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PKN 357.
What's up, boys?
Here we go.
You look like you've had a great day.
Dude, you're feeling fantastic.
Let me see.
It wasn't bad.
I'm looking for my phone.
Where did I put it?
I just woke up literally 10 minutes ago.
I feel like you're on the opposite end of that scale.
You've just been having a rough time today.
Yeah.
Kyle and I were sitting down, and Woody's obviously on vacation.
And so I was like, do we get an update?
So I was exercising, taking care of some work.
And I was like, did we get an update from Woody on if he would be here on time or what
the thing is?
We could always do without him if he's late.
And Kyle's like, let me see.
Oh yeah.
He said, I have just finished towing him 50 miles through the day.
Oh, I guess it's not going well.
Like we both.
Yeah. So today's course was in like...
It's called the Swell of Utah.
I hear swell and I think, you know, dandy.
Dude, this fucking place.
If we need to resume nuclear testing, this is where you do it.
There is nobody around.
And our course was silly.
It was like a big capital U when we could
have easily just cut the cross at the top of it via like paved roads. Instead, we're taking these
dirt roads at the very bottom of the U in no man's land. He hits a small little hiccup, happens all
the time. Like you get stuck in the sand and start swerving. And now he's off to the side of the road.
Didn't even fall. You know, he's just stuck in deep sand. So he throttles out of it and it worked, but then his bike pretty much stopped running.
Like it would start a little bit, but didn't have enough power to move.
Or sometimes he could get it to move like 10 feet before it stalled.
His bike for all intents and purposes doesn't work.
So we break out the toolkit and we just start checking shit.
You know, we replaced the CDI, whatever the fuck that thing is, some sort of ignition thing. We try to check
for spark. We can't get his spark plug off, which would tell us a lot. Is it lean? Is it seizes?
Whatever. It seems to have compression. It might be fuel delivery. I don't know what's wrong with
it, but a mechanic comes by in his car and you know, under his guidance, we try stuff for like
an hour. Did you call him or was that like happenstance?
Happenstance.
Yeah, no.
Dude, that guy was going deep in the desert.
Did you have any muffins with him?
No.
We're like, I don't know, maybe two hours deep in the desert.
And he's like, he has four more to go.
How fucking alone do you need to be?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I felt like we were alone.
Like it's 104 degrees. It's like 8 000 feet of altitude it's everything's exhausting super exhausting super
fast yeah we were yeah we were plenty hot it was like like like it's all fun and games and then it
gets kind of like real dangerous real quick like Like this is an actual fucking problem. And we tried
to fix this bike. It didn't work. I had
toe straps. I bought these $37
toe straps thinking
I'm a moron. That I am a fool
and his money who were soon parted.
And they also
work as like tie downs and I'm like, you know,
like whatever. Maybe they'll come in handy. I'll
pack them. Worst case scenario, this is some bondage
gear. There you go. And dude, a ago i shipped my bpap home for a smaller like travel size thing
because there's not much room on the bike and i almost shipped the toe straps home too just
thinking that i'm an idiot why did i buy these it's like yeah keep them whatevs and uh i had to
tow him 50 miles out of this desert and like I don't have a big strong bike or anything.
I wasn't sure Inky was going to make it, but she did.
She kept pulling.
Wait, what's your bike's name?
Inky, because she's small and she's black.
I have two bikes, Inky.
The other one is Kinky, because it likes to get dirty.
And you like to rhyme.
Yeah.
So anyway, Inky took us back to civilization he bought me lunch and um i left
him near a mechanic a hotel and a restaurant and uh it's like all right with these things and money
you're in pretty good shape i like to imagine that instead of taking taking him to any one of
them you just dropped him off in the middle of the street and you're like, all right, hotel's that way.
It's over there.
No, I even went to Craigslist
and found him two bikes to buy.
And I'm like, if you want to rejoin me,
$189 delivery.
These guys will put a bike at this hotel.
You can take the hard pack and catch me,
I don't know, in Salt Lake City or something.
Oh, wait, you're leaving this man behind now?
Yes, I'm now solo. in Salt Lake City or something. Oh, wait, you're leaving this man behind now? Yes, I'm now
solo. He doesn't have a motorcycle.
Oh, I thought you were going to make a joke.
He didn't kill there until his motorcycle got fixed,
right?
No, but
you move slow when you take the whole thing off.
This is not bad. This is
crazy. His bike broke. That's
what I would do in reverse, right?
I'm shocked by this.
It's so fucked that it's like...
I don't know.
He actually gave me an update.
I'll read it to you.
That would suck. Was his bike new too?
Before all this, right?
No, not new. It was like
2015, I think.
Okay.
He said,
The room at the Whispering Sands Hotel
are exceptionally clean
and the Wi-Fi is exceptionally fast.
The bike's condition has improved a little bit
and I can maintain 15 to 20 miles an hour.
So I'm hopeful it's just a full fuel problem.
I don't know.
And I'm going to start taking the carb apart.
I'm in contact with a local tow guy,
one of them that we passed on the road,
and he will take me to Grand Junction.
Perhaps I can get a U-Haul,
but it's $4 a mile for $150.
That's okay.
No, this guy, he's financially successful.
Anyway, there are options,
and I'm hopeful the bike can be fixed.
I think the towing operation
was the most epic part of this trip.
So he's fine. I found him two replacement bikes and uh he's like my wife is gonna kill me i'm like
asshole you can buy a new bike every week yeah you're fine uh if you're looking at a statement
he can probably hide that somewhere in the weeds on the new motorcycle i'm sure if he's that real
it's not like he does really well though so't offer to pull that dumb and dumber thing
where he just hops on your bike
and rides with you for the rest of the trip?
That's how adventures
are made, Woody.
Get that man on your back and carry him
You guys are setting this all wrong.
No, this is the standard
protocol. You take the guy to safety,
you set him up. He had a hotel, a restaurant,
and a mechanic nearby, and I found him two replacement bikes. That's right. You take the guy to safety, you set him up. He had a hotel, a restaurant, and a mechanic nearby, and I found him two replacement
bikes. That's right. You've heard the old
adage, Taylor. Always leave a man behind.
Yeah.
He was talking about staying.
You just drive away.
Woody, hang on.
I've got a hangnail.
He was talking about
staying at the Whispering Sands for the next two weeks.
He's trying to time off.
You should go somewhere better than the Whispering Sands.
I don't know.
You guys and your high standards.
Yeah, that sucks.
What percentage of the way are you through the actual trip?
This is well over halfway.
No?
Not halfway yet?
No. trip is this over this is well over halfway no not halfway yet no um so north carolina to sort of
maybe colorado's like the lower left part i'm in utah right now it spends a lot of time in idaho
in the top left and then goes back to wisconsin and then home now like a third
i think yeah we if things go smoothly like they've been going then dude this is how it's supposed to
be so uh my only thing is like i'm just imagining a scenario where like you don't wait on him to
like get repaired or get a new bike or whatever it is but then you break down like in the middle
of the next desert and it's just you now and so now you're towing the bike. The bike's strapped to your
back and you're...
