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At PKN episode 169, we were talking about stuff.
Oh, so Kyle, you said you went to one of the buildings that you own and killed wasps.
Yes, it was a wasp massacre.
It was a cold day, so they were all sleepy and not active, so you could really get close to them up on a ladder.
And I've got wasp spray that comes out in a jet.
I sprayed the nest, and it just rained wasps onto the floor.
It was very fun.
Did any survive?
Oh, no.
So, all right.
The story starts with my friend's part.
I guess it's not.
Tim, he showed in my videos, he's got a big puffy beard.
Like one of the first times I met him, he told me this.
So, in his house, he had a bat
and it was in his attic. So he calls like a pest removal place, which turns out to be a mistake.
Yep. And yeah, you know, I wouldn't have known. Oh, this is an endangered bat.
Dude, that is exactly what happened. So he calls him up and he says, look, we've got a couple bats.
You know, we need you to remove the bats. And they said, all right, this is exactly what happened. So he calls him up and he says, look, we've got a couple bats. We need you to remove the bats.
And they said, all right, this is how we do this.
By the way, you're on a list or something, so don't kill the bat on your own because now Big Brother knows about you.
That's the list the government needs to take seriously.
Yes, yes.
The bat list.
So let me – dude, this is a whopper story to me.
Anyway, what they do is they seal off his attic.
And now everything in that attic,
which is where you store your stuff, is like ruined.
Because rabies in bats apparently is very common.
Most of the time you worry about rabies in animals,
it's not really a justified worry.
They don't have it.
But in bats, they might.
This is what they tell me.
And so what they do is they seal off the attic
and they have to wait for the bat to opt to leave.
It's not his attic anymore.
It is now the bat's attic
and he's going to live there
for as long as he fucking chooses to.
So the bat decides to live there for a few more months,
at which point, like everything in the attic is destroyed.
It's destroyed because it's like peed on by a rabid bat
or torn up or used as nester.
I don't know what it is, but just kiss everything
goodbye in your attic.
And then he has to pay to get the bats removed
after they're done nesting and like seal it up.
And this costs a lot, like $8,000 or something
to redo his attic so it doesn't be,
oh, we're just starting.
How rare is this fucking bat?
I don't know, it's a very, very precious bat.
But the thing is, now his whole family
has potentially been exposed to rabies.
And they have to get these rabies treatments, right?
The thing is, it costs like four grand to get yourself treated for rabies and they have to get these rabies treatments right the thing is it costs like
four grand to get yourself treated for rabies a lot of foamy family meals since it's voluntary
it's not covered by health insurance and do you remember how much it costs per person quick quiz
four thousand dollars right well he has four children so there's six of them. Oh, baby. So now we're at like $20,000.
We're at $32,000.
Yeah.
And you can't roll the dice on rabies.
You could die.
Yeah.
We're at $32,000 so far.
That's where it ends.
So $32,000 plus the value of whatever's in the attic.
I don't know.
That might be 10 more.
Those bats go down.
Those bats go down.
Well, the thing is, my wife's at BJ Shopping the other day, and there's an attic restoration service.
And she's like, what should we call?
Because we have three attics and some crawl spaces and stuff.
And one of them in particular, I just know the insulation is not what it should be.
So I'm like, you know what?
Get a quote.
What's the harm?
And he looks around and it turns
out we don't think they do it right. But they find a bat in our attic. And I'm like, the fuck?
Like, oh my God. Like, is this a thing? Are we going to have to seal this off? Do I lose all
this stuff in the attic? And the attic, he's trying to land a sale and he's like i didn't
see shit right and i'm like you know like i'm just the attic man yeah yeah he's not like the
pest removal guy who's not on your side this guy's on your side he's trying to land a sale
and he's like i didn't see a fucking thing like there's you know he's like if it was
my attic well i i i've heard you know that uh they really dislike wasp and hornet spray
if you release one snowy owl
so jackie and i wait and we start planning i'm like honey you have any wasp and hornet spray an owl up in your attic. You will very quickly have an owl pop up in its den.
Yeah, so Jackie and I wait and we start planning.
I'm like, honey, you have any wasp and hornet spray?
And she goes, as a matter of fact, I do.
And at this point, it's like 1 p.m.
And she's like, don't you think we should spray it
at like dusk and see if, you know,
that way if he really hates it and leaves,
maybe he'll just go somewhere else.
So I go to spray him.
We wait.
It's like, you know, 520 sunsets at 511.
It's getting dark.
It's about time for him to go do bat things.
I don't know, a fight crime or something.
And you were just going to mist the entire area, just kind of trying to make it unhandable.
I'm going to spray him and his favorite spot, right?
Oh, so you're going to actually spray the bat itself.
So you knew, okay. Yeah, hypothetically
I sprayed the fuck out of that bat.
But it turns out he wasn't
in our attic. It looked like
he was in our... We have a
I don't know how to describe it.
It's louvered and then behind the
louvers is like a screen, like would be on a screen
door. And
it's... You can't walk up to him. There is like a screen like would be on a screen door and uh it's you can't like walk up to
him there's like a eve or something so he's kind of far away but once you sprayed him it became
really clear that he was on the other side of the screen he was on he was inside the louvers but
outside the building because the screen was there and jackie wisely was like yeah but spray the heck
out of like he'll destroy that screen if he wants to get in.
So, yeah, that bat, it was yesterday.
I bet he still stinks of hornet spray.
Oh, I bet he does more than stink.
How big was the bat?
It was like, you know, two inches or something.
Yeah, it was a little bat.
Yeah.
It can't be that rare.
We thought it might have been a big insect at first.
But I almost want to go look.
He's right in.
That's even more scary.
If you've got an insect that's the size of a bat, I'm much more afraid of that than a bat.
I want to go see if he came back.
It's kind of dark now, but I'll go look.
He's dead, Woody.
That's poison.
Yeah, he's dead.
I'm going to confirm.
Hold on.
That's a dead bat.
That's a dead bat. This shouldn't be more than like two minutes you guys do the show
It's right through that troll door over there
And I'll see if there's a bat all right so Taylor, and I ordered a
That's it. That's a completely dead bat well
It's weird the things that what he doesn't know much about and it's like that's not a can of like oh
That doesn't just make bugs smell
bad, and then they decide to leave your home. That's not
how poisons work. Like, it's a,
it's like, uh, like a... It's not phase
one of requesting the wasps to leave.
Ah, that's just flammable for,
it's like petroleum-based, with
like, poisons in it, and like, you spray a
wasp, and he's like, instantly fucking dead.
Poison napalm to them. Yeah.
Yeah, they're fucking wasted, so you spray... He probably died a really painful, horrible death, his eyes all burning and blind, and he's like instantly fucking dead poison napalm today yeah yeah they're fucking wasted so
you spread he probably died a really painful horrible death his eyes all burning and blind
and he flew off somewhere and then suffocated so i don't care oh yeah i don't care either
and i agree i'd rather have a bat than a bug the size of a bat that means there would be
thousands of other bugs up there there's not just one hanging out of them yeah like
yeah so so not only is the bat gone but i can't get within like 16 feet of like where he was
but the whole attic has a slight aroma of wasp and hornet spray
just just barely like there's a lingering thing there so i think i solved the problem
and saved 32 000 or whatever it means
there's another couple years of the Hopes College
they're not fucking around with a bat
that's tuition that's like it's funny
you put it in there yeah
if you suspect that there
could be some more and as tiny as they are
and as large as the attic is you know they could be lurking
they make those foggers
it's like
a little can of bug spray but it's
more like a grenade uh-huh you press the button and you leave and it sprays poison gas throughout
the entire area like literal poison gas they're very fun to use you feel like a nazi dude so
so it when i was in college right early in college get up on i was like a freshman or
sophomore in college and we had a dog that was very old on her last legs you didn't gas the dog no okay but it turns
out that sometimes when a dog like she was really fat she couldn't scratch herself and and she was
being attacked by fleas in a way that i have never seen before or since the fleas are all over
and uh you just look at her you'd see fleas everywhere and it was it's kind of sad and
you know we we put a collar on her but it wasn't enough the dog was just too vulnerable
and um in our house we had fleas fleas that like like if you put your head down by the carpet you'd see him
jumping yeah and somehow for teenage woody this became normalized this it was like yeah our
carpets have fleas you know yeah the carpet moves a little yeah carpet moves a little yeah that's
why i keep my door shut because my we call it the itchy carpet so i lived on the third floor of our house which
sat there the fourth floor depending on how you count it but like i had a bedroom in like my own
sort of living room it sounds nicer than it was but i liked it and um i had my own stairwell and
i just kept the door shut all the time so my room wasn't infected so i didn't prioritize it as like
full-on disgusting until jackie came over now to her
a carpet full of fleas jumping a foot high all over and i don't know like when you when i say
fleas you have to imagine like a thousand fleas right it's not like it's like rice crispy treats
popping off everywhere it's kyle has seen this yeah i've had this, yes. So Jackie comes over, and she was just not sick with the fuck.
