Painkiller Already - PKN #244

Episode Date: May 3, 2019

It's PKN time baby! ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I pressed it. All right, PKN episode 244. Kyle was just going on about Star Wars. He's not a fan. I am a fan, so we'll see where this goes. God damn, it's garbage. Which one are you talking about right now? They were like, could the white male be interesting?
Starting point is 00:00:15 No, absolutely not. He's talking about the most recent in the main thread of Star Wars. So the most recent is Solo. Before that was the one where Luke Skywalker comes back. I forget forget that episode eight episode eight i think it is you know and is this the one with the girl lightsaber or yeah yeah and then the the stormtrooper who's now a black guy and it's not that cuban who i was glad to believe was all the stormtroopers okay correct correct well all right now that's canon the the fact that they've gotten away from everyone being the same clone of Boba Fett. I have so little knowledge on the subject. That's the only nail sticking out of the board I have anything on.
Starting point is 00:00:54 Long before we were inclusive for the point of being inclusive, Star Troopers got diverse. I think they ran out of clones. Does that sound right? Kyle might know. I think they ran out of clones. Does that sound right? Kyle might know. Essentially, yes. They ran out of clones. I want to say that there were some attacks on that water world where the cloning was being done. But also, I want to say they ran into the old Xerox issue of copies of copies are not very effective. But in Star Wars episode, and look, I'm a longtime hater of Star Wars, but I'm a longtime-time lover of the lore of Star Wars and the nitty-gritty details of Star Wars. I find it fascinating. And I've always thought they had this wonderful background, wonderful story, and wonderful idea.
Starting point is 00:01:36 And then George Lucas is just a faggot. But this – oh, my God. He's on to something. They get – he recently came out and said that – You're seeming pretty credible. I want to hear, Kyle, what he said. you know who hates Star Wars Star Wars fans, right? No one hates Jar Jar Binks as much as people who like Star Wars No one gets angry at what a faggot c-3po is he's like a I don't know a gay wimpy librarian android Why yeah, why I'm okay. He's the kind of comic relief I can stand.
Starting point is 00:02:05 I have no issues with C-3PO. Oh, dear, sir. Somehow I'll make it through this desert all by myself with this little faggot robot. Aspects of Star Wars are designed to sell toys. That whole thing
Starting point is 00:02:23 about the pod racing, I'm like, this isn't here for the video game. They are planning on the merchandising and the video games and all that bullshit as they come up with the plot of the movie. As a 12-year-old, that part of the movie was sick. See, I was too old for it. I was like, man, I want to be a pod racer. I went with friends from work, right? It's a different environment. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:47 What specifically did you hate about it? George Lucas recently came out and said that Jar Jar Binks was his favorite Star Wars character. So let that sink in. Oh, he's trolling. He's clearly trolling. Oh, I hope he is. The billionaire creator of the beloved franchise is trolling. No, he's serious because he's
Starting point is 00:03:04 a piece of shit. So Star Wars Episode VIII, you know, I recently watched it. I know it's been out for well over a year or something like that or close to it. But it's been on Netflix, and I was like, holy shit, 4K, let's go. And I watched the thing, and I'm watching it, and I'm watching it, and it's being a little annoying because, like, basically, Rey, the female Jedi apprentice, is going to Luke fucking Skywalker to be trained. And he's like, the Jedi need to die.
Starting point is 00:03:33 And I'm like, okay, I can deal with that. This guy's tired of this shit. He's like, the Jedi need to die. Luke wants to kill the Jedi? Well, not that he wants to kill the Jedi. He's like, there don't need to be any more Jedi. Like, stop making them. Stop making them. He's like, I'm not going to he's like i'm not gonna train you
Starting point is 00:03:45 to be a jedi like they don't need to be any more jedi and and and there's this whole like sort of tearing up of the old embracing of the new there's even a scene where like even luke is hanging on to the old books the old jedi manuscripts and something like that and but he's thinking about burning them and then he's like, no, don't burn them. And then Yoda shows up, like Yoda's ghost. And he goes, hmm, lightning. And he burns them. He burns them all.
Starting point is 00:04:12 And the Jedi sacred tree. And Luke's like, the sacred scrolls. And Yoda goes, not much of a page turner, are they? So even Yoda is like, yeah, fuck the the old that's so funny i did not think there would be a book burning portion there was a book burning there was a book burning in star wars sig heil and so and so finally the time comes when our heroes are getting scarce they are being wiped the fuck out the resistance is there's at first there's maybe like 10 000 and then there's like 5 000 and then it's like shit there's 1 000 of them left and then it's like are
Starting point is 00:04:52 there more than 200 i don't think so and they're like backed into a corner it's a very um um what is it from um lord of the rings it's a it's a helm's Deep scenario. They are backed into this little corner, this box canyon. They put up the giant wall and the Empire is there and they have a new super weapon that's for like a siege weapon. It's like Death Star technology on the ground
Starting point is 00:05:17 and they're blasting the door and the door has been blown open and it's about to be game over because the bad motherfucker the Sith Lord from the Empire is there. He's got all of his at-ats and fucking attack troopers, and everybody's there, and it's game over. The numbers appear to be 200 versus. It's hard to count 100,000, 200,000, 200,000 infinity.
Starting point is 00:05:41 The bad guy in this, this is Kylo. Kylo Ren, yeah, Kylo Ren's there, and he is mad, which matters when you're a Sith. We always talk about how getting mad doesn't matter in a real fight, but if you're a Sith and you're literally powered by rage and hate... I am the most powerful Sith
Starting point is 00:05:57 in the universe! No one can stop me! I'll take you all down! That would be hilarious. It really does matter, because he's reaching new heights of his power, and suddenly fucking Luke Skywalker, who this whole time has been detached from everything,
Starting point is 00:06:15 and he's off on this other planet, living on an island on a planet. And when I say an island, I mean enough room for one guy, really. Is that where he sucks on that animal tit and like yeah yeah it gets the milk yeah got a green game of thrones stole that it was hot and uh but he fucking shows up and i'm just like yes this is the moment that i have watched two and a half hours of nonsense luke luke fucking skywalker is here the guy from my childhood with
Starting point is 00:06:47 the laser sword has fucking arrived and he's got the cloak on you know he's like he's he's and he's super confident he walks out to that out of that door and he faces the tens of thousands of of empire troops or whatever the fuck and kylo like, every gun on that man now. And literally every gun aims at Luke and fires immediately. There's no waiting around. There's no time for a deus ex machina, like fucking William Falcon swoops in. Like, no, Indiana Jones is not coming.
Starting point is 00:07:21 He died in the last movie. They just start shooting him. And the ground is just exploding. He's died. He died in the last movie. They just start shooting him and the ground is just exploding. He is exploding. And because they're on this like salt planet, like, like, like the ground is turning from white to like blood red.
