Painkiller Already - PKN #170

Episode Date: December 1, 2017

It's PKN time baby! ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 All right, PKN170. We were just talking already. Oh, look at my hair. I've got helmet hair. I just landed. I wouldn't have been able to tell. It looks pretty good. Yeah, you know what?
Starting point is 00:00:12 That's the thing about hair, though, right? Like, I've had other people tell me, like, oh, my hair is a total mess. And I'm like, well, actually, it's like 90% what it normally is. I don't pay that much attention to your hair. But to me, there are clearly many out of place. Whatever, hair. Sexual assault. normally is i don't pay that much attention to your hair but to me there are clearly many out of place i i whatever hair uh sexual hair is your really is your hair really long right now no because you look like you have that uh you know that hip new look that's coming back in the the neo-nazi crowd yeah yeah yeah kind of shaved on the side and pushed back yeah yeah yeah i saw something on twitter where a bunch of like women
Starting point is 00:00:47 accounts like because someone had said something it was the news like oh this new alt-right hairstyle or something and a bunch of chicks were commenting like no that ain't fair that's a really hot hair dude no that can't happen that's how i feel about it too i like that hairstyle oh is it the fuck boy hairstyle no it's where your hairstyle over here is much shorter and then a little longer. It's helpful for people. I don't have it, but for people with very broad heads, it would probably help with the slimming effect. That sounds like the fuckboy hairstyle. Now, is the part also like where it's shaved?
Starting point is 00:01:18 Oh, no, it's not like a line of shaved. No, I don't think so. Here, I'm going to Google it. I don't want a fuckboy haircut here i'm gonna i'm gonna google it fuck boy haircut what is a fuck boy what is this fuck boy dude can i if i ask my barber for that will she will she know what's up well i don't know about your barber because i've been getting this japanese lady to cut my hair for the last couple times and and i just don't think if i said fuck boy she'd she'd know what i meant ma'am can think if i said fuck boy she'd she'd
Starting point is 00:01:45 know what i meant ma'am can you give me the fuck boy hairstyle oh so the same as every week i'll show you what the fuck boy haircut is and to be honest i hate the name i don't hate the haircut it it's a pretty clean cut to me talking about it doesn't have it doesn't have this line yeah that line is not as stylized it It's a little exaggerated on this guy. But, you know, sometimes, basically, it's just where the part would be. It's up to there. Brennan Schwab rocked it for a while. And I think Boy...
Starting point is 00:02:14 That really is every soccer player on the planet's hairstyle. I think Boy is supposed to be B-O-I. But, you know, I'm not really in the loop. I'm just... None of us are very well versed in the fuck boy loop apparently we didn't even know the hairstyle yeah but i don't like that it's like if uh really antifa tried to take no no i mean i don't like like some fringe movement trying to co-opt a good looking style you know oh like if the antifa people were suddenly like wearing like
Starting point is 00:02:43 really nice shoes and and nice patent leather shoes became associated with them you'd have to be like no that's not cool no i'm wearing my shoes out you can't you can't have those yeah you guys had dreadlocks leave reasonable looks alone they can have those right dreadlocks look fucking horrible on white people on black people uh i've never seen an asian person with it but that doesn't i imagine it would look bad like it's just a it's a monument to dirtiness i hate i'll tell you who should be skinheads uh one people balding at all but especially people balding in unflattering balding patterns right right? Like Costanza. Like who? Oh, George Costanza?
Starting point is 00:03:27 Like the half donut. Yeah, so he had that typical male pattern baldness. But what's worse, and I worked with a guy who had this, and he shaved his head brilliantly, but he was evolving towards male pattern baldness, which is that like horseshoe along the back, but it started on the top. So there was a stage where he had like a
Starting point is 00:03:46 unicorn of hair out the top front and he's like anything you attempt to do with this is not going to be a win you know some guys hang on to that unicorn too long and comb it over comb it back or try to do things with it he he just shaved and and it was good also i think this is just woody speaking if you're gonna shave your your head like skinhead bald it's beneficial to be a really bulky strong guy if you're if you have my upper body build have a beard oh yeah but if you have my like i'm kind of thin up top and strong in the legs uh that's not the best bald look so something you get what you get but if you could choose i'd rather have that taylor would be a better skinhead than me well i mean at this rate i'll be bald before you you know it looks like you've you've passed that ridge
Starting point is 00:04:38 in adulthood where it's like if this to happen, it would have started by now. My dad's in that same boat where his hair is really gray compared to your hair. But it's like, yeah, he's not going to lose any hair, is he? No, probably not. I can't tell if I'm losing any. I don't think so. But I do see flecks of gray coming in on the sides. I have that too. Yeah, I'm not as worried about it as I would be losing hair.
Starting point is 00:05:05 How bald would you have to go in order for you to just do the skinhead thing? I guess Kyle, because it's still in the cards for you. Yeah, you know, until it starts looking bad, I guess. You know, like it would just be an aesthetic that I was like,
Starting point is 00:05:19 ah, it doesn't look good. You know, it would have to, eh, whenever it looks bad, I think would be the answer i've met kyle's father and i think he just like a little widow's peak right like it comes back a little further yeah yeah yeah he's 64 now i want to say and uh it's receded a little but like it's certainly not like i mean he's got all of this like it's just it's probably went back an inch and a half or something like that i would say yeah it's got to go back some
Starting point is 00:05:50 as you get older your headline looks weird if it doesn't go back at all and his was gray like i i don't remember i i i gotta go way back in my memory to remember his him it used to be jet black like like just jet black but it's been salt and pepper since he was like 35, I would say. And I'm okay with that. I've got a little bit of gray like down here on my beard. Really? Yeah, yeah. And I got a little bit of gray like around the sides a little bit, like in there.
Starting point is 00:06:19 And I'm digging it. I'm pretty happy about it. I think that's going to really aid me in some of my future endeavors. I hope so. My beard has grayed in what I consider an unflattering way. Don't get me more wrong. Your beard is a great level of gray.
Starting point is 00:06:37 If Jackie hadn't poisoned your mind like the ring in Smeagol's possession, you would be able to look at yourself in the mirror and go, God damn, does I look good? Why is this corrupting your self-esteem with your flawed ideal i it really is like you you have a fantastic beard i bet it is annoying that she doesn't let you do it oh i don't see it that way and she's like oh i wish my upper body was big and bulky like he likes to get a big chin implant I know brothers have he really finds that sexy if she's had one she's clipping hair off the tips and
Starting point is 00:07:17 happy trailing it up or something you know one one area of my body I know I'm going to have to start getting groomed is in probably like 10, 15 years when it starts to get out of control are the eyebrows. You think? I've been waxing my eyebrows since I was in high school. I don't wax my eyes.
Starting point is 00:07:40 I don't wax anything. Maybe I should. Maybe that's a good idea. But my eyebrows, I will be that old fucker with the long tendrils of eyelashes if I don't get it taken care of as an adult. Can I jump in here? Because I've gone the opposite direction. I would say high school Woody had eyebrows similar to either you or Kyle, right?
Starting point is 00:08:00 Somewhere in that mix. 44-year-old Woody, these are like lightened up or something and my eyebrow thinning is this the one area where i'm balding i look at me and i'm like woody look at me i've got two-thirds of an eyebrow cooking here right and there is hair there like you can pull it and stuff but like visually if you're into that visually it's like two-thirds of an eyebrow. That's what I look like. Am I losing eyebrow hair, or is everything just more surprising now? You start drawing them on.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Have you seen those ladies who don't have them, and they've just got them drawn on? That's not the way we're going. No, no. I will just get what I got, and everything will be fine. I do like to keep my hair short, but that's unrelated It's because I wear helmets so much. Yeah, I feel like it can't get messed up if it's short enough Yeah, having long hair is a guy. I don't think is good
Starting point is 00:08:53 I think it's a good look for one and also I hate the feeling of hair that stays wet for more than two towel rubs You know like I like to be able to get dry in There's nothing worse also getting in the car to like leave for the morning and realizing that you forgot to dry this whole area of your face and you just have beard water dripping onto you i hate because like that that area gets cold all of a sudden if i don't if i don't like dry my neck beard off you know one issue i have with my hair is really thick i've talked about it before when my wife used to cut it people would get um splinters like if my hair was left on the ground it sticks in your feet and you have to pull out with tweezers it's like yeah i i empathize i know what you mean yeah so uh
Starting point is 00:09:33 but it's also very insulating i just i've only had my own hair but i suspect more than most people like it keeps me warm and uh so i like to cut it so i because it gets like it's hot under this like fucking rug of hair that i that i wear around all the time so you cut it nice and then like oh yeah a little breeze going on it's better so i never noticed too much insulation unless i let it get like when my hair gets to the point where it starts to get curly that's when i know that it's about three weeks past when i should have gotten a haircut and i start to look more and more like i'd be into skateboarding but uh but nay nay i am not it's about the heat like the heat is one of the big things that i notice like oh my god it's fucking
Starting point is 00:10:18 oppressive under this rug and i cut it shorter and then then also I never gets early. Does it? No, it just keeps like a chia pet. Like it just keeps going further out in straight directions all the time. Now I've gelled it and combed it so long. It kind of does this like regardless when I take this headset off, you can't see it in the camera very well,
Starting point is 00:10:38 but I will like very distinct, like inverted sideways Mohawk that goes in there. There's mine like crazy long wow how old are you in that picture that was like uh three months ago oh okay well for people that don't know that the phone almost completely covered his face it just showed his hair so it wasn't easy to see his well that's an edited photo there was more skin showing in the rest of the photo you zoomed in just right that you've been cultivating oh yes oh yes just just just is there a dick in that photo if it was zoomed out okay maybe well i mean maybe i mean he's not he's not gonna just take a topless photo in the bathroom
Starting point is 00:11:22 you go whole hog with that. You know, if I was, let's say I'm hypothetically like 26 and on the scene, I swear to God I would be taking like me undies shots. Like I feel like that's the most flattering. Like it really does put your junk like on it. It kind of lifts it, supports it, displays it in such a way. Get it out. Get it out there. Let it breathe it displays it in such a way get it out Look I think yeah that guy needs his dick and balls tight under wraps because he's about to do some jumping or moving or uh-huh Running any second now he could grab a football and go for a 39 yard run. You don't know that's just the kind of guy
Starting point is 00:12:01 This is You don't know. That's just the kind of guy this is. Yeah, you can tell from my underwear I'm active. Don't you see that it says 360-degree cool on there? I don't want to be all talk, and 80% of PKA things don't come into fruition, but I'm seriously thinking about playing ice hockey this year.
