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Painkiller Nearly, episode 237.
Fucking push that button.
I pushed it.
Yeah, push it hard.
Push it fast, even if it doesn't want to be pushed.
I want to be like, I pushed it repeatedly,
but that's not how record buttons work.
Don't do that.
No, hit it at least three times if you're going to do it like that again.
Odd numbers, odd numbers.
So, Kyle, we've been talking about the lead-up
to your delicious Gordon Ramsay-esque meal for a while.
It finally came.
Was it everything you hoped for and more?
So I didn't order the king crab yet.
Oh, I know.
You said you went with snow instead.
Yeah.
Well, I just went and purchased some snow crab at a nice place nearby because I didn't know if my lady friend was going to like crab.
She'd never had it before.
She didn't like it.
Bitch.
She didn't like crab. she did she didn't like I
believe in Taylor's world that's room for dismissal what a cunt very surprised
wouldn't work out I thought she was for one there's two things she's got a pet
hermit crab so she's like like apparently she said it for years or
something like that so like every time I'm like breaking the legs and like, you know, I'm pretty good.
I'm no Taylor.
All right.
But I can operate snow crab.
You know, I'm, I'm popping the legs, pulling them apart, getting all the meat out.
I'm sucking the meat out of the body.
I'm, I'm cracking the claws.
I'm getting all the meat out.
It's, it's looking nice.
I made some drawn butter with garlic and old bay.
You know, I scooped off the, the, the milk.
That sounds good. I, it, you know, the buttered off the, the, the milk. That sounds good.
I,
you know,
the butter is almost clear.
It's got all the spices in it.
I'm dipping it in there.
I'm like,
yeah,
try this.
I,
I get her a big hunk of claw meat and she's like,
no.
And she's like,
has to drink something to get the taste out of her mouth.
Wow.
Even with the butter on there,
she hated it.
Yeah.
It's like drenched in like garlicky Old Bay-flavored drawn butter,
and she did not like it.
And it wasn't the best crab I've ever had,
but it was still a pretty good crab.
It was sweet.
It's still snow crab.
It seems like snow crab has a pretty consistent flavor to it,
even if you buy the clusters that suck,
you know what I mean, where you get a cluster,
and you obviously can't tell the meat situation when you buy it, but sometimes you'll get
a shitty one and you open it and it's just
like a little tidbit of meat.
Even then, it's not like the tidbit
of meat tastes bad. It tastes the same as
a really good one. It's just a small amount.
I'm surprised by her
reaction because if you had told me that
she didn't like the texture
of it, I'd say, yeah, some people are like that.
Some guys just don't like the mushy texture that I'd say, yeah, some people are like that. Some guys just don't like sort of the mushy texture
that you get from the whole seafood world, right?
Whether it be crab, lobster, fish, et cetera.
But not the taste of it.
No, I thought the taste of crab was just universally good.
Universally loved.
Yeah, yeah.
And so mild.
Especially drenched in butter.
Drenched in butter.
I literally had a ramekin with two inches deep of just delicious drawn butter that I had made myself, of course.
And then, you know, she wasn't liking it.
Well, that was more crab for you, right?
Did you tear through it all?
I ate two clusters and it was nothing.
I went through two clusters and I'm getting all the knuckle meat and I'm getting the meat out of the body.
I got every little bit of it it wasn't that much i can understand someone who's
never had crab try and meet from the body and being like oh this is this is fishy this is too
salty it's gross like i can understand that but the leg meat like crab meat is the most mild like
teeny bit sweet like there's there's nothing offensive about crab meat. Unless she owns a pet.
One of the shittiest pets I can imagine,
by the way.
So dumb.
I have hermit crab expertise and experience.
Did you guys know this? I used to sell hermit crabs
on the boardwalk.
The place where I sold hermit crabs
sort of offloaded
most of the hermit crab duties.
I don't know. 1980-something, I bet. They offloaded most of the hermit crabs duties i don't know 1980 something i bet
they all floated most of the hermit crab duties to the guys because you get hurt sometimes and
they're heavy and not the crabs itself but when you sell 500 of them the cage is taller than any
of us and it's gigantic and you have to like take it outside and hose it and shit and uh so i became
like a crab expert i've read two books on the topic and could give a
spiel about what they eat how long they live you know what you need to buy in addition to just your
crab to keep a healthy ecosystem for your crab at home and then the city had hermit crab beauty
pageants and hermit crab races yes the beauty pageant wasn't really about the crab you just
grab any old big fucker and then dress it in some sort of costume.
You're like, here's a wedding day crab.
Yeah, a little hot glue.
Yeah, bedazzle the fucker.
Put a little wedding dress.
I wish I could scream.
You know the long train?
500 million years of evolution have led me to this.
The long train that makes on a wedding dress.
So there they are walking and they've
got that shit and maybe a top
hat, a little couple involved.
And yeah, we'd make, we'd
go for the, if you could win the beauty contest
or win the
race, which helped
a lot that we'd have like, you know, and here
again, Old Salt with their 44th
entry in the race.
We did okay.
No, it's got a string attached to it.
I told them that.
Yeah.
Taylor, you with your one crab are going to have a hard time being faster than our, like,
you know, anyone that looks, like, moderately healthy.
We'd enter.
So anyway.
Yeah.
And then, you know, for the rest of the year, we'd get to be, like, healthiest crabs on
the boardwalk.
2017, 2019, and 2021 champions or something like that. for the rest of the year we'd get to be like healthiest crabs on the boardwalk 2017 2019 and
2021 champions or something like that was it were you selling them for food uh what'd you say for
what like was it for food or pets or the hermit crabs oh they're just for pets yeah they're very
small like you couldn't eat a hermit crab oh i was getting i was thinking they were almost as big as
like a crawdad because i've eaten crawdads and those are pretty good you know i have never eaten
crawdads and i i i feel like i should but i'm afraid it's one of those things is that what i
caught on the survival trip yeah a crawdad it's like a crawdad or a crayfish or yeah yeah whatever
people call it i wasn't a big fan we boiled it up too and
yeah too yeah you can get very sick eating those in the wild on accident if you don't
we boiled it yeah no it was it was well cooked but it was still dirty like we didn't have a um
i think in real life what you might do is just pour water on it and keep water pouring on it
until it cleans out salt water or something
It makes them shit their guts out literally like all the shit really system. Yeah, I
Again, and during the survival trip. I was trying to remember
I watched a lot of videos in preparation for that trip. Mm-hmm, you know like things how to skin a rabbit
Never know we might shoot a rabbit right and it'd be good to know how to skin a squirrel how to prepare crawdads and uh the crawdad video this guy had like a bucket of them and i want to
say he was like pouring like tons of salt water over them like like like like pounds of like
salt and then water with a hose and it makes them shit all the shit that's in them out so that
they're safe to like just go at and uh but i couldn't remember that
video at all during the trip i'm like i think salt is supposed to be the thing is we didn't have
an excess of water i i think i brought the only water filtration system and uh the water it went
really slow and it was a lot of effort to pump it so like and it still tasted funny it still
tasted a little funny yeah well it was just it was clean tasted funny it still tasted a little funny yeah well it was just
it was clean pond water it does taste a little funny right like with those strainers because
it gets iodine in it or something didn't have iodine it was just multiple levels of filter
charcoal and stuff but um so the thing is we couldn't clean the crawl dads like you might at
home because we have a faucet to just run for 20 minutes. Yeah. But boiling them,
you know,
boiled pond water was still,
or Creek water water was still,
I mean,
that's clean,
you know?
So it was sanitary,
but not clean.
So I had boiled dirt in my crawdads and poo and anything else that was in it.
Yeah.
It was just awful.
As hungry as we were when he finished his crawdad,
Chiz and I were both like,
eh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was like the first night or something
and I was the only one that ate it.
But I also caught it.
So I didn't want to catch it
and just toss the thing to the side
and not care.
I love the Kyle survival show
where you're like, and here, we've got
five crawdads. We won't eat them
because they're gross.
where you're like, and here, we've got five crawdads. We won't eat them
because they're gross.
