Painkiller Already - PKN #284

Episode Date: February 7, 2020

Support the show & watch the PKN video by becoming a $10 Patron https://www.Patreon.com/PKA Merch: http://PainkillerAlready.net PKA on iTunes: http://bit.ly/PKAOniTunes PKA on Podbean: http://painkilleralready.podbean.com   Timeline by Urban   0:00:00 - Woody starts the show 0:01:28 - Kyle tells a funny Chiz story from a visit a few years ago 0:05:33 - Taylor getting back to using MyFitnessPal and working out 0:08:12 - Woody’s struggling to eat right while traveling and  0:09:40 - Woody’s recent paramotor trip  0:13:12 - Woody had another run in with a retail employee  0:22:26 - Auto-brewery Syndrome and remembering the PKA drinking episodes 0:25:23 - Coronavirus talk: Taylor’s friends recent visit to China, How bad is it? 0:31:52 - Kyle watched a documentary about chemical and biological weapons 0:35:18 - Kyle is going to the petting zoo 0:38:45 - Why Taylor hasn't been streaming recently and book talk (lots of it) 0:50:32 - Jaime Lannister vs Aragorn, who would win? 0:52:31 - Dumbledore vs Gandalf and more general Harry Potter talk 1:00:02 - Woody’s friend had a funny thing happen to him while paramotoring  1:00:52 - Woody calls it a show

PKN 284. Hello, boys. How's everyone doing? Not too bad. Good. Is that a haircut I see? I got a haircut like two weeks ago. Ah, well, it's just now. I got my haircut right before I went to prison, literally the day before.

And she gave me this coupon. She's like, now if you come back within two months seven dollars off and i was like that's gonna be a bit of a problem she's like she's like busy yeah something like that yeah do you have a 68 day coupon from now yeah yeah could you manage that uh so yeah a couple weeks ago i got a haircut it was so long like in the front it was down like well below my nose and in the back it was like it was getting long like it had stopped being the rat tail and started being like just like long hair that just went down the back of my neck it was time it was time was it like a cool rocker look oh like uh the time has passed for a oh it was the cool rocker look for

sure yes yeah yeah that's what it was i was talking to you i want to see your long hair down in your face and then i want i want to see somebody put like some fallout boy in 2004 eyeliner on no need for photoshop i'll do it i'll lean right into that one okay yeah maybe halloween next year my hair will be long and I'll go for something like that. That'd be fun. A makeup year where we all wear makeup. Chiz reminded me of something today. A couple of years back, he took the bus. I don't remember. I think he took the bus and came to Atlanta. I picked him up and I don't remember what we were doing. I think it was when we were doing the rafting trip and he like spent the night at my house like the night before and then he and i maybe drove up to tennessee and met up with woody and uh and i had i had completely forgotten about this so i go and pick him up and uh he hadn't eaten all day he's super hungry we

get back to my house i'm like don't worry dude i'll take care of you so we get some taco bell of course and uh and uh nothing but the best nothing but the best for you, my friend. And, uh, and I'm like, Hey, you want to get high? And he's like, I haven't smoked in a long time. Yeah, I do want to get high. And I was like, all right. So we go out my front porch and it's me and him and my girlfriend and we're out there and I've got, I don't remember exactly what I was smoking out of, but it was just flour. It was like regular marijuana. And, uh, I'm smoking constantly, like every day, two or three times a day and so i hit that thing it's nothing to me you know i got a good buzz going on i'm just relaxed and having

a fun conversation i pass it over to chis and he hits it real hard too hard and he passes it back to me and i hit it and i reload it you know i get some more in there i'm like you want some more chips i look at him and he's turned as white as a ghost. He's as white as a ghost. And he's staring off into the darkness of the yard. And I look at his burrito and it's not even unwrapped. He's just holding it like it's a microphone. He's just like, I don't, I don't feel so well.

You don't look so good. Are you okay? Get some of that burrito in your body. He's like, I don't feel so well. You don't look so good. Are you okay? Get some of that burrito in your body. He's like, I don't have an appetite. I was like, this does the opposite of that. What do you mean? He's like cold sweat, white as it goes. I'm going to lay down.

I'm like, this is some good shit. Jesus, I mean, this gives people with like stage four pancreatic cancer an appetite. It doesn't sound good at all. It's called stage four. I love those ridiculous weed names. One of the people I play games with was smoking something. What's that called? What's that you're smoking?

It's called canoeing without a canoe. Who comes up with that nonsense? Some stoner laying on the couch. I want that job. That's the best job ever. Yeah, this tastes like a purple dragon. It's like, we can't name a fifth straight in the row purple dragon. You're confusing people.

You smoked too much. All right, green dragon, fuck off. Really fixating on the dragon bit chat yeah those are silly little names for weed and it's like it's the same way they are with like craft beers like i'll try and go and get like i like craft beers every so often usually i'm like a very simple bud light bud select kind of you know light beer thing but every once in a while it's like oh cool. You'll see the six packs and all the...

They really do a good job with art and graphics in the alcohol aisle, really trying to grab you, pull you in. The liquor bottles always look great. I don't buy or drink that much liquor, though. But every once in a while, it'll be a really appealing thing, and it'll be like, there was an explosion in the hop

factory, and it's so hoppy! And then you'll be like there was an explosion in the hop factory and it's so hoppy and then you'll be like oh maybe this is interesting he's got pictures of hops blowing up and like a little hot man like with a spear in the corner or something and you'll check and it'll be like 11.9 alcohol it's like are you trying to kill people here with your little hop cartoon acting like this is little caesars and this is like drinking a bottle of strong red wine basically so yeah and those are overpriced and don't ever make the mistake of being like oh I'm gonna have this craft beer and then take a picture with uh you're my fitness pal because it's gonna ruin that whole illusion all those beers are like 260 calories a pop well it's two

beers you got to keep that basically yeah yeah yeah like pop. Well, it's two beers. You got to keep that in mind. Basically, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like you're getting the alcohol of two beers. Yeah, even more than that because I like a Bud Light. What's that, like four? Five and a half. Four or five or something?

