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Oh, there it is.
P-A-N-274.
Fuck, every day a little bit worse.
This button, it says start recording.
When you press it, the word changes to stop.
Well, those words are pretty much the same to my eyes.
And I'm like, did it go?
Look at all the diversity on this podcast.
The brown-haired white guy with the glasses his tits
but what shade of brown i don't know they're all about the same yeah pretty much it was very dark
i'm pretty dark because it's the winter time though it looks lighter than it is now because
i have my camera set to warm and i think i'm going to set it to vibrant after this i'd like to i'd like
to feel vibrant do i look any better on the new camera five percent sexier maybe eight
and a little blurry yeah i like it it looked like you've been painted
pastel taylor you're blurry as fuck oh wait
no you're fine like i i'm like almost positive that they fucked up my prescription
with these glasses because okay like the first day i started wearing them i was like oh man i'm
getting headaches and then i was like it's just gonna take a day or two to readjust the glasses
because i've been wearing like 18 months worth of contacts and like today just like i was driving
and like i almost felt like i needed to pull over because my headache was getting so bad
like i wasn't focusing on stuff right yeah these are new and it's supposed to have my new
prescription in it but i think they might have fucked it up so i'm gonna go back to costco
and throw a huge fit not really i'll be courteous i want new glasses i want to have glasses for
driving i just wonder if it'd be nice iteous i want new glasses i want to have glasses for driving i just
wonder if it'd be nice i'm getting more accustomed to glasses i used to prefer fuzziness but i went
too far you guys overdid it with the fuzziness but i get such good feedback on these glasses i
want the exact don't change a thing that like i don't i don't want to experiment yeah they look
good yeah i like the full frame glasses.
My girlfriend,
we were watching TV
a couple nights ago
and I saw the glasses on
and I was like
taking them off
to like rub them down
or something
and she like grabbed them
to put them on
and she was like,
oh,
is this what you see?
And I was like,
yeah, yeah.
And my brother was sitting on a chair like
six feet from her and she looked over there and was like i cannot tell who's sitting there
it's just so when you see faces without your glasses it's just kind of a skin colored blur
like you don't see features i'm like yeah yeah that's but it's not true, right? I'm outside my depth here. But I can't put on your glasses and get tailor vision, right?
That's not how glasses work, right?
It depends.
If you have perfect vision, then it's similar to that.
If you give your glasses to someone who has 20-20, then the...
Then I just get your corneas, basically.
Stuck on mine.
Yeah, but because your eyes are also not perfect.
They have their own mess ups.
Yeah, it wouldn't be quite as bad as someone like,
Kyle probably has the best vision of the three of us.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, and so when did you even get glasses?
How long have you had those?
Me?
Yeah.
These aren't real glasses.
I don't think there's corrective lenses in there.
No, no, no.
These filter blue light.
Yeah, these just filter blue light from my monitor.
The eyestrain thing.
Yeah, these are like those lame-ass gunner optics they used to make,
except that they actually work and they're cheap as fuck.
They're literally just to filter blue light out,
and it gives me a similar effect to what you're getting right now
because you have your monitor on warm.
Okay.
Yeah, it's an eyestrain thing. It has nothing to do do i i see fine i got my vision test in prison all good what did you get do you know your score 2015 really you're one of those it was better
it's gotten worse uh my right eye is 2010 my left eye is 2015 see i'm with you on the it was better
it's gotten worth worst part i just didn't start at 2010 or 2015.
I had 2020 at one point, but I don't think...
I'm trying to get an eye test in.
I'll let you guys know.
I think I'm close to my left eye, my bad eye.
Don't be jealous.
I'll go deaf in eight years.
All those explosions I took, those are cumulative.
That does something to those little follicle hairs in your in your ears and when
By the time you hit 40
you guys
Doubling up on your earphones to all at least always have my right here
Damaging right here fix that because when you start actually playing like shooters you need both fucking ears
Yeah, but I don't care about being good and it like
you need both fucking ears yeah but I don't care about being good
and like
do you care about
I'm not going to play with you if you don't put that fucking headset on
Kyle and I have standards
I was waiting on the delivery
I was waiting on a plumber the other day and I took the right
ear off so I could hear the doorbell and I was like
god damn it how does he do it
people do it
I only know if they're coming from my left
i would i'm i'm invent pulling numbers out of my ass but it seems like 20 percent of
professional like radio hosts and stuff like that do a one-year thing
jim norton does it he never has both of his yeah jim norton doesn't sound whore
well i don't either he's not playing nope touche he's gonna want both ears and Is it because you need to hear yourself?
Yep
We gotta get you a different mixer or something
Because I hear myself
Oh I know but there's something about the feedback
It's always irritated me
Do you have the right amount of feedback?
I'll have to get a new mixer
I got my Corsair
Mine's cheap as fuck
Okay so Kyle changed the thing that makes this not hearable.
Kyle, I think you changed Mike.
Something went bad right there.
I got this feature where I can go silent.
Let me tell you what good is like.
Is it still fucked?
No, you're good.
It's a Zinx 302 USB.
I think the thing is like $50 or maybe even less.
But I hear myself
through my headphones and
I dial in
everybody else on Discord to the right volume.
Audio is pretty important when you're playing some of these
games I play. I dial in the audio
on the game just right. Get that fucking
music turned off and get the interface
turned down. It shouldn't be too important
for South Park's Stick of Truth.
No, it won't be important at all. You don't need to sound whore uh professor chaos you hear him come yeah
i remember it cut off now and then could it be a discord setting like that you have to be loud
enough like we had guests do i'll check okay it's not a it happened like twice it's not a common thing all right i was
asking people about that fix these things about the corsair keyboard and everybody highly
recommended it and everything and it it looks great feels comfortable but i was like asking
naked you know people giving me tips i'm like is it going to be really loud like is it going to be
really loud to type on that
they're like no no not at all you know what color the switches are is it blue red brown
the switches you can't see it keys you would it's a thing you would know when you ordered it maybe
you didn't look for that it is gray oh i don't know gray. Anyway, you were saying...
It's like...
Is that really loud?
You can hear it. That's what blue sounds like to me.
