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All right, PKN170.
We were just talking already.
Oh, look at my hair.
I've got helmet hair.
I just landed.
I wouldn't have been able to tell.
It looks pretty good.
Yeah, you know what?
That's the thing about hair, though, right?
Like, I've had other people tell me, like, oh, my hair is a total mess.
And I'm like, well, actually, it's like 90% what it normally is.
I don't pay that much attention to your hair.
But to me, there are clearly many out of place.
Whatever, hair. Sexual assault. normally is i don't pay that much attention to your hair but to me there are clearly many out of place i i whatever hair uh sexual hair is your really is your hair really long right now
no because you look like you have that uh you know that hip new look that's coming back in the the neo-nazi crowd yeah yeah yeah kind of shaved on the side and pushed back yeah yeah yeah i saw
something on twitter where a bunch of like women
accounts like because someone had said something it was the news like oh this new alt-right
hairstyle or something and a bunch of chicks were commenting like no that ain't fair that's a really
hot hair dude no that can't happen that's how i feel about it too i like that hairstyle oh is it
the fuck boy hairstyle no it's where your hairstyle over here is much shorter and then a little longer.
It's helpful for people.
I don't have it, but for people with very broad heads, it would probably help with the slimming effect.
That sounds like the fuckboy hairstyle.
Now, is the part also like where it's shaved?
Oh, no, it's not like a line of shaved.
No, I don't think so.
Here, I'm going to Google it.
I don't want a fuckboy haircut here i'm gonna i'm gonna google it fuck boy haircut
what is a fuck boy what is this fuck boy dude can i if i ask my barber for that will she will
she know what's up well i don't know about your barber because i've been getting this japanese
lady to cut my hair for the last couple times and and i just don't think if i said fuck boy she'd
she'd know what i meant ma'am can think if i said fuck boy she'd she'd
know what i meant ma'am can you give me the fuck boy hairstyle oh so the same as every week
i'll show you what the fuck boy haircut is and to be honest i hate the name i don't hate the haircut
it it's a pretty clean cut to me talking about it doesn't have it doesn't have this line yeah
that line is not as stylized it It's a little exaggerated on this guy.
But, you know, sometimes, basically, it's just where the part would be.
It's up to there.
Brennan Schwab rocked it for a while.
And I think Boy...
That really is every soccer player on the planet's hairstyle.
I think Boy is supposed to be B-O-I.
But, you know, I'm not really in the loop.
I'm just...
None of us are very well versed in the fuck
boy loop apparently we didn't even know the hairstyle yeah but i don't like that it's like
if uh really antifa tried to take no no i mean i don't like like some fringe movement trying to
co-opt a good looking style you know oh like if the antifa people were suddenly like wearing like
really nice shoes and and nice patent leather shoes became associated with them you'd have to be like
no that's not cool no i'm wearing my shoes out you can't you can't have those yeah you guys had
dreadlocks leave reasonable looks alone they can have those right dreadlocks look fucking horrible
on white people on black people uh i've never seen an asian person with
it but that doesn't i imagine it would look bad like it's just a it's a monument to dirtiness i
hate i'll tell you who should be skinheads uh one people balding at all but especially
people balding in unflattering balding patterns right right? Like Costanza. Like who?
Oh, George Costanza?
Like the half donut.
Yeah, so he had that typical male pattern baldness.
But what's worse, and I worked with a guy who had this,
and he shaved his head brilliantly,
but he was evolving towards male pattern baldness,
which is that like horseshoe along the back,
but it started on the top.
So there was a stage where he had like a
unicorn of hair out the top front and he's like anything you attempt to do with this is not going
to be a win you know some guys hang on to that unicorn too long and comb it over comb it back
or try to do things with it he he just shaved and and it was good also i think this is just woody speaking if you're gonna shave your
your head like skinhead bald it's beneficial to be a really bulky strong guy if you're if you have
my upper body build have a beard oh yeah but if you have my like i'm kind of thin up top and strong
in the legs uh that's not the best bald look so something you get what you get but
if you could choose i'd rather have that taylor would be a better skinhead than me well i mean
at this rate i'll be bald before you you know it looks like you've you've passed that ridge
in adulthood where it's like if this to happen, it would have started by now. My dad's in that same boat where his hair is really gray compared to your hair.
But it's like, yeah, he's not going to lose any hair, is he?
No, probably not.
I can't tell if I'm losing any.
I don't think so.
But I do see flecks of gray coming in on the sides.
I have that too.
Yeah, I'm not as worried about it as I would be losing hair.
How bald would you have to go
in order for you to just do the skinhead thing?
I guess Kyle,
because it's still in the cards for you.
Yeah, you know,
until it starts looking bad, I guess.
You know, like it would just be an aesthetic
that I was like,
ah, it doesn't look good.
You know, it would have to,
eh, whenever it looks bad,
I think would be the
answer i've met kyle's father and i think he just like a little widow's peak right like it comes
back a little further yeah yeah yeah he's 64 now i want to say and uh it's receded a little
but like it's certainly not like i mean he's got all of this like it's just it's probably
went back an inch and a half or something like that i would say yeah it's got to go back some
as you get older your headline looks weird if it doesn't go back at all and his was gray like i i
don't remember i i i gotta go way back in my memory to remember his him it used to be jet black like
like just jet black but it's been salt and pepper since he was like 35, I would say.
And I'm okay with that.
I've got a little bit of gray like down here on my beard.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
And I got a little bit of gray like around the sides a little bit, like in there.
And I'm digging it.
I'm pretty happy about it.
I think that's going to really aid me in some of my future endeavors.
I hope so.
My beard has grayed in what I consider
an unflattering way.
Don't get me more wrong.
Your beard is a great level of gray.
If Jackie hadn't poisoned your mind
like the ring in Smeagol's possession,
you would be able to look at yourself in the mirror
and go, God damn, does I look good?
Why is this corrupting your self-esteem with your flawed ideal i it really is like you you have a fantastic beard
i bet it is annoying that she doesn't let you do it oh i don't see it that way and she's like oh
i wish my upper body was big and bulky like he likes to get a big chin implant I know brothers have he
really finds that sexy if she's had one she's clipping hair off the tips and
happy trailing it up or something you know one one area of my body I know
I'm going to have to start getting groomed
is in probably
like 10, 15 years when it starts to get out of control
are the eyebrows.
You think?
I've been waxing my eyebrows since I was in high school.
I don't wax my eyes.
I don't wax anything.
Maybe I should. Maybe that's a good idea.
But my eyebrows, I will
be that old fucker with the long tendrils of eyelashes
if I don't get it taken care of as an adult.
Can I jump in here?
Because I've gone the opposite direction.
I would say high school Woody had eyebrows similar to either you or Kyle, right?
Somewhere in that mix.
44-year-old Woody, these are like lightened up or something and my
eyebrow thinning is this the one area where i'm balding i look at me and i'm like woody
look at me i've got two-thirds of an eyebrow cooking here right
and there is hair there like you can pull it and stuff but like visually if you're into that
visually it's like two-thirds of an eyebrow. That's what I look like.
Am I losing eyebrow hair, or is everything just more surprising now?
You start drawing them on.
Have you seen those ladies who don't have them,
and they've just got them drawn on?
That's not the way we're going.
No, no.
I will just get what I got, and everything will be fine.
I do like to keep my hair short, but that's unrelated
It's because I wear helmets so much. Yeah, I feel like it can't get messed up if it's short enough
Yeah, having long hair is a guy. I don't think is good
I think it's a good look for one and also I hate the feeling of hair that stays wet for more than two towel rubs
You know like I like to be able to get dry in
There's nothing worse also getting in the car to like leave for the morning and realizing that you forgot to dry this whole area of your
face and you just have beard water dripping onto you i hate because like that that area gets cold
all of a sudden if i don't if i don't like dry my neck beard off you know one issue i have with
my hair is really thick i've talked about it before when my wife used to cut it people would
get um splinters like if my hair was left on the ground it sticks in your feet and you have
to pull out with tweezers it's like yeah i i empathize i know what you mean yeah so uh
but it's also very insulating i just i've only had my own hair but i suspect more than most
people like it keeps me warm and uh so i like to cut it so i because it gets like
it's hot under this like fucking rug of hair that i that i wear around all the time so you cut it
nice and then like oh yeah a little breeze going on it's better so i never noticed too much
insulation unless i let it get like when my hair gets to the point where it starts to get curly
that's when i know that it's about three weeks past when i should have gotten a haircut and i
start to look more and more like i'd be into skateboarding but uh but nay nay i am not it's
about the heat like the heat is one of the big things that i notice like oh my god it's fucking
oppressive under this rug and i cut it shorter and then then also I never gets early. Does it?
