Painkiller Already - PKN #250

Episode Date: June 14, 2019

It's PKN time baby! ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I pressed the button. PKA episode 250. Before we get into it, I'm kind of psyched it's 250. It's a number. It's divisible by a large number, 50 and 250. But I think it's cool that in 125, I guess we could go through the whole list. And five. Well, it's certainly not prime.
Starting point is 00:00:19 I just think it's neat that our sort of side show is longer running than a lot of main shows. That's true. And then you'll see the Joe Rogan experience. It's like, hey, JRE number 3,000. Dude, yeah. Well, he does shows whenever... I don't know if he does it every day or on a schedule or whenever he wants to. It confuses me. But I do know
Starting point is 00:00:40 this. When Alex Jones came on, he quickly did a bunch of them in a hurry so that it would be episode 9-11 because he's like a truther. That's pretty funny. Yeah, it is pretty funny. But it's like not a thing we could do. Yeah, I was just listening to – I listen to him a lot as I'm falling asleep at night because I turn it down nice and low so I can just barely hear it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:01:01 Sometimes I have wackadoo dreams based on whatever they're talking about. So he had this guy on who was this Australian guy who went on these adventures and stuff. So they're talking about wildlife and all kinds of nonsense. And then today Eddie Bravo was talking about fucking aliens and UFOs and shit.
Starting point is 00:01:19 Yeah, it's good stuff. You were excited to bring something up right before the show that I didn't mention. Yeah, so I linked it right here. Essentially, some people linked it to me and we were discussing it. It's this streamer. I guess it's – I don't know his name. We should just watch the clip maybe.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Yeah, it's right there. I'm ready to click play. If you're audio only, we're going to listen to a streamer streamer like a twitch streamer explain the state of his room Ready set are you guys ready? Yep. Ready set play all dude As been cold watching fuck god damn like dude fog you All right, so how did it get to the stage? basically, I moved into this house in like 2004, 2005, and I didn't clean it.
Starting point is 00:02:10 And now it's this bad. Asmongold actually watching. I'm showing him the trash pile, dude. I'm showing him the left side. There we go, boys. It's over there. That's about two meters deep of trash. Two meters of trash.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Wow, gameplay. Six and a half feet of trash. Then what is this guy? Twelve feet tall? You know, like he's exaggerating a bit, but still. Oh, the quick fuck, dude. Whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Dude, can we go back to like the opening seconds? Yeah. Do you see that where there's only like 12 inches of trash? That's the clean part that he shows people live on stream. Like he's got a foot of trash, and it's not clean trash, right? Like clean trash to me would be papers and empty boxes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:51 That is, like out of the printer. That's a great example. Yeah. What he's looking at is food containers. Yeah. This is filth. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Now I was telling people, I was like, my room's a little messy. All right. The office that I'm in right now, like, like, like here, look, there's some Wendy's napkins here. I had a, I had telling people, I was like, my room's a little messy. The office that I'm in right now, like here. Look, there's some Wendy's napkins here. I had some Wendy's chili last night, and I put my napkins right there. And they're sitting there.
Starting point is 00:03:14 And there's a pepper grinder over there. In case I want to spice things up a bit. There's maybe three empty containers of Diet Dr. Pepper lying around. I've got some half-empty corn nuts. There's some computer parts in the corner that are part of a project that I haven't finished in ages. But never would I eat half of a sandwich
Starting point is 00:03:36 and be like, nah, that's a problem for a decade and a half from now. I'll get to this in 14 years. At what point does that become mental illness? for a decade and a half from now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get to this in 14 years. At what point does that become mental illness? That's where I was headed with it. We're there.
Starting point is 00:03:52 We're there. And I'll tell you why. He's definitely there. It becomes mental illness when you realize that his filth has become a source of entertainment for others. It's not just like, hey, man, clean your room. It's like,
Starting point is 00:04:04 show me the other rooms now. You know you want to see the rest of the rooms now that you've seen this, right? We don't think that his kitchen looks like Paula Deen's kitchen or anything, right? We know that it's not some spotless cooking destination and the fridge is just nice and neat with his LaCroix over here
Starting point is 00:04:24 and his fucking fresh veggies in the bottom chilling out. No, we know what that man's refrigerator looks like. There are stains, there's meat juices, there's fast food from a year ago. There's a bottle of fucking barbecue sauce that he didn't,
Starting point is 00:04:36 doesn't even remember buying. I've, I've watched a couple episodes of hoarders and I want to say like in my universe, I've known, uh, like minor league hoarders too and uh usually it stems from this notion that these things have value like that's the core of all of it i don't want to throw away this broth that is expired and the container is swollen
Starting point is 00:05:00 because i may fall on hard times and want that broth i just threw away some broth today and i had this this as i'm throwing i'm like i mean once you open broth and like i've never broth comes in like a specific size and i've never used it to like i made a a pot roast a few weeks ago and i was like holy shit why would i even put it in the fridge once I had used half of it? When have I ever went back to open to block? Never. Never. So they have this idea that their things have value. Old car parts, you know, things like that.
Starting point is 00:05:34 But not a lot. If you've got a carburetor from a 67 Chevelle sitting in your living room, we might have an issue. But, you know, if you've got some chrome bumpers off a 55 Bel Air... Cub caps, you can't identify where they came from. You know, like exhaust
Starting point is 00:05:55 manifolds that just need small repairs. It's not that really good stuff. You know, like alternators. Dude, you could get the replacement from napa for that thing and how come hoarders never have cool shit so there's never a guy who's like oh yeah i've been hoarding ancient coins for 30 years and it's like ancient roman stuff because we call those guys see that's that that's where that's where the line is drawn there i think a
Starting point is 00:06:22 lot of collectors are hoarders to an extent, and they've got a bit of mental illness as well, especially if they're not the kind of guy who just collects coins or just collects stamps. He's like, oh, yeah, this is my troll doll collection, and these are the California raisins, and my beanie babies, I keep those up in the attic because they need to stay at 105 degrees Fahrenheit for preservation purposes.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Kyle's winning me over. When he first said collectors, I thought of people who had lots and lots and lots of baseball cards, an entire closet filled with baseball cards. There could be a million in there. That's not a hoarder. That's a collector. And I bet they're organized. I bet he knows what he has and their approximate value.
Starting point is 00:07:00 But the people that collect like, you know, oh, this is my my voltron toy i hope that it might have value what are those little things called classic toys though that cheap trash that people buy like they they've got like square heads and their little little funko pop that's what they're called it'll be like a picture of han solo but it it's like cheap Chinese crap, and you'll see people with hundreds of these. If you gave me $100 to take all that off your hands, I'd ask you to give me more. So maybe I stumbled upon a classic toy that actually has value. But not every damn strawberry patch kid has value. You got strawberry patch kids?
Starting point is 00:07:42 No, I don't. What are you doing? Get them on the market. Strawberry patch kids. Are those like cabbage patch kids? Strawberry patch kids. They're blowing up. But yeah, some people, you know, they think everything old is a collectible. Here's a good question.