Is blue a
quieter one? No.
Am I louder? Let me do mine.
Yes, and higher pitched.
Okay, maybe it's because I'm not used to using these mechanical keyboards
to me i was like holy fuck this is loud but it feels great that's good i do like it i like the
tactile response oh yeah clickety clack clickety clack i got my can you hear this indeed barely
a little bit yeah i got my custom color was d things oh you know? I wish this is a tool. Show me that.
Can you hold it?
Can you point your camera at it?
Oh,
that's what you got.
Are they a different shape?
What's that?
Are they a different shape?
Uh,
they've got a,
it looks like it has a textured kind of matte finish on the top.
Do you know how you games?
I play games with my hand on the home row keys.
My index. Yeah. I put my index finger on F. I play games with my hand on the home row keys. Really?
Yeah, I put my index finger on F.
Everybody else is one more to the left.
It's just how I learned.
I didn't get into PC gaming until like three years ago or whatever.
And it was like, well, I know what I type.
And you start with your pointer index finger on the left. So when you go forward, do you put your ring finger on W?
Yep, I walk forward with a W.
I'm not doing that.
With my ring finger.
Yeah.
I have the traditional thing.
Every,
you know,
every finger on W and then A and D,
but every so often,
maybe it's too often.
It might happen every two games in COD.
Instead of WASD,
I ESF,
like a shift to the right one.
And that's no good.
Yeah. That's the, that's why I like, because you've got the bump, you know, on F, so I can always find it without looking at my keyboard.
And it really doesn't, doesn't. The only thing that's bad is sometimes it's hard to get left
control. Because I'm slid over one. But I usually remap that to caps lock, because that's that's
pretty easy to hit. You know, you just go straight over the keyboard talk and it makes it makes T and R and Y and G and H and V and B much more easy to get at.
So I just remap things and I'm fine.
In some of the games I play, control makes you sprint and it's the only like worn out button in corner of it worn out there yeah i use shift
exclusively for sprint that i usually go with the game's default i don't change yeah i always remap
to try to keep like all my controls the same because uh like the activation key the one that
like open a will open a door pick up an item it's usually erf um and i And I like it to be E. I like to remap the push to talk.
My preference is C,
but sometimes that's taken.
I need a new preference.
I like T, so I don't forget.
I'm playing this game called Escape from Tarkov right now.
And when I play-
Is this the one that you texted us?
Like, I'm going to need another 10 minutes
because I'm in the middle of an intense thing.
Yeah, I was on a mission.
I'm looking through what this game is.
10 minutes because I'm in the middle of an intense thing? Yeah, I was on a mission.
I can't believe what this game is.
It is a
tactical shooting video game.
It's a first-person shooter
that takes realism to a
whole other level.
It's not
like in Call of Duty where you can maybe put
10 attachments on your weapon
or there's a limited number of attachments.
It's like, oh, you've got a grip? Well, you can't have a flashlight. Oh, you've got've got a grip well you can't have a flashlight oh you got a flashlight well you can't have a laser
that's not how it works in real life you know we've we've all like seen guns and owned guns
mall ninjas keep strapping people you just keep strapping shit on there right if you want
that's how it is in this game and there's a there's a whole currency system you start out
with 300 000 rubles They use rubles.
Isn't that like $60?
45 bucks, I think.
Jesus, I was trying to go drastically low.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I thought you meant the game.
The game costs, like real world.
That's irrelevant.
Actually, it is relevant,
but I'm not going to get that complicated. You can transfer the money into in-game dollary dues.
Because some people prefer dollars in game than rubles,
but that's irrelevant.
Essentially though,
you can,
you,
you,
you acquire your guns in a few different ways.
If you want a decent gun though,
you probably got to buy it off the marketplace.
If you want one early,
you're buying it from other players who are putting them up for sale.
And they're very,
very expensive.
And if you go on these raids, you pick a map,
and you and your team jump in there,
and you don't really know how many enemies are in there.
And there's three different ways to play the game.
You can play as a scav.
Or excuse me, there are three kinds of players
that you will encounter while you're playing.
There are scavs, scavengers.
These are artificial intelligence bots,
but they're no joke.
They'll end you instantaneously.
Like some of them are like boss characters
and they'll just kill four of you
and you're all dead.
Some of them,
but you might run into a scavenger player.
Now this is somebody who is trying to go
no risk, high reward. You can do every 20 minutes, you're allowed to jump into a scavenger player. Now this is somebody who is trying to go no risk, high reward.
Every 20 minutes
you're allowed to jump into a game
like this. You get a random
outfit, a random bag
with very low supplies,
a random fucking gun. It could just be
a pistol even. No armor
usually. And you get to
go into the map and try to find
items to loot and take back out and sell
on the marketplace and sell to these artificial intelligence vendors, like it's Fallout or
something. But it's a player. He's just under-equipped. And then there are...
And it's low risk, high reward, because he could get great stuff, but if you kill him,
you don't get anything. He's not losing anything.
He hasn't really lost anything because he didn't go in there with anything,
but he gets to keep anything he brings out the rest and then but
then at any time you can go in and play as yourself and everything you take in there you own
it's like in your vault back home and you're like all right we're gonna get our 870 shotgun
clickety click i want this helmet on my character click i want and and you're pulling them not from some
endless supply like in call of duty i've only got one helmet all right if i lose that helmet i ain't
got one no more i've got to go buy one from somebody or borrow one from somebody and the
helmet's not cheap or earn it somehow or scavenge for it something like that and so when you die
now you can buy insurance and when you buy insurance on your items, if nobody takes them in the game,
like if you get killed but nobody finds your shit and takes it out of the game with themselves,
then in about 48 hours, you'll get it returned.
Right now, I'm really hopeful that the day after tomorrow, I'm going to be getting a real windfall.