No,
it just keeps like a chia pet.
Like it just keeps going further out in straight directions all the
time.
Now I've gelled it and combed it so long.
It kind of does this like regardless when I take this headset off,
you can't see it in the camera very well,
but I will like very distinct,
like inverted sideways Mohawk that goes in there.
There's mine like crazy long wow how old are you in that picture that was like uh three months ago oh okay well for people that don't
know that the phone almost completely covered his face it just showed his hair so it wasn't easy to
see his well that's an edited photo there was more skin showing in the
rest of the photo you zoomed in just right that you've been cultivating oh yes oh yes just just
just is there a dick in that photo if it was zoomed out okay maybe
well i mean maybe i mean he's not he's not gonna just take a topless photo in the bathroom
you go whole hog with that.
You know, if I was, let's say I'm hypothetically like 26 and on the scene,
I swear to God I would be taking like me undies shots.
Like I feel like that's the most flattering.
Like it really does put your junk like on it.
It kind of lifts it, supports it, displays it in such a way.
Get it out. Get it out there. Let it breathe it displays it in such a way get it out
Look I think yeah that guy needs his dick and balls tight under wraps because he's about to do some jumping or moving or uh-huh Running any second now he could grab a football and go for a 39 yard run. You don't know that's just the kind of guy
This is
You don't know.
That's just the kind of guy this is.
Yeah, you can tell from my underwear I'm active.
Don't you see that it says 360-degree cool on there?
I don't want to be all talk,
and 80% of PKA things don't come into fruition,
but I'm seriously thinking about playing ice hockey this year.
Are you worried about the ankle at all? I'm cleared for stick and puck.
And then from there like we'll just see
let's do some hard turns and see what's up but uh something about a hockey boot being as supportive
as it is um makes me it makes it one of the better choices for me yeah and you can always
like get your shin guard down there on top of the tongue and like really tape it sturdier than usual
yeah that's what i do there's there There's also these things you can get.
I don't know what they're called because they were
built into goalie skates, but they're like
these fenders, these hard plastic
fenders that you can attach to the
side of your skate to keep your foot from
getting broken if you catch a really hard shot.
It's one of those things that like
most NHL players don't use
them and most like high level hockey players, but it's more
of like the same reason that they didn't use them, and most high-level hockey players, but it's more of the same reason
that they didn't use visors until recently.
Like, oh, I'm way tougher.
I'll take a puck to the foot.
Is it like training wheels for your skates?
Because I could really use that
if there were two wheels that came out.
So it's two extra blades?
So you've got three blades on it?
No, it's just something to...
Because if you...
You may not realize this, Kyle,
but if you were skating around and you got that hard hockey skate on and you take a puck to the foot it's not like
a oh bother it's like a oh fuck like it it'll it's night ruining if you're not in the nhl like
just fuck it get off the ice like i think i've always used hockey skates over the figure skates because they seemed gay and more difficult to use as well.
When I played hockey, it used to be that if you came early or stayed late, the other team could pick you up, right?
Like Taylor knows, like nine people is not a very good number for a hockey team.
But if you get a tenth, all of a sudden the line changes start working.
You know, it's much better. So I would go would go and be like oh so you got 11 players there lines were sure would be better if
you had 12 huh and uh and they and i would play anyway first period of the game some guy hit my
foot broke it in two places and uh but that was the game before mine so i played five more periods on a broken foot and uh with the boot tight it's manageable but yeah you just can't take it off yeah then that's
when it all starts yeah that's when it all starts but you played five periods on a broken foot in a
men's league that's like what you hear about after playoff series like oh you know turns out
petrangelo had a broken hand the entire time pretty impressive he kept coming out there in fairness in in the league i played in they uh
it was a run clock except for the last two minutes of the game so a 20 minute period takes 20 minutes
as opposed to when they stop the clock constantly where like every 20 minutes is an hour or
something silly it's not icing just let us play it yeah yeah so uh, yeah, I was thinking of playing hockey this winter.
I need to check the PKA, PKN schedule and find a league that doesn't play on our nights.
But I just think I'd really like that.
I think it'd be pretty cool.
One of the things at leagues I'm looking at around here is so many of them are Thursday night.
Really?
But there are some Saturday night ones too ones too which not as appealing but even worse
around here what you get is they're like oh yeah this plague we you know this league sometimes we
play like monday tuesday thursday fridays or sundays like really so you just can't do anything
like no one can go to school at night and play in this league because every so often it'll step on
that night no one could have a job no one could like you just fucking play five different days of the week and i just planned my life around having
wednesdays open like this is what that you can do right that you can find like a wednesday night
league and my skill level so i used to play a league now this is north carolina it might be
less competitive than like other places but i was in in the bottom half. But when I played B, I was in the better half.
Now, I think like if I were to come back,
I'd be a good C player.
Like I think that might be where I land
because I'm older and I'm rusty.
I'd rather be good in the C league
than struggling in the A league.
It's a mix, right?
So the problem with being good in the C League is that, one,
it can be hard not to be selfish.
Like every pass is just a waste.
You know, like I pass it to you.
You can't even receive a pass.
Why pass to you?
And, you know, I don't know.
I like having good teammates.
I like having great teammates.
The ones that pass to you and you can just close your eyes and it hits your tape.
That's amazing.
If you pass to me really hard, there's a chance I'll fuck it up.
I might just even deflect it in front of me and go catch it because I can do that really consistently.
But we had ex-NHL guys in the A-Leagueague and they would hit your tape so hard and so well that
like a mannequin could catch this pass like you didn't have to do anything and yeah I like that
a lot you know I like that I remember like when we do drills like and we'd have NHLers at our
practice sometimes and like you're right they would pass to you so hard that as a kid, like, you're like, is he mad at me?
Like, he just shot that puck at me so hard and we're just playing catch.
But then you realize, oh, no, that's just how an adult man.
Yeah.
Did this for a living.
And that it's like an eye opener to also see, like, it's not all the NHLers that would come to our practice.
We're always like all stars.
Like some of them would be like, oh, that guy.
Right.
That guy who was in the league for like six years and never really made that much he was more of just kind of an agitator and then you
watch them play a bit with normal people and it's like oh so even the worst dude in that league
could make could go to europe and or go in the khl and in russia and make them look bad like
this guy was an nhl player but that was 23 years ago and when he skates it still sounds different than when i
skate it's something else like slices and pushes and and mine sort of slides or bullshits or
something like they're very good and uh yeah and they're yeah these guys are just and like i said
it was a long time ago one of the best players i played against had played in the AHL the year before. So he was like the him.
And one thing about that guy is he always like,
he would fuck with you.
Like NHL players usually had nothing to prove.
They passed a lot.
They tried to make their team win,
but without like scoring seven goals on their own.
This guy was all about scoring seven goals by himself.
Like he hadn't really lived his glory yet
so he was gonna get it in a north carolina men's league
i'm tired of playing for the fucking charlotte checkers or whatever
so let me get in there and just embarrass this 36 year old accountant goalie
his wife's over there filming all of this, making a highlight reel to send to NHL teams.
But what was fun...
Just huge hits.
So he would do dipsy doodle stuff.
He'd try to put it through your legs and then take it back.
Not a pass through your legs.
That's only a low level of embarrassing.
He needs to pass to himself through your legs or something.
And he could break it up a lot because he's doing hard to do stuff so even a
decent player could sometimes disrupt his trick show but uh but yeah i don't know i was thinking
of playing hockey again just as a way to be active and have fun and see what's up you should if they
clear you for it give it a go as long as it's not you know a monday tuesday wednesday thursday
and saturday week i'll have to and where i was going at with my skill level is I feel like I can find a league that fits.
Somewhere in the three rinks around here, being open to B and C,
there has to be a league that works.
So we'll see what's up.
I don't know.
But I think it'd be fun to play hockey again.
I can't do worse than the Flyers.
Yeah, the Flyers are fucking terrible this year and uh
some i think he was on the flyers i'll have to go back and check maybe the flames flames are flyers
but this this complete retard tried to pull so he got in a fight with someone on the flames it
might have been the flyers and it got into be a bit of a kerfuffle i mean a lot of people went
towards the benches where the benches meet and they're fighting and the ref threw the one guy off from the flyers i believe and the guy got like halfway
down that tunnel and then heard like a taunt from one of the flames still on the ice and so he was
like you know i'm not having that so he goes back and he steps back out on the ice which is like
i've never seen that show that you know this is a rule this is clearly a rule once the ref says
all right get out of here you know you have to leave you can't be like you know unfinished business and so he comes back
out on the ice and keeps fighting the guy and then uh they throw him off again and he acted all
surprised and did like the i didn't know i was breaking any rules thing when they're like hey
yeah you're suspended for 10 games which means you forfeit about half a million dollars in salary
but wait they have another guy who's suspended for 10 games it's means you forfeit about half a million dollars in salary. But wait, they have another guy who's suspended for 10 games.
