Painkiller Already - PKN #291
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PKN episode 291.
Taylor can't be with us tonight.
He has a family emergency, but we expect to come back soon.
Yeah, yeah.
He'll be back tomorrow.
Should be.
Yeah, sorry we did the show today.
I like having the show out on Tuesday, so you get a little more value out of us.
But yesterday we had a whole thing where, not playing it on Taylor, but Taylor had to postpone.
Yesterday, we had a whole thing where, not playing it on Taylor, but Taylor had to postpone.
He had an early or a late dinner or something, an early dinner.
And then we couldn't work our schedules out to accommodate him.
So we like to get everybody in.
But impossible, impossible this week.
So it's just Woody and I.
You get a Woody and Kyle show, which I don't think is so bad.
Nobody likes that Taylor guy anyway.
Him and his accents.
He can't even play Tarkov, that guy guy how many rubles does he have no right not one so i made a finance video today because this stock market stuff is kind of all
over my mind i tried to look into you so uh i think we were either playing together i just hung
out while kyle was playing and he said Woody, what do you think of this,
the actions that Trump is taking
to help with the stock market?
And I was like, I feel like I don't know the details yet.
So I looked into it.
I don't know that the details are knowable.
Like the-
They're not, they're not.
It's TBD, as he said today at his conference,
to be determined.
Yeah, I've heard something about a $1.5 trillion bailout of different industries.
I've heard $1 trillion and the different amounts for different...
I know the airlines, the number I heard was $50 billion that they were going to get.
And then other industries, like all of the other industries maybe...
How do I get my palm out for that money, huh? I find tandem sometimes. First step is don't be an independent contractor or a self-employed
individual. It looks like all of you guys out there who are like, especially if you're in an
affected industry, you're going to get a check. How much it's going to be is TBD, as Mr. Trump says, but $700 to $2,000, I would guess.
You're just going to get a check.
Your taxes are pushed off until well into the summer, it seems.
Your deadline on that.
Lots of huge stuff.
I was talking to my dad about – I'm sorry, if you want to continue with the finance thing.
This is fine. I guess what I was going to say was,
historically, these plans haven't been as bad
or as expensive as we think they are.
Now, I know nothing about this plan.
I don't know that it's knowable.
But the auto bailouts, they made money.
And the auto bailout I was kind of for, and I was right.
It really did help them.
They really did need it.
And because of that, we still have a vibrant GM and Ford.
And, you know, like it was the right idea to invest in them.
And they came back and did well.
They did.
TARP, the Troubled Asset Relief Program.
In short, for you guys that don't know, there were all these, they changed the rules that made it easy to lend Ford's mortgages in particular.
The thought process was, hey, we'll lend to riskier people,
but if we take 100 riskier people,
then that risk is averaged out.
You know, if I make one loan to a bad guy,
then that could go really horribly wrong.
If I make 100 loans, then on average,
we can predict how they'll do,
and that was the idea, that you pull these mortgages
and you can lower your standards. And it didn't work out that way. A lot of people weren't able you pull these mortgages and you can lower your standards.
And it didn't work out that way.
A lot of people weren't able to pay their mortgages.
There were all these foreclosures, et cetera.
So the government came in and said, we'll buy this bad debt.
We'll do the troubled asset relief program.
And I was against it.
I was like, this is awful.
We have socialism for the rich, but not for the poor.
We have private losses. no, I'm sorry,
private gains, but public losses.
And I was outrageous.
I was wrong though.
The Troubled Asset Relief Program made money.
Not only did it like bail out banks,
banks really did go out of business,
but it bailed out and they were consolidating.
And anyway, they bailed out the banks,
which is actually a good thing.
And the government made money on these troubled assets. So I was wrong at the time, I made the wrong call.
I wrote my congressman, told him,
I could never vote for you again.
But I was wrong.
It turned out to be a plan that was better than I understood.
So here, one and a half trillion dollars they're spending,
that's the number that I've heard,
I don't know what to make of it.
Yeah, I heard a trillion today.
Okay.
Who knows though?
They're throwing around hundreds of billions of dollars.
Around W's time.
I don't know if you were in the working world
during W's time.
But he gave out $600 to everybody.
And what it actually was was a sort of advance on your tax refund.
So if you would normally owe nothing, you'd owe $600.
If you'd normally get $1,000 back, you'd get $400 back.
People are keeping up.
So I don't know what this, you said $700 to $2,000.
This is free money.
Well, yeah, yeah.
So Trump keeps, you know, it's going to, Congress has to do this.
It's not Trump like Trump has.
Right, right.
He doesn't run the treasury.
I mean, he kind of does.
He's just influential.
Yeah, but it seems like they have bipartisan support to get some money to the American people.
And everybody wants to give, he's like, everybody wants to go high with it.
And I'm good with that.
And so they're like, they start doing some quick math, you know, like four to go high with it. And I'm good with that. So they start doing some quick math.
Like a four-person family and this amount.
There's 330 million Americans and $700 a person.
Well, TBD, but we all want to go higher.
We all want to go higher.
All right.
We'll see.
But I don't think they're going to give any money to us.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't like the idea of not giving to the rich.
And it sounds self-serving.
Oh, it has nothing to do with the rich.
I'm listening. You think it's the dependent contractors?
I think it's people who are, yeah, yeah. I think they're going to really try to target the most affected industries. Not that we're not, I mean, I guess we're not really being affected by this, but personally speaking on a financial level,
if anything, more people are around to watch our content.
Maybe.
On the other hand, I could imagine ad revenues drying up in a few months or even right away.
I don't know. I mean, Amazon is flourishing.
I see both sides.
And a lot of big companies are about to get injected with a bunch of cash that they can
pump right back into that ad revenue world.
Maybe.
I'm just.
Yeah.
Anyway, who knows?
Lots of huge monumental things are happening.
Like that's where I was leading to earlier when I was talking to my dad today.
And he's like, I don't think I've ever seen anything like this in my lifetime.
I'm like, I don't think so either.
I got to do some research.
But there's so many things happening.
to do some research like like but i don't there's so many things happening like i saw that uh
nobody nobody can be evicted for the next couple months regardless from hud i don't know that that's i don't know but i think that that's the government housing and urban development program
but i again it's hard to get details on so many of these things yeah i watched like 40 minutes of
the press conference today.
And my understanding was, and I guess maybe I didn't pay very close attention to that
particular portion.
But my understanding was, nobody's getting thrown out for the next couple months, you
know, there's because there's so many people out there in the restaurant industry, the
that are just basically files.
Yeah, restaurants. Airlines.
I mean, I'm sure that like...
In the short term, airlines are running empty planes.
If you're in a really quarantined area, everything.
You know, bus driver.
Yeah.
Buses aren't running.
I didn't know that.
There's a lot of places with quarantines.
Now, maybe that especially affects other countries
because like in Italy, they're locked the fuck down.
I keep seeing videos.
They are having a grand time on their balconies.
Reddit's like, we get it, Italy, you've all got balconies.
Cool.
I saw one guy who's like, you know,
showing pictures of people playing tennis
on their balconies and singing,
other guys with instruments, and his balcony's crazy.
