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All right, Painkiller Nearly, episode 213.
Kyle was just telling us about some mouth-fucking.
Yeah, mouth-fucking.
I hadn't heard the story.
Can you help us catch up?
I just, you know, I like the disparity that sometimes you see in the media,
depending on whether it's a conservative figure who's being found out, rightfully so,
or if it's a liberal figure, right?
So, like, when the guy from fox news got found out to be a
sexual harasser which one um the the one who like ran a good point good point bill o'reilly or the
the top guy okay yeah top guy uh he you know demonized everywhere right like all the ladies
talk shows of course the view and the talk you know throwing him under the bus rightfully so
rightfully so roger ailes nailed it yeah and uh and now we
have a more of a left-wing figure who has been out and that's les moonves the guy who uh was the
former because they just fired him president of i'll probably fuck this up i think it's cbs but
it could be abc i don't watch regular television it's a cbs yeah you. Guy who was making over half a billion dollars a year in salary.
A year?
A year.
Wow.
It was either $450 million a year or $550 million a year.
It was one of those.
Imagine one year like that.
Carry on with your story.
He's been doing that since like 2006.
Give me a month and my life is taken care of.
A week?
I could live off a month's salary.
A week?
Yeah, a week.
He's been making that money for the last 12 years and prior to that he was making plenty before that of course
he sticks his wife julie chan and anything and every project he can she's the host of um
big brother she's one of the hosts of the talk which is a competitor to the view you know one
of those ladies talk shows yes just to paint a picture, is his wife way hotter than him?
She's a young, pretty Asian lady.
I think he's like 70 and she's
more like...
She's 48.
Roger Sterling? Who is the Clippers owner?
We're talking about Les Moonves.
Oh, the former Clippers owner?
The guy who was like... Sterling, that sounds right.
I'm going for the beauty disparity.
It's kind of one of those things. Well, it turned out that he's guy who was like sterling that sounds right yeah i'm going for the beauty disparity all right it's
kind of one of those things okay well it turned out that he's a serial uh sexual harasser like a
guy with like an actual sickness this isn't like sometimes you hear about these guys and you're
like well that's a horny man who overstepped the line big time but in this guy's case it sounds
like he has a sickness this guy's it is virgin in his office uh i don't
know about that but he was using his power of course to mouth subordinates and uh these some
of these subordinates have come forward yet like yeah he mouth fucked me and then and then i went
to my office and i vomited and then like like he was dealing with like a female doctor and uh like
like like coming on to her and she put it she's like trying to put a note in his chart. Figuratively in this situation, right?
And literally.
Yeah, exactly.
So he's been found out big time with many, many of these instances of him being a sexual attacker.
Are you being a little hyperbolic with the mouth fuckery?
Or is that like the woman who was like, hey, fuck my mouth.
Yeah, yeah.
They talk about how aggressive he is and how he forces their heads down and that sort of thing.
And Woody's like, yeah, that sounds about right.
Not everything you do is going to be your favorite thing.
Let them know, Kyle.
You're like, Daniel's salary is competing
with the GDP of small Eastern European nations.
In your head, you're like,
I could fuck somebody's mouth.
What are you going to do?
Oh, you're going to put it on the news?
I own CBS, idiot.
I know everybody in this
whole industry you're not getting to me i he does know everybody in the industry and that's telling
that's showing right now because the emmys were the other night right he was uninvited to the
emmys uh like 24 hours before however you can bet that in the midst of this me too uh movement
those we've seen how celebrities treat often their acceptance speeches, right?
They use that to zero in on these types of instances.
Not a mention of this guy who's the president of one of the major networks throughout the whole night with all of these females getting up there and winning awards from his own network, in fact.
Nobody says a word the whole night.
I wonder why. You go over to the talk
because i love saying like so you're saying like hey it's because he's left wing i think taylor's
onto something because weinstein got mentioned left and right right cosby got riffed only once
it was safe though nobody fucking said a word about weinstein for decades until it was totally
safe and then they're like I've known the whole time.
Hey, I've known for 20 years.
Like, why didn't you say anything?
Well, he knew for 20 years too.
Yeah, I think you're right.
I would argue that some of them jumped on.
There was a second and a third person to jump on and it wasn't safe yet.
Right.
So there were, I want to say there was more than one brave woman, but whoever was ninth,
like we know what the scoop there was.
Yeah.
I'm on Taylor's team with that.
But yeah, sometimes they get ripped on.
I'm totally out of the loop on this story.
I've been following the Kavanaugh one, though.
Just to finish, Julie Chin didn't show up on the premiere of the show.
And then she just retired.
She's like, you know what?
I'm not going to be on the show anymore.
She quits the show.
And it's been very interesting to watch that whole thing play out and how it's how it's been treated
I mostly hear about it when I I've got I've got a
my car is a lot of like favorite stations and one of the groups of six because they're grouped in like five groups of six is
All news and it go at one. It's super conservative. It's the Patriot and then I listen to that sometimes
It's Fox News and then two is Fox News.
And then three is Fox News Business.
And then it goes like CNN, CNN Headline News, MSNBC.
So I get the full gamut of like from conservative to liberal, the higher I scroll up.
And as I was scrolling up, it was like Les Moonves.
Les Moonves.
Les Moonves.
Kavanaugh.
Kavanaugh.
Kavanaugh.
And I was like, oh, shit.
Okay.
All right. What's going on? And I was like, oh, shit. Okay. All right.
What's going on?
We're always going to do that shit.
Yeah.
And I feel like there's a certain point here.
So I follow a lot of news.
And not just like Kyle.
I'm on both ends of the spectrum.
And I haven't heard anything about Les Moonves.
Is that his name?
Mm-hmm.
Well, I've heard his name before.
I've heard the tiniest amount.
You know, that's not the story that's in my little...
Not even enough to know who he is or what he did
until, like, you look into it.
Right.
Like, his name looks like a French play.
Like, Les Moonves.
It's like, what's that supposed to mean?
Is it still escalating?
Is there a chance he's not guilty?
Is there a chance...
Here's the one I don't like.
Now, I'm not saying Les Moonves,
but, like like the hype.
Matt Lauer is a better example.
There are women getting ahead by fucking Matt Lauer.
You know, Taylor brought up the lock.
Dude, apparently they all had locks on their doors that you could remote access from your desk.
That was like a VIP thing that, you know, it wasn't just Matt Lauer.
There was like a whole suite of offices.
So when she's like, he locked it from his desk.
Yeah, because you fuck him all the
time in his office like that's that's how you got your career and like mika from msnbc i forget her
last name but she was like krasinski krasinski something okay she's like i lose out jobs to
people like this because i don't do that and i i don't get ahead you know it's hurt my career
they're playing a game that i'm not playing and it's like yeah they're they're hotter than you too
but but um you know so like there's two sides to some of these stories and there's one side to some
of them too I don't know where I'm totally out of the loop on West Moonves but I I look forward
to checking it out the Kavanaugh thing is super interesting.
So let me lay out the Kavanaugh
thing as unbiased as I know how to.
This guy was going to be a Supreme
Court justice. If you're not American, these guys get
lifetime appointments, and it's very important.
Nine people make up an entire
arm of the federal government in America,
and they can't lose
their jobs. And it didn't used to matter
as much until people of both parties started using them
to like pass down edicts instead of using them to review existing law where they do
things like, Oh, well, Supreme court says gay marriage is legal everywhere.
It's like the Supreme court didn't use to do things like that.
They didn't use to like, and so now it's way like the judicial system or branch rather
is so much more powerful than it should be.
And so that's why this matters even more.
Okay, so this guy's got what we've established.
Super important position in the United States government he's going for.
And he was, the Democrats didn't like him, but the real reason they didn't like him had to do with abortion, not his qualifications or who he was as a man, mostly.
