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vacation painkiller nearly episode 199 so i asked taylor for a first topic or the gang and taylor's
like no i haven't been keeping up i love it when i'm that guy right like like i've been that guy
recently i was gone for two weeks on my paramotor fly vacation thing and uh it's like you know i
have no topics i've been completely unplugged from the world it's been fantastic love it is that
where you are great yeah it's like when you're on
twitter or the internet as a whole way too often you just get sad like you're just like man
everything's so out of control even though it's really not out of control you just get that
feedback loop of it and just disconnecting from that even for like a week you're like oh man
turns out in the real world most people are pretty okay like most people aren't this obsessive
one way or the other about not just politics anything like it's pretty nice so i totally
totally understand i've just been enjoying my time getting sunburned uh which will peel into a nice
pale and i'll be back where i started aren't you italian well accutane really messed my skin
up my ability to tan changed dramatically when I was
like 14 and I took it. And so now I don't get nearly as dark as I used to, but I also get a
pimple. I think I had a pimple in 2006 last time. So it's pretty great. The great pimple of 06.
We all remember. Yeah. I'm the opposite right now. Not that I have great topics, but
so
this weekend and late last week
I went to my mother-in-law's memorial
service. And
that involved a bunch of driving and a bunch
of sitting around. Like, not the memorial
service itself, but
you know, we're at the house, like,
dealing with things, identifying trash or
whatever. And I ran out of internet.
Like, there weren't any news stories.
YouTube didn't have enough videos for me.
And Reddit didn't have enough stories.
And I just got bored of everything.
It was a miserable existence.
Yeah, I checked Twitter a couple nights ago.
And it was something with Trump and Kim Jong-un meeting up.
And I was like, you know what?
I'm so glad I don't give a fuck about this right now.
I'm just enjoying my time, doing what I want, whether it's frolicking on the beach, eating crab, which I haven't had any crab yet.
I even texted you guys earlier today saying, can we do the show at six so that I can make sure I get there with crab? Because I don't want to get there before it closes and have them
only have enough time to make me two to four pounds. I'm going to order at least six. And so
I'll send a couple pictures of that. It's going to be the girl I'm here with. She's going to get
to be a different side of me at this restaurant. And we're going to see how it goes. Because I
warned her. I was like, the way I eat crab isn't the way you've seen anyone eat crab before it's like i'm sure it's
fine i'm like when i order the third double pound size you might be you know asking questions as
you're pushing the shells back onto my side of the table so we'll see how that goes is this a girl that's a potential romantic girl yeah uh she's a definitely
a romantic girl i yeah definitely very interested like her a lot and she's she's great you've been
having a blast that's cool that's cool so you down there with just i thought i don't know why i had
this idea you're down there with your family that's not right no no my uh so my dad owns a home
here in this area and then also in st louis and he bounces back and forth and it just so happened idea you're down there with your family that's not right no no my uh so my dad owns a home here
in this area and then also in st louis and he bounces back and forth and it just so happened
this is a time where he wasn't here and it would happen to be this time that i could go and so i
think like two days after i leave he shows up okay which means i gotta do a lot of cleaning
tomorrow but uh yeah i'll be back for pk on thursday so yeah i'm i'm having a great time i
i hope some of this tan sticks and i don't look so pale but who knows i don't look too burned right
now i don't think i feel like i've put on five pounds of uh beer and cheeseburger and shrimp
weight, so I'm going to really have to go
hard to make up for this.
I'm having a blast. What's new
with you guys? Not swimming.
I've been cooking a lot of shrimp
lately. That's something that I've added.
And I've been swimming, so...
That reminds me of It's Always Sunny, where they're doing charty mcdennis
and they're like frank can be on your team because his mind is weak or his mind is still
sharp but his spirit is weak and max like well we'd have to take a whole new team photo
and work on the strategy and charlie's like well the strategy never worked max, and I hate the team photo. Just immediately cuts it back.
But yeah,
glad to hear you guys are
also enjoying yourself. Kyle, you've
introduced shrimp. Yes.
Hopefully not deep fried.
No, I've been sautéing it
in olive oil and butter,
a little lemon juice, paprika,
some red chili powder,
garlic, of course, and a little lemon juice.
Some parsley to finish things off.
You know, just cook it up like three, four minutes in a pan on medium-high heat for those taking notes.
And, you know, I just dump all of that over my steak, and it's very good.
Very good.
I really don't like deep-fried seafood.
Yeah, I don't like it usually.
I'm trying to think if there's anything I do like fried as far as seafood probably i don't think so no i like um crab cakes i think sometimes
they're fried oh yeah those are so good but those are those are i saute those in like a pan of butter
though you know you've got it just just just butter in the bottom of the pan just order them off the menu i'll have this and the fine gentleman
in back well he'll work out those details for me yeah like i know i think we've discussed this
before but isn't it disappointing when you go somewhere that brags like we've got 50 different
kinds of fish and alligator and shark and dolphin or whatever else. They probably can't serve dolphin.
That's one of them.
You can see it on the menu and it's all deep fried.
You can't even tell what you're eating.
Yeah.
I don't know if you guys have blackened grouper.
Yeah, it's very good.
It's delicious. It's fantastic.
A little acid reflux-y, but it's worth it.
It could be that or the Bud Light
on the beach.
You take the good with the bad.
Yeah, I like that a lot.
I love seafood.
I like oysters a lot.
I like raw oysters a lot.
But I don't like cheap raw oysters.
That's a no-go.
That seems risky.
Yeah, that too.
And even if they're not bad, they're gritty sometimes.
There'll be sand in there.
That's gross.
Yeah, that feeling of sand where you get one granule of sand in your mouth,
and you accidentally bite on it, and it feels like just a boulder crunching between your teeth.
Your teeth are giving way to it, and now there's tooth powder in your mouth.
Yeah, and then you identify the grain of sand sand and you're trying to play a guessing game.
Is this sand or tooth?
Yes.
I've been worried about that because of my fucking teeth.
And sometimes I'll bite and I'm like, oh, no.
Okay.
So every day on the trip has been a blast.
Even today I had fun because I really enjoy spending time with the person I'm here with.
blast even today i had fun because i really enjoy spending time with the person i'm here with but uh we went to some island like 50 minutes north to go on a nature trip to like see turtles
and snakes and shit all over there were signs of like beware the eastern uh rattlesnake and i was
like ah it'll it'll rattle if if we get close it's fine. But she went last time when she was in November.
She's like, oh, I saw so many animals, so many critters.
It was a blast.
It was so awesome.
The weather was great.
So let's do that.
This is what she was saying last night.
I'm like, well, that sounds good to me.
I like kind of experiencing the place I am.
And so we went there.
And we spent like everybody else got off the shuttle.
Or not the shuttle, the ferry to get to this island.