It's not possible you're combining these, is it?
The guy who got suspended for 10 games, it was because he got back on the ice.
He was the guy who got fucked big time.
The guy on the Flames got suspended for one game, Matthew Kachuk.
Okay, the Flyers have another guy.
His last name starts with a G, like Gephardt or something.
And basically what happened is the puck's by the boards,
and they're like, you know, everyone's sort of wrestling forward.
It's physical, as you'd expect.
And the guy on the other team hit him, like, below the chest protector
and kind of like where your liver, bottom of your ribs would be.
And he cross-checks him a couple times, which is illegal,
but as is typical for hockey, like you can get away with it a little.
And so what the Flyers guy does is he lifts the other guy's leg.
He puts a stick by his ankle.
That's what it lifts his leg up high.
Now he's got his stick up high like an axe.
And then he chops it down on the back of the other person's head.
I saw that.
Yeah.
And he's suspended for 10 games games and it's not half a million
it's like 450 000 so it made me think that maybe you combined the two events but uh yeah i didn't
know that gudas the guy who did that slash got got 10 games for it he probably should though
because that was one of those moves that you watch and it's like that that could have somebody
could have died or been paralyzed on the ice right there because there's a gap between the back of your helmet and your
fucking chest protector your back protector whatever which is very light there's nothing
there and he you could see him like with accuracy try to be like fuck you come down so hard on him
you can see the guy on his back and it's like they're all professional hockey players so they're
probably some of the toughest of professional athletes.
And he's laying on the ground like, ah!
Ah!
No one?
Like, Jesus Christ.
Dude, so the guy, when he slashed him, was kind of off balance, right?
But if I'm reading the situation right, this is a professional athlete who was like,
I think I can pull this off as if it were an accident.
That's what he was doing.
Exactly.
Like,
like,
like they never get away with it in hockey.
Like there's some sports where you'll see a guy do something dirty.
You're like,
Oh shit.
They didn't see it.
You're like in professional wrestling.
Yeah.
They miss a lot.
Oddly.
They miss all the dirty shit.
You know,
the guy will literally get a chair in the ring and
deck the other guy and then they'll sneak the chair out and the ref will turn around and count
him out like you don't see the chair you hear the bong like but in hockey it's like and in any
professional sport really like like basketball i occasionally see him get away with like some
elbows or something or something in the in the back court when the action's up front you know
some dirty move but in hockey there's he's got like a seven-foot-long stick
that he's whacking the other guy in the head with.
You're not getting away with that.
I don't know the other sports as well,
but hockey has a, like the league has a board
that works with the Players Association,
and they look at these games after the fact.
You can say, hey, that play, go look at it
and see if he deserves a suspension.
It seems like in most other sports,
once the bell rings or buzzer sounds or whatever it is,
that game is over.
We all put it in the past, right?
It doesn't matter that that guy was punching the other one
in the jaw in the middle of a huddle.
Like, no, no, that was yesterday.
Why would we let...
Not hockey.
In hockey, they look at this shit
and they take action the following day.
It's normal.
They really have to.
It's too dangerous if not.
But that thing I just linked, Woody,
go to like five
seconds and you can see quickly
the slash and then they point it out
and you can see Gudos, the flyer guy,
pretending like, oh,
oops. This I think is
actually exactly the video that I've seen already.
Come on, it's like he's chopping wood.
Right? He was. He hit him in the back of the neck
like he was like like he was trying to make some firewood for on a cold day if you go
you know this is not very cool here look the way on my screen anyway you can see that the
agitating i was talking about you know the yeah that where the guy is uh he's just sort of getting him under the ribs and he's he's rough him up he tears his
helmet off so yeah dude this move where he lifts his leg and then slashes him in the head
i've got a thing appropriate it is it is this is inappropriate but stick flexes he hits him so hard. So it does.
I'm playing hockey.
This is like 15 years ago or something, right?
And I'm on these woodworking forums. And it just so happens there's an ex-professional hockey player on these woodworking forums.
And I was like, I'm in this men's no-check league, and I'm getting bullied.
Like, this really sucks.
And I'm getting bullied.
Like, this really sucks.
And the guy is like, he gives me like half a dozen moves on how to return this bullying.
You know, like all sorts of like, first you pass him.
Yeah, like, you know, like, hey, when you're entering the zone, dump the puck against the boards, right?
You're both going to race towards that puck trying to be the guy that gets it.
Now you have him in the vulnerable position that you're looking for.
Pull his feet out just as he approaches the boards.
If you do this correctly, he hits the boards before he hits the ice,
and it'll totally take the wind out of his sails.
He's like, here's another one.
As you're approaching the end, push the puck up in front of you as if you didn't have a good grip on it.
When he goes by the uh the
glass divider where the bench is check him into that and and but he laid out all of these step
by step revenge things i could do that opened my eyes like because i'm not a real hockey player
right so i'm just like well i guess uh you know when he's like 30 feet from me i'll just run
straight at him as fast as i can that was like my big idea this guy had all sorts of setups to to accomplish this so
the way that he lifted him by the foot and slashed him i wonder if this is a setup that like to him
is a is a sequence that he's aware of because players have them he swung that that stick down like you know like when a japanese
general has been has disgraced himself he'll he'll do harry carry or whatever he'll he'll disembowel
himself but he's always got a standby guy right next to him to like quickly chop his head off to
like put him out of his misery immediately he swung the stick like he was the standby guy
lopping this guy's head off like if if it's in a samurai sword, clean.
Just take it clean off.
Then he has the indignation to be like,
I don't understand why
is anyone even upset?
They're only standing. He's fine.
They're even winning the game.
I think it was when McSorley
hit Brashear, right? So if people don't know, in the game
McSorley and Brashear were kind of mixing it up.
And McSorley wanted to fight Brashear. Amongst enforcers, there's an honor code that says you're supposed to fight. And Brashear, right? So if people don't know, in the game, McSorley and Brashear were kind of mixing it up. And McSorley wanted to fight Brashear. Amongst enforcers, there's an honor code that says
you're supposed to fight. And Brashear is like, you know what? I just choose not to.
You're really tough. And I am too, but why bother? We're winning this game.
So McSorley is trying to like agitate, like trying to say
hey, hey, we're supposed to, you can't not fight. We're both enforcers. That's what we do.
You can't not fight. So he both enforcers. That's what we do. You can't not fight.
So he taps him on the side with his stick,
like maybe on the elbow, on the shoulder or whatever.
And then eventually he hits him in the side of the head.
Now he's wearing a helmet,
but he hits him on the side of the head.
Brashear loses his balance for a moment
and then hits his head on the back of the ice.
His helmet's so loose.
Now it's just bare head on the ice.
And I don't know if everyone here has
fallen on the ice before, but it's unusually hard.
It seems like it's worse than concrete.
There's a clip you're talking about.
It gives not at all.
Yeah, it doesn't give at all.
I'm trying to show this clip.
Oh, it's seven seconds. Perfect.
Uh-oh.
So this just shows the...
Oh, he's dead now.
This just shows the hit. His career career is over it was over after that
but if you watch his his bare head hits the back of the ice i'm gonna like sort of loop it for
people watching and um his defense was that he was trying to hit the guy on the shoulder
that's what he says he's like i was you know like i didn't mean to hit him in the head like that
i was just trying to tap him on the shoulder.
And the judge had the greatest quote.
I'll fuck it up, but
it was something like, you didn't
miss. You hit exactly where you were
trying to hit. He's like, if I was
trying to hit him on the shoulder
with my stick, I could have.
This is the judge talking. If an old lady
beating a carpet with a broom
was trying to hit that, she would get her mark.
A professional hockey player in no way missed his shoulder by a foot.
You hit him in the head because you were trying to.
And that somehow circles back to Gebhardt, right?
He's like, oh, I lost my balance and chopped the – and fucking Ned Starked him, right?
No, you didn't. No, you didn't.
You're a professional hockey player.
And the players, we didn't listen to the audio on the show,
but they were like, hey, even if it was an accident,
you're responsible for your stick.
So they suspended him.
He's a repeat offender too, which is why he got 10 games.
Yeah, they really take repeat offenders serious.
