need a thumb to fight.
Ah, torn ACL?
I could beat this guy on one leg.
You know, he fucking comes to fight all the time.
Jose doesn't.
And now Nunez, I guess, doesn't also.
I'm not going that far yet.
She's coming next week, right?
Like the next event they're fighting.
So, like, I'm okay with it.
They just kicked it down the road
a couple of events.
It's going to be a really good fight
because Shevchenko's...
I've been wanting to see that for a while.
I think I watched their first fight, maybe.
Yeah, I think I did.
I like that.
That'll be good.
I thought that was an excellent UFC card
despite the super boring Tyrone Woodley shit
and what was the least qualified five-round fighter I've ever seen.
And I felt for her.
It seemed like they – it was like they tried to feed –
yeah, a little.
She was doughy.
It was like they tried to feed the goat to the T-Rex,
and it, like, took the T-rex far too long to kill the
goat and the goat got a few licks in that's what it was like it was like as i thought she was way
too fat i thought it's a defective t-rex you guys got belly hanging out it's like it was a little
fighters it was a little flabby it definitely was she she didn't look good she didn't look like a
professional fighter than her um yeah yeah yeah maybe so yeah yeah i don't
know how the fuck should i know yeah right but i'm like i don't know last night you're pretty
tight bro thanks kyle so uh rick and morty's back on kyle i want some judgment from you
were you right or were you wrong i was wrong i was wrong and i'm pleasantly surprised that i was
wrong um they aired the fucking episodes back to back and i'm pleasantly surprised that i was wrong um they aired the
fucking episodes back to back and i guess that's a that's a a median solution that i didn't even
consider to me it was a binary uh decision it was either waste your money or don't waste your money
but they seemed like they were like ah just make it a rick and morty night and then throw it up on
the network and like let's get the buzz going um it seems like they got all their ad revenue by
playing it back to back anyway and was the second episode really good i haven't seen it yet you
haven't fucking seen it how could you not yet but it wasn't mind-blowing like i i didn't i don't
feel like you have to watch it four times to find all the subtleties in the plot and like the
mysterious workings of the uh unlimited universes and all that it was really just um is it a secret
at all this one was called rick mancing the stone and it's uh it's sort of uh mad max
esque they go to a you know a reality where that is the case on earth and uh so they kind of hang
out in this mad mass mad max world instead of going home and dealing with the fact that
Jerry is divorcing their mother and moving out
and is a total fucking loser
and Jerry keeps having these really sad
moments where he's like by his U-Haul
all alone and the wind blows
and it goes, loser
and he goes, what?
it's just
it's a real downer for Jerry
he's one of those characters where they're just so pathetic that it makes me sad.
You know, like, they're such losers.
Like, there are so many clips of, like, just clearly, like, wife doesn't respect him at all.
Children think he's a fucking idiot.
Like, no middle ground.
Not like, well, you know, sometimes dad knows what's best.
You know, it's like, no, no, never that.
It's like Andy in The Office.
He made me feel like that because he was such a pathetic loser who nobody respected.
And everybody kind of smirked at him.
Andy Bernard.
Oh, thank you.
The guy who would just start to.
He's in Parks and Rec and I can't reconcile this.
Okay, carry on
like he's the he would just he's the guy who would just like start singing falsetto in the office
where he just do and that oh just thinking about it makes my skin crawl it's so uncomfortable
but yeah do you guys get that feeling from him like of jerry of like you he's so such a loser
it's not even likable loser it's like oh you're just
uncomfortable yeah i think that's the point and like morty had that point remember what morty
does in this episode he has this like breaking point where he goes into a rage and he like he's
like saying what he wants to say to his dad he's like why can't you just either leave or say you
want to stay and be a man and he's just freaking the fuck out on this so he like does some crazy
shit morty kills a lot of people this episode he's a real murderer that's become a trend yeah he's killed more and more as
the show goes on this time yeah yeah morty morty and his sister um murder quite a lot in this
episode just lots of murder um i i love rick he's such a nihilist you know there's this part where
like you don't know if some summer's's walking off to do her own thing,
and he's got his portal ready to go, and Morty's like,
I don't know, Rick.
Morty, you've got to get my sister.
You can't just leave her here, Rick.
And he's like, there are infinite versions of your sister, Morty.
Let's just roll.
He's like, and she's walking off.
It's great.
It's great.
I loved all the murdering she did.
That part at the end.
I'm not going to spoil.
That would be a spoiler for Taylor.
That actually is.
That'll mess up the joke.
