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Painkiller Nearly, episode 330.
What's up, boys?
How's it going?
It's been a week.
I know.
That felt like, it almost felt like a vacation, right?
Yeah.
The funniest vacation ever.
It's like, I don't have to talk for four hours for a whole nother week.
It's not the talking.
It's the being somewhere.
It's the schedule of not having anything tying you in.
I know what you mean.
I'm going to get no sympathy for my work schedule, which can sometimes be upward of 10 hours a week.
That much?
I had to do the processing, the upload.
I wake up on Saturday morning.
It's a thing.
But no sympathy.
I hear it.
But the fact that the show must go on.
I'm always...
There's a place you have to be twice a week.
But not this time.
I went to my friend's rented castle at the beach.
I did tandem flights with my friends all weekend.
That was fun.
I took his wife, himself, and his daughter up.
That was a blast.
It was cool. It was cool to get out see people
yeah that's good we were in florida for a while and we were initially going to do the disneyland
thing or disney world whichever one's there and then if we're thinking about it more we're like
i don't want to risk going somewhere that might be like closed down or they're not going to let
you what if they're what if they're spacing people out on roller coasters now you're cutting my amount of
roller coasters i can ride in more than half and that's not frankly going to be acceptable for me
so we're like all right we're going to do a more outdoorsy thing like biking at parks going to
beaches going hiking like trails looking at animals fishing that kind of stuff and i think
that was more fun anyway because like there was, nobody like it's the middle of the week.
It's like in the 80s.
It's so sunny and nice, so much less depressing than the Midwest right now.
And it's like we're going to these public parks and it's like you'll you'll see like two other people like a mile down the beach because no one's hanging out there on a Thursday morning.
No fucking nobody.
It was great.
I felt like you had the run of the place.
So I had a lot of fun doing that.
A lot of mosquito bites when covid first hit almost a year ago right call it like
march of last year there were like neighbors walking all the time they're really maximizing
like now that we don't have commutes to work we're out there out there walking they're doing
their thing pulling the wagons with the children in it everything's back to normal people have the water has found its level there that
the parks are not overused anymore yeah yeah yeah everyone's wearing a mask here like i keep seeing
all those videos of people not wearing masks but i went and got a haircut today and then
the grocery store is right next door so i went went and did some shopping and I didn't see anyone without a mask.
I don't think I felt it was an ancient lady getting her hair done, like in the chair next to me.
And she had two masks on.
And I was just like, yeah, that's a good idea.
You look like you might die from the fumes in here.
She was so old.
I wanted it was a while ago.
Call it November.
I don't know. But um saw a guy with no
mask and when i see somebody with a mask on almost any mask i'm like oh this is a
a caring member of society right someone who wants to make things better when i see somebody
with no mask i'm like a selfish asshole is among us there is a guy here who doesn't give a fuck about other people.
That's why he's spreading all his water droplets.
Yeah.
Did you see that?
They,
I love,
I love how slow we've been to like get our hands around this virus.
They just,
I just read like last night,
they figured out how to kill the virus in air vents did you see this yes
led lights leds it's we didn't try the cheapest form of light we possessed that was right we just
need to put a light inside your body and wait a goddamn minute was trump right all we need a guy
with a flashlight standing by vents.
That's all.
They're going to literally put led strips in the air vents and it'll kill 99% of this virus that's flowing through air vents and prevent that whole
situation that,
that they had where like,
you know,
in situations where air is being recycled,
like airplanes and,
you know,
small spaces,
you're just one person's got it.
Everyone's got it.
Did they just figure this out?
Did Germany do this?
It just became news two days ago.
Yeah.
I thought we would have
tried stuff like that by now.
How did we not try stuff
like that?
The cheapest form of flight?
I just feel like we're so stupid like like when you watch like
one of those procedural dramas like like name one you know csi or whatever you're like oh my god
they're so smart i don't know how anyone ever even gets away with a crime you know it's just
well they found the blood spatter they've got him i don't think any of it's true like i
don't think any of that shit's true about anything i don't believe anything that i've been taught
what percentage of murders actually get solved like it's got a percentage of crime that's when
you do that when you're like what percentage of crimes get solved i bet it's 10 or so crime might
pay after all oh undoubtedly it's got to pay very. Crime might pay after all. Oh, undoubtedly.
It's got to pay very well.
I won't go that far, boys.
Not your kind of crime.
No.
Upside financially with that.
I saw that meme.
It was like any zombie movie from now onward that doesn't include people rushing towards the
zombie to prove that it was a hoax is going to seem unrealistic dude what that what it would
actually be is they would tell everybody to stay in their homes and so many people would be wanting
to rack up their personal count with like gopros on their head that they would be running around
outside like trying to live stream it like that's that would be a real
thing like they twitch would have to be like we're shutting you down if you're doing live zombie
hunting you can't do that am i allowed to rearm myself if zombies come is that is there i wish we
could we could get some clarification on that with the kitchen knife down buyers
i'm wearing a mask.
As long as you're safely slaying the zombies.
The way I would probably go with zombies is like
we'd figure out
like 10 million deaths in.
Like, we can fix it.
Do you like zombie movies?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it kind of depends. Done well. What's your favorite zombie movie? I didn't like. movies? Yeah. Done well.
What's your favorite zombie movie?
I didn't like
The 28 Days Later ones are good.
28 Weeks Later, they really kind of lost the plot there.
The old
George Romero ones, they're too slow.
They have to be able to sprint.
Oh, you mean the zombies are too slow?
No, not the plot.
If the zombies can't run, I would prefer to be in a world where those were the zombies are too slow no no not the plug if the zombies can't run
i would like i would prefer to be in a world where those were the zombies we're dealing with
but as far as a movie trying to live up in the excitement like the 28 days later one it's like
oh they actually get faster to be fair to be fair the 28 days later zombies aren't actually zombies. They are technically crazies.
True.
Those are rage-fueled humans.
Okay, okay.
I'm sticking with it as my favorite scary zombie movie.
No, I agree.
It's a legitimate one.
I have another good zombie movie that's much different, Shaun of the Dead.
That's a great movie.
I like it.
That one's killer.
My favorite is Dawn of the Dead. That's a great movie too. I like it. That one's killer. My favorite is Dawn of the Dead.