Did you see the one guy putting on a concert? But this but this guy no but this guy was on the not cool side
of the building just all by himself oh i saw a guy playing uh my heart will go on which
is the celine dion song from titanic okay and he's playing on the piano very well very
well and and and maybe his girlfriend or whoever is over his shoulder
Sort of panning from him to the many people out on balconies
He's in like a one of those like u-shaped apartment complexes
so like everybody's out there like what listening and then all of a sudden you hear a
saxophone joint and she looks over and some guy like on like one floor down and like
five some guy like on like one floor down and like five apartments to the right is like
jamming out with him and he's like all right all right and he like slows down a little so
that guy can like catch his beat and then done and then they just keep just jamming
the crowd's like wow it's a musicians have this talent it's funny like they communicate
non-verbally they it just takes a couple of beats and suddenly they know how to play together
They've never met but they're cool. They know the song they know the song, you know, it's uh, I don't know
I guess it would be like dancing or something, you know, if you both know how to two-step, you know
Yeah, just get in rhythm with each other
You know the song that might be the case in this one. Sometimes I feel like they don't they just know how to play together
I mean, yeah, I don't know music like people sometimes I think maybe what you mean is like
But the saxophone doesn't play every every note like but the saxophone has a way to play that song
Because it's not a lead instrument. Normally. It's it's like an accompaniment to the piano and he
To credit what you said you're absolutely right the sax guy like knew when to be
in and when to be out and he was it was pretty cool it's super cool he's done it before he's
done this before so um it's crazy out there man i'm i wouldn't know i'm at a one now i'm at a one
my most concerned level it's uh it's it's pretty nutty so many on stuff that I've never
seen before I don't think maybe you've ever anybody's ever seen I feel like I
have I dude I remember in 2008 during the housing crash I'm reading articles
about how guns were going to be a more familiar and important part of our life
and they they talked about the path that like either Nicaragua or Venezuela or
one of those South American countries took and you're like you know first it's pistols and then you know it
just becomes normal to see ak's on subways but we're gonna become a banana republic essentially
and and they talked about like the de-evolution is kind of slow and you know there'll be guns and
there'll be more danger and crime will be higher, but it's basically where you live
and it's what you're used to.
And none of that came true.
None of that came true.
America's just like America in 2004, whatever.
Stay off that Facebook, man.
In 19, this was before that.
I think, I don't know what it was,
what if it was dig.com.
Same group of friends, though.
Probably.
In 1987, right, that stock market crash was huge.
500 points, right?
By now that's adorable, but the market was lower.
It was a really big drop as a percentage.
And, you know, we thought it like,
it would just never be the same again.
That there was a fundamental, like redrawing
of the architecture that is the financial markets.
And it wasn't.
Less than a year later.
This is like a slow burn 9-11.
This is like, with like no end in sight.
Like there was that fear right after 9-11 for a while
where it was like, is this gonna happen like every week?
Like our plane's just gonna start falling from the sky
like every other week, every month,
is this the new thing?
I don't wanna work in a tall building.
Fuck no.
Like you start seeing people talk about new
technologies to escape high rises like it's because you thought maybe now that's part of
life is escaping your 30-story apartment or or office building and you know it but the fear right
now i think is like are we gonna cap this thing is it are we gonna blunt the curve as they say and is it gonna you know be on the downturn by
by summer i hope so i think so you know what i like i'm sorry you're still guessing yeah like
by july like it's still a thing but but we people aren't locked in houses anymore i feel like an
irresponsible fox news host calling this a big democratic hoax. But China is on the other side,
right? If we can believe that. So they say. I hear you. But if we get, you know, the doctors
are taking off their masks. They're saying Corona is defeated. There's no new cases, etc. I've also
heard there's a second bump, like maybe post-quarantine, the people who haven't developed
that immunity are getting it. South Korea is on the other side
of this thing, right? You know, they've seen their spike and it's a bell curve and they're
on the second half of it. So I look at that and I'm like, okay, so this thing takes like four to
six weeks and then you get on the other side of it and life is back to life. It would not surprise me
if like from a sickness standpoint, we follow that same path, right? Sometime in April, we're on the downside of this.
It's no longer the big story and we're onto something else.
And if this in a roundabout way,
right now it's killing Trump, right?
A lot of people feel like,
well, he's lying the entire way through.
CNN is kissing his ass.
I don't know.
Maybe, okay, well, I might be a day or two behind,
but they were beating the fuck out of him previously, because he just lied.
He lied.
You should go on our conservative and see all the clips they have of CNN hosts like
praising Trump's performance.
Okay.
They're loving him the last three, two or three days.
So I'm out of date.
But Trump was getting his ass kicked when he was just lying about it when he was playing
it down when he was saying it was a Democrat.
The Democrats tried to get me on the Russia thing, but they tried to get me on my perfect call.
They tried this.
This is the latest hoax, right?
That's what he said.
And they beat him up.
I think if you go towards June, three months from now, that he's going to look like the guy who beat Corona.
I think so, too.
I think this is going to be part of his reelection campaign.
Like when they show that montage commercial of his accomplishments, ISIS on the run, you know, economy up, blah, blah, blah.
Jobs, freedom, America, Corona's dead.
Like, you know, I think I think so.
Yeah. So that's interesting. It's politics season, you know,
that they had a good preface press conference today, like,
like they had good answers for all the questions. You know,
they asked about the ventilators, and they're like,
Oh, we got 1000s of those coming. We've got this company
doing this and this company doing that mass mass are going
to be problem in a few days. We've got millions on the way.
It's like, all right. All right.
True, but they all lie. i have our trump lies so have you
seen the timeline of his different quotes oh yeah yeah yeah yeah those i fact checked it they're all
true quotes they're all things he said on those dates i looked it i was like is this true this
is ridiculous no trump is ridiculous he lied he denied he was and and then it turned
around to i knew it was a pandemic before anybody else
Literally shit. He said um
I saw one thing I don't think I do think is bullshit though that they need to lay off him the the reporter
One of the reporters cornered him today. I was a question. She said
Why are you calling this a Chinese virus?
This is there there Asian Americans being targeted. Isn't it racist to call this
a Chinese virus? He's, I call it a Chinese virus because it's from China. And I was like,
fair enough. He's like, China? I don't know if you've seen. They're saying that it's an
American virus, that American soldiers created this virus.
I can't allow that.
It's a Chinese virus.
I haven't seen that.
And I don't, drop lies about everything he says.
That's accurate.
I've seen that as well.
Is it?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I feel like it's called the coronavirus
and he's gotta call it the Chinese virus
for like just to not be wrong, to stick to his guns.
What's he doing?
Wuhan flu?
No, it's definitely a Chinese virus like it's it's it is from China yeah things
that are from China are Chinese mm-hmm that's how that works so he's almost
about to zoom in on like that the little the virus close-ups you know you can see
all the little receptors and then it's got like slanted eyes too.
Jesus Christ.
It's got one of those patty hats.
Is that what that's called? A patty hat?
Yeah, I think so. Like a rice patty hat.
I can picture it. Yeah.
The Vietnamese wear them too.
Yeah.
It's like a nice hat.
That wasn't meant to be a slur.
Oh, you said it did the job. That wasn't meant to be a slur. Oh, you said...
It really wasn't.
