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all right pkn 322 we were just talking about playing vermin tide tonight kyle what is it
that you wanted to let us know i had something to dispel well you thought that you were getting
left behind because your character was slower than everyone else's go on but all the characters
had the exact same speed that is not true it is it is not though i promise you it is i promise you i was walking how sure people were walking right past
me nothing people were walking right past me and you actually had the fastest character in the in
that lobby so wait all the characters are the same speed but my character is the fastest is
it because of his lunch that makes that gives your character like plus five percent uh speed
um and none of us would
use that because it's kind of off meta off meta okay like we've tested it we've all been like
like i played the dwarf like for a night because a bunch of people had like low characters so i
wasn't going to play my high character with them it didn't seem cool and i was like all right let's
all walk together and like we're all like pacing like step and step like walking infinitely jumping doesn't change your speed either i thought
there would be at least a little difference between like the slayer and the tank dwarf you
know maybe it's just the animation because the slayer dwarf always seems like he is booking it
um he's got like uh an attack animation that like moves him forward real quickly uh when
he's actually attacking not a special ability that's what i've been seeing you know there are
slayer players who will just run around and attack the entire time because i think that's faster they
get a little boost forward when they're on like the third swing of their axe the dwarf some of
the characters like super fast the slayer one we're talking about. The Slayer guy with the no shirt.
Yeah, the Dwarf Slayer.
There are YouTube videos of that guy not even fighting,
just using his super speed to get to the end of the map,
and he hardly gets any kills, but he beats the highest difficulty.
Yeah, we did some speed runs last night.
We equipped all of our characters to give them their boosts
so they could warp forward or go invisible or invulnerable and stuff and try to just run through all the
enemies and get to the end and uh that worked a couple of times but there's a few parts that'd
be fun to try i'll give that a go tonight if we do it i haven't done one of those yet well the
problem is there's a few parts of the map where it's like it puts up this green fire and it's
like no you can't go through this until you beat this boss.
And we're all equipped for speed running, not fighting anymore.
So the boss just wants.
Oh, that chaos lord on that rat map.
We don't have problem with bosses anymore.
It's the it's the chaos spawn.
That big googly monster with the tentacles like he's honestly the biggest problem we have in the game anymore yeah they're a lot more annoying than the rat ogres the rat ogres are pretty easy
it seems like you can lock those into an animation and just cheese them out i'm glad that you've once
again taken the initiative to learn everything about the game so we don't have to uh you wait
till they do their overhand double smash down uh and you time it just right you you um dash
backwards and then once he's landed it you
dash forward hit him and then he's going to do another one so you just dash backwards and dodge
it dash forward and hit him and you repeat that process i've seen that on youtube yeah but i i
didn't think it was easy to pull off it sounds like you've got the knack for it uh i wouldn't
say i got the knack see the only thing that if If I'm soloing him, I can, but the problem is that he aggros
on whoever's doing the most damage to him.
So if your buddy back there does his ult,
like Magic...
Like, Midi has this character called...
It's the Grail Knight, the DLC he bought,
and his sword, when he does his ult,
like, glows golden.
Like, it illuminates the whole area around him.
Like, he's got the fucking hand of god and like
does this three thousand damage fucking not more than three because my boat has three i don't know
it's like ten thousand or something like it takes a third of their health away and when that happens
he's like he doesn't care about me anymore he goes for midi or if somebody's shooting him with a bow
or something it's whoever's doing the most damage is who he zeroes in on seemingly are you beating uh heroic pretty consistently now um or so levels mixed up
so it's heroic is the one one after veteran veteran heroic and then champion probably i
haven't gone i haven't even played heroic yet yet. I've only gone Veteran. We beat Champion pretty consistently if everybody has the same level.
If everybody has the same level as me.
Legend is the second highest difficulty, and we've only beaten that once or twice.
Isn't the highest difficulty like...
Cataclysm.
You don't pick up any health, and everybody's mad at you and they hit really hard everything i remember reading
the descriptions of all the levels of difficulty and it's i like the way they do it like veterans
like the enemies are tough they're mad and they swing hard and you get up when it's like the
enemies are very tough they're very mad and they swing very hard and you get up to the tippity top
one it's like the aim the enemies are furious they are so
mad at you and they will let
you know every time
they will charge fast you have to play with paper cuts
between your fingers now
so there is no heroic
according to the wiki it goes
recruit veteran champion legend
cataclysm
there is no heroic I don't know why that's in my head
then champion is what I was imagining I said that's in my head. Then champion is what I was.
Whoever said it.
I said,
yeah,
that was my bad.
Yeah,
we,
um,
we beat,
I'm sorry.
Help me,
Woody.
What's between is a champion between veteran and legend,
right?
Right.
Yeah.
We be champion pretty easily now.
Like if we,
if we're all the same level and we,
we don't fuck around and don't talk.
We just like, meaning like you're all 35 plus level and we don't fuck around and don't talk, we just like focus.
Meaning like you're all 35 plus?
Not like 30.
Or 35?
30 plus.
30 plus.
I'm like a level 50 or 60 now.
Like it doesn't even count anymore.
It just says 35 plus 18 or something, which is weird.
Yeah, does that even help you?
Because I've got 35 plus one or two.
Oh, it gives you stat bonuses still?
It's increasing your hero power,
which is another stat.
They don't really explain very well,
but it's that big three-digit number
when you press I on the top left corner.
What does it mean?
It's how strong anything and everything you're going to do.
It's some sort of, I don't know the math.
There's a lot of math in the game,
but it's some sort of a multiplier
for everything that you do in-game.
What is your heroic? What's your level? Do you know what your number is? 600. sort of a multiplier for everything that you do in game. They recommend that you be...
What's your level?
600.
Right at 600. Maybe 590.
I think mine's lower fives, like 530.
Yeah.
You really need to be
650 to fuck around in Legend.
Everybody needs to be 650
to fuck around in Legend.
Well, then we won't be doing that.
I wouldn't recommend that at all. I'd recommend that we play
either Veteran or whatever's above
Veteran that I'm spaced out on.
I want to do a little grinding for some good
loot.
That's not going to happen. See, that's what we've been
trying to do. That's why we've been trying to play Legend.
The loot is capped off. We can't get red
weapons until we beat Legend
and get all of the chests.
