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we're live pkn 355 well this is nice yes we're using a new recording technology so
steamyard.com and if it doesn't work it's their fault at steamyard
steamyard isn't that what it says steamyard no stream yard stream wow i need new glasses
so bad so i was my i was out with my fiance the other day.
We went out to dinner with a couple friends.
And I've been having this fear of like, I'm getting married in the next few weeks.
And I got this fear just two weeks ago of like a nightmare of getting my suit and being too fat to get in it.
It was an absolute nightmare.
And so starting like two weeks ago, I was like, Oh, Oh no.
It was like 10 days ago. I just, so I went out to dinner.
I ate really healthy there. I wasn't,
I wasn't having any liquid calories or anything as I understood. Okay.
I'm sorry. Yeah. And then, uh, you know, she is, you know,
wanting to come home. She's had a few drinks. And so I'm driving back and I forget in my glasses, like even stone sober through these glasses, like, boom, like Marvel style halos around every single light that I see.
driven in my glasses in a while seeing all of the red lights is just a sea of red they bleed into each other a little bit and i was like 10 and 2 with like no traffic out there on the highway not
letting on and she's like are you okay do you need me to drive and i'm like you just had like
three three dollar long islands like i could do this i could do this and so i just squinted my
way home george costanza style it was way more stressful than i than i thought good reference
that's a good yeah i saw a dime across the room and i went over there and got it but yeah man oh you guys wouldn't empathize with the
glasses thing but it is like a little bit of a panic when you get behind the wheel and then like
you don't want to admit that you can't see as well as you should be able to i the closest i've come
is when i had that fucking eye patch on and i was driving home driving home with one eye is
interesting no depth perception
could have no depth perception and then it's so hard to see out of like the back of my car it's
like it was it was very dangerous i didn't have to go far though luckily the uh the surgery center
was like three miles away good good woody you're somewhere new you either downsized your house or
you're on your trip or jackie's finally had enough. Dude, so
the morning I left,
it was kind of
emotional. Jackie came to me.
I'm in the kitchen. I'm making myself
breakfast. I'm kind of getting ready to go.
It's early. I didn't wake everyone up at
six something.
She's there in tears.
She says, I don't want you to leave.
I'm like,
That's so sweet. And she's there in tears. And she says, I don't want you to leave. And I'm like, what?
That's so sweet.
What am I supposed to do?
I want to give her the things that she wants, but we've been planning this for months.
The world knows my friend is going.
He's packing his stuff.
This is emotion, woman.
You can't tell me.
You don't want me to go the morning I'm leaving.
Bikes in the garage.
I just love her up
a little bit.
Later, being
you.
Sucks
to suck.
I'm driving away doing clickbait
titles in my head like
episode one, leaving my wife.
Should have got her on film.
And then the thumbnail is her all teary-eyed.
Jeez, I hate it.
Isn't that like the kind of thumbnails that one family, like from 10 years ago,
like the first family that did vlog Shay Carl
and like didn't
they have a bunch of titles and thumbnails like
that like my wife's leaving me
you know kid dies and then like their
family did actually like blow up because he was
like cheating with women in the DMs
right
famous he flew too close to the sun
you know what he got he lost his
weight and it like that's true yeah that's dangerous He flew too close to the sun. You know what? He lost his weight.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
That's dangerous. You marry a big fat person and then he gets... Well, the richness didn't
help either and the fame didn't help, but the losing weight.
That's a big part too.
Yeah.
I had a thing to add.
I don't know.
He's a big fat person.
Didn't that ruin his career
because like if you've built you all of your kind of shit on being a family man look at the
saccharine smile me and my kids hanging out this is organic like i don't know it can work though
it can work though because like as a kid obviously i grew up with danny tanner right
right i didn't know that that guy told the dirtiest jokes in the world
but as a when i became a man when i was a man grown and i discovered like the like the the
blue comedy i was like this is some funny shit this is pretty fucking good like it was even
better to see that like danny tanner that guy who was like there during your childhood
living with those other three men in san francisco telling some dirty jokes yeah yeah they were three
men living together and they were in san francisco they were i never thought of that if you carefully
do it as your audience grows up that's one thing i don't feel like shay carroll had a master plan
here he just other women he just fucked other we just made a mistake you know i yeah i've i don't
know if this is true but it's something i've heard danny tanner uh what the fuck bob sack and that's his name but i don't
think he was that dirty of a comedian before full house like i think part of it was like he was a
stand-up comedian before full house and then like i think you know it's like maybe he's an o and a
interview with someone adjacent to him said that he thought it ruined his image as like a funny
comic because he knew that Full House isn't funny
like you think he's going around like I can't wait to film this episode he's like this shit
is so gay like the whole time you just know that and so he went he doubled down as severe and you're
this cunt and this fucking like I could totally see that trying to re-salvage his edgy comedian
after what 10 years of being you know a cohabitor
with two with well jesse was getting laid joey was living was hanging out with joey found that
there weren't enough kids in his house so he went and got a job as like a children's tv host when
remember he had the puppet he had a little hand puppet and he found other kids even younger kids
to hang out with.
Joey was a fucking creep, the more I'm thinking about it.
Joey was a huge pedophile.
Which one got her kids into college?
That was a full house chick, right?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That was the second oldest, right?
No.
No, that was the wife of Jesse.
That was Jesse's wife.
Yeah, yeah.
Dude, that woman's super hot.
People should have left her alone.
Yeah, I remember like...
And white. I remember like... And white!
I remember being...
She should be able to break the law.
I remember when I was laying in bed,
learning to beat off.
Like her,
I thought she was hot as shit.
