Painkiller Already - PKN #300
Episode Date: May 22, 2020Support the show & watch the PKN video by becoming a $10 Patron today https://www.Patreon.com/PKA Merch: http://PainkillerAlready.net PKA on iTunes: http://bit.ly/PKAOniTunes PKA on Podbean: http://pa...inkilleralready.podbean.com
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pkn episode 300 and of course for episode 300 i was blinded today for the memes for the memes
so what happened kyle it was not worth it i got a little eye surgery today i had i had this little
mole on my eyelid but it was like right on the edge of the eyelid like like part like it's almost
gonna touch my eyeball and i didn't like the way it looked is it it was like hanging down on the underside i picture it where the eyelash grows
from does that sound right eyelashes were going through it yeah okay okay gross yeah exactly you
said it was a mole yeah and i've been there like maybe a year like it's a very new mole
that's when you want to get it taken care of you don't want to let those fuckers you know malinger and i did not like it was very ugly um and my dad had even like last time i hugged
me he was like ah really what is that you're a father you know i never saw it on camera you know
i love you but that's pretty fucking gross i know you can't see it on i watch you five hours a week
at least yeah well good I've never noticed either.
Yeah, I've never seen a thing.
Your dad was like,
what is that?
You're a good looking boy.
You need to get that fixed.
Fuck.
Is that what inspired you
to get something taken care of?
No, I've been wanting to get it taken care of
because when he said that,
that was months ago.
But the other day I went to the doctor
and I got that other mole I showed you removed.
That one didn't hurt a bit.
And while I was there, I was like, hey, I'd like to get this taken care of too.
And he's like, puts the big magnifying glass on it from the movies.
And he's like, you need a plastic surgeon and an optometrist.
You need an optoma plastic surgeon.
And I was like, do those exist?
He's like, yes, i know the best one in the
state and i was like all right well send me to him man he sounds sinister talking about it
oh he's just got emphysema he's a nice guy though and uh here's his car and he put the oxygen back
on so he could breathe i'll give you a good price he's opening up his coat to show you
more smoke we're smoking in the doctor's office.
Unusual kind of practice.
Wait, that's pretty cool.
Is that part of the story real?
Absolutely not.
Okay.
And so today we went, or I went,
I had already gone to a pre-op thing
and a bunch of other stuff.
We looked at it and he was like,
oh yeah, this is not cancer
because there's eyelashes growing through it.
I'm like, oh, that's good. Nobody is not cancer because there's eyelashes growing through it i'm like oh that's good nobody wants eyeball cancer that's a criteria if hair grows through it it's
not cancer uh yeah that's according to him because it was like it was all right so don't think of it
as like a mole with hair in it then my whole body is safe oh god my asshole cancer free he says while swinging from tree to tree
armpits, asshole, face, eyebrows
it's solid
they're studying me
well I'm glad it was benign right
or they don't know yet
well they're gonna test it
but because the eyelashes were going through it
I think it was fine.
So I went in this morning and I was super late to the thing.
I forgot what time it was.
I couldn't remember when the surgery was.
And my sleep schedule is a little messed up right now because I'm watching the wire.
You forgot what time the surgery was?
Yeah.
It's not a thing you're supposed to get wrong.
I'm a responsible adult.
And so I was up until about 4.30 a.m.
watching The Wire because
I've only seen it eight times. I'm watching The Wire
now too. Ah, cool.
I'm halfway through season one or so.
And
so I was like, ah,
I want to see what McNulty does in the next
episode. Let's just go and stay up.
What's the worst that could happen?
The surgery's probably at noon. I could sleep till 1.30 sleep till right because that's when surgeries are getting your surgery i was
guesstimating my surgery yes those guys don't start at six i'm not the one who needs this
steady hands tomorrow he is now if he's up all night watching the wire having a few then we've
got problems you don't want to be the guy he operates on six hours into his day.
No.
What?
I want him to be second in line.
That's a good place.
I like that.
I want him to work out any kind of kinks on the early morning guy,
and then he's feeling fresh.
The coffee's hit him.
He works on me.
That's after me is when he starts to get confused.
It's funny you mention that.
I kind of did a thing on the way out.
Anyway, so on the way in, I call at 8 a.m.
And I'm like, hey, I have surgery today.
What time is that again?
She's like, now.
I'm like, fuck.
Well, I'll be right there.
And so I just jump out of bed and use mouthwash, brush my hair a little,
throw on a shirt, and just go.
How far away is the surgery center? close like like like like 10 minutes away like so you're doing that like i'm pulling in
like she's like she's like how she's like are you on the way and i went yes like clearly lying
yeah uh so uh so so i get there and everything and i was only like six minutes late or something like that
and uh and they're like
what uh you know they're they're like prepping me for the thing me and this nurse
and uh she's like here's your volume and i'm and i'm like, oh my God, I can't believe they're going to operate on my eye.
And my anesthesia is a fucking Valium.
Valium is like benzodiazepine.
It's like a mood stabilizer.
It's a relaxing kind of drug.
It'll chill you out.
It's a little similar to the feeling that weed could give you, but I'd much rather have it.
It's not very strong on the list of benzos.
Like Klonopin is more powerful than that.
Right. Like, like Valium is kind of low.
I've had Klonopin and I'll say this, the Klonopin that I've taken before were teeny tiny, like literally.
Yeah, I guess it's all a dosage thing.
Yeah. They were literally like the, if you broke off your pencil lead, they were that big, like little pellets almost.
I'd be like, Ooh, I have two.
This was like a full size tablet that i took this morning of valium but again it's valuable this is doing nothing for
pain this is just relaxing me with the idea that they're about to carve my fucking eye up
so uh they hooked me up with the fucking monitors and everything like that and uh
wheel and she starts putting in numbing eye drops for my eyeball but again these are just my eyeball
this is doing nothing for where they're going to operate on right this is so uh finally i get
wheeled back into the operating room with like one of those goofy like head uh hairnets on and
everything and it was at that point when i realized just how serious this was because there were like
six people in the operating room and it was like an operating room from tv with the giant overhead light that comes down and you're
like i was asleep 11 minutes ago yeah yeah i haven't had coffee i haven't shit yet
yeah yeah i i so you haven't had a lot of surgeries in your life it seems
no i i've been very fortunate i've maybe, I did the thing with my nose.
I had a severely broken nose,
had that fixed.
And then I carved my head up
when I was like four
and I barely remember that.
Those were both general anesthesia
type situations. This is not.
Local anesthesia?
Like a little injection little my ass they've
leaned my fucking head back and the first thing he does is put a q-tip in my eyeball and roll
my eyelid backwards so it can get a good look at it oh no i don't like doing i don't like putting
if i get a hair in my eye i don't like the idea of using a q-tip to get that i usually just like
rinse it with a saline solution or something.
Yeah, I've got one of those big bottles of just tears.
There's eye drops all over my house.
You use a Q-tip to turn...
Like those weird kids in grade school who would flip their eyelids up like that.
And you use the Q-tip.
I feel like you get little bits of cotton in your fucking eye.