That one guy last year got suspended for like 12 games,
and his excuse was that he was discombobulated
because he got hit hard uh in
his own zone and was like getting up a little odd clearly not like totally out of it and as he was
skating back to his bench there was a ref in the way and he just for some reason just plowed into
the ref and knocked this poor fucking ref right on his ass and he hit his head on the ice and he
just kept skating off the ice as though that's something you do and uh he tried to play it up for weeks of like you know i didn't
even i was so out of it i didn't realize that was a ref that i was totally and you weren't buying it
because i'm halfway buying it i was like uh no because i've seen a lot of players get concussed
and i've never seen one assault a ref they do it in mma a lot kyle i'm sure you've seen it yeah
there's only two people there and you're just very concussed though and they're it in mma a lot kyle i'm sure you've seen it yeah yeah there's only two people there and
you're just very concussed though and they're already in the you know like like it's they're
like so close like like you usually see the other guy like they're knocked out for a flash
and then the people swap like his opponent runs away with his arms in the air celebrating
and then there's the ref's legs yeah so he like tries to do a take down on the ref or something a heel hook here yeah yeah and i've been that i've done that it wasn't a ref
but it was an instructor guy choked me out i was completely unconscious and uh i've told the story
before i don't know what's going on in my head i'm i'm still trying to work my way out of the
situation it turns out the instructor saw this,
saw my neck bent in a way that necks aren't supposed to bend,
ends it, and then I come to.
But in my head, I was blind because my eyes were closed. I didn't see what was going on, but I was still working on it.
And I'm like, all right, let's get right back to this.
So I start trying to take the instructor down.
And then it was when I noticed that he had a black belt. And it was like, hey, this right, let's get right back to this. So I start trying to take the instructor down. And then it was when I noticed that he had a black belt that it was like,
hey, this isn't the same guy.
I must have kicked the other guy's ass in there.
I'm going to you.
Round two.
Speaking of MMA, did you see who the main event for UFC 219 is December 30th?
Is it Holly Holm versus Sengar?
Yeah, it's Cyborg.
Yeah, Cyborg, yeah. What's her name?
Something Zingano?
I forget her real name. Chris Cyborg
versus Holly Holm. Cyborg is her
nickname.
I thought Cyborg's her last fucking name.
Uh-huh.
I could have sworn that her last name was
just Cyborg.
She's called that.
That sounds a little insane now, i i thought her name was literally
chris cyborg is it chris zangano i i literally i thought that was a different fighter now
oh venecio
maybe i thought i i think her last name's like actually fucking cyborg I always did that's clearly a nickname
her name I thought her last name was cyborg she goes by Chris cyborg her name appears to be
Christine Justino Venancio or she should change it to Chris cyborg formerly Christina
Christine Santos which I think is what I had in my head. But anyway, I'm sorry.
Formally John Williams.
The Taylor,
if you don't know her name,
she's the female who is like clearly,
clearly juicing.
She's very strong.
She's got a man size skull.
Yeah.
She's got a gorilla size skull.
She's there's some great eight mixed into that.
She's a,
she's taking a Holly home, though.
Man, if Holly hadn't lost
three out of her last four or whatever,
I would...
I would really want to be on
home side with this thing.
I still think it's a good bet
to put some money on
Holly home because the odds are
four to one
or something. They were very good.
Chris Cyberg looks like a world beater.
Of course, her physique is out of this world.
A lot of guys would like to have that physique.
She's got
that going on.
Her skills look good, but
she's kind of a can crusher.
She has an amazing record and she looks
absolutely dominant against people
who shouldn't be in the ring with her, mostly. She's other stuff like she's fought top level muay thai guys in
muay thai not mma and lost but i admire her to get in there you know and then holly holmes on the
other hand fights only world beaters right she loses sometimes but she's the one who took out
ronda rousey she's the one in there with like really top people and Betche too.
And Holly Holmes as a boxer was like a world champion and highly decorated.
Maybe the high, I've heard the most highly decorated female boxer ever,
but I don't know female boxing well enough to confirm it's true or not.
The only other one I know is Ali's daughter.
Yeah, me too. Yeah.
So anyway, Cyborg is going, that. So, anyway,
Cyborg is going against a smaller opponent,
someone who really should be at 135,
but a very skilled person.
And Cyborg typically just rushes at you
and punches you like mad.
Holly Holmes is outstanding
at dealing with that. So,
let's watch.
Yeah, for sure. I'll tell you this about Cyborg.
She looked slow in that last fight
and her opponent was garbage.
There's a shocker.
They dug up, you know, for the
145 pound belt,
you know, the
first 145 pound
women's fight ever
in the UFC anyway.
They put her up against
this... The girl was overweight. She was out of shape
like she had like fat rolls coming out of her shorts and stuff and it was like and
She lasted for at least two rounds maybe three
And she had a lot of heart and just kept going cyborg couldn't put that chick away. I
don't know I I like Holly in this fight because i just felt like
cyborg looks slow and uh really one-dimensional and i know that she's like undefeated and just
out outrageously big and strong but i don't know holly's a good striker probably kicks her in the
fucking head a time or two and it's game over i've never seen cyborg's ground game but i was
gonna say if her you know she's a complete MMA fighter
and she's going against Holly, then maybe she'll
win that way. But Ronda
Rousey didn't win that way, and I've seen her
ground game lots of times. It's outstanding.
And not only did Holly
prevent her from getting taken down, she took
down Ronda once or twice. So
Holly's not a bad bet in this.
It'd be fun to watch. Yeah, I like
Holly in the fight.
I don't know how those betting sites work.
If I could just plunk down some money on Holly,
I think I'd put $100 on Holly with the odds the way they are.
Because I think if you went...
I think it was 4-1.
I could be wrong.
I looked at it a couple days ago.
But I remember thinking, that's pretty fucking good.
We'll see.
Yeah, that'd be interesting.
I don't know if that's
going to be a big card for them right because although the second fight is uh habib um fighting
someone whose name i can't remember right now barboza maybe i don't remember who it is
but big ish right because i'm sorry you keep going i only care about habib like i really want
to see the fucking eagle fight.
I want to see that.
It's been like a year since he beat up Michael Johnson or whatever.
I want to see.
They said he got him a nutritionist
and that he'll be able to make weight without his liver failing this time.
Apparently he's like 12 pounds lighter than he normally is at this point out.
So he's in better shape.
I don't want Habib to be champ.
I like Habib on my TV, but not as my champ because he's Muslim,
which means that he doesn't eat during the daytime for like four months.
It's some ridiculous period of time.
For Ramadan.
And then only one month?
Well, if it is only one month, you might be right.
I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
But it impacts the sport in a big way because they're like, well, during this month I can't do anything.
So I can't have my training camp.
No, they don't eat well enough to do a training camp.
So the fight can't be during that month, of course.
It can't be the month after because that's when training – it can't be the month after the month after because then that would impact the first four weeks of his training. It needs.
So there's like a four month block that it can't be because there's a month
where he doesn't eat during the day.
And I don't want that in my champ.
I,
uh,
Rogan was talking about detrimental.
When is Ramadan?
I don't know when Ramadan is.
That's always the time of year when the terrorist attacks tick up.
No,
it's when they take down.
Those guys are hungry.
No, you're wrong.
May 15th to June
14th is Ramadan.
Oh, it's a month thing.
Ah, my belly.
Never blow something
up on Intistam.
I know you tell me last time,
Ahmed, I will kill you if you change schedule
on another suicide bombing, I promise. But you may have to come here and kill me then because I can't
make it out today I'm doing horrible yeah but we haven't eaten in three weeks
this whole Hakeem Olajuwon used to have like a bad period in there because he
didn't eat during during the daytime if I remember any good for a lighter to
just suddenly shock your system like that right so not
only is the guy made of glass and miss half his half of his fights but he's missed weight twice
so that's an issue and then he can't fight for like a third of the year because of ramadan so
that's an issue and it's like fuck don't just hold up the belt i'll tell you what he missed weight
twice and he has a month a year he doesn't even eat you'd think that'd be yeah you
think that'd be mutual exclusive yeah he's become a meme already like they uh they mock him for
eating tiramisu and like tiramisu's this whole meme about fighters missing weight and he's uh
yeah he missed weight badly and uh like nearly killed himself trying to make weight like a day
like maybe the day before weigh-ins day day or two out, his kidneys failed.
And I don't know if it's real science
or bro science,
but apparently once you do that,
you're more susceptible to that happening
to you going forward.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
Heard the same.
So anyway,
but yeah,
so I've heard this so many,
I've said it so many times.
