Painkiller Already - PKN #314
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Solid.
BKN 314.
Hello, boys.
Hello there.
Hello, hello, hello.
How's everyone doing?
Kyle, you were saying that you've got a couple new things that you're diving into.
Yeah, I watched it.
Well, I dove in, I got wet, and I got out.
I watched that whole Michael Jordan documentary.
I guess it's a Chicago Bulls documentary as much as anything.
The Last Dance.
He's out.
He's protecting the integrity
of your sound. I like the call. Colin
snuck out all the way to the door and then
whammo!
It's The Last Dance. It's about the
final season that all the Bulls
were together. Jordan and Pippen
and Rodman with Phil Jackson
coaching and everything.
It really covers this huge... It's also kind of a michael jordan history lesson at the same time
because it goes back to when he's in high school and um it's pretty cool early nba stuff and the
first three pete they did when they won three championships in a fucking row you know him going
to play baseball and then him coming back and winning three more championships in a fucking row you know him going to play baseball and then him coming back and winning
three more championships in a row um so it was it was really good i liked it a lot it was uh
it was pretty emotional i knew michael jordan's dad died uh around the time that he left to go
play baseball do you guys know how michael jordan's father died did he drown he was murdered by whom he was shot and killed by these two robbers
who killed him threw him in a body of water so you were close and uh and stole his fucking car
oh what assholes there were um conspiracy theories about it at the time i don't know
if they're right or conspiracy they were taking on this like always untrue but it's just a theory
about a conspiracy but anyway some people felt like that was tied into why he
stopped playing basketball like there was some mob involvement he's really well known for his
betting oh yeah the gambling and like it wasn't the big thing with him it's like hey you're fixing
games because he was so good he could just change the spread and stuff the big thing was um or
betting on his own games?
No.
There was never any evidence ever that he bet on games at all.
He liked to gamble, though, on poker, on golf especially.
But if you watch the documentary, they've got all this behind-the-scenes footage where the camera crew was following him around in his very early years and like he's gambling with his security guards on quarters you know
throwing quarters who can get the closest to the wall without hitting the wall and uh they're like
all right 100 bucks you get five tries and i get two jordan's saying this to him and they're like
yeah i'll take that i'll take that any day and they throw five different times and the quarter that's close to the wall that's their throw and then he gets
two and he's just like give me my money give me my money and uh like the uh the other bulls players
are talking about how there's there were two games on the private planes to and from like road games
there was michael jordan's poker game in the back of the plane where it was like some of
the more highly paid uh paid players where they're playing for tens of thousands of dollars playing
poker he's like and then you know we're in the front of the plane playing blackjack for a dollar
a hand we can't afford to be in that game and i just remember mike came up one time was like
can i play with y'all and i was like why the hell would you want to play with me
Can I play with y'all?
And I was like, why the hell would you want to play with me?
We're playing for a dollar a hand here. And Jordan said, because I want to say I've got your money in my pocket.
He just loves gambling.
He just loves gambling.
Golf was the big thing, but he was never accused.
the big thing but he was never accused what it was was there was no he was sort of so um popular and so powerful and there was no there was no dirt on him at all and that's what they
came up with to sort of like be like oh look jordan gambles and it's like oh really like
illegal gambling oh no no like betting with his friends you have to know like that documentary that you're
watching was jordan's documentary right that's like me writing my biography and you use that
history lesson right like what so really the problem was woody was so handsome and so loved
that they struggled to find anything that wasn't fucking roses and and lavender incense
coming off the trail of him he wasn't good at baseball but this was false he was actually very
good at baseball too but yeah he's when that came out all his teammates like took the air and they're
like what the fuck is fuck what the scotty pippen's like they're acting like i was shit at basketball and all
the other guys they're scratching their heads they're like this is bullshit they acted like
yeah they pippen has a new like feud doesn't get along with jordan anymore they all feel like this
thing was designed to make jordan look fucking awesome and everybody else looked like a bit
player that yeah it does you gotta watch it
i do yeah yeah i'd like to hear their specific opinions about about why what you just said is
is because like when i saw it it made jordan really look like an asshole like they straight
up call him an asshole um and and they they they pile so much praise on scotty pippen in this thing
it's ridiculous
like throughout the whole thing with him anymore they kiss his ass throughout the whole thing
well maybe he's now i hear that i have to see it i have to see it and then maybe
just didn't like the point maybe there's no amount of praise that will make pippen happy
the only thing they did uh they said about pippen was you know there was a game where
uh there it was like a 15-second –
I don't even think Jordan was playing.
He wasn't.
Jordan was retired playing baseball, and there was a game-winning situation
maybe into the playoffs where there were 15 seconds left on the clock,
and one of the Bulls wasn't being guarded.
And Phil Jackson was like, all right, Joe's going to take the shot.
And Pippen was like, what do you mean Joe's taking the shot?
I take the shot.
And he's like, no, you're getting double protection here.
There's two guys on you at all times.
Was it Steve Kerr by chance?
I don't remember.
I think it might have been that white guy with the blonde hair.
I think it might have been him.
They wanted to give him the ball.
He had a really emotional story, too. i thought he came off looking fucking roses and uh and
pippen was like you know what go do it without me then and they're like what do you mean i'm
sitting on the bench and he literally sat on the bench for a 15 seconds to win playoff type uh
game winning situation and the white dude made the shot and they they proceeded on and they asked
jordan about that and he's like you know he knew he messed up there and i bet if you ask him he'll
tell you he messed up and they go right to pippen yeah i messed up there i don't so i don't understand
why people love it people find it um motivating Like, I guess Jordan had such an intense desire to win.
And sometimes they're like, you know what?
I should maybe step up my own desire to win.
Like, that's been the takeaway a lot of people have had.
Yeah, just a ridiculous work ethic and intensity.
And it's seemingly making everybody around him that much better.
You know, he was like an assistant coach.
It was a really good
documentary. I should check it out. Yeah, I've only heard great things about it. I'm almost
done shameless, which I'm also really enjoying, although it doesn't make me any better as a
person. It's the worst. This is good. I really enjoy this. I watched it over the course of a
couple of days. Originally, it was only on ESPN espn i have espn but i didn't watch it
there but i was on netflix and i saw that it was on netflix now and uh so i i clicked over and
watched the thing i like documentaries where it takes someone who's more successful than i could
ever be in a thousand lifetimes and it shines like a negative light on them so i can sit there
overeating and be like yeah it's not all roses is it They killed your dad. It sucks to suck, bitch.
Bitch?
Bet you wish you could have shot a three-pointer
and saved him, huh?
Jesus.
Eating beef jerky.
Are there any foods
that you guys really want to like and you can't?
Ooh.
Beef jerky is something that
I don't dislike it, and I don't like it. I want to like and you can't. Ooh. Like beef jerky is something that like I don't
dislike it and I don't like it.
I want to like it because it's so lean.
It's all protein, but it's so dry.
It's just it's not
satisfying to me. They're not moisture
beef jerkies. Oh, I know the nugget
kind are good or like if you go to a specialty place
for jerkies like you can get some. You can make those bars.
You can get a whole bar of jerky. I have
never thought. I wish I enjoyed enjoyed jerky more for nutritional reasons but they're that's crazy i just mean last night i
had run out of protein bars until my girlfriend went on the costco trip today and so i was like
all right well i'm eating this entire bag of teriyaki jerky i have to like i need all all 35
grams whatever was in it i mean it's just lean beef that's been dehydrated.
That's what's bad. It's dehydrated.
It just turns to powder in your mouth.
I dislike that.
I always liked deer jerky growing up
because we would shoot deer and we would
just give the deer to a guy and he'd give us like eight bags
of deer jerky, like big,
like two pound bags.
So we just had an infinite supply of deer
jerky throughout my formative
years.
So jerky is better.
I aren't like when I kill the deer,
God,
it was probably five,
six years back at this point,
we had some jerky made and it was way better than the fucking Jack
links bullshit that you can get at a seven 11,
like not even close to that level of dryness.