At this point, all you have is the volume at this point.
Yeah.
And the eye drops.
Yeah. Okay. So the eye drops. Yeah.
Okay.
So he's like, just look straight down.
So I'm looking straight down with this eye,
and this eye is just like fluttering, trying to stay closed.
And he rolls my eyelid back, and I'm just like,
ah, ah, ah.
I don't know if you've ever seen Fire in the Sky,
but it's that scene.
Okay.
And then he – Are you actually audibly making in the Sky, but it's that scene. And then he...
Are you actually audibly making noise?
No, I'm not a bitch.
Well, you know, I don't want anything in my eye.
I save my bitchness for my inner monologue.
Yeah, I save that for here.
And so he says...
Just land there.
Don't do it.
You want him to think you're cool?
I do want him to think I'm cool.
You don't want the nurse to be laughing at that bitch boy.
Well, the glasses look good.
You should have wore them.
Did you see how that guy didn't make any noise at all?
He's kind of cute.
The nurse was hitting on me the whole time.
She's like, did I see you yesterday at the haircut place?
I'm like, yes, you did.
You did a good job, huh?
Yeah, they did how long
did you have to wait we had a whole conversation she's got a four-year-old kid though she's rotten
so gross disgusting so he rolls my fucking eyelid back and i'm like
and he's like all right little pinch and i okay, good. This is the part that fixes everything.
Last time a doctor said little pinch, he was injecting me to take that other mole off my side.
And it was a little pinch.
I didn't react.
I was just like, huh, that is literally a little pinch.
And he gives me another little pinch that doesn't even hurt as much.
And I'm like, oh, didn't hurt at all.
pinch and he gives me another little pinch that doesn't even hurt as much and i'm like oh didn't hurt at all this guy sticks a goddamn needle in my eyelid in my fucking eyelid and
it feels like there's murder hornets attacking my eyelid and i'm i went oh that that really hurts
huh i said that out loud and my toes are curled up into fists and my hands, which were like crossed on my lap are doing this,
but I don't move.
Cause the man is sticking a needle into my eyelid and he's like,
how big does a needle look when it's coming this angle?
I'm looking straight down,
but think it's funny.
You mentioned that.
Cause I was afraid,
like in pre like one of the things I was nervous about was like,
are they going to do that thing?
They like opened your eye up so that your eye is just like looking around oh clockwork orange yeah yeah like clockwork orange and like and see the fucking needle
coming up maybe the needle's mounted to something like a bot and it's just like
whenever the doctor's oh we're gonna kick out here When the doctor says look down, I consider that instruction to be incredibly important,
but difficult to follow.
My fear is they're going to be like,
what are you looked up right while I was touching your eyeball with the scalpel?
This is really your fault.
Have you seen those surgeries where they use an Xbox controller?
I've thought about how funny it would be if as you're getting knocked out
and he's got the thing, you just hear him like,
always was a PlayStation guy.
Just out.
Well, I look down with the best of them
because I would only occasionally see a glimmer of light
despite the fact that there's a huge one shining on my head.
And the second shot I thought was going to hurt a lot less than the first one.
Wrong.
The second shot hurt just as fucking much.
And I'm pretty good with pain.
But this was awful.
And he was like, all right, there we go.
And I went, you know, that really hurt.
He's like, how much?
I was like, you know how people, they'll ask, like, how bad is your back? And they'll be like, 11 out of 10. He's like how much i would i was like you know how people they'll ask like how's your how bad
your back and they'd be like 11 out of 10 he's like yeah i was like that's nonsense
10 is when you're being skinned alive and boiling acid that was a six
he's like jesus i have enough for another couple of Valium Doc that's the game you gotta play
so he starts
he's like alright I'm gonna trim your eyelids now
or your eyelashes now
snip snip snip I hear the snippers going
but it doesn't hurt
the needles did a job
well these were eyelids
or eyelashes
I'm glad I asked I misunderstood
I don't have any feeling in those, unfortunately.
And so
snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip.
And then I hear
and I smell burning flesh.
Burning flesh. And I'm like,
he already cut it off.
And I couldn't even tell.
And sure enough, he had the whole thing cut off
and cauterized
and done. and less than
i don't know did you let you keep it fuck no they sent it off in a biohazard bag somewhere
i know dude the burning flesh is it so when we had hope uh yeah we had her hope was a breach birth
so she was all in the wrong direction she was gigantic nine pounds nine ounces
so we knew that she was she was a scheduled c-section there was no chance it was going to be
a does that mean feet first just breech can mean a lot of different things but it means not more
of a cannonball yeah in her case she was sideways hope was and which is like i guess the worst kind
of breech you know it is so it was regular vaginal birth was not on the radar.
So I'm like outside.
I'm sorry?
Lucky you.
Yeah, I'm told.
I don't know.
I've never had sex with someone who had a vaginal birth before.
But anyway, I'm outside and they're doing the thing.
And they're going to like bring me in for the delivery.
I walk in the or
this is my first kid holy fuck it is this serious situation there's like nine people involved
between all the nurses and the doctors and the anesthesiologists and shit like that it smells
big time of burning flesh and that was the part I was least prepared for. Like no one told me what a fucking circus this was going to be.
And,
uh,
um,
I stood up and watched the baby come out of her belly,
which is not where babies come from.
And,
uh,
that whole,
I was like,
I'm wondering what the other shit I'm looking at is like,
is that a kidney and intestine?
Like,
I don't really know,
but there's
a whole lot going on this was the time to ask even like five percent of you or like one percent of
you like this is kind of interesting no no I so a lot of at least on tv a lot of men pass out
when they see the baby board and I was worried that I was going to be one of those guys. I was like, breathe, Woody, keep it together.
Don't fall.
I was worried I was going to hit my head on the tile floor.
Like these were the thoughts that I had running through my head.
They gave Jackie this disgusting lizard that she just birthed.
And I thought like, yeah, dad's get this cool.
Cause they clean them up and give them to dad afterwards.
But mom gets the little lizard version of it.
Anyway. Yeah. And I've said this part before but i had a real concern that our baby would be switched at birth i thought that like i don't know for months leading up to it i
was like how would i even know right i'm a non-dad so i'm worried that like like what is the system
they use all babies look the same to me right i'm at an age and. So I'm worried that like, what is the system they use?
All babies look the same to me, right?
I'm at an age,
and probably Taylor is now too,
like a lot of people in his world
are having babies and stuff.
And every baby picture you see
is just the same as the one before it, right?
They all look like babies to me.
And I'm like, you could switch my baby
and I wouldn't know.
I would have no idea
because all babies look the same.
Hope is born. I swear to to god she looks like the heat miser from that from that christmas cartoon with this
like big spike thing i was like this is that's why so many hispanic parents pierce their newborns
ears for identification it's true is that true oh yeah so no it's not true all right i'll believe
anything but yeah i was so happy when she looked like the heat miser the day she was born.
Because later on, there's a – you've seen the – what do they call the place where they put all the newborn babies?
Like NICU or something?