But I thought it was a good episode, but not a great episode, I guess, to answer your original question.
It wasn't amazing.
You're right.
It wasn't so deep that it requires multiple viewings.
And I did watch it twice, but I didn't find any subtext or anything hidden there.
I find for a cartoon rick and
morty is so complicated i'll need to watch it more than once and i'm sure there's some genius
out there who thinks i'm a fool but say what you will i it takes me a couple times and there's
callbacks and there's complexities and there's like oh remember this thing you know the the
theories about how that's the different morty and who's not from C-134 or whatever?
I don't think this episode contained any of those details.
Yeah, the only thing was...
There was like one...
I guess it really delved deep into their emotional problems.
That was the darkness of the show.
Everybody's really fucked up emotionally right now.
Both kids are going through their father's divorce and the dad is all fucking crazy um there there were a lot of weird kind of it wasn't that there were like uh moments of intrigue
that you needed to to figure out an equation to solve it was more like there were a couple of
just really dark moments in the show you know just really dark stuff
I thought that those robot children
that was really dark
I thought that some of those
murders Morty committed like maybe
the last one in particular was just real
fucking dark
remember like
Morty
yeah I guess
I just love killing
I just love killing.
I just love killing.
Women, babies, whatever.
Women, children, I just love killing.
So yeah, it was a good episode, but not a great episode, I guess.
But I'm glad it's back, and I'm glad they started out, and I was wrong,
and they started out giving us both episodes or whatever.
That was cool.
Yeah.
And Game of Thrones happened.
I liked this episode quite a bit.
We finally got fucking Jon Snow and Dany on the screen together and they
kept them on screen together for like 15
minutes or something. Was that good?
I liked their initial little conversation
where it was like
Daenerys having
whatever the hell that uh slave girl's
name is or ex-former slave uh she probably couldn't quit if she wanted to but you know
leave that for the weeds yeah right like right away she's like uh Daenerys Stormborn of the
house Targaryen first of her name lord of the grasslands and whatever the hell and then burnt the breaker of chains the
brother of dragons this is john snow king in the north yeah then he's like a little more he's like
king of the north nope there's nothing more than king of the north for us he's someone like i like
that a lot because it was basically kind of hammering home like the differences in what kind of leaders
they were one of them is a leader that is carried by their name and the fact that they fell ass
backwards into a pile of dragons like one of those claw machines at a bowling alley she just
whoops it looks like i've got dragons now like that's the way she got her power and since then
she's just been not in the most intelligent way
parlaying her, you know, her tokens
and redeeming them across the slave cities
and trying to get to Westeros.
Jon, on the other hand, does not have the name benefit.
As a matter of fact, it's the opposite.
He's a bastard.
And number two, he has no real claim to the throne
as far as anybody's aware in that point in time.
And three, he got his position
not because he fell ass-backwards into the dragons
and had the Targaryen name.
He got it because he was the fucking best person
for the job at the Wall,
and everybody loved him and trusted him.
You know, it's like...
For a bit.
It was a real juxtaposition
of the different kinds of leaders.
Of Jon, the person pushed up by their people,
you know, like really a grassroots kind of leader,
and then Daenerys,
who's almost a pretend grassroots leader
with the Targaryen name and the dragons.
Maybe that's not what they meant.
So the Khaleesi is kind of a Hillary Clinton type character
and Jon Snow is more of a Bernie Sanders,
like pull yourself up from your bootstraps
to socialism.
Well, both of those characters are much, much better
than either of those politicians.
I like them much more.
You know, Jon Snow didn't go, didn't walk in there and go, Both of those characters are much, much better than either of those politicians. I like them much more.
Jon Snow didn't walk in there and go,
I need every bit of dragonglass that you have in this whole place,
and I'm going to need you to pay me to take it.
It's like, no, he didn't do that.
That's funny.
That's the way I kind of saw that scene. Did you guys get a different feel?
Did you notice a bit of foreshadowing there?
At least I think I did.
As they're walking up that curvy staircase
to Dragonstone, Jon Snow, and Tyrion
with the rest in tow,
he says something like,
yes, it's true,
Stark men don't fare well when they travel
north or south.
And he's like, but I'm not a Stark.
And then the fucking dragon swoops in
right as he says that on cue. Keep in mind, everyone, he's a, but I'm not a Stark. And then the fucking dragon swoops in right as he says that on cue.
Like a little, you know, keep in mind, everyone, he's a fucking Targaryen.
Don't forget, that's his dragon that's flying.
