Painkiller Already - PKN #173

Episode Date: December 22, 2017

It's PKN time baby! ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Oh, PKN episode 173. Damn, that's a lot of episodes. So we have two topics to lead with, I think. Yeah. And then it'll just flow into something else. It will. That's how it always goes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:11 So as you know, Taylor and I are hardcore Republicans, as they like to say on the subreddit. They wanted to know if we were in support for Roy Moore. And of course we are. Of course we are. Yes. in support for Roy Moore. And of course we are. Of course we are. Yes.
Starting point is 00:00:27 The man who signs children's yearbooks and has been banned from certain malls. Kyle, are you telling me you don't sign local children's yearbooks? I mean, no. Some of the hottest people are between 14 and 17. We all know that.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Yeah. The man just might be ahead of his time. I think he's way, way behind the times. I don't normally support Republicans, but you all know I represent the pro-pedo demographic on the show. Yeah, Woody's like, God damn it. If he only didn't have an R next to his name, I could get behind this guy. God, write down the checklist. All of it, you know?
Starting point is 00:01:08 Ah, fuck. Not the right guy, you know? What kind of bothers me is Doug Jones. He's actually the candidate that, like, I wish more Democrats were. I think Democrats cost themselves a lot of vote with the anti-gun thing. I've said this a hundred times, so quickly. with the anti-gun thing. I've said this a hundred times so quickly.
Starting point is 00:01:28 The people who like guns like them a lot. The people who dislike guns, really it's like their 13th most important issue typically. And if the Democrats would just be like, you know what? Like we're losing votes on this thing and we're not gaining any. That's what Doug Jones is. You know, he's up there saying,
Starting point is 00:01:41 I use guns to hunt, not to prance around on stage. Right. I'm a pro gun guy. He's that's part of his platform. So if you're running in Alabama and you're pro gun Democrat, then at least, you know, you'd mess that up. He's apparently pretty conservative for Democrat. They asked him about abortion. He's like, well, you know, I'd have to look at the laws one by one. I don't know what to make of that. Sounds kind of pro choice. I think his thing like he is in favor of abortions up until the delivery date, I think.
Starting point is 00:02:11 Or I saw something about that. The delivery date? I mean, after that, it just becomes murder, right? Yeah. I would argue that if you're aborting a baby on delivery day, it's already murder. You're murdering a baby. Well, no, no. I guess delivery date.
Starting point is 00:02:23 Because I was going to say maybe up until delivery time, right?'t know that's that's so fucked up it is like that is to be like and also like who uh who puts it off for that long like who gets to like seven months pregnant and they're like you know what nah fucking kill it but you know it has like fingernails and its own blood type and like everything's working in there. Like if you – It's waving. Look on the sonogram. I don't know where that number is.
Starting point is 00:02:54 It's waiting for the hour. We tried to put the syringe in, man, but it keeps dodging. The Republicans tried to pass something recently that said you had five months, right? And I'm pro-choice. I think we all are. But I heard five months and I thought, eh, that's about right-ish. You know, I'm there. If they said three months, I'd be like, talk to me. You know, what does a three-month-old look like? A three-month fetus look like? You know, I think that I've heard right now that the most
Starting point is 00:03:20 common time to have an abortion is three and a half months. I don't know if that's true. It came from my mom, but let's say it sounds right-ish, right? I three and a half months. I don't know if that's true. It came from my mom. But let's say it sounds right-ish, right? I know. I hear you. I hear you. But I think if the law of the land said three months and the time runs out, then that time would come earlier, right?
Starting point is 00:03:35 The people would be like, dude, I know I've got to get this taken care of by three months. Then it would change public behavior. And I'm pro-choice, but let's go as early as possible ladies right let's not hang out you know and i'm still fine up until delivery date uh in those cases where it's like the mom of the baby like that oh yeah oh yeah i think everybody's okay with like uh not everybody
Starting point is 00:03:59 like saving the life of the mother or i i think the overwhelming majority of even like pro-life people are okay with that. I don't poll a lot of people about abortion. I would like to ask, are your parents pro? They're not. They're pro-life. Mine? Yeah. Very much so. Yes, yes, yes. As a matter of fact, I was talking to my mom yesterday
Starting point is 00:04:19 and she said, I will vote for the child molester over the baby killer. Wow, I will vote for the child molester over the baby killer. Wow. I like that rationale. Yeah. If you do believe that in your heart, like your mom does, that it is murder, then that I can see how you could think about it. You'd arrive there, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Like if you genuinely think like that is fucking murder. There are murderers about. You're like, yeah, well, of course. I'm not on the murderer's side i'm gonna sit on this uh on the side of this creep who fucking rides into town to vote on a horse like some asshole did you see that no did you see the clip so this this fucker uh roy moore like i saw it like a twitter gif of it today it's like roy moore showing up to vote and this fucker is on a horse like riding in and it's like is this who is this swaying who was like well i was i wasn't sold on the whole thing about 14 year olds getting kicked
Starting point is 00:05:11 out of malls but he rides horses you know yeah i'll i'll get out and vote it's like no but i don't know that just struck me as beyond silly to do this to ride a horse and what color horse i'm curious i don't like brown brown or white or uh brown with white spots i don't know it's interesting that uh i want to say in the last like seven to ten days things he said have been popping up one after another after another and i remember when uh hillary's emails were popping up like week after week. Kyle's like, if they were a YouTuber, they'd know what they were doing. You know, you don't just dump it all on one day and let that story age. You keep it leaking.
Starting point is 00:05:52 You keep that to be a current event. Suddenly, Roy Moore is saying all the amendments after 10 have been bad, like freeing the slaves, letting women vote, stuff like that. Suddenly, Roy Moore is saying like, when was America great? They asked him, you Roy Moore is saying, like, when was America great? They asked him, you know, make America great again. When was America great? He's like, well, you know, back when we had slaves, like, you know, there were some issues, of course, but families were families.
Starting point is 00:06:14 They were tight. They were together. That's when America was great. Really? Really? Pre-Civil War? And he didn't say, like, you know, I don't even know my dates that well, 1820, which would be pre-Civil War. He was like, back when there were slaves.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Like, you know, yeah, yeah. Like 1862? Ah, yeah. The whole time. It was just fucking great. Yes. But, like, objectionable thing has been leaking, like, every single day for the last 10 days. And it seems like a concerted
Starting point is 00:06:46 effort i don't know if it's grassroots or the dnc or what but there's just been negative stuff coming to my view all the time yeah it's on a regular upload schedule they're uh they're definitely hitting the hitting it strong and the time no but but no i wouldn't vote for roy moore uh mostly because i mean i'm i'm sure you could throw up a candidate that I would prefer Roy Moore to. I'm not going to, he's not, he's not literally Satan. He's just a man who seems to have a very unhealthy interest in young girls and some really backwards, racist, homophobic, anti-woman sort of views. Misogynist, yeah. Yeah, misogynistic sort of views. Misogynist, yeah. Yeah, misogynistic sort of views.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Yeah, if I lived there, I wouldn't vote in this election. You just wouldn't vote. Yeah, I wouldn't vote for Moore because he seems like a piece of shit. And then I also wouldn't vote for the other guy because I probably don't agree with him on much at all.