Incubator.
Yeah.
Yeah, but okay.
NICU.
So there's a room filled with incubators, right?
That's the room I'm trying to refer to.
Hatchery.
Pediatrics.
Hatchery.
Hatchery. with incubators right that that's the room i'm trying to refer to pediatrics hatchery anyway her in this like sea of 16 babies and i'm like totally that one's mine like there's no way
you can switch them she's mine yeah that's that's good to hear because i've thought about that too
where what was it like like a flashback in a simpsons episode? He's like, Marge, she's so beautiful.
And it's like, that's not even her baby.
He's like, throw him down and go grab a different one.
Yeah, it's funny you mention that.
They came around with a Sharpie and marked the correct side of my head to operate on.
I was just like, how could you fuck it up?
No.
And it was a serious thing because the nurse did it.
And then the doctor came out and he's like, there was already this little dot the nurse made.
And he's like, let's make goddamn sure sure and made like a bigger squiggle above it yes to
be and i'm just like what would they have done if they got the wrong eye like well i don't see
anything i'm gonna cut anywhere when i'm johnny knoxville and this has changed the marker on
steve-o's side steve-o they removed your left kidney. Guys, that's a good joke, dude.
I'm going to throw up.
Every once in a blue moon, you hear about these surgery mistakes, right?
So when I got my ACL fixed, I wrote good knee and bad knee on my two thighs.
And then they came in and they had their own marking system, like the X and whatnot.
But I didn't want any mistakes.
And I talked to the doctor. was like is it insulting like if a patient comes in and says like you know
do not touch on their good knee and the doctors are like no no it doesn't bother us at all go
ahead mark yourself up uh yeah they find that just just one more confirmation they're getting it right yeah yeah that's a good idea yeah yeah operate on this nose
oh you're talking about how or i guess woody and i were saying we never noticed anything on your
eyelid at all not even the tiniest little bit right and it reminded me like with this upcoming
pka trip we're all going to take whenever that happens to be with this covid thing like we haven't seen
each other the three of us in person in so long it's going to be like hd porn where we're like oh
you know i thought i've been hanging out with way more attractive
this whole time good lord it's just a blemish factory around here
i sent you a list of moisturizers.
You just keep ignoring it.
I'm using Moderma.
I got some stretch marks under my arms
and here that I'm putting on.
You want the oil
with the stem cells in it.
Oh, I should try.
God damn it, I've got so much Moderma to get through.
Over the counter?
Is that a thing you can buy?
Yeah, it's good stuff. It smells good, too too you know how black people are always getting oiled up and they're
and they hand that sheen to them all day long that's like cocoa butter right no i use cocoa
butter on everything that's what i keep my hands so smooth with this is oil and it's
i'm gonna need to do more of it i'm going through it it's like biotin and stem cells and it's like
I'm going to do more of it.
I'm going through it.
It's like biotin and stem cells. And it's like, it smells nice.
It's got a nice manly scent.
Is it expensive as can be?
I don't remember.
You know, if I need my oil, I need my oil.
I'm not tickering over stem cell oil.
Just ground up foreskins.
I hope so.
God, I wouldn't like that.
I want to cut weight for our trip.
I don't know if I've gained any weight.
I hadn't gained weight
two weeks ago,
but last week
there was a little cheating involved,
a little snacking.
I'm 24 hours clean
on trail mix, boys.
I'm like an addict.
Get me a keychain.
I'm around six pounds down nice this month since the beginning of may i've been going very hard in the paint with it no
cheat days yet and if i like do like i and my girlfriend picked me up like a cheeseburger
like last weekend and i had to like squeeze that into my calorie limit and so it, oh, I can have a nice little cheat thing, but obviously no fries.
Instead of that, I'll have carrot sticks or something.
Today will be cheeseburger and a grape day.
Yeah, cheeseburger and a grape day, basically.
But yeah, the hardest part about it is, other than not eating it late at night, because that's when I want to do so much snacking, that's the most difficult self-control part is like getting all the protein in
because like my lifts,
like I'm pretty much,
I was thinking like,
like a retard.
I'm like,
Oh,
I can still like make my lifts go up when I'm only eating 800 calories a day
and lifting five,
five times.
Is that your real number?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've been like going real low at like 1800.
Okay.
Yeah.
And so like 1800,
1800. Yeah. Oh, you said 800 earlier oh i'm sorry 1800 no 800 i wouldn't i'd be asleep on this desk you've got the alchewitz diet i'm familiar
with it's easy to get well if you use that uh like isopure protein what is it's uh 25 grams
and 100 calories and you only need 200 grams.
Yeah, I... But like...
So there you go.
You get 200 calories of real food.
200 calories of real food and all the rest is that.
1,600 calories of protein powder.
That is sustainable, healthy dieting.
It's very healthy.
That's what all of the fitness people tell you to do.
They're like, when you cut,
get all of your protein from sources
like protein powders and bars.
I don't know real meat.
Yeah, they all do.
But like it is difficult to get it all in because like I drink one shake a day, 230 calories, 51 grams of protein.
And then I'll have like a protein bar that's 180 calories and 21 grams of protein in that.
And so that gets me to like 72 grams.
And then I have to eat.
And since I'm cutting, I'm not trying to get to 200.
Like I just want to hit like at least 170 every day.
And so I'm having to eat quite a bit of like ground lean turkey
and chicken breast that's not as flavorful as I would usually like it.
You know, I'm putting lots of spices on it, but you know how it is.
There's no transition for just throwing a fuck ton of butter in that pan
and making it. You know, you can't emulate emulate that without the butter at least a bunch of oil
so yeah but i'm still riding the high of like noticing in the mirror now where i'm like well
goddamn you're you're starting to lose you're starting to look just a slight bit better than
you did uh what was it uh 18 days ago so um part of it i will admit is like i do not want to show up to our meetup
and just look terrible that would be disappointing if like you know uh so many people on like this
kind of cam that we're on like this level will just have fat horrible lower bodies and i just
like i don't want to show up and just waddle towards you at the airport or whatever.
I got to make sure that I'm slimming up a bit.
Yeah, I think collarbone up is my best look.
So it's going to take some diet discipline.
Arguably my worst.
Really?
No, I just mean because, you know, not a lot of good happening in this range.
That's crazy. But yeah, so I'm really motivated with the fitness thing right now uh my lifts are going down uh a bit just like i was at 245 benching and i'm like down to 235 now and i just don't want to lose
any more than that because like without the energy and all the food it's really fucking hard like it could be like when i was a bad day also unless unless you
know more than me yeah it's been like a week of that because like when i was kind of doing whatever
i wanted dirty bulking like in april like i was like it was pretty easy for me to throw that
weight around now like every time i'm like getting under the bar i'm like yeah come on come on can't
back down from this weight don't let yourself
regress anymore and like that kind of stuff but with all the lifts so yeah i'm thank god for for
weight lifting like it it really i wish i'd started this years before i did it's only been
like three years but it it gets rid of so much of my stress like if i have a really rough day
and i just like i feel like i can get energy out it it really you don't seem to mirror that as much
what was that Kyle do you scream like
Tony Soprano when you left like
not not as intense as him
but you know I've definitely
like done that like
like struggling to put
it up in my own basement because I'm not embarrassed
by myself I don't want to feel like a bitch.