But yeah,
I just,
yeah.
Do you guys have anything like that?
You're like,
God,
I want to like this so bad,
but I just,
Jackie's chili it would smooth things out around the house if i liked that fucking god awful broth of good
chili easiest thing to make too i i can't fathom what's going wrong she makes it one way
and look i'm in the minority she She likes it. Hope likes it.
But for me... Is Colin on your team?
Colin has a really limited palette.
He doesn't like most things.
But he would be on my team to answer it.
You've got to take allies where you can find them, Woody.
You're right.
The dogs hate it too.
Colin, why are you walking around with slimes?
No more chili.
The dogs turn their nose up.
Keep your witches brew away from me, no. You walk around with slimes. No more chili. Dogs turn their nose up. Keep your witches brew away from me, woman.
Oh, I hope this is a good topic.
Have you watched Landmark lately?
I saw he was playing Fall Guys.
Landmark is hating Tarkov.
And I find that interesting.
It is clearly taking a toll on his mental health.
So people don't know, he's a Twitch streamer,
and he's very, very good.
If you were to name the two best players on the world,
he's either first or second, maybe first.
He's just very, very good at the game.
And I was streaming when he quit Tarkov two days ago,
and I'm like, what?
That's crazy.
He's doing so well with Tarkov that, you know,
why would he change this formula?
And I watched him last night, I think after my own stream,
and I think I saw him quit again.
He just, you know, he can't play.
It's making him insane.
He can't find a way to have fun in this game. But more than that, like, the deaths in Tarkov hurt.
And it's just killing him.
I think part of what it is, his standards are very high.
Like, if I kill two guys and I've got their loot, I'm sort of ready to get out.
You know, I might kill some scavs on the way.
If I get four kills, that's a successful raid.
to get out you know i might kill some scavs on the way if i get four kills that's a successful raid he's not feeling good about a raid unless he wipes a five-man team and you know even then i saw him
he was up went up against a five man he killed like three or four of them and then the other guy
ran and then he killed a player scav on the way out and he was looting the player scav for some reason and he got killed
while looting that guy and he's just ready to quit the game and i i think that it's one of those
things where like when i played cod was often playing to get gameplay so unless i had an
exceptional game for me like a you know eight or better kd i wasn't happy with that game but i didn't i wasn't an 8kd player so those
didn't happen all that often and it just made it unfun unless i was the super me for a few minutes
and that's maybe he's there but i thought you'd have watched more i thought you talked about it
too but yeah it's interesting to me to see a guy who's killing it on twitch chaining his financial
life maybe for the rest of his life and the toll on him
is so rough that he's like fuck it i can't do this it looked like he had five or six thousand
people watching him play fall guys uh you know and tarkov isn't gonna be a thing forever anyway
so i think it's good that he's he's just i see it as him taking like a little break from the game i
mean he grinded all the way to level 70 first in the world level to level 70 months and months and months of 12 he probably averaged 13 hour days
14 hour days because he did that's exhausting like the first week of the wipe he was doing
like these 26 hour days and then sleep for five hours and then another 24 hours and shit like that like stacking up so that first week he probably
put in 100 hours or 110 hours or something in seven days something crazy and uh so i don't know
i guess he does he really deserves a break i wouldn't be surprised if he was just burnt out
on the game especially considering that he keeps his favorite lab is maps or excuse me his favorite
map is labs.
And, uh, he seems to run into a lot of cheaters on there.
And that's gotta be super discouraging for someone as good as him that, you know, if it weren't for the cheater, you know, if I died, I'd be like, well, I was going to die
one way or another.
I mean, at least the cheater got me out of here quickly.
But when he dies, he's like, if it hadn't been for that cheater, I was just going to
kill everyone.
Like that cheater is all that stood between me and killing all 10 of the human beings that are on this map and all 20 of the souped up ai that are on this map and then taking my time to pick
through the most valuable items and then carrying 120 kilos of those items out to the point where
taylor he gets so much loot in this game that there's a weight system
where like the more you weigh the the slower you are so he'll have to lay down his belly and crawl
because he's got so much shit in his backpack he's literally crawling to the door he's got
so much shit on his back that his character can't stand and carry it anymore. Xcal had a weird trick where he could double hit somebody
with a riot shield.
Yeah.
Landmark has a weird trick where he can sideways strafe
and go like 5% faster than you can walk.
And he does it all the time when he's overweight like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's completely mastered the meta of the game yeah i've watched him play
fall guys converted either of you to thinking it looks like a fun game just a fun mindless
silly ass game it is i have a lot of testosterone and i think fall guys is more of an estrogen game
yeah oh yeah it's it's okay what does your character look like is he pink no my guy's got a he's got a pirate outfit on
but that is pretty he's got a purple pirate though be honest you know i think he's i think
he's white everybody everybody looks like the ghosts from pac-man and that's you know it i guess
it's described i guess it's been described to me as like a battle royale in a sense.
You're going through all those obstacle courses and mazes,
and it seems like a Wii game to me.
It seems like the perfect Wii game.
Good description.
And I understand why people like it.
I bet it's a ton of fun for them.
It's just not what I personally am looking for in a game at this juncture.
What I've been enjoying playing is a fucking code names.
I like that.
I can sit and sort of chill with like eight or 10 other people.
And,
and you know,
I can flex my mental powers upon them and laugh when they lose over and
over.
And then,
uh,
it's real funny.
It's real funny.
Uh,
extra gaming fingers on all these 11-year-olds.
I don't have extra gaming fingers. They do. They're 11.
They've been training since birth.
Maybe that's why they're kicking my shinnon more
often than not.
That's right.
Vavity is one of our
patrons, and he is...
He'll like this if he hears it.
He's our smartest patron.
He's the smartest of all the
patrons because uh you know he's he's uh he's in the medical field uh he's in the military uh he's
got his degree and he's an intelligent guy so when when i face off against vavity in code names which
is literally almost every single game because there's this queue you can jump into
so that you are the Codemaster.
You are the one giving the clues
and your team are the ones receiving
clues and then using them.
And the Codemaster is kind of the driver's seat.
And you fancy yourself a bit
of a Codemaster. I am the Codemaster.
I have a shirt that says
it.
No, I don't. I'm just in here ironing letters
on that's absurd given your past behavior why would i put that past you buying my code master
shirt they don't exist yeah taylor that's a good point yeah i feel like you're no longer the fool
couple years ago so i wouldn't put a little you know future past you and i'm facing off against
him and you know i've got my team of and the teams are always random and i'm you're always hopeful
you'll get the smarter guys on your team sometimes you see a lineup and you're just like
got a dummy down this round no no no three-letter words for me um but i had a good team and uh one of and one of the words that I have to cue people into is histology.
Do either of you know what histology is?
I don't think so.
Do you, Taylor?
Taylor's vocabulary is huge.
Histology?
I haven't heard of it.
No, it assumes something about history, right?
Okay, no, but the ology might clue you in.
The study of, right?
It has to do with the study of right it's the study it's uh it has to
do with the study of um wait wait is it a data type study is that that's my guess now ah shucks
no it's a study of like uh the way um skin reacts post-mortem um it's often used in autopsies it's
the microscopic viewing of skin i think to to determine maybe how the person died and things like that.
Well, I know that.
So I'm trying to clue my team in on histology.
And so I say medical too because there's also like vasectomy on the board.
And they're like, well, vasectomy for sure.
And then they stumble around and they can't figure out what histology is they they pick two wrong answers in a row too and i'm i'm i'm scratching
my head how i'm going to do this so i just say historical two because histology is on the board
and so is like genghis khan or something or buddha or something like that and they're like well yeah
all right buddha buddha got that and then they're like well i, yeah. All right, Buddha. Buddha, I got that. And then they're like, well, I don't know what histology means, but it does begin with
Hista.
And he said, historical.
Could that be it?
And they're like, no, that's too easy.
No, he wouldn't give us that good of a clue.
And Bobby's just PMing me like,
those fucking morons.