Starting point is 00:07:44 I don't like that. I was thinking about this earlier today. You've got to vote for one. If you're going to be an Alabama politicalite, you've got to vote for one. Politicalite? That's what they call him in Alabama. He is on to something there.
Starting point is 00:08:01 I think I'd vote for the liberal guy because the liberal guy doesn't sound that bad to me from Woody's brief description of the man. You know, like I can get on board with that. I doubt I disagree with him about too much. And Alabama is probably a place that could benefit from some liberal thinking to some extent, right? Like it's pretty third world over there just to the left of my state. It's a special election. Does anyone... It doesn't last...
Starting point is 00:08:27 Does it last for six years? Fuck, I don't know. I don't know. You know what they should have done? If only someone could have got Roy Moore to just drop out, they could have replaced him with any other Republican and he would have won handily. Like, they could have won handily. Like,
Starting point is 00:08:45 they could have done that easily. He really fucked it up by not being willing to step down. You know it was too late. It was when... Yeah, you're right. By the time the accusations came out, it couldn't do... Do you run with your lieutenant governor?
Starting point is 00:09:01 Like, is that declared? Couldn't he leave and then his lieutenant governor is the guy who gets voted in? Oh, like after he wins? I don't think there is a lieutenant senator. He'd have to win first. Is he a senator?
Starting point is 00:09:17 I thought he was a governor. I don't know shit. Jesus Christ, Kyle. I just didn't care. I just know because it's trending on Twitter, Alabama Senate election. If people don't know, a U.S. senator typically goes for six years. But this is a special election. What happened is Jeff Sessions was an Alabama senator, and then he became attorney general.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Trump said, hey, would you be my attorney general? He said, yes. This other dude, I'm going to screw his name up like Laverne or Levine or something. He became the appoint, the governor chooses who's going to backfill Sessions and they chose this dude. This dude is the one Trump wanted to win. He supported him. Bannon wanted Roy Moore. Weird, they were split, but they were split. but they were split. Bannon beat Trump. That's what happened. And Roy Moore won the primary. So then when it becomes too late for anyone to drop out and the ballots are printed and there are laws that go state by state, but there are laws saying how late someone can drop out,
Starting point is 00:10:21 that time has passed. When the ballots are set, suddenly we find out that this Alabama primary winning Republican senator to be is a pedophile. Well, a child molester. Apparently pedophiles like him even younger, but he's a child molester. And now a Democrat who previously would have no chance in Alabama is running against a child molester and it's neck and neck. Well, I hope – I don't care. I guess I hope Roy Moore loses because, I mean, what a scumbag. You know, like he just – it's a real black eye on our democracy, I feel like, if he wins. It looks bad.
Starting point is 00:11:07 I heard something that you can, yeah, but then that opens up, like, a whole other can of worms of, like, should you be able to tell a state that votes someone in, like, ah, no, the rest of us really disagree, so, so no. Well, I don't think my opinion should count. disagree so so no well i don't think my opinion should count i'm just saying like i feel i i i think less of alabama than i already did if they vote roy moore and that's all i'm mixed though right because because here's where i am so alabama gets to choose this guy i'm with you right like you don't just get to say i'm sorry alabama your votes don't count don't count but should he not be like immediately towards the ethics panel that like Al Franken was going to throw himself at? How that ethics panel is not going to do shit. I don't think they have any power.
Starting point is 00:11:50 My theory on the ethics panel now is everyone who touches it gets electrified, right? The ethics panel doesn't even have to like throw him out. Al Franken hasn't even stepped down. I doubt he will. He said he will. And then I bet six months from now he's still
Starting point is 00:12:05 enjoying that seat. No, there's a timetable, and it's not very long. It's like less than 20 days. I don't think he set a specific timetable to when he was going to step down. Maybe you're right. You might be right. I think they interpret like the news was reading between the lines is what I saw, but it's not very long.
Starting point is 00:12:22 It's just a few days, like a week or two. No, I'm pretty sure that Al Franken is going to be toast. And he wasn't accused of anything half as bad as Roy Moore. I hear you, but when it started getting up to seven and eight women with similar accusations, it started getting a little ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:12:38 I think there's some sort of agency that provides these women, right? Is there somewhere you can call to hire these women to accuse people? Because, man, they come out of the woodwork fast. Kyle, are you implying that just because after 30 years, accusers come forward right after the deadline for when you can drop out and put a new candidate in
Starting point is 00:12:58 during a special election? Are you saying that that's dubious in any way? Because if you are, Kyle, you're a rape apologist. You're a rape apologist. You're not using common sense and kind of looking at something and being like well let's let's kind of view the situation you're a you're an apologist you're a rape i'm i'm i hear where kyle's going with this this particular thing is really well sourced though like right out of the gate there were like oh yeah seven women or five women and like 30 references. None of these women know each other. They're not related in any way.
Starting point is 00:13:28 And then since those five, it's gone up to like nine. And the 30 number, like people that also were aware of this story, it's exploded. There's multiple people who have like him writing notes and stuff to their teenage selves yearbook signings and letters and stuff that the uh the date was forged no not exactly what happened is he signed the yearbook and then she wrote like the time and place or something that he signed it yeah yeah i said just the date like the time and everything like they were saying like that's what ruined their credibility with the yearbook thing why wouldn't they just say off the start hey yeah i added the date here the time and everything. They were saying that's what ruined their credibility with the yearbook thing. Why wouldn't they just say off the start, hey, yeah, I added the date here.