So we did that.
We bombed it, and it solved the problem.
It even made the dog's life more comfortable
because you put a dog collar on a house of fleas,
and it doesn't fix anything.
You just see like a wave of them getting out of the way.
You see the dog is walking through. Move it, them getting out of the way.
Even my parents were thankful.
They're like, this is really improved.
Yeah, good job killing all the fleas.
The dog's name is Moses because he can split the flea sea.
Come on over here.
That would be a disgusting trick to show guests.
No, we just hand out flea collars to the guests they came up with a snake bathroom
so but adult woody is like why weren't my parents more on top of this flea situation if
if i had i don't think one hundredth of that i'd be dealing with the fleas
it's because they're incredibly resistant to stilettos it's just the wrong weapon if only my mom burnt us
we had that briefly you know like like it just when and where like as a child in our house in
the carpet like three or four years ago okay uh, and it was just like whoa. What's this?
Like all of a sudden it seemed to happen it wasn't like oh yeah
There's a flea in the carpet weird, and then you let it go and then it like got worse
It was it seemed like overnight
There was an issue and as soon as I noticed it it was
Already a problem to the point where like you put your shoes on when you walk through because they'll bite your fucking ankle
So I went and I bought I just bought
spray like contact spray that's more fleas like I don't know raid flea killer
and just sprayed all the carpets and it just killed them instantly that's all
yeah yeah it but but it's like you said it's very disgusting it's it's it's and
it's they bite you I should have been.
They bite you.
They do.
Yeah.
And by the way, like I would have flea bites all over me, like all of my ankles, ankles
and wrists mostly would be flea bitten.
And every so often like I chest and something, there'd be flea bites on me and it's just
like, yeah.
What?
Like, yeah.
Flea bites suck.
Don't they?
Yeah.
We all hate flea bites.
How many do you have?
I'm at like 40 right now.
I just started on the lice.
They're coming along.
What a weird issue.
Are flea bites, are they kind of like chiggers?
They're not as bad as chiggers.
Chiggers are long-lasting. With a flea bite, I would always take alcohol and rub it on there,
and that seemed to immediately alleviate the itching.
Because the flea bites you, and then it goes away,
but the chiggers burrow into your skin.
That's why you need a nail polish
on those chiggers. That was the worst,
to come in from the woods at my grandparents' house
and be like, man, what a fun day of being seven.
And then get into the shower
and be like, oh, it's going to be a horrible
next few days of being seven.
You know?
Last time I got chiggers, and be like, oh, it's going to be a horrible next few days of being seven. You know? Your legs just look like they're infested.
Last time I got chiggers, I was up in Tennessee
in this really tall grass in a field,
and I was just kind of wading through it
back and forth across where we were shooting,
and I got chiggers on my ankles.
And in case you don't know, Woody,
they burrow into your skin
and then protrude like a proboscis
out of your skin or whatever to breathe.
Like an antenna, kind of? Yeah, like that's their snor of your skin or whatever to breathe. Like an antenna?
That's their snorkel.
They live inside you but they still need air from the outside.
You take nail polish
and you paint over right where the
itchy spot is and it dies.
I suppose you absorb them
or something, whatever.
A little bit of protein, I guess.
That counts towards your caloric content. I hit my macros. I got bit of protein, I guess. Yeah, yeah. And the only... That counts towards your caloric content.
Yeah.
I hit my macros.
I got bit by a lot of chickens.
And Kitty doesn't use nail polish.
That's not a thing that she's into.
Okay.
But she did have purple nail polish from like a Halloween costume years gone by.
And so my ankles had all these purple, like bright purple metallic spots on them where i
painted myself and everybody was like what's going on there like chiggers i'm infested with chiggers
they live inside me and this kills them next time kyle you don't have to do purple nail polish uh
clear vaseline does the same thing yeah like a little tiny layer of that will will suffocate them too
i i didn't know how long it took for them to suffocate because you know but like insects
sort of absorb oxygen i think and through their skin like they don't breathe like us and i don't
know how the impression i was under the impression that you know it might take a day or two days or
three days to like fully make dead. And it did.
In a couple days, you're just going to scratch it off
and you're all gone.
When I was a kid, I was along the same lines.
Poison ivy.
So I'm allergic to poison ivy.
Some people aren't.
I never knew anyone that wasn't allergic to poison ivy.
I don't think I am.
I've been in the woods a lot and never gotten it.
That is like a full-on superpower for me.
Because when I'm in the woods, I am always on the eye out for leaves of three, let it be, any kind of hairy vine.
I am super susceptible, so allergic that if I eat too many cashews, I get poison ivy because they're in the same family.
I'm one of those guys.
Not as much as an adult, but as a kid.
How many cashews would you eat?
It would take a lot.
We used to get cashews in like a mr peanuts
thing and if i ate like half of that i would get a breakout of some sort and uh such like the best
nuts yeah not nuts but i'm with you okay yeah they're legumes i don't know what the fuck they
are but they might even be nuts and not anyway I would get poison ivy from such minor, minor contact.
Like my clothes touched poison ivy last year, so now I'm getting it this year.
Or they theorized I was getting it in the wind.
And young Woody, I must have been like 10 or 11 at this point,
just got fed the fuck up with being so allergic to poison ivy. And my response to it
was like, you know what? I'm going to stop preventative measures. Fuck poison ivy. I don't
care anymore. And there was like a little drawbridge or something near the horse farm. I used to like
to walk over there and I yanked poison ivy out with my bare hands. Yeah, poison ivy out with my bare hands yeah poison ivy to hell with you yeah yeah the next day or two
i was so broken out my forearm swelled up like i was popeye it didn't look human anymore and
they were just giant i they were all bruised black and blue because they weren't supposed to swell
like that it was it was terrible and we went the doctor, and he gave me steroids and helped me get better.
And that's when we learned all about the details of poison ivy.
That's when the poison ivy strategy was last attempted.
Yeah, I haven't tried it since.
Oh, gosh, it was terrible.
But now I'm a little better.
I bring wet wipes into the woods with me.
And if I touch poison ivy, you have like a couple hours to clean off and then you won't be impacted.
You always hear about, and maybe it's just like an urban legend type thing,
but the people who accidentally use poison ivy as toilet paper in the woods,
you know, you grab a leaf to wipe yourself off.
That must be dreadful.
Can you fucking imagine your asshole?
Like how much, legitimately, how much money would I have to pay you?
I know I don't have enough to wipe your ass with a handful of poison.
So everyone always comes up with.
There's no like, all right, now to run to the bathroom and like use alcohol and this and that and go to the doctor real quick.
No, you have to live with these results for a full eight hours of course oh eight hours
it doesn't work like that you can do anything like we're in the woods it's diarrhea you wipe
and then eight hours before we make it back to civilization minimum like if we if we've run
you might not know it takes about two or three days to break out oh yeah so so what happens is your eight hours is long i don't know on your asshole
call it it's more absorbent maybe it gets in there yeah you could be right i don't know
i don't know enough about this to dispute it but you're making a lot of sense um so yeah if you
would wait i think maybe three hours then I would get the full effect.
And then from there, you just have steroids and stuff to make it better quicker.
But it's awful.
And the first thing, like, well, a million dollars.
But obviously, would I actually do it?
I would do it for 25 grand.
You got to picture the cash, right?
Like, I've played this game with friends.
right like that's how i like i've played this game with friends like whenever we'd see something disgusting growing up like a puddle of literal like shit that had collected water and it's just
gross or like um there would be a pile of chicken feed that had rained on and it would be swarming
with maggots you know like the grossest shit you can imagine i'd be like how much how much to take
a bite chew it up but then you can spit it out and run to the hose and and scott would be like oh
like fifty thousand dollars and i'm like dude if i had a thousand dollars cash right here
in fucking 20s you know like like you'd munch that shit up i get and he starts thinking he's
like yeah i guess if you had cash and it's like if it was in 20s you know because it matters it
really does matter.
Because like.
I think it would take 15 though.
Like for 10 grand, I don't think I would do it.
For 25, I would.
I would do it for sure.
Five grand, I'd do it.
For five.
Well, you might not be aware of the suffering you're signing up for.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're talking about me.
I know how horrible this will be.