Because I've had a lot of insured things taken from me today. really hopeful that the day after tomorrow i'm gonna be getting a real windfall because
i've had a lot of insured things taken from me today um but i'm doing real well i'm told um for
for a new player to the game because it's very difficult we were talking about like the you know
different remapping keys and learning different controls this game if you you can have like three
sights a laser a flashlight and night vision goggles so
like there's different commands to operate all of that shit it's like control t to like check
your magazine oh there's no heads up display oh this is hard you don't know how many bullets are
in your gun unless you take the magazine out and look at it and of course when you take the mag out
of a gun and look at it you can't tell how many you 14 for sure you don't know they have holes on the side of it they don't
have mags like that they have mags like that but i don't think you get an exact readout even on those
so he just it just says when you do when you press ctrl t he'll uh he'll pop that mag out
and he'll take a look and he'll go about half and i'm like shit about it's a high
end of about half because this is a 30 round magazine um the ammo types i don't even know i
don't even know about these kinds of ammo like they're real kinds of ammo and i've never heard
of them i've hand-loaded ammunition since i was a child and i have no idea what you're a person who
knows ammo i'm a person who really knows ammo i've never heard of so much of it and i have no idea what you're a person who knows ammo i'm a person who really
knows ammo i've never heard of so much of it and i'm asking my friends i'm like do i want the uh
this ammo or that ammo and they're like oh yeah you want the m895 or whatever it's called i'm
forgetting what it's called and so i go in the marketplace i look how much it costs it's six
dollars a bullet and i'm just six real dollars yeah are they real hundred rubles a
bullet well is it six like in real life dollars no no no no it's the in-game currency it's 600
rubles per bullet it's an enormous amount of money so if you die like right away when you start
you could have like like if i've got a hundred rounds there're 600 rubles each. My magazine for my gun alone
is like 60,000 rubles
because it's a 100-round magazine.
My rifle is worth like 220,000 rubles.
My helmet, everything I've got on
is worth lots of money.
But if I lose it, it's fucking gone.
You're a million-dollar man.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, at this point,
I've got millions of dollars worth of things.
But I've been playing pretty hard
for a couple days. So when I play play by myself it's hit or miss especially if i
just play with like some of my friends who are new to the game but when i play with larry the strong
who is um one of my friends that i played a lot of rust with in the past go check out his stream
larry the strong on twitch um i'll be playing with him later uh he um he's very good and his friends seem to be very good
and they play like it's seal team six so we're all stacked up like creeping through these shopping
malls with like lasers and like we'll use like um thermal optics on our rifles so you're looking for
body heat scanning buildings with a sniper rifle from the top of it while two guys watch the doors
and it's a lot of fun it's it really is and when you once you're ready to leave you have to get
you can't just be like all right leave no you've got to get to the exfiltration point that might
be on the other end of the map so you have to be like all right boys let's see if we can make it
out and everybody's got to try to get all the way across the map to this point. That'll finally allow you to leave with all your goodies.
We've died so many times trying to get to that fucking exfiltration point.
It's very high risk.
Oh God.
Like I just had finished a really stressful mission when we,
when we like started,
like,
like got on here and started talking and you weren't here yet,
Taylor,
you were messing with your camera,
but I was like,
Woody,
look, I'm trembling.
Did you get to the exfiltration point?
Yeah.
The best part was a couple of my friends died
and they've got great loot, so I just took it.
Mitty
spent
168,000
rubles on this rifle right before
the game. He
dies right away. And I'm like,
yoink! Now it's mine.
Taylor. What up?
What is left to do between now
and streaming?
Jump over
whatever inevitable
hurdles are going to come when I'm too dumb
to figure out the interface and
getting the face cam going and all that.
And I want to,
I want to try YouTube and Twitch kind of like just play around,
compare,
see which one I like more.
Um,
so yeah,
really it's going to be,
I wanted,
and I still want to try and do one tonight,
but I need to get like my,
my total viewer hours up before any like uh super chats or whatever
are able to be what's a total viewer hour because like you have tons of them on your channel right
you've streaming hours yeah it's five streaming hours oh okay that's something different then
maybe just turn the stream on and put a towel over your camera and go to bed
yes look at that 15 streaming hours last night i really put in the work people would donate dude
this is the kind of ideas that me and white boy used to come out with come up with on my
back porch when we were smoking dope when he was making fucking youtube channels like
bug seven street yeah i was like no no there was a praying mantis on the wall and i was like let's When he was making fucking YouTube channels like Bug 7th Street.
Cat 7th Street. I was like, no, no, no.
There was a praying mantis on the wall.
And I was like, let's catch that praying mantis.
And that's Bug 7th Street, right?
We put him in an aquarium.
We put a camera on him.
People watch him eat flies and shit.
It'll make killer money.
You'll get 50,000 views a video.
You know you will.
He's like, you know you're right.
I will.
Catch it.
Catch it.
I'm like, what about Furniture 7th Street?
It's just a chair.
It's just a video of a chair sitting in the middle of the floor for 15 minutes.
He's like, yeah.
Got to go over 10 minutes.
Get those good ads.
Gotta go over 10 minutes to get those good ads.
Yeah, people would watch a ridiculous stream if you just streamed
a fish tank or something.
Or your poor dogs.
Oh, I'd tune in and watch the dog stream.
Are they in a crate or something at night?
No, they sleep in bed with us.
Oh, wow. Okay.
Yeah, they're that little.
They really don't take up any space.
I'd tune in to watch the dogs sleep now.
Well, in that case, you've got a real
money maker on you.
It's the canines.
It's real hot there, right? No need for covers?
Nope. And you've probably got to go out
anyway.
My girlfriend, well,
she sleeps naked, so...'t but that'd be bestiality lied
just lie taylor yeah no actually i was lying the second time
larry breed uh his his mom breeds dogs and he was saying he couldn't get rid of them and i was like
what kind of dogs and i'm gonna butcher the name but name, but they're the Shia Inus, the Dojas.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know Doja?
I think Shiba.
Yeah, those dogs that are like meme dogs, those orange dogs that make the silly faces.
I kind of want to get one.
We're not talking about a Corgi.
We're talking about Dojas.
Oh, I think I do know what that is.
Yeah, like Dogecoin?
Yeah.
Corgi's get memed a lot too.
I'm kind of considering getting a Doge.
He's so fucking cute.
You'd like a little Doge.
I am Doge.
You'd be a good dog owner.
I know you've had dogs before.
All right.
