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EKN256
Hello boys
Hey, how's everyone doing?
Doing really well
We were just discussing
Ambushing a future guest
So we got that in our pockets
It's up to you guys to guess who that might be
I got so much sun this weekend
I decided to completely stay out of the sun today
It hurt to brush my hair
It burnt through my hair.
There's no – oh, it's terrible.
You are looking a little red.
Oh.
I know exactly what you're talking about where like you'll think you have the sunburn under control and then you turn your shower on hot and you get in and you put your head under and you're like, oh.
Oh, I guess not.
I guess it's worse than I anticipated.
How was it overall?
Really good. Really good. I guess it's a bit worse than I anticipated. How was it overall? Really good, really good.
I'm working on it.
I went to a – remember that club with the boat where we go?
Basically, it's a boat with a very long line on a winch.
When the boat drives around, the glider goes up in the air,
and you can practice acrobatic moves and stuff in a safer environment
because you just land in the water,
and the boat's watching you to pick you up and stuff.
And I'm working on a move that
there's not that many people in the world that do it.
And I'm getting the knack for it.
So I'm kind of excited about that.
Is that kind of like paragliding?
Yes.
Smart move.
What were you saying, Taylor?
Is that like paragliding?
Yeah, it's acrobatic paragliding is what I'm doing.
Okay. Well, I've only done regular what they allow you to do paragliding yeah it's acrobatic paragliding is what i'm doing okay well i've
only done regular what they allow you to do paragliding do you mean i remember sailing
maybe parasailing that's what i mean sorry parasailing is what i did i was maybe like
17 years old and i did it no acrobatics obviously and it was you wait 45 minutes
for everybody in front of you to go and get their five minutes.
And then you finally do it.
And for the first, like, maybe four minutes, you're like, oh, my God, this rules.
And then you're like, all right, can I do something up here?
Can I move around?
So, yeah, acrobats make or acrobatics rather must make it a bit more fun.
Yeah.
So our point is to get... The part where the parasailing
where you drag behind it is just to get up
to altitude. We go to about 4,000 feet.
I was at like maybe 200.
I could see the water clearly.
I could see the Dominican guy
who clearly was not
qualified to be operating this.
He was not... Well, we have that in common taylor rest assured this is my third weekend doing this what could go wrong
and after two times nothing will go wrong kyle have you made any other
dope food this week i haven't noticed any text text coming through. Yeah, I've made a few different things.
I got my elk steaks.
I cooked those a couple nights ago.
Those were super, super tasty.
I've got a bunch of elk.
I've been cooking elk.
It's been elk all week.
Who gave that to you?
I went to a place in Atlanta that has exotic meats.
Ooh, nice.
What else did you get? All elk. I got all elk. Do you watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine? meats. Ooh. What else did you get?
All elk.
Do you watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine?
No.
We watch It's Always Sunny, though, where they're like,
ask if they have monkey, D.
Ask if they have monkey.
He's like, hey,
we got monkey.
I bet monkey
would taste horrible.
It's got to be all sinewy and and tough right like if you tried to eat a chimp i imagine that would be what it would be like eating a juiced up guy
tough if you ate like an old chimp i think it would be like the chicken and chicken noodle
soup because those are the old worn out birds that are like that are done with the they're that's all they're good for anymore i didn't know that
yeah so they put it in soup because then it breaks it down enough that you can't tell the difference
yeah the way um like like the eggs that you get from a fact if you don't buy like really expensive
eggs you're getting them from this sort of uh if you don't get the Nellies, organic, all natural, cage-free, field-raised, $8 an egg.
I buy the cheapest eggs.
Oh my God.
You got the slave eggs.
So if you're getting slave eggs, those birds are just shitting out eggs all day, air day,
and never seeing the sunlight or anything like that.
And after about two years or something like that, they are just blown out.
And they gather those chickens up.
They take them and slaughter them for their meat because that's all they're good for anymore.
Their egg production has declined.
And those are the chickens that you get in chicken noodle soup.
That's why that, I mean, if you think about it, it's always that really tough, chewy chicken.
But you're like, mm, wholesome.
This is what mom used to give me.
Well, it's good.
Slave chicken. chicken but you're like wholesome this is what mom used to give me well it's good slave chicken
how long do chickens continue like producing eggs at a good pace i think it's like two years
oh you know i saw a clip today on uh the nature is metal reddit while i was waiting for us to
start this oh god and it was one of those it was just like uh chicken eats trapdoor poisonous
spider or something and like i was it was just a like picture of the the spider moving around and
some guy with a stick poking it and then a chicken runs over just and eats it and it was like man
that's pretty brave like i know it doesn't have a concept of venom but have you ever done that
like seeing an animal do something like oh don't oh, don't you know that could hurt you?
Like, that could really fuck you up.
Animals don't really have a concept of that sort of danger.
Just like when I see those, like, mountain goats or whatever,
who inexplicably are on those impossible ledges
up to 2,000 feet.
It's more slippery.
It's crazy.
If they had, like, lizard finger hands you know ever see them
they're kind of almost suction tips and if that was what their feet were like and i saw them
walking all over cliff sides i'd be like well that makes a lot of sense but hooves i don't get why
they're so successful i feel like i couldn't navigate a macy's if i had hooves like slipping all over the place exactly yeah
your animals beat our ass at so much other than totally dominating the planet and making them
our bitches you know so i guess we come out on top i have as soon as they learn tools we're
fucked imagine monkeys are already learning tools you seen that video of there's this chimp who's
like got one arm and one foot wrapped around a tree,
and it's got a rotted out inside.
It's kind of like a forked tree.
And he has this long stick that he sticks down there, holds it for a second, lets bugs crawl onto it,
then pulls it out and just like corn on the cob style, eats all of it.
I wonder if he figured that out or if he was taught that.
Because when it becomes ancestral, I don't know if I used that right,
but when it becomes passed down generation to generation,
then real knowledge develops.
I saw the same program.
I think that it's taught, and they literally said that those chimps
had entered the Stone Age because they were making their own tools,
and the older ones were teaching the little ones how to make the –
they were always making the same tool.
It wasn't like, this guy's got a big long
stick and this one's got a little stubby one that doesn't work
so well. They're all like, no, no, no.
Long, skinny. That's the trick, kids.
That's the...
Man, that's crazy
if they've entered the Stone Age.
Or are they just really lowering the qualifications
for the Stone Age so they can say that
and get some clicks? Because I feel like when we were in the Stone Age so they can say that and get some clicks?
Because I feel like when we were in the Stone Age, we were whittling and not whittling, but chipping down.
Yeah, we were tying rocks to sticks with lashing, right?
That's what I think of as the Stone Age.
We made an axe.
Yeah.
We came up with atlatls and bows and things like that.
They entered the pointy stick phase.
