Transcript
Discussion (0)
all right painkiller nearly episode here from florida with kyle and taylor
so kyle you had lead off topics yeah man i guess we should talk about my excellent judge of
character i think it was last week i was like you know only use me blade as good people and maybe a
week before i was like hey i i know there's a lot of negativity out there about Logan Paul but I've met that guy and with me
straight shooter, cool guy, very kind
very considerate and so
in the last two days Only Use Me Blade has
been caught making out and
groping a married woman by her husband
and Logan Paul has
went into the Japanese suicide forest and posed next to a
dangling dead body while wearing a pikachu hat i think no no it wasn't a pikachu hat do you know
uh uh in toy story those things that are in the the claw machine where they're like davis with
their like three little eyes and things he's wearing that standing next i, like, the middle part because I tried to watch the entire video.
It was, like, 14 minutes of just really boring.
Just, I don't fucking care about that guy.
Yeah, that's what we want to get accurate here.
That's the important thing.
It was the claw machine animal hat.
That makes it all better.
And while we're on the subject, I just want to throw it out there.
Woody is a wonderful man and a great father.
And Taylor is a piece of shit, right?
I don't know too much about that Taylor guy.
Seems seedy.
You'll find out that I work and make sandwiches for homeless people and just never brought it up.
Because it's against the fact that I'm a Jehovah's Witness's witness we won't find that out i'm sure no you will not
but like this dude like it was honestly i thought it was staged for a second
because i'm like there's no way they walked into this suicide forest and like because at the end
of the day it is a suicide forest so like a hundred or so people in the past
years have killed themselves there it's not like there's like like a bunch of cars left in the
parking lot running you know and a ton of people just like queuing up to hang themselves so it's
like it is reasonable to be like oh i could walk in there and not not see a body but to see one
that soon i was like oh this might be this might be not real but then he like zoomed in on the guy's
dead hands he's like yeah they're blue he's been dead for a while and it's like all right
professor it was pretty fucked up I haven't seen the video at all I just saw
the thumbnail of him wearing that hat with a dead body hanging behind him. And of course there is the outrage
that has just swept the internet. No one is happy about
this. Everyone is really shitting on Logan about this.
I fear that our film may be delayed further.
I like watching Twitter get
angry about stuff like this.
And so often, on really
sweeping issues like this, I just get a kick out
of being like, man, what's the opposing
side that doesn't make as much sense?
And I can make a hot take about that, but I was
trying to think of one, and I was like,
God, there's just really no excuse in going
into a suicide forest, seeing a dead body,
and being like, man, what a crazy
outing. We didn't expect to see a real dead body
like or whatever the fuck he was doing like there's nobody nobody on the entire internet
is taking his side and it's pretty much logan paul's side it seemed like that guy just needed
some attention in the first place right well now he has it maybe if logan was a little faster acting
he wouldn't be dead
but he finally got the attention he was seeking now that video would have been amazing what if
logan gets there and the guy's still dangling a little and logan cuts him down and saves his life
and like resuscitates him he's like you know slap wake's the only... We cannot do nothing right!
Oh.
But, and of course,
like, that's about as scummy
as it gets. That's, like, next-level
scummy, but
Only Use Me Blade was
just shit-faced
on stream New Year's Eve,
and he's with this
young lady, and she's wearing, like, one of those New Year's Eve. And he's with this young lady,
and she's wearing one of those New Year's Eve top hats.
And it's clear they are both partying hard.
And I guess he's getting a little grabby
and making out with her.
And then her husband walks in.
And it is awkward.
And after she leaves...
But she's a happy, willing participant in this thing, right?
Yeah, I would say she's about 70% on board.
In the clip, or from the small bit of the clip I watched,
they were both clearly wasted,
but it was neither one of them groping the other.
It was just two drunk people making out
and doing some sloppy feeling up, you know?
Yeah, and...
It's not like she was like,
Help, husband!
Like, no. On the bright
side, it looked like Blade had lost
some weight. For him.
Oh, really? Yeah.
I mean, he's lost enough weight. He can pull
some married pussy these days, it seems.
I mean, he stepped it up. What did the husband look like
when he came in? Because I didn't want to watch that long
because I knew it would make me uncomfortable.
The real question is, how many subs does he have?
I don't know that answer either. watch that long because I knew it would make me uncomfortable. The real question is how many subs does he have? I don't know that answer either.
Not that many, I guarantee it.
I bet he hasn't stabbed tens of
thousands of people in Call of Duty either.
Blade wins that one too.
Fair enough.
Absolutely. And then, of course, Blade continued
to...
You've had a few drinks
and you stop drinking, but you continue to get
drunker nonetheless it's like your liver has given up he was on he was on that ride because
by the very end of the stream when she had been taken away upstairs probably for a good talking to
uh he's he's getting he's like ah ah nigga like he didn't say that oh yeah oh yeah someone there black that he was mad at no
no no he was just randomly that's better and and swaying on camera while saying the n-word a lot
and uh and then he was like this all right i'm fucking done now. I'm fucking done. And then it took him like another
minute or two to actually turn the stream
off because, you know, he is shit-faced.
It was...
I'm sure it was on livestream
fails. I stand by my
opinions on both these guys because here's
the thing.
Despite the evidence!
Despite the overwhelming evidence
to the contrary.
Blade just got a little drunk and
made a mistake there.
The Jake Paul thing, it's like, man,
I really had to mull over uploading this
video as I was looking at clips and trying
to zoom in correctly on the dead guy's hands
as I was doing it stone sober. It's like, no,
Blade's a cool guy.
This Jake or Logan Paul, I keep
forgetting what his name is.
He seems
pretty trashy.
Here's the thing, though.
When someone's a public figure like this
or whatever you want to call them,
there's that version of them
and the things they do. And then if you actually
get to meet these people, there's
the version that you take from that.
And in my dealings with both of you take from that. And in my
dealings with both of them, great people, you know? And Chiz just wrote something in the chat
that really goes along with this. I'm sure he was just being facetious, but he was like,
some people still believe OJ's a nice guy. Look, I bet OJ is a great guy to be friends with. I bet
if you went and shot a round of golf with OJ and had a couple
of Tom Collins out there on the back nine, he'd be telling you stories about winning the Heisman.