You back on MyFitnessPal, Taylor? Yeah, yeah. I'm back on MyFitnessPal. Lost a few pounds this week. Been hitting the workouts really hard, adding new stuff in. week been hitting the workouts really hard adding new stuff in i uh i started i i was you know bandying about the idea of like getting one of those attachments for my power rack that i could like use one of those rope you know the ropes that you put for the tricep pull downs and my face pulls and things like that but i can't it's like oh this is so expensive it's gonna be a pain in

the ass so i've just started doing like tricep pull downs with like a 50 pound resistance band and like just standing however far back I feel like I need to I'm getting a real good burn with that and it's not Irritating my my elbows the way that skull crushers do maybe I'm not doing the skull crushers, right? I watched a bunch of athlete and X videos It's where you have like, you know the bench kind of curl bar But I grab it this way lay back on the bench and then you have it like back behind your head oh and then you extend it out straight and you have to like like not like putting it over

your head because that's not going to help anything but your shoulders but like literally lay them back and your arms like lifting it up just to kind of parallel with your body over and over it's like and it's real hard extension yeah it's it's it really really blasts your triceps but i'm getting i feel like just it's going to burn with these pull downs and it's real hard extension yeah it's it's it really really blasts your triceps but i'm getting i feel like just is going to burn with these pull downs and it's not now it is creating shits uh no are great i've been really eating eating a bunch of fiber and so it's just like one just enormous like every morning and it's like all right pretty let's go start the day there's a pound right there who says you can't lose weight today oh yeah like it's it's so funny how all like eat like shit with like pizza and

wings for like two or three days straight and then just shit like three times that next day after that and just be like oh it just it just be that way sometimes i guess and then like three days into eating not shit just all veggies veggies and like grilled chicken and stuff. You're like, oh, yeah. Yeah, this is 100% because of your eating when you're having bad shits. Like you could stop this at any time with just a couple handfuls of green beans and Brussels sprouts. So, yeah, it's going really well. I've been hitting the diet hard, working out really, really hard.

I'm still in that. I'm right you know how it is when you get that mentality that wave of like motivation you can't fall off that wave because you never know when the next one's coming it's i've never surfed but i imagine it's like sir it could be 2020 or it is 2020 that's stupid it could be 2022 before the next one comes and so i'm like all right i gotta seize the day on this and lose some weight so the next by the time i fall off this wave and go back into you know a pizza every weekend and whatnot i'm not in as bad a shape so yeah how's yours going woody i know you

been i traveled this weekend so my travel days were friday and monday and i've been eating nothing but restaurant food and garbage uh because i i find it really hard to eat well on the road. I go to Dunkin' Donuts and it's like, well, the English muffin egg and ham is half the calories of the croissant egg and ham, so I guess I'll do that. I mean, it's an apple fritter. There's food in there. Half of 1,400 is 700. The numbers were like 690 and three something but did you sleep did you

sneak a slice of doughnuts into that sandwich but then on the second day she's like do you want hash browns and it's like well i do no one's ever said no to hash browns uh so that i need i need some simple carbs for my energy you know that kind of rationalization i've been working the pull stuff back in slowly i've done a couple i'm doing like nice do um assisted pull-ups now with the stretchy band because i'm trying not to just step right into full weight and you know bring that back so uh i don't know on my way but it's that to me is one of the things of like over 40 exercise. Like, gotta ease into this shit, baby.

You can't just take your enthusiasm and hit it like I could when I was 19. Yeah. You know, barely walked one day and then tomorrow exercise again. Yep. Yeah, so that's cool. I did the flying thing. I still haven't put all my gear away.

So that was really fun. Our new boat. Oh, did you go down to Anderson? South Carolina. Oh, oh. So normally we go to, where is it we go? Lake Hartwell in Georgia? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But for the winter, we're in Florida. Tiger Lake, if people know all the lakes. And we got a new winch. The last winch broke and the new winch stinks so we're sorting it out go on is tiger lake connected to the ocean by a river by any chance i don't think so it yeah i wouldn't think so it's pretty far inland if it is it's yeah you know some tiny thing but i'm worried about tiger sharks right coming all the way up the estuary getting into that fresh water so i don't know about tiger sharks but bull sharks alligators actually are a thing definitely there and they're all like oh

don't worry those alligators are more scared of you than you are of them and i'm like how could you underestimate how scared i am of alligators greatly underestimated my fear of gators yeah it's not a problem and they're like if you're in the water with the gator then you know they're not they're not they're fine it's when you're above the gator that's when you when they're less comfortable and they tend to attack i'm like you're telling me to go in the water more so that i don't get above them what you want to do woody is swim under the gator yeah that's what they're saying they like that a preemptive attack yeah they're like you shoot a few right now and send a message they're literally saying like if you slowly touch their chin you can raise them i'm not doing that what

if i panically jump in the boat how do they respond to that because that's much more likely but i've watched enough south asian videos of carnivals and to know that that is not a permanent solution now he's gonna put head in crocodile mouth watch this two pilots to go in the water but my first game what happened to the last guy oh he retired yeah he retired what's that really full alligator doing over there? Oh, nothing. Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, you don't...

That's so funny. They're more scared of you than you are of it. It's like, okay, maybe a squirrel or a badger or something, but a crocodile, alligator, snakes, they literally don't have the capacity for emotion. Like, what do they have have like an amygdala and that's about it and it just kind of processes fear like fight or flight it's like an acquisition and then they don't have sex probably they don't even another thing you know unlike dolphins which

will there's eggs involved so i don't really know how it works exactly. I watched that King of the Hill the other night where Luann buys Hank the, you know, he thinks that he's getting a golf trip to a really nice country club. And Luann comes back and gives him a present. And it's a swim with the dolphins thing. Oh, yeah. And then he gets in and the guy's like, all right, now pet it. And, you know, Hank, he like starts petting it. And he goes, oh, well, all right. You know, doing his little thing. And then he gets in and the guy's like, all right, now pet it. And you know, Hank, he starts petting it and he goes, well, all right. You know, doing his little thing. Then like the genital area of the dolphin starts to turn a little red and then it starts humping Hank, almost

drowning him. He's like, now this thing's trying to kill me. He's like, Mr. Hill, that thing, the last thing it wants to do is harm you in any way. It wants to have sex with you. Everybody's taking pictures. Yeah, taking pictures. Super embarrassing. Such a good one, yeah. I had another encounter with a retail person today.

Let me tell my story. Oh, no. Goddamn retail. I think I'm okay on this one. I didn't do anything, but I thought things. So I went to do this whole TSA thing, and I'm looking at buying a mountain bike for a while. Add a little cardio to my life.