The remake
from, I believe, 2005.
Is that the one with the beautiful woman, belly dancer
chick?
No, that's Dusk Till Daylight, maybe?
That's Dusk Till Dawn, written by
directed by
Robert Rodriguez. I think
some of the writings from Quentin Tarantino, who
also was in the movie with George
Clooney, Harvey Keitel,
Brittany...
No, that's not Brittany Murphy. Can you say your movie again?
Dead by Daylight? It's Dawn of the Dead
from like
early 2000s. 2004, 2005,
2006. Somewhere in there. That's
my favorite. It has Ving Rhames in
it and
a few others who I'm having a hard time uh remembering
but is that the one where like they're in a mall they escape oh they escape the mall and they make
it to the boat at the end and then there's a zombie head in the cooler yeah yeah i remember
yeah it's it's a remake of of the romero uh the romero dawn Dawn of the Dead, you know, where they're also in a mall. But it's much better done and super gory, really nasty zombies.
And there's lots of comedy mixed in.
It doesn't get too goofy or anything.
Like, it's kind of scary.
Colin likes scary movies, and this seems like a fit.
I wonder if he's down.
What's his genre?
Like, any and all scary or monster scary thriller scary he has
gotten into i guess there's a youtube channel that does body counts and it just shows like
murder after murder after murder he likes it he might be a dangerous person before long but
he's like what's the captain america body count and i'm I don't know, but I bet you do. Holy shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well,
it's a good movie.
Uh,
I like it a lot.
It's my favorite zombie movie.
I can remember watching that when it came out and like many times over and
over watching with my cousin.
And that,
that that's part of why FPS Russia came to be was just us sitting around
being like,
man,
I wish there were zombies.
Yeah,
me too,
man.
I'd be so cool and i
we'd have these just ridiculous discussions like what we do about women though yeah i don't know
maybe we get some zombie bitches zombie bitches you're gonna fuck a zombie bitch well
i'm not gonna let her suck my dick that's for damn sure
that's a doggy style encounter right there oh no not even that you're gonna get maggots all
over your penis jesus they're high and mighty yes some of us are okay with condoms taylor
brand new crop of stds taylor you wouldn't have to pull out i bet
no that's oh um i won't spoil it but there may or may not be a zombie baby in Dawn of the Dead.
Yeah, definitely don't spoil that.
Yeah, it's a good one.
That's my favorite zombie movie.
Zombie movies are one of my favorite genres, but Shaun of the Dead is excellent.
28 Days Later is also excellent.
Those may be the three best zombie movies ever.
Yeah. Yeah, you know what that
trend has slowed down tremendously in the last few years the zombie craze has finally kind of died
out and i think the walking dead really just dug that grave towards the end where it was just like
this is too much it's too much zombie stuff.
Walking Dead wasn't always good.
It had too many highs and lows.
There were some weak seasons in there.
Season 2, or was it 3?
I think it was 2, was super slow
when they were on the farm.
Some of the more recent seasons
have been kind of slow.
I could do a whole podcast about the follies
of The Walking Dead. From A& about the the follies of the walking dead
yep uh from from a and e and how they've run the thing all the way down to like the writers it's
i it's i was so into that show at one point that we went to watch parties at a bar like like it was
like hey what do you got i don't remember when it comes out but let's say it's thursday night or
saturday night whatever what are you guys doing I don't remember when it comes out, but let's say it's Thursday night or Saturday night,
whatever.
What are you guys doing Saturday night?
You coming to the watch party?
Of course we're coming to the watch party.
Save us a spot at the table.
Yeah, we're getting there two hours early.
We got there an hour early last time and we need to have a good spot.
Yeah, yeah, we'll be there. Like, we'd all be there, like, at the bar, like, with our drinks, waiting on the thing.
That's that bar I've talked about before where if you spoke during The Walking Dead, would kick you out of the bar i love that i mean i like i prefer that yeah
that'd probably be my favorite hour of the night shut the fuck up you can't cheer
talking about stats dude can i change the topic i want to talk yeah yeah
all right so have you been watching jake paul lately yeah talk yeah yeah all right so have you been watching jake paul lately
yeah man yeah yeah all right so jake paul has called out conor mcgregor and i have a group
watch in that link i gave you i didn't pre-watch it okay damn it uh it looks like it's not the
actual jocks it's not the actual video in the link.
But I saw him on Instagram.
And basically, he calls out Conor McGregor.
He says, Conor, you are 0-1 as a pro boxer.
I am 2-0.
I will beat your ass.
You are scared to fight me.
This is Jake Paul.
And he's like, I will kick your ass.
And then he went on and said his wife was ugly, that she could do
better, that she's a four.
I could beat your wife up too.
His wife, Conor McGregor's
wife is lovely. I think she's more than a four.
But
we should watch it.
We should watch this together.
I bet I can find it.
Jake Paul, Instagram.
So he's trying to drum up
a little bit of public outcry for this
exhibition fight to go down.
Alright. I think
this is it.
I can't imagine.
Instagram's
video player is, of course, the worst
video player on the internet.
I'm ready to click play, though.
Give me a sec.
Mine's loading up.
All right.
Let me just queue up.
Holy shit, this is going slow.
You ready, Taylor?
I am ready.
Ready, set, play.
Irish cunt.
Good morning, Conor McGregor.
I know you're probably beating up old dudes in a bar right now,
or maybe you're jacking off because you're sick of fucking your wife.
I mean, she's a four, Conor.
You could do a lot better, but happy Monday.
My team sent you a $50 million offer this morning.
$50 million cash, proof of funds,
the biggest fight offer you've ever been offered,
but you're scared to fight me, Conor?
You're ducking me because you don't want to lose to a fucking YouTuber.
You're 0-1 as a boxer. you're all in one as a boxer i'm two and oh as a boxer i just came off the eighth biggest pay-per-view event in history but you want to fight dustin prober who has less
followers on instagram than my fucking dog that's a fact and dana white you're a fucking pussy too
you ugly fucking bald bitch you said there's 0% chance of this fight happening,
but there's 0% chance of you getting some fucking pussy.
Connor, you're scared.
Dana, you're scared.
Sign the fucking contract, you idiots.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Irish bitch.
Fuck these guys.
What the fuck is up, you Irish cunt?