He'd be talking about doing the movies with Leslie Nielsen, those naked gun movies. He'd
be talking about all kinds of fun stuff. Hopefully not sawing Ron Goldman's head off.
Hopefully not that. I want that story.
I mean, I want it. Everybody wants that story,
but you're not going to get it.
If you had sawed his head off.
You don't.
This is how we do it.
You don't push OJ
because he might cut your head off after
stabbing you or something. He does that.
And you know what?
I think that's much worse than filming
some dead guy. He was already dead, in all
fairness. Who among us is without
seeing me cast the first stone
or something like that? That's close enough.
I don't live in a glass house of filming
dead people, though. So I think we can all throw
a stone in that direction, right?
A little, hey, and that's why everybody
on the internet was so happy
to come together over it because it was like hey anybody else ever filmed suicide victims did you
know Taylor and I both threw virtual stones and Woody was like I'm not gonna cut off future video
ideas I know Logan Paul is gonna get bigger because of this I know that I know Logan Paul is going to get bigger because of this. I know that. I know all publicity is good publicity.
And that Logan Paul didn't...
He's not losing his Disney image over this thing.
He didn't have it.
He was a piece of shit getting into gang fights with other YouTubers or something.
That was his thing.
So this is just like, oh, this guy makes a living being a jackass on daily videos.
So he did it again.
Yeah.
And is anyone here, like, directly offended by this?
I mean, really?
I mean, it was a Japanese guy.
Am I right?
Yeah, right.
It wasn't even a person.
Just a Japanese guy.
They blurred his face out, so that's fair.
Right? Oh, they blurred his face out? Yeah. Why is there even a person. They blurred his face out, so that's fair.
Right?
Oh, they blurred his face out?
Why is there even a controversy here?
And it wasn't a Pikachu hat?
I mean, with these boxes checked,
he's cool.
Honestly, the only outrageous part of it,
like, all the people taking like, this is the worst, horrible,
disgusting thing. Children are watching
this angle. That's not as compelling to me. It's more just like, yeah, this is the worst horrible disgusting thing children are watching this angle that's not as compelling to me it's more just like yeah this is pretty trashy and he tried to play it
off as though like i'm just here spreading the news of the suicide forest this is this is hitting
real hard now guys this is hitting real and it's like it's like yeah okay asshole but like who among
us hasn't watched isis beheadings online Or watched, Kyle has showed me things deeper and darker on Motherless than I knew.
Existed.
Like, I knew German people were into some shit.
But, like, good lord.
Like, so the disgust angle isn't as crazy.
Yeah, literally, right, Chiz?
That's the German thing.
Is they love, is it scat?
You can't get enough of it?
But, yeah, I don't, is there any more backstory to the uh blade thing um i think
that's all i got i think that the home that they were at was the husband and wife's home like he
was visiting with them uh i would hope so because i mean to be fair that was a pretty rough looking
basement he was in there was like a bed in the corner and like exposed insulation in the back i i like to believe that that blade
lives in a much classier basement somewhere to be i know i come at the infidelity thing from this
like oh my god how tragic angle that most people don't but to be honest i am more offended by
blade's transgressions i knew you would be really i just yeah i one's a dead body
and while it's horrible and distasteful who's the victim the dead body i mean clearly no one
cared about this person right like like there's i doubt there's a family who's upset that's horrible
but right whereas the blade thing it sounds like he went to this married couple's house
and sort of knowingly fucked with their marriage.
Eh, you know.
He was drunk.
I mean, he was beyond incoherently drunk.
I can understand what he was saying,
because he was definitely saying niggas.
But he was really drunk and
and the language of georgia yeah i don't like that alabama okay my mistake yeah yeah over there
um i i'll cut him some slack because he was so drunk and she seemed like a somewhat willing
participant and maybe the husband was into it. We don't know. You know,
I'll not
cast any stones in this regard.
I like how Kyle and I
were both casting stones
about the suicide
thing and then Woody's like, I think this is worse.
And Kyle and I are like, now, now, Woody.
In my
Pharisee robe,
I think we should not cast judgment on people who are a bit promiscuous.
So, like, I don't know.
I guess it's just the fact that both of them, they were drunk and they were making a mistake, but it was a mistake they were making together.
It wasn't like an aggressive one-sided thing, you know, that would have made it terrible.
I always blame the married person, not the interloper.
I tend to feel like that too, but there's definitely blame on both sides.
The married person took the vows, okay?
The interloper is out there.
You know how tough it can be, all right?
No, he doesn't.
Yeah, sometimes he goes two, even three days between new women.
Taylor, if you were to meet a young lady on Tinder and she was like, hey, I'm married, just so you know.
Things are pretty rocky.
I haven't even seen him in two weeks.
You want to go out and get a few drinks?
See, I'm literally – it's going to sound like a made-up PBS special where they're like, let's learn about the digestive tract.
And that little redhead douche is like, oh, my stomach hurts.
And they're like, perfect.
Let's all get inside Allen in the Magic School bus and see how it works literally last night i matched with someone
almost that exact same description like uh she's a pretty older lady she's like in her mid-40s or
something and i was curious because all of her pictures were just her like not with her friends
or anything and i was like okay there's a little clue like this person probably doesn't want any kind of like tie backs to their life
you know like that makes a little sense i wouldn't do that see you gotta you gotta be thinking and
and what did she say i i told her i'm just looking for something casual what are you looking for and she said yes to be honest i'm not single and she put
dot dot dot unhappy and so i'm gonna try i wanted to try and bait her into getting her to like admit
that she's being shitty and then i could be like aha this is the kind of person you are the kind
of person like and but not actually like that like just to see how much she'll admit. So I was like, I know Chiz.
I'm not actually going to do that.
I'm joking.
What's her Snapchat?
Get out of here.
Slide her over my way.
And I said, oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
What kind of thing are you looking for?
Just to get her to elucidate it a bit.
And we'll see.
I just sent that a little bit ago.
Oh, this could unfold live?
Probably not.
It's like 620.
She's making dinner for the family
by now.
