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There we are.
PKN episode 216.
Our baby show is bigger than most shows.
Yeah.
Longer anyway.
Now, Kyle, you recommend to me of,
let's say if there were a pie chart
of everyone who recommends me any TV show and movie in my life,
Kyle's 68% of that.
Like 68 to 70%.
That's where I get most of my recommendations and they're
always good but last night the one you recommended to me was the best one you've recommended in
in memory like i really i i saw uh nick cage like was the star of it and i was like like my first
thought was like kyle you fuck like why would you suggest me this guy from face off who's just a oh not good you might also
like ghost rider oh that's what my my girl was saying she's like i remember him in some movie
where he was like a mummy on a bike or something i was like the ghost it was ghost rider and i
didn't see it but i could tell it was bad we changed chain whips but i left that movie being
really having a nick cage redeemed a lot in my eyes.
I thought he did a very good job.
You're not going to spoil it, right?
Because I'm interested in hearing this.
No, we're not going to spoil it at all.
Can I ask some questions?
Let me just – we haven't said what it's called, first of all.
It's called Mandy, and it just came out on rental.
That was my first question.
It was a 2008 movie.
Yeah, it had a limited release in New York and L.A., and it did really well.
I don't know why they threw it out for rental now.
Because apparently, like I said, it was doing well.
It was making money.
Nick Cage is not one of my favorite actors.
He is really hit and miss, and that's a cliche that gets thrown around a lot, but I mean it.
Let's do it.
He makes...
Mostly miss.
Come on now.
He's made some good movies, and he's made some garbage movies.
What are his good ones outside of Mandy?
I really like Con Air.
I really like the one...
I've never seen Con Air.
Treasure Hunt or National Treasure?
That one's bad for me.
That was awful.
I like the one where... What is it one where he's in Vegas with his girl.
Is it called Las Vegas?
Is that the one where Robert Redford fucks his girl at what he hates so much?
He's not in that movie.
Leaving Las Vegas.
Leaving Las Vegas.
Okay.
You're thinking of something to do with a bet?
It's got a million dollars.
Elizabeth Shue, Julian Sands, and Richard Lewis.
That's good.
But Mandy was fucking strong.
It is a very odd film.
The music feels like this 80s electro that's really intense.
The whole way through, the music is super intense and very foreboding.
And the colors.
It's really trippy.
Really trippy.
I got a lot of vibes of fear and loathing in Las Vegas,
speaking of movies with Las Vegas in the title.
Quite a bit of it.
That combined with the Donnie Darko voice yes like you remember like
in donnie darko where he's like saying you know you have to leave or whatever the fuck and that
creepy voice like it had a lot of that and a lot of trippy stuff i was engaged the whole time like
at no point was i like looking down at my phone like fiddle fucking around like i was interested
i was really into it and i did not expect to be at it.
A decent proposal is the movie I hate.
I want to know what was going to happen next. Basically, no spoiler here,
it is a revenge
story. It is a very
bloody, hardcore
revenge story.
Would you call it an action movie
or a horror movie?
Neither. It's like a thriller.
There's some horror elements in it for sure.
There's a scene, say, 30 minutes in that is quite scary.
Okay.
I thought.
But it's not slow at any point.
I don't think at any point, Woody, you'll watch it and be like, come on, come on.
It's always jumping around.
Like I'm doing with Better Call Saul right now.
Yeah, it's
very good. I highly recommend it to
anyone. You might want to have a few
drinks or whatever you enjoy before
you watch it. A lot of the characters
in the movie,
that's sort of part of their
deal is that they are on acid.
And so sometimes we sort of view the movie
through the eyes of someone who is on acid and some of the characters the things that they do
it's because of acid and acid is like a is mentioned a few times in in the film it's uh
it's pretty fucking good i really enjoyed it I don't know what else to say.
There aren't a ton of characters.
It's not like some giant cast or anything like that.
You really follow Nick Cage around for the most part.
He lives in the forest, sort of isolated.
He's a lumberjack.
He's a lumberjack, isolated from society.
It's just him and his girl.
And then something horrible happens
and he's got to go make things right.
And he has this...
I think that's all we should say
other than really enjoyed it.
It's amazing to listen to.
Anything about the weapon?
Nah, let's just leave that alone.
He goes and gets ready
before he gets his revenge going.
We'll just leave it at that.
But it's really cool to listen to.
It's amazing to look at.
I watched in the dark, complete darkness in this room,
like with my monitor, my headset on, cranked up.
And there were like six or seven of us watching.
And at first, people were kind of chatting.
And then, but by the point where we got to,
when we got to the point where Nicolas Cage was wronged,
let's say, everybody shut the fuck up.
Everybody shut the fuck up.
They wanted to see what was going to happen next.
And there was just whispers occasionally
for the next like hour and a half.
Were there any no good nicks in the group?
No snoring in the whole thing.
Oh, no.
No snoring.
There were no good nicks. Everybody,? Oh, no. No snoring. There were no good nicks.
Everybody... I watched it with some guys that I play games with.
So, like, me and Nitty
and Urban and Chiz
and I think maybe Slate
and Lofty's. I don't know.
A whole group of fellows who were
wildly different age groups
from, like, 18 or 19 years old
to, like, in their 30s and everybody
just agreed it was it was very fucking good and we were all happy we watched it nobody was
zoning out or anything strong movie strong performance from nicholas cage too he's got
a moment where he sort of breaks down yeah and you see his emotions go from just he's just
shattered emotionally and sad to just complete rage to just to like almost laughing
like it that's what seemed like actually that was the i think the best part of his acting in the
whole thing is like it wasn't an over-the-top meryl streep like woe is me weeping it was more of like
a this is probably what you'd actually behave like if something very traumatic happened to you like
you'd have so many waves of emotions coming at you where you're just overwhelming sadness,
then overwhelming anger, and then a combination of the two, and then helplessness.
I don't know. I think he did a good job showing all of that contemporaneously.
Within 90 seconds, he ran the gambit between all those emotions,
like up and down, and all of them were at a 10.
He was as sad as you can be,
as angry as you can be,
as distraught as you can be,
as shattered as you can be,
and he just went up and down,
like playing a musical instrument through the notes,
through those.
It was a good fucking movie, man.
I gotta say, I'm glad that we watched it.
I remember seeing the previews
and we watched a trailer for it
weeks ago or something like that.
I was glad I got to see it
as early as I did.
I'm looking forward...
I don't know of any other ones coming out,
but I like novel movies like that.
I didn't feel like that fit into any kind of archetype
or one genre.
Like you said, it was some horror, some thriller,
some action-adventure. it kind of touched on a lot but it didn't do that uh jack of all trades
master of none thing where it kind of failed at everything it didn't feel like it failed at
everything it really was a thriller more than anything i think like i want more shit like that
like something else that really has me pulled in and thinking and i don't know what it is i like
that warped perception you get. Have you seen The Game?