Starting point is 00:07:33 And you just assume that he's just exploding. And I'm like, Oh my God, did they make a joke out of his death? And the smoke clears and he's still standing there like me. So now you think that he deflected all those with his lightsaber because he's been doing that for 30 years or he's just got an energy he has his own aura we're like that sort of technology is way beyond hurting a jedi like luke fucking skywalker
Starting point is 00:07:57 and kylo's like send me down sir we should really maintain this position here and he's just like womp and knocks the guy unconscious. And he goes down to fucking face him. And it's Kylo Ren versus Luke fucking Skywalker. And they engage in lightsaber battle in which Luke is like, at the beginning, he's so hyper confident. He's just like, even if you strike me down, you know, it'll mean nothing. I'll always be with you.
Starting point is 00:08:25 You know, and Kylo's coming at him with these crazy attacks and luke is doing like acrobatics but like lazy acrobatics like this is nothing to him he's like backsliding out of the way and like all this crazy dodging right it's all dodging and it's well understood within the star wars universe that what was it that vader or luke who's like like by far the most powerful to ever exist and most powerful that ever will exist. One of those two, right? It's kind of complicated. Like, I don't think we need I just mean like Kylo running in that like
Starting point is 00:08:53 displayed him being angry because any other Jedi would be like, well, you're going to get butt-fucked. I don't know if they're that easy to stack rank. They're not easy. They're not all that easy to stack rank, but Luke is by far stronger than Kylo. Both with the Force and in lightsaber combat. He's just got more experience
Starting point is 00:09:10 in it. And Darth Vader, however, was more powerful than Luke. But not as powerful as Yoda, who is the best swordsman, etc. And not as powerful as the Emperor. But all the more powerful ones just die. This is like when three teams beat each other during a sports season.
Starting point is 00:09:26 No, it's like, who's really the best? But I think the Emperor is very powerful, but in terms of just lightsaber, I think Yoda is actually on top. It would be difficult to stack. Yoda in lightsaber battle. I thought he just shocked people. Yeah, he did.
Starting point is 00:09:40 He beat Yoda in their crazy fight when they were jumping around in those hovering senator crafts back in like episode 3 in any case this goes on for a bit and and and and Fucking Kylo runs and swings his lightsaber right through Luke like like I know in a strike That would just cut him in half at the waist and Luke turns around like the fuck bro You think that's gonna work and Kylo says like ah and he just stabs the lightsaber into Luke's chest and Luke's cloak is like burning around the lightsaber as it penetrates his entire chest and he's just like meh and that's when you
Starting point is 00:10:20 realize Luke's not even fucking there he is sitting cross-legged floating back on the island planet, and he's just sent his chi to this planet to fake fight Kylo so that the good guys can escape out the back door of Minas Tirith. I think a hologram would be a description everyone understands. He kind of has a Jedi hologram for some reason. Yes, but it's a real, it's really, he's sending his chi there because in doing so, he exerts all of the life force he has remaining and dies for real back on the island planet. And Luke Skywalker thus goes out like the biggest bitch in all of Star Wars. It was shockingly embarrassing.
Starting point is 00:11:03 It was absurd. wars it was shockingly embarrassing it was absurd that that and even mark hamill says this like before they got on him and we're like hey mark uh you want to ever be in anything again you want us to to look into your that part of your contract where it says you can't talk shit you want to talk shit you're gonna get hit george lucas is gonna come down with the yoda squad and we're gonna fucking sue your ass what did he say that was talking mark was like this is not how and this is like two years ago like before the movie came out Mark was like, this is not how, and this is like two years ago, like before the movie came out, Mark was like, I don't like how they handle my character. That is not how Luke Skywalker would have done
Starting point is 00:11:30 things. You know, everybody expected Luke to come back and be like this big, bad badass, and that's just not how things have been handled, and I'm not happy with it, essentially. But wait, there's another motive to look at in this, right? Mark Hamill's complaint is essentially don't you think I should
Starting point is 00:11:46 keep starring in all the Star Wars movies? Nope. There's more. Yeah, it kind of was. It was like, I should be doing triple-decker Lindy's bouncing from diving board to diving board in my lightsaber fights. He can die, but he dies his heroic death.
Starting point is 00:12:02 I die the most. Something appropriate for someone is, no, look, all his heroic death. I die the most. Something appropriate for someone as... No, look. All the Jedi die. They die shitty ways. Obi-Wan Kenobi was really awesome in the prequels, but if you watch how he dies, what does he do? Just lift his lightsaber and let himself get killed?
Starting point is 00:12:17 He absolutely did that. How does Yoda die again? I don't even remember. You probably remember. Yoda just gets sick and dies. Yoda just gets sick and dies. Hepatitis C at once. Yoda just gets sick and dies. Turn the fuck those green grinchers. And by the way, try to find me an old Jedi who doesn't turn into a recluse pussy.
Starting point is 00:12:34 Right? That's what Yoda did. That's what Luke Skywalker did. It was bad every time. It was bad every time. That robot with four arms never was a pussy. He was a general. Oh, he was a Sith though, I think.
Starting point is 00:12:44 General Grievous didn't give a fuck. He was just like, oh, one's not enough. Zoom, zoom, zoom. There's a meme about how many arms get cut off in Star Wars. They just cut arms off all the time throughout the Star Wars movie. And then General Grievous comes out with four arms
Starting point is 00:13:00 and they get cut off one at a time. And you're like, oh my god, really? You're embracing the meme. Luke went out like an absolute asshole. Went out like a complete bitch. I knew he was going to die in this movie. I felt like that was a given and he should die
Starting point is 00:13:16 so that you can make way for the new you know, make way for Rey. Make way for her to become, like he needs to go out like Obi-Wan did and allow Ray to come in as the new Luke type character, you know, whether I like that or not, it's irrelevant, that's how the storyline should have gone, but for him to, like, not even actually be there, for him to be, like, cross-legged, fucking sending his chi across the universe to fake fight the big
Starting point is 00:13:40 bad just to buy time was just such an under he was just so underused like like he's the he's got to be the biggest fan favorite he's my fan he's my favorite i think he was underused and it's hard to watch him be a pussy right because when we were introduced to yoda he was already a pussy cunt bag right like he's impossible to love we aren't i can't do my i am a pussy am i or whatever the fuck he says in the swamp, right? And you meet him, and you don't even know he's the Jedi. He's just like a fucking troll monster from the swamp who's not badass. Don't feed me after midnight.
Starting point is 00:14:18 Thank you. That's a great line, right? So we met Yoda that way. We never saw the swashbuckling lady dipping kissing yoda that might have existed 200 years ago um but when we watched luke skywalker go to that phase of his life that so many jedis seemed to go to and it wasn't fun any like it was hard and it was pretty badass up until the point you realized he was a hologram. Then you're like, ah, I've been pranked. And it's a little bit disappointing.