Starting point is 00:14:08 The rest is him instead of from the start being like, well, no, this is all him. It's all – oh. I wish she had said that from the start. I'm with you there. Fox News ran with it though. The whole thing wasn't credible. All she wrote is the date next to it. Suddenly they're like, oh oh my god forged yearbook
Starting point is 00:14:26 you know the story's falling apart this and that the fox news story was outrageous and by the way they had to retract it because they were framing it in such a way that like it wasn't true they made it seem like she wrote the entire thing he really did sign teenage girls high school yearbook and then she was like you know whatever uh when do you graduate june of you know 73 and and like maybe a location or something like it was more than just a date like she wrote like a time and place that he did that so fucked up i think overall it seems pretty credible like although and that's not the only written proof there's more like he's writing letter to a different girl like she was dragging stuff out of the attic she's like look at this there's a thing real she was searching for christmas decorations and she found the roy moore letter
Starting point is 00:15:12 to her and uh and that one is past muster as well like it's real he's writing lots of letters to his teenage wannabe lovers and uh yeah i'm okay as long as look i just follow the law you know what's the whatever the age of consent is but you know there's always like a not always but sometimes it's like you must be within seven years of the 16 year old or whatever the statute is like for just follow that dude like like do you really have to be finding like 14 and 14 year olds like like i don't think the age of consent is 14 in alabama is it definitely not i'm asking i don't think it's lower than 16 anywhere in the country i think you're wrong about that uh i think it's 14 commonly if you're within four four years and then oftentimes it steps up to 16 consent to anyone i I mean like adult to someone above 18 to someone below 18.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Not like... We've talked about it before where if you're 16, you can date a 14-year-old or something. If you have sex, you're good. Taylor and I, I've converted Taylor over to the thought process that 18 and older.
Starting point is 00:16:22 18 and older. 18 is... On Tinder, you know, you can turn that thing up and down, you know, set your age parameters. I came into the church of Kyle hesitant to that teaching, and I left a believer. So where was it before?
Starting point is 00:16:39 Oh, and it's all right if you want to fuck an 18-year-old. It's all right. You're both frozen for me, but it's pretty funny. want a fucking 18 year old it's alright you're both frozen for me but it's pretty funny it's natural so Taylor you were originally shooting higher they were saying they had to be 22 or something maybe like 21 probably makes more sense
Starting point is 00:16:56 because then we can go out and get a drink or whatever and then Kyle gets a lot of good points you know that's funny have you met anyone under 21 uh that i'm interested in no okay i like i'm i feel like i'm kind of transitioning more into like looking for more of a dating kind of thing less of just like the the hooking up and for dating i would not want to date somebody under 21 like i think 21 is like right perfect for someone i not want to date somebody under 21. Like, I think 21 is, like, right, perfect for someone I'd want to date.
Starting point is 00:17:27 You're 26? 26, yeah. And here's my logic. If I date a 26-year-old, I'm on the clock, because when she hits 28 or 29, baby thoughts come in, and she's going to want to have a kid. That's natural. Not her fault.
Starting point is 00:17:41 Can't hold that against her. And I don't know if I'm going to be ready for that. But 21, you know, five years from now, she'll be my age currently. not her fault can't hold that against her and i don't know if i'm gonna be ready for that but 21 you know five years from now she'll be my age currently i'll be 31 and i'll have way more time to kind of get that under control and feel prepared for when i do want to have kids eventually so yeah that you're still in line to get yourself another 21 year old there you go yeah different thought process i i think a car yeah i i think that sometimes the 99 model did you say that out loud i said exactly like a car yes yes yes okay i don't understand this
Starting point is 00:18:17 the dick pills, Rhino. Okay. So I just, I just, by contrast, here's where my brain, my mind was when I was a Taylor's age, I didn't want to work forever. That was a big thing. Retiring early had been a goal of mine since I was young. You know, when I was 19, I thought I was going to retire at 40 and I was not too far off, but off. And I was like, man, let's do some math here. Let's say that I have to keep working at least through when my youngest kid finishes college, right? That's 22 years from the time your youngest kid is born. And it takes like, let's pretend gestation is a year.
Starting point is 00:19:01 That's like 23 years you know so you're 26 let's pretend you get married uh you know and and have two kids and they're two years apart well shit so that's 23 years plus two years apart makes it 25 years plus maybe wait four years to get married 29 years from marriage date you get to retire Like I wanted to get that process rolling. And what are you making me feel like I'm real behind now? It's just that it's not that you're behind your schedule is yours, but I am saying, what did that add up to? 29 years? Yeah. 29 years from the date you get married. You haven't even met her yet, right? Let's say you meet a girl that's awesome now and it takes two more years.
Starting point is 00:19:43 That's 31. That makes you at the earliest, if you really save and do well and you can retire the second your youngest graduates from college that makes you 57 at the earliest and i'm like fuck that's like 17 years later than i want it to be 17 years is a really long time so that was where my i was always like reversing like backing into the math. And that's just two kids. That does make sense, too. You don't want any children. You just don't. No children. At some point, I am going to want a kid, I think.
Starting point is 00:20:11 No, you're not. No, you're not. The Church of Kyle is very persuasive. Let's listen. Do you know how much a child costs? For the cost of a child, and let's forget about compounding interest. Child costs about a quarter of a million dollars. A quarter of a million, easy.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Easy. I don't buy that number at all. There are so, how are so many fucking poor people taking care of kids then? Six of them. There are not dozens of them. They're not taking care of them.
Starting point is 00:20:39 The government is chipping in and they're not taking very good care of them. If you're going to have a kid, your kid's going to go to extracurriculars. They're going chipping in, and they're not taking very good care of them. If you're going to have a kid, your kid's going to go to extracurriculars. They're going to have equipment, and they're going to have a car or two cars. Heaven forbid your kid's a goalie. You're fucked. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:20:56 $300,000 now. My kids are not playing goalie. I don't know how my parents let me do it. If I were my dad, like, walking in, like, oh, yeah, let me buy some goalie pads. No, Taylor. No, you should be thankful I'm not putting you back in fucking soccer where I can buy you some $12 shin pads.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Here's a tennis racket, you asshole. Yeah. These balls are expensive. Don't lose them. Yeah, be a basketball player. Yeah, basketball. Very cheap. Get $12 and get the fuck outside if i had georgians i
Starting point is 00:21:26 could dunk like i i don't know i it's expensive to have a kid but it's also like it seems like people who have children are happier they have more structure like they it's part of being a human being i think that like you are happier when you have a kid and like you're working hard to provide for that kid and to see the future and to have an impact on a dog that the dog that's not even close to the same do you know how many fucking adopt a chinese baby that way if you get tired of it wait wait you might have a thing you could fast forward the whole schedule by adopting like a good nine-year-old right there must be one that slipped through the cracks you could retire in your 40s if you just got 10-year-old
Starting point is 00:22:06 kids. You know what? If I go to China, I bet I could go to the elite adoption school where I get to pick out the cream of the crop. They look compete for me. They'll be rattling those abacuses. They'll be doing your taxes in three years. And little Yong Li, he is going to
Starting point is 00:22:21 take care of me when I get old. Guaranteed. You need to rename him. Oh, thank you so much. You bring me to America. It's like I really should have talked to you in English more often, young Lee. Oh, it's all right. Oh, you are my favorite father. Send me to math camp.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Math camp. send me to math camp you know H&R Block has a school my dad sent me to it oh my god I have no interest in one of those little fucking cretins that looks like me absolutely no way do I want a child first of all dog dogs love you dogs will never disappoint you
Starting point is 00:23:07 that dogs fucking love you so much more than a child could they just can't a child just can't love you closer to your sister because you'd make a good uncle right you'd be the coolest uncle right you know get that kid i don't even want to name... Yeah, drunk. Let's say that. Yeah, yeah. You know, just get that kid up to some mischief. Oh, yeah. You never broke a mailbox?