Have you, like, I'm
at the Dunning-Kruger level of survival
where it's like, I know
so, so little that, like, if I were
walking around in the woods, like, any plant
that I recognize, the only knowledge I'd
have would be, like, that's either
100% poison
or 100% food. Because those are the only plants that I recognize. i'd have would be like that's either a hundred percent poison or a hundred percent food because
those are the only plants that i recognize cheers you want some berries yeah cheers i found these
bright red berries that's you know what they say in nature the the bright color means it's
brighter the berry the sweet of the juice
so this is a frustration of mine across nature in general, right?
They'll be like, this frog is brightly colored, which tells everyone else that it's venomous.
Okay.
This frog is brightly covered, which tells everyone else, which tries to fool everyone else into thinking it's venomous.
It's like, is it possible that you were just full of shit, reverse engineering answers all day and night to fit whatever fucking protocol you wish it fit?
You know, like this thing looks like it's bad and it's bad.
This thing looks like it's bad and it's not bad.
Both of which it like was intelligent design of some sort.
Oh, fuck off.
This is just you saying bullshit that came to the you.
It doesn't make any sense.
bullshit that came to the you.
It doesn't make any sense.
And this rockfish, this dark brown black fish that
blends into anywhere in the sea, the most
poisonous fish out there,
is not bright because
well, God didn't want it that way.
Yes! Yeah, there's no pattern
to this stuff, but they try to make it seem
like there's a pattern. The brighter the berry,
the riper the juice, and then these other bright berries,
well, they just kill you.
Nature is a bitch. The brighter the berry, the riper the juice. And then these other bright berries, well, they just kill you. The sweeter the juice.
Nature is a bitch.
It's very hard to maneuver around.
And the more that I look into survival communities online, just reading stuff as a total dunce,
the more I realize the intuit survival people fucking hate Bear Grylls.
They think he is a phony.
They think he is a mother faker and like the only dude
who they like really give props to as far as those mainstream tv guys go less drought we're like i
remember even like when that show was out uh man versus wild or whatever his his one whatever the
less drought one was like he would show like him surviving after like six days in the Sahara.
And he'd be like,
well,
we're finally out of here.
I'm going to the drop point.
And he'd like walk to like a thousand yards away in like fast forward film.
And then it'd show him like walking back.
Like I can't leave the camera,
but producer said I needed that shot.
Like,
Oh,
this guy's exhausted.
He's real deal. Doing a hundred percent of this dude yeah he did that a lot like he there'd be a particularly sketchy like 14 foot drop on an icy
like i want to say cliff but 14 foot cliff right so not not anything too insane and yeah he'd have
the shot of him going down it and then there'd be the shot of him going back up to get the cameras that filmed him going down.
And oh my, that's the worst.
So I did in the day of the life videos
for almost a year or something like that.
Dude, everything you do is such a pain in the ass
when you add filming to it.
You know, I was working on the stable a lot.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
It's like putting the cameras in
and just doing it was half the work.
Filming it was the other half.
So I could appreciate
what Les Stroud was up to there.
Oh, it's tough.
He did great stuff.
There was one guy
who was just a YouTube guy
who does these challenges
where he'll go live in the woods
and survive.
Not with the Stone Age thing,
like the same kind of Les Stroud,
Bear Grylls,
like you bring modern day supplies
out there.
But he'll stay for like five weeks.
And all the discussions around that guy in those communities are like,
see this guy?
He's 30 pounds overweight, and he's been out there for five weeks.
This is the guy you trust.
He's gained weight on his survival trip.
This is the guy who knows what he's doing.
At no point has he ever said, I'm just trying to get enough calories.
He's flushed with everything.
And I was like, holy shit, that's really true.
When you're looking for a survival man, you want to find someone who's not shredded, low body fat.
You want to find a guy husky.
Dude, do you watch Naked and Afraid?
I've seen it before.
Only a handful of episodes.
Naked and Afraid, I also think is very real.
I think you can tell that by their body changes.
Unlike the guy you just mentioned, they often lose like 30 pounds.
You know, the women come in looking on the fluffy side of fit,
and they leave looking unhealthy, you know, just dirty and weak.
Is that even a survival trip, trip though or is it slowly dying
that's my favorite part they're like all right we have water with water i can live 21 days this is a
21 day challenge so if i just find like one or two snakes over the course of three weeks i'll live
and that's what they do they just slowly die and it's it's fascinating to me like which environments
are the worst like i would have thought rainforest was an easy environment before having seen this.
Because it's just really rich with life.
You'd think there'd be critters crawling all over the place.
Things you can eat, like lizards and snakes and what have you.
Mammals of one kind or another.
There's lots of supplies.
Not a lot of direct sun on you, like baking you.
And water.
It's a rainforest, so water is so abundant, right?
Rainforests kick people's asses.
The bugs just eat them alive, and they have no defense against the bugs.
There's no manly bug defense.
You're just fucked.
It's hard to start a fire, very, very hard to start a fire in a rainforest because everything is so soaking wet um the desert which i thought would be super hard
they they actually tend to thrive in the desert the one i saw that looked horrible and i probably
only saw three or four episodes but it was obviously a man and woman in a swamp okay like
and everywhere they had to walk was like knee deep in slime and horrible shit and i was
just like god you see the whole season yeah no no i i didn't see that whole season wait is it
they're one-off episodes aren't they naked and afraid yeah it's not like five episodes of the
same couple it's like one off i think i had tested last time i saw it was years ago but i remember because that
was the one where they showed the before and after as they always do and the guy was like
six four and like 240 big guy and at the end of it he had lost 55 pounds and the woman had lost
15 because the whole time like she was spouting the egalitarian thing of like you know he's like
all right well you caught the snake let's split it 50 like, you know, he's like, all right, well you caught the snake. Let's split it 50 50.
And the whole time he's like,
I guess so.
A lot of calories trying to catch this and I'm thrice your size,
but I guess you deserve half the snake.
There's a,
there's a guy in our Patreon hangout and I will call him out.
He might not want to be famous for this,
but he has a very negative opinion on women and what they bring to the table
in situations like this. Oh, spider pig hates women he's okay if we say that i so i agree
with subhuman creatures need to be caged and and where would society be if women ran it it it's
hilarious to me that like sometimes i kind of agree with some of his things.
I was talking to him at Hangout last weekend.
I see guys, this is semi-off topic, I see guys do things that go wrong,
and it's usually stupid guy decision-making. Like, you know what, I'm going to ride my BMX bike off a roof.
I see women that do things wrong, and it just seems like it's a different reason.
It's because they're klutzy ditzy,
like just had no idea they couldn't jump three and a half feet.
Like they just didn't know.
And,
uh,
and it's,
it's ridiculous how bad an athlete some girls can be.
Yeah.
Have you ever like gently thrown a ball at a woman and seen the look of
panic?
Yes.
They're like,
it's coming.
Yeah.
They suck at it. Oh my my god just not useful in a survival
scenario and i i saw two in a swamp did they catch like i don't know alligators or something
or giant snakes that weighed 30 pounds or oh they might have caught like a little caiman or something
like that one of those little alligators that like isn't gonna like it'll little hurt you if it bites you but it's not gonna dude when i'm swimming even little sharks are
scary to me fuck yeah they are oh yeah yeah not that i have that experience but i'm afraid of
little sharks in any scenario i'm at what if it bites your dick yeah dude the line i always heard
from like fishermen or other surfers is like dude don, don't worry about that one. At worst, you'll lose a few toes.
Unacceptable outcome.
Unacceptable outcome.
I don't want to lose a couple toes.
Your life is forever altered if you lose a couple toes.
This isn't something you're going to be joking about later at the bar tonight.
I've only watched like one episode of Naked and Afraid, and I turned it off immediately because it was censored.