And even then, we've got like a 5% chance each of getting a red weapon.
So basically, if you're grinding for loot and chests,
there's no point in going to Champion over Veteran
because you're going to get the same loot in both of those.
You have to jump all the way to the top.
I'd have to look at where the caps are for the chest
because it says it when you select it.
One of us has looked it up,
but I think it might be 300 weapon power,
whatever the fuck that means.
Veteran and champion are both 300.
Yeah.
It's only recruit that's 300.
I've been told that there is a better chance
of getting stuff if we play champions
because that's why we've
been playing champion but legend is just a goddamn nightmare i mean some of the maps we don't make it
more than 90 seconds in that doesn't sound fun it's really challenging um i we all got real pissed
off the other night like like somebody joined and they were like hey do you want to play any code
names and like three of us were all like, shut the fuck up. We're focusing
here. What the fuck are you coming in here talking
about fucking Codenames for? Can you not see
what we're doing here? We're working.
We're working. I'm on the clock.
We got to cry in 60 hours.
We were all pissed off. Are you still only
doing the Wood Elf for the most part or are you
like secondarily leveling up for
I'm just
playing i'm just playing the wood elf um for us to win i have to play the wood elf someone has to
play a high level dwarf and someone really needs to play a um a character who has a very powerful
like overhand swing to deal with the chaos knights that you're going to run into because at at um
champion level i cannot deal with uh chaos
nights anymore not multiples i can deal with one no problem but if there's three plus a horde i
can't deal with that so we've got to have a guy who can just like to hit the chaos crowd control
guy well i'm crowd control i can that makes sense i got a thousand kills one game like just
thinning the crowd while they deal with the,
and the specials.
My thing is kind of like thinning the crowd and dealing with all the
specials.
The zealot guy does a good job with the flail against those rats,
red rats with the iron helmets.
There's like one in every two or three of his hits are just over.
The guy with the flail is very important.
He's,
he's kind of a key to most of our wins.
It seems like,
cause he's good at almost everything. He's, he's key to most of our wins it seems like because he's good at
almost everything except for
dealing with the specials.
I want to say he gives up his ranged weapon
and so does Midi when he's got his Grail Knight
with the crazy magical sword.
The Zealot guy
has ranged weapon.
He can fuck around with ranged. He gets
crossbows and the dual pistols.
I think our guy was doing something where he had a flail and a sword in one each hand or something and yeah he
has one setup that's a hand axe and a sword and it's just like double armor piercing damage i like
to flail a little more though because you can just wind that up and like take out six people it seems
you get like witch king whole crowds of people speaking of which uh of gaming
and lord of the rings that just came up totally organically is i bought lord of the rings battle
for middle earth 2 a used version off amazon because you can't buy it anywhere it's like he
only get physical copies of this shit and it arrived today and i'm so excited to get this
downloaded multiplayer yeah it is multiplayer it's like such so excited to get this downloaded. Is it multiplayer? Yeah, it is multiplayer.
It's like such a hurdle to get.
It was like $50, and that was the cheapest one used in quote good condition.
Holy shit, this one's $150.
Yeah, yeah.
But that's Battle of Middle-Earth 2 plus Rise of the Witch King.
And I was like, I'm not paying $160 for both of those.
I'll just get Battle of Middle-Earth 2, and I'll try and find Rise of the Witch King, the expansion.
Is it an RTS? It's an RTS
game where you...
It's a bunch of... You would love it. This game...
RTS, you say? Yeah, I got so fucking
into it. And so you can basically... I think there is
the elves, Gondor,
and the dwarves on the good
faction side. Or you can be
goblins, Isengard, or Mordor.
And so like... it's similar to agent mythology and i haven't played this in so fucking long so this is a memory from
16 years ago and basically like like the the goblins were like the zerg rush basically like
really strong early game just fucking try and pummel them meanwhile like mordor super shitty
early game but by the end of it you've got if you survived
you've got hordes of like armored trolls doing ludicrous amounts of damage that they just can't
stop you uh I think you can get the the mumma kill like those big elephants in a couple and
if you get rise of the witch king you get to a point where you can summon Sauron if you're playing
one of the bad guys and once you summon Sauron, it's almost like a
titan, remember from
mythology? Except it's the same
thing as the beginning of Lord of the
Rings where you can zoom in on him and you just
hear like the
killing crowds of people.
So I haven't bought
a PC game, like a hard copy
in like a really long time. Don't they come
with a key that's
required to like activate
it? Like I don't even have a CD-ROM. Wait a minute.
Never mind. I don't have a CD-ROM.
I know. I bought an external CD-ROM.
You're kidding me.
This has turned into a rather expensive
video game to play. I know, but
I really wanted to. It was like 60 bucks for the
external CD-ROM and then...
Who are you going to play with i mean
if i have to play alone i will it's just it'll be fun it'll be i'll look into i'll look into the
cost of an external how much was the external cd it was like 50 bucks or maybe like we're talking
about like a 200 venture here no no i bought the 48 rise not right so one without so it's a hundred
dollar venture for this game from i I think, 2004, 2005.
But it was a really good RTS game.
That's why there's still posts on Reddit
in like 2020 being like,
anybody know how to get this game?
And it's like,
and I was watching some YouTube video
and some guy's like,
oh, hello, everyone.
Welcome to my 47-minute video
of all 75 files you need
to compile your own version for metal earth and i'm
like amazon please wait do you have a link to that dutch guy because i can compile files
no it was just it was such an ordeal the way he was making a sound he's like and don't be
intimidated in just an hour and a half in just an hour and a half, you two in just an hour and a half, you two
will be a tenth of the way to playing
the first person in the game.
Are you also unemployed?
Do you have nothing to do?
I got
things to do. I can't do this.
Are you also unemployed?
I was doing this at like 3pm yesterday
and I was like, I don't have time to do this.
But yeah, I'm looking forward to getting that installed and playing it.
That should be fun.
A big news came out from Fat Shark, who's the developer of Vermintide, like three days ago.
Their next game is going to be Warhammer 40K, essentially Vermintide.
You're going to be one of four Space Marine type guys.
Not the giant armored guys, but sort of like foot soldiers.
It's going to be class-based, and you're going to be dealing with an infected hive.
That's sick.
In the 40K universe.
So it'll be just like Vermintide, except first-person shooter with melee as well.