Starting point is 00:07:58 What is something that you had in your childhood or in your past that you threw away because you're a responsible human being, or you just became a man that you're like, shit, I wish I'd held onto that because now those have a bit of value. I have the opposite. A couple of Pokemon cards. For me,
Starting point is 00:08:16 it's the He-Man toys. I was a big He-Man fan when I was like five to eight years old, somewhere in there. And I had the, I watched this documentary about He-Man the other day. And, and they're saying they're showing all the toys off. A whole documentary about He-Man. It's a great documentary.
Starting point is 00:08:32 And, and, and I'm like, holy shit. I had every fucking one of those toys. I had Castle Greyskull. I had She-Ra or whatever. I had Skeletor. I had them all. And, and like, i looked and like holy shit this stuff's worth money this stuff's worth actual money now if i could just
Starting point is 00:08:50 held on to castle grayskull would have been worth money in the condition you had it because that's where i'm coming on the other side i had some good toys toys that might be i don't know if you know tonka trucks tonka trucks were from probably before. Okay. But they were really well built. Great trucks that held up to abuse. Metal. But I sat in them and rode them down hills. My Tonka trucks weren't worth a goddamn thing at the end of my childhood. They're just ruined. So the He-Man toys were action figures and then like a play set that went with them.
Starting point is 00:09:18 Like Castle Grayskull was big. Like this huge honking piece of plastic that like the characters like the front popped open so you could see the interior and you'd have the characters like fight and if he man won there was a facade and if uh skeletor won there was a different facade it was very high effort for a toy back in the day and they were expensive even then and i took pretty good care of my toys the problem was my cousin and his family was more low income than mine. They would get their dirty mitts on my high end rich kid toys and just disrespect the fuck out of them. Right. Like we moved houses when that would have been me. We moved houses when I was five and all of a lot of our stuff had to go into storage while we built our new house.
Starting point is 00:10:03 And there was enough space in the in the interim and so like they went over there and got their dirty mitts on my play-doh my play-doh uh play-doh mansion or whatever the like i had the olfactory where you could squeeze out all the shapes i had dozens of containers of play-doh i get over there and they've all been opened and they're all dried out combined combined who combines play-doh this was hot pink and green and now it's ugly brown they're all ugly brownish gray yeah man had been blown up with fire i'd never thought of it that's something that i hadn't thought about since i was a kid and i saw people mixing play-doh and it like upset me as a child like you you had the green and the yellow and now it's just poop color they never combine into new interesting colors close it up so now it's just
Starting point is 00:10:52 hardened and crystallized on the top and you try and roll it back into itself a little bit of pliability no there's always going to be the hard section i'm on the same team as you guys with the play-doh i wasn't a play-doh ruiner. But if you had had, like, I don't know, G.I. Joe action toys, well, they would have fought. And they would have fought via me smashing them together and deciding, declaring a victor. That's how I played with toys.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Yeah. So anything I had was not a collectible. The commander's going down for good today. Yeah. I got in trouble at a friend's house when I was like... Like a monkey. Like maybe seven years old. And we got into all his dad's like old GI Joes.
Starting point is 00:11:29 And we just, with abandon, we're playing with them. Like, and then like, I took like the fake, the plane and like, it was like GI Joe coming in hot,
Starting point is 00:11:42 you know, like into the battle. You're Kyle's cousin And he got very We were fucking seven we see toys and we want to play Were you in Royston Georgia around 91 No It's funny you mention like
Starting point is 00:11:55 We see toys so we play with it I have a story I was over at my friend's house And there's a shoe box And I don't know what it was about a shoe box On a top shelf of a centrally located closet that was just so. There might be a handgun in there. There's going to be something good in there. There was a gun in there.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Yeah. And so he's like, you don't touch that box. There's a gun in there. And I'm like, what? That's the first box you touch. We have got to get that gun. We need to play. And I'm like, what? That's the first box you touch. We have got to get that gun. We need to play. And I'm not at any, like a 14-year-old might be mildly ready to, you know,
Starting point is 00:12:33 like handle a gun even without training. Like he might understand the dangers of it. I'm probably seven. You know, like I am not at all the guy who should be handling a gun. You know just enough to kill yourself or someone else. Yeah. And I tried to persuade him and he was well trained. He was a kid who listened to his dad and he was like
Starting point is 00:12:48 that is a non-starter idea. We don't touch the gun. Are you kidding me? And I never saw it. There are just three of us. I think I know it to be a revolver for some reason but beyond that. You just pictured it as a kid and that mental image has stuck. Maybe he told me. I don't know. Okay. Who keeps a gun in a shoebox?
Starting point is 00:13:04 A lot of people. A lot of people a lot of people that's that's the place right because like i keep it in my gun safe oh well okay but but you're you have a couple guns probably and you're in a responsible adult you're a man and you've been around other men who have talked about guns and you probably led you you'd let an example were led by an example but like my grandmother she had this little pistol and she kept it up in a shoe box in her closet and she was always like i saw one of those guys walking around in the backyard grandma you can't say that and i'm ready you know i see him again gonna get him through the window and i'm like whoa through the window i was like at least wait he tries to come in and oh no you wait too long you miss your chance that's called that proactive defense that's the argument i was like at least wait he tries to come in and oh no you wait too long you miss your
Starting point is 00:13:45 chance they call that proactive defense that's the argument i see a lot people worry about home invasions and they worry about a very rapid escalation home invasion where the guy busts through the front door runs straight to the master bedroom and starts telling you tying you up with telephone cord or something and i'm like dude does this guy have prior knowledge of the layout of your house often they do unfortunately they're delivery men they're uh uh gas company employees or that or they'll pose as them that's what i have a whole closet full of uniforms you've seen my costume yeah yeah yeah but they're mostly you know priests and squirrels and furries who would not trust a priest coming to their door late at night with a telephone cord? With a telephone cord.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. You started to lose me with the telephone cord. Can I back up on that one? We might need to do some flagellation. But yeah, those fucking toys, I wish I'd kept them. I still think about them from time to time and how much fun I used to have. I know I couldn't have fun with them now.
Starting point is 00:14:48 I would just look at it. But something about that little me that still lives in here still equates those to the best times. Because I used to do that a lot. Get on the floor, on the carpet, set up all the green army men, set up He-Man and She-Ra or whatever, and fucking Skeletons. All the evil guys would be on one side, all the good guys on the floor on the carpet set up all the green army men set up he man and shira or whatever and fucking scale all the evil guys would be on one side all the good guys and the other you know ninja turtles are throwing in fucking everybody you know street sharks they jumped into the mix
Starting point is 00:15:15 they would and we'd have a big fucking free-for-all and and you know they did as they die i'm knocking them over and stuff and like like that was was great for me. Nostalgia. The best times is a neat, like somehow my mind gets stuck on this. People want games. They want to relive those best times a lot. I see COD 4. COD 4, Modern Warfare 2 are the ones I have in my,
Starting point is 00:15:37 Modern Warfare 2 was the best one. No, it wasn't. Modern Warfare 2 wasn't even a good one. It was broken for the first seven months between like the lobbies and this and that. They never did really do anything it wasn't modern warfare 2 wasn't even a good one it was broken for the first seven months between like the lobbies and this and that they never did really do anything about the one man pro one man army scavenger type stuff and and uh that the shotgun was broken for like there were huge game breaking flaws with that game because the studio quit and garbage but what people like
Starting point is 00:16:01 is their life at 16 years old. And they think that Modern Warfare 2 was that. It's like, no, dude, you can't have it back. If they released Modern Warfare 2 today as a new game, it wouldn't go anywhere. It'd just be broken garbage that no one liked. Fucking garbage. Fucking awful, awful garbage.