Starting point is 00:14:47 But I still can't help but look at it, like Mark Hamill's complaints, through the motivation of an actor who wanted to be the coolest guy around. What if whoever played Yoda was like, you know, what we really want to see here is me saving everybody. Yoda got his time in the sun. Yoda got a couple of just insane badass lightsaber battles. Yeah, in the prequel of course. Yeah, he fights Saruman
Starting point is 00:15:12 in that one. I think that's Dumbledore if you're thinking of. No, that's Count Dooku. Yeah, Count Dooku was played by Oh, I didn't get your reference. I'm sorry I thought you were just straight up mixing things
Starting point is 00:15:28 to make sci-fi nerds angry so I actually did just incredibly shockingly disappointing it's just so bad like such a mishandled series and look I get the thing that makes all this money everybody loves it and everything but they don't.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Everybody doesn't love it. I guarantee if you took a fan vote, a fan poll, and there were two options. One was, hey, I'm going to get five options, but I get to pick one of them. I guarantee mine wins, where Luke Skywalker comes in. Not only does he do some crazy piloting on his way there, because he was known for that, almost above anything. He was the greatest pilot in the fucking universe like first he he does some crazy piloting shit where slowly the ship is like like he's he's making he's cutting angles so sharp and he's going through like holes so small
Starting point is 00:16:17 that the ship is slowly being chipped away right and he's doing this for what seems like way too long for the ship to still even be flying but he's using his force powers just to keep it flying and c-3po is on the back doing his repairs he has rejoined with c-3d2 yes our c-3po would be of no assistance unless mark hamill needed do you need help translating yeah yeah absolutely and then he gets there and and he has to hack his way through like a thousand minions first and a few at ads and then when he gets there clearly already injured and and drained he still gives kylo the fight of his life and only goes down because of some sort of cheap shot tactic or the reveal of the big bad from the end. And Kylo loses
Starting point is 00:17:06 an arm. Just to stay with canon. Kylo definitely needs to get hurt. Kylo gets his arm cut off too. That's how we do things in Star Wars. I would throw an arm loss in there. Or a leg. Let's mix it up. Kylo loses both legs or something. That's some creative work right there, Kyle. Yes, thank you. I mix things up big time.
Starting point is 00:17:22 You were the guy in the writing room where it's like, how about this time we do a leg? Or get the fuck out. Throw him out the window. Or maybe Luke Force chokes him. Because the Jedi never do that. That's a dark movie. He just puts a Force choke on him.
Starting point is 00:17:38 I mean, look at how they changed Luke's character. Where they had this flashback where Luke is like... I saw a meme that said this so i'll just mention that they're like they showed like back in episode like three or whatever when he shows up to the death star all in black and like the emperor and dark vader and he you're there and and and he's like you know kill me i'll never join the dark side you know and and what what he said more importantly was
Starting point is 00:18:05 um you know i believe my father can be turned back to the good no matter what evils he's done and keep my dark fader jay huge evils he wiped out the jedi temple killed all the younglings he killed so many of the actual ruling jedi but luke skywalker luke skywalker is saying i believe he can come back to the light i believe in in that. And then they contrast that with Luke standing over Kylo Ren going, he had a bad dream! Like, that didn't strike him down, because that's part of the storyline, Taylor. Like, Luke was training Kylo, and Kylo was having a bad dream
Starting point is 00:18:38 with some dark thoughts, and Luke sensed darkness in him. And his immediate reaction was, vroom! And, like, gonna strike him down in his fucking sleep gonna offline raid Kylo Ren dream basically he sensed darkness in what he sensed was that this guy was gonna be a Sith and he's right but yeah well we'll never know he was certainly was what his master tries to slash him in his sleep you know any sense that he was the kind of guy who would hold a grudge well he was right about that so so yeah star wars is garbage it continues to be garbage it'll always be garbage until george lucas is long dead and and perhaps somebody like darker takes the helm
Starting point is 00:19:13 um i i just don't get it i i just don't get it it it's it's so upsetting it's it's never it never makes me happy not even let the guy who did Batman do it. Here's the thing. Christopher Nolan. So Kyle says Star Wars is garbage. And I think that why he's so upset with it is not that the films are terrible. I think the films are, like, good. Oh, they're good. It's just that the source material is great. And the movies fall short of that.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Like, the canon. To me, it's Hobbit. It's garbage. Like, The Hobbit is garbage. Like, if you just take The Hobbit and make it its own thing, call it a good movie it'd be good then then then you're like holy shit these smurfs are funny and look at them hopping on each other's heads in the river oh man i'm glad these are long as fuck you know it's fine but when you say oh no actually this is uh the prequel to the lord of the rings oh well they must have got like a whole new director, huh?
Starting point is 00:20:05 No, no, no. This is also Peter Jackson's work. They just made him do it on a post on a post pad in like 15 minutes one night. Oh, yeah. I think Jesus Christ. Well, they still use the way to workshop. Right. And all the all the live action stuff.
Starting point is 00:20:19 Oh, no. Those people. It's all CGI. You can see orcs glitching into one another. The other movie I think of like this is The Last Airbender. So I'm not... I'm really up to speed on the first season. Then after that, I didn't get as into it.
Starting point is 00:20:34 But The Last Airbender has some amazing source material that could be a nearly Lord of the Rings type movie. But instead, they made a movie that was just like, I thought it was good. And people are upset about that gap. Go on. One Punch Man season two is pretty shit.
Starting point is 00:20:53 Oh no. Not only is the animation not as good. And when I heard the animation wouldn't be as good, I'm like, no big deal. It's not like this was a work of art. Not only does the style feel different and and lesser but every image feels zoomed in like like a character like reads a video game that he's holding in his hand and i'm just like oh i'm trying to back up in real life
Starting point is 00:21:16 and it's so zoomed in for me have you watched one punch man lately yeah oh okay so i watched i tried i thought colin might like it so i got the the one punch man with the english words as opposed to captions and i'm like colin's watch this together and i never realized how like abusive that watching experience is the characters mumble and then scream things like tip tap and then slam and the animation like oh my gosh good luck if you're epileptic at all is that the word with the seizures yeah yeah like it's just like flashing zoom zorp bang at you it gets crazy uh i like it i like it i like it too but on rewatching i didn't think it was as good as I remembered it.
Starting point is 00:22:06 If you look at the webcomic, they really capture what's going on in those pages. Sometimes frame for frame. And they've continued that into season two. There's a shot with a gigantic bird monster crashing into a building and Saitama just grabs it or whatever. Is it based off a webcomic?