Yeah, I've seen that. That has Kirk Douglas in it, doesn't it?
Yes, that's the one. I wasn't positive I had the title right.
It just sounds Mandy-like to me.
It really sucked me and that thing had me completely
engaged. Yeah, I haven't seen that in years
but I really liked it when I did.
Have you seen that, Kyle? The Game? I don't think so, actually.
No, not the rapper, goddammit.
The movie. Yeah, I'm looking at it.
Michael Douglas, Sean Penn.
No, he's Googling.
I think we're Googling independently right now.
Yeah, when I put in the game, the rapper came up.
The game, not the movie.
Oh, Michael Douglas, not Kirk Douglas.
And then Sean Penn.
You say tomato, I say tomato.
I don't know.
Kirk Douglas is a great death pool pick right now. I don't know. Herk Douglas is a great death pool pick right now.
I don't know.
He survived that stroke.
It's not like you survive strokes
and they make you stronger.
You bounce back twice as strong.
They really say whatever doesn't kill you
makes you stronger, except for strokes.
Whatever doesn't kill you
makes you stronger. Not strokes. that'll make you slur and not
be able to drink out of straws yeah every dentist appointment's easier it's a real relief to have
that oh finally a break from swallowing
i hate the dentist getting my hair cut i'm not afraid of any of it. I just hate sitting still that long.
I have friends who actively enjoy haircuts,
and it blows my mind where they'll be like,
oh, yeah, I like getting the scalp massage.
Like, the only reason I even get the neck shave
is so I can wait an extra week before my next haircut.
Yeah, I haven't.
I think it's been months.
It's probably been two and a half months
since my last haircut.
I don't know. I just don't want to go do it. Your hair doesn't look that long at all. It's been months. It's probably been two and a half months since my last haircut. I don't know.
I just don't want to go do it.
Your hair doesn't look that long at all.
It's so long.
Like, if it's not, like,
doesn't have gel in it and it's not combed,
like, it's down here.
Kyle can style his for the show
such that it looks relatively consistent
for, like, nine weeks of being uncut.
Yeah.
I think Kyle's hair is much finer than mine.
Where like if mine gets too long, it poofs.
I don't know.
It's gigantic.
I mean, I get a handful of stuff and get crazy,
and then I brush it all down and part it.
So it's all in the routine.
Well, there you go.
Shows anyone can do it if they spend $90 a week on Amazon cosmetics.
I actually cut my hair at the point where it looks best which you'd think i would want the beginning of the haircut and end
like to straddle that you know max look but uh the trouble is i need it short because well one i sleep
with that sleep apnea machine so if i wake up with long hair it looks awful um i wear a helmet almost
every day in one way or another the motorcycle or the paramotor and if i with long hair it looks awful um I wear a helmet almost every day in one way or
another the motorcycle or the paramotor and if I take that off it looks terrible sometimes I wear
baseball caps or something because I'll do like tractor work or something so I need a hair that
doesn't get messed up by headwear which is why it's short yeah yeah yeah I am but yeah I enjoy
the haircut I just don't want to go through the whole process of doing it because I'm really
particular about I've had some bad haircuts and it's a fucking disaster. I just don't want to go through the whole process of doing it because I'm really particular about...
I've had some bad haircuts, and it's a fucking disaster.
So I won't have that anymore.
So I travel like 40 minutes to get my haircut.
My barber are...
Like, every customer is a guy,
and the barbers are guys.
The barbers are guys.
And I guess I just...
They're not even Italian,
but it's the kind of barber that in Jersey would be like an older Italian barber kind of joint.
What is yours like?
It's about half black, half white.
And I think it's all guys.
Okay.
Yeah, I just go to a man's place.
But I get a black guy.
Same way.
I get a black guy to cut mine.
He knows what's up.
He does a very good job. And he gets that straight razor out, which I'm a black guy. Same way. I get a black guy to cut mine. He knows what's up. He does a very good job.
And he gets that straight razor out, which I'm a big fan of.
Do you do a face shave while you're there?
No, I want that.
Or do you just get the neck done?
I just get the neck and the sideburns and stuff.
Have you guys ever had your face shaved?
I'm telling them no to eyebrow trim offers.
No, I don't.
Do you want to take care of those eyebrows?
No, and I'm offended.
You'd bring it up.
Have you ever had a face shave, either of you?
No, no. I don't want offended. You'd bring it up. Have you ever had a face shave, either of you? No, no.
I don't want that. I had it one time.
It wasn't that long ago, like three, four months ago.
basically, if I let it go, if I, two days
or three days, and it shaves off, fine.
If I go six or something, then the
removal process is painful, and it sucks, and it
takes forever, and whatever. So I'm getting my haircut.
I'm about six, seven days in. I'm like, like you know what let's go for the shave and i could tell
he didn't want to do it but it's on the sign there so you know we did it and uh it was like
gay like it was way more intimate than i knew i was signing up for suddenly he's like slathering
my face and like caressing it almost inch by
like centimeter by centimeter he's just working his way down you know like like tugging and pulling
and straightening like the different parts of me and the the shaving cream is like it's warmed and
it's pretty much lube right and he's just's just like, you know, reapplying and working. Did he put that warm towel on your face
and like hold it there with his hands?
He did, and it took forever
and it's like
60 seconds into this, I realized that I
didn't want it anymore.
And it took like
You know what? I actually only do a third of my face.
It's weird.
And it took like 35-45
minutes to shave my whole face like it was a slow
that's another thing because i've seen like like if you go to like the straight edge subreddit or
wicked sharp or whatever it is the wicked edge maybe on reddit there are people who are just way
too into shaving and it seems like in seconds you know boom boom boom boom eight seconds goes by and
their face is baby smooth i thought it it was going to be like that.
Yeah, he's an amateur it sounds like because those guys on Reddit,
I see those GIFs and stuff.
They shave a man's face like they're a window washer with a squeegee.
They're just like, wink, wink, wink.
I don't want that though.
I don't want some guy like, all right, you're the volunteer for the time trial.
Like the razor blade.
I did that in college where I like saw people shaving like that.
And they're like,
you can shave like this.
And it actually lasts like four days longer.
Cause it's getting deeper or whatever.
Like it's getting into the hair.
And I was like,
Oh,
that looks kind of neat too.
Cause that's how my grandpa always shaved.
It's like the,
you know,
using the whisker thing,
the beaver tail or whatever the hell Archer always talks about.
Like that silver tipped badger or whatever he he says.
Like and I bought a set up like for like fifty dollars for all that shit.
And I did it, I think, twice.
The first time I was like, careful care.
And it worked.
I didn't cut myself.
And the second time I did it afterward i was like this
is fucking dumb like why am i doing this like i'm not gonna start churning my own butter i'm not
gonna start sewing my own clothes like i this is this is a hobby i don't understand a straight
razor the kind that like you unfurl yeah and then you hold it like that yeah i didn't get a safety
razor i got the straight you went a step deeper than me.