Also, apparently he's prone to thinking that Trump can't be prosecuted so that's on the liberal radar on the conservative side it's uh indicted
not prosecuted right uh i'm sure you're right yeah yeah during his presidency yeah during the
presidency they think that the he thinks the president shouldn't be bothered with
pretty much any law i'm sure it's not any law but most laws for that but yeah on both sides and uh
um but you know otherwise he gets burdened with little stuff anyway.
So those are the reason liberals don't like him.
The Republicans like him because he's pro-life.
He's conservative and he's very smart.
He checks all the qualifications boxes.
Anyway, this woman accuses him of a near rape scenario where he locks the door behind her he and a buddy hold her down cover her mouth so she can't scream turn the music up and force himself on her she
worried she died and i want to circle back to her description of the events she worried that she was
going to die or be raped and she says she like kicked herself free and escaped and I think cried in the bathroom
or something like that.
Apparently, it's not just as out of the blue as it seems.
She had talked to therapists about it and her husband in both 2002 and 2012.
There are some written notes way back from 2012.
But if I can interject, there's no specific details corroborating it and there's no name given in any yeah so so apparently she
said the name in the couples therapy but the psychologist psychiatrist didn't write down
the name of the accuser and um uh but anyway there's a history there of her pretty much
dealing with this for a long time.
We're going back at least 16 years on this thing.
So anyway, those are the kind of – oh, and to his side, he says, I don't even know this woman.
He came out with – that was his today's thing.
At first, he's like, this never happened.
So I didn't even know who was accusing me because I have no idea of what this could be from.
And then today he literally says, I don't know this person.
Now, they went to high school together, but that doesn't necessarily mean you know her.
There are people in my high school that I don't know.
It's also important to put in the details surrounding it.
So she's like a pussy hat, very active person on the Democrat side. She donates
to the DNC. She's very pro-Hillary. And also, she can't name the place, any of the people who were
there, the time, even the year that it happened. The details are so specious in it, and the timing
is so perfect. Like Feinstein, Dianne Feinstein, sat on this info for two months at least.
Sat on it, didn't say anything.
Didn't even bring it up in the interview with Kavanaugh recently.
Waited until after that and then drops it in a very tactical news bomb kind of way.
And then Feinstein disappears.
Are you sure Feinstein dropped it?
I'm positive.
She's definitely the one who did it.
Okay.
It was leaked through her.
She was the one who knew all that shit.
I thought it came from some other source.
And she, well, the woman even said that she sent it to the Feinstein camp.
She kind of got it through that way.
So it's my understanding, I'm not sure on this,
that Feinstein sat on it and almost buried it
and someone else leaked it to the press.
No.
Oh, that's not right you say?
She had it for six weeks and she waited until the most opportune political moment to leak it to the press. No. Oh, that's not right you say? She had it for six weeks, and she waited until the most opportune political moment to leak it to the press.
Okay.
And, of course, she does it after that interview so that the Senate can't hit him then, and then he can give his side of the story.
She releases it at an opportune time to let the media roll and boil with it and turn it into a big to-do.
Like, usually I look at these situations and I try to be more unbiased.
I don't believe this for a second.
I don't believe any of this happened.
It is way too convenient.
It's way too opportunistic.
You think she's been planning this for 16 years?
No, no, not at all.
But I think that it's probably someone who did have something bad happen to them
now using it in
a way that is politically advantageous there's no evidence that shows kavanaugh did anything and if
our new position is hey a totally unfa unfalsifiable baseless accusation that shows up at the last
second to someone with a crystal clean record of things like this that's enough to just get you
done yeah is that the world we want
to go to because it's gonna and like it's different on both sides because like the mainstream media is
overwhelmingly liberal and so it's a much more useful strategy to attack a right-wing person
with this because then abc cbs nbc msnbc cnn, NYT, WashPo, all of them will attack.
Whereas if people on the right go, hey, Bob Menendez, there was a – he's accused of sleeping with underage prostitutes.
Anybody? Anybody? Only Fox talking about it?
Okay, well, I guess that's not a targeted attack.
Hey, this other Democrat did something shitty.
Keith Ellison accused of domestic abuse twice with some audio recordings in the last six weeks. No, nothing, because there's not enough
critical mass. And so it's a little more frustrating, I think, for people on the right to
see this, because it's like, well, of course you guys enjoy this more, because you have the engine
behind you that really makes these things punch in a way that the right wing just doesn't have
the media presence to. Yeah, so to me, the right wing has a very strong media presence.
I see it, and sometimes it's very false.
I think I'll concede if Feinstein did what you said, then she's playing politics with
this, right?
Undoubtedly, she's playing politics with the timing.
The Republicans play politics, too.
You know, Merrick Garland was absolute bullshit, right, when they denied Obama even a vote
on his suggestion.
absolute bullshit right when they denied obama even a vote on his suggestion and uh and i remember at the time you commented well you know it's their job to do whatever they can do to get their side
to be as strong as possible even if it's what to me feels like dirty tricks so doing something
legal like that which is what they did to block Garland, is not the same as... To falsify a report about someone committing attempted rape,
that's absolutely illegal.
The timing, I was saying, is not illegal.
That's just playing politics and kind of bullshit,
but the way that people play...
Well, that you don't know.
That you've invented on your own.
She's definitely talked to her therapist about this in 2012,
and then again in 2016.
She's got the details outlined on this.
She said that it was Kavanaugh.
Her husband knows that it was Kavanaugh.
And character attacks aside about whether she wears a pussy hat,
that I haven't heard anywhere aside from you.
I've heard that too.
She's definitely the women's boss.
Donated to the DNC.
Well, the whole point is you have to look at context of these things like she clearly has a major bias and she has a story that can be used to
damage someone at the crux of importance of their career she gave that story months ago right when
it first started and i can imagine a world where this happens too where it's like man i struggle
with this but i don't want to ruin my life over this is a very powerful person and then i see this
guy going for president
or Supreme Court justice or whatever and say,
alright, I can't bite my tongue anymore.
This would be a tragedy, a travesty.
We'll see if she testifies
because right now she hasn't agreed to.
I think you might be out of
date. As of three
hours ago, she had not. Really?
Last night I heard her attorney say that she...
Yeah, they said they would and then they said they wouldn't and i don't know if they've switched back on that yet
okay i don't know okay yeah because yeah last i heard she was going to testify and um and you
know she wanted to come forward anonymously and then she stopped being anonymous so that's a thing
maybe that's why now i'm giving fine sign too much benefit doubt she's a politician
i was going to say maybe she didn't bring it forward because it was anonymous bullshit from
35 years ago and that's another thing i wanted to bring so here's a here's a thing i'm yeah i
let's assume now let's let's pretend in the hypothetical that her story's half true, right? I have this own incident from my own background, right?
So I like this girl.
I hoped she liked me back.
I'm 17 years old.
We were at this party.
We were drinking.
And my friend's girlfriend had like a guest house that they were living in above a garage maybe.
And to me, like like at 17 it was like
amazing that someone had their own space we played spoons we drank anyway this girl who i liked and
hoped like me back we were sleeping on the couch together fully clothed right and in front of other
people or whatever and uh we're snuggling on the couch and at one point i make a move to grab her boob hoping
that this is well received it wasn't right and uh she used her elbow and kind of implied not for you
well fuck what if you painted that story in the worst possible way right what if instead of we
were sleeping for the night like she was passed out or barely able to defend herself what if instead of we were sleeping for the night like she was passed out or barely able to
defend herself what if like what if you took that story and made me a monster instead of a guy
hoping that she liked him back like you can do see that's that's the path we're on right now
like we're on the path of all it takes From here on out If this ruins Kavanaugh
The new world we're in
Is if you
Accuse someone, no evidence
After almost four decades later
You accuse someone
That person's career is over
That's profoundly damaging to our discourse in politics
Two young men, right
I think she was in high school
Two young men held her down
Covered her face, turned the the music up whatever i think to myself i i don't know any woman who can beat two men
right all she must have expressed she didn't want to be there and they decided to let her go
uh cover her fate like what if she remembers it 50 wrong and she's supposedly a very drunk little girl yeah with
with two men i i it i it that doesn't wash for me necessarily um you know and and also like
the fact that it's 34 or 35 years ago when they were all underaged and i i'm i'm inclined to hear
his position where he says i'm it sure that happened, but it wasn't me.