Starting point is 00:22:24 I always get the the words wrong like manga versus uh whatever the fuck but anime and you know whatever the whatever the literature is called uh but anyway it's it's both a comic book essentially and a web comic i think it may have began as a web comic but that's irrelevant in this conversation because not only is the animation worse like everything just looks a little bit different and not quite as good and like action scenes don't look as good it seems like the frame rate has been cut down by like 50 even you know it looks bad to me but i felt like that's sort of lost its humor uh it didn't feel fun to me it didn't feel funny that's what i'm curious about so if people
Starting point is 00:23:06 don't know one punch man is kind of mocking overpowered superheroes so this is a guy who can beat any monster with one punch and not just monsters like satellites come at the earth so he just jumps and punches it not satellites um uh what is a giant comet called? Maybe just a comet. Asteroid? Asteroid is what I'm going for. Thank you. An asteroid is coming and it's going to end Earth. So he punches it and now it's okay. They've calculated the force created by a couple of his punches.
Starting point is 00:23:41 No, that's incalculable. It's absolutely calculable stop doing that kyle i've been pronouncing it right and and well it's it's it's verging on nuclear powered punches okay it's absurd it's oh jesus you're doing it he's such an asshole such an asshole so um yeah the the uh his punch, they're sort of mocking the idea that these superheroes are so overpowered that they can do anything and nothing prevents a challenge to them. And they made a pretty compelling 10 episodes on the idea that this guy is literally bored by all the bad guys. He hopes that something will come along that catches his interest and nothing really can yeah um and i'm like how many episodes can you make that joke 10 20 30 you can
Starting point is 00:24:34 keep it going because not even 20 well to me they focus on a lot of the lesser characters right they on um his his his apprentice you know the the android who's uh he's always getting in fights and he's not quite as powerful as Saitama by a long shot. And there's all the ancillary characters and the lesser heroes, and they're doing a lot of the fighting. And Saitama is kind of the guy who comes in at the last minute, and he's like, all right, let me handle this business. And part of the season, too, is that, hey, the world-ending threat is on the way.
Starting point is 00:25:04 We have six months left before Doomsday. It's been predicted by a seer and it's on the way. And so that's kind of the story in season two. I've seen two episodes. It's fine. It's just, I'm not laughing as much. I'm still going to watch because I like the story. I like Saitama. He seems more serious in this season and a little meaner. And a little more wise this time around than he did in season one. But I didn't get the humor anymore.
Starting point is 00:25:34 Not that I didn't get it. I just didn't. I don't think it was there. So not as good as the first season so far. There's two episodes. That sucks. Are we saving Game of Thrones talk for PKA? Yeah, we should save it. Definitely. Because this episode was better.
Starting point is 00:25:48 Yeah, I loved it. But yeah, it's on Hulu. I won't say anything. Dude, I can't stop myself. Do you think she was a little CGI'd, hotted up in that scene? It's hard to say. I don't think she was hotted up, though.
Starting point is 00:26:06 It's hard to say. It was a dark enough room they could have fiddled around with it without making it apparent. I've seen, look, I did a lot of research after that scene. And I have seen every semi-nude and nude photo of Maisie that exists.
Starting point is 00:26:22 That is representative of her hotness. It really is. It's weird. And her body type. I hate to call her a butterface, but if you would look at her from the neck up... That's being kind. Butterface is traditionally someone who's like, everything is great. Butterface. Maisie is just
Starting point is 00:26:38 like an average looking girl with kind of a tight little body. That's to me what a butterface is. If you were to look at her from the neck up, you would expect a fat chick under there. You don't see the same way? Not at all.
Starting point is 00:26:53 I would expect an ugly chick under there. From the neck up, you'd expect an ugly chick? Yeah, she's not attractive. She's ugly-faced. Her face, unappealing. If you were to look at her from the neck up and guess what her body is, you'd expect an ugly chick. You're already seeing whether she's not attractive. She's ugly-faced. Her face, unappealing. If you were to look at her from the neck up and guess what her body is, you'd expect an ugly chick. You're already seeing whether she's ugly or not.
Starting point is 00:27:10 I would expect the body to be equally ugly. Just scarred or something. All burnt up. A total dog. Remember in the books, it was like, oh, my older sister is so hot, and I'm just a horse. So is Hermione. But the makers of Harry Potter thought better of that one.
Starting point is 00:27:27 We're going to do eight of these, right, guys? Yeah, do we really want... Do we want to be looking at an ugly bitch? Find me a hot child. Find me a hot as fuck nine-year-old with good genes. Find me one who's older sister you want to fuck and cast her, and that's what they did. But yeah, I don't think they necessarily prettied her up.
Starting point is 00:27:44 I think one of two things are happened there either a they just gave her She was wearing like a chest wrap and they CGI to titty on there or be That was just all her but that's about the size her boobs are and that's how her body looks and I've seen maybe four or five Images to suggest that one of them is as the actor that plays Sansa dumping a bucket of water on her from behind I saw an Instagram photo from her friend's Instagram where they're in Japan and they're all topless looking away from the camera but in thongs and they're like posing and her back's very muscular and her butt's very well formed and then I saw one of those photos that people have x-rayed, you know, where they apply that filter.
Starting point is 00:28:29 And she's wearing like a tight, like sports bra type thing. And you can basically see her boobs and her nipples. And so that gives me all the data that I need to say for sure that like they didn't make her boobs bigger. They're not necessarily, they might be fake, but it's not that they gave her like bigger or better boobs. She just maybe didn't want to show her boobs I also saw her interview and Gentry's interview the actors interview where they discussed the scene and And how she came to know that she was gonna be topless and how she talked to the creators about How much if we're gonna show how much and they're like how much do you want to show and you know?
Starting point is 00:29:01 There was sort of a negotiation about how much she wanted to show. It could have been some CGI going on there. I wonder how those negotiations go down. They're like, alright, we're going to jump in really hot. So we're thinking full puss. It wasn't a negotiation. They asked her, she thought about it and she got exactly what she wanted.
Starting point is 00:29:21 It wasn't like they were asking for beef and she was asking for nothing. They may have asked for beef. That's not what the interview says. But I thought that... I saw it clearly in the interview. We asked for a lot of beef. We used the Trump technique.
Starting point is 00:29:35 We started high when we wanted to go right in the middle, and we ended up with a little side neck. It's hard to... She looked like she had a tight ass. We asked for a back burger. And what I don't expect from her, and you see it in all of her scenes, she's not dressed up hot.
