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Painkiller Nearly, episode 239.
I saw Captain Marvel yesterday.
What'd you think?
Eh? Eh?
I really liked it.
I really liked it.
So Captain Marvel has had a lot of heat thrown its way
with this feminist agenda type thing.
And watching the movie, with the exception of one scene,
I'm like, why?
This is just a superhero movie. If you superhero movies you'll like captain marvel as a matter of fact
i would call it a better than average superhero movie i think it's there with like
some of the good iron men the better thors you know like one good iron man if i'm being honest
iron man 2 was pretty lackluster and Iron Man 3 is garbage. I liked 1.
I haven't seen either.
I think I liked 1 and 3 or 1 and 2.
I don't recall.
So 2 is when he's facing off against Mickey Rourke
and Mickey Rourke is like the electrical whip guy.
Oh, that was retarded.
I remember that scene.
That's the good one.
3 is where they fake you out
and they make it seem like you're going to have the Mandarin,
which is like Iron Man's big bad, but really there's no Mandarin at all, and you end up fighting against that Australian actor whose name is escaping me right now.
The Mandarin is his name?
Well, they pretend like – so there's a comic book villain called the Mandarin, and he's like –
Oh, how are you going to fight back against currency manipulation?
called the mandarin and he's oh how are you going to fight back against currency manipulation pretend like that's the guy but then it's revealed that no it's not the mandarin
the real bad guy has an actor portraying the mandarin and it's and there is no man is that
the one where there were like a lot of iron men like a fleet of i like that one oh that was the
worst one tony stark has like he refuses to use his suit for the first five-sixths of the movie,
and he has PTSD, and he has a child sidekick through most of the movie.
What a fruit.
It's awful.
Maybe I don't.
I clearly don't remember it as well as Kyle.
I think Captain Marvel is there with Black Panther, which is good.
Not the cultural revolution that people act like it was.
I thought it was good.
It was okay.
Wait, did you see Marvel, Kyle?
I've not seen Captain Marvel.
I've seen every other Marvel movie except for Captain Marvel.
Is she the same thing as Wonder Woman, basically?
No, not at all.
She's much more powerful.
But there was one scene where she's fighting to Just a Girl.
Do you know this song?
Like, I'm just a girl.
Take a look at me.
I'm not your typical prototype.
I hate when they try and match music too much with the scene, regardless of what the agenda is, because it takes you out of it.
Generally, it was just a great superhero movie, in my humble opinion.
Like, that's what I got out of Captain Marvel there's
a and then I was
like why is everyone acting like this a feminist thing
it's just a woman doing superhero stuff
right which is fine you know like I
didn't think to a
girl power who's the Clint Eastwood
female boxing movie
million dollar baby yes I
thought that was a really good movie and i didn't
think she was some sort of like feminist icon she was just a girl doing boxer shit right it wasn't
like it was just a person and that's how i thought captain marvel was and then i saw the ads there
was a particular scene in captain marvel i wanted to go home and watch again on youtube because i
liked it so much so and i started finding all the trailers and i'm like holy smokes they beat your head over
they beat you over the head with this feminist shit in the advertising not in the movie but in
the advertising and now i see where all that was born from but it was actually a good movie
according to me that's that's what i was saying remember that the the advertising side of it was
trying to drum up a sjw thing to get some trolls active,
to get the defenders of the movie active,
like trying to,
to,
you know,
it already had a ton of buzz,
right?
Like I don't,
I didn't think that was it.
I didn't think there was any astroturfing going on.
Did Brie Larson say something that got people upset too?
I,
I,
all I've read is that all I've read is corrections where they're like,
no,
Brie Larson did not say X, Y, and Z.
But then I've also seen articles that say that the Avengers cast do not care for Brie Larson.
I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks about anybody because they're actors and they're probably horrible human beings to begin with.
I just want to watch the movies.
I'll watch Captain Marvel because I'm sure it's going to be important for me to watch it and know more about her as I go into the last Avengers movie.
But I'm not all that excited.
About Captain Marvel?
Yeah, no.
Not all excited if it's what?
I wish I had let you finish.
I don't know.
It's a prequel.
I guess it's probably based in the 80s or something like that.
90s.
I'm really hyped for what's going on right now.
I guess there's a big cliffhanger going on in the marvel shit and and and this feels like they were
like oh we're riding high on the horse we can wedge in this captain marvel's story instead of
i don't know make an ant man i think there's a hint of that i think that you're right um
i saw captain marvel partly because i'm kind of excited
about infinity wars endgame yeah and uh i'm like well this will hold me over until that comes out
in april it's end of april too i think it might be 26th and uh so that aspect worked on it but
like you like i can't i didn't i'm not one of those guys that really knows their comic book lore
i watched some videos about it on youtube, but I wasn't born and seeped
of it back in the 80s or whatever.
So I needed to come
up to speed on Captain Marvel, and I
have, and I really like it. She's super
powerful. She's the most powerful
Avenger. They do it. I won't...
This is not... I'm going to say spoiler-free
on a lot. I'm thinking...
If anyone wants to see it, you're fine.
But I can tell you this.
They told her story out of order
in a way that I thought really worked.
I think if they had just told the story
in a straight line, I would have
predicted how it went a little more easily.
I don't know, Rick. I just feel like stories should begin
at their beginnings and end at the end.
I liked the way that they told the story.
I thought that was really cool.
It can be good.
It can be done well or done poorly.
Uh-huh.
And then there was another.
Window closes three weeks earlier.
Oh, oh.
And there's another thing.
So Captain Marvel is very, very powerful.
And one of the ways that I judge a superhero movie
is how they deal with that power, right?
Like, if Superman struggles to fight Batman the whole time, knowing that he could, like, laser blast him into a cloud of dust or a puff of steam at any moment through the whole thing, I'm like, what kind of flippin' fight is this?
This is stupid.
But they managed her superhero powers in a way that made it a good movie.
Is she like an X-Man?
I know she's not an X-Man, but
is she a mutant?
Or is she magic?
She's an alien.
She's not an alien.
She's a human person,
but she's gotten her powers
from an alien.
Without spoiling anything. I'm not going to watch it. She's a human person, but she's gotten her powers from an alien. Without spoiling anything,
I'm not going to watch it.
Listeners might.
She's a human who got exposed to something that made her powerful.
I'll watch it. I'm not terribly excited
for it.
Whether it's true or not,
I keep reading all these posts about
thousands of reviews being deleted
and YouTube curtailing what kind of videos you can and cannot look up
about Brie Larson.
And,
and that alone kind of sours me to the whole thing,
but I'll watch it with an open mind.
You know,
the same way I watched open band,
a black Panther with an open mind and didn't like it.
Oh,
I didn't like that one.
No,
it's not a good movie.
No,
I think so.
There's this thing I'm calling star Wars syndrome and it's not a good movie no i think so there's this thing i'm calling
star wars syndrome and it's when a movie is actually good right seven out of ten but fairly
disappointing because it's star wars right and you like anything less than an 11 out of 10
would not do it for you and uh with black panther i had the opposite of that like i had heard that
it was terrible for a long time. I was late on watching it.
Oh, it's not terrible.
Exactly.
I would 7 out of 10 Black Panther.
I thought it was good.
What would you give it, Kyle?
5.
5 out of 10.
I feel like there's an agenda behind the movie.
What was shitty about it?
I didn't care for the racism.
I felt like it was a pretty racist movie.
I didn't like that.
I didn't like that the only white characters were all sort of diminished to supporting roles,
where they were the punchline to the joke.
And I didn't like when they were referred to as colonizers, casually.
You might as well call them a cracker.
I thought that
the whole story was
kind of silly. It didn't make sense
that this great...
The king is supposed to be
this great, honorable guy,
but he does this really shitty thing
in abandoning
his nephew in Los Angeles
to be left. When you said the king, thing you know it would be in in abandoning his nephew in los angeles to the drug to the
yeah that's when you said the king i thought you meant who we think of as the main character yeah
the original king who dies his father right all i've seen is the clip you showed me where they
i think they like bark at each other they shout down the white guy with monkey noises
they're not barking that implies dogs they guy with monkey noises. They're not barking. That implies dogs.
They're making monkey noises at a white guy.
Like the way the gorillas bark.
They're wearing gorilla masks and stuff.
Like it's, I would be sensitive to that if I were black, maybe.
Like you can't do that, man.
Like you could make me penguin because no one really causes penguins.
Like I'm fine with that.
But you can't do the gorilla thing that's not cool but but it is a country in africa and gorillas live in africa
right yeah it's sure you're half right it's not a country in africa wakanda's not real
that's what that's what you mr whitey white supremist today. And the only reason it never existed is because of the colonizers.