So I guess you've watched it now.
I have now.
Bold words.
It's funny that you included that detail because I forgot.
But you're, I hate the biggest pay-per-view event.
And you're like, you know, Mike Tyson was the headliner on that.
You know what?
I think that Mike Tyson probably did a little more of the heavy lifting.
I stole it.
I didn't contribute to that.
He's going balls to the wall really trying to upset connor he does want to fight connor and yeah like you said he does actually want to get
under his skin in real life um he knows how to promote an event that seems sure it cuts a better
promo than maybe anyone in the ufc anyone, that's for sure. But so
Nate Diaz weighed in
said someone ought to beat your ass
for free, which I thought was fun.
I want to thank
I really like
Dana White's
response. He's like, I'm thinking
of letting Amanda Nunes knock his
ass out.
How much of a PR disaster response he's like i'm thinking of letting amanda nunez knock his ass out how much pr disaster would that be if he allowed that and he just i think he would beat the shit out of her in boxing isn't he like six foot three or six
yeah yeah he's a man who is a good boxer yeah against a woman who is a good boxer against a woman who is a great boxer.
I think that the man wins.
We've seen YouTuber versus professional athlete before
and YouTuber wins.
The only guy that can beat a YouTuber
is another YouTuber thus far.
Look out, Connor.
You got to fight fire with fire.
He did a good job there.
Look, I don't care what happens i like entertaining things
i would watch it i i hate boxing i don't want to see them box i don't want to see anybody box
anybody ever again dial i wish they would outlaw boring but boxing hype is good and they are able
to routinely make me forget that the fight will be boring leading up they made me forget for half a second then i was like wait a goddamn minute i hate boxing i hate boxing and i think that the
only people who like boxing are like i don't know who those people are who are you people and why
guys are older than me you've got to be like a really old white man to enjoy boxing i feel like that sounds about right
but anyway it's fun oh tony ferguson lost i saw an analysis on reddit kyle you may have seen it too
saying tony ferguson hasn't been good for a long time he just got a little lucky in the last four
years and then he wasn't exposed and they made a pretty good point that he peaked between 2012 and 16.
Right?
And he did really well.
If you look at that period, he beat good fighters.
And he was really active.
Since 2016 or so, he's had one fight a year.
Some of it is fault.
Some of it not.
Like Khabib would get hurt and things would get canceled.
He would get hurt and he takes like a year off.
His opponent might get injured and now he goes up against like a second stringer you know they had him up against an a-list guy and he beats a b and he just kind of rides on his previous
accomplishments until recently where he goes up against gaethje and just gets thoroughly outclassed
and then he went up against olivia cowboy olivia something close to just gets thoroughly outclassed and then he went up against Olivia
Cowboy Olivia something close to that again thoroughly outclassed and it's like oh
right he's a 37 year old 155 pounder and he's done we just couldn't tell because you know
unfortunate and fortunate events just kind of kept him
as a top dude for the last four years and we didn't notice he had fallen off
yeah yeah maybe so maybe so um he is just i mean 37 is not a great age to be
hitting other you know fighting for a living he is 37 you. You're right. Is that right? I was afraid he was. I believe he's 37.
He's 36. He'll be 37 by next fight's February.
I read 37 as well. Anyway,
I don't know. Look, he's my favorite crazy person.
I hope he gets to lose three more times
at least before they even think about cutting him.
Yep.
I think that he has obviously lost a step or two, but there's plenty of people in the UFC he can still just fucking beat the shit out of and stand in there and absorb everything they have and then spit blood on them and then keep going.
He's got some entertaining fights left in him.
I just don't
think he wants to be fighting with the top four guys in the world right now i agree with everything
there yeah he's great to watch i think i like the stories as much as i like the fighting itself
maybe that's just always the case in prize fighting yeah i like watching his instagram
shit like like all that crazy capoeira uh like fight dancing and all those weird gymnastics and CrossFit.
His training looks like a mix between capoeira, gymnastics, and CrossFit.
That's the only way I know how to describe his training.
JL Sonnen says that he has trained a bunch of times with tony ferguson and he doesn't do that shit and he trains like a normal person like everyone else sparring
drilling in the heavy bag but if you watch him on instagram it's like huh so i guess to be a fighter
you attach bundies to your ankles and try to walk away from the wall really far okay yeah now he's spider-man yeah like i don't know just weird stuff uh whatever i like
him i'm rooting for him but i'm not betting on him no not betting on him um that would have been a
good time to i bet you probably could have won some money uh betting against him the other night yeah he was probably a favorite i wouldn't know but
yeah anyway he didn't do well i guess he lost every round uh he lost one eight to ten so yeah
my sleep schedule is kind of crazy i slept through the whole thing and uh and i was like oh well
got get a little extra sleep and saved 65 now let's head over to our MMA and see what happened.
Yep.
So wait,
did,
did,
uh,
Connor respond to this?
I don't,
I didn't see a Connor response to it yet.
Oh,
darn.
Yeah.
I,
I don't know it to hear.
So when fights get booked,
you never know what the truth is.
Every fighter says, I want to fight.
I want to fight as often as possible.
I want to fight anyone who raises their hand or anyone who doesn't.
That's what it's all about.
But behind closed doors, they're like, no, no, no, no.
I don't want to fight him.
That guy's a bad style matchup.
I want to fight that guy over there instead.
And you know what
i'm really tired i'm thinking six months rest and then we'll fight again my head's still spinning
so what happens behind closed doors and what happens on instagram is not true at all
i assume i won't i'm guessing connor will say absolutely i want this fight let's do it
and then behind the scenes somewhere, they'll say, no, thank you.
Yeah.
Um,
he hasn't said anything,
um,
obviously because he's promoting a fight with Dustin Poirier.
That's just about to come up and that's just,
that's the right thing to do.
But you know,
if you look at his,
his,
uh,
um,
Twitter,
it's,
it's all about proper 12,
um,
the five year anniversary of him knocking Jose Aldo out in 13 seconds,
which just passed three days ago, and Dustin Poirier.
So he's staying on message.
He's selling liquor, talking about some shit he did five years ago that was incredible,
and looking forward to his next fight.
Yeah.