That's a little low-impact cardio. That's what I'm going for. And I go into the Trek store, and the salesman from across the store is instantly, he greets me with way more excitement and enthusiasm than I expect to see. Like we're old friends like hey and I'm just like Forrest Gump like hi you know like okay so this is a thing and I'm not even a hundred percent sure he works there right like he's looking a little dressed

down yeah a little casual and and like i don't know i thought maybe confused me so so he comes over and he starts explaining the bikes to me i lay it out i'm like look i'm i'm new i'm trying to get a bike that's good enough that i can do this what is it like seven grand because i'm afraid i won't even like it and uh mountain bikes by way, can get outrageously expensive. So he starts explaining it to me, and I'm not getting it. He's in like 60 bikes into all the different lines and all the different numbers and all the different lines, talking about bikes that obviously don't apply to me. He's just not telling it coherently, in my opinion. And I'm scratching my head, and I see something about a price range.

And he tries to work with that and obviously like bump it up a little bit. And it's just not working for me. And he keeps apologizing because he just got there. And I guess they sold bikes this weekend. So he didn't know the inventory. And that's when I smelled the alcohol on his breath. And I'm like... And that's when i smelled the alcohol on his breath and i'm like and that's when this there's this penis came out this guy's breath reeks of alcohol and i thought

well maybe i'm crazy so you know we listened some more and he's trying to like bring up pictures of the bikes on the computer because like i said the inventory was low and he can't work the computer, he can't get it going. And his like debugging is tapping it and shaking it. And plus you probably don't wanna order a bike, right? You want one off the shelf, am I wrong about that? Because that's how I am with virtually anything. Well, if I'm gonna go to a Trek store, it's so that I can see them and touch them and learn from the salesmen and stuff.

If it's just a salesman talking, like that's not enough to get me offline you're like i had google right so i still do and his debugging of this computer is like open he picked up the monitor and looked at the base that it would sit on he's like huh i don't know it's I'm just like, the fuck? What were you looking for? Right? And it's like, this guy has got to be drunk. And my confidence that he's drunk is rising and rising. Because at first, I just got a hint of alcohol. But now it keeps going, and it keeps going.

And I'm like, am I crazy down here? I'm the only person who realizes this dude's drunk? Kyle, what time is it of the day? I would guess his shift started at 2 p.m. because he just got there and it's like 2.15 p.m. on a Tuesday. Quite early for a beverage. Ooh, a couple of lunch beers or something. But not because he just got there. His shift just started.

So then like my, I'm glad I didn't say or do anything for two reasons. One, my emotions shifted from I'm a little frustrated. You know, I don't go to bike stores very often. I was hoping I would have a more fruitful lesson in this. To not so much frustrated, but, like, man, if this guy can't make it to his 2 p.m. on a Tuesday bicycle sales job sober, maybe I should have some sympathy for this guy. Because his life must be fucked if he can't show up to his 2 p.m. bicycle salesman job sober on a Tuesday. And he looks at the bottom of the stand trying to fix computers.

Yeah. The monitor. He doesn't have any future in i.t either that's not going to work out and and that's that's kind of where it was like i i got i learned enough i guess the ex line the five or the seven or something would be the bikes that i should be looking at so from here it's like all right would he go online see what those components are how they compare to competitors etc um learn some. I've had enough of this fellow. And as I'm trying to break off,

he's like not letting me cut off the conversation. He's in sales, but it's like, just refusing to hang up the phone. He's got that boozy confidence about him. Just not gonna let you go. And I'm trying to like, coolly cut off the conversation, like cool man. Yeah, what are you, a tease?

I just came in here to get pre-sales. You wouldn't dress like cool man yeah what are you a tease i just came in here to get dressed like that and uh you know i'm gonna go gonna you know do some more research and figure things out he's like no no no then he starts talking to me some more what do you think should be in the five or the seven and i'm like cool guy yeah yeah thanks for all your help i appreciate it wish you luck and they're like woody don't go don't go woody no and i'm like this is drunk talk but this is you know you sprint yeah i'm walking out the door waving goodbye like trying to friendly say adios and they're like i don't know saying my name like their friend was leaving the bar too early or something and uh and that's a lonely man right there

so i mentioned it to a friend of mine and he said he's like oh breath smells of alcohol starting to act incoherent like that's also a diabetic going into an episode so that's a that's all i didn't so i googled it because i'd never heard that before and both of those things are true and there there's actually some EMT training, which is what my friend has because he's a paramotor instructor and he trained. And that's probably why he knew it. Yeah. So if you're like a cop or an EMT and you smell alcohol in the breath and a guy's acting incoherent, you have to sort of perform some other steps to figure out if he's a drunk or a diabetic having an episode. So I guess maybe something about the way they process insulin, they're converting the, like,

they're converting, like, insulin or sugar directly into, like, alcohol or something? We're getting pretty deep. Like a human liquor stew. Yeah, right? Taylor, are you finding it already? Am I too soon? You're Googling this? Yeah, I was looking around. I found something else

though, but yeah. Did you know there's a station of people on the internet, woody i got distracted as i was googling no um but yeah ketoacidosis okay um yeah so i googled it and so that's also a possibility i'm glad i wasn't an that that guy's a drunk word i i feel like the other thing I feel like what's the thing where you what's that thing we're like if you if you hear if you hear hope if you see hoof prints you think horses not zebras something close to yeah yeah something like that yeah yeah I think I think this is a good case of that yeah probably an Occam's razor thing either he's a drunk bicycle salesman or he has a very, very rare

condition. That happens to be acting up right now. As soon as I came in. He's got airplane bottles in his pockets. That probably is insulin.

Have you ever heard of Smirnoff brand insulin? Yeah, so I didn't say anything that you could like quote and hold against me although i'm kind of an open book so uh there might have been some huffing and frustration and stuff but uh it sounds like a frustrating thing now yeah i would not care for that either you're there trying to get information and some dude's just badgering you drunk yeah of course that's shitty. Yeah. Yeah. I usually like to see the thing I'm going to buy if it's a purchase like that for sure.