That's just the noise it makes when I tip a hat.
It really wasn't.
I swear.
I got no problem with slurs.
So, yeah, I don't know.
Big stuff going on.
Are people in your world quarantined?
Or just staying home?
I am 100% quarantined. I am not going,
I haven't been in my car in
10 days, I guess. Like, like I haven't gone anywhere.
The last delivery I got, I made sure I had enough like meat.
So I got 10 pounds of meat and froze it and then that that was about a week ago
So nothing has come in or gone out
of my house and and at least a week I
Really don't want to get it. You know, everybody's like, oh, yeah, you just you'll be fine. You're 20 or 30
No, no
I keep reading that a lot of the critical patients in Dallas right now are in their 20s and 30s.
And no matter how old you are, they're talking about it causes permanent lung damage.
I think, my understanding is we're all going to get it.
This is not the walking dead virus.
I think we all get it.
It's just that afterwards your body has, the problem is it's new and your body doesn't know how to fight it.
Afterwards it won't be.
And it'll just be part of the annual flu shot.
No, we're not all gonna get it.
I think we are.
No, why would you think that?
Because.
We didn't all get bird flu or swine flu.
H1N1 is.
I've never had the mumps.
H1N1, I forget the other name for that.
Is that bird flu?
I think it is.
We did all get it.
And it is normal. The rates for that transmission. I bet you have. It's did all get it and it is normal the rates for that
transmission i bet you have it's just i've never had the flu oh well then you're special i bet i
have then uh it's just if you look at it's part of the annual flu shot now like it's a normal
like widespread thing this came from sanjay gupta i disagree Sanjay. There's no way we're all going to get coronavirus because
then like 3% of the global population would die.
When they talk about flattening the curve, they're not talking about avoiding
corona. They're talking about not overwhelming our healthcare systems
so that we don't all get it at once. I don't think that that's
all that. A big part of flattening the curve is
the red line is the ability of our healthcare system
to like handle X amount of patients.
You've always got that horizontal line,
but I think the thing is extinguishing the virus,
like making sure there's no more of it,
like letting it run its course in the people who have it
and quarantining them.
That's why these- We're not all getting this.
I completely disagree with Sanjay.
These are not facts.
These are statistics or something like that.
I forget what he said.
I disagree with Sanjay.
There's no way we're all getting this because then every 3% of the human population would die in the next five years.
And that can't just from this. That 3% number the human population would die in the next five years. And that can't, just from this.
That 3% number is disputed.
It's 3% of people who were like diagnosed die from it.
But the people who are getting tested are the worst patients.
They're the people who are having the most trouble.
Many other people, like I think three guys
on the Utah Jazz tested positive.
And a couple of guys from the New York.
They used up like 15% of the entire.
On the NBA, yeah.
Yeah, in Utah, like I wish I remember the exact percentage,
but it was like the Utah Jazz got like 25%
of the Corona tests for all of Utah.
They're not even that good at ball.
That's probably, I hope that's inaccurate now
is as many more tests. I gotta know for sure. Yeah, I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm hope that's inaccurate now is there's many more tests. I got to know for sure.
Yeah, I'm not saying you're wrong.
I'm just hoping that they've added 10,000 more tests and that number's small.
But a couple guys in the Knicks have had it.
A couple guys in Utah Jazz have had it.
And none of them knew they had it.
They're only being tested because they're important assets.
60%.
60%.
That's outrageous.
So my point is probably everyone on these teams will get it
right everyone in america will get it but most of us will get it like the utah jazz did in which
they didn't even know that guy who tested positive the first one who touched the mics he was gonna
play that night he didn't know he was sick oh i know he didn't i i just don't know where this like
idea that we're all gonna get it could how that could be accurate because like we're quarantining we're treating and preventing the
spread of it and once we do that it's gone slowing down the spread of it so that we don't
over what we can but we can stop the spread of it like like if you keep quarantining these people
and then treating them and and they don't spread it to anybody else then it just stops because it comes from eating bat soup
it started that way but now yeah we'll see i i am like it it it can't live without a host right
you know it's like it's it's like a sci-fi just like the flu but it doesn't stop it just exists
every year that's because there's people with it though hmm i i could be wrong it happens a lot more than
i knew it used to realize but i like everybody i think i'm right all right i think you're wrong
yeah but but the polite way to say that is sanjay gooped as a dumbass
i don't i do not co-sign as. As a noted virologist myself,
this Dr. Sanjay.
Yeah, what does he know?
Where's he from anyway?
He doesn't have an accent.
I think he's American, but I can't be sure.
No, he doesn't.
He's a very tricky one.
So yeah, I don't know.
That's my Corona stuff.
I'm continuing to exercise my Tarkar base quarantine.
I didn't even play yesterday, really.
I just played offline.
Playing labs offline has been my new thing.
I saw a guy.
He went into labs with a thick items case
and a thick weapons case.
Obviously, you can't even, at this point,
because of the weight restrictions, you can't even
really move well with that. So he immediately
hides them in the map.
And he runs around the map killing 16
raiders, taking everything,
even their ball caps and sunglasses.
And he fills those
cases up. And he's got like three minutes
left before the raid's gonna end.
And he's like, we can make one more trip.
And he's just going
back for more just more more more he got 4.2 million rubles of stuff in one raid did he have
thermals on no oh i saw like oh never i i may have saw that and didn't fully comprehend what he did i
saw another guy rock this tarkov in tarkov you can put a thermal in front of your helmet and flip it down.
Your vision is just like, see in the dark.
And people glow white with this.
And some players feel like it's a cheat code almost,
because you can see in the dark and nobody else can.
And the people really pop.
Dead bodies do too, and there's fires here and there.
So there's some false positive, and loot does as well.
But it is a huge advantage.
The thing is, you're betting,
it's like three or four million rubles,
which is a lot of money.
My entire kit probably costs like half a million
to three quarter million rubles if I'm decked out.
So you can, three to four million is,
just to give you an idea on this one accessory,
how much you're
risking but it is a big advantage so this guy had a similar game he just killed everybody he
of the 12 players he killed like 10 himself the other two took care of themselves he killed the
raiders and he just i he got so decked out so much loot it was cool yeah i like running them
they're a lot of fun to use um i bought a bunch when the price dropped uh is that what you invested in okay yeah yeah i bought a bunch for
like 1.5 million i bought about 15 pair uh-huh so i've i've i've lost one pair ever um because
like you know you've seen like playing in a squad like we do the there'll be i let everybody know
that i'm running around with $4 million, not just
on my head, because the $4 million doesn't even count my goddamn helmet.
So, you know, $4.4 million or something if I wear my best helmet.
Yeah.
And so if I go down, they're like, all right, let's secure the goggles.
Let's secure the goggles.
Have you had them come back in insurance?
You said you lost one pair.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
So you've died here and there.
Yeah.
I've died maybe two or three
times wearing them. There's a mechanic
in Tarkov for non-players.
You can buy insurance before
your raid, and if you die, you might get
it back. Now, like, say hypothetically,
I'm not in Kyle's team. I kill him
and I take his stuff. He doesn't get it back.
But if I kill him and leave it on the map,
he does get most of his stuff back.
And so, you can commit insurance fraud.