Honestly, if I found out
that she had children
and she was married, I don't
think I would do it. You get them involved too?
I mean, at her age, they could be my age.
Oh, boy, watch.
She could have...
Okay, alright.
She's my age, so her kids are like
18. Maybe.
Maybe.
Oh, no. How old are you, Woody?
Woody nailed it!
Maybe you get some mother-daughter action.
She's 46.
So they're probably like
20, 21 maybe. I'm assuming
she even has kids. I don't know.
I like that assumption.
Find out how old her kids are.
If her kids are 18.
All right, first of all, don't do this if you're actually interested in fucking this woman.
But second of all, if we're going for lols here, if you find out she's got a daughter who's of age, be like, you know, it'd be awesome if maybe the three of us went out for a drink maybe.
Or I guess we'd have to go get coffee for her.
Can I ask a classless question?
I have never had sex with someone who had children because we had C-sections.
How is it different?
Does anyone on this call know?
Yeah.
I mean, okay.
It's, you always hear like, oh, it's just gonna be blown out ridiculous like no
no not at all that's insane crazy talk it's not is it the same well they're all different
it's kind of hard to compare you know like but so there are definitely some that you that you would not guess that they have had
children before until you find out right i like that yeah that's that's a good way to put it yes
yes you wouldn't know unless you were told most of the time yes that is true
so you might argue it's not different or at least there's so much overlap that you can't know
there you go good way to put it yes yes so much overlap that you can't know. There you go. Good way to put it. Yes.
So much vaginal overlap.
Those vagina diagrams are close.
I was preaching the literal overlap.
The main thing that you notice, I think, is that women who have had kids often have,
especially if they've had a few, is that their boobs have that deflated thing going on,
or maybe they have stretch marks or something, even if they have gotten back into shape.
I think that's a big boob thing, an older big boob thing. No? I think it's kind of just saying. I mean, like maybe those Venn diagrams aren't as,
you know, overlapping as the vagina one, but I don't think it's just a big boob thing. I think
it's just kind of like those titties have been sucked for milk for multiple times and they're kind of not a hundred
percent oh that's interesting they've lost some structural integrity they're starting to look
like those drops on the side of a wet glass on a summer day like yes condensation yes really
hanging down pretty far absolutely unlike the droplet that might be coming off of the leaf that would you know what I think that
The age at which they had kids I think the boob might bounce back better if they're having kids earlier
Oh, that's definitely true. Like if you have children when you're like
22 or 24 or whatever like it's easier for your body to recover
Then it is if you're you know
35 like same way if you injure yourself working out when you're 22.
It's going to be way easier than when you're 35.
And you could always get breast implants to fix that right up.
I've never touched a breast implant either.
Well, some are good, some are bad.
Sometimes they are squishy.
To me, it's about how much squish there is.
When you squeeze them, if it's like,
for those of you not watching the video,
you get nothing from this.
He's doing the
boob honking hand signal. We all know it.
Yeah, but if they're bad, it's like,
those are hard. It's like squeezing
an actual cantaloupe, right?
It's just, nothing there.
But if they're good, it's like, oh!
There's a little bit of give on the actual skin and like small
amount of subcutaneous fat and then your finger runs into the brick that is the the overly hard
and it matters if they're saline or silicone of course too silicone is preferable but a little
more dangerous i think they're back to silicone now they are okay yeah women are risk takers
nowadays good for them i think maybe i don't know if i heard this
from kyle and it was on the show or i heard it elsewhere but it started with silicone but that
was leaking and it was hurting women so they went to saline and then the bag that the silicone came
in improved substantially so they went back to silicone yeah i like uh my women to have like a
sleep number bed style thing where i can like pull on your lobes to like really perfect what I want.
You know, sometimes you pull really hard on one and like not at all on the other and you make them like this.
What's your tit number bed?
Dude, you joke, but I think you just stumbled onto the fucking future.
All right, picture this.
All right, so they have those penis implants where literally on your gooch, there's like a football pump type thing that
pops out and you pump your dick up down there like an internal pump that it that comes out and you
pump your dick up if there were titties that you could have like two modes right or you know
multiple modes in between but you'd have one mode for going out on saturday night and you'd have
another mode for going into work on monday morning because they say that women with larger breasts have a
hard time succeeding in the business world right they aren't taken seriously
because of stereotypes so maybe you want to be cup when you go into the office
but you want to decoup when you go out on Saturday night right if you could
pump those bitches up that that'd be worth 30 that those that's 30 000 tit job like i would
love that i don't know how you'd work the nipple i feel like you get like some odd nipple size
growth and stretching there right like you know they cut the nipple off and put it back on
yeah but like traditional breast implants aren't like growing and shrinking like a sleep number
bed like the idea we're having which is
right behind tilk in our in our fucking pipeline fellas why are you bringing realism into my fantasy
i don't know the nipples might not match fuck you come on get on board okay it was my idea i'm gonna
be the ceo of custom tits squeeze number tits come on these number tits get that digital readout on the back of her head
you just lift her hair up and it's you went too big you went too big sorry sorry sorry
and they're just getting enormous we don't even pretend that it's for the women themselves because
it's on the back of their head so get over here bitch i'm gonna program it for you today
i'm going to my grandma's funeral oh well, well, then get a mirror, honey, because I'm setting it too big.
You want some Alexa control for those things.
Yeah.
Well, I'm sorry if I led anyone astray on either Only Use Me Blade or Logan Paul,
but I stand by my thoughts.
Both of them, really nice people to me.
Really nice people. Logan Paul has a lot of energy in real life.
He's on board.
He's wide-eyed. He's always scratching his nose. He's always itchy.
He just seems like... I'm making that up. I'm just being silly.
I'm just being silly. He's a lot, but he's not sick.
I'm completely making that up and being shitty.
No, he really is very nice to me and very like, you know, like there was a scene where I choke him in the movie.
And he's like, no, bro, fucking choke me.
Fucking get me.
And like this dude is twice as big as I am.
He is incredibly muscular.
And maybe an inch or two taller than me, he is big.
And I'm like, I just saw a monkey get sucked out of an airlock.
But me choking you is the most unrealistic thing in this movie.
Like, this is absurd.