I don't know. That's a lot to do i don't i just i wish that somebody else would house train it because i'm not good at that i just want somebody i want a dog that's already house trained honestly
that's what i should do is rescue a dog who's like we did that but but those are the dogs that
probably have like mental disorders or something like that. And they're going to like shit themselves every time the doorbell rings,
just spray the wall down.
You can be choosy.
You don't have to like,
I don't know.
The first one that licks you,
you don't need to,
you don't have to promise to bring them home and change his life.
You can be like,
I just want a dog.
I've got any white ones.
There's someone out there who had to move into an apartment that doesn't
take dogs or something.
And he's got a great dog that you could have yeah i don't know i would either want a dachshund or um i'd like a
small dog a dachshund or a russ jack russell terrier or uh those are adorable miniature
my dad has one of those it's cute as fuck um i like those little dogs um but i don't want one
of those dogs gets all retarded on you either they'd like their hips fail at the end of their
lives and stuff like that they get they go retarded and blind and stuff i don't want one of those dogs that gets all retarded on you either. They'd like their hips fail at the end of their lives and stuff like that.
And they get retarded and blind and stuff.
I don't need any of that.
I don't need a deaf dog.
All dogs go blind and deaf if they get to a certain point.
That's it.
See,
that's the beauty of great Danes.
They don't get to that point.
It's better to burn out than to fade away.
Our last one died at five years old.
It's the Jimmy Dean.
Is that his name?
The guy who crashed his car?
No, that's the sausage guy.
You mean the James Dean?
It's the James Dean of Dawn.
Actually, Jimmy is the same as James.
Survey says
we're going to give it to him.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's the James Dean of Dawn.
They live hard, die young,
leave a good looking corpse.
Great dance. That's actually the same guy.
When he wasn't acting, he was
coming up with sausage flavors.
You know, James Dean, actor,
philanthropist, sausage pioneer.
He called his friends. His friends called him Jimmy.
We were tight.
Yeah.
I'm hoping the streaming thing works out
and is pretty easy to get going i think that
you're gonna do well i'll see i hope so i don't really just a lack of time that's the big thing
for me is like like all streamers are like doing it seems like every single fucking day for hours
but i just don't have the time for that right um and also it like i actually had fun today but sometimes it's not fun sometimes
it's like you know like it would be like when i play with no one's watching it's just fun like
that's all i do right i'm slouching in my chair or whatever when i'm playing and someone is watching
like ah i sucked in front of people or um i don't don't know. You, you just work on your on.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
There's no expectation of being even moderate at video games for me.
And so I think that's low.
And I,
like,
I,
I,
I really don't care if people think I'm bad at video games.
I,
I,
I don't mind at all.
What if they're like, you're pretty good at the game,
but man, you're a piece of shit, huh?
They're like,
now that I get to know
you can't even consider that possibility.
You're actually not bad,
but god damn, what a scumbag.
You're an asshole, dude.
You know, I'm filthy.
You're not even that funny.
Now that he's not juxtaposed against Woody.
That's the version of a fat joke for Taylor.
Instead of Wings, he's like, you're not even that funny.
I know it's like somebody linked me to this thing where Wings got mad.
We talked mad shit about him a few weeks ago.
Or I did, I guess, whatever.
We talked mad shit about him a few weeks ago.
Or I did, I guess. Whatever.
He didn't care about me saying that his house was an RV or that his mom owned it or any of that stuff
or that his car was a four-cylinder.
It was when I said he wasn't very good at video games.
That's what got to him.
He predicted that.
He was like, I'm better than Kyle at every game
except for
those pc games he plays that's like a small niche community of gamers on the computer it's it's
literally like saying i'm better than him at everything except for the things he does
like i'm not at all surprised that that was the part that hurt him the most and and also and i i feel like an asshole for for what i'm about to say i disagree that he's bad and i think that's too far but i
do agree that it's inflated right they call him the carried diamond look if i'm in cod and i tell
all my friends they need to run not stealth bomber help me the stealth uav is that
what it's called oh uh it's advanced uav i believe now whatever it was the blackbird and black ops
all right blackbird is what i was searching for but yeah advanced uav if i made all my friends
run that and all my friends like support classes and you know they had to lay down flak jackets
and shit i would have a better kd like of course that is a major help if if all
they're doing is like they're on the left flank and the right flank and they let you be in the
middle and and they just funnel them to you you know it's it's like okay well i like wings game
i'll tell you when wings was good at games games. Modern Warfare 2. Wings was a killer in Modern Warfare 2.
A man amongst men.
God damn it.
People forget, he had a nuke with C4
only and the riot shield.
He had nukes with
pistol nukes.
All kinds of shit.
You can't just camp in a corner
the whole game with a riot shield.
Or a sea scavenger.
He's walking around.
He'd see somebody and he'd thump them a couple times.
And he'd toss that sea.
Wonderful at that game.
Amazing.
A top tier player.
But, you know, I mean, Rainbow, we've seen the streams.
You know, I've watched him live.
He's okay.
He's okay.
He's better than me.
So much better than me at Rainbow.
I would never try to play him at rainbow he knows that game well his game knowledge
top fucking tier i just don't think he's very good on the sticks that's all i'm saying
he never so right my stream today for example a lot of people suggested i go to a controller
and i'm like no well one i haven't used a controller in a while. Two, this is my investment period.
I'm going to aim with a mouse until I stop sucking at aiming with a mouse.
Yeah.
And you might want to look into your sensitivity.
I don't know what my cods are.
It's dependent, right?
Everybody doesn't have the same sensitivity because everybody doesn't have the same, what do you call it on your mouse?
DPI, maybe?
DPI.
what do you call it on your mouse? Uh, DPI. And, um, you know, because I use this fucking off brand bootleg rat mouse, you know, I don't even have razor cortex to like operate my mouse and
tune all that in. So I don't know, but I, I tuned it until it feels right to me and it's not fast
and it's not slow. It's, it's, it's on the slower side though, for sure. I've lowered it twice.