Starting point is 00:29:49 She's kind of like, she has no waist. She's a little frumpy, a little straight. She passes for a boy early in the show. But when she pulls her pants down to show her butt cleavage, and you see that female curve to her, it's just way better than she was in my mind's eye. No, that's what her butt cleavage and you see that you know female curve to her it's just way better than she was in my mind's eye no that's what her butt looks like um um you know if if you keep
Starting point is 00:30:11 doing a lot of research on maizey you know like nude-ish photos like i and i have i like how you had like top of mind five different sources to bolster your point like yeah i knew this was gonna be i knew this was gonna be a topic and i knew that uh and i and i was curious you know i had a lot of thoughts on the matter and and so i found all of the the like not safe for work pictures of maizey that exist i've seen them all i've seen the one where she's sitting topless wearing the thong under a like a waterfall cave scenario and she's like looking over her shoulder kind of like yeah i'm i'm barely legal you know she's giving you that look we've all seen that one before you know at the daycare
Starting point is 00:30:49 or whatever and and uh so yeah i've seen them all i think that was her uh it was almost certainly her there may have been a little polishing here and there or something like that well there's always some polishing it's all and it's it's and it's very possible that like maybe she just wore like uh like flesh covered-covered nipple covers, like pasties or something, and then they just CGI'd the nip on or something like that. You never know. But that's her body.
Starting point is 00:31:12 I did see that theory on Twitter. Yeah, you don't know. Someone was very adamant. And that's what's great about social media is people getting in at each other's throats arguments and fights over like she is not wearing pasties you can see right here in this still of her tit that's real
Starting point is 00:31:32 are you retarded dude have you ever seen tits obviously a paste by the end it's like I know where you live I know where you work that was a CGI body double as proven by the fact that Ghost was just a dog.
Starting point is 00:31:47 That's where the budget went. Let's limit our Game of Thrones talk to only the validity of that nude picture because we don't want to get us off into the real world. We'll definitely cover that heavily on the show. It'll be fun. Star Wars Garbage Season 2
Starting point is 00:32:03 One Punch Man looking kind of poorly and Maisie has a nice tight little body um but but yeah star wars garbage uh season two uh looking of uh one punch man looking looking kind of poorly and uh maizey has uh has a nice tight little body um she does she could pass around her age you know what good for her am i alone in saying that she's like yes you are oh yes no shut the fuck up ugly is not why you're about to say what was i about to say i thought you were going to say that she's surprisingly attractive. No. I was going to say that she's got a chubby face
Starting point is 00:32:31 which would imply a chubbier body. And from the neck down, actually, she's good. It's just she has a face that you'd expect on a heavier person. And she's got those eyes that look in different directions. Very kind of like Hidd the Sloth. Yes.
Starting point is 00:32:47 From Ice Age. She looks like there's something wrong with her. Well, not quite that far. Like three more centimeters and you'd be like, what the fuck's happening? One more centimeter and she's bagging groceries. Three centimeters is a lot. Okay, you're right about that now that I'm thinking about it.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Anybody's eye gets moved 3 centimeters You're going to look like a fucking loon Whose eyes are too close There's actors there their eyes are too close Ron Perlman Okay let's look him up You know how like Moe and Curly Where he's like
Starting point is 00:33:18 Poke him with two With Ron Perlman you could do one And get both eyes Oh you're onto something here. Because that's the one thing I think of every time I see his face, is how the fuck is this guy getting work with the eyes that close together? How does he have
Starting point is 00:33:33 three-dimensional vision? We went the same place. Celebrities. But I would argue that even Ron Perlman, if you separated his eyes by three centimeters, it'd be overdoing it. Celebrities whose eyes are too close together. There's a whole Pinterest page on this.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Three centimeters is about an inch and a half. Oh, yeah. Well, then that's ludicrous. That would look horrible. He's a big guy. I need his head in my hands then i'd know you need to feel it i'll get on it what's that movie where the blind kid like takes oh is that is that in hook uh we're like these they're not blind but when he comes back after aging they're like it is him like when they you know i'm talking about oh that might be hook yeah
Starting point is 00:34:25 i was thinking you're gonna say dumb and dumber uh the scene where they give the blind kid the dead parakeet that made me laugh as a kid pretty bird i just thought he was quiet get a dead bird that's so funny it's fucking great it was a shame that Dumb and Dumber was so aggressively bad. Yeah. Because I had nothing but fond memories from when I was a young kid watching Dumb and Dumber. And I'm sure if I rewatched Dumb and Dumber, I'd think it was dumb. No, go back. Dumb and Dumber still holds up.
Starting point is 00:34:57 It's still funny as fuck. And there's some crass, crazy humor in there. But there's also some really smart jokes and gags in there with the rape and the gas station and everything and Lloyd's conversation with that hot FBI chick when he's pumping gas and he's spilling gasoline all over himself. She's asking him about... He's like, those are your skis?
Starting point is 00:35:18 She's like, yeah. He's like, both of them? You're so stupid, it's great. But Dumb and Dumber was a real letdown. It was a real letdown. And I love Dumb and Dumber. Have you seen... Oh, Lord, I just forgot.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Super Troopers. Have you seen Super Troopers 2? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What did you think? I was drinking heavily at the time. So I vaguely remember it, yeah. What did you think? I was drinking heavily at the time. So I vaguely remember it, frankly. I think there was some laughing involved.
Starting point is 00:35:52 I remember laughing some. It was funny, but it was one of those things where it's like, this is independently funny, but if you compare it to the original, it kind of sucks. Yeah. But that's how so many of those movies are. A couple of those guys are a couple of those guys are making a new show where they're firefighters it's a new tv show um and it's got
Starting point is 00:36:10 two or three of the of the like broken wizard squad and they're they're essentially firefighters pulling hijinks on each other um kind of in the same vein as super troopers but it's a tv show this time that could be funny i'll give that a go. Yeah, it looked pretty good. It looked okay. I'll watch. Is it like a Netflix show or a real TV show? It's a real TV show. I don't remember the network. They're called the Broken Lizards? Yeah, like Broken Lizard Squad or something like that.
Starting point is 00:36:36 That's like the comedy group. They've done a few projects aside from Super Troopers. None is as well received or as popular. Did you guys watch Jack Ryan? The TV show, Amazon? Liked amazon liked it a lot yeah john corzine's a big fan i watch all his shit yeah uh i for me six out of ten i'm a little frustrated that uh jack ryan the main character is. Every decision he makes is the most honorable, moral one you could possibly make. Every scene that he's in, he is the hero of that scene. The guy is not complex enough.
Starting point is 00:37:16 He's like Superman without any powers. Just perfect morality. And you live in a murky world, right? You live in a murky world where you live in a murky world where you hire bad guys to help you to stop the other bad guys from doing bad things but not jack ryan no that fuck's got to be against all the bad guys because he can't stand to have any bad happen anywhere and you know also he's like an analyst that does paperwork and Excel spreadsheets. But, of course, he's a Marine who runs around with this pistol saving girls from catastrophes and shit. And it's like a children's version of an interesting show.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Who wrote those? The Jack Ryan character. They did a ton of books. Really famous guy. Tom Clancy. Tom Clancy. That's kind of how all of his all those guys were kind of like that. You know?