Because he's in the medical field.
He knows what fucking histology is.
And me and him are just sitting there.
It's a very upsetting game.
So that's what I'm playing right now.
I love that game.
It's infuriating at times, but it's really fun to win a lot.
Makes sense.
When you get a nice little clue out there
and everything falls into place,
that's got to be satisfying. I get a lot of nice little clues i am the i am the code master the absolute code
master i am the code master is anyone even close other than vavity to unseating you this is the
best i've ever played with um he's he doesn't play anymore because uh we were so good we were
accused of cheating and he's like all right you think that i just won't fucking play again um this is the like fucking years ago yeah um but um we were talking about
playing babadi for money uh but babadi can't come up with a partner who's good enough to
to hang with him and that he feels would be good enough to compete against chis and i so
uh babadi is probably uh second best amongst the group that I'm playing with right now.
Yeah, I would say so.
Nice.
Well, if you get bored of that,
if you get bored of Codemastering so much
that it gets too simple for you,
pop on over to Fall Guys
and take on the challenge of a bunch of 11-year-olds
jumping over kind of luck based obstacles that i like about
the game is how much luck there is every once in a while just happens where it's like well all right
that was clearly a glitch but i'm bounced closer to the end other times like you'll just fall right
through the platform i've seen some funny clips from it i saw the one where the guy gets to like
the finish line and then he turns around starts taunting the dozens and dozens of people behind him.
But then these AI-generated boulders start repeatedly knocking him down
as all the people he taunted rush past him.
And they hit him four times in a row, knocking him down,
until so many have passed him that he's at the cutoff point,
like the bottom 15% or whatever it is.
And that looks pretty funny.
That's the worst part of it is you can tell who aren't the children
because they will.
They'll stand right at the end of the game,
and there's a jump at the end of pretty much every map
where you have to jump and usually dive over the finish line
because there's a gap.
And if you just try to run over the finish line,
you'll fall and die and then get teleported back.
Yeah, I played Mario.
Yeah pretty much like that
and there's always guys who
will like stand there and wait for you
to like try to jump and then they'll
go over and do like this little
like there's a little grab move you can do
and so if you grab them as they're jumping you just
like pause them for a second and then they fall
and die and I get I'm not
good enough to do that. Scratch that. i'm not confident enough to do it yet to stand there and be fucking around i just
finish it when i can but god that gets stressful when there's like there's there's one map where
it's there's one point where you run across two like you've seen the stupid show wipe out where
they run across those foam pillars like whoa like they're skinny ones and there's two and then they lead into one
and that's the only way to get up at that juncture in the map there's one little pole and it's a
shit shit house and every once in a while a guy who's really good will get onto that final pole
and just turn around and everybody trying to jump up there he goes
just just throwing everybody down it's like you bastard like it's frustrating to just feel impotent not
be able to do i was watching landmark play and people are doing that to him constantly and i it
he thinks he's being stream sniped and he might be that that could be a thing that is happening
to him or he could just be getting picked on because people pick on each other in that game
as you just described yeah but it's i i kind of like watching his fall guy i'm street mostly that's not my favorite kind of
content which is why i'm not playing i always made content i would like but it's conducive to
chatting like chill and like finish the game i can pop over i can like talk to people during it
but yeah it's he he might not have been getting griefed at all it might just be he might have
been playing on the yellow team because the the fucking twitter account of this game with like
over a million followers now is like retweeting memes about like yeah fuck the yellow team and
it's random what team you get assigned to and so if it's yellow versus red versus blue if you end
up on yellow you are 80 already fucked all of blue is coming for you and all
of red is coming for you.
And so there's this egg collecting game
that is fucking gay as shit.
I hate it.
Oh, this is the gay part of Fall Guys. Okay.
It'll be like
there's a hundred eggs in the middle or whatever.
You have to bring them back to your little nest
and throw them in there and go steal the other teams.
And if you
are on the yellow team,
there's no way to win.
It'll be like halfway through and it'll be like blue team,
61 eggs,
red team,
48 eggs,
yellow team,
literally one egg.
Anytime you throw an egg back into your yellow nest,
there's five red guys and four blue guys there to steal it.
And it's like an understood thing in the game that fuck yellow team.
And we both get by because it's only the worst team that doesn't get to the next round in pokemon go am i
crazy it did yellow team discriminated against in pokemon go as well not fair not fair for why
yeah because nobody likes the electric types probably or racism yeah
but yeah i'm having a blast with that game it's so simple and stupid and fun i like it a lot
yeah vr's are good like that um this is your first vr and it is the worst
i'm trying to think of a vr that's worse or no i'm trying to play i'm trying exactly i'm trying
to think of a vr I would like to play less.
I think it's what's
actually happening. I was thinking like,
well, PUBG kind of got shit by the end.
I'm like, Fortnite?
Man.
Yes, second word.
If I had to choose between...
Fortnite's an amazing game.
It really is.
It's just not for me.
Yeah, the building added such a cool skill gap.
I respect Fortnite for doing that.
The things I don't like about Fortnite have more to do with the player base
than the game itself.
I don't like the visuals of it.
Visuals are really important for me in games.
That's interesting.
I do.
Yeah, I despise those.
Because I was coming from PUBG at the time.
We'd been playing PUBG for a while.
I don't know how long.
Not years or anything, but maybe a month or two.
And then there was Fortnite with those cartoony-ass graphics and the dances and stuff.
And it was like, I'm a hardened battle veteran, all right?
We wear motorcycle helmets when we go to war.
And it was just like these guys
are hopping around and like doing dances and building these weird metal uh wooden house
wooden houses to fight out of and but but i do think that adds like an incredible skill gap
that i respect a lot for them uh having put into the game because a lot of games
shy away from things that add skill gaps like that and i just
wish that a game that i liked had something like that yeah i'm uh i like a happy color palette
i'm fine with that you know yeah i like that about fall guys too just a silly happy color palette
very bright engaging i want to be sad after i finish what's that I want to be sad after I finish.
What's that?
I want to be sad and depressed after I finish.
Like I just played eight hours of a rainy day.
I don't want to play that.
That's sad.
I want to play one game. That's literally exactly what I want.
I'm busy all day,
and so when I stream,
I just want retardation.
Just something stupid
that I really don't have to think about.
So I watched a couple more videos of that game
The Forest, the second one that's coming
out. It looks pretty cool.
I'm down to play that and stream it.
It looks way, way harder than any
game I've played in a while. It looks like it's going to be
aggravating to try and survive with that stupid little
hunting hatchet. It's going to be aggravating for you
to learn fucking Woz Deep.
Are you playing Fall Guys with a
controller? Yeah,
it's pretty much understood that you should use
a controller for this game. Okay.
Some games are like that. I'll give you that then.
I was trying to play it with WASD at first
and I was like, this is so hard. And my whole
chat was like, use your controller, idiot!
Fucking idiot!
You guys bitch at me all the time for not using
WASD and now I do feel like
I'm being responsible and nope apparently wrong
wrong game but it is way easier on controller
not even close because there's only like
three buttons you need
A, X and trigger and
like the camera
design for controller
it's a Wii game
it's a Wii game
but yeah the forest is
standard RPG elements mixed in with competitive But yeah, the forest is standard
RPG elements mixed
in with competitive
no, cooperative
teamwork, you know, as if there's any
other kind. Cooperative
gameplay, I should say.
Exploration, horror
and there's a whole
building aspect that you guys probably saw
in that one video, but we don't do that shit. That shit's lame.
You build a house so you have a save point.
But that house takes literally five minutes to build.
And I never go back to building.
There are people who build huge villages full of, like, mousetrap-style traps.
And they like to lure the hordes of bad guys into them and watch them, like, get destroyed.
And it's like, that has nothing to do with the game.
Like,
like let's just look a little side thing.
They added in that never got fleshed out.
Really?
You like attacking them hand to hand.
The game is,
is like one of those really old school,
um,
Apple computer floppy disk games where you're solving a mystery at its core.