You can hide your own stuff.
Like, if I'm to the point where I'm all full of gear, I'm going to be like, you know what?
Let me just hide my main weapon.
Let me just throw my weapon away in a bush.
I'll take your main weapon.
Mine's coming back to me in a day or two from insurance.
Nobody's finding it in that bush.
That's another thing that makes those goggles incredible.
You're looking around the map with your eagle eyes,
and I'm like, something's glowing in them bushes, boys.
Yeah.
It's a fun game.
I'm on a nine-game win streak because, like you said,
if you run with teams, you tend to do better.
I think that might be part of why I didn't play yesterday.
I was like, I'm not going to play solo and end this win streak.
I'm going to see how far she runs.
Yeah, yeah. I think end this win streak. I'm going to see how far she runs. Yeah, yeah.
I think my best win streak is 15.
It's hard to go too far.
My previous best was six.
My survival rate is like 47%.
So getting nine heads in a row is unusual.
Yeah, it's a great game.
They supported a ton.
They're always altering it and changing it.
It's very different than it was when I started playing just three months ago. I recommend it to everybody I know.
I don't know very many people who have started off with that $45
alpha version and not been like, you know what? I'll give them 90 more bucks. This is worth it.
This is a good game. All right, let's go go it's funny how game prices have changed it used to be 60 is what a game cost period every game was 60 it might have
been a microsoft mandate like back in the console world and uh they're like there are very few games
that were less at least new ones and no games that were more and then they found a way to make it
more with dlc you know it's like they sold you half a game and then you unlock the other half and now
games are 140 sometimes and people who buy dlc will spend a nearly unlimited amount like the
counter-strike boys with the red knives and stuff like yeah when when they when they involve
microtransactions it can really get out of hand um and that have lots of expansions.
I don't know how much money
I've got in Total War Warhammer 2.
I would guess
$250, but
it might be closer to $350
at this point.
Because
you have to buy
two games for one thing.
You have to buy Total Warhammer 2. And they're like, oh, you wanted to play with the dwar for one thing, you have to buy Total Warhammer 2
and then like, oh, you wanted to play with the dwarves?
Well, you'll need Total Warhammer 1.
You didn't already have that?
You're new to this?
Tough.
I was like, all right, well, I'll go buy Total Warhammer 1,
a game I'm literally never going to play.
It's reduced in price because it's Steam.
But then after that, it's like every two and a half,
three and a half months
they're like the the vampire pirates that's our new faction and they're coming out next week
10 to 15 dollars and it's like shit i want to play as vampire pirates that sounds incredible
i have i don't know i maybe have $150 into Mortal Kombat
for Colin
neither of us play it
he just loves the fatalities
that sick bastard
who goes in and practices all the different fatalities
he's not playing online
he sometimes plays against one of his friends
but mostly
he just goes to fatality practice
and executes them again and again.
It's hard to play those dudes online.
They're so good.
I imagine.
I tried to play Mortal Kombat 10 online.
I think it was 10.
It may have been one of the newer ones.
It was a few years ago.
Oh my God.
I've played through the whole story arc
on the harder difficulty
and it's like, all right, I i got the hang of this you go online
and those guys are incredible i i would imagine it's the same with the ufc game the ufc game's
very complex uh with some of the mechanics that they've got it's i don't know if you ever watched
the videos of people doing like really lopsided matchups i think maybe you can do women against men really like you can I think I
want to say I've seen someone fight like
Valentina Shevchenko against John Jones or something, but I like I good luck
I could be completely wrong about that
but I've definitely seen one of those crazy mismatches works like
And it went the distance. He's like come on judges
And She won.
Nice!
Did you see?
It's funny.
Did you want to talk about Joanna Juchacek?
I did not hear what he said about that, no.
He said she was a washed-up old fighter
who no one cares about ever since she got her face rearranged.
Yikes. Yeah. At least he didn't mention her fake tits. He did. That got her face rearranged. Yikes.
Yeah.
At least he didn't mention her fake tits.
He did.
That would have been classless.
He did.
Yeah, no, he said that she used to be the boogeyman
and now she's the boobie man.
Well, that's some mean shit.
He's awful.
On the flip side, I saw him be like,
so Tyron Woodley's opponent, Leon Edwards maybe?
Yes, dropped out.
If that name's in my head.
I think he's from the UK,
and it was going to be part of the London fight card,
and so he can't obviously come over.
Seems neither fighter can travel to each other.
But Colby's like, I'll fight.
I'm ready to go.
Let's just do this.
I'll beat the shit out of Tyron Woodley for a check.
Let's go.
Yeah, I'm ready. He's on. I like that about go. Let's just do this. I'll beat the shit out of Tyron Woodley for a check. Let's go. Yeah, I'm ready.
He's on.
I like that about him.
He's just a troll.
You got to take him as a troll.
I don't know if it's true.
I hope it is.
I hope that he really does fight him.
I'd like to see that.
So Colby Covington has a reputation.
Some fighters are always in shape, right?
Like Uriah Faber's that way.
Chad Mendes used to be that way.
The Diaz brothers.
In between fights, they still have ripped abs.
They still are you know
the perfect version of them uh other fighters Daniel Cormier, John Jones, Chris Weidman are
almost known for getting out of shape you know you see John Jones uh he is he is like dad bod
uh they have off seasons for sure yeah like all right I'm not gonna fight for eight months
no I'm not saying they're wrong I mean I feel like most of the people i need that have off seasons are champions and the ones that
don't aren't but uh yeah i think those are the guys who like have both job security and they
don't need to be so hungry uh like i feel like if you're trying to like rise up in the world or
or if you're not making one and a half million dollars a fight if you're making a hundred
thousand a fight and you you'd love to fight three a half million dollars a fight, if you're making 100,000
a fight and you'd love to fight three times this year, you just love it.
If they could just get you in the ring three times, then yeah, you better be staying in
shape dude.
Like if you're going to keep that entourage all paid and that nutritionist on board, like
you better be in shape.
You better be Tony Ferguson.
That's a guy I bet right now if they were like, Tony, can do the khabib fight can you make weight right now he's like plastic suit on sitting there
squeezing his head is it a grit ball like yeah of course i do that movie transition where like
but it's it's framed like behind him and he's silhouetted in darkness and he's just holding
the phone he's like way ahead of you and he like zoom out he's already wearing the plastic suit like doing a rowing
machine or something awful like he's he's a monster i they're gonna do that fight no matter
what it seems so i saw chael son and talk about this and he says this fight needs to happen this
fight needs to happen the fans want it to happen this is the fifth time they scheduled it for
people that aren't mma fans the four previous times twice khabib wasn't able to do it twice
tony ferguson wasn't able to do it this is the fifth time they've tried to make it happen
everybody wants it so bad even the fighters they don't like each other but they respect each other
khabib in his russian accent you know yes i uh he's uh he's a fighter big challenge this person he's
crazy i don't know why he is what he is stupid yeah but uh the fight needs to needs to happen
also they're kind of tying up the whole division you know there's like these two champs and
there's a lot of other fighters you know h.e uh uh porie and more i'm i'm drawing a blank Gaethje, Poirier,
and more.
I'm drawing a blank.
But I feel like there's five guys who deserve title shots.