I'm choking him. That would not happen in real life.
He's a big dude. He is very big and very
strong and very nice guy. Just saying. That's my experience. Catch him anywhere but a Japanese
legend forest and you'll agree. You don't want him there on your... if you've committed suicide
because he's gonna vlog that shit but otherwise just... just the beat uh he could have at least made that video like more tactful but i
guess it was probably like an intentional thing to make it not tactful to get the attention
because if he'd done like i saw some people on twitter being like he could have just
made the video all without the body and just had it been him going back to his hotel being like
guys we had this big vlog planned and it just got too intense, like too real
or whatever. It's like, no, nobody would have cared about that
because a dead body wouldn't have been there.
What are you looking at here?
My friends at the Blues game.
Oh, really? Yeah, they're playing
the Devils of some kind?
The New Jersey Devils. Okay.
The Devils of some kind.
The Devils!
The Devils!
The Jersey Devil is our chupacabra, you know, Devil! Devil! Devil! Yes, yes.
The Jersey Devil is our chupacabra,
you know, the local scary thing that only we care about.
There's a good X-Files episode about the Jersey Devil.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Turns out to be feral children.
Is this just a regular friend of yours,
or is this a gal that's come into town?
You know, let's just leave it at that.
Oh, can we go to our other topic? Kyle has moved and adjusting to city life and
talked to us. Well, I couldn't bring my tractor.
And made me leave all the chickens
too.
I'm in Atlanta.
I've got my 100 megabit
down and 10 or 12 megabit up
intranet here.
Really putting it to use over
on PUBG, having a great time.
I love the delivery food. I've been getting
delivery sushi and delivery Indian
food. The grocery stores are obviously much nicer and only five minutes away.
You go to the grocery store, and there's literally a Japanese man in the grocery store making fresh sushi right there and packaging it up for you.
Everything's very nice.
I'm loving it.
And it's actually quieter.
We were talking about how quiet it is in this neighborhood we're in.
Because back home, it's quieter. It absolutely is.
You go outside and it's complete silence.
The speed limits here are very low.
And it's big neighborhoods.
Whereas back home, I was kind of near a highway.
You'd hear ambulances all the time and semi-trucks and neighbors, even though
they're a quarter mile away, you could hear them jibber-jabbering
across the highway and stuff.
It's eerily
quiet when you go outside. The neighbor's dog
tried to attack me on the first night, though. That was
interesting.
I was in my jammies.
I was in my jammies. I was
outside, and Shadow comes
barreling toward me. He's like half Rottweiler, half Labrador or something. I was outside, and Shadow comes barreling toward me.
He's like half Rottweiler, half Labrador or something.
Fur stuck up, and he's just,
and I look for the owner of this dog that's going to hopefully restrain it,
and it's like a four-year-old girl, and she's just like,
We don't put up with this where I come from.
Yeah, completely unarmed, didn't have a stick.
I just froze. I was just like, hey there, Shadow!
And finally some lady came out and she's like, Shadow, no!
No! Not again, Shadow! No! And she restrained her dog.
But yeah, I'm liking it here in the city a lot. It's very nice.
No complaints. Having a good time.
That's good.
What was that, Woody? Sorry? It's very nice. No complaints. Having a good time. That's good. Do you have anything?
What was that, Woody? Sorry.
A bird.
It was like four feet tall.
I had a cracker and I fed it and I don't know.
I said hi to it.
There was a bigger one and a smaller one.
No, there was a three and a half foot cracker
and he wouldn't take the food from me.
It's like, that's why you're small, you fucking bitch. A three and a half foot cracker and he wouldn't take the food from me. And it's like, that's why you're small, you fucking bitch.
A three and a half foot cracker?
No, the three and a half foot bird
and a four foot bird.
The four foot one would take the cracker
and the little one went hungry.
I was joking because you said a three and a half foot cracker
and you can't get midget talk out of your head.
And he spent so much time on that shit.
Kyle, like, what's the, uh, uh like i'm sure having moved to a city now
like you got like a kind of like little list of things that you want to do that you weren't able
to do before is there anything like that where you're like i'm gonna actually go to a braves
game for real this year i'm gonna actually you know go to an atlanta museum or something or
i don't know if they have a zoo. Obviously not stuff for now, but just stuff
that you'll have to do over the summer. There's a lot of
stuff. I've done all those things
before. I've been to the Atlanta Zoo.
I've been to the Atlanta Museum.
Fern Bank is very nice.
The Science Museum. They have a huge IMAX
there where they show nature films. I've seen them all.
I've been to the zoo
a couple times. It smells like shit.
I've been to the parks. Yeah, right. I've been to the parks. It's it smells like shit I've been to the parks
and it's animal jail
I feel bad for them
the only thing you wanted to do was raise his kill death ratio
in PUBG by a decimal
honestly yeah absolutely
I'm fucking top 4%
city living
yeah man
I'm sitting here
I just ordered a new gaming chair i'm like yeah this
is what i want this is herman miller no i did not get that absurd herman miller chair how many days
have you been there now kyle a max nomic that's what i'm getting as a it's a max nomic m-a-x-n-o-m-i-c
uh i've been here like uh four days i guess how many times have you used order in Grubhub or Postmates or one of those services? I'm just curious.
Maybe five times. Like every day plus one more. We're actually cooking tonight. I went to the grocery store and got some crab cakes.
I'm going to cook some crab cakes up and some potatoes and stuff. But but yeah virtually every single day and night i've
gotten uh delivery food and some days twice is there anything i mean you've only been there a
few days but anything that you've already told or been able to tell like oh this just is not
nearly as good as where i used to live no no i mean i can't piss in the yard so that's that's
a problem but we we have toilets here so that that's that's that makes up for it i
guess and it's really cold or it's been cold fucking all week i think it was cold even in
atlanta right yeah very very cold it dropped down to like 13 last night or 16 or something like that
it's gonna be in the 20s tonight um and uh and yeah i no complaints here not missing anything
from back home uh i think my uh my my dad is going to come out and visit later this week.
Got an extra bedroom here for him. Maybe my mom will come too.
I know she wanted to come. So yeah.