You're,
you're solving the mystery of where your son has been taken to and who took
him and why they took him.
And to save him.
Like so many,
like,
I mean,
going back to like paper Mario on N64,
like you've got to go to like various caves on the map,
completely explore them,
get all the clues that are in them and find little pieces of the story.
And usually there's an item inside like a scuba tank or a weapon or a climbing um like
axe like ice axe that you need to do the final mission you know all those items come into play
uh and the final mission is like all right we got a scuba down first and then we got to
climb up the wall now and it's like oh yeah these were they essentially set up levels one two three
four five six seven eight nine ten
but without ever explicitly saying that they're levels because it's you can do anything you want
it's a it's a big open world you don't usually start with a map that's um that i think that'll
frustrate some people when they first start you begin and you have like a hunting axe and a
fucking bick lighter that's your light source by the way that's one
of those reasons the caves are so scary you're like all right i can see for two feet now that
music is there bet is there scary music i don't there is i think yeah i dogged on slenderman for
like six months before i tried it and then uh i tried it i was alone in the dark in my boxers
and i just thought the whole idea of a game being scary was stupid and lame and impossible.
Why would a game ever be scary for me?
And then I started playing it and the wire from my headset brushed across my thigh.
And I was like, all right, it'd be a little scary the first time.
I was like, alright, it'll be a little scary the first time
yeah
I'm going to play the forest with you
doing it, because I don't
want to get in and be like, ah, no map
let's fuck around and not
google it and just find it
if you do that, you'll starve to death
cave A, that's where the map is
be sure to pick some berries
I want a guide
it's definitely different than anything you've ever done before because this is one of those games
where you've got to eat and drink and eating and drinking isn't usually as simple as like oh look
there's food on the ground well i'm full for the next 55 hours it's like all right well let's go
kill some rabbits and then let's figure out how to construct a campfire and then
let's cook those rabbits and then let's eat them all right that got me a little bit of food i really
need another rabbit though quickly because rabbits are lean meat all right we didn't get a lot of
calories out of that and the water is the same way you're like oh look a clear pool of water
every other video game in existence clear pools of water
you drink out of those that's not the ocean here it's like the water was contaminated and you're
like oh no how do i uncontaminate it how do you beat vomit yeah boil it and you're like well
where's the pot where's the pot at now you're boiling water um i'm making it sound more tedious
than it is but those are things that have to be done yeah i've said before i'm totally down to play it sounds like fun i had fun playing that right
i think the game is called raft raft yeah yeah we all played rap together that was fun i think i
like Colin and i eventually played some more and beat that game we went all the way to yeah you
told me about what the ending was like so i think that helped and uh underwhelming yes underwhelming i wonder if they wasn't it a
beta or something did they finish it it's also probably like a five dollar game you know yeah
it was like free at one point i think by the time you get to the end of that game
oh did you beat it too yeah i played by myself though the size of the raft is like three football fields you've had to make separate
areas to like cook your fit you've got like five kitchens like a bunch of pumpkin patches and
banana trees and it's like this is i'm just maintaining now like i could do i could walk
away for 40 minutes and come back and i wouldn't really lose anything you know at first you know
you're like building a tower to land on the island and get to a higher elevation in it.
By the end of the game, I had stairways to everywhere.
I could have backed that thing in accidentally and there'd be a convenient stairway to that island.
Yeah.
You put these fish traps, or not fish traps, but like junk catching traps on the edges of your boat.
By the end, the full perimeter is just trash catching traps,
and you're just making the rounds around and around.
And after, you know, 20 hours of playing, you're like,
so I'm a garbage man now, I guess.
That's what I do.
I'm sweeping the ocean clean.
I haven't passed my line in nine hours.
You know, I've just been letting it scoop
up everything yeah that was a fun game for a while though i liked that yeah it's fun for
you know four or five hours just because at first it's hard you know you literally start out or
maybe 10 you literally start out on that raft that's just like a one by plywood you know and
by the end you've got a fucking giant sea vessel
that does everything you could ever want.
Yeah, by the end, you're like,
the sharks will come up and tear out a panel.
In the beginning, you're like,
there's a shark on the panel!
There's a shark on the panel!
By the end, it's like, you can have that entire half.
It does that.
That's how two of my beet farms over there,
you go, fuck yourself, take it.
That's how all games are, really, though,
because we were playing The Forest the other night, and our left and uh and i was like oh i'll just host
one and so it gave me the option to start a new game or continue and i was like we'll continue
should pick up the last guy's save at least i thought that no it it brought up a save from
years ago when i played and i'm like all right boys got to quit. Let me show you my inventory.
And it's just like, I have the giant raft with the fish catching machine and the multiple tiers.
I have every weapon in the game and every item in the game.
And my inventory is completely full.
It's like, this will ruin the game for us if we continue.
I was like, look at my screen right now.
I have eight bases on this map.
Like every direction I turn, there's a base that I own this won't work this won't work yeah yeah it is disappointing almost when you get to that point in the game in pokemon it was like that where it's like i'm grinding i'm
gonna get the charizard so powerful i'm gonna go to the elite four and i remember like when i was a
kid like i would know like oh like everybody in my lineup like i got a charizard i got a blastoise
got a venusaur got a fucking machamp alakazam and a gyarados whatever it is it's like all right
they're all like level 60 i could trounce the whole elite four now if i wanted to but like even
that like nine i'm like but you don't want to go in there and be a guy who's known for barely
sneaking by the elite four you want to go in and one hit ko every single pokemon in the elite four is
like the big battle you have to fight four people five people in a row you can't heal in between
like it it's tough if you're nine and i would just like grind in a in rock cave against high
level people until all of them were like 10 12 levels higher than everyone else and then you'd
go in and the first playthrough as you're dominating is a bunch of fun and then there's
nothing else to do in the game it's's like, do you want to go do this
additional mission? It's like, well, no
because I fucked up and I trained too high and it
wouldn't be fun. Well, I guess I'll restart again.
I played, when I bought Pokemon Red in 1997
or 8 or whatever it was, I didn't know there was
an option that you could heal your Pokemon
because I didn't
Google it or anything. Well, I guess
I wouldn't have even Googled it. I didn't AltaVista it
or whatever it would have been. I just remember like getting in a couple fights and my charmander
dying and restarting the game like five times being like this is fucking hard man i have to
keep this this lizard alive for the entire game and they're like oh he was like no you can like
you can heal that motherfucker anytime it's like oh okay i'm watching a history of go ahead
different games are different for me um so like tarkov i'm watching a history of go ahead different games are different for me
um so like tarkov i really like the sort of end game where i'm rich and i can die it doesn't hurt
so bad and such um i played uh war war z something like that wwz and in that game i thought it's like
left for dead almost in that game i thought getting my character all ranked up and all the skills was going to be it's going to make it more fun but it almost became like oh
well why am i what am i playing for anymore you know my guy like shucks i really liked it when
i was opening up new powers or getting better at something and now i'm not sure like what's
even the point if it is yeah skyrim characters get like that where by the time it's the end of
the i don't know how you guys played skyrim but i would that where by the time it's the end of the i don't
know how you guys played skyrim but i would do like the most fun run through i ever had is i did
every single ancillary mission before i even walked into white run and so like usually you
the way the game wants you to play is you walk into white run with your like hood on and like
your shitty sword no i want to burst into Whiterun as the most
powerful mage Skyrim has
ever seen and then you
still get the same dialogue and I remember he's like
who's this ruffian come in my
court and he's like it shows you
and I've got like a powering
witch king helmet I'm emanating
purple light I've got two stabs
and they're like and you believe you
can slay the dragon i'm wearing
dragon bones you know actually i've killed every dragon in the game except for random ones here
and so i liked that that was fun you or you do all of them except for the assassin's guild
you let yourself be super powerful as an archer for the assassin's guild that's a bunch of fun
you have to make the assassinations harder on yourself though be like you have to like set your own rules where
it's like no i have to snipe them from like the barricade of the city with my bow because if you
if your stealth is maxed out you could walk up to them spit in their ear and they'll be like
someone there that's i i think that's considered a cheap way of playing but it's how i like to play
i like to play like a maxed out stealth sniper or a stealth archer character i do think that's considered a cheap way of playing, but it's how I like to play. I like to play like a maxed out stealth sniper or a stealth Archer character.