Starting point is 00:23:34 Not even one? Oh, I got a convertible. And a baseball bat. Every child you see tracked from your future, Taylor, is another floor of your house or another car in the garage. Yeah, I can sit lonely by myself
Starting point is 00:23:53 in my big house and just be like, oh man, every day this stuff, these electronics are a little less cool. Every day I start thinking about running that garden hose from my exhaust right into the window and just leaving the garage closed like women taylor women and friends these are your companions you're right you're right father i'll try and stay the court you can i was gonna bring it up like looking at tinder profiles of these girls you can see the like, the visible psychological damage
Starting point is 00:24:27 that has happened to so many young girls who have been told their whole life, you don't want kids, you want to be just like a man. Are men better than you? Haha, no way. Girl power. You don't need kids. Have a fucking career. You don't need to like foster and like use your maternal instinct and everything. And so on every one of these girls pictures you'll see you know mother to two fur babies and it's like it's like an actual like visual thing of like oh wow this is what happens when you convince women to just ignore biology like like and wanting a child makes them you know somehow not able to compete in the in the business field like it it's weird like the the adoption of fur babies especially from white girls i've noticed is odd like it's just a complete surrogate for a child yeah yeah absolutely um i i don't i
Starting point is 00:25:12 don't want any children though i i definitely don't it's it's just it's just so much of a fucking hassle and it's a huge responsibility i i don't want that responsibility i i i i i would want to be a very good father and i would want to do a very good job at that because i feel like the implications are are just so so long lasting if you fuck the kid's life if you say the wrong thing or if you teach them the wrong thing you know they it gets in the kid's head like like you might make some offhand remark and that now that's this kid's like thesis on life he's like oh well dad said that that's how it is if you're not first you're last yeah right suddenly that's his whole life something like that should totally happen you turn you can make a little ricky bobby
Starting point is 00:25:59 and he's just a successful nascar driver no No, that's a bad example. Yeah. Yeah, but no. I would rather have some fur babies or, you know, find some... Wow, Kyle's just one of these girls we're talking about, right? Yeah, a little bit.
Starting point is 00:26:19 Do you feel the need to... Well, I don't know, though, because it's different with men and women. Like, women have an actual biological clock that's ticking much faster. the need to well i don't know though because it's different with men and women like uh like women have an actual biological clock that's ticking much faster yeah and so like you hit 30 as a woman like you like they're like i gotta fucking get going like if i'm gonna have a kid and all this whereas with a guy i don't think well i not not i don't think i know it's like you can become a father at 55 if you want like that wouldn't be age. I feel bad for my friends who had those old dads.
Starting point is 00:26:47 When I was 16, so that's like what, 10th grade? We were in 10th grade, and one of my friends, who was also 15 or 16, his dad was 72 years old. Wow. His dad now is in his early 80s. He's alive? I did not expect him to be alive. Yeah, he's in his early 80s. He's alive? I did not expect him to be alive. Yeah, he's in his early 80s. Like, to his credit,
Starting point is 00:27:08 like, this... He was born so... His stepbrother was, like, 47 or something like that. It was, like, a weird thing. It was like, God, like, so your brother is old enough to be your dad. He's like, I know, man.
Starting point is 00:27:24 It's fucking weird. And it's like, could your dad ever do stuff with you? No. When I was born, my dad was 57, or whatever he said. It was, I don't know. I definitely would never want to be that guy, because then it seems like you're basically, it's a single mother raising a kid.
Starting point is 00:27:39 You can't take him out to the park. You can't do anything. I didn't even process that. So was the mom his second wife? Yeah, it was his second wife and she uh i guess she had him when she was like 40 and he was like 57 like he was a definite mistake and his parents did not beat around the bush telling him he was a mistake uh i had a high school friend just like that like it and it wasn't like his father once said like yeah you were an oops baby but we still love you like his whole childhood was like you were a mistake you're like you're
Starting point is 00:28:12 lucky we didn't abort you like like you know i made that you're the reason we don't have a boat but then that was the vibe this kid every day of his life grew up knowing that his parents didn't want him right you can be like oh we always wanted kids uh really the surprise of it was the timing of it you know like that's a thing that i think a lot of people might know i don't know or whatever um but this guy was like no we did not want any more kids and we got you and it kind of fucked him up at least in high school i don't know how he is oh no he's still fucked up you'll grow out of that kind of trauma i like i was definitely i was definitely on purpose uh i was my dad's uh third marriage my mom was my dad's third marriage so he'd already had a
Starting point is 00:28:56 couple of tries at this thing right he'd already gotten over the the rough parts and and and the hurdles and learned from some mistakes that are my half brother and sister you know like like he figured it out by the time he got to me and and so i was glad that my dad was a little bit older he had me when he was like 30 something 33 or so whatever something like that 34 maybe okay i don't know i can't do all this math right now but uh but but uh but but i, but I was glad because those other kids, they suck. You've got to get closer with your sister. I know you didn't get along as little kids, but you'd be a great uncle. You've got uncle written all over you.
Starting point is 00:29:36 I have nieces and nephews from my half-sister, and I haven't seen them in like five years or something like that. Those nieces and nephews are missing out from lots of shenanigans i don't i don't need all that i don't just nah no thanks i i never i don't really enjoy that you gotta be a cool kid for me to be interested and then you know like maybe if they're like 15 or something actually they are like that yeah i guess they are huh it's been it's been a while it's been a while um i'm just not interested in that i i'm at all i i really like dogs like like i i i would like a dog or some sort of exotic pet but i don't want a child or a niece or a nephew or any little person that hasn't figured hasn't fully matured yet i don't even like normal people right like why would i want a a half-assed junior person that that's annoying and stuff right
Starting point is 00:30:25 nah that's no good okay yeah okay i i'm not convinced i still think i will want children one day but oh speaking of children and how to raise them you know what i'm gonna do if my kid ever gets bullied i'm gonna film them crying in a car and then i'm gonna upload it to the internet yeah that's a good call that seems I'm going to upload it to the internet. Yeah, that's a good call. That seems like the way to raise kids, right? What do you have some experience in this? That's probably the best course of action if your kid's bullied.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Dude, think of all the shit your kids will get. They'll go to premieres and UFC events and more. That's a good point. Just think, two years from now, that video is going to be just as cool. It's not going to be a total onslaught of bullying six months from now when everybody has forgot and LeBron James
Starting point is 00:31:12 and the fucking New York Giants offensive line isn't interested in coming to your school and standing by the lunch table anymore. No. I will admit, uploading it was a big risk. We're talking about that kid, Keaton, by the way. She tried to shoot the moon. Are you guys familiar with hearts? I'm going to try to describe it.