Starting point is 00:12:21 Are you worried about the ankle at all? I'm cleared for stick and puck. And then from there like we'll just see let's do some hard turns and see what's up but uh something about a hockey boot being as supportive as it is um makes me it makes it one of the better choices for me yeah and you can always like get your shin guard down there on top of the tongue and like really tape it sturdier than usual yeah that's what i do there's there There's also these things you can get. I don't know what they're called because they were built into goalie skates, but they're like
Starting point is 00:12:49 these fenders, these hard plastic fenders that you can attach to the side of your skate to keep your foot from getting broken if you catch a really hard shot. It's one of those things that like most NHL players don't use them and most like high level hockey players, but it's more of like the same reason that they didn't use them, and most high-level hockey players, but it's more of the same reason
Starting point is 00:13:05 that they didn't use visors until recently. Like, oh, I'm way tougher. I'll take a puck to the foot. Is it like training wheels for your skates? Because I could really use that if there were two wheels that came out. So it's two extra blades? So you've got three blades on it?
Starting point is 00:13:20 No, it's just something to... Because if you... You may not realize this, Kyle, but if you were skating around and you got that hard hockey skate on and you take a puck to the foot it's not like a oh bother it's like a oh fuck like it it'll it's night ruining if you're not in the nhl like just fuck it get off the ice like i think i've always used hockey skates over the figure skates because they seemed gay and more difficult to use as well. When I played hockey, it used to be that if you came early or stayed late, the other team could pick you up, right? Like Taylor knows, like nine people is not a very good number for a hockey team.
Starting point is 00:14:00 But if you get a tenth, all of a sudden the line changes start working. You know, it's much better. So I would go would go and be like oh so you got 11 players there lines were sure would be better if you had 12 huh and uh and they and i would play anyway first period of the game some guy hit my foot broke it in two places and uh but that was the game before mine so i played five more periods on a broken foot and uh with the boot tight it's manageable but yeah you just can't take it off yeah then that's when it all starts yeah that's when it all starts but you played five periods on a broken foot in a men's league that's like what you hear about after playoff series like oh you know turns out petrangelo had a broken hand the entire time pretty impressive he kept coming out there in fairness in in the league i played in they uh it was a run clock except for the last two minutes of the game so a 20 minute period takes 20 minutes
Starting point is 00:14:54 as opposed to when they stop the clock constantly where like every 20 minutes is an hour or something silly it's not icing just let us play it yeah yeah so uh, yeah, I was thinking of playing hockey this winter. I need to check the PKA, PKN schedule and find a league that doesn't play on our nights. But I just think I'd really like that. I think it'd be pretty cool. One of the things at leagues I'm looking at around here is so many of them are Thursday night. Really? But there are some Saturday night ones too ones too which not as appealing but even worse
Starting point is 00:15:27 around here what you get is they're like oh yeah this plague we you know this league sometimes we play like monday tuesday thursday fridays or sundays like really so you just can't do anything like no one can go to school at night and play in this league because every so often it'll step on that night no one could have a job no one could like you just fucking play five different days of the week and i just planned my life around having wednesdays open like this is what that you can do right that you can find like a wednesday night league and my skill level so i used to play a league now this is north carolina it might be less competitive than like other places but i was in in the bottom half. But when I played B, I was in the better half. Now, I think like if I were to come back,
Starting point is 00:16:10 I'd be a good C player. Like I think that might be where I land because I'm older and I'm rusty. I'd rather be good in the C league than struggling in the A league. It's a mix, right? So the problem with being good in the C League is that, one, it can be hard not to be selfish.
Starting point is 00:16:29 Like every pass is just a waste. You know, like I pass it to you. You can't even receive a pass. Why pass to you? And, you know, I don't know. I like having good teammates. I like having great teammates. The ones that pass to you and you can just close your eyes and it hits your tape.
Starting point is 00:16:48 That's amazing. If you pass to me really hard, there's a chance I'll fuck it up. I might just even deflect it in front of me and go catch it because I can do that really consistently. But we had ex-NHL guys in the A-Leagueague and they would hit your tape so hard and so well that like a mannequin could catch this pass like you didn't have to do anything and yeah I like that a lot you know I like that I remember like when we do drills like and we'd have NHLers at our practice sometimes and like you're right they would pass to you so hard that as a kid, like, you're like, is he mad at me? Like, he just shot that puck at me so hard and we're just playing catch.
Starting point is 00:17:30 But then you realize, oh, no, that's just how an adult man. Yeah. Did this for a living. And that it's like an eye opener to also see, like, it's not all the NHLers that would come to our practice. We're always like all stars. Like some of them would be like, oh, that guy. Right. That guy who was in the league for like six years and never really made that much he was more of just kind of an agitator and then you
Starting point is 00:17:47 watch them play a bit with normal people and it's like oh so even the worst dude in that league could make could go to europe and or go in the khl and in russia and make them look bad like this guy was an nhl player but that was 23 years ago and when he skates it still sounds different than when i skate it's something else like slices and pushes and and mine sort of slides or bullshits or something like they're very good and uh yeah and they're yeah these guys are just and like i said it was a long time ago one of the best players i played against had played in the AHL the year before. So he was like the him. And one thing about that guy is he always like, he would fuck with you.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Like NHL players usually had nothing to prove. They passed a lot. They tried to make their team win, but without like scoring seven goals on their own. This guy was all about scoring seven goals by himself. Like he hadn't really lived his glory yet so he was gonna get it in a north carolina men's league i'm tired of playing for the fucking charlotte checkers or whatever
Starting point is 00:18:53 so let me get in there and just embarrass this 36 year old accountant goalie his wife's over there filming all of this, making a highlight reel to send to NHL teams. But what was fun... Just huge hits. So he would do dipsy doodle stuff. He'd try to put it through your legs and then take it back. Not a pass through your legs. That's only a low level of embarrassing.
Starting point is 00:19:17 He needs to pass to himself through your legs or something. And he could break it up a lot because he's doing hard to do stuff so even a decent player could sometimes disrupt his trick show but uh but yeah i don't know i was thinking of playing hockey again just as a way to be active and have fun and see what's up you should if they clear you for it give it a go as long as it's not you know a monday tuesday wednesday thursday and saturday week i'll have to and where i was going at with my skill level is I feel like I can find a league that fits. Somewhere in the three rinks around here, being open to B and C, there has to be a league that works.