UFC does like three or four cards a year
that are like Super Bowl cards,
you know,
the big ones. And typically they do one around New years. That is one of those. And this year
they didn't pull it off. You know, Holly Holmes is your main event or I think it's home. I think
there's no S, uh, Holly home as the main event. She should be third from first, you know? Yeah,
I agree. I, it should be, what would be great is if they had Conor coming back and fighting either Nate or defending the belt.
And then under that, you had Habib fighting as the number one contender or whatever he is down there.
And then Holly and Cyborg blown out. That would be a super card.
Because then, of course, Habib's on the mic talking shit to Conor, and then Conor wins his fight, maybe. And he's like, yeah, bring it on, Habib, on the mic talking shit to Conor and then Conor wins his fight maybe
and he's like, yeah, bring it on
Habib, bring it on. And then you could get
all that drama going.
It would be great.
That would be fantastic. I would watch that
for sure. I'm not going to pay for this card.
Are there any big
Israeli fighters or
Jewish fighters that are in the same
weight class as Habib.
I can't think of any Jewish fighters.
There probably are, and I just don't even know them as Jewish.
Next you'll tell me there are no Jewish folks in the NBA or NHL.
I don't believe you.
Now that you mentioned it.
Wait, wait, are there more black people or Jewish people in the NHL?
Black. Black. Come come on that's easy it's it's got it's gotta be black i've seen the black guy but i've
never seen like charlie goldstein out there fucking defending goals or anything like no
there's there's more black guys than there are jews and that's crazy because there's like
four black guys usually they're good though i don't know what it is's crazy because there's like four black guys.
Usually they're good though.
I don't know what it is.
Like,
I guess there's a few,
it it's,
I don't know.
It's kind of like any other player.
Like there are,
there's a black guy who plays with the caps.
Who's not very good at all.
Devante Smith,
Pelly.
Okay. There's a black guy who plays for the predators.
Who's very good.
PK Subban,
the defenseman.
And then, and then, you know, if I want to get these numbers up,
we're going to have to make it okay with like half black people.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's not fair.
No.
That's not fair?
Wow, I would have gone the other way.
To me, if you're one-eighth black, you're black.
In the NHL, you are.
The one-drop rule.
Yes.
The one-drop rule.
Yeah, I think that's some Jim Crow stuff.
Ah, yes.
If you're one-eighth black,
you are three,
or not three-fifths.
Let's go with four-fifths of a vote.
I believe the term is octolune.
Oh, I was giving the voting.
Remember the three-fifths of a vote thing?
If you're black,
you get three-fifths of a vote.
I figure if you're an eighth black,
you must get another fifth in there or something. Three-fifths is a vote i figure if you're an eighth black you must get another fifth in there or something i figure it's not quadroon lana that's the only
way i know those two words quadroon and octoroon is from archer yeah i think that just must mean
a quarter black and an eighth black right like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know i the ray
roy moore thing is still on my radar, is watching that all the time.
And it's almost – sexual assault in general, and I felt this before the recent wave of sexual assaults, we really need to be more specific on how terrible the assault is, right?
Because now Al Franken – oh, my God.
So I watch a lot of Fox News now, and they are very misleading and bad.
They're like, yeah, Roy Moore and Al Frankenen those two are in hot water aren't they right one's taking a 14
year old girls and touching his dick right the other grabbed a woman well of course there's the
um the groping through the grope proof vest but the the one that really irritates me is is that
even a thing a woman said he grabbed her butt while posing for a picture at a state fair.
And Al Franken's response, I thought, was pretty untargeted.
He's like, I don't remember this picture, but I will say I took thousands of pictures that day.
Each one of them in front of hundreds of people.
Like, that's not sexual assault.
And I just don't think he grabbed her ass in front of hundreds of people.
This is not Weinstein shit.
You're definitely right that there needs to be more defining of terms.
Right.
Because there is too much lumping where it's like, oh, Weinstein and Spacey and Franken.
It's like, well, hold on.
Spacey apparently actually may have molested a boy
was he drunk at the time uh oh yeah so it's good no no no no no the boy i thought that i thought
the boy was i think spacey said he was drunk okay okay but you're still on that one first accuser
guy there's there's 20 or 30 incidents now like he Yeah, Spacey's had a long history of sexual harassment,
sort of flirting and groping, grabbing dicks and grabbing asses
and propositioning young men and that sort of thing for decades.
I wonder if it was his idea to have the gay scene in House of Cards.
Like, yeah, we're going to do a sex scene.
You know what?
Let's get the bodyguard
in here i'm just saying it's a boy yeah it would have been now that would have been dark
oh yeah that second viewing of house of cards you have a hard time watching that scene now
oh god oh not the little boy not again did uh did you see that it came out that another
fucking senator has been harassing and doing that this guy named uh
john conyers rep john conyers having sex with a man in his office oh that's no no he's just a
state guy he got accused of a lot of harassing a lot of staffers, and also it's coming out that he used tax money to pay off people.
And to fly in whores.
And to fly in prostitutes.
Man, if we could find a way to use tax money to fly in whores.
Look, we're judging these guys way too harshly.
Who would not do that if they could?
Again, I'm with Woody on this.
We need to separate these guys into multiple categories.
You've got the Bill Cosbys
and the Harvey Weinsteins
who are literally raping people out there.
And on the other end of the spectrum,
you've got...
I think the Louis C.K. thing, to me...
I don't think he did anything wrong.
Can I just jump in?
I look through it again.
It wasn't that bad to me.
In five seconds,
because I didn't know who he was. I other people might not either john conyers is a
democrat in the house of reps so not a senator but a federal house of rep dude from michigan i
think i wouldn't yeah yeah it's from michigan he's the longest sitting uh uh house of representatives
member i believe wow so he's been doing this for a hot second so he might be pretty powerful because they tend to get seniority
but yeah, Democrat, Michigan, House of Rep
I thought people would want to know that
yeah
I think they did separate them into categories
it's important to know exactly
what these people did
to whom
and if they asked permission or not
in some cases
Louis C.K.
especially. Him getting lumped in to
all this is really, really
not cool for people to be like, Louis
and Spacey. Al Franken too,
I think. So here's Al Franken's
three accusations. So I put him
at one level worse than
Spacey. Not worse than Spacey.
Louis C.K.
He did keep his dick in his pants and he didn't
jerk off. So here's what he did.
They had
a scene where they were going to kiss
as part of their comedy skit
and he said he should rehearse it and apparently
he stuck his tongue in her mouth. He says
that's not true. She says it is true. That's
where that one is. He also
pretended to grope her in front of a camera
while wearing what I like to refer to as
the grope proof vest and uh um that's what franken did the hiney pinching thing at a state fair
is bullshit to me like i don't know i just don't buy that one i try not to just look through blue
glasses but there's hundreds of people around this isn't sexual assault so where do you put
george bush then like george hw bush who apparently grabbed the 16 year old girl's ass during the picture and many others like that was
his thing well so one of one of the differences between bush and franken is that there were like
11 or 13 people that came out and said he did that same thing with him also and he apologized
he apologized which is a weird like boundary of like, well, now we know he's guilty. And like,
it's almost like,
I want to applaud people for apologizing,
but I kind of hold them like now it's also like conviction.
Well,
the thing about Bush,
Bush couldn't deny.
Cause a lot of people hurt.
He,
he told a joke before grabbing the woman's ass.
I forget the joke,
but somehow grabbing her ass was the punchline of it.
Yeah.
Yeah. So, yeah, yeah.
So,
like that,
he just grabbed women's asses
inappropriately,
which to me...
Not always women.
It was the 16-year-old girl, too.
Oh, that makes it worse.
I didn't know about that.
Yeah, that definitely makes it worse.
Yeah, yeah.
That bumps him up a level
on the assault scale to me.
Whereas,
but also,
grabbing an ass like i hope that
if if some woman gets her ass grabbed i know if it happened to me i'm not losing sleep over this
shit you know i'm not feeling violated and going on a life of drugs and and like you know my next
like encounter with a woman who was consensual just didn't have the magic it should have because of that one time six years ago
somebody pinched my butt without permission.
Get over yourself.
Knock it off.
I used to grab this girl's ass all the time
in high school when we were 15 or 16
and she just had a gigantic
ass and you knew that ass
had like two years left on it.
She was pre-fat.
I was going to say good way or bad way. Had like two years left on it. Huh? She was pre-fat. I was going to say good way or bad way.
She had a gigantic ass.
That can mean a lot of things.
Oh, in a good way.
Like in the kind of way where it just wasn't going to last much longer.
Like gravity was going to take this ass from us all.