Starting point is 00:31:27 There's a card game and the object is not to get any hearts. And I think every time you get a heart, you get a point. And like golf, you want a low score. But if you get all the hearts, then that's the best thing possible. So you want as few as possible or all of them. And if you get all of them,
Starting point is 00:31:44 it's called shooting the moon. Very dangerous strategy. Because if it goes a little wrong, you're screwed. Anyway, taking a video of your child crying at, what is he, 12 maybe? And uploading it to the internet. Very risky strategy. But I think
Starting point is 00:32:00 it paid off for her. And I'm encouraged by how many people, like Daniel Cormier saying, I think I pronounced it. It's close. And I'm encouraged by how many people, like Daniel Cormier, I think I pronounced it, eh, it's close. Anyway, Daniel Cormier coming out saying, I got bullied when I was a kid, and I don't think it's cool. You know, I'm on your side.
Starting point is 00:32:13 And then like your friend Kenny Florian, all these really tough guys saying, hey, I got bullied too. I think it's cool. I was on this Reddit thread, and it was great. They're like, you know, Dana White, you know, like, hey, we got this kid. He's getting bullied.
Starting point is 00:32:27 Nganou. We're sending Nganou. And Nganou's like, all right, say no more. You know, just like, I really would love it if a couple professional fighters were just to beat the fuck out of these bullies. That would be outstanding. I completely, oh, okay. If you think that won't fix it it we'll have to cripple them
Starting point is 00:32:46 that'll fix it that'll fix it there's nothing that's gonna look you don't think crippling the tormentors will send the sign we need
Starting point is 00:32:53 and this is the thing like all of these all these idiots out there talking about bullying it's like they live in a fantasy land where
Starting point is 00:33:01 bullying is the way it is in high school dramas where it's like oh there's the unassailable good character who gets teased and poked and those are the evil grimacy evil students who do nothing but bully it's like no in real life it's way more amorphous sometimes the kid that was bullying there is the bully and other times that's not the way it is and like some kids will bully other groups but they aren't don't bully a group over here, that's not the way it is. And some kids will bully other groups, but they don't bully a group over here. It's way more
Starting point is 00:33:28 of a social pecking order than it is one big bad wolf character going around like, you like that, bitch? Like just drowning kids in the toilet. You're totally wrong on this. This kid... Everybody saw how bullying happened in high school.
Starting point is 00:33:43 It's not just like one guy. Don't you see that he's probably – like he's quite likely to be telling the truth. He's like these kids make fun of my nose, and I'm like – What's wrong with his nose? He had a tumor removed. Is that what it was? Yeah. See, and then like let me –
Starting point is 00:33:59 Put it aside real quick. Someone poured milk on him? I believe that. So like I'm totally on the side that it's totally believable that he was bullied. Like, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that this is probably the worst way to handle it ever. Like, putting a video of your child crying on the internet, you know, saying a bunch of platitudes. Like, if she were a good mother, like, I was tweeting about it last it last night and someone was like well it was the kid's idea apparently and it's like you know what you
Starting point is 00:34:27 do as a parent if the kid first of all who knows second of all you know if that kid comes to you and goes i want to make an internet video of myself weeping about being bullied and i'm going to put it up on the internet a good parent would be like hey you know this really sucks and i understand like this is a really rough time for you but this is not how it's going to handle. What's going to happen if we do this is that best-case scenario, a couple of UFC fighters will take you on a trip for a weekend, and then for the rest of your life, up until the end of high school and probably into college, everyone will know you as the crying kid
Starting point is 00:34:57 who complained about being bullied. That's all anyone will ever think about. So let's not do this. It's a bad idea. But the mother had to upload. That show fucking is laughing. It's a bad idea. But the mother had to upload. Like that show fucking laughing stop. It's a bad idea because it only works out one time in a million. To me, it worked out this time. One more thing.
Starting point is 00:35:12 Kenny Florian said, hey, if you're in LA or Boston, you can train at my gym on me forever. You have free admission to my gyms. Now, LA or Boston, he probably doesn't live there, right? What are the odds? But I would love it if a local gym did say that. Like, you know what? I teach people to fight. It's not going to change anything this week. It's not going to change anything this year. But
Starting point is 00:35:31 you do this for three years and you'll be the kind of person that can't get bullied. You know? Let's go. That's the right move is to help the kid with self-improvement. Like, you're tired of getting your ass beat? Get involved in a sport. Learn to fight. Like, something like that. Part of beat? Get involved in a sport. Learn to fight. Like, something like that.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Part of the reason I think this kid needs some plastic surgery. We just go dance around this. Maybe I didn't see it right. I thought his nose looked okay. Plastic surgery a kid like that. He was a little bulbous at the end, right? That's exactly the kid you plastic surgery. I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:35:59 I would love to get some plastic surgery if I'm that kid. I'd be like, you know, fuck the Avengers. I haven't watched since Iron Man 1. Could you fix this? All right, so I need to see the nose again. I'm not sure how bad it is, but I will say this. I think that oftentimes they wait for someone to reach their full size before they do plastic surgery.
Starting point is 00:36:19 Yep, that was just about to say. Oh, another mistake. I see them do that with girls' breasts. Get them early. Get them early. Get them early. Another thing that was ridiculous with that whole story of Keaton. Maybe they'll get hit on by a district attorney. Did you know all those screenshots of the Instagram stuff from the apparent mother
Starting point is 00:36:39 and the GoFundMe scam or whatever? That was all contrived. The family didn't start the GoFundMe. Someone i heard that and took advantage of it and uh and twitter like bullied the shit out of this kid yesterday uh uh if you went uh if you clicked on keaton the trending topic black twitter you know what black twitter is yeah it was just saying baselessly that this kid oh he got bullied because he was calling all the other kids in his class the n-word this is just a family of racists i hope he does get bullied and it was like jesus christ like people are so addicted to trying to find racism
Starting point is 00:37:14 and bigotry and things that they found in this little fucking kid dude you don't bully a kid for what their parent does that's fucked people might be addicted to finding that you're racist or whatever but i think it's something similar i think people are addicted to this notion that they have the inside scoop right if i if i say like ah this might seem like a good guy but the truth is this about him people jump to that as like the new truth and i called that coney 2012 shit as it was happening and i remember people shitting on me at the time oh you can't just enjoy a good thing taylor you can't and then what happens three days later vindicated he's masturbating in there and everybody's like hey you know what now that we
Starting point is 00:37:58 caught him masturbating we looked through their data and they they're like just making a lot of shirts like i did the opposite Everybody figured out it was a scam and I stuck with them. I stuck with Cody do that. I was like, yeah, no. I guess invisible children is something that had existed for some long time and they were only like tangentially related to it.