The colonizers. And because
of vibratanium or whatever
doesn't... Vibratium, yeah. Or hard to find
didium. So I like... I saw another
thing
coming out and I thought it was interesting.
Kyle might have a take on this. So
there are a couple
Marvel stars coming
towards the end of their contracts.
Tony Stark is one.
Captain America and Tony Stark
I think are two of the biggies that'll be really hard
to afford. Thor is sometimes
thrown in there, but his career hasn't soared
in the same way that
Robert Downey Jr.
and Steve, I don't even know what his name is.
What's Captain America's real name? The actor's name?
Chris Evans. Chris Evans, thank you. name, the actor's name? Chris Evans.
Chris Evans, thank you.
So Thor, we might be able to keep paying.
All of them we might be able to keep paying.
Kyle made a good idea.
It's going to be a $2 billion movie,
so we might be able to pay anyone.
But there's like a mapping to the next layer.
Doctor Strange is the next Tony Stark. He has the clever one-liners.
He's very powerful.
I know, we love Tony Stark, but he might has the clever one-liners. He's very powerful. I know we love Tony Stark,
but he might be the next one. Captain Marvel is the next Captain America. If you don't know her
backstory, one guy's like an army guy, the other one's an air force chick, and there's kind of a
leadership coordination mapping going on there. And then, this is my least favorite one, Black Panther, new Thor.
They both have this sort of royalty thing going on.
They speak in deep, like not normal speech
and they're born of kings and such.
And those could be the next,
like there's lots of characters in the Marvel Universe,
but if there's three, it's Thor, Captain America,
and Iron Man. Thank you. Does the Hulk get to America, and Iron Man.
Iron, thank you.
Does the Hulk get to stay?
Yes.
Mark Ruffalo?
Yeah.
Mark Ruffalo, he's not like a leading man.
We'll see what they do.
Pull it every direction.
It depends where they want to go with the storyline.
You know, in the comics,
all these guys are kind of together.
And, you know, the whole idea of the Avengers is like,
you know, they're not just like hanging out all the time.
They do their solo missions 99% of the Avengers is like well like you know they're just not they're not just like hanging out all the time they do their solo missions 99% of the time it's only when one of these like
earth threatening threats like Thanos or uh one of the bigger bads come into play that they all
are like all right everybody get into the office we need to get things going here like yeah we need
some teamwork on this one I thought it was an interesting thing that they were positing.
And Kyle's right.
There's source material on this.
You can't just be like,
hey, you know,
now it's the girl, the black guy,
and the other white guy,
Benedict Cumberbatch, something.
Yeah, you know,
they can do whatever they want.
And then the other thing is,
like Doctor Strange,
he's usually in the part of the Marvel Universe
that contains the Fantastic four and Dr.
Doom and all that stuff going on.
And,
and that's the crappy side,
right?
Like fantastic four never did well.
I,
my opinion doesn't matter too much on this.
I don't think because like,
I feel like I,
I never really watched,
I didn't care for the cartoons.
I didn't care for the comics and all of the like movie material that
they've done at the fantastic Four has been very bad.
Because I want to say, I get a little confused sometimes about the properties that Sony versus
the properties that Fox own slash owned, because things are changing as we speak.
But I want to say that Fox owned the Fantastic Four, maybe still do for the longest time,
as well as Doctor Doom.
And they've made some real stinkers out of that property.
So yeah, I don't know any more than Kyle does,
especially with regards to who owns what.
But I watched the YouTube videos about the comics
to kind of like get my lore down.
It seems like a faster way to do it
than to read like 50 years of source material.
And apparently Fantastic Four is flipping badass.
They're some of the coolest Marvel characters around.
It's just that casuals like me think they're lame
because they haven't had good movies.
So maybe if someone could just do them right,
we'd have some cool material.
But I don't know.
Yeah, they've got a cool dynamic.
I remember the stretchy guy.
Yeah, he's one of the smartest people.
The stretchy guy is like Reed Richards. He's one of the smartest people. The stretchy guy is like Reed Richards.
He's one of the smartest people in existence.
Yeah, well, no one's going to remember that about him.
Wait, wait.
So there's a comedian who has this great routine in the Fantastic Four.
He's like, you've got the rock thing guy.
He goes by Thing.
You've got the guy who catches on fire.
He's the human torch.
You've got the invisible girl i think
she goes by invisible girl or invisigirl or something and then you have the stretchy guy
who goes by mr fantastic i'm just like you know what he's kind of right mr fantastic but
you're kind of high on yourself aren't't you, Mr. Stretchy Guy? I feel like he's the last one to name himself.
All right, Thing.
Good, I like it.
Human Tortay, it makes sense.
You are on fire.
What about you, boss?
I was thinking.
What, like Stretchy Man, Stretch Armstrong?
Elastiman?
Yeah, Stretch Armstrong.
Mr. Fantastic.
That's what the ladies call me.
You were very adamant about the rest of us
relegating our titles solely to our
ability, and now for you to come
in in this meeting and say you're Mr. Fantastic
and we have no chance to renege.
The thing is, can I choose again?
Because I'm Thing over here.
I have a name.
I would rather be The Rock.
If that's possible. Much cooler.
Right?
I'd be Captain Indestructible.
Does that work?
Nope.
Your thing.
I'm Mr. Fantastic.
But yeah, I guess the comic books on them are great.
You could be Mr. Steals Things from Vending Machines.
That's useful.
Dude, what would you do with invisibility?
I feel like my mind always went to like dude i
think i'd be a spy for america you know me sitting naked in a room listening to whatever like putin
is telling north korea or something you know because you got to be naked because otherwise
you'd be clothing dude right but yeah that's what i thought i'd do and then someone was like
obviously you just watch other people have sex see that's not right
i don't know what it is every time the hypothetical comes up of what would you do with xyz power i
immediately go to how could i rob a banquet okay it's just an interesting thing i don't think
invisibility would help me very much first of all they would see the money walk out they would see
money floating away uh and i couldn't even hold them up.
Well, they'd be horrified by a floating autonomous gun.
Well, what if...
The problem is you have to keep your...
But then they know where I am.
You have to keep your visibility power under wraps
because I feel like if money floated away,
they'd never catch you.
They would just know they were robbed
until they're like,
huh, of all the people i know
who turns invisible a lot and that list is short it's only one guy i think you'd be better off
getting and he's really had a windfall of cash it's that one guy with the new car you're probably
better off stealing information you know if you could maybe some sort of insider stock trading
type scenario that's true you know if you knew that a company of insider stock trading type scenario that's true you know
if you knew that a company was going to do a thing go public or something i i don't know exactly what
it would be it presents the same problem as watching people have sex like if i knew when
you were going to do it this would be convenient for me but otherwise what i just sit around forever
yeah i'm not gonna just have an open schedule every day on the off chant and then you get into someone's house
and you start watching and you're like nah not for me and so you just leave you have to find a
different house uh you know window shop a little bit seriously kyle nothing but missionary you know
you really got my hopes up with your pka talk that swing is just gathering dust yeah yeah yeah i mean think of how not useful being stretchy would be
because i i don't remember what his powers exactly was he would often tie people up with
his body parts i think he's strong too how strong is mr fantastic i was about to say i never saw him
torn apart once and a lot of times he was having to really tie some heavy-duty stuff up.
He seemed to have very high tensile strength.
It seemed like a terrifying power, though,
because what if you tried to tie up a bad guy and he was like, pow!
Like he just flexed and ripped you apart 13 times
and your arm is a dozen pieces.
What if you get tied up and stuck?
Yeah, if he tied you in a knot that you were unable
to untie that's that's how you deal with him that's how you deal with him he better i bet
he's not a boy it wasn't a boy scout you could probably get him in a a real good uh knot and
he'd just be dude this stretches dick oh for sure and youth, too. I looked up how strong he is, and it's interesting.
So normal Mr. Fantastic has normal human strength, like any of us, right?
But he can stretch his, like, he can give himself big bulky muscles,
which get stronger and stronger, and he's lifted 100 tons
because he just expands into something stronger than he is.
That's a lot.
Dude, I would not be...
If I could do that,
I would never be normal Mr. Fantastic.
You wouldn't catch me ever walking around in this body.
I'd walk around yoked.
Dude, 24-7.
Why not?
Do you watch The Incredibles at all?
Do you know The Incredibles,
that cartoon from Disney?
It's fairly current.
Yeah, yeah.
I've seen the first one.
Dude, Mrs. Incredible is Elastigirl, and she has a fat ass.
And she could look like anything.
She chooses fucking fat ass, like Brazilian ass.
And that's the one she picked.
That's pretty cool of her.
I'm excited. I look forward
to the movies coming out. Definitely going to watch them.