That's what he says.
That's the route he's taking.
He's going with the, you have no evidence.
I've never even met this woman kind of thing.
Right?
That's what Trump did, too.
He would be like, I never even met these people.
They'd show pictures.
Well, maybe I met them.
Kavanaugh's saying you never met her, that it didn't happen. Something something happened i don't believe that she's been scheming this for the last 16
years but here's the thing that i don't think she wouldn't have been scheming it for 16 years she
would have like made it up like if she's making it up then she then she made it up it doesn't
seem like she's making it up it seems like something happened she's getting therapy around
this something happened and her and her husband and her therapist about it.
But I don't know that the husband or therapist can testify that she told them his name.
I don't know if that's a thing, which would be helpful to her case, I suppose, in some regard.
But if she doesn't testify.
If the therapist even remembers the name, right?
Yeah.
If she doesn't testify, he's going right through.
He'll get right in.
Yeah.
Unless like some douche like Jeff Flake in Arizona.
Flake said that he was on board.
Arguably the worst senator out there.
I want to say Flake said that he was on board if she doesn't testify.
Okay.
And here's where I was headed with my thing.
Let's say that the truth is somewhere in the middle, right?
That he made a move on her and she
broke away and said no way is a guy defined by his worst moment 35 years ago right is that
disqualifying if the truth is in the middle if the truth is on her side if he literally held
her down and like attempted raped her and she was able to muscle it, then I don't like the guy.
I mean, he's a terrible rapist.
I don't know if we need that kind of a weak-willed man making these hard decisions.
Who stops at the first no, right?
I don't like rapists who fail.
I don't like rapists who fail.
I like that.
The thing with it is I feel like there's too much backwards engineering to try and make it
like well it could be half true could be a third true and if it's even that much true we really
got to be questioning it's like no the modus or the the burden of proof is on the accuser
like you can't just say hey uh president who's running in 2048 in 2002 this guy molested me
i don't remember the year or in the early 2000s i gave more detail than
she did uh in the early 2000s uh this guy molested me you know he came up to me tried to accost me
uh and i'm talking about myself if i did this you know to a president 2048 or whatever hey this guy
molested me sometime in the late 90s early 2000s he did this that and the other thing i can't
remember the the setting i can't remember the setting.
I can't remember the people who were there.
But trust me, the person that I've been married to for decades, they agree with me.
And this therapist, you know, I've been to therapy before, so the fact that I've had some trauma in my life shows that this is definitely the trauma, despite that there's no evidence.
It's like, no, your job is to show that this happened, which is why this kind of thing is so, I think, apparent as a political movement.
It comes out at the perfect time.
Dianne Feinstein goes radio silent, just letting the media go for it, doesn't give an interview for over a week.
When she talks to Fox News today on Tuesday, she even says, I don't know if these things are true.
I don't know.
She says she's not sure.
You know, she can't tell.
It's so obviously a political stunt.
One, I think that you wouldn't hate
the political stunt so much
if it was your team.
I honestly think that you've let
some of your own team's political stunts go by.
But the other thing is this.
Come on, I think we're so worried.
I know, but okay, go ahead.
Okay.
Oh, you ruined it, my second point.
Oh, oh, I was going to say this. You were saying the burden of proof was on her and that you know you need to do i don't think that the criminal standard you know
is the same one that we need to meet for stuff like this you know like for example the statute
of limitations is passed right so instantly he is completely not at risk in any kind of
criminal so does the new thing become in it or guilty until proven innocent as long as it's not
criminal we all assume like i remember i mentioned this a while ago right like we've got some areas
where someone's held down and forcibly raped and whatever and we've got another area over there
where there's two people who work together who in love in a consensual relationship and those
things are fine in the gray is where the conversation needs to happen.
This is in the gray for me.
Like I don't think that we need to apply the same burden of proof we would for jail, right?
But if we really know that, you know, he did hold her down and cover her mouth and turn up the music and try to force himself.
You can't know no.
But if it becomes apparent to a fairly reasonable person that this happened like maybe
his next line of saying look you know you can't you can't find me guilty of it right if he came
out and said that if his defense was that weak and and admitted to it then maybe we decide like
all right that's what i mean if he admitted to it but just saying that, oh, this isn't a criminal court,
therefore we can go by the word of this person versus the word of this person,
therefore they're just about equal, you know, baseless accusations.
Here, let me ask you this about Juanita Broderick.
I'm trying to be a little further than I wanted it to be.
I guess I'm just saying, like, let's put a reasonable evaluation on this,
not necessarily one that matches the one we use in court.
evaluation on this. Not necessarily one that matches the one we use in court.
Okay. Well, do you think
that Juanita Broderick,
who alleges she was raped by
Bill Clinton, do you think that's credible?
I don't know the details.
She knows the time. She knows the date. She had
witnesses. She was demonstrated to be battered.
It sounds kind of
credible when you lay it out there. I'd like
to hear the other side, too.
It's way more information than what's here.
But it's just another indicative thing.
I have a feeling if Taylor heard that one and the parties were reversed, you'd start looking at the timing.
Like, you know what?
She was never really raped until he was in a position of power.
She never did this.
She never did that.
It's funny that it comes out now at a time that he doesn't want it to come out. That's also assuming my motive here. If she could go, if this woman could go,
hey, Kavanaugh did this to me.
It was this date, this time, these people saw me.
These people can verify, look, I was in the hospital.
Here's documents of my hospital stay.
It would be overwhelming.
You'd have to go, Christ, okay, this seems pretty credible.
But that's not what this is.
It's this guy did this to me.
I've been in therapy before.
Therefore, he's guilty.
And the whole media is coming together.
Most of the entire media.
I've been in therapy for this incident before and described it to my therapist, right?
Like, let's try and get it as accurate as we can.
But that's not fair either because you could have made this whole story up two months ago
and said, oh, yeah, I'll just say that this is the guy who I've been struggling with with my previous trauma.
I'm just now coming forward.
I'm giving it to the most left-leaning political agent out there, Dianne Feinstein, and she happens to release it at the best time for her.
It's so suspect.
And then everywhere I see is like, well, we have to take all accusations.
You've got to believe the women.
You've got to take all these accusations seriously.
It's like, really?
Do we all have to suspend our common sense and our pattern recognition for this?
We can't see this and look at it for what it is?
Oh, an opportunistic political stunt.
There's no evidence.
If evidence comes out, I'll be happy to admit I'm wrong.
But it's not going.
Let's do this then.
If he admits to it, Let's do this then.
If he admits to it, then how do we feel about him?
He's obviously had a very impressive life after that.
Not a speck on his record, apparently.
To get to where he is, he had to be promoted many, many, many times by conservatives and liberals alike.
He seems to have done a very good job at everything he's done and a professional who's respected pretty roundly. Tying into, is he defined by his worst moment, right?
That's kind of where you're headed.
Yes.
That's an interesting question, yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, is he defined by his worst moment?
So my daughter is much more liberal than anyone on this call.
She's great.
Don't hate her, people.
I'm sure she's a her people, but she is.
And I feel like
she would forgive a lot of felons.
Like, hey, they did their time.
Let's incorporate them into society.
Let's let it go. They've paid their price.
You know, we can't
just hold them responsible
for whatever, like, weed deal
they made six years ago. let's reincorporate
him all right does that same apply to cavanaugh i know we're not talking about a weed deal here
the fact that he was underaged i think is is a big one for me because like i'm thinking back to
like 17 17 year old me um i wouldn't have done what she describes apparently lately and i hadn't heard
that description of being held down and music turned up that would never have happened to me
i would i really i can say that for sure that's uh that's extreme especially with the other guy
there i don't want witnesses and that just that wouldn't have happened but but you could we could
all relate to like some sort of like mixed signals i'm sure we've all tried to kiss someone when we were a kid who was like, no.