Yep.
Because he's totally going to ride the dragon named after his dad, right?
Of course.
Viserion or whatever its name is.
Yeah.
No, that's not.
Viserion is the one named for Dany's brother.
Yeah, that's his dad.
That's his dad.
So that's Jon Snow's dad.
So help me because I'm confused.
I thought Rhaegon was Jon Snow's dad.
It is.
And the name of the dragon.
Okay, Rhaegar?
Rhaegar is the guy's name.
Rhaegon was the dragon's name.
Viserion is the dragon's name.
She adds in because it's a dragon.
This is a fan theory I haven't heard until just now.
I got it.
I just figured it out.
I just figured it out.
She named one of them after Drogo, right?
And he's Drogon.
You just got this?
Yes.
Yes.
Well, I knew there were names after him.
Actually, I didn't know this either.
I knew there were names after him. there were i don't like the name
drogon because it's just dragon with an o yeah like like i i knew the names were were named after
drogo and her two brothers viserys and uh fucking what's the what's what's your dog
but but i guess i never clicked that she was adding the O-N, uh, like to the end of
the word to, to indicate dragon.
Like, like that never clicked to me, I guess.
I, I, it does now.
That makes a lot of sense.
But yeah, I think that that's what's going to happen.
So you're going to have the Khaleesi riding Drogon, as she always liked to do.
You're going to have Jon Snow riding Rhaegar
and then I think Tyrion hops on
Viserion. You know why I think you're wrong?
I think these dragons are
going to drop a lot faster when
they enter battle
than you're giving them credit for.
You think death or wounded? Death.
I think
that every time two or three dragons
go into battle, one or two leave
I think that there's
0% chance before the end of the series
that Drogon the big dragon dies
because like if the
big dragon dies like then they
have to be like alright Daenerys
we're gonna have to rely on your military
expertise to win this battle now
and they're gonna go oh oh no
like does anybody know military strategy? Grey Worm do you know on your military expertise in this battle now. And they're going to go, oh, oh, no.
Like, does anybody know military strategy?
Grey Worm,
do you know military strategy?
I mostly was taught
to fight with a spear
and no pants on.
It's like, oh, damn.
Like, I really shouldn't
have sent my advisors away.
Like, that won't happen.
But the little dragons,
at least one of them will die.
Guaranteed.
Yeah, yeah.
I think Viseron dies if we're going to take guesses.
Why not?
I think they all die.
I hope that Viserion and Rhaegon die.
We'll see.
But I think they'll serve their purpose before they die.
I think that's the caveat, in my opinion, is that these will not be useless dragons.
There may be some dragons that die in a useless way or whatever,
but some dragons at some point are going to rain fucking fire down
on a lot of people and or dead men at the same time.
It's going to be great.
I would do if I lived in this age and I was against Daenerys,
no one's thought of this,
and I would have won the war single-handed.
I would have had to charge for it.
Basically, what you do is you take a whole herd of cattle
that are going to be close to where the dragons are,
and you poison them.
You get all of the cattle poisoned as fuck,
or just tape a goddamn plastic bag full of poison next to it.
The dragon's not analyzing everything. He's just roasting
it and then eating it. That's what you do.
You just let the dragon eat itself to death
on venom. Or not venom.
On poison. Isn't that
a good idea? Maybe you just feed
wildfire
to a cow. You know how horses have those
bags for storage? They just
drape over their back and on either side
you can store a pack mule? just put those on all over the cows just arsenic
just pounds of arsenic on there i think it's a great idea okay yeah well you want to here's what
wasn't a great idea whoever wrote the fucking queen's revenge because that was lame as shit
i was sitting there like oh my god's going to be so hard to watch.
And she's like, oh, I
poisoned her. It'll be painless
and you'll have to watch.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
I thought of three things worse than that while we were
sitting here. Like, what is this?
I didn't realize she was behind...
I thought Peter Bollish was behind
Joffrey's death all this time.
There was a big conspiracy.
Oh, Peter Bolas.
There was a whole conspiracy involved in it, but
Olenna was the one who takes the thing
and drops it in the cup.
Okay.
It was on Sansa's necklace. She comes over to Sansa.
Oh, this is so pretty. Blah, blah, blah.
Boink. Hits the poison, and then she goes over
and drops it in the cup.
The reason that it was so horrible...
Littlefinger was part of the conspiracy
to get Sansa
taken away
in the night.
He was conspiring with Olenna to make the whole thing happen,
but the conspiracy involved... No one really
explained who gave the necklace
to the knight who was the fool,
but I think it was Baelish.