Well, not Poirier.
Well, unless Ferguson wins,
then I want to see again.
But anyway.
Khabib just whipped his ass.
He did.
Yeah, that's true.
But there are five guys
who I think are kind of elite
who would be in this conversation.
If Poirier were to just fight Gaethje,
then all of a sudden he'd be the guy again.
Yeah, if he beat Gaethje maybe.
Conor's next in line though, no matter what.
Conor put up the best fight against Khabib
that really anybody's done. He won a round.
Nobody else can say that.
Conor got his ass kicked.
Conor won a round. Nobody else has ever
done that. Yeah, he won the second.
Did Poirier go five rounds, though?
He got submitted.
I thought it was three.
Maybe I'm wrong then.
Okay, I'm not very sure.
But no, I would argue that a guy like Al Iaquinta,
who didn't have to tap out,
did better than Conor McGregor, who got finished.
He beat the shit out of Al forever.
And Al's got that great wrestling.
Like, Khabib just couldn't really get him down and finish him.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Anyway, Conor, well, maybe.
He's one of those guys.
You know, there's, like I said, there's five guys.
I can't name them all.
Conor's one of them for sure, who belongs in this title conversation.
And another reason the fight needs to happen.
JL Sonnen says, what happened?
If there's just one fight on the card,
if they do a pay-per-view for 60 bucks,
there's no crowd, there's no nothing,
just these two guys in,
there's a name for the UFC fighting center,
but it doesn't matter, in the arena.
And there's a pay-per-view event
with hardly any overhead where two guys fight
and settle this.
I'd buy it.
I like five fights.
Normally, if people don't know, UFC usually
does like 11 fights in a night.
And the main card... 14 on this last card.
Okay. I like the night
of fights. I do too.
And I certainly like the last five you know almost
every card the last five are interesting usually the last six you know like the one that's like fox
or something that right before the event i like them big too i i like that like from the beginning
of the night like like this prelim fighters they're so hungry and so tenacious i like it yeah
i like watching the guys who aren't super fit every once in a while you know some guy in the
prelims has a body i can identify with yeah it's like you know you could you should be a light
heavyweight what are you doing fighting that gargantuan yeah like you just like popeyes you
get out of there right but sometimes they win you know like sometimes they win because they're just
throwing haymakers and their fists are the size of my fucking head. Daniel Cormier was fat at 205, right?
Yeah.
He should be the greatest 170 pounder of all time.
Maybe.
Instead, he's the second greatest 205 or of all time.
And I don't know my boxing that well, but who's the guy that just won a big fight?
Luis something Mexican dude fat fat.
Oh, yeah.
He won like six months ago.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Maybe a little more.
So the prelim fights are interesting that way,
because every so often you see a guy
who just like tough as nails, he's obviously trained,
but he doesn't look like a professional athlete.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
And it's even more showing, I think, with the women,
because you're so used to seeing like,
the top level women look like
superheroes yes like that is that's as good as a woman gets like like it's just about impossible
to pack any more muscle on a female frame without steroids looking at you cy Cyborg. But then you see the girls who are like
struggling to make 135
and it's like, whoa, honey,
why are you wearing a shirt?
That's four ounces, right?
Let me help you.
Maybe professional athletes
shouldn't be on your business card. Like, I don't think this is good. Oh, no, it shouldn't be on your business card.
Like, I don't think this is going to...
Oh, oh, oh.
No, it shouldn't be.
Oh, God.
They'll usually get the shit beat out of it.
I see that a lot where one girl looks like she should be fighting 10 or 15 pounds lighter
than the other girl is over there.
I misunderstood your point originally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It'll oftentimes be like a
girl with a pretty face with like a i don't know like an eight and four record or something like
that and it's like who are those eight people who are those eight people she beat up i don't know
any of them some of the women in particular yeah they can look not athletic you know yeah and slow
like if you're used to watching chef chinko and nunez and and
rose and and all those like top level girls and you see like a middling barely scraping by kind
of girl it's like that ain't gonna cut it like like you can see that ceiling that's above them
that they're never gonna cross with the men sometimes it's deceptive. Now, sometimes you see it.
Sometimes you're just like, oh, you're lucky you're not fighting one of those top five guys at 155
like we were just talking about.
You do not belong up there.
They will destroy you.
But oftentimes they're still kind of quick, and they can look amazing, the men men and still be terrible if i was a guy who was like better than 98 of the
other mma fighters fighting in like the kentucky fighting championships or something because i'd be
so jealous of those fat chicks it's like you only need to be in the top 25 to make the ufc as a
female fighter there it's not that big a crowd to make the UFC in.
But amongst the guys, you have to be a real elite
athlete. Yeah, it seems
that way. I watched the Bare Knuckle Championship
fight the other night with
Bigfoot Silva. How was it?
He got knocked
the fuck out. It wasn't one of those gross
bloody ones either.
I can't recall who he's fighting, but he's enormous.
He's like 6'7",
or something like that. You know what he has, that disease? Pituitary gland thing, I think.
Yeah. Gigantism. Essentially, I was going to say naturally occurring steroids, but both,
actually. Growth hormone. Okay. I think he's also been busted for steroids at least once.
He doesn't need it. Or maybe he does just to just i don't know he looks
slow and his opponent was also 42 i believe they're both 42 something like that maybe maybe
even a little older they were the same age the opponent was much shorter i knew the opponent's
name too but he he took a bad ko he just got the other guy was so much faster and was just working an incredibly accurate
long, uh, punishing jab and bare knuckle. That jab is so nasty. It fucking thumps them.
Jill Sonnen did a thing about fighting over 40 and, uh, he was just talking about the respect
he gives to people that have a long career. And I think he had a good point. You know, like
he talked to another guy, this guy was elite. This guy had won national championships,
maybe some Olympic medals.
He would be like, I don't care about your age.
I just want to know where you rank.
What'd you get?
How'd you do?
He's like, but later in my career,
and he was retired at the time,
I came to respect people who lasted 20 years in a sport.
If you're fighting over 40, that's impressive.
Uriah Faber looks amazing he looks amazing I
don't know if he's as good as he's ever been but he's good and he looks as good
as he's ever looked like it's just the guy fought at 133 like 15 years ago and
now he fights at 135 like yeah you know I don't know about you Kyle but I don't
weigh the same I did at 19. No. He's very impressive.
They call him the California kid.
He is, yeah.
Not anymore.
The kid thing's done.
Yeah, let me drop that.
So I'm really impressed by people who've just maintained decades of discipline and enthusiasm, and that's cool.
But Bigfoot Silva, it kind of seems like he's just out there competing even though he hasn't done that.
Well, he's certainly out there competing even though he hasn't done that. Well, he's
certainly not in the UFC. He's in the
bare-knuckle boxing championship
thing. Yeah, stop getting hurt, bro.
He got hurt.
He took some punishment.
That guy
rattled him, knocked him down, and they
do a standing 10 count in that.
So, it should
have been over right then.
The other guy should have been on top with a few hammer fists,
a flurry of them, and, oh, you get off him.
But instead they stand the fuck back up.
And then he just eats a, I don't know, six-punch combination,
three of which were bad.
And the other three all landed, but they were just like,
I mean, they were all bad.