Well, good for him, you know, keeping his eye on the actual real professional prize
and you know in a few years if he gets his ass handed to him a couple times maybe he can
you know then get beat up by jake paul i would like to see that fight jake paul is a big man
jake paul has never fought at 145.
I think Connor wins.
My money's on Connor.
But Jake's not nobody.
You know, like in Jits, they say a belt is worth about 40 pounds, right?
So if it's a white belt versus a purple, maybe even 80 pounds.
Like they could do that.
In striking, like in boxing, how many belts higher is Connor than Jake Paul?
Jake Paul is a professional boxer that's 2-0.
Let's not pretend he's Mayweather.
And he's huge.
I don't know. I don't know enough about boxing to even tell when someone's –
I don't know.
I can see them hit mitts and a heavy bag and be like,
oh, yeah, that guy has some skills there.
But I can't tell the levels of that shit. I feel like I can with j hit mitts and a heavy bag and be like, oh yeah, that guy has some skills there, but I can't tell the levels of that shit.
I feel like I can with jiu-jitsu when I see someone on the ground.
I can definitely tell, oh my God, all right, well, it's over now.
This is going to be a real one-sided thing here now.
Didn't Jake Paul not fight professional boxers, though?
Didn't he fight an ex-NBA player?
Yeah, I don't know.
He starched him, though. He was an ex-nba player yeah i don't know he was an ex-nba player but it was
actually i think a sanctioned commission like they're both professional boxers i'm not pretending
they're both elite professional boxers but hey somebody signed off yeah yeah some more money
they wouldn't sign off on tyson that would not sign off on Tyson. That's true.
I wish that Jake Paul would challenge
Tyson.
I don't know, Taylor. We've
seen YouTubers versus pro athletes before.
Pro athletes never
win. Tyson
would just go all out, even
after agreeing.
You just absolutely
won 53-year- old man's ham fist just
i saw uh derrick derrick did a reaction video to um drifter going on clomid i saw that low t
yeah i was so happy that like like like that i don't know i was right about everything i said
and like as i'm sitting there if you like watch my eyes when Drifter's saying things,
I'm just like, I want to say bullshit, but it's just rude.
It's just rude to tell this man this is bullshit.
I'm just going to sit here.
But Derek is just like, bullshit.
I don't think bullshit's the right.
It's not the word I'd pick because bullshit implies a certain lying.
I think he was just wrong. Okay, yeah's incorrect like you know when he said his t was in the single
digits uh like i don't know like what measurement are we talking about that is so impossibly low
that yeah like derrick said like a hermaphrodite would have higher t than that uh a micro penis
there was this really funny part in the video
where derrick is like you know if you had single digit t levels your whole life you'd literally
have a micro penis you know and and like i'm sure he look i don't think he has
like he was at this point where he caught himself having to follow through with going
i'm sure he's got a normal size cop
his t levels aren't that long
it was great he latched on to was like his t wouldn't be that low but i remember also
you suggesting being like hey instead of doing the clomid reversal thing
why not just take the tea injected yeah yeah and that's what he should be doing that's that's what
more place more data recommend of course he did yeah i look i'm outside my depth here but my
thing is get off the clomid get retested if your t level's too low go to some sort of what derrick
would call a bio-identical
tea replacement, right? Instead of getting- Which is testosterone.
Yeah, right? There's different kinds of tea. I'm not an expert, but see if the Clomid kickstarted
you, right? Get off the Clomid, test it. If you're low, go to actual tea instead of some
roundabout version of tea that's what i would
did you say there were any dangers to the clomid approach yeah yeah oh really so what was he
breaking down there i don't know it's it's it's too complicated it's it's it's look i like derrick's
videos a lot they go over my head quite quite quite often i i get about 75 i was gonna say now that i've been watching like every video he makes
for like a year my retention rate is about half like um it's a big improvement than before yeah
and some of it's just the vocabulary like he could simplify it a touch without losing any information you know but uh um i'm now like my vocabulary my
i guess gym bro vocabulary is a little better now so things that used to strain me i can take
in casually and focus on the things that do strain me yeah yeah yeah, but it's the idea that like testosterone causes cancer. It's like
lots of things cause cancer, but like, there are also things that like make you be alive.
Like, Oh yeah. Fats cause cancer. Yeah. But you're going to need them so that your body can operate,
you know, in moderation, like, you know, it's, it's one of those things like testosterone is something
your body already has inside of it if you're healthy and if you don't have enough of it
you can add some more to be healthier yeah he was having some real negative side effects
side effects from his low t right we could just get him to good t and stop there i've never seen
him look i i obviously cannot grow a beard, but Drifter
doesn't shave, what did he say,
once every six months or something?
He's been using the same razor for a decade?
Yeah, he said he only
kept the same razor for years.
Just like a whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop once a month.
I have to shave. I have to
trim twice a week, three times a week
to keep from having
a gross beard like
come on like like i did i've never known a man who who had that little facial hair who wasn't
um ethnically predisposed to that racially predisposed that like like there's some asian
guys where it's just like although i was also reading like um i don't know where i saw it but
it was like testosterone levels by race and on average
uh black men had have the highest testosterone levels and asian men have the lowest testosterone
levels it's like i i heard that too i forget where and uh maybe it was derrick's video in any case
i heard it and i was like this all checks out though doesn't it like doesn't it like are you surprised who would have thought
like yeah oh black guys have higher t white in the middle and asian at the bottom
color me surprised i'm shocked by all this yeah not a lot of asian linebackers in the
for some reason it's got to be racism
they're being held they're calling it the yellow wall
if they can't they can't break through in the end
all the nfl owners are sitting around like some guys like i got
haduki yamasaki it's gonna be the best ones. You know the rules. You can't fucking bring him on.
New racism revealed at the NFL.
No, they'll play the best player available.
Well, then maybe Drifter can use the facial hair as a barometer.
He goes until he gets the level he likes.
I don't know that adding more testosterone is necessarily going to trigger him having facial hair because the connection there is so...
It's not like by the numbers.
I don't know.
I don't understand it very well.
But I know there's a lot of genetic stuff that goes on with facial hair.
