Painkiller Already - PKN #273

Episode Date: November 22, 2019

It's PKN time baby! ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 pkn 273 taylor was starting to rant about his pc delivery and i didn't want you guys to miss it sixteen hundred dollar pc all the bells and whistles gonna be nice that doesn't include the the wonderful all the shit i bought off amazon i've had for almost a month now amazon's good that way yeah i've got my uh both of my, my Naga Razor, whatever the fuck it is. Mouse. Yeah, the mouse. I played a little bit of Age of Mythology on this thing last night with that, and it worked good. It's a little...
Starting point is 00:00:33 I haven't figured out the buttons on the side yet, but it's got these optional pads on the side where you can lower the amount of buttons. Can you hold that closer to the camera? Yeah. So that's like something like the side panel on it you got this one and this one which is even smaller just two buttons and then there's one that's currently on there with like nine or ten different digits but it might be basically i was like yeah yeah i think it is 12. i got home from doing today fully expecting fully expecting to see a nice pc sitting on my front porch why is there something significant about today that made you
Starting point is 00:01:15 think today it's just been a long time day 12. okay they said seven on their own goddamn website that oh if you order uh just one piece blah blah blah this blah blah blah if you order a constructed pc without monitors just the pc itself the longest it'll take is 12 business days well i actually redid the math this is business day 13 because i ordered it on it well i guess let's be fair it was an evening on friday and so that doesn't count as a business day so this is really business day 12 i just went in and checked and it's not supposed to get here until friday and if it comes around to friday and it's not here i'm gonna i'm gonna have to do something drastic they're putting me in a self-defense situation
Starting point is 00:02:01 i gotta stay on my ground here. What's drastic? I'm gonna have to go to PowerPC headquarters, wherever it is, and stand my ground. Have you called them at all? No. I was waiting until the 12th day and I'm gonna call them. I think they're closed by now. I should have done that a few minutes ago. Oh, they're West Coast. Oh shit, then I can
Starting point is 00:02:21 call right after this and try and get them. I went to the UPS thing, the tracking details, and it says by end of day on the 15th which is friday it says it's in transit but god i shouldn't have shut the oh it's shit let's see i don't know the calling them is worthwhile i mean yeah i ordered it at on october 25th. It says the quality. That feels so long ago. Yeah. Dude, by the time it shows up this Friday, that will be four full fucking weeks. Because you ordered it on Friday and they measure it in business days.
Starting point is 00:02:55 It really racks up the days. They could have tied carrier pigeons to this and sent it here faster than the goddamn USPS or whatever the fuck. Or UPS. And so a little timeline here, 25th I order it, 28th the warehouse date, the 9th, three days ago was the quality control date. So it was just sitting there, nothing, forever. I called those people and they like moved me
Starting point is 00:03:24 to the front of the queue and like made things happen like because i kept having these service i thought you used a slightly different one or something i used i buy power this last time um and uh because because the whole gpu thing you know the gpu market was was a problem because everybody was mining bitcoin and uh but i buy power had like a standard no float on them, so they were good to go. Well, next in four years when I buy another PC, I'm going to look at it. By the time it gets here, it's going to be old tech.
Starting point is 00:03:55 In real life, NVIDIA announced new cards in the time that Taylor's been waiting for. They not announced they're available, but they're not that exciting. A couple more stream info things i've been talking to chiz more okay and chiz is saying over and over he's like taylor you know i love you but your ban from twitch is a when or not an if you know that with the the jokes you make and the impressions in which some people think those are racist can you believe that
Starting point is 00:04:21 and outrageous he was saying he thinks I should just do it on YouTube because apparently YouTube streaming, you can do a lot more. You can joke around with a lot more loosey-goosey. And apparently there's still ways like Super Chats. I know what that is. That's like people pay to ask questions, and then they can subscribe to you the same way. And so I was texting Chiz, and he was, you know it isn't it funny when like you know nothing about a subject and someone
Starting point is 00:04:49 who does know a lot about that subject can send you like he sent me like three or four real long texts and as i'm reading it i'm like oh this makes a hundred million percent sense he's right and so i wanted to get your guys your guys a little input you. I know you're not as close to Twitch as Chiz is, but do you see a reason that going to YouTube would be a bad idea? No, you're going to get banned from Twitch if you go to Twitch. Yeah. Is he? I wonder how long it'll take me to get banned.
Starting point is 00:05:17 You won't get banned. You don't think so? No. You don't make jokes about... As soon as he explains to his chat that he's using the Naga mouse, well, the jokes are going to begin. Oh, no. Because the subsection of PKA that's going to come over to watch me is rough.
Starting point is 00:05:36 Is it MAGA reference? No, they're going to go N-word with it. Oh. You're going to go N-word with it. You're going to be like, you know what this brother mouse it's kind of lagging behind it's a little lazy we talk about sex stuff online now and then like that comes up pretty good there was a guy who i think he was goofing but he he was a cuck um i don't know I encourage people to try butt shit I don't know this is like it we don't hold back too much but there's not a lot of
Starting point is 00:06:09 race but do you put an 18 or older thing on your stream if I mean if I did it probably did a long time ago I have no idea yeah you probably have a lot of it wait protect it might protect you from some sexual like discussion and stuff but but Taylor's thing is gonna be be more political and um and it's going to be about some it's going to be racial or it's going to be about transgenders or it's going to be something like that he's going to crack some joke and it's not going to it's not like he's standing on some sort of podium like doing actual hate speech he's going to he's going to see an opportunity for a funny joke while he's playing games with us or somebody else and he's just gonna
Starting point is 00:06:45 and it's gonna be irresistible and it's just gonna be yeah it's not even his fault your honor yeah when you see a punch line there when someone sets you up just right and you're like it's it's hard not to to bite the voices themselves chis was saying like yeah dude going like this and talking about chinese people like that's not gonna fucking fly on twitch apparently not you know yeah i i haven't experienced it yet but people talk about getting banned on twitch for all kinds of things borderlands 3 had music that would be copyright they thought i was a great risk for that um there are a couple other things oh things said in the chat, right? Like, if you just don't moderate your chat hard enough.
Starting point is 00:07:28 I never felt responsible for my YouTube comments, for example, right? I'm not doing that. And I never felt responsible for my Twitch comments, but I guess sometimes you are. Yeah, well, like, Chiz helped enlighten me a little bit with that, where he's like, no, dude, you don't get, I even told him, like, this was a week or two ago when we were chatting and I'm like, I can be I'll be well behaved. I'll be OK on Twitch, you know, until I am not.
Starting point is 00:07:52 And then he's like, you don't get it. Your chat's going to get you banned. And I'm like, the P.K.A. listenership. They're not saying that ridiculous shit in the comments on on underneath the videos, you know underneath the pks themselves And he's like yeah, but you're forgetting that's the audience as a whole You're talking about the subsection of the listenership that wants to just watch you which is Probably gonna be a slightly different
Starting point is 00:08:19 More I I would I would strongly push it toward YouTube or maybe even Facebook, but definitely not Twitch. Yeah, I'm thinking YouTube. I still have a dead channel. That won't matter. We'll direct traffic to it for you. But whenever I stream, and I'm going to eventually, I'll either do Facebook or YouTube as well. I think it's just the way to go. What's interesting about Facebook is the sharing culture, right?