Pre-fat.
It's a thing.
She was pre-chubby for sure.
But even if she had taken taken on a fitness oriented life like
gravity was going to take this ass from us and i and i knew she's a cruel mistress i had to get it
in while i could and she didn't mind she'd smile and he he he it was a public service just like i
encourage these 18 year olds to dress slutty on halloween 18 year olds there's no power imbalance
listen hot 18 year olds you're not going to be... There's no power imbalance. Listen, hot 18-year-olds.
You're not going to be this hot forever.
You slutted up on Halloween.
I told a lot of girls this.
Seize the day.
Find yourself a cute 26-year-old
and have a few nights of fun.
I get out of the camera,
and I'm like,
look, you're going to want to die in your body.
From St. Louis.
We're going to want to save this for the future
when it's no longer with us.
I'm doing the wind thing.
You'll be glad.
It's so hard to get those developed.
They're terrible.
No, no, no.
Because you send the nudes in to get developed
and they just give you the negatives of the nudes back.
They're like, oh, we don't develop nudes here at Walmart.
I'm like, where do they develop nudes at?
And they're like, that's not
up to me. I took those, I kept
the negatives
for years.
They better be over 18.
She was 18.
We were all 18.
I'm just saying, if you're both 15,
hypothetically, then you hang on to that for
20 years, get rid of that shit. If you hang on to it for a day, it's child porn. If you're 15 and, hypothetically, then you hang on to that for 20 years? Get rid of that shit.
If you hang on to it for a day, it's child porn.
If you're 15 and you take a picture of a 15-year-old,
you are a child pornography-owning 15-year-old
who is very culpable.
You're right about that.
But the scenario where I drew where you hang on to it
way too long, even Woody disapproves of that.
Oh, yeah.
I read that whole thing on Reddit, too.
I actually didn't read it. Oh, well, disapproves of that oh yeah yeah yeah i i read that whole thing on reddit too yeah yeah be careful
didn't read oh oh well um uh it was a confession thing where the girl said that an ex-boyfriend
from high school had met had sent her a picture of herself naked when she was 16 and be like hey
look i've still got this and she was like uh that's kind of fucking creepy and then it turned
out later that he's part of a child porn ring whoa yeah and and she's like ah i bet he used my those pictures of me from when i was 16 and was
like sending them to his weirdo buddies and they all went down was he a male sent them where i mean
there's so many sites which one of those actual there's so many there's a picture of the 16 year old girl i i i it's
very possible that in this picture he's grabbing her like in that moment uh that i linked down
there i'm uh just to play devil's advocate woody i'm curious like what makes you think that this
one is real and the franken one isn't the the ass groping specifically oh uh well i think i the 16 year old
i don't know but the there was a more recent one where he did it like in his wheelchair
and like there were six people around they all heard the joke you know yeah and his wife apologized
yeah and he apologized and his wife and they they sort of said that he does like this is a joke that
he retells all the time and he's a little senile, so I was cutting on some slack for that.
That's why that one doesn't mean as much to me as this one when he was a president, groping a 16-year-old would mean.
Because he's clearly not senile in this.
But, like, if you look at him now, like, he does not look, like, I guarantee somebody ghost wrote that apology for him.
Because he does not he he's fucking
nobody's home
we don't know that
that guy literally jumped out of an
airplane like two years ago
I think it was more than that
he was trying to end it
see the thing is so my
my mother-in-law is living with us
and
I've just sort of, even one year ago, it was like, wow, she's very sick.
So physically, like, she's not able to do a lot of stuff.
But mentally, like, same as always, you know, not a change, right?
So here's this woman who can barely walk across a hallway, right?
Not down the hallway walk across a hallway right it's not a lot not down the hallway across the hallway and uh but mentally like you talk to her about tv or politics
or whatever you're talking about same as it was 30 years ago not true anymore like i i've just
watched like her mental facilities on a good day down 30 on a bad day, down 30%, on a bad day, like literally has no idea if it's a.m. or p.m.
or what state she's in.
And it's changed my mind about older politicians too.
Like, you know, it will come and it will snap.
Are you sure you want someone who's on the edge of this
to have a four-year term?
You know, talking to you, Joe Biden,
who seems great today,
but you want him to get elected at 76?
Talking to you, Bernie Sanders.
Talking to you, Donald Trump.
Trump will be like 75, 76.
If you watch Trump speak, like, in the 15-year-old things, it's easy to find his opinions from 15 years ago.
He's pretty convincing and with it and et cetera.
Like, he's fine.
If you watch him speak now, he is often quoted
with the word salad bullshit that
he comes up with.
That is a guy who's declining.
All my
anti-Trumpness aside, I swear I do my best
not to look at him through a blue lens. I think you lose
a little every decade, right?
I think you lose a little every
decade. I'll buy that. But there's a cliff
in there. There's a cliff in there that most people hit in their 70s,
and they will lose, whatever, 2% a decade.
And then when Trump goes from 73 to 74, he'll lose 30%.
It'll be a problem.
It's possible.
He'll be 74, like 74 and a half when he's done with this term.
Yeah.
And how old is Bernie?
Probably a year older.
Yeah, I've got that in my head.
So I would like to see.
No, Jesus Christ.
He's five years older than Trump.
Bernie Sanders will be almost 80 years old for the next election.
He's 76 right now.
Shit.
Really?
Yeah, he just turned 76.
So he will have just turned 79 for the next election.
Here's my prediction.
Next election cycle, I can't remember her name.
Elizabeth Warren?
Do I have that right?
Yeah.
Pocahontas.
Yeah, Pocahontas throws her hat in the ring, and all the Bernie people migrate.
Because she's the one they wanted in the first place.
Maybe.
I don't know where the Bernie crowd's turning towards. Bernie jumps wanted in the first place here's what i think i think that bernie crowds terny jumps back in there and like and he's he's riding high he he's he's
getting close to beating trump who will who will be running again probably then bernie dies and
trump is re-elected to a second term that's what's coming right it'll be so late you can't take his name off the ballot. Exactly. On November 7th.
2020, because Bernie Sanders is going to die so late into the campaign
that they'll not be able to get anyone to fill his shoes
that'll be able to get the votes to be the Trump.
What if Bernie chooses a vice president that's so on target they want him more?
And they're like, you know what?
Like, hey, we could.
We could get Bernie.
A vote for Bernie is a vote for
vp the only reason that would fail i think is for the same reason that like the democrats didn't
turn out at all this past election is because like nobody liked hillary that much like if all
if the big fans are like really tethered to bernie and then he's not in it and it's some other dude
a big percentage or a significant percentage of them at least are going to stay home and bernie
can't pick someone as far to the left as he is,
so he'll have to go closer to the middle.
Oh, I didn't consider that aspect of it.
You're right.
That's what normally people do.
Do the rules change with a president you expect to die?
I don't know.
Should we have age caps on the presidency?
No.
Do you think that they should do like, all right, hard stop at 80?
This thing's interesting.
Come on.
I don't like the entertainment argument.
But for the same reason that I think if Roy Moore, the child molester, gets chosen, I think he should be the next senator.
That's my take on it.
I take the whole voters choose the politicians
very seriously. And you can't have
politicians just say, oh look, I know
this guy won the vote. I know he got most
votes, but that's not enough.
No, no, no. That is enough.
We knew he wasn't going to molest us.
Yeah, right? I'm way
too old.
So anyway, I think that there should
I think voters should choose their politicians
and that's that. Hell, I'd get rid of the have to be 35
thing. Not that it's ever been
tested, but voters should be
able to pick. Who was the closest
to that? Kennedy?
Is he the youngest president ever?
Or did we have some super young president
in like 18, 14?
Nah, Kennedy. It's Kennedy.
It's a bunch of old
white men and then Kennedy who was like Obama was pretty young too I don't think
Obama was as young as Kennedy because Kennedy was like early 40s wasn't he
when he got it I thought he was late so Roosevelt Theodore Roosevelt was the
youngest at 42 Kennedy was 43 Clinton was. And Obama was the fifth youngest at 47.
Okie dokie.
Kennedy was the best looking.
In look 43 or whatever.
Yeah.
Clinton was young too.
What's funny is Clinton served and then I guess he was after W,
but they're like the same age. No, I'm saying it wrong. W was after W, but they're like the same age.
No, I'm saying it wrong.
W was after.
But now that the presidencies are done,
you expect the presidents to be like an ascending age,
but Clinton is actually younger than W.
Yeah, and then Carter is so old looking, it's insane.
