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PKN 276.
What's up, boys?
Hello there.
Hello there.
How was everyone's Thanksgiving?
Oh.
Even better question.
Is this the PKN after Thanksgiving?
I guess it is.
Hmm.
Is it?
I just kept pushing mine forward.
We're doing it Friday.
Wait, are you fucking serious?
No, this is going to be a trending thing.
It's going to keep going forever.
It's a new test pole topic.
It's coming.
Wait, was it last time?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was the 28th, the last Thursday in November.
So this is the first thing we've done since.
Well, I had an excellent Thanksgiving, but Jackie didn't.
And it's kind of a mild bummer.
So we didn't have anyone this year.
I was sitting at the table just roasting her with a bunch of bangers.
She didn't care.
I don't know what her problem was.
No, no.
A pilgrim wouldn't eat this.
A pilgrim.
Hope had Thanksgiving with her boyfriend.
It was literally just Jackie, me, and Colin.
And I'm like, is fine you know I
don't need strangers I'm oftentimes I find myself in this role of like
entertaining right what do you give us an antidote or whatever it is and I can
do that for short periods of time and then it's just like I need to go in my
cave and recharge but there was none of that. It was just me, Jackie, Colin. She made enough food for 18 people, I'd estimate.
And I overate and chilled.
And I got all the good stuff and none of the bad.
That was my take on it.
I think Jackie would have liked having a lot of family surrounding her, but not this year.
What was the top food item on the menu?
So we, of course, there was turkey.
There was some sort of green thing.
There was stuffing. There was
gravy.
Green thing never wins.
I'm trying to picture this
green thing. Is this a green bean casserole
or a jello mold? No, no, something simpler.
It was like green beans or spinach or something
like that, like a vegetable.
Oh, and then she makes this like
cranberry marshmallow thing that I fell in love with
when my mom made it 30 years ago or something.
And I've just had it every Thanksgiving
and pretty much only Thanksgiving ever since.
Yeah.
There's a lot, there's a couple of foods like,
like why do we, why do we only eat those foods on that day?
And yet when we eat them, we're like, man, this is good.
And it's not because they're so much more fattening than our regular diets necessarily.
This one might be.
I mean, if you eat a burger and fries, you're putting down like 1,200 calories.
Like, you could totally eat 1,000 calories of turkey and trash can gravy easily.
Okay, okay.
I get you there.
calories of turkey and trash can gravy and easily okay okay i get you there but this casserole thing i'm talking about is sweet potatoes cranberry sauce oats or something and then marshmallows
it's just like potatoes with sugar on it and then okay that's kind of sugar i hear you you think
it's dessert but it's not they slip it in with the meal there's pie afterwards it's oh yeah it's
basically dessert in disguise.
It's something.
Yeah, they do that with sweet potato casserole too.
And cranberry sauce.
I mean, it's not like cranberry sauce
is some sort of savory, healthy food.
Is sweet potato casserole what I'm talking about
with cranberry sauce and marshmallows in it?
No, there's no cranberry sauce in sweet potatoes.
It's sweet potatoes and marshmallows
with like a crispy sweet crust type thing. Yeah yeah it's a whole different thing but it's
kind of similar it sounds it sounds similar i heard people making fun of this dish so it's a
dish that other people have heard of you know it's not unique to my family and it was like yeah you
guys you can make fun of it all you want um thanks it's coming and she'll make it for me so yeah
yeah i i uh i really like the thanksgiving foods I especially like, we don't do stuffing, or traditionally my family doesn't do stuffing.
We do dressing, which is more of a southern thing.
It's like a cornbread dressing.
I prefer that so, so much more.
I really like it.
It's got sage in there and poultry seasoning.
It smells like memories gone by.
It's great.
I like that description.
Taylor, I assume you had
four servings and there were 30 left over yeah yeah right about that like it my my grandma didn't
even make didn't even make that much because we did it at my aunt's house she's like i'm not
bringing that much too much trouble to do that and then she shows up with so much like beef tenderloin and steaks and things.
And so like, I'm of the opinion, like, like I eat my favorite thing and then I'll eat
my second favorite thing.
And then I'll eat, like, I like go down the line on, on holidays.
Like obviously real life, you can't do that.
Or you just like be even fatter than I am now.
But like, it was like, oh, turkey.
Sorry.
Usually fried turkey is
my number one choice but beef tenderloin supersedes you so i'm gonna have to eat about 10 ounces of
steak and then move on to turkey and then eat a bunch of turkey and then i'm gonna get a big fat
fucking sweet potato baked sweet potato i love those and then i'm gonna get some mac and cheese
and then i'm gonna get a salad uh this time like i was trying to rationalize to myself
like oh this is you know if i just put butter and salt this is totally healthy but the amount
of butter i put on was egregious butter and salt are pretty much health foods they really are my
friend told me that yeah yeah but so i ate a fuck ton and then on saturday i had it with my my dad
side of the family and because by that point everybody's had like two Thanksgivings,
except for Kyle who was still waiting on one.
Oh, I already had my first.
I had my first one.
See, that's the thing.
I got my first Thanksgiving knocked out like 10 days before actual Thanksgiving.
That's a high IQ move.
Yeah.
You beat everybody to Thanksgiving.
Here I thought you were lagging.
Yeah, so the Saturday one, everybody's tired of Thanksgiving food, That's a high IQ move. Yeah. You beat everybody to Thanksgiving. Here I thought you were lagging. Yeah.
So the Saturday one, everybody's tired of Thanksgiving food.
And so everybody brings like pastas and garlic bread and like Italian salads and things.
And so I just sat and ate so much Mastacholi.
And then, fuck, what else did we have?
I want to be like, you know, that's what a fat person would do meanwhile I had Thanksgiving dinner for breakfast I'm
sorry for lunch and dinner for the next six days in a row so sandwiches
afterwards oh that's the best part of Thanksgiving are the sandwiches you make
afterward the same like a turkey skin sandwich the next day I would straight
up have like the same plate I had for Thanksgiving like that cranberry stuff
no one else eats it and there's nine ten servings there she needs to make that in a ramekin she
needs to make this one individual here you go go to hell Kyle she doesn't need to do that at all
every three years I will try the cranberry sauce again because by that point I'll have hyped
myself to like you know what it's probably thanksgiving food for a reason i can't even remember what it tastes like at this
point and then i'll try it by like ah yeah there's a reason this is eaten once a year i hate this
yeah it's not good it's way too tart i'm sure it's good in whatever what he's got because it sounds
like some sort of it's just one of the ingredients yeah yeah um i yeah i like a small dose of
cranberry sauce whatever spoonful gets it done for me did Did you do any Black Friday or Cyber Monday purchases?
I didn't even know I was doing it,
but I bought an Instant Pot on Monday.
Oh, they're great.
You're going to love that.
Well, my girlfriend texted me,
and she's like,
these Instant Pots are so neat.
And I was like, Christmas done.
Yeah.
I bought two things.
So do you want to go, Kyle?
Sorry.
No, no, I'm just, I was just, what?
That's the whole Christmas, the Instant Pot?
No, no, no.
We've discussed it.
We got our vacuum cleaner too, Kyle.
Here's some 409 and some Windex too.
Go at it.
I got our Lysol wipes.
And I don't mean to tell you anything,
but here's some exercise equipment.
My father did that one year.
He got her. I don't even see that as mean.
Yes.
He got your mom like an ab roller for Christmas?
Oh, no.
It was a whole, like, okay, he was sending a message.
And it wasn't a nice one.
That's what I'm getting at.
I'm sure it wasn't just an ab roller.
I'm sure he got her like a fucking bow flex for ladies or something no it was like gift
after gift after gift all wrapped individually one piece of exercise equipment after another
like there was you know a bunch of weights cheering up on the third gift oh the fifth
it's a full torrent yes these are just pregnancy pants dude it was a i'm a kid like i
don't i'm young at this point i don't know what's up and and like she's being very upset it led into
a whole fight he ruined christmas in an effort to say yeah and it wasn't like I've said it but I feel like I haven't emphasized
it there were no good presents this year you know it wasn't like he slipped in an
ab roller amongst a Merry Christmas you know he took this Christmas off and just
gave her 16 different pieces of exercise gear.