And then Urkel's
not girlfriend
or whatever,
but the young actor, that black girl that he was had
a crush on she had the biggest fucking tits on earth even under like the family matters sweater
you could tell and so i remember just like imagining like her big tits and jacking off at
like 10 i remember when i was learning to jack off at like 19 probably and uh so i'm reading like penthouse letters and there was a scene in it
where they mentioned that like their wrist a wrist brushed somebody's dick and there was just
jolts of electricity and magic so i'm like all right that's a clue how the fuck is this done
you're rubbing your own wrists on your dick yes at least you didn't go to the electrical outlet
oh yeah all right here we go
oh that's it's just so stupid i remember once like hearing the phrase like oh take a cold
shower in the context of like horniness and being like does that like make you hornier
does that like make that better and i remember like taking a cold shower i'm maybe like 12
and i was just like oh oh whoever likes this is wrong like and it's like oh it's the opposite
like i didn't put the pieces together at the time uh you're taking a warm shower see if it makes
you horny should have should have it was also probably in the context of like being hung over
and i didn't quite get it like reading some forum i shouldn't have been reading at 12 do you remember doing that
like kyle you were a little older than me but so you probably remember it even more like going into
like chat rooms and and like websites and and like that were just way too adult for you oh yeah
yeah and having that that probably wasn't good for a lot of people. Was it not, not for our souls?
No,
no,
no.
I'm,
I'm a rep really changed.
Well,
that was years before even like beheadings,
that kind of shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's in some ways the,
the violence,
the fact that the violence came later in like the,
my internet life after all the gross stuff,
like I felt a little tent like tempered for it all the gross stuff like i felt a little tent
like tempered for it because the gross stuff stole a good bit of soul it only in the last few weeks
have we talked about like taylor's maturation process and the internet's impact on it and
there's a lot of things that are kind of timeless you know bicycles or whatever growing up girls
but this like do you remember going into chat rooms that were really way too old for your
age group let's listen no i don't remember this at all there has never been a chat room to
age inappropriate for me yeah what he's like uh i had the opposite problem
this guy in that in new jersey really wants to hang out with me.
It's just,
I didn't like chat rooms.
They were never my,
my thing.
You just went to like interest forums, like woodworking and like forums.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Websites devoted to stuff that I,
oh my goodness.
I'm a veteran.
10 five digit poster,
five digit poster.
I remember like there was this this forum
all of when i was like i must have been 12 or 13 and it was like when lord of the rings came out
and like all these people were like like i found a forum on lord of the ring or maybe i was like
13 or 14 i was playing lord of the rings cards at the time it was like the first card game i got
into i hadn't experienced magic yet it was like a strategy game of similar ilk to magic just about lord of the rings characters and i remember
i went on this site and i was like i'm gonna find a bunch of friends to talk to about magic
or about lord of the rings cards and like being like 13 i didn't get that a lot like some of
these like general forums because it would be like lord of the rings discussion lord of the rings
role playing lord of the rings blah blah blah and then there'd be like Lord of the Rings discussion, Lord of the Rings role-playing, Lord of the Rings blah, blah, blah. And then there'd be like general discussion,
and like people would be having like sexy conversations
like as Aragorn and Arwen, and I'm like 13 reading it.
And like even something then was like, this is wrong.
Like this is – I shouldn't be reading this.
I thought I was going to make friends here
who were going to talk to me about Lord of the Rings.
What was the name of that website?
I cannot remember. For the life of me i can't remember but i
do remember that about 10 years ago i did remember it and i tried and it was it was i could not find
it anywhere i couldn't even find it on the wayback machine and so it's fucking expunged and gone
probably for the best probably for the best yeah the innocence you go into forums with as a kid
like oh i'm gonna learn about a hobby i'm interested in it's like pedophiles around
every corner or or some like there you you imagine that now you imagine it now because
of how much it's harped upon and back then what were people like like i feel like the
accountability back then was so much less than it is now. What do you mean?
People were okay with pedophiles back then?
I don't know how the internet works, but I felt like it would be more of a wild west back then.
They could get away with it more.
Yeah, I don't think there were – there certainly weren't people out there freelancing to hunt pedophiles down.
There was no – what did I call that fucker?
There's no Chris – Rascal McGoverns that fucker? Rascal McGoverns?
There's no Rascal McGoverns.
He didn't exist yet. He hadn't come into being yet.
Chris Hansen hadn't even come up with that idea.
He was still... What was he doing?
Cheating on his wife with some lady at Dateline
or whatever he was up to.
He hadn't even come into play yet.
At least he was cheating with an adult.
Yeah, an adult woman.
Yeah, he's not a hypocrite.
No, I don't know. That's good.
He's a scumbag.
He's kind of a piece of shit.
That's why he started it.
I don't know the situation of his marriage.
Yeah, maybe his wife was a cunt.
Yeah, maybe she was a cunt.
Maybe she said, go explore greener pastures.
And then she flipped the script on him
when it was time for the divorce proceeding.
She's like, I never told you that. He then he's like well it was all your idea you think that's going to be
a future thing because like in some states like getting divorced if you mention or can prove
infidelity it's like all right you know there's different like state required allotments where
it's like this person was uh was not true to you and so you're not getting as much money as you otherwise would.
With all these poly things going on now, I feel like that can be manipulated where, you know, if someone like – if Susie is with Steve and Steve – and they're both in a poly thing, and then, you know, Steve decides – or Susie decides she wants a divorce, she could go,
oh, well, Steve's been sleeping around with Samantha over there for the last five – look at their texts years and years oh he pretended that it was okay but it never was he was delusional
are you denying me my truth he was abusing me he was denying me he was gaslighting me into thinking
this was okay i never realized that i was being emotionally abused until i finally bravely came
out of this scenario like that's i can totally see that happening. I bet what often happens too is like there's a poly scenario, but are they all equals?
Or are we married and she's like our steady side chick for the two of us?
And then when there's a divorce or something, she doesn't have any legal representation.
She doesn't have any rights.
There's no marriage contract.
Or like, I don't know if one of them is hurt.