I'll try to catch
Captain Marvel, but I'm not excited
about it at all.
Maybe you'll get
reverse Star Wars syndrome
perhaps. That might have happened to me a little.
I walk into it thinking, we'll see what it has and then pleasantly surprised
i bet i could write out the whole plot just not knowing and i know nothing about it i i i i look
forward to i'm gonna watch it but but i'm not excited at all the the new avengers however i'm
like i know thanos is gonna lose but i don't know how i don't know how. I don't know how they're going to get there. I won't ruin anything, but I'll just say this.
The movies vary
enough from the comics that people
who know, like me, don't necessarily
know. Like a Game of Thrones
situation? Yeah, even more
so.
Because there's so many. They fight Thanos a bunch
of times in the comics.
It happens a bunch.
Do they ever kill him?
I don't know.
I'm sure they do.
You guys have talked about it.
Yeah, people die all the time.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't want to...
Yeah, there's a lot...
Everybody's died.
Yeah, everybody's died.
That's a thing comics do.
Fair enough.
And there's different runs of comics.
And then there's these one-offs that they do that are like,
hey, what if this happened? And it's just just like a one it's just a quick little story it's kind of
like what we do here like hey what if you were invisible what would you do they take that mindset
and they write a whole little comic series little thing has a separate universe where this guy like
an alien versus predator version well that's real obviously don't you know your history, Taylor? No.
More like a
Judge Dredd versus
Predator version,
because that did happen as well.
Oh, okay. Alien versus Predator,
that was a thing. I meant, say, like, Freddy versus Jason.
That also happened.
What? No, those were two separate...
That happened in the movies, yeah.
I know that's a movie, I was saying, but they're
in different worlds, right?
In Freddy Krueger's world, Jason doesn't
do this. Not according to the people who own the properties.
But now that... Okay.
They just lived a couple miles apart.
I have no idea what I'm talking about.
I have a thing. It's all make-believe.
Can I change topics? Yeah.
Taylor, I saw
that you need a new car. Does sound right is that true was it a was
it a troll no no it was uh are you currently driving your car uh no i went and got a rental
oh so it's really bad it's really bad like i was uh have you had it diagnosed carry on yeah i've
had it diagnosed and checked that so basically what happened is friday i was driving and it was before i was like gonna uh get on the highway to go home and i went to a gas
station and then on the way there something snapped when i hit like 35 40 miles an hour
and i've never been in a car doing this. It immediately started pitching side to side violently,
like to where the whole chassis of the car was boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
making loud clicks as I'm trying to go.
And I was freaking out.
And I knew every other car around me could see this guy in a car.
It was – I'm not exaggerating.
It was violent.
I was like, oh, my God.
Can you describe the road?
Are you on a highway?
It's a flat road, just like a highway it's a flat road just like a
street not houses uh more like a commercial area than residential but i was driving around
it's just a flat totally flat road no reason for anything bad to happen something happened i don't
know the uh technical term but like my suspension shattered or something that made it so that it no
longer went like that it went boom and it was freaking out and i took my foot off the gas and slowed down to like 10 and like
just eked into the gas station and like i was like i got okay i've got enough gas to at least get uh
to a parking lot nearby and get this toad uh to a place and so i like took it out on the road again
and was like well let's just make sure make sure that wasn't a fluke.
And it's actually totally fucked.
Maybe I imagined it.
I got up to 20.
Feels normal.
Up to 30.
Got up to like 34.
And it starts going.
Shaking even more violent than before.
And I was like turning into a lot.
Just shaking like I was off-roading.
And I got in there had a tow truck come and get it because it was it was not okay to drive and took it to the mechanic and i told him and this is a mechanic i trust like a family
friend very you know he's not going to screw me over take advantage of me that's nice and uh i
was like yeah honestly man tell me what's going to be up with it.
Because depending on the cost, I may not fix it.
And because the resale value is not that much anyway.
I think Blue Book's only like $3,300, like median.
And so he looked all around it and he's like, all right.
So for about $1,700, I can get the car on the road.
But you are going to want to sell it quick.
Because this car is an old Chrysler with a lot of miles it's gonna break down soon again but like that much money
will get it going enough that you can like trade it into a dealership or something and i was i
thought about it and ran some numbers and it was like this is not fucking worth it like i might be
getting i might end up taking a bath on this if i fix it
take it in and then they immediately on the trade-in are like well this has a horrible history
of maintenance uh what if you just traded it in as is like you see that beauty over there
it was it was so bad like tester under 30 what do you think i could what do you think i could do if
i could just get it there? He's like, seriously?
I don't even know if they would want it.
They might give you $250, $300 or something like that.
It's worth that in scrap metal.
Personally, I would spend the $700.
I don't know what's wrong with it,
but if he thought the $1,700 was going to make it roadworthy
and not wiggle anymore, I'd do that and then trade it in. But there's not going to make it roadworthy and not wiggle anymore,
I do that and then trade it in because,
but when they,
there's not gonna be a maintenance history.
There's not like people think this about guns a lot.
They're like,
Oh yeah,
well we found a gun.
Let's look it up in the gun registry with all the guns in it.
Yeah,
that don't exist.
That's,
that's some Hollywood shit.
Um,
and the same way maintenance records don't,
don't exist.
Like,
like your mechanic isn't going to be like,
let me put this in the Cyberdyne system
so that all the other mechanics on the planet will know what I did.
That don't exist either.
So, you know, you could wheel it in there
and they do a walk around and they do a test drive
and they look the car over and then they're like,
all right, I'll give you X amount for it.
If it's worth 3,000 trade-in, then maybe...
And that's very generous of an estimate.
Can you give the year and model again?
It's an 08300C.
Yeah.
And it's got a fuck ton of miles on it.
How many?
Like more than $200,000?
Oh, no.
Like $120,000 or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. That's... It's gone. It is definitely gone. Oh, no. Like $120,000 or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's gone.
It is definitely gone.
At $120,000?
Oh, yeah.
I've already put probably $10,000 in this car in the last four years.
And so the guy even was saying, he's like,
yeah, dude, make sure you sell this real quick because it's a Chrysler, you know?
It's going to happen again.
You just put this in here.
I would still put the 1700 in it and try to sell it.
I would just put it on the internet for $3,000 or something like that
and just get your money back and a little bit more.
I may.
I may give it a go.
Because then what else are you going to do with it?
I mean you could sell it for scrap and it's like $300 to $400.
Sell it for scrap or sell it to a mechanic or sell it to
uh someone else i know someone you don't like someone i don't like no i wouldn't sell this car to any friend yeah it's time for a new car man i i think you should go in there and get yourself
a uh a small suv import because that's what you want i looked at the trade-in range 1500 oh yeah it's not great
yeah no i like i thought it was saying uh yeah i found one that said more uh and so yeah if that's
another estimate that's even 1556 is yeah that's not yeah the issue is like what are they going to
do with it you know they need to try to turn around and sell the thing for profit and it's
unfinanceable you know no bank is going to loan anyone any money on a car with 120 000 miles on it so like
they have to sell it for cash and that's kind of a thing and with 120 000 miles as well
yeah it's not a pretty car it is i'm looking at uh uh i like the subaru forester a lot
no that like smaller suv i like i saw you post the other night you're like anybody uh I like the Subaru Forester a lot. Oh, man. That smaller SUV.
I like the Subaru.
I saw you post the other night.
You're like, anybody else drive a Subaru?
And I was like, no, there's no lesbians in here.
I was going to say, he does like women.
I like the Forester, too.
I used to have a neighbor with one.
What was her name?
I lived in a townhouse.
I actually don't know. I lived in a townhouse. I actually don't know.
I lived in a townhouse complex, and I walked past it all the time,
and it was just like, that's a smart-looking car.
Subaru's appealed to me.
I like the, is it SRX, the WTI, WRX?
Yeah, the sports car.
Yeah, the fast one. They have a really sporty one that I like a lot.
I think it went through, like, the latest ones aren't the best ones.
It's a weird thing.
I've always liked what Subaru had to offer.
But it is a gay girl car.
I like their sports car.
It is a gay girl car, to be fair.
But I like Miata
and songs by Pink.
I don't give a shit. I'll drive the gayest girl car.
I was telling my girlfriend, joking around, because she knows I don't give a fuck about cars uh i was like yeah if they if
they saw if they have the one in like british racing green or whatever the ugliest car on
earth is the ugliest color on earth like i'll take that if they knock 1500 off or something
like i'll drive the ugly one that's sitting on the lot i just don't care about color if anything
i can find my car and a lot easier i i'm a a little gay. I am in a perpetual state of shopping for paramotor wings.
And you can't choose the design, but you can pick the colors, you know,
like to swap them out.