What I got might have been called a safety razor, but it's not like a
Bic where there's like
an aloe thing or whatever. It was somewhere
in between a straight razor and a safety razor.
There's a double-sided
razor blade, which is
something that modern people aren't really
familiar with anymore.
You put in this thing
and screw it back
together that's a safety razor but people don't know what that is okay i i didn't even that so i
guess what i bought is a safety razor because that describes it exactly so i start shaving with it
and when i go with the grain now mind you i mostly shave with an electric razor and i'm just like
like it's an ineffective weed whacker so when i when i do this thing i do the first shave and i still
have stubble like good stubble like like like i didn't shave that day so i go again and then
eventually i go against the grain and now it's nice and smooth but the thing is i have like
a hundred micro cuts right my little micro cuts all over my face and And I don't break out in pimples much anymore.
I'm a grown-up.
I'm sort of past that.
But sure enough, something happened.
I had 100 micro cuts.
I did this like I'm a slower learner than Taylor apparently because I gave it like five or six times.
And by the way, I can't shave and then shave again tomorrow because these cuts need some time to heal.
So you've got to wait like three days or so. have a hamburger and it kind of hurt you know like like
it's not just you you think it's cutting the the whiskers painlessly but what's actually happening
is it's kind of pulling on them and like chopping them and and it probably sounds like maybe i'm
certainly not an expert in this but it sounds like maybe you didn't – you skipped the step where you like soak your face in like the hot steamy towel.
First of all, I'd shower, and then I had the little beaver thing, and everything was heated, and it was supposed to be like prime for cutting.
I spent enough time on the subreddit to learn the ropes ropes but i don't know because that makes a big difference for those of you who are going to shave anywhere uh is to get into a really hot shower and and spend some time
in there and that that turns those stiff bristly hairs into like soft spaghetti noodles that can be
shaved off really effectively without cutting yourself now i don't know that my beard whiskers
are anything special but my hair is really special.
Like my wife used to cut it sometimes, like on the back porch.
And if you stepped on it,
it would poke you like a splinter.
You'd have to pull out with tweezers.
Like my hair.
I get the same way.
It's like a wire brush.
With your hair on the ground.
Yeah, yeah.
So it could be that my whiskers are also
just a little more wire brushy
than your everyday whiskers.
This thing that I linked you guys,
that's what i use
like just to straighten up day to day it's called a i think a phillips one razor and it's fantastic
like if you don't mind a tiny little stubble look like because it's not going to get nearly
as close as like a real razor because it's electric but that's a great one like that
would be perfect for you kyle because i know you like keeping that stubble look. You don't like the clean baby face.
Yeah, I've got one.
I've got a thing.
It's got a digital readout on it,
and I usually do 2.5 millimeters,
and I did two yesterday,
and I felt like that's too much.
A little bit.
You took off too much, or you left too much?
Yeah, I took off too much.
This is two millimeters.
I can see the shading of the regrowth.
It'll be three tomorrow
yeah maybe maybe i don't i don't have those taylor jeans it's not it's not gonna nothing's
gonna happen tomorrow i promise i like i accidentally shaved way too much off uh three
or no i guess a month ago now like i four hours ago like yeah like a month ago i shaved like
way too much off and my girl was like oh yeah i can tell you shaved quite a bit i like it a little
bit longer and i'm like give it like four days like and it was fine like right but i don't think
anybody on the show even mentioned it yeah well you probably did it on a monday yeah like shaving
though i don't see why you want to spend more time doing it.
I have more fun brushing my teeth than I have shaving.
At least then I feel like I'm defeating something.
Like, aha, staying healthy.
Shaving, you just have to do that to not look sloppy.
I do enjoy brushing my teeth more.
I actually really dislike shaving, and a lot of it is my fault.
I let it grow just a day or two more than I should have.
If I shaved every second or third day, I would never have painful 20-minute long battles with whiskers.
Yeah, where you go one stripe down, and you're like, well, this is totally full.
Oh, I use an electric sha shaver so it's a different
experience but what happens is like i shave it and like i'll spend like two and a half minutes
on a spot before it's bare skin again and then i move on and it's oh i had a cool experience so
i was getting my haircut and i decided to shave on the way to getting my haircut
so i have my electric shaver in the car and I'm just shaving, shaving, shaving.
And then I'm at a stoplight by myself.
So now I take the opportunity
to do some of the detail work,
you know, the sideburns and whatever.
And I'm doing like my nostrils.
Sucks.
But my reality is that
like on the very tip of my septum,
I just blew a bubble.
On the very tip of my septum,
if I don't trim those nose hairs, then they can become visible.
It's not terrible, but it's a thing.
So I'm like working the little beard trimmer like on my nose hairs to get those things in tight.
You're like Robin Williams in Jumanji.
Just looking in that rear view of me.
Two guys pull up next to me at the stoplight, and they're laughing about the shaving.
And at first, they're just laughing at me shaving, and then I work my way to the nose hairs.
And they were awesome.
They were black guys, and it was like we were all on the same team.
They're like, yeah, brother, I hear you.
They're like, you got to do what you got to do.
This is the thing that guys sometimes have to do.
There's grooming involved.
And then you go, ha ha.
Yeah.
And then you roll your window out.
I don't know.
I can't describe it in words, but there was sort of a camaraderie there.
Like that brother's shaving his nose hairs right now.
Well, you do you, you know, this brother be shaving.
That's what he said.
I'm going to get these nose hairs
out, for real.
Yeah.
They might have sensed
my hood pass from the truck.
But, yeah, probably that was it.
But anyway, yeah, I don't know. Keep me dropping hard bars.
Yeah.
But, yeah, there was a sense of
community there.
You just sensed it too, I think think if you were there but but yeah i totally got busted i feel that sense of community
and alliance like you know when you go into places in public kind of like you were just saying where
you feel an alliance with people that you have nothing in common with i feel that at the dmv
because i feel like it's all of us against the government
where we're all sitting like someone i would never associate with will like be up there and
like turn around realizing they don't have a form and like they can look at me and i'll be like
what are you gonna do am i right like you know everybody has the understanding of like oh my god
these people are genuine fucking retards like these are retarded people it's like i bet i
disagree with you on so many things day to day, but we can come together and hate the government right now.
It's beautiful.
I've been on DMV a couple times lately.
They're very good here.
Oh, mine is not.
No, there's different DMVs.
I went there with my daughter when she got her license at 18, and that was awful.
The line was around the block, the block. And it took hours and it was terrible.
But I had the same sense of camaraderie as you.
Now, when I get license plates and stuff, that DMV agency is amazingly good.
You walk in there, you have to have your shit together, you know, know your insurance number.
But if you do, then you're in and out in a heartbeat.
The line that seems long is curiously quickly moving.