I bet if we just had left the truck dealership and I was like,
just think, this $10,000 is going to be part of the down payment.
Now that truck that you desire so much is only $31,000 for the top-of-the-line truck.
$31,000.
Have you been looking at trucks?
They're like $70,000.
That's only $60,000, top-of-the-line truck.
That's what you want, right?
If you want that 250 thing i
no f-150 king ranch is going to be about 70 grand oh yeah that's stout it's a lot yeah i guess people
are buying them and also i don't know what kind of deals people really get like i feel like trucks
get negotiated more than some other cars yeah there. There's a shitload of, uh,
of,
uh,
markup like $10,000.
And then sometimes there's big,
uh,
dealer rebates to incentives.
That's what I'm looking for.
Yeah.
Rebates is the right word.
Yeah.
But yeah,
so I see 70 and I think no flipping way,
but if it's actually 49,
I don't know. I don't know yeah that would be a crazy amount of markup
but maybe 50 you know like like i mean i meant uh maybe uh 55 60 who knows because the more valuable
the more the the vehicle costs usually the more markup because like on a ford focus
like 700 to 900 mark, depending on which trim
level you're getting. But on
the big F-150s and the
250s, it was like $10,000 to
$15,000, seemingly.
You could really move the price around.
Yeah.
I don't want to go too deep. You have something in your hand
you liked? Oh, man, we got these Rhino
50,000 dick pills.
There's one pill there. No, we got these Rhino 50,000 dick pills. There's one pill there.
No, I got a whole
drawer full of these
bad boys. I think I got
five of them. I linked you to the
same thing I bought. I haven't gotten mine yet.
They look festive.
You know, you got the Rhino on the front.
Time, size,
stamina.
It's a big pill. Like a holog hologram it only seems like a big pill uh it's um
i'll open it up i'm gonna open it up because it's a pill inside of a like travel to go case in there
and it's it's uh so like i was thinking the same thing i was like can i even swallow this this is
like a small battery right and uh but the thing
is this is a plastic container light right it's a plastic container that opens and then the actual
pill is sort of no expertise in this implies he's had one wow they have had to get sued if they're
just packing that in a pill-shaped plastic container. It didn't do anything.
I just shit it right out.
Somebody probably ate that.
What does the packaging say?
Anything that jumps out at you?
I'll read it quickly.
Maximize the time of intercourse.
Free from premature ejaculation.
How can that be?
Better ejaculine control.
It says ejaculate.
That's not a word.aculate toin e-j-e-j a-c-u-l-a-t-o-i-n better ejaculate toin control no limits no is all caps uh maximize volume of
ejaculate wow wait they spelled ejaculation wrong on the container? It sounded like ejaculation.
Can you spell it slowly, EJ?
It was just with the I and O.
Transfix, yeah.
Oh, okay.
They misspelled ejaculation on this container.
That's what's going on.
Amazing increase in thickness.
Maximize in length.
That's not proper English.
Width and that word you can't see but
i'm pretty sure it's stamina experience rock hard erection something erection maximize sexual
confidence i don't know you can't see it because like the design of these pills
maximize explosive orgasms uh and guaranteed enhancement. Take one capsule
one hour before sex to help energy, libido
and sexual performance. Rhino 50k
can also
but there's an N at the end of also
be used on a regular
also be used on a regular basis
to maintain optimal condition
of readiness before sex for best results.
Take Rhino 50k an hour apart from taking
other supplements or medications.
And the ingredients are
goji extract,
Densin extract,
cinnamon bark,
some words I can't pronounce correctly
because they're absurd.
You make me really curious.
First of all, you took one.
Did it work?
I took one an hour ago.
We're going to find out when the show gets over.
I got some company coming over,
and we're going to discover about these explosive orgasms
or ejaculate-oing.
Oh, it make it so awesome.
Your ejaculate do it much stronger.
So how much did you spend?
50 bucks?
No, no.
These were like $3 a pill. So how much did you spend? 50 bucks? No, no. They used to...
15.
Really?
Yeah, they're like $3 a pill.
Yeah.
I really want to...
So as far as I can tell,
I have outstanding penile function.
I've never had any want to go aftermarket on this.
But I am curious.
You have health insurance i strongly
recommend next time that you're at the doctor you ask for cialis i that like we got this as a joke
say because what would i if i yeah and was like hey i think i need some cialis he's gonna be like
oh okay mr 26 no no do you have trouble getting an erection and maintaining an erection no all right then no
no i'll tell you exactly what i told my doctor i said i have three girlfriends they're running me
ragged i was like i i can't go three or four times in an hour or you know in a night or whatever
like i good approach i need more power that's literally what I told this guy. And he was like, oh, you're living the life.
And I'm like, I guess, but I need some assistance here.
Like I said, I've taken Viagra before, and that gave me headaches.
So what do you recommend?
And, you know, you phrase it that way.
You don't say, do you think I'm a candidate?
You say, I've tried this, and I don't like it.
What do you think I should take?
Like you don't ask, should I take something?
Which one of these should I take?
These are his options.
And he's like, ah, well, Cialis is what I usually prescribe.
It's a little pricey, and it is.
How much is it?
I don't have health insurance.
A bottle is like $250.
Well, I do have health insurance, and so I hope it isn't $200.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be much cheaper.
For me, though, it's like $10 or $20
a pill. It's fucking
worth it. It's fucking worth it.
This shit is so powerful.
Yeah. People spend
$10 on alcohol that night.
I mean,
if you're going to have a party, it costs
$10. I'm telling you.
I'm afraid of getting one of those four-hour-plus erections.
That's bullshit.
That's like – no.
Don't worry about that.
That's complete bullshit.
That's not going to happen.
I'm afraid that I won't have – like my erections now last as long as I want them to.
I'm pretty happy with this ability I've developed, right?
It gets so hard, it hurts a little. That's what I'm also happy with this ability I've developed, right? Your penis gets so hard, it hurts a little.
That's what I'm also afraid of.
It's the most rock hard you've ever been to the point where you touch it and it's not soft at all.
There's no like, you can't, if you squeeze it, it's just like, it's a rock.
I've read that old people penises aren't as hard as young people.
I guess I haven't hit that yet.
My penis, it's pretty much the same as it's always been,
except I'm better at it.
Like 18-year-old Woody,
sometimes sex was over.
Oops.
Now you're a master of that.
Yeah.
Now I'm like a fucking,
it's like it's a trick rodeo cowboy or something.
That shit does what I tell it to.
That's where we are on this thing.
So I'm like, oh, is Viagra goingra gonna make me 18 again because i'm actually better now
i was calling it like i would kleenex you know like yeah you know would rhino pills make me
like i'm like is it am i gonna go early because right now it's kind of this is this is almost
assuredly bullshit and it's it's really just for a laugh and and maybe it does work you think it won't work no this i'm almost positive it won't
work at all yeah i'm gonna try it if i get an opportunity i'll try it like i mean some of
these ingredients like like i'm no uh metallurgist i'm not wings of redemption here but but cinnamon
bark sounds like it uh you know i don't know i'm sure sure some of these ingredients aid sexual function in some manner, but not that noticeable manner.
It's like when you take –
Cinnamon bark is good on your applesauce.
Maybe you'll have to sprinkle that pill on applesauce.
I don't – you know, like I've worked out with and without creatine, and there's a noticeable difference with creatine.
Like your muscles are harder.
You are literally stronger.
Not as sore. But it's a minor difference it's like 10 more you're like 10 better than normal i i'm
telling you with cialis you are 30 better than before it's it's absurd and you you've said that
you just really feel like you're tip-top notch on the sexual function thing.
Your ability to go a second, third, fourth time is not only minimized in time, but it's also minimized in significance.
You're not always as good as you were the second time or the third time.
But with this, you absolutely are. I'm telling you,
it's such a noticeable difference. It's fun.
It's the third time that always gets you.
Look at this. Look at it.
I don't know why.
Those fucking commercials scared me
to death of those. If you experience
an erection lasting longer than four hours,
I've had erections
that lasted two hours before, and it starts to get very uncomfortable you know like it's it's no longer
like woohoo having a great time it's like all right there needs to be a break here biologically
like that's why i'm not nervous to take this rhino stuff because if it does it's not going to do
fucking anything dude there's no telling what's in this rhino stuff we're all being completely
honest how long ago did you take it? An hour.
An hour from now.
Do you feel anything different about yourself at all?
Can you, like, give yourself a couple times?
With Cialis.
I haven't stopped.
Like, do you have to get aroused, or is it just like, well, I have an issue here.
Can anyone help me?