And they're probably from Florida. And so they all just like beelined to the beach but i live in
missouri so i don't get to see all these cool island creatures and so i'm like all right let's
yeah let's definitely go on these hikes we hiked for four and a half hours through these places
and i saw one snake a thousand million liz, which get boring after one because they're that big.
And I got to meet half a billion mosquitoes.
And so it was like maybe two miles into this where I was like slapping them off of the back of her.
Like and there's little blood spots on her shirt and there's blood spots on the back of my leg.
You know, when you kill a mosquito and the blood comes out.
Whose blood is that?
Where I'm like, everyone's.
Is that hers? A previous mosquito
victim?
I don't know.
I even asked her. I was like,
these things don't carry
Hep C or
HIV or anything, do they? Because
they've bit me
And then I'll slap it after it being there for one second
And I'm like, oh, well
Unless this is the fastest sucker in the entire animal kingdom
There's no way this is all my blood
There's just no way
They do carry all those things
Mosquitoes transmit lots of diseases
Oh, man
There are no known cases worldwide
Of what?
Hepatitis from mosquitoes Oh, well. There are no known cases worldwide. Of what? Hepatitis from mosquitoes.
Oh, well, that's good.
This is good news.
Well, your risk is limited to AIDS now.
If I start losing weight rapidly, I'm coming to see you guys.
No, there is no evidence of mosquitoes transmitting any of the known sexually transmissible infections.
That's true.
Oh, they do malaria.
There is some limited theoretical evidence
which suggests it might be possible for mosquitoes to transmit hepatitis,
although there have been no known cases ever worldwide.
They do malaria, though, right?
Yes.
Okay, well, I think I was vaccinated for that, right?
That only happens in, like like sub-saharan vaccinated
for malaria i don't know about that because it seems like every time you go to one of those
scary zones you've got to take like that that that shot yeah it's been one of those scaries oh
woody when you go on your flying trip you're gonna have to get a malaria shot i have a flying trip
coming so i don't think i'm doing the africa one jackie's not really in favor of it and i think
it's really soon but there is another one coming up. So I don't think I'm doing the Africa one. Jackie's not really in favor of it. And I think it's really soon.
But there is another one coming up too, actually.
But the more interesting one is in September.
I don't even know where it is exactly.
But picture like Utah, New Mexico, Colorado.
It's very long.
We're flying over most of the west, going from mountain to mountain.
Launching at high altitudes is very tricky.
I've never done it before. And that's on the thing and because the air is thinner probably that's that
the air is thinner which has two impacts one your wing doesn't lift as well and your motor doesn't
run as strong so both of those make it more difficult and then of course you're exhausted
and then um uh there's a news crew following us and uh they're making like a documentary out of it so there's a
like a camera crew and a chase van and uh it's pretty cool me and a couple other the paramotor
youtubers have been invited and uh it's a neat little experience and it happens in late september
so i hope that goes well and then on as well on friday i'm doing a thing, which is, I guess I'm shooting a commercial
for this. Remember the Resurgence PPG
thing? That
paramotor veterans organization?
Well, they got
special permission to fly
in restricted airspace on
Friday, and
we're going there and shooting a commercial
or something. I don't know exactly what they need from me.
I'll just do whatever.
Have they given you your lines? I don't know. No, commercial or something. I don't know exactly what they need from me. I'll just do whatever. Have they given you your lines?
I don't know.
No, they haven't.
I don't know what's involved.
But I think I'm going to be flying, and that'll be my role.
I don't know exactly what I'll do.
Come on down to Beach, back fan emporium.
Just everyone down where the prices are.
Our prices are low, low.
This is dangerous.
Our prices are lower than you'll be when you fall two miles into the ground
yeah so uh yeah so anyway i'm doing some stuff that involves cameras and chase crews and things
and that should be neat so looking forward to that you know that camera crew is like please
let someone crash oh man please i have want that drama really like if you guys just soar
like from mountaintop to
mountaintop and let's show show sunsets in the utah landscape they're gonna be like well what
the fuck are we gonna do with all this footage mike someone will crash i'm sure this is b-roll
so uh i have a friend all his stories stories start off with some variation of like so i'm
in cambodia filming for discovery channel so i'm in in Abu Dhabi filming for Red Bull or whatever.
And they did a thing, I think it was Vietnam actually,
and everything's going great,
but going great by their standards.
It's not going great by drama standards.
So there's a thing paramotors do
where they fly in the same direction
and they touch their wingtips and they separate.
And it's fun.
It's like a high five in the air.
Well, they decide to add some drama to it.
They're going to do a high five,
but they're going to fly towards each other
and just like smack wings.
So they do that.
And the first time like 10% of the wing touches
and everything is fine.
And there's three of them, by the way.
Two of them are in on this and the other is not.
So then they do it again.
And now like 25% or one third of the wing
and and by like the fourth pass like 50 of the wings are smashing into each other my friend looks
back and the other one is gone he's crashed and he's in the he's in the lake and uh the third one
had no idea that there was any level of planning in this and thought that one guy would just man
down and it was fun good Good times. Seems pretty risky.
Yeah, I guess it was.
We did it over a lake.
Which, on one hand, you think that's safe
because the impact is less dangerous.
But most people die from water.
That's the number one killer.
You'd think hitting the ground would be the number one killer,
but it's not. It's drowning.
It's the number one crippler.
You've mentioned that before. The number one crippler is a spinning prop.
Usually during
maintenance or something, you lose a hand
or a piece of your face.
I was about to say, isn't it supposed to spin?
But you mean something going into the
spinning prop, like a digit.
Or your penis, if you're very daring.
Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
What happens is people work on their
motors while it's on the ground and this is the time the motor is most apt to misbehave because
they're having some sort of problem and uh sure enough you know it starts off at full power and
it it doesn't just come at you it comes at you and spins it's very hard to control so usually
it gets to your hand shoulder or face jesus yeah what are those blades made of
my carbon fiber or wood oh god yeah that's not what you want have you guys ever been to a bush
gardens in florida no i'm not sure it's like a theme park where they also have animals and i
hadn't been to a theme park or amusement park rather in years and years and years and i forgot how good you feel
about yourself walking around around the crowds that go to amusement parks you know like i decided
to drop the extra money and just do the skip the line thing oh because i'm like i'm not going to
wait an extra two hours to go on these roller coasters i want to be able to ride them five
times in the time it would take to wait in line once like what's the point of going to a place all day if i'm going to spend five hours
in line there is no point and just the feeling of elitism you get as you're in that special lane
and you know like the only people in there are like a kid with ms and you and you're just parading
up there and you're quicker than him so you jog around you're quicker than him, so you jog around. It's so great.
I'd never done that before anywhere with a significant amount of fun to do.
I'd only done that at Six Flags once.