There is a higher risk now. It was nice
to have a backup and to be able to get
towed out. There's no one to climb down to the bottom
of the cliff and pick you up now.
That's right. Who's going to send my belongings to my next of kin?
Yeah, you got to be
extra careful. No one's going to scavenge
them. Most of the places where your belongings
will be found along this ride.
Yeah, it's a dangerous trip alone.
There's bears.
I knew it was sort of dangerous in theory.
Like, oh yeah, what if you're out there alone?
I've never been this isolated before.
I've never been 50 miles into this high desert.
Why didn't you bring a gun, man? Because it's heavy. before. I've never been 50 miles into this high desert now.
Why didn't you bring a gun, man?
Because it's heavy.
I barely had room for toe straps.
Your baby gun. You could have brought a little gun to prevent the hillbilly
rape.
You can't
rape the willing.
Yeah, we've had a couple of...
Dude, the mountain passes, the California passes.
I wonder if I could carry a gun
in all of these states.
You don't tell people.
Utah, for sure you could.
You're bouncing around between a lot.
Colorado, I wonder.
It seemed a little blue.
I think most of them you're good as long as it's
in your luggage. Yeah, you're good as long as it's like in your luggage
yeah you're
good if no one stops you
and searches you
and you can't stop you because you have a gun
and you're on a motorcycle it goes much faster
you need a motorcycle you literally need
Judge Dredd to stop you at this point
it's funny Kyle took this like you left him
dude I rescued him that's how this went down
I rescued him
you did you got him to the next town.
I feel like if we took a vote right now,
it just seems like you guys took off on this trip
from North Carolina and
his bike broke down.
Oh, so you're going to wait around for him? Fuck that.
No, you're wrong though.
I've seen
a dozen YouTube videos where
shit like this happens. People start
together and don't finish together more
often than not. What do you think the chances are
that he's actually going to get a new bike and continue
on? Pretty good.
He'll either fix his bike or get a new one,
I think.
A good day
off-road is
180-200 miles
and a good day
on-road, 200 miles. And a good day on road is like 700 miles.
So it wouldn't be too hard to catch up.
You getting sore yet?
Do you get sore sitting on the bike that long?
At the end of the day, I can be pretty tuckered out,
but I wake up every morning just fine.
That's good.
I'm glad you're having fun.
And it was only 50 miles of redlining your bike
into some no-name western town from the Oregon Trail.
It was a pretty epic experience.
It was funny.
At the end of it, I had talked about this.
Maybe you weren't here, Taylor.
This is type one, two, and three fun.
I keep bringing this up.
Type one fun, super fun right now.
It's a roller coaster.
Whee!
This is good.
But maybe not like
deep and impactful or maybe it is type two fun is the kind of fun that when you recollect a time
when you recount the tale of the flat tire in the rain like that was a good time that was cool
type three fun is not fucking fun it's it's never good there's been some type two fun on this trip
and i was talking to chris
about it he's like that was type one fun that was the greatest and i'm like uh maybe 1.5 like
i never knew there were types of fun now you know now i know yeah that's definitely true there's a
bunch of things that are just horrid in the in the moment actually did was there i'm sure you
look back though they're kind of like your best moments do i have enough water is that what you asked yeah like how much i brought three liters today
and i kicked the two there's a little bit left in the one so i'm i'm pretty thirsty right now
that would be nerve-wracking yeah hot and being and there has to be something in the back of your
head like like a little rationing like okay well okay, well, if something does go bad, I want that extra liter just in case.
I'm pretty thirsty now.
Apparently that's not what you do.
Like, I don't know.
I was listening to this expert, and he's like, you know, when I was new at this, he rescues people.
He's like, I used to save water, and I'd finish my mission dehydrated with water in my bag.
He's like, now I just drink the water I need.
I stay hydrated.
And if it does go longer or wrong
that water is in me it's not like i wasted that water and i was like all right yeah don't dehydrate
yourself rationing the water and also chris had a lot he had like six liters so that's good because
i remember like because i've driven across wyoming and i'm sure it's similar to that where there was
one point where it just said like last gas station 208 miles and it's like that can't be true that's it there's nothing it's like i was with my younger
brother at the time driving across all of wyoming and i was like have we seen a car he's like no
it's been hours and not behind us not in front of us not a cop no one coming the other way it's just
barren my trip here so uh
gas tanks on motorcycles sometimes have reserve tanks and what it is is you can picture the
dipstick like it sucks from three quarters of the way down and then you flip a switch and sucks from
the full bottom that's a warning because we don't have gas gauges uh mine's efi so it doesn't have
that it just has like an idiot light that comes on when you're out of fuel.
And I can't see it very well because I have my phone and my GPS in front of my gauges right now.
And coming to this town, my reserve light goes on with about 40 miles to spare.
And I'm coming into town and I'm just sort of checking on everything. And I'm like, well, I'm 16 miles into my reserve tank.
Yeah.
So you're telling me I have 24 miles and then I just stop moving forward?
Yeah.
You're telling me I could die if there wasn't this bullshit town?
Yeah, but it was semi-planned too.
I knew how far the town was and how many miles I had in my tank,
but I did cut it closer than I thought because I was going so fast.
Like I was trying to get here on time, going 80 miles an hour uphill in the desert.
It's freaking.
You loved every minute of this shit.
I did.
But, but I knew that I was like, call him that carrying that man.
Like you sent me those pictures of you.
Like, this is not a good place for us to run out of for uh for i won't use
his name for this gentleman to break his bike and i'm thinking like yeah it is you know it is you're
just you're like a problem has arisen has it the picture you the selfie you sent i'm like that's
that is the hottest man in america right now
what he was just talking last week about like i don't do well with heat and he's just like so i'm in the high
desert but it's a dry heat but it dehydrates the fuck out of you yeah it literally does like you're
like fucking jerky out there and no you loved every minute of that shit i i feel like the camaraderie though like for me okay i get that
like but if like the the mode of operation for this like journey is to like leave a man behind
but like i feel like i would miss like the camaraderie and like the sharing meals together
and the like i don't know whatever i'm sure you guys have like some hand signals you do
when you're on bikes you're're giving them like, yeah.
Some of those are just like, all right.
There's some.
And like those are gone now.
So we're together at the restaurants and, you know, we get the hotels and we do laundry and stuff.
But as soon as you put your helmet on, you're alone.
Like it is really solitary as soon as the helmet goes on.
If I were doing this with you,
I would want us to have like a comm system so we could like chat.
Yeah. We have a comm system where we could chat. Yeah, we have a comm system where we could chat
and we've opted not to.
It's like, you know what?
We're spending a lot of time together.
Oh, okay.
I think I'm starting
to get a vibe for
some things. Okay, alright.
They're having gay sex in the desert.
We couldn't avoid it until the
weeping willow town, whatever the fuck it is.
So dry in the ass.
I think I understand things better now.
Okay. Well, it is a little more
dangerous now, which I think you'll also enjoy
more. I'm sure Jackie is
like, wait, so you're alone now?