Baelish tells the foolish knight
that Sansa saved this foolish knight's life.
He shows up late to a...
Okay, you remember that.
Drunk, and they were going to kill him,
but she says,
ah, no, worst fate is to make him your fool.
Spare him, and they do.
And so that guy's very thankful.
Peter gives that guy the poison necklace,
says give this to Sansa.
He gives it to Sansa.
Oh, this is the last valuable thing my family has.
You take it.
She takes it. So then there's poison there at the wedding. Oh, this is the last valuable thing my family has. You take it. She takes it.
So then there's poison there at the wedding.
Olenna is in on all of this with Peter.
It's probably her master plan.
There was a part, if you can really think back,
it's right when, like, I think they stormed maybe Peter Baelish's brothel or something.
I hope this doesn't predate that.
But it seems like Olenna and Peter were conspiring together.
I think there's a scene where that happens.
I liked the ending more than you.
So Game of Thrones historically punishes mercy, right?
They punish bad decisions.
Bad things happen to main characters because they go too soft.
That's a thing.
And Jaime was like, hey, I talked Cersei out of all these horrible deaths you could have had
I decided that you should have this
nice queen's
like you know fitting painless
death and then
she verbally
stabs him with the I killed your son
I want Cersei to know that I did this
and that and it's like aha
yes punish the
mercy that's what Game of Thrones does and I thought that was that I did this and that. And it's like, aha, yes. Punish the mercy.
That's what Game of Thrones does.
And I thought that was cool.
What I didn't like about the episode was
when they took Casterly Rock,
it was a very weak battle scene.
Just a little montage and we called it good.
And then when they took Highgarden,
it was worse.
All he did is stroll in
and they didn't show any battle at all.
But I'm told that next week
the battle makes Battle
of the Bastards look weak. It looks
lame. You know what?
I haven't seen any previews. I try
to stay away from that stuff, but my
thoughts were the next thing has to be
Eastwatch, and at
Eastwatch, you've got the Wildlings
versus the Army of Dead, and
perhaps the Hound has the Army of Dead and perhaps, perhaps the
Hound has made it there and certainly
Arya will be part of this episode as well.
The little
tidbit that I noticed
that I watched a couple videos
after the fact and no one else seemed to notice
it either is that with the Lannister
army that is taking Highgarden
is Samwell Tarly's father.
He's joined with them in the Redwood lands.
And they had discussed that previously.
You know,
Jaime had went to him and they had
discussed this, but he was like, I've known Olenna
since I was a child, you know, etc.
And it seemed like he was going to side with Olenna,
but here you see him out there riding right
next to Bronn in the
formation. I walked away thinking
he decided to join Jamie.
I can't remember.
He did.
That's what I was saying.
I know.
But what you said was it seemed like during the conversation with Jamie
he wasn't going to go for it, but it turned out he did.
And I remembered that he was going to go for it,
and it turned out he did.
I forget what the tipping was for me.
The poisoning that I was talking about earlier that I thought was lame,
though, was what happened to the Sand Snakes.
You know, what happened to Marcella.
This is why I think you're wrong with that, Kyle.
You were saying it wasn't intense enough.
You're going to renege on that in like two episodes, I bet, and say this is way more hardcore than I anticipated.
Because all she did, she isn't just leaving her there to watch her daughter die painlessly.
than I anticipated because all she did,
she isn't just leaving her there to watch her daughter die painlessly. She's
going to keep her alive and
have her sit there as she just rots.
We're going to come back in like three episodes and
she's going to be, you know, skin
falling off and bones showing
and she just has to sit there and watch her own daughter
rot as she can't do
anything. Like it's going to be psychological warfare
that's so intense.
The daughter's going to die within a week and she's going gonna watch her corpse rot yes the daughter's not gonna rot alive
no no the daughter's gonna die you said you're gonna keep her alive and she'll have to watch
her no they're gonna keep the mother alive keep the mother alive yes and then she's just forced
to be there while her only living daughter her now no living daughters is just rotting stinking
festering bugs eating her
flesh yeah good to know that we're keeping the queen of a country who hates our fucking guts
captive somewhere in our house i'm sure she won't get loose at some point yeah that she might get
punished for some she might get punished for that seriously that is that might be a fire on her yeah
should have taken care of that cold bitch she like she is up
there in like the she's definitely in the discussion for the most evil character in the
show was anyone worried for jamie or was anyone worried for jamie when she like just had wiped
that deadly poison off her lips and she sucked his cock yeah and she kissed him too and i i wasn't sure if like if we were meant to think that was safe
or not yeah yeah i think we were meant to think people like are very very blasé with their poison
use in this world where you know there's like cersei do you want to put it on like right before
you kiss her no i'm going to put it on 20 minutes prior and then give a speech.