My stream suggested a third is in order yeah it
depends on the game you know games like games have a lot of recoil you kind of need that you
need your sensitivity kind of high because just so you can drag and counter for the recoil because
like you know high recoil guns just literally aim up the sky all of a sudden and if you can
drag that down you're really a step ahead you know if
you're if you if you can control the recoil on a foul or something and tarkov then you're a badass
i don't i don't think i'm at that level or anything but if you can you are and the same
and there's a lot of guns games like that that recoil control is so important rust is certainly
like that csgo is like that cod not so much cod barely has any recoil that m4 is just i choose the guns that
have less recoil than the below average recoil guns lasers yeah yeah that's a thing that's
more fun for people were asking me how i like this cod compared to the other ones
i used to like not be able to use an acr not be able to use a famas like there were like rules
in place for me or yeah self-imposed well
people gave me shit and i listened so the teamwork on imposing those rules um now like
which what's the most op combo that exists and uh it was the m4 725 yeah yeah the m4 got nerfed i
still not terrible i don't know i don't know if there's a
better one now but uh yeah i'll run anything i don't care they they buff the uh smgs up quite
a bit i like the mp5 a lot i have a gold mp5 which means i've done every challenge that there is it's
not a huge feat or anything it's just three get three days of working hard at it if you can call that working hard or hard um and hard putting in the hours like a mp7 yeah like a worker on a oil rig yeah or a firefighter
you know saving a lot i mean i'm saving a lot like a first responder yeah exactly yeah exactly i get
there early stay late put in the hours mp7 is quite good p90 is kind of a
bullet you know people get real spongy takes a lot of bullets with the p90 um it's weird how that
becomes uh truth right like every video game shotgun bullets disappear at i'll make it up 20
yards something like that uh every video game p90 has a giant
magazine with low damage is that a p90 characteristic yeah oh okay well then yeah
the nine millimeter or something weird for a size gun uh it shoots 5.7 millimeter um which
is very similar to like an AR-15 but it's
a shorter cartridge but
it's still a high velocity
rifle
type round so it's very
good at penetrating but
it's not all that great at
knocking things down you know
and I mean in real life you get shot
with a gun
it's not good it depends on the scenario.
It depends on who you're shooting and what they're all about.
If somebody's all drugged up and enraged...
Not a juggernaut.
Not a juggernaut.
Yeah, if you're shooting a real-life juggernaut or something,
he might tank some P90 rounds and RL.
I mean, like a guy on meth, that's real-life juggernaut.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, kind of.
PCP, I guess, would be that. seems like people go totally insane on yeah i remember that cops episode where the guy just and punches through
that picket fence and they're just like whoa all right that fence didn't even do any that that
fence did nothing to him and we're about to try to arrest him let's let's let's take five here
boys and think this over all right, well, you can be on
your way.
You guys want to watch a video?
Sure. What do you got?
I have
a badass juggalo threatening
us. Not us, but we're
the viewer.
Oh, I thought this was the guy with the
knife, but this is different.
Yeah, I haven't seen this.
This guy has a metal pipe.
Kyle, I hope you mind your P's and Q's.
It's four minutes, but I've really enjoyed it.
Is he about to knock somebody's teeth out with that pipe?
Looks like a maglite.
Are you guys ready?
Yeah.
Taylor?
Yes. Ready, set, play. I want you motherfuckers to see something
you know what this is this is the handle to my fucking two-ton Jack mmm so
fucking steel oh my god I've seen this a long time ago this is so good first of
all it's not solid it's actually has lead pipe? And not in the back where my jacket is?
This guy's a real pussy.
Because if you fuck with me, only characters include.
You're going to get into the fucking head.
No way.
That's why.
Don't fuck with people in real life.
You have to fuck with people on the internet.
It's a girl.
She will fucking take you out.
What?
Because if you dared to fucking come up to me in person.
Look at this person.
That's a jug of lead.
In real life and fucking say shit to my face.
A jug of lead, I think.
This is what you're going to get.
I'm going to hop out of the fucking van with this in my hand.
And I'm going to fucking hit you in the head.
Bitch, I'm going to take that away from you.
As hard as I fucking can. can fucking crack your skull open and have your brains laying on the fucking ground motherfuckers
You're you're out of breath telling me how you
You said to edit your video because you're out of breath
get my head slept.
She just said something like, you know,
I'm from Morgantown, West Virginia.
You don't know.
You know, I could have guessed.
You're right, I don't know.
West Virginia was my first guess.
I would love to do battle with this one.
That's her best angle, Taylor.
From this angle, she kind of has a double chin.
She has no angles.
She's all spherical.
You're such a fucking pussy ass motherfucker.
You're actually complaining that the person you bullied left.
Someone's fucked that.
So that you don't have anyone left to bully.
She thinks that she was bullied, I think, in World of Warcraft, if I follow it right.
And after she left, they all kind of mocked her for leaving.
It's very much...
Part of me almost feels bad.
What do you do with this woman?
You can't feel bad.
She's threatening to beat you up with a pipe.
I think a good punch in the head would do a lot for her.
Oh, and have my arm absorbed?
That's how the blob eats, Kyle.
She's absorbing me!
She's absorbing me!
I'm trying to run away with the pole.
Whatever the fuck your fucking faggot ass name is.
It's doubling up.
Fuck you too, you piece of shit.
In about 30 seconds, she goes outside again.
She's got a dirty mouth.
She does. I dig it.
You know she talks dirty in bed.
It'd be harder.
Nobody is afraid of that hollow
jack candle that you have in your car that you keep on hand.
I hope she threatens this light again.
Oh watch! Oh my god I forgot!
Watch! You're gonna love this.
Please do a spin kick.
Take the first shot if you fucking dare.
Cause that's what I fucking learned in ninjutsu.
Ninjutsu! She's a ninja!
I wanna fight her so bad. She's a ninja!
It's unbelievably slow.
Taylor, you have no defense for this.
That's short.
You have no choice but to be low to the ground.
Gravity won't allow anything else. She's doing ninjutsu moves!
gravity won't allow anything doing ninjutsu moves bring it motherfuckers bring it you see my house you see where i fucking live bring that's called a recreational vehicle ma'am
look at that gun she saw she saw that clip of her kicking and thought yeah that's a little close out
right she saw her kick what i'm going to is 18, perhaps even 20 inches off the ground and thought,
this is my coup de grace.