For example, you can give me as much testosterone as you
want and i'm never gonna have a tailor beard but you're not gonna happen back hair i might get some
fucking shoulder hair yeah if enough of it's like converting to dht or whatever and and like i i
think that that can cause quite a bit of body hair um god i hope i don't end up with that taylor body hair someday
i don't know how you deal with that oh it's not too bad yeah you've never i've never not been
hairy though yeah yeah i i always like you ever been like so stuffy and congested for like two
weeks for the flu or something and finally it like clears up and you're able to breathe again
you're like oh my god freedom that's what it's like walking around without that coat that you
live in what if it goes the other way what if taylor's like comfortable right what if he has
his own little microclimate surrounding his body like my whole life has been existing in 98.6 degree air i didn't know but this is lovely
it's like a bath contains a perfect microclimate
oh speaking of body hair i got this new device to pluck my nose hair it's like this thing you
squeeze and it's like a spring and when you squeeze the spring like squeezes in on itself
so you so like you put that in your nose and you squeeze it and like the spring grabs like every
hair it in your nose and and so like it hurts a little but i i am just completely bare but
couldn't there be a rotating razor blade that doesn't cut you doesn't that exist yeah yeah
nose trimmers but the problem is they're still leaving a little bit of hair.
This is plucking them
completely out. There's no hair in my nose anymore.
Are you crying from
the eyes watering effect?
No, because I've
plucked them for a long time. This is just a super
efficient way to do it. It doesn't bother me.
It doesn't hurt that much.
But I really like
the way it feels without having nose hair
like like i i can literally breathe better i bet you do sell it though for being hairy everywhere
else i gotta do beard trimmer oh yeah i like it i'll have to look it up on amazon but it won't
take long one blade use that for a couple years it's pretty nice what is it called i think it's called the phillips one blade
searching on beard did not find it but it's real recent so i'll just scroll down my amazon orders
yeah i'm doing the same yeah the noralco one blade it's like 30 bucks and it's worked for a long time i have the norelco one blade yeah there you go i paid 70 for
it oh you got the the high quality norelco i actually really value the stand it goes in and
i think that's the biggest difference like the i don't know i don't want to lay in flat on my bathroom sink thing like
yucky um it's cool because it can handle a thick beard like i know you maybe i don't know but i'll
let go a week and what i want is to be able to trim it to near shave in a pass yeah and uh the
naroko one blade it does it um pretty well so here's where its strength is.
It doesn't pull your hair.
The other ones I've had, they can get a little pulley.
You have to go slow for it to really shave it well.
Otherwise, it's multiple passes.
And it feels light and cheap.
But I guess that doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter to me.
You'll pick it up and you'll be like oh it must be hollow inside like i have
the remington smart beard trimmer um smart beard is that why you're shaving you learn the weather
like what's it oh it's got it say you know it's digital to like set the uh the measurements and
so i've got like several different measurements saved because once for my face and once for my pubic hair.
And then, you know, different areas get different trimming levels.
Yeah, I feel you.
I foolishly once like I was trying to just use just free hand with the Norelco thing on my nutsack to get a couple of hairs off.
And like and I I cut my scrotum i think immediately and it was just like after it
didn't make any sense it didn't make any sense to have done it that way i immediately was like
you idiot and i never tried so you can't use it without a guard on your nut sack okay good to know
uh i i think i have the one that kyle has and the digital like beard adjuster thing it stopped being reliable so i don't know
it would change the digital readout but the guard wasn't moving with it so i'd like click it back in
and and one point went bald in an area i didn't want to go bald and i'm just like ah this whole
thing's not working out for me so i tried a new one if if you have body hair that you want to remove taylor
i have some you've got you've got all right so i'll wreck you don't give a shit about your hands
so but but i'll say anyone else who's out there listening who like cares about their hands being
silky smooth um i put on rubber gloves when i apply this shit because you're rubbing some like i don't know if it's an acid or if it's caustic i don't know which it is but yeah i don't know why you didn't
put nair in your nostrils oh my god i thought about that earlier i literally thought i didn't
consider doing it but i thought about like what if i was so crazy that i just like nair the inside
of it it would be awful j Jeremy, $750 an hour.
We're going to do a little testing on you.
And then just drive directly to the urgent
care nearest you. You should
like nair your whole
chest to like see
what it's like to be a young man again.
I don't want the stubble back.
Oh, but nair doesn't come back. Oh, no,
it does. Oh, it comes back.
It's not permanent.
This is just the best shave you've ever had.
Stubble on your chest is not comfortable.
I'd rather just have the longer chest hair.
We need to wax it then.
Well, it'll still come back, and they'll still be stubble.
Oh, wait.
Wax doesn't rip out the follicle and stop it from...
No, the follicle is the hole.
Wax rips out the root, but it just comes back.
It just takes a while.
It'll buy in, I think.
Yeah, that's why women are always having to wax their upper lips
and their legs and stuff, and it's incredibly painful.
So electrolysis, is that permanent?
Yes, that is almost completely permanent.
And very painful, I think so. Yes, that is almost completely permanent. And very painful, I think.
They grab each hair with the electronic tweezers that sends an electric shock in and kills the follicle, and then they pluck each hair individually.
So that's the painful part, that every hair on your body is being plucked.
Yeah.
Hundreds and hundreds, if not thousands of hairs.
Tens of thousands electrolysis is very painful as compared to laser hair removal okay i know someone who's getting
laser hair removal right now what is it's like multiple treatments uh that they have to do like
like it's over the course of weeks and weeks but it's also also permanent. Where is he or she having it removed? All the
good places. Right above the cooter, huh?
She's committed to it.
Oh, not above.
Just the entire area.
Everything from the waist down
I think is just removed.
Okay.
Let's get rid of it.
How about let's just get the neck down?
She may be, actually.
It may have done armpits as well.
Do you ever have to trim your armpits or wax those ever again?
I knew a girl that didn't have to shave her legs.
She had the finest of, her leg hair, I promise, would meet any standard you might have.
Like, I don't know.
Like, you know how you have little hair?
Like, a woman might have little hairs all over her body.
Like if you looked really close to the top of a woman's boob,
there'd be the finest of little micro hairs,
right?
That's what her legs were like.
Okay.
Yeah.
