Painkiller Already - PKN #301

Episode Date: May 28, 2020

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Starting point is 00:00:00 PK and episode 301. How you doing boys? Not too bad. Doing good. Haircut looks good Kyle. I was saying that before the show started. Yeah, I had it last week. Well then you're in that post haircut. Could have mentioned that before I look like an asshole on the show. Oh, did Woody forget a thing or not notice it? Well, we talked about it for a few minutes and you're like, yeah, this is how long the line was. Well, I was being polite and private, but here we are in front of a few people. Thanks for that. Thanks for the compliment.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Taylor, I cut you off, but what were you saying? Oh, no. I was trying to piggyback on Kyle's hair compliment and try and fish us out of that well we started off the show on. Here we go. Anyway, I'm deep enough into the wire that i'm i think i'm on the last episode of season one and very very good so far i did not expect uh who i realized wallace is that actor you were talking about last
Starting point is 00:01:00 time michael b jordan yeah michael b j Jordan, who plays Black Panther. And he looks totally different. I guess it's 20 years ago. But yeah, I would not. It looks like the mouth, chin area. Like that. Yeah. Yeah. You can see little bits of it.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Very distinctive. He's still got that like, I'm not even close to being an adult face. And so, yeah, I didn't expect him to die, which stunk because I kind of liked Wallace's character. He pissed himself like a bitch. He did piss himself like a bitch. Wallace is the guy that took care of the little kids, right? No, that's Michael. That's seasons four and five.
Starting point is 00:01:35 I'm definitely thinking of season one. Yeah, he takes care of a bunch of kids, get them ready for school in the morning. Oh, he also does that. Yes. He has fast food buckets and things and you know taco bell so i'm liking that show um so you haven't seen the last episode i wish you had nope i i'll be finishing that tonight i'm sure i'll watch that last i i've planned out how to 9-11 happens every one of those cops dies i've been planning how to say this in a non-spoiler way
Starting point is 00:02:05 who gets which punishments and how it lays out is not what I expected it's kind of unpredictable and we'll get your opinion after you see it but I was like huh that's hell in it
Starting point is 00:02:21 okay you know like I'm really enjoying it just as much almost That's how it is. Okay. You know, like that. I'm really enjoying it just as much, almost not quite as much, almost as much as the Sopranos so far, but they just had the first time where the cops kind of have a scene with Wee Bay, not Wee Bay, the fucking Barksdale and the other guy stringer.
Starting point is 00:02:41 And I was like, oh, cool. Maybe, you know, now that you know how it is when you're watching a show like that and they finally meet and it's like i've been watching you guys for hours but you don't know each other like that kind of thing and so i liked that um i like that they opened the safe you saw that scene right yeah yeah they just did that one they know the police are outside they've got i don't know if they have drugs or money or what but they have 50 000 150 grand in a safe the lock i'm keeping it from all the other drug dealers and people who steal and what have you but the police are outside and they're like well
Starting point is 00:03:15 no sense in losing a safe we might as well open it for them and when the police come in the safe door is already open and i was like i don't know i it's smart they're smart they're always smart the two big guys are barksdale and stringer right stinger or stringer russell yeah russell russell bell aka stringer bell and avon barksdale uh throughout the whole their entire character arc i never think they're dumb no they're not prideful maybe but uh not stupid i could see barksdale slipping into some some stupid stuff i guess just from what he's done so far because it it does seem like stringer's the one who's kind of like more button up more like hey settle down we gotta what you think this is a fucking joke no we got to go underground this
Starting point is 00:04:02 isn't a video game bitch or like like trying to get it under control. And you can see, maybe I'm wrong. But I get the sense that there are going to be some times where Barkstuff really pops off and does things that Stringer would have been more prudent. Which one has the right idea? Like my opinion oscillates back and forth throughout the show. Based on the situation.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Yeah, yeah. You're going to see Stringer. Because I'm sure there's going to be times where Stringer wants to be Mr. Like, I work at H&R Block and fucking barks at us to be like, no! Literally. We work in a gang situation. We got to go kill
Starting point is 00:04:33 some... Were you just using H&R Block as like an off-the-cuff kind of example, or have you gotten to the part where he's working at H&R Block? Are you making that up? I just picked a random place, a random white-collar place to work. It's actually at Kinko's, but close enough.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Oh, I do see. Yeah, he's at Kinko's, and someone will come in and be trying to talk, and he'll be like, let me turn on this kind of a little bit loud machine, I guess. Not nearly loud enough to cover what we're saying, because now we're yelling over the sound of the copier.
Starting point is 00:05:08 So I have noticed that. It's an excellent show. I'm in season five now. Probably season five, episode one or two, something like that. It's a great show. It's fucking... I really like the dynamic where you go back and forth between the different
Starting point is 00:05:24 groups that are being covered that season. Most of the time, it's the Barksdale Crime Organization and the major crimes unit of the Baltimore Police Department. But as the seasons go on, they expand that. Not necessarily expand, but almost replace. There's a season where you're wondering like where are the barks dales what are they even up to and it's like yeah because we haven't we've given them 20 minutes of screen time the whole season because we've been focused on these dock workers yeah season two yeah oh i'm not looking forward to that it's more than 20 minutes uh i think kyle's not including... I almost did a little spoiler.
Starting point is 00:06:07 It's more than 20 minutes. It's substantially less, though, because it's really Baltimore Police Department and dock workers, and then the Barksdells definitely play a smaller role in what they're up to, because whenever you go back to them, you're like, oh, yeah, what are they up to? Let's catch up with Avon.
Starting point is 00:06:24 But by season three, that part of the show's over, Whenever you go back to them, you're like, oh yeah, what are they up to? Let's catch up with Avon. But by season three, that part of the show is over. I think season three, it's not schools because that's season four. It's the real estate one. I just watched it. Okay, yeah, a lot of real estate stuff with Stringer Bell that he's doing. Well, they're already setting the stage for that. Yeah, in season three, and this is okay to say, in season three, Stringer Bell is trying to sort of ascend from the drug trade
Starting point is 00:06:59 into the real estate trade. But the real estate trade in Baltimore has its own complications. You're bribing city officials and working with councilmen and getting permits. There are these consultants and contractors. Dirty politicians. Dirty politicians.