Like, I'm afraid of that.
It's not like a comedy movie where
like oh yeah we gave him viagra and now look he has an uncontrollable erection it's not that at
all it's just your your stuff works better and uh and a smaller amount of like uh stimuli is more
effective but zero stimuli will do nothing you know like if you're just sitting there and like
going about your if you're raking leaves in the yard and maybe if you happen upon an extra curvy piece of wood
as morty said you know but but but if you're just raking leaves nothing's gonna happen if you've
taken you know a massive dose of this stuff it's just not now i know what you told your doctor but
that won't work for me what would you tell your doctor if you were me and you wanted to score something you're not
going to quibble over this like like this isn't like trt where it's like an experimental thing
like i would say hey i i had some i would say i have a friend who's uc alice and he says it works
wonders could i get a uh a sample package of something like that and he'll most of the time
just give you five pills for free.
And a little like,
but what he doesn't even need that.
Like I,
I would need the silly excuse because I'm not necessarily,
you can just go in and say,
Hey,
I want to enjoy sex with my wife more.
If you're not embarrassed to tell your doctor that you have erectile
dysfunction,
then just tell him that.
And he's not going to even know.
What do you think? think nurse could you come
in here we need to run a few tests like she's not gonna start like no no bring
in a male nurse I'm gay too
I got nothing to talk about.
This isn't like you're scoring like opioids.
Yeah.
Opioids and antibiotics, which are things that doctors don't like prescribing unless you absolutely need them.
You know, they don't want to get over-prescribed antibiotics.
They don't want to over-prescribe opioids.
This is like heartburn medication. If you just tell your, hey, I'd like some Previlex or whatever for my heartburn, he's not going to be like drink drink this liter of orange juice and let me observe you you know he's not going to
check to see if you have acid reflux or anything oh it's horrible all right so he knows and then
we'll take the final judgment yeah yeah maybe next time i get a physical or something i'll just toss
that out there like you know my friend tried this said he was the super version of him i want to see
what that's all about.
I'm going to hook you right the fuck up.
It's not going to be – it's not a quibble over this, really.
I mean it's so widely used now.
It's about as safe as a medication can get.
If boner pills were causing issues, we would be hearing about it.
Now, I thought – now, what you have've heard, called gas station boner pills.
Now, everything I know about this topic comes from you
and Joe Rogan.
It's pretty much
expert level. Why are
people taking gas station
dick pills if they don't work?
Wouldn't they be widely known not to work?
The same reason that people buy stuff to
make their dick bigger, it's because they want
to believe that it will work. I feel like if people see a package that says, hey, this buy stuff to make their dick bigger it's because they want to believe that it will work and like if something i feel like people see a package that says hey this is
gonna make your dick bigger this is gonna do like this or that most people are like okay yeah no
because that's ridiculous this would be the largest company on the planet if if they'd
uncovered something here uh so no and so the ones that say like oh this is just like uh it's like
c atlas but you don't have to go to your doctor. You can just get it right here while you're getting your lottery tickets and whatever, you know, trashy gullible people buy.
Yeah, and your Slim Jims and your cigarettes and the whole nine.
Yeah, I want to believe that, but I've heard people say that it absolutely does work and it works very well.
I think it depends on which one you're taking.
You know, I bet some of them do work.
Because, like what they said on Rogan rogan again this is my source of information they were like well so and so says he takes them and
they're incredible that they that they just work really really well and they give him tons of
extra performance and i know but also joe rogan's podcast is like the universal lighthouse beacon
to placebo effects because all the time he has guests on you know i don't listen
listen as regularly as i did years ago but it'd be like oh you got to try this thing it's a it's
an isolation tank it's uh what they do here is you take these uh you know when you eat elk steak
it actually like i feel different when i eat it like like it makes me feel more energized like do
you do like there was i think rogan himself has made like $8 million on it, right?
Like brain booster.
He has, but it doesn't mean it works.
Like none of that stuff works.
Oh, I agree.
Yeah.
It's the exact same shit that you're going to find in Alex Jones' store, frankly.
I want to do the float tank though because that's a completely different sort of thing.
I've got a bed and I can close my eyes.
Are you supposed to be high?
I feel like sometimes people don't.
They're like, I went in the float tank and I started hallucinating.
I'm like, all right.
What else did you do?
Were you on acid in your float tank?
Were you on mushrooms?
Yeah.
Were you on mushrooms?
I think that drugs do help.
The CIA did those experiments where they gave people massive doses of LSD and they put them in the float tanks.
And of course, Rogan
is eating edible...
No, you can't drown in there.
And Rogan is of course taking
massive doses of edibles,
like edible marijuana, before he
goes in there. And I've heard
that that's what you should do when you're going in there.
Then how do you know what's working?
Like if you split the variables like that.
Because, like, well, if you've had the edible marijuana
before, you know, you're probably
not, like, going on a mystical
journey. You're just dopey.
But getting in the
sensory deprivation tank really interests
me because, first of all, I'm a little scared.
I wanted to do it last time we were out in Colorado because
they have that place. Oh, yeah, I remember that.
I was like, let's go float, guys.
You guys were like, let's do mini golf instead.
Sorry.
You can do mini golf anywhere, Taylor.
We could have laid in tanks alone
quietly for a premium.
Now Taylor's starting to make more sense.
I don't know.
You're telling me you don't want to pay
$40 an hour or whatever
it was to lay in a tank alone and not be able to talk to the people that you're on a trip with.
I just want to know more about the cleanliness of the water.
What are the odds that someone else peed in it?
100%.
They're all high.
I really hope they're giving you fresh water, right?
Like a whole new solution if you're paying $40.
Although, you would have to question
like that salt's expensive are they recycling the salt like that's a lot of salt water it's
it's got yeah yeah because it's a it's like the dead sea type concentrations of salt water so
that you float um you know you're you're you're completely suspended you're not touching the
bottom of this tank and it's a rather small tank. It's like coffin size. I think salt's about a dollar a pound.
I wouldn't
think they'd spend more than $12 or $15
on this salt. It's a big
chunk of 40. It's gotta be
a lot of salt. Remember that
scene from Stranger Things where
they made their own float tank and they're dumping
tons and tons of salt in there?
It's a lot of salt.
I heard someone talk about the formula for it,
like how many pounds of salt per gallon
it required to get X amount of buoyancy
for the dead sea.
I have a tiny bit of expertise in this
because I have a saltwater pool.
Yeah, you buy the 15-pound bag
for I think like $15.
If it's what I'm picturing,
like a little pod from the Matrix,
then I would think one bag would make it
really salty
there are roughly 850 pounds
ah no
there are 800
I used to do that all the time in our pools
I've got the answer here
there are roughly
850 pounds of salt
and 200 gallons of water
in an average-sized float tank.
So there's 400 pounds of salt
per gallon of water?
Yeah.
Slightly more than that.
That's very surprising to me.
Yeah, I thought it was going to be
something like that
because it has to be very salty.
Can you link that?
I'm convinced you misinterpreted it.
Does this even feel like water at this point?
Yeah.
It seems like you're laying in a bed of wet salt.
Hey, this place is a jip.
This is just sand.
I'm on the beach.
Fuck, we didn't think they'd notice.
Am I being preserved?
We didn't think they'd notice because they're high as fuck.
They're like a salted ham.
What do you think?
I'm sure
because it was colorado they're like uh you know someone could be like i'm getting in super high
and they're like we'll enjoy your trip man what if someone was like the way i do it is i drink a
whole fit of jack daniels and i get into this hub that'd be a recipe for death well there's no
misinterpreting this it's 850 pounds for 200 gallons. And they say the float tank is 8 by 4 feet, which is, I pictured a little narrower, but that's, yeah.
Kyle's right.
I'm just surprised.
Yeah, I guess a gallon of salt is way bigger than a pound of salt.
Like, that helps picture it.
You know?
Yeah, I know.
You know how big, like, a concrete bag is?
Yeah. Oh, you've probably done saltwater pools, too. You know? Yeah, I know. You know how big a concrete bag is? Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Oh, you've probably done saltwater pools too.
That's roughly how much salt I pour in at a time.
I would have thought I'd just take one of those and you'd have salty water.
I guess not.
It has to be so salty that it creates that extra buoyancy.
Like the Dead Sea.
Have you seen those people who go to the Dead Sea and float?
It's really remarkable.
They're surprisingly floaty, yeah.
Yeah, like I saw Carl Pilking do it.
He's like, whoa, you actually do float.
I was like, oh, is someone gobbed here?
There's like a big loogie and like a band-aid on him.
He's like, ah, let's get the fuck out of here.