When's it coming out?
2021, next year. That'll be fun. I'm glad you turned us on to this game, Woody. Vermintide's first person shooter with melee as well. When's it coming out? 2021, next year.
That'll be fun. I'm glad you
turned us on to this game, Woody. Vermintide's a lot of fun.
Yeah.
Kyle, you wanted
to tell me why the fire character was the
worst because ranged weapons seem
really attractive to me. Why is she bad?
She has the coolest looking attacks.
I will say that if that means anything.
The only things that are good for her are her healing. She has the coolest looking attacks. I will say that if that means anything. The only things that are good for her are her healing.
She has an ability to, when she heals, it heals everyone around her a little bit.
So that's really crucial when we're getting the grimoires.
So when you pick up these, there's two books in every map.
You pick them up and it halves your health each time, your potential health.
So when we've got both
of them picked up we've got like the slither of health like like 25 of normal so her passive
healing is is huge her ability to like when she heals herself it heals everyone around her that's
a big deal because health is also rare in those higher levels and then and then she can also throw
this bomb at the ground that damages you one xp but gives you like 30 xp of temporary health which is huge and like a big horde fight but the range stuff is is is fine but
she doesn't do as ranged as well as i do and she doesn't do melee as well as anyone else so she's
constantly like this like i don't know she's like best of nothing kind of character like like she's good at a few things
but not great at anything and the fire attacks are so fucking annoying blinding everybody just
bombs going off oh and she overheats i don't know exactly how this mechanic works because
i've never played her but our fire mage who is um uh i don't know level 35 he's played many many
hours he's constantly overheating and exploding
and killing himself. He's like,
I need to vent. Find me a boss. I need
to vent. And I'm like,
the fuck are you talking about?
Too late.
The only category I could
lead in, because you're getting
most kills, most damage. Taylor would
get most melees. I just got most
revised by picking
up our fire mage all the time you can get oh look who's the team player
so what's the the four you know the god i feel so so i feel like at the top level the people
who play cataclysm they use the wraith instead of the the the elf that i'm using but i can't
use that ray that i have had a lot of trouble with that um so the wraith to the viewers has
a special power where she can like become a ghost walk through hordes of people without being
disturbed and then attack from that new spot so when you're dealing with a big bad guy or
horde of people
you suddenly sort of pop up on the direction they're not looking get a few attacks and that
wraith ability recharges when you attack so the meta is hit hit disappear come around from behind
hit hit hit now you recharge you can do it again disappear come from behind hit it hit now you're
recharged and you just repeat that um i'm not saying i can do it but i've seen it on youtube a whole bunch
and uh it looks op but i guess it's hard yeah it well the the problem is if i'm doing that
and there's nobody to thin the herd like it's one thing to fight because the pink
fucking rats are no big deal you can find an infinite number of those they
never take the team down the problem is when you're fighting those plus like 12 storm vermin
with halberds and and like four plague monks and all the specials swarming around and my character
can kind of i can i deal with i'll get like 50 fucking special kills a game i'm killing all the
specials and i'm killing all the pink rats and so everybody else can kind of, I can, I deal with, I'll get like 50 fucking special kills a game. I'm killing all the specials and I'm killing all the pink rats.
And so everybody else can kind of focus on doing their armor piercing damage, which is
where I'm weakest at.
But when I play the wraith, then I'm kind of with them trying to take on the storm vermin
and stuff.
And the next thing everybody's like, what level are we playing on?
Why are there so many?
And I'm like, cause, cause I didn't, cause I'm not getting a thousand kills this game
killing. on why are there so many i'm like because i didn't because i'm not getting a thousand kills this game killing like i literally got a thousand kills one game because i'm just i'm and that's a thousand
people that nobody else even had to see you're bringing a gun to a knife fight right your
character has seemingly endless arrows and from rain she just wrecks people not good at armor i
guess but those like unarmored pink guys my character one shot them and i try to line them
up so i five shot them like one shot i'll kill five of them at a time it's great the character
he's talking about our armored pink guys i'm not sure i'm talking about the storm vermin the guys
the black rats the ones that show up with a shield and either a halberd or a big long sword
and they show up in numbers and they are armored and they're like a medium
tier you've heard him yeah um uh was i gonna say my guy has a gun that does tremendous damage if
you have like a rat ogre or something like it does 5 000 a shot but at 16 shots you run out in a hurry
you can't use that for crowd thinning yeah yeah it's uh there's a character just regenerates ammunition as you
kill people right there's some ways to make it do that but they are giving up way too much if i'm
doing that uh the the main thing that i use to get more ammo is every time i kill a special
with my special ability i get 30 arrows so i try to be the one that's killed that's killing all the
specials like every time i hear one i'm searching it out to get more arrows which is huge right like when you think about what
what ruins the team right what makes things really fall apart one of the worst things that can happen
is a special drags a teammate away right now now we've got a whole new problem we have to get
ourselves over to that guy maybe have to maybe have to revive you like it takes out storm
the one that makes that fucking green whirlwind yep oh that's the worst especially when you fly
out of it and then you're just in a chasm somewhere else because every character's kind of op compared
to any one of the other guys but if you drag one character away and put them in a crowd now
now we've lost
two people because kyle's rescuing whoever and that whoever's not helping and it yeah specials
and your and your raid yeah i try i i'm mostly on special detail and uh and clearing the long
lines of hordes that that come but we found that like we if we pick up the pace and we don't
doddle we were like we don't take these moments like all right let's all catch our breath there
is no kind of catching your breath there are moments between where it might seem like you've
reached a checkpoint but that doesn't exist in this game we found what's really happening is
there's a timer ticking down until the next horde arrives so if we fucking get on our horse and go
we'll avoid that horde or we'll be in the next
like checkpoint not checkpoint but um there are these areas of no return where you like go down
a step that you can't get back up let's get down there and move along let's not fight them here
because if we just sit here they'll just come infinitely before i played with you so i played
this game before you guys did and i imagined myself telling you guys hey
time is health it doesn't seem like it right in most games you clear out the area in that area
becomes safe in this game even a very good player takes a little damage you know from a
horde or something yeah so time is health you have to keep moving if you walk slowly then you're
losing your health and what actually happened was I was slower than everyone.
And I'm just like walking, trying to keep up.