No complaints at all. Oh, and if you only have one extra bedroom, they, your mom and dad
can stay in the same one. You can do like a parent trap kind of thing. Yeah, right.
One of you isn't British. Yeah, Chiz knew exactly where i was going kitty kitty's there you know yeah she cancels the um i thought about
i actually thought about this whole thing and i was like i'll probably just offer to sleep on the
couch and that way one of them can have my bed and the other can have the guest bed so don't make
things awkward for them or anything um they slept together for years and years and years they can
put a pillow in between them i think my mom's favorite thing about not being married anymore
is that she doesn't have to deal with that snoring.
Like, I wouldn't subject her to that.
Did he get a BPAP?
He has one, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, he has one.
I haven't lived with him since he started using it,
so I don't know how effective it is.
I think maybe it's...
I don't know, I hadn't really considered think maybe it's i don't know i hadn't really
considered that but uh yeah i not to derail us i apparently am an olympic level snorer but with
the machine it's literally zero to 100 salt nice yeah oh and uh bandwagon ha the fucking georgia bulldogs won uh their game last night uh it was an ink not last night
was it last night yeah yeah it's it's it's weird here because i i stay up constantly and just play
video games um georgia won and it was an incredible game an incredible game which yeah they were
behind for like uh all of the first half and then maybe
uh into the third quarter some of them that they came back and tied it up and then they went behind
and they tied it up and they went behind and they tied it up then they go to overtime and then
double overtime block a field goal score a td it was it was incredible it was a It was an amazing game, and so now we go and take on
the Alabama Crimson Tide,
which is not the best matchup for us.
We would have much preferred to play Clemson,
and Alabama would have much preferred to play us.
Oh, yeah, Alabama's happy to be playing you guys.
Yes.
Because I think that they've...
I mean, to be fair,
they've kind of skull-fucked everybody
the past few years, for the most part,
aside from Auburn, but Auburn's not in it.
So you guys...
Why are you a bad matchup?
Just because Alabama, in recent years, just tends to womp all over Georgia.
Alabama has an excellent line, and Georgia's a running team.
Jake Fromm isn't an excellent quarterback, and he's certainly not a mobile threat,
which is what would have matched well against Alabama and Ohio,
who Georgia just beat.
They have that.
They have an explosive –
Excuse me, Oklahoma.
I keep calling them Ohio.
They have an explosive offense, mobile quarterback, really talented guys.
Georgia's a running team, uh the thought process i think with
with everybody the talking heads and and all that is that alabama is going to be able to shut that
down and that jake from isn't going to make them uh respect his throwing game and so alabama is
going to be able to tailor their defense to shutting down georgia's run and that'll be all
she wrote i really hope georgia wins i'd like to see alabama be kind of
not the greatest team over and over and i remember like second place is anybody else old enough like
last year three weeks ago when everybody like every college football fan was like oh sec time
come to an end sec yeah right thing of the past big 10 big 10 bringing it home two in there and it was
like now nobody's saying anything because once again sec fucked you and it's another sec sec
only has two teams in the national championship this year guys like eat shit we're better than
mizzou which is a horrible team in the sec this year, like, when they ventured out of the SEC for the most part,
they kind of kicked shit in, you know,
because it's just bigger, better schools here.
Like, as far as the football culture, like, everybody cares.
So I really want to see Georgia win,
but almost as much I want to see Alabama lose.
Absolutely, yeah, yeah.
Games next week, you know. That's the cool thing about
the system.
Every week you get one.
We'll get the national
championship game. Georgia has
their chance to win the first one
since 1980.
Quite a while.
Alabama made Clemson look
terrible.
24-6.
24-6. Yeah.
24-6.
They didn't score a TD.
They got a couple field goals.
Clemson losing, Clemson not scoring as the number one ranked country,
school in the country.
That was interesting.
And you know that those guys were so fired up to play Clemson
because, of course, Clemson beat them last year.
Yeah.
And Clemson was the champion.
So you could tell that they had not forgotten that.
I saw they showed one of the Alabama players.
His screensaver was him walking off the field in defeat from last year.
It's been that all year.
Good for him.
He's like, I didn't want to forget how that felt.
Alabama is so fucking good like
like if for for an even a school like like mizzou like our recruiting like our big strategy's got
to be like we got to get some of those like second team alabama kids that are never going to play
and tell them like hey you're going to play all the fucking time in missouri like get on over here
but even then so many of those kids will just stay on Alabama. Alabama's second
team is better than still
what, 80% of the teams in the country?
I had a friend who was that guy.
The guy I went to high school with. His name was Doug Coleman.
He played at
Nebraska, but barely played. Like his senior
year, he got like a couple of reps.
Played in the NFL for seven years.
Wow.
Like a sideline kind of guy? uh uh he didn't play every play or
anything i mean he was some special teams and stuff but he has he's six or seven year nfl career
yeah yeah and i think he got more time in the nfl than he did at nebraska that's crazy yeah and even
if he's standing there on the sides like drinking a lot of gatorade and like holding his pads it's
still like well i'm still making 400 grand a year or whatever, like the least amount they're allowed to pay you. So it's still
pretty awesome. Seven years of that, you're set. You might prefer that, right? Like,
I think you'd rather make 450 grand a year and sit on the sidelines for seven years,
then make a million a year and get your brain bashed in for seven years and then not be able
to go on and sell cars or something like that. Have anger management issues
and beat your wife. You want to lose a million
dollars? Hit your wife.
Take it all. Take half for sure.
Oh, I might take it all.
You fucking boxer.
One fucking time.
That's all it takes.
I'm surprised
everybody's known for so long
that running into things with your head
isn't
beneficial and like just now you just learned it yeah like i don't want to see us get too away
from physical sports you know where they're like saying we need to take this kind of hitting out
of football or make it slower or whatever because eventually that's going to trickle down to hockey
and i don't want to see anything change but thankfully few enough people care about hockey
that they won't have to do that yeah up until the point where some hockey player goes rogue
with one of those sticks and just starts lopping heads off at the at the quickie mart
then it's then it's all over right like as soon as yarmir yoggers had one too many concussions
and he starts just but he becomes yarmir the the lopper and he's just
when he moves back to czechoslovakia you know that's who he really was oh man uh so one of the
guys i play pub g with uh big max big max is a mexican man you might imagine and he owns uh some
properties in mexico well he says that recently he was outside one of his properties and he found two heads. Two human people heads.