Is that someone's gob?
I've been listening to more carl pilkington stuff recently uh i've heard most
of it before but his show with uh with ricky gervais and all that like uh monkey news and ask
carl pilkington and his diary and if you guys have not listened to the youtube series just type in
carl pilkington uh stories or accent news is good news like they are all they're so fucking funny that it is hard
to believe that he's not just an incredible actor he is uh i i i think he's an idiot savant of some
kind because sometimes he says things that are really dumb and he doesn't but sometimes it's
so dumb that you're like come on you're not that dumb are you um and he and he produces an x that xfm uh radio show
they do he's the fucking producer like he can't be retarded you know but but there's times when
he's just i've listened to i i listen to it at night and then i let it play when i go to sleep
i like to have something playing and and that so i go to sleep to the sounds of r Gervais and Carl Pilkington. That tackle
of Ricky Gervais.
But Carl,
on that show, there are hours and hours of this stuff.
Carl's diary is good.
Let's listen to that today.
If you pay attention, there's a little joke
at the end of each diary entry.
He's writing a joke as he goes.
I don't know how dumb or smart
Carl is. I think that's the brilliance of him. i don't necessarily need to know uh but but yeah that's
really funny stuff and it's hard to fool me at this point like like i'm sure it is with all of
us at this point we have enough internet experience that like when we see something that's
like a prank video that's fake or over the top or like oh oh sirens are going off i know this is
fake yeah even if i can't properly articulate exactly why, I know it's fake.
Sometimes it's just the camera angle.
Yeah, it's just the camera angle or something.
Yeah, the audio is good on this.
It's impossible.
Yeah, the audio thing is true.
Where you'll watch a video that's really – or the worst are the street fights where it's halfway through.
You're like, this is dope.
And then you're like, oh, man, nobody's this good of a camera person in a street fight.
This is fake.
But yeah, check out Carl Pilkington, anyone out there who hasn't it's fucking hilarious what you mentioned carl pilkington to me he's in that realm of comedian
that gets pimped by a bigger comedian joey diaz is there too and there's usually something about
them that's not quite ready for prime time like they have moments of brilliance but they're not
constantly brilliant i don't know
Carl Pickleton as well, but
I listen to a lot of Joey Diaz.
Joe Rogan constantly says he's the funniest
man on the planet, right?
He has his moments.
I don't know why Rogan thinks he's
that funny. It's because they're
really, really good friends, I think.
He obviously pumps his tires
a little bit. Joey's been doing stand-up for like decades or something traveling around and he is a funny guy
but i think rogan believes it now i i hear what taylor's saying and maybe i'm being gullible but
i think rogan like for whatever reason whatever diaz is saying joey diaz it just fits what rogan
likes to hear in comedy. Yeah.
He has his moments, but I'm not a huge fan of Joey.
He gets a little bit too fucking crazy and animated,
and he's a little disgusting to look at.
That is a legit downside.
I don't like his comedy.
He's too disgusting to look at.
He will just be like, I'm fucking telling you, this guy is that, this guy.
Oh, my God, everyone's stupid but me.
And I'm like, Joe Rogan, let me tell you, Joe Rogan.
You know, he always calls him Joe Rogan. Yeah, he calls him first and last name.
They've been friends for like 30 years.
He still calls him Joe Rogan. You've seen that clip where he's talking
about Habib Nurmagomedov
and he's got gum in his mouth and he's so like,
he looks like he's on coke. Like he's so like,
could be. He's chewing
the gum aggressively so it's
like almost jumping out of his mouth and he's talking he keeps calling khabib khabib khabibi
khabibi and he's like khabib norma gameda he's like khabibi nimiga like he can't even come close
i mean the reason his voice is like that is because of all the coke he did it wouldn't be
from the yelling you don't think no it's definitely
from the he's got like that coke sound oh okay i know he's fucked up i'm not saying it's not
something i know about i'm not a huge fan uh he's just okay uh carl's not even really a comedian
he's just like a personality or something he's just like weird with carl being like like you
were saying joey diaz isn't ready for primeetime. I agree. I don't think he is.
I think like he's,
he's,
he's a funny enough guy,
but not the funniest person in the world.
Carl Pilkington has had multiple shows now of idiot abroad or, um,
moaning of life.
And they got rave reviews.
Everybody I've ever showed that show to,
or recommended it to has always got back to me.
Like that is,
I cannot believe I'd never heard
of that before like because it was like it's
if you haven't watched them Woody I've seen
it abroad a lot maybe all of them
of life is his other one and it's
just as funny abroad's not
that good I don't like the midget oh yeah
I love it to me idiot abroad
like what is it 30 minutes
or 60 I forget but
yeah and I think of that 60 minutes
there'll be a good enjoyable five in there and and there's just a whole lot of like guy being
bored while great things happen you know like i'm gonna take a train across like um what the
fuck is next to russia uh kakistan kazakhstan kazakhstan it might be that's not what i'm going for and
mongolia yeah yeah mongolia is what i was going for um you know so it's like i'm taking a train
off across mongolia and there's like amazing things to see and it's an experience and
and there's all these like i'll say unpleasant people on the train but that's part of the
journey you know like you're a fish out of water which of course is that the whole thing is based I'll say unpleasant people on the train, but that's part of the journey.
You're a fish out of water,
which of course the whole thing is based on fish out of water.
And all he does is just complain about being out of water.
The way he complains, though, that's funny.
Because you can tell he's genuinely upset. It's not necessarily about fish out of water.
It's about Ricky Gervais coming up with a bucket list,
but it's not Carl's bucket list.
It's an actually interesting person's bucket list,
and Carl hates this.
Carl would rather be at home eating potato chips and Twix
and living a really simple life.
And the gag is that he doesn't find any of this.
He goes to the top of Mount Fuji and he's like,
well, that's alright, isn't it?
Alright.
I can't remember.
I think I saw this on a screensaver.
Something like that.
He goes like Anger Watt or whatever.
He's like, do we have to go all the way?
We can see it from here.
We see it. We see it. And he quits.
He quits instead of walking
the last I think he was bungee jumping in one I saw and he either didn't do it or quit or something
like he just pussied out yeah always pussies out yeah and I'm it it you know like like I said Joey
Diaz somehow is that perfect puzzle piece that fits what Rogan thinks is funny that doesn't that's
not my opening you know we're not it's up well
with me with what i think is funny like because i like being able to tell like with a reality show
like if you know on real world or whatever that show hasn't been on in fucking forever but if
one of them were sitting you dated yourself well welcome to my welcome to my world that's the last
one i remember enjoying and uh that was a long time ago. Yeah, it had punk on it.
He rode his bike and picked his nose.
If one of those guys were sitting on the steps of one of those Indian temples
with all those macaques running around,
and they got their bag of Lay's stolen,
they'd be like, oh, man, this sucks.
That fucking monkey has it.
And then it'd zoom in all goofy, and it would be silly and scripted.
When Carl was sitting there thinking he he was on his break enjoying his last
packet of crisps you know by the by the moon kiss and he opens it up and a and a monkey comes down
and like one of them grabs slaps his ear and he turns the other one grabs his chips and they run
away like you can see in his face like how upset he is that that they're filming him from so far
away that he thinks he's on a break
and he's just like, Munchy took my last crisps.
He's just so, I don't know, I like how it's intentionally making him uncomfortable.
And for the first five, six episodes of that, he will continue to call back to Ricky and
be like, this is an awful holiday.
He's like, Carl, how many times do I have to tell you?
You're not on holiday.
This is a job.
This is a job.
You're filming a television series for on holiday. This is a job.
You're filming a television series for Sky One.
I know, Ricky.
That's some funny shit.
I think we had our pool of who would be the next
sexual abuse guy that came out.
You get on Travolta.
You get half of him because he has come out before.
He has, but resurfaced.
I saw on Reddit, resurface was the actual word.
Yeah, I linked you there.
If you scroll just a tiny bit, John Travolta's sexual battery.
So good times, man.
The Oscar is going to be lonely this year.
It's just going to be like Rob Schneider and David Spade up there.
Like, thank you for Best
Actor award and yeah there's gonna be nobody left I need a movie this year but
we we don't have a very deep bench Tommy boy was a 19 years ago but finally some
recognition you know like I hope that Tom Cruise gets called out I hope that
all the a-listers get brought down and destroyed and a new crowd rises up from the ashes of destroyed Hollywood.
I would love that if it turned out Tom Cruise was really scary
with some Scientology-like prisoners in his basement.
He was allowing them to run some sort of mental correction facility,
some sort of brainwashing at his property,
and there were people in cages or something,
like on the Family Guy episode.