I'm going to wrap up my video.
Do you think she actually followed through and she dieted and joined a gym?
That's actually what she calls her vagina, the coup de grace.
What a nasty bitch.
She's kind of frustrating because she's far too um confident in herself
she's far too confident like like like take a step back if you dare and and and just just
why are you threatening people in in a vlog where you're producing the lamest weapon i've ever seen
if she pulled out some nunchucks that would have been cool. If she'd been... Oh, and you get
past the nunchucks, this is here.
She's got a shuriken.
If she just kept pulling out ninja weapons,
it could have been funny.
Did you guys read the end credits
here? Yes.
Just wait, you fucking pussies.
I'm dieting, joining a gym, and
looking to take martial arts
classes again for the third time in my life.
Bring it, bitch.
Third class, maybe.
No, the third time.
I mean, the other times, she just gained more weight.
Those kicks aren't quite as easy as they used to be.
Now there's a lot of ankle strength.
I think she has an unhealthy relationship with food.
I think she might actually be dead now.
That's that level of fat but from what i can tell
she's somewhere between 17 years old and 51 right that level of fat it's just like it's confusing
like it looks like an enormous baby someone linked me to a reddit uh 13 or 30 yes yeah it's really funny there's one of this of this mugshot
of a guy who's like balding up here has long straight hair and has like a little bit of
stubble but also like the most feminine eyes and features and it's like are you 15 are you 31
are you a man a woman it looks like everything and nothing
help me with the name he's a singer i think he's uk he was in game of thrones and it might be
something ed sheeran i was gonna say she handed all right so ed sheeran 13 or 30 man that guy
fits i've seen him on that sub and i'm like, you're right. Maybe you need to see the picture. Yeah, I'm sure there's certain images where it could happen.
He's kind of like a pudgy redhead.
Yeah.
He's very good friends with Taylor Swift, though.
I'm pretty sure he's fucked all her friends.
You know what? I'm on board with this guy.
Yeah, no, you're winning me over. I didn't know that.
Yeah, he's very good friends with Taylor Swift.
I bet her friends are hot.
Do you think he fucks taylor
swift no apparently not they're just friends but he fucks all her all of her friends that's i i
read the uh his interview and her interviews were in howard stern's book as i read them both
oh nice yeah she's like yeah i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure he he they both sort of like, were like, yeah, Taylor Swift's the best wing man ever.
Damn.
Well, good.
Yeah.
I've mentioned this as a topic before.
We were talking about Michael Jackson being gay
and famine and this and that.
One of the guys in my high school was like,
dude, he gets way more pussy than anyone here combined.
Yeah, but it's like seven-year-olds. it was like you think michael jackson pussy i don't think he did not strike me
as a pussy hound he striked me almost as like an arrested development because my dad beat me and
made me sing and so i never like never had normal relationships i would almost believe it when he's like oh we were
just sleeping together it's like you kind of are unique did you watch the documentary taylor
i haven't i like to make up my mind with no evidence you have to watch that documentary
is it well it convinced you that he didn't do it it convinced me that he did do it i was on the
other side i was like you i was i was like, look, this is a guy who's arrested development.
He's always going to be a child.
Like I've even heard maybe he was chemically castrated so that he could keep that voice.
But then I watched that documentary and to hear like two or three different boys like describe the grooming process and how the sexual abuse ramped up over time and these
like random stories about how like like um after like this weird sexual thing that he did to one
of the boys like he called the boy after i fucked him in the ass or something he like called the boy
and was like hey where are those underwear that you're wearing and And he's like, they're in the hamper. He's like, I need them.
They've got blood on them.
Your mom can't see those underwear.
We've got to get rid of those underwear.
And it was a whole thing.
He thought about it after the fact.
And he was like, so I had to go get the underwear out of the hamper.
And sure enough, there was some blood on them.
Had to get rid of them.
Michael made sure I did.
What does mom think when a kid comes home with no underwear or missing underwear i guess
yeah tell me why is your asshole open
you have seven pair of underwear and one of them has gone missing like i don't know i had an i i
don't know how many pairs i had as a kid and i don't think anybody else did you know what i mean
you're doing a total count, but if you had a
sleepover, and then you came home
with all your clothes except the underwear from the day
before...
It depends how different families do laundry, I think.
I would never let my children go to his house.
At my house, everything just went in a big hamper
and then got dumped into the thing, and then it came
out of the dryer, and nobody was counting or taking
stock of how much underwear
there was or wasn't, you know.
Sometimes you have bloody shits.
Kyle goes to sleep over at a
friend's house. He brought
a new shirt, pair of pants, and underwear and socks.
And then when he came home,
he had all yesterday's clothing, but his underwear is missing.
Like, there's not a lot to track there.
Your underwear is gone.
If you did laundry, like literally every day.
He was crying about being molested
so you're doing it in the laundry process i'm making sure my kid didn't leave things i have
to make sure you didn't leave your coat there too you know like that's oh this was a yeah she
wasn't keeping that kind of track on him i can't recall which boy it was but i think this might
have been the one who's like his his mom literally moved from australia to maybe LA so that he could be closer
to Michael.
Hmm.
And the father killed himself back in Australia.
Yeah.
Okay.
You're winning me over.
And there's one point where she's like,
I guess they asked her a question off screen and she goes,
yes.
Um,
that's when Michael gave me the house.
I know it doesn't look good and you're like what kind of house was it is this a mr beast video that we're talking about like a like a
regular like 125k home is this an rv no this was like a half million dollar home somewhere that like michael was like he he fucked his son
oh and he gets any so he repeatedly molested this kid over and over yeah that's what he does
or he did according to these kids is like like he starts off like making them his friend and
then slowly over time like mutual masturbation and a little bit of oral and then as they got
older it ramps up like maybe he starts
when they're nine but by the time they're like 13 or 14 he gets rid of them by 15 or so 16
michael would have kept me around michael would have been like woody you're sorry i get you 16
and normally kids i've never had a 28 year old before normally kids damn, young man. Spoiled at 16, but you have no armpit
hair and no leg hair.