And I play with it.
I play with it.
20 minutes in, it's like, Woody, dial back the gay.
Dial it back.
You've got aqua and pink wing you have there.
I mean.
Dial it back. dial it back dial it being fussy about
your paramotor wing color is like caring about what scent your tampon is you know
it's too late
i wouldn't get one but uh the toyota is reintroducing
the supra you know their little sports car it's like over 300 horsepower and uh it looks pretty
ridiculous how expensive is it the good one's 55 grand it's 50 to 55 grand it's in that sort of
range i don't know taylor's finances i know he's doing great for his age, but I also know he just bought a house.
You're supposed to be low on cash right now.
He just bought a house.
No one just buys their first house and still has Benjamins to shut.
So I assume that he has a budget in mind too.
Yeah, I wouldn't suggest it.
I'm not suggesting that for him.
I just thought it looked cool. They just have released... I just saw the pictures yesterday too. Yeah, I wouldn't suggest it. I'm not suggesting that for him.
I just thought it looked cool.
They just have released like,
I just saw the pictures yesterday of the thing.
I thought it's neat.
But yeah, I'd get a small SUV.
I'd get the Honda CRV maybe.
The CRV looks nice.
And the RAV4 is nice.
Those never break down.
I don't like the RAV4.
I like the CRV. I really like the Jeeps.
If you buy new,
I think the RAV4 either just got updated or is about to get updated
so it'd be worth looking at i yeah i i got a f-150 everyone knows i didn't realize how much
i would love the electronics the lane assist the phone integration and all that stuff so it's a
thing that i would want if like it's a thing i want you to have because i like it so much that's
what i'm saying yeah yeah i can see that like i don't i probably won't go full new like i'm looking
in uh those used ones where it's like like i don't even know like a certified pre whatever it is
where it's like only got 15 000 miles on it and it's like a 2016 or 17 or something like that
that and it's quite a bit listen to dave ramsey at all
no no oh okay so dave ramsey is a financial advisor and uh i really respect what he tells
people and he would tell you to buy a two-year-old car okay that's kind of the advice i've gotten to
i was talking to my dad about the other day because it's like uh funny enough like this
will like i at least had like i had help with negotiating
and things when i got this past car because it was like you know your first time in but like this
you know this will be the first time i'm going in solo with it so it's good that i got the kyle
and uh yeah the timing was good ed bolin maybe yeah yeah i got ed and k Kyle's input on how to do that. And so hopefully, maybe I will end up fixing my car and trying to sell it for more.
But that's, you know, at this point, it's probably like the opportunity cost of the stress and needless activity.
I have a karma issue with it somewhat, too.
You know, like.
See, and that's another thing.
I don't want to be unethical.
Like, I wouldn't be.
I tell them, like, hey, I just fixed this thing up. thing up it's running like a dream enjoy it your son needs a new car
to go to college this is the perfect one for him oh he's got a lazy eye don't worry about it this
thing steady as a rock steady as a rock oh oh in the snow no this is this is a rear wheel drive v8
hemi christ you know how silly a question that is you're gonna plow through those snow
drifts like santa claus it's gonna be a thing to behold i mean i want to see it let me know
yeah yeah i put a dash cam on it if i were him this is gonna be a show
are you seriously insinuating that you'll spin out in a little bit of rain yeah like four-wheel drive oh i'm gonna love what happens to it
that's why i like the subaru yeah because what's their reputation for reliability i i it's normal
it's very good i have a couple friends who work in the insurance industry and so i like texted
them to get kind of a down low on it one of my agent actually and i was like hey what are the
best brands for my insurance and for reliability as far as
what you've seen at your office?
It was Toyota, Honda,
Subaru, and
shit.
Some other one.
I'm looking at those mostly.
All the Asian-made cars.
Yeah, for sure. I hate that that's true.
Or a Mustang GT500.
That's also on the table.
Shelby, blue with the racing stripe.
That was funny.
I tweeted that as a joke.
I was like, I'm going to get this kind of Subaru,
this kind of Mazda, or this kind of Honda,
or maybe a Mustang GT500.
And immediately I got some people in sincerity being like,
dude, that thing isn't anything like those other cars
if you're looking for a reliable family man kind of car you don't want a two-seater coupe
that goes that fast and and this has rear-wheel drive too and i'm like yeah it's funny you said
family man because i'm like this is a long purchase right cars last for a while and i
know that taylor's not the sort to get a new car every 18 months. It's occurred to me, I wonder if he'll have car seats in the back of this one.
I've taken that into account.
I've looked at it and been like, okay, well, if I need to drive my family around in this,
or my son or daughter at some point, will I be able to?
Okay.
Kyle's face, his look of disgust right now is hilarious.
It's great.
It's part of the show.
What's funny is eventually, probably while we're still
doing this show, I'll have kids.
You'll literally show them and Kyle
will be like, oh god.
Look what you've done, Taylor.
I feel like you're like,
yeah,
this guy I met outside of the gas
station, he's got this great investment opportunity.
And I'm just like, don't do it, don't do it.
I've already told you.
No, no, no, no.
I'm going to be at the top,
and I'm going to get all these guys to work underneath me,
and they get guys to work underneath them.
We're selling berry juice.
And I'm just, oh, not the berry juice.
No.
Oh, God, Taylor, no, please.
Have you heard of the goji berries in the Himalayas?
Kyle, hear me out.
This is going to be great.
You're showing up.
Your teeth are all blue.
I'm going to buy this thing.
I have to care for it 24 hours a day for the next 20, 25 years or so.
It'll cost about $300,000.
And when it's finished, I'll be finished.
What do you think?
So it's like a Ferrari that
you hope and pray will take care of you
when you're old.
Yeah, then you can't even drive it.
It seems like you could take that $300,000
and invest it properly and afford
some sort of elder care.
I'm not having children as an insurance policy
for the future.
That's the number one thing people list.
They're like, hey, someone's going to have to look after me when I'm old and gray, you know?
And a little tyke would be the thing.
And it's like, invest the money properly.
Get yourself an IRA.
Get a fucking certificate of deposit and 40 years from now the time period you're talking about
it'll have matured into a lovely elder care fund that is a fair counterpoint dude there's a a
reward that comes with kids that like i'm going through again so you guys have seen uh i don't
know her name is freya right it's a kid that jack and I are caring for. I'm not big on infants.
When a kid's nine weeks old, it's like, that kid sucks.
That kid can barely sit up straight.
It spits a lot, and it doesn't do anything.
Barely knows I'm here.
Clearly, your kid sucks.
But her birthday's this month.
She's almost a year old, and she's getting so much better.
She sits up. She doesn't walk, old. And she's getting so much better, right? Like she sits up.
She doesn't walk, walk.
But she can stand without holding things.
Or she can walkish while holding things.
They call it surfing.
And she just loves it when you make piggy noises on her neck.
And she does these little baby happy cooing sounds.
And I have the best roll because Jackie does 90% of the work
and then I do the other 10 if I feel like it.
Perfect.
This is really her thing.
Even if you want to check out,
she's still got like an A,
nine out of 10 care for the day.
And I'm just,
I'm enjoying having a baby around
and she does things
and even off to the side,
I get an unwarranted feeling of satisfaction.
Like look at her standing.
I'm not bad.
I don't mind with my friends.
Like none of my friends,
kids are old enough to be like talking sentences or anything like
cogently and like paying attention to what you say.
But I don't mind when they like bring their kids around until they start
crying. But that's pretty rare
for the most part.
I'm going to have a kid that cries a lot
because of karma.
Or you can get yourself a monkey.
Imagine the
havoc a monkey would wreak on my home.
Imagine the havoc a child
is going to wreak on your home.
A child can't decide to tear
my fingers off.
That's a large monkey we're talking.
I can't swing from my ceiling fan
and I'm like,
Thomas!
Or like, Barnaby!
Whatever I would name it.
As a mother,
Jackie had terrible blink reflexes.
I honestly have lost count
to how many times she went to,
what's an eye doctor called?
Or optometrist. I don count to how many times she went to what's an eye doctor called or optometrist.
Yeah.
Optometrist.
I don't know how many times she went to the optometrist to have like her corneas repaired or re-sewn or just like antiseptic depainized or something because she couldn't blink in time. Right.
So I see Jackie like two days ago with like scars on her cheeks and i'm like you
suck at reflexes what is wrong with you as a surrogate grandmother she's no better than she
was as a mom on that child yeah yeah clipper nails but uh yeah jackie just had a scratch on her cheek
and it's like just like the good old days Yeah man, don't do it
Buy yourself a nice Honda
Get a Subaru for all I care
But don't, don't do that
Buy your dumbass lesbian car
You don't have children
That car, it'll come and go
That kid, he'll be there
Eight years from now, that mistake will just vanish
But the child, that's a mistake you'll have forever
Eight years from now You'll just be finding out if that's a mistake you'll have forever, Taylor. Eight years from now, you'll just be
finding out if it's a piece of shit or not.