Starting point is 00:38:20 And I made a video saying like, look, people believe anything negative anything that comes off as an inside scoop you know sony was really you know in cahoots with the fbi really they are you know no you'll believe anything so long as it sounds like i've got the inside scoop tony 2012 is on the up and up what uh what tips me off to the coney thing was i was watching the video at the time and like my middle school and like high school were involved in that charity. And so I'd seen that video before in like 2003 or 2004. And as I was watching it in like 2012 there, I'm like, this looks like real familiar.
Starting point is 00:38:56 Like, and then I was looking at it more and I'm like, these are, these are the same clips. These are the same clips they showed us 10 years ago. And I was like, this can't possibly. And it's like, yeah, they just bamboozled everyone. But anyway, back to the bullied kid. Kyle, you're right. His nose is the source of his bullying. It's not the only source, though. I mean, if we're being honest here,
Starting point is 00:39:17 what he needs is that I heard that they raised $60,000. That's about how much plastic surgery he needs to be a regular looking fellow. They didn't raise that money. Some scam artist started a GoFundMe and propagated it. Well, that's the American way. Jesus Christ. That's the American way right there. He saw an opportunity.
Starting point is 00:39:41 He got in there early, and now he's out. And he's got himself a new corvette well not a new people you know like a three-year-old corvette now like like that guy's riding high see that guy's not getting bullied the guy with the sixty thousand dollars that he scammed off this unfortunate looking 13 year old look this kid's gonna get picked on forever like i went to school with kids that look like this. It's unfortunate. I'm not going to mock him and point out each individual feature, but it's all real bad.
Starting point is 00:40:11 You should only bully people for things they control. It stops when you're an adult. As soon as this kid enters the workforce, they're not going to care what he looks like. Not to his face. Exactly. Behind his back, they're all all gonna be laughing it up and
Starting point is 00:40:27 calling him dog face freddy or whatever well maybe it's because i worked this kid should go into it where everyone's a little dog remember when all those indian guys were going back and forth in punjabi like you didn't know what they were saying they were mocking somebody you Look at what he thinks he's so smart. My impression, honestly, is as an adult, all those little things. You can be chubby. You can be short. Those things all fade away. Not on the dating market. That still matters, although less.
Starting point is 00:40:59 But really, people don't make fun of you because your nose is asymmetrical at the office. They don't care at all. It will get better just because people get more mature. And honestly, you have more shit to do as an adult. So you don't have time to just sit at the lunch table and mock people. But the way to handle it, like you said, is self-improvement and building confidence.
Starting point is 00:41:19 This kid is walking around shoulders slumped and terrified at school because he doesn't want to get mocked. And that just invites mockery. If you walk around like that, you don't want that. Come on, man. The worst possible thing is uploading a video of him crying to the internet because this is going to be a source of horror for him through all of high school and hopefully not in college. But through all of high school, this is the kid he is now. He's not the kid that, wow, he started working out and he's getting buff. No, he's the kid that cried on the internet and then a huge kerfuffle came up about his family with a flag and then a made-up GoFundMe and Twitter being horrid to him.
Starting point is 00:41:57 I disagree. His mother is an idiot and should know better. First of all, forgive the ad hominid attack. This is advice on how to be cool from an ex-bully who hit puberty at nine. Right? So, like... I was not a bully. Congratulations on winning the genetic lottery.
Starting point is 00:42:14 Take it from a guy who got leg hair at 17. One, it's not your permanent identity. That's my line of thinking on this. It's too bad there's no kids watching. All our viewers are adults. There's some kid who peed in his pants in fifth grade, but in high school, so much has happened since then.
Starting point is 00:42:34 That's not his identity anymore. Look at Wings. He's 31 years old, still getting mocked on the internet to this day. By you. By you. That's the perfect response. day by you by you that's the perfect response hey there's a lot of me out there there's some bad apples on the internet
Starting point is 00:42:52 there's more of him out there Kyle's acting like there's just meanness out there in the ether but it's like Kyle is the ringleader of this brigade you know he's blowing the horn at the helm. There's no orc, Carl. But yeah, no, this won't be his identity. It'll just be a thing he did a long time ago
Starting point is 00:43:13 in the same way that some kid who peed his pants or some kid, maybe you got beat up, right? Did you get beat up in seventh grade? By the time you're in 10th, you've got a whole new identity. Everyone is, and people that know him, like maybe like in Taylor's case, he's kind of,
Starting point is 00:43:25 not in Taylor's case, but in Taylor's example, where it's like, hey, he's forever the guy who did this. Maybe if he changes schools or something, but the people that he goes to school with and actually know him will know him as so much more than that.
Starting point is 00:43:37 And I'm not saying he'll follow him like to actually an adult. And hopefully it doesn't even follow him bad into high school. It's just like, if kids are already being mean enough to make fun of a kid who had a tumor removed resulting in a facial deformity, then this crying video and a tweet from LeBron James isn't going to change it.
Starting point is 00:43:55 They're pouring milk on him. You don't think the bullies are finding themselves in the minority now? Like, this school system is sitting up straight thinking, oh my god, we've got to handle this. This happens under my watch. Yeah, he's an outcast this. This happens under my watch. Yeah, he's an outcast now. Now he's just being completely ignored. That's what's going on now.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Send in Nganou. Do what you gotta do. If you don't know who Nganou is, he's this heavyweight prospect in the UFC. Yeah, that's all we need is Nganou to go in there and beat up a 14-year-old. Now he's out of the UFC. Do I knock your ideas?