Starting point is 00:38:12 I'm trying to think of the one that goes Harrison Ford play one. He played a bunch of them. That's one of those series of movies that if you just catch them randomly, you don't realize that these are all kind of connected in the same universe. But it's almost like a poor man's james bond um where he's he's the same guy in all those movies yeah i your criticisms are probably somewhat valid um i
Starting point is 00:38:35 liked it though i thought it was pretty good budget we got some titty in there i appreciated the titty i was surprised to see i was like oh right because like 99.9 of that show could have been on like abc in prime time and then all of a sudden there's a titty and you're like huh what do you know that's a titty it's a good titty not just side boob either we got to see it and uh and so yeah i enjoyed the show i'm looking forward to season two whenever that happens um yeah i like john krasinski although um i do too yeah everybody likes that guy i don't know him but like somehow i root for him like second only to chris pratt somehow like he just was gonna bring up chris pratt yeah everybody likes that guy and he's like the like well not everybody now that we all know
Starting point is 00:39:19 he's part of that homophobic church oh is he oh well no but like i saw something with that and i don't follow this stuff but i saw he said something like totally benign about being a christian or something and people came after him and like all like his only responses ever are just like so nice and kind that by the end of it anybody coming after him is like hey let him leave leave andy alone leave parks and rec andy alone let him believe in God stop it stop bullying Jurassic Park guys it turns out he's a hunter too and there were some people who took offense to that
Starting point is 00:39:52 you know got upset that he was a hunter yeah and I saw the hunter interview and it like you know he's like when you wake up in nature you're part of nature like you didn't come here and see it. You woke in it.
Starting point is 00:40:08 And the sun rises and the animals awake and you do too. And you're part of this scene. And then he describes hunting and it ends with like, you know, when you shoot the deer. And it's like, I'm not heartless. Like, something feels for me for the fact that an animal is now dead because of me. But we're going to do this and this and the other thing, you know, eat it, skin it, and I don't know, whatever you do with them, put them on your wall.
Starting point is 00:40:31 And it seemed pretty like sincere, peaceful, a hunter to me, right? Animals eat animals. I know that we have like sentience that the others don't, but still animals eat animals back the fuck off and people didn't but like it was similar in that they got mad and then when you hear it yourself you're like you got mad at that yeah you know it's really you who are out of place here this guy's sweet yeah I hate when people rip on hunters who are actually just like they're eating everything they're using like they're eating everything
Starting point is 00:41:05 they're using it they're not like oh man i'm gonna go blow a rhino's head off for fun like it's it's a chasm of difference and you just know those cunts are sitting at home in their leather chair putting on cosmetics made from ground up fucking cow bones to get the gelatin it's like you you're you're you're a bitch. He's just going out and experiencing the real killing of the animal, something that you think is so ruthless, but you're playing into that industry and those industries every day. I just think we should be able to kill them because they're not as smart as us and we know how.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Well, I don't think we should kill people who are against hunting. No, I mean the animals. And I don't like when they kill rhinos, but only because there's not many of them left. If there were rhinos running around in the neighborhood and you were constantly, fuck, I hit another rhino on the way into work. If that was the rhino situation,
Starting point is 00:41:54 we'd have to do something about it. You can't have a rhino crossing thing on a windy wood road. I wish animals fought each other more often. Oh, here we are back to this tentpole time. But rhinos versus hippos? Please get me some footage. I want to know. That would be cool, but hippos are so much
Starting point is 00:42:14 meaner. I've heard that. Yeah, hippos scared the death out of... Scared to death. Steve Irwin. He was very concerned about being in the water with hippos. He's like, if these were crocodiles, I'd be comfortable here. But these are hippos, and I've got problems.
Starting point is 00:42:30 And I thought, hippos? Aren't they cuddly? Aren't hippos sweet? I played Hungry Hungry Hippo as a kid, and I know a thing or two about this. Think about what's being suggested by that game, though. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Those little beads could be baby heads.
Starting point is 00:42:45 I want to say the hippo kills more people in Africa than the other animal. I have an elephant in my head. You could be right though. I'm not very certain. It's a hippo and it's because they're insanely territorial. You accidentally take a tentative
Starting point is 00:43:01 and they're fast. In the water, they don't even swim. They sink themselves to the bottom and they're fast like in the water they don't even swim they sink themselves to the bottom and they just run run i saw one out i saw one seemingly out running a speedboat they're like and you just see it looks like a torpedo just under the water surface coming at them and you're like the fuck did someone just launch a torpedo? And they're like, which I guess means fucking go. I looked it up real quick. Hippo is the most dangerous, large animal mosquito.
Starting point is 00:43:35 Most dangerous period. Thank you. Everybody, everybody loses to mosquito. Yeah. Somehow when you have malaria on your side as a power-up, I think you're going to win. Do you watch Tier Zoo?
Starting point is 00:43:49 Tier Zoo, I haven't heard of that. What? You would love Tier Zoo Taylor? This is like you don't know Game of Thrones. Tier Zoo is a... Am I saying it right? I'm saying it right, right? Oh, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:44:00 I just Googled it. I think it's pronounced Tier-a-ma-sue, and it's delicious. Oh, I found the channel. Yeah. I have it right. Tirzu, yeah. And basically, they talk about which builds are the best to play.
Starting point is 00:44:15 It refers to all these animals in video game terms, which is what Taylor just did, and it made it pop into my head. When you have malaria as a power-up, they'll be like, the sword for spec'd a lot of evolution points into a pointy face, and it was really a waste of time. But to hear this language, you'll recognize so much of it, and they'll show a lot of animal fights, a lot of animal fights, like geese against bulls and shit like that.
Starting point is 00:44:41 And it's like 1.1.1.100. And they'll just like, this is a tank build. This is a... I don't know what the opposite of a tank build is, but... This is so fun. I'm going to watch this.
Starting point is 00:44:52 Top three underrated animals. I don't know what that could possibly be about. Like what criteria they're using for it, but I want to know now. And his... So sometimes... I'll see a channel,
Starting point is 00:45:04 and I think we all do this as youtubers daydream that like we could have done this or like you know like we all did hydraulic press channel the whole planet is like why did i think of that that's so easy and there are millions of views per video i couldn't do what this guy does he just like he understands the, I don't even know, the hierarchy of animals. What class of animal is a hyena? It's not canine. It's some other thing. And he knows I'm like the back of his hand, and it's amazing,
Starting point is 00:45:36 and he makes amazing videos. If he comes into my notifications, I click it. I like Sam, the cooking guy. I enjoy his cooking videos. I've been watching a lot of that. Today I made my own spaghetti sauce from scratch. I got these San Marzano Italian whole
Starting point is 00:45:54 peeled tomatoes. It's 7pm now. Potatoes in spaghetti sauce? Tomatoes. I think I started with potatoes and changed it. They're I think I started with potatoes and changed it. But they're delicious. And I started my sauce at like 1 p.m.