Yeah, that is a...
That's not a great payoff.
No, you're like, you know what?
Turns out my kid's a piece of shit
and he's ugly. I thought we were talking about the car.
Like, eight years from now, you'll have a good vibe
for whether it held up.
You know what? I wasn't sold on this Forester,
but I like it now that I've
had it for 10 years.
I do that with cars, yeah.
The kid thing, though,
I don't know. There's just something
biological about it.
That fucking dog.
People like Kyle are weeded out
of the gene pool.
That's true.
By our own... We choose to be weeded out of the gene pool that's true by our own we we choose to be weeded out
yeah we don't you are better no i i do like i'm talking about that's how idiocracy happens
that's that is good good counterpoint i'm talking about the feeling of satisfaction that i get
from a kid that's not even mine doing something i didn't teach her. Like it's chemical. It's built into some humans to really like parenting.
And I,
I will,
I think you'll find that too.
I love dogs,
man.
Get yourself a fucking dog.
I'm telling you,
get yourself a lab,
a real smart one that you can take it hunting or something.
Have it like go fetch a pheasant or doves or something.
Oh,
what a good girl you are.
You're the best girl. I didn't even teach you to do that. You didn't even chew this one up. it like go fetch a pheasant or doves or something you'd be like oh what a good girl you are you're
the best girl i didn't even teach you to do that you didn't even chew this one up and then it'll
die in like eight to ten years and you'll be like ah you can just re-up re-up time now i get to start
over with a whole new puppy and guess what i could stomp this puppy right now and they wouldn't come
take me away they might that's true as long as they don't find out you don't tell anybody you're
stomping puppies.
You do that in your private time.
That's what I'm doing wrong.
If your kid was shitty until they're 18, I don't think that's necessarily true.
What if they get to be like, oh, eight?
I thought you said you wouldn't know at 18.
Yeah.
I was going to say if you find out when they're like 11 that they're shitty, that's a rough
next seven years, I would think.
I feel like it takes way longer than that. You don't know until your kid's like 25 if they're shitty that's enough that's a rough next seven years i would think i feel like it
takes way longer than that you you don't know until your kid's like 25 if you tell they're
ugly though like right away like like by the time you're like this is gonna be a ugly little you
can probably see that going in just knowing who and your wife are you gotta you gotta wait like
15 or 16 to know that because there's always those huge reversals for between like late i don't know his
head's the size of a melon and he's got a lazy eye i don't there are that dude from this guy
who's the harry potter dude that like won puberty oh yeah the the kid that played neville longbottom
oh yeah he because he was fat in the movie. He went from a pudgy little doe-faced kid, like the
punchline of all the jokes, much like
in the stories, by the way. He was
also sort of like the pudgy little nerdy
kid, but at the end of the books
he arises as a hero, and his parents
were both Aurors,
I think is the word. They were like
magical police, like badasses.
And they were tortured to death.
And he was left as an orphan, much like Harry Potter.
And if Harry Potter had have died, he would have been the one to fulfill the prophecy.
Wasn't he the one who was like, I just want to be involved with plants and things?
Yeah, he was into herbology.
Can you imagine how fucking lame you have to be to go to a wizarding academy and opt in to the plant department?
They weren't magical plants, though.
So he could have gone to the Fire Maesters Guild of whatever it's called.
Just as an interruption, if anyone's watching the video version of this, I'm showing you pictures of what Neville Longbottom did in puberty.
Yeah, he turned out well.
He was a puberty genius.
He did. He turned out well. I was a puberty genius. He did.
He turned out well.
I wouldn't have known they were the same people.
Yeah.
All those kids got hot.
Like Jenny Weasley.
Like everybody in the Harry Potter movie.
Even Ron turned out real.
They turned into real attractive adults.
I'd be up for another Harry Potter movie starring the main cast. Let me see what they're doing as adults. I'd be up for another Harry Potter movie,
like starring the main cast.
Let me see what they're doing as adults.
I'd watch that shit.
But they're not going to do that.
They're doing the Grindelwald stuff.
Oh, who's Grindelwald?
Grindelwald's an evil wizard.
From Harry Potter?
Yeah, it's a prequel they're doing now.
What would you do with the story?
Could Harry Potter be a bad guy?
Could he be Voldemort?
No, because they kind of, in the books,
the way the books end is they jump forward like 10 or 15 years
and they show you that everything is not only happily ever after,
it's like super duper happily ever after.
And like the main characters' children are now going to school together
and they're all like fine upstanding wizard adults and such.
I never even read the books and so it like authors retroactively inserting things into lore like i know that that happens not just with jk rowling and harry potter some actors you know
some authors rather will do that but i especially don't care when it's harry potter but like if lord
if it happened lord of the rings suddenly i'd be the one spurging like she'll just randomly tweet stuff
that'll be like actually Hagrid frequented bathhouses and he both
sucked and was sucked by other male wizards yeah and Ginny was a secret
lesbo the whole time and so she pegged Harry nightly with her magic wand. And like people on Twitter would be like, i can't think of an example of like the minor
details that she'd add like hey you know just so you know harry potter likes soccer a lot you know
that's what he not he wasn't just a quidditch champion he was a striker for the the london
london cocksuckers yeah and and but then like people say as a joke started adding like
more ridiculous ones
about them literally being gay together and stuff like that.
Yeah, it's funny.
I want to talk about that crazy shooting.
You did not see the video, right?
I saw a partial clip on Twitter the night of or the day of,
and I'm glad I did not see
giving people in New Zealand jail
time for sharing that video
why
because they're trying to like
they don't want to share it that's probably not going to
work you'll just like get the kind of people who would
share it to share it more and like anonymous
accounts and they're talking about like
I want to say they got a guy and they're talking
about giving him like 16 or 17 years in prison for sharing that video holy shit that's insane as
if it were as if you were scared yeah as if you were sharing child pornography man woody we were
just talking about the the shooting in new zealand and how they're clamping down in new zealand on
the sharing of that video and they're talking about giving people jail time they caught a guy
i'm told who uh had shared the video and they're talking about giving people jail time they caught a guy i'm told who uh had shared the video they're talking about giving him 16 or 17 years in prison
for sure that's some dystopian shit did you guys see the video oh yeah i saw the whole thing me too
i saw i do not want to watch that whole thing you saw the full 16 minute video i want to say mine
was 13 or something but it begins with him getting in his car and the first thing he says is remember lads subscribe to pootie pie that might have been cut off i mine began with him i think
getting out of his car okay yeah i got about five solid minutes of him driving playing meme music
and sort of talking to himself in the stream occasionally like he he went into the alley
by the mosque and he got into one of those like three point turn scenarios where it's over and over.
And he was like, this is some Harry Potter or this is a real Austin Powers shit here.
Like from the Austin Powers movie where he's a champ.
And I'm watching this like.
Is this the guy who's I know what I've clicked here, I know what I've been shared, like, like, is is he really gonna do this because he seemed normal
i had the same thoughts but afterwards i had seen him do it and then i hear his voice it's
it's kiwi i guess but to me it's australian like they're close they're very similar i can barely
pick them apart and it's just like i associate that accent with kind of a fun loving guy who'd
like i was gonna say that exact thing fun loving yeah who you'd like to be friends with. I was going to say that exact thing. Fun loving.
Yeah.
They're like Southerners, like Southern Americans, but without the ignorance and racism.
That's what I think of Australians as.
They're like outdoorsy, fun loving, beer drinking, like fun people.
Barbecuing.
Dude, so I saw the video.
He gets out of the car and then he goes,
he sort of goes straight to the mosque.
He puts Kyle.
Do you know what that first rifle was?
Not the shotgun,
but was it an M four air 15 variant?
Yes.
Air 15 of some kind,
you know,
he can't tell make and model by like some people.
He's got written on the things.
I was going to say that with,
uh,
so it's a black,
it's scary black rifle.
And it looks like he wrote in white out all over it. Remember then the world war ii when they put crazy patterns on the boat so you couldn't
tell what direction they were going that's what happens to me when i try to identify this rifle
like maybe if you hadn't written with white out everything and he also had a shotgun could you
recognize the shotgun i don't know those types of shotguns really well it was a semi-automatic
uh but it also seemed there was a pump so maybe maybe it was the benelli i know benelli makes the benelli m3 i think i thought it
was like a semi-auto uh remington 890 or something like like yeah well that's if you uh if you went
to his it was a twitter account while it was still i saw him pumping it but i also saw him
shooting it in what appeared to be semi-auto, and there are some models that do both simultaneously.