Well, it auto-filled on Google, so that's telling.
It is.
Since in the last four minutes since we started recording,
it is a torrential downpour outside.
Torrential downpours can be neat.
Coming down.
Yeah, I like flash floods.
I have a topic.
Sure, what's up?
Is he the asshole?
So I don't want to talk about who,
but somebody in my universe told me this story.
So he's with this girl,
and they're not like an exclusive couple or anything.
But, you know, she's super cute.
He likes her and he goes to see her every so often.
They have sex, you know, for like a long time.
It's like a special night together.
And he's like snuggling her.
Kind of post-coitus snuggling of some sort.
And he's like, there's no way you're single.
And I don't know,
he was just being like playful or whatever.
And to his surprise,
she's like, yeah,
I mean, I got a boyfriend.
And this didn't sit well with him, right?
He didn't want to be the other guy.
That wasn't what he signed up for.
He thought there was an implied
we are single people doing this
kind of thing going on there.
So
they get together
again. You know, the same night, right?
They go for round two, I suppose.
And he gives her a gigantic hickey
that can't be hidden.
Is he the asshole?
I think he's a funny prankster.
Is where I come down on it.
She is the ultimate asshole in that right
but he i don't think is an asshole at all because he well okay a little bit of an asshole after if
when he came back for seconds a little asshole-ish but he already knew the ship had sailed there was
no docking that ship back in the bay like it was kind of over and if she was that blasé about
saying to him
oh yeah i've got a boyfriend like he's got to be not dumb enough to think that he's the first one
this has happened he's the only side chick yeah yeah the only side dick that he's that she's
getting i like it rhymes yeah no i don't like it i don't like it uh i don't i don't think he should
have given he says so he intentionally gave her this hickey, eh? Oh, yes. He didn't just intentionally
give her a hickey. He intentionally gave her
the hickey to end all hickeys that can't
be covered or claimed to be something else.
And you don't think that's funny, Kyle?
No, I think that's real shitty.
Oh, I'm coming down very differently.
That's not cool.
That's an SOS flare
that he's firing off for that poor
boyfriend, the way I see it. He's like, I'm going to get my fun, an SOS flare that he's firing off for that poor boyfriend the way I see it.
He's like, I'm going to get my fun, but also make sure that he knows what's going on.
Yeah.
I saw a story on Reddit, might be false, where he found out that the girl that he was with actually had a boyfriend that lived there.
So he put a note under the toilet seat letting letting him know that like, Hey, I didn't
mean to do this. I didn't know what was up, but you should know your girl's cheating on you.
And I was here, you know, this night. And, uh, of course she won't spot it because it was under
the toilet seat. But when you have the seat part, but when the boy lifts it, he'll know it's there.
He snitches.
He snitches.
Snitches.
Man, under the toilet seat.
I would be straight up spooked if I got a message under my toilet seat.
You know?
I would not care for that one bit.
Speaking of, well, not speaking of spooked,
Barry, that show you were speaking about
last week, Kyle,
I started watching it.
Huge fan.
This shit is hilarious. my only complaint is that
there's too much on the acting side not enough on the funny assassin side yeah maybe you agree
with that maybe you don't that blonde actress girl is very not funny very not entertaining
like she's she's boring uh but whatever his name is who plays barry he's hilarious he's great at acting like
a guy who doesn't know how to act yeah yeah it's later they could do that bill hater has some of
the best impressions out there and he has some of the funniest sketches on saturday night live
um it's just really really good bits and uh and man he's great as barry uh it's it's a good fucking show um is it over or are they
still um they're still making it's a very only like four episodes in but they have two seasons
now yeah oh yeah they have two seasons it's it's it's real popular henry winkler plays
the acting uh teacher the acting coach who's a bit of a liar i like him and uh and then you've
got this guy from gotham whose name is very difficult but he's the bald guy who has who's a bit of a liar i like him and uh and then you've got this guy from gotham whose name is
very difficult but he's the bald guy who has who's like completely hairless uh and and he's he's part
of the chechen mafia and he's this weird mixture of light-hearted funniness and silliness and and
like super hardcore scariness that that's just great and he's got like alopecia or something
where there's like he doesn't have eyebrows he has no eyebrows at all and that guy who you're
talking about is far and away the funniest character in the show i think because he'll like
barry will be going out you know he'll get assigned a hit or whatever and that little guy
will text him and be like uh hey it turns turns out that Gorzo wants to talk to you.
And then he'll send that, and then right afterwards send like a,
uh-oh, like kind of emoji.
Yes.
He'll send these big long, it's like, murder this guy, blah, blah, blah.
Make sure it hurts.
By the way, delete all these messages please and then the one where he's like uh early on where kind of barry's manager
is like yeah i got who is another fantastic actor i don't know what his name is but he plays bill
dotriev uh and a ton of other guys yeah yeah he's a fantastic actor and he is the manager for
barry in the assassination business i guess and so he'll tell barry uh like hey these chechens
they have a job that you can fill they seem like hardcore guys so tell them something fucked up you
did didn't you stab a guy in the nuts once and barry's like yeah i don't know i didn't even
really mean to though it just kind of happens like tell him that i think i think they'll like
that and then he meets with those guys and they're like we need you to shoot this guy and get it done
with and do this and barry's like do you want me to do anything like like i can stab him in the nut
if you want they're just like oh can you just shoot him that's pretty fucked up man oh jesus like
it hurts really bad just shoot him yeah yeah it's it's it's really funny um like like how
how like nonchalant they are with with murder and stuff and he's just sort of got this uh
these two very different parts of his life.
It's a little like Dexter,
but much funnier.
Yeah.
And you'll warm up to the acting side of things,
I think.
Like to see how his murder life
like fucks with his acting life.
That's really funny stuff.
Like more and more
they'll mistake his like mental breakdowns and stress for acting i'm still waiting for more of
that because the way you described it was very funny yeah yeah that's a little bit later on um
barry gets into more and more hardcore shit as the show goes on.
And there's – I won't spoil anything, but it becomes more and more – there's one episode in particular.
It's probably season two, episode three or four, where he's got to take out this Taekwondo master.
Yeah, that's what I was hoping to get to in the first few episodes. I'm like, where's that goddamn scene Kyle was describing?
Dude, where do you get to the Taekwondo master that he's gotta kill?
That episode is hilarious.
That's the best episode
of the whole series, I think.
That's some fucked up shit.
It's really good.
Yeah.
Is there any other good shit you guys are watching?
Maybe not necessarily on par with that.
I watched bad shit. I watched The Society. I think that's what it's called. Do you guys are watching? Maybe not necessarily on par with that. I watched bad shit.
I watched The Society.
I think that's what it's called.
Do you guys know it on Netflix?
I've probably scrolled by it.
I'll have to look it up.