Starting point is 00:46:09 So it's been going for six hours now. It's just incredible. It's so fucking tasty in there. I already ate some, but it's just still simmering. It's still getting better and better as time goes on. I never made my own sauce from scratch. I always get it from a jar. I thought it was going to be too hard, But it's really fucking easy to make spaghetti sauce
Starting point is 00:46:28 My wife makes it I'm talking out of turn I don't really know I think it's as hard as you make it There are spaghetti sauces that are probably incredibly complex Yeah some of them are If you're making a meat sauce Sometimes people will roast
Starting point is 00:46:43 Three different kinds of meat and then they'll simmer that in the sauce all day. I made Italian meatballs with red pepper and I seared those and then I threw them in after the sauce had already been going for three hours and I cooked
Starting point is 00:47:00 those in the sauce. Otherwise, it's just garlic and onions and tomato paste. Just for spaghetti? Or are you making a different kind of pasta? Just for spaghetti. I like spaghetti. It's my favorite pasta.
Starting point is 00:47:12 I've had the others. Spaghetti holds up. I like Mastachiole the most. I'm not familiar with Mastachiole. What does it look like? It's like the tube, like the shorter tube, but like the two angles on the end. If you hold it to the side, it looks like what trapezoid or something oh okay okay and like because you mix all that up with your meat sauce
Starting point is 00:47:29 and everything and then that little middle area always gets filled with meat and sauce and so rigatoni i like it pretty much every kind of pasta pasta's great love pasta yeah and i did stuffed mushrooms oh that sounds good yeah I had a good lunch today. That's all I had today. It was fucking amazing. Making me hungry. I had pho today for lunch. Do you guys know what pho is? It's Vietnamese fish soup.
Starting point is 00:47:55 Yes, but not fish. Unless there's fish in the broth that I don't notice or something. Mine was rare beef. That's what's in mine. That sounds good. I am always so full i drink the the broth that it comes in so the amount of food you get is fine like there's some noodles in there and a lot of beef and then i find the broth irresistible and these bowls are big. You could put a human head in one of these bowls. And I leave. I'm just so full of salt water.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Yeah. You're just like bloating. Oh, yes. Yes. I walked in and my shorts fit fine. I walk out and I'm like, man, I got to cut back. And it's just salt water. My whole belly is filled with it.
Starting point is 00:48:46 That's so good though like miso soup or like mushroom soup or like mushroom and vegetable soup every time you go to a japanese place and they give that to you and it's just by the you eat all the mushrooms and all the tofu and all like the stuff out of there and that is just salt water but i want to keep drinking so you're only going to be fat for like a day or two. And then the salt will wash through and your water retention will go back to normal. You don't like those soups? I like the hot and sour. No, I don't like any of those soups. I get a hot and sour soup.
Starting point is 00:49:12 That's the only soup I like. Hot and sour soup is all right. It's my favorite. It's salty to the tangy. It's sour. I want to be like you'd like this one. It sounds exotic because it's Vietnamese, but but it yeah it it's just like chicken broth anywhere else i don't like chicken broth though either oh what yeah that's weird what's
Starting point is 00:49:32 there to dislike that's like not liking water but uh if you don't like chicken broth you won't like pho yeah he doesn't drink water either so that's i don't drink water uh hot and sour soup my favorite soup i've made it from scratch i ordered like the fucking black fungus or whatever the fuck off the internet all the uh all the stuff that goes in it yeah it's really good we went to uh my girlfriend and i went to a hibachi place the other night and the guy who came out and like was taking orders and everything was a white guy with blonde hair and it immediately put me in a sourer mood situation. But then after I ordered
Starting point is 00:50:10 from that guy, the real real Asian chef guy came out and in my heart I was like, oh thank god. Why did he have to be Asian? Because if I got some fucking Nordic looking guy doing the hibachi thing it's taken away from the experience.
Starting point is 00:50:28 I want to feel like it's a real Japanese chef doing it. Hello, my name is Julio. Hey, catch the shrimp. That would work for me. To me, they're just circus performers. And it's really not about, oh, this is what Japan is. They're just circus performers. I like to pretend. No, I need a Jap. All right? about like, oh, this is what Japan is. They're just circus performers. They're not even people.
Starting point is 00:50:46 No, I need a Jap. All right? I want him to come out. Any flavor of Asian. Just let me get myself into it. I disagree. There was a Filipino at this place one time, and I was like... Ah, the Mexicans of Asia. Any flavor of Asian would include
Starting point is 00:51:02 Indians and Russians. So I don't think you mean what you say. He's Eurasian. Russians are Asian. They're Asian. He's from the steppes. Get him out of here. No, I want an actual Jap up there.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Mongolian steppes. I need him in there with some talent. I need him clinging that spatula and that, that pokey thing around in the night. Oh yeah. Making the onion volcano. I'm less impressed with the onion volcano cause I can do it.
Starting point is 00:51:35 Then I am when, when they take the egg on the spatula and throw it really high and then catch it over and over. And it's like, and on the last one, they flip the spatula sideways and it's like down down down down and on the last one they flip the spatula sideways and it cracks on it sometimes you get the kind of guy that'll bounce it with a spin on it and then he'll toss the spinning head into his top hat yes and then he'll take it out of his top hat and crack it again i love that it like the more elaborate the the better tip this gentleman's gonna get if he i've seen some lazy ones, right? They come out and it's like... I was into hibachi for a while
Starting point is 00:52:08 and everywhere we went, it was like, hibachi, let's go. Let's see this shit. At first, I was just like, I wanted to catch the food in my mouth. I wanted to get on board. By the end, I'm that guy sitting there cross-armed like, that's not even a tier 3 maneuver. When he offers
Starting point is 00:52:24 to throw the shrimp at me i just like no i don't trust your accuracy sir nothing you've done has demonstrated reliability with i don't like it when they have the sake in the little ketchup squirter thing and they want to feed you a shot through a stream from eight feet away you're not familiar with this move yeah yeah i've had them do that no i haven't seen that it. It's not even sake. What is it? It's just like grain alcohol or vodka. Because that's the stuff they're spraying to get that fire to start. Because I remember, I think I was like 16 or something at one of these things for a friend's birthday party.
Starting point is 00:52:56 And the guy's like, alcohol. And I was like, what is that? I should have known. And he's like, alcohol. I'm like, no, it's not. And he's like, open gave me like a full shot and a half yeah and I was just like 16 like yeah it's out yeah you know how old I am maybe you don't know the you know the fact that you don't know the laws here about that makes me trust your hibachi you probably just arrived yeah
Starting point is 00:53:25 they they and they hold it and they hold and i've never done it because i'm not a drinker and like i don't i'm i don't know i could cough all over everything or something like and then a fire breaks out oh my god yeah right i could be a dragon in a movie when he coughs and blows fire onto the hibachi fish. That'd be so funny. So I don't want this to happen. I've never caught it. But I've seen it done.