Anyone listening, it's a must.
It's a must.
I won't go with cheap people.
I was going with my girlfriend once, and there was another couple going.
But leading up to it i was like let them know
we're getting the the fast passes and the vip bracelets and and and she she's like telling her
her friend and she's like ah mark doesn't know if he really wants to spend that much and i'm like
i'm not going then i'm not going i'm not gonna waste my time i'm not going either mark ponies
up the extra 85 or they can like watch us ride the thing three times or something like that.
Cause I refuse to fucking go if they don't pony up the extra $85 or whatever it is. And it might
be, it might've been more than that by the time you buy two tickets. I don't know. It's a, yeah,
that's what it was. I'm with you guys. I think you're right. The time that a non-insane person
might go the other direction is when like you're a dad you know
you're not having fucking fun anyway this whole experience is just going to be a dreadful walk
in the heat for you and you ask yourself do you want to pay double so these kids can take like
and you're just like fuck it no no i have i have just as much non-fun standing in lines as I do going on rides.
I don't know about that.
What's that comedian who has the joke where he's like,
remember when you were a kid going on vacation with your family
and you always looked up at dad and thought,
why is dad so stressed out?
When you have kids, you probably finally get it.
Don't touch that.
Don't do this.
Oh, thank God we're in line.
Okay, a little bit of time to not have to wrangle these kids six flags has um you know the drinks and stuff like there are just outrageous like food everything is um but they
have you know you usually go when it's just screaming hot and you're walking on asphalt
all fucking day and you're laughing and and yelling and stuff so you get thirsty they have an all you can drink frozen lemonade thing it comes in a big fucking cup and there
are pit stops all over the park to refill that fucking thing it's the greatest thing ever it's
like 12 it's like 12 you get the cup and it's full of lemonade but then you're just like so i
can refill this at any point i want oh yeah, yeah. Just stop. They see the cup. They'll refill it.
Oh, it's the greatest thing ever.
Fill it up.
Take a sip.
Pour it out.
You don't want to carry a full cup, right?
You're like, this thing is going to be.
I'm about to go on a ride.
That's enough for now.
Take a sip.
Can I have pink?
Can I have pink lemonade?
Oh, that's tart.
I went back to the other guy.
Something's wrong with your mixture, your mixology degree.
What's your name?
I also got the eat and drink all day pass for us because i was like i don't want to be you know
paying for something we plant we stayed there all day into the night and the thing had a stipulation
it was like eat as much as you want you get your entree and your side and your dessert if you want
it your drink but you can only do it once an hour and i was like hour? Who in God's name is getting a bacon cheeseburger,
fries, and a dessert, and a soda once an hour?
And as I was looking at the thing,
and I bought it the night before,
and then I arrived there,
and I immediately saw the people who are getting
a pizza outside, and a dessert, and a soda once an hour.
They're spending their entire time eating.
Do they find some way to lock you to the card?
Or could you, say, share the card?
No.
When you go through the checkout
area, you have to have one card
for you and one for whoever you're with.
Because they just zap that instead of charging you.
But you couldn't just hand it off
to another couple?
You could be the noon couple. They could be the 1pm lunch
couple.
Maybe they could, but i don't know anybody else here so i wasn't about to risk that with one of the many neck tattooed miscreants that i saw how cheap would you be how cheap would you
be in front of your new lady friend like all right i'll have lunch at 12 you have lunch at one and
we can save eight dollars and she's like oh i think there's a flight home tomorrow
i i this isn't a judgment on you because i don't even know how modern dating works
do you pay for everything is that how this goes that seems to be more and i'm sure kyle has plenty
to say as well it seems to be case to case uh most of the time i find the the girl wants to
buy for me at least occasionally and pretty often and this girl is wonderful so she's like every
other time we're pretty much every time trying to to buy it because i bought the plane tickets
down here and so she feels like she needs to really contribute to a lot of the dinners and
stuff and of course you know i let her because that's i mean it's courteous it's a nice thing to do so yeah that's pretty much what it is same experience kyle like if she offers
to pay her half you know and it's not the first date if it's the first date and i go to pay and
she says oh no i want to pay for mine if i feel like she's testing me i'll say sure if i feel
like she's being genuinely courteous with it i'll go no no no
please i insist and then i'll do it it just depends on the vibe you get no i just always
pay for everything always even with like they feel like they need to contribute some like into
they're going to contribute later well i mean that contribution goes without saying. Well, they're not going to like what's going to happen.
They think it goes without saying. You got to eat a cheap cheeseburger
once an hour with me,
so you better be ready.
How big are your pockets?
You don't need a cheeseburger in there?
Good, good.
Stuff them full, stuff them full.
Pretend like you dropped yours
and go back and ask for another now.
I think it was a bronx tale
that had the test where i could have the movie wrong but basically you let the girl in she sits
in the passenger seat and as you walk around to the driver's side if she reaches across and unlocks
your door then she's a keeper if she just sits there selfishly letting you handle it on your own
she's not a keeper now that test doesn't really
work anymore unless you drive like a 2003 toyota tacoma but for what you can get but uh there must
be like modern variants of that test that that you can use that must be i'll have to think but
yeah i've never seen a bronx tail that that's interesting good notice that same behavior of like even with other guys not just girls if they don't lean over and unlock
your car it's kind of like that i always do that it's just rude not to but yeah i i'm the only
person i know with a car where that's still a thing that can happen like you know mostly you
press the button on your key fob and all the doors unlock. Now they do. Or some of them you just walk close enough and it all unlocks.
Dude, my truck does.
I did not even.
There's a bunch of features in my new truck that I didn't know how much I wanted.
And that is one of the coolest.
It makes me feel privileged or special or something.
Like the truck is locked to everyone.
I've got this, I don't know, sensory detection key fob in my pocket.
And it's like, oh, Woody's coming.
When this guy touches the handle, it's time to unlock.
And it does.
It's really neat.
Yeah, it is.
The car I rented here, I think, or no, the car I have here doesn't do that.
I got, like, a Kia, or not Kia, Hyundai SUV.
I think a Santa Fe. I think a Santa Fe.
I think Hyundai Santa Fe.
It's all right.
Whatever.
They gave me a free upgrade at the Enterprise kiosk.
You're such a hot shot.
I know.
Just a boom, boom, boom.
It's because I'm so special.
It's not because they ran out of the car that I reserved.
I got an SUV.
This was like two years ago at one of Hope's speech and debate nationals.
And they're like calling out.
They're like, does anyone want a Ford Explorer?
No one's saying yes.
And we had to drive a long way.
Like our plane didn't go to the right airport.
It was such a pain in the ass.
So I've got like a six-hour drive that night.
I don't want an SUV and all the complexities that is.
It's a little harder to park and such.