It's basically a Lord of the Flies, like a modern day one.
Essentially, there's a high school full of teenagers.
And they go on a field trip.
The field trip gets canceled, I think.
And they take them back to the town they came from.
But now the town is completely empty.
All the adults are gone.
And all the roads leading out of this town are blocked.
And when they try to hike out, one of the girls dies of a snake bite.
And so now they're just trapped in what turns out to be a replica of the town they're from.
An exact replica.
All the cabinets are
filled with the same medicines and grocery stores are stocked just like they were before
it's kind of like they just vanished all the adults but there's some differences that make
them know understand that it's a replica they've done this and now these teenagers and high school
graduates some of them you know they had just finished have to create their own society
and you know the football team becomes this sort of like police military organization that enforces
rules some of these people with leadership take over some of the people are like sociopaths you
know doing things there's some deaths involved and i liken it to designated survivor which is
to say that like it started off with a really, really great premise, and I was sucked into it.
I wanted to see where it went.
Then over the full season, I was like, eh, I don't give a fuck about who's dating who, and they spend a ton of time on that.
Which relationships are going well.
This teenager's mad at that teenager.
I couldn't care any less.
I want to see the society develop. Relationships are going well. This teenager's mad at that teenager. I couldn't care any less.
I want to see, like, nice Taylor, Thunder.
I want to see, like, the society develop and, like, turn on itself.
And I want to see some violence and stuff like that.
I definitely don't care about teen dating.
It couldn't be less interesting.
I just finished The Sun.
I think the full title is, is like the first son of Texas.
That's the movie with what's his name? Pierce Brosnan
as
the Comanche-raised
cowboy, the Western. That was a pretty
good series. I think that's the
end of it. Two seasons.
It was pretty decent.
I just watched the sixth season of The Black
List, which is the James Spader show, where he's the world's most notorious criminal. It was pretty decent. And I just watched the sixth season of The Blacklist,
which is the James Spader show,
where he's like the world's most notorious criminal.
And he's got a deal with the FBI where he helps them take out people who are on his list, his blacklist of like super secret,
basically James Bond villains.
He's like, you guys don't even know about.
You think you got, you guys don't even know.
There's a whole criminal underworld of these guys who are essentially james bond villains that you've never even heard of because
they're they're good at doing their job but i know all about them and i can help you take them out
and he's just basically you know like one step ahead uh like all the time and he's an absolute
he's a murderer he kills a lot of people he's got a it's it's pretty light-hearted he's got like a
guy for everything if he needs to get something done like he's got a guy that does that you know like dwight shrewd was like always like yeah i
got a goat guy he's like frank reynolds he's like i got a pig guy yeah exactly yeah he's got a
torture guy um like whenever he needs to have someone tortured he brings this weird dude in
who's like he's like on oxygen on this oxygen respirator all the time and he's he he
comes up he devises these bizarre tortures that are custom made for each person based on what
they would be afraid of and like it always involves animals and weird shit like he's like
first of all sonny i'm gonna need you take to take your britches off and the guy's like what
what the fuck and a few hours later he comes out of the room wearing a full beekeepers outfit
He's like I think he knows but he's holding on to that information
I'm gonna go back in
We're having his coconuts pollinated as we speak
it's terrible it's good shit
yeah I'm on the hunt
for new things to watch
Game of Thrones really left a nice big empty space
Netflix had
the thing I read said they lost subscribers
but they gained more than they lost but nonetheless
Netflix is suffering
and I find it really interesting
you know I
they gotta come out with better shows
they're losing a lot of stuff um they're losing a lot of their like what i think of is sort of tentpole programs not in the
traditional sense but but in the sense that like they've had them forever and they get watched a
ton like the office and friends are i think watched a lot over there i watch the i watch
hours of the office every week and it's going bye-bye um they need some more original programming
and you know i thought they had a good thing going with the marvel stuff but of course disney owns
that and and they're sort of pulled the rug out from under all that marvel stuff realize how
vulnerable they were to so much you know like it like you mentioned the marvel thing where they had
stars and stars was just a tremendous amount of content,
but not really great content.
But when it was gone, I was like, man, a lot's missing.
I missed it.
And when they started making all their own shows,
I thought that was dumb, that they should just keep renting them.
But it turned out not to be dumb,
because no one wants to rent them stuff anymore.
It turns out the owners of the shows have the real power,
not the distribution person.
I feel like they've ruined their
Netflix original brand
a little bit because it used to be,
and I think we've covered this before,
that when I would see a Netflix show, I'd be like,
oh, it's got a lot of money behind it, a lot of
talent. This should be good. And you give it a go, and it is
pretty good. Now, when I
see Netflix original, and it's
next to 10 other netflix
originals that i'd never scrolled past until that moment i'm just like they're all of this is going
to be trash they're all content and so they're yeah they're all b's and c's and the occasional
well at this point probably the best is a b honestly like there's just have you seen the
last original yeah yeah that was one of their early series right yeah it's still going um i like that one i i always thought that that was um
like a a b level game of thrones almost like i haven't seen the most recent season but it was
good i liked it you got oh what was his name is that the vikings one yeah uh it's it's related
to the vikings yeah yeah he i mean he was the funny vikings one it's just the vikings one yeah uh it's it's related to the vikings yeah yeah he well i mean
he was a funny vikings one it's just called vikings i think it's called vikings i like that
one is no no norseman right oh norseman you're right yeah yeah yeah it's a little confusing
because there's three big viking shows out there there's vikings made by history channel
which is excellent by the way especially like the first three seasons. It circles around Ragnar Lothbrok.
Lothbrok, yeah.
Yeah.
The motorcycle gang dude, I forget his name.
The blonde-haired guy that played Jax.
I think that's him, yes.
No, no, no.
It just looks a lot like him.
Really?
I think it's the case, yeah.
I'm pretty sure it just looks a lot like him.
I thought that guy died.
No, that's Paul Walker you're thinking of.
Oh, well, shows what I know.
Is Paul Walker the Fast and Furious guy?
Not anymore.
Not anymore.
He exploded.
People do that.
And so then there's Norseman, and that's the funny one.
That's the silly one.
I'm really looking forward to another season of that that that's great there's just been two right
or maybe I think so yeah I think maybe maybe two seasons of that uh that's a funny fucking show
they're they're just so backwards and dumb and they're and you know they've really mixed comedy
with the barbarism really well that's good the guy that there's a guy who starts off the whole thing as the leader of them and uh he's
the funniest to me he's always he just phrases things really funny i can't do it like kyle
can't kills me i like i love his brother who's like the who's the gay viking and he's got like
they discover his stash of like hand crude crudely hand-drawn homosexual pornography and wooden dildos.
He tries to explain it away.
It's the crudely drawn part of it that's so funny.
It's so crudely drawn.
It's six-year-old in crayon class.