Starting point is 00:53:53 And I'm like, this is going on uncomfortably long. They are slowly pouring a shot into that fella's mouth over the course of a minute and a half. And you just know that guy's like, come on, man, please. And if you back away like it's a stream and it's traveling right it must take five seconds to get there i don't know but some time some amount of time and uh yeah it's like eight feet yeah it can't be five how long you spray nasty alcohol in your customer mouth i make it for 40 seconds it is so easy to do all the white folk they don't want to see maresi i like when they do the uh the sake bombs and they have that big long plank i hate sake and they they like they like they like do that crazy they're like there's just i want to say
Starting point is 00:54:42 there's a song that goes along with it but at at the end, they hit the board really hard, and all the sake bombs fall over into the thing, and then everybody drinks them at the same time. I don't love sake. But if I'm going to drink sake, it's going to be warm. I could eat Japanese food, I think, every day for the rest of my life. It's so, so good. I get tired of Mexican food.
Starting point is 00:55:03 I get tired of burgersican food i get tired of like burgers and and pizza and things i i could eat japanese like hibachi or sushi or whatever every day for the rest of my life tier one in food the japanese i'm with thai alcohol last place in the whole world because sake is nasty it's so gross the first time i ordered it he's like uh hot or cold and i was like well i didn't and i didn't see this question coming i hate that i guess like i said hot because i thought oh this is how they must do it that's the traditional way it's like nasty tea it's terrible and the aftertaste like it's i love rice but it's made of right it fucking sucks sake is bottom tier alcohol
Starting point is 00:55:45 dinner questions are a source of anxiety now i'm not crippled in my chair rocking back and forth or anything but by and look it's like all right i'd like a filet medium rare and they look at me and i'm like are there further questions do i need to make do i need to talk about size don't be an asshole. It's like, are there sides coming? What do we need to know? Sometimes there's seven questions and sometimes there's zero. And you never know
Starting point is 00:56:14 what's coming. Then you have to do the side shuffle where it's like, and your side. Oh, fries? Always default to fries because you know they have that. If it's steak, baked potato. You have a baked potato? No.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Really? No baked potatoes at a place that serves steak? All right. I usually get their vegetable du jour if I get a steak. As long as it's green beans or asparagus or something. I feel like especially asparagus goes fantastic with steak. No. No, it does.
Starting point is 00:56:44 You're missing out by not eating vegetables man i've had asparagus i've made my own bernet sauce for it i've had it it's how did you make like in the oven bake it or on the oh the asparagus uh pan a pan with like olive oil salt and pepper okay if you have like a like a gas or charcoal grill they're way better on that too asparagus is not my favorite veggie but you know what makes it better for me? When it has the big salts on it. The salts you can see. It's like, all right, if we don't eat all this on the asparagus,
Starting point is 00:57:16 we're going to take care of the ice out front salt. Are you serving me asparagus with no big salt on it? My wife makes it. I want to be able to see the granules. If you can see the salt like it's it really is better than rock salt i know what you mean yeah yeah i think ours might be i think it might say kosher on the thing yeah kosher salt yeah i don't know what that means other than a rabbi must have blessed it no he looked into this like right because i thought
Starting point is 00:57:41 that the kosher hot dogs literally had a rabbi's blessing but it turned out that was like a folk tale or some shit and really it was just prepared in a certain way and there was no rabbi at any juncture of the preparation you thought rabbis like in mass blessed hot dogs like like i thought that each hot dog plant i thought that each hot dog plant had a rabbi on staff you know and he was he was just like, shalom and good evening. Shalom and good evening. And, you know, he'd fucking, you know, whatever they do, you know, he'd bris one of the wieners. Now, this is a very expensive spell to cast. Yeah, I thought that, or maybe, you know, what they do is like, they get like Lenny, who's also the hot dog casing machine operator. he'd become a rabbi you know he'd get his online certification
Starting point is 00:58:29 so that while he's pumping the goo into the machine he can just be like you know and blessed it is they walk through and they're looking at like all right well your hot dog factory seems to be just fine. Do any Muslims work here? All right, you're good. That'll be $14,000. It'd be fun to have weird qualifications. There's a little piece of me that kind of wishes I could marry people. Just in case, like many a TV show, an emergency marriage has to be performed,
Starting point is 00:59:06 and I could be like, yeah, I'm an ordained minister from whatever.com. You could do it online, or you could just become the captain. Years ago I did as a joke. Never used it. So not only can ordained ministers do it, I believe that if you're the captain of a vessel. Oh, I'm 117th captain of a vessel. There you go. You can 117th marry someone.
Starting point is 00:59:24 Yeah. Flight Lieutenant Mugambo over there. Become a minister today. Instantly get ordained online for free at the ULC, the Universal Life Church. Wait, what religion am I going to be a priest in? Do something hokey. Well, I mean, but did you know that Conan O'Brien,rien stephen colbert the rock benedict cumberbatch richard pranson lady gagas or ian mckellen and paul mccartney are all ulc ministers i did not
Starting point is 00:59:55 ulc does not sound very prestigious that's what this is claiming right now and i don't know if i believe it that's that's so. Can you prank marry somebody? Where it's like, oh, in this TV show, you guys have to get married. And then you put a real minister up there and do it, and then they're married for real? Yeah, like in the office. Oh, shit. Does that happen in the office? Yeah, in the office. Basically, Dwight was going to host Angela's wedding to Andy Bernard. You're right. I just stole an office bit.
Starting point is 01:00:25 Yeah, yeah. And after it's over, she's like, that was beautiful. And he's like, well, just so you know, he's a real minister. And he said the words, you said I do, I said I do, and you're wearing my ring. So, fuck, fuck, could you just trick marry me? It's time to wrap, but I do want to quickly say
Starting point is 01:00:49 congratulations, Taylor. Your St. Louis Blues won. They're going to the second round. It's the Dallas Stars, and I'm pulling for the Hurricanes. The Hurricanes win tomorrow, and the Sixers win tonight. All right.
Starting point is 01:01:02 Hopefully by PKA time, I'm doing the opposite of what Taylor does. Actually, wait. All right. Yeah, hopefully by PKA time, Caroline will be in the second round. I'm doing the opposite of what Taylor does. Actually, wait. Go Washington. Oh, well, thank you. Go Washington, go Dallas. And Kyle, you probably have the best bracket in the country right now.
Starting point is 01:01:18 Well, you have St. Louis to win the whole thing. And if that happens, you might rival Kyle's first round picks. Maybe, but I'm just getting might rival kyle's first round picks maybe but i'm just getting massacred in this first round like he's been right about if if toronto wins over boston tonight in game seven it's a lot like kyle will have gotten six out of eight of them like out of the first round so shocking yeah proud of you everyone is pkn
Starting point is 01:01:47 244

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