That would be great.
I'd like it if he got taken down because I
I can't even enjoy
a Tom Cruise movie. He's such
a personality.
I don't hate him. It's just like you see
Tom Cruise is in a role and you're like oh that's Tom
Cruise. You can't picture him as the guy
from The Mummy or Jack
Reacher much less. Like I don't know if you guys know much
about Jack Reacher, the novels, or if you've seen the movie and the basically supposed to be big and strong
supposed to be 6 4 240 roughly a guy who literally snaps necks and breaks arms and
and has the physical prowess and training to do those things believably and they put five foot eight on a good day tom cruise in there as this
guy and he literally beats up five men simultaneously routinely in the show and sort of nonchalantly
and it's you know who loves tom cruise short extras because like if me or kyle go in and
they're like all right we're we'd love to be the people
fighting tom cruise and be like oh no no no we've got a great crop of five five guys over here
they're gonna kill it for us like he's he's a job i do my own stuff he's a job creator
uh i like tom cruise i i don't dislike him i'm just totally indifferent. I see what Kyle says. What's your favorite Tom Cruise movie?
The one where he goes in time repeatedly.
Ah, that's a good fucking movie.
Day After Tomorrow, right?
The Edge of Tomorrow.
Yeah, Edge of Tomorrow.
Day After Tomorrow is not a good movie.
Completely different movie.
Yeah, yeah.
Whole different shit.
Edge of Tomorrow is my favorite Tom Cruise movie.
Making a sequel.
I heard about that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know how they're going to do that.
I don't know either.
I hope it's clever.
Do you know my favorite one?
The Star Trek reboot.
The first Star Trek,
it's like they obeyed the canon
and then it had a time travel aspect
and the time travel aspect
served to make a really interesting movie
and to reset the canon
because nobody's future is set.
And I was like, oh, I love that love that was so well done and i agree completely you uh you don't piss off the classic
fans but you still find a way to spice things up for any new fans you might be getting it without
retelling the old story it's it's excellent i love the first star trek reboot movie. But Taylor, I'm sure you are very interested to see
what Amazon is going to do since they
plunked out $250
million
to the Tolkien estate for just
the rights to produce
Star Trek. I can't be alone in thinking
that six three-hour movies
was not enough to cover Lord of the Rings.
Not even close. They must
need hundreds of hours more of Lord of the Rings. Not even close. Yeah, they must need hundreds of hours more
of Lord of the Rings content.
There's, I mean, I'm split on it
because I'm such a huge Lord of the Rings fan
of the lore and everything
that I'm going to watch it no matter what.
Like I'm going to,
unless they just do something
that is insultingly ridiculous.
Like the Hobbit?
A few gay Hobbits, a couple black Hobbits.
Dude, if they don't stick with...
I mean, the whole entire world is written based on medieval Europe.
And so that's why everyone...
And so that's why it's all white people.
Because that's kind of the era he was writing about.
If he was writing about ancient African warring tribes,
all the characters would be black,
but he wasn't writing about that.
And so what I don't want more than anything
is for them to bastardize the story.
I don't want them to inject a bunch of new characters
for no reason.
That's a big fear.
Is that going to be like,
oh, these are all the hobbits going on their way,
and then they also bring along a little a little hobbit girl it's funny because
i end up bailing them out of so many situations like no i don't want new characters i don't want
forced diversity into it because that'll take you out of the moment like i don't want uh a lady
dwarf in there like part of the fun of it is like you don't see that kind of stuff it's just kind of
in the ether like i don't want uh uh it wouldn't make sense for aragorn and uh and some you know and then some black guy shows up and he's like i'm also a
dunedain and he's like oh that's interesting let's just keep walking as though this world
before this all right i want to jump in i have no problem with diversity that doesn't impact me
in the same way i don't want the same characters.
I don't want it to be Pippin and whatever.
No, it won't be.
Yeah.
I want it to be in the Lord of the Rings universe.
I want those rules to be established.
Whatever powers Dúdá Dain's and wraiths and elves and dwarves have,
it should be based on the books.
So I want Lord of the Rings universe,
but I want all new characters and stories.
We do not need to just cover the same ground again.
It's been more than covered.
So this is a prequel.
So you're probably going to go back, maybe get some more goth stuff, maybe go back.
I generally didn't know that.
I thought they might just be redoing the series again.
No, you're not getting the Lord of the Rings.
You're getting the Tolkien universe.
I'm not as upset about this.
They can do some Cimmerillion stuff.
They're going to go back before
the War for the Rings.
Once the War for the Rings happens,
that's kind of like happy ever after
for the rest of the universe.
They destroyed the ring.
The elves are gone.
They go off to the Undying Lands.
Most of our main characters
also to the Undying Lands.
You can't go after Lord of the Rings.
You really can't retell the
Lord of the Rings series that
won like 25 Oscars or something like
that. So they're going to go before. So you
very well may have Gandalf in there.
Almost certain. I doubt
there's going to be, because Gandalf's like, whatever,
1500 or 2000 years or older, some
shit. Aragorn was
only 90 or roughly at the
time of the battle for the ring,
so hopefully they go even before him.
A debuffed Gandalf would be pretty cool, actually.
Like, if he was a little younger
and struggling to figure out how to be a wizard.
He would be...
It depends how far back they go.
Yeah.
Because it would just be Gandalf the Grey again.
Yeah. But even Gandalf the Grey at the start of the show
was pretty competent.
He was able to beat Balrog
and make fire...
He didn't ever fuck up his spells or anything.
Let's go back a little bit.
Let's go back when Gandalf...
He's like, oh shit!
Let's go to where he's like,
can you do fireworks? Well, a little, you know?
From where he gets expelled from Hogwarts
for just stabbing another student.
Like, Gandalf, this is not a place for swords.
You guys are the biggest pussy wizards I've ever heard.
You just unlocked a door with your magic
because you didn't want to push the bar open.
You fucking fruit.
Yeah, yeah.
If it's a prequel, I'm way more okay with it then i just hope that they are
they stay true to it and they avoid the ham-handed pandering diversity stuff for the sake of it
because anything that takes me out of the universe is now if they made kunta kinte an irish guy i'd
have a hard time who's following roots he was the slave from roots like if they made that guy
Irish it would it would not make any sense it would ruin the storm is Toby. Yeah. Yeah, you'll do fucking nothing to his master
With like the stock because I love Lord of the Rings like the way the uruk-hai armor looks the way the elves culture looks the way you can tell tolkien put so much attention and detail
into all these different cultures and all their practices and all the things they do and i hope
they don't break that mold too much because that is that is what makes up the entire world
you better get what a workshop on board and if they're smart they'll be they'll go to that
warehouse wherever the fuck it is and buy up all those props
and costumes that were used for The Hobbit
and the Lord of the Rings movies and start with good shit.
Because that's one of the many issues with The Hobbit
was obviously that Guillermo del Toro
was originally directing the films
and he had a crazy version of The Hobbit that he was making
that I'm sure was darker and probably scarier and we would have preferred and then he has to leave the production
for whatever reason i don't recall and then peter jackson takes over with only a couple of months of
pre-production time available whereas with the lord of the rings trilogy he had three and a half
years of pre-production to scout uh places to to dropboards, to hammer down a perfect script.
I've never seen the third Hobbit,
and I'm not sure I've seen the second.
I've worked two.
I feel like I...
No, you don't.
I promise you don't.
What happened in the second one?
You may tell you what happens with the dragon.
Let me ask you this.
In the first one, I remember...
Which one did they go in barrels
and Legolas, Legolas, whatever,
jump?
That was one.
Fuck.
Give me something that happened in two so I can tell youolas, whatever, jump. That was one. Fuck.
Give me something that happened in two so I can tell you if I saw it.
You see the dragon.
Bilbo goes into the Ocean of Gold, and he meets Shmog the dragon.
And they have a conversation, right?
They do have a conversation. That doesn't happen in one at the end?
No.
No, it doesn't.
They haven't made it to the D dwarven city yet at that point so then um at the end of two smog like flies out of the fucking dwarven city and he's about to go
lay some pain down on the city that's like right next door and that's kind of like where cliff
hangs it cliff hangs there and you think oh shit when the third movie starts it's a dragon movie i bet they spend an hour
fighting this dragon dude they fight that dragon for about 12 minutes and by fight i mean the
dragon burns a few buildings sit like talk some shit to to like one guy while the guy's cocking
the only weapon in this universe that can kill the dragon he's like cocking the biggest bow ever in a bell tower with a black arrow and and smog is like you think you've got it no please i'm gonna fly straight
towards you and the guy like and the guy like shoots him kills him and that's it the fucking
dragon just dies like 10 minutes into the third watch it yeah and there's no more dragon now so like the story doesn't matter. So now you're like... And then the battle of the five armies.