Like, if it's a washer and a dryer, show me a fucking picture of the thing. But if it's something I'm going to, like, be touching and, like, operating, I really want to feel the clicks and the pops and turn the knobs. Yeah, a lot of bikes have parts in common, right? Like, I'm so out of date on this,

I'll have my details wrong. But, like, Shim bikes have parts in common, right? Like, I'm so out of date on this, I'll have my details wrong. But, like, Shimano will have, like, four levels of derailleurs and cranks and brakes and stuff. And so you can kind of compare apples to apples across different bikes. And I thought I'd just learn what's being offered. But, yeah, I don't know. It's tricky. Like, this is true with electric skateboards one wheels bicycles etc these purchases cost four digits like a mountain bike with front and rear suspension which is where my friends tell me to be starts at like two grand it's hard to spend two grand 2700 hoping you like

a new thing yeah you know like what if my friends don't ride with me as much as i thought they would and it's just me out there in the heat of the summer smashing into tree roots and like that maybe it sucks and i'm out three grand and i don't get the cardio i thought i would i don't know yeah or maybe you're doing research maybe it's a low impact cardio that's like really fun i don't know Maybe it's a low impact cardio that it's like really fun. I don't know. Yeah, I found this. It's just talking about that drunk guy made me think about, have you guys ever heard of auto brewery syndrome?

No. Called gut fermentation. So it is a auto brewery syndrome is a rare condition identified in male and females, likely underdiagnosed. So basically, people and these people often eat a lot of sugar and like carbs and whatnot. And they have problems with their gut bacteria where it will take like they eat a big stack of pancakes and it converts those carbs into booze in their body. And so like they'll eat a big stack of flapjacks and just be drunk that's awesome yeah that's awesome for day one until you're like man i really just wanted a sandwich i didn't i

didn't want to get buzzed you know i don't know if you were like woody all right you're gonna eat a big flat big stack of flapjacks and you either convert it to alcohol which i guess you breathe and piss off or fat i'd pick the alcohol probably yeah but then you can't drink and flapjack or flapjack and drive is what i meant you can't carbon drive you can't do anything like that that would suck you want a big potato honey no i gotta drive later yeah what i really want is the ability to turn this condition on and off. Yeah. I don't think you like being drunk, though, so this doesn't seem like a win.

This seems like a lose-lose. I don't like... I get sick when I drink. To me, maybe it's not for me. Your sample size of drinking, though, just really sucks. It does. You'll be like, all right, well, it's my biannual time to drink to drink oh are we gonna have a few beers and just kind of chill no no we're gonna drink to the point that we're uncomfortable and then that will be my memory of alcohol i don't remember i blacked out last time i don't remember what happened i don't remember what happened like the last episode i had to go back and watch the

episode just to even i was like i don't remember any of this i think it was the episode when i started yeah i started making fun of riley for being crippled i didn't remember any of that it was awful it was either that one or like at the end of it with dick on he was like eating chicken wings or eating chicken legs or something at the end of it like waving those around yeah that was good times i drank over a fifth of vodka that that episode that was awful yeah you really impressed me with that i thought i was keeping up and i felt and i way more than you and the next day i was just like if it was the one where you were talking about riley then that was the one where i chipped my tooth that that evening whether grinding my teeth forgot to put my retainer the thing about remembering which drinking episode was which is this they're drinking episodes so i it's it's it's

it's a real gamble i don't know yeah i'm glad i've got a reprieve from those for a while speaking of of yeah i'm i'm not i'm not mad about it. Yeah, the thing about... Well, this is kind of different, but with the whole Chinese flu and shit. Corona disease. Yeah, the coronavirus coming out of there. There has to be a marking opportunity they're missing out on. Corona is very upset about this, I'm sure.

There's no way they're pleased. Yeah. You couldn't have called it the Dos Equis flu or something instead of the coronavirus, You fucking assholes. But a friend of mine is married to a Chinese woman. They're both friends of mine. And they went over there like maybe six or seven days before this whole thing broke. And they were planning to be there for a month.

And they came back two weeks early and they got back like two days ago. And I was talking to him, you know, he was like, yeah, dude, it was no fucking joke. It was way harder to get out of China than it was to get into the U S like if

we would have waited a couple more days, they might've just had to quarantine our area too, even though it was way the fuck away from Wuhan or however you say it. And he was like, yeah, so we got back, they like tagged us and we have to go into a special testing center, uh,

tomorrow and then they'll test us. And two days after that, we have to go in and get tested again. And two days after that, we have to go in and get tested again because apparently it's a sleeper virus. And so it can just be in your system and you can be contagious without having any symptoms or anything which makes it you know way more dangerous of of a disease and so he was saying he doesn't mind that much because he doesn't think he has it and he gets to take like

a whole week off work but this do you guys what what are you coming down on this is this going to be like sars or h1n1 again or is this one much worse I was looking at a graph of how contagious it is I think I'm using the term right your contagious is versus how deadly it is and SARS was worth worse on both counts having said that um it seems like a big deal like a lot of people are getting this in China thousands and they're setting up uh hospitals and like right like eight days they pop up a quarantine hospital how do you do that hospitals that lock the doors lock from the outside and instead of windows they have bars is that true yeah my fear would be so if the chinese are being completely honest about

like how many people are getting it then i don't give a shit because it's like, okay, 0.01%, no, 0.001% of the Chinese population has gotten a flu. Okay. But if they're lying and like 50,000 people have it, but only 30,000 had it last week, which seems like a very Chinese thing to do. That's a bit concerning. But then I've just been punked by the news media regarding viruses so many times that I've got a real boy who cried wolf thing going on right now with that I'm much more afraid of helicopters at the moment than I am of any sort of Chinese virus. I'm with Kyle on that. I think they can be irresponsible with it. I wish they kept it in check. Like, alright, you guys

remember SARS and Ebola? Okay, worse than Ebola, not as bad as SARS. That's where we are with this. And you'd be like, oh, okay. A little, you know, like a mild concern. But it's always, you know, is this the plague that takes out humanity? And it happens with hurricanes where they all, like,

I get it, Better safe than sorry. But it also has people throwing hurricane parties on the beach because you guys cry wolf so much with it. And another thing that the doomsday type people will be like, look, every so many, every so many years, there's a plague that wipes out five to 15 percent of all of humanity. And I'm like, yeah, hundreds of years ago when we didn't know how to wash our fucking hands and we were walking around in plague masks and praying the demons away and burning women that we thought were witches causing the disease. I feel like I'm not saying that a pandemic isn't possible in the modern era. I think it's more likely to be spread wildly because of our air traffic and everything our global the global travel system Mm-hmm, but we're not the savages that we were even a hundred years ago

That's true Yeah, part of me thinks like I'd rather make too big a deal out of it And it end up being nothing then then be like, oh, this is just h1n1 again and not you know Okay, we're one off thing thing i would agree with you but the problem is what i said with the boy who cried wolf thing it's like look you you you scared me with some swine flu back when i was 20. and then and then it was this it was now the birds happen i think that's what sars was right cow disease oh yeah you're going crazy with this mad cow disease when like three people died in the planet or something like that.