Starting point is 00:07:17 It's a tricky world to navigate to get shit done. Clay Davis is probably the nastiest character in the whole fucking show he's the state senator he goes shit have I met him yet? I guess not he's like a fat headed black guy
Starting point is 00:07:34 who's like real conniving oh no I've met him once yeah you've met him I don't like him yet nobody's gonna like him he's the least likable character in the whole show he's not gonna win you over you know who i felt bad for kind of is somehow it was like getting to be funny how often that one kid working in the pit who sits on a dirty gotta be sopping wet and
Starting point is 00:07:56 stinky moldy orange couch like that guy got the shit beat out of him i think a half dozen times in the first two episodes like half a dozen different individual scenes of him getting his ass kicked, sometimes subsequent scenes where he's in the hospital. Then he gets out. And the next time you see him is like that black and white cop drama buddy comedy duo will tackle him to the ground and beat the shit out of him again. Which one is this? He's the guy where the two rag. What's bode bode okay he's he's one of the main guys who's sitting on that orange couch out there yeah he hits a cop when that whenever the uh the the pd comes and does like a big raid in the oh yeah he hits a he hits the oldest whitest cop yeah that guy and there's a great
Starting point is 00:08:43 scene where like two white cops are beating the dog shit out of him with nightsticks, and he's on the ground. And all of a sudden, Kima, the African-American female cop, comes sprinting out of nowhere. She sees these two white men beating the dog shit out of this black child. And she's
Starting point is 00:09:00 like, you don't ever hit a cop! And she starts beating the shit out of him too. You're like, you see her sprinting with a super intense look on her face. You're like, oh, look out. The black lady's going to school these two white guys. She ain't no house cat, right? She has her own opinion.
Starting point is 00:09:17 She's not an indoor cop. He's like, you think you can hit a cop? And she's kicking the shit out of him. He's on the ground in a fetal position. And she's just, there think you can hit a cop? And she's kicking the shit out of him. He's on the ground in fetal position. And she's just... There's night sticks and kicks. She's all paralyzed in bed, talking all sad and quiet. But I liked her as a character.
Starting point is 00:09:36 She doesn't go away. Yeah, she's not going anywhere. I figured. She's great. I like her. She's got a good sex scene later on. She has a great sex. I watched that sex scene like real recently. I was like, the camera you get is from above and like a downward shot of a woman's shoulders
Starting point is 00:09:57 above and behind. And ass. And I was just like, I didn't realize that her girlfriend is smoking. That's not a girlfriend. Who is that? That's the woman that she's cheating on her girlfriend with. Well, good choice. Guys, spoilers.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Woody misplaced a character. I had to help. Yeah. I genuinely don't care about you. It's not a plot piece. She doesn't get caught. Double spoiler. She doesn't get caught. Double spoiler. She doesn't get caught.
Starting point is 00:10:26 It has nothing to do with anything, really. Well, you got to see her suck on some big old titties. Yes. I was watching it, and I was like, if that actress isn't gay, she pulls it off. She is now. Yeah, she's a big fan of titties.
Starting point is 00:10:42 They're all gay, right? They all kind of float around in there. Gay for the stay. I've never known a guy to get so drunk that he's just like, let's make out. I got so drunk I kissed Mark last night. On the dick.
Starting point is 00:10:57 My friend Alan and I got a little hot and heavy. Just some heavy petting. One too many Budweiser's. We get a little tipsy. We suck a little dick. Yeah. So anyway, The Wire, another show. Something that is terrible about The Wire.
Starting point is 00:11:12 The intro song doesn't make any goddamn sense. If you walk through the garden, better watch your back. That's something that Sopranos has. You know what HBO was struggling with in the early 2000s? Intro songs and intro sequences. Because the Sopranos and The Wire so far, top tits shows bottom of the barrel intros and intro songs.
Starting point is 00:11:35 It just doesn't vibe up with the feel of the show at all to me. I know something that you don't know about the intro song. It is exactly 90 seconds long. And this Plex server that i probably don't use has a 30 second fast forward tap tap tap and it goes right to this little quote that sets up the perfect intro yeah tap tap tap and then i just catch the very end of like you know they put a
Starting point is 00:12:01 quote right before the show starts yeah yeah. I kind of like getting that quote. Yeah. You have to read it quick if you triple tap it, but it works. Something I do, I like, I think you even brought this up at some point, Kyle, that it was written by a cop or a detective and so you got better, or at least he probably helped with concepts
Starting point is 00:12:21 and realism and stuff. Seeing the very overt underhandedness of some of the cops where it's just like oh we found some money well i mean obviously there's your bundle here's my bundle stuff it in oh we're you know what happened you know even the uh the the black guy who's in spartacus daniels has like yeah daniels i like that character The whites of his eyes are like Yellow There's a really good Funny or Die video
Starting point is 00:12:49 With him called Toys R Me Where he's like a Toys R Us manager But he's got the same attitude He's got in the wire He's like the wire character But he's running a Toys R Us Managing like 20 year old white guys It's hilarious I don old white guys it's hilarious
Starting point is 00:13:05 i don't know if it's season one or two this might be a bit of a spoiler but um at one point uh oh oh so they have a bad guy on tape saying there's like 30 000 but they turned in 20 and the detect the head guy who's in charge after the good-looking black guy, he's in shape. He's like, find that money. And they're like, we didn't take it. He's like, find it. And they're like, that's all there was. It turned out as they pulled the bag out of the trunk, it ripped, and there was something there.
Starting point is 00:13:38 But after the leader goes, they look at each other. And I think it's the white guy who has the line. But he's like, I wouldn't have stolen it without working with you like yeah you know like like if i were to steal okay i'd have stolen it that much is true but i but i just split it with you realize is like if i was in their situation and so fucking lutely yeah i'd steal that money i would have stolen way more than they stole Those guys out there haven't seen any of this money And there's plenty of stuff out there To incriminate them
Starting point is 00:14:10 We're taking all this I'm stuck 5 wads of cash I think you're doing it wrong I think you skim 5-10% tops Some amount that They don't know There ain't no drug dealer irs if if the drug
Starting point is 00:14:27 dealer says there's 150 grand in the in the safe and 135 140 shows up well maybe they were off right maybe they don't count their money that well cop doesn't get locked up if they say there's 150 grand in there and 50 shows up cops stole money this is a problem like someone you need a sustainable thievery plan taylor but i don't i don't think you you go after in big shots big shots taylor me and you me and your big shots we'll see in this one instance there no one else had seen the evidence yet they were the only ones in the bedroom and they'd flipped it over. And because they both already
Starting point is 00:15:07 have shit on the other one, I feel like they could have easily been like, no, we could split all this. And it's clearly a scenario where when you do get caught, it's clearly a scenario where it's already been proven that when you do get caught, someone goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, you bring that back.
Starting point is 00:15:21 How much was it again that I needed to bring back? And all of it! Yeah, and how much was it again that i needed to be bringing back and all of it yeah and how much was all of it again five thousand because i keep the money that i borrow from the drug dealers with my own personal money i just cash my checks you know how it is i keep them all in big wads they were taking good amounts of money i don't know how much this much money is but it seems like 20 grand maybe yeah and street money yeah yeah it was an amount of money that i would have been very tempted by i i think 120 grand packet every two weeks is plenty enough to grease the skids of life oh if you're knocking them down every two weeks, let's go. If I'm making $40,000 a month
Starting point is 00:16:05 extra, and you're saying that's 5% My advice to you is not to make $100,000 extra. That's too much, Taylor. You said score twice a month for $20,000 a piece. Yeah, yeah. Stop there. That's my advice.