I wouldn't want any of what they were dishing out.
The other night
I had a nightmare. We talked about these nightmares. We have for you like unprepared. That's a common one. Yeah. Oh, I
Haven't attended this class all year. Oh the finale the finals tomorrow
I have any I didn't even know I had I was taking this class that sort of thing. I
Dreamed that I had agreed to a boxing match
And you had set it up. And you were like, and my phone was good.
It was like, Alright, Kyle, I got it all set up for you're gonna be fighting it was like,
30 days. You'll be fighting 30 days, they want some promotional pictures. And then we're gonna
we're gonna be doing it at this venue. And this is going to be your opponent and and i'm just like what have i done
what have i done like staring trying to figure out what to write back to you and i'm thinking like
all right well i should probably take a boxing class start there
mine are in storage cup no no i don't own a cup you'll want one i don't know where my mouthpiece
is i haven't seen that thing in like three years it's i woke up and i was honestly shaken like like
i don't know it was like it was the same sort of feeling you get when you have like a near-death
experience and you're kind of shaken off that like you just went to the edge and, and, and backed off,
you know, like, like, like that parachute thing you had, I'm sure, or something like that.
Like it ruined like two or three hours of my evening. Like, like whenever I woke up,
I was just like, fuck, fuck. First of all, hilarious that you woke up
and it ruined your evening.
I'm glad you caught that.
Second, do you ever have an infidelity nightmare like that
or that doesn't hit you?
Nah.
That's one I get.
I'll wake up and hopefully it's morning.
Sometimes it's not.
And it's like, Jackie,
I don't have any time for your shit
i know i know it was just a dream but i'm still mad and that'll be you were bad in the fantasy
land my brain created last night yes and uh like i have to like come to terms with the fact that
all these emotions i'm having have no basis in our reality. But they're real emotions. They are. And the chemicals that correspond to them
are real chemicals.
And so you get that, those feelings.
It's, dreams are bizarre.
Dreams are such an odd part of existence.
Yeah, your brain makes it real.
It's like the matrix to some extent,
where it's like the idea of your brain
making physical damage real is kind of ridiculous, but it definitely makes emotional damage real.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, bad nightmare.
And bad nightmares can really...
I have a lot of nightmares.
And like I told you the other night,
I was dreaming that the cannibal Indians were after me.
I woke up so afraid.
The fact that you remember so many of your dreams
implies to me, noted virologist and dreamologist,
that you're waking up not on schedule,
that something's waking you up.
And I wonder if you're getting proper restful sleep.
I think I am because I've always been like that.
I've always remembered all of my dreams.
Maybe you're a light sleeper. You know, and you just wake up a little.
You can sneak right now. I'd like to say that like, oh, yeah, you could sneak up on me.
I'm always at the ready, even during nighttime sleep.
Not the case. That's a quality I wish I had. But but it's like, no, not that either. But yeah, I remembered like that that dream in particular
I
started out like camping with like a big group of people and then they're the
Savage Americans were on horseback and they were cannibals kind of like bone tomahawk and
they sent over a little white girl who was like their emissary because she can speak English and their language and she's basically saying
you know throw down your weapons and surrender and they'll go easy on you
but they've eaten her lips and ears already and I'm like
did they go easy on you? She's like oh yeah it wasn't
so bad. Yeah not so bad at all. And I'm just
like nah I don't think so.
And I look and all my buddies are just coming out of the woods.
They're new to this situation.
I just go, run!
All I have is a revolver, like an old Wild West revolver.
And there's two bullets left in this motherfucker for some reason.
That's a reoccurring thing.
And they shoot me in the ribs with a goddamned arrow.
And I get far enough away that I can tend to this wound and I start trying to
extract the arrow. The shaft pulls free from the broadhead
and it's just now it's just in me and I'm just like, Well, that
ain't good. That ain't good. I try to hide in the water. I get
in the water against a muddy bank. And I have like, like a
like, it's like like it was camouflage like
Tarps I put that over me and I go down low
So there's so I can really see is there's a little bit of camouflage tarp there and I'm in the air bubble
Then one of my friends decides that that's a great hiding spot. He just splish-splashes, right?
I'm like, all right
well
you take it then and I run away and I find a settlement of people like a mile or two away and i'm trying to tell trying to rally the troops hey savage americans
right down the path killing my friends they shot me and they're like ah well let's finish up dinner
and we'll we'll help you and i'm like well what do you what are you having all right we sit down and
eat dinner and the whole time i'm like they might be with the Savage Americans. So I'm holding on to the revolver and I'm looking at them.
It goes on forever.
That turns into them having a paintball course at their house.
I take a shower at one point with the pistol because I'm still a little worried that they're with the Savage Americans somehow.
I go to where they chronograph the guns.
It's all indoors paintball.
And then I look over and I'm expecting them to have their weaponry ready
because I've been telling them, you know, get your guns.
Let's go back.
We've got to save my friends.
They've got paintball guns now,
and they're going to play a couple rounds before they go back.
It'll be good practice for fighting the Savage Americans.
I'm like, they're probably not.
They're probably gone now, guys.
I mean, they've eaten my friends by this point.
It went on forever.
Ever have the thing where you need to wake up at a
certain time and you do reliably like you have an internal alarm clock okay take that park it
in escape from tarkov there's a mechanic where you earn this uh dav case and basically you send
out these imaginary ai you pay them six grand in rubles and they come back and they bring you stuff.
Typically it's worth more than six grand.
So it's a good mechanic.
I was waking up like every two hours
and 20 minutes all night thinking,
I got to send the scavs out.
I got to send the scavs out
because that's how long it takes for them to return.
And I just had a terrible night's sleep.
What a profitable night in Escape Room.
I have, yeah, my internal alarm clock is amazing.
Like when I need to be up, like for court, it was always like, it was like I was, the
whole night I was thinking like, all right, you gotta be up at 6am, gotta be up at 6am,
gotta be up at 6am.
Wish I could fall asleep, wish I could fall asleep, 6am, 6am, 6am.
And like 5.58 rolls around, and I wake up.
And I'm just like, look at my phone, two minutes.
And I'm like, oh.
Oh, I could have used those two minutes.
Like to turn the alarm off.
That's happened a ton.
Like just two, three minutes before when I'm supposed to wake up.
Usually it's good.
That night I wished i could
have turned it off you know yeah as well i guess alarm clocks suck like waking up when you want to
do a thing is great it's like time to do the thing but but i have so many more memories of waking up
to do something i didn't want to do like all right time to go to
prison I I woke up to an alarm clock for ages decades and it's waking up to the thing you don't
want to wake up to it's like like it jolts you awake and now you have a half to do and it's what
did you what was your your alarm sound when you went for work. And and say,
yeah, the worst, the worst.
It'll poison a song.
Yes, because like I have, um, I get anxiety. I used to get texts,
right? And I changed it to something nice. I don't know a
little guitar thing. This is a beeper, old school, like drug
dealers had. And just the sound of it going off would like send my blood
pressure and anxiety like to rock it up because this is a problem i don't know what the problem
is but i do know i'm responsible for solving it i hope i can i had the exact same thing i remember
in in high school um i was seeing this young lady and her ex-boyfriend didn't care for that.