Starting point is 00:08:46 People might click like, but really YouTube is about the algorithm. You know, getting discovered outside of just your existing audience is about YouTube deciding you're someone they want to show someone else, algorithmically, but you know, YouTube. On Facebook, people share you,
Starting point is 00:09:01 and it's like part of the culture. They click share, they show it to other people, you ask for it, they of the culture they click share they show it to other people you ask for they do it every time you click like I see oh my friend Taylor just liked a thing I wonder if I like that thing something about Facebook is just built to make stuff go viral whereas twitch and YouTube and I guess mixer they don't seem designed to share all the time. Are you going to give Facebook streaming a go? Me? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:09:29 I don't even know that I'm going to be a big streamer ever. I just pop in every now and then when the weather's too windy and we're not doing the show. It's windy today. I don't know about what it's like up there. It's like a... I didn't lose power or anything, but although my heater is out
Starting point is 00:09:45 my heater's not working i've been using this yeah i've been using the fireplace which i actually enjoy but there's only you know just a big common room now is that which is like the kitchen and the walk entryway and the my living room that's all toasty as but this room i'm in right now there's this is not a decorative jacket. Is it a stove kind of fireplace or the literal open sort of pull air? No, it's gas. It's not wood. I don't like dealing with the wood, honestly.
Starting point is 00:10:19 We have both. But in our living room, we have a stove that pumps out a lot of heat and i don't like the heat the noise of it the fan like it for it to be effective at all you have to have a fan and i just swear we've spent like a couple years where it almost gives like my stress level goes from zero to two just entering that room with the fan blowing i don't like it and if it gets too cold i'll if it gets too cold i'll just drag my propane burner that that i cook turkeys on right into my bedroom and just let that burn
Starting point is 00:10:50 all night that sounds smart and you get turkey at the end of it i don't know why you're not um deep frying in the house that seems like a generator i'm already going to be the whole house will reek of fried turkey forever delightfully what's the downside no i'm saying that's a great feature i'm actually doing that tonight like i'm cooking thanksgiving tonight like a tester thanksgiving and uh i've got myself a turkey i've got the the giblet gravy simmering um i already ripped the neck out of the turkey which is my least favorite part and uh i've had my turkey uh sitting in, what do you call it? Brining,
Starting point is 00:11:25 brining all day and like Cajun spices and vegetables and stuff. Was the turkey already dead? Cause I'm, you know, Woody's slaughterhouse. We'll get them eventually. That's our motto. It was definitely already dead.
Starting point is 00:11:38 All right. Yeah. So that's going to be fucking, I'm looking forward to that. It's going to take me several hours to get everything cooked, but I enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and cooking cooking it and i like rubbing it in my mother's face that like because she always complains he's like i hope y'all appreciate all this work i do this is hard work and i'm just like i love cooking thanksgiving for everybody
Starting point is 00:11:56 and then just that's not the kind of attitude i want in the provider of my thanksgiving meal and the provider of my Thanksgiving meal. I want my grandma's warm, happy face slaving away from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. Because after the turkey's done, the tenderloin and the crab legs still need to be made. You had one turkey, yes, but what about second turkey? I love hearing Taylor talk about his grandparents. I hope they live forever, Taylor. Oh, me too. I love my a tailor talk about his grandpa I hope they live forever
Starting point is 00:12:25 Taylor oh I love my grandparents so much there's a kind of sweetest love them almost as much they sound delightful but uh how have you guys gotten any snow yet we got our first snow yesterday it's no it's very don't get snow every year yeah I figured Georgia that but I figured North Carolina. For some reason, I figured Georgia that, but I figured North Carolina might get snow. We have mountains, and in those mountains, they'll catch some snow, but in actual Georgia,
Starting point is 00:12:54 like Atlanta, Georgia, maybe it was three years ago when we got literally... It wasn't an inch. It was not an inch. And it shut Atlanta down. They were comparing the photos of like atlanta with the photos of atlanta in the walking dead because i remember that that was a good me exactly they was the snowmageddon or whatever they called it it was stupid it was embarrassing you know that
Starting point is 00:13:15 photo of the traffic backed up from like a quarter inch of snow and there's a fire yeah that's that's normal that's a few miles from me. That's 440 in the same county that I live in. We're not good at snow here. I used to blame it on southern driving ineptitude, just the lack of talent in driving in snow, but I don't anymore. It's actually a lot harder here.
Starting point is 00:13:42 You go up north, they lay down salt. And also the kind of snow that you get is snow. Like if anyone's done any good amount of driving in the snow condition, you're like, ooh, this is ice, ice is a problem, this is slush, this is a problem. And you almost save your braking for when there's some like soft, crunchy snow.
Starting point is 00:13:59 That soft, crunchy snow isn't here. It's just ice and slush all over the place. And it's genuinely hard to drive in. And it's not salted and it's not sanded. We don't have that kind of equipment. There's no salt in this state. Like that's, well, maybe we have mountains like Kyle does too. Maybe up there it's better.
Starting point is 00:14:16 But here, like when we got lots of snow, we got two feet of snow one time, like 15, 20 years ago. They moved it with like a front end loader. Like you would a highway dirt. They moved it with like a front end loader, like you would a highway dirt. They scoop forward a foot, and then they back the truck up, and they bring it sideways,
Starting point is 00:14:32 and they take it off the side of the road, and pour the little front end loader down, then they come forward again, and they get another foot. They didn't have the road scrape, or the road snow plow, or anything like that. They didn't have the proper equipment.
Starting point is 00:14:43 It wouldn't be a good investment, probably, because it doesn't even snow every year here, and when it does, it's one, two inches. Oh, shoveling snow here. I've said this before so quickly. You don't have to do a good job. It's great. You just do a shitty job, and the rest melts away.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Yep. See, that's what I'm upset about, is I was driving home from shit today, and because of the, like the woods I live near and the direction my house faces, like I was, I was driving through the neighborhood to get to my house and I'm looking around and everybody's, you know,
Starting point is 00:15:15 driveways, it's all melted already. And it's clear that it wasn't like all just scraped off. Like it was melted throughout the day. And I'm like, all right, maybe I'll get to my house and it'll be no, like I'm the only house with a bunch of fucking snow still on there so i'm gonna have to probably go
Starting point is 00:15:29 out after this and shovel because that's a pain in the ass i almost i was trying to pull up into my driveway and my driveway's a little steep and my car started sliding backwards and so i just ended up parking on the road i thought i was going to get, I was driving behind a terrible driver yesterday as it was snowing. And they were going like, you know how like even in the snow, it's like, yeah, you can go 60 miles an hour on the highway.
Starting point is 00:15:55 It's pretty fine. I got behind someone who was in the left lane going like 38. And I was like, what the fuck is this retard doing? And then I saw South Carolina license plate. And so I knew for my own safety, I had to get around them and just speed up because they were just doing,
Starting point is 00:16:10 it's more dangerous going that slow than it is just going the speed limit because somebody is going to end up creeping up on you, especially if you're in the fucking left lane. What are you thinking? And they're going to try and break and they're going to fishtail and cause some chain reaction. So snow is, now that I don't get off school snow sucks ass
Starting point is 00:16:27 i want nothing to do with it my dogs seem to like it a lot do you ever think about going to a different part of the country that thing uh see the thing is like if yeah if i've lived in a different part of the country it wouldn't be like florida or california i would want to go somewhere like colorado where they have skiing and mountains like that that would be my you know fun kind of physical environment of choice just being able to like one day in january or december be like you know what i'm fucking going skiing boom i'm there having lived in the northeast it's not the cold weather that makes winter hard although i don't like cold weather it's the gray skies and i don't know if it's true but my vision of colorado is cold but
Starting point is 00:17:11 blue skies you know a kind of dry more enjoyable cold if such a thing exists like kyle you're smiling are you thinking something i'm not allowed to share what i'm looking at i'm sorry okay i wasn't going to say anything out loud but I inadvertently I could not is it related to me in some way no no you got me thinking oh I have a social interaction I want you guys to weigh in on nice so I'm getting a new asphalt driveway put in it's in now but this is from a few days ago. And as I pull up, there's a guy in a 10-wheel dump truck. That's like the standard size thing you might get mulch delivered in.