Oh. It was so bad it upset me because I
remembered imagining how that battle would look from reading the book it myself and being like man
this would be so cool and then like you see the dwarves running in and
they're just like basically you
know those liquid physics engines you'll see like it'll be like oh look at how this liquid flows
did you know it's not even real well i did know that the dwarves flowing down were not real because
they were basically like bouncing over one another like it looked it looked horrible so that's that's
another huge thing for this is that if they go if they do cgi instead of costumes and makeup and armor,
it's going to ruin it.
They did a weird thing.
That's part of what makes Lord of the Rings so good.
With colors in The Hobbit, they were like,
yeah, this camera kind of darkens everything.
So all the actors are dressed in fluorescents,
and then they suck the colors out.
And in the end, it just looks shitty.
Did you not know that?
There was a lot of things going on.
There was so much shit.
They were shooting it at a things going on like they were shooting
it at a higher frame rate they were shooting it in 4k simultaneously they were like did i want to
get like there must be some 4k 48 frames per second version that one could find totally yeah
and i could watch that on a laptop the amazon blu-ray master edition or whatever some shit
like that on a laptop. Don't do that.
The movie's bad enough.
I don't know that my projector...
I mean, my projector wouldn't do 4K, that's for sure.
I bet it would do 60 frames per second, though.
Yeah, I don't know much about that.
I've got the 4K TV
and I play stuff on the Xbox
for the Blu-rays that I do have.
I'll have to look again.
Maybe Black Friday, I'll look at 4K projectors.
I only look
every six months or so.
Wait another five years maybe.
Because 4K TVs are not
that bad.
They've become almost affordable.
Yeah.
How much is a big 4K TV?
If you wanted to go 60 inches or better.
Taylor?
I'm not even looking at How much is a big 4K TV? If you wanted to go 60 inches or better. Taylor? Did you buy one recently?
I'm not even looking at 4K anymore.
Oh, you didn't get it?
No, I ended up not getting it, and I don't really think I need 4K.
What did you find?
Tell me, but you must know something.
Oh, it was not that expensive.
It was like $800 for a 60-inch one, 65-inch.
1080, though, right?
No, no.
There were 4K ones on Amazon.
Yeah.
A few months back, like we found this crazy – like whenever Taylor was moving into his new place,
like we found this crazy cheap deal on like, I don't know,
a Philips or a Sony or something.
It just depends what you want.
Like I do this about every six months as well.
Like I look at big 4k tvs
because i can't go smaller than 72 inches so i have to have a 75 inch 4k tv if i'm gonna get a
new tv there's just no point in getting a smaller tv like i want to step up in resolution not step
down in size i'd rather have a big 1080 than a medium size 4k i already have a medium size 4k
so they're expensive.
The good one, not the greatest one,
but the good one is like $5,000.
The greatest ones, of course, are like $10,000 or $12,000.
Going from 60 to 70 inches is huge in the price.
You can get a really good price on a 60-inch 4K TV.
If you take it up to 70 inches it's it might literally
be double more like it might actually be it's so much it it truly is like like the price jump
between the 60 inch and the 75 inch 4k tv is enormous i don't know if that has to do with
technology or just supply and demand it's actually a lot bigger too right like it sounds like the
numbers are close but as you know like what happens to the area yeah it might be twice as big or something like it it's significant like i i love my 72 inch
tv so much when people see it they're always just like whoa that's so cool and i'm like yeah like
like few things that i own uh get that reaction out of people and like you know i i love watching
i've had girls like be in bed with me and be like,
well, let's just stay here and enjoy this wonderful TV. And I'm like, yeah, all right.
You think that TV is cool? You should see my dick. Yeah, right. It's not 72 inches though.
What was I going to say? Oh, so I've had a projector for a couple of years. I don't consider myself an expert,
but I've learned a thing or two.
I really like my next projector to be an LED bulb.
Our bulb goes like every six months or so,
and they're like $400.
So like every six months,
you pay $400 for the bulb on your TV.
And when it breaks, it explodes,
like and rains glass on the people watching it.
So that's an issue.
And it's really hot, so there's a fan going all the time.
Whereas I think if it was an LED, it maybe wouldn't need that kind of fan.
And I want it to be 4K, and it needs to be bright.
So I want my next projector to be good, and they seem to be about $12,000 right now.
That just seems like a lot.
So we'll see what's up.
Yeah, I don't know but uh
so i'm trying to think did yard work no one wants to hear about that but it was a big thing for me this week or on this sunday i started doing that thing where you like cook your whole
like all your meals meal prep sunday okay yeah yeah i did something like that thing where you like cook your whole like all your meals out meal prep sunday
okay yeah yeah i did something like that so i just like picked something really simple i i made an
enormous amount of brown rice i bought these nice like tupperware snap down things with like divided
insides to it and then i just baked uh i don't even know how many pounds. I like the the rack I had to fill it up entirely twice and I still had some extra of
chicken thighs
Because that's dark meat and it's gonna taste better than then chicken breast which I didn't want to fuck
I figured my first time doing this
I've never baked enough chicken to feed 30 people at once like and if I dry a bunch of the breasts and it just ruin
It that'll bum me out. So I did the chicken thigh thing. I did Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.
I ate the meal before this.
Not that good, but I'm basically like I've made my diet now.
Like in the morning, I do like my protein shakes.
I do two scoops of that.
And then throughout the morning, I'll drink that.
And then I'll have like a banana at like noon or one.
And I don't eat a real
lunch there and then when i get home i'm famished and so suddenly the shitty baked uh chicken thighs
that i reheat and are like oh this is this isn't too bad is it and so i just i eat that as fast as
i can and with all like the the cup and a half or however much brown rice i have in there maybe two
cups i don't know and then uh i'll have like some broccoli or baby carrots with that. And then at night before
bed, I have another one of those two scoop protein shakes because I think it's good to like have your
body always have access to a bunch of protein to be repairing. And so all that together is only
like 1600 calories a day. And so think i should be able to to cut weight
decently quickly as long as i don't cheat on friday saturday too much which i do every night
and i i mean every night because i keep going back to the store and getting more i've been eating
one quart and one one it's 1.25 quarts of ice cream. Every night I've been eating this.
This is ridiculous.
I hate this topic now.
That's a totally different approach to what I just described myself doing now.
Last night, but then yesterday I went to the grocery store and I got a half gallon bucket of ice cream.
And I almost finished it off last night.
I got three enormous bowls full of ice cream. Like five heaping
scoops in each bowl and I
ate them about an hour apart from each
other while I watched Ford walk in.
I love ice cream.
I got banana split ice cream.
It's got everything in there. It's too cold.
Oh, I love it. It's got
big chunks of like
fudge in there and like pineapple
chunks and strawberry and cherries in there and like pineapple chunks and strawberry and cherries in
there and like cherry sauce in there and strawberry sauce and it's just i i'm just i love ice cream
dating back to april when i started losing weight i've had uh one spoonful of someone else's ice
cream that's my total life and it's really this is what i do i lately i've been sleeping and my
sleep schedule is fucked.
But I skip till I don't eat anything till lunch.
I'll wake up.
I'll have like a lunch.
Maybe sometimes it's two hours.
And it's like, if I wake up at 10, I can go to 12 and skip breakfast, right?
This isn't fucking hard.
So I'll eat lunch and then I'll eat dinner.
And about half the time I cheat and I have some sort of like a bowl of almonds.
And sometimes there's like trail mix mixed in, which will have like M&Ms.
And that's my cheat.
And that's what I eat all day.
Like there's nothing else.
And I'm hovering in my weight lately, like 197, 199, not to anything, thankfully.
But I'm like, Woody, this isn't getting you to 190.
You need a weight vest to start carrying around.
See, what's happened. This is bullshit
What's happened is you lost about 15 or 20 pounds so now something yeah, so you've lost 20 pounds
So now you're not carrying around that 20 pounds anymore
So you're not burning as many calories you need 20 pounds of weight vest to be carrying around everywhere
So you can maintain this this curve
of weight loss that's what i do with ice cream you just wear a you just wear a weighted vest
around you as much as you want a gallon of ice cream on me at all times that's about nine and a
half pounds and like i'm thinking to myself like all right woody you know just everyone else who's
not like constantly losing weight they're lying lying about their, I'm really not.
Like I've laid it all out there.
You know, I have like a, I don't know, a cup, a tops of almonds every cup.