I don't know. They're just efficient
at their jobs. There was one DMV
in the St. Louis area years
ago. I know it was
around until I was probably early
20s. It was probably five or six years
I went there to get stuff done.
It was the only one in the whole area
that was privatized. I don't know what
the deal was, but they had some sort of contract.
It was a privately run DMV.
And so I would go there, and it was quick.
Because the fucker doing the work knew, hey, if I don't do this, I'm going to get fired.
If I don't get a certain number of people through right now, I'm going to get fired.
And that was great.
And then they got rid of that contract, and I showed back up again not knowing that they had gone back public.
And I was like, God, fucking Alice over there is going to get fired.
And no, they didn't.
They realized immediately they can just fuck around.
Oh, I hate the DMV.
I hate the Social Security Office.
I hate any of those government buildings where you just feel overwhelmed, where you get up there, and you can be so sure online.
I've got all my forms and everything, and then there's always a new one or always a new something.
I can't imagine what Kyle has gone through with bureaucracy over the years just to get all your shit done.
You hire a professional to do all the work for you and you show up early and you have binders full of things that you know you're not going to need because occasionally you'll need one out of the 20 things you brought.
When I go to the DMV, I don't have these issues really.
I get up the crack of dawn.
I show up when, I show up about 20 minutes before they open their door.
And I'm the first one in that fucking door.
And they are bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, right?
It's not, it's not the middle of the day and they've been through,
I mean, you think, the people, the people at the DMV don't enjoy the DMV.
They hate it as much as we do.
So, like, you get there early and, you know, they're good to go.
And I, I, it's overkill.
I bring way more shit than I need.
I've got fucking bills and
social security card,
my original birth certificate.
There's no fucking around.
I've got everything.
When Hope got her license, I went to the DMV
repeatedly and it was always a shit show.
One,
I would want her to accept like some
responsibility of it you're like hey you're gonna need your social security card your birth
certificate you know get your shit together and we show up and her act was not together that that
was part of the problem uh also now maybe i should have known this a little better we get there at
noon five hours before they close it turns out that's not early enough to be seen that day
by like 2 30 p.m i'm like are you guys gonna get to us and they're like what's your number yeah no
probably i would just go home you know we're not gonna get to you today and like you need to get
here you know by like 9 a.m or so if you want to be seen same day if other businesses tried to run
like that they'd be like i ordered my pizza four you want to be seen same day. Can you imagine if other businesses tried to run like that?
They'd be like, I ordered my pizza four hours ago.
I'd be like, honestly, at this point, you should probably fuck off.
We're not getting your pizza today, sir.
You can eat shit.
Did you see the Barstool Sports pizza thing?
Yes.
Can I throw it out there real quick?
I'm not familiar at all.
There's a YouTube channel called Barstool Sports,
and I guess they're doing this nationwide pizza review.
They go in, they eat the pizza, they give you a score on it.
He comes out of...
It's very popular.
It started in New York, and he takes one bite.
So he gets your pizza, and he samples it based on one bite.
And it's actually really all you need.
And he'll tell you how the crust is, the crunchy, the heat, the this, the that.
And he's popular.
The first time I found them, he was there and he had all the cast from the Avengers.
And people on the streets are coming up, right?
He's got Thor next to him, the Incredible Hulk, but, you know, the actors.
Hawkeye, etc.
It was actually the cast of that Hide and Seek movie, which had some overlap.
Anyway, people on the streets are like oh my god oh my god you're the pizza reviewer right so kyle go on he goes to
this place called goodfellas i think it's in lexington kentucky it's in kentucky that's all
it matters and uh he comes out he's standing on the porch of this place and he's he pulls out this
enormous slice of pizza.
It's a huge New York-style slice.
I mean, it's big.
Like three slices.
No way I could eat two slices of this.
And he takes a bite, and you can hear it crunch.
And he goes, it's ice cold.
It's ice cold.
A guy sold me pizza, and it's cold as a fucking igloo.
And this guy goes, hey, do you have permission to film on my patio?
And he's like, no.
He's like, well, get out of here then.
He's like, all right then.
Zero.
Zero point zero for the first time.
And, like, there are people, like, on a separate patio eating.
And they're like, you threw out Barstool Sports?
You done fucked up, bro.
I went to their Yelp about 10 minutes ago.
And it's like, due to
social media,
due to a social post,
we are monitoring this page
currently. And I look at the reviews
and it's all these one stars. And there are pictures
of that guy being like,
my patio?
They're like, fuck this guy
and fuck his shitty cold pizza. was on the top of reddit i
saw this probably kyle did too because it was like number one or it was top three on reddit
like 27 000 upvotes when i caught it crazy see barcelo sports i follow like all their accounts
on twitter they're they're huge jenna marvels exploded in the last couple years did you know
that jenna marvels uh oh you that? I don't know about that.
You don't know Jenna Marbles at all? I know who she is.
I had no idea she had anything to do with the sport.
I think that's where she got her start. I could have
it mixed up, but I think that's where she got her start.
She was associated with them.
But yeah, they're huge, and the guy is
super popular, and his pizza reviews
off of a bite
are surprisingly good.
He knows everything he needs to know based on
a bite so it's kind of cool and it's he's like he's just a troll like of the videos i've watched
on youtube like not like a mean-spirited troll just kind of a troll like because one of the
series i've watched his name is dave portnoy uh el presidente is his twitter account i think
and uh he's this like shorter guy i think he's a was a comedian maybe and he
like has games that he plays with like nfl guests that'll bring in and nba guests and like all these
like legit stars will come in and do these these things with them and the one he does with the nhl
is he puts on like shitty street hockey goalie equipment in his big wooden warehouse and And he has a net and he's always like talking shit.
Like,
yeah,
we got Morgan Riley coming in today.
Not afraid.
One bit place for the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Tell me the last time they've been a threat.
He's clearly not helping.
I'm not worried about this guy.
One bit,
not one bit.
Am I worried about Morgan or Taylor Hall?
Taylor Hall led the league in scoring.
Not against me.
Won't don't think so.
And,
and he'll,
and he'll get there
and the players will like have an idea of what they kind of have to do and he'll be like all
right you're gonna have a tennis ball on the wood floor and you're gonna be like 30 yards that way
and they're like what there's just no way i'm gonna be able to score on you and he'll go
starting with the excuses already these nhl guys constantly trying to do it trying to do it and like every once in a
while he'll piss one of them off enough that they'll be like talking to his buddy they'll be
like I'm just gonna can I just take a slap shot at him like can I just shoot it as hard as I can
at him and they'll be like yeah absolutely definitely do that do that and he'll and
they'll just try and punish him and he'll it's a really funny series because he gets under a couple
of their skins and then every once in a while when he does just get blown the fuck out, it's just excuse after excuse.
He'll be like, God, you know, like Logan Couture from the Sharks is blowing him out like five for five.