You're great, Woody.
I'll keep you up. I would have been like 11.
He's like, get this adult out of my face.
He got hair on his ass.
Taylor once described
that puberty hit him like a freight
train, right? He went from boy to man in a period of weeks or months.
Yeah.
My puberty hit me like a Ford Pinto or something.
Like it just slowly creeped in and never seemed to like until older.
But like I was like, oh, well, puberty is here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now I'm going to catch people.
Now I'm going to have muscles like that guy or leg hair armpit hair like that guy no i remember
getting made fun of for my voice cracking in like seventh grade or whatever sixth grade i don't
remember it must have been traumatic well no but at the time when you're going through it first
you are the other one and like you don't have the cognitive thought
of like yeah well guess what bitch i i'm growing hair i'm taller than you you still got a baby dick
i like your mom i fucked your i said i was more she said i was more man than your father
yeah me and your dad had a size comparison in front of your mom. I cucked your dad. I cucked your dad.
Yeah.
Your dad watched from his corner.
This is good trash talk.
You would dominate 7th grade.
Yeah. And I did better on the spelling test.
That I believe.
Yeah.
At the time you don't think about it
but it should be like, yeah bitch.
Yeah right. I'm going through it.
Look at you, all tall and strong and probably kick my ass.
You're like, yeah, these things, one, they don't hurt my feelings,
and two, you're right about the last one.
Yeah, but at the time, you're just like, no, you shouldn't make fun of me.
Have you guys seen any of the new episodes of everything uh rick and morty
mandalorian um i saw all right mandalorian sucked right it was the better kind of like two episodes
what you like the second one more i love this here's my take on it no plot advancement i don't
want to give away too much but i'll say this Where the first one left off is where the second one left off.
At the end of the first one, we introduce a new character that he is going to potentially take in for a bounty.
At the end of the second one, there's a side quest for no particular reason.
And then he has the same damn character that he's going to take in for a bounty potentially.
But we learn things about the side character and the side character and the Mandalorianorian bonded also i i i meant to say it when we're doing the show that's
neither boba fett nor jango fett that is simply a mandalorian bounty hunter separate from from the
fets okay yeah um yeah i liked it a lot i thought it really showed off a bit of the badassery of the
mandalorian i thought it was very. I loved seeing what the side character fellow
who's in that little egg did.
His little
thing he did.
I liked his reaction
to the Mandalorian killing people. He was just
like, hmm.
I thought the Mandalorian
was almost not badass.
In the first one,
you mentioned that he's bulletproof or
blaster proof or something nothing happens is no big deal etc in the second one he lost
all his fights most his fights like well it was 1v50 for the first shot for the first fight and
he disintegrated like a dozen of them and and it wasn't that they
beat him as much as he fell off of their like moving these castle shock and yeah you know he
was climbing a rope and he didn't he couldn't ads and then then he lost to that gigantic animal but
you know he ended up defeating it with the knife by the way with the help of his friend that was
crazy cool that thing was it's called a mudhorn or something like that it was like a giant furry rhinoceros the size of a
house well some people's houses and and no i loved it i thought it was very good the only
complaint was that it seemed to be about half an hour whereas the first one i thought was about an
hour to me that's gonna be the trend the change between shows was alarming like i
watched the mandalorian i'm like huh seven out of ten like you've captured my interest eight out of
ten i watched the second one and i'm like oh is this where we're headed dumbass side quests very
little dialogue no plot advancement and by the way i looked on reddit and there were a lot of
people who shared that same opinion well majority rules i suppose but i i definitely enjoyed it i liked it better than
the first one um wish i like i want to like it new rick and morty was very interesting
was it funny it was dark is what it was it was dark it was another one of those where at the end
you're like well shit that's i think going
too dark and not funny enough how many episodes are there rick and morty two out so far the one
you were you were telling taylor after you see the scene at the dinner table call at the dinner
table yeah no wait which episode are we talking about one and it's at the very beginning of the
episode no it's when there are wasps eating something alive on a dinner table.
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
At the very beginning, it's actually breakfast.
Yeah, they often are around the dinner table.
I was like, why did Kyle find this so dark?
It wasn't that impactful to me at all.
I must have missed a subtlety.
Run, my babies, run!
Is it on Hulu?
I purchased it, but I believe it does show up on Hulu after a few days.
I just like owning them.
But I think it's probably on Hulu.
And then I think there's another show that's out.
Oh, The Expanse comes out next month, I think.
New season of that.
And I think we'll get to binge that.
I think they give us of that. And I think we'll get to binge that. I think that'll just...
I think they give us all that at once. So if you
remember last season, they opened a
portal to another fucking galaxy
or another universe or some shit, and there's a planet
on the other side. And they're like,
you guys have to go explore it. And it's like, well,
who's going to go? You know, the main cast members.
Oh, great.
Just like the king in...
The king was like the lead swordsman
sure yeah yeah i i don't know if that's the way they did things back then but i it's great for
for stories i don't know i don't know you wouldn't think so it's certainly not like in braveheart you
didn't see a lot of that of course that's not exactly a documentary is it um yeah not particularly
yeah so yeah i i enjoyed both those shows there's i thought there was a third one that i was documentary, is it? Not particularly.
I enjoyed both those shows.
I thought there was a third one that I was thinking of that came out with a new episode this week, but I can't
think of what it is.
You're not thinking of South Park?
Yes, I am thinking of South Park. Oh, that was the best of them
all, maybe. The new episode
of South Park is hilarious.
They have
a... I'm not going to spoil anything i'm just going to
tell you like the premise and the premise is that they have a strong woman competition and of course
there's a character called strong woman and she's the reigning champion and she gets there and there
is a trans athlete and the guy's like it's not she um heather isn't your average trans person and she's like
that i don't know if she says it or if pc principal does he he's like what do you mean
average what do you mean an average trans person what exactly is that i won't stand for bigotry
and then you see heather and you're like oh no oh It's great. It's real funny.
I'm the strongest woman in the world.
Oh, yeah.
Is it just Macho Man Randy Savage?
It's Macho Man Randy Savage.