Oh my God.
She gets the little gift.
She's like, well, this one's probably jewelry.
Hydroxy cut.
Dude, this is beyond alpha.
I don't know if that's the right word.
Okay.
Well, it's hilarious.
Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well, it's hilarious. Taylor, I think I've changed my mind. I'm not going to marry you.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
He went hard in the paint that year, and there was nothing redeeming. It was just straight-up exercise gear.
And there was no premise of, like, I thought you might like it.
It was, well, I think that you need this.
Holy shit. of like i thought you might like it it was well i think that you need this and holy shit i would use exercise equipment like as a gift to give myself something that i want to i'm like oh she's
like oh thank you two 45 pound bumper plates with customized to have the entire hill family on it
from king of the hill i don't even like that show I must have been thinking to me that is funny yeah it's so um it's Black Friday or Cyber Monday something like that I'm
like I should go shopping for Jackie and like two things happen one I'm like you
just shopping around what's on sale what do we got here? Oh, GoPro 8. I'm a couple GoPro versions behind.
And so I got one of those for me.
And then I carry a flashlight in my pocket all the time,
I like it because it's everyday carry people.
I love it, love it.
And, but this new flashlight is awesome and it's red.
So I got that for me.
And that's it.
Sorry, honey, we'll let to think of you some
other day Merry Christmas Jackie I'm able to record your reaction to having
this well you can look at this flashlights look at your pupils Wow I'm
running now and nice so I saw this YouTube challenge.
I mentioned it before.
A mile a day for 30 days.
Cool.
But the GoPro 8 has this rock steady stabilization built into it.
So I can hold it and talk to it for a little bit.
I can't run and talk that well.
And the idea is to make a compilation video.
Here's me day one, day three, day nine.
See how the 30 days went. And I'm like, this GoPro will be perfect.
I shouldn't wait any longer.
I hope Jackie doesn't get an ab roller for Christmas.
I hope you don't go that route. By the way, the Instant Pot is
awesome. You eat that brown rice shit.
How do you make it when you cook it now? You eat that brown rice shit like... Oh, almost every day I eat brown rice.
How do you make it when you cook it now?
Like in a pot on the stove.
How long does it take?
Way longer than an instant pot.
I already looked it up.
Instant pot's like...
Well, it's pretty instant.
Yeah.
I think it's like a one to two ratio of rice to water and then you press start.
You actually just press rice and like-
It actually takes me no time
because my girlfriend does it for me.
Yeah, oh, well, this is a gift for her now.
She doesn't have to sit at the pot making your rice.
Yeah, I love the rice.
I'm more excited about roasts.
Like I love roasts. I use a slow cooker for that.
Yeah, I have a slow cooker too,
but I think you can like speed up the slow cooking.
Oh, that's pressure cooking.
Yeah. Yeah, that's what an instant pot is
it's a pressure cooker it does everything it does like it'll make porridge and rice it'll make uh
it'll make pot roasts it'll you can you can pressure cook a ham you can do anything i'm
over here thinking jackie needs one of these merry christmas baby yeah she probably like it no she
wouldn't i can tell you why 48 get after it oh is that what it
is i got a kitchen aid mixer right at the time the internet was going crazy right out of one
at the time the internet was going crazy for kitchen aid mixers they were all like these
are the best things they're so durable that this is the mixer that you want and uh i got it for her
and now even several years later she likes that mixer right she's like that i'm really
glad that i have this but they're real fucking nice this was a shitty present she's not she's
still thinking that i should have got her something worthless and shiny really oh she doesn't that's
what she wants if you'd gotten me a kitchenaid mixer you'd have you got taken care of right
then and there those are a few. Is that all for still open?
I've already got one.
Ah, shit.
Maybe if you get me the attachment that makes sausage, it would be.
You know, there's an ice cream maker attachment.
I already have an ice cream maker.
We do too.
Yeah.
Now that I think about it.
Yeah.
I got the meat grinding attachment.
And so I put like chuck steak in there and make my own burgers.
Hmm.
Oh, that sounds good. It's great It just apparently the KitchenAid mixer is like as good as they used to make them, you know
The things that the appliances that lasted 30 years. Yeah, they're legit as fuck
I want I saw a whole reddit post the other day where I got found wanted a garage sale and like completely
Disassembled and reassembled and made it good as new and it was like, yeah, there we go. They're expensive, like 280 bucks, I think.
$279.99 if I'm on prices right.
Restaurant quality.
You're real good at that.
Like, I'm pretty sure that's spot on.
Google it for me.
Google it for me.
Okay, let's see.
Let's go to Amazon.
And let's hit up KitchenAid mixer oh there's so many different options a 279 dollars the best
choice although it was 279 zero zero it's true you're over yeah I don't think you... Ooh, I'm sorry. Yeah, so close. Fuck you, Amazon.
God.
Yeah, I love those things a lot.
I don't do much baking, but I am prepared if I ever do.
But I mostly use it for, like I said, for grinding meat as a meat grinder almost exclusively.
And it's awesome.
So awesome to like...
It's really satisfying to like... You freeze the meat slightly before you put it in
so that it shreds better.
Like you don't freeze a solid,
you just chill it for like half an hour in the freezer.
And like when you're just mashing that down in there
with the like the plastic pokey stick,
it's just, at first it's going,
na, na, na, na, na, na, na,
and then the meat hits it and goes,
na, na, na, na, na, na,
and then the meat just starts spewing out all ground up.
It's really satisfying.
It's the same kind of like satisfying feeling you get
when you watch videos online of cars being thrown
into those grinders or dead cows being thrown
into those grinders.
It's just neat.
Yeah, I like those a lot.
I love when you throw the dead cows in.
That's the kind of job like that,
if I would have watched that clip when I was 11,
I'd be like, man man i'm never gonna get
good enough grades to throw car parts into a grinder pipe dream taylor a pipe dream put that
next to astronaut and things you're doing working hard young man yeah keep working hard someday you
can be the guy with work gloves and a car heart you t-shirt throwing dead animal parts in there.
With eight fingers.
Not cows. I don't think I've ever seen cows.
Pigs, I think. I've seen cows.
You want to see cows right now?
I've got cows. It's really satisfying.
These things have those teeth that
roll together.
The opposing
things that do that.
They just tear chunk after chunk after chunk after chunk,
and then 10 seconds, an entire cow has been ground down
to pieces the size of a cell phone.
It's brutal.
Like dog food or something.
Yeah.
It's hard to watch.
I don't feel like it would hurt that much to fall in.
You know, I'm pretty sure it'd be excruciating.
Not for long, though.
Not for long, though.
Like it's better than burning alive yes yeah i i thought of
it as the worst possible thing and then as i process it shucks i think after i lose an arm
and a leg i just tuck my head in there oh i'm going head first anyway right well i i assume
that like i'm fighting it at first at first I'm dancing on top of the blades as soon
as I lose an ankle I curl my head in
grab the blades no no not like that yeah yeah like those lumberjacks on the, you know, spinning log. Yeah, exactly like that
until you make one wrong move and then you're
ground ankles up.
Yeah.
Dude, I imagine if there's
been a couple cows in front of me, it's slippery too.
I'd like to request to go
before the cows.
There's a lot of viscera on there after you've thrown a cow in.
I didn't watch the competition.
I don't know what it's called.
It's like a great American lumberjack challenge or something.
Sure.
Sure.
I've definitely gotten drunk in college, come home from a bar and been like, you know, I'm
going to watch lumberjack competitions on YouTube by myself for two hours.
That's my favorite event.
My favorite event is the tree climb when they just run like crazy straight of a tree
with the spikes and the rope, and then seemingly have no fear of just sliding back down it.
And they jump from 100 feet.
They can pretty much.
I don't think you could jump from 100 feet, but they can somehow.
I mean, they slow themselves like on the way down.