She,
she was a swimmer and she normally swimmer shave to like,
just go a little bit faster,
but she didn't shave because she was afraid that it
might initiate a lifetime of shaving she's like i have this gift i'm not fucking with it i don't
think that's true i think that's true either wives tale there is no way that it would isn't the whole
reason behind it is like when you shave that because it's now coming out as like an angle
like initially it'll look thicker so because i think it's also like yeah exactly i because it's now coming out as like an angle like initially it'll look thicker so
i think it's also like yeah exactly i think it's because you like you're cutting it off and you've
got like a flat end of the hair rather than that long that that thing of hair will eventually do
where it's just like a long i don't know how to describe it yeah what is that is that food delivery no uh oh my new keyboard nice what kind you get gmmk
you guys want to see it yeah still using the corsair something there's not a number on it
i have the razor huntsman razor huntsman such an intense name right
huntsman it sounds like the name of a compound bow or
something to hunt wild boar yeah i guess the same way that remington well is remington that's not
the gun company that's clean sleek so i got this and the idea is i will have a little more room
because there's no 10 key and then i saw there'll be more room for my mouse because I like a 10 key.
I got a separate one.
So I can just like slide this under the monitor,
then pull it back for when I want it.
Also,
like you got that orange escape key in the sea of white.
So if you're like,
I gotta get out of this tap.
You don't even have to guess,
you know exactly where it is.
This is the ascend key ascend what does that mean i guess like escape i don't know
so either of you played cyberpunk i've watched a good amount of it on twitch it appears to be the 2020 flop of the year
what is your take on it everybody i know is playing it um i'm not interested in playing it
uh but i'll say this for sure uh the console port is garbage i think ign gave gave the PlayStation port a four out of 10. Um,
and just watching a bit of a MIDI playing.
And I mean a bit,
I mean like minutes, I saw two bugs.
I saw two bugs in five minutes and they weren't game breaking,
but it was just like,
wait,
what the fuck?
They're like in an elevator.
He's in an elevator and there's an NPC in the elevator as well.
And it's,
it's,
it seems like it's going to be a mission where you've got to babysit this
guy as you go through some sort of a bank heist or some shit.
And the NPC is standing there.
And then all of a sudden he goes,
and he like falls to the floor,
starts clipping through the floor of the elevator and his face,
like,
like when your face just emerges from water and
all you can see is like this part of your face is like looking through the bottom of the elevator
and he goes what are you doing don't just stand there let's get out of here and you're just like
out of like through the floor or like what do you want from me it so it's glitchy apparently yeah super glitchy and reddit's
going wild with just video after video of cars driving like normally and then flipping blocks
into the air uh but the the bugs aren't really what like the bugs are a problem but most of them
are kind of like fun and you know if someone's boob clipped through their shirt like whatever like
it doesn't ruin a game for me yeah uh and dicks are doing that too dicks are clipping through
people's pants and like wagging on the outside so this is something that i thought was a meme
until i saw it's real so you you're customizing your character's genitals for the purpose of
fucking in the game i don't know i watched um that xc streamer do you
know his name i watched sasha gray make her character oh so this guy had gay sex in cyberpunk
and uh yep so that's a thing that can happen um but the i think maybe it's just not the game that appeals to me.
I'm like, why do I have to do this?
Why would I want to do this?
The whole video game, I'm like this boomer who's like,
this seems like a waste of time to me.
This whole game is just quests to make me do shit. I don't know.
I can't get on board.
Also, the graphics aren't nearly as good as a lot of people were hoping like even people with really high-end pcs are
being pretty disappointed with it it looks very comparable to grand theft auto to me like it's as
good as grand theft auto which is a five-year-old game so you would well they keep updating that
shit like like that's
gotten so much better over time i i don't know i don't want to play it either mostly because i was
not in the mood for an rpg right now um if i had some weed i would like if i were sitting here
with like a pile of nachos and a pile of weed i would want nothing more than to play cyberpunk but i don't have either of those
things so what i really want to do is like maybe play some doom like maybe play some like turn the
fucking bass up on my headset and play doom and i'll the the new doom uh annihilation dlc that i
haven't gotten to yet and just you know rip and tear until it's done and you can also have no
interest in an rpg right
i think do might have a dlc out yeah that's what i'm referring to yeah oh okay i haven't played it
yet uh yeah so we'll see i don't know i i have this i could be wrong sometimes but i think
cyberpunk will lose its hype before it's good but we'll see like skyrim has what like a 10-year
lifespan nearly yeah so if cyberpunk followed its route heck it could get fixed in 2021 and
people are still enjoying it and playing it and it's okay but i think that in a few months people
will move have moved on from cyberpunk it'll be a bit of a
flop we'll see yeah maybe so maybe they spend too much time on dick and pussy customization and not
enough on making sure the missions work because like you're right about someone clipping through
the floor like who cares that's kind of silly but if someone clips through the floor and you need
that guy to go to the next gate as a checkpoint or else you can't complete a mission that's necessary to finish the core progress of the game, it's like, oh, well, I remember this happening in Skyrim.
What you do is turn it off and wait a month and then you decide I quit that.
And then you log back on.
You go.
Now, I remember I'm not going to play.
I saw I saw one meme where there's a guy in a wheelchair in the game and you just go up to him and start beating the shit
out of the guy in the wheelchair and the guy
stands from the wheelchair
goes, this guy's crazy!
And runs away.
They edited it so that
the player was just like,
ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Like he'd healed the crippled man.
There's so many little
things like that. Like, come on. How did you forget that the guy in the wheelchair like he'd healed the crippled man there's so many little things
like that like come on
how did you forget that the guy in the wheelchair
can't get up and run away like everyone else
does when they get punched
like make him wheel away
just
get assaulted slowly
as you quick walks
one thing that made me think
that even if the game worked I wouldn't want to play it was how the police worked. Like, like how awful the police are like in GTA. When I would get bored
of doing missions, I'd be like, all right, five star time, five star time. We're going to go until
we can't go anymore. Come and get me coppers. You know, it's really fun to fight, either fight the
police or run from the police in gta
uh it always has been like i played a ton of vice city when i was younger but i'm sure in gta 5 it's
just as good in this like the guy like just to prove a point he's up on a top of a skyscraper
like on top of a skyscraper not in the like the viewing platform like he's somewhere that i don't
even know how he got there he must use a jet pack or some shit.
And he like shoots down to the street level,
like 1500 feet below at a crowd of people.