If I accidentally lipped my lips, then I deserve it, don't I?
You know, like that.
Or maybe feed her
a little piece of lipstick. Nobody's there
watching.
They really telegraphed that one.
I saw that one coming.
Yeah, because her lips,
she never wears that shade of lipstick.
I noticed. It was like, her lips are awfully red.
Something about the way she spoke showed her teeth more.
And I don't know, it was almost like she was trying not to lick her lips or something.
Do you remember the way my son died?
She'd be like, are you a poison on your lips?
No.
The very prospect of that is laughable.
No, no.
Maybe Trump has poison on his lips.
That's right.
If I had poison on my lips, that's the way I would talk.
Scaramucci.
Trying to hide it.
This was my favorite measure of the whole Scaramucci come and go thing.
If you had bought milk when he was hired, it would have still been okay to drink when he quit.
That's funny.
I don't know if there's more Game of Thrones talk.
I feel like we finished it.
Honestly, I don't know who Scaramucci is because I didn't follow politics for that week.
Right?
Ten days?
Did he replace Sean Spicer? He was the new Spicer. because I didn't follow politics for that week. Yeah, right? 10 days?
Did he replace Sean Spicer?
He was the new Spicer.
So he came in there, and on day one, I thought this guy was good.
I was wrong, but I thought this guy was good.
He came in there with a kind of New York swagger and gravitas.
That's what he has.
So when he talked to Jake Tapper, when he talked to these guys,
he was like an equal with them. he didn't get pushed around spicer
was always like trying to dodge and like look i don't know what to tell you i just didn't talk
to the president about that there's nothing i can do for you that scaramucci was going head to head
with this guy and i can like man and and trump was like i know all the best people i'm gonna hire the
best people he's something he said a lot and i was like this is the i bet like is this the particular
guy he was talking about scaramucci's been setting up this job for six months selling his business
and such so that he could do it and he had this swagger and this gravitas and um i thought he was
a bit of a sycophant and he kissed trump's ass too much there was some king Jong-un stuff going on. He's like, this guy hits home runs.
He sinks three-foot putts.
I've seen him throw a football through a tire.
He's a competitive winner.
He nails basketball shots from the top of the key, like three-point range.
Did he say these things?
Yes.
No, these are literally things.
Yes, he did.
These were metaphors.
He didn't really say these things.
He said these things.
Did he mean metaphorically?
People wildly underestimate my hook shot.
Ask anyone.
He was talking about his athletic craft.
It reminded me of the King Jong Il, I think, the first one.
Apparently, he played golf the first time.
18 strokes, 18 holes.
Never played again because it bored him.
That's the kind of thing.
And I'm like, oh, my God god the comparisons here seem so clear to me and uh but more than that like he said some other
stuff too that was actually true like do you know anyone else on the planet who could enter politics
one year ago and become president like this guy is a winner and it's like well scores posted on
that you gotta accept that that happened. That's actually, yeah.
That's pretty true.
Okay, there's a completely isolated true thing you said.
Now let's get back to what he's doing.
That's fair.
Okay, that was last year.
That's over now. He was kind of saying, like, this is the most amazing man you'll ever see.
He's got a great foul shot, uh you know he became president in one
year you stick back you watch this is going to be amazing he's pumping him up and i'm like you know
what give trump is due he did win the presidency scarmucci's crushing it he got this new guy in
here there's a new swagger to the white house and then he called this guy i think he's on the
washington post i'm not sure and because he's new to this job he doesn't understand the was on the Washington Post. I'm not sure. And because he's new to this job, he doesn't understand the whole on the record, off the record thing.
And he's like, you know, tell me who your fucking source is.
He wants to know who the leaker is in the White House.
So he's calling reporters and berating them.
He's like, tell me your fucking source.
You know, look, man.
He's like, I'm not like Reince Penis.
I'm not trying to.
His name is Prebys or something like that.
You know, I'm not trying to get famous. I'm not like steve bannon i'm not sitting in the white house trying to suck my
own cock this is what he's saying to the reporter so that this comes out the next day and it
dominates the headlines for some period of time it's all they talk about a few days later he's
fired now mind you the things that he did to get this job, he sold his $180 million business to get this job.