So was he.
But Dr. Melfi's next door.
She thinks they're torturing someone.
And Tony had that like bench press machine where it was safer.
So I watched that episode the other day where he and Chrissy were driving around and they
just happened to see that bunch of people stealing wine and they they pull around and they like rob robbers and then like bikers are coming
out and like worth the Vipers and Tony's like yeah daddy with the fucking Vipers
oh my god what is that your girls your Cub Scout group fucking hands up yeah
she's driving around. That was funny.
Oh, last night, as I was ending my stream,
I purposefully, the previous evening,
finished episode 12 of season six and was like, how on earth are they going to wrap this up
in episode 13?
I'm going to feel so not pleased with this
because it just doesn't feel like it's set up enough.
Then I realized season six apparently is twice as long as every other season and so i'm up to season six episode
19 i got halfway through that one today so i think i've got four and a half more episodes until the
end and i'm thank god the wire's on the horizon because i'm going to dread it when this show's
over i've been enjoying it so much chrissy just died i did not that caught
me by surprise he was a character i did not expect to see die yeah and but after that car accident
happened and tony was getting out and chrissy said like the best drug test or whatever he said
and then he saw that branch like right where a baby's face would have been i was like oh no tony
oh no don't don't kill chrissy and then he and then he kills him so pretty you know pretty cold-blooded from him yes
he still he still hasn't told anybody that he killed chrissy i'm assuming he takes that to the
grave with him but we'll see yeah he ain't telling nobody about that yeah woody and i are already on
the wire we await you nice and uh in baltimore i'm almost done season two, which took a little while to ramp up.
You know, like,
what to tell about The Wire.
So in The Wire,
a bunch of detectives form
like a special task unit
in the first season
to look at drug dealers.
And then, this isn't a spoiler,
in the second time,
it takes a little while for all the boys to get back together and um i guess that for me that building stage didn't have as
i didn't like it as much yeah that's fair to say like when they when you finally get form voltron
there yes it's it's like yeah we're getting the band. It's like that line from Blues Brothers.
We're getting the band back together.
Mm-hmm.
And it's good when they do.
Something about the dock workers aren't as compelling to me as the drug dealers are.
It's a worse season.
I don't like the dock workers either as much, even though I really like that actor who plays
like the main.
Yes, the bald guy. I don't know
his name.
He's got that voice that's really grappling.
Polish guy.
Yeah, I like him.
That douchebag son of his is annoying.
Anyway, you've got that to look
forward to. Great, great fucking show.
Speaking of douchebag sons,
I just watched the scene where AJ
tried to kill himself and i
was hoping so hard that it would work because i am fucking tired of his storyline i don't give a
shit about aj i thought he was going to be a little rambunctious fat kid from season one
and that has not panned out at all he hasn't been funny in six years no he's been annoying
and shitty at I met.
Oh, it's kind of, you know, doing her own thing out in California and bouncing around or whatever.
But AJ sucks.
I thought AJ was going to transform into a badass like his dad.
I thought AJ was going to like sort of go towards the family and, you know, just be tough and fearless and cruel.
He's just no, that didn't happen.
Right.
Like he never gets good he's a follower he's like
hanging out with those like nickel and dime operation kids pouring acid on people's toes
for 60 or whatever it is but yeah his storyline is interesting yeah yeah i um i i've also been
watching better call saul season five you know, the new season that just came out this year. Fuck, it's good.
I finished it.
I finished it. It was excellent.
I finished
the last episode of season 5 and I was like,
but I want more.
How do I get more? It was so fucking
good. Lots of shit happened.
I need a big season 4 recap. It's been so
long. I don't think I saw
4. I feel like i quit on
better call saul around two or three and i think a lot of people did but i'm told that it got better
you know it had a rare sort of boost usually this bell curve in in quality of these shows and
uh it had a second bump on the bell curve well it was excellent i really really fucking liked it um
there there was a couple of uh there
was one particular really big action scene uh you know like a big gunfight and uh you know i'm not
gonna spoil anything excellent season action scene it's 20 bucks it was like 20 to buy the whole
season in hd so i did that and i fucking blazed through that whole season um maybe in two days
or something like that it was really fucking good oh i thought it season. Maybe in two days or something like that. It was really fucking good.
Oh, I thought it was free.
On Netflix or something. No, it just came out.
Season 5. Oh, okay.
Oh, that's something else that's good to watch.
Yeah, and then I watched the new Rick and Morty.
Oh, the third one?
Yeah, I thought this one was
a big step up from the first two.
The Vat of Ass episode.
I liked it a lot. I haven't seen it.
I think it's dark.
It's a little dark.
It's got one of those reveals where
Rick is like, oh yeah, you thought it was like this?
Well, it's like that. And that
is horrific. The things that I've done.
You pushed me. You pushed me to do
this and I did it. Now admit it.
Admit it. And we're just like, oh my god.
Why would you do
that you what you didn't have to he's like i did it because i wanted to do it because that's what i
do he's like fuck i want to see it yeah i did i like it when that stuff happens have you watched
solar opposites yet is it out i mean hulu's promoting the shit out of it right but is it out because i tried to watch
it i forget when a week or two ago and it wasn't actually released yet it uh it's out now okay
okay yeah it keeps trying to get me to watch season one it looks so similar in art style
to rick and morty that it's like like you know how Family Guy and American Dad have similar
art styles but it's not exact
like the characters don't have the exact same
style this is exactly the
same Rick and Morty and Solar Ops
it looks like it could be the same show like scene
to scene you wouldn't notice any art they should do some crossover
episodes I'm sure
they will yeah it just seems
interesting that I think Dan Harmon has connected all
of his universes
together in little ways
throughout the years.
It'd be fun if they did crossover episodes
with art that doesn't match. If just Bart Simpson
walks around for some unknown reason.
Yeah.
I don't think Fox is going to let him do that.
No, they will. They did it with
Family Guy, did it?
They had that crossover.
We were watching that recently, my girlfriend
and I, where they were joking around
and Bart goes like,
eat my shorts, and then Stevie goes,
oh, he has something like me, like what the deuce.
It's probably like what the deuce, and
Brian's like, yeah, his is probably more popular.
Probably way, way
more popular.
I liked when they crossed over
with South Park
and Cartman. What did you do
that was the worst thing you ever did?
I cut the head off a statue.
It was like, oh yeah.
That's pretty cool, man. One time I got
manly kid until I killed his pants and I made
him into chili and I fed it to him.
That's pretty fucked up, dude.
Yes.
That's a great yeah yeah season five episode something yes that's like the heart of the goodness of south park just the off the wall bananas crazy silly stuff i love that that's
one of my favorite episodes for sure it's like top three um the other one i really like is when
they all buy those ninja weapons at the fair or whatever.