The dicks are just aligned towards some other stick figure.
Yeah, it's fucking good. I like Viking
shit. It's pretty interesting.
But yeah,
The Last Kingdom was a pretty good show they made.
But yeah, I gotta admit,
I don't know.
They're forgettable, you know?
I bet if I had a whole list of all their best shit...
These are Netflix originals?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I never did watch Marco Polo.
I've heard people speak highly of that.
It's terrible. I heard Narcos is very
good. You've never seen Narcos?
Oh, Narcos is top tier.
I watched Narcos. Narcos could totally be an
HBO show.
I hold it in that kind of regard. It's just as
good as a lot of
HBO shit. It's very good. And
it's a true story. And they do different true stories every season. They've either done two
or three seasons. I think they did two seasons in Colombia on Pablo Escobar, maybe. I could be
wrong. And then they did a season on Mexico when the Mexicans shifted to marijuana really heavily in like the late
seventies or early eighties or something like that.
And they got a lot of threats from the actual cartel.
So I'm,
they were worried they weren't going to be able to continue production
because they're like the shows based on real cartel members,
some of which are still alive and some of which have been dead,
but all of which are portrayed as criminals instead of, I mean're portrayed as who they were well yeah i might not like that
they don't like that i don't think they like being portrayed at all um you know you don't
think like even the top guys like amen this pretty cool like made netflix oh the Pink Humvee. I like that. I don't really like it.
After they left the Escobar storyline,
I lost a lot of
interest in that show. Really? I liked it.
I really like...
Narcos Mexico is pretty good.
I had to stop watching at the end because I know
how it ends, and it's fucked up.
Like one of the main
characters dies a really gruesome death,
and it was a big deal when it happened
It changed the United States
policy
With the cartel with Mexico and with drug and interdiction down there
they killed a DEA agent in a really horrific way and
I want to see that it's yeah, I quit watching about two episodes to go because I didn't want to see it
it's yeah i quit watching about two episodes to go because i didn't want to see it
uh well i probably won't watch it either then well i mean it's good it's good show good season but uh i didn't want any part of that that's up it's real up the last really
honestly i think the last really funny and good netflix original series i watched was american
vandal the one where spray painting dicks on things.
That had me enthralled.
Usually I'm watching a show
I didn't watch. Or no wait, that was
the one, they were pooping
places, right? I don't know. I didn't see it.
Or something. I didn't watch the second
series. The first one really, really made me
laugh hard, so I liked that. Something
I can't get into at all that Netflix does
in Stranger Things. Yeah. The first laugh hard so i liked that something i can't get into at all that netflix does and stranger things
yeah first season was okay this is over like it was one of those shows where i was watching the
first season and i'm like oh okay this is kind of engaging it's got a weird fantasy element and
there's aliens and monsters and shit and everybody the whole time's like beating off over at fever
she's like oh my god this is the best show ever i love this
show and then i watched season two and by like a couple episodes into that i'm like this is just
not this is straight up not good these kids are not good actors this is not very a very compelling
storyline anymore and so i'm not going to watch season three but that one three is back everyone's
beating off over it again i it's not that good. I thought season one was
good. It was a
B-minus show. It was an above average
show to me. I didn't understand why
the internet was so excited about it.
I wonder if they're after season one.
I love season one. I thought it was excellent.
I thought the kid actors
did a very strong job. They all got
lots of work right after
that. I thought they did good jobs
in all the movies that they went to.
I can't think of the guy's name
who plays the sheriff.
He's great. Winona Ryder's great.
I love season one.
I haven't watched season two or season three yet
because I'm saving them.
We'll just leave it at that.
You liked it that much?
I loved it. I loved it a lot.
I'm a big fan. I loved it a lot. Yeah. Huh.
I'm a big fan.
Yeah, I like it a lot.
I thought it was really good.
I thought the kid actors, I mean, I haven't seen season two.
I have heard season two isn't as good as season one.
It's a step down.
I've heard that.
But I thought they were excellent in the first season.
Oh, did you see Boogie decided not to get that car?
No, he did.
He lost the deposit.
I thought he bought a tesla he put
well you can't just buy a tesla you put a deposit down and they build you a tesla so you put down
like i heard ten thousand dollars i don't know what it is but if it's a ninety thousand dollar
car that that seems about right but uh you put down a fucking big ass deposit and then they
build you up the wrong one according to me according to me. The Model 3 is their latest one.
It's not their greatest one, but the performance is still outrageous.
It has all the cool tech.
The self-driving stuff would be so attractive to me.
I would love that.
The problem is he spent $100,000 on a car.
It really would have been better if he dialed that back.
Even $65,000 is a lot on a car.
That's a nice Model 3. He could have been really happy there well they're like 30 grand well three's like 30 yeah but not not the special one you want the longer range that
goes 350 miles and you want the auto driving which is 65 well what's the good model 3 cost
it's not 65 ish really it doubles the price when you load it out yeah yeah it's something interesting
yeah i don't i don't look into those things at all i don't like the the teslas i would really
the only trouble is like one of my use cases is a 350 mile drive like when i do this paragliding
thing yeah it's 350 each way and which is right on the edge of what it can do you know i it probably
can't do it.
You probably have to drive the speed limit the whole way.
I don't know.
I bet you could find a spot to have lunch halfway
that has one of those PowerPoint things
and just make that part of your trip every time.
How common are those now?
Pretty common.
I mean, they're everywhere.
I'm in Atlanta, so maybe I'm an outlier,
but everywhere I go, they have them there.
Every mall, every nice downtown i go they have them there like every mall um like
every nice downtown area um maybe that's why i haven't seen any if like kyle says you know you
want to stop for an hour and top off a little bit that would work out but it's kind of not what i
want you know i i like being able to power through and get there. I wouldn't want a car looming over my head,
causing me financial stress.
Well,
it's going to make money for you,
Taylor.
That's what you don't understand.
When you're asleep,
it's out working.
I wonder what level you believe that.
All I got to do is get five people to also sell these vitamins.
And then I'm making money on this vitamin sales operation.
I only had to pay a $500 in fee.
He got put together.
That's what we call that.
Put together, like taken for a ride?
I thought that had to do with financing.
When you come in underwater
and you leave even more underwater.
Or maybe put together is a broader term.
It's a broader term
that means he got taken for a ride.
How do you think he got taken for a ride?
He explained exactly how he got taken for a ride. The guy you think he got taken for a ride i mean he explained exactly how he got taken for a ride the guy sold him on all the features of the car and how the car was going
to make money for him you know and how like like just you know all the videos that he can make with
the car now he sold him on the imaginary features of the car that's the part that got me right yeah
the parts that don't technically even exist yet. The parts that are...
The whole thing where the car is going to be able to be part of its own ride-sharing thing
and you'll just park your car.