Did you guys see his Twitter account? I could be wrong about that, but when he walks up to the door,
it just looked like he was going boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
like semi-automatic.
I didn't see him pumping.
Not to brag, but I feel like I'm more likely to be wrong on this topic.
So let's go with you.
So, yeah, he had a shotgun,
and he had what I'll call an ar-15 variant of some sort
uh he used the shotgun fired maybe five shots out of it with two or three kills eight or nine he
okay long extended tube and and then he did he set it down or just switch threw it to the ground
threw it to the yeah so he goes in shotgun shoots a couple people throws it to the ground
inside i'm making this part up but i want to say there were like 40 or 50 muslims
kneeling but when he gets there because they heard him shoot at the doorway they had all rushed for
a door that didn't open and it either didn't open maybe it opened inwards and they were all pushing
against it or maybe it was locked but he had people in a corner frozen and he just shot and
shot and shot did he lock him like lock like planet and you didn't have to he was standing
at the only exit it didn't look like they were trying to get away it looked to me like they were
trying to pray it looked to me like they were trying to pray for salvation there was a door
in that corner shot it and they weren't going for it like the door was
like for closer to him than the corner and there wasn't a door in both corners and they were just
they're just in the corner in a big pile like a lot of them on their hands and knees you know
praying as they do and he just maybe hiding behind each other and he did not stop and you know so he
shot them all in quotes if you're listening to this and then in the other
corner shoots them all one guy ran for him and it wasn't an easy environment to run at the shooter
have all of us done the school shooting mental exercise where we're like i'd stand i'd stand
next to the doorway just as he comes in grab his gun and wrestle him and once i get my hands on the
gun it's just as much mine as his,
and he has no defense against a monster like me.
It wasn't like that in this shooting.
To get to the guy, you would have to run, I'm making it up, 40 feet.
And someone gave that a go and kind of got to him.
He might have even had hands on him, but he shrugged him, shot, shot, shot,
and that was the only guy that made a move to end it.
But he shrugged him, shot, shot, shot.
And that was the only guy that made a move to end it. Yeah.
And then once he's sort of combed through the mass of people once or twice and reloaded a couple times.
Lots of times.
He starts shooting them in the head.
And then he gets down to his last magazine.
And he realizes he's on his last magazine, I suppose.
And he doesn't want to be unarmed.
So he starts walking back to his car,
and he starts shooting at people who are in the parking lot,
people who are on the sidewalk walking around.
But they were dressed Muslim, right?
I think.
That's what I took from it,
is that he was only shooting people who were dressed like Arab garb.
Maybe the hat thing that even the guys wear.
Yeah, maybe the hat thing or the robes like
he was only shooting those people it seemed he was out there shooting in the front yard
oh yeah oh yeah it might have had a gate down the sidewalk one way and fired five shots looked down
the sidewalk in the opposite way and fired five shots and he walks to his car and he just swaps
the rifle out for a completely different rifle. AUG? Maybe?
No.
Just another AR.
It had an AUG looking stock to me.
I'm not really sure.
There was one of them that had a thumb hole stock.
AR.
Those AUGs are expensive.
Really expensive.
Wasn't there a second shooter at a different mosque?
No.
It was all one shooter. I heard four people got arrested. like five times the cost wasn't there a second shooter at a different mosque no there was it
was all one shooter oh i heard like i had like four people got arrested yeah they they released
uh the other two people those were not those were false arrests so he gets back to his car and he
gets he retrieves another rifle and maybe some more ammo and he goes back in and starts shooting
each of them in the head same mosque he goes back into goes back into the same mosque. There's a big room.
Remember I said there were maybe 40 people who I assume were praying right
before we got there,
but kind of rushed to the sides because of the gunshots.
And he just starts going through the bodies.
And that was one of the hardest parts to watch.
You know,
I think there were some who were maybe just injured.
And I think there might've been some that were playing possum.
Yeah.
You know,
I can't be sure.
And he just like head shotted into the mass of people. And I think there might've been some that were playing possum. Yeah. You know, I can't be sure. And,
and he just like head shotted into the mass of people,
pluck,
pluck,
pluck,
pluck,
pluck.
And something about that,
like registered on my emotional hurt scale,
even more than the initial killings.
Like that's so methodical.
And cause there was something about when he was just spraying into the
crowd that it was almost like the video is a little blurry. like you can't you don't you know they're people but you
don't see people really you can't make out people but when he's taking his time and going methodically
from one of the other and shooting them in the head once or at least once maybe twice that was
fucked and uh he he'd make sure basically that he gets them all like that there's no one going that's going
to survive and i'm going to say he killed 30 right there the room was like symmetrical but i want to
say there the crowd was split like two-thirds one-third he went to the one-third part and there
was a woman who like while he was gone sat up and was cradling what i'll call lovingly either a dead body or someone very hurt. And he killed her too.
And I was like,
no,
no flinch.
No,
like think about it.
Just,
just,
there was no mercy in this guy.
Yeah.
Just shot her in the head.
Uh,
she was sitting up sort of against the doorway,
like one of those doors that has the big long push handle on it.
And,
uh,
then he goes outside and there's a woman maybe 30 or 40 yards away wearing
like the full black stuff and he shoots her from maybe 30 or 40 yards away i don't know why she was
still walking in the direction of the moss like didn't she hear the gunshots but whatever maybe
she might not recognize it as a gunshot like you hear a gunshot and you know that was there
were probably there were probably bodies in the front lawn not really it's a couple blocks away
if it's the same one i'm thinking of yeah he he basically like she's on the ground sort of in the
gutter uh like screaming help me help me please jesus christ and he walks right up to her and
shoots her twice in the head.
And you see a piece of her skull fly off with the hair attached and slide across the pavement.
Then he gets back into his car, which is still blaring.
I know this part.
Yeah.
Like meme music.
And he drives her body over.
So he killed her in front of his car.
And now he's going to go.
He's going to head out. It's not the one that's a couple blocks away that i was thinking of and he just drives over the body
like and it and it's weird it's a dead body right so you'd think that would be maybe i don't want to
say not a big deal but not a big deal but that kind of callousness was like one of the more
emotionally scarring parts of
the video.
And then this is a later,
he goes like,
I'm going to call it four blocks away,
my foggy memory.
And he sees people maybe between houses down the road.
And the video quality is not great.
But again,
I hope this isn't disrespectful to say they're dressed Muslim,
you know,
like you could identify and maybe flowy clothes and he shoots them too.
And it's like,
Oh,
they weren't even in the hot spot but they
weren't safe because he drove by and saw him is that how you remember it he's got the shotgun and
he shoots straight through the windshield and uh and kills a guy and then he pumps again and
shoots through the hole he's made and either gets a second or he finishes off the first and then he drives maybe you know two seconds
farther and and you out the passenger window you can see another guy and he goes click and he's
like oh shit what there we go and he then he shoots that guy through the passenger window
blows the passenger window out kills that guy and then he's you know And then he's already put in the directions to the new mosque
and his navigation and it's guiding him to the second
mosque. Oh, that's what he did?
That's where he's going. Yeah, he's heading
to the second mosque. What happens?
He didn't go to it, right?
Yeah, he went there and he killed more people.
I don't think my
video had two mosques. It doesn't have it.
It cuts off, but before it cuts
off, he's talking to the camera and he's like you know i think i had time for the fuel i should have used the fuel i'd
have loved to burn a mosque down i heard that because he did have these gas cans in the back
that like they had maybe a little pipe bomb attached to him or something maybe something
you light and throw yeah i heard they found a car with a bomb in it too in a different location
yeah that wasn't his car that's that dude it that was a
different he was a stone that was someone killer which is a term i used not a term i use a term
i've heard used positively almost but when you see an actual stone cold killer in action
it's emotionally scarring did you see what he did when the white lack of empathy there were
like white people walking across the intersection in front of him,
and he goes, beep, beep, come on now, move out of the way.
He was clearly sparing them.
He wasn't...
I did, yeah.
It didn't register me like it did for me.
I didn't hear about that.
I saw it.
I remember thinking, what if he were that guy?
He was polite-ish.
He did honk at him a little, but like...
Tappy friendly.
If you're that guy, you start sprinting away. He doesn't
know, right? Although if you look to the left
in the car that's giving you the little friendly
beep beep, has the windshield
blown out, and a guy's wearing a
military helmet and a full tactical vest,
you're like, sorry, mate.
Moving along,
you pump your arms. You do
the fake fast run.