I do think that's the shitty way to play,
or it's,
I've seen people make fun of that way of playing on the,
on the Skyrim subreddit.
You don't,
you don't number one first playthrough play that way.
Cause you don't know,
but yeah,
that's how I played the first playthrough.
I was like,
well,
I want to be a sneaky bow guy.
That sounds fun.
Um, and then like in subsequent playthroughs, I would to be a sneaky bow guy that sounds fun um
and then like in subsequent playthroughs i would usually be a mage but i would opt but like early
on your magic is so bad see the the attraction to being a stealth uh archer is that you get a
combat you get a bonus for being in stealth when you shoot someone. A really big bonus. A really big bonus, like several fold.
And because you're shooting them with a bow,
you're not close enough that they can one tap you
because a lot of the early, you're so weak
that a lot of the stuff will just fucking destroy you with one hit.
So it's just, it's really helpful for a new player
so that you're not getting one hit.
You're able to, and the thing about that game is like
the enemies don't exactly rank up and follow you.
So rank up with you alongside you.
So you can easily jump into a cave
where it's way over your skill level.
And you'll usually quickly find that out.
And some players are smart enough to be like,
oh, wrong cave and leave and then there's me who's like doing it 30 fucking times
in a row like i can sneak my way through this i can sneak my way through and eventually you do
it enough times you build up that sneak and you will get through it's just you know i would i would
take my xbox controller and tie rubber bands to the sticks so that he would continuously walk forward.
And then I would click my sneak button.
And then I would have him sneak in a bedroom next to a sleeping body for hours.
For hours on end.
And that was for sneak.
And then if I wanted him stronger, this may have been Oblivion.
And then because I played that a shitload too. If I i wanted him stronger i would put him out in a lake and i and and both
sticks had to be involved so i had two rubber bands one to like turn the right stick to the left
and one to push the left stick forward just so i swam in circles you're just out there doing laps
for eight hours while while real me is asleep in bed thinking like
i'll be so strong when i wake up i'm gonna whoop some fucking troll ass i'll be so fucking strong
and you get back on and sure enough you've gone up like 18 power levels or something like that
yeah the way the game was meant to be played exactly that game was so full of bullshit
oblivion in particular i
think that's the one that had the ring glitch where i think the the idea was that you're supposed
to be able to put on like two rings at a time or or something the end result was that there was a
glitch where you could a ring could give you like skill boost it's like ah when i this is the ring of power i'm 10 points
stronger when i wear this and it's like yeah but i found a way to make it make the game think that
i'm wearing 10 000 rings of power so uh i can literally jump out of the map now like literally
when you go into a city the game does a cut scene real quick and now you're inside a city and it's
all walled off there's you can sort of see over the walls and and oh yeah there's grass and stuff out there but
it's there's no textures there's no it's not meant for you to be out there because you're in here
but my character could get a running start and ha and just jump over the city walls back out into
the non-textured world and now i'm just out there in 2d land like
running around and running so fast that the character would have momentum so you just let
go of the sticks and he'd like fucking legolas like like you continue moving yeah that ruins the
game it sounds like it made the game better i so i never cheat in games i swear that's true but i was playing borderlands
the first one on xbox and i bumped into someone who gave me a shield that was good but the shield
was great the shield was so great i suspect it was a hacked shield like a good shield in that
game might give you like i don't know 400 uh like there's two kinds
of damage you say 400 and 400 this one was like 3500 and 3500 and it made it so that i could
replay like the boss at the end or the the way leading up to it again and again and again and
always win and i just liked it and it was hard enough that like if you fucked around and messed
up too badly you could get in danger but all you had to do is put on your try hard pants for a second the shield recharges
and you're good to go again i would just play that all the time i i beat that i beat borderlands one
probably like 50 times because i just replay the last hour of it and enjoy it it was a good
yeah it was a good cheat i still have it i bet i usually like to go the
opposite with games that are really um i'm super into and like make it harder and harder i like
games that once you beat it on the hardest difficulty they unlock an even more ridiculously
harder difficulty uh doom does that and dead space did that so i liked going back and beating dead
space the second time through on the i don't know nightmare
mode or whatever the fuck it was called did you get the mile high club achievement in cod 4
yeah it was hard for me that was a tricky it was hard for everyone oh yeah i often see that as um
like achievement of all time well there'll be like a top 10 list of the hardest achievements
in all of gaming and And it makes that list.
Yeah, that was a really aggravating mission.
I haven't thought about that in years.
Did you do it, too?
Did you get?
Yeah, I finally finished it.
But I remember it took me fucking forever to eventually do it.
I would panic when the time was kicking down and you had and your guys swaying all over the place at the end.
And the guys not even holding hostage still.
I got that second try but
getting to it it was like hundreds of tries to get there and i was held back somewhat by bad
advice in the chat my chats fuck with me as far as back is like justin tv they were giving me shit
and they would be like go this way go that way they'd give me bad advice and i'd try that for an hour um i remember when
i played skyrim this is almost legend now but uh youtube was new at streaming right so youtube was
a new streaming site and the chat if you were busy enough the chat would get delayed well mine was
like 90 minutes behind and they're telling me to check behind the waterfall for something on Skyrim and I'm long gone I was there an hour ago and they're just going in like off behind the water
hall behind the waterfall it started as good-hearted advice like what do you need to go
check behind the waterfall this is important thing you don't want to miss but then like as
an hour late it's like I can't go all the way back there. And it's making me crazy. So it just keeps going and going.
And it's like six hours of trolling me to check behind the waterfall.
They still write it in my chat now and then.
Did you ever check behind the water?
Yes.
Yeah.
I beat Skyrim.
There's like more stuff I didn't do, like some guild.
But I played that game like straight up the
middle i did as few side quests as i could i i beat the game i heard the story and it scratched
my head as to why anyone would play a different way but i guess i'm weird yeah i just remember
the thieves guild was the lame when he plays role-playing games, his character is Woody, the guy who's playing
a role-playing game.
On his valiant
mission to get it the fuck over
with.
That's about right.
This game's so much fun.
I can't wait till it's done.
Meanwhile, I'm like,
well, I think my elf would have a lot
of scars because he's a little shorter and he probably had to fight trolls growing up.
That's really going to affect the way he approaches situations.
My guy's a skooma addict.
I have a little bit of depth to the character.
Now, me as the role player, I want to go to the thieves guild, but my character needs a skooma fix.
So I need to go to the skooma plant.
And then, you know, then he goes to the thieves guild and the thieves guild goes but my character needs a skooma fix. So I need to go to the skooma plant. And then,
you know,
then he goes to the thieves guild and the thieves guild goes,
are you on the skooma again?
He goes,
you fuck you for even an ass.
I just remember the thief.
Like I remember I would always do the assassin's guild first and it would be high,
high T fun.
It'd be like,
you need to go and kill the prince of whatever.
And it's like fucking tight at his wedding too awesome you know what
i'm gonna do you one better i'm gonna kill every person at the wedding and that's what was usually
my goal remember that one we'd have to go kill the person at the wedding and if you were a powerful
mage you could walk right into the middle and then just do your mass freeze back yep do your
mass freeze and then your mass fire and every single person at the wedding is dead but you've caused a ruckus by that point
so people are coming after you but it doesn't matter.
And then you would be like, man, I'm amped up.
I'm ready to go join another guild.
And they'd be like, hey, welcome to the Thieves Guild.
Blacksmith has a pretty cool pot we like.
Go get it.
It's fucking retarded, dude.
This is the worst.