And Kyle says my character is the same speed.
Like, I guess that's, I don't know why.
People were literally walking away from me while I was keeping up.
Like maybe one of my weapons or armor slows me down or something.
I wonder if when you did the speed test,
you use the same version of the guy that I did.
I don't know.
Or maybe I'm wrong.
Like that could be true too,
but I definitely have struggled to keep up.
Yeah.
Uh,
just got,
it's,
it,
you can get left behind,
you know,
if you dawdle for a second and you don't notice that everybody else has
decided to just move along and if they didn't say anything,
it can be easy to get left behind.
Um,
and that is
no no fun that's no fun at all if you're if you look up and everybody you can see the characters
outline this green outline through walls and stuff it helps you keep track of your team
and you're like oh no it's so far away you're just green specs i thought i had a pixel dead
but that's you huh it's it's no good when that happens yeah i was constantly
trying to grind for for those red weapons and no dice how many do you have none none none of us have
any um because you even when you do like what's very hard for us to do you've only got a five
percent chance each to get one out of your three crates that you then open and it takes us about 20 minutes to to clear
a level on the hard difficulty on um we've only beaten legend a handful of times like maybe three
i have one it's not a weapon though it's like a red amulet or something like it's one of the
non-weapon it's not the one you want your sword to be the red one in my case it's not that it's
something else it's like a necklace yeah don't listen to me and do this but i know obviously if you grind up
in the salvage thing enough red things you could create a red thing but i don't know how much like
red currency or dust or magic goo you get from grinding that your one red necklace chances are
you grind it up and be like all right now you need 30 more and you can make a sword and you feel like well i kind of like that amulet
yeah right also it increases your hero power like it the things you have is part of that calculation
so now all the other what is the highest chest a champion's chest like a emperor's vault or
something like that they're not chests anymore they become vaults the
one you get for leveling up what is that commendation commendation chest that's just kind
of like a hey have have one of these yeah you get better shit in there than no commendation chest is
no joke it's a good one and i think it's where i got my red but i'm not positive on that in any
case what you get from those chests is based on your hero power so having that red one
suddenly made everything else come in a little better hmm yeah it's a really fun game it's it's
it's gotten rather addictive for me and a few of the other guys over there in the discord
maybe tonight's our night maybe we'll get a red maybe we'll all have not in this group no no no
maybe kyle and his talented friends could get a red but we're gonna tone it down tonight we'll all have not in this group no no no maybe kyle and his talented friends could get a
red but we're gonna tone it down tonight we'll have some fun that's all i'll have you know i
am serviceable we're gonna have some fun tonight that's what we're gonna try to have that's what
we're gonna get we're gonna have a good i think i gotta level up my dwarf maybe i'd enjoy the dwarf
he also has a range weapon on one of the levels so maybe i'd enjoy
having him the dwarf has some cool range weapons he's got those dual pistols that are cool he's
got that big flamethrower that uh that can be cool if you rank it up enough uh one of the
characters that might be the witch hunter i don't know has a fully automatic pistol that's that's
pretty nutty i think i it's a pain though like um it's like rotary barrels yeah yeah i used that last game
have you tried it i've seen it used uh on youtube but of course when you watch someone on youtube
use it they've got like the uber version and they've teched their character out to like
make it as good as it can be so the challenge is there's an animation that goes i don't want to
exaggerate it might be three seconds where he
like pulls the you switch to your gun you take it out he starts spinning it and then he puts it on
and you're like well the thing i intended to shoot is either dead already or it's moved on
or sometimes like top of you punching i love it or there's a vulnerable little like you know oh
the back of his neck has no armor or whatever it is. And that, a target is gone now.
I could have shot you four seconds ago.
Yeah.
But no, that's an eternity in this kind of game.
It's a cool fucking game.
I like it a lot.
It's very addictive.
It's like Left 4 Dead, but infinitely better,
which is only fair because it's like 15 years newer.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm torn.
Like, as a guy who dabbles in it lately like left for dead's
kind of cool because you all come in every character is exactly the same you're all the
same like it's equal it's the only difference between them is class system okay yeah so in
this there's a class system and not only that but like if a new player who was very good had
a new character then he wouldn't be able to play with you right he he
can't play it down for those guys yeah you would have to right so on left for dead on the other
hand you just walk in and everyone can play yeah that's true that's true yeah because it um it even
locks them out like you have to have a combined hero power of x amount to like or maybe it's an
average hero power to get into like the various difficulty
levels so but so we you know if someone comes in with a level one character i'll just switch to
like a completely different character we'll all play level ones let's assume shroud is good in
his first game he's already good right because he's shroud he wouldn't be good in this game
because it would take him a while to have a reasonable character but left for dead truck could walk in and be the best in your party on his first try
because that's all very true the grind of leveling though like i like the grind i like the grind in
every game yeah i like because like right now the thing one of the things that's making me i'm going
to play right after this and one of the reasons why is i really want to get that red weapon i
mean like i said if you if you guys jump on,
we'll play like fucking veteran or champion or something like that,
like something reasonable.
Like there's no need to be trying to play Legend.
It's frustrating.
No one will have fun.
It's not fun.
Let's do the fun option.
When we play Legend, we're not like,
hey, guys, you want to have a fun game of Legend?
It's like, all right.
Everybody's sober, right?
I can't have anybody drinking. How many times have you beat legend three nobody's eating snacks while we're trying to play yeah three i wonder and so i've beaten legend much
more than that and i'm now i'm like how carried was i i thought i was a contributing member of
that team you know like it and when i play when i played the legend
i would um you know make sure not to be like the team fuck up right try not to need to be picked up
uh just do your job don't do jobs that aren't yours and uh and don't foul it up but now i'm
like i wonder if i was like the retarded child they dragged along i don't know i looked at
a chart the other day like how much xp the bosses have like based on the difficulty level and i'm
recruit it's like 800 xp and then by the time you get the legend it's like 8 000 xp oh god like
we'll just rain hell and can you see a boss like that like can i can i look up how many times i've
beaten legend or do you have to just go by memory memory oh yeah i don't think there's any stat for that like okay i don't think
yeah all right there might be an achievement that you could they could use as a benchmark
maybe if you got an achievement for beating um being you know there's there's achievements that
are based around that sort of thing but it's not like it's keeping a counter per se.