Starting point is 00:19:56 So we'll see what's up. I don't know. But I think it'd be fun to play hockey again. I can't do worse than the Flyers. Yeah, the Flyers are fucking terrible this year and uh some i think he was on the flyers i'll have to go back and check maybe the flames flames are flyers but this this complete retard tried to pull so he got in a fight with someone on the flames it might have been the flyers and it got into be a bit of a kerfuffle i mean a lot of people went
Starting point is 00:20:21 towards the benches where the benches meet and they're fighting and the ref threw the one guy off from the flyers i believe and the guy got like halfway down that tunnel and then heard like a taunt from one of the flames still on the ice and so he was like you know i'm not having that so he goes back and he steps back out on the ice which is like i've never seen that show that you know this is a rule this is clearly a rule once the ref says all right get out of here you know you have to leave you can't be like you know unfinished business and so he comes back out on the ice and keeps fighting the guy and then uh they throw him off again and he acted all surprised and did like the i didn't know i was breaking any rules thing when they're like hey yeah you're suspended for 10 games which means you forfeit about half a million dollars in salary
Starting point is 00:21:03 but wait they have another guy who's suspended for 10 games it's means you forfeit about half a million dollars in salary. But wait, they have another guy who's suspended for 10 games. It's not possible you're combining these, is it? The guy who got suspended for 10 games, it was because he got back on the ice. He was the guy who got fucked big time. The guy on the Flames got suspended for one game, Matthew Kachuk. Okay, the Flyers have another guy. His last name starts with a G, like Gephardt or something. And basically what happened is the puck's by the boards,
Starting point is 00:21:28 and they're like, you know, everyone's sort of wrestling forward. It's physical, as you'd expect. And the guy on the other team hit him, like, below the chest protector and kind of like where your liver, bottom of your ribs would be. And he cross-checks him a couple times, which is illegal, but as is typical for hockey, like you can get away with it a little. And so what the Flyers guy does is he lifts the other guy's leg. He puts a stick by his ankle.
Starting point is 00:21:53 That's what it lifts his leg up high. Now he's got his stick up high like an axe. And then he chops it down on the back of the other person's head. I saw that. Yeah. And he's suspended for 10 games games and it's not half a million it's like 450 000 so it made me think that maybe you combined the two events but uh yeah i didn't know that gudas the guy who did that slash got got 10 games for it he probably should though
Starting point is 00:22:18 because that was one of those moves that you watch and it's like that that could have somebody could have died or been paralyzed on the ice right there because there's a gap between the back of your helmet and your fucking chest protector your back protector whatever which is very light there's nothing there and he you could see him like with accuracy try to be like fuck you come down so hard on him you can see the guy on his back and it's like they're all professional hockey players so they're probably some of the toughest of professional athletes. And he's laying on the ground like, ah! Ah!
Starting point is 00:22:51 No one? Like, Jesus Christ. Dude, so the guy, when he slashed him, was kind of off balance, right? But if I'm reading the situation right, this is a professional athlete who was like, I think I can pull this off as if it were an accident. That's what he was doing. Exactly. Like,
Starting point is 00:23:10 like, like they never get away with it in hockey. Like there's some sports where you'll see a guy do something dirty. You're like, Oh shit. They didn't see it. You're like in professional wrestling. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:19 They miss a lot. Oddly. They miss all the dirty shit. You know, the guy will literally get a chair in the ring and deck the other guy and then they'll sneak the chair out and the ref will turn around and count him out like you don't see the chair you hear the bong like but in hockey it's like and in any professional sport really like like basketball i occasionally see him get away with like some
Starting point is 00:23:38 elbows or something or something in the in the back court when the action's up front you know some dirty move but in hockey there's he's got like a seven-foot-long stick that he's whacking the other guy in the head with. You're not getting away with that. I don't know the other sports as well, but hockey has a, like the league has a board that works with the Players Association, and they look at these games after the fact.
Starting point is 00:23:57 You can say, hey, that play, go look at it and see if he deserves a suspension. It seems like in most other sports, once the bell rings or buzzer sounds or whatever it is, that game is over. We all put it in the past, right? It doesn't matter that that guy was punching the other one in the jaw in the middle of a huddle.
Starting point is 00:24:14 Like, no, no, that was yesterday. Why would we let... Not hockey. In hockey, they look at this shit and they take action the following day. It's normal. They really have to. It's too dangerous if not.
Starting point is 00:24:23 But that thing I just linked, Woody, go to like five seconds and you can see quickly the slash and then they point it out and you can see Gudos, the flyer guy, pretending like, oh, oops. This I think is actually exactly the video that I've seen already.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Come on, it's like he's chopping wood. Right? He was. He hit him in the back of the neck like he was like like he was trying to make some firewood for on a cold day if you go you know this is not very cool here look the way on my screen anyway you can see that the agitating i was talking about you know the yeah that where the guy is uh he's just sort of getting him under the ribs and he's he's rough him up he tears his helmet off so yeah dude this move where he lifts his leg and then slashes him in the head i've got a thing appropriate it is it is this is inappropriate but stick flexes he hits him so hard. So it does. I'm playing hockey.
Starting point is 00:25:28 This is like 15 years ago or something, right? And I'm on these woodworking forums. And it just so happens there's an ex-professional hockey player on these woodworking forums. And I was like, I'm in this men's no-check league, and I'm getting bullied. Like, this really sucks. And I'm getting bullied. Like, this really sucks. And the guy is like, he gives me like half a dozen moves on how to return this bullying. You know, like all sorts of like, first you pass him.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Yeah, like, you know, like, hey, when you're entering the zone, dump the puck against the boards, right? You're both going to race towards that puck trying to be the guy that gets it. Now you have him in the vulnerable position that you're looking for. Pull his feet out just as he approaches the boards. If you do this correctly, he hits the boards before he hits the ice, and it'll totally take the wind out of his sails. He's like, here's another one. As you're approaching the end, push the puck up in front of you as if you didn't have a good grip on it.
Starting point is 00:26:23 When he goes by the uh the glass divider where the bench is check him into that and and but he laid out all of these step by step revenge things i could do that opened my eyes like because i'm not a real hockey player right so i'm just like well i guess uh you know when he's like 30 feet from me i'll just run straight at him as fast as i can that was like my big idea this guy had all sorts of setups to to accomplish this so the way that he lifted him by the foot and slashed him i wonder if this is a setup that like to him is a is a sequence that he's aware of because players have them he swung that that stick down like you know like when a japanese general has been has disgraced himself he'll he'll do harry carry or whatever he'll he'll disembowel
Starting point is 00:27:12 himself but he's always got a standby guy right next to him to like quickly chop his head off to like put him out of his misery immediately he swung the stick like he was the standby guy lopping this guy's head off like if if it's in a samurai sword, clean. Just take it clean off. Then he has the indignation to be like, I don't understand why is anyone even upset? They're only standing. He's fine.
Starting point is 00:27:36 They're even winning the game. I think it was when McSorley hit Brashear, right? So if people don't know, in the game McSorley and Brashear were kind of mixing it up. And McSorley wanted to fight Brashear. Amongst enforcers, there's an honor code that says you're supposed to fight. And Brashear, right? So if people don't know, in the game, McSorley and Brashear were kind of mixing it up. And McSorley wanted to fight Brashear. Amongst enforcers, there's an honor code that says you're supposed to fight. And Brashear is like, you know what? I just choose not to. You're really tough. And I am too, but why bother? We're winning this game. So McSorley is trying to like agitate, like trying to say
Starting point is 00:27:59 hey, hey, we're supposed to, you can't not fight. We're both enforcers. That's what we do. You can't not fight. So he both enforcers. That's what we do. You can't not fight. So he taps him on the side with his stick, like maybe on the elbow, on the shoulder or whatever. And then eventually he hits him in the side of the head. Now he's wearing a helmet, but he hits him on the side of the head. Brashear loses his balance for a moment
Starting point is 00:28:18 and then hits his head on the back of the ice. His helmet's so loose. Now it's just bare head on the ice. And I don't know if everyone here has fallen on the ice before, but it's unusually hard. It seems like it's worse than concrete. There's a clip you're talking about. It gives not at all.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Yeah, it doesn't give at all. I'm trying to show this clip. Oh, it's seven seconds. Perfect. Uh-oh. So this just shows the... Oh, he's dead now. This just shows the hit. His career career is over it was over after that but if you watch his his bare head hits the back of the ice i'm gonna like sort of loop it for
Starting point is 00:28:52 people watching and um his defense was that he was trying to hit the guy on the shoulder that's what he says he's like i was you know like i didn't mean to hit him in the head like that i was just trying to tap him on the shoulder. And the judge had the greatest quote. I'll fuck it up, but it was something like, you didn't miss. You hit exactly where you were trying to hit. He's like, if I was
Starting point is 00:29:16 trying to hit him on the shoulder with my stick, I could have. This is the judge talking. If an old lady beating a carpet with a broom was trying to hit that, she would get her mark. A professional hockey player in no way missed his shoulder by a foot. You hit him in the head because you were trying to. And that somehow circles back to Gebhardt, right?