And instantly four cops spawn behind him.
Also on scaffolding,
like under a crane,
like,
and they're just like,
Hey,
that's where we can see him.
And they start shooting him. And so he starts killing them back and they're just like hands where we can see him and they start shooting him
and so he starts killing him back and they start like splitting like osmosis jones style into more
cops yeah yeah and there's drones there's there's drones with like machine guns mounted on them
yeah i saw a guy it wasn't quite as extreme as Kyle's, but there are two people. They were fishing by the end of what LA calls a river,
which is like a concrete sewer of some sort.
And anyway, like he hits the girl before he even hits the guy.
There's cops all over the place.
There's one drone, two drone, four drones just all over.
And he loses.
You can't beat the police in this game.
And it takes away from the open. and he loses. You can't beat the police in this game. It's so fun.
It puts you on rails, because you can only do the things that the game wants you to
do, or you'll just quickly die with the police.
Yeah, that's stupid.
I like games where you can, I don't know,
you can do your own thing. Even in Fallout,
in Fallout New Vegas,
there's this
part of the desert where if you try
to get there too early it's
it's really dangerous like there's death claws there and death claws will just one hit you if
you're too low of a level and i i've been like a level 10 which is way too low and been up we're
gonna make it god damn it we're gonna fucking make it like all right this is the 18th time but i know
that i'll run to this boulder and he's gonna be coming from the left so i need to run this like like doing my best to cheese my
way out of it and eventually you can like this set i like games that where you can do that
you know what i can make it past this level 30 giant at the very beginning of the game
if i really cheese up the side of this mountain, cause he can't get there. You're doing that jump thing where somehow you jump up a mountain like a
little at a time.
I'm going to need a horse.
I like that.
You're like,
you'd have to do the long way to climb sometimes,
but other times you could just gallop almost vertically dodging everyone.
And then when you were done at the top of the mountain,
you could just sled downward on your horse,
just straight to the bottom.
So I'm disappointed to hear that about the cops.
I thought your complaint was going to be,
oh, and the cops, they don't even know where you are.
It's not even fun because they're not chasing you.
I would prefer that to what you just said,
which is you have to not be a dickhead in the game.
Do you remember how many times you're playing GTA 5 and you decided
you're going to...
At the end of a mission, it was too easy.
I'm going to use all my RPGs
and kill as many cops
as I can before the end,
before I hit the line.
Rampage mode. Yeah, you just go to rampage mode.
You're taking out multiple choppers
alone. You've been picking up grenades for hours mode you're taking out multiple choppers alone you've been
picking up grenades for hours and you're lobbing them at the guy it was great uh i need to replay
that game some more and but get the mods this time but that game is so much fun i can't believe
gta 5 is a bad pc port but maybe i'm maybe that's bad information i haven't what do you mean pc port
but i'm having fun with cyberpunk in this i mean it
is made for the console and then they like ported it over to the pc and sometimes when you do that
like you lose some stuff you end up with issues but how many times has that happened right where
there's a console game that's poorly pointed ported to the pc whereas cyberpunk is a pc game that's poorly ported to this console good take that
good true
yeah that is it's an iphone game that's poorly ported to everything
remember when like there was that huge hype game no man's sky years ago yes and it got that same
kind of play where it's like this is gonna be the most epic
open and i never played it but i remember like seeing clips of like gamers i follow on twitter
ever being like are you fucking kidding me and it's like him looking at an eight bit monster
with like the face wrong and everything else is like a palm tree and just open arid landscape i
think it's gotten better to be fair apparently but That's what I'm saying off the beginning. Apparently, it's like, explore
billions of planets, each one
with nothing.
Oh, I found another planet.
This one's blue.
I found a blue planet.
Ooh, can I collect resource? No.
Can I build a fort? No. On to the next planet.
I saw a game the other day.
I have a notepad in my car, but I need to bring it in
so I write down ideas that I have and things I want to remember.
I saw something that looked like Civilization V
that was coming out soon.
It looked so fun.
Am I crazy or Civ V has been out?
Yeah, of course.
For many years.
But it looked like a game like that
like a um like a like a turn-based strategy game it could be interpreted as something like
civ 5 like like like you thought civ 5 was coming out no of course yeah i i have 2500 hours of civ
5 i am well aware of its uh of its being out so something just like is coming out well that seems neat it
looked like it had a similar aesthetic the commercial had a black woman doing like lots
of historical things like like and like like a narrator was like theresa was you know doing this
in the 17th century and this in the fourth century a.d and and just heard throughout time shaping the path of human
history, so it looked fun.
I hate Civ 6,
but I would like a new RTS.
That's another game that I probably need to be stoned as
fuck for, though. Not
RTS, turn-based strategy. RTS
I can play anytime. I love RTS.
Yeah. I'm
excited for that new
Age of Empires. I thought it was supposed to be before the end of
this year but i guess it'll be next year man total war will be coming out pretty soon there'll be
total war three soon enough that'll be good too yeah yeah well hopefully they'll fix 27 and they
came out with a gameplay trailer for that Vermintide sequel. Oh, shit.
The 40K Vermintide.
You want to watch it?
Yeah. What do I search for?
Is it the one
from four months ago?
No, it's brand new. Four days ago.
Is it Vermintide Supreme? No.
It's not. I'm grabbing it.
I think it's Warhammer. It's Darktide.
Darktide. Darktide.
Warhammer 40,000
Darktide.
2K.
Okay.
The kids think you're cool.
Official gameplay trailer. The one posted by Xbox.
I just linked it.
The right one. Yep, yep. by Xbox. I just linked it. The right one.
Yep, yep, for sure.
I'm at zero.
All right.
Yeah, I'm ready at zero.
I'm just resizing the...
I'm going to play a lot of this.
Okay.
Ready, set, play. Oh.
This looks pretty cool.
Yeah, I'm down.
This is better.
All right.
What the hell is that giant? Dude, I'm looking forward to this.
It's going to be sick.
This looks so fun.
This looks like a...