It'll be like beat every map on Legend is an achievement, I would say.
Right. Yeah, I could look at that.
We've been trying to play mostly the same maps over and over
because we memorize what to do.
But even then, it's a nightmare.
It's real hard. Then we'll stick to veteran and
and have a veteran we'll fucking destroy yeah at this point veteran's not a challenge at all
um you know what might be the tactic taylor if i don't know if you maybe you want to use your
same character but if i'm using the dwarf who i think is not ranked up which is weird because
i feel like maybe when i reinstalled it i lost something i'm not sure but anyway um if kyle were to carry me in like champion then i would rank up faster that's true
i don't even i don't know if you get more xp for beating recruit or veteran than you do recruit i
think it's the same shit it seems like the get collecting the books is the only way to get more
xp we get all those books um if we play screaming bell like we can get the books is the only way to get more XP. We get all those books.
If we play Screaming Bell, we can get the books really, really quickly and efficiently.
Screaming Bell is my favorite map.
You don't even have a boss there.
You've got a rat over at the end.
Do you run downhill to the exit?
Right near the end, you have to chop cut these chains off of a gargantuan bell.
Oh, yeah. Like this big of a house.
That one's easier.
Then you go down a hole after a rat ogre pops through that hole to give you an exit,
and you just run for the exit.
Do you even have to kill the rat ogre?
No.
No.
Is there any way to kill the rat ogre?
I wouldn't think so.
You can loot die.
Oh, loot die, yeah.
Have you gotten any YouTubers who play in this game?
Yeah.
There's a Dutch guy named Party Knife who is hard to fucking tolerate.
But he's got the best information, and his videos are so high effort.
I appreciate all he does, but that Dutch accent and his personality are grating.
There's a redheaded guy, if I recall correctly.
I forget his name. it might start with a
g and uh he was not only very very good maybe the best but he was tied in with the developers like
every time he saw a bug or something he'd take a note and pass it on to them and i wonder if
you're still making content some of the people who i already watch because of total war warhammer 2
the rts game obviously they play this too because it's the same universe and you know with the
skaven and everything so some of them do it milk and cookies something something for the win is a
youtuber who i like and uh he uh he does both so i've watched some of his content but party knife
is who i go to for information because he'll have hour long
videos about minutia.
I tried to watch one.
It was,
I was,
it was like the,
the amount of math and spreadsheets he was using.
It's like,
dude,
just tell me,
just out loud,
say,
use this weapon because X,
Y,
Z,
just say that.
He's so into it.
He can't because because because he'd be
like well you shouldn't use the foil well the foil is great because xyz but the the armor piercing
combo you get here is so good so i did a deep dive on it and it's like just tell me i don't want to
watch the next 10 minutes yeah his video on push block angle is like 40 minutes long oh that sounds awful i'd rather i'd rather be
worse at blocking you're not the target audience one thing i had to explain to my team last night
like the guys that have been playing with dozens of hours they didn't realize that if you're holding
block you just can't it blocks from 360 degrees it's a sphere a perfect sphere of blocking you
don't have to look at who's swinging at you does blocking work when it doesn't work which is a dumb question but like a rat ogre for example
seems to bash right through it did it help a little yes okay yeah and obviously and when you
run out of stamina which is represented by the shields on your screen um you can no longer push
block and uh and and so those are pretty important
does the block still work though when you're running a stamina uh yeah i think so um just no
no no it wouldn't would it no i don't i don't think it will i think you've got to continue
to build that stamina up by swinging and uh and pumping block you're Yeah. The armor dwarf with the shield
seems like his stamina comes back almost immediately.
He's got like seven stamina shields anyway.
Like his whole...
I've got three.
Like I got three little shields on my shield.
For like 40 seconds,
which in this game is a long time to be taking a beating,
and then you'll be panicking
and you'll look at his health and it's like 70.
The other thing we figured out,
that map that we were playing where we died over and over,
when that Minotaur comes out at the end.
Bastard, yeah.
We beat that so easy now.
We figured that out.
You don't fight the Minotaur.
You don't have to.
You just break those staffs of power that they're throwing down.
You break either three or maybe four,
and the Minotaur drops fucking dead.
Oh, he just dies?
Yeah.
And you get the loot die anyway? Yeah. Oh, oh he just dies yeah you get the loot die anyway
yeah oh i don't know if you get the loot die but fuck that fuck fighting a minotaur
that is a lot easier than fighting the minotaur he was really good he regenerates and he's
enormous he's like this he's the hardest boss in the game not boss but like i don't know what you
call those type characters extra special extra special he is extra special uh like the rat ogre is the easiest and
then uh there's there's one guy who like has dual flamethrowers on his arms that blow that shoot
that green shit like and uh he's pretty easy what but the uh the chaos spawn that big pink googly
cocksucker with the wavy arms he's the hardest except for maybe the minotaur what's the map
where you go from like farmhouse to farmhouse in the second half?
You find yourself on the second floor of a hay barn.
I remember that.
Yeah.
You start off going through a hay field, maybe, right at the very beginning.
Probably.
I think you rescue a lot of prisoners in it.
Yeah, that's one of the first ones.
I remember that.
Yeah, that's a medium difficulty map i enjoy that one that's the one that we tried uh legend on like eight times in
a row and just got out man with that they just keep coming yeah we fought our way through the
hayfield and we're all just on death's door and we got over the wall to the barn and we're all
expecting like listeners he's 15 through this thing on desk door like he's
oh not even that oh no 10 we're three or five percent through
that's generous that's the first field you're talking about right yeah
you get to like the initial houses 1.8 percent way through that we just started like on any other
difficulty it's like a five mile course yeah yeah we've got a long long way to go we just started like on any other difficulty it's like a five mile course
yeah yeah we've got a long long way to go we hop over the wall to the barn and we're expecting
health pots and ammunition and because that's where they are like like and we look around the
corner and there's literally eight chaos spawn walking in formation oh oh no the chaos knights the big armored cocksuckers with the giant
that's where um we quit i imagine i'm talking out of my depth here but if you had the wraith
ability like that's the big thing that the guru that i watched on youtube was like it's not really
about how much damage you do it's about how much damage you avoid you know it's the ability to
live without getting hurt.
Yeah.
But the thing is,
everybody else will be dead.
Right.
And then it's you.