Starting point is 00:29:36 He's like, oh, I lost my balance and chopped the – and fucking Ned Starked him, right? No, you didn't. No, you didn't. You're a professional hockey player. And the players, we didn't listen to the audio on the show, but they were like, hey, even if it was an accident, you're responsible for your stick. So they suspended him. He's a repeat offender too, which is why he got 10 games.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Yeah, they really take repeat offenders serious. That one guy last year got suspended for like 12 games, and his excuse was that he was discombobulated because he got hit hard uh in his own zone and was like getting up a little odd clearly not like totally out of it and as he was skating back to his bench there was a ref in the way and he just for some reason just plowed into the ref and knocked this poor fucking ref right on his ass and he hit his head on the ice and he just kept skating off the ice as though that's something you do and uh he tried to play it up for weeks of like you know i didn't
Starting point is 00:30:28 even i was so out of it i didn't realize that was a ref that i was totally and you weren't buying it because i'm halfway buying it i was like uh no because i've seen a lot of players get concussed and i've never seen one assault a ref they do it in mma a lot kyle i'm sure you've seen it yeah there's only two people there and you're just very concussed though and they're it in mma a lot kyle i'm sure you've seen it yeah yeah there's only two people there and you're just very concussed though and they're already in the you know like like it's they're like so close like like you usually see the other guy like they're knocked out for a flash and then the people swap like his opponent runs away with his arms in the air celebrating and then there's the ref's legs yeah so he like tries to do a take down on the ref or something a heel hook here yeah yeah and i've been that i've done that it wasn't a ref
Starting point is 00:31:11 but it was an instructor guy choked me out i was completely unconscious and uh i've told the story before i don't know what's going on in my head i'm i'm still trying to work my way out of the situation it turns out the instructor saw this, saw my neck bent in a way that necks aren't supposed to bend, ends it, and then I come to. But in my head, I was blind because my eyes were closed. I didn't see what was going on, but I was still working on it. And I'm like, all right, let's get right back to this. So I start trying to take the instructor down.
Starting point is 00:31:44 And then it was when I noticed that he had a black belt. And it was like, hey, this right, let's get right back to this. So I start trying to take the instructor down. And then it was when I noticed that he had a black belt that it was like, hey, this isn't the same guy. I must have kicked the other guy's ass in there. I'm going to you. Round two. Speaking of MMA, did you see who the main event for UFC 219 is December 30th? Is it Holly Holm versus Sengar? Yeah, it's Cyborg.
Starting point is 00:32:04 Yeah, Cyborg, yeah. What's her name? Something Zingano? I forget her real name. Chris Cyborg versus Holly Holm. Cyborg is her nickname. I thought Cyborg's her last fucking name. Uh-huh. I could have sworn that her last name was
Starting point is 00:32:20 just Cyborg. She's called that. That sounds a little insane now, i i thought her name was literally chris cyborg is it chris zangano i i literally i thought that was a different fighter now oh venecio maybe i thought i i think her last name's like actually fucking cyborg I always did that's clearly a nickname her name I thought her last name was cyborg she goes by Chris cyborg her name appears to be Christine Justino Venancio or she should change it to Chris cyborg formerly Christina
Starting point is 00:33:01 Christine Santos which I think is what I had in my head. But anyway, I'm sorry. Formally John Williams. The Taylor, if you don't know her name, she's the female who is like clearly, clearly juicing. She's very strong. She's got a man size skull.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Yeah. She's got a gorilla size skull. She's there's some great eight mixed into that. She's a, she's taking a Holly home, though. Man, if Holly hadn't lost three out of her last four or whatever, I would...
Starting point is 00:33:31 I would really want to be on home side with this thing. I still think it's a good bet to put some money on Holly home because the odds are four to one or something. They were very good. Chris Cyberg looks like a world beater.
Starting point is 00:33:48 Of course, her physique is out of this world. A lot of guys would like to have that physique. She's got that going on. Her skills look good, but she's kind of a can crusher. She has an amazing record and she looks absolutely dominant against people
Starting point is 00:34:04 who shouldn't be in the ring with her, mostly. She's other stuff like she's fought top level muay thai guys in muay thai not mma and lost but i admire her to get in there you know and then holly holmes on the other hand fights only world beaters right she loses sometimes but she's the one who took out ronda rousey she's the one in there with like really top people and Betche too. And Holly Holmes as a boxer was like a world champion and highly decorated. Maybe the high, I've heard the most highly decorated female boxer ever, but I don't know female boxing well enough to confirm it's true or not. The only other one I know is Ali's daughter.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Yeah, me too. Yeah. So anyway, Cyborg is going, that. So, anyway, Cyborg is going against a smaller opponent, someone who really should be at 135, but a very skilled person. And Cyborg typically just rushes at you and punches you like mad. Holly Holmes is outstanding
Starting point is 00:34:57 at dealing with that. So, let's watch. Yeah, for sure. I'll tell you this about Cyborg. She looked slow in that last fight and her opponent was garbage. There's a shocker. They dug up, you know, for the 145 pound belt,
Starting point is 00:35:14 you know, the first 145 pound women's fight ever in the UFC anyway. They put her up against this... The girl was overweight. She was out of shape like she had like fat rolls coming out of her shorts and stuff and it was like and She lasted for at least two rounds maybe three
Starting point is 00:35:36 And she had a lot of heart and just kept going cyborg couldn't put that chick away. I don't know I I like Holly in this fight because i just felt like cyborg looks slow and uh really one-dimensional and i know that she's like undefeated and just out outrageously big and strong but i don't know holly's a good striker probably kicks her in the fucking head a time or two and it's game over i've never seen cyborg's ground game but i was gonna say if her you know she's a complete MMA fighter and she's going against Holly, then maybe she'll win that way. But Ronda
Starting point is 00:36:09 Rousey didn't win that way, and I've seen her ground game lots of times. It's outstanding. And not only did Holly prevent her from getting taken down, she took down Ronda once or twice. So Holly's not a bad bet in this. It'd be fun to watch. Yeah, I like Holly in the fight.
Starting point is 00:36:25 I don't know how those betting sites work. If I could just plunk down some money on Holly, I think I'd put $100 on Holly with the odds the way they are. Because I think if you went... I think it was 4-1. I could be wrong. I looked at it a couple days ago. But I remember thinking, that's pretty fucking good.
Starting point is 00:36:42 We'll see. Yeah, that'd be interesting. I don't know if that's going to be a big card for them right because although the second fight is uh habib um fighting someone whose name i can't remember right now barboza maybe i don't remember who it is but big ish right because i'm sorry you keep going i only care about habib like i really want to see the fucking eagle fight. I want to see that.
Starting point is 00:37:07 It's been like a year since he beat up Michael Johnson or whatever. I want to see. They said he got him a nutritionist and that he'll be able to make weight without his liver failing this time. Apparently he's like 12 pounds lighter than he normally is at this point out. So he's in better shape. I don't want Habib to be champ. I like Habib on my TV, but not as my champ because he's Muslim,
Starting point is 00:37:30 which means that he doesn't eat during the daytime for like four months. It's some ridiculous period of time. For Ramadan. And then only one month? Well, if it is only one month, you might be right. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. But it impacts the sport in a big way because they're like, well, during this month I can't do anything. So I can't have my training camp.
Starting point is 00:37:51 No, they don't eat well enough to do a training camp. So the fight can't be during that month, of course. It can't be the month after because that's when training – it can't be the month after the month after because then that would impact the first four weeks of his training. It needs. So there's like a four month block that it can't be because there's a month where he doesn't eat during the day. And I don't want that in my champ. I, uh,
Starting point is 00:38:14 Rogan was talking about detrimental. When is Ramadan? I don't know when Ramadan is. That's always the time of year when the terrorist attacks tick up. No, it's when they take down. Those guys are hungry. No, you're wrong.
Starting point is 00:38:27 May 15th to June 14th is Ramadan. Oh, it's a month thing. Ah, my belly. Never blow something up on Intistam. I know you tell me last time, Ahmed, I will kill you if you change schedule
Starting point is 00:38:43 on another suicide bombing, I promise. But you may have to come here and kill me then because I can't make it out today I'm doing horrible yeah but we haven't eaten in three weeks this whole Hakeem Olajuwon used to have like a bad period in there because he didn't eat during during the daytime if I remember any good for a lighter to just suddenly shock your system like that right so not only is the guy made of glass and miss half his half of his fights but he's missed weight twice so that's an issue and then he can't fight for like a third of the year because of ramadan so that's an issue and it's like fuck don't just hold up the belt i'll tell you what he missed weight
Starting point is 00:39:20 twice and he has a month a year he doesn't even eat you'd think that'd be yeah you think that'd be mutual exclusive yeah he's become a meme already like they uh they mock him for eating tiramisu and like tiramisu's this whole meme about fighters missing weight and he's uh yeah he missed weight badly and uh like nearly killed himself trying to make weight like a day like maybe the day before weigh-ins day day or two out, his kidneys failed. And I don't know if it's real science or bro science, but apparently once you do that,
Starting point is 00:39:50 you're more susceptible to that happening to you going forward. Yeah. But I don't know. Heard the same. So anyway, but yeah, so I've heard this so many,
Starting point is 00:39:59 I've said it so many times. UFC does like three or four cards a year that are like Super Bowl cards, you know, the big ones. And typically they do one around New years. That is one of those. And this year they didn't pull it off. You know, Holly Holmes is your main event or I think it's home. I think there's no S, uh, Holly home as the main event. She should be third from first, you know? Yeah, I agree. I, it should be, what would be great is if they had Conor coming back and fighting either Nate or defending the belt.