Can we even make decisions
for her at the hospital are we more than friends from a legal standpoint no yeah yeah i guess i
don't i don't i don't want the the side chick in my relationship making any fucking medical
decisions for me at the hospital anyway like right in this scenario it's oh my dad no no no
this is a married thruple but since you can't be triple married in real life,
you know, one of them just sort of held off.
Yeah, I'll be right back.
Yeah.
Man.
You want to take any bets on what he's got?
I guarantee it's pizza and hot wings.
He cheats when he gets on the road.
I would bet, I think every time I've ever seen him eat,
it's been pizza on the road, right?
What's, Domino's?
I'm going to say.
He has no taste.
I'll take pizza hut
he's not gonna go for a local place no way it's pizza hut yeah is it uh wait hold on is it a local
pizza place no is it a pizza place it's a chain no it's not pizza
it is do you want me you can't guess it it is a local place that doesn't exist like all over
called stellar's and i got a cauliflower flatbread but it's kind of a pizza do you want to see it
it's pretty difficult to eat this looks like a pizza to me. I don't know.
There you go.
Dude, the cauliflower crust is on our, it's really not that bad.
We've made some at home with that.
And as long as you put enough cheese on it, it's good.
I'm having a hard time.
So in some places, it's not that bad eating healthy.
You just get like grilled chicken off the menu and you're okay.
The DoorDash options in Lawrenceburg, Tennessee are limited. limited so i would imagine so yeah i would imagine so i saw you were how how far ahead of schedule are you again we were a day
ahead of schedule we're kind of back on schedule because we didn't travel today like this is the
spot i wanted to record the show from i kind of eyed it up as having good internet even before we left and uh the first
couple days of the trip we're about getting here on time and doing the show okay and uh so yeah we
got a day in advance now we're here lawrenceburg tennessee i think and um go get them tomorrow we
travel again good luck catch me if you can great movie great movie i need to re-watch that uh you know what's
really good that i haven't i've only seen once for some reason it's a road to perdition
oh that's got tom hanks in it yeah and it's sad right sad sad he's like a he's like an enforcer
for like an old-timey like uh organized crime family and things go awry and he has to hit the
road with the with his son hiding from a
hired killer. The thing about that movie, going in, because I had scrolled past it numerous times
and never watched it until a few years ago. And it's like, Tom Hanks is a hit man. That doesn't
gel in my head. And then you watch and it's like, oh, that Tom Hanks, he's a really good actor.
Of course he can pretend to be a hitman
yeah yeah yeah he can do whatever he wants he do fucking whatever he wants he's really good
which movie is this road to perdition perdition yeah it's um i don't know probably came out in
like 2000 something like that yeah 2000 wow that's older than i thought okay yeah that's a good one
he's has tom hanks slowed down
a bunch you mean with like production of movies yeah i feel like i don't see any movies coming
out where it's like he made that world war ii movie where he was like the uh the admiral of
that fleet um a couple years ago but i think i think mostly it's just that the pandemic has slowed so much stuff down.
Oh, maybe.
How old is he? He's probably 55?
65.
And what's recent? He did that Captain
Sully movie. He did that one where
I am the captain. Now.
Whatever that is.
And I think
he's behind the camera a lot, too.
That seems to be a natural. I think he's got a hot daughter. I think maybe his daughter the camera a lot too. That seems to be a natural.
I think he's got a hot daughter.
I think maybe his daughter's an actress too.
All those guys have hot daughters that act.
Chet Hanks.
He's the funny one, right?
I've never heard of Chet Hanks.
The one who posts ridiculous shit on Instagram.
I feel like I saw him trending on Twitter for doing something absurd.
Who's his hot son?
His hot son? His hot daughter?
Unless it's changed. Tom Hanks has been married
to his wife for ages.
I think they have a 30 or 40 year
marriage. Something really long.
What a fool. Good for him.
Rita Wilson.
Wait. I hope not.
Is it that who Danny DeVito married?
Yeah. Rita Wilson?
No. Carla from Cheers.
No, Rhea Perlman.
That's Rhea Perlman. We both popped the same.
Yeah, god damn it. Yeah, we both went
straight there. Okay.
Can you imagine how easy it is
to follow up Danny DeVito?
You start
dating Rhea Perlman and she's like
my ex is here and you're like who?
And you see
some guy roll in
and you're like oh yes!
I don't know.
Look how tall I am.
Who's the guy who busted his knee
trying to dunk a basketball? Tom Segura
maybe?
That guy's
fuck. Is that his name?
He's sexy as fuck compared to Danny DeVito.
I don't know.
Same height in a wheelchair.
I think Danny DeVito has a crowd of people around him
who are all super happy to meet him
and he's making everybody laugh.
I bet he's one of those people who
he's magnetic
and he's got an energy
about him that makes him appear
a little bigger than he normally is although he is just like it's true i bet in real life he doesn't
want the attention i bet i i bet like i mean maybe not now he's like 100 yeah he is but he's the kind
of guy that like has been in the limelight and is naturally funny enough that if he wanted to kind
of like hold court and like get attention and
rile like he could totally do that like gary like if you're four foot ten you're gonna be
either miserable or charismatic as can be yeah yeah i saw um bagel boy or devito
yeah exactly yeah clint eastwood's son was was on uh the joe rogan uh podcast uh the other day and
i watched i watched some of that.
That was really fascinating.
I don't know if you've seen that guy.
He looks a lot like Clint Eastwood.
He's good looking.
Oh, yeah.
And it was cool.
I like when Joe just – I like Joe.
I like what he did there because he did what I would do.
He was just like, and then there was the outlaw Josie Wells.
That was a good one.
They're just going back and forth. He's like, yeah, yeah, and every witch wayie Wells. That was a good one. They're just going back and forth.
He's like, yeah, yeah.
And every witch way but loose.
That was great too.
Are they just talking about what movies of his dad's they like?
Yeah, there was like 15 minutes where it was just that.
It was just like, and then he did this.
Yeah, I know, right?
Can you believe it?