You want me to watch Naked and Afraid? and afraid make naked and afraid uncensored and put that
shit on hb but only for the women only for the women i should be some dong too i don't want to
see man ass walking around i'll look look i'm an equal opportunity employer if you want to hang
some dong and survive i'll look at it a little all right get after it usually useful i'd like
to see his penile protection
strategies usually they get dressed almost right away they have a um what happens for episode one
what happens is they show up they get like a maybe two items right and two items is not a lot
so they'll be like a knife and a fire starter great good luck three weeks without a cup you
know like a drinking cup um you know like
so you really need like five things to even just live off the land and um and then that the items
they choose comes in like a a burlap purse for i with a strap and usually they take that and turn
it into some sort of skirt almost right away. Yeah.
If I were that guy and I were in a cold area, I would lie.
If I were the resident survival guy and the woman wasn't as experienced and we were in a cold area, I'd be like, I can already tell it's coming on.
I've got classic phallic frostbite.
I'm going to have to warm it up somewhere.
No, we're not fucking.
No, we're not fucking.
No, we're just going to soak.
Although I have to move a little bit or I'll lose it
my heart on
no there has to be blood in there
that combats the phallic
you don't know anything about phallic
freezing
survival
survival
the first time he told me he had phallic
frostbite I let him put it in because
it seemed real. It wasn't until the fifth or sixth time that I realized we're in Arizona.
See, baby, that's my gift to you. Now you're warm all over your titties.
So now I'm pregnant. Oh, no, I see. Maybe you didn't get where I was heading with that. I need
even more calories. Taylor, I understand that you have done a little bit of Wings of Redemption research as of late.
Is that correct?
Not so much research as I didn't do any of it.
Chiz, resident expert Chiz is the research man.
I basically was just sitting around on, chilling last night.
And Chiz, you know, I got to talking to him and he was like,
Oh,
this is a perfect opportunity because you don't know enough about wings of
redemption.
And I was like,
you're right.
A hundred percent of my knowledge about wings comes from the show.
Like I don't watch these clip channels.
I'm out there with you.
Yeah.
That's where I am with it.
Like I don't really have the desire to watch it.
Yeah.
Come on.
You definitely,
you both definitely have more history,
but I know Kyle's the most into it. and so there were a couple videos that were super fucking
funny i don't remember the title of them uh you'll have to go to ches for that but yeah i'm definitely
a little more educated it's a long way to go to be fair long long way to go so these videos were
they from like six years ago or are they like what are we what are you watching it was uh it was like the it was the twitch era of wings okay so it wasn't like super old stuff for the
most part it was just uh cut ups of him on twitch being like either rude to someone or saying like
a lot of the repeat of like ban anyone who does this ban anyone who says that ban anyone who uh
one of them was like ban anybody who jokes in the chat
and then the whole time i was like oh man like i guess they really weren't exaggerating the iron
fist he uses to rule that chat because like i don't know like maybe it's just me but i've found
that when you tell internet communities quit joking about that they tend to
amp it up i was doing that and seriously i did a live stream like three months ago and we would
basically my friend had a really tricky to repair paramotor and i was like you know we're gonna
repair it on stream and while it's painful to have all these people watching you perhaps if we harness
the collective knowledge of the stream they'll have ideas that we hadn't thought of yet.
It turned out our first idea worked and everything turned out cool.
But while I was doing it, I was telling the mods to ban people left and right.
Ban anyone that mentions Hope's Feet.
Mods, ban anyone that does this.
Ban anyone that does that.
Yeah, that's a real thing.
But I didn't have any mods, so I was just fucking around.
See, I like that.
That's a good bit.
You don't have any mods, and you're demanding that mods ban people.
Yeah, yeah, I was.
Yeah.
Did, forgive me, but I drank.
Did we ever talk about Winx rekindling his relationship with his father on the show?
No, I don't think so.
Was it on the show that you showed me that picture?
I know that we saw a picture.
Yeah, you showed me a picture.
That might have even been pre-hangout.
No, I think it was during the hangout.
Now, is that real or no?
Yeah, that's real.
Are you sure, or is that like a guess?
Look, I wouldn't bring you false facts, okay?
Fair enough.
I was a fool to have even questioned it.
I pride myself
in my Wings of Redemption expertise.
I call myself
a Wings of Redemption historian
with no
sarcasm.
No, this isn't Fox or CNN.
I trust you.
Fair and balanced.
When it comes to Wings of Redemption, I'm Fox News.
Fair and balanced. You can be one or the otherings of Redemption, I'm Fox News. Okay? Fair and
balanced. You can be one or the other.
Fox News or fair and balanced.
But carry on. That's the slogan,
goddammit. It's trademarked. I think they got
rid of it because they're like, nobody's even buying
their stuff.
It's like when Lucky Strikes was like,
healthy!
We gotta cut that out.
8 out of 10 doctors bribed by camel.
They smoke camel.
So he's rekindling his relationship with his father, you say?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He met back up with him.
I feel like it reminded me of that scene from The Waterboy
when Adam Sandler has become a national football star
and his daddy shows up.
He's like,
Bobby,
it's me.
Yo daddy Roberto.
Yeah.
I see you on the ESPN.
We're going to be like Tiger Woods and his daddy.
Yeah.
And he's got those like crazy lazy eyes.
My mama said,
what are you doing here?
Roberto.
Yeah. Roberto. Yo daddy Roberto. Yo daddy. my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my watching a bit of Sean Ranklin, he's like, oh, my boy's blowing up. I got to swoop in and get some of that YouTube money.
Well, that would be really shitty of his dad to do.
He looks like Hucklefester, his dad. I saw an online debate between Chiz and Wings recently
where Wings said that Chiz was telling lies
about him wanting to sell the car
and regretting the purchase.
So Chiz looked it up and quoted him word for word and the words were pretty much like
i regret buying this car and i want to sell it and it's like you know you're just not right if
that's what you said you know like yeah again i stay up to date on this shit like maybe i'll miss
a video a week but i go back and watch them.
I watch three in a row.
I stay caught up on his shit.
And look, he can say what he wants.
He doesn't know what he... He's...
Wings doesn't keep track of the things he said like you do.
Wings is bipolar.
All right?
Maybe some people don't want to face that.
Wings probably would argue that he's not bipolar.
But I've known some bipolar people.
Can I interrupt?
Yeah.
So bipolar to me just is someone who runs too hot and cold.
Do you have a better explanation for it?
Yeah, that's pretty close.
There are times when Wings feels like this about the world
and everything within it.
And then there are times where he feels like this.
It's almost like split personalities to some extent.
Well, it's like a manic depressive disorder
of what you're describing,
where you'll go through like a phase of mania
where everything's great, everything's the best.
I got plans.
I got, man, this is going to be good.
And then you peter out and everything's collapsing.
Life sucks.
There are some versions of Wings that are very
friendly and polite
and happy-go-lucky.
And then there's a version of him that's a real
scumbag.
And those are both him.
It's not like one of them is
his alternate reality
him, like evil Wings.
No, that's him too. They're both him.
It's just, you gotta catch him on the right
day. And look, he said that shit.
He was like, I regret buying...
I'm paraphrasing, not quoting, but
he said, I wish I hadn't bought the
Mustang. I regret buying the Mustang.
I would sell it. I'm thinking
about selling it.
These are his words.
And it's not like...
He always says, oh, these clip channels,
they take hours of my footage
and then they re-edit it
to make it look like this or that.
It's like, no, well, yeah,
they do watch you for two or three hours
because that's how long you're online.
But then they make 10 or 15 minutes
of you being a real scumbag or being crazy.
Dave Merho would take me a ride in it.
Hilarious.
Hilarious. Hilarious.
Oh, you see, yeah, someone tweeted,
or Wings tweeted today,
my babies, and he's got his truck and the Mustang.
They're in, I like the way that Mustang looks.
That looks really cool.
That's a Cobra.
That's an expensive ride right there.
I don't know what the modern one costs,
but you're probably looking at-
Oh, no, I was meaning the photo that Wings posted,
like his Mustang. I didn't realize it was black in the middle but you're probably looking at... Oh, no. I was meaning the photo that Wings posted, like his Mustang.
I didn't realize it was black in the middle like that.
I think it looks really good.
And then someone tweeted at him, have you seen at Merkaderka's new V8?