Starting point is 00:17:52 It's a big, you know, you see them on the highways. All right. The road in front of my house, it's two lanes. It's one lane each way. And this guy is parked in such a way in front of my house that he's blocking both sides, which you almost have to do on purpose. Like in my head, there's a special, I don't give a fuck, to block both sides of the road. And he's doing it at a spot where there's a low hanging tree.
Starting point is 00:18:18 And it means like you can't even drive around him on the grass. You're just really stuck. All right. So I pull up and I'm just trying to go home. I'm not in a bad mood or anything. I'm not like, you know, looking edging for a fight or anything like that. I'm just like, whatever. And I, I wait like, I don't know, a minute and a half, two minutes. And, uh, he, I'm, I'm getting a vibe of him that is fuck you, right? Like I'm parking my truck here. fuck you right like i'm parking my truck here i'm in no hurry to move i can see that you're trying to get by but that's really a you problem not a me problem this is the body language i'm
Starting point is 00:18:52 getting from this driver because i'm like looking at him like like you know like asking for some sort of sign that he like you can see that you're blocking both lanes in this road right you know the white people like purse lips like right so um i i get out of my truck and i walk up to him and uh and i asked him now this is what the fuck do you think you're doing it's funny you said that because this is the thing about me i literally don't do loud and nice as a combo very well like I I don't know I'm retarded I don't know how to friend I just if I yell it I want it I wish I had it I can't so much as like I've had it before right like a waitress doesn't bring us bread and I'm like I want to say hey can we have bread but it's
Starting point is 00:19:45 always can we have bread like because so dumb whore right now he's running his diesel truck and he's like I don't know how he's high in the air because he's in a big truck and I ask him like you know hey can you move and I wish I had gone with like a few extra words that made it nicer like you know how much longer or whatever but i was like can you move and of course it comes across a little meaner than i'm that i'm targeting because i'm an idiot and uh uh he says no bam right and i'm like all right so like can we talk about a timeline here or something? And then he starts explaining to me that if he tries to move this truck, there are people nearby the truck that he will kill and he's unwilling to kill them for me. And it's just like, let's not
Starting point is 00:20:38 in my heart of hearts, you're being a bit of a drama queen, like you know like this is not a life or death situation we could in fact ask these people to move and and you know he doesn't know it but everyone's here working for me like that's what i'm hoping that we get get back around to that and uh uh so you know he's like you know no i'm not gonna move i'm not gonna i'm not willing to kill all these people and something else. And it went back and forth a little more. I can't recount every word for it. But I'm trying to be cool.
Starting point is 00:21:11 And I just feel like he's twisting the knife with the big fuck you in every sentence he says. Sounds like it. So I'm like, hey, you don't have to be a dick. I'm just asking when you're able to move. And he's like, don't call me a dick. I was like, I didn't call you a dick dick I said you didn't have to be a dick and he's like well they're all eventually comes out that they're almost done filling his truck up with what was my old driveway and it's like cool so I'll just wait
Starting point is 00:21:39 there's a couple more bucket loads and that'll be that. But as I'm headed back to my truck, he goes, go back to your truck. Like, did you murder this man? Like, I thought about PK in, you're like, so here his body is.
Starting point is 00:21:55 I was like, my driveway's got a big lump. One point. I'm just like, like, I'm not looking for a fight, but he seems to be. And if he wants one, I'm here for for a fight, but he seems to be.
Starting point is 00:22:07 And if he wants one, I'm here for you. That's in my thought process. I know I'm too old to be fighting, right? He's older than me and he's being a bigger dick than me, in my heart of hearts. So I walk back. I'm like, what did you say? Genuinely not knowing what he said. But then he explains.
Starting point is 00:22:25 He says, I told you to go back to your truck. i'm like what the fuck is wrong with you like at this point i'm no longer putting a pretense of like trying to be the nicer one or like that's all done i'm done with the you know like hey good sir how much longer will you be blocking we're in full blue boy woody yeah we're full blue boy woody right he's acted like he owns this road by the way fun fact i literally own this road it is mine i bought it with fucking cash four years ago my property extends to this road and he's parked on it like an asshole so uh uh you know he's like go back to your truck and i'm like fuck you i don't know what the fuck you think you're doing but fuck you and that's when the contractor who's doing the
Starting point is 00:23:07 asphalt comes around and he's like what is happening here and the guy's like he called me a dick and I said I didn't call you a dick I said you didn't have to be a dick and that still rings true right now and the contractor is super nice the guy that's like doing it and uh he's talking to the the guy and he's like hey you know like why is this happening and uh the driver goes you know fuck that guy i don't work for him and uh i was about to lay out like you work for me and you're parked on my road but i didn't go there i just thought it and the guy's like what do you let's not bother with this uh you know like and he kind of diffuses everything really cool and then later he called that guy's
Starting point is 00:23:51 boss and sort of laid out like am I a dick here am I the asshole no this would have gone so much more hardcore with me oh I'm mad now like what was he just do you think he was just being lazy coming up with excuses so he didn't have to do it i think he was i tried to put myself in the tiniest modicum of power that is afforded to a big rig truck driver that's that's what my head that's where i think it was i think he saw me walk over and decided before i even talked to him like fuck this guy i'm not moving an inch you know i'm blocking the road and it's a two-lane road like like i said you almost have to try to block both sides of it there's i don't know why he did it i don't know why he did it and um and the to me where it really stepped from am i the asshole to
Starting point is 00:24:43 he's definitely the asshole was when he told me to go back to my truck yep right i was walking back to my truck there was a perfect opportunity not to say anything right there it was i was done with it and and if anything i think up to that point maybe he had been the bigger asshole right like you know he could have been like yeah i told him you know but instead he had to say, go back to your truck. And that's when I was like, I'll go wherever this heads. You know, I'm down. And I could have fucked that guy up.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Yeah, this guy's a bitch and I hate him. So you're definitely in the right chair. I really wish you'd beaten that guy up. It's probably more trouble. Like, it's probably not how you actually want it on the Internet. That's fun to say. In real life, what would I be doing right now if i had beaten that guy up explaining yourself to a jury no no no absolutely not no you're on your property
Starting point is 00:25:33 your honor he said go back to your truck you can't we all know there's a code right now you let him hit you push him in that direction i didn't realize the piping hot asphalt is where his face would land him in that direction i didn't realize the piping hot asphalt is where his face would land in my defense i think he looks cool looks hardcore it's kind of like the thing like mike tyson but branded instead of tattooed yeah and not not rich or famous or more like cricket from it's always sunny yeah i don't know why that guy pushed it so far like i don't know i i can't imagine what was going on his head i have to think that like i feel like he tried to alpha me and uh and i even halfway let him until it was until he went with the go back to your truck
Starting point is 00:26:19 thing then it was it might be one of those things where he wasn't seriously thinking you would come back at him for a second salvo, where he would go, hey, can you move? And he goes, no. And he probably thought that's where it would end. But he'd already dug in in his no. And so when you kept pushing, he's like, I'm not going to look like a bitch who just gets talked down. I'm going to make this into a big to-do. No one in their right mind escalates to, everyone here is going to die.