And it's just like Clint Eastwood stories, just the stuff he's done.
Was his son ever just like, you want to just get my dad on?
Yeah, could you? Could you want to just get my dad on? You know, he can come.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Could you?
Could you call?
Could you get him on speakerphone at least?
I wonder what it's like to grow up being his dad.
That's what he asked him.
Is he automatically cool?
Carry on.
He's like, well, you know, my dad's 93 and I'm 35.
So he kind of had me later in life.
And he's like, wow, wow.
Are you his youngest kid oh no he's got a 20 he's got a 22 year old
what have you been in the 70s yeah i had a kid in the 70s uh and joe jumped in he was like two
he's got a two-year-old as well but uh but he was talking about like just sitting with clint and
like him telling stories he's like yeah there was this one time i was yeah about just sitting with Clint and him telling stories. He was like, yeah, there was this one time I was there with Frank Sinatra.
And we went to the ballroom.
He said, wait, did you say you were Frank Sinatra?
Yeah, I think so.
He's lived like 90 years of nonsense.
He's been a movie star since Black and White, since Gunsmoke, right?
Was he on Gunsmoke? Or was it was that was he on gun smoke
or was it uh he was on one of those black and white westerns i can't okay last i get to say
sorry kyle this was before my time i don't know he was in gun smoke yeah yeah my dad likes gun smoke
um the uh yeah i love clint eastwood i love those movies they talked about the unforgiven i think that joe said maybe that was his favorite and uh and i think which is my second favorite and
his son's favorite i believe was uh the outlaw josie wales which is my favorite
dude they used to make tv shows at a blistering pace this show gun smoke had nine seasons. 480 episodes.
Now it's like
Rick and Morty's like, here's
eight. Fuck you.
Here's an eight episode
or ten episode season.
This changed
with streaming services.
It's like 50 a year.
It's like 50 something a year.
Good God.
It's 53 a year I think like 50 something a year 50 something good god so they see a new episode every week and there were no 53 a year i think roughly in my head yeah so every week no concept
of reruns like holy shit that's exactly one episode a week every every week forever for
almost a decade for 480 weeks wow that's wild and now we can't keep up. Which, fair enough for animation.
I don't know.
If you go back and watch an episode of Gunsmoke,
and you're like, yeah, they made this in four days.
I get it.
I get it.
Like, an episode of Gunsmoke will be like,
one character has been losing all of his money gambling,
and now he wants to start a garden to make some money,
but he needs to borrow money to garden.
But then he goes and loses the gardening money gambling, and then another guy in town wants to gun a garden to make some money, but he needs to borrow money to garden. But then he goes and loses the gardening money gambling.
And then another guy in town wants to gunfight the sheriff.
That's the whole episode.
And it's that over and over?
Pretty much.
It never gets too deep.
You've got like two or three main characters and a town,
townsfolk and all that sort of thing.
It's like a big stage play they do every week, it sounds like.
I didn't know there were that many.
I didn't know they did them weekly for nine years.
I knew there were a ton, though.
Westerns were the superhero
movie of their day.
I was waiting for Taylor to come up
with the numbers, because I was all ready to count them.
Walking Dead does 16.
Supernatural does 20. They still do it.
Then he came up with, ah, good thing
you shut the fuck up. Saturday Night Live.
SNL is the only thing that competes.
And Tonight Show, those weekly... And look at the quality of those, right?
True, but SNL, how many shows a year does it do?
It can't be more than 20.
It seems like it's on hiatus most of the time.
No? Am I wrong?
I've never really watched it.
I mean, I don't watch anymore,
but I was under the impression that they did an episode every single week.
It looks like 20 episodes a season.
How can that be?
I don't know.
I just went to Saturday Night Live season 46, and it says 20 episodes.
Because they don't do episodes most of the year.
Yeah, until the end of the year.
They have a huge off-season.
What a bunch of lazy fucks.
I thought they did one every Saturday night.
They do for 20 weeks
in a row and then they do their side projects work harder i've never watched teachers work harder
yeah the teachers probably do work harder than people on snl but yeah i just i've never watched
more snl than like those clips of like more cowbell and stuff like just because like my dad
and like my parents watched it, I've always associated it as
that's an old, foggy show.
What? It started in the 70s? That's not for me.
It used to be good, man. It used to be good.
It has...
It used to be good.
But it hasn't been good
in 30 years.
Okay, that's a little different. I feel like people
have been saying SNL was
good 10 years ago for the last 30 years. No, it was not. It was not good 10 years ago. SNL was good 10 years ago
for the last 30 years.
No, it was not. It was not good 10 years ago.
It was not good 20 years ago. It wasn't good 25 years ago.
You didn't like the Will Ferrell
times?
Actually, I did like some Will Ferrell stuff.
I like some sketches from
Will Ferrell. That's different than saying the show
was good. Every now and then,
I got Will Ferrell on the show and it's like,
holy shit,
this guy is really good.
And then there was the guy who did Clinton.
That guy who stayed on the show forever.
I think the lonely Island stuff was top notch.
Is it Adam Sandberg?
Do I have that right?
Andy Sandberg.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That,
that was really funny,
but,
but those were like,
I'm a boss.
That was the one about coming your pants.
Maybe.
Yeah, that was funny. I'm on a boat.
I bought the album.
You bought the album.
I liked it a lot.
Yeah, but to go back to when it was good,
I think it was good when Chris Farley was on
and David Spade
and
Adam Sandler and
Rob Schneider.
And maybe even, no, he wasn't on yet.
I think Chris Rock might have overlapped with some of those guys.
I like that.
I like that.
That's when I watched it a lot.
And then obviously going back to the 70s when you had like an all-star cast of people and writers on there,
it was just ridiculous.
And you've got to keep in mind, it's humor from the
70s, so it may seem a little dumb,
but you've got to remember,
they're all high as fuck on cocaine right
now, going out there and just winging it.
It's still really fucking good.