Did he miss the birth of his child to get this job?
Did that just happen or did that happen before?
His wife divorced him over this job, said his naked political ambition and love of Trump.
His wife fired divorce papers.
And then this is all in like 10 days.
And then he gets fired.
I mean, the divorce papers haven't even had time to go through.
At this point, just be like, honey, do we still want a divorce?
She's like, well, I guess the whole problem kind of solved itself, didn't it?
I also heard, do you know he was like a max contributor to Obama's campaign in 08?
I didn't know that.
He's a Democrat donor.
And that's what confused me about Trump picking him. in 08. I didn't know that. He's a Democrat donor. And then it's like,
that's what confused me about
Trump picking him.
I'm more similar to Kyle's boat for this
last 10 days of political news
than yours. I didn't follow it too closely.
But he,
God, those
sports analogies were uncomfortable.
And the cock comment
was hilarious.
And so I was – honestly, I was a big fan of that.
Like when I saw that, I was like, man, I really hope this guy sticks around.
What did he suck around?
And he became foul-mouthed but at the podium.
Like, all right, cocksuckers, let's hear it.
Come on.
My favorite was this.
They're like – there were two reporters talking, I forget which,
and they're like, if Steve Bannon could do that,
then he'd never leave his office.
And another guy goes, well, how often do you see Steve Bannon?
That's the conversation they're having.
Like, maybe he can suck his own cock because he's really not doing a lot.
He really isn't around the West Wing too often.
It was great.
It was great. And did they
replace Scarmucci yet? I don't think they did.
I
wouldn't know.
And then they replaced
Reince Priebus, who was the chief
of staff. The chief of staff did the most
important job.
That's Leo. If it was the west wing that's leo
that's an important position it seems like like the west wing is my is the is is the firmest
grasp on our political system that i have you watch six or seven seasons of that shit you know
how it works the thing is i don't know that previous was doing a good job like it he was
kind of set up to fail because a lot of people didn't work for him like avaca
didn't work for him they all reported straight to donald so yeah so he's kind of set up to fail
in that regard bannon didn't work for him and um so yeah they're working against him but you know
what that i think most people agree that the first six months of the trump presidency has been very
very bad yeah he hasn't had any major accomplishments.
And not just people who look at him through the blue lens, but a lot of people, more than half
people think that Trump is not off to a good start, that he's failing, that he's not having
an embarrassment, right? What if he takes out Kim Jong Il? You get me. After listening to you,
you mess his name up a few times and I can't. I'm going to do that to a lot of names.
Kim Il-sun is the grandfather.
Kim Jong-il.
Kim Il-sun is not the grandfather?
No, I thought you were going in the wrong direction.
You got it.
Okay.
Kim Il-sun is the grandfather.
Kim Jong-il is the father.
Kim Jong-un is the current dictator of North Korea.
Nicely done.
I know these things, but sometimes you wouldn't.
I will know it for 10 more seconds.
Well, fuck.
I'm like, what the fuck?
King John got that much.
If he handles that guy well, I think that that might be, I'm not going to say it won't make his presidency a good one,
but there will be a shining spot to look back to as of next year.
I feel like you take Obama's whole presidency.
I feel like there's a lot of things, mistakes he didn't make that we just don't look at, right?
But they look at his change in healthcare thing
as really the difference that he made.
You know, in everything he's done,
the American Health Care Act
is probably the most significant change that he made.
If North Korea is somehow solved in a good way,
they might look back at Trump's presidency
and be like, yeah, there was a lot of chaos.
No one's going to give a crap about
some 10-day
press secretary who used naughty
language. If he fixes North Korea...
Anyone who solves North Korea,
that's going to be their legacy
because that would be the biggest achievement of
any recent
president at all.
It'd be like, oh, what'd you do?
Oh, you pushed some legislators.
That's really cool.
That's really cool.
Oh, what did I do?
Yeah, I solved that fucking, the only closed, despotic, horrible country left on Earth where there's people born into slave camps.
We took care of that.
That would overshadow any president's achievements, I feel like. It depends on what it took to do it, right?
I don't think I'll get let's say hypothetically too hard three presidents after trump is me and the thing is
already practically tipped over and it happens on my watch i might get some undeserved credit
yeah but what i really want well i want i swear to god what i want is is was one of those
presidential addresses where the camera just fucking comes starts black and opens up, and there he is at his desk.
Trump's sitting there, and he's talking about North Korea, and then he starts listing some statistics.