Starting point is 00:44:24 Does he have to? So do they just have to have a revolving door and beat up a 14-year-old, and now he's out of the UFC. Do I knock your ideas? So do they just have to have a revolving door of athletes and UFC fighters on call to step in every time this kid, like something goes wrong? Like they're not sparring anyway, right? You know, it's a workout. It's a workout. Poor kid. I hope it goes well for him and everything,
Starting point is 00:44:44 because it does make me sad. Like, the video was really sad. It was tough. It was sad because you're looking at this kid who has no control over his face, and it's like, you can imagine how brutal children are. And then also sad because it's like, God, you've got the kind of mother
Starting point is 00:44:57 who sat there, recorded this, and then thought, this is a good idea. This is something to upload to everyone. You're right. To me, she got lucky as one in a million, but she's social media-tarded, right? She might be a good mother in a lot of ways, but my parents, I doubt they're very good at Facebook.
Starting point is 00:45:20 I bet if they ran a Snapchat, nobody would follow. His mom just isn't social media savvy. Well, I feel really bad for that kid, but I don't think the future has a very silver lining for him. This whole stunt is going to be mocked for
Starting point is 00:45:37 years and years to come. And I'm sure he's not being like, they're probably not pouring milk on him today, but I feel like he's just more of an outcast now. He's just – everybody's kind of looking at him weird, like staying away from him. There were weird-looking kids in high school that had good attitudes, and everybody was still friends with them. Like you got to be the full package to like get milk poured on someone is i not once in high school did i ever witness someone get milk poured on them like as far as like a bullying thing i
Starting point is 00:46:15 never saw that i i was a self-defense bully i i never physically bullied anyone, but I found out when I was like 14 that I was way quicker than the other kids as far as verbal abuse. And so if anyone ever came at me bullying me verbally, I would be I would turn it up to 12 immediately and say horrible, horrible things. And like loudly in like in front of people and humiliate them. And guess what? People don't fucking come after you if they think you're going to be publicly humiliated. My bully was a fat guy. He was much bigger than me. I called him the Kool-Aid man.
Starting point is 00:46:54 He became the Kool-Aid man, and he was the Kool-Aid man for like three fucking years. When he would come into class, everybody would go, ooh, yeah. Like, you know, the Kool-Aid picture comes in. Ooh, yeah. Like, he was the fucking Kool-aid man and this was a guy like twice my size he was enormous this fat fucker he was bit he's much taller and bigger but you know right and like i had stories to back up my my cruelty like like he was now he was like picking on me so like you said i turned it up to. I mentioned that when I went to his birthday party, his mom made two
Starting point is 00:47:26 cakes. One for the party and one for herself. And it was true. It was true. She baked herself a goddamn sheet cake and then throughout the night while we slept on sleeping bags in the living room, she kept making trips into the kitchen until half of a sheet cake was gone.
Starting point is 00:47:42 Like a whole pan of coconut cake. She ate it all. I've told my biggest bully story, but I left out details and I want to tell it again. So there was this guy, I mentioned him before, his name was Howard. Howard was bigger than me. He was probably 6'4", right?
Starting point is 00:47:57 He might have been 6'5", but he was a good bit bigger than I was. And I'm like six foot at this point, but very thin. I'd grown six inches recently or something. But he was goofy. He wasn't like a big – he was not an athlete in any way, and he was just a goofy, dorky guy. But he picked on me, and it wasn't brutal or anything,
Starting point is 00:48:17 just sort of like little displays of dominance. The one thing he'd do a lot is he'd walk up to me and karate chop and just go, chop of the morning and it's not horrible or anything but it's pretty funny yeah but i can't respond to it because i don't like want to fight or anything and here's the detail i left out one day uh he did whatever some low-grade bullying picking on me and uh I had a friend. His name was Ted. And Ted stood up for me. And Ted was like, you know,
Starting point is 00:48:51 full of profanities, cursing him out, backing him up physically, like, you motherfucking, you want to go? I'll go right now. And he just had all this, like, bravery. And Ted was black. And it just, like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:49:04 It was just like this gangster. He was probably armed. This gangster's about to throw down. But the thing about Ted is he was smaller than me and I'm like, damn, like this guy who was two inches shorter than me
Starting point is 00:49:15 and not any stronger or anything just showed him who's who. Like, while that was kind, now I'm thinking less of me. You know, like the only difference between Ted and me is Ted appears to be braver. I've got to step up in this regard. And like I told the story before, I was watching on TV, like, Olympic boxing, like, trials,
Starting point is 00:49:38 like, you know, Americans trying to get on the boxing team. And this guy did, like, a right cross and a duck at the same time like in a slip and uh and i was like that is perfect that's perfect not only did he hit him but he couldn't be hit you know because he slipped his punch and he hit the and i and you know obviously there's counters to that but at the time i had no idea so i started shadow boxing that move that was the one and uh one move yeah oh Oh, Woody one move. Yeah. I was not a complete fighter by any means.
Starting point is 00:50:10 But after gym class, just the nature of it, like you clean up and then everyone would queue up waiting for the bell to buzz. And then you could go to your other class. You couldn't just walk through the hallways. It took time. So somehow we're near each other and like, it's brewing, you know, like he wants to push me or something or this and that. And this is the time that I wasn't taking it anymore. And, uh, it started with some sort of like push or whatever. And, uh, sure enough, I did my move and I cracked him. It was perfect.
Starting point is 00:50:43 It couldn't have been more accurate. Him in the nose. And one, it made him like less enthusiastic about fighting. Two, it bled and he wore a white t-shirt that day and he just had blood coming all over. So all day long, everyone's like, what happened to you? Woody did that to him. Everyone knows Woody busted up his nose and that's why his shirt was bloody and it was just like a sign and and that was that was the probably my best bully story and probably the biggest the most persistent long-lasting bully I had he carved and did the bullying drop off you know I yeah it dropped off but he had a friend who picked up Michael Bowmister or something, the asshole. So I want to say, yeah, Howard never messed with me again.
Starting point is 00:51:31 Instead, he got his much bigger friend to take over his duties. And I think their little gang carved fag on my locker, and it really hurt my feelings. But what are you going to do? And it really hurt my feelings. But what are you going to do? Yeah, I never had to swing at anyone for bullying. The kid who was mean to me in middle school, he was one of the few children in the tri-state area who was larger than me at the time.
Starting point is 00:52:00 So that was unfortunate. What are the odds? Yeah, but he never physical either just like he'd like try and like eat food off my plate at lunch or something because we had like similar friends and I would always you know slap his hand or something like the fuck
Starting point is 00:52:18 and I don't remember exactly what it is this will probably come to me in the next few hours but like he was like being a dick to me. And so like loudly at lunch one day, I started like ripping into him, like being really mean. And he had an odd shaped head and coming from me. That's something like he like he had like like one of the like almost like an eight. Like it came in in the middle too much.