And they've got a pad at the bottom.
You know what another fun competition to watch on youtube
are the obese guys who are really into having very sharp knives and swinging them at water bottles
i've seen those i've never seen a thin person attempt a sharp knife challenge it's always some
guy who's got like you know tactical boots on and it's like dude if shit goes down you're only prepared for the food shortage you know what else is fun the um
like fireman ladder climbing competitions where they have to go up a couple stories and they hang
it in the windows and yeah these guys run up vertical walls as quickly as i can run on flat
ground maybe faster yeah I've learned is
six miles an hour over the course of an hour I really like I even like the the
thing Taylor's talking about where they swing the knives actually enjoy that
competition like they do one on the history channel they have I think there's
two different channels one might be I'm what two different shows I think one
might be on discovery Greg Stevenson has just cut through nine dasanis
this is brought to you by coca-cola i think one of them in at least because i was watching it
when i was in prison um it was about creating the knife like you they're like all right today we're
making meat like a meat cleaver and uh and so like three or four teams it's usually it was when i watched it was two guys
like a master and apprentice they hammer they completely forge a brand new blade of whatever
specification the the judges have asked for and then the judges put it through like like torture
tests like like they chop coconuts in half with it and then look at the edge to see if it's chipped
or anything like that or they slice through all those Dasani bottles or whatever the hell.
And it was pretty cool, not only because you get to see the forging process, but then, you know, somebody actually does something with it.
It was, you know.
The one that I like so much, I want to say they often use a cleaver.
Like, it's a substantial knife, not a pocket knife.
And they have to chop a bunch of different things.
So it's like, all right, chop this log in whatever,
as few hits as you can.
So you want something like an ax.
And then they'll be, okay, now I want you to slice paper.
Now I want you to slice a rope while it's hanging.
And a lot of these things have, in my mind,
like a different perfect knife.
So they have to make a knife that's so good
that it can fill all those roles.
And it's pretty impressive to watch I think there's technique
involved to a great knife and a great swordsman I like how they call it their
blades not their knife or their swords their blades Damascus steel blade and
it's like dude this is so fucking funny honey please please get a job we have kids working on my blade skill honey first prize is a
$50 gift card to Wendy's that's Thanksgiving yeah I um I've been playing Call of Duty like I still
play it and I'm not good I'm better than I was but not good and I've been playing Call of Duty. Like, I still play it. And I'm not good. I'm better than I was, but not good.
And I've been watching Sandy Ravage's live streams a bunch.
I've been watching him for a couple months now, right?
He does the American Truck Driver Simulator and some shooters and stuff like that.
And he was playing doubles with Hutch.
Cool.
Fun to watch.
They had a good chemistry.
And then Hutch had to go.
And I'm in chat just like goofing
about and whatever and the whole chat asks for me to play with sandy doubles there's no place to
hide in doubles right like no you can't just like camp in doubles and and hope that no one notices
you went eight and seven or something like that or i'll you know, like, sure, I'm in.
It seemed like a good time.
And I warned him, like, look, you know, we might lose some games.
And if that happens, it will be my fault.
That's where I am on this.
There was a time where I was an asset to the team,
and that time seems to have passed.
There are games where we lose because I'm on it.
First round was amazing.
Sandy, I think, if I remember right,
Sandy damaged his guy.
There's no healing in doubles.
And then left me in a 1v2 with pistols.
Now, I don't know why.
Oh, it's like search and destroy rules.
Like, once you're dead, you're dead.
Yes.
Yeah.
And it's, you could almost, yeah, like search, but... And you don't heal. 2v2 okay and it's you could almost yeah like search but uh and you don't heal
2v2 and there's no healing so and i i finished sandy's guy but that wasn't too hard because
sandy had him 80 killed and then i'm 1v1 with my own and uh i pop out across map with a deagle
bang bang zip i was the best version of me and the whole stream was spectating through you know
because he was dead
and uh it was like oh my god well water found its level after that but it was a blast
you're like oh no i've said expectations so much yes yeah you should be like all right
well this has been a great time i've really enjoyed this dude All downhill from here, Franklin. I rode his backpack.
We'd win games.
I would go like, I'll say three kills, six deaths.
Sandy's going 12 and two.
You know, just like wrecking it.
It's me and Mike Tyson in a street fight out there having a blast.
We lost some games too, and it was always my fault.
Even if we got wrecked, like 6-2, whoever gets six wins uh sandy would be positive and i would be embarrassingly like bad negative
but i watched his stream is he like is his viewership like we're here for high quality
video games like way more than no no he he's more fun than that. As a matter of fact, I would say that this American Truck Simulator is like half his streaming.
And he's got all kinds of memes.
He plays Country Roads.
He plays Would He Be Good, the song I made ages ago.
And everyone, it's just fun.
He has a viewership that's fun.
He's still beast.
He's still so good.
But yeah, anyway, so we had a blast and i think i'll
play with him some more but it was fun to be dude i kept thinking of like if you play with wings and
you don't play well there is no like that's okay you know i don't know many people as good as sandy
whose identity isn't built their sense of self-worth isn't built around winning right he
doesn't give a fuck if he wins or not like it's totally fine you know like he goes 11 and 2 i go
5 and 6 and he's like we did it yeah we we did that you and i together it um i don't know i it
means it's like a big deposit the emotional banking i've talked about when uh when he's
cool even though I'm not.
So we'll have to play again.
But it was fun.
I got carried last night by Sandy.
I guess on stream, Wing said that he had a refrigerator full of Sunny Delight because it was on sale.
No, that's like worse than soda.
And they were like, oh, it's the worst.
And he was like, you know, it's good for you.
Fall in for 90s TV commercial tropes.
I don't think so, man. I'm pretty sure there's less than 2% juice in Sunny Delight.
It's literally Fanta without the carbonation.
It's orange drink.
Is Sunny D bad for you?
I made the joke.
Sunny D may contain a full day supply of vitamin c as its bottle says
but the tangy orange drink is drowning in sugar 27 grams per glass a better choice is milk no
shit but i don't it doesn't taste as good you think you want sunny d as a kid was like crack
i love sunny d we don't have bad drinks in our house really we have milk usually that'll be like my close to a bad drink as i have i'll have milk as a treat um and then usually i just drink water yeah i don't drink water i drink
diet pepsi though i'm a big fan hi that keeps you hydrated keeps your caffeine levels high
we have coffee sometimes i have that coffee's not bad for you though yeah i've been feeling
low energy i got some uh i got some some B12 I ordered a couple days ago,
this sublingual B12 bottle.
Like a tincture kind of thing?
Yeah, I guess so.
Where you take the dripper and put it under your tongue?
Yeah, I'm drinking so much coffee,
and I don't like drinking that much coffee.
I like to drink maybe one cup a day or something like that.
I had three in a row the other day, and I was like,
oh, I'm still tired. If I have two cups of coffee, a day or something like that. I had three in a row the other day, and I was like,
oh, I'm still tired.
If I have two cups of coffee, I'll have a panic attack.
Really?
Not a real panic attack, but I'll be tapping.
I already tap my feet and move around constantly.
If your sleep schedule's off,
then even though you get enough sleep, it's low-quality sleep.
That could be it.
I fell asleep on the couch.
I think that was it like like i slept the proper
amount but it was couch sleep yeah that's good i am it's lower quality sleep i'm a little over it
now but i i have a i had a stuffy nose which meant that my c-pap doesn't really work that's where i
breathe from and uh oh my god it was just like the old tired version of me wanting naps and grumpy.
It's like stuff he knows ruins my deal.
Once I'm up, even if I'm like exhausted, I really try never to take naps.
And I hardly ever do take naps because that feeling of waking up from a nap disoriented and not really knowing what time it is and like what part of the day.
I hate that.
That is the worst. I've never woken up from a nap and be like ah good idea i always wake up and it's like
now i'm not going to be tired at bedtime i don't feel rested i feel groggy and like i've pissed
away two hours of the day or whatever i i don't know like i'm that's the thing at thanksgiving
that i kind of like is after the meal, everybody seems to fall asleep very quickly,
or 90% of people at every Thanksgiving get together,
like take a nap for like 45 minutes, hour and a half, or whatever.