It's like you do three fetch quests for them
and then they say they'll let you in but all they do is pay you a pittance in like silver cups and yeah
i remember the thieves guild i never finished that ever because it was really needed they really
needed some way to fix the the issues that you're pointing out where like you go to the mages guild
and you become the um what do they call the the grand mage of like white hall
the the you're you're like the you're the chief mage they literally give you your own tower
and your own robes yeah yeah your own robes like like you you've got custom gear you've got your
own house in the middle of the city and it's a giant magical tower and in it are
like like mixing tables and and like a spawn point and like all the things that you normally have to
like go to somebody else's house like it's like when you're growing up and like one friend had a
second one friend had a nintendo no you've got every game console at home now you don't need to
go anywhere and then you go to join the Fighters Guild and they're like,
see if you can beat up Leroy over there.
And you're like, of course I can beat up Leroy.
Like, I'm the...
Did you not see me levitate in here?
I flew through
the window. I'm the arc
mage of... Don't you know me?
Yeah, it's like there's dead serpents
and trolls all around me.
A child cried when he saw me on the
way in what are you doing like they should give you like upgraded like missions you should walk
in they're like oh the arc mage himself well we've got something for you and they're like oh cool
they're gonna give me a custom mission because i'm the fucking arc mage i'm the baddest motherfucker
in the game already.
Like, give me something hard to fight.
But instead, like you said, you're stealing pots and pans.
You're beating up Leroy the janitor who, you know, stupid stuff like that. They are tremendously underutilizing you.
Yes.
It's like, you want to send me to the Greybeards?
I can kill them easy peasy at this point.
No, no.
Oh, you want a bushel of apples?
them easy peasy at this point no no oh you want a bushel of apples it makes it frustrating to like be a completionist because like like like after you've completed i guess if you like touched them
all a little at a time if you're like all right one one made one mission for the mages one for
the thieves one for the fighters and you bounced back and forth but that's not expedient at all you know
you can fast travel yeah you'd have to fast travel yeah that would suck my game and the
loading screens are long in that game yeah um might have been thieves killed or is there an
assassin's killed i don't know there is but i had a mission to like go kill someone who
i had already killed and i'm like oh well so I guess I can't do it
you know like
so you're aware of this yeah
I never had it with the assassins guild
multiple times where it'd be like
go kill the potter in Whitehall
and then you like go and murder the shit out of him
and you come back and she just says
you must murder the potter
in Whitehall
son of a bitch
I've killed every potter and white hole son of a bitch now it's over where you go every
potter in this land yeah you return walking around with handfuls of water
you must claim the chalice from the priest of the river it's like all right and you go and you steal
the chalice and you bring it back and you're holding it in your hand in front of him.
And you'll be like, give, give.
And he's like, don't come back here till you've got the chalice.
It's like, fuck!
Well, I guess I'm done with it.
That happens so many times.
I quit the whole game.
I love those fucking games.
I love those fucking games.
I wish they would just make a new one instead of
selling us the old one again and again and again for over a decade have you played it on your phone
i played it on my refrigerator at this point come on give me a new fucking game just do it
it must be you guys seen those tweets where it'll say like sent from my android sent from my iphone and someone someone will say like sent from my samsung smart fridge yeah that's pretty
fun yeah i wonder if when there'll be a new gta because that case so hopefully gta was super
expensive to make was it a quarter quarter billion yeah it was a quarter billion dollars to make
grand theft auto and it was very profitable and it's just like that was a quarter billion dollars to make Grand Theft Auto, and it was very profitable.
And it's just like, that was a big bet, though.
That's a big bet.
Turned out to make money.
Are they going to do it again?
GTA V might be the most fun game I've ever played.
That was...
Yeah, they're saying...
They're saying it'll be somewhere between April of 2023
and March of 2024.
Ah.
That is a long time from now.
That sucks. So Grand Theft Auto's come out
less frequently than Xbox now.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, it'll be what? One per console.
11 years
since GTA 5 came out
when that comes out in 2024. They really want to milk these
things dry. I want to say GTA 5
was Xbox 360,
right? It may have even been. I don't think so. It GTA 5 was Xbox 360, right? It may have
even been. I don't think so.
It might have been like 2013, right?
2012?
That would surprise me.
I don't know. I just know it was really fun.
The dialogue in that game is genuinely
funny. The characters
are good.
Everybody's likable.
You get to just cause problems.
It is Xbox One and Xbox X.
It wasn't 360.
Okay.
Yeah.
No, it was 360.
I'm not reading this carefully.
They updated it,
but it came out on PlayStation 3
and Xbox 360.
I got excited there for a second.
They didn't skip a console. They ported it, updated it but it came out on playstation 3 and xbox 360 i got excited there for a second that
is so there's they didn't skip a console they ported it but it they dropped on xbox 360 that's
crazy yeah have you uh have you seen any of the new halo 4 gameplay that's not new like it came
out this week or anything but you know like a month ago it came out a lot of people are upset
with some of the art decisions you know the lighting looks, the way Master Chief looks,
the way the brutes look and stuff like that.
And some of the story decisions they've made
where it seems like the elites are back with the brutes now for some reason.
They have to update the art, though.
Is the problem that it's a little detailed?
It looks less detailed, I think, is the real complaint.
Oh, I didn't expect that.
I saw people doing those comparisons like,
hey, this is what this game looked like,
and this is what the new one's going to look like.
And it didn't look good.
I haven't played Halo since...
I mean, I've played them all, I think,
but I haven't liked Halo since Halo 3.
Halo dropped at a time that I wasn't gaming very much it was like
i think school or something and so i never really got into it when other people did yeah i started
um i think we rented like halo halo um combat evolved halo one and then i think we rented
halo two and we finished the campaign and it leaves off on that crazy cliffhanger.
And then like looking at the calendar, it was like four more months away until Halo 3 came out.
So I was just like, fuck, yeah, this was perfect.
It was perfect.
It went four months, though.
I was so excited for Halo 3.
I loved it.
And it paid off.
That's one of those times when I was like super excited about something.
And then when it did come out, I was just it was perfect met those high expectations
it absolutely did it was so good I loved it so much I would I haven't actually gone back and
played that when we uh we did uh the first two like the remastered versions they look so much
better if you look at the before and afters like night and day better like going from well
like what you could expect going from original xbox to uh modern con not even a modern console
a pc yeah i'm very excited about updating my pc i i i'm sitting here reading news getting i talked
to my chat a lot about pc recommendations because i fall out of um like i get not current
anymore i make a pc and i stop paying attention to like which cpu is the hot ticket for the next
three years and uh so now i'm educating myself on on what to do and how to build it and what to do
next and you know it my pattern so everyone goes into buying a pc thinking like oh well i'll upgrade
the cpu along the way i'll upgrade this along the way and i do too but then what i actually do is buy something and then just don't do shit
with it for the next three years and then buy something new like that that's been the my so
this time i'm going into it with that in mind like all right let's buy it nice not like you know the
most performance for dollar which is what most pc guys do. I just want a high-performing computer
that I can rock for three years or so.
I usually buy, I upgrade when I need to.
You know, whenever some other, you know,
when a monitor gets better
and I need more hardware to push it
or when a game comes out that requires more,
a better GPU or a better CPU.
I think last time I upgraded was,
it was game specific.
I don't remember which game,
maybe Tarkov.
It was either Tarkov or,
um,
or,
uh,
PUBG or something like that.
Whatever I was playing a rust,
maybe whatever I was playing,
I wasn't getting enough frames.
I was like,
all right,
well,
let's just spend.
I think it was Tarkov.