Yeah, I haven't told her yet.
I haven't showered. I haven't showered i haven't changed i just
came in i set up the computer and did the show well we appreciate it um we were we were i thought
we were just going to do without you at one point because i was like how do they i'm sure there's a
little bit of thought process of like all right what's what's your next step now that you're
broken down because i didn't know what the deal was going to be like is it a situation where i leave you and go get help is the situation where you hop on the back of my bike and i drive you to
town i honestly didn't even consider towing his bike i didn't know that was going to be an option
because i guess i didn't know you had toe straps we thought of all those choices like like i would
have to drop my luggage back with his bike and you know to carry another person. I could have just dumb and dumber
style put him on the back and taken him to civilization,
but it just seemed like it solved a lot of problems to tow all the gear out.
It's a lot to ask of my bike, but you did it.
You did it the easiest way. You got everything, all of your stuff to the right place without having
to double back. And it worked. But
I'm sure you've never done anything like that before. What if your bike had stopped working five
miles into that? Because I'm sure your bike was hot from doing what it had already
been doing. To let the clutch out? You know
how you let a clutch out. You can drive a stick shift. The clutch is slipping
for like three quarters of a second maybe no way oh no right like like you know what i'm saying as you
let the clutch you let like that process of engaging the clutch okay okay less than a second
like you're it's like it's not oh no no it's not working it i am halfway on the clutch for like 15
seconds as i'm trying to get the two motorcycles up to speed.
And I'm like, this is maybe the longest I've ever rubbed a clutch.
But we did that a couple of times.
But everything worked.
Everything worked.
Yeah, motorcycles aren't known for their towing capacity.
No.
Not really.
Like you said, there was a part of me.
Like Chris has clearly defined the adversity to be cooler than the cool parts.
You know, you went there thinking that like Cinnamon Pass, California Pass, this like these giant Rocky Mountain passes where you go up to 13, 14,000 feet across the Rocky Mountains.
Like those are supposed to be the most epic parts of the trip.
But Chris liked breaking down in the high desert.
I prefer, you parts of the trip. Chris liked breaking down in the high desert. I prefer the driving.
Yeah.
To me, I think those
I don't even know what it's called, but
in Forrest Gump, that really
flat desert road that you
see in a lot of movies
in the Southwest, wherever the fuck it is.
That was the trip
here.
Dude. That was the trip here. Here.
Dude.
But even that, I mean, that's pavement.
I know.
But I wonder.
You're out in the sand, dudes, like in the good, the bad, and the ugly when they torture each other in the desert.
That, like I was thinking of Forrest Gump today because I'm driving
and it's just like pastel- colored cliffs on either side of me.
The sky is huge. I can't get
past that. Having lived in North Carolina for so
long, there are trees
everywhere.
The buildings are taller.
Everything's two, three stories around here.
A one-story building is an oddity.
Out here, there's
nothing.
The sky is huge. Where my knees's just like the sky is huge.
It's just like where my knees are seems like the highest thing around,
and the whole sky is gigantic and these pastel cliffs and the distance.
It is outrageous.
Go ahead, Kyle.
What were you going to ask?
I didn't want to interrupt you.
I was just trying to kind of keep my question loaded because I forget things so easily.
You've given us your route many times,
but you're not going through Arizona, are you?
I don't think so.
I think that's south of me now, right?
Yeah, it's southwest.
Yeah.
Oh, actually, no.
I went through a little New Mexico.
I was just going to say
the most beautiful place I've ever been to
is called Sedona, Arizona.
I think it's kind of a tourist trap, probably.
Okay.
It's probably, but it's that because of the views.
They have one of those little touristy trap towns.
They have a cowboy and an Indian who walk the streets in full dress costume.
And they've got tons of gift shops
but like fancy gift shops like it's not somewhere where you go by like like an eight dollar sharks
and shit yeah they've got like thousand dollar knickknacks because i think like a lot of uh more
affluent people like vacation there like they had like one of those blown glass shops and i'm like
ah i'm gonna get some blown glass for my mom and like the cheapest thing they have is like twenty
seven hundred dollars and i'm just like i'm not gonna get some blown glass for my mom. The cheapest thing they have is $2,700. I'm just like,
I'm not going to get some blown glass
for my mom.
Pretty place though.
Nobody touches it.
Look at one of those places where you bump one thing
and you end up working for them.
Do you guys know what Slickrock is?
In Moab, Utah?
No.
It's rock and it's all these like humps and valleys and stuff and it's steep and it's this like mountain biker four by four paradise where like for me this is like a
really famous place and moab is like the disney world for off-roading and i found myself in moab
and i'm like dude we gotta like check out the
slick rock like we gotta go see these things and yeah i am sure you've seen like you know
interesting feats of four by fours going up parts of moab like you would recognize it
anyway oh this looks dangerous so i'm like dude i'm i'm here i should do a ticket two dollars to
get in this place and I'm like, Chris,
why wouldn't you do that? We came all
this way. I get us both tickets.
Chris goes
Moab.
Can you look up Slickrock and see if
it shows any of these 4x4?
If you do Moab, Slickrock,
it pulls up these trails on their site.
Some of them are astoundingly
steep. It's it's
just a guy on a big rock there's no yeah there's no tape there's nothing to tell you where to go
i buy my two dollar ticket and the guy who like works for the state or whatever is like
that bike is too big for these trails and i'm like well on top of that i'm not very good at this
and he sells me a ticket and uh i thought i would ride my motorcycle where
the four by fours were going like you know follow the jeep trails but i've never been here i don't
know what i'm doing and it turns out i'm on the mountain bike trails which are just ridiculous
they're like i like i'm going down and there's these exhausted mountain bikers looking like they're about to die pushing their bikes up because they can't pedal.
And like there's these ledges that are like two feet down, drops and shit.
And I'm like, well, I didn't come all this way not to do it.
And and I started hitting it.
And I anyway, I did it for miles.
And then I turned around.
There was a spot where my bike just literally like if I took the steering wheel all the way to the lock or the handlebars, it wouldn't turn that sharp.
And I'm like, I can't do this.
And the consequences of falling there were really high.
It was like dire, like 75 foot ledges down and stuff.
And I'm like, yeah, I can't.
I literally can't.
So I turned around and I did it all in reverse.
And it was pretty badass. It was really cool. I literally can't. So I turned around and I did it all in reverse. And it was pretty badass.
It was really cool.
I have some video.
Are you listening to music as you're doing all this?
Or are you listening to Stormlight Archive?
Yeah, so I'm probably about halfway done the third book.
Nice.
Where are you?
I am just barely into the fourth book.
I was hoping I'd catch you.
When you guys are done with this, I've got a completely different book I want us all
to read because I'm too far behind now
yes you are
I'm too far behind
130 hours behind
it would be like if I tried to join your motorcycle journey now
that's how far behind I am
if you add up all four books I think it's 5,000
pages
because I've been
I found this thing on youtube where like they were
talking about like the scariest one of the scariest villains in sci-fi and uh and so i started looking
into it a little bit more and it's this book series i'm i'm going through my history on like
youtube watched to find uh the name of it'll just take me a couple minutes who wrote it
no i i just i watched a couple of videos like about it and uh and and i was really
interested it's it's like hyperion um here is h y t e r i o n um have i read hyperion cantos is
it a series yes it's a series hyperion simmons novel by dan sim Okay, let's see what we got here.