And that's like my little alone time in the middle of family vacation
or family celebration.
I don't mean to pull rank on you, but give it 20 years, young soul.
You'll be like, you know what?
A couch nap is one of my favorite parts of the day
or chair nap you know i got myself this lazy boy it's been a quality of life upgrade my grandpa's
favorite thing in the world to do is after those big meals put in a huge dip of like skull
straight unflavored or something and then go put on professional bull riding and watch it for nine seconds and fucking out what happens to the dip in this situation
stays in his mouth well he wakes up it's always gone so so I guess it just
disappears he likes professional bull riding and ridiculousness with Rob
Deerdeck professional bull riding I did the with Rob Dyrdek. Oh, my God.
Professional bull riding.
Dude, the Brazilians have taken it over.
I watched a documentary on it.
Yeah.
Yeah, apparently they have a lot of respect amongst American cowboys because they're just fearless and good at it.
And they learn to ride bulls the same way the Americans did.
I was blown away at how dangerous that shit was. Well, I wasn was blown away at how dangerous that well i wasn't
blown away how dangerous it was obviously like you'll see somebody get absolutely concussed and
gored you know borderline gourd and then i'll be like man i didn't know there was so much money in
this to be throwing your body on the line and they'll be like and this is ted now he runs a
a four thousand acre farm with his family and he's here to make a little bit of money what do you
think about that charles you know i think it's good he's here to make a little bit of money. What do you think about that, Charles?
You know, I think it's good he's here.
And then they'll show like,
let's take a look at the leaderboards.
He's at third place and they rank it
by how much money you've made so far.
And it's like first place, $600.
What?
You're exaggerating, right?
I'm 100% serious.
I think it was even,
I think it was like first place, 600 bucks.
Second place, $410.
Third place, like 390. Like it was literally that low. Maybe it was so i think it was like first place 600 bucks second place 410 third place like 390 like
it was literally that low maybe it was so early in the night they hadn't made their coin yet but
i was like oh my god that guy in fourth place who has 260 dollars just got stepped on by an angry
bull that's not gonna cover his insurance dude so his health care I googled how much to bull riders make in
a year and the salary range for a typical bull rider is 20 grand to 187
grand yeah cuz they're all real farmers like real ranchers and shit like this is
just something they're like you know you know Ted you're real good at at not
getting too fucked up when you get
getting too fucked up when you get tossed off the boat you should do that yeah all right i'll go do that don't forget we got work on monday yeah we that's caved in skull or no that's the thing like
these bull riders like this guy's been doing it for eight years his body will never be the same
never no you know he's all he's got like a limp. He's still trying it. His ribs
he's missing two or three.
I feel like even the toughest people
in other sports
even like Conor McGregor or something
one of those guys who's like I'll fight
anyone. Step up to me and we'll see
who gets what. It's like ride
ride Ginger the angry boy
he's like are you fucking high?
My whiskey's gonna get me on the back of that bull that's a fucking nonsense he'll fight anyone how about ginger no i'll fight any human
that's way out of my weight class that thing we have 1400 pounds I can't bolt to that yeah yeah so I was uh no I was gonna say
it makes me laugh so hard I was gonna say I'll maybe I'll resell it on pka but I was on a I was
waiting in the Atlanta airport I had to go out of town for something and I was waiting in the
Atlanta airport my flight got delayed for so long like
i didn't end up leaving until you know hours after my my departure so i'm sitting there
eating dinner at uh bobby's burger joint i think or something like that in the atlanta airport it's
got bobby flay's picture all over the place oh yeah and i order a crunch burger and it says
you know burger with
chips and i was like oh okay i guess they don't do fries here some places just do chips with the
burger then they bring it out and there is no lettuce no tomato no onion and it's just a burger
with american cheese and a bunch of chips on top and i was like oh okay i guess they literally meant
a burger with a bunch of chips on it which it ended up being okay but i had to wait for a while
like hey can i get like all like the normal burger shit, like onions and lettuce and tomato to put on here?
But I was sitting there and there was this dude.
You know how airport conversations are.
You're sitting there.
Everybody's bored as fuck.
You're kind of catching up to the left of me at the bar area.
And it's like the corner of a bar.
So you're more in contact, like not having to lean and talk down the way.
And to the
left of me is a woman probably 60 something years old she kept asking about where the smoking room
was so she could have been mid-50s like she clearly smoked a lot and to the left of her was
another gentleman to the right of me was a guy who was like who had i don't know how long he'd been
there but he had drank way too much and we've been chit-chatting he was
asking me about hockey and stuff and so i don't give a fuck if this guy's drunk he's not being
that annoying or anything he just wants to talk about hockey that's fine and so we're sitting
there chit-chatting and this woman to the left of me has what in front of her is so fucking obviously
an urn so obvious like it's ornate it's like i think it was like blue with like
some silver like shapes and things a very good looking urn kind of thing and and this guy this
guy on my right i have been ignoring it the whole time like i'm being pleasant with her being nice
and everything you know oh yeah oh neat oh i i've never watched this show like that kind of thing
but i'm purposely not addressing an urn in front of her
because I don't want to have that conversation
in an airport in a layover.
And the guy to my right is like,
that's a really pretty vase.
What are you keeping it?
How did she answer?
No, no, no.
What did he say?
That's a really pretty vase.
What do you use it for?
What are you keeping?
It would have been too perfect.
I think it's like, what do you use it for?
Something like that.
And then she is
right next to me and she goes,
it has my 27
year old daughter in it.
She died in a car accident on Thanksgiving.
Oh, that's worse than I thought.
Oh, it's so much worse.
Oh my God. God, you were thinking parent, right?
Yes!
Elder! I was hoping it would be parent but this
woman no no it has my my 27 year old daughter she died in a car accident on thanksgiving
no like oh i was like i was doing the thing like i just i just pretended to be religious when she
talked about it later i'm like you know god has a plan for all of us she's like yes he does yes he does and his plan for your daughter
was to live in that little pot you got there and then like i think it was maybe like a minute later
and the guy like thinks he's quietly talking to me and he leads over he's like yeesh
oh my god dude i'm like another beer another beer for me please you just get me
and it was so uncomfortable he ended up leaving later and the other guy did on the far end too
and it's just me and this woman i still have like 25 minutes to burn like sitting there
looking at an empty beer glass and my like the chips you know fragments remaining on my plate
and she's like talking to me like it's been real tough it's been real real tough and i'm like
i can't imagine that that's that's so horrible do you have any other kids she's like talking to me like it's been real tough it's been real real tough and i'm like i can't imagine that that's that's so horrible do you have any other kids she's like no no this is
my only kid does that make it worse are you supposed to have more kids as backup plans
i think you probably should have a backup plan for exactly this reason for thanksgiving
really massacres like all right we're gonna need you to be a doctor and a lawyer now johnny but that was far and away the most uncomfortable i i there was it wasn't one of those bars that
has like the mirror in front of it but i bet my face turned like so red because it was more
embarrassed for the whole situation than i've ever been like even on this show
what did it oh my god dude why would you point out it's it's got a cap on it for the whole situation than i've ever been like even on this show
what did it mean oh my god dude why would you point out it's it's got a cap on it it's not a vase it's they shaped but so it all earns it was like holy dude that was that was so
uncomfortable why would you bring that up but yeah he he stumbled to his flight a little later, and that's the last I'll ever see of any of them.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Later, I was laughing about it today because it was so uncomfortable. But at the time, with that poor woman, watery-eyed, sitting there, not really touching her Crunch Burger very much.
I was like, oh, this is, and it's on Thanksgiving.
What are you thankful for?
And as her daughter's on the way, I'm thankful to spend time with my family today.
And it's like, she didn't actually say that,
but I can imagine her.
I didn't like this story a bit, Taylor.
I kind of enjoyed it.
I liked it a lot.
Yeah.