Starting point is 00:52:38 And I don't remember the exact word. I was like, did your mom sneeze when she was squeezing you out of your cunt? Is that why your head's like looks like that like or something something incredibly fucking mean to the point that like like everybody else like around you heard it was like like just hearing cunt at that age it was like god we're like taylor we're fucking 14 you need to chill out like slow your roll and then like it became a reputation like after a while after a couple more incidents of that, of, like, oh, yeah, don't fuck with Taylor. He'll make you – he'll humiliate you in front of everyone. And it really worked.
Starting point is 00:53:12 It did. That kid, his name was Aaron, he became, like, a little – well, I haven't checked up on it recently. So who knows what the future lied ahead for him. recently you know so who knows the future lied ahead for him but uh that kid he he went from like cocky douche to like way more meek and like not like never like make an eye contact or anything like and it was perfect it was great he got what he deserved it made me more popular so you know there you go kyle you're maybe all my bullying wasn't defensive but with this kid it was for fucking sure that god i hated that guy he was such a dick i hope i hope life's going poorly for him most kids have bad hair days you're having a big head day that poor guy no not guy
Starting point is 00:54:02 that was horrible that was that funny he was He was on this great trajectory in life. Like, he was heading up high and tall, and then from then on, I bet, it's just been a downward slope. That guy lives in a trailer. He's an alcoholic. I might be a jerk, but I'm okay with severe consequences. Yeah, like, I could defend myself at least. There was this other kid in our grade that got bullied fucking relentlessly uh he was on the football team and uh someone on the football
Starting point is 00:54:32 team before a two-a-day practice pissed into his helmet and then he wore it like and of course there's still residual piss and shit in there because nobody told him and can you imagine that level of bullying first of all i wasn't on the football team this was in high school uh but like to know that other everybody else on the team knew that you were being picked on and nobody had the the like uh no one cared enough about him like hey dude don't do that but uh this kid broke my fucking heart and i felt so bad for him i had him over a couple times because like it it just made me sad seeing him walk around like that like he was always getting picked on. And I was always super, super over-the-top nice to this kid,
Starting point is 00:55:10 partially because it made me feel really bad because I saw in him what I could have been if I didn't have confidence or the ability to defend myself. And chest hair. Go on. Chest hair and big arms. And then he was the only kid in the grade hairier than me at that time.
Starting point is 00:55:28 Mongo! He made fun of me for shaving in middle school, because it's not normal to have to shave a lot in middle school. He got made fun of that. And so when I started shaving in 8th grade, that's the reason that I shaved meticulously every single day, because I didn't want to get made fun of for having facial hair either.
Starting point is 00:55:43 And then in 9th grade, suddenly it was like, oh wow, now it's cool to have facial hair and i'm like all right i'm gay like i'll just you know stop but uh but i also the second reason i was so nice to the kid is because if there was a kid like and this isn't like mean or anything but if there was a kid that was going to come to school with a gun it would it would have been him and i would have been the kid that he like saw and didn't fuck with yeah because be like taylor's always been kind to me like come to school tomorrow taylor dude sick day were there kids like that at your school where you like were overwhelmingly nice to them because you thought like this kid might go postal yeah yeah there were some kids that wore like those
Starting point is 00:56:22 enormous black jeans that were like fucking big around the feet. And they always wore corn shirts and stuff, and their hair was long, and they had a couple piercings in their face. And they would get picked on pretty hard, and they were real outcasts. And yeah, I didn't fuck with those kids at all. I gave them a wide berth, know you didn't know what could happen they they seemed like columbine had i want to say columbine was like 299 2000 so like i started high school in 2000 and so it was very much on our minds that you know that could go down if you push someone a little bit too far uh and uh and so you know you didn't mess with the kids who
Starting point is 00:57:06 looked like the columbine shooters to begin with right that's what they look like so i'm in college i get thrown out of the dorms and i have to find i find like a someone renting out a bedroom well there's another bedroom being rented out to this really freaky guy he didn't do well in crowds he kind of shriveled up. His build was, there was something genetically wrong with him. You know, like he was too thin. His face was an awkward shape and look that you don't see every day. He was a freaky guy. And sometimes at the student center, he'd just like freak out from like the severe paralyzing anxiety because he was surrounded by people. And I felt bad for him so I was like you
Starting point is 00:57:46 know what I'm gonna be his friend I'm gonna perk him up and for whatever reason my great idea was that we were gonna play frisbee together because the place we were staying in had a non-busy road in front of it and I grabbed a frisbee and I'm like yeah we're gonna come out we're gonna I'm gonna show you how you'll enjoy some sunlight I throw the frisbee to him and he sucks at frisbee I throw the Frisbee to him, and he sucks at Frisbee so bad. He's off by like 90 degrees or more. I'm like, if he had dropped it at his feet, that Frisbee would have been closer than him trying to throw it to me.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Wow. It wasn't long before I was like, this kid is so bad at Frisbee, we can't be friends. You know? I give up on this whole scenario. And I was still nice to him. He tried to kill himself all the time. So I'd go in and check up on him and be like, hey, bro, why is this broken window here? And he'd be like, yeah, I threw the glass.
Starting point is 00:58:32 And he was having a bad day. I told this story before. There was one time, I forget. He got my attention somehow from his room. So I went in to check on him. And he had taken all the pills in his bottle. And we called 911. And then he calls his room. So I went in to check on him and he had taken all the pills in his bottle. And we called 911 and then he calls his mom and he's like, mom, it's over.
Starting point is 00:58:51 I took all the pills, et cetera. And I'm looking at the EMT and he's like, that doesn't kill you. That was allergy medication. You're just going to be sneeze free. You're going to have really clear skin, but otherwise you're okay. Not a sniffle.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Not a cough. Yeah, yeah. Run through the dandelion. Your headache is so gone, but you're not going to die. But yeah, he had real suicidal thoughts. I want to say he had the worst attempted suicides ever. One time I came in to check on him because i heard banging and he had a uh like a plastic first aid kit if you can picture that
Starting point is 00:59:30 and he was slamming it on the bathroom like mirror console type thing and uh vanity anyway he told me later that he hoped it would break and that he'd get hit in the jugular by one of the shards of glass mirror. Yeah, right? He's the worst. He's really conscripting God's help in this suicide. Probably alive to this day, right? He has no suicide talents whatsoever. Just jars and jars of empty gummy vitamins strewn about. He looks like... That's great but uh but yeah so i would you know i keep up with him from like a
Starting point is 01:00:11 a good neighbor perspective but the idea of me like personally making him a friend and helping him be more like social uh it was a big burden i didn't take it on yeah yeah you don't want that you don't want him dragging you down. Want to call it a show? Yeah, yeah. I thought this was a good PKN. Yeah, it was fun. Pangular Nearly, 173.

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