He'll be inside playing games and his car is just going to drive away
and go pick somebody up and take him somewhere.
And then he'll get money deposited into his account
and then the car will park itself. It take itself up wash itself you know go go fuck a ford
totally sentient yeah and then come on back well i mean you know the idea is it would be able to do
those basic things where essentially you know take itself out pick somebody up drop them to
destination fuel itself come back would it be if it could drop you off at the airport it doesn't
have to even go back to your house.
Even if it just went to long-term parking and dropped you off up close, that'd be pretty
neat.
That would be really convenient, actually.
I see your point now that you wouldn't have to park.
Yeah, that's pretty bad.
But imagine how stressed you would be.
Insecurity, wondering if your $90,000 investment made it to the long-term lot.
Like, best case scenario, it went to hourly.
Best case scenario, it went to hourly.
I am fucked!
Wait, how would the car even take a ticket?
You don't...
I didn't think about that, actually.
Well, in the future, Taylor.
Yeah! Taylor, you're so stuck in 2000.
Usually you gotta hit the button and then put it on your...
I didn't think about that at all.
Post it on the windshield.
I thought it would just drive to the...
I would love for you to...
I need Taylor next to me and a Tesla salesman to protect me.
How about a car ticket ticket?
Wait a minute.
He's been full of shit this whole time.
This guy's a master ruse-man.
Imagine a cop pulling your car over for speeding and nobody's in it.
That's pretty funny.
Fuck, they got me again.
It's only Teslas.
There's no one to take it.
But it's a black car, so he takes the headlight out.
Jesus.
It took me a second to process that.
What are you doing here, boy?
The car's like, the windshield wiper
flicks twice. You don't look like you belong on this
interstate.
You're on the wrong side of the tracks.
But yeah,
I think he got put together and
it takes a while for that to
wear off for someone to realize.
Especially when you're
not taking possession of the vehicle.
That's a weird thing that
whenever we would sell someone a car that
was not yet a car like when we're we're
like gonna order you one or we're gonna get you one um and and the best thing we can do is take
you for a test drive and one that's similar but this one's ours it's not gonna be yours
that was always very tentative and it didn't really feel like you had actually
fucked them yet like i'm switching over to like hooking up with a girl
it's almost like you'd arranged everything she said she was gonna fly down but just at any moment
she'd just be like yeah i got my period this week it's just not gonna work or you know ah work won't
let me go like it's not for sure thing yet you but whereas when they come in and they sign the
papers and they drive away in the car like a lot of states have a law that's literally i think
called the curb law or something like that essentially when they drive like and they have
the exact distance when they've taken that car so many feet from the curb of the dealership
a legal thing just happened as a buyer i'm sorry like this legal thing i never knew that but as a
buyer i always kind of understood a new car has like 12 miles or less kind of you know that that's
about right ish if i see a car with 50 miles on it it's almost like well someone drove this one
around you know it's not new anymore and is it when i own a car i think i
get to like 150 miles in no time at all you know it's almost exciting to drive it i'm breaking it
in let's see and i know now it's not new i can't give it back i can't expect them to sell this to
someone else with hundreds of miles on it people will do that people do that all the time um but
do you guys take it back? Almost, without question.
It seemed like it was one of those things where making trouble with somebody and trying to force them to take a car was way more trouble than it was worth to just make a few thousand dollars in the long run.
I bought a Ford Focus.
I was being frugal.
This is, I don't know, a long 20 years ago.
And it didn't have cruise control, which was really important to me.
I use it more than most people do.
So they put on an aftermarket cruise control and it was dreadful.
It didn't work.
It didn't do what you expected.
The stick was like, it looked like some fucking gorilla drilled it in the side.
It is poorly installed.
And, oh, it had a wire hanging by
your feet that you would step on that would stop the car from like starting all right whoa what the
fuck yeah it sounded like some cholos took you for a ride i mean it was like a real ford
this is a feature homie i don't even need a key but this wire only comes in the 2001 so this is a brand new car from a
regular ford dealership it wasn't like i went to some mom and pop used bullshit place that you know
will be gone next year and uh they just did a really shitty job and after i basically said i
don't want this like this isn't what we talked about you know at the time cruise controls you
know how you press the button five times fords have like a positive click click click click and yeah it goes up five miles an hour
this wasn't like that at all you just sort of held it and it would and it gets revs yeah on the focus
yeah yeah it was bullshit i don't i don't remember if it read but whatever i hated it it was a really
bad experience and i they wouldn't take the car back I fussed I asked for a manager I didn't have any success maybe adult me would have done a
little better you know older oh yeah I gotta take that bitch back yeah sure it
have and he just oh my god he started telling me about his faith and how his
relationship with God and he would never do a bad thing and his voicemail talked
about how much he loved God and I I'm like, this is a fucking sales tactic, you asshole.
If somebody in the context of a business deal
tells me about their relationship with God,
that guy's trying to fuck you.
That guy absolutely is trying to convince you
he's someone he's not.
Yeah, I don't like, let's not mix that in.
Like, I don't even know about your family.
I don't even know about your spiritual life.
Like, what's important here is the matter at hand. Yeah, it's manipulative. Let's not mix that in. I don't even know about your family. I don't even know about your spiritual life.
What's important here is the matter at hand.
It's manipulative.
You should come back with some crazy shit.
Really?
My father runs a little church.
My father was killed by a Lutheran.
I like where you're headed.
I remember the guy that I bought my car from recently was like, I bought it.
Everything was signed.
Check was given.
Money was taken out of my account.
Everything was good to go.
And he must have called me five times over the next two weeks being like, hey, just reminding you to hop online and take the customer satisfaction survey uh because you know i don't get my full commission unless you go in there and give all tens for everything so just letting you
know and then you'd call over and over and over and it's like i got a life i got shit to do this
is one thing on my docket and then i went to the review thing and it wasn't just a anonymous yelp or i don't even know what what
site it would have been it wasn't an anonymous oh 10 10 10 10 10 that goes to the dealership
he wanted me to like post publicly on yelp about him like by name and it's like no you
fucking cunt i'm no i'm not making a public post on Yelp about you. Yeah. I thought that it was going to be a thing that it was like,
oh, thanks for choosing fucking Stevenson Honda.
How did it go with Ted?
10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, submit.
I would have done that easily.
It wasn't that.
It was a huge hullabaloo where they're trying to get all this information.
No, no.
Yeah.
It's fine.
It's a big deal, like getting the surveyed back and all tens like like you might
think i'll give them all 90 i it was very satisfactory not incredibly satisfactory it
would have been easy i would have done all tens i always do that to hook people i didn't get my
dick sucked so it wasn't all 10 i made a deal at a hotel a couple years ago i they're like you know
like if you reviewed us on Yelp or whatever it was
and took this survey, it would really help us.