Without the bodies. Were they on his property?
Yes, in his backyard. And I was like, were they
decomposed? Were they skulls? He's like, oh no, they were fresh. You want to see a picture?
I'm like, no! No! I don't want to see this.
Big Max, shoot Woody
a picture of those heads, please.
He's interested for some reason.
Big Max, vlog yourself next
to it and put it on
YouTube. You know who has some
dead bodies in his yard? P.K. A. Dan.
They're like semi-marked.
Did he put them there? No.
They bought the house with them. They came with slave
grave sites.
I guess in North Carolina there were slaves and they just kind of put them there? No, they bought the house with them. They came with slave grave sites. And I guess in North Carolina, there were slaves,
and they just kind of put them in the backyard,
because, you know, they don't last forever.
They came with slave grave sites.
I like how you phrased that.
Here's the bodega, or the fucking whatever.
Here's the pool, and these are slave grave sites.
And you'd really...
What was remarkable is there were like big rocks,
unmarked, kind of,
but marked with rocks with no writing.
And they were lined up in a very straight line
that once I was told like,
oh, these are the graves,
I'm like, yeah, I see it.
There, there, there.
Like there's five of them,
like in a very straight line.
That's what unmarked grave sites are like here in the South.
That's six when learned.
That's six when learned. That's six when learned.
That's bad.
Would it make me, if I lived in that house,
I wouldn't need to dig up all the bodies,
but I might want to remove the gravestones
reminding you all the time that there were lots of bodies
buried in your backyard.
Would that make you a bad person to be like,
I don't want to be reminded that there's five
dead people right here every day.
I don't mind the dead people.
I just don't want to mow around it.
Can I just get rid of the headstones
so that I can mow over more effectively?
That is what happened in Poltergeist.
That is literally the premise.
Is it really? To mow easier?
No, to build condominiums.
It was too expensive to actually move the graveyard,
so they just moved the fucking headstones
and left the bodies down in the ground.
And then they built a whole housing complex around it.
And then fucking Coach built his pool in the backyard,
and there's bodies floating around in there,
and little Carol Ann's getting sucked off to the no man's land.
Go toward the light, Carol Ann!
Oh, I never thought of it. The Scott Trade Center where the Blues play, that's built on a lot of Indian gravesites,
which may explain some of this luck that we've had for the last half century.
Yeah.
I think we just take one sweeping purge.
Yeah, the Indians, they only wake up in fucking, you know, April.
That's when they get pissed.
Yeah, they like to toy with their heartstrings.
That's another president's trophy for the blues.
Time to ruin their hopes once again.
That's a great accent.
I've been watching sad commercials of Indians. No, I need to figure out somewhere else.
You don't hear Native American accents anymore.
No, they stole our accents. The white men came, they took our tongue and our language.
You know, we never sound very excited.
Not a very happy folk. Well, we don't have much left.
We have high cholesterol and
low credit ratings. I'm an alcoholic.
It's true. So I have a
friend who's an American Indian.
Like a real life American Indian.
And he's like, God, I'm
so cursed. Like, I process food and turn
it into fat easily my body loves alcohol I have this like all the stereotype and it's it's literally
the most most racist thing I could think of because he's genuinely saying that like his
physiology is inferior because he's Indian I'm always trying to take gifts back from people.
I sold my house for a basket of beads.
They said, you can't own land.
And they proved us wrong on that.
We tried to walk back onto the land,
shot us, said this is our land.
We said you can't buy land. They said we did.
I said, for these beads,
you got chipped.
Lost the mood to the beads.
Got wasted
and dropped him in a creek.
You were saying the racist thing he was saying
about himself it's not that like they want alcohol more than other people it's kind of like with
asian people like they can't metabolize it the same way because like white europeans have been
drinking alcohol for thousands of years and so like if you're irish like your liver is tempered it's ready for it you
know it expects the alcohol and it knows how to metabolize and process it if you're a native
american it needs it yeah if you're a real lawyer uh evolution totally makes sense in this regard
right like totally it's the people who can best process their alcohol in Ireland that are making babies two hours later yes and that's why
you see Asian people get like a significant percentage of them when Asian people get drunk
you'll like they get red faces like their faces light up because like that's I don't know what
enzyme or whatever is being released to try and break down the the alcohol in their system but
you can tell with Asian people same thing with Americans, although I don't know if their face gets red. I just know
it takes less
to get them wasted, because they
just can't sift through it as
quickly. I hope that's true.
I wonder if they're really good at pot
or whatever it is they're smoking in their peace pipes.
I don't know
what they're smoking. Tobacco?
Well, they did introduce us to tobacco, right?
These days, it's mostly
meth.
What if Native American Indians could really
handle their meth in a way that would make
an Irishman jealous?
Turns out, no.
No one grew up
with thousands of years of ancestors doing
meth.
There wasn't some guy thousands of years ago
with a Gatorade bottle and some tinfoil
sitting in his teepee, shaking it up,
making that meth gas.
Because that's how a lot of them do it.
Hey, little feather, come hit this shit.
No, that doesn't happen.
Yeah, I think one of the reasons
why they're so fat,
I've read that it has to do with the government food,
basically, that we would give them
while they were on the reservations. And it was a lot of fried
bread and these processed
cheeses and stuff.
Is that true that Native Americans are fat?
Yeah.
And they had to come up with all these dishes
that centered around things like
fried bread and processed
cheese. And I don't remember what the other things
were. Maybe like salted pork, that sort of thing.
It's like the worst things for you.
Basically my diet.
And so all their dishes are like,
you know, fried bread with cheese
and fucking, you know, sliced up salted pork.