Starting point is 00:26:51 If I move this truck. Clearly, he was just trying to stick with his initial shitty position. I've seen scenarios like this, and the truck driver got beaten up, and I was hoping that's where this was going. I was going there. I wonder where it would have gone if the contractor wasn't there because at the go back to your truck, I think he even did one of these like shooing hand motions along with it. I feel I'd have been like, get this guy. I don't want, I was ready to cancel the whole show. Like that's where I'm going. Like, like, like I'm getting so
Starting point is 00:27:22 mad listening to you explain it. I'm like, well, for one thing, the entire job is done now. It's over. They're all leaving. And we're going to have a dispute in court over if they get paid for what they've done. This guy's a subcontractor that delivers and hauls away assholes. Doesn't matter. Until they fire him and get it. I want him to dump.
Starting point is 00:27:42 He has to dump that shit out right there. He's fired. And somebody else has to come in a different truck from a different company and pick that shit up. See, here's an area where I feel like I've had some professional success. Where like there's a certain responsibility not to be too big in it.
Starting point is 00:27:57 I don't wanna get a truck driver fired, right? Like. Oh yeah, you do. You needed a good firing. I think, so my contractor called his boss and he described the conversation. He's like, he had only seen that guy one time before. So I don't want to judge my contractor by it. That's angry Mike.
Starting point is 00:28:13 What? That's just how he is. And he's like, you know, I laid out for him how the thing went. He got it a little wrong. He's like, I told him that he called you a dick. That's not exactly how it went, but okay. You can go with that side of the story.
Starting point is 00:28:26 And the contractor and I get along really well, so I think that he would be, I can't imagine, what are you getting into a fracas like this? Every flight. Yeah, anyway, so the guy just tried to like super alpha me, and it was the go back to your truck where i had decided like well i'll go wherever i'm so mad now this is gonna ruin my evening i've been playing more call of duty i um what so when i played with kyle i was bad and i i've come
Starting point is 00:29:00 to like sort of like evaluate players right now? Now there's good players like Shroud who are just amazingly good. Me at my best, I could walk into a team that was losing, right, say they're down like 100 to 125 in Dom, and be like, all right, first order of business, take out these killstreaks from this guy, then we're gonna turn this thing around, and I could make a team win.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Not every time, but oftentimes. Now, where I've advanced to compared to when i play with kyle is if i'm on a good team i have good games i am part of the win uh if i'm on a bad team i might go negative uh i might go even if i'm having like a good game on it. I can't make a difference, but I'm not a freaking anchor the way that I was. We won most of our games, and it was like just, we had some two or three dominant guys at the top of the scoreboard,
Starting point is 00:29:53 and there, me at the bottom, you know, going three and 11. We're past that. Not saying I'm good, but I'm not an anchor. And by the way, kudos to your friends. Everybody was super cool in spite of my performance and i thought that was yeah yeah nobody's nobody's a jerk in that group i don't i don't i don't like to play with people like that um you know nobody ever gets angry or rage quits
Starting point is 00:30:15 in my friend room because they're not assholes we lost some close games then we might have won with a random but instead we had me I think everybody appreciated your being there more than losing a game or two nobody cares if they lose a game or two I don't know what my win loss ratio is I'm sure it's more than one
Starting point is 00:30:36 but I don't care if it's less than five I don't care what it is I don't give a fuck we're just having fun I've gotten better too I unlocked my golden mp5 today I'm going to fuck. I'm going to fuck. None of us do. I don't think. We're just having fun. I've gotten better, too. I unlocked my golden MP5 today. I'm enjoying that. We've been playing every night, and we have been using my camping strategy.
Starting point is 00:30:56 So what we do, we go into team deathmatch. You're doing it? Oh, yeah. Our current win streak is only 18, but we'll get 18 wins in a row and then lose one and then win 12 more and then go to bed. I think we've lost about six games in four nights of playing, something like that. It's a real bummer at this point when we lose one.
Starting point is 00:31:18 The whole big part of why we're camping so hard and being such assholes is we enjoy the other team screaming at us at the end of the match of course but if you do that and you lose it's a different kind of scream they're laughing at you now and and it hurts just a little bit but uh what we do is we lock down we've decided which building is best on every map at this point and we all six of us into that building right away claymores everywhere on every window trophy systems down to protect against any projectiles that might be coming in deployable
Starting point is 00:31:50 covers, which is it's like a it's an equipment. It's a field upgrade or whatever you call them. And you just throw down this like, like shield this metal barricade. And it fits. It perfectly fits doorways. So you can put it in a doorway like like if there's stairs leading up into your building you can put it mid stair stair so they can't just sprint into your building they have to come in climb over this little wall and then we're all just waiting at the top of the stairs and we all use kind of cod we use rpgs as our sec i use rps to my secondary in the end I keep refilling them and I'm not even I'm just shooting them around corners like like if I hear footsteps coming near the doorway
Starting point is 00:32:32 I'll go ahead and start blasting them down. So it gets splash damage and just kill them around the corner and We have some monster fucking games Middy's getting chopper gunners like every single game people quitting layer People people going fucking ape shit getting so goddamn mad we use the shotgun of course they've nerfed it for a second time last night i don't know how good the 725 yeah they've nerfed it twice now but i'm a big fan of the ak and the mp5 those are the good guns i don't know if i've opened the ak i'm about level 25 27 something like something like that. Yeah, it's 53. Okay. So I read this thing on Reddit about Call of Duty that was interesting to me.
Starting point is 00:33:11 The guy's like, I use the 725 all the time because I'm playing to have fun, not for other people to have fun. And it's like, yeah, you know, me too. There was a time when I was playing for YouTube footage where it's kind of like playing for other people to have fun. They want to see you dominate with an Uzi,
Starting point is 00:33:27 which is kind of hard to do. Not in an older COD. This one, it might be better. But now, like yeah, I'll just use whatever OP weapon, whatever class you think is bullshit, tell me about it. Because I could use that. Yeah, that's what we run. That's what we run.
Starting point is 00:33:42 The RPG, dude, that, when I'm holding an RPG, and I literally have only picked them up off the ground, but when I'm holding one and I want to kill people with it, that thing fires so slow. It takes so long to reload. You're unarmed most of the time. When I die to it, oh, that was such horseshit. Oh, my God, that thing's so easy to use.
Starting point is 00:34:01 What a cheat. At this point, I have dragon skin camo on my RPG. My RPG is glowing in the dark. I've gotten so many fucking kills with it. I use a perk that makes me reload them faster. The rate of fire is like, boom!
Starting point is 00:34:17 Boom! Boom! You get more than two rockets now? Well, one of us throws the trophy systems, it blocks the grenades. One of us throws the deployable cover that blocks the hallways, and the other throws down ammo boxes
Starting point is 00:34:30 so you can get more RPGs out of them. And it just, it's incredibly frustrating. This is winning me over on COD. Like if you can, if you're just hanging out in the house, upsetting people, I'm down. That's what we do. That's what we do. They get very upset.