I'll read this.
There's only like 500 pages.
Oh, there's a bunch of books. One, two, six-part book series.
Or no, wait, this is all one book, right?
I think there are multiple books.
Okay, this is not the one I'm thinking of.
I watched like 20 minutes of YouTube about it,
and I stopped before I got to any like serious spoilers.
They were mostly just talking about the villain in the show.
I guess the broad strokes that I took from like the quick YouTube video I watched was this is in the future, maybe four or 500 years from now.
And some sort of science experiment ruined Earth, like ruined it and so like it's uninhabitable now but we have made it to a bunch of other star systems and we've connected
these planets that we've colonized with some sort of a like fast track type travel system it's not
as if we can just like take off into like space and like get anywhere at any speed that that's
reasonable but if we're on like the
fast pass system that we've got connecting our planets we can jump from one or the other very
quickly and we can also communicate to them very quickly but then there are these like outback
planets that are not on the the highway system and they are really difficult to get to and uh
hyperion i believe is one of those planets that's cool and there's um a couple
of the things that were on hyperion um it seemed like there were like some artifacts from an alien
race that like they don't understand um at least at the beginning of the book series they don't
understand like like something that predates humanity by like a very long time and and but
the aliens aren't there anymore but there's some sort of a villainous
creature called the shrike that lives on this um planet and he is a four-armed humanoid like
thing does he impale you to death he does like he impales you on a tree of woe where you suffer for
all of eternity oh no that's worse than regular impaling.
It's much worse because you never die.
How is he not running out of trees?
He has an enormous metal tree thing,
which is apparently some sort of a simulation of a tree
that your mind is plugged into.
So it appears to the outside viewer that you are impaled on a tree,
but in reality you are in some sort of a mind, like a matrix style system.
He does this to just cause he gets, he's like a demon or he's like, you don't know.
That's what the guy on the YouTube video said.
And like, but we don't know why he does it.
He just does it.
He just loves nothing we can do about it.
And it's like, like, like apparently he's just invincible and he's just covered in metal.
He looks like he's just made of like mercury covered in spines.
And,
um,
he's just a real scary figure who tortures his victims to death for unknown
reasons.
And we'll have to,
I just bought the paperbacks.
They made it sound like there weren't like a hundred people on this tree.
There weren't a thousand people on this tree.
There were like a hundred million people stuck to the tree or something like
that.
It reminded me of that,
that scene from Rick and Morty where he,
the,
the evil,
um,
the Morty's on the outside of the dome.
Yeah.
I'm wondering if that's like,
I wonder if it's a reference to this book series now, because it sounds like he's got like a huge amount of people suffering continuously.
And I'm like, why would he do that?
And like, maybe it maybe that's what that was referencing.
What does he have to gain from this?
And I don't know.
I'm curious, like maybe maybe we watch or read that together.
I'll read that for sure.
This wrapped up. But I mean, you would love this series stormlight archive you would really really
enjoy it like it's it's right up your fucking alley like he does such a good job like i was
reading like his website which i've said before this guy is like it's like he's going out of his
way to like dueling birds george rr martin like, if he doesn't give an update on his book,
he like didn't give one for like eight days.
And he's like,
I'm so sorry.
He's Mormon.
He's like,
I'm so sorry,
guys.
I'm a,
I'm on vacation in Zurich or whatever,
but I did bang out a few chapters while I was here.
And I plan to get back on board and you know,
we'll get like,
he's,
he just tears through it like a 1200 page book every two and a half three years which
is you know a lot of work but i'm loving this series this is my favorite fantasy series i've
read in fucking forever the the the amount of depth where there's there's like five ideals
and ten gods and there's a hundred layers to everything and every time but it also moves
right unlike tolkien who we all know is not a very good author um like he doesn't just
spend six pages explaining how dark it is or how stony the road is or whatever like sometimes they
just go into super detail that doesn't progress the story along this guy progresses the story
like it's pretty good having said that i am a little concerned some of these main characters are getting too powerful
right you've got kaladin who's literally a fucking jedi who can fly now right he's got a sword that
slices through anything he can take people with the force push and stick them to walls and stuff
and he can fly over the storms and travel to places yeah And it's like, you're kind of powerful when everyone else is a spearman.
And then you've got the king.
What's his name with a G?
Oh, Gavilar?
Gavilar, yeah.
Gavilar is like showing off to people by intentionally, like, he's like, Kyle, I'll duel you, but
you get a sword and I don't for the first three minutes and
then we'll switch and then he goes three minutes and well it goes like two minutes and 50 seconds
and then i allow you to stab me obviously and then i thrust myself onto your sword and i pull it in
deeper and stab myself through the chest and say that's thrust. Just to fucking show off how well I heal.
Jesus. That's Dalinar, yeah.
Can you just cut this guy's head off?
Doesn't that work? You know, that would be the better
way to do it. Just cut someone's head
off. But you're right about the escalation
of powers. And I don't know
where you're at. I think in the middle of book three,
the only thing that keeps it even is that
they got like a times
10 boost, the good guys
to their powers meanwhile the bad guys got like a times 30 boost and so they've people they got
people who can fly better than kaladin and they can they summoned their own storm the ever storm
that comes the other way and they pull power from it and they've got all their own spren
fucking technology and everything i'm just i'm so enthralled in it i'm like dreaming
about it i've been reading it so much i'm like dreaming about it it's it's great you would you
would really enjoy this story that the characters are so well fleshed out there's a couple characters
that i'm pretty bored by but even then like like who uh i was bored by eshonai uh i was i'm bored
by venley the the parshman, the Parshendi
part of the book is like...
I got so worried in book three.
I'm like, oh no, he's going to spend a lot of time on these
folks, and I just don't really care that much.
I want to get back to Dalinar and Kaladin and Shallan
and Jasnah and all them, and thankfully
they keep that short. But I don't know if you can
get it in the audiobooks,
but you can tell when
Brandon Sanderson is getting real when in the last hundred pages of every chapter can tell when he like brandon sanderson is getting
real when in like the last hundred pages of every chapter usually it's game of thrones style where
it's like adeline and it's all from his perspective but like in the last couple chapters of the book
it's like during the battle scenes he's jumping back and forth different perspectives like when
the paragraphs get to be like five lines a piece it's like oh oh so much is happening right now
it's it's great i recommend it to everyone
another book series we could go to that's also like crazy long and epic is dune frank herbert's
dune uh and they are making like a massive like 250 million dollar movie about it you read that
one uh i don't know i have watched the movie the the books are extensive are they supposed to be
better than the movie um well all
right so the movie is known as one of the biggest like flops of all time because i've seen it it
sucks yeah it had an incredibly it just it took years and went through like crazy production
process um they're making a new one though like like um not a sequel either they're and this time
they're going to make it uh like multiple parts
um because there's so much going on like just just doing the first book in one movie is nonsense
it's like with like with lord of the rings um it was so it was super nonsensical right to make
three hobbit movies it made no sense right right the opposite is true for for dune and trying to
make like what you're going to do the first dune
book in one movie the whole book no come on how are you going to establish like 50 000 years of
human history right at the beginning oh we'll just have voiceover we'll just have a lady literally
appear on camera and go in the early days and just and that's what they do they literally have
i can't remember the actress's name she She's very beautiful, and you recognize her.