Starting point is 00:16:22 We've been playing a lot of PUBG while we went on Rust to restart again. We had a... Oh, was Rust down for maintenance or something? No, you got raided, didn't you? No, no. Rust is cyclical. So every week the map completely wipes away and everybody loses everything they had. And so the next week you get a fresh start at it again.
Starting point is 00:16:37 And we picked a bad server. And essentially two weeks ago we picked a bad server that didn't have enough people on it. And we quickly became the kings. And that was no fun. There's only 20 other people in here. You're SimCity-ing over there. We're the boss of 20 people.
Starting point is 00:16:52 And then we were like, let's pick one with more people. And it's hard to estimate what the peak number of people is going to be. So when we started, there were 45 people. That's a good number on a small map. And then it ballooned to like 195 people and that's just impossible. Let me ask you, is it that you guys just aren't,
Starting point is 00:17:12 you can't be king? Or with 195 people, there is no king. It's just chaos, destruction. It's a little, it's a mixture of both. We also like in our rushed sort of trying to find a new server to, like, jump on real quick because it was wipe day, we had to pick one that wasn't a duo server. It was up to a four-man team.
Starting point is 00:17:35 And it's just me and Middy that are really dedicated and play a lot. And then there's, like, three or four other guys who can kind of hop in occasionally for two or three hours at a time, like a normal gaming experience. And so most of the time it's, it's just the two of us getting bullied by four man crews and like, you know, you kill two of them.
Starting point is 00:17:51 These other crews have four Kyle and Middy's. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just, it's just impossible to, I mean, you can, you can do well,
Starting point is 00:17:59 like, like a lot of people will be happy with what we had and what we were doing. We had most of mostly everything, but we couldn't really like, it was always stressful. There was always... You don't want to go outside because they might be up there waiting. It was no fun.
Starting point is 00:18:12 Is that roof camping you're talking about? We were living in a cave this last time. We were literally underground. We were cave people. It's fun, but we've been playing a lot of PUBG, which is, you know, hadn't played in like...
Starting point is 00:18:27 That game has some staying power. It appears that Fortnite is the king, but... It's free, though. $35 versus free. Which one's free? PUBG? PUBG's $35, Fortnite's free. Hmm. So I think considering that, like, PUBG's huge.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Sure, sure. And it appears that Apex Legends is kind of a flash in the pan. They didn't mix things up quickly enough. The gameplay became very repetitive and stale. Just a couple of the weapons became the meta. And parts of the combat are a little wonky. Long-range combat's kind of wonky. And, you you know same map
Starting point is 00:19:05 same perks same everything over and over and over to me pub g doesn't mix up or am i wrong about that they're always adding maps always adding guns uh they do a lot of events they do a lot of um they added you know that they've from from alpha to where we are now like things have changed so much like like you didn't used to be able to mantle or or uh or hurdle objects you had to like there'd be a run around things there'd be a fence at belly button height and you'd just be like all right i guess my commando can't make it i guess i'll just take the long way around or risk being loud and machine gunning this fence down but now it's you know you hurdle stuff you climb through and over stuff and it's is it one of the biggest games still pub g like like it's not the second biggest game it's not
Starting point is 00:19:49 the third but it might be the fourth biggest game on twitch third or fourth something is rust actually really big or is that way below the rest of these um rust does pretty well on youtube on twitch it seems like a big streamer will only have like maybe a few thousand at a time which is a respectable amount of people yeah it sounds like a lot but on will only have like maybe a few thousand at a time which is a respectable amount of people yeah it sounds like a lot but on youtube it seems like they it really flourishes there's a few youtubers with millions of subscribers who do it who get a couple hundred thousand views a video and and upload fairly regularly um it the the issue with rust as and and like garnering and hanging on to a community is you can get really turned off to Rust
Starting point is 00:20:27 quickly. And whereas with PUBG, it's this rinse and repeat thing where like last night, me and my buddy might have played 15 games of PUBG in the course of an hour and a half, two hours. And we won some really handily. We lost some immediately. And then there were some where there was heartbreak and there were some where there's triumph. We got a good mixture of all those feelings in our two-hour session but in rust you might play for an entire week and it's nothing but fucking bullshit over and over i think we're gonna make it i think we're gonna do well it's all taken away so you can really turn people off quickly to a game like rust when they never come back and to add on to what kyle said i've watched a lot of rust videos i've never even played once but uh it really lends itself to a video if you take that
Starting point is 00:21:08 experience he had we're like i think we're gonna make it i think we're gonna make it and they go all the way up and then in the end you get wiped out that's actually pretty compelling storytelling if you can watch that in like an 18 24 minute video i'm enthralled by it but on twitch if i had to watch that like dude he's pounding trees for six hours whereas oh yeah you wouldn't want to watch somebody farm that'd be a super well in the video though they speed it up tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap and then suddenly he has enough wood to build a fort now i know that he didn't show every tree he knocked down yeah but in terms of storytelling you know they did it yeah i like sometimes i like watching the farming if they edit it correctly they'll be like ching ching whack ching ching whack and i'm just like yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:21:56 it's like he's like playing a song with the sound effects um but there are there are these brief moments of just exhilaration and rust um the other morning i I woke up at 6.45 a.m., and I get up, I make some coffee, and I walk into the living room, and I turn on CNN, and I'm watching that, just sort of waking myself up, and I realize that my phone charger is in here, and I leave Rust on. I leave it turned on Specifically in that case because every hour you're alive on the server We were playing on you get one point and you use these points to buy bullshit cosmetic items with so you just leave it on 24-7 just feed my character with actual in-game corn and stuff make sure he's healthy and just accrue points You know so I can buy a pitchfork
Starting point is 00:22:42 You know it's just silly pitchfork that I goof around with or a smoke bomb or something like that. It's nothing like game breaking. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought there was a break. You switched servers, maybe even twice. You talked about it. But you also told me you buy things on servers. So you just
Starting point is 00:22:58 abandon your investment and go to a new server? Pretty much. It's not a huge investment. It's usually $10 or $15. pretty much it's not a huge investment it's usually ten dollars or fifteen dollars oh it's real money well if you want if you want a little like what i like is this it's called a skin box and it allows you to put any skin you want on your guns and armor and stuff and to me i see an advantage in that because it's camouflaged in a lot of cases like it's it's like ah i get camouflaged now i could go on the steam marketplace or on the one of those websites and i could pay actual money for and i could always have that
Starting point is 00:23:30 camouflage but i really like mixing it up every every wipe and having a different set of and there's also a thing where you can you can put picture frames up and you can paint them but it's like microsoft paint in game and like i've never seen anybody who can actually paint it. Or if you've paid for this VIP treatment, the $10, you just type slash S-I-L and then control V and you paste in an imager link. And suddenly, boom!