And he's like, God, I didn't say anything before because I don't want to be a complainer.
I'm having a bad back day.
OK, I'm not going to say anything about it.
My knees are shot.
My back hurts.
I'm hungry.
It's hot.
I'm hungry.
And it's hot out. And so I hope you feel real good about beating hurts. I'm hungry. It's hot. I'm hungry and it's hot out.
And so I hope you feel real good about beating me while I'm sick, Logan.
I hope you feel real good.
It's funny.
He's a very funny guy.
So good for him.
What if it's the same guy? It seems like they're the most un-PC sports company out there, which is probably why they're exploding.
They're willing to say anything.
Apparently there's a market for that.
But your sponsors get mad at you hypothetically yeah i'm sure they've had a couple we should go do
uh pizza reviews on no bites we just uh all based on look
that's funny though
Pizza Hut by the way
Has these now
Cinnabon
Cinnabon minis
These are from last night but I bet they're still good
How many are left?
I only
There were 10
And I ate 3
So
Look at that Sugar a lot of you know what it does look good
but i would i i turn my nose up at that sort of thing i i swear it feels like if i fall off the
bandwagon slightly now it's you know i have to be good for a week. It's not fair. That's not the kind of food I go to for cheating anyway.
I would rather have
a normal
few slices of pepperoni pizza
than the Cinnabons.
They came with the pizza.
Well, they didn't come with it.
I ordered them.
But they did arrive together.
It came with Cinnabon cookies and soda
it just does
if you didn't do your classic thing
we were like
this is fine but it's not what I was imagining
I'm going to order something else
that's kind of what
it was late we were watching another movie last night
we watched Shaun of the Dead
because some of the guys had never seen that
and so I ordered a pizza and those Cinnabons
and I ate like two slices of pizza and
whatever, three of those Cinnabons, and that was
all I ate yesterday. But it was
delicious. Very tasty.
All my other delivery options were closed.
Right now I've got some food
ordered for, it'll be here in an hour.
I ordered ribs, so I'm pretty excited
about that.
I saw something, I can't tell if it's a joke or not
on twitter but uh that gritty has armed uh or like guards around him now because so many people
have tried to assault him as like oh poor gritty poor gritty gritty's amazing he probably just so
popular he's worried about assaults but they're just patting him on the back!
They're coming from out of the woodwork just to be seen with him.
They're trying to get selfies.
Okay, that's it. I think they're trying to throw him an ass whooping.
Gritty? Why would you?
I don't know why you'd want to beat up Gritty.
He's probably just an intern in there.
You know who hates Gritty? The guy in that suit.
No. That guy in that suit.
That guy gets paid well. We talked about this a few weeks ago. I was asking if you wanted to be the mascot
for the Blues, and I was shocked that you
wouldn't take that job, because I bet you get season
tickets. I bet you get paid fairly well.
I bet that guy's getting paid.
I wouldn't get paid as a mascot.
It's time for Google to tell us
how much do
pro mascots make?
I wonder, like, 25,000
a year in the minor leagues,
60,000 in the NFL, NBA,
MLB, and NHL.
Alright, so you'd be like, that's way
more than I thought. You'd be like,
medium household income
just by, what do you do?
You know, I'm an accountant, and I work
here and there. What do you do? I dress up as a I work here and there. What do you do?
I dress up as a...
Are you familiar with Gritty?
He's like an insane snuffleupagus.
It's a very abomination.
He loves hockey.
My job skills include operating a t-shirt cannon.
And a strong resistance to athletes,
but forged after years of struggle.
Do Gritty...
No.
No.
Not a lick. That's part of the thing i'm an nba mascot by trade that's when we talked about how much mascots made i wonder if the chicago bull makes a lot more if
you're not familiar with him he's like super athletic he could almost be a player he does
like double flips dunks off a trampoline and stuff like that. Oh, just like in the regular game.
Okay.
He could be that.
What was it called?
Slam ball.
He could have played slam ball.
Slam ball needed like full contact.
They needed some guys throwing fucking punches.
Oh, it didn't have punches, but it had full checks and clear boards like hockey.
It had like ramming.
But that wasn't even, I don't think, what caused most of the injuries in slam ball.
It was coming down and breaking your ankle because you couldn't gauge where you were.
So one leg comes down on the trampoline, the other one comes down on the hard thing, and you just snap.
Did people ever work the timing right so one guy would get super launched?
Super bounced.
That'd be great i didn't know you could time that so well but i i watched a reddit little gif recently
where there were like two big dudes right they were like 16 and one guy who must have been like
11 and they timed him so he bounced extra high and then they did it again and he did i don't know
five seven flips.
And while he was doing all those flips, they slipped a mat on top of the trampoline so he had an extra soft landing.
It was incredible.
I don't know if I can find it again.
Yeah, I've seen it.
It's crazy.
Yeah, you can time them really well. Like, honestly, it was scary as a kid, though, to get more than one super bounce going.
Like, one super bounce and you're literally eight, ten feet in the air.
more than one super bounce going like one super bounce and you're literally eight ten feet in the air one super bounce like i've never had a super bounce that came expectedly they're always
unexpectedly so your legs kind of like i'm always like like oh no i'm slightly rotating forward this
wasn't the plan you know yeah i i'm no trampoline guy we did a lot of We did a lot of trampolining when I was a kid.
My friends, they all had trampolines,
and each person's house was a different trampoline experience.
At my house, I set up square hay bales next to it so we could crash into those if things went poorly.
It doesn't hurt if you hit a pile of those.
My other friend had his next to his pool,
which also means it's next to concrete,
which is a little good little
bad yeah you're playing the odds on that one little hit and miss and then my other friend had
um like a two-story house where the back side of the house seemed much higher off of the ground
than the front side of the house because it was on a slope and uh he had a porch on the second
floor facing the backyard then and we would just jump off the second floor
porch onto the trampoline or the trick was to be super bounced to the fucking second floor that
was the ultimate trick if you could you could super bounce someone to the point where they were
back in the house on the second grab the railing maybe on the outside you would
no it was just there bounce Bounce into the window.
There wasn't a window.
It's a flat porch, so you could just be there.
You just, like, superhero land.
Was there no railing?
No, not on one part of it.
Were you more commonly the bouncer or the bouncy?
I was not often the bouncy.
That seemed super hardcore to me and frightening for...
How old was I?
11? 12? You're putting a lot of faith into the hands of
the people bouncing you dude my buddy chad was one of these kids who who like just didn't give
a fuck he was the kid who in elementary school would like swing super high and then come out
and do double back flips and land he's also the kid who bit his tongue basically off at one point
uh because he landed poorly with his with with his doing the
you know michael jordan out yeah you know michael jordan would always stick his tongue out when he
did something cool he was trying to do that and i believe there were some power rangers uh is his
tongue fine now though as far as i know like it didn't affect him later in life but it was dangling
it was most of the way off i love that stuff like i i so i i've always been
into things that had some element of risk in them right whether it's from the little that the
hurricanes the trains the paramotoring the surfing the whatever and um motorcycles so a lot of people
will be like yeah clearly you make bad decisions you broke your leg you broke your arm you did this
you did that.