Nobody would take it so i ended
up taking it just to cut in line i love them i love the explorers are nice i did like it it was
the first time i ever had ventilated seats which i was a fan of especially in california yeah i've
uh i think i've gotten the explorer like my last three rental cars i think have been explorers
maybe four i went i don't know i went to texas and i got a little piece of shit because it was
just me and i had to zip two hours back and or something like that but like if there's
people with me and luggage i get to explore i like it a lot and i guess a lot all the rental
places have it you probably like my truck it has a lot it's a f-150 oh yeah yeah for sure
i've rented one before that has that thing where you stick your foot under the back uh gate and it
lifts the the door
open for you. I've been trying to show
that off like, oh, you gotta see the cool
feature here. I'm like, try it. Doesn't
work. Try it. Doesn't work. Alright, I'll just
fucking open it. God damn it.
But the seats will vibrate when you get too close
to someone. Yeah.
It's kind of convenient.
My definition of too close does not match which is kind of convenient kind of uh my definition of too
close does not match apparently the accepted uh automobile standard because i'll be like i got
plenty of room and it's vibrating its ass off mine has collision avoidance and so far like so i've
tried to engage the collision avoidance on purpose and i'm on the opposite end of the spectrum as you in that, like, I'm like,
are you going to kick in? Are you going to seriously, are you helpful at all? And then
the times it does kick on, it's when someone's going to make a right and they're just not
completely out of the lane yet, but you can see it's going to be okay. And the car freaks out
like the steering wheel shakes, it makes beeping sounds, and there are these red LED lights that shine on the windshield in front of you.
And just the whole car is going bonkers.
And you're like, relax, bro truck.
It's all good.
He's making a right.
I used to think that a few days ago we went to Fort DeSoto, which is like a beach you can go to that's not as private as the other ones we've been going to, but it's still fun because they have
trails and shit where we actually saw cool, neat stuff.
And I remember as a kid
what I thought was
a little bullying with my brothers
running around, knocking them over or whatever
in the sand. They'd try and knock me over and all that.
Just having fun. I saw a level of bullying
between two kids on the sand
that... And their parents
were right there. i couldn't believe
what was happening the older brother had his younger brother on his back
like pinned him ufc style and was force feeding him sand
and i felt like i needed to get involved i didn't get involved but i'm like all right one fistful
of sand maybe it was an accident.
Maybe he was trying to, like, put a crab in his mouth or something gross.
But three fistfuls of sand, and this kid is coughing.
He's trying to get up.
He can't get up.
And then he goes, what was the kid's name?
Oh, shit.
It was not, like, I don't know the Florida Southern accent.
I'm sure Kyle knows it more, but, like, the Florida Southern accent is a little different.
Where he's like, Dixon, you stop putting putting saying your brother's mouth or like something along those
lines it was like god you should be standing up at least forcing sand into a child's this kid was
like five right like five years old like it no but the other kid was like 10 that's too much of a
difference to be doing that kind of behavior gotta be's got to be a lot bigger to feed them
sand. Yeah, just
take it.
Ah!
You can get a funnel out or anything. It's no big deal.
Ah, fair enough.
That's funny. Yeah, that
wouldn't fly in my house.
No, most homes
it wouldn't. I mean, the one I grew up in maybe i i was talking to jackie
about it recently you bet sand boss you show him what's what so either sand or their shoe
on the pka subreddit they were debating my parents and there were some fans of the show who were
saying that i had wonderful parents that i grew up in an upper middle class place in a safe town
and and you know boohoo everything was fine and, there were others who were like, you know,
his father was emotionally and physically unavailable and just absent all the time,
pressured him to succeed, made him feel like a loser to the point where he tried to kill himself
before he was 18 and his mother beat him with anything that was available. And I was like, huh,
I never thought of it quite like that. That does sound
like kind of... And I was talking to Jackie about how our kids get along. And a lot of it is to
Jackie's credit because they have to get along. There's rules. We are a family. We're on the same
team and they're required to get along. If for any moment it didn't seem like they were on the
same team, we'd be like, hey, that is your brother or your sister. You need to help this person.
And then I contrasted that with my house. I remember we were getting a coffee table
and my brother and I used to rough house a little bit, but my brother was older than me. So I would
get my ass kicked routinely. know like i lost he won
that's how that worked and uh she's like yeah you know i get it out of your system like kick his ass
until you tire of doing so because we're getting a coffee table tomorrow and i don't want you
roughhousing around it and i'm just just like, can I get a hand here?
You know, like, this is a terrible experience for me.
Yeah, you were neglected and abused as a child.
A little. If you explained it, I feel like, I mean, I feel like if you explained what happened to Woody as a child with a different person's name.
Like, if you're like, I know this kid, Brent, and his mom will take coat hangers and smack the shit out of him for like no reason.
Maybe he spilled something.
And then, you know, describe, you know, like the emotional, you know, neglect of the father.
And I feel like Woody would be like, yeah, that's pretty fucked.
That's not the way I raised my children at all.
Which it's pretty remarkable that you raise your children much better because usually people
take after their parents and perpetuate that so it's the way your family is because because like
my father grew up and was abused and neglected you know like and both of those things and and
he wanted to be sort of the opposite kind of parent he was always very very close with me like
like you know like when i was five you know he'd get he'd get
back home from working and and he'd come in my room and we i had all these little army men and
like my he-man soldiers and he'd set up like a huge fort of them and i'd set up a huge fort of
them and and we'd we'd fight with our army men and stuff like like and you know he was always there
like teaching me to play baseball and teaching me like like how to shoot and how to how to use bows
and arrows and put he put me on my on his shoulders like all play baseball and teaching me like, like how to shoot and how to, how to use bows and arrows and put,
he put me on my,
on his shoulders like all the time and take me on walks in the woods.
Like when I was like six,
you know,
like,
like he was super close with me and he always bought me cool shit.
You know,
like he wanted to give me stuff.
Cause like he was like,
I remember when I,
I remember Christmas when I was five and I got a box of crayons and we left
the crayons out on the deck and they melted and then dad and then dad beat
the shit out of me i was like oh that sounds like a great year well he died the next year so
so i didn't even get crayons
oh that sounds awful yeah you might be right maybe it is that you go
i wait i mean you always hear this you always hear the self-perpetuating thing
i've heard that too yeah i was gonna say taylor was right but maybe either can be i don't know
maybe there's no pattern and we're finding patterns that aren't there i think that that's
it honestly i i think that we we find those patterns there i think you get both i think
that some people are like have really terrible childhoods and they're like ah i have seen the the the you know one end of the spectrum i'm gonna make sure that i don't end up
like that i'm gonna provide the opposite end of the spectrum for for my kids or whatever but then
there's some people who like are broken perhaps by it or they used to accept it as well that's just
how it is you you think you're so so special Timmy? You know what things were like when I was growing up?