Starting point is 00:23:58 There's HD Wings of Redemption on the side of our base. Enormous. Like a huge picture frame. And that's free or you have to buy that. No, this is worth paying for, Taylor. That is worth paying for. I wasn't going to dispute that.
Starting point is 00:24:10 I'm not paying $10 for a 10-minute experience. We're going to put 60 hours into this. We're going to be here 60 hours over the course of a week. It's funny you mentioned that you leave servers and stuff. I was a Minecraft server owner. I probably mentioned it before. And sometimes a base would get wiped out and those guys would be demoralized.
Starting point is 00:24:30 They might have an investment. Their clan as a group could have spent hundreds of dollars on things that have since been stolen, which is so, so it's really, there's a motivator to knock down other pieces people didn't engage. And I might give them like, not what they bought, but a third of it.
Starting point is 00:24:47 Yeah, a little leg up. Yeah, like, look. One, like, I wanted them to enjoy their gaming experience, but I also didn't want them to leave as customers. You know, there was a win-win there. A good little service you could have offered? Base insurance.
Starting point is 00:25:03 They're paying in so much every day, but if they get wiped, they get 80% of... they get a known quantity back. Charging Minecraft insurance premiums. Maybe you give Dr. Chiz a little few eggs every day and
Starting point is 00:25:19 maybe nothing bad happens. Who's to say? Let me finish this story though, because this is pretty... To me, it was this huge moment of exhilaration. Like, I walk into the office, still groggy. It's 7 a.m. now, and I'm grabbing my phone charger. And my headset's hanging right here. And I look on the screen, and it says,
Starting point is 00:25:39 raid blocked, 10 minutes. And what that means is my base is being attacked. And for the next 10 minutes, I'm not allowed to teleport away to like a friend or something. Cause this, this map has that feature. And, uh, and I'm like, and also it begins at 10 minutes. I have literally walked in the second a raid has begun on my base. And I'm just like, Oh shit. Oh shit. It's go time. And I'm like, I look at the clock and it's 7 a.m. I'm like, Middy won't be up. It's 6 a.m. Midwest time.
Starting point is 00:26:09 I got it. It's just me. And I'm just fucking suiting up. And it's like that scene in Commando when he lands on the island. I'm fucking putting my knife on and getting my headdress on. It's like the Matrix. Absolutely. Just guns, lots of guns.
Starting point is 00:26:22 And they can't hear what I'm doing because they're blowing in. And I get my grenade launcher, which is the most op thing in the game you you can't build them you can't buy them you have to earn them you got to go out and you got to take over um this big oil platform where enemy players could come and try to oh yeah you mentioned that you've got to kill lots of ai and maybe one trip out of two, you'll get four grenades. Like, like, like hours of work,
Starting point is 00:26:48 you'll get four grenades for this launcher. I got a dozen grenades in this bitch. I'm fucking ready to go. It's like a multi shot grenade launcher. It's got the big revolver thing underneath. And I, I hear, which is the sound of someone throwing a thing and they're throwing C4. My roof is made of armor, but eight C4 goes right through it. And then I hear, which is the sound of someone throwing a thing. And they're throwing C4.
Starting point is 00:27:05 My roof is made of armor, but eight C4 goes right through it. And then I hear, and I'm just like six, seven, eight. All right, they're in. And I'm just opening garage doors one by one, closing them behind me, going around in a circle, looking up, looking for the hole in the roof. And finally I find it. I look and there's a hole in my roof. And there's two guys peering down at me with AK-47s and stuff and I just go, boom!
Starting point is 00:27:28 They're both dead. I climb up there and they've got I won't go into the specifics of how many explosives they have, but let's just say those two guys had labored for 25 man hours each to come up with what they have on their bodies and I'm just like
Starting point is 00:27:43 Can you quickly fix the hole? Oh, so quickly. It's like, clunk, clunk, fixed. And I'm just like, back down into the depths of my base, behind all these armored doors. Could you hear them, the way they were reacting? They immediately left the server.
Starting point is 00:28:00 They immediately left the server. I couldn't even talk shit in chat. They were gone. They were just gone. They gave up right then and there. You think they never came back? They never came back, no. That was it.
Starting point is 00:28:11 That was like three days before wipe. How do you choose your server? Is it popular YouTubers? Not necessarily. What I do, there's a huge server list. The things I care about are ping. I care about the rule set. I don't want a vanilla experience
Starting point is 00:28:30 because it's very grindy and there's no comfort features. When you put your materials into a furnace to smelt them down and turn ore into finished product, there's a specific ratio that makes it burn perfectly so you don't waste
Starting point is 00:28:45 wood. I want the furnace to do that for me. So I don't have to like one by one drag logs into there and or into there. So I want, I want to, it's called a furnace splitter. I want that just in the game. I want, um, instead of vanilla, I want 1.5 gather. So that if I hit a tree, I get 1.5 times the normal amount, not a game-breaking amount, but let's not grind out hitting 100 trees. Let's hit 75 trees instead. That seems more fair. But really, it's about ping and number of players. Those are the two main factors that I start with. Obviously, how many players are on each team is important because if I'm playing as a duo, start with and obviously how many players are on each team is important because if i'm playing as a duo i don't want to play against three four five six man squads the game i'm looking forward
Starting point is 00:29:31 to is the new age of empires age of empires 4 is supposed to come out in the next year and that's going to be a blast you'll get into that too kyle you like those rts oh yeah absolutely i'll and if it's good if the gameplay is fun and if it's fun to beat people and take their things, I'll get very good at it. I'll go into one of my phases. One of your phases? Yeah. We'll go the way we used to on Age of Mythology, where we just molest kids online. That's what we're doing.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Just destroying their bases. Age of Catholicism. Age of Catholicism. Age of Catholicism. Alright, so the goal of the game is you need to find the kids and then give them what they actually want. You can make priests, cardinals,
Starting point is 00:30:17 or popes, and each one can molest more children simultaneously than the other. Cover up! Cover up! Taylor's raiding my base with altar boys what is he thinking they're the most vulnerable but like i remember in like age of empires 2 i think like the the priest or something like that you could convert enemy units and there was like a problem with it where like you couldn't do any damage as the priest character all he would do is stand there with a staff and go and then like the unit would turn to your color and then you could control him and you
Starting point is 00:30:51 just basically steal a unit and they apparently didn't do a lot of beta testing back then because you could do entire games where it's like i'm just doing all priests and so you just have a ton of priests that can't do damage, but a cavalry rush would be coming at you, but they just go, and there's so many of them that you immediately convert their entire army. That was fun. Did you get their
Starting point is 00:31:16 cavalry? Did they become yours? Yeah, they become yours. So instead of producing cavalry, you'd steal them. Yeah, because I remember playing online against, maybe it was even just a land thing, being like, oh, I got this huge army and he's just got priests. So I would just keep trying to send people in.
Starting point is 00:31:29 I'm like, fuck, fuck, I keep getting wall-o-load and turn teams. That's the dumbest idea I've heard since hiding in the crypts from the undead. That's definitely up there. It's so funny how the whole Game of Thrones thing is just gone now. It's not going to be nearly as big of a
Starting point is 00:31:47 cultural event as it could have been because people are so let down by the end of it. Like Chernobyl, I think it ended, right? It's only five episodes? I don't want to spoil anything. I thought that series was fantastic. Absolutely magnifique. Loved it. It was wonderful. It was very good.