Jesus.
Shout out to the drunk guy next to me
at Bobby Flay's Burger Restaurant at the Atlanta airport
for giving us three minutes of content.
You really stepped in it.
You traveled for work?
What'd you do?
Yeah.
What can you say?
I just went on behalf of a client and had a couple meetings for them.
And it went great.
Nitty gritty.
Yeah.
The nitty gritty of details.
No, I went.
Everything went really, really well.
So I was happy to come back i was more the worst part about leaving town is like like the
way like the the consumer products world works is like the person in charge of like whatever
category it is like health and beauty care or produce or whatever they've got people from
like chiquita bananas isn't that what it's called? Those kind of people coming in. Every brand who has whatever client it is of mine, I'm going
representing them. And you get fucking 25 to 30 minutes to take whatever presentation
that client gave you. The night before I'll spend a while going through the numbers, making
sure that I have a solid understanding, knowing where the competition's numbers are at or
whatever. And if they have really good numbers, like IRI and Nielsen data is looking good as far as like
brick and mortar sales and growth, super easy. You know, just go in and be likable. Hey,
boom. Oh, look at us. Number two in the category. Pretty solid. You know what you can also benefit
from? Putting another stack of bananas next to your current stack. Double banana, like that
basically kind of thing. But if like you go in and you have shitty data,
you have to be like, yeah, you know,
usually I'm a data man, but you have to take,
walk with me for a minute, you know,
down this entrance lane, you know?
And so that sucks, but it was a real easy.
So tell me if I understand this part of your job right.
You're representing a client,
you're talking maybe to someone who deals with shelf space
or something, and you're saying- you're saying like a retail buyer. So like, let's
say for cosmetics or something like Maybelline or whatever, they would talk to the health
and beauty care and they would be like, Hey, those fucks at Chanel, look at their numbers.
They're a higher price point and you got a bigger margin with them. But look at us, we're
selling a lot more volume and a lot more turn on the shelves and we're netting you a higher profit you should you would actually gain money
by taking one of their larger items off and putting two of our smaller ones in and you know
present your case for that and then they take months running it up their ladders and and
figuring out exactly the best way to get money per inch on the retail shelf basically so it's like
and then the person after you will come and be like, I bet that Maybelline
guy just came in here and fed a bunch of crap to you.
Chanel's about to set the record straight.
You're real.
And it's like, bing, bang, boom, right after the other.
The buyer's just sitting there and you cannot be too wordy.
You have to be concise and be able to read them.
Wait, so you can be too wordy like you have to be concise and be able to read them because like wait so you can be too wordy did i hear that wrong you can't be too wordy because you're like 25 30
minutes at most so you gotta like even if your presentation like let's say the the maybelline
was like hey we want you to really hit this eyeliner don't stop like make sure that they buy
and get decent distribution throughout all their stores on this eyeliner and i get in
there and immediately the buyer is like i am so done with eyeliners we can't uh we can't i've
talked to my boss we can't change this you have to on the fly be like all right that's that's fine
you know they weren't that interested in presenting that anyway they have an excellent line of
eyeliners but another thing you should see is this salve now it's brand new uh you know
throwing in like other retailers that have
net distribution yeah your neck now this is a new salve that you're gonna love you know
look at the size of my neck try and wrap your hands around it you can't yeah i miss
them i'm unstranglable i was incredibly effective i really got some of my face last week look at this
hi i can't be like you can't be too wordy and I understood that to mean there's no such thing
as too wordy oh it didn't fit with like but you only have this much time I'm like wait a minute
you can't be too wordy right and you're like nope you can't you you shouldn't get bogged down and
like your your plan right it's very clear that that's not gonna work cuz I do it five yeah and
then and then
and then the buyer is going to be like because the relationship you build with them is really
important because like they're humans like everyone and if they start to think like
this this fucking maybelline guy sucks god every time he comes in just yeah
like if anything you want to try and almost expedite it and get it done faster because
then next time they have a meeting with you as as long as you get your purpose done, they'll be like, Oh,
okay. I can kind of sit back and relax. And it's in the middle of, you know,
you know, uh, changing the items on the shelf season.
I'm so stressed out the buyers and Oh, okay. This guy's always quick.
He's not no jibber jabber. He's just getting it done.
So you kind of have to read it.
Like some buyers are all about numbers where like you'll try and explain like
the appeal of a product in a different way. And there'll be like, uh, okay. what's IRI though? What's your IRI data? What's your Nielsen data? And then you'll be like, okay. But other people are way more like intuitive with their decisions grocery chains seem to be more like, you know,
like thinking more about the individual consumer and what they might,
might prefer, even if it's not technically scientific,
but I'm still only 28. So I don't know that much.
So you're still, is that,
is that where you spend most of your time working with buyers?
Like you don't work on the like, dude, if your package was turquoise,
it would pop. Like, that's not what you do. I do stuff like that too. Yeah. I'll help with package design, do things like that.
But a lot of it is like, like I, I'm pretty good with package design stuff. Like as an intuitive
thing, like I, I'll like come into meetings and be like, actually that's the wrong font size for
that. What are you really trying to tell the consumer? Yada, yada, yada.ada and what's being promoted here if you pull someone off the street and tell them what this product's
for what are they going to say they're going to jump to that big text shrink that grow that
uh explain like that kind of thing i'm pretty good at like consumer perception but that's uh not as
as big a part because most companies don't like to change packaging all the time because it's
expensive and you'll build up all these job skills and
leave it for south park anal dildo of truth or something yeah that's what it'll be yeah i'm
bummed out because i have i've been so busy since i think last time i streamed was on saturday
uh or maybe sunday and i haven't had time all week like i think my next available time might be
friday evening so i think i'm gonna give that a go that'll be fun because i've been so much fun with this i i got uh people making fun of me after my first
or my second stream ended they're like raid woody raid woody or like host woody and i didn't know
how to do that so i was like oh well see ya and then the next time uh they were like oh you gotta
you gotta raid woody and i was like wait we streamed twice
at the same time i think so or maybe it wasn't uh maybe it was filthy they were trying to get
it was someone but the second time i successfully raided you which apparently just means i send
all of my chat over to to your your people and you were like working on a tech issue for the
first five minutes of it and like so you weren't paying attention to the chat or the number of viewers which like more than doubled and you were just
like looking like i didn't change these settings what the what the hell what's going on yeah and
then like you switched back to the chat and you're like oh viewership way and then like the whole
chat was like notice the raid what do you notice i do remember that i didn't know i was away for so long i try not to be but oh yeah but
it's fun are you still having fun with it i mean good time streaming yes yeah i i am i think part
of it's because i like this game i'm playing this star wars fallen jedi game i think that's what i
saw that and uh and that's been a good one for me borderlands got to be a bit of a grind at one point uh i might stream cod
again and uh but when i the one time i i streamed how much or twice anyway sucking really hard on
cod is a rough spot it feels like i've never bombed as a comic but i imagine they're similar
you know like it you're just getting raped and yeah and it i feel like i'm bombing i feel like
i'm but i'm trying again yeah i'm i've gotten used to sucking i'll get like beat up by or no i didn't
get beat up by the nazi the giant nazi aborted fetus i defeated that first try dude in south
park game i i suck at this this Jedi game and it's like fun
almost right it's like like there's a imagine a paddle wheel spinning right but it's and you need
to jump on that and then the platform on the other side of it cool the paddle wheel spinning down so
it's it's extra hard you can make it slow down with your Jedi force and then just dude it took me a bunch of tries i'm like frustrated but i felt like it
was a good show and i'm okay with sucking so long as it's part of the fun and when i finally made it
i was so excited and i felt like that is a good part of the show like that i feel good about uh
but in cod when you suck not only do you suck and there's that aspect to it, but your show sucks.
And to double it up like that, it's like, oh, this isn't at all what I had in mind.
Well, you'd kill it in the South Park game.
Very easy, turn-based.
I love the turn-based thing.
And they took such low effort.
The bad guys in the show are Nazis.