Starting point is 00:34:43 I play a little bit. So I'm learning the maps better now like i literally couldn't find the same place twice when i when i played with kyle i started at level whatever below one is like i had no xp so i was learning the maps and everything now it's like all right you know this is the guy i have a smg or a shotgun so this is the way i should navigate the map i have a longer range gun i should stay out of like inside the building because somebody with a shotgun will rape me yeah i'm just learning the maps getting my i'm not good but i'm better than i was i don't know why people are getting upset about this game it is a great call of duty it's so much better than like modern warfare 3
Starting point is 00:35:17 like cods like that that were it just felt like you couldn't do anything like uh i play a good bit of hardcore if i'm playing by myself i play hardcore um but when we play as a team we play regular uh team deathmatch or uh domination or headquarters or something like that and we have a good time i've never liked hardcore i feel naked like but when you once you know the maps like like i like i play hardcore headquarters and hardcore domination and i flank a lot with like a sneaky class and when you get behind the enemy team or if you get in a good choke point where they have to run past you to get to the headquarters it's just just just destroying
Starting point is 00:35:56 it's very satisfying to kill four people at a time hardcore has a different meta and i've never been good at it right so i'll take like my regular classes I'm running like stopping power and hardcore or something and there's some guy who's like actually you know you want to run jug with a 1911 that's the that's the bomb for hardcore which I just made up it's probably not a lot of people run pistols and hardcore and just dominate because it's all you need right and and like there's the way that you might play the game when it takes four kills to die I'm sorry four shots to die is different than the way that you might play the game when it takes four kills to die i'm sorry four shots to die is different than the way you play the game if it took one or two shots to die
Starting point is 00:36:30 and if you're good at that meta i feel like you're the only person good at that meta and it makes you great at hardcore does that sound and and kill streaks are nutty too um that thing that i like i affectionately call the death buggy uh which is actually called the Whilson. It's a remote control car with a machine gun on top that's like the size of a big dog. You wheel that thing into a headquarters full of people in hardcore and
Starting point is 00:36:55 you see them try to run away. You run people over with it. You can crush people with it. It's great. Maybe even running the juggernaut kill streak. Have you seen it? i don't know what that is no you call in an airdrop i think and you open it and you are you don a juggernaut suit and you have a mini gun and rock music starts playing it's like nanananananana and you're just walking through sounds like titanfall
Starting point is 00:37:33 see here's the real question why would you run a different kill streak because it takes 15 kills to get it and they're gun kills like like you can't get you can't get like eight gun kills and then have a chopper get you you know six more you have to get 15 gun kills and then but all of a sudden you'll just you'll look and here comes a gunk, gunk, gunk. And I'm like, you got the suit? He's like, fuck yeah! Is everyone hearing the music? Only him.
Starting point is 00:37:55 I wish we all did. That'd be fun if your whole team was going. It'd probably be bad. Like a boombox. So if you get close to him. A couple things that helped me i'm open to the idea that skill-based matchmaking has made it a little more of a level playing field as opposed to i'll make it up like midi being the host or something um knowing the maps better unlocking better guns is a big part of it uh that that's helped a lot when i was i i tried to is it like
Starting point is 00:38:22 the eb14 what are the like it's not a sniper, but almost. Oh God, like a semi-auto like battle rifle type thing. I thought that'd be fun. Like, oh look, a sniper that's not so slow. Not unless you're Shroud. Dude, I can't hit with it. If you spam with it, every shot misses. It's outrageous.
Starting point is 00:38:39 Yeah, it's. And it's not, well for me anyway, it's not a predictable recoil. I'm doing like, I was like, I'm getting pretty good. Then I pretty good then i tried to level up them like well maybe after i get a better sight maybe after i get this it's painful to use that gun yeah you want to use a machine gun you want like there's a there's a bunch of them any of the assault rifles the submachine guns got a big buff recently like your movement speeds faster i think they do more damage hip fire may may have the cone may have like shrunk so like
Starting point is 00:39:08 MP5 MP7. Yeah, I've been doing well with the mp5 It still loses if you're in the same room to the 725 now, I know. Oh, yeah I know you have been nerfed again, but I think still you know, if it all they're nerfing the range They're trying to cut down on that because even after the first nerf I was like well now we just aim down sights It's you're still killing people just way across the map It seemed for a shotgun anyway, but like shotguns are hard to balance on a video game like you view shotguns in real life I don't know how much buckshot experience you have but like them at a hundred yards You can kill a man with buckshot in a shotgun If you've got a full choke and you aim carefully, like it's still shooting a pattern big enough
Starting point is 00:39:46 that you're going to hit him with a couple of.30 caliber lead balls going 700 feet per second or something. Every game I know of just adopts the same imaginary shotgun effectiveness, which is really good to like 20 feet. Yeah. Yeah, if that, yeah. But this game, they were like, well, let's kind of make it like it should be.
Starting point is 00:40:05 And everybody's just like, no, we hate it. Because if we actually had to go play Call of Duty with your real human body, you'd be like, well, give me a shotgun. I need a shotgun first. You wouldn't be fucking around with an MP5 and reloading and stuff. You would think that. So the 725, Taylor, if you don't know, is an over-under. So it has two rounds and you have to reload.
Starting point is 00:40:24 It's not like a semi-auto. I was looking for the name of the AA-12 is what I was going for. It's not like that at all. It's just like a double barrel shotgun, but over-under. You'd think that that would be kind of a suitable nerf already. You know, there's only two rounds before you have to reload it, but it's really not. Like two rounds seems like it gets me
Starting point is 00:40:45 out of most jams yeah and if you're if you're really mobile like if you know how to move your character around you can kill two people go prone sleight of hand and the reload is pretty fast anyway throw a stun pop back up two more throw a smoke at the ground if you've got that instead and just like you can decimate a whole fucking team with like like so does it suck now that they nerfed it twice i haven't played with it today i doubt it sucks i bet it's still gonna dominate if you're in the same room with somebody as it should that's where they're supposed to work i almost forgot in cod shotguns are a viable weapon like like if your best weapon is a pistol something went wrong you're not supposed to
Starting point is 00:41:23 run around with a revolver and murk everyone. Although that happened to me one game, getting murked. But shotguns, you are supposed to, if you navigate the map properly and keep all your engagements close, shotguns are supposed to be the best in COD. And I almost forgot that for a bit. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:39 This is a good Call of Duty. I'm still really enjoying it. I'm still playing it every night. There were some guys that were holding out and not purchasing it. They've come into the fold. So we all have it now. I'd like to play again one of these days. Maybe tomorrow or something where you can work me in.
Starting point is 00:41:54 Yeah, for sure. I'm not going to lead with COD. I think the first game I'm going to play is the South Park game, The Stick of Truth. That's a neat choice for you. I played it when it first came out but it's one of those things where you know how a game like skyrim you can go years without playing it and then pop back on and play a different class and it feels new there's like four different
Starting point is 00:42:19 classes or some shit in the south park game and so i'm just gonna pick one i haven't done before and i don't remember anything about winning the game or exactly what you do I just remember it's turn based and there's a lot of really really funny shit jokes fun stuff to rip off yeah I was thinking I would play the first one yeah the fractured but whole
Starting point is 00:42:38 really good really creative but I think that'll be a funny thing to play for solo at least obviously if I'm playing with other people I'll have to jump in and play something else I like that'll be a funny thing to play, for solo at least. Obviously, if I'm playing with other people, I'll have to jump in and play something else. I like that. That's a neat idea for you. Because I've been thinking, well, you've heard me say the same stuff before.
Starting point is 00:42:52 What is right for Taylor to play? And I think that the attraction to your stream is you, not your gameplay. Oh, if it's my gameplay, I'm fucked. So you need a game that allows you to be you, right? Whereas, I don't know, COD is a great example, where it requires your full attention or what are we even doing here? my gameplay i'm fucked so you need a game that allows you to be you right whereas uh no the cod is a great example where it requires your full attention or what are we even doing here like for sure i just want to joke around yeah and have a good time with my friends
Starting point is 00:43:14 dude i've had streams like that i i i made there's um on twitch you have the title of your stream and you have the game they're not the same. So they're both opportunities to pull people in. And I quoted Wings in one of my streams. Like I just wanted to hang out and have a good time. Everyone walks into my stream and I didn't know why, but they're like, Woody, are you depressed? Are you okay? Are you happy right now?