Starting point is 00:32:04 I watched an SNl skit last night and it's basically like welcome to the annual evil doers contest where we judge the most diabolical and evil invention of the year and like the whole room full of like stereotypical evil scientists and like one comes up and he's like i've invented the most evil invention of all time my shrink ray i will shrink the world's landmarks and monuments and wear them on a key chain the eiffel tower mount rushmore they'll be mine and the the leader is like ha ha ha wonderfully diabolical and then this lady steps up and she's like i am baroness antarctica and i have created the most evil invention my freeze ray i will cover the world's monuments in the ice
Starting point is 00:32:52 and oh everybody's like yeah yeah that's fucking it all has to do with monuments and then the rock and then the rock walks in and he's wearing like a lab coat and he's got hair and he's like hey guys hey hey uh like he's got this big like old school robot with him he's like uh well uh i i think i did it this year uh i invented a robot to molest children and they're all like what you did what that's uh it's molesto 3000 uh he's able to molest twice the amount of children as a standard child molester it costs pennies to create I think I've done it this year that's horrifying
Starting point is 00:33:30 that's horrifying what you've done he's like I think you people need to look up evil in the dictionary because it seems like you're just freezing landmarks you made a shrink ray I made a child molestation robot and they're like how do you even do that he's like well you just build a regular robot and child molestation robot And they're like how do you even do that He's like well you just build a regular robot
Starting point is 00:33:47 And then you molest it And hope that it carries on the cycle I thought for sure That where you were headed with that Was like you know the shrink ray guy The ice ray guy I slipped in a new script For season 8
Starting point is 00:34:05 and they'd all be like, you're the most evil here! I thought that's the word. Nope. You got the curveball with the molesting robot. Oh, and the Deadwood movie came out. So I know Taylor never watched Deadwood, but I know Woody did and he got to that. Where did it come out? It's on HBO.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Full movie. Two hours. Oh, I have to see that yeah was it i thought it was good i thought it was good not great it was the ending that they should have given us at the whenever the show got canceled it wasn't like this crazy balls to the wall like like 20 guys fighting 20 guys in the town getting blown apart but it was like you got to see all your favorite characters you got to see where they were you got to see like a little bit of redemption art from this guy and a little bit of redemption art from that guy and and lots of stuff happens people died some people prospered some people got their comeuppance and uh it was good there's a scene in deadwood
Starting point is 00:34:59 so the the lead guy who's kind of good kind of bad is with another guy who's kind of good, kind of bad is with another guy who's kind of good, kind of bad, but they don't speak the same language. So Kyle, I'm sure, could do it so much better than me, but he's like, what's his name? Sweedridge or something? Swearinger. Swearinger? Swearinger, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:17 And like motherfucker, or like the two words. Cocksucker. Cocksucker. They're just like with different emphasis emphasis is and they communicate with just swearinger and mother with like three words he woo comes in this chinese launderer he actually does laundry he also has a service where he'll feed your dead body to his pigs to a dispose of them feed him to the pigs woo and and and and you know, Woo will come in. He's like, oh, big cocksucker. Oh, Swearinger, cocksucker.
Starting point is 00:35:49 And Swearinger's like nodding along, nodding along. He's like, all right, Woo, let me understand this. One big cocksucker make problem with Woo. Yeah, yeah, problem with Woo. And you want Swearinger to handle the big cocksucker yeah yeah big cocksucker swearinger all right woo i think i've got it all i've got everything i need it's wonderful it's like there's a seat in the wire and this is not a spoiler taylor but they walk into a room and i think all they say is motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:36:25 Is that the word? Yeah. Fucking motherfucker. Yeah, fucking motherfucker. And they walk in and it's a crime scene and they just communicate in like, fuck, motherfucker. Fuck. And the whole, like you understand every variant of their emphasis. Yeah. As they're discovering this, this evidence and like that's that's clearly like if you're
Starting point is 00:36:45 paying attention close enough it's leading them to believe that oh the original like description of this scene was all wrong like like they're measuring stuff and like finding bullet casings or whatever fuck fuck fuck and you know just just it's it's really it's a great scene it's a great scene fire is great no great scene. Wire's great. I've seen a couple episodes before and I remember liking it. I just, like I said, once I realized Taylor, I'm going to need you to cut it out with your day job and your workout program
Starting point is 00:37:14 and make more time for media consumption. I need to finish all the Sopranos, all of the Wire, all of Deadwood, which I think even though you guys like that show, you would rank that significantly below a Sopranos or
Starting point is 00:37:30 a Wire. Only because the ending was missing. Only because the ending was missing. It was very, very good season one. Were you disappointed by the ending of the series insofar as what the movie got to? Oh, it's awful. The movie took care of things just fine, I thought. But the way the series ended, it's like everything The movie took care of things just fine, I thought. But the way the series ended,
Starting point is 00:37:46 it's like everything's coming to a head, right? All of the sort of good-ish bad guys that we normally watch sort of in fight, they're like, they come together. It got canceled really suddenly, didn't it? That's the reason it got fucked? Yes. But to me, the ending matters.
Starting point is 00:38:03 And for example, Lost, I enjoyed Lost for years. And then once it ended, the whole thing got worse than it originally was. I enjoyed The Matrix. I was into all these fan theories and like little subtleties. And then the way it ended made me realize the first two were not as good as I thought they were.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Deadwood. I have this hope that the first two become better because now there's an ending yeah i think it does i think if you just ignore i mean i guess the ignore that decade that it took yeah ignore that everybody got older but they're still there it's it's pretty it's pretty interesting um to see everybody 10 years older do they get dead one's very good in that season i think boardwalk empire season one is as good as anything i thought that show was great i mean it goes downhill after um that main character gets killed off at the end of season one i think yeah uh jimmy jimmy darmody yeah
Starting point is 00:38:55 after jimmy gets killed uh things aren't as good because his story his drama of being the like steve buscemi his story wasn't quite compelling enough for me he was amazing as a foil to jimmy but to have sort of run the show himself it never really clicked for me i liked nucky oh i liked nucky and the guy with half of the guy with half a face who's always talking you know he was cool when he like goes into that house he just murders everyone oh when he goes into that poor house like fucking rambo. Oh, when he goes into that whorehouse, like fucking Rambo. It was so much like the ending of Taxi Driver
Starting point is 00:39:29 where De Niro goes into the whorehouse to rescue Jodie Foster. And he fucking blows Harvey Keitel away. He shoots that guy's hand off and just using his arsenal of weapons one by one to kill everybody. Movies do this thing. I don't know if there's a name for the trope, where the toughest character is tough because he's willing to be tough.