I'll show you.
Quack, quack, quack.
Give me the stiletto, Jim.
Quack, quack, quack.
This is how I was raised, and I turned out fine.
Ah!
That's sad.
I want to do a little bit of hockey talk.
Oh, yeah.
Kyle will even enjoy this.
Not the hockey win of the uh the caps
per se but i've never seen in my life a player as excited to win the stanley cup as alex ovechkin
and you know how they do raucous silly things with the cup he has been getting like blackout drunk all over the city of DC. Like he was swimming in a public fountain with the Stanley cup.
Uh,
he was doing keg stands with the Stanley cup in places where like,
it was clearly,
you can't drink here.
It's on the side of the road.
It's in a public park.
You can't do these things.
And he's,
he's going a Washington nationals game.
Yeah.
The nationals game.
He was like so drunk. He thought, like, filming him holding the cup,
but the play was still occurring.
And so you could just see in the picture, you know,
his own rented-out suite with the other players just pumping the Stanley Cup
up and down as nobody's paying attention.
Although, I guess the Nats aren't that great.
Or maybe they are.
I don't know.
I don't follow baseball.
Kyle would know better than me.
But, yeah, I'm really happy for them to win.
This season
couldn't have gone much better. It'd be nice
for me if the Flyers won the Cup.
But the Flyers made the playoffs.
Sorry, Taylor.
The Blues didn't, so we got a nice draft
pick out of it. Couldn't have gone much better there.
Couldn't have gone worse.
I like that Vegas made
the finals because Vegas in my opinion
has stepped up the production value
of the NHL
their pregame ceremonies
were incredible
everyone does these shitty pregame ceremonies
and there's national anthem or whatever
but to watch theirs
all of a sudden there's like
Las Vegas shows
short ones,
like before the game.
Penn and Teller were there.
Yeah, people who could sing.
I'm going to get that wrong, but like David.
Imagine Dragons.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
Imagine Dragons was there.
It was a non-hockey fan would be interested in the pomp and ceremony,
if I'm using that right, before the game started.
And I really like that.
I hope that other people, you know, next playoffs,
just increase the production value of what goes on around it.
I saw that chick shoe in her tits.
That was the best part of the entire NHL playoffs.
That was all that mattered.
I was a fan.
I tweeted that.
And then just to cap off the thought,
I'm glad Washington won because everybody wanted Ovechkin to get his cup.
He was one of the best players to have ever played without a cup, and now he got his win.
And he beat Sidney Crosby on the way through.
Obviously, he sucks.
So, yeah, it couldn't have gone much better.
I liked that.
I also liked seeing Oshie win, because even though it's a perpetual thing that players leave the Blues and then win the Stanley Cup somewhere else,
I didn't know that Oshie's dad has early onset Alzheimer's.
And so he gave like a really touching, you know, post-win interview of like, yeah, my dad, he really doesn't remember much anymore.
But this is something that he's going to remember.
No, it's not.
It's not how it works.
It's not how it works. It's not how it works.
It's something that he was...
It's my story.
I'll believe it as I want to.
You could put that Stanley Cup in his dad's kitchen,
and every morning he'd be like,
oh, what the hell is this doing here?
I have no idea.
Taylor was telling the things that Ovechkin's doing with it.
A neat thing about the cup is it sticks around.
So Ovechkin's name is on the
cup and next year like literally 75 years from now it'll that's about how long it takes for the
cup to you know to go through people will that cup will be a part of the story and they get to
make their own story i think it was the oilers who broke the cup they damn they partied so fucking
hard they dented the cup they took it
to an automobile repair shop like like a you know dent and scratch and dent auto paint job place
and like you know uh-oh better call mako and they like hammered the dent out of the stanley cup form
so they wouldn't get in trouble yeah it's and it's one dude uh uh lost it because every player on the team gets like a week with the
stanley cup over the summer and it was like maybe in like the 70s where some dude was like supposed
to hand it off to the next guy he's like about that i lost the stanley cup and they're like
you lost the stanley cup and he's like yeah but i'm like i'm like 60 sure where it is maybe you know and it's like oh yeah
well nobody would steal the stanley cop the oldest trophy in professional sports in the u.s like
it's cool i like the tradition i like the tradition and the like i like things that are a little worn
right it's i don't know i've got a couple scars on me that I think are part of my story. My paramotor is beat.
And yeah, of course it's beat, because I freaking fly the thing.
I've got a lot of things that have some wear on them
that I think are better because of that wear.
And that's how I look at the Stanley Cup, too.
And the mistakes on it, from, I guess, the 40s or 50s,
because they hammer and engrave the names of everyone who wanted in there,
at one
one year they couldn't find an o for people's names and so the guy who was doing it just goes
fuck it we'll use a q
is this a trophy or a sign outside a church
that's great just use the six as a g you know people will get
it people will get it shit uh with the stanley cup it's a lot it's it's just neat how much history
is on it yeah i agree i agree and then kyle did you watch the fc at all? Yeah, yeah. The whole CM Punk fight with Mike Jackson was my favorite.
Not because of the fight, really, but because of Dana White's reaction to the fight.
It was hilarious.
See, the UFC has something that no other sporting organization has.
We've talked about how it's cool that the fights happen, and you usually know who won and who lost you get almost although it was a little tight with the romero fight however dana white
speaks his mind in a way that no other sports owner or even team owner dare speak his mind so
so basically what happened is muted by comparison mark cuban will get fined the fuck out of mark
cuban if he said this about about one of his one of his players like so the
CM Punk guy is like a professional wrestling guy WWE who wants to like get into MMA he's had one
fight before it went poorly for him this is his second fight and for some reason they put it on
the pay-per-view he's like the the first fighter that on the pay-per-view card and he's fighting
this guy named Mike Jackson this black guy who's also oh and one in
the ufc but has a much better pedigree and is a an okay fighter he he's the worst fighter in the
ufc so i'm not an expert on i didn't really know this guy beforehand but everyone says cm punk is
finally in a match where maybe he has a shot you know because because this other guy in the ufc could beat up a wwe star it is it's
what we found out yeah and uh and so that's what happened but mike jackson is showboating the whole
fight he's being a real scumbag about about pummeling cm fake cm punk's face in to the
point where he has to get a facial ct scan but he didn't finish the fight and dana white really let
him have it in the post-fight
interviews. He's just like, I don't know what that guy
was doing before he was fighting, but
he needs to go back to that now.
He fired both of them.
CM Punk, by the way, CM stands for Chick Magnet.
CM Punk got fired
because he's 0-2 now and you can't start
off a UFC career like that. The other guy
is now 1-1.
And Dana White is like, you know what?
You suck too.
You're fired as well.
As far as I'm concerned, you're 0-2.
That's a quote.