Starting point is 00:40:29 And then under that, you had Habib fighting as the number one contender or whatever he is down there. And then Holly and Cyborg blown out. That would be a super card. Because then, of course, Habib's on the mic talking shit to Conor, and then Conor wins his fight, maybe. And he's like, yeah, bring it on, Habib, on the mic talking shit to Conor and then Conor wins his fight maybe and he's like, yeah, bring it on Habib, bring it on. And then you could get all that drama going. It would be great. That would be fantastic. I would watch that
Starting point is 00:40:56 for sure. I'm not going to pay for this card. Are there any big Israeli fighters or Jewish fighters that are in the same weight class as Habib. I can't think of any Jewish fighters. There probably are, and I just don't even know them as Jewish. Next you'll tell me there are no Jewish folks in the NBA or NHL.
Starting point is 00:41:16 I don't believe you. Now that you mentioned it. Wait, wait, are there more black people or Jewish people in the NHL? Black. Black. Come come on that's easy it's it's got it's gotta be black i've seen the black guy but i've never seen like charlie goldstein out there fucking defending goals or anything like no there's there's more black guys than there are jews and that's crazy because there's like four black guys usually they're good though i don't know what it is's crazy because there's like four black guys. Usually they're good though.
Starting point is 00:41:47 I don't know what it is. Like, I guess there's a few, it it's, I don't know. It's kind of like any other player. Like there are, there's a black guy who plays with the caps.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Who's not very good at all. Devante Smith, Pelly. Okay. There's a black guy who plays for the predators. Who's very good. PK Subban, the defenseman. And then, and then, you know, if I want to get these numbers up,
Starting point is 00:42:08 we're going to have to make it okay with like half black people. No, no, no, no, no. That's not fair. No. That's not fair? Wow, I would have gone the other way. To me, if you're one-eighth black, you're black. In the NHL, you are.
Starting point is 00:42:21 The one-drop rule. Yes. The one-drop rule. Yeah, I think that's some Jim Crow stuff. Ah, yes. If you're one-eighth black, you are three, or not three-fifths.
Starting point is 00:42:31 Let's go with four-fifths of a vote. I believe the term is octolune. Oh, I was giving the voting. Remember the three-fifths of a vote thing? If you're black, you get three-fifths of a vote. I figure if you're an eighth black, you must get another fifth in there or something. Three-fifths is a vote i figure if you're an eighth black you must get another fifth in there or something i figure it's not quadroon lana that's the only
Starting point is 00:42:50 way i know those two words quadroon and octoroon is from archer yeah i think that just must mean a quarter black and an eighth black right like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know i the ray roy moore thing is still on my radar, is watching that all the time. And it's almost – sexual assault in general, and I felt this before the recent wave of sexual assaults, we really need to be more specific on how terrible the assault is, right? Because now Al Franken – oh, my God. So I watch a lot of Fox News now, and they are very misleading and bad. They're like, yeah, Roy Moore and Al Frankenen those two are in hot water aren't they right one's taking a 14 year old girls and touching his dick right the other grabbed a woman well of course there's the
Starting point is 00:43:36 um the groping through the grope proof vest but the the one that really irritates me is is that even a thing a woman said he grabbed her butt while posing for a picture at a state fair. And Al Franken's response, I thought, was pretty untargeted. He's like, I don't remember this picture, but I will say I took thousands of pictures that day. Each one of them in front of hundreds of people. Like, that's not sexual assault. And I just don't think he grabbed her ass in front of hundreds of people. This is not Weinstein shit.
Starting point is 00:44:12 You're definitely right that there needs to be more defining of terms. Right. Because there is too much lumping where it's like, oh, Weinstein and Spacey and Franken. It's like, well, hold on. Spacey apparently actually may have molested a boy was he drunk at the time uh oh yeah so it's good no no no no no the boy i thought that i thought the boy was i think spacey said he was drunk okay okay but you're still on that one first accuser guy there's there's 20 or 30 incidents now like he Yeah, Spacey's had a long history of sexual harassment,
Starting point is 00:44:49 sort of flirting and groping, grabbing dicks and grabbing asses and propositioning young men and that sort of thing for decades. I wonder if it was his idea to have the gay scene in House of Cards. Like, yeah, we're going to do a sex scene. You know what? Let's get the bodyguard in here i'm just saying it's a boy yeah it would have been now that would have been dark oh yeah that second viewing of house of cards you have a hard time watching that scene now
Starting point is 00:45:18 oh god oh not the little boy not again did uh did you see that it came out that another fucking senator has been harassing and doing that this guy named uh john conyers rep john conyers having sex with a man in his office oh that's no no he's just a state guy he got accused of a lot of harassing a lot of staffers, and also it's coming out that he used tax money to pay off people. And to fly in whores. And to fly in prostitutes. Man, if we could find a way to use tax money to fly in whores. Look, we're judging these guys way too harshly.
Starting point is 00:45:58 Who would not do that if they could? Again, I'm with Woody on this. We need to separate these guys into multiple categories. You've got the Bill Cosbys and the Harvey Weinsteins who are literally raping people out there. And on the other end of the spectrum, you've got...
Starting point is 00:46:14 I think the Louis C.K. thing, to me... I don't think he did anything wrong. Can I just jump in? I look through it again. It wasn't that bad to me. In five seconds, because I didn't know who he was. I other people might not either john conyers is a democrat in the house of reps so not a senator but a federal house of rep dude from michigan i
Starting point is 00:46:34 think i wouldn't yeah yeah it's from michigan he's the longest sitting uh uh house of representatives member i believe wow so he's been doing this for a hot second so he might be pretty powerful because they tend to get seniority but yeah, Democrat, Michigan, House of Rep I thought people would want to know that yeah I think they did separate them into categories it's important to know exactly what these people did
Starting point is 00:46:58 to whom and if they asked permission or not in some cases Louis C.K. especially. Him getting lumped in to all this is really, really not cool for people to be like, Louis and Spacey. Al Franken too,
Starting point is 00:47:14 I think. So here's Al Franken's three accusations. So I put him at one level worse than Spacey. Not worse than Spacey. Louis C.K. He did keep his dick in his pants and he didn't jerk off. So here's what he did. They had
Starting point is 00:47:29 a scene where they were going to kiss as part of their comedy skit and he said he should rehearse it and apparently he stuck his tongue in her mouth. He says that's not true. She says it is true. That's where that one is. He also pretended to grope her in front of a camera while wearing what I like to refer to as
Starting point is 00:47:45 the grope proof vest and uh um that's what franken did the hiney pinching thing at a state fair is bullshit to me like i don't know i just don't buy that one i try not to just look through blue glasses but there's hundreds of people around this isn't sexual assault so where do you put george bush then like george hw bush who apparently grabbed the 16 year old girl's ass during the picture and many others like that was his thing well so one of one of the differences between bush and franken is that there were like 11 or 13 people that came out and said he did that same thing with him also and he apologized he apologized which is a weird like boundary of like, well, now we know he's guilty. And like, it's almost like,
Starting point is 00:48:26 I want to applaud people for apologizing, but I kind of hold them like now it's also like conviction. Well, the thing about Bush, Bush couldn't deny. Cause a lot of people hurt. He, he told a joke before grabbing the woman's ass.
Starting point is 00:48:41 I forget the joke, but somehow grabbing her ass was the punchline of it. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, yeah. So, like that, he just grabbed women's asses inappropriately,
Starting point is 00:48:51 which to me... Not always women. It was the 16-year-old girl, too. Oh, that makes it worse. I didn't know about that. Yeah, that definitely makes it worse. Yeah, yeah. That bumps him up a level
Starting point is 00:49:00 on the assault scale to me. Whereas, but also, grabbing an ass like i hope that if if some woman gets her ass grabbed i know if it happened to me i'm not losing sleep over this shit you know i'm not feeling violated and going on a life of drugs and and like you know my next like encounter with a woman who was consensual just didn't have the magic it should have because of that one time six years ago somebody pinched my butt without permission.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Get over yourself. Knock it off. I used to grab this girl's ass all the time in high school when we were 15 or 16 and she just had a gigantic ass and you knew that ass had like two years left on it. She was pre-fat.
Starting point is 00:49:44 I was going to say good way or bad way. Had like two years left on it. Huh? She was pre-fat. I was going to say good way or bad way. She had a gigantic ass. That can mean a lot of things. Oh, in a good way. Like in the kind of way where it just wasn't going to last much longer. Like gravity was going to take this ass from us all. Pre-fat. It's a thing.