He plays solo a lot,
and I think it might warp his perspective a touch.
He beats these solo maps on Cataclysm,
which for people listening,
again,
recruit veteran champion legend Cataclysm legend the second hardest one is the
one that kyle's talking about as being impossible to beat with four guys he beats cataclysm solo
and it's although does he do true solo which is where you don't bring the bots
right okay so he has a quarter of the enemies to deal with
okay so he has a quarter of the enemies to deal with really are you yeah i'm not now i'm questioning it i think did he kill the other p can you kill
your team he might kill him at the start i'm bothered i bring the ai with me because they
can be helpful i think he kills the ai at the start of the match you can't team kill
how do you can on cataclysm it would be so hard he'd have to use
all of his ammo yeah because he may lays them they don't fight back maybe i can't melee them
well then i'm not sure i look i could be wrong on this but you can set it up so that they don't come
you can just do that maybe he's doing that and only getting a shirt but anyway he's soloing
cataclysm and uh to hear it sounds like if you guys probably don't know this game
listening but to hear it sounds super over the top impressive but to see it you're like oh i get it
i do that he cheeses right like he he's he's in like god mode half the time with this wraith power
walking through crowds of enemy that would hurt anyone else and they ignore him he gets behind him slash slash
now his god power is back again and he just does that and i get it you have to be flawless you know
if they get you one time you're doomed especially i think the elf gets hurt faster like she has less
um less health less health or just less she has less health she has less blocking she has less health. She has less blocking. She has less everything. It's sort of a speed, an agility class, but man, he makes it look good.
So we've all installed a few mods. It's very easy. We just download them from the workshop
and it literally takes five minutes to do. And it's just click this, click that, and you've got
them. And some of them are rather helpful. Like one of them is a, is a numeric user interface.
So instead of just having a green bar of health,
you've got a green bar of health with numbers on it.
So,
you know,
Oh,
I've got 57 HP.
I've got 46 HP,
which can be helpful.
Sometimes it's nice to know whether you have 45 or 55 and they look similar.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's,
it'll,
it'll show you mine shows me how much
ammo all my teammates have and how much their health is and how much the things they might need
or who's in the most need um i got a bunch of mods like maybe a dozen one of them shows me my
ammo all the time even when i've got my melee out which i find very helpful because sometimes i
would switch to my bow and it'd be like oh no you got no juice in the cannon
but the mods
are super helpful and some of them just do
one of them makes your
weapons be covered in blood and you
decide how much blood you want on your weapons
it just makes it look cool
now you're talking now I'm interested
all that other shit
I don't really care about it
the intro you know things like that
that i mean you just hold a doesn't bother me too much yeah but you never see it again
the intro okay yeah so does everyone need that how does that work no you don't need it it's it's
it's uh it's client-based you know how do you skip the oh it's the intro to the game when you
load the game up. Oh, okay.
Every raid people listening has an intro as well.
I thought he was skipping that.
Yeah, yeah.
You could probably skip that too, but I haven't.
I like those.
I like when he gives you that little talk into,
Burble spew hail scorg is set up shop down by the shire.
Here's where I hate it.
He's got a poxy of rot bloods doing his bidding,
and that's none too good
all right imagine that and then like whatever you try it four minutes later you're dead
hoggle splot guys done too good you're like oh i know and then a third time and a fourth time
and the ninth time you're trying this you're like like, shut up. I want Adam again. Put me back in, coach.
I'm trying to beat this kid.
And you're giving me your haggle, roggle, smock, spiel every time.
Haggle, spiel, hail, scurge.
It's like a punishment to me to have to listen.
Now, the first time, tell me the lore.
I want to know.
Or even the first time today. But lore i want to know or even the first time today
but the fourth ninth time in a row that's why everyone's getting grumpy
that's not why everyone's getting contributing force i'm sticking with my help we've gotten
grumpy we've everybody like we've all gotten real upset before um not at any one person though like
that's one thing we don't get mad at
each other because i feel like we're all doing a good job anyway it's not it's not like why did
you do that it's like why is the game this way that i feel like co-op games are good that way
it's one of the fun aspects of co-op games like you know even if what like i feel like everyone's
giving their best everyone has the team in mind
everyone like we're all on the same mission their same goal i'll say like it creates a more fun
dynamic to me uh yeah even if one guy fouls up or something it's not hard to be like oh we're all
cheering for if we're all dead and there's one guy left, we're all cheering for him. It was just me left last night, and one of the guys is live casting my gameplay.
He's like, we don't know how he got to this tournament.
He doesn't have a team behind him.
He doesn't even have a coach, and he doesn't really have much of an idea what he's doing right now.
He's going back into the market.
Yes, back into the market with the full horde behind him.
Oh, I've never seen this before.
Okay, he's invisible now. He's invisible invisible that is ill-advised leave me alone
am i making bad moves second guessing yourself yeah oh a thing happened i guess the patreon hit
the animation level now we have to hire an animator and do clips or something.
I don't know where to fucking start.
My Twitch chat said to interview people from Fiverr.
That's hilarious.
I think maybe we thought this would never happen.
Oh, I'm down.
This is no big deal.
Oh, well, you're in charge.
Okay.
I'm not free of charge.
No, no, you're in charge, I said.
Oh, I'm in charge.
I'm in charge of the cum, all right?
I'm on cum duty, though.
No, no, I'd like to be also very involved on the cum duty.
Well, you could be taste tester.
You're cum contact.
You're cum contact.
I want to get into retail distribution.
I have been doing a lot of self-experimentation.
I've added five new compounds.
I'm taking a double handful of pills every day.
Somebody wrote me on Reddit with cum advice.
Now, I don't mean, I'm sure Kyle's a subject matter expert,
but hang in there.
I'm opening the message.
I almost want to go get my bottles of pills so I can hold them up each time you read one off that he might suggest.
So actually, more than one person has written me about cum.
Same here.
I was listening to the most recent episode where you guys were discussing building a load-increasing supplement.
I'm a biology major in my final year of college.
If you guys need help with the science behind figuring out a formula, I might be able to assist you, as well as finding good additives and fillers to make unique products. Another guy.
This is a good idea.
Seriously, I have some information that can help bring this idea to fruition.
I'm graduating from NC State this semester with a bachelor's in biology, concentrating in human bio.