And yeah, I think that's why they have such a terrible terrible health issues they're
real cursed people you know they should have fought it out right like i feel why they give up
well they didn't give up like this is like the the kind of like noble savage narrative that you
see with from some people it's like you know it was a bunch of Native Americans just hanging out man just doing their thing in their teepees it's like that's what it seemed like to
some people at the time like that came over here because when as like some guy from Spain or
whatever the fuck you wouldn't be like oh that's a Cherokee that's a Blackfoot that's a Sioux or
whatever but like right behind you know wherever the white man had pushed to there was huge wars between
tribes all over the place, so it wasn't like they could just
band together, it was like, you know, who would
you give the land back to? The Cherokee, and then they have to
give it back to the Sioux, and then they have to give it back to the Blackfeet
and they have to give it back to fucking the Iroquois
or whatever the fuck, like, cause they were
it's kind of like Europe in a way, just
kind of more low-tech warfare. The Cherokee
were actually the, I think
who were they? The Civilized Tribe is what they called them, cause they gave were actually the uh I think who were they the the
civilized tribe is what they called them because they gave up right the fuck away they were like
all right cool and they just got fucked time and time again they and the Seminole who were from
Florida were some of the ones who had it worst on that trail of tears out west think about it's
like someone someone from my neck of the woods were like you know mountains and very green and
fertile lands they sent them out to the fucking bad lands.
Out to New Mexico and shit like that.
Yeah, yeah.
And out there is where the rough customers were.
Like I've said it before on the show.
The Dakotas.
Yeah, exactly.
Sioux is not a tribe of Indians.
Sioux is an Indian word that means enemy.
They were the Lakota.
They were some rough motherfuckers.
Those were the ones fucking scalping people and counting coup on motherfuckers.
But those Cherokee, like, because they were, you know, clever enough to see the writing on the wall.
How long do you think after they saw the first firearm used?
Were they like, you know, frankly, there's not as many of them as there are.
Bang!
This is going to go badly fellas they're like so i've never seen anything like that in my life
did something come out of it is it a trick oh no over there he's actually dead these people
are magic well they're surviving in the sun with this kind of skin so some kind of
magic i've heard it said that arrows were better in a lot of ways that you can shoot you can reload
much faster they would just pull in pull in pull in meanwhile they shoot a gun and it takes them
like a minute and a half to shoot again that's why we still have the u.s armored crossbow brigade
i'm not saying they're better than modern guns.
Just that circle the wagon scenario, you know, maybe arrows aren't terrible.
Yeah, yeah, they definitely weren't terrible.
If you have a number of them on horses, it would make sense.
Yeah, it would just depend on the situation.
I mean, if they got on top of you and you've got those guns that realistically, like, the best guys with a muzzle loader shoot i think uh six shots a minute something like that like the best like like
your top level trained military man he's biting that shit off and
like four or five they're not and of course and of course it took us like a hundred years to get
rid of them all right like like we got here here in like a couple hundred years to cleanse this great continent of ours of their filth.
Because early on we had the flintlock bullshit, and that doesn't even go off every time.
And then they had the percussion cap guys.
And then by the time we get to the westerns that I really enjoy so much,
they had those lever action rifles and stuff and revolvers.
And then they really got what was coming to them.
Do you think that, like, they were getting upset along the way, the Native Americans?
Were they like, well, we thought we had them held off
with those wheelie guns.
They came back with something new.
It fires even fat.
Yeah, we got our top people on it.
They're making as big a bow as they can.
We don't know what it is.
Yeah, I love that third Hobbit movie. people on it. They're making as big a bow as they can. We don't know what it is that they've got going to make it
do. We don't even know what they're shooting
at us, frankly.
We just know there's
a lot of blood and pain.
An inevitable
defeat.
I'd love to, I wonder if that ever happened. If there was an Indian who I'd love to
I wonder if that ever happened
if there was an Indian who was old enough to be like
it was not always this way
now they have a
Hotchkiss gun
we are still shooting the same bow
my grandson's
literally using mine
yeah
really makes you re-evaluate the way we've kind of done things
like they went 15 000 years without inventing a fence what the fuck kind of society is that
do you think like one dude there like who came up with a you can't own land thing they were like hey
you have to give me this land for your daughter he's like oh even implying you can own land makes
you a fool and the other guy's like i guess you're right he's like oh even implying you can own land makes you a fool and the other guy's
like i guess you're right he's like oh shit that worked all right i guess i get to fuck your
daughter anyway right these are the rules what if they had put a fence around the buffalo and that
would have kicked off like land ownership agriculture maybe farming maybe putting some
roots like it could have sent their society in an advanced
direction if they had just built a fence.
Sorry, I froze there.
I think before you get to
animal domestication, you have to do
agriculture. Pottery.
Plant domestication. Oh, okay.
We're going to talk about...
I'm pretty sure they had pottery.
I'm just using the Civilization V
skill tree. They don't know the Civilization V skill tree.
You're right.
They don't know fluting or whatever the fuck.
You start with pottery.
Always start with pottery.
Okay.
Well, then.
I mean, there are still, like, tribes around the world that haven't invented agriculture.
Like, they're running out because, like, the world's modernizing and kind of swallowing them up.
But there's, like, still African tribes that African tribes that hunt for their food every day,
never planted a seed or built a fence or anything.
Yeah, they're doing great.
No, they could be doing that.
Have you seen their beautiful works of art?
And that machinery they have there.
That African internet that they invented.
And no one, no one on the planet cuts off a hand better.
If you went, like, but even back with the Native Americans and their technologies,
like if some dude from, you know, Ethiopia or whatever went on a vacation to visit his, you know,
brother-in-law in Native American land and came back, he'd be like,
you will not believe how quickly these arrows fly from the bow.
They have a long bend.
You got a string, go like this.
We have been using a long stick, throw a longer stick for thousands of years.
It's taking so long.
And then you lose it and had to make a whole nother stick.
This much, much faster.
Very impressed. They are not doing well against the white stick. This much, much faster. Very impressed.
They are not doing well against the white people in their battle,
but it will turn around.
They say the white people have something that explode,
kill you right away.
I say,
Nana,
we have a protection of the gods.
Not that.
Works for Israel.
Yeah.
That in the United States.
We call it the atlatl of Mugumbe.
Shoots down all incoming
projectiles.
Like the slinger David.
Yeah.
Those atlatls.
I wonder if anyone makes a modern
atlatl. With carbon fiber or plastic Yeah, those addle addles. I wonder if anyone makes a modern addle addle, right?