And I'm like, yeah, those are just small prices to pay to do interesting stuff.
Like that's always been what I accepted.
I went to this SIV course.
Everyone there was one of me, right?
There's one guy.
He flexes his chest and half of it doesn't do the thing because it's all ripped and everything.
And I'm like, do you have normal strength?
He's like, yeah and he looked normal except he like in a pose he would hit where you could see that uh and i think his tricep or bicep
or something was a little torn too and uh you know like everyone's just comparing like surgical scars
and permanent damages and stuff like that and i'm just like these are my people these are my people
like it you know i I fit right in.
They're like, yeah.
People say they're afraid of death.
They're afraid of living.
I've thought that, but it's way too corny for me to say out loud. But good on you.
Because in this environment, everyone agrees with you.
Any other tips, head coach, fortune cookie?
Yes, you're about to have a windfall of cash.
Lucky number is 17, 14, 11, 4, 6.
But in that group, that was the group that wanted to hear that message.
They all thought it was, these cars were worth the stories that earned them.
Fun stuff.
How is hockey going?
I saw the Buffalo Sabres
They're like, what, 1,200 days between winning records?
Oh, that was like the saddest infographic I've seen for the poor
I had no idea how hard the Sabres fans have had it
So Kyle, the graphic was
The Sabres started 2-1
Two wins, one loss And the graphic was the Sabres started two and one. Two wins, one loss.
And the graphic was like, for the first time since three games into the 2013 season,
your Buffalo Sabres have a winning record.
It was like Kevin had a winning record in five years.
And the last time they did, they were two and one.
They put it in days.
I forget if it was 1,200 days or 1,400 days or something.
It was just like well over 1,000 days since they had a winning record.
And their record is 2-1 that they're excited about.
And the last time, they were also 2-1,
which tells me it's not like they finished that season 50-20.
No.
No.
No.
I'm close.
No.
I'm close.
They didn't finish that season 51 and 50 no not even close in 2014
uh they like other teams would try to tank like the edmonton oilers like try and be bad and the
20 i think it was the 2013 2014 sabers were not trying to tank. They were really doing their best, and they were like the worst team in history.
Like in Family Guy, where the London Silly Nannies play the New England Patriots.
You know, like that's what it was so much.
The guys on this team had to go out there like,
all right, guys, you know, we're not going to win, but we can try.
We can try.
And they came in last place by an enormous
margin, but good for them. It's too early
to know anything. I'll
miss the next Blues game.
I might be able to watch some of it on Thursday.
Hockey's going alright.
Is Atlanta out?
Atlanta is absolutely out.
I don't think it went well for them.
I think they lost the five-game series three games to one.
So that's a shame.
The Onion sometimes runs articles about how bad teams are.
And the one I was looking for, I just Googled it,
was like Detroit Lions excited to see real professional football players this Sunday
as they'll be coming to visit.
Here they are.
Here's a story that takes place in Denver.
The Giants, excited about seeing a real NFL end zone up close,
excitedly running their hands along the white goal line
and huddling along the pylons,
members of the New York Giants were thrilled to see a real NFL end zone
up close before their game against the Broncos.
Oh, my God.
Hey, Eli Man manning come over here
check this out wow i've heard friends on the jaguars and browns talk about seeing the end zone
but it's just not the same as seeing it for yourself this is amazing i still can't believe
my eyes i got a friend who's a massive giants fan i'll have to send that to her oh i got a new i got
a new show for you to watch if if you want something that you can look at your phone while you're watching and uh and and get along pretty much
just fine it's it's on netflix and it's called norsemen all right it's a viking comedy show
it's fucking great season two is out um it's i watched it for like five minutes before i realized i was watching a comedy i was like all
right fucking vikings i love viking shows all right here we go bring on the raping oh there's
it's hilarious see here's the thing what you might think maybe in a comedy there's not a lot of rape
you would think tons of rape rape is an essential part of this story okay it happens constantly but they make the rape
fun all right so like like here one of the vikings uh he gets a new wife uh by splitting her husband
in half as is tradition and uh klingon tradition and and and and she's trying to fuck her she's
bent over the bed and he's he's trying to fuck her and he's been over the bed, and he's trying to fuck her, and he can't get hard.
Because he has never had sex that wasn't rape.
He's never had consensual sex before in his life, and he's like a 40-year-old man.
He's been a warrior, a pillager, a raper, a Viking his entire adult life.
He's never had consensual sex.
But he's sitting there giving like casual sitcom style
dialogue with like uh i am so sorry this has never this has never happened to me believe it or not
this has never happened to me it's like can you can you pretend not to want it like pretend like
fight off fight me away no i you know i could i can tell it's not real i can tell you don't
actually want me to go. And he gets upset.
It's really, really funny.
And the slave, they're trying to summon crops or whatever.
And so they're like, we need to start beheading slaves.
And so they kill two of them.
And then the third one, who's had a couple lines, is putting his head on the block.
And they're trying to get their men to return home safely.
And they see on the horizon a ship.
And he's like,
you know, we could just, you know, two heads might have been enough for the gods. Like,
for all we know, that could be them returning right now. How about this? We wait. That's not
them. You can kill me. We wait. And she's like, well, but it's pretty set in stone. You need three
heads. He's like, yes, it is set in stone. I understand.
But please give me just five minutes.
If it's not them, you can take.
You can do it.
I think it was ranked one of the best international comedies of last year or something like that.
It's quite funny.
Where did you see it?
Netflix.
But it's still very violent.
netflix okay but it's but it's still very violent and there's lots of like battle and rape and and pillaging and and and destruction and viking life like legitimate and the special
there aren't special effects but the uh the fight choreography the the sets the costumes are all top
tier like they you don't think oh this is just bjorn who who stumbled in off the icelandic
streets and now he's pretending to be a
bike like they all look the part they've got the beers and the tattoos and stuff it's uh it like i
said for the first five minutes i was like is this is this real what am i watching here because like
the slave is like asking if he's gonna get paid and, and they're like, no, there's no pay. He's like, no pay?
What kind of job is it?
It's not a job. He's like a quaff Roman that they captured, I think, is the story.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
And, like, they finally get to where they're going, and he's like, excuse me, I loaned you my cape back on the boat.
Could I get my cape back?