Yeah.
And they like turn it.
And look, Kenny, something you can afford.
Ninja shuriken, $1.99.
Yeah.
They're buying all the weapons.
And Kenny's like, what can I afford?
And he's like, yeah, man, you can bite a shuriken.
And then he heaves it at Butters.
And they take him to a vet.
And then it breaks away from the Japanese animation style.
And Butters just got a fucking shuriken embedded in his goddamn eye.
And he's crying.
Butters, shut up.
And then they take him to a vet.
And they glue dog hair to him like all right
butters give us your best give us your best dog and he's sitting there with the shirk and he's
like going they take him to like he finds his way to hospital and he's still got like
ears glued to him the doctor's like oh unfortunately for this little pup i'm a person doctor send him to a pound oh man yeah that's a really good one fun times with weapons
name of that episode season eight damn good one yeah oh man the amount of time i've wasted watching
south park good sorry go ahead uh pandemic south so george foreman's mom, right, Freya's mom,
she's been working from home
due to the whole North Carolina shutdown or whatever.
And her company's going to make it permanent.
Look, I heard this, I guess she told Jackie,
Jackie told me.
So I could get it wrong in this game of telephone.
But it sounds like working from home
will be an option for her forever.
That's great.
I wonder if that will be more popular.
In my head, I could be wrong.
I think they extrapolated this whole thing to like,
they're getting rid of this office space.
That's how I interpreted it.
Is commercial real estate going to be long-term impacted by COVID?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they will.
You think yes?
Yeah, definitely. i mean twitter did
it i think we may have mentioned that right right twitter has thousands of employees and they're
like yeah you can all just work from home because everything's going exactly the same we're going to
save money on overhead apple just invested like a billion or something in that commercial real
estate do you know what i'm talking about it looks like a new spaceship i think yeah like
they did a really big thing some giant artistic building that they put together that it's an
like a lot of silicon valley silicon silicon valley companies uh silicon valley is a much
more fun place they tend to like buy five buildings here and five buildings there and
five buildings there and they have all the like the campuses aren't linked and really planned like say microsoft's is so apple cured that by making one mega campus
and now it almost seems like that's not the way to do it yeah they were out over their skis a
little bit doesn't seem like a a good idea yeah i wonder if you'll have did you have a work from a
home option months ago not really not really no it was more just like, like, if there's a
meeting that I have to get to, like, I have to get there. I
can't just call in. Okay. Hopefully, that's changing.
Yeah, there may be a permanent work from home option available.
That'd be great. That'd be that'd be wonderful for my my
streaming career.
It would be and like, streaming career, but more than that, like lifestyle and stuff.
I think part of the reason that I see people walking their dogs and their kids and stuff all the time is because they're not commuting anymore.
They've gotten a little bit of their day back combined with longer days, and people are just getting outside a little more.
People are just like getting outside a little more.
I finished my workout during a call today and I just muted myself because I got to a point during it where I was like, well, I've had all the input that was necessary for me.
I need to stay on the call, though, so it doesn't look like I'm leaving.
Mute.
And so I'm just listening and then just get back to working out in my basement.
It's great.
So, Taylor, here's my advice. You could do working from home is something Cisco always had.
my advice you could do working from home is something cisco always had uh if they do call your name and you weren't listening say sorry can you repeat that i was on mute it works a hundred
percent of the time now mute doesn't actually stop you from being able to hear things no one ever
questioned it 13 years i used that shit it It kind of worked 100% of the time.
I couldn't hear you.
I was on mute.
It's like, oh, okay, I'll repeat then.
No one ever says, well, wait, you can still hear a mute?
Well, what's funny is like sometimes it'll become abundantly clear that someone's just not there anymore
because like they didn't turn their face cam on.
And it'll just be someone asking like so alan did uh did you get those uh
tps reports completed and uh shoot those over to samantha alan all right we'll just reconnect with
him later uh anyway and it's like some guy and it doesn't matter like nobody's coming out alan's got
some bigger problems the tps reports now you'd think there'd be more getting a little call from
greg it seems like you'd get more consequences be more. He's going to be getting a little call from Greg.
It seems like you'd get more consequences for that,
but there never seemed to be.
Never.
In all this time,
like people just totally not paying attention to meetings.
No, there are people who like don't need to be in meetings and are for some reason on the Zoom call or whatever.
And it'll be like, you know what that's like
where you're in minute 56 of an hour
long plan thing and it's like people are like all right i've got a hard out at one i have another
thing i have to get to and someone who hasn't said anything the whole time at like you know
357 will be like you know what just wanted to say i think we're doing a great job and everybody's
doing good and i'm just so so happy for the progress we're making. Good jobs all around.
And it's like, bitch, you just realized you didn't say anything the whole call.
And now you're trying to sneak a couple lines in.
I know what you're doing.
So Cisco had this audio conferencing software.
And when you dialed into the meeting, it would say to say your name.
And then it would say, you know, Taylor, joining the meeting.
And they usually give you
first and last name,
but I'm not here to do that.
So,
at first,
I would just do that,
you know?
Woody joining the meeting.
After a while,
I realized
I had to be silent
when I joined the meeting.
Because,
when you leave the meeting,
it says,
Woody's Gamertag,
leaving the meeting.
Now I ditch, and it's just like, beep.
Who was that?
Who's gone?
It's hard to tell who's missing.
It's a big mystery to me.
I don't know.
Someone just ducked out early on this meeting at, you know, whatever,
1.37 when they weren't supposed to leave yet, but they didn't give their name, so they got away with it.
Perfect.
Yeah.
Lots of funny little things this happened just a couple
weeks ago where I was on the call with like
6-7 people from the company
and I was like
alright well as soon as this wraps Rich just stay on
for a minute I need to ask you a couple things
and you know
call ends
this person leaves, leaves, leaves.
And there's just some fucking lady.
Just hanging out, trying to talk.
And I'm like, hey, Samantha, you know, if Rich and I could just talk for a minute.
It's like, oh, no, it's fine.
Well, no, it's not.
You're a third party and he's working with the company.
It's not at all.
Like, can you can you go?
And then eventually it's like some people just don't fucking get it.
They don't get it.
And it's and it's a certain age bracket.
It's a little boomery.
Right, right.
Would you say her name was because it should have been Karen, it seems.
Yeah, it should have been Karen.
Yeah, that's you know, but all those are tiny little inconveniences.
Not even worth bringing up unless you're joking around about it. Like. It's so much more convenient to just pop on a call.
Commute time alone. I've filled up my car with gas once in the last
10 weeks. It saves actual money. Yeah, this is real
money. I'm not going out to eat.
That's real money I'm saving. Although'm using some more you're using extra utilities though
that's true but like
not that much I wouldn't think
I haven't looked at my bills
unless you do your air conditioning differently
that might make a difference
I do it's cold
there's some people
both of you work
I can see you making the AC go to like 79
while you're at work
and then dropping down.
We can't do that now.
Yeah, I keep mine at like...
That's too hot for my walls.
I wouldn't even do that to them.