Or grab a titty or whatever.
Here's something I've done.
Make an out with a girl.
Go for titty.
Get elbow blocked.
All right.
Make out with her for 15 minutes more.
Check and see if that door opened.
Then her side of the story is, and I was so afraid just kept making out with 15 more minutes and i went home and i cried all night and my mother
told me that i shouldn't make a big deal because it would but he was looked at he was a he was an
athlete and and and the and the everyone would turn on me and the and the administration would
look at me badly and it would affect my college you know i wouldn't get letters of recommendation what if you took that you know kiss a girl elbow blocked 15 minutes
later you know more kissing elbow blocked again and then paint that in the worst light right you
know the things that i had no idea she was thinking like that uh it's it's really bad
yeah for male female relations i'm not even talking about politics
right now i'm talking about how men and women get along in society this kind of shit is terrible
fucking terrible it makes people afraid to be their natural selves it makes men into weak
little limp-wristed pussies who feel like they have to be like eddie like it could set for the
breast grab now you did side for left breast i would have shared right breast that is in play okay you know what the answer is like that like that that's not a good way for people to see
it and it's of course men have a reason to be scared if they see all this around them and they
go fuck 30 years from now someone can just make something up or totally change the past and
immediately you know the narrative is always oh you know these people they come forward and then
it's immediate deluge of hate from the entire Internet.
It's like, really? Because what I see is pretty much the exact opposite.
It's usually an immediate lauding of their bravery and saying how more people need to do this.
Like, that's what I see more people getting roles for doing it on Me Too.
Like, it's just damaging for our public fabric.
The answer is to stop fucking women.
Get yourself a trans woman.
Or a trans woman, right?
Because they don't do any of this silliness. They don't get confused.
They want the dick.
They have the dick.
That's why they want it so much.
They know how good it is.
Yeah.
And even more important news, if we're all done with
political...
The
creator of Bert and Ernie today important news if we're all done with i can be done yeah political yeah uh uh the the creator
of burton ernie today uh was was talking about uh just something about how like oh they're you
know they're loving friends and you know they're they're really like they're they're friends that's
what it is and like immediately everybody on twitter is like you confirmed that they're gay
that they're gay they got they're gay everyone bur're gay, everyone! Bert and Ernie are gay!
And the guy had to, Sesame Street
had to release a
statement that was like,
I'll paraphrase to like,
yeah, I made these characters
Bert and Ernie,
but they're puppets.
They have no sexual orientation.
They're puppets.
They're just friends. I thought that was like aets. I always thought they were. They're just friends.
I thought that was a known thing.
I thought they were like brothers.
I don't know what the fuck was going on with her.
Look at them.
Come on.
I always thought they were friends.
They're puppets.
I don't want to think about them fisting each other's loose puppet asses in that bed.
I don't want to be friendly.
When I watched Scooby-Doo, I never really thought of Shaggy and Scooby as like potheads who would just smoke in all the time, like
really jonesing for snacks and all the other things that they do.
And then the van, the mystery van with the flowers, there was such hippie reference.
I didn't get it.
I didn't get any of it until adult me was like, yeah, actually, there's a lot of clues
there.
That's kind of...
Well, there are some.
Say it again?
The pot thing with Shaggy.
Even as a kid, I'm like, something's up.
He's always hungry.
You knew more than me, baby.
I'm sorry.
Can I interject?
Yeah.
Maybe this article's a lie.
This is on the Mary Sue.
But it says, in an interview with Queerty,
Mark Saltzman,
who worked for 15 years on the puppets and wrote scripts and songs for Sesame Street, talked about how
Burt and Ernie were inspired by his own relationship
with film editor Arnold Glassman.
Saltzman talks about how before he joined
Sesame Street in 84, he was already with his
life partner, the love of his life,
but he wasn't fully out at the time.
Yet by the time he did join the iconic show, he was
completely out. By 86, we had an apartment together.
My father knew.
There was no hiding it.
Saltzman then went on to say
that he did want to take a more progressive gay route
in his writing on the show,
but the powers that be kept him from tackling stuff like AIDS.
You wanted to tackle AIDS on Sesame Street?
I mean, there were a lot of kids.
You know, it's Tuesday today, which means I get a rusty trombone.
Do you want to spell rusty trombone with me, Bert?
Oh.
You.
Reach around.
Get in there, bud.
So the guy's name was Don Salin?
Is that?
I linked the thing that I had.
This is Mark Saltzman.
Maybe.
Oh.
Is that... I linked the thing that I had.
This is Mark Saltzman.
Maybe...
Oh.
I googled Bert and Ernie creator
and I got Don Salin.
S-A-H-L-I-N.
I didn't get your link, Kyle.
Oh, it just showed up.
Oh, I put it in fucking Discord.
I'm sorry.
I sent it to a bunch of people
who have no idea what it's in reference to.
By Princess Weeks is the name of this author.
The Mary Sue.
Interesting little site.
Are the Teletubbies supposed to be gay?
No, that was one of those ridiculous joking things.
That was just 12-year-olds being mean to 8-year-olds.
I remember the whole thing was like,
oh, that one's purple.
Purple's for gays. There was a Christian leader. Is it jerry falwell i might have the wrong guy i bet that
sounds right who was really upset about the teletubbies being gay and he maybe he just
believed why are there no remember that was lady tubbies i almost believe the white power meme
i have fell for that so you guys familiar with the white power meme all right so okay yeah the okay
sign right if you i think you have to hold it this way but then you get like looking for this
you get like a little better so the upside down okay sign if you hold your hand right is wp
right it makes a w and i guess it'd be like this w the right side up one here it is yeah it took
me a while to get there i I'm making a WB.
I'm very confused.
And anyway, in pictures, I see it.
I'm like, all right.
And then I've seen actual white supremacists do it, which made me buy it more.
And I find out it's born on 4chan.
So this whole thing is stupid.
It's a troll. It was literally them saying, I saw another thread about it recently on 4chan where they were like,
let's see how many idiots we can get to see that going like this is white power.
They did another one where they're like, hey, let's get this one popular.
Making the peace sign that stands for two genders.
But there's only two genders.
That's the peace sign.
Be careful.
If you see a peace sign, and people are so dumb.
The white power thing. Let me carry on a little bit. Two genders. That's the peace sign. Be careful. If you see a peace sign, like, and people are so dumb.
The white power thing.
Let me carry on a little bit.
It got so pervasive, I'm looking for, that I started to reverse engineer it in my head.
Like, well, maybe it started as a goof and then got adopted by Nazis.
I'm still right.
That's what happened in my head for a little bit.
And yeah, now it is possible that things like that can happen,
but I don't think that it did happen.
I think most people do it now because they're like,
wow, there's never been an easier way to troll people.
Like you just go like this now,
and people are like, oh, dog whistling to Nazis. And it and it's like really are you sure you didn't just
go okay how how is 4chan so effective right like if i wanted to fuck up some social movement
i would totally pick 12 people from 4chan to be on my team over a hundred thousand people on reddit
it takes a very small group of motivated people to make really anything
happen, right? It's incredible.
Weaponized autism.
I mean, when we framed up
Junkyard, right?
It was a Skype call, maybe six or eight people in it.
We had a movement forming.
That poor guy.
Who cares?
It's just funny when people take like...
You never did anything good for us.
We all know how much we hated the old Junkyard Minute.
Was he ever on this show?
It's a Junkyard Quickie.
Yes, he has been on this show.
You have to say Quickie because a minute,
you know, sometimes they only made it to 42 seconds.
They did.
They were less than a minute.
Hey, I went 0 and 4 and I got primed last spot upload time at 6.30pm.