This video was in my
top 10, maybe even
top 5 most emotionally scarring videos
I've seen online. I have no desire to
watch this. I only saw the short
clip of
the last part I saw was the guy
rushing at him where you have
that thought for a second where you're like
in my head, I'm like, obviously
he doesn't stop him because this is a video that's going viral right now it would have gone viral either
way but you know what i mean and then you see him like do something heroic try and stop him
and it was almost like a crunch back to reality where it was like oh shit that probably is what
happens in real life oh this guy snuck up on me well i'm in tactical gear shrug pop pop pop that's
what happened.
And that guy's life is over.
Like, I only saw...
I didn't see any of the car stuff, I don't think.
I saw him, like, shoot into corners.
Like, over and over.
But yeah, I do not want to watch the whole 60-minute video.
That was enough.
With the exception of the shooter, you can't really fault anyone in the video, right?
You think, like, I'll be that brave guy that rushes them.
But you might not be. You know, it looked
pretty hopeless.
Playing Possum,
you would be forgiven for thinking playing Possum
was your best strategy. Did you see his Twitter
account before? I always say that.
His Twitter account was still up, and like,
if you scrolled to, like, near the
bottom, because it wasn't a very new
account, but there had been stuff posted,
and he posted pictures of his body armor and his guns
and his like with the threatening messages written on there.
Like only some of the words were in English.
I don't know what language the other ones were.
Yeah, he had a lot of shit written on there.
But it was like he stated he was going to do this days in advance.
Yeah.
I don't think he stated it on Twitter.
I think he like stated it on 8chan. dude i i forget who i was either cnn or msnbc when i kind of
news junkie and they had an internet expert talking about it and they they did such a good
job he's like he was almost warning other news outlets to get an internet expert they're like he has a lot of
memes out there this guy's part of internet culture he's saying subscribe to pewdiepie
when you do your reporting you need to know that like pewdiepie is not responsible for this
and yeah you know when he says the navy seals copy pasta he put that in his manifesto right
i didn't i didn't know that part of it.
But the internet expert, who I will, as the guy who spends time on the internet, I will vouch for.
Like, he knew which parts were, like, meme-y, goofy things and which parts were actual manifesto.
He's a troll.
This guy's an internet troll.
Didn't he say explicitly, like, my whole goal, I'm going to turn everybody against each other, I'm going to cause
more attacks all over the place, I'm going to cause
the media's going to buy, everybody's going to
be divided, I'm doing
that. That was his
goal, right? To try and divide people and start
violence? That and he
some of the things he had written on
his guns were the victims of Islamic
terror in New Zealand
and Europe.
A little girl that had been crushed and torn apart and uh some some rape victims and murder victims uh that he had
written on his on his gun that he felt that he was avenging i thought it was i thought the the
meme stuff he had built into it was interesting because if you're i'll grab it rain like jake tapper reporting
on this you don't know what's real and what's a goof you need to have an assistant you know who
spends too much time on 4chan to help you there were like people unironically like blue checkmark
journalists like being like fuck pewdiepie and fuck supporters oh yeah oh they fell for it people like fuck him you enough
is enough enough stories have come out about pewdiepie supporting these monsters and it's like
holy shit give pewdiepie a break he did not want to be a part of this at all he makes silly videos
on youtube and then he also like people were buying into some of his i didn't see his like full
manifesto i just saw people who like clipped some stuff and posted on twitter and i saw uh one that
a couple i don't not nearly as many people bid onto this as uh you know candace owens the the
conservative talking i don't know her the the black woman who's very popular uh like on twitter
and she goes on Fox sometimes.
She's not one of those sisters that goes on
Fox, right? No, no, no.
She's a pretty popular figure though.
On the right wing.
And
she was in his
manifesto where his little questions
where he was like, what inspired
you to do this? And he said
super obviously like
like fucking around like oh candace owens she definitely inspired me the most out of anyone
but some of her views go too far so i can't follow her entirely and like i like mostly what
i saw was candace owens like tweeting back to her all these all these liberals trying
to blame me for this uh attack or something and like at the time when she was doing all that i
was like nope i have not seen a single person in implicate you in this i'm sure some people have
like there are millions of people on twitter i'm sure they have but i haven't seen any mainstream
people doing this like it was almost like she was getting out ahead of it like doing that whole like man everybody's coming after me everybody like this and that and it's
like no i think probably not a bad thing right away that well but i'm gonna tell you right now
if he'd been like the rape squad killers are really inspired we immediately all right so the
real sweet kids have nothing to do with this, okay? Yeah.
We don't know who this guy is.
We disavow, disavow in the strongest language,
the most powerful terms.
Well, no, of course we would do that,
but she wasn't doing just that.
She was doing, like, the whole, like...
Like, I think she was kind of doing
what a lot of people do,
which is politicize these things immediately
and try and, like, get some points
where she's like,
all these lefties can't stop attacking me for this.
You're going to blame a black conservative woman for a bombing
or a shooting in New Zealand?
Come on now.
And it was like, come on.
It wasn't a very appropriate, I don't think, way to respond.
But then again, she's in a very – I can't really judge because,
like you said, if my name was in there, you'd freak the fuck out immediately. You'd be like, I don't even know because like you said if my name was in there
you'd freak the fuck out immediately
you'd be like I don't even know what to say
I don't know if I'd invent a narrative where people are coming after me
because non-internet culture people
don't get it and they'll never get it
if I sat my dad down
and started trying to explain
Pepe
and this number,
right?
Like,
like,
well,
it doesn't mean white power,
but some people pretended it means white power.
And so other people believed it meant white power.
So in response to that,
some people who actually want it to mean white power started using it as white
power.
And that just refueled the people who thought initially that it did mean white
power.
And it confused the people who initially didn't knew it didn't mean white power and so now you can no longer play the
oh yes they looked at it now i get to hit you in the arm did you see the guy that's exactly
shooting yeah that's exactly it the guy who did the shooting was standing there like in court and
they blurred his face out and he's in his orange jumpsuit and he like did that thing with like the upside down he held it down yeah he did that in his
picture and it's like dude this is he's still goofing off i can't believe this he's still
murdering cold blood double tapping people over over 50 people and he's still like memeing about it's like what kind
of person well i guess we know what kind of person this is a mask we know what kind of person uh an
evil person but we know like as i was like looking at the details of it like unfolding i just like
reading what people were reporting which i'm sure a lot of it's wrong by now i was like this this
doesn't feel real this does this feels like like a green text on 4chan of someone making up a story.
Like,
I can't believe that this actually happened.
So yeah,
it's a whole bunch of like new things about this.
The meme culture thing is new.
The fact that Jake Tacker now needs a internet expert to help him navigate
this thing,
which Kyle apparently would do really well.
I like the white power thing and like, that's new. You know what? internet expert to help him navigate this thing which kyle apparently would do really well i like
the white power thing and like that's new um you know what i'm glad that i'm not hearing that he's
a coward right i i hear that narrative a lot and it's like look this guy's pure evil this guy's a
lot but like coward is not one of his flaws. Apparently. I know Kyle's like back off.
That's the thing.
I heard all the September 11th killers that they were all cowards.
And then like every once in a while,
someone would be like,
you know what though?
Like lots of flaws with them,
but cowardness,
not the one.
Oh,
stop.
You're fucking around.
I don't know about any of that.
I don't know about any of that,
but I will say guys,
bad callous guy. Callous. It's, but I will say, Bill Callis, guy.
Callis.
It's interesting that he was taken alive.
I predict he'll make a bit of a circus
out of the court proceedings.
If they don't...
If he wants to represent himself,
he fired his attorney,
and he's representing himself.
They're not going to let any of his words
get to the public.
If New Zealand is already making it
a crime for years in prison
to even have the video, there's no
way they're going to give him any more air time.
I was immediately like, I know people who downloaded
it because we knew that the video would get
sucked out of the internet as
quickly as they could, although there is...
It's difficult to do that sort of thing.
And I know some people who downloaded it
and I was like,
they're not doing that to Americans though, are they?
They're not throwing us in jail for having the video. you should avoid it just in case yeah oh i don't have
just to be clear like i i you get off scot-free and then this is what does he hit just to be
clear like like when it happened we heard about it happening like an hour afterwards like and
and everybody was like this thing happened there's a video of it and i was like no it didn't there's not a video of it and it's like yeah he's wearing a gopro and and and they linked
the video and we got into a call like like this you know maybe five or six of us and we watched
it you know at the same time and we could not believe what we were fucking seeing because it's
it is the most extreme i'm trying to think of the right verbiage to use here.
It's just ruthless.
Well, I've never seen a shooting like this before.
It's the sort of thing that you hear about
or you read about,
but you've never seen before.
Dude, so I heard it described as a video game, right?