Of course it's a V8.
And then they send the Photoshop picture of me into the V8.
And I thought that was funny.
Yeah.
And he responded, maybe he'll take me for a ride in it, which I thought he's kind of tongue-in-cheek joking around yeah yeah he rolled with worker replied
the suspension can't handle that big boy he did not i did not respond his cars look pretty good
i think right there i think the mustang looks see as someone who knows fuck all about cars i see
that mustang and like i don't know of a i'm like a woman with cars where i like i'll look at it and
i don't know the engine i don't know what makes it super special but like aesthetically i think
that looks pretty damn cool it's okay yeah yeah it's it's not bad i don't like red cars that much
that's what i dislike about it most like i just don't think red looks i don't like the wheels
i think he needs the good i didn't even notice the wheels. That would make me happy. Those are the cheap wheels. You mean the rims?
No, I mean the wheels.
Like the tires?
The wheels are the metal part in the middle.
Oh, okay.
I don't know why they're not rims.
Kyle, why did you say he was wrong to say rims?
Rim's, to me, is what black people call fancy that's our rims what you put on the
outside of the wheel that's a cover it's a wheel cover i think yeah i i don't know why they call
them rims they're wheels they're wheels okay no i don't know why they call them rims and i refuse to
to do it but but uh but yeah the wheel he needs he needs nicer wheels he's talking about putting
full suspension and all kind of bullshit on that car
and a sound system.
It's like you don't put glitter on shit.
My problem with it is not a V8.
Or even the EcoBoost V6.
If it was the EcoBoost V6,
Ford makes that their pimpest motor.
I think it's more so than the EcoBoost,
but I could be wrong.
Isn't it still pretty quick, though?
In the truck, it's a six.
That's a thing that I know.
It's quick enough. I think it's a six that's the thing that i know it's quick enough i think it's a six in the mustang too but um uh anyway i just want it to be the top motor that that would matter to me but it looks good
clean yeah like i if it rides well and looks good that's my main priority or i guess rides well
it'd be number one like if anything like well when i lived in the city i would never buy a nice
looking car because it's going to get broken into my insurance was so much fucking higher when i
lived like in st louis proper than being out not in technically the city.
You know what I've been watching?
Hellraiser.
I watched the first one and I'd seen the first one before.
And I was like, this is a good ass horror movie.
I like this.
He's cool.
He's got that ominous voice and he's got all the
nails in his head and everything yeah and i was like yeah this guy so this guy's sweet and so i
went and i found hellraiser 2 uh today yeah and i was like i'm gonna watch hellraiser 2 ah it's
four dollars you know what i like the first one so much i'm gonna rent it awful awful and there's seven more of these i don't know if i'm gonna rent any more like i
what is the purpose like it seems like it really blew their wad on the first one but i figure you
know you've probably seen fucking all of them i've seen them all um you know i really like the first
one in the book um so so in the movie obviously there's that scene where the blood that splatters on the floor rejuvenates the dead guy and brings him back to life.
In the book, it's cum.
Hell yeah, that's cooler.
There's just a guy like, oh, yeah, oh, come back to me.
The cum gets on the floor, and he uses it as sustenance to come back to life.
I've seen them all.
I liked Hellraiser Bloodline because that's like a...
Is that a new one?
Nah, it's from like 15 years ago.
The new ones don't have the same actor as Pinhead,
and a lot of people find that actor to be a big part of the series
and a big part of why it was good.
He's very good at what he does.
Bloodline goes through the past
and shows you the entire history of the puzzle box.
And essentially it was like,
I don't know, I'm making this up mostly,
but this 15th century French puzzle maker
was contracted by this rich fucking guy who was into satanic worship to make this puzzle box.
Okay.
And he made it.
And then they opened the gates of hell and bring the Cenobites forward and bad
shit would happen.
And,
and what's,
and so that guy's descendant,
they got the,
the puzzle box makers descendant way in our future in like the year 2200 or
something is in like a space station or something,
and he's trying to fix it all.
And as he's trying to like fix this thing
and close the box forever,
there's flashbacks that go through
his entire family lineage
from like the 1500s to the 1800s
to like 1980.
So would you recommend this one?
Like you think this might be worth watching?
I liked it, but you know but it scared the fuck out of me
when I was 15 or whatever,
or maybe younger, maybe 12 or 13, I guess,
when I watched it.
It scared the fuck out of me.
I haven't watched it since then.
The first one's the best one.
After that, it slowly went to the torture part.
I want campy, yeah,
like that's kind of how Saw went.
Where like Saw 1, really fucking good movie.
It's really good.
I like Saw 1 a lot.
You want a good horror movie?
I want a good...
It doesn't have to be a super high quality horror movie.
I like campy, kind of shitty horror movies.
But I don't know.
I'm always looking for the diamonds in the rough of those.
Every once in a while you find a campy horror movie that actually ends up pretty fucking good.
You've seen the Conjuring movies, right?
Yeah, I've seen the first two.
That was the movie I was watching with my girlfriend when we were on vacation in Florida.
And she was getting so scared.
And then I invited Satan into my heart loudly on the couch.
Like, make me your vessel.
Take me, Dark Lord.
She did not appreciate that.
Yeah, I bet not.
I don't know. If you want super
campy, it's Killer Clowns from Outer Space.
I've seen that.
That's too campy.
I don't want them
to be aware that they're making a
shitty horror movie.
I like to watch a horror movie that they went into it making horror,
and it ends up being total shitty.
The original It, in my opinion, fits that bill.
I think I've seen the original It.
I watched it after I read the book when I was younger.
It's not very good.
It's not very good.
It's weird.
I don't know.
Chiz really likes Nightmare on street on m street i could never
get into those i can't get i don't like freddy krueger's not very not very scary it's more sci-fi
than horror but i've got serenity in my head did you get that yeah let me look it up let me make
sure that i've seen it is serenity is firefly it is but there's definitely horror aspects to it
they're you are basically monsters.
A whole society turns into monsters.
They look like horror bad guys.
Maybe too long since you've seen it.
Because I've seen it recently.
Wait, it says it came out in 2019.
The gas turned those people on that planet
into the Reavers.
Pretty much aggressive zombies.
Yeah, they're rough customers, but it's still kind of an action yeah it's an action movie
it doesn't get too scary in my opinion horror
is horror
you know what I watched last night
that was good
was the informant
with Matt Damon
in it where he
is the he's like on the inside of this corn manufacturing plant
and he like is in charge of the lysine production to then he's price fixing with the japanese
and the whole what spoilers but the whole way he's like having internal monologues for how
smart he thinks he is and he's like fucking it up the whole way where the fbi agents will be like
you've been wearing a wire and you
mean you've told your secretary and five friends that you're wearing a wire matt damon's like yeah
the people i trust what are you mad about it's gonna be fine and he just keeps fucking up and
fucking up and fucking up and in the end he ends up serving more jail than any of them because he
he fucked up so bad have you seen that that one, Kyle? I know about it.
I've seen the previews and I like,
I know the plot.
It just didn't seem like something I'd like.
I like,
I thought it was pretty good.
Like not enough to watch everything he does.
I think Matt Damon's pretty good.
I just don't like,
uh,
his buddy,
Ben Affleck.
I think Ben Affleck sucks a dick at acting.
Uh,
if you want to watch a good Ben Affleck movie,
it's the town.
That is a good one.
Yeah.
That's the,
that's the robbery one where they wear the nun masks.
That's the robbery one where they were, and it's got Jeremy Renner in it. That's his best
movie and man, he really peaked right there
and never recovered it. I'm not a big Ben Affleck
fan and I've given him a lot of chances.
Yeah, even in Argo.
Like, I thought that movie was good
but he doesn't do it for me.
I think he's a shit actor. You want to talk about whitewashing?
That's a fucking
Spanish dude he's playing, okay? I think he's a shit actor. You want to talk about whitewashing? That's a fucking Spanish dude he's playing.
Okay? I think he's, even
his character's name. Ben Affleck looks a little
swarthy. He does look a little
swarthy. Oh, come on.