If you want to see the conclusion to this 42 second video, come on over to my channel where we'll be showing you the credits.
If you want to see me go 0-8 instead of 0-4, click on over to my channel.
The best part was nobody came.
Nobody was interested.
At least the viewing audience wasn't
dumb enough to be like well maybe he's just hiding the good stuff on his channel like they knew they
knew what he didn't have a huge that's something that i'm making this about me but i had a huge
sense of pride i did a um uh a dual com with wings early early in my youtube career right he did a lot to help me get off the ground and i think the video got 20 000 views and i got 2 000 subscribers out of it and then he did
one with another guy like crunk skunk or something yeah how close is that his name that's his name
crunk skunk got like 220 yeah yeah 220 000 views it was a famously cringy and bad uh dual com i was kind
of friends with him at the time 200 subs right i had a 10 conversion of mine and he had less than
one and i was i was very proud of it yeah we we gave him a lot of shit about that we we we mocked
him endlessly for that you know we were friends we
would joke with him about it when we played call of duty i think he got a like a makeup he was
just like i was so nervous oh he explained how it all happened he was like i was so nervous
he gave me no time to prepare he was just like he called me on skype and i was like hey what's up
he's like we're all right and we're live the second one was just as bad and i i i arrogantly thought i never did it but i was like
i am like so ready to do a dual comm with him i can make it good i can break the mold that was
like my personal challenge to myself to do a good dual comm with crunk skunk but it never happened
yeah but i mean you know i wanted to be that guy, the guy who do the best out of it.
I remember using like a junkyard as like a barometer for my channel growth for a while,
because like way back in the day,
I used to get pissed at machinima where my shit would never get put up.
And after a few months of being with machinima,
when I just stopped putting shit in my drop box,
cause I'm like,
I'm not going to make more videos for them until they take the handful that are in there.
I was like, man, this junkyard dude gets no subs his channel is like
like this is the this was like the peak of call of duty commentary there was no excuse not to grow
you know this was real estate in 2006 it was exploding and i remember being like man my
channel's growing way fucking faster than his and i just upload here fuck this i'm not doing machinima anymore like that was a a main deciding factor seeing ken burton and junkyard
suck so bad on machinima that i was like fuck that i'm just gonna upload on my teeny channel
i have a slightly different take on their sucking so they were below average players that much is
true they sucked for a youtuber but they were below average in general my issue wasn't that they were bad right if they were like funny or informative
or if they brought something to the table it was that i felt like they didn't even like games that
much you know this was just a little side hustle that they put 20 minutes a day into made the worst
possible videos and i just like if they were if they were part of the community and passionate about it,
I would have forgiven the fact that they couldn't get good gameplay.
But that's not where they were.
They were just like, yeah, here's the 45-second video.
I played for 45 seconds and got what I needed.
And I'll upload it to the Machinima channel.
And that was my frustration.
They didn't even like games.
They didn't even play much.
They didn't get good.
They suck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's totally true.
What do you got here, Kyle?
This is pretty funny.
I won't spoil the fun, but this is in Dubai, I believe.
It looks like it is.
And they are doing a stunt on a rooftop,
it appears,
with a gigantic human slingshot.
Alright.
It's called Kareem Human Slingshot
Stunt in Dubai Revealed.
I'm ready. You guys ready? Yes.
Ready, set, play.
Alright.
No humans were harmed in the filming of this video.
So they're on a rooftop.
Oh, that's hilarious.
They got this grown man in an enormous
child car seat.
And they're like cocking him back
in an enormous slingshot.
This is CGI.
There's another building
with a net they're going to catch him on.
And he's clearing that building
by a long way.
they're going to catch him on.
And he's clearing that building by a long way.
Oh, it's a silly commercial.
That's a really funny commercial.
The first time I watched it was in that GIF form that I linked a little bit
at 7.14pm.
And it doesn't show that it was all
for laughs and whatever.
And it's also a little grainy here because it's in GIF form.
And I was like, oh God.
Oh God, they just launched that man
like a half a mile,
you know, a thousand feet in the air
or something like that.
I hope he didn't hit anybody else when he died.
I've seen a similar stunt,
but the guy was a base jumper.
So when he gets up high,
he pulls his chute and lands under reserve
or under parachute.
Do you remember when red bull did the biggest
like from space skydiving thing ever like a few years ago where like you could see the curvature
of the earth you know flat earthers btfo in that red bull uh challenge and it showed him like
it took like like 15 minutes for him to get down there. And then like a week later, Slim Jim did the world's shortest skydiving thing
where they hang a guy in full regalia nine inches above the ground
and they just drop him.
Oh, that was – I love that.
That's so fucking clever from Slim Jim.
I'm looking to see how – I want to say that – oh, shucks.
So I was like –
He was like in space.
Yeah. All right. So in my head I'm like I think he was at, oh, shucks. He was like in space. Yeah.
All right.
So in my head, I'm like, I think he was at like 38,000 feet.
And you can't really see the curvature of the earth from there because that's where like jet airliners fly.
It's not that big a deal.
Turns out he was at 38,000 meters, which is 127,000 feet, which I don't know a damn thing about.
Maybe you can see the curvature of the earth from there.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He's using a GoPro.
You can get curvature on ground with a damn GoPro.
If you look up, it's darkness.
Yeah.
When you look up, it's not a blue sky.
It's space.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember thinking, like, they said how much he made.
He got paid a lot of money.
And I was like, who wouldn't do that for that amount of money?
He's like, they float him up, and then he just sort of leans forward.
And he doesn't even have to worry about pulling his own parachute.
It's like an auto shoot.
Just close your eyes and enjoy the ride.
Yeah, I wonder how much extra.
Did I tell you guys I went skydiving a couple weeks ago?
Oh, I told you.
Did I lay it out?
I'm not sure.
How high up did you go?
I guess it's probably a standard for skydiving.
Yeah, well, the cheapest was $12,000, and then $14,000 and $16,000, I think.
You paid more for your altitude.
And I was like, ah, cheapest is fine.
And also, I was going with a couple other people.
They didn't want me determining that we're all going to pay more.
But the coolest part to me was how easily they can do it.
I had this idea that there were lessons involved in skydiving.
Not if you baby Bjorn it, right?
If you just strap onto some dude's chest,
they tell you how to jump out of the plane on the flight up.
They tell you how to land at 500 feet.
He's given me hand signals and
stuff that we have never gone over i don't know who he's talking to yeah yeah right there's a
little of that i was strapped right to him there's no choice but uh third base coach
i don't know are you waving me in yeah i didn't, yeah. I didn't get it. But it was kind of cool.
I liked it a lot.
And it was a fun experience.
He gives you one of these.
You're like, yeah, white power.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But I would go skydiving again, I think.
It's not something I'm going to make my new hobby.
But if I'm near the skydiving place and the planes are going, I might just slide on over there.
if I'm near the skydiving place and the planes are going,
I might just slide on over there.
I saw a wingsuiter hit a bridge a couple nights ago at 140 miles per hour or something like that.
Is he okay?
Yeah, he's all fine.
I was like, is Taylor dumb?
I never noticed how dumb Taylor was.
And he hit the railing.
The railing was like very sturdy, like this big steel.
It was bent to shit.
It cut off his leg at the hip, and then he tumbled 300 feet down to the canyon below.
When the bridge is covered in people, they're there to watch him make his pass.
He's dead, right?
Oh, yeah.
Because Jeb survived his crash on the ground, but it was a little mild by comparison.
Did he lose his leg at the hip?
He almost lost his foot.
Okay. Jeb Corliss,
if you don't know him, there was a
he's proximity flying
in a wingsuit down the hill. It's all over
YouTube. You might have seen it before.
And they have a balloon
hooked up to a bunch of rocks.
And he's going to hit this balloon with his
body. Challenge is
you're 18 inches off course.
And your foot smacks into a rocket like 100 miles an hour.
And he goes tumbling, tumbling, tumbling in the air.