As far as I'm concerned, that guy's 0-2 also.
And they're both kicked out of the UFC for sucking too hard.
So just to catch me off the bat, what was it about this fight that he was so livid about?
He was showboating, not finishing the fight, just being silly, dancing around, using silly punches, just kind of being an asshole. Not taking it seriously.
Exactly, yeah.
And meanwhile, people are paying to watch this fight.
They're not paying to watch his antics.
Were people booing in the crowd?
Like, what the fuck?
This isn't WWE.
I think CM Punk had a home crowd.
Now, I didn't actually see this one.
I only saw the prelims
because it was at my mother-in-law's
and it's hard to see.
But I think CM Punk had a home crowd.
Well, that sounds pretty funny.
I'll have to look that up on YouTube.
I do like that about Dana White more than commissioners of other leagues. they would probably well that sounds pretty funny i'll have to look that up on youtube yeah i do
like that about uh dana white more than commissioners of other leagues where no matter
how ridiculous it is i think even gary bettman of the nhl when brad marchand licked the face
had to be like you know that's there's no need for that here and we'll be thinking about what
to say to him whereas like dana white would have been like no you can't there's no need for that here, and we'll be thinking about what to say to him. Whereas
Dana White would have been like, no, you
can't lick people's lips and face
and nose in the middle of a playoff game.
You're out. I like
that about him. It seems like he's the king.
I love that he fired both of them.
No eye gouging,
no groin shots, no licking, god damn it.
I want to see the Cleveland
Browns play the Houston Texans,
and then for the commissioner to be like, you know what?
They're both fired.
This is ridiculous.
You're done.
How many more years must I suffer the Bills?
No more.
The Bills made the playoffs, I think.
Oh, they may have, but I don't follow the NFL.
I didn't even follow them when the Rams were here. Yeah, it was an interesting night of fights, I think. Oh, they may have, but I don't follow the NFL. I didn't even follow them when the Rams were here.
Yeah, it was an interesting night of fights,
I guess, but Dana White, as always,
is the most interesting thing. Holly Holm
won her fight, which is good, because she had
lost, like, four
in a row or something? I don't know.
There's the queen bee of women
UFC now.
Well, there's
Rose in her weight class.
She's the champ of her weight class
now after defending her belt against
the person she took it from.
And I'm spacing out on
the Brazilian badass. His name is Nunez.
Nunez.
And then Cyborg is the
145-pound champ. But there seems to be only
one fighter in that division.
Everyone else realizes Cyborg fighter in that division because every everyone
else realizes cyborg is in that division and they'll take their title shot and then never fight
in there again yeah what's the heaviest uh 145 yeah cyborg is the is the biggest baddest woman
how long until they have to ratchet that up or will they ever i it that person might have been born at this point but but they're
somewhere terrorizing a japanese village right now they're not concerned with the ufc i see it
playing out like this uh cyborg will eventually either retire that won't be soon though or more
likely she'll get busted for steroids and then that will just end that whole division she said she was right uh she got
busted for um um a diuretic that's banned which is usually used to like get steroids out of your
system and then there was a lot of controversy over where how she got that in her system it's
but they've never popped her for like testosterone or something like that i remember it differently
like the more recent one she got busted for something
that also has a use in birth control and she said that that's why she was taking it it had to do
with that and then previously before the ufc i think she was straight up busted for roids
am i wrong about that i could the birth control excuse actually makes sense. Like some progesterone
or something. They always make sense.
Yeah,
the person who concocts the excuse
usually knows what they're doing.
Yeah, they hire an attorney to help
them create their excuse.
Professional excuse maker
comes in and, well, that makes sense.
It's supposed to.
We spent many hours they pay me 700 an hour to make excuses it's like if you ever uh if you're ever drunk driving here's what you do if you're
drunk driving right you flee the scene if you have a crash you flee the scene immediately and you head
to a bar and you start drinking because the penalty for leaving the scene of an accident
is quite minor however the penalty for drunk driving and hitting someone is rather severe so
i've never heard that before that makes a lot of sense absolutely it does so you just pull in
your car's triple parked you're just getting tanked. Smoking.
Yes.
And when, you know, the cops inevitably come, you're like,
look, I definitely hit those people
back there, and I was so shaken up by it,
I had to head on over to Ted's
bar and have a few. Just ask
Ted. Miss Bartender, or
Ted, how many drinks has this person had?
Well, he ordered a Bud Light three minutes
ago, and then you arrived.
Damn it, I've been foiled.'d you find me well the trail of blood left by the person stuck in your fucking axle that guy in your
grill texted us yeah but that is is in many many states that's
the deal that it's a much more serious crime to have been drunk driving especially if you hit
someone than it is to just leave the scene of an accident so that's what john jones did right
he hit someone while doing cocaine and uh and have and god knows what he had in the car he fled the fucking scene
went to a cocaine bar i looked up cyborgs uh drugs so the first time she was busted it was
a straight up steroid it's called stanilozol or something like that but it's an antibiotic
steroid guilty the second time they didn't reveal the name of it but they said that it helps her
recover from her weight cut after a fight so i and i don't i can't go any further i don't know
what it's called it's hard to research past that but so big and ugly you know if she were big and
pretty i think we'd let it slide be like oh come on look. Look how good she is, though. But she's just a big
oaf of a woman
who's just disgusting to look at.
And so we're just like, stop beating up
those little girls!
You're right, but
there's a certain kind of ugly that
you get from the steroids, too,
though. And from getting punched
in the face for a decade.
For a living, yeah. I hear you, but Ronda rousey's not ugly uh none i can't think of another girl amanda nunez
is not a looker but i don't look at it oh there's the 135 pound champ oh yeah yeah yeah her and her
girlfriend they're both cute yeah okay to me i don't find her to be really a looker but she's a normal looking regular in shape athlete you know like she's fine but uh cyborg man she looks
like fucking jigsaw that she's so ugly and i i think it's i think her bones grew in a weird way
from the drug abuse it's not like a human being anymore.
Yeah.
Fuck her.
I don't care about Cyborg.
I wish someone would beat her up.
I wish they'd make her fight a man.
Everyone else who fights her has to fight her, man.
Put CM Punk in against her.
That's the fight.
That's brilliant, Kyle.
You know what?
Pitch it to Dana.
He does shit.
You know who would do it? It's not Strikeforce. What know what? Pitch it to Dana. He does shit.
You know who would do it?
It's not Strikeforce.
What are they called?
Bellator.
The Utah Bare Knuckle Boxing League.
Bellator.
For people who don't pay attention to MMA very much,
Bellator does what they call freak shows where they'll take people from different weight classes
and put them together a lot.
They'll take giant people.