Starting point is 00:39:53 Gran Torino is an interesting example of that. The whorehouse scene. One guy goes in there with a bolt-action rifle and just takes out the world, and you're like, is that feasible? Or am I just well in his case he was he wasn't just well he was a sniper in world war one right he was that was his story he yes maybe he he's a guy who's killed dozens and dozens of people he's a world war one sniper who was extremely uh proficient and he went in there with a handful of weapons he has his handgun he has his rifle and he has uh i think maybe a shotgun and he completely takes the enemy by surprise and
Starting point is 00:40:32 they're all gangsters who are already having a bad night and they're they're all drunk and just chilling and he comes in just headshots all day long and they're just fucking terrified and scattering and trying to get terrified and they're scattering and that to me is part of the trope right that that's how gran torino was so successful right he's in there willing to shoot and those other guys maybe weren't if i recall the ending right no you don't i i never do um but or italian mobsters are a really good example right joe pesci in real life i can beat that guy up i don't sit here and pretend to be able to beat everyone up but joe pesci is six there is five foot nothing and way overweight and not actually tough. See, but Joe Pesci would never square up with you.
Starting point is 00:41:11 You don't get it, Woody. He would wait until you look away and stab you in the neck with a pen. Pen. Man, where's that big man I heard a few minutes ago? You know, one V1 fight, you're right, you would take it. There's a big tough guy here. Where'd the big tough guy go? Now here's a little baby, a little girl crying on the floor but you hear a little girl in here when the italian guys beat
Starting point is 00:41:30 up the motorcycle gang in what is that brooklyn something so uh story in brooklyn that's that's um that's a um i haven't seen or something like that it's it's the john joe montana movie so again you're misremembering that one when those guys come out of the back they come with bats and guns they didn't shoot a single person in that they because the guys were please don't shoot me and then they pistol whip them i need to see that again because i might misremember the thing about guns i remember them having bats clubs like various things that weren't weapons that could be used as weapons because they were like weapon size the name of the movie again would what this was a brooklyn store a brooklyn tale i'll get it um a bronx tale a bronx tale could be it i mean
Starting point is 00:42:16 we could watch it it's uh i got the link right here yeah it's only two hours and 40 minutes i mean this is it. I promise you, if you watch this, you'll be like, yeah, I don't think me and my buddies would have fared well if we were drinking in that bar either. Let's watch it. It's four minutes. We'll get demonetized. It'll be fun. It's PKN.
Starting point is 00:42:37 I feel like it'll be fine, right? This is when we can be a little naughty. Yeah, we don't have to worry about SEO on a private show. You guys ready? I am. Ready, set, play. Alright.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Motorcycle gang making noise. Mobsters take note of them driving by. Well, they seem rude. Oh, well, they ran a red light. Right away, you know they're in trouble. Nobody runs a red light in my neighborhood.
Starting point is 00:43:18 It is kind of a thing, though. Like, they're establishing that they respect no laws. Yeah, that's true. Thank God this greasy wop is there to keep people safe. You can't say that. What's wrong with the way we're dressed? This gentleman ain't dressed. Try to ask them to leave.
Starting point is 00:43:35 Is there a problem here? Not a problem. As your man here says, we're not properly dressed. Like our money ain't green. We just want a couple of beers. A few beers, that's it. That's it. We'll be on our way. They ain't looking for trouble. Just look like a beers. A few beers, that's it. That's it, we'll be on our way.
Starting point is 00:43:45 They ain't looking for trouble. Just look like a gentleman. Get in those beers, go ahead. I appreciate it. No problem. You got some brews down here, nice cold ones. Get in some nice cold brews, come on. All they had to do was just enjoy their beers. Yeah. He's a motherfucker. My favorite line I'm gonna turn it up Here it comes.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Now you just can't leave. I will never forget the look on their faces. All eight of them. Their faces dropped. All their courage and strength was drained look on their faces. All eight of them. Their faces dropped. All their courage and strength was drained right from their bodies. They had a reputation for breaking up bars. But they knew that instant they made a fatal mistake. This time they walked into the wrong bar. Come on, you scrappy!
Starting point is 00:45:22 Alright, I'm watching. He single-handedly punches the biggest guy. There's one gun that he's pointing but not shooting. He's pistol-flipping. They're hitting with chairs. Mostly punching. That guy is so not threatening. Tell me you can handle that guy.
Starting point is 00:45:38 I can't handle that guy. That guy is already exhausted. Most of these people are threatening 50. Everyone has a bat. That's not true. I haven't seen a fair fight yet. That's not true. Oh, the belly smushing?
Starting point is 00:45:52 Was that the unfair fight? That guy's 400 pounds. That guy would murder me. It's a bat inside a room. And every time a biker gets the best of a situation, another bat hits him in the back of the head. I'm not seeing all that. I'm seeing mostly bottles. I think I'm seeing
Starting point is 00:46:10 bottles. I'm seeing a lot of bat advantage here. Bat! Bat! Bat! You keep saying bat and I don't see any bats in the same scene you do. We're going to have to slow this down because we can see the bats. Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat!
Starting point is 00:46:25 Bat! There's a! Bat! Bat! There's a kid in the corner and you're yelling bat. I have to look again. I'm watching the bats fall. You're going to have to slow it down to quarter speed. It's just bat after bat. Is it bat after bat? I thought I was seeing bottles. Right there! They're bottles, right? And I don't know what to...
Starting point is 00:46:40 What is that? He's hitting him with a... Oh, he's hitting him with a motorcycle. Bat? Okay, okay, okay. I'll admit, the motorcycles are getting messed up by bats. Now the neighborhood is after him. Nobody's using the fish.
Starting point is 00:47:00 Bat, bat, bat. That's a broomstick. That's a broomstick. It's a bat. That's a proof stick. That's a proof stick. It's a bat. It was a proof stick. This is badass. Remember me. That was definitely not a fair play.
Starting point is 00:47:14 I talked over it a little bit, but he takes the leader of the motorcycle gang and says, I'm the one that did this to you. Remember me. I thought that was kind of like, you know, I don't know. Like, I'm the guy. You remember me i thought that was kind of like you know i don't know that like i'm the guy you remember me and like anyone else would be like you know like oh yeah i wish there was something i could have done but no he's like i it was me it just makes it extra badass all for running a red
Starting point is 00:47:41 well and i i didn't care as much about running a red. Well, and I didn't care as much about running the red, but that was very rude to treat that bartender that way. He didn't care for that. He pulled off the bartender's toupee. I had mullet, and I couldn't get it out of my head. He pulled off his mullet. I was trying to get him by the hair to do one of those bar smash things,
Starting point is 00:48:01 and he was like, ah! And then he got bad. There was only two punches in that whole brawl it was all bad the yeah That's funny you say that cuz yeah there. I don't remember seeing a single pond there was there was the Italian guys with bats gotta watch it again, so and half speed there weren't punches I'm dragging it through the timeline right now. I'm watching Big Fat Guy do the smushy move. I'm gonna mute it. Which looks awful.
Starting point is 00:48:29 That guy's ass was just enormous. Like a very pear-shaped individual. Here's a guy with a bat losing. Yeah, but don't worry. There's another guy with a bat who will help him out. There's another guy with... There actually is, but I don't think it's a bat. Well, it's a club. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:48:51 There are baseball bats, and then there are these 18 to 24-inch brown to black... It's like a billy club. It looks like a table leg. Yeah. It might be a table leg or a chair. Yeah, yeah. I think that's the see it when i saw it and i'm it's on the screen now people are seeing it i thought it was a bottle in at full speed
Starting point is 00:49:12 but it's like a small club yeah yeah they went medieval on those guys oh zidane ochara broken, probably out the rest of the series. Not good news for Boston. Icelandic politician or a hockey player? He is a ginormous defenseman for the Boston Bruins. So what do you think your chances are, Taylor? Winning the Stanley Cup. Probably 50-50 at this point.