He's reading off his teleprompter, telling you how bad it is and telling you there's only one solution and that the leader of this place has to be taken out.
And don't worry.
You don't have to wait because –
Bring him out.
He's got him.
Right?
They got him all bound and gagged.
They got Kim Jong-un right fucking there.
He's like, here he is.
Here he is.
You don't want to be causing any more problems, are you, fat boy?
Like, get a slap on the ass.
These people think he doesn't poop.
Two guys drag him away.
Watch this.
Pull his pants down, knee him in the stomach.
They say this man does not poop, but he's been shitting himself all night.
All night.
Pull down his soiled underwear.
The link at Bedward will never smell the same again.
Like, yeah, that would be great just capture him
and broadcast that shit back to his home country
and be like we hope that you find
some new leadership maybe
if he handled it that way like some sort of precise
surgical thing not literally kidnapping the leader
of another country and broadcasting on our airwaves
they'd find a way to make him look bad for that
if they sent special forces in and they
fucking took out that family.
They pulled an Arya Stark
and they just took out the Kim family.
All of the fucking people that are, and they went
to some general and were like, look, we need you
to work with us. We'll work with you.
Whatever politics you want to run,
run it, but no more human rights
abuses and the UN's going to be coming in here and
monitoring shit. Cool. If the nae sorts that then yeah that then trump rises from like maybe the worst president
of all time to like bottom 25 you know like like that'd be big so far he's like china you can keep
raping us on the economy if you fix the north korea thing that's his deal and china was like
i accept half your terms. Yeah, exactly. China
literally came out.
China said that the other day.
They're out.
And Trump keeps saying that he's going to solve
it. They're really
plowing headlong into
a war, it seems to me. A scary one.
He promises everything in two weeks.
That's a thing. Remember he was going to
fix ISIS in 30 days?
Remember he had a plan?
When's the last time you heard about an ISIS problem?
Yeah, when's the last time you heard about terrorism all the time?
I think mostly they're running and hiding right now because drones keep blowing their shit up.
Is it Trump?
I thought Trump pulled out and let Russia handle it.
That was one of his plans too.
There are definitely still ISIS attacks happening all
the time. I haven't heard about any
good ones lately. ISIS is going to wind
down and there'll be like ISIS
next or something.
Whatever. I haven't heard about Al-Qaeda for a while.
They killed them pretty soon. They'll be back on the JV team.
No one gives Obama tons of
No one gives Obama. That's funny.
Obama lots of credit for taking out Al-Qaeda, right?
They did.
Al-Qaeda's gone.
Osama bin Laden, murdered.
He's so murdered that they couldn't show pictures of his corpse.
Well, no.
Leaders of Al-Qaeda splintered off, and a lot of them are who formed ISIS.
Which is kind of where I'm headed to.
So I wouldn't be at all surprised if during Trump's term, ISIS dropped down, and I called it Kaisis, but whatever.
Whatever the hell the next thing is.
And they're like, hey, we took out ISIS.
I bet Trump would really celebrate that.
Never mind that the next one is just firing up.
Put up a big mission accomplished.
He's not as good at propaganda as I thought he would be.
That's true, actually.
he's good i felt like he would be it's like like during the campaign and especially um during the days of obama's the tail end of obama's presidency when he was kind of waiting in the wings it was
like he was always trying to come up with these things look what i did look what i did everyone
look at this thing i did just with a phone call i made this happen and that happened and he's not
doing that anymore that's that's why like pre you know six months ago if you told me like yeah he
kidnapped the president of north
korea and made him talk terms he showed it on tv i'd be like that does kind of fit his playbook
doesn't it yeah he's crazy like that but now i'm like no he's not doing that fucking crazy he's
he seems like he got in there and they were like sir no how would we even get him we don't know
where he is like they were like really, you don't always know? Like,
you can't see through his walls?
Like,
I can't like click some buttons right now and look at him?
No,
you've watched far too much CSI stuff.
Yeah,
I,
I,
I like the way you stated it.
He's not as good as propaganda as I thought he'd be.
And the thing is,
every time he tries it,
right,
he's like,
we've been the most productive presidency since lincoln or something like that
people just linked it's like it's something really far back might have been hoover whatever he was so
wrong you could and then i read the whole article where they laid out presidential productivity
case by case and the varying ways to you know quantify that that you know they'll say well
this guy did this and that but look at the time period he existed in. These other things were happening. They were factors that gave him more or less,
or, oh, well, this was a year when this couldn't happen, and so blah, blah, blah. And they really
broke down and explained the case really well for why Trump is one of the least busy, least
effective presidents ever. There were these other presidents who came in and like FDR comes in with
the New Deal or whatever whatever and like Hoover comes in
with the highway yeah yeah and almost the closest president of ours of seizing
like a kingship so that was DR we need him 12 12 years and not need a firm no
leadership there's some people who think he's among the best presidents ever.