His name is like Ramirez or something like
that. Let me find the picture
of the real life guy from Argo.
And let's compare.
He's like holding hedge clippers.
Argo character.
I'm going to look up Ben Affleck's real name.
I am very honored to be
displayed on the
movie by Mr. Affleck.
What the hell is this name?
What?
Benjamin Gaza
Affleck Bolt?
Look at this shit
I don't know what nationality that is
that's who he's playing
okay okay Ben
close enough I guess
I mean really the only reason that guy looks Spanish
in the left is because of the mustache
they both have that Spanish, Italian,
Southern European look about them.
If you say so.
I think so.
I mean, we in the US have like,
oh, Hispanic, that means Mexican.
Whereas in Europe, it's more like,
oh, Spanish, that's from Spain.
People from Spain look a lot like people from Italy.
I suppose.
So, pretty swarthy, hairy people.
Yeah. I'm about to watch a...
I watched both the Alien movies last night.
Alien and Aliens. Hadn't seen those in a while.
My lady friend had not seen either of them.
So, I decided that she had to see them.
You watch both?
Yeah. Watch them back to back. Alien and then
Aliens.
Does she like the horror movie binge the way you do she preferred the she preferred alien more than
aliens okay and it is the horror alien movie you know aliens aliens made by ridley scott
and it's it's horror and then aliens is made by j by James Cameron and it's action. And she preferred the former.
We haven't watched any horror stuff, I don't think.
What are your go-to horrors, both of you?
Like when you're like, I want a good scare.
For me, I really like, my favorite horror movies are The Exorcist.
Honestly, The Conjuring, I think is super strong.
I think it's one of the best ever.
And it's new, you you know sort of modern day um oh i found the descent to be very scary i think woody disagrees with me there and um most of these i disagree the fourth kind i've talked
about it before on the show oh fourth kind yeah i don't think i've seen the fourth kind a lot of
the ones kyle likes are not my cup of tea but when it i guess if it's a horror movie a movie that is
supposed to scare me as opposed to like a blood dripping action movie um oh what is the whole
name of them where like nothing happens and shit happens at the end uh there's a lot of like a
security footage of it supernatural no no no
no paranormal activity paranormal activity is what i'm talking about supernatural is very different
totally different thing but paranormal activity i can usually only get i only enjoy it once you
know because once you see it like you know the yeah yeah the scares are gone but um paranormal activity if i give it my attention is very effective on me
i agree the first one was fucking scary as shit especially in theaters that was i remember that
that was really scary there's this part where like the thing has been showing up a lot and doing
stuff and so it's a real fear now and they hear shit up in the attic and he goes up into the attic
to check with maybe a
Zippo as his light source
or something like that and it's like bro
get a mag light for the love of god
come on get a lantern
and a 9-11 or something
you should be going up there
loaded for bear or at least demon
and he gets up there
and there's nothing so you're just
like terrified but what he does find is a burnt photograph of his wife as a child her childhood
home burnt to the ground it's so creepy and and she's like that's, that's impossible. That's impossible. That can't exist up there.
That can't.
I wouldn't even wait to put my house on the market
before I made my way to a hotel
if something like that happened.
I want to say they tried that in one of them.
It didn't work out.
Am I crazy?
Did they not get it?
They've made a lot of those at this point.
I think I've only seen one.
I can't tell you which one they've done.
When I watched the second one,
I was with a young lady.
We were in maybe LA, I think.
And I bought it on the pay-per-view at the hotel.
We were holding each other in the bed out of fear.
I remember that was a cool experience.
Not the cuddling thing where you put one arm around the other.
Right, right.
Both arms wrapped around each other,
looking at the TV like,
oh, oh.
I was so scared of Paranormal Activity 2.
It was so fucking scary.
They do a great job.
It's a good kind of scare to give you
because a demon movie will spook me in the moment,
but if something goes bump in the night,
I'm never like, a demon. But spook me in the moment but like if something goes bump in the night i'm never like a demon but like little paranormal activity thing like like if something like well like a creek in
the middle of the night it's like that could be anything you know what else is even a demon
i'm not sure if it's you can tell me if you think it's a horror movie is it a house on the hill
where they there's like a house on the hill where they
there's like a whole nother universe and they're trying to maybe prevent something big from
happening and they go oh oh you're talking about um the one where the teenagers are there and but
there's those people underground like yeah i think that a guy from west wing plays a major role in it
he does um that's um i don't know this one oh you might when k might. I wouldn't say it's horror.
Right?
But it's scary.
Scary comedy?
It must be watched.
Scary movie where
they are
underground.
You're going to get the dissent with that search.
Yeah, I said Pulling Strings though.
And I got a movie called Pulling Strings.
What's that movie fucking called? Yeah, I said Pulling Strings though, and I got a movie called Pulling Strings. What's that movie fucking
called? It's... Oh, I know.
It's Chris
Hemsworth's in it, so I'll look at his...
Chris Hemsworth.
The Haunting of the Hillhouse?
That's not it.
Cabin in the Woods? Cabin in the Woods.
Cabin in the Woods. House on the Hill?
Not right. No,
never mind. It's the... Yeah, it's The Cabin in the Woods. House on the Hill, not right. No, never mind.
Yeah, it's the Cabin in the Woods.
Chris Hemsworth is in it,
and there's a real hot red-headed chick in there and a hot blonde chick in there.
It's a good movie.
Yeah, essentially what's...
It's a bit of a spoiler to tell people what's going on,
but I will say this.
It's not like, oh, it's horrifying,
but it's a real fun ride.
And it's a whole new twist and a whole new take on the whole horror genre.
And you get a lot of bang for your buck.
And I should just leave it there.
Because if I spoil it, it takes a little bit of the pop out of it.
And it's a good show.
Spoiler-free talk while we're at it.
The new Game of Thrones trailer came out.
Kyle, did you see it? I know you're AFK and you've been avoiding that kind of thing.
My lady friend was
like, hey, new Game of Thrones trailer. I'm like,
no, I don't watch those. I saw it. They have
spoilers in them. And she's like, no, it's just
the trailer. I'm like, if I see character
A in set B,
I know that he's going
to be in set B. And that's too much information
for me. If I see that Jon Snow is somewhere
where there are green trees, too much information. If I see that Jon Snow is somewhere where there are green trees,
too much information.
Right.
So I'm not going to spoil Lannister is in the snow too much information
that I,
so I won't spoil anything.
I,
what I was going to say is this,
I used to do these breakdown of call of duty videos,
right?
With their,
like they show a call of duty trailer and I had a level of time and
expertise in that game.
And I might notice things you didn't notice,
you know,
like a thing that like flickered on the um mini map or or something like that
that uh that maybe a more casual player wouldn't have picked out with game of thrones as much as
i love that show i'm not that guy there are people who will be like hey there's another
medallion on that dude's necklace that's told me a lot of things i made that up it's not a spoiler
um and but i wouldn't pick that up you know i wouldn't pick up like a subtle sigil change or
something but i watched it and all it did was get me hype on like a general level it's like yeah you
know i if i even told you what i saw like this character was uh feeling stressed at that at a
time then well yeah that but that didn't tell me too much like i'm still down i didn't think it
spoiled much okay like yeah so you're with me on that yeah but there are i think there are people
in this world alt shift x is going to make a video about what he saw in there and it will be things i
didn't pick up like but if you saw cersei in the snow let's say for the trailer for last season
that would give something away if you see her in the snow this season's say for the trailer for last season, that would give something away. If you see her in the snow this season,
well, winter's here.
Like, there's already snow coming down.
If she's in the wilderness,
I know she's gone north with an army.
If I see the city, then I know she stayed at home,
but the snow has come there.
Either of those things are spoilers for me.
They really are.
I'll tell you what they did with Circe.
They showed her in a place,
I don't even know if I recognize the background,
perhaps indoors, probably.
And she had a look like she thought she was clever okay all right so there's a point this
season where seriously thinks she's clever i could have told you that was coming oh my eyebrows
yeah yeah so uh um but yeah i'm pretty down it. I go through these phases where I think like, dude, it's about to happen.