Three or three. I don't know, SARS, Ebola, there's a whole list. Three people that we care about, you know? Like, like. Deeply. But I'm just not worried about the coronavirus even a little bit. I'm worried a little, because I have.

I'd be worried if I was Daniel, who just was out in Hong Kong like a month ago. Maybe he's the carrier now. I have a couple trips to Europe that I'm hoping to take. I'm like, so is that going to be a thing?

Europe's connected to China? It's probably stupid. They found cases in Germany. Yeah, okay, and they said those people had not been to China which was interesting Yeah, so maybe someone from China made it over to Germany and spread it a little bit before I go the real fear Like look there's gonna be a pandemic that actually does a thing I would imagine that it's gonna be something that the Soviets are that or we weaponized back in the fucking 60s or 70s. But that stuff is lethal.

Like it's the weaponized versions of things like anthrax and Ebola, like the stuff that's very resistant. And they put it on fucking roids, like the worst diseases that there already were. Oh, that maybe counters what I was about to say. I thought, well, since we've had plagues wipe out big chunks of people haven't we gotten good at vaccines right just give kyle a little dead corona his body builds an antidote and now you're good you think so i don't know i have no idea how any of this works yeah i just explained it yes okay you take the disease and just you take like this one this much usually give you some like dead flu or something and i was watching your body channel i was

watching a youtube channel last night and it was the history of chemical and biological weapons very cheery topic cool and uh hitler had sarin nerve gas during World War II. And they said that he would never use it because of his experiences during World War I with mustard gas. He felt like it was too far. He could have dropped sarin all over London if he wanted to. And it's incredibly deadly. It's a nerve agent. It would have killed millions. And they were like, this may be because they thought the brits had something similar and they didn't want the

reprisal and then later in the show sure enough the brits did the brits had um oh what was it there was some there was one thing called taboo and there was one thing called sarin they were both nerd oh it's anthrax that's what the br Brits had weaponized. They had weaponized anthrax because the directive of their chemical weapons facility was they wanted two things. They wanted something that could really decimate German livestock and something that could decimate German population. And they're like, how about a two for one? We've got anthrax. And they're like, oh, jolly good. And so they weaponized the fuck out of the anthrax.

And they were making tons and tons and literal tons of it but But they never used their anthrax and the Germans never used their sarin. How do you get rid of that stuff safely? you can you they they tested it on an island and It for 50 years It was uninhabitable and and only after they removed the entire top a layer of topsoil was it safe to go back? Really? Yeah. Just dump it in the ocean. It's like nature's dumpster. Well, you gotta get it off the island. They probably did after they got it off

the surface of the island. Yeah. Thank God, like, fucking India didn't have all those right after World War II where they'd be like, what are we gonna do with this? Put it in the river with all of the dead people. It's like... God knows what's in the world. The pathogens, the microbes, the parasites that are in the whole planet.

It's figured out that like cholera comes from poop and rivers and stuff like that. Yeah. Except India, who's like, I don't see what could go wrong. Where are your documents for those claims? Well, it's pretty it's pretty well accepted everywhere fake news yeah india he's going through the documents and there's literally shit on his hands smearing on licking his fingers

turns out you get color from scientific research papers just he's got his papers they're squatting over an empty hole that's so it is a new show coming to disney channel that's showing you they're all pooping in holes with no toilet paper yeah that yeah that's that's one place i don't really want to visit very much. It seems like the top of the hall would be really tight. There are lots of places with monkeys. Dude, you want to go to one of those monkey temples where the monkeys come up and try to rob you and stuff?

I mean, that would be cool. I went to the Strait of Gibraltar, and they were there. There were monkeys climbing all over us and running around. They'd steal things if you didn't hold it. Neat would be that's one of those things would be really really cool for one day but imagine if like squirrels were 10 times as smart and they had thumbs no one would be everyone would hate them i'm going to the petting zoo tomorrow and i was doing some research about this petting zoo and uh they've got all of these monkeys these rescued monkeys and they're like this is oliver he's eight years old his former

human parents weren't able to look after his special needs but he's too humanized so the other monkeys won't accept him so it's like oh my like each each animal has its own bio it's like like there was like a cat it's like this is bessie the cow her best friend carol the emu carol is rejected by the other emus because of and i'm just like oh my god like every one of these animals has like not only like physical problems but emotional ailments like they're shut down by their friends they're all depressed and rejected by their kind and and it's it's get out of here you uncle sal i like to wonder high school woody with his own son like this is woody this poor soul hasn't hit puberty

yet and he's 16 years old his friends have rejected him and girls are saying no they had like a tortoise that was like 45 years old and its owners had died. And they said, he mostly just sits in his box now. And I'm just like, where's the happy part? It just ends. This is one paragraph. Like he's a- Well, it's a tortoise, he's 45. You better cheer that fucker up.

He's got another century coming down the pike. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, all the animals were real sad, but they've got like a really cool selection of animals. And it's like the zoo, except they're happy and you get to pet them. And they've all got like friends. I went to the saddest petting zoo in the year.

This is probably like six years ago. We took our kids to the petting zoo. Oh my God, they all had fleas. All of them, tons and tons of fleas. There's like camels and you pet them and the fleas jump. You know who else had fleas? We did, we had fleas after the petting zoo it's just like oh god this is the worst petting zoo ever what an awful petting so how did i get any return

business i love that petting zoo it just makes you so goddamn itchy you know boys i'm itching for another trip to the pet i'm gonna steal some of that emu soap I saw. I'm not paying for my own. I haven't been to a petting zoo in a hot minute, but I love them as kids. I feel like the regular zoo is literally animal prison. It is, but I would like to tour

a regular prison too, just to see how it looked. Oh, I would too. I mean, maybe not now, but... Well well you don't have to yeah well that is different they found my who you've been talking to nobody angry hispanic man yeah i'd like to see their signs. You know, like, this is dust. Dust is in here because he dealt cocaine and has

a real problem with chomos, but loves exercising. His friends include, you know, Roger and whoever. I like the signs, the little bios. He spent so much time hanging out with monkeys as a child that his fellow Hispanic rejects him.