He and George H.W. bush are vying for the next you know spot in the afterlife i just i scrolled down trump is actually the oldest president ever to be elected
second to well maybe this is a little confusing reagan is the second oldest
but i guess reagan's second term he was probably older than Trump's first term.
We need everything.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway.
That's interesting.
Presidents' ages.
Yeah, let's just go through.
You probably didn't know the 17th oldest president.
Stop!
It was James Madison.
It was James Madison.
I don't even know where to go.
It's been an hour.
I love my theory here about how Donald Trump is going to get re-elected.
That Bernie is going to run.
He's going to be flying high.
He's going to be leading all the polls
and then he's just going to fucking die. I've got the opposite theory. And they're going to be saying high. He's going to be leading all the polls, and then he's just going to fucking die.
I've got the opposite theory.
And they're going to be saying that Trump had him killed.
One, if someone's going to die, Trump is way up there on the list.
He's a very fat 71-year-old man.
No, he's not.
Dude, I've put down dogs healthier than Donald Trump.
Whatever weight you lost, he has found it.
Yeah, that guy.
With the sexual assault thing,
I see current Trump.
Now, some of these sexual...
A lot of his Trump assaults,
sexual assault accusations,
that's what I'm looking for.
A lot of these Trump accusations
are very old,
but I see current Trump
and I'm like,
no way was that consensual.
I have to reprogram and think,
yeah, well, 45 years ago, maybe it was.
But, or I mean, when he was 45.
Oh, yeah.
But here's the thing.
He was the bell of the ball then.
Everybody in Hollywood and, you know,
the media loved him.
Yeah.
Anyway, so what I want to say was this.
When H.W. was president,
nobody wanted to run against him.
He was incredibly popular during the first Iraq war.
So all the Democrats were like,
fucking, you know, I might run for president,
but not this year.
You know, this year it's just lambs to the slaughter.
And then a recession hit,
made him much more vulnerable,
and Clinton got elected.
And he raised taxes.
And when he said, read my lips,
read my lips, no new taxes.
And they raised the fucking taxes.
That happened, yeah.
So I look at this year as kind of the mirror of that
in that every Democrat who has any presidential aspirations
has to be looking at Trump saying,
dude, whoever wins the Democratic primary
wins this next election.
And I believe that.
It's three years from now.
Things could change.
But I think whoever wins the Democratic primary
gets the next presidency.
So everyone who's any good at all should throw their hat in the ring.
The Democrats should come up with someone.
Wait till Trump fights his war, then you'll see.
You might be right.
We'll see when the Trump war begins.
Trump will go hardcore.
He thinks he looks like Patton because he does.
He'll have that fucking hat.
He'll put that general's hat on.
He'll put the three stars on on. He'll put the three stars
on it. He'll be out on the battlefield
doing photo ops. You might be right.
That would be so polarizing.
That would be fucking hilarious
to me.
If everybody's thinking alike, if somebody isn't
thinking.
Doing Patton quotes.
Imagine him sticking out of the top of an Abrams
tank with a pearl handled 1911 on a shoulder harness and a helmet.
With a helmet strap across his mono-chin.
He's made himself a four-star general.
He's made himself a four-star general,
and he's just pointing.
He's demoted himself?
I know.
Why would he do that?
Well, you can't be a five-star, generally.
He could be a six-star. He should do it.
No, it's literally against the law
to be a six-star. Who makes the laws
around here? Congress.
Well, that's true, but
okay, he has to have
some star. Watch him have a five-star
helmet and one's a
gold sticker that a kindergartner might
get.
They possibly promoted George Washington to a six-star general.
Then they made a law that no other general could ever be a six-star general,
so no one could ever outrank George Washington.
Yeah.
Now, couldn't you also be a six-star general and not outrank him?
You would just parallel rank him?
None of my predecessors had seen this loophole.
I have a 5.9 star
the same as the yelp review at the trump hotel just constructed here in washington
we'll check it out if so when Usually whenever someone fires off a war,
they get very popular.
It happened with H.W.
It happened with W.
I don't want to say it happened with Clinton,
but he didn't really start any good wars.
He was kind of peace-loving.
Come on, he bombed the shit out of
Slobodan Milosevic over there.
Yeah, airstrikes, did that count?
I think they definitely counted.
They were happy about that.
He blew up a lot of people.
I definitely don't remember the same, like,
oh my god, I suddenly need a flag license plate holder
thing that happens
with every other war.
But if Trump starts a war,
there's an aspect of me that says,
oh my god, he's going to get blasted for it.
Everyone's going to hate him, etc. With Russia and Ukraine, there's a aspect of me that says, oh my God, he's going to get blasted for it. Everyone's going to hate him, etc.
With Russia.
In Ukraine.
There's a bill up right now
where they want to arm the Ukrainians against Russia.
See, that's how...
See, this is a two-pronged attack.
You quash all the Russian collusion
and you start a war
by starting a war with Russia.
Then in the debates,
if anyone...
Nobody's going to be... This man's been coll war with Russia. Then in the debates, if anyone... Nobody's going to be...
This man's been colluding with Russia!
He's killed 13,000
of them this year!
I think this is the key to his
re-election. He needs to kill some Russians.
Let's give Mongolia
just a ton of shit and just see what happens.
They're right between
China and Russia.
Maybe they could get some some some churning somebody upset
over there maybe make the russians and the chinese still use horse archers like like what are they
doing now i you know why i think they might because they don't have roads like it mongolia i
actually it's a shithole what i know of mongolia i i have this motorcycle that's like sort of a
cross-country style motorcycle the bmw gs people know it and that's like sort of a cross-country style motorcycle, the BMW GS, if people know it.
And that's like a choice that people use when they drive around the country, when they ride their motorcycles around the planet, I mean to say.
And Mongolia, it's fucking unpaved.
It's the hardest part, like your trek across Mongolia.
So I think horses make a lot of sense in Mongolia.
It's not paved there.
All right. Okay, well, then fuck my idea if we're just going to be loading up a bunch of satchel bags full of grenades or whatnot on horse riders.
It doesn't take a lot to cause trouble, right?
All you got to do is still use our choppers and such.
And it's in the Mongols' blood, too, to cause mischief in that area, right?
Is it?
You're going off the Genghis Khan stuff?
Genghis Khan?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe you're right.
I don't know. Have you ever seen the movie where John off the Genghis Khan stuff? Genghis Khan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you're right. I don't know.
Have you ever seen the movie where John Wayne played Genghis Khan?
No.
It's absurd.
It's absurd. The rest of Mongolia is going to be mine, pilgrim.
That's what I was doing the other day.
Same fucking thing.
I was Chinese-er and for a whooping.
He's got that silly mustache like the the two
little lines right here that don't connect you know like the the stereotypical mongolian uh
mustache and and he's all like they made him look kind of asian for this thing it's absurd
nowadays that be you know what i want to talk about a little bit i don't know if you want
if you're married to this type. Walking Dead.
Are you caught up on Walking Dead?
Yes.
Yes.
You guys have turned me off to watching it this season,
so I have not watched it anymore.
So the last episode, people are saying, was good.
Oh, my gosh.
The last episode, finally, some character development,
so that Negan was in like 80% of it and stuff.
It was still shit.
I feel like they don't know how to make a show.
Last year was 16
episodes worth of build-up
bullshit. Nothing happened. It was terrible.
16 episodes. He does look Asian. I'm going to put him
on the screen. This year
it's nothing but the opposite.
It's like,
I don't know. I ordered vegetables and wanted salt on them
and they're like, oh, all right, all right.
Well, next time we'll just give you a pile of salt
and maybe you'll enjoy this meal.
They have no idea how to do pacing.
They have no idea how to make it good.
Every time you complain about something,
they're like, oh, wait, wait.
These people want more action.
They're going to be nonstop action.
Oh, they want more character development. Go on. They're bad at making TV shows. They are. They're bad at making TV wait, wait, these people want more action. They're going to be nonstop action. Oh, they want more character development.
Go on.
They're bad at making TV shows.
They're bad at making TV shows.
Oh, my God.
They're bad at it.
Okay, so there was a movie, Airbender, the last Airbender.
I thought that movie on a scale of 1 to 10 wasn't as bad as other people say it was.
I thought it was like a 5, you know, an average movie.
The problem is, okay, Kyle says 2. The thought it was like a five, you know, an average movie. The problem is,
okay, Kyle says two,
the source material was a 10, right?
The source material in my head
was like Lord of the Rings-ish.
Like it was top of the heap.
So they should have made
like three 10s out of this.
And instead they came out
with what I thought was one five.
Most people say worse.
That's what Walking Dead is to me.