Starting point is 00:16:21 Oh, okay. So keep it under wraps. In a new car like hey uh you know we pay you 38 000 right that's it it's interesting to watch i watched uh mark rober a couple videos of him today you guys you probably know him but you might not know him by name uh maybe you've seen his 80 million view video where he did a Christmas package glitter bomb and it made fart spray. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:49 This guy's a wildly popular YouTuber. It seems like he can't make a video that gets less than 20 or 30 thousand. I'm sorry, million views. And I was watching one today and his house is modest for a guy that I estimated his income, he probably makes about $2 million a year off of like brand deals and YouTube at least. And I don't think he's moved. And I think there's something wholesome about that,
Starting point is 00:17:16 that he's making $2 million a year and living on a quarter acre plot with a picket fence and his kids have the same friends they used to. And it was kind of neat i don't know how long he'll stay there but uh you know whatever these youtubers make a buck and then buy some big house they're assholes right roasted uh but yeah i don't know i was watching him in his in his it's the same old house and i think that based on his videos you can only tell so much but old wife same old kid whenever he uh he did
Starting point is 00:17:46 like a is it what's it called elephant snot elephant foam you guys are you familiar with this i'm not at all okay well you mix two things together and a colorful foam shoots out oh yeah and uh i think it might be called elephant snot but i'm not sure anyway he does it on a grand scale in his swimming pool and it fills the entire yard and i think mark rober it's spelled like robber but with one b and uh he does another one where he fills his pool up and makes jello which apparently is a complication because jello doesn't usually work well at room temperature so he invents room temperature jello before he was a youtuber he worked for nasa and put robots on mars and uh he's a pretty neat guy and i think he lives in the same place i presume so his kids have the same friends and he goes to the same school because it's pretty clear he could live anywhere he wanted to huh man who leaves nasa
Starting point is 00:18:46 uh i suspect because his youtube channel was blowing up that nasa was half of his time and five percent of his income makes sense and i wonder i wonder what kind of perks you get working at nasa probably not that great compared to other branches of government. They don't even hardly go into space anymore. They're fresh out of Nazis. So progress has stalled. They're outsourcing more than they ever did. I don't know if that's working out.
Starting point is 00:19:19 I know NASA's mad at Elon Musk for not hitting deadlines. But Elon Musk is like, that's kind of normal in space travel. Let's not act like NASA hit every deadline. If we have the best space program on Earth, how are we going to get better by outsourcing? To SpaceX? There's a new space vehicle coming soon. Their funding got drastically cut.
Starting point is 00:19:46 It's been drastically cut many times. Like the space shuttle was never plan A. It was plan B after their budget was cut once. And then when their budget was cut again, it made the space shuttle like not viable anymore. It wasn't as cost effective as they'd hoped it would be, even with the reusability. But still, their funding got cut again. as cost effective as they'd hoped it would be even with the reusability but still they're
Starting point is 00:20:06 finally got cut again so we've been going to the fucking russians and getting them to blast us into space to send us to the space station and shit uh for years oh that's embarrassing yeah you know that yeah no that's i don't actually keep up on space news i I'm sorry. But yeah, Kyle told it perfectly. The next space vehicle is coming five years or something like that. I wonder if it's a reusable rocket. I think it's... I know the last thing I looked at
Starting point is 00:20:36 was a plane that could take off, go to space, and come back. That's what the sales... You seem to know this already. That's what the sales pitch for the space know this already, that's what the sales pitch for the space shuttles were. It's basically a reusable rocket. It was supposed to be
Starting point is 00:20:49 as cost effective as a plane. Not the cheapest thing, but way cheaper than a rocket. Rockets, they just let burn upon reentry all the time, whereas the space shuttle, you reuse it. It turns out,
Starting point is 00:21:01 reusing the space shuttle is quite the chore. There was a whole lot of checking and it wasn't like a plane where you just do an hour-long pre-flight and use it again so yeah and we lost a couple we did we did challenger and uh discovery maybe discovery might be the one that uh exploded on fucking television while we watched it re-enter i uh yeah challenger challenger exploded um like right on takeoff right yeah okay take off launch whatever i remember both of those the one of them i was a kid and it happened to be a snow day in new jersey so there was no school and uh it was still like
Starting point is 00:21:40 you know going to space people are going to space today let's i don't think i was watching it live as much as i was like aware that it was happening like you know like today's election day i'm not going to sit there and watch the the results all day long but i'm aware that today is a big day yeah and uh then it blew up and of course they played the replay like once a minute for the next day and you just saw it again and again and again and at first you're watching a firework and then you realize you're watching a death and then you realize you're watching like half a dozen deaths and um yeah that one lady wasn't even like military she was a fucking school teacher yep yep it was crazy and then the other one that blew up, it wasn't too long after 9-11. Was it Columbia?
Starting point is 00:22:29 Yeah, Space Shuttle Columbia, 2003. Okay. And yes, 2003 would be two years after 9-11, I think. So 9-11 was so fresh in my head. And a lot of people that were like, did they hit us with a Stinger missile? Did they do this? Did they do that? And the people are like, well, don't quote my numbers, but it was going 250,000 miles an hour
Starting point is 00:22:49 and six miles into space. And no, no, it wasn't Al-Qaeda. They're more box cutter type technology. Sniping out our fucking space stations with AKs. Right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:04 It turned out that that was a dumb thought but a lot of people had it not just me it makes sense back in the like what do you think right you know two years after after 9-11 happens of course you're going to kind of be on edge with like really really i don't know the capabilities of a stinger missile they take out 747s like i didn't really recognize the speed and height difference in a space shuttle although it seems obvious in hindsight yeah yeah those fuckers are going going quick they are and they're going high that i knew about i just didn't know how high they were how fast do you think they go kyle the space shuttle 17 000 miles per um
Starting point is 00:23:44 17,000 miles per... I wanted to say second. When they're in the vacuum of space, when they're in space, it's either 17,000 miles per second or 17,000 miles per hour. I realize there is an enormous difference. I don't... A fast space shuttle...
Starting point is 00:23:59 I don't know how to measure it exactly, right? Like, the space shuttle could stand still and be traveling 17,000 miles an hour in reference to the Earth. It's an hour. It's an hour. 17,500 miles per hour, yeah. Miles per second, I was trying to think that it would just be like, wouldn't we be constantly
Starting point is 00:24:16 experiencing just concussing sonic booms? Well, it doesn't travel that... Well, there aren't sonic booms in space because there's no atmosphere. You're right. And 70,000 miles per second would be one-tenth almost the speed of light.