What is he hanging out with monkeys as a child that his fellow hispanic rejects him what does he hang out with now taylor i mean now he just goes to the petting zoos oh oh my god i didn't get that until till i don't understand yeah we're just on my petting zoos that's what it was right yeah? It was Petting Zeus. Taylor, have you streamed lately? No, I've been so fucking busy since getting back from vacation. When I do have a couple hours free on a night, I just want to sit and do nothing. I'm reading another Stephen King book right now. I went to the bookstore and got a few books. I'm reading one about like Like hold the whole rise, you know fall everything of Rome like I love reading about ancient Rome

I got under the dome which is a Stephen King book about a city in Maine where they drop a big thick You know dome around the entire town and then it's kind of just tracking the little gangs that form within there and then what happens and what doesn't main character's name's barbie he's a cool guy yeah and so i'm enjoying that so far it's really interesting because like right away like this one guy has like snapped had a mental breakdown and murdered a couple people and he has but he has no idea about the dome so he's like he hears all the ambulances and the police, and he's like, they already found the bodies. Oh, no. But slowly he realizes, I'm in the clear here.

All right, all right. It's a cool book. Like all Stephen King novels, you start out fearing the outside monster, but then it kind of comes full circle where we are kind of the worst monster in the book by the end, like humanity is. Even in It, you've got an interdimensional creature that the human mind can't even process

an embodiment for, and yet a middle school bully is the scariest thing in the whole book. Yeah. He wants to carve his name in your belly. Yeah yeah it's pretty fucked yeah that was carving into your belly even his friends are like whoa henry i thought you were kidding he's already got the h made yeah i'm on so i'm reading this uh sci-fi series called

illumini i've been close to that luminae and uh in the first one which i read a few months ago i really enjoyed it and the main character, like this heroine, was this female chick, female chick, and she was a hacker. So when things went crazy, when things went tips up, her hacker skills became very important, and it made her useful. She's getting information, she's forming a resistance,

like the French did almost. All right, cool. The second time around, there's another female heroine. I didn't know this coming in. But this chick is like Krav Maga and boxing and whatever. And I'm not loving that. Look, if a woman's going to beat up three dudes, she needs to have superpowers, right? That superpowers can't be. Frankly, if anyone's going to beat up three dudes she needs to have superpowers right that superpowers can't be if anyone's gonna beat up three dudes sure they're gonna need some superpowers i i don't i don't think john jones

can beat up three adult males who know how to fight not if they know what they're doing yeah you you might have picked the baddest guy on the entire planet but that's why i picked him i i think three not if they know what him. I think three 200- Well, not if they know what they're doing. Take three 200-pound guys who go to their local boxing, jiu-jitsu gym every week and have them have a powwow,

like a little huddle. And Jon Jones is over there like, come on, come on. And they're like, all right, look. I'm just going low. I'm going to wrap at least one leg. I'm going to bite it and I'm going to hold on for my dear life I'm going to bite it and I'm going to

hold on for my dear life. John, if you could just get one arm, that's all I need. If you could get one, he's going to hit you. I know it's going to be bad, but now we've covered you in super glue for a reason, John. You're not letting go of this man's arm. Get the right arm. That's his strong one. Of course he can kill you with the left too but there's only three of us john i'm gonna go for his eyes i don't know about this strategy i i don't know i think i like john in this scenario and i double like him if you just grab super glue there's a lot of glue just grab three guys from the bleachers you're an even more rub your hand full of glue in his eyes. Boom, you win. Now I've been covering myself in my own feces for three weeks.

He is not going to want to wrap up. We've all been doing that. He's just in this ring again. For the last time, I don't want to fight any of you. Shut up! Shut up, you're covered in shit. If you put the whole girl thing aside, I'm't want to fight any of you. Shut up! Shut up, you're covered in shit. Right. If you put the whole girl thing aside, I'm kind of digging this book.

I'm almost finished the second one. Nice. Yeah, I read a book in prison. I talked about it before on the show, but I think it's called The Fifth Wave. It's an alien invasion type book with a real cool twist ending. You basically follow a 14 or 15, maybe 16-year-old girl, and's like a lone survivor surviving in this world she's got her ar-15 and like what little survive

survival gear she has and she thinks back to how things began and and the the titular fifth wave is is all about how the aliens use multiple things to deal with humanity. There's the first wave, and I think that might have been knocking all the electricity out. And then the second wave might have been like these kinetic weapons, which is basically when you drop something big and heavy

and use gravity to hit the oceans. And we got Soleimani. Yeah, well, I think they just use missiles for him, right? I could be wrong. Anyway. I know we have those cool kinetic missiles, yeah. Yeah, they'd use missiles for him right i could be wrong anyway i know we have those cool kinetic missiles yeah yeah they'd have to drop those from space but in any case um they use those to like make huge tidal waves that kill a huge amount of the population and then the third wave might have been a plague i think it was and then i won't spoil what the fourth wave is because that's a big part of the book that's like what what's happening as the book begins and then the fifth wave is what's like sort of coming at the very end yeah it's cool it hurt

everyone's feelings i think they made a movie out of it and it failed because it was like coming out right in the middle of the same time that like hunger games and stuff like that and that stuff really overshadowed it that shadowed it but it was a cool story this book that i'm the sci-fi books that i really really like impacted by usually have some level of complexity to them you know like i'm trying to keep up with what the book is the the problems that they're throwing at the characters this one's not like that it's a little more action oriented but i'm like this is almost made to be a movie it's like this could be hung It's Hunger Games level fun. I wonder if it'll ever become a movie.

The big challenge that I have with it is the main character is different in the first and second book, and I'll assume the third. Imagine if Jennifer Lawrence became a big star in Hunger Games and second time around, it's somebody else new. Yeah, I don't like that.

They might have to change it. I really enjoyed that fifth wave. There's three or four of them. They're an easy read, though.'t like that. They might have to change it. I really enjoyed that fifth wave, but there's like three or four of them. They're an easy read, though. It's fun. Maybe I'll check that out. It's like Harry Potter, but more grounded, except there's aliens. And they do aliens better than any book, completely different than any book has ever done.