And the guy's like, this is my cape.
on the boat could i get my cape back and the guy's like this is my cape he's like oh well what a coincidence that we have the same tailor in rome and we each have the same family crest and he's
like yeah that is quite a coincidence isn't it he's like clearly that is my robe and the guy like
sticks his finger in his own butthole and comes he goes open your mouth he's like what sticks a
knife to his throat open your mouth and he like does an around the gums twirl with his shitty finger and he's like whose cape is it
it's your cape it's your cape and he's like the rich slave but the slave who barely escaped
getting beheaded is like was super poor and so he's not like as upset about being a slave and so
he's like you know hey show him where he's going to be staying now he's like honestly first couple
days are going to be rough they might come in like piss on you while you sleep or something but
after that really not that bad check this out he like goes to a chicken coop and opens it up and
like he walks in like and the rich guy's like, whoa,
this is where we're going to live now.
Yeah! Inside!
Ceiling! Roof! You not believe
how cold it is here when you don't have that.
Just trying to be eternal optimistic.
It's really funny.
He's speaking to the slave that's been there forever.
I feel like you guys keep spoiling all these crazy things.
No, there's 20 episodes of this.
We're delivering it so poorly.
He's talking to the slave that's been there forever,
and he's like, did you just come from the woods?
He's like, yeah, yeah, I was getting wood.
He's like, with no guard?
He's like, yeah.
Why didn't you run?
He's like, run?
I'm here voluntarily.
I was freed years ago.
That world out there is big and scary.
I like it here. I like it here.
There's nothing like back-breaking
toil for another man with no
pay to show you what life's
all about. It's wonderful. I love it.
Fucking funny.
The one chick has a necklace of
monk penises that she wears
because they're going to England or whatever and slaughtering the monks.
And she's a Viking warrior too.
So she has to get on the raping somehow.
So she forces the monks to let her ride them.
She rapes the monks and then she cuts their cocks off and wears them on a necklace.
They're very hardcore.
But it's they're very hardcore the vikings must have been terrifying right yeah because they were actually pretty good at fighting they're still big to this day uh they must have been giant back then and yeah they just i don't
know they seemed happy to fight and kill and i mean physically northern europeans like they're
the biggest people in the world right they're like like they're the tallest and like the broadest yeah those people average like six feet
yeah yeah that would i would not be fun to have them rolling up on your coast having to be like
all right just take a fuck ton of gold and then they're like all right we'll leave and then like
six months later they're like we we actually decided, fuck you. Like, we're back.
But we took the gold back, so you can't have that either.
You know, I'd love to renegotiate, but I can't.
The gold's not coming.
Yeah, I can't.
You're going to have to kill you.
Did you hear Nikki Haley's leaving?
I did.
I wonder why.
I saw so many people being like, oh no, Nikki Haley's leaving.
And I was like,
she's one of the most hawkish people
in the whole administration.
Oh, I forgot your stance on that.
One of Taylor's primary motivators
is no unnecessary wars, silly Taylor.
Yeah, no war.
Get us out of the fucking Middle East.
Enough is enough is enough.
So, yeah, I don't give one shit that she's out.
Eh, it seemed like a nice lady.
I thought she was doing a good job.
And, you know, everybody says that Trump's a racist and a sexist,
so having a female Indian as a key part of your administration
seemed like a good thing.
Yeah.
She's, I believe you.
She always looked really white to me.
She's Indian.
No way.
Yeah.
Now that Kyle said it,
I kind of remember having heard that before.
But she looks white to me.
Yeah, they're saying.
See, that's not fair.
She can't claim to be Indian.
They were just going to
investigate her for taking private flights on jets from like businessmen she knew and they're like
isn't it coincidental that uh the day after they look into this uh ethics problem she retires and
i'm like really i hadn't heard about that at all. That seems like small potatoes for this administration, right?
Get back to me when she buys some $90,000 kitchen top or something, right?
Like, that's more par for the course around here.
Take it a flight?
Whatevs.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't.
I almost, like, didn't have an opinion until I saw lots of neocons
who are always like,
intervention, intervention, intervention,
get over there, do this, that, and the other thing
in fucking Afghanistan and Iraq
and wherever in the Middle East.
Until I saw that whole cavalcade of people
being like,
this is the worst thing ever.
Now who's going to represent
our imperialist interests
to the rest of the world?
I'm fine with it.
You're kind of happy she's gone.
Yeah, I'm withholding judgment.
She might have just been done working.
She might not like the job, right?
That could be why.
She gave 12 weeks notice or something like that.
Yeah, that's interesting.
She anticipated they're going to find out in about three months, four months about this whole fucking plane thing.
No, no, no.
No, you have it backwards, though.
She just announced it now, and she's working for the next 12 weeks.
But yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, Nikki Haley's gone.
I always kind of liked her, although as Taylor explains his issues with her, I'm kind of adopting the same whatevs.
It's not like she was the one writing the policy, though, right? So as Taylor explains his issues with her, I'm kind of adopting the same whatevs.
It's not like she was the one writing the policy, though, right?
She's a mouthpiece.
She's the one who goes and says these things that are the opinions and the positions of the administration.
That's true, but the U.N. ambassador has quite a bit of leeway in how they present things.
Like, they're all the way over there.
Yeah, that's true. And I feel like some administrations are very hands-on,
like Clinton, Bill Clinton,
was known for sort of doing it all himself.
And then other administrations, like Reagan,
were kind of known for just hiring the people who handled that on his behalf.
Yeah, more delegating.
And I feel like Trump is one of those delegators too.
For sure.
That was kind of a theory before he was elected.
This is the guy who will find people who are good at doing jobs.
He only hires the best.
Only the best.
Best of the best. Ask anyone.
Until I fire them.
Or they get arrested.
Or they quit.
Yeah, so we'll see.
I don't think it's going to matter too much what happens, who jumps in.
No, not at all.
I hope it's somebody that we know, so that
it's fun. I hope it's somebody fun.
I hope it's like a silly choice.
Ben Carson would be good at that job.
I mean, he's black
and a doctor.
He is running.
He's already...
Everybody's worried about global warming.
I'm the trash man.
Send me all your trash.
Ben Carson runs the.
Some sort of like urban development thing.
Yeah, HUD.
He's running HUD.
Yeah, he's already got.
That was kind of the joke.
He already has his like completely unqualified job.
He lived in government
housing he knows what's up well you want some white fucking princeton alum in there no some
guy who's never even been down the block from a government house maybe someone who worked in a
hud previously oh please one of those dirty bureaucrats i think not who worked in training
in the swamp haven't you I can't name HUD employees.
I can name one HUD employee.
Ben Carson.
Top 10 HUD employees. Go.
Ben Carson times 10.
My top one favorites.
Ben Carson.
No one else even comes close, so I don't even name them.
I won't even list them here.
Their name's not worthy of remembering.
Have you ever heard this?
Am I making this up, or is this who it was?
Julian Castro.
I have no idea what that is.
That was the former U.S. Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.
Fucking cares.
Castro was.
See, that would be like,
that would probably be the best job to get in the secretary.
Like, you don't want to be secretary of defense
where everybody's looking at you,
secretary of state, high pressure.
Like, you'd want like secretary of picnics
or like something that's like more fun, relaxed.