We get a $35 bonus if people that stay here
sign us and mention our name, how good we are.
And it's like, huh, you'd like a $35 bonus?
And I just broke my leg
and find it hard to carry luggage with crutches.
Maybe we can work something out.
They were more than happy to like, yeah.
So you want me to just take your suitcase to your car for $35?
Yeah, we would bribe people.
You would bribe people?
Yeah, we'd straight up bribe them.
It was a huge deal to get all 10s with Ford
to be a dealership that had whatever percentage of all 10s
or whatever was a huge deal.
Everybody was getting bonuses. So every time I sold you a new car, I would be like, look,
you're going to get this form. It looks like this. Here's a copy of it. You're going to get this.
I need all tens. All you gotta do is bring that back to me. I'll fill it out and I'll give you
a free oil change or a free tank of gas, whichever one you want.
Either way, it's a pretty good deal.
We can go to the service department, get a free oil change.
I don't know what that costs, $75 probably with the oil,
or a full tank of gas, which, again, if it's an SUV or something,
probably $50, $60 as well.
And I got excellent scores because I bought them all.
That's way better.
That was my next question.
That's coming right out of the dealership.
I got a fucking card for the dealership,
so we just drive you over to the BP and bloop, and we're all good.
See, if it was just a sheet
and it was like,
here, you fill it out for yourself.
Tell them I think you're cute, too.
Whatever the hell. It doesn't matter.
I would have done that. The thing they wanted to have me do was like a public post and i also it
wouldn't let you submit it unless you agreed to be on their mailing list it was like an online and
it was like are you actively trying to get people to not take this because if you just gave me what
kyle just described it would have taken me one second to go 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 here
yeah take it let me leave i don't want you to call me ever again our transaction is over honda man
like that's it and i you would offer like free tank of gas or free oil change like the place i
bought mine from like they say they'll just give me free oil changes whenever as long as i come back
you get like free oil changes forever for buying a car from them? I mean, as long as my warranty is still in place.
They said yeah.
I don't know what that is.
That's an interesting...
That's a better deal than I've seen before.
Yeah, I've never heard of that.
What I was doing was...
He was selling it hard, though.
What I was doing wasn't...
Maybe you paid for it?
Part of your warranty?
Did you buy a warranty when you were're being financed like an extended warranty
oh no i just got like the whatever it is the normal one when i bought that focus they laid
out that they sold the whatever honda provides i don't know they were they and they made it seem
like a good deal like a profitable deal you know you pay this thousand dollars we'll give you like
a thousand dollars in oil changes and this and that $1,000, we'll give you like $1,000 in oil changes
and this and that.
And I said, no.
And he's like, you know, all right, I just want to know.
Like I get, you don't want this.
Why don't you want it?
And I was like, because if you want to sell it,
it can't be good for me.
Wow.
Like I see all your math.
I see that the math works,
but the fact that you're trying to sell
it to me means i probably shouldn't buy it yeah they started off with me being like
and the honda train warranty which come from honda does this and that and the other thing
like as i'm driving it around like sounds pretty good and then they get me in the finance office
and they're like now that honda train warranty a lot of holes in it you know you need to buy this and that and i had to say this this dude this 62 year old man would not
he must have taken five no's on an additional warranty before it was like no i mean yeah your
salesman really convinced me this honda warranty is gonna take care of me. I've never heard someone being like, God damn Honda fucking me over.
I've never heard that in my life.
I've worked in sales.
The way these guys don't take no is uncomfortable.
They will not take a no,
especially that finance guy.
He lures you in.
He's got a picture of his family turned towards me for some reason
because he's being manipulative. I'm just kind of in my head being like
that's smart i do the same thing you see that snaggle tooth kid that's mine
you want him to get braces well let's hook you up with one of these warranties
all those kids are mine well that says graduating class of the down Syndrome Academy 2008. That one's black!
I used to go in ready to say no at GameStop.
I'd be like, alright, I'll just take Borderlands 2.
No upsells, please. Alright, would you like
to be a GameStop club member?
Uh-uh-uh! No upsells,
please. And they'd just keep like
uh-uh-uh! I was very
clear. That's what you have to do.
I like when i bought my big
tv the same one kyle has when they're like do you want the extended warranty on the tv
it would protect you from if you poured water on it it's like if i pour water on this tv i deserve
to have to buy a new tv yeah exactly yeah i never get extended warranties for absolutely anything
a lot of times i hear about people getting fucked over anyway when they try to
like, hey, it turned out
good thing I got that extended warranty.
I was making sandwiches with your iron
that I purchased and
damn if it didn't short out.
What do you mean it's not made
for making sandwiches?
I know it's an iron.
You hung up on me.
Son of a bitch.
Yeah, you never buy into that stuff.
They try to sell you in finance.
The wheel and tire protection.
We would sell...
For $200.
For $200.
I'd say this thing where I etched your window glass.
Alright.
We're going to put a number on all the glass in your fucking Ford Focus
in case an international band of window glass thieves target your Ford Focus
and steal $500 worth of glass out of your Ford Focus,
then you can come back.
You can bring the police to us,
and we'll give them the number that we're totally gonna write down and
not forget all about after you leave and they'll be able to track down the ford focus glass being
kept at their international glass stealing ring headquarters amongst all the other ford focus
window glass that they're stealing and we'll get it they'll be able to get it back to you really
really you might give me 200 and i'm gonna i'm gonna rub some shit on your glass though let's and they'll be able to get it back to you. Really?
Really?
How about you give me $200 and I'm going to rub some shit on your glass though.
Let's do that.
It was literally like...
Such a scam.
I did it a couple of times,
but I don't even remember how it worked.
It looked like a piece of blue masking tape
that you would put in the bottom corner of someone's glass
and then you'd rub this stuff on the back of it
that was acid
and it would only eat through the portion of the masking tape that had the numbers cut out of it so
the the acid would etch the glass but but that's kind of cool even as 19 year old me i was like
this isn't a lamborghini all right like like how much could ford focus glass cost like like like i don't even lock it you know
like this precaution seems overkill the locking tire lugs that was the other one like like like
i don't remember what those cost but it may have been fifty dollars may have been a hundred dollars
but it was just like one lug for each wheel that that they had they had to use that special like
insert key to unlock them and it's like dude again ford focus like this is not
i could see if you had like big 20 inch spinning rims on this thing if you had an eight thousand
dollar set of wheels on your car like it would matter. But nobody's stealing these fucking wheels off your car.
But yeah, I'll take your money, I guess.
What bothered me a lot about it was the way I could tell he was lying
and he was hoping I wouldn't catch on to the fact that he was lying.