But she just appears on screen, like her head floating in darkness
with some crown on.
And she gives you 20,000 years of human history
in three minutes of just, she's like, all right,
let me lay this out for you.
And it's just like, that's not in the movie.
There's no time between plans and execution in that movie where they'll
be like we have to get together in order to capture the the priest there and then like next
scene it's like we've captured the priest yep what do we do next we must deliver them to the oracle
and then it's like star wipe oracle and they're
there is an extended version
where the gaps
are filled in a little bit, and that's the version
I prefer, but I do like
what's going on
in that universe.
Every universe that does this sort of
sci-fi space travel thing has a hard
time with how the
space travel works. I'm always interested in that.
Star Trek does a completely different thing than Star wars and um um oh yeah and in star trek they're
they're warping space in star wars they're going fast no their their ship is um actually going to
some sort of a like subspace realm where if your star drive like cuts out in the middle of it
and like malfunctions, you just end up there forever.
Float like in this other realm.
Yeah, in like another dimension.
They never really cover it in the movies,
but that's how it's working.
And then like in Dune, they've got like these hyper
evolved humans that do not look human anymore.
They look more like sea cows.
They look like sea cows floating in big tanks of liquid.
They just look completely disgusting.
And they've been hyper-evolved by using the spice melange, which is like the MacGuffin of the whole movie.
by using the spice melange which is like the macguffin of the whole movie is that on one planet called arrakis in the entire known universe there is this stuff called the spice and the spice
is like i don't know it's a it's a it does everything like like not only does it make
if you not only is a fun drug to use like like oh i feel great but also like it over time it turns you more and more
into a superhuman um like you start getting powers um like all sorts of like low level
powers at first then your eyes start glowing blue in a really cool kind of way um but it also like
where at the at the end out of left field they just like leave and go to some jungle overgrown
and find an old guy in there with a bunch of cats, right?
No, that is not the movie. Which one is that?
I don't know what movie you're talking about.
With the jungle cats.
That sounds like Congo
or something. Is that the movie where in the end
he sits on a park bench and it turns out
that the kid's not
retarded?
It turns out he's been sitting
two blocks away from his destination
for the entire movie.
And it really hammers home
this guy actually is retarded, huh?
So my Colorado trip is quickly
approaching, like 100 days now.
So we're getting everything arranged.
Very nice.
And we're planning everything out. We picked a house
out and we're getting the boys
all organized. We're seeing if all of our Canadian
friends are going to be able to immigrate down here
for the trip and all that.
I'm already booking fun
things to do. There's a place that rents motorcycles
in Denver and I'm
looking at their motorcycle rentals to
go through the canyons of
the mountains up there.
I'm looking at this triumph tiger 800.
That's one of the bikes Chris might buy.
It's a great bike.
Um,
I like that bike a lot.
It looks like,
I don't know.
It looks exactly like,
uh,
it would fit in with your,
with you,
with you guys bikes.
Like even the one I'm looking at here is like,
it would,
it's a,
it's the,
it's an adventure bike.
The same class as mine,
a little bigger and stronger,
which isn't always perfect.
If you're off-road, a light bike is handy.
But if you're on-road, a bigger bike is nice.
It's great. It's a great bike.
For sure. Yeah. And it's like $100 a day or something like that.
And maybe two or three days of just touring the mountains up there.
I thought that might be fun.
How do they work helmets i have no idea no that's something i would look into and i have to get
my license um obviously so i need a helmet for that anyway so maybe i just i don't know i don't
know there's so many moving things i don't know what to do it's like oh i'll just buy a cheap
helmet it's like why are you gonna buy a cheap helmet if you're eventually going to want a good helmet?
I don't know.
Do you want to start off with like a really nice helmet and nothing else?
Yeah, probably.
I don't know.
How much?
You probably don't even have a helmet budget, right?
Like I want to say like how much do you want to spend?
And you're like, how much should I spend?
How much does a helmet cost?
That's how I would start.
Somewhere between $100 and $1,000.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's what helmets cost.
That is what helmets cost.
$1,000 would be kind of extreme and something that certain race organizations might require.
Yeah.
And $100 would be almost as safe.
It probably wouldn't fit as well.
You know, like the higher end helmets have foam that you can remove that fits you real nice. Um, I would, you know, I'd point you in the middle,
like, yeah, I get a $400 Scorpion or something like that. And, uh, that's what I might get next
as an air bladder that makes it sort of squeeze like the, you know, old Reeboks or Nike's did
back in the day. And, um, yeah, I'm definitely going to lean on you whenever I do some motorcycle
gear shopping and stuff. Cause I feel like it's one of those things that like, we all have this in the day. I'm definitely going to lean on you whenever I do some motorcycle gear
shopping and stuff because I feel like it's one of those things that
we all have this in common, but
when we get into something, we get obsessive and we
go down that rabbit hole of research.
I feel like you've already done all the research
for me. If I wanted to know which
gloves, pants, shoes, etc., you'd be like,
no, don't get those.
These have a lifetime warranty
and they're $30 more. On a lot of this stuff, I could point you in the right direction. You tell me the mission, I'll don't get those. Don't get those. Yeah. These have a lifetime warranty and they're $30 more.
Yeah.
On a lot of this stuff, I could point you in the right direction.
You tell me the mission.
I'll tell you the gear.
Yeah.
I'm definitely going to wait till you get back from your fucking adventure, though.
If you do.
If you do.
If I do.
Yeah, that's a strong point.
Now we're solo.
For now.
I found him two motorcycles. In my head, he's concerned about what his wife is going to think about buying a backup motorcycle midway through.
But it's like, bro, you're fine.
Like worst case scenario, you sell it when you get back, right?
Sure.
And I mean, I can't imagine you take a big hit.
I wouldn't think so.
Yeah. I mean, it's take a big hit. I wouldn't think so.
It's what I'd do too.
I'd just buy another motorcycle.
It does make sense.
I would already have the motorcycle if I were him.
I'd be like, yeah, it's this one.
Do I need to get plates for it or can I run this temporary tag the rest of the trip?
I'd just swap my old plate over, right?
Not that we'd ever do that, but that might be plan A.
That is plan A.
That'd be my plan A. We just put the other tag on there and fame it.
If you feign ignorance as a white man
with most crimes,
you get right through.
Now, look. What? I can't do that?
I tried to feign ignorance for the longest
time with my thing, and it almost
worked.
I thought I paid those taxes. I tried to find an address for the longest time with my thing, and it almost worked.