Starting point is 00:49:59 She was pre-chubby for sure. But even if she had taken taken on a fitness oriented life like gravity was going to take this ass from us and i and i knew she's a cruel mistress i had to get it in while i could and she didn't mind she'd smile and he he he it was a public service just like i encourage these 18 year olds to dress slutty on halloween 18 year olds there's no power imbalance listen hot 18 year olds you're not going to be... There's no power imbalance. Listen, hot 18-year-olds. You're not going to be this hot forever. You slutted up on Halloween.
Starting point is 00:50:29 I told a lot of girls this. Seize the day. Find yourself a cute 26-year-old and have a few nights of fun. I get out of the camera, and I'm like, look, you're going to want to die in your body. From St. Louis.
Starting point is 00:50:40 We're going to want to save this for the future when it's no longer with us. I'm doing the wind thing. You'll be glad. It's so hard to get those developed. They're terrible. No, no, no. Because you send the nudes in to get developed
Starting point is 00:50:57 and they just give you the negatives of the nudes back. They're like, oh, we don't develop nudes here at Walmart. I'm like, where do they develop nudes at? And they're like, that's not up to me. I took those, I kept the negatives for years. They better be over 18.
Starting point is 00:51:15 She was 18. We were all 18. I'm just saying, if you're both 15, hypothetically, then you hang on to that for 20 years, get rid of that shit. If you hang on to it for a day, it's child porn. If you're 15 and, hypothetically, then you hang on to that for 20 years? Get rid of that shit. If you hang on to it for a day, it's child porn. If you're 15 and you take a picture of a 15-year-old, you are a child pornography-owning 15-year-old
Starting point is 00:51:33 who is very culpable. You're right about that. But the scenario where I drew where you hang on to it way too long, even Woody disapproves of that. Oh, yeah. I read that whole thing on Reddit, too. I actually didn't read it. Oh, well, disapproves of that oh yeah yeah yeah i i read that whole thing on reddit too yeah yeah be careful didn't read oh oh well um uh it was a confession thing where the girl said that an ex-boyfriend
Starting point is 00:51:52 from high school had met had sent her a picture of herself naked when she was 16 and be like hey look i've still got this and she was like uh that's kind of fucking creepy and then it turned out later that he's part of a child porn ring whoa yeah and and she's like ah i bet he used my those pictures of me from when i was 16 and was like sending them to his weirdo buddies and they all went down was he a male sent them where i mean there's so many sites which one of those actual there's so many there's a picture of the 16 year old girl i i i it's very possible that in this picture he's grabbing her like in that moment uh that i linked down there i'm uh just to play devil's advocate woody i'm curious like what makes you think that this one is real and the franken one isn't the the ass groping specifically oh uh well i think i the 16 year old
Starting point is 00:52:46 i don't know but the there was a more recent one where he did it like in his wheelchair and like there were six people around they all heard the joke you know yeah and his wife apologized yeah and he apologized and his wife and they they sort of said that he does like this is a joke that he retells all the time and he's a little senile, so I was cutting on some slack for that. That's why that one doesn't mean as much to me as this one when he was a president, groping a 16-year-old would mean. Because he's clearly not senile in this. But, like, if you look at him now, like, he does not look, like, I guarantee somebody ghost wrote that apology for him. Because he does not he he's fucking
Starting point is 00:53:26 nobody's home we don't know that that guy literally jumped out of an airplane like two years ago I think it was more than that he was trying to end it see the thing is so my my mother-in-law is living with us
Starting point is 00:53:44 and I've just sort of, even one year ago, it was like, wow, she's very sick. So physically, like, she's not able to do a lot of stuff. But mentally, like, same as always, you know, not a change, right? So here's this woman who can barely walk across a hallway, right? Not down the hallway walk across a hallway right it's not a lot not down the hallway across the hallway and uh but mentally like you talk to her about tv or politics or whatever you're talking about same as it was 30 years ago not true anymore like i i've just watched like her mental facilities on a good day down 30 on a bad day, down 30%, on a bad day, like literally has no idea if it's a.m. or p.m.
Starting point is 00:54:26 or what state she's in. And it's changed my mind about older politicians too. Like, you know, it will come and it will snap. Are you sure you want someone who's on the edge of this to have a four-year term? You know, talking to you, Joe Biden, who seems great today, but you want him to get elected at 76?
Starting point is 00:54:46 Talking to you, Bernie Sanders. Talking to you, Donald Trump. Trump will be like 75, 76. If you watch Trump speak, like, in the 15-year-old things, it's easy to find his opinions from 15 years ago. He's pretty convincing and with it and et cetera. Like, he's fine. If you watch him speak now, he is often quoted with the word salad bullshit that
Starting point is 00:55:08 he comes up with. That is a guy who's declining. All my anti-Trumpness aside, I swear I do my best not to look at him through a blue lens. I think you lose a little every decade, right? I think you lose a little every decade. I'll buy that. But there's a cliff
Starting point is 00:55:23 in there. There's a cliff in there that most people hit in their 70s, and they will lose, whatever, 2% a decade. And then when Trump goes from 73 to 74, he'll lose 30%. It'll be a problem. It's possible. He'll be 74, like 74 and a half when he's done with this term. Yeah. And how old is Bernie?
Starting point is 00:55:46 Probably a year older. Yeah, I've got that in my head. So I would like to see. No, Jesus Christ. He's five years older than Trump. Bernie Sanders will be almost 80 years old for the next election. He's 76 right now. Shit.
Starting point is 00:56:00 Really? Yeah, he just turned 76. So he will have just turned 79 for the next election. Here's my prediction. Next election cycle, I can't remember her name. Elizabeth Warren? Do I have that right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Pocahontas. Yeah, Pocahontas throws her hat in the ring, and all the Bernie people migrate. Because she's the one they wanted in the first place. Maybe. I don't know where the Bernie crowd's turning towards. Bernie jumps wanted in the first place here's what i think i think that bernie crowds terny jumps back in there and like and he's he's riding high he he's he's getting close to beating trump who will who will be running again probably then bernie dies and trump is re-elected to a second term that's what's coming right it'll be so late you can't take his name off the ballot. Exactly. On November 7th. 2020, because Bernie Sanders is going to die so late into the campaign
Starting point is 00:56:50 that they'll not be able to get anyone to fill his shoes that'll be able to get the votes to be the Trump. What if Bernie chooses a vice president that's so on target they want him more? And they're like, you know what? Like, hey, we could. We could get Bernie. A vote for Bernie is a vote for vp the only reason that would fail i think is for the same reason that like the democrats didn't
Starting point is 00:57:09 turn out at all this past election is because like nobody liked hillary that much like if all if the big fans are like really tethered to bernie and then he's not in it and it's some other dude a big percentage or a significant percentage of them at least are going to stay home and bernie can't pick someone as far to the left as he is, so he'll have to go closer to the middle. Oh, I didn't consider that aspect of it. You're right. That's what normally people do.
Starting point is 00:57:34 Do the rules change with a president you expect to die? I don't know. Should we have age caps on the presidency? No. Do you think that they should do like, all right, hard stop at 80? This thing's interesting. Come on. I don't like the entertainment argument.
Starting point is 00:57:54 But for the same reason that I think if Roy Moore, the child molester, gets chosen, I think he should be the next senator. That's my take on it. I take the whole voters choose the politicians very seriously. And you can't have politicians just say, oh look, I know this guy won the vote. I know he got most votes, but that's not enough. No, no, no. That is enough.
Starting point is 00:58:16 We knew he wasn't going to molest us. Yeah, right? I'm way too old. So anyway, I think that there should I think voters should choose their politicians and that's that. Hell, I'd get rid of the have to be 35 thing. Not that it's ever been tested, but voters should be
Starting point is 00:58:31 able to pick. Who was the closest to that? Kennedy? Is he the youngest president ever? Or did we have some super young president in like 18, 14? Nah, Kennedy. It's Kennedy. It's a bunch of old white men and then Kennedy who was like Obama was pretty young too I don't think
Starting point is 00:58:51 Obama was as young as Kennedy because Kennedy was like early 40s wasn't he when he got it I thought he was late so Roosevelt Theodore Roosevelt was the youngest at 42 Kennedy was 43 Clinton was. And Obama was the fifth youngest at 47. Okie dokie. Kennedy was the best looking. In look 43 or whatever. Yeah. Clinton was young too.
Starting point is 00:59:17 What's funny is Clinton served and then I guess he was after W, but they're like the same age. No, I'm saying it wrong. W was after W, but they're like the same age. No, I'm saying it wrong. W was after. But now that the presidencies are done, you expect the presidents to be like an ascending age, but Clinton is actually younger than W. Yeah, and then Carter is so old looking, it's insane.
Starting point is 00:59:49 He and George H.W. bush are vying for the next you know spot in the afterlife i just i scrolled down trump is actually the oldest president ever to be elected second to well maybe this is a little confusing reagan is the second oldest but i guess reagan's second term he was probably older than Trump's first term. We need everything. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Anyway. That's interesting.