You know, it's right here upon us.
And then I think about it some more and I'm like, actually, it's six weeks away.
And by the way, six weeks from now, that's just episode one.
The last episode is 12 weeks away.
This thing's so far from now that I go back and forth yeah we all have to
finish our taxes before that we even get to see episode one so that's no april 12th i don't even
start i'm just kidding oh well you're like watching it like finishing the episode on april 14th and
you're like all right time to get my taxes 11 58 but it is pretty far away um another thing that oh
conor mcgregor so um people don't know mcgregor lost i want to say his last two ufc fights i'm
not no no no he won he lost again he lost his most recent one but before that he won right
he did nate diaz win am i crazy i think that's right yeah yeah so he just lost his last fight and uh but he's only fought ufc like once in the last
three years i think and yeah he lost his last one versus nerd magomedov and won his second to last
one versus alvarez oh was it alvarez yeah that makes sense he beat diaz and went on to alvarez
so um uh they were gonna make him the co-main in his next thing.
And McGregor, that's a showstopper for him.
He needs to be the main event.
He wants to be the last fight.
But usually what they do with McGregor cards, usually, is they stack them.
So one of the things that makes a McGregor night such a special night is that McGregor's fighting.
The other part of it, though though is usually everyone on that card
is awesome like it's just it they really make sure that this is an event to remember but who's
gonna be the main that if mcgregor is if it's not dc and um jones brock lesnar okay or dc or dc
jones then i'm not buying i don't mean that i'm not buying is that i'm not putting the money up
i mean you're not believing in it.
I'm not buying into that idea that there's anyone who headlines better than McGregor
other than the crazy grudge match of DC and Jones or the spectacle of Jones versus Lesnar.
So I think that what the UFC is saying is, look, title fights are the main, you know, and McGregor doesn't have any
titles. So McGregor can fight in the co-main. It'll be a very big deal and it's awesome.
But the main is going to be like Colby Covington versus Usman uniting the welterweight belt or
something. I made that up, but you know, and it's just like, yeah, I guess it'd be kind of weird
to put like, what is McGregor? Like the number three ranked guy in his weight class against the number 11th ranked guy in the weight class above a title fight?
I don't think it's weird at all.
I think UFC comes down to money, right?
It does.
It's not like-
It's prize fighting.
It's about fucking money. And if you were to, on the pay-per-view buy button, if you were to have everyone select who they were buying for or who they're most hyped for, the fight they're excited about that night, the biggest fight in their opinion, however you want to phrase it, the only two examples that I can think of,
DC Jones, DC Lesnar, or Jones-Lesnar, maybe, are bigger.
And for a couple of reasons.
Anything with Lesnar is a spectacle,
and anything with Jones and DC going against each other is just crazy trifecta of the grudge match,
even though Jones has won both of them.
But this time around, we're talking about picograms,
not actual hot blood, hot piss, or whatever.
Yeah, last time Jones won, he literally got suspended for steroids.
But I just don't see...
And they no contested the fight.
I want to see Colby fight Usman.
As a fan, that's big for me.
I saw Colby out in the crowd wearing his fucking belt
and his fucking aviators, wearing a MAGA yeah like a bad motherfucker not giving a shit starting shit with the fighters mothers
out there that guy knows what's up like like maybe if you had like ass starting shit with
dana white starting shit with dana can i just lay that out super fast for the fans um colby
covington has a better social media presence than most fighters do. Yeah. And I guess he got intelligence or knew Dana White was like playing, I think, Blackjack.
So he goes live and he live broadcasts himself.
And then like, here's Dana White.
Dana, why aren't I the one fighting for this belt right now?
Because he was the interim title holder.
You'd think he would be.
And Dana just said
turn the camera off turn the and he did and the data talked to him privately and said don't do
that again that that's bad behavior and i saw jail talk about it and he was like you know what
this guy is great colby covington he is doing everything right uh he's fighting he's like by
the way he's the interim champion. He got that the hard way
by winning a fight. So this guy's no chump. And in addition to that, he runs his mouth a ton.
He got one wrong. He got one wrong where he went up to Dana White during his private time gambling
and he turned off the camera as soon as he was supposed to when he got a talking to. He got one
wrong. But by and large, he's getting a lot of things right, and other fighters would be smart to copy him.
Okay, that's jail.
Yeah, I buy into that.
But yeah, back to the McGregor thing,
I think he's right, frankly,
and purely because it is prize fighting,
and it's all about pay-per-view numbers,
and the fans are buying that pay-per-view,
by and large, for McGregor.
They're there for McGregor.
And he should be the main event if he's
on a card. And I don't think his record
matters. I think he could lose another one.
He could lose to Pickafighter. He could lose
to anybody. He could lose to you.
To me, that would ruin him.
Yeah.
You know? And he'd still come out.
They'd be like, Woody did have 50 pounds on him.
But that would kick kickstart your career.
They can stop making him the main event when he stops,
like when his next pay-per-view isn't one of the top five biggest pay-per-views of all time.
If they make him the main event on the next one,
and it's not sliding right up in there in top five pay-per-views of all time again,
then it's like, ah, maybe we did make an error here here maybe we should have maybe jones should have been up there maybe
maybe uzman colby should have been up there maybe i am rose namayuna should have been up there i
think that you and mcgregor have really strong points i guess it's the ufc you can make your
own rules right it's not like the athletic commission is determined.
So you can do it.
You can go have Cody fight Usman on the co-main
and have two unranked fighters, I guess two ranked fighters,
as the main event.
You can do it.
I can see the point.
I can also see the other way.
It's a little more integrity to the sport when you put the title fight last and it's not even a matter of like the uneducated fan being like well shouldn't the
main event be for a title because the uneducated fan is mcgregor's bread and butter the the average
mom and pop who doesn't buy an event unless it's mcgregor those people are his bread and butter
that's why he breaks those numbers. Because when they have a card
like last week, where you've got a lot
of... You've got big names, I guess.
But you've also got a lot of the best fighters
in the game fighting each other.
I bet the
pay-for-you numbers don't get up there
to where McGregor cards go.
By the way, you can have McGregor fight anybody.
I love uneducated fans. I have no
problem with them. I like them.
No problem at all.
I don't look down on those people.
And look, it's not like an expert.
They drive the entire business, as with any professional sport.
I try to educate myself as much as I can, but I'm no expert.
I'm more than a casual fan, but I'm not an expert.
And so I don't like when people look down on...
I am an expert in some things, though.
And in those regards, in those fields,
I don't like when people are looked down in those, I'll say that I won't,
I won't put myself in the position of a UFC MMA expert,
but like we're having like guns or our explosives or I don't know you,
something like that, that I know a lot about.
I don't like when people shit on the people who don't know what's going on.
It's like, you're,
you're pushing people out of our already small and skewed community. Okay.
Like pull them in.
Don't push them away.
Don't,
don't laugh at them because you memorize some fucking numbers.
I am.
So,
uh,
I'm from the Philadelphia area.
I follow some Philly teams.
And right now in the world of NBA,
the sixes are exciting to watch.
They're kind of fun.
They've got a bunch of cool lottery picks and then they built a little team.
Now they're drafting. They're trying to win a They've got a bunch of cool lottery picks, and then they built a little team.
Now they're drafting.
They're trying to win a title this year, right?
And if you were to choose five teams that might win it,
I think Philly would be on your list, right? So it's just an exciting time to be a Philly fan.
I still don't know jack shit about basketball.
And if you put a ball in my hand, you would agree.
But I still like watching.
And if you follow the nba subreddit
and see like the drama and the memes and the relationships they follow i feel like following
the nba back in the 90s was about following stats and wins losses and things like that following
those guys now they're all accessible as humans on a social media platform.
And they're all, there's like relationships and all kinds of dynamics and trades.
And the way I follow the UFC isn't just about the punches and the kicks.
There's a whole world of fighters and who they are and who they're dating and where they are in their life and their finances that is fun to follow along with the punches and kicks.