I'm pre-med he goes on uh he talks
about how the fda doesn't really regulate this kind of thing and oftentimes they don't even have
what's in them but that's not our goal um who else wrote this guy says we need an enzyme that
improves flavor and it's called bromelain uh anyway so i've had three people write me with cum advice
okay that's that's actually i've been i've been looking into the flavoring already but um i'll
add that to the list so um i'll get you i talked to derrick a lot about this um he's going to be
able to facilitate almost everything um he just wants to know you know what i want in it and then
he had some suggestions of his own which i actually added to what i'm already doing um um i won't go into it but uh it's a bunch of a bunch of pills a bunch
of pills i'm taking i'm gonna see what works and then i'm gonna talk to him about what uh what he
thinks we could add and then well i think he'll be able to facilitate everything i think he'll be
able to make a product i messaged him earlier i'm like yeah i'm ready to move forward with this
thing just let me know what you need from me. I wonder how, because it would be a cocktail of pills.
Yeah. Yeah. It'll be, it'll either be pouch or something. It'll either have to be pouches of
pills or multiple bottles of pills all under the same brand label. Wouldn't it be nice? Why can't
it be one pill or maybe one pill that you take four of because the pill would be um this big
so i considered that that's where the take four of thing came in right like oh a dosage on this
is for like like when you take motrin you probably take between two and four so that you don't take
it'd be more expensive to source manufacturing for something like that because then you'd
whatever derek says is the cheapest and the best way to do it for all i know combining
selenium with l-arganine creates a poison right if you compress them together and leave them in
a bottle for six okay guys hear me the the bottle is safe but it's a bit of a bomb when you put your
stomach acid on it yeah yeah like for all i know like combining those
those ingredients together into a compressed pill and then letting that sit on a shelf for
like you know two years has created something we don't want guys guys hear me out your loads are
going to be enormous but your breath is like mustard gas so so you're weaponized one of the guys in uh in the in the 50 patron uh was was watching us play
the other day and he was we were talking about jizz you know as we do every night now and uh
he was like yeah my girlfriend says mine burns she won't let me come inside her because it burns
except on her on my birthday and then she's like just do whatever you want and we were discussing
like what could
make his cum burn a depressing relationship a very depressing relationship and uh i think that
maybe uh she's allergic to his cum they need to get that worked out well i'm excited for the
the lock and load pill i've been thinking of ideas for packaging and dude,
I,
all of that.
My initial thought was like,
Oh yeah,
we'll,
we'll like whip up a web store or something.
And it's like,
no,
there should be on Amazon prime.
People should be,
we should ship the product there.
We'll sit on their warehouse,
the warehouse,
sit on the shelves.
The best way to do it.
Seller central.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it could be on Amazon, but I think the best way to do it seller central account yeah i think it could be
on amazon but i think the best way to do it is just do it straight through derrick's like website
as well like like put it on there and let him i mean we can design the packaging but like i think
he can do everything i think like like this is what he already does you know making he's got his
he's got like three different pre-workouts and two or three like nootropics and sleep aid and a bunch of other stuff.
Like he's done a bunch of this.
I'm happy for it to be there.
Yeah, yeah.
We do have to follow through with this.
But I feel like if it's on Amazon Prime, then it can be like a bigger – it can be bigger than the show.
Yeah, his stuff is on Amazon Prime.
Oh, no.
We can list it in those places.
Yeah, yeah.
Definitely.
It's just Amazon Prime. Oh, no, we can list it in those places. Yeah, yeah. Definitely. It's just a link.
Taylor's eventually going to get it on CVS and Rite Aid shelves.
That'd be nice.
Can you imagine?
Yes, I can imagine.
Look, Harley got his dumbass jerky on Walmart shelves.
We can get our dumbass Lock and Load there, too.
I'm in the jizz, bitch.
I go in with a porn star mustache
and like like beatnik glasses get the hell out of my office guys i feel it i got one more million
in me this is gonna be it we're all gonna make our million off this you know how hard it would
be i'm just imagining right now if if let's say this takes off on Amazon or something, and we make a case, like we make, I make us like a little PowerPoint or whatever. And I get an appointment through some contacts or something with CVS supplement, the buyer for the supplement section or the buyer for health or whatever it would be.
would be and i have to and of course it's going to be a woman and i have to go in there and make a case that they need to provide shelving for a come increasing supplement that would be the
you know if i'm be the peak of your career taylor you wondered what oh that would be my
my god you've done it we're putting it full distribution if we got full distribution on
any item in cvs the amount of overhead this is going to take we can all quit the show
there's no limit to how big we can create look there's advertising where you just tell people
about your product and then there's marketing where you create the desire.
People didn't even know they wanted this until we came along.
True.
And we've cornered the market.
No one else, and maybe for good reason, has decided to pursue this.
But, I mean, we should do it.
We've got a built-in group of people who have already expressed interest in it.
It's hilarious.
But I mean, we should do it. We got a built-in group of people who've already expressed interest in it.
It's hilarious.
And it's interesting enough that
other people will talk about it.
Like there will be
some post on Reddit that gets
attention or like a Twitter
thread. There's so much
potential. Yeah, we want advertising on porn
websites. That's where we want our advertising.
Oh yeah, yeah. I was thinking about that. Literally
I was thinking about that. Maybe just for the lulz. No, yeah. I was thinking about that. Literally was thinking about that. Maybe just for the walls.
No, no.
Our faces, just right there.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
I was thinking about that.
With just ropes in the foreground.
I was like, you know,
I really hope Kyle and Woody aren't set
on having their faces on this product
because no man is going to buy it.
You absolutely have to have your face in the product.
Well,
all our faces on the front.
Kyle and I discussed it.
We want your face on it.
Taylor,
you're the face of this product.
We'll have a pamphlet with your face on it that'll fold out a few times.
That's honestly hilarious.
See,
we can make a joke if we want.
And that's great. I don't think that's really going to We can make a joke if we want. And that's great.
That's really going to cut into the overhead
if we have a spreadsheet
of your skull on the back.
But look,
I don't think it's going to be that big of a deal.
I think some people are going to want it.
Some people aren't.
A bunch of people have messaged me
wanting to pre-order it.
Everybody keeps asking me about it. Sky's the limit.
But I just think it's funny.
We talked about it on the show, so we should do it.