Not the show. nazis and not the show the uh the game are nazis and instead of adding like german like nazi sounding you know vo for it every time like
that goes back to those characters it's just like one of three phrases from a hitler speech
it's like eastern side at all and then'll attack. And then do you attack them?
And yeah, but I'm beating the Nazis up.
I'm doing a pretty good job.
I almost fucked up on this one because I didn't realize the umbilical cord was actually a separate entity.
Yeah.
Healing the Nazi baby.
And so themselves, you got to harvest that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm getting PRP treatment in a week.
What's that?
Lateman rich plasma.
So they take your blood out,
put just the parts that heal you in it.
And then they put,
inject that right in your injury spot.
My elbow injury came back and that was something that they feared might
happen.
And this is step two.
It's kind of related to stem cell treatment.
We'll see if it's good.
I,
and in my lifting.
Yeah, probably.
My stream was like scam, scam, scam.
I looked it up and it was kind of like inconclusive
in terms of a treatment,
but the MMA community loves it.
They're always on the forefront
of these bad joints type injuries.
And Joe Lozon is the one who sent me in that direction.
I'll let you know how my experience goes.
Cool. We'll see. Yeah, that seems like'll let you know how my experience goes. Cool.
We'll see.
Yeah, that seems like it's a very Joe Rogany thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, it would be a Rogany thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But yeah, my doctor had the same injury from golfing
and that was how he solved it.
So he believes in it, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah, that sounds pretty legit.
I mean, there's a lot of therapies
that are kind of like that where they take like one part of you and then they concentrate it
And they put it back in
Yeah, it's my first time doing anything like this. Oh actually no they did it on my ankle, too
Hmm yeah, it sounds my a little bit like the like blood doping
Yeah, I see the similarity there. Oh, yeah, but you're not fighting, so it's legal.
It's just legal in fighting, actually.
Well, blood doping.
No, I didn't know that.
PRP treatment is legal.
I did a little tour de France,
or I was going to say we're doing the tour de France.
Maybe it'll help me with my running.
Oh, you should ask him about that.
He's like, hey, look, I'm a runner.
You can tell I've got that runner's body.
And I got this big, well, I'm having to run a lot.
Okay.
Every day I'm running 10 minutes at least.
I'm down to 930 now.
All right.
And upwards of nine minutes.
I can see by the look on your face, you're impressed.
I'm trying to lower that number.
Could you get me a few more red blood cells I care where they come from give me some goat blood whatever that's what I but I want it I want the good
stuff that's probably just kill you they must have great blood cells I want to be
able to sprint up the side of sheer mountains even four days in I've always been like this with cardio like like a
week into it I've made big improvements and I've just done I'm just running a
mile a day every day today was day four and I'm feeling like way better than day
one I don't know if it's psychological or physiological or what but yeah yeah i'm happy
that we're like your body's getting more used to it and you're just doing yeah it's both you've
got you've got that muscle memory thing where you're you know your muscles that have once
atrophied like bounce back much more quickly because they know how to do it could be but um
yeah i don't know i'm glad i did it i might run afterwards after the month is done we'll see
yeah you should keep it going.
Keep it rolling if you can.
But like I find...
Do you run there on your property?
My driveway is the warm up and cool down.
And then I run a route that I measured on Google Maps.
Ah, cool.
Down the street and stuff.
Nice.
Yeah.
So, I don't know.
Dude, it's legit like making me happier.
This is weird. And I can't know dude it's legit like making me happier this is weird and I
can't tell if it's so everyone knows like exercise is good for like that
seasonal depression stuff like that all right cool I'm like but that's probably
bullshit and it certainly is not gonna work in a day but like four days in I'm
like damn like this is a genuine like mood lifter though yeah yeah a runner's high as they say i don't know if i quite
get i i just imagine people gliding and enjoying their music that's not how i run i i i like i said
two minutes into the run i'm dying and i just keep doing that until the run is done. That'd be a funny sketch if like a cop pulls someone over
and the guy's in like all running gear.
They're like, sir, were you running?
I suspect you're high.
No, no, no.
I haven't been running.
I haven't been running.
Let me see your sheet.
Oh, those A6s, quite worn down, quite worn down.
Where have you been?
It's like at the park.
Just walking though.
Just walking, I promise.
All right, I had one run one run
but that doesn't get me high well you've admitted to one run hop out of the car go ahead and sprint
to that tree it's like those you know the commercials that are like buzz driving is
drunk driving yeah like there should be one about jogging jogging high is a runner's high
i like that bit yeah that's a good idea i watched now to do nothing save it for pka but i i finally
set aside three and a half fucking hours man um yeah it's uh people should watch it so they know what we're talking
about. I plan to watch it tonight.
I don't know if I'll get through the whole time.
Kyle expertly gave me no clues to
his opinion on the show.
I noticed Jim Norton in there.
I was surprised to see him in there.
I didn't notice him.
Does he have a speaking role or no?
Yeah. He's a stand-up comic.
Oh.
That's within his acting range.
I didn't remember that was him.
Yeah.
He did makeup, right?
He was old, the stand-up comic, wasn't he?
Well, yeah, he's playing, who's that fucking insult comic?
The super-duper famous one from that era.
Yeah, he's playing Mickey Rooney.
Is that right?
I think so.
Who's the guy that got too much plastic surgery
is that mickey rooney mickey rourke that's mickey rourke don rickles don rickles yeah
he's hilarious or he's dead now but he was funny yeah he was kind of a one of the original insult
comics yeah fun guy um yeah yeah yeah i i was like who is that
that sounds familiar and then i was like i saw i read that it was jim norton it's like oh that's
cool it's really cool good for him yeah so i i have seen like takes on the movie that it is too
long all right yeah you won't watch the movie kyle i'll watch it i'll watch it tonight wow will you that's a big
i'll watch some of it tonight and i'll watch it tonight but based on its length and into the
morning yeah well it is almost it's 657 so you probably won't finish it yeah but we'll see we'll see i'm excited to watch it though
yeah a lot of big names in there and it's historical you know most it's uh it's uh it's
based on a book of a guy um the guy wrote a a somewhat um factual somewhat uh best guess
scenario of what happened to jimmy hopper That's what it's about. I read about
him. Afterwards, I was like,
how accurate was this?
A lot of mobsters felt like
the Irishman
played up his role in this thing.
He made himself to be a bigger deal than he really was.
They called it
a huge work of fiction and stuff like that.
They are known
for their openness and honesty.
I'm stuck on that too.
They're like, this guy made himself...
Actually, we were really cool.
This guy made himself out to be the center
of everything, and he's the guy that killed
Jimmy Hoffa and all that, and they're like, that's all
malarkey. I'm bringing it back, malarkey.
Bunch of malarkey. Yeah, that's an old-timey
word. Yeah, it's the bee's knees.
Like a nice way to say bullshit.
Yeah.
The cat's pajamas.
I like jabroni.
That's one of my favorite insults.
I've been using that one a lot.
Max is like, no, it's a hockey word.
No, it's not.
I feel like it's more of a wrestling word.
In the old WWE days like they
wanted to curse you're nothing but a jabroni yeah they're the kind of guys
that you'd think would curse a lot you know they're big tough guys and they're
talking about killing each other but they can't yeah so you gotta come up
here talking a lot of crud
and I'm not gonna stand for it I was watching it's a TV show called working moms I thought it was a movie when I clicked on it anyway there's these like imperfect working moms and they're
fun and one was like I used the spirit I used the c-word on my child and yet and
another mom is like pretty cool nuts like you did and another one is like I
use the n-word and you're right so you're with and the other one was it a
black family or white family's their white families although there's one
black family in the room what I'm asking is did the white lady call her white
child the n-word no it turns out the c white lady call her white child the N-word?
No, it turns out the C-word is can't and the N-word is no.
But at one point she's explaining, like, oh, let me explain this for you.
She called her kid a cunt because kids are fucking annoying sometimes.
These are the main characters that we're meant to like.
And the other moms are like, what?
No, no.
The C-word is can't. And the N? No, no. The C word is can't
and the N word is no.