Actually,
you were telling me that when you scoped in,
in particular, the frame. Yeah. Yeah but like a monstrum scope in particular
like for some reason i really like the monstrum scope but whenever i would scope in with it like
frames would drop to like 40 and i was like well this is this is not gonna work yeah i the entire
upgrade was just to play uh tarkov i wonder if i'll play i play on 40 frames all the fucking time
like if i get 50
i'm like this shit's running nice huh this is this map is easier to render i use my my computer's old
it's age now it's the 1080 ti isn't too bad i mean it's gender behind but the cpus are old and i
upgraded them but i would have to upgrade the motherboard to get cpus that are better than i
have and yeah it's time for a new computer yep you've got a streaming computer now though you can just probably not this thing's so
like the streaming though no it's the electric bill kyle like this is a server class computer
that i'm running on it has dual power supplies it has two cpus it has like like it's expensive
to run it he takes one of the cpus out yeah i probably
could do that actually but take a psu and a and a and a cpu out i don't know what i'm gonna do
with it like i've considered continuing to put pka on it because it's really reliable like that's
that's the point of it if this computer doesn't crash um and it does pka really well it's not
the most demanding thing but i not not demanding i remember
it used to be like if i live streamed and watched videos at the same time i'd have trouble and uh
now that that problem is solved and it's real reliable that's the point of it but i don't know
if i want two computers in the rack or whatever people this idea of a dedicated streaming computer
tucker enthusiastically said that is the way to go you
have a dedicated streaming machine but you know like landmark doesn't pastille doesn't i don't
know if he's right or landmark does out of date oh does he yeah hmm maybe i don't know maybe i
should maybe i'll buy some little side computer too yeah and i don't know that still is the most like tech forward guy
yeah i'm stuck on this so when i streamed xbox years ago my setup was complicated you know i
got like the i had an xbox that i could play on a tv and i could also stream it to my computer
and i had all these hdmi switches and shit just like broke a lot and my my setup was so complicated
that it was less reliable and i'm now i'm cautious of going that direction yeah i understand i think
it's my guess my assumption is that it's uh you know there's been so much hardware since then
that's made to do this that uh it's it's it's a lot simpler than it used to be because you know when
we when we first started with those fucking hop hog capture cards and all that bullshit we were
jerry-rigging things to do things they were never meant to do you know like things weren't dedicated
for that no they weren't they no one saw that there was a whole business model for it but certainly is now but yeah landmark's
been using a streaming pc for it's been months i don't know how long oh i might just be wrong i
don't know why i'm so sure there was one but okay i remember when he upgraded like it was a whole
thing you know he's been upgrading as he went he got the new camera a few weeks ago um and i got
his got his foot pedals and uh and all that shit
dude i'm i actually went to amazon and looked at like foot pedals that i like what do you don't
have his problems you don't have so many donations overwhelming your stream that you need foot
controls to deal with it like that you're kidding good for other stuff though i thought that what
would you put on what would you do with it i i would um it would be game dependent for sure but for tarkov i would make that my lean i would lean
with right and left and i would have them i would i would get the ones that we're not where it's not
like a block of pedals like i'm doing i'm not doing a racing game i want two separate switches
that i can put like where my feet actually are and i can lean back and forth with my uh with my feet i think
that would be cool but for like some games like like rpgs for example like like um it would be
just be nice if i had like i don't know a healing potion on my right foot or maybe just my sword on
my left or something like that just two things that i'm often switching to and from a rust it'd
be great to i i could come
up with so many things for rust from like fast building techniques to bandaging and healing
yeah you know sometimes like one thing that happens not just to me and tarkrop but f and g
are next to each other you hit f all the time to open doors open search people etc and then it's
right next to g which is throw a grenade so you know you
might get inside a room want to open the door and now you're throwing a grenade in a closed room and
it's a big problem so i uh i use e to open doors i put it on my mouse my mouse has a lot of buttons
so now i never use f anymore but i i my i hold my hand unlike anybody else i've ever seen i'm sure it's the wrong way
you know i it's like i learned to type with my asdf i i use asdf you know like
you type with your hand on the fucking home row keys there's a bump on f for my index finger on
my keyboard anyway on every keyboard i've got a i've got a huntsman do you have custom keycaps for your wasd no oh i do that i'll show that everybody are they're colored
but they're um if you put your fingers on them they're bumpy so it textured yeah yeah it's real
subtle but like they're you know um like a running board it has that pattern with the little like a
chrome running board type thing what
would that be yeah anyway it has something like that so if you put your fingers on the wrong key
you're like oh wait a minute some of these are smooth you slide i use surfboard wax on mine so
it i don't it's just like the home key finder you know like it's supposed it's not supposed to be
slick yeah yeah i feel that for sure yeah i but that's just how i learned to type so when i first started playing pc games
no one told me that my hand should should not be in the place that it is when you fucking type the
other thing you do with a keyboard so uh so yeah i just always learn so when i press w i do it with
my ring finger and e i do with my middle finger i
don't know if these are things if this is not the right way to do it or not it probably isn't
and then my pointer finger my index is just always already on f so getting to g and t or super it's
super easy to me for me but getting to left control so many games use left control and i'm
just like the fuck am i gonna get down there shit how i guess i could what no we're
remapping this part of my hand that's how i hold that yeah i i'll hit windows key if i do that
okay yeah so i just remap it i usually remap left control to shift and uh or caps you know
or something like that something that i can actually hit reliably i don't think it's
a detriment or anything it's just different no i just do it the traditional way but everyone else
does my hand is bad so like i have extra um challenges you're like was d super good i don't
know that i really need to get any better at was d but you know if i have to hit y every so often
you know then then i'm fucked up like that's a challenge i have to find was d again you know
when i say i'm good at was d usually people mean the whole keyboard but i'm actually talking about
those four that's the part that i'm you know you get outside of there where i actually struggle
where it matters is hitting the number keys reliably like like I wish I had
them somehow like I don't know like marked or sticky or with some rubber key caps or something
because games like um rust in particular you have you have like your hot bar of six items and you
get to decide what those six are you could have like a bow and arrow in every single one if you wanted to but normally you've got like two healing items um maybe a gun maybe a gun or two
guns and then um the next one could be like a rocket launcher could be anything c4 down there
and it's really nice to be able to quickly access those things because sometimes it's much quicker
to like in the old cod meme to switch uh weapons then to reload one so it's i quicker to, like in the old COD meme, to switch weapons than to reload one.
So it's the best players.
I wonder if you'd like an MMO mouse just for Rust.
I've done that too.
I don't know.
I'm so used to this mouse that no one in the world uses because it's a piece of shit, I'm sure.
This RAT 6 gaming mouse that's shaped like a fucking starship that no one else in the fucking planet
uses because it's i'm sure again that it's a piece of shit but it's what fits my hand well and i like
it i found it i'm going to show it to everybody just shame No, I didn't mean that. I didn't expect it.
But visually,
so when I was shopping for a mouse,
mice that had this,
what I'll call a Transformers look to them
were a turnoff for me.
I wanted something like a Death Ad
or something smooth,
you know, a gaming mouse,
but not exactly, you know,
so Transformers.
And then after I started playing tarkov a bit i really needed
more buttons you know i i wanted more on the mouse so that i wasn't fiddling with and now
my mouse isn't too far from yours really uh okay you know styling yeah it's like it's it's
it's how many buttons you got over there i see you got i saw two on the thumb side
there's three on this side and then two more up here and then like three
on the top and the mouse scroll wheel uh it also wiggles side to side which is how i wiggle in
tarkov but that's like two more buttons that's interesting so uh um i i lean with the uh the
two on the on the thumb side of my mouse okay I lean with those. I just feel like leaning with, what is it, Q and E?
I get it.
Whatever it is in the game, actually.
Like, while doing things like crouching and moving in and out of cover
and, like, jiggle peeking.
How are you fucking doing that, people?
How are you doing that?
Like, there's no way you can do that as well as I can.
I'm not saying I'm better than you. I'm just saying that this tiny aspect of the game you're not as good as me
because it's on my fucking mouse there's just no way because i don't know i would need more fingers
and my fingers don't work that well anyway because they do that lock and pop shit like it doesn't
work out mine do too um what was it yeah So I usually know that I need to lean in advance.
Like, you know, I'm in a room, you're in a hallway, and I'm expecting to come out.
I just want to show a little bit of me.
Like, I knew two seconds before I started firing that I was going to lean.
And I feel like you're doing it in the midst of the fight as opposed to like a prep for the fight like I do.