Starting point is 00:24:31 So that's just stupid. I mean, I don't know why that was in my head, but it's about 17,000 miles per hour relative to anything. It's not just against our orbit or anything like that. Relative to the galactic center, however you would figure that out that's how fast that motherfucker's traveling
Starting point is 00:24:48 what's a 747? probably like 5-600 miles an hour? like 650-700 miles an hour yeah so not nearly it's much much 747? like 550-650 yeah that's a deep dive I haven't done before.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Fastest things. I watched a great video the other day about fastest military planes. They went up the ladder. Most of them are American planes. The SR-71, not the fastest plane by far. It was the second fastest. The SR-71, not the fastest plane by far. There's this. It was the second fastest.
Starting point is 00:25:31 It was part of the Air Force and NASA's joint cooperative program to make this X-plane. And it went like 6,500 miles per hour in atmosphere. Like Mach 6, maybe? I don't know. It was really fucking fast. It was almost double. It may have been double the SR-71 or maybe even more it starts to blur the line if i know that craft between plane and rocket ship though like you say it's an atmosphere but it's so high in the atmosphere that it's very very
Starting point is 00:25:56 thin air it flies in and i don't think it can launch from the ground right they put it on the underbelly of some other plane then release it it? I'm not sure about that, but perhaps. And that's how they always get the speed records, right? They go as high as the plane can go, where the air is thinner. And the Mach levels are lower there, too, with lower air density. I hadn't thought about that. Breaking the sound barrier at sea level is much more difficult than breaking the sound barrier at 80,000 feet.
Starting point is 00:26:27 Are they different speeds, though? I didn't know that. They have to be. Definitely the air is thicker down low. I'm not sure. There's no way to find out. It's impossible. But I'm not sure if the speed is... When I was at Lockheed Martin, you see.
Starting point is 00:26:45 When I had my, albeit brief, tenure there. That school trip in 94 taught me a lot about the aerospace technologies, and I got to say. Yeah. I've always been fascinated with space. I wish that we were doing stuff up there. It's kind of hard to do. Star Trek, because it goes so goddamn fast,
Starting point is 00:27:08 it's like, hey, let's look at this moon. Oh, that was cool. Now zip over here and look at that planet. Oh, cool. I like that too. But we're so goddamn slow. It's like, all right. If we really plan for the next 20, 30 years,
Starting point is 00:27:22 maybe we can spend six to eight months going to one planet. The closest one. Yeah. We might live. It's like, fuck. Now granted, that's also assuming stable economic conditions for the next 20 to 30 years
Starting point is 00:27:36 for consistent funding and all sorts. And also like political backing, right? All it takes is the next president to come in and be a fucking Nixon and be like, I don't want to do all this. And there was other stuff like, I don't remember where I was reading it, but where it's like
Starting point is 00:27:52 it's almost an ironic problem where it's like you start working on something that's a 20, 30 year project, you get eight years in and it's like, well, shit. Now a lot of the stuff that we used is kind of outdated that we initially started with. And it doesn't make sense because we were anticipating new technologies coming between now and the completion of the project. So we kind of have to retroactively change a bunch.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Does that kind of make sense? Yeah. Yeah. I'm passing. It's like you get 14 years into a 30 year project. The shit you used 12 years ago isn't going to be up to stuff. The distances are way more vast than you commonly think of right uh i've talked about this before i was at cisco and uh cisco was
Starting point is 00:28:33 working with the u.s government and they use cisco technology for their communications to satellites and stuff like that so mars for example uh With all the stuff we have here on Earth, if a packet takes like three quarters of a second to get somewhere, something's gone wrong, right? You can almost consider that a lost packet. And, you know, if you double it just for safety's sake, second and a half, something's fucked, send it again. It went off. To Mars, speed of light, three and a half something's fuck send it again it went it went off to mars speed of light three and a half minutes and it's like fuck nothing works nothing works like we thought it did uh the amount of packets that just get lost and dropped and didn't or mangled on the way over was way higher and they had all these challenges on how to use the stuff that we're used to in the super low
Starting point is 00:29:22 reliability high latency environment. It was neat to hear about it, but three and a half minutes for the speed of light. Shit. I thought light was really fast. Like it would get to Mars in a snap, but I 186,000 miles per second. That's how fast light is.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Yeah. That's how far away Mars is. It's incalculable. It's I don't know. So many miles. Yeah. I wonder if I'm right about that. I think I'm right about that.
Starting point is 00:29:52 We'll see. Someone will check me. The only way I would know would be from that fucking Matt Damon movie. Mars, right? Mars. Or the Martian. Oh, the Martian. That is what it was called.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Shit. It would have been funnier if it was Mars. That's a great fucking movie. I've seen that a few times. Andy Weir wrote that book. If you ever want to read a good book, that's a good one. I've heard it's good. I've only seen the movie. I saw it twice.
Starting point is 00:30:19 I saw it at the theater with Chiz, actually. Then when it came out, I was watching it at home with my family. And the opening scene of The Martian, there's a bunch of people on Mars. They have like a colony is an exaggeration, right? They have a little habitat there for a few people. And there's some sort of bad storm. Anyway, I've got the volume up because I am ready to like experience this.
Starting point is 00:30:45 My whole family is like too loud, too loud. Don't touch that volume bitches. We are going to feel the thunder of this scene. I don't want you to feel it. And I think I'm the only one who enjoyed that scene at that volume. But, but some,
Starting point is 00:31:01 some people like, even when you're watching a movie, some people will be like, that's their secondary part of their entertainment for the evening. They're going to try to have a fucking conversation. I always, just to shame them, I pause the movie and I'm like, okay, now your conversation is 100%.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Let's see if you can carry that. Oh, you're done? Can we go back to the movie? I hate that. If you want to like like he was in gladiator right yeah yeah did he get the hair lip fixed or is he just oh i see it now okay okay that's fine that's fine but if you want to have a whole you know his brother was river phoenix river river phoenix that's. Would you just shut up? I'm glad you said the first one was fine.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Because I'm not perfect, but I'm better than that. Here's what I might do. That's the girlfriend, right? Yes. Thanks. Right? I just need a little help. I think people never forget a face.
Starting point is 00:32:02 I do. I fucking forget faces all the time. I don't have that gift. My dad came over. My girlfriend is a serial movie talker. Too much of that. And these reminders of, you know, we're in the middle of something. Or the thing where it's like they ask you after talking to you.
Starting point is 00:32:23 It'd be like me being like, hey, kyle did you know they're also uh in uh they were in freaks and geeks uh before he got into those judd apatow movies have you ever watched that show that was a good show it was only around for one season though unfortunately but you can look how young and not fat seth rogan is what oh this movie where i'm talking over who's that character and you have to be like i'm being introduced to them as well i don't know who that character is like she'll pull that on me do you want my best who is this who's the she is it your girlfriend we're talking about my girlfriend yeah i'll have to be like you know i'm guessing he's a bad guy he's got a very deep v-neck and he's in good shape and scary sunglasses and he pulled up in a nice car. Are you asking for my best approximation?