Where he'd try and gish gallop me with a bunch of facts and things about some warranty
and then I'd have to be like yeah yeah
but i'm gonna if i say no to that the honda warranty it's still in place right like the one
from the manufacturer that's still there and he would like go out of his way to be like well but
the other thing you need to consider is like he wouldn't just say yes of course not he wouldn't
say yes of course the honda power whatever warranty is gonna is gonna be in effect it was just like
a couple minutes into that
where you realize oh
he's lying to me because
he has no respect for my intelligence
like you just shut him down
and it's like dude you do this
every day to a bunch of fucking rubes
who just fell off an apple cart
like I'm not falling for your shit
like
I know you have more experience than anyone with this, Kyle,
at least among the three of us, but
good lord, did you notice
I'm shiting those
fucking finance people?
I took one look at you.
Tip-topping
on your way to Captain Barberhead.
If anything, you should have been able to assume
I could move pencils with my mind mind that's what you should think but yeah it just like did you notice
like a different level of skeeviness between the salesman themselves and the finance people
or was it all just kind of a thing it's a different thing because it's different products. And it's a different sort of approach because it's like the,
the salesman is like trying to pick a girl up and like get the girl to go on a
date with him.
But the finance guy already has the girl in bed.
So the salesman is trying to get the girl into a bed.
The finance guy is trying to get in her ass.
He's got her in the bed.
He's trying to get one more step.
He's got her in the bed. We've definitely got
straight sex.
But if I could get in her butt.
If I could just get in her butt.
Maybe I could bring out some sort of
thing with a quarter
horsepower engine on it or something.
Yeah, it used to be a chainsaw,
but now it's just got a whole bunch of tongues around it
instead of a blade.
So come on, it'll be cool.
That's the main difference
is because the finance guy already has you
in what's called the box.
It's usually like a whole separate room.
Yeah, it's a whole office.
Yeah, you're in there now
and it's a heavy door usually.
The finance guy isn't selling a product.
He's usually just trying to fuck you by selling you nothing. He sells a lot of nothing. He sells a lot of
little additional things. And there's a front end of a deal and a back end of a deal. The front end
is everything that happens outside that box and the back end is everything that happens inside
that box. And different people get paid different percentages of each of those halves of the deal.
And different people get paid different percentages of each of those halves of the deal.
Obviously, the salesman gets a lot on the front end, very little on the back end.
And the inverse is true for the finance guy.
He might get a tiny bit of the front end, but he gets most of the back end because they're doing the appropriate amounts of work for either part of the deal. But yeah, the finance guy, he's selling things like wheel and tire protection, all sorts of road hazard
protection.
Yeah, roadside assistance.
Trying to hit me up with that.
He'll sell you services
like that.
Sometimes he'll include things like
in the, well, they put satellite
radio and everything now like standard
and give you free six months, but it wasn't always like that.
He'll say all kinds of little upgrades, all sorts of little additional things that you really don't need almost ever.
It's very rare that you need any of those things.
Locking, gas caps, all sorts of warranties, essentially.
That's his big thing is warranties.
all sorts of warranties, essentially.
That's his big thing is warranties.
And finance, you know, like getting you into a deal that gets him a little more interest, you know?
Like if he can sell a couple points of interest to you
that he doesn't have to, you know, that's definitely in his best.
You know, sometimes I would sell people not on the price of the car,
but on the payment per month.
They would just agree to that. Well, that's a smart way to do it, I would think, because it the price of the car, but on the payment per month. They would just agree to that.
Well, that's a smart way to do it, I would think, because it's easier for people to digest.
It's a dumb thing to sign.
What can you afford?
I just want my payments to be $400 a month, man.
If I could do that, we could make this happen.
Really?
What's your down payment?
I could do $8,000.
If you could do $10,000, I think we could make $400 a month work.
I never said how many months.
A hundred months.
Get in there and it's 72 months.
I said, wait a minute, 72 times 400 plus 10.
It was an $8,000 car, Martha.
An $8,000 car.
It's like a Charlton Heston on the beach moment.
You blow it up!
I liked
when, what was it he said?
He was like, if you sign up for
this 96 month
or 96,000 mile warranty
or something, if you
don't like it,
30 days from now, you can come back
in and cancel it.
And in my head, I'm like, so you're saying if I total this car in the next 30 days and bring it back and I'm not satisfied with the way you handle it, then I could cancel what I was going to pick?
What?
You just get a new car every month.
This doesn't make any sense.
None of this makes any sense, sir.
I didn't say that because I was trying to get out of there.
That is the most frustrating thing about the car buying process.
That was the first car I've ever bought.
And good Lord, they hold you hostage.
The whole, ah, you know, and this was the salesman in the front office side of it where I'm like,
it's like, what do you think is fair?
I said this.
And he's like, I don't know about that.
I got to go talk to my office manager.
And then he'd leave for like 10 minutes.
And it's like, do you think I'm retarded that you're actually talking to your office manager?
I can see you through the window.
Not doing that.
Buttering up some other guy who you're going to sell a car.
Come on.
Like, at least go into another room and have a coffee.
I don't know.
I was still going to give him 10s because he kept it quick for me for the most part
until it got to the end.
And that seems to be the recurring theme, Kyle.
They give it,
they keep it quick
and I made it very clear the whole car buying,
test driving, everything processed.
Like I want to get in and out.
I want to make this done.
And once they have that hook in your lip,
then everything takes fucking forever.
Yeah, there's ways to get around that.
I wish you could...
Can I go...
What if you lined it up?
What if you said,
if I walk back out the door at 4 p.m.,
you get 10s?
Would that work?
No.
I didn't even know there was a survey
until after I'd done everything.
And then he started texting me.
You never know how valuable that survey is for an individual or,
or like what,
or why he's asking for it.
He probably doesn't,
it probably doesn't actually affect his pay as much as it affects his boss's
pay.
And his boss leans on him to get it done.
Um,
the,
the way to really speed the process up is to do every,
have everything done before you get there to have already agreed on a price. You can do that. There are third-party places like CarMax where you can kind of agree
on the price before you can go in. And then there are certain manufacturers, I think Lexus does this,
where you can set everything up beforehand and you've already agreed on a price. And what you
can do with any dealership is you can just call and ask for a manager and speak to them and get everything straightened out
beforehand. Agree on a price over the phone
a lot of the times. Sometimes
I should say, we wouldn't
do that necessarily
unless you had some sort of relationship
with a manager where you knew you weren't just
literally sitting there with a phone book and being
like, okay,
Monster Joe's Ford said
$27,000. Click. Joe's Ford said 27,000.
Click.
Big Pete said 26.
Click.
And just like shopping.
I'm pitting two pig dealers against each other.
Exactly. And then we had like an internet department, BDC, Business Development Center.
And if you called in on one of our advertisements from the newspaper,
you got one of these schmucks who weren't real salesmen.
They were just all like they had failed at sales.
So now they,
they just worked back there.
It was always reach.