Like the concept here could be
awesome this could be a long-running thing like star trek or something like we could kill off
rick and his whole crew and morph to another one like star trek does this thing could go on for
100 years but they're shitty at making tv shows and we are where we are
They're shitty at making TV shows.
And we are where we are.
Yep, I agree completely.
My issue is this.
We should have wrapped this Negan thing up last year. Yes!
Last year should have completed the entire war and the Negan thing.
And that would have made the show better.
Plus, fix the gun stuff.
Get the guy who does John Wick gun stuff
and hire him.
Spend an extra million dollars. It can't cost
much more than that.
Make the world bigger.
I want to know what's happened on the planet.
I want to know what's going on.
Don't tease me with a helicopter flying over
that you'll come back to at the end of the year
and give me another teaser. Two years from now, we'll get to see where that helicopter is and it'll be really
underwhelming that's what's going to happen they'll be like oh yeah there's these people over here
they got a helicopter yeah yeah no big deal it's they're really they don't have any food they've
just got a helicopter that's all they have like like what you want it to be is like like the
the federal government has come back together and there's a guy there with answers and he's got a satellite.
He shows you the satellite feed and they're like, well, it started here.
And as you can see, the Europeans, well, they fell back to France where they started a border wall.
And you want that.
You want an epic episode where they show you what's going on all around the globe.
And they talk about how the Australians fell and how there's people living on oil rig rigs out there living on fish or something like i want to know what's going on
i don't care we're in virginia we're in the bullshit virginia and we're having a war in
virginia okay we're having a war where like almost 200 people have died in this season
almost 200 so far why did they just? It's not like they were farming
there in Virginia.
Go up north. Go to the west.
Go anywhere. It's a big fucking country. That's the
whole point. If people don't know, Walking Dead is
16 episodes, but they break it into a mid-season.
So they do 8 episodes and there's
kind of a cliffhanger in the 8th one.
And then they do 9 through 16. If last
season had done what they're
doing in 32 episodes over 16, it'd be a good show.
They could have spent seven episodes with the sort of Rick getting down and sort of beaten and depressed.
And then episode 8, cliffhanger, he says, we're going to go fuck these guys up.
I'm tired of being pushed around.
And then episode 9 kicks off and they start fighting Negan until 16
when they're going to win instead they're taking 32 episodes 16 episodes of Rick being depressed
followed by 16 episodes of them holding down the trigger on fully auto guns for an hour at a time
hours at a time and then by the way like I was reading on reddit someone put it really well
no one is like like, scared.
Every single one of them is, like, competent and clear thinking
in all these battle scenarios.
But it's gunfire, right?
So even professional soldiers are like, oh, my shit.
Paintball's scary.
Yeah, paintball's scary.
You go to paintball, people are like, oh.
That's true.
And they should be walking in three inches of ammo shells, right?
Like brass, right?
You hold down a fully auto-trip.
They should be tripping over ammo boxes.
But these guys have those magical Hollywood guns.
And look, I don't complain about gunplay in every show.
Like I'm not one who says, oh, I don't know.
That sounded like 40 in a 30-round magazine.
I don't know that sounded like 40 in a 30 round magazine not yeah i
don't do that but or like you know i'm okay with inferring there was a reload off screen but what
they do is outrageous they have no more ammo just one magical thing the gun's not even firing there's
no recoil on the gun just the sound of a different gun you know shooting with cgi sparks on a car and it is done by the
way sony vegas shit yeah yeah poorly freddy you know the when you shoot a gun you know the the
bolt reciprocates it moves back and forth and like that guy with that m14 and that clip we
watched last week it's not moving it's not moving. And you got a clear view of it not moving.
And I'm like, you know, that thing kicks a bunch.
It's so bad.
And like, I don't know.
Even TV shows are typically not so cheap
that they don't fire blanks.
Yeah.
Like this is next.
And it's always Walking Dead
who like pushes the boundaries of special effect
you see better special effects on saturday night live i've been re-watching boardwalk empire and
like i was thinking like i watched a few episodes of boardwalk and then i watched the new episode
of walking dead like i was kind of watching them side by side they use blanks and squibs
you squibs sometimes in boardwalk empire which is you know the the real cost and squibs. You use squibs sometimes in Boardwalk Empire, which is, you know, the real cost with squibs,
which is an explosive that's in their clothes
under a blood pack.
So there's a pop, the clothing bursts,
actual liquid blood, not blood, but red stuff,
squirts out of their shirt.
That's how I want people to look when they get shot.
Think RoboCop.
Like, I love RoboCop,
because when people get shot especially in that
scene where you know um robocop becomes robocop when he's just a regular guy and and uh red foreman
and his band of miscreants like machine gun him to pieces like there's squibs going off everywhere
they're expensive not just because someone has to apply them and then you know the material of
using one but also because you have to shoot that scene and then be like all right put a whole new wardrobe on him clean all
the blood out of the area uh reload the squibs and then we'll shoot it again so there's like an
hour of downtime every time you want to shoot the scene whereas if they just do cgi like impacts on
somebody you just add it in post and you don't need to do any of that so you can just you can do multiple takes rapidly of the guy just kind of wiggling and you know doing you
know 55 people on set twiddling their thumbs getting paid while six people reset it yeah it's
a lot more expensive to use squibs but it's worth it to me i it matter i i love it so much when they
use squibs it's it's it's a big deal for me when i see squibs i'm like
oh i like that a lot i like seeing the blood squirt out when they get shot change of pace
game of thrones someone said something on reddit today that resonated me with me
the two worst actors in game of thrones are the two main ones that's kit harrington john snow right
all he does is brooding right he's always his Snow, right? All he does is brooding, right? His only emotion
is brooding.
Isn't that a rough life?
He's a rough ghoul.
Right? And then you have Emilia Clarke. Emilia Clarke, the Queen of Dragons or whatever,
Mom of Dragons. Mom of Dragons, I'm pretty sure, is her actual term.
Yep.
Anyway, all she does is blank expression trying to infer some sort of confidence and power.
And that's it.
Again and again and again.
There's no range of emotions.
There's no real acting.
There's no delivering on the lines beyond what's in script.
It's just saying it brooding or saying it stone-faced between Jon Snow and mom.
It doesn't bother me too much, either of them.
I think of any
of the actors that I noticed being bad
through the whole series, it was Littlefinger.
Because his accent was
constantly amorphous and moving around.
Sometimes he was Irish, sometimes he wasn't Irish.
Well, that motherfucker traveled so much, he was picking
up some new fucking stuff.
You might be more sensitive to that
than other viewers, because you're good at accents.
Maybe. Yeah, I didn't like that
from him though because I think he probably is
Irish and he was bouncing all over the place.
But Kit Harington, the brooding
thing, you're right in a way. I just like him
as a character so I'm willing to excuse it.
However, Khaleesi, I don't like her as a character
and her acting is not good.
Yeah, if you've seen her in the Terminator movie,
Terminator Genisys, it's terrible.
They cast her as Sarah Connor,
and I've went through this before,
but Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor,
Linda Hamilton worked out for a year.
She's ripped.
In 1991, I think the movie came out in 91,
she's ripped like no women were in 91.
1991
Linda Hamilton is
the most ripped woman you've ever seen in your
life in 1991. It's absurd.
She looks like a professional
athlete for that era. Because she knew
what was coming, the character,
and she had spent like
15 years preparing for this war.
Who's the Oliver North dude?
It was a radio show.
G. Gordon Liddy?
G. Gordon Liddy, yeah.
Yeah, he has this great line.
He's like, look, if you want to be a lawyer, you go to law school.
If you want to be a doctor, you go to med school.
If you want to be a soldier, you go to the gym.
And she took that to heart.
Yeah, I'm looking at pictures of her she
certainly did there's this epic scene where like uh that she she's locked up in uh this mental
hospital for trying to blow up a computer factory and the guy who runs the place is is showing some
students around and he's like and this is sarah connor blah blah they are going to her room to
show her off she's flipped her steel bed up on its end and she's doing pull-ups on the steel bed
and her biceps and shoulders are just fucking ripped while she's cranking out legit chin-ups
and you know women can't do chin-ups very well like it's a thing most of her body strength she's
cranking them out she's fucking and there's beads of sweat all over and she just turns around hello doctor
how's the knee and he looks back at the suit she's like she she stabbed me with my own pen a few weeks
ago she's such a badass in that movie it's great terminator 2 is one of the best action movies ever
made you really need to watch terminator. And the special effects fucking hold up.
They're so good.
Huh. Okay.
It's the finger.
What was I going to say? I don't know. Maybe rap?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure.
Alright. Painkiller
nearly 170.