I thought I paid those taxes.
Now, I know I needed plates, but you're telling me I need different plates?
Why do they even do it like that?
Officer, you don't understand.
I have a plate.
Look.
That is literally a dinner plate.
Remember that guy who was trying to stick his finger up at the helmet law and he had
met all the technical requirements
for a motorcycle helmet. He's like,
it has a strap that goes down.
Yeah, you're right.
There are two straps.
Yeah, there are. And
it is on top of my head.
And it is made of a hard material
class three. And they're like, all right, checks out. It is on top of my head and it is made of a hard material class three.
And they're like,
all right,
checks out.
It is literally a round piece of plastic that he drilled holes in and put a chin strap on and put shoe strings through and tied under his chin.
And,
and they're just like,
technically it meets all the requirements.
Like,
like,
yeah.
I mean,
just if that guy wants to crack his head open,
go for it. He's literally one of those
people who wants to be... Like, those people who are like,
I am an admiral of the
road. I'm a struggling citizen
and this is my vessel.
I follow maritime law.
As a captain of a vessel,
I outrank you, Lieutenant.
And I order you to go back
to the precinct.
You're going to have to call the Admiral of the
Highway Patrol if you want to stop me again.
I will yield to no other
captain. I'm actually writing you a
ticket for not saluting a superior.
Show him
your fucking credentials, Dave Buster's
power card. You pull out your own ticket
book in front of a cop, that's a real power move yeah if you were like an osha guy who was like actually you
pulled me over incorrectly you're getting the ticket that would probably be that's probably
happened at some point like an osha person got pulled over by a cop who didn't do it right
and they were like youtube channel called audit the auditor and And are you familiar with what an auditor is? Yeah, yeah.
You are.
This is like a police auditor, not a tax auditor.
No, no.
I just look through cases.
Okay.
So when I hear auditor, I think an accountant who looks through people's books
and makes sure that the numbers are right.
There is a kind of auditor.
These are like amateur YouTubers who go out of their way to kind of annoy police and film
them and make sure that the police respond appropriately. That's funny. Yeah. Well,
this channel audit, the auditor is pretty cool. The guy's an actual attorney and he goes and
reviews how these auditors do and you know what they're getting right, what they're getting wrong
when they, when they appropriately exercise their right to remain silent
and when shit like, no,
I'm not giving you my driver's license actually
is against the law. You have to give it
over, for example, if you're pulled over.
But if you're walking around and they ask
for ID, you can basically be like,
no, no, no. I don't answer
questions. I don't want to give you my name. They're like,
why are you filming me? Someone called
us and said there's a random dude filming this federal building. And it's like,
I'm doing this to get you to come, but I'm not going to say that.
It's so funny you said that because like that show that I keep recommending Mr. Inbetween,
he is an expert of like his, his, his, um, of his rights, of his rights. Like the police come to
his house and they're like, eh, we heard that she went to a lady's house this afternoon and threatened her and he's like i
don't answer questions all right i'm not sure how i respond to that um she said you were you
were menacing i don't answer questions is this your house i don't answer questions
he's just like looking through the screen door and all he'll say is,
I don't answer questions.
And they're just like,
fuck.
You can do that in a lot of situations.
They don't even know if you're talking to the right guy.
Yeah.
If you're driving,
you can't,
for example.
Yeah.
Anyway,
audit the auditor.
Sometimes police pull over police and he usually covers those interactions too,
because they're filmed and it's pretty neat.
I love it when police, police, police police police yeah that's actually radically correct have you seen the video
where the guy um like the cop has been like been on break or something and he's showing back up at
his own station house and the guy is just like the guy catches him as he's getting out of his
fucking cruiser and going into the station and he's like, how you doing today, sir? Where you coming from?
And he's like, what?
I know this one.
Where you coming from?
Why are you asking me that?
Doesn't really matter, sir. Where you coming from this afternoon?
You been drinking? And he's just like,
the cop is like, he has been drinking.
That's the fun part.
He's had a couple beers.
He's just like, why are you questioning me?
I'd like to know where you've been this afternoon, where you're headed,
and if you've been drinking, sir.
And just all in his face asking him these questions,
and the guy's clearly getting flustered because he has had a beer or two for lunch.
He's probably not DUI level, but he shouldn't be drinking at all because he's on the job.
Yeah, that seems like a needless risk as a cop
to have a couple beers at lunch. People are
going to notice you're sitting there like a cop.
Or I guess, yeah, cops can kind of do whatever they
want all the time.
I know that interaction, and it's pretty cool
because he's like, where have you been?
And the guy's like, why are you asking
me this? And the way he asks
him if he's drinking is
as if the other replies made him know
that he's drinking you know where are you coming from what why would you ask that what have you
been drinking like like you know the way that it led into it it's great i like the interaction
taylor did you buy that 500 page softback book just now yes yeah the way you commit to books amazes me if i buy it i'm gonna read it and so
like yeah i swear you could just be like like hey here's a 15 hour task if you're interested
well i am yes i will do that right now i'm signing up like kyle was saying like we all have this like
fixation on things where we get so obsessed so like i haven't watched a tv show in
earnest in well over a month like every time it's late at night and i like want to decompress or
something it's just fucking book like read that your level of reading is next level i see you
read and the progress you make and i'm like is that what it takes to spell that well because i'm not sure it's worth it i like audible like audible so nice like like like going on my own i like whenever they advertise
with us because it's like yeah they really are the best fucking service like i've got so much
shit on my audible that i need to get back to i still haven't gotten back to the um
the uh the series with the fucking hell divers like. I'm still in book three.
Five or six hours into book three
or something like that.
So fucking cool. And I own the rest of them.
I need to get back to that.
Audible right now, it's nothing but
Stephen King, Helldivers,
poker, and 40K.
Just look up Stormlight Archive. I bet you got
a free ticket or coin or whatever.
Yeah, get them. I think Stormlight Archive. I bet you got a free ticket or coin or whatever. I've got so many. Yeah, get them.
I think Stormlight Archive is kind of expensive.
So you'd want to – the way we do it is if a book is under like $15, we might just buy it.
And if it's one of those like $45 books, we tend to use the tokens.
Yeah, I use it.
I do the same.
It's definitely a smart way.
Yeah, same here.
So this book is $32 or one credit.
Yeah, yeah. Take the credit. Don't use your credit on a $ way. Yeah, same here. So this book is $32 or one credit. Yeah, yeah.
Take the credit.
Don't use your credit on a $9.95 book.
And they're trying to tell me that it's only $32 because of Prime Day,
and it's normally $64.
Jesus.
I don't think that's the way of the kings.
The way of kings?
Yeah, that's the first book.
Yikes.
Very good.
You'll like it.
I mean, business with this content.
How am I going to have to pirate a book
did you see how long it was i didn't it's like 47 hours holy shit yeah i know yeah
if i'm like one of those guys who if you're one of those guys who does the the voice work for like
books right you know they come along they're like yeah it's a it's a 12-hour book awesome awesome i'll knock that out this weekend yeah it's a 22-hour book all right all right
three-day weekend it is sir it's actually 60 hours long and and they want you to commit to eight books
i was wanting to go on vacation this summer it's it's it's actually slated to be a 10 book series
is it really it's gonna be 10 books. Is that for real?