Starting point is 01:00:12 Presidents' ages. Yeah, let's just go through. You probably didn't know the 17th oldest president. Stop! It was James Madison. It was James Madison. I don't even know where to go. It's been an hour.
Starting point is 01:00:36 I love my theory here about how Donald Trump is going to get re-elected. That Bernie is going to run. He's going to be flying high. He's going to be leading all the polls and then he's just going to fucking die. I've got the opposite theory. And they're going to be saying high. He's going to be leading all the polls, and then he's just going to fucking die. I've got the opposite theory. And they're going to be saying that Trump had him killed. One, if someone's going to die, Trump is way up there on the list.
Starting point is 01:00:52 He's a very fat 71-year-old man. No, he's not. Dude, I've put down dogs healthier than Donald Trump. Whatever weight you lost, he has found it. Yeah, that guy. With the sexual assault thing, I see current Trump. Now, some of these sexual...
Starting point is 01:01:12 A lot of his Trump assaults, sexual assault accusations, that's what I'm looking for. A lot of these Trump accusations are very old, but I see current Trump and I'm like, no way was that consensual.
Starting point is 01:01:22 I have to reprogram and think, yeah, well, 45 years ago, maybe it was. But, or I mean, when he was 45. Oh, yeah. But here's the thing. He was the bell of the ball then. Everybody in Hollywood and, you know, the media loved him.
Starting point is 01:01:34 Yeah. Anyway, so what I want to say was this. When H.W. was president, nobody wanted to run against him. He was incredibly popular during the first Iraq war. So all the Democrats were like, fucking, you know, I might run for president, but not this year.
Starting point is 01:01:48 You know, this year it's just lambs to the slaughter. And then a recession hit, made him much more vulnerable, and Clinton got elected. And he raised taxes. And when he said, read my lips, read my lips, no new taxes. And they raised the fucking taxes.
Starting point is 01:02:01 That happened, yeah. So I look at this year as kind of the mirror of that in that every Democrat who has any presidential aspirations has to be looking at Trump saying, dude, whoever wins the Democratic primary wins this next election. And I believe that. It's three years from now.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Things could change. But I think whoever wins the Democratic primary gets the next presidency. So everyone who's any good at all should throw their hat in the ring. The Democrats should come up with someone. Wait till Trump fights his war, then you'll see. You might be right. We'll see when the Trump war begins.
Starting point is 01:02:36 Trump will go hardcore. He thinks he looks like Patton because he does. He'll have that fucking hat. He'll put that general's hat on. He'll put the three stars on on. He'll put the three stars on it. He'll be out on the battlefield doing photo ops. You might be right. That would be so polarizing.
Starting point is 01:02:52 That would be fucking hilarious to me. If everybody's thinking alike, if somebody isn't thinking. Doing Patton quotes. Imagine him sticking out of the top of an Abrams tank with a pearl handled 1911 on a shoulder harness and a helmet. With a helmet strap across his mono-chin.
Starting point is 01:03:14 He's made himself a four-star general. He's made himself a four-star general, and he's just pointing. He's demoted himself? I know. Why would he do that? Well, you can't be a five-star, generally. He could be a six-star. He should do it.
Starting point is 01:03:28 No, it's literally against the law to be a six-star. Who makes the laws around here? Congress. Well, that's true, but okay, he has to have some star. Watch him have a five-star helmet and one's a gold sticker that a kindergartner might
Starting point is 01:03:44 get. They possibly promoted George Washington to a six-star general. Then they made a law that no other general could ever be a six-star general, so no one could ever outrank George Washington. Yeah. Now, couldn't you also be a six-star general and not outrank him? You would just parallel rank him? None of my predecessors had seen this loophole.
Starting point is 01:04:04 I have a 5.9 star the same as the yelp review at the trump hotel just constructed here in washington we'll check it out if so when Usually whenever someone fires off a war, they get very popular. It happened with H.W. It happened with W. I don't want to say it happened with Clinton, but he didn't really start any good wars.
Starting point is 01:04:36 He was kind of peace-loving. Come on, he bombed the shit out of Slobodan Milosevic over there. Yeah, airstrikes, did that count? I think they definitely counted. They were happy about that. He blew up a lot of people. I definitely don't remember the same, like,
Starting point is 01:04:50 oh my god, I suddenly need a flag license plate holder thing that happens with every other war. But if Trump starts a war, there's an aspect of me that says, oh my god, he's going to get blasted for it. Everyone's going to hate him, etc. With Russia and Ukraine, there's a aspect of me that says, oh my God, he's going to get blasted for it. Everyone's going to hate him, etc. With Russia.
Starting point is 01:05:07 In Ukraine. There's a bill up right now where they want to arm the Ukrainians against Russia. See, that's how... See, this is a two-pronged attack. You quash all the Russian collusion and you start a war by starting a war with Russia.
Starting point is 01:05:22 Then in the debates, if anyone... Nobody's going to be... This man's been coll war with Russia. Then in the debates, if anyone... Nobody's going to be... This man's been colluding with Russia! He's killed 13,000 of them this year! I think this is the key to his re-election. He needs to kill some Russians.
Starting point is 01:05:36 Let's give Mongolia just a ton of shit and just see what happens. They're right between China and Russia. Maybe they could get some some some churning somebody upset over there maybe make the russians and the chinese still use horse archers like like what are they doing now i you know why i think they might because they don't have roads like it mongolia i actually it's a shithole what i know of mongolia i i have this motorcycle that's like sort of a
Starting point is 01:06:03 cross-country style motorcycle the bmw gs people know it and that's like sort of a cross-country style motorcycle, the BMW GS, if people know it. And that's like a choice that people use when they drive around the country, when they ride their motorcycles around the planet, I mean to say. And Mongolia, it's fucking unpaved. It's the hardest part, like your trek across Mongolia. So I think horses make a lot of sense in Mongolia. It's not paved there. All right. Okay, well, then fuck my idea if we're just going to be loading up a bunch of satchel bags full of grenades or whatnot on horse riders. It doesn't take a lot to cause trouble, right?
Starting point is 01:06:33 All you got to do is still use our choppers and such. And it's in the Mongols' blood, too, to cause mischief in that area, right? Is it? You're going off the Genghis Khan stuff? Genghis Khan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you're right. I don't know. Have you ever seen the movie where John off the Genghis Khan stuff? Genghis Khan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you're right. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:06:49 Have you ever seen the movie where John Wayne played Genghis Khan? No. It's absurd. It's absurd. The rest of Mongolia is going to be mine, pilgrim. That's what I was doing the other day. Same fucking thing. I was Chinese-er and for a whooping. He's got that silly mustache like the the two
Starting point is 01:07:06 little lines right here that don't connect you know like the the stereotypical mongolian uh mustache and and he's all like they made him look kind of asian for this thing it's absurd nowadays that be you know what i want to talk about a little bit i don't know if you want if you're married to this type. Walking Dead. Are you caught up on Walking Dead? Yes. Yes. You guys have turned me off to watching it this season,
Starting point is 01:07:31 so I have not watched it anymore. So the last episode, people are saying, was good. Oh, my gosh. The last episode, finally, some character development, so that Negan was in like 80% of it and stuff. It was still shit. I feel like they don't know how to make a show. Last year was 16
Starting point is 01:07:49 episodes worth of build-up bullshit. Nothing happened. It was terrible. 16 episodes. He does look Asian. I'm going to put him on the screen. This year it's nothing but the opposite. It's like, I don't know. I ordered vegetables and wanted salt on them and they're like, oh, all right, all right.
Starting point is 01:08:09 Well, next time we'll just give you a pile of salt and maybe you'll enjoy this meal. They have no idea how to do pacing. They have no idea how to make it good. Every time you complain about something, they're like, oh, wait, wait. These people want more action. They're going to be nonstop action.
Starting point is 01:08:24 Oh, they want more character development. Go on. They're bad at making TV shows. They are. They're bad at making TV wait, wait, these people want more action. They're going to be nonstop action. Oh, they want more character development. Go on. They're bad at making TV shows. They're bad at making TV shows. Oh, my God. They're bad at it. Okay, so there was a movie, Airbender, the last Airbender. I thought that movie on a scale of 1 to 10 wasn't as bad as other people say it was.
Starting point is 01:08:41 I thought it was like a 5, you know, an average movie. The problem is, okay, Kyle says 2. The thought it was like a five, you know, an average movie. The problem is, okay, Kyle says two, the source material was a 10, right? The source material in my head was like Lord of the Rings-ish. Like it was top of the heap. So they should have made
Starting point is 01:08:55 like three 10s out of this. And instead they came out with what I thought was one five. Most people say worse. That's what Walking Dead is to me. Like the concept here could be awesome this could be a long-running thing like star trek or something like we could kill off rick and his whole crew and morph to another one like star trek does this thing could go on for
Starting point is 01:09:17 100 years but they're shitty at making tv shows and we are where we are They're shitty at making TV shows. And we are where we are. Yep, I agree completely. My issue is this. We should have wrapped this Negan thing up last year. Yes! Last year should have completed the entire war and the Negan thing. And that would have made the show better.