I wonder how big a star
they were. Dan Aykroyd, to me
anyway, is like a Hollywood
royalty, right? He keeps going.
Jim Belushi, I think? James Belushi? Oh, is it keeps going um jim belushi i think james belushi
um oh is it john okay john belushi was on it eddie murphy i mean god that's a hollywood
got me confused now there's just no telling anyway when these guys were on snl were they
like young up-and-comers or were they heavy hitters i think they were young up-and-comers
um chevy chase has always been a real scumbag.
When it was Chevy Chase and Bill Murray
and those guys,
I think Chevy came afterwards, maybe.
I don't remember if Chevy was an original.
When it was Belushi, though,
I liked Belushi a lot. Belushi did this sketch.
I think it was him that did it.
Julia Childs is probably before
your time, Taylor, but do you remember Julia Childs? She was him that did it. Julia Childs is probably before your time, Taylor.
But do you remember Julia Childs?
She was the cook lady. She stood on a big chair.
Yeah, she was a cook lady.
Okay.
He's got this skit where he does Julia Childs.
And you've got to keep in mind, this is like an ugly fat man, overweight man at the very least, who's playing a very ugly woman.
And it just works.
And she had this sort of voice she would use when she would prepare dinner.
And he could just nail it.
And he's cutting himself
accidentally and there's blood going everywhere
and so she's slowly getting more and more
faint as she goes.
As a kid
when I watched that, I thought that was the funniest
shit I've ever seen. We're just rolling on the
floor laughing, watching him
bleed out.
I don't know, but it's not that funny anymore i don't think it's that funny anymore um i don't even watch every now and then a clip will get recommended to me and i watch it and i'm
that's not funny i was gonna say that i feel like tv is tv in particular maybe movies too but
especially tv has improved so much during my lifetime. Shit like Breaking Bad, even The Walking Dead,
Game of Thrones when it was good.
Stuff like that is so much better.
The old
formula of just
lame, shitty jokes and a laugh track
that you see on Friends,
they're not...
It's so much better now.
Even the sitcoms are better, and I don't
really like sitcoms.
Although, you know, there was Seinfeld back then.
Seinfeld did its own.
Seinfeld somehow, like, rises above the laugh track to me.
It was just kind of like.
It had one?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Seinfeld is up.
It's in the discussion for best shows of all time.
It's in my top ten for sure.
You know, like, it's just so good. for sure you know like it's just so it's so good
there's so many episodes um there's they're so well written they're so interesting to me
um and then it was just a big part of my childhood because i watched i watched my parents every night
and they loved it the um yeah but you're right there's there's so much good tv now like
there's so much good tv that you forget about shows that are just like four star shows.
And you're like,
Oh shit,
that's right.
That thing exists.
Like Ozark.
When's the last time you thought about Ozark?
I'm so ready for another season of Ozark.
Remember that cliffhanger it ended on with fucking literal,
literal brains getting sprayed,
sprayed,
sprayed everywhere.
Yeah.
I think season two was better than one.
And that's uncommon.
Yeah.
That that's,
I haven't thought about ozark i we're entering that period now where like the covid entertainment supply chain
is hitting us yeah you want to consume it i was reading it not reading we're watching videos
dude people have money right now this economy is ready to slingshot back and supply chain issues are gigantic. There are boats
waiting weeks outside Los Angeles ports. And I guess all the discretionary money people used to
dump into, say, restaurants and movies have either been saved or dumped into other things.
Pools are exploding right now. People are just staycationing. It would be interesting to see what happens
and how this supply chain resolves itself.
Cars, they thought
there'd be a slowdown in manufacturing with this
upcoming recession, depression type
thing. We had hit unemployment numbers
worse than the Great Depression.
Outrageously bad,
but it was so short-lived that
people overestimated
what the downturn was going to be.
We're here to reap these rewards.
Can you say that again?
I was saying, is car manufacturing up?
Really?
I figured with everybody working from home, it would have slowed down.
I don't know if it's up.
I know they're not meeting their demand.
I guess there's an issue with it.
There's a silicon shortage.
I always say silicone.
I think a silicon shortage, though.
Not only is there a chip demand is high, but silicon is low.
And silicon is used in the vials for the COVID distribution.
And that's been a big consumer.
How can it be low? Silicon is sand is sand yeah we have plenty of sand yeah we've got yeah i've just got a bag in my garage is it worth something
it's valuable now it's like more chips or whatever the fuck it seems like there's a
huge problem with moving shit around right now. Everyone does this just-in-time inventory systems.
And if there's any hiccup in the global distribution system that just keeps reverberating and waves bouncing around everywhere causing all this trouble, then just-in-time sucks for customers.
Oh, yeah.
The just-in-time shit, like seeing kind of the back end of retail and how that like like the razor thin like just get it
there right before the customer's hand reaches out to grab it and it's like any more time that
it sits on the shelf we're losing money like that's the way a lot of them see it but it's
like that's the way they fucking see it and so like it's so crazy how quickly like if you like
there's like diagrams online stuff you get in articles you can read where it's like if trucks
like if truckers if every trucker in the country was just like i've got meningitis for the next three days three days is what it
would take for every store that you can go out and see to not just be low on inventory it's a
ghost town it's people fist fighting in there and there's like cans of olives maybe like that's
that's the level i laughed at survivalists for years. And now I'm like, it seems more likely than I used to think it was.
I would have this like, oh, you want to change your life?
Don't pack dry food.
Go to community college and learn to weld.
And there's still some truth to that.
But like you said, all you need is like run out of diesel for a little bit.