And it's like, that's my, I don't know.
What helps me with that is I bought a food scale.
So like when I was making the meals this past Sunday for like the whole week, And I only, I didn't want to jump into it too much.
So I only made five for like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
Or no, I made six Sunday through Friday because I know I'm not going to eat my fucking,
you know, at that point, six day old chicken thighs
and brown rice on the weekend.
But I don't know.
I'm hoping I stick to it,
but I need to pick something else
that's tastier next week to do because these chicken thighs are not because they're boneless
and skinless for dinner last night i ate a rotisserie chicken now you're on the wrong
oh but you were saying like this is if the meal prep sunday whatever thing fails you can always
just i could always just eat a rotisserie chicken every single day. Like, that's not nearly as
cost-effective at all
to just go buy a rotisserie chicken pre-cooked,
but those are the best meal.
They're like $4. It's like $4 for
a rotisserie chicken. I went to the grocery
store, and they had like four different
variants. They had like lemon pepper,
and I don't know, regular seasoning,
and I don't know, a couple more.
I think I did cheat.
I ate almost the entire chicken.
Kitty ate whatever her serving is.
Have you ever seen Kitty eat?
It's like a...
Nothing.
It's nothing.
And then she made, like,
four mashed potatoes worth of mashed potatoes.
Her serving was, like, nothing.
And I ate everything else.
I ate, like, three potatoes
and most of a chicken last night.
And then I ate that ice cream.
See, the chicken is good for you.
It's all protein.
All the skin.
All those mashed potatoes are not that good for you.
I had Thai food two days ago, so that's a cheat.
That's good stuff.
That same day, what we did is we went to these giant sand dunes.
They were like 200 feet tall.
And we went paragliding.
But it didn't fucking work.
So all you do, they call it a sled
ride we just pretty much run down a giant sand hill and then walk back up and do that for hours
like i'm still sore from that like that has to burn some of that type i don't know i think so
yeah i love thai food kitty's cooking thai food this week she i went and got all the the vindaloo
and tangori spices and bullshit so like she's
really good at making uh like curry and stuff it's i i love that shit i eat so much rice with
it though like i do the stuff you're not supposed to do like like i want a whole bowl of rice
drenched in sauce that white rice better be yellow by the time we're done putting the sauce on it i
don't want to see any whiteness left in there and then just cover it with spicy, spicy chicken.
Mine had white rice too. It just seems like Thai food once a fucking month shouldn't be like the
reason I'm hovering in weight. I don't know. We'll watch BB-196 next time I weigh in.
I haven't eaten anything today other than this. I have. I've eaten twice. Both times,
what we call George Foreman chicken,
just skinless, boneless chicken breast,
and mixed vegetables one time and peas the other.
That's all I've eaten today.
It's not that bad.
No, it's not bad at all.
The only thing I've had to drink is a bunch of waters.
Oh, and I think I had coffee before the show.
Yeah. I really don't drink diet soda nearly as much as I did even like six months ago
because I used to go through it like not quite like Kyle,
but a lot, a lot of diet soda.
And now I've replaced it all with that LaCroix stuff.
LaCroix.
Like it, and now I like it better.
Like I bought myself Diet Pepsi today and I had like maybe five drinks of it.
I'm like, what what did they change the formula
this doesn't taste like the thing that I used to love guzzling down like by the gallon bite it has
from the carbonation like like if you just have yeah but then like LaCroix is is let me show you
what I let me show I want to like really rub in my unhealthiness let me show you the potato chips
that I got okay yeah I'm that I'm with Kyle on that like i i don't remember the last time i've had a soda
but like the one soda i'll have like once in a blue moon i bet it's been since june or something
and i'll get like i'll see a coke that made with real sugar and i'm like oh that should be my cheat
for the week and look at that that's gigantic i got the fiesta pack. You got a Costco? Yeah. That is a lot of
chips. I ate four bags.
How did you get fat? You were fat at one
point. There was a Kyle that weighed
235. We talked about this on the last show.
It was a combination of things. It was
a perfect storm of
inactivity and incredibly large
meals. Like I'd go to Taco Bell,
get myself $25 worth of food,
sit there, eat it all while playing skyrim
sleep late into the day and just multiple meals of bullshit i was also into that phase where i
really like to make the gigantic gourmet sandwiches that would be like three tiered and i'd eat
multiple of those and uh red bull phase to go through red bull sent me uh red bull sent me like
four cases of red bull like like big cases of it for a thing I did
for them, and I was just drinking that
for fun of it. What did you do for Red Bull?
I pimped a video of theirs, and it
really helped. I got them an extra 300,000
views or something like that.
I was drinking all that Red Bull,
just tons of sugar, and Pepsi
just had come out with real sugar Pepsi,
and I loved it so much that I
bought eight cases of that.
You know how on cribs you go to someone's house,
and their fridge is stocked in a way that it probably normally isn't
with like sodas.
They got like eight Coca-Colas perfectly over there and four Sprite.
Yeah, I'd like to have all these drinks with the bitches.
I did that with like all these Pepsis and Red Bulls and stuff.
And that was when I first discovered Ben & Jerry's Red Velvet ice cream.
And so Kitty likes to get the things that I like and be on top of things,
like something she enjoys.
So multiple pints of that.
It was a perfect storm of unhealthiness.
I'm just more active now.
I jog.
I eat one or two meals a day, not four or five. it was a perfect storm of unhealthiness that, uh, you know, I'm just more active now. I jog. Um,
I,
I don't,
I,
I eat one or two meals a day,
not four or five.
And,
uh,
I don't go to Taco Bell anymore.
I eat two meals a day and every so often I'll have a breakfast too,
but now,
now my breakfast is,
uh,
I,
I went ahead and got a new toaster because I've been eating so much toast with,
with butter jam.
Oh,
that butter jam. Oh, it's so good. It's Wilkin
and Sons red scarlet strawberry jelly.
It's these very tiny strawberries, like smaller than a grape. And they used
to exist here in North America, but now they're extinct. And the Wilkinson family imported
them to England, and now it's the only place where they exist. There are 50 of them in
every small jar and
they're extra flavorful and sweet.
You don't buy that, right? Everything I'm saying
is true. Yeah, I do buy it. I absolutely do.
I buy it in bulk. There are so many jars
of it. There are so many things they can afford
to sell. It's lots of people in bulk because there's no shortage.
He was saying
you don't believe that.
It's true.
They're called Little Scarlet Strawberries. Do some Google searching on this's true. They're called Little Scarlet Strawberries.
Do some Google searching on this. This is all factual.
Little Scarlet Strawberries.
It's on the internet, Taylor.
I should have listened.
Tiny, tiny, flavorful, and extra
sweet strawberries. I have their strawberry
jam, not as good as the Red
Scarlet Strawberry Jam. I also have the
Morello Cherry Jam from them.
Look at this. This is hilarious.
Little Scarlet is, according to Wilkin and
Sons Limited, a strawberry.
Of course it's a strawberry.
It says the tiny berry is approximately
one-fifth the size of a strawberry of today, similar
in size to the alpine or wood strawberry.
The plant was brought to Britain in the 1900s by
Wilkin, and this is a
very short Wikipedia I'm scouring through to see.
Well, it is a fucking strawberry. What did you expect, like a bibliography?
Well, I mean, if I looked up any other plant, there's going to be pages of the different kinds.
Bullshit.
It was just funny the way they phrased it.
This is the different kind.
This is a very fancy variety of strawberry that's extra sweet and delicious.
These are expensive.
They are expensive.
Okay, I trust you.
They're absolutely delicious.
And what I do is I take a tablespoon of butter,
about three tablespoons of strawberry jam,
put it in a bowl, microwave it for 30 seconds,
stir it all together, and I smear that on my toast.
I have four pieces of toast and two large cups of coffee for breakfast.
Jesus. Next time we actually are together, I'm going to be my toast. I have four pieces of toast and two large cups of coffee for breakfast. Jesus.
Next time we actually are together, I'm going to be MyFitnessPaling everything you eat.
I've been doing it.
It's awful.
Like with my Wendy's meals, like I've been showing you guys the receipts.
Like I get two combos from Wendy's.
You know, the drinks alone are like 700 calories of just root beer.
Keep track between now and PKA.
Not on everything you order,
just on the stuff that you
enter in.
Yeah, I did that. It fluctuates between
like 2,400 and 3,800
calories a day.
Okay.
It's an ungodly amount of bullshit.
It's not too bad at all.
Some days I sleep really late.
Yeah. You guys on the call show.
Yeah. I wonder what
I might weigh in tomorrow.
Alright, PKN episode 169.