Starting point is 00:43:39 I kept answering the question like earnestly. And I'm like, it's my title. I'm giving it like, I ruin it. Sometimes I I'll be like does this beard make me look sexy and then I just get beard comments all night long and I forgot my like I'm not paying attention to my title like why is everyone talking about the beard but they just join in and yeah and lots of funny just said that on Twitch I couldn't start my first stream and go if I don't have $500 in donations in the next hour, I'm going to kill myself on Facebook Live. He said that would not fly. That's a suicide threat in the eyes of Twitch, which is like...
Starting point is 00:44:19 You know what I did? I did this yesterday. I installed Twitch on my TV in my living room. I've been watching a lot of Choco Taco, so I wanted to watch him live. I rarely do that. It was late at night. It was like 3 in the morning. I was just like, let's see what people are doing on Twitch at 3 in the morning. The number 2 game was just chatting.
Starting point is 00:44:42 I was like, huh. Let's see what everybody's chatting about there were like eight naked women who were putting like doing that full body paint so they're like literally naked and on one side of the screen they have like a picture of like i don't know some dark sorceress from some anime or some video game that i'm not familiar with but you know a big titted lady with black hair essentially who's got blue skin and she's like completely naked from the waist up and she's painting her titties how clearly can you see her nipples not at all i think she's got pasties on the nipples she's got those little like it's like a band-aid like a and
Starting point is 00:45:22 pretty disappointed but but there's they're very you know they're they're jiggling around and there's there's no support there's no support there a lot of fluidity yeah and i was like oh wow that was all right let's see what else i scroll two more to the right and here is this chick with her tits are four times bigger than the first chick's tits and she's doing wonder woman and she's also naked from the waist up. And I'm like, alright. This is Twitch late night. Is four times bigger better? Yeah. Just look at porn fucking weirdos. In this case, they went from like, like chi-chis to
Starting point is 00:45:53 cha-chas. There's a fair chance I would have preferred the small ones. They went from oranges to like, the biggest cantaloupes you've ever seen. They were oranges already? That's plenty in Woody's mind. And they may have been, and they look perfect.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Maybe there were some painting going on. I'd have been happy with the half, the top of a cupcake. Just something to distinguish from boy, and that's plenty for me. How are we to compete? We can't do body paints. You can't even take your shirt off. That would paints accidentally. You can't even take your shirt off. That would be hilarious. I can't even take my shirt off. Nobody even wants to
Starting point is 00:46:30 see me without my shirt on. Somebody does. Yeah, okay. Outside of this call, that's the whole point. No one wants to see it and they'll ban you for it if you expose people to it without a warning. My dresser counts as a shirt. As a goof, I did a cleavage cam or
Starting point is 00:46:45 something and my chat was telling me i might get banned but it didn't happen yeah like like when he showed his foot one time and apparently that is literally against terms of service because of those foot fetish freaks like he's showing his foot because like i think he had an injury or something on his foot or i don't i don't recall but a blister or it was swollen or something like that. And they're like, come on, come on, show us your foot. And he doesn't know. And I didn't know. So he's just like, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:11 You know, he props his foot up. He's like, here's my foot boys. And they're just like, TOS, TOS, which is terms of service. Yeah. So Sandy Ravage is one of my favorite streamers. And I just, I like the dude. He's fun to me. And he's streaming a game that doesn't capture my interest American
Starting point is 00:47:28 truck simulator but he caught he has a I think he genuinely loves that game and he has a foot cam so you can watch him work the gears it's a stick shift and so I pop in I see he's playing that and and I'm like, dude, help an old man out. It's hard to keep my erection up while you have those socks on. And he's like, I can't, I can't. You gotta have socks or it's a Twitch problem. Yeah. Good lord.
Starting point is 00:48:00 It seems like they've legislated Twitch into just being hard to bounce around. Twitch is pretty shitty because what you'll see, and there are often like long threads explaining this and like breaking down like the things that girls are allowed to get away with certain girls in particular especially like the more popular ones are allowed to really get away with a lot of stuff and then some makers and also because like the actual mods and admins the twitch employees are like into them and they're like like personally following them and they have a vested interest in like you know that oh she might not ever suck my dick if i ban her and there's at least a one in eight trillion chance that she will she said my name that one time yeah i was gonna say they are right she won't suck your dick if you know she's not gonna suck your dick um but but but like that the the girls get away with all sorts of stuff.
Starting point is 00:48:46 Now, I don't follow it very closely. Like I said, I just discovered last night the whole body painting thing. But I have seen plenty of those clips of those girls who were like, oh, we got a killing call of duty. Let me walk back over there and mark it on the old marker board. Yeah. She turns around and she's got like Spanx on. She's got like the tightest see-through leggings or something so you can just
Starting point is 00:49:06 almost make out her asshole through them as she walks over there to like But easily get the lady. There we go. This is society without fathers. Yeah, I've seen We've strayed so far from Jesus' light. Someday the Lord will come and bring a rain to clean all this filth off the streets.
Starting point is 00:49:26 Maybe I'm crazy. I'm not confident I'm right on this, but I thought guys would get away with certain things, right? Like if I showed this much of my shirt, they're not going to care because I'm me, right? Like no one's getting off on it. Whereas girls, if there's too much cleavage, they do get it. Okay, so maybe I'm wrong, but my personal experience has been all the cleavage you want, but no bare shoulders. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:49:52 It's just like when they legislate gun stuff, and they're like, all right, no bayonet lugs, but as long as the magazine's attached, it can hold 5,000 rounds. Yeah, sure, that's fine. They have a hard time legislating against whores okay and so and so like hey hey cut all that bare shoulder stuff off no more tube tops goodness gracious and the girls will just be like all right so they'll have like the tiniest like spaghetti strap over the top and it's like well i guess that's technically legal and look i i got no problem with them get i think there should be nudity on Twitch and just get it the fuck
Starting point is 00:50:26 over with. I watched a girl who was just chatting. She's on the beach streaming from the beach in her bikini. And she was just frolicking in the water. Interesting stories. No, she was frolicking. But then I... You're telling me these women get popular even though they're not funny or entertaining?