The system is more fragile than i thought
nobody at walmart is like well but we need to make sure people have access to the goods they need
nobody's saying that they're like is it is our turn correct are we making every every penny from
every inch of shelf space we can what's that that's been sitting there for three days and it
hasn't turned like talk to the manufacturer we're getting something new we're talking to the manufacturer
tell them they're done they talk to png and take whatever they have to fill that slot like it is
so it's staggering how fast that stuff because you only ever like have that little snapshot in a
store where you're like oh i bet that toilet paper that's up there has that been there all day has
that been there for 20 minutes you don't know you don't know when the last time somebody came around it's way way faster than you think and that's just the retail
on the manufacturing side of the same thing exists you know if i have enough silicon on hand
to build chips for two weeks what the fuck am i doing why is my money all tied up in silicon
it should have showed up the nanosecond i needed it yeah and like yeah it's totally
downstream walmart or the retailer tells the manufacturer you better not have anything show
up in our distribution center even two seconds before it's ready with the space and so every
manufacturer is like all right we gotta walk this razor's edge like oh no we're sitting on inventory
something that was like good business 30 years ago is cataclysmic right now like oh no so it's yeah it's crazy like i
think a lot of people's eyes were open to the covid thing if only for toilet paper like how
quickly those goods can be gone yes and how long it can take it to refill like that pipeline took
forever with toilet paper oh oh yeah the the colonial pipeline do i have that name right
the company that was hacked and ransomware and all that fun stuff recently.
Sounds right. Yeah.
Dude, we ran out of gas here and it took a while for it. Not here. I'm not in Raleigh anymore. But in Raleigh, you couldn't buy gas. And I was like, really? Are we really out? I look around. None of the gas stations by me had gas. It was like 75% out. I took my motorcycle for a spin.
That was about right. You had to get away from
where I live to find any fuel. Is it fine
now? Yes.
It took a bit. They turned the pipeline on and it was probably
10 days later it was fine. There were a couple of stations
here that were out
when they had that pipeline thing.
It was still easy
to get. It was like, we'll go to the next one
down the road. It was that sort of thing. It was just, oh, we'll go to the next one down the row. It was that sort of thing.
But there were like, it was just like the fucking beginning of COVID with the toilet paper thing.
Everybody, the lines were everywhere.
Like, we got to fill up.
I'm like, this is why we're out.
This is why we're out.
Like, even poor people.
I just remember this guy, he's like paying with change.
He's got a double handful of change he's gotten out of his car.
He's like, I've got to get as much as I can get.
I need as much gasoline as I can
possibly get.
He probably didn't get much.
I was trying to
save money by not buying gas until it was cheaper.
I guess I'll go to. My truck's about
empty. It's going to sit there for six weeks.
I might save 10 cents
a gallon. You're the cheapest man. $3.
What are you going to do with all that money?
What are you going to do with $3?
There's no telling.
I could do anything.
Get some more chalk for your gym, almost.
Not even quite.
You can get one of those chalk pouches.
No chalk.
You'll have to provide your own.
Don't you know Woody reuses his chalk?
He sweeps it up.
Can you imagine being that cheap
that he'd sweep up chalk?
Yeah, imagine.
He's putting it in a dustpan
and throwing it away.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You're throwing money away!
What do you mean chalk?
Yeah.
You think chalk grows on trees?
Yeah.
Now there's dust in there.
It's even better.
It just springs out of the ground.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it literally just springs out of the ground.
Well,
fair enough.
Where does chalk come from?
Is it
between rocks or something?
I think it is a rock.
It's a rock that's crumbled up.
It's a shit rock.
You can't do much other than lubricate with it,
huh?
Barely even that.
Yeah.
Grip.
You can draw on the
sidewalk with it.
It's terrible.
Sex loop.
Just awful.
Cakes up.
It gets
like pasty.
I found pasty.
Pasty.
Yeah.
It's like a it's like a
dough after a while.
It's like plaster.
Yeah.
You're just
spackling.
You shut her pussy shut.
Her pussy looks like those roofs
that have the sprayed on popcorn.
You got out.
I was stuck in there all day.
Yeah, those popcorn roofs.
Maybe I'm cemented in here.
Do you have any ideas?
We hop together to the shower.
Doesn't help them.
That would be the trick.
Oh.
I'd probably carry her reverse piggyback style.
Yeah.
That'd be the move.
Like Baby Bjorn style?
Yeah, that's a better description.
Yeah.
I don't know if it is or not
in this context. I don't know if it is or not in this context.
I didn't
finish that thought.
Kyle,
your
Colorado Avalanche,
now they're tied 2-2.
Uh-oh. There was a sweep.
I thought there was going to be a sweep.
I don't fucking know, man. I don't even know where it's going.
I did hear that somewhere. I did hear it somewhere. People are saying it was going to be a sweep. I thought there was going to be a sweep. I don't fucking know, man. I don't even know where to put it. I did hear that somewhere.
I did hear it somewhere.
People are saying it was going to be a sweep.
Of course you don't know. Who are they playing?
The Golden Knights.
Alright, you know more about this series than I thought you would.
Just a little bit.
Colorado is still going to win the series.
I'm confident in them.
Meanwhile, Hurricanes stole a game last time.
Or no, last game they
lost, but two games ago they won pretty
commandingly, I think. Hopefully they're going to win
tonight. Is it 3-1? They're behind?
Today's Monday. Yeah, they're down 3-1,
but it's not over until it's over.
They can throw three wins together. I thought Tampa Bay would
be terrible. They peaked last year.
Yeah, apparently not.
That dude, like, if you
were really into it, you would be mad at this guy
nikita kucherov who just showed up to play in the playoffs is having like a historic postseason like
he's got almost two points per game thank god he was okay to play starting the first game of the
playoff for those like kyle a point is a goal or an assist.
So like the best player, there's maybe 25 players, 20, 25,
in the whole NHL that are across their career are a point per game player.
Meaning if they've played a thousand games, they have a thousand points.
That could be 200 goals, 800 assists, 500 goals, 500 assists.
This guy is almost doubling that.
And that's elite.
This guy has, what is it, 18 points in the last 10 games?
He's just throwing it.
That's more than most teams have.
And it's like, this is bullshit.