Like with carbon fiber or plastic or steel bolts or something.
Because it really is an effective weapon.
You can fucking fling the shit out of that thing if you're strong.
I hurt my shoulder somehow, and it's been hurting.
Does it hurt now?
No.
That's not as much fun.
No, it's been hurting now. No, no, no. It's not as much fun. No, it's been hurt for about three weeks now,
and I got to go to a doctor.
It's real bad.
Is that when you started moving stuff?
No, no.
Let's do some mobility on either side.
Raise it up.
I mean, I can move, but it's very painful,
and it's like in here, in the shoulder, but it's very painful.
And it's like in here, in the shoulder, and it hurts a lot.
Top mobility.
Extreme mobility.
All right, so if I hold my arm up like this, and then I try to go back further, that's when it really hurts.
Oh, when you do that really unnatural movement?
You can't launch a car motor without that.
Just saying.
You need it. What was me know i know this is an awkward way to fuck up your shoulder like it doesn't take much
weight to like really wrench you back if you're trying to move something but but what i'm saying
is like that actuates the muscle or tendon or whatever the fuck is fucked. It's not good. I definitely need some milk. Can you break dance?
No.
Can you?
No.
No.
It looked pretty good
at my half inch by half inch
window.
But I sleep myself.
I'm mostly head.
So you got plans with the
pair of friends tonight?
No.
We finished. We had dinner together
and then ran over here and
I'm just going to chill for the night.
I was trying to think.
I laugh at the pair of friends too because I always
want to think like Paralympics like you guys
are out there like with non-functioning legs you guys need to be uh like fanboys that's a good one
uh we're the hell's aviators the hell's aviators i'll think of a of a of a pun for that
or something yeah because i i feel like you're missing a lot of opportunity just going with
pair of friends you're gonna tell people i opportunity just going with a pair of friends.
You're going to tell people, I'm going places with my pair of friends.
And they're going to be like, oh, he does volunteer work?
That's so sweet.
Chiz wrote in there, he'll CC the Hells Angels.
We went through a big debate.
The Hells Angels don't use apostrophes properly.
They have no apostrophes whatsoever, but there should be one after the second L.
Really? That doesn't sound like them.
Let me look it up.
Yeah, it's in their FAQ. I went to their website, and they're like,
yeah, we know we need an apostrophe. We like it this way.
Got a problem? That's pretty much what the FAQ says.
Jeez. They just have a website?
Yeah. They're a motorcycle club.
They just happen to often be affiliated with organized criminal activity.
Allegedly.
But it's clearly more than allegedly.
It says, here's a few lists of their allies.
The Aryan Brotherhood.
AK-81.
The Red Scorpions.
The Musitano Crime Family.
The Musitano Crime Family.
Ah, I'm going to my good friend's house he's a biker take it easy you're like oh it's in the name yeah hey should we make it like the musitano like uh you know
emporium for interesting businesses no Apparently they're Jewish.
Well, there's always a Jew involved.
That's the Musitano Crime Syndicate.
Yeah, that's going to be hard to get on your fucking tax return.
That's going to raise some... That can't be right.
No, they're not associated with the United Nations.
Oh, it's just a gang that named themselves the United Nations.
Ah, I see.
Ooh, these guys, the Nazi lowriders.
Well, that's...
If I'm being frank, and I'm in the gang world,
I want to know they're on my side, right?
You'd rather know that there's not some low-riding Nazi out there coming for you.
You guys beefing with the Nazi low-riders again?
Yeah.
I can't be hanging around.
I mean, what if they show up?
You know, I'm an Aryan Brotherhood kind of guy.
They put their swastikas on backwards.
We never see straight.
I don't think they do, though. But I bet all these guys have swastikas on backwards. We never see straight. Hmm. I don't think they do, though.
But I bet all these guys have swastika tattoos.
Yeah, whenever you talk about the pair of friends,
like Kitty's friend Dylan, who was in Iraq,
and he got shot in the neck,
and now he's paralyzed mostly from the neck down.
That's what he calls his buddies.
Really?
He calls them his pair of friends,
because they're all fucking crippled.
Give us some time, Kyle.
We fly paramotors.
We'll be paraphrase friends
in the same way that he is
in a couple of months.
Look at that.
If you're really interested,
you should talk to a member in your area.
If you have to ask where the nearest charter is,
you're not ready to join our motorcycle club.
I actually like that yeah it's like
an actual like a fight club rules thing like you can't ask around about it you just have to i guess
know how a membership can't possibly be booming with this recruitment strategy well they get the
ones they want you think they have like a linkedin page i feel like i know where the motorcycle bars
are i could find them.
Oh, and you're right.
They wear identifying jackets.
That wouldn't be too hard.
They advertise themselves.
I used to play poker in a motorcycle club bar,
but I didn't think anybody there was a gang.
I'm sure some of them were, right?
I never saw them wearing the cuts or anything you know they were just
motorcyclers
who broke the law a little
I bet a lot of them
break the law a lot
if you go to albums galleries on
hellsangels.com it just
says funerals
like there's
different funerals
oh Chiz mentioned that 2015 waco shootout there's
there's either a movie or a documentary being made about that i don't know if you guys remember that
but that's when like i don't remember the the the motorcycle gangs involved like maybe it was the
mongols and the fucking who know yeah but but they got into a goddamn gunfight and a bunch of them died. The Bandidos and the Cossacks. Jesus Christ,
these names.
Like,
they got into a fucking gunfight and a bunch of them
died. I remember that well.
Yeah, nine deaths, 18 injuries,
177 arrests.
Wow.
That was a hell of a party.
that was a hell of a party I'm
yeah
I mean it was definitely
it got out of hand
alright
well that's a show
I had fun
yeah me too
alright well you know
don't give up hope on
Jake Paul and Only Use Me Blade.
They're good people.
One for two.
Fuck.
I thought Logan Paul, and then I was like, nah, I think it's the other.
I saw a Jake Paul poster at Walmart the other day.
I was walking through, and there he is on a poster there.
Good for him.
Making money.
Yeah, absolutely.
Very cool.
Well, I guess that was PKN, episode 170 or 80-something.