Starting point is 00:50:43 See, this will get you banned. Oh, that's a thing that I struggle with yes Taylor this is a thing oh I guess if you're gonna be on YouTube you're cool but one of the challenges I do have is not talking shit about other streamers right not I'll generally just talk tons and tons of shit but people will ask opinions or you know whatever and it's like I don't know is blade on twitch is played aloud on twitch maybe I shouldn't even talk about his legs you know or or doctor disrespected something finally there's
Starting point is 00:51:15 it got a popular and read it but there's another guy that cheated on his girlfriend and he donated three dollars so he got dr. disrespect to be like hey welcome to the champions club and it was kind of a meta funny thing and it's hard like that could get me banned I don't know you know like that right there is the kind of thing that twitch might look at the wrong way yeah I mean I wouldn't say a damn thing about dr. disrespect over there on Twitch because he is the golden he's Eve streamer of the year last year or was the year before like who's left that's maybe choco tacos left no he's not nearly as big as okay yeah he might be the king of twitch now like i think you could
Starting point is 00:51:55 have made an argument that um ninja was or um shroud shroud what i am i crazy didn't ninja pull bigger numbers i thought he did he definitely did when he was like in the in his fortnight heyday I thought I remembered him getting like hundreds of that like quarter million fucking concurrent like people watching him play for him yeah anyway in my little scope of observation I feel like dr. disrespects the biggest guy left he could be for all I know again i have a narrow scope of observation as well in that i don't watch league of legends i don't watch dota you know like i'm not into those games in particular so for all i know it's just like back in the day when we're like oh yeah this
Starting point is 00:52:34 guy's got this many youtube subscribers this guy who's that guy from portugal oh he's the only portugal cod player so the entire he owns all of portuguese and anyone who speaks the port speaks to the portuguese language they subscribe to him yeah yeah isn't a league of legends and dota or at least one of those what destiny streams and he's a pretty big streamer on twitch right i i wouldn't know i i wouldn't know i don't follow those things uh very ignorant as it kind of as it pertains to them so you know i watch pubg watch COD. I watch a few. I like to watch a Mario Maker too. I'm always watching
Starting point is 00:53:09 Mario Maker is where people design these Mario Brothers levels that are incredibly intricate and difficult to beat. You can only submit one if you have, in fact, beaten it yourself. Oh, cool. Yeah, that's a cool little
Starting point is 00:53:25 caveat so like okay it can be yeah it can be beaten it's been laid out and just watching this little asian guy play for five hours straight and i'm just waiting on him to explode like i don't know how he does it like i i'll my my palms would be sweating i'd be like I don't know how he does it. My palms would be sweating. I'd be uncomfortable in my seat just playing that for five fucking hours like that, failing over and over. Now that you've said it, I've definitely seen highlights of it, people beating those impossible levels. I haven't watched the building.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Yeah, I don't watch the building either. I just watch them fail. And they're very good. I've got something that made me laugh really hard today. And it's 40 seconds long, but we have to watch the whole thing. All right, not too tall. Don't start it, keep it on the... Yeah, I'm at zero.
Starting point is 00:54:22 I'm at two seconds, let me back up and set up the speed. All right. Three, two... Wait, wait, wait. Sorry, it's taking me a little longer. This thing is... No, there's a reason you do the countdowns. You go ahead. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Three, two, one, play. Oh, I see. Okay. All right. Oh, shit. Get off the fucking bus. Don't throw the child. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:54:57 What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:55:01 What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:55:02 What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:55:03 What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:55:03 What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:55:03 What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? That man just tossed a child.
Starting point is 00:55:08 She's outraged. I bet that was a real shitty kid, though. Look at the mess in the storefront behind them. That has nothing to do with it. That guy's like 30. It's a midget pretending to be a kid with a kid's backpack. Is that what it was? Yes.
Starting point is 00:55:32 Go to the last little bit. It's a midget with a kid's outfit on. He's got a soul patch. Yeah, he's got a fucking soul patch. I didn't catch that at first. Let me watch again. Oh, shit. That's a man. Yeah, that's a grown man. you can hear in the beginning the bus
Starting point is 00:55:47 driver look of disgust of the man a kid out and he goes it's a midget oh i didn't hear those words seconds that man walks away and he has a look of disgust i thought she was a kid yeah it feels dirty because they were just like, oh, the bus driver, we were just insulting. He was right the whole time. Do you think the bus driver was in on it the whole time? In on what? So there's two ways this could have played out. Either the bus driver and the little person played a prank on a crowd or a crowd just observed a bus driver pretending to be a kid. I think a midget snuck onto a bus with children and was wearing a pink
Starting point is 00:56:27 My Little Pony backpack and being creepy. And eventually that bus driver was like, oh hell no, you're fucking 35. And grabbed him and threw him off the bus. Yeah, definitely that. That was not a prank. Black people don't play pranks. They know better. Okay, you fuck with me over with that. A practical joke is a black man in this country You get shot, arrested It won't go well People misunderstand, you'll be doing 3 to 5 Same thing with magic tricks
Starting point is 00:56:51 Oh well They just fear the dark arts That's all We should all fear the dark arts a little more I agree They're definitely real I did that thing that you were talking about and and asked lucifer into my heart the other night around a religious person they did not care for
Starting point is 00:57:10 it is a great bit i was like lucifer morning star the else king of the depths come into me work your powers through me and use me as your vessel. Yeah. See, but it was- Stop. But it was fun, wasn't it? It was so fun. And I felt this electricity all over my skin. And ever since then, I've been able to bend steel with my bare hands.
Starting point is 00:57:39 Damn. Don't know what that could be. All I can do is like make cups wiggle a little bit if I think about it. Yeah, yeah. I think've got a lesser demon. I'm pretty sure I've got Beelzebub. You have to ask for him by name. I've got room in here for a lot more demons.
Starting point is 00:57:53 So I'll just invite a couple and then I'll be like, I am Legion. And it'll be like 50 of them. I don't know if the laws of physics pertain to demonic possession, but I like where you're going with this. I feel like if I had an angel in my heart, I'd get bullshit powers. Like a slight glow that not everyone can see meanwhile kyle like i could bending steel yes it made me like less cranky like that's what it would do whereas a demon i feel like fires on the table bending metal winning like the lottery if you like maybe i could sell somebody else's soul yeah
Starting point is 00:58:26 i do i mean if the devil was real and he was down like see that's how i know there's no devil because i'm down let's let's get after it right you know like what are you gonna give me and what do you need me to do and we'll work something out here you need me to kill some babies i i can become an abortionist let's go it's. I'm not really into any babies. Yeah. No. You might be after the demons inside you. I have a topic I'm dying to talk about.
Starting point is 00:58:52 What's up? I might be following this more tightly than Kyle. Georgia football. So Georgia entered this week in sixth place in the college playoffs. Four teams make the dance. Everyone else is on the outside looking in. But it was a really interesting week. One, Penn State lost. So now they're fifth. Now there's a spot open. Also, LSU played Alabama. So one of them had to lose. It turned out to be Alabama.
Starting point is 00:59:19 Does that mean two spots opened? If you lose to the number one team, are you suddenly not a top four team? No. And you suddenly not a top four team? No. And Georgia's not a top four team. They definitely do not deserve a top four position after the way that they struggled with Missouri. I mean, they beat Missouri like, what was it? 27 to no? Yeah. I watched the game and it was embarrassing. Our defense did well. Obviously, we held you to no points. I don't know if you got a first down in the first quarter of the game. I don't think you did. Did they struggle against Missouri?
Starting point is 00:59:49 Because we're fucking ass this year. Yeah. 27-0 is – I'm going to look. It absolutely was a struggle. It's closer than it looked. Yeah, it was definitely closer than it looked. We kicked a lot of field goals. It was like we weren't able to score at will on you,
Starting point is 01:00:05 and we should have been. There was dropped passes. The receiver core looked bad. Fromm got sacked a time or two. There was one point in the second quarter where we were negative rushing yards for a long time. It should have been a 58 to nothing or a 63 to three or something. to nothing or like a 63 to three or something.
Starting point is 01:00:24 Yeah. It it's, if you're a top 14, then you destroy Missouri in an embarrassing kind of way. We won, we won convincingly, but we didn't embarrass Missouri in a ridiculous kind of way. I have some stats in front of me.
Starting point is 01:00:38 First downs, Georgia is 17 to 11, which is not as lopsided as I expected, you know, with Kyle's thing and total yards, three 39 to one 98. So three Kyle's thing. And total yards, 339 to 198, so 340 to 200. Yeah. A solid win. But it's against a Missouri team that's just straight up not good.