I don't exactly know what secretary of the interior does,
but if it involves curtains, sign me up.
That bust is terrible.
Get rid of it.
That curtain thing turned out to be a lie,
all that money that was supposedly spent on curtains.
Really?
I don't even know the curtain line.
Yeah, that turned out to be fake news.
What was the curtain?
Who bought curtains?
Someone was...
Or who was lied about buying curtains?
Some Trump person was said to have spent like ninety thousand dollars on
curtains or something like that and then it came out that that was bullshit and then uh you know
cnn did not they they did nothing to like correct the story that's shocking rotten cnners yeah all
of them like it's so annoying to watch anybody in the political. Like, it really feels like on left and right, there's one dude who's like, hey, how about we mind our own fucking business?
And it's Rand Paul. Like, he really does. He seems like he's the only one.
Yeah. Who's like, hey, genuinely get us the fuck out of there. I don't like this.
It's like everyone else is like, hey, you guys suck, but let's go to war. Right.
Yeah, definitely. There's actually another guy, and not necessarily warish, but Trump.
Trump is very much like pulling out of trade deals
and not wanting to be the national protector of the whole planet
and stuff like that.
And I always get bamboozled.
Who's the CNN guy?
I think he's Indian.
Fareed Zarekhan?
What's his name?
You guys don't know him?
I'm not going to know that, no.
You probably recognize him if you heard about him.
I'd recognize him if I saw him.
He's an Indian guy.
He's not an everyday contributor.
Anyway, he has these really well-thought-out points,
and he explains what these alliances are doing for America
and the advantages of being kind of the center of the world
that are hard to quantify.
He lays them out there.
And I hear that, and then i hear like but really like
we spend a six billion dollars on like german military outposts and then in return we get
positive vibes right like that's what it is you don't understand these positive vibes are
essential for our trade and i'm like ah but are they i don't know like you
made a compelling argument so i'm really on your team for the next 90 120 seconds
you had me there for literally a minute i'm mostly just baffled by this and and i i find
that unless you're really an expert on this and sometimes you can't even know right sometimes
you're comparing like what happened to what might have happened. And unless you live that alternative timeline, Rick and Morty style, you don't know with any certainty.
And we just we dump so much money. You're right.
Into like nonsense in Germany. We just we just signed 38 billion dollars to Israel in military aid over the next coming years.
And it's set up in a way that it can't be undone by by future politicians or anything
like it's set in stone it's like what 38 billion to israel like israel is pretty rich they're doing
great like why would we give that much money to a country you don't understand occasionally they'll
tell us a secret they learned from sand people or sell our military secrets to russia or china
you know six of one half dozen yeah. Yeah, you know, we all
have our little skeletons in the closet.
Little skeletons.
It's more like, I just want all that shit done.
Like, why are we giving foreign aid anywhere?
Like, we have so many people here who need help
that could be helped.
That's one thing, like, I will totally concede
with, like, the socialized healthcare people.
It's like, yeah, you're right. If we had our military
under control and we re-evaluated a lot of these handouts and and government welfare
programs that's a reality we probably we could achieve that like it's just with our current
structure we not saying that like i'm you know two legs in for that for that plan but it's like
it's not this impossibility the liberals have two expensive things that are kind of in their
on their wish list and one of them's health care which you mentioned the other one is free community
college and so let is free community college.
And so let's skip community college
and think about the investment
that high school has had for America, right?
America has one of the best educated workforces
on the planet.
And no business would ever commit
to 18 years of education before there's any payoff.
But a government can do that.
What if people could self-select to go for two more
and say, you know, I want to be one
of those guys that's a little better educated?
What if school included two years of community college?
It's not crazy expensive, right?
A semester of college, community college is what, like $1,500, something like that?
Yeah, go to the University of American Samoa, like Jimmy McGill did.
Fighting land crabs.
But they can't, like, my thing with the free community college
Would be
It has to be only for certain studies
There is no reason
For the taxpayer
Exactly
They should be STEM
Science, technology, engineering and math
If you want to go for engineering
That's a net benefit
What if it's welding
What if it's plumbing?
I think you should extend that to just job
training and not necessarily
training. My main thing is
I don't think you should be able to go, you know what?
I want to study English Lit and the
taxpayer is going to pay for it. Hey, I want to study
feminism for four years
and the taxpayer is going to pay for it. And then I'm going to come out
of college with no more useful skills
but a lot of anger and vindictiveness. It's i'm not gonna like no like it has to be a trade
school or something valuable that's going to contribute but if that were the case i could
see a point being made like you want a well-educated populace by block of the krav maga something like
that krav maga yeah i mean it's the most deadly martial art does everybody know what they're going to be for a halloween
episode no i don't know if i want to blow what i'm going to be yet but i ordered quite a few
things off amazon today and it's going to be i gotta get on top my wife occasion my wife suggests
costumes all over the map but for some reason she suggests vampire every three days i'm like no you watch true blood no okay never mind i dude i'm not
i i hate vampire i hate it as a costume it's my least favorite costume in the world my mother
handmade a vampire costume my brother was a vampire like nine of his childhood years or
something crazy like that over Over and over again.
I would personally like to see you as a woman.
I want to see
maybe that Lady Woody
little meme thing where they morphed
you into a woman.
Let's see. Let's get a wig. Let's get some makeup.
Get a nice clean shave.
I'm not going to be anything that's going to show up
on the subreddit daily for the next six
years and makes me regret it.
I liked Bounty Man, although everyone else hated it.
It's a plaid shirt!
And a paper towel roll.
And I think I might have had a beer, but I'm not sure about that part.
But, yeah, that costume I felt good in.
And I could do the show in it and such.
Be a spooky ghost with a hood with eyes.
This ghost wants you out of his neighborhood.
You're driving down property.
I'm a bad person for thinking that's as funny as it is.
But, uh, I'm a bad person for thinking that's as funny as it is. But I need a costume that is both good and it can't be too low effort.
I don't know.
Kyle, are you going to go through with your plan A with the professional makeup artist and fat suit?
Yeah, quiet, quiet.
What are you doing?
Why are you spoiling my idea that we told no one?
No, you literally said it on the show.
That's not true.
No, we only told the Hangout people.
I don't think that's true.
I don't think that's true.
That's absolutely true.
We're all good.
But just one word to answer, Kyle.
Is that still a plan?
Yes.
I was laughing to myself the other day
thinking about that. Well, shit. I'm shocked by that I was laughing to myself the other day Thank you for that
Well shit
If
If Taylor's gonna be that
I almost feel like I should balance it from the right
Right
Just be your embarrassing
Faction
Hey I say go for it
No that's a terrible idea on my behalf
Whatever I just picked something
I thought would be really funny
Or you could be
This guy
No, it was him last year
Alright, we should wrap
I gotta get on the Halloween thing
Alright, that's PKN
Episode 216