Starting point is 00:33:06 Yeah. My dad came over and we watched two things. We watched The Joker and we watched The Tiger King while he was over. Tiger King's a lot of content. We didn't get all the way through it. We watched probably six episodes or something,
Starting point is 00:33:22 which is still a lot of content. He was just like, this is too ridiculous to be real these people are ridiculous i was like it hasn't even gotten to the crazy shit yet man people are gonna die all right people are going away to prison for years how can it get more crazy i'm like yeah you see that guy right there with no fucking teeth he's gonna kill himself essentially on camera oh why i wasn't the one it was the yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the young guy oh dad got misinformed it doesn't matter it's one of the snap one of the redneck keep it a child brides of the snap one of the redneck child brides of the tiger one of the redneck child brides is the greatest description of him ever what was that kid like uh he 19 years
Starting point is 00:34:13 he was 19 i think when he like showed up at the at the tiger ranch or whatever and uh there's a part where he's doing an interview and it's you know it's old footage from like six years before his death or some shit because and he's just like you know uh never had really seen anything like this before you know never really had left home you know and uh well i've learned a lot of things since i've been here though and there's an awkward pause where they keep the camera rolling he's just like and there's just an awkward pause where they keep the camera rolling he's just like you're just like ah sucking dick on a lion farm the power of the lord works in mysterious ways the power of joe exotic's persuasion was shocking impressive unbelievable to me. You know, neither of those child brides stayed gay, right? Like, they weren't even gay.
Starting point is 00:35:10 He convinced them to have three-way orgies on the regular. He convinced them to suck his dick. He convinced them of who knows what, and they weren't gay. That's persuasive. The who knows what thing is very important because you know what they found in the Tiger King's attic, right? No. Help me.
Starting point is 00:35:32 Oh my. They found a realistic sized tiger that was taxidermied. But you can get inside of it. and there's a butthole flap now a little bit of furry action maybe maybe that's that's if you're not thinking too hard about about other
Starting point is 00:35:57 possibilities though taylor maybe they wheel this thing out there like like that one second before Taylor figured out where he was going yeah there's an old like I don't know what gross a tale about a king's wife who couldn't be pleased and so
Starting point is 00:36:21 they built like a bull or a cow or whatever for her to get inside of so that she'd get fucked by a bull. And anyway, I think that's what might have been what was going on there. Like maybe. Is that where that term comes from, bull? Sure. I choose to believe it.
Starting point is 00:36:40 So it's possible that one or all of these gentlemen is getting in there and they're getting railed by a fucking tiger. Now you know it's your turn in the tiger. I'm not giving you your meth until you get in the fucking tiger. See, you're saying he was so convincing. I think it was the meth that was really convincing where it's like oh you're 19 years old you ever tried drugs no you're gonna love it you're gonna love it here it's free you know i can keep doing this for you if you suck me off if you play with my dick if you get in my my tiger outfit and let me watch you get fucked by a tiger so you know i think that's probably likely
Starting point is 00:37:21 probably like i guess you have to know your audience, right? I wouldn't do that for meth. No. No, I don't think I would do that. It would take a tremendous amount of money for me to pretend to be gay with Joe Exotic on his tiger ranch. No, you know what? I'm going to go ahead and say I wouldn't agree to it.
Starting point is 00:37:40 I would not agree to pretend to be gay with Joe Exotic on his tiger farm. No matter how much money. No, that's a lie too yeah it's like how much money there is an amount right they're gonna be like all the cats you won't yeah there's an amount there's an amount where i'll not only do it i'll do it like this the entire time and i will be the gayest person that's ever set foot on that tiger farm. Woody, you wouldn't let a tiger fuck you? I'll take Carol Baskin myself. Woody, the world's first trillionaire? Yeah, I would.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Yeah, it would take like a Bezos amount of money. Goddamn Carol Baskin. At what point does money stop mattering? Like a billion is so much money. More than you could spend. Maybe before a billion. The difference between one billion and two billion. It depends.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Not important. We've talked about this before. There are things that cost many hundreds of millions that are pretty fucking cool and are essentially much better than the things that only cost $100 million. Some of those yachts. You're thinking of yachts? Yeah. The thing with the yachts.
Starting point is 00:38:42 And islands. I'm outside my expertise, but I don't want the things I own to be a job. Now, I know you don't have that job. You have someone who has that job, right? Yeah. But still, ultimately, you're in charge of some guy that's in charge of keeping that island running. And it's a task. No. that's in charge of keeping that island running. And it's a task. No, you're in charge of the guy who's in charge of the guy
Starting point is 00:39:07 who's in charge of the guy who's in charge of the island. Once you've got hundreds and hundreds of billions, there's a whole hierarchy here. There are multiple corporations in play. I might rather just be in charge of the guy who rents someone else's island for me. You think that little guy dancing on TV worries about if the
Starting point is 00:39:25 Batman ride is going to work this summer? No! He's just raking in the big bucks. That's true. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- He has to be. If he's not, I mean, I'm shot in the dark here, but he's probably dead. It's very hard to reach me with commercials. He was very spry. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:50 Or who knows? Maybe it was a Johnny Knoxville kind of jackass one kind of thing where it was a spry young man. Have you ever seen the weightlifting, the version where the heavy-duty weightlifting guy goes under the Johnny Knoxville makeup and then goes to Muscle Beach? It's hilarious. You want to watch it?
Starting point is 00:40:09 It's like a short YouTube video. I saw a video lately with Eddie Hall talking about the 2017 world championships. Have you seen that? Negative. Apparently there's, I know while you're looking this up, there was a controversy over who the real winner is,
Starting point is 00:40:26 him or the Mountain for the 2017 World Strongman Championship. You haven't paced anything yet, have you? No, I'm talking stamping. And they showed, basically they disqualified. He won by one point. And the Mountain did a press that they didn't count. Bent his knees. Okay, you're familiar with this.
Starting point is 00:40:52 So it was new information to me. And the Mountain felt very wronged. And Eddie Hall theorizes that he had so many people telling him he was wrong that it got in his head and he thinks it's true. So he got the ref and they got the tape and to my eyes it was very clear the mountain did not have legal pushes or presses i should say uh as a matter of fact you could have knocked off four of them they were generous with him and then you look at eddie hall's footage he was obeying the rules eddie hall was just better at that exercise.