Starting point is 01:00:55 You didn't have your starting quarterback, or I think one of your better receivers. You were 5-3 going into it. Mizzou is actually not bad. We were like 5-1 at one point. They were favored in two of their losses. They lost their starting QB. They lost their starting QB.
Starting point is 01:01:11 A friend of mine is way closer to Mizzou. Follows it more than I do. Apparently, a couple receivers or running backs or something, we lost them. Ever since then, Mizzou's just been trash. That's what I'm saying. It's not surprising that you didn't score on Georgia. Georgia does have maybe a top five, top four defense
Starting point is 01:01:28 in the country, but the offense did not look like a top four offense. It was embarrassing to watch. I was upset. I got a friend who's in Athens. He played games with us the other night, and he was like, yeah, I gotta wait till the game's over. I'll be home to play some cod. And I'm like, it's an embarrassing night. He's like,
Starting point is 01:01:43 for sure. For sure. This is ridiculous. So I'm just gonna play devil's advocate. Next week be home to play some cod. It's an embarrassing night. He's like, for sure. This is ridiculous. I'm just going to play devil's advocate. Next week, you play number 11, Auburn. That would be more impressive than any win Alabama has had this year. If you win that, shouldn't you have Bama's spot? Didn't Alabama beat Florida
Starting point is 01:02:00 though? Florida ranked? Convincingly. Yeah, quite highly. We're going to get we beat Florida okay it's completely possible I'm wrong I'm looking this up um I think Florida was like sixth and we were 11th when we beat them or something like that I haven't been following it very closely to be honest but but I don't think we were a top four team um I think they could get in there I think that it could shake out that way like next week if we whoop auburn and somebody in the top four loses in a bad kind of way alabama did not beat florida their most impressive win is a number
Starting point is 01:02:31 24 texas a and m okay never mind that yeah but but again like like like although they play a way to i see so there'll be a comparison yeah but when when alabama plays one of those middling teams like missouri um they run the score up it's a show like it's it's when it's it's like what are the what's that that uh that voice over in mortal kombat humiliating victory humiliation yeah it's yeah like we get absolutely raped by that, especially we would this year without our good players. And other good, I guess in bad sports news, the Blues are second in the NHL right now behind the Washington Capitals. And this is not a recipe for success, boys. We've been really good at this point in the year.
Starting point is 01:03:22 That's not true. Oh, yeah. You were like the worst team by january of last year that's what i'm saying i'm saying that we ended up winning the stanley cup when we sucked cock i followed the whole first part of the year and then they're like let's just play the second half and they kicked ass so you feel like all this success you're having is a bad omen it's just too much first of, not having Tarasenko for the whole year and us still winning seven in a row right now.
Starting point is 01:03:49 I don't know. I feel like that house of cards has got to collapse. Then again, Bennington, our goalie, is playing fantastic. He's doing really, really well. And there was an interview with Tarasenko that was out today on Blues forums. And he's like, you know, now he's from the quable cups place and it's like we have uh it's been two weeks since uh they tell me i'm out for six months so yeah
Starting point is 01:04:16 i'm not having a good time like i'm just trying to focus on uh recovery in this and i'm like oh poor poor tank you know he's such a good guy. So nice. But hopefully we can continue to succeed without him. On another positive thing, I think the longest win streak in the NHL right now is the Blues at seven. But the Philadelphia Flyers, after struggling hard, strung together four wins in a row.
Starting point is 01:04:40 They're starting to look solid. Third in the Metropolitan. I think Philly is going to be a playoff team they're ahead of Pittsburgh right now that would break tradition yeah but yeah because you like Philly that's my second favorite Eastern Conference team now like I hope they make it yeah I'm not number one still Taylor give me some guidance here should I be rooting for the Blues to win or lose I thought it's very hard to tell you just need to hope your team sucks until january that's the way you win yeah and i think right what was there's one player on the flyers is absolutely ripping it up right
Starting point is 01:05:18 now travis konecki yeah some guy he's, not even like, I guess they bumped him up like first line. He's a guy who's like not very popular at all. He's only 22, so it makes sense. These guys have like blowout seasons all the time where they finally come into their own, but he looks like a guy who could be really positive for the future of the Flyers. swing right now whereas pittsburgh is on the downswing but as long as crosby and malkin are still viable they'll never be a bottom feeder terrible team which ironically will lead to them sucking harder in the midterm future because they won't get the draft quit picks they need because crosby will pull them kicking and screaming into a bad draft pick i'm crossing my fingers that crosby will start to suck even more right i i want not just pittsburgh to fail but for crosby to fail with the rest of the team that would be for crosby to yeah he's he's not gonna start sucking i mean it's to the point now that he's absolutely not the number one player in the league anymore that That was even up for debate last year and the year before, but Conor McDavid has usurped that, I think, for the Edmonton Oilers,
Starting point is 01:06:29 which, first of all, tremendously unfair that the best player, I think, to come into the league since fucking Mario Lemieux or Gretzky also plays for the Oilers. Stupid. Not fair. Why should they get Gretzky for so many years and then also get this generational talent? And he's looking like he might be a generational talent
Starting point is 01:06:50 that even surpasses Crosby. Like, his hockey IQ, like, predicting the flow of the game and where the puck's going to go and how to set up passes and stuff, like, he's just tremendous at it. And he's got that that german that kraut fuck leon dry sidle who is when as an nhl fan when i see that a player comes from like
Starting point is 01:07:14 italy or germany or something i'm like yeah they're gonna be middling at best like there was a guy named zem goose gergensons who was from slovakia or something and he got voted into the all-star game once even though he sucked because everyone in slovakia was like that's our guy so they voted him in powerful voting this is dry over there i thought goal scorer last year i guess i don't know what i'm talking about i thought there's a guy like taylor hall or tyler hall or something like that taylor hall is really good he plays for the the devils uh he's not a top 10 player right now uh two years ago he won the art ross i think which is for the the most points um but yeah he's he's in like a i want to leave new jersey phase right now because new jersey's bad and's, you know, not that you care,
Starting point is 01:08:08 because I always thought New Jersey meant you root for New Jersey, but nope, Southern New Jersey, you root for Philly. That is the rules. As a guy who followed a lot of hockey and is following the NBA now, I hate that they do per-game averages in their scorekeeping. So for people who don't know this, hockey looks at the season points, right? How many points did you get this season how many assists how many goals etc in basketball they look at per game stats so you've got guys like Kawhi Leonard if they play two games in a row he sits
Starting point is 01:08:35 out he's injured every time they have back-to-back games they call it load management then he feels like it helps him come playoff time Kawhi Leonard should be viewed as a player who gets like two-thirds the impact of an elite player. There are guys playing every night who are racking up tons of points. This guy doesn't play every night, and it doesn't hurt him because he's still a guy who averages making it up 30 points per game.
Starting point is 01:09:01 And it's like, ah, that's bullshit. They should look at season-long stats. Yeah, they should. I mean, they do points per game and it's like oh that's bullshit they should look at season long stats yeah they should i mean they do points per game and in hockey too but because the points are so much lower like if you're a point per game player in the nhl you are fucking elite pretty good you are good like and so for like the best player in the league right now connor mcdavid has like 380 points and like 290 games or something which is absolutely retardedly good given how good goalies are now so yeah that is a dumb way to that's a bad metric for basketball players yes hey we're over an hour but i i'm glad we got sports talking i don't know
Starting point is 01:09:49 blues game starts in an hour i'm gonna watch that all right watch that as i wait three more days for my computer you hope the pk had 273.

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