It's the Macho Man Randy Savage.
Yeah, he shows up.
How did you know that?
Because he has this voice where he's,
I'm going to take you down.
Strong woman.
Oh, so you've seen it.
I saw that one.
Yeah.
I thought out of the blue,
Taylor.
I'm like,
how could that be?
Well,
that's why it's so funny.
The macho man,
Randy Savage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's really funny.
Yeah.
I knew what the premise was going to be before I watched it.
Didn't take anything away from it,
but what I did do to prep for it, and I recommend anybody else who has the opportunity to do this as well does,
just go on YouTube and search Best of Macho Man Randy Savage and watch like five minutes of that.
Watch his interviews in particular when he's on the microphone and he's undeniably in a situation that he would not like to be in right now.
And he is.
I am the cream.
And the cream always rises to the top and he keeps doing like sleight of hand magic and pulling more cups of cream out of nowhere seemingly
yes like at one point he puts it in the guy's pocket and the guy doesn't notice
so like he goes i am the cream and the guy's like he puts one on his head and he's
balanced he's like on balance off balance it doesn't matter the cream rises to the top i want
is he alive no he died of a heart attack i believe uh due to cocaine use oh yeah, yeah. Oh, I didn't know. He was dead.
Brendan Schwab said he would happily die at 50
if he could live a rock star life.
And he kind of is, right?
But the UFC fighter,
the collegiate athlete thing,
those guys get tons of tail.
And now he's got his podcast success.
He's rich and famous.
And I guess maybe it was in reference to steroids but he was absolutely saying
i'd much rather live an awesome life to 50 than a full life to like 75 i feel like people say that
until they're like in their 40s right i'm 40 i'm 46 and i'm like ah i don't know if 50s feeling
shortish to me and a lot of life doesn't start right away. You know, like
your first 20 some years are
stuck in school and bullshit.
Yeah.
Let's watch this. I didn't really get going
until like early 20s. Right?
It's funny you mentioned Joe Rogan and Brennan Sharp
because I've got a little video here.
I've got a little video.
One moment please.
This is on TV.
I'm ready. I'm at zero. video. One moment please. I'm ready.
I'm at zero.
Ready, set, play.
He is exactly like you in every way.
Except one eighth your size.
Oh Jesus.
I shall call him...
Mini-Me.
So we're watching a deep fake
where Austin Powers is Joe Rogan
and Brennan Schwab is Mini-Me.
And Scott is Theo Vaughn.
And Eggo.
And Eggo.
No, we don't gnaw on our keys.
Leave mini...
No.
Leave mini Mr. Bigglesworth alone.
Just love him, stroke him.
As you know,
every diabolical scheme that I've had
has been thwarted by Austin Powers.
Because you never kill him when you get the chance to
and you're a big dope.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
It's so good that it made me want to see that movie.
Obviously, Brennan Schaub can't play Mini-Me,
but I want to see Joe Rogan play Dr. Evil now.
We're going to poison the entirety of North America.
We're going to expose them to DMT.
Expose them to DMT.
We're going to pollute the entire beef product population of the world with elk meat.
Everyone will become extremely aggressive.
It's making you more aggressive?
No, Joe, you fucking maniac.
That's my favorite thing. I've never even seen it. just like your version did you see ben askren retired good good i like him on my tv
ben askren is a ufc fighter he was 19 and oh no 18 and oh he came in the ufc won his first match
he was really just one win away from the title shot and he lost and then
he lost another one who did he lose to the second time uh like this most recent one yeah do you
remember um yeah it was um damien maia damien maia yeah it's kind of close but not really
okay wasn't a whooping so um he has a hip problem and it looks like it got medical and i don't understand
he's like it's not a hip replacement it's a and it was like a croters operation or something like
i don't i don't know anything about that but it's something less aggressive than a full hip
replacement and uh once you have this surgery which needs, you don't go back into professional athletics.
So that's where he is.
And he actually, dude, his interview was great, of course.
That's one of his greatest qualities, he interviews well.
He's like, one, don't get it wrong.
I lost to those two people because they were better than me.
I'm not trying to make that excuse.
We don't read this that way.
And he's like, two, I was actually really grateful for my UFC time
I got the fights I wanted I'm appreciative of that I won my first fight if I had beat that
I thought that Jorge Masvidal was the easiest title shot lost that in five seconds and you know
then I lost another one and that was that i wanted to see how i would do i always
wondered and i'm glad that question's answered yeah i i hope he goes on and does something else
um i i'd love to see some kind of show where maybe him and honestly like who's the other guy
that like yeah like a show where like like he goes around and does stuff um are you thinking
of forrest griffin no i don't like forrest griffin oh i know who it is it's um it's the guy
from the netherlands boss boss i want to see boss rootin and uh and him and and um what's his name
here the curly haired guy we're just asking i want to see askren and boss rootin have their
own reality show where they travel around and look for fighters or something crazy i don't care what
they do but i want them together doing a show that was i would i would watch the shit out of that show boss rutens do
one note for me he sticks his he does the finger thing he says bing when he hits people and that's
his gig that's it i like him a lot okay i like him a lot i definitely i prefer him over Brendan Shaw big time.
I can see why somebody would,
but I think I'm on the other side.
Yeah.
Well, that's an hour.
All right.
Well, I'm going to get a little food,
and I'm going back into the world of Tarkov.
I'm going to get frustrated by streaming things.
Yeah, I'm sure if you swing over to one of the discords,
you could probably find somebody to assist you.
Yeah.
Just ping me if you need me for something or if you go live or something.
I'll tune in and check it out.
Okay, appreciate it.
Where are you going to go tonight?
I don't think you can stream simultaneously.
I think that's actually kind of a no-no.
I think I'd probably do uh youtube tonight
if i can even get it going if not i'll pop over to twitch and just see how that goes
so if if at all you know hopefully but you know i i am i'm getting it going people i'm getting
this going you know i'm not dragging my feet the fucking pc took a month and two days to get here i think they're gonna love you
i hope so i'm not positive you're gonna love it but i'm positive they're gonna love you
i don't think so yeah you're right i'm gonna hate you this guy fucking sucks 274