This isn't too much of a spoiler, because right away she right away she says this she's like when you think alien invasion you probably think like big motherships like blowing up cities and little green men running around with laser guns we've never seen them it's been years and we've never seen one like yeah and it's pretty cool i like this it's pretty cool i like it when they they're like devices they're like you can their mothership is so big. You can see it all day long. It's just up there. Like,

like there they are in style. Yeah. I am 11, 22, 63, 63. Okay. They did time travel.

They put their own twist on time travel and the right of that of the gate. They're like, all right, let me define how time travel works in our universe. You walk through, it takes you here. You go back, it stays. But when you walk through again, you reset. And so these are the complexities. You want to go five years later, it takes five years of your life to get there. And this is what we're trying to do. And I liked it because we kind of know the

rules of time travel, right? They're from back to the Future, mostly. But these guys laid out in this book, this is how we do it. And I thought it was neat. I like, you can, if you look at it from a new direction, you can get a new story. The TV show is quite good. I talked about it here, but like, it's James Franco. And I like James Franco. He does a really good job of, he's the main character, you know, the one who goes back in time to save JFKk and uh you know it plays out pretty close to how the books go but but not note for note so it's good i liked it it's a mini series maybe it's on hulu i've read two popular books lately and they they weren't for me uh one was do android's dream of electric sheep which is now blade runner

and the other was uh the hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Yeah, well, it's what Blade Runner is based on. Oh, man, Blade Runner is a way better name. That's way cooler. Maybe that's why they changed it. Yeah, well, it's like Do Androids Dream of Sheep is sort of like one of the overriding questions that's being pondered philosophically in the in in blade runner but a blade runner is the is the name of the guy who goes out and hunts down the fucking androids who are posing as humans i don't think they ever

referred to him as a blade runner in the book he's just a bounty hunter ah well they gave him a name they gave him a cool name in the yeah yeah okay um yeah, both of those books, wildly popular, like sci-fi classics that people know of. And both of them for me were like, man, I'm enjoying the ones people don't seem to know as much. I've got another one for you if you want more sci-fi that's a real epic. And if you were to get into it, you've got like tons of material to like keep going. And that is Dune. D-U-N-E.

I read that as a kid, but it was a little above my level like i don't know that i was really getting it it's a little difficult um you know you follow paul atreides who is like you know it's sort of a stereotypical chosen one type story and everybody shits on the movie even the director like i didn't make that movie they're like yeah he did not him but uh but i like the original patrick stewart's in it when he still has some hair it's uh it's fun i like it maybe i'll give it sting is in it sting's wearing um this cod piece that doesn't have like all he's wearing uh is like it looks like the skimpiest bikini that a European man would ever wear except it doesn't even connect around the hips

it sort of like comes up from the crotch and turns into a T and that T ends it's like a big maxi pad that covers the front some more I'm going to show you a picture of it you're going to love this I already love it I was wrong in my description attached to his penis. I'm going to show you a picture of it. You're going to love this.

I already love it. I was wrong in my description of it. No, I'm not. It's like the... I'm just going to link you to the... This is a poor link, but you can click the image, I think, and get the open the photo. Yeah. And then you can zoom in.

Look at that. That's ridiculous. Yeah, that's you can zoom in. Look at that. That's ridiculous. Yeah, that's what he's wearing. Is that all he ever wears? He puts some clothes on later because he's got to go into combat and stuff, but he kind of chills out wearing that. He's from this planet that's just like super toxic waste, and his dad is like this disgusting human being,

like the antithesis of him. I really like the movie. I think it's cool sci-fi, but it's really poorly done. They're remaking it in some form or facet. I know soon. I think it's on Netflix. No, it's not. I mean, the movie might be, but there's a remake coming.

That's either a movie or television show. I'm not sure which. And I'm pretty pumped about that. As pumped as I am for the Lord of the Rings, honestly. Yeah. I'm keeping expectations down for Lord of the Rings, but I'm absolutely going to watch that the second it comes out, for sure.

Did you see where J.R.R. Martin said that he thought Jamie Lannister would defeat Aragorn in a sword fight? Oh, well, that's foolhardy. That's retarded, right? That's insane. Insane! sword fight. Oh, well that's foolhardy. That's retarded, right? That's insane. Insane! How could we evaluate the skills of these people?

Like, you can- Well, it's pretty- What the heck? Aragorn is like a meta human. Like he's a super human. Like he's not. But Aragorn is a pub stomper, and Jaime Lannister is a competitive fighter, right?

Like he's in tournaments where he goes against other skilled fighters correct me I could be wrong death certainly in this universe, but does Aragorn beat other good fighters boss characters Yeah, all the time. Yeah, help me several of them Well, he defeated the the leader of the uruk-hai that that came after him That was like that giant uruk-hai like like he defeated him and so in single combat Okay, one who throws the knife at him and he bats it away with his sword the one that killed boromir yeah oh but but he's also but he kills all sorts of supernatural things that are like also bigger stronger faster than humans all sorts of trolls and and stuff like that you know he battles monsters

whereas jamie lannister just beats up a bunch of like prissy nobleborn people and jamie lannister grew up in like the lap of luxury like he's got every benefit everything you're 90 years old almost yeah aragorn's got a lot more experience in fighting than he does jamie lannister's never killed the cave troll i just want to point against the of the what the valor people right because those tournaments had like the mountain and the hound in it. And they had the best, not just the nobles. It was sometimes nobles who read trainers and were the best, but, uh, there was all, they took all comers. Sure. But, but, and he's, he was also a pub stomper, you know,

Jamie Lannister was as well, you know, right. Yeah. And killed tons of people, but I think the important thing that, that distinguishes them is that aragorn is a supernatural being who killed supernatural beings yeah for a magic sword i have it right harry potter dude dumbledore he's the dumbledore is the is the the strongest wizard in harry potter versus gandalf uh well it seems like when you kill gandalf unless his mission's done he just comes back stronger until he completes it i think that dumbledore would win that just because of the the difference between magic and

the harry potter versus the um game or lord of the rings universes because like there's there's literally a spell in harry potter that just kills anything you put it on and and uh yeah harry potter is like and i don't know that much about harry potter but i do know that the magic in harry potter seems to be more like get out of jail free cards whereas in lord of the rings it's like like when he fought the balrog in the minds of moria you know he used magic to like deflect the giant scimitar flame and shit, but he still had to fight him with his sword. It seemed like he had very limited magic, right? Where Zumbledore would have just picked him up and dropped him in a hole.