What the fuck?
Yeah, and then the fun moms are like,
oh, so where are we on cunt and nigger
in front of the kids?
Are they okay now?
That's where they're at.
Dude, I mean, were they sincerely...
Wait, is this like a documentary?
No, no, no.
It's a... I guess you'd call it a sitcom, but this like a documentary? No, no, no.
It's a, I guess you'd call it a sitcom,
but it's a little better than I think of as a sitcom.
Okay.
Is it like a mockumentary where they make it seem like they're like on camera?
No, you're following four new moms, or four moms who just had a baby.
Okay.
Some of them are first baby, one of them, two of them's not.
And they're like headed back into the workforce. Some of them like it, some of them don't baby one of them two of them's not and they're like headed back into the workforce some of them like it some of them don't it's good
I don't know if anyone would like it it's not suited
for our audience in that like
maybe it has a feminine target
yeah but
I liked it anyway
maybe if you know we got
they fuck the babies
you got anything like that
but if they did it ironically but i
warned it i want i wanted i wanted to call the baby the n-word while i while she fucks it up
i don't mean no i mean the real one
but yeah anyway it was a fun show i watched did you see joe biden fucking oh my god on that stage
making an absolute fool of himself no i believe it i i hope they nominate him i think there's
something wrong with him i can't get enough of these comments i wouldn't bet against it having
his uh he was talking about having his leg hair patted down yes it is we need to watch it because
i can't even it's like a family guy,
old man who just,
it's like a bit from family guy
where like some old man
is at a bus stop
just talking nonsensically
and Pete is like,
yeah,
so Alzheimer's, huh?
It's like,
it's,
I'm scrolling way up
through my messages
to try to find it
because it's from like last night
about this time.
So in 24 hours.
He's losing his mind visibly and and i'm here for it i got it i want him to get the nomination that'd
be so funny can you relink it oh yeah yeah yeah i had to scroll for it i can't believe you haven't
seen this this is going real viral everybody on both sides is really yeah and before we start like
i didn't care for joe's what joe said about marijuana
but i think he's you know it seems like a genuinely okay guy as far as democratic presidential
candidates go but i am genuinely like like not this is the bid or not not not being silly here
i don't think i don't like talking about this just because it's funny. There's something wrong with this. If my grandfather were alive and he were doing this,
I'd be like, Grandma, if she were alive.
We got to do something.
We got to get him to the neurologist.
You got to let me watch it.
Yeah, let's watch it.
Three, two, one, play.
And by the way, you know, I sit on the stand and it get hot. I got a lot of I got hairy legs that turn that that that that that turn blonde in the sun.
And the kids used to come up and reach in the pool and rub my leg down.
So it was straight and then watch the hair come back up again.
They look at it. So I learned about roaches. I learned about kids jumping on my lap.
And I've loved kids jumping on my lap and i tell you what jesus christ
dude if you told me script any 30 seconds you want to do i couldn't come close to as funny as that
we're at the end he's i don't like to learn about kids jumping on my lap i love kids jumping i have to imagine a tiny child while he does it that there's probably a minute or
two on either side of that where he's not quite as insane they just grabbed the best of it and
ended it with kids jumping on my lap oh no how could he parlay that into they cut out the part
where he started urinating on the stage out of kindness uh yeah. And it's weird. The news is all writing, not writing Biden off, but he wins every poll.
Every poll.
I always see him with the big lead.
Always.
He's always in front.
And it's always a race for second place.
They act like Pete Buttigieg is winning for a while, right?
Because he's winning in Iowa, I think.
And he was briefly winning in New Hampshire.
And they act like he's the, dude, he's in fourth, you know, on a good day.
It's going to be Warren.
Warren's declining in the polls.
I think they're going to put...
Biden is too crazy, and it hurts me to say it,
but he's not going to make it through,
because I would love to see him.
Wait until Warren gets on that stage,
and there's a back and forth,
and everybody gets to see an angry woman
on stage i'm agreeing with the bernie bros takes on twitter that bernie is their best shot to beat
trump if they picked bernie which they fucking won't bernie would win for sure he would take
back the rust belt with like his pro workers stance for like i have i would be blown away
if trump beat bern Bernie I have my own thing
of course I'm the Buddha judge guy right and and the natural counter is black guys don't
like gay guys right yep black VP I don't know if that's gonna cut it I can just see like Buddha
judge goes like clap him on the back and he's like yeah I ain't gay no I told like Kamala Harris is VP my mama watching this shit what if his
VP is so black woman Murphy yeah if Buddha judge runs and is in his running
mate is a black woman I like that combo I think I think that'll motivate the
judges VP well I know he's not gonna try to fuck me. I don't know, man.
That'd be a good joke.
That'd be a good joke.
I don't know.
It's not just the blacks either.
There's a lot of just...
Hispanics.
Hispanics and blacks are much more religious.
There's a lot of just people who don't like homosexuals.
There's a lot of just the religious right who are just not going to sign on to that.
And I get that, like, oh, well, they weren't gonna vote for Bernie anyway.
Some of them were.
Some of them were.
It's very tricky, right?
Like, I feel like the Democrats in general
are trying to get like every vote they can.
And the Republicans in general are kind of like,
fuck your homo ass.
Funny I said that way.
You know, we're gonna get our,
our base can win an election.
We don't need to get your base.
We don't need to kowtow to some overweight, angry, purple-haired college girl.
We're not going to try to win her vote.
We're going to do what we want.
But the Democrats don't do that as much.
You know, you don't see them.
Like, Republicans are constantly putting down urban life, right?
Because they're not getting votes from there.
The Democrats are never putting down rural schools they never do that they never say like ah you fucking louisiana kids getting 600 on the sat
suck a dick never hear it i mean you definitely hear elitists and media and and politicians
definitely making fun of rural people for being dumb inbred deplorables talks about our country
poop in this the uh the the cities didn't we determine
that was a real story though like a huge influx of shit but being real doesn't mean that like it's
i think you know it's also real that all these southern schools have bad sat scores
but they don't talk about on the democrats the other candidates are not doing that
trump is on stage putting down cities and
Democrats and stuff like that. Yeah. I mean, it's just a different take on it. They definitely put
down Trump all the time, but. Sure. But I guess I just see the Democrats trying to win over
the Republicans and the Republicans saying, we're happy with our base. Yeah. We'll see what wins.
You know, it's a Democratic a Democratic ideal, I suppose.
They want to be this all-inclusive kind of
party. It makes sense for them to
try to pull on every string
they can reach.
I think it's more of a Democratic tactic,
not an ideal. You painted
a very good, kind picture
on it. I look
at it through a more manipulative lens. I think they're
just like, any vote is fine. Oh, for sure. And there's a bunch of
old, probably white dudes sitting in a room who are like the Democratic elite and they're like,
we're going to get a lot of coloreds this time around. Yeah, probably.
Trump can't win the coloreds. Not after that. Well, I mean, that's literally
what they're doing. That's the only reason that they would pick someone like Kamala for VP
because she is abysmally unpopular because the whole black community seemed to turn on her when
it's like oh so so you like locked kids up for truancy and stuff yeah we don't care for that
screw you and she dropped off precipitously in the polls when that was like a hammered talking point
yeah so like to put her back in the limelight it's not like she was so popular she had 1.2
percent and then dropped out it's more like, because of her skin color and her vagina,
throw them in there, plug and play.
We're trying to cover as many bases as possible.
It's a normal thing for VP to do that, though.
Oh, yeah.
Usually that's why Obama took Biden.
But usually it's geography, I mean to say.
They'll grab some Texas Democrat and hope to get that state.
For sure, which doesn't make sense to me.
I feel like you've got to be more purple in your VP
selection now. I think a Georgia
Democrat might be a great idea.
Could be.
Yeah. I mean, a Florida Democrat
definitely would. Obviously, Georgia
has 13 electoral votes, and Florida
has double that. The double challenge
with Georgia is I'm not sure you'd win that state.