Yeah, I think it is.
I saw something on the Reddit for Stormlight Archive where it was like the list of like,
well, obviously there's no titles for those because they're all about two and a half,
three years apart.
But yeah, you'll really enjoy it.
It's a ton of fun to sit and listen to just like it is to read, I'm sure.
You want to watch this quick little like one minute thing from Mr. Inbetween?
Sure.
Zach, will you play that video that I linked in there for us please mr in between kind of strike kind of guy lock it both it is possible zach stepped away
uh maybe he did oh there he is
i don't answer questions we don't have audio oh i don't have the audio on it
is that the main character yeah he looks funny
he's a bit of a thumb vibe i'm uh i'm current with the show now. I'm watching week to week.
This is the best internet I've had in a week.
I might watch Mr. Inbetween tonight.
I feel like I am time-sharing multiplexing
an internet connection.
I get a shitty connection for five seconds,
then I lose it for the next 20,
and then it comes back.
It is hard to watch anything.
All right, let's see what we got here.
All right, let's see what we got here uh answer questions okay is there somebody afternoon sir are you ray shoesmith
i don't answer questions can i help you
does he live here
Does he live here?
I don't answer questions.
Okay, is there somebody here who can answer questions?
I don't answer questions.
I don't really know how to respond to that, sir.
To a woman by the name of Petra Jenkins,
she says you threatened her and tried to menace her.
Did she? Yeah. You got anything you want to say about that?
I don't answer questions.
Would you mind telling us why? I don't answer questions.
Okay.
See ya.
See ya. so yeah so yeah see I
the way you were describing it I didn't think
I thought it was going to be more like I don't answer questions
but like he's saying it in a menacing
way
he's a very menacing man
you can see in that thumbnail for a brief second where he's just looking
demonic
the great part is the switch he makes between like,
like even that instance right there is about him being a good dad because his
daughter's being picked on by this other little girl.
And he's like talking to her about the difference between standing up for
yourself and being a doormat.
And he's like,
I'm going to take care of this one for you.
But in the future,
can't be a doormat.
And you can't worry about what people think about you. Because
you can't change how people think about you.
So why would you let it affect you?
There's nothing you can do about it.
So he just goes and
goes to the other little girl's
mother and is like, hey, your daughter's
picking on my daughter. And she's like, my daughter
wouldn't do that. He's like,
well, my daughter wouldn't lie. She's like, well, my
daughter wouldn't either.
Alright. Alright. Well, well, my daughter wouldn't lie. She's like, well, mine wouldn't either. All right. All right. Well, that's why I have to handle this some other way.
You get that big bitch to beat her up, right?
Yeah. He literally goes and gets a big bitch.
Yeah.
It's awesome.
Well, I mean, that's a smart move in this show. Seems very illegal to conscript a child
into assaulting another.
It seems very illegal to conscript a child into assaulting another.
But anywho, yeah, I'm excited to read some more of my book tonight.
I still got the Hyperion page up.
I've been poking around here trying to learn more.
This looks really neat.
It would be fun to read all or read as you guys listen.
We can all talk about it.
This is what we're going to be.
We really are going to be a lesbian book club.
Awesome.
I love that we're trending in that direction.
I'd rather be a lesbian book club than eat roast kill.
He's fucking prophetic.
Shit.
We need to own that
to get a badge.
I want a lesbian book club background.
This is fucking awesome.
I like books more than movies at this point,
I think.
I think...
I always say this. I beat this drum.
Movies and TV have gotten so
much better. You were talking about Dune and how it
sucked 20 years ago. I don't know.
There's a chance the next Dune
does it justice. looks because nowadays people are
willing to invest a quarter billion dollars into making a great movie they do it all the time in
the marvel universe but not just marvel they give it a shot here and there if you tell someone we're
establishing a new universe and there's sequel potential and this could be a thing they'll invest
in it you know what actually looks good as far as movies coming out?
And I'm hesitant to even say this because I think I'm going to be wrong.
The new Suicide Squad.
So, like, the last one was awful.
I hated it because it had Will Smith.
Will Smith just can't lead a movie anymore.
I liked Will Smith, but anyway.
The new one's done by James Gunn,
the guy who does Guardians of the Galaxy.
And I think he does good work. I've liked everything he's done for a long time.
And, uh, it looks like they went really zany with it. Um, and they included some of the
suicide squad characters that you eat. It's like, wait, so there's a, and there's a, there's a man
shark. So he's like a, he's like a, he's like a man with a shark's head. Oh no, he's a man with a full shark's body.
That's not useful.
It actually, it's super, we can watch it.
You want to watch the trailer?
Because I was just about to describe the trailer.
Yeah, I actually just opened it up.
I thought I saw the shark guy.
This is the kind of stuff you can't put in a YouTube video anymore.
Fair enough.
Looks like he has the head of a shark and the body of a
he has like but his whole shark is his whole body is shark like um and there's a bunch of like goofy
fucking characters in it and um i'm trying to think the funny part oh they're all like the
whole sui squad um squad is on like a cargo plane i guess they're going to be like dropped in
somewhere and they're kind of getting to know each other and the one guy is like there's one guy who just looks he's fully animated he's an animated character and he looks monstrous
is this dirty cat thing yes and the guy is like he's like what is this what is is it a is it a
dog is it a is this a werewolf and everybody's like is that a werewolf tell us if that's a
werewolf and they're like and the main guy comes and he's like no calm down he werewolf? Tell us if that's a werewolf. And the main guy comes in. He's like, no, calm down.
He's a weasel.
And he never hurt anybody.
Actually, he killed like 27 kids.
But he's not going to hurt you.
And the weasel thing is just like, ha, ha, ha.
Does he have powers or just the powers of a weasel?
It's really just the powers of a pedophilic giant weasel.
They need to put him back in jail.
Yeah.
Well,
I mean,
they,
they all belong back in jail,
but they've got like a job that they got a dirty job for these guys to do.
So they pulled them out.
They're all like,
that's the thing about the suicide squad squad.
They're all murdering bad guys that they use to do dirty work.
In this one,
Idris Elba plays the,
the,
the role that Will Smith played in the first one.
He's like, I don't know.
I can't remember the character's name, but he's like some sort of firearms expert.
He never misses, I guess.
Is it Deadeye?
Might be, yeah.
And they're like, he's in prison for shooting Superman with a kryptonite bullet.
Is that why he's in prison?
That's why he's in prison.
Superman with a kryptonite bullet.
Is that why he's in prison?
That's why he's in prison.
They're like, he put Superman in the ICU by shooting him with a kryptonite bullet.
Does the shark guy
have any powers?
They're all on the radios.
They're like, alright, everyone check in. Do you see the
target? And the shark guy comes on. He's like,
I see a bird.
And he's like staring at a pigeon,
wanting to eat the pigeon.