Starting point is 00:41:26 That's how it went down. All right. So this video is from Thrillist, and it's called Old Man and Strength. You know what I'm shocked by, just real quick, is I was right. That old man dancing around in the Six Flags commercials is a 45-year-old actor as of 2020. Wearing a bunch of makeup. So that explains why he was so spry. The more you know. The more you know. I probably forgot
Starting point is 00:41:52 how to change a tire to learn that. Are we ready? Yeah, 24 seconds. Ready, set, play. Normally we'd probably use like a vinyl cap but it's gonna be stronger old school latex strong stronger is probably better for what i'm gonna be doing we're gonna torture test this makeup feels like i'm getting a gnarly facelift my eyebrows are being pulled into the back of my skull i saw a similar one where the guy was like a calisthenics
Starting point is 00:42:22 guru and uh he was maybe this is it he's an old man who does rings and stuff showtime showtime he's got the walk his hands are too young looking they need to throw a liver spot on there How are you doing? Good, how are you? Great! Alright. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Starting point is 00:42:57 na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na What an intimidating place to work out. Right? Yeah. Young man, what supplements do you take? I love my creatine. You know what I use? What do you use, man? Prune juice. Need to warm up. Lifting your khakis?
Starting point is 00:43:16 How you doing? Better than jeans. Do you mind if I try this? Love it. Please. You can tell he's pretty strong under there, though. Yeah, I think so. You can tell he's pretty strong under there though. Three flights. Oh, for this guy that's very little.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Oh, it's not a deadlift We need to press the press. That's a good amount to me. I agree. That's a lot That's really one-handed 135 over your head. Yeah You picked the way. Oh, you're talking my language now. Getting a little Hispanic. Let's put those 45s on. Those weren't 25s, though. They were like 45s. I think you said 45. Oh, I misheard it there.
Starting point is 00:44:35 My balls. My balls. How many people still believe that he's 80? Right? Right? Okay, come on. Thank you, everybody. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Thank you very much. That's not the one that I was... There's another one that's calisthenics. You know those guys, they go to the... It's a park like that out in the open, but there's bars like a jungle gym almost. And they do flagpoles and other weird... The suspension and stuff difficult yeah like muscle ups or a silly little warm-up to these things and uh he goes out there he looks old he can barely
Starting point is 00:45:33 move and progressively he works his way into more and more advanced maneuvers until eventually the guy he's doing them with they're kind of like one-upping each other. He's like, wait a minute. I know you. Because I think he did maybe like, my interpretation is it was a signature move for him. You know, something not many people are doing. And it's like, oh, you're the guy who does that. I know you. The pummel cock master.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Right. I had no idea. Pummel cock. Now you're talking my language. Yeah, that's funny. I've never seen those videos. Yeah, I like that that shit i like anything where you've got like an undercover pro who like uh blows people's expectations that one's definitely had the youtube influencer edit job done to it like if you if you go back and look at um like listen to the crowd and then realize like nobody's
Starting point is 00:46:21 cheering it's just like generic baseball game noise cheer. They're just piping. No one's out there like, in such concentration that it's just caused a new white noise that is cheering. There's a few people...
Starting point is 00:46:39 This is how we cheer in 2020. This is 2020 cheering. Yeah. Watch that. You're right. Nobody was yelling and screaming and clapping. And, but as soon as it panned over to him,
Starting point is 00:46:52 it was a fucking carnival. Kyle's right. Right off screen. When you make content, you view content a little differently. One thing that gets me is reality show arguments, right? Have you ever worn a lab?
Starting point is 00:47:04 I know Kyle has, but when you have like a wireless lav mic on you, it's a very intentional thing. They tape it up. It's pulling your chest hair. There's special care taken to make sure that when your shirt rubs on it, it doesn't make noise. You've got the battery pack, usually in the small of your back, all day long. There's a crew asking for mic checks. They didn't put it inside you? They said that was normal.
Starting point is 00:47:25 They put it in your prison pocket, of course. So many angles on that box. And they usually do like mic checks and ask you to say things like during breaks and stuff throughout the day. And you're just very aware. Then I look at the camera angles. Now, if it's security footage footage I might kind of possibly maybe believe that they just got comfortable wearing a lav mic but if there's a cameraman with a steadicam there switching from one guy to the other as you yell at each other you're putting on a show and it
Starting point is 00:47:57 makes me completely not believe most of reality tv anymore yeah most reality tv has always been fake frankly um like it's it's I it's one of the reasons I just like it so much at least scripted most of reality TV anymore. Yeah, most reality TV has always been fake, frankly. It's one of the reasons I just like it so much. At least scripted TV doesn't pretend to be real. Yeah, yeah. And then reality TV can have an element of real. Maybe they haven't predetermined which person wins the survivor challenge to get the little pass,
Starting point is 00:48:22 but a lot of the arguments and stuff are drummed up you know sure yeah yeah i like that old survivor where they got him up on the totem poles and they make him get naked for peanut butter and oreos you ever see that one i don't remember that they've got all these hot chicks who are even more hotter because they've been starved for a month and uh and they're all standing on these like foam poles that are stuck out in the water. Dudes too. And Jeff, what's his name? Jeff Probst or something like that.
Starting point is 00:48:50 Sounds right. Comes out with things to tempt them. See, last person standing gets immunity, right? That's always their deal. Who wants a plate of Oreos and a whole bowl of peanut butter? And if you can imagine after like being essentially starved for a month, that sounds so good.
Starting point is 00:49:11 It's so calorie dense. You know, you eat that, you're full today. You need those fats. You need that sugar. I've been eating white rice and water for weeks. And you're doing the math. You're like, I'm top four. But I think there's like a three percent chance i actually
Starting point is 00:49:25 beat kyle and get first so maybe get the peanut butter you know like so he has them get naked for food and i think it's i don't think they could do it today because these hot ass chicks are like looking at each other and like just stripping down either topless but then but then like it has to the bottoms have to come off at one point if you want everything. They're just getting naked up there and the dudes are just like, I'm glad I stayed out here. Mark fucked up.
Starting point is 00:49:53 What is it called when someone makes their own lines? Ad-lib. Yeah. I choose to believe that was all ad-lib by pros. You know what? If you want a cookie, I want to see your pussy. Or improv. Improv works.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Yeah, yeah. Like all the producers and cameramen are like, wait, what? Naked? That wasn't part of the plan, but good plan. Roll with it. Part of my plan.
Starting point is 00:50:16 It's the only reason I'm here. Yeah, that was a great, that was a great episode of Survivor. It's on YouTube somewhere without the nudity or you can definitely find the uncensored version somewhere. the first winner lost all his money i
Starting point is 00:50:27 think he went to prison yeah tax evasion taxes yeah that guy was um he was a little shady but it was it so there i don't know if you remember you might have been youngish but uh he won survivor and the first season of survivor everybody thought it was about how good you were at camping. Going into it. Who can find water? Who can find clean water? Who's disciplined enough to only drink clean water? Who can catch protein sources?
Starting point is 00:50:59 Stuff like that. If I recall, they had unlimited rice. But I might be off on that. If I recall, they had unlimited rice, but I might be off on that. Anyway, the guy that won Survivor, he was actually a rat. He was a guy who was good at manipulating other people.