I keep it at like 69.
Yeah.
I feel like those numbers aren't transferable.
Am I crazy?
What do you mean?
If I go to your house and set it to 69 and then go to my house and set it to 69, do you think they're both equally calibrated?
Do you think that both of them, for example, like is the thermostat in such a good place that it adequately represents the other rooms it's in charge of?
You know, like you may have a warm hallway, so you set it to 74 and then all the bedrooms are 69 like you like it.
I don't think you can just compare those numbers
across houses and zones.
Probably not.
I mean, I've got a ranch-style house,
so I've got one zone,
and so it does a pretty uniform job of it.
But yeah, sometimes, like Kyle said,
I like turning it down to just so chilly
before I go to bed because I like that.
I like feeling like I'm beating the cold.
My living room has really high ceilings, and that bed because I like that. I like feeling like I'm beating the cold. My living room is,
has really high ceilings and that's where I usually am.
And,
and I have,
there's just a gigantic vent above where I sit on the couch.
And I sit that,
I said that shit to 69 or 70 and I can just feel the air.
And then in my,
in my bedroom,
it's like perfectly positioned so that where my head is on the pillow, if I look straight up, I can see the vent that's just blowing air straight down.
I mean, it's great.
I love being chilly.
Sounds cozy.
For sleeping, I do too.
Yeah.
So I, of course, live in a household and I never fuss about other people changing the thermostat, right?
You know, if you turn it down because you were hot or you turn it up because you were cold, knock yourself out.
It's on a schedule.
So this is really like a two-hour change you're making, and it's not worth having any kind of fight over.
Cool.
The one thing that I will go to the mats over is, like, fucking if you do this, meet me in the octagon.
is like fucking if you do this meet me in the octagon if one zone is on heat and then the adjacent one is on air conditioning oh wow and you have them set to fight
oh that is not okay yes
yeah you understand why dads get mad about that now where it's just like you're just
fucking pouring money into the toilet right now.
Stop it.
Oh, yeah.
We don't have a pool heater.
And I was talking to my mom about it.
I was like, man, I can't wait.
We've gone swimming since.
But I can't wait for it to get hot out because the pool's all clear and ready to go.
But we haven't gone swimming yet.
And she's like, you know, if you got a pool heater, you'd extend your season a month or two.
You'd probably be in the water right now.
It's like we have a track record of forgetting pool stuff.
You know, like as I said that, there was a robot in the pool doing its thing.
No, no, I know.
I was putting water in the pool.
It was a few inches low, putting water in the pool.
Sometime at like 4 a.m. at the end of my live stream, I'm like, no!
I'm still playing.
Fuck!
I go outside pool it's coming out the overflow
all the salt and the cyanide or whatever the fuck you put in the pool he's draining out and
it was like yeah this is why i don't have a heater i know for sure four days later i'd be like oh
fuck i just spent seven hundred dollars on pool heat The world's largest hot tub. Just bubbling in there.
Maybe you could put it on a timer or something. But yeah, it's
a problem. We fuck up the pool
all the time.
Just leaving the robot running,
leaving the water running.
Seems like it would be most economical
just to have it always keeping
the water at whatever temperature you want it to
be at. It seems like that would be more economical than heating it up
and then letting that large volume fall down to natural temperatures and then
heating it up and bouncing up all the way up and down. The same way it's more economical to do that
with your household. There's a specific temperature that's the most economical
temperature. I think it's around 74 degrees, 75
degrees, something like that
you might be right i don't know and i guess it depends what you're comparing it to right
if you only run the heater like three days in may it's surely more expensive to keep it nice
all the time but if you're running the heater like 14 days in may it's probably cheaper to
run it all 30.
Like I'm just making that up.
Like that makes sense to me.
Yeah, I don't know.
It just seems like it would take a ton of energy
to go from whatever ambient temperature is
to whatever comfortable is,
but not nearly as much to maintain.
Right, but if you do that once,
it's probably less expensive than maintaining 30 times, right?
So there's a balance in there somewhere.
But anyway, none of them are as cheap as not having a pool heater. it's probably less expensive than maintaining 30 times. Right. So there's, there's a balance in there somewhere. Uh,
but anyway,
none of them are as cheap as not having a pool heater.
Sure.
That's where we are right now.
Speaking of little annoying expenses,
I woke up this morning and took my dogs out to find that a tree and like the
woods.
So I've got a fence in my backyard,
I roll around my backyard.
And then like,
there's a woods behind that.
And one of like this tree that I guess had been dying,
like probably that big around decently,
you know,
medium sized tree fell and broke one of the posts out of my fucking fence.
And so I'm going to figure out how to fix that and just debris all over my
fucking yard.
I got to take care of that.
I ordered a chainsaw off amazon because i don't have one
and i'm gonna have to dice it up and i need one anyway because i this is not gonna be the last
time it happens i have so many trees around my house what do you think did you get yeah you just
call a guy and he comes and does everything for you and hauls it off yeah but i don't need it
hauled off i live near the woods i could just chop it up get it off my fence and throw it back in the
woods how big of a tree are we talking uh well when it like if here's the fence when it fell like a bunch of sections
broke off into my yard and it's probably at this point like nine feet tall still leaning on my
fence so i'll have to go back around my fence into the woods and then chop it up and i support
the chainsaw purchase i think it's something a homeowner needs i bought a chainsaw like 18 years ago and i probably use it every two years
yeah see i feel like i figure it's going to be a good thing to have around because you know with
all the trees i have around me it's only a matter of time until it happens again so and it doubles
as a weapon that's true that's video games yeah and in real life it passes the woody test of being easier to hold on to than
to pull away from the from you god right it's very hard to steal a chainsaw from someone who
doesn't want to take him yeah you got a real problem what are you gonna do come from over
there ah yeah yeah side to side Like a golf club fails that test.
I feel like I could grab the head of it and I've got a better grip than you do.
Yeah.
Or you snap that fucking thing into those things are flimsy.
Right now.
I always thought I was wrong about I'm not a golfer, so I don't spend much time handling clubs.
But it always seemed like if you hit a golf club on the shaft on my shoulder, it break the golf club.
Not me.
The the aluminum ones or the metal ones,
whatever they're made out of, absolutely would.
And I think you'd still be in fighting shape.
Those carbon fiber ones or graphite
or whatever they're made out of,
they don't shatter as well.
Really?
I've hit stuff with both.
They flex.
Okay.
Yeah, I would have thought they broke,
but I guess not.
Never really played any golf,
but we used to go to the driving range a ton. Yeah. I've been thought they broke, but I guess not. Never really played any golf, but we used to go to the driving range a ton.
Yeah.
I've been before.
Not a ton, though.
I'm terrible.
To look at someone golf, you would think I can do that, right?
It doesn't look like a difficult task.
But when I did it, one, I didn't always make great contact with the ball.
Maybe I hit too hard or tried too hard.
Another, my stroke, I don't know what it's called,
but you should have almost a vertical stroke
or maybe a little off axis.
Mine was too flat,
so my finish was kind of off too low
instead of up here where it's supposed to be.