It was interesting.
What caused them to be rejects of the sales department?
One guy had the worst bad breath ever.
Like it was literally why he couldn't sell cars.
It was so bad.
Tell him.
Oh,
we told him.
We told him. Yeah, yeah him yeah yeah yeah no no and he
worked hard at trying to keep it away but he couldn't really yeah oh he was cursed he was my
he was my i was good friends with this guy he was a black guy he was he was uh maybe 25 at the time
um and uh and he would always slip me deals because he knew i would fucking close them whereas
like like he's giving you a girl who's been roofied.
All right.
This analogy going,
I like where your head's at.
He's giving you a girl who's been,
she showed up with,
with no panties on and,
and she's just looking for it.
And let's skip past the whole felony part.
She showed up,
she showed up ready to go.
And,
and,
and he's already
serviced her a little bit. You guys are
close though, so you don't mind.
And he's passing her
off to you. He's already
made sure the deal is
pretty much 80% done. All you have
to do is not ejaculate
in your pants or anything. Why would he do this?
That's his job. Oh. Okay oh okay i misunderstood i thought he was your equivalent negative he these are the people who
have failed at sales and they have been put in the business development center they answer phones all
day long and and like like they get a huge amount of volume the salesman we're getting our ups or
customers from the door.
We're sitting there waiting on you. And we, and it may just look like a bunch of guys sitting in
random seating order, but we all know the order I'm next. And then he's next. And then he's next.
And if I can get back here fast enough, I'll be next again. You know, there, there's a,
there's an order, you know, we're not standing in line like this, but we all know what the order is.
They're back there taking massive volume from phone calls.
And they're quickly like, they've got their, it's just their telemarketers, essentially.
They've got their sales pitches.
They've got the numbers in front of them that they can offer people.
And usually they've already agreed on a price.
And it's my job to sort of upsell, sell extras, get more gross on the deal, and do the paperwork.
They're supposed to go by an order.
It's Kyle's turn.
If they start noticing that every time they give Katrina a deal, she fucks it up.
Then she accuses two people of sexual harassment.
Then she goes and gets drunk in the parking lot.
Maybe they don't want to give Katrina a deal.
This is a real person and real things that happen.
But if they notice that Kyle has closed five out of 10 deals, which is pretty good, I guess.
Let's give him a deal.
We got a 50 50 shot here.
This is just done deal here if we just give it to Kyle.
And so he would always give his deals to me.
Also, I think I would pay him to. Did I i pay him off i paid a couple of them off so he gave me his
deals either way and uh but he had this shit mouth he had level 10 like not on the phone he didn't
it smelled like like actual doo-doo it smelled like feces in the man's mouth hole. He had shit mouth and it was awful.
And he had a big butt.
I told him right away because I felt like he needs to know.
I was in man.
Privately, I was like, your breath's real bad, dude.
It's real bad.
He's like, for real?
He didn't know.
For real?
He's like like how bad
I was like 10 out of 10 man
it's rough it's rough you gotta get you a bottle of scope
you know like mouthwash
and he's like alright I'll do that and so then
he had it at his desk the big daddy bottle
that was before we knew
he had a half it was before we knew about smart mouth
he had a half gallon of shit back there
and before like he'd be like Kyle
customers here I was like alright let's go
let's go get him and He'd be like, Kyle, customer's here. I was like, all right, let's go get him.
And he'd be like,
how's my breath?
I'm like, you're good.
Let's go.
Okay, it's still pretty rough.
I'm not going to lie.
It smells like I put scope on dude.
I immediately vomit all over Katrina's desk.
She's going to tell him about this i think is that a hate crime this isn't like uh have you heard of tonsil stones
no it sounds awful though it's like these things that you can get in your tonsils and it's just
like little bits of food and shit that get trapped in your
tonsils for this already because all your tonsils are is like like two lumpy things to try and keep
like too much bacteria and stuff coming from your mouth all right and if you have like really deep
crevices in those apparently it'll just accumulate a bunch of shit until you get like these white
pearly balls of of terrible smelling things yeah and uh maybe that's what
he had no it's real gross the way they say to get rid of them is to use like a q-tip or something
to try and like scrape them out of there but you don't want to swallow them because that would
probably be like a possible you mean the q-tips you don't want to swallow the q-tips no the
i know i know yeah but you don't want to swallow q-tips either You don't want to swallow the Q-tips? No. I know. You don't want to swallow Q-tips either.
That's not on the box.
No.
Nope.
Technically, they're not allowed to tell you they're for cleaning your ears out.
Yeah.
We were joking about that.
Which that's all I use them for, honestly, is to make sure my ears are nice and spiky.
And my pee hole.
Not me.
I clean up very small spills.
Yeah.
Very small spills.
Oh, no.
Every time somebody cries, i'm right there oh
i wipe the not tears the tear from their eye
yeah uh yeah car sales is a is pretty fucked up thing but but you know you can get around all that
stuff get around the salesman and everything
If somebody just came in
And it happened a lot
Where the boss would be like
Hey, this guy's already signed up
Just do his paperwork
Prices agreed upon
And you just stamp everything out
If you just agree on the price before you come in
And it's kind of
Well in like seven years when I buy a new car
I'll do that
and you can just get your own financing too and you avoid that finance guy completely
oh no no i didn't get financing through the dealership
but he arranged a third party um financial institution for you right
i did it through my credit union yeah oh okay yeah just because like
it took no time at all that way and i was like already in there doing stuff and they're like hey
this is way cheaper than what you can probably get through that and i was like okay oh yeah i
would have shopped them still because what what he can do is he can he can run obviously they've
got every financial institution under their son, under the sun at their fingertips.
And they can literally call those guys up.
Uh,
and they can run all of your pertinent information,
the vehicle information,
and they can provide you with the best rate possible while still making some
money on you.
Of course,
most of the time,
but,
but they'll,
they'll break even or make no money on the finance.
If you've, if they've already sold a car, you know what I mean? So like, like, like they'll but they'll they'll break even or make no money on the finance if you've if they've
already sold a car you know what i mean so like like they'll they'll they'll negotiate with sun
trust and we used to work with sun trust a lot and then just be like can we get 2.5 if you get
this 2.5 then all the payments work and they're like we're not making anything at 2.5 ronnie just
give me 2.5 all right all right fine we're not making a fucking dime here
he's got an 800 so come on
and you know
and then some people would come in with a check
you know just from their credit union they've already
agreed on everything
that sort of when they've got a check from their
credit union it's not like they can add another
$560 to that bitch
so it's like fuck he's got us
my boss would be like he's got us.
My boss would be like,
he's got his check, bro. Keep going.
Yeah, right.
There's other checks.
See if he's got any cash.
You guys want to call it a show?
Head to dinner?
Yeah. Yeah.
BKN 256.