Starting point is 00:51:14 He was an overweight gay man in his late 30s. Yeah, but he was, he made the right allies in the show and he made the right enemies in the show and he made the right enemies in the show. He convinced people that partnering with them was in their best interest
Starting point is 00:51:30 and backstab them at the right time. And then the end was so good. You know, the last vote was going to be cast and she goes, you're a snake and you're a rat. And so I have to choose between a snake and a rat. And then she just had this whole speech about the snake and the rat. And at least with the snake, I know what I'm getting into.
Starting point is 00:51:55 And I'm pretty sure she picked, I can't remember his name, Jeff? It might have been Jeff or something. I don't remember for sure. But, yeah, she felt like the one liar was at least up front about the fact that he was being a manipulative cunt whereas the other guy was kind of acting like like like i've got your best interests in mind and she felt more deceived by that than the guy who you know was obviously playing for himself like hey this is a win-win we're're both going to advance. Anyway, and then you could argue,
Starting point is 00:52:28 successfully I might think, that the game of Survivor is about modern-day survival skills, right? To succeed in this world isn't really about finding clean water anymore. To get ahead in today's world, the goal isn't to catch piglets
Starting point is 00:52:47 as they scurry around. It's to work with people. It's to build the right alliances. And maybe this guy is a survivor. We just thought he was going to... We thought primitive survival skills were the trick. It's actually modern day survival skills.
Starting point is 00:53:03 I had no problem with him winning. He was the best. I watched that first season from beginning to end because it was huge. Season one survival was Oh yeah. Everyone was watching. It was a cultural event. A lot of people were choosing for their primitive survival skills. I think one might have been a Navy SEAL or something like
Starting point is 00:53:20 that. They were just really good at camping. That was the point. Turned out that wasn't the point one of my favorite contestants ever and it was like 20 years ago and so i was obviously 20 years younger but i remember like it actually so one and upset me where it was like when like kyle said there was like a green beret or some kind of guy who like i thought was the coolest because everybody was just being a little bitch and he's just out there like day day one second one of hour one it's just in the woods looking for a pig like we're not dipping into this we're gonna get other food and make sure this is like a reserve amount like like taking charge and then like when he got voted
Starting point is 00:53:58 off because like those conniving you know assholes behind him were like, well, with him around, everyone knows who the alpha is, but we get rid of him, it's anyone's game here. Yes. Ten-year-old me was like, this fucking sucks, dude. That's why you've got to win immunity. You've got to win every single challenge or you have to manipulate. It's one or the other.
Starting point is 00:54:19 My favorite contestant ever was, I believe, I'm pretty sure he was ex-military. I don't remember what season it was. Maybe season three through five, somewhere in there, in the golden years. And this guy caught a pig and murdered it with a fucking bamboo spear he made. And it was gory and bloody. And the women are just like, oh, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:54:44 And they're interviewing them. And the one woman is like, oh, oh my God. And they're interviewing them. And the one woman is like, I don't give a shit. We haven't bacon tonight. All right. These bitches need to wake up, wake up. And, uh, and so he's like making a fire to cook the pig, or maybe it's like a fire that has nothing to do with the pig. I remember meeting the eyeballs.
Starting point is 00:55:00 Anyway, he's making the fire and he's doing that maneuver where you bend down low and you blow on embers and really get the thing going. Well, he inhales instead of exhales, takes a big lung full of smoke and it knocks him unconscious. He passes out headfirst into his fire. His hands go into the fire and get third degree burns all over them in the like 10, 15 seconds that he's unconscious. More than just his palms, I think. Like it's pretty bad. Fingers, palms, the whole hand. and get third-degree burns all over them in the 10, 15 seconds that he's unconscious. More than just his palms, I think. It's pretty bad.
Starting point is 00:55:29 Fingers, palms, the whole hand. They are degloved, essentially. The skin is sloughing off and hanging like he's that guy from RoboCop who crashed into the big vat of acid. He runs and jumps into the creek, the water source, because he's trying to get some relief from the pain in his hands. And when he comes out, the water's dripping and you think it's water. You're like, well, that water must be thick. Oh no, that's his hand skin.
Starting point is 00:55:57 That's his hand skin just dripping off of him. And they had like bandage his hands up in a way that was almost comical. Like he looked like something from a fucking movie. And like when, like when George burnt his hand on that iron in that episode when he was trying to be a hand model. They were ridiculously bandaged up. And he has to quit. He's off the island. It was like, well, this is my guy.
Starting point is 00:56:16 And immediately... He's also, in 2016, was charged with child porn. Shit! Shit! Shit! What an interesting cast of characters here.
Starting point is 00:56:31 Shit! Are you charged? Michael Scoopkin? Michael Shoopkin, yeah. I'm looking through his legal troubles. Improper license plate. Okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:56:45 Ponzi scheme. All right, we're growing here. Five counts of larceny by conversion and racketeering. All right, he's really stepping it up. I don't see. Oh, here it is. He was found guilty of four out of six child pornography counts. Shit.
Starting point is 00:57:03 guilty of four out of six child pornography counts. Shit. You know, it seems like they could get rid of the part about lacking proof of insurance in this character. The child porn is more than enough. Improper license plate, to me, was the weakest one. That was right before proof of insurance. Who parlayed that into child porn. I'm pretty sure mine's been improper literally since it's been on
Starting point is 00:57:28 the car because of the decal I have around it. Plenty of law enforcement has looked at my license plate, but they never made a big deal about that. It's ridiculous that this is on this child molester's rap sheet. How bad are his birds?
Starting point is 00:57:46 I could find the clip of it. I just saw it immediately after it happened, and it looked horrific. Yeah, I don't... And I bet he... He didn't even get to come back to the competition, right? No. Actually, he was on the 2012 25th season of Survivor. Was that his only season?
Starting point is 00:58:13 Because they bring people back a lot. He was brought back for that one. His first season was in 2000. So 12 years later, they brought him back. Which implies to me his hands recovered pretty well. To hear Kyle describe the skin dripping off, I thought maybe there were only bones left and they had to amputate.
Starting point is 00:58:30 Well, they didn't really recover well enough to masturbate to child pornography. I had that same joke in my head. There you go. Wow. Now he's on a KOS list in a federal prison probably. See all these new terms I know.
Starting point is 00:58:48 He's PC now. Yeah. But he's doing well in there though. He's crafting all sorts of ramen noodle blades and killing prison rats. No, he's probably not doing well. No, not at all.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Maybe he's in that only use me blade prison with other child molesters. He's probably not doing well. No, not at all. Maybe he's in that Only Use Me Blade prison with other child molesters, and he's just the most famous. As long as Jared Fogle isn't there, he's the most famous of all the child molesters. He's out of prison. Oh. Yeah, December 19th, 2017.