And it sounds easy to fix,
but it turns out that stuff is a little hard to dial in.
Yeah.
It's hard.
It's really difficult.
I always just like going to the range and just,
just hitting the ball as hard as I fucking could and seeing who could hit it
the farthest.
That's the easiest thing.
Yeah.
I haven't been,
you guys have top golfs near you.
I don't know.
Is that one of those indoor things with the screen?
It's a,
well,
it's like a tiered leveled thing oh yeah it's like
hundreds and hundreds of yards and then a giant you know uh rope yeah and like it's but it's also
like a bar and restaurant i haven't been yet but it looks like a ton of fun to just go there get
drunk and hit golf balls as hard as you can when i was going to the driving range i was athletic
right i was pretty athletic i was like 26 years old and uh you know like you would look at me and think this is an athletic guy cool
and i'm there and i'm hitting the and it's not going particularly well and then these 66 year
olds roll up and oh my god just crushing it crushing it and it went straight all the time
it's like what the fuck like they're beating me
in golf but i don't think like any other sport would they be beating me like this maybe shuffleboard
i don't know i was about to say you think so punk come on back to the shuffleboard lane
put your shit in it's it's kind of neat to have a sport that exists that you don't age out of.
Probably most people listening to this are so young that's not on their radar.
But you don't really age out of golf.
It seems like you can still be competent at it at 70.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I would say so.
I don't know.
They have a full seniors tour, yeah.
I just like knocking the shit out of the ball.
That was always fun.
We just go to the pawn shop, buy a few drivers, a few irons and go just hit the ball i think i had a rental i think that's how i did it
yeah they're cheap as fuck used because so many people like oh that's tiger woods fellow if he
can do it i can do it and then they're like shit this is hard i never thought that
i've never looked well you're not racist enough to have
those thoughts i'll step up my game um oh have you guys i guess trump is taking daily hydroxychloroquine
how close did i come yeah i think he nailed it really yeah uh i everyone loves this right like
the conservatives are in love with the idea that he's doing it because it proves that he was right and it's a valuable drug and et cetera.
And the Democrats are in love with the idea that he's doing it because it's dangerous and it's going to kill him.
And all America is united around this.
And I thought it was hilarious.
Is it?
I don't know shit about it.
Isn't that is that supposed to help?
So here's the background.
Testing it is a helpful thing.
It's become a bit of a partisan issue.
Like the facts around this drugs are partisan,
whereas facts are not supposed to be partisan.
One side would...
Trump, it's an anti-malaria drug.
And I guess malaria is kind of flu-like.
And initially they thought it would help with COVID-19.
And then studies came out and said it didn't help.
But it's so new, it's hard to have any long-term accurate studies on it.
So let's consider the science undecided, right, to try to be unbiased.
It has some negative downsides having to do with heart conditions,
and it can be dangerous in that regard.
So the blue team is all focusing on its downsides
because Trump is for it,
therefore the blue team is against it.
The red team maintains this is a 40-year-old drug.
They use it for lupus.
I've read arthritis.
I don't know if that's true,
and it's definitely a malaria drug.
That's its original thing.
You hear 40-year-old drug.
Some guys are like like this is a proven
outstanding drug and then if you're on the blue team you're like oh yeah you know with medicine
the older the better like you know like it's supposed to be preventative is that what he
thinks that so they say that if you're on this and you get covet 19 then your symptoms will be
lighter that's the thought process behind it.
Hopefully they figured out a way to make it work.
Yeah, so the CDC is against using it.
They came out and they said, look, we tested it.
It's not a good idea.
But I don't know. Let's just agree that the science is unsettled.
It takes more than two months to figure things out.
Yeah.
I think Donald Trump knows what he's doing.
The World Health Organization
has paid for two so many times
throughout this.
I can't even decide on what part of the egg to eat.
Meanwhile, Donald Trump
has a nuclear arsenal at his command.
He's taking hydroxychloroquine.
And last time I checked,
he was as healthy as a
very, very large
horse.
I wouldn't doubt that
he isn't even on that,
and he's saying it as a way to try and
save people. I tweeted that.
Oh,
I thought, I put a different spin
on it, maybe it's my bias,
that he's still pimping the
hydroxychloroquine. I messed it up. That he's still pimping the hydroxychloroquine.
I messed it up. That he's still pimping this
anti-malaria drug because
it would make him right all
along. And that's his motivation.
Sure.
I don't know.
He's always got something
going on. He's trading
barbs with Obama right now.
Nancy Pelosi said that she hopes he's not on this
because it's bad for your heart and he's morbidly obese.
Everyone's morbidly obese starts trending on Twitter.
CNN did a fact check on whether he's morbidly obese or not.
Oh my God.
He cares.
He's fat.
It's for my entertainment.
It's for my entertainment.
I read the whole thing uh cnn was actually almost conservative biased in this they're like one
morbidly obese is not a thing that if you i figured if a cdc or wha or whatever but that's
not a clinical term there are there's obese and there's three stages of obese but let's just agree
that the third stage is the one that you might call morbidly obese but it's not like yeah you know morbidly obese wasn't pc enough so so
it's been changed to something so uh advanced huskiness so then they decided whether his bmi
fits in the stage three obesity and they used the official white house height and weight of 243 and
six foot three and said that he's not he's obese,
but not morbidly obese. And that was there. And I was like, obesity is like a 29 BMI, right?
So it says underweight would be what that can't be right. I questioned both the 16.5 and 24.9
overweight 25 to 29.9 BMI.
30 or higher is obese.
40 or higher is class 3 obese, which is extreme, severe, or morbid obesity.
I think both the 6'3 and the 243 pound numbers are untrue.
Yeah, I agree.
0% weight is 243.
Or is 6'3.
Oh, right.
He's 6'4.
If he's 6'3.
Powering individual. or is 6'3 oh right he's 6'4 if he's 6'3 if he's 6'3 then my guess
for his weight would be like
290
I'm not good at guessing
once you get past like 220 or so
he's very heavy
and if he's 6'3
that's a lot of frame for that weight to be panging out
I'd also need to see him in person
it's hard to tell on TV.
Do you know who Steve Kerr is?
He's the coach for the Golden State Warriors.
And I always thought he was a relatively short white guy.
That was my impression of him.
And then I saw that he's actually like 6'1", 6'2", really athletic.
And I'm like, right, right.
Because he's surrounded by towering giants all the time. This guy
hit the game-winning shot for
the Bulls in one of their championships.
Why did I think he was short?
He's a professional NBA player. He just
stands next to Duncan all the...
Not Duncan. He's 6'3".
Durant, I meant to say. He's 6'3", Steve Kerr?
Yeah. But when he
stands next to seven-footers all day, he looks
tiny. I've only seen
Trump in person the one time
and he was strategically
standing and sitting next to Chris
Christie. Man looked
slim.
Is that Michael
Phelps or is that Donald Trump?
That's a super athlete we're looking
at, folks.
Look at the way he's able to walk and breathe without a great deal of effort.