And I see that in the NBA. And i i don't know i like watching it and no one has ever told me woody you're not good enough at basketball to be part of this fan base or you don't know enough about sixers history to
be part of this fan base they just say yeah welcome on oh yeah like it is cool how sports
yeah those athletes are more accessible like A fucking winger for the Minnesota Wild
streams video games on Twitch.
Oh, yeah?
They just do shit like that now.
And so that's great PR for them.
But I feel like baseball is always this.
When I think of stat-obsessed sports fans,
baseball is what comes to mind.
Because you can talk to what I think is a casual fan,
and they'll be like, oh yeah, fucking Hernandez,
he had 5.4 RBIs and 6.7 fucking catches per game.
I don't even know the stats in baseball.
That's how I live right now.
But it's like autism on an enormous scale.
Like people who are super into it.
I don't know this for sure.
They definitely have more advanced stats than anybody else.
Because there's so much going on. Things like slugging percentage, on-base
percentage, ERA, RBIs,
all the different ways you can score.
There's a lot more static movement in baseball so like it's not
like hockey or basketball where there's a lot of fluid stuff where you can't track oh they're not
they're not really tracking completed passes in hockey or basketball as much as whereas oh this
guy made it on second base 13 of the time that he hadn't at bat but only when it was a left-handed
pitcher and when it was a right-handed pitcher he made it uh
2.7 percent less or some shit yeah it's hard to measure like okay for example let's say let's say
taylor's not a goalie and the two of us are like the puck is by the boards we both and like approach
the puck at the same time someone's gonna get it to their team and someone's not but that's i don't
think there's a measure for like corner grit i think it's called coursey which is uh how they measure uh not necessarily the corner battles but total
possession stats where that's what they like the advanced stat people now will be like oh this guy's
coursey number is really good which means you're more way you're way more likely as a group of
five guys on the ice to have the puck when he's out there as opposed to not having it whereas if
a guy has a really shitty coursey score they'll be like huh this guy doesn't look that terrible but god
damn every time he's on the ice the other team has the puck and they're maintaining it there's
so much you can do in baseball too there's so many like weird stats like like in basketball
again i don't know much about basketball but i mostly see like rebounds points steals assists
and that's about it.
They'll talk about points in transition.
They'll talk about defense, of course, but block shots,
rebounds on defense, that's a pretty similar thing.
But in baseball, it's like, shit.
There's a million things.
Pickoff attempts and stolen bases.
There's a lot going on in baseball. And then there's, there's so many different ways to do the same thing. Like there's
so many different kinds of pitchers, right? You know, there's starting pitchers, relieving
pitchers, closing pitchers, and they all have their own different stats. There's, there's,
if you, to get a close, right? There's a very specific parameter that has to be met
before you have closed the game out.
There have to be X amount of pitches that you threw.
You had to be either tied or ahead by one,
and you had to maintain that lead or something like that.
There's a lot going on.
You know what?
There's a lot of stats.
Basketball does wrong compared to hockey and stats.
And then as much as I'm a basketball know nothing i still
maintain this is true hockey tracks season stats right so when they talk about how many goals
you're scoring they talk about how many you score over the course of the season in basketball
everything is per game and i think that stinks because it doesn't reward durability it doesn't reward showing up
every night like in hockey if you play half a season then you probably have some pretty
numbers this year you know it's hard to do well with 41 games in basketball shit you can score
30 points per game over 40 and and be you know looking great yeah it's just the point total so
much higher in basketball like if if someone who was the last person to score a goal a game in a season,
like Lemieux?
I don't know.
You have to be not only a generational talent,
like an all-time talent to have a stat above one goal per game.
And even if you're scoring one goal per game,
you're one of the best players in NHL history.
Like the best dude out there ovechkin
at this scores like 0.6 goals per game the numbers would be high i agree but i feel like people would
get used to them and it just doesn't properly punish players who take off right right now
this sixes guy in b his name is not joel it's like joel bolt and b yeah something like that and um
uh you know he's just resting he's like you know what my knee hurts like a tiny bit
so i'm uh i'm just letting it heal up before the playoffs, which is fine. I'm not saying
it's dumb. I'm just saying that in hockey, he'd be losing
his goal scoring lead, but in basketball, it's safe.
I didn't even know enough about basketball to know that. Yeah. He's like
the fourth best scorer in basketball right now, something like that.
He's taking all these games off and it's not changing because his points per game. he's like the fourth best score in basketball right now, something like that. And,
uh,
he's taking all these games off and it's not changing because his points per game,
uh,
our new goalie is the shit.
He is like the most,
he's a guy who was buried in the AHL and ECHL and then got a shot.
I think I talked to you about this Woody.
I think he may be even after a show,
but like his,
his interviews were like going big all over the hockey reddit where like he he's on
like a career start for like goalies across the whole league they're like jordan you've got five
shutouts and your first 18 starts as an nhl goalie how does that feel he's like it's cool
and they'll be like are you are you really nervous about the game tonight you know you got this big
streak going it'd be a shame if something you know you're playing a good team and he'd be like
do i look nervous like well no he's like well there's your answer he just he doesn't even look
like he's putting on a show he looks like he's just just almost like not even emotionally
available which is what you want in a goalie.
At the same point in his career.
I didn't think you would know this because it was for the Hurricanes.
But yeah, he came in.
Won the Cup in his first season.
He win the Cup or lose the Cup?
Yeah, 05-06.
Oh, did he?
Yeah, I think 05-06.
That's when the Canes won, right?
It is.
Against Edmonton.
You might be right.
In my head, he lost the Cup his first season but i could be wrong you made it even losing the cup
is a good year but um uh yeah he just nothing seemed to phase him at all he was like they
kept saying there was ice water in his veins and i don't know how to describe a guy
who like you're interviewing him about the stanley cup finals that he's in
and he appears bored by this situation yeah you know and he's like 19 you know which you know
what he i don't know maybe i was 30 and i thought 19 was young but now i think of him as just
literally a child dude the the hurricanes ruined that guy because they were like, oh, wow.
Well, we're a young franchise.
We got a good goalie.
We just won the Stanley Cup.
For the next 12 years, let's play him 65 plus games a season.
And so if you go to his stat line, Carolina just rode him like a horse.
That's what they did to the guy before.
Every season.
Irby, I think his name was.
Oh, yeah, that sounds right.
Urbe would always play like 70-some games a season.
It's funny because he was like,
they'd show on the board,
like, you know, the, I don't know what to call it,
the thing that hangs in the middle of the score.
Yeah, the Jumbotron.
Jumbotron.
And they'd be like, you know, Urbe.
Like, league leaders, notbe! Like, league leaders.
Not in goals against, right?
Not in save percentage.
But in games played was the category he would lead,
and the whole place would cheer.
And it's like, well, fuck, I could lead in games played.
All I gotta do is play 82 games a year.
I just can't imagine the amount of resentment you must have against your organization
if you're Cam Ward.
And it's just like, all right, who's in again?
Oh, me.
Me again.
I've played the last 11 games.
That's got to be exhausting.
I don't know.
I've barely played goalie.
I don't know what goalies want.
Are they mad every time you bench them?
Or are they like, oh, thank goodness.
They like a break.
Like 50 games a season for a starter.
50, maybe 55 is probably good.
But there were seasons where he played like 76 games.
Yeah, Irby would do that too.
Which is almost every game of the season,
which means that there were multiple games where they played back-to-backs
where it's like, all right, Cam, you're in in this 8 p.m. game,
and tomorrow's nooner.
You're up too, champ.
It's like, oh my God.
That's where pitchers have it nice, right?
You pitch maybe one out of five games,
one out of six games, maybe.
Even if you're in the World Series
or you're in like a playoff situation.
Wait, I thought the baseball pitchers did it more in shifts
where it was like you have an opener
and then a middle guy and then a closer but that everybody played most games uh no um so you've got this i'm speaking
more on the starters so like uh a team's probably got like three solid starters and then maybe four
but then they'll have like three or four guys who are kind of like iffy and are getting mixed in a
lot but like if you're if you're in the playoffs or a World Series type situation,
you're down to your three or four guys.