Starting point is 01:09:43 Plus, fix the gun stuff. Get the guy who does John Wick gun stuff and hire him. Spend an extra million dollars. It can't cost much more than that. Make the world bigger. I want to know what's happened on the planet. I want to know what's going on.
Starting point is 01:09:59 Don't tease me with a helicopter flying over that you'll come back to at the end of the year and give me another teaser. Two years from now, we'll get to see where that helicopter is and it'll be really underwhelming that's what's going to happen they'll be like oh yeah there's these people over here they got a helicopter yeah yeah no big deal it's they're really they don't have any food they've just got a helicopter that's all they have like like what you want it to be is like like the the federal government has come back together and there's a guy there with answers and he's got a satellite. He shows you the satellite feed and they're like, well, it started here.
Starting point is 01:10:29 And as you can see, the Europeans, well, they fell back to France where they started a border wall. And you want that. You want an epic episode where they show you what's going on all around the globe. And they talk about how the Australians fell and how there's people living on oil rig rigs out there living on fish or something like i want to know what's going on i don't care we're in virginia we're in the bullshit virginia and we're having a war in virginia okay we're having a war where like almost 200 people have died in this season almost 200 so far why did they just? It's not like they were farming there in Virginia.
Starting point is 01:11:07 Go up north. Go to the west. Go anywhere. It's a big fucking country. That's the whole point. If people don't know, Walking Dead is 16 episodes, but they break it into a mid-season. So they do 8 episodes and there's kind of a cliffhanger in the 8th one. And then they do 9 through 16. If last season had done what they're
Starting point is 01:11:24 doing in 32 episodes over 16, it'd be a good show. They could have spent seven episodes with the sort of Rick getting down and sort of beaten and depressed. And then episode 8, cliffhanger, he says, we're going to go fuck these guys up. I'm tired of being pushed around. And then episode 9 kicks off and they start fighting Negan until 16 when they're going to win instead they're taking 32 episodes 16 episodes of Rick being depressed followed by 16 episodes of them holding down the trigger on fully auto guns for an hour at a time hours at a time and then by the way like I was reading on reddit someone put it really well
Starting point is 01:12:03 no one is like like, scared. Every single one of them is, like, competent and clear thinking in all these battle scenarios. But it's gunfire, right? So even professional soldiers are like, oh, my shit. Paintball's scary. Yeah, paintball's scary. You go to paintball, people are like, oh.
Starting point is 01:12:23 That's true. And they should be walking in three inches of ammo shells, right? Like brass, right? You hold down a fully auto-trip. They should be tripping over ammo boxes. But these guys have those magical Hollywood guns. And look, I don't complain about gunplay in every show. Like I'm not one who says, oh, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:12:42 That sounded like 40 in a 30-round magazine. I don't know that sounded like 40 in a 30 round magazine not yeah i don't do that but or like you know i'm okay with inferring there was a reload off screen but what they do is outrageous they have no more ammo just one magical thing the gun's not even firing there's no recoil on the gun just the sound of a different gun you know shooting with cgi sparks on a car and it is done by the way sony vegas shit yeah yeah poorly freddy you know the when you shoot a gun you know the the bolt reciprocates it moves back and forth and like that guy with that m14 and that clip we watched last week it's not moving it's not moving. And you got a clear view of it not moving.
Starting point is 01:13:26 And I'm like, you know, that thing kicks a bunch. It's so bad. And like, I don't know. Even TV shows are typically not so cheap that they don't fire blanks. Yeah. Like this is next. And it's always Walking Dead
Starting point is 01:13:43 who like pushes the boundaries of special effect you see better special effects on saturday night live i've been re-watching boardwalk empire and like i was thinking like i watched a few episodes of boardwalk and then i watched the new episode of walking dead like i was kind of watching them side by side they use blanks and squibs you squibs sometimes in boardwalk empire which is you know the the real cost and squibs. You use squibs sometimes in Boardwalk Empire, which is, you know, the real cost with squibs, which is an explosive that's in their clothes under a blood pack. So there's a pop, the clothing bursts,
Starting point is 01:14:13 actual liquid blood, not blood, but red stuff, squirts out of their shirt. That's how I want people to look when they get shot. Think RoboCop. Like, I love RoboCop, because when people get shot especially in that scene where you know um robocop becomes robocop when he's just a regular guy and and uh red foreman and his band of miscreants like machine gun him to pieces like there's squibs going off everywhere
Starting point is 01:14:38 they're expensive not just because someone has to apply them and then you know the material of using one but also because you have to shoot that scene and then be like all right put a whole new wardrobe on him clean all the blood out of the area uh reload the squibs and then we'll shoot it again so there's like an hour of downtime every time you want to shoot the scene whereas if they just do cgi like impacts on somebody you just add it in post and you don't need to do any of that so you can just you can do multiple takes rapidly of the guy just kind of wiggling and you know doing you know 55 people on set twiddling their thumbs getting paid while six people reset it yeah it's a lot more expensive to use squibs but it's worth it to me i it matter i i love it so much when they use squibs it's it's it's a big deal for me when i see squibs i'm like
Starting point is 01:15:25 oh i like that a lot i like seeing the blood squirt out when they get shot change of pace game of thrones someone said something on reddit today that resonated me with me the two worst actors in game of thrones are the two main ones that's kit harrington john snow right all he does is brooding right he's always his Snow, right? All he does is brooding, right? His only emotion is brooding. Isn't that a rough life? He's a rough ghoul. Right? And then you have Emilia Clarke. Emilia Clarke, the Queen of Dragons or whatever,
Starting point is 01:15:54 Mom of Dragons. Mom of Dragons, I'm pretty sure, is her actual term. Yep. Anyway, all she does is blank expression trying to infer some sort of confidence and power. And that's it. Again and again and again. There's no range of emotions. There's no real acting. There's no delivering on the lines beyond what's in script.
Starting point is 01:16:15 It's just saying it brooding or saying it stone-faced between Jon Snow and mom. It doesn't bother me too much, either of them. I think of any of the actors that I noticed being bad through the whole series, it was Littlefinger. Because his accent was constantly amorphous and moving around. Sometimes he was Irish, sometimes he wasn't Irish.
Starting point is 01:16:37 Well, that motherfucker traveled so much, he was picking up some new fucking stuff. You might be more sensitive to that than other viewers, because you're good at accents. Maybe. Yeah, I didn't like that from him though because I think he probably is Irish and he was bouncing all over the place. But Kit Harington, the brooding
Starting point is 01:16:53 thing, you're right in a way. I just like him as a character so I'm willing to excuse it. However, Khaleesi, I don't like her as a character and her acting is not good. Yeah, if you've seen her in the Terminator movie, Terminator Genisys, it's terrible. They cast her as Sarah Connor, and I've went through this before,
Starting point is 01:17:11 but Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor, Linda Hamilton worked out for a year. She's ripped. In 1991, I think the movie came out in 91, she's ripped like no women were in 91. 1991 Linda Hamilton is the most ripped woman you've ever seen in your
Starting point is 01:17:32 life in 1991. It's absurd. She looks like a professional athlete for that era. Because she knew what was coming, the character, and she had spent like 15 years preparing for this war. Who's the Oliver North dude? It was a radio show.
Starting point is 01:17:49 G. Gordon Liddy? G. Gordon Liddy, yeah. Yeah, he has this great line. He's like, look, if you want to be a lawyer, you go to law school. If you want to be a doctor, you go to med school. If you want to be a soldier, you go to the gym. And she took that to heart. Yeah, I'm looking at pictures of her she
Starting point is 01:18:06 certainly did there's this epic scene where like uh that she she's locked up in uh this mental hospital for trying to blow up a computer factory and the guy who runs the place is is showing some students around and he's like and this is sarah connor blah blah they are going to her room to show her off she's flipped her steel bed up on its end and she's doing pull-ups on the steel bed and her biceps and shoulders are just fucking ripped while she's cranking out legit chin-ups and you know women can't do chin-ups very well like it's a thing most of her body strength she's cranking them out she's fucking and there's beads of sweat all over and she just turns around hello doctor how's the knee and he looks back at the suit she's like she she stabbed me with my own pen a few weeks
Starting point is 01:18:51 ago she's such a badass in that movie it's great terminator 2 is one of the best action movies ever made you really need to watch terminator. And the special effects fucking hold up. They're so good. Huh. Okay. It's the finger. What was I going to say? I don't know. Maybe rap? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Alright. Painkiller
Starting point is 01:19:20 nearly 170.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.