Starting point is 00:49:45 For people who aren't watching this series at all, the Blues won last night. There are three games left, and it's tied up. Yep, tied 2-2. So if Chara's actually out, that does not bode well for the Bruins because Grzynski or whatever the fuck, he got injured earlier in the series with a bad concussion. He'll be back. One of their other defensemen was already out.
Starting point is 00:50:03 And then Chara, he's getting old. He's like 42, which is like 1,000 years old He'll be back Instead of deflecting into the corner, it deflected straight up and broke his jaw. That happens sometimes. Usually not a broken jaw, but a lot of facial injuries from that particular play. Yeah, he never dives. Like, Charlie is not a diver. And he went down like he got shot. And I was like, oh, let me see. And then, like, he lifted his head up a little bit, and there's blood all over his jersey and on the ice. And I was like, okay, well, that sucks.
Starting point is 00:50:42 Yeah, but then he went into the dressing room and of course nbc has such a hard-on for the bruins that like when he came back out of the dressing room with his fishbowl mask on they spent like five minutes of total air time in the third period just on chara vision being like now this is the kind of leadership you want out there boys you know he's probably got a broken jaw but he comes back out he can't even talk but he's there for his boys you don't think if teresanko did that they'd get equivalent attention hell no no they always favor like the nbc the only team nbc loves more than the bruins are the chicago blackhawks because they're based out of chicago and so they have a lot of hometown bias there but that's just natural it's not that they hate st louis or anything it's just that they
Starting point is 00:51:24 it's a business they're always going to favor bigger market teams as far as the amount of attention you give and also the fact that char has been in the league forever i don't fucking care if he can't play the rest of the series he already won a stanley cup in 2011 so get at the back of the line and so that's not how it works i know i know i'm looking at it the same way Hillary did. It's my turn to be president. It's Blue's turn to win the Stanley Cup. It might be better. It's our first Stanley Cup.
Starting point is 00:51:53 What, about second Stanley Cup? Yes, it's our third. What about second Stanley Cup? No, just one. I just want one. Just one. And then if we do win one, I'm going to be like, that's not enough. Start a dynasty.
Starting point is 00:52:02 Are you going to go to the parade? Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'll go to the parade if they win. You're going to go to one of those events where they let fans touch it? Maybe. Yeah, maybe. That'd be kind of cool to get a picture with the Stanley Cup. I think I've...
Starting point is 00:52:16 No, I'm thinking of... I went to the Football Hall of Fame, not the Hockey Hall of Fame when I was much younger. When I was like 28, there's a superstition. You don't touch the cup. You win it. Only people who've won the cup are allowed to touch it.
Starting point is 00:52:29 So 28-year-old me was like, well, maybe there's a chance. No, there was no chance. Not that I thought intellectually there was a chance, but it just seemed like I shouldn't touch it. I should...
Starting point is 00:52:41 Have you seen that clip of Matt Damon, who I think he's from Boston or something, but during one of those games he was like standing by the stanley cup and he's like wow can i touch it he's like yeah you can touch it so he's like touching it and looking and then he like goes to pick it up and he picks it up a little bit and like the two guardians are like don't pick it up don't pick it up you can only pick it up if you want it he's like i'm sorry my bad my bad did you see the those lovely st louis blues fans assaulting the guy from barstool sports they get slapped with a towel i saw that yeah he first he slaps him in the head and like the guy doesn't take notice of it so the guy's just like wow oh i didn't see his lap in the head i
Starting point is 00:53:20 saw a funny clip of a towel like that guy turns around like turns around like who fucking hit me? and they're like what? wasn't us? that's so trashy and they hit him because he was sitting he's clearly a Bruins fan I guess it was the part where the Blues won or maybe the game ended and it was clear
Starting point is 00:53:40 who won obviously the game ended and he's sitting and everybody else is standing and cheering and this guy fucking whacks him and it's this old fat guy dude like probably 55 60 years old like 100 pounds overweight bald and like he turns around like who fucking hit me who fucking hit me and he's and the guy's like what what a douchebag yeah i saw that and it was like for that no no you don't want to see that at all. I don't want to hit the players. That stuff belongs in Philly.
Starting point is 00:54:09 In Philly, look, you're not supposed to root for the other team when you're in Philly. These laws have been established back in the 60s or 70s. It was weird. I went to a Hurricanes game, and people were there to root for the other team and i'm like no one's gonna hit him like not even that shoulder check thing is that guy gonna go all game long without a beer poured on him all game that's how college football at the hurricanes
Starting point is 00:54:37 games that makes sense like i would imagine there's just as many away fans as there are home fans there because it's such a transplant city football can be like that too um i know i've heard a lot of stories about bad things happening to visiting fans in sanford stadium in atlanta in athens um you know especially with rivalry games like like if uh if georgia tech is there or florida well florida doesn't play there they're playing jacksonville but you know if somebody they really dislike is there um especially if you sit in the wrong section like if you buy nice seats and you're not near the student section you're fine because you're just adults but if you're up there near the fucking student section where these guys have been partying since 8 a.m or maybe the night before and they're coming in there just blitzed like like it's it's it's 20 year old dudes with more 20 year old dudes with
Starting point is 00:55:27 insane levels of alcohol poisoning they're ready for violence it must be all my time in like the philly area i'm like that's what home field advantage is you can't have people rooting for the other team at your home field like Like, if you sit there quietly like a mouse, maybe. Maybe. Yeah, but you can't go cheering for the wrong team. That's bullshit. You go to your own home team.
Starting point is 00:55:56 The only, like, the worst I've ever seen at a game, like, at least for hockey, is like if you're sitting next to someone else who's a fan of the other team, like a little lighthearted ribbing, but that's about it. I saw that Bruin fan get spat on in Atlanta once. A Bruins fan at a Thrashers game?
Starting point is 00:56:12 Yeah. It was actually after the game, down below in the tunnel. Imagine being that passionate about the Thrashers. Boo! You're spitting on Bruins players. We've had a team for six weeks now. Yeah, well, that sucks. I need to watch that clip of Portnoy again getting slapped with a towel because I only watched it on mute so far,
Starting point is 00:56:35 and it's probably funnier with the sound. It's so shitty. It's so shitty. Of course it's shitty. I think it was against Dallas where we hurt one of their players, and then people were throwing beer into our bench. Which, those are like $10 beers. In theory, they're tipping the blues.
Starting point is 00:56:57 Have you seen the one where there's a little bit of space between the penalty box, you're sitting there right next to fans, and they'll have their beer sitting up on the glass and like there's one where like someone's like screaming at someone on like the jets or something and the guy just like is chirping back at him and the player like grabs his stick sticks it through that hole and knocks over like three beers and the guy's just like, what the fuck? That was $75 worth of beer. Yeah, well, fuck you, man. You're a fucking loser.