That's incredible.
That's someone I bet is not doing well in quarantine, Chris Christie.
He's burying his head in ice cream.
He's getting attention.
Maybe you remember Bridgegate.
Oh, yeah.
Fort Lee, New Jersey is a town that didn't necessarily support his re-election.
And when he won re-election, he changed the toll booth so that Fort Lee wasn't served by very many tolls.
And they had huge traffic backups.
That's Bridgegate in a nutshell.
And once Chris Christie found out about it, he was not pleased, which is the bullshit line.
The truth is he was very much in the midst of deciding to punish this town.
And the guy who went to jail is now out of jail.
And he's ratting on Chris Christie.
Yeah.
He's like he knew all along.
He was in the thick of it.
What was that?
I was hoping it would be like a crazy revenge, like movie style thing where he leaves cryptic notes in Chris Christie's fridge.
Because that's where I them. Chris Christie is like
a Sopranos character. He would fit right
in with that cast.
If he sat down during
that meeting with Trump
and just started talking about Gabagool
and fucking Uncle
Junior, you'd
buy it. He would be the fattest
one though. Even though
there's some real fatties on the Sopranos,
Chris Christie would win.
He's not fucking fatter than
Ginny Sack.
I think he is.
Ginny Sack's only 250.
But the...
What's his name? The gay one.
Pussy? Vito.
Vito in the early years
is unrecognizably big
Here's an interesting factoid
Now that you're almost done with the show
Bobby Baclieri, not an overweight man
At no point in the series
He is wearing
He is wearing an enormous
Belly piece
Really?
Yeah
Because he does look
Just tremendously fat I didn't pick that up because he's
wearing like a person under his shirt like that's strapped on he's he's become one of my favorite
characters which means he's gonna die in the last few episodes so he he seems like a genuinely good
guy can you say his last name again? I'm trying to get a picture.
Bobby Bakula.
That's not helping me spell it.
Can you put in just Bobby Bakula?
B-A-C-A-L-A.
He shows up.
B-A-C-L-I.
B-A-C-A-L-A, yeah.
I had no idea.
I'm going to see if I can notice.
What?
He's not a fat person?
He's probably overweight, but he's not like that.
Because he's got the fat face.
Right?
Yeah, huh.
He does have a...
There's no way.
There's no fucking way.
How can he not be a heavy person?
I'm going to look at the actor.
You can't tell because
all these Italians are wearing the biggest clothes in America
Half the time
The size of these t-shirts
Well it has been 13 years
Since he was the character
So he may have gained some weight
In the interim
I want Bobby to survive
He won't though I have a feeling
And I want AJ to die
He will I have a feeling
Or he won't die I have a feeling and i want aj to die he will i have a feeling or he won't die i'm sorry uh kyle are you mistaken like because i'm looking at him at
like a backstage thing he didn't wear that costume all the time right sure yeah
his wife hated it okay i think you're pulling her leg i'm not pulling your leg i've uh i've
seen interviews
with him you know talking about wore a fat suit in the sopranos there you go in the first two
seasons of the hit crime series oh i guess he packed on some pounds for seasons three four
five and six so he didn't have to wear well he's enormously fat in the first couple seasons like
there's a there's an there's a part where he's getting out of his car to talk to Tony after Uncle Junior
has kind of been pushed out of the picture.
And he can barely
get out of the car.
Tony's watching him, and
they make a point to
pause on his struggle
to exit a fucking Cadillac sedan.
Yeah, I remember that.
Yeah, that was good.
Man, it's going to suck when this show's over. This is i this is gonna be a show i'm gonna re-watch definitely see if i catch anything new
i think you'll like the wire i want to get to season three of it and give you a fresher status
report on how i feel but yeah it's got uh it's got a couple of star people you'll recognize
obviously uh idris elba and uhba. Woody might not know this.
Michael B. Jordan.
Who's that?
You don't know who Michael B. Jordan is? The actor?
What else has he played?
Well, he was Creed.
Oh.
Very talented black actor.
Oh, yeah. He's a detective, right?
No, he's a child.
Oh, shit.
Which one is he?
Fuck.
They've all got stupid names like Bebo and Stinkum and... Right, right.
Anyway, at the end of season one,
I think I'm going to say this in a non-spoiler way.
The resolution isn't what i expected or hoped for and uh it's just like
damn so you're telling me life's not fair like it it hits hard he's the kid who has all those
other kids under his wing in that abandoned house he's got like the faintest of
mustaches oh my yeah yeah i was watching it last night and i was like is is that michael b jordan
i was like it can't be that guy's a grown-ass man i was like wait a minute this is 2002 i'm
watching right now he the actor does a very good job i was a very compelling character yeah that
hell 2002 i was immature i got that i was childish
yeah michael bjorn is 33 so he was similar in age to you yeah you're younger
anyway great show i look forward to you hopping on that train and us discussing that a little bit
yeah me too.
We've got a cool guest this week.
I'm not going to spoil it.
Excited, though.
The eye, Kyle.
Painful now?
Completely worn off meds?
What do we got?
It's real swollen.
It looks like it got punched in the eye pretty badly.
I think there's a lot of capillaries popped in there.
The eye itself?
Capillaries?
Maybe I'm using the wrong word.
No, I meant in the eyelid.
It just seems like there's a lot of black purplishness
on the entire eyelid.
It's very swollen, like my eye's never been swollen before.
It doesn't hurt.
It is a little scratchy when I look around,
but I got a really good... I had to take the bandage off. It doesn't hurt. It is a little scratchy when I look around.
But I got a really good... I had to take the bandage off.
I don't know if I showed you a picture of the bandage they had on there.
But it was a huge bandage that covered half my face.
And that looked absurd.
And I was sitting on my couch and I was like,
I got to know if he did a good job or not.
I got to see what this guy did.
And so I pulled it off and looked.
Amazing job.
These guys are fucking
professionals apparently at cutting things they're plastic surgeons like it turns out plastic surgery
and dermatology are two of the hardest doctors to be those aren't the ones i would have guessed
like plastics maybe but like a lot of money i to me dermatologists i know they work with cancer
but like it's a 90 pimple job i would have thought that it was next to podiatrist,
but apparently it's not.
Apparently it's near the top of the heap.
Yeah, the part he didn't,
I can tell that he didn't go very deep,
but he got it all.
It looks like he didn't destroy any of the margins.
He didn't get any more than he needed.
Sounds like he was fast, too.
So fast. So fast.
So fast. Like 60 seconds.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm super happy with what he did.
I hope he heals up pretty soon.
I've got lots of antibiotic ointment
and antibiotic pills, so hopefully I don't get
a goddamn eye infection and go blind.
Nah, you'll be fine.
Yeah, you'll be good. I might give myself an eye patch
for the show. That'd be cool. That is very cool.
I need you to do that now.
I think that we should do that too, Taylor.
Can we all solidarity move?
I was going to show up with two and take a nap.
Oh, sorry.
Could you repeat that? I was on mute.
I know your games. Alright all right well that was a good
show i thought pkn 300