Wasn't going well.
Lots of threats.
He was a man at 18, all right?
I was two years younger and a boy, all right?
I wasn't like, he was the tailor of high school. This man had much more facial hair than i'll ever have at 18.
this was a man and he wanted to kill me and he made it very clear and and somehow he'd get a
hold of my phone number he'd send these crazy threatening text messages and it so that so i
i would see and so the text message noise became terror. Oh no.
Let's see what today's threats are.
Let's see if he's after me again.
It would just I had that's why like, even to this day, my phone is on silent all the
time, like not even vibrate because I get stressed out when I get a text message because
my mind always goes to a scary place.
It's like, oh, somebody's hurt.
Yeah, I also kind of feel that way about my text message sound, a scary place. It's like, oh, somebody's hurt. Yeah.
I also kind of feel that way about my text message sound,
even though I think it's the Mario mushroom sound.
Whoop, whoop, whoop.
Yeah, something like that.
But the phone call one has changed from an anxiety,
oh my God, what do I have to deal with,
to it's probably a telemarketer.
That's the most likely case who the has
the bulk yep all right all right vinyl signing what do they call you about telemarketers um
so i have the calls that i get so one of them the most common one there's this guy that has
some sort of serious legal issues who's named thomas who used to have my number and they sent
me a warning yesterday they're like look we're moving forward with the proceedings you have
failed to respond on numerous occasions and i'm just like press one if you would like to rectify
this and i'm like you know i don't know you thomas but i'm gonna try i pressed one and it goes
call ended i'm like well i did i did my best I did my best for you, Tom. That's all I got.
Carnival Cruise, of course.
Not me.
Bullshit.
Yeah.
Student loan consolidation.
That sort of nonsense, of course.
I told you.
Oh, I haven't said it on the show.
I was just telling you in the call the other night.
My dad got a call from one of those scam programs.
He was taking a nap.
It was like in the early afternoon or something like that.
His phone rings. I think it went down like this. They were like,
we just want to confirm who we have here. He's like, what he should have
said was, who the fuck are you looking for? Instead, he's like, yeah.
Gives him his name. Could we confirm the last four of your social?
What's this about? Well, I'm calling from the FBI field office in El Paso, Texas.
We have multiple accounts taken out in your name, a car rented in your name.
It has 10 pounds of cocaine in it. We have multiple warrants out for your arrest.
We need to confirm this is you. And he gives him the last four of his social.
And I'm sure what was coming next. And he's like, I want to talk this is you. And he gives him the last four of his social. And I'm sure what was coming next.
And he's like, I want to talk to your supervisor.
They put another guy on the phone.
Very convincing.
There's two people there in the room to do this thing.
And he gives a badge number.
And it's very convincing.
And, of course, like, if I didn't have my whole past with like federal agencies I'm sure it would
have been quite as effective on him right he'd have been like if yeah okay
agent Mulder there let me talk to her she's she's always she's always the
voice of reason but instead it was like mmm so he calls me he's like they call
you does the FBI just call you like that i'm like no they they're more of a
pop-in kind of agency they just show up one day and uh and let you know about those warrants and
then they take you away and uh and so yeah he didn't give them any relevant information just
the last four of his social in his name which that might be enough yeah they don't know where
he's banks at they don't know where he banks at and they don't know uh you know they that won't
be enough to do anything to him because his credit's all locked down uh and and the bank
that we use is like a very small private bank and though i they're really good about they know us
personally but like i know them i know them by name and they know us personally. Like I know them, I know them by name
and they know me by name and same thing with my dad.
So like, if they've called me plenty of times,
I'll be like, Kyle, did you just buy $800 worth of shoes
in New York?
And I'm like, no, no, I didn't.
I didn't think so, but you know, sometimes you,
yeah, yeah, I don't blame you, but I'm glad you stopped it.
She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll, I'll, fraud, you know, I'll Yeah, yeah, I don't blame you. But I'm glad you stopped it. She's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll fraud,
you know, I'll take care of this. So they're really good
about that. So I don't think he has anything to worry about. But
yeah, he was super stressed out. He even called the Sheriff's
Department and, and like confirmed that he didn't have
any warrants for this nonsense that that agent, whoever the
fuck had called him about.
That sucks.
Scammers are a pain in the ass.
Yeah, yeah.
And I bet there's going to be a lot of scammers
working this new Corona thing, the stimulus.
Oh, yeah.
They're going to call and say,
hey, I don't know if you've heard,
but President Trump has released $750 million
to be diverted to the US public.
Have you been affected by the viral crisis?
Well, yes, I have.
Well, you may be eligible to receive
up to $3,000 cash right away.
We just need a small processing fee from you
and we'll be able to overnight it to you.
Well, let me just confirm your name and social security.
Yep, yep, yep.
All right.
What's your mom's maiden name?
Just making sure it's you.
And if they believe who they're talking about.
Tell me more about your first pet's name and your first car.
What city were you born in again?
For the student loan ones that I get all the time,
they do tie into current events a lot.
When the tax cut, when Trump first took office, office he cut some taxes they were saying that was tied
into a student loan thing and there was another piece of news but it's like act
now this thing is happening well I didn't have any student loans you know I
was not yeah I worked all day my employees usually had some sort of
tuition help you know we certainly don't have many more even if you did yeah yeah
yeah so but that
that's how i was able to pay off my uh tuition as it came in and uh yeah it's also a few courses
yeah yeah yeah scammers suck they need to do something about that that should like they're
a task force to be hunting those people down it shouldn't just be that uh that kit boga guy or
whatever his name is that we had on the show that time yeah yeah i still catch his videos every now
and then yeah me too he seems to be still at it he'll catch some indian scammer and lock their
fucking pc down and ransom it back to them it's it's hilarious there was a different guy who
managed to get closed caption footage of their offices and he just he laid out the whole office structure and
i guess most of it was legitimate business but like up top in some back room where the where
the scammers were and he was able to like get video of them scamming him i don't know how he
cracked into their offices but he got the i guess he's got their ip and like there's like that ip
camera thing that you could i don't know i don ip and like there's like that ip camera thing that you could
i don't know i don't know that's crazy like that yeah and he figured out the layout of the office
and he had someone in the area fly a drone so they had like aerial shots of the building and the
people and there used to be this thing where you could like guess uh an ip address and punch it in
and if there was a camera that was like running through that ip
that you guessed it would show you the live feed of it i remember that vividly i don't remember
exactly how it was either a website that would do it for you or something and like people had lists
of like the ones that you it's like hey you want to see the traffic cam on i-30 32 here you go and
you just like click it in you're just like well this is incredibly boring
but also fascinating at the same time this car is going by one of the first like live cams on
the internet uh it was pointed to a coffee pot in like i don't know mit or something and you could
just go and pull up that web page and see the status of the coffee pot at any given time you
know just do you need more Joe? Make some mo.
And yeah, that's it.
I loved the one like maybe 10 years ago.
And it was that fake baby giraffe thing.
It wasn't a baby, it was a miniature giraffe.
And I think it was part of like an Old Spice commercial
or something like that.
I don't remember exactly, but.
TGI was pretty good.