Starting point is 00:57:30 That's one of the things that's really nice about the new Atlanta stadium, the football stadium. Oh, I've heard this. I think they call it fan-friendly prices. Shit costs what it should cost now. Like a soda is like $1.50, $2. Like chicken fingers are like $3. like a dollar fifty two dollars like chicken fingers are like three dollars like slice of pizza is a couple bucks like beers are three dollars or something and i saw they're making more money than they did before now with that
Starting point is 00:57:53 policy because people much yeah because now the way you do it is like you'll get in a game and be like man do i want a brat no no that's that's a nine dollar hot dog essentially nah fuck that whereas you'd be just eating the whole game if it's a dollar fifty a dog high prices in my head they're okay when it's just for me when i start buying twelve dollar brats for the whole family it's like oh four times four and then we get some drinks for like a $75 dinner. That's outrageous. And everybody's going to be hungry when we leave. People are going to be hungry before the game is even over. Because all we had was a hot dog.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Like, this isn't going to work. Yeah, I hate that. And I like eating at the game. I'll never forget when I bought those really expensive Braves tickets that time and I was just like, I was there. I was like, this is pretty nice. And right below me is where the, the players families sit.
Starting point is 00:58:47 Like they, you can't even, you can't buy these tickets. And I've got my nice food, you know, my hot dogs and French fries and they're my girlfriend and everything. And I look and someone's bringing, they're coming out with tiramisu and fucking hot chocolate.
Starting point is 00:59:01 And like, like they've got like a gourmet feast down there with little toothpicks stuck in it they've got access to some much better food somewhere back under that tunnel i yeah i i bought tickets i think it was not tickets a ticket and i think it was it might have been 800 to watch the stanley cup and i'm glad i went like even though we lost that game I feel like Taylor should pony up $1,300 for a Stanley Cup ticket I don't mean to hurt his feelings but they're never
Starting point is 00:59:31 coming back to the Stanley Cup this is your chance this is probably is you could really regret this and you're like a like you're a real fan there's no joke about this you're not a fair weather fan this is a thing that's been who you are for all your life and then like i don't know
Starting point is 00:59:51 it's easy to spend someone else's another reason is i'm on a i'm on a bad streak i think that they've lost the last six games i've been to in a row and so i don't know. So you would be responsible. Someday on the night would be game six. That could be the game where you guys win. Win or lose. Either team could win in game six, depending on how game five
Starting point is 01:00:20 goes. You can get a ticket for a grand. It looks like. Is that really a terrible nosebleed ticket for a grand? yeah it's in the mezzanine how much for $13? like if you spent $13.50 you know would you get
Starting point is 01:00:36 like a ticket in the meat of it? yeah I'm looking I think in the meat of it it's closer to $2,000 no it's over $3,000 Jesus Christ that's really a lot. Like just where you and I sat that time at that avalanche game, it's twenty four hundred dollars. But if you want to be like behind the like right down center ice, you want to smell the players. Yeah, it's thirty three300 to be behind the bench
Starting point is 01:01:05 it looks like. That's so much money. I'll link it to what I'm looking at because I don't know the layout of the hockey stadium very well. It is a lot. That is a lot. I see what you mean though. I would love to go. Nosebleeds is $1,100, yeah. But like two tickets at that price? That's like a vacation I could take.
Starting point is 01:01:23 Close to the handrail. Close to the handrail? Yeah, like mezzanine, $3.25, Roe J. Oh, yeah. It's not terrible. It's the kind of ticket that you would pay $10 for normally. I wonder how expensive were tickets to see the Canes when they were in the Cup? Probably not $300.
Starting point is 01:01:46 I think it was $800 for my ticket. That's not bad for a Stanley Cup final ticket. They're way cheaper in Boston than they are here. My dad got a ticket to go see them in Boston for $800. I don't see anything for less than a grand. To me, oh. Why is that so much? Yeah, Jesus Christ. see anything for less than a grand to me oh why is that so much yeah jesus christ nosebleed seats are 1300 like section 104 is two grand yeah 104 you gotta consider like is he gonna go by himself though too or
Starting point is 01:02:17 yes he is absolutely going to go by himself in my look at that there's two tickets directly behind where the Bruins will be playing in goal. $9,988.58. Only two tickets remaining. See, now, like, if his girlfriend was
Starting point is 01:02:37 also a lifelong Blues fan with the wardrobe to go with it, and they could name the first three lines and most of the fourth and the backup goalie, I'd say yes. You buy two tickets. But I doubt it. I think you should buy one ticket. I don't care
Starting point is 01:02:53 if his girlfriend was one of the starting players but she got injured. We're going to watch it at home with cheap beer and we're going to cheer real loud. He's got a big-ass TV. Yeah, we got the same TV.
Starting point is 01:03:09 You know how good it would look. Turn the air conditioning all the way down. If I went to another finals game, you know what I'd bring? Hearing protection. Like a little foam earplugs would make that whole thing so much more enjoyable. What happened the year I went was,
Starting point is 01:03:25 I guess we beat the Jersey Devils at some point, but the Devils were like, man, I don't even want to play the Canes. That place is dead. There's no hockey fans there. The whole North Carolina took offense to that. And the people who do all the entertainment and stuff, they ran with it.
Starting point is 01:03:43 So they handed out noisemakers, like slappy balloons and shit, and maybe horns or ran with it. So they handed out noisemakers, like slappy balloons and shit, and maybe horns or who knows what. But we were breaking noise records for the rest of the playoffs. And like Taylor, the city had kind of a – they cared. It was a thing. Everyone was kind of about it. People who barely followed hockey were suddenly wearing Canes gear to work at Cisco.
Starting point is 01:04:07 Indians were wearing Hurricanes gear. Everyone was just kind of like... I wish I could do the accent. I do not understand what the point of the game is, but I am very, very, very much fan. Yeah, and so it was cool. But yeah, hearing protection would have made the night more enjoyable for me. There's nothing more despicable than the bathroom at a sporting event, though. I got to say.
Starting point is 01:04:34 It's pretty gross. Actually, there is. There is something more despicable than the bathroom at a sporting event. Gas stations. Much worse than that. A gas station post-Kyle on a bad day. You're never going to get. The worst bathroom has to be,
Starting point is 01:04:46 there's a thing called the wing bowl. It's this huge hot wing eating convention where they also give away dollar beers. And these guys come in and they gorge themselves on free hot wings and they drink dollar beer and they're just vomiting and shitting all over the bathroom everywhere.
Starting point is 01:05:06 All day long. All day long long the poor custodian is this a thing they do everywhere i used to go to a bar when i like wasn't old enough to drink or as a lifeguard anyway um they would make the beers half price until someone used the bathroom like have you heard this? Is this a thing that they do every, yeah, they call it breaking the seal and they'd put like a piece of tape on the bathroom door. And until it had its first opening, the beers were half price. And it was always like some apologetic girl,
Starting point is 01:05:36 like gotta go. That's, that's how it went down. Everybody's pissing outside in the alley. The whole, the whole place reeks. Follow the show? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:50 I had fun. PKN 250.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.