He's no longer a flying wing.
And it's all on GoPro.
He's like sponsored by GoPro.
He's got six GoPros all over him.
And the sound of a man in that kind of agony is
horrifying. It's just, oh, it's brutal. And if you like this kind of thing, he did a really nice
analysis of it afterwards, like what led up to it. And he has this one quote that burns into the
mind of everyone who does this kind of thing which is like my biggest mistake was i lost
my fear and that's what led to it this sense of invulnerability and to make him push himself
to areas where there was no margin for error so do you want to watch oh 11 seconds we have oh my god
i paused it at one second and almost saw it yeah yeah, yeah. This is quick and to the point. The audio of him hitting it is the best part
because the video was filmed with a Coke can.
Yeah.
Let me just...
Sound like a wet slap, probably.
No.
Is this old now?
It's a four by three aspect ratio.
Good Lord, people.
Like when a bird flies into a window.
It's a capture of a capture of LiveLeak.
Okay.
It's a capture.
It is.
It is.
It is. The LiveLeak. Okay. It's a capture. It is. It is. It is.
The LiveLeak is on there twice.
I'm ready if everyone's ready.
Hey, let me find the LiveLeak one.
Let me at least tempt it for a moment.
Okay.
If I can't see his leg exploding off, I don't even want to bother.
I want to feel sad and weird about this for a few minutes afterward.
I need a high quality video resolution for that.
Well, even that one's a capture of a caption.
Let me look at one or two more.
There's so many.
I've never seen this before.
I bet he died pretty much instantly.
Yeah.
There was no suffering.
It was like when you hit a fly with a fly swatter.
They said that's the assumption.
This one's one minute long, but you get to see his approach.
I like that.
Oh, this is on YouTube, so
let me just go straight. God damn it!
Alright, it's better quality, but it's still a
capture for capture. You just linked us one on LiveLeak.
Yeah, I know, but it's a LiveLeak
link to YouTube. It's fucking garbage.
So the most recent one, I think,
is the way to go. That's the best I've found out of
five. Someone out there doesn't want to see in this video.
I'm ready.
And I'm queued up at zero. Ready, set, play.
All right
Funny this is a death video and the annotation was click this to see a video of a chick in a bikini.
So this guy's coming in
He looks like he's stalling to me
He's trying to maintain altitude so he clears it. Yeah, but that's not what you do. Yeah, so he's stalling to me. He's trying to maintain altitude so he clears it.
Yeah, but that's not what you do.
Yeah, so he's stalling as fuck.
He realizes he's off course.
Oh!
Oh!
What is this parachute business going on?
Is that his body?
Or is that a...
Rescuer?
Yeah, I don't know.
I think that's a rescuer.
I think that's him down there.
Oh, man.
I wish one of the...
Another angle.
Ooh, I see. Yeah.
I wish you heard someone go, is he okay?
At that point,
I think he probably should have
tried to go under the bridge.
Damn.
That occurred to me too, Taylor.
There's not a lot of good choices.
No, a good choice would have been
to not do this.
Not go.
Yeah.
Because I saw him basically
i guess a good wing suitor does these maneuvers with a lot of speed and if you need to you can
just adjust your angle of attack and get some more altitude they can even go up but i saw him
basically stalling the whole way in he he i guess guess, felt like he wasn't even close. He's kind of
fucked. If that ever interests you, Richard Ryan was trying to get me to become a wingsuiter one
time because I was telling him how cool what he was doing was. And he's like, come up to Tennessee.
We'll do like, I don't remember what the number was, but he's like, we'll do 150 jumps in a
weekend and get you certified in one single weekend. He's like, we go up, we jump, we go up,
we jump. We do that all day for two days straight and you're certified and then we can begin like doing
um i don't know if you're certified to go solo at that point or if you're certified to wingsuit
it's one or the other like like there's a number of jumps for uh for for solo and then there's a
number of jumps to be certified to like get into the wingsuiting thing but it was gonna be one or
the other in in a single
weekend of jumps and it was either 100 or 150 something like that solo is 35 i'm not positive
but my friend did it not long ago yeah so maybe 150 may have been the squirrel man uh get up but
i was just like i just wasn't interested like for one thing i'm a little afraid to jump out of the
fucking airplane and i always had i was always like i'll do it if somebody
pays me to do it i i don't i don't i don't want to just i'm not gonna go do it for fun but uh but
if you pay me to do it you sign me up the jumping out they handle for you i know i i think i
mistold the story a minute ago but i was talking to the my instructor the guy i'm strapped to
and i'm like i don't quite get the mechanics of how to jump out of the plane like it do i do this do i am i going
to lean forward is it like a somersault what if we go too far and he's like an argentinian guy
he's like oh i push you so that's how they do it i don't get to decide when we leave the plane
he's gonna push me out they just push you out well we're attached to each other but yeah he kind of initiates a somersault like i sat in the air i sat on the door of the plane with my feet
out the side like it was a chair in the sky and then he pushes he's on his feet like squatting
and he pushes me out of the plane yeah is it tiring to skydive no like is it like no so there's like no stress on your body or
anything you're not like having to do special breathing because when kyle said oh you can just
do it 50 times in two days i was curious like is that oh i would imagine that can be a little
exhausting that there's a thing going there but uh i if there is any like fatigue i was anxious
about it right i was i was anxious the whole way through i i don't do
well like one of the ways i'm wired is i really like to know what's coming up you know i i don't
like to be surprised when doctors practice that like i'll give you a needle don't look tried to
distract you kind of medicine that is not my cup of tea i don't like that feeling of being out of
the loop and that's how they did this jump. But in hindsight, it worked out really well.
But yeah, I was anxious.
But in terms of exercise, it's not exercise.
I was worried about the chute coming open.
Because I've been on a reserve chute, parachute.
And that is different than what they use.
A reserve chute is meant to deploy very quickly and arrest your speed in a heartbeat.
Right?
I deployed mine at 70 feet, right? But some
people do it at 50, right? So you can't slow down gradually. And we're going terminal velocity. I
don't know what that even is for a human, but we're- For two people, it's probably less,
but I want to say for one person, it's around 140 miles per hour.
Okay. Well, say we're going 120 miles an hour i was a little concerned about our abrupt
deceleration the whole way through but it turns out that uh they open kind of slowly it took like
10 seconds the thing was like wagging in the air like a bed sheet and it took a little while to
really inflate so the whole time it was partially inflated we're gradually losing speed it wasn't
so bad.
It says it's 122, but of course that's an average because it's going to depend on your ballistic
coefficient, your weight, and all that.
It sounds like you know more about this
than me.
You've got to have your ballistic coefficient in mind.
It's just how well you are.
It's just your aerodynamics, really.
As soon as you said it, I was like,
Kyle probably has some bullet-related knowledge in this subject.
Yeah, it's bullet-related knowledge.
But yeah, it was a really fun time.
But I don't need it as my everyday hobby.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it strikes me as even more dangerous than paramotoring, you would think.
Right?
Or there might not be enough data points in paramotoring to know.
That could be.
One of the challenges with skydiving is I feel like there are more
paramotorists who, like, keep it cool.
Like, imagine how you fly a Cessna, right?
It's aviation.
It's really slow.
You go level from airport to airport.
Everything is kind of, like, driving, you know?
They're not doing stunts in their Cessna.
But all the skydivers I know eventually get into what they call crew,
which is when they're all jumping together and holding hands,
or there's something else, I might have my terms wrong,
where under chute they like to form different formation
and put their feet in the link up and stuff like that.
They get tangled.
They get tangled.
People maybe deploy when they're under you, and they get smacked.
There's all sorts of complications involved, and that's where everyone promotes to.
They work their way up to more dangerous stunts rather than just enjoying time under canopy.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Well, the Call of Duty beta was out this week, and the Blackout beta.
Well, the Call of Duty beta was out this week, and the Blackout beta. Call of Duty Black Ops 4 Blackout mode, which is the Battle Royale, right?