And it seems easy to facilitate the whole thing.
And it really does work.
My loads are gargantuan.
Really, you guys are going to be surprised.
This shit does work.
I'm looking forward to little passages on the back of the bottle
where it's about the product
and how it was invented.
Just making that the most retarded shit
but like like talking about the history of it like making it up
like proud company since 19 lies on our product it'll all be in the bottom two like this is not
actually a product from 1903 i'm kidding i'm the dawn of man
since the dawn of man we should put like lock and load since 2021 as if that were a long time
some old-timey font you know i have some weathering on it the old ejaculate increase yield that's beautiful people have used these supplements since the
civil war and it's like trump versus biden people who are dead like florence nightingale first used
the product no i'm really not down with anything untrue these need to be actual testimonials at
yeah totally totally facetious about all that.
I know you can't. Can you imagine how
we don't want the National Advertising Division of
the FDA coming after us?
That would be a huge ordeal. We don't want that.
So we'll be honest about everything.
The person who told that to you was right, Woody. The FDA
doesn't give two fucks about supplements.
They don't test
for anything. All you have to do is do
stability testing to make sure that it's still what you say it is after 8 10 12 months on the shelf which crucial
is that we have happy customers like i yeah we need a little word of mouth spread everyone's
gonna buy it at some point it's good this is gonna be fun yeah it's good i uh you know i
messaged him a couple hours ago i'm sure he'll get back to me either tonight or tomorrow.
We'll move forward with the thing.
I don't know how long it'll take, but it's going to be in his hands.
Men with normal size loads will be viewed as second class members of this society. At some point, if you're not on some ejaculate increasing supplement, then women are going to be like, really?
No.
This is what a normal ejaculate looks like
yeah the guys who time passed you by old man girls are gonna be like what the fuck a teaspoon
i'm a tablespoon kind of woman it's like yeah wow i thought i did a better job than that this
is the last time we're fucking right this could be you yeah that's that's gonna be you
oh can we have a pre-roll ad how much is it dude pre-roll ads it so basically uh youtube has a
thing built in so you know how after five seconds you can skip if they skip you're not charged for
that impression and so basically the smart thing that a lot of people are doing now
is you get your entire message across in the first five seconds.
So that like, but you're, you know.
They're not charged at all.
I thought they were charged less.
One second, let's click here.
Buy now, buy now.
Big loads, big loads.
See, something like that.
I thought they just paid less if you got,
if they didn't watch the pre-roll.
I'm sure it's different in all sorts of circumstances,
but I've worked with people consistently that you get it for free can we go to yellowstone and and and get some footage with old faithful and some
strippers and you know it erupting behind them dude i want to do like dick masterson appearances
on morning talk shows and shit right shave my head put on some sunglasses, act like I'm a real ejaculate enthusiast
and just tell my story.
I will go on
whatever morning show.
Throw me out there. I'll do it.
I don't care.
I've done the dick show
a few times. You guys should. It's fun.
Well, first, I think we should try to figure out
how to get this in a bottle
and figure out how that's going to fucking work.
Because it's probably because of the amount of pills, it's probably going to be easier to do a day by day pouch system that goes in like a monthly subscription box as opposed to multiple like Boston round bottles.
I think so, too. But even the pouch would be rather large.
Look, I'm going to have to narrow it down. I just added three more things.
I'm going to see if those help at all. I've been keeping precise measurements. Send us the proprietary list he's given you so we can do our own A-B
testing, Woody and I. I have not been sent a proprietary list. I have made my own
proprietary list. And he added one thing that he told me that his friends had told him worked i hope the
listeners appreciate your ejaculating into graduated cylinders on a daily basis they they
don't but that's for me life hasn't changed i come to the first meeting and it's like
tell you you've got three years of vlogs yeah yeah thorough yeah i've got three years of vlogs. Yeah. I'm thorough.
I've got three years of samples.
The hardest part was really all the taste testing.
It turns out
celery doesn't work.
I'm excited for this. This is going to be fun.
Yeah, I think it'll be fun.
I'm excited for this animation
that we now have to do. I don't think it'd be funny i'm excited for this animation that we uh we now have to do
i think we could i don't think it'd be all that expensive we just need to find somebody that
does basic animation and you know i don't know how what we're supposed to do exactly like are
we talking about like a quick video or like a four hour video or what oh no i interpreted it
as like maybe grab a highlight and have it animated and.
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah,
that'd be fun.
Yeah.
See where that goes.
I mean,
there's a million highlights on the,
uh,
the clip channels now.
Right.
We could just pick some of the better ones and animate them.
I got to tell the boys to tone down their call outs.
If we're,
if you guys are going to stream Bermondside,
we've come up with some,
some names for, names for some of the
specials. They're not Twitch-friendly
names, are they? No, no, they're not.
We're going to need you to calm that down.
Twitch does not have a name for that.
They also don't take kindly
to saying
bad things about other streamers, which might be a
problem as well. Well, we'll be
jumping in to shut you down. I don't even
know who you're talking about. Yeah, I don't know who it could be either i'll tell you after this show i am curious
uh all right you want to call it a wrap there yeah uh my dinner's ready lock and load is
incoming uh uh you know it's it's uh kind of out of my hands at this point all over my feet though
and don't even talk about the
living room floor oh it's ruined the walls the ceiling um the people are like kyle why not
hardwoods why linoleum everywhere it's like well we're doing testing uh so yeah that that was going
to happen as quickly as um as derrick can make it happen at this point.
And,
and yeah, we'll get on that animation thing.
Well,
if anybody knows a cheap animator,
you know,
we'd,
we'd,
we'd like to hear about that,
but,
but yeah,
fiber might actually work.
And if,
if none of that works,
I'm sure.
Oh,
Kitty knows somebody.
I think she did some animation for,
they made some animated commercials like years ago for like um like paintball fields like the the it was
a video that you would watch for like kids when they first if they'd never played paintball and
it was a bunch of cartoons teaching you not to shoot yourself in the eye i might have watched
that yeah let's get the psa guy yeah maybe not i mean you might be dead by now it's been like
eight years but uh but you know it's been a rough eight years it's's been like eight years. But, you know, we'll figure something out.
It's been a rough eight years.
It's been a rough eight.
122, but true Christ.
Alright. BKN
322.