Yeah, I can't argue with that.
I like FDR because I know the criticism is a new deal,
but it seemed to work out in the long run.
And we'll patch it up eventually.
We're going to get a better deal.
The way he led us through that war I felt was really interesting.
I saw a thing on 4chan the other day.
It was like, be the leader of a country.
Go to war.
Seize control of the economy.
Ignore presidential laws
and establish yourself
for 12 years.
It's got a picture of Hitler, of course. At the end, it's like
be FDR.
They were describing FDR. Oh, and the other one
was like put
your citizens in concentration camps.
It was still FDR, of course,
with the Japanese internment.
According to this UCLA article,
FDR's policies prolongated the Depression
by seven years,
according to UCLA economists.
Wow.
That's a shame.
I'm just going to the historical rankings
of presidents.
I don't know where FDR is going to land.
There's so many ways to rank them.
I wonder how they do it.
Like, if they did it by, like, war, I bet he'd do better.
I rank him.
Actually, that's lower than I expected.
Who's the lowest?
Like, that guy who got caught in his bathtub?
It's 32nd ranked by order, so that's not fair.
Ah.
He was just the 31st.
Actually, if you
go by aggregate, he's the second
best president in the history of America.
I bet Lincoln is first, and they
are wrong.
Washington should always be first.
Here, I'll just go down a couple
of the top ones. Lincoln, FDR,
Washington, Roosevelt,
Jefferson, Truman, Wilson, Eisenhower, Jackson, Kennedy.
So I like Washington.
It's my favorite president.
I'm a big fan of Teddy Roosevelt, the guy who cured himself of fucking asthma and had this crazy outdoorsman attitude.
They named the teddy bear.
The Belus party.
Yeah.
I like his whole attitude. I like his whole attitude.
I like his war career. Some of the things
he did against the Mexicans were very courageous.
He
navigated this lava field on his own
to find a path for his men to take
to flank the enemy. He led the
Rough Riders. He was a wild game hunter.
I admire all those things. I even like his motto,
speak softly and carry a big stick.
All that shit's cool.
He's definitely up there.
Lincoln's way the fuck down my list because he couldn't figure out a way to keep our goddamn country together without 650,000 people dying or something like that.
And, you know, find a compromise, bro.
Why does that make him a good president that he just let us into that incredibly self-destructive?
You've freed the slaves.
There's a lot of people who like being free.
Well, yeah. Most of them, I'd argue.
But it would have been better
if he'd done that while
not fighting the most... Well, I'm sure he offered
a non-war option.
I wasn't there.
So I still hold it against him.
And I think FDR
was very good.
He's second best, apparently.
I give Reagan a lot of credit for getting rid of
the Soviets
and never starting
a fucking global war with them.
Reagan, roughly 17th best.
Okay.
What is this list? Is this like time?
So what I did is I went to the
Wikipedia article. I'll give you a link.
And
that is not the link.
That is just...
Ah.
Google's infrastructure stuff is...
I mean, you've got to be thankful for that.
Without the highway system and those dams and all that stuff.
Historians and presidential rankings.
And then I went to the far right column where it says aggregate.
And I sorted on the aggregate.
Oh, I see.
Oh, yeah. Because there's a ton of different categories there's just a different people like you know c-span does one
wall street journal does one bunch oh yeah so uh so i just went to aggregate it's like to get like
a collective thing yeah those were some of the most influential i guess if nothing else i think
i think that's a good aggregate good way to like rank them by their by their by Hamilton influence they had how
much change they they enacted on the world the country all that stuff
James Buchanan that James Buchanan is a fucking loser he got last almost
everybody is shitting on was he the guy who was president for like
a year and died or something?
No, he was president for one term.
He was right before Lincoln.
Didn't do anything, eh?
Yeah, maybe. Well, he served right before
the Civil War, so maybe that reflects even worse on him.
Yeah, I bet it does.
That only makes sense if you look at our current
political system.
While it may have happened under Lincoln's watch,
surely the symptoms were visible and evident for a long time.
Yeah.
You guys want to call it a show?
Yeah.
All right.
PKN episode 155.