Starting point is 00:59:17 He served one year. Let's get him as a guest. You know what? That's not a terrible idea. We could definitely get this guy. Like pump him up about Survivor. We do this little pre-show thing when Woody's like,
Starting point is 00:59:31 we need all four people in the call so Woody can get everybody squared up and everything, make it look right, do a little audio check. There's five to ten minutes of that minimum. Sometimes it's literally an hour of fixing people's microphones and internet connections. Usually that's not my fault. They arrive
Starting point is 00:59:47 with no mic. It's not on Woody. It's on the guest. But I can just imagine having him on there and we're pre-gaming and we're like, ah, we all love Survivor. This is a Survivor podcast. Remember Joanna? And the naked totem pole thing? Yeah, that was great. And we get him like, so
Starting point is 01:00:03 you're a child molester just immediately have a seat over here surviving on an island any thoughts about the kids struggling to survive in your fun tapes wow so there was that scene where the women got naked for peanut butter and oreos did that motivate you inspire you perhaps to make this video and then we play a clip of the child we got into bad idea territory roll the child porn all of us are getting let into prison one day and we're like no we we were exposing another guy.
Starting point is 01:00:45 Your Honor, do you understand what a bit is? Everyone queue up at two minutes and 30 seconds. That's when she starts to cry. Mr. Miles, for the final time, we are not queuing up the bit. Wait, taxpayer money going to waste again. Look at that projector they got. I got all this child porn laid out on the table. Come on.
Starting point is 01:01:09 I time stamped it and everything. Jesus Christ. I hate working with amateurs. Yeah, that would be funny. Collecting those child tears like Hannibal, that Hannibal villain version. That's the next show you should watch is Hannibal the TV show. I haven't watched that. That's good.
Starting point is 01:01:28 I know we passed an hour but I'm caught up on Rick and Morty. Are you? Yes. Last two episodes in my opinion, like this is the thing that happens to YouTubers. If their videos stay the same, if they're not like improving in some way,
Starting point is 01:01:44 they're kind of falling off. And that to me is what's happening to Rick and Morty. I think that the last two episodes would have been normal. Like not the good ones, but like a regular one in season one and two. But somehow they have to pass that and make it more monumental to still be on. Where they're fucking up in my opinion
Starting point is 01:02:03 is they're still doing the south park model where they sit around and think of a silly premise and then build a show around it um where even south park at this point is still making like what 15 or 20 episodes a season they used to make over 20 and now it might be like 12 to 15 but it's still not fucking 10 and south park does one every fucking year they've got that 10 on on point and then they make another one in seven fucking days every fucking seven days no matter what and they're always at least like a six and a half seven or better a lot of times they knock it out of the park they've already fallen to that model of like look hey what if
Starting point is 01:02:42 rick fucks a planet yeah rick fucks a planet let's make a whole episode about that it of like, look, Hey, what if Rick fucks a planet? Yeah. Rick fucks a planet. Let's make a whole episode about that. It's like, no, you're still in your building phase. You should be expanding on Rick's backstory. You should be like, they made fun of it in that episode with the time train,
Starting point is 01:02:56 the timeline train where like they showed you all the things that fans ask for. And then they literally make fun of them. Like, Oh, we're not going to do an episode about evil Mort morty even though we did like four episodes teasing it and it's what everyone wants to see and is very interested in it's like don't act like you're better than making that episode when the truth is you don't know how to make that episode perfect yeah i agree entirely i think lots of like take a mash right i think I've gone way too old on the TV shows.
Starting point is 01:03:26 I watch so much MASH. Clinger. Okay, then you know MASH. I don't know if our audience will, but they would have, you know, conflict of the day, a little problem that they're going to work through. This guy's sick. We're all nervous about him.
Starting point is 01:03:38 This guy's, you know, homesick or scared or what have you. But then there was an overarching storyline where there was threads that went from show to show to show. And over the years, you cared about how these guys developed, who got home, who didn't get home, how they're away from home at war in Korea. Korea, right? And their relationship with their wives
Starting point is 01:04:01 would sometimes be strained or what have you. And you cared about the overarching storyline. Rick and Morty had that too. Like, all all right this episode is about getting a seed home in morty's butt but overall we're learning about rick's backstory and how his relationship is with the family and that these most recent ones i don't feel like i've really expanded on the the canon it's just not very much there's been a good bit of expansion on some of the family characters and their inter interrelation the relationships between them you know how how how they're all getting along a little bit of expansion there you know but but really more of the same some of the the drug addicts, I guess. Yeah, but she's been like that for years. How is she?
Starting point is 01:04:47 Yeah, she's always wanting to get high. Yeah. It used to be more subtle then because I don't think I picked up on it like it. They really bang you over the head with it now. Yeah, only five or six references before she starts huffing the alien brake fluid. And her eyes are red
Starting point is 01:05:02 and she's got fluorescent blue vomit on her and stuff and like you know they really bang you over the head with it now uh anyway it's it's not very good this season um you know i mean this is the second half of the season i like the first half of the season better than what we're getting right now to me there were two bad ones and it's been okay since it used to be that like it was available, I was pumped. And I was like, yeah, let's watch this shit now. It's like, eh, I think I'll watch another episode of Wire. Maybe I'll go to that later.
Starting point is 01:05:31 Although I bet it would be better with weed. You were pumped for Rick and Morty coming back. Yeah, I definitely was. I was expecting more. I was expecting more like start heading into that evil morty timeline stuff to start talk about do the intergalactic war shit do do rick backstory that's what i want i don't want you to turn yourself into a wasp again or even if the episode was about fucking a planet progress that other storyline hint at it that could be the sea storyline
Starting point is 01:06:03 it really should be. He should be trying to get out of child support payments to a planet and then stumble into someone from his past. That should be the story. I don't need you here. The Jerry storyline was way too fleshed out. He could have been pathetic with much less screen time.
Starting point is 01:06:24 Well, maybe I'll give that show a go after The Wire. The Wire gets crap. Hannibal. Yeah, so Hannibal is played by that James Bond villain guy. Michael, I think his last name is Madsen. It's something Madsen. Mads Mikkelsen. Mads Mikkelsen, that's what it is.
Starting point is 01:06:41 Yeah, I was wrong. He is an excellent Hannibal Lecter. It's an AI-generated name. It doesn't sound real. It does not. And the guy from Morpheus who plays... Oh, I've watched just one season of this, I think. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:56 Ah, there's only two or three. I think it's excellent. And it's so gory, you can't believe that it was on broadcast television. I remember there being quite a bit of gore. Lots of throat slitting and torture and really horrific things
Starting point is 01:07:08 being done to people. Is it done now? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's, um, it's finale is rated as one of the best finales in television history. Hannibal?
Starting point is 01:07:17 Yeah. That's interesting. You guys want to call it a show? Yep, that's a wrap. PKN 301.

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