Very unfair that they snuck into the playoffs for this nonsense.
I feel bad for Canes fans because it's like they know they're getting hosed.
As a podcasting host, this situation is tough for me.
And I'll explain
we're talking about tampa bay who have this player what's his name again kucherov he's not against
their salary cap they kind of shouldn't have him but they he didn't count against the salary cap
because he was injured but he wasn't injured clearly because he's like super healthy doing
amazing right now but they're like we'll
keep you on the injured reserve and then come the first day of the playoffs we'll say you know what
he's feeling better let's give it a go and now they have this super team beating my hurricanes
who they wouldn't be able to afford because of the salary cap that's the background i'm never
quite sure should we lay that out for people when we reference a thing we talked about and should
we assume they've seen it on another show where is the balance between the informing that they might need and
the story yeah we should probably lay it out yeah that's the smarter way to do i'm glad you did uh
but yeah this guy it's gonna be good at my job you know i don't know like where is the right way
to do this because they don't need the background every time. That would wear it out.
Yeah, we won't have to talk about it too much more.
The playoffs aren't that much longer.
But yeah, it is so fucking unfair.
But I mean, you can't even be that mad.
If you're a GM in a sport and you see a loophole,
capitalize on it.
If you don't, you might lose your job.
The owner is not going to say,
I'm glad you played by the rules. He's going to go, yeah, you you guys won the cup in 2020 and then you didn't win in 2021 because you wanted to
be honorable fuck you you're fired like you had a one of the best players in the nhl and you didn't
use them so very frustrating i want to talk about a little bit did you guys watch the logan paul
mayweather fight i thought we talked about that on the show oh you want to okay we can we can wait
yeah i went to ice's uh four hours to fill over there.
We do have four hours over there too.
I went to ice's Twitter and I saw that he did a stream yesterday on his YouTube account where he kind of live reacted to it.
And I actually watched some,
I watched the whole fight last night.
Yeah.
Yep.
And so I'm actually ready to talk about it,
but we'll save that for,
for PKA,
I suppose.
Yeah.
I guess,
uh,
you guys listen to this now. I don't know how we're gonna upload these it'll be up to woody um but
um but we're doing both of these on monday the 7th so we're doing uh five hours straight to
accommodate um everybody and uh so it's gonna be a good week it's gonna be a good week wide open
after this all the way to next Tuesday. You guys crack me up
with the times you'll be
like, my schedule
just burst wide open.
It's like Thursday night for
Tuesday night for an hour, Thursday night for four hours.
Kyle will be like, man,
I don't have to work for
11 days now.
I can pour myself into magic for eight days.
Yeah.
It's not a lot of hours.
I shouldn't fuss.
I shouldn't fuss.
But you have to be somewhere Tuesday and Thursday all the time, all the time, all the time.
Show must go on.
There's no skipping it.
Don't do it.
Don't miss it.
And then it's like, well, for the bulk of life,
that's easy. It's no problem.
Then you go six years and you're like, I haven't
really had a vacation in all that time.
You miss it.
Unless you get out of prison.
I do.
I do.
He slacked last year.
A lot of shows last year.
I wish I'd been here.
I wish I'd been here doing shows every day.
I don't know, 10-hour shows a day.
I could have stayed here.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, yeah.
But you're right.
It's more that it's like,
oh, I could go somewhere
without bringing a whole fucking setup with me.
Like eight days is
enough to like ask my probation officer if i can go to cherokee and gamble or maybe down to florida
or do something i don't know i'd go to the beach if i wanted i was telling my wife how great you
were she's like well what does kyle do when he goes somewhere like he brings his desktop he brings
his whole desk he had a boom mic in colorado honey he had a boom i
can't do that on a motorcycle i don't know how he's gonna do it but what did you ship it or did
you how do you get your i bring it i bring everything uh i i bring uh two giant suitcases
and i just fucking throw it in there but you bring everything am i right about the boom mic oh yeah
bring this fucking thing yeah i just fold this up and I take the cable and I wrap it
around it so it stays folded up and it goes in a
fucking suitcase. I have big suitcases
so it goes in there.
I've got a pretty powerful gaming laptop
that'll power everything.
So you just use a laptop?
Yeah, I don't bring my tower.
That would be nuts.
When I was bouncing around
like two years ago like awaiting
sentencing and everything and I didn't have like a
steady place to live at the time I hadn't gotten this
place yet then I was obviously
traveling around with my desk and my tower
and like every week or two I was going
from an Airbnbs every week or two
I would disassemble this desk put it
in my truck and
move to a new house and have to set everything up again
and when you do that every week like a nomad i was a fucking nomad it was it was brutal and like
after a while i got so lazy about the setup that like i didn't even go to like the office part of
the homes i was staying in right in the living room just right in the living room just slide
their couches out of the way just like yeah this is an office now just it's just me here it doesn't matter just me here just it was that was actually
fun i enjoyed that well to an extent to an extent not the you know overarching worry and stress i
imagine just the yeah not so much not so much that that wasn't any fun but it was kind of cool to
like live in a different house
every week for like
two months or something like that.
Why did you live in a different house every week for months?
I don't think I could. I couldn't find a place to stay.
I was staying with Kitty at first,
but they were trying to wrap her up in my whole
legal case because she's got her Etsy store, and they were
trying to save some sort of fucking
trafficking.
Kyle was using his guns to protect the soap.
You better buy these fucking candles!
No, they were trying to say that, like,
because, like, when you look at, like, Kitty's soap
manufacturing, it looks kind of like that scene
in Fight Club where they've got, like,
all the chemicals and stuff.
Like, she's got, like, a legitimate, like,
little manufacturing thing going on.
But it makes soap and oils and, like, shampoo and lotion and stuff. She's got a legitimate little manufacturing thing going on. But it makes soap and oils
and shampoo and lotion
and shit. But there's hydraulic presses
and there's vials and there's
big bags of white powder.