This is like
better than Left 4 Dead everywhere. when's this come out yeah right next year except for release 2021 i'm gonna dive into this i would buy this right now yeah oh yeah
yeah i loved vermintide like i don't know how much time i put into vermintide but a
fucking lot in a very short amount of time um same you know and i i i am into the 40k
lore a little bit yeah i don't know much about the 40k lore it is dense if they were to say hey uh
you know this game costs a little more than we thought it's 90 bucks i would say
take my money i'm so yeah yeah oh yeah i will get 90 of pleasure out of that yeah i absolutely would
yeah like like i got so much use out of vermintide like i played the shit out of that game
like yeah hours and hours and hours of that game yeah i got this looks fun
there's there's gonna be uh it looks like there's a lot more fps um you know obviously with guns
right like modern type machine guns being a thing i like that they've got a class-based situation
where i don't know the lore well enough to explain that giant human but that's clearly some sort of a genetic abomination that's been created uh gonna be the tank yeah yeah and playing as a tank is the most forgiving i think
that's why i really actually prefer the tank characters i like the glass cannon characters
i like yeah i like dancing around and then whichever one's fastest is the easiest to me
yeah and i think about it like there's uh hacks and escape from tarkov that
make you go too fast and whenever i run up against one of those they're it's impossible they get to
control when the fight starts and ends and like you have no chance they always win i want to be
that guy well it looked like the hammer lady was pretty quick so she might be the speedy one
i gotta see they probably didn't show us all the characters
anyway i noticed there were four and i wish there were six right because if it's like the other one
you play in a group of four which means everyone has to be like i don't know it's more on rails
when there's four choices and you need to choose all four yeah but then of course there's three
there's like multiple um types of each class as well probably
yeah when two came out were there only four and they added two more later or of those six but in
there the whole time i don't know i think they added okay i don't know if that my guess would
be they just released with four but i know they've added some and they've definitely added like i
think they call them career paths or something like
that um they definitely added multiple career paths as the thing went uh as the game grew they
just uh put a new career path in like a month ago for the dwarf oh really i knew there was a new one
for marcus gruber i think the one i leveled up yeah the grail knight yeah yeah uh anyway yeah i'd play
vervintide again i'd play zombies again too oh sure yeah i'm always down for some zombies they
they're having a christmas thing right now so the dogs are are like look like i don't know
they have antlers like reindeer did you see that you can pet them now yeah if you've turned the dog into a uh a brain rot dog you you have
the option to give them a little if you don't play this game chat uh brain rot is an effect
where you can shoot it instead of them dying they become on your team so you can shoot a dog
have them become your ally and pet him which i like and don't think of a cute dog think
of like just a just a monstrosity of a hellhound but he's loving somehow when you brain rot him
like he nuzzles when you pet him it's good i may have even seen like in a thumbnail like santa and
his reindeer flying over the map um so yeah they added some christmas shirt
those big guys in like a santa hat and a red coat that would be like that
yeah and then when they split they can like be wearing what uh will ferrell does in elf
oh i just like that yeah see kyle did you play tarkov last christmas i think you did yeah i think so yeah i got the
christmas gift with a bunch of bullshit in it yeah so i don't have any gifts but i remember
being able so i didn't play but i heard about how you could decorate your hideout you could
get christmas lights and stuff like that yeah christmas is in 10 days bro maybe it's russian christmas and i'm i'm unaware um yeah they did
this thing where you had a new um thing in your hideout a new like you had a christmas tree
yeah they put a christmas tree in there and i don't remember exactly how it worked but it seemed
like there were christmas balls in the game,
like those little balls you put on trees.
Uh,
and,
and you could combine them together for bonuses or something like that.
Like,
like I don't remember exactly how it worked.
It seemed like,
Oh,
I know.
I think maybe you were using them as the Christmas tree,
just like you use the scav box,
but it was powered by those balls i
think we'll see i just remember correctly it's been a year exactly i installed an update at the
start of the show so i haven't started the game maybe it's in there it's a good time to grind
lots of lots of free shit with the if they do the christmas ball christmas tree shit again
yeah i mean it it's cool i want to do it i just want to see new content i want new content so much i uh i'm impossibly rich in this game at this point so yeah one thing they
changed since you played bitcoin is tied into the real life cost of bitcoin again which means every
coin is like 260 000 rubles okay they just throw like over a million rubles at me a day for not like as a baseline i'm
yeah so money's not an issue it's neat it changes it into a different kind of shooter when
you're super rich some people like it some people don't yeah i i like both it's really fun when
you're grinding and you're just like this scrappy little uh always punching up and uh really you know when you when you take down a big
guy you're like oh my god he's got so many things that i don't have but it's also kind of fun to be
in a team full of guys who have everything and just kind of bullying the the server sometimes
it feels like other games and i know not everyone wants to hear tarkov talk all the time but other
games like they do their very best to balance it.
They try so hard.
So if you have an SMG and I have a shotgun, you know what?
Control the engagement and you can win.
This game is like, no, no, no.
Did you go in with a cheap kit?
Good luck.
Woody's decked out.
By the way, if you shoot him in the chest,
it will take you 30 bullets.
The gun holds 20.
Yeah, yeah.
You'll have to reload to take him down.
And if Woody hits you twice during that time, you're dead.
I've literally, like, early game, like, walked up behind somebody and be like,
all right, I got him where I want him.
And, like, empty, like, some bullshit gun with bullshit ammo into a guy's, like,
killer helmet. And he's just going
and he just turns around he's just so angry with me and kills me with one bullet i've done that
yeah in my case it was ai i the ai was like not working right or something like i shot him in the
head in the helmet i should say yeah 30 times and these aren't maybes, right? This is an 8R, so it's a single shot.
30 confirmed hits on the helmet with the ammo called Wormage, if anyone knows it.
Oh, that's garbage.
It does a lot of flesh damage, but it doesn't penetrate armor.
And I knew that intellectually, but I'd never used it before.
I didn't know how bad it was against armor.
So when I shot him in the head 30 times and he didn't die,
I thought maybe he was bugged
or there was this weird animation
where he was dead.
So I walked up to him
and he turned and shot me.
I was like,
that's what happens
when you don't risk a lot.
You have to risk your wealth
to succeed in this game
or you're at a huge disadvantage.
And that's a big aspect of the gameplay.
It's a good game. It's a good game.
It's a good game.
So, oh, we're over an hour.
Yeah, you guys have been on the college show.
I'm about to go eat some dinner.
I think so. I'm so hungry.
EKN, 3.30.