Yeah, sometimes. Like, I like to jiggle and then fights a lot i'll strafe and jiggle i like all like i'll strafe left
jiggle right i'm just trying to keep my head from getting blown off my shoulders headshots so i'm
just yeah just trying to be a hard target i whenever i get into a gunfight and i think god
that guy was hard to hit why why was he so hard
to hit and i'll try to duplicate that i'll try to be the most annoying target i can yeah yeah
there's i don't know i like it and it's about like it obviously defense is super important like you
said every once in a while i'm like no if i stand still then i'll be the head shotter you know like
like i can and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
It's probably better to keep moving.
But I've been, I've had luck not moving
and I've had luck moving.
Fans are playing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I know we're at the hour point,
but I just want to say if anyone is interested
in a new book to read,
I just finished book one of Mortal Engines.
I really liked it. I think it like uh considered like a teen book it's a steampunk uh alternate reality it's like 10,000
years into our future after the world it's there is a movie i don't think you need to bother with
that i haven't seen it it was peter jackson made it um it's uh it's like 10 000 years in the future
everything's all steampunk like there aren't any real computers but everybody's flying all the
ships oh excuse me all the cities are traction cities now they they move around these enormous
uh like tank treads and they chase other cities and they eat each other they call it municipal
darwinism where the big
cities eat the small cities and the fast cities eat the slow cities and you eat them and take all
their resources and their people and make them your own and so the story kind of circles around
london which was the original traction city and it's it's so far into this phase of existence where cities are moving predators that prey is getting scarce.
And it's a pretty cool story.
I like it.
One of the main characters is this terribly scarred girl.
And they just make a point of talking about how hideous she is.
Every time, like in the movie, of course, i think she's got like a little like cleft palate
or something like that they're like and like like even on the cover of the movie she's wearing her
bandana that covers like the nose down but her eyes are beautiful and like you tell that she was
she'd be beautiful like it without her fucked up lip without her fucked up lip top 10 beautiful gorgeous lady
in the book
she's been and it's from a sword slash
of the face in the book one eye
is gone like the nose
is gone
she's like tearing
her lip is like in a permanent
sneer that like exposes
her teeth and it's just like
every time anyone new meets her
they're like oh hello there pretty aren't you a sigh i like to think that they just get like
crueler and crueler like you work out a lot but you still can't get fucked can you
they do they literally like they're the two of of the main characters, it's this guy that's with her,
and they're not in a romantic relationship, at least at first.
And they sort of hate each other, but they get captured by these pirates,
and the pirates take a shining to the young man,
because he's a London gentleman.
He'll teach me to be a London gentleman.
It's like the orcs have caught a well-to-do man or elf,
and they're like, I'd like to learn to be like you.
And he's just like, oh, yeah, I could teach you to be like me.
Yeah, just get me out of this fucking cage and don't feed me to the trolls.
And so the main pirate just keeps saying to the boys,
why don't you get yourself a good
looking girl the others didn't like you a lot more if they saw you had a nice girl my own daughter
you could have her and he's just like no we've been together a long time really he just doesn't
want to deal with this guy's daughter because there's no but she's just hideous it's it's so funny like
like i finished the first book it's maybe 12 hours of audio they must make fun of her face
a dozen fucking times and i just started book two right off the bat making fun of her ugly face do
they um is it one author reading i'm sorry one narrator reading the it is it is he's doing a
really good job i'm reading that and um i'm and and the first book of the Hannibal Lecter series, Red Dragon.
I've started choosing books, not exclusively, but if a cast reads the audiobook, then that's
a tick in its favor for me.
If I hear the book is decent and women read the women parts and men read the men parts,
I really like that.
This guy nails
accents he's a real roy detrice nice he's uh like there's a there's an asian half half chinese half
french female character he nails it he nails it and then he goes right back into old london
like a posh london and then a like a lower class london i am the three body problem that guy nailed accents so well because so that book is
chinese and everyone's name is z or something like it like this one's xi this one's xie i don't know
the fucking like they're so i could only tell who it was by the accents and he did it so well
i listened to like i don't even know a hundred hours of audiobook
never being confused who was who because the accents he nailed them so well but still a cast
is even better yeah yeah that's um that's my i've only been listening to about three hours of the
red dragon book so far that's the if you saw the movie it's the one with edward norton and hannibal
lector and they're looking for um um i can't think of the actor's names but they're they're uh they're looking for
a serial killer and there's a part where he's reading a woman's diary in the woman's voice
and she and she's like dave asked me what i wanted for my birthday this year. I told him you're big prick,
silly,
as far in as it'll go.
And I'm just like,
God,
you couldn't even try to be feminine for that one.
Like he's got this,
he has this deep,
scary voice.
Jack Crawford said to him,
I don't know, but today we'll find out. And then he like goes to the other guy's voice. Jack Crawford said to him, I don't know,
but today we'll find out.
And then he like goes to the other guy's voice and the other guy also has,
happens to be incredibly gruff and masculine.
And then,
but when he does women,
it's just like,
man,
maybe they should have,
uh,
hired a different,
this one in particular has,
I mean,
there's not a lot of female parts.
There's actually very very
few i noticed that because in the movies and tv shows they replace a lot of the male characters
with women because they're so it's a completely male dominated cast in the books like uh dr bloom
and freddie lounges in the tv show for example are both women no these they're just they're both
dudes in the book so you end up
with like eight dudes looking for hannibal lecter another dude and it's like all right i guess
we left the ladies at home huh ah just like a good book i don't hate that i don't hate that
actually like at one of my formula lord of the rings i never struggled but um sometimes the
characters in um what the fuck
is the one we all learn to hate at the end of season eight game of thrones you know like
it's just another dirty bearded character who you haven't seen for a season and a half like
was it the band of brothers is it what is the brotherhood without banners they ended up being
a bunch of nothing yeah most of the people did but it's like the brotherhood without banners they ended up being a bunch of nothing yeah most of the people did
but it's like the brotherhood without banners i'm like who are these people what is their story
again how do i differentiate them from other characters we've barely met or seen and yeah
you know this is just a vehicle to get aria closer to the hound again and no one else matters if some
of them were like elvish almost you just, just imagine the band of brothers were all good hygiene,
well-shaven people.
And one guy had the eye patch.
Yeah,
that's pretty cool.
Yeah.
That's helpful.
Right.
But that I'm with you.
It was a distinguished 40 bearded middle-aged men.
Yeah.
It looked the same.
If some of them just like,
Hey,
yeah,
you know what?
In this village,
we all bathe daily and shave.
I'd be like,
ah,
instantly. These are the elves, you know, like I would know, but, uh, you know what? In this village, we all bathe daily and shave. I'd be like, ah, instantly.
These are the elves. I would know.
But not literally elves.
Yeah.
That would have helped me follow the story.
You would have loved Trivial Pursuit the other night, Taylor. The question
was, how many members
of the Fellowship of the Ring were there?
And we're just like,
nine.
Get out of here.
Obviously.
Obviously.
Clearly.
Then it's the other team's turn.
Then it's the other team's turn.
It's like,
this nation was the first to win the Little League Series
other than the United States.
And they're like,
the fuck?
No.
Cuba?
Korea. Dominican Republic. No. Cuba? Korea.
Dominican Republic.
No. Cuba was my first guess.
Keep going. China. Soviet Union.
Haiti. Nope.
I don't think Haiti wins much.
They got enough on their plate over there.
There's just baseball players for that area of the world.
I don't know. What is it?
Canada. Nope.
Mexico. There you go. You named them all.
Was it Mexico?
It was Mexico.
Huh. You know what? Good for Mexico.
Good for Mexico.
Are there a lot of Mexican MLB players?
I have no clue.
I don't know. It was like 1951 or something, 42 or something when they did that.
It was Little League World Series.
First non-US team.
Where's the most
got to be the USA.
Yeah, definitely USA.
You guys want to call it a show. My dinner
is ready. Same.
Same.
Okay, I'm going to set up
my own.
I guess I'll do fall guys.
All right. PKN
314.