And we played a shitload of it.
We played a lot of it.
It's a lot of fun.
They seem to have really had their ducks in a row.
It seemed like maybe they let PUBG, Fortnite, those guys do a lot of their R&D for them for free.
And, you know, they copied a lot of stuff from those games.
Not just a complete copy-paste,
but they utilized a lot of the stuff that maybe they learned from those games.
It definitely has flaws, but it is a beta,
so we're hoping that that stuff gets ironed out.
It takes an enormous amount of damage to take someone down.
It's shocking how much damage it takes like like
is it comparable to any other call of duty or is it more like like a battlefield like nothing you've
ever seen before with the amount of damage it take i've never seen a video game where it take
more than halo like like like oh i don't like that if it's more than halo that's not even cod
anymore it absolutely is more than halo because four bodies in a head i forget there there's like
people who were i want to say it's four bursts um so so it'd be like uh three bodies in a head
i want to say okay um yeah it's like 12 bullets i don't know if that would do it on a guy who's
got level three armor and a trauma pack so there's a health item that gives you 200 health
and the standard is 150 health for some reason and then like there are three grades of armor and the first
grade of armor i think reduces weapon damage by like 40 so i don't know what the third level does
but it basically makes you the fucking juggernaut you it takes an entire magazine to take that guy
down and there's bullet damage drop off so at extended ranges all of the things i mentioned
before get compounded so if there's a guy pretty far away, it seems like an entire magazine won't take him down.
And to make all that worse, the healing is rapid fire with healing items that you have hot-keyed.
And you can heal while you're moving, not sprinting full out, but sort of jogging.
You're sort of jogging into cover and going,
heal, healed.
Heal, healed. And there are
three tiers of healing items that heal
more HP
depending on which one you've got.
So we were getting a little frustrated with that.
It was a little absurd.
So is sniping done? No sniping anymore
with this setup?
There was a one kill weapon so i watched
um sandy ravage live stream it turned out x kyle was in the lobby too so i didn't play it like kyle
but i they agree with kyle they um they agree that the tier three armor but in their opinion
they said this tier three armor needs to go that shouldn't exist tier two armor should have tier
three rarity maybe or maybe they said tier one should have tier three rarity maybe or maybe they said tier
one should have tier three rarity and um and then it took way too long uh again i'm watching
sandy ravage and xcal these are good players and their team some other people i didn't know
got decimated by a dude with tier three armor yeah yeah. Yeah, it was really hard. But that can all be ironed out
with some minor changes, right?
The groundwork's already there.
It's just like change the loot
or change the values.
And they've got an amazing game
because the equipment
and the way that plays into the game
is incredible.
And so much fucking fun.
What's equipment?
There's a lot of different ones.
There are perks in the game, for one thing.
And they last for like
120 seconds to like
180 seconds. You pick them up off the ground
and it says dead silence. And you go into your inventory
and you click it, and you got dead silence
for three minutes or something like that.
So you wait to an opportune moment to use
these perks. But the equipment
are things like a grappling hook with five
charges on it that you're Batman
now. You aim it at almost
anything, way
farther away than you would think, and you
pew!
And it'll suck you to it, and then if you time a
jump at the end right, you can get on top of
any building in the game, rapidly.
And you can time that into gunfights
so that you're like, I don't know,
the Matrix or something like that it's
really cool it's like you can put a zip line almost anywhere you want yeah are you buying
these items like in your loadout before or is all of this you just find it yeah you find them and
so you don't enter the game with level three you enter the game with nothing are there transactions
all over the place uh none so far um that i can see and and i'm and for a battle royale
they would have to be cosmetics only uh but there's cool there's cool things like a sensor
dart you fire this sensor dart at any surface it sticks to it and now you've got a pulsating like
uav in a in a circular area that's about the size of like a small tiny like compound like four buildings
uh round super effective and there's um there's a barrier that you can put down to hide behind
that like sends out microwaves to anything in front of it and sort of injures people
there's like two or three flash bangs and two or three frag grenades and a tomahawk
uh it it was a ton of fun i i'm looking i'm definitely getting it yeah so they
i'm just i'm processing this in my head i'm like fortnite took pub g added what i'll call
complexities to it and they weren't your cup of tea black ops took pub g added their complexities
to it like perks and grappling hooks and things like that and you're like oh you made it better
so yeah
they're different i won't say it's better than pub g it's just okay i i think they're both good
games and and it's hard to judge because cods and beta right now as they are pub g is a much
superior game in my opinion the gun play is just perfect but like i i think that this beta is going
to get a lot better i think they're going to iron out these damage and health issues that they've
got right now and maybe some of the healing stuff
that's going on.
You play on PC? You said hotkey.
Yes, definitely PC.
I'm terrible at sniping in this
game, but I'm great with the shotgun.
The shotgun's incredibly powerful.
It's like a one-hit kill
on these level 3 armor guys up close.
If you can get up close.
The grappling hook helps with that. You can rapid fire this grappling hook and just aim at the ground
in front of you and zip along the ground really quick and like you can shoot the ground yeah
ground rocks any surface it's this thing will lock on to the only thing it doesn't lock on to
is other players and i want that so bad i want to shoot a player grapple hook to him and do like a
superman punch as I'm coming in at
40 miles per hour. They should have an assassination
animation for it.
Maybe you pull his
heart out, something like that.
And they've mixed in zombies
and the mystery box.
Oh, I like this.
There's areas on the map where you'll see
there's a mystery box and you go in there and there's zombies
defending it, so you've got to fight them.
And these are like...
Regular matches?
Yeah.
You feel like you know the maps pretty well because of your COD experience?
Inside and out.
Yeah.
All of them.
Is there enough of the map that is existing maps that it really makes a difference?
Yeah.
There are tiny compounds with like four buildings in a shed
that are just made up right copy paste it down but like the the named locations like if you look
at the map there's estates there's asylum there's uh shit the cargo yard or whatever shipping
shipping yard and no it's it's not that it's they only use treyarch maps so uh so no infinity
ward maps infinity ward's making a make the next Call of Duty that Infinity Ward
makes will also have a BR mode. They've already
released that information.
But it will suck. I will
see. I got mad at them
as a developer.
You definitely know the
maps. When I landed at Estates, I played Estates
so many fucking times. I know that map inside
and out. I know every little crevice of it.
It's super helpful that you know
most of them, if not all of the maps
pretty much inside and out. And then there's this wilderness
between them that you've never seen before.
Roads and forests and deserts.
Different sort of ecosystems
as you go about.
You swim like Michael Phelps.
You can swim underwater.
You can shoot underwater.
There's vehicles. There's an ATV.
There's a big, like, giant monster truck kind of thing. Like, I'm like a... How are they graphics?
I turned my... Right now, it's capped at 90 frames per second. So, I've got mine cranked all the way
up, and it looks pretty fucking good. It looks pretty fucking good. It really does. You play
in 1440p, or do you stretch it out to the whole width i know that's awesome i play
in 1440 um there's no stretching going on um it's got cool features too like like it's got a
a variable fov which means that uh i set my gameplay fov the the field of view that my
player sees when i'm walking around to 110 extra wide wide. Normally, a lot of games are at 90.
But then when I ADS, when I aim down sights,
it changes to 90.
And that gives you a higher magnification
because at 90, all the objects are larger.
As you make the field of view bigger,
every object on the screen gets slightly smaller.
So it's got a lot of cool little options like that built in.