Yeah, he could have levitated him or just sent a thousand swords out of nothing. Jedi pushes. Yeah, all that stuff. The Harry Potter magic is super versatile. That's kind of the whole thing. pushes yeah all that stuff like the harry potter magic is like super versatile it look like like that's kind of the whole thing it would be like oh my god we're locked in here harry unlock us oh we're fine yeah there's a spell to like unlock doors it's uh i can't think of it right now unlock it's not that far off uh yeah i just read all those books in prison too i read all the harry potters again oh hermione and my throat hurts i shouldn't have eaten so much

you know shepherd's pie she's like where you're going with that tonsus you're fucking fine yeah that's that's something that i really liked about lord of the rings i'm obviously biased as fucking this, is that when there was a fight coming, you knew that it wasn't going to happen, that Gandalf could just go God mode and be like, everyone just wiped, fucking dead, end, done. You knew it was going to have to be some strategy, some tactics, whereas, at least from what I remember,

a few things watching Harry Potter with my youngest brother when he would watch those, it would be like, stakes least from what I remember, a few things watching Harry Potter with my youngest brother when he would watch those. It would be like something might be, stakes might be high, and it wouldn't be that they didn't think there was a spell that could get them out of it. It would be, what's the name of that spell again? Oh no, what's the name of it?

And then Hermione's like, it's get my ass out of this atronium. And it's like, oh, did they get my ass out of this atronium? And oh, thank God. That worked good. Oh, we got this time-shifting spell that we're going to never ever use except for this one time, even though it is

ostensibly the most... That's a time, Turner, and they were all destroyed in the next movie when Harry went to the Ministry of Mysteries or the, yeah, to get his prophecy. He destroyed all the time, the uh went to the ministry of uh mysteries or the the yeah to to get his prophecy he destroyed all the time turner so they about the ministry of eat my ass harry i take it mean too they were it was a it was jenny i think she used the reducto spell and all the shelves fell and she destroyed them all that dumb bitch yeah i don't know enough yeah mostly the the

real drama in harry potter is that their children and the most powerful wizard and his gang of like also powerful wizards are after Harry Potter the whole time. Yeah. Like an evil, powerful wizard named Voldemort. Everybody knows that is after him all the time. And his magic sort of pales in comparison.

You know, it's, it's like Voldemort's like an mma champion and harry's just like an amateur boxer and so every fight they have goes but there's three harry's and they have glue i think you're greatly underestimating them but the terror that a glued up angry man could present if you're right like he'd be on me. I'm going to be furious. If you cover me in superglue, I'll just have one arm. Be like, guys, this isn't working

like we thought. I'm stuck to me. I'm getting dizzy from the fumes. Turpentine or something real sticky. Tar or something. Yeah, but you put hot tar all over yourself. Then you'd be really fired up. You would be fired up. I can't remember what tribe it was

where right before they went into battle, they would take that wet sinew and tie it around their testicles because when it dries, it shrinks. And so when they are charging into battle, they want to die. They're in like a bloodlust. Let me see if I can find what tribe that was.

Isn't that how you castrate sheep? Yeah. Yeah, I guarantee this tribe did not have a legacy of victory. They didn't have a legacy at all. That's how you castrate people. Yeah, this is... Where the fuck was this tribe of retards? We're going to wrap a sinew around our nutsacks

and then be as bummed out about the fact that we lose every battle we've ever been in their nutsacks are free and clear it's an unfair advantage all right guys we're oh and 111 which which means statistically, we're due. No one beats us 112 times in a row. No one. Now, do you think we should forego the nutsack thing? Okay, I found it. From Sutherland Watts, Henry V, the Maoris.

I've heard of them. Yeah, they're the New Zealand natives. They would tie wet rawhide around their testicles before going into battle to render themselves as the rawhide dried and shrank berserk fighters. Really? It seems like it would just give you nausea. Right? I've had torsion testicle. I didn't like it. Don't think I was a more effective fighter either.

I've been hitting the balls before, and the last thing I'm thinking is like, oh, I'm so mad, I'm going tosion testicle. I didn't like it. Don't think I was a more effective fighter either. I've been hitting the balls before, and the last thing I'm thinking is like, oh, I'm so mad. I'm going to get in a fight. It's more just like, I just want to sit off to the side for a little while. Yeah. Recoup.

Time out. I have some rawhide on my nutsack. Yeah. I'm not saying it worked, boys. I'm just telling you they did it. The origin of the necktie comes from a very similar tradition where they would, you know, wrap those around their necks and they thought they had magical powers to protect you in battle.

To be clear, Kyle, we're not saying you're dumb. We're saying they're dumb. Yeah, the Maori didn't... Like the British just showed up. They created so many technological advances like the... Like the driftwood with shark teeth embedded in it yeah that thing i could have invented that yeah that thing's absurd yeah that thing is it's like oh and the obsidian is even sharper than metal and it's like bitch you guys just couldn't figure out how to

make swords stop it stops being stop acting like high and mighty on your islands there with your obsidian. You compare it historically. They had dope-ass steel in the Middle Ages in Europe and these places. You guys had shark teeth in Asia and Europe. Although obsidian does create a sharper edge than we can still create with steel to this day. I think they still use

obsidian in some surgeries. Maybe eye surgeries and obsidian blades. It is sharper sharper that's true but it's more of a thing of like it's not durable whatsoever if i have a steel sword going up against kyle he has an obsidian thing every time we hit blades i'm gonna like destroy your weapon yeah it's just gonna fall apart we're an hour in but i just want to say this real quick. While we were talking, my friend got back and told us how his flight went on the paramotor. For whatever reason, he got his phone out and called his wife. His phone wasn't tethered to the paramotor like I do. Oh, no.

Yeah. So the long and short of it is, quickly into the call, he dropped his phone. the long and short of it is quickly into the call he dropped his phone but what his wife heard is oh no surrounded by the phone falling a thousand feet and crashing two hours wondering if her husband was dead you've been pranked bitch this is a social experiment because he dropped his phone so yeah that's funny well glad he's not actually dead me too bkn 284 yep