They're the ones who had Kimbo Slice fight Dada. apparently on the streets of miami that's a well-known feud so
they're like fuck it we'll put them both in bellator and see how it goes right they were in
such bad shape one almost died almost from exhaustion right he was so tired the winner
didn't even like the guy didn't go down from a punch. He got punched, and then, like, five, ten seconds later, just laid down.
He was just so tired.
And, look, I thought I'd be at least as exhausted.
I might not make the third round against Kimbo, but I certainly wouldn't.
But the point is, they're a Bellator.
If you scheduled a fight to fight Kimbo, though, you would be.
You'd have been on a bike.
You'd have been running five miles a day for weeks now.
Right?
You'd been eating right.
You'd had a dietician in your life.
You'd be like, look, I'm going to get my ass beat, but I'm not going to beat myself.
He's going to have to beat me.
He's going to have to beat me.
There's going to be 80,000 people watching live and another 2 million around the world are going to end up seeing this.
What's Kyle going to say on Monday?
Yeah, I'd get in shape.
I'm looking at pictures of Dada 5000 right now.
I believe I could fuck this man's belly button.
So, shifting topics just a. Ooh. So, shifting
topics just a little bit.
No, let's stick with this.
It turned out that
Ice Poseidon had been lying this whole time
about having broken up with his girlfriend
Caroline. Coraline?
Whatever. They call her the space alien.
Who everyone hates.
And hated. And he just
fake broken up with her um and sort of like
kept her out of his stream well that all fell apart and uh as a self uh sort of flagellation
he shaved his head on on stream the other day not a good look oh but i i oh i need to see a picture of this. There you go, dude.
There's some greatness to it, though.
I saw someone on the Ice Poseidon subreddit was like, hey, I was a drug addict.
I didn't really have my act together.
I didn't know what was going on.
I got into heroin.
I got into meth.
And now look at me.
I got my life together.
So they took his current picture and made it the before.
And they took his bodybuilding shot and made it the after.
And Reddit was just like, congratulations.
Good for you.
You really cleaned things up.
Oh, that's great.
Oh, that's great.
Wait, wait, wait.
How is he faking having broke up with his girlfriend because i'm almost
positive that he like he was flirting with girls and like trying to get with girls throughout his
streams for sure yeah apparently he was not faithful to her he was just still fucking her
i don't know you kids and your modern relationships are very confusing to me. But yeah, I guess
that's the deal. He was just...
He likes her.
It seems like Ice on his subreddit with his fans
goes from like... Because the last time I went over there
was during his RV trip and everyone was like
King of content!
And it was him sitting there with his cigar picture
looking all badass.
So if I were to go over there now, would they be
like just tearing
into him yeah yeah they've got him looking like a like a jew troll you know with like pimples on
his face i've seen that one where they photoshop his nose into like a two-pants beak here's what
gets me it so look i don't know if i i can't tell if they're hate for Ice. A lot of it is just for the memes.
I think there's a portion of it that is just for the memes though, right?
Some of them aren't genuinely mad and they're ready to forgive him as soon as he does something
fun enough, right?
And then some of them might be genuinely mad, but what shocks me is they seem to be mad
that he's bad, right?
They're like, all this time ice was being
dishonest with us hump you know or like can you believe that this guy cheated on his girlfriend
he's bad and i'm like oh my god who did you think you were watching all this time
he has like vulnerable people bobbing for apples and questionable liquids you know you thought he
was good all this time i'm starting to think he's not as principled as we were led to believe thank
you that's what i'm looking for yeah that's their argument and i'm like this is this is the show
that ice puts on that's welcome to the ice poseidon poseidon live stream he doesn't does he's never been pretending to be a good guy
he's just king of content what's his flavor of the week right now is he still doing an rv thing is he
i saw something about him buying a house or renting a house with someone yeah he was looking
to rent a house in florida and do like a streamer house for a couple weeks uh like looking to get a
place that was like 250 that was like $1,200 a night
or $2,500 a night or something crazy like that
and then to split it with five or six other YouTubers
or streamers or something like that.
It's a good idea.
That'd be crazy.
It'd be a fun thing to do.
He invited only USB Blade.
Yeah.
Oh, neat.
Is he going to go?
I haven't heard anything about that no that he'd he'd have to
come up with 300 a night blade well they're all gonna be making oh that might be a really good
investment well it's hard to say ice's star is not at its shiniest right now well ice would be fine
it's just it's always a question of the people if the people with ice are going to be if their
streams are going to do as well are well enough for them to afford that 250 300 a night or whatever or if
they're going to lose money and if they're going to stream the whole time it just depends who's
with him i'll tell you this leeches made it quite a bit some of them do i mean some of them have
their own little streaming careers now out of it like but but some of them not so much
no kyle was about to say i'll say this i i believe
that blade would do well in ice's universe i think that uh the fans would like him i think
blade is very likable and that if he were to roll the dice on this he would come up a winner
i think so when he's getting it when he was getting his head shaved um i don't know the
guy who was shaving his head but ice is sitting in a chair on stream and he was getting his head shaved. I don't know the guy who was shaving his head, but Ice is sitting in a chair on stream,
and he starts shaving his head just with, you know,
clippers with no guard.
And he's like, oh, your head's so dirty.
Oh, there's so much.
What is that?
Oh, there's so much loose, flaky skin all over it.
You've got to wash, dude.
You've got to wash.
And Ice just keeps going, it's i just keeps going it's not that dirty
the guy like smells he's like oh that's terrible like like his head was just covered with like a
flaky dandruff skin that like like if you ran your fingernails over it like it'd just be
popping off from like shooting everywhere because he doesn't walk he doesn't ever shampoo his goddamn head it was super gross it was super gross oh that's
it's hard to tell where the truth begins and ends in the ice poseidon world right like remember when
he was on our show and he's like i don't really care about the girls i just want to get my nut
off you know i just fuck them i just blow in their mouth as fast as i can get my nut off
that's what i'm there for like it seemed like kind of a bit right no that's him like like he's he's
he said recently he's like i don't i don't even like pussy it stinks uh it's messy it's it's gross
like like i just want to blow job and get my nut and that's it
like that's i don't think we're getting too much like he's acting silly and everything but like a
lot of the stuff he says is just you know the shitting blood he shits blood chis was saying
like he's talked to him behind the scenes and you know he finds a businessman back there who
knows what he's doing and a lot of it is an act but then a lot of it seems like it's not you
know so much an act all the time i have a hard time telling that's that's a bit of an act you
know the silliness and the the rambunctiousness and and stuff like that like he's he's not insane
like if you talk to him behind the scenes he's certainly a normal ish guy dumb it seems yeah
exactly but he's also a person who doesn't bathe himself or brush his teeth and shits blood.
Like he'll have to poop, but he just won't.
We all have our quirks.
He shits like once every five or six days.
So he talks about how hard his shits are and how the blood...
That can't be true.