And they're down there taking pictures of all
this shit, fucking
cranking the zoom lens,
acting like it was Pablo
Escobar. Meanwhile, it's like flakes
of soy wax to make your own candles.'s like flakes of soy wax that's to
make your own flakes of soy wax it's fucking salt it's baking soda it's it's all of that shit and
so yeah they were trying to like tie her up into my i did not know that that's bullshit so my my
was like yeah it would probably be best if you didn't live with her um because it like it sort
of ties you two together more so so i just took all my shit and
moved out and uh and so i didn't have a place to go to right away and at the time housing was
difficult in atlanta like i was willing to live anywhere um i like i had a budget right like i
didn't want to pay two thousand dollars a month for a place but i was like anything between 500
because anything less than 500 a month is a real rat hole honestly anything below 700 a
month is a real rat hole for being for being fair but it depends on the area i guess but in the city
500 a month it's scary it's scary somebody's gonna steal your shit for sure um but i had like
a budget it was like yeah anything between like 1500 and like 800 a month like two bedrooms three
bedrooms garage no garage like house apartment, apartment, townhouse, whatever.
And it was like, yeah, we've got nothing.
I was like, what do you mean nothing?
No, nothing that meets that criteria.
We've got this penthouse suite over here.
It's $3,800 a day.
And it would be shit like that.
It would either be something that was literally $14,000 a month. was just like oh my god this place is incredible or it'd be like a
real rat hole or they would like send me to like the the ends of the earth and i noticed that the
demographics there really skewed away from people that looked like me i remember we were driving to
this open house and i was like you you know, I just started noticing, but
when's the last time you saw a white person? I was like, look around every car you see,
look at, look in every car, find a white person if you can. And like, it was like a game and like
winner first guy spots a fucking white person gets a thousand dollars and nobody made money that day
because we got to the open until we got to the open house and it was me and like four and like four couples and a white real estate
agent and it was just like found him found him i was like do you live near here he's like oh no
are you kidding me sir no you couldn't you wouldn't catch me dead after we're looking
at me like what are you doing here don't you know it was a nice house like it was just like like i don't know two story like brick
house 30 3 000 square feet or some shit um but i was just like i was so far away from like
everything i wanted to be near it was some suburb that i didn't want to be part of so i finally
found this place but that's why i bounced around story short, I couldn't find a place to stay for two months. When I finally showed up to this house, the agent was here waiting on me, obviously.
And I'd already like bought it. I'd already signed. I'd already signed online, faxed it in or emailed
it in or whatever and paid and everything. And he's like, yeah, yeah. So here's the keys, the
garage door opener. Here's this and that. You know, you know, you know where all the rooms are.
And I was like, I've never been here before in my life. He's like, what do you mean? You're all,
you're all paid up. You know, this is your place now. I've never seen this place before. This is
the first time I've walked in. He's like, you bought it. You signed up sight unseen. I was like,
I'm so happy to have a place to stay right now i've been in airbnbs for two months
like this is gonna be so nice to like go buy toilet paper and have it to be my toilet paper
be able to put groceries in a fridge and and know that i'm not gonna have to like
track truck them to some other fucking home next week oh you were trucking your groceries
how to some extent to some extent there was one uh instance where i was in peach tree city
um where i actually stayed there for maybe a month uh and that was really sweet because that was a
super nice house and the guy like gave me some really really good rate i think i paid like
900 a month to stay in his house and it was a really nice house um like three or four bedrooms
and like i don't know he had a hell of a kitchen i shouldn't have
stayed there jesus you're talking about like everywhere like 500 a month or less being a
shithole oh so bad my first apartment obviously in columbia missouri where mizzou is way cheaper
than atlanta oh yeah my first apartment there uh i got when i was a sophomore in college
obviously dorms freshman year and And I went there and,
uh,
I,
I didn't realize how shitty it was.
Cause I had no point of reference,
like no,
no frame of reference whatsoever.
But I,
I get it.
And like,
even as like my grandparents,
like helping me move in and my,
my brothers,
they're helping me move in,
like carrying stuff.
And my grandpa was like,
Jesus,
like,
and just like blown away at how shitty it was.
If you walked from the core, I should have like complained that there was clearly like a foundation issue.
Because if you started in the corner of my bedroom and then walked across the living room and then into the kitchen,
and then you stared that line and you had someone that was your height walk to the kitchen,
you were a head taller than them standing in the living room.
I'm standing in my bedroom.
It's like there was one straight shot you could see from them standing in the living room. I'm standing in my bedroom. Cause like there was one straight shot.
You could see from my bedroom through the living room,
through a small crack in the doorframe into the kitchen.
And so like,
you could see them like those,
like those magic house illusions where you stand in one corner of the room
and then you walk to the other and it's like,
ha ha,
it looks like that person's 10 feet tall.
It looks like that person's one foot tall,
that exact thing there.
And,
uh,
it was only a few years after I moved out,
even that it got condemned. I went back there for a game and they had removed it uh it was only a few years after i moved out even that it got condemned
i went back there for a game and they had removed it because it was too dangerous that place was a
shithole uh you would hear like mice you would not even i assume it was like raccoons or something
like because i was on the top floor and you could hear like all throughout it's terrible
terrible place smelled like mold because they like mold because there was visible mold.
Smelled like mold because of the mold.
Because of that right there.
I remember it was like two months into living there.
Like, ah, why am I coughing all the time?
Do you smell mold?
I see mold.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And like, I didn't really know how serious it was.
It was like, yeah, like little dark spots in the bathroom.
Moisture up there but no
Do you guys want to wrap this a little bit early
So that we can jump into PKA
And get our guests and everything
Because we're going for 54 minutes
Definitely yeah we got to grab Ice
Get him in here because I know he's limited for time
We want to take advantage of him
His time
Not him
I'd like to take advantage of him.
He's just cute.
Yeah.
So we'll wrap here.
Yeah.
We will wrap here.
55.