It was excellent but but they did
like this bit where like it was like somebody had saved so much money on their turbo tax that they
could afford a mini giraffe or something like that and that was sort of the ad campaign and and he
holds up this little giraffe in the commercial you're like holy shit and they're like hey
if by the way we've got a live cam you can you can go straight to the miniature giraffe farm
and so everybody's going to this miniature giraffe farm and haha that's so cool they look real don't
they and wings is like oh that is cool how do they make them so tiny he thought they were real
it would be cool thing like yeah pocket giraffe yeah that'd be cool i don't know i'm about to
expose how dumb I am,
but how hard would it be to breed down to a miniature giraffe?
How many generations would it take to get a giraffe
that was even like pony size?
Yeah.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know either.
I would worry about its little neck.
Something you could do with CRISPR, you know,
I don't know.
Oh yeah, I bet with something like,
I bet if you alter its genetic code, you probably could. Cause like, if you think about dachshundsper you know that i don't know oh yeah i bet with something like i bet if you alter its
genetic code you probably could because like if you think about dachshunds you know those little
weenie dogs they used to be wolves and that took us tens of thousands of years of i was thinking
a great day and same thing they're they're not at all what they started as yeah chihuahua any of
those any of those breeds oh the poor pugs
those things seem to stop making new pugs let them let them let them go out let them die yeah
they're just like my life is pain they have awake sleep apnea or something they can't breathe they
can barely walk and you know every so often some twitch streamer will abuse an animal right? Oh, yeah, I see him throw a cat and
Maybe I'm an asshole, but I'm like, you know
That's her kind of throwable aren't they like yeah, you throw a cat over the back of the couch or something
He lands and walks away
I think that's the same girl who recently got bitten by her cat and there's that really funny freeze frame of it's like it's like stretching the skin
Like like way out and and she's going
And it's just that frozen. I saw a pretty popular female streamer get
Permabanned from twitch yesterday. They were having like a big twitch roundtable with I don't know
I don't watch enough twitch to give a fuck about who these people are, but like seven, eight people, you know, Twitch streamers.
And I don't, I didn't catch the beginning of the conversation.
I ate the clip picks up mid conversation, but the guy goes,
would you make out with, with a guy if he had a coronavirus?
He's like, absolutely.
And I would spread it far and wide.
I would, she's, she's like,
I just want all the old people to be dead
because we'd be better off without them
gone from the platform
really
it's the end of her
because that's the kind of nonsense we would say
every week
ah
ah
right
don't we say stuff that dumb
I don't know keep in mind you said Right? Don't we say stuff that dumb?
I don't know. She didn't seem like she was joking. Keep in mind you said savage American about 15 times to date.
Yeah, but they are.
They were cannibalistic tent dwellers.
They were savage Americans.
Look, it's difficult to invent the fence.
are savage americans all right look it's difficult to invent the fence i didn't say i wanted them to be exterminated uh i hear you i don't i you want to see the clip it's short sure sure i'm just
trying to think of dumb shit i've said on that let oh i remember one time maybe it was after a
tsunami or something i argued that the people from that country weren't really people.
Shit.
That's, you know, because they're, like, far away and distant
and don't feel like they would if they were here.
Fair enough.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I see that you linked it.
Let's see what this says.
Yeah, she's the one in the bottom right.
Hey, that's going to be loud.
16 seconds.
Hold on.
Yeah, it cuts right to the chase.
Her name is, her was Casey Tron.
All right.
Ready, set, play.
He had the coronavirus.
Would you kiss him?
Yes.
And we would leave quarantine and we would try to spread it as much as possible because the world would be a better place without old and poor people.
Oh, my God, Casey.
Without old and poor people. Oh my God, Casey. Without old and poor people.
I need to know her better.
Like if she had said that in the context of PKA,
I feel like we make that kind of jackassery every week.
If this is a sincere belief, then maybe not.
And what is this podcast?
The Twitch Thought Podcast?
Right.
Yeah, I don't think it...
Are you allowed to show up on this without cleavage?
I guess the one girl doesn't.
Yeah, it doesn't seem like it.
I mean, there's one man there.
I don't know how he got this gig.
That seems like he's got a pretty good job.
Man, he's like that guy in the YOLolo Boys. Look at him. The last frame.
The man lit. The man lit. But no, I don't think I wouldn't say that. The thing about this
is this is happening right now. And people are dying. Like, you know, in our country and around
the world and a lot of people are afraid and I don't think it's funny i noticed that i'm
going to hell for this private the subreddit really they just turned it off they also turned
it off can't remember what the last thing that happened that was a big deal is it i'm going to
hell that did it or read it they did it to themselves no really they said it no yeah the
admins over there no
no what no they'll get themselves banned they're not careful when it something sensitive happened
several months back and they did a mass shooting or something i don't remember i don't remember
what it was but but it was like oh look they know they know they shouldn't make fun of this. Maybe it was Kobe even.
Although no, no, they made a lot of funny jokes about Kobe.
See, I think it's fine to make fun of Kobe dying.
Like, like, like, like, because, you know, rapist and
guy who bounced a ball.
Well, like, OK, all right.
I mourn the the others.
I know I don't.
I feel bad about the others. I you know, but
everybody always just Oh, it's it's Kobe this Kobe. I don't care. I don't care about Kobe. But
this is like killing random people. I'm afraid for you know, my older family members and I'm
concerned that if I got it, maybe they what I read was it if you if you get permanent lung damage,
which this does, they made it sound like a lot, like 30% lung damage,
like to the point where you'd be winded from a brisk walk.
Yeah, going up the stairs.
Imagine if you're a professional athlete.
Idris Elba has it.
Who's that?
He's that black actor who they were thinking about making James Bond.
Very handsome gentleman.
I know him now.
I remember him. Yeah, he has, of course. I know him now. I remember.
Yeah, he has, of course.
I think Tom Hanks and his wife are out of quarantine.
Does that sound right?
Out of a hospital.
Still quarantined.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, a lot of celebrities have it.
A lot of basketball players have it. That would be super scary if your job is cardio
and you get something that sometimes causes extreme lung damage.
That would suck.
That would suck for anybody.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Well, hopefully, not a big deal.
Yeah.
Maybe it's too late.
Yeah, I hope this thing burns up with the summer months.
I hope that Trump literally makes us proud.
I hope he does a good job with this thing.
I hope he Trump literally makes us proud. I hope he does a good job with this thing. I hope he fixes the economy.
I hope that they never stop calling it a Chinese virus
though, because they created this thing.
I was looking to see what the market did today.
It's March 18th.
It was looking bad.
I knew that it was bad, but checking in on it,
one, down another 6%.
That's a lot.
It's moved so much lately.
New York Stock Exchange, to temporarily close floor,
moved to electronic trading after positive coronavirus tests.
So they're shutting down the stock market floor.
I don't even know how significant that is now.
Everyone trades electronically.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's sort of more of a moral blow than anything.
It's not like they need that guy over there fucking,
everybody's waving fucking pieces of paper anymore
for anything that matters.
But it'll hit them psychologically, right,
when the floor shuts down.
Yeah.
Well, we'll have Taylor taylor with us tomorrow hopefully um
uh hope so too yeah hope uh he and his get through this fine yeah uh pkn 291