I used to do that as a kid.
Shitting once every five or six days?
That would be a stretch.
Say three to five days. Let's examine
why did you do that?
I don't know. It was just fine with me.
I was just fine with it. And I've told this story before.
I went on a whitewater
rafting trip. At the beginning
of the trip, they explained that
if you need to poop on his, this
is a bucket uh it was a
like a drywall five gallon bucket you know where the mud would be in and uh they're like you poop
in this bucket and then you take it to the the colorado river and you clean out the bucket and
it's ready for the next person that's that was the procedure i think in the 90s and uh i was like
huh well if i routinely go five days without shooting, I can go seven and did.
I just.
Was there ever a point where.
I'm just wondering the psychology of not of not pooping.
I always poop once a day, every day.
And so something must have happened to you that you were going five days.
I feel like maybe you had a poop accident or like you pooped on a toilet seat or something and you were going five days. I feel like maybe you had a poop accident or you pooped on a toilet seat or something
and you were beaten.
And then from then on,
you were afraid to poop
or pooping became a bad thing in your head.
I don't know.
A dirty thing.
I have told the story
where my mom beat the shit out of me, right?
I've told it on this show.
Maybe it doesn't ring a bell.
No.
I was beaten for some
other reason i can't recall what it was and uh yeah and my bed was in the corner of my room
and as i remember right between the wall and the bed made its own corner so i'm in that corner
cowering cowering as she beat me and, and as she's beating me, I shit myself.
And my thought process was, oh no, like this is just going to get me beat even more.
But that's not what happened.
What happened was I, it stopped the beating.
She had empathy for this.
And, and she was like, well, if anything, wouldn't that make me a happy pooper?
No, this would associate pooping with –
Mom, I've got to poop!
Oh, damn it.
He found my Achilles heel.
Now, prior to this – so I can only believe that it was after this incident that you began this cycle of only pooping once a week
because maybe you were saving the poop like a like a bubble shield in halo right
that you could just roll out anytime you were you were you were being disciplined
i was a very bad kid i deserved all these beating beatings. Maybe you're right. I don't really recall
when it began. It was just one of my superpowers.
I would love to have you see a therapist. Especially a hypnotherapist
because God knows what they find.
They take you back to your childhood
bedroom. What do you see?
There's a little boy. He's crying.
Stiletto holes
are surrounding him in the drywall.
There's shit everywhere.
A window scraper
lodged above my head.
Mere inches.
The window
scraper is one of my least favorite beatings it wasn't a window scraper
it was like a dozen of them held together with a rubber band yeah like what a real estate agent
has with like her contact info that's exactly it yeah she was a real estate agent and that's why
she had them yeah that's it yeah that one i really didn't like i i didn't do my homework
and uh the teacher brought in my mother to talk to her, you know,
so she could not have me as the level of, like, I don't know,
misinformation between them.
Like, oh, yeah, the teacher says I don't do my homework,
and it's okay with her.
So she brought in my mother, talked to her directly.
And then it was after school that my mom got there.
She had, like, a prime parking spot.
It wasn't out in the back.
So we're like across the street from the, across the one lane of parking, if that makes any sense.
You're right in front of the front doors of the school.
And everything had been going okay.
You know, my mom was thanking my teacher.
They both seemed pretty civil, right?
They were both under control
and both of them kind of on my team
to help me be a better student.
And then the second I shut that fucking car door,
she's there with all these goddamn window scrapers
just beating the fuck out of me
for making her look like a bad mom.
And I was like, mom, it's not you, it's me.
I'm the one not doing my homework and
no one thinks less of you that uh i didn't like that beating yeah it's not like the breakup speech
it's not you just put the window scrapers down yeah oh man you could have at least taken one out
and use that instead of the whole bundle yeah you know you know, I'm on your team with that.
That would have been a better, by my measure, beating.
Beat your children sensibly.
One thing I've heard, no, I've never hit my kids.
I have made them cry, but I can do it with words, so I never felt the need to hit them.
But I saw a sign on a retail retail store like in the boardwalk or something
and uh it said never beat your children without the end in sight and it was kind of a double
entendre but not dirty you know i think that basically it says hit their hiney but also
you know have like a a plan be in control of yourself. Don't be beating your children out of rage.
Yeah.
Right.
And I think the picture had, you know,
a red bottom or something on it.
And I was like, ah, yeah, I wish my mom did that.
I wish she only beat us when, like, I don't know.
Yeah, when she had like a cool down.
The one, two, three owl in the Tootsie Roll kind of beating,
you know, like instead just, rabid mom.
Just feverishly beating the shit out of you in a parking lot.
You're making me look like a bad mother!
I'm so sorry, mom, that I trespassed on you.
You can't be my transcription.
Here on this link here, there's several techniques that abusers use to trivialize
There are two these are gaslighting techniques that an abusive partner might use
Withholding the abusive partner pretends not to understand or refuses to listen example
I don't want to hear this again
Or you're just trying to confuse me countering the abusive partner questions the memory of the events, even when the victim remembers them accurately.
Blocking or diverting, the abusive
partner changes the subject and or the questions
the victim's thoughts.
Trivializing, the abusive
partner makes the victim's needs or feelings
seem unimportant. And of course,
forgetting slash denial, the abusive
partner pretends to have forgotten
what actually occurred or denies things like
promises made to the victim. Any of sounding actually i was expecting one of these to really
nail it but no i don't know if these are right you were a bad kid i wonder if you brought up
specific results if specific incidents of beatings if she would implement some of these techniques she did tell me like she's like make sure that they know that you were bad my wife did not like
that no i don't like it either because i don't like that either nobody does unless you're damien
like you're literally the son of satan and you're like now that we're home mother you get to see
the real me like unless you're like self-aware of your of your evilness like then there's no
there's there's no badness you're just you know you need some you're just a kid parenting
some guidance maybe a long talk while we and then we go get ice cream after
yeah that's not how we did it.
Not beating the literal shit out of people.
Jesus Christ.
The literal shit.
That's rough.
I knew there had to be some kind of psychosomatic reason for someone only shitting once a week.
Well, he poops more than once a week now.
Yes, I am. I don't mean to brag but
i'm pretty regular except when he visits when his when his mom comes over goes a whole week
and it's two weeks before you have to save it like a bubble shield kyle yeah plan ahead would you
like are you ever afraid that even today
that if things got a little bit heated
between the two of you, if you were like,
no, Mom, that was wrong what you did,
she'd start laying into you again?
No. Those days
are done. She's 70, Kyle.
She's 70.
Yeah.
It's okay.
Fair enough.
You ever seen Misery
I have
My mom's prettier than that woman
But she used to be told that she looked like her
All the time when that movie was fresh
No wonder she was mad
Yeah
Alright
PKN episode 199
Be thankful
Yeah