And they're like,
stay off the mic.
He appears to be a retarded shark.
Who's who's,
who's really,
you know,
he still has shark instincts.
So I'm imagining like,
he's just going to go off the rails at times and just useless tactical area.
Most of them do seem useless.
It seems pretty interesting.
I don't know.
It looked funny to me.
It looked kind of zany and, and I was into it well we'll remember your prediction maybe
it'll be proven right i think it's gonna be most likely gonna be shit um because dc just can't make
a good movie they've made like two good movies ever batman was good that whole series was good
with liam neeson yeah yeah the three batman yeah some people don't like the third one but I do
yeah I thought the third one I mean doesn't stand up to the second one obviously but Tom Hardy did
a good job he did as good with the third one as he could they fucked up his voice and his delivery
when you get to the end of that movie and they all have a fist fight in the streets of Gotham
over a nuclear weapon okay that's really just like come on it's broad first of all Batman in
daylight doesn't work you can't have Batman walking around in daylight.
It doesn't work.
I've heard this criticism before, but Marvel does it and they own it.
And they say, look, this is a fictional story.
You're going to have to work with me here.
Remember at one point Hawkeye is talking to maybe Wanda and she's not sure about it.
What am I going to do?
And he's like, I've got a bow and arrow.
None of this makes sense.
Let's go.
Are you in or are you out?
And that's what makes it worse, right?
If Batman had had that scene with Alfred
and Alfred was just like, sir, it's daylight.
Everybody's going to see you in your codpiece and everything.
He's like, I know.
It's super embarrassing, but bat's got's super embarrassing but bat's got to do
what a bat's got to do they don't know my real dick size master wine this is getting embarrassing
my throat alfred my throat master wayne your father made me promise to never let you do
anything this cringe i have to do it alfred i have to go and fist fight tom hardy
like why does tom hardy have a gun yeah he's a bad guy he should have so he should be flush with
guns he blew up that stadium he had bombs no but they only have bombs but no guns and like
huge oversight huge oversight and it's not just a no gun zone yeah his gang of like
just kind of riffraff like fist fighting ruffians yeah that was his whole gang of ruffians was like
previous home like two days ex-homeless where he just drove around like
don't ask and i will give you a soup and just just people jump in. The Joker's whole character seemed a little...
The Joker is just a really bad decision maker.
That's the scoop on him.
How are we going to deal with a guy
who makes such unpredictable decisions?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think it was that he doesn't always act in his best interests.
He's unpredictable in that way. But he also seemed to have endless money, I don't know. I think it was that he doesn't always act in his best interests. He hardly ever does.
So he's unpredictable in that way.
But he also seemed to have endless money, kind of like Batman does.
And he didn't care about money because he burned what must have been a trillion dollars or something.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
Fighting inflation.
I mean, honestly, that would have really, like, the economy would have been booming after that, right?
If he burns a trillion dollars.
How would that help the economy?
I don't know.
It seems like the dollar would be strong.
Well, you see what he did. He takes money out of, I don't know.
It's like in international trading.
All of a sudden, the dollar is super strong.
I need a lot of infrastructure work over there in Gotham City now.
That's going to be.
I can't put that together.
I'm like, wouldn't it be better if he just took the
million and spread it around?
If he'd gone to a hot air balloon and
dropped it and made everyone like the Joker.
Wouldn't that cost hyperinflation, though, if he just pumps a trillion dollars
in the economy? I'm not sure that
trillion dollars existed in either case.
Where did he get that money from?
Just a series of banks, right? He extorted that
money from everybody. He made everybody
give him a billion dollars or something.
That whole racial cavalcade
of gangsters.
The black guy, the white,
obviously Eastern European white guy,
Japanese
or Chinese guy.
They're all freaking out when he lights it on fire.
United Nations of criminals
in a kitchen somewhere.
These guys are flush with cash.
Wait, what was that thing where
even the Joker's like, you're so
afraid of the Batman that you're sitting
in a kitchen shaking, like all that shit.
And it's like, that's not how this
would go. They'd be up in a penthouse somewhere
with like armored walls if they were
that spooked. They wouldn't be like hiding out at
Denny's. Batman's one of my favorite superheroes,
but I could,
I could smoke Batman.
Like,
like he would be so easy to kill.
Like,
it seems like he always shows up if you start doing some crime.
So then you just shoot him.
Right.
You can have a hard time shooting this guy.
Honestly,
like just wait,
like they know what his identity is.
Hire some,
like a couple of crack heads to like run him down when he's leaving a gala
with this car. Like, that that's it his car kind of
stands out yeah no not in his car i'm saying when when batman is leaving the little gala with his
his woman joker just has a couple people drive at him kill him and his date i would have been a so
much better joker i would have burned fake money you've got the accent down i'm impressed you can do the impression i would do yeah i would i would have kept the money actually
that would have made me not the joker just a normal criminal yeah pretty much i wonder if
there's good money in reading audiobooks like being the voice guy yeah i wonder if
i bet they do lots of voice work like I bet they read books and they also like video games
and animated
shit and stuff like that.
You guys are so good at accents. Do you think you could do it
so consistently I'd know
who the character is?
When I listen to an audiobook, sometimes I barely
know their names, but I hear their voices
and I instantly know who we're talking about.
I know I could not.
I don't think I could.
I mean,
you'd have to do a voice that was just slightly off of your own so that you
wouldn't lose yourself.
Like in the 40,
I was thinking like if I was to do an audio book,
the main character would sound like me.
Yeah.
So,
so he's covered.
I would love that.
Like by chapter three,
you have to give like a little,
you know,
prologue. Like by chapter three, you have to give like a little, you know, prologue.
Like now all the characters sound like that.
I've seen different ways of doing it.
The guy who does, I may be wrong about this because it's been a while since I've listened,
but I think the guy who does Helldivers just does the same voice for everyone.
I think maybe.
And I know that the guy that does the Hann the uh the hannibal lecter movies like silence
of the lambs and red dragon i think he just does like he can't do voices he has the most deep manly
voice i've ever heard so like and i've talked about this before but there's the one scene where
husband and wife are driving the car kids in the back seat and the wife leans over and it's like
valentine's day or her birthday or something he's like well what do you want's in the backseat, and the wife leans over, and it's like Valentine's Day or her birthday or something. He's like, well, what do you want?
And the reader's
voice is like, well, what do you want?
And then the wife leans over, and she
goes, you're a big prick
all night long.
And when he says that, I'm just like, oh!
You made it gay.
How did you make heterosexual sex
between a husband and a wife gay?
You're a big prick all night long. How did you make heterosexual sex between a husband and a wife gay? I hate my pussy.
How would you do that?
He's got the most gravelly, deep
man. He's like a Gears of War
character actor.
He sounds like he should be wearing 800 pounds
of armor and fucking stomping
mutants out, but instead he's doing
the full read of
Red Dragon.
Boys, I have had a day yeah let's well we can uh i bet i bet when you take a shower it's sandy in the bottom
oh dude the bathtub is dirty afterwards yeah uh all right pkn 357