I've heard it said that it looks like a video game.
And I thought, whatever.
I've heard that a million times,
but these are all from non-gamers.
Dude, the graphics are degraded just enough he's got it on his helmet like a
first-person shooter your line of sight is down the barrel you're practically aiming with the
gopro it's just a few inches too high it really looked like a first-person shooter oh and he said
he was inspired by fortnite which is funny he He said, yeah, he sharpened his skills.
Playing Fortnite.
The guy's a real troll.
And you're right about them needing internet experts to explain this to like anyone.
Forget old people.
I don't mean to just be like, yeah, anybody over 40, you're not going to understand this.
Anybody who's not like steeped in internet culture, like if you're not on Reddit or 4chan or on message boards,
if you're not paying attention to what's going on in the world
and the ongoing, it evolves every day.
It evolves every day, the memes and the jokes
and the trolling that happens.
And if you're not aware that subscribe to PewDiePie
doesn't even mean subscribe to PewDiePie anymore.
It means, you know, I'm part of it.
Hey, it's one.
I'm one of you, by the way, is what it means.
It's like it's like a it's like a wink and a nod.
Like, hey, I'm one of you kind of thing.
Yeah, I'm an Internetter.
Yeah, yeah.
He's he's he lives like I know the memes.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's that.
But but it was it was ridiculous to watch.
It was weird.
It was weird to watch that go down
and to see that
he just kept shooting and shooting and shooting.
I've seen much more graphics.
There's a seven round magazine limit in New Zealand, by the way.
Seven.
He broke that rule.
He broke that rule.
Yes.
My Kiwi friend said that the gun stores are sold out
That makes sense
Oh yeah because they're about to ban guns I think
Did they even try thoughts and prayers
Briefly
Briefly
Some of them did
So oh geez Kyle that registered with me yeah for a very short period
of time they tried uh um yeah i don't know i'm glad we talked about it on pkn it was brutal i
saw it it was rough it was surreal i've seen warrior death surreal yeah i've seen gorier, gorier deaths. Surreal. Yeah. I've seen gorier deaths that were less impactful.
I've seen ISIS do like, I don't know, people on their knees line them up and do, I couldn't even count, 150 headshots in a row.
And somehow that didn't seem as brutal as this video.
Yeah.
I think part of it was that like it had this quality kind of like that scene in Reservoir Dogs where he's torturing the cop.
But then he walks outside to his car and everything else is normal.
You know, it's a bright sunny day and the birds are chirping and you hear kids and cars.
And it's like this is the real world that we all exist in.
But just behind that door is like extraordinary evil.
And you kind of had that in a way with that video because he gets out of his car and everything's still okay.
You know, someone walks in front of his car and everything's still okay. You know,
someone walks in front of his car and he gives him a thumbs up and the guy
goes and the guy waves back at him.
Everything's still okay.
You can go home,
you can go home.
And then,
you know,
he,
even when he gets out with the gun and this tactical shit and he's walking
up to the mosque,
even when he's in the parking lot,
you probably still just go home,
man.
You can,
you can just go.
And then he starts shooting and it's,
it's everything is just flipped upside down.
I wonder how many people have turned around at the last second.
How many people have been outside a mosque, a black church, a synagogue,
whatever, and been like, you know, I could just not.
And didn't.
Well, we don't know because we never hear about those guys yeah what was the when you
say he was playing meme music i heard that like i heard people literally saying meme music i don't
know the titles to those songs it's it silly music silly playing silly music and it's like a
it's like a weird it's like the uh rape and crippling scene in Clockwork Orange,
where there's a juxtaposition of something very evil
and then just a gay, lighthearted,
do-do-do-do-do kind of attitude being put on it by the perpetrator.
And it's like that in itself is really...
Oh, by the way, you may have read...
It's weird and upsetting.
You may have read that Mark Hunt's uncle was killed in the attack,
but he was not.
That was fake news.
I didn't see that.
Mark Hunt is a UFC fighter, for people listening.
Oh.
From New Zealand.
Yeah.
Well, it's a really fucked up situation.
Yeah, I look forward to watching the trial, honestly.
I want to see if he...
They're not going to televise it.
I don't know how their laws work.
Maybe there will be a written transcript.
Perhaps I'd be interested to read it.
You know,
I wonder if he snaps out of it along the way.
Like,
I think that dude is gone.
I just,
I don't know.
Like the reality of sitting in a cell by yourself,
maybe with your own thoughts,
like doing something as heartless as like double tapping like children
and women and then like i think once you've done something like that like you're you're in like
you know you're never gonna you're never gonna be like you're never gonna see what you did for
how bad it is i yeah i don't think he's ever he'll never understand it I think the room with no stimulation
alone with your thoughts
might
cause him to process it
I think that we
as normal people
I think we almost wish cast
that like we want them to sit
there and realize what they did was
evil but like the fact
that he was still doing
like the oh you looked at my finger uh i get to punch you in the arm like fucking grade school
joke as he's standing there in a orange jumpsuit i love your phrasing with the wish cast like i get
it um and it doesn't even have to be like oh no i changed my mind even if he was just like, I fucked up so bad.
I guess I'm just going to rot in jail forever now.
I wish I hadn't.
Well, do they have the death penalty in New Zealand?
I don't know.
I doubt it.
I wonder if he's got the internet.
For all I know.
I mean, seriously.
He found 16 chants somehow,
and he's got to double it again.
Yeah, who knows what the laws are like in New Zealand
as far as that sort of thing.
No, they don't have capital punishment anymore.
I mean, that's for the best.
We didn't talk about it on the show last week,
but California, I believe, abolished capital punishment,
and everybody who's on death row...
Is it abolished?
Yeah, I know they did something.
Yeah, the governor signed an order.
That's for the best.
Capital punishment doesn't work.
Oh, I agree with you.
It doesn't work, and it's more costly.
We've talked about this before.
It'd be one thing if they were just lining them up
and executing them, but that's not how it works.
It's just a more costly version of life in prison.
So Kyle's essentially right.
It was actually a judge that got rid of it.
And the California death penalty has been declared unconstitutional.
So it's permagon.
Good.
Good.
So waste of time and money.
Waste of time and money.
Nobody's like, I was going to go do some killing today.
But if they're going to kill me back, back no thanks like nobody has said that once ever
snapped or you broke up a little there i am i would be more in favor of capital punishment
if they always got it right or only used it when they were triple dog sure right and it was cheaper
but it always seems
to be literally more expensive than keeping them in jail forever it's the opposite of what you just
said it's the opposite it's it's it's all the bad parts it's all the it's all the worst things you
can imagine you know and certainly you don't want to put someone to death that might be turned out
innocent you know that happened with the the dna thing right you know suddenly there was dna and we can go back on these old cases and all
these lifers are getting set free and it's it's like oh what a tragedy you've done 15 20 years
and you definitely didn't rape that woman because it's not your dna who knows what the next like dna
type uh criminal analysis is going to be you know like like maybe there's some some new
technology that would come up with that set somebody free that we might have killed otherwise
on our current capital punishment law yeah i right skin flakes or i don't know i can't imagine it but
i don't know i didn't imagine dna either there you go you know and then they then they didn't
understand fingerprints
a long time ago either.
Yeah.
He was there, but now he's not,
so we can't tell if he was there.
Who do you think did it, Watson?
I don't know.
No one's here.
If only we got here sooner.
I saw Black in the alleyway out back.
Ha ha!
Well, I guess that's a shame.
Black of the face, black of the heart.
I thought this was a good show.
That's what I always say.
Normally,
normally when
a show is really good, I pitch
like, let's make this a public one, you know?
But no, I don't think
that's a good idea. I don't like that idea.
I don't want to
excel off the backs of this awful fucking
tragedy it was dark i felt bad all day after i watched that video i asked for a couple days i
really did that person i i like if you're not calloused then you don't get it i'm calloused
to internet content i see it all the time and this one still got me. Yeah, I guess I'm glad there wasn't part two to that video
because he definitely went to another mosque.
That's where he was headed.
At the end of the video you and I watched,
he's driving to the second mosque.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know we talked this already,
but the way he went in and out of real life, and he
stayed committed
to the evil for so long.
He went back to
his car to get more bullets.
He didn't waver.
And he was not affected by it.
The casual conversation that he's having with
the camera minutes after doing it all
is sort of a jovial it it sounded like someone having a conversation regretting how like a game
had just went like a video game they're like you know i think i could have gotten them both
i don't know if i had enough time though you know i didn't want to get stuck outside the circle
that's how that's how that's literally the way His only regret was that he thinks he could have been more destructive.
Yeah, he was regretful that he didn't
burn the mosque down.
Yeah, just
awful.
Awful.
PKN 239.