It's hard. You'll win the city of Atlanta. You'll lose everything else. is like the double challenge with georgia is i'm not sure you'd win that state like you know it's
hard you'll win the you'll win the city of atlanta you'll lose everything else but yeah georgia's a
little more purple than it used to be yeah it is yeah the city of atlanta is um super blue it
purples the state yeah absolutely yeah yeah well the state's red and the rest of it it's it's that
it's that the whole it's that there's five million people, I think, roughly, in Atlanta.
They're all blue.
And then there's the rest of Georgia that's all red.
And the mixture turns out to make the whole state kind of purple.
North Carolina is a similar demo.
We have the Triangle area where I'm from, Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill,
which combined into a good-sized city.
And then Charlotte, which is a good-sized city.
And then the rest is all very red probably like Georgia oh yeah good somebody keyed
wings fucking car do you think they knew that was he thinks they do you know it's
probably unlikely like like like but but I thought that was super duper shitty I
really just like that sort of thing his new one i think it was his new one
i just saw a screenshot of like car paint and like a big you know scratch that really blows i agree
some people are like you would never defile a man's car like his car is
sacred in some way like more sacred than just the value of it you know like yeah
but i'm not like that but i still man i wonder where i hope it
didn't happen in his yard that would be no i was at walmart i started invading okay oh then they
probably it was just some hoodlum kid probably probably man i hate that that happened to him
though yeah as if he's like i'm so pissed about missing the soccer match i'm on a key this busting
as if that guy's in south carolina that's not what hoodlum sounds like
you know taylor you're normally good at accents but you're not really getting walmart hoodlum
i'm thinking a hooligan. I don't fucking know.
It means a no good. That's real shitty.
I really dislike that sort of thing.
I would never key anybody's car.
I can't think of a scenario.
That's a real cowardly thing to do.
I don't know.
It's real shitty.
It didn't look too awful.
It didn't look like they went through the paint and the primer
and down to the metal or anything, which be like a worst case scenario because then it's
gonna rust but uh it looks like he needs to take it somewhere they can mostly fix that like still
that's the money you don't want to spend yeah of course not he just got that car i think it's his
brand new car yeah that's sad yeah that sucks and it's new jackie did it to me we were um she keyed your car
kind of we were bringing hope's dorm furniture home in the spring and uh or maybe we're taking
the fall it's not important what's important is that she was carrying a big square piece of
furniture like it was a dresser and uh she got like the driver's side rear door
and it left a white line on it that was like six inches long and uh you know owned right up to it
she's like woody i am so sorry you know like i did this i was carrying it with three cars
with three cars in our driveway there's not a lot
of room in between them so you need to walk on the outside if you're carrying furniture and she didn't
and uh like it was just a it looked like you took a white crown and drew a six inch line on it it
was bad and uh i couldn't tell if it was the white furniture's paint or if it was whatever's under
the red paint like i don't know. And I tried to clean it off,
and I tried to rub it with my fingernail,
and I couldn't get it.
And I wasn't the best me about it.
I didn't like...
I basically silent treatment her.
Sometimes that's the play.
I was grumpy.
For Christmas, you get her a $1,000 certificate
to a paint and body shop.
I gave her kind of a grumpy silent treatment
and it was an accident she's like she didn't deserve that but no you know it's not the worst
husband either so um uh it's understandable I went out and bought some like goo remover it didn't
work for me and then she went out there and worked it and worked it and worked it. And it's perfect now.
He cleaned it.
And I guess the paint that I was looking at was from the furniture
and it was on there tough, tough enough that I didn't get it off.
I thought I was ready to take it to somebody.
You fixed it. Yeah.
Yeah.
He's like, whenever you get a little annoying dent or scratch, like
I was just talking about this the other day on P.K.,
I think I've got like one annoying scratch and one annoying dent like the scratch is like not even inch and the
dent is nobody knows where that dent is but me but they can fix things like that they go underneath
the that side of the body and they can like roll the dent out from the back side with this tool
and uh they can get scratches just gone really yeah now dents i understood i've seen like paintless dent
repair places that do a better job than you'd guess you know yeah they really get that out
but if the paint's missing i would have thought that is a hard nut to crack they put some new
paint in that they put some stuff on there that fills that in then they put some sealant over
that and then they polish the whole thing if it's bad, they got to repaint and that's a problem.
But most of the time buffing and resealing can fix the whole thing.
A professional can get it done and it's not expensive.
It'd be less than $100 probably for like a moderate kind of repair.
But those dents, like there used to be a guy who'd come to the dealership
and I want to say he charged $25 a dent or something like that, which is, it sounds like, ah,
not much of a living, but when you go to a car dealership and they're like,
all right, it's going to be quite a day to get started.
We got 92 dents for you.
He's like $25. All right. And $50. And let's call that one 150.
Yeah. There used to be a dent here. You can't even tell, can you?
This whole tailgate was smashed in.
That one had hail damage.
You guys didn't even notice, huh?
That's 27,000.
Yeah.
Hail damage.
Those guys are good.
Girl, I worked with hail.
I know it's time to wrap.
Girl, I worked with that hail damage.
Her whole car
Looked like it had dimples on it, and then she lived in Kentucky where it gets hot couple heat cycles, and it cured itself
The metal flexed mirror we were doing that in a wings yard that time and his his lovely girlfriend helped us she was so grumpy
She was so good
Is that the word you want to use?
Let's circle back to the C word.
Yeah, exactly. Grumpy is not the word that came to mind when I was working with her.
We're there. We don't see each other very often. We're all friends. And like, I don't know,
we're just excited to be together. I saw on YouTube someone who took a, you know that a can of air, compressed air, you know this.
You turn it upside down, it blows really cold.
And I forget if you do the heat first or the cold first,
but anyway, combination of a hot air dryer
and a hair dryer and this cold made it pop.
You know, like if you do it quick enough.
And we're gonna try this and it's gonna be fun
and Wings had a dent in his truck and we gave it a go and it didn't end up working but like it was on her
to find a hair dryer because she's a girl and it's bald right i didn't think it through that lens but
um yeah so and and she was just like wanting to sit in the car doing nothing but like being a black hole of energy and fun and literally and
she was so and she was so awful she was like and i remember thinking like when you look like that
you cannot mix that with a personality like that you should have sugar cookies out here in
one hand and a hair dryer on the other you you cunt. You are a despicable human being.
You have the nasty... We had a guy in the Hangout recently.
He's on this crazy vacation. I won't give too much
away.
He's with a very beautiful young lady. Some sort of Instagram
thought. He was like, you know how it is.
Isn't that beautiful?
They're awful to be around.
They're fucking crazy.
They're mean because they know they can get away with it.
And I'm like, yeah, I guess that is true sometimes.
And I'm thinking like most of the time.
Wing's girlfriend, like she must have, she's one of those people who like, it's like Travis
Tritt has this uh this song
called 10 feet tall and bulletproof about every time he starts drinking he starts thinking he's
10 feet tall and bulletproof and like when he looks in the mirror he first of all he's a he's
a despicable looking human being when he looks in the mirror he's like god damn and it's the
reflection of like i don't remember who it was but it was a really good looking man and he meets up
with a woman who's the exact same thing she's a despicable looking human being but when she looks in that bar mirror she's beautiful
and that that must be what like wings's girlfriend thought of herself because you cannot be that
despicable and look like that like she was despicable in front of us too like just imagine
how she was like privately that's a good point. We experienced her company manners.
Everybody's so much nicer when people are around.
You probably remember that from your parents
growing up. Just wait till Uncle Bill
goes home.
You're bringing back a lot
of memories. Just wait till
the Joneses
head back home. You just wait.
Did you light another fire in the backyard
after I told you not to?
No.
No.
Well, I hope you liked it back there.
That's where you're going to live for the week.
Yeah.
It's good.
You know, there's, but that's how she was
while we were there.
It was, yeah, it was very.
Wings is right to dump her.
Yeah. The girl after that seemed like
a much sweeter person.
Good.
It didn't work out.
She was sweet because the diabetes
began
in 276.