You're not trying out some other guy.
So in that situation, you might pitch with three days rest,
which would be kind of nutty.
Like if a pitcher is pitching on three days rest, it's like...
Too much rest?
It's worthy. No, too little.
Oh.
If he's pitching on only three days rest, it's of comment it's like all right well smoltz is coming out but he's only on
three days rest let's hope that uh you know that that tommy john surgery he had three years back
is uh you know did the trick taylor that's what you need the god taylor's he's analyzing the statistics today, but he just did that three days ago.
I don't know.
I don't know.
He'll be on his A game.
But, yeah, the starters will do that,
and then the relievers are kind of a mixed bag,
and then the closers are also a mixed bag.
Although closers pitch frequently.
Like, those guys are usually only pitching
somewhere between 10 and 30 pitches a night.
Are pitchers the highest paid?
No.
No.
The best baseball contract of all time,
Bobby Bonilla.
Really?
It's not A-Rod.
I thought it was going to be A-Rod.
A-Rod had a great contract,
25 mil a year or something like that.
Bobby Bonilla, however, had a contract where he gets a million dollars a year
every year until like 2035.
Bobby Bonilla hadn't played a game of baseball in like 15 years.
That's nice.
I like that contract.
You can know if he won the lottery lottery he wouldn't take the lump sum
he'd be like nah set me up for life i'll take the annuity i'm probably a little off on those
numbers but not by much like essentially bobby bonilla is getting a million a year
for the next 15 years and he hasn't played in 10 or 15 years or something like that like it was an
absurd contract but yeah but a rod got a crazy contract that amounted to like 25 mil a year or
something like that for like 10 years.
But there's guys now who are getting that for multiple positions.
And A-Rod,
I want to say played shortstop or third base,
like shortstop maybe.
Cause he,
I think he moved Jeter over,
but in any case,
um,
pitchers,
not the most paid.
It really depends. You know know if you're the best
pitcher in the world you probably get some some ridiculous contract but it's baseball is in its
own league i feel like with the amount of money these people make yeah like nobody's even like
i saw somebody in baseball signed a 330 million contract. Just give him the team.
That blows my mind.
Yeah, that's about...
Taylor, you got a really good arm.
You know what?
The team's yours.
It's insane.
Like, they make NFL, NHL, NBA.
NBA is getting up there,
but baseball makes the rest of them
look like small potatoes, man.
Dude, the endorsements in the NBA can be be judge steph curry steph curry but i think his full name is
stefan stefan yeah i'm terrible um they're saying he'll be basketball's first billionaire
billy they're like like a nike contract or something uh it's under armor but yeah uh and
so the one thing that's notable about him is he played for like well under the maximum
contract even though he's the kind of player who would earn the maximum best contract in basketball
because it's like yeah this 25 million you're paying me dude i'm gonna make a thousand million
over on on my shoe deal so whether it's 25 or you, I really don't care.
I got 1,000 million coming over there.
And he gets that.
It's pretty neat.
He's a neat guy.
I like him.
Dude, I want to talk politics for just a second.
Sure.
What's going on?
So there's this Democrat Muslim House of Rep chick.
And she said something negative about Omar. Omar, yeah.
It's like L...
Ilyan Omar. You're right.
Omar. One of those.
That's her. Her last name is O-M-A-R.
And her first name is...
I think it's I-L-H-A-N.
Ilhan? Antisemite.
Antisemite. So, she said something about
too much influence of AIPAC
a couple weeks ago. This is what she said more recently.
I have it in front of me so I get it word for word right.
I want to talk about the political influence in this country that says it's okay for people to push for allegiance to a foreign country.
And they're calling it a vile anti-Semitic slur.
And Nancy Pelosi is going to censor her on the house floor
and it's like kyle what did you say i think i feel like i talked over you her own party yeah yeah
yeah nancy pelosi is going after her hard i want to talk about the political influence in this
country that says it's okay to push for allegiance to a foreign country that's what she said they're
calling it a vile anti-semitic slur and they're voting on a resolution
that's about the things that she's saying.
And I feel like it's making her right.
She's like, you can't even mention
that maybe Israel,
maybe there's two sides of the story
without them attacking you as the anti-Semite.
And now they're attacking her as an anti-Semite.
I think if anything,
I didn't have much of an opinion kind of like you before and woody but then when when she says that
and then suddenly both chambers both parties all unite and are like no like it's like oh what
okay well maybe this lobby has more power than i actually realized anything you know you're
all proving you're right you know like i don't give a fuck what lobby it is like i like when
politicians call them out either side of the aisle like these lobbying organizations don't
act on behalf of the people no matter what they're representing they've got their special
interest whether it's that's their whole point xyz that's the whole point is you get
in there to push a special interest and so that they conflated this into some huge thing it seems
like it would have been better just to be like uh you know and just just blow it off and let her
air vent or whatever and then let the news media handle it how they will some way to come down on
her hard out of the public eye maybe it is crazy how big of a deal this became. Like, she's like a freshman
in the system. Like, does she have
that much power, really?
No, not that I can tell.
I probably disagree with her on 100% of things,
but if you're calling out lobbying organizations,
I'll give you a thumbs up on that.
Foreign relations?
Foreign something or another committee?
They're talking about taking her out of that committee.
Okay.
But see, that just once again makes it like wait by doing all this you're almost showing that this lobbying organization does have a lot like like when they were all
ripping on like remember when the nra was the big thing where they're like the nra has too much
influence over politicians if as soon as that happened immediately every democrat and every
republican came out and was like we're having a resolution saying you cannot fuck with the NRA.
Yes.
You'd be like, hold up.
This is clearly they're doing with the NRA and super powerful.
If they can get this kind of shit going, like it feels almost counterintuitive.
I feel like we're kind of thinking the same way on this, Woody.
Oh, completely.
The reason the NRA is so powerful is not the money they give.
A lot of people think the NRA is like a huge money donor.
They're members.
It's not.
It's that there are people who are – guns are a gigantic, very super important issue to them.
And when the NRA says this guy doesn't align with this thing that you care so much about,
they vote against them.
That's what it is.
It's not like Big Farm where I just give you cash and let you run ads.
That's where they're – it's not that people are passionate about like drugs or anything,
even healthcare.
But yeah, so this APEC thing, I don't know.
I feel like they're proving her right by coming down on her so hard.
So we'll see where this goes.
All these lobbying organizations. Maybe so, but I think she probably is anti-S they're proving her right by coming down on her so hard. So we'll see where this goes. All these lobbying organizations
suck. Maybe so, but I think she probably was anti-Semitic
though, right? Probably.
This isn't her first time
she said something about our great
I don't think that they're characterizing
her statement correctly.
Probably not.
I think she said other things. I think it's a pattern
with her.
I agree with that thing she said most recently.
If that's all it is, that's bullshit. I listened to him talk about it on CNN
today and CNN did not like it. So I switched
to Fox News and I was like, let's see what they think. They hate it.
They're like, this dirty Muslim coming over here saying
that our great ally Israel, the home of baby Jesus.
Yeah, the home of baby Jesus.
See, like, that's the, like, when they came out and, like, there were huge numbers of people against the NRA,
I was like, okay, these guys clearly aren't pulling all the strings. But any organization, lobbying organization,
that you insult and then immediately everybody snaps to attention
and does what they want, it's like, oh, whew,
this was not a good idea on behalf of that organization
to get everybody to rally because it really just shows,
oh, this is powerful.
That's what I think, yeah.
Ocasio, whatever her – I like to call her AOC
AOC is easier
her last name is Cortez I think
that lady who's about to waste a bunch of
money running for president
she backed up the
Muslim who's running for
president
the girl who's OAC
OAC is absolutely not running for president
she's like 13 years
she's got like another 6 years to go
I think 35 is the minimum right
it is yeah
get up in there
is that a show because I gotta make
some dinner I got some chicken
parmesan that needs
alright yeah I haven't eaten yet, and I'm equally starving.
I've got to pee.
Pee in 237.