When you make the field of view bigger does everything get like either rounded like i got to say i get dizzy would
be an exaggeration but everything seemed wrong when you start you get discombobulated like it's
just a it's not like a natural frame when you make it like that or at least to me i know what you
mean it's not dizzy but it's yeah yeah it's like you're seeing the like it's like you're looking
through chameleon eyes and your brain isn't like made to process it in that way to me it's just like the the screen
zoomed out a little bit uh it doesn't bother me i prefer it around 100 105 110 something like that
i've been experimenting with it the beta is over now so now we're just waiting on the game to
fucking come out uh but but yeah i i didn't think i was gonna play another call of duty i was scoffing
at paying 130 for another call of duty i was scoffing at paying 130 for
another call of duty but i guess i'm gonna fucking do it now because everybody else is
and and we really did enjoy playing it it was it was great it's a good game
yeah and they're doing beta right i like it not only does it sell the game but they're probably
get some feedback that makes the game better yeah for sure i think um i think a lot of people had to pre-order to get into the beta
uh but i was given a code uh chis had a lot of codes that someone gave him so i just i got in
for free i didn't have i'm gonna look on youtube some videos see if i'm interested in yeah watch
shroud play yeah watch shroud play uh play this game he was he was very good at it as you can
grab leaving pub g is that crazy talk or nah he won't leave pub g that's
his favorite game okay okay because he was playing a lot of rainbow and i don't know he didn't say
the words but the vibe i got was that he was a little worn out of pub g yeah i'm sure it gets
repetitive but that's kind of his bread and butter and right now it's definitely his favorite game i
would say he seemed to enjoy the cod beta, but he agrees with everybody else.
He too thought, you know, they kept remarking,
Jesus Christ, he's a tank.
Like, what is this?
You know, he'd shoot a guy 15 times and he'd duck behind a tree
and heal up right back up to 200 health.
And you know, every one of Shroud's bullets is landing between the guy's eyes.
Yeah, a lot of that.
I think Xcal or Sandy Ravage, I'm looking for,
was saying that when they add this tier three helmet on,
it's better not to get headshots.
Could be, could be.
I didn't bother sniping,
so I don't know a lot about the sniping.
I've seen a lot of one-hit kills with a sniper,
and it's happened to me,
but not when I had tier three armor on.
I just didn't care for the sniping.
I'm so accustomed to PUBG sniping
and knowing the speed of the bullet
and knowing how far to lead someone that
I couldn't figure it out in the limited amount
of time we had, certainly. So I mostly
played around with the assault rifles and stuff.
But they did a good job. Looking forward
to it. Right now we've been playing Monopoly.
We've been playing Monopoly late into the night.
Oh, that's a good way to lose for us.
It could be just as competitive as any game out there.
Yeah.
Taylor, if you want to play Monopoly, it was like $5 or something like that.
On Discord?
Or not Discord, whatever it's called, Steam?
I don't remember where we got it.
If you're actually interested in playing, you can hop on Discord,
and I'm sure somebody would tell you where we got it.
But it's something called Rento or something like that.
It's a lot of fun.
They're not paying the Parker brothers a dime,
I can promise you that.
This is an unlicensed version of Monopoly,
but we've been playing like four-man Monopoly
and they get so goddamn mad.
Every single game, someone gets in a huffing, puffing,
calling names. Yeah, it's Moning, puffing, calling names.
Yeah, it's Monopoly.
Fuck you, maggot.
People are dropping F-bombs.
Everybody's getting super pissed.
And Chiz and I are good at Monopoly.
There's a lot of strategy in Monopoly.
It's not just rolling the dice and we'll see what happens.
That plays a part.
But there's strategy also, and there's deal-making,
and there's looking.
You would like Settlers of Catan.
Maybe.
There's sometimes where I'll do a deal with Chiz,
and so now Chiz and I both have.
Is that the game from Parks and Rec?
No, that's Cones of Dunshire.
Oh, okay.
It was made like a joke about Settlers of Catan where like Catan isn't like that.
It's way simpler, just like more on trading.
But like, it's basically what you're saying, like where you get to fuck people where it's like, all right, I have this thing that can fuck any one of you.
Who's going to give me the best deal?
Who's going to give me the most resources?
And then someone, there's always one, you know, hard headed person who's like, I will not bow to tyranny.
I'm like, then I will ruin your fucking crops.
This is what's going to happen.
It's a blast.
You're off on the other end.
This guy I play with, Urban, he's Canadian.
So he'll be doing really shitty in the game.
And I'll be like, is this because you're from a socialist country?
Is that what this is?
You're not using these capitalistic ideals here?
You're missing the point.
Hey, man, I don't want to be the biggest country out there.
I just want to lay low, keep the peace.
You guys are the ones fighting back and forth.
Just listlessly in the middle.
That's what he's probably trying to do.
Sometimes that's the strategy.
Oh, in those games, sometimes it is.
You have to wait for the big guy to get knocked off,
and then you're like, all right, here's my chance.
Every episode of Survivor,
I want to be the fourth best person on this island.
You know?
Yeah.
Like one guy who's like six,
eight shredded.
It's like,
Hey,
Thad,
you know,
lift this log for us.
Like week one,
they're like,
God,
this Thad guy's great.
And then it comes around to vote and they're like,
none of us can beat that.
Yeah.
He killed,
we were sharing.
He killed his own pig.
He didn't even tell us about it.
I went over there and he was eating it raw, motherfucker.
So we're voting Thad's go-
Okay, thank God. He scares me to be frank.
They do that.
And then in the end it's always some shitty woman
who didn't do anything and some semi-meek
man who snuck in.
That's why you gotta win the challenges and get the immunity idol.
That's why you have to blow the men
so that they don't eliminate you.
That'll do it too.
I like Kyle's approach. You wanna talk about something that
would never be shown today?
There's an episode of Survivor
where they're all in the ocean on these poles
that are driven into the ocean
floor. They're not far out, but
they're all standing on these poles.
He's like, you guys want some peanut butter? They're starving. They're all standing on these poles and he's like you guys want some
peanut butter and they're starving and they're like yes all right we'll strip
and all the women get naked who said this was it a competitor or a no the guy who runs the show
or the khakis on this yeah this fucking uh steve irwin outfit and his clean boots like
get naked for me you guys want some Jif?
And they're like, fuck yeah we want Jif.
Alright, we'll get naked. Let's go.
And everybody gets naked, of course.
They don't give a shit. No shame at that point.
Alright, come over here. Get on your knees.
I'm going to give you one cockhead's worth.
Scoop.
My balls are covered in it.
He dips his fucking dick in it like a fork
all right here it is a covered banana yes
i've seen those and when the men strip he doesn't tell them like this is actually a female only
challenge sorry fuck off i've seen those cringe stories online of like guys who have like fucked
a can of crisco or something like that yeah crisco's large
you know it comes in a large round thing and it's it's thick and so you stick your dick in it and
you get some friction i suppose um i mean and and then like they forget and then their mom comes
home and she opens the crisco and there's a dick-sized hole just going down in the crypt they forgot to smooth it back out oh what's this
uh i yeah i have an unrelated semi-related story if i get peanut butter out of the jar
with celery and uh i get in trouble for that for the tail marks i leave behind yeah it's not a good
i don't double dip but yeah i think you're getting some like plant matter in there for that for the tail marks i leave behind yeah it's not a good i don't double dip but
yeah i think you're getting some like plant matter in there on that peanut butter for some reason
peanut butter is good at room temperature and they're sealed up but maybe celery's not you know
i mean you're making a lot of sense but the alternative is to put out more effort
i eat my peanut butter however i want sometimes i'll just get a spoon and eat it like ice cream.
Well, it's like Joey Tribbiani said.
They're like, what are you eating?
He's like, peanut butter fingers.
Like, what are peanut butter fingers?
He's like, peanut butter fingers.
I was watching Sailing La Vagabonde today,
and they interviewed someone,
and there was another young couple.
They were kind of sailing La Vagabonde
four years ago
and the guy was like
yeah one week before we got married
he bought a boat
and the guy goes
yeah that was my last week
of making my own financial decisions
it was really funny
it was like yeah
he just bought a fucking boat
without talking to his fiance
smart enough to strike while the iron's hot.
I like him.
I liked him too.
They were funny.
Anyway.
You guys want to call it a show?
Yeah.
PKN 213.